#and she's that person that overthinks and is like BUT IS THIS DEEP LOVE PLATONIC OR ROMANTIC | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

valewosomtb · 2 months

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not a burden|| a. Putellas × platonic!reader

warnings: literally none

a/n: Lowkey wrote this based on some personal experience and just had to get it out off my system, love the fear of missing out🤪

You always felt like a second choice. Like you were always there just when some of your so-called friends didn't have anyone else to hang out with. But that is also what your love life, or whatever you should call it since there's not even L from your love life in existence, looked like.

When you find someone you like or you're just attracted to, and you try to pursue it to see where the things go, you somehow end up being heartbroken because that person has someone else or they just haven't gotten over their ex OR you're just a distraction. In the most of the cases, you were just a distraction.

It happened too many times you thought it was a reason you were scared of commitment. That was also a reason why you were scared of opening up to people when you just KNOW they're gonna use it against you or just use you.

Another problem was, that you were a people pleaser. You'd always put someone else's happiness before yours. Even if it killed you. As long as you got to please someone.

Everyone on the team knew your fun, smiley, chaotic, spontaneous side. Almost no one knew the real you. You were always the one to make everyone laugh with your incredibly bad jokes or dumb ideas you always came up with. Even after a bad game, you were the one who would try to cheer everyone up and motivate them.

You were closest to Alexia and Keira. Keira helped you when you signed with Barça and Alexia took you under her wing when she saw how adorable you were the first time when you met her and were a big stuttering mess since she was your idol for a long time.

From time to time, you get into your head. There are some periods when you do nothing but overthink everything. From your performances on training or in the game, to just your relationships with everyone around you.

Everyone told you that you were a very likable person and that there can't be many people who don't like you. You strongly disagreed with that statement.

Especially, in this period when you can't help but think about your relationships in the team.

It was another day, another training, you woke up early in the morning like every other morning, had a little breakfast, and went for a 3-mile run. You just loved running it made your mind clean and easy, and your thoughts stopped running as your legs started. This was the only time you felt happy with yourself.

After you finished, your legs burned but you couldn't care less. You got a quick shower and then got ready for the main training of the day. As you were driving to the stadium the overthinking got louder. All you could think about was do you actually belonged there and do others wanted you there.

You were the first one there, as usual, you were thankful for that. You were walking slowly towards the locker room, when you got there you just sat there and stared at the wall across from you. Just sitting there, overthinking, you were so deep in your thoughts that you didn't even realize that the locker room was already full.

You quickly wiped the tear from your cheek and continued to get ready as everyone else. As you were getting ready to go out on the field, you realized that no one greeted you, like you weren't even there. That just confirmed your overthinking… no one cared about you.

What you didn't think about was that your cubby was far from others and that everyone else greeted you, you just didn't hear because you were spaced out.

Another thing that confirmed your overthinking was when you heard everyone else talking about some kind of team building that supposedly happened yesterday. This was the first time you heard something about that. Did they forget to invite you?

„I can't believe you did that! You and Mapi need to stop challenging each other.“ You heard Lucy say. The fear of missing out was triggering slowly.

„You're right about that, I think it's time for us to stop with that bullshit, “ Patri said with a laugh following, „What I'm more surprised about was that Alexia let us do it at her place!“

Alexia's place? Alexia hosted the team building night. And she forgot to invite you? Or she just didn't want you there and that's why she didn't invite you?

Your head started to spin. You quickly rushed to the bathroom, sat down on a toilet, and tried to calm down. It must've been a misunderstanding of some kind. Right?

You tried to convince yourself. You haven't heard from Alexia in a while, since she was still out because of the small injury. Maybe she got bored of you, she didn't want some stupid 20-year-old bothering her all the fucking time. Your head was just getting worse.

When you managed to calm down, you walked back to the locker room you saw that you were the last one there.

After a long day you had, you finally arrived home, you got into your apartment, locked your doors, and just left your training bag on the floor next to the door. You were too emotionally drained to go shower and too tired to go to the bedroom you found your couch and just laid down and just….stared at the ceiling.

At some point in the day, you fell asleep. You woke up the next day, and you were still too tired to move, you just sent a text to Jona that you weren't feeling well and that you wouldn't be attending training today. But you also realized that you didn't get any messages from anyone, literally nobody texted you. No one needed you.

You threw the phone away and continued with what you know best. Overthinking.

As you were just laying there, silent crying, the tears were just flowing out of your eyes, and you realized something.

YOU were the one who always checked up on others when they were missing from training. YOU were always the first one to text someone when you were planning something. YOU were always the one to make sure everyone got home safe after a night out.

That's right there.

That right there was what you kids these days call, your last straw. Your thirteenth reason.

At the Barça's training grounds, Alexia finally got back to train with the team, and she was really happy and excited about it. She greeted everyone on the way to the locked room. When she walked into the locker room, everyone cheered, like the queen just walked in…which she is.

The first question she asked was „Where's y/n?“ that made everyone look around and see that you indeed weren't there.

„Oh, shit, I knew that something was missing here, “Lucy said. After that everyone got on the field and Jona said that you weren't feeling well. Everyone just nodded with understanding but Alexia didn't buy it. Something wasn't right. You never miss training, even when you don't feel good.

At your apartment, you made progress... you went from the couch to the floor, since you always loved laying or sitting on the floor because it was comfortable. Still thinking how you're worthless and that no one wants you to be here. You finally took your phone and scrolled through social media, where were all the photos and videos posted from the team hangout. You saw how much fun they had... without you.

They were better off…without you.

You were a burden.

You saw the recent stories that everyone posted. Even Alexia. But still not one message.

The training finished and Alexia drove straight to your apartment. Fortunately, it wasn't far from the training grounds or her apartment, so she arrived pretty fast.

She walked up to the door and knocked. No answer. That made her knock a little louder.

„Y/n, please open up I know you can hear me.“ Alexia begged.

The knocking and the yelling made you snap out of it. You stood up and slowly walked to the door. You opened them but not fully.

„What are you doing here, Alexia?“ you asked tiredly. You didn't know how to feel about this visit.

„Um, are you gonna let me in or will I have to let myself in?“ she asked with a raised eyebrow.

You just sighed and moved to open the doors fully and let her in. When she walked in, she took a look around your place and then turned back to you and actually at your appearance.

„Are you okay? Are you sick? What's the matter?“ she asked with all seriousness. Every person who looks into her eyes can see that she cares, but not your eyes or your head.

„Why do you care?“ you said with a scoff and walked towards the living room.

That comment made Alexia confused. Why wouldn't she care?

„Of course, I care. You never miss a training even when you're not feeling well, you would attend a training. Even though I sometimes disagree with that you're stubborn“

„Sure you do.“

„Y/n, what is this about? Why are you acting like this?“

„ACTING LIKE WHAT, ALEXIA? Tell me, acting like fucking what?!“ you threw it at her. It took her by surprise, she didn't expect this from you.

„Don't yell at me! I'm your captain, and I ne- „

Of course, Alexia fucking Putellas!! Captain of FC Barcelona. Only cares about her team and the reputation of her team and that HER team makes HER look good in front of everyone else. She's always „busy“ with, so-called captain duties, that she can't even text me, or answer her phone when I call her. ESPECIALLY WHEN I NEED HER THE MOST!!“ you were just spitting everything out. It made you feel good. You couldn't stop, for once you made yourself feel better.

„ I'm so fucking tired Alexia…Why am I such a burden to you? Do you not like me or something? What did I do to you that made you hate me so fucking much? If I bother you so much, you should just tell me. Also, the whole fucking team hates me. I thought that for once I could say that I belonged somewhere, but no. I'm always the second choice or the third most of the time the last choice. No one wants me in this team…I'm a terrible player, I'll never be like you or Mariona or Caro.“ You broke totally. You started to sob. Alexia couldn't watch you like this, she wanted to help you and the first thing she thought of was to pull you in the biggest hug.

When you felt her arms around you, you broke down completely. She held you for a good while, her shirt stained from your tears, she couldn't care less.

You finally stopped shaking and calmed down. When you you were ready, Alexia pulled away but not totally. She put her hands on your shoulders and made you look at her, so you hear her out.

„First of all, I want to apologize for not checking up on you more often, especially now since I understand you're having a hard time. I would also like to apologize for not answering your calls but I have really been busy and I was planning on calling you back I just forgot. Second of all, if I ever hear you talk like that about yourself I'll personally kick your ass,“ as she was telling you this, you finally managed to look at her. You saw her eyes a little glassed because of her tears.

„I see you as my little sister, you're not a burden, y/n. And I want you to remember that. I don't know what made you think that but I'm sorry if I made you feel like that. And also if you want I can talk to the team about that but I can tell you for sure that everyone adores you.“ You listened to her and tried to trust the words that she was saying but your head was a little louder.

„ And I also wanted to say, you'll never be like Mariona, Caro, or me. You'll be way better than us combined, especially if you continue to work as hard as you do now. I idolize your hard-working habits.“ She finished her speech. And you believed her. For once, you think you have someone who will hear you out when you have this kind of episode.

„Do you mean that?“ you asked her hesitantly.

„Yes, I do. And when next time you feel like this, I want you to come to me. Even if I'm busy, I'll make time for you.“ She said and gave you a small smile.

You smiled back at her and pulled her in a hug. You needed one after a few very emotional days.

„Now, will you tell me what made you feel this way?“ she said while pulling away.

You rubbed your neck nervously while trying to form a normal sentence.

„Well, um, I sometimes have these episodes when I get really into my head and just think little of myself. Also, some events from my past just encourage those episodes to come out. And also when I saw some pictures online from the other day from your place…it just made it worse“ you told her.

„Okay, when another episode of this is about to come out, let me know. And what do you mean the picture from my place?“

„Well I heard that there was some kind of a team hangout at your place and I wasn't invited and my fear of missing out was getting the best of me…it made my episode worse“

„Ooh that hangout out“Alexia chuckled after that „It wasn't a real hang out, it was kinda spontaneous because my sister got engaged and she's friends with most of my teammates so we just celebrated at my place.“

You face palmed yourself. Alexia just laughed at you. You couldn't believe yourself right now.

„ It's alright, hermanita. Don't be so hard on yourself“ Alexia tried to comfort you.

„Thank you, Ale. So much, and I'm sorry for bothering you with my shit..again“

„Don't have to thank me, just score my goals for my team so it makes me look good as captain in front of everyone“ she teased you.

„oh god, I don't know how that came out of my mouth, I'm so sorry“ you apologized.

Alexia just laughed at your, „You don't have to say sorry for everything, it's okay you were emotional and you needed to take it out on someone“

You were thankful that Alexia was this understanding. Younger you wouldn't believe you if you told her that you're crying in front of Alexia Putellas and she's comforting you.

„If you don't mind me asking. What exactly happened in the past that made it so bad?“ she asked with a curious look

„If I start now I won't stop until tomorrow. It's a long story“

„Oh, would you look at that I'm free today. So start from the beginning.“

And so you did. You told her everything, from A to Z. You finally opened up to someone after a long time. And it felt good. It made it easier because Alexia was call, patient, and understanding. After that you were more open with everyone and communicated way more than before.

But if it weren't for Alexia, you'd probably be still lying on that floor and staring at the ceiling.

#woso #barca femeni #fc barcelona femeni #barça femeni #sefutbol fem #espwnt #alexia putellas x reader #alexia putellas imagine #woso x reader #barca femini x reader

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peterparkersnose · 1 year

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hey there, first i would like to thank you for taking my request cause i love your writing so much and it is a special request that I could only read from you, it's a joel miller x fem reader, fluff age gap (ofc not illegal), i find so much comfort in your joel's fics, so, thanks again and wishing you the best. <33

Stargazing

pairing: Joel Miller x fem!reader

word count: 3.7k

warnings: age gap, ellie plays matchmaker (common troupe), alcohol consumption, drunk confessions, mutual pining, anxiety and overthinking, this is a heavy dialouge fic, joel being awkward, just general awkwardness but fluff at the end I promise :)

a/n huge shoutout to the person who asked this! i was silly while editing this and accidentally deleted their ask, and they were kind enough to resubmit it for me. also, just a side note almost in every one of my joel fics there is an age gap, I just don't normally specify it but with this one they really deep dive in to it. I'm sorry but I am a younger person, I don't think I could write from the viewpoint of someone close to my parents age.

summary Ellie tries to set Y/N and Joel up on a date

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read time: 13 mins 34 seconds

It was past closing time in the bar. Maria, Tommy, and Joel sat around the dimly lit bar at the last table. Tommy had assured the bartender that he would close up; Tommy was more than capable to.

“Truth or dare,” the drunk man slurred. All three of them were collectively wasted. Joel sighed, downing another shot. He felt seconds later that he shouldn’t have. “Truth.” Joel spit out. This seemed like the hundredth round of this childish game Maria insisted on playing.

“Who in all of the population here would you want to bang in bed on your last night alive?”

Joel knew the answer immediately. A secret he had been keeping to himself for the few years he has known you. And the secret he had been denying and denying for so long. He knew Tommy was fishing for something. But that last shot began to ring through his system as he spoke. He let out a disappointed sign.

“Y/N.”

Maria snorted, almost falling out of her chair. Tommy looked at Joel with his brows furrowed. “What?” Joel asked in defense. “Joel, ain’t she like 20?”

“22.” he said in defense. There wasn’t much to defend, he was a great much older than you. And Joel was more ashamed than ever. He had known you since you were 19, ever since you helped escort Ellie across the country. It felt gross, it felt wrong. But whenever he thought of you, something just couldn’t resist. Your mannerisms, the way your voice sounded, how you responded to maturely to everything. You were an old soul, one that Joel got along with well. Crossing the platonic line never crossed his mind until he settled down in Jackson.

Joel’s eyes darted to the floor. “Hey, you said anyone!” he argued. Maria could not contain her laughter, almost falling on the floor. “Whatever. You guys suck.” he said, pushing his glass of whiskey that was almost finished off towards Tommy. Joel got up and began to leave. “I shouldn’t have said nothin’.”

“Hey!” Tommy yelled after him, over Maria’s laughing. “Quit it,” he muttered at her, making her laugh even more. “Joel-”

It was too late. He drunkenly made his way down the street and to his house. The light in your bedroom was still on he noticed. Joel wasn’t being a stalker and being weird, but you were his neighbor. What were you doing up so late? Reading something he figured. Or talking with Ellie, the girl really seemed to never shut up. As he was about to turn away, you came to the window. Confused of why Joel was out so late, you opened it. The cool spring breeze entered your room.

Joel seemed to panic, and pretended to have not noticed you at all.

“Miller!” he heard you yell. He stopped in his tracts and turned around. “L/N!” he called back. The repetition of your gesture towards him made you smile.

“What you doing up so late? Don’t you have patrol with me tomorrow morning?”

Joel let out a sigh. His hands rested on his hips. “God, is that tomorrow?” he lied. He totally knew. He was looking forward to it all week. “Yup. 7 sharp. Better get to bed, old man.”

The old man comment definitely hurt his ego. He couldn’t pick up on it, but that was your way of flirting. Teasing almost. But to Joel it just proved to himself that you just wanted to be friends—when you totally wanted the opposite.

“And what are you doing up so late?”

You held up the landline phone in to view. “Ellie,” you sighed. “Get some sleep!” he called, and began to head back to his house. The vision of you in your nightgown was getting too much for him, making him realize he wanted things he never thought he could ever want again. “Goodnight Joel,” you called. He waved, and entered his house.

You flopped down on your bed after you closed your curtains. Holding your pillow over your chest, you squeezed it hard. Your stomach fluttered as you childishly re played the memory of what had just happened. Finally, your bedroom light went out.

“Y/N,” Ellie sang, circling into your kitchen. It was your fault for leaving the back door open on such a nice day. It unfortunately tracked in things such as unwanted Ellie’s. It was midday, your patrol with Joel had ended about an hour earlier.

“Yes?” you sang back, sitting on your couch and looking up from your book. “I have news.”

She came and sat down next to you. “And what is this news? Is it important enough to distract me from my book?” you asked. Ellie sensed your pissed off tone.“Bookmark the page. You’ll never guess what I heard.”

“Ellie, if this is gossip—” you sighed, setting the book down next to you. “It’s not gossip when it involves you,”

You sighed and rolled your eyes, praying Maria didn’t share one of your embarrassing stories you confided in her. Everyone knew Maria had a big mouth. You slowly crept forward “What is it?”

“Joel has a crush on you.”

A quick laugh escaped from your lips. Ellie looked at you confused. “I-I’m telling the truth.” Your laughter continued. “I call fucking bullshit. Where did you hear that?” “Dude, Maria straight up told like everybody in the dining hall today.”

Your face scrunched. "What?"

“Your definitely fucking with me Ellie. Not funny.” you laughed.

“No!” Ellie exclaimed. “She got wasted with Joel and Tommy last night and he confessed that he would ‘bang you out of everyone in this town’ according to Maria.”

So that’s what he was doing out so late last night.

The thought of the older man that escorted you and Ellie across country a few years ago having a crush on you was absurd. Wasn’t it?

“Well, I thought you should know because remember what you said when we passed through that one small town and…”

She was waiting for you to confirm the pushed down memory that lived in your brain rent free.

It was a small midwestern town in the middle of nowhere. You and Ellie sat outside a coffee shop Joel was currently ransacking for supplies. It was a nice day like today, you and Ellie were sitting on the steps keeping watch as Joel went through the kitchen.

“You know, if the world wasn’t shit I would like my own store. Maybe a coffee shop, it sounds nice. Calm, definitely.” Ellie confided in you. “What would you be doing?”

Your foot tapped on the concrete as you thought to yourself. What would you be doing?

“I would be in college by now. For what, I’m not sure. I would have eventually liked to be married but… that’s never gonna happened.”

“Never say never. You always have Joel.”

You scoffed and giggled. But you had to admit, you had gotten to know the older man well. He was bitter, but you saw through the cracks sometimes. He was quite handsome anyways. Something about his rugged appearance and peppery hair just sat right with you. He had a few soft moments with you along the journey, patching you up after a fight or comforting you after a nightmare that Ellie didn't know about. But that was ridiculous. Ellie was talking nonsense.

You laughed out loud to Ellie’s suggestion, just like you had previously. “Don’t deny it. I see the way you look at him Y/N.”

“Your full of shit,” you joked, giving Ellie a slight push on her shoulder.

“Joel would make a nice husband though. Strong, resourceful, handsome. If I had to pick… sure. I’d be Mrs. Miller any day.”

When you said the words you wanted to suck them back in. Too soon, too much, too quickly. Ellie stared at you blankly. Joel exited the building at the perfect time with a few cans of fruit and spoons. Perfect timing. You remembered the awkward silence as you ate on the pineapple bits, but the phrase rung in your head for days.

“Mrs. Miller”

Being brought back into reality, the memory of expressing interest in Joel re lit something in you. You felt your stomach churn.

“Ah… see?” Ellie exclaimed. Your face turned red as you wanted to bury it in your book. “Mrs. Miller!” she yelled, leaving the living room towards the kitchen and out the back door.

“Ellie!” you yelled firmly, following her with your fists clenched. “Where are you going?”

“To find Joel.”

“Why?” you asked panicked, finally catching up to her on the street panting. You were more nervous than ever to hear her response. “To set you and Joel up on a date, duh!”

"Ellie!" you scolded her, looking around to make sure no one heard her. "What?" she whined, breaking away from your eye on her and making a straight line for Joel's house. To your luck, he was in his garden tending to his flowers. He hadn't seen either of you yet.

You let out a quiet shout, a simple “Ah!” as Ellie pranced down the street. You couldn't watch it, you couldn't look. You ran back in to your house and shut the back door behind you. Sliding down the back of the door and sitting on your kitchen floor, you prayed he responded positively. Or that Ellie was just trying to scare you in a ‘I’m telling the teacher but actually just asking to go to the bathroom’ way. And if Ellie actually went through with her plan, you hoped he didn't take this the wrong way. Even though you really didn't think he would. Would he?

It was the next day. You had refused to leave your house in sheer embarrassment. Running in to Joel right now was just a no. You had just gotten out of the shower when you heard the pattering of feet in your downstairs. Praying it was Ellie, you grabbed your knife and held your towel against your chest. "Ellie?"

"Oh, there you are!" she exclaimed. You sighed. "You know, you cant just break in to my house whenever you want." you said, sticking your knife in to your banister.

"It's important!" Ellie exclaimed. "Is it important enough to wait until I can get dressed?"

"He said yes."

You were confused. "Who said yes?"

"Joel!"

Your mouth slightly dropped. "And when did I agree to this?" you asked, venturing in to your bedroom to get dressed. In all honestly, you could have stood and talked to Ellie for a few more minutes comfortably in your towel, but you wanted to hide the wide grin that couldn't seem to leave your face even if you tried.

"When you told me you wouldn't mind being Mrs. Miller," Ellie teased, acting like she was stating the obvious. You poked your head out of your door and looked down your stairs and gave Ellie a sour expression. "I only want you to be happy, that's all!"

"I'm perfectly fine as it is. I didn't need you meddling in my life."

"Well, nobody else was going to do it. We all see how your cooped up here, reading all day. We just want to make sure your okay."

You came out of your bedroom dressed, wrangling out the ends of your wet hair with a towel. You met Ellie at the bottom of the stairs. "And who is we?" you questioned. Ellie sucked her teeth. "You caught us," she chuckled, staring at her converse. "Tommy and Maria and...maybe Dina?"

You sighed audibly, closing your eyes for a moment. "All three of you! Wow." you said somewhat sarcastically.

"Ellie!" you heard a yell from outside. It was her new friend, Dina, who she was almost inseparable with.

"Gotta go." she said, opening your front door and skipping down your steps.

"Ellie- wait!"

She turned around and looked at you, you saw Dina anxiously waiting for her. "When is he coming?"

Ellie shrugged. "Dunno. He said he'd be around."

Your face scrunched in confusion. Be around...?

Before you could ask any follow up questions, the two girls were gone.

———

“This is so damn stupid,” Joel whispered to himself. His doubt was creeping in. The bouquet was hidden behind his back. Fresh picked from his garden, tied off with a bit of twine. His other hand was about to knock on your door. It wasn’t too late… 7 o’clock? You wouldn’t be in bed yet, right? Knock knock.

There was some shuffling from inside the house, and you opened the door. Almost yanked the door open, actually. Joel took a step back due to the commotion. “Joel?” you nervously asked, pretending you weren’t anxiously waiting for the random arrival of your not-so blind date all day. “W-what are you doing here?” you asked, playing dumb.

“If it’s not a good time I can-”

“Oh—no! It’s perfect, d-do you want to come in?” you asked the older man, looking up at him. Joel never seemed as intimidating as he did now. And you’ve seen him torture people before.

You let Joel in to your house as the two of you just stared at each other awkwardly. What did you really have to talk about?

“What are those?” you asked anxiously, referencing down to the flowers in his hands.

“Oh!” he exclaims, kicking himself mentally for not remembering to give them to you. “There for you. Fresh from my garden.”

You recognized the flower as tulips, your favorite. Joel was touched by the sparkle that came to your face once he presented them to you. Accepting them, your hands grazed his a bit. The both of you let go, almost dropping the flowers on the floor. An awkward laugh was exchanged. “Thank you, there beautiful.” you sighed in awe, moving in to the kitchen to get a glass to put them in. “How did you know tulips were my favorite?”

“Wild guess?” Joel responded. Not from Ellie prepping Joel for this date, not at all.

“So what did you have in mind for tonight?” you asked, cutting off the stems of the tulips so they would fit in the glass jar you had filled with water.

“Uh,” Joel mumbled. “I- you know that trail around the fence?”

“Up the mountain?” you asked him, setting the flowers down in the middle of your table. “Yeah. Your up to it?”

“That's a great idea, Joel.”

He let out his breath he was holding, thrilled that you agreed to his idea. Ellie said it was stupid, that walking the trails at night could be creepy. Ellie suggested a nice dinner, but Joel thought that was just so boring. Every date he had ever been on had basically been a nice dinner. He had this planned ever since Ellie even brought up the idea of a possible interest in pursuing Y/N.

Stargazing.

The cool air was refreshing. You kept in rhythm with Joel. He was slower than you, and he was worrying that it would be a turn off for you. But you didn’t mind. You enjoyed taking in the silent night and the hums of nature slowly.

The moon was full and it was a clear night. The trail was overgrown, but still manageable. Joel had trekked up here earlier that day to get ready. As the clearing began to come in to view, Joel felt his anxiety rising. What if you didn’t like it? What if he put too much effort in to it and you thought it was weird? Joel was a quiet kept man, but his thoughts were screaming almost constantly.

“Joel!” you gasped, stopping at the edge of the clearance.

A blanket was laid on the ground with a few decorative pillows. A canteen with two cups sat on the grass along with a book and a lantern. Joel reached down and clicked the lantern open, and it began to emit a soft warm light. It wasn’t like the harsh, recreational ones that would blind you.

“Did you do this? It’s… beautiful.”

Joel’s eyes cast up at you. “It’s nothing much…”

You sat down next to Joel on the blanket he had set out. “Nothing much?” you chuckled, taking in the beautiful view that shown over an abandoned city where Jackson got a lot of their supplies from.

“I think this is the nicest thing a guy has ever done for me.”

“Then you obviously haven't met many nice guys,” Joel said, his voice shaking slightly. He realized how detrimental and self-deprecating that sounded and tried to re-phrase it. “You haven't been on many dates… right?”

And that now sounded predatory. “I-I mean-”

“Actually, this is my first date. Ever.”

Your confidence and comfortability answering him calmed Joel’s nerves. “I don’t mean to pry,” you began. “But did you ever have someone? Like before all this. And if you don’t want to reply that’s okay, I was just wondering but-”

Joel chuckled a bit at your eagerness. “Nah, no worries.” he re assured you, slowly moving his arm around you. Accepting his touch, you moved in to his embrace as the two of you stared up at the stars. “I had a wife- she was my ex-wife. My daughter’s mother. We had her real young, and she just wasn’t ready for the commitment of a family.”

“I’m sorry,” you muttered, watching a blinking star above. “It’s alright. Gave me the best life I could have ever asked for, for thirteen years.”

“And your daughter?”

Joel knew this was bound to come up sooner or later, just not this soon. He didn’t even realize he mentioned Sarah until you asked your follow up question. “She didn’t make it past outbreak day like most people didn’t.” he said bluntly. “But anyways,” he said quickly, saving the awkward response from you. “What about you? Any family?”

“Just Ellie. No relation as you know, but she’s my sister.” Joel nodded. There wasn’t much in this world, and family became what you made it. “What’s that?” you asked, perking your head up from Joel’s chest and pointing over to the grass. “What?” he asked. “The coffee or the book?”

You gasped. “You got coffee?”

He smiled and smirked. “I’ve always wanted to try coffee!” you exclaimed.

Joel looked at you with an odd look. “Your tellin’ me you've never had coffee?”

“No!” you exclaimed. “I used to have this every morning before the outbreak. Withdrawals the first few weeks were definitely difficult.” he explained as he poured you a glass. It was dark and steaming hot. “Coffee is a delicacy, dude. No one in the QZ had this where I was from. It would occasionally get passed out to the soldiers but man, that’s cool.” you said. Joel forgot—you were a post outbreak baby. You wouldn’t have known of the luxury of Starbucks or an espresso machine. “You may not like it, but it’s very unlikely.” he explained. Joel’s love for coffee was strong.

You took the first sip. It burned your tongue and tasted like dirt water. The smell was unmatchable, but the taste was just horrible. You froze, not wanting to disappoint Joel.

Joel couldn't help it, he couldn't keep in his laughter. “Not a fan?” he asked, looking at you behind his cup as he took a sip. “It’s very…interesting?” you said, forcing yourself to take another sip.

“Don’t torture yourself now,” Joel said, extending his hand for the cup. You gladly gave it back to him. “It was a nice thought,” you said dearly, giving him credit for his sweet gesture. “Ellie said the same thing when I made her try some. Must be a…”

He didn’t want to say it. His words came out faster than he could think. “What, a post outbreak baby thing?” you finished his sentence.

That was exactly what Joel was going for. “I mean, I didn’t mean it that way but…”

“It’s okay. Stop worrying Joel, you seem so nervous.” you flirted. “Aren't you?” Joel asked, feeling like that emotional wall was just broken down by your comment.

“Me? Oh, I’ve been a nervous wreck all day. Ellie didn’t give me a time, place, or any context other than that you were coming.”

“Your kiddin’ me. That damn kid,” he sighed, reaching for the book on his side. “Speakin’ of Ellie.” he said, handing you the book.

“Constellations and Stars.” you said in awe.

“For kids,” you added, reading the small line under the title. “This some kind of cruel joke?” you asked Joel, opening the first page. “I promise it not,” he chuckled. “Found it in Ellie’s old storage bin she keeps in my basement. Thought it was useless, well, until now.”

“Do you see any?” you asked Joel. The two of you were laying flat on the blanket. Your head rested on his chest as his arm draped down protectively over you. Your legs were touching, feet and calves were intertwining. “The Big Dipper is always easy to find… if you look.”

You opened the book and flipped around a few pages until you found the page for the Big Dipper. “Like a kite,” you said. “Yeah, kind of like a kite.”

After a few minutes of intense searching in the sky and enjoying your other’s companies, you found it. “Joel, I think I found it.”

“You did. I found it like five minutes ago.” he said shyly. You sighed in defeat. “I guess your just better than me.” you sighed sarcastically. “I guess I am.” Joel hummed.

“You know, back when the world wasn’t like this people would buy each other stars?” Joel asked. “That’s the stupidest thing I have ever heard.” you laughed. “With real money? Like the physical stuff?”

“Yup.” Joel confirmed.

“I would buy you a star if I could.” you said suddenly. Joel suddenly felt a warmth grow inside of him, one he hadn't felt for many years. He had to spit out his thought, he just had to. Didn’t want to waste an opportunity.

“I’d buy the whole sky of stars for you.” he said softly. You looked up at him, a hand resting on his chest. “Would you really?”

“In a heartbeat.”

The rest of the night was filled with laughter. You told Joel old stories about your QZ, he told you old stories about his life. Sharing what seemed like useless future plans now sounded promising with Joel. The two of you never wanted the night to end.

tag list(sorry if this appears twice tumblr is glitching currently) @dani5216 @uwiuwi @alohastyles-x @mandoloriancookie @maddieinnit0 @alexxavicry @scoliobean @avengersfan25 @nyotamalfoy

You noticed the small wrinkles around Joel’s eyes when he smiled. When he smiled at least, you don't think you have ever seen this man so filled with so much joy before. You took in the detail of his smiling face intricately, not wanting to forget the feeling of the moment you were in. This man just said he would buy the whole sky of stars for you. You would do quite literally anything for him, but not like you wouldn’t have done it before. The feelings were very obviously now mutual.

tag list: @dani5216 @uwiuwi @alohastyles-x @mandoloriancookie @maddieinnit0 @alexxavicry @scoliobean @avengersfan25 @nyotamalfoy

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akiraruru · 7 months

Note

Hi I saw you was in need of ideas 😁 and I saw you like ragbros (like me) how about hc (platonic)where they have a little sister (like 18-19year old) who is also adopted like kaeya and is also traumatized before she came to dawn winery and she is more traumatized. She is also super powerful like she is a mage (like in historical manhwa) and has electro vision is also a member of knights of favonis. Sorry I went for too much details 😅

If you don't write platonic hc, how about hurt to comfort fic of diluc/ kaeya/Zhongli where the reader thinks he ib love with someone else (like jean for diluc rosaria for kaeya guzhiong for Zhongli).

Sorry for long ask. Take care 😘

A/n: sadly I'm not very good at platonic stuff, hope u like this oneshot tho!

Included: Kaeya, gn reader, Rosaria

Cw/s: mentions of drinking, angst, possibly ooc, I suck at writing angst

Kaeya had always been passionate about the things he loves. Though, recently everything has been going much worse than before, it's like his path throughout life has become rocky, rather than ups and downs, it has really been down these past few days. He went out drinking more and more, constantly visiting his brother's tavern, chugging down beer down his throat hoping to wash down his foul feeling.

You understand what was Kaeya's feeling and you always have, you gave him time, time to think carefully and to rest his mind and body. Though you never expected it to come to this, you never expected it to become this bad; you felt sorry for him.

You tried to talk to him about it to at least help ease some of his foul feelings yet every time you do he just tells you

"I'm fine"

"I'm okay by myself"

"There's no need"

In such a tired tone, he always pushes you away. Why? Why didn't he want your help? Maybe he just wanted some time... But didn't you already give him a week? All these thoughts and questions run through your head all at the same time it's giving you a headache.

During his time at the tavern, he has encountered Rosaria multiple times in a row and yes, you have witnessed some of those times and nothing bad seems to be happening. After all those encounters with each other, Rosaria made the first move; starting the conversation first.

He knew Rosaria, a close friend of that he hasn't connected to in a long while.

"Hey, you alright?" Rosaria asks.

She looked down at the blue haired knight that had his head laying on the table, beer in hand.

"Hmm... no" Kaeya responds, his words coming out wobbly due to the alcohol.

Chats between Rosaria and Kaeya was pretty constant again, sharing small talk whenever they passed each other, talking during breaks... Of course you took notice and didn't seem to mind, I mean, they're friends after all. And they haven't talked to each other for a while so it's understandable.

It's been weeks and kaeya has started to feel better, more upright and was coming back to his usual smug personality. You were happy, proud even, but you felt a little... what do you call it? Jealous? No, that can't be right. You? Jealous of who?

Maybe it's because it was Rosaria that helped Kaeya more than you did, it's great that she helped but during those times, why did Kaeya only talk to Rosaria about it? Why not you? He always pushes you away but why not to Rosaria either? Is there something special about her? Questions are running through your mind again.

He's been out of the house recently too, often meeting up with Rosaria. At this point, you think he sees her more than you, could it be that he fell out of love? Too many questions and possibilities are in your mind, overthinking every little thing.

You decided to confront him during dinner.

"Kaeya.. is there something wrong?" You ask worryingly.

"Nothing's wrong. Why?" Kaya responds.

"It's just that uhm... You've been.. I don't know, distant?" You furrow your brows slightly as you speak.

"Distant, how?" Kaeya tilts his head.

You take a deep breath thinking about saying it or not.

"Do you not love me anymore?" You finally asked.

"What? Of course I love you, why did you think that?" Kaeya replies.

"You've been hanging out with Rosaria a lot too..." You fidget with your fingers.

"Ahh, I see now" He chuckled.

"Wanna know why?" Kaeya smiles.

You nod in reply, desperate for answers. You watched as he got up towards the calendar and pointed out your anniversary and.. oh it's today. Wait, it's today?

Kaeya goes to a cabinet and pulls out two boxes wrapped delicately, each of different colors with a ribbon wrapped around it like a bow, a letter on top of the two boxes.

"What's this?" You ask, inspecting the box.

"I wanted to make up for all the things you did for me" Kaeya smiles softly.

The letter contained 3 paragraphs about his undying love for you, alongside a kiss mark on the bottom.

"I needed some help so I went to Rosaria" He explains.

You open the boxes, careful not to damage it. The 1st box contains a silver/gold (what color you want) necklace below a tulip, the necklace has your birthstone as it's pendant, shaped into a heart, your name and Kaeya's was faintly sketched onto the back of the pendant.

2nd box contained earrings that matched the necklace, right below a rose.

"Wow... I.." You were left utterly speechless.

Now you were the one feeling guilty, especially since it's your anniversary and you don't have nothing for him

"Don't worry about your gift, you being here is enough" Kaeya brings you into a tight, warm embrace.

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dielitttt · 2 years

Text

Astro observations pt.11

Saturn Aphrodite people usually have this voice that’s in between deep and high especially if it’s in 2h

Nobody talks abt how petty and toxic Taurus moons can be when they’re underdeveloped. These people can be very manipulative as well.

I feel like people with Saturn-Pluto aspects restrict themselves from certain things and procrastinate. I’ve also seen people with negative aspects be prone to anxiety or can fall into a heavy depression easily. These people tend to dig deeper into things that no one else would do when it comes to taboo things.

Chiron-Mars negative aspects or aspects in general can have issues regarding aggression with others cause of the aggression that other people did to them that wounded them.

Pluto 1h or Pluto dominant people can be prone to having rumors about them and getting gossiped to other people, I feel bad for these people cause they can get hated or talked abt for anything they do.

people with Jupiter as their chart ruler have or tend to have these arched eyebrows esp if they have Pluto influence in they chart.

Mercury-Uranus people tend to have scrambled/messy minds and can overthink very easily especially if it’s aspected negatively

Mercury 8h people tend to look at the deeper depths of taboo topics and can study things involved with death, sex, psychology, trauma, etc. These people can be experts at those types of topics.

People with Neptune 11h can have friends that deceive them or betray them easily. These people can use their own friends as an distraction towards their real life issues and problems. I’ve seen also that their friends influence their music taste a lot or have similar taste of music. They could also be drawn to people with Neptune influences. They also may have friends that do drugs or drug related things while as they don’t do drugs themselves.

8h in any planet can make the energy of that planet 1000x more intense

If u have your Aphrodite in 2h you should consider wearing neck jewelry or get piercings in the lower part of your face. You may also have an appealing voice.

Virgo, Capricorn,Scorpio, and Aquarius venuses tend to be picky on who they choose to get with and who they open up to.

If their mars conjuncts yours in synastry, you guys might act similar when it comes to anger, what ur passionate about, and what empowers both of you.

Capricorn Pluto ppl mature and develop earlier cause it’s literally Capricorn in plutooo😭. Oh and I’ve also seen capricorn plutos to be more observant sometimes.

I feel like people with 11h in Jupiter tend to have a lot of friends or meet people that have some type of Jupiter influenced placement

“Three types of ___ sign” no it’s literally decans of their sun signnn

I’ve seen that Scorpio moons usually have some bad luck or go through this negative cycle of the same type of thing depending on the house it’s in for ex: I have a Scorpio moon friend who has it in her 11h and she’s had countless issues when it comes to her friends betraying her and stuff like that. Most of the time they have rlly good intuition.

Neptune aspects in synastry can show the illusions that both partners create on eachother or how magnetic they are towards eachother!!

Sirene in 7h , libra or in a libra degree can mean that you might have secret admirers or people who fantasize about you without even knowing it. People get the wrong ideas and tend to think as these people as love interest or crushes even though these people think as the other person platonically.

I’ve seen so many 11h venuses get their love interests through mutual friends or from friends, they also usually have friends who have crushes on them sometimes ��

Gemini and Leo placements radiate bad bunny’s album “un verano sin ti” (tell me if u disagree or suggest other signs to it)

Ik i havent done one of these in a couple weeks but yeah 😇. Oh and I also haven’t had time or felt like answering my asks unless I’m interested nd feel motivated to do it srry😕.

#spotify #art #astrology #astrology observations #music #asteroid astrology #astrology chart #mf doom #playlist #rap

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vipernoir · 5 months

Text

Snowflake

Little Lukanette fic! Inspired by the ‘snow’ from @lukacouffaineappreciation 7daysofLuka for Christmas!!! 🎅 I had a lot of fun writing this :)

Marinette is feeling stress from her everyday life of being ladybug, and with the stress of the holidays coming up she seeks out some comfort from a certain blue haired boy

Bittersweet Luka x Mari ~ post breakup

Why had she agreed to do it? She had enough to deal with right now. As if being Ladybug and secretly saving the city every other night wasn’t enough, she’d promised to bake Christmas macarons for her schools bake sale. Then she had promised Alya she would take her little sisters so see Santa tomorrow so she could see the last movie showing with Nino. On top of all of that she’d now promised Rose she would design and make an elaborate, angelic dress for the upcoming winter dance. It was a lot.

She was an overly helpful person, she’d always been this way. Saying yes was just a second nature for her, and she wasn’t very good at disappointing people. Her plate was always full, then once she’d eaten away at some of the responsibilities and the plate seemed a little easier to eat, it just kept overflowing.

Christmas was only seven days away and in typical Marinette fashion she hadn’t got a single present for anyone, well other then Adrien but she had his next 30 christmases sorted. They were just friends now, good friends too, Marinette never thought her feelings for Adrien could be platonic but here she was. Maybe she could regift some of the old Adrien gifts? After all she had still to buy a gift for her parents, a gift for Alya, as well as the secret Santa she was doing with her friends! Master Fu! Tikki!?

Marinette sank down on the stone cold bench by the river, shivering a bit as she did so. Paris seemed colder this winter than it had been any other. The cold air was thick, and glittery with frost, even with all the layers of clothing Marinette had on it was still freezing. Her thoughts outweighed the cold though, she was too busy worrying about everything to notice how red her nose and cheeks had become. Her eyes were too busy swirling with anxiety she hadn’t noticed the light frost falling on her eyelashes. Her mind wondered to him, and how much regret she had for the way things ended between them. She missed Luka, and with all her heart she still loved him, but she couldn’t bear the extra responsibility of loving him, it was too dangerous for them both. She was so deep in thought she hadn’t even noticed when someone sat down on the bench next to her.

“Hello Marinette.”

His voice took her by surprise, she jumped back startled, which caused him to cover his mouth, stifling a giggle.

“Luka! Sorry I didn’t even notice you. I was just ….”

“Overthinking?” Luka said smiling, shuffling a little closer to Marinette.

“Was it that obvious?” Marinette looked down, trying to hide her eyes, knowing full well Luka could read them like a book

“Your Marinette, you’re always worrying. You can talk to me about it you know.”

Marinette looked away, she always told Luka her problems, it seemed like a regular thing now to the point she was starting to feel guilty. Every time she went on crazy and rambling Luka just sat there, supportively listening and taking in her each and every word.

“Don’t feel bad about it, you’re my friend Marinette, one of my most dear friends. I’ll always listen to you.”

Marinette signed, knowing Luka genuinely wanted to hear her worries, “ I’m just getting so tired of it all Luka. Every second of my time is accounted for, and I can’t catch a break. There’s things that I have to do and things I’ve promised to do, and they’re all combining into one giant time consuming lump and I feel breathless. I think sitting on this bench is the first moment I’ve had to myself for weeks.”

“You’re a busy girl Marinette, you always seem to be rushing off to do something…important.” Marinette sunk down the bench, feeling guilty remembering all the times she’d made excuses during the dates she and Luka had been on, all of times she had to transform to ladybug and abandon her friends on liberty. After all she was the reason they’d broken up, and had make Luka so sad. “You have to take time for yourself, the holidays are stressful enough time for anyone. You’re an amazing girl Marinette, and you shouldn’t overwork yourself. You need to find the right balance, you can’t press every piano key down at once, it’s impossible, you’ve got to select what notes to play at the right time, and don’t play too fast or your fingers will ache.”

She giggled at his musical euphemism “Thank you Luka. You always cheer me up.”

“Anytime Marinette, I’ll always be here for you, even if it’s just as friends.”

Marinette paused, wondering if she should say what she wanted too, “I…I‘m still really sorry about that Luka, how things ended up. I didn’t want things to be that way, I don’t even think I wanted things to end at all. It was just all too much.”

She looked at his eyes, they were showing nothing but calmness and compassion for her. Luka was good at reading people but he was even better at hiding his own emotions. Marinette knew how much pain Luka hid, and she knew that pain was inflicted by herself. Luka put a reassuring hand on her shoulder, resting it on top of her pink, knitted scarf.

“I understand Marinette, and it’s okay.”

“No Luka it’s not okay! I didn’t want -!” Her voice trailed off and she could feel cold tears prickling in her eyes, the icy wind making it harder for the tears to stay dormant. Her hands instinctively covered her face, and she turned away in embarrassment.

“Marinette you don’t have to hide yourself, you’re beautiful even when you cry.” Luka whispered, slinking his fingers between hers and pulling them from her face before pulling her into a hug. “I’m here for you always, and I’ll put your feelings before my own because I know you need it. You’ve made it perfectly clear that I can’t know the truth, and as much as I want to know I respect that you can’t tell me. The little things that pile up on top though, they’re okay to tell me aren’t they?”

Marinette sniffled, throwing her arms around Luka returning the hug, “I’m always using you for advice and I can give you nothing in return.”

“But you do give me something Marinette, you give me your smile.” Marinette’s blueberry eyes met Luka’s, she had to admit his sweet words did bring a smile to her face, she didn’t consider it payment for all he did for her, but she still couldn’t stop her lips from spreading at his words. “It’s getting cold out, do you want me to walk you home?”

“What about you?”

“I’ll be fine, it’s not a far walk, but I think my dad said he can pick me up in his tour bus”

Marinette nodded and stood from the bench, and Luka followed suit. The glazed over path made Marinette stumble back, she was about to fall to the floor when a warm pair of arms grabbed her from behind, and set her back to her feet. “Thank you Luka, I didn’t realise how slippery it had gotten.”

“No problem Marinette, it’s just a shame it’s only icy and there’s been no snow.”

“Yeah I agree. Even though it’s the coldest winter we’ve had for years there’s still been no snow, Christmas doesn’t feel right without it.”

“Yeah, even when it does snow it doesn’t last long.”

“It’s honestly so pretty when it snows, I love how beautiful the city looks in snowfall I wish it would last forever.”

“That’s a nice wish Marinette, I don’t think it can snow forever but if I could wish for anything this Christmas I’d hope for some snow this winter for you, if it would make you happy.”

“That’s really sweet Luka.” She smiled at him.

“Actually I think I’m being a little selfish with it too…” Marinette cocked her head confused by what he meant. How could Luka ever be selfish? “I’m wishing for snow to see you smile, but mostly I think I’d like to see how radiant you look as the snowflakes float down behind you.”

Marinette just laughed, Luka always seeming so perfect. The two walked slowly through the slippy streets, looking at the twinkling decorations that lit up Paris. After a couple of more close falls from Marinette slipping, Luka took her hand firmly, arching his own arm as a support beam. Marinette blushed but said nothing, stealing glances at Luka when he wasn’t looking.

He looked so handsome in the crisp night, his soft, fluffy hair looked like a galaxy against the night. His eyes so brilliant blue, so full of the Christmas wonder. She hated being a superhero sometimes, she just wanted to be a normal girl who could have a normal boyfriend and do normal couple things.

“You’re overthinking again Mari.” Luka smirked, side eyeing her

“Sorry aha, I was kinda just trailing off from the world again.”

“Talk to me.”

“I just wish I was normal..”

“You’re not normal though, and that’s what’s so special about you. You have a tune that no one else can play. Everything about you is extraordinary. You’re like a beautiful, winter snowflake, each snowflake that falls is different yet every one is individually beautiful , and the more layers that form the more stunning you become.”

“You always know what to say Luka.” Marinettes cheeked turned crimson, now matching with her frozen cheeks and Rudolph nose. “Do…do you really think I’m as beautiful as a snowflake?”

Luka’s eyes darted up to the blackening sky and he smiled softly, turning his gaze to meet Marinette’s. “As beautiful as the ones falling from the sky.”

“What do-“ she started, before Luka span her round to see the first snow fall. Majestic white droplets dancing down to the ground, swirling around the landscape of the city, each droplet of snow that fell complimented the dazzling lights that decorated Paris.

“Looks like you got your wish.” Luka said smiling

“It’s so beautiful!” Marinette exclaimed running out towards the snow covered grass in the park, twirling about in the snow fall. Snow fell on her bluebell hair, and covered her shoulders.

“I got my wish too.” Marinette turned to look at him. He was stood watching her intently with such a loving gaze in his eyes, just pure adoration. Watching her excitement prancing about the snowy night, it was the highlight of his whole year.

“Merry Christmas Luka.” Marinette said pulling him into a snow covered hug.

Luka pulled her in deeper, planting a light kiss of her forehead. “Merry Christmas, Marinette.”

#Luka’schristmas23 #luka couffaine #miraculous ladybug #mlb #tales of ladybug and cat noir #lukacouffaine #lukanette #marinette dupain cheng #marinette x luka #luka x marinette #lukaschristmas23 #Luka’sChristmas23 #Luka’s Christmas 23 #Luka'sChristmas23 #pro lukamari

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sky-neverending · 9 months

Text

Finally doing my heartstopper note taking/ analyzing!! starting with season 2 episode 1, bites under the cut bc it’s long boy. strap in for me squealing a bunch and occasionally getting deep

Episode One Rewatch

Starting with the opening scene, and possibly one of my favorite songs on the soundtrack. The song parallels too, with last season starting with a song that is basically saying how someone wants to be enough for the person I like, and how this one is about how he’d give the world to be with Nick. Maybe that’s just something i’m overthinking but idk.

S1: “I wish I thought that I was pretty so that i could turn you on….”

S2: “Sweeter than the best you ever had…. I’d do anything just to feel with you.”

I love how it’s calm and then immediately jumps into the action with Nick texting Charlie. I also like how it parallels the first scene of episode one, but this time Charlie is happy. Love Tori sipping her drink. All of that scene really shows “Hey, we’re happy for once with what is going on in life,” and I enjoy that. Also Charlie being obsessed with Nick and texting him 24/7 is cute.

Then we get to the classic ‘Hi’ that Nick and Charlie are known for, which is the perfect first interaction for them this season.

Nick pulling Charlie into an empty room and telling him he came out to his mom and Charlie immediately asking how it went, and then basically jumping on Nick when he heard it went well is so good. and then “Want a well done kiss?” Is such a cute line.

And then boom we’re making out. Also Nick pulling away and saying “Kissing at school is a terrible idea” and then going back to kissing is so iconic.

And then theres the whole montage of them being cute and making out, which i could go on and on about but I’ll spare you bc this is getting long already oops.

Nick and Charlie at the door, the hands touching and the sparks, the little waves goodbye, the soft smiles, all of it makes me so eeeeeeee.

The “I have a boyfriend!” scene is so cute, with Tao admitting Nick is “okay” after Issac gives him a look lmao. and then them talking about him coming out, and Tao being concerned as always lmao

also that shop they go to is really aesthetically pleasing idk

And Tao’s rrrrrude is awesome. Also him and Elle fighting over the apple juice is adorable. I love how they interact, the way they play off each other so nicely. Of course, Tao gets all awkward and runs, but he means well. I’m glad we get to see their dynamic more, because it truly is such a good time.

I’m also glad Nick and Imogen are still friends, because Imogen deserves platonic love. And Nick’s friends calling out to him, trying to make amends, shows that they mean well, and I’m glad for it. We just Ignore Harry being a dick. Anyway Imogen immediately running up to him with her little “Nicholas!!” and being so excited about her dog. and her wanting to move to brooklyn makes so much sense. i'm so glad they had a talk and want to be friends.

Nick’s little pause when she asks about his romantic developments is smth that makes me go awww bc its so obvious he *wants* to tell her, but its hard and he can’t, which I understand completely.

I also don’t understand British schools but Nick having to do studying next to Ben makes me gag bc Ben makes me gag. but the top down shot is so cool

also the “QUIET” from Mr. Farouk is what i've been waiting for yesss. He’s so… i just love him.

Nick texting Charlie right after seeing Ben is so sweet of him, and the “I miss you” is adorable. I love him.

Bash does such a good job making me despise Ben. Like actually I hate him. And Nick shutting down Ben and telling him not to talk about Charlie like hello supportive bf!!

Nick being worried about Charlie not wanting to be there is so sweet. and the line “I need you.” ugh my heart. Nick being vulnerable like that is so sweet and something I love. and then Nick not playing well because he’s at odds with the team and it’s causing a rift between him and his performance!! and charlie’s face, you can really tell he’s worried for him.

tara and darcy teasing elle is such a thing my old friends would do, and it’s a very accurate portrayal of teenage romances. (the way tara and darcy hold each other in this scene tho)

“Your hair is cute long. but it would look cute short too” *plays with his hair and then leaves him alone to panic.

okay can we talk about Charlie getting Nick his favorite chocolate bar for their two month anniversary and then getting all embarrassed about it and how cute it is that he remembers such a little thing. and you can tell Nick really appreciates it, the way he thanks him and does the little forehead press. (and then they just start going at it like bro give your lips a break)

Charlie reassuring Nick that he doesn’t need to tell anyone is so important, and i’m glad it’s touched on multiple times this season. because. it’s something that everyone needs to hear.

tori appears!!! her lines are always either so witty or so sweet. also charlie getting so many snacks is so like real of him bc i know what it’s like to want to make a good impression and provide for everyone. and then the cute little scene of all of them interacting and nick and charlie touching with the little sparks, getting more and more confident being themselves around each other. and issac’s little glances at everyone!!

also imogen being invited is so sweet. and the “she’s an ally” line makes me fucking laugh.

i want to talk about how well kit does at playing the nervousness of coming out to someone, even someone you trust. it’s scary, and it’s hard to say. and then charlie telling him that it’s okay. because it is.

more taoelle moments too! the garden scene is so cute. and elles hand hovering on taos face and the sparks and then it being all awkward is so ansjjsjsj.

i also wanna talk about how tara always tries to include issac like it’s incredibly just awww. it’s nice that he’s integrated into the group more because he’s always in his little book shell. like boy you are watching a movie get your head out of the books!!

imogen really tries and i love her for it. like she’s supportive in the best way she can be, even if she doesn’t know what to do. but girl you can do better than ben!!!

i love the girls supporting elle when she’s upset, the three of them have such a good dynamic. and then nick and charlie texting about telling imogen <3 you can tell how happy charlie is, and how much he cares.

love how charlie gives all his friends hugs as they leave bc that’s so in character for him honestly. and then nick turning around and kissing him in front of everyone makes me go eeeee like go Nick go!! slay king!!! i’m so proud of him. and of course Tao being Tao coughing and interrupting the moment lmao

Charlie telling his parents is such a funny scene because of the ‘hanky panky’ bits. tori is great in that scene.

“i can protect him” charlie baby that’s sweet, especially knowing what you went through. but i think you need to realize that not everything is going to go perfect 100% of the time. love the optimism tho!! it does show he really wants everything to be perfect for nick, which i think is so meaningful and deep when you take a look at charlie’s own background.

anyway, that’s all for episode one!! i’m doing these slowly, so episode two should be up in a few days!!

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duck-era-lexi · 1 year

Text

good riddance - gracie abrams | lyric summary

best: knowing you were terrible, not feeling guilt but accepting the karma. very deep actually and also mentions the album title

i know it won’t work: wanting a relationship that you know won’t work out

full machine: codependency and trying to break away from it. hits very close to home

where do we go now: not knowing what to do after a breakup. i love this song, melodically it’s my favorite and the bridge slaps so hard

i should hate you: not hating someone who did you wrong. very relatable

will you cry?: ooh this sounds like minor gracie. it feels like it’s about fake friends and people who just talk to you to get something for themselves. but with the refrain, it’s pretty clear that gracie and the person are close. just really about someone slipping away from you.

amelie: this song has always given me major platonic love. it’s the type of attachment that is not strong enough to be romantic but it’s still love and interest regardless. but also it’s like, i guess i don’t care that much because no one should be that attached to their girl friends. so she is just really casual, repeating the same thing but seriously this affected her a lot.

difficult: so pop omg! but i love wishful thinking so i’m always open to pop gracie. this one’s not about romance but rather just about life. to me it’s about growing up and those years, like 18-21 and just the depression that comes with responsibility. once you can be like, i can do whatever i want, suddenly you don’t want to do any of those things.

this is what the drugs are for: oh i love how soft this song is. sounds like it’s just purely, missing an ex and feeling them in every presence of your life. it feels like feeling too much and the desire to make it all go numb.

fault line: this song with its solo guitar backing track. feels like victimizing herself, and it feels a lot like lying. the verses seem like what she is telling herself and the chorus is how she actually feels. the instrumental adds to it because it’s harsh but sounds like it’s pretending to be soft, like the previous track was.

the blue: talking abt someone who’s very interested in you, in where you don’t really have to do much and they kind of procure the relationship of their own will. but it’s not like you’re not reciprocating. she talks about how important this person is. this song is a mirrorball girl dealing with someone who’s interested in them. genius says “an unexplainable attachment” but with the way that gracie only really talks about what the other person is doing to her, what they are saying, it’s more like she’s overwhelmed but also she knows personally how much she cares about them.

.. she actually cares much more for this girl thatn she should. so many songs on this album are about how much she cares (the blue, i should hate you) and overthinks (i know this won’t work, right now). a big theme of this album is just her feelings towards her ex after they break up (aka, she misses them), but it’s also such a good introspective into the way she thinks. love gracie. xoxo

#gracie abrams #good riddance

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psanders2217 · 5 months

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I would love to see you write something about love. The deepest love that you’ve ever had. 🥰

This is a very good question to ask someone, but I don't have a straightforward answer.

The most love I have felt only has been with platonic friendships.

After a period of time, when I feel like I know them well enough, I just want to tell them "I love you."

It is like a promise in a way, because I feel like I know you so well now, that I don't think you will leave my life.

It also means I will not leave yours, and I would cement myself in place if it means to be your friend.

I do feel very deep love for my friends, especially for my best friend.

"Best friend," seems like a hard title to have, and I only say it to people when I feel like they deserve it.

And she does.

She has been with me as I have grown up, and she is one of the only things I have left from my childhood.

It does feel like we are intertwined in a way.

Like we are double helixes rotating around one another.

Even when we do not talk to each other for a while, either because we are both busy, or just not in the mood, our friendship doesn't burn out.

When we talk to each other, we always talk freely, because we both know the other has no judgement.

No matter the allotment of time in-between when we chat, it never has an impact, we always just talk when we need to talk, or when we want to.

She said to me, recently, "...It’s just nice to call with you, because you’re one of the people I trust the most and like the closest friend to me I’m always myself around you."

It meant so much to me.

It means so much to me.

I have a lot of love for her, and I know she does for me too.

However, I don't know the maximum capacity of what "deep love" is.

It doesn't feel like I love someone so much, my soul repeats their name over and over.

It doesn't feel like I love someone so much, every word they say is like a poem.

It doesn't feel like I love someone so much, their face is sculpted into my mind.

It feels like I still have so much love to give.

I have never loved someone so much that I have been engulfed in it.

That seems like something only a romantic relationship can do, but I haven't had one of those yet.

I use "yet" because I hope I experience it in its entirety.

It sounds lovely.

I think I something that is more personal to me, that I think I may love the most, are just words.

The words people say to me, the meanings of them, the tone, the implication, the repetition of words, all of it.

I love hearing people speak freely, and so passionately, that it makes them so ecstatic.

I like when people trust me enough they say whatever is on their mind, because truly... they should be allowed to.

Words of affirmation are something I love.

There's something so endearing about telling someone blatantly, "I trust you."

"I think you are one of the most amazing people I know."

"You should see the way I see you."

"I always want to talk to you."

All of it is just so beautiful to hear.

It means they think about you, even when you aren't near them.

It means they are so touched by your presence, they store a little bit of it in their mind.

They are like little butterflies, when you see them, you just want to smile at how surprising and wondrous they are.

I know the mind tries to play tricks and overthinks, so these words do help.

It isn't just the affirmations either, it is just talking to people.

I really like texting, because I always reread the conversations.

I like seeing all that they said to me in the moment, just because they felt like it.

The things people do mean a lot to me.

Even if they think it's insignificant, I find it very thoughtful.

Like asking to hold hands, because you are scared of a haunted house.

Like playing the same game together.

Like sharing the deepest thoughts and insecurities with each other and then comforting one another.

It is, really, the little things.

The small stuff.

It does mean a lot to me when people do these kinds of things.

They say stuff to you, because they are saying it to YOU.

They mean it for YOU, and only you.

I love the meanings of words deeply.

I will be sure to post something I made a while ago just about the meanings of words.

As deep as I love words, I don't think it is the deepest love I have ever had.

The wording of this is very particular.

"The deepest love I have ever had" makes it sound like I carry it with me in my pocket, or have it displayed as a prized possession for everyone to see.

I don't have that.

I love a lot of different things, but nothing as deeply with no uncertainty.

I don't know if I love anything so much, I have thought about it every day of my life.

There is a new friend I made that I really love, and have thought about a lot, but not to this extent.

Deep love seems passion driven, and I have been so exhausted by life, I am not passionate for things I love.

Maybe, my answer is just I love people.

It's so generalized that... I also hate people.

It is like a yin yang.

I love them dearly, even with their flaws, but I also hate them as much, even if they have their good sides.

People are so complex, too complex

It is one of the things I don't and will never understand fully.

People have their own interpretations and perspectives on different things shaped by how they grew up.

I found out, that the way I view things and what I say to people about them... is quite different.

It is a surprise.

I have a lot to say on different things, because I want to be sure I get my point across.

I have been told I have great advice on things.

What I don't understand is how people want to bottle that up.

I always confide in my friends, but I don't understand the ones that don't.

The people that keep it to themselves, and let the sword slowly sink in.

It doesn't make sense to me.

It is the total opposite of what I think.

I know there is a reason, and I can think of one.

It is just I don't get it is all.

I think people in general are too complex for me to deeply love, but I think it can be done.

I think there is someone out there that I can love with everything I have.

I just don't know where, or who they are.

Maybe it is someone I already know, and we just don't know each other enough.

The time will pass, and I am sure I will find out.

I am very sure I will.

That doesn't mean someone doesn't love me with everything they have.

My mother might.

My friends might.

My cats might.

I just don't know if they do or not.

I would need that to be blatant.

I would need them to say it to me, because I don't believe I can be the deepest thing someone loves.

It seems impossible to me.

Improbable.

Whatever the answer may be, it is definitely not simple.

It is not simple in the slightest.

It is as complex and confusing as people.

It is as dangerous and vulnerable as a sword.

It is as heartfelt and safe as a hug.

It is as self aware as me.

I hope this answer satisfies you in some way, because it required a lot of thought.

I am sending a piece of my love to you and to whoever reads this.

Thank you for asking such a question.

I enjoyed answering it.

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imkittyjustkitty · 2 years

Text

Kitty's Daily Pride — Day 3

prompt ; the night sky

pairings ; Marlene Mckinnon x Reader

summary ; You don't think your best friend will ever love you the way you love her, but it shows that perhaps you may be quite mistaken.

+ no pronouns used but it's fem!reader because Marls is gay in this

warnings ; nervous gay little reader and kissing

genre ; starts of kinda angsty, but dw it ends with fluff <3

word count ; 1492

A/N ; omg !!! longest one ive written so far !!! im so proud kdjsnfjksnf hopefully there's ppl who love marlene like i do

do not steal, repost, or redistribute my work in any way.

Dark skies and shining stars, a canvas of abyss and beauty. You laid in a field next to Marlene, gazing up at the sparkling night sky.

Occasionally glancing to your right, you could saw Marlene smiling at the sky, a twinkle in her eyes and something behind them that felt like home.

Whenever you were with Marlene, it felt like the world span faster and faster and never seemed to stop. Marlene with her bright eyes and shining blonde hair, her mischievous grin and her wicked laugh. She made you feel alive in all the best ways. she was your everything, but you were afraid that you may not be the same for her.

She was your best friend, but that’s where it seemed to end. You were afraid that all she saw you as was her friend, afraid that she didn’t return the burning feelings you felt for her. It should be easy really, you both had good communication otherwise, but when it came to this, your heart would stop and your throat close up. because after all, what if she was straight?

What if she would never have even a chance of feeling for you the way you felt for her, what if your love for her was hopeless and you’d never be together.

She’d never mentioned anything about her sexuality before. She’d never said she was straight, which gave you a small spark of hope, but she’d also never mentioned anything about being queer, which is what stopped you from just admitting your love for her. Because what if confessing your love for her ruined your friendship? What if she’d grow uncomfortable around you because of it? You were certain you wouldn’t be able to handle that, she meant way too much to you. So you stayed quiet, and continued living as her best friend.

By now you’d trained yourself to see everything as platonic unless explicitly stated otherwise, it was your way of keeping the overthinking at bay. And it seemed to work, it’d been a year or so since you’d first realised just how much you loved Marlene, and you were pretty sure she didn’t notice anything off about how you acted around her (you hoped).

Sometimes you got overwhelmed, you loved Marlene and spending time with her no matter what you were doing, but you always had a feeling buried deep in your heart that begged you for something else. You wanted to be with Marlene, you wanted to be her person, the one she grows old with. Your friends had told you a hundred times over that you and Marlene can spend your lives together without having to be in a romantic relationship, and yeah you know that they’re right, but there’s a want in your heart that no one can deny, and it’s the want for Marlene to be with you the way you want her to be with you.

But life moved on, and you two remained anything but partners.

"Y/n?" the sound Marlene's soft voice reached out to you and pulled you out of your whirlwind of thoughts and memories. You twisted your head to find her looking into your eyes, an unreadable expression covering her face, something that heightened your nerves and quickened your heartbeat in a nervous manner.

"..Yeah?" You answered hesitantly, afraid of what she may be about to say to you, had she figured it out? Was she about to tell you that she no longer felt comfortable around you, because of your attraction to her? Your head was spinning.

"Do you... have you..." Marlene sighed, looking away from you and avoiding eye contact, nervousness seeping out of her every movement, her arms slightly shaking as she lifted herself off the ground, you doing the same thing a moment after.

Marlene tried to let out a nonchalant chuckle, but instead came a laugh that was shaky and had an undeniable air of fear, "This is uh... Really awkward," she attempted to lighten up the tense air that now surrounded you both.

With every passing second, and every nervous laugh your best friend let out, your grew more and more worried, "Marls, is everything okay?".

"No yeah uh- totally," she briefly tried to smile, but upon realising that she wasn't fooling anyone, she let it drop and bit her lip in an attempt to dampen her worried rambling, and perhaps stop her from saying anything dumb.

"What I'm uh.. trying to say is um-" Marlene stopped herself, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath, before continuing with a heavy gaze directed at her lap, "Do you.. Do you like girls?".

Caught off guard, your eyes widened in horror. everything that was happening confirming your previous fears, she found out you liked her and she's going to end your friendship.

You, too scared to answer, and Marlene, too scared to hear your answer, just sat next to each other for what felt like forever. Marlene couldn't sit still but at the same time was afraid that she dared to make a move that her whole world would come crashing down and you'd say the thing she was dreading hearing you say. While you too sat there, overthinking everything.

Were you breathing too loud? Was it annoying her? Should you breath quieter? Maybe if you quietened your breath just a little more, the grassy field would swallow you whole and save you from this whole situation. Or what if you took any longer to answer, would she walk away, would she leave you and never come back? What if your lack of a verbal answer was already enough of an answer for her, what if she knew everything?

But you knew had to say something.

Taking a deep breath, swallowing the lump in your throat, you looked at the girl beside who was still staring at her lap, "Well I... The thing is i-"

"Becauseidoandilikeyoubutyouvenevermentionedlikinggirlssoidontknowand-"

"Wait what?" Your thrown off my Marlene's rapid interruption, and suddenly she's staring right at you, blushing and nervous, something that felt weird for Marlene to be expressing considering her usual cool and lively exterior.

"I like you"

"Oh," Your world stopped spinning and the only two people who seemed to ever exist on the whole planet were you and Marlene. You and the girl who had just... admitted her feelings for you, the same girl who you were so deeply in love with...

"Really?" You were in disbelief, you wanted to just believe it so bad, but a part of you was still drowned in doubt, you had to make sure you didn't mishear her, "You do?"

"Yeah, yeah I do..."

"I like you too"

Marlene's eyes grew wide, her brain had completely stopped working and all she could do was stare at you, mouth falling open and heartbeat halted in her chest.

"Can I..." Marlene took a deep breath, her eyes never leaving yours, "Can I kiss you?"

You were nodding before you could even process what you were doing, your brain still hadn't quite processed just how lucky you were right now, it was still convinced that this was all some fantastical dream.

Marlene laid her hand gently on your left cheek, and leaned in slowly, giving you ample time to change your mind and move away from her, which she was convinced you would do any moment. She searched for any hesitance deep in your starstruck eyes, but all she found was you staring right back at her, love swirling your every being.

Your lips connected and you'd never felt so at home. Her lips were soft and your eyes fluttered closed as you reached for her hand. You could taste the lip balm you'd gifted her a few weeks ago, you could smell her shampoo, a smell you'd grown to love as you'd forever associate it with Marlene and the warmth she brings you.

You felt her breath flutter across your face as the two of you slowly pulled away from each other's lips, and you couldn't help but smile.

You're grinning ear to ear and Marlene was too, you leaned your foreheads against each other and softly gazed at each other.

"You're," you breath softly, "you're beautiful, Marls".

Her grin grows impossibly wider and you found yourself being pulled to the ground by a giggling Marlene. The two of you laid in each others' arms, and it was the safest you'd ever felt in your whole life.

You could never really know what to expect when it came to Marlene, sometimes the world span and span and span and never stopped, and it could grow to be so much, too much. But sometimes, the two of you lay in your own little bubble, an escape from the world outside, in the arms of the girl you loved and who loved you back. Marlene would forever be your home, as you were more than happy to forever be hers.

reblogs are appreciated so much !!

#marlene mckinnon x reader #marlene mckinnon x you #marlene mckinnon x y/n #marlene mckinnon fluff #marlene mckinnon angst #marlene mckinnon imagine #marlene mckinnon fanfic #marlene mckinnon x fem!reader #marlene mckinnon #marauders #marauders era #marauders fanfiction #marauders era fic #🌈 — kitty's pride writings #i'll be a leading lady if i get my shot — my writing

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dearestones · 1 year

Text

Death Note Matchup: Yagami Sayu

Warnings: Fluff.

Anonymous Request: Hi! I’d like to request a yandere death note matchup (either gender). I’m okay with either romantic or platonic, whichever one works best!

In terms of appearance, I’m rather short (at 5’1”), with shoulder length black hair and dark brown eyes that look black, at least according to my peers. I typically like to wear clothes with a more “soft grunge” style. To me, it’s cute, and I really, really like cute things.

Personality-wise…I’m usually very quiet, and I just observe everyone else. Talking casually to other people also isn’t very easy, since I prefer to have a goal to complete when talking to others, such as finding out certain information. I…rather suck at feelings, and it takes awhile for me to figure out exactly what I’m feeling.

I’d say my best traits are that I’m focused, calm, smart (according to everyone), good at planning, and quick to notice details. My worst traits are that I tend to see the worst in others, I give up easily, I overthink the hell out of everything, I’m forgetful, and I’m extremely (emotionally) sensitive. If you raise your voice at me, I will cry.

I’m really interested in true crime, along with any sort of horror book. However, I don’t like horror movies. Jumpscares are a really cheap way to “scare” the viewers, and I hate it.

For a weird fact, I really like borzois. I don’t even own one, but I just find their long snouts to be quite comical. Have you ever heard one bark? You’d expect it to sound deep, but it’s not, for some reason. They’re just so…weird.

Thank you, and have a nice day!

After reading through your description, I believe that you best pair well with Yagami Sayu!

Sayu absolutely loves your style! She’s more on the feminine side of fashion, but grunge has its own charms and she thinks that it suits you quite well! And you also like cute things? Sayu will definitely ask you to go shopping with her whenever you have the chance. Furthermore, she’ll definitely take the time to ask you for opinions on outfits to wear and if certain styles suit her better than others.

And, oh my, you’re shorter than Sayu! She’ll definitely exploit this by wrapping her arms around you whenever you least expect it, sneaking behind you, and maybe even talking about how cute you are compared to her.

It’s okay if you don't often talk to people. As a gregarious person who is adept at all sorts of situations, she’ll definitely do the talking for you. In fact, that’s probably how she met you. Maybe you were observing people in a crowd all by yourself and she just happened to notice you. Almost immediately, she knows that you’re straightforward when seeking conversation, which is something she’ll say reminds her of her older brother and her father.

In addition, she’ll also pick up on the fact that you’re not as attuned to emotions, but fear not! She thinks that it suits your personality. If you happen to catch feelings for her, she’ll notice the different nuances in how you act around her, but won’t say anything. If anything, she’ll wait and see if you figure out your feelings by yourself instead of rushing you. Either way, if you notice and confess, she’ll accept your feelings and praise you for acknowledging your emotions.

Sayu needs someone like you in her life. While she has been raised alongside her esteemed older brother, she knows that she falls short of her parents’ expectations. Even if she tries her hardest, she could never surpass her brother. She’s smart in her own way, but she’s not particularly focused and the future as a concept is somewhat hard for her to grasp. With you at her side, she’ll grow to trust and depend on you because you help keep her in check.

As for your negative traits, Sayu still accepts and loves you for who you are. Seeing the worst in others can be good in some situations, especially when you need to keep your guard up, but she’ll gently guide you into allowing people’s actions to speak for themselves. Furthermore, as long as you try your hardest before giving up, then that’s all that matters. Sometimes, quitting is a good way to establish healthy boundaries or to map out your personal limits.

Overthinking? And forgetfulness? What a combination! Sayu is also not always on top of things, but maybe the both of you could invest in a planner or notes that would help you recall important chores or details.

Lastly, emotional sensitivity is no trouble for Sayu. Of the two of you, she is more emotionally attuned, so if you become overwhelmed, she’ll talk you through it or be a steady presence at your side. She will also never raise her voice at you.

As for your interests, Sayu is also more than well acquainted with some of Japan’s famous crime stories—some of which can be verified by her father! She’s not too interested in true crime, but she’ll gladly bring you to the police department or set up meetings with her father or Matsuda so that you can get the law’s side on many of the infamous crimes that have taken place in Japan.

Sayu didn’t know what borzois were before meeting you, but she thinks they’re quite charming! A little weird to look at, but she can see the appeal after you explain them to her.

As you can see, the both of you complement each other well. Balance is a tricky thing to cultivate and maintain in a relationship, but with how intuitive Sayu is and if you’re willing, you’ll definitely reap the benefits of a healthy friendship and eventually, a romance.

If you want to donate a Ko-Fi, feel freehttps://ko-fi.com/devintrinidad.

DEATH NOTE MASTERLIST

#death note #dn #death note sayu #dn sayu #sayu yagami #dn sayu yagami #death note sayu yagami #character matchup #death note matchup #dn matchup #dearestones #devintrinidad

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oceanblueeyesoul · 2 years

Note

Hi! Call me Aerith, may I request a romantic and platonic Enola Holmes matchup?

𝗦𝗘𝗫𝗨𝗔𝗟𝗜𝗧𝗬/𝗣𝗥𝗢𝗡𝗢𝗨𝗡𝗦: Biromantic Pansexual and Genderfluid; He/They (though I'm biologically woman irl)

𝗔𝗣𝗣𝗘𝗔𝗥𝗔𝗡𝗖𝗘: 21 years old, 5'1.5", Southeast Asian. Chubby with messy shoulder length brunette hair, chocolate brown eyes, and a small beauty mark on my forehead. My style is in between soft grunge and soft punk (not a big fan of dress except for occasions) but loves to wear Korean makeup style

𝗣𝗘𝗥𝗦𝗢𝗡𝗔𝗟𝗜𝗧𝗬: Libra-Scorpio cusp, Muggleborn Ravenclaw with a patronous spirit of Hummingbird, an INFJ, my enneagram is 4w5 and my moral alignment is Neutral Good. I may have a slight introverted tendencies and awkward/anxious nature, I describe myself as fiery, swears like a sailor, confident, jokester, and, passionate. Religious, super talkative, sometimes hyper (because of excitement), giggly (I always laugh/snort for stupid reasons), nerdy, also sweet and nice though I can be aloof, intimidating, and scary when I get so angry. I tend to become really fiesty, stands boldly on what I believe (claiming myself as a realist though some of my views doesn't makes sense), unhinged to be myself, stubborn, young-at-heart, clumsy unfortunate and inattentive. Would don't give af towards the people that I hate, sarcasam and savagery is my main language. But on the other side, I overthink a lot and cry over small things many times which I sound like a drama queen, and a perfectionist that provokes even more, yet recognizes a soft spot for dumb jokes, cheesy pickup lines and prefer people with a good sense of humour who see myself as equal. Chill in academics, but very competitive that manages to the top even for my dreams---I'm very dedicated on what I want for my life, and I display modesty and gracefulness towards some people that deserves respect. One notable feature about her is her multi-potentiality due to being naturally gifted in artistic fields (this includes singing).

𝗟𝗜𝗞𝗘𝗦/𝗜𝗡𝗧𝗘𝗥𝗘𝗦𝗧𝗦: Arts, choir, poetry, karaoke, literature, history, makeup, beauty pageants, fun/deep/dumb conversations, expanding my knowledge in Christianity, documentaries (about saints), reading interesting stuffs, talking about social issues, and creative writing, chilling both indoors and outdoors

𝗗𝗜𝗦𝗟𝗜𝗞𝗘𝗦: Stereotyping, obligation (without a logical reason), getting excluded, being interrupted, invalidating my feelings, judgemental people, telenovelas, hypocrites, dirty bathrooms, blackout, lightning, firecrackers, toads, snakes, cockroaches, toxic masculinity, misogyny, fake woke individuals, colonial mentality, and absurdly girly things

𝗛𝗢𝗕𝗕𝗜𝗘𝗦: Drawing, singing, dancing when nobody's around (I'm very bad at it), sharing nerdy or opinionated thoughts, walking like a model (if I ever feel so confident), sleeping, listening to music (from rock to kpop), chatting or browsing on social media, watching videos on YouTube, making terrible jokes/puns, watching cartoons, writing, cooking, reading interesting things, and conceptualizing my artworks. I also used to study Italian language a bit

(P.S. I almost forgot to mention I want platonic and romantic matchup 😅)

Thank Aerith, for the platonic and romantic ships and you sounded like an awesome person!

Your platonic Enola Holmes ship is... LORD TEWKESBURY!

He would like your intelligence about things that he didn't know about until now and he would like to teach you about flowers.

He would tease you playfully about you liking beauty pageants while also knowing that you don't like girly things.

He would be so supportive for you about proving someone else wrong by your feistiness.

ISFP and INFJ buddies!

Ravenclaw and Ravenclaw artistic friends!

Your romantic Enola Holmes matchup is...

ENOLA HOLMES!

Finally, she meets someone who can challenge her intelligence! So what if you have slightly introverted tendencies she will be talking to people for you.

Enola will research for you about the things you're passionate about to make you happy and besides she likes to learn new things.

You brings out the silly and non-serious side to Enola that no one has before you two will be singing and dancing till you heart contains.

Enola Holmes is the feminist icon so of course she will be supporting you through talking about social issues and justice.

ENFP x INFJ social justice seeking power couple!

Ravenclaw x Gryffindor intellectual sweethearts!

#enola holmes matchups #lord twekesbury platonic matchup #enola holmes romantic matchup #matchup

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hyunjinspark · 2 years

Note

hi 👋🏻 my name is Ciel ! ☁️

im unsure i will be able to keep this ask short, i have so much to tell..

nb after finishing: indeed, i couldn't! im sorry! :<

let's start somewhere; i really, really like your blog, your writing. it is incredible. i had stumbled upon you as 'only fool' was being uploaded; im a stubborn and persistent reader, so i kept myself from looking through before it was last updated, as i am also quite impatient if i get absorbed.

your writing is the purest i've ever read. this is coming from a person who has trouble with emotions and feelings; i am demi-romantic and asexual- but the way you use words are enchanting to me. i feel everything, from warm to anxious, joy to hatred.

for the past three days, i've let myself be completely entranced by 'star lost with you'. as i said, im impatient, and i forced myself to wait for some chapters, at least, to come out beforehand. and i don't think i can fall more in love with the warm feeling your story makes me feel. i was so focused on every word from every chapter, i even found myself rereading most parts. this giddy feeling while reading, the pure love, either platonic or romantic, described in yn, hyunjin and yongbok. i am so curious of how everything is played in the other characters' eyes, how does hyunjin feel in those calm and sweet moments with yn, im especially wondering about his thoughts during the train ride, or when they met yeonjun, this closeness that seemed to not bother him at all; but was he nervous as well? is he an overthinker about his feelings? will his adaptation of Caress be detailed by an outer inspiration?

but as well as yongbok's thoughts as well. despite the time spent, you can still feel him being wary of the situation behind those smiles, his pure white love towards yn is usually so untouched, is he scared of hyunjin tainting it? in either case he feels a platonic or romantic attraction, does he, too, overthink over his feelings? over his close and private relationship to yn? he is pictured as a carefree and sunshine person by everyone, but doubts and worry are natural occurences in a life.

the sheer kindness and empathy from yn, too. in her place, i would have left hana behind a long time ago, she is not bold and upfront, she is forceful and childish. it's a bit crazy how no ones shush her in some very rude situations she puts up herself and others. yn's overthinking feels way too real, her anxiety seeps into him, my stomach churning at some scene, like in the cabin and hana's horrid behavior towards her best friend's feelings. i have been constantly scarred by being left out and behind by who i called friends, since i was nine. the clear fear of being abandoned yn felt, when she found everyone gathered in the morning without her, or to be misunderstood and left by hyunjin, everything felt so real, as if i was experiencing it myself, again.

this is how i perceive feelings with the way you write. it makes me wonder so much, i have rarely felt so while reading. thank you for giving us so much of you in each of your work. you deserve to be read and congratulated over it.

i apologize, it may sound weird and uncomfortable to some extent to talk like this. but im trying my hardest to share my thoughts, i think you deserve to know that your work has a deep impact on someone.

i'll be waiting for future updates, and i'll be sure to give my honest review at the end. if i work up more courage, i'll try to send other asks after chapters. please, keep writing. :)

- Ciel ☁️

hi ciel. thank you so much for sending such a thoughtful and heartfelt message 🥺

i understand what you mean, sometimes it can be really hard to start an unfinished story,, thank you so much for liking my blog and my writing 💖

the purest ? oh my gosh, your words will make me cry 😭 im happy that i can convey those emotions to you well. enchanting is a beautiful word and im blessed you associate it with my words.

im so happy you decided to start star lost with you, despite it being an ongoing story, and that you reread parts. your questions are so interesting and i hope many of them will get answered soon, as we explore diff povs, or perspectives. hyun definitely does think a lot about those interactions, and gives meaning to every moment. the closeness with yeonjun didn’t bother him indeed, and its interesting how different he feels regarding each person in yn’s life. his adaptation of Caress will also be referred to soon, and mentioned again.

as for yongbok’s thoughts, you’ll find in the next part how he feels, and if he truly thinks that the adoration he holds for yn may be tainted by hyunjin’s presence.

i m glad you can relate to yn and that her thoughts and experiences feel realistic and not made up. im sorry that it reminds you of such moments in your own life :( nobody deserves to feel this way.

don’t apologize for ever sharing your thoughts, it was such an honest review and made me very happy that you perceive my writing in such a way. you’re so sweet for this and trust that i look forward to know your thoughts on the future parts, if you feel comfortable sharing them. 🥺🥺♥️♥️☁️☁️

#star lost with you

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greyeddaisychains · 2 years

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This is basically just me screaming into the void and maybe I'll just start showing my therapist what exactly I write and post on here and what I pin on pinterest because in a way it's easier than trying to put things into words when there are just concepts and it's so much easier to use the words of someone else. But anyways I'm rambling this isn't even what I wanted to write about in the beginning because there are thoughts that need to be sorted and things to get of my chest that I'm not quite ready or in the headspace to talk about.

The friend who asked me something that got a ball rolling asked me another question after I told her that I don't really want to think about whether or not a person is interested in me. Its like there were so many messy situations when I knew someone was interested because my bpd brain was like "ah yes they are interested so we have to be too" in combination with friends shipping it and being all in and telling me to go for it even tho it was just fake emotions because I obsessed over it.

And she asked whether or not I actually know and realise when I fall for someone for real and its a complicated answer of yes and no. Like yes after a while after the overthinking stopped and a few weeks passed I know but also I don't because in a way I'm still not completely sure what romantic and platonic feelings are. They are so close together for me due to basically trauma induced asexuality. I kiss my friends and I kiss partners, I cuddle with both, so like there is nearly no difference for me in the things I "want" from both kinds of love. I want to spent the rest of my life with my best friend because I love her so fucking much. And there's the fact love scares me because every close relationship can only exist due to massive amounts of trust and vulnerability and I have trust issues and a fear of letting myself fall because I still don't actually believe that there will be anyone to catch me. Which ends in me suppressing any emotion that may lead to me falling for someone.

Or there may be the exact opposite and someone behaves in a way that makes something in me instantly crush on them. And the problem is that it's way too easy because someone that isn't already a good friend showing my touchstarved ass affection makes me fall a bit the second a touch lingers. Which leads me to the first point of overthinking, overthinking and overthinking till it all seems like a farce.

I may crave the deep connection and a souldeep love but I am unable to handle it.

This one quote by Ocean Vuong fits perfectly; "Sometimes being offered tenderness feels like the very proof that you've been ruined."

#personal #personal rant #thoughts on love

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itadorisgf · 3 years

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Hello! I dont know if your event is already full or not because your last update was a few hours ago. If it still has a slot for one more, may i please request megumi touching you (not in a sexual way, just like platonically / romantically) to get your attention? I think this was from the first promt. Thankyou!

— fushiguro megumi + touching you to get your attention

⤷ anonymous asked: Hello! I don't know if your event is already full or not because your last update was a few hours ago. If it still has a slot for one more, may i please request megumi touching you (not in a sexual way, just like platonically / romantically) to get your attention? I think this was from the first prompt. Thank you!

note: this turned into a whole fic…the part where gumi touches you to grab your attention is rather brief, but i still hope u like this!!

ft. fushiguro megumi

warning: gn!reader, second-year!reader, fluff, blood, pre-relationship so pining!reader

⤷ the flower shop

You are going to kill Gojo-Sensei.

Your mouth flattens into a tight line, brows pinching together to form a deep crease, as your grip on your phone tightens. The bright image pulled up on the screen of your handheld device is the cause for your ire. It’s one of a series of images that Gojo-Sensei has sent to your group chat with your fellow Second-Years of Fushiguro Megumi looking worse for wear. Though the images are all rather blurry, you can clearly make out the injured state Fushiguro’s in: his uniform is dirtied and his face is scraped up with what looks like fresh blood streaming down from his hairline. You’re sure Maki will get a kick of Fushiguro getting his ass handed to him, but you’re more concerned about Fushiguro’s current physical state.

He must not be too severely injured if Gojo-Sensei is texting you Second-Years pictures of Fushiguro all beaten up. This should help alleviate your stress, but it doesn’t. Your gut still churns uncomfortably at the thought, at the image, of Fushiguro injured, seriously or not.

You exit the images to view the chat. You roll your eyes at Gojo’s text message, which accompanies the many pictures he sent of Fushiguro.

Gojo-Sensei: Look who got beat up!!!

As a teacher, he really shouldn’t sound so thrilled at the prospect of his student getting injured, but then again, Gojo-Sensei’s not exactly a respectable teacher in your eyes. Your eyes scan the rest of the messages from your classmates. Given the time difference, you would guess that Yūta is most likely busy with his day right now all the way on the other side of the world, hence his lack of response. You make a mental note to shoot him a text soon and check in on him. You know Yūta well enough to know that he’s probably running himself ragged. Toge’s in the middle of a mission right now, which only leaves Panda and Maki available to reply to Gojo-Sensei’s message.

You were correct in your assumption that Maki would be pleased with the pictures, her text asking if Gojo-Sensei managed to get a video of Fushiguro getting beat up. Panda echoes that sentiment by responding with arrows pointing upward underneath Maki’s text. Your thumbs hover over your keyboard, contemplating if you should reply or ignore the chat.

“Is Fushiguro alright?” You hit send before you can overthink and toss your phone onto your nightstand. When your phone loudly pings, you scramble in the dark to grab it, unlocking your phone to view the response. You flip onto your stomach, burying your face into your pillow with a loud muffled groan.

Maki: Aw, are you worried about your lover boy?

You should’ve never confided in Maki about your small crush on Fushiguro. Well, it’s not like you were the one to bring it up. When Maki had casually slipped into your conversation that it’s gross how much you resemble a lovesick puppy around Fushiguro, you were taken aback and attempted to refute her observation. However, your best friend knows you like the back of her hand and bluntly stated that it’s obvious you’re pining for Fushiguro. You winced when she told you that. Was it really that obvious? The pointed look she gave you in return confirmed that yes, it was that obvious. Luckily for you, Fushiguro is one of the densest people you know when it comes to the realm of romance so to your knowledge, he’s still completely clueless to your feelings.

Your classmates all know of your feelings for the First-Year, but they don’t meddle in your love life. The most they do is tease you or give you knowing looks, which you brush off as quickly as you can while you try to rein in the resulting heat that floods your face. No, it’s not your classmates you have to worry about. It’s your idiot of a Sensei who has nothing better to do with his life than to concern himself with his students’ love lives despite being the strongest Sorcerer there is. If you could, you’d sock him right in the gut for the number of times he’s attempted to push you and Fushiguro together. The awkwardness that came from those experiences still makes you want to crawl into a hole whenever you think about it for too long.

The vibration of your phone in your hand draws you out of your thoughts. You grimace when you read the text message.

Gojo-Sensei: Don’t worry!!!! Your lover boy is alright, but I bet he’d feel better if you checked in on him. ;)

You can clearly envision Gojo-Sensei’s glee on the other end of the phone. The man feeds off of embarrassing his students. You opt not to respond anymore, clicking out of the application and turning off your phone. Gently placing your phone onto your night stand, you tug your comforter up to your chin and close your eyes for the night.

Perhaps, you will check in on Fushiguro later.

“Oi, quit zoning out.”

You groan in pain when Maki sharply jabs you in the stomach with the end of her wooden bo staff. She gives you an unamused look when you toss a harsh glare her way.

“I’m not zoning out,” you mutter, readjusting your grip on your respective staff to continue the light sparring session you and Maki are engaging in. She doesn’t bother to restrain herself from rolling her eyes as she counters your strike, easily knocking your staff out of your hands. You’re quick in your attempt to grab your staff again, but Maki cleanly sweeps your legs out from under you, sending you crashing face first in the dirt.

“Right, and Mai and I have a wonderful relationship,” She sarcastically says, digging one end of her bo staff into the ground and leaning her weight against it. “He’s fine, you know? You shouldn’t worry so much about him. You should be more worried about me kicking your ass.”

You loudly whine when Maki brings him up and flop onto your back to gaze up at her. “Who said I’m worried about Fushiguro?” You childishly huff, propping yourself up and leaning back onto your forearms. Your expression scrunches up in distaste as dirt uncomfortably sticks to your sweaty skin.

Though you’re attempting to deny it, of course, you’re worried about Fushiguro. Although Maki already knows how you feel about the First-Year, you’d rather skirt around the subject and pretend that you’re much better at hiding your emotions than you actually are.

“Who said anything about Fushiguro?” Maki innocently cocks a brow, but smirks to herself as you murmur a low fuck underneath your breath. Damn, you walked right into that one.

“I hate you, you know that?” You deadpan, staring straight into Maki’s eyes.

“Yeah, I hate you too.”

The corner of your lips twitch up into a hint of grin as Maki offers you a hand, pulling you up onto your feet.

You wrap up your training session not long after that since Maki claimed that she didn’t see the point in continuing to spar if you’re not going to give it your all. “There’s no fun in beating someone over and over again,” she sighed as you were knocked to the ground for what felt like the hundredth time that day. You gave her a half-hearted glare in response to that comment.

Freshly showered, you’re now lounging on one of the benches placed near the dorms, occupying your time by scrolling through social media. You try to convince yourself that you’re hanging around outside because you want to enjoy how nice the day is, but you, and everyone else, know better. Fushiguro, and presumably Gojo-Sensei, should be coming back from their mission soon. Although you know that Fushiguro wasn’t seriously injured, you also know that the tight coil of worry in your stomach won’t go away until you see it with your own eyes that Fushiguro is, indeed, okay.

“Senpai?” The sudden noise startles you and you scramble to sit up straight. You unconsciously smooth out the creases in your clothing as you meet the eyes of the person who called you.

“Fushiguro,” you breathe out, relief heavily laced in your voice. You push yourself off the bench to stand on your feet and quickly scan his form for injuries, brows furrowing when you see the numerous bandages littering his face. It’s only when Fushiguro shifts underneath your intense gaze that you realize how long you must have spent staring at his face. Great, now he’s going to think you’re some sort of creep, you think to yourself. “H-how are you feeling?”

You internally wince at your slight fumbling over your words. You’re just glad nobody else is around to witness this encounter, Gojo-Sensei and Maki would find way too much delight in your distress.

Fushiguro brings a hand up to rub at the back of his neck. A hint of redness seeps out from underneath his bandages, staining his cheeks, as he reflects on how badly his simple retrieval mission turned out. He’ll leave it up to Gojo-Sensei to explain to your class about Itadori and how he’s Sukuna’s new vessel. He wonders how you all will take it.

“I’m fine, Senpai,” he replies, grimacing as the pads of his fingertips run along the gauzy material of the bandage firmly wrapped around his head. Heat floods his cheeks when he looks up to see the genuine concern in your expression. Fushiguro’s thankful that the bandage on his cheek manages to partially conceal the flush of his skin. “Really.” He adds on for extra emphasis. You still look unconvinced, but you nod along as if you actually believe Fushiguro’s words.

“Well, that’s a relief. I was worried about you when Gojo-Sensei sent us those pictures of you all bloodied up,” you say with a sheepish grin.

“You were worried about me?” Fushiguro questions with a slight raise of his brow.

Oh fuck. For a moment, you say nothing: frozen completely still as your brain attempts to process the fact that you just told Fushiguro, to his face, that you were concerned about his well-being. Maybe, he’d interpret your words in a friendly way. Perhaps, he would think that you were just being a good upperclassman and looking out for him. If you were lucky, Fushiguro would think nothing of your comment.

“Senpai?” A sudden weight on your shoulder pulls you out of your internal panicking. Fushiguro’s hand lightly rests on your shoulder as a concerned expression lies on his face. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine, Fushiguro,” you assure him. There’s still a slight frown in place, crinkling the bandage stuck on the corner of Fushiguro’s mouth. You inhale deeply in order to muster up as much courage as you can for what you’re going to do next. “I promise.” Your voice softens as you gently place your palm over the back of Fushiguro’s hand.

Fushiguro stills underneath your touch and you have to restrain yourself from giggling at the intense redness that floods his cheeks. His flush deepens even more when you find yourself unable to completely suppress your amusement, your quiet laughter filling the air. He’s quick to draw his hand off of your shoulder to rest by his side.

“Good. I’m going to go rest in my dorm now. See you later, Senpai.” His words nearly slur together with how fast Fushiguro spits them out. You don’t even have the opportunity to say goodbye in return as Fushiguro swiftly turns around and rushes inside of the dorm building.

He’s awfully cute when he’s flustered, you muse. A silly grin crosses your face unconsciously as you attempt to sear the image of Fushiguro blushing into your memory. Maybe, your feelings aren’t as unrequited as you think.

“Ah, young love.”

You jolt, spinning around to face the owner of the voice. Your grin falls as soon as you make eye contact with the individual.

“Gojo-Sensei,” you deadpan. Your brow twitches in annoyance at his elated expression. Knowing him, he probably eavesdropped on your entire conversation with Fushiguro. “If you took any pictures or videos, I am going to kill you.”

His grin only widens at that.

“Too late.”

#jujutsu kaisen x reader #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen fluff #jjk fluff #jujutsu kaisen scenarios #jjk scenarios #fushiguro x reader #fushiguro megumi x reader #megumi x reader #fushiguro fluff #megumi fluff #flower.shop #flower.shop: violets.#celeste.scribs #celeste.adores #adoring.fushiguro

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wandanatfluff · 3 years

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The Life That's Left To Live - Part I - Take Me Home

Series (This part:) Fluff

Prologue | Part I

Summary series: You’re a little girl when the avengers find you. Natasha becomes kind of a mother to you. Then about 7 years later when you’re 21 you go live with the avengers again for a while, because they need your help with something. The avengers are like a family to you. Wanda is still new to the avengers and doesn’t know what happened in your past. You sleep in Wanda’s room in an extra bed and the two of you become friends. You are a quite happy, social and spontaneous girl, but there’s a sad/depressed side to you that sometimes comes to the surface.

Summary of this part: Natasha calls you with information about your brother and you go to the Avengers compound, where you meet Wanda.

Pairing: Natasha (mother figure/mentor) x Female Reader Wanda (platonic (for now at least)) x Female Reader

Warnings for this part: -

Word count: 2.2 K

A/n: To be honest I think it turned out okay, I spent quite a while on this. Title: Take Me Home, by Chord Overstreet. The fic isn’t directly based or related to the song. The title just fits ;-). The series title is a line from Love Is War, by RUNAGROUND. I hope you enjoy it!

Source: Pinterest

Absentmindedly you listen to the person in front of you. Some annoying colleague that is going on and on about a something that you would have done wrong. They had been going on for almost ten minutes and by now, you had stopped listening. Your mind drifted off to happy memories. It was something you did quite often. By reliving old memories once in a while, they would become recent in your mind again, which made it easier to go back to them, when you were feeling low. You thought about your younger self on the back of your brother’s bike, your small arms wrapped around his waist, your head pressed against his back. It had been his birthday and he had gotten a new bike. You didn’t like bikes, but when he asked for you to ride along the neighborhood with him, you gave in. Your childhood was filled with a lot of fear, but your brother always seemed to take that away. He was in almost all of your joyful memories. He was your safe place.

Your phone chimed, snapping you back into reality. You excused yourself from the ‘conversation’ and left the room. Once you close the door, you answer your phone.

“I owe you Nat! You saved me!”

“Hey Y/n… What did I save you from?”

“Some colleague, who was being incredibly tedious.”

“Need me to kill anyone?”

“Uhm… No. But what are you calling about?”

“We got new information about your brother and we need your help with it.” You fell silent for a moment at the mention of your brother.

“Oh... What is it?”

“I’m sorry Y/n, I can’t tell you over the phone. You’ll have to come to the compound.”

“Okay… I can do that. I’ll leave tomorrow morning and be there around dinner time?”

“Perfect. See you then.”

After cooking yourself some dinner you went to your room to pack. You dug deep in your closet to find your weekend bag. It had been a while since your last trip. You don’t travel that much. To be honest, you don’t travel at all. Your daily routine leaves just enough time for your daily work-out, some me-time and occasionally a movie. Staying busy avoids overthinking stuff, or well… overthinking more specific things. It took you a while to build up a routine. Have breakfast, work out, drive to the office, do your work, pretend to listen to the gossip from your fellow colleagues during the lunch break. Not that anything about your life is very challenging, but it’s just enough to keep you satisfied and to survive. Every now and then when you have a day off, you go shopping with a friend.

You are quite the cheerful girl. You are spontaneous and kind, people get along with you. You have a few friends, but none really close. The only close friends or family you have, are Nat, Steve, Tony, Clint, Thor and Bruce and you haven’t seen them in the while.

You had to empty your entire closet, but you finally found your white weekend bag with the subtle, pastel flowers pattern. You smile at it. It had been a gift from Nat. You used to have a boring and old grey bag, so she had bought you a new one. After you throw the bag on your bed, you start to fill it with clothes. You had no idea how long you’d be gone, so you packed for five days. Once your bag was fully stuffed you zipped it closed and threw it over your shoulder, making you way back to the living room.

You throw your bag next to the counter and are just about to get yourself some coffee, when the bel rings. You grab your phone and see Natasha standing in front of your door through the camera. Natasha had bought you a doorbell with a camera, to be sure you were as safe as possible when she wasn’t there. Aware of the camera she smiled at you through it. You chuckle at the sight and walk to the door to open it for her. Moments like this remind you of how amazing Natasha is. She had the key to you appartement, but chose not to use it, so she wouldn’t unnecessarily scare you.

“Surpriseee, figured I’d pick you up myself!”

“Hey Nat, come in!”

You take her jacket and hang it on the coat rack.

“How are you doing?”

“Good, actually. Can I get you something to drink?”

“Just coffee, please.”

“Got it.”

You go back to the counter and get yourself and Nat some coffee. You open the fridge and get two pieces of the pie that is left from your graduation ceremony. With two slices of cake and the coffee you go to the living room. You hand Natasha, who has sat down on the couch, her coffee and put the cake on the side table.

“Oehh, is there something to celebrate?”

“Yup… I got a job!”

“Y/n! I am so proud of you. I knew you could do it!” Tears begin to well in Natasha’s eyes and she puts down her coffee to give you a hug. You bury you head in her neck and let out a small sniff. She knew what it meant for you to get your first real job. The small party one of your friends threw had been basic. Everyone had congratulated you, but Natasha was the only one who truly took her time to express her happiness. She was the only one who knew what it meant to you. It had been a long way, a long, long way, but you made it! You did it!

She had been there with Steve when you graduated. She had driven six hours, just because she knew what it would mean to you, having her there. It had been a surprise, she hadn’t told you she was coming, so when you saw her from the stage you had broken down in tears.

You catch up a bit, after which you both go to bed. You turn the sofa into a bed for Natasha so she can sleep on it, but before you rest your eyes, Natasha helps you fill another suitcase with clothing. She laughed at the sight of your single bag and suggested you’d pack another suitcase.

*** After six hours of sleep Natasha wakes you up. You take the time to get out of your bed, you take a shower and put on some make-up. In a pair of light skinny jeans and a lively orange tank top, that complemented you tan, you sit down at the kitchen island. Natasha had made you breakfast and after you finished it, you got in the car. The ride would take about six hours, so before hitting the road, you stopped at the supermarket to get some snacks and drinks for on the way. After three hours you had a pit-stop at the MacDonald’s to get some lunch. You ordered the food via the McDrive and ate it in the car on the parking lot. When the food was finished you hit the road again. You had switched places, meaning Natasha would finish the drive to the compound. Natasha was still sipping from her milkshake in one hand, her other hand on the wheel. You leaned against the door with you head on your arm. You closed your eyes, feeling the warmth of the sun on your skin as you dozed off.

A bump in the road woke you up.

You shot up straight. When you realized there was no danger, you leaned back into you chair, resting you head against the headrest.

“Slept well, princess?” Nat teasingly said.

“Nat!” You stumped her shoulder with your elbow. She grinned, but kept her eyes on the road. A comfortable silence fell and you closed your eyes again, not intending to sleep again though.

“No, but for real. How have you been sleeping?” You knew what she meant. She wanted to know if you still had nightmares. They would still terrorize your nights sometimes. You would wake up sweating and shaking. Wide awake you would sit in the middle of your bed at midnight, tears running down your cheeks.

“Uhm, okay, I guess. Some nights better than others.” She turned her head to look at you, giving you a sweet smile. She laid her hand on your leg, her palm up. You put your hand in hers, giving it a slight squeeze.

“Now we’re talking about sleeping, a few rooms are under renovations, so the rooms are full. You can sleep in Wanda’s room. She has an extra bed on her room.”

“Is she okay with that?”

“I think so.”

“You didn’t ask her!?”

“No, but I’m sure it won’t be a problem.”

“Nat…”

“Just kidding, I told her she would have to share her room with you.”

“And…?”

“She was fine with it.”

*** With your suitcase in your hand, your bag over your shoulder and music in your ears, you enter Wanda’s room. On the right side of the room there’s a king-sized bed with two chairs and a coffee table on the left side of the bed, next to the window that covers the entire back side of the room, providing a view of the trees and water next to the compound. On the left side of the room there is a large wardrobe, a door to the bathroom and in the corner there’s a single bed, parallel to the window. Above the bed there’s a shelf with a plant, some books and a light string. The room wasn’t very decorated, there weren’t many personal items. One wall was painted in a grey tone with a hint of purple and there was a purple bedspread, covering the lower side of Wanda’s bed. On the nightstand was a photo of Wanda, standing next to a boy with white hair. You figured it must be her brother, Natasha had told you about the twins and the tragedy. Apart from the photo and some plants, there was nothing personal in the room.

You walked to the bed you’d be sleeping in and dropped your bags on the floor. You sat down on the bed and with your feet still on the ground you let your back rest on the bed, closing your eyes as you take the time to take in the feeling of home. To be honest you feel more home at the Avengers compound then at your own appartement. After a few minutes you got up from the bed and put on some upbeat music as you start to make the bed.

Singing along to the music cheerfully, you put the duvet in its cover. With both corners of the blanket in your hands you shake the cover over the duvet. With the music in both your ears you didn’t hear someone come in, so when you feel a hand on your shoulder, you are slightly startled. You quickly stop the music and take out your AirPods. You turn around to lay your eyes on a beautiful woman with coper locks flowing over her shoulders.

“You must be Y/n.”

Wanda knew who you were, your name would regularly come up in a conversation. She didn’t know much about you other than your name. You were kind of a mystery to her. She was new to the team and hadn’t personally met you yet. One thing is clear to her, though. No one bothered to mention how gorgeous you were. With a lump in her throat, she looked into your eyes, once you had turned around to face her. The woman that was standing in front of her seemed like a nice, cheerful person. She had a beautiful smile on her face, but there was something in her eyes that showed her happiness hadn’t always been a given. She took her in, her hair up in a high pony tail with curtain bangs accentuating her face, she was wearing an orange tank top, which showed off her tanned skin, on top of light flared jeans and elegant black ankle boots. Jeez, she was beautiful.

“Guilty as charge.” You responded. “It’s my pleasure meeting you…”

Witty too. You reminded her of her brother.

“Wanda.”

“Ah Wanda! Natasha told me so much about you. Nice to finally meet you. Oh, and Natasha said I could sleep here for the time being. Is that okay with you?”

Natasha talked about her? That was a good thing… right? To be honest Wanda was rather intimidated by Natasha. Even though she had been welcomed with open arms into the group, once, you know, she had switched sides, it had been quite hard for her to adjust to the group.

“Yeah, she told me. It’s fine”

“Cool”

“Do you need help with the bed?”

“Oh no, I’m done.”

She noticed the bed was nicely made and saw your weekend bag, half under your bed.

“You can use that dresser if you want, and if you want to hang any of your clothes, you can put them in my closet.”

“Oh thanks!”

“No problem.”

“I was about to start dinner, the rest should be back in an hour.”

“I’ll make sure I’ll be there on time, I wouldn’t want to miss whatever culinary art you intend to make.” You said teasingly.

“Great, I’ll see you in an hour then

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midnightsconspiracy · 3 years

Text

The Missing Piece

The Missing Piece - @midnightsconspiracy

Summary: Hank being jealous of your and Jay’s platonic relationship leads to a relationship of his own

Warnings: None

Word Count: 1801

Requested: Yes!!

‘I need some jealous hank pleeease 😩💖🙏🏻’

A/N: This is my least favourite thing I’ve written so far, I just feel like it doesn’t flow well but we move :)

I only have one request at the moment so send in as many as you like, trust me when I say this you are not ‘bothering’ or inconveniencing me at all, I love when people message me or send requests in. So don’t overthink it, just do it!!! :)

Masterlist

Your life always felt incomplete, like something was missing, but you could never put your finger on what the thing was. You had a modest apartment, a positive relationship with your family and a job with co-workers you absolutely adored. So what left did you have yet to find? Every having romantic relationships in the past left you feeling that way still, a void that could only be filled by a specific something, without knowing what it was. It was infuriating, finally feeling happy with your life but still, there was a piece of you missing, a bit that felt empty. But maybe you would find that something was nearer than you thought, and maybe that something was a someone.

The day started off as normal, getting up, making breakfast then heading out to start the day at your job in intelligence. Pulling into the car park you noticed Jay beside you, sitting In his car, reading something on his phone. Looking up as you got out of your car, he smiled, proceeding to also get out of his vehicle, greeting you just like he did each day. You walked into the district together and to the upstairs intelligence unit, talking about some recent gossip while having the same playful conversation, laughing with huge smiles on your faces. Once you had reached the unit’s floor, you both headed to the coffee machine, needing your caffeine fix before you started. Noticing that others already seemed to be deep in work, you closed the door behind you, hoping to keep as much noise in as possible. Drinking your coffee, you continued talking to Jay, putting off work for as long as possible and wanting to know anything new that could get from the man. Any time you conversed with him, it always had an unconsciously flirty undertone, not because you liked him that way, but because it was in both of your natures, not being able to turn it off specifically for each other. After a while, you still hadn't noticed that the coffee had been drunk already, the time having flown by, neither of you realising you should have started working ten minutes ago.

Unaware to you, Voight was in his office, working on some files from a case that had been passed down to him from people higher up, stress levels increasing with each sentence he read. The sound of yours and Jay’s conversation breached the walls, seeping into his office, making him angrier than he already was. ‘Why did you have to flirt with Jay all the time, was he not good enough for you?’ He thought to himself, the attraction he had for you clouding his mind. Clenching his jaw, he went back to reading his document, knowing when he thought about you too much it bought out his emotions, and that’s not what he needed right now. But he couldn’t help it when he heard your laugh, knowing it wasn’t caused by him, but instead Jay. That man was a damn good detective but also a bloody good flirt, and in Hank’s eyes that made him a threat. He wanted you badly, having liked you since you’d first joined the unit, although Jay was not the only thing in the way. The biggest problem was himself. He was so insecure, thinking that if he did eventually have the courage to ask you out, you would say no. It was just you were so much younger than him, and much better looking and just all these other things that made him think you were better suited to someone like Jay. However, that still didn’t stop him from getting angry when Jay was buttering you up. Suddenly, he stood up, not being able to stand hearing you and Jay in the room next door anymore. Swinging the break room door open, he stood in the doorway, a stern expression on his face. As soon as the door had open, you and Jay had turned towards the intrusion. Noticing it was just Voight, you both relaxed, thinking he was going to idly chat with two of his favourite detectives.

“Hey Sarg, there is some coffee leftover if you want some,” Jay started, not thinking anything of Hank’s expression, considering he usually had a scowl on. This set the flames alight as the detective completely overlooked the anger he held in his eyes.

“Both of you should be working by now! You’re ten minutes late to start and I don’t appreciate you spending that time In here having fun and joking when you both know damn well there is a case you could be helping to solve,” he shouted, not only startling you and Jay, but also your fellow detections who had looked up from where they were working away quietly.

“Sorry Voight, guess we didn’t realise that time had gone past so fast,” Jay tried to rationalise, not understanding why Voight was getting so aggravated for something that would usually just result in a slap on the wrist.

“Get to work, both of you. Plus you both know the rules about in house dating, so sort out whatever this is out immediately.” And before either of you could tell him otherwise, he had stomped back to his office, slamming the door shut in the process. Looking at Jay, you gave him a confused look, trying to figure out why your boss had come up with these conclusions as you returned to your desk.

Throughout the day, you noticed multiple strange things happening. Firstly, Jay refused to look at you at all, looking at the wall or ground anytime you would address the room or would look away as quickly as possible if you accidentally made eye contact. It was abnormal, to say the least, considering you at Jay were usually tied at the hip, spending a lot of time together, both inside and outside of work. It had started even before Voight had split you up and assigned everyone in the unit new partners. Maybe you had subconsciously annoyed him? That you didn’t know but you tried your best throughout the day to get him to even acknowledge you, but each time failing completely. The second strange thing was the looks you were getting from both Hank and Alvin as well as the looks they were giving each other. Anytime you would look up from your work, you would spot one of them staring intently at you, then quickly retreating to look at each other. The ones from Olinsky seemed to be those of intrigue as if they were trying to gauge your reaction. But the ones from Voight seemed different. How it was different you couldn’t really pinpoint, but it seemed to be more out of fondness and concern, but you couldn’t really be sure, barely seeing it before he looked away. God, what was it with all these men today? One not wanting to look at you at all, the others wanting to look at you all the time it seemed. Eventually, you and your new partner Olinsky were sent out to talk to some woman. Wanting to know if she was aware of the illegal activity her boyfriend was running. After receiving some useful information, you both got back in the car, settling in for the short car ride ahead. A couple of minutes into the drive you turned to him, adamant about getting answers on why these men had been unnecessarily watching you all day.

“Why do you and Voight keep looking at me?” You ask abruptly, wanting to catch him off guard so he would answer your damn question.

“You should speak to Voight in his office after shift.” He replied, the car falling back into silence for the rest of the journey.

The statement played on your mind for the rest of the day, but finally, you would get some answers as the shift came to a close. Waiting for everyone else to leave, you wrote your statement longhand, knowing it would eat more time up. As the last person left the room, you got up, walking into your boss' office, closing the door behind you. He looked at you as you entered, holding an undistinguishable expression on his face, despite the nervous disposition he held inside.

"Detective Y/LN, what can I do for you," he asked, looking down at his papers as if he didn't care, although his brain was screaming at him to do something!

"You keep looking at me." You bluntly stated, wanting to pull him out of his comfort zone and get the answers Olinsky wouldn't give you.

"You are my agent arent you? Therefore I am entitled to look at you." Gazing up at you, he stared into your pretty eyes, resisting the urge to just get up and kiss you.

"B-but, this is different. You keep glancing at me as if you have some sort of adoration for me," thinking he was going to look up and find a disgusted expression, he was surprised as he found nothing but a small smile upon your face.

"Maybe I do, but that doesn't matter though does it? Considering you are seeing Detective Halstead." Confusion, once again fell on your features, still not understanding why he thought this madness, you are Jay were merely just friends.

"Me and Jay? We're just- Wait what did you say? Y-you, feel for me?" The confused look on your face deepened, never thinking this would happen. You weren't unhappy by any means, thinking very fondly of the handsome Sergeant, but he was your boss so why would he go for someone like you when he could have Burgess or even Platt! Rounding his desk, he walked towards you, stopping at a comfortable distance, not too far, not too close.

"Do you deem that as a bad thing?" Stumbling on your words, you managed to mutter a 'no', as you looked back into his eyes, finding a warmness there that started filling that void inside you. Not thinking, you flung your arms around his neck, hugging him tightly, placing your head in the crook of his neck as you inhaled his scent. Maybe he was that missing piece?

"Jay and I are just friends and will always just be friends Hank," you told him, removing an arm from his neck to softly stroke his cheek. He gradually tightened his arms around your waist as you reassured him of the matter.

"So you would mind me doing this?" He asked, leaning down to capture your lips in a searing kiss, full of passion, portraying all the things he'd ever want to say to you.

Just as his wish had come true, yours had too, as that missing piece of you started to make its way back to you.

#chicago pd #chicago pd imagines #chicago pd x reader #one chicago #hank voight x reader #hank voight #hank voight imagines

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