something bad happened to you, and you died, and you came back wrong.
not wrong all the way. the little ways. you forget important dates, stopped going out with friends. it's harder to make you smile. you're apathetic towards things you used to love, afraid of places you used to go to cheer up. quieter. flinching. different.
you came back for love. you're still here for love. what pulled you back was a brightness so loud that even death couldn't outshout it. death heard the call and smiled at you and said okay. go home. somebody is waiting for you.
but you came back different. like lot's wife; you've turned into salt. you used to chirp through life in hops and skips; but now you lose skin just standing up. you have to move slower, skimming across this world without-touching-it. most things feel dull - until they're suddenly all-too-much. life, and being alive just rushes up and over you and you get hopelessly crushed.
you try to explain it to them: it is ugly, but this is what you are, now. the huge golden hoop of your halo now a little bronze ring. you are still watering your plants and wearing the same clothes. after all, you worked hard to come home. this life; so odd and off-color, now that you are wrong.
but they waited for you - it's just that they wanted the "you" that happened before this. the "you" that could sing in the show and hug people tight and look at a blade without breaking down to cry. the you with a smile in pictures. god, holyshit, it's like looking at a completely different person, isn't it. that other-you; the one they actually wanted.
you are the consolation prize. you are the body that forgot the ghost. you are the memory of the bad thing, and the death after; like you are wearing that memory as a banner. you are a fragment, an assembly. simulacrum. you don't make eye contact in mirrors, afraid the light will glance off and your true nature will flash back at you.
you hear them talk about it in their hushed, desperate whispers. sometimes they even admit it to your face; harsh and violent, acid thrown at christmas dinner. god, can you just fucking be normal again. you do not remember what normal is. you had to climb so far to get back here; you are far too exhausted. you want to open the glass door of your heart and show all the gears. can you help resolve whatever got messed up?
you try so, so hard. you came back for them. because you believed they would love you, even when you were so horribly broken. because you believed they would be patient. because you believed unconditional meant "without exception." you cannot do things the same way. you just get tired too quickly these days.
you want to put them on a couch and pour them the tea with hands that shake more than they remember. you want to line them up and draw them a map of where you have had to wander. you want to show every bruise in a backsplash; the little helpless ant of your soul carrying all that weight, over and over. you want to say: yes! it is different! but i did it for love!
you want to say: "i'm not the same, but i'm yours and i'm here. can that be enough?"
14K notes
·
View notes
this is literally one of my favorite panels of the war arc.
i am OBSESSED with deku’s perception of romance and how it’s probably based off popular melodramas and his peers’ stories about their dates.
because you can’t argue with me that that’s the reason why he will have no idea his and katsuki’s relationship is so close to romantic. i’m so sure he’s gonna be the last one to realise his feelings for katsuki aren’t purely friendly and platonic. the guy will be like “oh yeah we’re really close and i care about him deeply and i hate the very thought of him being hurt and i wanna spend the rest of my life next to kacchan but haha that’s just our friendship! we’re not holding hands and sharing crepes so there are no romantic feelings involved🥰”
bro is gonna be so shocked when kacchan finally confesses his true feelings.
794 notes
·
View notes
your recent jing yuan post got me thinking..... reader accidentally calling jy daddy in bed
he (to his own surprise) would def be into it,, HE WOULD TRY NOT TO MAKE IT THAT OBVIOUS THO, teasing u instead, almost making fun of you(lovingly)
i luv mean jy,,, want him P̶L̶E̶A̶S̶E̶ ̶P̶L̶E̶A̶S̶E̶ ̶P̶L̶E̶A̶S̶E̶ ̶P̶L̶E̶A̶S̶E̶ ̶P̶L̶S̶
it was an accident! he just feels too good :( and there’s this aura around him that just SCREAMS daddy <3
HE’D SUDDENLY STOP THRUSTING AND LOOK DOWN AT YOU, DON’T WORRY THOUGH, HE’S JUST CONFUSED BECAUSE SOMETHING ABOUT YOU CALLING HIM DADDY TURNS HIM TF ON!!!!!!! but you’re so right he will definitely tease you first before admitting to it 🤭 (even though you can feel him stretching you out even more)
“daddy? really? you’re into that?”
and he wouldn’t fuck you until you admit to him that, yeah, you’re into it :(
LAUGHS WHEN YOU FINALLY SAY IT, EYES FLITTING ACROSS THE ROOM TRYING TO AVOID HIS GAZE BECAUSE IT’S JUST SO EMBARRASSING!!!! you’ve always only just called him daddy when you were touching yourself, you did not expect it to slip out when he’s actually fucking you
he’d grab at your chin, tilting it up slightly to force you to look at him! tells you to call him daddy again! (so mean 🥺ྀིྀིྀིྀིྀི) asks you to speak up because he can’t hear you (he definitely can)
kisses you harshly when you do and practically DRILLS himself into you! if only you could see the heart in his eyes as you cry out “daddy!” from how hard he’s making you come around him :(
408 notes
·
View notes
boys kissing sloppy style....IN COLOR🌈✨
i colored one of my scream'd stuilly kiss drawings from this post bc they are infecting my brain again someone save me!!!!
(pls click for better quality please and thank youuuuu)
this kiss has taken a hold on me once again (it never left) I cannot stop thinking about them
ive been coloring a lot more lately and actually liking the results guys why am I becoming a colorist hold on....
shoutout to @andromourir and @atitanbitch for helping me craft this Tumblr post in the debaser discord vc-2 chat..... which speaking of you guys wanna join sooooo bad join us please we have BOOK CLUB (we listen to atlas read fanfiction out loud) it is so fun
most importantly we have REMI so you GOTTA join now
297 notes
·
View notes