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nyeigneous · 1 year

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Garth Igneous 加什·伊格尼斯

Age：45 年龄：四十五岁

Birth: 20/05/1893 生日：一八九三年五月二十日

Height：188cm 身高：一百八十八厘米

Build：Emaciation 体型：消瘦

Sexuality：Homosexuality 性取向：同性恋

Appearance:

He has short blond hair, light blue eyes, and an aggressive pointed nose.

There is a huge scar on the right forehead. A tattoo on the inside of his left forearm but is damaged by a scar. Both forearms were covered with scars made by knife. In addition, there are countless scars on his body, some of which are left by knife, some of which are left by wolves.

金褐色短发，浅蓝色眼睛，有着一个咄咄逼人的尖鼻子。

他的右侧额头有一个巨大的伤疤。

左臂内侧有一个纹身，但是已经被疤痕破坏掉了。他的每条胳膊内侧都布满了刀子划伤后留下的疤痕。除此之外他的身上也布满了数不清的伤疤，有些是自残留下的，还有一些是被狼咬伤留下的。

Personality:

Garth is a neurotic, selfish, arrogant, and cunning man. His good family background and rich knowledge make him have the arrogance to master everything, so once the development of things is not expected, he will lose his temper like a child.

加什是个神经质，自私，傲慢又狡猾的人。

他的良好的出身和丰富的知识储备让他有着一种对一切都尽在掌握的傲慢，所以一旦事情的发展不在他的意料之中，便会像孩子一样发脾气。

His mind is not complicated, but it is this straightforward way of thinking that makes it easier for him to do impulsive and reckless things.

他的心思并不复杂，反而正是这种单刀直入的思维方式让他更容易做出冲动和不计后果的事情。

He often overreacts to others.

他经常对别人的言行反应过激。

Because of bipolar disorder, almost all his shortcomings are magnified, making him a completely uncontrollable madman.

在患上躁郁症之后，他所有的缺点几乎都被放大了，令他变成了一个完全不可控的疯子。

Weapons and skills:

Shotgun, hunting knife, poison bait; Good at tracking, anti-reconnaissance, setting traps, and piss his partner off.

双管霰弹枪，猎刀，毒饵；

擅长追踪，反侦察，设置陷阱，还有惹毛自己的同伴。

重要的人：安德烈·别列科夫

宝贵之物：浪琴狩猎者腕表（安德烈送给他的）

恐惧之物：极光；骑马

Important people: Andre Berekov Precious things: Longines hunter's watch (Andre gave it to him)

Fear: aurora; riding

Other：

吸烟很多；Smoking a lot;

情绪激动时会过度呼吸；Excessive breathing when excited;

酒量很差；Poor drinking capacity;

画画很好；Good at painting;

写日记；Keeping a diary;

喜欢用口哨吹肖邦的降E大调夜曲九号第二首；He likes to whistle Chopin nocturnes op.9. no2;

小时候被父母逼迫学过钢琴，虽然很痛恨钢琴，但是弹得不错；When he was a child, he was forced by my parents to learn the piano. Although he hates the piano, he plays it well

人物历史History:

北方口音Northern accent

加什的父母是是来自伯明翰的地质学家和生物学家，他们是典型的守旧并且固执的知识分子。受到父母的影响，加什有着丰富的博物学知识，以及英格兰北方口音。

Garth's parents are geologists and biologists from Birmingham, UK, they are typically old-fashioned and stubborn intellectuals. Influenced by his parents, Garth has rich natural knowledge and a northern English accent.

在1900年左右淘金热时期，伊格尼斯夫妻带着18岁的大儿子赫尔，16岁的女儿利兹和10岁的加什来到阿拉斯加进行调研。与他们同行的还有26岁的詹森·斯坦福斯，作为孩子们的家庭教师。年幼的加什正是需要父母的时候，但是夫妻俩的工作非常繁忙，便将照顾加什和教他读书写字的任务全权交给了詹森。

During the gold rush around 1900, Mr. Igneous and his wife come to Alaska with their 18-year-old son Hull, 16-year-old daughter Liz and 10-year-old Garth for research. Along with them is Jason Stamford, 26, a tutor for the children. The young Garth is in need of his parents, but the couple's work is very busy, they entrust Jason with the task of taking care of Garth and teaching him to read and write.

温柔的人 A mild person

詹森是一个才华横溢的年轻人，本职专业是古生物学，曾经是加什父亲的学生。他性格随和有耐心，但是因为患过小儿麻痹症，他的左腿肌肉萎缩，只能靠手杖行走，同时还有各种并发症，导致他虚弱而瘦小。但是这并没有影响他的温柔和对生活的热爱。这些美好的品德同时也深深地影响了加什。

Jason is a talented young man with a major in paleontology. He was once a student of Garth's father. Because of polio, his left leg muscles atrophy and he can only walk with a walking stick. Various complications lead to his weakness and emaciation. But this does not kill his tenderness and love of life. These beautiful virtues also deeply influenced Garth.

加什小时候体弱多病，不喜欢户外活动，因此除了上课，他也有大量的时间跟詹森相处，两人像手足和父子一样促膝长谈，读书，学习钢琴，亲密关系与日俱增。在加什18岁那年，他大胆向詹森袒露了自己炙热而迷茫的倾慕之情。詹森也很喜欢这个好学而热情的男孩，但是职业道德让他拒绝了男孩。因为詹森也是一名同性恋，他没有指责加什非同常人的性取向，而是鼓励他勇敢做自己，不要违背自己的意愿。

As a sickly child, Garth does not like the outdoors, so he spends a lot of time with Jason in addition to attending classes. The two talk like father and son, read books and learn the piano, and their bond grows.

When Garth turns 18, he boldly confesses his hot, confused admiration to Jason. Jason also likes the studious and enthusiastic boy, but the work ethic makes him turn him down. Jason, who is also gay, does not criticize Garth's unusual sexuality, but encourages him to be himself and not go against his will.

但是这些事都被加什的父母看在眼里，他们辞退了詹森。加什与父母大吵了一架。

But Garth's parents see all this, and they fire Jason. Garth has a big fight with his parents.

詹森回到曼彻斯特的老家之后身体状况堪忧，但是一直跟加什保持着密切的书信来往，给年轻人的困扰和疑惑以中肯而温柔的建议。三年后，加什22岁那年，詹森怀着遗憾离世。

Jason returns home to Manchester in poor health, but keeps up a close correspondence with Garth, offering gentle advice on the young man's troubles and doubts. Jensen died three years later, when Garth is 22.

逃婚 To escape a marriage

1919年，加什25岁，关于自己的职业和专业规划问题，他跟父母进行了一场非常激烈的争吵。他的父母已经详细地为他安排了工作和婚事，要求他迎娶当地投资商的女儿，以获得学术上的经济支持。但是加什冲动地向父母表明了自己的性取向以及对自由的渴望。他的父母非常生气，认为是詹森给自己儿子灌输了不好的想法。一怒之下加什收拾行李离家出走。

In 1919, when Garth is 25 years old, he has a very heated argument with his parents about his professional planning. His parents have arranged work and marriage for him in detail and ask him to marry the daughter of a local investor in order to obtain academic financial support. Garth impulsively tells them his sexual orientation and desire for freedom. His parents are very angry, abuse Jason for instilling bad illusion into his son. In a rage, Garth packs up and leaves home.

在这件事前半年左右，加什的父母认识了来自美国南部的安德森·黑斯廷斯（27岁），这位英俊而富裕的年轻人正在为自己的事业寻找地质学以及生物学领域的专家的协助，他衣着华丽，谈吐得体，很快就得到了加什全家人的认可。两个年轻人就此相识了，并且私交甚密。

Half of year ago, Garth's parents meet Anderson Hastings (27) from the south of the US. This handsome and wealthy young man is looking for the assistance of experts in geology and biology for his career. He is gorgeous in clothes and spokes appropriately and is soon recognized by the Ignoneus family. The two young people meet and become intimate.

加什离家出走之后理所当然的去投奔了安德森，他很快就带着加什踏上了去往苏联出差的游轮。两人开始热恋。

Garth runs away from home and goes to Anderson. Anderson soon takes Garth on a cruise ship to the Soviet Union for a business trip.

安德森对于自己性取向从不隐藏，并且向外人介绍Garth为自己的男友。这些行为令Garth感到安全，他以为这是安德森认真对待自己的表现。但是Garth没想到的是，自己只是安德森炫耀的资本。

Anderson never hides his sexual orientation and introduces Garth as his boyfriend which makes Garth feel safe. But what Garth doesn't expect is that Anderson just takes him as a property could show off.

另外，安德森还是一个非常有控制欲的情场老手，他认为爱情只是交易，他提供奢华的生活条件，而男孩们只要听他的安排就好。他认为Garth寻找精神伴侣的想法非常无聊且没有意义。

In addition, Anderson is a control freak playboy. He believes that love is only a trade. He provides his boyfriends with luxurious living conditions, and the only thing the boys need to do is following his arrangement. He thinks that Garth's idea of finding a spiritual partner is very boring and meaningless.

白月光Bright moonlight

在那个年代，通过学术研究项目来洗钱的现象逐渐在有钱人的圈内流行起来。而安德森带着Garth去见的人，大部分也是这类执绔子弟。游轮上的日子花天酒地且奢靡混乱，Garth对这种气氛感到无助且厌恶，安德烈·别列科夫（23岁）也就是在这段时间内出现在他面前的。

In that time, the phenomenon of money-laundering through academic research projects becoming popular among the rich. Most of the people Anderson takes Garth to see are such dandies. The days on the cruise ship are extravagant and chaotic. Garth feels helpless and disgusted at the atmosphere. Andrei Berekov (23) appears during this time.

安德烈是那群苏联学者团里最安静的一个，大家都在喝酒应酬的时候他会找个安静的角落独自写写画画。相识之后Garth很快发现安德烈像自己一样也是对这场所谓学术旅行抱有错误的期待的人，并且，他在植物学上的知识令Garth震惊（虽然安德烈的口音给两人的沟通带来了不小的困难）。

Andrei is the quietest member of the group of Soviet scholars. While everyone drinks and socialize, he would sit in a quiet corner and write alone. Garth finds out that Andre, like himself, is also the one who has false expectations for this so-called academic trip. Moreover, Garth is shocked by his knowledge of botany (although Andre's accent makes it difficult for them to communicate).

跟安德森完全相反的是，温文尔雅的安德烈总能看到Garth灵魂上的闪光点，他尊重他的每一个灵感和观念，并将其演变成一场场友好而意义非凡的学术讨论。这几乎就是Garth一直在追求的关系状态。

Contrary to Anderson, the gentle Andre can always see the flash in Garth's soul. He respects every inspiration and idea of Garth and can turn every chat into a friendly and meaningful academic discussion. This is the kind of relationship state that Garth has been pursuing.

与此同时，Garth与安德森的关系在逐渐瓦解。安德森自顾自地将Garth引荐给学术圈名人，用钱打通渠道让Garth发布未完成的论文，擅自为他安排好了一切，Garth只要做一个不用思考的精致男孩去谄媚安德森就可以。这所有的一切都违背了Garth的原则。一次次的争吵并没有让他们互相理解，最终两人分手。

At the same time, the relationship between Garth and Anderson is disintegrating. Anderson arranges cocktail party bender to introduce Garth to celebrities in the academic circle. He buys ways for Garth to publish his unfinished paper and plans everything for him without authorization. The only thing Garth needs to do is being a good boy to flatter Anderson. All this violates Garth's principles. They row again and again and break up.

这之后安德烈正式开始追求Garth，将他介绍给自己的家人，并且在白俄罗斯的老家一起生活了一段时间。后来，两人决定前往爱丁堡大学进修植物分类学。

Then Andre and Garth fall in love. He introduces Garth to his family and live together in his hometown in Belarus for some time. Later, the two decide to go to the University of Edinburgh for master's degree in plant taxonomy.

一年半之后，两人研究生毕业，安德烈在毕业典礼上向Garth求婚。两人偷偷交换了戒指之后，踏上了前往北极圈的旅行。

A year and a half later, they graduate. Andre proposes to Garth at the graduation ceremony. After secretly exchanging rings, the two men embark on a trip to the Arctic Circle.

极光中的骑行 Riding under the aurora

婚后三年，两人旅行来到了加拿大育空地区，与另外一伙皮草猎人小队起了争执，被对方发现了恋人关系之后，遭到了恶意的报复。安德烈被殴打致死，割下生殖器之后尸体被悬挂在树上，并在脖子上挂着“我是鸡奸者”的牌子示众。加什则被监禁起来，被迫在极夜的漫天极光中看着恋人的尸体一天天被乌鸦啃食殆尽。几天后他凭借最后一口气逃了出去，骑马朝着南方一路狂奔，最终得救。

In 1923, the two men come to Yukon, Canada, and have a dispute with another group of fur hunters and they are maliciously retaliated. Andre is beaten to death. After being cut off his genitals, his body is hung in a tree and displayed with an "I'm a sodomite" sign around his neck. Garth is imprisoned and forced to watch his lover's body being eaten by crows in the aurora of the polar night. A few days later, with his last breath, he escapes, rides all the way south, and is finally saved.

育空疯狗The mad dog of Yukon

这段噩梦般的经历对他的打击非常之大，残酷的折磨也给他的右侧头皮部分留下了丑陋的巨大伤疤。他患上严重的躁郁症，自残，并且有自杀倾向。他曾经非常温和并且幽默，现在变成了一个臭名昭著的人，并且得到了一个育空疯狗的绰号。

This nightmare experience is a great blow to him, and the cruel torture leaves a huge ugly scar on his right scalp and countless scars on his body. He suffers from serious bipolar disorder, self-mutilation, and suicidal tendencies. He used to be a very gentle and humorous man, but now he has become an infamous one and gets the nickname of Yukon mad dog.

有传闻说，失去理智的加什找到了当年折磨他的狩猎小队并且用极其残忍的手法报复了他们，但是因为精神问题，警察让他只在监狱里待了很短的时间，他便重获自由。但是这也只是传闻而已。没人知道加什到底做了什么。人们只是再也没有在育空地区见到过那些人。

It is rumored that Garth finds the hunting team that hurt him years ago and retaliated against them with extremely cruel methods, but, the police let him stay in prison for only a short time because of his mental problems.

It's just a rumor. No one knows what Garth does to them. People just never see those people again in the Yukon.

危险游戏 Dangerous game

尽管加什的精神问题非常严重，行为也非常不可控，但是不可争议的是他是这一带地区最杰出的猎狼专家。1932年，他被邀请加入一支狩猎小队，他们计划南下去狩猎大型毛皮猎物。

Although Garth's mental problems are very serious and his behavior is very uncontrollable, it is indisputable that he is the most outstanding wolf hunting expert in this area. In 1932, he is invited to join a hunting team. They plan to go south to hunt large prey for fur.

初冬季节，加什遇到了身为守林员的哈特。哈特毫无怜悯的攻击将小队逼出了林区，同时，这个阴沉而凶悍的护林员吸引了加什的注意。他觉得，能杀死他，抑或被他杀死都是不错的事情。

In early winter, Garth meets Hart, a forest ranger. Hart's merciless attack drives the team out of the forest, while the gloomy and fierce ranger attracts Garth's attention. He thinks it is all good to kill him or be killed by him.

加什很快发现，尽管这个护林员的攻击非常凶猛并且极具威胁性，但是他似乎并不是真正想要他们的命。加什离开了队伍，独自回到木屋附近，开始用主动攻击的方式试探哈特的耐心的底线。哈特几乎是马上回应了他的攻击。然而像加什想的一样，哈特并不打算杀掉他——每一次射击都擦着他的脸颊飞了过去，只有几厘米的距离。

Garth soon finds that although the ranger's attack is fierce and threatening, he doesn't seem to really want to kill them. Garth leaves the team, returns to the cabin alone, and begins to test Hart's patience by taking the initiative to attack. Hart responds to his attack almost immediately.

As Garth thought, Hart does not intend to kill him - each shot wipes his cheek and flies over, only a few centimeters away.

加什几乎一下子就沉迷在了这场危险的游戏��中。哈特的反应让他十分满意——他的反击不会真正的对自己构成威胁，其中的威胁性又能让他兴奋起来。尽管他自己也清楚，这种病态的情绪源于当年他面对死亡时在心里留下对的心理阴影，这让他恐惧，狂躁，想哭又想笑，但是却是唯一能让自己感觉到活着的时刻。

Garth almost immediately indulges in this dangerous game.

Hart's reaction satisfies him - his counterattack would not only really pose a threat to himself, but also could excite Garth. Although Garth himself knows that this morbid emotion originates from the psychological shadow leaves in his heart when he faces death, which makes him afraid, manic, want to cry, want to laugh, it is the only time that he could feel alive.

怪人组合Freak couple

然而这场荒诞而危险的对决并不是以某一方的死亡为结局。在一个初雪天，哈特把加什逼到了绝路，但是他没有扣动扳机，只是问他为什么这么做。加什又哭又笑，说自己想死。哈特转身离开了。

However, this absurd and dangerous duel does not end with the death of one party. On a snowy day, Hart forces Garth to a dead end, but he doesn't pull the trigger, just askes him why he does it. Garth cries and laughs, says he wants to die.

Hart turns and leaves.

加什想不通为什么哈特有那么多次机会杀死他却没有下手。仇恨和恐惧在他的心里已经燃烧了太久，将他内心世界的草原烧得一片焦黑。然而从那天起，他能感觉到，一束光穿过黑烟照了进来，有什么东西在重新慢慢地萌芽。

Garth couldn't figure out why Hart has so many chances to kill him but doesn't do it. Hatred and fear have been burning in his heart for too long, burning the grassland of his inner world to black. However, from that day on, he could feel that a beam of light comes in through the black smoke, and something is slowly sprouting again.

重新建立信任的过程非常漫长。但是他们并没有什么细致的沟通和交流，对那场莫名其妙的枪战也只字不提。两个怪人只是共享一堆篝火，简单地说两句话，然后便自然而然的一起行动了。加什知道自然界也有不少很奇怪的搭档，比方说渡鸦和豺，蜜鸟和蜜獾。有的搭档甚至能终生在一起行动，即使一方死亡，另一方也不会再找新的搭档。也许他俩也是这样的动物吧。

The process of rebuilding trust is very long.

They do not have any detailed communication and exchange and do not mention the inexplicable gun battle. The two freaks just share a bonfire, say a few words, and then naturally act together.

Garth knows that nature also has many strange partners, such as raven and jackal, Greater Honeyguide and honey badger. Some partners can even act together all their lives. Even if one party dies, the other will not find a new one. Maybe they are such animals, too.

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thatsonemorbidcorvid · 1 year

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Bisexuality, Biphobia, and Health

This is going to be a quick run-through, but no doubt I'll return to this topic in future posts. For now:

The following are the statistically significant (i.e. strong evidence) findings of Horn and Swartz, 2019, “A Comparative Analysis of Lifetime Medical Conditions and Infectious Diseases by Sexual Identity, Attraction, and Concordance among Women: Results from a National U.S. Survey”:

Bisexual women reported higher rates of poverty (26.4%) than homosexual (18.9%) or heterosexual women (15.7%)

Bisexual women reported higher rates of asthma (18%) than homosexual (16.5%) or heterosexual women (10.8%)

Bisexual women reported higher rates of hepatitis B/C and were more likely to report having had an STI in the last 12 months than homosexual or heterosexual women

Bisexual women were more likely to report having had any form of cancer than heterosexual women

The 2016 “Comparison of Health and Health Risk Factors Between Lesbian, Gay, and Bisexual Adults and Heterosexual Adults in the United States: Results From the National Health Interview Survey” found:

46.4% of bisexual women had symptoms of moderate or severe psychological distress, compared to 28.4% of homosexual women, and 21.9% of heterosexual women

11.7% of bisexual women reported heavy alcohol consumption, compared to 8.9% of homosexual women and 4.8% of heterosexual women

Bisexual women were found to be more likely to have multiple chronic health conditions than heterosexual women

The 2016 “Intragroup Variance in Lesbian, Gay, and Bisexual Tobacco Use Behaviors” study found that bisexual women are more likely to smoke than homosexual or heterosexual women.

“Sexual orientation health inequality: Evidence from Understanding Society, the UK Longitudinal Household Study”, 2017, found that bisexual respondents had worse physical functioning scores, psychological distress scores, and health and life satisfaction scores than heterosexual respondents.

The Oxford Handbook of Sexual and Gender Minority Mental Health (Bostwick and Harrison, 2020), finds bisexual women to have worse rates of depression, anxiety, and substance use. They reference Conron et al., 2010, who found bisexual women to be TEN TIMES more likely to have considered suicide in the last year than heterosexual or homosexual women, and that bisexual women were more likely to have attempted suicide than any other group studied. They also reference Kerridge et al., 2017, who found bisexual women to have the highest prevalence of PTSD of any group studied, that bisexual people have more personality disorder diagnoses than heterosexual or homosexual people, and that bisexual women have significantly higher odds of a bipolar diagnosis. The book makes a point of noting that stereotypes about bisexual people may factor into diagnostic criteria and processes.

And just for good measure, below the cut is the entire bisexual chapter of "LGBT Health: Meeting the Needs of Gender and Sexual Minorities", 2018 - full references and digital text available on request:

#bisexuality #bisexual #biphobia

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elipheleh · 9 months

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The Waterloo Vase

But the first time I saw you. Rio. I took that down to the gardens. I pressed it into the leaves of a silver maple and recited it to the Waterloo Vase. It didn’t fit in any rooms.

Chapter 11, Red White & Royal Blue

The Waterloo Vase is a marble vase that stands in the gardens of Buckingham Palace. It is around 15ft high, 4.6m, and depicts the victories at the Battle of Waterloo - hence the name. The height listed varies between 15 & 18 feet, 4.6-5.5m, which probably is dependent on how they measured it.

The vase was initially commissioned by Napoleon, but after his defeat at Waterloo it was presented to the future King George VI, then Prince-Regent, who commissioned Sir Richard Westmacott to carve it. He wished for it to show the final battles of Waterloo.

Initially intended for display in the Waterloo Chamber at Windsor Castle, the weight of the vase - referenced as between twenty and forty tons - meant it wasn't feasible. After a few different locations, it was settled in the Rose Garden in Buckingham Palace in the early 1900s, and has remained there since.

The handles of the vase are depictions of angels, Victory and Defeat personified, with Defeat being shown with a shield atop their head. Above the depiction of Victory is one of Peace, who is presenting the Prince Regent with a palm leaf. Roses, crowns, shamrocks, and thistles are interlinked nearby, representing the national emblems all connected together. Also included were images of George III, then-King who had, at that time, retired from public life due to a mental illness that is now suspected to have been bipolar.

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There's something to be said that Henry chose not only to pour his feelings for Alex into something too big to fit inside the palace, but also that it was outside. Henry recalls that he "had better keep it a safe distance away" from himself. All his other feelings and memories were stored inside the palace, closed off and something he lives alongside, his grief and sorrow in rooms he would encounter easily. In contrast his feelings for Alex are placed outside, holding them at arms length so they can't impact him in the way he was so worried they would. They are something he has to consciously choose to revist, they are somewhere he can choose to avoid. There's a beautiful connection between the fact that his feelings about Alex and the Waterloo Vase itself were both too big to fit in any of the rooms at the palace.

The choice of the vase, with its connection to the King who was well known for dealing with mental illness - something comparable with Henry's 'dark days' - as well as George III's connection with the United States, makes it a multi-layered plot device, that on first glance appears to be much more simple than it can be read as. It is possible to draw connections between Henry and George III, tying both into the same link to history as the quotes of queer lovers through the ages Alex & Henry send as postscripts to their emails. While Henry's connection with America is the opposite to George III's - one lost the country whilst the other gained the country, albeit in different ways(!) - that link to the historical connection the UK had, and has, with the USA is notable.

Sources: Royal Collection Trust, Waterloo Vase Queen Elizabeth, Queen Mother image Good Morning Britain Coverage Chapter Eleven, Red White & Royal Blue

#i'm starting a series of learning about things that are referenced in the book #red white and royal blue #rwrb #rwrb movie #meta #i'm having a rough day with my brain wording so this isnt as polished or coherent as id like please give me grace i am cognitively disabled #long post #a series of learning about things that are referenced in the book #elio's #elio's meta

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krqs · 23 days

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omg transbipolar tips please? (if that's ok ofc!) if u do ty sooooo much (and no worries if not! ty anyway 4 being on tumblr :3)

hiii hello :33 heres some transbipolar tips from a cisBP II guything :D

general tips!!

track 👏 your👏 mood 👏!! i'd suggest one mood tracker for the moods/emotions you're actually experiencing (to track progress for example) (i use Daylio, it's great!) & one for the moods/episodes you want to experience! for BP specific moods (mainly depression/mania) i use Bipolar UK!

exaggerate your regular daily moods! if you've been in a good mood all day but suddenly feel a bit down play it up! i've gone from cruising in a very high mood (perhaps even bordering on hypomanic) to absolutely crashing for days because of one bad mood swing :P

hypomania & mania tips!!! (note: ive yet to experience a 100% manic episode, so i dont have as much personal experience there!)

hypomania: hypomania is characterized, for me, by very very high energy, high productivity (but never finishing anything), lots of inspiration & creative drive and feeling wayyy more social than usual!

also, completely losing track of my finances, needing less sleep (like. 2-3hrs & i feel well rested where i usually need 8-9,,), less need for food, almost no actual feelings of hunger (once in a month long ep i only ate One Piece Of Bread per day with the occasional (once a week max) pizza & was "fine") & being more open to drinking (and/or considering trying to get my hands on 'harder' stuff like psychedelics) where i usually straight up dont like alcohol!

i'd recommend going off of what's alr there for you; so if you notice you've been in a pretty good mood recently, say that's a hypomanic episode now! go out a lot (clubbing if you want to/can!), make efforts to meet new ppl & make friends, be very motivated & high energy and do everything (and i mean everything!) in excess (talk fast af & never stop talking, be restless and pace around, constanty occupy yourself w/ smth bcs otherwise you'll be understimulated af)

for mania: crank up everything about hypomania by about 300%. it's like there's a million bees inside your bones, you feel restless cant be still do a thousand things in a day, lose all sense of responsibility & become extremely reckless, either due to your extremely elevated mood or because of delusions or other psychotic symptoms.

oh yeah, psychosis! in a mixed ep i spent a day convinced i had somehow accidentally ingested alcohol (i hadnt)! intrusive thoughts, extreme anxiety around it, physical, olfactory & taste-based hallucinations around it, the whole package.

other BP based psychosis ive experienced: visual hallucinations (insects & spiders for me), jumbled & rapid thoughts (it felt different to adhd fast thoughts it was so weird lol)

see this article (link) for other psychotic symptoms during manic (or depressive!) episodes in pwBP!

i'd probably recommend "picking a theme" for delusions & halluciantions & the like, to make it easier to focus on them? tho i havent experienced psychosis enough to know if i have a 'theme' :P

depressive episodes!!

my least favorite (also, i feel like more things are known abt depression) (ALSO- i have seasonal affective disorder too which influences my BP episodes)

depressive episodes mean extreme lethargy for me. im tired 24/7 no matter how much sleep i get (& i'll be getting way more than usual. 10-12 hrs on average with the occasional 13 hrs 🥶).

very little movement. physical, mental, emotional, metaphyical. i often get stuck in bed, if not physically then mentally. spending my day anywhere but in my bed will feel weird & wrong. i will feel pretty numb/wont have access to my emotions anymore & often compltely stop thinking abt & processing my day-to-day life

^ this usually results in strong amnesia around depressive episodes but that might be a plural thing so. take it w a grain of salt lol

depressive episodes also make me self isolate as fuck. im talking forgoing my physical needs if theres a Chance i'll run into my roommate.

oh, yeah, also i just stop taking care of my basic physical as well as i do when balanced. i need to be starving to be able to get up & eat smth, & god forbid i want to actually cook smth rather than eating frozen pizza or eating out/ordering in

i also usually stop doing anything more creative than daydreaming (hashtag immersive daydreaming gang/silly) but even those are less immersive and less frequent. i'll be artblocked 24/7, have no inspiration or motivation and probably wont even miss drawing :P

& thats it! i hope you can find smth usefull in my rambling :3c /gen

and good luck & have fun with your transition!! you have my full support :D /gen

#Anonymous #asks ☀#rqc🌈🍓#radqueer #transid #pro transid #transbipolar

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ukrfeminism · 3 months

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Families of children left disabled by an epilepsy drug and women injured by pelvic mesh implants should be given urgent financial help, England's patient safety commissioner has said.

Dr Henrietta Hughes has called on the government to act quickly to help victims of the two health scandals.

It follows a review which found lives had been ruined because concerns about some treatments were not listened to.

Ministers say they will consider and respond to the recommendations.

Dr Hughes's role was created to look into the scandals surrounding the drug sodium valproate and pelvic mesh implants.

She told the BBC: "These families weren't listened to by a system that really turned its back, and fobbed them off with information which led to them not only being harmed, but thousands of others being harmed."

What is sodium valproate?

Sodium valproate is an effective medication for epilepsy and bipolar disorder.

If the drug is taken during pregnancy it can cause major birth defects, but for decades women were not properly warned about the risks.

An estimated 20,000 children were exposed to the drug while in the womb and many live with neurodevelopmental disorders, such as autism.

What is pelvic mesh?

For years, pelvic mesh was considered to be the gold standard treatment for incontinence and prolapse in women.

However, the net-like implant can erode and harden, cutting through tissue and causing serious pain.

Thousands of women who have experienced life-changing complications have lost their mobility, relationships and jobs.

Scientific papers from as early as the 1980s suggested valproate medicines were dangerous to developing babies, yet warnings about the potential effects were not added to some packaging until 2016.

Some families affected have been campaigning for decades to raise awareness of the potential effects of the drug, with some calling for compensation and a public inquiry.

Dr Hughes was asked by the government to look into a potential compensation scheme for those affected by that scandal, as well as the one involving some 10,000 women who were injured by their pelvic mesh implants - a treatment for pelvic organ prolapse (POP) and incontinence.

Some women were left in permanent pain, unable to walk, work or have sex.

Figures suggest there were 127,000 mesh implants to treat incontinence and POP between April 2008 and March 2017, but campaigners believe the actual number is higher.

Dr Hughes has recommended initial payments of £100,000 should be made to victims of the sodium valproate scandal and £20,000 to women injured by mesh implants.

This should be followed by further payments for some, as well as some non-financial assistance to victims and their families, Dr Hughes said.

'Scandal bigger than thalidomide'

Dr Hughes told the BBC she believed the sodium valproate scandal was "bigger than thalidomide" - referring to the severe birth defects caused by a morning-sickness drug, which was licensed in the 1950s in the UK.

"I've heard so many heartbreaking stories about the problems they're having in terms of getting access to the medical care that they need, but also the impact that it's had on the parents who have had to give up their work, give up their businesses and stay at home and care for their children," Dr Hughes said.

She said many of those born with disabilities - known as foetal valproate syndrome - had been unable to work or look after themselves as adults.

She said a redress scheme was "a question of justice" for families who had "been fighting for years or even decades".

Failure to help victims of the scandal would show "a callous disregard for the pain and the suffering" of those harmed, Dr Hughes said.

'Guilt' for taking epilepsy drug

Emma Friedmann, whose son Andy was born with foetal valproate syndrome, said she felt guilty about her son's condition.

"It's the guilt of taking the pills. It's the guilt of not asking enough questions. It's the guilt of becoming pregnant. It's the guilt of believing your doctors. It's the guilt of not being able to provide for your family."

Andy, now aged 25, is unlikely ever to live independently and is more like a six-year-old, his mother said.

Ms Friedmann said she was not hopeful she would receive any compensation and that her trust "can never be fixed".

"This is what makes me upset - that these people have known for so long and they are still resisting doing things."

She said she had found it difficult to cope emotionally, at times.

The government now says the drug should not be given to women or girls of childbearing age, except in special circumstances.

Even now, about three babies a month are born with developmental disorders and physical abnormalities after foetal exposure to the drug.

'Severe pain' from mesh

The initial review in 2020 concluded that the suffering caused by pelvic mesh had also been entirely avoidable, caused by failings in the health system and not heeding families' warnings.

Dr Hughes told the BBC many women who have been injured by the mesh have suffered, need wheelchairs and have to "pay a fortune" to travel to hospital appointments.

"It just adds insult to injury," she said.

Sadie Lambourne, from Yeovil, told the BBC she had lost her independence because of injuries sustained by her mesh implant.

She said she was advised by a surgeon to have it fitted to treat incontinence. After a few years, she said she began to suffer severe pain in her lower back and had many infections.

"The mesh had eroded through into my bladder, causing all the infection and pain," she explained.

Sadie had to give up working because she could not stand or sit for long periods, and her teenage children now help her shower and get into bed.

"I'm not able to be a mum for them," she said.

"We are living hand-to-mouth and we don't go on holiday.

"A redress scheme would mean I don't need to worry.

"If I knew then what I know now, I wouldn't have had the mesh."

Health Secretary Victoria Atkins told BBC Breakfast that the government had "listened to women who have gone through this horrific ordeal".

She said Dr Hughes's report was being looked at by ministers "very, very carefully" and the government will require some time to come forward with some "meaningful recommendations and proposals" in response to both scandals.

#articles #health

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m0rbidmacabre · 5 months

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Ghost Mutuals Tag Game 🦇 Send this to the last ten Ghesties in your notifications, then reply here with ten facts about yourself! Let's get to know each other!

Thank you for the tag @nihil-gaiman (Ps: I've meaning to tell you how much I fucking love your screen name!) 👀

Tagging: @papasmicstand @pinksweetsxtan @sodoswitchimage @ghostlylivres @fishwithtitz @copias-sewer-rat @silverofthunder @love-is-all-you-need-13 @switchplate-2 @her-satanic-wiles @sisterprocrastinator

Apologies if youve already been tagged

1. I have a weird thing about cryptids and monsters, bloody love them - give me a kaiju movie, a fuzzy blanket and some chocolate and I'm anyones.

2. My favourite horror movie is Halloween (1978) - I went to see the original at the cinema last year and it was so amazing to hear the John Carpenter opening theme on the big screen! 🎃

3. My favourite season is autumn 🍂 Samhian being my favourite festival and time of year - I love nothing more then a cozy blanket, big thick jumpers and big boots.

3. I love anything to do with the Occult, books, music and histories, it all really interests me.

4. I am a non-theistic Satanist - it's a big part of my life and has been for a few years now and my faith means a lot to me. I am consistently challenging myself, learning and improving. Satanism saved me in many ways.

3. I have fibromyalgia, bipolar disorder, social anxiety disorder and ADHD with suspected autism - which unfortunately leave me housebound, a lot of the time. My interests are my life really. 🖤

4. I live in the north of the UK - very near to Manchester.

5. Nothing makes me happier than being sat in my room in the dark with my candles, incense and vinyl player going. This is my selfcare.

6. I was a music photographer for 11 years and the biggest band I photographed was Metallica. I also got to shoot my favourite band Ghost on their first ever headline festival appearance in the UK. I was the proudest ever Ghestie that day.

7. Ghost has been in my life for 11 years and I could never see that changing. I love them dearly and they complete me.

8. My favourite papa’s (can't pick one) - Secondo and Copia. I also love Terzo too, because he was the first papa I got to photograph. My favourite ghouls are Sodo and Swiss, they do weird things to me. 🙈

9. I have a huge secondo tattoo and also covered in loads of other tattoos and piercings. I'm your typical doom metal cryptid really 😂

10. I am very sex-positive 🥵😈 and love to write fan fiction for others to live out there best sex-positive lives. Smut smut smut! 🖤

#ghost fandom #ghost #mutuals #mutuals game #fanfic #cryptid #about myself #10 things about me

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mcatmemoranda · 9 months

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If you miss three or more days of Lamictal, you have to restart it at the low dose and titrate up. If the patient gets any sort of rash whatsoever, they should stop Lamictal and never receive it again. It can cause Steven Johnson syndrome. Lamictal (lamotrigine) and Seroquel (quetiapine) are both okay for treatment of bipolar disorder in pregnancy. Lamictal is not as safe for breast-feeding a seroquel is. Lamictal can decrease the effectiveness of oral contraceptive pills. Although Lamictal can decrease the effectiveness of oral contraceptive pills, the likelihood of getting pregnant by accident is low. You start with 25 mg QD for two weeks and then increase to 50 mg QD for two weeks and then increase to 100 mg x1 week, and then increase by 50 mg every week if needing higher doses. You can go up to 200 mg a day if necessary. If you need more than that, then you can divide the dose b.i.d. You should use the lowest dose with the best effect.

Depakote and lithium should not be used in women of childbearing age.

So I asked her about lithium for bipolar disorder as well. Before starting you can check some baseline labs. At least check calcium, TSH, creatinine; monitor these as well as the serum lithium level. The therapeutic lithium level range is between 0.5 and 0.8. If the patient is acutely manic, 1.2 is a therapeutic level. When the patient is manic, serum levels of lithium are lower. When the patient is not manic anymore, he can have toxicity from increased doses that you needed during the manic episode. So you need to increase carefully and decrease it after they’re out of the manic episode. Monitor the patient two times a week with labs until they’re stable.

You can use mood stabilizers that are antipsychotics or mood stabilizers that are not antipsychotics. The mood stabilizers for bipolar disorder that are non-antipsychotics and therefore have no risk of causing tardive dyskinesia include lithium, Lamictal, Depakote, Trileptal, Tegretol. Lamictal is a moderate mood stabilizer and is not strong enough for patients with bipolar 1, who you have episodes of mania. It may be better for patients with bipolar 2, who have hypomania or not really any real manic episodes. Lamictal works for irritability as well in patients with borderline personality disorder. The antipsychotics that can be used as mood stabilizers include olanzapine, seroquel, Abilify, Latuda, vraylar, caplyta. The antipsychotics cause tardive dyskinesia because they occupy the D2 receptors. She doesn’t use Latuda as monotherapy. Vraylar has no sexual side effects. She said to stick with the lower dose, which is 1.5 mg, unless the patient is really manic. It takes 2 to 3 weeks for Vraylar to work. You can stay at the 1.5 mg dose for four weeks and then see the patient again and evaluate whether or not you want to increase the dose. Caplyta is sedating and you should tell patients to take it two hours before bedtime. Don’t start at the 42 mg dose. Use the 10.5 mg dose for elderly patients or the 21 mg dose for younger patients.

Ingrezza can treat tardive dyskinesia (send to Genoa pharmacy). Austedo is an older med for TD. Amantadine can also help.

Elderly patients should not receive benzodiazepines. You can use melatonin or trazodone for sleep problems in elderly patients. If they come to you and they are on benzos, she said you can slowly convert them to Valium (but Valium is a benzo so I’m confused by that🤷🏽‍♀️). There’s something called the UK benzo taper which is done over eight weeks.

Medication for schizophrenia include olanzapine and vraylar. Thorazine increases the risk of QT prolongation. Vraylar and caplyta do not increase weight gain. Injectable meds are also effective and are good for patients with poor compliance. If someone is of Asian descent you do gene screening before starting Lamictal. You can use Wellbutrin to treat ADHD but it’s not as effective. For children you can give them strattera, qelbree, or guanfacine, which are not stimulants. There are two classes of stimulants that can be used for ADHD which are the amphetamines and the methylphenidates. Some people have better success with one drug class or the other. So if they don’t do well on the amphetamines you can try the methylphenidates.

#psych meds #psych #antipsychotics #mood stabilizers #tardive dyskinesia #TD

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