psanders2217
Poppy Sanders
A place where I can put my feelings down.
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all i see in the mirror is a crimson snake with tired eyes
glaring at me
staring right into my own tired soul
we both are exhausted
we both are tired
it's redness reminds me of how hard it is
i keep going through each day and i don't get anything for it
all i get is to live and feel the same thing every day
the gift of life
pretty much bullshit atp
i wish that snake could realize what i was and escape that mirror
then i wouldn't have to live a cycle of surviving
living and dying is the same thing to me now
i wouldn't mind either one
#my writing#poems and poetry#writing#original poem#poems on tumblr#thoughts#poem#my poem#personal#original writing#poppysanders#death
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The same thing has been happening.
I am just worn out.
So worn out I can't even make a nice poem.
I just sort of feel like an old metronome.
Barely clicking.
It's been a while.
I processed a lot of things.
I have realized I do not find joy in a lot of things anymore.
I don't even draw much.
I don't write.
I don't do anything.
The only thing I have been doing is watching movies and shows.
It is the only thing I have the motivation to do.
It has been getting harder.
I didn't go to school for a week.
I felt guiltier as the week went on and each day I felt like I am being overdramatic.
No one has really asked me how I am today.
They asked me three days ago.
But not today.
I find it isolating.
Wishing for someone to care enough to check in with me.
And then it never happening.
I don't know.
I don't know what I am doing.
I'm afraid of people more than I thought.
I'm so afraid of people, but I'm more afraid of being alone.
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Check this out by my friend :)
"Me Too."
Hermione Granger x Fem!Reader - Fluff
(aged up bc events happen in POA, but I wanted the punching thing, so...)
MASTERLIST
"Oh, would you look at that! Two little mudbloods and their dirty little boyfriends!" The arrogant voice of Draco Malfoy called out from before us. "Enjoying the day, Potter?"
"I was before you got here, what do you want, Malfoy?" Harry asked, still lazily toying with the snitch in his hand, resting upon the oak tree that was giving us much needed shade.
"I saw you should look at me when you talk to me, Potter. Have a bit of respect for your superiors." He stops for a brief moment, but just not long enough for Harry to get in any words. "That execution yesterday was quite fun, bloody bird deserved it for all it did for me. Had to stay the night in the hospital wing I did! But, I got my revenge via a sharp metal blade slicing through its nasty little neck. My father said-" Draco's little victory speech stopped dead in it's tracks when Hermione jumped up and stuck her wand on his neck.
"Go on, keep talking, Malfoy." She said.
Draco whimpered his face contorting into one of fear. She let go and began to walk back to us after a beat of his fear. "Knew she wouldn't do anything. Stupid mudblood's too much of a bitch to go against me! Surprised she didn't call over her stupid little girlfriend!"
At that she turned right back around and she punched Draco Malfoy right across his stupid face. He immediately grabbed his face, looked as if he was going to say something else, though better of it, and ran away like a little baby.
She finally did it, she took all those years of teasing and anger and she snapped. I've never been prouder of her and I've never had felt this way before either. Something about her punching him made my insides feel like they flipped around. The blood rushed around my body at the mear sight of it and I couldn't figure out why.
"That felt good." Hermione said, shaking her now red hand.
"Not good, bloody brilliant." Ron replied, thoroughly impressed.
"Nice job," I said after an awkward beat, putting a hand on her shoulder. Harry and I locked eyes, he raised his brows at me as if knowing something I didn't.
"It won't be as nice when they send Snape after you." Harry commented, leading our group towards the common room.
"I say it's worth it. Malfoy finally got what deserved on a silver platter. Thanks to Hermione that is." I said, smiling at Hermione. I couldn't help but notice the pink blush that had spread across her cheeks.
"The things he was saying about Buckbeak were just awful! Malfoy is the reason he was set for execution in the first place, I've never seen someone brag about getting an innocent creature murdered before!" She ranted, stomping up the stairs.
"At least we know that Buckbeak is alive," Ron offered. "He's safe with Sirius now."
"That's not the point, Ron. It's the fact that Malfoy thinks Buckbeak is dead, yet is still bragging about being the cause. That's like if I stabbed you right now and bragged about it, but you were still breathing." I said, before mumbling out the password to the common room.
"That's a crazy comparison, Y/n." Harry replied with a laugh. "Besides, I don't think that Ron could survive a stabbing, he can't even survive not eating for a half hour."
"Hey! That's not true! My record is 36 minutes!" Ron said, defensively while taking an obnoxious bite of a chocolate bar.
"Six minutes is not going to help your argument, Ronald." Hermione sighed, setting down her bag and sitting almost too close to me on the old, red love seat. Our group fell into a comfortable conversation, but I just sat listening to the small crackles of the fireplace. The common room was completely empty besides us, everyone including the teachers had been outside enjoying the rare sunny day.
We were so close, I could smell Hermione's perfume. It was vanilla and some kind of floral I couldn't quite put my finger on. The warmth of her body encapsulated mine and my heart fluttered. As before mentioned, I'd never felt this way. Hermione made me feel like the universe is falling and all there is left is us. Being close to her feels like a rare summers day, a gentle graze of a butterfly's wing.
She confused the hell out of me. Harry nor Ron made me feel like this, Ginny and Luna didn't either. Something about Hermione was totally and completely different. I thought sometimes that I could be in love with her, but I was never sure. 'How could that be?' I would ask myself. 'We're best friends, nothing more.' But, sometimes it sure felt like something more.
I'm not sure how long I had spaced out, but by the time I was back both Harry and Ron had disappeared (not that I was complaining). Hermione was still sat next to me, but when I looked over she was starring right at me, her eyes slowly scanned my face.
"What?" I giggled, looking back at her.
She grinned and her face heat up. "I don't know..." She drifted her words off and tucked a piece of hair behind my ear. "You're just... so pretty it hurts."
At her words, my stomach bottomed out. My heart felt like it was about to exploded in my chest. "Really?" I stuttered out, my throat felt like it was collapsing and I noticed just how close we were.
"Really." She breathed out.
"Can I try something?" I asked, my heart pumping impossibly faster.
"Yes."
Next thing I knew we were kissing. Her soft lips pressed against mine and it felt like heaven. Every nerve in my body seemed to vibrate as I placed a hand on her jaw to pull her closer. I didn't want to pull away, if I could've stayed there forever I would've. Unfortunately, air is necessary for human survival so I pulled away.
"Wow." She said.
I gulped, my saliva felt as thick as concrete. "I don't know about you, but I really liked that experiment."
"Me too." We sat and smiled at each other.
After a beat of staring I finally said, "I think I'm a lesbian."
"Me too." She said, her voice slightly wavering. I couldn't help but laugh.
"This explains a lot."
"It does, now that I think about it I've wanted to do that for years." She laughed, moving to hold her hand in mine.
Finally, it was my turn to say, "Me too."
MASTERLIST
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My cats ran away a week or 2 ago.
I miss them so much.
My parents don't care and forgot all about them.
I just want them back.
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It's been a while.
I processed a lot of things.
I have realized I do not find joy in a lot of things anymore.
I don't even draw much.
I don't write.
I don't do anything.
The only thing I have been doing is watching movies and shows.
It is the only thing I have the motivation to do.
It has been getting harder.
I didn't go to school for a week.
I felt guiltier as the week went on and each day I felt like I am being overdramatic.
No one has really asked me how I am today.
They asked me three days ago.
But not today.
I find it isolating.
Wishing for someone to care enough to check in with me.
And then it never happening.
I don't know.
I don't know what I am doing.
I'm afraid of people more than I thought.
I'm so afraid of people, but I'm more afraid of being alone.
#my writing#poems and poetry#writing#original poem#poems on tumblr#thoughts#poem#my poem#personal#personal rant#rant post
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OPEN UR HEART TO ME LET ME HEAR ALL THE THINGS U WANT TO SAY TO ME!!!! INVITE ME PLACES TRY FOODS WITH ME!!!! BE MY FRIEND!!!!! PLEASE!
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It is weird to post other people's words, but this whole rant is what I am afraid of for my future.
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sometimes i feel like i'm trapped in an aquarium
slowly suffocating not being able to get out
and everyone else is just staring
then they just move on
no matter what i do, they poke and prod
trying to rip me open to see what makes me tick
then put me back together with tape
like it never happened
i feel like a thing more than a person
#my writing#poems and poetry#writing#original poem#poems on tumblr#thoughts#poem#my poem#personal#suffocating #tired#people
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i feel more useless than ever
it feels like everyone is progressing
meanwhile i'm still struggling to just get up at the same time each morning
they all have either gotten their driver's license already or about to
and im still here
too afraid
everything is so much harder for me
my brain never feel light
it always is tensed
i don't know what to do
this is just a vent
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i see the thorns you grow to protect yourself
it's understandable
after everything they did to you, you would want something to protect yourself.
i just hope you let your guard down every once in a while
it's not good to always be aware
sometimes it's nice to just be there and a little ignorant
like a child
it's nice to be able to act like a child
#my writing#poems and poetry#writing#original poem#poems on tumblr#thoughts#poem#my poem#personal#thorns#flowers#age regression
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not really a poem, but i have this weird need to be included in things i'm not invited to
i was told to have a separate birthday celebration with someone, for my own sake, even though it wasn't my choice.
i want to be more included in stuff i don't get why people choose things for me.
we were going to see a musical.
i still want to go see that musical.
the first sentence of this is weird. i WAS invited, then plans changed last minute.
i don't know what i did wrong.
i haven't been invited to go anywhere for weeks.
it feels like i'm a bonsai that must be pruned to be kept "healthy," when in reality i just want to grow.
i keep being misunderstood.
i hate it.
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i think it'd be easier for everyone if i was whisked away by the wind
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all i look for is your validation
but all i get is a sandstorm
my eyes water
my throat is dry
suffocation is inevitable these days
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my head feels heavy
i want to have a nice dream
nice enough, where i will forget about my problems
forget where i am
forget who i am
just drift away into a subconscious
where i may be tucked nicely
and pecked on the cheek
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what rotten of a core i must have
mold growing everywhere
down in a ditch from rolling off the hill
the other apples near the tree are ripe
they are red
they are fine
there must be something wrong with me
i have to figure out a way to fix this
before i dissolve back into the ground
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hii! love your prose, just here to say that. you have a wonderful way with words and i want to eat it so much it makes me itch
Thank you so much! I am so glad you like it! I LOVE hearing feedback!!! 💛💛
#my writing#poems and poetry#writing#original poem#poems on tumblr#thoughts#poem#my poem#personal#i am glad u want to eat my words#yummy yummy in my tummy#!!!#love
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