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Real Eyes, Fake Lies (Part Ten)

Pairing: soulmate!Lee Jihoon x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 4.2k

Warnings: Hanahaki!AU, angst, alcohol consumption, green-eyed monster named jealousy, tears, lots of crying, heartbreak, mentions of death, suggestive thoughts? guilt, swearing

Summary: What do you do when you find out the one person that was created by the universe to be yours doesn’t want you back?

A/N: It has been a long time coming! Oh my goodness guys, thank you so much for your incredible patience with me as I have been navigating my life into the new year and getting my life together essentially. I finally (with the support of my friendos) managed to get this up and out for you all! Thank you all as always for your love and support of refl! 🥰

- Tae 💜🌸✨

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Jihoon was so fucked.

To his credit, he is trying. Trying to ignore the fact that his body feels some sort of attraction towards his soulmate, situated only a few feet away from him on a beach chair. Trying to ignore the ink embedded into your skin along your collarbone that he can see out of his peripheral vision.

Trying to ignore temptation.

Your sunglasses are pushed up your nose to keep the sun out of your eyes, having opted to let the sun warm your body up instead of making your way into the water. It’s unusual for Jihoon to see you so still and so silent, simply basking in the sunlight as a hand belonging to Jisoo reaches up to pat your calf. Jihoon immediately scowls to himself when he sees the older man glance up at you from his towel, asking quietly if you’re good to which you respond with a little nod and smile before leaning your head back again and relaxing into the beach chair.

Your soulmate heaves a soft sigh as he checks his phone for the fourth time in the last two hours. Ji-ah was due to arrive back in Seoul soon and he has been growing increasingly more worried the longer it takes for her to not answer.

“Y/N!” A loud voice rouses you from your hungover slumber, causing you to whine and look at the shadow that is now blocking the sun from you that comes in the form of a 6’2 man named Kim Mingyu.

“Mm?” You grumble.

“Why won’t you come swimming with us?” he pouts at you, hands on his hips.

“I’m having my enrichment time out of my enclosure.” You deadpan, eyes closing again, a little grin forming on your face as you hear Mingyu let out a loud whine.

“Please can you come in the water?”

“Why does it have to be me?” You groan.

“Because Wonwoo can’t do swimming because of an accident when he was younger, Kwan and Sol are in their own little honeymoon phase world over there,” he points to said couple who are making an intricate sand castle, “Minnie is hanging off Soonie-hyung like a rash, Hannie-hyung will just attempt to use us all as a floatation device-”

“What makes you think I won’t do the same?” You raise your eyebrow.

“AND,” he glares at you, ignoring your comment. “Your brother is sulking that it’s only me who is playing with him. Please?”

“Do I have to?” You throw your head back with a dramatic sigh.

“If you don’t come in the water willingly, I will have to take you by force, Y/Nie.”

“Ha ha ha.” You roll your eyes. “I’d like to see you try.”

Jihoon has kept his back to you both for the entirety of your interaction with Mingyu, deciding on his own that he needs to actually follow Jeonghan’s advice and actively make an effort to at least attempt to ignore you and help you move on. He is finding it extremely difficult, however, due to the bikini you’re currently in looking too inviting for you to wriggle your way into his thoughts like a catchy song that can’t seem to escape his brain.

Mingyu seems to take your words as a challenge though, as not even two seconds later, Jihoon is alerted by a shriek coming from you.

“KIM MINGYU!” You try and scold, the large man having now scooped you up into his arms, marching his way towards the water. Jeonghan and Wonwoo both begin to laugh at the way you flail and kick to no avail.

“Yes, Y/Nie?” Mingyu grins at you, and you thrash more.

“Kim Mingyu, I swear if you don’t put me the fuck down right now…”

“Oh, put you down?” He smirks. “Okay!”

“YAH!” You let out another squeal as he moves to drop you, but you’re faster. You immediately wrap your arms and legs around his torso, squeezing onto him for dear life. Seungcheol bursts out laughing at the sight of you, a big smile on his face as he watches on.

“I meant out of the water, you BRAT!” You smack at Mingyu’s back, who only trudges deeper into the water. You whine loudly and cling tighter to him.

“Are you sure you want to call me a brat when I could sink both of us into the water right now?” He raises his eyebrows at you, arms down by his sides as you hold onto him like a backpack..

“Yah!” You whimper, burying your face into his shoulder. Jihoon bristles at the feeling in his stomach. “Okay, okay, I’m sorry! I’ll hang out!”

“Told you it would work.” Mingyu smirks to your brother, who only grins back triumphantly.

“I hate that you know me too well.” You groan, carefully untangling yourself from the overgrown puppy’s broad back, shivering at the feeling of the cold water as you sink your feet into the salty beach water. “I swear to god though, if you try to push me under the water, I will end you.”

Soonyoung only giggles at the glare on your face, glancing back to the shore at Jeonghan. “Hyung, isn’t she cute when she’s angry?”

“The cutest!” Jeonghan calls back, an amused smirk forming on his face as you shoot your brother’s soulmate a glare.

“I hate you all.” You grumble, crossing your arms with a pout, only making the boys around you giggle more.

“Oh come here, you big baby.” Seokmin turns around, offering his back to you.

Jihoon feels the immediate change in your mood lift to excitement, glancing over to see you happily perched up on Seokmin’s back, who wades slowly through the water with you comfortably resting against him.

“Thank you Minnie~” You sing sweetly, hugging around his shoulders.

“Hey!” Mingyu points accusingly at you. “That isn’t fair! I went through all that work to bring you out here only to have you be coddled in the water too?”

“Be grateful I’m even here, Mingyu.” You playfully glare at him, Seokmin turning you away from him as Soonyoung starts cooing and patting your head, making you grin.

“Aish, what are we going to do with you…”

For the next hour, Jihoon knows he is torturing himself by listening to the others around him (aka you) have fun. Him, alongside Jeonghan, Wonwoo, Seungkwan and Hansol watches as you with the others play happily around in the water. For the better part of twenty minutes, the game of choice, chosen by the birthday boy, has been Marco Polo. You have opted out of this game, your soulmate keeping an eye on your head currently nestled against Seokmin’s warm shoulder, eyes fluttering closed as the heat from the sun covers you like a blanket and makes your sleepiness return at full force. You look peaceful, he thinks.

His calm thoughts soon turn to discomfort as he feels his phone vibrate against his pocket, hurriedly reaching down to check the text, only to feel himself deflate at the message from his girlfriend.

Made it safe. x

No nickname, no warmth, no nothing. This is seriously unlike Ji-ah at all, and it has Jihoon nervous. Should he reply like normal? Or should he give his girlfriend the space she needs to handle her emergency?

“Jihoon-ah?” Wonwoo’s voice cuts his thoughts short, startling his housemate as he turns to stare at him with wide eyes. “You okay over there?”

“Uh, y-yeah.” He hums slightly. “Ji-ah just let me know she made it home safely.”

“That’s good, isn’t it?”

Is it?

“Yeah, I suppose.” Jihoon replies after a short pause, sighing quietly.

“It’s okay to be worried about her.” Wonwoo smiles at him, patting his shoulder gently. “After all, she is your-”

“YAH!” Your voice squeals out, alarming the others as they turn to look at the ocean. You’re swatting at your brother, who is loudly cackling and snatching you from Seokmin’s arms. “Get away from me, you big buffoon!”

The others upon the shore begin to laugh and smile at Seungcheol as he spins you around bridal style. “You dare be rude to your big brother on his birthday, hmm?”

“HANNIE OPPA!” You shriek as Jihoon glances at your brother’s soulmate, who simply smirks back. “DO SOMETHING ABOUT YOUR SOULMATE!”

“And ruin my hair if I fall into the water? You’re on your own, Ladybug.”

“You bast-AAAAAH!” You yelp as Seungcheol tosses you to Mingyu, who catches you effortlessly. “I hate you all!”

“What did I do?!” Seungkwan fires back immediately, wagging his finger dramatically at you as the others laugh at the joyful mood surrounding them all.

Jihoon breathes a sigh of relief at the change of subject from Wonwoo’s questioning, letting his head lean back to briefly glance at the sky as he delves back into his own thoughts.“Aw, come on guys, leave the girl alone!” Jisoo chuckles as he rises from his towel, tucking a surfboard under his arm. He jogs into the sea, sitting up on his board as he paddles his way over to the group. “Come here, Goober. I’ll save you from these punks.” He laughs as Mingyu turns away from him, holding you tight to his chest.

“Nuh-uh! She stays with us!”

“She’s not going to stray far, promise.” He pats the board gently, making the tall man sigh and plonk you down in front of your childhood friend.

“Thank you, Shua’ppa.” You smile sweetly at him before poking your tongue out at Mingyu, who huffs and splashes you playfully, making you yelp.

“Do you know how to surf, Goob?” Jisoo asks gently, giving you a cheeky grin.

“Hong Jisoo.” You deadpan, raising an eyebrow. “I am a homebody girl from Daegu. What do you think?”

“Well,” he ignores your sass, crossing his arms across his chest as you mimic him. “Would you like to learn?”

“When I feel like throwing up from how the ocean is rocking me right now?” You laugh. “I think that’s a recipe for disaster.”

“Hmm.. you make a compelling argument.” He hums sagely, reaching up and stroking his chin, trying not to grin at the sound of your giggles. “How about then I teach you how to keep your balance on the board? No wave riding.”

“Can you guarantee that I won’t fall in?” Jisoo simply raises his hand up, his pinky extended to link with yours, flashing you an angelic smile. You narrow your eyes for a moment before reaching out to link your pinky with his. “I swear, if I fall in…”

“Trust me, Goober!”

Jihoon blinks and raises his head as he feels your amusement filling his veins, eyes coming into focus as he curiously gazes out to the sea to see why you’re feeling this way.

Your legs are shaking as you attempt to stand on the idle surfboard, your nervous laughs reaching down to where your soulmate sits. Jisoo is standing behind you with his large hands settled delicately on your bare waist, keeping you steady as he talks quietly into your ear on how to stand correctly that Jihoon can’t hear.

Jihoon feels his hair stand on end as his eyes zero in on the older man’s hands resting on your bare skin, bristling in his chair slightly.

“You can do it, Ladybug!” Jeonghan is cheering from the shore, an amused grin on his face as you flip him off.

“Focus, Goober.” Jisoo’s voice is steady as he keeps his hands on you.

You take a deep breath, standing with your legs apart as he directs you, biting down on your lip and holding your arms out to keep your balance, your eyes squeezing shut.

“That’s it!” Seungcheol cheers you on from the water, keeping a hold on the surfboard so it doesn’t toss and tip as much.

“Look at her go, babe!” Seungkwan coos excitedly to Hansol from their spot in the sand, as his soulmate watches on with an amused smile.

“Bug, open your eyes!” Soonyoung laughs at your scrunched up face.

“Goober,” Jisoo laughs, both hands now in the air. “You’re doing it. Open your eyes.”

You slowly open your eyes, looking down to see your legs balancing on the board. Your eyes widen as you look around at Soonyoung, Seokmin, Seungcheol and Mingyu in the water, all cheering excitedly at you and Jisoo standing behind you with a proud grin.

“Holy fuck.” You laugh nervously. “I’m doing it.”

“WOOHOO!” Seungkwan cheers from ashore, waving excitedly with Hansol as Wonwoo simply gives you a thumbs up from beside your soulmate, who just stares with a bewildered look on his face, not knowing how to comprehend the feelings that are in his stomach.

“See?” Jisoo smiles charmingly at you, leaning in to press his lips to your temple. “I told you that you could do it.”

Jihoon grimaces at the shy smile that graces your face.

“Jihoon-ssi?”

“Hmm?” Jihoon’s brain switches into focus at the sound of your brother's voice calling out for him.

They had been back at the campsite now for roughly two hours after a long birthday dinner in the city for Seungcheol, full of fried chicken and even more alcohol. Everyone now has settled down around the campfire, ready for a final night of alcohol and drinking games for the last hurrah of the trip.

“Soonyoungie said that you are studying music production.” He smiles warmly at him. Jihoon bristles. “What made you want to pursue that?”

“O-oh.” He stutters. “Umm..”

It’s not that he was afraid of his soulmate’s brother and the fact that if he knew that he rejected his precious sister, he’d rip his head off, no, it was the fact that Jihoon isn’t a very sociable person. He has never been one to hold any type of conversation for very long with anyone unless it was something he was passionate about. Luckily for him, music is one of his specialties that he could go on for hours about. So, he does.

”My older cousin is an amateur producer and songwriter.” Jihoon quietly smiles. “He has a few albums that he’s made at the moment. His soulmate does choreography for some of his tracks. I always thought he was really cool and wanted to follow his footsteps and do what he does. I guess I’m kind of his protege now?” He shrugs his shoulders nervously with a chuckle. “There’s just something I find really interesting about breaking down a song into different segments and sections, and creating completely new beats and melodies from the source material.”

“Wow,” Seungcheol replies with curious eyes. “That’s actually really interesting.”

”I suppose so,” your soulmate nods his head as he smiles shyly to himself.

“Do you plan on releasing things in the future?”

“Oh! Um.. Maybe?” He blinks. “I write a few things here and there, but they’re not very good, I don’t think.”

“Don’t downplay your skills and hobbies, Jihoon-ssi.” Seungcheol pats his shoulder once as he rises from his spot by the campfire. “If you enjoy it, that’s all that matters.” He makes his way to grab himself a second serving of the birthday cake you had brought from your work for the final night of Seungcheol’s birthday celebrations.

Jihoon smiles to himself.

He is so kind. No wonder you turned out so well. After all, he did help raise you for most of your teen years.

“It’s not tap, tap, kick,” Soonyoung instructs loudly. “It’s tap, kick, tap! Yah, don’t you remember anything from this routine, Kwan-ah?”

“We made this dance four years ago, Hyung.” Seungkwan glares, hand on his hip. “Please spare me for not remembering a dance that is nearly HALF A DECADE old.”

“NO EXCUSES!” He shouts back, pointing dramatically as he begins to get back into position. “Five, six, seven, eight!” Seungkwan groans and begrudgingly begins to move in time to Soonyoung’s movements, much to your amusement as you weave your way through the camping chairs, bundles of bracelets in hand.

“One for you,” You chirp, two bottles of soju deep as you slide a bracelet onto Seungkwan’s wrist as you pass without skipping a beat. “And a specially made tiger one for you,” You coo, squeaking and giggling as Soonyoung takes your hand, twirling you in his arms and dipping you dramatically as the bracelet slides with ease onto his wrist, your loud laugh echoing through the empty forest and right into your soulmate’s ears, sending goosebumps down his arms.

”Thank you, Buggie Wuggie Boo,” Soonyoung coos, making you groan and shove him away.

“ICK!” You yell as you continue to pass bracelets through the group, Jihoon eyeing you out of the corner of his eye as you draw closer towards where he sits. “Here you go, Hannie-Oppa!”

”Thank you, sweetheart.” your brother’s soulmate smiles, ruffling your hair as he admires the colourful beads on his wrist.

Jihoon takes a deep breath as he feels your presence draw closer, eyes downcast as you fiddle with one of two bracelets in your hand. “Jihoon-ssi,” your voice is once again timid and shy, and he dislikes it. “I didn’t know what colour you liked, and I noticed your wardrobe is pretty void of colour, so…” You quietly place a simple black and grey beaded bracelet with his name written in lettered beads in the middle on his lap. “I thought it matches your look.”

Jihoon stares at the bracelet, picking it up and examining it between his fingers. He can feel your nerves running through your stomach, fiddling with the remaining bracelet in your hands. After a soft sigh, Jihoon slips the bracelet onto his wrist, cheeks warming at the kind gesture of you still including him.

“It’s perfect.” Jihoon smiles softly to you. “Thank you, Y/N.”

Your cheeks flush as you give him a small smile, turning and making your way towards Chan, who said quietly beside Wonwoo as he ate.

“I saved the best bracelet for last,” you smile to the youngest, sliding the final bracelet onto his wrist delicately.

“What colour is it, Noona?” Chan asks quietly, staring at the beads intently.

“Well,” you begin, sitting down beside him. “I made this with every coloured bead I could think of. It’s a rainbow.”

“Huh?” Chan balked, tilting his head. “Why would you do that? I can’t even see them…”

”I made it this way because then, the day that you meet your soulmate,” you nudge the bracelet, “you will be able to see all the colours of the rainbow straight away.” Your eyes light up with a little smile.

Jihoon’s stomach drops at the sound of hope and joy in your voice that is almost infectious, and he scowls to himself.

“Hannie-Oppa did the same for me, see?” You chirp, holding your hand out and showing Chan your nails, now chipped and slightly overgrown. “He gave me all the colours I could have on my hand, and I wanted to do the same to you.”

“B-but…” Chan takes a quiet breath. “Noona.. wh-what if… what if I meet my soulmate and it doesn’t work out? What if… what if I’m left behind and look like a complete fool?” He stares at his lap, knee bouncing nervously.

Your soulmate feels a twist of discomfort in his gut at the maknae’s question, turning his head to see the same discomfort evident on your face.

“Chan-ah,” you smile softly, reaching up to ruffle his hair. “Don’t be silly.”

“B-but you-”

“Uh-uh-uh,” you wiggle your finger at him. “Things like that only happen to people like me, who are just simply unlucky in life.” Jihoon feels the dagger pressing against his chest. “You, little one, are lucky, and I know your soulmate will be absolutely smitten with you when you meet. And, in that impossible scenario,” You bump your shoulder against his, “you’ll always have all of these guys here to spend time with. And even Noona too.” You add on for good measure, smiling sweetly at him. Jihoon feels the dagger twist inside him. Chan shyly smiles back, leaning his head against your shoulder, signaling for you to give him a big side hug, cheek resting against the top of his head.

“Promise I’ll always have you, Noona?”

“Silly boy,” You giggle. “I couldn’t leave you alone, even if I tried.” You ruffle his hair once more, causing him to whine and swat your arm, your giggle growing once more as Jihoon feels his stomach twist and tighten, a million thoughts once again flooding his thoughts.

“Okay,” Seokmin settles comfortably in his chair, looking around at the circle. “Here’s a question.” He hums quietly at the small group that has formed around him of you, Wonwoo, Jisoo, Jeonghan and Jihoon. “If you could have one wish that could be granted, what would you wish for?” Before anyone can open their mouths, he points aggressively towards Jeonghan. “NO WISHING FOR MORE WISHES!”

“Yah, you’re no fun.” Jeonghan whines, slumping in his chair and crossing his arms.

“I would wish for…” Wonwoo mumbles. “Being able to have enough money in my pocket at all times to be able to afford what I need at that time.”

”That is… oddly specific.” Jisoo chuckles.

“But practical.” Seokmin grins.

“I would wish for Seokminnie to let me answer questions the way I want to.” Jeonghan huffs, shooting him a playful glare as Seokmin gasps loudly, pressing his hand to his chest in shock,

“How dare you!”

”What about you, Goob?” Jisoo nudges your side with a little smile.

“I’d wish soulmates didn’t exist.”

The group falls silent, the air filling with awkward tension as they balk, trying to think of an answer.

“Bug, I…”

“Not for the reason you think.” You mutter, staring into the fire with a dull look on your face. “If soulmate’s didn’t exist, I’d only have divorced parents, not a dead mother and an absent father. If soulmate’s didn’t exist, I’d still be able to go home and see my mother and tell her about how my day went. If soulmate’s didn’t exist, I’d actually be wanted.”

Jihoon feels his heart twist, teeth digging into his bottom lip as he eyes your face. You look empty. Jihoon can’t feel a thing, and that frightens him.

“C’mere.” Jisoo takes your hand delicately, leading you to a small clearing; the same clearing that Jihoon went to the night before.

The little conversations start him again, Jihoon’s ears zeroing in on Jeonghan’s light scolding to Seokmin as to why he’d ask such a ridiculous question. His ears are ringing as your emotionless words echo through his head, making him feel worse than he ever has before.

“Goober…” Jisoo encourages you quietly to speak.

“Remember how you asked me yesterday if I was okay?” Your voice shakes. “If I was broken?”

Jisoo nods slowly, hand resting on your shoulder.

“A-and I said to you I was fine?”

“Mhm…”

“I-I.. I’m not. I’m not okay.” You whimper, bottom lip trembling. “I’m living a good life, I have a job I love, friends and family who care about me, I can-” you hiccup. “I-I can see colour… and I’m fucking broken.”

You let out a loud sob, a heartbroken wail, letting yourself fall into Jisoo’s arms, your face burying into the warmth of his sweater as your arms wrap tightly around him. Jisoo feels his own tears filling his eyes at the sound of your broken cries, your hands gripping the back of his sweater for dear life, as if afraid he would disappear.

”I know, Goob… Don’t worry, I got you. Let it out.”

“Are you sure it’s been resolved?” Jihoon smiles at Ji-ah as they stroll through the street, making their way to Love Letter cafe.

It has been a week since he has returned from Busan with you and the others; the group having been mostly quiet as they recovered from the long weekend of partying and merging back into their daily lives. This is the first time Jihoon has seen his girlfriend, having given her space to get through her emergency. He’s finally happy he is able to have a date with her after being at university all week and catching up on the projects he wasn’t able to do while on the road trip.

“Yes, babe, I’m sure.” Ji-ah smiles back at him. For some reason, though, Jihoon finds the smile uneasy and almost hollow, and he can’t figure out why until a quiet voice cuts his thoughts short.

“Ji-ah?”

He pauses as he sees a tall man in front of him with a single rose in his left hand, right hand reaching up to scratch the back of his neck.

“Hajoon.” Ji-ah whispers out with a nervous breath, almost like she’s been caught.

Jihoon freezes at the sight in front of him - his not-soulmate with red tinged cheeks and shy smile on her face, and a stranger looking just as shy and sheepish smiling back at her. He feels his stomach drop as his mind flashes with realization at the scene unfolding in front of him.

He knows the look on her face. He has seen that look before with Wonwoo and Mingyu, Junhui and Minghao, and especially with Seungcheol and Jeonghan.

His heart breaks a little, as Jihoon knows in his heart that he’s already lost his girlfriend to her real love, her soulmate.

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