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namazunomegami · 5 months

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A healthy dose of stalker Geto thoughts

a/n: FYI, thats the result if you lock me up in an empty room with my laptop and a playlist full of mareux, NIN and MSI. At least I got a newfound love for Closer now bc some years ago a fic ruined the song for me lmao

Before you ask, yes, I have mental problems. But likes and reblogs are still appreciated <33

wc: 1919

cw: geto is fucking delulu, online stalking, serial murder, poisoning, dismemberment, geto cooks his blood into a meal, implied bondage, kidnapping, reader was abused, corruption, reader is forced to torture and kill their abuser, gore

credits: nakatsuji sakutaro for one of my fave geto fanarts ever <33, my dearest @notveryrussian for proofreading, my criminal pedagogy teacher for some interesting details about organized criminals lol and arone_cosplay on tiktok bc his scream au cosplay was the sole inspiration when I started writing

The dark content is heavy with this one so there's nothing wrong if you won't interact with this post! If my horror enthusiast bestie says that this shit is scary, believe them. Minors are gonna get kicked, obviously.

He’s definitely not that “Joe Goldberg from You” type of stalker. He despises the guy, he watches that show to have a laugh. It’s his form of disaster tourism. Geto is almost the antithesis of Joe. I was a big fan of the first season of You so let me elaborate. Joe has a savior complex and he latches onto any conventionally attractive rich woman in his proximity and tries to mold them into his ideal type (which is vulnerable, dependent, innocent, and forgiving) and when shit hits the fan he becomes a whiney little bitch saying stuff like “aww, but I did this all for you :cc” because he’s in complete denial about his crimes and psychopathic nature. Geto is the opposite, and what makes him so fucking scary is that he doesn’t need to convince himself that his actions are right. He knows he’s right.

Also, he won’t put on a fucking cap and go out on the streets to stalk you. That’s just a dumb decision, he has a job to do, and it’s easy to recognize him. But that doesn’t mean that he won’t do it in his spare time, from a comfortable distance. He only needs one of your socials and digs up every little detail about you. Your entire lore. Pictures shared by your relatives when you were just a little kid, he tracks your friends’ accounts (he wants to make sure that you’re surrounded by the right people), all the locations, cafés, restaurants you share on your instagram highlights, your celebrity crushes, all the playlists you made on spotify, everything. He gets to know you before you’re even aware of his existence, you’re an open book to him before he talks to you. It’s so easy to get a feel of your essence in the online space, use the tremendous information to his advantage, surprise you, win you over with his fake thoughtfulness.

"Aw, you’re so sweet, how did you know?"

"Lucky guess."

Yeah, a lucky guess, he just scrolled your twitter until 4 am to reach your first ever post.

The easiest way to understand how his mind works is to look at his MBTI type and I’ll try to hold myself back to not flood you all with my everlasting love for Jungian psychology and cognitive functions. INTJs are meticulous, skeptical, analytical, practical, everything is centered around a bigger, more complex system, a spiderweb of thoughts. Their subjective ideals and values have the utmost importance. They get lost in the details sometimes, but they manage to prioritize creativity and rationality in their actions and thought process. So, if we want to pick a category among murderers, he’d definitely belong into a mission oriented type (canon is my only proof for this). He couldn’t care less about money, power, or satisfying his needs for control. He’s the personification of punishment in his mind.

Evil is petty, he is petty, but not so much to just deal with every single nuisance in the shape of a person (looking at Joe again lol). He won’t go after the Karens at your workplace or the shitty classmates who just wanted their name on your assignment without any contribution. If he kills, he must kill for a valid reason and does it brilliantly. Calm and level-headed, organized, devoid of anger or any intense emotion. He makes awful lot of preparations for a kill. He studies the victim just like he studies with you. Their schedule, relationships, habits, social media presence. He’d rather arrange the scene to give the impression of an accident. Mixing cleaning products, fucking around with the heating system and letting them die of carbon monoxide poisoning or a house fire (an easy kill if the victim smokes). He rarely lets himself get carried away and get all bloody and gorey because he knows how much effort he must put into disposing of the body. But he does feel like a god during the process. That he rules over life and death. That he has the divine right to decide who should be removed from existence.

The only slightly risky thing he allows himself, is to put his earphones in and call you up while dismembering a corpse. Good thing that his grandma has no use for that big ass meat grinder, a literal jackpot for getting rid of the bodies. His voice is soothing, so sweet you can turn into a blushing and giggling mess, but you can still hear the loud chopping noises as he severs the body parts right at the joints. He shrugs it off that he’s just meal prepping.

You believe him, you don’t question him further. But he does cook a delicious meal just for you and sends it to your workplace. And you have absolutely no idea that he was thinking about cutting up the ingredients with the same knife he killed his victim with. Luckily, he changed his mind. You don’t deserve to have any remnants of a lowlife in your system. But the idea was nice, just like how modern witches tie their favorite person to them. There’s something ritualistic about blood consumption in his mind that he can’t explain. Hopefully, a few drops of his own didn’t ruin the meal. At least you weren’t complaining about the metallic taste. He doesn’t mind he has to live off on two cans of Monster because he pulled an all-nighter. You’re falling head over heels for him so it’s worth the suffering.

The only thing that makes his heart ache is that as your relationship develops, he must use you to forge his alibis. He immediately copied the keys to your apartment, without your knowledge of course. Sometimes he drops by when you’re absent, goes through your stuff, sniffs around, looking for trinkets. He comes over specifically when he plans to kill his next victim. Sneaks out in the middle of the night, kills them, then goes back to your place and crawls back next to you. And he’s as silent as a cat, as a phantom, as a ghost.

He’s a fucked up man in every aspect. You think he’s too hyper fixated on restraints and bondage. He’s far too keen to spend an excruciatingly long time arranging the rope in an aesthetically pleasing way, or have the gag’s and blindfold’s colors match perfectly. His creativity and imagination are running wild when you’re the rigger. You almost question his sanity when he asks you to use cable ties and masking tape on him. What does he want? To feel tortured? Deep down he’s fascinated with the feelings a potential victim might experience. A taste of distress, vulnerability, helplessness that he usually has no chance to feel, yet he’s thrilled about it. You still won’t suspect a thing, everybody’s got a weird kink or two that they can’t explain, right?

He knows that one day, you’ll discover his secret. That he can’t hide it forever and even though he justifies his vile actions by giving it a noble cause, he must earn your forgiveness. He deliberately kept those who hurt you mostly alive. Whether it’s a bully, the shittiest ex known to mankind, or an abusive parent. He knows he has no right to kill them. But he can bring them to your basement, gagged and tied up. The best birthday gift ever is to let you have your revenge, right? Or maybe he just wants somebody as irredeemable as him, like he’s undeserving of anything nice in life so he must break it, tarnish it, ruin it. The world is a such a cruel place for kind spirits, he feels the need to corrupt them. Bring them down to his level.

He lined up a bunch of tools, a wooden bat, scissors, knives, razor blades, a hatchet, a hammer. He transformed the basement into a makeshift rage room. You don’t dare to cry, run, or scream at him, the person before your eyes makes you freeze completely, your features are distorted in dread. An old response got triggered, your nervous system remembers those years, you’re flooded with memories. You feel yourself regressing back to the victim you once were and that’s the process that Geto wants to stop once and for all. It’s so strange that you find safety in his presence and his firm hold above your elbows. He’s looming over you like a shadow, a shroud. Like the devil on your shoulder. Cooing in your ear to pick up something and have fun, let your rage cloud your mind, make them relive your pain. Don’t worry about a single thing because he will do all the clean-up. And you have no idea why, but you accept.

It’s strangely comforting. You feel in control, all-powerful, accomplished. It feels better than it should. It feels so right but it shouldn’t. There’s no guilt in you, only endorphins running rampant in your veins. The dopamine rush enslaves you, fills your brain with white noise. The pain does fade a little or something just irrevocably breaks in you. Maybe you’re just as fucked up as him and you managed to bury it in the deepest corner of your psyche. All bottled up for years like the most exquisite French wine, chained just like a beast but now it’s freed. Your reward is a bloody pile of flesh and guts that once was a person, and utter devotion gleaming in Geto’s eyes.

Your consciousness gets clearer, you notice the sensation of being drenched in blood and sweat when the realization hits you that there’s no going back. Now, you’re sticked together for life. You know his dirty little secret and now you’ve forged your own that he can blackmail you with if you ever want to get away from him. But why would you do that? You’re everything he needs and he’s all you have.

#i wanna write something kind and sweet after this one #this fic took a toll on me #i should blame the way i write povs #its kinda close to method acting but in writing lol #i try to think in character digging down in the deepest parts of their mind their pov is my pov #i literally warp my thoughts to get them right so you can guess how exhausting it is mentally to think and feel like such a character #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen #suguru geto x reader #the new fic im writing is a copjaku fic lol very kind and sweet indeed /s #jjk #geto suguru x reader #jjk headcanons #meesa writes

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rubyreduji · 2 years

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caught on camera — bsk

summary: being a cam girl is great, that is is until you have to consider your roommate

tags: smut (minors dni!), camstar!au, roommates!au warnings: explicit unprotected sex, cam shows/sex on camera, female masturbation, sex toys, sir kink, fingering, guided masturbation??, bondage, fingering, choking, multiple orgasms, slight overstimulation, aftercare wc: 7.9k an: so the original plot was supposed to be “cam roommates who don’t know each other cam” which i guess i kind of did?? but not totally the way i was thinking bc i was gonna do split y/n and sk pov but oh well, i still like it

There are two rules between you and your roommate that are absolutely non-negotiable. Most of your other rules are a bit more pick and choose on how strict you are with them, but there are two that you don’t dare cross.

The first is always knock and wait for an answer before entering someone’s room. The second rule is to never look in the other’s closest.

To the normal person they may seem a bit strange or strict, but to you they are imperative. You were glad that Seungkwan didn’t ask any questions when you brought up both of the rules. See if you had a more conventional job then you wouldn’t worry about those types of things, but you don’t have a more conventional job.

Hidden away in your closest is a plethora of camera equipment and an even larger array of sex toys. On top of your low paying part-time waitress job you also have a high paying three shows a week camgirl job. In your nearly four years of streaming you’ve gained a good amount of popularity and get enough tips to pay your rent and student loans even without your other job. The only reason you stay a waitress is as a cover up for your real job.

You cam under the name teddybearbaby and only one very trusted person knows it’s you behind the name. You keep your bedroom discreet and even have a special set of bedding and different room layout you use when you stream. When you stream you make sure to keep the majority of your face out of frame, only showing from your lips down.

You’ve found that you actually like streaming. It’s fairly easy and you get paid good money just to touch yourself. The only issue is having to work around your roommate. Don’t get it wrong, you love Seungkwan, and living with him is a dream, but trying to keep an aspect of your life hidden while living with someone else is a bit difficult.

Most days you stream when he’s not home, but when he is you often have shorter, less intense streams where you stay relatively quiet. You try to stream on Tuesdays, Fridays, and Sundays but it doesn’t always go that way, especially if Seungkwan puts a dent in your plans.

Luckily for you he’s on a long weekend trip with a couple of his friends so you have the house alone until Monday night, which means you get to have an extra long Sunday stream.

When you stream you have three different backdrops you use. One is your bed (with the lilac sheets and white floral bedspread), the other is the black faux leather futon couch that sits in the corner of your room, and the final one is on the floor with the fluffy white rug that stays in your closest until you take it out to stream. You always change the setup of your room when you stream and move it back when you’re done just as extra precaution.

You mull over where you should stream today as you walk around your apartment in just a big t-shirt and a pair of black underwear. As much as you love Seungkwan you also love when he’s not home so you can do things like this.

The rug is what you decide on as you walk back to your room to start setting up. You pull the rug out from your closet and unroll it in front of the blank wall behind your door. You set up your camera gear and hook it up to your computer. You shoot out a message telling your audience you’re about to stream before you get changed.

You stare into your closest at all of your options. Your fingers trail over all of your pretty lingerie sets before you pick out a light purple (your signature color) lace set. You pull the set on before going to sit in front of your camera. You don’t start your stream yet though, wanting to get yourself worked up a bit beforehand.

Your hands gently trail over your body, stopping to squeeze your boobs for a moment. After a couple more moments of pleasuring your breasts you bring one hand down to touch yourself between your legs. Whenever you get yourself off you don’t often have someone in mind, more just vague ideas and outlines in your brain, but they do just as good of work as any other fantasy.

When you’re breathless and have thoroughly soaked your panties you finally decide to start your stream. As soon as you click the confirmation button to go live you already have a handful of viewers ready. You smile at the tips and comments that flood in just from seeing you in your lingerie set.

hoshytiger: shit baby, you already look so good, been waiting for this all weekend

bigdickdokyeom: teddybearbaby rug setup? i KNOW this is going to be good

bigdickdokyeom tipped $100

iamdino: i know it's only been a minute but i need to see you naked RIGHT NOW

iamdino tipped $150

“Haha, you guys are eager today. It’s okay, I am too.” You sit up on your knees a bit so you can wiggle your hips for the camera. “It’s been a long week and my roommate is gone so you guys get to have me the whole day.”

The image you’ve made for yourself on HYBEHub is the sweet girlfriend. You rarely play a bratty character, instead opting for an innocent, obedient act.

daddycoups: you’re so perfect baby, need to see you get off so badly

catboymoon: the whole day? take all of money right now

catboymooon tipped $50

“‘M just so needy. Need to get off soon before I burst.” Before you started your stream you set out a couple of sex toys you thought you might want to use throughout the show. You look over to your side and pick up the large glass dildo before producing it for the camera. “Thank you daddycoups for sending this to me, but I think I need to open myself up first. Can I touch myself sir?”

daddycoups: glad my teddy bear likes her gift <3

daddycoups tipped $60

t4styw00: Take your bra off precious, then you can touch

“Yes sir,” you respond before you reach behind you to undo your bra clasp. You let the fabric fall to the floor as your breasts fall out into the open. Your rosy nipples are already hard from your pre-show teasing and you push your chest out a bit so the camera can get a better look.

The comments and tips go crazy at the sight of your bare tits. After it calms down you ask again if you can touch yourself and you’re then given the go ahead. You sit back so the viewers can get a better look at your wet pussy. You bring your fingertips down to touch your clit and you let out a loud moan.

“Sir, I’m so wet for you.” You spread the slick around in your panties before you hook a finger around them and pull them to the side so you can show off your bare, sopping cunt. “Look how needy I am for you sir.”

angelhan95: stick a finger in yourself baby girl, you deserve it

“Thank you sir,” you whine as you sink a digit into your wet heat. You thrust it in and out of you a bit more as your breath shakes.

wooziversefactory: Take your panties off and then add two more fingers. And be quick about it.

wooziversefactory tipped $200

You have a good amount of regulars in your chat but there are only about twelve or so that you truly look for. The same accounts that tip the most and have been watching you since the beginning. Those are the comments you take orders from the most often.

Swiftly, you strip out of your panties before you shove two more fingers into you. It’s a tight fit going from one to three without much build up and you can feel yourself struggle to stretch to the width.

“I don’t know if I can do it sir. It’s so t-tight,” you whine as you continue to work yourself open.

bboy8: pathetic little thing can’t even get three fingers into herself

gentles3xy: i know you can take it baby, fuck yourself nice and slow

gentles3xy tipped $75

“I’m trying so hard sir.” Your fingers are sliding in easier now but you still feel full from just the three fingers. Your fingers speed up as you fuck into yourself. Your fingers aren’t super long though, and you can’t reach where you really need to. You thumb at your clit, trying to help your orgasm along.

hoshytiger: are you close? i need you to cum soon so i can cum too

“I’m so close sir. Can I cum? Please.”

t4styw00: Go ahead darling

gyuranhae: cum

hvc21898: please cum

bigdickdokyeom: cum for us baby

wooziversefactory: Cum right now

With permission from the comments you release all of the built up tension in your body, your pussy spasming on your fingers as you cum. You can still feel yourself pulsating as you slide your fingers out of you. You spread your legs a bit wider so the camera can see. Your tips are going crazy as your views blow the chat telling you how hot you are or telling you how hard they just came.

“I’m glad sir liked it. Your baby needs more though. I need your big, thick cock inside of my tiny little pussy.” Your fingers find the glass dildo again and you rest on your lower back, your legs spread, as you press the tip to your entrance. “Can sir please fill me up?”

iamdino: my dick would stuff you so full if i was there

angelhan95: push that dildo into your needy pussy teddybear, want to see you creaming on it

gyuranhae: shit im already hard again

Slowly you start to push the dildo into you. It’s even bigger than your fingers and you can feel it drag against your walls the deeper it goes. You whine loudly when it finally is seated fully into you and you can feel the tip touch into your cervix.

You’re already clenching down on the glass as you try to adjust to it. It takes you longer than you thought to get to the use of the phallus inside of you. You’ve used glass dildos before but never one this big. When you think you’re finally ready to take it you grab the base and pull it out of you before you slam it right back into your pussy. Your toes curl into the rug below you as your hips lift off the ground.

Your eyes are clenched shut but you can hear the sound of the tips coming in. A slick squelching sound fills the room and you hope your mic is picking it up because your viewers love when they can hear how wet you are. You can feel yourself getting closer, your breath shaky as you try to get yourself off.

“I’m so close,” you whine. “Sir please, I need to cum. Please.”

daddycoups: look at your pretty girl, asking for permission so nicely

daddycoups tipped $100

hvc21898: please cum before i bust a nut

bboy8: let go baby, its okay, we all want to see it

With the approval of your audience you reach down to play with your clit. The extra stimulation is just what you need to send you over the edge. Your body stiffens up as you feel pleasure course through your veins, your orgasm washing over you in waves. Your pussy is clenching hard as you shallowly thrust the dildo into you, helping you through your high.

Your body slumps against the wall, motionless, as you try to catch your breath. The toy is still inside of you and you force yourself to sit up and pull it out of you. When you do you can see the white ring of creamy arousal on it. You stick your tongue out and kitten-lick at the shaft, cleaning it off.

catboymoon: holy shit my brain is going to explode

gentles3xy: i wish that was me

“Mmm sir, I taste so good. I wish you could taste me.”

gyuranhae: wanna taste you so bad baby

BOOtyful: oh my god you’re so hot wtf

BOOtyful: how have i not see you before??? i need more right away

BOOtyful tipped $500

“Oh my god, thank you so much BOOtyful. I’m glad that you were able to find me.” You rarely ever notice commenters who aren’t your regulars but this one catches your eye, especially because of their large donation.

angelhan95: woah who’s the new hotshot here?

iamdino: $500?!?! DAMN

hoshytiger: who does this dude think he is coming in here like this?

“Boys place nice,” you purr to the camera. “New viewers are a good thing. Especially when they tip like that.”

t4styw00: Baby girl is right, as long as they help take care of her

daddycoups: especially when we know we’re always be the favorites

wooziversefactory: You guys are all annoying. Don’t mind them teddybear. Now, are you gonna cum for us again?

“Ah, good question wooziversefactory. Do you want me to? If so, how should I, sir? Does sir want me to set up my Sybian?”

The chat goes crazy and you smirk to yourself a bit. Today is going to be a long day.

The tips you rake in from your single Sunday stream are even more than the amount you would make in a month as a waitress. Your body is worn and dirty when you get done and you head to the bathroom right away, scrambling through the halls naked. Normally you have an aftershow process you follow but you don’t feel too rushed considering you’re home alone.

You take a long, hot shower, cleaning away all of the sweat and slick from your body. Afterward you feel considerably better and wrap a towel around your body as you leave the bathroom. You’re humming quietly to yourself when you suddenly stop in your tracks.

“Uh, hi?” Your roommate, Boo Seungkwan, is standing in the kitchen, eating a sandwich, staring at you as you’re frozen in place in just a towel.

“Y-you’re home! I wasn’t expecting you back until tomorrow night.” You try your best to pull the towel tighter around you, trying to cover up as much as you can.

“I uh, got called into work tomorrow so I had to come back earlier. I didn’t know you would…ya know.” You can feel the way his eyes trail over your form. In the ten months of living together you’ve never had a run in with each other like this before and you shift a bit under his gaze.

Okay, here’s the thing. You maybe have a small crush on Seungkwan that you try not to think about because he’s your roommate and one of your closest friends and you don’t want it to be weird so you just keep it to yourself. It’s easy to hide when you guys have a more playful relationship with one another and focus more on teasing than anything else. But maybe sometimes (only sometimes) when you stream you think about Seungkwan but that’s besides the point. Seungkwan has never showed interest in you in that way so you shove it to the back of your mind but now he’s looking at you like you are the tallest glass of water ever and he is the thirstiest man alive and you can’t help but well your pussy start to damped a bit.

You’re about to respond to him when you remember the state of your room. Your whole cam setup is still laying open in your room, shoved to the side so you could get out of your room.

“I’m uh, gonna go get dressed,” you squeak out before you scramble off to your room. Quickly you pick up all of your camera equipment and shove it into your closet. You throw your used toys into a mesh bag to clean later. You glare down at the rug. You were a bit messier than usual today and it needs to be properly cleaned.

“Hey Y/N?” There’s a knock on your door and you jump. “Can I come in?”

“NO! I mean erm, I’m still naked.” You kick yourself at your choice of words. Why would you phrase it that way?

“O-oh. Well I just wanted to say sorry about earlier. I should have texted you beforehand.” Seungkwan’s voice is a bit high pitched and shaky.

“No biggie! It was an honest mistake. We’re roommates, it was bound to happen at some point,” you respond to him. You’re frantically rolling up the rug and throwing it into your closet (you’ll clean it after he goes to bed) before you start to open your windows and spray air freshener around.

“I still feel bad. Have you eaten yet? Let me buy you dinner to make up for it.”

You’re about to decline, saying it’s unnecessary, but then your stomach grumbles. You’ve been camming all day and you need to get your energy back up.

“Yeah okay, let me get changed and I’ll be out soon.”

Sometimes when you cam you have guests. It’s not often but it happens sometimes, especially if you have a special vision in mind. When you do, you take to enlisting the help of your friend Wonwoo. He doesn’t cam himself but he’s always down to help you out, especially because you give him a cut of the profits.

Wonwoo watches you streams (under the name t4styw00) so he knows what you like and all of your viewers love when he joins so it’s a win-win. Thankfully none of your viewers have connected that he is t4styw00, but Wonwoo claims he doesn’t care either way because his identity will still be anonymous.

You actually knew Wonwoo before you started streaming, you guys being close friends in college. You told him about how you wanted to try and start camming and as an occasional Twitch streamer he helped you set up the camera side of everything.

As a special four year anniversary stream you’ve decided to let Wonwoo join you so you could try something your viewers have been asking for: bondage. Wonwoo is extra though and insists on going the whole nine yards with a whole shibari arrangement.

“Is this too tight?” He asks as he tightens one of the knots he’s made in the light purple rope.

“I’ll tell you if it’s too tight Woo, I’m okay, promise.” You’re resting on your knees, naked, as he carefully ties your wrists behind your back. When he finishes with the ropes, he gingerly ties a matching light purple lace blindfold over your eyes.

With your consent Wonwoo starts your stream. You can see a little bit through the lace, but not fully, and you rely on your ears to listen to the three second countdown. Behind the camera you can hear Wonwoo stripping down to his boxers.

“Hi loves. As you can see things are a bit different today. As you know it’s my four year anniversary so I thought I would finally try out using ropes,” you tell the camera. “Woo is here today and he’s going to help while I’m all tied up.”

“Everyone tell TeddyBear how good she looks.” Wonwoo’s deep voice fills the air as he walks around the bed into view of the camera. He climbs onto the bed behind you and runs his hands over your body before tugging at the rope that sits over your hip. “She was so good for me while I tied her up.”

You can hear the tips coming in but you can’t read the chat with the blindfold covering your eyes. Wonwoo knows this and he chuckles at a few of them before reading aloud what they’re saying, telling you how good you look and how good you are.

“Hmm? You want me to play with her clit? I can do that. That okay with you baby?”

“Yes sir.”

You feel Wonwoo’s hand trail down your body until he reaches between your legs to touch you. His touch is gentle as he starts to rub slow circles into your clit.

“She’s already so wet. Did you get turned on just by being tied up?”

“Yes sir. It feels so nice.”

“What a good girl. So needy for me already. You’ll need much more than my fingers later on won’t you?”

“A lot more sir.”

Wonwoo continues touching you at a painstakingly slow pace, waiting for your tips to get higher before he does anything more. When they finally meet his standards he pulls his hand away from you and stands up.

“Lay down.” Due to your hands being behind your back you have to lay down on your front, your ass in the air and your face pressed into the pillows. As you follow the order you can see Wonwoo shift the camera so the angle doesn’t have your whole face in it. Even though you’re wearing the blindfold, Wonwoo is careful to take extra precautions with both of your faces.

When the camera is situated Wonwoo walks over to your dresser where you’ve laid out a few toys to use. He makes a ‘hmm’ noise as he looks over each one before picking up a black dildo. It’s on the bigger size of your toys and you don’t use it often due to that, but you’re not surprised it’s Wonwoo’s pick.

The bed dips when Wonwoo climbs back on and you feel him slap your ass hard. “Sir is going to fuck you with this dildo and you can’t cum until I tell you, got that?”

“Yes, sir, of course.”

“Always so obedient for me.” You feel Wonwoo press the tip of the fake cock to your entrance and you try not to squirm around, wanting the thick girth inside of you.

Wonwoo is in a good mood today though and he doesn’t make you wait too long before he’s pushing the dildo inside of you. You can’t take all of it right away though and Wonwoo shallowly thrusts it in and out of you to try and stretch you out.

“Ah, the comments are telling me how I should have fingered your pretty little pussy first. I’ll be nicer next time, okay? But you’re doing so well for me, taking it the best you can. Can you take more?”

“Yes sir.” You arch your back a bit more and spread your legs wider. “Want to take more for you.”

“My good girl.”

The praise has you melting as Wonwoo continues to thrust the dildo into you. After a little bit more he’s able to fit it into you down to the hilt and you feel completely full with the whole toy inside of you. Wonwoo gives you a few seconds to adjust before he’s pulling it out and thrusting it right back in. The fit is tight and your walls cling to the toy as Wonwoo moves it in and out.

“How are you always so tight? Shit baby, taking this cock so well in your small little pussy.”

Wonwoo’s free hand comes down onto your back, pressing you into the mattress even more. Wonwoo’s thrusting picks up speed and soon he’s properly fucking you on the toy. Pin-pricks of pleasure tingle across your skin and your mouth has fallen open so you can openly moan.

“The viewers are saying how good you sound, teddy bear,” Wonwoo tells you.

“Woo, I’m so close,” you whimper.

“Do you need to cum?”

“So badly. Please.”

“Okay baby, you can cum.”

You sob out as you clench down onto the toy. Your body is practically vibrating as you let yourself orgasm. Wonwoo pulls the toy out of you and replaces it with his fingers, curling them up into you as your insides flutter around them. Wonwoo is rubbing your back as you continue to cum.

Wonwoo pulls you up into a sitting position when you’re finally coherent. “You were so good for us. So proud of you baby.”

“Want you to cum too Woo,” you tell him.

“Ah, do you? How about you suck me off first and then I’ll fuck you. That sounds like a plan?”

“That sounds perfect sir.”

Wonwoo makes good on his plans and you two go at it for another hour and a half before he ends the stream. He undoes your ropes before pulling you into his arms, rubbing at all of the sore spots on your body.

“I need to shower Woo, I’m all gross.”

“Stay here with me for a second. Your body isn’t going to like you if you try to stand up right now, you were just tied up for two hours.”

You can’t argue with that so you stay in bed, letting Wonwoo work out all of your muscles for you. You like streaming with Wonwoo because that means you have someone to perform aftercare on you, other than having to take care of yourself. On top of holding you and giving you a massage he often brings you water and changes your sheets for you too as you shower.

With a bit of help from Wonwoo you’re able to stand and walk over to the bathroom. You clean yourself off, letting the warm water run over you, before you get out and pull on a pair of soft shorts and a large t-shirt.

When you walk out of the bathroom you find yourself faced with Wonwoo and Seungkwan stuck in a very awkward conversation with each other. What is Seungkwan doing here?

“Kwan! Have you uh, been here the whole time?” You ask. If he has, he definitely heard you moaning out Wonwoo’s name. Nobody in your life knows that you and Wonwoo have had sex now it’s even worse that your roommate knows. From the way his skin is tinted pink you already know your answer.

“I-it’s okay!” He assures you. “I just didn't know you guys were uh-”

“We aren’t! We uhm, it’s not like that.”

Wonwoo hasn’t said a word since you walked out of the bathroom and he’s looking like he wants to just disappear into the walls. You don’t blame him.

“Anyways, sorry about that Kwannie. I’ll be a lot more mindful next time!” With that you grab Wonwoo and quickly drag him back into your room. Why do you keep ending up in these situations with him? The idea was already outlandish but now you know Seungkwan isn’t going to want you if he thinks you’re hooking up with Wonwoo. Which you are but this is different, it's for your literal job. Not that Seungkwan knows that and you can’t tell him that so now you’re just screwed.

Your fourth anniversary stream blows up, which you’re not surprised by. The highest tip you received was $1000 from user ‘BOOtyful’ which also doesn’t surprise you. Ever since that one Sunday stream he’s watched all of your other streams (whether he shows up during the stream or watches it later when you upload it to your page) and he’s even gone back and watched some of your old streams and tipped on them as well.

You’ve never been curious about who your viewers are. You like your regulars but you’re not jumping on the chance to find out who they are, but this guy has taken an interest in your mind.

The second person that’s taken an interest in your mind is another streamer who goes by yourboobear. Your viewers keep telling you you should collab with him since you guys apparently stream around the same times and both have “bear” in your users. You’re not too keen on the idea though. You don’t really like having anyone other than Wonwoo on your streams and even though they’re also a streamer, you don’t love the idea of another person knowing your identity. You don’t even bother checking out the guys’ channel, instead just telling your viewers you’re not looking to collab with anyone any time soon.

Your anniversary stream made so much that you cancel your normal Friday night stream so you can relax for once. You consider going out but decide you’d rather stay at home and have a more laid back night.

A night in with your roommate sounds nice so you walk out of your room to find him. When you walk into the living room you see him sitting on the couch, totally entranced by his phone. When you get closer you can hear small moans coming from the device and you realize what’s happening.

“Are you watching porn?” You snort as you try to look at Seungkwan’s screen over his shoulder to see if you know who he’s watching. Unfortunately for you he slams his phone into his chest before you can get a good glimpse at anything.

“N-no!” He sputters out, his pale face already turning pink.

“Lemme see.” You try to snatch the phone out of his hand but Seungkwan isn’t going to give it to you that easily.

“Get away from me!” Seungkwan scrambles off the couch and starts to run away from you but you only follow behind him closely.

“Why is it something dirty?”

“Y/N!” Seungkwan stops, his phone turned off now. “I wasn’t watching porn in the living room.”

“Then show me your screen.”

“No.”

“C’mon Kwannie, there’s nothing to be ashamed of,” you tell him.

“Okay then, what kind of porn do you watch?”

“Oh I don’t watch porn.” It’s not a lie, you really don’t. You know some other streamers but you don’t really watch their content. You can get yourself aroused enough before your streams that you don’t have to watch something to help you get into the mood. You don’t even watch your own streams back.

Seungkwan looks a little dumbfounded at this. “You…don’t watch porn?”

“Nope. I don’t need to.” You shrug. You’ve seemed to catch Seungkwan off guard which gives you the chance to lunge for his phone in his hand. You’re able to snatch it and it takes Seungkwan a second too long to process what happened because you’re already running away, typing his password into his phone.

You can hear your roommate screaming at you as he chases after you but you don’t focus on him, instead looking at what’s on his phone. When you finally see what’s on his screen though you stop in your tracks, your mouth hanging open a bit at the sight. Seungkwan catches up to you and is about to chew you out but stops when he sees your reaction to his phone.

On the screen HYBEHub is opened and it’s playing a video of a girl sitting on black futon, bouncing on a large dildo while she holds a small purple bullet vibrator to her clit. Normally you wouldn’t find anything weird about it, but what catches you off guard is that you’re watching yourself get off.

“Fuck~ sir I feel so good. Your big dick filling me up so full,” your whines flow out of Seungkwan’s phone speaker. You remember this stream, most likely because it was only from a few days ago, the stream you did right before your show with Wonwoo.

You’re finally snapped out of your daze when Seungkwan speaks up. “W-what? It’s just a cam girl.”

“How long have you been watching her?”

“What?”

“How long have you been watching teddybearbaby?”

“I thought you didn’t watch porn!”

“Boo Seungkwan, answer the question.”

“I don’t know! Like a few weeks or so? I just remember it was a Sunday when I first watched her.”

“YOU’RE BOOTYFUL?”

“How do you know that! Wait-”

You quickly slap a hand over Seungkwan’s mouth so you don’t have to hear him say what you know he’s about to. You didn’t mean to reveal your identity to him, but you were just too stunned when you finally realized who was behind some of the biggest tips you’ve ever received. Your roommate, your friend, your crush Boo Seungkwan has seen you masturabte on camera multiple times.

“When I take my hand away, you’re not going to say what you’re about to say, got it?” Seungkwan nods and you slowly remove your hand.

You two stand silently, staring at each other. It's obvious you both want to say something but don’t want to make things awkward, or well, even more awkward.

“So…” you start, “I guess you know now.”

“Yep.”

“Look, I know you watch and all but watching and doing are two different things and I really don’t want you to think like…lesser of me because I cam and-”

“Wait, wait, wait. I never said anything about that! I uh, also cam,” Seungkwan admits in a small voice.

“YOU WHAT?” Out of everything that is not what you were expecting.

“Y-yeah. Uhm, I’m yourboobear.”

You blink at him a couple of times before you realize what he’s saying. “What the fuck,” you mumble. “Wait you cam?"

"How do you think I get the money to tip you so heavily?"

"But I've never- you never- when do you cam?”

“I cam a lot of the times you do. That’s why I'm never home when you cam and why I rarely tune in live when you stream. I cam over at Hansol’s house.”

“Hansol?”

“Yeah. He doesn’t like, watch, or anything but he lets me cam there for the privacy. He actually watches your streams,” Seungkwan says, not being able to meet your eye. “Hvc21898? Yea that’s Sol. He’s how I found you in all honesty.”

“Oh.”

“So I’m guessing ‘Woo’ is Wonwoo?”

“Uh, yeah. He’s like the only person who knows that I’m teddybearbaby,” you say. “So that weekend when you were out with your friends but came back early was also the Sunday you found my channel…”

“Uh yeah. I actually wasn’t out with my friends. I was supposed to have a collab that weekend and things went south so I came back early. I was actually on the train when I saw your stream. Not my best moment.”

“My viewers want us to collab,” you blurt out.

“I’ve noticed. I mean I don’t want to make you uncomfortable. Like I obviously find you super hot but you keep during down the suggestions so-”

“I want to.”

“Y-you want to?”

“Yeah…” You think about if you should tell Seungkwan about your crush on him. Fuck, the man has already admitted to wanting to fuck you, waht’s the worst that can happen. “Actually Kwannie, I really like you. M-more than you know, sexually.”

“Fuck Y/N.”

“W-what? Do you not like me like that because honestly it’s okay you can just ignor-” Seungkwan cuts you off with a kiss. It’s fleeting though and he’s pulling back within seconds.

“I like you too, dummy.”

Your chat goes crazy the second you start your stream. Most likely due to the announcement you sent out earlier and the title of your stream. the teddybearbaby and yourboobear collab you have been waiting for.

bigdickdokyeom: holy shit it’s happening

bboy8: no because i’ve been waiting for this one

bboy8 tipped $75

daddycoups: damn you two are hot together

daddycoups tipped $125

You’re in a honey yellow lingerie set sitting on Seungkwan’s lap. His hand is rubbing circles into your hip as his mouth sucks at your neck. He already fingered you before you even started the stream but he pulled out right before you were able to get off and now you’re dying for your release. Your boyfriend can be so mean sometimes.

“Ah they’re so eager already baby,” Seungkwan says huskily into your ear. “Ready to give them a show?”

“Yes Boo, so ready.” You squirm around in his lap, too horny to think about anything other than your orgasm.

Seungkwan’s hands come up to grope at your breasts under your bra and you moan at the touch. His fingers work at your nipples, spreading pleasure through your body.

gyuranhae: my dick is already so hard

t4styw00: well would you look at that

t4styw00 tipped $50

gentles3xy: you better treat our girl right boo

“Don’t worry gentles3xy, she’s in good hands.” To emphasize his point Seungkwan squeezes your breasts extra hard, causing you to mewl out.

hoshytiger: you’re taking too long, i wanna see her pussy already 😩

iamdino: personally if that was me i would never make a woman wait

angelhan95: who even is this guy smh teddy bear blink twice if you need help

You laugh at your regulars’ antics. “I think they want us to do more Boo.”

“I see that,” Seungkwan mutters. “May I remind your viewers that I’m the one in your bed, and not them.”

hvc21898: lmfaoooo he got you guys good

“They’re lucky you’re irresistible,” Seungkwan says and he removes his hands from your bra. One hand is placed on your thigh while the other is brought down lower to where you really need it. Automatically he starts to rub harsh, quick circles into your clit. His hand helps spread your legs open to give the camera a better view.

Your pussy soaks your panties as Seungkwan plays with you. His fingers are already slick and there’s no resistance when he pushes your panties to the side and slides two fingers into you. You jump at the intrusion and you clench down onto him. You pant as Seungkwan continues to finger you, even as you cum.

“Did you guys see that? Our little teddy bear here came just from me putting my fingers in. What a dirty little girl,” Seungkwan teases. He pulls his fingers out of you and brings them to your lips to lick clean. You suck on the digits, running your tongue around his knuckles, tasting yourself off of them.

wooziversefactory: Holy shit baby, that was so hot

wooziversefactory tipped $100

catboymoon: i’ve never seen her cum so fast, thank you for your service yourboobear

catboymoon tipped $80

“Oh we’re just getting started.”

“Shit sir, please. You’re so big. Fuck you fill me up so good.” You continue to run your mouth with nonsense as Seungkwan pistons up into you. His dick is girthy and stretches your pussy out to extremes you didn’t even know it could stretch to. He has his hands on your waist as you bounce up and down in his lap. You’re free of your lingerie but Seungkwan is still in his boxers, his dick pulled out of the fly.

“You’re so noisy,” Seungkwan growls as he grabs you by your neck. He pulls you into him so your lips crash into his. You feel his grip tighten around your jugular while his lips move against yours. He kisses you roughly, bruising your lips and making your heart flutter.

Your fingers sit daintily on Seungkwan's chest, helping you push yourself up only to fall right back down onto his cock. His tip kisses your cervix and you can feel the tension in your body getting too much. Your fingers start to dig more into Seungkwan’s skin and he starts to get the message.

“Are you close?” His voice is breathy and whispered. You can’t bother to speak and only nod. “I’ve got you baby.” He wraps his arms around your torso tight and plants his feet onto the bed so he can use it as leverage to punch up into you harder and faster.

You nearly forget you guys are streaming but then you hear another influx of tips and remember that you’re putting on a show. The sound of Seungkwan’s name falters out and you moan out his stage name instead.

“That’s it, pretty girl. Come on, cum for me.”

You whine loudly as you fall apart on Seungkwan’s cock. Your muscles twitch as you let a euphoric feeling fall over you. It doesn’t take long for Seungkwan to follow right after as he pulls out of you so his cum can spurt all over your guys’ stomachs. Your pussy is still pulsating and you can feel the soreness in your thighs from riding Seungkwan’s lap for so long.

Seungkwan’s bangs stick to his forehead with sweat and you smile dopely at it, knowing that the viewers don’t get to see this, only you. You push said bangs off of his face so you can press a kiss to his forehead.

“Do you want to keep going?” Seungkwan whispers low enough that the microphone won’t pick up on it.

“Yeah, kind of you,” you tell him.

“Okay, we’ll keep going.”

Seungkwan picks you up off his lap and lays you down onto the bed. Even though he just came, his dick is still half hard and you know it won’t take much to get it back to being fully stiff. Your hand reaches down to grab him. You fist him in your hand, abusing the tip. As you thought, it only takes a couple jerks to get him to full mast.

daddycoups: i bet her fucked out face is so sexy

bigdickdokeyom: fuck i wish it my cum that was all over her

angelhan95: okay maybe you’re not too bad boo…

angelhan95 tipped $60

Neither you nor Seungkwan are paying much attention to the chat as you lazily play with each other. Seungkwan’s fingers trail against your labia, not directly stimulating you, but still enough to leave tingles under your skin.

“Ready for another round?” Seungkwan asks you.

“Yes please.”

“Anything for you baby.”

Seungkwan shucks his boxers before crawling over your body and lining his tip up to your entrance. Slowly he pushes back into you and you sigh in contentment. Seungkwan’s thrusts are a lot slower and gentler than earlier, taking his time to work at your body.

bboy8: is it just me or is the vibe…different than when she cams with woo?

iamdino: no i’m picking up on that too

gyuranhae: it’s more soft

gyuranhae: not that i’m complaining

gyuranhae tipped $50

gentles3xy: well i think they’re cute

catboymoon: same, i kind of prefer this lol

t4styw00: bruh

Seungkwan’s lips are tangled with yours as he kisses you sweetly. Your hands are buried in the hair at the nape of his neck and melt at the way his hand holds your hip tenderly. His thrusts are long and slow, the pace completely different than just a few minutes earlier.

Neither of you are in a rush to find another orgasm as you both have already cum multiple times. After Seungkwan fingered you, he ate you out and you came on his tongue, his head buried between your thighs. You of course paid him back with a blow job that ended with him fucking into your throat.

You were expecting Seungkwan to finally fuck you after that but instead he grabbed your magic wand and pressed it up to your clit and made you cum from just that and nothing else. You were sobbing and writhing around on the bed as he did. The audience seemed to particularly like that little segment of your guys’ show.

Then finally after Seungkwan was fully satisfied he flipped you over and fucked you from behind. His hands gripped you tight as he pulled your hips into his. His thrusts were heavy and forceful and you had to grab your headboard for stability. Half way through though, Seungkwan made you change positions so he could see your face (and tits) while you rode him.

Now you guys are where you are, lovingly having sex a lot softer and carefilled than before. Seungkwan’s hand finds yours and he laces your fingers together as continues to roll his hips into you. You can feel him gradually working the pace up, but not at such an alarming rate here you both feel obligated to make it rough and heated.

“Oh Boo, you feel so good,” you mumble. “Love having you inside of me.”

“You like it baby? I like it too.”

You’re still a bit sensitive from your orgasm earlier and Seungkwan speeding his thrusts up is making the tension in your body build up quicker than you expect.

“Need you to speed up, please,” you beg. Seungkwan complies to your needs, planting a knee firmer on the bed and sitting up a bit so he can thrust into you faster.

“So, so pretty like this,” Seungkwan tells you. His hands run down your front and stop at your breasts so he can squeeze the supple flesh there.

“Need more sir, want to cum again. Need it so badly.”

“Ah I see now. My baby girl is getting a little desperate. Don’t worry anymore teddy bear.” Seungkwan grabs your legs and pushes them up to your chest and then uses them as leverage to thrust even harder into you. With your legs up he hits at a different angle that has your mind reeling.

Your fingers grip onto your sheets tightly as you try to ground yourself. Your legs are shaking in Seungkwan’s grip and your breath comes out in heavy pants the more his cock digs into your pussy. You want to release so badly but you know better than to without permission.

“She’s so close. Do you guys think she should cum?” Seungkwan asks your audience.

angelhan95: obviously, look how good she’s been

wooziuniversefactory: Let our baby have her release

t4styw00: Don’t be mean Boo, let her cum

“Ah, your viewers are attacking me again,” Seungkwan pouts. “But they say I should let you cum so go ahead baby, I know you need it.”

You cry out your gratitude as you orgasm for the umpteenth time. Your pussy is fully spent when Seungkwan finally pulls out and cums all over your thighs. Your body is limp on the bed as you try to catch your breath and your bearings, your mind all fuzzy with post-coital haze.

Seungkwan is already up off the bed, most likely going to get water and some towels for you guys, leaving you to end your stream yourself.

“Well I’m thoroughly fucked out now and I’m in need of a good shower and nap so I think we’ll be ending this here. Thank you all so much for tuning in and commenting and tipping it means the world to me. I hope you all liked youboobear because you’ll be seeing a lot more of him in the future. Love you all and I’ll see you next time!” You blow a kiss at the screen before you hit the “end stream” button and close your laptop. You flop back on the bed and close your eyes, ready to go to bed.

“Nuh uh, not yet,” Seungkwan says, already reading your thoughts. “Come on, the sheets are gross and so are we. I’ll draw us a bath but as I do you have to drink this whole glass and then go pee.”

“Ugh why are you so responsible?” You whine but still open your eyes and sit up.

“Because I don’t want you getting a UTI,” Seungkwan responds as he drops a kiss on your forehead.

You groan and stand up, or well at least try, but your legs give out and Seungkwan chuckles before he sweeps you up into his arms and carries you to the bathroom. He runs a bath like he said and he helps you in before he slides in behind you.

His soft hands run across your skin lovingly as he presses a kiss into your shoulder before he asks you, “So when are you going to come on my channel?”

taglist: @pandorashbox

#seventeen #seventeen fanfic #seventeen smut #boo seungkwan #seungkwan #seungkwan smut #seungkwan fanfic #seungkwan x reader #seungkwan scenarios #seungkwan imagines #rru.fics #rru.writes #★ mdni

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sakasakiii · 1 month

Note

hi!!! how long does an average panel of one of your comics take??

i love your work so much!! it got me into silmblr hehe

HI NONNIE!!! thank u sooooso much for checking in and for ur lovely ask! it means a lot to hear that my silly ol scribbles were what introduced u to the glorious landscape that is the tolkien fandom! on tumblr no less!! i hope you stay a real long time, and have a blast while you're at it 💖💖

now onto your question! that's some good food for thought uhhhh i can try to estimate?? its been a while but i shld have some rough ideas abt each that i can share! the time frame each comic/panel takes is highly dependent on WHAT kind of comic it is. i hv two kinds of comics I usually do: 1) full-length, and 2) goofy/4koma.

i have a few full-length comics laying about in my archive, but my most recent one/best example is Ghosts which was around uh.... 7 pages excluding the bonus panels! in terms of the process, i usually divide it into 5 stages:

Drafting: this is either the fastest stage OR the slowest depending entirely whether i know what im doing LMAO,, if i have a set idea for what i want to happen, i might get drafts done in a few hours, but if i flounder, it can take a few days 🤔

Lineart: relatively simple enough once i hv the draft down, so id say anything ranging from an hour to half a day if theres nothing else going on irl

Block colouring (main actors): there are DEFINITELY easier and more professional ways to do this with mass-selection and the lasso fill/bucket tool, but idk how to do that on SAI (my art program) so i colour everything by hand HAHA which makes the process longer.... half a day to a day?

Shading: THE WORST!!! definintely my least favourite bc i find it tedious due to all the details/prettification of elves that i am legally obliged to pour into this stage 😭😭 as a result, it can take days!!!

Background + Lighting + Final Rendering: similar to the previous stage haha it just depends on how much effort i wanna put into the final product looking nice. roughly a few days? it kind of meshes with stage 4 anyways haha

just for fun, i hope this process gif for page 6 can illustrate that 👇

these are just rough estimates, bc all in all, the time it takes so finish a page is really dependent on how free I am hahaha. Also, I usually work on full-length comics like Ghost which have more than one page all at once, which means I drafted all 7 pages at once, then did the lineart for all 7 pages at once, coloured at once, shaded rendered bla bla bla 😚 iirc, i think it took me 11 days in total to finish Ghosts before the end of June last year!

For goofy/4-koma, its usually just one page with less detailed/more cartoonish/chibi character styles so it takes a day or two days at most! again, it all boils down to how free i am hehe

YEAH SORRY THIS ENDED UP BEING AN INFO DUMP but thank you so much again for asking and letting me ramble! <3 i ended up having a lot of fun looking back on my drafts n thinking back on my processes.... theres defininitely room for improvement, but thats another worry for another day heheh 😎

#rin replies #anon asks #silmarillion #yeah sorry again this turned into a yap fest 💃💃#i never knew all those wips wld come in handy but maybe its a good thing i like sending myself things hehe #cannot reiterate enough how much i HATE colouring :((((#thank you again for ur kind message nonnie <33 #silm #silm comic #wip #behind the scenes stuff

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bucky-barmes · 2 years

Text

♥︎ Destined (To Fail?) ♥︎

[ gif from @topgundaily ]

bradley 'rooster' bradshaw x f!mitchell!reader

in which you get called back to top gun to teach the next detachment. sounds like a dream gig until your two most hated men are there also

chapter one: here we go again

a/n: this is going to be relatively canon to the new film, just with lil tweaks here and there to make it flow smoothly. readers callsign is highness, thought it was pretty clever of me seeing as she's mav's daughter (also it just sounds badass af), reader also has a name as i felt it's just what felt right and flowed well with the story (and totally not just now realising that the first and last name start with the same letter like bradley so let's just pretend i did that on purpose) also i am but a humble australian writing about the us navy so if i got anything incorrect pls either let me know nicely or just deal with it bc i don't even know anything about my own navy let alone another country's

word count: ~3.5k words

contains: this story is gonna be angsty so hold on to your butts, already angsty af from the get go, swearing (are we surprised?), rocky relationship with father(figure), hangman being a flirtatious lil shit, reader being a badass, i think that's about it but pls lmk if i missed anything!!

as always, reblogs/comments/feedback/etc are always always always appreciated and wanted ♥︎ pls i crave external validation

my blog is 18+ only, minors dni

[ all my work is my own and not to be reposted or translated anywhere else ]

You and Bradley Bradshaw were destined for each other. Growing up together, you were inseparable, seeing each other daily. Spending just about every second of the day in each others company.

After everything that happened with Goose, Maverick swore to never leave the family’s side. Even when his own relationship was falling apart. Nothing could come between Mav and protecting that family.

So, ever since Bradley was born, exactly 1 year and 2 months after you, you had been practically joined at the hip, impossible to separate.

It was no surprise to anyone when you announced that you were officially dating in your teenage years. Although your father would say that he was less than impressed with you dating any boy, even Bradley himself. But he had accepted it, only after a thorough talking to from Carole Bradshaw.

There was only one thing that could come between you and your destiny. Pete ‘Maverick’ Mitchell. And boy did he really get in the way. Really took everything you held dear to yourself and threw it in the dirt, stomping all over it.

“I’m gonna kill him, I swear I’ll fuckin’ kill him!” Bradley stormed through the door, red with rage.

“Brad, what happened?” You were quick to jump up to his side, concern evident in your voice. The paper you eagerly held on to before now an after thought.

“Maverick! He fuckin’ pulled my papers.” There was venom dripping from every word Bradley spoke, anger coursing through his veins. “All of that work, down the drain, everything I’ve done is all for nothing.” He was pacing and throwing his arms in the air, unable to contain the pure rage running through him.

“I’m sure there’s been some sort of misunderstanding, dad would never-”

“No, Mia! You don’t get it, he’s ruined everything, everything I’ve ever worked for!” He was facing you now, yelling, basically spitting his words at you. “You’re his daughter, you’ll never understand, never have to understand. You’re gonna get everything in your life handed to you no questions asked!”

You couldn’t believe his words. Didn’t want to believe his words. They cut deeper than anything anyone had ever said to you.

“You think I have it easy because he’s my father?” You spat back, just as venomous. “I have to work twice as hard as anyone else just to prove that I’m not some nepotism baby. No one’s ever going to appreciate me for my own ability, I’ll only ever be the great Maverick’s daughter!” You threw your hands up in disbelief. Disbelief that he would even think that. Disbelief that you were standing in your kitchen screaming at each other.

“Well I guess we’ll never know.” Bradley chuckled cynically. “If he pulled my papers, there’s no way in hell he’d let you get accepted.” You clenched the paper in your hand harder instinctively, shoving it into his chest.

“That’s why I never told him, I’m not that stupid.” Your eyes narrowed at Bradley as his widened, smoothing out the paper to read.

‘We are pleased to inform you of your acceptance into the Naval Academy in the field of Aviation Welfare’.

Bradley could only stare at you, slack jawed, eyes darting between you and the letter.

“I can’t believe this shit.” He shook his head in disbelief. “This is so fucking bullshit!”

“What the fuck, Bradshaw? I thought we were in this together?”

“Yeah, we were, until your dad pulled my fucking papers.”

“That has nothing to do with me. I didn’t exactly ask for him to be my father. Hell, I would’ve specifically asked not to have him if I could, but I fucking can’t, okay. Are you really going to let this, him, ruin everything?”

“He already has, when he pulled those papers.” You stilled, all emotion draining from you at his words, going numb.

“So this is it? Everything’s over?”

“My life may as well be, thanks to him.”

“Get out of my house.” You had to force yourself not to scream at him, knowing that it wouldn’t help the situation. Bradley said nothing as he stormed out of you kitchen, letting the door slam on his way out.

That was the last time you saw Bradley Bradshaw, your boyfriend, before you left for training.

That was also the last time you referred to Pete Mitchell as your dad. You disowned him as your father and vowed never to forgive him for what he did to Bradley, and subsequently, you. From then on, he was only ever Captain Pete ‘Maverick’ Mitchell to you.

It had been years since you had spoken to either of the two men. Pete had tried to insert himself back into your life, showing up at ceremonies and important events in your life, but you always kept it strictly professional, refusing to acknowledge him as your father.

Bradley, on the other hand, you hadn’t spoken to since the incident back in the kitchen of your family home. You’d never admit it, but you never truly got over him, and you made yourself a promise to never let anyone get close like that again. The two men you should have been able to trust the most destroyed you in a single day. You would never let that happen again.

That’s why you were surprised to receive a call from Admiral Beau ‘Cyclone’ Simpson. You had crossed paths when you attended Top Gun, (like father like daughter right?), but you didn’t think you had made much of an impression on him. You may have kept to yourself, but you also always made your opinion known, even if it was an unpopular one, and definitely put people in their place if they were out of line. But if anyone dared liken you to Maverick you’d have their head for it, as a couple of the men from your Top Gun squadron found out the hard way.

Clearly Cyclone appreciated your skill as well as your personality, because his call was to invite you back to Top Gun to teach the next intake. Something about a mission that was too classified to discuss over the phone.

Making your way back to Fightertown had you reminiscing on the ride. You had chosen your trusty Triumph Thruxton to fully enjoy the long journey, packing only your essentials in a large duffel bag secured across your back.

You and Bradley had grown up here. Just about every turn held a memory of the times you spent together.

You didn’t have long to reminisce however, as you were soon pulling into the Top Gun base, back at your old stomping ground. Now, memories came flooding back of your days flying there, coming out top of your squadron. That was potentially the best day of your life, knowing you finally beat Maverick, finally were better than him. That didn’t happen to be the first time you had proved yourself better than him, either.

The briefing for the cause of your return was long and tedious. There was an underground uranium plantation breaking NATO laws that needed to be taken out. You were assigned with teaching the best of Top Gun how to succeed in this, and most importantly, to teach them how to all make it back home. Your main task was to ensure the team became just that, a team. Easier said than done when most of the pilots that graduated top of the class had an ego to match. But you were always up for a challenge.

Seeing as you were now back in your old stomping ground, you thought it was only fitting to visit Penny at the Hard Deck after the briefing, you definitely needed a drink after the news. Maybe you could even scope out some of the class while you were there.

As you stepped through the door of the bar, you were greeted with the familiar buzz of chatter and music from the juke box. It was only mid afternoon, but the place was already lively.

You made a beeline for the bar, dodging already tipsy bodies moving around the room chaotically and thumped your hand on the bar twice to get Penny’s. You couldn’t help the grin that spread across your lips as she angrily turned to see who had the audacity to get her attention like that. But her death glare soon slipped to a shocked grin when she spotted you, dropping her cloth to give you a hug over the bar that was so tight you thought she might crack a rib.

“Mia! What the hell are you doing back around here?” Penny poured you a beer as she gave you a questioning side glance.

“Apparently they need some new life ‘round here to teach the new- well old new meat.” You flashed her a smirk over the rim of your glass she had handed you before taking a sip.

“Well, god help the poor souls that cross your path in that classroom.” She returned your smirk easily.

“Penny, my dear,” a tanned, blond-haired man approached the bar opposite you, a smirk on his lips that you just knew was there 98% of the time. “I’ll have another round on my tab, please.” He threw in a wink for good measure. Then, his eyes were on you, widening slightly at the sight of you as he chewed on the toothpick between his teeth.

“Well, well, well,” the blond made his way around the bar to stand next to you. He leaned an elbow on the bar and rested his palm on his defined chin. “And who do we have here?” There’s a glint of something, lust, surely not, in his eyes as they roam over your features.

“Who wants to know?” Eyeing him up and down right back as you took another long sip of your beer, only your look was one more of annoyance than lewd interest.

“She’s a woman of mystery, Hangman,” Penny placed his 3 beers on the bar for him. “Good luck.” Winking at you before she returned back to the other customers waiting.

“So, Hangman? You like word puzzles or something?”

Hangman couldn’t help the slight snort of laughter that escaped him. “Gotta admit, haven’t heard that one before.” He nodded to his friends as they came over to grab their beers, realising that they’d probably never make it to the pool table they were gathered around. “But,” he glanced back to you. “I guess you’ll just have to find out how I got the name.”

If you were being honest, you zoned out about the time his posse came to rescue their drinks. Your heart had sunk the second you saw his famous Hawaiian shirt walk through the front door, fear only solidified as you heard a voice call out “Rooster, that you?”. You gulped down the remainder of your beer and slapped down a $50 note to cover your drinks, plus some. Your eyes caught Penny’s and you gave her a silent plea of ‘I was never here’, she replied with a knowing nod.

Hangman just stared at you, confusion spread across his handsome features.

“Thanks for the chat, Hangman, but it’s time for me to go.” You spoke as you hastily got out of your seat, eyes flashing to where Bradley was now standing with his friends, his back to you.

“Hey, can I at least get your—” You were up and making your way out the door before Hangman could even finish. “Name.”

“Like I said, Hangman, woman of mystery.”

Training began the next day, with only 3 weeks until the uranium plant was operational, you had to get a move on if any of this was going to work.

You were stood at the back of the room, having entered after the candidates were seated, waiting for Admiral Bates to introduce you.

“And she’s one of the greatest pilots I’ve seen come through this program. I give you Rear Admiral Mia Mitchell, call sign Highness.”

Your heavy boots thundered on the concrete floor as you walked up the aisle between the tables to the front. You could feel every single person’s eyes on you, and if you had’ve looked, you would have seen a few staring a little more intensely than others.

You turned on your heel at the front to face the group, flashing Bates a smile before nodding to the team. Eyeing them over your Ray-Bans, you noticed Bradley clench his jaw, avoiding eye contact. Jake Seresin, on the other hand, was clearly trying to hold back his shocked expression and act cool. But you could see him chewing on his gum a little harder.

It was your turn, however, to try and mask your shock as Admiral Bates introduced the second teacher. He and Simpson had warned you that there would be a second person, but gave nothing away on who it might be. Now you knew why.

“His exploits are legendary, and he’s considered to be one of the finest pilots this program has ever produced. I give you Captain Pete Mitchell, call sign Maverick.”

Your whole body stiffened, subtle smirk your lips just held falling slack jawed. The echo of his boots walking up the aisle reverberated in your ears.

He nodded at Bates and then you as he moved to stand beside you. Not him. Anyone but him.

You silently thanked yourself for keeping your Ray-Bans on, otherwise the whole room would have seen the sheer terror in your eyes at what was happening around you, and you couldn’t let the candidates see any weakness.

“I’ll let you two take the floor.” Admiral Bates stepped to the side, allowing you both the freedom to speak.

Pete held up the instruction manual for the F-18 aircraft. “I’m sure you all recognise this, and know it better than the back of your own hands.”

“Hell yeah.” “You’re damn right.” You were able to pick out the voices of Hangman and Coyote as you stared at Pete, wondering where the hell he was going with this. Obviously the team knew the manual, it’s your bible in Top Gun.

Pete dropped the brick of a book into the trash can beside him, and everyone gasped. “Well, so does the enemy. What they don’t know is you, the person in the box. Over the next 3 weeks we’re going to learn every single detail about you, anything we can use to our advantage to win this fight.” You’re sure he felt you stiffen beside him, you could feel his eyes on you from your peripheral.

Pete continued to explain the mission, a uranium plantation going against NATO laws that needed to be destroyed. All happening in 3 weeks. Everyone’s faces mimicked each other, pure shock and concern at how the hell they were going to manage this.

“Anything to add, Rear Admiral Mitchell?” Pete’s voice snapped you back from your mind wandering, you cleared your throat.

“Say again?” You turned to face him, the sound of the candidates in front of you chuckling filling your ears. You forced the red tinge away that was trying to make its way up your neck.

“Do you have anything you’d like to discuss?” Pete gave you a questioning look as he rephrased his question to you.

“Ah, right,” you cleared your throat again, turning to face back to the team in front of you.

“As I’m sure you’ve realised, Captain Mitchell here is in charge of prepping you for the flight and potential fight, the nitty gritty stuff. Well, I’m here to take this roomful of egos and turn it into a team.” You pushed your sunglasses onto your head, allowing your eyes to roam over the group in front of you, lingering on Hangman as you mentioned egos. “My job is to get you working and communicating effectively as a team, so if you have any plans on hanging your teammates out to dry, I’d suggest changing them. If you leave your teammate in a dogfight, 200 pushups; if you sacrifice them to make yourself look better, 200 pushups; if you do anything to put your team at risk, 200 pushups.” The room was silent, your authority bleeding through your words.

“I’m expertly trained in reading people, I can see straight through you if you lie to me, so just make it easier on the both of us and don’t try. I’m here to learn anything and everything about you, to build this team and make sure you all get everyone home safe to their families. Any questions?” The room remained silent, everyone staring at you with wide eyes, even Pete. “Excellent. Training starts at 0600 hours tomorrow, sharp. Dismissed.” The class stood, collecting the notes they had taken and filed out of the room, leaving you and Captain Mitchell alone.

“So are you going to tell me what the hell that was, Mia?” Pete was staring at you square on now, brows knitted together in a mix of concern, confusion and frustration.

“It’s Rear Admiral Mitchell, let’s keep things professional, Captain Mitchell. And to answer your question, that was what I wanted to discuss with the class.” You chose to ignore the way Pete’s body language deflated at your cold manner towards him.

“That was a bit much, don’t you think?”

“We have three weeks to make a team out of the best of the best, we don’t have time to fuck around here, Mitchell. Do you want these guys coming back or not?” Were you a little more blunt than you intended? Maybe, but you really didn’t care.

Pete just shook his head and sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I suppose you’re right. You always did know how to win friends and influence people.” He chuckled to himself as he walked out of the room, shaking his head slightly.

The last night of freedom before shit got real. The Hard Deck was packed as usual, the whole team for the uranium plantation mission was there, all taking the time to get to know one another better. A fact you wished you’d have been warned about before you stepped foot through the door.

“Highness! Come have a drink with us!” Natasha Trace, aka Phoenix, was already pulling you in the direction of the of the pool table the team was gathered around before you had a chance to protest. Fraternising with the team, your students, wasn’t exactly what you had in mind for your last night off in who knows how long.

“Well, I’m glad to see everyone is getting to know each other better, especially outside of training.” You gave them all a tight-lipped smile, hovering at Bradley for just a touch longer than the others. He just stared at you blankly. Clearly he still wasn’t over everything that happened, you thought to yourself.

“Fancy a round with us, Highness?” Something about the way Jake Seresin spoke your callsign made you uneasy. Not in the sick to your stomach kind of way, just in the way that made you think there was something more beyond what he was saying.

“That depends, you talking pool or beer?” You could feel yourself easing up around them all quicker than you realised, even flashing Seresin a cocky smirk as you answered him.

“I’m sure we could work something out that involves both.” Seresin winked and the rest of the team could only stare in quiet shock at the not-so-subtle flirting going on between the two of you. It made Bradley’s blood boil.

Natasha could see the effect the interaction had on Bradley from a mile away and she nudged his shoulder with her own.

“You good?”

“I’m great.” He replied through gritted teeth, obviously the complete opposite of fine. He could only glare as you accepted the beer Seresin had just bought for you, noticing the trace of a genuine smile behind your usually professional smile. It made him sick. Out of all people, it had to be Seresin?

“And that’s a fuckin’ lie.” Natasha was facing Bradley straight on now, hands on her hips in a way similar to that of a mother concerned for her child.

“Quit it, Trace!” Something about the way Bradley bit at her name made Natasha wince, if he continued on like this, there was no way in hell he was making the cut and they’d be stuck with Hangman as lead. Over her dead body.

Bradley could already sense she was about to press further and cut it off at the source.

“Just fucking leave it, Natasha.” He turned on his heel and stormed off towards the exit before she could protest further, leaving her staring at his retreating figure.

Something about the way he snapped almost made you feel bad for him. Almost. But you weren’t about to let Bradley fucking Bradshaw ruin your night, or your career. He would have to either get over whatever his problem was with you, or pack his bag and walk off the mission. There was no way in hell you were going anywhere, even if you had to work alongside Mav. This was potentially a career-making mission, and nothing was going to stop you from what may be on the other side of it.

perm taglist: @katieshook02

some moots i think might like it: @traitorjoelite @coyotesamachado @callsignvalley @ohtobeleah (pls let me know if you would like to not be tagged in future ♥︎)

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elfiaa · 1 year

Text

12:00 A.M

[sleep is for the weak. How will the twisted boys spend their late nights with you?]

A/N: Established relationships, but can be platonic if you squint 🧍🏻 Just general sleep headcanons :) some are more crack than others though…sorry if you were expecting something more serious 😅 first part of a (maybe..?) series, so first years gotta be..well first! Another A/N at the end <3

A. Trappola

𝗟𝗮𝘁𝗲 𝗡𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁 𝗛𝗖

Ramshackle is a second home for him

And no, I don’t mean it in the sweet way

Man is over here at 11:00 PM knocking on the door bc he was hungry

Y’all can’t catch a break 😭

Whenever you do eventually let him in (instead of letting him succumb to the freezing air outside ☺️) he makes himself comfortable on your bed

He’s probably kicking his feet and getting all comfortable, half guessing you’d just hop in💀

Did he do this on purpose?

Yes

Is this his greatest achievement?

Absolutely

Is def a cuddler, but in the way that in the morning, your sheets are half on and the duvet is nearly off the bed🧍🏻

You guys carelessly skip through children’s channels and the TV to quench the boredom

But then a second later mans is snoring loud af

Grim does not appreciate his bed buddy being stolen

I’m sure he’s sleeping on the floor to prove a point, only bc Ace tried to convince him to sleep in the middle

Ace is not superior 🤨‼️is what grim is probably thinking as his half conscious body is clawing at the sheets

Maybe that’s why they were half on…

Other than the time ace is a breathing rock, he’s relatively chill when awake

If you provide him with some snacks by the bedside, he’ll make sure not to bother you too much

Maybe the occasional 3:AM thoughts

And when he’s ESPECIALLY groggy from staying up late

He’s an angel 😍

————————————

𝗦𝗹𝗲𝗲𝗽𝘆 𝗛𝗖

When sleepy, ace is a completely different person

Def against his own will too

He can’t help it! Even though he’s in a less mediocre bed than in his dorm, he finds your company very soothing

Please just ignore him acting more clingy and mushy

If you tease him in the morning he will ignore you

Until Riddle almost collars him, and he’s back asking for you as Housewarden of Ramshackle to pls give him a pass !!

His pajamas are probably hella atrocious.

Atrocious in the sense he probably never washes them unless he has a stain on it

Greasy af..

If you’re the motherly type or just naturally care for your friends by tucking them in, or humming a soft tune, he’ll tell you to cut it out! But not rlly stop you either..

Indulge him this once!! He promises that he won’t bother you for the rest of the week !

Well…that’s a bluff, but you’d let him get away with it too, wouldn’t you?

Anyways 6/10: he’s a pain to entertain, but you love him so the score had to be above 5 🙄

————————————

D. Spade

𝗟𝗮𝘁𝗲 𝗡𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁 𝗛𝗖

Look, the only reason he’d ever be awake is because of ace 💀

Ever since his redemption arc of becoming a model student, he’s probably been going to bed at like 8:00 sharp. 9:00 if he’s cramping in some late work, but nothing more!

If he is awake and it’s late, it’s just another weekday of him being dragged to do late hw 😔

Like ace, he becomes very groggy. Usually when he was younger, he’d just walk off the drowsiness, but he’s a new person now!

He probably asks you to pinch him awake if you see his eyes start to droop.

Is probably shocked for a few seconds, but it helps keep him awake, and a bit motivated seeing you trying so hard to help him. (He promises your help will not go in vain !!!)

He wants to keep up with you!!

If in the case, he ISNT up because of work, he’s definitely being babied

He’s getting the midnight snacks. He’s getting the random bedtime stories, he’s getting cushioned in all the right pillows, and he even has the classic button up pjs to fit it!

He gave up his dignity a long time ago when he met you

This means he’s totally embracing the pampering 💀

Tuck him in, give his a goodnight smooch before he nocks out, and he’s all yours

But this doesn’t erase the fact that he’s still a little embarrassed

He adores you tho!! So he basically can’t deny you

He’s very grateful for the treatment and makes sure to stay awake as long as you do.

Probably treats you to lunch

His mama raised him well 😭💕

————————————

𝗦𝗹𝗲𝗲𝗽𝘆 𝗛𝗖

Like I said previously, if you pamper him, he’ll love you forever

His mother def approves

When are we scheduling the family reunion???

If YOURE the one who goes to bed before him…woo boy…

He almost cringes at himself for all the cheesy stuff he does

I said almost

Even though he’s turning as bright as a peach, he can’t really hold back his emotions when they’re on overdrive 😭

Hell nuzzle into you, comb your hair, and sometimes, if not mostly, he plays with your fingers

To him: embarrassing

To you: actions of a true jolly good best man

Has sleep ambiance music, and ONLY the ones with rain softly playing in the back

If you ever bought him a matching set of Jammie’s, he’s in love

Warm soothing drinks will get this boy to melt into your arms!!

He just wants to be held for a bit 😭 then he’ll get excited and want to hug you too

Goofy little Deucy TuT <3

10/10: I don’t make the rules around here. He’s the goodest man in this group (next to Jack ofc, we’ll get into that in a sec)

J. Howl

𝗟𝗮𝘁𝗲 𝗡𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁 𝗛𝗖

Is conflicted between keeping up his routine, and helping you

Then again, it’s you…

He’s running to ramshackle as we speak 🥰

If it’s homework your having trouble with, it’s no problem! He’ll grab some pillows and stay up as long as you need him to

If it’s the lack of sleep you’re struggling with.. I’m afraid he’s not very skilled in the matter

Will definitely do some research for you though. He’s dedicated to keeping you healthy and cared for despite your heavy workload.

Almost ends up being your pillow ( and Ik u know what pillows I’m talking abt🤭)

On the weekends, he’s less strict about his schedule. After he had gotten rid of his lone wolf attitude, he almost found it difficult to not stay up and goof with his buddies :)

You are no exception to this. He’s definitely more lax and is more likely to goof off with you as the evening gets later and later 😌

Will watch movies and shows from your world like Up, Over the Garden Wall, etc.

Definitely cries when carls wife dies. Firmly denies that ever happening to this day.

Is still a provider, so if you’re in need, he’ll help!

Getting cold? Gives you his biggest, warmest jacket (that you DEF didn’t steal from him :))

Getting bored? Let’s switch the channel. How about a bit of video games?

Feeling hungry? Is unboxing the brownie mix that was hidden behind the pounds of protein powder he keeps in ramshackle. Even then, he insists on doing the work for you. He wants you to be as comfortable as physically possible <3

As you chew on your freshly baked brownies, Jack is definitely contemplating how much space he has in his schedule to do this again

But when you lean into his collarbone and tell him he’s beautiful, he kind of just…reboots.

He’s definitely making more time for these sleepovers.

Nighty night Jack 😁

———————————

𝗦𝗹𝗲𝗲𝗽𝘆 𝗛𝗖

Don’t even get me started

I know he sleeps in only shorts cause it’s hot af in savanaclaw 😔

That being said, when he goes to ramshackle, he’s your own personal heater.

No need for a generator ☺️ you alr got one purring next to u (or snoozing? He’s not a cat…..but he sure acts like one when he’s tired)

Is against the idea of sleeping in his wolf form until you asked him.

The first time he did it, he was deep in the crush department with you, so how could he say no when you asked to nicely??He reluctantly transformed, and in came you, flooding into his soft fur. In jacks brain, he could keep his wolf form up until the next morning. No biggie !!

That was a lie

The next morning you were cuddling into this man’s deliciously defined Hawaiian bread style 6 pack

(Can’t even control yourself when ur asleep prefect 🤨??)

Thought he committed a sin or something

He just got tired and couldn’t keep his magic up long enough to stay fluffy 💔

Pls reassure him that it’s not his fault, tell him u had a nice nap, he’ll get over his mortification soon enough.

And that’s how me and ur father met 😄!!

All jokes aside, he’s for sure very affectionate with you when drowsy

As a beastman, he has a lot of siblings, and with younger siblings comes the hugs, and the bedtime stories, and sweet kisses goodnight!

Well he’s gotten so used to doing it for his siblings, that he’s gotten into the habit of doing the same to you :)

He’s overall a very caring lover when it comes time to sleep

He’s holding you, whispering affirmations into your ear, rubbing that one sore spot on your back

How’d you hit the jack-pot ?? (Pun intended)

Don’t feel like you have to repay him for the back rubs and hugs though, to him you’ve repaid enough !

Every hug, kiss, and smile you send his way has his tail wagging so hard he starts flying.

Also denies that, but whether or not he admits it is no concern of yours.

Overall you guys are just over here chilling

8/10 : 2 points off because he probably smells like protein powder…

E. Felmier

𝗟𝗮𝘁𝗲 𝗡𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁 𝗛𝗖

He is a grown ass kid acting like he’s 13

YEA he’s still a man…now stfu and lets sing California Girls 😡

So yea

He ISSSS technically breaking Vils bedtime regimen, but he can’t really be punished if he’s over at ramshackle 😄

Was and probably is still an avid Avril Lavigne fan, so expect to have yet another night of rest griped from u as you wordlessly mumble the lyrics to Sk8er Boi with a hyper Epel and a hair comb microphone :)

He rlly wanted to be her skater boy..

Anyhow, makes you go through the battle that is his skin care routine (bc rook would snitch in the shadows if he didn’t 🤨)

And you (un) surprisingly…enjoyed it?

😟

…

You must be a strong soldier…

Epel salutes to you

Other then the impromptu concert in the middle of the night, he’s pretty chill when he’s staying up.

Grim is kind of regretting giving you his consent to date Epel-

He’s probably wearing the ugliest set of pjs you’ve ever seen

He brought dad joke T-Shirts into a silk and satin pj fight 🙄

You and vil are perplexed at how he snuck out without the fine ass jamies Vil bought him.

Ig being in the dorm with the hottest dorm leader will do something to you 😔 (sorry, I’m projecting )

Will try and bake for you to show how independent he is, and almost sets the house on fire for the second time this week

Will watch some analog horror to set the mood, and manz has lost his sense of sight, hearing, taste, touch & smell after the shit he just watched 😟

Believe me!! He wants to be strong for you

Meanwhile you’re coming through his hair, calmly reassuring our wheat eating southern peach that no one’s under your bed that isn’t already grim or the ghosts.

Going back to the pjs..

The ugliest thing I’ve ever seen

Probably had someone print his favorite meme onto a shirt he never washes 😭

Or on the off chance, he may or may not be wearing matching onesies w/ you out of his own free will

In that case, cherish the moment while it lasts, cause it won’t ever get this good again ☺️

———————————

𝗦𝗹𝗲𝗲𝗽𝘆 𝗛𝗖

Snores loud af

Is a blanket hogger, so if you’re planning to sleep together, you have a better chance at sleeping in a freezer than suffering the cold next to him ☺️

Is also a bed hogger, and not by choice 😔

He’s trying so hard, believe me. He loves cuddling (& is always big spoon, you have no say in the matter), but you are guaranteed to meet the floor in the morning

I swear he’s trying not to 😭

Other then that, he’s a real sweet hugger, and an even sweeter partner :)

He says he doesn’t like doing all that skin care or hair care stuff, but will proudly wash your hair and scrub your face because he likes seeing you well :)

Definitely likes to pamper you by doing the little things

Brings you home goods from his family farm as you guys just giggle abt silly things. Is telling the whole family tree of how the sleepover went :))

Sooner or later you’ll get a call (unbeknownst to Epel) inviting you to his family’s next gathering. That’s how you know they’re already planning the wedding 😭

You will both brush or braid each others hair. I don’t make the rules

He loves threading his hands through your hair. To him, it’s more intimate than a kiss could ever be (not saying they he doesn’t love them tho, pls don’t take his kiss privileges away)

Will, and ik it sounds crazy, jump on ur roof to look at the stars.

He knows that u both know it looks clique or a bit cringe, but the experience is sweet and something he’ll never forget

Remembers eating the baked goods he almost burnt with you, talking about whatever comes to mind. Is very fond of the memory :)

In the morning, he has you swear that everything that happened at ramshackle will not be heard by Vil or Rook

He’s just trying to survive y/n 😔

7/10: he’s better than ace, but he put you under a lot of pressure memorizing those Avril Lavigne lyrics

S. Zigvolt

𝗟𝗮𝘁𝗲 𝗡𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁 𝗛𝗖

He doesn’t sleep

Is too busy dusting his malleus painting :)

Feeling like he also has dragon or bolt pj’s?

If not any of the two, he wears a traditional night gown

I see we’re getting studious up in here 🤨‼️

I imagine sebek being extremely embarrassed when you proposed a sleepover

He thinks it’s marriage y’all, give him a sec.

Sees you do sleepovers with the others and gets sad ):(

Now he’s the one inviting you

Is super giddy but doesn’t want to seem to excited

(I thought we were dating, what’s with the reactions bae 😟)

At first he finds it inappropriate to even sleep in the same bed, but like I said, he gets lonely man </3

So a minute later he’s staring at your rolled up side hoping you get the memo T_T

Ofc you do, and he can get the attention he deserves 💪☺️(yes white boy, yess!!)

Being half fae half human, he understands the idea of a sleepover, but not much of what to do in one, so you’re gonna have to lead this one y/n :/

While he’s bound by his own set of rules and limitations, he’s surprisingly open to trying out new things with you !

So here comes you, introducing him to the classic sob story movies from your world, making rainbow loom bracelets to pass the time while your homemade pizza is cooking

When you get over the whole Malleus fixation, he’s actually very domestic :)

Takes care of his room to make you as comfortable as possible.

Also a pamperer, but in the more reserved embarrassed way

Will cry while watching the Notebook

*Blows aesthetically into a lace handkerchief*

Rages at the Titanic

(S: There was room for both of them on that raft?!

y/n: yes- but that’s just how the story goes seb-

S:??!?!.@$! )

Has never touched a spatula in his life

All the cooking and baking is helped out tremendously by you

Enjoys it quite a bit! (Don’t let Lils find out, he’ll get depressed 😔)

Is tuckered out after all of the fun though

After dark, he turns into mush in your hands. Practically a cat from how he rubs his head and thumb over you

———————————

𝗦𝗹𝗲𝗲𝗽𝘆 𝗛𝗖

Is a stiff hugger in bed

He’s not the best in affection, but you best believe he’s trying his best 😭

Tbh, his cuddles are more protective than comfortable

I’m sure he’s caging you between the mattress to make sure you don’t get stolen or something 💔

He has good intentions tho, I swear ToT!!

Literally scrambles out of the bed when you twirl your fingers through his hair

Thought you were trying to mess with him, but the situation quickly comes to one of learning when you reveal your true intentions of the endearing act

Tries it for himself. Is infatuated with it.

He’s playing with your hair in the shower, when you study, when you need to fall asleep faster. He’s gotten addicted to the affection. That being said, he becomes shy, and a bit defiant once you start doing it. He’s too prideful to let you see this soft side of him (were you not cuddling to my side in the last paragraph seb 😔??)

You just have to rub a certain spot on his head to earn a blush. I’m telling you, cat behavior !!

He’ll sleep calmly, and ever so softly whispers a thank you into your ear.

We all know he’s a man of huge stature, so he’s practically cradling you into his chest

As he’s sleeping, you can make out some words from his sleep talking, as well as the soft and warm breaths he takes near the nape of your neck

Rub his back. He’s fast asleep.

Is rolling with joy at the affection he is receiving.

Will he tell you that? No, but at this point in time you fully understand what he’s feeling, so hess. not going to try to

The aftermath has you waking up on top of the green eyed boy (nice Sebek!), but your awoken by that Briar Valley Anthem (boy what)

Thank god it’s the weekend! He’s definitely not letting go of his grasp on you

As we speak, he’s glaring at his phone, alarm still blaring through the room.

(Soft seb supremacy whaaaat😭‼️‼️)

Anyways 9/10: point taken off because he has the Briar Vally anthem as his morning alarm 😭

☆*:.｡. .｡.:*☆*:.。.☆*:.｡. ☆*:.｡. ☆*:.｡. ☆*:.｡. ☆*:.｡.

A/N: Aaaah. As I’m posting this, it is 10:20, so don’t cancel me 😔

I’m hoping to make more of these, but seeing how long they took me to write, I’m not too sure if it’ll be consistent😅

And before some of you come after me, I’m sorry to all you Ace and Deuce fans out there,

ik I made theirs extremely short and brainrotted on the rest. Forgive me!!

If there are any grammar or spelling mistakes, or just things you think I should add, feel free to tell me :)

Have a wonderful day readers <3

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its-been-rose · 8 hours

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Honestly, i always love myself a good messed up slasher. Especially when they work in pairs (Scream, anyone?)

But when it gets to the story of Killer Frequency, I always just keep wanting to pull Marie aside and go "Yoooooou! Put that boy through so much trauma! And then JUMPED?!"

And like in your art, I doubt this is just a spur of the moment thing, like she's been training for this! Imagine as a young child waking up and your mother teaches you to whistle, not because it's a fun little skill but bc you're gonna use it to terrorize then murder people with.

You are compared to a father you've never even met and somewhat care but also don't care for because it's an image presented to you via your mother who you love so much you'd do anything for.

You are taught to use a knife, probably. Something just tells me this isn't their first instance of killing someone, especially Marie. I mean do you remember Mrs. Loomis in Scream 2 when Randy is talking shit and she MAIMS him? That's Marie all the way.

There's just... so much to say about Marie. Like what was she even planning to do after this fact?

THISSS!!! ALL OF THIS!!!!

I don’t think this was the intention, but her jumping off Whistling Point at the end seemed to me like it was something she’d planned the entire time, like she’d planned it to be a murder-suicide from the get go. I think in reality it was probably just a very serendipitous coincidence that’s where her running from the cops took her and she took the easy way out due to the convenience. I’m just a sucker for drama and having her basically planning a 20-year long suicide plan is pretty dark.

But either way, she completely threw Henry to the wolves. Obviously she told him to run but what parent wouldn’t be like “don’t go after him he had nothing to do with it it’s me you want”??? Like girl you’re just gonna orphan your son?? Who looked up to you so?

I do not doubt for a single second that she raised Henry for that night and that night alone. Literally nothing else mattered. She absolutely screwed him over and let herself believe she was doing the right thing. If you think about the game for more than five seconds the real tragedy becomes obvious.

I totally agree with you that Henry did it less because he loved his father and wanted revenge for his death but more because he loved his mother who loved his father and wanted to do right by her. Like some of my own relatives passed away before I was born, and I was told stories about them, but I don’t feel a connection to them at all. I feel connected to how my parents felt about them. Like one of my parents lost their brother (my uncle) but i feel worse for them losing their sibling than i do for myself losing an uncle, if that makes sense. I can definitely see Henry thinking something along the lines of “yeah my dad was killed and it sucks and it’s not fair I never got to meet him, but look what his death did to my mom, it destroyed her, and it’s all their fault she’s been miserable for 19 years”

Yeah, Marie taught him, raised him, to be this. It should be a parent’s worst nightmare for their kid to turn into a monster, but she encouraged it. Completely unfair. And yeah I mean we know from Clive’s tapes that Whistling Night wasn’t their first foray into murder. They’d been chasing down stragglers for a while before then, could have been anywhere from months to weeks to days before.

As for what her plan was after the fact… I don’t think she had one, to be perfectly honest. This was all that mattered. I mean like- she even revealed her identity and the identity of her son ON AIR, so it would be way harder to go into hiding anyway. To me that says she didn’t really plan ahead. Just be perpetually on the run?

#killer frequency #marie campbell #henry barrow #text post #gushing #asks #send asks #I love yapping #especially about these tragic dingdongs

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mrsnancywheeler · 2 months

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HEAR ME OUT

Because why is Finnick and his sweet girl’s teenage love lowkey ‘All Too Well’ coded?

“I walked through the door with you, the air was cold”

So to me this is when Finnick realised he had to end things with his sweet girl. The air of their relationship was warm and cosy, but now it’s cold and lifeless after Snow had left his effect. Finnick wasn’t the only one who felt the cold, reader did too :( she knew something was up when the warmth that Finnick usually radiated was now turned to ice.

“And I know it's long gone and that magic's not here no more And I might be okay but I'm not fine at all”

This is both Finnick and his sweet girl still trying to come to terms that it’s over, even years after it happened. They both act okay around their friends and to the public eye, but in reality they aren’t fine at all. They’re broken without eachother because they’re literally endgame. Finnick and his sweet girl are the definition of ‘right person, wrong time’.

“'Cause there we are again on that little town street You almost ran the red 'cause you were lookin' over at me”

SYMBOLISM. Finnick literally almost ran the red light with Snow and the Capitol because he was too focused on his sweet girl. He was so caught up in her that he didn’t realise the green light of the Capitol’s approval slowly turning yellow to red.

“You told me 'bout your past thinking your future was me”

tears are falling. He told his sweet girl everything about his past (except the whole selling part). He told her because he knew his future was with her, except Snow took that knowledge and stomped the fuck out of it.

“And I know it's long gone and there was nothing else I could do And I forget about you long enough to forget why I needed to”

They were both so powerless in their situation, there was nothing either of them could do. Finnick’s sweet girl wanted to forget about him, but at the same time she didn’t. She’d still stare longingly at him while forgetting that if she doesn’t forget about him, the pain will only come back harder, especially when she sees him with other girls who desperately wish for him to look at them the same way he looks at his sweet girl😭

“And maybe we got lost in translation Maybe I asked for too much But maybe this thing was a masterpiece 'til you tore it all up”

sweet girl’s inner monologue after their break up. She was genuinely questioning if she did ask for too much, but also questioning why Finnick would say so many things about her to his friends if he was really trying to protect her. Their love was genuinely a masterpiece, they’re literally soulmates, even their break up was relatively peaceful until Finnick decided to break his sweet girl even more with his words.

Anyway that’s it, have a good day pookie!

-🌺anon

especially bc they never thought they were gonna get to be together again so it was like their story abruptly ended with so much pining left for one another

Snow literally always ruins everything, all the sweet, innocent teenage love they've had for each other he tears it away. the air is warm between them because they balance each other, finnick is always hot, she is always cold, so together they make a perfect cozy warmth. the very nature of their body temperatures working with the others is stripped away when snow leaves no choice except to be cold, withdrawn.

the enchantment they used to find in one another can only be replicated in longing glances, gifts she doesn't know he gave, and it can't be done with anyone else. reader still lives her life, she has friends even if she has less social interaction, she's still herself, but she's so broken on the inside, longing for him back. and he's kept his persona as well as he can but he's desperate for her again.

YES, you're so right. like people notice when he's supposed to be focused on them that his mind is elsewhere, he's so occupied thinking about getting home to his sweet girl and it causes trouble. snow has to strike fear into him to cause him to be as he once was.

they were so comfortable with each other, at home, fated to be one, and yet they were convinced that now it could never be. that the whole life where the promised to be the things that their past had lacked would never happen.

when he said that he couldn't explain why, but he did it to protect her, she accepted it because she believed him, she trusted him. and now she's been ripped of the warmth she once had. the pain is definitely indescribable everytime she sees him with other girls at the market or the rumours about him being player. she doesn't want to be jealous of them getting to feel his arm around them, but she does, and tries to make him feel the same which she does successfuly. but neither fill the void of needed to be with each other

when he said he wanted to protect her that's exactly what she heard, but suddenly that wasn't the story. suddenly she was pushy, clingy, needy and it was mind boggling to hear the new narrative he was weaving. was he just too kind to say it to her face so he'd left first? but they're so insanely meant to be, it felt so right so it doesn't make sense.

some choice lines I also think hold some relevance to their story

"and you call me up again just to break me like a promise, so causally cruel in the name of being honest."

makes me think of what readers thought process may have been like in the newest chapter of the river

"time won't fly, it's like I'm paralyzed by it. I'd like to be old self again,but I'm still trying to find it"

post-games behavior fr

"and did the twin flame paint you blue? just between us did the love affair maim you too? cause in this city's barren cold, I still remember the first fall of snow and how it glistened as it fell, I remember it all too well. "

I don't feel like that needs an explanation

love you pookie, you too 💋💋💋

#wanda 💋#finnick odair x reader #the lakes #the river #🌺 anon

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claudiajcregg · 2 months

Text

Tell Other People About Your WIPs

make a list of all your WIPs with a brief description of each and then people can ask you questions about them and then tag other people.

Tagged by both @onekisstotakewithme and @miabicicletta 💜💜💜 Thank you, guys <3 I don't know who to tag that hasn't been tagged already. Interested? Tag, you're it! :) (Please do know that there are no set sections. Pick whatever you want. I went the deranged route.)

I have an outdated WIP list, and many others unaccounted for. This is just a selection of stuff I could see myself posting or editing/retooling to write something new. I love talking about my WIPs, about as much as I hate being perceived because they are not remotely interesting. (I also love knowing which ones people are interested in! I have an incentive to work on them!) (Instead of snippets, part of my feedback loop is sending actual rough drafts to get a sense of whether it's worth working on more.)

Multichapters, different levels of completion.

S5 Pregnancy AU. My main WIP. Can you believe I’ve had this idea for a year… almost to the day? I’ve been stuck since November bc I don’t know how I want this one to end, beyond a birth. (As I’ve mentioned in the past, I feel like this has legs to become a fluffy universe. I have ideas! Timelines!) Gist of it: CJ gets pregnant circa Zooey's kidnapping. How does it change S5? It's less angsty than you think.

Campaign bars, aka campaign conversations sometimes happened at bars in the 1998 campaign. Fun stuff. I need to pick it right back.

What Once Was Ours or the IM AU (2021), aka IM ends with a breakup. Not a WIP. Not a UFO. A secret third thing. (“Finished” but not edited, and I’m doubtful people would be interested. Probably bc of some bittersweet ~memories~ attached to it. I mean, I shared a third of it to discord and people couldn’t care less, at least after a while. Now, better IM AUs are being posted these days; I'm not in a rush.) 33 chapters. 150k words. I do reread it every once in a while, and I cannot put it down. But its 'age' takes me aback. If things had been different, I'd have posted this in H2 2021/Q1 2022 (or even the planned Q2-3 2021). But alas.

The “Almost Ready, question mark” Category

Another SVD prompt meme claim: what if CJ has the crush first. The thing is, I tend to write her as having a relatively obvious crush on him at first until something makes her wise up. So this is just some ridiculous, post-first-meeting thoughts. Most of it was written in one sitting! It kinda fits with something in the campaign bars fic, too.

Post birth, hospital story: A couple of hours after their bb girl is born. Pure fluff. Recently reworked it to make it less wordy. Still failed, but it’s better focused now.

Many ficlets – the few I did post on Tumblr that haven’t been posted to the story I’m collecting them in, plus a couple more. I'm thinking the ice skating one, Jan 22, a few post-eps I wrote last year, etc.

Ambitious Projects I don't think are happening right away (or ever), but probably have a detailed outline somewhere

(I put this up instead of last, because the next category has faves, but it's also a long one.)

Danny is back a bit earlier on s7. Toby leaks (or tries to leak? I always wavered) the shuttle to him, as he and CJ are getting closer.

Simon lives. How does his relationship with CJ evolve post-honeymoon phase? What is it like when Danny returns?

You’ve got mail AU. This outline had two ways the climax could go. I had fun.

Epistolary collab (?) fic. Probably an X + 1 fic. The only one with nothing written; don’t rule out writing it individually at some point.

And because this is so long already (but not as long as it could be)… A few more under the cut – more "I just want to make sure I like them" and "this meme reminded me I meant to pick those back up." And they are still not all. (How do you summarize seven years of writing?? I've only posted 20-something of them, lol.)

“Almost Ready (but I feel like I want to make changes to them) (might just redo them altogether)”

Haunted by the Notion, 2007 edition. My beta Ruth suggested this when she edited the other story, and I wrote it around then. It’s another Christmas dinner at Filomena, and, eight years later, things are different. I feel like it hits expected beats, and is just missing some oomph. Maybe. (As much as I do like it, half tempted to make it 2009. Or later.)

Heaven’s here…: A interrupted proposal. I’ve written many proposals over the years, and I love toying with different ideas and setups. Danny takes the lead here, but I’ve been intrigued by the idea of having CJ do the final twist.

5 to 6 am 'me' time. Another story inspired by last year’s rewatch that I wrote right at the start of it (so Jan 2023?). It has five short parts with five different years of what CJ describes in the pilot as her “me time.” This is one when I think one per year would be fun, but I don’t want to repeat myself.

One bed, “sexy” edition. An AU to a sort of AU (one of the drabbles from this summer) and… it's what it says on the tin. The world does not need to read my attempts at smut. If I didn’t put it in the previous category, it’s because I am not sure that I want to post it. (All the previous attempts are locked somewhere; unfortunately, someone loves this one and noticed when I tried to do that, lol.)

First baby kick: I remember writing this while in grad school (so, late 2017? First half of 2018) but I lost it, along other fic, when my laptop had to be reset because I used Bear to write back then, but didn’t have sync across devices. I rewrote it, and I feel like it's not the same, but still. It's sweet! Includes: Danny talking to the baby, domestic fluff, and… baby kicks!

“This meme reminded me they exist and I love them, so don't be surprised if they are posted before anything in a previous category”

(Lbr, if I added something about them in this post at all, it’s because they sparked some memory.)

Mosaic broken hearts: CJ, circa S4, jealousy. Prompted by a former fandom friend, back in my productive era (first half of 2021; before that friend just ghosted me.)

I can’t believe I captured your heart (pancake breakfast, three words and eight letters). For a while there, I edited it so much but then I fell off. iirc, it was part of some morning-related prompts I saw around that I tried to fulfill in 2018? 2019? And they had like internal progression. But this one was the best of the 3-4, and I kept tweaking it.

Green light of forgiveness (IM-ish) — there are many other IM/IM-Tomorrow snippets I’ve written over the years. I’m not sure if this one makes much sense, but I liked it enough.

Distance — I recall liking this one! Might have to bump it up. CJ is in Africa, Danny is at the Farm and sulking because they left off on some sort of argument. There is some Danny-Abbey friendship goodness here. I even have a second file that is “Distance - shorter version (it’s not)”

Danny writes fiction, shows it to CJ during her pregnancy and she’s into it. Technically written. I would probably try to take another stab at it. Third time might be the charm?

San Andreo phone call/fallout from ID. I just had the idea of CJ reaching out once things calm down. This is one of those fics I’ve written a version of every year or so, but I think there was one I liked quite a bit.

Terrible taste in men — a run-in with an OC ex of CJ. It was so dumb.

Fka Impatience - actually beta’d three years ago (by that fandom friend I've mentioned twice before… actually, three times) and “done”. I just think I’d change so much about it these days. It started being something else but ended up being a CJ-Toby friendship story in which they have lunch and catch up. But I would want to rewrite most of it now, and not just because it’s from like… 2019 (but finished in 2021).

I forgot this one initially! he's passing by, rare as the comet in my sky - 2? 3? times CJ thinks she sees Danny somewhere, and one time she does. (Which tried to work in the 'I remember shunning you' line.) I even wrote some sort of sequel later! Probably useless.

I said I would post a lightning round with fics that are either also done but not ready for me to mention them, or just… not done at all. The length of this post and how much I've spent on it is embarrassing. To give a general overview: in line with the nonsense I've been mentioning, includes phone calls at the end of S7, also a few friendship-focused fics around that time, too; present-day stuff; anniversaries; Hollis fundraisers; weddings; many ficlets, introspective thoughts, a “yes day” fic that's super sweet but needs better dares, the third memoir idea (the original one!!!!) that I had three years ago… And those are mostly the ones I had preselected, lol.

If you're interested, I can screenshoot this part in the notes app if you message me!

Anyway, this is embarrassing, and the worst part is that it's not all. fml.

#tell other people about your wips #wip memes #my writing #should I even tag this with the show or the pairing?????#long post

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orchidsangel · 3 months

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okay so i’m usually more of a silent follower (i’ve only like sent one ask ever) but i kinda love your posts/talks about things that you love (even if it’s not necessarily something i care about,,i just love it when people talk about their interests it’s amazing),, so i’m kinda curious about why do you think sos should have won over midnights,,, not saying that sos is bad or anything i actually love the album and sza but i was rooting for midnights honestly and personally think it deserves the title for many reasons,,, like i’m NOT saying that sos didn’t deserve to be aoty on the contrary, all the albums that were nominated are amazing and all had their big impact and the title is very subjective and ngl, this is one of those years where the nominees are all so good it’s actually quite a tough competition to choose between, but personally i found that midnights deserved it the most so i’m actually really curious to know your opinion on why sos should have gotten it

(i’ve already seen so much discourse about this for the past week on twitter but obviously. it’s twitter. so they don’t have any valable reasons except just pure hatred, misogyny, slut shaming and obviously racism)

Okay, so first off, thank you for sending in this ask and allowing me to speak about something I care about!! Second of all, when you added racism in the "don't have any valuable reasons section" what did you mean by that? I'm not coming for you or anything. I'm just curious if you meant racism towards Taylor or if you mean racism towards SZA.

anyways, now for my thoughts.

So, while I obviously agree that SOS is a great album, the part I disagree with is Midnights being a good album. I don't like it; I never did, and I probably never will. And this isn't me being a Taylor hater; I am a Taylor Swift enjoyer and have sat down and listened to a few of her albums. While none of them absolutely stunned me, I do think she's an overall good musician and can make a relatively good body of work. Midnights is a snoozefest. It's boring and doesn't hold a candle to the rest of her discography, which I feel fine saying because I know there are a significant amount of swifties and non-swifties alike that agree.

To me, midnights is nothing special, and most of the songs blend together. It's not completely bad, though; it has its good moments, but the many cons, i.e., boring instrumentals, mediocre lyrics, no super deep meanings, etc. outweigh the very few pros, i.e., Snow On The Beach ft. Lana Del Rey, but more importantly, Snow On The Beach ft. more Lana del Rey. And I just can't get behind Midnight's winning album of the year after being the pinnacle of mediocrity.

Now, if you wanna talk about impact, let's talk about impact. Midnights broke tons of records, most notably taking up all ten top spots on the Billboard Hot 100 chart, a feat that no other artist has managed to accomplish. But that wasn't because the album was good or because the general public was tuned in; it's because of streaming culture, because, like most fandoms these days, swifties are rabid and reaching for the charts. That, combined with the sheer size of Taylor Swift's fanbase, means that the album was bound to do well regardless of whether it was good or not.

SOS, on the other hand, obviously didn't chart nearly as well as midnights (although it definitely did chart, like, let's get that straight bc Snooze didn't leave the chart at all last year). But that doesn't automatically mean that it was less impactful, because charts aren't that reliable these days so you have to find other means of calculating impact, and this is when we turn to social media.

(I'll be using tiktok for reference as I feel that since the app relies on music as its #1 source of content, that's the best representation for my argument)

So I'm an avid TikTok user, chronically online, way too invested in drama that doesn't involve me, a loser, blah blah blah whatever, who cares. The point is that I spend enough time on TikTok to be able to observe many different trends going on at the same time and their musical origins. There are so. many. songs. on SOS that trended on tiktok. You could not escape SZA on that app, not even if you wanted to.

Kill Bill, Seek & Destroy, Low, Blind, Snooze, Ghost in the Machine, Shirt, I Hate U, Good Days, etc.

All songs that I've heard on TikTok at one point or another, some of them having their own designated trends to go along with certain lines, and I'm sure there's more I missed.

This specific point means so much to me because I need you to understand that I didn't listen to SOS in full until WAY into 2023 (the album came out in 2022 for reference), and each track was so familiar because I had already heard so many of them on TikTok.

Now, I'm not saying that there weren't any songs on midnights that trended on TikTok. Obviously, there were. i.e., Karma, bejeweled, Midnight Rain, that one part in The Great War, etc., but when I say that most of the songs from Midnights that trended on TikTok were pretty much always used in the context of Taylor Swift, I mean that. I cannot stress this enough. If there was a song from Midnights playing in the video, then I can guarantee that Taylor was being mentioned in that same video, whether it be the eras tour, speculation about her and Joe Alwyn's breakup, her and Travis Kelce, speculation about which Taylor's version album was coming out next, or literally anything pertaining to her at all.

You might think that this is a stupid point, but to me, it's a good example of the fact that it wasn't an album the general public was interested in. And I think for an award like Album of the Year at the Grammys, the album in question should be one that is either objectively good, incredibly poetic, and thoughtful with a deep message, or beloved by the general public, and midnights wasn't any of those.

As for the misogyny and slutshaming, I'd never in a million years agree with that and don't condone that by any means. Pure hatred, if unwarranted, isn't something I really care about either because I'm a hater at my core and have a lot of one-sided beef with people who don't know me. But I will say that most people I know who don't like Taylor Swift do actually have one or two valid reasons. It's not that hard to find them, what with white feminism, not using her platform for good, dating a known racist, and committing ecological warfare, amongst other things.

If the racism you're referring to is in regards to people bringing up her privilege as a white woman, and it bothers you that people are bringing it up, then I'm sorry, but I'm not the person you want to talk to about that because I won't agree. The Grammys have a history of snubbing black and POC artists in general to favor their white counterparts; in fact, the entire music industry has a history of it, and this situation isn't any different in my eyes.

Anyway, that's most of all I have to say. Thank you for asking again, I'd love to hear why you thought Midnights should have won.

#☆ messages from friends ☆#☆ ro's headphones ☆

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jessicalprice · 1 year

Text

there’s nothing wrong with newness

(reposted, with additions, from Twitter)

I think a lot of neo-paganism would be a lot healthier (and a lot less vulnerable to white supremacist influences) if everyone got more comfortable with the "neo" part of it. There's nothing wrong with creating new traditions, and even being inspired by past ones.

Before I get into what I’m talking about, I want to quote some of a brilliant thread by Dr. Sarah Taber:

looking back through europe's pre/history is really interesting, it's just population replacement after population replacement. there's a REASON we have no idea what the Lascaux cave art is about, for example. The cultures who made that p much disappeared 3+ invasions ago.

some places have very old oral histories: Aboriginal Australians have place-names that clearly refer to different sea levels, Haudenosaunee accounts tell of receding glaciers, etc. Most of Europe doesn't have that! Indo-European traditions are really, really recent.

The oldest oral tradition we got is fairy tales. The oldest one (the smith & the devil) goes back ~4K years. Sounds super old! Until you contrast it to Haudenosaunee receding-glacier histories (10-15K yrs) or Aboriginal Australian place names (up to 20-40K years old).

We're still learning a lot about what Indo-European society was all about & it's really hard to do w/out running face-first into a lot of Race Science but it's the base layer for the vast majority of Europe's "traditional cultures." 1 single invasion, relatively recent.

It's why Europe has way less linguistic diversity than p much anywhere else in the world! Very recent cultural resurfacing on most of the continent! And the folks who did it were militarized, hierarchical, & focused on male-owned property. That's what we're working with lol...

Europe's past has cool stuff like Stonehenge, Cucuteni-Trypillia longhouse culture, cave art, etc! And it's very important to remember they have basically nothing to do w the people who live there now. : / We have just some of their genes & ~none of their stories.

We can't "reclaim" those cultures bc they aren't our ancestors in any sense of a continuing tradition. Could we try? Sure! But at that point we're just making shit up & appropriating someone else's culture. And they're not even there to correct you when you get it wrong.

There’s a reason that there’s so much overlap between people interested in “reclaiming” pre-Christian European traditions and white supremacists/neo-Nazis.

anyway this has been a super long text wall but tl;dr there's a REASON fascination with pre-medieval Europe is associated with militant dudes who wanna wipe out other people. that's what our ancestors were up to going WAY back.

Once you start "reconnecting" that's the first thing you learn. : / It ain't all maypoles & herbs & shit. so like, associating pre-christian Europe with cultures of invasion & genocide is an accurate understanding of the situation. I shan't make fun of ppl for seeing it lol

I’ll reiterate again: there’s nothing wrong with your neopaganism leaning into the neo part.

A note about appropriation

It’s really trendy right now to claim that European Christians “appropriated” pre-Christian European traditions, and wow, no.

It really trivializes actual appropriation by colonizing cultures from the cultures that they occupy, oppress, and even genocide to equate the two.

The stuff that usually gets cited as “appropriation” of European pagan ritual is stuff like Christmas trees, Saturnalia -> Christmas, etc.

The thing is, it was not appropriation for European peoples to continue to practice their own traditions after converting to Christianity. A pagan Roman continuing to engage in Roman Saturnalia rituals after becoming a Christian is not appropriating anything. A Germanic pagan continuing to engage in winter traditions around decorating trees after becoming a Germanic Christian (which, incidentally, is first really documented in the 16th century, long after Europe was thoroughly Christianized, but for the sake of argument...) is not appropriating anything. You can’t appropriate from yourself.

(And no, most non-European Christians also aren’t “appropriating” European traditions by practicing them as Christian traditions--when you’ve been colonized, you are not “appropriating” anything by assimilating into the colonizing culture. Power relations matter.)

That is very much not the same as white people of European Christian descent practicing elements of Native, Indigenous, Aboriginal, Hindu, Jewish, etc. traditions when the people from those cultures A) have not invited them to do so, B) are often penalized for practicing their own traditions, and C) practice those traditions within the context of an entire culture, unlike the outsiders picking and choosing elements like they’re digging through a toybox.

Moreover, as Dr. Taber notes, there’s no direct link to those cultures to use to “reclaim” their traditions...

...except, for “newer” (as in pre-medieval) traditions that are preserved through Christianity. Where elements of those pre-Christian European traditions were preserved, they were almost always preserved by Christian Europeans. I’m no fan of Christianity, but European Christians actually have as much--if not more--of a claim to legitimacy in practicing those traditions than neo-pagans.

And not facing up to this leads a lot of neo-pagans (and even non-neo-pagan atheists from Christian backgrounds who like complaining about how Christians appropriated all kinds of European pagan traditions) very close to some white supremacist/Nazi narratives.

Because it usually turns on a characterization of Christianity as a foreign religion forced on innocent European pagans. (Never mind that the Christianization of Europe wasn’t anywhere near universally violent or coercive--Christians tended to save their swordpoint conversions for other continents. That, however, is a whole different post.)

So at that point, you have to ask “foreign to where?” Christianity as we know it developed into an actual religion in Roman-controlled areas. So it wasn’t exactly “foreign” to Europe. It was home-grown.

And the idea of Christianity as a religion “foreign” to Europe, forced upon Europeans by... whom? Other Europeans, actually, but that doesn’t fit the foreigner narrative.

Well, the very easy place to go is that it’s a corrupt, foreign Middle Eastern religion that was forced upon Europeans. And from there, it’s another easy step to This Is The Jews’ Fault. There’s a reason there’s a lot of antisemitic heathenry out there.

(We, for the record, are a non-evangelizing culture with closed practices. We aren’t trying to get you to convert to Judaism. In fact, we traditionally make it hard to convert to Judaism, because we believe y’all can have your own relationship to the Absolute.)

Some ugly history we should talk about

So back to the beginning of this post:

There's nothing wrong with creating new traditions, and even being inspired by past ones.

Like, I think that for the most part, the impetus behind most attempts to create neopagan practices, traditions, communities, etc. are really positive, especially when they're earth-focused. We're killing the planet, and if more people worshiping it helps turn that around, A+.

But like many people with a lot more expertise than me have pointed out (especially Indigenous people), a lot of neopaganism is suuuuuuper appropriative, and a lot of times the appropriation gets hand-waved away or justified by either claiming it's done respectfully or claiming that it's not harmful because, as opposed to Christianity, neopaganism is small and well-intentioned and all that.

Gd hippies, again

Generally, we're not talking about how much of this stuff was started by hippies--whom most contemporary Americans tend to think of as perhaps a bit silly, but not harmful--and the hippies were like POSTER CHILDREN for "the cool things in other cultures should belong to us." Like, they wrapped it up in a lot of Love And Universal Brotherhood language, and I guess since Christianity does the same with its colonialism, everyone was largely like "yup, that must be their motivation, love and peace, yo."

But if you have ever seen a hippie get called on appropriating Native stuff, for example, most of the time the Love And Universal Brotherhood shit goes right out the window and you end up with the Kareniest Karen you ever did see because there's a LOT of colonialism in there.

And also, fuck the Victorians

And what we also don't generally talk about is how much Victorian occultism got filtered through hippie New Age stuff into many forms of modern neopaganism. Like Gardner was inspired by the Rosicrucians and influenced by Crowley. (This might get boring, but I spent a lot of time flirting with neopaganism in college, especially Dianic and Celtic Wicca, and as is my wont with almost everything I get passionately interested in, I rabbitholed HARD on "how did this come to be the way it is?")

Any time I start following a thread through the labyrinth of history and I end up in Victorian occultism, I start to get really, really nervous. Most of the underlying assumptions there are ugly as hell, and the number of things in contemporary society it influenced are myriad and that influence is, often, unacknowledged.

So the Victorians got Very Into Archaeology, and were fascinated by ancient civilizations like those in Egypt (modern writers refer to Victorian "Egyptomania"), the Near East, China, and India. And on one hand, they loved the aesthetics and the sheer ancientness and believed that these cultures had a treasure trove of good things waiting to be "discovered" by white people. On the other hand, they got really insecure, because none of these sophisticated ancient societies were in Europe. (I go into a lot more detail about this in a series of posts about bad archaeology and the Minoans.)

So they became obsessed with discovering some sort of ancient European society, first to rival these civilizations and then to have taught/inspired/built them, and you get things like basically making up a sophisticated Minoan society that "predates" Near Eastern ones. You also get things like Atlantis as the progenitor civilization of every major world civilization, and a lot of similar theories. The descendants of these theories are things like Ancient Aliens conspiracy theories.

They all boil down to "there's no way brown people could have come up with all this tech/civilization/literature/etc. before white people so the explanation is either Ancient White Superpeople or aliens." And at the root of this is trying to prove that if other cultures have stuff white people like, it must rightfully belong to white people now because it must have originally belonged to white people.

And one of the ways that this interacted with Victorian Christianity--that it was made acceptable in a strongly Christian society--was to posit that all ancient civilizations were actually monotheistic. They just worshiped different "faces" of God. So you could be into occultism and invoke Isis and all that shit and still go to your Christian gentlemen’s club.

Fuck the Romantics, too

And I'm not going to go into it here because I already did in the Minoan posts, but parallel to the interaction with Christianity and the assumption of monotheism was interaction with the Romanticism of the time, which resulted in positing some sort of ur-Goddess worship.

None of this, incidentally, was based on actual evidence. The idea that all of Europe once followed one universal, matriarchal goddess religion was a theory that a random judge was like, "hey, this feels like it makes sense to me" and everyone was like "yup, let's run with it." And so they "reconstructed" a lot of pre-Christian religion based mostly on Romanticism and insecurity about advances in European civilization coming from the Near East.

And I could do a whole thread about how this stuff prepped a lot of Victorian Europeans and Americans to listen to the Nazis.

If you're grappling with your feelings of inferiority about how what you consider Civilization mostly came out of the Near East, not Europe, at some point you have to grapple with the role of Christianity in all that.

And the thing is, Christianity is actually NOT a Near Eastern religion (as noted above). It may have gotten started by Jewish followers of a Jewish teacher, but as soon as it actually started becoming a separate religion, it was centered in Rome (both the city and the empire). But if you're attempting to reconstruct European paganism to which you have no direct links (other than, perhaps, some traditions filtered through Christianity) because it was wiped out by Christianity, and you want to feel superior to Middle Easterners, well, the obvious move is to Blame The Jews. So Christianity becomes a Jewish religion forced on Europeans and I guess we'll just be vague about who was doing the forcing so we don't have to treat it as Europeans continuing to beat each other up. From there, it’s a direct line to the Nazis’ “Positive Christianity.”

The “neo-” part is great, actually

To get back to the original point, most neo-pagans are lovely people and I consider them more likely to be fellow travelers than I do most Christians. HOWEVER, insistence that they're continuing ancient European traditions is A) not true, and B) based in some bad shit.

And downplaying the "neo" part of neo-paganism can help create a hospitable environment for white supremacist attitudes and ideas. Again: there's nothing wrong, inferior, or illegitimate about creating new traditions, and being *inspired* by whatever you can learn of older ones.

But even among neo-pagans who don't get seduced by (organized) white supremacist thinking, I do see a lot of attitudes that are kind of similar to those of New Atheists in regard to "organized religion," and Judaism and Islam (generally under the heading of "Abrahamic religion").

(I've done whole threads about how the term "Judeo-Christian" exists almost solely to let Christians erase/co-opt Judaism and be Islamophobic, and I should do one about how "Abrahamic religions" often serves as a cover for displacing anger at Christianity onto Judaism and Islam.)

And here's the thing: adherents of pretty much every belief system in America that is mostly made up of white people have a LOT of deconstruction to do.

Christians need to deconstruct the ways Christianity has animated and benefited from colonialism, white supremacy, antisemitism.

People who've left Christianity need to deconstruct how they still benefit from Christian hegemony and those things.

White Jews need to deconstruct how Jewish whiteness was built on anti-Blackness, and how we often use the conditional nature of Jewish whiteness as a shield against having to grapple with our own internalized white supremacy or acknowledge our white privilege.

I want to return to that "people who leave Christianity" and the deconstruction that needs to happen there, because I think it explains a lot of the parallel attitudes (and vulnerability to white supremacy) in neopagan and New Atheist circles.

Just ceasing to believe in the tenets of Christianity doesn't automatically deconstruct the attitudes, beliefs, assumptions, worldview, etc. instilled by growing up in Christian hegemony.

People who convert to religions like Islam or Judaism or even who marry a Hindu or otherwise join communities of people who are actively engaged with non-Christian traditions that have existed for a long time can get a big boost, I think, in that deconstruction because they're interacting with people who have never been Christian, whose parents were never Christian, whose grandparents were never Christian, and whose practices may have been *influenced* by Christianity but weren't instituted by Christians (or ex-Christians).

If you're leaving Christianity--or at least, a culturally Christian upbringing--and you're not becoming part of an established counter-tradition, I think, it's a lot harder to notice those assumptions and deconstruct them because you aren't getting that in-your-face contrast.

So you get a lot of ex-Christians who very much want to not be Christian anymore but are having to figure out what that means without living in a community that provides established counterexamples, and a lot of times have a lot of anger at Christianity and end up keeping a lot of the supremacist assumptions of Western Christianity and end up displacing some of that anger onto other traditions, advocating for a secularism that hasn't disentangled itself from white Christian norms, etc.

A lot of neopagan communities with which I've interacted are in this weird middle space, where most of the members are ex-Christian and are attempting to construct a counter-tradition, but they're doing it without the framework of an established counter-tradition.

And that's really fucking hard work because you don't have the benefit of a community with hundreds or thousands of years of its own non-Christian thought to counteract normative Christian-based attitudes and assumptions. The danger, I think, is in not recognizing that "reconstructed" traditions that are actually still based on stuff coming out of a Christian, white supremacist society don't actually provide the counter to Christian normativity that you might hope.

Again: Actually building a non-Christian tradition more or less from scratch, deconstructing white supremacist Christian assumptions so you're building on foundation that doesn't contain a lot of timbers that are just Christianity with the serial numbers filed off is really fucking hard work, and mad respect to the people actually doing it. It's much easier to just use what's already been packaged up for you.

I think the good news there is that if you do that deconstruction, and the communities you found and the traditions you start do that work, it's not going to take hundreds or thousands of years to have communities that provide strong, genuine alternatives to Christian hegemony. I know some kids raised in neopagan families that very intentionally do that work (although to be fair, both of those families have one parent who was raised in a non-Christian religion, so maybe they have a head start) who seem to have really internalized it.

But they are really clear on the whole "we're creating something new here" element of it. And I think that's incredibly, incredibly key to their authenticity, their sense of purpose, and their ethics.

And in general, I look at Christians and cultural Christians who aren't practicing, as a Jew, and think "man, you have it easy." But looking at neo-pagans who are actually Doing The Work to build something that's authentic and resistant to fascism, I think "man, I have it easy." (Incidentally, as much as Unitarianism often gets a bad rap for being bland, they've created some beautiful and moving rituals as well and are down with new ritual and I love them for it.)

Anyway, to wrap this up:

Creating new rituals and religious traditions is good, actually

You don't need some sort of unbroken religious history to be legitimate or authentic

It's cool to be inspired by ancient cultures without claiming to be them

Oh, and also:

For members of older non-Christian traditions: it's really really easy to fall into the default of rolling our eyes at the new and I do it a lot intentionally at Christians, because being reminded that there was plenty of Civilization in the world before Jesus is good for them, I think.

But it behooves us to make sure we're careful about when we deploy that.

Like, ESPECIALLY if you have the background of being raised in an old, non-Christian tradition with a strong community, I think being a sounding board to friends who are trying to deconstruct their own internalized Christian hegemony is a way to be an ally. Obviously, it doesn't automatically make anyone an expert on this stuff, but just the sniff-test of "that assumption seems weird to me" can, I think, be helpful.

Make new ritual.

It’s awesome.

(Image credit: Cottonbro Studio)

#neo-paganism #tradition #ritual #deconstructing Christian hegemony #paganism

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