#and yet he is being told hes shit w no trust him the team its so fucked
Text
"did it feel quiete shit? yeah yeah it did" mick post Austin GP
#pls his galzed over eyes and the disspointed swearing god hes probably so mentally fucking drained#hes doing everyhting he can driving the fuck out of the car outperforming kev and either strat or luck fucks him over#and yet he is being told hes shit w no trust him the team its so fucked#f1#formula 1#mick schumacher#haas#kyle.vid#cota22#us gp 2022
417 notes
·
View notes
Note
Just saw ur post w a higher rank reader and im in love!
Imagine getting to work with a higher rank/colonel reader who doesn’t bark out order and is always calm, friendly, yet professional.
Treats everyone on the team like an actual person and is very understanding. They get everything done on time or EARLY (like a 3 week mission took only 1 week) with zero backtracks.
Bonus if reader gives everyone a “break time” even if its in war zone lmao. But some how everything works out and ppl are working w max efficiency and min casualty.
“Team bravo pls retreat to point B and switch places w team delta and take ur 40 min brk pls ty ty💞🫰”
Ghost hearing it 1st time on the radio: “ESCUSE ME!!?! WOT!!???🤯”
!!!!
years of experience told reader that nothing does better than good environment and she's more than determined to make her people not only efficient, but she's kinda like price? like, you know you can trust her and tell her shit you probably shouldn't, but her lips are sealed.
she also has many friends considering her years spent in military, so maybe it is easier to end missions on time/early, bc of her connections and being a manipulative bitch she can be if she wants something.
break time maybe not 40 minutes but like. 15-20, reader saying that they're supposed to take break, check their guns, check if there's anything they need before they will continue pushing forward. it's not because she's friendly, it's because she likes to work alone and check if there's any more danger than she already saw.
ghost is absolutely flabbergasted LMAOOOO and doesn't believe in shit like this so he follows up after reader. "tough time? we should take east route. we can move by the river" he'd say, seeing her in deep thought.
"i told you to take a break. it's disobedience to your colonel" she'd look at him, almost rolling her eyes
"it's not really a break, when you're thinking for all of us" and he gives her the look. "we're a team"
reader has a lot going on her mind and simon is the one to actually notice that between her playful nature and being all bubbly almost all the time. their bond grows stronger after this situation imo
#anon treated you bc i thought of them and i couldn't come up w anything#literally in love w them#call of duty#cod x reader#simon riley#simon riley x you#simon riley x reader#ghost cod#simon ghost riley#simon ghost x reader#simon ghost x you#ghost call of duty#call of duty x you#call of duty x y/n#exiles.simon#mw2 ghost
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
Eobard Thawne (Flash) - Oneshot
You started helping out at Star labs because your friend Cisco asked you to.
After the explosion the laboratories had gone to shit. You begged Cisco to abandon his job and just join you at Mercury labs. But he was loyal. You respected that. It was the reason you always helped. You trusted him, and he did you. Maybe that’s why he told you about Barry’s identity. It was a lot to swallow at first. But with all the weirdness you’d already experienced, you weren’t even surprised.
Helping Team Flash fight bad guys had become a regular part of your life when you weren’t doing your actual job. Although you held animosity for Dr. Wells for obvious reasons, you couldn’t just turn your back on the city.
It’s what led you to your current predicament.
A meta had broken into the labs and in an attempt to shield Dr. Wells from a blast, you were struck directly in the chest and sent flying directly into a wall. Barry raced in with his suit a complete mess. It was clear he’d been fighting for his life. When he saw your body on the floor it must have made him mad, because he’d hit the meta with the biggest bolt of lightning you’d ever seen him generate.
Your enemy was now unconscious and Barry was racing to your side.
“A-Are you okay!!”
You nodded aggressively.
“G-Go and help Caitlin and Cisco. I think he locked them into the pipeline. They could be hurt. “ He gave you a look before nodding with a bit of uncertainty, bolting out of the room. You stood up unsteadily as you used the table for support to grab a pair of meta cuffs.
“You shouldn’t be moving Ms. (L/N).”
You shook your head as you dropped to your knees. You huffed, forcing your body over to the unconscious man as you restrained him. The last thing you needed was him waking up and running havoc again. You rolled over on the floor, trying to level your breathing.
“You risked your life for me.”
He sounds a bit in awe and you turn your head.
“Why do you sound so surprised?” You smile despite the clear pain on your face.
“I was under the impression that you hated me.”
“Still do.” you chuckle.
For a moment you thought you would actually survive this. But the pull in your chest proved otherwise. You screamed in pain, and Dr. Wells flinched. Barry came running in with Cisco and Caitlin behind him. When they saw your body lift off the ground on its own, and your eyes glow a blinding white, they weren’t sure what to think.
“W-What’s happening!!”
“She took the blast in my place. But this…I don’t know what this is..”
When Dr. Wells was lost, they knew it meant trouble. You were no longer screaming, but your body was still levitating.
“I don’t understand this.”
He didn’t like this. Being a product of the future left him with a lot of knowledge. Yet this was not an event he remembered. This power he had no information on and it made him uneasy. Your eyes closed and your body seemed to drop in an instant. Barry was quick to catch you. All they could really do is stare.
Caitlin didn’t waste a second. She was advising Barry to get you to the med bay so they could run tests. Eobard stayed planted in his seat, for the first time a bit unsure of what the next move was.
~~
It was later in the afternoon that you woke up. Cisco basically squeezed the life out of you with a hug. You were smiling the entire time. You insisted that you were fine, but they were still a bit skeptical. You just told them you needed some rest.
Barry smiled, relieved that all of you made it out alive. For a moment he wasn’t sure. They were all laughing and smiling. Eventually they all left to give you time to rest. It was a full day, everyone wanted a little break. So Dr. Wells gave them the rest of the day off.
Dr. Wells lingered in the room with you. Your eyes were directed at the ceiling, fully invested in your thoughts.
“I’m glad that you’re okay.”
His words didn’t get a response. You were quiet, and he was starting to wonder if you were in fact not as good as you claimed.
“Ms. (L/N) are you al-”
“I know you’re Eobard Thawne.”
His entire body froze.
“What..”
This didn’t make sense to him. How did you know, for how long. He clenched his fist.
“You must be confused, I’m not sure who you’re referring to. Maybe we should call Caitlin back here to look you over.”
Your eyes finally moved from the ceiling, and when they fixed on him, it felt like you were looking into his soul.
“Trainer struck me with an electric charge that triggered the dark matter in my body. Turns out I was a meta this whole time and I didn’t even know. I know about you, I know everything.”
He had half the mind to ask if you were just referring to his past, but your eyes reflected knowledge far beyond anything he’d ever seen.
He expected malice, or raw hate from those eyes, but you actually looked sad. He could see the tears begin to gather. When a single one ran down your cheek, he wasn’t sure what to feel.
“You’re not going to win this Eobard..."
It hit him that you weren’t crying because you feared him, you feared what you apparently knew was going to happen to him.
His gaze turned hard, and he stood from his chair.
“Are you threatening me?”
When he lifted his hand and the vibrations started you sobbed. Eobard approached slowly.
“Please..”
You were begging, and for the first time in fifteen years, he actually felt remorse. He was actually standing over your body, watching you tear up. His hand felt unsteady, and the constant vibrations stopped.
He couldn’t do it.
He couldn’t hurt you.
Eobard cursed and you reached out, grabbing him by his shirt as you kissed him. He didn’t resist. As crazy as this all felt. There was something right about the feel of your lips against his. He huffed, sliding onto the bed as he leaned into you, returning the desperation of your touch. Your skin. Your hands cupped his cheeks, tongue trying to taste every bit of him that you could. When the both of you finally parted, your eyes held so much longing.
“Come with me..”
You plead.
A part of him wanted to surrender and follow you to the ends of the earth. He didn’t understand why he felt this way. He’d know you for months. The both of you had barely said two words to each other unless someone else was present. You always gave him silent treatment. This entire time he thought it was hate, but now it becomes clear. It was more sympathy for his predicament. Now that you’re aware of his identity, he doesn’t understand why you still choose to look at him like that.
Like you can change him.
“I can’t. I have to follow through.”
A part of you expected the answer, yet you still tried.
“I can’t force you, and I can’t change what’s to come.”
This was his decision.
“I guess I‘ll see you on the other side."
He didn’t understand what you meant by that, but when your body started to dissolve into golden particles from your legs, he felt a bit panicked.
“Goodbye Eobard.”
He reached out to grab onto your hands, but you were gone. He stared at the soft imprint on the bed that was still present. Head lowering onto the pillows, his shoulders shook.
Happy endings weren't meant for him. He figured that out a long time ago.
It didn’t make it hurt any less.
#eobard x reader#flash#secrets#powers#Barry Allen#reverseflash#eobard thawne#betrayal#sentinel#metas#past/future#care#hurt
18 notes
·
View notes
Text
The Hating Game mob!Tom x mob!reader Part 7
"Please tell me you told him to rot in hell and that was the last words he ever heard" As Kyle says that Tom chuckles. "No it was way way worst then that" You said "What you say" Kyle looks at you confused "I said nothing Tom on the other hand" Tom looks at you then at Kyle "I said and I quote "Oh by the way your daughter calls me daddy too" and his face was priceless" Tom laughs "That's a hell of a last words to hear and TMI" Kyle says which causes everyone to laugh. "Trust me you don't want to live with them two because you'll need earplugs everynight" Harrison says You roll your eyes and Tom smirks "Your just jealous you can't get girls to moan like I can get Y/n-" Your eyes go wide "Thomas they're children present!"
"Oh like they haven't jerked off thinking about a girl before" Both boys faces turn red and your jaw drops "Excuse me" Kyle rolls his eyes and Nate looks down "Who are these girls" Kyle smirks and mocks Nate "Oh to fuck Elena Gilbert" Nate's eyes go wide "I swear to god if you don't shut up!" Kyle laughs "And to think you were the more innocent one, Kyle what about you who's your crush" Kyle raises an eyebrow "Crush" He laughs "Oh sis she's my girlfriend" Tom smirks "That means he fucked her" Tom chuckles "What!? Kyle why didn't you tell me" Kyle shrugs "She was a virgin didn't want to tell anyone so I didn't tell anyone" Nate looks at Kyle confused "She was a virgin" Kyle nods
"Ya she's not the slut you guys make her out to be just because shes captain of the cheer team and all the boys are all over her doesn't mean she slept with all of them they only said that so they were popular while I can say that she actually was a moaning mess underneath me unlike those other assholes" You groan "Why are you two growing up so fast I remember when you were 4 and innocent now your 16 and already fucking girls" Nate puts his hands up "I haven't" Kyle laughs "There is nothing wrong with that you are still very young, Kyle shut up" Nate asks you "How old were you" You drink the rest of your drink "I'm not having this discussion" Toms jaw drops "That young!?"
You shrug "14-15" Nate groans "See! Everyone has already lost their V-card at my age!" Kyle laughs "Watch you'll be the 50 year old virgin" You roll your eyes "He will not and even if he did he would find some hot old lady" Everyone laughs "She wants to meet you" Kyle says looking at you "Who is she you haven't said her name yet or even described her" Kyle smiles "Her names Caroline she has blue eyes blonde hair she's a clean freak really caring and nice she's loyal I'm trying to get rid of her insecurities her moms a sheriff she didn't really approve at first but once I met her she was ok with us dating we've been together for a 6 months now constantly begging me to let her meet you she's really pretty like really really pretty"
"Your in love I know that smile" Harrison says "Its the same smile Tom had when he saw Y/n" Kyle's phone rings "Speak of the devil" He answers his phone "Hey, you ok" Kyle puts her on speaker "Yes I'm fine just day 153 of trying to get you to let me meet your god damn sister" "Well she just so happens to be right here" "Oh you lying sack of shit" Kyle laughs "No seriously she is sitting infront of me were on our way to Vegas so her and her boyfriend can get married then going to this beach house in Cali" Kyle takes a sip his drink "Oh nice tell her congrats for me and I'm meeting her when you guys come back because I know how much of a chicken shit you are on me meeting her so you won't hand the phone over to her so I can tell her myself" Kyle shakes his head "I am not a chicken shit" "Oh really then give the phone to your sister"
Kyle groans "Fine" He hands you the phone "Hi I'm Y/n Kyle's older sister" Kyle shakes his head "I'm Caroline I've heard a lot about you I've been trying to convince him to let me meet you but he's being a baby" You laugh "Ya he tends to be a big baby about stuff" Kyle rolls his eyes "How about if your mom is ok with it you fly to California and stay at the beach house with us I can take care of your plan ticket"
0 notes
Text
I Remember (Malcolm Bright x Reader)
Request: uM hi saw ur request post while i was scrolling through malcolm bright x reader tag lol so may i request an x reader w malcolm where reader's gil's niece or smth so she and mal know each other before he joined the team- and one day where mal was being a dumbass and reader was told to drive mal home and when she was securing his restraints he jokingly asked her to sing to him aNd she did sing and fell asleep on the bed by opposite mal aND he got a good amount of sleep like no night terrors and next day he accidentally slipped that reader ''slept'' w him and gils just like excuse me wtf?? Djkdkdlsjsjs idk i got this idea when i was staring at the ceiling at 4 am instead of doing my essays that were due in the morningxD sorry its p long. Thanks and have a good day/night (by @iwillboilyourteeth), [Prodigal Son-Masterlist]
Summary: Malcolm got hurt again. What a surprise. And, as always, you were right there to take care of him. Tonight, though, things took a turn. For the better or for the worse? Only the future would tell.
Words: 2,142
Warnings: language, love me some sarcasm, fluff, so much fluff, I love writing for Prodigal Son (keep the requests coming)
Song used: “I Remember” by Jason Manns
If you like my work & wanna support me: a coffee would be highly appreciated ❤
You were sitting in your apartment when your phone started ringing loudly, interrupting your movie marathon. Sighing exaggeratedly, you checked who decided to annoy you at this time. It was not too late but you liked your alone time a lot. Gil. Oh no. That could never be good.
“Uncle Gil. I hope whatever you’re about to tell me is more important than Harry Potter.” pausing the movie you were currently watching, you did not even give him enough time to greet you. A loud sigh could be heard over the phone. One, that made you laugh.
“(Y/N).” his voice was stern & you knew better than to mess with him. Yet, you could not help yourself.
“Yeah, that’s me. You called me, after all.” joking to ease the tension, your giggling was cut short by his next words.
“Malcolm is a dumbass.”
“What a revelation.”
“He’s hurt.” Gil stated. Throwing your head back in frustration, you knew he only called you if he knew it was not too bad. But bad enough to need your help. “I need you to come get him.” it was not even a question, more like an order. Immediately, you grabbed the stuff you needed & headed out of your apartment towards your car.
“Can I yell at him for being reckless?” opening the door, you got inside but before you started the engine, you waited for the call to end. Could not risk getting youself hurt. Malcolm was the stupid one, not you.
“I already did that but I’m sure he’ll appreciate to hear it again.”
“Good.”
“Drive safe.” Gil noted.
“See you in ten.” & with that you drove to the precinct where he would most likely wait for you.
Growing up, you spent a lot of time at Gil’s. Malcolm was there almost always, so you got to meet each other pretty early on. Deep down, you cared for him. More than you should care for a friend. And because of him being a profiler, you were sure he picked up on that as well. Malcolm was just nice enough to not comment on it. Besides, he would tell you that he was too broken anyway. The thing was that it never scared you away. It did the exact opposite, actually. It only made you want him more.
Did you ignore almost every speed limit? Possibly. Your knuckles were white because you had gripped the steering wheel so tightly. One of these days, you would kill Malcolm. He kept getting himself hurt & you were tired of being the one to drive him home afterwards. Of course, you knew Gil only called you because Malcolm trusted you enough but that did not change the fact that you were exhausted.
“What happened?” approaching Gil, your eyes looked around for a sign of Malcolm. “And where the hell is he?”
“Bathroom.” his finger pointed over. “He didn’t call backup & thought dealing with it alone would turn out fine.” Gil was, you could tell, almost as tired as you. Not only of Malcolm acting recklessly but also because of a long day at work.
“What a surprise.” your sarcasm got the best of you. But it helped you coping with your feelings sometimes. “Uncle Gil?” his head snapped up when you said his name.
“Yes?”
“Go home & get some sleep. I got it from here, promise.” your sweet smile was convincing enough & with a nod, he turned around & walked away.
“(Y/N)?” Malcolm noticed you when he walked out of the bathroom. His face was covered in bruised & by the way he was limping, you were sure that his entire body had to be sore. “Where’s Gil?”
“I sent him home.” shrugging as if it were nothing, you gave Malcolm a look. He knew what it meant but apparently, he wanted to play dumb.
“What?” his head tilted slightly & if it were not for his damn puppy eyes & for the fact that he was hurt, you would be the cause of his bruises. Not quite literally but still. Rolling your eyes at him, you crossed your arms over your chest.
“You’re stupid, I hope you know that.”
“I do, but we caught the killer, so it was worth it.” he casually stated.
“Is it really worth risking your life, Mal?” shaking your head shortly, you were not in the mood to discuss this any further. A simple gesture of your hand was enough to show him that you wanted to get going. “Come on, I’m gonna bring you home.”
“You’re mad.” Malcolm noted when the both of you walked outside back to your car. Sighing loudly, you stopped for a brief moment.
“Yes. I’m mad because I can’t even count how many times we’ve been in this exact situation anymore. And it sucks. Because every single time Gil calls me, I think he’ll tell me that you didn’t make it out like you always do.” Malcolm’s eyes widened when you explained how you were feeling. Your body brushing past his made him turn around & follow you without another word. It was silent between you two until you arrived inside Malcolm’s apartment.
“I’m sorry, (Y/N).” he spoke up, his voice much softer now. When you saw him struggling to pull off his coat, you walked over to him to help him out.
“You don’t owe me an apology, Mal.” your back faced him when you went to put his jacket away.
“I do. You always take care of me when shit like that happens. And I wanted you to know that I don’t take that for granted. If I were you, I would’ve stopped caring a long time ago.”
“You know as much as I do that this won’t ever happen.” & it was true. Malcolm could mess up over & over again. Could get himself hurt & all that. But you would always be here to catch him, no matter what.
“I don’t deserve you.” his eyes bore into yours & by the look he gave you, you knew he was not talking about you taking care of him when he was hurt. He was referring to you as a person. Basically, he wanted to make you understand that he was not worthy of your love. Which was bullshit to you.
“You deserve so much & it hurts that you don’t see it.” the conversation dropped for the time being. Navigating your way through his apartment, you looked for something he could wear to bed. Soon enough, you found something suitable & when you walked back into the room ,you found Malcolm already sitting on his bed, head hanging low. He stopped you when he noticed your hands grabbing the shirt he was wearing. Sending him a confused look, your eyebrows raised in question.
“I think I can handle it from here on.” taking the clothes from you, he went to strip himself out of his workwear. Surprisingly, he could not move his body enough to achieve anything.
“Yeah, I can see that. Come on, don’t act like that, Malcolm.” it was not the first time you had helped him undressing. As mentioned earlier, the two of you had been in this situation too many times to count.
It did not take long & he was wearing comfortable clothes. After asking if he needed anything else, you went straight to his restraints & helped strapping him in. It amazed Malcolm how you were not weirded out by the fact that he had to be held down in order to have at least a few hours of sleep.
“(Y/N)?” his voice was barely above a whisper but your humming let him know that you heard him. “Can you sing something for me?” it was meant to be a joke, he simply wanted to ease the tension between you guys. Thinking about it for a second, you came to the conclusion that it would not hurt to do that. Maybe it would help him fall asleep? Malcolm eyes widened when you actually started singing quietly. It was soothing & he closed his eyes to focus solely on your voice.
Hey you, when I saw you walk in there
And I couldn’t help but stare
At the way you move your hands
‘Cause it’s the little things you do that drive me crazy
And now, let’s forget about the crowd
And just concentrate on us
So that you can know what I want you to know
I remember how it started
You had everything I wanted
I was helpless to resist
But I didn’t want to
Only if you would hold me tight
As we talked all through the night
About those things you won’t tell no one else
I know that we’ve got long ways to go
But I want you to know
That I’ll be there till the end, so don’t you worry
I remember how it started
You had everything I wanted
I was helpless to resist
But I didn’t want to
‘Cause I fell in love with you-ou-ou
After you finished, Malcolm still had his eyes closed, he just laid there for a while, recalling the words of the song. He knew what you were trying to tell him but if he had to be honest, he was scared. If the two of you were to try something, he thought you would leave him the moment you realized his demons were too much for someone to handle. Malcolm did not hear you leave his apartment, neither did he feel a movement. Opening his eyes slowly, he found you sound asleep right next to him. Your peaceful form made him smile brightly. Contemplating if he should wake you up, he decided against it in the end. Deep down, he knew you would not judge him he if he had a night terror next to you. And if he were honest, having you with him made him incredibly calm. That night, he fell asleep almost immediately, without any nightmares invading his dreams. The reason for it was you. Only you.
Malcolm woke up early the next morning. Work called. Okay, maybe Gild had told him to take a few days off but everyone who knew Malcolm, knew that he did not listen to such orders. Or any orders, in general. You were still asleep when he loosened his restraints. He left you a note behind before leaving his apartment for work.
“Didn’t I tell you to stay at home?” Gil questioned the second Malcolm entered the office where the rest of the team was already up & working.
“You did but I’m fine.” Gil rolled his eyes at his words. Usually, whenever Malcolm insisted on being fine, he was everything but. Examining his face closer, Gil was shocked to see him so…well rested?
“Wait. How much did you sleep last night? You look unusually awake.”
“Oh, yeah. That’s because I slept with (Y/N) last night.” Malcolm spoke casually & went to examine the pictures that were displayed on the table in the middle of the room. Gil’s eyebrows raised at that. Dani only sent him a weird look & JT almost choked on his coffee at Malcolm’s confession. There were some things he did not want to know & his love life was one of it.
“Excuse me, what now?” Gil was the first one to press the topic further. Everyone knew how protective he could get when it came to you, his niece. When Malcolm turned around, he found three pairs of eyes looking sternly at him. Wait, what did he say? Realization washed over his face & he only now noticed how wrong his words sounded without any given context.
“No, wait…That came out wrong.” closing his eyes briefly, he prepared an explanation for his confused co-workers. “(Y/N) drove me home yesterday & she helped me with my restraints & all. She fell asleep & I didn’t wanna wake her up.” Malcolm’s hands gestured wildly, not wanting to give them the wrong impression of last night’s events. JT pretended to understand what he explained even though he had no idea & frankly, he did not care too much. Malcolm had lost Dani’s interest a while ago, she continued working on the next case. Only Gil was left. He gave Malcolm a knowing look, went over to him & patted him on the shoulder.
“You better take care of her, Bright. Or you have to deal with me.” his threatening smile creeped Malcolm out but he knew Gil was only trying to keep you safe. Maybe you were the right one for him. Last night was proof enough. It was scary to take that next step but on the other hand, he wanted to take that risk. He wanted to give it a try. For the both of you.
Published (04/20/2021) by Cathy
Tags: @octopus5555 (thanks for your support <3)
#malcolm bright x reader#malcolm bright#malcolm whitly#malcolm whitly x reader#prodigal son#prodigal son imagine#Prodigies#prodigal son x reader#reader insert#reader imagine#imagine#fanfic#fanfiction#jason manns#Song Fic#one shot#oneshot#writing#writers#tom payne#gil arroyo#lou diamond phillips#dani powell#aurora perrineau#brightwell#jt tarmel#frank harts
172 notes
·
View notes
Text
Here to Misbehave (Pt. 19 | S.R.)
Series Masterlist | Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 | Part 13 | Part 14 | Part 15 | Part 16 | Part 17 | Part 18 | Part 19 | Part 20 | Part 21 | Part 22 | Part 23 | Finale |
Summary: Reader and Spencer share the night together following her doctor’s appointment.
Couple: Spencer Reid/Fem!Reader
Category: Smut (NSFW, 18+)
Content Warning: Fingering, penetrative sex, degradation, daddy kink, Adults w/ Age Gap (10yr), spitting kink, unprotected sex (creampie), vague mention of subdrop, aftercare included
Word Count: 6.2k
MASTERLIST
—————————————————
There was something about the BAU bullpen that felt like another world. The open layout and the way it could shift from frantic rushing to bored silence in seconds sometimes made me feel like I was the most normal person contained within its walls. It was a rare sight, to see me there, and for good reason. I didn’t like to be there, considering most of my time there had been spent being questioned about homicide.
But it wasn’t like that, not that morning. I’d finished my doctor’s appointment early enough that I could hopefully locate the elusive Dr. Reid before he took off for lunch. And sure enough, just as I excitedly bounced over to his desk, I heard the ever-excited, yet comforting squeak of my boyfriend as he returned with a freshly poured cup of coffee.
“Hey, what are you doing here?” he practically yelled through a smile, rushing over to drop the mug on his desk. He couldn’t do it fast enough and barely made it. Once the mug was barely safe on the desk, his arms raced to wrap around me.
I giggled at the enthusiasm, considering it’d only been a couple hours since I saw him. But I was ecstatic to be with him and share the news I’d tucked away to keep safe on the way over. It was too much to bear by myself for long, and I knew he would be happy to help carry the load.
“I finished my appointment early and since I was in the neighborhood, I wanted to come see my boyfriend and give him the good news in person.” I explained. Spencer eyed me cautiously, careful not to get too far ahead of himself. I looked back with what I’d hoped was a cheeky grin, but I had a feeling it just turned into a goofy, toothy grin. Just as Spencer figured it out and his eyebrows shot up, another voice joined us.
“Mia stellina!” Rossi boomed, the bass carrying through the room like it always seemed to. It was the kind of joyful exclamation that demanded your attention, no matter how dark the circumstances surrounding you were. I knew that from personal experience.
I laughed again as he enveloped both me and Spencer in a hug that the latter only kind-of-sort-of cringed away from.
“Reid didn’t tell us that you were coming in today! I hope I’m not interrupting anything.”
I snorted at the implication, stepping back to buy back my breathing space. “You’re never a bother, Rossi.” And I meant it, even if he had just interrupted mine and Spencer’s very important conversation. I could table it for a moment, though. There hadn’t been many chances for me to talk to Rossi since the hospital. Although he'd visited less frequently than Derek or Hotch, he'd still come by often enough for me to miss him. He was, by far, the most unique member of the team. People always assumed it would be Penelope, but I stuck with my contention that it’s the quieter ones you have to keep an eye on. Not that Rossi didn’t love to talk, and especially when it granted him the ability to name-drop.
“This is why I like you,” he casually reminded, waving off a slightly offended Spencer on his side. “And I trust that Reid already told you about the plans for next weekend.”
As soon as I turned to look at Spencer, he immediately looked away.
Luckily, Rossi wasn’t obtuse and quickly recognized the display of guilt. “I stand corrected.”
“What plans?” I butted in before either of them could speak. Spencer grimaced at the monotone, as he was fully aware of the level of annoyed it signaled.
“I told him to extend you an invite to the next family dinner, but it seems like he’s selfishly planning on keeping you all to himself.” Rossi’s playful tone was his way of requesting I give Spencer a break, but I wasn’t in the mood for forgiveness just yet. After spending months trapped in my bed, I was always looking for an excuse to talk to anyone that wasn’t my roommate. And when it came to the team... I mean, they were like his family. It made sense I wanted their approval, right? Or was I really, honestly just seeking the approval of men like Hotch and Rossi because of my “daddy issues?” And oh, god, I didn’t want to delve into that psychology.
“How rude,” I deadpanned, instead, elbowing Spencer’s side just enough to elicit a pained exhale and an explanation.
“I was going to tell her. I was just waiting until we actually knew when it was going to happen.”
“He’s lying,” I told Rossi, earning a very adamant, denial from Spencer in the process that I brushed off. We both did. The pout that immediately followed was harder to ignore, but I could be strong.
Honestly, it was just funny to see him in this environment. When he was alone with me, he was usually the one in charge, but at work, Spencer was hardly that. It was the only chance I had to tease the ever living shit out of him with little chance of immediate consequences.
“Yeah, he’s lying,” Rossi easily deduced, waving a dismissive hand at Spencer before continuing, “But luckily, you were here. And whenever it happens, I hope that you’ll be there, too. It’s important for you to have a chance to socialize with us outside of the job.”
I smiled, finally looping my arm around Spencer’s to hopefully ease the pain caused by being ignored. Rossi, however, didn’t seem to be on the same wavelength, considering he gave another quick quip. “Hopefully you’ll bring the kid with you,” he teased as he turned away, pointing to the notably older and larger man at my side.
“How am I the kid in this scenario?” Spencer muttered under his breath, the pout still on his face, and still just as cute.
“Will do, Rossi,” I happily chirped.
“Thank you, stellina.” Rossi said with a wink, casually bringing both hands to his lips to blow each of us a kiss.
Once Rossi was fully out of earshot, Spencer sighed in resignation. He had complained before about the fact that the team had immediately felt comfortable with me, contrary to his own experience. But of course, it wasn’t fair to compare. I'd come into their lives piggybacking on their close relationship with him. Spencer didn’t see it that way, though.
“Why do you get a nickname?” he grumbled, dropping his head to the side to rest atop mine.
I didn’t let him rest there long, pushing him back away from me so that I could stand before him again. With my fingers under my chin, I flashed the brightest smile I could while dramatically emphasizing, “Because I’m a little star.”
Spencer looked down at me with a gentle adoration, his hand coming up to brush over my cheek. My face followed after him, desperate for any contact he could offer in the sterile environment. It didn’t really make much sense how touch starved I was; it wasn’t like he hadn’t touched me over the past couple months. Or even that he'd touched me any less-- if anything, it had been more.
But then again, how could I ever get enough? I was certain Spencer would call me spoiled, and in many ways, I was, but I didn’t care. If I could find a way to bottle up the way I felt when he held me, I would. Lord knows there were so many times when I'd needed it and he wasn’t there. I wouldn’t ever admit that to him, though. What would be the point?
He couldn’t always be there. Sometimes he would have to leave.
Unaware of the dramatic monologue in my head, my boyfriend sighed. His lips pursed again while he watched my eyes soften the longer that he held my face. “You certainly are little,” he concluded. I knew he wanted to say more but feared doing so might lead the conversation down a path less suited for work. Although, what I had planned wasn’t exactly work appropriate, either.
“You know we’re definitely going, right?” I replied, peeking my tongue out from behind my lips.
With a loud groan, he took his hand back like the question had burned him. “Fine,” he conceded before quickly shifting the conversation, “but I’m more interested in what you came here to tell me. How did your appointment go?”
“It went very well. I got wonderful news,” I beamed. There were many idiosyncrasies of Dr. Spencer Reid that I absolutely adored, but one of my favorites happened to be the one where his eyebrows jumped halfway up his forehead, his eyes going wide with a curious glint. Just like they did then.
“Does this news mean you’ll be staying at my place tonight?”
“It can…” As I spoke, I wrapped both of my arms around his arm and pulled him down to whisper in his ear, “unless you want to take a long lunch break and get a head start.”
“Someone’s eager,” he replied with a snort that didn’t sound nearly as promising as I’d hoped.
“Can you blame me?”
Before I could sulk too hard, he poked me on the forehead and chuckled at the resistance I gave to the action. “Lunch, unfortunately, would not give me enough time for what I want to do to you,” he practically purred in a barely-there whisper against my ear. “When I get home, I want to find you on my bed with nothing on. Do you understand me, little girl?”
“Yes.” I had to stop myself from making too much noise, but a pathetic whimper slipped out before I could stop it.
“Good girl,” he whispered with his retreat, “I’ll see you then.”
Suddenly, I couldn’t wait for the hours to pass me by. I couldn’t stay at the BAU for long, recognizing a sudden shift of energy as JJ began rushing them into the office right before I left. At first, I thought it was a case, but Spencer assured me it wasn’t. He promised me that he would be home that night, and that I didn’t need to worry.
But the hours did not fly by; they took their sweet fucking time. I didn’t even bother waiting in the bed for most of them. I honestly spent nearly 8 of them rifling through the shelves in his living room, looking for a book that was both from this century and actually in English.
After I’d rifled through his cupboards and realized that he didn’t have any food, I went to the grocery store and bought food, returned, unloaded the bags, cooked and ate dinner before I came to one simple conclusion:
Spencer Reid was a filthy goddamn liar.
That was my admittedly grumpy thought when I finally crawled into his still empty bed in his even lonelier apartment. His pillow smelled enough like him that I could hug it and pretend that I wasn’t waiting for someone who was probably not going to come back anytime soon. I thought about going home, but I decided being lonely in his bed was better than being alone in my own.
My temper tantrum kept my face sulkily buried in his pillow, so when my phone started to ring, I didn’t notice it. I didn’t notice much of anything, and before I knew it, I’d drifted off into a world where Spencer could keep his promises because his job didn’t suck.
Of course, even in my sadness my mind drifted to other memories spent there. I’d fallen back into the loop of memories of the last time we were together. I could almost feel his breath against my thighs and his hands raking over my hips. And like it always seemed to, reality and fantasy began to blur. Spencer’s hand on my thigh felt so hot, I was burning beneath it. My whole body tensed, my back arching in the hopes of finding him.
I wasn’t sure which woke me first, the low, gentle chuckle, or the whisper in my ear.
“Maybe I should change your nickname to Aurora.”
I sat up before I even registered the words. Reacting to his voice alone, my arms were already around him and dragging him back down before he could say anything else.
“You’re home!” I shouted, groggy but happy to not be alone. If I’d looked at the clock, I would have seen the hands pointing to the early hours of the next day, but it hardly mattered anymore. All that mattered to me was that he was there, in my arms.
“I guess it’s my fault for not specifying that you should be awake when I got home.”
Answering him with a sloppy, sleepy kiss on the lips, I relished the way he couldn’t stop himself from laughing through it. “I’m awake now,” I answered with a very poorly timed yawn. It luckily didn’t dissuade him, and his hands quickly worked up over my hips and beneath the sheer negligee I’d worn to bed hours earlier.
“What’s this? I could have sworn my instructions were to not wear anything,” he chastised with a smile.
“I don’t follow instructions. You already knew that,” I mumbled back. It wasn’t until I ran my hands through his hair that I realized that he’d already stripped down to nothing before waking me up.
How considerate.
His curls seemed so much longer than before, and the movements seemed to distract him enough to grant me some mercy. We both knew why I didn’t want to be naked yet. And it really was a ‘yet.’ I truly believed that I’d eventually be able to own my body again, but that point just seemed so far in the future. Spencer didn’t want to push it. Not that night.
“I’ll let it slide this time.” He shared the words with kisses over my jaw and neck, his hands growing hungrier by the second. They skipped straight from my hips to my chest, grabbing hold of my breasts through the thin fabric. He was almost out of breath already when he murmured, “Before we do anything, you have to promise me you’ll stop me if it hurts.”
“I know, Spencer,” I droned, but he kept going.
“I mean it. Any sign of discomfort, you have to tell me.”
“I know!” I shouted with a laugh, struggling to push him away while he continued to cling to me. Finally having managed to do it, I promptly fell back onto the pillow. As I rolled my body over to lay flat, I managed to grab hold well enough that I could pull him over top of me. “Don’t ruin the mood!”
He stopped to admire the sight before him. All I could see, though, was the way he looked at me. The rest of the world seemed to fade away, and I wondered what he saw when he looked at me like that. He looked at me like he loved me so much he wanted to break me. I wished he would.
“How could I ruin anything when you look so fucking perfect laid out in my bed for me?” He growled, his nails dragging over the sensitive skin of my chest.
I couldn’t tell if it was his intention or some kind of Freudian slip, but I was reminded of the day I marred his chest with a necklace-shaped mark in a very similar fashion. The memory made me giggle. “I’m not so innocent.” The understatement of the century.
“Maybe not, but there are still a lot of things I’ve yet to show you.”
I was waiting for the but. I knew it was coming.
“But for now, we’re going to go slow.”
And there it was. I thought to myself how ridiculously unfair it was that having a good boyfriend meant actually being able to rely on them to take care of you. Even armed with the knowledge of my masochistic tendencies, Spencer was too scared to seriously hurt me. Thankfully, though, he wasn’t scared enough to stop him from sliding his hand up my thigh and slipping his finger into my drenched heat.
“The question is how slow?” he teased, recognizing from the rocking of my hips that I was more than prepared to have him then. “How much should I torture you, little girl?”
“Please,” was the only word I could whine at first, but I still saw too much restraint in his eyes. I knew that if I didn’t convince him now, I might be there for hours before he gave me what I wanted. It wasn’t the worst idea, but judging by his already bloodshot eyes, I figured I might as well speed things along.
“Please, daddy,” I whimpered much louder, tilting my hips up to present myself to him. I could feel his erection pressed against me, his palm pressing down as he struggled to decide if he even wanted to keep me in place. I could see that desire to destroy me return to his eye with a vengeance. He knew that I was challenging him, but then again, when did I not?
“Take care of me,” I begged. That was the way I succeeded in breaking Spencer; in turn, he would break me.
He grabbed my legs so quickly and roughly that I was almost dizzy with it. Wrapping them around his own hips, he lined himself up and began dragging the head of his cock over my sex. Low and wildly shaking, Spencer’s words were only barely audible over the sound of the blood rushing in my veins.
“Are you ready?” he asked, like my answer would ever change.
“Yes!” I shouted, nodding like my words wouldn’t be enough.
Spencer had barely waited for the confirmation. Inch by inch, he slowly stretched me open like it was the very first time he touched me. His movements were so precise, so gentle and undoubtedly tender, that I thought I might actually cry.
I had almost forgotten what it felt like when he touched me like that. I would never admit it to him, but with every passing second, I could feel the love rushing back to me. That connection that had felt strained was reinforced and reasserted.
He just felt so fucking good. And apparently, Spencer had similar thoughts in mind.
“Fuck, you’re so tight,” he groaned, his head falling forward to knock our foreheads together. There was clearly so much effort going into not hurting me that I just found myself hoping he was still enjoying it. That train of thought made it more difficult when his next question came. “Does it hurt?”
“No, it feels so fucking good,” I sobbed, and it was the truth. My hips, though already growing tired thanks to the months of disuse, struggled to try and take more of him. And even when he was fully inside me, I still cried out to him. “Please, Spencer!”
“Be patient,” he said with a grunt, his hips pulling back just enough for him to slam into me with more force. “I’m going to enjoy this.”
The words made a swarm of butterflies burst through my lower half that already felt so full with him. The statement just sounded so perfectly selfish in a way I’d been dying to feel for months. I wanted him to reap the rewards he’d so obviously earned. I wanted to give them to him, really, but I just couldn’t make it too easy. It wasn’t our style.
“So it’s not about taking care of me anymore, is it?” I pouted, although my lips quickly parted again as Spencer increased his pace in response.
“Are you not satisfied, little girl?” he teased, reaching up with one hand to wrap around my hair, forcing my head back among the pillows while he started to drive into me at a reckless pace. “Do you need me to fuck you harder?”
“Yes!” I yelled, my hands reaching for him, digging into his skin and bringing him closer to me. “I want it. Give it to me.”
Whether he sensed the desperation in my voice or simply couldn’t hold it back any longer, Spencer showed an uncharacteristic level of mercy on me. He barely protested at all before giving into my demands. Holding my head back in that same craned position, he laid sloppy kisses over my throat before whispering, “My little girl gets whatever she wants.”
There were no more words on my mind besides his name, which I recited over and over like a prayer. Each time he filled me, my eyes could barely stay open and my lips were nearly bruised from my constant biting. It was easy to forget that the rest of the world existed— that it was past midnight on a weeknight and everyone in the surrounding apartments would probably fucking hate us.
But Spencer didn’t seem to care either. Well, that’s a misstatement. Spencer definitely cared about my volume, but he didn’t care about other people not being able to hear it. He made that quite clear when he gripped my lower jaw in one hand and pulled it down, forcing my mouth open for him.
He had that look in his eyes again. The one that told me there were entire worlds in his mind that I hadn’t seen. Deeply hidden desires lurking just under the rippling surface. I wondered how far they went and just how much Spencer would hurt me if I could convince him to.
“Tell me what you want,” he ordered through clenched teeth, his jaw tensed and eyes still burning. There was a hurricane happening behind those hazel rings, and I wanted him to let it out.
I didn’t know how to ask him to do that; to convince him to break me even while I lay before him already broken and barely keeping it together. I did the only thing I could think to do with his hand still holding my mouth open to him and presented my tongue to him.
Spencer tried to remain composed and stoic as ever, but his body betrayed in him the same way it always did. His eyes. From the second they flickered down to see what I was asking for, his pupils blew out and swallowed the comforting toffee color of his irises.
With an even darker tone, Spencer chuckled, “You’re a filthy, greedy bitch.”
It’s hard to explain how much the words filled every part of my body. The way goosebumps rippled over my skin and an undeniable, almost unbearable heat burned at my face. It only got worse when Spencer finally did as I asked, gathering the saliva in his mouth just to drop it into my own.
The second it hit my tongue, I felt so irrefutably his that I was high with it. My eyes rolled to the back of my head as I swallowed between hungry gasps for air. And when it was over, I presented my tongue to him again.
I did so good, sir. Please tell me that I’m good, sir.
There were no words, but Spencer praised me in his actions. He lowered his mouth to mine, his tongue sliding against mine until our mouths were connected in the basest manner. For all the destructive power he held, he kissed me so softly. He still kissed me like he loved me.
Neither of us lasted much longer. Spencer’s hand slid from my jaw to rest on my neck, and a moan tore through my chest. Even though he applied no pressure, the casual reminder of what he could do to me was all that I needed. I lost myself in the bliss of him, my hands tangled in his hair and holding his mouth against mine even when I couldn’t kiss him anymore.
His eyes watched me, still covered in the blackness of his pupils and that animalistic desire to claim me however possible. I watched those eyes the entire time I came, wanting to both grant him the submission he deserved while also selfishly wanting to see the control I had over him, too.
Spencer kept his eyes open as he followed after me, unable to resist the calling of my body, begging him to mark, use, and fill it however he pleased. I watched his eyes roll back ever so slightly, his breath hitching as he pulsed inside me in tandem with my walls that held onto him for dear life.
I was his. I'd known that before, but how easily I’d forgotten. How quickly I’d let some stranger and some lead lay claim to me and make me believe that I could be anything but Spencer’s beautiful little girl.
When all semblance of fight left our bodies, Spencer still managed not to collapse on top of me. Apparently not even me letting him spit in my mouth was enough to convince him I was alright. I wrapped my arms around him and tugged him down on top of me, feeling the comfortable weight of him holding my chest down to more manageable breaths.
That was all there was for a while; our heavy breath breezing over sweat-covered skin as we lay tangled together under the sheets. I soaked in the feeling of slightly uncomfortable bliss, enjoying the way that we didn’t care if it wasn’t perfect because it felt close enough to us.
“I missed this,” Spencer said under his breath. It was a rare showing of selfish honesty— the first time he’d admitted to me that he had been having to hold part of himself back for months. He hadn’t been able to love me like he wanted, either. He might have been worried that I would take it the wrong way, but in reality, I had never felt so relieved to hear it.
“Me too.” I returned, trying to assuage his guilt as much as I could. I knew it wouldn’t do much, but I needed him to understand how grateful I was to share the moment with him.
Then again… They do say that laughter is the best medicine. So with a bit of a giggle, I mumbled, “Not so much the next part, but this one, yeah.”
With a small, sleepy chuckle, Spencer slurred against the pillow, “You’re such a romantic.”
“Says the asshole who doesn’t have to get up,” I reminded him. I struggled to move underneath him as he seemed to drop even more dead weight on top of me.
Like I said: Asshole.
“I wish you didn’t have to get up. I don’t want to let you go yet.”
I rolled my eyes, continuing to push at his stubborn shoulders while huffing back, “It’ll only be a few minutes, Spencer. The bathroom is right there.”
Nuzzling his face into my neck, he mumbled back, “Too long.”
“I can never tell if you’re more of an old man or a big baby.”
“I don’t know, let’s stay here and talk about it for a long time,” he answered with a laugh. I hated the fact that I laughed too, my attempts to shove him off finally ceasing. He pulled his head back, looking at me with all the love in the world.
I wasn’t ready for him to look at me like that. I couldn’t explain why, but the idea of him loving me still felt so terrifying. That fear was compounded by the realization that he might see it.
“Get up, idiot,” I replied to hide that emotion. It also helped to distract me from my own thoughts, and I ended up biting on my bottom lip to stop myself from smiling. It didn’t work.
“You’re so mean to me,” Spencer whined as he slowly removed himself with a small grunt.
“Only when you deserve it.”
Normally I would have eagerly gotten up myself, but I realized then just how painful it was to move. Spencer watched me with a massive, overwhelming guilt that formed before I could even think of how to prevent it. I decided it wasn’t worth it to try. It wouldn’t work. I just let him guide my legs off the bed so that I could shakily stand and shuffle off to the bathroom.
The best part about the time alone was being able to pull myself together and massage the angry scar tissue.
It won’t always be like this, I reminded myself, we can be beautiful again without it hurting.
That was the pep talk, anyway. It was the thing that got me back into the room and under the covers. Curling up by his side was like nature’s medicine. All of my muscles relaxed against him... until he turned around and ruined the perfect comfortable position.
Groaning in the least attractive manner, I pouted the entire time we readjusted. But despite my protests, Spencer looked as happy and comfortable as ever. Plopping my head back down on the pillow, I narrowed my eyes at his contemplation.
“What?”
“L’amor che move il sole e l’altre stelle,” he answered, which really only led to my confused face shifting to confused and incredibly turned on again. But one word in particular sounded familiar, as reminded by Rossi earlier in the day. Or rather, the day before.
“I recognize that last word. What are you saying about me, Dr. Reid?”
“It’s the final line in Divina Commedia by Dante Alighieri.” He was doing that cryptic thing again, having apparently not learned his lesson that I would always beat the answer out of him eventually, one way or another
Through a yawn, I mumbled, “What is that, Dante’s Inferno?”
“Well, Inferno is the first section, but I’m quoting Paradiso, which is the third and final installment of the overall work.” And apparently, he was also doing that thing where he taught me really interesting new things when I definitely did not have the brain capacity to understand or retain the information. We both knew I would have to Google it later, so there was no point in lingering.
“Okay, so what does it mean?”
Spencer paused, his gaze sweeping back and forth across my face like he was searching for the proper translation. Like the real answer he sought was something that could only be seen by his eyes. Eventually, he settled on a simpler and equally romantic response.
“It’s the way he describes the piece of Heaven he saw.”
But that still wasn’t good enough for my constantly curious self. It might have been the brat in me, but it was almost like he was avoiding the direct translation. Like I wasn’t smart enough to come to my own conclusion about it. “I’m going to keep asking until you answer me,” I droned, more reminiscent of a nagging two year old rather than a twenty year old.
“Spoiled,” he remarked, lightly tapping on my nose before he sighed. “It means ‘the love which moves the sun and the other stars.’”
I thought about the words for a minute. Or rather, I thought about trying to think about the words. Unfortunately, my exhaustion and blissed-out brain got the better of me, and the beautiful words whispered, in English this time, went in one ear and out the other. Spencer was giving me a smug little smile, like he could see my cluelessness written on my face.
“I like the Heaven explanation better,” I sneered, trying not to let him win this one just yet. But it was obvious from the way his smile grew that he’d already won.
“Yeah, I knew you would. You just had to keep asking.”
Snaking my hand around his waist, I pulled myself flush against him. “I’m a very curious kitten, Dr. Reid,” I purred, gently rubbing our noses together in a very successful attempt to distract him from gloating.
And in a brief flash of self-awareness, I realized how utterly normal I felt. It wasn’t just average; unlike the domestic moments we’d shared over the recovery, this one felt so... natural. There was nothing foreign about his hand on the small of my back, and the rhythm his fingertips tapped felt like a lullaby I’d heard a million times before.
“I wouldn’t want you any other way,” Spencer whispered, breaking me from the brief aside and back into the present.
“I’m pretty sure you’d have me in any form.” I didn’t laugh yet, but once Spencer joined in, there was no hope left for me.
“Yeah, probably, but you don’t have to point it out!” he whined.
I watched as the color started to form on his face, first starting with his ears and nose before spreading out across his cheeks. That blush, still visible in the dim light, was still one of the most beautiful things in the world to me. I never tired of it. Paired with his embarrassed giggles mingled with my own, I felt the undeniable and overwhelming emotion that could only be described as ‘love.’
When the laughter finally ceased, it was just the two of us in silence again, although now we were so close together that we might as well have been one person. It felt that way sometimes. Not like one might think— it was not the supposedly romantic but strangely depressing idea that we aren’t whole without another. It was more like knowing that I would never be more myself than I was when I was in his arms.
Comfortable. Safe. At home.
“Spencer?” I spoke before he could fully close his eyes that he somehow kept open for me.
“What’s up?”
“Thank you.”
That seemed to wake him up, which was not at all my intention. In fact, I'd hoped he wouldn’t respond at all and let the words stand. But he must have heard the hidden message behind it, the fear that all good things must come to an end.
“For what?” he asked. His hand on my back started to make soothing strokes under the negligee, reasserting his presence with me.
I considered answering. I thought about word vomiting all of my fears of inadequacy and broken promises and a future of settling for me. But I couldn’t. I couldn’t ruin the moment with such stupid things. The feelings would pass with enough time, right? I didn’t want to bother him with it. I didn’t even know if the problems were problems at all.
“I just wanted you to know that I’m happy and I love you,” I said, instead.
Spencer still saw that I was hiding something, but we were both too tired to push it. We could always talk about it in the morning if we remembered, which I was hoping we wouldn’t.
“I wish I could help you understand how much I love you,” he murmured, removing his hand from my back to trace my jaw. “I can tell you that I want to marry you and raise a family with you but… I don’t think it’s enough.
My stomach immediately dropped. It fell so hard that I actually flinched from his hand, my face twisting into an even more obvious grimace. If my hope was for Spencer to sleep, I’d made a grave error. He immediately shot up onto his arm, cupping my face and inspecting my eyes for any persisting sign of pain.
“What’s wrong?” he pressed, his eyes bouncing back and forth between my stomach and eyes. “Are you okay?”
“Nothing is wrong!” I squeaked, my hands flying to his shoulders to pull him back down. “I’m fine. I’m just tired.”
Our eyes locked in a challenge; a silent back and forth of wills and pleas. And eventually, Spencer started to lower back on the pillow. He’d let me win this one.
“It is past your bedtime,” he said with only a whisper of defeat in his voice.
“It’s past every normal human being’s bedtime, Spencer,” I said before turning away from him in the hope that it would make that concern in his eyes hurt less. It didn’t.
“And you think I’m the old man,” he joked back, snuggling up behind me and sighing into my neck as his hand rested on my hip. “Goodnight, little girl.”
So soon after he spoke, he was already asleep. Unfortunately, it wasn’t so simple for me. Even in his sleep, Spencer’s hands found their way to my stomach. His fingers spread over the expanse of skin like the scars didn’t exist at all. Like it was just as perfect a placement for him to hold onto me as it ever was before. Spencer had a tendency to hold me with so much love that I no longer felt capable of containing it.
It was... suffocating. It took my mind back to images of his blood soaked hands in much of the same position. His hands felt foreign again, and I felt even further away. Like Spencer wasn’t actually there, and neither was I. All that he was holding onto was memory instead of me.
He said he loved me, but he didn’t say why. The only answers my mind would consider were things that had already died months ago. Things that his hands and kisses couldn't fix.
I couldn’t ask him why. I was too afraid of the answer.
—————————————————
| Part 20 |
#h2m#spencer reid#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid smut#spencer reid imagine#spencer reid series#spencer x reader#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid x y/n#spencer reid x you#spencer reid self insert#criminal minds self insert#smut
980 notes
·
View notes
Note
McShep prompt: no regrets?
Thank you so much for the prompt! @gingerpolyglot I really appreciate you sending this to me!
The pain in his shoulder radiates outward until his whole arm feels like it’s on fire. They need to operate, to clean up the mess of splintered bone, fragments of bullet, but he refuses to let them put him under, not yet. Not when Ronon, Teyla and Rodney have yet to come back through the Gate.
It’s only because he’d lost consciousness at some point or another that he’s here, pacing the gate room despite the way each painful step threatens to bring to him to tears. No one is talking, refusing to give up whichever Marine it had actually been who had dragged him through the Gate, leaving the rest of John’s people on the other side. Likely because they knew the soldier wouldn’t escape unscathed for ignoring the single, most important rule: we don’t leave people behind.
It was meant to be a routine mission. A quick return to M5-X385 to check in on the Zamains and make sure they were settling in okay to their new settlement. It’d been fine at first, a cake walk really, until some faction of the old Zamani militia, pissed at being removed from their previous plant (despite the fact that it was, you know, showing signs of the beginning of an actual ice age), showed up.
Their weapons were primitive, but effective. A bullet had caught him in the shoulder and while bullets had never taken John down before, the damn rock that conked him on the head from the damn trebuchet definitely had.
He never would have left them.
Never.
Ronon and Teyla, they could take care of themselves, John knew that. But Rodney…
Rodney, who was never meant to be a soldier, Rodney who, most days couldn’t even get a handle on his own P-90…
Rodney, who John had sworn to protect at all costs and not because he was honor bound to do so, but because… well, because it was Rodney, was still out there. He trusted Teyla and Ronon with his own life, trusted them with every single person on this base, but…
But.
Rodney.
“Dial the gate, Chuck,” he snarls up to the control room, yanking the sling that Keller had fitted him with temporarily from around his neck and he has to bite back a strangled cry at the way it jostles his arm. He somehow manages to keep up that stoic façade, despite the pain, despite the worry gnawing away at his stomach.
“Disregard that command, Chuck,” another voice rings out and John turns, glaring daggers at Colonel Carter.
“I said dial the gate!”
Sam takes the steps down into the Gate room two at a time, closing the distance between them, her own jaw set. “I let you convince me to allow you to remain out here until they get back, John, but I’m not letting you do this. You’re in no condition—”
“They’re my people!” He bellows, “and if you think for one second that I’m going to—”
The gate sounds, loud and echoing in the Gate Room and Carter steps back, pulling John with her.
“I’m reading Teyla’s IDC!” Chuck calls down and John whirls on him angrily.
“Lower the damn shield!”
The moment it’s down, the trio comes running through the event horizon, followed closely by the marines Carter had sent in as reinforcements.
Once everyone is through, the shield reactivates a split second before the gate dies and John realizes he’s been holding his breath.
It comes out in a whoosh as he pushes through the small crowd, good arm gripping Rodney’s shoulder and it hits him in this moment that he could have lost Rodney and he thinks his knees are maybe about to give out when the scientist turns to him, blue eyes wide as he pulls John in for a bone crushing hug.
“Oh thank God! I thought you died!”
And John can’t stifle the cry that tears from his mouth this time as his shoulder explodes with pain. When he goes to his knees, Rodney follows him, careful to ease him down as Keller weaves her way through the group, medical team right behind her with a gurney meant for John.
“I—I shouldn’t have left you,” John rasps as hands grab at him, but he pushes them away, eyes never leaving Rodney’s.
“You went down so fast and, and, and there was blood and—” It’s Rodney’s hand this time on either side of John’s face. “I thought you died,” he says again and it’s too much in this moment, with the way Rodney’s looking at him and John can’t breathe and--.
“Colonel,” Keller says urgently. “This can’t wait any longer. We need to get that shoulder--.”
He doesn’t hear anything else though because he leans forward, shoulder be damned, and crushes his lips against Rodney’s.
He savors it for about a half a second before he feels a prick in his arm and everything starts to go sideways.
“Sheppard—” Rodney says as Keller’s team manhandles him onto the gurney and John can only watch through hazy vision as Teyla and Ronon help Rodney to his feet, Ronon’s hand clamped firmly on Rodney’s shoulder as if to keep him from chasing after him.
I’m gonna beat the shit out of him later for that, John thinks, but it’s the last thought he has before darkness claims him.
---
He wakes up in the infirmary and unsurprisingly, he’s not alone. Ronon’s sitting in the chair next to his bed, legs propped up on the edge while Teyla is at his feet, hands rubbing his ankle through the blanket. Rodney’s up somewhere near his head and John can feel the weight of his hand on his good shoulder.
“’Thought you were gonna sleep forever,” Ronon says, dropping his feet and letting his chair tip back on to all four legs.
“You should not have delayed your surgery, John,” Teyla admonishes gently and he wishes that they would at least wait until he’s fully awake before the
lectures start.
“Yeah, but if he hadn’t, the whole Gate Room wouldn’t have gotten that show.”
John blinks at Ronon maybe a little dumbly as Rodney’s cheeks pinken slightly.
“Wha’—” John clears his throat. “What show?”
“Oh, you know, the one where you tried to make out with McKay in front of everyone.”
“Ronon,” Teyla chastises, but he grins at John.
“Clearly, it was some sort of mixed reaction to the adrenaline decrease and, and, and probably blood loss,” Rodney explains and John can read it all over his face, even slightly high, that he thinks there has to be some reasonable explanation other than the fact that John just wanted to kiss him.
Plain and simple.
That he’s wanted to for the longest damn time, maybe since the first time Rodney showed him the Puddle Jumpers. The problem was never Rodney, it was always John, too emotionally stunted and stupid to act on what he wanted until he thought he might never get it again.
“We don’t need to keep harping on it and embarrassing the Colonel,” Rodney huffs but he slouches down in his chair a little miserably.
“No regrets, McKay,” John says, and he would shrug like it was no big deal if he thought he could move his shoulder without puking all over his team. But it has its desired effect because Rodney sits up so quickly that he very nearly drops his tablet.
“I—what?”
“Well,” John amends, feeling his eyelids growing heavier by the moment, “maybe just one.” His head lulls to the side and he gives Rodney a lopsided smile. “Probably shoulda done that sooner.”
And Ronon laughs out loud, clapping his hands together like this is the best thing he’s ever heard.
“Told you!” He crows. “I told you! You owe me a beer!”
Teyla rolls her eyes but she does so with a smile as she rises, swatting Ronon’s legs. “We should leave you to rest, John. I am very glad that you are alright.”
Ronon is still grinning broadly, even as Teyla ushers him away, but not before he claps Rodney on his shoulder roughly.
“Did you… do you mean that?” Rodney asks, oddly quiet and John doesn’t know when his eyes closed, but he has to open them again to squint up at Rodney.
“S’it alright with you if I do?”
“Oh, yes. Of course, I just, uh. It’s just that… which is to say um, you’re youand I’m me and I just uhh… can we perhaps try again? Sometime soon? For scientific reasons, of course.”
“Rodney,” John murmurs.
“Hmm?”
“Shut up.”
“Right. Yes. Shutting up now.” It lasts for all of two seconds. “Really though? Are you sure? You literally just outed yourself in front of the entire expedition and, and, and—”
“I know,” John says and he’s so close to falling back asleep. “Still. No regrets.”
“Huh,” is the last thing John hears before the darkness claims him once more.
#mcshep#askbox prompt#sga fic#fandom: sga#stargate atlantis#sga#john sheppard#rodney mckay#john sheppard/rodney mckay#teyla emmagan#ronon dex#ronon is a little shit#and teyla is lovely as always#gingerpolyglot
50 notes
·
View notes
Note
rewrite au where, sure keith is autistic, but its revealed pidge and hunk are as well, and we get good enough personality from galra to know his weird behavior isn't a galra thing. alsooo, rewrite where the story actually cares about its characters emotions and we see keith deal with his feelings of alienation hes dealt with sense he was young from being an autistic and traumitized, and bonding with fellow characters who are autistic or traumitized, and learning its not a galra thing - aroklance
FUCK YES
should have known that post would have attracted you and your spectacular rewrites😌
honesty blaming his autistic traits on him being galra was so fucking lazy of them but what did we expect huh?
have the boy get some actual support they have him being strong all the time and calm and collected we havent seen him break down and cry once
it might be the angst bitch in me but bro for fucks fucking sake the dude literally:
saw his dead father after a decade of going from orphanage to foster care to group homes. he saw him again the only stable family he ever had that he lost 10 years ago. he wasn't even phased. tbh i havent seen anyone talking about this??? and like??? the dude was allowed to be heartbroken it was a very emotional scene. i get that they wanted to focus on the galra shit but he literally saw his father that he lost which started a series of unfortunate events for him in a vision and then had to leave him behind. didnt even see him talk about it or cry over him
we didnt see how his galra lineage affected him, like at all. he just found out he was half galra and moved on. his entire life must have turned upside down s h o w t h a t
he left his new family and suddenly turned into a robot, living with a bunch of aliens he's never met that put the mission above people's lives
ALMOST FUCKING DIED FOR THE CAUSE but nope of course it never gets addressed, no one even tells him that he is important too and shouldn't do shit like that. ffs the team probably didnt even know about it. how did that affect keith??? he almost died and he just moved on??? he should have been at least in shock???
HE LITERALLY MET HIS MUM THAT ABANDONED HIM FOR 19 FUCKING YEARS AND NEVER YELLS AT HER. youre telling me keith the hothead of the team wouldnt yell or at least sass his mum? sounds fake. she just gives him some bs excuse they spend 2 years on a whale doing bonding or some shit and everything is cool. SHOW US KEITH DEALING WITH HIS TRAUMA THAT WOMAN LITERALLY CAUSED HIS ABANDONMENT ISSUES FFS
those 2 years on the whale must have been really fucking traumatic. they didnt have any food, any clothes, any privacy. he was stuck with the woman that left him, that is a stranger to him. no other human interraction for 2 entire years. leave me in that place for 2 years with my best friend since middle school that I've never faught with? we'd rip each other's heads off, much less my mum that left me. yet its shown as a good thing oh yay it fixed him
and then he's just a bad shiro clone for the rest of the show. just following orders doing whatever tf is good for the universe shown as being better than everyone
and theeen we get the confirmation yes the autistic coded character? the one that always thought there was something wrong with him? the one that always seeked out a family (and btw the whole point of the family trope they were supposed to do was to give him said family with the paladins but nah he left them to go to the BOM)? yeah he left the only family he found fucked off to space because apparently all those thoughts he had all his life were right. yeah kids? if you feel like something is wrong with you and you dont fit in? suck it up and leave. great message there voltron
i got off topic sorry svdkhsjsb
point is: SHOW HIM DEALING WITH HIS TRAUMA CAUSE LORD KNOWS HE'S GOT A LOT OF IT AND REALISING HIM NOT BEING NEUROTYPICAL DOESN'T MAKE HIM WEIRD OR WHATEVER A LOT OF PEOPLE ARE NEURODIVERGENT HAVE HIM BOND WITH PIDGE OVER IT UGHHHHH
anyway ive told you before you're the only one i trust with voltron you shall rewrite the show😌✌️
EDIT: i just realised how off topic i went... oops? i mean you covered it perfectly on the autistic coded thing. if they had done what you said he would have been such great rep but we all know how voltron is with that ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
#ask#leo tag👽#also leo man you're arokallurance now👀#im so ready for my mutuals to wake up to my 3 keith smith rants#dem's rants
25 notes
·
View notes
Text
,,,,okay i know i just said i wasn’t going to talk about the deh movie but actually yeah imma talk about it for just a sec bc y’all actually make me legitimately distressed sajkfndsmjkgds
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hLQ_A0H1otc i dont have the braincells to do a shot by shot analysis right now but here’s what we’re lookin at
under a readmore because ghhhhhhh
firstly, let me lead with this: yes, from what we know, there’s a lot of things wrong with this movie.
the worst, in my humble opinion, being the bts treatment of the (very few) actors of color, and the lack altogether of any production team members of color. that’s something that should be acknowledged, talked about, and fucking dug into especially at the current fucking period of time we’re living in. it’s unsurprising, but disgusting nonetheless, and it set this movie up for failure from the very beginning. i’m a white person so by no means so i feel inclined or like i have any authority in saying what one should feel wrt all of that, however i will say if there’s to be a boycott in not watching this movie, that should 100% be the reason why. it’s fully poc’s choice whether or not to forgive the production team or give this movie a chance for the irredeemable shit it did in regards to handling the movie’s production. the movie imo definitely doesn’t deserve their forgiveness, but again, that is not for me to say.
there’s some little things too that i can’t fully think of off the top of my head - like, the whole making larry connor’s stepdad thing fucking irks me, for example, but, like...... listen.
if you know me like at all, you know my favorite word is nuance.
so, i’m going to say it outright: the way you people are approaching this three minute trailer shows literally.... none?? no nuance ??? is it no-nuance november over here or ???? like i’m begging you i’m BEGGING YOU to put aside your pre-determined prejudices against this movie and like stop pretending to be a renowned film critic for ten seconds because it’s really not as outright fucking abysmal as you are saying!! and also it’s possible to have opinions that aren’t completely fucking polarized to one side because guess what, the deh movie? a piece of media! what is the shit y’all are constantly preaching about having the ability to consume media critically ? because you’re trying to cancel a fucking trailer based on the contents of the trailer alone !!!!! hello !!!!!!!!
media is bound to be problematic. if y’all were as quick to judge any movie as you did this one, guess what you wouldn’t be watching any movies like ever <3
anyway lets get into the parts that are probably going to get me cancelled lmao
ben platt - listen. LISTEN. listen i know he’s too old to be reprising evan we ALL know he’s too old to be reprising evan i’ve heard this same argument since the announcement was made we get it we all know. haha he’s a grandpa yes bestie ur so right ur so funny wow. i do agree that we should’ve maybe had a not-ben-platt evan moment but here’s some things to keep in mind: the arguments of “oooh ABF is right there !!!!!!” 1. who’s to say he was available? 2. the environment of a movie is so, SO much different than that of a musical -- as much as you wanna pretend you know everything from just a trailer, there’s no way of knowing what scenes were added that might’ve made the movie like.. idk possibly more intense story-wise not even COUNTING the fact that just inherently a movie set is different than a musical one? like yes ben platt might be just being used as a device but that’s probably not the sole and only reason. Also, if i see One (1) more comment about his FUCKING HAIR 😃 first of all it’s not that deep like... if you’re so distracted by an actor having their hair different that’s on you, but going as far as to call it bad or distracting or being like Vehemently a way about it? y’all i know it’s most likely not your intention but that is literally just ben platt’s natural fuckin ETHNICALLY JEWISH hair sajknfgkjds!!!! i’m not the first to make this point, but like dsjnfkjdsg!??! y’all are being so mean about it and for WHAT? again, maybe not intentional, but it reads as like high key Very antisemetic and you should.... maybe not 😳 be that way
connor. the thing about a trailer is that they don’t show you all the scenes because they want you to come see the movie. right? can we agree on that? all the connor scenes in the trailer had SEVERAL hard cuts, omitting a lot of the scene -- like the computer lab scene! we see the beginning of it, there’s a VERY obvious hard cut, and then he’s running out! in my opinion my first watch through of this trailer i had a very like “:// hmm all these actors feel a lil like dry”, but man oh man the comments ive seen about connor. holy shit guys. this boy gets 7 minutes of stage time in the actual musical, and the whole thing is we DON’T KNOW VERY MUCH ABOUT HIM. not to burst your bubble, and i by no means hate connor, i love me some good connor lives fics and stuff, but everything we write with connor being alive? that is !! speculation on our part !!!! those are headcanons and us using the little context we have!! connor doesn’t have any significant development IN THE SOURCE MATERIAL that is being adapted into a movie !!! you 1. can’t fully judge a character with already limited screentime in a 3 minute trailer, 2. can’t really call what connor has canonically in the musical as in depth character development !! what is his arc then !!!! he pushes evan, goes to the computer lab, has an outcast loner kid moment, gets upset, takes the letter, DIES. sorry stans, that’s just how it is !! and, AND, everything in between, all the idiosyncracies, that depends on the actor playing connor! speaking of, you know who the actor is playing connor in the movie? that’s right, colton ryan! so, i don’t know, maybe... have some trust in the process, in an actor who ALREADY has played connor on broadway???? and also trust that you will get more connor content then u are seeing from a 3 minute trailer!! dhgnijsdg and some of the comments on like his appearance specifically? like are you really made that he doesn’t have long hair?? they kept his nails and his rings but nahhh the hair was apparently a MUST HAVE (even though like.. not all connor actors on broadway always had/have long hair but w/e).. REGARDLESS. tldr on THAT , the movie would have to do a pretty shitty job if they want to take something from someone who doesn’t have much to begin with and i think y’all are being extremely harsh on this point
jared. honestly i’m a bit worried too about the like... name change, because it does have the potential to be taking out some representation, but... they did change the name to fit the actor’s ethnicity? it’s a really [hmm] topic because, again, from a trailer and from what we have been told we don’t KNOW a lot of the context, but i think it’s important to remember that uh.. jewish people aren’t just? always white ?? there’s a possibility they changed the last name to fit with the [ethnicity] while keeping him jewish?? ofc there’s the possibility that they Didn’t and ... again hm that’s its own thing altogether but just reiterates the point that you can’t knock a whole movie just based on the trailer. you can’t talk about things you know nothing about.
alana. same thing as before, you can’t.... completely bash a character based on a 3 minute trailer. there was discussion about how she seemed ‘shy’ when talking to evan, which like.. maybe she is but also that scene was them talking in a library like if u actually take notice of what’s happening in the scene jdskngsd though i do share the general consensus with many others that she won’t get a lot of screen-time but that’s neither here nor there 😔 moving on
scenes and the setting. one of the things i was most like.. tentative about in regards to a switch from a musical to a movie was how they were like... going to do certain scenes? naturally, a lot has to be different when we’re going from a minimal stage set to an entire movie with like.. settings. there are going to be new scenes because a movie lends to have like, physical places that aren’t just [evan’s bedroom] and [murphy kitchen] and [implied school]. so new scenes, new conversations, slightly different pacing.. this is all to be expected right like are y’all geneuinely surprised here or ........
there’s a lot we aren’t seeing yet because this is a TRAILER. again i already mentioned this re: connor but like... again, y’all are making some Claims that just... fucking outlandish. there are so many moments in the trailer that are very obvious Hard Cuts. you don’t have all the information yet. you are angry at a tiny fragment of something that is confusing you because you don’t have all the context. is there a chance that some of this shit is just genuinely Bad? yeah but you really cannot 100000% say it with your chest and gauge it without seeing the movie and understanding what that scene is in context. lowkey uhhh saw some jokes about the zoe scene in the car and :’))) ? jesus? christ????
concluding thoughts because my brain hurts but like. you don’t have to like the movie. you don’t have to WATCH the movie. like all media if you choose to consume the movie you should do so with some CRITICAL THOUGHT. but, just like the novel (and i do not want to have any discussions about that i don’t care if you think it’s good Or bad that’s not what this is about) you guys are going in this WANTING to believe it’s bad and completely polarizing your thoughts on what this is going to be. yeah, maybe there shouldn’t be a movie. i genuinely think we could’ve gone without. but it’s just a piece of media, it’s not a progression like all your (musical is good, novel is bad, MOVIE IS WORSE OH NO) posts are suggesting. they are all just. different pieces of media stemming from a source. at the end of the day it’s just a fucking movie. if you already hate it so much, guess what? you don’t have to watch it! you don’t have to put so much needless fucking hate into a 3 MINUTE TRAILER. you can stop being performative and dissing it for its poor treatment of POC while then going on to make fun of ben platt’s hair and just targeting a different group like! please !!!
i’m not trying to be a fuckin’ advocate for this movie because there’s so much opportunity for it to suck, i do Not have high hopes for it, and i’m not even really sure i want to watch it (i bought the novel when it came out and have yet to read it, and i’m sure the movie will like.. elicit very similar vibes from me lsdngjkdsg like im just not uhhh feeling it) but y’know what? watching the trailer did not bring forth the fucking onslaught of hatred in me that apparently has fuckin posessed all of y’all and like djnsgjksdg plagued my dashboard for this whole evening. don’t come into my inbox trying to like.. argue with me about this (preemptively im turning off anon because i like i Can’t lmao) this is just like... a rant i needed to get out of me real quick.
SO. tldr for now: have critical thought about shit you consume, there’s no ethical consumption under [the film industry], you can’t judge a movie entirely on its trailer, and y’all need to calm the fuck down
#garbage.txt#deh movie#ask to tag#irrelevant#bc this is lowkey a vent bc jfc#this isn't @ anyone btw this is just [in general mostly just from my dash] bc.. sighs#anyway im gonna refrain from making any more comment on this its just. frustrating.#edit: ok to rb
23 notes
·
View notes
Text
full hearts ↳ lee minho (lee know)
genre: angst, fluff
summary: no matter how it’s played, it’s always the same ending - unless a new one is unlocked
word count: 2235
requested: “i would like to request an au with minho please and ummmm well :O IT’S CUTE”
warnings: mentions of blood
a/n: LMFAOO ALLY LOML I’M SO SORRY IDK WHAT THE HELL WENT WRONG HERE I- listen consider this a free coupon for a free request with no expiration date bc this shit went straight to hell LOL but ye ily mwah @walkingonwave also why tf did it get so long fjdfdhjdk
you hate it when someone plays your video game. not one that you own, but one that you’re in.
you hate it because, no matter how often it's played and how often you have to experience the same story over and over again, you never get used to the terror and pain lacing it.
there’s more to it than the eye meets, what the screen shows and what the player is served; to you, it’s simply too much.
“I swear, this game ruined my life,” minho sighs before showing you a smug smirk, “good thing I have one more.”
you shoot him a glare but still glance at the digital wristband he wears which, much to your relief, shows a glowing red heart next to two black ones. indeed, one more life.
“how can you even be joking in this kind of situation?” you ask between heavy breaths and look him up and down. “you’re bleeding from your arm, you just got shot in your leg and there are probably two, three broken ribs as well.”
minho snorts, “can you blame me? the player sucks.”
you can’t argue against that. the player does suck for sure, constantly getting you and the rest of your team in trouble, making you die left and right, using potions and other items like they’re lollipops handed out to children; honestly, you’re surprised they have even made it this far into the game - the final stage and battle. that said,
“yeah but you can still control what’s going on behind the scenes. maybe, maybe you wouldn’t be in the miserable state y-”
you’re cut short by the high-pitched, piping noise you’ve by now come to dread, not fancying the explosion it’s shortly after to be accompanied by; just as it comes, minho wraps his arm around your waist and pulls you up from the shattered pavement you had fallen limp on.
“as if you’re in place to call me miserable,” he sighs and runs away from the spot all while still carrying both his equipment and you. “look at yourself, I’m impressed you even have enough energy to complain so much.”
you remain silent, aware that you can’t deny it. the adrenaline rushing through your body is really the only thing keeping you awake despite you being in a fairly worse state than you had claimed minho to be in.
said one doesn’t slow down but occasionally steals glances at you and upon noting the exhaust slowly but surely taking over your features, he calls out, worry clear in his voice, “god damn it, y/n! keep your eyes open, you still have a full life left, right?”
though not all too pleased by it, minho takes the low hum escaping you as a valid answer and keeps running to the first possible shelter found. you eventually find yourself in a two story building, not in a particularly perfect state with the catastrophe of a final battle going on in the city but enough for shelter.
“minho?” hearing the energy gradually leaving your voice, minho bites his lip to stay relaxed and instead hums, waiting for you to go on. “how can you stay so calm?”
as he enters a bedroom and carefully places you down in the rightful bed inside, he answers simply, “if I show you I’m scared, you’ll start panicking even more, right?” slowly, he removes the heavy equipment from your body, showing you a small smile while wiping a wound on your cheekbone clean from blood. “I don’t really fancy that idea.”
the playful look in his face loosens into a soft one, lips curled up in a small smile and eyes warm, “make sure you get some rest, yeah?”
as soon as you hear this, your eyes widen and fear quickly fills you. tightly grabbing onto the hand now cupping your cheek, you question in a shake breath, “where are you going?”
“I have to find the rest of the team, it’s been a while since we were separated and I still can’t get in touch with them-”
a sharp pain settles itself in your abdomen when you hastily sit up in the bed but at that moment, you can’t seem to care any less about it and hold onto his shoulder instead. “w-wait, you’re just gonna leave me here?!”
minho lightly pushes your hand away and answers with clear confusion, “no, but we can’t just ditch the re-”
the conversation is cut short when the nth explosion erupts in the outside world, followed by a whole chain of more and you look out through the window, the city might as well be considered the hell on earth by now; the sight of dark smoke, fire and more and more buildings getting destroyed only adds to the lump of fear and anxiety in you. you look back at minho and with pleading, glossy eyes, you just barely manage say through your irregular breathing increasing at a ridiculously high pace,
“min, p-please, don’t leave me alone.”
he furrows his eyebrows, not understanding just how desperate you are for him to not find the rest of your friends, to the point where it almost sounds selfish. “what’s wrong with you? we have to find the guys to finish the ga-”
right then, just as he catches a sole tear escaping your eye, realization seems to sink down on him, features once again softening. it’s nothing about selfishness at all, nothing about wanting to ‘ditch’ the rest of your friends. it’s simply the fear and pain of losing the person most dear to you - him.
“y/n...” minho’s hand returns to your cheek, this time to tenderly wipe the corner of your eye dry and as he speaks, his voice is almost comforting even during the definition of war currently going on, “we’ve played this game so, so many times, baby. you already know I’m always right with you.”
eyes shutting close, you lean into the touch of his hand and whisper, “you know that’s a lie, minho; I hate this game so much, we play everything together with the other guys, beat the final stage every, damn, time but we never get a happy ending. that shit just doesn’t exist in this game and I can’t handle it anymore.”
just as your vent of panic comes to an end, your wristband suddenly starts beeping, two quick, disturbing tunes. even more confused, minho looks down at its screen only for his jaw to drop; out of your three hearts, only a half of the last one is still shining and instead of the bright red, it’s a purple.
with a mix of anger and his own panic, minho groans while scanning your body for any possible causes of it, “when the fuck did you get poisoned?!” before going on, he finally finds a dark patch on your upper arm, staining it with the same shade of purple as shown on the screen. “why did you never tell me?”
despite the sobbing you’ve broken out in in the middle of the chaos, you choke out, “wouldn’t matter, player drained it all.”
minho’s jaw clenches and while he himself stays quiet, his mind is screaming, trying to figure out how to solve the situation. reaching out to the sheets under you, he pulls off a strip and hurries to wrap it around your arm in hopes of the poison to not spread as fast anymore. “listen well, alright?” he begins as he ties a tight knot. “don’t move or you’ll only lose even more health points; I don’t care if there’s never a happy ending, I won’t have you dying on me before we’re even done here.”
“but-”
“I can’t have you getting scared either. I won’t be able to focus on the game if I know you’re scared,” minho interrupts. he cups your face, solid eyes locking with your own, words gentle as they’re uttered,
“look at me, y/n. don’t think of anything else, just look at me.”
though staying quiet, you do as told. you do as told, relishing in the warmth radiating from his hands, letting yourself relax at the sight of your boyfriend so close up even though he looks like mess on two legs. you do as told, only for one tear after another to build up in your eyes.
minho leans his forehead against yours. when he whispers, you notice that you’re not the only scared one here, the shakiness in it revealing more than enough. all that said, he still manages to say every word you both need to hear and trust.
“just a little more... I don’t care about a happy story, if the game’s going to end, I want it to end with you next to me so hang on just a little more.”
whether it’s the pain, exhaust from the poison or you simply finding a sense of calm for the first time in a good while, you don’t know but it nevertheless leads you to slowly give into unconsciousness.
the last thing you just barely manage catching is a feather-light kiss to your forehead and a tenderly spoken assurance,
“I’ll be back before you know it. I promise.”
who knows how long it’s been? probably no one, but long enough for the screen of your wristband to meet you with three now full, red hearts as soon as you wake up.
you stare at your hands curled up right in front of your face and even though your vision isn’t clear enough after sleeping, you can still make out how they’re free from bruises, wounds and dusts. furthermore, it’s quiet. uncomfortably quiet, purely because you’re not used to a sound clean from explosions and other rumbling noises. it confuses you for a second and you start wondering if there’s been a restart. however, realizing that you’re still in the same, unknown bedroom as before and remembering that you have yet to go through the ending of the game, you know it’s still not over.
barely daring to look away from your hands even the slightest bit, you think for yourself, “if it’s not over, what’s going o-”
“finally up, sleeping beauty?”
a sharp gasp emits from you as you hear this and within moments, you’re sitting back up in the bed. by the edge of it, he sits; the window invites the morning sun you haven’t seen in what feels like a lifetime, its light illuminating his face in gentle shade of orange; a smile graces his lips and even under strands of hair, the gleam in his eyes is clear, bright upon finally seeing your own open.
four seconds. that’s what it takes for you to process that, as unfamiliar as this scene is after playing the game so many times, it actually is minho sitting right next to you, in person, pure flesh and blood. four seconds is what it takes until you launch yourself at him, arms tightly wrapping around his neck, face digging into the crook of it.
you take a deep breath, inhaling the scent you’ve grown fond of after spending so much time with minho. when you don’t say anything, he asks, “don’t wanna know what happened?”
you shake your head. “I don’t care.”
an airy chuckle escapes minho. his arms wrap around your waist and hold you closer to him and while starting to explain anyway, he unconsciously starts swinging your bodies from side to side. “believe it or not, that stupid player unlocked the secret ending.”
though confused, you don’t bother moving the slightest bit while humming in confusion. he doesn’t either and instead continues, “turns out if you beat the game in critical mode and gather all trophies, you unlock the secret ending.”
“and... what exactly happens in the secret ending?”
“in the secret ending...” minho murmurs, “the whole team survives.” as if on cue, loud yelling and laughters can suddenly be heard outside the bedroom. you’re barely aware of it though as he pulls away, just enough to get a look of your face. “the city can rebuild again...” he momentarily glances to the side where the window shows an unusually peaceful view. you follow his gaze, though only until his index finger and thumb takes a hold of your chin, turning you back to face him. “and you and me...”
with the current being through and through unknown to you, you find yourself growing more nervous than ever. when his thumb just barely grazes your bottom lip, your breath hitches and hands drop down to his shoulders, tightly grabbing onto them.
the time minho spends on leaning closer feels painfully long and yet, you’re barely aware of exactly when the barely existent gap eventually is shut. his lips are soft against your own, slowly moving against them. the feeling of it alters between the one of featherlight, pure pecks and long, passionate kisses and you can swear it’ll drive you insane right there and then.
you don’t though. instead, you can only melt under the touch, the loving hold around you leaving you in a serenity in the finest sense of the word.
when you eventually part, minho’s hand travels upwards to tuck stray hair behind your ear as he looks at you with a smile bigger than you’ve ever seen on him,
“stay together.”
maybe, just maybe, this game isn’t so bad after all.
#stray kids#stray kids imagine#stray kids imagines#lee know#lee minho#bang chan#seo changbin#hwang hyunjin#han#han jisung#lee felix#kim seungmin#i.n#yang jeongin#angst#fluff
52 notes
·
View notes
Text
Left...
Yes! It was on the last second but i did it! Lets finish this year off with a bang baby! Or even better, with a YANG!
Jaune: morning guys. *sits down at the table*
RWB_/Pyrrha: *eating breakfast* morning.
Ruby: where are ren and nora?
Jaune: still on the room, just finished taking a shower and they told me to come and not wait for them, so i guess that means we won't see them at least until lunch.
Weiss: hmph, perverts.
Blake: *reading her book* didn't you kept ruby back almost every day after you hooked up too?
Weiss: *blushes* t-thats different!
Blake: considering how none of you has a male genital, yeah, i know it's different.
Weiss: *dark red* i hate you.
Ruby: *giggles*
Jaune: so, where's yang?
Ruby: she was feeling sick earlier today and told us to go ahead without her.
Jaune: is she okay?
Ruby: probably, it's been happening for a few days now, i thought she had already told you.
Jaune: no, she didn't. I had no idea she was feeling bad. *gets up* i'll go see her. *turns around and faces yang.*
Yang: *with a uneasy expression.* hey. . .
Jaune: hey, what's up? Are you feeling sick?
Yang: n-no, i'm fine i just. . . *sigh* can we. . .talk, just you and me?
Jaune: sure, did something happened?
Yang: on the room, just you and me. *walks away with jaune right after her.*
Pyrrha: what's wrong with her?
Ruby: we have no idea either.
Blake: actually. . .i might have an idea.
RW__/Pyrrha: *raise eyebrow.*
*At RWBY's dorm*
Jaune: so, what's up?
Yang: can you. . .sit down for a bit?
Jaune: err. . .sure. *sits down* are you okay? You look a bit pale. Ruby told me you've been feeling a bit sick the last few days.
Yang: i-i'm okay, i promise, i just. . .look, it's just that this is very hard to explain.
Jaune: what's hard to explain? You're starting to get me nervous.
Yang: . . . *takes in a deep breath before exhaling* jaune. . .do you love me?
Jaune: of course! Why are you asking me that?
Yang: do you know what you wanna do after beacon?
Jaune: we talked about this already didn't we? Our graduation is going to be in just three months, so after that we're going to find a nice apartment in vale and start doing missions to create a name for ourselves, wasn't that the plan?
Yang: i know, but what after that? Don't you have any other plans for after that?
Jaune: i thought we agreed to just see what happens after we get our apartment, take things slowly right? I mean, i have some plans and things i want to do but its nothing we need to worry about for now.
Yang: *avoiding his eyes with a guilty expression* but. . .what if something happened? Something big that would change our lives forever?
Jaune: yang, what are you talking about? I can't really understand where this is all going.
Yang: . . .i'm pregnant.
Jaune: . . .please come again?
Yang: i'm pregnant jaune.
Jaune: w-wait, what!? How did that happened!?
Yang: remember a week ago? When we went to a date to celebrate our two years together?
Jaune: yeah?
Yang: and remember that by the end of the night we went to junior's and got totally wasted?
Jaune: err. . .kinda? My memory of that night isn't perfect.
Yang: well, we got drunk as hell after a drinking competition and decided to rest on a nearby hotel, one thing lead to another and we started to. . . *pink* you know what.
Jaune: *blushes* y-yeah, i remember that part all to well if i'm being honest. B-but wait, i was using a condom on that day, how did you got pregnant?
Yang: jaune, we literally destroyed the bed while doing it, i don't think the cheap condoms we had were made to survive to our. . . *red* intense nights.
Jaune: *looking down, very nervously* so. . .you're really pregnant?
Yang: *nods* i made the test three times, its was positive on all of them.
Jaune: wow. . .so you really are pregnant. . .
Yang: are. . .are you mad?
Jaune: what? No, i'm not mad, i just. . . *gets up* i need some time to grasp the situation.
Yang: w-where are you going?
Jaune: *on the door* i just. . .give me some time okay?
Yang: o-okay.
Jaune: *leaves*
Yang: . . . *sighs and sits down, wandering on her thoughts*
*one hour later*
Ruby: *walks on her dorm* yang?
Yang: o-oh *forcing a smile* hey sis, whats up?
Ruby: . . .are you okay?
Yang: if i'm okay? What are you talking about? Of course i'm okay.
Weiss: yang, we know it.
Yang: know about what?
Pyrrha: blake told us that you were. . .uhm. . .well, pregnant.
Yang: *eyes wide, looking at blake* YOU KNEW!?!?
Blake: i saw you buying the tests yesterday, and after seeing you earlier i knew that the result was positive.
Yang: . . .
Ruby: so, how are you feeling?
Yang: . . .honestly? im freaking out. What if i'm not ready to be a mother? What if i'm not ready to raise a kid?
Ruby: come on, you always took care of me ever since i was a kid, if anyone here knows how to be like a mother, this person is you.
Pyrrha: besides, you're not going to be alone, jaune is going to be there for both of you.
Yang: yeah. . .i guess you're right.
Weiss: speaking of which, where's arc?
Yang: i don't know, after i told him i was pregnant he left saying he needed some time to think.
Blake: for how long he's been out?
Yang: an hour. . .i think.
Ruby: an hour!? Just where is he!?
Yang: i said i don't know, he's probably at the rooftop or somewhere like that.
Weiss: shouldn't he be here with you? This is unbelievable!
Yang: i-its okay, he's probably just thinking about situation.
Weiss: that's no excuse to let you alone and freaking out!
Ruby: im going to call him *dials jaune on her scroll* . . . . . .huh?
Yang: what?
Ruby: it says jaune's scroll is turned off.
Pyrrha: what? But jaune never turns his scroll off.
Blake: isn't him on your room?
Pyrrha: *walks off RWBY's dorm and knocks on her team's door*
Nora: *opens door* hey pyrrha. *looks at the crowd staring at her from across the corridor* what's going on?
Pyrrha: we can explain later, but now have you seen jaune?
Nora: yeah, he passed here almost an hour ago.
Ruby: do you know where he is?
Nora: no idea. He came in a hurry while talking to someone on his scroll.
Pyrrha: talking to who?
Nora: *shrugs* i don't know, all i heard was that jaune was talking about buy a passage home or something like that, then he picked his bags and ran away.
RWBY/Pyrrha: HE DID WHAT!?
Nora: he picked his bags and left, why? You guys don't really think he left for gold right? I mean, what reason could he have to suddenly run away from beacon?
RWB_/Pyrrha: . . . *looks back to yang*
Yang: *in shock* he. . .left?
Nora: hey, whats going on? Why is everyone so nervous?
Pyrrha: w-wait, there's something wrong, jaune wouldn't just leave like that.
Weiss: well, he clearly just did!
Ruby: pyrrha is right, jaune wouldn't run away like that! M-maybe he just-
Yang: SHUT UP!!!
*CRACK!*
RWB_/_NP_: *staring at a red eyed yang whose fist just went through a wall* . . .
Yang: *taking deep breaths*
Ruby: y-yang, we don't know everything yet, h-he might just-
Yang: JUST WHAT RUBY!?!? I THINK IT'S PRETTY OBVIOUS WHAT HAPPENED!!!
Ruby: please calm do-
Yang: DON'T TELL ME TO CALM DOWN RUBY!!! I'M NOT IN THE MOOD FOR THIS SHIT!!!
Ruby: . . .
Yang: I KNEW IT!!! I FUCKING KNEW IT!!! DAD ALWAYS TOLD ME TO BE CAREFUL AROUND BOYS BUT I WAS STUPID ENOUGH TO NOT LISTEN TO HIM!!!
Ruby: y-yang-
Yang: *with hair on fire* WHAT THE HELL WAS I THINKING!?!? I KNEW THAT WAS GOING TO HAPPEN BUT I LET HIS STUPID SMILE AND CUTE FACE TRICK ME!!! I KNEW I SHOULDN'T HAVE TRUSTED HIM!!! THAT ASSHOLE!!! BASTARD!!! SON OF A BITCH!!!!!! *punches the wall, spreading a web-like crack all over it, letting out ragged breaths*
Ruby: *carefully getting closer* . . .yang?
Yang: *sniff*
Ruby: y-yang?
Yang: *falls on her knees, still facing the wall* . . .why did he left me. . . *sniffs, the fire on her hair slowly fading* just what is wrong with me?
RWB_/_NP_: . . .
Yang: *turns to ruby, her eyes back to lilac and filled with tears* why does everyone i love ends up leaving me?
Ruby: *tearing up*
Yang: am i that terrible of a person? First my mom, then summer and now jaune. . .why does everyone i love hates me so much?
Ruby: *kneels down, pulling yang into a tight hug* that's not true! We all love you! And you're a wonderful person!
Weiss: *wiping some tears* that's right, ruby is telling the truth.
Yang: *sniffs, now staring at weiss* . . .
Weiss: yes, you can be very annoying sometimes, but still, you're one of the most wonderful and caring people i've ever met, and if they can't see that, they're the ones losing it.
Blake: she's right, you're wonderful and they're the one losing if they can just give up on you for no reason.
Yang: but. . .what am i going to do now? How am i gonna raise the baby without jaune?
Ruby: well, if i remember well, you always took care of me when i was younger so i think you had a lot of practice with raising kids.
Pyrrha: plus, you're not alone, i think i speak for everyone when i say that if you're going to need help to raise your son or daughter, we will be there to help you.
Ruby: well said.
Weiss: of course we will.
Blake: *nods*
Yang: . . . *sniffs, letting go of ruby and opening a small smile* thanks girls, you're all amazing.
Nora: i don't really know what's going on, but i'll help you too if you need someone to break legs!!!
Yang: *chuckles, wiping her tears* thanks nora.
Nora: don't thank me! Just come here! *pulls her into a bone crushing hug.*
Ruby: us too! *pulls the others and hug yang*
Yang: heh. . . *hugs them back* thank you girls.
???: wow. . .err, did i came in a bad time?
RWBY/_NP_: *looks at the doorway where jaune is standing with a pair of bags on hand* JAUNE!?
Jaune: *confused* yeah? That's me. *looking at the dented walls* what happened? Did you girls fight or something? And- *notices yang's disturbed expression* yang? *drops his bags and walks closer* what's wrong? Why are you staring at me like tha-
Weiss: *standing on his way* back off.
Jaune: what? Weiss, can you please let me-
Weiss: no! Don't you think you did enough already!? Actually, why did you even came back!? You forgot one of your comics or something stupid like that!?
Jaune: wait, what? What are you talking about?
Blake: about you abandoning yang.
Jaune: me abandoning what!? What are you guys talking about!?
Yang: nora told us everything jaune, stop playing dumb!
Jaune: what? Yang, i have no idea what you're talking about, im not planning to leave you.
Yang: oh yeah? Then where were you all this time!?
Jaune: . . . *sighs* well, after we talked i went to the balcony to get some fresh air and calm down a bit but all i managed to do was get in panic. *rubbing the back of his head while looking away* i had no idea what i was going to do or if i was ready to be a father so i called my mom and asked for help. After that i went to vale to buy some things.
Yang: if you were just going to buy a few things then why did you had to take your bags?
Jaune: well. . .cause mom's list of things was a bit big. *picks the pair of bags, opening it and showing a ton of different stuff*
Ruby: what all this stuff?
Jaune: well, these things are lots of skin and massage lotions, medicines for any problems yang can deal with during pregnancy, vitamins for her and the baby, and a few bras and panties with extra sizes since mom told me a woman's breasts grow because of lactation and her hips grow a bit as well during the months of pregnancy.
Pyrrha: so you've been out all this time to buy all of this stuff?
Jaune: yeah, i've seen my mom getting pregnant four times and i know how complicated it can be, so i wanted to buy everything to make sure her pregnancy go smoothly.
Ruby: if that's all then why didn't you answered when i called you!?
Jaune: *sheepishly* well, i was talking with my mom the whole time while buying the stuff, and because of that the battery of my scroll died.
Blake: wait, so what were the passages nora told us about?
Jaune: mom insisted that after beacon is over, me and yang go back to my home so she can teach us a few stuff to help during pregnancy.
Weiss: so you were out all this time just to buy things for yang's pregnancy?
Jaune: yeah, basically.
Weiss: . . .i honestly can't believe you.
Ruby: i can, this sounds just like something jaune would do.
Yang: pff. . .
Ruby: yang?
Yang: *chuckling* all this time. . .i was getting angry and worried because of nothing. . . *sighs, looking down* i feel so stupid right now.
Jaune: *walks to her, pulling yang closer* did you really think i was going to abandon you? Specially now?
Yang: . . .yeah. i-
Jaune: *pulls her into a tight hug*
Yang: jaune?
Jaune: im sorry.
Yang: wait, sorry for what?
Jaune: i should've warned where i was going, but because i didn't do that you thought i had abandoned you. I know how much you're afraid of being abandoned and i made you feel like i abandoned you when you needed me the most, i'm really sorry.
Yang: what? *breaks the hug* jaune, i called you a lot of bad names and said horrible things just because i thought you left me. . .ruby and pyrrha tried to tell me you would never do that but i ignored them and kept cursing at you just because you spent an hour away from me. If anyone here needs to apologize this person is me.
Jaune: can we just agree that we both messed up, we both feel bad about it, and we're both sorry?
Yang: . . .okay. still, sorry for thinking you were going to abandon me.
Jaune: heh, bold of you to assume i would let you go just because you got pregnant, you're way too good of a catch for me to let you go.
Yang: *chuckles*
Jaune: i wasn't planning to let you go before, and i'm not going to start now.
Yang: what do you mean?
Jaune: . . . *sighs* i was planning to wait for the day of our graduation but, oh well, screw it. *pulls away*
Yang: *confused* what are you doing?
Jaune: *goes to one of his bags, fumbling a bit but finally taking out a small black box.*
RWBY/_NP_: *gasp*
Yang: j-jaune *tearing up* is this. . .
Jaune: *getting down to one knee* Yang, when we first met i couldn't imagine what the future was holding for us, i could never imagine that a girl as beautiful as you would fall for a dork like me, but you did, and you gave me the chance to show how much i love you while you showed me how much you love me, you're the light of my life, the brightness that fills the darkness that surrounds me and the warmth that comforts me during my coldest days, my very own sunshine. *open the little box showing a golden ring with a lilac jewel on the middle*
Yang: *covering her mouth while tears stream down her cheeks*
Jaune: so yang xiao long, would you give this humble knight the pleasure and the honor of being my- *gets tackled by yang*
Yang: YES!! *kiss* YES!! *kiss* YES!! *kiss* YES!! *kiss* A MILLION TIMES YESSS!! *pulls him into a long deep kiss*
Jaune: w-well, not exactly how i imagined but i'm not complaining. *gets back into kissing yang*
Weiss: *deadpans* why am i not surprised?
Ruby: *sheepishly* because it's yang?
Weiss: . . .fair enough.
Yang: *inserts hands on his hoodie while deepening the kiss*
Blake: i think we should leave, like, before things get more intense.
Pyrrha: i think that's an great idea.
RWB_/_NP_: *walks away*
Ruby: so, do you guys wanna do anything for now?
Pyrrha: . . .i'm kinda hungry, you guys wanna eat something.
Blake: sure.
Weiss: sounds good.
Pyrrha: you're coming nora?
Nora: nah, i'll wait for renny to finish his bath.
Pyrrha: okay, join us when he ends up there, okay?
Nora: will do!
RWB_/Pyrrha: *walks away*
Ren: *coming out of the room drying his hair* i heard some screams coming from the bathroom, did i lost something?
Nora: well, yang almost destroyed her room during her breakdown cause she thought he abandoned her after finding out she was pregnant, but turns out jaune was actually just worried with her pregnancy and left to buy some stuff so he came back and they apologized to each other before jaune proposed and now they're making out so no i don't think you lost anything.
Ren: . . .right. do you wanna eat some pancakes?
Nora: sure!
*on the room*
Yang: *on the bed and on top of jaune while making out* hold on a second, if i'm pregnant and you're going to be the father, *grins* does that means i can call you daddy?
Jaune: you already called me like that before so i don't see anything special.
Yang: well, now you're going to be a really daddy, so it spices things up a bit don't you think?
Jaune: *chuckles* fair enough. . .yang?
Yang: what?
Jaune: i love you.
Yang: *smiles* i love you too daddy.
#rwby#jaune arc#yang xiao long#yang x jaune#jaune x yang#dragonslayer#ruby rose#weiss schnee#blake belladona#pyrrha nikos#nora valkyrie#lie ren
403 notes
·
View notes
Text
Imperium 2: Chapter 2
Bruma venit. (Winter is coming.)
At Nessa’s insistence, Elma led her into the barracks and sat her down on the couch as she dug around various locations for first aid supplies. Lin made herself useful in a different way: she figured Nessa would want some food, even though mimeosomes didn’t technically need to eat, and started preparing something warm. She wouldn’t explain what she was making, preferring to keep it a surprise. Elma quickly learned as she was bandaging up Nessa that Lin was making soup, something that smelled warm and cozy.
Elma worked on the deeper wounds first, particularly one on Nessa’s right shoulder. She winced whenever Elma made contact, but didn’t tell her to stop at any point. As she worked, Lin spoke over her preparations.
“So you’re Pongo’s sister...how come he never told us about you?”
Nessa chuckled, though she hissed through her teeth when Elma started wrapping the first bandage around her shoulder. “Because I didn’t exist until a short while ago. It’s so easy to lose track of time when you’re walking on foot all the way from Noctilum, so I want to say...maybe a few weeks?”
“Holy shit,” Lin breathed. Elma shot her a look when she cursed, and Lin flushed up and turned back to making her soup.
“Yeah. Believe me, I tried to flag some Skells down,” Nessa said, “But either they didn’t see me, or they flat out ignored me. If it was the latter, then that’s quite rude.”
“Either way, it sounds like you’ve been through quite a bit,” Elma finished wrapping up her shoulder and went on to cleaning the next biggest wound, a pair of scratches on her stomach. Not nearly as deep as the one on her shoulders, and if she had to harbor a guess, inflicted by some type of insidia. Once Nessa noticed where Elma was planning to work next, she rolled up her shirt for easier access. Elma paused for a moment.
“See something you like?” Nessa winked.
“W-What? No, I was just thinking...you’re a lot different than Pongo,” Elma confessed, a slight hint of blush starting to form on her cheeks and nose, “He wouldn’t have let me do this.”
“We’re both stubborn in our own ways. Hell, I wouldn’t have let you do this if you weren’t drop dead gorgeous,” Nessa grinned.
“Now that’s most certainly something Pongo wouldn’t have said,” Elma chuckled, partially from embarrassment and partially from the absurdity of the situation. She cleared her head by going back to cleaning the wound with a fresh cloth, dampened with water. “So what exactly did you mean when you only existed for a couple weeks?”
“Exactly that,” Nessa explained, “Now, you both know about Mira, right? I’m pretty sure Pongo told you at one point.”
“When Pharsis was about to break out and kill us all, and the only way to stop it was for Pongo to fall into Mount M’Gando? Yep,” Lin said bitterly. It didn’t go past Nessa and Elma undetected, but while Elma sighed, Nessa rolled her eyes.
“Yeah, that was fun. Here’s the thing. Mira created Pongo to be its avatar, right? Well, it created me for the same purpose...except, it’s also because Pongo is in some kind of trouble.”
“What kind?” Lin walked over, carrying a bowl of soup in her hands. She set it down carefully on the table next to Elma’s medical supplies before taking the couch adjacent to Nessa. “Like, the life-or-death kind from before? Or something different?”
“I...we...don’t exactly know,” Nessa admitted, “That’s kinda why Mira created me. Because whatever happened to Pongo, it kicked Mira out of his body, and Mira has no idea what happened after that. So it created me in an attempt to find him and figure out if he’s okay.”
“Mira was ejected from Pongo’s body?” Elma scowled, enveloped in her own deep thoughts, “How would that work? Do you think miranium has something to do with this disconnect, since Mira couldn’t access Pongo’s body beforehand due to a miranium shortage?”
“Normally, I’d agree with that,” She said, “But Mira does remember one thing before it lost its connection to Pongo. There were...they’re called Ganglion, right? There were a lot of them.”
“Ganglion? God,” Lin slumped in her seat, “I thought we’d be done with them after the Lifehold battle.”
“Unfortunately, many Ganglion still have strongholds positioned throughout the continents,” Elma clarified, “Our fight with them is far from over. Now, these Ganglion who found Pongo...where exactly were they? Do you - or Mira - remember?”
“Mira remembers a little,” Nessa said, “The Ganglion Pongo encountered were in Noctilum. But Mira also remembers...okay, hang on, actually, it’s thinking about it…”
Nessa trailed off, her eyes flashing white for the briefest of seconds. Elma recalled how Pongo’s eyes went white when Mira assumed control of him, back at Mount M’Gando, and could only assume that this was Mira appearing for a moment. Nessa’s eyes remained indigo, however, and recognition soon dawned upon them.
“Mira remembers a small part of where Pongo might be, right now. The Ganglion took him to Cocytios.”
Lin and Elma exchanged a look.
“Cocytios?” Lin asked first, slowly, making sure she pronounced it the same way Nessa did. “What…”
“Oh! Ah, right, I don’t think BLADE has discovered it yet,” Nessa said sheepishly, “It’s a sixth continent that’s located underneath Primordia, to the southwest. It’s only one of many places you guys haven’t found yet, though, but that’s an explanation for another day.”
“We haven’t exactly expanded our search to below Primordia’s southern borders yet, so that explains why it hasn’t shown up before now,” Elma said, “Though, why there? What do you know about the continent?”
“Cocytios is cold,” Nessa put her shirt down, realizing that Elma had finished patching her stomach wound a while ago, and that she had begun working on a section on her thigh. “Like, freezing. It’s pretty mountainous, has lots of snow, and a couple of those ancient weapons like the rings in Oblivia. Has a giant cavernous pit like Oblivia, too.”
“Ooh, it’s like Antarctica!” Lin smiled. Nessa’s visible confusion prompted her to expand slightly, “That was a continent back on Earth. It’s at the very bottom of the planet and it’s super cold there.”
“And it might be just as dangerous,” Elma cautioned, “We’ve never encountered an environment like that before, nor do we have much of an understanding as to what lives on the continent. We got lucky with the other continents being hospitable, for the most part.”
“You call Cauldros hospitable?”
“I said ‘for the most part’. Remember, Cauldros is also the continent with the most active Ganglion presence, and they’re seemingly responsible for the number of architectural developments there. Disregarding our relations with the Ganglion, those fortresses have the most protection against indigens and Cauldros’s weather phenomena. Of course, the Ganglion would never let us walk in there of our own volition…”
“But that didn’t stop us in the past!” Lin giggled, “Even if sneaking around didn’t work, those Prone were never gonna win against Team Elma!”
“Ooh, what confidence!” Nessa said, “Well, if you’re sure your mims can handle the environment, then that’s good to hear. I think I’d be more scared for those giant robot things you guys pilot sometimes.”
“Skells?!” Lin got stars in her eyes, but they just as quickly diminished when she realized what Nessa was trying to say, “Oh man, I don’t actually know if most of the Skell frames available through BLADE would be able to handle that sort of environment...most of the ones that were able to operate in space were dismantled or destroyed during our descent onto Mira, and we haven’t had any reason before now to upgrade any of the existing models aside from heat and humidity resistance so they can function in Noctilum, Oblivia and Cauldros…”
“And this mission is time-sensitive, if we’re to believe Pongo’s in serious trouble,” Elma added on, “So the chances of developing and installing those modifications onto our Skells for this is...well, I doubt we’d have the necessary amount of time required to make those modifications effective.”
“It took us a couple weeks to make the humidity modifier for Noctilum’s weather,” Lin sighed, “And even longer to create a modifier to help with the heat waves in Oblivia and Cauldros. It’d take a while to create a modifier to help against frost, weeks at best, even if we didn’t take any Skells out there for a test run. It’d go untested if we wanted to keep things quick, and ah...I don’t really recommend that.”
“BLADE has boats, right?” Nessa asked, “Please tell me this entire time you haven’t just been relying on Skells to get things done.”
“We’ve got boats,” Lin chuckled, “Sometimes with research teams there’s equipment that we just can’t trust in the hands of Skells, so we use rovers and boats to transport them, especially if they’re going to Sylvalum or Cauldros.”
“Great! Then we’ll need a boat, and some warm clothes for you both,” Nessa sat herself up straighter, placing her hands on her lap. Elma had long since finished addressing her wounds, and feeling as though she’d done a good job of patching the major injuries, was beginning to put the first aid supplies away. “I know mims can usually handle a ton of heat, thanks to your adventures in Cauldros, but...what about Elma?”
Nessa glanced towards Elma before taking the bowl of soup in her hands, fiddling with the spoon dipped into it. “I mean, at the risk of me sounding picky, you’re downright stunning in your true form. But...well, would it be a better idea to be in your old mim for this?”
Elma took a moment to think as she moved to pick up the medical supplies. Once they were off the table, Lin nudged the bowl of soup closer to Nessa, who nodded as a silent thank-you. Elma placed the medical supplies on the counter in the kitchen, not wanting to move far from the conversation. In the back of her mind she wondered where Tatsu was - he was usually here in the barracks, hovering next to Lin like an affectionately curious cat. But he was nowhere in sight. Elma resolved to ask Lin about it later. He’d probably want to come along, even if he didn’t offer much to the team besides being the constant victim of food jokes. But that wasn’t what she needed to think about, at least, not in the current moment.
“Recovering my mimeosome might be the better option,” Elma pondered openly, “And I don’t think that’s picky, Nessa. I quite prefer my original body to my mimeosome, though I can concede that the nature of the mimeosome would be better able to withstand the climate. Not that armor isn’t important, but I wouldn’t need to worry about extra layers in my mimeosome versus my true form.”
“I guess it would be a shame to see you covering up all that skin…” She sighed, and Elma’s blush returned tenfold. Perhaps it was a better that Tatsu wasn’t here, although unfortunate that Lin was. The poor girl was shaking her head. Was it disappointment? Second hand embarrassment?
“Are you implying that, despite agreeing to go in my mimeosome, which is more suitable than my current body, I should wear less clothing to a continent you’ve described as freezing cold?” Elma raised an eyebrow. Her tone was teasing, but not annoyed. How could she be annoyed when she considered this flattery?
And yet, Nessa started to blush, too, and she looked away quickly, suddenly interested in one of the bandages that Elma had applied to her shoulder. “Whatever makes you comfortable, of course! I’m not saying you should wear anything specific, just that you’d look nice in something similar to what you’re wearing now - or ah, well, you’d look great in anything, to be fair!”
“I never imagined, in all my life, that I’d meet someone with a bigger crush on Elma than Irina,” Lin chuckled, “But here we are!”
“Compliments aside, I’ll speak with the MMC about recovering my mimeosome from storage,” Elma told them both, “In the meantime, Nessa, I patched up the majority of the wounds on your body, and with a little rest and extra care, you should be good to go by tomorrow. I can lend you some of my weapons for the journey ahead, if you like, or Lin might be able to grant you weapons better suited to your fighting style.”
“When I hit, I hit hard, no matter the weapons,” Nessa smirked, “I’ll take some of your old weapons just for convenience’s sake. Plus, if they’re in the barracks already, I can take ‘em for a test spin!”
“Try not to overdo it, if you can. For now…”
Elma turned to Lin, who looked happy and bright. This would be a new adventure, a new location. Unexplored territory and possibly unidentified indigens. Despite the mission they’d agreed to take, Elma couldn’t deny that she was quite intrigued regarding Cocytios. Judging by Lin’s expression, she was excited, too.
“Lin, do you know where Tatsu is?” Elma finally asked.
“Oh, he’s hanging out with some friends he made the other day. Said he wouldn’t be back until dinnertime.”
“Something tells me he’ll want to join us.”
A sparkle brightened in Lin’s eyes, and her fingertips bounced against each other as a mischievous smirk crossed her lips.
“I sure hope he does! If he didn’t, we wouldn’t have anything to eat!”
#xenoblade x#Imperium 2: Chapter 2#this is basically a setup chapter#and it's a little messy imo but serves its purpose#ABOUT TIME I DEVELOPED COCYTIOS MORE LMAO#anyways Nessa is gay and so is Elma
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
Taste of Metal - Chapter 2: Safe Inside Familiar Walls
AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26157634/chapters/63644236
Summary:
What if the overwhelming VR experience Gordon went through, had a deeper purpose than just being a simple simulation & a freelance debug job for him?
But most importantly- what if Gordon Freeman listens to Metal & used to be in a band?
aka. the "Metalhead Gordon AU"
- - -
Gordon couldn’t sleep, as much as his body wanted him to.
The pain was one thing, but the number of unanswered questions was the overwhelming main reason he had curled up in a blanket, staring at nothing with wide eyes like a startled cat.
Tommy had not moved much after he had teleported them both into Gordon’s apartment, aside from grabbing a water bottle and some painkillers from the kitchen for the shaken scientist.
“D-Do we just wait? I don’t… I don’t know what to do a-about any of this. What even is “this”? What happened? H-How are you even REAL?”, Gordon stammered.
Tommy gave him an apologetic smile from his spot at the end of the bed.
“I just am, Mr Freeman. We all were- uhm- we all are real! I… wanted to tell you during everything. We all did! B-But the code didn’t let us.”
“But you can talk about it now! What changed it?”
Tommy appeared a chunk more nervous at this question but continued anyway-
“You.”
“M-Me??”, Gordon stuttered as he found himself in the focus of Tommy’s vibrant glowing eyes once again.
“We didn’t think someone could alter the code of the simulation like you did, Mr. Freeman... Y-You freed us.”, Tommy said with a warm smile- “I… all of us will do our best to explain everything to you once everyone is here.”
“In my apartment?”
Tommy rubbed the back of his neck nervously.
“We thought bringing you here would be the safest option for you. It’s a place you know and would feel comfortable in. I-In general but also to talk about everything that happened?”
Gordon nodded slowly.
“I… yeah, I guess that makes sense. And when you say “we”... are you sure everyone will make it out alive without our help?”
“Absolutely!”, Tommy's laugh lines deepened at the edge of his eyes- “I think they are just wrecking the place now for fun now! :)”
That left Gordon silent for a few seconds.
“Oh. W-Well… I…”, Gordon let out a short shaky laugh- “Sorry that I keep you from joining the fun... and that I can’t add support myself-”
Suddenly, Gordon found himself being held once more. Tommy hugged him gently, his chin resting on Gordon’s head.
“A-All of us want you to be safe first, Mr… … Gordon. Fun mayhem comes second! And… a-and I am rather here with you than g-getting overwhelmed with the noise… as fun as destroying a facility might be.”
Gordon chuckled, brushing away a tear he hadn’t noticed falling.
“Oh… uhm, thanks. For being here and… the foresight and all that. I don’t think we’ll be safe here in the long run though…”
The taller scientist tilted his head at that.
“Why would you leave your home behind? You don’t have to when anyone who could tell on us has other problems to deal with. Much... much bigger problems at that!”
“What… okay, you actually need to sit my ass down and explain what the fuck is happening. Because... this vague shit? Not helping with my still high-stress levels, my man.”
“Resonance cascade………....2”, was suddenly muttered too closely into Gordon’s left ear, almost making the man yeet himself off the bed-
“OH SHI-”
Gordon stared, almost frozen in place.
“B-BENREY?”
The guard (or former guard now? had he even ever been one, to begin with?) was propping himself up on the bed beside Gordon, his lower body no-clipping through it. Seeing this happen in real life turned out to be way trippier than Gordon could have ever imagined.
Yet aside from that… and the very much scary boss encounter they had had with him in the simulation, Benrey looked relaxed. Comfortable even.
“Yo, Feetm-”
Instantly, Benrey got tackled by Gordon. Aggressively, yes - but not with ill intent. Benrey let out a startled wheeze but soon stared in shock as he was tightly hugged against Gordon’s chest.
“I still have no idea how any of this is happening, but I am so fucking happy to see your annoying ass alive, holy SHIT!”, Gordon laughed, ignoring the pain in his stump as good as he could.
Tommy let out a snort as a few pink sweet voice orbs escaped Benrey.
“uhhhhhhhhhhhh… You too, man? Wasn’t sure if you’d make it on your own… decided that Tommy was the best. He always is, but… ya know. For getting you out. Smarter than all of us combined, ya know?”
Tommy waved Benrey off with a blush but smiled.
“Y-Yeah but all that matters is that everyone’s okay. Do you think the rest of the team will be here soon? I w-want us to tell Gordon what happened. He… he really needs to know. There were enough secrets in Black Mesa. :(”
Gordon slowly let go of Benrey and sat up, returning to cradling his arm. He let out a sigh.
“You can say that again. I… I don’t know how much you all know about my side of things, but the bastards never really told me the most important details on any of the projects they assigned me to. I always had to peace everything together myself… which was frustrating as all hell...”
Now it was Benrey’s turn to let out a huff as he pulled himself on top of the bed and got comfortable laying down with his hands behind his head. Gordon decided to look past the fact that the man was still in full guard get-up, including his helmet and boots. At least he looked surprisingly clean...
“Yeah, that was, uh… their whole schtick. Always has been.”, Benrey said, scratching his cheek with- … that was an entire third arm he just grew and Gordon decided to look past that even quicker than the full guard-getup.
Suddenly the door to Gordon’s bedroom opened, making Gordon jump and hold tighter onto his aching arm- until he recognized the friendly face of Darnold…and the very large golden retriever that pushed the door further open to let herself in.
Gordon’s tense shoulders relaxed a bit at the sight of both of them.
“H-Hey...”, stuttered Darnold, giving Gordon a nervous smile and wave- “I just wanted to let you guys know that Sunkist and I checked the area and the apartment. Everything’s clean.”
Sunkist let out a soft woof at the sound of her name and then opted to rest her head on the bed near Gordon. Man, she really was huge. And very much 3D now. Another thing to add to Gordon’s “oh damn I’m starting to feel real overwhelmed by this entire situation”-list.
Tommy pet Sunkist’s head gently and nodded.
“Thanks, Darnold! And that’s good! We are several miles away from the facility... but it’s better to be extra safe and see if anything is weird here!”
Darnold sat down on the floor beside Tommy.
“I’ll go check again in a few minutes… I don’t trust this supposed freedom just yet.”
Gordon opted to just nod at that. Speech was slowly failing him as his senses dulled slightly from exhaustion. He leaned back against his bed frame.
He was about to close his eyes as the sound of space being wrapped and time getting bent to his left pulled him right back into high alert-
Dr Coomer and Bubby stepped out through the portal that had formed way too close to the boxes with Gordon’s vinyl record collection, followed by G-Man who closed the portal with a wave of his hand.
“Hello, Gordon!”, Dr Coomer exclaimed, eyes bright and happy as he spotted the man currently half bundled up in his blanket- “Looks like you made it here with good Tommy’s help without... ehm… further harm.”
Bubby scanned Gordon’s form with his eyes and frowned.
“They actually did it, the bastards. Shouldn’t surprise me, but...”, he motioned at the air without aim, seemingly not being able to put his frustration into words.
Gordon just smiled softly at them, exhausted to all hell and back but so relieved and happy that the entire Science Team had made it.
He also noted that Dr Coomer’s limb enhancements were far more visible in real life than in the low-poly form he had been used to. It was interesting to see and the tech guy in him really wanted to ask the man about the intricacies of how they worked. But… later. That could wait.
Bubby on the other hand… there was something off about how Bubby looked. Gordon couldn’t quite pinpoint it, but he supposed that Bubby’s lore of having been created artificially must have carried over into his real-life form as well.
But once again, this was something for Future Gordon to ponder about.
Present Gordon wanted to know about the general “ok, what the fuck just happened???”, before diving into information that he wasn’t even sure he had the right to know about.
He noticed G-Man giving his stump a glance as well before the suited man materialized a simple wooden chair for himself and sat down on it.
Bubby and Coomer opted to join Darnold and Tommy on the floor.
With everyone finally seated, G-Man opened his briefcase and pulled a very heavy-looking folder out of it. Its casing reminded Gordon of the pattern and colour of a missing texture error.
“I am… certain you have a lot of questions, Mr Freeman.”
Gordon closed his eyes, inhaled deeply and exhaled slowly. He opened his eyes again, looking at everyone in the room over once more before nodding.
#hlvrai#metalhead gordon au#gordon freeman#hlvrai gordon#benrey#tommy coolatta#hlvrai darnold#hlvrai bubby#hlvrai coomer#hlvrai g-man#hlvrai sunkist#fanfic#fanfics#metalhead gordon#gordon is overwhelmed AS FUCK but he's trying his best
15 notes
·
View notes
Text
make my way back home [when i learn to fly]
pairing: eddie kaspbrak/richie tozier [reddie] w/ stanley uris/patty blum [stanpat], mike hanlon/bill denbrough [hanbrough] & beverly marsh/kay mccall [mcmarsh]
word count: 2,138
chapter 1 of 10
beta’d by: @treegelbmen & @photoboothreddie
summary: He stiffened for a moment, thinking it was Coach Henderson coming over to yank him to his feet, but the touch was much too gentle. “Hey, Richie. Come on.” Eddie Kaspbrak’s voice whispered in his ear, and Richie had to wonder if the fall had knocked him completely unconscious. He let Eddie pull him to his feet, and mostly just stared at the other boy as Eddie helped him gather up the loose- and now slightly damp and dirty- Chemistry notes.
⤹ class scholar richie tozier and school track and field icon eddie kaspbrak rekindle their childhood friendship loosely based off the art concept by @caliceal
read on ao3
perma taglist: @jwilliambyers, @treegelbmen @photoboothreddie, @appojoos, @s-s-georgie, @chaotickaspbrak, @eddiefuckinkaspbrak, @edstozler, @emgays, @anellope, @thorn-harvester-ven, @wheezyeds, @vipertooth, @tozierking, @billdenbrough, @itfandomprompts, @loserslibrary (let me know if you want added!)
“HEY FOUR EYES!”
Richie was breaking into a sprint before he even had a second to think about it. He took off, leaving his friends behind, without even stopping to wonder if there was a possibility that they weren’t even shouting at him. Too risky. The assholes in this school had been tormenting him his entire life, whether it be because of his glasses or his messy clothes or from the mere fact that he was so much smarter than they were, Richie wasn’t sure. He’d probably never know the truth.
Despite all the years of running away from bullies, Richie Tozier wasn’t exactly in great shape. He knew that even with a head start, he wouldn’t be able to outrun those bastards forever, so he took a sharp left and rushed out the back doors. He went up the cement stairs three at a time, praying that he didn’t fall and get a severe injury. He skipped, nearly face planting himself on the hard gravel, but let out a soft breath of relief when he didn’t.
He steadied his feet and smiled around him. before realizing, of course, that he was carrying his seventh period books in his bag, and all the necessary items for doing his homework were still inside his locker. Richie huffed out an annoyed breath. There was no way he could go back inside now and risk getting caught by Bowers and his goons, presenting himself as a perfect target. He trudged over to the bleachers and dropped his bag carefully to the cold metal before sitting beside them.
He rummaged through his backpack and pulled out his tattered copy of Dead Poet’s Society. Though not an old book by any means, it was already well loved. It had been Richie’s first real purchase, saving up the allowances of an eleven year old boy for nearly a year after seeing it in stores when it was released. As Richie had gotten older, he had begun to understand both why his father didn’t want to buy it for him, and why it called to him so deeply. Nearly four years after its purchase, it was still Richie’s favourite book and was rarely out of his possession.
The commotion on the field dragged Richie’s attention away from his book before he could open up to the page he had marked to reread. The track team was running out of formation, and even Richie could tell that Coach Henderson looked pissed. Richie hadn’t interacted much with the gym teacher since gym stopped being a mandatory class at the end of freshman year, and admittedly, he actively avoided anywhere in the school he might run into the teacher who had told him directly to his face that he was only passing Richie so he wouldn’t have to teach him again the next year.
One of the students caught Richie’s eye and Richie felt his face begin to heat up. Eddie Kaspbrak. Once upon a time, a million years ago, Eddie and Richie had been friends. Frank Kaspbrak, Eddie’s father, and Richie’s mother had grown up together and were long time friends. Mrs. Kaspbrak had never liked the Toziers, never trusted Richie’s mother around her husband, and after Frank had died, she had done everything in her power to push Richie and Eddie apart. It wasn’t hard to stop five year olds from spending time with one another, and eventually, Eddie became just another face in the crowded school hallway.
Or, at least, he should have. Somehow, despite years of distance and borderline indifference, Richie Tozier still had a bit of a soft spot for Eddie Kaspbrak. Even after little dorky Eds ditched his fanny packs and colour shorts for sports wear and gym bags, Richie maintained firm that Eddie was good. All of Richie’s friends claimed that all jocks must be terrible, and Richie had yet to have any proof that they weren’t all egomaniac assholes, but he just didn’t believe that his first best friend could be like that. It was possible for people to simply like sports and not be terrible people, right?
Richie didn’t notice his backpack tipping over until the papers started to blow through the field and towards the track team that seemed to be in the middle of getting their asses handed to them by Coach Henderson. Richie cringed and cursed under his breath, wondering for a moment if his grades could handle losing all of his AP Chemistry notes and he could get away with just taking off before the team noticed him.
“What the- TOZIER!” Coach Henderson shouted, turning his attention and rage away from the members of the team and towards Richie, who was frantically grabbing at the papers still close enough for him to reach. “You’re distracting my runners! Come get your work and get out of here! This is a closed practice, boy!”
Richie scrambled to his feet and rushed out onto the field, only to immediately slip in the grass and go crashing into the ground. He let out a small and pathetic noise that was completely involuntary and slipped out from the back of his throat, listening as the laughs of the track team immediately erupted around him. For a moment, Richie contemplated laying there until he died, but then he felt a hand rest on his shoulder.
He stiffened for a moment, thinking it was Coach Henderson coming over to yank him to his feet, but the touch was much too gentle. “Hey, Richie. Come on.” Eddie Kaspbrak’s voice whispered in his ear, and Richie had to wonder if the fall had knocked him completely unconscious. He let Eddie pull him to his feet, and mostly just stared at the other boy as Eddie helped him gather up the loose- and now slightly damp and dirty- Chemistry notes.
“I think they’re salvageable.” Eddie told him, with a soft smile. Richie blinked at him, and hoped his cheeks weren’t as red as they felt like they were.
He opened his mouth to respond, to make some sort of awkward joke or simply just thank Eddie, but Coach Henderson’s loud and annoyed voice cut him off. “KASPBRAK! Get over here or you’ll be running suicides for the rest of the week!”
Eddie shot Richie an apologetic look and jogged back over to the rest of his team. Richie stared after him for a moment, knowing he had on a dazed expression, but Coach Henderson gave another angry shout of his last name and Richie took off the field. He grabbed his bag, not bothering to try to cram his papers back inside, and rushed into the school. Surely the Bowers gang would have taken off by now. They weren’t exactly the type to loiter around after the final bell rang.
Stanley Uris, however, certainly was. He was leaning against Richie’s locker, and he looked almost as angry as Coach Henderson had just looked outside. Richie cringed and knew he was dragging his feet as he walked over. Stan’s hands came down to his hips and skewered Richie with his deepest disappointed look. “Did you forget that we’re supposed to go to the library after school today? We have to get ahead for the decathlon, Richie! It’s our last time to win! Aren’t you taking this seriously?”
“Yes, I’m taking it seriously, Staniel!” Richie snapped, tossing his bag to the ground and yanking out his Chemistry binder to begin putting his papers back into place. “I didn’t forget about the library.” He had. “Bowers and his gang chased me outside after last period. I was just waiting until I felt like it might be safe to come back into the school.”
“Oh.” Stan immediately dropped his angry stance and calmed his expression. “They messed with your notes? They’re such assholes.”
“Uh.” Richie cleared his throat, quickly shoving the rest of his notes into his bag before Stan could reach down and help him. “No actually, I just didn’t… my backpack fell while I was waiting outside and my shit flew all around the field.”
Stan made a sympathetic noise. “Bet Coach Henderson was real understanding about that.”
Richie chuckled his throat. “Yeah, not so much. But actually…” He smiled towards the ground. “Uh, Eddie helped me get my stuff up. He didn’t laugh at me.”
Stan’s hands froze in the midst of helping Richie zip up the bag. Richie slowly moved to look at Stan and frowned when he noticed the skeptical look on Stan’s face. “What?”
“I just-” Stan quickly zipped up Richie’s bag and handed it to him, pulling them both up to their feet. “I thought you were over this whole Eddie is a good guy stuff. I know you want to believe that, but we aren’t five years old anymore.”
Stanley was the first friend Richie had ever made on his own. For a short period of time, both Eddie and Stan had been a part of Richie’s close friends- along with another neighbourhood boy, Bill Denbrough, who was still around somewhere- but Stan was the only one Richie was really close with anymore. They were pretty much inseparable, and Stan had made it clear that he certainly didn’t believe their former friend was a nice guy at all.
“I know you hate him or whatever-”
“I don’t hate him. I don’t even know him.” Stan interrupted him. “But neither do you. Rich, he’s not five years old anymore. You having a sandbox crush on Kaspbrak doesn’t mean he’s a good person. I don’t want you to get hurt.”
Richie stiffened. This was the first time he and Stan had ever said anything close to acknowledgement of Richie’s sexuality. And while in all of their years of friendship, Richie had never heard Stan say anything hateful, Richie still felt fearful of saying the words out loud for fear of losing his oldest and dearest friend. He sometimes wondered if Stan knew, but it had never come up in any sort of conversation.
The two friends looked at one another sadly for a moment before Richie plastered a smile over his face. “No need to fear, Stanny my Stanny! You know by now you’re my one and only. No need to get jealous!”
Stan rolled his eyes as Richie tossed an arm around his shoulders and chuckled loudly into his ear. Stan attempted to swat him away, but Richie only held onto him tighter. “Noooooooo!!” Richie moaned dramatically. “My love rejects me! Whatever should I do? I simply cannot live after such heart break!”
Stan struggled to get free from Richie’s grip, only succeeding at knocking them both to the dirty vinyl flooring. Richie cackled, squeezing Stan tightly and continuing to enjoy his overdramatic struggles until somebody cleared their throat behind them. Richie and Stan quickly leapt apart, Stan managing to get to his feet quickly while glaring at Richie. Richie sat up onto his ass and blinked in surprise as he took in the site of Eddie Kaspbrak, standing awkwardly and looking between the two of them warily.
“Can we help you?” Stan asked him coolly.
Eddie blinked at him then frowned with a deep furrow of his brow. “Just uh… Richie left this book outside on the bleachers when he ran off. I wanted to make sure he got it.” Eddie held out the ratty copy of Dead Poet’s Society and Richie’s heart clenched in his chest. How could he not have noticed he’d left it behind?
Richie scrambled to his feet and ran to Eddie, graciously accepting the book and pressing it to his chest. “Oh my god, thank you so much!”
“No problem.” Eddie said, sounding almost bashful. “It looked worn down, so I figured you must really care about it. I didn’t want anything to happen to it and you never get it back.”
Richie thanked Eddie again, hugging the book close. Eddie looked at Richie for a moment more before giving him a small smile. “You know, uh, practice gets out in about forty minutes? I know that’s a while but if you wanted to wait, then after maybe we could-”
“Sorry.” Stan suddenly interrupted loudly, causing the boys who had both forgotten his presence to jump. Stan stalked over and stood at Richie’s side. “We have to get going actually, Eddie. We have some very important studying to do for scholastic decathlon next month. Sorry.”
“Oh.” Eddie said quietly, looking a little dejected. “Right, of course. Sorry. Another time then.”
“For sure.” Richie said lightly, but Stan was already tugging on his arm and pulling him back towards his locker to get the rest of his things. Eddie kicked at the ground for a moment before turning and jogging back outside. “That was rude.” He hissed at Stan.
Stanley rolled his eyes. “You’ll thank me later.”
#reddie#reddie fic#richie tozier#eddie kaspbrak#my writing#it fic#r + e#ttmmlmo#ttmlmo: learn to fly
134 notes
·
View notes
Text
Two Nights, One Da(y)te 🌒 Lee Jooheon | 1.5/2
🔥 Pairing : Lee Jooheon x Reader
🔥 Genre : Soulmate!AU, Angst, Fluff, Suggestive (light)
🔥 Word count : 25.3k
🔥 Synopsis : He should have been just another Tinder match you would have swiped off your life just like you swiped your thumb on your screen that night, hadn’t it been for the deep connection that bonds you to him. He is your soulmate, you are a girl he can’t help but get attracted to. You are seeking for the perfect relationship, he is trying to stay away from love. Would the few times you come across each other be enough for your opposite hearts to face the same direction?
Part 1 /\ Part 1.5 /\ Part 2
🔥 A/N : I don’t know where I should begin... I’m so relieved to finally be able to publish the sequel of this story, but I’m so sorry at the same time for being this late. My past year (I can’t believe it’s already been a year) has been hectic and busy, my studies being the most intensive and time-solliciting ever. But I’ve managed to type a few words here and there, to finally come up with this part ; and no, it isn’t the ending one like I had planned to, because I had so many things to tell that it would’ve been too long, so I had to cut it into two!
Anyway, I just wanted to thank every single one of you who’ll take the time to read this, especially if there are some of you who were still waiting... I’ve missed Tumblr and I hope you’ll like it!
Disclaimer : the few new named characters I’ve introduced are purely fictional, I’ll just let your imagination be!
*
*
*
"You're dozing off, again" a low voice finally snaked its way into his closed eardrums that had muted any possible sound buzzing around him, letting his messy thoughts rule over his focus and his awareness of where he actually was.
Jooheon snapped his head towards the left to peak at his interlocutor, being met by his bartender colleague's sad smile, Wonwoo, who shook him lightly as he had landed a friendly hand on his shoulder.
"You should take a break" he then suggested to the reddish-haired boy who looked back at him like a deer caught in the headlights.
"W-What? No, I'm fine, I'm sorry I just… Got a lot on my mind lately" Jooheon then brushed his offer off with a forced smile of his and a gentle nod to ask for his understanding and forgiveness.
"Hyung, I've been taking over your third customer because you've left the counter to take a bottle of vodka like five minutes ago yet never came back" Wonwoo chuckled, releasing the tensed muscles of the man next to him from his grasp.
"Five? No kidding? Wow shit I'm so sorry" Jooheon apologized again before sighing, his now squinted eyes meeting his own reflection in the glasses that were plastered behind the rows of bottles at the back of their bar.
The night club's neon-lights painted his face in warm colors, contrasting with how pale and expressionless it had been for weeks now. He looked miserable in spite of the fancy hairstyle he had put effort in and his attempt to feel confident by opening his shirt a little bit too much for the ladies – in vain, as his mind wasn't even here to actually catch them lurking.
"It's okay hyung, I can see you're going through hardships lately. So if you need to take a small break, go ahead, you'll pay me back later" his tall friend reassured him before turning back to their counter where a crowd of thirsty people was already asking for his services.
Jooheon's knuckles that had indeed been around the bottle of alcohol he had indeed intended to bring back to the front weren't fed with blood anymore as his clench tightened around it. He was confused as hell, hell he thought he had already been living in all this time but which seemed to have darkened and deepened with discomfort ever since he had sent that very message to you and you had had the last word.
He could almost recite your answer by heart aloud, as he had come to read and reread it, the words planting swords of doubt, regret, and want in his body. And if he had managed to push it aside most of the time by busying himself with work at the club or on some music, it only took one glimpse of your face flashing randomly through his head from time to time, for him to get blocked into a quicksand of thoughts about you, about his feelings, about his choices, and his mind would be on full stop just like it had now.
But five minutes straight… Wow, that was a record.
You [00:44 a.m.] : I'm alone at my place, so now I have nothing to distract me anymore… I shall finally muster up my courage after hours of thinking about what to actually say. I don't know if I'm mad, upset, frustrated. Maybe a mix of them three. I'm sorry if I'm bothering you with a heavy block of words but I'll just let it all out. I spent a wonderful night with you last time. And as I told you back then, I like you, and I'm sorry. I like you and I can't do anything about it, I'm almost bothered by it myself, because you kind of warned me about your issues. Maybe I was the only one feeling this way, but that night was really special to me, and that independently of the fact that you're my ideal. Special enough for me to stop thinking about what should come next, which is sooo unlike me. And I thought I had somehow convinced you to do just the same, appreciating that thing between us. Between us, yes, as in from me to you, but also from you to me, because I felt like it wasn't one-sided. I shall thank you for trying to explain yourself again and your decision, but I'm having a hard time understanding why everything that had apparently made you come to me suddenly disappeared, or why it wasn't enough again for you to let things unwrap on their own and see where we would end up. See, I told you, I'm not enough, not even for my soulmate haha ! Anyway, I'll have to respect your decision because I can't do anything about it, right?"
Everything had gone well that night. Jooheon hadn't felt the time run out through his fingers wrapped around your waist, molding perfectly against your skin as if they had been supposed to land just there. Everything had gone so well, that he had thought he would finally be able to overcome his insecurities, as the way you had freed him from his knots of thoughts and his heavy shell had definitely showcased how special you were, reason why he had made a move first the afternoon following your leave and started a conversation.
However, the time with you and the messages you had exchanged had only been a suspension of the weight crushing his heart, and not its eradication. Because soon, the ghosts of Jooheon's lack of trust in himself had come back floating around him ; he had then realized he still felt betrayed too much to finally draw his sword and fight them, and chase the light you had shone on him.
Yet, why turning away from you was continuously bugging him even after three weeks of cutting ties? He missed your daily chatting, he missed your reassuring presence, and he somehow missed your touch and your lips. With just an encounter, a night next to him, and some text messages 'til the morning light, you had lodged a bullet right at his heart and the wound was spreading your print through his whole body. And now, it was as if he had run away, but with his eyes looking back at you all the while ; with the strings pulling at his bloody organ held by your hands ; with his mind paused back in that past night with you, unable to make him sort what was supposedly waiting for him onwards.
He had made this choice with the conviction that he still needed some time alone to go ahead with his life and mostly sort it out, but right now, what was left in front of him was only a battlefield of endless question marks, blocking his vision of where he should land his next footsteps away from the crossroad where his path had met yours.
Shit, he was regretting.
"Why did you change your mind, all of a sudden?" Kihyun asked him as Jooheon had ended up taking a short break with the encouragement of his colleague, and he had joined his group of friends who were sitting down at one of the fancy tables in the club.
They had been avoiding the subject for a while now as they knew how sensitive the bartender could be ; however, as the latter showed them how uneasy he felt about his decision himself to the point it had now impeached him from working correctly, Kihyun hadn't been able to hold it in any longer.
"What do you mean" Jooheon mumbled nonchalantly as he poured himself a glass of soda from one of the bottles of soft drinks they had spared.
"You told us that everything had went well that Friday night. I hadn't seen you smile like that when receiving a text for ages. So what happened, Jooheon-ah?" the boy specified, a worried expression clear on his face as his brows were furrowed and his little eyes were shining.
"In other words : why did you pee on yourself?" Changkyun tackled his friend intently, so that he'd gain a reaction from the zombie he had been all over again as if they were back when she had left him – and maybe, as a bonus, a spontaneous answer.
Bingo.
"Would you leave me alone, please? I feel like my head's gonna explode from all the overthinking about this already, so no need to add your questions to it, thanks!" Jooheon barked back at them, gulping down a huge sip from his glass before smashing it down on the table with a trembling hand.
The beverage was refreshing, but what he needed right now, were the flames of liquor to burn his insides so that he wouldn't feel them twisting anymore.
"Hey, we're trying to help here, calm down" Hoseok, one of the players of his ex-football team, warned with a hurt frown.
"Wanna know what I think?" Minhyuk spoke up, and he got an eye-roll in return.
"Actually, not that much…?" Jooheon tiredly inquired, because he knew what was about to come out of the blonde's mouth.
"I know you like the back of my hand Jooheon-ah, and what I'm sure of, is that you simply chickened out because you like the girl. And right now, you're having a headache, because you're just admitting it to yourself yet you don't know if you do want to take the proper actions that go with it, or not. I told you, that your heart doesn't give a damn about what's settled in your head" Minhyuk ignored his answer and looked him in the eye, unphased by the angry glare the fiery-haired boy shot right at him. "And while you're at it with your overthinking, just ask yourself the right questions : Did I enjoy the time I spent with her? Yes or no. Would I like it if I see her again? Yes or no. Do I wish to talk to her? Yes or no. Did I like kissing her? Would I like it if it happens ever again? Yes or no. If everything's a yes, then let me answer for you : maybe putting an end to it wasn't the best of choices, no."
"Leave me alone with your psychanalysis" Jooheon barely replied through gritted teeth, hating how that friend of his always managed to nibble right at the sensitive spot.
"We're just seeing that you're not… As okay with your decision as you've been when you had stories with no tomorrow up 'til now. And I think it's a shame that you're letting your doubts take the best of you like that, because Y/N really is a great girl and I swear she's really into you-" Kihyun started, but he got interrupted by Jooheon standing up roughly.
"I've had enough."
"Jooheon-ah, wait" Hyunwoo, the eldest of the group, got up on his feet as well in an attempt to prevent him from leaving.
"Aren't you supposed to be the ones to understand me and cut me some slack the most? You know how fucked up my mind is, you know how hard it is for me to find a solution to that blocking, you know ALL OF THAT! I've listened to you, I've tried to let myself go, but I just can't, okay?! See in what it resulted! I hurt a nice person, and I'm going crazy because I don't know why I can't make it work out this time as well!" he burst out and once he did, his eyes grew wide as a wave of guilt crashed against his head walls.
He regretted having taken his buried frustration at them. Hyunwoo took that opportunity to grab him by the nape as the boy's head had dropped in shame, before he presented under his nose the rest of the glass he hadn't finished but with a hint of whiskey he had poured in it, a gesture of comfort Jooheon had needed instead of the lecturing and review of his love-life.
"This time it's definitely different, you like her, and maybe that's why you're even more scared. But we just think this could actually be the way out of it, your attraction to her. If only you had hung to that a little bit more… Anyway, sorry, I didn't mean to anger or hurt you" Minhyuk stepped towards his buddy, giving him a brief hug, before he left to get himself a strong drink at the bar.
If only Jooheon was brave enough to hold onto the rope you had caught him with, yes. If only the fight with his mind was that simple, yes. If only he hadn't already forfeited, yes…
*
**
***
**
*
"You're dozing off, again" Jiwoo whispered from her seat facing you, her two eyes peeking at you over the thin panel between your two desks, and you blinked rapidly to bring yourself back to reality.
That poor, lonely, empty, reality you had been breathing in for three weeks now but that was suffocating you, as all the words you wished to tell him and all the ones you regretted having said were stuffed at the back of your throat.
So that was how it was supposed to feel, having bathed in the perfect world of soulmates only to drown in loneliness then harshly dry if it ever came to an end? You felt totally, inevitably, unbearably lifeless, your soul being trapped into the wonderful moment you had spent in his company but that you had a hard time labelling as a simple "good memory" now that everything was over. It was as if his lips on yours had taken all of your willpower to remain careful when it came to love, as you felt now tenfold worse than after your past breakups.
All of your usual imagination and enthusiasm had been swept away by your emotions that got the best of you, as Jooheon had stepped on the last thing that had implicitly kept you going with your life confidently after your previous heartbreaks : hope. You had hoped to find happiness in him, you had hoped that his smiles at you, his wish for you to stay, his sweet and deep kiss in the morning, his hands lingering around your frame as you had told him you had to go, his messages popping up on your screen afterwards, were the signs that you may have found some arms to engulf you ; but he had proven you wrong with his change of mind, or maybe, to your despair, his change of heart.
Once again, the power of feelings hadn't been enough for you to keep him by your side, for him to come to you fearlessly, for the both of you to enjoy the ride and see where it would take you, blindly. And because the law was a witch that had casted an awful spell on you, you got to experience the weighing sensation of melancholy as you couldn't help but think of him.
A raindrop would make you think of him, as the shape of his mouth made it seem as if he had a small one always hanging from his lower lip. The sound of a car passing by, as it reminded you of the numerous taxis you had tried to stop before you had decided to take yourselves home by feet. The dimples of one of your colleagues, as his were the cutest you had ever seen. The scent of beer or dumplings, as it was the first – and last – late night snack you had shared with him. The orange and red lights at a stop, as the strands of his hair were tinted between those very two colors.
Anything in your daily sight of banalities managed to link itself to a memory of Lee Jooheon, and every time, it was another sigh leaving your mouth. Funnily though, it somehow helped you to understand how hard it could be for him to move on from his ex and let his heart beat for anyone but her, as for now, you felt like you couldn't give yours to anyone but him, and that until a long long time.
He was your ideal type of man, and unfortunately, he had also made your heart flutter. He matched your dreams and the reality of your feelings, and it hurt, pretty badly. The bittersweet taste of what you barely could call a relationship dried your mouth that only craved for his to grace it all over again with sweet kisses and caresses of his tongue inside of its walls.
"Stop checking your messages" Jiwoo guessed as she spotted how your eyes were lingering down on something on your desk, and you almost whined as your lips formed a pout.
"Remember what the cards told me last week? That he probably would text me…" you retorted shamelessly.
"This application is bullshit and you know it, and it told you that he might think of sending you something, not that he would actually do it in the end" your colleague countered in a sigh.
"You remember quite well for someone who's so sceptic about astrology and so on…" you chuckled and she tsk-ed at you.
"It was funny because we were drunk" she admitted with a shrug, before regaining a stern composure. "More seriously, Y/N, I'm sorry to tell you this but it's been three weeks already… I know he's your ideal, but it doesn't mean he's the absolute perfect man you need for real, y'know? Life goes on, and as you've always told me, true love always wins! I'm just sad to see you still like this!"
You addressed her a smile as you saw how hard she was trying to reason you, but the you who had been so reasonable those past months, was long gone and replaced by a desperate girl in need for a romantic-comedy-like unfolding to happen in her life. In the movies, he would actually send you the message ; he would have been thinking of you in his bed until late late night ; he would have realized that he…
That he liked you. If he ever did.
Your heavy eyelids that supported a lazy gaze fluttered tiredly as you turned your head to the window showcasing a lining of buildings warmed up by the setting sun that hadn't fought with any cloud during the day, as if it was laughing at your gloomy state.
"Yes I'll send it to you next morning" a sweet but clear voice caught your attention from the other side of the room, and your heart did a small jump as you shifted in your seat to catch a sight of Yoo Kihyun entering the open space with a phone stuck between his ear and his shoulder, and his eyes suddenly fell on you, his face then breaking into the most welcoming of smiles.
You adored him. He was a hard working senior who was straight in his shoes, never failing at his tasks, always ready to help, always giving his opinion in the subtlest of ways, always supporting your projects ; he was kind of your mentor at work, while Jiwoo was your right arm, and if usually meeting with him every day was pure happiness, now you couldn't help but get strangled by the hands of questions about Jooheon every time Kihyun would look at you or talk to you. He was the most vivid yet most embarrassing of remaining links between you and your ideal, and for three weeks you had had to bite your lip so that you wouldn't blurt your wonderings to him out of nowhere.
How was he doing? Had he talked about you? Had he forgotten about you? Were you crazy to hope and wait for anything to happen, deep down?
The after-effects of the spell were definitely chewing on the lucid part of your brain.
"Don't distance yourself from me because of Lee Jooheon" the cause of your stomach's knots to tighten at work quietly told you as you were waiting for your coffee to be spilled by the machine near the blocks of desks.
"W-What?" you stuttered, surprised by his so-on-point remark. "I-I'm not, I’m not Kihyun, what does make you say that? It's fine between us!"
The latter chuckled, his eyes disappearing as his mouth curled up, and you would've bet that he could cook some eggs on your two cheeks that were steaming from the mortification he had put you in.
"You know you can talk to me about it, if you need to… I can see that it's been running on your mind" he offered in a soothing tone, and you both went to sit on the comfortable sofas located in what was supposed to be the rest area. "But please, don't be embarrassed with me!"
"How can I not be? He's your friend before anything else, and you are the first spectator of how ridiculous I'm being nowadays… I don't want to put you into a tricky position. It was one night, and it's over" you convinced yourself before sipping on your hot energizing drink, and Kihyun landed his face in the palm of his left hand, a fond smile spreading on his traits just for you to see.
"You're not as convincing when you talk about yourself as when you're selling our projects" he joked, and you faked a kick in his legs extended before yours. "You don't have to try to look all strong in front of me Y/N, I'm actually dating my own ideal and I know how devastating it feels if they ever turn away from you."
There was a glimpse of sadness in his eyes you had never seen before as Kihyun was either smiling, either completely unreadable at work, his face expressions only shifting from concentrated traits to joyful ones when he heard good news. But sadness? Never had you ever spotted him break in front of you in the few months you had spent together, and God knew how late you had stayed together in the building to finish your work, how drunk you had both been, how tired the job could make you.
"You weren't hers, as well?" you questioned before you could think of how intrusive this could sound.
"I am, but we took a break for a few months because the emotions and sensations were… Too much for her and for me to handle. We were quite passionate from the very beginning, so much that it could have torn us apart" he explained.
You nodded understandingly, your fingernails tapping an unknown beat on the small plastic cup in your cold hands.
"Now everything's fine, but just so you know that I've been through it, dreading the ideal one, so I get how you feel" he added, insisting on the last word with his eyes looking at you intently, as if they were also bearing the weight of it.
"Well at least you stopped dreading her because you were meant to be together anyway! Jooheon and I aren't as lucky, I just hope it won't take too long for me to move on" you smiled enviously at him before coating your lips with some hot coffee to mask how quickly the corners of your mouth had fallen down.
"You know, what's funny…" Kihyun trailed, passing his hand through his thick mop of brown hair that was graciously welcoming the last rays of sun seeping through the bay windows.
He bit back a chuckle when he caught how your eyes lightened up at the suspense he had voluntarily seamed between the both of you, finding you cute, and confirming his already steady opinion : Jooheon and you would be perfect together, if only…
"What's funny, is that Jooheon is supposed to be my friend first, so I should support him and respect his choices, but this time, I'm definitely on your side" he confessed, his eyes turning into crescents as his mouth supported a warm smile once more.
"Oh yes? And why's that?" you asked him with a dubitative expression as you leaned back into the comfy chair. "Glad to learn that you and I are not friends though…"
Kihyun's phone suddenly rang, and he held the screen towards you so that you could read the name of one of your collaborators, actually being the one you were going to work with on the next event.
"They have your personal number? Woooow you're so chic" you whispered with a faked astonished expression as he stood up quickly, chuckling at your remark.
"Let's talk about it around drinks tonight, I feel like going to the bar instead of finishing what I have to do" he smiled before exiting the relaxing room in pressed strides, and you could hear him getting back to his work-tone as he seriously said "Yes sir it's me, Yoo Kihyun".
Little did you know he was literally going to replace his blood by alcohol once night had fallen, and that you would follow him with just a few drinks late.
*
**
***
**
*
You were sitting at your favorite bar, that was located only three blocks away from your workplace. All of your team could never get enough of its cozy ambiance, with the dangling little garlands and lanterns hanging from the ceiling, the numerous tropical plants placed between the row of tables, and the exotic landscapes sketches or Maya-like sculptures fixed on the wooden walls, giving the overall feeling of having found shelter in the middle of a sublime jungle.
It had started as another classical end of day, Kihyun and you enjoying some delicious appetizers and tricky cocktails that were as tasty as threatening for your sanity, all the while talking about futile things and sharing funny stories. However, sooner than you would have imagined, you weren't clinking your half-empty glass with your favorite partner when you agreed on things anymore, because it had been already ten minutes since he was ranting about life and love with a jaded expression on his sharp traits.
He wasn't even looking at you, his lost eyes fixed on a wooden stick which used to support candies he had now planted in the glass in front of him, and he turned it again and again into the rest of his drink mixed with water from the cooling ice cubes.
"You know, when you date your ideal, you almost forget how it actually feels to love at first. I swear, the sensations you get almost turn into a drug, something you can never get enough of! You immediately love the person without even knowing him or her, and you're in such a bliss, in such an awe, that you can't even distinguish what your real emotions are anymore. It took me a break with my girlfriend to look back on what I feel, what I love in her, and to miss her but because my heart felt empty, not my entire self."
He sighed loudly before taking a sip from his striped straw, and seeing how he frowned and tilted his head, you knew he had more to say, which was so unlike him. It seemed as if your own situation with Jooheon affected him as well ; as if it had opened the doors to some secret yet deep thoughts that had been bugging his mind.
"When you're in a one-sided situation like yours, I feel like there's a lot to it. I think that it's also a perfect combination in its own way, because there's the power of soulmates, facing the one of true feelings. Two paths come across and merge into one : the one of the heart, and the one of fate, this is complementary" he then explained as his digits lightly traced the two lines in the palm of his left hand, and strangely, his words seemed to have cooled down the atmosphere around you as you felt chills run down your skin all of a sudden.
"I used to agree with you and believe in love more than in the soulmate-thing, but… You can't deny that nothing can beat the perfection of the romance between two individuals that were both bond by fate. It means they're made for each other, it's beautiful" you inquired, and unlike you whose heart now felt heavy in your itchy chest, Kihyun looked like he relaxed in his chair as it was his turn to speak again.
"But what sticks two soulmates together is also love, just like any other couple. What we actually feel might be stronger, but not purer. If I didn't love my girlfriend and if she didn't love me, our short break would have resulted in a break-up, for sure. That's the part of reality in this world of dreams and expectations. I wish Jooheon would understand that…" he breathed out as his gaze finally landed on you, an exasperated expression veiling his white face.
"Oh no, don't tell me he's back at it again" a rather high-toned voice spoke from behind you and your colleague's reddening cheeks spread into a contented smile, so you turned around in your seat to be met with five familiar figures, their sight making your heart drop down to your heels.
Before you had even recovered from the tornado of emotions this situation was putting you through, the boys you couldn't help but label as "Jooheon's friends" dragged some more chairs and tables to join Kihyun and you. To each beat of your weakened heart, one thought kept on ringing in your mind : every single boy sitting next to you, in front of you, across from you, knew Lee Jooheon better than you did even though the law made you feel otherwise. But what was harder to process, was they surely were aware of the things that had happened between the both of you, making you rot in embarrassment.
"What, what, what? I'm back at what, huh? You know you all agree, Jooheon doesn't realize how lucky he is! What he trusted in is right in front of our eyes, Y/N, who aspires to believe in love more than anything! He's not her ideal for nothing, it's because they would be perfect together, am I wrong?"
You swore that the weight of awkwardness and how the atmosphere had thickened were crushing you in your wooden chair, and all you did was agitating your head from the left to the right repeatedly while shooting him a pleading look so that he would stop playing the justiciary.
"Hey, you're lucky too you punk! Sorry Y/N, he tends to turn really sentimental once he's drunk… Anyway, we're here to save you from hell" the one you remembered as being named Hoseok smiled kindly at you, however it didn't chase your wish to disappear away.
"What are you saying, you're here because I texted you to come" Kihyun snorted with a sulky face.
He hadn't asked for your advice or assent before taking this questionable initiative, but you had noted from the mischievous smile he had sported on the way earlier that he had been exceptionally excited to go out, making you wonder if he had been up to something.
And he clearly had.
"I thought it would be nice for you to hang with some new people, to clear your mind a little" he then addressed you, and every single one of you – except for him– rolled your eyes at his stupid idea.
Clear your mind? While being surrounded by six faces that only reminded you of the one that was missing? Seriously?
What a nice idea he had had, bringing another set of pieces to the puzzle picturing Jooheon in your dizzy head, bringing dozens of questions burning the tip of your tongue, bringing discomfort as you were hanging with an important part of his life when he had chased you out of it.
"I texted the sad boy too, so that he realizes what he's missing, I can't leave him alone being all dumb like that" Kihyun then proudly announced, and you darted two big round eyes at him, your heart beating faster than it had since the night you had spent with the very sad boy he was talking about, as for three weeks it had been unmoved.
"ARE YOU CRAZY?!" you shouted along with the rest of the boys, your pupils then exchanging panicked-angry-incredulous glances.
"I'm leaving" you then precipitated yourself, your suddenly trembling hands gathering your things on the table and putting them back into your leather bag.
"Yoo Kihyun seriously what's wrong with you…" the tall one, Hyungwon, pestered him with a clenched jaw as he looked at you who were ready to stand all at once.
"He will be here in less than a minute, just stay and trust me Y/N, please" Kihyun begged and it triggered you.
"Why would you do that? It's just embarrassing for the both of us! I am respecting his decision, and so should you! Thank you for worrying about me, but don't interfere anymore, please!" your tone would have gotten close to the one of yelling, hadn't it been for your voice cracking as it was the prey of your fear to meet Jooheon's eyes again, to read discomfort and resent in them instead of the memory of their tenderness you cherished.
Just as you were about to finally get up, having put your fluffy puffer coat on as well as your beanie to confront the icy weather, the peal of small bells signaling the opening of the main door resounded over the music and the boys' voices telling you how sorry they were ; and you knew. You knew it was him who had just entered, because your body automatically reacted the second you dared to throw a look over your shoulder quickly, your eyes only perceiving a reddish mop of hair and a bright yellow padded jacket. Your hand was scorching and shining around the handle of your bag, and you cursed under your breath at the pain and at Kihyun who bit back a smile of victory.
He really could become sly and clueless at the same time once he was drunk, how come you had forgotten about that?
"Y/N, wait-" the latter tried to hold you back as you pushed your chair that screeched against the ground, but you walked past the table, your hurried strides supported by your trembling legs taking you towards some other exit at the opposite side of the room.
Your heavy heart had turned light, floating under your chest as a feather would do in some spring breeze, however the two drinks you had consumed and the trap your friend had pushed you right in made you overall feel sick, your stomach burning. Some fresh air was even more welcomed, yet you hadn't even taken that much steps when the most pleasant voice you would ever hear infiltered your buzzing eardrums :
"Y/N" Jooheon called you out calmly, and your feet immediately stumbled as you came to a full stop.
Shit.
You didn't want to look at him, you didn't want to see his face again, you didn't want to feel yourself sucked into the hole of sweltering feelings for him once more now that you had told yourself that your dreams wouldn't come true ; however you did, slowly turning on your heels, and you inevitably got consumed by the flames of whatever his presence did to you.
He looked utterly handsome even though he was doing nothing, just standing there and breathing. His hair was down, falling messily on his forehead, with a few strands kissing his eyelids ; still, it didn't occult the power his pupils could hold. His sharp eyes never failed to get the best of you, absorbing your willpower to leave and pinning your two feet to the ground, as contrary to what you had dreaded, there wasn't anything near embarrassment shining in them. They were simply gazing at you, two black orbs full of stars hooked on his sculpted-like face, and they didn't quaver when they met your unsure, humid ones.
"Let's talk outside for a minute" he invited out of the blue, and you blinked obliviously but your head nodded independently of your command.
You then waited for him to move closer behind you before exiting the bar, without saying a word, your throat strained and your mouth itching with the desire of kissing him right here, right now. Once you had landed a few steps outside, it took you a lot of courage to turn around again and face the cause of your happiness and sorrow, the sweet-and-sour mixture twisting your stomach where butterflies still were doing their usual job of messing with you.
"Hi" you tried with a small smile, shoving your hands inside your pockets so that you wouldn't lose your fingers.
Jooheon wished the fog that came out of his mouth as he breathed out had conveyed all of his messy thoughts to you, so that you could feel how torn you had left him for three weeks, so that you would help him sort things out, so that you would absorb them just like you had that Friday night, as he didn't even know what he was supposed to say to you right now ; he had just wished to see your face, selfishly, even if it was only for a short and bittersweet moment.
"How have you been doing?" he then asked randomly, the words falling from his plump lips he then bit in regret.
Your world was spinning twice faster now that it was revolving around Jooheon as its center of gravity again ; you could only see and hear him, your senses all gathered to focus on his person. Nevertheless, if three weeks ago the enchantment casted upon you had made you feel happy, this time, your encounter was crackling further your heart he had closed his doors to.
"Fine, and you?" you lied, so bad, yet you didn't want him to feel worse than you knew he already was, as even if you were distraught because you had failed in a relationship once more, you couldn't ignore the fact that Jooheon was suffering from his disappointment more than anything.
Your heart understood him through its aching, reason why your voice's tone had been sweet despite you, warming Jooheon's own bloody organ in the matter of a millisecond, warmth that spread inside his limbs and made him insensitive to the actual freezing weather. Some snowflakes had started to fall and were finding home in the free strands of your hair, and his burning left hand was weirdly craving to caress the white gown they were creating over your head until it'd disappear.
"Pretty fine too" his low voice vibrated through his chest, and another cloud of steam formed between your two faces, giving you the time to collect your expression so that he wouldn't notice how flustered you were.
"Anything you wished to tell me? Or else I'll get going I have a bus to catch in… 10 minutes" you insinuated that he had called you out for something precisely, and when his eyes fell down to the snowy pavement, you crumpled the insides of your pockets as the longer he was standing in front of you, the harder it was to fight the urge to assault him with questions and… Kisses?
The silence was weighty, and when Jooheon's pupils leveled up to yours once again, he noticed the thin line of water that was forming at the crease of your eyelids, killing him on the spot. Just like her, the sight of him was making you sad and uneasy, and he hated himself for that. Still what he despised more, was that he was putting you through the same thing that had eaten him alive the past months. He wished you had never met him and had simply fallen in love with some random guy, not being helplessly attracted to him because of a stupid law.
"I wanted to apologize on behalf of my friends, I can see you were quite embarrassed… They truly can be dumbasses sometimes, so sorry" he found the excuse on the spot, his improvisation impressing himself.
"Oh it's okay, they already apologized. It was Kihyun, he thought he was… Doing something good, I guess? He just doesn't get our situation" you brushed off as your brows had furrowed due to his surprising revelation.
"And I guess I wanted to check if you were okay" he suddenly admitted in a low yet steady tone that shook you to the core.
"Well you must know how it is, you've been through it" you sounded harsher than wanted, however, you couldn't blame your inner self for getting more and more sensitive while facing him.
You were right. Jooheon was more of a punition to you than anything else ; he knew it because he had lived in this empty feeling up 'til now. But couldn't he try to make you feel any better?
"Look, I'll take that as an opportunity to tell you face to face that I truly am sorry for what I did to you so… Yeah I'm sorry Y/N. I really wish you'll find someone good for you, you deserve it-"
"Jooheon, I told you I got you" you cut him, and the whisper of his name coming out of your freezing lips tranquilized its owner instantly. "Don't misunderstand what Kihyun just planned, I wasn't aware that you were coming either. I'm sorry but… Hearing you apologize and inducing that everything's over another time… Makes it kind of weird, I'm embarrassed right now."
You had become upset, as you had felt some kind of disappointment fall over you all of a sudden. Upset for having expected something to change with the time passing by ; for having felt the spark of excitement replacing your anger towards your colleague as soon as Jooheon had called your name ; for receiving his words like a good slap all over again when you had been supposed to let go and accept the reality of rejection three weeks ago already. Why did you keep on hoping?
You could already hear Jiwoo's voice scolding you with an "I told you!".
"Oh- I'm-"
"Don't" you smiled sadly. "Remember when she said sorry to you, did it make you feel any better?"
Jooheon's face contorted in displeasure and regret, and he passed a tensed left hand through his fluid hair, the locks enlightened by his shimmering red scar caressing them, and he cursed himself with thousands of insults inside his head. What had he been thinking?
"Someone told me that if your ideal leaves you, it means that you're not good for anyone else. So hearing you wishing me to find someone else… Kind of reminds me of this" you chuckled while looking away.
"Shit Y/N I'm so sor-… I didn't mean it that way, I just thought that apologizing to you face to face rather than behind a screen was at least more appropriate, because I know how it is to go through this so I was hoping to… Shit I don't know anymore" his words fell precipitately out of his mouth, and another wave of threatening tears accrued at the corner of your eyes.
"You don't have to feel guilty, okay? You should try to make yourself more comfortable with your choice, or else… Or else I'm gonna think that something's going on when there's not" you pursued with the same nervous laugh, your eyes dropping to your shoes as you nibbled at your lower lip. "So please… Don't worry, and don't be too harsh on yourself."
It had been as if you had read his inner emotions like they were scribbled on his face, finding what he couldn't point out in his mind then formulate, and soothing him with words to counter those insecurities. You never failed to find the right buttons to push at, and to his despair, you skimmed the one of his doubts, making his heart throb at the idea of taking risks that flashed through his mind.
"How come you're worrying about me when I'm the one who hurt you" he wondered aloud, before gasping as he heard his own voice that had betrayed him.
Because you cared for him. Because you could feel his pain now that he was near, your heart constricted under your ribcage the more you could read the guilt in his eyes that were begging for any sign of your forgiveness. Because apparently, the law left you no choice but to empathize with him no matter what he did, even if it included leaving you behind.
"I guess you know the answer since you experienced it too" you simply managed to answer before you would break into a sob. "I'll get going."
Something felt off in the way your exchange ended, Jooheon was even less at ease to part ways. He had apologized, to ensure that you would hear the sincerity of his excuses and to see you accept them ; but didn't it look like he had been looking for his inner peace rather than yours?
He could recognize himself in your reaction, as it had been the one he had adopted back when she had repeated the word "sorry" to him. However, he had been unable to hear the authenticity in her excuses as, just like you, all that remained was that you and him were being left behind no matter how guilty the one who was bidding goodbye felt.
But Jooheon didn't want you to experiment that loneliness, nor wanted the bright you to ostracize itself from everyday pleasures that would have brought a smile on your face before him ; so as your eyes were turning away from him as well as your figure, he spoke up :
"Why don't you stay?"
You faced him again and the unquavering look he conveyed to you made your heart jump up to your throat, yet ready to drop down at any second.
"What?"
"I said… Why don't you stay?" he reiterated, then gulped down his anticipation that had burned his rushed tongue.
You batted your eyelashes involuntarily as the incredulity galloped its way through your brain once you had processed his words.
"W-Why would I? Why would you want me to?"
"Because the guys are funny and nice, and because I liked it when we hanged together, it was cool" he simply stated, his brows going up on his forehead as he showcased a shrug.
"Is this a way for you to tell me we should be friends…?" you then asked ; however you weren't sure of how you would react if he ever came to say "yes".
"It is my way to tell you you shouldn't leave because of my stupid ass when you could spend a good evening with some dorks to make you laugh" he retorted.
His eyes were shining with expectation and maybe mischief, a cocktail that sparked some excitement in you and tickled your limbs to the point you almost returned him a warm smile as you could see how bad he was trying to make up for what he did – or thought he did – to you.
"At least you acknowledge the fact that you're stupid" you managed to joke, earning a shy chuckle from him. "Thanks but no, actually I'm pretty tired and I'm glad I escaped this situation with Kihyun because I would have had a short night, when tomorrow we need to finish some project…"
Jooheon's hand caressed his nape slowly as he nodded in understanding, and this time he was the one feeling the ache of disappointment when he probably shouldn't. Indeed, it was easier to let go behind a mobile phone's screen ; but now that this wall of fake-confidence wasn't there to help playing the cool ones, Jooheon felt like you could see how torn he was when you were supposed to believe that he was okay with his own decision.
"Alright…" his words trailed as well as his gaze on you, to the point you shivered as if you had been naked under the snow falling above your two dizzy heads.
You had found the courage to turn away a second time, when a last thought popped up in your mind, thought your tongue felt obliged to convey to him who had remained in his spot, watching you take a few steps away on the pavement.
"Oh and Jooheon" you spoke up with a small smile over your shoulder. "Just start practicing football again already. I saw you at the futsal on Kihyun's Instagram stories two days ago and you looked… Really happy. I think… That's actually the first step you need to take, y'know, to feel better with yourself, then maybe with life in general?"
These had been the only images and news you had had of him during the past three weeks, and you just had remembered how he had glowed with serenity and simple joy as he had been filmed kicking the ball with his friends. This was the Jooheon you wished for him to be, this was the bright version of him you thought deserved to be on full-time display, this was the self-love you wished he could give himself when you couldn't do it for him anymore.
"Thanks Y/N you're… Literally a good person like it's crazy."
But not good enough, once again, you thought.
"Comforting the guy who did you wrong and so on…" he breathed out.
You cared for him, so much that you hadn't been able to leave him on that awkward note, so much that your quavering heart felt at ease to see his lips draw a shy smile as he seemingly had been touched by your kind advice.
"Bye, then" you almost whispered to end up this conversation that could turn up to something too emotional in no time.
Another goodbye, less sour yet not that sweet as you both parted ways not as lovers, neither as friends, just as two hurt people who couldn't speak their hearts and minds up but only feel how confused they were. And if you were entangled invisibly to each other by the red string of fate, you still had to separate ways another time, and you finally turned your back on him. It was as if you were walking against the current, your whole soul pulled back to him who was looking at that beautiful silhouette he should let go of without regrets, his umpteenth sigh still not conveying his doubts to you.
*
**
***
**
*
Kihyun was looking at you from the corner of his half-closed eyes, and you were hesitating between smashing his head or simply laugh at his evidently dull state.
"I-I'm sorry…" he finally blurted out in a hushed voice, and the chuckle that had lurked deep inside your throat escaped despite you.
"About what? Your conspiracy that got me cornered and facing your friend in an embarrassing way, or the fact that you're a zombie on the day when you're supposed to be helping our team by being productive?"
You were waiting with your back against the wall in front of the meeting room, your files safely guarded under your crossed arms that covered your chest trembling due to stress. Your mind had to be at its best condition all day long so that at the end of this brainstorming, your Project manager would be satisfied and no more worried about one of the next huge events you had been offered to organize.
"I guess both, I messed up pretty badly…" Kihyun regretted as he pinched his nose bridge and you couldn't prevent your eyes from rolling up before they dropped on his pale figure.
"Oh yes you did, you moron" you sighed. "I hope your performing brain will help us as usual, or else if I die by the hands of the manager, you're dying with me."
Your team partner laughed tiredly before nodding, his briefcase held tight in his hand that was shivering as well, because of the little night he had spent and the anticipation getting on his nerves. While New Year's Eve was right around the corner, your team had already been picturing itself in the next decade. You had been assigned to draft an event destined to celebrate the merge of two small but successful companies – a Korean and a Chinese one. They had contacted you so you'd make them dream in the early spring of 2020, and the burden was real as the more time passed by, the more you were building a reputation, and the less you could allow yourselves to do any mistake.
The few instructions you had been given were that the clients were seeking for something fancy enough, and that they wished to invite all their employees so that they could get to know each other and learn to work together on good terms for the future. And those exact good terms, mainly depended on the successful night you would offer them as well as the few sponsors and investors who had been put on the guest list, so that they would never be able to forget about it but mostly be convinced to stick to a firm that treated them well.
Thankfully for you – and hungover Kihyun –, the meeting went well as you had been more prepared than you thought you would be in the midst of the confusion that plagued over your brain. So prepared, that the third idea you had come up with of renting a boat earned the votes and the trust of your Project Manager who complimented you on this plan you had worked hard on ever since the end of the National Federation of Football's party.
You finally looked back on how you had devoted yourself to work in order to forget about your heartache, and thanked your determined spirit as it had definitely paid off. This event truly had been your loophole to escape, only for a few hours within a day though, from your sickening thoughts about your love life.
"Oh right, about the staff we will need on the boat, I heard from the Korean firm that they have special recommendations they want to discuss with us about before we actually call our partners" Himchan informed you. "There are some people they worked with for previous events and who they trust so they'd like to have them on that night as well.
*
**
***
**
*
Three months-and-a-bit later.
You should have taken a closer look at the pile of folders containing the-said wanted workers your project manager had then handed to you that morning instead of leaving it on your desk to welcome some dust, because you would have been less appalled on the D-Day, as you were about to face your big clients.
Kihyun, Jiwoo and you quietly sat in the largest and fanciest of rooms in your building, organizing your ideas and files before the grand meeting. Like every single time even if you should have gotten used to it, your heart was ravaging your ribcage with great kicks of its own, and you felt hot as if you were in August under the sun of Madrid, and not in mid-March. Finally, the main door opened and Himchan entered with a reassuring smile pulling his traits, shortly followed by the two communication managers of the companies as well as their respective secretaries, a young woman and man.
You had exchanged a lot of e-mails and phone calls with the assistants during the past weeks, so you could say that you were pretty excited to finally get to talk to them without the barrier of a digital screen. The girl had been full of energy and had always asked if you needed help, reminding you of yourself in a way, while the male secretary had been quite formal but you had perceived a real kindness between the lines.
Yet, as soon as your eyes met the ones of the latter who translated the Chinese greeting of his chief for your knowledge, your left palm was set on fire, with the famous pleasuring pain that itched your skin and illuminated your… Heart-line.
You gave him a shy smile as you guessed he felt it too, the situation quite embarrassing when you were meeting at your workplace with all the eyes to see and a huge deal to conclude, however you observed with excitement the quick changing of expression on his face, his pupils suddenly darkening and pinning you to your chair, his lips parting slightly before he bit the lower one for a short moment, and his cheeks and ears reddening in no time.
Don't tell me…
He finally greeted you with a polite bow before taking place in the seat exactly facing yours, and you could read in his rushed attitude that he was flustered. While your team manager was delivering his speech, the guy started translating in real-time, mumbling the words while bending closely to his boss, who nodded and smiled as he progressively understood he was welcomed and thanked for having put his trust in your company.
You used his busy state as an opportunity to have a longer look at the figure of a new compatible man with you, and you could say you were quite flattered as the first word that came to mind to describe him was-
"Handsome. He's freaking handsome. You've been mailing this handsome guy, wow, your luck is real Y/N" Jiwoo whispered to your attention, quietly enough so you'd be the only one to hear that cringy remark and you nodded absent-mindedly, a smirk making its way to the corners of your mouth.
That handsome man was compatible with you, how lucky you were, indeed. He had chestnut blonde hair, slicked back and parted neatly with probably some wax, and his facial features were dangerously close to perfect. An angular nose, almond shaped eyes, thick and straight eyebrows, a peachy appealing mouth which covered an aligned dentition he finally showcased as he beamed at you once he had worded his name :
"Good morning, my name is Qian Jie, nice to meet you all."
"And I'm Jeon Jiwoo" your colleague pressed while passing a hand in her hair, and you had to sew your lips so that you wouldn't cackle before her childish behavior.
"I'm Y/L/N Y/N, nice to finally meet you too."
His eyes fell on your face once again and you were sure this time he was blushing, either because his grey turtleneck under his dark anthracite costume was too hot now that he wasn't braving the wind outside ; either because, just like you a month ago, he was staring at…
His ideal.
It was your turn to blush at this absurd idea and you shook your head from the left to the right to reason yourself ; the world was little, but this just couldn't be.
"I'm Jang Sora, I'm glad to meet you all as well, and to see you again, Kihyun" a feminine voice resounded in your ears and you finally paid attention to the woman secretary who was smiling at you then at your colleague who suddenly looked flustered.
"I'd never imagined we'd meet again under these circumstances" Kihyun nodded.
"You two know each other?" your manager asked enthusiastically.
The dark-haired girl chuckled, eyes with a single eyelid shining as if they had taken a ray of sun outside to illuminate them in a light brown, then she spoke up again :
"Yes, we happened to hang together a while ago, friends of friends!"
Kihyun was hanging his head low, and you could decipher how he forced a smile as he obviously was swimming under a sea of discomfort. Who was she to put the unwavering Yoo Kihyun in such a state? She definitely looked charismatic, young but surely experimented, just like what she had showed you through mails and voice calls as she started leading the discussion by relaying accurate and precise questions while her chief only came in to speak in the name of his own boss : what he liked, disliked, wanted, feared. They embodied a powerful business duet that got you talking to them with precautions and staying on your toes to be sure you were convincing enough and show them you hadn't been idle all this time.
On the other hand, your compatible match was still translating everything, would it be what you said or what his manager said, but what disturbed you more than his handsomeness and your burning hand was the fact that he kept on kissing your silhouette with his eyes. The few times you dared to support his gaze, you came across an unreadable expression, between warm and intense, something that gave you the chills as you were thrilled to be the one receiving such attention in a long time.
"About the workers, we sent you their profiles, did you receive them?" Sora asked while combing her bangs with a quick hand move, and you took the pile in your hands with a smile.
"They're right here, but we haven't contacted them yet as we wanted to confirm the place with you above all! Is there any priority between them, so that we know who to call first?" you looked her in the eyes and she nodded vigorously, accepting the files you slid on the table to her side.
"Let's see… Yes, there's those three, and… this one. They've worked with us for a few events and were well appreciated, we would like it if they were to be here again. They knew our directors' preferences in each area so they might be useful to you and the other staff you'd hire!"
Out of seven recommendations, she pushed four of them back to you fully opened, and when your eyes caught the sight of a familiar ID photography as if it was the only thing filling the white page resuming the professional experience, you almost gasped.
Lee Jooheon.
With a solemn face and short black hair, the boy of your dreams was watching you from his laid-down position, his sharp eyes, as diminished as they were in the small picture, still catching your breath and provoking exhilarating sensations in your body. The attention of your teammates diverted towards you as quickly as a finger snap, and you did your best to bottle your flustered state deep down in your twisted stomach as you had to remain professional and not let your personal matters mingle with your work ones. You couldn't object even if you wanted to ; but it burned your tongue and made your ears ring as the same thought kept banging in your head : Why? How? Why? How? WHY?
Somehow, you heard Kihyun shifting in his chair before the opened file of your ideal disappeared in his hands, and when you leveled up your pupils, you could read in the look Sora was giving your colleague that she particularly cared for this candidate.
"I'll contact this one" he informed as he lowered the papers for his eyes to shoot question marks at his interlocutor, who nodded in consideration.
_______
You knew the world was small, as in this very room, had been sitting a man compatible with you when he should have been just a business partner.
However, you didn't know yours would keep on spinning around Lee Jooheon for so long after that last encounter at the bar three months ago, or else you would have prepared yourself for this kind of coincidence to happen anytime. Or else, this situation wouldn't have felt as if Sora had taken a knife and rammed it over your wound all over again. Or else, you wouldn't have been that devastated right after the end of the meeting, completely forgetting about Jie as you were pacing round and round in the rest area, for Kihyun to watch.
Because while everyone in the room had been sharing his or her advice until they were satisfied with the terms of the negotiations, your mind had been half occupied by the task of making the link the between the care in Sora's eyes, the discomfort between her and your colleague, and the re-apparition of your soulmate. And the conclusion you had come to find was…
"That's her, right?" you barked at Kihyun who jolted in surprise at your little burst out. "That's his ex!"
"Lower your voice, they're still here!" he warned you. "And yes, she is" he then shrugged.
"You saw her name in the contracts, right? Why didn't you tell me?! This is so embarrassing!" you ruffled your hair and threw an accusing look at him.
How come the law, or maybe life in general, were so determined to mess up with you? Did they wish to see the vise tighten itself around you to the point it would feel like you definitely couldn't escape from this? Were you between the hands of a sadist pulling at the strings that would ridicule you the most?
"So what if she's his ex? What does it change? You would have refused to take part in the project? We are working here!" your colleague and friend answered, his tone inducing that he was a bit annoyed.
Yet, he marked a point and you grumbled in defeat, his face now showing he was completely unphased by your anger – angering you even more.
"This is so embarrassing Kihyun, I don't know where to hide myself right now" you then moaned while rubbing your blushing face with your panicked hands.
"Because you don't have to hide! I repeat : what if she's his ex?" Kihyun emphasized, less and less sure that he could follow your train of thoughts.
"What are you going to do with him?" you ignored his question because, well, you didn't have an answer to it.
The sigh that left his thin lips was so displeasing to hear.
"I'm gonna call him and propose him the offer, just like I am supposed to do" he explained in a calm tone, hoping it would help you to calm down too.
Your eyes came across his and even more than his sigh, his stern expression wasn't to your liking, at all. First his trap at the bar, now this secret information that could have helped you digest the whole thing better ; he might be the one wanting you to have a heart attack, in the end.
Your new year's resolution had been to move on from Lee Jooheon and to stop considering love as a priority for a while, and you had been doing quite fine up 'til now. Why? Because you hadn't seen his face ever since that night on the sidewalk, or more exactly, you had avoided it or anything that could remind you of him like some kind of bacteria. Posts of Kihyun on social medias? Muted, as well as his voice when he made the mistake to pronounce his name – one killing stare and that was it. The club he worked at? Banned from your options to have a funny night. The TV corner talking about football and his great return? You knew exactly its time slot depending on the day now. And positive thoughts? Always welcomed, as well as the flirting with some guys on dating apps or at your friends' parties. He had been doing well without you in the meantime, retrieving his old life, so why shouldn't you?
"Stop looking at me like that" you hissed through gritted teeth, wishing to smack Kihyun's confident expression out of his face.
"Like what? Like I'm hearing some bullshit coming out of your mouth? Sorry but that's actually the case so I can't help it" he then smiled cockily, and strangely enough, your cheeks tickled as he made you want to laugh at yourself as well.
You knew you were overreacting, but you couldn't help it. Why did it suddenly feel like the carefree attitude you had adopted was as fragile as a house of cards, ready to get whisked away by what you only saw as a storm coming right at you?
If every single effort you had put in forgetting about Lee Jooheon had paid off, then why were you panicking? The thought that maybe you had been more of an impostor than you'd like to admit was turning your blood cold.
"You're going to hide it from him too? And the fact that she actually recommended him?" you asked your partner while regaining your composure.
"So that's what's actually bugging you, I see…" Kihyun nodded, the smirk still present on his pale face.
"Of course it is!" your lingering care for him spoke for itself. "It means she's still interested in him, and if they meet again… If they meet again…"
You didn't want to imagine it. As much as you certainly didn't wish to see him at all, you needed even less to witness him shattering in front of his ex when she had already turned him into a mess. Or worse, to watch their romance bloom all over again if you ever had read her eyes rightly, and to feel uncomfortable, if not hurt.
"I don't want to see it, no thanks." you told yourself aloud, and to your surprise, Kihyun got what you meant with only those few words.
"You won't see it. You know why? Because the man she works for, the manager we saw earlier, is her ideal, and they're actually dating, she left Jooheon for this guy. She just has affection and surely pity for him. I'm sure she wants to see him again just to be sure he's doing fine because she cares about him in a way."
"Then did you think of him? Did you think of how hurt he'd be to see them together?" you pointed out his negligence that seemed to keep on revealing itself ever since his questionable choice back at the bar.
Kihyun chuckled at your worries and crossed his arms, looking at you tenderly this time.
"You sound pretty concerned for someone who's proclaimed herself as, I quote, "careless about boys" just a few days ago for the umpteenth time..."
"I-I'm just empathic, unlike you it seems" you scoffed with a shrug.
"I am always thinking of my brothers first. And what I am thinking nowadays about him, is that you resolve trauma by trauma. Trust me, Y/N, I was wrong at the bar last time, but right now, I know what I'm doing."
Every single pore of his skin, every single inch of his posture were screaming that he actually did know what he was doing, his confidence emanating from him like a glowing and powerful aura, so much that it chased the cloud of panic you had been struggling in away.
"You always have the last word, huh?" you sighed before it faded into a smile.
"That's why we always conclude contracts, I'm the best at convincing. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a phone call to make…" he crooned as he walked away with Jooheon's number and nickname displaying on his phone's screen, and you caressed your flushed cheeks before sighing again, the anticipation pressuring your lungs.
Suddenly – but not so surprisingly…– you wished to meet him again. Your shell had indeed been made of glass, as your inner voice was already whining that you wanted him to be there on that night. And bitterly, you realized that you had moved on, yes, but not far enough ; you had let go, yes, but not of everything.
You felt so upset to see that you had definitely been convincing yourself half-heartedly. But well, that colleague and supposedly friend of yours was definitely not helping.
"Y/N, you forgot your stuff in the room" Himchan informed you as he walked past the rest area, followed by the very ex and her actual boyfriend you bowed to.
You sprinted towards the meeting room, hoping it would be empty so that you could groan loudly once and for all to evacuate the weight of distress crashing your ribcage. She was so pretty, so well-mannered, so determined, so professional, so feminine, that it made you feel like a naked worm who just deserved to be left alone in the dirt, and nowhere near the blooming flower she was. You were no competition for her, and she was the perfection Jooheon deserved according to the law ; how come you had expected anything?
Some unwelcomed tears came to play with your eyelids, as if your body was laughing at you by trying to make you properly pitiful. Three months had gone by, but your stomach still twisted at the sight of his picture? REALLY?
"Excuse me, Miss Y/L/N?" a voice as soft as velvet smoothed your eardrums that had been buzzing for the last two minutes, and you looked back to thank with your eyes the one who had prevented you from becoming deaf and suffering from a harsh headache.
And that very person happened to be the one whose way of ending your sentences and picturing your ideas as if you had drawn them yourself in his mind had petrified you in the same meeting room earlier, and now just his gaze did in the corridor as he smiled broadly before approaching your shaken figure.
Jie truly was handsome and beyond chic, making him intimidating but not in a negative way, just one that made you respect and admire him without even knowing him inside-out. He could be compared to the handsome main character in a manga before whom the girl – and the reader as well – was losing the strength in her limbs.
"I wished to ask you earlier but you disappeared quite quickly… Would you like to meet tomorrow night for a team gathering, with your colleagues? We've been working together for a while now but we haven't been able to talk properly without a working context, I thought it would be nice for our teams to get to know each other in a friendly manner" he offered, to your great surprise.
The idea was not so bad, and you knew that when it came to going out for a drink, your teammates were always the first ones to respond positively.
"Oh yes, that's a great initiative! Thanks for proposing!" you smiled, and realized that you felt more at ease ever since he was facing you, as if the air around you was fresh and clean, not thick and overpowering.
He seemed to relax as he heard your answer, then he took in a sharp breath before asking :
"Then… Can I have your personal number? I only have the one from your office… So that I can tell you the time and address?"
Bold move. Had he been anyone else, you would have not seen anything else than a professional and nice proposition ; however, something in your guts was telling you there was more to it. From the way his eyes were always so dark and sparkly when they crossed your stare, from the way he smiled confidently but his cheeks were flushed, from the way he had dared to stand so close to you… You could recognize your own flirty behavior from the night at the club when you had met Jooheon, and as scared as you were to admit it, you were 97% sure that you were his ideal one.
The question was : was it fate that you had crossed paths? And if yes, should you give it a try? This man had no choice but to like you and wish to stay by your side, or at least the chances were slimmer for him to leave like every man before him had, however… However, why did you feel like you were cheating on Jooheon as you grasped his phone between your shy fingers to type your number, when the guy was supposed to be nothing but a souvenir you should free yourself of?
Jie happily took the device back and shoved it into his blazer's pocket, and after one last long glance at your traits, he left to look for his boss. Unbeknownst to you who had still read the other signs, his heart was pounding under his chest and his head was busy thinking of you until the next day when you were about to meet again.
*
**
***
**
*
Qian Jie [11:15 a.m.] : Hello Y/N, this is Jie. I hope you had a great morning. I'm texting you to send the address and time as agreed. Here is the map with the location. Let's say we should meet at 8.30 p.m., is that okay with you? 😊
You were the last one to show up at the fancy dining bar, which was already full of university students, co-workers, friends on a hangout or even loners, all sitting around barbecue plates grilling fresh meat and vegetables. The scent of alcohol and food stimulated your buds and your mouth watered as you wandered between the tables, looking for familiar faces.
And the familiar face you finally spotted was the one of a blonde man smiling while grilling some piece of what you guessed was beef, and as if he had sensed you coming, Jie immediately leveled up his eyes to meet yours. Your left hand heated up in no time, but less than your cheeks as you could clearly read in his stare that he was finding you… Pretty. His pupils scanned your silhouette quickly from head to toes, before he came right back at your face and his cheekbones reddened a bit as he finally gave you the biggest of smiles.
He pressed himself to move his things that had been displayed on the seat next to him, and he then silently motioned you to come and take the place he had just arranged. Had he done it on purpose? Probably. Did you find it cute? Maybe. Noticing his agitated and excited state, everyone at the table finally turned around or stopped looking at their phones to acknowledge you, and your colleagues all exclaimed :
"Y/N! Finally!"
"What took you so long?" Jiwoo, who was sitting at the far end of the table – and consequently at the opposite of the seat you were supposed to take at Jie's side – asked you with a sly smile, as during the day, you had finally confessed to her who you thought that handsome man was to you, or more accurately, who you were to him.
You had been quite embarrassed to tell her as you knew she had found him pretty attractive, but Jiwoo never ceased to surprise you with her cheerful state which never betrayed an ounce of jealousy. Surprised you as well, because if she was then sitting far away from Jie, she seemed to have found another target in the teammates from Sora's company. Indeed, each secretary had brought their coworkers responsible of the communication about the event or supposed to help you, your group then occupying at least three tables.
What had taken you so long, had been firstly the tasks you had wished to finish before leaving the building, and also your hard time choosing your outfit. In a way, you had wished to look pretty, but it wasn't exactly because of Jie's presence ; it was more because you were utterly conscious of Sora's. You had dreaded all day long to meet her – and her boyfriend – again, as you felt intimidated and embarrassed to be working with Jooheon's ex. That very ex whom he couldn't get over, and who, in a way, had deprived you of a relationship you had been dreaming of for so long.
You had then opted for a corduroy camel dress with large straps, wore over an oversized shirt, as well as comfortable boots and your favorite jacket. You considered you were right at the middle between casual and feminine ; at least, you felt pretty enough to finally take a seat next to Jie whose masculine yet fresh cologne hit you more than the smell of meat.
"Forgive me, I had to finish up a few things, the company's closed for three days in a row so I won't be able to work" you explained to Jiwoo and the rest of your team after everyone at the table had introduced themselves, and Kihyun chuckled at your remark.
"I hope you're going to take a break for the week-end and not think of work" he then inquired as he poured you some beer.
"You have a long week-end? How lucky of you!" Sora suddenly exclaimed with her hands clasping, making her boyf-… Her boss, laugh before his lips touched his glass.
God, it was painted all over his face ; he just loved her. His eyes were bearing an enamored spark as they landed on her, his long lashes giving them something so tender you felt chills on your arms just by watching.
You secretly wished someone – Lee Jooheon – would look at you like that. Oh but, Lee Jooheon had probably looked at her like that back in their days. Lucky her.
Before you could slap yourself to get out of your pitiful thoughts and way too envious state so that you could actually enjoy your night, Jie's smooth voice resounded in your eardrums :
"You want some?" he asked while holding a piece of meat between the pliers in his left hand, and you finally saw it.
Shining so brightly, looking more vivid than the heating charcoal under the barbecue plate in front of him, his life-line was lightened for you to see. You had been right : you were his ideal. You couldn't do anything except for nodding as this revelation and his two dark eyes boring into yours caught you off guard.
Was that him actually looking at you lovingly, like that, as you had just wished?
"Let me make you a wrap then" he smiled as he turned away from you to work on his preparation.
Your eyes dropped on his veiny forearms that were revealed as he had rolled up the sleeves of his white shirt to his elbows, before they dared to spy his profile. It was neat, as if sculpted in marble, as if borrowed from a manhwa. His hair looked wet on purpose and were combed back with the same hairstyle as the day before, yet a few strands were falling before his forehead, probably having lost the battle against the breeze outside. Was it because you felt lonely that you suddenly found him really attractive? Probably, because your heartbeat hadn't changed. However, at the thought that you were the girl of this man's fantasies, waves of heat came crashing against your skin and you bit your lip.
Was it a coincidence that he showed up now, or a sign that your heart should give a chance for another man to take it?
As Jie handed the piece of meat and lettuce neatly folded to you, you felt in his eyes that he was conveying a bit of his emotions at the same time, as something really sweltering was sparkling in them and lit up a tiny flame down your stomach. That man was so elegant and charming, and he dreamed to be with someone like you.
But that elegance and charm weren't the only great things you could list to describe him. As the dinner went on, you did your best to turn a blind eye on Sora's presence at the table and ended up chatting with Jie and his colleagues, whom you discovered were all good at Korean or English, and pretty nice. But Jie was always the nicest, the gentlest, the smartest, the fiercest of them all, at least in your eyes as you stared at him shamelessly.
He had dimples, just like Jooheon, but you quickly came to the conclusion that it was the only thing the two men had in common, probably explaining why the little light Jie's eyes had turned on inside you had soon been eaten by the remaining feelings Jooheon apparently still put you through just at the thought of him.
Jie was reserved, calm, hard-working. You came to understand that he was at least two years older than you, making you somehow shy and impressed. And you could read, in the eyes of his co-workers that gradually were turning red because of the soju you were sharing, that they all had a huge respect and admiration for him.
He was the perfect businessman every team would wish to work with : a good listener and an opportunity giver as he always asked about the quiet ones' opinions ; a responsible and wary person as he warned a teammate about how he should stop drinking because he had to meet his wife back home ; a polite mediator when he sensed that someone's remark could offend others, starting to calmly show to that person how rude he or she had been, or explaining his or her words so that everyone felt equally understood and not attacked.
And even though he didn't look like it, he was a funny guy. A timid one, but his jokes and his lovely smiles never failed to spread the happiness on the rest of the table's faces. He looked icy on the outside, having the silhouette of the serious secretary tightly gripped in his suit and shoes ; however, with how he remembered everyone's preferences when cooking the meat – including yours –, you could see that he was very warm.
On top of that, you truly felt how the law had made you a match to him, as he always seemed to complete your trail of thoughts, opening your eyes to another view you hadn't seen yet ; as he sensed when you didn't wish to drink anymore, stopping his teammates when they insisted to pour you a glass ; as he looked like he was eager to hear anything coming from your mouth, generously complimenting you for what you had achieved but without ever crossing the line where it would be too much.
Qian Jie was undeniably a sweet, sweet man, a man who embodied the perfect groom every mom would wish for her daughter to join at the end of the aisle ; nevertheless, objective perfection wasn't yours, and so the law was telling you.
Because, sadly for him, you couldn't help but compare his traits to your own ideal once you had drunk and eaten enough to do it without feeling your stomach knot.
It wasn't that Jooheon couldn't fit with the words warm, calm, or caring ; it just wasn't the same. Jooheon was more mischievous, more spontaneous and care-free when it came to talk about life stuff. On the few Instagram stories Kihyun had shared, you had seen him lose his temper during the futsal, or laugh and shout like a dork when he scored a goal. During the time you had spent chit-chatting with him at the bar or texting him afterwards, you had been attracted to his mysterious side, but his bubbly one had drawn you to him even more. It was that very spark that you liked, that insouciant charm he had, which certainly had been distraught by Sora but still managed to manifest itself from behind the walls Jooheon had built.
Just like his hair, Jooheon was fire, when Jie was water. The first one was full of passionate feelings to express, so much that he was about to break, so much that he was impulsive just like he had been that night with you ; when the latter seemed to prefer the smoothest of ways, always putting much thought in his actions and wordings, even in a situation where he had alcohol thickening his blood and was supposedly struck by the powers of the law.
You then wondered : what was the law's message to you? How come your ideal was fire, when you were supposed to suit water? Was it that you should trouble Jie's flow of life and make it more exciting and wilder, or that you should've canalized the flames so that Jooheon wouldn't burn himself anymore?
______
"Let's play a game! Girls versus boys, c'mon!" Changmin, the guy from your team who was the same age as yours, suddenly shouted, with his rosy cheeks inducing that he had swallowed a lot of booze.
You all agreed cheerfully and started exchanging seats, and in all the haste you accidentally ended up next to Sora, realizing then that you were going to get paired with her. She smiled at you immediately, and you wished she had been less beautiful, less kind, less lovely as she started a conversation with you while the boys were still struggling to understand the game's rules. Just as Jie and Jooheon were a world apart from each other, you felt diminished next to her, crumbling under the pile of differences you were spotting between the both of you.
You compared yourself again and again, as she shared with you her story about how she managed to climb up the ladder in her company at such a young age, as she envied your imagination but had the audacity and business-logic you lacked in, as she was so damn adorable that you could understand why Jooheon's heart hadn't turned to you at once. And if you couldn't see any flaws in him plausibly because the law was blinding you, this time you had your eyes fully opened as you watched and beamed at her, yet you couldn't pinpoint any flaws in her as well. You then imagined how hard it must be to fall out of love with someone like her, and how hard Jooheon must believe that he would never find better .
"Hello? Oh hey Jooheon!" Kihyun suddenly shouted over the ambient noise and his eyes instantly narrowed at you, a sickening smile twisting the corners of that filthy mouth of his.
You looked back at him as your body tensed up ; your ears did their best to catch the slightest word from this conversation ; your hands crumpled the napkin on your lap ; and your heart simply stopped beating as it had ascended up to your throat.
"Really? You're not kidding? You're taking the job?!" he exclaimed loud enough for you to hear. "Aaaaah you thought well my son, I can't wait to be your boss! You should be nice to me or I'll reduce your pay… Anyway good choice mate! Where I am? I'm out drinking and eating with Y/N and other colleagues!"
The way he insisted on your name punched an iron fist into your chest, which grabbed your bloody organ and pulled it down your throat to your stomach. Sora was right next to you and you could bet that she was listening too. What was he doing, putting on a show, all the while staring at you?!
I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, you cursed him through squinted eyes, and when you turned your attention back to your game partner, she was looking at you with surprisingly fond eyes.
However, she didn't say a word and simply grabbed your hands gently as Changmin told you to do so, and the game began, with a lot of laughter, too much mistakes and shouts, and thankfully, it stole your time to realize that you definitely were going to meet him again under those weird circumstances. Changmin sounded like he was full of crazy ideas tonight, as he shouted again, with his high-pitched voice :
"Let's go to the Golden Tiger! We're regulars there, we'll have some discounts! I like all of you so I want to treat you all with the company card!"
You suddenly felt as if you were going under a high fever, chills sliding down your skin while your head started spinning. Why that club, out of all the others? There were plenty of party sites in Seoul, why would he think of the one Jooheon works in? There were too much of coincidences in a short time, too much for you at least.
"I think I'll go home" you shyly muttered after a few seconds of zoning out and you stood up clumsily, hoping to escape as you knew your coworkers could turn into sharp traps clenching your ankle and preventing you to flee the scene.
You obviously knew that going down there was going to result in you losing your reason as you were completely disturbed by the love triangle you were tangled in. You would end up doing crazy things to evacuate all your stress, such as such as going to Jooheon's counter and bawl your eyes out before him because you felt empty and way too emotional after having spent the night with his ex. With that very ex to watch and him only paying attention to her and not to your ridiculous state, on top of that. This scenario was close to the one of a nightmare, and it was definitely a no-no.
You spanned the bench you had been seating on and everyone followed your lead, thinking you were pressed to go clubbing when you actually just couldn't stay in place and wished to run away as fast as you could. Once outside, your heels were bouncing slightly on the pavement, as you clutched your phone against your heart while the rest of the group was busy paying for your food, going to the restroom or trying to light a cigarette in spite of the breeze. Then, as you were about to bid them goodbye, Sora's voice was suddenly heard delivering the same excuse as yours, but with an alibi no one could question :
"I think we'll go home, that mister obviously can't follow" she struggled to say with a smile as she had the arm of her boyfriend hooked around her neck, his legs apparently giving up on him and making him completely lean on her, with his head down.
"Where do you think you're going?" Jiwoo threw darts at you with her eyes as she could guess from your moving figure that you were impatiently waiting for the moment to slip away.
"I'm-"
"Y/N, can I have a word with you for a second?" Sora suddenly called you out behind your back as she tossed her boss's body over to one of their colleagues who whined at how heavy he was.
Cold sweat ran down your spine and you gulped, your body always suffering from high tension whenever your eyes met hers.
"What is it?" you asked her after having taken a few steps away with her at your side, your tongue heavy and your cheeks completely flushed.
Even though the fresh air was stimulating your senses, they were quite altered by the effects of alcohol. You hadn't drunk that much, yet you had barely managed to stuff something to eat down your throat, too immersed into Jie's doings next to you, when you hadn't been thinking about Jooheon.
Through your half-closed eyelids, you could still see that the young woman was somehow hesitant, swaying from one foot to another and her fingers fiddling with each other. She bit her lip as she looked up at you, before grabbing your shoulders.
"Look… I'm sorry but I can't help saying what's been on my mind… I think… You know me" she started with a smile, and your tension suddenly went up to its limit, making you dizzier than you already were. "Or should I say, you know Jooheon, and through him… You know who I was to him. I read it in your eyes on the day of the meeting, and I read it on your face tonight, when he called."
You felt so ashamed that you wished a black hole could suck you up in an instant far away from her grasp and her eyes still looking at you caringly.
"I just wanted to tell you that you don't have to feel uncomfortable with me around! We are working together and he'll be there on the ship. To be honest, I wished Jooheon could meet someone after me who made him realize I wasn't the best for him, and if that's you- Oh my god sorry this sounds weird" she pressed her words. "I just think you're such a cool girl, Y/N. I haven't seen Kihyun trying so obviously hard in a while, he wouldn't if he didn't think you were too! I hope you two last long!"
_______
"What's going on between them?" Kihyun asked as his eyes fell on his friend's ex and you, the concern clear in his voice as he had just stepped out of the dining bar.
"I don't know, but Y/N wants to leave" Jiwoo grumbled before shivering as a whirlwind shrouded her body and messed with her light blonde hair.
"Ah…" your colleague sighed before taking his phone out to answer to his last message.
Kihyun [11:30 p.m.] : Dude, we're going to your club, is there a free table for the twelve of us?
My kid Jooheon [11:36 p.m.] : TWELVE?
My kid Jooheon [11:36 p.m.] : I'll see what I can do, but you better pay the bill tonight not like the last time, I'll never be nice to you again
My kid Jooheon [11:36 p.m.] : AND STOP TEXTING ME WHEN I'M AT WORK FFS
Kihyun [11:38 p.m.] : Well you're answering anyways, thanks I love yooooou
My kid Jooheon [11:39 p.m.] : Y/N's coming?
Kihyun [11:45 p.m.] : Oh, weird question isn't it, you never ask abt her
Kihyun [11:45 p.m.] : But I don't think so man
My kid Jooheon [11:46 p.m.] : Ah… I hope that's not because of me, I don't want her to miss a great night like she did last time at the bar
Kihyun [11:46 p.m.] : You're still thinking of this? Shit I guess I really messed up that time wow
[Unread message] Jooheon [11:46 p.m.] : Oh really no kidding
Kihyun [11:48 p.m.] : She's a bit drunk right now so I just think she's tired
Kihyun was lying, because he was well aware of your reasons without you wording it to him ; however, he couldn't make his friend feel worse than he already was.
My kid Jooheon [11:49 p.m.] : Someone's taking her home, right?
Kihyun [11:49 p.m.] : I don't know, she's about to leave now
My kid Jooheon [11:50 p.m.] : Ok…
My kid Jooheon [11:50 p.m.] : I know it's awkward of me to ask but… Just don't let her walk home alone, please
______
"I got rejected" you had managed to reply to Sora in the meantime.
Her rant had killed you on the spot, her kindness completely fired up with alcohol and drifting to something close to indiscretion without her wanting it to. You knew her words weren't meant to hurt you, but it still did.
She was so desperate to have Jooheon moving on, to lessen the burden on her shoulders, the weight of the pain she had caused obviously still tormenting her. Just like him trying with you, she was seeking for a way to his happiness on his behalf, but in your eyes, it was mainly in order to make up for her guilt.
"Y/N!" Kihyun suddenly ran up the pavement to you, pushing discretely his phone in his pocket as he wished to keep his last conversation a complete secret and try to execute his "mission".
"Yes?" you threw a jaded stare at him.
You didn't have the strength to deal with two people wishing for a relationship between Jooheon and you to happen when you knew better than them that the latter didn't want to see it bloom to begin with. You were too tired to prove them wrong and fight against their concerns that were anything but touching at this point. Your lower lip started to tremble as you gave Kihyun a pleading, defeated look ; you were on the verge of breaking into a set of tears as you wished for nothing except for you to be safe and sound in your apartment, falling asleep so that this long night would be put to an end and another day would come quicker. A day where you'd be back to your strong-self dealing amazingly with her feelings and her everyday life without romance like she had promised herself to do.
"Y/N, let's go" Jie suddenly told you from his position a few feet away, saving you from hell as if he had heard your secret prayers, as if he was the only one to get the distress you were drowning in. "I'm not going to the club either, so I shall come with you. C'mon, I'll take you home."
The second your stare came across his and his reassuring tone caressed your eardrums, some salty, hot, tickling water definitely accrued at the crease of your eyelids. That kind man down there had fulfilled your needs without you even asking for it. He would certainly work for your happiness, and he was probably already fond of you and could be for a long time if you'd just let him ; still, the warm smile he addressed you wasn't enough to falter the misery the name "Jooheon" had pushed you in all over again. Nothing could ever make up for it, no one could fill up the void in your heart, except for Jooheon himself. However, he wouldn't. And to realize that, after three months of persuasion, was eating you alive.
Kihyun [11:55 p.m.] : She's leaving now, with a man from the company we'll be working for…
*
**
***
**
*
You couldn't clearly picture the way back home with Jie when you woke up the next morning with your head wheezing painfully, and you never tried to recall it afterwards as you spent your long weekend reconciliating with the fighting spirit you had sported 'til the past two days. You just knew you had walked for a while and felt a hint of his touch on your shoulders as he had covered them with his coat. You could picture yourself hopping in a taxi, yet you couldn't remember if you had talked, fallen asleep, or maybe cried in front of him ; neither did you know how you had managed to enter your flat and find your way to bed.
Qian Jie [10:06 a.m.] : Are you alright?
This lone message had put a smile on your dry lips, and your heavy fingers had managed to type a "yes, thank you for asking and taking me home yesterday" even though the room had seemed to be turning around your body, not helping to focus. You hadn't drunk that much to the point of enduring a blackout and such a harsh hangover, but you could guess that it simply were your brain and body that refused to cooperate after they had been plunged into the swamp of your negative emotions all over again.
However, you took the signs into account and instead of burying your emotions deep down as the tsunami they turned into once triggered wasn't welcomed, you accepted the fact that you were damned to like Lee Jooheon for a longer while. You hadn't been able to force your feelings out no matter how hard you had tried, then only being nicer to yourself could lift the weight of misery off your shoulders and help you not to falter at the sound of his name next time.
Meanwhile, you allowed yourself to chat with Jie sometimes for work, sometimes casually as he managed to push the conversation over event-related things. Of course you liked talking to him, as your mind was somehow destined to clink with his more than with the rest of men in this world, and obviously Jie seemed to be falling for you as you deciphered the sweet tone in his voice every time he would call you to check on – futile – things. And if his feelings were still one-sided for now, you gave your heart a break by stopping the overthinking and just enjoying your little excitement ; maybe you'd turn the page too before you'd know it…?
However, the day you had to see Jooheon's face again came sooner than you had expected, because right after you had come back to work, your team manager had had the wonderful idea to plan a briefing reunion between your team and the staff you had hired for the food making, the service, the animation or the music, were they independent workers or specialized companies which would then send a representant. You would explain what you expected from them, what was the theme, what were the rules, what would be the organization, all of this around a small buffet.
Himchan had thought that it would be a more humane and clearer way than communicating by mail or phone, and if you couldn't deny, your nervous heart didn't thank him on the D-Day while you were waiting in your company's hall to greet the convoked people. Of course, Jooheon wouldn't be represented as he had been especially recommended ; so of course, instead of having the information relayed to him by someone else, he was going to hear it from your mouth directly, your very mouth that still itched at the thought of your kiss ; and of course, Kihyun had ensured you with a smirk that his friend had confirmed his presence. How professional of him. What confused you above it all, was that you couldn't decipher the reason why he would still accept this job, when he was back in the football game…
______
The clock was ticking on the watch enclosing his left wrist, and Jooheon found himself unable to walk through the glass doors of the huge building without having the fear that his heart would burst like a firework. Once again, his body was strangely stimulated by some flashes of thoughts he had of you every once in a while, and that never missed to make him feel edgy. Had he really made the right choice, wouldn't his mind had let go of the memories just like ashes evaporating in the air by now?
He hated how indiscreet his eyes had been these past months, lurking at Kihyun's phone's screen whenever he was sliding through his feed on Instagram, hoping he'd get to see a picture of you smiling and being – at least apparently – well. Because he, had been doing pretty well. Much better, to be precise.
Just like you had suggested him to, he had finally gathered the sufficient courage to confront his second biggest fear, football, as he couldn't stand the feeling of being such a loser and scaredy-cat anymore. Stopping to live like that had somehow been his way to cope with what he had done to you. He had then met with his coach after a long time of ignoring his calls, who had gladly welcomed him and re-offered his help to train him all over again, as well as his teammates who were happy to get their brother back in the family.
And as he had finally felt alive on the track field after a long time of wandering like a lost soul between his home and the club, his thankful heart and mind had only been craving to tell you how right you had been. In the end, without even being by his side anymore, you still had been the wind pushing him across the paths of challenges but happiness as well, would it be that night or right now, and Jooheon could never forget how this quick passage of yours had marked him for life. You had tamed the fire within him, reason why the ashes were still around…
His sharp eyes had barely caught the sight of you chatting with Kihyun and whom he guessed were other colleagues behind the windows, that his stomach twisted itself just like his mother used to twist their drenched laundry.
"Lee Jooheon, we need to go, they're waiting" a dismayed voice called him out.
His agent was standing in front of the doors, his expression clearly inducing how impatient and upset he was starting to feel before his childish behavior.
"Why'd you come anyway? It's embarrassing, I don’t need you for personal affairs like these" the younger boy grumbled while pushing his hands into the pockets of his black trousers.
"The coach told me to see for myself how much of an important meeting you were attending for you to miss a training day" the man smiled sarcastically.
"Ah-a! I regret going back to him, I didn't know he'd be that clingy and wouldn't trust me ever again!" Jooheon scoffed, earning some time.
"It's not that he doesn't trust you, he's just scared that he'll lose you anytime, you're still his precious gem you know, the future of his club, the son he had lost for a while, his-"
"Oh no stop it please, this is cringy" Jooheon frowned while covering his ears, even if he still heard the laugh of his agent which drastically stopped as he pushed the door open.
"Come on. Let's go" he ordered with a straight face.
"I really didn't miss you, not once" the footballer sighed.
This man, Mr. Seo, a father of two kids and a devoted husband, had always been there for him, even when he had cut ties with everyone. He had kept on sending diet food and side dishes to his place after the injury, just like had been doing back when Jooheon was training under his protection, with encouraging notes telling him to take his time but to come back. Unfortunately for him, Jooheon had only felt more guilty and unworthy at the sight of these pure displays of affection he couldn't pay back, instead of getting cheered up.
Your stares met as soon as Jooheon made his entry, and the corners of his mouth couldn't help but curl themselves up to offer you a shy smile, his suffering stomach immediately untying so that it would welcome the fluttering sensation of sparks tingling its walls. Yet you didn't smile back, or more accurately, not at him but at someone coming from behind him as your eyes quickly left his. They indeed followed a man who strode past Jooheon's manager, wearing a dark brown suit and with a neat hairstyle, his blonde hair color seeming to be the one of his birth and not the result of bleaching the locks a few times. The man came to stand next to you, and as Jooheon was concentrating to distinguish your voice over the lots of blabbering around him in the hall, Kihyun called him out :
"Lee Jooheon! Oh hello Mr. Seo! Finally, I was about to call you!" his friend smiled, obviously having said it loud enough so that everyone would admire the latecomer.
All the faces turned to him as they heard the familiar name, belonging to a "football player who has made his comeback to the infamous club in Seoul and is preparing all over again to enter the national team in the near future". Or so the medias were saying, in such a dramatical way. As much as he hated being the center of attention, his coach had been going out and about his "great return" as well as his teammates on their social accounts – they were proud, but way too proud. Jooheon hissed discretely, noticing embarrassingly that a girl from the group was already gazing at him quite intently, but what embarrassed him the most was his brain that told him he would have liked to catch your attention instead.
However, you were still discussing with the suited man whose head was quite close to yours, showing him something on sheets you were arranging for him and nodding back at him, before you cleared your throat :
"Welcome everyone, and thank you for coming. Please follow us to the first floor where our team manager is waiting for you" you announced.
"Wow she's young" Jooheon heard a man whisper.
"And pretty hot" another muttered back before they giggled together.
The sparks in Jooheon's body suddenly lit up a flame that was about to blow up into a raging fire if he ever heard another comment coming from their dirty mouths. He hadn't known he would be that sensitive to see you again today, and if he had, he would have gladly stayed in bed this early morning. Everything was wrong about the way he was feeling right now, about how he was craving for your attention, about how he was nervous to be around you, when you seemed to be so calm – with that man standing at your side and smiling at you and you smiling back at him and him letting you enter the lift first as a true gentleman even if his hand on your back was a tad too much.
It was as if the situation was pushing him into a corner of discomfort the more he had your silhouette, which was lovely more than pretty hot, in his sight, that very silhouette he had refused to hold in his arms exclusively. He could feel the excitement bubbling within his limbs, sign that you still were like a shot of happiness to him, but what were those upsetting side-effects?
______
You stepped into a large room where the guests each chose a seat while you took place next to Himchan who was ready to give his speech. Jie sat at the front row, on your left, prepared to take notes so that he could relay the organization to his boss ; and thankfully, Sora had sent a colleague, putting the strangling reunion of your love triangle with Jooheon off to the scary date of the event.
"Good morning everyone! I'm Kim Himchan, the manager in charge of this project and this is Yoo Kihyun, Y/L/N Y/N and Jeon Jiwoo, my people, my team" your boss started with a clap of his hands.
Jooheon was sitting at the far back of the room, his right foot landed over his left knee, his hands with tangled fingers across his leg, his black turtleneck top under his camel trucker jacket catching your eye, but less than the fact that he had shortened his hair and the color had faded since the last time you met, signs that a long time had passed. Yet, his handsomeness never failed to feed your eyes, but when they met his dark pupils, your blood turned icy. He looked like the distant, rebellious kid at the back of the class that pinned the teachers down in their place with their piercing gaze.
You wondered if Jie was feeling the same way every time he met you, and if that was the case, you pitied him ; you were quite lucky to come across Jooheon only once in a while, as he shook your senses enough for you to feel disturbed even once you had parted, and you hated it.
Though this time, something had changed in him, but you couldn't pinpoint exactly what. Something in his look was turning your body stiff, just like it had the first time at the club ; it had been the only one time you had seen him shining with confidence and easiness, and right now, it seemed as if the usual gloominess that had inhabited him afterwards had… Gone. Had you guessed it right, had football really relieved him? Or was it something else? Either way, you didn't receive nor share his sadness this time as something different was emanating from him.
The more the clock on the wall was reading the seconds passing by, the more your hand was starting to hurt like hell, and the less you could focus on the meeting. You ignored if the explanation of the pain was lingering in the pure fact that the two lines were solicited at the same time, or simply that your body was overreacting under your systematical, uncontrollable desire to have Jooheon for you, and to have him lean on you.
The two pair of eyes of the men bound to you by destiny were focused on your being, unashamedly, inevitably, obviously staring at you and you only, and you were thrilled to read some kind of intensity in Jooheon's pupils each time you came to catch their sight. Mechanically, your thumb had started to slide along your palm in order to soothe the scorching sensation you thought you were the only one to suffer from, until you perceived your ideal's fingers doing exactly the same, with his palm turned to the ceiling for you to see.
You then got captured in a glimpse of time and space where nobody could tell, except for the both of you, that you were letting yourselves getting consumed into the sweet pain and under each other's stares. Suddenly, when Jie shifted in his seat and grasped your attention, his shy smile at you turned the sweet pain into an excruciating one, as if someone was planting a knife into your hand again and again.
It told how much you were torn between your need for your one-sided love to be accepted, and the will you had developed to walk down the possible way out of it.
"And that's about it! Any questions, before we get our claws on the appetizing buffet behind you?" Himchan concluded just before you'd scream out of pain, and as nobody rose a hand, you used the mass movement towards the back of the room as an opportunity to run discretely to the toilets.
The cold water flowing on your palm made you sigh in relief, and you closed your eyes for a moment, but ended up opening them in a haste as the picture of Jooheon staring at you had appeared in the black space veiling your pupils. What was wrong with him? When you had imagined he'd be nothing more than formal with you as three months had passed without him regretting anything, in fact he had almost been scanning you naked with his insisting look at your face. You slowly regained your composure as the pain dispelled, and finally walked out of the restroom, only to be met by one of the guests, a man in his mid-thirties, in the corridor.
"Oh sir? Did you lose yourself?" you asked him as he had been standing with his back against the wall.
He stood up properly with a smug look on his traits that instantly put you in a cagey position as something disturbing was glowing from his body, like a bad feeling, and he took long strides until he was properly facing you.
"Actually no… It might sound weird, but I followed you here because I wanted to have a short private talk with you, Miss Y/L/N" he said with a smile that wasn't warming at all.
"R-really? You must have some points to share? Tell me so I could relay them to my sup-"
"You're really professional, I like you even more…" he acknowledged in a low-tone, and this time, you were definitely embarrassed.
Was he hitting on you, right now? There was nobody in the corridor as the restrooms were quite far from the meeting rooms, and you weren't sure of how this would end as you'd have to turn his eventual confession down.
"I just wanted a bit of privacy, to ask you out for dinner, tomorrow night. Just you and me."
"I'm sorry but I'll have to refuse, sir." you smiled awkwardly with an enchanting tone to chase away the tension building between the both of you. "Thank you for proposing, but-"
"Oh please, you can't refuse, it's my treat! I know a bunch of luxurious restaurants that women adore, you won't regret it!" he insisted, grabbing his phone in the pocket of his costume's vest and presenting it to you. "Here! Why refuse, my pretty lady, hm? That senior is ready to do anything for you."
He looked so arrogant, obviously thinking girls who were young were also dupe and would gladly give themselves to him, but he had been wrong about you. You almost rolled your eyes at his stubborn behavior, as if using his status and pet names – that were out of place – would make you change your mind.
"I'm really sorry, I can't accept your offer, sir. Should we go back to-"
"Why are you refusing?" he suddenly groaned, combing his hair nervously. "Don't you know how good of an opportunity this is for your company? We could be great partners afterwards! You shouldn't be that difficult and just give me a night, huh? C'mon, I told you you wouldn't regret it!"
Your heartbeat was now the one of some kind of fanfare turning hectic, as you felt anger fueling through your veins at his threat, but also the premises of panic because the two of you were alone.
"I don't think us going out on a date tomorrow has anything to do with my career or my company, sir" you tried to answer in the politest of tones before biting your tongue so that insults wouldn't proliferate out of your lips.
"Hey, you little- You should know better than to talk back to your elders and just accept the good deeds they do for you, shouldn't you?"
"I think I have the right to refuse, sir. I'm sorry."
"You're very stubborn as I can see… What a shame, hm?"
The man suddenly grabbed your right arm, freezing you in your heels, his eyes opened wide and his brows furrowed in pent-up frustration as you didn't comply to his far from legitim authority. And just as he had been about to lecture you some more, a hand caught his and firmly removed it from your limb.
"You heard her, right? She refused, you disgusting pervert" Jooheon interfered in a tensed, stern tone as he stepped before you, before his jaw clenched tightly.
The surprise of his sudden appearance and your frozen state quickly faded away as his citrus perfume invaded your space ; and like an enchantment, it lifted the atmosphere up, relaxed your limbs and untied the knot twisting your stomach in fear, making you feel at ease and secure.
"W-What?" the man stuttered, looking impressed by the young man's serious face and his apparent strength as he had squeezed his hand without pity.
"I filmed everything before interfering, and I'll report this to your employer, you can be sure of it. Also, I can make it buzz in a few hours, don't you know who I am? Huh? I can bring you down in a minute" he pursued as he took a step further. "I can't believe you're proudly saying you're a senior when you act like an ignorant pervert. So maybe I, a junior, should teach you how life is. Nothing will ever give you the right to think women should oblige when you say so. You're nobody. No-bo-dy. You don't have any right to tell a woman she's disrespectful when you don't respect her in the first place. Do you get what I'm saying, sir? Or should I make it clearer? You don't have any right to lay your dirty hands on a woman unless she agrees for you to do so, you hear me? You don't have any right to intimidate her or even talk to her to begin with, you scumbag, you filthy dirty scumbag I swear you should be taught to be a man"
Jooheon had approached the businessman a bit more, his right index pointing at his chest but never touching him, his physical presence enough to crush anyone else's self-assurance into dozens of pieces. His unphased expression and threatening behavior impressed you, as well as his sharp tone, mostly because you were their trigger. Something had definitely changed in him. Something that was straightening his back and glowed through every pore of his fair skin, telling you he was now standing with a confidence you hadn't known of.
He looked like a man that finally was comfortable enough in his own shoes, but as you could decipher the invisible flames of fury irradiating all around his body and spotted his left fist tightening, you grabbed his wrist so that he wouldn't take it further. Jooheon turned back to your fingers wrapped around his watch, then to you.
"I won't do anything, only if you forgive him" your ideal then addressed you in a calm tone, before he unblocked your sight of the man for you to kill him with a disgusted stare.
"Don't get that angry, young boy, I-I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry" the latter couldn't talk properly anymore, shame reddening his prominent cheeks.
Jooheon's eyes were gazing at you with a sweetness reminding you of that morning when he had held you close in his kitchen, and you cursed secretly at him for having appeared next to you when you were at your weakest, as his ambiguous behavior made your heart flutter even more. It conveyed the same light of false hopes you had tried to turn a blind eye to, and it was dangerously circling you.
"He's not the one you should apologize to" a familiar voice suddenly cut in the conversation, and Jie appeared from the end of the corridor with a face as strict as Jooheon's. "I witnessed everything as well and looked up for your company's contact information. I won't let this go. This isn't making business, this isn't profitable for your company or hers, this is harassment, and you should be ashamed of it."
Jooheon's brows quirked in surprise as he looked at the plus-one who had put an end to his somehow intimate moment with you, only to be met with the darkest stare he'd ever received in his whole life. Dark, but also… Thankful? Your eyes were going back and forth between the two saviors, as you felt that an electric vibe was circulating from a pair of eyes to another. The pain in your hand burned your flesh all over again as you did so, and the second you winced, Jooheon and Jie's attention focused on you, completely forgetting about the third party who let out a long sigh before hanging his head low, evidently having a hard time swallowing his pride to apologize to you.
"I'm sorry, miss. Forgive me."
"I hope you will stop thinking that your position should make women appreciate you and beg for a night with you. I will stay nice for now because the event is coming soon and we can't replace you in such a short time. But I hope that your attitude doesn't reflect your company's values, I'll ask about it myself. Just know that it would be shameless of you to dare come out in front of me ever again, and if you do so, the video will be out" you managed to warn him even though your voice was trembling due to your need to moan your suffering out. "Let's go back to the room"
You didn't know where your confidence to lecture an older man had come from when he had been pretty intimidating before and you had been quite scared for yourself ; surely Jooheon's and Jie's overpowering auras, like those of two knights in shining armors, had made you feel protected and supported.
"You're coming with me" Jie surprisingly took your hand in his and without further explanations, leaded the walk down the corridor, leaving the pervert behind the both of you ruminating his own frustration and fright to get reported anytime, but also Jooheon whose lips got sealed the second your skins weren't in contact anymore.
His eyes fell down on your hand intertwined in his, an unreadable expression veiling his traits before they went up to your face as you looked back at him while walking away, still flustered by his intervention, and torn to have your hand in another man's.
______
"Where are you taking me? And why hold my hand?" you asked Jie as you followed behind him.
You didn't have the guts to tear your hands apart on your own, the serious look on his face preventing you to do so.
"Where can I find ice?" Jie asked you back as he kept on pacing straight in the hallway.
"Ice? Ah that's right, we forgot to put some on the tables for the drinks! We can go to the rest area, we have a fridge there" you informed him, your heart beating fast. "It's the door on the right, over there…"
Once you had entered the empty room, Jie finally freed your palm to close the door behind the both of you, then he pressed himself towards the fridge. You silently observed him as he put some ice cubes in a towel he had found on the vending machine's handle, before he told you to sit on one of the sofas.
"What? Why?"
"I know your left hand is hurting, you were rubbing it a while ago and I can feel it too, it hurts pretty badly, doesn't it?" he answered in the most natural of ways, and your heart begun the fanfare all over again.
He was so considerate, from the way he had noticed your pain, to how he had also stepped up to a senior only to defend you. For the first time since your encounter, and even though your feelings belonged to someone else, you couldn't deny that it had reached out to you, almost in a romantic way.
"O-Oh… Thank you…"
"I'm sorry I followed you to the toilets, but I was pretty worried about you" he then told you straightforwardly.
It looked like he was having a lots of arrows to shoot at you on this day.
"Actually I went to the toilets to put some water on it, but ice is way better" you sighed in relief as he was massaging your palm with the ballot of ice he had quickly made, and the mixture of the warmth of his hand supporting yours and the cold of the fabric was the most soothing of sensations.
His brows were furrowed as he was concentrating on keeping his gestures delicate, and you took this opportunity to close your eyes briefly. Some pictures of the previous incident flashed through your mind, and you gazed back at Jie to admire his sharp traits that never failed to fascinate you. How come your thoughts were monopolized by Jooheon's face and questions about him, when this man right here was ready to give you what you needed? The law was so unfair to the both of you.
"Thank you, for also coming to my rescue earlier, that man was pretty creepy" you said before biting your lip, as he probably hadn't been able to prevent himself to do so.
"I'm just glad I followed you there, my instincts definitely never betray me" he smiled purely as his eyes finally looked at you, catching you in the act of analyzing every single inch of his skin. "Oh and about tomorrow night… What will you be doing?"
"Tomorrow night? Nothing, I only told him no because I didn't want to go" you chuckled.
"Oh well… I was willing to ask you out on a date anyway, so I might just do it now. Would you mind going out to eat with me instead, tomorrow night?"
His eyes conveyed an intensity that flushed your cheeks and suspended time for a second, in this room only lightened by the few rays of sun penetrating through the small window and enlightening in gold his light strands of hair. You could have sworn your heart had finally given up some beats to this man worthy of everything, but its main rhythm was obviously stimulated by another man that was somewhere behind this door.
The way to a possible happiness without him was paved right before you for your eyes to see, and probably to a new beginning with a decent man ; however, you knew from your past relapse at the sight of Jooheon's picture, and from the way he had overshadowed Jie earlier would it be in the room or in the corridor, that you weren't quite ready to date or love anyone else but him.
"Can I give you my answer later?" you still smiled.
It would be the perfect occasion to be truthful with him and put an end to his false hopes just like Jooheon had done with you, before it would be too late, before he would end up as miserable as you had been for weeks. The temptation to just give in the easy way had been powerful as his care for you was heart-fluttering, but less than your feelings for Jooheon, and you couldn't deceive Jie or yourself anymore.
"Sure, Y/N" he gently nodded before going back to his ministrations without saying another word.
______
Jooheon had witnessed the incident from the very beginning. Indeed, he had seen you step out of the room hurriedly and not too long after, one of the men he had heard talking dirtily about you earlier in the main hall had followed you. Just like Jie, his guts had told him that nothing good would happen out of an eventual encounter, and they had taken his feet through the huge and numerous hallways of the building, the red vest of the pervert always in his sight.
He had then waited quietly at the corner of a crossover, observing the man as he had paced around in front of the women's restroom's door before stationing himself against the wall. Jooheon's heart had been bumping against his ribcage, while his hands had enclosed into tight fists, the tension getting higher in this silent corridor. When you had finally stepped out, he had caught his breath not to miss any single word of your conversation, and had brandished his handphone to record the scene in case you'd need it.
The second the man had dropped his first dirty move on you, Jooheon's anticipation had turned into anger, his veins popping out of his neck, hands and even temples. And right at the moment when he had decided he'd had enough of this disgusting scene playing under his two eyes, he had spotted the blonde man in his brown suit walking down the hallway facing his, approaching the scene. That was when a thought had popped up in his mind fueled with rage : he had promised himself not to be a coward anymore. And that very thought, had urged his body towards yours, as if attracted to you like a magnet, and made him intervene before his twisted brain could tell him to hide like the runaway he was.
Jooheon had rarely seen that red in his whole life, as he had felt on the verge to crush the man down until he had been crawling and begging for your forgiveness, but mostly, the sensation of being strong, important in your eyes had excited him somehow.
Nevertheless, it hadn't lasted long. When the blonde man had finally interrupted him in his rare time of following his heart, when he had looked at him without blinking, Jooheon's confidence had lost to his doubts, again. The sadness lingering in your last text message, the memory of your teary eyes three months ago, the echo of your voice begging him to stop acting as if there was a way for a "you" to happen struck him like a thunderbolt. Maybe this man, would make you happy when he had failed to.
That millisecond of torment had been enough for this very man to be the one taking your hand then your body away from that dirty stranger, without thinking or hesitating, and to leave him as the defeated man he still seemed to be. He thought he had changed, but once more, what had only been left, was the price of his regrets or, like his friend Minhyuk had accurately induced, the price of his feelings he had wrongfully subsided. Right in this corridor, Lee Jooheon had been a bit too late to realize that he liked you too, as his lingering anger had transformed into frustration and jealousy.
Regrets, regrets, regrets. Jooheon was getting tired of this bugging feeling. So tired that he'd do anything to not welcome them anymore. And as his eyes had fallen on his empty left hand, his vivid heart-line scorching his skin couldn't have seemed more meaningful to him.
The key to the end of this long labyrinth he had been wandering in with his eyes closed, hoping to find an issue while avoiding the new experiences in front of him, was in fact residing in one thing : his heart, that had given him the most impulsive, spontaneous of directives in a while, but the most ecstatic of feelings once he had been close to you.
His heart, calling for him to fall off the cliff he had been hanging on for too long, and to finally give in to the euphoria of love, for himself and for you.
*
**
***
**
*
"I'll send them off manager, don't worry!" you exclaimed to Himchan's attention as you walked out of the building and stood a few meters away from the entrance to shake hands with everyone and thank them.
The subtle breeze comforted you after the disturbing episode in the hallway, but it couldn't calm the drum solo your bloody organ was still playing as you knew you'd come to face Jooheon again. You hadn't had the chance to approach him after you had been back to the meeting room, as Jie had stood by your side all the while, his eyes telling you that he had been worried that you'd collapse at any moment, once the pressure had completely fallen down.
Your heels were stamping the pavement as you were thinking of what to say, but also wondering if you could ask the questions Jooheon had the talent to outnumber with additional ones every time you met, leaving them preys to your unending interpretation.
The man of your dreams was the last one to step out, his agent leaving the two of you on the forecourt after bidding politely his goodbyes, and before you could open your mouth to thank him properly for having protected you, Jooheon asked you :
"Are you alright?"
"I guess, thanks to you. Thank you for intervening, really" you said truthfully, and when your eyes dived into his crescent ones, your body vibrated with the familiar yet dangerous tsunami of feelings you had bottled up.
Jooheon shared that same trembling feeling as he, too, had kept many things inside for a long while, and as he was letting them out one after the other, he couldn't fight the smile curling his lips at your sight and answer.
"Good then, I'm glad to hear that" he sighed his thoughts out, before licking his lower lip. "I have a thing to be thankful for you as well."
"Me? What is it?" you questioned him with doubt lacing your voice.
"I've been practicing football again, and I wouldn't have hadn't it been for you. You might not realize it, but I wanted to thank you anyways because it has helped me a lot" he confessed.
His deep and serious tone made you scoff the embarrassment out of your body, before swinging slightly back and forth to vivify your limbs as they could melt under his stare at any moment. You felt nervous to be left alone with that new version of him, his quiet strength overhanging you.
"What does that even mean, I didn't do anything special…" you grumbled. "Anyway, I'm glad to hear that as well."
He chuckled at your reaction, and started counting the seconds passing by, his brain urging itself to find what to say so that you wouldn't part ways already.
"Can I ask you a question?" you unexpectedly spoke up another time, relieving him as you granted him a bit more time.
"Sure, go ahead" Jooheon shrugged, his palms growing sweaty because of the anticipation.
"Why did you take the job? You don't need it anymore, I mean you're back in the club" you interrogated frankly, an apparent unphased look dressing your face.
You had taken acting classes back in school, so you knew how to pretend. When you could sometimes share his emotions or read him like an open book because he was your soulmate, you had decided to take an advantage of this unbalanced situation by displaying a bit of nonchalance and distancing, so that you wouldn't falter before him as easily as in front of his resumé.
"Hmmm…" he hummed as he certainly hadn't expected this question to come out. "Should I be honest or-"
"I can tell if you lie, you know" you reminded him while waving your left hand at him with the red mark shining brightly.
"That's true… Well, let's say that my guts told me to do so" Jooheon managed to mumble while diverting his eyes from your face as it could drive him into betraying his deepest intentions.
Even though he had found pure bliss in acting recklessly earlier, his body moving and his tongue untying without warning, now that there was only the two of you he was hyperaware of his every move, scared to ruin his chance to try putting the pieces of an "us" together, or at least sow its seeds.
"Your guts…?"
You tilted your head, unsure of what it meant. Another swirl of wind flew around you and brought his scent right into your nostrils again, his presence getting more and more overwhelming.
"Yeah, my guts" Jooheon reiterated as his eyes lowered back on you with the same intensity as in the hallway, catching the legs of time that stopped running along with your breath.
He could see that you were drowning under a sea of confusion as his behavior swayed between assertive and careful of being too forward, confusing him all the same as he was hesitating about what to actually do. Hiding his feelings and himself wasn't an option anymore ; but why couldn't all of his fiery honesty just form the right words that would translate what he actually felt about you?
"Fine, see you soon then" you abruptly concluded, upset by his vague answer that was way worse than silence, and you extended your hand to send him off just like you had done with the rest of the group.
Jooheon gladly took it, but he didn't let go after a short shake ; in fact, he pulled at it in a swift move once he had sensed that you were about to question his actions, bringing you pretty close to him.
"You said you could tell when I lied…" the words trailed out of his mouth as he looked down at you with sparkly and squinted eyes. "Well, I kinda lied."
"What do you-"
Your voice suddenly got muted as the orange-haired boy snaked his way around your neck and waist with his arms, lightly squeezing your body into a hug before his head landed on your shoulder, his neck kissing your lips. You gasped, but your hands were unable to push him away, whether it be you giving in to his touch as you loved it just like you loved him, or the law tying them down to your body as it had finally gotten what it existed for : you being close to your soulmate.
"Sorry, that's what my guts told me to do as well" his voice vibrated through his chest against yours and resonated in your headwalls. " I think I missed you, Y/N. I'm too ashamed to say it straight to your face, but my guts… No, my heart is making me crave to do all sort of things today, and for the first time in a while, I know I won't regret it."
At this confession, his fingers dug a bit deeper into the fabric of your blazer. You could feel his heart beating fast against your torso, giving credit to his messy declaration that left you breathless. Your own vital organ was throbbing at the erosion of thoughts buzzing through your mind, from you stealing a kiss from him to smacking his face for being this late ; but the chills on your skin were slowly inducing that you were somehow thrilled to believe that something was actually happening. After all your efforts. After three months. After only a short reunion in the morning.
"I thought of you pretty often, as reconciliating with football was a way for me to stop living like a coward waiting for things to get better without working on it at some point" he acknowledged. "And I thought it was strange that I couldn't move on, so I wanted to see you again to sort things out, and that's the answer I've got… I just couldn't part ways another time without being honest with myself and with you, for once. I just needed you to know, that I missed you."
"Why do you want me to know that" you finally answered in a monotone, your voice muffled by his body against yours, and Jooheon adjusted his arms around your frame so that you could properly speak.
Your breath on the material of his clothes still sprawled ticklish sensations all over his skin like ants going down his limbs, and he almost hissed at the flustering sensation.
"Because I'm tired of thinking about you with regrets filling my mind" he finally straightened himself to gaze properly at you in the eyes, his arms still resting loosely on your body. "I know I told you not to wait for me, I hope you didn't… And I don't know who that man is to you… But I'll have to try my best to listen to this raging dude if I want to be proud of myself one day"
He patted the left part of his chest, releasing your shoulders from his hold, and it immediately felt cold. You had missed him too; your colleagues could testify. And for a long while, you had wished for this moment to happen, him coming back to get you with eyes full of regrets and apologies as he'd have realized that he liked you back and that it was worth the try.
The overwhelming sensations you went through at the listening of his speech suddenly spilled through the edge of your fingers that hurried themselves up his shoulders, to his neck, before they reached his face, and pulled him into a kiss. A long, insistent, needy press of your lips against his ; the only way to put an end to his confusing rent and to your panicked thoughts plaguing your mind.
You had been dying to kiss him since the first time you had met him in the club, and after your last one, just while thinking of him ; now that you were doing it again, it seemed that you'd never get enough of him, never enough to fill in the void he had left up 'til now.
When his lips started moving against yours to kiss you back again and again with the same need, upgrading to another rhythm, Jooheon felt like he was getting dangerously closer and closer to abandoning himself to his euphoria again, so he forced himself to pull back, leaving you with your eyes closed.
"I like you, Y/N" he breathed out. "I like you, but I want to take it easy. I've hurt you."
You finally grasped what had happened, what your body had decided to do on its own, how your bottled feelings for him or maybe the powers of the law had taken over your faculty to think rationally or even control yourself ; and that was when Kihyun's words from three months ago resounded with the most power into your eardrums.
"You know, when you date your ideal, you almost forget how it actually feels to love at first. I swear, the sensations you get almost turn into a drug, something you can never get enough of! You immediately love the person without even knowing him or her, and you're in such a bliss, in such an awe, that you can't even distinguish what your real emotions are anymore. It took me a break with my girlfriend to look back on what I feel, what I love in her, and to miss her but because my heart felt empty, not my entire self."
Burning with your desire for him, craving for his touch when he had barely hugged you, kissing him with a despair you hadn't been able to contain, wishing for it to never stop and only seeing and feeling him ; all the emotions crashing down on your being were too much to handle at once, so much that you got scared of yourself.
All along, you had been sure that you liked – no, loved him, and that the empty feeling you had gone under painfully could be explained by the power of love before the one of the law. However, right now, you couldn't decipher where the origin of your rushed, needy actions and of your emotions lingered : was it really from your heart that pounded in your chest as its fluttering was finally reciprocated? Or from the law that had made you fall for Jooheon in the first place and now stimulated your body to the point that it felt like you weren't mastering it anymore, because it was satisfying its purpose?
You were suddenly terrified of what Jooheon actually made you feel, instead of enjoying the bliss they all had talked about ; when his feelings were genuine as he wasn't tied to you by the law, the intensity of your excitement shone the confusion Kihyun had talked to you about in your blurred spirit. You needed to tame and sort these new emotions out, before you'd get pervasive and lose yourself and him a second time.
"I-I'm sorry" you only managed to stammer as you pushed his hands away from you, before taking a step back, then another one.
"Y/N, wait let's-"
"You needed time, now I need mine" you cut him as you were getting closer and closer to the building. "I was only wishing for this to happen, but… I-I don't know what I'm feeling right now I need to go"
"Wait just stay let's talk it out I have so much to-"
"I'm sorry, I don't know what's wrong with me but I just can't be with you any longer" you finally sobbed your frustration out and without looking at him, your eyes glued to the pavement where you had searched for your sanity in vain, you turned around and disappeared behind the glass doors.
Jooheon clutched a hand at his heart beating way too loud for him to think clearly, the palm of his left one burning after your passionate kiss. And for the second time, he had to watch you walk away without having the chance to hold you back into another moment where the blooming of an "us" was waiting for the both of you to water it at the same time.
*
*
*
A/N : thank you again for having read it up ‘til now, I’m doing my best to continue writing the ending part through my schedule!
#monsta x#jooheon#joohoney#monsta x jooheon#jooheon scenarios#monsta x scenarios#monsta x imagines#jooheon scenario#jooheon imagine#jooheon fanfiction#jooheon fanfic#jooheon angst#jooheon fluff#kpop scenarios#shownu#wonho#minhyuk#kihyun#hyungwon#changkyun
52 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
a-yasu
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
occultwhores
Occult Whores
howtotransfolk-blog
How To Transfolk
tmntfixationxreader
XReader hyperfixation zone
gus-the-goldfish
To a great mind, nothing is little.