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georgiadixon · 3 years

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Harder, Buck

pairing: stucky x reader or something like that

genre/warnings: nsfw, angst, fwb, cursing, mutual pining, fluffy ending, lots of bucky love <3

a/n: i've been messing around with this one for about a year and i think it's about time it sees the light of day. enjoy!

Steve can hear your moans through the wall.

They’re deafening, never-ending, piercing right through his heart and straight to his cock. The ache in his chest will surely never vanish, no matter how often he tries to stop or how excruciatingly tight he grips himself just to relieve a fraction of the heat coursing through him.

Nights like these make him feel like the walls are taunting him, begging his resolve to crush. But no matter how tight he keeps his eyes closed, the truth is impossible to deny.

He is ridiculously, overwhelmingly, unbearably in love.

He wonders if the serum is a curse, if he was damned to a life of untouchable grief. There’s no reason he should be here, no reason he should be so close but ridiculously far from the man he has given his life to time and time again.

Steve wants to punch the wall with the aggression and pain he feels from never saying anything. And then he wants to kick down the door from how he doesn’t even know what or who he would have bothered to admit feelings for. He looks at you and wishes he would have just told the damn truth and he looks at Bucky and wonders if he’s ever thinking about him, too.

Too late. You were too late. Now they’re each other’s and they’ll never be yours.

He can’t help but listen to the intruding thoughts of regret, and he can’t help but feel like the feelings inside of him that randomly creep up just don’t belong to him.

Because as adamant as you are about your relationship being strictly physical, he sees the way Bucky looks at you.

It’s the way he looks at you, too.

He thinks he loves you and he knows it’s wrong because he knows he loves Bucky and he’d be damned before he messes up the first thing to make him genuinely happy in a long, long time.

It’s easy to bury during the day, when the sunlight hits his eyes as you’re laughing at something dumb he said and he can pretend that you’re just friends. That the sound of your laugh doesn’t light up his heart in every way, that you aren’t the most beautiful fucking thing he’s ever seen.

A swirl of emotions are running through him at an unforgivable pace and he swears he would do anything to feel something other than this.

Cheap.

He finishes in his hand with a grunt and an unmistakable pain in his chest.

Because Steve knows you’re in love and he knows this is wrong.

He’s fucked.

Bucky can hear Steve’s grunts through the wall.

He’s unforgivingly pounding into you, nearing breaking the headboard from how hard he’s clutching it and rocking it in time with his thrusts.

Moments like these make him wonder if the serum is a curse.

Because when he closes his eyes, if he lets himself drift, he’s back in ‘44. He’s stuck in a lopsided tent on its last legs in the backwoods of Brooklyn because “Bucky, we have to make the most out of what we have.” And even though it wasn’t much, it was enough to feel his boy in the early hours of the morning and hold him close until sunlight, knowing there might not be a tomorrow. Knowing that every single second needs to last forever because Steve was already slipping through his fingers with every passing one.

He could look his love right in the eyes, sweet and soft and suddenly bigger than him but he was still Steve and he would always need to feel his boy under him. Hot skin and sweat and groans and “Harder, Buck.”

The scratches on his back are burning but the burn is delicious and he needs to be closer.

He needs to be closer, closer to the glowing skin under him that he’s felt time and time again and he’s pulled down by the neck but it’s not him.

It’s not him. Not anymore.

He’s snapped back to reality, seeming impossibly far away but manages to focus on you again.

“What did you say?” He’s breathless, dazed, confused. His mind is clouded from not so distant memories on the other side of the wall and the feel of you squeezing the life out of him.

“I said,” You’re breathless as well, but totally consumed with how much Bucky there really is around you, inside of you right now. You wrap your hands around his neck and kiss him, spit dripping from where your lips collide and you feel like you could swallow him whole.

“Harder, Buck.”

He gives it to you. He gives you what you need, what you want and you’re ok with being selfish because he’s not all here, and this isn’t supposed to mean anything. Not really.

It’s dirty. It’s messy. And you know it’s wrong when the distance in his eyes never leaves and you can’t help but wonder just what is going on in his mind but damn, the Bucky that is here feels good.

You can hear them talking about you in the next room.

It makes you nervous, being able to tell that there were underlying (or resurfacing) feelings between the soldiers from the moment you met them.

It didn’t really have anything to do with you, as you were verbally adamant to Bucky on no strings attached. Baseless, simple, easy pleasure. And damn, did James Barnes know how to deliver.

But you can’t help but think a little too hard about the way they both stare at you when they think you don’t notice, or the way they stare at each other when they think it’s not obvious.

The truth is, you can keep lying to yourself, but there’s no mistake to the feelings you get deep in your chest when Bucky’s holding you, or the feelings you get when Steve’s looking at you like your laugh is lighting up his whole world.

Feelings that don’t belong to you.

“How’s everything with Y/N going?”

You can hear Steve question Bucky about you. It’s confusing, overwhelming. This entire situation is.

You had already assumed Steve knows just about everything involving your relationship with Bucky. They’re best friends. More. But it’s easy to overanalyze and wish to know just how much he was saying when you aren’t listening. How much a “friends with benefits” situation could really warrant discussion.

“It’s alright.” You know that tone. He’s brooding. Upset about something. Or everything, it feels like sometimes. Like something is always missing.

Like the world wouldn't be enough.

“Just alright?” Steve’s ‘captain’ voice is in full effect. He’s trying to get him to talk. It doesn’t seem like it will be successful, but if anyone could pump some life into Bucky it would be Steve. Your chest aches with that thought.

You could never be enough.

You hear Bucky sigh and shuffle around. “It’s good. It’s really good.”

“But?” Steve’s smirk can be heard clearly through his words.

“How’d you know there was a but?” Bucky jokes, but it’s hard to tell sometimes. You know him well enough to be able to.

“I know you better than anyone.”

You almost want it to hurt, to be jealous because if you’re being honest there’s not much in the world you want more than to have all of Bucky Barnes, to be the one who knows him, the one who he lets in. But you can’t, because as annoying as it is, Steve Rogers is always right.

Bucky’s head is spinning.

Steve knows him too well to avoid his question, but his nerves are taking over and he doesn’t know how he’s going to do this, how he’s going to tell Steve everything he’s wanted to since he’s been back and everything that was never gone in the first place.

He takes a deep breath, and he thinks about you. He thinks about how he feels when he’s with you, and he thinks about how even though he knows he loves you there’s something missing.

And then he rips the 80 year old band-aid off.

“I miss you.”

It’s quiet, soft, almost imperceptible, like he’s scared of what he’s saying.

Maybe because he is.

Steve’s response sounds exactly the same.

“I’m right here, Buck.”

He scoffs at that, shaking his head and if Steve wasn’t so damn detail-oriented he wouldn’t have seen his lip quiver in quiet anticipation.

Steve knows Bucky won’t speak next, so he gulps and tries to find the words, at least the next words from the countless speeches he’s practiced in his head for this moment.

“I love her.”

Bucky looks up and locks eyes with him, and for a second Steve thinks he’s in trouble.

But Bucky smiles. He looks out towards the city through the floor-to-ceiling mirrors and sort of nods to himself at how stupid they’re all being for tip-toeing around each other.

“I know.”

Steve’s eyebrows are furrowed as he leans back a bit, waiting for something else. It doesn’t come, so he relaxes and leans further towards the man sitting across from him and stares deep into his eyes, praying he really hears his next words.

“I love you.”

Bucky smiles again.

“I know.”

He isn’t sure if he’s waiting for the right moment or just likes seeing Steve speechless, but he’s sitting on something big and it’s been far too long of almost everything he’s ever wanted.

He’s loved Steve since he was a stupid teenager. He’s been in love with Steve since the first time he punched a guy for him and swore to himself he’d never let him go.

He woke up from years of torture, not just physical but mental and emotional having to be apart for so long and never being able to forget him.

You were an accident. He didn’t mean to fall. He went along with your whole “friends with benefits” idea because he just needed to be close to you. You were entrancing, lovely, intoxicating. He needed you. He needs you. It’s been racking his brain for so long of the growing feelings he has for you and the pure need he has for Steve but he’s learning to let go and say fuck it.

I want you both. I need you both.

“Do you think we could be happy? All of us?”

Steve smiles that smile Bucky knows and loves all too much like the answer is obvious, like it always has been. He loses himself in the thought for only a moment, but long enough to miss Bucky’s face fall with worry.

“What are you scared of?”

Steve speaks as if he can read his mind, because honestly, he probably can, and Bucky looks up at the question and decides they’ve both been through too much for anymore lying or beating around the bush. It’s now, or it’s never. Life is too uncertain to waste anymore time.

“Losing you. Again.”

Steve tilts his head at this, because he’s always felt like he’s the one who lost Bucky. Watching him fall from the train took something from him and putting him back under took even more but maybe that’s not what he meant.

Maybe it never was.

“I’m not going anywhere.”

Bucky laughs sadly at Steve’s words and wishes that was a promise that could be kept, that was more simple. None of this is simple. Nothing has been since the 40s.

“I’m not the same person I was in the 40s, Steve.”

“Neither am I.”

He knows this. He knows everything is different, but when he looks at Steve and he’s looking back at him the same way it’s like they never left Brooklyn.

And he finally gets to ask the question that’s been lingering in his head since Wakanda.

“You think you could love me again?”

Without hesitation, Steve knows his answer. He’s known it since he left him to heal.

“Never stopped.”

You try to hurry away when you hear them coming, but they’re both way too clever to not have noticed you.

You stop and let them catch up to you, the butterflies leaving your stomach and making their way up into your throat.

Despite your nerves, you turn and lock eyes with Bucky. Even when the world’s spinning, you can never help but look at him like he hung the stars for you.

Bucky’s looking back at you the way he always does, like he has a million things running through his mind but he loves you too much to burden you with any of them. You just wish he knew he could never be a burden. That you loved him, all of him.

“I love you, Y/N.”

“I know, Buck. I love you too.”

He smiles at your return to his confession, some of his nerves leaving knowing that you feel the same. But then he remembers the man next to him and they all come rushing back. He doesn’t want to lose you, not when he just got you. But he can’t deny his boy. Not anymore.

He glances over at Steve nervously and grabs his hand, preparing himself for what he’s about to say next.

“I love Steve, too.”

You smile at him, appreciating that he’s finally letting himself feel the things you’ve always known he has.

“I know, Buck. I love him too.”

Steve looks up at you at this, questioning what you really meant. You look back at him, smile, and give him the eyes you’ve wanted to ever since you met him. He’s hesitant at first, but as if a switch hits his brain, his face lights up at the recognition of your feelings for him. And with one look from your golden boy, all of your nerves wash away and you know this is right.

Bucky, who still hasn’t seemed to catch on, is struggling to find his words. He’s stressed, and you and Steve watch him run a hand through his hair in frustration. The same smile appears on both your faces watching your boy fumble over himself trying to explain the situation, trying to make everything right not even noticing it already is.

You step forward to push his hair back so you can see his face, and you take a moment to admire just how beautiful he really is. You kick yourself for wasting so much time not telling him that, but you make a silent promise to yourself that you won’t go another day without it. Without telling both of them how amazing they are, and how they both make you feel more loved than any person could ever deserve.

With your hand still on Bucky’s cheek, you lean in close and press the lightest kiss of your life onto his lips, making him smile shyly into it. And then you lean back, grabbing Steve’s face with your other hand and giving him the hardest, most passionate kiss of your life in the same breath.

Bucky wonders why he was ever nervous at all.

You look at the pure, unadulterated happiness on his face and you know you’ve never seen him like this. For half a moment you want to be jealous, you want to be upset that you couldn’t do this for him on your own. But it all disappears when you see them looking at each other and not being sorry for it anymore. It makes you realize that maybe it’s ok you couldn’t be enough on your own. Maybe it was always supposed to take Steve and you, together, to make him whole again.

Bucky kisses Steve, hard, right as he winks your way and grabs Steve’s hand to lead him back to your room which you can catch glimpses of all three of you living in, in peace.

He runs a hand through his hair and just looks so goddamn happy that you swear your heart isn’t capable of loving him anymore.

And then Steve looks back at you and he smiles his golden boy smile and you swear your heart could collapse at how much you know you love him.

Yeah. You’re fucked.

#cat's fics #stucky #stucky x reader #stucky fic #steve rogers x reader #bucky barnes x reader #steve rogers fic #bucky barnes fic #reader fic #stucky x reader angst #stucky x reader fluff #mcu fic #mcu imagine #mcu x reader #cat's stucky fics #stucky x you

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oitommothetease · 3 years

Text

Invisible String (14/15)

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female reader (Modern AU)

Word Count: 2.4k words

Warning : angst, sad reader, angry reader, dumbass Bucky, Steve being likable for once, smartass Sam, reader finally having some friends, mention of assault, confrontation, drinking, fluff, Bec is Bucky’s sister - Rebecca

Unlike you, Bucky remembered everything. He could never forget that you were hurt because of him — tied to a chair for hours while he couldn't save you — crying on the bathroom floor as he held you. The only thing common in all of those instances was him. You had to go through shit because of him, and yet, you still didn't blame him. You wrapped your arm around him as if he wasn't the cause of your pain. It was clear that his past and the baggage that he came with didn’t bother you. In fact, you understood and accepted his trauma and still loved him. You didn't love him despite his baggage. No, you loved him with every bad thing he offered.

Bucky was sure you were delusional. No sane woman would want to be with the man who was responsible for her captivity, yet you snuggled closer towards him the moment this thought occurred in his head. And Bucky loved you more because of that, and he thought he wasn't physically capable of loving you more than he already did. Bucky knew you reciprocated those feelings, it was very obvious that both of you were a goner for the other. Nevertheless, those emotions were not voiced out loud in your relationship yet. And Bucky wanted it to stay that way.

Bucky decided to sneak out of your bed and house before you could wake up. He was aware it was cowardly of him to just leave without giving you an explanation. But if he stayed to explain, you would have asked him to stay, and he didn't have it in himself to tell you no. You were the ray of sunshine in his stormy life and he could never say no to you. You could ask him to get you the sun, and he would get it for you, even after knowing that it would kill him and the humankind in the process. He would still do it.

But what he couldn’t do was refuse you, so he would have to leave you instead.

***

You woke up a bit disoriented, unaware of the surroundings you were in. It took you a minute to process that you were in your own house and not held captive. Once you came back to your senses instinctively you called for Bucky. He held you while you slept the previous night, so he had to be out in the kitchen. When no response came back, you went out to check for him, only to be met with an empty house.

When you tried to contact him, Bucky was distant. He didn’t respond to your texts and your mind was telling you that something was wrong, but you shoved those thoughts sideways, hoping that maybe he was busy with work. But you both went through something traumatic, you needed him to be with you. If he were busy, he could have at least texted you.

Well, if he was going to ignore you, then you wouldn't be one of those people whose life revolved around their partner. You had a book to write and ambitions that didn’t involve him.

Two hours later, when there was no word from him, you stared at the blank screen on your computer. You weren’t unfamiliar with writer's block, but it had been months and you haven't written a single line since the incident in the club involving Rumlow. And now that you were alone with your thoughts, you started doubting everything. Should you have stayed in that corporate 9 to 5 job? You'd have a stable life and a fixed salary. Maybe you could have even got a promotion. Should you have filed a complaint against Rumlow? Bucky wanted you to, he even assured you the cops would be on your side, but you just weren't ready. You realized that by choosing to remain silent, you were sending a predator out in the world. He could do that to other people and you could have stopped it.

A knock on the front door interrupted your train of thoughts and you were grateful for the person on the other side. You assumed it was Bucky, he didn’t need to buzz in because he literally owned the building. Well, it could also be any one of his friends. Sam and Steve also didn't need permission . And the other day when Peter came by to give you your phone (you left it in the club), he didn't buzz in either.

Seeing Wanda, Peter and Pietro on the door was a good change and God, you needed a change or else you'd go mad with self-loathing.

“We brought pizza,” Wanda exclaimed, lifting the bag in her hand to show you.

You didn't say anything, just smiled at them thankfully. You were really delighted they were here. Not only that, but you didn't have many friends here, and you considered your work friends, your only friends. It was nice to see that they saw you as a friend too and not just someone they work with.

“And beers,” Pietro chimed in, raising the carton in his hand.

You looked at Peter before teasing, “Is he even legal, guys?”

Seeing you joke around with them made Wanda happy. Between all the testosterone, she truly needed a female friend, and she was relieved to see you treating them as friends rather than colleagues. And she understood the trauma that must haunt you since your kidnapping. She was an empath and when you didn’t show up at work, she grew worried.

Half an hour later, most of you were on your second beer. Pietro was on his fourth. That man was fast at everything he did. A movie was playing in the background that none of you paid attention to while everyone was settled on your couch. It wasn't a very spacious couch, you were all squashed into it, but it was too comfortable to leave. You were sitting in between Peter and Wanda, while Pietro was situated beside his sister.

You forgot how nice it felt to have friends and bitch about people to them.

“And just like that he was gone. I woke up and he wasn't there,” you told them, “Hasn't been taking my calls either.”

Pietro took a sip of his drink before saying, “What an ass!”

Wanda raised her bottle, nudging all of you to join her, and said, “Fuck men!”

“Amen!” you agreed, Peter and Pietro nodded too.

“You should focus on your book,” Pietro advised, “Bucky is gonna regret if he loses someone like you, babe.”

The book. Your book. You couldn't tell them why you weren't focused on the book. It was still a lot to process, and you were not ready, so you nodded before chanting, “Fuck Bucky!”

***

“What are you doing here?” Sam questioned as he and his husband entered the office.

“Last I checked, I own this place.”

Sam huffed, “I meant why are you here instead of her place, smartass?”

Bucky looked around to avoid the questioning gaze of both Sam and Steve. He hadn’t talked to Steve since the argument they had over you. Of course, they did discuss business as usual, but nothing related to their personal life.

“She doesn't need me,'' Bucky murmured and looked at Steve. “You must be pleased to know that it's over.”

Bewilderment was clear on the faces of both the men because Bucky exhaled loudly before continuing, “I almost got her killed. It would be wise and safe for her to not be with me.”

Steve finally spoke, “Did she say that?”

When his best friend shook his head ‘no’, Steve sighed in exasperation. “You are an idiot.”

“Yeah, well, that's what you wanted, didn't you?” Bucky retorted, “For me to focus on work and not on her.”

“I was clearly wrong, pal,” Steve raised his hand in exasperation as if it was obvious, “And I’m sorry for that.”

“Well, it's over now.”

***

“Before I met Nat. I dated a girl who pretended to be gay,” Wanda scrunched her nose, remembering the awful memory.

“Oh yeah, weird Sallie,” Pietro smiled teasingly, “Did you guys know that when Wanda brought her home, she hit on our dad?”

“No!” Both you and Peter cried out, stupefied at his words.

“Yeah,” Wanda outlined, “And on Pietro too.”

“I mean, Mr. Barnes is not like this,” Peter brought the conversation back to Bucky and you sucked in a heavy breath. “I’m sure he had a good reason for doing all of this.”

“Seriously?” you were pretty drunk, but not drunk enough to talk about Bucky. You looked at Wanda and Pietro for support, but they shrugged their shoulders in a manner that said, ‘He's not wrong, though.’

You wanted to go to bed and sleep. But you knew they were right. Bucky would never hurt you intentionally, you knew that. “Do you guys know where he is now?”

***

Since trying to talk some sense into Bucky wasn't working, Sam and Steve retaliated back to talk about business.

“Clint is officially out of here,” Steve reported, “Torturing him would just create more ruckus. Rumlow is behind us because he wants his weapons in the government, and Clint would just be a casualty in all this shit. He has three kids.”

Sam huffed, “We told Laura. Her wrath would be worse for Clint than our fists.”

Bucky didn't say anything and just nodded. Steve could feel something was on Bucky's mind, wrapping his arms to his chest, he raised a brow towards his best friend.

“I’m just tired of all of this,” Bucky said sadly, “Is this what we left Rumlow for, pal? You have a kid at home, Wanda has a wife, I have ma and Bec and I haven't met them in years, in fear of someone following me. And now — Well, now I’ve lost the girl too."

Steve and Sam looked at their friend with sympathy. They knew the toll their work took on all of them. Hell, they had a four-year-old daughter at home, and could barely sleep at night, always terrified of losing their kid because of their job.

Sam was about to ask Bucky to suggest an alternative that would help all of them could to make it out of there and just work on the club and not some shady business. Suddenly, the office door flung open and on purpose, everyone’s hand reached for the gun in their waistband. But in walked you with a beer bottle in your hand and a pizza slice in another.

“JAMES BUCKY BARNES!” You exclaimed, your steps wavering a little as you walked towards him. Oh, and you looked royally pissed.

Instantly, Bucky was on his feet and making his way towards you, to hold you — to be near you. And before you could say anything, he was engulfing his arms around your waist, his head settled at the crane of your neck and you frowned. Okay, You did not expect that. You thought he would ignore you, and you would give him a piece of your mind before leaving.

Sober you would have asked him to have a mature conversation like adults, but tipsy you wanted to flip him off and leave. Your arms hung around your sides awkwardly, trying to understand the situation before finally pushing him away.

“You left me,” you spoke so softly that if Bucky wasn't so close, he wouldn't have heard it. “I needed you and you left me alone.”

Bucky’s heart broke at your words. He didn't consider how his rash decision would affect you. You were kidnapped by the person who assaulted you. Fuck, he cursed himself. He was supposed to be protecting you, not hurting you. You sounded so hurt that Bucky wanted to get on his knees and ask for forgiveness. He was so focused on your physical injuries, he did not even realize he was hurting you emotionally.

Steve cleared his throat, clearly uncomfortable to present. He interrupted and took his husband’s hand in his, “We’re going to go.”

Before they could leave, you shifted your attention towards Steve and pointed a finger at him. “Why do you hate me?”

Steve stammered, he didn't expect you to put him in a spot like this, but you had a tad more than necessary liquid courage in your system.

“Doll,” Bucky breathed, and you moved your gaze back towards him. Steve took the opportunity and left the room with Sam.

You were on the verge of tears by now — both of you were — Bucky wasn't a man who could voice his feelings, but with you, all of his armor came shattering down. With you — he would tell you his vulnerabilities and fears just so he could let you in. You meant so much to him that the fear of losing you blinded his sense of understanding. He realized that he acted immaturely and by doing so, he almost lost you.

“You hurt me,” Your voice wavered, the traitorous tears made their way down your eyes, and Bucky couldn't see you like that. Instinctively, he stretched his hands to wrap around you, but stopped, “Can I hold you?”

You sniffled and nodded, and Bucky engulfed you flush against his chest. After a while, you snaked your hands around his shoulder too, and a sob broke down from your throat.

He didn't remember how long he held you like this, but after a while, he picked you up and made his way to the couch. He stood before you and then slid one hand up to your cheek. Likewise, he brushed his thumb across your cheek. And then you slowly straddled his waist as you both settled down on the soft sofa. Bucky’s hands fell naturally to your hips to pull you closer.

“I love you, Bucky,” you whispered, once your tears suspended. You enveloped your arms around him and pressed your forehead against his.

Bucky didn’t know whether you meant it or not. You were pretty drunk. He hoped you did.

“I love you, doll,” he confessed as he kissed the crown of your head. He noticed that you were on the brink of sleep, your breathing even, and you looked so peaceful in his arms.

He felt at ease — calm even with you in his arms and in that moment he decided he was never letting you go no matter what.

TAGS : @bananapipedreams @akkinda10 @rivers-rambles21 @emmabarnes @valsworldofcreativity @boofy1998 @marvel-3407 @mybuck @priii @coffeebooksandfandom @ladydmalfoy @shaking-a-jar-of-bees @elizamalfoyy @maladaptivexxdaydreaming @sabrinathesimp

Taglist for future stuff.

#bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes series #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x female reader

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wienerbarnes · 3 years

Text

A Certain Romance (4/6)

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Word Count: 2,111

Warnings: mentions to past abusive relationship, nothing too explicit, though

A/N: some emotional bonding✨ enjoy babes

MAIN MASTERLIST | A CERTAIN ROMANCE MASTERLIST

Bucky presses the little button on the side of his phone knowing the dead battery won’t allow it to turn on. He makes his way up the stairs to your apartment - the elevator is always broken - and hopes you’re home to offer him a charger.

He was getting a few groceries in your area when his phone died, the only place where his list was kept, and had no other choice but to leave and go back later. A curse with technology; a paper list would never run out of battery, he thinks.

He knocks on your door three times and he can hear the low sizzling of something, signaling your presence inside. It takes you a minute to come to the door, though. Longer than the amount of time for you to change your clothes or turn something off, no, it seemed to him like you were waiting to see if he’d leave.

Do you have someone over? Another guy? Are you expecting someone else you don’t want to see? Is it him you don’t want to see? He thinks he’d rather you tell him to his face if that’s the case.

It’s been about a month and a half since you’ve started “dating.” The two of you have started hanging out more frequently, relying less on when Sam asks about what the two of you are doing and going more based on when you genuinely want to see each other. In a friendly manner, of course.

After he knocks a second time is when he hears a quiet shuffling on the other side approach closer and closer to the door. A lock turns and you finally open up, Bucky meeting your slightly puffy and red-tinted eyes.

“Hey.” You sighed before turning around and walking back to the kitchen.

“Hi.” He starts.

You were clearly crying. While Bucky would call the two of you good friends at this point - as well as fake lovers - he’s not sure if he’s in a position to pry about what’s wrong with you. Should he ignore it? Not bring too much attention to your obvious emotions? Bring all the attention to it and try to fix whatever the problem is?

“I, uhh, my phone died and I was in the area, so I wanted to ask if I could borrow a charger?” He starts. Maybe introducing a topic that has nothing to do with whatever is causing you to feel this way will help.

“Coffee table.” Is your curt response.

He takes the minute it takes him to plug his phone into the wall and set it on the coffee table to think of how he can go about this.

“You okay? Actually, don’t answer that - bad question. Clearly you’re not okay…” He tries, quickly shutting himself up when you sigh and slump a bit in front of the stove.

“What are you making?” He slowly walks over to where you are, a pan in front of you on one of the burners.

“Apple and brie mini sandwiches.” You say. More words, same sad tone. Still progress.

“Want me to take over and you can chill out on the couch?” He offers quietly.

“No. I - I want to keep myself busy.”

Progress.

“Okay. Anything I can do to help?”

You let out a shaky breath. His eyes focus on your face as tears gather around the rims of your eyes and you bite down on your bottom lip. A tear drops from your left eye and your hand quickly reaches to brush it away, as though Bucky didn’t already see it.

“Um, can you set up a couple of plates on the table?” You ask, voice strained.

He nods and moves towards your cupboard, setting the table up wordlessly.

The two of you remain silent as he fiddles with the napkins on the table and you finish up browning the bread of the sandwiches. He finally hears the click of the stove turning off and you bring the pan to the table, setting it on top of a piece of cork.

You serve him two sandwiches and yourself one and finally sit down next to him, letting out another sigh.

“I thought I saw my ex today at the market. And it took the entire time I was running back to my apartment in fear to remember that he’s in jail. Four states away.”

He looks over at you and realizes that the look in your eyes he thought was sadness isn't sadness at all. It’s exhaustion. A look he wore himself very often in his days of hiding, days of constantly looking over his shoulder until his worst nightmare came true and he was caught.

Paranoia is something he knows too well and it hurts him to see you suffering from it too. He remembers the brief mention of your ex from your first date together; how he beat the shit out of you. And he imagines he did a lot more than that if it means he’s in prison.

A humorless laugh falls from your lips, “And now I need groceries but I’m too tired and embarrassed to go back. The cashier probably thought I was crazy.” You pick at the crust on the bread with your fingers and Bucky gives you a small, sympathetic smile.

“Eat before it gets cold.” You tell him, picking up your own sandwich and taking a bite, Bucky doing the same after another moment of looking at you.

Gooey brie and crisp sliced apples go great with buttery, toasted french bread, Bucky learns.

“Do you want to help me clean the apartment?” You ask him as you follow him to the sink where he washes off the plates and the pan you used.

“... Your apartment is spotless.” He tells you.

“I know. I cleaned it two days ago. But I like to clean when I have bad days, and you’re already here.”

He grabs the sponge and wipes down the stove, glancing over at you.

“I’d be happy to help you clean. Where do you want me to start?”

He planned on getting his own groceries today, but found himself on his knees slipping his arm as far as it can go under your dresser. I’m going to buy her one of those adjustable Swiffers for her birthday this year, he thinks. After collecting all the dust onto the rag, he tosses it into the pile with the few other dirty rags and glances over his shoulder to look at you.

Down the hallway, you wipe down all the frames on the wall one by one. He hears sniffles every once in a while, but keeps cleaning.

“Alright, I got all the low places and all the high places for you.” He walks over to you down the hallway. “What do you have next for me?”

“Nothing, we can stop for a bit.”

He’s gotten better at reading people. Through getting closer with Sam, through therapy, through becoming a more participating citizen in society. And through getting to know you. He can read you, and he can tell you’re holding something back.

“Anything else you wanna do? Anything I can do?”

“What’s your zodiac again? You’re very caring, you know that?”

“I’m a Pisces and you're deflecting.” He steps closer to you now, eyes less puffy from when he first saw you this afternoon, but tiredness radiating through them. “Talk to me, sweetheart.” He encourages quieter.

“Can we… cuddle? For a little bit?” You ask.

This is the first time Bucky’s ever seen you look so fragile. Not on that first date where you thought he was going to stand you up or when you told him about your ex. Not when you both discussed your deepest secrets on your couch. Not even earlier when you explained why you’ve been crying today. A timorous woman stands before him, now.

“Absolutely, doll. Where, on the couch? Wherever you want.” He tells you softly, seeing a bit of tension leave your shoulders as you gently bring him to the couch to sit, as though you were expecting him to say no.

He’d always used to make fun of Steve when talking about Peggy. Always teasing him as a brother would when the lovey-dovey talk would come out. But this is the very first time he’s ever understood a single thing he was talking about.

You’ll find someone, and they’ll fit you like a puzzle piece. You’ll mold to each other perfectly, and it’ll scare the hell outta ‘ya.

He’s propped up against the arm rest, one leg straightened out on the couch and the other planted on the floor. His arms are around you as you’re sandwiched between his side and the back of your couch. Your hands rest gently along his stomach, head tucked under his chin. A knee hooks around the leg that’s straightened on the couch, the other stretched on the remaining area of the cushions.

Like a puzzle piece.

You’re warm and you’re making him feel warm, both on the inside and the outside. He feels the way he did when he first pecked Barbara Albram on the mouth in grade school. Or when he first sat on a girl’s bed in her room when he was a teenager.

He feels like he has a crush.

“Do you know what love languages are?” You ask after a few minutes of silence. You’re both warm against each other, no blanket needed in the small space. He can feel your body much more relaxed under his hands and the permanent strain in your throat has disappeared.

“No. Sounds nice.”

“It’s the way you express and experience love, either with a romantic partner, a friend, family, that sort of thing. There’s five.”

“What are they?”

“Words of affirmation, quality time, physical touch, acts of service, and gifts.”

He hums, an arm absentmindedly trailing up and down your back.

“I’m not sure what mine is.” He says, thinking back to every relationship he’s ever had, both romantic and not.

“You can be a mix of them. I think you like to express love through acts of service. You did just help me clean half the apartment. And when you told me about helping Sam and Sarah with the boat.” You mention.

“What’s yours?”

“Physical touch. But he kind of fucked that up for me, though.” You scoff.

“I used to love holding hands, hugging, kissing. Not just with him, with everyone. I felt like I had so much love to give and now I have nowhere to put it. I wish he didn’t make me like that.” You confess.

“Only you are in control of that. He’s gone. And what he did was terrible. But it’s up to you to reclaim that. If you have a lot of love you want to give, give it. There’s no one that deserves that love in return more than you. You are worthy of all the love in the world.”

He stays with you on the couch until he feels your breathing slow a bit and your body relaxes against his, small snores and heavy breaths leaving your mouth as you finally rest.

He hears a buzz on the table and is reminded of the reason he came over in the first place. He carefully reaches over to the table and is glad that he’s able to reach without moving you around too much. He presses the button on the side to see a now fully-illuminated screen and a charged battery, as well as a text from Sam.

Double date friday night. Bring ur girl. I’m picking the place

He doesn’t let himself be upset at the fact that Sam’s bound to choose a place that requires him to wear a clown suit because he’s too caught up on it being a double date.

He hasn’t been on a double date since when he shipped out for the war. And times were very different then; he was very different. He’d be nervous even if he wasn’t fake dating you and was going with a real girlfriend.

Maybe I can cancel, tell him I’m busy. You know that won’t work though! You’ll reschedule over and over and over again until Sam just shows up out of the blue with his girlfriend, even worse if it’s an occasion where you tell Sam you are with her when you’re not. Bit the bullet, Barnes, it won’t kill you.

He glances down at your sleeping face, calm expression soothing his own nerves now that he’s replied with a text confirming both of your presences.

It’s only a double date, what’s the worst that can happen?

#bucky barnes #bucky x reader #bucky barnes series #bucky barnes au #marvel #famous last words

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nikibogwater · 3 years

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Aight, loves, I’m only running on four hours of sleep here, but it’s time to Blether (bitterly)

Niki Blethers: Trollhunters: Rise of the Titans (SPOILERS BELOW THE CUT!)

Okay, um, how ‘bout we start with the good stuff first and then move into the Real Discussion.

Animation? Gorgeous. Even watching the movie on a janky iPad screen, I was blown away by the visuals.

Voice Acting: *chef’s kiss* I think this is easily Emile Hirsch’s best performance as Jim. And oh land, Colin O’Donoghue once again nails Douxie’s desperation, exhaustion, and sorrow. Give everybody an Oscar here, they deserve it.

Some of the emotional beats hit so hard. I can’t say all of them, unfortunately, but I was definitely in tears in a couple of places.

Dang, this movie did not screw around. It was extremely hard to watch the Arcane Order torturing Douxie and Nari, Nomura’s death, Jim breaking pretty much all of his ribs…I know whump fans are gonna have a good time with this.

Douxie body swapping with Nari was both viscerally uncomfortable and also made my heart bleed because oh my gosh Douxie you selfless king, c’mere and let me hold you, you brilliant boy. Also @sergeantsporks, how in the blue blazes did you predict that was coming.

Really great to see Barbara in the thick of things. I guess she and Strickler adopted out all the Darklands babies. I’m also so glad that Jim’s father wasn’t some important, mysterious person who left for a noble cause. The guy is just a deadbeat, and that’s all there is to it. It really helps build up the theme of Jim’s arc—that anyone, even the most unlikely people, can move past such challenges and be a hero.

The moments between Jim and his mom were wonderful. Very heartwarming.

DOUXIE BREAKING THROUGH BELLROC’S CONTROL OVER NARI WAS JUST 👌👌👌 LITERALLY EVERYTHING I WANTED FROM THAT SCENE.

MAGICAL SIBLINGS HUG AAAAAAHHHHHH!!! LOOK HOW RELIEVED HE IS, LOOK AT HOW MUCH HE LOVES HER, YA GIRL NIKI TOTALLY CALLED THEIR DYNAMIC!

Badass Nari with the Earth Titan lives in my brain rent-free now.

As much as I hated Nari’s death, I have to admit that Douxie’s response to it was appropriately heart-wrenching. The way he kept desperately calling her name, only to gasp it out once more when he realized she was gone—that was some good angst right there.

I still hate it, tho. 🙂

CHILDREN OF THE SUN, YEEEEEEAH!!! GET ‘EM, JIM!

Jim and Toby being both the beginning and the end for the series is so heartwarming. Honestly lost it over Toby’s death sequence and the way Jim was clinging to him and sobbing.

Okay, time to address the many elephants in the room:

M!Preg Steve should not have happened. Period. That wasn’t funny, that was disgusting, and honestly kind of insulting to the very real challenge of bearing children and giving birth. I’m sorry Dreamworks, but that is a hard no for me.

There were a handful of scenes where characters didn’t feel fully present, emotionally. Like, when the team realizes that Douxie is in the Order’s clutches….no one seems very worried? Like, guys, I know there’s a lot going on right now, but they literally killed him the last time he meddled in their affairs, why is nobody expressing any concern here? And when Douxie realizes he’s never going to see Archie again, he just kind of….shrugs it off? Bro, Archie is your Familiar, he practically raised you, and has been your one constant for nearly 1000 years, don’t you at least want to shed a tear or something? This isn’t anything major, but it was enough to break immersion for me in a few places. Just….why aren’t you guys emoting like you usually do?

I especially noticed this with Nari. She always seemed…really disconnected from everyone, which felt odd, because in Wizards, she very clearly cared about the others, and expressed genuine sorrow over Jim’s suffering and Merlin’s death. But here she seemed kind of….ditzy and out-of-it. Girl, why don’t you just tell Jim what to do. Use your words, I know you have them.

The ending. Oh. My. Gosh, that ending.

Let me make one thing clear here: I’m not averse to bittersweet endings. One of my favorite movies of all time is How to Train Your Dragon: The Hidden World. What I hate is the fact that this movie basically retconned the entire series.

These characters who we have loved and followed over the last few years, related to their struggles, took comfort from their triumphs—all of that is gone now, in terms of canon. Everything and everyone was reset, with the exception of Jim. That doesn’t feel bittersweet. That feels pointlessly cruel. And to make it even worse, it wasn’t reset in a way that would allow for everyone to live in much-deserved peace. The Order is still there, the trials and suffering of the series still have to be repeated—but hey, it’s fine, because at least Jim gets to live happily ever after!!!

I cannot fathom how in the blue blazes anyone thought this was an appropriate finale to this series. What was the point of all those adventures, all those relationships, all those struggles and triumphs, if you were just going to erase them at the end? It feels cynical, not bittersweet or conclusive.

This was….a very difficult morning for me. Most of you know that my passion and love for this series has been a huge driving force in my creative growth as an author and an artist. To have it turn so sour, so suddenly, right at the end of it all…I’m probably going to need some time to get over this.

That being said, I know the team behind the movie was under a lot of pressure. Tales of Arcadia is known for being innovative and breaking storytelling molds. I can understand their desire to take the ending in such a drastically different direction. But I don’t think it was the ending this series deserves.

However, I’m aware that this is all pretty subjective. If you loved the ending, please don’t let my take on it ruin that happiness. Just be aware that I will probably be ignoring this movie’s existence as I continue to create fan content. I love these characters too much to abandon the fandom altogether, don’t worry.

#tales of arcadia #toa #rise of the titans #rott spoilers

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hawkinsschoolcounselor · 3 years

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Rebel Robin: Surviving Hawkins episode 2

Episode 2, Frankenstein, is out!

Listen to the podcast here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/2-frankenstein/id1571208591?i=1000527957465

A summary and my thoughts after the break!

This week, Robin goes to speak to Mr. Hauser during a free period, and they discuss the book Frankenstein. Robin wants to know why Mary Shelly isn’t taught in school. Mr. Hauser’s explanation that it isn’t on the curriculum isn’t satisfactory for Robin, who says that, as the teacher, he should be able to set the curriculum. Mr. Hauser responds that it isn’t up to him since he has to work within the system (the system being the Indiana Board of Education).

Robin’s take on Frankenstein impresses Mr. Hauser, though he’s not terribly surprised, given how intelligent he’s already noticed her to be. She expresses how the monster in the story was Dr. Frankenstein himself, not his creation, for feeling he could play god, toying with sentient life, but not caring for it. She feels that the real monster in the story, though, was the fear everyone felt when laying eyes on the monster. The fact that the creature was different led to it being an outcast, and it shouldn’t be surprising that it acted the way it did.

This feeds into a continuation of the existing theme of feeling trapped and powerless. Robin doesn’t really know who she is, and she doesn’t even know how she can figure it out while trapped in Hawkins. Robin desperately wants to make noise and rebel, but she feels too afraid to. She and Mr. Hauser talk, all the while Mr. Hauser continues to avoid any prying into his own life. He tries to allay Robin’s fears, while also urging her to be careful. After likening Robin’s argument to a Spielberg film, he takes care to note that while life isn’t full of rising scores and rousing speeches, Robin should feel able to give her own rousing speech at the right time.

There’s more talk of Operation: Croissant, Robin’s plan to tour Europe in the summer. Mr. Hauser probes for information, asking if she’s figured out who to take with her. This leads to conversation about how Robin doesn’t have any friends, just people from band she sits with. Robin gets defensive, thinking that Mr. Hauser is insinuating that she’s romantically interested in Dash. She repeats her disinterest in dating that she mentioned in the novel, voicing her frustration that 15 year olds are expected to date.

Mr. Hauser offers to help talk to her parents about her plan if she can come up with a list of potential travel partners. They talk more about Barb. It turns out Barb and Robin drifted apart after Barb joined a club with Nancy. Robin says that it wasn’t anything mean, and that Barb probably didn’t intend for it to happen. It’s clear that Robin feels more alone after losing Barb, as she thought they would always be dreaming of a better place than Hawkins together.

Their conversation is cut short by the arrival of Nancy, who wants to talk to Mr. Hauser about getting an extension on her assignments. She’s suffering badly at the loss of Barb, and the other events of season 1. She comments on her boyfriend, who might not actually be her boyfriend anymore, and the stress at home because Will is Mike’s best friend. Mr. Hauser clearly cares about all of his students, and asks Nancy to work with him to come up with a schedule for the rest of the school year.

Robin is listening in outside the room, but is interrupted by Steve, who is looking for Nancy. They have a rude exchange before Steve walks off. Robin comments on how there’s “monsters everywhere.”

So, after this episode it seems that 1) Robin is just as smart and perceptive as she came across in season 3 and 2) she’s incredibly frustrated by the “monster,” as she sees it, that forces people to conform. There’s an overall message, which I’ve also noticed in the series proper, that being happy might require being different. Mr. Hauser talks to Robin about finding what makes her happy as a sort of armor against the system. She’s despondent at the thought of always needing armor, and he suggests that she might someday find a place and people where she’s safe enough to not need it.

Robin’s sense of fear regarding the futility of fighting the system is palpable. She has no idea of how she can even figure out who she is in a place where being different is shunned. It’s an good look at the inner turmoil one can face when she doesn’t understand herself. It’s no wonder that she didn’t realize she was gay until someone found something she wrote about Tammy. She feels unable to explore that side of her, or any side that is different, because she has to work within a system that demands being a “productive member of society.”

Robin’s opposition to dating strikes home similarly to Will’s “I’m not gonna fall in love.” I know that lately a lot of people have been angry with people using Robin as a comparison point for other characters, but, if you read this far, then you probably know I’m not minimizing her at all. What we have here are two characters who are against the idea of dating because the assumption is that they need to pair off with the opposite sex. Robin herself simply assumes her feelings for Tammy are platonic because she has no point of comparison, and this may be how Will feels, as well. It’s compulsory heterosexuality simply due to there being no real alternative. If I’m right, then Mike fell into the trap that Robin and Will have been actively avoiding. Robin and Mike really need to talk.

I can’t wait to see where this podcast series takes us. I’m really enjoying this as a form of supplementary storytelling. It’s sort of a nice halfway between novel and TV show. It lacks the visual imagery and set design that the show would bring, but it gives emotion and nuance that can be lost through text.

Feel free to reply or reblog with your own thoughts!

#stranger things #rebel robin #mr hauser #robin buckley

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wannabe-fic-writer · 4 years

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Natasha Romanoff x Reader : Prove Me Wrong

Summary: She can trust you, even if she doesn’t know it yet.

Warning: 18+ Mental Health, Mentions of Death, Mentions of Violence, Mentions of Domestic Abuse, Smut

y/ht - your hometown

Chapter 3

******

You can’t lie and say you weren’t a little scared.

It’s been two days since you confronted Natasha about missing her sessions and your mind has been reeling since then.

Perhaps it worked, or maybe your timing had changed, but you’d ended up seeing her around more. You would feel her eyes lingering on you when you passed by her.

She didn’t spend too long around you, just yesterday the two of you were in the kitchen together and before you could muster up the courage to say “morning” she was gone.

Today is Friday.

The second you wake up you’re blinded by the sunlight pouring through the windows. Had you not kept yourself up last night with anxious thoughts of today you would’ve taken the intrusion like a champ, blinking through the pain of the light, and jumping up with fervor.

But since that’s exactly what you did, you grimace at the light, and fall back on to the bed. You sling your arm over your eyes to secure the darkness around you and let yourself lay there thoughtlessly for a moment.

‘Miss Y/L/N you have a scheduled appointment with Agent Romanoff in one hour.’

Damn you for inputting your schedule into F.R.I.D.A.Y’s system.

“Thanks F.R.I.D.A.Y.”

A single minute ticks by and you fling yourself out of bed.

The shower you take helps to ease your state of mind, but you’re not fully relaxed until you take your first sip of tea. As usual, the warmth of it does wonders to your body and you hum in enjoyment.

Feeling like you’re now ready to face whatever is about to happen, you leave out of the kitchen.

When you enter your office you startle.

Natasha stands at your filing cabinet, back facing you, as she fingers through a manila folder.

“Stark made sure to put everything in here.” She comments, making no move to look at you.

Heart still pounding, you think of a reply,“ that’s what he said.”

The woman’s shoulders bounce when she scoffs,“ still playing at that huh? Do you think I believe that you didn’t read this?”

Your prolonged silence makes her finally look at you. She takes in your incredibly comfortable looking outfit, gaze lingering on the fuzzy animal designed socks, then snapping up to your face to see nothing. There was no expression there, just you watching her as she does you.

“Help yourself to any of the snacks in the cabinet or the drinks in the fridge,” you step around your chair to the other filing cabinet to pull out the empty notebook you had intended to use for her sessions,“ and feel free to make yourself comfortable Miss Romanoff.” You gesture to the couch against the wall.

Deciding not to let her intimidate you, you sit in your chair and stick your feet underneath you. All the while Natasha continues watching you.

Truthfully, with the knowledge that she’s already made up her mind on you, you wonder what’s making her watch you so intently.

When the woman moves to stand behind you, the hairs on your neck stand up. Goosebumps erupt, not in a sexual tension kind of way, but in a ‘she could kill me right now and I’d be helpless’ way. But you aren’t scared.

She leans down, arms crossing as she rests against the back of your chair.“ I don’t trust you Y/L/N. I don’t trust someone who doesn’t have a dark side.”

You shake your head,“ you don’t trust me because you don’t know me.”

“I think I do.”

“Tell me.”

Finally she walks around you. Instead of sitting on the couch, she sits on the coffee table directly in front of you.

“You were born in y/ht, father wasn’t around so your mother moved the two of you to New York. You went to a fancy little school in Brooklyn and had doors opened for you all throughout your academic career. Since you were born with your empathic abilities you automatically felt like you should help people so you majored in Phycology and Sociology and became a therapist after you graduated.”

Listening intently to everything she says almost makes you laugh, but you know she’s serious and you don’t want to insult her in anyway.

Sitting forward, you lean on your knees,“ it seems you didn’t extend to me the same courtesy I did you.” She quirks a brow.“ Anyone can read my file Miss Romanoff. That doesn’t mean you know me. They’re facts of my life sure, but that’s not who I am.”

Before you indulge her clearly curious mind, you sip at your tea, slightly enjoying making her wait.

Natasha isn’t stupid, you never even began to think that. She prides herself on knowing things so of course she looked into you before you even entered the building most likely. But as you said, a file can’t tell you who a person is.

“My name is y/f/n. I was in y/ht. My dad was around, always drinking and waiting to kick the crap out of myself and my mom, which resulted in me sleeping in a locked closet to avoid his anger. When I turned ten my mom finally left him and we moved to Brooklyn.”

She would never admit to being shocked by that but you feel that she is.

You continue,“ I did go to a fancy school but not a single door opened for me that I didn’t open myself. My powers manifested right before I enrolled in school, so when I got there my brain lit up like a power plant and I had no idea what to do about it. I struggled to get through school every day because it was too much to feel everyone’s emotions all at once. Which means my grades were shit for a long time.

I just barely made it through school and lucked into graduating. I didn’t learn how to handle my powers until college. Also, I became a therapist because I know if I had someone to talk to growing up I would’ve felt a hell of a lot better and decided that I’d like to help people in the way I hadn’t been. And for the record, I don’t use my powers with my patients unless given explicit consent to do so.”

Her mind is full of thoughts. She’s processing everything you’ve told her and trying to understand how she had missed all of that.

Natasha has been learning how to read people her whole life. She’s mastered the ability to conceal her true emotions behind what she want’s people to see and thought she knew how to detect when someone else was doing the same.

Apparently she wasn’t that good at it. Or she is and you’re just really good at hiding.

The sound of a plastic wrapper opening grabs her attention and she looks at you.

You bite into the sweet little pastry before looking at her,“ oh did you want one?”

She shakes her head.

Chewing and swallowing, you speak up again,“ you didn’t know because I didn’t want you too. I’m here to help the team, they all have more than enough going on, they don’t need to be feeling guilty about unloading their issues on someone who’s had a shitty hand as well. Besides I’ve worked past it and I refuse to let that define me.”

“I imagine it’s not easy to take on their emotions as well as your own.” She acknowledges.

“Nothing I can’t handle. And it’s worth it regardless of it’s difficulty.”

“Tony brought you in, I take it you worked with him before then?”

You shrug,“ we’ve spoken off the record a couple of times. I met him through Pepper who was my previous patient.”

She nods, just barely looking intrigued by that.

It’s quiet between the two of you for a while.

In said time you finished your tea, ate yet another snack, and reorganized Sam’s files(the man had taken it upon himself to put them away after your last session and started reading them, of course he didn’t put them back in the proper order).

Just as you’ve decided to go get some more tea she speaks up.

Her eyes had been on you this whole time, only now they lock with yours,“ you should lock your filing cabinets. It’s careless to leave them open for anyone to get to.”

“They are locked. Only myself and the patient who the cabinet belongs to can open it. Fingerprint scanners are on the underside of every handle.”

She narrows her eyes at you,“ how’d you get my fingerprints?”

You don’t answer, just giving her a smirk instead.

No, you can’t answer because you don’t know where they really came from. While talking to Tony about securing the files you’d obviously thought keys but he said that was too much and that he’d “handle” it.

Somehow he got the teams fingerprints and yours. But you shouldn’t have expected anything less of the genius billionaire.

“I’m going to get some more tea, if you plan to stay, would you like something?” You ask, stopping with your hand on the door.

Natasha nods,“ tea.”

When the door shuts behind you, you release a breath that you felt like you’d been holding the whole time. You drop your head, looking at your shoes as you think.

You don’t think she’s playing at any angle, in fact you know she isn’t. But you also know she’s avoiding.

You can be patient though. She’ll run out of things to ask you and if not you know exactly how to gain control of a conversation.

Deciding you didn’t want her to come find you lingering outside the door like a weirdo, you walk away.

Tony, Steve, and Bucky are in the kitchen when you get there.

“T, glad you’re here, I need a coffee maker in my office.”

He looks from Steve to you,“ I was wondering when you’d ask for one. Thought you were a robot for a minute there.”

You roll your eyes, greeting Steve and Bucky instead of replying,“ morning Steve, morning Buck.”

“More like afternoon but hey.” Bucky says.

Eyes wide, you look to the clock on the wall. It is indeed two in the afternoon. There’s no way you were in there that long with Natasha. You swear it was much shorter than that.

“Everything okay?” Steve asks, noticing the frown on your face.

You nod,“ just lost track of time.”

Tony scoffs,“ Romanoff givin you a run for your money huh.”

“I don’t discuss my patients Tony.”

No one misses the fact that you’re fixing two cups of tea though and that does make them wonder how you’re doing with Natasha.

While she hadn’t spoken to you she obviously talked to her team so they were privy to the way she felt about going to see you. Steve was worried that she’d be less than nice to you and Tony just knew she wouldn’t take to you too well.

He also knows you so he was sure you would get to her eventually.

Once you’re finally finished up you smile to each of them and leave out.

Entering your office this time, you partly expect her to be gone. So you’re just barely surprised to find her resting against your desk, flicking through the notebook you were writing in for her.

“I’m consciously deflecting in order to avoid addressing my traumas.” Her gaze flickers up to you,“ and what traumas do you think I’m avoiding Y/N?”

You move forward, stepping lightly, until you stop in front of her. Handing her a cup of tea you tilt your head a little,“ you tell me. While some people know exactly how to push trauma away, almost avoiding it completely, you accept yours and use it as motivation.”

A small, adorable hum leaves her lips as she sips the tea, but it’s quickly forgotten when she looks at you with those piercing green eyes. It’s clear she want to hear what else you have to say, but you’d much rather she talk.

“Miss Romanoff, I can only observe you and make my own conclusions but I’d much rather know the truth. And only you can tell me that. So I’m listening, whenever you’re ready to address the issue.”

With that said, you smile softly, and go to sit on the couch. Your actions cause Natasha to raise a brow. Admittedly she’s not sure why you chose to sit there instead of your own chair.

Simply put, you did so for her to feel comfortable. It’s clear Natasha feels comfortable when she’s in control and you’ve deduced that she doesn’t feel completely in control with you.

Giving her your seat is your way of handing her control. You’d learned that while the seat doesn’t mean control in itself, usually the person sitting in it(you in this case) drives the conversation. That’s how patients feel, in the beginning at least. It’s all mental really but it’s the best you can do.

Cautiously, Natasha sits in your chair.

“I see nothing wrong with being motivated by the past.” She starts, her eyebrow quirking challengingly.

You shrug,“ neither do I. I’m motivated by my past. But objectively speaking I believe your past is holding you back more than it motivates.”

“And let me guess, you can’t tell me how.” She smirks as if she’s won something.

“Nope,” you pop the P in the word and smile back.“ But that’s because I don’t know anything about you. We both know the only way that’ll change is if you trust me. And that will only happen if you keep coming to see me.”

When she stands to leave you’re expecting it.

“You know Miss Romanoff,” she stops at the door to look at you,“ I may not have dealt with issues such as the ones you and your team have presented me with, but I am qualified to do this job. I find it slightly offensive that you don’t trust me to.”

Just like before your words leave Natasha thinking that she has definitely misjudged you. And she’d be lying if she said she wasn’t intrigued by you.

******

taglist: @username23345 @muffliat-o @nat-km-mh @aaron-despair @natasha-danvers

#natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff x reader #black widow #black widow x reader #marvel #marvel x reader #mcu #mcu x reader #prove me wrong #reader insert

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marvelslut16 · 3 years

Text

Almost lost him

Pairing: James ‘Rhodey’ Rhodes x Stark!reader

Synopsis: Tony’s little sister had always had feelings for one James R. Rhodes. She’s kept it a secret for years, but will everything come out after he is injured during the fight against Cap?

word count: 2.4k+

Warnings: Brief cannon violence. Angst. Mentions paralysis. Swearing. Age gap. Also I have a specific age for the character mentioned.

A/N: This has been sitting in my WIP’s for over a year because I loved it so much and I didn’t want to end it poorly lmao. I know no ones gonna read it since he isn’t a popular character, but oh well. I love this fic and I love Rhodey so that’s all that matters.

Tony and (Y/N) Stark have saved the world from terrorists once again.

“Can you believe this title?” you laugh showing Rhodey the article on your phone.

“I was there too,” he says gruffly.

“You just aren’t special enough,” you tease, sticking your tongue out like you’re five and not thirty-six.

“Not everyone’s lucky enough to be a Stark,” Tony, your annoying but lovable older brother, enters the compound’s kitchen.

Tony took you under his wing and raised you since your parents died. It was a lot for a twenty-one year old to handle, no one he knew had to take care of an eleven year old. Especially one with newly discovered powers. They weren’t much, but when emotions would get overwhelming you would have white colored beams come from your hands. This later helped Tony come up with the idea for the repulsors on his Iron Man suit, which you helped him build.

As the years passed, you got a better hold on your new found powers. The more you and Tony dug into your parents past, you started to think that your dad had either given you something when you were a baby or your mom was given something while pregnant to make you like this. Your Dad always called you special, but you never thought you were this special.

“Any progress with Steve?” you ask hopefully. You know how much Tony values his friendship with Cap, he just won’t admit it. Especially because he’s hurt.

“No,” he grunts, but tries to brush it off like he doesn’t care. You and Rhodey give each other unamused looks, clearly not believing the bullshit Tony is trying to feed you.

“I think you should try to reach out to him again, you clearly miss him Tony,” you frown at the dark haired man in front of you.

“I agree with (Y/N/N),” Rhodey speaks up from behind you. He’s closer than you remember, and you shiver as you feel the little licks of his breath on your neck as he speaks.

“You love birds can shut up now,” Tony rolls his eyes, he leaves the kitchen without anything.

Heat immediately rushes to your face and you can’t look Rhodey in the eye as you stutter out an apology for Tony’s actions. You quickly leave the kitchen before he can respond, wanting to put distance between your blushing self and the man you had been in love with for years.

You had hoped that the conversation in the kitchen would have convinced Tony to reach out and make amends with Steve and half of the Avengers. But things only continued to escalate, where it seemed a battle between friends was unavoidable. So that's how you ended up in Germany, with your newest recruit Spider-Man, facing off against the people you cared most about in this world.

“Rhodey!” you scream as you watch him plummet to the Earth. Time seems to slow to a near standstill and all you can do is watch, too far away from him to be able to help somehow. Your knees buckle and you hit the ground at the same time his body does. There's a scream that’s so loud it rattles the windows of the airport hanger, a scream you weren’t even aware left your own lips.

Vision tries to approach you, but you let out a sound that's between a sob and a scream as he gets closer. You’re angry, and scared, you can feel a rush of something in your veins. You ball your hands in fists, bringing them to your chest as you curl into yourself.

The sound of metal crunching together pulls you from your rocking back and forth on your knees. You see a white glow, one that you're extremely familiar with, dissipating from around two shipping containers, now crushed together where vision was hovering. If he had stayed solid, he would have been crushed. You’re shaking even more as you stare down at your hands, you had never been able to move objects before. You could have hurt somebody. You can’t dwell on it too long because Peter runs to your side, telling you that Rhodey had a heartbeat and help was on the way.

It had felt like hours since Tony, Peter, and you had landed back down in the states. Dr. Cho was working with a spine specialist and a neurosurgeon to figure out the extent of the damage. After a while, they had updated you three, telling you that Rhodey broke his spine and they were taking him into surgery. Tony had left to go fiddle with one of his suits, his coping mechanism. He left the kid with you because he didn’t want you alone.

“How did you two meet?” Peter breaks the silence.

“Hmm?” you look away from the painting in front of you for the first time since you sat in the waiting room chair, to look at the boy.

“Mr. Rhodes, how did you two meet?” he clarifies.

“That’s a long story,” your eyes glaze over as memories start to come flooding back.

“I have time,” Peter gives you a small smile, you can really see what Tony see’s in the kid. The kindness that his Aunt May has taught him is abundantly clear, you know he’s only asking for your benefit.

“He met Tony when they went to MIT together, he somehow found a way to put up with my brother's antics. I didn’t meet him until two years after Tony graduated, so I was eleven,” you let out a little laugh as you realize just how long the older man has been in your life, and in your heart. “He came to my parents funeral for support for Tony, but he became my support system. Everyone seemed to ignore me and go straight for the golden boy, but Tony became too overwhelmed quickly. He introduced me to Rhodey who was the first one, besides Tony of course, to ask me how I was. He ended up spending the entire wake and funeral with me, giving me support and effectively distracting me from my pain.”

You look over at the younger boy, who seems to be staring at you with fascination. He sees the pain on your face when you stop talking, reaching over he grabs your hand loosely. Testing the waters to see if you’ll pull away from affection like Tony has with him. You give him a thankful smile and hold his hand before continuing your story.

“He joined the military not long after that. At first I would send him care packages and letters so he didn’t feel alone when he was deployed. One day when I was writing a letter one of Tony’s flings came into the kitchen and called me a pathetic child because I was crushing on Tony’s friend after I explained what I was doing. He never got that letter, or any after that. We didn’t really talk much after that, if he came to visit Tony I’d be pleasant before locking myself in my room. I guess I was embarrassed over my school girl crush. Years passed, lots of years, before Tony went missing, James was the one that told me what happened. And in those following months he would rarely leave my side, he wanted to make sure I was okay. We were finally both adults, and we gained a real friendship.”

“That sounds like more than a friendship,” Peter sends you an innocent look. You furrow your eyebrows at him in response, Rhodey definitely doesn’t like you back. “I’m just saying, if Liz was like that with me I would be ecstatic that she liked me back.”

“He sees me as a little sister, Peter,” your heart breaking a little more knowing that you’ll never be able to be with the man you’ve loved for years. Before Peter can refute you, Rhodey’s Neurosurgeon walks into the waiting room- some guy named Dr. Strange.

“How is he?” you jump out of your seat, Peter quickly following suit, his hand falling from yours at the movement.

“He’s out of surgery Miss. Stark,” his voice coming out as cocky and full of himself, like he’s overly proud that he did this surgery. “But the recovery will be the difficult part.”

“What happened? What’s still wrong? And when can I see him?” you’re shooting out questions faster than the surgeon can answer.

“I’m not at liberty to discuss that with you Miss. Stark, and you can’t see him until he’s out of the ICU,” the smug look is still on the surgeon's face, making you grow angrier with each word that leaves his mouth.

“Excuse me?” Peter looks between you and the surgeon with wide curious eyes.

“You aren’t family,” he states matter-of-factly. “Therefore I can’t tell you and you can’t see him.”

Your eye twitches in anger as your body starts to warm, your powers start to react to the strong emotion. You take a deep calming breath, keeping you from accidentally lashing out at the surgeon.

“I suggest you rethink that answer,” you say deathly calm, Peter stares at you in awe as you talk back to the man. “And consider who paid for all of the new state-of-the-art Stark technology and equipment you have in this hospital. Things I’m sure that you used in that surgery, that I donated to this hospital through the outreach program that I created. Technology created by both me and my brother.”

“Is there a problem here?” a man’s voice comes from behind you, he sounds irritated that someone’s making a scene. You turn around to face the man, who is wearing a badge that says medical director on it. Perfect. His eyes widen as soon as he recognizes who you are.

“Actually there is,” you frown. “My colleague, my friend. My favorite person after my brother really, he just had a pretty big surgery, but your surgeon here won’t tell me any details or let me go see him. So yes, we have a huge problem.”

“I’m so sorry Miss. Stark,” he exclaims. “Why don’t we go update you in private.”

“Did I sound like a bitch?” you frown, whispering to Peter as the two of you follow the MD and the surgeon. He nods a little with a smirk adorning his face.

“But it was awesome!” you grin at the young boy, remembering the excitement you felt when you saw Tony use his name to get what he wanted for the first time.

“He’s paralyzed,” the surgeon throws the statement around like it isn’t a big deal as soon as the four of you enter a separate room. “From the waist down. There was nothing we could do.”

Your heart and your lungs seem to stop working at the same time. Peter discreetly uses his super strength to catch you as your legs give out at the surgeon's words. Tears start to pour down your face as you realize all of the things Rhodey will never be able to again. Like never being able to help defend his country again, or chase after you when you steal the last cookie that he wanted.

You can’t help but feel guilty. If he had never met you and Tony he would be fine. He would still be able to do what he loves. He never would have been put in that situation. He’ll never be able to walk again. He won’t have the opportunity to dance at his wedding or chase his children around if he decided to have either of those.

“I know it’s a lot Miss. Stark,” the MD’s voice is muffled. “But there was nothing we could have done-”

“When can I see him?” you cut the doctor off.

“I could take you to him now,” he glares at the surgeon. “He won’t wake for at least a few more hours.”

“Peter, go call Tony and tell him the update,” you look at the young boy, he gives your hand a reassuring squeeze before heading back to the waiting room.

The surgeon and the MD both ramble on about Rhodey’s condition but their voices sound muffled- like you’re underwater. You feel like you're suffocating in all the pain and grief you feel for the love of your life. He’s lying on the bed, oxygen tubing up his nose, at least ten wires connected to him, and the disgusting beep of his heart monitor reminds you how lucky you are that he’s still here with you.

The two men quickly leave you with Rhodey, but not before the MD promises that he’ll be under constant supervision and he’ll receive the best treatments they offer. Not that you're shocked to hear that with the scene you cause in the waiting room. You grab Rhodey’s hand, careful to avoid yanking the IV in it, pulling his hand up to your mouth to give it a feather light kiss. Tears slip down your cheeks as you stare at his still body, you were so close to losing him today.

The tears have stopped by the time Tony shows up close to an hour later, he had dropped Peter off at home before coming up to the hospital room. Your older brother looks as distressed as you feel, although he seems to be tryin to hide it more than you are.

“How is he?” his voice is quieter than you imagined, like he’s afraid any louder will make you crumble.

“Stable,” your voice is monotonous, and you refuse to tear your eye’s from Rhodey’s face as you respond to Tony. “About as good as he could be I guess.”

“How are you?” he cuts you off as you go to respond that you're fine. “And don’t bullshit me (Y/N/N), you’ve been in love with him since you were eleven. How are you feeling?”

You don’t respond, not with words at least. Instead you do crumble, letting out a quiet sob as you grip Tony’s hand that he was about to place on your shoulder. Tony runs his free hand through your hair and down your back, trying to soothe you like he used to when you would have nightmares after your parents deaths.

“We almost lost him today Tony, I almost lost him-” another sob racks through your body. “And now he’s paralyzed. He can never walk again, can never defend his Country again. And for what? A disagreement between you and Steve? We could have lost him Tony for something so fucking stupid.”

Before Tony can respond, a muffled voice breaks through the tension in the room. The voice is gravely, but one you love so dearly, it’s Rhodey’s. “(Y/N)?”

Permeant tags: @crimson-knuckled-queen @rexorangecouny @mrs-malfoy-always

#rhodey x reader #james rhodes #war machine #war machine x reader #stark!reader #rhodey x stark!reader #war machine x stark!reader #tony stark x sister!reader #marvel #marvel imagine #marvel one shot #marvel x reader #marvel fanfiction #iron man #the avengers

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stxphxn-strange · 3 years

Text

i found the one, he changed my life (what now?) [i’d love it if we made it, pt. 3]

a/n: holy SHIT i am so happy about the way this turned out, this continues the story of college AU!tony dealing with his ex and the pressure he puts on himself to be honest with his friends. (title from “what now” by rihanna) TW: discussion of abusive relationships, mention of surgery, unhealthy/stalking behaviors, and i think that’s it but pls lmk if there’s anything else i should tag

summary: “He’s obsessed with you [...] I think he loves me, I feel certain that he loves me. But he feels some kind of way about you, and it’s creepy,” Bucky elaborated, leaving Anthony at a loss for words.

“It’s a nice day, seasonal allergies aside,” Anthony remarked.

“I would put flowers in your hair and be all cute and shit but I’m trying not to make you sneeze,” Stephen replied. “That would be unfortunate.”

Anthony laughed lightly and rested his head on Stephen’s shoulder. “You can still pet my head though, that would be nice.”

“Has anyone ever told you that you’re terrible at subtlety?” Stephen asked, beginning to play with Anthony’s hair.

“I think you did this morning,” Anthony replied. “Because you’re obnoxious.”

“Isn’t that why you love me?” Stephen teased, batting his eyelashes.

“It’s one of many reasons,” Anthony said, a soft smile on his face. “It is really nice out though.”

“Listen I know I’m always on time, but can we make an exception today?” Christine sat across from the couple, her auburn hair made extra bright by the sunlight as she pulled it out of her face. “Sorry I’m late.”

“The way that you’re literally not sorry at all makes that apology for me,” Stephen said. “Don’t worry about it though, we’ve just been hanging out. Where’s Hope?”

“Inside, for some reason,” Christine replied with a shrug.

“Probably because it’s allergy season,” Anthony commented, rolling his eyes as he sneezed again.

“He complains, despite begging me to sit outside with him,” Stephen added.

“That doesn’t sound like me, but go off I guess,” Anthony replied, picking up his phone. “Hey Rhodey, what’s up?”

“Are you running errands by chance?” Rhodey asked.

“Nope, I’m sitting outside with Steph and Christine,” Anthony said. “Why, do you need something?”

“I was just going to ask if I could send you a short list of things I wanted. Not a big deal but I’m out of cereal,” Rhodey replied.

“Text it to me anyway, I don’t think I’m going out but if I do I’ll get whatever you want,” Anthony said with a shrug.

“You’re the best Tones. By the way are you feeling better?” Rhodey asked.

“A little bit. It’s nice just sitting outside,” Anthony replied. “I dunno. I’m not thinking about it.”

“Fair enough. Enjoy the fresh air, don’t worry about the cereal though! See you later.”

“Bye Rhodey, everyone say bye!”

Christine and Stephen shouted their goodbyes as Anthony ended the call.

“You good?” Christine asked kindly.

“Yeah, sorta.” Anthony shrugged again. “I just didn’t sleep a lot last night, so that wasn’t fun. I’ve been stressed out about… things. Turns out it actually is weird to have one of your friends dating your ex.”

Christine hummed. “Tea. I thought there was something bothering you, like more than just the awkwardness. I can read you well enough by now. So what’s wrong?”

“Honestly I don’t want to tell you this exact minute because I feel like the only person who should hear this privately is Bucky. I’ll have to see how I feel after I talk with him, and if I’m okay then I’ll probably tell everyone in the group all at once. I just don’t want to repeat the same story over and over again, that’s going to wear me down,” Anthony replied. “I hope that’s okay.”

“Oh my god dude that’s fine! No stress,” Christine rushed to assure him. “You just seem sad and I want to help but I also don’t want you to make yourself feel worse, that’s not fair to you.”

Anthony breathed a sigh of relief. “Thanks Christine.”

“Don’t worry about it!” Christine said.

Anthony sneezed again, not seeing the need to reply beyond that. There was just nothing else to say.

“Let’s go inside,” Stephen suggested. “It’s getting kinda gross out anyway.”

“Oh sorry, that’s because I’m out here. I’ll leave.” Anthony jokingly moved to stand up, laughing raucously when Stephen pulled him into a hug before he even stood.

“Nooo, you’re good! You stay,” Stephen replied. “The sun is out because you’re here.”

Anthony blushed and buried his head against Stephen’s collarbone. “Oh hush.”

Christine stood up. “I may as well go inside while you two idiots keep flirting, now my allergies are acting up.”

“You’re not allergic to pollen,” Stephen remarked, standing up and offering Anthony his hand.

“I’m not allergic to most things, but I’m allergic to your bullshit,” Christine quipped. “I feel like I tell you that at least once a week.”

Anthony laughed and stood up, smiling as he wrapped his arms around Stephen’s waist.

“In all seriousness, you’re cute together,” Christine continued.

“Oh we know,” Anthony said. “How was your day Christine?”

The trio headed inside as Christine thought about how to answer.

“Honestly I don’t think anything even happened today.” she finally said. “Hope and I had breakfast together and I quite literally ran into Carol in the library. It was nice to catch up with her though because I feel like I haven’t seen her in years.”

“Now that I think about it, I also feel like I haven’t seen Carol in a long time,” Stephen said.

“We didn’t talk for too long since we were in the library, but she seems good,” Christine replied. “I think she and Val are still unpacking so they’ve been focused on that, y’know?”

“Makes sense. Props to them for moving in the middle of the year, that’s too much for me. That’s why I’m making everyone wait until the summer,” Anthony said.

“You’re not making anyone wait, you’re just making sense,” Stephen corrected him. “Moving is stressful enough, I don’t want to deal with it during exam season and neither does anyone else.”

“Can I plan your housewarming party?” Christine asked, opening the apartment door.

“Who said anything about a housewarming party?” Anthony replied.

“Wong said I could throw one once you’re all moved in,” Christine explained. “We don’t have a contract in writing yet, but that’s because—”

“Because I never said you could throw us a party!” Wong shouted from the living room. He was sitting in his usual armchair by the window, half paying attention to whatever show Bucky and an all too familiar blond were watching. “Also Bucky is here again, and he brought a friend.”

“Boyfriend,” Bucky chimed in. “We’re going to dinner soon, I just left my jacket here the other day and then I decided I’d introduce Steve to you guys. So yeah, this is my boyfriend Steve. Steve, this is Christine, Stephen, and I think you know Tony. I heard there’s a history there or something.”

Bucky was trying his best to prematurely make the best of an awkward situation, but Steve was the only one who found any humor in what he said.

The offending blond laughed and nodded, his expression unreadable in a way that made Anthony freeze. He was looking with condescension at their entwined hands, like he didn’t approve of Stephen and Anthony finally being together. With an arrogant sniff, he got off his high horse long enough to respond. “I know him and Stephen, actually. You both look good.”

“Thanks,” Stephen replied, his teeth bared in a forced, blatantly hostile grin.

Anthony rubbed at his eyes, tearing up from the situation and his allergies. “Yeah good to see you too, if you’ll excuse me I need to take some allergy medication.” He couldn’t run and hide in the bathroom fast enough, and he knew everyone in the room could see him trembling.

Stephen let his genuine emotion break through his façade for a moment, frowning as he watched Anthony retreat. His steely look of disapproval returned a minute later as he sat down in the kitchen, eavesdropping on the group’s conversation.

“Mind if I get some water? I didn’t get to hydrate as much today,” Steve asked.

Stephen, pretending to be busy, glared at his phone like he was reading a poorly worded email. He paid little attention to the blond as he bumbled around the kitchen, following Wong’s directions on where to find cups and the Brita and other shit.

“So you’ve finally come back to the city, hm? Tony used to tell me about how you both grew up here and how New York never left you,” Steve asked Stephen. He was making an extremely poor attempt to sound friendly, but all he did was make the med student extremely uncomfortable.

Stephen gave a forced laugh. “Yeah, they couldn’t keep me away.”

“Seems like you couldn’t keep yourself away from Tony either, not with the amount of times he cheated on me with you,” Steve remarked.

“Listen, we both know that’s not true and I barely want to give you the time of day. You know damn well he never cheated on you and I don’t have to justify myself to you. After all, you were the cheater. If you think I’m just going to roll over in my own apartment and let you run your mouth like that, especially knowing how badly you treated my Anthony, then you’ve got another thing coming,” Stephen snapped. “Do I make myself clear?”

“Clearly anyone who thinks I’m aggressive and controlling hasn’t met you,” Steve said, closing the fridge and leaving Stephen fuming in the kitchen.

After 15 minutes of ignoring some small talk, Stephen had had enough. Anthony was still hiding somewhere and Stephen was just over Steve being in his apartment. He was trying not to be too angry, because Bucky didn’t know about how Steve and Anthony’s breakup or relationship went. Stephen couldn’t, and didn’t, blame him.

But Steve was a coward and a jerk, and Stephen wouldn’t touch him with an 11 foot pole. Stephen wouldn’t even get close to him to shove him headfirst out the door, actually.

“I’m gonna be in my room studying if you guys need anything, enjoy your dinner Bucky!” He said, waving at his friends in the living room and pointedly ignoring Steve.

“Thanks man! If you want to hang out later, maybe on a double date or something—”

“Oh I’d love that!” Steve chimed in, unprovoked and uninvited.

“Depends on what Ant’s doing, I know I’m pretty busy tonight but if he wants to go out then we’ll let you know,” Stephen said firmly. He heard the bathroom door open behind him and Anthony’s light footsteps in the hall.

“I think I’ll just run to the bathroom before we leave, if that’s alright?” Steve asked.

“Are you asking me?” Stephen replied, ignoring him and heading in the direction of his bedroom. “Don’t you dare patronize me.”

Anthony was standing nervously outside Stephen’s room, staring at the floor. He looked horrified and meek, pressing his back against the wall and hoping he’d disappear out of Steve’s gaze.

But of course he wasn’t that lucky. Sometimes it felt like he’d never truly get away from the way Steve used to look at him and was apparently still looking at him.

Anthony looked up as Stephen gently tapped his shoulder. “Hey… you alright?”

He forced himself to nod, tears still pooling in his eyes from either anxiety or allergies. Maybe both. “Yeah, I guess. It’s just—”

“Oh there you are Tony! Bucky and I are leaving, so I thought I’d say goodbye,” Steve said, lingering in the doorway to the bathroom. “Maybe we could go for a double date later? If you’re allowed to, that is. I always said Strange was a controlling downgrade, didn’t I?”

“Good thing I never listened when you said that, because I’m much happier now,” Anthony muttered.

“Aww, don’t be a bad sport! It’ll be just like the glory days.” Steve appeared to be ignoring his current relationship to flirt with Anthony, stepping out of the doorway and leaning closer (read: too close for comfort) to him.

“I don’t know about that,” Anthony said, his voice taut. “I wouldn’t want to be around you for much longer. Seeing you is already making me think about our… could you call it a relationship?”

“You’re so funny Tony, just as funny as I remember.” Steve sounded like a content house cat as he quite literally purred at Tony. “I miss that humor. I just miss you.”

“I can’t say the feeling is mutual.”

++++

“Not to state the obvious, but I hate that guy,” Stephen muttered, storming into the kitchen a few hours later.

“Is Ant okay?” Wong hadn’t moved from his seat in the living room, except for the fact that he was laying across the armchair sideways and there were three more mystery novels next to him.

“He’s sleeping. Even before all of that shit went down,” Stephen began, gesturing to the air in front of him, “We were outside for long enough that even if he won’t admit it, his allergies are bothering him.”

“How long were you outside for before I came to sit with you guys?” Christine asked.

“Maybe 90 minutes? Long enough to be considered too long,” Stephen replied. “It doesn’t matter. Did you guys eat yet?”

“No, we were waiting on you and Pepper. She said she’d be back by 7,” Christine said.

“What do you want? I’m open to suggestions,” Stephen asked. “I kinda want to make pasta but I know I’m not good enough at it so it wouldn’t make Anthony happy.”

“Don’t be stupid, Stephen. It absolutely would, and you know that,” Christine scolded him. “Do whatever you feel like! And I think pasta sounds nice.”

Stephen nodded. “Fair enough. I’m making ravioli and none of you can stop me. We deserve it.”

“Oh no Stephen don’t do that, don’t make something that you like to cook and that we all like to eat,” Wong teased. “Christine, he’s too powerful, we have to stop him.”

Stephen humorously rolled his eyes. “Anthony is the one who gave me a good recipe, so technically we all have him to thank for enabling me. Except not right now. Let him sleep.”

++++

“Oh by the way, I told Bucky that I’d get coffee with him later and we’re going to talk about whatever the hell happened this weekend,” Anthony said. “Do you want me to bring you back anything while I’m out?”

“Hmm… I don’t think so.” Stephen drew a heart on the back of Anthony’s hand with his thumb, something he noticed himself doing a lot.

Anthony always rewarded him for the gesture with the smallest, shyest smile that Stephen thought was the most adorable thing ever. “Text me if you change your mind, yeah?”

“Okay, I will.” Stephen smiled back at him, lovingly brushing Anthony’s hair out of his face. “Also if I send you a list will you help me decide on a movie for tonight?”

“Not sure you’re asking the right person, but sure,” Anthony replied.

“That’s subjective. I think I’m asking the right person,” Stephen said. “You’ve never steered me wrong before.”

“I hope I never do.” Anthony pressed a soft, sweet kiss to Stephen’s lips. “But knowing you, you’ll definitely change your mind about wanting a tea or something.”

“If I do, I’ll tell you,” Stephen replied, smiling into the kiss. “Promise. Have a good day, and good luck later.”

“I think I’m going to need it,” Anthony said with a little nervous laugh.

“Would a kiss help your luck?” Stephen couldn’t keep a neutral face. “I never imagined myself saying that. Or getting to kiss you.”

“Stop it, don’t make me blush this early in the day,” Anthony replied. “In all seriousness, I love you. And your kisses are magical, who’s to say they aren’t lucky?”

++++

Anthony couldn’t say whether or not he felt lucky later that day, because the only thing he felt was nervous. Bucky looked just as nervous and sheepish as Anthony did, and his internal monologue had already switched to guilt. They exchanged small talk and pleasantries while they waited for their coffee, their mutual discomfort becoming more and more tangible by the minute.

Most people joked that Anthony talked to hear the sound of his own voice, but today he was so nervous he couldn’t hear himself think. He didn’t know what to say or even where to start. Thankfully, Bucky blurted out a question before Anthony thought about how to start the conversation.

“How long were you two together?”

“Two and a half years, give or take. And I didn’t cheat on him with Stephen.”

“I didn’t think so. I wasn’t even going to ask about that.” Bucky smiled, trying to somehow calm Anthony down with his expression. “Who broke it off?”

“Me. Sometimes I feel like I did it a lot later than I should have, honestly.” Anthony shrugged. “I wasn’t ever happy in that relationship. I wanted to be, and I did everything I could to make it work even at my own expense, but eventually I had to end it. I’m happier now, but sometimes I still… I shouldn’t say any of this to you, not if you’re happy.”

“You know what bothers me, though?”

Anthony wasn’t expecting that. “What’s up?”

“I don’t think he’s over you. And that doesn’t bother me in a jealous sense, I’m not like that, but I feel almost used. Especially after this weekend,” Bucky said.

“What do you mean?” That worried Anthony for a lot of reasons, and he couldn’t decide which one was the most important.

“Tony, he's obsessed with you. The entire time we were driving Sunday night he wouldn’t stop talking about you, to the point where it was weird. I started to feel like he used me to see you,” Bucky replied. “One time I showed him a group picture, this was like six months ago, from that time we went out ice skating and ever since then he’s been pestering me about you. I don’t even think it has anything to do with me, if that makes sense.”

“I’m not following,” Anthony admitted. “Not entirely, anyway.”

“I think he loves me, I feel certain that he loves me. But he feels some kind of way about you, and it’s creepy,” Bucky said. “Now as I said it’s not jealousy, I just think it’s a bit disturbing that he’s so hung up on you.”

Anthony nodded slowly. “Yeah, I don’t like that. He didn’t want me to dump him but I had to, there’s no two ways about it. What happened Sunday?”

“We had a disagreement. I told him I felt used and he wasn’t happy about that, but he didn’t deny it either,” Bucky replied. “I was hoping he’d drop the whole thing but I don’t think he’s going to. I don’t think he’s going to ever get over you, honestly.”

“Damn. I’m sorry you had to deal with all of that.” Anthony nervously ran a hand through his hair, fighting the urge to pull at it. “Um… yeah I don’t really know what to think or what to say.”

“Neither do I,” Bucky admitted. “I really want to try things out with him and see how they continue, but I also don’t think he’s going to change. Now that he’s actually seen you, I feel like it’s only going to be more awkward.”

“Oh about that, I’m sorry I didn’t want to go out the other day,” Anthony said. “I was going to try and make myself power through it, but… just being around him for however long you guys were in the apartment was way too much. I got really anxious and just hid in Stephen’s room. And then, on an unrelated note, I ended up sleeping for 14 hours or something.”

“I’m sorry if I was forceful. I didn’t know how to subtly ask if he was making you uncomfortable in the moment, but I could see it,” Bucky replied. “I don’t blame you.”

Anthony shrugged. “Dude I’m at a loss, generally speaking. I don’t know what to say about everything you just told me, but honestly I’m feeling a little sick.”

“Are you going to see Stephen? I’m meeting Christine, so if you want I’ll walk with you,” Bucky offered.

Anthony nodded. “Sure.”

“I really am sorry, Tony. For everything this weekend, and if something I said upset you after your wisdom tooth surgery,” Bucky said.

“It’s not your fault. I’ve been stressing about how to tell everyone about that relationship for too long and the way I felt when I woke up just reminded me of something I still don’t really want to talk about,” Anthony replied. “There’s a lot I’m holding back, even from you, but I’m just not ready to go into all of that yet.”

“I won’t be upset if you tell me,” Bucky tried to comfort him.

“It’s less about that and more the fact that I don’t want to even think about it. I don’t want to think about him,” Anthony said. “I don’t want to hear his voice, or see him, or even hear about him, if I’m being honest. And I feel bad, because I know you love him, but—”

“But you’re my friend, and I care about you. Plus you’re way too polite to be direct when something or someone upsets you and I think that does more harm than good. You just end up keeping everything to yourself, and you don’t have to,” Bucky interrupted. “You don’t have to be a closed book all the time.”

Anthony smiled at that. “Stephen’s said that to me before. I don’t know why, but I like that phrasing. I’m not one to open up in general, even though I trust everyone in our friend group, but this feels like it’s too much to get into the open right now. Someday I’ll be ready, but not today. It doesn’t help that this weekend was honestly too soon.”

“That’s fair man,” Bucky replied. “I don’t have to tell you that Stephen loves the shit out of you, and you deserve that.”

“I could go on and on about Steph probably endlessly,” Anthony said, hiding his face as he blushed.

“Everyone knows that, even people who have never met either of you know that!” Bucky teased. “But honestly, are you okay?”

Anthony shrugged. “Yes and no. I just need time.”

“I understand. And I am really, really sorry about this weekend,” Bucky replied. “Forgive me?”

Anthony shook his head. “Do I need to? It’s not your fault.”

“I know it’s not, but still… I’m sorry. I hope that means something, at least.”

tags: @stark-strange-love2 @taruyison @chocopiggy @majesticnerdynerd @spooky-n-spunky @merlynthedisasterchild @kitkatfat15 @maya-custodios-dionach @katninjagirl97

#tony stark #stephen strange #ironstrange #my ironstrange college au #protective stephen strange #james rhodey rhodes #wong #protective Bucky #james bucky barnes #christine palmer #implied christine/hope #implied valcarol #not steve rogers friendly #implied anti stony #implied anti stucky #ok off to dream about part 4

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felassan · 3 years

Text

Highlights and insights from the N7 Day cast & crew reunion panel

[Rewatch link]

In case a text format is better for anyone. There are some NSFW references. Cut for length.

(Some paraphrasing.)

“Some of us are inebriated”

“Patrick Weekes, the killer of man and beasts, the breaker of hearts”

JHale put the whole thing together, it’s the biggest ME cast reunion to date

The cast had no idea that the remaster was a thing

Lots of ace discussion about what the magic of the MET is (“it captured lightning in a bottle”)

Lots of warm fuzzies between the cast, crew and community, and lots of fun behind-the-scenes anecdotes

Lots of great discussion on the diversity and inclusion in ME: on gender, sexuality, representation, empowerment, the core message in the MET that “we’re all in this together or we’re screwed”, the progress made in the portrayal of female characters in gaming, etc. “Everything behind what went into these characters was authentic, we [the VAs] could tell that so much research, texture, authenticity etc had gone into them. It really made a difference”. JHale: “I’ve spent my career kicking down ceilings [barriers and so on women actors experience] with my steel-toed boot. To get to be a part of this game that has now created the expectation that there now be a female PC, ‘duh’, is once of the great things of my life. BioWare listened and put her on the box. The first time someone dropped the box in front of me I held it over my head and screamed over the crowd, ‘Casey Hudson, thank youuu!!’ It was a divine moment. This game was the moment the boot finally crashed through the glass, pushed by millions of women.”

The panel received many messages from the question submission from fans expressing that MET really helped them through very dark places and periods in their lives. The cast have had a lot of interactions with fans over the years where the fans expressed similar sentiments to them

ME was one of the first games Keythe Farley (Thane) acted for that had branching dialogue/dialogue choices, and when he saw the script with that when he went in, he was like “wow”. ME was the second big game D. C. Douglas (Legion) ever did. In his first audition he didn’t know it was for a robot-type character as it was disguised as something else with a military-feel. The second time it was to do a speech/lament at someone’s funeral and he knew it was for a robot. He said playing Legion for him was a case of “wake up, drink some coffee and go to work”

Jack was really special to her VA Courtenay Taylor because she relates to her so much and had a lot of similar emotional problems and personal troubles in her past. Jack helped her become who she has became. The host added that in his interactions with Courtenay over the years, he realized very quickly that she is very much like Jack

AWR has two moms, something which she hasn’t talked about/expressly said publicly before. Talking about recording lines between Sam and Femshep made her tear up. She said that being raised by two moms in the 80s was tough due to societal attitudes at the time, and so to see a loving relationship between two women depicted in a game was a big deal for her. When recording the white picket fence conversation, she was actually crying (“and then I’m crying because of the lesbians”). It was a huge moment for her to represent her moms’ journey. When she went home she told them all about how her character is gay and wants a white picket fence and everything “just like we had”.

When PW was working on Sam’s arc, one of the things they did was show it to one of their colleagues, who is a lesbian, asking what things she’d like to see in an arc like that and what things she felt were missing from it. The white picket fence conversation came from the colleague’s feedback (“we wanna see the nice, healthy, happy domestic stuff”, as it’s often missing in portrayals of wlw relationships)

As the VAs got more into their characters, they sometimes had feedback and input to the process to offer, like “I don’t think she’d say [this] like [that]”. Sometimes they knew their characters even better than the crew did sometimes. JHale waxed lyrical about Caroline Livingstone’s awesome direction, with the host adding that he has interviewed a lot of the VAs over the years and they all talk about Caroline like she’s Gandalf the White coming to the rescue in LotR. AWR expressed that Caroline is really funny (“don’t worry it’s not you, PW was sick when they wrote this line that’s why”) and emotionally in-tune with them and this makes long hard sessions with her a joy

When Mark went into record for the Citadel DLC one day he asked Caroline “wouldn’t be great if Shepard’s clone had been made to be the opposite gender? Then the two Shepards could fight each other!”

William Salyers (Mordin) likes the way Mordin’s story ended and felt that it was wonderful to be able to play that. He feels like the luckiest person because as he wasn’t the original VA of Mordin, he got to come in late to something that was amazing. “Caroline helped me get to where I needed to be emotionally to play that final scene. It was one of the most moving things I’ve ever gotten to do personally for a piece of interactive art”. PW related that with Mordin’s writing, they didn’t realize how much they were asking for. They thought William was amazing doing all the science-speak/technobabble, as they themselves didn’t know what it meant, and then suddenly having to deliver emotional heartbreaking lines. William’s always been a secret science nerd and so he loved that fact about Mordin. “It was a real treat to say your words”

Karin: “I always claim credit for the Scientist Salarian song even though I had nothing to do with it. I opened that door for PW”

Steve Blum (Grunt) found it a real treat playing Grunt as Grunt is a tough soldier on the outside but a [babey] on the inside, while he is more the other way around (softer on the outside, fight-y inside). He isn’t a gamer and so didn’t know what to expect or what he was getting into. There was the big pile of words, they showed him the picture of Grunt, and he just ran with it. “Grunt was kind of a perfect character for me in that respect”. Side note: his wry comments throughout the panel were hilarious

“Casey Hudson, our glorious loving overlord”

Courtenay jokes about “interspecies snorkeling”

The women Courtenay met working on this game are her friends for life. Ali Hillis (Liara) gave her her number the night of the ME3 drop and was like “let’s hang out!!” “JHale is the shit. I go to England and there’s AWR and I have this friend for life”.

“We’re a family”. The host comments that you don’t see this kind of closeness between the people on a lot of projects

Kimberley Brooks (Ashley) thinks things have and are changing for the better in terms of roles for women, and roles for brown and black women. This year she has noticed increasing awareness of inclusion and of where it’s lacking. “The copies I’m being sent for auditions, it’s drastically changing, I’m seeing it change before my eyes. It’s really exciting, there’s more and more roles for me.” “Ash is such a strong character and I felt very badass playing her, it was life-changing”. She’s excited that the remaster is going to be a new way to see these characters that they’ve been so lucky to voice. Kimberley/Ash was the first female character Karin saw in the studio, when she saw her she was like “Wow, she’s so kickass and inspiring”. At this point Karin hadn’t been working at BioWare for all that long, and she wanted to thank Kimberley, because she saw her and heard her voice and had a personal ‘this changes everything’ moment

Raphael Sbarge (Kaidan) finds it very moving how many women were encouraged into gaming due to ME

Raphael: “Everyone here has awesome varied careers, but because ME was so collaborative [and so on], [it was something really rare and special]. Nothing else I’ve done has been so important or impassioned, it has almost a religious experience to it, which you can see from tears in fans’ eyes and tattoos and people talking about it 10 years later”. “I’m so grateful for it.” “Clearly we’re going to do this again next year! :D” D. C. added that it’s going to follow him for the rest of his career. Courtenay says it has catapulted her career

PW talked about how it’s great that the female chars in ME were allowed to have real, realistic flaws and dark periods (as opposed to nonsense stuff like ‘her flaw is that she’s clumsy’)

Having the male and female PC be voiced was a big, expensive commitment for the studio. Karin commented that at the time, it was a risk that the pretty-much almost entirely-male leadership of BioWare at the time decided was important to take, and so she was happy that these were the values her colleagues had

PW was “the junior baby writer on ME1. I’d just gotten to the studio and Mac Walters fell down a flight of stairs and hurt his back, and they pulled me in while he was healing”. Karin: “Mac was very understanding when PW fell on the ice and hurt themselves during ME2.” PW: “My job in ME1 was to come up with conversations between followers to pass the time in the elevator loading times. I was throwing stuff at the wall to see what would stick”

Steve turning his volume down before he shouts classic Grunt quotes down the mic

Caroline: “Do you know how many tears were shed in the booth? How many times have we all cried in the booth...” JHale: “We were recording the end of ME3, which I never call the end, because I’m always like I’M HERE! [wink] The goodbye Garrus lines” - these lines got right under her skin and when she went to say her lines she couldn’t speak because she’d burst into tears. “It was all I could do to say those words... and then there was silence... [and Caroline had gotten choked up too].” This was one of the last sessions they did. PW: “John Dombrow wrote Garrus in ME3 and I’m gonna tell him that he got you both to break.”

Caroline was also really teary during Keith David’s (Anderson)’s performance where he tells Shepard she’s like his daughter. This moment was one of JHale’s favorites to act

BioWare came up with a proprietary VA recording system which JHale describes as a secret sauce as-yet not widely-used in the industry

Lots of fun in the line-reading portion at the end. The lines/scenes were sent in by fans. This starts around timestamp 1 hour 50 mins. There’s a break where they discuss more anecdotes after a bit then some line-reading resumes at 1 hour 59 mins 18 secs

"Salarian Vorcha Conrad Verner simmering sexual tension scene”

One of PW’s fondest memories is of ME3 when JHale and Mark got to play off each other (which they naturally didn’t get to do very much), when PW had shoved the entire script of the Blasto movie into random ambience throughout the Citadel. They knew Mark was going to be Blasto as he voiced most of the hanar. PW: “We had to have Blasto’s elcor partner’s hot sister... And I was like could it be JHale?? Because they hardly ever get to talk to each other. It was one of my proudest moments”. Mark: “Not only that, we had a romance.” JHale: “Yeah, it was hot”.

“Think of the poor cold freezing Edmontonian hanar”

PW’s story about Sam’s toothbrush: They wrote it as a throwaway line but AWR did it so well that PW wanted to bring it back in the Citadel DLC, as that DLC was the action-comedy one. So they decided the toothbrush was going to save the Normandy. The art director at the time was in an early playthrough of the scene and in that version of the scene Sam held up her empty hand. The director was like “We gotta make the toothbrush? Really? It’s gonna be thousands of dollars to render the toothbrush.” It then got to the next few lines and the director deadpanned at PW “Okay that’s pretty good, we’ll make the toothbrush.” PW: “Good, I got my toothbrush.”

It was John’s idea that we find out that Mordin had been working on a crime noir novel. There was a period in the development of the Citadel DLC where PW was feeling like “Mordin’s gone, he had his big moment, I want to respect and honor that” and the entire team were like “I think Mordin needs a couple more songs dude”. “Well alright!” By that point William had shown them he could deliver literally any line

“Oh I need a shower that was so steamy hot”

PW got in trouble with Localization over Jack’s “Save some of your energy, we’re gonna do it on the pool table” exchange. Localization were like “Um could you explain what Jack means by this??” These lines were PW’s, Karin as an editor got the question about it and passed it on to PW like “nope this is your fault”. “The best part is it was France that needed PW to explain the joke while apparently Germany were like ‘Yes please confirm that this is regarding the possibility of oral sex-’”

Keythe on voicing Thane: “Thane was a real lesson in opening up to the character, allowing this beautifully conflicted character to exist. Each character in the MET has conflicts within themselves and a tragic flaw that is revealed through the course of conflict.” He also waxed lyrical about how the MET was akin to Star Wars and Citizen Kane, and about the interconnectedness and representation in it

D. C.: “I have a question for you guys. Was it a conscious decision to not have Legion as a romance? Because there are a lot of upset people out there!!” “Voltage problems.” “A lot of creative reuses of ‘There was a hole.’” PW: “It was a process of us figuring out what we wanted to do. If we had known... The number of people who were like ‘I don’t know, are people gonna wanna romance Garrus? Liara? She’s blue and has no hair. Are people gonna be okay with that?” Karin: “We were young and naïve, now we know BioWare fans are thirsty.”

Derek brought in the first picture of Thane to show Caroline and she was like “He’s really hot, that’s gonna be a killer character. People are gonna want to romance that gentleman”

Raphael asked the BioWare team if there’s ever been a point where they thought about doing more DLC content or some kind of revival. “Has that ever come up?” “We’re legally obligated not to say, sorry, we’re going through a tunnel right now, bad reception!!”

D. C.: “Does this country have a soul?” “It does.”

“An N7 Day to remember! Go forth and heal.”

#bioware #mass effect #video games #lgbtq #feels #lul #garrus vakarian #best boy #please remember if you are a minor you should not be following me #a minor = under 18 #next mass effect

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rwdestuffs · 3 years

Text

Volume 8 is a poor man’s Infinity War.

Think about it. The main teams in both situations (RWBYJNORQ and the Avengers/GotG) are in separate squads trying to do their own thing.

Here’s our main issues:

In Infinity War, the main teams are split up because they can’t get to one another. They didn’t have a choice in splitting up, and thus, there wasn’t an opportunity in the first place to have interactions between characters like Tony and Steve. While yes, Thor goes off on his own on his own will, it is out of necessity.

And on top of which, each squad is doing something proactive.

Team Cap is trying to get the stone out of Vision so that they can get rid of it and stop Thanos. Team Iron Man is confronting Thanos directly. Team Guardians is also trying to attack Thanos and get back Gamora before the Soul Stone location is revealed. Thor, Rocket, and Groot are trying to get a weapon that can kill Thanos. They are all effectively doing something.

And Thanos’ squad are all split up trying to retrieve the stones. And they are also proactive in trying to do so.

And in the end, it is through Thanos’ direct actions that he is able to succeed.

Now, let’s compare this to Volume 8.

In Volume 8, the only one separated from the group that wasn’t by choice was Qrow, and later Oscar. Oscar gets to come back in the last quarter of the volume, so it’s very not like Thor’s reappearance in Infinity War.

Both squads are separated by choice. They actively chose to split up. This means that character interactions that were sorely needed can’t happen. There’s no Blake interacting with Yang, there’s no Nora and Ren interactions. And the few interactions that each team does have is hollow at best because it kinda comes out of nowhere. Take Ren’s resentment at the situation that they’re in for example. It’s brought up, and then dropped. There was hardly any buildup to it, and it doesn’t even go anywhere. Or take Nora’s sudden “I need some time” thing near the end. She was the one who initiated the kiss, if anything, it should be Ren who says that he needs the time to process his feelings. Especially since his semblance is literally suppressing his emotions! It would make more sense if he needed the time to process given all that he’s been through, and what his literal soul-based superpower does. Ren needs the time to process his feelings. Not Nora.

Or heck! Take Blake’s encouragement of Ruby as another. They deliberately nerfed her character to justify her belief in Ruby’s ability as a leader and a fighter. But the for a majority of the time, RWBN is in a mansion… Not even talking about what to do or about their own relationships, they’re drinking tea. At this point in time, Team Cap has gotten a plan set in place on how to get the stone out of Vision’s head and what they need to do to make sure that it works. Team Iron Man is already en-route to take the fight to Thanos, the Guardians are off to Knowhere to keep the reality stone out of Thanos’ clutches.

This is why people kinda touted JORY’s part as being better. By virtue of actually doing something, they kinda got the better arc by default. Sure, the interactions were really bland, and the discussions of what they have going on with members of the other squad are bare-bones, the fact that they actually do something is a virtue in of itself.

Salem, on the other hand, has her hands on another of the relics, but can’t access it. Emerald and Hazel are having second thoughts about the side that they are on, and Cinder is… Just being herself.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I do like the Emerald defecting thing. I really do. But I kinda wish we spent more time on it, and that we got to see what she did to be trusted with her weapons when they got to the mansion.

Qrow, at this point, is trying to come to terms with his involvement in Clover’s death, and like… It was Clover’s own fault. He followed a clearly unlawful order, didn’t take a prison transport, and prioritized the “suddenly declared traitor” Qrow over the literal agent of Salem who was right there, and gave the three character a hard time, and only two of them are now conscious.

So, Robyn’s whole thing about him being the better person kinda feels like it comes out of nowhere, mainly because we never really got that interaction between Robyn and Clover to really have her make that conclusion.

Both stories also have a “Save the android who has the ability we want to keep out of the bad guy’s hands” thing going for them. But there’s a stark difference between the two deaths.

With Vision, his death comes at the hands of Wanda, his love interest. The person whom they both confide in each other with, and the person who he trusts with his life. So when Wanda kills him to keep the stone out of Thanos’ hands, it’s tragic. And when Thanos uses the Time Stone to undo all of that, and make her efforts all for naught, it’s even more tragic. Wanda had to see her soon-to=be-husband die twice.

But with Penny, her death comes at the hands of… Jaune. A character that she barely had any interaction with. Instead of it being Nora, the person who reassured her that the virus that was hurting her was only a “part” of her and that it didn’t define her, it was Jaune. Instead of it being Winter, the person whom she was effectively partnered with since Ciel was forgotten, it was Jaune. Instead of it being Emerald, the person who killed her the first time, it’s fucking Jaune. A character whose most significant interaction with her was boosting her aura so that she could fight off the virus.

Now, both endings are kinda similar too.

Except where Infinity War’s ending was done and it was blatantly clear that it was because everyone was separated and that it was because Thanos had basically already won, and the fact that it was also because the war against Thanos wasn’t over yet, this ending makes it clear that the war for Atlas was lost. And while the show does also show us that the war for Remnant is far from over, the way they did it makes it feel as if they wanted to emulate Infinity War, but had no real idea as to what made it work in the first place. It’s a lot like a lot of the other things they tried to emulate. Like the “Introduce your character by having them stop a robbery” thing. They know it works, but they don’t know why or how it works.

This overall helplessness and the idea that the bad guys win sometimes was done better in Infinity War because they knew what they were doing. And yes. I do acknowledge that it’s unfair to compare a multi-million dollar movie that was ten years in the making to a single volume that was likely thrown together with the hotpot of notes that were left behind, and that Infinity War also had more than a bunch of underpaid animators working on it, but still! It feels like they had this whole thing worked out in Volume 7. Penny had the maiden powers, Winter was in conflict with what Ironwood was doing, Qrow was feeling guilt at not being able to save Clover, the main teams had to look for Oscar again, there was a set up for team work that needed to be done, it felt like a lot of things were thrown in for the sake of the plot, only for it to not be capitalized on in later moments.

Ruby’s squad wanted to save everyone, and didn’t have a plan until Oz decided to show up again and tell them what the relic could do. At least Jaune’s squad had a plan. And given how his last few plans worked out, it’s a miracle that it actually worked.

The separate hero squads in Infinity War all also had plans of their own. Yeah, they all failed, but at least they actually had a plan. With this, only one team had a plan, and it got derailed because Oscar got kidnapped by a grimm that can only break aura in a single hit after a few in-universe minutes of being petted by Salem.

This volume tried to be Infinity War, but ended up being Dawn of Justice… And we already had that volume in the form of Volume 4. This show needs to stop trying to juggle too many things at once and start focusing on one big thing, and also needs to close up the things that they haven’t really closed up.

#rwde #writers crit

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nellie-elizabeth · 3 years

Text

The Falcon and the Winter Soldier: One World, One People (1x06)

Oof, okay, so I obviously enjoyed watching this, but I do have some things I would like to discuss.

Cons:

The biggest one is honestly about Isaiah. I understand that this is a superhero show, and there's some cheesiness baked into the very concept of it. I like the idea of a triumphant ending for our heroes, where amends are made and everyone is brought some measure of peace. BUT, I feel like a more nuanced, more true to reality ending here with Isaiah might have been different. Maybe he gives a tip of the hat to Sam, says he's happy he's found his peace, but he still doesn't agree with his choices. See, the thing is, some people who have been hurt by systems want that system to acknowledge its mistake, to apologize, to make amends. That's what Sam is pushing for. He believes we can do better, and all that. And that's a wonderful perspective. But other people who have been hurt by systems might not want anything to do with that system ever again. At the end, when Sam sets up the part of the museum for Isaiah, he says "now everyone will know what you did for this country," and Isaiah seemed pleased and touched by this. But I couldn't help but think... he was forced into doing those things, and then punished for doing them. If he'd decided he didn't want acknowledgment, didn't want to be linked to the idea of American heroism... I couldn't blame him for that. It might have added more nuance to the ending. Sam could have even said that it's okay if he and Isaiah don't agree on the best way forward, they still have mutual respect, or whatever.

As a white lady, maybe I'm off base. I'm just really curious at what the reaction is going to be. All through watching this show I kept saying to myself that an ending where Sam takes up the shield and becomes Captain America can't stand on its own. There's got to be nuance. There's got to be some good justification for it. And as I'll talk about in a moment, I think they've done an okay job... but I also wouldn't be surprised to find some people enormously dissatisfied with this conclusion. Steve Rogers handed the shield to Sam, yes. But should we forget what he did before handing it over? Well, he walked away from the government and was on the run because he didn't respect their choices. Just some food for thought.

I also just want to say: ????? to that ending for John Walker? It was so bizarre to see the light banter moment between him and Bucky after Walker had quoted Lincoln. Like... that felt so out of place. And now he's being made into an American agent? I don't understand that random lady's role in events. I don't know if I'm supposed to think it's sinister and creepy as fuck that John still has a uniform, and even the suggestion of authority (I do think it's creepy as fuck, for the record), or if I'm supposed to be... pleased that he got a new job? Just, tonally, the stuff with Walker in this finale was all over the place. He didn't seem to really matter, and yet he was still there, and the episode didn't seem able to reckon with his presence.

Oh, also, I can totally respect a bit of ham-fisted politic in a show like this. It's really the only way to do it. But Karli saying that Lamar didn't matter, and John saying "you think Lemar's life didn't matter?" was, perhaps, a little on the nose. I'm not sure I like the BLM mouthpiece being blond haired blue eyed John Walker, especially when Lemar's death, at least as a narrative function, only happened to allow John to get sad and angry about it. Where's his wing in the museum, huh?

Also Sharon Carter, she's my girl or whatever, but I gotta admit she was kind of boring to me in this whole series. I wanted more from her. The reveal that she was the Power Broker had me shrugging. I wanted to be more shocked, but she was so clearly telegraphed as being fishy from minute one. The fact is, we haven't had enough time with this character to figure out who she actually is as a person, yet. I don't understand her, and that's a shame.

Pros:

That was a long "cons" section, especially for an episode that kept me riveted the whole way through!

First off, the action was exciting and different and had so many classic "superhero moments" while not totally abandoning a more grounded feel. Sam holding the car up was such a Moment. Also the "that's Black Falcon!" "No, that's Captain America" moment was so cheesy but exactly the right kind of cheesy, you know? We got to see everyone being a bad-ass, crowds applauding, Sam's fantastic entrance with the new suit, the wings, the shield... damn. It was all cool in the way the best Marvel products need to be.

So, Sam taking the shield. I think it works because of his speech to the politicians. Specifically calling out the power they have, and the people they have in the room with them when they make the decisions that will affect so many people. There's this wonderful moment when one of the politicians asks a legitimate question: what about people who came back after the snap to find someone else living in their house? It's so complicated. And as the show ends, we're not given a simple answer. Sam merely points out the miracle of having everyone fighting the same fight for once. These rich and powerful people have had no idea how impossible it can be, and now they're getting a taste of that. There might just be the power of equalizing in all of this.

And most important to me? The government didn't hand Sam the shield. Sam took it and took ownership of it on his own terms. Think back to the legacy of Steve and the shield, honestly. Yes, he was given it by the government, but then he stole it when he ran away, then he gave it up, then Tony gave it back to him... it's a lot more complicated than it might first appear. Nobody's going to argue that the shield was Steve's to give, and he gave it to Sam, and Sam took it for his own. That made it work for me, as a direct contrast to the way in which John Walker got his hands on it.

Karli's death was inevitable and tragic. While I never cared all that much for her character as an individual, she worked quite well as a symbol. Sam points this out in his speech as well. Hasn't anyone stopped to wonder why people believed in this cause so much they were willing to die for it? That matters. It means something. And more will follow. I appreciate that the show ends on an ambiguous note. The people in power are still the people in power. And yes, their decision has been postponed. They've decided not to relocate people and replace the borders immediately. But what is the long-term solution? How does the world begin to heal? Well, we don't know. We don't get to see that.

If anyone got short shrift in this finale it was Bucky, but I'm honestly okay with that for a couple of reasons. One, this is Sam's show and I'm happy that it stayed that way. And two, we saw Bucky's emotional arc come to a head in last week's episode. The work isn't done, but he knows what the work is that he has to do, and we see him start to do that. He gives the journal up to his therapist. A way of letting go of his guilt, but also of saying goodbye to Steve in a way that can give him some actual closure. He confesses to his friend Yuri what really happened to his son.

And more than all of that, he shows up to hang out with Sam and his family. He brings cake. He goofs off with the kids. He hugs his friend, his partner, Sam Wilson. I can see Bucky coming to peace with some things. Coming into his own. It breaks my heart that we don't get to see more of that play out on screen. The show had to make a choice about whose story to prioritize, and in my opinion it made the right choice. This was a show about Sam's journey and Sam's decision here at the end was the capstone of that.

That scene at the end, though... the kids hanging off of Bucky's metal arm was such a poignant image for me, because this man is a killing machine, was designed to be so, but has remade himself into something else, and this moment really showcased that. Also, that gay-ass ending of Sam and Bucky looking out over the water together and then strolling away, Sam's arm around Bucky? Thank you for my life, Disney, I guess. And we got Bucky calling Sam "Cap," and his obvious admiration and pride in him for his speech... I just love them, y'all. I really do.

I wouldn't say anything about this show broke the mold or made me really excited about Marvel again. I enjoyed it, because I already liked Sam and Bucky, and I got to spend more time with them. I was nervous about how they were going to navigate certain political stickiness, and honestly I think they did... an okayish job. I could have wished for them to go even further, but they didn't take the easy way out, in my opinion.

I hope they make more of this someday. Regardless, I'm not ready to say goodbye to Sam Wilson or Bucky Barnes, so I hope we get to see Captain America and the White Wolf grace our screens again in some project or other!

8.5/10

#review #fatws #fatws review #the falcon and the winter soldier #the falcon and the winter soldier review #falcon and the winter soldier #falcon and the winter soldier review

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wickedsingularity · 4 years

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Avalanche [one-shot]

Fandom: MCU Pairings/characters: Bucky Barnes x reader (but not really), Steve Rogers, Natasha Romanoff, mention of Wanda Maximoff Words: 3757 Warnings: Lime, repressed emotions, accidental exhibitionism

Note: Something @iguess-theyre-mymess gave me an idea for when I was doing NaNoWriMo last year, but that whole thing went to hell. There something not right here, with the characterizations. We've discussed it, but then I forgot all about it, and now I'm just... fuck it. There's some smut here, people will ignore characterization as long as there's smut. Sue me.

Summary: She wasn't supposed to be on this mission with Bucky, but plans had changed, then plans had gone wrong and now they had missed their flight window. Sexual tension rise to the surface while they wait in the safe house, and when an avalanche makes them stuck, repressed feelings rise up too.

It wasn't clear what was louder, the roaring wind outside or the heaving breaths of the two bodies that had just pulled apart with a groan and laid next to each other. Neither of the two noticed the wind however, completely lost in the bliss as they were.

"That was..." she started. It had been good. Very, very good. But not a chance in hell she was going to say those words. She did not want to give him the satisfaction, not after the way he behaved during this mission.

"Yeah." Bucky concurred.

They lay in awkward silence for a couple of minutes to catch their breaths, until she rolled to her side, her back to him. "Well, goodnight."

Bucky made a sound of annoyance, and swiftly turned his back to her too and pounded his fist into his pillow unnecessarily hard to fluff it up. Despite the vibe of annoyance that hung in the sex-smelling air, both fell asleep within minutes.

After finishing a mission deep in Lapland, the two of them had been forced to take refuge in a safe house to rest up. Steve was supposed to have gone with Bucky, but something had come up and she had had to replace the captain. To say she was unhappy about it was an understatement, especially because she was supposed to have gone on a simple recon mission to the much warmer and prettier Puerto Rico, but that mission had gone to Wanda instead. So now she had spent two days in the coldest, snowiest place on Earth with a Bucky Barnes that had been more pig-headed than usual.

The moment they had closed the door to the cabin behind them, they had been at each other's throats. He had insisted that the plan wouldn't work and they should take a different approach and she had claimed that his suggestion would take too long and be too big of a risk. He had made the final decision without her and while it turned out that it had been the only way to make the mission a success, it had taken a lot longer and been a hell of a lot riskier, almost too risky. Which is why they had had to wander for far too long in the cold snow to find this safe house because they had missed their flight window, and now had to spend the night there to rest up before heading back out to do the cleanup and fly back. The screaming in each other's face what the other did wrong only served to have the sexual tension that had been building between them for months snap and break.

Clothes were scattered all around leading to the bed, a lamp and side table had been knocked over, a painting had fallen off the wall, and there was a dent in the headboard from Bucky's metal arm.

Silence filled the house as they slept, their shouting and moans and groans replaced with deep, calm breathing. Outside, the wind was gathering strength, snowflakes frantically dancing in the porchlight. When they fell asleep, the snow was halfway up under the windows, and by dawn it had reached the window sill, the wind packing it tight against the house.

It was still fairly early in the morning when rumbling sounded in the distance. An ominous rumble that quickly grew louder and louder. Bucky was the first to wake from it. He was only disoriented for two seconds before he cursed and leapt off the bed and over to the window. This woke her up and she too scrambled towards the window as the rumbling was almost deafening. Her first thought upon seeing all the snow was that she would crawl her way out of the cabin even if she froze her hands off rather than stay here with that pig-headed super-soldier. But then the roof creaked and the rumbling was right upon them, both looking up and almost shielding themselves as if the roof was about to cave in. And then everything was dark as the moonlight disappeared and the power went, taking with it the light in the bathroom. There was complete silence.

"Well shit," Bucky said, quite fittingly.

She looked over at him and not having had much light to desensitize her eyes, she saw that he was very much naked still, as was she. She was over by the bed in one leap and grabbed the sheets to wrap around herself, leaving Bucky with only a pillow to hide his front.

"I am going to go in there," she nodded her head towards the bathroom, "and by the time I'm out, you better be decent and have found something to light up this place so we can see what we're doing when we try to get someone to help us out of here."

Bucky didn't dare to do anything but nod at her sharp voice and watch as she clumsily fished her phone out of a pocket on the suit on the floor and turned on its flashlight while holding onto the sheets at the same time. When she slammed the bathroom door shut and locked it, he tossed the pillow onto the bed and went to hunt down his own clothes and then see if there were any candles or flashlights lying around.

A little while later, she appeared in the kitchen fully dressed with the top of her Kevlar suit hanging around her hips, black thermal undershirt untucked. Bucky was about to pour freshly brewed coffee into two mugs while wearing his headlamp, but the room was bathed in light and the items they had knocked over in their hurry to get naked the previous night had been put back into place.

"I found the backup generator," he explained, pushing one of the coffee mugs towards her on the counter and then turned off the headlamp and pulled it off. "Good morning."

It was properly morning now too, a sliver of sunlight snuck through the half an inch of the kitchen window that was not covered by snow.

"Good morning, Barnes." She grabbed the offered mug and sniffed it before taking a sip.

"I also found some jerky in the pantry." He pointed to an open bag on the counter. "Nothing fresh, but it's something."

"It will have to do." She reached into the bag and grabbed a few strips. "Have you tried to call Hill?"

"I have," Bucky said. "But the signal is too low to get a call through. I have tried throughout the entire cabin except in the bathroom."

"Satphone?" she asked above the rim of the steaming mug.

"Battery is dead. I was going to fix the charger after I had made coffee."

"The charger isn't working? And why is the battery dead? I thought you charged it yesterday."

"I did charge it yesterday. But there is something wrong with the charger, and it didn't reach a hundred percent and has drained quickly in the cold."

"Okay, you fix that, and I'll try to get through on my phone."

Bucky gave her a look that told her he wasn't surprised that she had to double-check the phone reception before he grabbed his coffee and a handful of jerky and sat down on the couch by the small coffee table. She watched him rummage through the bag next to him, pulling out the satphone's charger and started to wiggle the cord where it was connected to the adapter.

She shook her head in exasperation as she reached for the phone in her back pocket, but stopped, one hand resting on the coffee mug on the counter, the other holding her phone, not able to look away from the super-soldier working. Despite how much she disagreed with his plan the other day and the words she had shouted at him the previous night, despite her need to double-check his findings this morning, even though he infuriated her, she did respect him. For what he'd gone through and how he'd moved on from it. For how he took advantage of what he had been through and used it today. For how smart and quick and capable he was and how he clearly knew how to fix a satphone charger. Still, he was too handsome for his own good and so goddamn good in bed she could still feel him between her legs, and she did not like that.

Glaring at the back of his head, she unlocked her phone. There was indeed no reception, so she grabbed one piece of jerky to chew on while she walked around trying to fill some bars in the top corner icon.

It didn't take her long to have reached every corner of the cabin without having found any signal. She had even tried opening the front door. Thankfully, or maybe not, the snow was packed so hard it didn't fall in on her, but it did nothing to help her phone connect to a cell tower.

"I think the snowstorm might have taken out the nearest towers," she said and slammed the door shut.

"Doesn't matter, because I've got the satphone charging," Bucky said distractedly. "It's searching for a satellite right now."

"Oh good." She walked over and looked down over the back of the couch to the phone in his hands. "We need someone to dig us out, or heaven knows how long we'll be stuck in here."

"Aaaand there's our GPS position, and I'm sending it to F.R.I.D.A.Y. and..." He was typing something real fast, and again she was impressed with his way around modern technology with the speed he was typing. "And she's sending someone to get us out right now. I said it was urgent."

"Good."

"Now we wait."

An awkward silence filled the cabin. The prospect of waiting for possibly hours, had the tension growing. It wasn't exactly a vacation cabin, there was no TV, no books, no games, nothing to pass the time. And since there was no cell reception, there was no streaming or even reading the news either.

She went back to the counter to finish off her coffee, thankful for that keeping her busy for a while, it was still hot enough she could only sip at it. Then she decided to head back into the bedroom to disassemble and reassemble her weapons. But before she got halfway across the floor, Bucky apparently couldn't take the silence anymore.

"About last night," he started.

She stopped short and pulled a face. "Please don't, Barnes."

"Please don't what?"

"Just... Don't."

He stood up and faced her, but she didn't look at him. "Want me to pretend it didn't happen?"

She crossed her arms across her chest defensively and opened her mouth to speak, but couldn't make herself say yes.

"Despite what my behaviour last night says about me, I don't just sleep around for the fun of it. I don't just... Not without... It's been just..." Bucky seemed to be struggling to find the words now. She glanced over at him and saw that he was blushing furiously before sitting down again.

"I don't think that," she found herself reassuring him.

"Good. Because I don't."

Silence filled the cabin again, and she was suddenly hearing the words Bucky hadn't said. She uncrossed her arms and rested her hands on her weapons belt. "I don't either."

Bucky turned around and met her eyes. They stared at each other for what felt like ages, almost daring the other to actually say out loud the words they both realised was true.

"Doll..." Bucky stood up and she took a step backwards, shaking her head slightly. Hurt flashed across his face. "Are you afraid of me? Did I do something wrong? Is that why you're always so angry when I'm around?" She shook her head again and Bucky took a step towards her. She didn't back up this time.

"I'm... I don't know." She screwed her eyes shut, crossing her arms again. From the moment Steve introduced him to the team she had been attracted to him, he had that tall, dark, handsome going for him. But there had been something in his eyes that drew her in more than anything. A flash of softness or kindness or... something, every now and then. Such a contrast to the strength and fearlessness and deadliness he showed when he sparred with Steve or was on a mission. He'd been through so much, but instead of letting it destroy him, he used everything that had made him a deadly assassin and turned it into this force of good.

"Doll... I didn't know?"

She snapped her eyes open, confusion written all over her face. The softness was back in his eyes and she cocked her head, looking at him. "What?"

"I didn't know you felt that way about me."

"I said that out loud?"

"You did... But why..." He took another step closer.

Embarrassment burned her skin, but there was no taking it back. Might as well dive into it. "Why have I behaved like I feel the opposite?"

Bucky nodded.

"Good question." She paused for a moment, chewed the inside of her lip, looking him straight in the eye. "I wasn't planning on falling for anyone. Didn't want to. At least not someone I work so closely with. It's a recipe for disaster in our line of work. And I knew from the start that I would fall for you, you ticked every box. So, I tried hard not to." She sighed. "I failed."

"You've fallen for me?"

She shrugged, but nodded and bit her lip again. "I failed at not falling for you and in my attempt to stay professional and keep my distance, I made you think I hated you."

"I never thought you hated me," Bucky said hurriedly, shaking his head. "Disliked, yes. Hated, no. But I haven't exactly been on my best behaviour either."

"What do you mean?"

"I have a lot of luggage. Most people don't exactly see past my... well, past. But Steve did without question. And then Sam followed. And then everyone else. But it seemed like you didn't. So I closed myself down with you. I think maybe I was a little scared of the same things as you." Bucky took a step closer and if he reached out, he could touch her now. "I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry too."

For a moment, they stared at each other, the air between them thick with emotion. And then, at the same time, they closed the distance. Arms went around the other, lips crashed, bodies pressed against each other. It was just as explosive as the night before, if not more. There was nothing in them holding back anymore. Last night had been almost business-like, just a reaction to different opinions and days and days of hard work and ages of repressed emotions reaching the end of the tether.

She ran her hands through Bucky's hair, revelling in the moan he made as her nails scraped lightly at his scalp. He needed to wash his hair, but she didn't care. She was no better, and he obviously didn't mind days of mission sticking to her skin as he kissed a trail down her chin to her neck. She threw her head back, giving him access and he tasted every inch of skin not covered by her thermal shirt. He kept tugging it down.

"Don't tear it," she said breathlessly, tugging lightly at his hair to warn him.

"Then get it off," he murmured against her skin.

Very reluctantly, she disentangled herself from him, already missing the warmth he radiated and the feel of him against her. Not helped by the whine he made from the loss of her in his arms and his almost stumble after her. She reached down and swiftly pulled the shirt off her head, dropping it to the floor. She took a few steps backwards, towards the bedroom, and nodded towards him. Bucky caught her meaning and tore off his own shirt.

Slowly moving towards and into the bedroom, clothes were shed, leaving a trail, but no furniture was destroyed this time. She had only her sensible black mission bra and underwear left when Bucky slowed down and stared as if hypnotized as she unclasped the bra behind her, let the straps fall from her shoulders, her arms keeping it in place. Then, it fell to the ground. Sure, he had seen her naked the previous night, but Bucky hadn't allowed himself to look then. He did now, etching every curve and line and scar and freckle into memory as he walked slowly towards her.

She tried to not feel self-conscious and managed for a few seconds, but then she felt heat bloom inside her and she looked down at her feet, arms folding across her chest. The way he was behaving and the way he was looking at her was so different from what she was used to, it was making all kinds of feelings bubble up inside her. Bucky shook his head and closed the distance.

She looked up at him.

"Do you have any idea how beautiful you are?" he said and weaved his fingers through her hair and ghosted his lips to hers before pulling back just enough to whisper against her lips. "I could stare at you forever, doll." Her arms immediately went up around his shoulders and she pressed her lips to his. He closed the space between them, let her feel how much he enjoyed the view of her. She moaned against him, pressing her hips against his and pulled him back towards the bed, teeth clashing, until she bumped her legs against the edge of it and lost her balance. Bucky tried to steady her with his arms around her waist, but she toppled backwards pulling him with her. He managed to brace himself so he didn't knock the wind out of her, and rolled to the side, chuckling.

"Sorry," she said.

But he just shook his head and went for her lips again. He just couldn't keep off her, now that he knew what kissing her properly was like, knew that she felt for him the same way he felt for her. Knew that both their hostility had been just a protective wall they had put up.

In a tangle of arms and legs, they scrambled up the bed. Bucky hovered above her, kissing down her neck, until she spread her legs, laid them around his waist and pulled him down. She gasped at just how hard he was already and how warm everything suddenly became, and began grinding against him. Bucky faltered a little, closing his eyes. Even if it had been less than twenty-four hours since they'd had sex, it didn't feel the same at all. He was sure he was going to come in seconds if she didn't stop already, and no matter how good that would feel right now, he did not want that embarrassment hanging over his head.

"You gotta stop doing that, sweetheart," he whispered against her shoulder. She halted immediately, pulling away slightly, but before she could even ask, he raised his head to look down at her. "You're going to make me come."

Heat flashed across her face, but she pushed her hips up, moving slowly against him. "Get my less than sexy practical underwear off then, so we can do it right."

Bucky's eyes flashed with hunger as he nearly ripped it off and made quick work of his own. "I'll do you right."

Steve and Natasha sat warm and snug in the Quinjet, surveying the very white landscape. A few pine trees were the only colour breaking up the blinding white. That and the suit they had borrowed from Tony to melt the snow around the cabin their friends were stuck in.

"I'm so glad we don't have to dig them out," Natasha commented.

"Yeah," Steve agreed. "It has been a real big avalanche."

"We would have been shovelling for days..."

The repulsors were doing a quick job of it, melting everything to water and then steam. They didn't want to flood the cabin. It almost looked like the cabin was on fire.

But a few minutes later, the suit lowered its arms and turned around to face the Quinjet, awaiting orders.

Steve pressed his earpiece. "You can come back in, thank you."

"I'll never get over how you speak to them like they're sentient." Natasha grinned at him, before hitting the button to open the hatch and let the suit in.

"They're just a brain cell away, and they do behave eerily lifelike." He stood up and pulled on a pair of gloves and donned the shield.

"What do you need that for?"

"I'm surprised they're not out already. They must have noticed the snow melting away. So... Just in case."

She considered him and then activated her Bites.

They jumped out of the Quinjet and approached the cabin a bit cautiously and then stopped by the front door. Steve cocked his head to try to listen.

"It's quiet inside."

"I'd expect them to be at each other's throats by now, having been cooped up together for so long." Natasha got the door unlocked and glanced at Steve. He grabbed the shield and held it in front of him, then nodded. Natasha wrenched the door open and Steve jumped in front and took one large step over the threshold, taking in the room.

Nothing. No one.

He stepped further in, Natasha following. "Where the hell are they?"

They both surveyed the room, taking in every detail. A strange noise came from behind the only other door in the cabin and Natasha nodded towards it. Again, Steve held the shield up and Natasha wrenched the door open. Steve then jumped into the opening, stood frozen for one single second, shouted "MY EYES" and scrambled away with his eyes screwed shut.

"What the hell?" someone said from inside.

Natasha poked her head past the door and looked inside, and what she saw made a huge grin spread across her lips.

On the bed, were two obviously naked people who had just scrambled apart, Bucky frantically trying to pull a blanket up to cover them. Skin glistening, bushy hair, puffy lips, there was no doubt to what Natasha and Steve had just interrupted.

"Guess it wasn't such a hurry after all," Natasha said, trying hard not to laugh. "Get dressed." And she closed the door, laughing.

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes smut #sebastian stan imagine #sebastian stan smut #bucky barnes #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes angst #bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes x oc #bucky barnes x you #sebastian stan #sebastian stan fanfiction #sebastian stan angst #sebastian stan fluff #sebastian stan x reader #sebastian stan x oc #sebastian stan x you

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singtotheskiies · 4 years

Text

an intervention was needed // thor x platonic!reader

request: Hey hey! I hope you're well & safe ☺️ can i request a fluffy but more platonic thor x reader, it's kinda specific: the reader is an asgardian and she's bff with Thor, basically like a sister. So he finally comes back to fight in Endgame after being depressed and shutting her out, and they reunite and there's a lot of feels and he just feels like a disappointment and a mess but she's like.. aw my sweet asgardian boi :( ill take care of u now, and oof i got carried away 😅 ty in advance hun!!

summary: after the fall of asgard, thor shut you out from his life completely. five years later, when that life is in danger, you take it upon yourself to fix things—if you are able.

words: 1497

warnings: infinity war/endgame spoilers, angst (sO much angst dude i never write it but this time,,,, i did), fluff at the end tho;)

a/n: i am SO sorry for the delay in writing this imagine—school has been very tough recently because teachers still feel the need to assign hours of work every day. however, this was a wonderful request, and i am absolutely loving writing, so please keep sending ‘em in!!! i love you all💕

✖✖✖

There were plenty of upsides to being Asgardian—increased reflexes and fighting skills, the ability to down enough liquor to make mortals stare, and of course your special power—the ability to heal physical wounds. Due to your fighting and healing abilities, the Avengers had taken you on as a valuable asset to their pursuit of justice. You had been on Midgard for a few years, now, and while it gave you great joy to be able to help, it was also the root of many of your problems.

You hadn’t been there when Asgard was ravaged by Thanos. Instead, you had been with the rest of the Avengers, discussing a possible threat in Seattle. You had felt the devastating pull in your gut that alerted you of something wrong in your home world. Instantly, you bolted to your feet, screaming for Heimdall to transport you so you could help in any way you can. You shouted your throat ragged, but you learned three unbearable days later that there was no more Bifrost tower and no Heimdall to defend it.

To make matters worse, you suffered not only the loss of your homeland, but also the presence of your best friend Thor. He had entered your room after those three days a broken shell of a man. You had tried to get through to him, to connect and mourn over your losses, but he had been nothing but cold to you.

“You cannot understand my grief,” he told you in a cold, distant voice you could barely recognize as his own.

“We are both Asgardians, Thor!” you cried. “We mourn for the same land—the land of our fathers and mothers before us.”

“And where were you when that land needed your help?” he snarled, turning and glaring at you.

“I screamed Heimdall’s name for an hour,” you spat indignantly, tears beginning to burn their way down your cheeks. “No one was there, it wasn’t my fault!”

“I had to watch my own brother die,” Thor choked, unable to control the tears welling up in his own eyes. “Thanos murdered him like he was merely an insect—but he was my brother. Do you have any idea—“

“Loki was also an acquaintance of mine, and I view his loss with no small sorrow. I cannot imagine the pain you must feel, my friend.”

“Friend,” Thor spat. “I hardly think so.”

“Please, Thor, rid yourself of this anger—I do not recognize you.”

“Perhaps it is for the better.”

With that, he spun Mjolnir and flew to gods-knew-where. You were so numb that it took you hours to notify Tony of the gaping hole through the building.

✖✖✖

You stood stock-still, emotions swirling from shock to embarrassment to pure confusion as you took in the man in front of you. He hadn’t shown his face on Earth the whole five years, and you were completely shocked at what he had done to himself. “Thor?” you breathed. “Why are you—um—well—“

He looked down his nose at you, tilting his sunglasses down with the hand that wasn’t holding a can of beer. Squinting, he tried to realize who he was speaking to. His realization was so slow that you could literally see it blooming across his features. When he recognized it was you, he merely turned around, mumbling something about wanting a Bloody Mary. You stared blankly after him as he stumbled out of the room, your mouth hanging open.

“Not sure what happened there,” Steve said as he came up behind you. “Clearly he hasn’t been taking things well.”

“Yes, I can see that,” you managed.

“Are you doing okay? I know you guys had a fight of some kind the last time he was here.”

“Yes, yes. I’m going to see if I can talk to him and find out what’s going on,” you decided. “He cannot fight like this.”

“I agree,” Steve said, wishing you luck as he left to confer with Natasha.

Although you tried, you had no luck throughout the day in getting Thor alone—mostly due to the fact that you were in meetings nearly constantly, and he seemed to be in a drunken stupor for every single one. It was sort of the elephant in the room for everybody, and you could tell more than a few of them were wondering if he was even capable of fighting in this state. Even you had your doubts about your former friend, so you decided to take matters into your own hands.

As it happened, you didn’t get your chance until late that night, when most of the Avengers were in their rooms thinking about the subjects of the day’s meetings. Taking a deep breath, you set your jaw resolutely and made your way through the numerous corridors to Thor’s room. Your heart pounded, but you furrowed your brow defiantly. You were Asgardian, and you definitely had the strength to help Thor out of—whatever this was.

At least, you hoped so.

You knocked on the door and were met with silence for several moments. Raising your knuckles, you were just about to repeat your action when you heard a faint mumble.

“‘s there?”

“It’s me.” You inhaled deeply, praying you wouldn’t be electrocuted on the spot. There was another, even longer silence, before—

“C’me in.” You were floored at his response, but recovered and turned the doorknob softly. The sight you were met with broke your heart.

Thor sat on the floor, leaning against his bed with tears tracking their way down his face and into his beard. Cans of alcohol littered the floor, and you could smell the sickly-sweet stench from where you stood. You forgot the five years of silence in an instant and rushed to his side, sitting down next to him.

“Thor?” you managed, and he turned his tear-filled eyes on you. As he took in your worried face, his own crumpled and he began to sob anew, nearly falling into you as you wrapped your arms around him. You simply let him cry for a while, rubbing soothing circles on his back with your thumbs. Eventually, he sat back up, his motions slow and sad. “What is it?” you ask.

“Seeing my brother die—my home laid waste—how do I move past that? How can I live knowing what has happened? I was unable to save Loki or Asgard,” he said, his words falling with deadly conviction. His voice lowered even more as he finished. “I couldn’t—I couldn’t even save myself.”

“Oh, Thor,” you whispered. These five years must have been pure hell for him. His eyes were tortured as they looked into yours, and without thinking, you took his hand as you spoke.

“What you have witnessed will no doubt haunt you for the rest of your life. I say now as I did five years ago that while I mourn with you, I cannot fathom how deep your sorrow must be. I can tell it has plagued you these last five years, and I only wish I had tried to fix things earlier. Thor, you could not have done anything more to save our world and everyone in it. You may be a god, but that does not mean you do not have limits. You fought hard, my friend. And I am proud of you. I am.” He was watching you intently as you spoke, tears renewing themselves as you went on.

“But this—“ You motioned to the alcohol scattered around the room. “This is not like you. You do not deserve to fade away into nothing, brought down by your own devices. Instead, you must take your grief and rage and use it as motivation, use it to heal. Only then can you find within yourself what you so desperately need. And I will be here every step of the way to help you through.”

Thor’s eyes overflowed again, but this time you could sense relief radiating off him. He drew you in for another hug, and you held him tight, knowing this is what he had needed to hear all this time. “Thank you, my friend,” he whispered in your ear.

“I am happy to do it, Thor. I would do anything to help you,” you told him sincerely.

“I must also apologize from the depths of my heart for shutting you out. The only thing my actions accomplished was create more hurt for both of us. I needed you by my side and instead I pushed you away.”

“It was only natural, Thor. You were grieving and were unsure of how to handle yourself. All is forgiven now,” you said, smiling at him. “Now, if you feel able, shall we go to the kitchen? I find that Midgardian food is most helpful in times like these.” You stood up, extending a hand to him.

And for the first time in five years, Thor felt hope coursing through him and found that he, too, was able to smile.

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luninosity · 4 years

Text

fanfic writers tag game!

I was tagged by the marvelous @musette22 for this lovely fanfiction tag game that was devised by the clearly very brilliant @thewaythatwerust, to discuss some of the fics I’ve written over time! Thanks so much! 💖

Let’s see, I shall tag... @thebestpersonherelovesbucky @turtletotem @gerec @whtaft and @ninemoons42 <3

Which of your fics…

* Did you think would get a bigger reaction/audience than it got:

Ah, a tricky one! I feel like I never really have expectations - I just write words because I can’t not! But maybe lines of light, which was my Steve/Bucky Fake Character Death Trope fic - it’s sort of a weird little fic, but I wanted more of that trope, but maybe that’s just me!

* Got a better reaction than you expected:

Oh, goodness - just about all of them! I remember being so shy and so nervous to share any of my writing, years ago, and now I write things that people seem to like...I think probably never mind the why and wherefore surprised me most, though! That’s my TJ Hammond/Johnny Storm fic, and when I started writing it mine was literally the third fic on AO3 for that pairing, and for that small a fandom, I’ve just been amazed.

Also, of course: I’m constantly amazed by how much people love Like Sugar! It was the biggest thing I’d ever tried to write, and it made me a better writer along the way, and I suspect it’s the Evanstan fic/series people might remember most, from my fics? (Also also, if original-fic-inspired-by-an-Evanstan-drabble counts: the love for Character Bleed has been overwhelming!)

* Is your funniest:

...am I funny? I don’t know! *waves hands about* I feel like I never set out to “write something funny,” but then again I like terrible puns and wordplay, so there’re probably funny lines in most fics? I hope?

Honestly maybe every inch of north and south, which has the Chris-turned-into-a-puppy plot, or Now That I’ve Found You, Stay, because giant patriotic dildos, or some of the banter in just a couple lovebirds, because I love Chris and Seb in that one. Or some of Bucky’s pulp fiction stories in tales to astonish. Or all the TERRIBLE autumn-related puns in the current Evanstan fic, A Place Not Far Away!

Or we could go REAL old-school and pull out the McFassy semi-crack fic in which James gets magically cursed to turn into a kitten. There’s that.

* Is your darkest/angstiest:

Ahahahaha. Um. *stares in Characters Having Emotions*

Okay, okay, um... Aside from certain specific chapters of Like Sugar and Amateur Cartography, it’s either The Tones That Tremble Down Your Spine (Bucky needs all the softness, after this! of course so does Steve...) (sometimes I think about adding a chapter, because it ends a little abruptly, but I also wanted it to - not everything’s 100% resolved, but it’s clearly on a healing trajectory!) ...

...or, over in Cherik-land, I hope we rise to the occasion, which does have a hopeful ending but is painful, or the balancing act stories (also Cherik) which were...personal in many ways (also originally written over on Livejournal, because I’m old).

* Is your absolute favourite:

Impossible! *laughs* It’s always the current story I’m (actively) writing. Which at the moment is the Evanstan autumn fluff-with-porn A Place Not Far Away. I don’t know if it’s my favorite-favorite, but it’s nice to get back to Evanstan and I love fall.

* Is your least favourite:

Also impossible! There’re things I love about all my stories. If I have to...maybe It’s Time To Bring This Ship Into The Shore, mostly because Michael’s such a dick to James for a lot of it. Which is also true in Loving Days (why was that a plot point in a few of my McFassy fics?) but I think I did a better job with his redemption in that one, and showing how much he changed and tried harder. And with Ship & Shore I wasn’t super-knowledgeable about the soul-bond trope (it was a request-fic) so I never felt quite sure I’d done it well enough!

* Was the easiest to write:

Amusingly, considering how epic and glorious and long the whole series became, I’d say Like O, Like H - the first Like Sugar Evanstan story. It just flowed. It knew what it wanted to be, and I tried to keep up. (Lovebirds was also one of those, as was the TJ/Johnny fic, never mind the why and wherefore.)

* Was the hardest to write:

the sound of rain on tin. It’s been the fic I’ve had the hardest time with ever. It’s my own fault for trying to do too much in terms of plot - sort of AU, an Evanstan-Stucky crossover, Lovecraftian elements - and then starting to post before I had it all properly sorted. I do know how it ends in general terms, I promise! but resolving plot/action has never been one of my strengths, and we’ve hit the point where I actually have to figure out How To Fix The Magic Portal-Thing, and I don’t feel like I’ve got it worked out well enough.

I mean if you all just want me to write the emotional Sebastian talking to Steve Rogers (and maybe a little curious kissing) and Chris talking to Bucky, and then *poof* suddenly Seb and Bucky are back in their respective universes and we get Emotional Reconciliation Scenes and Love Confessions, that part’s easy. I’ve had stray bits of those scenes done for years.

* Have you re-read the most:

Like Sugar, in part for continuity as I worked on later stories and in part because I’m really kind of proud of it.

* Would you recommend to someone reading your work for the first time:

Depends on what genres they like! I’m probably best known for - if anything - Like Sugar, and I think it’s pretty representative of my writing in terms of loving tender kink-with-emotions! But the person would have to not mind Evanstan RPF and soft Dom/sub kink and arranged (sort of) marriage tropes.

Other than that, for Evanstan, maybe Sweet Disposition (the third version of the clothes-sharing fic!); or (baby won’t you please), which is the Chris And Seb Go To A Sex Club For Research For a Role fic, or tempt me, tease me, which is...Sebastian leaves an unsatisfactory date with someone else (brief and random) to go pick Chris up from a bar, and then there’re lots of revelations about Feelings, and also porn-with-emotions. Those last two ‘feel’ similar in my head for some reason - mood, maybe, or story arcs about revelation and discovery.

...for Stucky, maybe when and where our eyes meet (Bucky falling asleep! soft blankets!)...or tales to astonish, because it’s such fun!

...if you want to go a bit older, I have weird affection for my first-ever Cherik fic, Know That It’s True, which is a Cerebro hurt/comfort fic, and then I love the slow development of the McFassy in No Wonder, No Wonder, which I occasionally still think about trying to revise as original, but it’s so character-driven that it’d be hard, but I love the feel of it, the hints of magic and the setting...

* Are you most proud of:

Like Sugar! At the time it was the biggest story I’d ever tried to write, both in terms of length and in terms of world-building and planning and characters growing closer together. Character Bleed got more complicated in terms of needing multiple outlines and plot, eventually, but I couldn’t’ve done that if I hadn’t done Like Sugar first.

* Has your favourite line/exchange/paragraph (share it):

Too hard to pick! There are so many!

I sometimes say it’s this one, from tempt me, tease me, though not always:

“If you’d like,” Sebastian offers, “we can even tell them I borrowed your key and lost it, if you don’t mind asserting small untruths to hotel personnel.” Big blue half-plastered Captain America eyes stare at him some more. “…Chris?” “You…” One hand waves, a partial gesture, pulled back at the last second. As if Chris has meant to reach out, and thought better of that. “You really would? You wouldn’t, y’know, mind?” Sebastian half-smiles. Thinks of cars with broken-glass windows in Romanian capital-city streets, thinks of students waving flags and cheering with feral glee, thinks of saucer-eyed childhood memories and songs of revolutionary fervor and desperate upheavals of optimism like birthing-pains. Chris Evans is beautiful and genuine and real, and Sebastian would do far worse things, would splinter his body and perjure his soul, to give Chris one more day in which to eat pizza and laugh and clap friends on the shoulder with a broad happy hand. “No,” he says, “I wouldn’t mind.”

Or, from the WIP - the next chapter of A Place Not Far Away - because my favorite is often what I’m currently working on, there’s this! Enjoy? <3

They both watch Sebastian for a second; he’s nodding, jotting down a quote, hair bouncing with the motion. His fingers are quick and tanned, gathering notes; his jacket’s casually open, and dirt’s left a scuff on his right boot.

He’s a New York City reporter in a black leather jacket and a stylish sweater, but he’s also a reporter who doesn’t mind getting dirty and will run through a corn maze and helped set out signs the first day Chris ever met him.

Carly pats Chris’s shoulder, says, “Enjoy yourself,” and heads off to supervise some historical blacksmith demonstrations. The sky shimmers in clouds and satin and magic and unfallen rain.

Sebastian bounces back over. “That’ll be fantastic, she was so excited, she’s already thinking about next year, which is so perfect for a pull quote, and it’ll get people thinking ahead about coming here then!”

Would you come back, Chris doesn’t say. Would you come back next year, next month, next week, even if your story’s done? Would you stay and not leave?

He can’t ask that. This is Sebastian’s job.

He says, “That’s awesome. You want lunch?”

“Absolutely. I haven’t eaten my way through your menu yet. Recommendations?”

“Classic Oktoberfest? The whole German sausage, potato, onion thing? That one’s popular. And, um, baked apples. In maple cream sauce.” Food. He can talk about food. Promoting their menu. Not getting down on both knees and promising to bring home every pumpkin Sebastian likes, if that’ll make those happy eyes stay at his side.

“Sounds good.” Sebastian’s eyebrows go up, beckoning Chris into the joke. “And I do like sausage.”

“I like your sausage,” Chris tells him, and Sebastian’s laugh is a splash of sunshine through clouds and cold and tree-branches that stretch to the sky.

#fanfic ask thing!#meme thing #musette22 #yay!#my fic #evanstan #stucky #cherik #mcfassy

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et-lesailes · 4 years

Text

missing linc // chapter nine

series masterlist

pairing: ceo!dad!steve x reader

word count: 2200

chapter summary: reader arrives at steve’s house to take care of linc for the weekend.

taglist: @patzammit, @lille-kattunge, @rohaintahquil, @deidrashouseofpain, @peach-acid, @allsortsofinterests, @mcueveryday, @cptn-sgrogers, @heyiamthatbitch, @sadella-adams, @aletteredaffair, @isawritesstories, @knuffeltuff, @societalfailure, @brastrangled, @anxiousstark, @captainsbxbygirl, @whimsicalatbest, @kind-sober-fullydressed, @lovehatekickscream

notes: welp guys, i removed everyone who didn’t complete the taglist check from the last chapter and i’m kinda disappointed? please do not ask to be added to my taglist if you do not plan on reading my work. it is a LOT of work for me to manually tag everyone (copy pasting does not work with tags), and seeing how small this list is, i could have saved so much time. i understand you may not read chapters the second they’ve been posted or that you have other stuff going on, but it’s been one month since i posted the last chapter and if you don’t plan on keeping up that frequently, you might as well just go to my masterlist and keep yourself updated on your own instead of having me individually tag you. ANYWAYS, on a brighter note, i really hope you guys like this chapter and please send me your feedback :)

“Please. Please, Steve, let’s just go on our trip, have our weekend away, then come home and deal with it all. I-- I want to be able to focus on us for a change, God dammit, how long has it been now that she’s come in between everything?”

Steve sighed heavily, running his fingers through his blond hair. “How can we just go away knowing she’s going to be here waiting for us, huh, Tiana? Shouldn’t we at least figure out what she wants?”

“No. I don’t want to talk to her right now. Apparently she’s been here for two fucking weeks, Steve, so whatever she wants can clearly wait.”

“How did you even find out she was here? What did she say when you talked to her?”

Tiana sat down on the bed, holding her head in her hands. “The freaking bar she works at is right next to my office. I was working late, came out to walk to my car, and I saw her going inside.” She looked up at her husband and he could see the simultaneous stress and frustration in her features. “I asked her what she was doing here, why she was here. You know Stella, she was playing all fucking coy and innocent, claiming she was just there because she wanted to move farther away from home and that it had nothing to do with us. But it didn’t seem right, Steve, I-- I think, no, I know she’s plotting something, I just don’t want to care about it right now, okay? It’s not like she can do anything while we’re out of town anyways, right?”

Steve listened with a slight frown, his mind instinctively thinking of you. “What if she comes by the house?” Stella shook her head, scoffing. “She doesn’t know the address, and even if she does find it, Y/N isn’t just going to let some stranger inside.” He barely bit on his lip. He supposed she was right, and it was not like Stella was someone of any danger. A bit misguided, maybe, but Steve knew her well enough to know she wouldn’t hurt anyone.

“Fine.” He exhaled deeply, rubbing his aching temples. “As long as we’re sure she’s just going to keep to herself and do what she’s been doing for the past couple weeks. At least tell her we’ll meet with her when we’re back so she knows we’re not avoiding her. Alright?”

His wife barely frowned but nodded her head, deciding to compromise. “Alright.”

To say it was awkward seeing Steve after days of no contact was an understatement, especially considering the circumstances-- you were literally standing in his home with a duffel bag of your things, ready to live there for a couple of days.

Just like before when the two picked up Linc together, Tiana was all rainbows and butterflies-- though it wasn’t difficult to tell it was forced and exaggerated. At least Steve wasn’t as stiff and uncomfortable as he was before; he gave you a genuine apologetic smile whenever the woman would open her mouth, and he seemed truly sincere and considerate when explaining to you everything you would need to know about staying there and taking care of Linc. You couldn’t help but coo fondly as you saw him napping in his crib in the nursery. You tried to stop thinking about the past and about your relationship with Steve. This was about Linc, not you or him or even Tiana. You could be an adult about this, not an emotional twenty-year-old.

Until Tiana went up to the bathroom, and the man immediately pulled you aside to the door opening to the garage. “Y/N,” he mumbled, looking down at you seriously through crystal hues and thick eyelashes, “I’m going crazy here. I know Tiana and I aren’t going to last much longer, I know this is the end, and I know I’ll be able to talk to you again soon. But God dammit, these past few days have been hell and I just-- I really miss you. I want you to know that.”

You bit your lip, looking up into his eyes unable to help but give in to your feelings. “I miss you too,” you admitted, suddenly feeling vulnerable and even a little needy all at once. “I guess I just… I don’t understand why you’re doing this trip if this is the way you feel. Why give her the satisfaction?”

“Because I fucked up, Y/N. With her. I owe this much to her, I have to make up for what I wasn’t strong enough to do before.” He sighed heavily, looking away briefly before looking back to you, gently placing his hands on your shoulders. “When I get back, me and you are going to sit down and just finally talk, alright? About everything. I need to get to know you, fuck, I really, really want to get to know you, but first, I need you to know me before… you decide how you feel.”

He leaned down and pressed his forehead against yours, the physical contact almost taking your breath away. If he could have this much of an impact on you from such a simple action, what would kissing him be like? Your eyes drifted to his lips, your heart pounding fast. Everything you had discussed in your last phone call with him seemed to be slipping away, all you could think about was how badly you wished it was you going away with him and not Tiana. He continued speaking in a low murmur, “So please be patient with me. You already have been, so much, and I appreciate it. But I need you to hold out these next two days, just a little bit more. You don’t need to promise any commitment and you don’t even need to have feelings for me. I just-- I need to know I at least have a chance.”

“You do,” you practically almost blurted out, though keeping your voice in a whisper. You were about to say more when Tiana’s voice sounded from upstairs. “Steve, there’s a phone charger up here, do you need it?”

Something about hearing her mere voice fueled an odd… heat inside of you. As he pulled back from you to inform her that it was just an extra one and that he had already packed his, you focused on this heat. Concentrated on it so intensely, you were practically spaced out. “Y/N?” He looked back down at you, slightly concerned. “Are you--”

He did not get to finish his question thanks to your lips interrupting, pressed upon his in a kiss of desire and passion, finally pouring out everything you had bottled up inside. He was clearly taken aback but he did not let this deter him from quickly wrapping his arms around your waist, scooping you up and pressing your back against the door, kissing you back just as roughly-- almost desperately. You wrapped your legs tightly around him, hands finding his hair to barely tug, unable to help but moan softly when his own moved down to give your ass a squeeze.

The sound of footsteps upon the staircase immediately made you pull apart, your breaths heavy and eyes wide as Steve quickly set you down, staring down at you in pure awe and desire. He looked down and picked up his bag before taking your arm, pulling you out to the garage and opening the trunk of his Mercedes.

“Steve?” Tiana called, and he cleared his throat as he called back, “In the garage, Ti, just loading the car. You can just put your bags by the door and I’ll take care of it.” He slowly looked down at you, running his fingers through his hair. “Jesus Christ, baby girl.” He mumbled, and the pet name made you want to grab him and kiss him again. No, no, no. This was wrong. You bit your lip, looking up at him apologetically. “Sorry,” you whispered, truly meaning it. “I… I don’t know what got into me, that wasn’t right.” He barely scoffed, shaking his head. “Then fuck, I don’t want to be right, because that was fucking amazing. At least made saying goodbye to you a little easier,” he murmured with a playful smirk, and you couldn’t help but giggle.

The car was finally loaded and the two were ready to go. You stood at the doorway of the garage and waved them off, though it was hard to not only keep your eyes on Steve. When Tiana was looking down at her phone, he gave you a wink before pulling completely out of the driveway, his shiny car eventually disappearing down the street.

“Mo? Mo??” Linc hollered as he made the sign language gesture for “more” with his hands, blue eyes wide with hope.

You laughed and nodded your head, getting up from the table and taking his empty bowl to the kitchen to fill with more pasta. “You got it, buddy. Do you want more fruit, too?” You glanced over at him in his high chair and he nodded his head eagerly, adorable smile spreading from ear-to-ear. God, this boy had you wrapped around his finger, and you were certain he got this skill from his father. You grabbed an orange from the fruit bowl and came back, setting the pasta in front of him before sitting down to peel the orange.

He had only been a little cranky upon waking up and seeing his parents gone, but you figured he at least felt more secure being with you, someone he saw pretty much everyday. You gave him a few orange slices before leaning in to kiss his head. “You are the cutest baby in the world, you know that?” Linc simply looked up at you and giggled, using his hand to stuff a pasta shell into his mouth. “Hey, big boy, you know better than that-- use your fork, silly!” you teased, handing him the toddler fork. He simply giggled again but took it, stabbing the pasta with it and giving himself a rather large mouthful.

You sighed fondly as you watched him, biting your lip. Could this be your life soon? Dating a father, taking care of a precious baby boy together, having a literal home to stay in rather than an apartment? You shook your head to yourself; you couldn’t get ahead of yourself like this. Still, it was a wonderful fantasy to envision considering how badly you wanted to be a mother one day, and how often your job gave you baby fever despite being very much single and still in school. It wasn’t as though you wanted to give up all of your studies and dreams and live your days as a housewife and stay-at-home mom, but having a more adult relationship and being a caretaker while also being a working woman held much appeal.

Your phone buzzed and you glanced at the screen, reading a text from Peter.

Peter: Hey Y/N! Do you want to hang out tonight? I was kinda feeling a movie night, wanted to see if you were down.

You were about to respond and politely decline, considering you literally couldn’t leave the house unless you were to bring an almost two-year-old baby along with you, then remembered the home theater room Steve had downstairs. It would be nice to have company anyways, and it would be kind of fun to have someone else with you and Linc. You went to Steve’s contact, sending him a message.

Y/N: Hey Steve. Totally okay if you’re not comfortable with this, but is it cool if a friend comes over to watch a movie? Linc’s had his dinner and I’m about to give him a bath soon, so he’ll probably be sleeping within the next couple hours.

Y/N: But again, I understand if you’d rather not have anyone else come to the house!

You wondered if he’d even respond; God knows what he was doing with Tiana, and quite honestly, you were trying not to think about it too much. However, your phone soon buzzed a few minutes later.

Steve: Of course. Have as many friends over as you like. I want you to feel at home.

Y/N: Omg thanks! Soooo where do you keep the alcohol?

Y/N: Jk jk. Promise not to trash your house 0:)

Steve: The good stuff’s in the liquor cabinet downstairs. ;)

You couldn’t help but smile, shaking your head fondly to yourself before going back to Peter’s message. After sending him a text explaining the situation and inviting him over, including that he could bring a couple friends if he wanted, you looked to a very messy Linc with pasta sauce all over his face, bib, and somehow, his hair. “Alright, mister, it’s definitely bathtime for you.” You giggled softly, scooping up the toddler. You went into the kitchen first to get a baby wipe, cleaning as much sauce off of him as you could.

On the table, your phone lit up.

Peter: Ned and Stella are down to come too! We’ll be there in about half an hour. :)

#steve rogers x reader #steve rogers fanfiction #steve rogers imagine #steve rogers x you #ml

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