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#as a complex form that reminds us that we are
rius-cave · 2 days
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I just saw you mention Adam having PTSD from the exterminations and honestly it's so valid. He did enjoy doing them, he did have fun, yes, but I firmly believe he started it because of his unprocessed trauma that he wasn't even aware of. I mean, I see the way he's masking himself (literally and figuratively) as a way of protecting himself from people. Back when he was "born" he was literally rejected and betrayed by the very people he supposedly loved and who were supposed to love him, then he was practically abandoned and thrown out of Eden by the same people who mentally harmed him in the first place. This guy is badly damaged and no one can convince me otherwise. And he was damaged from the start so he couldn't possibly realize that something was very not okay because these were the very first people he knew. And we all know pushing down our feelings and ignoring them comes with concequences. In his case, the frustration manifested in violence, on top of that violence against his own descendants who chose the wrong path, who had tainted humanity with their acts. He also probably connects them with Lilith and Lucifer who caused it in the first place, bringing evil to the earth. I also love to consider the extermination as a form of personal revenge on Adam's side, since he isn't able to carry out a direct revenge it serves as one for him.
But he knows it's wrong. He knows either way that what he's doing is bad and cruel, and even if he actively avoids admitting that to himself, he subconsciously knows.
Then he gets to Hell. He most likely only used to visit Hell during exterminations, which means his brain most likely strongly connects the place with that. Hence, being in Hell is a constant reminder for him. On top of that, he actually sees what life is like in Hell. That all those "bad bad sinners who can't change and tainted humanity" aren't all bad actually. And perhaps he doesn't care about them, but I don't think he could just ignore that. He has to live among them, he sees the way they live and he's forced to realize that they're still human souls and not pure evil and rotten. It will add to the guilt which he probably also doesn't admit that he feels, because he didn't do anything wrong, right..? Everything was reasonable... But then why does it feel so bad?
Okay this turned our very very long but it just hit me and I could still go on about it lol, I'll spare you from that
First of all, thank you anon for putting into words this thing that I'm not smart enough to do myself.
I really wouldn't dare to say that "canon" Adam is this deep and has oh such big trauma and is only misunderstood by everyone and bla bla, because if I'm honest, the way he's written in the show doesn't lead me to believe that Vivzie really cares about fleshing him out to be a super complex character. And hey, fair enough, I'm taking him from her anyway lol.
But if if we stopped for a second to think about it, Adam definitely has the potential to be a much deeper and complex character that would be able to touch upon themes like this. I desperately need to know when did everything go wrong, was it really Eden? Was it during his time on Earth? Was it after he died???
I honestly think it's kind of a mix of all of them, but the biggest shift was after he died. He was the first human soul in Heaven, hey, it's not so bad in here!! Maybe his suffering on Earth was worth it after all if he was able to spend the rest of Eternity in a place like this! Now he just needs to wait for his family to get there as well so it can all be complete!
Except they don't, not all of them in fact. A couple of his sons, maybe or maybe not his wife, but it's definitely not ALL of them, where is everybody!? He's pretty sure his grandchildren would start aging by now too, where did everybody go!?
Of course, that asshole has them. It wasn't enough for him to steal his first wife and lie to them so they'd get kicked out of Eden, he also took a bunch of his children, his grandchildren, his great grandchildren and so on and so on.
Look at everything they do on Earth, it's disgusting, and it's all that fucker's fault. None of this would've happened if it wasn't for him, if it wasn't for the other sinners who kept repeating the same mistakes over and over again.
And he starts the exterminations after centuries of wallowing in that hatred. But of course, they're only the result of years of watching how everyone just eventually leaves him. And he doesn't realize when that violence starts becoming just a way to cope with his intense hurt.
I feel like I went a little off track there, forgive me I am a little scatterbrained right now. But in any case, I absolutely concur with you!
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rendside · 29 days
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your art is beautiful im rly curious about your wc ocs as well!!! what happened to harpy?
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Harpy’s injury was by an attempt to drown him on the day where he was supposed to become the leader, by the previous leader. (Leaders in greater way are known as crown holders.)
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chalk-homunculus · 1 year
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The system's little sister got our number (finally? For whatever reason she didn't have it before) from our father and has been texting us every day since. It never fails to brighten our day. She's 10 years old and it's so heartwarming for us, I specifically would be ready to destroy not only mondstadt, but the entire Teyvat to protect her. I'm not exaggerating.
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reimeichan · 3 months
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Signs of having DID that I ignored (note that these are not exclusively signs of DID but they were for me):
I don't have amnesia, that's just short term memory loss because I have ADHD!
I actually have a very good memory, I'm great at memorizing things (what do you mean that's not the same thing)
sure it may seem like my mood changes drastically but I've read online that's common in people with ADHD! it's hard for us to regulate our emotions!
so what if I have different preferences from time to time? that's normal right? like when your mood changes you may prefer different foods? what do you mean that's not the same as going from "I hate spicy foods" one day to "omg I LOVE spicy foods!" the next?
yeah okay I tend to space out in the middle of conversations then come back to and need you to remind me what you said for the past 10 seconds or so. that's just my ADHD inattentiveness. what do you mean that I only do this when stressed. what do you mean that's a form of dissociation.
speaking of dissociation, sure sometimes I feel like I'm watching myself say and do things without my own input but that's just because I was tired/stressed out
yeah sometimes I go on autopilot. my autopilot seems to have its own agenda sometimes though. weird.
sure I changed usernames a *few* times but isn't that pretty common? yeah I also wanted to change how I presented online and also my pronouns and stuff but again isn't it common for people to want to start over sometimes?
*making multiple accounts to play the same game because I play the game differently on different accounts and don't want to mess things up on one account*
oh yes, I'm genderfluid! I say that because my gender absolutely changes from moment to moment and sure it seems kinda tied to other aspects of myself like color preferences and energy levels and personality traits but I'm pretty sure that's just par for the course with genderfluidity?
"you're so different when you're around your parents vs when you're at school/work vs when you're hanging out with friends!" yeah that's called being a complex person we all have different masks we wear in different social situations and I'm no different even if it seems more extreme for me
"how was school/work/the hang-out/going to visit your parents?" I don't know I'm tired and have a giant headache and can't remember
"you said this to me the other day and it made me feel <x>" what????? I literally have no memory of this and that's so incredibly out of character for me wtf I would never do that I was probably just really stressed out and tired and had no filter on.
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hollyseb · 3 months
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I DO (part 2)
Mob! Bucky x Reader - Forced Marriage AU
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Warnings: MINORS DNI, swearing, violence, sexual content
2.2k words
Summary; Bucky, the leader of the mob, and the daughter of his enemy mob leader, find themselves entangled in a complex relationship
“We got a problem”.
Bucky sent a glance to your sleeping form, the sheets pooling around your waist, with your chest lifting rhythmically.
He ran a hand down his face and groaned, not wanting to leave you. “How bad is it?”, he asked, debating whether to throw the phone at the wall.
“Bad enough”, Steve replied grimly.
Fuck”, Bucky muttered, hastily shoving his phone into his slacks, throwing on the rest his clothes.
Finally reaching the foyer, he grabbed his keys from the table by the door and made his way outside to where his Mercedes was parked. The cool night air hit him like a slap in the face.
Dragging me away from my wife, on my wedding night. This better be fucking good.
“Steve”, Bucky said tersely, stalking into the dark warehouse, his men surrounding a table.
Bucky's gaze swept over the faces of his men, noting the glint of determination in their eyes. The room fell silent as he entered, a testament to his intimidation.
Steves eyes met his, his expression grim but determined. "Bucky, glad you could make it," he said, his voice low and steady.
"What's the situation?" Bucky demanded, his broad shoulders raising and falling in laboured movements.
"Hydra hit us hard tonight," he rasped, his jaw set with determination. "They took out one of our key operations."
Bucky's jaw clenched, “Do we know why?”
Steve faltered for a moment, before clasping a hand on Bucky’s shoulder, “They’re… not happy about the arrangement with Pierce’s daughter”.
Bucky smirked at that, “well he was quick enough to give her away to pay off his debt… fucking coward”.
“Bucky, they took out 14 of our men, brutally”.
Fuck.
Bucky's expression darkened, his anger simmering just beneath the surface.
“Wipe out half of their men, now”, Bucky began, his lips beginning to curl into a dangerous smirk. “Send a message that we won’t tolerate their interference”.
Steve listened intently, waiting for Bucky to continue.
An intimidating glint flashed through the mob boss’ eyes. “Let them know we will track the rest of them down, one-by-one, take them hostage, and torture them until they are begging to die”, his voice dripping with menace.
This was the mob boss that Steve knew; ruthless, determined and downright frightening.
The warehouse buzzed with anticipation as Bucky directed his men to different parts of the city. The adrenaline from the operation faded, replaced by a growing unease, a pang of guilt gnawing at him. He hated how he left you alone on your wedding night.
Steve sensed his apprehension. “Go home, I got this”, he said assertively.
Bucky hesitated, usually reluctant to relinquish control, but the thought of you waiting for him at home spurred him into action. With a nod of gratitude, he turned on his heel and headed back to his car, eager to be by your side once more.
The first light of dawn was breaking through the darkness when Bucky was speeding home.
Upon entering, he found his home eerily quiet. The faint scent of perfume lingered in the air, a reminder of your presence.
His steps echoed in the empty hallway as he made his way to the bedroom, his mind racing with worry. Had you left in the middle of the night? Did you really feel no connection?
Relief flooded through his body as he pushed the bedroom door open, and saw you tangled in the sheets.
Gently, Bucky pressed a soft kiss to your forehead.
After he pulled away slightly, you pounced on him, eyes flashing with anger.
You pinned him to the mattress with a knee on his hip and a hand on his wrist. Your chest was rising and falling rapidly, as you took in his bewildered expression.
”Where the hell were you?”, you seethed, your voice demanding. “Leaving in the middle of the night without a word”.
He swallowed hard, opening his mouth to respond.
You interrupted him. “It’s my first night in this house, and you fucking leave?”
”I’m sorry, doll”, he murmured, “it was just…business”, his hand reaching out to brush a stray hair behind your ear.
Is he fucking patronising you?
You scoffed, shoving his hand away. “Business”, you repeated incredulously.
Bucky's jaw clenched at your tone, not accustomed to having his decisions questioned by anyone. His patience wearing thin, "yes, business," he replied firmly, his gaze unwavering. "I had to handle something urgent”.
Your grip on him tightened. “Something urgent, huh? How about I perform a disappearing act too?”
Bucky’s eyes narrowed. “You disappear and I’ll hunt you down”, his voice low and edged.
“Is that a threat?” you challenged, a smirk playing on your lips as you observed the way Bucky’s jaw ticked. You managed to piss him off.
“Call it what you want”, he replied evenly, his tone firm, “but you're not going anywhere without me knowing about it”.
You moved to release him, attempting to roll off of the man, but he had your hip gripped like a vice. The tension in the room thickened, each word hanging in the air like a silent challenge.
Bucky's lips curled into a predatory smile, “but trust me, I don’t need threats to keep you right where I want you”.
“Fuck you”.
Bucky’s eyes darkened with desire as he held you captive beneath him.
“Funny,” he smirked, his voice dripping with hunger, “that’s exactly what I had in mind”.
You sneered at that, but his smirk only widened in response before his lips crashed into yours. You hated his cocky attitude, but you couldn’t help succumbing to him.
Bucky grinned against your lips when he ran his fingertips from your hip to the swell of your breast, feeling goosebumps appear in his wake.
Gently, he cupped your breast, his thumb brushing over your hardened nipple, eliciting a gasp from your mouth. Your body responded instinctively to his touch, arching as he rolled your nipple between his fingers.
His other hand slid down your spine, swiftly flipping you onto your back. He pulled away slightly, his gaze lingering on your hazy eyes, swollen lips and the way your breasts bounced as you landed.
With a hungry gleam in his eyes, he began peppering kisses along your jawline and down your neck, until he reached your breasts. He licked the sensitive skin around your nipple tentatively, maintaining unbroken eye contact with you.
You couldn't help but let out a soft whimper at his deliberate slowness, your anticipation building with each teasing touch. He lapped up the sound, a low hum vibrating against your skin as he palmed your other breast.
Your eyes flew open in shock when he started kissing down your stomach, tugging at the duvet pooled around your hips.
“Bucky?”
He hummed in response, fingers curling around the fabric covering your form. His gaze flickered to yours, “relax, doll”, he whispered, his voice a soothing balm, “I've got you”.
With a shaky exhaled you surrendered to his touch.
He pulled the duvet below your knees, and gently placed his hands on your thighs. Slowly, he spread your legs apart, eyes falling from your face to your core.
”Fuck”, he murmured to himself, taking in the sight before him. “You’re so fucking wet”, he growled, a hunger evident in his voice. He needed this.
His gaze flickered back up to meet yours, a primal intensity burning in his eyes. Without breaking eye contact, he lowered his head, his lips trailing a scorching path along your inner thighs.
Bucky's movements were deliberate and calculated, his tongue teasingly tracing circles along your skin. You squirmed beneath his touch, your breath hitching as he sucked a love bite into the plump skin of your thigh.
As he finally reached your core, he paused, his gaze locking with yours once more. There was a silent question in his eyes, a silent request for permission. You nodded silently.
With a devilish grin, Bucky lowered his head, licking a stripe through your folds. Your body tensed, breath getting caught in your throat. It felt so foreign, but so natural. His hands gripped your thighs, dragging you closer to his face.
With a stifled moan, you breathed his name. It was blissful, the way his tongue swept over your clit. His fingers traveled from your thighs, to spread your folds, allowing him to lick impossibly deeper.
“B-Bucky”, you stammered, a poor attempt at a warning as he teased you, bringing you to the edge, only to pull you back.
He hummed innocently in response, the vibrations going straight to your clit. You found yourself lifting your hips in an attempt to get him closer, grinding against his tongue.
You knew you were becoming delirious, losing yourself in his touch. Unable to control how your body writhed, and stringing his name between moans and whines. The knot in your stomach tightening.
He ignored your jumbled pleas, mercilessly lapping at your clit. Slowly, he sank his finger into your entrance, controlled and gentle, hardening at the way your walls clenched him.
“Bucky, please”, you whisper breathlessly. You tried to resist the urge to ride his fingers. He revealed in your submission, his gaze darkening with desire. He loved you like this, at his mercy.
”You’re making such a mess, honey”, the sound of your wetness filling the room.
Suddenly, he sucked on your clit and curved his fingers, just at the right pace. The knot released. Your legs shook around his head as your mouth fell open in ecstasy. Fuck. You forgot your own name. You’d never came so hard in your life. You were gasping for air.
He wouldn’t release you, prolonging your climax. He couldn’t get enough of the way you trembled beneath his touch.
As you came down from your high, chest heaving and skin flushed, Bucky crawled up your body, leaving a trail of kisses along your skin.
“Still planning on that disappearing act, huh?”, Bucky said, a smug grin playing on his lips.
In a dazed haze, you managed to lazily roll your eyes. “Gonna need more than just one orgasm to make me forget about that, Buck”.
Bucky’s grin widened at your response, a mischievous glint dancing in his eyes. “Oh sweetheart”, he purred, leaning in closer, “I can make you forget your own name”.
You arched an eyebrow, with a smirk devious enough to match his. “Careful, you might end up forgetting yours too”, you retorted, your tone teasing.
Bucky’s voice dropped to a husky whisper, his breath grazing your ear. “It’ll be hard to forget my name with the way you were moaning it”.
Bucky’s grin faltered as a sharp knock on the bedroom door shattered the tranquil atmosphere.
Quickly, you pulled the sheets up to cover yourself as Bucky padded across the room with a resigned sigh. He swung the door open, revealing the man who you had seen briefly at the wedding, Steve.
The man stepped into the room, his gaze flickering to you briefly before returning to Bucky. You felt exposed under his stare.
”You’re needed downstairs. Now.” Steve's voice was urgent, his eyes darting between you and Bucky with unease.
Bucky’s brow furrowed, muscles tensing with apprehension. “Has Hydra attacked?”, he questioned, his voice edged with concern.
“Bring her downstairs too”, Steve added, his tone leaving no room for argument.
Bucky looked at you over his shoulder. He hated the way you were gripping the bedsheets in fear. Both men fixed their eyes on you, their expressions unreadable. Silently, Bucky nodded to Steve, unease settling like a fog over the room.
“Give us a minute”, Bucky said to Steve, closing the door quietly.
There was a sense of foreboding in your chest as Bucky turned to you, his demeanor suddenly serious. You felt a shiver down your spine. You had yet to see his mob boss side in full throttle.
“Get dressed, now”, he instructed, placing a folded pair of his grey tracksuit bottoms and a plain white tee in your hands.
”Bucky?”, you whispered, alarmed by his haste, “is everything okay?”
“Get dressed”.
Without another word, you obeyed his instructions, slipping into the clothes he provided. You found yourself breathing in the scent of his cologne to calm yourself down.
Once dressed, you met Bucky’s steely gaze. His usual charm was gone. A reminder of the dangerous world he lived in.
Bucky took your hand in his, his thumb drawing circles over your hand. His touch grounded you in the midst of the chaos. together, you made your way downstairs.
As you reached the downstairs of his mansion, the atmosphere shifted palpably. Bucky’s men were gathered in tense clusters, their expressions grim.
"Stay close to me," Bucky murmured, his voice low and reassuring, as he led you through the gathering of his men.
You nodded silently, clinging to his hand tightly as you navigated through the tense atmosphere. The weight of the situation hung heavy in the air, and you couldn't shake the feeling of unease creeping up your spine.
As you approached the center of the room, Bucky's third-in-command, Sam, stepped forward, his expression grave.
“Hydra has placed a hit on your wife.”
—————————————————————————
Part 3 out soon!
Taglist!
@sashaisready @matchat3a @writingpastmybedtime @thealyrs @melsunshine @lex-the-flex @himawariizephyr @jbbarnesgirl @mrs-bucky-barnes-73 @sagebarness @mishkatelwarriorgoddess @selella @armystay89 @globetrotter28 @iwritewithpenandpaper @casa-boiardi @winterslove1917 @buckydarling09 @kandis-mom @scott-loki-barnes @mrsevans90
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daze4all · 4 months
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Yandere HSR Blade, Dan Heng, Jing Yuan Characterization, NSFW & Aftercare
Destructive!Yandere! Blade -Bruises and Bitemarks
A true Yandere/Yandere blade is.
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Destructive!Yandere! Blade Careless. Rough, he may hurt darling accidental.h not intentionally physical or emotionally with his blunt manner but filled with want and need “ I need you”
Destructive!Yandere! Blade Mara struck Madness mara in his eyes not again….
Destructive!Yandere! Blade An all-consuming flame as he devour you hungrily like a man dying of thirst
You cannot go a drug that soothe his weary soul.
 A short lived being stretched to limit of life you are the spark that remind him of is softness and fragility. All that he once was abd craves to be again.
Destructive!Yandere! Blade Fear and need to control this relationship to go his way so you stay by his side scars from old relationship gone wrong .
Destructive!Yandere! Blade fueling his bad habit to strike first so he won’t be hurt again…only you would be ruined by his own hands before he could be runed by you….not knowing he had already
Destructive!Yandere! Blade Holding you too tight…you may break but his madness keeps himself form seeing this…
As long as, you stay by Destructive!Yandere! Blade side and are his light to his madness his singular obsession by his side and do not stray, he is content for a while. Like the soothing trill you calm the mara by your presence.
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Destructive!Yandere! Blade NSFW SEX
Destructive!Yandere! Blade Grasping touches too hard hold as he treat you like a plushies in bed pressing you to his chest and under him so you cannot leave. Focusing on you to drown out the bussing mara of past memories.
Destructive!Yandere! Blade Pain and pleasure intermix during intimate love bites and bruise mark, full chomp, interspersed with scraping teeth to neck and grasping hands presses so hard they might bruise.
He has a preference for sinking his teeth at the back of your shoulders to see you hunched defeated submissive. To avoid seeing faces of the past and to only
 Destructive!Yandere! Blade  likes to see your back laid out to claim and dominate to lean his weight on when taking from the back…to not see your tears how annoying reminding him of his sins…why cannot you just want this like him? He’ll make you scream for it
Destructive!Yandere! Blade Sex is a hard sharp quick staccato rhythm of hips pain pleasure a punishment reward in one not deserving of you and yet wanting you all the same an overindulgence that ruin you both.
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Aftercare. After clumsy attempt to soothe tend to wound with sane wrapping he used but without word just long loo and linher touh /. Complex emotion pride same rembeerance in his dulled cadles like eyes but intense burning. May lick tears from eyes.
After cuddles, He leans into you stick to your side and still and steady as a stone. He is wrapped around caged you cannot leave a heavy weight as blade acts like a permanent weight blanket that lulls you to sleep if you can.
Escape? Anyone who tries take you surely end up a dead bloody pulp . A red smear and blood bath should ensue if you leave. & you don’t wat that right ? so stay in him arms he’ll protect you from all harm.
You must pay the price for making him like this…
Possessive! Delusional! Dragon! Yandere Dan Heng
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You are his light, brighter than the sun.
Yandere! Guard! Dan Heng Maintains respectful distance. Is formal and blushes and  is easy to tease. He does not show public affection often but for grasps hand, so you don’t stray. He keeps you in close proximity so you don’t escape..
Yandere! Guard! Dan Heng He claims to you by interjecting with calm assurance you are his wife whenever introduced. That you need to be each other side at all times like a lovestruck newlywed couple.
Yandere! Guard! Dan Heng “ah this is my wife, we need to be by each other at all times we had scare at one of the last planets we visited..” He says smoothly without explanation that the scare was you getting away…
Yandere! Guard! Dan Heng He lingers close by right behind you and may brush brief lingering touches to remind you of his presence out of others sight.
Yandere! Guard! Dan Heng After every fight he inspect you concerned and guards you.
Yandere! Guard! Dan Heng Cold rage simmers below a placid surface and he is quick and precise in taking out any enemy that so much as scratches you. He doesn’t like to see you fight or get hurt. “Stay in the back I’ll keep you safe.”
Yandere! Guard! Dan Heng Rarely he may corner you from time to time against a wall when urges act up or he is annoyed you are being reckless not protecting yourself. Enough!  don’t you see he is worried why are you hiding from him? He is trying to protect you. You are his only light, his mate so stay be his side please.
“Tch again….This is why you shouldn’t fight. I’ll take care of it” Angry annoyed at any other claim than he is sure to replace it later with his in the bedroom….and patch it up so no one sees but him…
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Soft Side of Yandere! Dan Heng
Soft! Yandere! Dan Heng leans briefly against you to sleep or dozes off in your cabin on your lap pillows. He is clingy possessive in sleep cuddles close a tail wrapped around you so you cannot even get up for water without waking him.
Soft! Yandere! Dan Heng. He courts you with small gestures picks up pretty shells,flower coandies you may like in and stares until you savor them  in front of him. Watching your every move intently.
Yandere! Guard! Dan Heng. guard of the express that’s only normal to keep eyes on your safety at all time and if you try to escape… he might cut in if you show any sign of slipping the truth or artfully turn the conversation around so no one notices…
Soft! Yandere! Dan Heng. A subtle yandere only in private he keeps you in line. He sees you as his mate and part of his hoard driven by draconic instinct, he is sometimes ashamed of.
Soft! Yandere! Dan Heng. He always provide aftercare yet somehow cannot let you go although he knows its best. He makes up with presents and gestures apologies and guilt you into staying with him.
 Yandere!  Dragon! Dan Heng However if you resist it irritates his dominance as dragon to show  you are his mate but always patches you up after.
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Sex with Yandere! Dan Heng
He has a preference for your neck to claim ,mark, lick and nuzzle. Where the blood pulses and make his intact run wild in this moment he can let free his draconic high elder form freeing him from his human visage. In private, the dragon emerges possessive protective hungry for you.  
Yandere! Dragon! Dan Heng
Settled in his cabin he may take liberties. Claiming bites, rutting heat.
He may keep you in there for days to satiate the beast playing with tail, talon and teeth.
Not gentle dragon during rut but overwhelmed with pain and pleasure you may bedridden by the ordeal. Not one cam mistake that you are his.
Nesting He has draconic nesting of breeding and though impossible his instincts cry to tie you to him even with child. Though he doesn’t really want them to take your attention from him. It’d be hard surely to travel with one. Though he thinks you being motherly sweet to the kids and domestic caring for their nest would so nice instead of fighting him…
Escape? hah don’t even think of it. he broke you long ago. He keeps an eye at all times as fellow guard of the express you are by his side. He may even get countermeasure like ipc gadget to track you with gps …. A necklace perhaps a collar hmm discreet enough but a claim nonetheless.
If you escape, He’d hunt you down throughout the galaxy as the hunt sings through his veins  
Obsessive! Yandere Jing Yuan
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Sugar Daddy! Yandere Jing Yuan: Big bear hugs suffocating softness and sweet. A yandere to cater to every need and then some.
Sugar Daddy! Yandere Jing Yuan The type who’d buy out store of jewelry or dresses for his sweetheart to sweep them off their feet.
Sugar Daddy! Yandere Jing Yuan Sweet teasing gestures begging for more hiding the pervert he is for you behind the dirty thoughts and how touch starved he is for you.
Sugar Daddy! Yandere Jing Yuan. He is a soft yandere he wants to protect, provide and keep you safe in his mansion cuddled up with him.
 Yandere Jing Yuan He may manipulate circumstance so you cannot leave but subtly emotionally so you may be guilted into staying of your own violation.
Yanqing guilts you with puppy eyes to stay and spars with you too late so you miss your flight per the generals secret orders.
“Oh no now there are problems that came up with your starkiff so you cannot fly away…” Sugar Daddy! Yandere Jing Yuan says sadly with a smirk
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Obsessive! Yandere Jing Yuan He is clingy coming ever closer leaning over hand over shoulder waist linger waiting to strike lean in closer touches ghosting your wrist or elbow.
Obsessive! Yandere Jing Yuan He’d like to do more but wait ease you into getting used to him like its natural and let the rumors fly.
Sugar Daddy! Yandere Jing Yuan with sly smile “of course dear you can stay another night forever even perhaps” he has all the time in world for you….
Obsessive! Yandere Jing Yuan. One day on the loufu you caught in compromising position with him. he doesn’t care reputation as long rumor involve you and him solidifying a relationship.
Sex with Yandere! Jing Yuan
Pervert! Yandere! Jing Yuan! Likes to tease you in public to be caught is the thrill to show you as his.
Pervert! Yandere! Jing Yuan! To coax you into compromising position where you might be caught to assert his dominance to whittle you down begging pleading mess to show he’s won.
Pervert! Yandere! Jing Yuan! He likes when you wear what he gets for you secretly under you clothes like treat or present to unwrap at home or in quickie in closet or under desk. If he cannot wait for his treat.
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Escape? Yandere! Jing Yuan.
 Any other competition he’s squash silently out of sight through power, wealth, and influence.
Try to escape or run away? He’d be devasted but muster up his forces he is general after all specialized to play the long game and send a fleet to find you.
Ah I do love it when you fight, he says amused it makes the game more interesting ~
Continuation  of Yandere Jing Yuan in previous posts.
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onyourhyuck · 10 months
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Red Light. | N.JM
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— Prologue: “Baby just the tip, i promise.”
— Summary: You and your boyfriend Jaemin get the cab back home however, your boyfriend can’t keep his hands off you.
— Genre: Smut. Cockwarming. Public sex literally at the back of the cab. Needyboyfriend!jaemin. Exhibitionist. Slight voyeurism Jaemin. Mention of first time squirting. Jaemin’s literally pussy starved this man cannot wait. Unprotected sex. The name terms used ‘good girl’ ‘pretty slut’. They get caught at the end.
— Notes: This trope does something to me.
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Your boyfriend and you decided to get the cab home after having a double date dinner with your friends. The night ended when you and Jaemin couldn’t wait anymore. During the entire dinner let’s just say your boyfriend was literally touching you at every end of your will considering how good you look it’s a torture to stare and sit still. Your boyfriend can’t wait. You didn’t know what else to do except to call early and tell your two friends you need the cab.
“Yeah sorry Mark, something came up. It was nice having dinner though with you guys.” You fake a smile at your friend and Mark being the gullible person he was believed you.
He believes that you actually had something important coming up. You’re glad your friend trusts you so much considering you’re now fighting between your inner conflict of slapping your boyfriend’s hand under the table that’s right at the hem of your panty line ready to sneak his touch in between your two pretty thigh gaps touching his hands.
You wish your frown was visible but you couldn’t make your expression obvious so now you’re just squeezing your thighs together hoping your boyfriend gets the memo that he can’t be doing this in a public restaurant, in front of your two friends.
“Yeah… I promise I’ll make it up for you, right Jaemin?” You now said turning to your boyfriend with a hidden glaring smile and your voice was hoarse and gritty when speaking to him.
Your boyfriend turns his blank gaze to Mark and his girlfriend who are watching the both of you. There was some tension between you guys especially when your expression fell into hard solid form when speaking to your boyfriend about the problem that came up. “Hm? Oh yeah, we definitely will reschedule our double date on a better day.” He says and you turn your sharp glare away standing up with your dress and Jaemin was quick enough to take his hand away from between your thighs.
Leaving the restaurant wasn’t easy either. Jaemin’s hands always found a way to grope around your waist or your ass down below your dress you keep trying to fight the urge to snap at him. You have no idea why your boyfriend was deciding to suddenly out of nowhere act out like this.
Once the cab arrives in front of the restaurant you snuck in first and Jaemin goes inside after you. The black cab had tainted windows in the back and he found that to be convenient knowing that he will not have the patience to get back home to take a taste of you. Your cab driver starts to drive when you direct him to the address of your house.
Hand snuck around your waist and Jaemin’s face was hidden on the nape of your neck breathing and taking in your scent. It was sweet and warm. It reminds him of coffee in some way. Your breath quickens when his hands caresses your thighs going up, and up, until he reaches the higher ground. Your eyes shift to your boyfriend’s stoic face that shows no emotion but flatness. You knew damn well what he was feeling behind those black eyes.
Jaemin whispers near your face, his hot breath drawing on you as if you were a white blank canvas and he was the painter. “Get on my lap baby, I need to be inside of you.”
The words he tells you were so simple but so complex knowing that you’re literally in the back of the cab on your way home and the ride from the city back to your house will be a little longer drive especially with the night life traffic going on. You want to cuss knowing how much your boyfriend’s mind was already made up. There’s no point trying to change his decision. He already knows what he wants and he needs you.
Your eyes widen as did your perfectly red lips. “Jaemin you can’t be serious right? We’re on our way home can’t you wait for a minute?” You snapped quietly knowing the driver could hear even the slightest of yells.
The situation was already arousing so much, Jaemin hearing your sharp snapping makes him think how attractive you are when you’re angry or even scolding him? Jaemin can’t handle much of your voice either he just keeps imagining flashbacks of you moaning everytime he was inside you. All those memories keep invading his brain and sight. It’s all he can see and hear nowadays was just you moaning out his name while you’re being a pillow princess in your shared double bed.
“I can’t wait. You kept me waiting long enough Y/n.”
He shakes his head as if this was already decided between the both of you. If it’s done discreetly than none of you will get caught and that’s a happy ending right?
You feel his hot breath against your cheek while his mouth plants soft and slow kisses on your jawline and down your neck just above the jawline he has just kissed. As if he was waiting for your approval. But of course he knows you will into the idea, you never leave your boyfriend behind when he wants something from you. “Baby just the tip, i promise.” He softly whispers into your ears bringing the face back up to be next to your pierced ears wearing those pretty diamond earrings.
You thickly swallow your saliva building in your mouth knowing how you’re starting to vision how he would be only inside you, not moving and not doing anything. It wouldn’t look weird if you’re sitting on your boyfriend’s lap. The driver up front wouldn’t even notice.
“Okay just the tip.” You whisper slowly. Jaemin gave a little smirk knowing you’re about to move on to his lap. The body weight pressing on his crotch while Jaemin was sneaky enough to wrap the hands on the surface of your beautiful thighs while you feel the zipper pull down below and the harden crotch pressing against the crack of your ass just makes you shiver. You’ve never done something like this with your boyfriend or even with your past lovers; but this wasn’t nearly as exciting as anything you did before and this new level of excitement and intimacy you’re about to unlock with Jaemin.
Your boyfriend pressed the tip on your entrance and slowly and surely pushed inside feeling your walls growing on him like it was a circle squeezing and squeezing him out of you even more. Your mouth parts like the waves landing on the shore as the intense pressure forming from down below stretching you out much. Your hand pressed over your mouth and you bite your palm to make any noise die off.
He slips out low groans at the back of your neck kissing down your spine while you are seating on your boyfriend’s lap casually watching your hands curling up into a ball. The warmth and fullness of your body giving him so much ecstasy.
It was unbelievable how good it feels to be inside you not moving or doing anything but it was just as intense as if he was moving around.
Your eyes waver when your boyfriend spread his kisses on your shoulders as his hands caress up and down your thighs. Your stomach was at its wits ends right now. “You feel good? I feel so good… I missed your warmth so much.” Jaemin whispers bringing his lips to your ears giving it a small loving kiss.
You breathe out heavily. “Mhm…” and your mind goes to wander many things as you try not to move too much. The back of the cab starts to move again and now you’re going through these speed bumps which makes your bodies rock even more against each other while pressing your back against his chest.
Jaemin groans deeply suddenly while he sucks on your neck, the intimacy of your bodies rocking back and forth like a carousel would makes your brains turn off and the electric impulses you feel running in your blood making it go warm when your boyfriend was kissing your skin and sucking on it causing gentle reddish marks to form. “Fuck… baby move your hips against me gently.” He pleads nearly.
You bite your tongue as you do as he said, your hips rut in small movements at the backside while you’re sitting on the lap. “Fuck, Jaemin…”
Watching you moan his name like that while trying to be quiet wasn’t working in your boyfriend’s favour, it was making your boyfriend go ballistic hearing how pretty you sound. He can’t get enough of you. It wasn’t enough for him no matter what you’re doing Jaemin keeps wanting you as if you’re gravity pulling him down with you.
His hands move inside your panties now when you least expected as you’re focusing on your body steadily keeping it on his lap as the cab shakes time to time you didn’t want to fall off. Your boyfriend was sly and he slowly rubs circles on your clit which makes you flinch at the sudden contact of his long slender fingers creating a new pleasure to enter your body. It was filling your head with joy. To feel your boyfriend down there rubbing you in circles while the driver was driving.
Trying to not make it so obvious what you’re doing you start to struggle holding it in. Jaemin saw how your eyes were watering and you’re trying not to press too much pressure otherwise you would’ve moaned a much louder tone.
“My pretty slut enjoys getting fingered by her boyfriend in the back of the cab? Oh my… Y/n you’re so dirty.”
You close your eyes as Jaemin pushed in the fingers into your wet hole making small wet noises to come out between your shaking legs as his cock was bending your walls with powerful thrusts. The intensity of him inside your interior womb was just rubbing your shoulders by his forehead while pressing such deadly wet kisses on your body, while he was nastily moving his fingers roughly in and out of you. All your broken voices in your head was killing you to let them out.
It never crossed your mind once to think your boyfriend would ever be like this in public with you.
Somehow this makes it even more arousing than you might of expected it to be. You hate how your boyfriend’s touches were engraved to your muscle memory. Every part of him was a memory you remember. It just makes your walls crumble and your guard will always be lowered when your boyfriend touched you. He knows your love language was physical touch as well and this made it all so much harder to ignore your boyfriend.
“Fuckfuck… Jaemin… stop we will get caught.” You eagerly tell him when you’re feeling your stomach flipping upside down.
Jaemin smirks with his eyes watching yours. They were so crystal clear and they are watering at every second the fingers slipping out of your wet cunt. “You think I actually care if we get caught baby? Darling don’t be afraid and give our cab driver a good show.”
He was teasing you, it’s obvious but in the moment you feel everything hitting you with all hundred percent. You bite on your inner cheek as the pace of the fingers were increasing the amount to bury deep in your sweet soothing cunt as your breath quickens and now your chest was pounding full on with your heart racing at each moment he was latching at your body keeping you close.
You moan into your palm hurriedly, your moans were getting too hard to keep track of. Jaemin’s fingers were kissing your thick and soft walls while his free hand was running in your thick and silky soft hair, as if he was brushing them away from your face so he can see how red your cheeks were.
In your mind you were a literal mess. Shaking and trembling with your weight pressing on the lower body with your boyfriend’s cock deeply buried twitching while he occasionally thrusts inside while your nub was quickly teased between the two fingers.
Jaemin’s thumb and index finger pinch at your clit causing you to cry out suddenly while you had your teeth biting at your own tongue.
“Ah! Shit… shit… m’feels so good.” You mumble you couldn’t even think of anything else to distract yourself from this. All you had on your mind was how much you want to cum on his fingers. Even the scorching knot heating your abdomen below was threatening to burst.
Jaemin knew you were about to release before you knew it yourself. It’s like you couldn’t even keep track of your own body’s release and Jaemin was making sure your body remembers him so much you’re going to scream his name out. It was like a promise song he will always keep you at.
The release you didn’t even know was coming had you suddenly moaning much louder and you failed to keep it inside as you bury your head in your two palms out as your boyfriend’s fingers were rubbing fanning up and down on your red swollen causing clit causing your folds to tear open a powerful orgasm with your own pussy juice making your legs split open and shatter as it all falls out of you like a thunderstorm before the calm.
It didn’t even occur to you that you’re about to cum but your boyfriend had you thinking so much you were blanking out in between the intense moments of his hand between your thighs while he was inside your cunt so deep you can barely describe how far he was inside of you.
Jaemin’s trousers were wet and he was enjoying your leak so much he didn’t stop moving the fingers against your clit as he made you spill so much more. At this point you were bouncing on his lap as you’re crying out with pleasure for your own salvation and help right now.
“That’s it, good girl… good girl.” Jaemin coos against your face kissing your cheek as you’re here breathing and panting heavily with your half eyelids open.
At the same time he saw your droopy expression telling him how good you’re feeling. It must’ve been like you were put into a different dream, or perhaps it feels like a dream to you knowing how good your body was under going underneath what he caused you to feel.
“Ahh… fuck I came… ahhh no way…”
You whimper a few curse spells while you try to move on the lap while your boyfriend’s cock was still buried deeply in your folds. All your orgasm was creaming now against the tip of his shaft.
Your brain took a few seconds to register that you squirted all over the cab flooring and his trousers. Now it was everything so wet you didn’t even think you could orgasm this way. Your dress was slightly crumpled up. Your boyfriend’s clothes are wrinkled and wet from your squirting. Your eyes were feeling heavy as much as your red lipstick was stained when Jaemin brought his face over to rub his thumb over your bottom lip that has little drool from your moans.
The lipstick smudged over to your corner of the lips and the chin while Jaemin looks at you, you look like a messy considering your hair was slightly more messy and you press your mouth together softly when you’ve calmed down.
“Where are we…? Almost home?” You mumble and Jaemin looks up front with a smile seeing how your cab was at the red light.
“We’re at a red light, princess.” He whispers brushing some hair out of your face. Your eyes were tired and you manage to see up front the driver gawking his attention over at you both in the back seats while his eyes glued to you and the entire mess at the back of the cab while your boyfriend was having his hands possessively wrapped around your waist.
The driver shakes his head in slight disappointment and also shock knowing what you guys did there but he didn’t say anything. But you knew deep down some minor shame and at the same time your heart was shattering in embarrassment.
But your boyfriend? He had no shame. He was shameless and smirking as he squeezed his arms around you some more.
“Since we’re at a Red Light, can you give me another orgasm Y/n?” The shameless smirk on Jaemin’s face makes you think he must be the incarnate of the devilish spirit. “I think our driver wants to see more of you…”
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@onyourhyuck please refer from translating copyrighting and plagiarising my work thank youu! Reblog this fic and follow my blog for more!
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undercovercameron · 1 year
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a domesticated rafe cameron
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summary: a bf headcanon for sir rafe m.f. cameron
notes: *NSFW NEAR THE END* i have been seeing so many headcanons for rafe as a bf recently and i used to do these all the time for other fandoms and people and holy fuck i miss and love them.. allow me to indulge myself. also a lot of these are not simply him being touchy or super cute positive ones bc he’s canonically a murderer and drug addict and felon sooo akdjdjd we all of course romanticize him but i just thought i’d say that. lemme know what you think !
tags: rafe cameron x reader
i think rafe is a very complicated kind of lover
he’s a complex ass dude as it is, so that obviously reflects in your relationships
your relationship probably started unconventionally, either because of a fuck up or drunken mistake or maybe even meeting him randomly on a golf course or on the beach and just immediately being drawn to each other
he wants someone that challenges him a Little bit but really just wants someone to go with the flow and let him take the lead
he already gets enough direction and bossy shit from his family
(probably a couple arguments have sparked because of that; he sees too much of rose or ward in you. it’s also something that draws him to you, though, so take it with a grain of salt)
on the topic of arguments, you two are no stranger to them
he always ends up apologizing though, even if you started it—he’d just much rather have your mouth on his than have it yelling at him and knows there’s always a way to get you back on his side
he’s a proud man, so his apologies are usually in the form of him complimenting you or giving entirely hypothetical situations in which he Possibly Might Be Sorry
you take it because it’s probably the best you’re gonna get
he shows his love and affection in a little different ways that other people you’ve dated
of course he’s no stranger to PDA
in fact it only puffs his chest that you want to be seen with him and touch him
he’ll never admit it, but he loves when you kiss his face
like duh,
but not just his lips, he really likes when you kiss him on the temple or just press your face to his cheek or peck at his jaw
he also likes when you hold onto his belt when getting his attention or trying to move him
a lot of your dates involve watching a movie or TV show, because truth be told he is a home body
maybe not his home, but def a home body
your house is a reminder that he is apart of your life; he sees the pictures, the movie tickets, his favorite chips (salt and vinegar, ew i know), or spares of toothbrushes and his clothes in your closet
in any social situation he is either looking at you, thinking of looking at you, touching you, or asking people where you are
he cannot stand to make small talk without his emotional support girlfriend at his side
you’re just so much funnier than all these other people
he prides himself on his ability to make you blush, and does it any chance he gets
he doesn’t really get to laugh a lot, as he is either in distress or about to get punched or reprimanded, so you’re always whispering some joke into his ear to get him to laugh. your success rate is much better than anyone else’s in his life
he knew he loved you when you grabbed his hand during a dinner you were at and some politician walked in with a very apparent and badly concealed nose job. you just mouth “oh my god” and he had to snort to cover up his laugh
you were also all dolled up and cute and sexy that night so that may have had something to do with him knowing he loved you
he is also a great communicator
it’s not in his nature to hide his feelings because they’re so fucking obvious on that expressive face of his
and he never knew he could have so much fun texting until you came along
now he’s a regular emoticon user
weird, right?
now onto spicy things,
you’ve never known a partner to ask you how you feel more than Rafe
it’s a praise thing, you think
he wants to hear that he feels good, that right there, that he fucks you so good, that he’s perfect for you
the nonverbal sign that all those are true is when you throw your head back and a gasp is caught in your throat
the very idea that your breath is stolen every time he does something good makes his heart skip a beat
his cheeks get very red while you’re having sex, so your cool fingers are usually petting them or pressed near them
you have a thing for his legs
i mean come on
he just walks around like that all day
he walks around with a dick like that in his pants all day, and you’re supposed to just ignore it?!
absolutely not
you especially like when he wears those hoochie daddy 5 inch inseam swim trunks, because you get to see where his skin gets a little paler and softer and it makes you get goosebumps at the thought of where it leads
those trunks are a treat usually, saved for a special occasion where he doesn’t have to be around his family and he can have you in his lap, hand trapped between your legs
let’s just say you two fuck like rabbits
two beautiful young adults, what else occupies your time?
it gets a little annoying for other people when you’re apart of their dinner party, because you’re always late, but then learn to just deal with it
it’s better to not have a sexually frustrated rafe cameron that accidentally stabs through his plate of rice and vegetables like that one time at the island club with your parents when you licked up a drop of lemon sauce from your chin and his eyes nearly bulged out of his head
decidedly not a great time or place to act like that
anyways,
i just think while yours’ and rafe’s relationship def has its ups and downs like all other relationships, your recovery period after an argument is remarkably high
you both know you’re not mad anymore, so it’s not worth it to be bad communicators and make it worse
at the end of the day, there’s always space for you in his bed, and he always welcomes you with a slap on the ass and a whisper of “we’re totally fucking in the shower tomorrow”
(and yes. you do)
notes: i hope this doesn’t seem to scatterbrained, i may or may not end up adjusting or editing this later to be closer to what i think would be him
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morelikeravenbore · 3 months
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✨Sebastian Sallow fluff alphabet
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My personal headcanons based on the way I imagine and write Sebastian in How to Make a Villain.
This template is from this post by snowluvs and is definitely worth a read and a reblog! I loooove reading Sebastian headcanons so feel free to write your own, too!
🌶️ Find my Sebastian Sallow spicy alphabet here.
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A - Attractive - what do they find attractive about their partner?
We all know that Sebastian has a bit of a savior complex, so he's attracted to a partner who trusts him with their vulnerability by letting him protect them, care for them and fuss over them. However, he also likes a challenge, so someone with a bit of backbone to go with their vulnerability would really pique his interest. It doesn't matter what form that backbone takes, be it academically-focused, impressive duelling prowess, or just someone whose not afraid to call him out when he's acting out of line, Sebastian is undeniably attracted to that spark.
Read on 👇
B - Body - what is their favourite part of their partner’s body?
Given that he craves deep and genuine emotional connection with a partner, he's very drawn to the face: stroking your cheeks, kissing the corners of your mouth, your eyelids, your brows. He finds any excuse to touch your face, whether it be brushing your hair back behind your ear or tenderly wiping food or smudges from your chin with his thumbs. When being intimate, he holds your face between his hands, pressing his forehead to yours, never breaking eye contact.
C - Cuddle - how do they like to cuddle?
Sebastian is a squasher. He needs to feel physically close to you and will often forget this own size and strength in his desperation to hold you closer, closer, closer. He hugs you so tightly you can't breathe, or else lays his entire body weight on top of you when you're lying down together or sharing a bed. You often have to remind him to back up a little lest he squeeze the life outta you with his love.
D - Dates - what does their ideal date look like?
Sebastian is spontaneous and impulsive, but beneath all that bravado and charm, he is also quite afraid of rejection, so he might not always straight out "ask" you on a date. Rather, you might find yourself accidentally having dinner together at the Three Broomsticks, or huddled for hours in a cozy bookshop he "stumbled upon" at random. Sebastian considers any time spent alone with you a date, and would later tease you about how many "dates" you've already been on without ever being asked.
E - Equal - are they the dominant one in the relationship, or rather passive?
Generally speaking, Sebastian has a hard time relinquishing control to another. Given his history, he is used to taking charge, solving problems on his own and shouldering the burdens of everyone he cares about — and it goes without saying that he can be incredibly stubborn about accepting help or support, even when he genuinely needs it. However, this does tend to lead to mental and physical overwhelm; decisions become impossible, his body aches with exhaustion, and sometimes the boy just needs you to baby him — while still giving him the illusion that he has everything under control ;)
F - Fight - would they find it easy to forgive their partner? how are they fighting?
My personal headcanon that Sebastian is a Virgo sun, Aries rising. His Aries means he's reactive and oftentimes at the mercy of his more intense emotions (such as anger, jealousy — being ruled by Mars). He doesn't always communicate in a healthy way, he lashes out, snaps, or jumps to wild conclusions that don't make any sense. However, being a Virgo sun means he's ultimately a caregiver with a deep need to fix things and look after you, so he's very quick to apologise and make things right again.
G - Gifts - how do they feel about gift giving? what are their habits when it comes to this?
His gifts are either very practical (something you'll use every day), or something very sentimental (something that once belonged to his mother).
When it comes to receiving gifts, he doesn't believe he deserves them, so giving him something uselful like an interesting book, a set of quills, or a planner is the best way to spoil him without making him uncomfortable. However, if you gift him something sentimental, or something you made especially for him, he'll treasure it for the rest of his life.
H - Holding Hands - when / how do they like to hold hands?
If this boy can hold your hand, he will hold your hand, and if he can't hold your hand, he'll play with your fingers, trace the lines of your palms, brush his pinky against yours. You're his anchor, and your hands are the easiest part to hold on to.
I - Injury - how would they act if their partner got hurt?
Given his history with his parents and his twin, he is completely overbearing any time you're sick or injured. He'll fuss, worry, devise a strict recovery regime, won't allow you to lift and finger, and make you stay in bed long after you're well again. He'll research cures, studies, information about whatever it is that ails you, and will likely tell you all about it in great detail. This is where that lovely backbone of yours will come in handy, because you'll definitely have to sit him down and tell him to relax.
J - Jealousy - do they get jealous easily? how do they deal with it?
For all his wonderful strengths, Sebastian suffers from insecurities born from a lifetime of losing those he loves. His jealousy stems not from your actions, but from a deep-seated fear that you're eventually going to realise that he's as rotten as he believes himself to be and leave him. He can be a bit much, but communication is key.
K - Kisses - how do they like to kiss their partner?
Sebastian loves to kiss your face aaaall over, but once he gets started, he finds it hard to stop. Boy is a kisser, and he can get messy.
L - Love Language - what’s their love language?
Acts of Service and physical affection. Being useful gives him a sense of purpose, and touching gives him a sense of peace, so expect to be well looked after and loved. When receiving love, he responds just as strongly to physical affection, as well as words of affirmation. Tell him he's appreciated and that he's done a good job, and he'll be yours forever.
M - Mornings - how are mornings spent with them?
If you manage to get him into bed before he falls asleep where ever he's been reading or studying, it's a hard job rousing him again. He likes to cuddle, and you'll usually wake up half squashed under his body or tangled up in his arms and legs. He speaks in grunts and groans rather than words, and has super adorable bed hair. He's also usually very hungry in the mornings, so the promise of breakfast will be the motivation for finally getting him up.
N - Nights - how are nights spent with them?
Sebastian loves staying up late and doesn't need much sleep to function. His brain is always running a million miles a minute, so winding down takes him quite a while. He tells you he does his best work at night when the rest of the world is asleep.
O - Open - when would they start revealing things about themselves? how would they do it?
Typically Slytherin, he's evasive about himself and prefers to know everything about you before he opens up. Further to that, theres a lot of pain in Sebastian's heart that he won't share with anyone unless he trusts them completely. But, as Slytherins go, once he does trust you, he'll trust you unconditionally; his secrets will become yours, and yours his, and nothing short of death or betrayal will ever break that bond.
P - PDA - how comfortable are they with pda?
He's a real cheeky little smart arse about it. He loves you so much that he wants everyone to know about. He'll pick you up and spin you around as a standard greeting, sit you in his lap, kiss you midway through a sentence. Sebastian doesn't do things by halves, and the same goes for being in love.
Q - Quirk - what is a random ability that helps the relationship?
His optimism, his adventurous spirit and unquenchable thirst for knowledge means there's never a dull moment in your relationship. Above all else, Sebastian likes to have fun, and your life together will be full of it.
R - Romance - how romantic are they? cliche or creative?
There is nothing conventional or cliche about Sebastian Sallow. In fact, he thrives on being just the opposite. He probably courted you by acting like he was your boyfriend until suddenly he just was, there was likely never any conversation about being official, and the first time he said he loved you was probably in the middle of a heated argument or else said in a way that implied it was already common knowledge to you. But despite his quirks, Sebastian is hopelessly, singularly and passionately devoted to you — just don't expect any grand or sappy gestures of love.
S - Security - how protective are they?
Sebastian is so overprotective that it borders on being overbearing. Truth is, he's terrified of losing you, the one person he loves more than any other, and is prone to bouts of severe anxiety about your health, your commitment to him, and your general safety. His inability to relax is a point of contention in your relationship, and one that you both need to continually work on overcoming together. Communication is key, even when Sebastian jumps to conclusions and assumes the worst. He's not perfect, but he's trying.
T - Talking - what do they like to talk about?
Being a highly intelligent Slytherin means Sebastian loves getting deep. Nothing excites him more than discussing magical ethics, or taboo subjects like the Dark Arts or the use of the Dementors kiss against prisoners. He's unafraid to argue his point and loves a lively debate, but he has mental capacity to respect all viewpoints — even if they conflict with his own. He yearns to understand the inner workings of the mind and takes great pleasure in trying to understand opinions and perspectives that differ to his own. Any subject that expands or challenges his understanding of the world is taken on with great enthusiasm.
U - Understanding - how well do they know their partner?
He's a fast learner, very observant, and madly in love with you (obviously), so he knows basically everything about you. But sometimes he likes to think he knows you better than you know yourself. He needs to be reminded every so often that you are capable of looking after yourself, and that he doesn't need to solve every little problem on his own without being asked.
V - Vaunt - what are they proud of? do they like to show their partner off?
Aside from his intelligence, his quick wit and his sense of humour, he is most proud of his innate optimism, which (thanks to your help) has remained in tact despite all the tragedies and hardships he's endured in his comparatively short life. But more than that, he's proud to have you by his side: the embodiment of goodness and love that he never believed he deserved.
His egotistical side enjoys showing you off — you are, after all, the most attractive person he's ever seen, and having you by his side gives his confidence a little boost — but he can become a bit possessive or jealous if he's feeling insecure.
W - Whole - would they feel incomplete without their partner?
Abandonment issues and childhood trauma means Sebastian holds his loved ones very, very dear to his heart. Without you, he'd still be the driven, intelligent and ambitious Sallow he was born to be, but he'd likely lose the motivation to reach his full potential. Having lost every important person in his life, his desire to better himself after all his past mistakes is soley inspired by you.
X - XOXO - are they affectionate?
Physical affection is both how he expresses love and how he feels love; physical touch grounds him in reality and reminds him that you are safe and near. Smooth back his hair, tenderly touch his face, or play with his fingers and watch how fast he melts.
Y - Yearning - how well do they cope when they’re separated from their partner?
Since you are his home, he feels incomplete and off-kilter when he's away from you. And though he tries to honour your individuality, if you're apart for too long, he'll start to have intrusive thoughts about every bad thing that might happen if he's not there to protect you. Needless to say, when you are finally reunited, he greets as you if several decades have kept you apart — like a big, needy puppy.
Z - Zzz - what are some sleeping habits of theirs?
This boys sleeping habits are a nightmare, precisely because he has a lot of them. In fact, he actively avoids sleep, preferring to stay up reading or researching until he's tired enough to fall into an immediate slumber. Usually, you'll find him slumped over on a table or still snoring on the couch, still fully clothed, but if you do happen to get him into bed, he can't sleep without some part of his body touching yours.
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nichuuu · 8 months
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Beats Me - 5: Tamed
(Ryujin & Yeji)
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Being Yeji’s neighbour was more of a nightmare than you’d imagined.
Yes. The prospect of her threats of coming to your house and killing you becoming reality scared you shitless. You knew she meant every word she said. You did what you could to avoid her in your apartment complex, taking the stairs, making sure to leave the house slightly earlier so that you didn’t see her at the lift landing… But no matter what you did, avoiding her was one hell of a sisyphean task. She was just about everywhere. You bumped into her in the lobby, saw her in the nearby convenience store, crossed her at the laundry room… 
It was like she was teleporting to your location each time you left your flat. It didn’t help that the two of you were perpetually on the same bus to campus each morning. She never really said much to you, opting to shoot you with her signature glare that never failed to scare you out of your skin. You wished you could just shrink away from her gaze sometimes, cower from those sharp feline-like eyes that bore into your soul each time you looked into them. She was terrifying to say the least. 
“Sounds like a shitshow for you,” Ryujin mused, staring nonchalantly at the fry in her hand. You set down your drink. 
“Calling it a shitshow would be an understatement,” you corrected. “It’s more of a… Fuck, I don’t know what it is.”
Ryujin chuckled and dipped her fry into her ketchup. “So tragic for you yet so entertaining for us…”
She popped the soggy fry into her mouth and leaned back in her seat. The beeping coming from the Mcdonalds kitchen was starting to irk you more than it should’ve in the given moment. Next to Ryujin, Kwon Eunbi sighed and took a sip of her drink. 
“You ought to try and get friendly with her,” she advised. “If you don’t, it’s gonna be plain awkward. I for one don’t like the idea of being glared at on a daily basis…”
“How the hell do I even approach that woman?” You asked exasperatedly, “What do I say? Oh hey Yeji, I know you hate my guts and all but can we be chill?”
Putting her legs up on the table, Ryujin replied. “I think you could try that.”
“She would cut me in half just by looking at me,” you promptly shot back. Ryujin shrugged. 
“You never know… Might be worth a shot.”
Eunbi sighed and folded her arms. “Sorry Myeong-seok… You’re kinda on your own for this.”
Your lips formed a thin line as you buried your face in your hands. “I know… It makes this whole thing suck a little more than it has to.”
Karina cleared her throat next to you. “You could uh… You know… Try saying hi to her when you see her around?” 
“That sounds like suicide,” you told your pianist truthfully. 
“Being a decent human being doesn’t mean you’re insane,” Karina told you.
“But this is Yeji we’re talking about here,” you reminded her, “I barely even open my mouth around her and she already wants to murder me! What will happen if I say hello?”
Jimin clicked her tongue and drew in a breath. She must’ve remembered that Yeji had an unexplained vendetta against you. You felt like it was due to the fact that you showed up late on your first day. Then again… Who stays mad at someone for that long? You didn’t know Yeji well enough to know if she was the type to hold grudges against people. 
“I’ll try and talk to her one of these days,” Ryujin piped, “maybe I can find a way to get her to be less of a bitch around you, but you’ll eventually have to get around to talking to her you know?” 
“ Yea… I do,” you told her. Trying to talk to Yeji wasn’t exactly on your bucket list, but you knew that you’d eventually have to try and sort things out with her if the band chemistry was to improve. 
Eunbi’s phone started to ring. She picked it up off the table.
“I gotta take this. If you guys have to leave, go ahead,” she told you guys. She stood up and hurriedly walked out of the Mcdonalds. You took a look at your watch and noted that it was getting pretty late.
“I think I’m gonna make a move,” you told your band members, “see you guys.”
They all waved to you as you gathered your things. You waved goodbye to Eunbi on the way out, but she was too absorbed in her phone call to see you. You decided not to disturb her and set off to the nearest bus stop. A couple minutes of waiting and a rather unpleasant ride home later, you found yourself walking down the usual path you took to get home. As you set down the footpath, thunder rumbled off in the distance. You quickened your pace, hoping to get home before the sky opened up above you. 
The gate to the lobby was in sight, the faint warm glow from the lights within the apartment complex illuminating the small space before the door like a fireplace would on a cold winter night. The light was always rather comforting to you, it symbolised security and respite from a long day. 
“Hehe… Eat up little fella…”
Though you were just metres away from the door, the voice that travelled from your left made you halt in your tracks. There was a soft meow, followed by an even softer giggle. 
“There you go… You better lick this bowl clean.”
You refused to believe your ears. But when you turned to the source of the voice, your eyes only served to prove what your ears had made you conclude. 
The voice you heard was indeed Hwang Yeji’s. It sounded foreign at first, but then you realised it was because it had taken on a softer, warmer tone. Your guitarist was squatting before a metal bowl, a rare trace of a smile on her face as she watched a cat eat cat food out of the metal bowl before her. She giggled again, a little louder this time. 
“You look terribly skinny,” she muttered,  tilting her head as she examined the cat closely.  “You don’t have a collar… You must be a stray then…” 
She gingerly stretched out a hand towards the cat. It had dark brown fur, patches of white spotting its body. Her fingers gently rested themselves atop the cat’s head, her knuckles curling and uncurling as she softly scratched the top of its head. You could only stare in shock and awe as you took in this gentler side of Yeji. You’d never thought it’d be possible for her to display affection towards anything or anyone. 
You must’ve stood there longer than you should’ve, for Yeji sensed someone’s gaze on her and whipped her head towards you. Her eyes locked with yours. For a moment, you swore you saw shock behind her eyes, then curiosity… And then they reverted back to their usual coldness. 
“Fuck are you looking at Squeaker?” she spat. 
You snapped out of your trance. “O-Oh… I-I was just… Walking home…”
“Then keep walking home. Don’t bother me,” she replied, fixing you with her usual piercing glare. She turned back to the cat, clicking her tongue in annoyance as she continued to watch it eat. You took that as your cue to leave her with her feline friend and continued to walk back towards the gate of your apartment complex. 
“Myeong-seok!”
You turned back to see Hwang Yeju waving frantically as she ran towards you. In her arm, she cradled a loaf of bread and a six pack of beer. You could also make out a tray of eggs and a pack of sausages. The items looked like they were bound to fall at any second.
“M-Ms Hwang! Be careful!” You cautioned her, brisk walking towards Yeji’s sister. To your amazement, she was able to keep all the items within the cradle of her arm and stopped right before you. 
“Hello!” She greeted you bubbly, “did you just come back from school?”
“Y-Yea…” you answered. You pointed to the groceries in her hands. “Do you need me to take some of those?”
You didn’t expect her to thrust all of her groceries into your arms. 
“Thanks! You’re really sweet!” Yeju beamed, “by the way, thanks for lending us salt yesterday. I think the cooking would’ve been a disaster without it!” 
You didn’t know how this woman had this much energy this late in the night. Your best guess was that it was simply just her personality. Furthermore, this was her third time thanking you for letting her borrow salt. It weirded you out a little, but you figured that it was simply her nature. 
“N-No problem Ms Hwang,” you assured her. 
“We’ve been through this. Just call me Yeju!” she reminded you.
“R-Right… S-Sorry Yeju…”
The older girl smiled, radiating a glow brighter than the street lights. Yeji emerged from the alley. 
“Unnie, let’s go,” she said.
“Aww come on Yeji, at least talk to your neighbour for a bit!” Yeju argued. Yeji fixed her elder sister with a glare. 
“I would rather shove a burning hot pan up my ass,” she grunted, “let’s just go.”
Yeji walked past you. She tapped her card against the reader in the gate. “I’m not waiting for you!”
“Come back here Yeji!” Yeju called. Unfortunately, Yeji had already disappeared into the lobby. With a heavy sigh, Hwang Yeju dug for her keys in her pocket. 
“She’s a lot more cranky these days… Can’t put my finger on it,” she muttered, “sorry for my sister’s behaviour… She’s a little… You know…”
You waved it off. 
“I understand,” you assured the older girl. She seemed relieved.
“Great. Let’s go inside before it starts pouring.”
The two of you entered the lobby. She asked you about your day, how things were going—The usual friendly neighbour stuff. You rode the lift together with Yeji’s older sister, carrying her groceries all the way to her apartment door where she finally took them back from you. With a friendly wave and a chirpy goodbye!, she entered her apartment and left you out in the hallway. You slotted your hands into the pockets of your jeans. “What an interesting woman…”
You headed back to your own apartment just down the hall. 
For the rest of the week, you didn’t see much of Yeju, but the frequency at which you bumped into Yeji seemed to increase. The campus cafeteria—once a haven where you were certain that you would not see Yeji—had become a meeting ground for the two of you. You’d bump into her as she was getting food or travelling to her next classroom, even spotting her from the corner of your eye while you ate your lunch. She was icy as always, her signature look of disdain glued onto her face with super glue, silently berating you as you scuttled by. 
And then there was the cat. It appeared that Yeji would always come down at night to feed the stray in the alley near the complex, whispering to it in a hushed, tender tone. She’d be in the same spot, same position—Squatted just a few metres away from the alley entrance. You made the mistake of stopping and staring the first few times, but soon learnt to keep walking on without looking at her. 
That night as the rain lashed your umbrella and the wind howled incessantly, you walked down the familiar stretch of pavement. Band practice had ended and you’d turned down Eunbi’s offer for dinner to catch up on some work. The concrete was slick with rain water, the warm glow of streetlights reflected in the stream of water that flowed down the pavement. It was chilly. Not winter chilly, but  the type of cold that was unpleasant enough to make you want to huddle up at home with a nice hot drink—That type of chilly. The rain was merciless, fat droplets pelting your face as a gust of wind blew what felt like an ocean’s worth of water towards you. In hindsight, you realised that you may have been better off going to dinner with your singer. That way, you could at least wait out the rain before heading home. 
You walked by the convenience store. The lobby was just a few metres away now. 
“Here… This should keep you warm.” 
Under normal circumstances, you wouldn’t have stopped to look at Yeji. But under the assault of the storm, you couldn’t help but stop and turn to see if that truly was her talking to her feline friend in this weather. 
Sure enough, she was there. In a black raincoat with her hood up, you could make out the smiling features of Hwang Yeji as she slid something into a cardboard box. The box was beneath what looked like a small makeshift shelter, made from sticks and a plastic bag. It kept the rain from attacking the cardboard beneath it, sheltering its occupant from the storm. Yeji reached in and adjusted something, her mouth moving as she whispered something to the cat. You knew that it was in your best interest to set off by now, but you found yourself walking towards your guitarist. 
“There… That should do it,” she said. She’d wrapped a blanket around the cat, swaddling the shivering animal in warmth. Yeji folded the flaps of the box—by just a little—shielding her companion from the rain while giving it ample air to breathe. You stopped behind her, holding your umbrella out slightly such that it shielded the both of you from the rain. You knew that she could sense your presence from the way her shoulders tensed. 
“What did I say about bothering me?” she asked. 
“W-Well… You’d catch a cold if I just left you alone…” 
She turned to look at you. You could only see one of her eyes under the hood of her raincoat. 
Yeji pitched the wet raincoat. “Don’t you see I have this on?”
“I-I know. But the rain’s p-pretty heavy… You could catch a cold from this.”
Yeji clicked her tongue in annoyance.  “What do you take me for? Some girl who’s weak and helpless?”
“N-No! I-I just…” 
“Then why the fuck bother with me? Do you want something out of me?” Yeji retorted, rising from her position to look you in the eye.
The air that already felt dense because of the rain somehow grew denser. Yeji fixed you with one of her usual nasty glares. You felt something bubbling inside you—A balloon of frustration slowly growing and expanding, increasing in volume as it slowly rose up from your core to your throat. The fact that she’d taken your act of kindness for an act driven by the desire to achieve something didn’t sit well with you.
“I… I just wanted to help,” you told her sincerely.
“I don’t need your help. Go away.”
The balloon burst. 
“I don’t get it Yeji,” you began, unable to withhold the frustration from flooding your voice, “from day one, you’ve been at my throat, hounding and threatening me with snarky remarks. I don’t know if you only act this way towards me, but it’s seriously putting me off. I don’t know what I did to piss you off so much, nor do I understand how I’ve been able to piss you off to the extent that you literally despise me. Please, explain it to me.”
Yeji glared silently.  Then she squatted back down and faced the cat. 
“It’s… Not your fault.”
Your grip on your umbrella—that you didn't know had tightened—relaxed a little. “H-Huh?”
Yeji drew in a breath. “Go away.”
The roar of pattering raindrops on your umbrella seemed to go silent.
“W-Wait… What do you mean—”
“Go away or I’ll scream.”
You stood there for a moment. Then you slowly turned and retreated from your guitarist, leaving her vulnerable to the onslaught of water droplets from the sky once more. As you stood in the elevator, your mind seemed to be incapable of handling the creation of a mere string of thought. Yeji’s ambiguous line impacted you more than it should’ve. 
No work was done that night. Instead, you stared blankly at the login screen to your laptop, your fingers frozen on the keyboard. The cup of tea you’d made had gone cold long ago, the condensation on the inner walls of the cup flowing into the liquid and diluting it.
Why is this affecting me so much? I’m not even that close to her… 
You could figure out why Yeji’s statement screwed with you the way it did. However, an hour’s worth of thinking made you realise that it was the desire to receive her acceptance that drove you to care about this more than you should. You frustratedly smacked your forehead with your palm repeatedly, loud smacks carrying your confusement and frustration throughout your apartment. 
“Fuck. This band is messing me up…” you sighed. You took a sip of your lukewarm tea and cringed at its unnatural taste. It seems as though the tea was affected by your mood too. You felt the urge to talk to someone about what had happened, and when it came to Yeji, there was only one person that came to mind. 
From Shin Ryujin’s end, you could distinctly hear the sound of her cracking open a beer as you finished the last bit of your recount. 
“Hm…” your bassist mumbled, “I wonder what that could mean…”
You leaned back in your own chair and sighed. “This is bothering me more than it should. Is that weird? Am I weird?”
“Relax man. I think it’s just your nature,” she assured you, “don’t stress over this stuff, it’s alright to care sometimes.”
She belched loudly. You hurried to move the phone away from your ear.
“That’s fucking disgusting,” you muttered.
“Fuck you sideways Squeaker,” Ryujin retorted. She always had a thing for firing back with remarks that were beyond human imagination. “Anyway, thanks for telling me this. I’ll see if I can try to talk to her sister about it. Maybe she knows a thing or two.”
“Y-Yea… Maybe she does,” you echoed, “do you need help arranging a meeting? I can always just go down the hall and ask…”
“Shit. You live down the hall from Yeji?”
“Unfortunately. She moved in last week.”
There was a brief pause from Ryujin’s end. 
“Go get a six pack of beer for me,” she instructed, “I think I’m gonna be paying a house-warming visit.”
She followed you home from school the next night and retrieved the beer from your place. To your surprise, she’d actually bought a house warming gift for the Hwang’s. 
“The beer is simply a formality,” she told you, slinging the tote bag that contained her gift for the Hwangs over her shoulder. “It’s simply the warmer of souls, the pleaser of—”
“Just take the fucking beer and get out,” you told her. She grinned like a cheshire cat, satisfied that she’d managed to annoy you for the day. She went over to the Hwang residence without another word. You were relatively productive that night, burning through a decent amount of readings and completing two of the assignments that were due the next week. 
And then at 11pm, there was a knock on your door. You were lazing on your beanbag by then, mindlessly scrolling through Instagram and liking random images of capybaras. 
“Coming,” you muttered lazily. You rose and shuffled to the door. Two unexpected guests stood before you when you pulled the door open. 
“Hello!” Ryujin beamed. Next to her, Yeji grumbled something incoherent.
“W-What the…” you stammered. You were more shocked by Yeji’s presence than anything.
“Yeju wasn’t home,” Ryujin explained, waltzing into your apartment, “Yeji opened the door, I entered, cracked open a few beers, Yeji tried to chase me out, I pulled her out together with me, Yeji forgot her keys, here we are!”
The list of occurrences that tumbled from Ryujin’s mouth was nothing far from confusing. 
“I’m going to wait in front of my door,” Yeji muttered.
As the guitarist turned, Ryujin quickly strode over and grabbed her by the arm. “Nuh-uh.”
She dragged Yeji into your apartment and closed the door with her leg. “Let’s spend the time here! It’s so nice in Squeaker’s place!”
“She’s drunk,” Yeji told you.
“Not drunk! Tipsy!” Ryujin corrected, “if I were drunk, I would be slurring my sentences, but I’m not! Take that bitch!”
Yeji rolled her eyes. “This is ridiculous. I’m leaving.”
Ryujin blocked the door with her body. 
“You ain’t going nowhere kitty,” Ryujin smiled.
“Ryujin. Move,” Yeji growled. 
“Or what? What are you gonna do Yeji?” 
Yeji sighed and tried to push your bassist aside. With surprising agility, Ryujin grabbed Yeji’s wrist, pinning it against the wall in a swift movement. 
“W-What the hell! Let me go!” Yeji demanded. Ryujin grinned. 
“Nah-ah,” she replied.
Yeji futilely attempted to wrest herself from Ryujin’s grip. The bassist stayed smirking, catching her friend’s hand as she tried to push her away—Yeji’s other hand was pinned against the wall. 
“Relax kitty,” Ryujin whispered to her, “you’re being a very bad girl.”
“R-Ryujin! Don’t you dare!” Yeji warned. The panic was apparent in her voice. 
That was the first…
 Ryujin's smirk seemed to get even more smug . “Why not? We’ve done it before haven’t we?”
“T-That was a one off! I-I was drunk!” Yeji reasoned. 
Ryujin silenced her with a finger on her lips. “You enjoyed it last time, didn’t you?” 
“R-Ryujin… Please…” Yeji pleaded, “n-not here…”
Ryujin casted a glance in your direction.
“Why? You afraid Squeaker’s gonna let the whole world know about this?” she questioned Yeji. 
“Ryujin…” Yeji tried. 
When Ryujin shoved her knee in between Yeji’s legs, you knew that Yeji’s fate was sealed. You had no idea that Shin Ryujin of all people would be able to tame someone as fierce as Yej—Yet there she was, making the impossible possible.
“Anything else before we go on?” Ryujin questioned. Yeji opened her mouth, then she closed it. 
Yeji shook her head. Ryujin beamed.
“Neat,” your bassist mused, “we’ll have a fun time tonight.”
She was quick to drag Yeji over to the beanbag you were on just minutes ago. Then—rather boldly—Ryujin gripped Yeji’s T-shirt and ripped it right off her. 
“H-Hey!” Yeji cried, arms shooting across her chest to cover her vulnerable areas. “H-He’s right there!” 
“Oh relax, will you?” Ryujin scoffed, “he’s respectful. Isn’t that right Squeaky?” 
You flashed an awkward smile. You hoped that Yeji couldn’t see the tent in your pyjama pants.
“Come over here and help me,” Ryujin requested. 
“I-I… I really don’t think I should,” you reasoned, “I-I don’t think she wants me to touch her…”
“Does that really matter right now?” Ryujin rebutted. 
When you continued to stand there awkwardly, Ryujin rolled her eyes. “Ugh… No fun.”
She tugged Yeji’s shorts down, letting them fall and pool around her ankles. Yeji quickly moved and covered up her private parts. She looked rather uncomfortable.
“Ryujin,” you cautioned your bassist, “I-I don’t think we should—”
“I don’t need you being a wet blanket right now,” she chided, “if you aren’t joining, just sit out and watch.”
Every fibre of your body was urging you to just walk over right there and then. However, your conscience told you that doing so wouldn’t be wise. When Ryujin saw that you still remained in your spot, she scoffed. “Lame…”
She pushed Yeji down onto the beanbag. Yeji yelped as she fell into it, a gasp quickly following up as Ryujin fell atop of her.  Ryujin manoeuvred around Yeji’s body to remove the bra from her body. She succeeded and threw it away. In a flash, Ryujin herself was topless, her clothes adding on to the growing pile next to the beanbag. Her lips found Yeji’s, a sloppy makeout session ensuing.
Ryuin continued to assert her dominance over Yeji. Her right hand slowly made its way downward, until it reached the waistband of the simple, white panties Yeji wore. Spending not more than a second or two there, she reached further. The tips of her slim fingers quested below the thin cotton. When they reached a certain point, the gasps and soft sounds escaping Yeji’s lips cleared for a full moan of pleasure as Ryujin’s fingertips finally reached her most intimate parts. The moment that moan left Yeji’s mouth, you could see the smirk on Ryujin’s face grow wider. It was like she’d found a treasure.
From then, Ryujin refused to cease her assault on the guitarist’s body. Her left hand slid down the waistband of Yeji’s panties until the thin, tiny slip of fabric was halfway down the guitarist’s hips, giving her more than enough access to Yeji’s slick heat. You watched as Ryujin’s middle finger disappeared between Yeji’s legs. The rest of her hand covered your view—But the look on Yeji’s pleasure-stricken face told you all you needed to know regarding what that middle finger was doing.
“Look how fucking hot she is,” Ryujin said, her words dripping with lust, “she’s so fucking wet.”
Yehi let her loudest moan yet escape her lips. The sudden thrust and twist of Ryujin’s wrist tells you that she had penetrated the other girl with her fingers. Yeji’s legs close around her friend’s hand. 
“Fuck… Just as tight as the last time,” Ryujin smirked.
You found yourself squirming in place as your shaft continued to strain painfully against your pants. 
“I think you’ll like fucking her,” Ryujin stated, her voice taking on a softer tone, “She’ll be tight and wet for you… I bet you’d cum so quickly… A fucking shame that you’re choosing to miss out on this.”
Ryujin’s ring finger slipped between Yeji’s legs. You knew full well it had joined her middle finger inside Yeji’s body. Yeji’s legs seemed to have turned to jelly. Ryujin’s body covers Yeji’s bare skin, so you let your gaze roam up Ryujin’s toned back. And there, just to the left of Ryujin’s well shaped shoulders, you saw a pink nub rise and fall with each of Yeji’s laboured breaths.
Pink nipples—Yeji had pink nipples.
Yeji’s features—Usually fierce and full of anger—were twisted, wracked and contorted—Pleasure and lust coursed through her system, making her squirm beneath her friend. Her eyes, half-lidded with pleasure, stared up at the ceiling. Her mouth formed a perfect “O” as wordless sounds of pleasure left her lips.
“So tight… And she’s fucking drenched… Little slut,” Ryujin hissed. 
It all quickly becomes too much for the guitarist to handle. The pleasure of it all… It threatened to overwhelm her senses.
“Ryujin, I… Ryujin—” Yeji said quickly, as though she was barely able to form the words, “I’m going to…”
“You like being fingered? You like how I mess up your insides, don’t you Yeji?”
The guitarist’s only response was a long, passionate moan. She was suddenly unable to form words with her mouth. Every sound that escaped her was a moan of pleasure or a noise of the sort. It was like her brain had shut off, the pleasure in her system pushing the ability to think right out of her being.
“Do you like my fingers? Do you like getting finger fucked Yeji?”
Yeji squirmed. Her eyes shut as she moaned softly. It was like she was suddenly ashamed of how quickly and completely she had allowed Yeji to dominate her body and manipulate it to her liking. Ryujin moved her left hand to cup Yeji’s left breast, the index finger and thumb capturing her exposed, hardened nipple and giving it a soft squeeze. 
“Fucking cum Yeji.”
On cue, Yeji let out a scream. Her legs spasmed as an orgasm wracked her body. For several long seconds, Yeji writhes in pleasure beneath the bassist.  Ryujin turned and smiled devilishly at you. It was as if she was asking you whether you liked the little show she had just given you. She rose, leaving Yeji’s sweaty, heaving body on your bean bag as she strutted over. 
“I feel generous tonight,” she told you. Her hand grips your chin, tearing your gaze away from the guitarist before you can even take in her body. 
“Your table should hold my weight, right?” she asked. You nodded numbly. Wordlessly, she saunters over and clears a space for her to sit. Swiftly, she undid the belt that held up her baggy jeans, letting the denim fall off her slender legs. Her panties were off even quicker. 
You smiled devilishly as you undid your own pants and took your cock in one hand. You approached Ryujin, placing your shaft on Ryujin’s wanton pussy and dragging the head up and down her moist, dripping lips. 
Ryujin licked her lips. “She’s watching. Let’s give her a show, shall we?”
Grasping Ryujin’s legs, you raised them so that her calves were on your shoulders. Reaching down and placing your tip at her opening, you slowly pushed inside her. Entering Ryujin elicited a deep, lustful moan from her. You hear a soft set of footsteps approaching from behind. Yeji walked up next to the two of you. She knelt down, eyes glued on your cock that was buried inside her friend.
“T-Tell me how he feels,” Yeji requested.
“Fuck…” Ryujin gasped, unable to answer as you filled her completely. Your hips now touch her soaked, hot crotch as you bottomed out inside her heat. She savoured the feeling of being filled by you once more.
“He’s so big, Yeji,” Ryujin hissed, not taking her eyes away from yours, “he’s so big and thick and he’s fucking stretching me out… I think—”
Her moan cuts through her sentence. You’d cut short Ryujin’s descriptions as you began to move. Slowly, you drew your cock out from her tightly gripping pussy for the first time, savouring the feel of her lips wrapped tightly around your hard shaft as it tried to pull you back into her. You heard Yeji gasp at the sight of your cock drenched in slick, thick pussy juices. 
You drove back into Ryujin. Before long, you’ve settled into a slow but steady rhythm. You took your time, letting Yeji have a long glimpse of your cock as it appeared from between Ryujin’s glistening pussy before disappearing once more into the girl’s tight body. Ryujin was quickly reduced to a quivering, moaning mess as you fucked her. Gone was the girl that dominated Yeji just minutes before.
Her hands gripped the edge of your table with knuckle white grips, her mind and body relishing every thrust you made into her body. Words, cusses, moans… They spilled freely from her lips. 
“Oh, fuck! Fuck me just like that… Fuck me slow… Make me… Feel… Every inch of you! He’s so big, Yeji! He feels so fucking good inside me!”
You tore your gaze from Ryuin’s writhing body.  Yeji had begun to work her hand between her milky legs, her left hand clutching her right breast. You watched eagerly as she captured the pinkness of her nipples between her index and middle finger, delivering a small amount of pressure to the perky nubs.
With a foreign tone of lust, she drawled. “Fuck her… Fuck her harder…”
You grinned as the girl finally give into her desires. Her pleasure must’ve been heightened as she watched the erotic scene play out in front of her. You grasped Ryujin’s thighs and speared yourself deeper and deeper into the girl, using her long limbs as leverage to make each thrust harder than the last.
For long minutes, you fucked her like that. Her toned, slim body rocked back and forth helplessly on the table, her round breasts bouncing wantonly with each impact of your hips into her hot body..
“Oh, fuck! Yes! Fuck me harder… As hard as you want! O-Oh! Fuck YES!”
Ryujin is more than happy to let you have your way with her body. You knew from all the time you’d spent with her that she was more than comfortable with rough sex. Unreserved, you let loose and began o truly fuck her the way she wanted, the way she yearned, the way she loved to be fucked. 
Pounded. That was it—Shin Ryujin loved getting pounded.
You let her legs fall from your shoulders. You spread her thighs, a palm on each one before forcing her onto her left side. Keeping her right leg in the air, you continued to fuck her, giving Yeji the perfect view of your cock as it slid in and out of her friend’s pussy.
The new position drives Ryujin mad. Your first few thrusts into her wet, tight pussy were your indication. Her moans and gasps continued, higher in pitch and louder in volume as you drove deeper and faster into her pussy. The wet, slick sounds of her juices and the wet flesh around your cock reverberates through the apartment as you continued to fuck the mewling, moaning girl. Between her splayed lips, you could feel the heat radiating from her core surrounding your shaft.
“Oh god, Yeji he’s… he’s so big inside me. He’s fucking me so good!”
“How… how does your pussy f-feel, Ryujin?”
“It feels… So good… So full of his cock… M-Mmmmph… I’m so fucking wet! I'm gonna... I'm gonna...”
It was all quickly becoming too much to handle—Watching Yeji be used and Yeji watching you use her friend. Your own peak was rapidly approaching.
“Fuck… I’m gonna cum soon.”
“Don’t stop, please don’t stop fucking me!” Ryujin cried. “Mmmm, I’m getting close!”
“I… I’m cumming!” you heard. The voice was not from Ryuin, but from Yeji. The guitarist was a squirming mess on her knees, her body wracked with spasms as she orgasmed. You tore your gaze from Ryujin to watch as Yeji quivered and shook in her place, her hand working busily between her thighs as the rest of her body straightened involuntarily in pleasure.
“Ohh.. oh, I’m cumming!” Ryujin exclaimed. She took your attention back once again. Her pussy pulsated, squeezing you tightly—The signal of her impending orgasm.
“Where—”
“Inside me!” she answered, cutting you off, “inside me, please! Fill me… Fill me with your cum!”
She came first. The tightening of her spasming pussy around your shaft quickly drove you to orgasm as well. Burying yourself as deep as you can within her hot, slick pussy, you erupted.
Your cock sent stream after stream of thick, hot semen into her body. She tightened around you, squeezing your cock tightly and milking you of every drop. You let yourself savour every second of it, the feel of Ryujin’s body wrapped around you, the feel of her wet walls being painted with cum, the sound of her and Yeji’s moans filling your ears. You were certain that this was paradise.
You stood there exhausted. Soon you finally slipped out of her body with a slick pop. Ryujin turned onto her back, too exhausted to do anything further. White, thick liquid oozes between the splayed lips of her freshly fucked pussy, before a thick stream began to flow from her body onto her flushed thighs and your table.
“Oh fuck…” Ryujin heaved, “that… That was fucking hot…”
She let her legs dangle off the table, keeping them spread as she looked over to her friend on her knees. “Come here and clean me up Yeji.”
The girl eagerly rose from her knees and knelt back down in front of Ryujin’s still spread legs. She doesn’t waste any time, diving in and licking the thick white cum that flowed from your bassist’s pussy like it was a delicacy. Ryujin hummed softly, basking in the pleasure at the feel of Yeji’s tongue attacking her still sensitive lips. When Ryujin had enough, she pushed Yeji’s head away. You swore you saw a hint of disappointment on Yeji’s face.
She slid off the desk. You caught her, holding her steady as she found her footing on her jelly-like legs. 
“Shit… I need to sleep,” she muttered, “Squeaker, carry me to your bed, will you?” 
You complied. You laid her down on your mattress as gingerly as you could, making sure to pull the covers over her nude body. Then, you went over to your cupboard and pulled out a shirt.
“Where… Are you going?” Ryujin asked as you were about to head out.
“I’m just passing this to Yeji,” you told her, “she’ll need this.”
Ryujin hummed and turned on her side. “Sleep next to me when you come back.”
You walked out. Yeji had put her bra and shorts back on and was gathering what was left of her shirt.
“H-Hey,” you called. You walked over and handed the shirt to her. “You’ll need to cover up. H-Have this.”
Yeji stared at the shirt for a moment. It was one of those old anime shirts you picked up from the thrift store. It would definitely be baggy on Yeji’s small frame, but it was all you could really offer her. 
You thought that she’d smack your hand away and tell you to fuck off or something. To your surprise—and some delight—she gingerly took the shirt from you. Wordlessly, she slipped it on. 
“Thanks,” she voiced, “I’ll go now.”
You walked her to the door and opened it for her. “I-Is Yeju back to open the door?”
“S-She should be,” Yeji replied.
“R-Right then… H-Have a good night,” you wished her. She looked at you for a moment. You were certain she was going to call you a slur.
“G-Good night,” she wished back, “I-I’ll see you tomorrow for practice...”
Yeji hugged herself and hurried down the hall. You figured that the embarrassment had made her act like this. Tomorrow, she’d go back to cussing you out like a sailor.
You returned to your room after locking up. Ryujin had fallen fast asleep by then, snoring rather loudly as you silently slipped into the space next to her. 
***
“You think she’ll be awkward when she sees us?” Ryujin asked as the two of you got off the bus. 
“She’ll be fine with you, but she’s gonna kill me,” you muttered. 
Ryujin cackled. “Ah… So this whole thing is no longer my problem!”
You shot her a glare.
“You were the one that initiated things. It still is your problem,” you told her.
“Hey. You both enjoyed it didn’t you?” she smirked. 
“That doesn’t negate the fact that you started the whole thing!” you argued.
“What are you guys getting so heated over?” 
You turned. Kim Chaewon gazed at the both of you, a blank expression on her face. 
“Oh. Hey Chaewon,” Ryujin waved, “we were just having friendly banter. We aren’t gonna kill each other if that’s what you’re worried about.”
Chaewon gazed intently at Ryujin for a moment, then transferred her gaze back to you. “So I was that forgettable huh?”
You blinked. “W-What?”
“You’ve already moved on, haven’t you?” Chaewon questioned, “getting yourself involved in a band with a bunch of girls like I was never important. You’re fucking disgusting.”
Chaewon shoulder-checked you as she walked past, making sure to let her trumpet case strike your shin as well. You winced, a sharp pain shooting up your leg. 
“Fuck,” you hissed. Ryujin quickly held onto you.
“That girl is psycho,” she told you. 
“Bratty is a better word,” you replied, “please don’t tell me she’s gonna join the band…”
Ryujin pursed her lips. “Well… Judging from the fact that she has her trumpet case with her on a Friday—I’d say that Eunbi managed to get through to her.”
“Christ on a fucking pike,” you sighed, “Yeji was enough for me to handle already…”
The pain was slowly fading now. You tapped Ryujin’s shoulder. “I think I can walk this off,”
Your bassist let go of you, letting you walk forward on your own for a bit before jogging up to you.
“Chin up Squeaker,” she assured you, “I’m sure that there’s a way to achieve peace in our band.”
You sure as hell hoped so. If not—you were in for one hell of a ride.
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fvllingflower · 1 year
Text
FVCK ABOUT IT
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pairing: nonidol!wonwoo fem!reader ft a little bit of changkyun
genre: angst, fwb to lovers, smut
warning: mentions of alcohol, possesive friends with benefits, jealous wonwoo, making out, oral (f receiving), unprotected sex (pls use protection), ass play, spanking, rough sex, back scratching, aftercare.
song recommendation: fuck about it by waterparks
☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
Friends with benefits is what you and Wonwoo agreed upon. You also agreed with him that if one of you grew feelings for one another then you two will break it off. Of course you wouldn't listen to those rules nor would Wonwoo...
You loved every aspect of him. Sure you loved the sex but you enjoyed the aftercare more, seeing the caring side of Wonwoo melts your heart every time. You also loved how he cuddled your body as you two slept.
____
You walked into his apartment due to him giving you a spare key and you walked into his bedroom to realize he was finishing showering... he came out of the bathroom surprised to see you sitting on the bed.
"Oh Y/N I thought I'd be seeing you later," He sounded shocked. You didn't reply you just looked at him.
"You want me already?" He asked and you shook your head.
"Sit down," You mumbled.
"Let me get dressed first," He caressed your hand. He went to his closet and grabbed some clothes and was about to change in the bathroom.
"Won I've seen you've naked already," You reminded him and he nodded. He changed in front of you before sitting down next to you.
"What's up?" He asked, looking at you with those cat like eyes you love.
"Can we talk about... us," You looked at him.
"What about us?" He asked.
"I- um..." You felt nervous.
"Do you wanna have like a friendly date?" You just threw away what you really were gonna say.
"Oh? Yeah sure," He smiled. He kissed your forehead before standing up.
"At first I thought you wanted to end our arrangement," He chuckled. Your heart clenched though knowing that is what you wanted to talk about but felt afraid.
You two went to the park just walking around while talking about whatever. Your hand felt empty though, you wanted to hold his hand, but you knew he didn't want to mislead people about your relationship.
"Oh yeah I forgot to mention there's a company party I have to attend tomorrow," He mentioned.
"What about it?" You asked.
"Would you like to be my date?" He asked with a smile plastered. You wanted to slap that smile off his face. Does he know all he is doing is leading you on? It pisses you off.
"Yeah sure," You shrugged.
_____
Tomorrow came and you felt a form of panic. You wore a blood colored dress that hugged every curve of your body. You fixed up your hair and put on a red lip to match the dress. You heard a knock on the door and rushed. You grabbed your purse and your shoes, rushing to put the heels on. You opened the door to see Wonwoo in a suit.
"Wow... you look gorgeous," He complimented.
"Thank you, you look good yourself," You smiled.
"Are you ready to go?" He asked and you nodded. You guys stepped outside the complex and you realized you should've brought a jacket. Wonwoo must've noticed that you were cold cause he took off his blazer and placed it around you.
"Oh! Thank you," You smiled at him.
When you two arrived at the company, and you could feel eyes glued onto you. You reached for Wonwoo's hand and squeezed it letting him sense your distress. You guys found your booth and sat down beside each other.
"You okay?" He whispered.
"I feel like everyone is staring at me," You mumbled and he held your hands.
"They're just stunned by your beauty," He wooed.
"Won, I'm serious," You looked at him.
"I am too," He spat back.
"But if you feel so uncomfortable just let me know and we can go home okay," He smiled softly and you nodded.
"I'm gonna go get a drink," You stood up.
You walked away from him and walked towards the bar. God it felt like this place was filled with men, were there no women to help you or did they just not care? You got to the bar and sat down. You called the bartender over and ordered your drink. As you waited, a man came over to you. He was quite handsome, he looked average height, his hair was slicked back but some hairs still managed to set free against his face.
"Hi beautiful, what you doing here all alone?" He asked.
"I'm actually here with my.. friend but they're over there," You smiled.
"Mhm would you like me to keep you company?" He asked.
"Yeah sure," You agreed. He sat down next to and you guys started chatting it up. You almost forgot about Wonwoo being in the same building.
"Okay okay, dumbest thing you agreed on?" He asked and didn't have to think you knew what the answer was for you.
"Friends with benefits, for sure," You answered laughing. Changkyun looked surprised by the answer.
"Well Miss Y/N I wouldn't have seen you as the type to have done friends with benefits," He teased and you jokingly slapped his arm. Suddenly a really romantic song started playing and you saw couples go onto the floor and start slow dancing. You sighed and looked back at Changkyun.
"Do you wanna dance?" He asked.
"No it's fine plus I don't even know how to slow dance," You smiled weakly.
"Come on it's easy," He grabbed your hand and led you onto the dance floor. He placed your arms around his neck and his hands on your waist. You couldn't lie, you loved how this felt, it felt so romantic even though you two just met, you felt something, maybe it's because you imagined doing this with Wonwoo instead. As Changkyun and you were making eye contact you couldn't help but feel someone else staring at you, you just decide to ignore it. You guys walked back over to the bar after the song finished. Changkyun and you gave each other your numbers since he had to leave. Once he left, you walked back over to Wonwoo who looked pissed.
"Lets go home," He demanded and you followed. You guys entered his apartment and you took off his jacket and sat it on the counter.
"What the fuck was that?" He asked coldly.
"What?" You seemed confused.
"That guy!" He added.
"Oh Changkyun, he's a sweet guy," You smiled.
"Sweet guy," He mocked.
"What the hell is wrong with you?" You snapped back at him and he glared at you.
"You, you're my problem! You dancing with other guys, flirting with other guys! You're mine!" You looked at shocked.
"I'm not yours! For fuck sakes we're friends with benefits! I'm going home," You were about to walk off but Wonwoo grabbed your wrist and pulled you towards him and kissed you hungrily.
As your lips fought, he was walking backwards into the bedroom. He slowly was unzipping your dress and once you two got into the bedroom he unzipped it all the way and you let it drop to the floor. He got on his knees and pushed down your panties, and looked at you with begging eyes. You nodded and he dived into your folds. He didn't take anytime to breath, he was more focused on your pleasure than anything. You gripped his hair and started thrusting against his face. Once you released all on his face, he looked up at you and licked his lips. He took his fingers to his nose and wiped the excess of your releases, he stood up and held his fingers in your face. Knowing what to do you leaned forward and sucked on his fingers. He pulled his fingers out and just smirked.
"My greedy girl," He muttered.
You walked towards him, getting rid off any excess room and you started unbuttoning his shirt. As you were unbuttoning, his hands went to your back and unhooked your bra. You took off his shirt and you started making out again. In the midst, he bit your bottom lip making you whine. He picked you up and laid you down on the bed and turned you to be laying on your stomach. He slapped your ass and then massaged it and then slapped it again making you whimper. His hand went down to your clit and collected some of your juice and he spread it along his dick.
"You're so wet honey," He smirked.
"All cause of you," You muttered.
"Is that so? You weren't thinking of that Changkyun?" He gritted.
"No just you- oh fuck," You moaned loudly at the feeling of him entering you.
Once you adjusted he started thrusting fast and rough making you grip the bedsheets. The grip on your hips you swear, he'd leave a bruise. His hands slipped back to your ass as he started squeezing and moving it up and around suddenly he slapped your ass hard making you yelp.
"Oh fuck Wonwoo!" You cried.
He leaned over and started placing kiss along your shoulder before going back to thrusting roughly. He then suddenly pulled out and flipped you onto your back. He slid back into your hole. He started thrusting fast again, all while keeping eye contact with you watching every time your face contorted, watching your boobs move, watching him make a mess out of you. His pace getting quicker, your hands on his back scratching like a cat. He leaned over and you started making out messily, now one of your hands moved to his hair. As he continued to thrust, it brought closer and closer to your climax. You suddenly released all over him but he didn't care he continued fucking you, like it's the last day on Earth. Soon he snapped and released.
When he pulled out, he pushed back to excess releases into your hole. He laid down next to you as you regained your breathing. He leaned onto his side and kissed your shoulder. He got up and came back with a wash cloth to clean you up. You winced at the sudden contact as you were still sensitive. Once he finished cleaning you up. He put some clothes on and handed you some spare clothes that you kept in his apartment. Once you two were clothed, Wonwoo got back into bed and placed your legs on his lap as he began massaging your legs.
"I'm sorry if I was too rough on you," He apologized and seemed to mean it.
"It's okay, I kinda liked it," You hid your face due to embarrassment.
"Don't hide your face. You're so cute when you're shy," He smiled and kissed your lips. He went back to paying attention to your legs.
"Wonwoo..." You mumbled and he looked up at you, letting you know he's listening.
"I think we should break off our agreement," You looked away.
"Why? Did I do something wrong?" He looked scared. Scared to lose you.
"No, you did nothing wrong. I did something wrong." You sat up and held his hands as you looked down.
"I gained feelings for you," You sounded ashamed in yourself. Suddenly you just hear Wonwoo chuckle.
"Why are you laughing?" You scolded.
"We can still work out, just in different way," He smiled and leaned in to kiss you softly. Somehow every time he kisses you like that, he manages to make you blush.
"As in I'll just be your boyfriend," He smiled against your lips. Realizing his words you smiled stupidly and kissed him passionately. You ended up on top of his body as you kept kissing him.
"I'll take this as a yes," He smiled.
"Yes yes yes, a billion times yes," You held his face and kissed him again.
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tinydefector · 2 months
Note
quietly whispers (for your consideration)
ratchet x human reader
sex pollen
Pheromones
Ratchet x human reader
Word count: 2k
Warning: smut, thigh fucking, sex pollen/ pheromone spray, #valveplug
Request and ask open, read pinned post
So what about, Cybertronians react to perfume in the way humans react to Sex pollen hehehe. I love the idea of human perfume mix with skin contact makes an almost intoxicating scent and sends Cybertronians feral when they get a hint of it. They love how it makes humans skin taste, and it over rides their interface systems.
So enjoy.
_____________
The human moves around Ratchet's medical lab looking at different vials and flasks their eyes flickering over the difference Liquids. " Hey ratchet what are all of these different vials?" They call out to the medic. Ratchet looked up from his work when he heard the human call out to him. He put down the datapad he was looking over and walked over to where the human was examining the various vials on the shelves.
"Those are different medical compounds and chemicals I use in treatments and repairs," Ratchet explained. "The colourful ones contain powerful medications and sedatives. The clear ones hold things like bonding agents or nanite solutions. Others are a mix of experimental solutions" 
He pointed to a vial with a swirling pink and purple liquid. "That one is a broad-spectrum energon healing compound I developed. It speeds cellular repair and regeneration, within Cybertronian functions." His optical ridges furrowed as he watched the human carefully look over each vial. 
"You know better than to touch anything in here, less you break something and contaminate yourself with something i can't fix" Ratchet said sternly. "Some of this equipment and chemicals could seriously harm an organic being like yourself." Despite his gruff tone, his words held more care than scolding. Biology was complex, and humans were so small and fragile compared to Cybertronians. He hoped his favourite little patient and helping hand was being careful not to endanger themselves.
"It's just fascinating is all, kinda reminds me of a mediaeval apothecary" they chuckle. "Do you ever just take samples for fun, like when you're out and about on planets?" They ask, they were always curious over what things ratchet tended to keep.
Ratchet huffed a small laugh at the comparison to a mediaeval apothecary. "Fascinating perhaps, but also dangerous if mishandled," he remarked.
He considered the human's question for a moment. While most of his samples were acquired for medical necessity, he couldn't deny a certain curiosity about other life forms and ecosystems. 
"On occasion I have collected specimens from planets we've visited, simply for observational study," Ratchet admitted.  He walked over to retrieve a data pad containing photos and analyses of plant samples from their recent away missions. "Here, let me show you some I recorded on our last stop." Ratchet enlarged the images for the human to easily see. "This radiation-resistant lichen seems to secrete a natural antifreeze. And these fungi act as natural air filters in their toxic environment." The medic's optics glinted with interest as he discussed his findings. Perhaps exploration held some appeal, even for a skeptic like himself.
They stand close to Ratchet looking over different specimens, “some of these plants look like they would make really nice perfumes'' they mumble while flicking through the different photos reading the small information bubbles around them. As the human stood near Ratchet examining the data on his specimens, something about their scent suddenly registered in his olfactory sensors. An overly sweet aroma was emanating strongly from their skin, but it was clearly not the normal scent of an unadulterated human.“perfume?forgive me, I'm not accustomed to what that is?” he asked with a raised optical ridge
Their eyes flicker to Ratchet. “It's like scented alcohol or oil we put on our skin, most times it alters our scent. We humans happen to have a big fascination with them, and have millions of different perfumes.” they explain before tilting their head in slight amusement. “I'm surprised Cybertronians don't have something similar” they reply. 
“once millennia's back cybertron did try making things like that, but due to our metallic body's it doesn't stay on us, or it tented to cause rust spots from the ones they did try and make” Ratchet explained, sensors flared as he analysed the unfamiliar composition, immediately detecting unusual chemical traces that seemed to send strange pulses through his neurocircuitry. The smell was strangely enticing yet worryingly off-kilter at the same time. He tried venting deeply to clear his nasal chamber but the scent only grew stronger. 
"What in the Allspark..." the medic muttered, not meaning for the human to hear. His optics dimmed slightly as redundant calibrations ran, trying to make sense of why the scent was affecting his processor. Ratchet crouched down and focused his sharp gaze on the human in concern. They smile up at him offering for him to examine. 
"By my scanner  it seems as if you've been contaminated with something. Are you positive these ‘perfumes’ are safe? I need to analyse your system for potential toxins." He asked while trying to figure out why the scent was having such an effect on him, it was as if his processor had thrown care to the wind. 
They let out a laugh as his optics try analysing, he moves closer taking another inhale of their scent "haha yes Ratchet, it isn't harmful, humans have been using it for hundreds of years" they state. “Ratchet are you alright?” They ask while cupping his face. 
Ratchet's sensors were in disarray as the potent scent overwhelmed his circuits. He vented heavily again, coolant failing to properly flush the heated energon now racing through his fuel lines. His optics flickered with minor instability as calibration errors cropped up across multiple systems.
Though lacking his usual gruffness. Ratchet leaned in closer, trying to pinpoint the source, but only succeeded in inhaling more of the intoxicating aroma. A rumble rose in his chassis against his better judgement. “ your scent...", he struggled to find words between fragmented logic protocols. "It's affecting my sensor net. Overloading my functions. I need to...run a full examination. Determine why this perfume is making your scent overwhelming..." 
His field pulsed with uncharacteristic confusion and static electricity. Ratchet knew he should contact someone for assistance, but found himself unable to call out in his muddled state. The human's safety was his top concern, yet he feared touching them in this condition. Some natural, impossible chemistry was at play here, and the medic had no control over his compromised systems.
As gently as his shaking grip allowed, Ratchet grasped the human in his large palm to properly scan them from close range. His detailed medical scanners searched every inch, They gasp as Ratchet glossa meets their throat, fingers shootout to grip the side of his faceplate. 
A throttled moan escaped his vocalizer against his will. That light touch from their hands nearly shorted out his already fritzing systems. vents plume in hot exhaust. His interface panel felt too hot and tight , barely clinging to integrity protocols as the pleasure centres of his processor went haywire. 
“your scent...overloading my sensory net...cannot...resist...” Ratchet calls out through groans,his grip unconsciously tightened around the small organic in his hand. His free hand scrambled for purchase on the table, denting the metal. Something primal and powerful part of him was unravelling his mental restraints, and no calibration or forced shutdown seemed able to stop it.
Their eyes go wide. "Ratchet! Are you alright do in need to get a Perceptor or first aid?" They ask as the medic leans down into their shoulder, denta nipping at the skin as his digits try removing their shirt as quickly as he physically can. They yelp as he pulls them back together with him, his lips work along their smaller frame desperate to taste the sweet flavour and scent that had taken to their skin. capturing them against his heaving chassis. His optics blazed with static and uncontrolled charge.
"No...don't leave," Ratchet growled through clenched denta. Every fibre of his being screamed for more. His panel snapping open with an echoing click, massively engorged cables twitching in the open. Coolant and lubricant poured from his interface array, drenching the human involuntarily as he grinding against them, bright glowing pink stains their pants and paints their skin in his transfluid. 
His hands trembled, barely able to restrain their desire to claim the tiny body before him. Rational thought was impossible under the onslaught of chemical signals frying his cognition. Ratchet bucked erratically against them, whole body illuminated by dancing electricity. 
"Need you... interface protocols are in-gauged, can't fight it...please,!" he pants to the human as his spike presses against their back. Blunt node swelled monstrously at its tip.
Their back arches into each grind of Ratchet's spike. “Ratchet!” They whine out. 
Their soft noises egg ratchet on, his servos move quickly, trying to discard the pants sticking to their form, he hisses out in annoyance before finally getting them off their legs, throwing them across the medical room. Twisting them around so he can see thier eyes. 
Ratchet growls eagerly spike swiftly sliding between their thighs and against their stomach. His spike is already dripping with lubricant. As he ruts against them. Each inhale of their scent has him spiralling more. 
"Is this what you want, sweetspark? My spike filling you up?" His voice is rough with lust. Gently spreading their legs wider. Watching the bright pink stick to their legs "Primus... I bet you feel amazing." 
He moves slowly pressing his spike against them, tormenting as he presses into them inch by inch. Needy moans leave their lips, hands clinging to him desperately as they roll their hips. “Ratchet!” They cry out. 
 Their stomach bulges from Ratchet's spike, the bright pink splatter across their skin nearly has ratchet overloading from the mere sensation, not to mention the intoxicating scent of their skin. Ratchet groans deeply at the sight of his spike bulging their abdomen, his engines rumbling with feral satisfaction. One hand strokes almost reverently over the taut swell.
"So stunning like this... stretched wide around me, primus so small and tight”
Slowly he draws his hips back, then thrusts forward, grinding deeply into them. setting a steady pace, rockin into the slick heat enveloping his spike. Ducking his head, he captures their shoulder between his denta, glossa flicking against the sensitive skin as he tries to lap the perfume from their skin.
Ratchet growls deeply, thrusting harder at the way they clench around his spike. The table creaks and trembles under the force of his movements but he can't bring himself to slow down. 
"Yes, just like that," he rasps. "Keep that sweet valve squeezing me. Feels so good..."
captures their cries in a heated kiss. "Want you to overload for me," Ratchet purrs. "Let me feel you come undone around my spike, sweetspark..."
His engines are roaring furiously now, spike swelling and throbbing powerfully inside their smaller body. Ratchet groans deeply as they clench around him again, the feeling of that slick heat clenching and rippling around his spike is incredible. 
"That's it love, overload for me... you feel exquisite. So good" 
The sensations quickly become too much for his own systems to bear,the feeling, scent and the pure primal heat running through his system hits hard. With a staticky shout of Julian's name, he buries himself to the hilt and overloads powerfully. His transfluid gushes hot and thick, pumping deep into their smaller form. 
His engines vent heavily as he leans over them, face pressed into their shoulder, a deep guttural moan leaves him, Shuddering with aftershocks. When he finally leans stack to take in their exhaust and truly used form their lungs desperately inhale and exhale drawing in air as if it was their life line. 
Bright pink transfluid pudding around them as Ratchet's systems finally subsided. His optics flicker on them. “ Are you alright?” he asked softly, his human companion replied with a soft whine and nod. “ Remind me not to wear my perfume out in public” the call out in shuttered words. It makes ratchet chuckle as he leans back down to them. “a wise decision” 
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jikookuntold · 3 months
Text
What Is Like Crazy About?
Since the day "Like Crazy" was released, I wanted to post about it, but couldn't get the time to focus and do a comprehensive analysis. Finally, right before the first anniversary of this masterpiece, I got the time, and the post is ready now. Before starting off, I have to remind you of the fact that a work of art can be interpreted in many different ways, and none of those interpretations are necessarily right or wrong. Every work of art contains a message that is the artist’s main intention from that creation, but the artist doesn’t have to explain it to the audience because a true work of art speaks for itself, even though not all audiences can receive it thoroughly.
I know that in the past year, so many different types of analyses and theories were made by fans to explain this song, and most definitely, I couldn’t keep up with all of them. Therefore, I’m not claiming my analysis to be a breakthrough, and you might have read most parts of it somewhere else. In this post, we are going to discuss “Like Crazy” from a lyrical and conceptual point of view, trying to find out what message or messages Jimin wanted to convey by creating it.
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About “Like Crazy”
“Like Crazy” as the title track for Jimin's first solo album, "FACE", stole the hearts of millions of fans and locals around the world, and inarguably became one of the most successful pop songs of the year 2023. I can talk for hours about how beautiful and successful “Like Crazy” is, and how it broke KPop boundaries and countless records. But, in this post, we are going to break to the surface and talk about the meanings and motivations behind this song and answer the questions like “How this song was made?” “What was Jimin's intention in writing these romantic lyrics?”
As I mentioned earlier, artists usually don’t directly address their main message and their intention in creating a form of art, but many of them speak about the motivations and inspirations that led them to the creation. Jimin hasn’t talked much about the sources of inspiration behind individual tracks of “FACE”, but I guess “Like Crazy” was an exception for him because he revealed on several occasions that he was inspired by “Like Crazy”, the movie. And this piece of information is the key to our analysis:
"I tried to express the feelings of that movie. You know, the somewhat complex, somewhat lonely, somewhat happy emotions. I tried to express all these ambiguous and subtle emotions in a slightly sexy way, but I’m not sure how it’ll end up being received by people.”
Like Crazy, The Movie
First of all, we need to keep in mind that “Like Crazy” is a completely original song, and Jimin has not used or sampled any songs, lines, or dialogues from the movie in his lyrical or visual concepts (even the intro and outro dialogues in the song were original and not from the movie). If Jimin had not stated his source of inspiration directly, the only hint that could have led us to it would be the title of the song, which duplicates the title of the movie since the title never appears in the lyrics.
So, Jimin chose this specific name for his song and announced his source of inspiration to make it clear that there is a straight and strong connection between the song and the movie. He made it clear that this connection is 100% conceptual and emotional, and if we want to know what “Like Crazy” is about, and what ambiguous and subtle feelings Jimin is talking about, we have to redirect the analysis to the concept of the movie, “Like Crazy”.
As we all know, “Like Crazy” is a romantic movie, and Drake Doremus directed it casting "Felicity Jones" and the late "Anton Yelchin" as the main characters, Anna and Jacob. Doremus based the storyline of this low-budget movie on his experience being in a long-distance relationship with his partner and developed it into a 90-minute-long movie, which was released in 2011 and became relatively successful.
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Anna and Jacob
A few days before the release of “FACE”, I was informed that the title track, “Like Crazy” is based on a movie of the same name. After learning this fact, I had to re-watch it because I couldn’t remember anything after a decade, and I had some questions like: “What was in this movie that made it so special for Jimin?” “How would Jimin feel watching this?”. Having this mindset helped me to see the movie differently, but before explaining those new insights we need a short storyline of the movie:
Anna is a British exchange student in LA, where she falls in love with Jacob, an American student, and they start dating. Anna, blinded by her love for Jacob, overstays her student visa and consequently gets banned from re-entering the United States. After experiencing a forced LDR, Jacob flies to London to visit Anna, and her father suggests that getting married might resolve the issue, but they are not ready for this big step. Jacob goes back to LA and basically chooses his job over Anna, but after some time, they realize that they can’t be apart, and they decide to get married. Six months after the marriage, when the time for the appeal of Anna’s ban comes, it gets rejected, and they lose their last hope of being together. Again, they go back to their sad lives, but after some time, Anna is finally offered a visa, and she leaves everything behind to reunite with Jacob. The ending scene shows how this separation has damaged their relationship, and things will never be the same.
The movie portrays the hardships of a long-distance relationship and the damage the separation can do to two souls and their connection. I think the recent movie by "Celine Song" named "Past Lives" was partially similar to like crazy, but also there was a big difference; unlike Nora and Haesung in “Past Lives”, Anna and Jacob don’t leave it to fate, they don’t forget about each other and don’t settle down with others just because their love seemed difficult or impossible.
They found true happiness only next to each other and did everything against all odds (especially Anna) to take that back. Maybe if Anna and Jacob weren’t in love like crazy and were more mature and realistic, they would end up like Nora and Haesung (Sorry if this spoiled that movie for you), but they didn’t and made their own bittersweet ending.
Many people claim that “Like Crazy” is a breakup movie with a sad ending, therefore, Jimin’s song also must be a breakup song. But, first of all, the ending can somehow be considered an open ending. We don’t know what happens after the shower scene, but we see them together, in each other’s arms, and this is not a totally sad ending by any movie standards. Other than that, Anna and Jacob became separated a few times, but they don't officially break up by choice, their separation is the result of contractual rules and laws, made by society.
This movie, as its director explained, might be originally about a long-distance relationship, but also the main relationship in this movie can be seen as a relationship that gets strained by laws and regulations, it’s about the rules and imaginary borders that decide if two people can be together or ban them from it. It’s a story of the “love against law”.
A Heterosexual Love Story?
When “Like Crazy” was released in theatres back in 2011, it got positive reviews for good acting that made the movie feel sweet and intimate with mostly improvised dialogues. Meanwhile, the negative reviews were focused on the plotline of this drama, calling it far from reality. Other than the fact that Jacob could have easily resolved this issue by taking his job from LA to London, in reality, the couple wouldn’t have faced this much difficulty over the legal complications, especially after getting married.
The fact is, straight couples usually never face this kind of hardship, and governments take that easy on them otherwise, there wouldn’t be so many sham marriages around the world just to get citizenship. So, the idea of a couple getting separated by law is not common, and that’s why many people called this movie implausible. But, a queer person can familiarly receive this implausibility, like when they want to be with someone forever, but the laws don’t let them.
Could it be this feeling that made “Like Crazy” special and a source of inspiration for Jimin? Or was it something smaller like the Santa Monica beach scene? I have no answer, I only make theories, and I think it’s better to leave the movie here and start the lyrical interpretation to see how these words and feelings can get connected.
The Lyrics
[Intro]
(I think we could last forever (I'm afraid that everything will disappear Just trust me)
As I said earlier, this intro is not a dialogue from the movie, but the narrators were told to do it based on the audio from the movie that was sent to them. So, hypothetically, it’s Anna and Jacob having this conversation. He is afraid of losing everything, but Anna assures him that if he trusts her, they can last forever. In the MV, we see Jimin standing in the crowd, but the time goes in reverse, and through a transition into his eyes, we see him sitting alone. Weirdly, the outro of the song is playing in the background here, but we will figure out the reason later.
[Verse 1]
Korean Version, Translated
She's saying Baby, don't think about it There's not a bad thing here tonight Baby, it's fine if you leave Stay with me, just for today
English Version
She's saying, Baby, come and follow me There's not a bad thing here tonight Save your reasons all for later Stay with me a little while
Anna asks him to follow her and assures him that everything is fine, it’s fine if this is not going to last long. It’s not the time for reason and overthinking. The gendered pronoun here refers to Anna, but we will know more about her in the next verses. It is worth mentioning that in the primary handwritten lyrics by Jimin, there was no “She” and it was modified later considering the dialogues added to the intro. Anyway, we know Jimin didn’t release these drafts in his album for no reason.
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In this part of the MV, we see Jimin sitting alone in a room, and with a flicker of lights, the room is filled with mud. Suddenly, a muddy hand of a girl grabs Jimin’s hand and leads him to a party. There are several symbols in this part, the lonely room is Jimin’s reality, and the party is his dream. The mud symbolizes dreams and desires that leave their trace on your life and soul.
[Verse 2]
Korean Version, Translated
Watch me go Drenching myself all night (Away) So that even the morning Gets drunk and doesn't arrive
English Version
Watch me go Now, I sink down, all alone away Where am I? A dark haze clouding up my eyes
From here, we don’t see the girl because Jimin and the girl became one. She was her reflection from the beginning, the side that leads him out of his loneliness, and allures him to his dreams and desires, tempts him to be careless and stop thinking too much. Some say she is Jimin’s Anima, but these lyrics never go to the deep levels of the subconscious to reach the Anima. She is his feminine side that is a tangible side of him, and Jimin’s asymmetric makeup gives it away. Also, the mirrored moves between Jimin and the female dancer in “Like Crazy’s” choreography made it clear that the feminine presence in this song is Jimin’s reflection.
[Pre-Chorus]
Korean Version, Translated
As the loud music I get faded out A cliché story like a drama I get used to it Have I come too far to find the me that you used to know Yeah, I know You know I know (Ooh)
English Version
I can hear the voices listening Don't know who they are Trying to take the pressure off Been reaching for the stars Tell me, will I find myself again? When I go too far? Yeah, I know You know, I know (Ooh)
Jimin enters the party and starts drinking, dancing, and having fun with the others. He laughs and enjoys himself in the crowd and trusts the supposed strangers, but the confusion doesn’t leave him alone. He feels lost, and as the lyrics say, he is worried about going too far and not finding himself again. The two opposite sides of him are conflicting. It’s the contradiction between "fear and desire", between "pain and numbness", between "loneliness and losing yourself", and between "reason and dream" that leaves him confused.
[Chorus and Post Chorus]
Korean Version, Translated
I'd rather be Lost in the lights, Lost in the lights I'm outta my mind Hold onto the end of the night Every night You spin me up high The moon with you in its arms Let me have a taste Give me a good ride (Oh, I'm fallin', I'm fallin', I'm fallin') Oh, it's gon' be a good night (Oh, I'm fallin') Forever, you and I
English Version
I'd rather be Lost in the lights, lost in the lights I'm outta my mind Can you help me numb the pain? Each night, you spin me up high Emotions on ice Let me have a taste Give me a good ride (Oh, I'm fallin', I'm fallin', I'm fallin') Oh, it's gon' be a good night (Oh, I'm fallin') Forever, you and I
In this part, he confesses which side he really wants to follow. He wants to go out of his mind, lose himself to the desire, and leave the reason behind. It’s the escapism that saves him from loneliness and the pain of real life. The chorus is the sexy and at the same time, the most poetic part of this song, especially where he is spinning up high in the arms of the moon.
The last line of the post-chorus, “Forever you and I” which also repeats in the last part of the interlude, is crucial because it declares that Jimin is not talking about vagrancy or promiscuity. He wants it all with his significant other, the only one who can help him numb the pain of real life and escape it. But this escapism has its consequences, and we see all that mud flush out of every corner symbolizing it. This scene artistically ends with Jimin facing his reflection in the crowd. The question is, is this reflection the same significant other, or is it Jimin himself? We will get the answer in the next part.
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[Verse 3]
Korean Version, Translated
The me, reflected in the mirror Is going crazy endlessly I'm feelin' so alive, wasting time
English Version
All my reflections, I Can't even recognize I'm feelin' so alive, wasting time
His fear of losing himself was true, and it's happening now. This duality confuses him and makes him question his reality. Which side is the true Jimin? He doesn't care anymore because this escapism makes him feel alive.
Here in the MV, we see Jimin facing the reflection, and it immediately cuts to the restroom scene where he faces his literal reflection in the mirror and talks to him about not recognizing him anymore. Then, the restroom being dismantled symbolizes his state of mind. "The reflection of myself in an unfamiliar appearance" was the concept of "his "FACE" which was a whole album about Jimin himself.
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[Outro]
This will break me This is gonna break me (Break me) No, don't you wake me (Wake me) I wanna stay in this dream, don't save me Don't you try to save me (Save me) I need a way we (Way we) I need a way we can dream on (On, on, on) (Alone again What's the point?)
Jimin knows the consequences of losing himself but embraces it. He knows it's gonna break him but doesn't want to wake up from his dream. He knows everything will collapse but doesn't need a savior. He wants to stay in that dream, but he knows it's impossible, and sooner or later, he will be dragged out of it.
Is there a way to cut all the connections to the real world of loneliness and stay in this dream forever? We get the answer in the MV, and it's not positive because suddenly, everything goes backward in speed, to where we started (remember the outro being played in the beginning? That was the clue).
He goes back to his lonely room with a muddy hand. Did his hand get dirty from a touch of his reflection, or was the muddy hand in the beginning his own hand? Is he trapped in a loop? Maybe. Maybe this wasn't his first or the last time coming back from that dreamland, and it was the reason for so much mud accumulated in his room. He is a regular in that dreamland and he can't quit.
Conclusion
It's understandable if this analysis of the movie, lyrics, and the MV didn't guide you in any direction, and maybe you are even more confused after reading it all. But don't blame yourself because Jimin already told us that, his emotions for this movie are complex. So, don't look for just one answer, maybe we are not supposed to end up with one conclusion, and this song also can have multiple interpretations and meanings. But what are these meanings?
If you pay attention to the lyrics and the MV you will realize that despite them being aligned and in sync, the lyrics have more connection to the movie. While filming the MV, Jimin mentioned that things (scenes of the MV) didn't happen like this in real life, which was an obvious fact, because this song is clearly not about being the life of the party and stuff like that, and has more internal meanings.
In "Like Crazy", Jimin talks about the loneliness of his real life, the isolation and limitations he experienced during the pandemic, and maybe other times. But Jimin finds an alternate reality, where he can be himself, be free and careless, and forget about the future. This alternate reality is rooted in two possibilities: The feminine side, and the significant other. The feminine side is what we face in the MV, and there are not many signs of it in the lyrics.
The feminine side appears as a muddy hand and a presence at the part that faces Jimin and becomes one with him as his reflection. The idea of "bigender" is nothing new in the concepts that Jimin has offered on different occasions, from his fake tattoos in ARMY-Zip 2019 to the performance of "Filter" in 2020 and his photopholio in 2022, he has expressed this fluidity in his work, and I think the visual concept of "Like Crazy" with his different makeup in the MV and the choreography was the epitome of it.
What about the significant other? As I mentioned in the analysis of chorus parts, "Forever You and I" Can only be interpreted as his exclusiveness to someone who is his significant other. This person is the one who saves Jimin from his loneliness and assures him about their happy ending. This person has no doubt in them lasting forever and only wants Jimin to trust him to take the lead and let that happen.
He keeps saying to his significant other that there is no future. They can't be together forever, this is just a temporary situation, and despite finding comfort in each other, they should not get attached because they will forced to be separated. It's not like Jimin doesn't believe in this love, he does and has the same wishes and dreams, but he keeps getting dragged to the real world where the rules govern.
This part is just a personal opinion as a Jikooker, but I did this analysis in my head last year when "Like Crazy" was newly released and had no intention of making a connection between this and Jikook, until "Seven" came out. We all know JK had no hand in making the sexy lyrics of "Seven", but after watching the MV (which had nothing to do with the lyrics), I couldn't unsee the fact that the concept of Seven's MV looked so much like a response to "Like Crazy's" lyrics. Still, we don't know if JK gave any ideas for the concept of the MV, but considering his record of working as an MV director, it's not impossible.
The End.
This is all I could say about "Like Crazy", a masterpiece that is still thriving in the charts and still touches people's hearts because it comes from real and deep emotions that Jimin had in his heart. That emotion got us the moment we listened to it for the first time, even though verbalizing it, is never easy, no matter how many analyses and reviews we write.
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book 7 part 7 thoughts!
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***THIS POST CONTAINS MASSIVE SPOILERS FOR BOOK 7, PART 7 OF THE MAIN STORY!!***
There are only 16 new chapters total in this update; with this, we are up to chapter 116 in book 7.
You should check out this livestream if you want a more part-by-part summarized translation of what's going on and/or if you want to hear the voices and watch the characters along with the commentary!
Please note: this is NOT meant to be a summary or a translation; these are only my initial thoughts on the events that unfold. There may be details overlooked or misunderstood in this post, so PLEASE do not use this as a translation.
As expected, we start off where we left off last update; Yuu, Grim, Silver, and Sebek have met up with the Shroud brothers. (Lilia is not with them.) According to Idia, they are still in a dream realm since Sebek is still in armor which he cannot bring back into reality. Ortho is present via a projection of some sort.
It's weird seeing Idia, Sebek, and Silver introducing themselves to one another in the main story and acting as though they've NEVER met before; they were all featured in Glorious Masquerade and interacted quite frequently. I'm aware that the main story and events don't share the same timeline, but it's still quite the jarring knowledge gap to witness.
ADFIHBADIYFBIOAFBEWQVUQOCAB SILVER AND SEBEK SUDDENLY CLOSE IN ON IDIA TO PROTECT HIM FROM SOMETHING THEY SENSE, HE CAN'T BREATHE... Waaaah, Idia... You're a princess squished between two pretty boy knights wwww
Idia and Ortho tell us that Malleus is expending a lot of energy to monitor Lilia in particular...? Ortho then goes on to explain that his "individuality" has become useful. Even though he cannot have a UM (okay, so confirmed that Ace is the last one to gain it shjdbahsdbasda), he is the only one capable of transferring his consciousness from one body to another. This is how he was able to reach out to Idia and the others!
Ortho tells them about his Cerberus Gear. We get a flashback of what he was up after getting suited up; he's flying over Sage's Island to collect information on Malleus's UM for STYX.
Thorns pierce through the clouds and Ortho battles them! STYX sends reinforcements (not personnel, but like technology/cannons?) to help Ortho. The thorns form a short of shield over Sage's Island, so he breaks through via a weak point. asdbhbaisdbals It's so unsettling to see the port looking so dark and depressing...
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Ortho's mom reminds him he can only stay in there safely for 20 minutes. Aw, she cares so much about Or-kun 😭
It's going to take over several minutes (I think 17) just to analyze the complex nature of Malleus's magic and save it. While the analysis anchor does its job, Ortho has to protect it!
OH SHIT IT'S OB MALLEUS
ebfyvoFoaHhahaahahaHHhahaahah ORTHOS STARTS TALKING ABOUT A BUNCH OF TECH STUFF LIKE WIRELESS TO EXPLAIN TO MALLEUS HOW HE CHANGED BODIES, Malleus surprisingly understands???? I half expected him to combust on the spot from confusion... DBHLBSYOFOFYAAFIAFIL MALLEUS IS BEING DUNKED ON BY A CHILD, Ortho says that since magic is powered by imagination, Malleus cannot block Ortho's advances or force his new body under sleep since Malleus does not understand tech.
I can't believe him being shit with tech is actually relevant to the plot 💀
AEFHLBFBYFOVYFEQRUROQ OB MALLEUS PROCEEDS TO RESPOND WITH VIOLENCE, HE'S GOING TO DESTROY THE ANALYTICAL ANCHOR SO ORTHO DECIDES TO FIGHT BACK
RIP Or-kun, he could only resist for so long... his attacks have no effect in this domain where Malleus has complete control.
JUST 30 SECONDS BEFORE THE ANALYSIS ENDS, QUICK ORTHO STALL HIM BY SHIT TALKING MORE!!! I KNOW CHILDREN CAN BE SAVAGE, SO UNLEASH YOUR WRATH
HFBFYOAEOFYEEIAFL MALLEUS.?>??? ?? ? ?? ???? HE IMPLIED HE'S GOING TO KILL OFF ORTHO AND THEN GOES OFF (?) ON ONE OF HIS DOGGIE DRONES...
"Good night, little Shroud." You have to hear it for yourself, it sounds very ominous 💀 He really said he ain't above child murder, eh?
??? For a second Malleus froze and his shot missed? So Ortho decides on a strategic retreat with the second dog drone. NO MALLEUS ENDED 02 TOO, IT TOOK A BLOW FOR ORTHO WHILE HE RETRIEVES THE ANCHOR
We cut back to STYX, which is dedicating its resources to creating an opening in Malleus's barrier for Ortho to escape. He clears the barrier!!
Aaaaaaah, another cute moment for Shroud Mama! She and Shroud Papa collapse onto the floor in relief. He has sustained some damage, but his core is intact!
One line I really like from Malleus is him referring to Ortho and others as "uninvited guests" that he's going to chase off no matter what.
NOOOOO THEY CONFIRMED BOTH DOGGIE DRONES GOT MCMURDERED IN THERE OTL Never forgiving Malleus for this, fr (Shroud Mama says she can fix them though so we're all good!)
They tell Ortho "welcome back" and Ortho says "I'm back" 😭 AND THEY GROUP HUG
RUH-ROH
Shroud Papa says that Malleus's UM... reminds him of Grim's magic... WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN
STYX has support from Briar Valley, which should help with their analysis. However, the results so far are not looking good. According to Shroud Papa, the barrier is 99% impossible to destroy unless either Malleus dies OR Malleus chooses to lower the barrier himself.
It's not plausible for Mama to make enough Cerberus Gears for a whole army. Besides, if they they destroy the barrier, Shroud Mama theorizes that they may also accidentally destroy the consciousnesses of everyone on Sage's Island... so that's definitely not an option!
FJLDADBIAFSVYOFFEQFA ORTHOS UGGESTED TELLING MALLEUS "Your grandma is so sad" FROM OUTSIDE THE BARRIER TO CONVINCE HIM TO LOWER THE SHIELD........ . . . ....... . . .. .... .. . . . . .. . . ... . . LIKE IN THE OLD MOVIES
They're now looking into Idia's dream on a monitor? Ortho notices Idia's dorm room does not have Ortho's mainenance dock, so... um, he realizes that Idia must be dreaming about an alternate world where his little brother never passed.
Shroud Mama is going to try and "hack" into the dream spaces. AJAFSVOSvfvfefea SHE HAS A CUTE LITTLE GREMLIN GIGGLE??? She's very fired up because Malleus insulted mankind's best technology, saying it cannot stand up to his magic. (aslbhflasbifabfd THIS IS WHERE IDIA GETS IT FROM????????)
"It's rare to see Idia so happy." LDBHbiadib THIS BOY IS MAD DEPRESSED, LET HIM BE
"Isn't it time that everyone got tired of the dream world and want to return to reality?" No, Shroud Mama. I guarantee you that most TWST fans WANT to stay in Twisted Wonderland and don't want new content to stop coming out, this is our escapism :)
WAAAAAH ORTHO HE'S REPEATING THE LINE VIL TOLD HIM, THEY HAVE TO TRY BECAUSE NOT TRYING IS ALWAYS 0% BUT 0.001% HAS THE POSSIBILITY TO BECOME 100%
Shroud Papa warns Ortho that Idia may reject reality, and therefore "this" Ortho. He's concerned that this will put Ortho through a lot of emotional stress. Shroud Papa wants professionals (psychologists) to try and contact Idia instead of Ortho.
ADFILBAFIYAEGIYQEFBIAF ORTHO HAS SO MUCH FAITH IN HIS OLDER BROTHER, he says Idia would get hype about a cute robot boy trying to get in contact with him, this means he'll become a protagonist like in his light novels!
DNBHdsvyofwFTOwqihbyow8fS WE'RE GOING TO IDIA'S DREAM NOW, he pulled like 3 SSRs of his favorite character (of course he'd dream this, OF COURSE).
Video chat notif from Ortho???
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OMG IT'S ROBOT ORTHO AND IDIA FREAKS OUT THINKING IT'S COSPLAY
Ortho reintroduces himself. "It's nice to meet you for the first time in 'this' world!" Idia starts to laugh and assumes it's Ortho's avatar for virtual chat, that kind of thing. Or maybe Ortho is talking about the plot of a new anime?
ILBFIBYADBFADBEFQFIPo; IDIA REPEATS THE EXACT LINES ORTHO SAID HE WOULD SAY, THAT HE'S THE CHOSEN ONE BEING CONTACTED BY A CUTE ROBOT BOY
Here's the breakdown... Idia gets a headache and finally realizes the truth. afhbBIfieeq;ofBHQEF;????? ?the DREMA ORTHO IS CALLING HIMAND TEELLING HIM THE REAL ORTHO IS A FAKE, DON'T LISTEN TO HIM (this is THE definition of gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss).
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DREAM!ORTHO TRIES TO PULL IDIA DEEPER INTO THE DREAM, TELLING HIM HE'S JUST SLEEPY FROM GAMING TOO MUCH SO GO BACK TO SLEEP
Oooh, interesting that RSA!Ortho still appears to be similar in body type to Robo!Ortho? I always assumed Ortho was small because Idia kept him "preserved" in the moment of death. Maybe the dream Ortho is just modelled after Robo!Ortho since that's what Idia's memories are familiar with.
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Idia loops back around again to the start of his dream, where he is in ceremonial robes and Malleus approaches him. HERE COMES MALLEUS TO GASLIGHT HIS CLASSMATES AGAIN
adhfgyoafdodp THERE'S A LIGHT FROM THE SKY???? TSUMTSUMS???????? GOD?????? AND ANIME ON IDIA'S SIDE?????? OMG, here comes Ortho in his Cerberus Gear come to save the day! Idia recognizes STYX's emblem.
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UH-OH, MALLEUSIS PISSED THAT ORTHO SURPRISED HIM TWICE"Stand down, you fools." MALEFICENT ENERGY IS OFF THE CHARTS
Idia recognizes Malleus as being in Overblot adhbafliafa AND THE SKY STARTS CRACKING because Ortho is not meant to exist in this dream. He basically goes against the canon www
Malleus teleports away (yeah, FUCK IDIA I guess) and leaves them to be swallowed by the abyss. Idia's being pulled into the darkness, and their mom's voice comes in warning Ortho to stay away before more damage occurs. Idia recognizes his mom's voice and remembers even more!!
Aw, Ortho promises to save his brother...
Idia is at the gates to the Underworld again? Phantom Ortho says Idia fell there and speaks to him kind of in a friendly manner. "It's too early for a reunion."
asfkjlnsUPBUADGPAGB IDIA IS SO CONFUSED, HE'S WONDERING WHY A PHANTOM IS CALLING HIM BIG BRO, HE STILL BELIEVES THAT HIS BROTHER GOES TO RSA AND THAT THIS IS A NIGHTMARE Idia is sooooo in denial...
Phantom Ortho reassures Idia that his death is not his fault, so please stop blaming himself... that Idia promised he would live without looking back, so he should look at the truth.
WHOOOOO HE REMEMBERS BOOK 6 FELLAS
AYO WE GOT IDIA CRYING AND IT'S ANIMATED, WE SEE THE TEARS ROLLING DOWN HIS CHEEKS, WE WINNIN'
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"I'm always being saved by my little brothers (YES PLURAL, WEH), I'm such a pathetic big brother."
Ah, so now Phantom Ortho calls himself "King of the Underworld" says Idia cannot leave since it's not a good example for the rest of the phantoms. It's going to be the boss!
OOOOOH IDIA'S HAIR GOES FULL DIFFERENT COLOR + new facial expression (we previously only saw the hair change color in his Dorm Uniform Groovy and his Suitor Suit Groovy).
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IDIA CALLS HIS FAMILY CURSE A BLESSING, he gets more power in areas with lots of blot since there is more fuel for him to burn. HASDIYASODBASID IDIA OBS TO FIGHT PHANTOM ORTHO??????? IS THIS A PREVIEW FOR OVERBLOT CARDS OR SOMETHING
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They have the same battle lines about how they will be "free"...
IDIA'S CRINGE ERA RETURNSSSSSSSS (he's making those cringe sound effects of blowing things up) and claims the title of "King of the Underworld" (the same title given to players who own 10 cards of a particular character).
afhbabilfbialfi IDIA LAUGHS SO HARD HE CHOKES
He finally uses his UM to open the gates and escape, telling Phantom!Ortho he cannot stay there. PHANTOM!ORTHO LOVINGLY WISHES HIS BROTHER SAFE TRAVELS, AW "The whole universe is waiting for you."
Idia tries to wake up and hears Dream!Ortho's voice??? BUT IDIA IS FULLY AWAKE NOW, HE KNOWS IT'S SUCH A DREAM He has finally accepted Ortho's death AND calls both the robot brother and the dead brother as his "brotherS"
Idia points out all the discrepancies in the dream... adfbilasdibalbiaflb I LOVE HOW EVERYONE KEEPS CALLING RSA A "SHINY" SCHOOL, Idia's all like, "No WAY is my little brother going to a school like that!"
THE DREAM ORTHO PANICS AND BEGS IDIA TO LISTEN TO HIM BADSBILADIAIDVFADIL IDIA TELLS THE DREAM ORTHO "Sorry, I don't like anyone other than anime/game characters calling me onii-chan!" IBRO, YOU'RE OUTTING YOURSELF LIEK THIS????????? ? ????? ????
He plots revenge on the person that would dare show him this disgusting dream, he's ready to FILE A COMPLAINT to them! (Watch out, Draconia, this otaku is coming for YOUR ASS) sayusdbyosfvayf What's with Malleus pissing off big bros with dead little bros...
Idia finally reunites in his dream with Robo!Ortho and apologizes for the hurtful things he said... Ortho talks about the adventures he has been on + explains what has been going on. Basically, they reconcile without a problem!
After all the summary, Idia first comments on how shocked he is that their mom hacked into his computer 🤡 Yeah, Idia... she saw everything... Ortho tells him it's okay, she didn't comment! BUT THAT MAKES IDIA EVEN MORE UPSET, "it's the worst thing for a male high school student!" It just might make him Overblot a THIRD time www
I can't believe THIS of all things is what makes Idia seek revenge on Malleus... (HE SAYS HE WANTS MALLEUS TO CRY AND BEG FOR FORGIVENESS)
Idia is really out here about to doxx Malleus huh 💀
I honestly was not expecting to cry this update (since I was thinking it would just be a flashback about how Ortho "woke up" Idia) but NOPE, I just guess every update now is going to elicit tears... I've always been highly invested in the Shroud brothers' storyline, so I'm really happy they touched on it again here and enhanced it by giving us more Shroud Mama and Papa, as well as Phantom!Ortho. It was sweet to see Idia recognize Phantom!Ortho as his brother too instead of completely renouncing him or "replacing" him with Robo!Ortho. ihbdiladqeofqbeafnasi The updates are making me like Idia more, but in the same way you'd like a character for being pathetic... Man made SO many dog chew toy nosies this time 😭
I did not expect Malleus to be so... pro-child murder/j He will stop at nothing to keep everyone under his thumb, and that's so awful. There was so much gaslighting in this part as well, even if Malleus is not directly doing it himself. The fact that his magic can just... do that on its own is... It sort of gives me the vibes of trying to enforce a toxic kind of positivity on everyone, which in of itself has its roots in his own insecurities and inability to cope with loss. He's projecting that onto everyone else, and that has very scary results as we see here.
There were a lot of memes pre-book 7 about how Malleus's inability to understand technology would come to bite him in the ass later, and all of those fans can now feel vindicated because WELL, IT CAME TRUE.
And last, but not least, I'm shocked at Idia's reason for wanting to fistfight Malleus 🤡 BRO'S MAD FR FR... WHAT MUST HIS MOM HAVE SEEN ON HIS COMPUTER TO MAKE HIM SO AGGRO... WAS IT LEWDS OR SOMETHING???????? ?? ? ??? ?????? ?? Glad that Idia is on our side now, this is an excellent place to leave off on for next time!!
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ilys00ga · 6 months
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can i request a fluffy first kiss drabble with yoongi? like reader is inexperienced with dating and other stuff. Reader feels like this is gonna be disappointing for him and they get nervous whenever they're in close proximity with him. He's sweet and just trying to show his love. After some time he thinks maybe reader doesn't have an interest in him like he does with them. He asks directly if they think of him in a romantic and more intimate way at all. Everything turns out okay he understands and comforts the reader
pairing: yoongi x reader.
genre: fluff, just pure fluff with some silliness bcuz we all need to be silly.
warnings: this made me miss yoongi even more so, beware, in case you miss him just like I do.
A/N: thank u so much for this req! I just realised that it's slightly different than what you've requested, but I hope that's okay and that you enjoy reading regardless <3. You're very welcome if u wanna request more stuff or just reach out to me.
PS. English is not my first language, so u know the drill.
ᵎᵎ 𖦹彡⋆。˚・ ─ ・ ⋯ ・ ─ ⊹ ♡₊˚๑
to a person whose only romantic experience was that in books and movies, meeting yoongi was like jumping off of 4 stairs at once as a child, scary but so damn exciting and fun. it was like picking up a book in a language you've been trying to learn for while, full of complex for a beginner like you.
it took you some time to get used to his presence in your life. to him. it's not like you didn't enjoy it, it was far away from that actually, but he was your first, after all.
the two of you hadn't been official for that long, though. after many moon cycles of pining and awkward, shy interactions, it all bloomed at once, and suddenly, you officially got your first boyfriend.
you were planning to go on a proper date, after the previous one had miserably failed (a tale to tell for another day), only for it to be met with a heavy rain storm. yoongi ended up apologizing, and offered you an indoors dinner, some cuddles and a movie for the night.
after finishing your meal, he held your hand in his and led you to the living room, where he had prepared a cozy setting with snacks and wine.
he noticed the way your body tensed every time he initiated any kind of physical connection between the two of you. at first, he didnt think much of it, assuming it was because just the beginning of your relationship. he was also well aware that you've never dated anyone before, so it was only natural for you to be awkward with that.
he really understood. after all, he himself wasn't a fan of skin ship and was extremely shy as well. he almost always tried to initiate it for you, because of how caring and loving you are towards him. you always took care of him, something he's very grateful for. and so, he made sure to remind himself to show you that he does with those little gestures of affection every now and then.
but then, he started noticing more frequently. everytime he attempted to hug you, hold your hand, peck your face, or even those two times he almost just leaned in to kiss your lips—but stopped halfway. and each time his worry reaches the tip of his toungue, waiting to be spilled in the form of a question, he always ends up letting it slip when you quickly brush it off and comply to whatever he wanted to do.
"thank you for the dinner, it was really good." you said, watching as yoongi's face lit up with a grin. his hand affectionately ruffled the top of your head, a habit of his that you've grown fond of the more often he did it. suddenly, he reached out for his phone, tapping a few buttons and a soft, slow beat rode the air of the room.
dropping his phone on the sofa, he put his left hand out and asked, "may I have a dance with you, darling?"
chuckling, you nodded and intertwined your fingers with his.
he pulled you in, chest flush against his with his free hand resting on your waist. then, he started swaying both of your bodies to the music.
"you're welcome, darling." he replied, kissing your cheek. he sensed your body tensing again, this time your fists tightening on top of his shoulders, and he hummed.
"I would very much like to kiss you right now."
eyes widening, you froze in your place when you heard his whisper. you felt your cheeks burning up. it took you off guard. your brain struggled to figure out what to say or do next, so you just stood there and stared at him. it's happening.
in books and movies, first kisses are that thing that everyone gets to experience at one point in their life, but not everyone gets to enjoy it. and right now, thinking about the possibility of yoongi not liking your first kiss is not helping calm your nervous system at all.
"can I..?" he pleaded, eyes never leaving yours with a tiny hint of a smirk appearing on his face.
"i- I've never done this before, I don't wanna ruin it for you and-" you stuttered nervously as you averted your eyes. the change of the atmosphere was starting to feel way too overwhelming for you, and all you could think about was how he'd feel like once he realises how bad you are at this.
"hey, look at me." once again, and with a very gentle voice, yoongi whispered. his finger gently rested under your chin and lifted your head. his eyes, ever so caring and tender, soothed your nerves down. you swallowed what remained stuck in your throat of concerns.
"it's okay if you've never experienced this before. and I'm not gonna force you to do it, now or any other time, if you don't want me to. but I really would like to show you just how amazing it feels, so please allow me to do so." he added.
you took a deep breathe in and slowly nodded. even though you've been together for just a couple of weeks, you love yoongi, and you trust him. you know he's never gonna do anything that's gonna end up hurting you in any possible way, and you've always been thankful for how respectful and thoughtful he is.
"o-okay..." you finally agreed, giving him his much desired green light.
"okay." he smiled, "let me ask again. Is it okay if I kiss you right here and now?"
"yes, please.."
like a kid that finally got permission to open his first birthday present of the day, yoongi leaned in and gently met your lips with his.
the first kiss was not like that of the movies, it was light and short. yoongi pulled back, eyes finding yours again as to make sure nothing went wrong. it took you a moment to regain your senses again, but you smiled sheepishly after a few heart beats, reassuring him that everything was fine, and he leaned in again. this time, he pulled your body closer to his, one hand gently holding your wasit and the other cupping your jaw.
he did all the work, and you just stood there with your eyes closed, focusing on the warmth of his skin against yours. he realised that you weren't sure where to put your hands when your balled up fists clenched on his sleeves, so he gently guided them to the back of his neck.
it all felt so new, so refreshing. your stomach felt so funny, and your heart beat so fast against your chest. the sound of heavy raindrops landing on the window, along with the music that's still playing in the room, was distant. all you could feel was his chest against yours, his lips pressing against yours. his hands gently holding your face and his fingers caressing your cheeks.
shortly after, you tapped his shoulder in panick as it started getting harder to hold your breath in.
yoongi pulled out, face inches away from yours, and panted, "I'm sorry. got caught up in the feeling of your honey lips."
looking at him up this close, he looked so pretty. red tinted cheeks and cherry plumped up lips. you suddenly really wanted to kiss him more. your face flushed a deep, rosy red at that thought.
chuckling, you hid your face in both of your hands and crouched down.
"hey, relax. it's okay." yoongi chuckled softly and crouched down next to you, running his hand down your back and lifting your face, "you're so red, are you alright?" he teased.
you whined and hugged his torso, hiding your face in his chest.
"was it that bad?" he continued to joke, giggling as he enjoyed your reaction.
"it was amazing, I loved it a lot." when you lifted your face and looked up at him, he saw your eyes sparkling with joy, and perhaps some gratitude. yoongi leaned down and kissed your forehead.
"how'd you like your first kiss, my lady?" he asked, and you hummed.
"thank you, you're literally the best. I don't deserve you."
"don't say that. you deserve the best. I cannot believe I've waited this long to kiss you."
you chuckled, "it's only been two weeks, yoongi."
"and what about it? have you seen yourself? your lips?!"
you slap his back playfully, giggling at his dramatic silliness before looking back up at him, "I can't believe I've been anxious about it this whole time." you pouted.
"it's okay, darling. it's all new to you. today, it's a kiss, tomorrow, something much better is coming your way." he chuckled.
"yoongi!" you slap him again. perhaps, this time with a little bit more of strength to emphasize your exclamation.
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perfectsunlight · 10 months
Text
𝐟𝐚𝐯𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐦𝐞
𝒌𝒊𝒎 𝒎𝒊𝒏𝒋𝒊 𝒙 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒆𝒓
𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: 𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐬𝐭, 𝐦𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐲 𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩, 𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐞𝐜𝐮𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐞𝐬, 𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐝 𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐩𝐮𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧
𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 𝟒.𝟖𝐤
𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: 𝐟𝐚𝐯𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐦𝐞 - 𝐨𝐥𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐚 𝐫𝐨𝐝𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐨
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know that i loved you so bad
i let you treat me like that
i was your willing accomplice, honey
you were in the middle of talking about your day on the phone with your girlfriend. the both of you went to the same school, but of course her idol duties put her out of the classroom all the time. you were no idol, naturally leaving you and minji with a bit of estranged distance since you rarely saw her.
“oh, and then one of the fire alarms went off–” “can you just stop talking?”
minji’s sharp voice cut you off mid sentence. the suddenness of her words left you stunned, the hurt hitting you like a swift blow to the chest. the silence that followed was heavy, suffocating, as if the weight of the unspoken emotions hung in the air between you.
your mind raced, desperately trying to comprehend what had just happened. this was supposed to be your moment, a chance to share your day with her, to bridge the ever-widening gap that her job had forged between you. 
and yet, here you were, your heart sinking as her cutting words echoed in your ears.
"i've had a long day, and i just don't really feel like hearing you ramble right now." the idol said monotonously on the other line, her words landing like a cold, heavy stone in the pit of your stomach. each syllable felt like a dagger, twisting and turning in the wound that was already so tender. 
it was as if the person you once knew, the one who used to hang on your every word, had been replaced by someone distant and indifferent.
your voice caught in your throat, the hurt and confusion making it impossible to form a coherent response. you had hoped that your words, your voice, could be a lifeline to bridge the gap between your worlds, but instead, they seemed to have driven the wedge even deeper.
the words hung in the air, the silence stretching out like an eternity. what had you done wrong? was it your fault that you couldn't understand the pressures of her life, the demands of her career? a sinking feeling settled in your chest, a mix of sadness and anger, a complex emotion that was hard to untangle.
you could feel your own heart squeezing in your chest, the vulnerability of the moment leaving you raw and exposed.
the person you loved, the one who used to make your heart skip a beat, had just dismissed you with a single sentence. the sharp contrast between the past and the present was a painful reminder of how much things had changed.
"i understand that you're tired," you managed to say, your voice trembling with a mix of sadness and resignation. "i just thought maybe we could talk, even if it's just for a little while."
the line remained quiet for a moment, the silence heavy with unspoken words. you could almost picture minji on the other end, her expression impassive, her eyes perhaps staring off into the distance, disconnected from the conversation. 
it was a stark reminder that you were now a secondary character in her life, a role you had never anticipated playing.
"i don't know what to say," she finally responded, her voice lacking any warmth or emotion. "i'm just not in the mood for this right now."
those words felt like a final blow, a confirmation that the divide between you had grown too wide to bridge. the tears you had been holding back now spilled freely down your cheeks, each droplet a testament to the pain that was too deep for words.
you wanted to tell her how much you missed her, how much you longed for the connection you once shared. you wanted to ask her if there was a way to mend what was broken, to find a way back to each other. but the weight of her indifference hung heavy in the air, suffocating any words that might have brought solace.
in the end, all you could manage was a whispered, "okay." and with that, you hung up the phone, the silence on the other end echoing the emptiness you now felt inside. 
and i watched as you fled the scene
doe-eyed as you buried me
one heart broke, four hands bloody
the next few weeks were a continuation of that one evening. minji stopped calling you, she left you on read often, and occasionally she wouldn’t even read it until the next day. this was not the kim minji you fell in love with.
no, this was entirely someone different. your minji would never do this to you.
the minji you loved always asked about your day, always called even just to say goodnight. 
the minji you loved always asked about your day, always called even just to say goodnight. she was the one who made you feel like you were the most important person in her world.
but now, that minji seemed like a distant memory, a bittersweet echo of a time that was slipping further and further away. the weight of her absence bore down on you like a heavy cloud, casting a shadow over every aspect of your life. the joy you used to find in the simplest of things now felt hollow, incomplete.
you found yourself constantly checking your phone, hoping for a message, a sign that she was thinking of you. each notification that popped up only brought a pang of disappointment as it turned out to be from someone else. 
you wondered if you were being too needy, too clingy, but deep down, you couldn't help but feel that something was fundamentally wrong.
nights were the hardest. 
the absence of her goodnight messages left a void that was difficult to fill. the empty space beside you in bed seemed to grow colder each night, a physical reminder of the emotional distance that had come between you. you missed the sound of her voice, the way she used to tell you about her day, about the small victories and the challenges she faced.
you began to replay that evening in your mind, searching for clues, for any possible explanation for the sudden change in her behavior. had you said something wrong? was there something you could have done differently? the uncertainty gnawed at you, feeding into your insecurities and amplifying your pain.
those things i did
just so i could call you mine
the things you did
well, i hope i was your favorite crime
one afternoon, you found yourself waiting in line at a fansign for new jeans. you didn’t tell minji you were coming, since you thought it would be a good idea to surprise her with your presence. it had been over a month since you had seen your girlfriend, and you were over the moon to just see her face again.
especially since you had found yourself ditching your last period of class to come to this event.
the atmosphere around you buzzed with excitement, the energy of the fans filling the air. the posters, the merchandise, the anticipation—it was all so overwhelming. as you inched closer to the front of the line, your heart raced with a mixture of nervousness and eagerness.
finally, it was your turn. you stepped up to the table, and there she was, looking every bit as stunning as you remembered. her hair cascaded in waves, her eyes sparkled, and her smile was radiant, lighting up the entire room. for a moment, it felt like time stood still, and all the pain and uncertainty of the past weeks melted away in the warmth of her gaze.
minji looked up from signing the album placed in front of her, her eyes widening in genuine surprise. "you?" she exclaimed softly, a mixture of shock and something else you couldn't quite place in her voice.
"hey," you managed, your own voice a little unsteady. "surprise."
a range of emotions seemed to play across her face—surprise, confusion, and something akin to disgust. but she quickly masked them, putting on a professional smile as she continued to sign your album. the brief interaction felt surreal, like you were strangers meeting for the first time, and the dissonance was almost painful.
"thank you for coming," she said politely as she handed the album back to you. you held onto the album, your fingers trembling slightly as you searched her eyes for a hint of the minji you once knew.
before you could respond, a staff member gently ushered you along, reminding you that there were other fans waiting. 
minji didn’t bother looking back at you, not even once.
and just like that, the fansign moved on, and you were left standing there, clutching the album to your chest. the encounter left you feeling both heartened and heartbroken, a reminder that surprises weren't enough to mend what was broken.
but maybe it was your fault for not understanding? minji was an idol. she was busy with her schedules and promotions. of course she isn’t going to have time to see you. surely you should understand that, right?
however, you couldn’t understand why she acted the way she did towards you. little did you know it would only get worse.
you used me as an alibi
i crossed my heart as you crossed the line
and i defended you to all my friends
“y/n, come on. you can’t keep defending her.” sullyoon said bluntly, pointing a finger in your direction as she glared at you.
your best friend had been present to witness yet another one of you and minji’s arguments. this time, you called your girlfriend asking for a day she’s free to hang out with you, only to be met with an argument with her.
minji blamed you for being late to her photoshoot because you called her at a bad time. she also blamed you for making her stressed out with all of your constant messages.
you sighed and looked down, the weight of sullyoon's words hitting you like a ton of bricks. she wasn't wrong, and deep down, you knew it. you had been trying so hard to defend minji's actions, to justify the distance that had grown between you, but at what cost?
"i know," you replied quietly, your voice tinged with sadness and frustration. "it's just... i love her, sullyoon. i don't want to give up on us."
sullyoon's expression softened, and she stepped closer to you, placing a comforting hand on your shoulder. "i know you love her, y/n. and i'm not telling you to give up. but you deserve someone who treats you with kindness and respect, who values your time and effort."
tears welled up in your eyes as you nodded, your heart aching with the truth of her words. you had been holding onto the memories of the past, the love you once shared, but the reality of the present was becoming harder and harder to ignore.
"it just hurts, you know?" you admitted, your voice quivering. "to feel like i'm not enough, like i'm the one causing her stress and frustration. she’s an idol and i feel like i should understand better."
sullyoon pulled you into a gentle hug, offering you a source of comfort in the midst of your turmoil. "you are enough, y/n. relationships are supposed to be a two-way street. it shouldn't be one-sided, and you shouldn't have to constantly defend yourself." 
as you buried your face in her shoulder, you couldn't help but feel the weight of your emotions crashing over you. the love you had for minji was still there, strong and unwavering, but it was becoming painfully clear that love alone might not be enough to mend what was broken.
“and i’m an idol, too. but i still make time to talk to you more than minji does.” she added, patting your back gently. “she’s just making excuses.”
with a heavy heart, you pulled away from sullyoon's embrace, wiping away your tears. "i need to have a serious conversation with her, don't i?"
sullyoon nodded, her gaze filled with empathy. "yes, y/n. you deserve to be heard, and you deserve honesty. anything less than that is not enough.”
and now, every time a siren sounds
i wonder if you're around
'cause you know that i'd do it all again
after two months of not seeing each other, you and minji finally had arranged a time to see each other. it was actually minji’s idea to meet up and have lunch together. 
after two months of not seeing each other, you and minji finally had arranged a time to see each other. it was actually minji’s idea to meet up and have lunch together. the anticipation and nervousness you felt were palpable as the day approached. a part of you hoped that this would mark a turning point in your relationship, a chance to bridge the gap that had grown between you.
as the day dawned, you found yourself getting ready with a mix of excitement and trepidation. your heart raced as you drove to the restaurant you both had agreed upon. the familiar sights of the city felt almost surreal, like you were stepping into a dream. you couldn't help but replay the upcoming meeting in your mind, wondering how it would unfold.
when you arrived at the restaurant, your heart skipped a beat as you saw minji waiting outside. she looked just as stunning as ever, a mix of nerves and excitement in her eyes. for a moment, it felt like time had stood still, and all the struggles and pain of the past weeks faded into the background. it was just the two of you, like it used to be.
"hey," you called out softly as you approached her, a tentative smile on your lips. minji's face became visible as she turned to you, a half smile tugging at her lips. "hey," she replied, her voice a mixture of nonchalant and monotone.
the awkwardness that had been present in your recent interactions seemed to intensify in that moment. as you sat down at a corner table, there was an unspoken dynamic. minji was acting like an idol, not like your girlfriend.
the conversation started off hesitantly, with small talk about each other's lives. minji talked about her busy schedule, her recent projects, and the demands of her idol career. you sat and listened attentively, unsure if you should say anything yet about a breakup.
when there was a pause in her monologue, you took a deep breath and finally spoke up, your voice soft but determined. "minji, i think we need to talk."
she looked at you, her expression not changing much, but there was a flicker of something in her eyes—maybe surprise, maybe annoyance.
"what's there to talk about?" she replied, her voice tinged with a touch of irritation.
your heart ached at her dismissive response, but you pressed on, knowing that you needed to be honest. "i miss us, minji. i miss the way things used to be between us. but lately, it feels like we're living in two separate worlds. your career, your fame—it's all so overwhelming, and i feel like i'm being left behind."
minji's gaze remained fixed on you, her eyes guarded. "you knew what my life was like when we got together. this isn't something new."
"i know, and i tried to be understanding," you replied, your voice cracking with emotion. "but it's not just about your career. it's about how we've changed, how our relationship has changed. i want us to be partners, to support each other, but it feels like you're closing yourself off from me."
minji's expression hardened, her walls going up even higher. "so, what are you saying?"
your heart ached as you looked into her eyes, searching for the minji you used to know, the one who would have listened and cared deeply. 
"i'm saying that maybe we need to take a break. to figure things out, to find ourselves again. i don't want to keep feeling like i'm fighting for your attention, like i'm the one causing you stress."
the silence that followed felt suffocating, the weight of your words hanging heavily in the air between you. minji's lips tightened, and you could see a storm of emotions brewing beneath the surface. and then, finally, she spoke, her voice laced with anger.
"you're giving up on us just like that?" her tone was sharp, accusatory. "it's not about giving up," you said softly, your voice trembling. "it's about recognizing that we both need to be happy, that we both need space to grow."
minji pushed her chair back abruptly, her face contorted with frustration. "i can't believe you're doing this. after everything."
you reached out for her, your heart aching at her reaction. "minji, please understand. this is tearing us apart. maybe some time apart can help us find our way back to each other."
the restaurant seemed to fade into the background as minji's words pierced through you like a knife. her anger was palpable, her frustration a tangible force. you watched as she stood there, her eyes blazing with hurt and anger, her voice filled with a mixture of disbelief and betrayal.
"i can’t believe i took time out of my busy schedule to come on a date with you for the first time in months and all you’re doing is this?" her voice trembled with a mix of emotions, and you could see tears threatening to spill from her eyes.
you swallowed hard, your own heart breaking at the pain in her voice. "minji, i didn't want it to be like this. i thought a break might give us a chance to work through things, to find a way back to each other."
she shook her head, her hands clenched into fists at her sides. "you think this is what i want? you think i'm happy with the way things have been?"
the raw emotion in her voice cut through you, a stark reminder that this wasn't easy for her either. but her anger was so intense, so overwhelming, that it felt like there was no room for understanding or compromise.
"i don't think you're happy either," you said softly, tears welling up in your eyes. "i just thought maybe this break could give us a chance to heal."
minji's gaze bore into yours, her eyes blazing with an intensity that sent shivers down your spine. "you think i need healing? you think i need you to tell me what's wrong with my life?"
the accusation in her words stung, and you felt a mixture of guilt and frustration swirling within you. "no, that's not what i meant."
"of course it's not what you meant," she spat back, her voice dripping with sarcasm. "you always know what's best, don't you?"
you closed your eyes, the weight of the situation pressing down on you like a heavy burden. it wasn't supposed to end like this, with anger and accusations. 
but the reality of your relationship had become so tangled, so complex, that finding a way forward felt almost impossible.
“i'm not saying i know what's best," you said, your voice cracking with the effort to hold back tears. "i just thought maybe a break could help us both find some clarity."
she turned away from you, her fists balled as if trying to hold back the flood of emotions and her jaw clenched. "i can't do this right now. i can't talk about this."
you watched as she walked away, her steps hurried and determined. the restaurant felt cold and desolate, the aftermath of the conversation leaving you feeling hollow and defeated. 
it was supposed to be a chance to reconnect, to find a way back to each other, but instead, it had only driven a deeper wedge between you.
all the things i did
just so i could call you mine
the things you did
well, i hope i was your favorite crime
you didn’t really know what to call your relationship with minji after that. even though you were the one who tried to break up with her, you couldn’t help but feel guilty about it.
maybe you were wrong all along? what if it wasn’t minji’s fault, but rather your own? she was still trying, right?
in the days that followed your encounter at the restaurant, you found yourself replaying the conversation over and over in your mind. doubt gnawed at you, and you began to question whether your decision to suggest a break was the right one. 
after all, minji had come to meet you, she had taken time out of her busy schedule, and you had essentially rejected her.
seeing her upset and angry had left a pit in your stomach, a nagging feeling that perhaps you hadn't fully considered the consequences of your actions. the guilt weighed heavily on you, a constant reminder that relationships were complex and messy, and your attempt to address the issues between you had only seemed to exacerbate them.
as the days turned into weeks, you found yourself missing minji more than ever. the silence between you was deafening, and the space that had grown between you felt like an insurmountable chasm. you wondered if you had pushed her away for good, if your efforts to address the issues had only served to drive her further away.
you couldn't help but notice how minji continued to appear in the media, performing with her group, smiling for the cameras, all the while masking the turmoil that had once been so evident between you. it was as if she had moved on effortlessly, while you were left grappling with the remnants of a relationship that felt more shattered than ever.
the clock on your bedroom wall glared at you with the numbers 9:55 pm. minji was still awake, she always was at this time. you memorized her practice schedule during the talking stage with her.
it was a bit ironic that you remembered her daily schedule but you couldn’t seem to remember to eat or sleep.
the past few weeks had been a whirlwind of emotions, and the attempt to repair your relationship with minji had left you emotionally drained. you were trying to rebuild what was broken, and it was proving to be both challenging and rewarding.
but it wasn't easy. the memories of your arguments and the pain you both felt still lingered, and they often invaded your thoughts, especially during these quiet moments when the world seemed to slow down. the disparity between minji's public persona and the reality you both faced weighed heavily on your heart.
as you sat there, staring at the clock, a surge of emotions swept over you. you missed her more than words could express, and you longed for the love you once felt from the girl. 
yet, there was a lingering fear that the cracks in your relationship might be too deep to mend completely. the doubt, the insecurity, and the uncertainty gnawed at you, reminding you that love alone might not be enough to heal the wounds that had formed.
you picked up your phone, your fingers hovering over the screen. maybe you should send her a message, just to let her know that you were thinking of her. 
it's bittersweet to think about the damage that we do
'cause i was going down, but i was doing it with you
your fingers typed and erased over and over again, the indecision evident in your actions. the glow of your phone's screen illuminated the dim room, casting a faint light on your contemplative expression. the cursor blinked in the text box as you struggled to find the right words.
"i miss you,” you typed and then hesitated, your thumb hovering over the send button. it was a simple message, but it held so much weight. would it be welcomed, or would it come across as too needy? you deleted the message and started again.
“how was your day?” you tried, hoping for a more casual approach. but as soon as the words appeared on the screen, they felt inadequate, empty even. minji deserved more than a simple inquiry about her day.
with a frustrated sigh, you locked your phone and placed it on the table. you leaned back in your chair, your thoughts a swirl of emotions. the turmoil within you mirrored the unease you felt about your relationship. it was as if your actions on your phone screen were a microcosm of the larger struggle you were facing.
part of you wanted to reach out, to bridge the gap that had formed, to show minji that you were still here, still committed to trying. 
but the other part of you was afraid—afraid of rejection, afraid of making things worse, afraid of being a burden to her busy life.
yeah, everything we broke, and all the trouble that we made
but i say that i hate you with a smile on my face
as the minutes turned into hours, you found yourself lost in your thoughts, a battle raging within you. the screen of your phone remained dark, untouched, a silent testament to your internal struggle. the clock ticked on, and the night grew deeper, but your heart felt heavy with the weight of indecision.
finally, you gave a resigned sigh, realizing that you couldn't keep grappling with this forever. with a determined exhale, you unlocked your phone once more. your fingers tapped out a message, slower this time, each word chosen carefully.
"hi minji, i've been thinking about us. i miss what we had, and i'm willing to work on things if you are. i don't want to push you, but i just wanted you to know that i'm here, whenever you're ready to talk."
you read and reread the message, the words holding your hopes and vulnerabilities. with a trembling hand, you pressed the send button, watching as the message flew off into the digital void. the anxiety settled in once again, the seconds stretching out.
the room was silent, save for the soft hum of the clock on the wall. the minutes passed, and you felt a mix of anticipation and dread. 
oh, look what we became
somewhere between now and the moment you had sent the text, you couldn’t help but feel like something was off. you picked up your phone again, only to be met with a blank screen of no notifications. 
all the things i did
just so i could call you mine
when you scrolled back to the conversation, you noticed your message didn’t say it had been delivered. confused, you decided to double check her schedule by looking online. was she flying somewhere right now?
as you searched for any information about minji's schedule, you felt a growing sense of unease. it wasn't like her not to respond, even if she was busy. and the fact that your message hadn't even been delivered left you feeling a mix of frustration and concern.
you clicked on various fan sites and social media platforms, hoping to find a clue about her whereabouts. but your search yielded no answers—no mentions of her current activities, no updates on her schedule.
the clock on your wall ticked away, and you found yourself trapped in a cycle of uncertainty. the more you searched, the more your anxiety grew. what if something had happened? what if she was in trouble or facing an emergency?
all the things you did
well, i hope i was your favorite crime
finally, after what felt like an eternity of scrolling, you stumbled upon a tweet from a fan account. it mentioned that minji's group finally had a break in their schedules for the first time in months.
your heart sank as you read those words. minji was still here in seoul. 
but if she was still here in the city, why wasn’t your message going through?
your favorite crime
moving to her contact once again, you about calling her. you missed her, you loved her, and you wanted to let her know that you were sorry for not understanding her.
even though none of it was your fault in the first place. 
your favorite crime
your thumb pressed on the call button and you brought the device to your ear. the sound of your heart pounded in your head and your hands shook.
would she be mad? would she be happy to hear from you? or maybe she would feel just as sorry as you were feeling right now? 
surely she can’t miss you less than you miss her, right?
'cause baby, you were mine
the number you have dialed is not in service at this time…
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a/n: this was literally so rushed im sorry LMAOOO
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