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ultralightpoe · 2 years

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Salt the Earth Behind You- Aemond Targaryen

Authors Note: I’m back with another Aemond fic. MY REQUESTS ARE OPEN AND THE AEMOND TAGLIST IS STILL OPEN SO LET ME KNOW! ENJOY!

Warnings: heavy language, angst, reader is engaged to an old man sadly.

Word Count: 4052 (Yeahhhh. Buckle in Bitches)

Description: Friendships ruined in moments of anger.

Part Two : And Let The Blood Bind You

Salt the earth behind you: To poison any future

The soft mud of the earth below the carriage swallows your shoe as you step down from the exit, using your betrothed’s hand as leverage to not fall. This would already be embarrassing enough, you did not need to walk into the throne room caked in mud.

Verlain Stark, cousin to Cregan Stark, flashed you a wide smile as he helped you. His hand gripped yours for a second too long before you felt yourself snatching it back, doing your best to keep the easy smile you had glued to your face since the start of the engagement.

The man was well over the age of suitor you wanted, three times your own age, but it had been set up by your father. A way to unite his land with the Starks and a way to get rid of his plain daughter all in one go. Who was anyone kidding? Verlain was the only man who would want your hand and you were lucky he could barely see.

“I must say, I find it odd that my betrothed and I have to come all the way down here just for the queens approval.” He smiles, leaning in so that you may smell the fresh stench of overly boozed vomit on his breath. “Never had to do that with my first 3 wives.”

That’s right, Verlain Stark had outlived 3 wives, a surprising feat considering each time he married the younger they got. The first died in childbirth, the babe a stillborn. The second wife jumped from her window. The third…. Well the third had her throat split open in the dead of night. She too was pregnant.

“Lady Alicent was very protective of me in my time here, I am very thankful for her care.” You say softly, the collar of your dress digging into your throat. The dresses in Winterfell were far from comfortable and refused to show any skin.

It was true, you were thankful for your time at the Red Keep, you just wished it hadn’t ended in such heartbreak for you.

You had been taken in as Queen Alicents ward, out of the kindness of her heart after your dear mother passed away in childbirth, your father having no idea what to do with you.

The day you landed in Kings Landing you had been so nervous, clinging to your fathers hand as he pushed you off. You were scared and everyone was staring at you like you were a freak.

“Aw. This must be the dearest Y/n….” The Queen gushes, reaching for you softly. “Come little one, you must meet my children. I have a son a year older than you.”

Within an instant you were surrounded by a group of gorgeous white haired children, all circling you. “Children, this is Lady Y/n. She is to be taken in as my ward. Aegon! Hands off!”

The tallest of the three snatches his hand back with an eye roll, sauntering off. The girl barely says a word before going back to her insects. That left the shorter boy, standing there with his hands behind his back, waiting for his mother to introduce him patiently.

“Y/n, this is my youngest…. Aemond.” She smiles, leaving to discuss some matters with your father. You stood as straight as possible, afraid to make the wrong move and anger someone.

“You can breathe you know,” The boy chuckles, imitating a deep breath in to make you imitate it.

“You’re a Targaryen.” You say softly, desperate to start a conversation only to feel like a fool the second the words fall from your lips. “I mean, that was blatant, everyone knows that. I apologize for stating the obvious, my prince.”

“I don’t have a dragon if that is what you meant.” He sneers, eyes narrowing.

“What does it matter if you have a dragon?” You ask, hands clenched together in anxiety. “I…I apologize if I have offended you..”

You picked up your skirts and rush to your maid as quick as possible, desperate for the comfort of someone you knew.

“Come, Lady Y/n.” Verlain calls, getting one of his men to shove you forward as you had been stuck in your head. “Your father is quite persistent on seeing you before our meeting with the King and Queen.”

You nod and turn to your maid, who had been glaring at the soldier that shoved you forward in your honor, she instantly grabs your arm and leads you to where your old rooms had been while you stayed here some time ago.

“You must stop biting your lip Lady Y/n,” She whispers as you blush. “It is unseemly for a lady to bleed. The lord should think you disgusting.”

You fight the urge to roll your eyes at that, heavens above you seem disgusting to that old man.

You’re caught off guard by a feeling on the back of your neck, your spine going tense. “He’s here….”

It had been an odd gift, the ability to sense whenever Aemond Targaryen was near you, but it had come in handy.

“Who is, my lady?” Your maid leans forward as you snatch her hand and drag her away from the courtyard, desperate to escape him.

Aemond seemed to not care that you offended him on your first meeting, for he soon became your best friend.

You spent every afternoon together after that first day. You would listen about his day at the dragonpit, listen to him talk about all the different sorts of dragons. He would bring you books, stolen from the royal library and would ask you about them constantly.

Within weeks you found yourself craving his attention, always looking for him in a crowd of people and always searching for him at parties.

“Lady Y/n!” He calls, running down the hall covered in black smoke. “I came close to a dragon today. A FULLY GROWN DRAGON!”

Your entire body was locked up with dread as Aemond barged between you and the male you had been introduced to that morning. “Prince Aem-”

You tried to stop the prince as the older man stared down at you with a glare. “Prince Aemond, this is Lord Henric….. He is meeting me as a suitor today.”

“This old man?” He snaps, eyes so wide you have to stop yourself from laughing. “No. Come on. We will be talking with my mother.”

He left no room for argument, grabbing your arm and storming off. Your maid, who had been there as a chaperone, follows closely with a shocked expression.

Once you escape the hall you tear your arm away, tears pouring from your eyes. “You fool!”

He looks taken aback for a moment before reaching for your arm once more, you take two steps back. “Aemond! I have been here for 2 years! Your mother, kind as she is, will not take me as a ward much longer.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I’m plain!” You snap. “My father says it, everyone else knows it. I am a plain and boring girl with no redeemable qualities that would help me score a match. Your mother is doing her best to obtain me a match before any of these men realize just how ugly I am and here you come ruining it!”

The anger written on his face is actually terrifying as steps closer. “You are not plain! Your father has no idea what he is speaking about! And if he were here I would carve out his tongue.”

You don’t respond, sobbing as you turn to walk away from him, hands shaking as you think on how disappointed the Queen will be once she realizes the suitor would not propose.

“Y/n.” Aemond calls desperately, chasing after you. “We will find you a suitor. Once that isn’t two steps from death. I swear it. I swear it on my grave and any future dragon I might claim.”

“Your betrothed is quite…….” You try not to laugh as your maid tries to come up with the proper term for the older man.

He had talked the entire journey, and whereas you had to pretend to be interested in an effort to keep his attention your maid was miserable. The poor chaperone.

“He is…. Talkative.” You nod, heat traveling your body as you tug at the overly warm dress. “But I can't risk another suitor mishap. This is my last chance. My father has run out of patience.”

Not that he ever had patience to begin with, he was constantly angered by his ‘plain daughter’.

“Would you like to change into a more comfortable dress, my lady?”

“No. I have none. I must wear Winterfell dresses, to show my allegiance.” You sigh, walking away from her to prepare to see your father before you face the queen.

“Aegon says you love me.” Aemond blurts one day, walking with you in the gardens. You freeze, whipping to look at him, having just been caught.

“W-what?”

“He says you look at me with a fucked out puppy eyed look.” Aemond sighs, turning to see where you had stopped walking. “What’s wrong? He only said it to me, I would never let him spill such vile accusations to another.”

You wanted to laugh at his answer, as if that was the biggest problem right now. “Prince Aemond-”

“Please don’t.” He stops you. “I cannot suffer that today Lady Y/n….”

You are embarrassed, truly. Of course he didn’t want to hear your stupid confession. He was a Targaryen and you were a plain ward. “I’m sorry, my prince.”

He nods, moving to keep walking with you through the gardens some more.

Your dress was far too tight, and the headpiece braided into your hair was way too heavy on your head, the veil swinging back and forth with every movement.

A black veil, and a grey dress. You looked like the lady death, most people would laugh but you were trying to seem interested in the Stark world. Even if the thought of living in the land of winter sounded absolutely miserable.

“You look…..decent, daughter” Your father greets, avoiding your gaze as me moves to greet your betrothed, a smile spreading onto his features.

Bile rises in your throat as embarrassment fills you. How plain and disappointing were you really?

You held onto Aemonds hand on the boat, watching Aegon and Helaena ride above you on their dragons. He grasps your hand tightly as you flinch at a wave of wind that hit you when Aegon flew too close.

“When I get a dragon you’ll have to get used to them.” He laughs, watching you swallow in worry. “You’ll be riding the dragon with me.”

“I don’t think that would be allowed, My prince.” You blush, fighting the smile threatening to unfold.

“I’m the prince. I would make it allowed.” He argues, bringing you closer. “Now read to me, take my attention off the death of my cousin.”

You opened your book once more, reading to him softly as you made your way to the funeral of Laena Velayron.

Your hands shook as you made your way to the throne room, sweat covering every inch of your body while you looked dead ahead, following your betrothed.

You felt like you were about to throw up, which would for sure ruin any chance at marriage with the Lord.

“Keep it together” You whisper to yourself, tears threatening to spill the closer you get to the throne room. “You musn’t mess this up.”

You awoke to the heavy sound of a dragon taking off, larger than Aegons or Helaenas. Jumping off your bed and running to the window, expecting to see Syrax or Caraxes you see Vhagar taking off into the clouds.

Your heart jumps through your throat, excitement to go find Aemond and tell him you had just witnessed the biggest dragon in the world take off. Slipping on your sleeping shoes and taking off through the halls of Driftmark, desperate to find Aemond.

You find him in the tunnels of Driftmark, air a mess and tunic distorted, a wild look in his eyes. It took you a moment to realize what had happened, panic clawing at your throat.

“Y/n! You will never believe -”

“Aemond….. What have you done?” You whisper, watching as his face falls.

“It’s you!” Baela snaps from behind you, the group of them shoving you aside as they face Aemond.

He watched you fall to the ground before turning to the four of them. “It’s me.”

“Vhagar is my mothers dragon!”

“Your mother’s dead.” Aemond states calmly. “And Vhagar has a new rider now.”

“She was mine to claim!”

“Then you should have claimed her! Maybe your cousins can find you a pig to ride. It would suit you.” He smirks, not bothering to make sure you got up.

Within moments the girl was running up, hitting him, to which your bestfriends snaps back harshly. Then the brawl insued.

All four of them against him, but Aemond held his own for a moment, as you tried pushing through to help. When Jace pulled the knife he slashed your hand and wrist to move you out of the way, a scream tearing through your throat as he slashed up Aemonds face.

Aemond bellowed in pain, hands flying up to his face as his blood flew. You instantly reach to help him, the blood from your hand mixing with his own as you cling to him.

Screaming for help as he tried to pull away from you.

The scar on your arm, left from the night Vhagar had been claimed, itched terribly under the fur of the dress you now wore. You fought the urge to fidget as your father introduced the courtship to the Queen, who had taken to sit on the throne instead of standing by it.

To the left of the throne stood her three children, all older in age and all still exceptionally beautiful. Aemond, now with an eyepatch and death glare, had not taken his eyes off your figure upon entering. Not that it mattered, he couldn’t see your face with the veil over it, a proper respect to your betrothed.

Alicent seemed hesitant upon looking at you, a twist in her eyebrows told her she was doing her best to see through the veil to look upon you.

“We are very grateful that Lord Verlain had asked for my daughters hand in marriage, and hope that the crown will permit it-” Your father states, kneeling with his head bowed. You were kneeling behind him, right next to the old man who seemed to have struggled getting into his knees for the Queen.

“As they permitted his first…. How many was it?” Aemond starts, a dark tone to his voice. “Three marriages?”

“Aemond.” The queen corrects him, casting a look to where he stood.

“I’ve never actually had to come and get permission.” Verlain laughs, still struggling in the position he was in. “I found it quite odd myself, considering my first wives weren’t so……plain. Yet this one drew the attention of the crown.”

Plain. There that word was again. The only word you’ve ever really heard to describe you…. That and the ones Aemond screamed at you that night.

“YOU DID NOTHING!” Aemond screams, shoving you slightly as your eyes well up in tears.

You had come to check on him, desperate to make sure he was okay. You hadn’t been allowed into the room as he got his stitches, sent to your rooms immediately so the family may deal with their private matters.

“Aemond….they didn’t let me in with you. I swear it.” You defend, taking a step closer, desperate to touch him. His face was swollen and red.

“That is not what I am talking about and you know it! You insufferable bitch!” He shouts and you rear back. “You let them do this to me! You are against me!”

“I’m not! Aemond I swear it!”

“I HEARD WHAT YOU SAID WHEN I WENT TO TELL YOU ABOUT VHAGAR!”

“I was shocked-”

“Then you let them do this to me!”

“I tried to stop it-”

“WHO WILL WANT ME NOW?!”

“What do you mean?”

“Who will want to marry me now?! No one is able to look at me!” He sobs and you try to contain your sobs.

“I…… I would.” You whisper, the sudden braveness shocking you.

“I’m sorry?”

“I…. I would marry you Aemond.” You say, a little louder.

He stares at you for a moment, shock written on his features before his face molds into anger, a dry laugh escaping him. “You?......YOU?”

You take a step back, throat tightening as the tears fall freely now. Aemond is quick to notice the weakness, taking advantage.

“Is that what I’m stuck with now? The plain cunt that let them maim me?” He steps forward and you take another step back. “I’m ugly…. But even then you would not be of my standard. A lowborn, boring, fucktoy.”

You can’t hear anymore, rushing past him to run back to your rooms, sobbing aggressively.

Your maid cleans the wound, humming softly to ease your sobs as she does so. The next morning you sit by yourself on the ship, the queen and king hidden in the alcove as you are exposed to the wind of the sea surrounded by the crewman.

Aemond flies over the ship, followed by his two siblings. All the dragons roar loudly as you turn away, tears falling as you stifle the sobs.

“What a charming way to describe your future wife-” Aemond snaps, taking a quick step forward only to be stopped by the hand, who also happened to be his grandfather.

You tried not to scoff at the comment, as if he hadn’t said worse to you.

“I must say…. It has been so so long since I’ve gotten to see your face my dearest Y/n….”Alicent says softly, leaning forward. “Might you bless us by lifting your veil?”

Your shoulders tense as you nod slowly, moving to lift the veil up. Your hands shook as you pulled it back, finally coming face to face with the royal family.

You hear a soft gasp and turn to see Aemond staring at you, eye wide as his back straightens.

You whip your head away, turning back to the queen who is already staring at you.

“Y/n…..” She says softly, staring at you as you shake in fear in front of her.

“I’M SO SORRY YOUR MAJESTY!” You sob, falling to the rug beneath you, shaking from fear.

Things had been different since you got back, especially with the queen. She had been silent for 3 weeks, constantly biting at her nails and muttering about fairness.

You had avoided Aemond like the plague, every time you catch sight of him you would turn the opposite direction.His siblings would take his side so they were out of the question and everyone else at the court treated you like you were a peasant.

You were lonely, and tired.

You hadn’t spoken to anyone but your maid in awhile. Which led you to go to the queen, begging for her to let you go home. Begging.

She smiles at you, standing from the throne and coming down the steps, grabbing both sides of your face lovingly. “There you are….”

“It is an honor to see you again, your majesty.” You whisper, trying not to bite at your lip.

“It is quite a pain to have to say bye to my old ward, I’m sure you understand Lord Verlain.” She chuckles, turning to the man. “You must give me time to see more of the union before I give my blessings.”

“I understand completely, your majesty.” He snipes, his entire posture telling that he was lying.

“We shall feast with you tonight! It is settled.” She claps, walking away.

You move to help your betrothed stand, avoiding a look to the royal children as he shoves you back the second he stands. “I’m beginning to debate if you are worth it, child.”

He storms off, your father hissing at you as he chases after the man to ease the tension. You move to follow, hands clenching in fear as you imagine him calling off the engagement.

“Wait! Lady Y/n!” You hear from behind you, the sound of steps quickly following your own. “Please wait.”

You don’t turn, but you do wait, standing still as he walks up. The prince stands behind you for a moment before realizing that you would not be turning or looking up.

He bends down to meet your gaze, walking around until he was in front of you. “I must say, you have grown.”

“So have you, my prince.” You say softly, avoiding his gaze as he struggles to find it. “If you would excuse me, I should really go check on my-”

“May I escort you through a walk in the gardens?” He interrupts, jaw clenched as he holds his elbow out.

You really have no choice, to refuse the prince would be an insult. So instead of speaking, you simply nod and grab his extended elbow for him to lead you to the gardens.

You don’t say a word as you fix your veil, so that you wouldn’t have to look at him, following his lead.

“D-do….do you remember all our times in the gardens?” He asks, a nervous tone filling the air as he clears his throat.

“I do indeed, My Prince.” You state simply, jumping a little when his other hand reaches up to hold yours where it was placed in his elbow. When you go to pull away his hand grips onto yours a little tighter, interlocking your fingers with his.

“Tell me about all the books you’ve been reading.” He demands, sounding excited for a moment, waiting patiently.

“I….. I actually….. I haven’t read in some time.” You admit. “It is not suitable for a young women to waste her time-”

“Says. Who.” He snaps, stopping you from walking.

“I’m a woman now, Prince Aemond. I must, to procure a future, focus on things that would help that future.” Your voice is tense, fighting the urge to cry as you struggle to pull your hand away. But he doesn’t let you, instead pulling your hand to sit flat on his chest. “Aemond please…. Someone could think this unseemly.”

“Finally, my fucking name without that stupid title.” He laughs, reaching the hand that wasn’t holding yours up to snatch the veil off of you. “And there she is… finally.”

You stay quiet as you move to walk away, trying to escape, but he pulls you back aggressively.

“What do I have to do?” He snaps, jaw tensing. “To get you to speak to me-”

“I am speaking to you-”

“Y/n please!” He tugs you to the side, away from the chance of anyone seeing you both argue. “Please.. I haven’t seen you in years-”

“I needed to go home-”

“You avoided me after that night, I tried to talk to you but you always disappeared out of my sight-”

“I WONDER WHY AEMOND!” You scream, shoving him away. “Don’t ruin this for me.”

“Ruin what? You would have to have something to actually ruin.”

“You know what I mean.”

“Don’t do this. This is not….. He. Will. Kill. You.”

You scoff, turning to rush away but he is quick to dive in front of you. “I have known you since we were children and I know that you are not foolish enough to marry a man with THREE DEAD WIVES!”

“Stop.”

“You don’t read. You haven’t smiled. You…… You look two steps away from jumping out a tower like his second wife. And I refuse to let that happen.” He snarls, eye wild as he leans in. “I refuse to lose you like that.”

“Leave me alone Aemond.” You seethe, shoving him back. “This is my job. Remember? To be the boring little fucktoy? So. Let. Me. Be.”

You rush away from him, breathing heavy as the tears fall again, the scar on your arm burning.

Aemond watches you go, the veil he had torn away from you clutched tightly in his hand.

Should I do another part?

TAG LIST:

@Schniiipsel

@Sluttyaemond

@Lovelynerdytraveler

@Rosaryos

@Bbyhangman

@Winxschester

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#aemond targaryen imagine #aemond targaryen x reader #aemond targaryen #aemond targaryen smut #aemond targaryen angst #House of the dragon #house of the dragon x reader #house of the dragon imagine

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wooataes · 6 months

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Real Eyes, Fake Lies (Part Eight)

Pairing: soulmate!Lee Jihoon x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 6.4k

Warnings: angst, Hanahaki!au, crying, mentions of death, alcohol consumption, swearing, cringeworthy comedy, protective brothers

Summary: What do you do when you find out the one person that was created by the universe to be yours doesn’t want you back?

A/N: ITS FINALLY HERE. I dropped the ball a bit preparing myself to enjoy comeback and spend all my money on woozi photocards 🤷🏻‍♀️ the next part should be out fairly soon too, so look forward to it! 🥰

- Tae 💜🌸

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Jihoon yawns. He’s surprised at how calm the bus trip has been so far. They’re approaching hour two and so far there has only been a couple rounds of I Spy and Rock Paper Scissors that have passed down the rows, with some of the group opting to sleep for the beginning of the journey as best as they can. Ji-ah is one of those said few, her head nestled tiredly on her Not-Soulmate’s shoulder, guilt bubbling inside Jihoon’s stomach. He doesn’t have a reason to feel guilty, of course. You and him were never a thing and never have been, but he can’t shake the feeling of hurting you by flaunting the reason for your heartbreak right in front of your face.

He’s watched you for most of the drive, out of Ji-ah’s sight as she rests. You’re listening in on a conversation Soonyoung and Seokmin are having, your free hand stretched over and stroking the fur of the little white fluff ball on the seat beside you. Kkuma is happily chewing on her bone with a yellow sunflower clip holding a small tuft of her fur away from her eyes that matches your dress. You have a small unreadable smile on your face and Jihoon can’t get a read on if you’re upset or just tired. Your emotions have been sturdy almost constantly as of late, and your soulmate worries if everything is getting bottled up or if you’ve truly lost hope.

Your brother stays by his soulmate’s side as he drives, smiling and speaking to each other in hushed tones. Seungcheol’s hand rests on Jeonghan’s leg, rubbing delicate circles against his thigh absentmindedly as they talk and Jihoon can’t help but be endeared to such a simple but romantic gesture between soulmates.

“I’m just saying,” Soonyoung’s voice carries through the bus. “You have two butts. Not one.”

“And I’m just saying, you’re wrong.” Seokmin rebuts. “You don’t have two. It’s only one.”

“Stand up right now and hold your left butt in one hand and right butt in the other. TWO. TWO BUTTS.”

“Incorrect!” He barks back. “You have two butt cheeks! You have one butt hole.”

“You’re a butt hole!”

“Dear god.” You groan, leaning your head back as Seungkwan, seated directly behind you, laughs. “How much longer?”

“Y/N~,” Soonyoung sings sweetly as he peers over the back of his seat.

“Do not drag me into this, Kwon.” You shoot him a playful glare. “Last time I joined in a soulmates argument between you both, you didn’t talk to me for a week.”

“You’re still not over that?” He gasps, hand on his chest. “That was like, nearly two years ago.”

“Yeah, but you made her cry after two days of your silent treatment.” Seungcheol turns around to shoot Soonyoung a not-so-playful glare. “Watch it.”

“Oh come on,” he whined playfully, paying Seungcheol no mind as he reaches over to take your hand in his. You wince as your cheeks immediately flush, trying to ignore the feeling of longing building up inside you. “That was when I was young and stupid.” He pouts, batting his eyelashes at you as his thumbs stroke your hand.

Jihoon’s eyes focus on the delicate way Soonyoung is holding your hand and frowns. An unknown feeling settles uncomfortably in the pit of his stomach, but he refuses to acknowledge what the feeling actually could mean.

“Yah, leave her be, babe!” Seokmin swats his arm. “She is trying to sleep, and she knows the right answer is one butt - she isn’t answering because she doesn’t want to hurt your feelings.”

“That isn’t true!” Soonyoung insists, turning to you after you don’t answer him. “Is it?”

“What would you do if I say yes?” You ask, raising your eyebrow.

“I…” he pauses as he turns his head slowly, meeting the steady glare of your brother staring into his soul. He pauses for a moment before turning back to you. “I would very humbly respect your opinion and thank you for being honest with your closest, longest friend.”

Just for good measure, he leans down and presses a kiss to the top of your hand. He smiles when you let out a giggle, nodding slightly and turning back to see a nod of approval from your brother. Jihoon admires how protective Seungcheol can be over you. If he had siblings, he’d do the same thing.

“Now, will you let the girl sleep? Look at her, she’s been drifting off for the last ten minutes.” Seokmin scolds Soonyoung who concedes with a sigh, your giggles filling the bus.

Jihoon feels his tummy explode with butterflies at the sound of your laugh, the only outer thing indicating him having a reaction at all being the tips of his ears turning red.

“Get some rest, Ladybug.” Jeonghan calls out as you settle down comfortably in your seat, eyes beginning to flutter. “There’s a surprise waiting at the campsite, you’ll need your energy.”

“Mhm~.” You hum sweetly as you already feel yourself beginning to drift off, your head gently lulling to the side.

Your soulmate observes you as your arms gently wrap around yourself, curling up as comfortably as you can with the limited space you have. It only takes a few minutes for your breaths to even out, sleep taking over you. Seokmin reaches over and places a fluffy blanket that was draped over him and Soonyoung now onto you, a fond smile growing on both of their faces as you immediately snuggle into the soft material to seek out the warmth enveloping you. Jihoon is even sure he hears Soonyoung mutter a soft ‘cute’ under his breath, which sets off the new uncomfortable feeling inside him again, but just like before, he chooses to ignore it.

“They really care about her, don’t they?” Minghao whispers to Junhui, who simply nods with a smile as Jihoon watches your two closest friends taking Seungcheol’s phone to quickly take a quick photo of you sleeping soundly.

The remaining two hours of the drive were pretty uneventful in Jihoon’s eyes, maybe because he kept an eye on you resting out of the corner of his eye. He observes Seokmin reaching over to carefully take your glasses off the bridge of your nose and place them on his lap. The bus stayed hushed minus the few small conversations between soulmates. Jihoon tried not to listen out of respect for their privacy, but he couldn’t help but pick up excited whispers from Jeonghan to Seungcheol about how both he and you will love the surprise that is planned. He wouldn’t lie, he was intrigued.

As the bus pulls up on a small campground next to a large, scenic forest, Jihoon can’t help but be in awe at the view of endless trees and greenery in front of them. He tilts his head at the sight of a car already pulled up at their campsite, to which Jeonghan doesn’t seem phased about. Ji-ah yawns beside him, having been awake for roughly half an hour before the bus finally came to a stop, staying sleepily perched against her boyfriend’s shoulder and watching the scenery out the window.

Jihoon glances at you, watching as Soonyoung stands and makes his way around to where you’re sleeping, crouching and slipping the blanket off you. You immediately shiver, scrunching up your nose in discomfort before letting your eyes flutter open with a tired whine that he and the others can’t help but find adorable.

“Soonie…” you frown, sitting up and rubbing your eye with a closed fist.

“We’re here, Bug.” He smiles, taking your hand and helping you up. “Jeonghannie Hyungie wants you and Cheollie Hyungie to get off first. Come on.”

You grumble sleepily, fixing your dress with a yawn before making your way to the front of the bus with Jeonghan and Seungcheol.

“You ready for your surprise?” Jeonghan smiles brightly at you both as you nod in unison.

“Should I be scared?” Seungcheol laughs.

“I don’t think so.”

“You have that smirk on your face, Oppa.”

“What smirk?” Jeonghan tries to make his face neutral.

“The smirk you pull whenever you plan to cheat when we play board games.” You squint, trying to see through him. “I swear if you plan to leave us here for dead…”

Your comment garners some giggles and laughs from the others and a smile from your soulmate.

“Oh hush!” He laughs, reaching down and tickling your side, making you flinch with a grin. “Just step outside and look.”

“Fine, fine.” Seungcheol chuckles, turning around and opening the doors to the bus.

Your brother is the first one to step off the bus and you follow close behind him, glancing from left to right curiously.

“Wow, this place is stunning.” You grin as you take in a deep breath, letting the air of nature fill your lungs as the others all trail out of the bus, looking around at the campsite with approval.

Jihoon stands by Mingyu’s side with Ji-ah towards the front of the ground, directly behind you and Seungcheol as Wonwoo starts calculating where to place tents and where to set up the campfire.

“Woah!” A new voice cuts into the group, startling everyone. “You’re blonde!”

Everyone turns to the newcomer standing by the car at the other end of the site. He stands tall with long light brown hair, his smile bright. He almost looks like a picture perched up against his car, looking at you and your brother expectantly.

“What the fuck?” Seungcheol whispers, eyes wide as he stands dumbfoundedly glued to his spot. “Is that really you?”

“I sure hope so.” The stranger smiles back, opening up his arms wide.

“WHAT THE FUCK?!” Your squeal echoes through the forest as you break into a sprint. “JISOO-OPPA!”

“Language!” Your brother yells, reaching out to swat you, only to be a second too late as you ran.

“Woah there!” Jisoo laughs, bracing himself. “Who is this stunning young lady, and what happened to my little Goober?!”

“Oppa!” You’re sobbing now as you leap into his arms. You immediately bury your face into his shoulder as your cries muffle into the fabric of his shirt. Jisoo simply smiles, his hand reaching up to cradle the back of your head, his other arm wrapped around your waist gently.

Jihoon looks to your family. Soonyoung has a large grin on his face as Seokmin is wiping at his eyes, letting out small sniffles here and there. Seungcheol is still glued to his spot before he looks to his soulmate.

“How did you find him? It’s been years.”

“You would be surprised at how easy it is to find someone these days using modern technology, my love.” He smiles, kissing his cheek sweetly.

“I love you so much.” Seungcheol smiles, pulling his soulmate in for a sweet kiss that makes the others coo at the sight.

“Hyung?” Seungkwan asks no one in particular. “Sorry, but who is that?”

“Jisoo, or Joshua, is Cheol-hyung’s childhood friend.” Soonyoung turns to the younger man. “When their mother passed and had to move in with us, they didn’t get the chance to keep in contact. Y/N tried to look for years for Jisoo for Cheol-hyung. I can’t believe Jeonghannie-hyung found him.”

Jisoo keeps his grip tight on you, his own tears glistening delicately in his eyes as he finally glances at his childhood best friend. He opens his arm out, which triggers Seungcheol to finally rush forward, trapping you between both men in a tight hug. Your sobs have grown quieter now as you squeeze him tight, your soulmate doing the best he can to keep his own emotions intact as yours threaten to overtake his own.

It’s weird, Jihoon thinks. It's weird feeling you cry from a positive emotion rather than a negative one. He thinks he could get used to that feeling.

“What are you doing here?” Your voice is small and almost shy as you lift your head from Jisoo’s shoulder. He lets out a laugh at the sight of your blotchy cheeks and now puffy red eyes, reaching out and wiping the leftover tears.

“A few weeks ago I got contacted by Jeonghan to ask if I remember two siblings who I grew up with and if I wanted to help him surprise you both.” He smiles down at you, still keeping his arm around your waist.

“It was you?” You turn to Jeonghan, who just smirks proudly. You rush forward to him, wrapping your arms tightly around his middle. “Thank you, Oppa.”

“I know how hard you looked for him, Ladybug.” He pats your head sweetly. “Now go and catch up. We will get everything set up here.”

“Are you sure, babe?” Cheol bites his lip.

“It’s your birthday, darling. It’s fine.” He insists, smiling as he pushes you towards your brother and his friend. You give him one last smile before happily running and tucking yourself under Jisoo’s waiting arm, hugging his waist as he leads you both to a picnic table under one of the many trees.

“Wow, Hyung,” Mingyu smiles. “You’re amazing for finding him for them.”

“Nah,” Jeonghan smiles as he watches the three of you talk, Jihoon keeping his eyes on you as you talk animatedly to Jisoo. “I just love them. You would do the same thing for the ones you love, wouldn’t you?” He glances to Mingyu with a small smile of adoration. It makes Jihoon think. “Now, let’s go grab these tents and set up.”

The sun has just passed the highest peak in the sky when Jeonghan and the others have finished setting up all the sleeping arrangements for everyone, tents scattered about in the secluded camping space. Soonyoung and Seokmin have surprised everyone and brought a large blow up pool that can fit up to five people inside filled with the fluffiest pillows and blankets, planning to camp under the stars with you joining them too. Jeonghan was prepared to scold the couple for their outrageous choice of camping style and even dragging you into their shenanigans, but when he found out it was your idea he begrudgingly accepted, muttering something along the lines of the little trio of misfits being crazy.

Everyone is sitting around where the campfire will be held later in the evening, Mingyu and Junhui cooking lunch on the built-in barbecue at the site while the others relaxed. You and your brother are still close by at the picnic table with Jisoo, the conversation still not having died down since it has begun. Jihoon is sitting closest to the table with Ji-ah by his side in their camping chairs with Mingyu and Wonwoo perched on the other side, keeping the table within the circle of conversation.

You have been overcome with happiness ever since you’ve arrived and Jihoon is content. He doesn’t get many happy feelings from you, and he chooses to relish in it and enjoy the warm fuzzy feeling inside him as he hears you speak with excitement and enthusiasm.

“I still can’t believe how much you’ve grown.” Jisoo smiles, patting your head delicately.

“Well it has been nearly ten years since we’ve last seen each other.” You laugh, shrugging.

“You’re just gorgeous, I can’t believe my little Goober is all grown up!” He wails, throwing his arms around you as your loud laugh hits everyone’s ears. It’s almost a blend of Soonyoung and Seungcheol’s signature laughs that are both equally contagious.

Okay, yeah. Jihoon could get used to that.

“Yep! And I even have tattoos now, Oppa.” You smirk proudly, showing him the little Lovebug on your wrist. “I’m practically a rebel.”

“My little Y/N? A rebel? I simply won’t believe it.” He smiles. “All I remember is the sweet little girl who I used to patch up whenever she fell off her bike while her brother went to go get Eomoni, and would only smile afterwards if we sang our Eodonggie song.”

“Oh dear god.” You whine, slinking down in an attempt to hide, wincing at a nearby voice.

“Eodonggie song, you say?” Jeonghan has made his way to sit next to his soulmate, his mischievous grin returning. “I do say, Shua, please elaborate.”

“Please do not elaborate, Oppa.” You’re desperate now. “Please, I have a reputation to uphold.”

“What reputation?” Soonyoung calls out. “Just last week you and Seokmin made a skit for Theatre about a hungry villain who could only be calmed down by a hero who fed him rice.”

“Shush, you!” You point aggressively at your best friend, making Seungkwan and Hansol laugh.

“That was you?!” Minghao chimes in. “I heard from Haechan that you both really made fools of yourselves.”

“Anything for the ‘gram.” Seokmin slips on a pair of sunglasses, leaning back in his chair.

“But you didn’t even film it, Hyung…” Chan mumbles, the joke going directly over his head.

“I can’t stand you.” You deadpan to Seokmin, who only shrugs.

“It’s a good thing you’re sitting, babe.” Seokmin retorts, only making Wonwoo and the others start giggling when you mouth what Seokmin says as he says it. “Yah you little..” he hisses playfully as you smirk. Jihoon smiles a little.

“There is a reason why these three get along a little too well,” Seungcheol laughs. “They’re all practically the same person.”

“We’re getting off track here,” Jeonghan nudges his soulmate again. “Eodonggie?”

“Ah!” Jisoo smiles. “Y/N used to have this little toy when we were little. It was a yellow bunny that wore a cute little outfit with green pants and a blue plaid shirt. He was pretty ugly, to be honest.”

“Hey!” You smack his arm. “Don’t be mean about my boy!”

“I’m sorry, Goob.” He grins down at you. “The main striking point of this bunny was his cheeks. They were big and round and Y/N used to think it looked like a bum. So, Cheol and I named him Eodonggie and created a little song and made him dance. Whenever she was sad, we would make Eodonggie dance. Would work like a charm every time.”

“That is so sweet!” Ji-ah coos, smiling sweetly as you nod your head enthusiastically at her.

“When we moved in with Soonyoungie’s family, we lost him.” Seungcheol frowns. “Y/N was crushed.”

“Yah, I was not.” You jutt your bottom lip out, cheeks heating up. “I was eleven by then, I had better coping skills by then.”

“Sure you did, Bug.” Your brother smiles, but you keep pouting.

“Oh,” Jisoo looks disappointed. “Did you want me to keep this then, if you’ve grown out of it?”

He pulls the small plush toy from his bag. It looked tatted and worn, but the bum on his face was noticeable.

“EODONGGIE?!” Your eyes widened as you looked up at the man. “Y-you found him?!”

“It was the last thing I had of you both, I couldn’t just throw him away. But if you don’t want-”

Before he can finish his sentence, you’re making grabby hands at the toy, the others laughing heartily as he places it in your hands. You excitedly hug the toy to your chest, cheek resting lovingly on the top of his yellow head. Seungkwan coos sweetly with Mingyu as they watch on with the others.

Jihoon keeps his eyes on you as he watches how delicately and lovingly you hold the little bunny, holding it in front of you as you examine it closely.

“You gave him brain surgery.” Your voice is soft as your finger runs over the top of his head which sported a different coloured thread haphazardly stitched in to keep the fabric intact.

“I had to.” Jisoo nudges your side. “Had to make sure that his brain was full of his memories of you.”

“Oh dear god you’re so corny.” You let out a watery laugh, hugging his side. “Thank you, Oppa. Really.”

“You’re welcome, Goober.” He ruffles your hair with an adoring smile as you quickly climb off the bench, turning around and running towards your two best friends to show them the toy. A few of the others come up to you as you start explaining Eodonggie’s, as you call it, origin story to them. Jihoon stays back with Wonwoo, Junhui and Minghao as you explain to the quote unquote ‘maknae’s’ of the group. He glances over to where your brother still sits with his soulmate and childhood best friend, watching you surrounded by your friends.

“She really has grown up so well.” Jisoo’s voice is quiet.

“She has.” Jeonghan agrees.

“Why am I emotional?” Jisoo laughs.

“Don’t worry, I get that way sometimes too.” Seungcheol is smiling.

“I’m so proud of her. She’s been through way too much.”

“She is incredible.” Seungcheol agrees as they watch you, not knowing that your soulmate was watching too.

He watches your smile the most as you make the toy dance, seemingly recreating the famous Eodonggie dance that Jisoo and Seungcheol made for you. There’s a small smile growing on his face, your happiness literally contagious as it runs through him. Jeonghan watches Jihoon curiously, a focussed frown on his face.

“Are we there yet?” Seokmin whines, leaning against your back as you walk steadily uphill, following your brother and your friends.

“If you were going to complain the whole time, I would’ve made you stay back at the campsite and have the tea ceremony with Minghao, Junhui and Ji-ah.” You grumble, pushing the sweaty man off you.

The sun is beginning to set in the sky, the bright blue of the sky darkening ever-so slightly as you and a few select friends who decided to join you hike up to the top of the nearby mountain to watch it set. You were near the back of the group, holding the leash of Kkuma as she happily climbed up the mountain with you. Jihoon stays at the back with Wonwoo, both men keeping an eye on everyone and making sure nobody gets left behind.

“But I have severe FOMO.” Seokmin drawls.

“FOMO?” Jisoo turns his head to look back at you.

“Fear Of Missing Out.” Seungcheol and Jeonghan sigh at the same time.

“He learnt this word last week and won’t stop bringing it up.” Seungkwan groans, rubbing at his temple.

“You’re just not cool and swaggy like me.” He sticks his tongue out at the younger boy.

“You can stop complaining, babe!” Soonyoung yells from the front of the group, happily jumping from side to side. “We made it!”

Jihoon is the last one to make it to the top, standing at the back of the viewing deck at the top of the mountain, watching you as your eyes wide and sparkling as you take in the breathtaking view.

For as far as the eye can see, the eternal sky doesn’t have a single cloud littering the view. Leading down from the observation deck is a sea of green, the trees from the forest making the sky pop. In the far distance, you can see a cable car leading down into the large city of Busan, and Jihoon smiles as he sees his home town.

“Wow.” You breathe out, staring at the sky as the colours begin to change right in front of your eyes.

“This is incredible!” Chan yells happily, taking out his phone to snap photos with the others.

The other men are taking photos of each other, some making silly poses for their camera rolls, others taking cute couple photos with cheek kisses and hugs galore. Jihoon simply stands to the side, looking at the orangey pink sky with a smile before he spots you moving.

You make your way over to your brother, hugging around his middle as you both look out to the setting sun, head leaning against his shoulder. Jisoo and Jeonghan stand behind you both, giving you the space you need. Jeonghan pulls out your Polaroid camera, snapping a quick photo of you and your brother embracing in front of the sunset, a smile content on his face.

“Hi, Eomma.” Your voice is barely above a whisper, but Jihoon winces as he hears it clear as day.

“She looks good tonight, doesn’t she?” Seungcheol rubs your shoulder as he glances down at you with a gentle smile.

“She’s only putting it on for you, Oppa.” You bump your hip against his. “You were always the golden child, of course she’d show off when you were looking.”

“Yah!” He barks as you laugh heartily, raising both of your hands in defense.

“I’m kidding, I’m kidding!” You giggle as Soonyoung and Seokmin make their way over to you.

“Wonwoo-yah,” Soonyoung smiles sweetly to him. “Could you pretty please take a quick family photo of us?”

“Mhm~.” Wonwoo hums, smiling as Jeonghan makes his way to your brother’s side. You scoop up Kkuma in your arms, holding her close as your best friend and his soulmate shuffle in close.

“Say kimchi!” Seungkwan shouts as you all smile, Wonwoo snapping the picture as Jisoo takes a photo from the Polaroid camera Jeonghan had passed to him.

“Beautiful!” Mingyu grins before placing his phone down on a rock. “Quick, everyone in for the next one!”

“What?” Jihoon’s eyes widen as his wrist gets grabbed by Seungkwan, dragging him into the group, Hansol doing the same to Wonwoo and Chan grabbing Jisoo.

“Smile!” Mingyu coos sweetly as you all pose.

Jihoon simply smiles and throws up a peace sign out of pure habit, being used to Soonyoung’s random photo shoots he used to make him do in middle school, cheeks bright red. Luckily for him, the focal point was not the people posing but the sunset behind them, and Jihoon felt relieved for that fact.

“You guys go on back down whenever you’re ready.” You speak quietly after fifteen minutes of watching the sky. “I want to stay here a bit longer and take a few more pictures.”

“We can stay here too, Bug.” Seungcheol insists, Soonyoung nodding aggressively beside him.

“Junhui would have dinner being made by now, Oppa,” you hum, looking up at him. “The hike is only nearly half an hour, I’ll be fine.”

“I’m not gonna leave my little sister up here on her own.”

“You go down, Cheollie.” Jisoo smiles, hand on his shoulder. “I can walk her back down. You go down and we’ll be down once the sun is nearly gone.”

“Are you sure?” He asks nervously.

“Positive. Don’t worry, she’ll be fine.” He pats him on the back.

“I’d like to stay up here for a bit too.” Wonwoo smiles. “Take a couple more photos and that. We’ll go back together.”

“I’ll stay too.” Jihoon speaks up, and he blushes when you look at him in surprise. He doesn’t look your way, though. “Home looks good from here. Want to look at it a bit more.”

“See?” Jisoo grins. “She has a whole protection squad to bring her back down. You guys go ahead and we’ll be back soon.”

After a beat of silence, he sighs. “Fine. But if you’re not back by dark, I’m calling a search party.”

“Okay, Dad.” You roll your eyes playfully as he kisses your forehead.

“See you soon.” He hugs you quickly before everyone turns and starts making their way down the mountain.

Once they’re out of sight, you sigh slightly and sit down on the park bench by the viewing deck, taking a few photos on your Polaroid camera as Jisoo sits beside you, Wonwoo and Jihoon standing a few meters away as they both lean on the rails.

“Penny for your thoughts, Goober?” Jihoon hears Jisoo speak. “You seem pretty glum over here.”

“I’m fine.” You frown slightly. “Everything is fine and perfect. I have you back, my brother is having a great birthday trip so far, my family and friends are happy. Why wouldn’t I be happy?” You don’t look up at him.

“Hmm..” he hums slowly. “That’s true, but you didn’t mention yourself in that sentence.”

“I’m all good.”

“If that’s true, then why do you look so broken?”

You pause. Jihoon feels the pain in your stomach begin to rise as you continue to speak to your long lost friend.

“I have no reason to be broken.” You insist, eyebrows furrowing. “I am living a good life. I have a job I love, friends and family who care about me, I can see colour…” your voice teeters off. “I’d be selfish if I was sad, Oppa.”

Jihoon can feel the tears brimming in his eyes at how quiet and tired you sound, teeth sinking into his bottom lip.

“Y/N…” Jisoo sighs. “You lost your parents in one fell swoop, you and your brother had to be raised by your best friend’s parents while your trash ass father left without a care in the world. And on top of that, Cheol told me that you found the one person who was made for you in this fucked up world and they didn’t want you back.” You wince, a tear rolling down your cheek. Jisoo reaches forward to gently wipe it away. “You have had way too much heartbreak for a girl your age. You’re allowed to be selfish for a little while.”

“I can’t.” You hiccup, shaking your head. “Not now, at least. Not when this weekend is all for Cheol.”

“I’m sure he wouldn’t be upset if you needed a bit more time to heal.” He reaches over and hugs you to his side, rubbing your back.

“Not right now.” You sniffle, quickly reaching up and wiping at your eyes. “Plus, my soulmate is happy. That’s all I care about, Oppa.”

“What about your happiness?” He frowns.

“They’re happy, I’m happy. That’s kinda Soulmate 101. I can feel what he’s feeling, remember?”

“If you’re sure…”

“I am. Trust me.”

You think you’re being quiet. And to your credit, you are. Jihoon is purposely straining his ears to be able to hear what you’re saying to Jisoo, and with every new thing you say, the more Jihoon knows that he doesn’t deserve you - as a soulmate or as a friend.

“Come on.” Jisoo takes a deep breath, rising from his spot. “It’s getting darker. We better go or else Cheol will have my head.”

“Yeah..” you sigh softly before grabbing your things. “Wonwoo-Oppa?” You call out, snapping Jihoon out of his thoughts as he and his housemate both look over to you. “Are you ready to go?”

“Yep, give me a minute.” He smiles at you, Jisoo taking your hand and leading you to the entry of the observation deck. Once you’re a safe distance away, Wonwoo turns to your soulmate. “You okay, Jihoon-ah?”

“Hm? Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?” He responds a little too quickly. Wonwoo just stares at his housemate for a moment before nodding.

“Okay. But if there’s something going on, you know you can tell me, right?”

“Yeah, I know.” He hums. “Let’s go, we better catch up.”

Before Wonwoo can answer, Jihoon rushes to catch up with you and Jisoo, Wonwoo sighing and following a beat behind.

“What made you so late?!” A strained voice bellows as you make your way back to the campsite. You pause in your steps, which makes the trio behind you stop as well.

“What the..” you mumble, stepping closer.

“You didn’t pay~” another strained voice responds.

“Oh no.” You groan, reaching up and covering your face.

“What is it?” Jisoo asks quietly, Wonwoo and Jihoon stifling giggles.

“It’s the chaotic duo.” Wonwoo smiles.

“Who?”

“You‘ll see.”

You all round the corner to see Seokmin and Soonyoung standing in front of the table, hunched over and squinting their eyes. The others are seated in a semi-circle around them, either keeping their heads down or burying their faces into their hands.

“Halmo, can I get some doenjjang-jiggae please!” Seokmin says to Soonyoung.

“They’re playing the Don’t Laugh game.” You shake your head as Jisoo stared blankly at the scene unfolding.

“Hey.. you should pay.”

“Excuse me halmo! Can I please get doenjjang-jiggae!”

“He’s crying.” Mingyu can barely breathe as he looks at Hansol, staring pointedly at the ground.

“Vernonnie???” Soonyoung struts over and bends all the way down to look directly at Hansol. “You should pay!”

Jihoon glances to you as he sees your shoulders shaking, small giggles leaving your lips as no one spots you just yet.

“HEY HALMO!” Seokmin makes his way over to Soonyoung.

Seungkwan is holding his breath as he watches the soulmates. “Someone is going to laugh here…”

“Watch this.” You mumble to Jisoo before turning around.

“Aigoo, grannies, please stop!” You muster your best old man voice as you make your way to your friends.

Almost immediately the whole group bursts out laughing, Seokmin and Seungkwan falling to the ground and Soonyoung throwing his head back with laughter.

Jihoon feels himself start to grin along with the others, feeling your giggles rise within him.

“You made it back safe, I see!” Seungcheol breaks the giggle fest, smiling as he hugs you.

“Yep, and in one piece, would you believe?” You raised your eyebrow with a smile.

“I wouldn’t believe it if I didn’t see it myself.” He ruffled your hair, making you whine and shove him. “Go and get a plate, Junhui’s just finished cooking.

“I will in a sec, I need to go to the bathrooms.”

“Y/N?” Jihoon’s girlfriend stood near you as you spoke. “Sorry… I don’t want to be a bother but can I come with you to the bathrooms?”

“Hm?” You turn to Ji-ah, Jihoon’s eyes wide as he watches you both speak. “Yeah, that’s fine.” You smile at her.

There’s no point being rude to her, you think. She didn’t do anything wrong. And you don’t think you could purposely be mean if you tried. Seungcheol says it’s one of your worst faults.

“Oh, thank you!” She smiles as she steps to you, and you offer to link arms with her. Your smile is soft and genuine, and Jihoon hates himself even more at your pure kindness. Ji-ah links her arm with yours as you walk together to the bathrooms.

“Go fix up a plate, guys.” Seungcheol smiles at Jihoon, Wonwoo and Jisoo. “There’s plenty to go around!” He pats Jisoo on the back as they walk to the table together, Jihoon watching his soulmate and his girlfriend walk away together.

“Thank you again for inviting me on this trip, Y/N,” Ji-ah smiles at you.

“Really, it’s no problem at all.” You smile back as you walk to the building a small distance away.

“Are you sure? I mean, your brother barely knows me and I feel bad sort of… hijacking?”

“Oh please,” you giggle. “It’s so fine. Oppa knows Jihoon-ssi through Soonie, snd by default, soulmates are invited.” The last part slips past your lips before your brain and comprehend what just came out of your mouth.

“Oh,” she laughs, tucking a stray hair behind her ear. “Hoon-ah isn’t actually my soulmate.”

You act surprised. “What?” You gasp. Thank god for your acting skills. “Really?”

“Yeah..” she laughs awkwardly. “I mean, he’s a great guy and all which is obviously why we are dating… but yeah.. I already have a soulmate. He moved away when I was still in middle school and haven’t seen him again since.”

“Oh…” you trail off slowly.

“Oh god.” Ji-ah’s eyes widen. “I-I’m so sorry!” She looks at you worriedly. “I didn’t want to bring up bad memories of your parents because I’m doing the same thing your fathe-”

“Oh, no,” you pat her arm. “Really, don’t stress.” You smile reassuringly. “I won’t judge. Honest.”

“And it’s not forever with Jihoon anyway,” she keeps babbling like word vomit. “We both made a pact that as soon as my soulmate comes back or if he finds his, we’d break this whole thing off!”

“Ji-ah,” you assure her. “It’s…” your brain catches up with her words and you feel the pit in your stomach begin to form. “A pact?”

Ji-ah’s words start running through your head as the realization sets in. Her words begin to drown out as you realize what she’s saying. They were never a forever thing. As soon as her soulmate found her again, or if Jihoon were to find his soulmate, they’d be with their person.

But Jihoon knew who his soulmate was. He knows who it was and he still chose to break the pact to keep Ji-ah.

Fuck. That stung.

You weren’t even good enough to have even after Jihoon went through his whole relationship with Ji-ah with the sole end game being to be with his soulmate.

You blink after your eyes focus once again to a frantic Ji-ah.

“Hey,” you take her arm. “It’s alright, really. You’re your own person that makes your own choices. I’m not going to treat you like crap just because it’s something my father did.” You force a smile now. Every word you spoke felt like your throat was being stabbed.

It hurt to lie.

“Are you sure?” She asks nervously and you nod with a little smile.

“Positive.”

Jihoon lifts his head from his lap as he spots you and Ji-ah walking back to the site. He had felt a sharp pain in his chest five minutes ago, and he hasn’t been able to sit still since. When he sees you and his girlfriend walking back towards them, he keeps a close eye on you. Your eyes stay focused on your feet as you march your way to your brother.

“I made you a plate, Bug!” Cheol smiles, patting the spot between him and Jisoo for you.

“Not hungry.” You mumble, your hair shielding your face as you reach for a bottle of soju in the middle of the table.

Jihoon watches your brother, his soulmate, and your best friend all look between each other with wide eyes. You twist the top of the bottle open, taking a swift swig of the alcoholic drink before leaning against your brother's side in silence.

He feels nothing. He hasn’t felt anything from you since the sharp pain in his chest moments ago, and now he’s worried. You refuse to make eye contact with anyone at the table around you, taking another sip of your soju as Jisoo’s hand rubs at your back absentmindedly, looking at Seungcheol for an explanation.

Jihoon rises from his seat as Ji-ah has stopped to talk to Mingyu about something, turning around and walking to a small clearing in the forest to clear his head. It almost feels clogged, riddled with hundreds of questions and endless scenarios playing all at once. He winces and rubs at his temples before jumping at the sound of a twig snapping behind him, not realizing he had been followed.

His eyes widen in surprise as he sees Jeonghan standing in front of him, a deep frown on his face and arms crossed. He is glaring at your soulmate with a scowl.

“It’s you, isn’t it?”

Real Eyes, Fake Lies Taglist:

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#seventeen angst #seventeen fanfic #seventeen x reader #lee jihoon x reader #woozi angst #woozi x reader #Lee Jihoon angst #woozi fluff #seventeen fluff #woozi au #woozi fanfic #seventeen woozi

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stxrvel · 3 months

Text

i don't wanna live forever (5)

summary: the time had come to destroy HYDRA and collect for all that had been taken from them...

pairing: bucky barnes x f!reader

words: 6k

warnings: descriptions of: blood, wounds, fights and weapons. probably gonna wake a lot of sadness since the begining. mentiones of suicide thoughts. heartbreak. stubborn characters. mentions of character deaths (canon). remember i'm not that good at writing action scenes and that English is not my first language!

note: hi guys! i didn't rest today at work. instead, i wrote 6k words for my actual hyperfixation and i'm actually exhausted. sometimes i write first in spanish and then in english, when my head is not up for the double translate, and leave the conversion to future me. this is future me talking and i hate myself for that. but i'm kind of proud how this one came out, so i hope you guys like it the same! feedback and reactions are always appreciated! see u guys next time <3

part 1

It was already getting dark when the small cellar you were in with your friends filled with applause and singing, a joy bouncing off the walls as you walked in Steve's direction with a grin from ear to ear. Your blond friend watched the small cake Peggy had gotten him that afternoon head towards him between your hands, setting it down on an upturned wooden barrel, a little damp, that they would use as a table.

Peggy and Bucky were off to the side, their faces matching your excitement as Steve reached down and shook his head.

“I don't even want to imagine how you got that cake in,” was the first thing Steve said when the happy birthday song ended, shooting you a grateful look. His eyes sparkled like you hadn't seen in many days and you felt Peggy's squeeze on your forearm as she came over to form a little circle just like Bucky.

“Trust me, you don't want to know,” Peggy shook her head, her smile matching the blond's.

You watched Steve split a piece of the cake with a spoon you had no idea where Peggy had gotten it from, your friend bursting out laughing when Steve raised his head and she smeared white cream all over his nose. At that moment you felt Bucky's body heat behind you, all your senses turning on at once.

“No candle, but you can make a wish before you take the first bite.”

Steve shared a look with his friend, still with that twinkle in his eye and the most relaxed expression he'd had in days. He was still wearing his uniform, having caught him by surprise to bring him into the warehouse after a long day of planning strategies for the next mission against HYDRA. You and Peggy had been thinking for several days about doing something, and being that it was rather difficult to throw a small party in the camp you were in, you decided to opt for something a little more ordinary and familiar. You couldn't say, however, that Steve didn't like it, not when you saw him smiling at everyone so openly, shoulders down and spreading laughter to everyone around him.

With the spoon halfway to his mouth, Steve closed his eyes and made a wish.

You smiled indulgently, watching two of your friends share a small moment as Steve took some more cake to give Peggy. With your hands behind your back, you suddenly felt Bucky's left hand make its way through your fingers, intertwining your hands very carefully.

“How's the taste?”

Steve shook his head nodding at your words, his brow furrowing in pleasure as he enjoyed the large bites he was taking of the cake. At that moment, all you could think about was how much you would sacrifice to stay in that bubble forever, even without knowing what was coming next.

“Are you okay?”

You heard his footsteps before you saw him, his body leaning against the second to last step where you had sat and turned away from the others. The routine you had had to get used to over the past few months, after believing you were going to change the world, had become a constant burden that was hard to shake off. Still, you took and cherished moments like those when you could go out and sit and just watch the vast sky stretching for miles. The stars shone so brightly there, in the middle of the forest, that they seemed like little beacons seeking to guide you to a better future; perhaps to a future that you did deserve. Steve also sometimes accompanied you in silence, having learned that he couldn't always argue with you about the meaning of life and the purpose for which you two had to carry out the unjust orders of superiors. You once saw one of his drawings, a woman sitting at the top of a flight of stairs and a starry night giving her a message of hope. Maybe he saw it the same way too after a while.

“Yeah,” you replied to Bucky with a tight-lipped little smile.

Bucky didn't know much about you now. As the weeks went by you realized it was true what he had once told you, when the America's couple shows and his platoon's stay coincided for the first time in months. You had changed a lot since the serum injection. And, well, who wouldn't, after all? That's why when you were together after so long he spent time very close to you, very aware of you, checking with his excellent senses that nothing was out of place. That you were okay.

You didn't know if he had believed you, by the way his face remained expressionless, barely a slight twitch of his eyebrows, but he didn't repeat the question.

“Do you think there's anything else for us, besides this?”

Bucky turned his gaze to look at the sky and you watched his profile, the curve of his eyelashes and his half-opened lips. Situations like that had become commonplace, too. Since you no longer spent so much time together and you had changed so much because somehow you had to adapt to the harsh reality against which you had crashed, Bucky constantly wondered many things about life that ended up being his own fears materialized in existential crises. For him his world was shaking. Since you told him that you had been invited to the Super Soldier project with Steve, everything had become uncertainty for him. Uncertainty about his life, about your life, about the life you wanted to have together, uncertainty about the future, uncertainty about life.

You had the conception that Bucky could never fully adapt to the abrupt change that meant his two best friends were involved in a private experiment that gave them heightened senses and more strength and speed than an average human. Now he seemed to looked at himself like the mere mortal who walked shoulder to shoulder with two gods. He seemed to feel that death would knock faster at his door and it drove him mad.

“Yeah, I don't think this is it,” you shook your head in assent, watching out of the corner of your eye as Bucky rested his forearms on his knees and leaned forward a bit. His hands interlocked and parted, his fingertips met and parted, his fists opened and closed.

“But you'll outlive me,” Bucky looked down, his blue eyes glittering focused on yours under the moonlight. You could barely hear movement in the back of the hold where Peggy and Steve were still talking. Your heart flipped at the vulnerability you saw through his eyes, lately more common than you'd like. You didn't like not being able to quell those thoughts that dominated his head; the insecurities and fears that made him doubt so many things in the middle of the night.

“We'd live the same amount of time,” you assured him shaking your head, your own mind refusing to accept that Bucky's fears could take more power over him. Whatever you could do to calm him, you would do, always.

“You have the serum. You and Steve will live for many more years. Hell, maybe you'll even be immortals,” Bucky tried to smile, but a grimace settled on his face and made his words bitter. He was subtly trying to untwist his shoulders, barely moving to your side trying not to show too much that he was kind of nervous.

“Why are you telling me that now?” you shifted on the wooden step, moving a little closer towards him. Bucky tensed visibly, not because of the closeness, but because he knew the moment was coming when you would stop following his lead and start asking him what was really plaguing his mind. For some reason, Bucky couldn't approach those topics of conversation naturally, letting his mind and words wander a bit before daring to take his fears by the horns.

“I don't know… I guess. It's a truth I have to accept,” he confessed, his voice so fragile and soft that had it not been for the extreme hearing the serum had granted you, you surely wouldn't have understood him. You felt your heart crumple and moved your hand from your lap to cradle his hands that he still could not let still.

“But it is a truth that is still a long way from being fulfilled.”

“And first we have to get through the war,” Bucky turned his hands to lace them with yours, his fingers intertwining with yours and giving them a squeeze.

“We will. I have no doubt about it. In fact, I have a plan to persuade Phillips,” you smiled at him trying to lighten the weight on his shoulders a bit.

Little surprised, Bucky let out a laugh, his free shoulders shaking in sync with his chest. A beautiful smile spread across his face, and you would've enjoyed it except you could still notice his tired eyes and the dark traces beneath them. It seemed that the moonlight intensified the reality of his emotions.

“You always have a plan for everything.”

“What can I say? I'm an optimist,” you lifted your shoulders, leaning against Bucky's side. His head dropped to rest on the crown of your head, his breathing synchronizing with yours for a moment.

“Between the two of us, you definitely are,” he murmured, taking a deep breath, enjoying the moment for several seconds. “Sorry for… coming to bring up those topics of conversation.”

“No, it's okay. I like to listen. And you tend to do that sometimes,” you shook your head over his shoulder trying to dispel the topic, Bucky's hands tightening around yours.

“What?”

“You suddenly talk about things you don't want to tell me too much about and then put a little light-hearted attitude on it so it doesn't sound so serious.”

Bucky lifted his head, causing you to move in time to meet his surprised expression as well. His lips were trying to twitch into a smile, but he didn't seem to know if he wanted to laugh or frown.

“Do I really do it that often?”

“A little, yes.”

“Ah, I'm pretty bad at dissembling I guess,” Bucky looked up, finally succumbing to the smile. The gesture satisfied you enough to delve into the emotion with him, taking a moment to further enjoy that scenario you could no longer be a part of lately; to enjoy those everyday moments where you could feel love materially spark around you, as if it was a novel written solely to satisfy human romantic desires and whims.

You shook your head, returning to the subject.

“But you don't have to worry about my supposed immortality. I know we'll live the same,” you assured him once more, your arms wrapping around his right arm and squeezing it securely, hugging him, trying to send him some of the confidence you felt inside.

“How are you so sure?”

The truth was, you weren't, but you couldn't let him know that, much less let him know that you didn't expect his life expectancy to be as extensive as yours was now either. But how were you going to tell him that? He must've been martyred enough by his own thoughts during every moment of the day when they drowned him, and it wasn't as if you expected too much of a life after him either. You could have immortality served on a silver platter, but what would be the point if you had to spend it on your own? Bucky was thinking about not wanting to leave you alone, and you were thinking about the impossibility of finding a reason to live after him.

“Because I know I don't want to live forever if I'm not with you.”

Bucky stopped his light, ghost-like caresses on your fingers. He turned his face to look at you, his nostalgic expression disappearing in a matter of seconds. His blue eyes looked contrite, as if there was a storm inside them. You had never hesitated in your answer, no matter when he had asked. And yet you seemed to have taken him by surprise; it seemed that such a thing would never have crossed his mind even by accident.

“Y/N…”

“I'd be living in vain. Stolen time,” you shook your head, averting your gaze from the depths of his, an unknown kind of longing or fear furrowing across his features that you couldn't bear to see a second longer. You were there at that moment and you would see each other again later, why did you have to think about it too much?

Bucky sighed. Only when you felt his body relax against your side did you know he understood that it would do no good for him to try to antagonize you.

“Still, you deserve a life like this. After all you've been through,” his voice was barely a whisper that tore through the silent chill that surrounded you, but the implication of his words furrowed against your chest like a dagger. You shook your head before the memories could reach you.

“We all deserve it, especially in this world consumed by the greed of power and hatred.”

You saw him nod out of the corner of your eye, his hands wrapping around one of your hands, the one closest to his side and bringing it up to his lips to kiss your knuckles. His eyes were fixed on your profile, you could feel it, but you were afraid to turn to look at him and allow your emotions to come out. You were too sweet to succumb to strong feelings when you were with Bucky.

“Hey!” was Steve's voice, like a beacon in the middle of the ocean, making you both turn at the same time. “Peggy's just leaving.”

“Want a ride, Barnes?”

“Ah, it would be my pleasure, Agent Carter.”

Peggy moved, after saying goodbye to Steve and you, and walked in the direction of the huge forest that stretched into the distance where she had parked her car. Or Howard's car, you couldn't quite make out through the darkness.

“See you later, Miss I-don't-want-to-live-forever,” Bucky approached you with a half smile, having said goodbye to Steve, meeting him halfway to melt you in his arms. The tension in your shoulders eased considerably, a sigh making its way into your chest.

“Take care, Bucky,” you squeezed his waist, because you weren't tall enough to reach his shoulders in a hug, and he squeezed you back in response.

“Sure thing. I got to see my girl again, after all.”

You laughed between the hollow of his neck and shoulder, feeling your cheeks burn. Bucky broke away just barely to look at you with his own huge grin.

“Don't overdo it, Barnes.”

“Come on!” Peggy insisted, glancing at the watch on her wrist.

You broke away from Bucky, trying to push him to get into the car with his affianced friend, but he had other plans. In the midst of your struggle to push him away, he grabbed one of your wrists, using very little force to pull you close to his chest, his lips crashing against yours in a fleeting action, but not at all rough, barely a brush. Before you knew what happened he had already pulled away from you.

“When I get back, we have a lot to talk about.”

He never came back. He left in the next couple of days for the mission on the train and all you got back was a shattered Steve, his face dirty and sticky from all the tears he'd shed, his pleading eyes crystallizing on you the moment he had to tell you that Bucky had died. You could still remember how his voice cracked as he begged your forgiveness, repeating it over and over as if it would ease the burden he felt on his shoulders, the guilt for not being able to get him in time. You never blamed Steve for what happened, but it seemed like he did for a long time.

Reliving those memories was always a constant martyrdom. After Bucky's funeral you didn't think you could move on, but carrying all his pain in a sack of rocks, Steve assured you that they would avenge the reason Bucky had died. HYDRA. So you did and were able to carry on for a while until Steve was also declared KIA.

Peggy and Howard were a great help when you realized that you couldn't die on your own, because you healed faster than normal and could spend more time than humanly possible underwater. To say that you didn't try to leave the earthly world would be a lie, but your friends tried to help you in every way they could until you had to leave the United States. When you thought you would have to spend years hiding in Europe, Howard told you that wasn't necessary. Just staying under the radar and out of the feds' jurisdiction would be fine and he would take care of it. And one day, after spending a week in the apartment you were renting without getting out of bed for almost any reason, a knock on the door startled you.

“Correspondence,” rang through the silence of the apartment.

You only got up because you knew the mailman was wrong. You had given your address to absolutely no one and there was no way any person knew of your existence in that country. You thought you took pity on the man, when he handed you the letter and it did indeed have your name on it.

It was an acceptance letter from some university. Apparently you had enrolled to study mathematics.

You had a suspicion of what was going on, but something in your chest asked you to ignore it. The letter asked for an interview before classes started in exactly three days, and after that interview you received a letter from Peggy.

When Howard died you knew you couldn't go back to Europe. Largely because you had to find out who his killer was, but also because you wanted to watch over Peggy's life as you couldn't do for your other three friends. You were often terrified for your friend's life, especially having the job she had and dealing with all those powerful people who wouldn't hesitate for the blink of an eye to order her death.

Steve was right. You stayed with Peggy to investigate Howard's death. But you also stayed because she was the only thing you had left and you had to take care of her; you had to preserve her, to do everything you could to prevent another tragic and unnecessary death. You would've sacrificed anything in life just to allow Peggy to have the life she deserved. And so you did. You cared for her for many years, you were so attentive to her that her children called you aunt and then her grandchildren called you grandma; you were at all her family gatherings, giving gifts to her children at Christmas and celebrating each new year as you watched time pass through her eyes. Every January 1st you saw it as a win, a whole year in which so much sacrifice had been worth it.

Now… well, now everything was a bit more complicated.

Natasha had left the abandoned dam first after going over the plan one last time. You were supposed to go with Steve and Sam, even though Steve was reluctant to have you near the Winter Soldier again, as if you didn't have the same strength and agility as he did. Of course, his fear was rooted in something completely different than that, something he and Natasha had discovered with Zola.

“HYDRA spent years searching for you to recreate the super-soldier serum after the war. If not for the excellent work Peggy and Howard did, they probably would've found you more easily.”

Now, having such a palpable possibility of destroying HYDRA, you didn't think there was the slightest chance that they were still thinking about it, although Natasha stressed that it seemed to be that the soldier had two different missions when he found them in the middle of the city, one of them being that he was to keep you alive. Zhivoy, you recalled bitterly. Alive.

Steve didn't want to risk finding something else waiting for them when they reached the helicarriers, something that might lead you away from him. And yes, you understood his concern because it was the same one you'd felt for years and was more latent recently since Steve returned. But you weren't going to stand by like a fucking statue while they did all the work. You would take it upon yourself to destroy HYDRA completely and deprive them of any chance they might have to get close to Steve, you or Bucky again. Whatever you had to do, you'd do it.

“He's not the same,” you had told Steve, as you walked to the Triskelion in the company of Sam and Maria.

“But he'll remember us,” Steve assured, his hand tightly gripping the strap with which he held the shield. Steve had been repeating that to himself all day, even in front of Sam. You couldn't believe you were the one trying to maintain an objective demeanor in that situation.

“Yeah, maybe at some point. But right now it's not him, Steve,” you turned to look at him, his face fixed on the expanse of water surrounding the large building he used to work for. “He's not the Bucky we knew.”

Steve looked back at you, pausing for a moment. You knew he was mindful of it, you knew Steve was aware of how dangerous he was now; that there was a good chance he really didn't remember them and you wanted to make sure that wouldn't cloud his judgment; that he would still fight for his life.

But the resolve in his eyes didn't convince you. His lack of response fanned a hollow in your chest, your hands breaking out in a cold sweat as you stared at the empty space he left in front of you.

Steve was willing to bring him back and you were afraid of losing him.

For some reason, you felt it had to be different.

You heard Steve's voice over the speakers, running so you could find the helicarriers exit before they took off. Steve and Sam were supposed to meet you halfway, but you were already halfway there, fighting off a few agents, and you still didn't hear them nearby. Your breath caught in your throat as one of the STRIKE agents grabbed you by the throat while another plunged an electric baton into your side, the sensation of volts coursing through your entire nervous system sending you into a momentary state of shock.

You dropped your hands to stop struggling with the agent behind you and grabbed the wrist holding the baton with an overly strong grip, snapping the bone in place and jerking your head to strike the face of the man behind you as his grip wobbled for a second. Both agents fell to the ground, two bones broken in less than a minute. You grabbed the baton before departing, hitting them both in the head barely using half your strength, knocking them unconscious instantly.

As you exited the Triskelion facility to meet the gap you would have to jump over to intercept the first helicarrier, you heard Steve and Sam's voices closer. Oh, right, you forgot to use the communicator.

“Where were you?” Steve exclaimed, running alongside Sam closer to the chasm.

“You've got blood on your neck,” Sam pointed out, before spreading his metal wings and flying off into the sky.

“Put on your communicator,” Steve asked you just before you both jumped at the same time, a feeling of emptiness planting itself in the pit of your stomach.

You landed with your legs bent and leaned forward for a spin before getting up and continuing to run alongside Steve. You rummaged in one of your pants pockets, praying that the small devices hadn't been shattered during the fights you had inside the Triskelion.

Only one was spared.

Steve barely sent you a reproachful glance, shaking his head, as you approached a horde of HYDRA agents. You barely finished putting the small communicator to your ear when the hail of bullets came in their direction. Steve grabbed your arm to pull you behind his shield until he managed to hide behind two large containers. The fight was immediate.

The group of agents split up and you jumped right in front of two of them, sliding on the ground to use the baton from below to disarm them. You knocked one of them out with the high volts of the baton and the other tried to stab you from behind, but you stopped his hand midway and flipped his arm over, a shriek of pain escaping him as his shoulder dislocated. The man fell to his knees and, lifting one leg, you half-turned to strike his face with your full tibia.

“Cap, I found the bad guys you were talking about,” you heard Sam's voice, noting that, although that communicator was working, the voice you perceived sounded distant.

“Are you okay?” you heard Steve, as he came closer and you stepped on the handle of the staff, lifting it in a single stroke so that it landed in your hand.

“Not dead yet.”

Steve nodded, though he knew Sam couldn't see him and gave you a questioning look.

“Works?” he pointed to your ear, starting to pace.

“A little bruised, but does the job.”

Your friend shook his head, starting to run inside the helicarrier.

“Cap?” you smirked.

“Don't start,” the blond spoke through his teeth, moving toward his target. “Report location.”

You nodded in his direction, heading for the first agents who appeared to obstruct his path, clearing Steve's way in the direction of the helicarrier hub.

When you were done with the agents and Steve was finally able to enter the control center, you turned your attention to the voices ringing through the communicator.

“Ah, shit,” was Sam's voice, and the next thing you heard was gunfire around the helicarrier next to it.

“Fine, but you're going with me. I don't want to let you out of my sight,” Steve had said a few hours before they left the dam, leaving no room for argument in his haughty voice.

“That's unnecessary, Steve. We'd waste too much time,” you shook your head, trying to match his stoic, stern expression.

“She's right,” Maria nodded in your direction. “There are three helicarriers and three of you.”

“No,” Steve began to rise, your eyes following the movement of his body and his blue eyes fixed on yours. “Fury delegated orders to me, and that's an order.”

You indulged Steve until you lost sight of him, understanding he had said that out of pent-up fear. You grabbed one of the weapons that had been left on the ground and passed the strap over your head. The third helicarrier was a considerable distance away at a jump. You had to pick up too much speed to even make it to the tip, but you weren't going to stand there waiting for Steve when you could be doing something more; something necessary.

So that's what you did. Steve still hadn't reported state when you started running from tip to tip, your steps getting bigger with every second until you reached the gap and picked up momentum at the tip. That was insane. You felt the emptiness in your stomach again and out of the corner of your eye you could see a couple of explosions occurring in the harbor where the helicarriers had departed from. You stretched your arms out, counting on having propelled your body far enough, fearing a deadly fall as the other edge began to look higher and higher.

“Y/N, status,” you heard Hill, your heart in your mouth.

Your mind went blank for a second, when in the midst of the adrenaline you almost didn't even feel the moment when your left hand gripped the edge of the helicarrier tightly, the aircraft moving a little farther with each passing second. You had jumped at just the right moment.

Breathing hard, you propelled yourself upward until you could plant your feet back on the runway floor and replied to Maria, “Waiting.”

Steve must've thought you were still on the helicarrier with him.

As you ran, Sam reported that he had intercepted the second helicarrier after Steve, barely recognizing their voices amidst the tussle you were having with the agents who had appeared before you could reach the control room door.

“Y/N, where are you?” the voice of Steve came over the comm, a few minutes after you took down the last agent, moving in the direction of the metal door. You felt heavily for the programming card you had taken from Steve when he had pulled you close to get behind his shield, as you heard him ask Sam if he could see you.

You were about to reach the door when the scenery abruptly changed, a body appearing out of nowhere colliding into your left side sending you crashing to the ground hard.

“Shit.”

“Y/N?”

You ignored Steve's voice, moving to push off the heavy body on top of yours. Amidst the struggle you crawled away across the floor, a hand clutching at your ankle before you could move any further.

You recognized him by the coldness that ran through your body at the contact. You could almost be sure it had burned you.

This time he wasn't wearing the mask, those blue eyes boring deep into your head, the angry expression very different from how you had seen him last time. Although you would've liked to stay longer just watching, after spending so many years suffering his death, you pulled the leg he had held captive and tried to hit him in the face, his metal arm moving faster neutralizing the hit.

At that moment you stood up arching your back, planting your feet hard and running towards the soldier before he could catch you off guard.

You tried to strike his face, but he nimbly dodged every blow, just as you dodged his. He let out a grunt of frustration as you sent him to the ground with a kick to the chest, pulling a weapon from his side that he didn't hesitate a second to point in your direction. Feeling the air caught in your throat, you moved quickly on the ground, trying to escape his bullets while managing to find a place to hide.

You heard his footsteps approaching, as you hid behind a container, stopping just on the other side, and you moved to the right side of the container when you knew he was going to jump out and surprise you from above.

His body froze for a second, which you took advantage of to jump over the dumpster and grab him from behind, the baton you had on your belt wrapped around his neck, cutting off his breathing. You tried to hold him tight as he tried to push away your grip with his metal arm, almost as strong as your push to keep him in place.

The soldier began to slow his movements, but if you hadn't been so torn between he's the Winter Soldier and he's Bucky, you would've noticed one of his hands move over his vest, grabbing the handle of a knife and burying it in your right leg hard, all the way in, causing you to gasp.

Clearly your grip wobbled, the soldier taking possession of your staff and turning around as he pulled the blade out of your leg to direct his foot towards your chest, pushing you back to the ground where you fell with a loud thud.

The wound was deep. You could feel and hear the blood pouring out of it, but you didn't just stand there as you saw him leap down from the container, raising his arms to parry his attack as he directed the knife towards your face. His face contorted and scrunched up in concentration was all you could focus on, remembering that you couldn't let him win, but you also couldn't hurt him like he wanted to hurt you. You had to be objective, yes, but the thought of hurting him once more was heartbreaking.

You struggled with his hand until he let go of the knife, using your strength and trying to ignore the sharp pain in your leg from the effort to push him to the ground beside you with your hand on his neck and your leg around his waist, lying on top of him with one leg on each side.

At that moment, as you tried to keep your arm over his neck and he tried to weaken you by hitting your sides, you heard Steve and Sam's voices again. A small panic ran through your body which was enough for the soldier to push your arm away, grabbing you by the neck with his metal arm and bringing a gun close to your face as he rose up, taking you with him, until he slammed you into a wall with great force.

You raised your hand between your bodies to move the tip of the gun, the shot falling a short distance above your head, your exorbitant eyes watching his furious expression. His metal hand closed tighter and tighter around your neck, your breath hitching, but you didn't relinquish your grip on the hand still holding the gun.

In the midst of the struggle, you brought your knee up to strike his crotch. The soldier jerked away, a whimper dying in his mouth as you moved toward him again, pushing his arm away as he pointed the gun at you again and the shot landed somewhere behind you again.

You hit him in the face with your own head, one of your hands holding his right arm with the gun and the other trying to keep his metal arm that held the knife dripping with your blood at bay. You hit him full in the nose again, but even though the blood was starting to drip down, the soldier didn't budge one bit.

“Go!” you shouted to Steve and Sam, the soldier averting his attention for a tiny moment before struggling against your grip again.

You had to break free somehow to get the card to Steve. Your body began to give way with the soldier's thrust, your boots sliding on the floor like it was marble. The soldier began to close his arms and you tried to match his strength, but the blood leaking from the wound in your leg was slowly weakening you. And it was a vibranium knife again.

Suddenly you noticed Steve running towards you, the fleeting glance costing you restraint, as the soldier raised your arms and turned you roughly, his back crashing against your chest and his metal hand burying in your chest the knife hard, moving it from side to side as he did that cold night in Siberia.

In the midst of the pain and weakness from the blood loss, you laid your head on his shoulder, the adrenaline slowly draining from your body.

“Bucky,” you whispered like a prayer, your strangled voice barely making its way out of your mouth and the soldier tensing behind you. The struggling stopped for a second.

Then his body heat disappeared. Steve must've reached and tackled the soldier without missing a beat.

“Hey, hey,” you heard Sam approaching you, kneeling beside you and taking your hand that wanted to pull the knife out of your chest. Right through the center, near the heart. That pain was no match for the disappointment that was tearing you apart inside. Maybe that time you could actually die. “Don't touch that.”

“Give the card to Steve…” you barely muttered breathlessly, one of your hands moving to pull the card out of one of your lower pants pockets. “Run.”

Sam hesitated for a few seconds, looking between your knife and the fight that was still picking up steam in the background, until he clicked his tongue and stood up.

“Don't take that knife out!”

You saw him run in the direction of Steve and the soldier, his metal wings rising in the midst of the struggle. Steve and Sam began to get the upper hand, and at some point, Steve took off in the direction of the helicarrier control center.

You dropped to the ground, watching helplessly as the soldier overpowered Sam, dislodging his wings with the force of his metal arm. The pain was too much, but Sam was completely helpless. No matter how much training he might've had, fighting the Winter Soldier was disproportionate.

So in a matter of seconds you stood up, grasping between gasps the handle of the knife and pulling it out of your chest without a second thought.

The electric current of pain that coursed through your body was unbearable, feeling as if the hollowness you constantly felt in your chest from emotions had suddenly materialized, a constant pang that coursed through you from head to toe at every microsecond, with every movement. Sam didn't even have time to react when you grabbed the soldier by the throat, burying the knife in his leg and trying to wave him off.

You could consider yourself well served if at that moment that was your death.

The soldier grabbed the arm around your neck and leaned forward, lifting you up and flipping you over onto your back, falling hard and painfully to the ground. You looked at the knife in his leg before looking at his face again. He had a couple of cuts, his expression still angry, but he seemed to hesitate as he pulled the knife out like it was nothing and watched you lying on the ground, completely at his mercy.

His hesitation brought unease to your chest.

“Bucky,” you called again, tears welling in your eyes.

The soldier only frowned, his anger momentarily fading until he seemed to remember something.

He turned to look at the control center. Before running off, he sent you another disgruntled look, just like that time on the road.

Whatever had happened after that, death or not, was extremely painful.

tag: @samodivaa @rubyxx16

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not-so-mundane-after-all · 21 days

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I'll tell you how it's possibly going to end (because I've seen enough catastrophising and worst case scenario thoughts on here to last me a lifetime)

Dee Bradley Baker teased that the ending is "bittersweet", didn't he? And that the way the epilogue plays out is "affecting and beautiful". That "the emotions that are in play are real, human emotions, not just one of being a family member or a friend, but also of being a father, a father to a daughter."

Bittersweet means not everything is good but not everything is bad either. Which means that the finale doesn't have to end in only tragedy. Yes, there will be hurt, we might lose someone. But the end might actually be full of hope.

And isn't Star Wars all about hope?

They're going to bring it full circle. In episode 2 of season 1 - the very beginning of the show - the Batch visits Cut and Suu and the whole episode is essentially about them teaching Hunter how to be a parent and forcing him to look at his new responsibility from a different angle. They recognize his paternal instincts immediately, they see how he is with Omega and give him a lot of advice, saying things that stay with Hunter for the entirety of the show moving forward and affect his choices and reasoning. Cut is the one who makes Hunter realize that he has to do what's best for the kid. Cut is the one who gives him the idea of leaving the soldier life behind and finding, and I quote, "a remote piece of land on a distant planet." Like Pabu! Suu warns him that kids have a tendency to find trouble. They tell him he has no idea what he's in for but they also show him how to do it right.

Hunter's only priority since then has been keeping Omega safe and away from the war, away from the Empire, settling down and giving her the normal life she deserves. A thought instilled in him by Cut, who did the exact same thing - left the war behind, settled down and put his family first. It became Hunter's sole purpose, his main character arc, becoming a father and embracing the role is pretty much all he is about.

The finale will remind us of that.

Now, we won't avoid tragedy. That's granted at this point. There will be death, there will heartbreak. Nothing will ever be the same again. But every end is a new beginning.

Maybe we'll lose Crosshair, Maybe we'll lose Wrecker. Maybe both, hopefully neither. But no matter the final outcome, the very end is going to be about Hunter and Omega. The hunt for her will be over, the target on her back might be gone but they can't go back to Pabu, they won't risk it. So Rex and Echo track down Cut. Find him on a remote piece of land on distant planet, just like he said. And they arrange everything.

I can see them landing. Hunter stepping out in civil clothes, with a bag over his shoulder. He shakes hands with Cut, Omega runs to hug the kids. The atmosphere is sad and melancholic but everyone knows it's for the best.

Maybe they move to a house next door, maybe they live nearby. Hunter puts Omega to bed, lets Batcher lay down at her feet. He sits by her side until she's asleep and then steps out onto the porch where Cut is already waiting. They share a drink and a conversation, calling back to everything they've been talking about in 1x02 and how Hunter's view of things has changed since then. Now he understands his role in Omega's life. Understands the sacrifices he had to make and knows with full certainty he would make them again.

We haven't seen or heard about Cut since his episode, so a whole show ago. To bring him back in the finale and tie it all together? End it like that, in a full circle moment? It would be perfect.

And it fits to what Dee was saying, because this kind of ending is affecting, is beautiful, and most of all, it is bittersweet. Because at last Hunter gets his wish. He gets to raise Omega away from the war, give her a normal life and a happy childhood - but at the cost of losing everything else.

This might just be wishful thinking but I really hope this is where we're headed.

#the bad batch #star wars #star wars the bad batch #bad batch #the bad batch season 3 #tbb #tbb season 3 #hunter and omega #tbb hunter #tbb omega #tbb crosshair #tbb wrecker #tbb echo

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muiitoloko · 22 days

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Omg I love all your stories about Alan and his characters!! Especially Love Actually’s Harry stories caught my heart. I was wondering is ”Why?” going to get a sequel? Maybe showing Y/N and Harry happy again, perhaps with a long awaited child?

Thank you so much for your posts!! They brighten my days! ✨❤️

Title: Promise

Summary: The promises were fulfilled.

Pairing: Harry (love actually) × Fem!Reader

Warnings: Smut and happy ending.

Author's Notes: I'm thrilled that you enjoy my stories featuring Alan Rickman's characters, especially the ones about Harry in Love Actually! Honestly, when I was writing this fanfic with Harry, I actually toyed with the idea of giving them a bittersweet ending because, well, a bit of heartache can add depth, right? But I totally get that readers often prefer the warm fuzzies, so I decided to give Harry and the reader the happy ending everyone expects. Thanks for brightening my day with your kind words! ✨❤️

First, Second, Third and Fourth part here.

As the days turned into weeks and then months, you watched Harry's dedication to rebuilding your relationship with a mixture of awe and gratitude. He was relentless in his efforts to make things right, showering you with affection and attention in ways you hadn't experienced in years. Gone were the days of meaningless gestures and last-minute gifts; instead, Harry took the time to truly connect with you, to make you feel loved and cherished in every possible way.

You found yourself falling back in love with him, rediscovering the joy and excitement of being with him that had been missing for so long. It was like going back to the early days of your relationship, when you were both young and carefree, lost in the dizzying throes of love.

But amidst the whirlwind of emotions and newfound happiness, there was still one topic that loomed large between you: children. It was a subject that had always been delicate, fraught with the pain of disappointment and unfulfilled dreams. You both wanted children desperately, had tried for years to conceive, only to be met with heartbreak and despair each time.

And now, knowing that Harry had harbored resentment towards you for your inability to conceive made the fear in your heart grow stronger. What if he came to hate you for it again? What if history repeated itself, and you found yourselves back in the same cycle of hurt and betrayal?

It was a conversation you knew you needed to have, no matter how difficult or painful it might be. And so, on that day when Harry came to your apartment to spend the day with you, you gathered your courage and broached the subject that had been weighing heavily on your mind.

"Harry," you began, your voice steady despite the nervous fluttering in your chest. "Can we talk about something?"

Harry looked up from where he was sitting on the couch, his gaze softening as he met your eyes. "Of course, love," he replied, his voice warm with affection. "What's on your mind?"

You took a deep breath, steeling yourself for the conversation ahead. "It's about... children," you confessed, your voice barely above a whisper. "I know it's a sensitive topic for both of us, but I think we need to address it."

Harry's expression softened even further, his eyes filled with understanding as he reached out to take your hand in his. "I know, sweetheart," he murmured, his thumb stroking soothing circles on the back of your hand. "It's something we've both wanted for so long, and it breaks my heart that we haven't been able to make it happen."

Tears welled in your eyes at his words, the pain of your shared disappointment washing over you like a tidal wave. "I'm scared, Harry," you admitted, your voice trembling with emotion. "Scared that you'll come to hate me again, like you did before."

Harry's grip on your hand tightened, his eyes filled with an intensity that took your breath away. "I wouldn't hate you, not anymore," he declared, his voice steady and resolute. "I was foolish to ever feel resentful toward you. It wasn't your fault; it never was. It was me, unable to resolve my own feelings, letting them fester and grow into something ugly. But I'm different now; I've matured, and I see things clearly. The answer is no, I will never hate you."

The weight of his words lifted a burden from your heart, filling you with a sense of relief and gratitude. "But what if we never have children, Harry?" you asked, your voice barely a whisper as you struggled to contain your tears. "Can you live with that? Can we... can we be enough for each other?"

Harry's gaze never wavered as he met your eyes, his expression filled with unwavering determination. "We already are, love," he replied, his voice steady and sure. "You and me, together against the world. That's all I've ever wanted, all I'll ever need."

And in that moment, as you looked into Harry's eyes, you knew that he meant every word. Despite the pain and disappointment that had plagued your relationship, despite the uncertainty of what the future might hold, you knew that as long as you had each other, you could weather any storm that life threw your way.

With tears of gratitude streaming down your cheeks, you leaned forward and pressed your lips to Harry's, sealing your love and commitment to each other in a tender kiss. And as you held each other in a tight embrace, lost in the warmth of your shared love, you knew that no matter what challenges lay ahead, you would face them together, hand in hand, heart to heart.

In the days that followed, the weight of the unresolved issue of children lifted from your shoulders, and you and Harry found yourselves moving forward with renewed hope and determination. There were moments of doubt and insecurity, of course, memories of Harry's betrayal still lingering in the back of your mind. But Harry's unwavering commitment to rebuilding your relationship, coupled with his newfound openness and trust, helped ease your fears and reassure you of his love.

One significant gesture that spoke volumes about Harry's sincerity was his willingness to share his cell phone with you. Previously, he had kept it close, always vigilant about keeping it nearby and not letting you touch it. But now, he handed you the freedom to access his cell phone, giving you the password without hesitation. Likewise, you reciprocated, allowing Harry free access to your phone.

This newfound transparency and trust brought a sense of relief and security to your relationship. Over time, as Harry's calmness in letting you use his cell phone became evident, you found that the insecurities tormenting your mind began to dissipate. You no longer felt the need to constantly check Harry's phone for signs of infidelity; you came to trust him completely and fell even more in love with the new version of Harry.

But that day, as you stood there in disbelief, staring at the positive pregnancy test in your trembling hands that you received after visiting the doctor, a whirlwind of emotions swept over you. For years, you and Harry had tried to conceive, only to be met with disappointment time and again. And now, in the most unexpected moment, when you had finally made peace with the issue of having children, you were pregnant.

The shock of the news left you feeling numb at first, unable to fully comprehend the magnitude of what it meant. A baby—there was a baby growing inside you, a precious little life that was a testament to your love for each other. It was as if the universe was playing a cruel joke on you, testing your resolve just when you thought you had found peace.

But as the initial shock wore off, a sense of overwhelming happiness washed over you. A baby! You were going to have a baby, something you had dreamed of for so long. Despite the uncertainties and fears that lingered in the back of your mind, the prospect of becoming parents filled you with a sense of joy and excitement that you had never experienced before.

You debated whether to call Harry and share the news immediately, but something inside you urged caution. Maybe it was the fear of jinxing it, or perhaps the desire to surprise him with the news in a special way. Whatever the reason, you decided to keep the news to yourself for now, planning to reveal it to Harry when the time was right.

So, you spent the rest of the day lost in thought, the pregnancy test clutched tightly in your hand as you contemplated the future. You imagined what it would be like to hold your baby in your arms, to see Harry's face light up with joy at the news. Despite the doubts and uncertainties that nagged at you, there was a sense of peace and contentment in knowing that you were finally going to have the family you had always longed for.

As the evening approached, you found yourself bustling around the kitchen, preparing dinner for you and Harry. It had become somewhat of a routine for him to come over after work, almost as if he unofficially lived with you. You smiled to yourself as you set the table, knowing that Harry would be arriving soon.

Sure enough, as the clock ticked closer to the time he usually arrived, you heard the familiar sound of the door unlocking. Your heart skipped a beat as you hurried to open it, anticipation coursing through your veins.

"Hey, love," Harry greeted you with a warm smile as he stepped inside, shrugging off his coat. "How was your day?"

You returned his smile, feeling a rush of happiness at the sight of him. "It was good," you replied, your voice tinged with excitement. "How about yours?"

Harry's brow furrowed slightly as he studied your expression, a hint of curiosity in his eyes. "You seem... unusually happy," he remarked, his voice filled with amusement. "Not that I'm complaining, of course."

You chuckled nervously, hoping he wouldn't notice the nervous fluttering in your chest. "Oh, just had a good day at work, that's all," you lied, your smile faltering slightly under his scrutiny.

To your relief, Harry seemed to accept your explanation without further question, his smile widening as he reached out to pull you into a tight hug. "Well, I'm glad to hear it," he murmured, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead.

You melted into his embrace, feeling the warmth of his body against yours as you savored the moment. Despite the lingering doubts and uncertainties in your mind, being with Harry always made everything feel right in the world.

After a moment, you reluctantly pulled away, a sheepish smile playing on your lips. "Come on, dinner's almost ready," you said, taking his hand and leading him towards the kitchen.

As you entered the cozy kitchen, the scent of home-cooked food filled the air, making Harry's stomach growl in anticipation. He chuckled softly, his eyes sparkling with amusement as he took in the scene before him.

"Well, well, well, looks like someone beat me to dinner tonight," he teased, giving you a playful nudge with his elbow. He then carelessly took his cell phone out of his pocket and placed it on the table, almost throwing it.

You laughed, feeling a sense of warmth spread through you at his lighthearted banter. "I figured it was my turn to cook," you replied, shooting him a mischievous grin. "Besides, I wanted to surprise you."

Harry's smile softened, his gaze filled with affection as he pulled you into another hug. "You're full of surprises, aren't you?" he murmured, pressing a soft kiss to your cheek.

You smiled, feeling a rush of happiness at his words. "Only for you," you whispered, leaning into his embrace as you savored the moment.

As you sat down to enjoy your meal together, the atmosphere was filled with warmth and love. Despite the uncertainties and challenges that lay ahead, you knew that as long as you had each other, you could weather any storm that life threw your way. And as you looked into Harry's eyes, you felt a sense of peace wash over you like a gentle wave, knowing that together, you could overcome anything.

After a nice dinner filled with laughter and easy conversation, you and Harry retreated to the kitchen to tackle the aftermath of the meal. As you washed the dishes, Harry stood beside you, drying them with practiced efficiency.

The sound of water running and the clink of dishes filled the air as you worked side by side, the comfortable silence between you a testament to the ease of your relationship. It was moments like these that reminded you of why you had fallen in love with Harry in the first place, his unwavering support and dedication a constant source of comfort and reassurance.

As you reached for another plate, you felt Harry's arms wrap around you from behind, his body pressing against yours as he nuzzled your neck with soft kisses.

"I missed you today," he murmured, his breath hot against your skin. "Can't get enough of you, darling."

You melted against him, the warmth of his embrace enveloping you like a cozy blanket. Setting the dry plate aside, you turned to face Harry, your arms winding around his neck as you gazed up at him with adoration.

"I missed you too," you whispered, your voice barely above a breath as you leaned in to capture his lips in a tender kiss.

The kiss quickly deepened, passion flaring between you as you lost yourselves in each other's embrace. Harry's hands roamed eagerly over your body, his touch igniting a fire within you that burned hot and fierce.

With a needy moan, you pressed yourself closer to him, your bodies melding together in a tangle of limbs and desire. The feel of Harry's lips trailing hot kisses along your neck sent shivers of pleasure coursing through you, the sensation overwhelming in its intensity.

"You drive me wild, you know that?" Harry murmured against your skin, his voice thick with desire as he trailed his lips lower, his hands sliding down to grip your hips.

You gasped at the sensation, arching into his touch as you felt the familiar ache of desire building deep within you. "Only for you," you breathed, your voice laced with need as you pulled him closer, craving the feel of him against you.

With a hungry growl, Harry lifted you onto the countertop, his hands roaming eagerly over your body as he claimed your lips in a heated kiss. The world fell away around you as you lost yourselves in the passion and intensity of the moment, the need for each other consuming you completely.

Clothes were shed in a frenzy of desire, the air thick with the heady scent of arousal as you gave yourselves over to the pleasure that pulsed between you. The countertop was hard against your back, but you hardly noticed as Harry buried himself deep inside you, filling you completely with each powerful thrust.

With each movement, you felt yourself getting closer and closer to the edge, the pleasure building to an unbearable crescendo. "Harry," you cried out, your voice a breathless whisper as you surrendered completely to the ecstasy that consumed you.

Harry's response to your plea was a low, guttural groan. You knew you had awakened something primal within him. With fierce determination, he lifted you effortlessly, still buried deep inside you, as he carried you to the bedroom. His queen deserved a bed, deserved everything, and Harry was determined to give you just that.

With a gentle yet firm hand, Harry laid you down on the soft mattress, the cool sheets a stark contrast to the heat that radiated between you. He wasted no time in rejoining you, his body hovering over yours as he claimed your lips in a hungry kiss.

"You're mine," Harry growled against your lips, his baritone voice sending shivers of desire down your spine. "All mine."

You melted into his embrace, lost in the intensity of his touch as he ravaged your lips with a ferocity that left you breathless. His hands roamed eagerly over your body, igniting a fire within you that burned hot and fierce.

With a low moan of pleasure, you wrapped your legs around Harry's waist, pulling him closer as he thrust himself inside you with a primal urgency. The sensation of him filling you completely sent waves of pleasure coursing through you, the need for him overwhelming in its intensity.

"Harder, Harry," you gasped, your voice a desperate plea as you surrendered completely to the ecstasy that consumed you. "Please, I need you."

Harry's response was a low, guttural groan of approval as he complied with your request, his movements becoming more urgent and frantic. With each powerful thrust, he drove you both closer and closer to the edge, the pleasure building to an unbearable crescendo.

But Harry wasn't satisfied yet, not when he knew he could give you so much more. With a determined focus, he shifted his position, grabbing one of your legs and placing it over his shoulder to get a better angle. The change in position allowed him to hit your g-spot with precision, the sensation sending shockwaves of pleasure coursing through you.

"Oh god, Harry," you cried out, your voice filled with ecstasy as he drove you to the brink of oblivion. "Right there, don't stop!"

Harry's response was a low, primal growl as he intensified his efforts, his movements becoming more frenzied and desperate. With each thrust, he pushed you closer and closer to the edge, the pleasure building to an unbearable crescendo.

And then, with a final, powerful thrust, you tumbled over the edge into ecstasy, your body convulsing with pleasure as waves of bliss washed over you. Harry followed soon after, his own release tearing through him with explosive force as he spilled himself inside you, claiming you as his own in a blaze of passion and desire.

As you both collapsed against each other, spent and satisfied, you couldn't help but revel in the aftermath of your passion. Harry's hooked nose brushed against your cheek as he pressed a tender kiss to your lips, his glasses askew and his chest heaving with exertion.

"You're incredible," Harry murmured against your lips, his voice thick with emotion. "I love you."

As you lay there, wrapped in the aftermath of your passionate embrace with Harry, tears welled up in your eyes. The intensity of your love-making had stirred something deep within you, a profound sense of connection and belonging that left you feeling overwhelmed with emotion.

Feeling loved in that moment, you knew you could no longer keep the news to yourself. As Harry nuzzled your neck with soft kisses, you felt his warmth enveloping you like a protective cocoon, and you knew it was time to share your joy with him.

But as you tried to compose yourself, Harry noticed your tears, his expression shifting from one of contentment to one of confusion and concern. His brows furrowed as he looked at you, a hint of desperation in his voice as he questioned what was wrong.

"Darling, what's the matter?" Harry asked, his baritone voice filled with worry. "Did I do something wrong? Did I hurt you?"

You shook your head, trying to hold back your tears as you reached out to caress his cheek. "No, Harry, you didn't do anything wrong," you reassured him, your voice barely above a whisper. "I just... I have something to tell you."

Harry's confusion deepened as he studied your face, his eyes searching yours for answers. But before he could say anything else, you interrupted him with a tender kiss, pouring all your love and affection into the gesture.

When you pulled away, Harry looked at you with a mixture of surprise and anticipation, his eyes wide with curiosity. "What is it, love?" he asked, his voice gentle and encouraging.

Taking a deep breath, you met Harry's gaze head-on, your heart pounding in your chest. "I'm pregnant, Harry," you confessed, your voice trembling with emotion. "I just went to the doctor today to do some tests, and... the doctor confirmed that I'm pregnant."

For a moment, there was silence as Harry processed your words, his expression frozen in disbelief. Pregnant? The word echoed in his mind, sending shockwaves of realization through him.

Slowly, Harry reached out to take your hand, his fingers trembling slightly as he squeezed yours tightly. "Are you... are you serious?" he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

You nodded, tears of joy streaming down your cheeks as you met Harry's gaze with unwavering determination. "Yes, Harry, I'm serious," you replied, your voice filled with love and hope. "We're going to have a baby."

Still in a state of disbelief, Harry remained silent, his eyes locked with yours as he struggled to process the magnitude of what you had just told him. You started to feel nervous, the silence stretching between you as you waited for his response.

"Harry?" you called out tentatively, your voice tinged with uncertainty. "Are you okay?"

But Harry didn't respond. Instead, he pulled out of you and left the bedroom, leaving you sitting on the bed, confused and heartbroken. You wrapped the sheets around you, feeling a sense of sadness washing over you as you wondered if Harry was leaving, if he didn't like the news of the pregnancy.

Tears threatened to spill from your eyes as you contemplated the possibility of Harry walking away from you. But just as despair began to consume you, you were interrupted by the sound of Harry returning to the bedroom.

Your heart skipped a beat as Harry knelt in front of you, a velvet box in his hand. With trembling fingers, he opened the box, revealing a beautiful ring nestled inside. Your breath caught in your throat as you realized what was happening.

"I've been waiting for the perfect opportunity to do this," Harry began, his voice filled with emotion. "The right moment. And I realize now that this is the rightest time I could find."

He looked up at you, his eyes shining with love and sincerity. "So, do you want to marry me again?" he asked, his voice filled with hope.

Tears of joy filled your eyes as you looked at Harry, feeling overwhelmed with love and gratitude. "Yes, Harry, yes!" you exclaimed, your voice choked with emotion. "I want to marry you again."

With a relieved smile, Harry slipped the ring onto your finger, his hands trembling slightly as he made a silent vow to cherish you for the rest of his life.

"I promise, love," Harry whispered, his voice filled with determination. "I'll do things the right way this time. I swear on my life."

And in that moment, as you looked into Harry's eyes, you knew that despite the challenges and uncertainties that lay ahead, you would face them together, hand in hand, heart to heart. With Harry by your side, you were ready to embrace whatever the future held, knowing that your love would carry you through any storm.

As you stood in the park, the warm breeze gently rustling the leaves of the old oak tree, you couldn't help but feel a sense of peace wash over you. This tree held so many memories for you and Harry, memories of the promises you made to each other all those years ago, when you were just young and in love.

With a soft smile, you reached out and traced the initials carved into the rough bark of the tree, feeling the familiar grooves beneath your fingertips. "H + Y," you whispered, your voice filled with affection as you remembered the day you and Harry had carved your names into the tree, sealing your love and commitment to each other for eternity.

As you gazed at the initials, lost in the memories they evoked, you felt a small hand slip into yours, tugging gently at your fingers. Looking down, you saw your son Hadrian standing beside you, a determined expression on his face as he stared up at you with wide, innocent eyes.

"Mommy, help me write my name," Hadrian pleaded, his voice filled with excitement. "I want it to be next to yours and Daddy's."

Your heart swelled with love as you looked at your son, his resemblance to Harry strikingly evident in his bright eyes and unruly mop of brown hair. He was the light of your life, a constant source of joy and laughter that filled your days with happiness.

"Of course, sweetheart," you replied, bending down to his level and ruffling his hair affectionately. "Let's go write your name together."

Hadrian nodded eagerly, his small fingers grasping the stick tightly as he carefully began to trace the letters of his name onto the bark of the tree. You watched with pride as he concentrated intently, his tongue poking out slightly from the corner of his mouth in concentration.

"Good job, buddy," you praised him, unable to contain the smile that spread across your face. "You're doing great."

Hadrian beamed up at you, his eyes shining with pride as he finished writing his name. "Look, Mommy!" he exclaimed, pointing excitedly at the crooked letters carved into the tree. "I did it!"

You laughed at his excitement, feeling a swell of love and gratitude in your heart as you looked at your son. "Yes, you did, sweetheart," you replied, wrapping him in a tight hug. "I'm so proud of you."

As you held Hadrian in your arms, surrounded by the beauty of the park and the warmth of the afternoon sun, you couldn't help but feel overwhelmed with gratitude. Despite the obstacles and challenges you had faced along the way, here you were, together as a family, happy and fulfilled.

Looking over at Harry, who was standing a few feet away, watching the scene with a proud smile on his face, you felt a sense of contentment wash over you. He had been your rock, your partner in every sense of the word, and together, you had weathered every storm that life had thrown your way.

"Come on, Mommy," Hadrian said, tugging at your hand impatiently. "Daddy's waiting for us."

You chuckled at his eagerness, allowing him to lead you back to where Harry was standing. As you approached, Harry knelt down to scoop Hadrian up into his arms, pressing a tender kiss to his cheek.

"Did you write your name, buddy?" Harry asked, his voice filled with pride as he looked at Hadrian.

Hadrian nodded enthusiastically, his face beaming with excitement. "I did, Daddy!" he exclaimed, wriggling in Harry's arms to show off his handiwork.

Harry laughed, his eyes sparkling with joy as he looked at the crooked letters carved into the tree. "That's amazing, Hadrian," he said, pressing another kiss to his son's cheek. "I'm so proud of you."

You smiled at the sight of the two of them, a wave of love washing over you as you watched them together. This was what happiness looked like, you realized, not the absence of challenges, but the presence of love and family to face them together.

As Harry turned to you, his eyes filled with love and gratitude, you knew that the promise you and he had made all those years ago had been fulfilled. You were happy, truly happy, and nothing could ever change that.

With a smile, you reached out to take Harry's hand, feeling the warmth of his touch as he squeezed your fingers tightly. Together, you stood there in the park, surrounded by the beauty of nature and the love of your family, knowing that as long as you had each other, you could weather any storm that life threw your way.

#alan rickman #harry #love actually #harry x reader #alan rickman x reader #oc

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seospicybin · 9 months

Text

MAKE A WISH.

Changbin x reader. (s,f)

A chapter of Pied Piper.

Synopsis: It's his first serious relationship but Changbin fears that he likes you more than you like him. (8,1k words)

Author's note: Happy birthday to my Leo king, the Seo fine, Seo hot, Seo Changbin!

Changbin knows that his time as a university student is about to end soon.

Tonight, he wanted to soak himself once again in the experience of being one by attending a party and this would probably be the last one he had before the stressful time of university life.

The house is crowded with people, a few of them greeted him as he makes his way to grab a drink. It's not hard to navigate through a party like this, the waterhole is always located in the kitchen.

He mixes various alcohol into his cup when a girl approaches him, "Hi, I haven't seen you in a minute!" She says, with a hand on his shoulder.

Changbin only needs to see her once to know she's one he had a flirt with but he remembers she was dating someone at that time.

"Hey, yeah, nice to see you!" He nicely replies.

She eyes the drink he's making, "can you make that two?"

"Sure!" He answers, he planned on going to make a double for himself though.

He makes the drinks as fast as he can and hands her a cup, "Here you go!"

She holds his hand instead of wrapping her hand around the cup, forcing Changbin to hand it right to her hand.

"Do you want to—"

"I'm going back to my friends," Changbin cuts her off and brings his drink with him.

If that girl talked to the old Changbin, he wouldn't pass the chance on talking to a girl, probably taking her to his room to get some privacy and taking things further from there.

He's a changed man now. He's dating a girl and has been dating her for almost a year now. In conclusion, Changbin's time as a campus' heartbreaker is over.

He makes his way back to the living room where all of his friends are gathered. They're shouting at his return with whistles and excessive cheers.

"There goes our retired player!" One of them says.

Confused, Changbin thinks he missed a few things or two while he grabbed his drink.

He ignores him and sits on the sofa, taking the joystick from his friend, "Is it my turn to play?"

He plays a round of video games while the others are talking about this guy who is the new campus' heartbreaker. Funny that he used to try so hard to sustain this image and now he just doesn't care at all.

"So who's this new player?"

"Some guy from film major."

"I still think Bin is the most attractive," his friend teases, going for a kiss at him.

Changbin immediately pushes him away and continues playing video games.

Another one of his friends joined the circle and eggs into the conversation, "Are we talking about the new pretty boy?"

"No, I told you Bin is prettier!" The other friend insists, aggressively supporting him by patting his muscular arms with both hands.

He shrugs him off, "Get lost!"

"I just came back from the film screening thing and I thought it was I saw with your girlfriend," his friend says while munching on a bag of chips.

That makes his ears perked up at the mention of you and a film screening, you said you're going to that thing since you helped them with the posters.

"What do you mean?" He snaps at him, giving the joystick away to the friend sitting next to him.

"I thought the guy she was with is you but he's prettier so..." he continues laughing instead of explaining the details.

"What do you mean by seeing her with someone else?" Changbin gets a little impatient so he grabs the bag of chips so he can properly answer his question. He's not offended by their comments on his look, he's more concerned about you being seen with someone else.

"Whoa, chill!" He says with both hands up in defeat.

"I saw them leaving the screening together so..."

The thought of you going home with someone that is not him makes his blood boils and he wastes no time to grab his car key.

He couldn't drive faster and skipped taking the elevator, climbing the stairs instead to get to your floor. By the time he's standing by the door of your apartment, he's panting and his neck is covered in a sheen of sweat.

He's way past knocking, he's banging on your door, losing senses the longer the door is left unanswered.

Not long after, he hears you faintly complaining from behind the door.

"...coming! Oh, God!"

The second he hears the door clicks and unlocked, Changbin comes barging inside without greeting you first.

"What is it? A sudden inspection?" You joke while locking the door behind you.

Yet Changbin keeps walking further inside and going into every room, searching for something.

You trudge back to your room and sit on the edge of the bed, watching him go into the bathroom.

"Where is he?" He asks as he returns to your room.

"Where is who?" You innocently ask back.

He stands in front of you with his arms crossed in front of him, all serious with a crease formed between his eyebrows.

"I don't know," he slightly shrugs.

"Perhaps, some guy you picked up from the film screening thing," he answers with anger woven under those words.

You lowly chuckle and lean back on the bed, "you mean Lee?"

He doesn't get why you are so calm on admitting that some guy drove you home. Instead of answering you, he shrugs again.

"He left," you simply answer.

Again, he's not seeing any sense of guilt in you and it infuriates him.

"He only gave me a lift home. Nothing else," you assure him.

However, your answer is not quite put him at ease.

You scoot forward on the bed to reach for him, pulling him close by hooking your fingers on the belt loops of his jeans, "Can you relax?"

He uncrosses his arms, then takes your hands in his, "Why didn't you call if you need a ride home?"

You look up at him and softly smile, "You said you want to hang out with your friends so why should I bother you?"

"What's the point of me being your boyfriend if you can't even call me to give you a ride home?" He argues.

You look away and let his hands go, climbing onto the bed and making space next to you for him on the small bed.

"Get in here!"

Usually, Changbin would easily soften around you but not tonight.

Seeing that he decides not to obey you, you heavily sigh and look at him, "I'm having like... excruciating period cramp right now and that's why I asked Lee to give me a ride home so I can take an Advil or two then get some rest. When I was about to sleep, my boyfriend came, banging on the door, and barged inside, thinking that I hide some guy in here."

You laid out all the facts right to his face that he got speechless, feeling bad for every second that passed in silence after you stopped talking.

You let out another big sigh and angrily brush your hair to the back, "Now, he's trying to pick a fight with me instead of getting on the bed like I told him to and giving me back rubs to make me feel better."

Changbin certainly picks the worst time to pick a fight with you if he chooses to continue but what he said earlier are coming back to him. What's the point of being your boyfriend when he can't comfort you?

He takes off his shoes without his feet then climbs onto the bed, tucking into the space next to you on the bed that is too small for two people.

"Now that's my good boy!" You say with a smile as you snug into him, putting his hand on the arch of your back.

Changbin puts his arm around you and rests his other hand on your back, "you want back rubs?" He softly asks, in contrast to the loud and stern voice he used earlier.

You nod as you place his hand lower on the arch of your back, "there."

He slips his hand under your tanktop to start giving you slow, back rubs with his big, warm hand, "like that?"

You nod and put your hand across his chest, nuzzling your head further into his neck.

A short fuse, that's what you've said about him once and Changbin admits that he easily loses himself to his temper. Thankfully, he got you, you know how to defuse him before he gets to explode and obliterate everything around him.

Now he sees how the two are compatible with each other, you're the water that could tame his wildfire.

"I'm sorry," he mutters.

"For what?" You ask without looking at him.

"For being a jealous boyfriend," he answers without a beat. It's not his first time and surely not will be his last, you get used to this situation at this point.

"An overly jealous boyfriend," you correct.

"Yeah, that," he agrees with a low chuckle and plants his mouth on the top of your head.

You tilt your head and hold his jaw to briefly peck his lips, "Why are you so jealous, mmh?" You ask after with a gentle swipe of your thumb over his lips.

This question has come up more than a dozen times during the year-long relationship and he can list the reasons why.

Firstly, because it's you and he can't find anyone else like you, someone who can tolerate him and all of his shortcomings.

Secondly, because this is his first serious relationship. Changbin used to jump from one girl to another without any sort of attachment but now, he's committed to one girl and he hopes you are just as committed.

Thirdly, it's not much about jealousy. Yes, he's a jealous person but lately, Changbin feels like his love is not being reciprocated well. He worries about you a lot, he clings to you more, he cares for your well-being more than he cares for himself and he's not being presumptuous, his friends often said the same thing, that Changbin seems to be the one who loves you more than you do to him.

He's been keeping that to himself because maybe he's overthinking it but maybe after what happened earlier, you'll get it why.

"Do you still like me?"

You let out a chuckle, "all of a sudden?"

He lowly groans at you, "Just answer it!"

"Of course, yes."

"Yes, what?"

"I like you," you mutter without looking at him.

"Do it right!" He fusses and forces you to look at him.

You lift your head and properly look him in the eyes as you say again, "I like you so much," you emphasize the words to convince him.

He holds the back of your neck and stares back into your eyes, "how much?"

You stifle a laugh and place your hand on his neck, "are you suddenly doubting my feelings for you?"

There's no use in lying when you can see right through him and he looks away, ashamed of himself.

"I mean..." he stops rubbing your back, "you never even cared where I am or what I'm doing."

You turn his head toward you and raise an eyebrow at him, "Yeah...?"

"Have you ever gotten jealous at all?"

"Jealous of you?"

"Yes."

"Doing what exactly?"

Changbin doesn't want to sound so full of himself but you force him to explain himself, "Just because I'm dating you, doesn't mean that the girls would stop coming at me."

You lean in close at him, "Which means...?"

He licks his lips in annoyance, "At any day, a girl can come and snags me from you."

You snort and chuckle into his neck, making Changbin more annoyed than before.

"Are you sure you would be laughing when you see me with another girl?" He asks with a frustrated sigh.

You kiss his neck and laugh again, "You want me to keep you on a leash is that what you're saying?"

He laughs because that sounds like what he's truly asking you to do, "yeah, I'd like that than nothing at all," he half-heartedly says.

You close your eyes and put your leg over his, rubbing your foot against his shin, he likes it whenever you do that.

"I already put you on a leash, Bin," you say.

Now he gets confused. What leash? Because all these times, you've been letting him run free and do whatever he pleases.

"But it's invisible," you add.

You open your eyes and chuckle looking at his confounded expression, "It's called trust."

Overlapping his body with yours, you put half of your body over his and plant your chin on his chest, "I trust you that your head won't turn to any girls."

That makes him feel like an idiot for not doing the same thing to you, he guesses it's his insecurities and that now he's no longer the campus' heartbreaker, he doesn't have anything to sustain his ego.

"I'm always worried that your head will turn," he meekly says.

You hover over his face and peck his lips, "that's because you don't trust me."

"I trust you," he hastily replies.

"It's the men whose heads turned at you that I don't trust," he says in defense of his remark.

You look into his eyes without saying anything and he believes you have something to say to him but chooses not to tell him, you shake your head and rest your head on his chest again.

"Come on, say it!" He dares you by nudging you with his shoulder.

You take a breath and look up at him, "that sounds like you need constant validation."

When you put it like that, then yes, that's what he asks of you, a constant validation that you indeed like him and Changbin doesn't care if that makes him sound pathetic.

"You don't want to do that for me?"

You laugh because you thought that he was joking but when he doesn't laugh along, your laughter fades.

"You want me to tell you how much I like you... what? Like every hour every day?" You ask with eyes widened in disbelief.

Changbin chuckles because it makes him seem like he's asking a lot from you, "you don't have to tell me," he's starting to run out of words to explain what he wanted from you.

"It's the way you treat me. I want you to treat me like how much you like me," he blurts out.

You process his words for a moment and Changbin instantly regretted the way he harshly delivered his answer, even to himself.

Slipping your hand into his hair, you softly smile at him and ask, "Is that what you want?"

It scares him how you calmly handle the situation and it makes him feel bad for being such a demanding boyfriend.

"Yes," he replies.

"Okay," you simply answer.

You are always so calm and composed like a still water, at times, he's afraid to even dip his fingers and makes ripples.

"Okay," he meekly says back.

Flashing him another smile, you lower your mouth on his and kiss him, slowly yet deeply. He would never get tired of the taste of your lips, it's like honey, pure and divinely sweet.

"Can you please rub my back again, baby?" You nicely ask after.

Those magic words are enough to put him under a spell, as of this moment, he'll do anything you ask of him. What can he say? He's a fool for you.

One thing is Changbin needs to know how much of a fool are you for him.

From the past relationships you had before Changbin, you learned that men don't like to be smothered with attention.

You get used to letting them freely run around the place as long as you knew they'll be back to you. They're grown men, after all, you're not obligated to take care of them 24/7.

However, Changbin is a whole different case. He mistook your complete trust as ignorance, when in fact, you care for him, you miss him when he's not around and with his past as a player, it's hard not to worry that he'll hop back on his old, bad habits.

That's not his fault and it's entirely yours for not showing it through actions or maybe you're just bad at it.

You do like Changbin, you like him very much that you think it's not just 'like' anymore.

Just like this morning, you get panicked not finding him sleeping next to you. You force yourself to open your eyes even though they're still heavy with sleep, you grope around the bedside table for your phone and call him.

Changbin doesn't pick up so you hang up and try again, it's very unusual for him to leave without telling you. The fear that he might be still angry from last night starts to creep in.

After a while, you hear the faint sound of his phone ring tone getting louder and then someone unlocks the front door.

Changbin comes into the room not long after with both hands full, "can't answer the phone," he concisely explains.

You sit up on the bed and scoot to the side, clearing a space for him to sit.

"What did you buy for breakfast?" You're eyeing the brown paper bag in his hand.

He takes a seat next to you and excitedly shows you what's inside, the smell of something freshly baked wafting around the place.

It's a big cookie from the bakery across the street, he surely knows that you like it very much that he woke up early to get it for you.

You gasp as you get ahold of it, "and it's still warm."

Taking a bite of the cookie, you chew with a smile on your face as the sweetness fills your mouth and lifts your mood in an instant.

You break a piece and feed it to him which he eagerly eats. He hands you your usual iced coffee but you take the one in his other hand, "Can I have the hot one?"

"Sure," he simply answers, "but I already have a few sips."

"Even better," you say and do not hesitate to take a small sip of the hot coffee.

Both of you take turns taking a bite of the cookie even though there's another piece inside the bag. He gladly eats from your hand while sipping his coffee and put it away after.

"Feeling better now?" He asks, putting an arm around your shoulder.

You nod and shove the last of the cookie into your mouth, washing it down with a big gulp of coffee. You look down and gently dust the crumbs on your tanktop, catching Changbin looking at your clothed mounds.

"Glorious aren't they?"

It's as if you snapped him out of his daze, "Huh?"

"Period boobs," you take his hand and make him feel your breast through your white tank top.

Changbin accidentally nudges your other breast and makes you wince in pain.

"Oh? Why?" He asks in horror.

"They're so tender, very sensitive," you share and move his hand to slowly rub it around your clothed nipple, showing him to touch you.

You let his hand go and let him touch you however he wants, you rest your head on his shoulder, looking down at his body with your hand touching his toned body against his black t-shirt.

You've never been that big on muscles but seeing his body with all those muscles contracting whenever he does certain things, oh... it's enough to make you salivate.

You glide your hand up to wrap it around his neck and tilt his head so you can kiss him. Didn't mean to get things on but you find yourself kissing him so hard with you desperately bringing his face closer and closer to deepen the kiss.

Changbin is only answering to your need when he wraps his arms around you and pulls your body close. However, the condition you are in wouldn't let this happen.

Reluctantly, you pull away from the kiss.

"Ugh!" You groan in frustration.

He pecks your lips and holds your face close with his fingers under your chin, "what?"

"I'm so horny right now," you bluntly admit with a pout, "but we can't do anything about it."

He glides his hand down the curve of your body and squeezes the flesh on your waist, "why not?"

You giggle as he glides his hand lower to your ass and kneads on it, "It's like a murder scene down there, you don't want—" You stop yourself from continuing.

You kiss him again in the hope to suppress the urge to rip his clothes off, it's a wrong decision but too late to stop doing it. What do you have to lose but a little sanity as he kisses you down the pillow?

You push him away and giggle as you dodge away from him going for another kiss.

"Oh, man!" You groan again, even more frustrated than before.

"You have to go, mmh?"

He checks the time on his phone and nods, "I have class in an hour."

You pout at him, fisting the front of his shirt in your hand, "Well, I have nothing to stop you from going."

There's the disappointment drawn on his face, you don't have to be a genius to know that he wants you to make him stay, beg if you have to.

You pull him close by the front of his shirt and hastily kiss him, "I'll let you go," you say between kisses, "after a few more of these."

No matter how much he wanted to, he has to go with time passed and he has not much left to get ready for class, "I'll see you later, mmh?"

You place a long peck on his lips and smile, "Okay. See you later, Changbin's lips," you playfully say.

You peck him again and gently squeeze his biceps, "and Changbin's muscles," you add.

It's only 8 in the morning, but you know your day is already made as his infectious laughs are filling the room that you can't help but laugh along with him.

"Thank you for breakfast," you mutter before forgetting to tell him your gratitude.

Changbin presses another kiss on your lips before leaving the door. You continue eating the cookie on your bed and continue working on your plan for his birthday next week, texting some of his friends to help you with a few things.

There's so much to do but thankfully, now you know what to gift Changbin on his birthday.

"I have to finish the painting today."

Changbin wouldn't bother you if it wasn't his birthday today. These past few days, you've been so distant, always busy painting or doing other art projects you take part in.

"But it's my—"

"I know," you cut him off.

"I'll finish this and be there as soon as possible," you explain without any hint of regret in your voice.

No apologies, no birthday wishes whatsoever, you don't even try to make excuses.

It seems like his birthday doesn't mean anything to you but another day where Changbin has to ask for your affection. He hears his friends calling for him and telling him to come hurry since they've been waiting in his car.

"Don't make your friends wait, Bin," you tell him.

He sighs in defeat, knowing that he can't keep forcing you to do what he wants. You are your own person and there's nothing he can do about it but... accept the fact that maybe he likes you more than you like him.

He swallows air as if he has just taken a big pill of truth.

"Okay," he simply answers.

"Have fun, okay?"

"Yeah."

His friends don't talk much during the drive to the bowling alley knowing that Changbin is not in a fine mood despite most people usually are when it's their birthday.

"Just because it's your birthday, doesn't mean we'll let you win," his friend tries to light up the mood.

The joke turns sour with a glare shot at the backseat through the rearview mirror.

It's not working to elicit his competitiveness when it comes to his favorite sport, bowling.

As they enter the alley, it's weirdly empty that Changbin thought they entered the wrong place. It's quiet and dim with a dull, blue light lighting the room.

"Is this right? Why—"

His friends push him further inside before he can continue speaking and in a second, neon lights are flooding the room, blinding him in the process.

Changbin has to squint to see a group of people coming at him with a birthday cake and candles lit on top. He doesn't recognize it at first until he can see close enough, the person carrying the cake is you.

"Happy birthday!"

A wide grin plastered on your face, knowing that you've successfully fooled him into thinking that you missed his birthday.

He gets so overjoyed that you're indeed remembered and here to celebrate his birthday together, not to mention, got all of his friends involved in it too.

"My hands are getting tired," you whine, holding out the cake closer to him so he can hurry and blow the candles.

Instead of focusing on the cake, he's looking at you with the glow of candles cast upon your face.

"Don't forget to make a wish!" You remind him.

Once he closes his eyes, everything becomes clear to him, his wishes and what he needs to do to make it come true.

He opens his eyes to see you still looking at him with a smile on your face.

"Come on! The candles are melting!" You grumble.

He hurriedly blows all the candles off and gets the cake away from you to hand it to someone else.

You throw your arms around him, let him whisk you, and give you a spin as you squeal in excitement.

"Happy birthday!" You wish him again with a long kiss.

"You got me good!" He says as you wipe your lipstick off his lips.

"Well, it's a surprise!" You answer with a triumphant smile.

The celebration continues with a few rounds of bowling where you refuse to go against him, and insist on being in one team with him.

It's you and him against a group of his friends, you both lead with a few points. It's Changbin's turn to bowl, you kiss him good luck.

"Let's win this!" You mutter.

He confidently smirks, "It's a win already!"

This is his game, this is what he's good at and it's his birthday, he doesn't need to look to know it's you cheering for him.

He can feel the victory within his reach and he knows he'll become it, he confidently throws, earning doubles.

You come running and jump at him, lucky that Changbin is quick and strong enough to catch you, holding your body against him.

"We won!" You squeal before lowering your lips on him.

There's excitement but Changbin feels another thing too, it makes his heart beat faster and heavy, and he feels the need to let something off his chest.

As you pull away from the kiss, he decides that it's time.

"I love you," Changbin blurts out.

You giggle in response, probably thinking he said those words out of sheer excitement of winning the bowling game.

"I love you too," you say back with a long peck on his lips.

Here he thought that saying them is hard but he didn't know that getting those three words said back to him would be this easy.

But then why this doesn't feel like a victory at all?

The party was a huge success.

You're sitting on the passenger's side with a heart so full even though you're not the one having a birthday today. It's also possible that it's because of something else.

Although, it's weird that he stayed quiet the whole ride to your place. You don't want to ruin this just because something is gnawing inside you.

There are plenty of things to do for the rest of the night. Pushing the button to your floor on the panel of the elevator, you corner him to the side and put your arms around his neck, clinging to him just like he wanted you to.

"Did you like it?"

He rests a hand on the arch of your back, "what?"

You lean in closer, leaning an inch of space between your lips and his.

"The birthday party I threw for you?"

He slyly smiles as he glides his hand lower to the curve of your ass, slightly hoists you against him, then kisses you so deep that you almost lose your footing.

You laugh against his lips, "So? How was the birthday party?"

He pecks your lips before answering, "I like it," he shortly answers.

Not the kind of response you expected but again, you don't want to ruin such a good night. You lean in close to his ear and seductively whisper, "You're so hot."

"You've only realized it now?" He asks that signature half-smirk of his.

You grab at the collar of his shirt, "Want you to throw like that bowling ball," you playfully share.

You both burst into laughter in unison and not realizing that the elevator door slides open and a couple of people enter the shared space.

It's your luck that it only forces you to corner him more, pushes you to get closer to him. Mischievous, you whisper into his ear again, "Can't wait to rip your clothes off."

Seeing his uneasy eyes glancing around, afraid people might hear what you said to him makes you want to tease him more.

With your body shielding your hand gliding down the front of his body, you silently stroke his crotch while looking at him through your lashes.

You stand on your tiptoe and purr into his ear, "I want you, baby."

His Adam's apple bobbing in his throat as he looks down at you, "we're almost here," he lowly says, taking your hand away from him to hold hands with him.

Changbin steers your body out of the elevator the second it chimes open, wrapping his arms tight around you.

"You bad girl!" He mutters into your ear as he pushes you up the door of your apartment, kissing you so hard to stop you from laughing out of satisfaction.

"It's your fault for being so hot," you playfully respond.

The plan was you're showing him his birthday present first but with this much desire due to the lack of sexual interactions for these past few days makes you crave each other that there's no need for words when your bodies know what they want.

Your hands freely roam around his body, touching and feeling all of his muscles against his shirt, smooth and firm under your touch.

His hand slips under the hem of your dress to knead on your ass with your leg resting on his knee, an arm holding the nape of your neck as he kisses you hard.

"Gosh! I want you so much," you sigh against his lips.

Lowering your hand from the opening of his shirt to the waistband of his jeans.

"Can I?" You ask with a sultry voice.

Usually, you would go for what you want and you bet he knows it too. Tonight is an exception, you want him to make you work a little for it so you can show him how far you'll go for him.

It seems to be a surprise for him too that you ask for his permission. He shot a smirk at you and asks, "Do you want it?"

You eagerly nod, "Yes."

"Yes, what?" He raises an eyebrow at you.

"Yes, please?" You correct your former answer.

You slip your hand under the waistband but stop yourself from going further, setting the limits yourself.

"I want it, Bin," you sigh with a hint of desperation in your voice.

He squeezes your thigh as he presses a haste kiss on your lips, "how much do you want it?"

You keep gazing into his eyes with his face merely inches away from yours, "very much."

"Yeah?" He puts your hand inside his jeans and lets you wrap your hand around his hardening length.

"I can show you much I want it," you tell him with your thumb circles the tip of his cock.

You press a kiss on his neck then drag your mouth close to his ear, "with my mouth."

Changbin likes being the one giving than receiving, tonight, you want him to be on the receiving end. He never asks for it but you know how much he likes it when you get down on your knees with your mouth open for him.

You sit with your legs folded under you close to the end of the bed where Changbin is sitting with his legs open. You take your time working open his jeans, building the already heavy tension in the room.

There's no better way to show how much you want him than by offering yourself to please him, or in this case, your mouth.

You take his hand and let it glide around your face, neck, and chest. You draw it close to your mouth to take his index finger in your mouth, giving him a taste of what's coming for him.

"Is this your new trick?"

"New and improved," you answer with a sly grin.

Before you start, you unbutton his shirt and part it open to reveal his muscular upper body, you raise your body to kiss him and from there, continue the kisses down his body.

You kiss his magnificent pecs and down his abs.

Slowly wrapping your hand around his cock, you lower your mouth to take him little by little. The last time you took all of him, you found yourself gagging non-stop that it's embarrassing to even remember it.

You remind yourself to take it slowly, taking him as much as you can and using your hand to compensate for the rest you can't take.

How to give a good blow job? First, you have to enjoy giving it and that's what Changbin is seeing. You tangle his hand in your hair to let him tug at it and maintain eye contact with him.

"Taking me so well," he coos with a tender caress on your cheek.

You manage to put on a smile with your mouth full of him.

"Is this how much you want me?" He asks with his hand resting on the top of your head.

You respond by heartily taking him more, sucking him harder, and delightfully humming as you enjoy pleasing him. His head is thrown back as a raw groan spilled out of his mouth and his hand tugs at your hair, a little too hard but that only tells you that you've been doing things right.

Although your mouth is getting tired and sloppy, you refuse to stop when you know he's close to his release.

As if he hears your mind, he tugs harder at your hair and repeatedly mutters, "So close, baby, so close."

You keep going, closing your eyes while reminding yourself to breathe. You put your hand away and take him as much as you can, knowing that he's close.

A while later, you feel his warm bodily fluid filling your mouth, shooting the back of your throat so that you almost choke.

Slowly, you pull him out of your mouth and open your mouth wide, sticking out your tongue to show him the white of his seed inside.

You stare into his eyes before swallowing it all down and putting on your brightest smile for him after.

"How did I do?" You softly ask him, resting your head on his thick thigh.

Changbin crashes his mouth against yours, taking whatever is left in your mouth to taste himself on you. His tongue slithers in to deepen the kiss and by the time he lets go, you gasp for air.

He lets you rest your head on his thigh and that way, he can endearingly brush your hair to the side as he finally, "So good!"

There's something different about you tonight.

Changbin meant it in the best way. You're so needy, so clingy, always asking his permission for everything when you would just do anything you want because whatever it is, he would like it.

Probably it's the talk you both had a few days ago that caused this change and he did want this but he also wants you to feel free to do as you please.

Nothing good ever came out of force and Changbin realized that he can't force you to do things you don't want, things that go against your nature.

So what if he likes you more than you like him? Changbin should feel lucky that he finds you, someone who can tolerate his nature of short-temper and stubbornness, who can accept his past and patiently handle him in both good and bad times, on top of all that, you reciprocate his feelings in your own way.

"Bin? Baby?" You softly call.

It snaps him out of his head as his eyes land on the sight of your naked body laying on the bed. That soft skin invites him to touch you all over while that smile calls for his lips to kiss.

"How do you want me, baby?" You ask, crawling on the bed and sitting facing him.

There are so many things crossed his head the second that question was asked, he can't settle on one.

You slowly lower your body on the back, lying on your back, and put your hands around your head.

"Like this?"

Changbin stands at the end of the bed, still unable to choose one out of the many options.

Then you turn over on the bed, getting on all fours and exposing your rear to him.

"Or like this?"

He's at a loss of words as you look over your shoulder with your hair curtained the frame of your beautiful face, smiling at him while moving your body back and forth on the bed, enticing him with the sight of your wet cunt.

Changbin settles with the simplest option which is to be with you, it doesn't matter whether he gets that physical satisfaction or not, he wants to be with you, wholeheartedly.

He climbs onto the bed and crawls over your body, carefully, settling his body on top of you.

"Of course, you choose to take me from behind like you always do," you lowly giggle as you look at him.

"A man of principle," you mutter before letting him kiss you.

He kisses you deep with one arm propped against the bed to prevent him from putting all of his weight on you. From there, he makes a long trail of kisses down your body.

You let out a soft moan for every kiss he planted, on your neck, shoulder, down your spine, on the back of your thighs. You start to fist the sheet as he uses his mouth to dive into your wetness, making you even more drenched than before.

"Want you so much, baby," you mutter as he stacks his body on top of you again.

Changbin is more than eager to make that happen for you. Putting his hands on each side of your waist, he slowly pushes his cock inside you from behind as you quietly whimper in both pain and pleasure.

"Do I feel good, baby?" You ask as he lowers himself on you again.

His arms make two pillars on each side of you and gently kisses you before answering, "Always."

You're about to say something when he lowers his mouth on you again.

"You feel good inside me too, baby," you tell him.

He starts thrusting into you, slow yet intensely deep. He curves an arm around your neck to angle your head, tilting it upward so he can place a long peck on your lips.

You moan against his mouth as he steadily pulsates his hips into you at a steady pace.

"So deep inside me, baby."

He looks at your blissful face with your eyes closed, humming in pleasure.

"Mmh... so good!" You murmur again as you pull him for a kiss.

The sexual chemistry you have for each other is unparalleled but this, being one with you, connecting and bonding, is nothing like he ever felt before.

It's like a newfound pleasure that he knows he'll rarely get in life, it's special.

You turn your head to look him in the eyes, "You're going to cum for me, right, Bin baby?"

He grabs your chin and slightly parts your mouth open before kissing it.

"I'm going to make you cum first before doing that," he says with a smirk.

"Hot and a gentleman too. What are the odds?" you say with a seductive smile.

Changbin picks up the pace and launches himself deeper into you. The skin-slapping sounds grow louder in the room. You can't contain your moans anymore, you let them spill out of your mouth as your hands claw at the sheet under you.

He looks at your face basked in unadulterated pleasure with your eyes locked in a gaze with his and a soft smile that doesn't waver even for a second.

"I'm so close, baby," you tell him.

He hastily kisses your lips, leaving them wet when he pulls away.

"You can let go," he mutters with another haste kiss.

You turn your head to the side, clutching at it as you're getting closer to your high. He can feel it from the way you keep clenching around him, sucking him deeper into you that he can sense his release is coming closer as well.

You plant your mouth on his big arm to muffle your moan as waves of pleasure wash over you, whining as Changbin keeps riding past your high.

Using his forearm as a pillow to rest your head on, your body slouching on the bed while you're relishing your high.

"Cum for me, baby," you tell him, in case he's wondering if he's allowed to continue or not.

Your hand finds his on the bed and clasped it together as he thrusts you at a restless pace, drowning himself in the way your walls flutter, tightly wrapped around him.

"Please, baby, please?"

As if he needs you to plead to make him cum when you always know how to make him aroused with your seductive words and lewd noises you make.

"Please, cum inside me," you whine with eyes screwed shut, jutting your ass for him to provide him more depth.

He groans as his cock buries to the hilt inside you and it only takes him a few more thrusts to finally cum.

He collapses on top of you, spooning your body with his big arms wrapped around your neck. He tilts your head to kiss you, your face, and the nape of your neck.

"I love you," he silently mutters under his breath and hurriedly kisses you, pouring all of his heart out through the kiss.

Changbin doesn't care if you don't say it back.

He loves you and that's all you needed to know.

The sound of you scrambling off the bed can be hard.

The sounds of you running out of the bedroom is even harder to miss. He opens his eyes to find you returning and grinning as you notice he's awake.

"Where are you going?" He asks while rubbing the sleep of his eyes.

You come back to bed and crawl over to him, "I was thinking of waking you up with your birthday present."

That gets him intrigued but confused him as well because he counted the birthday party you threw for him as a present already.

And for the sex, Changbin counted it as a heavenly sent.

"You have a birthday present for me?" He asks.

You sit on his lap and lean your back against his chest, "yes, but it's so heavy to take it here," you share.

He raises an eyebrow, forming a puzzled look on his face.

"It's a bowling ball," you tell him with a wide grin.

Changbin presses a kiss on your cheek, "Thank you, baby!"

You turn your head and put his arms around you, "you don't sound excited," you pout.

He rests his head on the crook of your neck, catching the scent of yours and his mixed together in the fabric of the shirt you're wearing.

"Because I'm more excited about being a loving boyfriend to you," he answers.

You coo as you softly scratch his bedhead, "look at you! A heartbreaker turned a committed boyfriend," you say with an impressed smile.

Changbin captures your lips in a closed-mouth kiss considering that he's just woken up.

You tighten the arms around you and put your hands on top, "and I'm going to be a super caring and clingy girlfriend," you jokingly say.

"That's what you want, right baby?"

He jerks his head away to glare at you and purses his lips, "That's not what I meant. I—"

"Oh? You changed your mind again?" You hastily conclude even though he hasn't finished talking yet.

He tickles your sides, making you jolt on his lap, laughing. Once you calm down, he continues speaking with a rather soft tone.

"I was wrong to say that you didn't treat me right and I'm sorry," he sincerely delivers his apology.

You smile at him and nod, "Apology accepted."

He leans in to kiss you and not letting you break the kiss with his hand steadily angles your head his way.

"What was that?" You ask out of the blue.

Changbin immediately thinks that he did something wrong or bad. With a panicked voice, he tries to calmly ask, "What is what?"

"Last night."

So that means the sex? The one where he thinks it's heavenly sent?

His first thought always goes to his performance.

"Was it bad?" He slightly stutters.

You softly kiss his hand "No, it's oh... so good," you answer with a dreamy sigh.

That, he agrees. He can let out a breath of relief at that.

"But..." you add and his heart stops, afraid that it's going to be the worse part of it all.

You look at him and say, "It was so sweet."

Changbin smiles at your words, that means he's successfully delivered his profound feelings for you. He places a long, lingering kiss and his heart quakes inside his chest.

The more he trusts his feelings, the less afraid he is to say it.

"I love you."

You put your hand in his soft curls, "what did I do to deserve hearing those words twice in less than 24 hours?"

Here he thought that you didn't catch the first one or more like, he feared that you take it as a joke. It takes him aback that you did take them as they are, a confession deep from within him, from the bottom of his heart.

"It's supposed to be your birthday but why you're the one giving me a special present, mmh?" You ask while softly scratching his head with your fingers.

You rest your head on his shoulder and softly kiss his cheek, "I love you, Bin."

It's like a dream to hear you say those words back to him that he takes quite a long time to convince himself that he's alive and awake.

"I want to be with you as long as..." you stop yourself from continuing and decide to leave it for the future to finish the sentence for you.

You gently nuzzle your nose in his neck and decide to end it with those three words again, saying them in utmost sincerity and steadfast conviction.

"I love you."

Hearing that still feels like a dream, but the way his heart shrank whenever he hears it is prove that this is real. That somehow makes him feel like you love him more than he loves you.

Good thing that Changbin is a competitive person.

He shakes his head in disagreement and confidently remarks, "No, I love you more."

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iamqueenpotato · 1 year

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Hurts Like Hell Final Part

Azriel x Reader

A/N- This constant support that you all have given me is something I will always be thankful for, seeing you guys enjoy my writing has been the best thing ❤️ This is the last part! Took me a bit longer to make sure I ended it correctly, kinda had a little burnout this past week 🙃 so hopefully, you guys are satisfied with the ending! Enjoy!

⚠️: None!

Word Count: 4.3k

Part One Part Two

Healing wasn’t easy, it took a lot of willpower on your end. But the more you tried, the better you began to feel. Lucien started giving you more tasks, and more errands to run. Forcing you to get out of the house, interact with new people, and enjoy the sunlight on the walks the two of you took. You never once held in your feelings, never let them have the chance to take control. Though there were days you wanted to do nothing but lie in bed, especially when certain memories would resurface, ones of a certain Illyrian. And there were times you wanted to beg Lucien to leave you be, to let you spend your days trapped in your room, away from it all but you would remind yourself of the why of it, remembering that going back down that road of despair would cause more damage than good.

Lucien admired the perseverance you showed. He reminded you daily of how proud he was of you, continuing to be the supportive friend you needed. It would be a lie if you said you haven't cried in these past couple of months, there were plenty of tears shed during the late nights, during any time of the day, but you truly were feeling that your heart was finally healing, all of the fears and doubts that sat so deep within you were slowly becoming a distant memory. In the process, you learned to do something you thought you never could do. You finally learned how to love yourself. Mistakes and all.

Learning how to love yourself was difficult, it took many tries to believe that you were capable of it but you discovered you were worthy of love, even the parts that you had despised for years, the pieces of you that you had long deemed unlovable. It was a time you spent truly discovering who you were, and who you could become, with and without your mate. Though heartbreak and immense pain caused you to arrive at this moment. To this point of healing. It had benefited you more than you would ever have realized. The best part of it all was you were never alone, you had Lucien, and when they could, your friends from the inner circle would come and visit you, and spend a day or two catching up. And when they left to go back home, there was a large part of you that wanted to follow.

Then after a few months had passed, you decided it was time to go home. You were ready, to be back in Velaris. To see Azriel. And have that conversation that the both of you had put off for far too long. There was once anger and heartache within you, the two things that you had thought would occupy you for years, but when you began to change, and you learned to accept them, they had begun to dim. Though your heart still ached for your mate, and the pain that he had put himself and you through had dampened a bit your spirit, you were prepared to talk to him, to hear him out. To see if that bond between you two was still worth repairing.

It was late into the night when you decided to tell Lucien of your plans, as you walked down the steps of the cabin, you found him lounging on the sitting room couch, various papers in his hands. When he spotted you he placed them down, moving over so you could sit next to him. “It’s late, what are you still doing up?” He asked.

“I am ready to go back.” Your words came out quick, like a breath you had been holding in for too long.

Lucien sat up straight, his eyes studying your face, trying to find any sort of second-guessing from you. But this was a decision you thought about for a while and you were certain this is what your next step was going to be. When Lucien realized there was no doubt in your choice he smiled, pulling you into a tight embrace. “I am so proud of you.” He pulled away, cupping your hands within his. You couldn’t help but smile back.

“Lucien there are no words that can express how grateful I am for your support, I will never forget what you have done for me.” You choked out, not expecting to cry saying goodbye. Though it wasn’t truly goodbye, Lucien became your best friend through this, and going forward he would always be a part of your life. But the time you spent with him, the healing that so greatly involved him, it would be hard to leave this place behind. He brought his hand to your cheek, wiping away the tears. You looked up at him, seeing the freshly fallen tears down his own cheeks. “You have been by my side this entire time, even when I thought I didn’t deserve anything, so thank you, Lucien. For being my friend.” You smiled, letting out a breathy laugh, and he smiled right back.

“I am going to miss having you around here Y/N.” Lucien spoke quietly, as if he were trying to dim the emotion within him. You wrapped your arms around his neck, hugging him with all the strength you had.

“You have to come to visit, you don’t have a choice.” You spoke, burying your head in his shoulder. He wrapped his arms around your waist, you could feel his tears as they fell onto your shirt.

“Yes ma’am” He choked out as he pulled away, smiling so brightly at you. The two of you stared at each other for a moment, wiping your tears away, both of your noses sniffling. Then the two of you broke out into a fit of laughter, that was soon followed by more tears. And more hugging.

The next morning you awoke on the couch, not having ever gone back up to your room, the two of you spent the rest of the night talking, about anything, the night was filled with many moments of tears but there wasn’t sadness in any of it, Lucien made sure to tell you over and over how proud he was of you and admiring the strength you had built over these months, which only seemed to make you cry more.

Lucien’s figure was spread across the carpet by the fire, still sound asleep as you sat up. You grabbed the pillow behind you, softly throwing it towards Lucien, aiming for his chest but instead landing directly on his face with a loud smack. A little bubble of laughter escaped your throat as he rolled over, groaning, pulling the pillow away from his face. “Maybe I won’t miss you.” He joked, giving you a small smirk, his eyes still closed. You gasped, grabbing another pillow, this time throwing it with a little more force. Laughing loudly you stood up, making your way toward the bathroom to shower. It was time to get ready for your trip back home.

You had written a letter to Cassian the night before, telling him of your plans, though you got no response, the sudden knock at the cabin door could only be one person. You placed the last bit of your clothes in your bag before rushing over to the door, opening it up with eagerness. Cassian smiled widely at you, he stretched his arms wide, inviting you to embrace him, which you did without hesitation. He hugged you so tight it felt like you would crack in half, but you smiled through it, holding him with equal ferocity.

“I had to stop myself from flying over here last night, Nesta actually had to hold me back.” Cassian laughed as he placed you back down on the ground.

You shared his laughter, your smile growing wider each second until your cheeks hurt. “Who else knows?”

“Just Nesta, for now, I assume she told Feyre, but I made sure they said nothing to Az, my lips are sealed this time.” You felt Lucien appear behind you, Cassian reached behind you to give him a firm handshake, while his other hand rested on Lucien’s shoulder. “Thank you for taking care of her, she’s family, and I wouldn’t have anyone else by her side during this,” Cassian added, the sentiment was almost enough to make you cry. Cas smiled at you, motioning to move past you into the cabin. “I’ll grab your bag Y/N, let you say goodbye.”

You turned towards Lucien, your chin trembled as you gave him one last hug. “Thank you again, Lucien, I will see you sometime soon.” You pulled away.

He smiled at you, a strong hold on your hand. “Remember you are strong, you are worthy of love Y/N. Don’t accept anything less than what you deserve.”

“I promise. You do the same.” You spoke as you turned to Cassian, who was walking back down the stairs, your bag in hand. Lucien let go of your hand, standing in the doorway as Cassian lifted you in his arms. “Goodbye Lucien.”

“Goodbye Y/N.” And with that you were in the air, the cabin just a small spec across the land, but always would remain a large piece within your heart.

Velaris was as beautiful as you remembered, you stared down at the city below, admiring all that you had missed so dearly.

The two of you landed in front of your townhome, you took a moment to steady yourself, one breath in, one breath out. Cassian held your hand, smiling down at you. “I need you to close your eyes for me kiddo.”

You looked at him with skepticism in your eyes. “Why?” You asked.

“Do you trust me?”

“Usually, but at this particular moment, I’m not so sure.” You laughed as Cassian gave you a playful nudge. He moved behind you, placing one large hand over your eyes. He walked slowly, guiding you to what you figured was the front door. “Cassian what is going on?” You questioned, hoping he wasn’t tricking you in some way. You heard the door unlock, a quiet array of whispers. Anticipation ate at your gut as Cassian slowly moved his hand away, and when you opened your eyes, you found all your friends standing in your living room. All of them yelled an array of “Welcome home!” Mor was the first one to hug you, then Nesta and Feyre, then finally Rhys. Amren gave you a small smile from behind her glass. You spotted Elain sitting quietly in the corner, who offered you a small wave, and you politely returned the gesture. You turned back towards Cassian, placing your hands on your hips. “You couldn’t keep it a secret huh?” Though your tone was filled with sarcasm, you had a giant smile across your face.

“I couldn’t ruin the surprise. What can I say? Everyone was super excited to hear you were coming back.” Cassian smiled, shrugging his shoulders. But there was one person still missing. You did not see him when you walked in, and as your eyes scanned the room he was nowhere to be found. Rhys came up behind you, his hand resting on your shoulder as he leaned down to speak quietly in your ear. “He has been on a mission for the past couple of days. He will be back tonight. I did not tell him you were coming.” As you looked towards the Highlord you mentally slammed your walls back up, but you nodded in acknowledgment.

The rest of the day you spent drinking and catching up with everyone. It felt so good to be back home with the family you thought you never would have, and when you looked around the room you mentally noted that if things worked out between you and your mate, you would buy more furniture, with Cassian sitting on the ground, Amren’s short stature taking the entire couch, Rhys and Feyre cuddled up on the chair, while Nesta on the other, you didn’t have the seating to entertain. But the thought made you smile, who would’ve known of the many problems you would have faced in your life, not having the space to entertain your friends would be one of them. And when it was time to play cards, everyone found a spot on the floor.

“I think I am going to head out.” A small voice spoke up above the rest. You looked over to Elain, who hadn’t said a single word the entire time, stand up and swiftly move towards the exit, you and your friends watched as she closed the door behind her.

You placed down your cards. “No cheating.” You spoke before standing up and following Elain out the door.

“Elain!” You called out. She stopped moving, turning to face you. “Are you okay?” She kept her head low as you approached her, her hands folded in front of her.

“Y/N why are you so nice to me?” She choked out. “I played a part in the fallout between you and Azriel.”

“Did you do it on purpose?” You asked.

Her head shot upward, Elain’s eyes were wide as she stared at you. “No-no of course not, I would never.”

You placed a hand on her arm, smiling shyly at her. “Then I have no reason to be anything but nice to you. Elain I never had anything against you, I think you are a wonderful woman. Things got complicated between Azriel and me and somehow you ended up in the center of it, but if you didn’t do it on purpose, then why should I be mad?”

Elain smiled at you, and a single tear fell down her cheek as she moved to hug you. “Thank you.” She whispered. You would have never thought that Elain would have become this troubled over the situation, but maybe she truly saw it as her fault, and you were glad that you were the person to tell her otherwise.

She pulled away, waving goodbye as she walked down the street. When you walked back into your home, your friends gazes followed your movements as you found your seat back in the circle. “What?” You asked.

“Oh, nothing,” Nesta spoke up. “It’s good to have you back, Y/N.” She smiled, softly nudging you with her shoulder. You all went back to playing your game and you couldn’t tell if it was just in your head but it felt as though more pieces of your soul healed. And you could thank your found family for it.

Once the sun set, your friends decided it was time to leave, after a long goodbye you were left standing in the middle of your living room. Being alone in your townhome again brought back so many emotions, both good and bad. But it felt right. It no longer was a place that you associated with your pain. You knew Azriel wouldn’t be home for some time. But waiting made a small bundle of nerves grow in your stomach, you rubbed at your chest as if that would help the growing nerves.

But that also meant you had time to truly prepare yourself for this conversation. As you walked around your home, you didn’t realize how much you missed this place, the shared library, your kitchen, and all the memories it holds. The photos that lined the hallway walls of you and your mate, the family you shared. Though you were gone for months nothing had changed, it was as if you were never gone in the first place.

You walked into your bedroom, the last place you truly talked to Azriel. His leathers were tossed all around his side of the room, though your side of the room was clean. Except for the fact that your side of the bed had been slept in, while Azriels was still made. Confused by it all you left the room, opting to wait in front of the fire until he came home. You picked at the edge of the chair, second-guessing yourself if this was the right decision. The doubtful thoughts filling your head, what if he didn’t forgive you? What if he finally decided to move on? But remembering how far you came, how much you needed to do this, you stuck through it and continued to wait.

It was nearly midnight when you heard the lock on the door turn. You stood quickly, watching the door as it slowly opened. Azriel stepped in, throwing his things to the side, he was dressed in his leathers, slowly removing the top layer, being in his presence felt different, but better. Gods you missed him, though you couldn't let yourself run back to him, not until you heard what he had to say.

He didn’t notice you at first, his gaze solely focused on the floor, his hair was a mess, and if you looked closely enough you could see the dark circles underneath his eyes. His shadows darted towards you, alerting him of your presence. His head whipped around to look at you, his movements frozen as his eyes widened though it was as if he didn’t believe you were here, standing in front of him. “Hi, Az.” You whispered.

Your voice seemed to shake whatever trance he was in. He moved to you faster than you could react, rushing over to you but quickly stopped in his tracks as if he wasn’t sure if you wanted him near you. But when you didn’t step back, instead moving closer he wrapped his arms around you, pulling you into a tight embrace. He buried his head in the crook of your neck, running his hands along your back. You didn’t pull away, not startled by his sudden movements, you prepared yourself for this, you had missed the warmth that he gave you. You slowly wrapped your arms around him, returning the embrace. “You came home.” He spoke, his voice cracking.

You pulled away and you could have sworn you heard a small sound of protest come from Azriel as you moved the two of you to the couch. “I thought it was time we talked about everything.”

As the two of you sat down, Azriel held on to your hand, you watched his chin tremble as he looked towards you. “I am so sorry Y/N.”

“I am too.” You responded.

Azriel shook his head. “You have nothing to apologize for, this is my fault alone.”

“But what I said-”

Azriel gripped your hand tighter, rubbing his thumb across your palm. “I deserved it, I hurt you Y/N and I am sorry. For what I put you through. There is no excuse for my behavior, I don’t deserve you and the love you give. I never meant to hurt you, I didn’t realize what I was doing until you left Rita’s that night. Seeing you cry, made my entire world crash down. I-” Azriel paused, looking down at his hands that were now interlaced within yours, trying to center himself. “I am not good with emotions, I know I love you, gods I love you so much. But I think pushing people aside and those emotions are how I think I am protecting them. But in reality, I hurt the person I care for the most.”

“What were you trying to protect me from?” You asked.

“Myself, my job. After everything that happened with Rhys and Feyre, I was scared. Each time I went on missions, I kept that love for you a secret because I was so afraid that something would happen to me, if I were ever to get caught. They would find out about you. They would use you to get to me. And I would never forgive myself if I put you in harm's way. But in the process when I pushed it so far down, I made it worse. ” He choked out, you could only stare at him, unsure of what your next words would be.

Azriel took a deep breath as he continued. “I got so engrossed in my work, that I neglected the one good thing in my life. When Feyre asked if I could keep an eye on Elain, it became another job. I said she needed me because I thought that is what I needed to do for Feyre and for her, to follow orders. She was never anything else to me. I am so sorry you thought that something was going on, that I made it seem like there was. You are all I have ever needed and I was an idiot to mess it up. These mistakes are mine to bear, not yours. Y/N you remind me where I belong, you have shown me love that I never thought I would be capable of knowing. I should have been a better mate, you deserve so much more than I am. I hate that I couldn’t see you struggling, I hate that I wasn’t there for you. I hate myself. For all of it.” Azriel let his head drop as his body shook with sobs, it hurt you to see him like this, but after hearing his words, seeing what this had done to him, what the two of you had been through, and although there was still more to work on between you two, you knew you wouldn’t want to live in a world without him by your side.

“Please don’t hate yourself.” You spoke quietly, watching him as he slowly pulled away from you.

Azriel didn’t look your way as he spoke, his voice hoarse. “It is what I deserve. I deserve worse than hate. What I did to you-” He paused wiping his face with the back of his hands. “I can never forgive myself, I swore I would protect you, I promised myself I would never make you cry, never cause you pain. But I couldn’t keep that promise.”

Bringing your hand along his jaw, you raised his head gently, making him look at you. Rubbing soothing circles across his cheeks. “I will not lie and say that I wasn’t hurt by this, gods Azriel it broke me. I never thought I would have gotten myself out of that hole. But this bond, this light between us, it is something to be treasured, to be loved. It gave me the strength to heal, to be better so we can be better. But for that to work, I need honesty, and clarity. I need you to be the male I know you are. The one who is fearless, who cares so much for his family, the one that I fell in love with all those years ago, the one that still has my heart.” You paused, holding back those tears that so desperately wanted to fall. “Don’t block me out. I am your mate, for the good and the bad. I understand the need to protect me, but I need to protect you too. We are equals after all, and we have to look out for each other.”

Azriel leaned into your touch as more tears fell down his cheeks. “How can you forgive me? I failed you.”

You moved one of his hands, placing it above your heart. You opened that bond that had been closed off for what felt like an eternity. Letting that warmth from you flow towards him, to show him that you had always held on to hope, even when it felt out of reach. “There is no way to learn things in life without failing, the thought of losing you scared me, so much that I became paranoid and assumed things that were not there, I should’ve talked to you instead of thinking everything would go back to normal on its own. A relationship takes work, and even when it gets hard, I don’t ever want to know who we are without each other. You are a piece of me that will be with me forever. I can’t help but love you.” You pulled on the bond once more, and finally, Azriel opened his side. The sudden rush of fear and guilt that came from him made your breath hitch, but you did not pull away, instead, you pushed more love toward him, in return he leaned his forehead against yours, sending a wave of love down the bond. The tears finally fell as you closed your eyes, cherishing Azriel and everything he was. Faults and all.

“I love you Y/N, nothing and no one could change the way I feel about you. You are light in this dark world of mine, a blooming rose in a garden of thorns. I promise to be the male you deserve. If you’ll have me.” He wiped away your tears, his hands remaining on your cheeks. You nodded, interlacing your fingers with his. Azriel let out a sigh of relief before softly placing his lips on yours. The bond bloomed with so much love between you and him. And as his lips lingered on yours, you finally felt that you were back where you belonged, the hope within you became a blazing fire and not the dim flame it once was. The connection you two shared was never something wild to tame, but something to run with, it was meant to make mistakes, and you two would learn to fix them together.

“I love you Azriel.” You whispered as you pulled away, your hands still tightly gripped onto his.

He smiled back at you, the smile that warmed your heart, the one that sent butterflies throughout your body. “I love you Y/N, with all that I am.”

And when he kissed you again, it was a promise. One that meant change, for a better future. For the both of you.

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azrielslightintheshadows · 6 months

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Shadows and tears

So this is a series about Azriel and reader. English is not my first language so please excuse any mistakes. I hope you like it!

Summary: Reader is a tortured soul who barely escaped the brutality of the Illyrian camps finding shelter in the Day Court. Her identity was well hidden until she caught the attention of the Night Court’s Shadowsinger. Will the mating bond be enough for their love to settle in?

Warnings: angst, mentions of abuse and trauma

Masterlist

Prologue , Chapter 1 , Chapter 2 , Chapter 3 , Chapter 4 , Chapter 5, Chapter 7 , Chapter 8, Chapter 9, Chapter 10

Chapter 6

I need her

You landed in Helion’s court, and to your surprise Helion was waiting for you by the gates of his palace. Rhysand must have informed him. You thought and couldn’t stop the tears as your dear friend opened his arms waiting to embrace you in a loving warm hug, and he did just that as sobs left your mouth, your body shaking. He already knew what happened thanks to Rhysand again and you made a mental note to thank him when you see him again for saving you from a long heartbreaking conversation.

“Wanna go inside?” he asked you and you nodded in return.

He guided you in his office and you spent the rest of the evening drinking wine listening to him talk about what has happened in the day court while you were gone.

“Helion I’m so sorry…” your eyes watered again.

“Why sweetheart?” he asked.

“There were times that I thought about not coming back here, I had so much fun, I thought I could be a part of their family” you explained avoiding his gaze.

“Y/n that’s why I wanted to send you back, I knew that you belong to the night court, you can fit there, do way more things that you are meant to do… there…not here.” He said and continued “also I had a feeling that the shadowsinger is your mate…” he lowered his gaze, now he was the one who couldn’t look into your eyes.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” you asked.

“I didn’t want to get your hopes up about meeting your mate and then be wrong” he explained.

Letting a sigh, you leaned back into the couch and stared the ceiling. Million thoughts ran through your mind making you feel dizzy. “He will want to see you” Helion said interrupting the chaos in your head.

“No” the power in your voice surprised both of you, Helion only nodded not wanting to pressure you. “There’s nothing more for him to say, we spent so much time together, he was different with me… I thought this meant something but he ruined everything. The bond means nothing to me if it’s the only reason he wants to be with me.” You continued and the decision was pretty clear for you, you had felt a tug to the bond when you were flying here so he knew, you blocked him and continued your flight.

“Helion…. Can you break the bond?” you asked and Helion stared at you wide-eyed.

“y/n are you sure you want that?” he asked. “Yes I’m sure” you replied a determined look on your face. “If we do this then both of you will feel tremendous pain, I have to grasp the bond and rip it off you both, it will feel like I’m ripping a part of your soul, and the emptiness….the emptiness has caused faes to kill themselves” he explained with a pained look.

“I want to do this.” You repeated.

“Okay, go get some rest and we will discuss this again tomorrow” you tried to protest but he kept a finger up “IF you still want to do this tomorrow then okay…” he concluded.

You left his office and went back to your old room; it was still the same as you left it. With a sigh you fell on your bed and slept, you will need to be well-rested tomorrow.

Helion spent the night thinking, he wrote a quick letter explaining what you are planning to do and sent it to Rhysand praying to the cauldron that someone from the inner circle will be able to change your mind.

Velaris

Rhysand was restless, he was pacing back and forth in the dining room, all eyes on him, only Azriel and Elain weren’t there. Azriel disappeared as soon as he felt the bond, blocking everyone from his mind and Elain left in tears as soon as Rhysand scolded her and threatened to ban her from his court if she went anywhere near Azriel again. Feyre surprised everyone when she agreed with Rhysand and Nesta kept her mouth shut knowing that Elain truly fucked up this time. They wouldn’t ban her of course but they had to make a point.

He kept pacing until a piece of paper fell in his hands, everyone stared at him in question. “Oh no” he said as soon as he finished the last line pulling his hair. “What is it?” Feyre asked leaving her chair to get the letter.

“She wants to break the bond?” she asked a sad expression on her face. A gasp startled them as Elain appeared from behind the door. “See what you did? Are you enjoying this?” Mor shouted and Amren placed a hand on her shoulder to calm her down.

Rhysand tried with all of his powers to break through Azriel’s shields, scrapping to show him the severity of the situation.

What do you want? Azriel’s question rang through his mind.

You need to get back here right fucking now Az it’s urgent Rhysand replied slightly using his High Lord voice.

Azriel’s breath caught in his throat, did something happen to you? He rushed on his feet and let his shadows embrace him moving him to the house of the wind. He saw all of his friends, he could feel their anger, their worry but also sadness.

“What happened Rhys?” he was shaking, trying to keep a cool demeanour and a cold mask over his face.

“She wants to break the bond.” Rhys replied and stared at his shoes not wanting to see the look on his friend’s face.

“Can she do that?” Azriel’s voice was shaking and barely above a whisper.

“Helion can.” It was Feyre who replied wanting to save her mate from this awful conversation.

“I have to go there, maybe I can change her mind” Azriel stated waiting for the approval from his high lord, not that he wouldn’t go if Rhys denied him, but he hoped that maybe his friend would offer to accompany him in this hard trip.

“I will come with you” Mor said getting up. Azriel stared at her and she offered him a tight smile “I like to think that we became friends while she was here, maybe I can help you change her mind” she continued.

Azriel nodded and headed for the balcony but was stopped by Elain who ran to him falling on her knees and hugging his legs. “Don’t go…please, let her break the bond, I can ask Helion to do the same for me and then we can be together, nothing will stand between us” everyone stared in shock.

“Don’t you get it?” Azriel screamed so loud that Elain flinched and fell backwards crawling away from the shadowsinger, he was terrifying, his eyes wide his wings tense and widespread, his hands in tight fists and shadows frantic around him, his voice rough and cold… his siphons almost breaking from the power that trembled Velaris. “I fell for her and my stupid mind held me back, I thought it was meant to be three sisters for three brothers but I was wrong. I need her” he kept screaming his voice breaking at the end.

“I need her” he repeated.

@cleverzonkwombatsludge

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blainesebastian · 1 year

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fate

words: 2,843 ship: austin butler x reader summary: (anon request) “austin broke your heart in 2021 and you run in to him or get seated with him at SAG or something. angst but fluffy ending” notes: thanks for the request! appreciate all of you :) warnings: none tag list: @killerqueenfan, @karamelcoveredolicity, @elizabethrosecresswell, @gigisworldsstuff, @stylespresleyhearted

You’re not the biggest believer in fate or destiny—just seems like more trouble than it’s worth. You feel like you’ve done the whole dog and pony show of ‘everything happens for a reason’ for a long time to explain misfortunes and it’s just…utter bullshit. Not everything happens in some sort of balance, not every cause has an equal effect. Sometimes bad shit just happens and at a certain point you can’t just say it’s part of some extra cosmic plan or otherworldly design.

Sometimes things just happen by chance and that’s it.

At least, that’s what you tell yourself as you stare at your reflection in the posh mirror at the SAG awards, water dripping from your face and back into the sink below. You’re…you don’t even care if you’ve messed up any makeup, though to be fair, you’ve secured it with so many putties and sprays that a nuclear bomb probably couldn’t melt it away. You thought that splashing water on your face would be a good idea at this point, attempting to ground yourself into reality because…

You made your way to your assigned table and glanced at the placard next to yours and—

It’s your ex-boyfriend. Or well, not exactly your ex. Your…ex-something, ex-almost.

It’s Austin’s.

“Fuck me.” You mumble, tipping your head back softly to let out an unamused laugh. You grab a paper towel and dab at your neck, your jawline, removing some remnants of water before taking a good look at yourself again.

Not too bad really, most of the makeup unaffected. Just some touch up on eyeliner and lipstick wouldn’t hurt. You sigh heavily and open up your clutch to do so.

Thing is, this is all two-fold.

For one, you didn’t think you’d ever see Austin again. You both were on the verge of dating two years ago but something came up, something happened because that’s what always happens. Something got in the way that you can neither put your finger on now or care about. The point is, the relationship between you two fizzled up, faded away. Or maybe you let him go, you can’t remember. It feels a lot like heartbreak now but maybe…hindsight has the perception of being clear, right now it just seems fucking foggy.

Secondly, he looks fucking incredible because of course you’ve seen him out there. Just a few glances in the crowd, amongst others, holding conversations with honest eyes and vibrant smiles, standing out in scarlet red. Made to be noticed—the lines of his shoulders and jawline strong, the confident boyish loops in his blonde hair, the soft little laugh he does when someone compliments him. And then above all he goes for red, a color he tends not to lean towards, ironically matching up with some of the accents in your flowing dress tonight.

Just ugh—more than you can take tonight.

You managed to make a beeline for the bathroom before he could spot you tonight but, so what? It’s not like you’re about to go home, miss out on the SAG awards or attempt some swap for another seat at a different table. Far too obvious.

No, there’s no plan other than to just grin and bear it.

So you reapply your makeup where it matters and take a deep breath before nodding at yourself in the mirror and turn on your heel to head back out onto the main floor.

This was bound to happen sooner or later? You’re still running in the same circles. Or maybe you just expected that the next time you’d see him you’d be dating someone, maybe even happy. At the very least dulling the ache in your chest as you think about Austin pulling away before something could even start between you two. That’s how it happened, right?

You sigh evenly as you head to your table, trying to ignore the fact that you can see him in your peripherals in the bright-ass crimson suit he’s wearing. You hold your breath for one moment, two—

“Y/N?”

You turn at the sound of his voice and let out a soft, surprised laugh, as your eyes drink him in. As if you haven’t been eyeing him up and having small inner-panic attacks about the whole thing since you arrived.

“Austin?” You grin and at least that’s genuine, always was difficult not to smile around him, he kind of brought this energy that was infectious, warm. You’ve definitely missed it. “Fancy seeing you here.” You joke for too many reasons.

You nearly shake your head at yourself because you’re definitely putting on an act—this faux surprise, this light tilt in your voice of excitement and unforgotten affection. And the thing is? Some of this is not fake, all of these emotions crisscross too easily but you suppose that’s part of the point. One thing that can make a great actor is lying with the truth.

You let out a slow breath—forget about the SAG awards, you’re gonna win an Oscar for this performance.

Austin chuckles and you hate that your stomach does this little ridiculous flip-flop thing automatically as you allow him to reach forward and draw you into a quick hug. Far too quick, even though his fingers and hands are pressured on your back and waist, and you can smell hints of his cologne (sandalwood and something distinctly him).

“Solo tonight?” He asks, glancing around just in case before he pulls your chair out for you. Ever the gentleman, he’ll probably be that guy tonight that offers his arm to a few women in the crowd to get them to the stage in one piece. Very boyfriend of him, very annoying for you to witness.

“Yeah,” You smile, pulling your dress a little so you don’t sit on the fabric weird.

He settles down next to you, unbuttoning his suit jacket, angling his body slightly to the left so that he can talk to you easier. He doesn’t seem to be here with anyone either, your strings intertwining with one another’s yet again. Not that you’ve been…keeping tabs on him or anything? But you dabble in celebrity gossip, kinda hard not to, especially since you’re within one of the circles yourself.

Austin’s single, doesn’t seem too interested in dating anyone but you’re not sure if that’s a personal preference or because he’s busy more often than not. You suppose it’s not your business, shouldn’t matter to you…and yet for explanations you don’t want to speak into existence, it does.

“Your latest film was great,” Austin says, picking up his glass of water to take a sip.

You feel your cheeks kiss pink for a variety of reasons, moreso because…this man literally embodied Elvis and he’s giving you compliments? Just weren’t ready for that. “You saw it?”

He scoffs playfully, “Course I saw it.” It’s not that you’re not proud of your own accomplishments, you are, just kind of a work in progress to believe that you deserve everything coming your way.

“Thought you might be too busy bein’ Elvis and all that.”

Austin smiles a little, this sort of shy thing that reaches right into your chest and squeezes. You forgot that about him, how humbly he takes every aspect of his job, his passions. Seems like something he needs to accept too, how much he deserves to be here, basking in his achievements.

“I saw it once or twice, you know just—to see what the hype was all about.” You grin and you…cannot believe you’re flirting with him but it’s like some sort of switch turns on in your brain when you’re around him.

Just like a few years ago, you’re completely comfortable with him regardless that time has passed. Because it doesn’t feel like it has.

“Oh so just the hype, that’s the only reason?” Austin smiles, glancing over your face, definitely landing on your lips at one point before blue eyes meet yours.

“Definitely.” Lying right through your teeth.

There’s brief catching up, sharing what you both have been through the past two years but it’s all rather topical, easy, mostly about work. There’s no depth of emotion or too much feeling, there’s no conversation about relationships or dating, where you’ve been or where you hope to be. But you suppose that’s pretty on brand overall, you never quite made that jump of completely letting Austin in…not about everything, anyways.

But none of this matters anyways, right? It’s not like you and Austin are going to repair your relationship because you shared one night of drinks and laughter and sitting too close (every so often Austin would move and his knee would brush against your legs and it’s definitely on accident? But it feels like there should be a purpose).

You fully intend on saying goodbye to him after the awards end and for nothing to fully come to fruition on seeing one another. It’s just a fluke, chance, it has nothing to do with unironic possibilities in the universe or fate.

Except then you end up at the same afterparty.

And maybe that’s the whole thing that’s fucked up—you and Austin have never had any problem with chemistry. Your bodies seem to naturally gravitate towards one another, no plans to meet up and yet it’s so easy to slip into old habits. You grab a drink in someone’s expansive kitchen, and then two, and then one conversation on the couch turns into a game of pool, and then you’re glued to one another’s side the entire night.

You end up in the backyard, which is a beautifully simple closed-in patio, a gate that opens up into grassy patches, flowers and benches and a fishpond you definitely want to look at before you leave. There’s a bottle of champagne loosely in your hand that you’re both sharing, coming off of losses from the SAG awards but neither of you seem too upset about it. A coolness in the air kisses your skin and breathes life into your veins, it makes you hyperaware of how close Austin is standing next to you on this patio deck, how you’re both leaning against the same railing looking out into the yard lit with carnival lights. Your arm brushes his, which causes a shiver to roll down your spine.

Austin misreads it, unbuttons his suit jacket and slides it off to drape over your shoulders. A small smile tugs the corners of your mouth as you’re enveloped in his scent, something that almost causes a lump in your throat. You slide your arms through the sleeves anyways, passing him the champagne bottle to hold. He takes a large sip out of it, his eyes slightly glassy like yours, rose-colored cheeks.

“I uh, I have a confession to make,” He says after a moment, tilting his head down a little to speak to you. “I noticed you when I first came in to the event tonight but I pretended to be surprised to see you.”

You blink, thinking he’s joking for a moment just to draw out that he knows you did the exact same thing but…he’s not. He (very cutely) looks embarrassed that he’s pulled this ruse on you and that encourages the lightest of laughs to leave your chest because,

“Why would you do that?” And you think you know, practically holding up a mirror to yourself because you can answer that question just as easily.

“I dunno,” He shrugs, pausing a moment, “Guess I…I wasn’t sure what to say to you. We kinda left things split open.”

You think that’s a perfectly decent way of explaining it because that’s what it felt like—like someone had reached inside your chest and had tried forcing your ribs apart. Up until now, you were never sure how Austin felt about it, about going separate ways. There’s this inflection in the tone of his voice that you can’t figure out—is he speaking from a place of guilt or regret?

And that’s where you feel a sharp crack, a pop in your chest, a quick release, suddenly feeling buried underneath all the weight of unsaid conversations and conflicting emotions.

“We don’t have to talk about it,” You offer a short laugh, trying to end the conversation before it starts, giving Austin a way out.

There’s suddenly not enough champagne in this bottle.

You let out a soft breath, shaking your head as you continue, “There’s nothing to be apologetic about, we were never dating. You don’t owe me anything.”

Austin’s body tenses slightly beside you and you can tell that he doesn’t like that response or maybe expected something different? You’re not sure. But he takes another sip from the champagne bottle and chews on a few words in his mouth before he speaks,

“But we were close.” He’s definitely not wrong about that—sometimes it felt like Austin was the only person who saw you, really saw you. But it goes deeper than that.

There was an ache created with his absence, where you could feel him pull away until he just wasn’t there anymore. You both can blame it on being busy, on work getting in the way, but those are just excuses.

“And when you wouldn’t let me in, I pulled away.”

You swallow over what feels like broken glass in your throat. You want to argue with him that he’s wrong, that Austin disappearing had everything to do with him but…it’s just not true. You’ve always been like this—when you feel someone getting too close, you back off, you don’t allow yourself to become vulnerable because all that comes with it is disappointment, regret, mistakes.

You know that Austin isn’t outright blaming you, being in that kind of position can’t be easy. How can you expect anyone to stick around when you won’t give them anything to work with?

Running a hand along the side of your face, you adjust Austin’s jacket around your shoulders, reaching once again for the champagne. The bubbles fizz uncomfortably in the back of your throat as you take another sip,

“It’s…it wasn’t completely about not letting you in.” And how do you even begin to explain this after all this time? You suppose because the emotions are still real, can feel them beating in your chest against your ribcage even now. “You see me, you know? And it’s not just that you see me…it’s that you sometimes can see through me. That’s terrifying.”

It takes a moment but there’s this shift on Austin’s face, something softer, warm, understanding. He turns slightly on the patio to face you, his hand shifting closer to yours on the banister. His fingers brush over yours, a point of connection, and you hate how much you want to dive into the heat of his skin.

“Why?” He asks softly.

You could pull away again, shift this entire conversation to something else, you don’t think Austin would protest. He might let it go too. And yet…there’s something swirling at the bottom of your ribcage, flip-flopping your stomach, this idea whispering in the back of your mind that it feels so much like fate that you’ve run into him tonight.

That you should just be honest.

So you swallow down a wave of uneasy emotion and nod softly, your eyes meeting Austin’s blue ones, a small smile tugging the one corner of your mouth, “Because I think you’re one of the only people who can.”

Austin takes the champagne bottle into his other hand, freeing your hand that’s closest to him. His fingers brush yours, tracing in patient circles on your knuckles. Your gaze flutters down, watching him do it. Something settles in the center of your chest—

And for the first time tonight, you feel like you’re exactly where you’re supposed to be. Right place, right time.

“Would you want to start over?” He asks after a moment and you can recognize the hesitant hope there—how much he wants this too.

Taking a step closer, you feel slightly daring as the space closes between you. Your heart is beating against your eardrums and even though a ton of reasons tell you to stop, you don’t.

Instead, “I’m good with starting over,” You smile, chewing on your lower lip, “Not completely from the beginning though.”

Before he can ask what you have in mind, you press yourself up on your toes and kiss him. It’s short and sweet but meaningful and you can feel Austin lean into it, his hand moving to cup your cheek, thumb brushing over your cheekbone. You have to pull apart far too soon.

“Read my mind,” He whispers against your lips, tugging you closer for another kiss.

The rest of the night is spent like that—finishing the bottle of champagne, wandering over to where the pond is and sitting on the edge, so many soft, shared kisses as you catch up, between gentle laughter.

You consider changing your mind about fate—definitely still trouble, but maybe it's completely worth it for the right person.

#austin butler #austin butler x reader #austin butler imagine #austin butler fic #elvis 2022 #mccall writes things

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eisdendrobium · 1 year

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where's my happily ever after?

pairing : childe x reader genre : fluff to angst summary : he was your everything, and so you thought you were his too. a/n : this is basically just a vent fic

read pt.2 : reader’s letter for childe

"promise i'll take you to the lantern rite" he smiled. you blush a bit at his statement as you hit his side jokingly "yea right, you better keep that promise ajax" he chuckles "you can always count on me princess"

"fuck off you're cringe" you complained and push him from your side. "what can i say? i'm a charmer" he walks back to your side with a dashing grin "yea right" you replied.

it was a breezy afternoon in bishui plain, a perfect day to take a peaceful walk to clear your mind. but as you were walking peacefully you see a silhouette of a man gliding from behind

"fancy seeing you here" you turn around to face childe. as he walks towards you silently, when he's almost by your side, you turn your body to continue your walk again but stop when you see the sight from the side of your eyes.

childe is kneeling down on one knee, hands stretched, holding a couple of beautiful qixing flower. seeing that, you blush, hard. and you could see that childe is also blushing as he lets out a laugh

you opened your mouth to say something but nothing came out, too shocked to speak. childe then stands up and regain his composure, he hands you the flowers and starts to walk towards the plains, you catching up to him.

"found them on the top of some hill, thought i could pick some up for you" he shrugs, you stare at the flowers in awe, tints of red could still be seen in your cheeks. "uh, thanks i guess?" "you are very welcome" he gave you his signature wink and grin.

the both of you then enjoy the rest of the walk in silence and sat down together near the city to watch the sunset.

"have you heard? childe's dating the traveler" xiangling, who's sitting with you said out of the blue

that caught you off guard and you look up to her, eyes widened "what?" "yeah, i heard her talking to paimon about it a while ago" you were baffled. i mean, just yesterday he knelt down in front of you, handing you flowers, just yesterday you spent your afternoon with him watching the sunset. and now he's dating the traveler?

no amount of word could express how you feel right now. sad? shocked? ashamed? betrayed? angry? you don't even know, they're circling inside you, wanting to explode.

xiangling who was oblivious of the fact that you have deep feelings for the eleventh fatui harbinger just continue to talk, yet you pay no mind to any of her words. you stood up and politely excuse yourself to her.

as you walk towards your home you can't help but let your tears fall, the scenery is beautiful, the moon high up in the sky, shinning brightly with clouds covering a part of it, the birds flying in the sky and the sound of fishes in the pond. it's the perfect night, just not for you.

you walk and walk by yourself as you drown yourself with thoughts and tears.

the next morning, you woke up from your restless night and you decide to take a breath in the hills, but guess it's just your lucky day for as soon as you teleported to the top of wuwang hill you see childe there, he turn around to see you and looked just as shocked.

not ready to talk to him yet, you averts your gaze to the grass and walk towards the empty spot near him, you don't want it to seem obvious you know about him and traveler but at the same time you still needed space to clear your mind, so you just stay quiet.

"hey, you good? you looked like you haven't sleep in ages" childe tries to spark up a conversation "yeah, didn't sleep at all." you replied shortly.

childe tries a couple of new topics but you shut down all of them, sensing that you want some time by yourself, he left you alone. "you seem like you need space, i'll excuse myself then" he pats your shoulder and left.

you sat on the grass and tears starts falling again, call it dramatic but the feeling of heartbreak just never hit you this hard. he's your first love and first heart break. you've always prepare yourself for any heartbreak that'll come to you, yet this just seem to have hit you a lot harder than what you'd expect.

days passed and you could see that childe is also drifting away from you. what seemed like a couple of greetings turns into stares, and hatred towards each other.

just when you're ready to be friend him again, childe makes it obvious that he didn't want anything to do with you anymore.

"ajax, didn't expect to see you here" childe turns to you "yeah? didn't expect to see you here too" he reply shortly and not long after that he left to meet the traveler.

you see how childe went towards traveler and starts laughing together, walking further away from you. you let out a chuckle "so we’re not going to the lantern rite you promised me huh?” you say to no one in particular

apparently this is how it ends, and you thought he’d be more then just a chapter. what a blessing it is to meet ajax, and such a curse loving him.

#tartaglia #childe x reader #genshin impact #traveler #childe angst #tartaglia angst #ajax angst #genshin angst

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niyahniyaa · 4 months

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Imperfect Love

Choi Seungcheol x Reader

Tags: au, smut, angst, heartbreak, fluff, breakups

A/N: This is my first short story. I'm thinking of writing a pt.2 or just making an entire story of it but it depends on how this does. So bare with me.

Synopsis: You and Seungcheol have been happy for a while now. It’s a perfect relationship.…until it isn't.

Credit to my Beta Writer @liyahlisworld

————————————————————————————

“I’m in the kitchen.” You yell, calling out to your boyfriend who just walked in the house. It’s 5:30 pm, he usually walks in around this time, so you were already expecting him.

“Watcha cooking?” He asks hugging you from behind, the minty scent coming from his breath as he places small kisses on your neck and shoulders. You turn to look at him, setting the spoon down on the counter. Wrapping your arms around his neck, you place a small peck on his lips.

“How does spicy stir fried pork and kimchi with udon noodles sound?” You ask smiling up at him. He returns the gesture kissing you softly on the nose.

“Sounds good Naekkeo” he starts. “ I’m gonna go put my things away, I’ll meet you back at the table ok?” He grabs his bag he previously placed on the couch and walks upstairs to the room. You put the finishing touches on the meat and start to make your plates. On cue, Seungcheol walks into the dining room and sits across from you at the table.

“Anything new today at work?” You ask, sparking a conversation. He shakes his head while slurping up some noodles. “Nothing really.” He starts. “We just got a new VP for Marketing. She seems nice I guess.” He says picking up a piece of meat.

You nod your head taking in this info. He works at Hybe, one of the biggest recording companies in Seoul. He’s the CEO so he gets pretty busy, which is why you like to have dinner ready once he gets home. Being together for 5 years now you’re pretty used to his schedule.

“So how was work,” he asks taking a sip of water, “anything eventful happen?” You work at the local Veterinary Clinic. Today just so happens to be the day that you preformed a life saving surgery on a baby shiba.

“I actually performed a very successful surgery on a pup today,” you start, “I was so nervous honestly, it was super risky and I’ve grown so attached to her on the count of her frequent visits and tests, so my nerves we’re shot!” You exclaim shaking your head. It’s quiet.

You look up instantly meeting eyes with Seungcheol. His deep dark browns staring at you attentively. Listening and taking in every word that came out of your mouth. You can’t help but blush at the sight. That’s when you finally take the chance to analyze him. His black hair lay messily atop his head, some strands hanging over his eyes. He’s wearing a white tank top that exposed his beautiful broad shoulders. You look back up at his face and notice he’s biting his lips.

How long have you been staring? Has he noticed?

“Wow,” He says snapping you out of your thoughts. “Sounds like it was a lot and you have to remember not to get too emotionally involved Naekkeo”. He says gently. He didn’t seem to notice your staring. He straightens up and reaches out for your hands. “Yea I know, they’re just so cute.” You respond as you place your hands softly on his big palms.

“Saw something you liked y/n?” He asks caressing your hands, making soft circles on the back of your hand. He’s staring at you intensely as if he’s trying to undress you with his eyes.

He noticed.

You feel the your cheeks getting warm and you look down shyly. Even after all these years together, he still gives you butterflies like it’s the first time meeting him all over again.

“I was just uh-,” you start. “I just noticed how messy your hair looked.” You say sheepishly. You smile and shake your head. “How is it that you can still give me the same feeling I’ve felt when I first met you Cheol?” You ask him. He smiles exposing his cute deep dimples. “I don’t know?”, he starts. “Maybe it was the spell I placed on you after our first date”. You roll your eyes at his cheesy remark. He’s so cute. “Whatever.” You smirk.

————————————————————————————

You start to gather the dishes to clean when you hear your phone ding on the table. You put the remaining dishes you were holding in the sink and walk back towards your phone.

Dokyeomie🍕 8:17 pm: Bestieeeeee

Dokyeomie🍕 8:17 pm: Wanna hang out after work this Saturday🥹

Dokyeomie🍕 8:19 pm: Soonyoung is flying in around 3 that day. We could meet at your place after we drop his things off at his hotel.

You’re usually just home lounging around after work. Cheol doesn’t come home for almost another 3 hours after you get off anyways so you could use the company.

You haven’t seen your bestfriend in like a month anyways, and you miss him.

You 8:21 pm: Yea why not, I’ll be home. I miss you my Seokminnie☺️

You 8:21 pm: Didn’t know you and Hosh made up

Dokyeomie🍕 8:23: Yea we’re over it now, she was nobody anyways🥱

You 8:24: Lol yea whatever you say🤣, I’ll see you this weekend ok? Gn bestie

Dokyeomie🍕 8:25: Yay😁see you this weekend gn y/n

“You okay?” Seungcheol asks, damn near scaring you to death. “Jeez Cheollie,” you say holding your chest, “you scared the shit out of me.” You put your phone back down on the charger and start walking towards the kitchen. Cheol following you.

“Seokmin and Soonyoung are gonna come by Saturday after I get off work.” You tell him turning the faucet on. He grabs the towel off the counter beside the sink. Ready to help you with drying the dishes. “Cool, when was the last time you’ve seen each other?” He asks drying a plate. You shrug your shoulders and look over at him. “It’s been a while, he’s been “busy”.” You say using air quotes.

Dokyeom was recently in a relationship. She was introduced to him by Soonyoung, one of our close friends. To make a long story short, she cheated on Dk with Yeonjun, one of Hoshi’s associates, at a party. Hoshi found out and didn’t tell Dokyeom about it. He was pretty mad at him and instantly broke up with the girl. He says that she was a nobody, but they dated for almost a year and Dk grew to love her. It definitely broke his heart, not that he’d admit to it.

“He’s been shelled away in his house since the breakup but if he says he was “busy” then who am I to doubt him”. You say handing Seungcheol a cup. You finish washing the last of the dishes and turn the faucet back off. “As long as they’re alright and are talking again that’s all that matters right?” Cheol says kissing your cheek. Your stomach flutters and you smile.

“Yeah I guess you’re right.” You turn the lights off in the kitchen and living room then grab your phone as you make your way upstairs. Seungcheol grabs your hand as you reach the top of the steps. He pulls you back softly, turning around to meet his hard chest. “I missed you today y/n.” He says biting his lips. He cups your chin turning you into a kiss, your lips instantly reciprocating.

He kisses you softly, stroking his tongue across your lips asking for an invitation. You instantly oblige parting your lips for his tongue to play with yours. He guides you into your room with a hand on your back. You haven’t had him all day. You can never get enough of the way he admires you so passionately.

“Cheollie,” you began, a soft moan escaping as he kissed your shoulder, gently lowering your bra strap. “Shower.” You say, tugging on his shirt. He picks you up bridal style and carries you toward the bathroom. He places you on the sink before starting the steaming shower. You began to take your clothes off, feeling Seungchol’s eyes watching your every move.

You look up making direct eye contact, your cheeks burn as you turn away still unable to maintain eye contact after all this time. It’s not like he hasn’t seen your naked body before. “You’re beautiful.” He says staring at you heatedly. You turn slightly covering your breast, tossing your bra at him playfully. “See something you like Cheol?” You ask using his own words against him. You step into the shower closing your eyes as warm water rushes down your head, flowing like a stream to your toes.

You feel arms wrap around your stomach and you turn around to see Seungcheol looking down at you. You move over slightly letting him into the water. The way it just runs down his head. His hair falling over his face and the way he slicks it back with his hand, it’s driving you insane. God how is he so hot. You look down at his now fully exposed body. His abs glistening against the moonlit ambience in the skylight above the shower. His large member fully erect as it softly pokes your belly.

You place your hands on his abs and slowly make your way lower. “I missed you too baby.” You say softly as you let your hands grip his hard cock. He picks you up suddenly wrapping your legs around his waist as he pins you against the wall.

You moan quietly as his lips find their way back to yours. “Fuck!” You groan as he rubs the tip of his dick along your folds. “I love you so much baby,” he whispers against your lips, “there’s no one I’d rather love-” a kiss against your shoulder, “no one I’d rather fuck.” He groans sliding into you slowly.

“Cheollie fuck!” You shout gripping onto his shoulder tightly. “Mmm, can’t believe I went the whole day without feeling your pussy.” he says moaning. You can never get over how dirty Cheol sounds when he has you like this, begging for anything he’d give you.

“God! You feel so good baby, so tight.” He rambles placing a hand on the wall while using the other to hold you up. In the midst of fucking you crazy, he still manages to make you feel so safe and balanced between him and the wall, never letting his grip loosen.

You feel your body start to tingle as he picks up the pace. He kisses you sloppily, teeth clashing as he moans inside your mouth.

He bites your bottom lip and you let out a moan. You throw your head back as he hits your g-spot, he knows your body like the back of his hand, pulling your strings like a fiddle. “Baby I-I’m g-gonna cum.” You say closing your eyes losing yourself to the pleasure. You drown in the ecstasy his strokes give. Sinking further and further into that hazy headspace.

“Not yet baby, wait for daddy.” He coos caressing one of your tits with his free hand. “I’m almost there baby, fuck.” He says. You look back down to see his eyes closed and him biting his lip. “Fuck me Cheollie…yessss, just like that.” You moan out meeting his thrusts in tandem. You feel him groan into your shoulder and you know he’s close. You lean in, biting his ear and kissing down to his neck. He moans loudly and you know that was it for him. “Shit baby yess…..fuck I’m cumming.” He says rubbing your clit with his free hand pushing you over the edge. You climax together, gripping each other tightly as you come down from your collective high.

“I love you y/n.” He says gently placing you down on your feet, still holding you close as to not let you stumble. You bask in the afterglow, holding him close. You stand on your tiptoes and give him a kiss. “I love you too Seungcheol.”

————————————————————————————

The sun shined brightly through his office as he walks inside. Seungcheol was placing his bag on the chair by his desk when his assistant walked in. Kim Mingyu has worked for Seungcheol for quite some time now, becoming good friends as years passed. “Some night huh boss?” He says chuckling. Cheol was a bit groggy today, and Mingyu liked to mess with him. “Y/n kept you up late last night?” He laughed placing a coffee on his desk.

Seungcheol glares lowly, no real heat behind it and shakes his head, sipping his coffee. “We ready for this meeting?” He asks grabbing files from his drawer. Mingyu shakes his head, putting a hand in his pocket. “Just about, we’re waiting on your new VP, she isn’t in yet so,” he says checking his watch, “we still have a few more minutes.” Seungcheol rolls his eyes. He hates tardiness, it’s one of his biggest pet peeves in a workplace.

“We have a lot to go over so we have to start now.” He commands walking out of his office. Making his way to the conference room, he groans as he collides with someone. Papers flew everywhere. He bends down to help pick them up but his hand brushes another in the midst. He looks up to meet eyes with a woman. “I’m so sorry.” She says, bowing slightly and tucking her hair behind her ear.

Seungcheol smiled reassuringly. “It’s alright, your the new VP aren’t you?” He asks standing back up and handing her the papers he held. She nodded, staring at Cheol. “Sorry I’m late, traffic was horrible leaving my apartment.” She apologized. Seungcheol nodded, understanding. “Come, we’re beginning now.” He said, leading her to the conference room.

————————————————————————————

“I’m just happy she’s ok.” You say proudly over the phone. “Don’t forget she has an exam coming up soon, we gotta make sure she’s not scarring too bad or anything from the surgery.” The woman on the other end agrees and says her goodbyes. You hang up and take a deep breathe. You finally get some quiet time in your office. It’s been busy today, from checkups to filing paperwork, you’ve been on your feet all day.

“You alright?” Your receptionist Younji asks stopping by your office. The clinic was slowing down now and there aren’t anymore customers occupying the lobby, so you don’t mind her coming in. “Yea I’m fine, just tired.” You say, your yawn proving how burnt out you were. She smiles and leans against the door. “Long day huh, it hasn’t been this busy in a while.” She comments running her fingers through her hair. She’s right. We haven’t been this busy in almost 3 weeks. “Yea something must be in the water.” You say jokingly.

Your phone began to ring and Younji excuses herself, closing the door behind her as you go to pick it up. It’s Seungcheol.

“Hey Jagiya,” he says as soon as you answer.

“Hey babe, how’s work?” You ask smiling at the sound of his voice. You then hear a few laughs from his side of the phone.

“Hey, I won’t be home til late today baby,” he starts. “Me and a couple friends are gonna go for some drinks after work.” He tells you. You nod your head at his statement. A weird feeling sinking in your stomach. “Well Seokmin and Soonyoung will be there to keep me company so that’s alright.” You tell him, remembering your messages with Dk earlier that week.

“Okay great, I’ll see you tonight then.” He says. “I love you.” You hear him kiss the phone receiver and you can’t help but chuckle at his action. “I love you too Cheollie, see you later.” You hang up and place your phone back on your desk. It’s 1 pm right now. You’ll be home soon. Just a couple hours left. You think to yourself, leaving your office.

————————————————————————————

“I don’t care how much money you give me, I’m not jumping into a pile of cow shit. No!” Seungcheol says laughing. He was at a bar not too far from Hybe building and everyone was a few shots in by now. Mingyu laughed loudly, holding his stomach. “Quit asking stupid questions Gyu.” Seungcheol laughs. Everyone was laughing or engaging in their own conversations. The woman from earlier, Naeyon, giggles lightly. “Yea that’s a disgusting question anyway.” She says taking a sip of her soju.

“Ok,” Mingyu starts, finally over his laughing fit. “What if y/n was at the bottom of said shit pile, would you then jump?” He says raising his eyebrows. Seungcheol chuckles to himself. “If y/n was stuck at the bottom of a pile of cow shit,” he began, “I would personally shovel my way through to her.” He says sipping his drink. “Happy now?” He asks lifting his bottle. Mingyu claps while laughing. “Ladies and gentlemen, our CEO.” He says causing the rest of their colleagues to clap unknowingly.

He shakes his head while looking down. Naeyon takes a seat in one of the stools away from him. Trying to grasp his attention. “So you have a girlfriend I assume?” She asks looking up to Cheol, catching his attention. He nods his head while sipping his beer. “Uh yes, yes I do.” He looks away for a second then meets her eyes again. “As a matter of fact, I should be getting home now.” He says grabbing his jacket.

She grabs his wrist before he could completely stand up. “Let me buy you one more drink.” She offers smiling lightly. “I mean we are gonna be working together, might as well get acquainted right?” She suggests beckoning him to sit back down. He looks at the watch on his wrist, 8:45 pm. I’ve got time. He thinks to himself. “Just one more.” He says sitting back down.

————————————————————————————

“Really?” You laugh out as Soonyoung finishes up his story. “That’s so petty Dk.” You say to your bestfriend. Soonyoung telling you how Dokyeom blocked him on everything. He even deleted his social media so Hoshi couldn’t contact him while they were fighting. “What?” Seokmin asks shrugging his shoulders. “That was a dick move and you know it Soon.” Dk said crossing his arms. You knew the whole situation still rubbed him the wrong way. He’s been your bestfriend since freshman year of high school. You knew him like the back of your hand.

“I apologized Dk. Really I’m sorry.” Soonyoung says sincerely grasping Dokyeom by his shoulders and shaking him. “I vow to never ever keep anything from you again.” He says holding out his pinky finger. “I promise.” Dk rolled his eyes, finally unfolding his arms and locking pinkies with Hoshi. “Good.” You say clapping your hands and standing up. “Anybody want another drink?” You ask walking towards the kitchen. “Yeah sure.” Hoshi says. You grab three bottles of Soju out the fridge and walk back to the living room. You hand the bottles over plopping back down. “Thanks baby.” Seokmin says opening his bottle.

“So where’s Seungcheol, shouldn’t he be coming home by now?” He asks changing the subject as he takes a sip with a raised eyebrow. You look at the clock hanging on the wall. 9:45! It is late isn’t it? You think to yourself. You shake your head as if to shake the thought away. “He’s out with a few friends from work, he told me earlier that he’d be home late.” You reassure them. They exchange a look to each other. “Unless he’s really out with some slutty assistant of his.” Hoshi laughs already tipsy.

You laugh uncertainly taking a sip of your drink. “While Mingyu is very handsome, I doubt Cheol would make any advances on him”. They laugh, holding their hands up in surrender. You then think back to the conversation you and Cheol had earlier this week. “There is this new VP that was hired on Monday.” You don’t know why you told them that or why it was even on your mind. Still you couldn’t shake the sinking feeling of his call from earlier. “He said she’s nice.” You finish looking away and rolling your eyes at yourself.

“HELLOO?!” Dk says loudly, smacking the couch. “He’s obviously out with her, right now!” He shouts, completely sure of himself. Hoshi laughs at Seokmin’s sudden outburst. You shake your head. Cheol would never. Besides they’re coworkers. You reassure yourself. “No, come on Dk,” you began, “Cheol would n-.” Your sentence was cut short by the door being swung open. Seungcheol walks in smiling big at you.

“NAEKKEO!!” He yells excitedly. He’s drunk. He turns and closes the door behind himself. He stumbles toward you, tripping over Hoshi and falling onto Dk. “Too much to drink huh Cheol?” Dk asks pushing him to the empty space beside him. You shake your head and walk towards him, checking his face. You brush the hair from his face, looking into his eyes. “Why would you drive like this?” You ask standing up with your hand on your hip. “I made it home didn’t I?” He sasses.

Dk stands up grabbing his now empty bottle. He walks to the kitchen and tosses it inside the bin. “On that note, I think it’s time for us to go.” He says to Hoshi clearing his throat. Soonyoung grabs his and Seokmin’s jacket and walk towards you. “It was great to catch up,” he says hugging you, “see you again soon y/n. Don’t be a stranger!” You walk them to the door, also receiving a hug from Dokyeom. “Love you bestie, thanks for coming over.” You say pulling away. “See you soon.” He says before heading out the door. You close it behind them, locking it in the process, you take a deep breath before making your way back to Cheol.

He’s sprawled across the couch, his eyes now closed. You shake your head as you pull him up. Jeez he’s so heavy. You say to yourself, wincing at the sudden pressure on your shoulder. “Come on Cheollie, you have to help me a little. You say as you walk towards the stairs, his arm wrapped around your shoulder as you keep him from stumbling. He lazily helps you carry him up the steps, tripping over a few in the midst.

You finally make it to the room and you push him onto the bed. He lands forcefully, face first. You place his bag on a chair by your vanity and look over to him. He seems to be asleep now. You shake your head as you began to undress him, starting with his shoes. As you were beginning to take his pants off, you hear a ding, coming from his bag. You walk to the chair you placed it in and look inside. His phone screen lights up the dark space inside as you reach for it. It was a text from an unknown number.

Unknown 10:15: Hey it’s me☺️, just making sure you made it home

Unknown 10:16: You seemed a bit drunk when you left

Unknown 10:17: Anyways just checking on you haha, see you on Monday

“You okay baby?” Cheol asks, suddenly awake. You nod holding his phone up for him to see. “You got a message from some unknown number.” You tell him walking towards the bed. He takes it and looks at the screen briefly. He shakes his head and tosses his phone to the side. “It’s nothing.” He reassured grabbing your hand. “Come here.” He demands pulling you on the bed closer to him. He kisses your lips and you could smell the alcohol on his breathe. You push him back, staring into his eyes. “Take this off babe.” You tell him, referring to his buttoned up shirt. He lazily unbuttons some, but you finish it off for him. “Goodnight beautiful.” He says turning over. You kiss him on his cheek and lay beside him. Trying not to get suffocated by the constant thoughts in your head, you close your eyes and slowly drift off to sleep.

————————————————————————————

“Knock knock.” Seungcheol looks up from his computer to the voice coming from his office door. It was Nayeon. It’s been two months now that she’s been working here, and since then, she’s grown quite comfortable, too comfortable. “Can I come in?” She asks interrupting Cheol from his work. “Sure, is there something you need?” He asks her. She shakes her head, closing the door as she walks in. He looks confused as she walks up and takes a seat across from him.

“I just wanted to tell you that sales have been great since changing the initial marketing technique.” She says referring to their last meeting. He nods sitting back in his chair. “Yes I’ve noticed,” he started, “great job you’re doing.” He says smiling. She blushes, tucking her hair behind her hair. “Thank you Cheol, your ideas really helped.” She says, cheeks turning red. Seungcheol stares at her, surprised by the sudden nickname, a name only close friends used.

“Is there anything else you need?” He asks her shifting in his chair. She looks at the watch on her wrist and looks back up at him. “I’m just about to head out for my break,” she starts, “let me treat you to lunch.” She’s grinning widely. He looks at his watch and sighs. I’ve gotten a substantial amount of work done so why not? “Sure there’s a cafe across the street from here that we could go to.” He says standing up. She smiles also standing up. “Great.” He follows her to the elevator and steps inside with her once it arrives.

“So how do you like the job so far?” He asks her breaking the silence. She turns and looks up at him. “It’s great really. Everyone’s nice and I have an awesome boss.” She smirks flirtatiously. He smiled shyly rubbing the back of his neck. “Just keep up the good work and you’ll breeze by.” He says nicely changing the subject. They make it out the elevator and to the lobby, the warm breeze caressing Cheol’s skin as he steps outside. She follows closely beside him as they cross the street into the cafe on the corner.

“Can I get two medium iced americanos with two pumps of sugar and caramel drizzle, and can I also get two sandwiches on a toasted croissant please?” He asks the woman at the counter, once they get inside. She tells him his price and he pulls out his wallet to pay. “Hey, I’m supposed to be treating you remember?” Nayeon says stepping in front of him. He shakes his head and gently moves her out the way. “I’m a man, I couldn’t.” He says handing over the bills. They stand by the end of the counter and wait for their order to be called.

Once they get their food, they sit at one of the few tables by the window. “You didn’t have to do that.” She says taking a sip of her coffee. He shook his head before taking a bite of his sandwich. “Now you owe me.” He says covering his mouth. She grinned, looking down shyly. “So tell me about this girlfriend of yours,” she started, “she seems like a lucky girl.” Seungcheol chuckled to himself. “Nah, if anything I’m the lucky one. She’s amazing.” He says looking away.

Nayeon smiled not reaching her eyes like earlier. “Well then you’re lucky to have each other.” She says pulling at her sleeve. “I mean how did she score a catch like you?” She asks staring into Seungcheol. He shrugs, cheeks turning red. Looking at his watch he begins to stand up. “I think it’s uh- time to get back.” He says clearing his throat. “Of course.” She said grabbing her bag and standing up. They tossed their trash and she followed him back across the street into the large building. They throw their now empty cups into the bin by the elevator before stepping in.

After what seemed like forever, the elevator doors close. Then suddenly, before he could react, Nayeon is connecting her lips with him. She kisses him deeply before he shoves her away looking down at her. “W- what are you doing?” He asks her stepping back. She steps forward trailing him. “Come on, she doesn’t have to find out.” She says before forcing herself back onto his lips. They kiss for a few seconds before he comes to his senses. What the fuck am I doing? This is wrong. He thought to himself before pulling away again.

The elevator doors finally open up to the 16th floor and he quickly steps out. He rushes back to his office but is stopped by Nayeon calling his name. He turns around just as she’s walking up towards him, stopping beside him. “She doesn’t have to know.” She calls again before walking off. He finally steps into his office and closes the door. What the fuck?

————————————————————————————

Its been two weeks since the incident, and Nayeon continues through their work day as if it hasn’t happened. “See you tomorrow Cheol.” Mingyu calls out as Seungcheol walks past him, leaving the office. He waves back at him and steps in to the waiting elevator. Before the doors could close, Cheol hears someone yell out to him. “HOLD THOSE DOORS PLEASE.” The voice yells. He quickly puts his hand out so the doors don’t shut and the person walks in. It’s Nayeon, holding her bag and a few other things. “Thanks Cheol.” She says smiling up at him.

He doesn’t say anything. Just looks up at the numbers above the doors as they count down to the garage. “Giving me the silent treatment aye?” She asks nudging him lightly. He walks out once they reach the garage, still not saying anything. He finally gets to his car and he suddenly feels a hand on his shoulder.

“Cheol,” she began. Turning around he cuts her off. “Don’t call me that.” He says sternly. He looks up and sighs heavily. “I have a girlfriend Nayeon, this can’t happen.” He says pointing to the two of them. She grins and looks down at his lips. Before she could act, Seungcheol clicks the button on his car key and climbs in, tossing his bag on the passenger seat.

Nayeon taps on the glass lightly asking him to roll down his window. Just drive off Cheol. Don’t entertain her. He thought to himself. He sighs and eventually rolls it down. “She doesn’t have t-.” She’s again cut off by Seungcheol’s deep voice. “Stop!” He says a bit loudly. “She does because she’s my girlfriend and I love her.” He tells her, as if to remind himself. “Ok so you don’t mind me telling her how you came on to me in that elevator two weeks ago?” She threatens. He looks at her, puzzled by her remark. “Just leave me alone.” He says before driving off, leaving Nayeon standing there alone.

————————————————————————————

This shit sucks. Oh to be a woman. You think to yourself while hugging your stomach. It’s that time of the month for you and you can barely move. I’m hungry, you thought to yourself. “Shit dinner!” You say out loud. Cheol would be home any minute and you haven’t started cooking yet. You look at the time on your phone and throw yourself back on the bed. Fuck. Takeout it is, you thought. You open up the food delivery app on your phone and start scrolling through the endless choices. “I’m really craving some pizza right now.” You say out loud to yourself.

“BABE?!” You hear the door slam shut and you knew Seungcheol was home. “UP HERE!” You yell back. He walks up the steps to your room and plop himself on the bed next to you. He’s still thinking about what happened at work and he’s reluctant to tell you. “How was work?” You ask him snapping him out of his thoughts. He sits up running his fingers through his hair. “Stressful.” Is all he says before getting up and walking to the bathroom, taking his phone with him.

“How so?” You ask as he cracks the door. It’s quiet. You can faintly hear typing coming from his phone. Seungcheol types out a message responding to Nayeon’s previous one.

NCoworker 5:30: Come on Cheol. It wasn’t that bad was it?

NCoworker 5:31: Ik you enjoyed it a little right?😌

Cheol 5:45: This has to stop. I love y/n and nothing you do will change that.

NCoworker 5:46: I won’t tell her Cheollie. I promise.

Cheol 5:46: Meet me in my office tomorrow during lunch. This’ll be over soon.

NCoworker 5:46: If you say so. I’ll see you at work. Goodnight love.

“Who you texting?” You ask, making him jump slightly. He turns around quickly locking his phone. “Just Mingyu telling me about his girlfriend.” He lied. You nodded, part of you not believing him, but you quickly brushed that feeling away. “Takeout tonight?” You ask holding up your phone. You’re still undecided so you ask for his opinion. “I kind of want pizza and wings, but if you want something else we can choose the latter.” You tell him walking into his chest, wrapping your arms around him. He’s warm and his heart is beating quite fast. He seems nervous.

“You ok?” You ask looking up at him. He nods and leans down to kiss your nose. “Pizza it is.” He says walking back out of the bathroom holding your hand. You quickly order the food and lay on the bed, letting his hand go. Seungcheol is by the closet undressing. “You know I love you right?” He says randomly. You nod, somewhat confused by his question. “Of course, why what’s wrong?” You ask, brows furrowed. He just shrugs and walks back towards the bathroom, stopping by the door. “Just wanted to make sure you knew that.” He says before walking in and closing the door behind him.

You look over to where he was previously standing and noticed he left his phone. That sinking feeling returns and the next thing you know, your grabbing his phone quickly running back to the bed. Opening it, you didn’t really expect to find anything, you’re not even sure what made you want to go through it. You click on his messages and something immediately catches your eye. “Goodnight love.” Who is that? Your head immediately floods with thoughts. You click the message and your heart jumps.

NCoworker 5:46: I won’t tell her Cheollie. I promise.

Cheol 5:46: Meet me in my office tomorrow during lunch. This’ll be over soon.

NCoworker 5:46: If you say so. I’ll see you at work. Goodnight love.

What the fuck? Who is this? Is he- No. You instantly brush the thought away. He couldn’t. He wouldn’t! Before you could think of anything else, you quickly close out of everything and place his phone back where it was. You hear the water turning off, signaling that he was done showering. You grab the remote and quickly put something random on tv.

A movie began playing loudly as he walks out of the bathroom. “Watcha watching?” Cheol asks smiling at you. He walks into the closet and began dressing himself. You can’t help but sit and think about what you saw. Who is N. What won’t she tell someone. Why is she calling him Cheollie? So many thoughts flood your mind that you didn’t even hear Cheol calling your name. “Y/N!” He says snapping you out of your thoughts.

“Everything alright?” He asks drying his hair. You look over at him. He’s wearing a black T-shirt with some grey sweat pants. His hair loosely hang over his face as he continues to dry it. “Yea everything’s alright.” You say lowly. At least that’s what you told yourself. Just then you hear the doorbell ring. “Must be the food.” Cheol says rushing downstairs, taking his phone and his wallet with him.

Your phone begins to ring. You look at the caller ID to see that it’s your dad. Shit. Here we go. You reluctantly answer.

“Hey dad.” You say, fake excitement in your voice.

“Don’t sound to eager to hear from us.” He says, noticing the sarcasm. “Your mother and I are in town and we would like to see you.” He tells you. You roll your eyes. Terrible timing. Just as I’m starting to make assumptions on Cheol’s whereabouts at work. Your dad never really liked the idea of you and Seungcheol being together. Said he didn’t like the looks of him. Cheol was just a COO at the time. Working underneath a now close friend of his, Kim Namjoon. The elder really favored Cheol and his work ethic and promoted him within a couple years after his retirement. Still, my father didn’t think he was good enough for me.

“Great,” you start, throwing your head back. “What time would be good for you guys?” You ask. You can hear your mother on the other side saying something. Seungcheol walks back in with a plate of pizza and some wings for you and him to share. You get up and walk to the small table in your room. “Tomorrow night. We can grab dinner and catch up.” Your dad says finally. Seungcheol makes a small gesture as to question who was calling. You hold up a finger, telling him to wait a second.

“Sure dad, so I’ll meet you guys tomorrow night at 9.” You tell him. He agrees. Then hangs up. You sigh deeply before taking a bite of your pizza. “That your parents?” He asks handing you a bottle of water. You nod looking over at him. Your mind rushing back to his messages as you continue to stare at him. “Anything interesting happen at work today?” You question hoping he would let you in on whatever those texts were about.

He shakes his head. “Just constantly trying to boost sales for our clients and what not.” He says biting into a piece of chicken. “Gotta keep our clients happy.” He says drinking some of his water. He didn’t tell you. Since when did he start keeping things to himself? Since when did he lie to you? Again thoughts crowding your mind.

You didn’t want to think the worse. But then why would he be lying to you. Why couldn’t he just tell you. You shake the thought away. He wouldn’t. “Could you take this downstairs?” You ask Seungcheol, quickly losing your appetite. He furrows his brows. “You going to bed?” He asks watching you climb back into bed. You nod your head without saying anything else.

Shit. Does she know. She couldn’t possibly. Seungcheol thought to himself. Maybe meeting her parents is what’s upsetting her. They don’t have the best relationship. His mind racing as he took the food downstairs to the kitchen. Just then he got a call from his phone. NCoworker displayed brightly on his screen. What the fuck? Why is she calling him so late?

Seungcheol takes a glance to the top of the steps before hesitatingly answering.

“Hey there.” Nayeon says flirtatiously. He runs his fingers through his hair. What was he doing? Why did he answer? “What did you want Nayeon?” He asks quietly. “I figured you would still be awake.” She says giggling slightly. “I’d love your company right now.” He shakes his head at her remark. What the fuck was her problem? “What the fuck is wrong with you Nayeon,” he begins “This ends tomorrow.” He says to her before hanging up.

————————————————————————————

“Yes two pumps of sugar.” You tell the barista at the cafe. You decide to surprise Cheol by bringing him lunch. You tell yourself that what you saw yesterday was just a misunderstanding. At the same time, you thought it would be a great time to bring him lunch, NOT because he said he would be meeting this N at that time. Though that was also sitting in the back of your mind, nothing wrong with a little lunch pop up right?

You park your car in the garage that connects to Hybe building. Walking towards and into the elevator, you began to get feeling again. Why? It’s not like I haven’t been here before. You think to yourself. Something was different though. A faint nervous feeling. Nervous because you didn’t know what you were walking into.

Finally reaching the 16th floor of the building, you walk until you reach the section his office was in. Mingyu spots you and gives you an endearing smile. “Hey y/n. Nice to see you again.” He says standing up to give you a friendly hug. “Should I let Cheol know, h-.” You basically yell cutting him short. “No!” You shout making him jump slightly. “No,” you continue less loudly now. “I brought lunch for him and wanted to surprise him.” You say showing him the bag and the coffee. He smiles and nods understandingly. “Got it, you know where to go.” He says returning back to his work.

You began walking down the long hallway, making your way to his office. As you reach it, you notice the door is closed. You can faintly make out two voices, one being Cheol’s, the other sound like it belonged to a woman. You instantly walk in, swinging the door open widely. You see Seungcheol and this woman standing uncomfortably close to each other. He notices you and quickly back away.

“What’s this?” You ask staring at him. He looks over at the woman and then back at you. “You must be y/n.” The woman chimes excitedly. She quickly walks up to you bowing. “I’m Nayeon.” She says smiling. N. This has to be her. You look at Cheol who still hasn’t said anything. “Yes,” he finally blurts out, “this is my girlfriend, y/n.” He says still staring at you. He blinks quickly and look away. “What’s going on?” You ask him. He walks up to you and kisses you softly on the lips. You notice Nayeon shift slightly on her feet.

“We were just discussing uh-,” he starts thinking to himself, “some major marketing plans we had for our clients.” He said looking down and noticing the bag in your hand. “You brought me lunch?” He asks you. You couldn’t gather any words, your mind was running a marathon. “I’m the new VP, I’ve been here for about two and a half months now. Cheollie and I here have been working pretty closely.” She tells you happily, staring endearingly at Seungcheol.

“Cheollie?” You repeat, questioning her choice of words. “Yea,” she says all giddy, “we’re basically partners.” She says nudging him. Cheol looks at you and puts his head down. “Nayeon please excuse yourself.” He demands to her. She instantly obliges and closes the door behind herself. You look up at Seungcheol as he guides you to a couch in his office. “Cheollie?” You repeat again, staring deeply at Seungcheol. He grabs your hand reassuringly.

“It’s nothing, I promise it’s nothing.” He says staring into you. You shake your head at him. “It doesn’t seem like nothing Cheol, she seems awfully close to you.” You say, your cheeks turning red. Is this why he’s been lying to you? “I saw the messages Cheol.” You tell him. His eyes widen, he clears his throat trying to remain calm. He swallows thickly and looks back at you. “She’s been coming on to me.” He admits with his head down. You scrunch your face at his remark. “I’ve been avoiding and dodging her advances. I promise nothing has happened or will ever happen.” He promises squeezing your hand tightly.

You didn’t say anything, just nodded. Nothing could escape your mouth. There was a knock at the door, you both look up to see Mingyu standing there with a few papers and folders. “Sorry to interrupt you guys,” he says quietly. “Cheol I have the Chairman on line 3, he’s waiting to hear from you on the recent changes made to the company”. He says before excusing himself.

You finally speak up. “I have to go, there’s some things I have to grab before meeting my parents tonight.” He nods but grabs your wrist before you can leave. “There’s a company party being thrown later,” he says, “we’re celebrating the release of our new group, maybe you could come by after dinner?” He asks. You force out a soft smile. Maybe there really is nothing going on. Maybe he’s telling the truth. He would never lie to you, right?

You go in for a hug, which he returns. “I’ll try ok?”

————————————————————————————

You take a deep breathe before shaking away your nerves. You were standing outside the restaurant your parents told you to come to. You always got a nervous feeling when seeing them again. They’re very judgmental and you long for their approval. You finally walk inside approaching the man at the front. “Hi! I have a reservation for Lee.” He looks up and down his list, nodding his head after finding your last name. “Yes, the rest of your party are already here, follow me.” He says walking off.

As you walk deeper into the restaurant, you see your parents sitting at a circle table towards the back. Your mother notices you and stand up to greet you. “My kitten!” She says excitedly. You smile and walk into her welcoming arms. The scent of blossoms and peaches cloud your senses. You pull away looking over at your dad. He stands up bowing to you with a gentle smile. “Long time no see,” he says dramatically. He then pulls you into a tight hug. “Your mother and I missed you.” He admits shyly. He pulls your chair out for you to sit, he takes his seat after helping your mother. You smile endearingly, shocked by your dads’ words. You fell out with your parents once you started dating Seungcheol.

Your dad just couldn’t get behind the fact that you decided to move in with him, and your mother stands behind every decision he makes. Basically disowning you once you moved away, you haven’t really spoken to them much from that point, so it’s pretty relieving to hear this. “I’ve realized over these past years that he isn’t going anywhere,” he starts,“so I’m willing to give him a chance my Bear, for you.” Your dad finishes. You instantly go in for another hug. Finally.

————————————————————————————

Shit. Who made this drink? Seungcheol thought to himself. He was now sitting at one of the tables on the far side of the conference hall, now on his 3rd or 4th drink by now. “Enjoying the party?” Mingyu asks him walking up to take a seat beside him. Seungcheol holds his cup up with an eyebrow raised. “Who made this drink?” He asks taking another sip, his head beginning to feel fuzzy. “I don’t know, strong isn’t it?” Mingyu questions scrunching his nose up. Seungcheol nearly finishes his drink, the strong taste in the back of his throat.

“You coming back out there?” Mingyu asks standing back up. Seungcheol blinked rapidly, his drink almost catching up to him. “I gotta run to my office really quick.” He said standing up, stumbling slightly before catching himself. Mingyu pats him on the back and makes his way back to the party. Seungcheol walks out of the party towards the elevator. Fuck, this shit is strong, he thought with a shake of his head. Finally the elevator arrives and he presses the 16 for his main office level.

Making his way around the dark space, he finally reaches his office, walking in and closing the door behind him. He sits on the couch that’s awfully comfortable to him right now. He really left to get away from the loud music. The party was nice, but he needed some quiet time for the moment. He kicks his feet up to be fully laid out on the couch, with his arms tucked comfortably behind his head. Just then he heard his office door swing open and close. Fuck.

————————————————————————————

Dinner was amazing. You and your parents touched on a lot of your problems and your dad is even willing to create a mutual relationship with Seungcheol. You pick your phone up and text Cheol telling him that you were on your way to his company’s party.

You 10:35: Heyy Cheollie, dinner went great☺️

No answer. You put your car in drive and hold your foot on the break.

You 10:37: I’m otw ok? I love you❤️

You put your phone down and began making your way to him. Now that your dad loosened his hold on him, you could get them to have a proper meeting together. You couldn’t wait to tell Cheol about it. Driving through the beautiful luminous city lights Seoul has to offer you smile to yourself, it’s so pretty at night, and you rarely go out at night so you don’t get to enjoy this view much.

You finally reach Hybe building and park your car in the adjoined parking garage. You get to the elevator and quickly press the button to the lobby. Fuck. I forgot to ask him what floor the party would be on, You thought reaching the lobby. Walking out, you see the sign with celebratory balloons hanging from it. You approach it to see that the party is on the 12th floor. You sigh and walk back towards the elevator, getting in and pressing the number 12 button.

You finally reach the 12th floor and greet the security guard you’re so used to seeing during your visits. “Nice to see you Ms. Lee.” He says letting you walk past him. You enter to see Mingyu dancing wildly in the middle of the room. You stand by the front laughing as he jumps and does some crazy moves with his arms. He finally spots you and runs towards you. “Y/n!” He says all excitedly. Your instantly pulled into a hug. You giggle at his sudden action. “Where’s Seungcheol?” You ask him after he let you go. He snaps his fingers as if trying to remember. “Ohhh yea,” he starts, “he went to his office.” He says now offering you a drink. You take it and thank him, walking back to the elevator.

When the doors opened to his floor, you couldn’t help but get this cold feeling. It was much different in here at night, an almost eerie feeling. You walk around the dark almost unfamiliar area, finally making it to the hallway that homed his office. Suddenly you hear voices, a man and a woman it sounds like. You can’t really make out their words, you’re too far. Who else would be here at this time?

As you’re close to approaching, you realize it’s coming from Cheol’s office. Finally getting a little closer, you can clearly hear it. “I promise I won’t tell her,” you hear her say, “she doesn’t have to know, this’ll just be our little secret.” She says, sounding seductive. You stand there trying to listen more. Then it’s quiet. You’re hot. You’re ears are hot. You quickly run down the rest of the hallway and burst through the door. Your chest heavy. You can’t breathe.

Walking in, you see Cheol laying back on his couch. His hair disheveled, shirt unbuttoned and pants halfway down. What the fuck. On top of him sat Nayeon, the very person he told you not to worry about. She quickly climbs off him, pulling her dress back down. Seungcheol quickly stands up, staring at you deeply, as if he’s trying to read your mind.

Your mind was racing. He wouldn’t. He couldn’t. Cheol would never. Your previous thoughts flooding your head. Five years. Five years of a relationship that he just let go of. Did he not care? You thought he loved you. He said that he would never hurt you. So many promises he made to you gone in an instant. You couldn’t breathe. Your chest heaved heavily. Oncoming tears stung at your eyes, but you refused to let them fall. Not right now, you couldn’t let them see you like this. Let her see you like this.

“Y/n.” Seungcheol said softly, as if he was proceeding with caution. He grabbed your hand and you quickly snatch away. “Do not fucking touch me Cheol!” You warn him, backing away. He looked at you with regret in his eyes. He looks a mess. Shirt still opened and pants pulled back up but unbuttoned. You look past him to see Nayeon grabbing her things and quickly running out of his office. You stand there quiet, thinking of your next words.

Seungcheol walks slowly towards you with his hand out. “Please Naekkeo, here me out.” He says using your nickname. A nickname that once made you feel warm and loved. Now it just makes you feel cold and unwanted. “Don’t call me that!” You snap at him. “You don’t get to call me that.” You say, pushing your tears away. You sniff and look away. Fighting the water works that were welling up the more you looked at him.

“Why?” You ask, not fully sure you wanted to know the answer. “It didn’t mean anything, she’s a nobody.” You’ve heard that before. Everytime a guy says that a girl is just a nobody, most of the time, she’s a somebody. You look at him shaking your head. “You lied to me Seungcheol.” You look up hoping your blurred vision would go away. “I clearly see why you haven’t answered any of my texts.” You say biting your lip. He runs his fingers through his hair and moves to grab your hand again.

To no surprise, you pull away again. “Y/n I-.” He’s cut short by your outburst. “YOU LOOKED ME IN MY EYES AND LIED TO MY FUCKING FACE SEUNGCHEOL!” You yell. “Please” he says tears filling his eyes. Smack! Your hand stings as you hit him. You don’t know what came over you but you hit him. You were hurting. You felt betrayed, embarrassed, and above all broken. “I hate you,” you spat. He stood there tears now rolling down his face. You quickly turn and began walking out, not wanting to be there anymore. “Y/n” he says, grabbing you wrist. You turn to look him in his eyes. “Fuck you Seungcheol.” You snatch away and run out. Leaving him there alone.

————————————————————————————

My Cheollie🍒 11:45 pm: Y/n please

My Cheollie🍒 11:45 pm: Let me explain

My Cheollie🍒 11:46 pm: I love you so much, I would never do anything to purposely hurt you

My Cheollie🍒 11:47 pm: Talk to me

My Cheollie🍒 11:48 pm: Believe me she doesn’t mean anything to me

My Cheollie🍒 11:48 pm: You’re the only one I want to be with

My Cheollie🍒 11:49 pm: Please come home

My Cheollie🍒 11:49 pm: I need you baby please

You lay there in the bed staring at the messages that Seungcheol sent last night. You couldn’t bring yourself to reply to any of them. You spent the night at Seokmin’s place, not wanting to go home. He has a spare bedroom so he didn’t mind you coming to stay. You knew Cheol would be returning home that night and you didn’t want to be there once he arrived. You hated the way he made you feel. You hated the way he looked at you when you walked in his office. Why did he do it? You thought to yourself while staring at your lock screen. A picture of a painting you and Cheol painted together displayed brightly.

“How you feeling?” Dokyeom asks popping his head in the room breaking you out of your trance. You look up at him, wiping the tears you didn’t even realize started falling. He comes in and takes a seat on the bed, staring into your sad eyes. “I’m so sorry best.” He says holding his arms open, welcoming you into an embrace. You quickly sit up and fall into his warm body. He holds you tight, rubbing your back.

“What now?” You ask him through loud sobs. “We started a life together,” you start. “Just us and each other’s company.” You hug Dk tighter. I’m gonna have to completely start over. What will I tell my parents? “I have to start looking for my own place.” You say pulling away from him. He smiles softly and supportingly. “You can always stay here with me until you find one.” He replies. You force a smile out and chuckle slightly. “I love you Seokmin, thanks for always being there for me.” He pulls you into another hug and kisses your forehead. “I love you too y/n.” He says pulling away and standing up. “I’ll always be here for you.”

————————————————————————————

It’s been two weeks and you finally gather the courage to go back to Cheol’s house. You’re there to get the rest of your things and return your key. For the past few days, you’ve been visiting whenever he was at work and taking a few clothes and personals. It’s 6:30 pm and you would’ve come earlier but you were at a meeting with a landlord for a potential apartment across town. You knew he would be there but you weren’t ready to face him just yet. It’s now or never. Come on y/n we can do it. You mentally prep yourself.

You walk up to his door and unlock it with your key. It still works. Are you surprised though? Making your way inside, you notice how dark it is. An unwelcoming type of darkness. “Y/n?” You walk further in and turn the lights on in the living room seeing Seungcheol sitting in a lounge chair by the window. “I won’t be long.” You say quickly making your way upstairs. You hear him following behind you which you pay no mind to.

“Where are you going?” He asks sloppily. He’s been drinking. He stands there watching you grab several suitcases you stored in the hallway closet. You ignore him as you open them up and quickly begin packing your things away. “Y/n answer me.” You stand up instantly meeting eyes with him. “There’s nothing for me to say to you Seungcheol.” You take a deep breathe and push past him going to your vanity. You grab your jewelry, taking each out of their own spaces and tossing them in a small bag.

“You haven’t been returning any of the messages I’ve been leaving you. Y/n we didn’t speak in two weeks. Where have you been?” You feel your irritation raise and look up to glare at him. Why is he speaking as if he’s done nothing wrong? Like he didn’t fully cheat on you with his coworker. After telling you nothing was going on. “YOU CHEATED ON ME CHOI SEUNGCHEOL. NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND. YOU-” You cut yourself off feeling the frustration rise in you.

He stumbles back trying to catch himself. He grabs the side of the vanity, balancing himself. “I love you.” He says walking closer to you. It’s now that you finally get to analyze him. He’s wearing a black tank top and a pair of adidas pants. His hair has grown longer and falls messily over his face. You can smell the alcohol on his breathe. “You did this Seungcheol. Not me”.

You finally finish packing ignoring everything he’s had to say to you. Your bags are in your car and you’re gathering the remaining of your things. Walking into the bathroom to get your personal hygienic items, you can’t help but remember the last time you and Cheol showered together. You were happy, everything was ok. How could it all go so wrong in the span of a couple of months. You shake your head and wipe the single tear that fell down your face away.

You walk out to see Seungcheol now sitting on the bed holding a bottle of water in his hand. “Don’t leave me y/n.” He says sluggishly. You look away and make your way for the door, stopping briefly. You turn to take one more look at him. “I hope it was worth it”. You say staring at him. This time he doesn’t say anything. Just stares back at you. You turn back around heading towards the stairs. When you finally reach the door, you hear his voice. “Don’t walk out on us, please.” He begs from the top of the steps. You stand there. Memories you shared flooding your mind. You sigh deeply, sobs threatening to burst from your chest. You grab the doorknob and head out finally closing the door on the love of your life.

“I’m sorry.” Seungcheol says after you close the door.

What have I done?

#scoups x reader #seungcheol x reader #cheol x reader #seventeen #seventeen carat #seventeen x reader #seventeen x y/n #kim mingyu #kwon soonyoung #hoshi #dokyeom #dk #lee seokmin #choi seungcheol #scoups #carat #seventeen au #au #alternate universe

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lizzie-boo · 2 years

Text

Make Me A Promise

Steve Harrington x Reader

Request: How about a hurt/comfort with Steve where he has to protect and help the hurt reader.

Requested by: @katieflynn33

Summary: When you and Steve both get injured in the upside-down you decide to keep your wounds a secret. What's the point in worrying your friends when your injury is nothing compared to Steve's. However, when Steve finds out his reaction is anything but what you had expected.

Words: 2,757

Warnings: Blood, the standard upside-down related things.

Make sure to check out my follower celebration!

A/N: Sorry this took so long babe I’ve been extra busy with wedding planning. Hopefully, you enjoy this. I’ll have your other request done as soon as I can.

The bats circled overhead, diving down every few seconds to attack. You stood back to back with Robin trying to ward off as many of the creatures as you could but the swarm seemed to be never-ending. Glancing over your shoulder you could see Nancy helping Steve remove the beast that had tried to choke him. You weren’t sure if the twisting feeling in your stomach was from the anxiety of the situation or from the jealousy of watching your crush interact with his ex-girlfriend. You knew they were over but you couldn’t help but notice the lingering stares that seemed to be coming from both parties. Deep down, you knew that if Jonathon were out of the picture Nancy would have made a move already. The only person who was saving you from complete heartbreak right now was someone who was off living life in a completely different state.

Finally, as the last of the creatures are fended off you take a moment to finally look at Steve. His torso is covered in cuts and gaping wounds, blood covering more of his skin than you ever could have imagined. Robin and Eddie begin to move towards him, and you finally snap your gaze away. It isn’t until you begin to make your way over, as well, that you notice the stinging sensation in your leg. Looking down, you notice the teeth holes in your jeans. The once blue fabric was now stained a dark red from the wound.

The slight limp in your step doesn’t seem to be noticeable and for that you are grateful. Everyone already seemed concerned enough about Steve’s injuries the last thing you wanted to do was worry them more. Especially when your’s was nothing compared to his.

You tune into the conversation as Steve says, “There aren’t that many we can take them.” The second the words leave his mouth you hear the tell-tale sound of more bats flying in. They fill the sky turning the world around you darker.

Someone near you tells you to run but you can’t be sure whose voice it is. All you can hear right now is the sound of the monsters and your heartbeat thumping in your ears. It mixes into an adrenaline-inducing haze that has you forgetting all about the pain in your leg. Eventually, your footsteps slow and you come to rest underneath a large rock. Nancy takes the lead, assessing the situation at hand. Her eyes narrow as she calculates the best course of action for the five of you.

At the sound of Steve’s grunt, all heads turn and all eyes lock on the hand he holds against the wound on his abdomen. He stumbles back falling against the rock and Nancy rushes to his side as Robin begins to ramble at rabies. Next to you, Eddie begins to scan the sky looking for any other potential dangers.

“Here let me help,” Nancy tells Steve as she begins to tear her shirt so she has something to bandage his wounds.

You watch the tender moment they share and your heart breaks further. Deep down you know that if you all make it out of this alive then they will get back together. Leaving you broken-hearted, watching from the sidelines. Eddie bumps your shoulder with his and you turn towards him. He wraps his arm loosely around your shoulder, taking a moment to gather his thoughts.

“There’s nothing to worry about between them,” he reassures you.

“Are you looking at them?” Your eyebrows raise as you try to accentuate your point.

“That right there,” he gestures towards them. “is nothing compared to what you and Steve have. I’ve seen the way he looks at Nancy and it’s not even remotely close to how he looks at you.”

You force out a laugh, “I wish that was true.”

Eddie tightens his grip around you as you watch Nancy lean in to wrap the makeshift bandage around Steve. Your chest tightens as they share shy smiles and whispered conversation. Eddie’s thumb rubs against your shoulder and the pressure of his ring eases some of the tension you feel setting in.

Robin finally calms enough to make her way back to you. Eddie’s arm stays on your shoulder as you turn to talk to her.

“How you doing buddy?” you ask her.

She lets out a dry laugh. “Well besides the potentially rabies-laden monsters and the whole trapped in a weirdo version of Hawkins I’m just great.”

“That’s the spirit,” you joke trying to ease the tension. For the first time since this whole ordeal started the three of you share a genuine laugh.

The noise draws Steve’s attention towards you, and the scour that graces his feature when he catches sight of the arm around your shoulder doesn’t go unnoticed by Eddie. Nancy also seems to catch on to the jealousy brewing inside of Steve. With this new information, she takes a step back, assessing Steve. Once she is sure his injuries won’t get any worse she delivers a light kick to his leg.

“What was that for?” he asks, eyes widening in shock.

“Go,” is all she says before pushing him in your direction.

He doesn’t make it to you, instead, the screeching of one of the creatures nearby has everyone freezing. It sends a chill down your spine.

“We need guns or grenades or something if we wanna get out of here,” Robin says, turning to look at each of us.

“The police station should have them,” you offer while placing your hand on top of Eddie’s.

“We don’t need to go into town, I have guns. I have two in my bedroom, we just need to make it there.” Nancy is on the move before she’s even finished talking.

You all follow behind her avoiding the vines littering the ground as you make your way towards the Wheeler residence. Making your way into the house you follow Nancy up the stairs. The pain in your leg flares as you take the steps too fast but you try to ignore it. With everything else going on the last thing you want to do is worry them over a little cut that they can’t even fix right now anyway.

As Nancy rummages through her closet you turn towards her nightstand, her diary catching your eye. You flip it open letting curiosity get the better of you. In front of you in the neat script is all about her and Steve’s relationship. Your stomach churns the more you read. You flip the cover shut and squeeze your eyes shut wanting to forget everything you read.

The last thing you wanted was to get a personal look into their relationship. It taunted you as if foreshadowing what they were about to rekindle. It made you sick thinking about how you would never compare to Nancy, not in Steve’s eyes at least. Eddie turns and opens his mouth to speak but you don’t let him. Instead, you rush out of the bedroom and head for the stairs. You take them two at a time, wanting to distance yourself from the others. As you reach the last step a jolt of pain travels up your leg. Letting out a yelp you fall to the ground, not wanting to put any more pressure on the injury.

Sitting at the bottom of the steps you grasp at your wound in an attempt to ease the pain. You squeeze your eyes shut again, this time to hold the welling tears at bay. A tingling sensation begins to mix with the searing pain. It is as if the creatures are still biting you. Ripping into your flesh over and over. As the pain overwhelms you Steve comes to kneel in front of you.

“What happened?” he asks, frantically searching your face for answers.

“It’s nothing,” you lie.

Noticing your hands clutching your leg he slowly pries your hands away. Taking in the sight of your bloody hands and the bite wounds he pales.

“This isn’t nothing, this is really bad.” Standing he heads towards the Wheeler’s kitchen and digs through a few drawers before returning. He wraps the wound with a dishcloth, tying it tightly to help stop the flow of blood.

“I promise, I’m fine.”

“You should have told me sooner, if you lost much more blood you could have died.” The panic in his voice leaves your heart feeling heavy. The last thing you ever wanted to do was worry him.

“I don’t think I lost that much.”

Reaching for your wrists he holds your bloody hands up before nodding his head towards them. His expression is all you need to tell that he isn’t buying any of your lies. As much as you want to focus on convincing him that you’re fine it seems that the feeling of his skin on yours has short-circuited your brain. Any coherent thought that you might have had before is out the window now that his fingers are wrapped around your wrist.

“You can’t scare me like this, what if no one noticed and you bled out?” He drops your wrist and your heart along with it.

The sound of footfalls on the stairs catches your attention and you both turn to see the confused expressions of your friends. Noticing your bandaged leg they swarm you each trying to make sure you’re okay.

Steve stands and steps back allowing them to fuss over you and he makes his way towards the dining room. Soon everything becomes chaotic as you all learn you can communicate with the kids. After finding out how to escape you all make a plan to bike to Eddie’s trailer.

Opening the garage you find four bikes sitting in the corner. The five of you look between each other and the four bikes unsure of what to do. Finally, you step forward ready to share an idea that might work.

“Robin and I can share a bike, she can stand on the back while I pedal,” you offer to the group.

“No, no way. You can’t be putting that much force on your leg,” Steve argues.

“I can pedal then,” Robin suggests. Nancy and Eddie both nod, accepting the plan that you had come up with. Steve on the other hand still doesn’t seem pleased with this idea.

“You can ride with me, I won’t have a problem with the extra weight.” He crosses his arms clearly not wanting to take no for an answer.

Robin scoffs, “Should I be offended, I feel like I should be offended.” Eddie gently pats her shoulder before heading towards a bike.

The ride to Eddie’s trailer is longer than you thought it would be. Just standing on the back of the bike is enough to send flashes of pain up your leg. You can’t even begin to fathom how bad it would have been if you were pedaling. The feeling of Steve’s strong shoulders under your hands is a welcome distraction.

It doesn’t take long once you make it to the trailer for the gate to be opened. Watching the rope of sheets hanging between both sides leaves you in awe. Robin gives it a tug and when it holds you can’t help but let your jaw drop. She climbs the rope and falls onto the mattress on the other side.

Nancy nudges you, telling you to go next. Reaching for the rope you give it a test tug just to be sure.

“Wait, let me go first. You shouldn’t risk falling on your bad leg. I’ll go first and catch you when you climb through.” You turn towards Steve and stare at him as if he had spoken gibberish.

He wanted to make sure you were okay? Since when did he care so much about you? Shouldn’t he be focusing on making sure Nancy made it through alright? All the questions swarmed you at once and it felt as if you were drowning in thoughts. By the time you surface from your mental deluge Steve is already waiting on the other side, arms outstretched.

“I promise I’ll catch you,” he yells from the other side.

Eddie kneels next to you cupping his hands to help you up. Stepping into his hands with your good foot you pull yourself up and through the gate. The sensation of falling hits you at once like your stomach is dropping. It doesn’t last long and when it stops you feel Steve’s strong arms holding you close.

“Thanks,” you mumble.

He sets you down and lets his gaze wander to the growing red patch on your leg. “Here, come with me. We need to try to get this under control.” He reaches for your hand, his fingers intertwining with your own. Slowly he leads you to the bathroom and instructs you to sit on the edge of the tub.

Quietly muttering to himself he sorts through the cabinets looking for any form of first aid items. He lets out a string of curses before finally turning towards you.

“Not much to work with here.” Grabbing your leg he props it up on the closed toilet and begins to undo the towel.

He starts by cleaning the wound with the minuscule amount of hydrogen peroxide he found. Then he begins to bunch up the toilet paper, pressing it into the teeth marks littering the lower part of your leg. Wrapping it tightly he pulls away and discarded all the bloody items.

“So what’s the verdict doc?”

“Well, I think you’ll survive,” he jokes before growing serious again, “you had me scared.”

The small smile fades from your face. “I’m sorry.”

“Promise me you won’t go getting hurt again.” He searches your eyes, silently begging you to listen.

“We all know what we signed up for when we decided to fight this monster.”

Moving closer he grabs your hands. “I can’t lose you.”

You open your mouth before promptly shutting it, unsure of how to respond to that.

“We’re all gonna make it through this,” you reassure him.

“No, you don’t understand. I can’t lose you.” He squeezes your hands.

“Oh,” you’re at a loss for words. Grasping at any thought you can you ask, “What about Nancy?”

The second the words come out you want to take them back. Nothing like ruining a possible moment by mentioning an ex. Right now you’d give anything for a gate to open under you and suck you back into the upside-down.

“Nancy is with Jonathan, we are just friends.”

“We’re just friends too though.”

He lets out a laugh and you can’t help but let a smile rest on your features. “Do you seriously not see that I would do anything for you. I care about you more than I care about anyone else.”

“Even Dustin?” you ask.

“Yes, absolutely, just don’t tell him. I’d never hear the end of it. How can I prove it?”

You squeeze his hands and chew your bottom lip pretending to think of something. He shifts impatiently, clearly not handling the waiting well. Finally, you release his hand and reach your bloodstained hand up to cup his cheek.

“Close your eyes,” you whisper. When he does you lean up and place your lips over his. You pull back before he gets the chance to reciprocate.

He blinks his eyes open, the smile on his face growing to match yours. “Your turn, close your eyes.” This time when your lips touch neither of you hold back. Your lips move against each other as if they had done this a million times before. You let your hands slide into his tangled hair and you pull on the strands trying to bring him closer.

“So do you believe me yet?” he asks with a smirk.

“Not quite,” you laugh before pulling him in again.

The moment is interrupted by Dustin banging on the door. “Hey come on stop hogging the bathroom.

“I’m gonna kill that shithead,” Steve grumbles before lacing his fingers with yours. Standing to make his way towards the door you pull him back.

“Before we go back out there and dive headfirst into monster hunting again, promise me that we will both walk out of this shitshow together.”

“I promise you that no matter what happens we will get through it together.” He punctuates his point with a kiss on your forehead. Hand in hand you make your way back into the living room ready to take on whatever is thrown your way.

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come-on-darling-honey · 1 year

Text

stupid and heartbroken. [Embry Call x reader]

You and Leah Clearwater have something in common, heartbreak and a inclining to stupid decisions. Slowly you and Leah find the secrets of the Reservation that took your best friend, Embry, slowly unravel themselves to you. But not without a little blood, tears, and love.

word count; 2.5k

PART ONE PART TWO PART THREE

Chapter three: explanations at Emily’s.

Embry, Bella and I rode in the front of the truck. I sat between them. Bella and Embry made light conversation. Jared was in the back; I could imagine how it felt to have the wind gliding across him. It’d be better than having Embry and Bella stuffed in next to me, my thighs touching Embry’s.

“Drive me home.” I said, my throat dry. I didn’t want to go to Emily’s. I wanted to go home. I didn’t want any part of this. “Or take me to Leah’s.”

Embry’s voice was soft as he told me that Emily’s house was safe and that they needed to explain to me what I saw. Bella assured me too. I didn’t want any part of this. I looked at Embry, he had deep circles under his eyes. His posture frail and his nails had obviously been bitten. He looked horrible, a small part of me was bitter that he deserved to feel like shit. That it wasn’t fair what he did. But an even smaller part of me felt a hallow ache within my heart. That ache grew bigger as we turned into Emily’s. it felt weirdly good to sit next to him, to be within his space, he sat straighter than he had in weeks.

I’d only been to Emily’s a handful of times when I wasn’t close with Leah and went to buy the vegetables she sells. The house was covered in flowers and plants, it was beautiful. Jared went in talking with Bella about something I couldn’t be bothered to listen. I’d decided I would sleep in Bella’s truck and would do nothing about what has just happened, I’ll sleep then Bella will come back and drive me to Leah’s.

“Come on sleepy head.” Embry said, lightly pulling me out of the truck. Clearly aware of my plans to sleep away the issue I was avoiding. I wanted to burrow within myself. Curse Bella for making me come all this way but I felt so perfectly seen in Embry’s arm.

“I really hate you; you know.” I whispered to him, keeping my voice steady and monotone. I wanted to be mean. To hurt him. He sighed and said he knows. I didn’t hate him, it’s like what Leah said. You are angry at what the situation is not the person you love. I was certain she didn’t love Sam anymore. Any crumb of that had been washed away. But she loved Emily, deeply and unequivocally. She was angry at her and had told me she felt physically sick when she last saw her but knows she’s grieving the relationship they had. When all of this first happened, before I’d met Leah, she’d been so angry at what had happened she’d trashed Sam’s place. Turned it upside down. She didn’t regret it though; she’d do it again. She just wished she’d stayed longer to spit in his face. Her mom had told her that she shouldn’t take her anger out like this, the people around Leah expected her to cry. Leah didn’t cry, Leah screamed. I hurt with my words, she hurt with her actions. ‘It’s like they underestimate how I am,’ she’d told me once, laughing about how Jacob’s dad compared the pair of us and how we didn’t cry. She was methodical and cruel; it was addictive to watch.

A soothing voice called my name as I stepped inside, Embry’s arm still wrapped around me. Emily’s long hair framed her face, dark and straight. She had a large scar that dominated her face and arm but was still as beautiful as ever. She hugged me. I was completely stunned, my arms hesitantly wrapped around her. What the fuck. She whizzed back to the kitchen. I stayed to the door. Bella was sat at the table talking to Jared and now Embry who looked back at me.

“Please come sit.” He gestured to the chair beside him. I sat next to Bella instead. Jared winced and Embry looked away, they started talking about wolves and vampires, debating speed and agility. Then Sam came in, complimenting Bella’s ease with this information. I watched as he made a beeline for Emily, kissing her lips and then her scar. He held her waist with such a gentle tenderness I wanted to vomit. Someone called my name again and my eyes moved up to glare at Sam as he spoke, asking how I was feeling. I didn’t respond. Filling the silence Jacob and Paul came in, Paul apologised to Bella and Jacob took Bella outside to explain something. Jared and Paul spoke so loudly I felt as if Sam wouldn’t ask me again. I didn’t want to talk to him. Or be here. I didn’t want to be involved with this [HE(1] shit. My ribs began to tighten, lungs constricted, and it felt like they were filling with salt water again.

“I take it you don’t want to be a part of all this, I get it.” Sam said, his voice strong and stern. I hated that I felt comforted by his presence like he was my older brother.

“I don’t know what this is.” I was surprised at how solid my voice sounded, I was convinced it would be weak and fail me. Sam sat down beside Emily and tried telling me the legends. “I already know the legends.” I interrupted; I expected him to be annoyed at the very least at how rude I was being, but he didn’t he was calm. He looked relived that I’d even stayed here. I could just get up and leave but I didn’t know where Bella was, and I couldn’t just leave her alone.

“Well, they’re all true, and we’d appreciate it if you didn’t tell anyone.” I was about to make a snide comment about no sane person believing me then he added “not even Leah.” The entire kitchen went silent. I guess her name didn’t get mentioned much. “He carefully explained imprinting to me, like he was explaining how to diffuse a bomb as a whole town waited in pained agony. I looked at Embry, his eyes weak. Bile rose in my throat. I looked away, not knowing why I was still here.

Fuck this. My fingers burned as I dug my nails into my palms. I saw Embry move out of the corner of my eye. He shifted in his chair, swallowing something painful. I needed to find Bella and leave, give them a false promise and tell Leah everything, not leave her in the dark like Sam did. I felt drawn to Embry’s side, despite everything, despite myself. I wanted to burrow myself within him, know him better, understand him utterly. Let him give himself to me. As the door opened, I was saved, Bella’s cold hand on my shoulder to let me know she was ready to leave. I got up, quick, abandoning the table. Voices calling my name, Embry’s stood out even though it was the quietest. Maybe I was just too focused on him. I practically ran out of the front door, telling Bella how ‘shitty’ and ‘stupid those shit asses’ were.

“Bella take me to Leah’s.” I could see the apprehension in her face before I looked at her, my gaze still firm on the lush greenery. “Now.” My voice was solid. An old oak tree. Rooted in the grounds of dirt and pain, sweet and bitter. She didn’t protest, sucking in a breath she turned the old truck around heading back into the heart of the reservation, the Clearwater’s. It was late afternoon at this point, the hours went by so fast I barely noticed. Sue was in the front of the house setting up for a family party, one that I’d been invited to of course. As I got out of the truck, I muttered a half-hearted goodbye to Bella, slamming the door a little too hard. I hope she knows I’m not angry with her, but I wouldn’t tell her.

“Go get Leah to come help me.” Sue said as she stopped me for a hug. She smelt like citrus and sandalwood, she smelt like home. My spirits would’ve been lifted if I couldn’t shake the image from my head. Embry sat at that table, slight yet large, eyes dark, pained and never leaving me. Party decorations swarmed the home, some cousin’s birthday or uncle’s anniversary. Leah’s door was shut completely, as usual. But when I opened it, her voice echoed in an angry yell. I walked through and saw her sickly figure. Sweating and panting, red nose and dark eye bags. She was taller somehow, leaner, stronger. She exhaled when she saw me. Not noticing the reclusive way I held myself.

“Thought you were my mom.” She said turning around and grabbing something from the floor. Her pillows and blankets, she must’ve thrown them off as she slept. Her movements were heavy, sluggish. It reminded me of Embry before this all happened. “Pick an outfit for me,” she said, a smile forcing her lips. Leah wouldn’t tell me if she was sick, that I knew. But this would just be the flu. Only the men of the tribe turn when forced to and Leah wasn’t a man, all the sleepovers we’ve had I knew that much. I picked out a T-shirt and baggy jeans, taking one of her dresses to wear myself. As we changed, she started to just look at me.

“what’s wrong?” I laughed.

“I’m so tired.” Her fingers began playing with the duvet as she sat down on her bed, now made. “Like I keep getting so angry it’s like nothing else is even happening. I keep fighting with my mom, more than usual. And..” she trailed off looking out of the window. I sat next to her grabbing her hand and placing it in my lap.

“And?”

“And I can tell you’re hiding something from me.” Shit. How the hell could she tell? If werewolves are real witches are and Leah Clearwater was a mindreading witch. After a few seconds of not saying anything I can’t hold it in anymore, screw Sam Uley. Fuck Embry and fuck all this shit. Leah is the only person who deserves an answer. All I can think about is her, when I eat sleep and breathe all it is, is Leah. How we spoke about the apocalypse and if it ever happened that we’d survive and get a farm, killing anyone in our way for each other.

“I am. I need to tell you now” before I can, before my lungs can bring in air again Sue bursts into the room, talking about family being here and how we both need to get out now, she grabs our wrists and pulls us away. Leah and I look at each other, I with desperation and Leah with a festering anger that is morphing her face. The afternoon air hits me with a welcomed delight. Which is suddenly vomit inducing once I see Sam Uley and his pack of puppies stood around the garden, talking with neighbours or family members of the Clearwater’s.

“I’ll tell you later.” I whisper once Sue lets us go. “I promise.” She doesn’t look like she believes me. I wouldn’t either but I have to tell her.

The sweet afternoon falls into a dark evening slowly and painfully but I stay by Leah’s side throughout, begging for a spare moment where one of the pack aren’t in earshot but those assholes are always fucking near. It’s actually fine when its Quill, at least he entertains us but when it was Embry near I wanted to cry, slouched and frail he stood forcing a choked laugh at Harry Clearwater’s joke. It wasn’t funny. I knew he was watching me, when Leah’s arm went around me, he straightened, it seemed like a spike of jealousy mixed with pure raged flew through him. Leah was so warm, like burning warm but it was freezing, and the dress didn’t offer much for warmth.

“Can I talk to you?” A voice asked, pulling me out of my thoughts. It was the one I couldn’t stop thinking about, Embry.

“She doesn’t want to talk to you, fuck off.” Leah almost shouted, her voice rumbling from the deepest part of her chest. I assured her it was fine and mustered all my might to stand up, holding my own arms for warmth as I left Leah’s side.

“I’m sorry for how this happened, I didn’t want you to find out. But I did even though I didn’t want to.” He rambled trying to sort through his mind. I couldn’t interrupt him even if I tried. “But I don’t want you to think this is the only reason I like you, that the truth is I’ve felt this way since we were kids and nothing changed it. That I’m sorry I left but if I’d you know, in front of you. I think our situation would be a lot worse.” I think of Emily and the scar across her face and body. He’d felt like this for so long but when did he know. Know that he… and I…

“When.” I demanded, staring into his eyes with a fire so uncontrollable it burned me. “when did you know it was me,” this would be a really bad time to vomit but oh god it was just so much. I could smell the fire and the food, hear everyone talking about different things and feel his breath on me, warm and hot. His hands on my waist and arm. Letting out a shaky breath he told me the one thing that had been crushing me since the day it happened.

“I was there when you were cliff diving, I was phased and watching you, and” he breathed onto me, his forehead pressing against mine. “And I knew then, I’m sorry.” I looked into his eyes, into him. Seeing him for himself for the first time in weeks. It felt as if my head was lighter, a feeling no drug I’d tried could emulate. As our lips connected, moving in a sweet and perfect sync his hand that held my arm moved to the back of my head. We moved closer, his warm body melting into me. My head was fuzzy, light and sweet. Tongues moved in a fluid motion, as one. His warm arms around me, one of mine cupping his cheek the other raking through his hair.

But before we could move apart on our own accords my body was gently thrown behind him, screams and yells followed two seconds later. A tree log was thrown in our direction, Embry deflected it. The lights were a blur as I stood up, his arm around me. Leah was shaking, screaming at her mom, as her body shifted, morphed. Bones snapped and changed, she was a wolf. Large and scared. This wasn’t supposed to happen. She ran into the wood line. Sam, Paul and Jared all ran after her shifting into the woods. Harry Clearwater fell to the ground, hand gripping his chest. We ran over, I pulled Seth away. His eyes were huge and scared he couldn’t look away.

end of chapter three.

an/ sorry for the late upload! i thought i uploaded this last week! I've been struggling recently but writing this made me feel so much better, i hope it makes someone feel at least the smallest bit better for reading it. Has anyone else watched all of TLOU? Our beloved actor Graham Greene was in it! I'm planning to rewatch the game plays of part two. Leah and the readers friendship is borderline romantic, they care for each other so deeply and intimately it would be hard to ignore it. Asks are open! colourblind is coming. i love you, take care. -em x

#leah clearwater imagine #leah clearwater #embry call x reader #embry call imagine #twilight embry #embry x reader #embry call #embry twilight #x you #x reader #x yn #twilight wolves #new moon twilight #bella swan x reader #leah clearwater x reader #twilight renaissance #twilight revival #twilight imagine

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