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flowersandbigteeth · 5 months

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Your orc husband comes to fetch you

A little thing to start 2024. I've gotten lots of requests for more orcs ^_^

General Plot: Your husband finds out you've been injured in battle and comes to fetch you.

Orc (Reven) x GN reader

Word count: 1K-ish

More SFW fics

TW: Mention of amputation, mention of break up, hurt comfort, sfw fluff, size difference

“Heard the news?” Reven’s client asked, a brave move considering the razor at his throat.

Skilled fingers never wavering as he drew the blade across his client's chin, he let out a bored grunt, focused on his task.

“There’s rarely any news that hasn't made it through the shop.”

His client’s eyes twinkled, eager to share some gossip.

“They say the Dragon Slayer is retiring.”

Reven’s graceful stroke paused, and he pulled his hand back before he sliced the man's cheek.

“Oh? I thought they’d never give up their crusade.”

“Word is the crusade is over. The dragons pillaging Walker’s Keep are dead. The slayer killed them all.”

Reven took a deep breath before asking his next question.

“Will they be returning to their homeland?”

The client snorted.

“If they ever leave the hospital. They were gravely wounded in the final battle. Thank the Goddess the dragon’s gone, they won't be doing much-”

The razor clattered to the floor with a metallic clang, and Reven’s feet carried him out the front door of his barbershop without a word to the half-shaved client sitting in his chair.

He left his crinkled apron in the dirt as he mounted his horse and steered her towards the road to Walker’s Keep.

–

“Come on hero, eat a little,” one of the nurses at the clinic urged you, holding up a spoon of oatmeal.

You waved it away with your remaining hand, your face a miserable, twisted version of itself.

She huffed, getting annoyed.

“You haven't eaten in three days! It's only a hand. Some of the people here have lost brain matter, their genitals…You've already killed the dragons. You don't need-”

A clamor outside the door of your hospital room cut off her little tirade.

An orderly’s deep voice drifted through the door.

“Sir! Only family can-”

“I am family, dammit. I'm their husband!”

Reven’s familiar baritone made your heart flutter. Still, you were afraid. It had been so long since you'd seen one another. Three years and you hadn't parted on a happy note.

The door flew open, and there he was, his massive shoulders filling the frame, emerald green skin as rich as you remembered it. He’d changed his hair, no longer cropped around his ears, but long hanging in a thick ponytail over his shoulders.

He tipped his head to enter the room, dark eyes on you, and his lips twisted around his tusks in an expression you remembered as annoyance.

“Get out,” he barked at the nurse, and she shuffled past him without question.

Your voice was only a murmur.

“You came.”

“Of course, I came. I would have come sooner, but someone failed to send their spouse a note mentioning they’d lost their hand!”

Your eyes dipped, full of shame.

You'd left Reven on a cold December night. He'd begged you not to go, cried, yelled, and made you a million promises if you'd just let someone else handle the mission. But no, you had to be a hero, and look what that brought you. You were broken and useless, alone in a hospital bed.

“Stop thinking so hard,” he muttered, chestnut eyes roving over you, ever analytical.

He crossed the room and plopped down on the bed, holding his hand out.

“What?” you asked.

“Let me see it.”

You stretched your bandaged stump to him, and he fingered it gingerly. For an Orc he had nimble fingers honed by years as a barber.

“Bah…Just a scratch.”

He gently placed it in his lap, twisting his body so the two of you were face to face.

“It's my sword hand. I'll never kill another dragon.”

His head tipped to the side.

“I've heard the dragons are dead.”

“They are, but-”

“But nothing. You accomplished your mission…sacrificed for the kingdom…It's time to come home.”

You blinked at him, tears burning the backs of your eyes.

“You want me to come home? I'm…I'm useless.”

He chuckled.

“Nothing's changed without your hand. You've never been good at anything but killing.”

“Swordsmanship was my only skill.”

“A stupid one.”

His lips twisted around his tusks again, but this time with amusement. Large fingers slipped over your cheek, and he pulled your head to him, brushing his lips over yours. His scent and taste were so familiar. It was as if you'd been holding your breath the three years you'd been gone and could finally get some oxygen. When he pulled back, he looked down at you, expression solemn.

“I wrote you letters. You never wrote back. Did you toss them all out?”

You shook your head, trying to hold the tears back. The Dragon Slayer crying was embarrassing. You nodded to the small chest where the nurses had placed your belongings.

Reven crossed the room, opening the box and pulling out a stack of letters tied with a green ribbon you’d come across.

“I didn’t know what to say. I felt…guilty…I guess.”

He tossed them on your lap, narrowing his eyes at you.

“Hello. I love you, would have sufficed.”

“I’m sorry, Reven. I left and ruined myself when I could have been home with you. I could have been happy.”

“You killed the dragons, accomplished your goal…You aren’t happy?”

“It feels emptier than I thought it would. I left you alone. Anything could have happened to you, and I would have lost my chance to see you again.”

He chuckled.

“I’m not helpless.”

“I left you alone. It’s unforgivable.”

“That’s for me to decide.”

You looked up at him, searching his eyes.

“You’d forgive me? I don’t deserve it. I got hurt. You told me this would happen, and I didn’t listen. Now I’m just a burden and a fool.”

He sighed and pushed you to the side, sliding into bed with you before pulling you back into his lap. His nose grazed the column of your neck, and you felt him breathe in your scent.

“Maybe a fool, but never a burden, and being foolish doesn’t make you unlovable. I missed you (Y/N).”

“I missed you, too.”

“You weren’t the only fool.”

“You started dating another bloodthirsty idiot while I was away?”

“I should have come with you. I was angry at you, but that didn’t last long. Then I was bitter you hadn’t asked me to join you, and I didn’t insist.”

“Kharma caught up to me.”

“If you hadn’t lost your hand, would you still be gallivanting over the countryside fighting monsters?”

“Probably.”

He buried his face in your neck, and you felt the slight wetness of tears against your skin.

“I don’t think it was Kharma…I think it was Fate.”

“Fate?”

“Fate spared two idiots unwilling to budge.”

You sat on those words for a few minutes, the heat of Reven’s body seeping into your bones. You could never quite get warm the entire time you’d been gone, no matter how many furs you donned. You always felt cold, even with the heat of the dragon’s flame singing the tips of your eyelashes.

“Don’t leave again,” he whispered.

“It wasn’t worth it. I’d read and reread your letters all those lonely nights, wishing I had the strength to abandon my quest and return. I was afraid…I’ve never been afraid before. I’ve killed monsters my whole life and never felt fear, but the thought that you might reject me if I walked through those doors…that I’d come home to find some other lover warming your bed…our home…”

You felt Reven smile into your skin.

“There aren’t too many half-feral sword-wielding jocks roaming around Elderoak. That’s what I go for.”

“Thank you for coming to get me, Reven.”

“I should have come sooner.”

“I wouldn’t have listened.”

“I’m bigger than you. I should have thrown you over my shoulder and taken you home.”

“And now…?”

“You could walk…or I could throw you over my shoulder anyway if you like that sort of thing.”

You twisted your body to snuggle deeper into Reven’s arms. You finally felt warm for the first time in three years.

“Did the doctor clear you to leave?”

“They’ve done all they can…they were waiting on me to eat.”

You felt his chest shudder as he chuckled.

“You don’t want cold hospital gruel? Spoiled.”

“Not spoiled enough. I miss your cooking. I want to go home.”

He hopped to his feet, making you jump as he hoisted you princess-style into his arms.

“I’ll come back for your things,” he promised as he carried you out the door.

“Forget about it…It’s just armor and weapons I don’t need anymore. The letters are the only things I want to keep.”

“Are you sure? They’re a little sad. I missed you so badly…I whined more than anything.”

“I want them to…remember how unfair it was…everything I put you through to stroke my own pride.”

He lifted you up to his lips to press a heavy kiss into your forehead.

“Even if you forget, I’ll make you remember. You left, but I let you go. I’m sorry for that (Y/N).”

“Then we’re both sorry.”

Your stomach grumbled loudly, and Reven laughed again.

“Sorry and hungry. Think you can get down some tavern food? It’s not my cooking, but you can’t wait to eat until we get back to Elderoak.”

You looked up at him, cupping his thick jaw with your remaining hand.

“In your company, it’s just as good.”

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scaryspears · 10 months

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Mortal Kombat x Bimbo Reader

Another test run, and these are just bullet points not full blown stories. I've already written another bimbo reader post so I suggest checking that out. Please do requests if this isn't enough.

This one is just Bi Han, Kuai Liang, Hanzo, Shang Tsung and Johnny.

"I need to die looking good."

Bi Han Noob Saibot

He doesn't understand your constant need to dress up and put makeup on, but he won't say anything about it. A lot of women are just like that, so Bi Han just figured it's a female thing. Misogynistic of him, but he doesn't care.

While seeing him training you gladly set up a chair and watched him from afar whilst drinking a cocktail, and you've attached yourself to him ever since. He couldn't take you seriously at first, but he could only admit to himself that your dense personality was a little adorable.

When the blood got too much you would hide your face in his chest, which he didn't mind even though some makeup stains would go on his clothes.

When he returned as Noob Saibot he swore to make you drop dead gorgeous, even if you already were. But you would join him in death as his revenant lover. Quan Chi was sure to give you the best manicures so long as you were loyal to him.

Kuai Liang

As a man that puts Lin Kuei traditions in high regard he could understand your need for the newest fashion and dressing well. He showed you his wardrobe and you decided to copy his style, which he found adorable.

He likes having tea with you, but you're certain he must try a frappe or at least a smoothie.

Kuai isn't one for public affection, Lin Kuei and all, but he lets you climb over him. If he's not disciplining Frost or the other Lin Kuei then he's snogging you in the snow. After you drag him into it at least. He only initiates things first if you guys are alone.

Although you didn't understand a lot of things he could appreciate you being there for him to give comfort on sensitive topics.

Hanzo 'Scorpion' Hasashi

It was like talking to a different Johnny Cage in his opinion. It was a bit jarring to have you flirting with him and not get the slightest hint that he's not interested since revenge was on his mind. It was after he was brought back as Hanzo Hasashi that he appreciated your presence more.

The Shirai Ryu are ninjas, so that meant blending into society when on mission and you had a lot of things to say about clothing choices.

The Shirai Ryu shrine looked better than he remembered, you had given him ideas on the layout and studied a thing or two on Japanese culture to make it legit.

When he caught you teaching the new members cheerleading moves he knew he had to be more welcoming with you, because those were complicated moves. And it showed him you were no stranger to teamwork. Hanzo could see the beauty in that.

Shang Tsung

This villainous man came across you giving Mileena style tips and fixing her hair. He had no clue how you snuck into the private parts of the palace, but he suspected you were partially from the Chaosrealm.

Mileena didn't react well to your absence, and after Kitana's rejection she seemed to have formed an attachment to you so Shang expected you around the palace. Shao Kahn was glad that Mileena had a nice person to look up to, so he was fine with you in the palace.

Shang had you participate in the tournament for a reason, but he underestimated your powers as well as your fighting abilities. Such beauty in combat is rare.

Johnny Cage

Barbie and Ken in the eyes of many Earthrealmers, but you two are the 'it' couple when it comes to vanity, expensive taste, and being drama queens.

He is your husband, your best friend, and your mirror. Your super power was convenience and getting yourself out of serious situations, but how it acted up was at random times. Johnny could relate to that.

In the meantime, you could both bathe in the spotlight, and the cameras. And your friends from home can be jealous and gush about you marrying an actor.

It was a match made in pink and green.

#mortal kombat bimbo reader #mortal kombat headcanons #bimbo reader #mortal kombat x reader #sub zero #bi han #noob saibot #scorpion #female reader #johnny cage #kuai liang #hanzo hasashi #shang tsung

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chungledown-bimothy · 6 months

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I have so many Thoughts about the ACOC backup charaters, especially in relation to the player's primary one.

Zac: Lapin and Cumulous are both socially reticent guys just on the periphery of the family. They both serve a higher power that is not the Bulb. Lapin was tricked into it, while Cumulous was created for it. Lapin hides it, Cumulous basks in it. Different perspectives on Fuck The Bulbian Church.

Emily: Neither Jet nor Saccharina wanted to rule. Jet would have envied Saccharina's freedom even more than she did Annabelle's, and Jet had everything Saccharina wanted most. Essays could be written about these two, so I'm gonna leave it there and move on.

Lou: We know very little about his backup character, but we do know that his name is Murdo Brer, and he's a necromancer (wizard) who lives way out in the far reaches of Candia. His extreme interest in the dark side of magic turned him into an oozing, slimy, legless molasses man. The exact opposite of Amethar, the illiterate pillar of a rock candy barbarian/fighter whose life is the center of everything.

Ally: Liam is an outsider, he doesn't really belong there. But Caramelinda went out of her way to check in with him about his well-being and suggest a way out of the castle, if he wanted one. He's the only person she was nothing but warm and kind to. (of course. her husband and daughters certainly didn't help that) And then Ally's backup character is Sir Amanda Maillard. The s'mores paladin having an affair with the queen. She belongs in the castle even less, and, of course, her relationship with Caramelinda is very, very close. These two spots of warmth and kindness in Caramelinda's otherwise extremely stressful and challenging life.

Murph: Saying that Theo loved Lazuli and that he is who he is because of her is an understatement. All we know about his backup character is that it was a Bubblegum Monster construct created by Lazuli. That obvious parallel aside, there's something there in the chewiness of gummy bears and bubblegum. It's candy that takes a wile and some effort to finish. They've got staying power. We see that in Swirlwarden's ability and really everything about Theo, and I think it's safe to assume that a construct that looks like that is also not easy to take down.

And then there's Siobhan. Where this started, for me.

Her backup character was Bitternight Darknibs, a warlock made of sugarless chocolate. She said that, if she were to have played her, she would have been Rococoa, having come back from the dead as a revenant to get revenge on Calroy.

Rococoa's need to avenge her murdered family being so strong it brought her back from the dead vs Ruby feeling like part of her died when Jet did and revenge being the only thing keeping her going. Jet being the one connected to Rococoa. If Ruby had died, Amethar would have lost his daughter and gotten back his sister, kind of.

We don't know how aware of her past Bitternight is, maybe it's just, like, a thing we know and will devastate Amethar to learn later, or if there is a more immediate recognition/reunion sort of thing. But no matter what, it would have been absolutely devastating.

#dimension 20 #a crown of candy #lapin cadbury #cumulous rocks #liam wilhelmina #amanda maillard #theobald gumbar #amethar rocks #ruby rocks #rococoa rocks #jet rocks #saccharina frostwhip #thanks for the reminders y'all <3

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blondephil · 3 months

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hello (one of the) resident phannie data analyst(s) here with some parasocial stats on dnp’s movie tastes! following: distribution of dan and phil's ratings overall, movies they each rated 5 stars, their lowest-rated movies, and the similarities + differences in their tastes

(lore moment: yes i am a data analyst in my real job. yes i surprised myself with wanting to do this in my spare time. but then i remembered when we read dracula in college (yes i was an english major) and i graphed like, how many times dracula was referred to as vampire versus monster or something. so i shouldn’t be surprised.

first up, their overall rating patterns and by ~special status~ (i.e., wall-e, kill bill, avatar, lmao, plus big hero 6 for the fun of it)

dan’s rated 304 movies and phil’s rated 305. both of them have mean and median ratings of 4 with min 1 and max 5.

both rated kill bill vols. 1 and 2 a 5. wall-e got a 4.5 from dan and a 4 from phil (phake phans). both gave avatar a 3.5. and big hero 6 3.5 (dan) and 4.5 (phil)

rating distribution:

i did analyses here by genre but i need to fix the output (i’m writing all of these based on the markdown document from my phone on the subway, but i need to fix the outputs and i don’t have my computer. so those are pending but there are other genre analyses that i could do & haven’t yet!)

while i was sorting through the data i got the impression that dan overall rated movies higher than phil. so, among movies that they've both rated, here's some information

number of movies dan rated higher than phil: 65

Empire Strikes Back, Blade Runner, Return of the Jedi, My Neighbor Totoro, Back to the Future II, Nightmare Before Christmas, Toy Story, Phantom Mence, Donnie Darko, Attack of the Clones, Finding Nemo, Oldboy, The Notebook, Batman Begins, Brokeback Mountain, WALL-E, (500) Days of Summer, Up, The Hangover, Drive, The Cabin in the Woods, The Avengers, The Dark Knight Rises, Life of Pi, Skyfall, The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey, Whiplash, The Amazing Spider-Man 2, Room, The Hateful Eight, The Force Awakens, Manchester by the Sea, Deadpool, La La Land, Moonlight, Rogue One, Call Me By Your Name, Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 2., Wonder Woman, Spider-Man: Homecoming, I, Tonya, Thor: Ragnorak, Phantom Thread, Roma, The Favourite, The Lighthouse, Toy Story 4, Midsommar, Ad Astra, Knives Out, Soul, The Green Knight, No Time to Die, Don't Look Up, Spider-Man: No Way Home, Turning Red, Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness, Thor: Love and Thunder, The Banshees of Inisherin, The Fabelmans, Glass Onion, Beau is Afraid, Barbie, Oppenheimer, Poor Things

number of movies phil rated higher than dan: 55

Star Wars (New Hope), Blair Witch Project, Requiem for a Dream, Memento, Ocean's Eleven, Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers, Iron Man 2, Thor, Captain America: The First Avenger, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, Moonrise Kingdom, Iron Man 3, Gravity, Prisoners, The Wolf of Wall Street, The Grand Budapest Hotel, Captain America: The Winter Soldier, The Imitation Game, Nightcrawler, John Wick, Gone Girl, Big Hero 6, Jurassic World, The Martian, The Revenant, Nocturnal Animals, Split, Get Out, Baby Driver, The Disaster Artist, Dunkirk, The Shape of Water, The Greatest Showman, The Last Jedi, Ready Player One, Crazy Rich Asians, A Star is Born, Rocketman, Once Upon a Time… in Hollywood, Joker, The Rise of Skywalker, The Invisible Man, A Quiet Place Part II, Greenland, Tenet, Malignant, Eternals, The Matrix Resurrections, Scream (2022), Nope, Prey, Talk to Me, Avatar: The Way of the Water, The Super Mario Bros. Movie, Mission Impossible - Dead Reckoning Part One

number of movies they rated the same: 99!

Alien, ET, Gremlins, Back to the Future, Top Gun, Aliens, Home Alone, Silence of the Lambs, Jurassic Park, Pulp Fiction, The Lion King, Se7en, Scream, The Fifth Element, Titanic, The Truman Show, The Matrix, Magnolia, Spirited Away, Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring, Spider-Man, Lost in Translation, Kill Bill, Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King, Kill Bill Vol. 2, Mean Girls, Howl's Moving Castle, Children of Men, The Dark Knight, Pontypool, Inglourious Basterds, Avatar, Toy Story 3, Inception, Scott Pilgrim vs. the World, Black Swan, The Social Network, 21 Jump Street, The Hunger Games, Silver Linings Playbook, The Conjuring, Snowpiercer, Her, Thor: The Dark World, The Hunger Games: Catching Fire, Boyhood, It Follows, Guardians of the Galaxy, Birdman or (The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance), Interstellar, Ex Machina, The Witch, Avengers: The Age of Ultron, Mad Max: Fury Road, Inside Out, Ant-Man, Captain America: Civil War, Your Name., Arrival, Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri, mother!, It, Blade Runner 2049, Hereditary, Black Panther, Annihilation, A Quiet Place, Avengers: Infinity War, Captain Marvel, Us, Avengers: Endgame, Parasite, It Chapter Two, Marriage Story, Uncut Gems, 1917, Black Widow, The Suicide Squad, Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings, Dune, Last Night in Soho, The Batman (2022), Everything Everywhere All at Once, X, The Northman, Top Gun: Maverick, Bullet Train, Barbarian, Pearl, M3GAN, Dungeons and Dragongs: Honor Among Thieves, Evil Dead Rise, Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 3., No Hard Feelings, Saltburn, Priscilla, Society of the Snow, Saw X, Leave the World Behind

i didn't analyse this by genre or anything, but i could -- so if you're interested lmk!

the 5 movies with the most different ratings between dan and phil

- Iron Man 2 (dan: 2, phil 3.5)

- The Greatest Showman (d: 2.5, p: 4)

- Malignant (d: 3, p: 4.5)

- Scream (2022) (d: 2.5, p: 4)

- Beau is Afraid (d: 3, p: 1.5)

Interesting that even though dan has more higher rated movies, 4/5 of these ones phil rated higher.

next, their 5-star movies

dan's five stars: 80

Alien, Empire Strikes Back, ET, Blade Runner, Gremlins, Back to the Future, Top Gun, Aliens, Stand by Me, The Grave of the Fireflies, My Neighbor Totoro, Back to the Future II, Home Alone, Silence of the Lambs, Beauty and the Beast, Aladdin, Jurassic Park, Nightmare Before Christmas, Schindler's List, Pulp Fiction, The Lion King, Toy Story, Fargo, Scream, The Fifth Element, Hercules, Neon Genesis Evangelion, Titanic, The Truman Show, The Matrix, Fight Club, Magnolia, The Emperor's New Groove, Donnie Darko, Moulin Rouge, Shrek, Spirited Away, Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring, Finding Nemo, Kill Bill, Oldboy, Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King, Shaun of the Dead, Kill Bill Vol. 2, Howl's Moving Castle, Revenge of the Sith, Brokeback Mountain, No Country for Old Men, The Dark Knight, Inception, Scott Pilgrim vs. the World, The Tree of Life, 21 Jump Street, The Avengers, Life of Pi, Skyfall, Under the Skin, Whiplash, Dawn of the Planet of the Apes, Interstellar, Mad Max: Fury Road, Sicario, The Hateful Eight, La La Land, Arrival, mother!, Blade Runner 2049, Avengers: Infinity War, First Man, The Favourite, The Lighthouse, Parasite, Midsommar, Uncut Gems, 1917, Dune, Everything Everywhere All at Once, Top Gun: Maverick, Oppenheimer, Poor Things

phil's five stars:

Star Wars (New Hope), Alien, ET, Gremlins, Back to the Future, Top Gun, Aliens, Home Alone, Silence of the Lambs, Jurassic Park, Pulp Fiction, The Lion King, Scream, The Fifth Element, Titanic, The Truman Show, The Matrix, Magnolia, Requiem for a Dream, Memento, Spirited Away, Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring, Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers, Kill Bill, Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King, Kill Bill Vol. 2, Howl's Moving Castle, The Dark Knight, Inception, Scott Pilgrim vs. the World, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, 21 Jump Street, Interstellar, Mad Max: Fury Road, The Revenant, Arrival, Dunkirk, mother!, Blade Runner 2049, Avengers: Infinity War, Parasite, Uncut Gems, 1917, Dune, Everything Everywhere All at Once, Top Gun: Maverick, Terminator 2: Judgment Day, The Shawshank Redemption, Gladiator, Little Miss Sunshine

overlap: 39

Alien, ET, Gremlins, Back to the Future, Top Gun, Aliens, Home Alone, Silence of the Lambs, Jurassic Park, Pulp Fiction, The Lion King, Scream, The Fifth Element, Titanic, The Truman Show, The Matrix, Magnolia, Spirited Away, Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring, Kill Bill, Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King, Kill Bill Vol. 2, Howl's Moving Castle, The Dark Knight, Inception, Scott Pilgrim vs. the World, 21 Jump Street, Interstellar, Mad Max: Fury Road, Arrival, mother!, Blade Runner 2049, Avengers: Infinity War, Parasite, Uncut Gems, 1917, Dune, Everything Everywhere All at Once, Top Gun: Maverick

& their lowest rated movies...

dan: matrix resurrections (1) , thor: the dark world (1.5), the rise of skywalker (1.5)

phil: crimes of the future (1), attack of the clones (1.5), thor: the dark world (1.5), don’t look up (1.5), the matrix resurrections (1.5), doctor strange in the multiverse of madness (1.5), beau is afraid (1.5), black bear (1.5)

not even chris hemsworth could save thor the dark world, i guess (kat dennings, though…)

movies they logged on the same date:

note that this is like, non-exhaustive, because this is only based on their diaries that list the date. i think in reality they've watched most of these movies together. frequently dan logged a couple days after phil which aren’t shown here. procrastination queen

Pontypool, Eternals, The Northman, Nope, Barbarian, The Banshees of Inisherin, Glass Onion, The Super Mario Bros. Movie, Beau is Afraid, Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 3., Mission Impossible - Dead Reckoning Part One, Saltburn, Poor Things, Priscilla, Saw X, Leave the World Behind

movies that one logged and not the other:

dan but not phil: 85

The Exorcist, Stand by Me, The Grave of the Fireflies, Beauty and the Beast, Aladdin, Home Alone 2, Schindler's List, Fargo, Romeo & Juliet, Hercules, Men in Black, Neon Genesis Evangelion, The Mummy, The 13th Warrior, Fight Club, The Emperor's New Groove, Moulin Rouge, Shrek, Legally Blonde, Monsters, Inc, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, Scooby-Doo, 28 Days Later, Matrix Reloaded, Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl, School of Rock, Matrix Revolutions, Saw, Shaun of the Dead, Shrek 2, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, Revenge of the Sith, The Devil Wears Prada, Borat, Casino Royale, No Country for Old Men, Death Proof, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, There Will Be Blood, Tropic Thunder, Slumdog Millionaire, Moon, District 9, Fantastic Mr. Fox, The King's Speech, We Need to Talk About Kevin, The Tree of Life, X-Men: First Class, Prometheus, Argo, Les Miserables, Django Unchained, World War Z, Pacific Rim, Under the Skin, 12 Years a Slave, American Hustle, The Babadook, The Lego Movie, x-Men: Days of Future Past, 22 Jump Street, Dawn of the Planet of the Apes, The Theory of Everything, Green Room, Sicario, Spotlight, The Big Short, 10 Cloverfield Lane, The Conjuring 2, Train to Busan, Hacksaw Ridge, Doctor Strange, Hidden Figures, Logan, You Were Never Really Here, Game Night, Isle of Dogs, First Man, The Ballad of Buster Scruggs, Suspiria, Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse, Glass, Hustlers, Pig, Violent Night

phil but not dan: 86

Jaws, The Terminator, Beetlejuice, Die Hard, Terminator 2: Judgment Day, Groundhog Day, The Shawshank Redemption, Leon: The Professional, The Usual Suspects, The Frighteners, The Sixth Sense, Being John Malkovich, American Beauty, The Green Mile, Gladiator, Catch Me if You Can, Elf, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Little Miss Sunshine, Pan's Labyrinth, The Prestige, Zodiac, Spider-Man 3, Iron Man, Juno, Lake Mungo, Twilight, Zombieland, Kick-Ass, Brave, Evil Dead, The Great Gatsby, Now You See Me, Monsters University, Man of Steel, About Time, Dallas Buyers Club, Edge of Tomorrow, The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 1, The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 2, The Boy, Raw, Finding Dory, Suicide Squad, Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, John Wick: Chapter 2, Lady Bird, The Ritual, Happy Death Day, Deadpool 2, Ocean's 8, Ant-Man and The Wasp, Bird Box, Booksmart, Crawl, Spider-Man: Far From Home, The Platform, Black Bear, Palm Springs, The Empty Man, The Innocents, Titane, Old, Free Guy, The Black Phone, Fresh, Watcher, Bodies Bodies Bodies, Ambulance, Aftersun, Crimes of the Future, Fall, Bones and All, The Menu, Sanctuary, Do Revenge, Smile, Hellraiser (2022), Mr. Harrigan's Phone, Plane, Missing, Infinity Pool, Past Lives, Knock at the Cabin, Scream VI

i’m interested to see how this varies by genre!

miscellaneous non-statistical things that made me parasocially emotional and/or laugh during this process:

they watched nope together on christmas eve 2022 <3

dan rated moulin rouge a 5 <3 nature boy <3

he also rated shrek a 5. of course. (valid).

4.5 from dan and 4 from phil from the notebook

5 from danny for brokeback mountain <3 and a 4.5 from philly

cmbyn, yes, has its issues, but dan rated 4.5 and phil 4

the shape of water got a 4.5 from monsterfucker phil lester (dan gave it a 4)

surprisingly phil rated rocketman higher than dan! surprising because dan liked so many musicals

dan gave hustlers a 3.5. i don't know why i think this is funny, but i do. phil doesn't have it logged or rated, lmao.

a 4 (d) and a 3.5 (p) for barbie!

phil gave twilight a 3. lol.

phil also gave do revenge only a 3.5. tragique.

phil watched a LOT of horror alone in october 2022 (aka while dan was on tour). anyway he's just like me <3

#dan and phil #dnp #phan #dan howell #phil lester #twitter says letterboxd should have been gatekept i say 1) know your phannie history! 2) this is nothing their usernames are so obvious you #think they didn’t know this would be found? be fr!

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reds-skull · 6 months

Text

Not Alive, Nor Dead

[NEXT PART]

Okay I'm trying to be brave and post this before I chicken out, first time writing a fic, and I'm not sure if this is any good.

So, since I don't have time to draw out all of the revenant au story, but I still want to share it, I'm writing it instead.

Will continue this if people are interested!

[this isn't requiered but reading the comic might help you understand this better]

[also there's a Soap pov version of this by Badolmen, it doesn't line up 100% because we didn't work together but it's very very good and you should read it regardless]

“No.”

“I wasn’t asking, Ghost.”

He shifted in his place. Can never get used to Price’s voice in his head.

“You know I work best alone. All he’s gonna do is get in the way.”

Price’s mustache twitched, as if he’s fighting a smile. Bastard is about to drop something to win the entire argument, Ghost already knows.

“He’s a revenant. Strong one too.”

Fucking figures. Still, he could argue he doesn’t need any support-

“Intel is rigged with explosives. And the Sergeant just so happens to be explosion-proof.”

…Fuck.

Ghost sighs heavily like he was presented with an unreasonable amount of shit to deal with. He watches as Price sits there, shit eating grin spitting at him. He looks back to the folder, at the details of this already annoying mission, “you said there are 2 buildings?”

Price snaps from his self boasting to confirm “one suspected barracks and the other an abandoned warehouse. Warehouse contains the majority of explosives.”

Finally finding something to work with, Ghost straightens his back to his usual self-assured posture, “the Sergeant can deal with the warehouse, I’ll clear the barracks. No need to work together.”

Price seems less happy about that. Serves him right. He sighs and drags a hand over his face, and Ghost almost feels bad for ruining his plan to get him to play with a team. Almost.

“Will it kill you to try and work with the lad?” Price asks offhandedly, while organising the folder back to the never-ending pile of documents on his desk.

“You mean again?” Ghost would wear his own shit eating grin if his face wasn’t permanently covered.

Price still seems equally pissed. Probably saw it in his literal mind’s eye. “Get out of my office Lieutenant, wheels up at 0500.” He gets up and walks around his desk to face Ghost, “don’t scare the kid off alright? I have a feeling you two could mash well together.”

Ghost tilts his head and projects the most doubt he could muster at Price. “Yes sir.”

This is going to be a bloody long day.

It’s not that Ghost hates people per se, it’s just that most of them seem hell-bent on being annoying, disruptive, or boring. Useless on the field for someone of his caliber, and even more useless off-field.

He knows he’s not exactly easy to relate to, but he couldn’t care less about trying to be. He’s here for one purpose. And it’s not “making friends” or whatever Price and Gaz has been trying to push him towards.

He wonders which category the Sergeant currently standing in front of him will fall into. By his fidgeting nature and easy smile, Ghost would put his money on “annoying”.

The Sergeant, “Soap” apparently (Ghost wonders if that callsign was given to him before or after he died a probably painful death), now directs that smile at him, seemingly undeterred by the giant man wearing a skull like a stereotypical grim reaper. He has to give it to the lad, at least he hides his discomfort well.

“You must be Ghost, eh? Let’s get ourselves a win LT” The Sergeant says with an obvious Scottish accent, fist-bumps his shoulder and walks off towards transport.

Oh, annoying is definitely winning.

Despite that, Ghost can’t feel like Soap really fits it. He’s unlike the other muppets in the category, He’s not poking him like the rookies do, trying to make him reveal his powers.

No, the Sergeant is annoying like an overly friendly dog is to someone that doesn’t want to be licked. He’s acting like they’re just two normal soldiers on their way to a normal mission, not the unnatural, unexplainable phenomena they actually are.

Ghost will have to keep watching. Certainly on field he will be able to find out his true colors.

On the helo, Ghost picks his usual spot near the ramp, where the lights don’t reach as much and most prefer not to sit, and observes Soap. His fidgety nature stayed the same, but the carefree expression he wore on ground morphed into a determined one, face stern and serious. He seemed lost in thought, eyebrows twitching here and there. He sees how his fingertips flicker, watching flames dance between them before the rapid movements put them out.

Well, at the very least Soap doesn’t fall into “boring”.

Clearing the barracks is a laughably easy job, even without using his powers. Although, it would’ve been so much faster with them… too bad he doesn’t hate the Sergeant enough to send him to Limbo.

They practically run through both buildings, untouchable storms. Ghost has to admit, Soap is clearly competent, disarming bombs and taking down hostiles at an impressive rate.

God, he hates when Price is right.

“Ground floor clear, heading to the basement” Soap relays on comms.

“Copy, clearing third floor, keep an eye out for Intel.”

“I have to say LT, you’re not quite like I expected.”

Feeling’s mutual, Ghost thinks to himself. “That so?”

“Aye, you’re not a major cunt for starters.”

That startled a small huff out of him. What the hell do the rumors say about him? He would have to ask Gaz about that, “Could still change that Sergeant.” he mock-lectures him.

A small laugh is what he gets in return, “I doubt that. I’ve worked with some bastards before, you barely make top 50.”

“Only 50? I hoped for at least 20”

“Got work cut out for you then, sir”

“That I do.”

Ghost continues clearing the floor methodically before faltering for a moment. Why was he entertaining the Sergeant like that? Since when does he joke with people?

Though, he would’ve done it more if he had someone so ready to joke back…

Useless thoughts.

Cursing Price, Soap, and all other stupid distracting things swirling in his head, Ghost takes down another hostile.

The mission is going without a hitch. Which is usually when something “hitches”.

A couple of minutes after Soap’s last words, Ghost sees a bright light flash from the warehouse, before a soundwave shakes the windows of the now barren barracks.

One of the explosives went off… “Soap, what the hell happened there?”

No answer.

Ghost knows he’s fine. Price wouldn’t brag about how “explosion-proof” he is otherwise. But he’s not answering…

“Sergeant, give me sitrep, now.”

Ghost stands still for another minute, listening to static. He checked the last room right before the explosion went off, so he just has to go to exfil and wait for the Sergeant at this point. His part of the work is done.

He should just go to exfil.

Ghost climbs down the stairs and heads for the warehouse, a foreboding plume of dark smoke billowing from its roof.

If asked why he didn’t ignore his gut feeling and use his brain like always, he wouldn’t have an answer.

Maybe he just wanted to exchange one more joke with the Sergeant before they finish the mission and never see each other again.

Arriving at the doors, he sees how the ground floor caved in, creating a ramp down to the basement. He starts making his way down, when he sees bodies littering the debris. Was Soap ambushed?

“Soap? Where the fuck are you Sergeant!” Ghost shouts. He has half a mind to be quiet, not wanting to attract enemies to their location, before realizing no one would’ve survived this. No one but-

“LT…?”

“Soap, why weren’t you answering comms- what…”

He stumbles upon Soap. Soap, who's laying on the grey concrete floor, wheezing and shaking, a metal rebar in his hands. Ghost walks closer and realizes the rebar is going through his stomach and pinning him to the floor.

The Sergeant’s eyes blearily look at the metal “I need, I n-need to get this out…”

He lifts himself half an inch and Ghost sees how the blood rushes out of the wound, how Soap pales.

Ghost rushes to his side. “Stop fucking moving”, he slides his hands under his torso, feels his gloves getting soaked in blood, “let me help you”.

Soap’s breathing becomes less harsh, and he looks up at him, “you… you don’t have to-”

He slowly lifts Soap before he can say another useless remark. The muscles under his fingertips clench and the Sergeant chokes out a scream.

“Fuck” Soap mutters between pants.

“We’re halfway there, you’re doing good.” Ghost lets him rest before continuing to lift his body up. The blood keeps rushing out of the wound, enough that he doesn’t understand how Soap is still conscious. The sergeant let go of the rebar, and is now gripping Ghost’s forearms like he’s about to fall to his death.

After a few seconds, which Ghost is sure felt like hours for Soap, he eases him off the metal and onto the ground. Soap immediately collapses, shuddering and holding his hands around the wound.

Ghost then realizes he’s not sure how the Sergeant’s powers work. Is this supposed to even happen? Is he actually dying?

Soap looks up at that moment, giving him a small smile that looks more like a grimace, “I just… give me a minute to heal, I’ll be ready to go soon.” he uncurls and drags himself to sit against a piece of wall.

Ghost frowns and slowly steps towards Soap and slides to sit next to him, “take however long you need.”

He doesn’t look, but from his peripheral, he sees Soap’s head whipping around and staring at Ghost like he told him he’s giving him a million pounds.

He seemed to find something in his expression (however much he could even see of it), and looked down at his bloodied hands, “thank ye…”

Ghost blinks down, “I hope this doesn’t lower my cunt rank.”

Soap lets out a small laugh that turns into a fit of coughs. More blood rushes out of his wounds, and Ghost internally winces.

“Ha… I think it takes ye off the list, mate.”

Ghost heaves an over-the-top sigh, “shame”.

Soap smiles at him, and Ghost notices it’s different from the one he gave him before the helo. This one is… warmer. Or at least it makes him feel so.

Soap lifts his shirt to inspect the wound, and Ghost can’t help by take a look. The wound stopped bleeding, and when Soap wipes some of it away, he can see how it’s already closing.

So he does get hurt… it just heals. Ghost still wonders how it all works, but he knows their powers work with bizarre rules, weird exceptions and what not. He can almost hear his Reaper laughing. Or whatever you would call that chilling noise it lets out when it finds something funny.

It doesn’t matter either way. Not like he’ll get to work with Soap again.

The Sergeant exhales and lets his shirt drop, “a’right, let’s fuckin’ finish this.” he slowly starts lifting himself up before Ghost wordlessly grabs his arms and helps him.

Soap mumbles a thanks, “did you find any intel?”

Ghost looks ahead. The climb out of the basement won’t be easy on his wound… “Negative. We’ll keep looking.”

Eventually they reach a door labelled “storage”, that is blocked by several tonnes of concrete and metal. Ghost internally curses.

Soap, who’s been trailing behind Ghost, reaches the door and looks around. Ghost is about to ask him if he’s got a few C4’s hidden somewhere when the Sergeant asks him, “permission to use my powers, sir?”

Ghost raises an eyebrow, “what are you planning?”

“Gonna blow it up sir” Soap says like it was obvious.

“...go ahead.” Ghost replies, half baffled Price forgot to mention the Sergeant, besides being unkillable by explosions, can also create them.

Was probably in the folder he didn’t bother reading.

He takes a step back to let Soap Have a go. The Sergeant rests his palms on the debris, inhales, and…

A loud boom makes Ghost’s ears ring. He’s momentarily blinded by the bright explosion before he regains his vision, and sees Soap stepping around the remains of the door into the small room.

Ghost shakes away his slight shock and joins him. Soap’s powers intrigue him… he wonders what else he could do.

Somehow, the intel survived the explosions. Ghost could barely care. At least they won’t have Price on their case later on.

As they walk towards the exfil point, a heavy feeling sinks within Ghost. He’s not sure what to call it, but if he had to it would be “regret”.

Regretting what, he’s not sure. Maybe he should’ve prolonged their walk.

And from a glance at his face, Soap might understand this feeling as well.

“You did well Sergeant.” He has the sudden urge to say. Maybe it will make him regret less.

Soap casts a smile at him. It doesn’t warm him in the slightest.

The chopper blades slashing through air never made him feel worse.

“I guess this is it then.” Soap says when they land.

Ghost turned to face him. That heavy feeling in him just kept getting heavier throughout the flight. Why?

“So it seems.”

Soap stares for a moment longer before sighing. Ghost wants to do something about the annoyingly heavy air of despair around them.

“Soap” the Sergeant hums, “Why did the Scotsman’s prank fail?”.

Confusion takes over his features, “what?”

Ghost inhales, “because no one let him get away scot-free.”

Soap stares at him like he brought shame to his entire bloodline. Ghost grins like he did.

“Steamin’ Jesus LT, that was horrendous.”

“Ah Sergeant, just admit my jokes are better, no need to be a sore loser.”

“My gran got better jokes than this, fuckin’ hell” Soap laughs.

“I’d like to meet her.”

“So you two could battle? I rather not see you die of embarrassment sir.”

Soap’s transport decides to arrive at this moment, chasing away the small joy they both found.

Soap looks back at it and turns to Ghost.

“It’s been great working with you sir.” if Ghost was feeling bold, he would say Soap almost looks sad, “I hope we’ll get to go another round later.”

Ghost hates the hopeful tone in his voice. Hope is uncertain, leaves everything up to chance.

Useless.

“Likewise, Sergeant.”

He stays standing there for a few minutes, staring at the truck vanishing towards the horizon. As if it will lighten the boulder in his chest.

“So, Simon, what’s your verdict?” Price finishes after debrief.

Ghost thinks about the entire endeavour. Not annoying, not disruptive, or boring.

Soap is…

“He’s something else…”

Critiques are welcome! Nobody beta'd this so I'm sure there are mistakes lol (that and this isn't my first language...)

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kusagrasskusa · 1 year

Text

MK Villains meeting/hearing about their (and your) child - PART 2

Erron Black, Shang Tsung, Baraka, Kano, Quan Chi, Shao Kahn edition! (Part 1)

This time, we’ll be featuring…

Shinnok, Dark Raiden, Noob / Bi Han (he wasn’t very good), Scorpion, Reptile!

Enjoy ;) @kryptofancientdreams

Shinnok

Shinnok: My child, where had you gone?

Child: My brothers and I have a plan to defeat you.

Shinnok: Then, I suppose they will have to go through with it without you.

—

Raiden: You fall from the light, sister.

Child: We are the children of Shinnok- you are just as horrible as I.

Raiden: You’re speaking just like him.

—

You: You promised our child the Netherrealm, then go missing.

Shinnok: A couple of inconveniences got in the way.

You: That human actor? Are you the same husband as before?

—

Child: I’ll kill Quan Chi myself if you can’t.

Shinnok: He is much stronger than yourself. Just wait until I win it over for you.

Child: *Pout* why! I can defeat you, so why let do it?

—

You: You need to talk to your son.

Kronika: Why so?

You: He fails to give [child] the gift of the Netherrealm.

—

Shinnok: Have you met your [sister/brother]?

Raiden: She is no sister of mine.

Shinnok: You may ignore the truth, but you know your place.

—

Child: You can't hide from fate.

Shinnok: My fate is not to die at the end of a worthless human's blade.

Child: A demi-god. And Cage proves humans aren't so wortthless.

—

Child: Brother! He escaped!

Raiden: Do you think yourself powerful enough to defeat him?

Child: Perhaps... If you can prove it.

—

Johnny Cage: Your daddy ever tell you about me?

Child: I tell him about you, actually, Ninja Mime.

Johnny Cage: Then be ready to tell him about this, got it?

—

Raiden: How does a human betray her realm?

You: If my child can have a father, that's how.

Raiden: A kind sentiment, with horrible reasoning.

—

Fujin: I had no idea we had a sister.

Raiden: If the reader has a thing for Shang Tsung and would like to see our sister...

Fujin: The author has a story for that? Can I check it out here?

—

Fujin: I won't call you mother.

You: I don't expect you to. You're a grown ma- God.

Fujin: Just making sure you're fine with that.

—

You: Give [child] back!

Raiden: I will not let you or Shinnok destroy my [sister/brother].

You: You fool! This is why Shinnok hates you!

Dark Raiden

You: Are you even going to be there for [child]?

Raiden: [She/he] can live without me. But [she/he] cannot live without Earthrealm.

You: I won't let you leave so easily this time!

—

Fujin: Where is your father?

You: I won't let you find him.

Fujin: The darkness grows over you too. I'm sorry, niece.

—

Revenant Lui Kang: I can never kill Raiden, but I make him live his life in misery.

You: He is finished with your whines, champion.

Revenant Lui Kang: And soon, I'll be finished with you.

—

Raiden: Where is [she/he]

Revenant Lui Kang: You took away my life, Raiden. Now I took away yours.

Raiden: And I will finish with this life of yours!

—

Child: Not. Another. Step.

Raiden: You dare cross me?

Child: You killed them, father. You are not deserving of the name, "Protector."

—

You: Your father's angry at you.

Child: You two have lost yourself in darkness. I trust you mi longer.

You: You forget: I'm not as merciful as him.

—

Cassie: so, you're dad's a god? Must be nice.

You: 'Til he becomes a dark God. Then it kinda sucks.

Cassie: Eh, my dad sees you as a daughter anyways. That's a plus.

—

Raiden: I never could have imagined it end this way.

Child: Father, you misunderstand!

Raiden: You helped a Reventant. You betray your realm!

Noob Saibot / Bi Han (seperate)

Noob: I am not your father.

Child: You may be dead, but you are still my father!

Noob: Bi Han is dead. You are just another orphan.

—

Child: Saibot is not as fun to play with. He's just a shadow.

Noob: I cannot always be with you, child.

Child: Then why did you ever hsve me?

—

Kuai Liang: My [niece/nephew]. You have my mother's eyes.

Child: I am not your niece. I was born to Noob, not Bi Han.

Kuai Liang: He is my brother and life, and in death.

—

You: You left me to raise a child on my lonesome.

Noob: I did what I must to protect [her/him].

You: You'd protect [child] better dead then alive.

—

Hanzo: It was a mistake. I was blinded by my rage.

Child: I actually came to thank you. I want to learn what you did.

Hanzo: How I killed your father? It went something like this...

—

Bi Han: I love you.

You: You have yet to prove it. Spend time with [child] if so.

Bi Han: That will have to wait until later, unless you can bring me home yourself.

—

Frost: I thought your dad said women weren't allowed to be heirs.

Child: No, no. He said bitches aren't allowed to be heirs.

Frost: Your family blood are all assholes.

—

Kuai Liang: I told you, we cannot waste anymore time.

You: If I can beat you, then I can take down my father!

Kuai Liang: Yes, but you can never bring him back.

—

Kuai Liang: So you finally settled down.

Bi Han: Correct, brother.

Kuai Liang: Let us see how prepared you are to raise a child, then.

—

Bi Han: Our daughter does not enjoy watching us fight.

You: You seem to forget; You are the leader, but I am the First Lady.

Bi Han: ...She will have the might of her mother.

Scorpion

Child: I understand. I will never mean enough to you.

Scorpion: I love you the same as my son. Never doubt that.

Child: Then why do you care for them more than me?

—

Quan Chi: It would be a shame for it to happen again, yes?

Scorpion: [Child] and Y/N are under my permanently protection.

Quan Chi: Protection... only worked so much, didn't it?

—

Raiden: You look just like your father.

Son: I am more hellbent than him.

Raiden: Then you can never be saved.

—

You: Who will it be, your dead family or your new one?

Scorpion: My dear wife, I am sorry. But I cannot let go.

You: I see. Then I suppose you won't be needing us anymore.

—

Johnny: I saw this chick on my way here. Literally, smokin' hot.

Scorpion: *angrly grips chain* It was you who harassed my daughter?

Johnny: *clicks tongue* Yup. Not good on my part.

—

Child: I wish I could've killed Hemuri and my brother myself.

Scorpion: He is no brother of yours any longer!

Child: Good. Then if I could kill him, it would be far less meaningless.

—

Scorpion: You took my child away!

You: Why would you care! We're meaningless compared to your dead family!

Scorpion: Bring [him/her] back!

—

Quan Chi: I thought I killed you a long time ago.

Child: That was my brother. I had come to avenge my father's clan.

Quan Chi: Then suffer the same fate.

—

Kuai Liang: Scorpion found love once more.

You: *smiles* He did. Although, he cannot look past what you had done.

Kaui Liang: That was neither I or my brother. Send the message.

Reptile/Syzoth

Cassie: So, what's your favorite bug to eat?

Child: Ew, bugs are my father's thing. I prefer the flesh of chickens.

Cassie: Huh. Gotta say, not what I expected.

—

Erron Black: *Whistles* Ain't you one fine specimen.

Daughter: Half Saurian, half [human/edenian/whatever]. *wink*

Erron Black: That so? Wanna come "put venom in my veins" girlie?

—

Takeda: I think I've seen this somewhere.

Child: Avatar? I get that a lot.

Takeda: Maybe... or furry conventions.

— (Enter Alice Cooper)

Johnny: I wanna kiss you but your lips are-

You: -venomous poisonnnn.

Johnny: Yeah, how do you kiss that guy anyways and not melt?

—(Exit)

Syzoth: *"My child" in Saurian*

Child: *"Father" in Saurian*

Syzoth: *:)*

—

Shang Tsung: I thought Reptile to be the last of his species.

Child: That was before he had me to a [human/edenian/whatever].

Shang Tsung: I must expirement with such a cross breed.

—

Jaque: I know Tiana had to kiss the frog to turn him human, but to have a child with the frog?

You: There's more than meets the eye, my dearest.

Jaque: Don't talk that close to me. Don't know where that mouth has been.

—

427 notes · View notes

starberry-cupcake · 2 months

Text

Alrighty, here we are again

previously, in harrowcita the ninth:

this happened

currently, after ch. 2 (once again, I wanted to read more but realized these notes were too long):

first off, I need to point out something very important

reading the first part of gideon, this was how the dynamic of her and harrow felt like, from gideon's pv in the first chapter or two

this is what it actually was like, now that I have harrow's pv

so, now that we've cleared that up, let me tell you about the emperor

I don't know about this guy

something's not adding up for me

I feel like he's either lying, telling half-truths that benefit him or he doesn't know what he's doing

and none of those options are very god-tier

he's also constantly going like "harrow, I'm gonna let you choose" and five minutes later he's "oh, actually, you never had a choice to begin with, I'm so sorry about that"

I don't think you're sorry if you've done it like 3 times since we've met you

maybe say what you actually mean, unless you're full of lies

he takes harrow on a walk through the clown death star ship he's got going on

and takes her to his coffin hangar

shows her coffins of the people he made to send to the ninth

the new ninth people

aiglamene is gonna have to work overtime

(I can't believe I've never forgotten her name)

and then there's coffins for all the little friends we made in canaan house

:) ♥

except there are a bunch missing people

let me just note the info we got

the second says "no human remains inside"

last we saw them, martita was KO and judith was bleeding to death

nobody from the third as well, and we already have suspicions about wtf is happening with these parsley and cilantro twins

from the sixth, one is empty because CAMILLA ISN'T DEAD GODDAMMIT

the other one has little pieces of palmolive in it

me picking up the pieces of palmolive from the decor of canaan house

there is one coffin for not!dulcinea

the emperor guy says he's taking her with the other lyctors

as long as he flushes afterwards, it's fine

we are, by the way, trying very hard to not mention gideon ever, apparently

just wanna point out real quick that THERE'S A LOT OF PEOPLE UNACCOUNTED FOR and this guy is GOD so he's doing a terrible job

or he's not saying all he knows

or both

all this time, ice cube barbie is tagging along

ice cube barbie is harrow's babadook, which I stan tbh

since she's here to stay, let me show you another pic of that doll because it's my favorite from the haunted beauty collection

so, the emperor starts telling harrow what they're fighting against (or escaping from) and where they came from

this man explains what he wants and leaves out what he wants

at one point, when harrow asks something like "how will you explain all the dead people?" he goes like

he asks harrow about death and the process of it and she says, at one point:

"In cases of apopneumatic shock, where death is sudden and violent, the energy burst can be sufficient to countermand osmotic pressure and leave the soul temporarily isolated. Whence we gain the ghost, and the revenant."

this is important for the later conversation about revenant beasts, which are the things that the emperor is having trouble with

but I highlighted it because I am adding it to my notes of "reasons why gideon could be not dead forever"

I am holding on to all the hope I can get

because if sudden violent death can leave the soul temporarily isolated and not do the due process of transitioning to the river or whatnot

and gideon isn't within harrow or whatever

maybe

maybe she's somewhere else

I don't know, let me have this, don't tell me anything, just

LET ME HAVE THIS

so yeah, basically the story is that the emperor is running away from nine revenant beasts, which were created during the resurrection, when a planet was blasted off

nine beasts like nine houses

there's three left now

I don't know about all of this, you guys

I don't have enough context and I don't trust this guy here

how do I know where we stand in all this?

what if he's not the good guy and what he did was some planetary bullshit to begin with?

what if the other side is the good guys?

what if he's killed by one of our heroes? like harrow or gideon or camilla?

because he's actually a false god jerk?

what if I kill him????

and then we have two last important things

first, barbie ice cube speaks now

love that for her

then, very crucial

the non-gideon mentioning seems to be a Thing

I don't know if I'm understanding correctly but

the emperor mentions ortus

ortus, the one we knew, our old pal from the ninth

and I got the feeling, idk if I got it, that he just assumed ortus was the cavalier she had with her

because 1) he didn't go down there and 2) no body was recovered

and then harrow also mentions ortus, but she says he "died thinking it was the only gift he was capable of giving" and that she "wasted it" and idk if she did that because she's blocking sad memories, she's confused because she's Not Doing Great Mentally Right Now, she doesn't wanna tell the emperor what actually happened, or all three

there's stuff about ortus I don't know, but that sounds to me more like what gideon said than what ortus "Got Blown To Bits With Mom In Ship" did

and then the emperor says his name again with suspicion and I'm like

I think this clown doesn't know

I think he doesn't know about gideon

I think he doesn't know about gideon or who gideon actually is

which we don't know yet either but it's probably important

because she's hercules, as previously established

I think maybe gideon is an outlier

an important planetary outlier

I have hopes

also, another day without camilla

god (not this one) I hope I can make shorter recaps but there's so much happening, I'm so sorry

#luly reacts to tlt #harrow the ninth #harrow the ninth spoilers #tlt spoilers #long post #the locked tomb

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dross-the-fish · 23 days

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What's the worst thing Edward could do to someone he cares about? Or has done

That's a matter of perspective, he's not above being violent towards people he likes or even loves if he loses his temper, anyone engaging with Edward is aware that they are playing with with a stick of dynamite and anything but the most expert of handling and gauging of moods could result in an outburst. If you ask Alice, Edward has never done anything awful specifically TO her but he did talk her into killing her husband and then help her hide the body, write up a fraudulent will and even steal her husband's identity for awhile and help himself to a very large hunk of Richard Liddell's money. He's made her question if his motives were purely altruistic (they weren't) or if he saw a chance to kill two birds with one stone and killing Richard was an opportunistic move (it was). Just because he loves Alice doesn't mean he won't help himself in the process of helping her. If you ask Selma, it was bringing her back against her wishes. Selma's family is devoted to hunting monsters like vampires and revenants and they are deeply religious, to the point that they will kill their own who come back to them as creatures rather than humans. By bringing her back Edward basically sentenced her to a lifetime of walking the earth knowing that she can never show her face to her loved ones again and because of how souls and such are laid out in my AU she has no idea what kind of afterlife waits for her. She only knows when she woke up some part of her was left in the grave. She came to terms with it and even forgave Edward after a point (more for her own peace of mind than his) but she's aware he brought her back for his sake, not hers. I go back and forth on whether Edward ever tells her he killed someone to get her a new heart. Being someone Edward loves is a double edged sword because of the inherent selfishness of the character. He will almost always put his own wants and needs above the other person no matter how much he cares for them. Edward as a character comes with a lot of trigger warnings and while he can be loving, complex and even have moments of tenderness it cannot be understated that this is an inherently toxic and self-serving character. His capacity for kindness does not negate his taste for cruelty.

#edward hyde #headcanons and au

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the-halloween-jack · 8 months

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ｒｅｖｅｎａｎｔ - ｏｎｅ

PART ONE OF 'REVENANT' SERIES Damon Salvatore x Winchester!Sister!Hunter!Reader The Vampire Diaries x Supernatural Mini Series Synopsis: Y/N Winchester was tired of living in her brothers' shadows; she needed to do something for herself for a change. When she heads to Mystic Falls, a town she was always warned to stay away from, she finds she may have taken on more than she can handle. Will she be able to eradicate the supernatural from the uncanny town? Or will she find herself tangled amongst it? WARNINGS: Drinking, Descriptions of Violence. Words: 2,257k Blog Masterlist / Series Masterlist Next Part>

Y/N Winchester’s brothers always warned her to stay away from Mystic Falls; if a hunter crossed its border, they may as well have been signing their death certificate, but, of course, she did not listen. Y/N wanted to prove herself and show them that she was not second-rate. And besides, would it not be immoral to allow these killings to continue unchecked?

Y/N glanced down at the evidence she had gathered about the town; it was apparent that the area was plagued with vampires, and the authorities had an abominable habit of covering it up. Coroner reports were sprawled across the small motel table in front of her, all claiming the same thing: that its victim died of an animal attack. However, reports of punctured necks and bloodless corpses affirmed otherwise.

The vampires of Mystic Falls were careless yet evaded scrutiny effortlessly.

Speaking to the locals achieved little, and she always walked away empty-handed. They had no accounts of antisocial behaviour or people who only seemed to make appearances at night. When speaking to witnesses, they stood unsure and dubious, as though blank spaces riddled their memories. Something else was at play here, and Y/N would uncover it, no matter the cost.

Her phone's small screen flashed again, accompanied by its trilling ring for what seemed like the umpteenth time that day, vibrating and moving against the table it lay upon. The name ‘Dean’ was written in large letters across its display. Y/N sighed and lifted the device to her ear.

‘What do you want?’ She grilled in annoyance,

‘Oh, she finally answers,’ His voice heavy with the sarcasm the young Winchester had grown accustomed to over the years.

‘Yes, I finally answered, though that didn’t answer my question, what do you want?’ Y/N reprised

‘Y/N, you know exactly what Sam and I want. We haven’t seen you in weeks, and we have no idea where you are and if you’re safe; before you picked up the phone, we had no idea if you were even alive. You need to end this stupid kamikaze mission and come back to the bunker. It’s stupid to hunt alone; you could be killed; don’t pretend that’s not what you’re doing. We aren’t stupid.’ His lecture rolled off his tongue hot and fast, Y/N rolling her eyes in response, wishing for a moment that he was there to see it.

‘No need to worry about me, brother. I can handle myself, and you know it.’ She countered,

‘Y/N…’ But before he could continue, she hung up, putting her phone on silent and shoving it into her jacket pocket.

Only two seconds passed before it began to ring again, though she ignored it just as thoroughly as all his previous calls. Typically, Y/N’s brothers would have just tracked her down, though she was smart enough to disconnect all means of GPS location and give them and everyone they knew a wide berth. She even had precautions in place that prevented them from finding her by means of magic, reducing them to countless feeble attempts of merely asking her for her location, and she would never waver.

If Y/N had a dollar for every time Sam or Dean rang or texted, she could stop all the credit card fraud she was committing and live the lavish life a hunter could only dream of.

Once again, she looked down towards her incongruous evidence; she had reason to believe the town council was an inner circle of people in Mystic Falls responsible for the lazy cover-ups and the nugatory upkeep of the town’s safety. The council consisted of members from a group called ‘The Founding Families’, and her research showed they had occupied the small Virginian town since its forming in the mid-1800s, and it seemed to her Mystic Falls has been having occasional run-ins with vampires ever since. Suddenly, both of her brothers' warnings began to make more sense.

Y/N sighed and wrapped an overcoat around her jacket. She could do with a drink; besides, it wouldn’t hurt to try and gather more information about this uncanny town.

The door of the grill whined as she pushed it open, the crowded chatter of the busy Friday night meeting her ears immediately. She forced her way through the traffic of the locale and straight to the bar, deciding to sit next to a dark-haired man clad in a leather jacket with his shoulders hunched over a glass of whiskey. She looked toward the young bartender cleaning out a crystal glass with a towel he had just pulled from his shoulder; the sound of her stool being dragged from under the bench brought his attention to her.

‘I’ll have a double shot of Jameson, neat, please.’ She asked sweetly, hoping the boy would not ID her. She was already 21, though the nature of her pastimes meant she only had fake identification, and any excuse not to use it was excellent in her eyes. Much to her relief, the boy placed the glass in his hands before her and began to pour her drink. She pulled her phone from her pocket, a feeling of exasperation making itself known as she gazed upon the nine missed calls from Dean and the four from Sam. Answering the call earlier had only made them worse. She had barely brought the glass to her lips when the dark-haired stranger spoke up,

‘I can’t help but notice you’re a new face around these parts; what brings you to Mystic Falls?’ His accompanying smirk was flirtatious, and though only an idiot would overlook the apparent sublimity of his features, she was in no mood for mucking about. She returned the smile regardless, hoping to scour him for more information.

‘What makes you think this is a new face?’ She asked, using the same sweet tone she used with the bartender.

‘Trust me, I’d recognise a face like yours if I’d seen it before.' She wanted to ignore the cheap pickup line, though she could sense a blush creeping onto her cheeks. Y/N could hardly believe that this man she had only just met could affect her so quickly,

‘Well, I’m not exactly new; I’ve been visiting for around a month.’ Y/N didn’t want to say too much; she had not yet developed a backstory. He raised his eyebrows, waiting for her to continue,

‘I was thinking of moving here permanently, though, now I’m not so sure with all these killings… by animals, of course…’

Y/N decided it was best to get straight to the case; she was not here to waste time. Average eyes would not have noticed how his eyes tightened ever so slightly when she mentioned the animal attacks.

‘And now, why would that concern you?’ He used a light tone, though traces of accusation lay beneath. This did not go unnoticed by her; was it possible he was one of them? Her chest clenched; she had just met the man, though the idea of him being a monster saddened her in a way she could not have anticipated. She smiled nonetheless and made sure it reached her eyes.

‘I’ve made a hobby of hiking, and I think it would be unfortunate to have my cortical artery torn from my throat, wouldn’t you say?’ She did not know what possessed her to speak these words; could she have been any more obvious? He leaned closer, his piercing blue eyes adhered to her. Her breathing halted.

‘Yes, very unfortunate…’ he leaned back again before chuckling and exclaiming loudly,

‘How rude of me; I just realised I never introduced myself. I’m Damon Salvatore.’

Suddenly, it all made sense; he hailed from one of the founding families she had read about, Salvatore. Y/N felt a peculiar sense of relief. He was not a vampire like she initially suspected but rather part of the secret council hellbent on eradicating them, albeit not successfully. He held his hand out expectantly, and when she connected her own with his, she noticed a very conspicuous lapis lazuli ring adorning his fingers. It resembled that of an ancient family heirloom.

‘I’m Y/N, Y/N Walker.’ She thought it was best not to use her real surname; her family had gathered quite the reputation within the supernatural community, and this was the name printed on her fake ID anyway.

‘I think you’re quite right not to hike in the woods, Y/N, but I hope that won’t deter you from remaining in this town; it would be sad to lose a pretty face like yours.’ Y/N could feel her heart beating; she was sure the whole room could hear it. Y/N quickly looked down when she felt another blush forming. Damon turned to the bartender and slid her empty tumbler back over the bench,

‘She’ll have another Jameson, this time on me.’

From then, the conversation moved on to trivial topics, and Y/N found it difficult to proceed in her inquiry, given she was posing as an oblivious newcomer. A little while later, a woman clad in a sheriff uniform approached the pair, donning a solemn expression.

‘Sheriff Forbes…’ Damon nodded in acknowledgement; this was another name Y/N recognised from her research of the town, another founder. Y/N studied her face; she looked unsettled and nervous, as though she wished to speak with Damon but refrained in case of eavesdroppers.

She sent a pointed glare towards Damon and nudged her head ever so slightly in Y/N’s direction. Damon took this as an opportunity for introduction,

‘Liz, this is Y/N, she’s new in town.’ Liz smiled and sent Y/N a small wave,

‘It’s nice to meet you, though; I’m sorry to barge in like this. Do you mind if I borrow your friend for a moment?’ She spoke kindly, though her nervousness was present in her voice.

‘No, not at all; I should probably be heading off soon anyway.’ Y/N smiled at the sheriff before pulling her phone from her pocket and trying to seem engrossed in something displayed on the small screen. Though her attention was drawn entirely to the whispered conversation between the two founders

‘There was another body found earlier, ruled as an animal attack again; of course, though, there is only so long before people begin questioning these reports.’ Y/N could feel Liz’s eyes glancing toward her spot on the barstool; Y/N was careful to continue scrolling through her phone aimlessly until the sheriff looked away.

‘Liz, you know I’m doing everything I can to find these culprits; soon enough, they’ll make a mistake, and we’ll be able to make our move against them.’ Damon also looked at Y/N from the corner of his eyes before very deliberately looking back to Liz. Was it possible they could be suspecting her? She was new in town, after all. For the first time, it occurred to Y/N that maybe Damon had been investigating the ‘animal killings’ this evening as well, and now Y/N found herself in the middle of it. She took this as her leave,

‘I should probably head off now; it was lovely meeting you both.’ Damon and Liz smiled in response, traces of their secret conversation disappearing behind amiable façades.

Her brothers’ phone calls continued; Y/N was kicking herself for answering the previous day; she should have seen it would make them so much worse. Sam’s name illuminated the screen of the vexing device, and for a moment, she considered crushing it under her foot just to silence the inconsequential piece of plastic and metal. Though reason returned to her just as quickly as it left, and instead, she lifted the mobile to her ear,

‘Hello, Sam.’ She sighed into the phone. She knew the calls would not stop either way now; she may as well entertain them. She heard Sam give a subtle gasp as though the sound of his sister’s voice shocked him, and that was probably not far from the truth.

‘Y/N, hear me out before you hang up, okay?’ She stayed silent, waiting for him to continue,

‘Dean and I really need to know where you are; we’re supposed to look out for you, and before you give me that “I can look out for myself” crap, it’s irrelevant, we know you can look out for yourself, but you don’t need to, whatever hunt you’re on Dean and I can help you, we’ll do it together.’ Sam spoke sincerely,

‘It’s a kind offer, Sam, but seriously, I know what I’m doing, and besides, inviting you and Dean on the first hunt I’m attempting by myself defeats the whole “I’m going off on my own for a little while” scenario, wouldn’t you say?’

‘Please, Y/N, just tell us where you are,’ Sam implored. Y/N could hear the low grumbling of the eldest Winchester in the background, pleading for the phone she imagined.

‘I’m sorry, Sam, but I think I should do this alone’. She said, ‘I’m going to hang up now, okay?’

‘Wait! Y/N’ But before Sam could say anything more; she disconnected the call; Y/N closed her eyes and sighed. She hated going behind her brothers’ backs, but she was sick of her abilities being overlooked.

Going on hunts with them meant staying behind in the motels, researching, while her brothers went out and got their hands dirty, returning triumphant from defeating the monsters Y/N had helped them discover. What good was all the combat training and exercise she did if she could never put it into action?

No, she would not invite her brothers; she would do this alone.

A/N: I designed my own page break for this series; what do you think?

Next Part >

#damon salvatore #damon salvatore x reader #the vampire diaries #supernatural #dean winchester #sam winchester #the winchester brothers #winchester sister #vampire #mystic falls #x reader #tvd #spn #hunter

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strong-with-the-sarcasm · 6 months

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Part 14- taking these wounds to their grave

"I'm battered and broken, my spirit's been stolen, but I'm taking these wounds to their grave. Surrounded by allies with fire in their eyes, for the past I don't need to deny." -Relentless by The Nearly Deads

Masterlist Part 13

In all honesty, learning his girlfriend was a Queen Regent for a different realm wasn’t the weirdest thing to happen to him. Sure, being told that ‘hey, by the way, we forced this substance that tastes like pop-rocks and sprite down your throat to save you from dying again’ was on that list too, but Jason had fucking died. His death was brutal, no doubt, but the weirdest part was the fact that he had been a Revenant the moment he awoke in his coffin.

A vengeful spirit unable to move on.

Forced to wander the earth until their reason for clinging to the mortal realm is satisfied.

It hurt his heart in a phantom reminder of what he had suffered the same day Joker had been brutally murdered, the pain off what had been his second death due to his ‘reason’ being satisfied.

(It hurt more to realize that he had never needed Bruce to kill Joker.)

(It had all been for nothing.)

Jazz was quiet where she was tucked up against him in the large medical bed the Yeti had treated him in, not yet asleep by her breathing but calmly existing with him in this space.

It was everything he needed.

Jazz was truly the other half of his soul, the one he was meant to find.

(She avenged him.)

(She saved him.)

He would marry Jasmine Nightingale aka the Regent of the Realms aka Lady of the Acropolis, he would be her staunchest supporter as the world keeps turning around them. What else is he meant to do in the face of her overwhelming love for him?

(She avenged him.)

(She saved him.)

They still had more to discuss and Jason would continue to swallow down the question that began with ‘Will you’ and ended with ‘Marry me’ amidst the others he needed answers for. They’d only been dating a month, so it would be a while before Jason was comfortable even allowing thoughts of matrimony to blossom from seed to full bloom.

(He wanted everything with her.)

(His Lady.)

(The Lady to his Knight.)

(Jason Nightingale had a nice ring to it.)

Jason kissed the top of Jazz’s head and pulled her further onto his chest before he fell back asleep, content with having his lady in his arms again.

Bruce wanted to laugh and cry in equal measure as he studied the pictures of his wayward son with his girlfriend, laughing, smiling, in love. Oh, Bruce could tell how smitten Jason was by how he looked so fondly at Jasmine Nightingale, the civilian his son had chosen to build a relationship with. On paper, they shared a common love of reading (Jason was classical literature, Jasmine was psychological thrillers), and an excellence at school (Jasmine had a 4.0 gpa), but there was little else to draw them together.

Yet, despite this, the two were happy together. They were in love. His son was in love.

And he was missing.

(Bruce swallowed down the grief at Jason being dead…again.)

(He’d been missing before, he’ll turn up.)

It was worrying that the sub-dermal tracker stopped working while Jason was at Jasmine’s apartment, but there had been no immediate sign that they’d been caught in the explosion or remained trapped in the debris.

Phantom had vanished almost as soon as he entered, no doubt on the trail of what had disturbed the spirit’s haunt so violently. It was concerning how competent the child ghost was at fighting, how angry Phantom became when there was a threat he had to face. Insult, demean, threaten him and the boy laughed it off with a casual grace that spoke of experience, but turn that attention to the people he claimed as his? No chance in the infinite realms that he wouldn’t find you. Constantine had been adamant to leave the spirit alone, to let him exist in his way, but the Magician often went out of his way to let others deal with his messes, so Bruce often took his advice with far more than a grain of salt.

\B, Phantom’s back. He says Hood is fine./

Relief coursed through the big bat, untightening the knot in his chest. Jason was fine. He is fine.

His eyes drifted back to the pictures splashed across the bat computer, the adoration in Jason’s gaze as he focused on his girlfriend was the common theme between all the candid shots Barbara had shared. Jasmine always leaned into his frame or held his hand, just sharing his space, body language comfortable and open.

(He could have a daughter-in-law very soon.)

(Maybe even a grandchild.)

Bruce let a smile slowly stretch across his face at the idea of being a grandfather, of finally retiring from the cowl and WE to be doting on a granddaughter or grandson, spending time with his family while he was still able to in this life.

(A part of him squealed and clapped at the very thought of more family gracing these once-empty halls.)

But first, he had to talk to his son and meet his future daughter-in-law.

Bruce was about to activate his comms, to have Tim get more information about Jason, but an urgent message from Diana, demanding he’s needed in the Watch Tower.

Constantine was summoning the Ghost King.

Phantom had in fact left the apartment building.

Jazz’s familiar teal-tinted portal opened for him to step through while he investigated and he didn’t waste any time crossing over to the Realms to where Jazz awaited him.

And there she was, arms outstretched and awaiting him to embrace her.

“Thank the Ancients!” Phantom exclaimed, diving into her waiting arms to wrap around his big sister, their different temperatures ignored in favor of communicating his relief with chirps and trills.

Worry. Safe. Concern. RELIEF. Protect?

Jazz clutched him tighter to her, nuzzling his soft white hair as she chirped back.

Safe. Relief. Guilty. LOVE.

At least Jazz would never fail to communicate her love for him, even while trying to reassure him she was okay.

Phantom’s core purred and Jazz’s Proto-core echoed it, albeit weaker in frequency. They stayed like that, hugging each other right outside the tribe’s boundary for a while before Jazz spoke.

“Little brother, we have to talk.”

Those words beginning a conversation often led to him being angry or upset, but Jazz hadn’t needed him to be so serious for quite a while.

“Hmm?”

She shifted her weight a bit, readjusting her grip around Phantom’s form.

“It’s about Jason…I told him about me.”

“As in,” Phantom began, pulling back from the hug, “you told him about Amity and…me?”

Jazz puffed out a sigh, a wisp of breath in a mockery of his ghost sense hanging in the air between them.

“I told him about us being ecto-contaminated, me being the most liminal being and all, but I told him I wouldn’t share your secrets.”

Phantom grinned, “Good because it’s about time I gave him a shovel talk.”

“No, little brother.” Jazz got a pained look on her face for a moment as the frosty air grew tense. A summoning and a painful one at that. “Phantom-”

“Go, I’ll talk to your boyfriend.”

“Be nice, not bitchy nice.”

“I’m always nice!”

He only received a scoff before Jazz was dragged along by the summoning, a brief flash of her armor appearing signaling it was a serious situation. Phantom did not envy the idiot who tried to summon the Ghost King only to get the Regent instead.

Speaking of idiots, Phantom had a Liminal to lecture and threaten.

“Hurt her and I’ll shove you into a thermos, mix you into a smoothie, and drink you for breakfast.”

“Creative.”

With that out of the way, Phantom floated over to Jason’s side and poked his stomach.

“You doing ok?” He questioned, concern for his fellow vigilante bleeding through. Sure, he cared about Jason the human, but Red Hood was infinitely cooler.

“Yeah, kid. I’m doing good.” Jason shuffled a bit more towards the center of the large cot, “You’re Danny Nightingale.” It was definitely not meant to be an accusation, Phantom was sure, but it sure felt like one.

The ghost kid nodded, “I’m a Halfa, half-ghost and half-human. When in ghost form, I prefer Phantom.”

“They/him?”

Phantom shrugged, “Close enough.”

Jason snorted, “How’re you doing kid?”

“I’m currently talking to my sister’s boyfriend about to give him a crash course on the spooky and ooky.” The halfa grinned, “I couldn’t be better.”

“Was that a reference?”

“Was what a reference?”

“Nevermind.”

To say Jason was horrified was a gross understatement.

He was so far past horrified he was well into confused panic at the sheer audacity of what he was currently hearing...

“You’re the rightful Ghost King, but you’re too young in human and ghost cultures to rule in your name so your older sister is acting as your Regent. Do I have that right?”

“Pretty much, yeah.”

(Wow, Jazz was a badass.)

“Wait, but she goes by Regent as a vigilante?”

“It was easier than calling her anything else, a lot of the ghosts refer to Jazz as either Regent, Your Majesty, or My Lady so she’s grown used to responding to them.”

“Hold up- Lady?”

Another hum, “Jazz is the Lady of the Acropolis, a former student of Pandora, the Guardian of Hope and Ancient of Peace.”

“Wow, my girlfriend is awesome.”

Phantom chuckled, a soft pat on Jason’s shoulder, “And don’t you forget it.”

Whatever face Jason made as he realized he was courting a Lady, an actual Lady with a title and everything, was hilarious enough to make Phantom burst out laughing.

Whatever, Jason could take the mockery from Phantom as long as his family never found out about him dating a Lady. His brothers would never let him live it down, that he was living out his Regency fantasies.

(Fuckers, they’re just jealous he got a badass with a sword.)

“Where is Jazz?”

Phantom cringed, “She, uh, had to deal with something?” It was phrased as a question.

“Something we should be worried about?”

“For Jazz?” There was a hint of hero worship in his tone as the Ghost spoke of his sister, “We should be worried for the poor idiot that summoned her.”

(Hold up.)

“Summoned?”

“Summoned, keep up.”

Put a pin in that for later. “Why would anyone want to summon Jazz?”

“Oh, I don’t know. It’s not like she’s Regent of the Realms Infinite.” Ok, yeah, Jason deserved that sass. He was still wrapping his head around the fact that Jazz, his lovely spitfire of a soulmate girlfriend had Regency over a dimension of ghosts because Holy Shit.

(He was totally simping over her, he’s man enough to admit it.)

Somehow that seemed more of a staggering revelation than being told he had been a Revenant with corrupted Ectoplasm that had technically died for a second time when he had those severe chest pains, only to be revived by Jazz pouring pure ecto down his throat.

(The same Ecto she needs to keep herself healthy.)

(He wondered if Jazz had felt the connection between them even then.)

An unexpected summoning was a shard of ice in her spine, twisting like a knife of betrayal in the nerves, utter agony. Jazz had little warning, little time to brace herself before she was hooked behind her navel and yanked.

Thank the Ancients she wasn’t in the shower, because whoever dared to summon the Ghost King was not going to receive an eyeful for their trouble.

Jazz allowed her armor to materialize, a slick sensation of water down her back soothed the lingering pain of the brutal summons, but her back plate soon settled firmly in place and irritated the nerves more so.

Just as her helmet locked into place, sealing her fully into her armor, green smoke announced her arrival with a dramatic flair she couldn’t find humor in.

Rested on one knee, head bowed, the Regent was quite an intimidating sight for the uninitiated.

Her helmet, full coverage with a crown of green shards embedded into its pulsing ebony metal, only allowed the green tint of her eyes to shine through. Once her head lifted, the several shivers her gaze got proved how effective it was at unnerving others.

With a breath, the Regent stood.

And so we continue….

A/N:

If you're confused by the ending it picks up from Part 12, my special Jason Todd/Red aesthetic entry for the series. Part 12 to 13 takes place right beforehand, so we'll be entering into the endgame of the Anti-Ecto Acts being repealed soon.

Kudos and thanks to my beta reader @meditating-cat. Apparently I over use commas, who knew?

They had one thing to say about Jason in this part: SIMPPPP

I agree, I'm a totally dork for Simp!Jason and Loving!Jazz.

As for other news, I've been making a bunch of boards for The Regent (and my Revenant!Jazz prompt) while I've been sick, so there's that. I don't like many of them anyways.

A surprise poll will be included in an upcoming part, maybe not the next one, but it will come so keep an eye out for it because the answer will be included in the series.

Happy Holidays and best wishes from me to you!

-Love, the one strong with the sarcasm

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plzfeedmebread · 1 year

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Revenant - Prologue

word count: 940

Pairing: Colonel Miles Quaritch x Female! Wife! Reader Warnings/Tags: None

Chapter Summary: You are called in by your Handler to discuss something important.

youtube

[Masterlist] - [Next Chapter]

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Year 2144.

You fidget nervously with the frayed ends of your black dress. Though the mission was a success, and the target eliminated with no casualties, things did not happen as smoothly as they could have. There is no doubt in your mind this will come up in the report. And so close to reviews too.

Fuck.

Never has riding the elevator to the 47th floor felt longer. You let out a frustrated sigh, leaning your forehead against the cool glass. It does little to sooth you. You focus on the expansive vista of the city. Well deep into the night, the city still thrums with life. A sea of neon lights disappears into the horizon. Smog wafts its way through the tops of buildings, laying itself thickly upon the air. The city disappears as the elevator breaches the clouds.

You push yourself from the glass, facing the doors just as the elevator comes to a stop with a resonant ding.

Your face is neutral and your gait confident as you step forth, making your way through the lobby. Miss Halliday, the concierge, stands ready at the front desk.

“Agent Bloodthorn. A pleasure as always.” Her smile brings you a measure of comfort, sweet honeyed voice a balm to your nerves.

“Ophelia, good evening. Busy tonight?” You make light conversation, as you always do. You hand her the blood coin.

“No busier than usual mam.” She opens her mouth to speak further, but pauses, bringing her hand up to her ear. “Ah. The Handler will see you now. Suite 3 if you please.”

You give her a short nod and set a brisk pace to the suite in question. The sounds of your heels as you walk down the marbled hallway reverb far too loudly for your liking. All too quickly do you stand before the deep mahogany door. Your hand reaches for the golden handle and you enter with one fluid motion. There is no need to knock when you are expected.

Soft gold paints itself along the walls and furnishings from the lit fireplace. The floor to ceiling window at the end brings in the natural silver light of the moon. Your Handler stands at the window, hands clasped behind his back, gazing down at the city below; it would be beautiful on a cloudless night.

“Agent! A resounding success tonight my dear!” He turns to you, arms spread in congratulatory fashion.

“T-thank you, Handler!” Your body stiffens involuntarily at the praise, and you nervously pick at your ruined garment.

“Come now, [Y/N]; even after all these years, you’re still at it with the formalities with me. I’ve known you for nearly a decade and a half now child; I practically raised you!” He laughs heartily as he teases you.

“Sorry James, force of habit, haha…”

He invites you to sit in front of him; a singular leather chair awaits you. As you sit, so too does he, a large wooden desk separating you two. Fluidly he retrieves two crystal classes, a bottle of dark liquid you’re sure you won’t like. He pours you half what he pours himself, wordlessly placing the drink closer to you.

You nod in thanks, taking the glass in hand. With practiced movement, you gently swirl the liquid, giving it an experimental sniff. Where you take a small sip, James downs the contents in one gulp. You let out a small cough and return to the glass to the desk.

“On to business then.” He pulls out several manila folders. “Despite what you might think, the reason we called you in Agent, isn’t to discuss your mission tonight.” You sit up straight when he says this, leaning forward as you watch him unwind one folder.

“A new contract came in while you were out. And as far as I’m concerned, you’ll want to be a part of this.”

He places the open folder in front of you. Your eyes skim over the words. Avatar Program. Pandora.

“This is…”

“Correct. Word through the network is your brother Tom’s been scouted by Grace Augustine herself. Should start his training next year.”

You had heard as much. Sweet Tom spoke animatedly about Grace and her work. He was so excited to start training, and even more excited to put his PhDs to work on the alien world.

“As it were, you won’t be needing any physical training. With your natural prowess, we believe you will be able to master piloting your avatar in no time; gain experience on the go as it were.”

“M-my own avatar? You’re giving me one of these?? Don’t they cost, billions, to make?!” You can’t help raising your voice, but you saw the numbers as you skimmed the file. Those were a lot of zeroes.

James smirks at you with a shake of the head.

“Leave the financial worrying to me Agent; that’s not your job.”

You let out a defeated sigh, but acquiesce nonetheless. You read further. The file goes on about the local clan of natives, the Omatikaya. It covers the basics of their governing structure, touching lightly on the culture. It speaks of the relationship formed by Grace, but also their inherent distrust of the RDA.

James places another folder in front of you. There is a polaroid; two blurry figures, one circled in red. You can at least make out that they are natives, both men, presumably.

“Your mission agent, is to eliminate this man.” He taps an index finger on the circled figure.

“Who is that?” You tilt your head as you try to make out the features of the man.

“That my dear, is Eytukan; the Clan Leader.”

---

[Masterlist] - [Next Chapter]

---

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running-with-the-feels · 1 month

Note

To continue with my revenant AU bs, specifically with Smoke and Hanzo:

Tomáš avoids Hanzo strictly because he doesn't like fire. Hanzo avoids Tomáš because of jealousy. So when those two are finally made to talk, Tomáš kind of laughs when he realizes that Hanzo is jealous of him and Kuai. (I do enjoy both subsmoke and subscorp.)

Tomáš: It was years ago. Like I've been dead, and I didn't really expect him to just not move on?

Hanzo, light bulb turning on: Oh. But you've been avoiding me too?

Tomáš: Trauma concerning fire, nothing against you personally.

On a further note, Hanzo and Tomáš could be good friends (+ or more depending on if subscorpsmoke is involved or not) once they worked past the jealousy bits, but also I think Hanzo ( and Kuai too) would have a cow if they found out about Smoke's past with him being a child that was harmed by a bunch of cultists.

On another note, I imagine those two bonding over having a sister named Hana. (++ Czech name generator Hana shows up a lot. Still need to write my hcs for Smoke's past, but the [dead] twin sister thing is something I will be stealing from MK1. The only good part.)

I should write a fic about my headcanons abt Tomáš' past, now that I think about it.

First of all, please write that fic, I would Eat It Up

Second of all, Tomáš's Hana coming back from the dead while Hanzo still can't talk to his would be so angsty and bittersweet

Third, I love the dynamic you've set up for Tomáš and Hanzo

Hanzo: I wouldn't get in the way, you know

Tomáš: What?

Hanzo: I love him and I'd hate it, but if you two wanted to try again, I wouldn't stop you

Tomáš:.......

Tomáš: You might be the dumbest man I've ever met

Hanzo: Hey!

Tomáš: That ship has sailed and as much as I know we loved each other, we weren't meant to last. That's not me whining or being self pitying, we both knew that from the beginning and enjoyed what we had while we had it.

Hanzo: Oh

Tomáš: That said, if you break his heart, I'll break you

Hanzo: noted

#hanzo hasashi #subscorp #tomas vrbada #mortal kombat 11

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castrianamore · 1 year

Text

Bitter, Had the Heart

DC x DP crossover

TW: Mentions of neglect, Abuse, Death. graphic depictions of violence and wounds

Chapter 2: Jason Todd Accidentally Adopts a puppy(That’s definitely not a child)

First Chapter & Ao3 Linked at the bottom of the chapter

Jason had met Distortion in an interesting way. Anyone who had met or interacted with the guy could say that. He himself was an interesting person. Mysterious mostly.

Another person infected by the pits.

Distortion was young. Younger and more skilled than even most who worked for him on the streets. He held himself like a king with smirks and sarcasm hiding his true emotions. He was silly and he was fun and it gave Jason’s heart a ping through the years they had known each other.

Distortion first showed up in Jason’s life 3 years ago sitting the stupidest way on his chair. Head hanging. Goggles covering his eyes on a cracked and broken iPhone. Feet draped over the top. He was also bleeding… a lot.

Blood mixed with the murky pit water green that haunted his vision. He was delirious having given himself apparently the remains of a morphine shot to deal with the pain so he could even get there.

He looked so young and helpless even as he sat up walking over to talk to the gang leader, and promptly dropped in front of Jason unable to hold himself up any longer.

“I need your help…” he whispered. He didn’t have a mask on then… his teeth stained with blood as he weakly smiled in Jason’s arms. “You’re the only one who could ever help me… another Revenant.”

The aching pool of anger in his soul had been quiet that day. It was quiet a lot of the days Distortion was around . Whatever pit waters flowing through Distortion’s veins existed thick enough to Calm Jason’s torrential waves. Jason didn’t mind when he was around because of this.

“Kid you’re…”

“Dying? Tell me about it, if we can,”a wet cough escapes his lips as the blood hits Jason’s shirt. “If we can cauterize the wound I can explain it better but—“

“You need to live first.”

Cue a shaky nod.

And Distortion did explain. He explained a lot.

“What you and I are? Different but similar made from two different types of the same substance. You were made from stuff that’s been far too corrupted. An unfiltered and dirty substance and I was made from the stuff straight from the tap, pure, filtered.”

He had promptly passed out though and Jason left him on his couch. His employees wouldn’t ask about the ungodly screams they heard in his office as they cauterize the wound. Or the amount of water and snacks he would bring up in the following days and weeks of Jason slowly forming an attachment to the kid. He healed faster than most would have, only proving his point of them being two sides of the same coin. Opposites but the same really. Both pit children. Distortion never said the word pit. He didn’t like to talk about it too much except when it became necessary too.

At first their relationship was simple. Distortion owed Jason for saving him, and hiding him. Jason, for once, insisted it was fine, but the masked man stuck around. It was a slow thing at first. Dis insisted on supervising deliveries when Jason was busy. Then keeping an eye out for members he saw on Jason’s desk reporting to him when he saw them. He soon became a consistent part of his daily life and operations.

It came at a cost for Dis though, and Jason knew it. When the bats came around he disappeared only coming back two days later exactly. He kept under the radar. His smiley bright personality was a beacon of good in Jason’s life for the first 6 months of their partnership. He turned a blind eye to Jason’s murdering and questionable actions at times. Not that he did it too much any more. It was partly a deal for keeping Bruce off of his back.

“Don’t you have school?”Jason finally had asked after month six of the teen always hanging around. The kid was laying at the very top of a huge stack of crates and boxes in Jason’s main warehouse and office. Most of it was mundane supplies. Dis was reading a novel. One namely Jason had given him to read to get the kid to leave him alone for a few hours knowing the kid would eventually get bored.

“Nope,”Dis popped his P on his words and rolled over to look down at him setting the book off to the side. “I don’t exist. I died.”

“Right..”Jason had sighed and rubbed his forehead. Mask on his face. He opted for the mask rather than the helmet when doing mundane tasks around his office. If he needed to go out with the bats he could more than likely end up having to put it on.

“Do you want too? You know? Finish school. Go to college?” Jason asked, looking up at the kid who climbed down with far more speed than a normal human jumping and doing a flip to get off the last bit. He was fast, even comparatively to Damian or Dick.

“I like doing this. Keeping an eye out on things that I need too.”

“You never told me what you’re keeping an eye out for Dis. If you tell me, I can help you.”

A solid frown settling into his face.

“I can’t bother you with it.”

“Kid, yes you can. You and I have to stick together, you know that.”

“I don’t have too. I could leave at any time I wanted too.” A frown settling across his face slowly.

“You can and you do. You know I never ask questions. I never press you for anything you never wanna tell me, but you’re a fucking teenage. You should be going to school and studying. I have a program you can join. I can get you a fake identity. No one will be any the wiser.” Except the bats, but he would do anything to make sure Dis stayed far far under their radar. He’d been managing it for months, and he could continue doing it as long as necessary.

“But I should be here to help you. Keep an eye out for you. To-to look out for the entire reason I can’t leave!”

“You can leave Dis. You can leave anytime you want to.”

“I don’t- I can’t!”The kid exclaimed. Now Jason was confused. The kid couldn’t leave despite just saying he could. Maybe he knew he could leave Jason, but when where couldn’t he leave from?

“I would much prefer you stay close Dis.. if I’m being honest.” A quiet moment of realness. It wasn’t that much of a surprise that Jason had gotten attached. It seemed to trigger something in Distortion that night though.

“I don’t have a choice in that matter, Hood!” He had exclaimed back and looking back on that night two and a half years ago maybe Dis had been revealing so much to him but he couldn’t see it. He was trying to help Dis and all Dis was giving him was attitude.

“I can’t just leave Gotham like you! I can’t just go off and do research in this city. All my answers lie in this cursed city, her streets winding and painful and blood soaked and never giving me anything useful!”

“She gave you me..” Jason had admitted whole heartedly maybe more sentimental than he had meant for it too. ‘She gave you this friendship we share. Our connection. Only we can relate to each other. If we separate, where does that leave us, alone? Again?”

“I’ve been operating alone, Hood, for longer than you know.”

“And so have I?! I enjoy your company. Is that too much to ask that I want to make sure you’re cared for and have all the options for success? I’ve always treated you as a fucking equal, yet now I see you’re nothing more than a child.”

“And you’re nothing more than a fool who can’t see the obvious in front of him.”

“Fine. You don’t want to take up my offer of school, you don’t want to talk to me? Like an adult? I want to help you Dis. You know I do. I want to see you succeed and find whatever it is you’re looking for. Whatever it is you’re patiently waiting for it to happen, but if you’re not going to treat me as an equal back then we have nothing more to say to each other Dis.” Hood had gone too far and even he had realized that. He had been a mentor to this kid. He had let the kid look up to him and now that kid was seeing his mentor betray him. A feeling far too reminiscent of his own past for his liking.

It re-awoke the pit lingering in his soul again. That anger was back.

“Good bye, Hood.”

“Dis… I’m sorry.”

“No. You’re right. I’m a child.” Dis looked up at Hood. For a second the man thought he could see piercing angry and broken blue eyes behind his goggles. A familiar look. And he left the building the door slamming behind him. He cared far more for that kid than he cared to admit.

Even the bats had noticed his anger return. They had questioned him about it but he had explained he had it handled and not to worry. Dick had confronted him about away from everyone too asking if he had been in a relationship but even he couldn’t hide everything from his eldest brother. Dick could see through him. Even if he saw it the wrong way. Jason moved on. He had no choice.

But the thing with Dis was that he had shitty timing. Shitty and meaningly timing lined up with stupid puns that made you snort and sarcasm that left you unable to breath from laughter. So as Jason stepped into one of his safehouses mask off completely having just gotten out from a fight that for sure broke one of his ribs and even had the bats called. He called them and then bolted. Let the batman and the demon handle that one. Not under his supervision. They didn’t have to know he had even been there at all.

He had realized he was not alone. Met with the heart wrenching scene of a much more worn Dis. The man was pale. Paler than last time which he hadn’t even known was possible. The man leaned against the wall with a tray in front of him a bullet sitting neatly in it. Hands shaking pretty badly blood pooling around him.

“Shit,”he whispers out with a smile across his face. “Hiya Hood.”

And Jason’s heart shatters. He goes on autopilot running to his bathroom and grabbing the rest of his emergency first aid kneeling next to Dis. The man pulls his goggles off of his head and throws them to the side and Jason could feel his heart drop. He was so tired. Deep circles sat under Dis’ eyes. An all too familiar blue staring back at Jason.

“What, you had your mask off it’s only fair.” If Dis hadn’t had that stupid ability to calm the Pit inside of him he would already be wanting to go off and kill whatever or whoever it was that decided to fuck with one of his own. His Dis. His bro--

“Have I ever told you about my past at all?”A nervous chuckle escapes from his lips.

“Dis, I swear to fucking god you’re not dying today.”He hisses getting the others familair branded jacket off of him and lifting the black shirt up a bit to see the extent of the damage. This was not good. 4 bullet holes. He leaned him forwards. Only one exit wound. Dis had managed to get one out by himself but that left two more inside of him.

“I know… maybe. I don’t even know if I can die, right?” A slow deep breath from the kid as he seemed to debate on taking another. On if he wanted to take another or if he wanted to just give up then and there.

“Trust me your pulse says otherwise kid,”Jason hisses and moved to lay Dis on the floor grabbing a pillow from his couch to put under his couch. “Talk to me. What about your past did you want to tell me?”

“I died by electrocution, you know? I have the lichtenberg scars and everything. It was a lab accident.”

“Sounds not much more pleasant than mine. I was beaten to death with a crowbar,”Jason admits just trying to keep him talking. His shirt rolled up, he poured the disinfectant alcohol over a pair of tweezers. “Keep talking Distortion.”

“I was 13 about to turn 14 when my parents-- their experiment failed and fuck I was so dumb and my friends convinced me to go inside of it, and it turned on with me inside,”A sob escaped his lips as Jason forced the tweezers in his abdomen and Danny grit his teeth letting out a cry. “And now I can’t even go home to tell them how much I was sorry I was gone for so long.”

“You never left Gotham.”

“I can’t.”

“Dis…”

“If I’m going to die someone needs to know my name. The ancients will come for me eventually right? I’ll be a ghost… i'm in their hands at that point.”

“You’re not going to die Dis--”

“My name is Danny.”

Jason found the bullet pulling it out and setting it in the tray. The kid was crying. Jason moved to get the other one out. Talking. Wait yes. Talking. Keep the kid talking.

“Nice to meet you Danny… I’m Jason.”

He went to the other bullet causing the other to cry out in pain again ice spreading around them catching him off guard. He barely had time to get the bullet out before things wanted to ice over. The temperature in the room plummeted. Even for a meta Danny’s pain tolerance was high. It showed just how much he had grown accustomed to the streets.

“You’re a meta?” Jason asks softly making sure there was no malice in his voice. A weak laugh escaped Danny’s lips panting in pain. A tear slipping down his cheek.

“Yeah, sorry. Forgot to mention that, I got cold feet you know?”

Jason snorted. There he was. There was his kid. He was bad at puns ,but… Danny needed something to cling too. He continued to talk, and the more he did, the more his heart broke. Danny apparently had had two friends named Sam and Tucker. They were his ride or die. He told Jason of his sister who protected him and practically raised him amongst their household of neglectful and abusive parents who barely fed or paid them any mind. Jason was glad he had gotten away. When Jason had asked about that Danny had gone quiet. He stitched Danny up and had him drink water and have a snack. He treated Danny’s smaller wounds. A broken rid or two and his arm had been fractured from what Jason could tell.

Their relationship had gotten much better…

Jason had nursed his own broken ribs as he spent the next few weeks taking care of the kid. The man being in and out of consciousness for the next week and a half. A few times Jason wasn’t sure he was going to make it.

Even as he healed though Jason realized just how sickly he looked. Those dark circles never went away. His skin remained pale. He remained looking sickly. Jason had asked him about that too but he brushed it off like it was nothing. He wouldn’t find out the truth for another few months.

The two lived separately as the next year passed. Jason privately funding Danny’s college at Gotham U. The man acting on his own and doing what he wanted.

“You’re getting too close Danny.”

“You’re being overbearing again Jason,”Danny stuck his tongue out at the older man reading a text book while laying on the couch. The laptop playing a podcast going on about something from space. Jason threw his phone on top of the book. The texts between his brother and the bats on the screen showing the texts from Tim.

“Okay so I got seen I got caught! They didn’t track me. They’re not going to find me. I won’t let them.”

Jason tried not to notice how sickly he had grown. Lessened appetite. Sunken in cheeks. Dark circles, always tired. Always just exhausted. The young adult was pushing himself and he was getting sicker. Prone to getting fevers that were especially dangerous for the ice meta. One time Jason had to throw Danny in the river to get him to cool down enough in the middle of winter because he couldn’t get ice to the apartment much faster. It was what worked, he guessed.

“You’re my underling to them Danny! I’ve kept you under their radar for 3 fucking years!” Jason poked fun at him as he moved to make food for them both. They had a habit of forgetting but Jason and Danny had dinner once a month at the very least. More common than Jason would go see his actual family. They tended to stop by unannounced which was why Jason and Danny always had their dinners at Danny’s place which was right past Crime Alley. Leaving was the main thing he normally had to keep an eye out for. “Do you want to stay hidden or not?!”

Jason’s eyes scanned across Danny’s apartment. College textbooks scattered around the area. The TV didn’t work so he had gotten rid of it ages ago replacing it with a desk with his laptop on top. Maps of the stars were painted on the walls haphazardly. A topic Danny seemed to enjoy and he enjoyed listening to him talk about in the first place. It was like watching the kid light up. A sharp cough and Danny rubbing his chest told Jason one thing was for sure.

“Taking your medicine?”Jason asked despite knowing the answer as he opened the medicine cabinet where the mostly filled container sat.

“Uhhh… yeah. I did.”

“Liar.”

“Nosey bitch.”

“Says you.”

Danny flipped him off as he caught the container that was thrown at him giving him a final sticking out of his tongue. Danny opened the container pulling out the pill making eye contact with Jason before popping it into his mouth and swallowing.

“You’re like trying to get a child to take their vitamins I swear to god,”Jason rolled his eyes as Danny threw the container back at him. Jason had convinced the man to take some sort of medicine for his shitty body. Danny refused a doctor and all of those tests so they had to make due. Danny took a lot of medicine overall. Some anti-anxiety medication, depression meds(that jason may or may not have been supposed to be taking), as well as some medicine to help with his heart. His heart acted up a lot and it gave Danny a lot of issues in school. Jason swore it wasn’t just his meta powers affecting the man. His heart also didn’t help his already naturally cold body.

“Nah this is easier than you trying to get me to read a classic novel.”

“They’re good Danny.”

“They’re old Jason,”Danny replied snapping his own textbook shut. Jason catching glimpse of the cover.

“Reading up on the transdimensional portal theory?”he chuckles.

“It’s interesting, okay! Didn’t that one dude, what’s his name apart of the super hero girl scout club thingy? He runs really fast?” God did Jason love this kid.

“You mean Flash.”

“YEAH HIM! Didn’t he manage to do it once?” Maybe one day Jason could introduce Danny to his family. One day when Danny wasn’t investigating a very serious murder. One day when he wasn’t so sickly. He also just wanted Danny to look the justice league in the face and mis-name them all. The kid recognized no one. Even now he’d never been out of the city and rather didn’t care for anything outside of it anyways. Jason tried to take him to Bludhaven once and still, to no avail.

“I think so,”Jason grabbed a pan and began to cook the impossible meat for their tacos. He moved to cut some tacos and other vegetables. Was that a fucking batarang?

“Did you get attacked by one of the Bats when you ran into them?!?!” Jason exclaimed looking over at Danny.

“Uhhhhh… no?”

“Danny!”

“I’m fine just hit me in the leg!”

“Let me see it you dumb fuck.”

“Bitch.”

“I’m the one taking care of you!”

“Ancients your worse than Jazz,”he groaned moving to set his hand on the table rolling up his pants to show a neatly wrapped wound that was bleeding through. Cue a groan from Jason as he walked over sitting on the coffee table and moving Danny’s leg into his lap as he unwrapped it to double check the wound. He knew Danny could take care of himself. That was an unspoken rule with how injured he constantly got. Like he was used to fighting a different way than he currently did.

The wound was a clean cut and Danny had already seemed to clean around it at some point. It helped that all of the bats kept their batarangs sharp so he was thankfully for that. “This needs stitches Danny…”

“It’s not that bad,”Danny tried to move to rewrap the wound but Jason stopped him giving him a dangerous look and Danny’s hands went up.

“Okay fine.” He leaned back arms crossed. Jason could tell he was a little upset. He got up being gentle with his leg setting it off to the side going for Danny’s first aid kit and moving to get to work on sewing the wound shut. Danny flinched and occasionally made a small noise of discomfort but he handled it well.

“Wanna talk about that case of yours since I’m going to be covering your ass until forever if you don’t lay the fuck, low.” A mild threat.

“15 bodies! 15! The oldest dating back to when we first met in Gotham. They were slow at first you know? Only 2 murders the first year, each one more gruesome than the last. 5 the second year and now on year 3 and we have 8 within the first 6 months. These numbers? They’re only going to grow.”

“Each one with the same traits. Missing heart. Tortured victims. Ghost Speak on the walls.” A defining indifference between when. Danny constantly joked he was far closer to being dead than alive with Jason. He just a ‘hop skip and a jump’ away or really Danny’s favorite line he just had to jump 2 times ‘till he was among the dead and maybe do a little cha cha real smooth on his way over. Danny knew ghost speak. Was fluent in reading, writing, and speaking it but he wasn’t far enough over to the dead side to automatically know it. Danny’d been teaching him though.

“And an occasional missing kidney that someone wanted for a snack,” Jason clarified having heard the details of this case 20 times over.

“The ghost speak is the same every time,”he groaned as Jason hit a particularly harsh part of the stitching. “Belong, to live, to die, again, trust not the living friend.”

“That’s so cryptic.”

“You’re telling me I’ve been staring at it in my notes for 3 years.”

“You can’t leave the city until you solve the case?”

“I refuse to leave the city until I solve this case,”Danny clarified.

“Then you’ll continue to work on college, besides I like our monthly dinners.”

“You’re acting like I wouldn’t come back?”

“Wouldn’t you? You’ve known this place and only this place for a while. I wouldn’t shame you for not wanting to spend a second more here.”

“I don’t think I could stay away from Gotham even if I tired,”Danny shrugged. “She has a way of drawing people who need to be here back.”

“So any hints on who’s doing these murders?”

“Someone who knows Ghost Speech?”

“Wow, what a lead. I know you have more than that, come on.”

“They’re leaving trace amounts of ectoplasm around so they’re either a revenant like you and I,”a lie. He had known the kid had been lying saying he was a revenant. He was something more really. Even Jason could pick that up, but if the kid didn’t wanna tell him he sure as hell wasn’t going to pry.

“And your final theory?”

“It’s a ghost. A powerful one that’s making Gotham it’s haunt, but Gotham only has so much ectoplasm to go around you know? And I mean I—“he cut himself off.

“And you?”

“And I know that getting the pure shit is hard as fuck. This shit is pure,”he reaches across to grab a vile on the table. Uncorking it and giving it a swirl. “Hard to find in this area especially. So he must have either a portal or something to keep himself together, he’ll need something to sustain himself with especially with how powerful he is if he’s showing up and doing this much damage.”

“Can you take care of it alone?”

“In this state? No.”

“Danny you have been saying you haven’t been on your full power for years. You need help, more than just I alone can offer. Do you want to take a risk?”

“… what is it.” Jason finished wrapping his leg going to to check on the food taking a deep breath.

“What if we finally make you known to the bats. It’ll drive Red Robin insane he hadn’t noticed you sneaking around for such a long time and on top of that you knowing more about his case than he does. Just Nightwing and Red Robin and then we can reveal to B and Robin and the rest of them at a later date.”

“You just want to see my entire existence fuck with the bats don’t you?”

“Maybe, besides.. they have resources maybe we can talk to them about your condition Danny. On top of all their resources and meta resources available. They even have connections to those in the mystic field if it is a Ghost.”

“No. I’ll work with them. They do not get to know about my heart. It isn’t a problem in the field, and we’re not bringing in JL Dark.” Weird. Jason never mentioned the groups name. How did he know about Dark?

“Admit it, your heart is dying you fucking need surgery Danny!”

“I’m fine,” a low growl escaped Danny’s throat.

“No you’re not! We are just praying this medicine is working and the more you use your abilities the more strain it puts on you as a whole let alone on your heart! You keep using them and you’ll be dead.”The cold green eyes glare caught his attention and Jason knew to back off as he finished their food. Push Danny too far and it would trigger his abilities even more and while Jason wouldn’t be affected who knows how thick the ice would be across the apartment. He set tacos in front of him to distract them as they put on some cheesy book movie, Pride and prejudice. Well Jason didn’t have think it was cheesy, Danny on the other hand? Thought it was dumb as all hell. He put up with it because Jason asked him too. A sign He wasn’t that mad at the elder.

The night was quiet after that. Maybe Jason had pushed a little too far. He opened his phone after Danny had passed out on his shoulder shooting a text to the group chat between him, Dick and Tim.

Little Wing is Online🟢

Little Wing: I have a friend who says he’s willing to finally meet you guys

Tim’s reply was almost instantaneous.

Baby Bird is Online 🟢

Baby Bird: Is it distortion?

Little Wing: The one and only.

Big Bird: Who is that?

Baby Bird: Do you ever go offline Greyson?

Big Bird: Bold of you to assume I sleep

Baby Bird: And you think I do?

Big Bird: Touchè; anyways who are we meeting?

Baby Bird: A new vigilante

Big Bird: ohhhh, when and where Little Wing!

Little Wing: Friday. Midnight, my warehouse. Bats doesn’t find out yet. He’s hesitant about even meeting you.

Big Bird: Wait who is Distortion exactly and why are we meeting him?

Baby Bird: How were you ever a Robin?

Big Bird: My charms 💅💅💅💅

Little Wing has gone Offline 🔴

Big Bird: NOOOOOOO BABY BRO COME BACK I NEED TO GET A GOOD A ROAST IN BEFORE YOU LEAVE

Baby Bird: You’ll get him next time old man.

Big Bird: YOU LITTLE

Baby Bird has gone Offline 🔴

Big Bird: ALL ALONEEEEEEEEEE

Chapter 1

139 notes · View notes

socialmediasocrates · 2 months

Text

MITZIE AND THE THINGS SHE FOUND IN THE RIVER; a wip intro

(intro graphics by @veneritia)

Genre: new adult, urban fantasy

Tropes: Cloudcuckoolander, But for Me, It Was Tuesday, Her Boyfriend's Jacket, Non-Linear Character, Red String of Fate, Necromancer, Child of Forbidden Love, Anthropomorphic Personification, Revenant Zombie, Interactive Narrator

5 Song Playlist: Inkpot Gods, Bulletproof Heart, The Last of the Real Ones, Call Your Mom, Breath of Life

TL;DR: Keyesville, PA's got a serial killer, and it's up to "undergrad" witch Mitzie Morse and yoga instructor Khalil Bashir to stop them.

Summary:

For six months, Mitzie Morse has been pulling murder victims out of the river.

She gets them fixed up, so she figures it's not really a big deal, but there's definitely a serial killer on the loose. One who's ramped up their activity lately, a pattern of escalation in both violence and frequency of killings that would give anyone other than Mitzie some pause. Necromancers have a dysfunctional relationship with reality. Someone has to remind them that death is scary for most people, or they forget. Luckily (for Keyesville, not Mitzie) the latest victim, burnt out physical therapist turned yoga instructor Khalil Bashir, is happy to remind her that she has the power to stop these killings once and for all. Unluckily (for Keyesville, for Mitzie, and mostly for Khalil) a quirk of fate and magic has bound the two of them together. Doubly unluckily (for Keyesville, for Khalil, and mostly for Mitzie), the killer has set their sights on a new target: Mitzie Morse.

Characters

Mitzie Morse

like all necromancers, mitzie has a sense of style kindly described as "macabre" and accurately described as "fucking gross." dir en grey, gazette, and my chemical romance posters war with gruesome anatomical diagrams of creatures ranging from humans to unicorns to, somehow, dodo birds for wall space. her kitchen cabinets are home to a collection of mismatched thrifted cups, plates, and bowls, an ancient, somewhat decrepit, rice cooker, and an array of body parts preserved in mason jars. the colorful ones your least favorite high school classmates use for drinks in their instagram posts.

[…]

"i think he might need a new left eye." she takes a step back to survey her handiwork. "maybe a couple toes and fingers, too. do i still have toes and fingers?"

unfortunately, the answer to that is yes. they're in the pantry, next to the box of gushers. the one that's already open, not the unopened one on the top shelf. kind of wedged between the gushers and the canned ravioli. yep, she's found them. she's never explained why she keeps them in there, to me or anyone, at least not in a way that i'm willing to accept.

"i told you, there's not enough space in the cabinets."

there would be plenty of space if she got rid of all the novelty cups.

"i don't want to get rid of my novelty cups."

she should, they're grungy in the gross way.

Khalil Bashir

"who are you?"

anyway, the yoga instructor, khalil, is up.

he's still sitting on mitzie's kitchen table, the blanket she threw over him folded over itself in his lap. he's twisting around, trying to figure out where he is (you're in mitzie's apartment, i just said that) and where i am (everywhere all at once, but i'm incorporeal so you can stop looking).

"who are you? who the fuck is mitzie?" he's got that high-pitched edge to his voice that people get when they're panicking. unfortunate.

"hello?"

oh. right. i'm stevie.

[…]

"what is this?" he holds the gift card out from himself like it's going to bite him.

"a twenty five dollar gift card!" mitzie stares at khalil. khalil stares back at mitzie. this goes on long enough that she decides to elaborate, "you know, for your trouble."

he looks like he'd like to say something but isn't fully certain what he wants to say or how he wants to say it. this is a common reaction to mitzie. she does tend to just open her mouth and say things. khalil opens his mouth, then closes it, then opens his mouth, then closes it. he looks at the gift card. he looks at mitzie. he looks at the gift card. he sighs, shakes his head, and stuffs it in a pocket.

"why did you settle on twenty five dollar gift cards?"

"i dunno, it seemed fair."

"right."

khalil's been having the longest day known to man for two and a half weeks.

Fatima Bashir

fatima is one of those unspeakably fashionable people that makes everything she wears look good. even, more than occasionally, dog vomit.

see, much like her brother burnt out on the whole "living in philly and fighting the demon in the homeless man outside the wawa for his life every time he wanted a hoagie" life, fatima got tired of having to sit through putting people's dogs to sleep for eighteen dollars an hour and no health insurance. so khalil's a yoga instructor, and fatima owns keyesville's first doggie daycare. somehow, her perfect manicures never get too fucked up.

"any news on khalil?" asks the office worker, passing a tupperware container of cookies across the counter. this is the fifth time today that someone has asked this. it is seven in the morning.

"not yet, but we're staying optimistic. thanks for the cookies; mom loved the last ones." it's true that her mom loved the cookies, but it's not true that she's thankful for them.

Johnny ???

"so, what's up with the mcdonald's napkins?" khalil is sitting extremely inadvisably unbuckled in the back of the van.

"no clue." two sharp turns and a hard stop at a red light. johnny sips his cucumber water placidly while everyone behind him climbs back into their seats. "gotta take 'em somewhere in oklahoma, though."

"how do you know that?"

"no clue."

johnny is a mystery wrapped in an enigma lodged in a mound of horse shit. you'll recall that his previous identity was cursed or something, so he turned it over to edna in exchange for the first of many mcdonald's napkins and a broken magic guitar. some garage sale special of unknown make, black paint flaking off the wood everywhere, strings curling around the pegboard like medusa's snakes. it doesn't matter how many times he changes the strings, or what he does when he changes them, they will always break as soon as he plays them, and the only song the guitar will reliably play is the mysterious one written on the mcdonald's napkins he keeps finding everywhere.

@seasteading ; @writinglyra ; @asablehart ; @zorya-km ; @silent-creed ; @cheshawrites ; @thewritersplace

#wtwcommunity #writeblr #writers on tumblr #urban fantasy #does this qualify as weird fiction #moth the hack writer #mitzie and the things she found in the river

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