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cephalon-celaeno · 1 year

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I think it's safe to say the curse is broken

#celaeno speaks #i had zero baruuk parts starting today #and i needed two revenant parts #so im feeling pretty good!

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inkskinned · 1 year

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something bad happened to you, and you died, and you came back wrong.

not wrong all the way. the little ways. you forget important dates, stopped going out with friends. it's harder to make you smile. you're apathetic towards things you used to love, afraid of places you used to go to cheer up. quieter. flinching. different.

you came back for love. you're still here for love. what pulled you back was a brightness so loud that even death couldn't outshout it. death heard the call and smiled at you and said okay. go home. somebody is waiting for you.

but you came back different. like lot's wife; you've turned into salt. you used to chirp through life in hops and skips; but now you lose skin just standing up. you have to move slower, skimming across this world without-touching-it. most things feel dull - until they're suddenly all-too-much. life, and being alive just rushes up and over you and you get hopelessly crushed.

you try to explain it to them: it is ugly, but this is what you are, now. the huge golden hoop of your halo now a little bronze ring. you are still watering your plants and wearing the same clothes. after all, you worked hard to come home. this life; so odd and off-color, now that you are wrong.

but they waited for you - it's just that they wanted the "you" that happened before this. the "you" that could sing in the show and hug people tight and look at a blade without breaking down to cry. the you with a smile in pictures. god, holyshit, it's like looking at a completely different person, isn't it. that other-you; the one they actually wanted.

you are the consolation prize. you are the body that forgot the ghost. you are the memory of the bad thing, and the death after; like you are wearing that memory as a banner. you are a fragment, an assembly. simulacrum. you don't make eye contact in mirrors, afraid the light will glance off and your true nature will flash back at you.

you hear them talk about it in their hushed, desperate whispers. sometimes they even admit it to your face; harsh and violent, acid thrown at christmas dinner. god, can you just fucking be normal again. you do not remember what normal is. you had to climb so far to get back here; you are far too exhausted. you want to open the glass door of your heart and show all the gears. can you help resolve whatever got messed up?

you try so, so hard. you came back for them. because you believed they would love you, even when you were so horribly broken. because you believed they would be patient. because you believed unconditional meant "without exception." you cannot do things the same way. you just get tired too quickly these days.

you want to put them on a couch and pour them the tea with hands that shake more than they remember. you want to line them up and draw them a map of where you have had to wander. you want to show every bruise in a backsplash; the little helpless ant of your soul carrying all that weight, over and over. you want to say: yes! it is different! but i did it for love!

you want to say: "i'm not the same, but i'm yours and i'm here. can that be enough?"

#this is very obviously about my battle with #ptsd #but i think it's also like a pretty apt metaphor for a lot of things like setting boundaries or going to therapy or choosing recovery #i was thinking about the 'comes back wrong' trope and i was like. oh no i have feelings about this bc i have mental illness #and once i stopped masking - i was WRONG. i was different #here's the good news: i am now INNUNDATED with love. fucking swimming in it. excelling at it. the people who stayed #learned my new self. my new different body and how i am different but i am trying. they have held me so tightly #and my life no longer feels quiet. it is not based in my suffering. it feels like i have been growing a tree in my chest #and now it is flowering.#it is so lovely to be surrounded by people who have said - oh! you cut off so many branches i was worried you weren't the same. but now...#... this is just a new you. and i love you. and i love that you're different and happy.#(but yeah also im nb so i was absolutely influenced by Trans things)

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hatsunevita · 9 days

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this is literally one of my favorite panels of the war arc.

i am OBSESSED with deku’s perception of romance and how it’s probably based off popular melodramas and his peers’ stories about their dates.

because you can’t argue with me that that’s the reason why he will have no idea his and katsuki’s relationship is so close to romantic. i’m so sure he’s gonna be the last one to realise his feelings for katsuki aren’t purely friendly and platonic. the guy will be like “oh yeah we’re really close and i care about him deeply and i hate the very thought of him being hurt and i wanna spend the rest of my life next to kacchan but haha that’s just our friendship! we’re not holding hands and sharing crepes so there are no romantic feelings involved🥰”

bro is gonna be so shocked when kacchan finally confesses his true feelings.

#also yes i believe katsuki’s gonna realise everything first. i mean im pretty sure he already has. damn.#good luck dealing with deku’s obliviousness lmaooo #i think izuku doesnt think about romance at all but his feelings for katsuki sound EXACTLY like any person’s in love #‘wow hes so amazing i wanna be close to him forever and never part’ bro #i dont think he can describe their relationship as friendship tbh… ig for izuku it means much more than any possible common type of bond #bakudeku #bkdk #izuku midoriya #bakugou katsuki #bakugo katsuki #bnha #mha #boku no hero academia #my hero academia

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gunstellations · 4 months

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In the world I love

_

In a different world

#vanitas no carte #vanoé #doomed yaoi save me...save me doomed yaoi #play on the opening song + visual sequence + the fact that vanitas could only ever be happy in an alternate universe also #+ the other fun little fact we learn about him from episode one #i have complex feelings about this anime #its pretty damn fucking good #but im a leeeeetle iffy about the way it developed the female characters.....they had potential and i was actually excited to #to see some good solid female characters even the respective romances with their l/i's felt good at the start #not jeanne obv. they fucked up a perfectly good woman and her whole dynamic with v could have gone sooo well without the reall #really forced flirting behaviour.... i liked the more serious relationship they had it made me actually not hate what they had at the start #but yknow. whatever. sorry about going off about another ship on this but im just....i love jeanne a lot. i wish they didnt do her so dirty #my girl deserves better than this asshole #you want white/black dynamics??? let her get married to domi and then we can talk #i enjoy this show and i enjoy vanoe a lot #very yuriyaoi if you ask me #my art

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koiifsh · 3 months

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i found a hatching brush finally yaaaaayyy also i turn 15 tomorrow

#digital art #ibispaint #fanart #genshin impact #genshin venti #venti #i constantly worry about not being “good enough” for my age #especially as i get older #now that im 15 i feel like i should've reached all the art goals i previously made #like being better at backgrounds #which you can see i attempted here #im pretty sure this is a universal experience so at least im not alone #sorry for the rant #but i know if i saw an artist that i liked voice their thoughts on this i might have felt better about it myself #so i hope this helps one of u #sending good vibes and peace and love mwaaahhh

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toytulini · 11 months

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listen im ace and im pro kink at pride and whatever, but the way some of yall are wording your posts in response to the backlash against it is uh. really taking me back to the ace shitcourse era.

yall know theres nothing wrong with being a "virgin", right? that its not inherently shameful to have not had sex, to never have sex, even if youre not ace, even if you do want to have sex someday, like, its fine that you haven't had sex?

maybe if your problem is that theyre trying to police your behavior and shame you for expressing your sexuality, you can say that? instead of resorting to "haha stupid virgin gets no bitches" like my god. do you not hear how fucking regressive that attitude is? i know, i know, youre "joking".

get a better joke

#toy txt post #god im going to regret this post im gonna regret it so much i can feel it in my bones #let it flop..........pls #internalize my message let it sink in and understand what i am saying and then let the post flop #i say. knowing the ppl who need to see such a message are the ones who will make me regret this post and regrwt not having #1 million bajillion disclaimers #virgin is in quotes bc its a bullshit made up stupid purity culture concept anyway and quite frankly i hate even seeing the word #disclaimer: the previous sentence is not me saying that it is a slur for asexuals. it is me a single individual saying this specific word #grosses me out to read and see everywhere when its a stupid bullshit binary made up or at least historically largely used #to shame largely women and i dont know why we're still using it in 2023 #and ive just been. seeing such an uptick in this whole like. attitude? lately and like #im ace im minorly sex repulsed. mostly about anything sex at me bad. other adults sex at each other consensually? go wild #i like to think im pretty chill about it. i try to be. i think its fine ig to be like 'my meat is huge i fuck so much so good'#like okay not my thing but good for you. love that for you #but then some of yall have started turning it back around back to. 'haha your meat so small and shriveled you get no bitches'#'haha stupid incel virgin' like okay. didnt realize we all went back to fucking. middle school but okay #god im gonna run out of tine to get ready for my thing writing this stupid post UGH evil #but like idk we've kinda circled back to being like haha being a virgin still is stupid and silly and shameful #and if im quite honest. i do think the acecourse played a part in that bc i felt like we were making good progress in like #hey guys is fine to not have sex ever if you dont want to its fine to not want sex its fine #and then aphobes went fucking rabid on us and splintered and destroyed online communities all over but especially on tumblr #and so many aces went back in the closet we stopped talking about it we stopped spreading awareness and now this stupid goddamn like #and now this stupid bullshit attitude is back where its like funny to call someone a virgin as an insult but like no bro trust me its okay #its okay for me to do it bc im a hot queer person with huge meat instead of a cisstraight frat bro with huge meat #? like you know the issue was the behavior right? not the fact that it was straight dudes saying it? its bc the thing being said was shitty?#you know you can dunk on the puritan bitches trying to police your behavior at pride without getting us as collateral damage right #stop making me read that stupid ugly ass word ur not cool or funny #whatever #if you come on to this post to start shit i will not only block you but as many of your mutuals and followers as i can find. i will scroll #i will block this entire fucking website if i need to do not test me. i am exhausted and the acecourse ate up all my tolerance in 2015.

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q1ngqve · 4 months

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your recent jing yuan post got me thinking..... reader accidentally calling jy daddy in bed

he (to his own surprise) would def be into it,, HE WOULD TRY NOT TO MAKE IT THAT OBVIOUS THO, teasing u instead, almost making fun of you(lovingly)

i luv mean jy,,, want him P̶L̶E̶A̶S̶E̶ ̶P̶L̶E̶A̶S̶E̶ ̶P̶L̶E̶A̶S̶E̶ ̶P̶L̶E̶A̶S̶E̶ ̶P̶L̶S̶

it was an accident! he just feels too good :( and there’s this aura around him that just SCREAMS daddy <3

HE’D SUDDENLY STOP THRUSTING AND LOOK DOWN AT YOU, DON’T WORRY THOUGH, HE’S JUST CONFUSED BECAUSE SOMETHING ABOUT YOU CALLING HIM DADDY TURNS HIM TF ON!!!!!!! but you’re so right he will definitely tease you first before admitting to it 🤭 (even though you can feel him stretching you out even more)

“daddy? really? you’re into that?”

and he wouldn’t fuck you until you admit to him that, yeah, you’re into it :(

LAUGHS WHEN YOU FINALLY SAY IT, EYES FLITTING ACROSS THE ROOM TRYING TO AVOID HIS GAZE BECAUSE IT’S JUST SO EMBARRASSING!!!! you’ve always only just called him daddy when you were touching yourself, you did not expect it to slip out when he’s actually fucking you

he’d grab at your chin, tilting it up slightly to force you to look at him! tells you to call him daddy again! (so mean 🥺ྀིྀིྀིྀིྀི) asks you to speak up because he can’t hear you (he definitely can)

kisses you harshly when you do and practically DRILLS himself into you! if only you could see the heart in his eyes as you cry out “daddy!” from how hard he’s making you come around him :(

#he is also definitely into referring to himself as daddy #like tell me im wrong #want daddy to make you feel good yeah?#oh im sure you do pretty girl #look at you taking daddy’s cock so well #🀥 lan’s writings!#☃︎ anons!#hsr #honkai star rail #jing yuan #jing yuan x reader #jing yuan smut

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kitamars · 10 months

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listen. hijikata has TWO HANDS

#this started as just a fun little concept like ‘awwww that would be cute’ but like #now i feel ill over them they are just lounging in my brain with no regard for my mental state its CRAZY #how hijikata managed to snag two pretty sadists is INSANE but honestly good for him #in return mitsuba got two constantly yelling idiots #and gin-san gets nightmares everytime they decide to get food #hm.#spicy sweet mayo #nevermind chjfngnrnfjf #but yes i love them and i think hijikata deserves all the love possible #this is absolutely entirely wish fulfilment don’t look at me like that #its fun #do join me in appreciating this trio i need so much more of it #okay now tags #i can’t use okita in the name bc like. it’ll come across and meaning sougo and. No #uh #ginhijimitsu #ginhiji #hijimitsu #ginmitsu #im having quite a time #? i guess #sakata gintoki #hijikata toushirou #okita mitsuba #gintama #ok bye

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mh2o29 · 1 month

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boys kissing sloppy style....IN COLOR🌈✨

i colored one of my scream'd stuilly kiss drawings from this post bc they are infecting my brain again someone save me!!!!

(pls click for better quality please and thank youuuuu)

this kiss has taken a hold on me once again (it never left) I cannot stop thinking about them

ive been coloring a lot more lately and actually liking the results guys why am I becoming a colorist hold on....

shoutout to @andromourir and @atitanbitch for helping me craft this Tumblr post in the debaser discord vc-2 chat..... which speaking of you guys wanna join sooooo bad join us please we have BOOK CLUB (we listen to atlas read fanfiction out loud) it is so fun

most importantly we have REMI so you GOTTA join now

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skitskatdacat63 · 8 months

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2023 Qatar Grand Prix - Parc Ferme - Oscar Piastri

#SO PRETTY!!!!!!!!! HE LOOKED SO GOOD DURING THIS #i just feel bad bcs he looks so dehyrdated and hot and dying #but at least hes sexy while doing it!!#p2....still cant believe it!!!!!#and he got so much camera time as well!!!!! so pleased!!!!!#im making these post-races differently than i normally would #i usually make one combined post but im splitting them up bcs i wanna use all my gifs #and smaller posts seem to do better for some reason so yeah!!#oscar piastri #f1 #formula 1 #formula one #we do a little bit of f1 #op81 #2023 qatar gp #2023 qatar grand prix

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realbeefman · 9 months

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stacy is sooo interesting because she's in love with house but knows that they will never ever be able to have a healthy, stable, sane relationship because they're too similar so. she finds house-lite instead and marries him and. essentially moves on with her life! and is successful in this because she's a moderately well-adjusted person!

wilson, in contrast, never manages to escape the inevitable, in spite of his best efforts to find a house-lite of his very own, because he's an absolute fucking freak and ends up glued to house to the bitter. bitter end

#yeah im too sleepy to revise this. UNFILTERED posting wooahh #some may b shocked but i do actually read thru most of my posts several times to make sure i didnt accidentally write mein kampfe 2 #recently ive come to the realization that i am in fact not an incredibly chill person #and that the constant paranoia and fear in which i live my life is actually PROBABLY a symptom of severe anxiety #like damn. ive always known that im pretty prone to depression but ive preetty much always been aware of that #my mom is a chronic depressive so i know the symptoms i know the signs i have a pretty good arsenal of healthy coping mechanisms #UNFORTUNATELY mommy's mental health problems did not help her not abuse me as a child #so i ended up being a terribly anxious kid who was constantly being screamed at and told i was overreacting (because i was. because i had #a severe anxiety problem that was making me react irrationally.) to everything all the time #which is you know. it is VERY difficult to deal with a mental health problem when you arent aware you have a problem!#its incredible how much. better. my life has gotten since i figured this out and started actively trying to work out what triggers it #and being able to like. realize 'oookay. there is an Issue here and it needs to be overcome'#instead of just beating on myself constantly for not being able to do things without feeling sick or getting breathing problems!#anyways. trauma dumping in tags is over now!#house md #hilson #greg house #james wilson #stacy warner

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pierogish · 1 year

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no thoughts head empty skaters pretty

losers

#im back at my silly #mp100 figure skating au #because its my comfort chill zone #and also pretty photos of figure skaters are so inspiring #serirei #reigen arataka #serizawa katsuya #mob psycho 100 #a blessing happened and the 4th especially managed to express.. feelings the way i wanted to #anyways good morning have a good day!#my art

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artist-rat · 1 year

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i’ve never listened/watched critical role but my best friend does and sometimes talks to me about it. i asked them for some characters to draw (from any campaign) :p

#critical role #cr #caleb widogast #yasha nydoorin #mollymauk tealeaf #chetney pock o'pea #essek thelyss #also i've seen lots of fanart around ever since the dawn of time so i had pretty clear pictures of them in my mind but #i wanted to do these without looking at refs and just went with the vibes i have + what i remembered having seen people do #it was rly fun and at least my bestie liked them so i've met my goal lool<3 #(these are in the order my friend came up with the charas... first prompt was caleb bc.. im ''good at skrunkly wizards and cats''.......)#(i should've known what to expect)#also if anyone now follows me for critrole i hope the caption is clear enough so u won't expect a lot ahahbdbdb #i might do some more of these in the future if im feeling like it but as said im not rly that into it personally:D✌️

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tarutaruga · 1 year

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madara sketch, also testing out CLIP STUDIO timelapse feature

#naruto #madara uchiha #uchiha madara #madara #tarudraw #listening to vocaloid while drawing this #im feeling old #all the music videos were 480p or lower.... good times #also im really proud of his face shape here #peepaw why are you so pretty I wanna kiss you #gay ass for old men

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averlym · 6 months

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fairest of the fair

#hi! im alive and back and etc.#six the musical #six the musical fanart #katherine howard #thinking of that post going 'i think eventually you become the person you needed most' and like maybe that's the thing with my art #this started out as a redraw and <improvement meme> i think i've finally reached the stage where i'm making the things that my younger self #aspired to create. like i can do this now! i've reached That level of technical skill! tiny me would be so proud. it's very gratifying #redraw from august this year actually. i've made a surprising amount of improvement HAHA maybe it was the adamandi stuff getting me #back into digital rendering. i think that obsession has quietly slipped away but yknow. one never truly leaves a fandom. just less intensit #also speaking of old fandoms! we're back with the six stuff haha. as of writing i'm in the midst of blog revamp- figuring out how to chill #multifandom status doesn't mean ditch all the old stuff ! but i do feel much freer and less stressed. i think hiatus has been good for me #notes on this piece particularly: redraw about cutting hair and thinking of the lyric above. also lowkey &j ref + pinterest poem excerpts #of female suffering. and maybe a dash of amanda heng let's walk inspo. this work is really just full of contradictions..#1. the mirror and cutting hair as an act of self liberation 2. the & is part of the lyric but also a nod to &j (in another iteration it was #pink but the white looked better) and like. &j is really all !!! girl power!!! etc. and i was like hmmmm. also matching pink shiny aes #3. the frame as a cage; the mirror as a self reflection idea (ie. saville's propped insp) but also as a sign of vanity. 4. sparkly costume #and pretty pose- read one too many poems about women feeling like they have to be pretty even in their suffering. something i wanted to #explore. and also in 5. the show itself... all you wanna do is. despite all the dancing and pink and sparkly the content of the song is #darker. and even though it's a story of her suffering it's still presented as a shiny fun pop song and ajshdhfhfh ok... 6. the lyrics fall #outside the frame. sort of a caught inbetween. sort of a trapped in the narrative and yet #within the frame it's all. vaguely handwavy breaking free vibes. like i said contradictions?#7. cutting off the long ponytail vs the pull my hair lyric at the end. yeah #8. the blocked off & looks a bit like scissors. positioned to cut right at the neck #anyways yeah irl remains hectic! but if i get around to more doodles they'll appear here :)

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deep-space-lines · 21 days

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Not ultrakill related for once- I finally finished an oil painting I've been working on for a while! (Reference was this image of the Pillars of Creation.) 12 hours of oil painting is way too many hours of oil painting for my adhd ass why do I keep doing this to myself

(the weirdly dark part by the stars is just wet paint... I'm too impatient to wait for it to dry before posting it x.x)

progress pics under the cut bc I like looking at them

each photo was taken after a 2-hour painting session

#my art #i have had a really really really deeply terrible awful shitty day today but at least i can feel a little good about this thing #oil painting #pillars of creation #space art #im pretty proud of this honestly. realism/directly copying references isnt something i usually enjoy but this was pretty fun #if youre wondering where im finding the time for so much art. its called being unemployed (pained laughter)

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