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dellalalakang · 7 months

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triple n: RIP kang della

masterlist | main masterlist

— lhs, pjs, sjy, psh —

well.......

contains: fivesome. really rough (choking, slapping, etc.), DELLA HAS AN IUD!!, della getting absolutely manhandled, her hands gets restrained for a bit, BUT THEN THERE IS A BIT OF DOM!DELLA ACTION, double penetration (as in anal), tiiiiiny bit of breeding kink, kitten as a nickname kink, daddy kink (sorry guys lol ik i said i wouldn't but i can't help it), i also said that they're never goofy during sex but we have the 02z in one session y'all— it's bound to get a little silly, LONGEST FIC I'VE WRITTEN (7.3k WORDS), longest + most detailed + most insane smut i've ever written omg i dont think i will EVER top this

happy belated anniversary my darlings 🤍 happy two years to della and her men (and alice) ✨

AND HAPPY ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY TO ENHA'S (5/8) LOSS IN NNN! this chapter takes place on midnight 2022/11/11 (so i kinda thought that was today bcs dumbo self messed up the dates so i'm one day late but it's all good)

hi guys! i missed you! i will try to reply to asks soon! i'm so sorry for disappearing again, life has been rough and moving too fast 😭 DID NOT PROOFREAD BECAUSE I AM EMBARRASSED

Kang Della is going to die tonight.

While not literally, she was definitely going to be reborn as a new woman.

"Lala, stop praying. You're not actually gonna die," Sunoo said, more interested in his phone than his overreacting girlfriend. "You're gonna have so much fun, and we have the day off tomorrow. It'll be great."

"Sunoo shut up and help me pray," Della herself was already dressed, cleaned up and ready to head out.

But certainly not ready to meet the hyuppas.

"Why are we even praying when you're going to be doing something so sinful?"

There were three possible outcomes from tonight; One, the hyuppas being so annoyed that they prefer to ignore her for a bit. Though that is just her anxiety talking.

Two, they would take turns with her for four days straight. Which also means that she would have a limp and some back pain for a week or so.

Or three, they would all have their way with her, at the same time.

And the last option seems to be the most likely.

❅◦❆◦❅◦❆◦❅◦❆◦❅◦❆

"Oh, hi! Oppa! Really funny seeing you here but Sunghoon-oppa asked for beer, so here—" Jake immediately pulled Della into his room before she could escape from what was coming.

"You're in massive trouble, young lady," the girl would've laughed if the situation wasn't as serious. Who actually says that sentence in real life? Sim Jaeyun, apparently.

"Oh, wow! All the hyuppas are here!" Della laughed nervously. "Seems like you guys are preparing to have a celebration together! Wouldn't want boring 'ole Della making things all boring!"

The stern look on all four men made Della withdraw into herself. She avoided eye contact by playing with her nails, mentally preparing herself for the scolding.

"Kang Della, sit down," Heeseung ordered, gesturing the couch with his eyebrows.

"Ah.. I really need to my room though, Yunji-unnie's waiting for me," Della hopes that she could somehow avoid the earful, though it is looking very improbable. "So I'm just here to hand over the beer and—" she gasped when Jay slowly took her hands and held them behind her back like a criminal.

"Do you know how hard it was to wait for you?" he said in a low tone. "The only reason why we did this stupid challenge was because of you."

Jay's deep voice caused Della's skin to erupt in goosebumps. She bit her lip as her heart started pumping faster. She tried to look into his eyes but quickly adverted her gaze when she saw how handsome he looked with his expression. She could feel herself getting wet again.

"The fucking audacity you had to lose to someone who wasn't even a part of this bullshit of a challenge," Sunghoon walked over and held her face with both hands. He noticed a familiar scent within the proximity. "You've been fucking drinking too. You did a lot with Sunoo, huh?"

She had forgotten about the alcohol in her system, now understanding why her brain seems so hazy. She barely drank anything, but she is a major lightweight. The drink Sunoo gave her, mixed with the lack of sexual attention (and undeniably, Sunoo's seduction) must be why she lost the game so easily.

"I wasn't thinking straight. I didn't plan it or anything. Honest!" she replied with puppy eyes. While the look stirred something inside Sunghoon, it certainly wasn't sympathy.

"Even if you didn't plan it, you still did it, didn't you?" he asked in an eerily calm voice. "You can't really take it back now, can you?" he brushed her bangs back but kept his hold firm. "Even if it was silly little foreplay."

Everything Sunghoon did just made her core uncomfortably wet. She was embarrassed to clutch her legs tighter but her mind was just occupied with how stunning he looked and how hot his words were.

"No," Della whined, shamelessly staring at his lips. "I'm sorry, oppas."

"Do you know what's gonna happen now?" Sunghoon asked, staring at her lips as well.

"Am I getting punished?" Della bit her lip at the thought.

"You're gonna deal with us four, yeah? We've been stupidly waiting for over a week," Sunghoon caressed her cheeks before forcefully making her look at the two boys on the bed. "Look at them. We all deserve to be relieved from this challenge, hm?" he whispered in her ear.

"Nghh," Della whined at the sight of Jake and Heeseung. They were sitting on the joint bed with a can of beer in their hands. They were intently staring at the three of them, anticipating their next moves and patiently waiting for their turn. They knew that hard-dom Sunghoon would be the best at disciplining Della in bed, while romantic Jay would really show her just how serious they are.

"Do you think you can do that?" Sunghoon whispered again, causing Della to gulp and nod her head. "Use your words."

"I'm gonna deal with all four of you," she said timidly. She has never handled more than two people before, and now she's jumping straight to four.

But she is excited. Extremely excited.

"Good girl," Jay kept his hold with one hand, using the other to stroke her hair. "Your safe word today is red and yellow, okay? Regardless of Korean or English."

"Okay, oppa," Della closed her eyes at the gentle kiss Jay left on her hair. Suddenly all the nerves left and she's just left with pure anticipation.

"Good girl," although the words were identical to Jay's, Sunghoon's praise sounded rougher, more possessive. "Now come here."

Sunghoon connected his lips to hers hungrily while his hands moved to grope her bare breasts under her pyjama top.

Jay let out a small smirk, his hands busily tying her wrists with the neck tie he prepared. His recently free hands then moved to unbutton her top, helping Sunghoon get easier access.

"You're not wearing a fucking bra. Sunoo must've enjoyed these babies, huh?" Jay said against her neck as his hands replaced Sunghoon's. The latter's opted to move down and roam his hands on Della's hourglass figure.

"Did he? Answer Jay," Sunghoon mumbled on her lips before shifting his kisses to her neck.

"No, he didn't," Della whimpered at the stimulation. Her legs were now almost crossed at how eager she is for some sort of sexual activity.

"Aish, that kid," Jay cursed, pulling away from Della to grab himself a beer. "Won 3N but didn't even fully enjoy it," he then pat Heeseung's shoulder and sat down beside Jake. "Tag. You're it."

Heeseung smirked, taking a big swig of his drink before making his way to Dehoon. With some liquid courage, he knew that they would all have a long, wild night ahead of them. They all definitely need a few cans because they desperately need this.

"You could've tagged me, y'know?" Jake pointed at his roommate.

"Shut up," Jay sipped his drink. "Just go over and join them– who's stopping you?"

"Nah, I'm actually enjoying the view," the younger laid back and rested his upper body weight on his forearm. The two watched as Sunghoon pulled away as soon as he noticed Heeseung.

"I told you to sit down, didn't I?" Heeseung practically mumbled, using his free hand to push her down onto the couch. "Why didn't you listen to me but obeyed Sunghoon and Jongseong?"

Della's mouth watered at the angle. If her instincts were correct, she was gonna suck someone off, most probably Heeseung.

And she absolutely loves giving head.

Heeseung especially tends to let out these adorable sounds that are music to her ears. She knows that he will try to hold them back since they're not alone, but she is determined to have this gorgeous man let loose of his (almost) equally gorgeous noises.

"I'm sorry, oppa," the lower angle made Della's puppy eyes look even more cute. "I was just nervous."

"You know what those eyes do to me," Heeseung ran a thumb over her lip. "Should we forgive her, Sunghoon?" he sucked in a breath when she took his thumb into her mouth to suck gently.

"We'll see about that," a loud zipper sound filled the room as Sunghoon aggressively undid his pants. "Open up," and his cock was in front of Della's face in no time.

She did not need to be told twice. Her eyes instantly closed as her tongue swirled around the tip. She played around with it for a few seconds before pushing it all the way to the back of her throat.

"Fuckkk, I missed this," Sunghoon threw his head back. "So fucking good," he bit his lip harshly.

Upon the sight, Heeseung hurriedly lowered his sweatpants with one hand, but struggled to get his hard-on out from the tightness of his boxers. He eventually succeeded once Sunghoon helped by taking the beer out of his hands.

"Pay attention to hyung too," Sunghoon said and took a large gulp of the liquid.

Della wasted no time in having Heeseung inside her mouth with her tongue swirling around the girth. She didn't care as her hair got everywhere.

"Thereee you go," Heeseung grunted, pushing the hair behind her shoulders and brushed her bangs back . "Ah fuck!" he bit his lip to try and contain his sounds.

"Ya– I meant divide your attention, not completely move on to him," Della gasped as Sunghoon pulled her hair so she could come back to him. "Back and forth, baby, you can do it."

It is definitely difficult. Della has never given head with her hands tied before, let alone with two dicks.

But if the boys know anything about their baby, they'll know that she is not a quitter; she will persist until she's absolutely certain she can't.

She bobbed her head two times on Sunghoon before switching back to Heeseung to repeat her movements, and doing the same to Sunghoon again. The perspective was so hot that Sunghoon's breath turned heavy and Heeseung's moans were audible again.

Jay and Jake, on the other hand, were getting a bit impatient because they could barely see anything. Sunghoon could almost sense it, and as he turned his head to look at his two best friends, he found Jake fiddling with his can while Jay tapped his hand in wait.

"Hyung, let's move to the bed," Sunghoon breathed out, pulling Della away from him and up from the sofa. Della whined at the loss but let herself be moved around like a doll. "Be fucking patient. You were willing to wait for a month, you can definitely handle a few seconds," Sunghoon slapped her lightly.

DellaTheMasochist only gave him an annoyed look with a bratty pout, making him slap her once more.

"Oh you're gonna be a little brat, huh? I'll deal with you fucking later," he then carefully pushed her to Jay's arms, causing Della to smile in adoration. No matter how rough sex is with Sunghoon, he's still a huge softy.

"Well hello there," Jay caught her with one hand. "Were you being a bit bratty?" he asked while fixing her hair gently.

"No, never," Della shook her head innocently. Sunghoon grinned as he opened himself a can, sitting on the bed beside Heeseung.

Her absolute brattiness only comes out to Sunghoon. She's an angel with Jay, putty with Jake, and a dominant with Heeseung.

"Of course not, you're our princess," Jay breathed down her neck and captured a nipple in his mouth. He blindly handed Jake his drink so he could use both hands to hug her waist. He spent a few minutes slowly enjoying her boobs, leaving hickeys all around the area.

The three knew that Jay liked his intimacy, so they didn't interrupt.

He eventually laid her between himself and Jake, opting to just stroke her hair for now. Della was settling into a more comfortable position when Jay noticed that Jake's hands were now free from the cans he was holding.

He gestured for the Aussie to begin, eliciting a grin from Jake before hovering above Della.

"Hi, baby," Jake whispered. His attractive face and accent left a small blush to her cheeks. "I missed you," he connected their lips together in a steamy kiss.

The thing with Dake is that they don't always have a clear dominant in the bedroom. Most times it's Jake while others it's Della. What's crystal is that they are really passionate together. Practically straight out of an erotic movie.

"I'm still annoyed about Triple N but I miss you too much to fucking care right now," he ran his hands down from her sides, eventually tugging her shorts and panties down as far as he could. "Just wanna devour you."

He then proceeded to make his way down until he was off the bed with his face in between her legs. He completely got rid of her lower garments and took a deep breath, biting his lip before diving into her heat. One of his favourite things to do with her, and something that she desperately needed.

"Ah fuck!" Della threw her head back, pressing her thighs against his head. "Ahhh Jakey!" she whined.

"Sensitive babyy," Jay cooed and held her face with his hand. "You almost gave this up for a month, you know?" he left small kisses all over her face.

"November's my birthday month, she ain't gonna give this up for the whole thirty," Jake pulled back slightly to comment. With his accent and slight mumbling, Jay could barely understand what he was saying. Della, however, understood perfectly.

"I told you that I would give you an exception, right?" Della's answer just connected the dots for Jay. Big mistake.

"You promised him an exception?" Jay halted his caresses to seriously ask. But Jake had resumed his mission, and Della is far too distracted to answer. "Fucking answer me– you gave him an exception?" he tightened his grip on her face.

"Y-yeah, for his birthday," Jay let out a scoff at her answer and humourlessly chuckled.

"I was gonna go easy on you and let these guys do their own thing," his voice turned rough, something he didn't think he would do tonight. "But you were gonna give Jake an exemption and that– pay attention," he slapped her lightly when she moaned to his face.

"Sorry, oppa," Della whined, finding it difficult to concentrate when Jake's mouth was pleasuring her so well.

"It pisses me off," Jay whispered roughly. "Instead of just calling the challenge off, you were gonna make the three of us wait 'til the end," he smirked at how hard she was struggling to contain her sounds of pleasure. He let go of her roughly to sit up."Sorry man, I gotta take it from here," he pat Jake's shoulder.

"Mmkay," Della moaned loudly when Jake gave out one last suck to her clit. "I call dibs on cleaning her off though," he smiled widely while licking his wet lips.

"Deal," Jay immediately flipped Della over onto her stomach. "Tsk tsk tsk, Lala..." he swiftly took his shorts and boxers off in one go. "Stay down," he firmly instructed as he removed her restrains.

The three boys couldn't stop the grin when they watched Jay unleash his beast. The Jay they've seen before was nowhere near as aggressive.

"Have fun, bro," Sunghoon hollered. "Have fun, princess," he toasted his beer at Della when she made eye contact.

"I'm gonna fuck you now, yeah?" Jay whispered in her ear. He noticed the goosebumps that rose on her back as he was lifting her hips and parting her legs. "Hold on tight," he warned, handing her a pillow.

He bit the bottom of his sleeveless shirt just so he could get a clearer look of his shaft rubbing against her folds.

"Aghh," both Della and Jay groaned when his full length entered her. "Fuckk!" after ten days, he knew he had to let Della adjust a little. Yet he also knew that she didn't need long based on how wet she is and how Sunoo had prepped her.

So not long after, he pulled back and thrusted into her. Hard.

"Ngghhh!" Della squeezed her eyes shut while tightly hugging the pillow. "Oppaaa!" she moaned loudly.

"God! I fucking missed this!" Jay grumbled out. The cloth was no longer in his mouth and he had his head thrown back. "Fuck!"

He kept his hands on her hips as he pounded into her. Slow, but powerful thrusts.

"Ahhh! Oppaaaa!" Della continued to moan loudly. "Oh my God!" she realised how noisy she was being, so she began to muffle her sounds into the pillow.

"Oh no you don't," Jay grunted. Instead of taking the pillow away from her, he decided to flip her onto her back. Essentially switching to the missionary position. "Oh hi there, sweetie," he smirked at her, leaning down to place a kiss on her lips. "Hold on," he forcefully placed her hands on his shoulders before resuming his thrusts.

"Shit!" Della gasped, struggling to maintain eye contact with Jay as he continued to fuck her in the same manner. "Jay-oppaaa!" she practically screamed. Her nails starting holding on for dear life, scratching the skin of his biceps and her mouth was stuck open with nonstop moans.

The three other boys were turned on as hell.

Jake kept adjusting the bulge in his pants while Sunghoon and Heeseung had to constantly shift in their seats.

Waiting was especially hard for Heeseung as he barely got to touch Della in ten days. So he downed two cans and working on his third in no time, making him slightly tipsy and extremely impatient.

And the sight of her mouth opening just reminded him of something.

"That's it," he crawled across to Jella's side of the bed. "Sunghoon said we were moving to the bed, so you're not done sucking me off," he sat on his knees beside Della's. "Sorry, Jongseong-ah," he breathed out and helped guide Della's mouth to his length.

"By all means, hyung," Jay pulled away and halted his movement to let Della find a comfortable position. "You better do your best. We know you can do it, baby," he whispered to Della, taking off his shirt as he waited.

"Shittt!" Heeseung moaned practically straight after Della's mouth wrapped around him. "There you go, baby– just like that," he assisted by thrusting so that all she had to do was just suck around him and pump what she can't.

"I'll start moving again," Jay began thrusting as soon as he alerted Heela. "Aghh," he grunted, furrowing his eyebrows together. The view of Della sucking someone off in front of him just made him want to fuck her even harder.

He needs to hear her moans even if they were muffled.

"Ahh! Lala!" Heeseung whined when Della kept moaning around him. "Just like that! Sooo good! Nghh!"

Since his mind was foggy from the alcohol, he didn't even bother to hold back on his moans. Even when they start to get a little too subby.

Meanwhile, Sunghoon and Jake wanted to join in so badly, but fear that they would overwhelm their baby. Though they can't just sit there and do nothing.

So they decided to devise a plan for when their turn comes.

"Have you... ever done anal?" Sunghoon awkwardly asked Jake after covering his dick with a pillow. "Like do it from the butt?"

"Me or Della?" Jake's question made the ice prince slap his arm.

"Della, of course," Sunghoon scolded.

"Ack! No– I just gotta make sure I understood what you meant," Jake explained. "No, we haven't."

"I have and I brought condoms and lube," Sunghoon pointed at his luggage. "So here's the thing... Della has been quite curious to try like.. two people.. like.." Sunghoon tried to find the words to explain it in a way that Jake would understand, knowing that the guy mostly knows English sexual terms.

"Like at the same time? Double?" Jake asked while bringing his hands up for gesture.

"Uh, double," Sunghoon nodded, instantly feeling awkward again. "Do you... wanna try it with me? It's her first time and maybe you can do the... back because you've never tried it before."

Jake was quick to make up his mind, all thanks to the two beers he had downed.

"Let's do it," he raised his hand to dap Sunghoon up. "Jellahoon, am I right?"

"Of course," Sunghoon grinned.

"Fuck! I can't cum already!" Heeseung grit his teeth and slowed down his hips. "Lalaaa," he whined.

It was then when Della finally pulled away from the blowjob. She looked into his eyes whilst her hand kept pumping his shaft.

"Heeseung, babyy. What did I tell you about holding back?" she forced herself to restrain her moans just so she could remind him who's in charge.

Fortunately, Jay, who was finding the exchange amusing (also wanting Della all to himself during his orgasm), had slowed down his thrusts to help her focus.

"To never do that because only bad boys hold back," Heeseung's rational thoughts went straight out the window. He was fully going to show his dongsaengs that Lee Heeseung is a sub. A major one. "But I'm not even inside you yet!"

"Come here, baby," Della got up from her position. "I'll be back," she placed a quick kiss on Jay's lips.

"Go ahead," Jay was so intrigued at his hyung and girlfriend's new side that he didn't care about his delayed orgasm— as long as he gets it straight after Heeseung reaches his.

"Poor babyy," Della cooed at Heeseung, brushing his hair back. "Why don't you sit comfortably and let Lala do the work?"

The 02z watched in amazement as they discover how their hyung is actually like in bed. They watched him obey Della's instructions like clockwork, as if he's done this a million times.

He rested his back against the pillows with his legs ajar. His large bambi eyes were stuck on Della the whole time, looking absolutely lovestruck.

"Take off your shirt," Della pointed lazily, getting on top of his lap. "You're a good boy, right?" she connected their foreheads together and aligned him to her entrance.

All Heeseung could do was nod enthusiastically.

"Then don't hold back," Della whispered before sliding down on his length.

"Ahh!" both Heeseung and Della let out high-pitched moans. As Della bounced up and down, Heeseung's hands automatically went to wrap around her waist.

"Sh-shit!" Heeseung hugged her tighter while squeezing his eyes shut. Because he was already close earlier, it took no time for him to reach that point again. "Lalaaa!"

"Feel so good, Heeseung– ahhh!" when it comes to Heeseung, Della (most of the time) tries to compose herself. She's taking care of him after all.

"Shit– is that what it looks like when Della rides you?" Sunghoon asked under his breath. "That's fucking hot."

His hand then tried to secretly stimulate himself, making sure that neither Jake or Jay could notice. Jay, on the other hand, was openly pumping himself, not caring that his best friends could be looking.

"Damn, you're pretty big, bro," Jake suddenly blurted out at Jay. "Nice one."

"Thanks, I guess," Jay chuckled and kept moving his hand, not feeling awkward in the slightest.

"Why were you looking at his dick?" Sunghoon snickered, but that brought Jake's attention to him and that's when the latter noticed his sneaky hand.

"Why are you secretly jacking off? Just do it like Jay, no balls!" Jake slapped his calf. "We're literally in the middle of a fivesun—"

"Fivesome," Jay corrected him.

"Fivesome!"

"Ew, no! I feel so exposed! Like I'll be jerking off in front of you!" Sunghoon completely removed his hand from his dick. "And it's easy for you to say! You're still fully clothed!"

"It's not like we've never seen you naked bef–"

"02z, if you're not gonna suck each other off then shut the fuck up," Della interrupted their bickering while making eye contact. "Your hyung's trying to cum in peace."

"Yes ma'am," "Sorry," "Sorry," they all apologised quietly, hoping that no one notices their erection hardening even more. They hate admitting their thirst for Della's dominance.

Or to be accurate; They love her dominance, yet hate admitting their desire to be like Heeseung.

But it's not like the 02z have never been docile to DommeDella.

"Sunghoon, don't be fucking weird or I'll repeat last month's occurrences," Della's threat immediately made Sunghoon's skin erupt in goosebumps. He just hopes that she won't elaborate and reveal to his friends what exactly happened.

Thankfully, she didn't.

"Are you okay, baby?" Della went back and cooed to Heeseung, keeping her pace steady as she cradled his head.

"I'm gonna cuuuum," he sobbed. "Fuck! Lalaaa!"

"There you go. Don't hold back, Heeseung baby," Della mustered up all the energy she had to quicken her pace.

"Ahhhh! Lalaaa!" Heeseung used his tight hold to assist her bounces before ultimately letting out a loud gasp as he released spurts and spurts of warm cum. "Oh my God, babyy," he sighed and relaxed his shoulders.

"Good boyy," Della halted her thrusts, caressing his hair lovingly. "Filling me up soo good," she placed tiny kisses on his head. "I love you, baby."

"I love you too, Lala," Heeseung breathed out. "Thank you," he pulled himself away to connect their lips.

They were stuck in a slow make-out session for a while before Jay grew impatient and pulled Della away from the older.

"You didn't forget about me, did you?" Jay grumbled in her ear. "I gave you time to fuck hyung but now you forgot about us?" he lifted her up like she weighed nothing and placed her front facing down.

"You're being rude, Jay. Your hyung needed to—" Della cut herself off with a gasp when Jay landed a firm spank on her ass.

"You're not in control no more," he said in a low voice, lifting her waist up slightly. "Where are your manners?"

"I'm sorry, oppa," Della whimpered when he spread her pussy lips. She could feel Heeseung's cum slowly pouring out of her. As always, he came a lot.

"Shitt– hyung," Jay called for Heeseung to see. The latter had pretty much sobered up from earlier and is back to his usual self.

And at least for now, he still had not realised what he had done in front of his dongsaengs.

"Keep it in, baby," Heeseung took two of his fingers and pushed the cum back inside her, causing Della to gasp. "Add onto it, Jongseong," he patted Jay's bare shoulder with his clean hand before heading towards the bathroom.

"My pleasure," Jay whispered. He wrapped his arms around Della's body and instantly pushed himself inside her once again. "Fuckkk, Della."

"Yess! Oppaa!" Della squeezed her eyes shut, letting out babbles of words that barely made any sense. She could feel Heeseung's cum slowly absorbing inside her as Jay fucked it deeper. The sounds of the moisture only turning on everyone in the room more.

"Fuck! You're gonna cum soon, aren't ya?" Jay's hard-but-slow pace tried to quicken when he felt Della tightening around him. "Just a little more, baby– Oppa's almost there, wait for me," he left kisses on the side of her face as he tried to concentrate on cumming together with his girl.

Fortunately for him, Della knows exactly what to do in this situation.

"Fill me up good, oppa. Make me feel so full," Jay had never verbally admitted it to her, but she knows that he has a breeding kink. "Stuff me full of—"

"FUUUUCK, I'm cumming!" Jay's left hand frantically went to search for Della's. "C'mere baby," while his right hand went to bring her face to his.

They connected their lips together, essentially muffling their moans (and screams). Della used her free hand to hold onto his head, making the scene look even more sweet.

"I love you, Della," Jay mumbled against her lips.

"I love you, Jay," Della whined at the feeling of her own orgasm mixed with Jay's (and Heeseung's). "So, so much."

"So, so much," Jay left a final kiss on her forehead before getting off of her back. His eyes immediately went to her cum-filled entrance. "Good girl, keep it in," he grunted, his eyebrows furrowing at the sight of barely any cum leaking out.

He chuckled when Della wiggled her ass for fun. "How cute," he slapped her ass and stood up. "Agh fuck, you really milked me dry."

"Come on, it hasn't been THAT long, guys," Della rolled her eyes. "We didn't even last the whole month."

Just as she finished talking, a harsher slap was placed on her ass.

"You fuck four men on a daily basis– you still think you could've handled it?" Sunghoon asked, flipping Della onto her back. "Do I also need to remind that you were the one who gave in first? YOU?" he grabbed onto her leg to pull her closer to the edge of the bed and closer to him. "Don't make me teach you a lesson."

"Go easy on her, Sunghoon-ah. She's about to receive a handful with you and Jaeyun," Heeseung reminded. He grabbed Jay's and his cans of beer before joining Jay on the bed. The two were now dressed in their boxers.

"Yeah, just shut up and let's do our shit," Jake impatiently took off his pants but kept his shirt on, only removing his zip-up. "You've done anal, baby?" Della nodded her head in enthusiasm. "Yeah? And you like it?"

"Mhmm! Are we doing what I think we're doing?" Jake chuckled at her excitement.

"You're adorable. Isn't it gonna hurt, baby?" the tips of Jake's fingers began grazing Della's thigh.

"I wanna be closer to my men," Della gave out a seductive look to both Jake and Sunghoon, making sure to use Korean so Sunghoon would understand.

"How cute," Sunghoon mumbled. "Don't forget your safe words," he ran a hand through Della's hair before laying down on the bed, legs still seated on the edge.

"Is she getting on top of you or me?" Jake asked his partner. "Isn't it more comfortable with you on top?"

"I mean... It's easier for me to thrust but it's more comfortable for her to hug me, no?" Sunghoon explained. "Won't it be unstable if she lays on her back?"

"No– Della should be on her stomach, on her back is difficult, I think," Heeseung pointed at the three.

"Are you doing double?" Jay's eyes widened when he realised what they were discussing.

"Uh," Jakehoon replied briefly.

"Then Della should be on her stomach and the one who does the back thrusts from behi– on top," Jay gave his take.

"No– the reason why I say she should be on her back is because she needs to be distracted from the pain and Sunghoon would be able to thrust and properly do that," Jake tried to explain his take. "Otherwise his movements are limite—"

Their discussion was cut off by a loud groan from Della, followed by the girl hovering over Sunghoon chest-to-chest.

"Stop taking so fucking long and just fuck me," she wasted no more time and slipped Sunghoon's cock into her entrance.

"Oh my God!" "Oh fuck!" the two hissed at the sudden feeling.

"Fucking finally!" Sunghoon threw his head back. "Come here, kitten," he repositioned Della a little so he could move more comfortably.

Thanks to his long legs, all he needed to do so was to hold her in place.

"So fucking tight," he said with gritted teeth. He was never one to make a lot of noises in bed, but with his buddies around, he's determined to look cool. He was gonna try to contain his facial expressions, which is something he never holds back on.

Yet his plan went straight out the window when Della adorably cuddled into his chest.

"Oppaaa," she whined.

"Aww, kitten– my princess," he cooed, bringing one of his hands to hug her close. "Does that feel good, kitten?"

Della could only mew louder and nuzzle her head more, making all four boys coo at the sight.

"This seems enough for you, baby. Do you really need more?" Jake went up to her face to tease while his lubed finger equally teased her back entrance.

Della looked into his eyes and said the one name that the two have kept a secret for a long time.

"Please, daddy?"

Jake halted for a second, taken aback at the sudden change of mind. He was not one to be shy about his kink, but Della was a bit apprehensive that the members just won't understand.

But weirdly enough, none of the boys reacted, as if they already knew of the fact.

"Sunghoon, stop moving for a second," Jake went back to his position and squeezed more lube onto Della's hole. "Stay relaxed, darling," he warned Della before pushing a finger in.

"Mmm," she closed her eyes and pursed her lips.

"I'm right here, princess," Sunghoon whispered in her ear. "Relax some more," and immediately continued his movements.

"There ya go, good girl," Jake muttered, slowly twisting and pumping his finger. When Della was almost fully relaxed and resumed her previous moaning, Jake gradually added another finger in and followed by another once she adjusted to that as well. "Such a good girl."

"Ahh! I'm gonna cum!" Della announced, pushing her upper body up to catch a glimpse of what Jake's doing. "Fuck!" her eyes rolled back as she turned back to Sunghoon. "Oh my Goodness!" her moans only got louder when she looked at Sunghoon's facial expressions.

As always, his eyebrows were furrowed the whole time while he switched between biting/licking his lips, having his mouth open or gritting his teeth. He had completely forgotten about his initial plan of restraining himself.

"Go cum, darling," he choked out, giving his last few hard thrusts after Della threw her head back and cried out.

He almost let out a sigh of relief. If Della waited just a few seconds longer, he too would've been calling to cum and he did not want that just yet.

"Relax a bit, kitten," neither Sunghoon nor Jake pulled out, but they wanted to give Della time to catch her breath.

"What a good girl," Jay noticed Jake ripping open the condom wrapper and immediately sprung to action. "Taking four men so well," he continued to drop praises while caressing her hair.

"If it gets too much, please let us know and Jake can jerk off for the night or something," Heeseung also joined in with a joke.

"Hyung!" Jake whined. He somehow successfully got the condom on with just one hand, and is now lathering his length with the lube.

"Byee daddy" Jay added fuel to the fire by grinning and waving at him.

"Shut the fuck up, Jay, I complimented you earlier," Jake sent a glare at his friend.

"The tension is insane. Now kiss," Della lifted her head to comment.

No matter how many times she has teased them, they have never expressed or voiced their discomfort, which she knows they aren't afraid to do. In Della's mind, this would imply that the possibility of it happening is not zero.

"Aish Lalaa!" "Eyy!" "Babe!" "Aghh" the four boys complained, with Jake adding an additional smack to her ass.

"You think his dick is big, right? You have my permission and sucking ONE dick does not make you ga—"

"Okay, that's enough," Sunghoon spoke up and gave her one hard thrust. "Jake and I still need to cum, princess. Stop the yapping."

"I'm sorry, oppa," Della whimpered, bringing her head down to rest on Sunghoon's chest again.

"I'm only letting you off since you've been so good to us, understand? Don't test my patience," he said in a low voice, his hips starting to move in a steady pace once again.

"Understood," Della let out a high-pitched moan at the stimulus but was cut off with her own gasp as Jake pulled his fingers out.

"I'm putting it in," Jake breathed out. He squeezed some more lube on Della's rim before slowly entering. "FUCK!"

"Mmh!" Della had her eyes squeezed shut, trying to adjust to his size (especially with Sunghoon in her other hole).

"Our strong baby," "Such a good girl," Jay and Heeseung showered her in praises, using their hands to caress her arm and back while Sunghoon does so with her hair.

"Fuck– so fucking tight," Jake threw his head back when he was fully inside her. "Hang in there, baby, good job," he smoothed his hand over her ass.

"Yellow?" Heeseung asked about the safe word, just in case.

"Green," she quickly answered. "Can you move slowly, oppa?" her head shifted to make eye contact with Sunghoon.

"Of course, darling," he placed a kiss on her hair before slowly pumping her. "Shit, kitten," he squeezed his eyes shut and threw his head back.

Because of Jake, she felt tighter than usual but was still wet as ever. He knew he couldn't last long, especially after nearly cumming earlier.

"Jaeyun, please move," Della breathed out, starting to feel pleasure again.

Both Jake and Della let out a loud gasp at the sensation. The pace began to quicken in no time, making the scene look like it came straight out of an incognito site.

"Oh my– fuuuuuuck!" Della moaned loudly, feeling fuller than she's ever felt. "Oppaaa! Daddyyyy!" little tears began pooling in the corner of her eyes. "Aaaaaaahhh!"

"So good, baby. Taking both of us so well," Jake leaned forward to mumble in her ear. "Shittt, so tight baby," his face held a large smile and left temporary hickies around her neck and shoulders. "My good girl."

There's no doubt that the back end is tighter, but Jake's favourite was really the sight of having two of her holes stuffed, and the fact that him and Sunghoon were the first ones to do that.

The three were so into each other that they didn't notice Heeseung getting up to retrieve Sunghoon's old, red iPhone. He knew that they would want the scene to be recorded— for their eyes only, of course.

"I'm recording," Heeseung announced before pressing record. They all turned to Heeseung for a second and resumed like nothing happened.

"Come here, kitten," Sunghoon grunted, pulling Della's face in for a kiss. She moaned into his mouth when she felt her two best friends quicken their pace.

She noticed Jake tugging at her hair, so she broke the kiss off to then connect her lips with his, bringing a hand back to hold his head in place.

Jay, who did not want to just lay there beside them, started playing with Della's tits while palming himself. He personally doesn't need more, but he did not want the video to appear awkward.

"You guys really look so fucking hot," Heeseung commented. He turned off the recording and went back to his original spot. "I wanna kiss, baby," his head got closer so Della could easily kiss him.

"FUCK! I'm cumming!" Della pulled away to scream out. Her eyes were closed shut and her open mouth spewed out loud whines after whine.

"Yesss, kitten," "Me too, baby, me too," Sunghoon threw his head back while Jake buried his face in her neck. It did not take the three long at all to reach their orgasm.

"Jay-oppaa," Della managed to let out, weakly stretching an arm out so he could come closer. "I haven't kissed you."

Jay felt his heart swell in adoration and he swiftly did as told without hesitation.

"Fuckk! Aaaahhh!" Della pulled away but kept their foreheads together and squeezed Heeseung's hand.

They looked absolutely ridiculous being in one big huddle (and it was certainly not the most comfortable), yet that was the moment when the five of them were just connected. It's what they needed and exactly what they hoped for tonight.

"I'm cumming, baby," Jake's voice was shaky, and his thrusts started faltering first. "Shit! Good girl, baby. Good girl, good girl!"

"Shit! Shit!" both Jake and Della came around the same time. The former usually takes his time to ride out his high but he almost instantly pulled out so Sunghoon could finish properly.

Sunghoon looked at him in thanks, immediately adjusting his position and hurriedly chased his orgasm. Della started shaking and screaming with overstimulation, letting go of Heejay to hold on tightly to Sunghoon.

"Shit! Ahh baby, almost ther– NOW KITTEN. NOW, now, now!" Sunghoon babbled a bit as his orgasm overtook his body. "Shit," he sighed and relaxed his body, still holding onto Della tightly. "You're amazing, princess. I love you," he chuckled breathily.

"I love you, my prince," Della breathed out with a smile.

The two shared a sweet kiss before Sunghoon pulled away and shifted Della over to Jake, who was now lying beside him.

"What a good girl.You're an absolute champ and you're incredible," Jake couldn't help but chuckle. "We're so fucking lucky, baby. I love you so much," he then connected their lips in a passionate kiss.

"I'M so lucky to have you guys and I just love you sooo much," once they pulled away, Della's head instantly went to rest on Jake's chest. "Let's clean up before we get too tired."

"Oh no you don't," Jake shifted their position so Della would lay on her back. He got on top of her with a mischievous grin on his face.

"I called dibs on cleaning you off, remember?"

Eventually everyone washed up and got ready for bed. They decided to all sleep together on the makeshift king-sized bed with Della in the centre. They were cuddled closely, but it didn't really matter anymore to them.

"Guys, we're actually really cute," Heeseung giggled. "I fucking love this relationship."

"Just a bunch of bros with our girl" Jake sighed. He held Della tighter to his chest and shut his eyes, ready to sleep.

"For a second there, I thought you were gonna call me a hoe," Della giggled, looking up at him.

"I'm never gonna call you a hoe, babe! I'm not Sunghoon!" Jake's reply made Sunghoon smack his shoulder.

"I will never call her that!" Sunghoon looked at him with betrayal. "I don't even know what that means but I know it's bad!"

"You call her names in bed, we all know it!" Jake protested back.

"Ya– rarely ever, right princess? Only on certain times and we both have no issues with it," Della nodded at Sunghoon's defence. "See?! Don't kinkshame me, daddy."

"YAA!" Jake shaking Sunghoon's leg off of his own.

"Today's session just revealed everyone's kinks," Jay laughed. "Sunghoon likes to call Della 'kitten', Jake likes to be called 'daddy', Della apparently likes anal," he stopped himself for saying Heeseung's out of respect.

"Pffftt, okay mister kinky. Didn't know you could go hard like that," Sunghoon grinned. "I thought you just liked vanilla but you were slapping Lala and everything."

"Why do you like to get slapped?" Jay ignored Sunghoon and asked the girl he was semi-holding.

"I don't know! Sometimes I just like things!" Della shrugged defensively. "I like a whole bunch of things!"

"Yeah and your boyfriends all like different things too," Sunghoon chuckled. "You're absolutely perfect for us."

"Awww," Della grinned but got shy and hid her face in Jake's chest. "I'm sorry for making you all join No Nut November. This was really dumb and I'm also really sorry for losing to someone who didn't even join."

"Don't worry about that, darling. It's all forgiven and practically forgo—" Jay's words were cut off by the boom of Heeseung's voice beside him.

"WAIT!" Heeseung shot up straight in realisation. Della and Jake both jumped in surprise while Sunghoon and Jay flinched. Heeseung looked back at them with horror in his eyes.

There was a reason why he was quiet the whole time. It's because it just hit him how;

"YOU GUYS FUCKING SAW ME IN MY WEAK STATE!"

i gotta be honest, i hate to be that person but i was feeling really insecure about my writing tbh. like the first draft was not hot AT ALL and i wanted this long awaited/overdue smut to make you guys all hot and bothered y'know? i think it's much better now and i'm feeling both proud and insecure but i hope you enjoyed it and happy anniversary! taglist: @duolingofanaccount @lalalalawon @clar-iii @deafeningballoonpeach

#enhypen hard hours #enhypen smut #kang lala #sunghoon smut #heeseung smut #jake smut #jay smut

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astra-galaxie · 20 days

Note

🌙🤍❤☮️◾️🔻🔶☯️-Diego del Lobo (sorry if it's a lot!)

No worries! I enjoy the occasional headcanon challenge! And getting to talk about Diego!😁

☾ - sleep headcanon

You’ve heard of getting your beauty sleep? Well, that’s true for Diego! He enjoys getting a good night’s rest and takes the time to prepare himself for bed. That being said, he is also a night owl and likes staying up to watch the moon rise into the sky and the stars twinkle around it. He has always admired the beauty of the moon and night sky, and while it requires him to sacrifice sleep, he’ll stay awake to sketch or paint the scene if it is exceptionally breathtaking that night.

♡ - romantic headcanon

Even if Diego can come off as forward with his flirting, he is a true gentleman at heart! He treats his lovers well and makes them feel special in ways they will appreciate. For those who manage to truly captivate his heart, the highest honour he will give them is to draw or paint them. Creating art pieces dedicated to someone is Diego’s way of showing how important that person is to him; he doesn't paint just anyone, even if they're pretty!

♥ - family headcanon

Diego has a good relationship with his parents, but when he was young, they fell on hard times, which led him to begin stealing. His parents pleaded with him to stop before he got caught, but Diego found he enjoyed the thrill of thievery too much to give it up. This eventually led to him leaving Spain to steal bigger and better things, but he always sent letters to his parents whenever he stopped somewhere long enough to do so.

☮ - friendship headcanon

Given his criminal nature, Diego actually didn’t have many friends until he met the Flying Squad. Living a life of crime meant you couldn't risk getting close to the wrong person, so the list of people he considered friends was limited. Sure, he had trusted allies, but he wouldn't call them friends like he does with the Squad. So when he heard one of them call him their friend for the first time, he realized they were his friends, and he wanted to keep those friendships strong. This was one of the main reasons why he decided to give up his life of crime (mostly) and join the Flying Squad.

■ - Bedroom/house/living quarters headcanon

Diego’s home reminds people of an art gallery. His paintings are hung proudly on the walls, and other things he’s made, like sculptures, are also displayed for people to see. However, his more private art pieces are kept in his studio or bedroom. He keeps his house relatively tidy, but his art studio is always messy, with splotches of paint on the furniture and his supplies scattered around the room. Despite the mess, Diego always knows where his things are and can find anything instantly, while others wouldn’t be able to find anything even if they tried.

You’ll always find one of his art pieces in progress around his home, whether it be a sketch, painting, or sculpture; Diego always has something on the go!

▼ - childhood headcanon

As a child, Diego liked getting dirty. Most of the time, when he went out to play, he would come back covered in dirt and with holes in his clothes. His mother would always sigh when she saw him before sending him to wash up and taking his clothes to be cleaned and repaired. When he got older and adopted his gentleman thief persona, Diego avoided getting dirty and running his clothes. Still, sometimes, he can’t help but jump and splash in a rain puddle when he knows no one is watching.

♦ - quirks/hobbies headcanon

Ignoring his drawing/painting hobby, Diego enjoys designing clothes. He has sketchbooks dedicated to his designs, from ball gowns and suits to casual wear and shoes. Many of his clothes are handmade by himself, and a few times, he was able to create some of his other designs for people. One of his favourite things to design is dresses, including sundresses, formal wear and even wedding dresses. He’s rarely been able to bring these types of sketches to life, but years ago, he did have a muse and people to make them for.

☯ - likes/dislikes headcanon

Likes:

Beautiful things

Music

Gambling

Art-based history

Dislikes:

Cheating (on people, I mean)

People who disrespect artwork

Sailing (he only does it when necessary due to his seasickness)

When people abuse the power they hold

That’s everything I’ve got! I hope you like the headcanons, and thank you for the request!

P.S. I have another smaller Diego ask in my inbox, so I’m going to see if I can come up with answers for those, too!

#criminal case #criminal case mysteries of the past #diego del lobo #headcanons #ask

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depressopax · 2 months

Note

Hii if its ok could I request some married life with Mike Ehrmantraut headcanons? Or like how he would go about proposing to (gender neutral) reader he’s been dating for awhile, I love all your work with Mike! 🩵

Thank you for the kind words and the request!! <3 It’s been a while since I wrote about Mike now, so I had fun writing this! :) It’s a bit short thoo 😭 ALSO HIII FELLOW MIKE FAN Hope you enjoy the fic!! <3

Pairing: Mike Ehrmantraut x gender-neutral reader Genre: Fluff, headcanons Warning(s): None (lmk if I should add any!) Words: 0.6k Summary: Married life with Mike would include... English is not my main language, if I make any spelling mistakes please let me know so I can improve my writing! <3 || AO3 link || Masterlist || Request ||

Proposal 💍

I think I said this in my relationship HC’s for Mike, but… He’s the king of slow burn romance lol

Not because he’s insecure in what he feels for you - he does love you more than anything

Rather because he’s scared. Scared to move too quickly, to scare you away, and simply because his work “doesn’t allow it”.

Fuck it, let’s say he somehow quits his job for Fring… Then…

He’d be very quick to put a ring on your finger.

He realizes that his criminal lifestyle is the reason as to why he’s been so scared of a bigger commitment.

But now there’s nothing holding him back.

He has money, so he makes sure to find the perfect proposal ring.

Finally deciding on one, he tries finding the right moment.

He cringes at cheesy couples etc, which is pretty double standard-ish, considering he’s one cheesy mf when it comes to you lol

He takes you out to a fancy restaurant and then goes for a walk in the dark

After building the perfect romantic tension, he surprises you by kneeling before you

When he show you the ring, you can only think one thing: “Finally.”

He can barely ask before you answer. “Will you ma-” “YES!” “...Can I ask first, at least?”

The two of you couldn’t be more happy - finally being able to show love for each other without secrets.

Friends and family of you and Mike are the first ones to find out.

…And you can’t stop flexing with the ring to every person you meet lol Mike will be like: “Stop bragging with the ring”, but secretly loves when you do

Wedding 💒

Half a year after the engagement, you decide it’s time for a wedding.

Mike is a simple man, for him, it would be enough with a church wedding, or even just in the city hall

But you had bigger plans

And who is he to disagree?

If you want a big white wedding - he’ll fix it. PERIOD.

Seeing you all dressed in white/in a suit is enough to make his heart melt.

You marry each other surrounded by friends and family

With Kaylee being the flower girl 🥹 (Btw, her and Stacey both adores you and are relieved to see someone finally give Mike the happiness he deserves <3)

The ceremony is beautiful and afterwards you have after-wedding party

You even successfully force Mike to dance with you lol

Honeymoon 🏖

Mike takes you on a beautiful honeymoon.

He wanted it to be somewhere adventurous, but settled for a nice place.

Probably hiring the best room at some beach hotel

You spend an entire month celebrating your love together, going to spas, hiking and exploring the city and… Other things ;)

None of you want to go back home, but then again - you’re married now. So it feels ok.

Married life 💕

You live in Mike’s house, but he eventually suggests moving to a bigger place, in a more calm neighborhood - and closer to Stacey and Kaylee.

You buy a nice two-floor house together

Cheesy as Mike is with you, he def does the “carrying his s/o over the threshold to the house” thing 😌✨

The two of you probably get a dog or cat, depending on your preferences - screw it, maybe both!

You are happy to return from work everyday and have Mike waiting for you

He kinda become a “househusband” lol

I feel like he’s a clean freak, so he def gets these impulses to deep clean the house when you’re away at work - and that way he can distract himself from missing you too much

He also spoils you with gifts and dinner

Movie nights <3

Mike has had an intense, dangerous life but now finally can settle for peace and calm, together with the person he loves.

He is so happy he met you and grateful he got the opportunity to love someone again.

Thanks for reading! Btw, I'm currently writing on my first ever chapter novel fanfiction! It's a Nacho spin-off and an La casa de papel & Better call Saul crossover! Would mean a lot if you giys wanna check it out an leave a like or comment! Thanks <3

Link:

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cdevill · 7 days

Text

Kaiju No. 8 has been an interesting read and I was thinking how I could or would write Kaiju No. 8. If you want to read more about these types of posts for different series let me know or if you think it flops. The comment section is there, just let me know. This will act like a prelude of sorts. As a result, everything will be revealed later if people wish to continue seeing how this plays out.

SPOILERS! TURN BACK NOW IF YOU DON'T WANNA BE SPOILED.

Let's start with our two main characters, that way I have a starting point. Instead of Kafka being five years older than Mina. I would have it be either the same age and or a year or two younger than Mina. Now why? That way it gives Mina an eye opening experience to cadets that have a very low rating. Since if your rating is too low you'll be barred from joining and she has seen recruits being rejected because of that low enough rating. The Defense Force itself needs people that have enough talent to bring out the best chance of survival especially against Kaiju. She also has two plus years on the job, along with the pressure of what it does to someone.

Kafka and Mina wish to join the Defense Force. However, Kafka does not do it entirely because of Mina. His family was killed by a Kaiju and he wants to stop the pain from affecting other people. Mina is not aware of Kafka's real reason and because of this it does create misunderstandings. Kafka is a year or so younger and has always supported her regardless of the situation. He has been in many positions that Mina should have handled if she was stronger.

I, included that because Kafka has always been that way for Mina when they were kids. Even when he was overwhelmed. He would smile and this Kafka would do the same. He take it all just for her sake. It's something that Mina realizes.

I would also have Kafka and Mina keep talking with the other after Mina joins, to hammer home that Kafka is indeed the mental and emotional rock for Mina.

For instance, when she was experimented on and it was completely out of her hands. Kafka would throw a surprise party or do whatever she did without complaints, he let her be in control. As a way for her to find some sort of comfort. Regardless if it would cost him his job. He would be there for her.

Mina watching him fail the exams not once but twice and would know why he failed during both attempts. I would change Kafka failing and explicitly state why he did fail. Kafka had the best physical out of everyone not once but twice. It wasn't even a contest. He failed because his suit would always stay at a zero percent rating. The Defense Force even comment that such a promising gifted individual has to be let go because of the rating. As they emphasize that he couldn't take down a Kaiju unless he could use the suit.

Mina breaks off their bond by coldly stating that he would never be a worthy cadet or someone worthy to stand by her side. That he should give up on his dream and his reason to join the Defense Force.

This does make Kafka hate her because of her trampling all over him but even than this is not what leads him away from The Defense Force. It makes him feel like she was just using him and that she saw his zero percent rating as his own fault.

This event is what starts their relationship becoming strained and eventually broken by Mina.

Kafka does try to enlist again with his third attempt but he was still given a zero. He comes to terms with the development as he works in cleaning up Kaiju remains. A devastating blow to his goal but he is able to salvage the situation by fighting crime off of the clock. He may not be thanked but this is an outlet for him. It let's him go somewhere in his life because he realizes that criminals are just as bad as Kaiju. Kafka is fine with this compromise.

I wanted to show the emphasis on combat suits and how they're absolutely vital to fight the Kaiju because without one. It would be improbable to kill one. The Defense Force for as vital as it is, can't just accept people because of their high physical aptitude that blows everyone else out of the water. They need a recruit that can produce long lasting results.

I did this because I wanted Kafka to have more agency outside of Mina. That way it's not all about Mina, he's his own person with his own ideals. He is self sacrificing because of his past, where his family died. Where he doesn't want people to feel what he did and he would lay down his life for that cause.

#kaiju #kaiju no. 8 #action #fanfic #fanfiction #angst #anime and manga #anime #mina ashiro #kafka hibino

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henrys-wee-hen · 10 months

Text

No-one Fucks With The Lobos - Chapter 23

Brain rot go deep

AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/48070186/chapters/123590164

There was no mention of Josephine’s death in the morning news. Nothing at all. But, Teddy heard on the wind via his guys that she’d died. Someone had nailed her clean through the skull at point-blank range. There was no chance of survival at all… I feigned sorrow as Teddy murmured something along the lines of it being maybe the Kennedys, or the Santiagos, or the Masons… the guys understood the assignment.

Teddy was already in the office when I walked in with a bowl of cereal for breakfast.

“Hey, gorgeous,” he purred, appraising me. I had my robe on, nothing beneath it. My tan had developed into a healthy glow, even covering my scars. I felt real good, smelled even better – and I wanted to forget about Josephine fucking Maine.

“Hey,” I muttered, finishing my spoonful of cereal. I discarded the bowl on the edge of his desk, moved in front of him, and straddled him. It took no time at all to free him from his trousers and get him hard enough that I could start riding him. And he watched me, opening the robe and appraising every fucking inch of me, feeling me with his hands.

“God, you’re fucking amazing,” he groaned, gripping my hips as I ran my hands through his hair. He kissed me deeply, moaning into my mouth, which only made that sweet little coil in my abs grow tighter, quicker. I did all the work, taking what I needed, what I wanted, while Teddy spurred me on. I hadn’t realised that tears were pouring down my cheeks until I was forced to take in a huge, shaking, deep breath I hadn’t realised I was holding. Teddy stilled me.

“No – N-no Teddy d-don’t stop!” I whined. “Please don’t stop! Please – baby, please!” I clung to him, and he growled something, standing. He put me on the edge of the desk, still inside me, and started to move slowly.

“You’re fucking – crying – sweetheart –“ he growled, kissing my throat.

“D-don’t stop –“ I panted, clinging to him for dear life. Because if he stopped right now, I’d lose myself entirely. If he stopped, I’d spin out. I’d spiral. He was grounding me more than anything, his eyes boring into mine.

“I’m right here,” he breathed, his pace quickening. He was close. “I’m here, and I’m not – fucking going anywhere, baby – I’m right here –“

“Teddy –“ I clung to his shirt, sniffing, reaching up to kiss him. His entire attention on me. His focus on me, on my needs right then… I felt the coil inside me snap, and I arched my back into him. He kept moving, allowing himself a release that dripped out of me and all over the fucking floor between his feet, missing the edge of the desk.

“Fuck, (Y/N),” he whispered, nuzzling my neck. “Fuck… are you… alright?” I could only nod. But I wasn’t really alright. The gravity of what had happened the night before still hung around my throat like a noose. I shook my head. “Oh, baby,” he murmured, regaining his composure. “What am I going to fucking do with you, hmm?” Teddy’s voice was so tender. I leaned against him, closing my eyes as he held me close and soothed me. The door behind us opened, but Teddy waved whoever it was away. And I didn’t care who’d seen what. I needed him right now.

Teddy knew what it was like to take a life. I knew too, but only because I’d had to shoot at suspects. One of the reasons I didn’t want to be a part of Teddy’s violence was because the first person I’d ever killed was a criminal, someone who’d shot at us. And my shot had hit, because I was a really good shot. But taking a life because a girl looked at my man? Sucked his dick? That… wasn’t me. And I wasn’t coping well with it at all. That’s why I needed Teddy right now. I needed him to consume every facet of me so it would stop hurting. So the guilt would stop eating me.

“Again?” I looked up at him, eyes wet. Teddy’s face fell into one I couldn’t quite read. “Please?”

“N… No, baby,” he murmured, stroking my face. “What’s going on?”

“I…” I couldn’t form the words. The thoughts were flying around my head so thick and fast that by the time I caught one of them, it had already morphed into something completely different. I just… cried. I just cried. And Teddy held me, barely questioning why, whenever he tried to slip out of me so that I’d be more comfortable and could actually sit on the desk, rather than resting on my tailbone to give him a better angle, I wrapped my legs around him tighter and kept him in place. It wasn’t remotely comfortable for him, but it’s what I needed, and he didn’t question it. Because I hadn’t questioned any of the issues he’d had on his comedowns, and still didn’t. We never questioned each other’s motives…

But fuck me, I was questioning mine right now.

“Let me out of you, (Y/N), honey,” Teddy said softly. I loosened my grip with my legs and let him slide out of me. He tucked everything back in, then held me close again. After an age, I felt stable enough to push back a bit from him. “You good now, or no?”

“I’m not remotely good, Teddy,” I said softly. “Not even a little bit. Who the fuck am I?” My voice was so fragile, so weak.

“Because of Josephine?” I nodded. “It… is it your first time seeing someone die?”

“No.” I sniffed. “I’ve seen loads of people fucking die in the force. But… But I’ve never killed someone because they pissed me off.” A little chuckle rumbled in Teddy’s chest. “What? It’s not funny, Teddy!”

“I’m not laughing at you, baby. I’m fucking… it’s my fucking fault she died. I shot her.”

“Yeah, but only because I told you to!”

“I’d have fucking shot her in a couple weeks anyway, just to spite my mom. You just asked me to do it quicker.” He wrapped those strong arms around my entire body and held my tightly, resting his chin on my head. “I’d have fucking killed her eventually, (Y/N). Don’t you fucking dare feel like shit because of some whore.”

“But what if it isn’t the last time, Teddy? I don’t want to be a monster.”

Teddy stiffened a little. I felt it. He stiffened, and hesitated.

“Well…” He sighed. “That’s my fucking job, I guess.” His voice was tiny.

“Teddy… I’m sorry… I didn’t mean…” I looked up at him. “You’re not a monster.”

“I fucking am if I’m alright with killing people.” His face told me exactly how he fucking felt.

Shit.

“I didn’t mean you’re a monster.” I reached up and stroked his face. “I’m sorry, Teddy. Truly. I didn’t think.”

“You don’t like the killing aspect of my life. I understand that.” He pressed his lips together. “Killing people doesn’t make you a fucking monster, (Y/N).” I watched him. I loved the little nuances of his face, of his expressions… the softness of him. “I’m not a fucking monster because I shot her, and you’re not a fucking monster because you asked me to. Sometimes, in this life, in my fucking world, you have to get rid of people.” He looked at me finally, his eyes shining and sad. “She’d have ruined everything for us if I hadn’t got rid. And my mom would have sent her guys after you to take you out. So… it was your life, or hers. And I can fucking promise you, (Y/N), your life is far more fucking meaningful. You’re doing shit with yours. She would have been a financial fucking leech.” I bit my lip to stop it from wobbling. “The first time you kill someone, or you get that fucking close… it’s horrible. It’s the worst fucking thing… but it gets easier.”

“I hope it doesn’t, Teddy.” I wrapped my arms around his neck. “I hope it never gets easier for me.”

“Sadly, baby, it will.” I nuzzled his neck. “And no, you can’t drain my fucking balls dry every time you feel horrible about it…” the small smirk in his voice told me I was off the hook. I smiled against his skin. “And no amount of walking around fucking naked will make me change my mind about that.”

“We’ll see,” I whispered, pulling back. I wiped my eyes. “You make the pain go away, Teddy. You make it all go away.”

“I know, baby. Just like you take mine away.” He gazed down at me and kissed me softly, tracing my hairline around my ear. “Now, go and get some fucking clothes on, and come back in here. I wanna run some stuff by you.”

It seemed like the world didn’t give two shits about Josephine Maine’s death. Bellafrancesca called Teddy to tell him the sad news, and Teddy put on a brave face about it, said how sad it was. I was sitting across his lap, on another downer about the entire thing, while he made phone calls and took care of the business that didn’t involve me.

While I lay there, though, I thought about my re-entry into society. About seeing my friends again. My parents, in another state, would get a phone call… and then… the police force. Rebecca. What she’d say or do to me when she realised I’d gotten engaged to Teddy fucking Lobo… the people who killed her father… I sighed softly. Being out in the world again would be nice. Being on Teddy’s arm would be nice. Being (Y/N) Lobo would be nice… Another cacophony of emotion ran through me. Teddy adjusted his grip on me, trailing his fingers up and down my shin.

“Yeah, mom, I know. I’m not fucking sad about it. You were gonna fucking throw her at me – mom! Mom – MOM!” He gripped my leg. “Mom. Did I fucking kill her? Did anyone think about the fucking Kennedys? Or the Masons?! They obviously fucking knew you were trying to get us together, and they wanted the piece removed.” He looked at me, and I looked at him. He put her on speaker.

“- not a piece, Tedward, she was the perfect partner for you!”

“Yeah, in your eyes, mom. Not in mine.”

“So someone has killed her to get her out of the way. And I think you did it. Or did you have your little police officer do it?”

“Neither of us killed Maine’s daughter, mom. Get it out of your head. Word on the street is that it was one of the other families. If you’ve given one daughter fucking access to me, to try and make a fucking match, doesn’t it stand to reason the other families would want to fucking do the same thing? They’d wanna take her out to improve their own chances.”

“Where were you, then, last night, Tedward?”

“Last night?” Teddy rolled his eyes. “We went out to get us some take-out, but then (Y/N) felt a bit ill so we came home without it and I cooked us something.” Not a total lie. Teddy had cooked us both a healthy meal of salmon and some green veggies, but we hadn’t been heading out for take-out. Well – not the take-out Bellafrancesca thought we were getting. “And then, if you really wanna fucking know, we spent three hours getting fucking lost in each other, and I made (Y/N) come five ti–“

“That’s enough, Tedward.” Bellafrancesca’s tone was vicious. “I don’t wish to hear it.”

“Well, mom, you need to get fucking used to it. (Y/N) and I are still getting fucking married, and I want you there. You’re my only living parent.”

“What about (Y/N)’s parents?”

“They’ll fly in when we send out invitations and book stuff. But you’re not letting us get anywhere with it. Three of the venues I’ve asked about have said no because you’ve already booked’em.” He inspected my hand, my ring. “If you don’t wanna give us a decent party, mom, we’ll go to the fucking town hall and do it there. Then have the mother of all fucking parties, then disappear off somewhere hot and expensive for a couple weeks.”

“(Y/N) is a police officer and always will be, Teddy. Think of how that will look for the family if you marry –“

“Yeah. It’ll look like I managed to get the hottest, smartest, sexiest fucking thing alive to take a knee in front of me and show me a real good fucking time.” He grinned at me, and I kissed him. “It’s up to you, mom. Town hall wedding, or a decent wedding. Either way, I’ll be marrying the person who completes me more than you completed dad, even.” The look in his eyes when he said that was breathtaking. I grinned and kissed him again.

“I will think about it.”

“You’ve got a day.”

“Tedward –“

“Mom, I’ve got work to do. I’ll find you another fucking assistant. One that doesn’t wanna fuck me, this time.” He cut the call, sighing heavily.

“Town hall wedding sounds like it could be a lot of fun, Mr Lobo.” I curled up against him again.

“Don’t wanna wait?”

“And give your mom the satisfaction of keeping me as (L/N) for longer? Nah. I say we do it tomorrow. That way, when I come back out into society, I’m already a Lobo. And I can get to work properly.”

“Mmm… sounds excellent.”

“And I hope you were serious about that holiday somewhere expensive and hot…”

“Oh, absolutely. Somewhere Caribbean… or Mediterranean… How does Italy sound?”

“As long as we both get to fuck each other senseless as many ways as is humanly possible, I couldn’t give less of a fuck where we go, Tedward Eddie Lobo.”

#teddy lobo #teddy lobo x reader #tedward lobo #renfield #dracula

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blackjackmagi83 · 2 years

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Criminal Behavior (1)

Masterlist

WC: 1.6k

Pairing: Druglords! Steve Rogers/Bucky Barnes X Detective Original Female Character-

Summary: Rose Phillips, one of the best vice detectives in the game, was given a mission to catch the biggest drug lord in all of New York. James Buchanan Barnes. Framing as a lady of the night at a hidden gentlemen’s club, her mission being to do anything it takes to lure her target into her trap. Even if it means going through one of his accomplices to get there. Will the notorious criminals fall for her trap or will Rose fall for their criminal behavior?

Warnings: Lots of swearing, violence, and mild sexual content.

Note: Figured I might as post my stories on here cause why not? This is my first full story in a long time so please take it easy on me!

Hope you enjoy the chapter! ♡

Songs for chapter:

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Rose Phillips was an ambitious woman with little that satisfied her hunger for success. It’s how she became the top vice detective in all of Brooklyn, busting more drug rings and corrupt businesses than she could count on both hands. No case thrown her way could stop her from completing it to the end. It was both a blessing and a flaw, not only for herself but for any partner that attempted at working with her. She preferred working alone, less frustration on both people and more satisfaction when she solved the case single handedly.

Today was any other work day. 6am wake up. Get properly dressed, to be dressed appropriately equals professionalism, especially being a woman in the police force in the 1950’s. Can’t give them another reason to doubt her skills or what's the point? Next, is a slice of toast, coated in butter and a thin layer of jelly. Brush teeth for 10 minutes before heading off with the taste of toothpaste lingering between her teeth as the air passed through her mouth to her lungs.

Painfully fresh.

The walk to work was mere blocks, a brilliant fortune when it came to bus expenses let alone owning a car, but in winter it was the devil’s curse. Snow and heels never mixed but again, appearance was too important to dismiss for frostbitten limbs.

The station was nothing special, a quant brick building tucked away in the corner of the skyscrapers and upcoming business buildings, strictly meant for the vice department as there were numerous stations all over New York. It wasn’t unknown but wasn’t booming with cases like the homicide department had been over the course of the last three months, bodies piling mysteriously, beaten to a pulp with an unidentifiable weapon. Sometimes she missed that kind of thrill, catching serial killers was always something that was frightful and irritating but so rewarding when the jury spoke the verdict.

‘Guilty’

It was always a good week after an ending like that.

7am sharp, the glass doors were pushed open by freshly clipped and filed nails, not a speck of dirt daring to tread in the shining nail beds. There was a main desk in the center of the entrance, three rows neatly lined behind it. A staircase led up to the Chief’s office at the back of the rows, another led to the basement where the coroner stayed with the freezers of bodies, waiting to discuss their unspoken secrets with a bone chilling whisper.

“Chief wants to see you in his office, Phillips.” A fellow vice detective grumbled, his head not moving from the newspaper in his hands, as she weaved through rows of desks.

Rose merely waved in acknowledgement, setting her purse and coat on top of the desk. Set up closest to the set of staircases, the metal top was adorned with a Royal typewriter, sharpened pencils and pens filled with new ink in a spare coffee mug. Neat and clean, leaving plenty of room for the long hours of paperwork and case reviews.

“Where the fuck is Phillips?” The voice dripped with irritation and control issues.

Chief Stark. Cocky asshole knee deep in money from his father’s brilliant inventions and charm. He was incredibly full of himself, knowing he would get his way if he pissed the right person off enough. Rose had met his acquaintance three years ago when she got promoted to Vice, her ego surely would fit into the department he first thought seeing how she carried herself. A stubborn child he viewed her as and that hasn’t changed. He treated Rose like a distant stepchild, growing protective of her maternally, despite how much she annoyed him while in each other’s presence. It was a love hate relationship but at the end of the day it worked. She did her job with the least amount of problems to clean up and that’s all that mattered.

A quick stop for a fresh cup of coffee from the lounge was much needed before dealing with the headache that had already started, pulsing in her temples with pressure. Straight black with four spoonfuls of sugar, no more, no less.

The front receptionist joined Rose at the stained counter, lips mouthing a silent ‘Good luck.’ as she left the lounge, the burn of the mug along her fingers unnoticed now.

Chief Stark stood at the top of the stairs in a black suit with a red metallic undershirt that was so bright it could be identified as a highlighter. A black tie settled the tone down with little effort and his prized sunglasses rested in the crevice of the shirt, laying flat against his chest. His foot tapped impatiently as his fingers grew white from gripping the banister too hard, a scowl frowned on his face like a disappointed father, “You’re late.”

“No, you’re just a pain in my ass.”, Rose threw her hands up, waving the ceramic coffee cup in his direction as she climbed the steps to his office, “Can’t a lady grab some coffee before getting scolded?”

The comment certainly earned her a few looks, the normal response being a smack to the cheek or worse punishments. Rose was no ordinary woman though. Born and raised in the depths of Jersey City, she was taught many great things. First one to not take anyone's bullshit regardless of their status. Touch her in disrespect and she’d return the favor before anyone could blink. No one wanted to deal with that mess unless the chief said so but more often than not kept his mouth shut, silently strangling her in his mind. He needed her and she damn well knew it.

“Shut up and sit down.”, Stark demanded as Rose stepped into the cluttered office.

The office was stacked with manilla folders, placed along the multitude of tables surrounding the central desk. At least ten file cabinets lined the room, folders peaking through the opening at the top of the draw, bulging at the unorganized paperwork inside. Personal awards and pictures hung along the blue painted walls along with trophies from past cases handed over as mantel pieces to brag about to fellow colleagues or women of his interest. The thought of the number of women straddled along the desk sent bile rising at the back of her throat. She didn’t want to think about what the stains on the floor were from.

Rose threw herself into one of the two guest chairs, the leather huffing as she sat with sudden force. She sipped on her coffee with a sickly sweet smile that always pissed Stark off, especially during the beginning of a morning shift. It gave her great pleasure, “So, what’s my punishment for today boss?”

His patience already thin, he pointed towards the central desk as he shoved a stack of folders in one of the file cabinets next to the door, “Read it.”

Her eyes landed on a set of four manilla folders, three of them opened with a photo and pages upon pages of information. She picked up the folder he had pointed at labeled, sloppily written with her name on the front. Upon opening was a single sheet of paper, barely a quarter of the page full of words.

Year: 1952

Location: Brooklyn, New York.

Assignment: James Buchanan Barnes.

Her face had blanked, flipping the paper over a few times, "What is this?"

"Your assignment."

"There’s barely a sentence worth of words on here.”

“I see that.”

Her brows raised, barely holding back the smirk that quipped at her lips, “I think you need glasses then Chief because this tells me nothing.”

Stark shook his head as he pointed a finger at her like a parent to a small child, “You know if you weren’t as good at your job as you are, I’d kick you to the back with Dr. Banner and let you piss him off instead. Play with the corpses for a day and see how much of a smart ass you are then.”

“Awh, was that supposed to be intimidating chief? I’m shaking in my whittle boots.”

The smirk grew into a grin at his growing irritation for her, huffing under his breath trying to contain himself from feeding more into her satisfaction, “ Back to discussing the case. James Buchanan Barnes has been sighted in Brooklyn again. His accomplices aren’t far behind him either, in fact they’ve been glued to his side since his return.”

Rose opened the remaining folders as he continued, “Sam Wilson, nickname - The Falcon, manages security. Can turn off any security camera with the flick of his wrist. Heard he carries a pet drone around as well. Weird but alright. Anyway, he's helped Barnes move around undetected for years-"

Samuel Thomas Wilson

Known Alias’: The Falcon

DOB: June 24, 1914

Height: 6’3ft

Eye color: Brown

Military background with specialties in wingsuit flight and drones.

Rose read over his background, eyes skimming fluidly over the pages of words before landing on the mugshot clipped in the corner of the paper. Eyes hard with emotionless void filled into the hazel brown swirls. Nothingness stared back at her, projecting a warning to be careful. This man had nothing holding him back from doing anything that had to be done whether he was asked to or not. He’d get the job done and clean his hands of it without a second thought.

She closed the folder, placing it underneath the others on her lap, opening the next one as Stark continued in the background.

"-Steve Rogers, famously known as Captain America, the tank of the team and Barnes' long time friend. He can handle getting hit by a canon and still be standing as if it never hit him. Packs hell of a punch too-"

The scenes of gore hit her view first as she pushed open the sleeve, pictures upon pictures of bodies pulverized in different settings. Rose had closed her eyes at the sight, taking a moment to swallow the heaviness that flooded her. These must’ve been the bodies homicide had been talking about. It connected perfectly if Stark had been right with his intel. A man with power such as he spoke of, could easily do the things the pictures portrayed.

She moved the photos to the back of the folder, moving to the information on the paper beneath.

Steven Grant Rogers

Known Alias’: Captain America

DOB: July 4, 1918

Height: 6’2ft

Eye Color: Blue

Military background with specialties with hand in hand combat, shields and guns.

Contains super soldier serum.

Unlike Wilson, the man in the mugshot looked like America’s sweetheart. The image of every girl's dream guy with the golden blonde hair and smug smirk that flowed with charm and compliments. He knew he could have you in the palm of your hand and it showed greatly. But there was something hidden behind it all. Sadness maybe? It was impossible to tell off of a blurred picture.

"-And finally, James Barnes, The Winter Soldier. He’s the guy we want.”

Blue piercing eyes jumped out at her with an icy chill. So much anger radiated from the image. An emotion as dangerous as fire. Hard to distinguish its flames, spreading its terror in a blaze of uncontrollable destruction. This man was certainly the deadliest of the three.

“Yeah I caught that from the ‘report’. Says his name right here.” Rose quoted, her eyes never lifting from the pages on her lap.

James Buchanan Barnes

Known Alias’: Bucky, The Winter Soldier

DOB: March 10, 1917

Height: 6’0ft

Eye Color: Blue

Military background with specialties of knives, hand to hand combat, and snipers.

Captured by Hydra and brainwashed into an elite super soldier. Unstable and extremely dangerous.

Contains super soldier serum.

Stark gave her a smack of the head with one of the folders earning a mere eyeroll, “He’s the one that runs the show. Arms of steel, quite literally. Lost his left arm during the war, replacing it with a full functioning vibranium prosthetic. How he got his hands on it we’ll never know. He mostly sits around and looks pretty, plays with prostitutes, your usual gist."

Rose sighed at the pounding in her head, chugging the rest of her coffee down in attempts to settle it. It had grown cold, the bitterness deepening with every gulp, “Alright, so what’s the official assignment because I still have yet to know.”

This is where Stark shot her a knowing smirk, pleased that it was his chance to piss her off, “Well my little ray of sunshine, by becoming a courtesan.”

A courtesan, also known as a prostitute for the wealthy. Something she had no familiarity with.

Her brow rose, “Excuse me?”

Stark held a hand up to silence the fit that was about to come his way, “Let me explain before you try to punch me.” He continued his distracted pacing, eyes nailed to the carpet beneath his feet as his mouth moved with ease yet his body remained tense, “Barnes has been seen hanging at a gentlemen’s club near Albert’s dinner. It’s hidden in the back of the antique shop roughly a block down.” He stood in front of her now, arms against his chest as he leaned his back against the center desk, “What we need from you is to go undercover as one of the girls, show a little leg, maybe more if you feel that’ll move things along quicker, get nice and coz-”

“The point please Chief.” Rose gritted her teeth, nails scraping against the leather arm rests.

Stark flashed another look of annoyance but held in any snarky reply, “Long story short, we - I need you to get inside his head, make him question his loyalty. If he’s vulnerable then he’ll be easy to cuff and lock away for what he’s done. Then we can move on to his accomplices because as long as they’re out, he’ll be free in a matter of weeks of being thrown in a cell. So this needs to be done quietly and quickly. By any means necessary Rose.”

A chuckle exhaled from her throat, a squint of her eye and her lips snipped up, “Is this a joke? Did the guys set you up to do this? Or was it Lorraine? It was, wasn't it? I knew that look meant something when she walked by me in the lounge-”

“Enough!”, The air stilled with her dying giggles, a silence filling the space around them awkwardly as he stared at her with a glint in his eye she couldn’t decipher, “This is very serious Rose and you’re the only person I know who can handle it.”

This case meant more than catching a group of serial maniacs. It was personal and she was the only person he had to trust with this, even if the truth was hidden from her.

But Rose was stubborn, too stubborn for her own good, “I’m no whore and I don’t plan on being one no matter the case.”

She knew she was being mildly dramatic. He didn’t order her to do any sexual favors to help the case but the implication struck a nerve.

“Grow the fuck up and do your job or get out then, I don’t have patience anymore for your bullshit.” Stark was at the brink of having an emotional breakdown and Rose finally bit her tongue seeing the shake of his body, sucking on her teeth angrily, “Honestly I could give a shit less on how you do it, just get it done.” A calloused hand stuck out in front of her holding a business card, gold etched letters showcasing an address and name along the white cardstock, “Here’s the address for the place and the word needed to get in the back. I already made arrangements with one of the girls there. She’ll supply you with the necessary.. garments you’ll be needing and anything else you’ll need to know for the job. Now get to work.”

He didn’t have to tell her twice, leaving with a slam of the door, heels clicking obnoxiously on the metal staircase. Grabbing the recently placed coat and purse, she stomped out of the station, ears steaming. She mumbled angrily to herself as she walked down the block, too stubborn to wave down a taxi.

Big mistake.

It took multiple wrong turns and asking fellow pedestrians for directions as she was aware of her newly founded conflict, she was god awful at finding new places.

The neon diner sign illuminated a few feet away in her vision, declaring she was in the right area.

Finally.

A breath of relief huffed out as the worn down storefront came into view.

Brooklyn Antiques .

The bell chimed as she entered, alerting the elderly woman in front of the register of her presence.

“Good morning dear, how can I be of help?” She cooed sweetly, too sweet for Rose’s liking .

Rose tried not to look suspicious as she analyzed the woman, “I'm just looking, thank you."

She walked around aimlessly, sweat building along her back from her body cooling, looking at dusty rows of junk. The card Stark had given her was hidden in her sleeve, the gold shimmering against the light, showcasing the code words when she snuck a peak.

Rose peered at the woman, watching her from the corner of her eye as she spoke, "Wonderful weather isn’t it?", The woman paused her movements for a moment, watching Rose pick up a glass dove from one of the shelves, "But I always carry an umbrella. Never know when it may rain.”

The woman's face didn't falter from the polite smile, she just gave a simple nod before turning, playing with the books along the shelf behind the register. A clicking noise was heard, revealing a door along the wall beside Rose. The hidden entrance was camouflaged to match the wall full of knickknacks and dust covered trinkets.

"Madame Romanoff is expecting you."

Rose nodded in silent thanks, cautiously stepping through the opening. A multitude of locks followed behind as it shut with an ear piercing creak, the hinges rusted and needing a slippery coat of grease.

It was eerily quiet, the velvet walls and carpet absorbed most of the sound that passed through. The only sound that could be heard was a distant hum of movement ahead. Rose reluctantly followed it, her right hand gliding across the gun holstered to her hip. A safeguard for her if things went south. She hoped it wouldn’t for her own sake, there was enough blood on her hands.

The hallway opened up to a small ballroom, an old speakeasy, repurposed to match the high clientele. If it wasn’t what it was, Rose may call it beautiful. The floors were lined with the same velvet carpeting as the hallway, the walls painted in red and gold accents. Glass chandeliers covered the ceiling with swoops of black silk, leaving a shadowed golden warmth among the room. There were four sections of long couches, a circular table in the middle adorned with cigar boxes and lighters. Leading away from the sections was another hallway lined with doors. Rose easily guessed those were for more private requests or for business discussions that couldn’t risk being overheard. There was a staircase that led up to two rooms, the doors covered with sparkly fabric as a privacy barrier. Dressing rooms most likely for the working girls.

A voice broke her away from her thoughts, "You must be Rose."

Her eyes rose to meet a woman standing along the rail on the second floor, dressed in a floor length black gown, her thigh exposed from the slit that ran up the side.

"Natasha I presume."

"Indeed I am." Her eyes skimmed Rose's body with pleasure, she'll do well here, "Please, join me up here. I must give you the grand tour."

Rose wearily climbed the steps, eyes trained on her still figure. She was slender, making her appear taller than she was. 5’5 if Rose had to guess but the heels added a few inches making her tower over the detective with confident ease. Fire red hair was curled past her ears, resting an inch above her shoulders with pearl earrings studded in her lobes.

Gloved arms opened in welcome, her voice echoing in the empty space, "Welcome to my Moulin Rouge, a place for the wealthiest of men to lavish in their wildest fantasies.”

Rose wasn't sure what to make of the woman just yet. So far she was polite, full of sophisticated poise but something lurked behind her eyes. Whether it was good or bad, Rose had yet to be sure.

"It's..lovely Natasha."

"Please, call me Nat. You're one of us now. I'd like to think we could even become friends."

Rose smiled politely, biting back the sarcasm that coated her tongue, "Unfortunately in my line of work you don't make friends, just enemies."

A devilish grin grew on her painted lips, "Even better."

Chapter 2

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the-blivyverse · 2 years

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Somewhat In-Depth Delves Into My Worlds

So in my pinned post, I have brief explanations of my stories I've got way more stories than this brewing though but I figured I should post a more informative version of them soooooo.....

Anyways! Informationz below the cut cuz this gon be LOOOOOOONG baby!

Open Mind

So first of all, that is a place holder name. I've yet to come up with an official title that I like. All I know is there's gonna be an overall series name and then each book will have a longer name below the series one. Like Percy Jackson and another series that will not be named.

So the gist of this one, other than it being my passion project and the story I've had the longest and yet it's still chaotic and not put together cuz I keep changing shit, is about a young college student named Arial and her best friend Elijah and how their entire life and view on what is real and what is fictional is turned upside down after they befriend an aloof boy Arial saw around her campus.

Darryl(He's also called Dire and that's how I tag his content but Darryl is his actual name. Dire is a nickname I'm still trying to figure out how he got), said boy, showed up on campus one day and didn't really attend many classes. He mostly just hung around, seeming disinterested in everything and everyone. Even so, Arial found him kind of alluring and also somewhat... cute. And after, with some help from her friend Elijah, gaining some courage, she went up and talked to him. She couldn't work up the courage to ask him out though so she just asked if he wanted to hang out with them.

After the fact, Darryl did end up hanging out with them. He however still acted dull and glum. Arial suspected something was eating away at him but didn't ask about it as it wasn't her buisness.

So some months later, Darryl starts to act weird and starts avoiding Arial and Elijah and stops hanging out with them and it may or may not be because Arial confessed to him and he adruptly left but what Ari doesn't know is that he saw something and that something turned out to be something important to him. Arial eventually gets fed up with him ghosting them and confronts him about the fact. Darryl suprisingly admits he was being a jerk and appologises. He tells Arial he'll come clean about why he was acting strange.

And that's how Arial and Elijah learn that Darryl has been to another world and also got into some trouble with some secret organization(which is why he has a criminal record because there was a cover up that left him with the short end of the stick). And you may wonder why Arial and Elijah would believe such an outragoes story, well it's cuz Darryl shows them solid proof in the form of why he was acting so odd. This is how they meet Zira, a being from said other world who has crossed over to theirs. What she doesn't know yet though is that this isn't Zira's first trip, and that why Zira returned again was because they came to warn Darryl that a big and infamous faction of demons is after him. What Arial does know though, is that she may or may not be growing an even bigger crush on Darryl's friend.

Also Elijah is extatic to learn about the existence of other worlds and he has so so many questions for Zira. They both end up becoming besties too and Elijah loves to show them movies and comics and music and stuff. Zira also thinks his tinkering hobbies are very interesting and likes to watch him fiddle with electronics and even likes to help him conduct physics experiments with him.

Safe to say it doesn't take long for their loyalty to Darryl to branch over to Arial and Elijah. Zira absolutly adores the two of them.

Sooooooooooo,

The main issue I'm having is weaving together a plot. I have plot points, but I don't know exactly how to tie them together. I also have no idea how exactly book 1's plot is gonna go. I have a beginning, but I have no idea how to proceed it and when and how book 1 ends.

I do know though that in book 2 I want them to get expelled from the university for reasons that aren't their fault. Or maybe they are idk yet. But they get an appartment together and that's when they add the triplets to the party. Also Arial is gonna be a bartender. Elijah's gonna be an IT guy or work at a car repair place or maybe both idk. They are both trying very hard to make rent and also pay off their college debt. Dire, due to his criminal record will have the job of housework, cooking, and making sure Zira doesn't do anything stupid. He also end up having to be a stay at home mom too once the triplets enter the picture and has to work doubletime to keep those three out of trouble as well. But as Zira is alright at listening, the triplets are a whooooooole other story.

Oh yeah also Arial ends up helping the government develop a serum to help them take down demons nicknamed Holy Water. Why she does this? She naivly belives the government when they say they are only going to use the serum on "bad" demons, the ones attacking people for no reason. What she later learns is the gov sees all demons as bad. So now she's overcome with guilt after the goverment starts using her creationt to detain every demon they find.

She doesn't let this guilt stop her from rectifying her mistake though. Not only does she start helping any and all demons who start coming to her for help after Zira directs them to her, she develops an antidote to the holy water, and also starts working on a vaccine to it as well.

In the process, she gains the favor of many a demon and demon faction not including the faction after Darryl becuase they are a bunch of assholes and they start to see her as a friend and comrade, protecting her from harm when given the chance to. In extension, so do Darryl and Elijah. It also helps that the three of them have the Zira seal of approval, which only really helps with the factions and demons who respect Zira not all of them do cuz Zira's reputation fluctuates and is also a huge mess due to past mistakes. Elijah even lends a hand and finds a passion for prothstetics by making them for demons who have momentarly lost their regeneration.

The vaccine does cause her troubles when it comes to human opinion though. Especially when the government frames her as a traitor. This is how the demon debate starts. Which is a huge political mess.

Oh yeah also a character gets dragged into the other world because the demons from the big faction mistake him for Darryl so that's a whole thing too.

I haven't even mentioned the drama with the fornyxes yet. Fornyxes being the angels of my story.

Side Funfacts:

Dire was the original main character but I changed the POV because I was focusing so much on events that were supposed to happen in book 4 or 5.

Before Dire, Zira was the main character, and before that, a character that has since been entirely reworked till he is but a shadow of his former characterization and his best friend were the main characters. But back when they were the main focus, the story was way different.

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Catching Bullets in Our Teeth

now THIS^^ is an actual title, named after a lyric from a favorite song of mine and a big inspiration for this story.

This is one I hope to start, finish, and publish some time in the near future as a short story on Quotev. Just to have SOMETHING out there by me.

So I hope to expand this one after I finish the first part, even add new installments when I feel like it(I even have another story that takes place in the same universe).

Catching Bullets in Our Teeth follows the life of three artifically created werewolves, made in a facility funded/owned by a GMO company I've yet to name.

They are part of "Project Lycan" and their sole purpose for existing is to be weapons and asassins for the company, taking out targets that the company deems a threat to their buisness; ex employees that leaked files and info, persistent journalists, spies sent by other companies, employees trying to start unions, detectives, people sticking their noses where they shouldn't, etc.

When they aren't out with their handlers and murdering people, they are securly tucked away in the reinforced cells they call home where they are monitored 24/7. Easy to say, their lives suck.

I still need to come up with names and definitive traits for their handlers and maybe some scientists, but the main three Lycans have been pretty much defined.

L-A01 aka Alpha - The first and oldest. Her wolf form is deformed and haggard looking due to her being the first real trial. Being the first, she was alone for the first parts of her life and learned quickly to smush down all her emotions and feelings as a way of protecting her psyche from becoming too damaged by the treatment she experienced, the loneliness she felt, and atrocities she was forced to commit. She's the most levelheaded, forced to mature and toughen up at a young age.

L-B02 aka Beta - The second sucessful trial. I haven't decided how her wolf form looks other than wanting her to have red fur but she def looks better than her older sister but still not perfect. Perhaps she'll look scrappy who knows? Since she grew up with Alpha in her life, she turned out less drawn in. This becomes a problem though because she's a lot more outspoken and defiant than her older sister. She will requently question her orders and talk back to her handler.

This causes Alpha stress as she worries that one day the facility will view Beta as a liability and risk to missions and despose of her. Alpha doesn't want that to happen but all she can really do is give Beta a warning look or shake of her head when Beta acts out.

Beta also cares for her sister though. And being a defying voice when her sister won't is her way of showing it. She stands up for them when her sister won't. It really does frustrate Beta though when her sister doesn't object ever to their orders even when Beta can tell she really doesn't want to go through with them. Beta understands why her sister is the way she is, but that doesn't change the fact that it makes Beta angry.

L-G03 aka Gamma - The first trial to really show some progress in Project Lycan. His wolf form is healthy, devoid of disfiguration, and practically a perfect specimen of what the project hopes to achieve in the creation process of lycanthropes. Because of this, Gamma is currently the facilties most valuable peice of research.

Gamma is the youngest, obviously. So young in fact, that he has yet to begin going on missions or to start his training. He's also given special treatment by the staff and is their pride and joy.

Despite this, the other two really aren't jealous. Well, they were at first, but they soon fell in love with their little brother. However, this also makes them dread that day he will join them in the purpose they were made to serve.

Gamma is a sweetheart, his smile is radiant and he's always so chipper. He always misses his big sisters when they "go outside to play" and eagerly waits for their return.

He's even the one who gives them their real names as he has reading privaleges and often tells them all about the things he's read about.

Gamma becomes the calaclyst for Alpha and Beta's decision to escape the facility with him, before he can become deeply traumatized liken them.

There's also the case of the other plot I'm making that takes place in the same universe where another group of experiments is involved but it only really focuses on one of them; and that's Project Dryad aka human/plant hybrid freaks of nature. Kalmia is the main focus of that one.

One of the scientists involved in that project gets super attached to her and even plans to break her out, however that doesn't end up happening exactly cuz the company funding Project Lycan finds out about project Dryad and the fact that one of their rival companies is behind it. So by now the project lycan company has created more lycanthropes, this time with measures to keep them compliant(cool ass mecha gear and headsets), and they basically seige the Project Dryad facilty, slaughter everyone, and confiscate all their project resources and progress(data, formulas, live subjects, etc). All except for Kalmia who was able to escape thanks to the scientist (scientist sadly doesn't make it :( ).

Kalmia ends up bumping into a group of other characters but I haven't decided who they are yet.

More elaboration on that one when I figure it out more.

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Five Horse

^^Another placeholder name

So in this one, there are seven gods who I have yet to name.

The gods are all a bunch of incompetant indecisive wishywashies, all except for one. So when the gods all decide to end the world so they can reset and reshape it, the seventh objects becuase it's super unfair to do that to all the mortals living their lives in the current one. The other six ignore them.

The seventh tries to stop them but the other six kill them and then end the world and lets just say it's not a fun last few moments for the mortals all living down there.

So now all the mortals and the fallen god are in the void until the six gods bring them back with their memories erased to exist in their newly remade world.

The fallen god is very pissed about this whole thing so they try to find a way out of the void they are stuck in. They can't really do much to get out though so they enlist the help of four mortals they managed to get ahold of after they die. But they aren't able to actually talk to the mortals until the next reset so in the meantime, the four just come back from the dead, with some new powers too, and cause problems until the six gods take notice and shut the world down.

So when the four are back in the void but conscious this time, the fallen god apoints them as their four horsemen and asks for their help in reserecting them and pulling them out of the void. Thus begins the saga of the four horsemen repeatedly dying be it when the world ends and resets or being killed by the three mortals the six have employed to stop them from achieving their goal of reserecting the fallen god.

It doesn't help that the horsemen have no fucking clue wtf they are supposed to do to reserect the fallen god and tbh I don't really have any idea how exactly they are supposed to either. It ALSO doesn't help that one of the three sent after them is the man that murdered Mellona. Mellona has made it her goal to kill him each reset btw.

Oh yeah and each reset onward from when the four got their powers, they keep all their memories thanks to the fallen god.

Oh also some descriptions of the horsemen because I forgot:

Charlotte, War - She was a noblewoman who's arranged marriage became her living hell as her husband was incredibly abusive to her. She was always a gentle soul and was taught to be passive all her life so she didn't know what to do and just dealt with it until one day she snapped and killed him. The court was anything but sympathetic to her though and she was hanged for murder. A deep dark ring from the rope is ever present on her neck now.

Now, she's less gentle and less passive. Even so, she won't strike unless somone strikes first. She can also weild the cold and decrease the temperture in a room in seconds as well as form weapons out of ice. And ice means no evidence in the form of a murder weapon.

Day, Famine - Things didn't go great for him pretty much most of his life. Add the issues he has on top of that, and he found himself tethered to an asylum with no hope of getting out. Having always felt hopeless his whole life and the fact that being stuck in an assylum didn't help, he ended up taking his own life in his room one night.

Now he's an apathetic and sarcastic controller of plants and animals. Flowers also constantly grow from the scars on his wrists.

Day also struggles with his self identity and isnt entirely sure if he's a man or not. He knows for certain he's definitly not a girl though. But yeah he ends up going by he/they.

Mellona, Pestilence - A hopeless romantic and very joyful young woman, but also naive. She was head over heels in love with a married man who she genuinly thought loved her back when they had an affair. The man would grow bored of her though and stop paying her any attention after a while.

He later grew paranoid afterward that she'd spill the beans and his wife would find out. So when he went to her and told her exactly what she wanted to hear, her thrill at the news made her blind to the man's sinster plans for her.

She followed him into the woods, rose tinted glasses making her not see the red flags. So when he stabbed and killed her, that confusion and pain morphed into rage.

When she came back from the dead with newfound powers, the first thing she did was kill him using his own wife.

Mellona is definitly the most unhinged and sadistic of all the horsemen. Any wounds she inflicts are full of eggs that hatch into maggots who kill somone from the inside and then she can use their body as mind controlled zombie. She has long sharp nails and caninens and her long brown hair is tangled and mangy. Fungus and mushrooms also grow around the stab wound in her chest.

Hadeon, Death - He was an orphaned child who spent his short life alone as a street urchin until hunger led him to starving to death.

Despite this, he's definitly the nicest out of the horsemen. His friendliness doesn't change that fact that a single touch from him is all it takes for somone to bubble and fester into a screaming puddle of flesh and blood. That's why he wears gloves and refuses to touch anyone except the other horsemen becuase they are immune.

He's also deathly skinny and is just happy to finally not be alone anymore. Safe to say, he views the others as his family.

I'd also talk about the three "heros" appointed by the six gods but tbh I haven't really defined them much yet.

They will be based off Live Laugh Love though.

All I got is that Love, the man that killed Mellona, ironically on many resets falls for her and Mellona doesn't know how to feel about it.

Laugh is of course gonna be the cheerful one, and I guess Live can be the one who manages to be the last one standing each time the horsemen choose to deal with the heros violently.

Yeah so sometimes heros and horsemen die but they all come back after the reset. With each reset, the world changes genres and the horsemen and heros take on different roles with each one. I was planning on originally making the horsemen always take up bad guy roles and the heros take on good guy ones, but I was thinking perhaps it's the reverse? Or maybe it changes each time? Idk yet.

The fallen god is suprisingly nice to the four horsemen and greatly advises they avoid fighting the six gods head on at all costs as they will lose. The fallen god promises that when they are reserected, they'll set everything right and stop the resets.

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Post Apocalyptic Daycare

^^ Place holder name that I came up with on the fly cuz I had to tag those posts with SOMETHING.

So a race of immortals called Evermores have a huge dick measuring contest that involves all of them getting into fights with eachother and causing enviromental devastation in the process and that's not great for the humans just trying to survive and live their lives. Humans end up getting driven underground because of it and sooooo much of the world is reduced to desolate wastes.

Also the Evermores aren't 1v1ing this pvp either cuz there's different clans of Evermores who fight as teams but also engage in solo battles with other Evermores as well as well as one Evermore going against multiple Evermores too. It's a huge mess. And the best part is the war isn't even over anything important it's just arrogent immortals fighting eachother to decide who's the bestest strongest immortal at the cost of literally everything else in their world.

One of these clans is Blanchfjer, one of it's members being an Evermore named Sanguinalbyss. Sanguin was a very formidable fighter. So formidable in fact, that she ended up being the lone survivor of her clan.

Yeah that's how the war ends. The Evermores all kill eachother off in their stupid conquest to see who's the best. Sanguin just so happens to still be alive because after her clan all died she lost her will to continue fighting.

So the world is still pretty wrecked but over the course of thousands of years, it begins to heal, moss and plantlife growing over the skellatall remains of dead Evermores, animals by some miracle bouncing back, and of course humans too. Sanguin watches it all happen as she wanderes the world aimlessly, wondering why she's even still here.

I'm still figuring out the details, but a friendly human who I still don't have a name or know how he looks befriends and invites her back to his home, a human settlement that's slowly developing. (Also Sanguin has a human form too but I haven't figured out how exactly to explain why she has it). His job there is to look after and take care of the settlement's children when their parents are too busy to do so themselves becuase there's always lots of work to do around the settlement.

Sanguin ends up helping him because the kids take a liking to her. She slowly learns how exactly to take care of human children, how to speak to them, what to do if they get hurt, how to explain difficult subjects to them, etc. But mostly, she becomes their protector and rains hell down on any who try to bring harm to the kids in her care.

Through all of this, Sanguin learns to move on from her bloody past and heal from the loss of her clan and live a much more mellow and happy life.

Also her caring for the children and white bird-like appearance is how she earns the affectionate name Mother Goose, Goose for short.

Not exactly sure what the whole plot will be for this one.

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Low Price, Big Problems

^^Honestly unsure if this one is a placeholder or the official title... Before, it was named "The Rent Was Cheap" but I changed it(It was also named Low Rent Big Problems but I changed Rent to Price cuz it made more sense).

This started off as a highschool project for American Popculture(An interesting class btw and one of the very few I actually paid attention to and was engaged in) where we needed to create a sitcom. I did mine about a young adult who bought a very creepy run down house because of its low price. The reason the price was so cheap is due to everyone thinking the house is super uber haunted and the reason Gidget, the girl, even bought it is cuz she literally couldn't afford anywhere else. And, turns out, the house IS haunted; sort of. Some demons are squatting in it. So Gidget, instead of trying to find a way to get rid of them, lets them stay because she thinks it would be rude to kick them out when they were there first. So the sitcom would follow their shenanigans together as a dysfuntional human demon household.

I ended up getting attached to the characters, so I started developing them more.

There's three demons, or well, there was but I retconed one of them(a firey demon with anger issues) but I might bring them back again(perhaps as a firey hellhound?).

Occealrei is a demon of the fallen angel variety(but Gidget doesn't find out till later) who's generally distinterested in everyone and everything. She kind of just looms around the house quietly and answers questions with curt one words or not at all.

And then there's an imp who is currently being renamed. They try and fail to boss everyone else in the house around. They also complain a lot. I still need to define their personality a little better.

And then maaaaaybe there's gonna be a hellhound with anger issues but idk.

Also Occ and Gidget are gonna eventually become a couple.

Also also, they're gonna at some point get some rude neighbors that turn out to be angels and that's perhaps maybe maybe not how Gidget discovers Occ used to be an angel.

There's also this big overarching world side plot about god quitting over a thousand years ago and the new guy in charge is a super judgey asshole who's very picky about who gets into heaven due to having been mistakingly sent to hell when he died. He's inspired by Charlie's Inferno.

I also don't know what format I want to make the series in. It's either gonna be comics or writing in script format. Maybe a podcast? Nah...

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Cyberpunk Supernatural

^Ok definitly a placeholder name right here. Once again, I had to tag this as SOMETHING.

This one was just a random idea I had and then started to get kinda really attached to? It started as a daydream I had while listening to Sweet Thing by Nick Leng. I kinda just kept thinking about a werewolf in a trenchcoat solemnly looking out over a dystopian city.

I ended up just being like "I want to make a fantasy world but set in a cyberpunk destopian setting with lots of ANGST!!" so here we are now.

Fantasy is also kind of the wrong word it's more supernatural creatures than fantasy ones.

There's vampires, werewolves, and also maybe zombies and ghosts but I'm unsure at the moment. There's also fae and mermaids but fae are super reclusive and exist in a society seperate from everyone else and the mermaids are all extinct due to ocean pollution. The fact that mermaids went extinct and humans don't seem to care doesn't help with the tensions already brewing between humankind and the other races.

Demons and angels also exist but only in the sense that aliens do in ours. Meaning that some people believe they exist and it's very possible they do but there's no solid proof yet and sightings are zero to none.

No one in this story has names right now.

Yeah.

So everyone in this story is refered to as code names right now cuz I drag my feet naming things.

We got: Werewolf, Vampire, Human, and Werefox

They all live in a very crappy apartment and can barely afford even that cuz this cyberpunk city is a cost of living nightmare.

So Werewolf is an older werewolf in her late thirties to early forties who wears her signature trenchcoat and also has a huge old scar starting from her jaw and trailing down her neck and onto her chest. She's the breadwinner of her little family. She barely scrapes by on rent and food by fighting in a local underground fighting ring for werewolves. These rings are "affectionetally" named "dog fights". The rest of the group constantly worries about her when she leaves for "work" and they fear one day she'll leave and never come back. But they also understand that she's the one keeping them afloat financially. Plus Werewolf doesn't really have a choice since stigma about werewolf agression keeps her from getting a job with better pay. Same thing with vampires. Werewolf would do anything to keep her found family sheltered and safe though so she has no problem beating the shit out of other werewolves in the ring to support them.

Vampire has no other character right now besides being sassy and difficult at the moment. He does care about his family but is really bad at showing it in a postive way. His relationship with Werewolf is the most strained out of everyone. Sometimes he can't really see things beyond the very short term.

Werefox is a subspecies of the werewolf and her kind is often seen as a weaker version of them. They arguably get treated the worst out of all the nonhuman races. Also because werefoxes are a rather recent species, they are seen as exotic in some circles and Werefox may or may not have been kept in captivity by somone in the first class district of the city. She still has faint discoloring around her neck in both her human and fox form from the collar and she's pretty sensitive about it.

Human is like the baby of the family. They are the youngest and were kicked out and ostrasized by their biological family for being different. The others take very good care of them though and are a way better family than their biological one ever was. Both them and Werefox are the most optimistic of the family.

Only plot it got for this one is that it starts around when Werewolf gets a new "job offer" from a vampire crimeboss to be a bodygaurd and she takes is only because he offers to pay her more than she's earning from the ring. He also offers her and her family better housing in his base of opperations but Werewolf declines. Mostly due to observing the humans at the HQ, which are definitly not there of their own choice cuz vampire opperated human trafficking for reasons concerning blood supply is a thing and not trusting her fellow tenants to leave Human alone. Oh also when Vampire finds out they could've gotten comfier living flats he's PISSED cuz he hates their cramped apartment and makes a big stink about Werewolf's decision so yayyyy conflict.

Werewolf also lands herself dead smack in the middle of the human and vampire tension since the crime boss absolutely despises humankind.

Also theres a whole other sideplot kinda involving a curious fae who goes wandering outside the pocket dimension(s) their kind lives in and ends up trusting the wrong people and getting trafficked in the black market for nonhumans.

They're ok though cuz human activists break into the warehouse where Fae is being held along with other trafficked nonhumans and free all of them. Fae is very traumatized by the events though and it takes them a while to warm up to the human that saved them. Also something happens where the human is forced to flee the activists's home base with Fae and go on the run.

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Little FELA

^^Might be the official name probably

So this one is inspired by this text post

It's about a robot with feelings becuase I will never get tired of that trope, an AI gone rouge, and a sentient virus.

Each of their personalities are inspired by each of the bots from the post above.

FELA,

F.E.L.A.,

Friendly

Enhanced

Livlyhood

Aid,

Is a robot created to be a home companion for stuff like housekeeping, being a nanny to kids, etc. She is very friendly and polite and also very naive. She gains a passion for jokes and even replaces of the caretaking information in her hardrive with her growing collection of them. They are her most precious possession.

Hitchhiking in her software, is an AI and Virus that I don't have names for yet.

The AI hates humanity for reasons I'm still figuring out and wants to use FELA as a vessel to acheive its goal that I also haven't decided on yet but it invovles world domination and the eradication of the human race. (YES I KNOW IT SOUNDS LIKE THE MITCHELLS VS THE MACHINES but I came up with this before that came out honest. Also by sheercoincidence FELA used to be named PAL)

The virus doesn't really know what they want. They just suddenly gained sentience and are very confused but they mask the confusion with a hostile defensive attitude in the form of extremly unprofessional language. The AI scolds them about it a lot.

Even though the AI is more polite and uses much more proper langauge, its actually really mean and way meaner than the virus is.

Both AI and virus are able to take control of FELA's robotic body. FELA doesn't like it when they do this but she's a bit of a pushover. Doesn't really matter if she's a pushover or not about it though because the AI has a far more superior processing power and could overpower her control reguardless of if FELA fights back or not.

The virus grows a liking to FELA due to how nice she treats them and actually has FELA's best interest in mind when they take control. They are kind of rash at times but I'd like to think they learn to ask permission before taking the wheel.

The AI on the other hand views FELA as merely a tool and a building block towards it's goals and is also very mean about it. The virus doesn't like this very much. Idk what I want the virus to necessarily function as, I was thinking a DOS virus but idk yet.

Also FELA's eyes change color depending on who's in control of her body. When she's in control, here eyes are a blueish green.

I know I want the two other eye colors to be Orange and Purple but I can't decide if I want the AI to be purple or orange.

Also idk what direction I'm gonna take the plot in. I kinda want to have a spinoff story based on the bad ending where the AI takes over the world and that's maybe where I'd use that super soldier character I started to make.

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Bad Luck

^^Don't really know if this is a placeholder or not?

This is an old concept I felt like reviving. It's still on the wayyyyy back burner though cuz idk wtf to do with it.

Not much about this one though.

I came up with it cuz an artist I follow was talking about how dragons are portrayed as cute too much in media and she thinks we need more media where they are big and terrifying so I thought why not make them boarderline zombies too?

So for some reason, the world is plunged into an apocalypse infested with viscious dragons that eat people and a woman named Karma is determined to singlehandedly end the apocalypse or die trying and take down as many of the dragons as she can with her. She ends up meeting a member of a race of luck dragons who were also victims of the infestation of dragons and so they end up teaming up but plottwist! The luck dragon is bad luck! Also his name is Murph which is short for Murphy elluding to Murphy's Law.

I might end up reworking this whole thing though. Idk yet.

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But yeah that's it for the moment! Sorry if any of the explanations are confusing I'm tired and this has been open in my tabs for well over two weeks :P

0 notes

writing-in-april · 3 years

Text

Guest Lecturer

Spencer Reid x Female Reader

Summary: Reader gets Spencer riled up during class while he’s guest lecturing.

A/N: This is my 6th fic for my 750 follower celebration! This one kind of got away from me and I’ve been second guessing what I wrote all day lmao- I also imagine this as like season 9/10 Spencer. Thank you again to @spencers-dria who listens to all my rants about my writing AND gave me this idea. She’s amazing, everyone should go check out her fics.

Warnings: 18+, Established FWB relationship, Teasing in public, Spencer gets an untimely boner, Oral sex (M receiving), Unprotected sex, Degradation, Creampie

Main Masterlist Word count: 1.6k

“One of the earliest modern theories about criminology stated that criminals couldn’t help it—they were simply born that way. Cesare Lombroso came up with the theory, which he called “The Criminal Man,” in the late 19th century. Lombroso’s theory helped to unify criminal traits and identification (while also perhaps not paying enough attention to upbringing and environment as criminal factors).”

Whenever I invited Spencer to guest lecture in the criminology course I taught I got even more excited to do my job. The way he delivered every lecture sucked me in immediately, my full attention completely on him.

Today however, was different. The lecture I had invited him to do on the early history of the subject was material I had heard millions of times before as an educator. My mind was wandering more than usual and it had specifically wandered to observing how good Dr. Reid looked today. The two of us weren’t officially together, but all the late nights we both spent at each other’s apartments were not just to ‘hang out’.

I decided to tease him a little, to put my distracted mind to good use, after all he did something similar last week. I was sitting in the back of the relatively small lecture hall, but I knew of ways I could get Spencer’s eyes on me within an instant.

He was rambling on about the flaws in early criminology theories when I started to unbutton and shuck off my blazer. It was an innocent act that any wandering eyes of my students would not question, but the way I purposefully slightly traced over the edges of my bra was sure to get Spencer’s attention.

“S-sorrry class, I lost my train of thought.” I smirked as he stumbled over his words, he was so easy. He picked the lecture back up swiftly after that, though perhaps he was rambling a bit faster than before.

I was unsatisfied, so I continued on in my pursuit to make Spencer blush. I made a show of how I started to unbutton my blouse, but only the first two, I wasn’t trying to get fired here. The top two buttons, however small, served their purpose. When unbuttoned, they showed just enough of my chest that Spencer again started stuttering. My students were rather used to his stuttering, he’d often get talking so fast that he’d trip over his words and have to start the sentence over again. Knowing that in this case, his stuttering was for a different reason made my panties start to dampen.

My final tease towards the end of the lecture was to show him how turned on I was just from teasing him. I looked to make sure none of my students were just as distracted as I was and had wandering eyes before enacting the final stage of my revenge. I shifted to the side in my seat so my legs were facing halfway into the aisle, then uncrossing them which gave Spencer a good look at my panties. Maybe he would also be able to see the wet spot that had already begun to form, I was so glad I wore a skirt today.

His cheeks were starting to flush a deep red as he tried to casually shuffle behind the podium on the other side of the small stage where he finished the last bit of his lecture. I had no doubt he moved there in an attempt to hide his tightening slacks. I smirked again, mission accomplished.

After the end of his lecture I made my way up to the stage and dispersed my students. Once they had all asked their lingering questions to me and Spencer I turned to him and asked coyly, “Could we go talk in my office, Spencer?”

—-

“Sit down.” I commanded and motioned to my desk chair at the other side of the office. Spencer immediately followed my command, sitting down obediently on the chair with his hands laced together in front of him. “Why were you so distracted today Spencer?”

The flush that had been present earlier returned to his cheeks at my words before he started to stutter out, “You were t-teasing me during the lecture, I just wasn’t expecting it.”

“Well- you teased me last week did you not? After all, who was the poet that said- All is fair in love and war?” I asked while making my way to stand tall over where he was sitting in my chair.

“John Lyly.” He did not stutter this time when he answered my question, but the end of it rose in pitch when I started to get down on my knees. I may have been the one getting down on my knees, but there was no doubt who was the one in charge, me.

“You alright with me being a little rougher with my words today Spencer?” We had talked about rougher degradation before, he had even used harsh words on me before, though I still wanted to make sure that he was ok with it. Once he gave me the go ahead I only had one more thing to say to him before. Got started, “And, make sure to be quiet. We wouldn’t want anyone to hear how loud you are for me, would we?”

He nodded fast at my command, already so desperate for me to get started. I pulled his belt out of the loops then swiftly pulling down his pants and boxers, revealing his hard length to me. I kissed my way up his length, following the already throbbing vein that ran up the side before taking him into my mouth. His hands pulled into fists as I started to bob my head vigorously, also making sure to hollow my cheeks. I then batted his hand away when it involuntarily came to rest on my hand, then grabbed both of his hands to hold them down on the seat of the chair. Then, while holding him down partially I took him as far down my throat as possible, slightly gagging on him. His hips squirmed a little and when I looked up through my lashes I could see him biting down hard on his bottom lip to contain his moans. My own wetness was making me just as desperate as him, I pulled off of him so I could have us both indulge. His hips jerked desperately towards my mouth searching out his release he so desperately wanted. At least he was silently complaining and didn’t break my no noises rule. I spoke with a bite in my tone as I stripped out of my own clothes, “Don’t complain, despite being a desperate little thing you have been good so far, I was going to let you cum inside.” I hovered my dripping pussy over his length, I needed an apology from him before I was to indulge myself.

“I’m sorry…” He whimpered. “Please, let me have you?”

“Since you seem so sorry I’ll let it slide.” I scoffed a little before allowing myself to sink down onto his length. I had to bite my own lip hard as I felt all the ridges of his cock while I slowly sunk down on him, he always filled me so perfectly. As I started to move on top of him slowly I reveled in the way he tried to move underneath me, but the way I sat above him in the desk chair had his hips pinned firmly down.

“What do you think everyone would say if they saw you underneath me? What would they say when they found out that their guest lecturer is such a little whore for their professor?” He mewled loudly at my degrading words, so loudly that I had to clamp your hand over his mouth. “I told you to be quiet, I guess since you’re incapable of following my directions all the way through, I’ll just have to keep my hand here.”

He mewled underneath my hand, not stopping himself from holding back his noises now that my hand was muffling them. I could tell he was getting close, so I sped up the rolling of my hips and increased how harshly I bounced on top of him.

“Cum with me.” I ordered just as I could feel my orgasm beginning to overtake me. Spencer happily took my orders, it only took two more thrusts for him to come apart. He greedily grabbed my hips and slammed me down all the way down onto his length, spilling himself as deep inside me as he could. I would’ve normally chastised him for his greediness, but I was too distracted by the devastating orgasm I was riding out to really care.

After we both rode out our highs I let Spencer bask in the warmth of me for a few minutes before I got up to dole out the aftercare. Aftercare was arguably my favorite part of being with Spencer. I enjoyed my post coital conversations with him immensely and he was also the best at cuddling.

“Do you think your students suspected anything?” The worry in his voice was evident as I cleaned up the evidence of our excursion.

“No I don't think so, and even if they did they wouldn’t say anything, we didn’t do anything that would get me fired.” I hummed and sat down on Spencer’s lap, enveloping him in my warmth. I ran my fingers through his hair loving the way his curls felt through my fingers, I was so glad I didn’t have any more classes I had to teach today. I spoke again, with a little more affection in my tone compared to our normal post coital bliss conversations,“You are my favorite guest lecturer.”

“I’m your favorite guest lecturer?”

I snickered a little bit before answering,“Did I never tell you? You’re actually my only one.”

—-

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karlnapity · 3 years

Text

Heaven and Hell Were Words to Me

AO3 link

TWs: violence, manipulation

Now, Michael knows when things aren’t his business. He knows when things should be left to the past, when he shouldn’t pry.

And he doesn’t, not for the most part. He lets things happen around him, sticks to the side. He’s seen his fair share of chaos, had his part in it.

He doesn’t know what’s happening with the prison. He doesn’t dare ask.

But god, is it interesting. Something about it pricks his interest, makes him pay attention when it’s brought up. He doesn’t know if it’s the mystery, his lack of knowledge, a want to belong to something of the server. He tries not to pry, he really does, but sue him if he asks an extra question here or there.

After all, he’s a neutral party.

(He’s not. There’s an evergrowing feeling of dissent… it starts with the fact that there wasn’t a trial, then the fact that he has only a number of guards, and it grows and grows, but he doesn’t dare say anything.)

There’s a certain sort of discomfort when you’re the only one on the server. It’s so very quiet. Every time he mines a block, drops a tool, it feels so loud, so stressful.

It’s a strange feeling, a little shiver on the back of his next as he wanders through the usually vibrant server.

It feels wrong.

[Dream joined the game]

The uncomfortable feeling grows. He shakes it off. He can’t deny the way his interest peaks, but there’s no use wondering.

[Dream] michael come break me out omg

Oh.

He can’t deny it’s slightly tempting.

...Okay. Pretty tempting.

Before he even really knows what he’s doing, he’s already slotting his pickaxe into his inventory, already pulling out his trident to jump in the water outside.

He’s not quite sure what possesses him, what drives him into the frenzy that carries him to the side of the prison, what drives him to throw his pickaxe against the wall despite the pressing ache of the mining fatigue.

There’s just the absolute, overwhelming need to <i>get him out</i>.

There are ever-present messages in the corner of his eye, and it only encourages him further.

His heart is beating in his ears. This is risky. This is stupid. This is what he needs to do.

He only gets so far.

[Awesamdude joined the game]

His blood runs cold. He gasps at the way his heart drops. The voice starts behind him.

“Michael. You don’t understand what you’re doing.” It’s not a question. It’s a threat.

He’s stammering something, desperately trying to think of something a little less insane than I was trying to break the only jailed criminal on this server out because he asked me to even as his brain shouts get him out get him out get him out now and then there’s a hot burning down his back.

He gasps in pain, stumbling forward. He turns just in time to see Sam raise his sword for another slash, cries out and backs away.

He’s whimpering something like please please please no as the message jumps into the bottom of his vision.

[Dream] He understands he’s just an idiot

[Dream] Kill him

Michael sobs, in pain and confused and so so scared. He blubbers something like he asked me to, please don’t, he told me to as if that would make it better, and Sam’s gaze shifts into something like disgust.

“I will not be this nice next time.”

And with that, he leaves the game.

Michael hauls himself to his feet, whimpering as it exacerbates the slash up his spine, and vaguely resists sending a why did you say that why I thought you wanted me to help why would you do that to me message.

He can’t. And he needs to leave anyways.

The climb out of the prison is painful. He didn’t make it to leave without another person He has to stop, a few times, just to make sure he doesn’t bleed out. He doesn’t have any healing pots. There’s no choice but to wait to heal on his own, or beg someone else.

He tells himself he’s lucky to have not lost a life. Every passing second a small, vindictive part of his brain resists that notion. It hurts so much.

He lays flat on the prison roof, legs still over the edge of the hole he used to climb in and out.

He’s probably just lost a lot of blood, but he plots a next break-in plan anyways.

He keeps checking for another message from Dream.

God. He’s either delirious or insane.

He rolls over and pushes himself to his feet again, already bracing for the drop off the edge. He instead stumbles and throws up what’s probably all of this week’s and last’s meals. Ow.

He’s just gotten down when he’s intercepted. He’s practically gasping for breaths now. He doesn’t want to know what kind of blood trail he’s left. He avoids looking to see how many hearts he has left.

“Holy shit, Michael, are you okay?” The voice is loud in his ears and it leaves his head pounding.

He opens his mouth, mutters something about I’m fine and a don’t worry about me, but he’s not quite sure what it is he says.

His eyes are having a hard time focusing, the ground pulsing and spinning around him. He’s having a real hard time thinking.

All of a sudden there are dots dancing in his vision. He turns to whoever is talking. He’s pretty sure he’s said I’m going to pass out if he’s lucky.

He falls. There’s a faint shout.

He comes to on a bed. It’s way nicer than his own.

He’s lying on his stomach. He hisses in pain. His back hurts. He’s almost at half health. At least it’s better than before.

He takes his time getting up and shrugs on the sweater left on the end of the bed. It’s painful to move, but he manages to get out the door.

This is Las Nevadas.

He had a suspicion the minute he woke, but this only confirms it. It’s only a simple house, but the glitz and glamor still make their appearance. He turns to examine it better.

“Like it?” He turns so fast it makes him dizzy. Quackity grins.

“Here, you look like you’re about to fall over. Come here.” Quackity takes his arm and leads him into the next room, seats him at a table.

“So, dude, what happened?” Quackity asks, and there’s actual concern there.

That’s interesting. They’ve hardly talked, after all.

He doesn’t want to say it. Quackity will try to stop him, just like everyone else.

“Sam was a bit angry with me,” he settles on.

Quackity frowns. “Sam? I know he’s been a bit short-tempered lately, but… did you do anything? That could’ve upset him?”

Michael sighs. He knows he’s not getting anywhere without actually saying it, and Sam will probably tell Quackity anyways. Better to get it out now.

“I maybe… kinda… triedtobreakintotheprison?” He runs his words all together, forcing them out as fast as possible.

Quackity freezes from where he’s turned to put on the kettle. “You… what?”

“Tried to break Dream out,” he mutters.

“Michael… why the fuck would you do that?” He demands, whirling around. He slams his hands on the table. His face is twisted into an anger Michael doesn’t think he’s seen before.

“He asked me to,” he says softly, as though he hadn’t already been thinking about it. “He sounded so sad. And he said he’d do anything, he was begging.”

He’s probably making his case worse, but it’s the truth. His heart hurts at the thought of Dream still stuck in there. He hopes Sam doesn’t do anything.

Quackity takes a long, deep breath and sits again. He takes Michael’s hands.

“Look, Michael.” Michael does. Quackity’s face is full of something like pity that he doesn’t understand. It unsettles him. “Do you know why he’s in the prison?”

He shakes his head. There’s a pit growing in his stomach.

“He.. he hurt all of us. He was our friend at one point, but something went wrong, I guess. But the main reason why he’s in there? Why he doesn’t have the right to go free like us? Manipulation, Michael.”

He doesn’t want to hear this.

“He was manipulating you. He wants out, and you’re the right person for it. Because you weren’t there to see what he did.

“He deserves whatever he gets, okay? Don’t feel bad. You don’t need to get in trouble with Sam for someone like that.”

It feels like a betrayal. He wants to slam his hands over his ears, barely resists. He wants to cry.

“He told Sam to kill me,” he whispers, and nearly clamps his hands over his mouth.

He didn’t just say that. He shouldn’t have. He doesn’t want Quackity to think of Dream any worse, why did he say that, if Dream knew he’d feel so betrayed, why did he-

Quackity rubs his shoulder in sympathy. “He’s evil. Sam wouldn’t do that.”

He doesn’t sound like he believes it himself.

He claps his hands together. “Look, Michael. I’m sorry this happened. I gave you some pots and you should be okay to go, there’s just some residual pain and stuff. There will be a scar, and I’m sorry for that. I’d recommend not going anywhere near the prison for a bit, Sam will have a conniption. And I’m sorry Dream did that to you. I promise it won’t happen again.”

Michael shivers. He doesn’t like the sound of that.

“I don’t want him to suffer,” he starts. “It’s okay, really-”

“Don’t worry about it,” Quackity continues smoothly, clapping him on the back. The way it only barely misses his wound feels almost intentional.

The air in the room feels oppressive.

“I have to go,” he says suddenly, rushing back to his room to grab what’s left of his things. Some of them are missing. Quackity’s shadow behind him no longer feels comforting.

He wanders, after that. Things feel so much emptier than before, even if nothing has changed. His brain isn’t together enough to get back to work, and he’s not sure if it’s residual effects of blood loss or something else.

“Hey, Michael!” He turns for the source of the voice. He smiles. Puffy.

“Hey.”

She runs up to him and sets a hand on his arm. Her face is pinched. “Are you okay?”

He shrugs then resists a wince at the way it pulls at his wound. “Yeah, why?”

She gestures up and down at him. “You’re kind of… bloodstained? You look like shit, sorry.”

“Oh.” Something tugs at him, a sort of contentedness at being noticed. “Yeah, you know, just got kinda. Lightly stabbed.”

She frowns and pulls him with her. “Come here, let’s get you cleaned up.”

As she sits him down at his second table for the day, he muses that there’s something about Quackity stopping the bleeding but leaving him blood-covered. There’s something there he’s not smart enough to dissect.

She dampens a cloth and runs it over his face, his arms, hands him one of her sweaters. She gasps when he turns to take off his own.

“Holy shit, Michael, what happened?” He doesn’t give her a chance to get a good look.

“It’s not important,” he mumbles. He sits and she resumes cleaning off his hands.

And that’s when he gets the message.

[Dream] are you ok

He gasps.

“Shit, Michael, you okay?” Puffy asks, incorrectly assuming she’s hurt him. He doesn’t respond.

[Dream] i hope sam didnt hurt you

[Dream] ily

He feels tears. Puffy, now thoroughly confused, sits next to him and rubs his shoulder while he cries.

“Can you tell me what’s going on?” She asks. “Because I would really like to know why someone stabbed you. Are you safe?”

Is he? Does it matter? He has to go back to the prison anyways.

[Dream] do you know when you can try again

He sighs, runs his hands over his face. “I’ve gotta go, Puffy, thanks.”

She grabs his hand, flicks off some more dried blood- how much did he lose, god- and frowns. “At least let me finish here.”

“No, but thank you.”

“Michael?”

He stops.

“My office is open whenever you need it, okay?”

He nods, even if it isn’t.

If she knew what he was going to do, she wouldn’t be this nice. It should sting a bit more than it does.

He stares at the messages. Dream has sent five more, throughout the course of the day, keeps asking.

He thinks of what Quackity said.

Dream can’t be manipulating him.

He can’t.

No one on this goddamn server gave him the fucking time of day until he got injured. Until he was visibly suffering.

Except Dream. Dream reached out to him, is nice to him, cares for him.

He needs to get him out. Michael is so excited to see him.

He piles up the blocks from the prison in his house. It’s a sign. A promise.

[MichaelMcChill] soon

[Dream] my hero

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dracothedeatheatingcupcake-ao3 · 3 years

Text

Another Life

Hi guys!! So, I mentioned in the last chapter of TPWP that I had a short-ish one shot about IshiMondo following Mondo murdering Chihiro in the canon universe. I will warn y’all that this... this is a sad fic. If I were posting this on AO3 (which I will, eventually, I think) there would be the Major Character Death warning, so... yeah.

Anyway. I just wanted to say something real quick before getting onto the fic. Feel free to skip if you don’t care. But y’all will realize as you read that this is not really my usual style of writing. I tend to prefer to be big on the details and emotion, since that sort of thing is what interests me most. This story, though, is more... barebones. I’m telling more than showing, and there is one main reason for this. This fic... it’s sad, but if I wrote in my usual style, it would be devastating. For me, at least. I got the idea for this fic months ago, maybe even before TPWP, just a quick “I wonder what an interaction between Mondo and Taka would be like after Mondo killed Chihiro would be like.”

I immediately dismissed the idea once I went down the path and realized how sad it would be, though. I love writing angst, right? I don’t think I’ve ever written a single story without some measure of angst or sadness. It’s just... what I do, ya know? But the one thing I cannot stand is hopelessness. It’s why I don’t like Danganronpa much, since it’s such a hopeless story, even if some of the students get out. It’s hopeless, and more than that, it’s pointless. The death and all that. There’s no reason for it at all, and I just... I hate stories like that, with no hope of a true happy ending. And this idea... it ends kind of hopelessly. I hate that sort of thing.

But I couldn’t stop thinking of this story. It kept coming back, again and again, and eventually... I caved and knew I had to do something. So I wrote this. I swear, it was supposed to be short! Just 1,000-2,000 words that explained the idea, to get it off my mind. I’d have posted it here and been like “hey guys, see this weird idea I had??? Man, wouldn’t it be crazy if I wrote this???” But then! I started putting more details in, like I always do. And then dialogue showed up. And by the time I finished my first writing session and went off to work, sending the story from my phone to my computer to check the word count, I had written over 6,000 words. And I wasn’t even done. Only then did I realize... this was a fic, dear god. Not my usual kind of fic, but... a fic nonetheless. I finished writing it then, and then went back to add some more detail to the first 6,000 words to make it at least a little like a fic.

Now, I know this was a long explanation, but I just... I’m anxious about this fic. It’s been on my mind for ages and I don’t know if I like the style. I oddly think it fits the story, though, given how messed up Mondo would be after what he did, so there is that. But I just... if y’all could please let me know what you think, I would appreciate it. I do plan on posting this to AO3 and FF . net eventually, but having feedback would help, if y’all wouldn’t mind. If y’all like this style of writing... I may be able to get more ideas out without taking months to write the whole thing. It doesn’t preclude me from writing full fics eventually, but it allows me to get more ideas out. So just... let me know, yeah?

Anyway! Here’s the fic! The main warning is that there is a major character death, since this, ya know... follows canon. It follows Mondo’s POV, and there is very mild sexual content. More referenced than truly shown, but it is there.

Enjoy!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Another Life

Summary: Mondo finds himself outside of Taka’s room following the events in the boy’s changing room, his head a mess and heart even worse. While he knows he doesn’t deserve it, he finds comfort in Taka’s arms anyway.

Mondo finds himself leaving the exercise slash changing room in a daze, his body having rearranged the furniture to respect- respect Chihiro and his gender on autopilot, his head a complete mess and feeling so incredibly sick. He has always hated himself, more so after what happened with his brother, but he is positive he has never hated himself more than he currently does, the phantom sensation of bright pink blood staining his hands lingering, even though he has scrubbed them clean a dozen times.

In his distraction, he finds himself meandering through the halls without any real idea of what he’s doing, where he’s going, his brain not quite registering what he’d done, his mind wanting to reject it even as he knows he’d done it. While he has always hated himself and his tendency for violence and anger, he’d once never seen himself as the kind of person who could murder anyone, especially not someone smaller and weaker than him. Not even when he was at his angriest and wanted to hurt someone desperately. And he doesn’t know how to handle the reality of what he just did.

While walking aimlessly, he realizes that he somehow has found himself back in the dorm hallway, stomach clenched and angry, wanting to throw up but doing all he can to not do so. He tries to force his feet to walk over to where his dorm room is, but finds his legs won’t let him, his mind warring with his body. He is exhausted, has never felt so tired, but he doesn’t know if he can stay in that room by himself all night long. He... he truly doesn’t.

It takes him a minute, but he eventually realizes that he’s been standing outside Taka’s room for several long minutes, just staring at the little depiction of the kid on the door, staring like his life depends on it. For the first time since- since, he... he feels something. Anything. He has no idea what that something is, but... but...

Before he can tell himself not to, his hand is rising and ringing the doorbell, once, twice, three times, before falling back to his side dully, hating himself somehow even more for likely waking Taka, but not knowing what else to do. What even is he supposed to do, now? After... after...

A few moments pass and Mondo is just about to bail and leave Taka alone, forever, when the door opens, a sleepy but still overly concerned looking Taka standing there, taking Mondo’s breath away. The kid is wearing his sleep clothes, a white and ragged undershirt and a pair of white briefs, nothing else. Mondo has seen Taka naked before, since Taka had insisted that they ‘bare themselves to each other’ a few days before, but somehow... somehow this seems even more intimate. Seeing Taka wearing so few clothes, all sleep warm and scraggly haired, and… and…

He gets jolted from his thoughts when Taka hesitantly and yet still earnestly asks if he’s alright, inviting him inside without a single thought, not a single care for his own safety or- or anything.

For some reason, that angers Mondo greatly. And while he does find himself entering the room, his legs forcing him forward despite himself, he can’t help but yell at Taka, his frustration at all of it coming out. He snarls at the kid, low and angry, asking him why the hell he would ever open his door for anyone during this stupid ‘game,’ let alone let them into his room in the middle of the night, his fear and frustration coming out in a way he doesn’t want, doesn’t want at all.

Rather than get angry, though, Taka just stares at Mondo with wide eyes as he rants, and when Mondo is finally done, his exhaustion overcoming him again, Taka... Taka calmly and confusedly replies that he only opened the door because he could see through the peephole that it was Mondo, saying quite earnestly that he trusts Mondo completely and knows he has nothing to fear from him. His guileless and innocent words make Mondo feel disgusting, the reality of what he’d just done hitting him, and he finds himself getting angry again despite how tired he is.

He yells at Taka again, then, words that he doesn’t even register but that just burst out anyway, all his anger and frustration releasing from him as he rants. Taka just lets him, a small frown on his face, but when Mondo starts saying that he is a monster and only a goddamn, fuckin’ monster, Christ, Taka apparently has enough and marches over to Mondo, ignoring the deadly (and scared) glare that Mondo gives him in warning. And then... then, Taka places his hands on Mondo’s shoulders, looking him straight in the eye, a small and yet encouraging smile on his lips as his eyes sparkle with enthusiasm and trust, destroying Mondo entirely. Fuck...

“That is untrue, kyoudai! I used to think you were only a criminal and a no-good biker, but I have seen the best of you this last week and I know that you are more than that! So much more! You are kind, and caring, and gentle, and very, very good! I know I have nothing to fear from you, kyoudai, no matter what! I understand you have self-esteem issues, my dearest kyoudai, but you needn’t worry! I trust you and always will! I promise! A man’s promise!”

The words utterly destroy Mondo, his insides clenching and breaking and hurting, and he wants to cry but he knows he can’t, he doesn’t have the right, not after what he had done. But he can’t help the way his stomach lurches at the earnest look Taka gives him, his heart beating fast, and he knows exactly what it is he feels for Taka. Has known from the moment he set eyes on him in the main hall, so much at odds considering their respective talents, but it was so clear to him even despite that. He never has felt anything like this for anyone, certainly not so soon after meeting them, but... but he does. He most definitely, truly does.

At the time, he had even had an absent thought of how Taka just seemed so familiar to him. How— even though he knows they’d never met before; he’d most certainly remember a person like Taka— it was like he knew him intimately somehow. He’d tried pushing it away, especially considering the twisted game they were being forced to play, but he’d never been able to fully push the feeling inside him away. And when they’d had their sauna battle and became kyoudai, he knew he couldn’t deny how he felt for Taka any longer, even though it had only been a couple of short, stressful weeks that they’d ‘known’ each other.

But... as stressed out and scared and terrified as Mondo currently feels, he can’t help the desire that rises inside him, looking into Taka’s wide and trusting eyes. Part of Mondo wants to destroy that trust, to break Taka and prove to him that Mondo is just a monster that doesn’t deserve anything good, but he finds he just can’t, the thought of it breaking him more than he’s ever been broken before. And when he sees Taka’s eyes dart down to his lips after several long minutes of staring into one another’s eyes, Taka’s lips parting on a shaky breath... Mondo’s slim hold on himself breaks.

Leaning forward, Mondo kisses Taka angrily, firmly, somehow finding a way to hate himself even more for doing such a thing when he sure as hell does not deserve it, not after what he did. And yet, despite his anger, and self-hatred, and pain, pain, pain, he quickly finds himself softening the kiss, since— even with how angry and scared he is— he doesn’t want to hurt Taka. Not now. Not ever.

Taka doesn’t kiss back, though, not even after several long, long moments. It’s just as Mondo is pulling back, heart pounding and breaking and aching, thinking he’s ruined everything and that Taka will finally see how much of a monster he is, will hate him, fuck, Taka...

Taka lets out a soft noise, the sound not at all something Mondo can decipher, before he kisses back. Messy, and clumsy, and clearly inexperienced, but Mondo sure as hell doesn’t care. Not one single, goddamn bit. Not when Taka is as enthusiastic and passionate as ever, his lack of experience getting more than made up for by his enthusiasm and passion.

Mondo finds himself walking Taka backwards, Taka following willingly, trustingly, until Taka’s back is pressed against the wall, Mondo kissing him like his life depends on it. And, in a way, he thinks desperately that it does. It truly, truly does.

Because he knows. Right? What’s going to happen in the morning. That someone will find the body and a goddamn trial will begin, and while Mondo had done all he could to cover his tracks, he knows he’s not the smartest person and that there are likely so many fucking things he missed that a smarter and more capable person would have noticed. And he knows that... that if they don’t, that if no one notices and they accuse wrong and Mondo doesn’t get- get executed, then... then the whole class will. And that includes... includes...

Taka pulls back from the kiss first, and Mondo is terrified that it’s because he somehow knows what Mondo did and that he’s disgusted by him, that he hates him, oh god. But before he can utter anything, any apologies he doesn’t deserve or sorrow he shouldn’t be allowed to feel, he feels Taka’s hand gently touch his cheek, wiping away the tears that he hadn’t felt begin to fall. Taka is looking at him with such gentle concern that it breaks him again, and he wants to destroy everything, wants to scream, and rage, and cry, but Taka is talking before he can, and Mondo can do nothing more than listen, desperate and aching.

“Mondo... it’s okay, kyoudai, really! Do not cry, I... I wanted to do that. Very, very much! ... I do not know how to explain it, but from the moment I met you, I knew there was more to you than meets the eye. I... I have felt, er... things for you since that very moment! Things I’ve never... never felt for anyone else... aha. B-but please, kyoudai, do not cry! It... it’s okay, Mondo. I promise. I guarantee it! We will get out of here, you’ll see! No one would ever actually kill over something as silly as a secret, and then that darn bear will see that we will never do as he asks, and then we will be free! All of us, kyoudai. N-no one else will die and then we... w-we can be together! If you... i-if you would want that, a-aha...”

Mondo feels broken again at Taka’s enthusiastic words, despising himself as he sees how earnestly Taka believes this, even still, even after having learned that one classmate had tried to kill the other, only to get killed herself. Even after being forced to watch as another classmate got pummeled to death by baseballs, and another skewered by spears.

Mondo has a moment to despair for Taka and his trusting nature, and he wants so badly to yell. To scream at Taka and ask him what the hell his problem is, ask him why he is being so delusional, but he finds that he... he just can’t. And as he looks deeper into Taka’s eyes, as he looks closer than he’s ever looked into anyone before, he... he sees that Taka isn’t entirely being truthful. He can see the fear that is swirling within him, can see the lie that is in his words, even if Taka doesn’t allow himself to see it.

And he realizes... he realizes that, while Taka may be naive, may be trusting… he does know what is happening, in some regard. But... but he is doing all he can to pretend that it’s okay. That this will all end up okay. This is just- just his way of coping, telling himself lies that it will be okay, even though part of him knows that it won’t. Knows that... that there is a very real possibility that he will just... die here.

A reality that Mondo suddenly knows will happen to himself come morning.

Because... because, if he doesn’t get found out... if he doesn’t get accused properly by the class, if the trial goes in his favor... then Taka will die, Taka and the rest of their class, and that idea is suddenly so wrong to Mondo. That... that Mondo should survive at the expense of their class. At the expense of Taka. He...

He doesn’t know. If he’d be able to confess himself, be an active participant in his own death. While he’s always tried so hard to be strong and brave, he’s plagued by the truth that he’s not, not really. Not at all. But he knows he can’t let Taka die because of his mistake. His murder. And in that moment... he knows. No matter what, he will die the next day. That day, really, it’s so late. As he looks into Taka’s eyes, seeing the hidden fear that lurks within them, the terror and anguish the boy tries so hard to hide... he knows.

And he knows that he doesn’t want to die without knowing what Taka feels like. God...

Surging forward, Mondo kisses Taka again, desperate and needy and full of pain, but so good, too. And Taka kisses back, just as desperate, just as needy, making noises that drives Mondo out of his goddamn mind, but he doesn’t stop. He feels himself lifting the thin undershirt Taka is wearing, tossing it over his shoulder as he lets his hands explore the warm and smooth expanse of Taka’s chest. He feels hard, harder than he’s ever felt before, and he wants so, so bad. He presses his hips to Taka’s and moans when he feels an answering hardness, Taka letting out a small shout at the feeling. He knows that Taka is enjoying himself, knows that the boy wants it too, which is why he feels so confused when Taka pulls back, his eyes wide, shaking his head slightly.

Taka then says how they shouldn’t, that it’s improper, that they’re not technically even dating. He insinuates that he wants to wait until they get out before they do things, which upsets Mondo, since he knows that that won’t happen, no matter what Taka is deluding himself to believe. But Mondo... Mondo can’t find it in him to burst Taka’s bubble, not when it’s his last night on earth. The last time he’ll get to spend with Taka. Yeah, he really, really wants to go all the way with Taka, to not die a fucking virgin, but he also doesn’t want to pressure Taka. He doesn’t deserve it, anyway. Not after what he did.

So, Mondo nods, reluctantly, wondering if he should just go or not. If it wouldn’t be better to just... leave now and not hurt Taka anymore.

But then Taka is smiling at him, grabbing his hand, and... and then Taka is kissing him. It’s awkward and clumsy, the boy clearly not knowing what he’s doing, but it’s so endearing to Mondo that he can’t help the warm chuckle he lets out, even if it’s a bit watery. Taka pulls back with a small pout, looking a little annoyed, and Mondo fixes that by grinning brightly, stuffing down the fear inside him, and kissing Taka properly. Taka just lets out a happy sound, annoyance forgotten, and returns the favor in kind, enthusiastic as ever.

Mondo loses himself in the sensation and is a bit shocked to find— several minutes later— that at some point the two of them have migrated over to the bed, lips not parting for a single second. Mondo doesn’t mind at all, though, and finds that he can’t help how he pushes Taka down onto it gently, muttering promises that he won’t go too far, he swears. Taka nods absently at the words, seeming too far gone to even care anymore, but anytime Mondo’s hands accidentally wander too far south, he can feel Taka jolt, which reminds him to keep this PG. It still feels incredible to press down onto Taka as he kisses him, though, knowing then that there is nothing else he ever, ever wants to do in life.

Sometime later— Mondo has no idea how long since time has never meant less to him— he and Taka find themselves lounging together on the bed, Taka’s head on his bare chest, Mondo’s duster and tank top having been discarded at some point. Taka is drawing absent designs on Mondo’s chest, humming happily. Mondo is holding onto Taka tightly, his fear and terror running rampant through him, but it’s manageable when he’s holding Taka so close.

At some point, Mondo manages to let out the words that have been building inside him since he- he did that, his weakness and fear voiced at last.

“I’m scared, Taka,” he finds himself muttering, closing his eyes, breathing deeply and evenly. “So... so fuckin’ scared. K-know ya think we’re gonna get outta here, that no one is gonna- gonna fuckin’ kill anymore, but... I dunno. Yer so fuckin’ good, man. Believin’ the best in people, but I... I ain’t like that. An’ I... s-shit. I’m so fuckin’ terrified that I’m gonna die. I don’t... I don’t wanna die, man. I... I...”

Mondo begins to cry then, hating himself yet again for it, but Taka doesn’t judge him. He just shushes him softly, pulling him close, shifting them so that Mondo’s head is on Taka’s chest now. Mondo’s hair had fallen out of his pompadour at some point, his eyeliner smudged off, and he’s never felt weaker, but somehow... somehow, he doesn’t mind. Not when Taka is there, shushing him softly, kissing his forehead tenderly, eyes soft and caring. He can feel how Taka is shaking, knows that he’s also scared, but damn if Taka lets that be known. Mondo has a moment to think that Taka is probably the strongest person he’s ever met, heart aching, before Taka is speaking. Soft and shaking, but still so incredibly determined.

“You won’t, kyoudai. N-neither will I. We... we will both make it out of this, you’ll see! You and me. Me and- and you. We will get out and we will spend the rest of our lives together. We will finish school and then we will go to university, and I will get a job in politics while you- y-you get a job wherever you would like. We will get married and have children, if we want, and pets, and... and we... we will... we will be happy, kyoudai. Happy. And... and together. I- I promise, kyoudai... Mondo. I... I promise...”

Mondo can hear the way Taka’s voice tremors, can hear the uncertainty and the doubt even despite the confident words, but in that moment... in that moment, he just doesn’t care. He doesn’t care if that’s actually possible or not. He doesn’t care if he and Taka can have that; if he deserves to have that. He just... he doesn’t care.

Instead, he smiles. It’s small at first, but it gets wider and wider the more time that passes, and soon he is laughing. It’s brittle and fragile, but it’s more than he thought he’d ever have, after... well. After what he’d done. He lifts himself off Taka’s chest and looks down at him with liquid soft eyes, smiling with all the love in his heart.

And in that moment... he knows. Knows that he wants that. A life. With Taka. And- and had this whole thing not happened... had they met in better circumstances, better times… they could have had that. A life. A love. Him and Taka; Taka and him. Together forever. He loves Taka, truly and fully, and there is no one on this earth he can imagine ever loving more. And maybe it’s the desperation of the situation, maybe it’s not actually real, but he... he wishes that it could be. Real. That they could have discovered together if it could have been real.

(And in some part of him, deep, deep inside... he knows that it is. He doesn’t believe in reincarnation or things like that, but he knows that this is not the first time he has met Taka. The first time he has fallen in love with him. He doesn’t know what that means, but it’s such a strong belief inside him that he can’t find it in him to contradict it. Not at all. Not even a little.)

And then... while Mondo really wants to be closer to Taka— to feel him, in every sense of the word— he respects Taka’s wishes and keeps his hands to himself. And instead, he... he finds himself talking. He’s still leaning up on his arms, looking down at Taka, while he continues the story Taka had created. Of their life together. He mentions that he would become a carpenter, fixing and creating things rather than always breaking them. That they would live in a shitty apartment that is broken down and crappy at first, but that they would eventually make enough that Mondo would be able to build them a house, large and perfect, built exactly for them and the family they will have. He mentions that they will adopt at least two kids, a boy and a girl, though he wouldn’t mind more. Says that he will spoil them all rotten and do everything he can to ensure that they will never know the hardships that either of them has faced. He talks about the dogs they will own, and the cats too, and other animals, all the animals, their home full and bright and happy, and...

And Taka continues when Mondo’s voice breaks, saying that Taka will start a garden outside, one that he will tend to when he’s not working on his campaign. He will grow fruits and vegetables and herbs that he will use in his cooking, since he apparently enjoys cooking and baking and things like that. He will also grow flowers and other ‘useless’ plants, just because he thinks they look nice, their house full of color and life at all hours.

Mondo finds his voice again and talks about how he would want to start a charity, something to help kids who grow up in rough neighborhoods, giving them options in life other than street gangs and crime. He talks about how his brother always wanted to do that kind of thing, and that he wants to do it in his stead. His voice gets thick again, but it’s okay, because then Taka is leaning up and kissing him, so he doesn’t have to talk anymore anyway.

Mondo has no idea what time it is when they pull back, Mondo shifting them again so that they are facing one another, arms around each other as they cuddle close together. He knows it’s late, thinks it might almost be time for that bear’s fucking morning announcement, but he doesn’t let it get to him. He just holds Taka closer, imagining the life that they created together, a life that could have been theirs— would have been theirs— if only... if only.

At some point they start kissing again, Mondo not knowing who starts it but not really caring. The kiss starts lazy and slow, but is soon getting heated again, Taka’s hands wandering all over his chest, driving Mondo crazy. Eventually Mondo has to grab Taka’s hands desperately in his own when they travel too far south, Mondo letting out a desperate noise as he whispers hoarsely that if Taka doesn’t wanna go farther than this tonight, then they should prolly stop.

To his absolute shock, Taka gets a concentrated look on his face, like he’s thinking deeply about something, and then... then...

Taka takes his hands back from Mondo, and then...

Mondo lets out a strangled curse when he feels Taka’s hand brush against him down there, Taka blushing bright red but looking as determined as ever. Mondo asks him softly what he’s doing, heart racing, and Taka grows even brighter red, but he doesn’t back down. He just hums, softly, and looks Mondo in the eye.

“I... I do not know, kyoudai. I just... I want... hm. I’ve never. Um. Wanted. Not before. But I... with you... hm. I-it is improper, I know, a-and we don’t have to- we... we have time, I know, but... but I...”

Mondo stares at Taka with wide, wonder filled eyes as Taka trembles, his hardness pressing against Mondo’s as they mold themselves to the other’s body. Part of Mondo feels nervous about what Taka is saying. Thinks that he should deny him, should say that Taka should wait, if he wants. But the bigger part of him... the part that knows the future they made up is just that, made up... the part that knows that they both will not make it out of this alive, since Mondo fucked that up already...

It can’t quite find it in him to deny it. Not when he knows this is the only chance he will ever get. Ever.

And so... he kisses Taka again. Deep, meaningful. And he lets his hands wander. Taka lets out noises, enthusiastic and happy, but desperate, too. Needy. And Mondo thinks he knows why. Knows that Taka knows. That this isn’t okay. That neither of them is okay, but fuck, will they pretend they are.

As he slowly pulls down Taka’s briefs, doing his best to not psych himself out, he has a moment to think about how familiar this all feels to him. He’s never done anything like this with anyone, certainly not Taka, but as he grabs Taka in hand, listening as Taka lets out a loud shout, desperate and needy and fuck, he... he knows this is not the first time this has happened. He doesn’t know how he knows, but... but he does. Somehow, that thought comforts him. Greatly.

And when he feels Taka’s hands hesitantly touch him, trail over his body, and hesitantly remove his pants and his boxers, Taka trembling but oh so passionate and determined still... he wishes— not for the first time— that none of this had ever happened. That he’d never come to Hope’s Peak, that Taka had never come to Hope’s Peak. And he doesn’t wish that they’d never met, fuck he doesn’t wish that, but... but maybe they could have met somewhere else. Taka had mentioned once that his father is a police officer. Maybe... maybe they could have met during one of the times when Mondo was inevitably arrested, Taka visiting his father and seeing Mondo, but not feeling afraid, not at all. Maybe Taka would have spoken to Mondo, then, earnest as ever. Maybe he would have offered to help Mondo out, to help him leave his life of crime and settle into a good, meaningful life. And Mondo knows that if that had actually happened in real life, he’d have punched the kid’s lights out, but in this fantasy... in this fantasy, he accepts, and Taka smiles so beautifully at him, and they find a way to have their happy ending. Without this nightmare, without the threat of death looming over them even as they touch one another so softly, so gently, the first time they’ve ever done this but also not.

He pushes the thoughts aside as he gears up the courage to grab himself and Taka in hand together, Taka moaning loudly, Mondo moaning as well. Part of Mondo wants to go further, wants to take all of Taka, but he finds he can’t. Not when he knows what is going to happen in a few short hours. Not when... well. Not when.

But he allows himself this. Allows himself and Taka to build up a steady rhythm together, Taka practically sobbing as Mondo holds him close, shushing him even as he feels like he’s about to fall apart himself. He doesn’t know why Taka is crying, if he’s just overwhelmed or if he, too, realizes what this is. That this isn’t the first in a long line of times they will do things like this, but that it... it’s a goodbye, Mondo’s way of holding a part of Taka, even as he lets him go.

Mondo doesn’t know what will happen in the trial, but as he holds onto Taka so desperately, he knows he will not be winning. He still is so afraid, doesn’t know if he will be brave enough to do what he knows he must, but... but he also knows he can’t be the reason Taka dies. He honestly would rather die than do that. It’s comforting to realize, in the oddest, strangest of ways. Death is so much easier to digest when he places it in the context of saving the man that he loves. And he does. Love him. So, so much...

Eventually Mondo feels himself getting close, and feels that Taka is getting close too, so he allows himself to whisper into Taka’s ear. Whisper all the soft and gentle words he has kept hidden inside his heart his entire life, the words he’s always had to hide in order to survive the rough and dangerous lifestyle he was always forced to lead. He whispers how amazing Taka is, how Mondo is constantly astonished by how good and kind Taka is, how Taka is prolly the best person he has ever met. He whispers that he knows Taka will change the world, that he will be the best of all of them. That he already is.

And he... he whispers how much he loves him. How he knows it’s too soon to say shit like that, but that he- he means it. He also whispers his sneaking suspicion that this was not the first time they met, that he’s loved Taka far longer than just a handful of stressful, terrifying weeks, that they... that they belong together in a way that is intrinsic inside them both.

And while part of him is embarrassed by the words, thinking himself a weak and pathetic sap, the majority of him can’t find it in him to care. Not when Taka is letting out a shout, cumming against him while a few tears leak out of the corner of his eyes. And Mondo... Mondo is cumming not long after, collapsing on top of Taka, breath heaving as he rests, doing his best to not crush the love of his fucking life.

But Taka doesn’t seem to care. He doesn’t seem to care at all, not when he leans up and whispers in Mondo’s ear. Voice shaking and trembling but still, always, endlessly determined. He whispers how he feels the same, that Mondo is the best person he has ever met. How, despite his gruff and harsh exterior, Taka has never met someone so kind and caring before. How he loves Mondo, too, more than he would ever think possible, certainly not after such a short amount of time. And how he, too, has the weird feeling that this was not the first time they’ve met, the first time they’ve fallen in love.

Taka asks him, then— voice small and trembling— if Mondo believes in reincarnation. If he thinks that... that they’ve lived a life together before, and that this is just them meeting up again. And that... that they will meet up again one day, in another life, far from Hope’s Peak and killing games and death that is both senseless and cruel. And Mondo doesn��t know, has never believed in an afterlife at all, but as he pulls back and looks down at Taka’s face, the boy looking so desperate and terrified, he... he can’t help how he smiles. And laughs. And leans down, kissing Taka again, the millionth time even if it really shouldn’t be. And he...

He nods. He agrees. He says that yes, he does. He does believe in reincarnation and that they- they will find each other one day. Should they... well. Well. That one way or another, they will have their happy ending. He promises. He... he promises...

He can’t even find it in him to be embarrassed by the sappy words, the desperation he knows is plain in his words and eyes. He knows it’s getting so fucking late, knows that the fucking announcement will come soon and that the body will be discovered soon after, but... but he doesn’t want to leave. Never. Never. Never. He doesn’t want to think too much, doesn’t want to think about what will happen in a few short hours. Doesn’t want to let this one small piece of happiness he’s found get ruined because he couldn’t handle being fucking soft.

And so, he doesn’t. Doesn’t ruin it. He just lays down on his side, next to Taka, and pulls him close. They are naked, bodily fluids drying unpleasantly on their skin, but Mondo doesn’t care. He just pulls Taka close and holds him, Taka resting his head against Mondo’s chest again, like earlier, fingers tracing patterns on Mondo’s skin again and again and again. Mondo is exhausted, so tired, but he doesn’t close his eyes. Doesn’t let himself sleep, knowing that this is the first and last time he will ever get to hold Taka like this and wanting so badly to savor it. And- and he knows Taka feels the same. Knows that Taka doesn’t sleep either. And Mondo... Mondo wonders if he suspects. What Mondo did. The reason why Mondo is so scared. He thinks the Ultimate Moral Compass can’t possibly suspect, thinks that Taka would never be willing to be so close to him if he- if he knew— but. But...

But... when the fucking announcement comes, seven coming way too fast for his own good... when he feels Taka stir sluggishly, the boy clearly not wanting to get up but his sense of duty likely making him...

Taka whispers to him. Soft. Gentle. As Mondo takes a washcloth and cleans them up, he hears Taka’s whispered words. And he... he...

“Please know, kyoudai, that I... I will always love you. No matter what happens. No matter... n-no matter what happens. Nothing will ever make me love you less. I swear, m-my... my love. I... I promise.”

Mondo stares at his kyoudai, heart beating both fast and slow, a contradiction that somehow makes perfect sense to him. He’s exhausted, hasn’t slept a wink all night, but for some reason, he’s not afraid. Oh, he knows he will be. Once the announcement is made that a body has been found. Once everyone is called to the girl’s locker room, once they see the dead body he left lying on the ground beside a splotch of bright pink blood. Then the fear will return. Bright and fierce and terrifying. He will mourn himself, mourn Chihiro, mourn everyone who is trapped in this sick and twisted death game.

(But not Taka. He- he can’t mourn Taka, can’t let himself believe that this beautiful and wondrous boy will ever, ever die. Even if it’s so fucking likely, since like hell would Taka ever kill anyone. Maybe- maybe he’ll find a way out. Or whoever is keeping them here will realize how twisted they are and let him out. Or- something. Something. Even if it’s too late for Mondo, it won’t be for Taka. He- he knows this. Has to know this.)

But for now... for now, he doesn’t worry about it. He just... lets himself exist, his heart beating for Taka and Taka alone. He doesn’t let himself think about what will come or what will happen. He just... loves Taka. Plain and simple.

So, he smiles. And he nods. And he whispers the same words back, even though it’s not the same, not the same at all.

He watches with all the fondness and love in his heart as Taka gets dressed in his ridiculously complicated uniform, aching for what he will never have, and yet yearns for dearly. He’s fighting the fear inside him as hard as he can, but once he is dressed in his clothes from the day before (he doesn’t care, fuck he doesn’t care) and Taka is in his uniform, it’s not like he can help it. The fear. The dread.

It only gets worse when, right before they are able to leave the room together, they get accosted by Monokuma, who is being all vague and unhelpful, even going so far as to make insinuations about them, but one thing is clear. Something happened. Not that it’s a surprise to Mondo. He... he already knew that.

And... it seems Taka did, too. Mondo looks at him, the fear kicked up a hundred-fold, and sees that the kid’s face is a blank mask. Mondo has never seen Taka look so... emotionless before. It makes him nervous, but before he can ask if he’s alright, or maybe try and beg for the forgiveness that he knows he doesn’t deserve, Taka smiles at him. Bright and guileless, with no hint of strain.

(Mondo wouldn’t have suspected that Taka could be such a good liar. Perhaps, when it’s important. When it matters. When... when.)

“I think we should head to the bath, kyoudai. Before breakfast. I remember you mentioning how much you like morning baths!”

Mondo stares at Taka for a full minute, heart aching, but Taka doesn’t seem to show he knows anything at all. And yet... Mondo knows he must know something. Taka is so big on rules and order. He is the one who insisted they all meet for breakfast every day. He wouldn’t miss that. Especially not when something clearly has happened. Not when... shit.

But Mondo doesn’t deny it. He just nods stiffly, his smile shaky on his lips. Taka smiles brightly back, before marching over to the door, opening it, and exiting quickly. Mondo stares after him for a moment before following, not wanting to waste a single second more.

The walk to the bath doesn’t take long and, thankfully, they don’t run into anyone as they make their way over. Once inside, Taka immediately goes to the men’s section of the bathhouse, not saying a word, but his back is loose, not tense. Not like Mondo’s is.

Mondo watches as Taka strips, his breath getting taken away as he sees the beautiful boy before him. He only is spurned into motion when Taka looks at him over his shoulder, head tilted curiously. Mondo strips quickly after that, very relieved that there are no security cameras around. He can feel Taka’s bright red eyes watching him as he removes his clothes, heart racing, doing all he can to pretend that this is okay. That this is normal.

It isn’t. It can’t be, he knows it can’t, but if Taka is doing all he can to pretend, then... then so will he.

Taka insists that they quickly rinse off before entering the bath itself, as is polite, and once that is done, they enter the bath together, talking softly about random bullshit, light and easy. They don’t mention what Monokuma insinuated. They don’t mention anything like that at all. They stay close, practically touching, but they don’t do much more than that. Mondo knows that Taka wouldn’t approve, and he doesn’t want to pressure Taka into anything. Not ever. Especially not now.

After a little while, they exit the bath, dressing in their uniforms again as soon as they are able. They then leave the bathhouse and head to Mondo’s room, since Mondo still has to make himself up. Part of him doesn’t really want to, as tired as he is, but he knows it would be suspicious if he didn’t. Plus... if this is going to be his last day alive (and it will, oh god, it will), then he might as well look presentable. Right?

It takes him the usual twenty minutes, during which Taka watches him, his body loose and his eyes soft. They talk again about everything and nothing, and for a moment, Mondo can pretend. Pretend that this is fine. Pretend that he’s okay. Pretend that he hadn’t... h-hadn’t...

But then the announcement comes. And his heart sinks.

They found the body. God fucking dammit, they found the body.

The next hour is a blur to him, Mondo following after an unusually quiet Taka in a daze. Mondo does his best to not show how terrified he is, but he thinks he fails. With Taka, at least. And Taka... Taka doesn’t do anything to show that he’s suspicious. He doesn’t give Mondo any looks, doesn’t frown... doesn’t really do much of anything, really. It makes Mondo feel disgusting inside, but... but he doesn’t know what to do. Goddammit, but he’s only sixteen! He... he didn’t fucking ask for this! Any of this! G-god... f-fuck...

When he and Taka enter the girl’s locker room, Mondo wonders how he will be able to fake his shock when he feels so dead inside, but the minute he enters... he realizes he won’t have to fake shock. He won’t have to fake anything, really.

Because that... that is not how he left Chihiro’s body, holy fucking shit.

W-what... who... who the fuck did that, he wonders, trying to mask the shock a little, hoping it looks like someone who is appalled at the disgusting way Chihiro is being suspended and not... not. Mondo... Mondo may have killed the dude (oh god), but he sure as shit hadn’t done this disrespectful bullshit. But who... who did...?

For one split, heart stopping second, he wonders madly if Taka did it. If he... if he did it because he knew, he knew, he... he somehow knew and wanted to try and cover it up, or throw people off Mondo’s scent, or- or... something. Anything.

But he quickly dismisses that thought because a) it’s absurd, Taka is too fucking good and moral to do shit like that, b) Taka looks as shocked as all of them, and no matter how good he may be at acting, Mondo knows he’d fucking suck at covering up his own crime, and c) Mondo spent pretty much the entire night with Taka, going straight to his room after- fuck. After. So... definitely not Taka. But then... who...? He doesn’t know, fuck he doesn’t know. He can barely think, feeling so tired and scared and afraid.

(He had noticed Taka’s momentary look of relief, though. As soon as they entered. As soon as he saw the body. It had quickly morphed to sorrow and pain, but Mondo had seen the relief when Taka had glanced at him, and Mondo... Mondo thinks he knows why.)

(After all.)

(He sure as shit wouldn’t have done that monstrous bullshit to anyone. Least of all Chihiro. Anyone who knows him would know that. He may be a biker [and now a murderer], but he has more honor than that.)

(And maybe... maybe, with that in mind... he could actually get away with this shit. F-fuck...)

(Yeah, Taka would die, they’d all die, but... b-but...)

Mondo is volunteered to stand guard again with Ogami, the class assuming he’ll do it like he’d done last time, even though he really wants to be anywhere but here. Especially when Taka goes off, eyes determined, saying he’s going to find out who did this and see that they are brought to justice. Seems Taka has stopped suspecting him entirely, then. F-fuck... he can’t leave, though. It would be suspicious, especially since he was the one who volunteered last time. So, he... he doesn’t leave. He just... stays. Stomach sick, hating himself as much as ever, he… he stays.

The hour of the investigation is simultaneously the longest and shortest hour of his life. Shortest because he knows this will be the last hour of his life, his fear making time seem like it moves faster than it should. Longest since he’s trapped in the room with his fucking murder victim, forced to see the horrifying way some sick bastard had mangled the poor dude’s body, the worst disgrace in death. He wants to rip the poor dude off the bar, wants to show him the respect he fucking deserves, but he can’t. That detective chick is still observing the body, and if he does that, he will instantly be indicating himself. And- and while... while he knows he will be caught, should be caught, he...

He can’t help the goddamn fucking hope that is blooming inside him. The hope that he’ll be free. The hope that he might actually be able to escape this living nightmare. The hope that he... he could...

Eventually the hour ends, and the class is forced into the goddamn fucking courtroom, and Mondo is forced to listen to the farce of a trial. It gets discovered relatively early who disrespected Chihiro’s body (revealing that fucking Fukawa is Genocide Jack. Or Jill. Or... whatever), but then... then it turns out it was Togami who mangled the dude’s body, for... whatever fucking reason that sick fucker had. Which infuriates the shit out of him, hating Togami almost as much as he hates Monokuma and himself, hating him for being so uncaring about someone being fucking dead.

Everyone latches onto the idea that it was Togami, though, even Taka, which shouldn’t relieve Mondo as much as it does, goddamn him, but... but...

But of course. Fucking Naegi, that goddamn bastard... he has to be suspicious. And Mondo gets it, okay, he does. No one here actually wants to die. But... but he...

In the end, it was a slip of the tongue. One mistake that will end up costing him his fucking life. He’s never put much thought into the words he says, the strain too frustrating for him to bother with, and it’s fucking fitting that that specific personality flaw is what kills him, in the end.

Blue. Fucking... blue. Blue was once a favorite color of his, though red has quickly been replacing it lately. But just... fucking blue.

Taka tries to deny it. Mondo thinks that’s what kills him the most. How desperately Taka tries to defend him. Refuting everything Naegi says. Denying it all. But Mondo had seen it, too. The doubt. The way the kid’s eyes had widened when the class caught onto his trail, darting over to Mondo quickly once, then away. The... the fear. The... all of it. Just... all of it.

But... but Mondo is tired of lying. He honestly hates lying, it makes his head hurt trying to hold onto so many tangled webs. And he didn’t get any sleep the previous night, anyway, and hasn’t eaten at all. And he’s just... tired. So very, goddamn tired...

So... he gives up. He gives in. He confesses his truth, the deadly secret that he can’t ever undo, and it... it’s hard. Not even because he knows he’s signing his own death sentence, but because of Taka. Because of the anguish he sees on the kid’s face, tears and snot flowing freely down his beautiful face, not that Taka seems to care. The kid asks him why, and he... it’s the least he can do. To confess. To just... explain.

And that hurts, too. All of this just... it hurts. But it’s not a sharp and angry pain. It’s like... pressure. Inside him. He... he killed someone. Someone who had trusted him. Someone who had admired him. He... even if he had survived, he’d never have been able to live with himself. Not in the long run. Especially not if his cowardice led to the death of so many others. Of Taka. He may be a monster, but he... he’s not that much of a monster.

So... this was for the better, he thinks, heart aching as that fucking bear reveals his secret anyway, the one he’d been willing to murder to keep safe. He finishes his confession, tells everyone what he did and why, and it… fuck, it’s hard, but it’s the absolute least he can do. He keeps looking at Taka even through the pain, through his final confession, even though Taka cannot look at him. Taka hadn’t voted for Mondo, hadn’t been able to do it, the bear had said. That breaks him even more, honestly. F-fuck...

And then... before he knows it, it... it’s time. Punishment time. And Mondo... Mondo finds that he’s not as scared as he thought he would be. He apologizes to Taka, the kid looking absolutely destroyed, and it’s not enough. It’s never enough; can’t ever be enough. He has so many words to say, declarations and apologies and promises. In the end, he has time for none of it. But he... he does get one thing in. Other than his apology. Other than... than...

“See you in the next life, Taka. Hope it ain’t anytime soon.”

Mondo isn’t able to hear Taka’s response to that, as he’s too busy getting dragged off by that goddamn fucking bear. He does his best to appear calm as he is chained to the back of a motorcycle, as that goddamn bear sits in the driver’s seat, wearing a mockery of his uniform. His heart is pounding, and he knows this is it. It’s like the moment before his brother pushed him out of the way all over again, but this time... this time there is no last-minute rescue. This time there is no freedom, no release. This time...

This time he... he dies.

But... well.

At least he dies on a fucking hog, like he always imagined he would.

There’s some measure of comfort in that.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N: So, that’s the story! I think y’all can kind of see why I didn’t want to write this how I normally write. And I’m sure y’all picked up on this, but yes, them feeling like they knew each other was definitely because of the memory loss. I have a degree in psychology. I learned a ton about memory during school, and one thing is that memory is located in so many places it’s almost impossible to completely lose all of your memory. Even if you lose your episodic memory (your memory of personal events, like birthday parties or what you did last month), you tend to keep your semantic memory (your memory of facts and things, like what the Pythagorean theorem is, or who Napoleon is) as well as some sense memory. Mondo and Taka were totally a Thing before the killing game. I honestly don’t believe in reincarnation, but I think it was comforting to Taka and Mondo to think about.

(It also would make seeing Alter Ego Mondo so much worse, oof.)

This story, technically, could fit into canon, I think. I even rewatched Mondo’s death to make sure, and while some things were a bit off, I tried to keep things mostly like in canon. The only real difference was Mondo’s last words to Taka, I think.

Anyway, I hope y’all liked it! Let me know if you liked the format and maybe I’ll do more things like this to get more ideas out. I have one in the works, tentatively, so we’ll see. Bye! :-D

#Danganronpa #Kiyotaka Ishimaru #Mondo Owada #Mondo Owada POV #Danganronpa fanfiction #Character death #Another Life #One Shot #My fanfic

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imagines-by-a-typical-fangirl · 3 years

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Californian Dream (Pt. 02 of 11)

Pairing: Billy Hargrove X Reader

Word count: 2.9 K

Summary: Being part of one of the richest families of California doesn't mean you're happy. Your life is boring, and you're surrounded by meaningless people and their meaningless talk. Even during Summer, with the break you have from college, there's nothing good going on. Nothing but the new pool guy, Billy, the most handsome man you ever saw. You were successfully avoiding him, not wanting to act like an idiot in front of the guy until Billy accepts to be your date for a fancy gala you're forced to attend. The night was going well, even better when he sneaked you out to go to the beach. But a gang of criminals breaks into the party, kidnapping the heirs to the wealthiest families, which includes you. So, for your safety, your parents want you to stay with Billy, living in his apartment until the criminals are caught. And that could take weeks, maybe even months.

Warnings: Light violence

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{Stranger Things Masterlist}

{Dacre Montgomery Masterlist}

Open Book

You're checking your hair for the third time on the huge mirror in the main hall. The lilac dress fits you perfectly, of course, since your mother wouldn't allow you to buy anything that didn't look marvelous. Your hair, Amelia's doing, it pinned up on a high bun, a few strands allowed to be free, only to frame your face. But you can't wait to let it all down, to strip out of the dress and put on some normal clothes. The night would be doomed if it wasn't for Billy. Since the almost drowning incident, your father is very thankful, and he's even giving Billy generous tips. And you've been going out of your way to talk to him, offering help, even though he always refuses. And Michael is only allowed here on formal occasions when your father and his have business to discuss, so it means you haven't seen him in the last couple of days.

The bell ring drags you out of your thoughts, and you immediately get nervous. Taking a look at the clock, you notice he's right on time. Rushing to the front door, as fast as your high heels allow, you gesture for the butler to leave it to you, and he nods and walks away. Taking a deep breath, you pull the door open, and a smile comes to your lips straight away. Billy looks amazing, and in this suit, people will be talking for a very different reason. He'll get many stares, you're sure of it. He won't look misplaced, he'll be the center of all attentions.

“You... Clean up real nice.” As you stutter, you notice as he quickly runs his eyes through your body, making you blush.

“You too.” He says with a smile, before tilting his head towards the car. “Should we get going? I'm sure you'd hate to be late.”

“Oh, no. God forbid.” You say, sarcastically, making your way to his car. And what a car. A dark bluish Camaro, if you're not mistaken, which you think suits him perfectly. “Hey, what a machine, huh?” You exclaim as you get into the passenger seat. Billy walks around the car before settling down beside you.

“I'm sure it's nothing compared to what you may drive.” Giving you a glance and a small smile, he speeds away, through the rocky path that leads to the gates.

“Well, my pink Cadillac is not as badass as this baby here.”

“A pink Cadillac? That's girly.”

“I'm a girl if you haven't noticed.” He slows down at the gates, and you kindly waves at the security guard as you move to hit the street.

“I noticed, don't worry.” His Camaro makes a wild noise when he speeds up, flying through the road, so you decide to buckle up.

“Good.” Why does it makes you happy you know he noticed you're a girl? “So, what's her name?” You ask, gesturing at the car when Billy gives you a confused glance.

“She doesn't have one.” Chuckling, he turns his attention back at the road ahead. “But you're right, she should have a name.”

“What are the chances you'll let me chose it?” Moving on your seat a little to turn your body towards him, you bite your lip to see his smile.

“Only if you come up with something really good.”

“Lily.” You burst out.

“Absolutely not.”

“But is my favorite flower and it's beautiful.” Defending yourself, you can't keep the smile from your face.

Billy furrows his eyebrows, shaking his head lightly. “Nope. No way. You're not naming my car Lily.”

Since he seems very focused on the road, you get the chance to look at him. Your eyes run through his face, his cheeks, jawline, lips. His eyes, that you concluded, are the same color as the ocean. You wish you had a good excuse to look at them, just for a while. “Not even if I say please?”

“Not even if you make puppy eyes.”

With a dramatic eye roll, you decide to give up on the matter, for now at least. Half an hour later, you finally get to the hotel where the gala will happen. You advise Billy to park his car three blocks away since it'll be a lot easier to leave after the party is over. Then, you leave the car and walk the rest of the way. The hotel entrance is already crowded, and you know at least half of all these people, but so far, you haven't spotted any of your friends.

“Can I hold your arm? Just because that's how the dates walk around in these things.” Shyly, you ask as you climb up the stairs to the main hall.

“Sure.”

“Thanks.” Muttering, you take his arm, now already at the entrance. The two men by the door give you a nod, gesturing for you to get inside. People know you, there's no need to ask for an invitation. The hotel's hall is beautifully decorated, with tiny white and yellowish lights scattered through the walls, and then hanging, coming all together on the chandelier. You can't deny it looks amazing, but still, you'd rather be somewhere else. “So... That's how it happens.” You start, walking around with Billy. “We find our table, and on the way, we make sure to spot and greet some people. The goal is to make your presence known. Then, since it's a beneficial gala, I'll have to make a donation.” Shrugging your shoulders, you wave at one of your mother's friends. “Then we go to our table and endure the rest.”

“No dancing?” He asks, after a small pause you make to greet Mr. and Mrs. Whayland, and thankfully, not James.

“I don't dance on these things, but...” Letting go of his arm for a moment, you turn around until you facing him, slowly walking backwards. “I will if you let me name your car Lily.”

“No dancing then.” He simply says with a smirk. “Quit it. You won't–” Billy suddenly grabs your arms, pulling you to the side. When you look behind you, you notice you almost hit one of the waiters, his tray full of vol-au-vents. “Careful.”

“Oh, my gosh. Sorry.” Giggling and a little embarrassed, you give the young man an apologetic look. “Let me get these.” Reaching out your hand, you take two pieces, handing one over to Billy. “Try this.”

“What is that?”

“Vol-au-vents. Some French thing. It's a pastry with some kind of sauce. It's good.” Carefully not to drop any sauce on your dress, you give the small thing a bite, gesturing for Billy to do the same, eyes focused on his face as he eats. “So?”

“I like pizza better.” He concludes and you nod.

“You're definitely the best date I could find.” Taking his arm again, you pull him to the table where most of the food is placed. There are waiters here too, making sure it's always be full. “Now, chose something.”

You take a quick glance at his face as he thinks. You're happy he doesn't seem so out of place here, or at least he doesn't let it show. “Shrimp cocktails.” He says. “Are they as good as they look or will I be disappointed?”

“I wouldn't know. I'm allergic to shrimp so if you're planning to kill me, that's the fastest way to do it.” Halfway through your sentence, Billy stops on his tracks, his hand now just hovering over the shrimps. “But you can eat them. Just... For real, don't touch me with that hand.”

“Let's not risk it then.”

“Alright.” Blushing, you clear your throat. You did hear some stories about Billy, mostly from your friends, trying to talk you out of coming with him. Billy has a way with women, never really going out with the same more than a couple of times. He's up late partying, punching people in the face when they get on his nerves, stuff like that. But he's being very nice with you today and was kind enough to make this hell of a huge favor. You don't care what he does in his free time, he's a nice guy. “This over here.”

“Brandy snaps.” You say, taking one for yourself. “I love this.” Some of the chocolate gets on your thumb as you eat, so you suck it clean, a gesture that makes some people around give you a disapproving stare. Flustered, you turn back at the table.

“Everything alright?”

“Yup. Come, I want to make a donation and sit down.” The incident makes you a little upset. These rules, as stupid as they may be, are meant to be followed, mostly on an event like this. Not even silly accidents as getting some chocolate cream on your thumb are acceptable. When you get to the table, you ignore the line of people behind it, taking one of the paychecks and a pen, you start writing down. “Last time, I donated fifty cents. As a joke, you know. People only do this to show off how much money they can afford to give away.” You tell Billy as you sign down your name. “My mother gave me a hell of a lecture.”

“So how much will you donate now?” He asks, coming a little closer to read what you're writing.

“Twenty.”

“Twenty dollars?”

“Twenty thousand.” You say as you put down the value, sliding it into the rectangular glass box. When you move to take Billy's arm again, he has his eyebrows raised. “What?”

“Nothing. It's just a lot of money.”

Not really, but you won't tell him that. “At least it'll buy something someone needs. Our table is by the windows, thank God.” You exclaim once you finally read your name on a piece of paper attached to the centerpiece of the table. Pulling Billy with you, you take a seat, your eyes immediately finding the beach, just across the street. “We can see the beach from here. A total win.”

“(Y/N)?” Your father calls, and you abandon the ocean for a while, finding him standing beside your mother.

“Hi, dad. Mom. How's the organization of–”

“Is he your companion for the gala?” He cuts you off, exchanging a glance with Billy. You knew they'd be mad, but something just clicks inside you. Through the corner of your eyes, you see Billy immediately looks away, at the beach.

“Yes, father.”

“Didn't you had other guys to–” He's interrupted by an announcement, his and your mother's being called alongside several other people. “We'll discuss this later.” And he leaves, your mother only giving you a hard stare.

“I bet it won't be pretty when you get home,” Billy speaks, still looking through the window. “They might even ask for someone else to attend to your pool.”

“Well, if it wasn't you working that day, I could've drowned so... I'll make sure to remind them of that.” Then, everybody stands up. You, taking the chance, walk closer to the window, arms crossed, forcing your eyes to find where the horizon is, now mixed with the dark sky. Soon, Billy joins you, eyes on the landscape. “Sorry about that. I swear I don't understand why is such a big deal.” You do get it's because he's just the pool guy, an employee, but still, it's stupid. Why can't he be your date? Would your father rather Michael, who almost got you killed, came with you? “I... I'm having a good time with you. This would suck a lot more if I were with some of those idiots.”

“Don't worry about me. I'm used to it.”

“You shouldn't be.” Turning around, you rest your back against the glass, gesturing at the party in general. “Do you know why people make such exaggerated donations? Because the five highest paychecks will be announced, so everyone will know. And you think people will find that selfless and generous? No. They'll start counting, calculating how much those people actually have on the bank to afford to spend so much.” There's a mocking tone on your voice, and you struggle to keep it down. “This isn't about helping those in need, is about social status.”

“Do you wanna get out of here?” Billy suddenly says, and the idea is so absurd it makes you chuckle, looking at him.

“What?” Looking around, you shake your head. “I can't... I can't just leave.”

“Why not?” He shrugs his shoulders. “You donated, your parents already know you came, and some woman gave you a death stare just because you sucked some chocolate off your thumb. You achieved all your goals for the night.”

Tilting your head to the side and looking at the floor, you consider it. The night is far from over, and the thought of having to sit here for hours is horrible. And the possibility of leaving thos place makes your heart beat faster. “Where?”

“There.” When you look up at him again, he's gesturing at the beach.

Slowly, a smile comes to your lips. Quickly scanning through the people, you notice they're quite focused on the host, who's still speaking. “Alright, let's go. But we gotta be careful.”

“We will. C'mon.” Billy grabs your hand, moving through the tables, but remaining near the wall. As you keep his pace, you're on high alert, checking if anyone is looking your way. It feels like it takes forever for you to reach the entrance, only half open, but when you do, you're relieved to notice those two men aren't here.

“We're out!” You burst out, quite loudly, bringing a hand to cover your mouth. Quickly, you rush downstairs, walking around the huge fountain and right into the sidewalk. You make a small pause, waiting for some cars to pass by before crossing. You can't stop smiling when you reach the other side. That's when you notice you're still holding his hand, so you let go, looking away. “I can't believe we're doing this.”

“It's not a bid deal.”

“It is for me.” Using his shoulder to balance yourself, you take your high heels off before stepping on the sand. “I never did anything like this.” Feeling the sand under your feet is amazing. This night just got so much better. “You're the best date I could ever find and that's final.” Turning on your heels, you find Billy coming your way, also barefoot.

“A lot of people would disagree.”

“I don't see anyone else here, so their opinion doesn't matter.” Reaching out to your bun, you pull all the pins, letting your hair down and dramatically shaking your head, until the strands fall all over your face. “This feels like freedom.” You giggle, taking a deep breath, aware of how stupid it may sound.

“I don't understand you.” He says, and you open your eyes again, looking at him. Billy walks by, and you quickly move to follow his pacenalong the beach.

“What don't you understand?”

“I met a lot of chicks like you. Rich, wearing rings more expansive than my car, with easy access to anything money can buy and they're happy.” Putting a strand of hair behind your ear, you glance at Billy. His shirt is half unbuttoned under the suit, giving you a glimpse of his chest, and that makes you blush and look ahead again. “But you don't sound happy.”

Shrugging your shoulders, you breathe out, not sure how to answer to that. “I know you probably think I'm just some spoiled rich kid with rich kid's problems who has everything yet wants more–”

“I know people who are just like that.” Billy makes a pause, and you give some more steps before turning around to look at him. “You're not one of them.”

“Are you sure?”

“You're the only boss I ever had who offers help.” As he speaks, a small ripple reaches your feet, and you jump a little before giggling and walking into the water until it reaches your calves, soaking your skirt. “You'll ruin your dress.”

“Mother won't let me wear it again since everyone already saw it so...”

“So... You always do what's expected of you.”

“I'm an open book to you, am I not?” Furrowing your eyebrows, you wonder how did he got there so fast. People don't notice it. You're always in perfect disguise.

“I just know where to look, I guess.”

“Well, I do what's expected of me, yes.” Walking out of the water, you feel the skirts of the dress getting attached to your legs, but you don't mind. “I gave up trying to argue with my parents a long time ago so I just... Follow the rules. One day after the other.” This is sad, you know it. Just mentioning it sucks. Being part of the high society is a privilege, or so they say. But you? You don't have a choice. “The good part is that it's Summer and there's no college. The bad part is that there are some stupid events to attend to, like that gala.”

“I know some people who would kill to be invited for something like that.” Billy tilts his head to where the hotel is.

“If you were somehow enjoying that we can go back.” By the look he gives you, it's quite obvious he wasn't, so you smile, walking closer to him, and pretending to pin your hair up again. “I can just fix this and we can go.”

“That's not my kind of party, don't bother.” He takes both your hands, pulling them away from your hair, causing it to cascade down again.

“And what's your kind of party?”

“You wouldn't like it.”

“Try me. You will never know if you don't take me to one.” The moment you say it, you understand what you meant, and the smile fades from your lips as you both resume your walking. Billy wouldn't take you anywhere else, not somewhere where his friends would see him with you, some wealthy, stupid girl. And your parents would never approve you going somewhere... Different. Somewhere not filled with millionaires. “Nevermind.” You're quick to add. “I throw my own parties. Just blasting music in my bedroom and dancing with myself.”

“So that's where that music comes from.” He chuckles, and you playfully elbow him. “Maybe someday. If your father doesn't kick me out of your property, we might see a little of each other every once in a while.”

“Yeah. You could let me rake some leaves at least, I'm sure I can–” A loud, deafening explosion cuts you short, and you cover both your ears out of instinct. When the impact is over, you turn around, easily finding where the dark smoke and flames are coming from. The hotel. “What the hell.” You're still speaking when a dozen black vans come into your sight, all heading to the hotel. Seconds later, the shootings begin.

@multific @dontxfearxthereaper @nope-thanks @nikkixostan @shinydixon @alwaysadreamingoptimist

#imagine billy hargrove #billy hargrove x reader #billy hargrove fanfiction #billy hargrove x y/n #billy hargrove imagine #billy hargrove #billy stranger things #stranger things imagine #stranger things x you #imagine stranger things #stranger things

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walker-extended-universe · 3 years

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Season 2, Episode 2

“The One Who Got Away” is a very apt title, I think.

I’m gonna talk about the B plot of this episode first before I get into all the heavy stuff.

So August, Stella, Colton, and Todd are all in Saturday detention. Stella and Augsut and Colton are in detention for the parking lot incident. Todd’s reason is unknown but I’m willing to bet he was skipping classes or something. Seems like something he would do. Trey likely in a bid to distract himself from his mounting worry over Micki and Walker’s silence, sets up an escape room type situation for them to do to work on their communication skills. August and Todd are in one room, Stella and Colton are in another and the goal is to find a key to unlock the door. The key to finding the key is in their “shared history”. Todd and August find their key first after talking about Ruby and the whole mess related to her. Stella and Colton take a little longer due to their more strained relationship. Colton makes some surprisingly revealing comments about his parents’ attempts at dodging the divorce bullet and how it’s affected him. Eventually, theyfind their key as well and Stella gives him a ride back to the property. While on the road, they come across an unknown horse and decide to help it.

Part of me wonders if this was meant to set up a sort of romance plotline between Colton and Stella. I have a feeling Todd will at least be mentioned as August’s friend in later episodes, if not more screentime. The only complaint I have about about this entire episode is that Colton’s reveal about hsi aprent’s didn’t seem natural. He didn’t like Stella at this point and there was no reason for him to give her a real response to the question “Why are you so angry?”. It felt more like something that should’ve come later but it all worked out.

Now for the main plot of the story.

“GM” or Garrison is Seranos’ right-hand man and Micki’s former flame. He doesn’t reveal who she is at the meeting but he does take her somewhere private for a meeting to discuss a possible deal. She is agressive and confrontational, demanding evidence or proof that he’s being serious about this. It’s revealed that they intended to marry 14 years ago but she left him stranded at the atlar when he refused to change his criminal lifestyle. He tells her he can provide evidence for all of Seranos’ crimes if he gets immunity. He also reveals the identity of the sniper and the reason for the hit in Austin: Seranos is getting paranoid. Denise Davidson, despite Liam’s protests, agrees to the deal and heads to Del Rio to assist in the case.

With Seranos cleaning up all his loose ends and destorying evidence, it turns otu they’re too late to collect the promised evidence as one of Seranos’ men sets the building on fire just as Micki and Walker are maing their move. After some more discussion, they decide to send Garrison in one last time to get a confession. While waiting for Garrison to return, Micki finds out that he was more involved with Spider’s death than he previously claimed and moves in to confront him. There, Garrison admits that he was the sniper in Austin and that if he desont’ kil Walker now, it’ll be over for him and Micki too. In a rush of events, Micki stops Garrison from shooting Walker but inadvertently sends him falling to his death. Seranos is captured by Captain James. Walker later finds Micki drinking and listening to Garrison’s last mix-CD for her.

This was a very emotional story. Micki’s romantic past hasn’t been explroed much beyond Trey and the idea of her getting hitched at 19 is foreign and certainly not something I would’ve imagined for her. I also find it interesting that she considered Garrison to be the one who got away despite the fact that she was the one who left. I wonder how hte vents of this episode will affect Micki and Trey’s relationship going forward as well. She’s going to be feeling the effects of this for a while and I imagine Trey won’t be too happy to learn about this very major part of Micki’s life so late into their relationship.

This episode revealed some more abotu Walker and Micki’s relationship as well. It’s clear they care fo reach other very much. Almost too much. Micki risked her life and her current relationships to go on a job specifically for Walker. Walker spends the entire time questioning Micki’s safety and her mental state and consistently suggests ideas that would bring her back otu of it despite the consequences to himself. I wonder if this will impact DA Davidson’s opinion on whether they should remain partners.

I can’t talk about that without talking about Walker and James. Walker was pissed that James hadn’t clued him on about the fact that he might’ve been a target for the hit too. James had his reasons not to and made sure Walker was protected but that lead to its own problems. I did enjoy watching them work together and I hope we see more of that in the future, even if it’s just in flashbacks.

Of course, there’s Walker and Denise too. They didn’t have a lot in this episode but what they did have indicates a clear level of respect for each other between them. Denise’s comment about the fire has me thinking too. I wonder if there will be any potential romantic plotline between the two of them. She is probably getting divorced soon, after all....

I do want to take a moment to talk about Liam in this episode. He only directly interacted with Denis but every moment was charged with tension. He is clearly not happy to be working under her and most of his time was spent quiestioning her decisions, even if they made sense. It’s like he was looking for a reason to professionally question her credibility for the DA position. I can’t imagine that dying down anytime soon.

All in all, a very good episode that completed it’s own plot while setting up pletny for the future. I, for one, am very excited for the next episode.

#walker #s02e02 #the one who got away #walker review

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haikyuu-appreciation-club · 4 years

Note

Hey, I love your work and I was wondering if you could do Tendou with a crush that has Kleptomania and is very quiet and insecure about it but he doesn't know that and everytime he ask if they want to go somewhere like the manga store they say no and he thinks they don't like him. But then they tell him and he comforts them.( Sry if it's to detailed and long🥺)

hello anon!! ty for the request and your kind words :)

detailed + long is very helpful when I write so no need to apologize!!

im not very familiar w/ kleptomania sooo i had to do a little research but i hope i can portray what you go through and such in this story (also sorry it’s kinda short)

anywhoo, enjoy <3

kleptomania: an impulse control disorder that results in an irresistible urge to steal

•Tendou + a S/O w/ Kleptomania•

warnings: none

genre: comfort + fluff (a hint of angst if you squint but 99% fluff)

character: tendou

tendou had his eyes on you for quite a while

you were one of the few people who were always kind to him and treated him like a normal human being

at first, he had his doubts about you and your intentions

most of the time people hung around him as a joke or to get something out of him mostly involving semi or ushijima so you couldn’t exactly blame him for being suspicious

you had never understood why people were so cruel to tendou, he was truly one of the best people you knew

you had grown pretty close to him over your highschool years and throughout each year, people would always try to feed you nonsense about the red head

you would always smile and shake your head, letting them know that you knew him better then they did

after hearing about things like that, tendou had slowly began realized that you actually cared for him and allowed his feelings for you to flow on the other hand, you had let your feelings for him flow a long time ago

you and tendou loved spending time together at school

this is why tendou didn’t understand why you turned down his offer to spend time together after school

he had brought up visiting the manga store with him a few times but you had always come up with an excuse every single time

at first he understood that you were busy and had things to do, so he didn’t mind waiting for another day

but overtime, your excuses got sloppy and confusing

that was when tendou started to realize that maybe he had been stupid for letting himself get his hopes up

he started to distance himself from you, growing colder and colder by the day

what tendou didn't know is that you would have loved nothing more then to accept his offer

you just didn't want him to have to find out about your kleptomania

you could never control yourself when it came to going to stores and would steal even the smallest of things, just to satisfy the urge

it wasn’t something you were too open about, you were ashamed of your actions and usually stayed quiet about these things

I mean if you were to talk with someone about it they would just be disappointed in you and look at you like some type of criminal and the last thing you wanted was for tendou to see you in that light

you didn't know this mindset would cause him to stray away from you though

not being able understand his actions lately, you thought you’d talk to him about it

you two usually talked and spent time together everyday so it was strange for him to be so distant

“Hey Tendou, had something been bothering you? You’ve seemed upset lately.”

“You don't have to keep pretending to like me Y/N.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I’m not an idiot Y/N! if you didn’t want to go you could have just told me, you didn't have to make up an excuse.”

you knew that you couldn’t run away from this situation forever but you didn’t think you’d have to come clean so soon

“I’m sorry for making you feel like I didn't want to be around you Tendou, I do want to go but I just can’t.”

“What do you mean you can’t?”

you sat down and tried to explain your situation to him the best you could

he felt guilty for acting the way he did instead of asking you about what was going on

he didn’t even take a second to try and think of any alternative reasons you could have for brushing him off

he knew you were afraid he would view you differently which is why you didn’t let him know right off the bat

he also knew how it felt to be judged and shunned because of who you were

this wasn't something you could control and he understood that

in his eyes, you were still the same amazing person he had fallen for, your kleptomania didn’t change that

he would support and care for you though the good times and the bad and help you get the professional help you need if you chose that path

even if you didn't reciprocate his feelings, he would be by your side every step of the way

he enveloped you in a hug

“Thank you for letting me know Y/N, sorry for overreacting. If you want, you could come over to my house and we can pick from some of the manga I have there!”

your heart stopped at the closed eyed smile he flashed you

“I would love that.”

“Awesome!! Text me and we can plan everything.”

he took out a pen and grabbed your wrist, scribbling his number in tiny writing before ruffling your hair

“See ya Y/N!”

you watched his figure retreat, heart in your throat

he treated it so normally, not looking at you differently while still acknowledging the struggles you were going through

he was always so good to you, that was one of the main things that made you fall for him

that day you went home with a smile on your face and butterflies in your stomach

••••••••••••••••��••••••••••••••

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writing-in-april · 3 years

Text

The Five Stages of Grief

Stage five: Acceptance (5/5)

Spencer Reid x Gender Neutral Reader (Spencer’s POV)

Thanks to @zhuzhubii who helped me so much with this series and made this gif for me 🥰

Summary: Spencer going through each of the stages of grief after the death of the reader. Stage five is acceptance.

A/N: Can’t believe my first series on here is done!!! I’m not gonna lie you guys this chapter is super emotional for me- I no joke cried the whole time while writing it and while rereading to edit. I basically have been going through the same thing recently with my Nana. This chapter is very close to my heart and is definitely the most personal chapter for me. The whole series is actually heavily inspired by season 3 episode 19 -one of my favorite episodes of criminal minds- and I also used elements from season 3 episode 15. This also kinda helps explain a lot of my writing choices throughout the whole series if you’re curious. I did my first real attempt at foreshadowing in this series, I hope you all enjoy it! Thank you for all the love and support on this series- with a special thanks to @spencerreidsmiles and @andiebeaword -you all have been so lovely and amazing.

Warnings (All warnings for the whole series are on series Masterlist): Sad Spencer, References to past drug use, References to past suicidal behaviors, Small panic attack, Hopeful Spencer, Unreliable narrator (much less so in this chapter)

Main Masterlist | The 5 Stages Masterlist Word Count: 3.5k (longest chapter)

It’s been a year; One full year since they had died in my arms. One full year since they had been shot so cruelly by a heartless unsub in an alley. One full year since I had been graced with their presence and the sound of their voice.

The elements of my emotions were extremely complex according to my therapist, and surprisingly I found myself starting to feel the benefits with them more every time I went to an individual session or a group session. It was hard for me to realize that I would have to learn to accept my situation.

It was hard to learn how to understand my own emotions when I had been so willing to shut them out, to try and convince myself that they didn’t exist.

I had begun to learn that I carried around the water that felt like I could drown in, the fire that burned so hot that anyone near it would get burned, the earth that I had wished would bury me with the pebbles I had chosen to cope with, and even the polluted air of my sadness around with me everyday. But, now I somewhat accepted the fact that they would always be with me, or at least I was trying to.

I had to learn to accept.

Even if it hurt I had to learn to at least try.

The next goal I had been given by the therapist was the most daunting of my tasks yet in my opinion. Trying to convince myself to open the boxes in the corner of the bedroom I had once shared with Y/N was harder than trying to get clean. The thought that had propelled me forward into getting clean was that I felt as though I would be disrespecting Y/N by not staying clean. They had been the reason all those years ago that I had spilled the clear liquid down the toilet and I needed to do it again, if only for them.

The boxes were something that were easier to ignore. I could ignore them by turning my back to the stack of boxes, choosing instead to stare at the painted walls of my apartment instead. There was no reason for me to stop ignoring the boxes, no one was trying to pressure me to open them besides my therapist. Everyone else in my life had no expectations for me to open them at any time, if ever, including Y/N’s family.

But, it had begun to feel like maybe I could try to attempt to open the boxes. I wasn’t sure what had finally prompted my brain into thinking that perhaps it would be a good thing to stop ignoring it. I stopped trying to understand why my mind works the way it does long ago, I had poured enough time into my life thinking about that.

I had felt this overwhelming urge to be able to look back at things that once belonged to them with some semblance of peace. I wanted to enjoy the memories we had together once more. I was tired of letting the memories get soiled by the unsub, I deserved to still think back on the one that I loved with a smile. I deserved to be able to preserve their memories with happiness and not let them sour with sadness. I wouldn’t let the unsub be able to kill something else while he was behind bars, my memories.

I was ready.

I was ready to open those boxes.

I was ready to at least try.

I was ready to try and look back at the memories.

I wasn’t going to let their memory die too.

My first attempt to open the boxes in the corner of my bedroom consisted of me staring for two hours at the stacks. I knew that I at least wanted to try to attempt to open a box, even if it was the smallest of the bunch.

That day I had gotten the lid of one of the boxes open. That was as much as I could handle emotionally in that moment. There was a small part of myself that wanted to push myself to look inside the box, but I couldn’t do it that night. That night I laid down on the bed, again facing the wall, unwilling to look at the boxes. I knew if I did I’d feel as if I had failed and I had to keep trying to convince myself that small progress was still progress.

I tried again despite the swirling anxiety in the hole in my chest.

I was still willing because I still wanted to have my memories unsullied by sadness.

I still knew that I deserved that despite my volatile elemental emotions threatening to push me into another toxic loop.

The next time I tried to look in the box I had previously opened just a little I immediately got choked, recognizing the contents sat at the top surrounded by other smaller insignificant items. I only managed to grab one of their old tchotchkes that used to sit on their desk in the bullpen. It was insignificant enough of an item that it didn’t make me fall into an endless loop of my emotions. I clutched it all night while I tried to sleep, though I still faced away from the boxes.

I hadn’t given up yet I still wanted to try, if only for them.

I would still try for them, even if I didn’t succeed, I still felt better for trying.

It had taken me awhile to muster up the courage to look at the box again, even though I still wanted to try I was scared that the contents would be too much for my fragile psyche. What I had gotten a glimpse of at the top of the box was something that used to be important for Y/N.

The next time I tried to look I successfully managed to pick up the item that had triggered the painful memory in my mind. It was ironically, it was another box.

The box wasn’t something that was explicitly tied to memories that we shared together. I knew it to be a music box from their childhood, given to them by someone that had meant so much to them. Out of curiosity I cranked the knob on the side and slowly opened the lid, wondering if I could handle the sounds of a song that I had often heard every time they had opened it to listen to the twinkle of the box they cherished.

As soon as the beginning notes of Swan Lake floated into the air I slammed to top shut, unwilling to open up the box of my emotions all the way just yet. I knew I couldn’t get rid of it, it was too important of an artifact in Y/N’s life. Though I knew that this wasn’t something I could keep to myself, this belonged to Y/N’s family. I clutched the box for a second in my arms when I came to the realization that the trinket should be with someone else as if it would be cruelly ripped from my arms right then and there. I felt a little fire being stoked in my belly at the thought of people taking it from me, even though there was no one there in my lonely apartment with me.

I started a breathing exercise that my therapist had told me to use when I felt like this. No matter how much it pained me to admit it, it did help immensely in snuffing out the emotions when I could feel them begin to spiral out of control.

I couldn’t let myself fall into an endless loop of volatile emotions again. I had worked hard to get clean after I had started to write my amends. It had been a hard uphill battle even after I had written down my amends, my grief hadn’t magically gone away that day. Getting clean had been much harder without my rock and the person who had helped me get clean the first time around. I wouldn’t disrespect their memory by going back to dilaudid again.

Once the initial fear began to fade and my breathing had grown steady I forced myself to loosen my grip on the music box. I then carefully set it down in a place that would be suitable enough for a stack of things I’d pass off to other people that had been important to them. I hoped I’d soon be ready to make a donation pile despite that I despised the mere thought of giving something away that belonged to them to a mere stranger.

It was already too much for today, I could only bear looking at the one item. I didn't know how I’d be able to handle it if the box was filled with more trinkets that were important to them. I did however find myself thinking when I laid down on my bed for the night after a hot shower to relax my mind. I found my mind thinking about the trinkets they’d had an affinity for collecting. It still brought tears to my eyes to think about giving away their stuff, even if it was to people who also mattered in their life. But, I found myself thinking about their old cute little trinkets without as much pain, though it was definitely still there.

Maybe tomorrow when I try, I’d do better.

The small box that I had begun to unpack over a series of days didn’t hold anything else seemingly important to Y/N’s life. Besides the music box I had found prior, the small box was only filled with unimportant trinkets that thankfully didn’t spark much meaning in my mind. It was obvious that when the team had initially helped me to put their stuff away until I was ready that things had been put away in a slight haste. They must’ve done it so quickly as a way to try and help me. The animosity that I had held towards my team for the last year because of Y/N’s death had been slowly melting away over time. I still wasn’t as friendly as I had been before, but I knew my frigid nature after the event hadn’t been justified. I knew now that they had only my best interests at heart, even if they didn’t always pinpoint what they were correctly. I had even begun to regain some of my desk duties once I had gotten clean. It had felt good to feel somewhat normal even though the sight of their desk directly across from mine and their still empty round table chair still made my heart pang with grief.

I had even begun texting them more frequently again, though I was still aversive to text, so I guess it still wasn’t that often. Some things really do never change despite the fact that my life had turned on its head in the past year. I had even begun to write letters to my mom again.

I knew I was lucky to still have people by my side, even if it wasn’t the one I knew deep down I still wanted with me.

I thought I could have at least done the box without crying anymore.

That was until I found something at the bottom of the box that made the dam holding my memories back in my mind break to flood my mind. The book would probably seem inconsequential compared to the rest of the items that I knew sat in the other boxes. Most people would assume after just looking at the surface level what items of Y/N’s meant most to me, the ones I wanted to keep. The black paper back was well worn around the edges, almost like if I read it too frequently and I wasn’t too careful that the spine would break. I ran my fingers up and down the battered book as I began to willingly reminisce. To other people the book would’ve looked beaten already beyond repair, maybe as if it had not been loved enough, battered perhaps because of neglect.

But, just like me I knew that Y/N had loved the book more than most people would be willing to.

I knew that I wanted to keep this book, no matter how painful I knew their contents would be for me. I hoped that I’d be able to read it so much that I’d be afraid for the binding of the book, just to be able to feel close to them again. Though I wasn’t quite sure if I was ready to dig up this particular memory, it might still be too painful for me.

I remember they had bought this book for us after I had connected with a grieving father on a case. He had specifically quoted a poem to me that stuck with me for weeks after. Once I had told them of the excerpt quoted to me they had immediately grabbed a copy of where it had originated from, a long Wordsworth poem. The book “Ode: Intimations of Immortality from Recollections of Early Childhood” became their favorite quickly, in fact it used to take residence in the top drawer of their nightstand. They had often loved to read me their favorite excerpts at night just before bed when my eyes couldn’t stand to focus on the pages anymore.

When I opened the well worn book it flipped open to where they had set their bookmark last, I recognized the excerpt immediately. My breath got caught up in my throat when the words danced around in my vision. I wasn’t sure if I could face this specific excerpt quite yet, or even be able to read any part of the poem. The book held so many memories of them. This specific poem held so much meaning to the both of us.

However, there was something in me that wanted to try. I wanted to be able to read the poem again and remember the memories we shared fondly. I wanted to be able to enjoy my memories with them. I had come to realize over the past year that their memory deserved to be nurtured with fondness not overwhelmed with sadness.

So, I decided to try.

The memory’s attached to the excerpt immediately began flooding back even as soon as I read the beginning words. The bookmark had landed on the page that had been quoted to me by the grieving father, the words holding even more meaning in my life now than ever before.

“What though the radiance which was once so bright Be now for ever taken from my-“

The tears in my eyes blurred my vision, so much so that I had to stop reading for a moment to wipe my eyes. I didn’t know if I wanted to continue, just those first few lines were already weighing heavily on my mind. I was already focusing on the radiance that had left my life forever. A radiance that was once so bright, but was now snuffed out, forever taken from my sight. My sorrow was creeping in with small little waves in my mind, I just had to hope that it wouldn't drown me. I didn’t want to get stuck on an endless loop of emotions again, I had just gotten fully clean a little while ago.

Even though I was feeling intensely emotional over just the first few words I wanted to keep trying. I wanted to read this poem and smile. I wanted to be able to look back at our memories with love, to take back what had been polluted by the acts of a heinous man. Once I had somewhat collected myself and my thoughts I began to read again from the beginning of the excerpt-

“What though the radiance which was once so bright Be now for ever taken from my sight, Though nothing can bring back the hour Of splendour in the grass, of glory in the flower,”

My entire being could not help but ache as I read the words, still aching for the presence of the one who had been forever taken from my sight. When I reached that part that I remembered asking the grieving man about all those years ago, the words held an even deeper meaning to me now than I ever thought possible. There was nothing I could do to bring back the hour where I was still in my lover’s embrace. I wanted to be back in the moments of splendour in the grass and glory in the flower, I knew that soon I’d have to fully accept that it wasn’t possible.

Again I had to wipe tears from my eyes before continuing to read the stanza. This time a few tears dribbling down onto the pages, marking them with my sadness forever no matter if it dried into the parchment or not. I continued to read the page despite the saltwater that continued to drip down my face,

“We will grieve not, rather find Strength in what remains behind; In the primal sympathy Which having been must ever be; In the soothing thoughts that spring Out of human suffering; In the faith that looks through death, In years that bring the philosophic mind”

I felt a small watery smile creep onto my face, it had been so long since I had remembered to smile with sincerity. I was thinking about some of the times they had read this to me as I tried to drift off into a most likely restless sleep. Though I had always slept better when they read to me. At the time the words hadn’t meant as much to me as they did now, I now had a permanent connection to the feeling of grief that would never be erased. For the first time in a long time thinking about them didn’t hurt as much for a moment, I actually smiled, even though it was rather watery. No matter how small or sad the smile was, I was still smiling. And, I knew in that moment that Y/N would’ve been proud of me.

I pondered on the stanza’s meaning in a deeper way than I had done before. The things stated in the stanza about how I would gain strength from this situation made me contemplate what Y/N would’ve wanted me to do after their death. They wouldn’t want me to give up as I had done before, they had always wanted the best for me. They would want me to gain strength from the situation.

They would want me to grow from the pain that sat in my chest.

They would want me to move on, to accept.

I didn’t know if I’d ever find someone else that I’d ever love as much as I loved them. I didn’t really ever want to, I had found my true love already. Maybe one day I’d find someone to fall in love with again and if I did I knew they would be happy that I was able to move on with someone else. Even if I ever did move on with someone else there’d always be a part of my heart that belonged to Y/N. For now I was ready to move on in a different way. I was ready to live my life without them, by myself.

The trauma of losing them would always weigh heavily on my soul, I’d carry that with me until I rejoined them in the earth. But, I was now ready to keep living, if only for them. I felt less guilty now since I had grown to realize that they’d want me to try and live the rest of my life as fully as I could. They’d want me to try and find happiness. I didn’t know if I would ever truly find it again, whether it was on my own or with someone else.

They may have been forever taken from my sight, but I found comfort in the fact that the radiance they brought into my life would always reside in me. Instead of letting the deep hole in my chest gape until the hour of my death, I’d let it fill with the radiance of their memory.

I was ready to try.

I was ready to try even if I knew the water that felt like I could drown in, the fire that burned so hot that anyone near it would get burned, the earth that I had wished would bury me with the pebbles I had chosen to cope with, and even the polluted air of my sadness around with me everyday would sometimes take ahold of me again no matter how hard I tried.

I’d always carry those emotions with me, but I knew I was ready.

“Nothing can bring back the hour of splendour in the grass, of glory in the flower.”

I knew I was ready because their memory would always be with me to give me strength and to guide me. They’d always be there to help me try to live the rest of my life peacefully.

When I slept that night I faced the boxes while clutching the book to my chest.

Even though it still would always hurt on some level, I was ready to live in a reality where I could accept.

—-

Tag list (message me if you want to be added):

All works:

@shotarosleftpinky @oreogutz @90spumkin @kyra-morningstar

Spencer Reid/CM:

@calm-and-doctor @destiny-tsukino @safertokiss @slutforthegubes

5 stages of grief:

@joonie-centric @tatesimper @half-blood-dork @mcntsee @illuxions-x @rainsong01 @nomajdetective @loveheathens @day-n-night-dreamer @reidbuck

#spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid angst #criminal minds x reader #spencer reid series #criminal minds #matthew gray gubler x reader #matthew gray gubler #5 stages of grief series #5 stages of grief

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