#also we are ignoring the quality of the first gif | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

roturo · 10 months

Text

Written All Over Your Face dick grayson x reader

→ summary: “Well, you know what they say, Love and Hate are two sides of a very, very thin line. For what I can see, you have a pent up sexual frustration written all over your face Dick.”

→ warnings: SMUT. p in v, unprotected sex (don't be dumb and wrap it), enemies to lovers, heroe!reader, breeding kink, bulge kink ¿?, not proof-read, possessive behavior, begging...

words: 2k

TUMBLR IS BASED ON A REBLOG SYSTEM. PLEASE REBLOG MY WORK. THANK YOU. ENJOY. SMUT BELOW THE CUT.

Being a heroe wasn't easy. Neither being considered a competition for Nightwing. The Ex-Robin. The Dick Grayson.

Both being ¨super-heroes¨ with no powers brought many controversial articles between you two, not only at the Gotham-Batman times, but also now at the new Titans times.

You never thought seeing him again and his boyish smile and attitude. No wonder why he has many girls falling for him, not only as Nightwing, but also as his real identity. But this rough times between the heroes, made the destiny bringing you together again.

Both of you had mutual friends, and when Dawn invited you to meet the new Titans, and asked you for help to train them, you never thought of seeing him again, neither of both of you training teenage kids how to become high quality-trained super heroes.

¨Sorry.¨ Were the last words you heard from Dawn, when she left you with bird boy at the training room, giving you an apologetic smile.

God bless her natural charm and being the trusting friend she is because you couldn't hit her face right now with the rage you're feeling.

¨Hi!¨ A green-haired boy said to you, he had the same, maybe not as pretty, boyish smile like Grayson. ¨Hello...?¨

¨Gar.¨ He told you, not putting down the smile.

With just a nod and a not so happy smile, your eyes moved into a purple-haired girl, who just smiled at you and said her name. ¨Rachel.¨ She hit the boy next to her with her elbow, murmuring his name.

¨Jason.¨ He said, ¨Is this your girlfriend Dick? Because she's pretty good looking for a guy like you. But yeah, what she's doing here anyways?¨

Oh. Yeah. Bird boy. He's here.

¨Yeah Grayson, what’s going on?¨ Completely ignoring the fact Dick was about to answer Jason’s question with furrowed brows and you obviously knowing why you're here since Dawn explained you. ¨And no, i'm not his girlfriend.¨ You looked at Jason with a smile which changed into a fake smile when your eyes returned to Dick. ¨He wishes.¨ You said, your head turning to the side, obviously trying to make him angry. At which he only scoffed, knowing you well enough to know what you were trying. ¨Yeah number two, maybe we can just pass at me explaining you why you´re here.¨

Number two? He WISHES.

¨I know why am I here. I don´t know if your little brain remembers you made Dawn bring me here to help you train this kids.¨ You got closer to him, not breaking eye contact. ¨And number two? pfft, If you were number one, maybe you wouldn't have been replaced by new Robin here.¨

That got him exactly where you wanted him. He might seem like a strong and rough guy, but behind all that image of big boy, there’s nothing else but trauma.

You couldn’t help but notice how his jaw clenched at the small giggle Jason let when you mentioned Dick being replaced. Side-eyeing him, Jason stopped. Dick sighed trying to calm himself down.

“First. I didn’t know Dawn brought you here, she just told me about bringing the perfect person to help me train them, I was not expecting you.” You could tell he was still angry at the remark, so he wanted to correct you. “Second. I didn’t got replaced. I left Wayne by choice of mine.”

“And third. I’m not longer Robin.”

It got into a really tense vibe between you and Dick trying to kill each-other with just your eyes, everyone in silence, clearly uncomfortable at this new encounter.

“Can both of you stop eye-fucking eachother and can we finally start the training?” Jason said, trying to bring both of you back to earth.

That clearly caught both of your attention to what Jason said, clearly annoyed at the wrong remark of how both of you were looking at each-other. “We’re not “eye-fucking” each-other Jason, stop getting into other’s people conversations.” With that, Dick started grabbing everything for the training of today, moving on. Jason just raised his arms at the air, (like when they’re showing they’re not armed), with a small smirk on his face.

“Well, you know what they say, Love and Hate are two sides of a very, very thin line. For what I can see, you have a pent up sexual frustration written all over your face Dick.”

That brought a hard, and big laugh to your face, how could Jason say that? This kids don’t even respect their “leader” This was going to be a funny training.

After what seemed like 1 hour of training, and getting to know the kids, you could get which were the flaws and weaknesses. Maybe you couldn’t understand quite well Rachel’s powers, but some time will do it.

You asked Gar where you could sleep the night, since it was already getting late and your most likely staying some days here, you'll also need some extra clothes at least for today.

Gar told you to stay in the spare room next's to Dick's, great, what a nice neighbor you have. He also gave you some clothes you could use tonight, tomorrow you could go back to your place and get some clothes, your skincare.... and I guess your super-hero suit.

When going out of the bathroom after a long shower (which you deserved), Dick was standing there, shirtless, all sweaty, and just with some grey sweatpants on... he looks.... nice, yeah. Obviously annoyed but when he saw you, his face turned into... panic?

He doesn't know what's happening to him right now, might be stress he needs to get relieved, yeah, sure, that's the reason he feels his pants getting tighter every-second he keeps looking at you right now.

¨Are you okay bird-boy why´re you just static over here, I know you have problems, but this a new one.¨ You looked up and down at Dick's figure, obviously checking him out, not like he needs to find out, noticing he´s quite handsome, not like you would tell him also, he's hot, and he knows it.

¨That´s... That´s my shirt¨ Was all that Dick could say, well, shit.

You knew the t-shirt had a distinct laundry soap scent which remind you of someone, and maybe a pint of perfume, but who could blame you?! Might be Gar's or Jason's!

¨And those... are my boxers.¨ double shit.

You could see he was obviously blushed and you're sure you are too, but what a coincide. It's like you could hear Rachel, Gar and Jason's laughing at the both of you.

¨Well... do want me to give them back at you?¨ You broke the tense silence, trying to take your, his, shirt-off, completely forgetting you're in front of him, you needed to find a way out of here.

¨No, no, no, stop! Leave it there, then you give it back to me.¨ He assured you, grabbing your hands and pulling them down with your, his? t-shirt. ¨And it looks better on you anyways.¨ That's all he said before speed entering to the bath-room.

¨Hey Dick!, Wait.¨ To say you couldn't feel the wetness of your pussy going out and asking for some relief, would be considered a crime. ¨What do you ne-¨ You cut him off by entering the bath-room closing the door in the process, both of your lips connecting in a perfect symphony like they were made for each-other. He left a sudden whine at the loss of the soft touch of your lips.

¨Oh.¨ Was all he could say, you don't understand what happened to you, it wasn't definitely a normal behavior between you two. ¨Oh my god. I'm so sorry Dick, I don't know what happened to me, i'm-¨ You couldn't finish the last sentence when you felt his lips in yous again. A little hesitant this time, he stops, unsure of his actions, but he lose it all. ¨Do it again.¨

That's all he needed to continue kissing you, hands caressing you neck, positioning them as a chocking posture, later going to trace your jaw as he continues kissing you.

He started giving you kisses trailing down your chin, making you moan at the specific spot that made your legs shake, he started leaving love bites between your chest, later going down on you, pulling your t-shirt upwards, getting between your breasts and marking them as his.

¨Please Dick... Please make me feel good.¨ It´s like something got into him when his hands started roaming your body like crazy, pulling your shirt off, your hand reaching his sweatpants, and later his cock, noticing he has no underwear under neat it. ¨It's like you were ready for this bird-boy, ah!-¨ Even when you try to tease him, he finds a way to tease you back even in a better way, his fingers playing with your nipple had you giddy and trembling. ¨Be a good girl if you want me to fuck you.¨

All you could do is nod and start stroking his hard cock, already leaking pre-cum which made the stroking easier, playing with the head had him as a moaning mess.

“Fuck, wait — shit. Mm— fuck. Wh-where did you learn to do that?” He left a whiny moan at the lose of your touch.

“Well, the noises you make are a pretty good indication of how you like it.” He man-handled you, turning you around, making you see yourself at the mirror.

“…God you sound so fucking cocky right now and it’s turning me on even more.” He ripped apart the boxers you were wearing. ¨Don't worry, I have plenty more.¨ Fuck him and his fucking pretty smile.

With no more waiting, he positioned himself, and started thrusting into you. He fits just right, and could touch all the places you couldn't reach.

“Let me know if I’m doing anything wrong, okay? I want to make you feel as good as possible.” Even when he's fucking your brains out, he finds a way to be that kind and nice guy he is.

“O-Okay.” Was all you could tell him, before & after some moans and whines from both of you, one specific thrust had you seeing stars.

His hand lingered down your tummy and he moaned at the bump he could feel, when he was going in and out with his thrusts. ¨Oh baby, I'm going to make you mine, fill you up.¨

He started playing with your clit, it had you crazy all the feelings of his body, his thrusts, him.

¨´You´re so good for me, all for me... 'm gonna' fill you up with my babies, 'm gonna make you a mommy, full of my cum every-day just to make sure.¨

That was all you needed to cum, with just some last thrusts he came inside you too, fulfilling his promise of keeping you full of his cum. He waited for you to calm down, before he inserted two of his fingers, recollecting the cum that was falling out your hole, inserting it inside you again, making you moan at the sudden intrusion.

He got the tub ready, and got you inside it, in front of him while he cleaned your sore body while kissing it.

¨I can't believe it took me all this years to realize how I feel about you.¨ Your heart was anxious at how your confession would be received.

¨Doesn't take an idiot to figure out. You couldn't tell I was and I am in love with you because you were too busy trying to beat all that rivalry. I was in love the moment you kicked my ass for the first time.¨

You chuckled at the confession, and laid your head on his shoulder where you could see his dumb smirk. ¨You have that stupid smirk on your face again, can't you have a serious conversation with me?, can we fight again?¨

He laughed at your comment ¨Not a possible thing for me when you look this cute all marked by me and confessing your feelings for me.¨ The small pecks he started leaving on your neck and back had you giggling.

¨I love you.¨

¨I love you too, bird-boy.¨

#dick grayson x reader smut #dick grayson smut #dick grayson #nightwing smut #nightwing x reader smut #dick grayson x reader #nightwing #nightwing x reader #titans x reader #titans smut #jason todd smut

1K notes · View notes

moonswolfie · 8 months

Text

Very interesting

Oikawa x gn!reader

I thought about an oikawa x reader with this dynamic:

so here we are, also you (the reader) hates him at first and have no knowledge of volleyball outside the basics

Today, you were dragged by your friends to a game of volleyball. They wanted to see some guy in your school they're currently obsessing over called Oikawa Tooru. They constantly rave on about how perfect and hot he is. You did become kind of curious as to what he's like, even if you didn't want to spend your afternoon at a volleyball game watching him.

As the players entered the court, you thought about excusing yourself to the bathroom and then just leaving. Sure, your friends are going to hound you for it later but you really didn't feel like sitting here right now.

Suddenly, all the girls sat around you started squealing and screaming Oikawa's name and you quickly looked down on the court to find a guy with fluffy brown hair and an attractive face smiling and waving back at the crowd.

Huh. So this is Oikawa. I mean, he is physically attractive, and you can see why your friends are crushing on him, but he just seems so vanilla. Just like every other "popular hot guy".

And needless to say, you dislike that kind of guy. They're always arrogant and let it get to their head when their only good quality is that they have a pretty face.

Now you really wanted to leave.

You got up, fully intending on leaving when you felt your arm being pulled on. "No, you're freaking not. Sit down." your friend pulled you back, and you sat down in your seat, crossing your arms and huffing.

Well, you can always distract yourself by daydreaming, you suppose. You tried your best to ignore the annoying screeches of all the fangirls around you but it was simply impossible. So you sighed, attempting to cure your boredom by watching the volleyball fly around.

Your eyes wandered from player to player, eventually landing on Oikawa. His face at that moment looked unlike anything you expected. It looked serious, intense, focused. A complete contrast to the flirty smile earlier.

His face suddenly felt real, now that he wasn't wearing a plastic smile.

Even though you don't know much about volleyball, you can feel the practiced precision in his movements. It's quite scary how he does so with such a calm, relaxed face.

It draws you in, and you hate that it does.

You don't know what kind of player he is, but he always moves to the middle after someone gets the ball up and he tosses it to someone. Somehow, you can tell he does the job well. Terrifyingly so.

It makes his carefree smile look oddly horrifying.

"Huh, maybe he is more than a pretty-" You shut that thought down before you could even finish it. You're getting too worked up over him. And yet you can't stop looking.

All of a sudden, his eyes meet yours.

You quickly averted your gaze. That must have just been your imagination, right? He has a game of volleyball to play, after all. He wouldn't look into the crowd of mostly fangirls during a time like this.

The whistle blows, indicating a time out, one of the things you can assume happens in a match of volleyball. Your eyes slowly travel back down to the court, only to find Oikawa still staring at you.

You jump a little, immediately looking away again. Just what is up with this enigma of a guy?! You heard a couple of fangirls and your friends scream beside you, wondering if Oikawa is looking at them.

You rolled your eyes, cringing at the behaviour of his fangirls. And yet, your eyes reluctantly moved back to him, and as soon as he noticed, he gave you a playful smirk, winking at you.

His fangirls freaked out, swearing up and down that he winked at them as you just kind of sat there, regretting looking at him again. You were about to shoot him an annoyed glare when one of his teammates hit the back of his head, yelling something you couldn't hear.

You huffed a laugh. That's what he gets for not paying attention.

You had quite a bit of trouble surviving the rest of the game, having to balance in between looking at the match and looking away to avoid making eye contact with him again.

After everyone around you suddenly began cheering the school name happily and the fangirls became obnoxiously loud, you knew your school won. You thanked the gods it was finally over and quickly got up, sliding through the crowd of fangirls to get the hell outta there.

You ignored your friends who were yelling your name, quickly getting off the stadium stands and making your way to the exit.

"Finally..." you thought as the exit of the stadium entered your vision.

You calmly walked to it without a care in the world, when you felt yourself being pushed lightly against the wall and hand making a *bang* noise as it hit the wall beside you.

The one pushing you to a wall is none other than Oikawa Tooru. You looked at him, eyebrows furrowing a bit.

He looked out of breath, panting heavily with slightly flushed cheeks. Did this guy seriously just run away from his coach and teammates to catch you before you could leave? His eyes had a wild gleam in them, one that made you feel like you were his pray. It was similar to the look he had in his eyes during the match. You shivered.

His face switched almost instantly into a flirty smile, and he breathlessly greeted you. The way he did that made you oddly unnerved. Is this how his opponents feel during a match, too?

He looked at you expectantly, confidently waiting for your reaction.

"What do you want?" you said, raising a brow. His eyes visibly widened for a second at your unbothered tone, and you smirked on the inside. "Oh, were you expecting me to freak out and ask to date you, perhaps?" you teased him in your head.

He quickly covered his surprise with another flirty smile. "Can I have your number, hmmm?" he said, leaning closer.

"And why should I give it to you?" you asked, turning your face away casually.

Out of the corner of your eye, you saw his cheeks flush red with embarrasment. "Oh come on, you know you want to." his tone sounded significantly less confident, even if he tried covering it up.

"Do I?" you said, smirking a little. You watched as his face flushed completely red. Seems he was completely embarrased by the fact his flirting attempts failed. He must not be used to his flirting failing.

God, you want to tease him right now.

"Well, um- I..." the rest of the sentence died off, and you were left just staring at each other awkwardly.

"If that's it, I'll be going now." you turned calmly and walked away, leaving a malfunctioning Oikawa all by himself. "Wait! Where are you going?!" you heard him yell behind you, clearly distressed.

In front of the door, you stopped walking, crossing your arms.

"Oh, and by the way, fake smiles don't suit you."

You pushed open the door, not looking behind you at all. As soon as you knew you were out of sight, you laughed to yourself.

How interesting. Very very interesting.

This turned out way more mean than I expected lol

Somehow I don't feel too proud of this one... I kinda hate writing mean readers like this but come on the DRAMAAAA 😫

#˗ˏˋ ★ ☁︎ 「Wolfie’s works」 ☾ ★ ˎˊ˗#haikyuu!!#haikyuu #haikyū!!#haikyuu fluff #haikyu x reader #haikyuu x reader #haikyu!!#hq oikawa #oikawa tooru #oikawa tōru #oikawa x reader #oikawa x y/n #oikawa x you #oikawa tooru x reader #oikawa imagine #gender neutral reader #gn reader

442 notes · View notes

volturiprincess · 2 months

Text

Forgotten?

Alec Volturi x vampire mate reader

Summary: Alec has been distant from y/n, will his mate forgive him Warnings: Slight curse words, angst to fluff A/N: You know the satisfaction of finishing a one-shot is beautiful. Im also glad Alec is my second one, love this man of a vampire. Also whenever I write for the twins, they are aged up. Enjoy :)

'''''''''''''''''''🖤''''''''''''''''''''''''🖤'''''''''''''''''''''''🖤''''''''''''''''''''''''🖤''''''''''''''''''''''🖤'''''''''''''''''''''

(This scene is perfect, that eye movement was everything, I could watch this GIF for hours if I could. But like sir who let you look that good?)

I was sitting in the library with Felix and Demetri just talking about our latest mission that the three of us had recently.

“You know the satisfaction I had when I sunk my teeth into that human, she was such a pain in the ass, and it made it better that her vampire mate was watching, but….. I got to say Felix the amount of times I have seen you rip heads off, it's always more satisfying than the last one”

Felix smirks “Thanks y/n, you know it never gets old either and you are right that human girl was annoying, glad she got what she deserve”

Demetri spoke up “I never understood how a human and a vampire can be mates, it's just how can that be you know, like I feel if they ever had intimacy or something that poor human would be dead in a minute”.

We burst out laughing at his comment, “Dem you never fail to make me laugh”

He shrug his shoulders “What can I say it's a talent”

I roll my eyes at his comment and Felix says “Where’s your mate and Jane, I thought you were going to spend the day with him anyway or something”

I said casually with a hint of sadness“I was suppose to be with him today, but he canceled last minute, he said he had to do something important”

Both guys looked at me and Demetri was the first to talk

“More important than you? y/n that's been like the 10th time he has canceled on you this past month, how in the world are you not pissed at him, when was the last time you two spent quality time together?”

I thought about it for a minute trying to remember but then I realized it's been a very long time, maybe a half a decade already. We haven't even had sex in that time either. I looked at the boys

“Um…maybe a couple of years?”

Their eyes widened at that “A couple of years?” they responded in unison.

I nod hesitantly “I didn't even realize it's been that long, son of a bitch, has he been avoiding me or something?”

Felix shook his head in disapproval “You know that's not fair for you y/n, have you even brought that up to him”

I shook my head “I mean I just….You know your right Felix, this cant be going on like this, maybe I should I give him a piece of my own medicine”

Demetri eyes widen like a child who was given a treat“Oooo I like the sound of that”

I smile slightly but then I sense Alec entering the library which causes me to internally panic. I ignored him sitting next to me and instead I went to the bookshelves and looked for a book to read. In the corner of my eye I see that Alec looks at me with a bit of a confused look but then an idea pops up. My power is being able to move things with my mind but I could also telepathically talk to others. I use my power and send a message to Felix to improvise with the upcoming plan I'm about to do.

“Felix? Can you help me get that book that's up there?”

I look at the mountain of a vampire who is instantly by my side. “Of course cara, which one do you want?”

I could see that Alec’s eyes have narrowed at the sudden interaction “That one called Philosophy of Athens”

Felix nods and reaches over me to grab the book and I just look up into his face when he is reaching up, he looks down to me with a devilish smirk and I just wink in return. I knew Alec will be fuming with anger but he deserves payback. Felix hands me the book and he slightly brushes his lips on my jawline which catches me off guard for a minute but I fake an innocent look at him while he just winks and walks back to his previous spot. I stand there for a minute and I see that Alec has disappeared. I look around the library and Demetri speaks up

“He left after Felix gave you the kiss, you should of seen his face, if looks could kill, Felix would of been six feet under”

I roll my eyes and ask “Should I go after him or…?”

Demetri shakes his head “Y/n you got a reaction out of him, you need to keep going so he is the one that comes up to you, he is the one that has been pushing you aside, now it's your turn”

I nod “Your right Dem, this is the start of a new era”. They both smiled mischievously.

1 week later..

It's been a week since the library incident and Alec still has not come up to me, I know the game I am playing is dangerous. I mean come on he's one of the infamous twins who are the most intimidating and ruthless and yet here I am ignoring and pushing him away. It has been so hard to be this way with him, I love him so much that just being like this is torture, I think I would rather have Jane use her power on me then have to be like this with Alec and that is saying something.

On Alec’s part he still is acting the same, he has not even dared to look me in the eye or even been in the same room as me for long. I also noticed that recently I have been aching for Alec more than usual, I literally want him to be with me again, at this point I would take anything from him even if he just looks at me.

I miss his piercing burgundy eyes that always leave me in a trance or how his jawline tightens when I would brush against him slightly. Even to how he stands so elegantly when we are at our guard meetings with the Kings. Or how his smirk can literally make me feel weak in the knees but I would never give him the satisfaction in telling him the effect his smirk gives me because I know he would tease me for years to come. I miss how we cuddle either in our shared chamber or under the willow tree I am currently laying down, it was our spot that we would spend hours at.

I was so lost in thought I didn't even notice someone was calling my name until someone slightly kicked my foot and I finally sat up and snapped my gaze to the person. It was Jane and she had that emotionless look as usual, she was the one to speak first

“Why are you here alone, I thought you were going to train the newborns with Felix and Demetri?”

I was going to do that today but the guys knew I was not feeling it and noticed I am not in a right mindset so they gave me the day off

“They gave me the day off”

She nods slightly “Still does not answer my question”

I look down defeated “He doesn't want me anymore, he won't even look at me anymore or even leave those little love notes in my favorite books”

There was a silence and I thought she left but she talked again “You think my brother does not want you anymore?”

I nodded and if I could cry I would at that moment “He doesn't even come into our private chambers as often”

There was that tense silence again “Have you spoken to him about this?”

I shook my head “How can I when I don't even know where he is half of the time and he wont even come to me anymore, he keeps canceling our date nights also”

At that point I wanted to shake Jane to get her to tell me anything about Alec, I was that desperate but I used my telekinesis to hold me down so I didn't actually jump her.

She spoke up again “I don't know what is up with my brother, he won't say but I can tell there is something wrong, I would assume you would have an idea because when we part ways i thought he would always go to you”

When she said that my gaze snapped up to her again in shock “So not even you know what is up with him then?”

She shook her head and I said “Jane, if I asked you to do something for me would you do it?”

“Of course, you are my sister-in-law after all, your the second person I genuinely like, first being my brother”

I nod “Can you use your power on me?”

I saw her eyes widen at that and she instantly shook her head “No I will never do that to you, why would you ask such a request from me?”

I let an unnecessary sigh out “I don't feel anything Jane, Alec has been distant for a couple of years already, I can feel that sudden small rip in our bond, it hurts Jane, it really does, and at this point I don't think I can even go on in life without him, even when I spend time with Felix and Demetri, I just fake it so they don't question me to much”

She got down on her knees and what she did next would shock others but not to me, she hugged me tightly. I just let her hug me while I just sat there dully, she soon pulled away and said “Y/n I can't bare to see you like this, I haven't even realized that you and Alec have been like this for so long, I don't want to see the two most important people in my life like this anymore”

I don't respond but nod along mindlessly

“Wait here, I will be back”

She left before I can look at her, I decided to lay down again and closed my eyes as I felt my eyes burn with venom, the thing that sucked of being a vampire is not being able to let real tears out, I just feel this burning sensation in my eyes but I haven't felt like this in centuries already. Alec has always made me feel loved and happy, the way that man with only just a touch has me melting for him or when he did those rare smiles I love so much. If I had a heart it would be beating out of my chest every time we are together.

When me and Alec were told we were mates by Marcus, we absolutely loathe each other, we could barely be in the same room without one of us getting annoyed by the other. It took us a good year until we started to tolerate each other. Soon after that year I started to feel the bond with him, I couldn't stand to be away from him for long and I knew he felt the same way because the minute we were apart he or I would go search for the other.

One day he decided to take me on a walk in the gardens, and as cliche as this might sound he kissed me under the moonlight. The moonlight was literally on us when we were kissing, at that moment me and him accepted each other completely as mates. We were inseparable, we started to share a room together and the Kings were more accepting of me and Alec going on missions together without the fear we might rip each other's throats out.

It felt like we were in wonderland or in cloud 9, when he moved I moved, or when I moved he followed along. We also had a very long honeymoon phase where we couldn't keep our hands to ourselves, every time when we were hanging with the other guards, me and Alec would sneak away and have our intimacy or when we were in the hallways he would give me kisses out of nowhere against the wall, we been caught various times but that didn't stop us from doing it again.

We have been mated for centuries, and not a day goes by that I don't fall in love with him all over again or feel tired of him. He really is my other half but with the lack of Alec in my life it has taken a toll on me, it almost feels like HE is sick and tired of me.

Just that thought could break my non-existent heart, I would end up like Marcus in a way. If Alec were to leave me it's way worse than him being dead. I would still have to see him and be in his presence but not be able to actually be with him.

My mind must have wondered again because I didn't realize a certain someone was sitting next to me. I opened my eyes when I realized it was Alec from the pull of the bond. From that I sat up and he looked right at me, watching me carefully and intensely. He still has that stone face that makes him look so gorgeous, he really is the reincarnation of some Greek god. We stayed quiet watching each other for a while when he finally spoke, hearing his voice again would have made me shiver if I could.

“So you and Felix, huh?”

Even though it feels amazing to hear him talking to me, that question threw me off and made me change moods in an instant.

“Seriously? After months and months of not having full conversations or paying attention to me, you have the audacity of asking a question like that?”

He stayed quiet and I could tell his mind was blank because I couldn't hear his thoughts.

“Why would I ever get with Felix when I have a mate that I love deeply? words cannot describe the love I have for you”

That for sure caught him off guard because he blinked a bit from shock and he spoke up

“Just wanted to hear you say that and get a reaction out of you” and then he winks.

That bastard winked and it was so smooth that I didn't even give what he said a second thought, he left me flabbergasted.

“You really are bipolar, you never fail to surprise me after centuries of being together”

He smiles slightly at my comment

“And you don’t fail to amuse me with your words”

“Don't think with your wink and smile will make me forgive you that easily”

“Forgive me? For what?”

The way he genuinely looked surprises at my accusation really did set my mood off

“Are you really asking me that? Have you not heard what I said earlier or noticed the lack of us?”

I saw his facial expression shift to tense “So I was ignoring you then?”

“Obviously, do you remember the last time we went on a date?”

He stayed silent and I knew he was trying to remember and at that moment I can also tell everything that what has been happening these past few years was hitting him.

“Too long ago…”

I nodded “And even then when we made plans you would cancel or say you forgot or are to busy”

He looked down in what I could assume was shame.

“Even if we didn't go on dates, you have been avoiding me like the plague, you don't even look at me as much or even hug me, you can't even bare to be in the same room as me for long, it's as if we are back to when we hated each other before accepting each other as mates all over again but worse”

His mind was still blank

“I have been miserable without you, I even asked Jane earlier to use her power on me because I don't even feel anything anymore”

He looked at me with shock “You really asked her to do that? But…”

“I did, but she refused of course”

He nodded “Cara mia, I been so stupid, I never meant to hurt you in anyway”

I looked at him “If you really never meant to hurt me what made you act like this toward me for so long?”

He took an unnecessary breath “I don't know, I felt like these past years I was feeling…..off, I felt like being away from everyone but I didn't even realize its been going on for a while until Jane came up to me and smack me and ordered me to come to you”

“You could of just came up to me and talked or let me into your mind if you can't form words, I have always been there for you Alec”

He looked at me with remorse and in a soft voice he confessed

“I didn't want to be a burden to you or bring you down with me”

I reached reach for his hand

"Alec you will never be a burden to me, we go together in our darkest or lightest days as we always did in the past, there's no I in us”

He squeezed my hand “I never wanted to make you feel unwanted, I just wanted to figure this out alone but I realize I can't without you”

I nodded, “How could you let so much time go by like that without trying to get help from me or saying anything?”

He shrug his shoulders “We been immortals for so long that time kind of blurs for us in a way but that still does not make up for what I done to you, you are my whole reason for being here, my center and life, mi amore ti amo, I will never to this to you again, and if I do then I give you permission to slap me or something because then I would of broken my promise to you”

“Oh Alec come here” I reached for him and he instantly wrapped his arms around me and pulled me into his laps to deepen the hug.

Just being in his arms again was the best feeling. I fell in love with him all over again at that moment, he is my reason for being and I would not want it any other way.

A/N: This one was longer than the Felix one (it does not mean I love Felix less 😬) but Its cute. Anyways, Im debating to either do Jasper or Caius next. I have a Jasper one in the drafts but its not that good, I will see who's next.

#the volturi #twilight saga #alec volturi x you #alec volturi x y/n #alec volturi #alec volturi x reader #volturi #twilight fanfiction #twilight imagine #alec volturi imagine #twilight renaissance #volturi fanfiction #volturi x reader #volturi guard #volturi imagines

159 notes · View notes

darylsfavoritegirl · 3 months

Text

hey pookies

Summary: Yall remember that episode where Daryl and Beth stay in this cabin after losing the prison (season 4, ep 12 to be exact) and thet play games like i have never.... and spend such a quality time and it's one of my fav episodes EVER! so it's fem!reader and Daryl but they play truth and dare and sort of open up about their feeling towards eachother because they're again friends with benefits lmao but it gets tense somehow👀😭😭 they find themselves in the midst of an argument etc etc and it goes on

This was requested by @duffmckagansbandana but ive also been fantasizing about this idea forever!! kalp kalbe karsiymis eheheheh

Warnings: Daryl being a dick because he is drunk and kinda slutshames the reader. Daryl grips the reader's wrists and it kinda hurts (?) a little bit of suggestive content. mentions of domestic violence/abuse

You held a glass of moonshine that Daryl found when you entered the wooden cabin. You were observing him securing the cabin incase something would occur.

"Looks secured enough to me." You mumbled spiritlessly. You took a sip of your moonshine as Daryl turned to you with a weary gaze.

"Ya really think dis the best time to get hammered?" He uttered in an evident blaséd tone. You ignored his question as he went back to securing the walls, windows. You wanted him to join you, drink booze with you, speak with you. The glass in your hand got warm before you could even consider to drink one more.

You observed his biceps flexing as he was fixing a hole on the wall. He was finally done. He turned to you, took a deep breath. You could see the sweat droplets on his forehead. His sleeveles black tshirt had damp spots around the neckline.

"You went the extra mile there." You said, failing to hide the waggish smirk bearing your face. He didn't respond to your statement but you saw the curls of his lips going upward.

He sat across you on the floor. His eyes were glossy, faint. You smiled softly as you poured him some moonshine. He gaped at you, anticipating you to stop. It was moonshine after all, God knows how long it had been sitting in this junk.

"Hey slow down." He uttered thinking you were gonna gulp down it yourself.

You saw his eyes following your motions when you passed the glass of moonshine to him.

"What? It's for you."

He didn't look at the glass once, his eyes were fixated on you

"Someone's got to keep watch." He spoke

You rolled your eyes in a cheeky way.

"No harm in drinking one glass."

"Go on." you added. Your eyes were pointing the dusty glass that was infront of him.

He gave in. He put the glass near his nostrils, sniffing the drink before taking a sip.

"That's a real drink right there." You said in a jolly tone.

" 's warm." He grumbled. He enjoyed drinking with you. The way you looked so content only made him cheer inside.

"Meh tha's a drawback." You said. You were popeyed. He couldn't deduce the basis of your zeal, yet he didn't question it furtherly.

You two spent a few minutes there, studying the cabin, studying each other when you decided to come up with something.

"You up for playing truth or dare?" You said in a hush that only left Daryl with a confounded face.

"What? Like kids?" He tittered lightly.

"You got a better idea?" You said with a significance of rebelliousness in your voice. You glared at him, waiting for a response.

"I'm worried about the others too but we can't spend this time just stressing one another." You muttered, avoiding an eye contact with him as you looked down at your drink and tapped the glass with your index and middle fingers. It was the reality. You were worried about the others, maybe even too much. However the best thing you could do at the moment was to hope for their well-being until you and Daryl started looking for them. He must've read your mind, he always did.

"Fine. Yea go first." He mouthed. Your mood shifted into a cheerful one by with just 4 words coming from him. You leaned forward slightly.

"Truth or dare." You queried. He leered at you in a gloomy way. You knew he was gonna end up savoring the game, one way or another in spite of feeling childhish at that moment.

"Truth.'' His tone barely above whisper.

You both took a sip from your drinks consecutively whilst you went on a ride in your head to come up with something to ask.

"What was your first impression about me?" You asked, not being able to hide the eagerness in your voice.

His eyes watched you cautiously. His gaze shifted somewhere else, trying to reckon the first day you met. A subtle smirk appeared on his face.

"Thought yea wer' cocky. Too cocky, even." He scoffed softly. You both stayed in quietude to remember the very first day you encountered with eachother. You chuckled.

"That was my coping mechanism. Confidence."

"Cocky." He opposed you in a childish manner, his eyebrows furrowed lightly at you.

You leered at him for a minute. You knew he was also thinking the first days when they took you in. You were drawing too much attention to yourself, pretty much everyone thought you'd be dead in a fortnight, though you didn't.

You sighed. Neither of you enjoyed thinking about any day in prison, it ached you in deep down. Neither of you could envision what your next move should be, spending this time in a wooden cabin in the middle of the woods didn't make it any better. You were in the midst of a chaos and it felt as if all your efforts were in the aim of lightening your agony.

Daryl reached for the moonshine jar that was sitting near you. He started pouring himself another drink. He almost filled the glass to the brim, peeking at you clandestinely incase you'd tried to stop him. You caught his leer and softly shrugged your shoulders indicating that you didn't mind.

He leaned against the wall of the cabin as he grunted. He took a big sip from his drink. You heard his gulp, the booze going down from his gullet. You couldn't help but chuckle at the sound, maybe you chuckled a little more than necessary. Gosh, you were getting lit; you thought to yourself.

Daryl guzzled up his second drink in less than a minute and poured himself another.

"Easy." You managed to say between your slowly-fading chuckles.

"And it's your turn." You hinted.

"Truth." You uttered without him having to ask.

He clattered an "Ahh." sound between his sips to imply he was notioning for a question. His eyes were locked on the ceiling, thinking, you glimpsed at his narrow, blue eyes. His gaze met with yours.

" 'S there sumthing ya didn't tell me 'bout the person ya wer'?" You looked dumbfounded, not catching what he could've meant by that. He must've read you like an open book. He scoffed " 'Fore all dis. 'Fore the world went to shit."

You couldn't fathom his question. He knew so much about you. He knew about your family that you stopped seeing after you moved to USA. He knew about your favorite childhood cartoons. He knew about your days as a school girl. He knew how you ended up in Georgia. He knew so much about you. Although he had never been the type to corner you with your life before the apocalpyse, you acknowledged that there must've been a lot of things you didn't tell him whether it was due to your choice or you never felt the need to do so.

"Yes." You said in cynicism. He remained silent. It was rather explicit that he wanted to investigate more; that he wanted you to elaborate.

Yet, you didn't. If he wanted to know more about you, he should've asked you more bluntly. You didn't avoid his piercing gaze. You could feel your nerves and brain going number with your increasing sips from the moonshine.

"I'm pretty sure there are atleast dozens of things I haven't told you about the person I once were."

He echoed a nonchalant glare. You, once again remained silent. You knew he'd always turn into an impossible and preposterous person to read whenever drunk. You questioned yourself. You questioned if this was a good idea after all.

He sighed. His eyes were narrower than before. He is getting wasted, you thought to yourself. You shifted your position wretchedly, grabbing your drink with both hands. You tried to put a constrained smile on your face.

The silence was unbearable so you spoke up. Your voice was raucity.

"So truth or dare?" You asked.

He gazed at you with a piercing look. You played the game not more than 5 minutes and the air had already started to feel stuffy due to intensity between you two. You couldn't understand why.

"Truth." He grunted involuntarily. He was only playing the game to pass time, to investigate and even corner you. His gaze was stern. Your smile faded away lightly. You thought of asking something private, asking something that was just about you two. Before you could even debate on that idea, you uttered

"Have you ever seen me as someone more than this?" You got hot. The alcohol was hitting you. You couldn't think clear, you spoke before giving it a second thought. You could feel your cheeks blushing. Your cheeks would never blush out of embarrassment nor humiliation. They would always blush when you did something extra, futile, stupid.

You didn't need to elaborate it. He knew exactly what you meant. He knew you had been wondering if he ever thought of you more than an appealing teammate whom he'd share a warm bed now and then. He had asked similiar questions to himself, always leaving them unsettled. He didn't want to give in, ever. He had to have a demenour where he wouldn't let anyone get too close. That was Daryl. Those were the obstacles he'd build towards anybody. You lifted your head only to meet his blue eyes. Daryl spoke the second he locked his eyes on yours.

"Ain't much of a world to keep your mind busy with that kinda stuff." He grunted. You got even hotter inside of your head.

"So, no?" You gawked.

"Didn't say dat." He looked at you with blank eyes. He didn't even get defensive whilst you were going nuts and trying your hardest to not make it plain. It was the intoxication. You were never like this. It was safe to say you did care about his feelings but you weren't a fool. You knew exactly how he'd close up, how well he'd hide in his shell.

"OK. It's your turn." You huffed as you darted away your eyes. Your temper highly depended on booze at the moment. You didn't need him to think that your mind was way too preoccupied with his words, the words that came out of his mouth with such ease. You hated the power he had on you sometimes.

He grunted with vexation as he shifted his position and leaned against the wall a bit more. Daryl rested his elbows on his knees, swinging his glass that had a little drink left in it in a motion. He kept eyeing you, so did you.

It was apparent that you both were bored to death, yet no one put forward the idea to stop it.

"Ya ever think 'bout the old world?" He grunted.

You raised your head, his eyes were squinting right at you.

"Didn't say truth." You hissed.

"Ya ain't gon' say dare neither."

"Right." You mumbled. He was biting on his pinky's nail out of lack of interest.

"Don't do that." You said as you grimaced.

"Ya gon' answer?" He insisted, his brows were slightly furrowed as he, not surprisingly, kept biting on his finger nails.

This game was all about you two finding something to bicker. You sighed. You were not looking at him but you could feel his eyes roaming all over you.

"Sometimes."

"Wish I could go back to those times." You whispered looking at the floor. Daryl's face darkened. You knew his life before the fall wasn't the greatest and perhaps this new world of silence, isolation was a jackpot for him. You caught his leer. Both of you remained in serenity.

You took a sip from the moonshine and asked the first thing that came to your mind.

"OK Daryl. Have you ever stolen something? like something big?" You begged with wide eyes. Only his eyes made you question yourself and your foolish question.

He kept swinging the glass in a slow motion as he narrowed his eyes at you. He wasn't offended. He wasn't angry.

"Ya know I didn't." He remarked. You sensed a sense of sorrow in his eyes yet you didn't step back, you never could when you were drunk.

"That's what you told me." You spoke, emphasizing the word "told" as if you were making it obvious that you didn't believe him. You kept your wide-eyed gaze. An undertone of exhilaration was on the surface of your voice.

"And after all, we barely knew eachother when we talked about this, right?" Stupid you, still couldn't make out what his gaze could've meant.

"Maybe you weren't being honest." You uttered.

"Come on. You must've done something with Merle." You insisted.

His gaze never left yours. You drank too much, you lost your basic human decency. Yet he responded spiritlessly.

"Was bein' honest." You could perceive that was the moment he lost all his interest in the game.

"Ain't no reason not to be, Merle was an ass."

He sighed. Great, now you reminded him his dead brother; at a time like this, in a place like this. Your smile and exhilaration vanished. Drunk you was never stable, you sighed as you looked down at your drink.

You lifted your head only to see him getting up, throwing his glass to the floor only for it to shatter in pieces. You flinched and leered at the pieces. You couldn't dare to look to his side. He grabbed his crossbow on the broken wooden table, slunged it over his shoulder.

"Imma take the first watch. Rest." He demanded. He breathed out before he left the cabin. You stayed there, not being able to move an inch. It was like you froze. You leered at the pieces of glass on the floor once again

"Fuck me." You groaned. You exhaled audibly, looking around the cabin. That was the moment when it hit you, he was drunk; way too drunk. God knows how he was holding up outside.

You immediatly got up, going out of kilter. You had been sitting for a long time, your body was cramping and you kept hitting to the dusty tables and chairs that were sitting in the middle of the cabin. Your head was spinning. You sauntered towards the door, grabbed the door handle. It made a squeaking sound that left you scrunching your nose.

"Come inside." You quaked, not looking at him. You were exhausted, maybe from the moonshine or maybe you were just, exhausted.

" 'm fine." He grunted. His back was facing you.

"Your drunk as much as me." You huffed with withered eyes. You were leaning against the door frame, your hand still gripping the door handle lightly.

Daryl scoffed.

"Your actin' like a child." You muttered under your breath. The alcohol was getting the best of you. His back was still facing you.

You leered at his messy hair, his vest, his arms gripping the crossbow. He was swaying in a slow motion, resting his weight on his right leg now and then.

"Just hate tha' ya still think 'm sum kinda redneck asshole." He muttered. He sounded rather disappointed, fed up with this whole situation.

"I don't." You whispered. Your eyes were wide, you couldn't process his words. He remained silent, typical Daryl.

"Daryl, I don't." You hissed as you grabbed the side of his vest, forcing him to face you.

He looked at your face with blank, stern eyes. You couldn't recognize the Daryl you knew in him. He didn't change his position, gripping the crossbow firmly as ever.

You were getting sentimental at his demenour. Your eyes were getting watery, you couldn't find words to utter. Nothing changed in him, in his cold stern stare that would make you hate yourself. He could never hurt you, that's what you told yourself but even a gaze of his could make you shatter inside. He got too close to you to a point where you could smell the booze from his breath. Deliberately, he rested all of his weight on you, cornering you against the door frame. You couldn't breath. He leered at your eyes with his blue piercing eyes for a hot minute when he spoke

"Ya'd be crumblin' 'n all if I spoke to ya 'bout your past." He hissed.

His glare was fixated on you as he got inside of the cabin. You breathed out quickly and wiped a tear that was to fall down on your cheek and looked at the woods.

"What the hell does that supposed to mean Daryl?" You turned to him. He was going through his backpack.

"Think ya kno' what I mean." He mumbled under his breath.

He grabbed a canned food and sat on the edge of small ladder. He wasn't looking at you but your gaze was at his fingers trying to get the canned food open.

"What if I don't?" You said calmly but at alert, waiting for his respond.

"I dun' kno'. Sellin' yer body for attention. Ring any bell?" He snapped, lifting his head to meet with your gaze. You stood there with complete silence, trying to process his words. His voice was pretty tall, which made you flinch.

"That's really low Daryl." You scoffed. You weren't offended, you were just astonished that he'd bring up your past as a barmaiden to hurt you.

"Right." He mocked. He was still on the small ladder, trying to open the canned food. He sighed as he threw it to the floor. He got up, completely ignoring you.

"Atleast I wasn't drifting behind Merle's ass, doing whatever he'd told me to do." You barked. You had lost yourself. You didn't care what your words would mean to him.

He turned to you, his arms flexing due to his firm grip on his crossbow. He got closer to you, his face was reddening. You could see his vein on his neck throbbing, he wasn't taking his eyes off of you. He clenched his jaw, lowering his eyebrows and leering at you with narrowed eyes.

" 'S tha' what'ca think?" He fumed.

"That's what I know." You uttered as you pout your face. You ran your hands through your hair to take a deep breath.

"Ya know nothing." He barked. He wasn't blinking.

"You were nothing." You whispered. Your eyes were getting red. You could feel them sting. Your vision blurred. Yet his rage was full of spitefullness. He gritted his teeth

"Pickin' up lonely dudes to get 'em pay ya was sumthin'?"

"Sumthin' yer dam' proud." He shouted as he pointed his index finger right at you.

You swallowed slowly. You were not looking at him.

"Just leave me be." You managed to mumble between your shaky, shallow breaths.

"No, I ain't gon' do dat." He boomed. He threw his crossbow on the mattres you two incompetently tried to turn into a cozy bed. He got closer to you, immediatly grabbing your wrists with his hands.

You looked at his hands grabbing both of your wrists quakingly. You weren't sorrowful nor furious. You were affronted at his grip on your wrists that left you in discomfort and almost, pain. You raised your head to meet with his hard-nosed gaze. You shook your forearms fiercely several times, hoping he would free you but he didn't. How could he do this do to you? Out of all the things out there, he chose to grip both your wrists. That was something you'd always highlight when you'd talk about the abuse you had to go through back when you lived with your family. How your father would grip your wrists and squeeze them thightly until you'd feel like passing out. You always told him how small it made you feel, how worthless. Didn't he say "What a dick" referring to your father. Now there he was, doing the exact same thing. You wouldn't believe it.

"Can't run yer mouth now, can yea?" He spat out. His voice was growing taller and taller. You tried to get to your other wrist with one hand only he would not let you;

"Daryl, you're hurting me." You panted, quickly exhaling. Your chest was going up and down rapidly, leaving you all panicked and crumbling under his brawny, firm grip. You looked directly into his eyes, looking for mercy; hoping this night would end without either one of you dying. His hard-nosed gaze not shifting into a softer manner at all.

You were still numb from the moonshine, so many thoughts pondering your head. You wanted to kiss him, end whatever this was. You were highly influenced by booze. You didn't care. You wanted to kiss him. You didn't know what the outcome would be.

So you did, you got on your tiptoes; your bodies were already too close. You closed your eyes and kissed him harshly on the lips. His grip on your wrists loosened, you almost toppled onto him which he didn't let it happen.

His strong hands grabbed the both sides of your face, pressing his lips onto yours like he pleaded for more of you. It all happened so swiftly that he shoved you on the wall harshly. He waited for a split second, his lips brushing yours. You could smell the pungent odour of alcohol mingled with the smell of cigarattes you smoked earlier that day. You didn't care. You wanted all of him. He panted rapidly against your lips. You stayed like that for a moment, his hands flawlessly placed on the temples of your head; the only thing you could hear was eachother's shaky breaths. You pressed your lips onto him once again. A tear that you had been holding so long fell down your cheek, you didn't mind. It was a joyful tear. You were both taking eachother breaths away that left your heart ponding like crazy. He rested all of his body weight on you, which you didn't complain this time. You could feel him growing under his jeans.

Your hands reached the collar of his vest and helped him take it off. You grabbed his bare shoulders and digged your fingernails into them. His hands shifted to your waist from the sides of your face. There was that void feeling in your stomach once again. How small you were compared to him, how you were like an insect which he could've crashed with his fingertips seconds ago.

You gasped when his hands went under your t-shirt, grabbing your hips and waist and stroking your skin. It became a sloppy kiss but you both liked it. Your whole body curved into his body, small moans escaping your mouth. He started going down on your neck from your plumpy lips. Your grabbed a fistful of his hair gently with your right hand, softly pushing his head down on your neck as he kept pecking on your soft skin.

You made up.

FOOTNOTE

Why is it actually so awkward do write even a basic kissing scene. it was painful. idk much about this fanfic it was way better in my mind but idc

@duffmckagansbandana deserves some credits too!! we exchanged so many thoughts during this :))

#daryl dixon #daryl dixon imagine #daryl dixon one shot #daryl fanfiction #the walking dead #the walking dead daryl #the walking dead fanfiction #twd daryl #twd imagine #daryl dixon angst #daryl dixon x reader #daryl dixon x you #daryl dixon x y/n #daryl dixon x female reader #daryl dixon gif #daryl dixon fanfiction #fanfic

149 notes · View notes

malertop · 2 months

Text

Poly! Billy Loomis x Stu Macher x Male Reader pt.2

Warnings?: in part 3

Notes?: English is not my first language if you guys don't know,so I am SUPER sorry if it's bad.

Roles: Powerbottom!Billy Loomis and Stu Macher x Sub!Top Male Reader

Kinks?: asshole being called boypussy,cunt,sloppy hole and more,fingering,handjob,blowjob,daddy kink,extreme sex,powerbottoms being extremely needy,eyes cross and roll will be mentioned, head roll and idk (some are for part 3)

The story in short: So let me get this quickly if you don't wanna read that,you were at Stu's party (not the killing one) and since they always left you alone after like just 10 minutes of hanging out with you you invited Randy for company,you have been ditching them sometimes for Randy and they tried to calm down and just forget about it but now that you are hanging out with him at Stu...YOUR BOYFRIEND party and ignoring Billy..WHO'S YOUR BOYFRIEND TOO they started getting really pissed about it,so they had a "little" talk with you and Randy and as their revenge for you ditching your boyfriends...WHO YOU TURNED GAY AND BI they needed to do and did an revenge on you..so you just took their little beautiful virginity,and they stole yours.

Gif:Not Mine.

"Hey guys what are you doing here all alone?" Randy got interrupted as he turned his head to look at who interrupted him,it was Billy and Stu who were walking towards them.You sighted as you saw them because you knew they would want something so you decided to ignore them as you looked back at Randy you already saw the two boys right beside him as Billy was opening new can of beer and Stu taking already a sip of his,as you quality told with your eyes to Randy to don't answer them which they saw because they looked at you when you did that which you didn't notice but Randy thought he should answer and said "Nothing we are just talking,or more Y/N but it's great to have a conversation with him" "Aw,thank you so much Randy..that was really nice and sweet" you answered with the sweet tone in your voice,but Billy and Stu just wanted to stab Randy until he dies,there was quite silence until Stu broke it "So...Randy ma men! Is it true that you still got a little thing for Sidney" Stu said as he smiled,You looked at Stu with his smile then you looked at Randy who was starting to sweat and then at Billy who just watched Randy with a death stare eyes,as you were about to speak up Randy answered "Y-Yeah...I mean...I guess..I..I do.." then Billy eyes winded and he took a look at Randy as he heard his answer, Stu did a giggle and laughed as he said "Did you really just admit it?In front of her boyfriend too!how can you be so pathetic,man you are so fucked up " and then you looked at Billy who was slowly approaching to meet Randy's face closer as he slowly moved "you know what else has a little thing for you..the door...so why don't you two meet and you get the.fuck.out" Billy siad slowly as he also threatened Randy,who now got up as you looked at him his body was all sweat and he didn't wanna leave you but he had no other choice "Y/N...I-i gotta go to the store but i completely forgot" he said as he was slowly leaving facing you "But-" as you were saying he ran off...there was a complete silence and you were the one to break it "why did y-" as you were saying Billy grabbed your arm and started started to lead you out of the kitchen,he was leading you upstairs as Stu was right behind you.He opened the door and as he entered he pushed you on the bed and he layed as Stu locked the door "Ow,what was that f-" as you were saying Billy pinned you against the bed and the wall and started kissing you right away,his kiss was slow but rought,your tounge met his as you two kissed and Stu was watching.Billy pulled away and then looked at his jeans because he felt something and he saw himself being turned on and then he slowly upped his head as looked at you again as you were breathing for some air but that quickly ended as Stu shoved his lips to meet yours

*After 20 minutes*

"Oh!Shit!Y-Y/N!~"Stu grunted as you were giving both of them hand jobs which they reached you just...well before 15 minutes to do,but Billy was silent as you were stroking both of the boys cocks,then Billy gasped "Oh!Oh shit!i am about to cum~" Billy said as he then grabbed male reader's arm to stop him,he was panting and then looked at the male reader and back at his arm as he slowly got an idea in his mind which made him smirk,Billy then looked again at male reader with his smirk and said "put your fingers inside me."

(Thank you for reading!if this hits 100 likes,reblogs or whatever I will do the last part,also I apologize for this being so short but i am writing this at school and yeah..HOPE Y'ALL ENJOY AND SEE YOU AT PART 3!)

#billy loomis #billy loomis x male reader #billy loomis x male reader x stu macher #ghostface x male reader #dom male reader #slashers x male reader #stu macher x male reader #poly! billy and stu x male reader #billy loomis x stu macher x male reader #stu macher #fanfic #fanfictions #male reader #scream x male reader #fyp #foryou #smut #foryourpage

118 notes · View notes

ineffable-endearments · 16 days

Text

Nineteen Eighty-Four by George Orwell

Wow. There is...there is so much here.

First, a caution about the book itself: there is significant sexually violent narration, and lots of torture as well. This post is going to discuss these topics only in general terms - I don't think I need to go into detail to discuss what they mean for the story - but take care of yourself when you're deciding whether to read it. If you have any questions, always feel free to send an ask or message.

I am going to need to make multiple posts about this book. For this first one, I'll focus on summarizing the book and its main themes, especially the ones that I think relate to Good Omens. As always, I can't summarize it in a way that will give you a better understanding than simply reading the book, but summarizing it will help me put my own thoughts together and hopefully help you follow along as I try to articulate them.

Because it's impossible to miss, I think it is best to confront this issue at the outset: there is a lot of especially blatant misogyny on Winston's part in Nineteen Eighty-Four. This is not meant to be a good or sympathetic thing. It is a demonstration of how messed up he is, and how messed up everyone in that society is.

The Society

The plot of Nineteen Eighty-Four is tied up very much in the story's world. The characters are at the mercy of their society in this story, much more than in most. It will make sense to describe the world first. Indeed, a massive portion of the book is just information about Oceania itself.

In the world of Nineteen Eighty-Four, the entire planet is supposedly ruled by three perpetually warring authoritarian states: Oceania, Eurasia, and Eastasia, conglomerations of Earth's former independent nations. Through the novel, it is revealed that all three states have governments that are structured in largely the same way with approximately the same quality of life for their people, and the perpetual war is itself a way of controlling each population.

Technically, we don't know for sure that the war is really happening. In fact, we don't know that anything is true, because almost all the information the characters have comes from the Party, the government of Oceania, and the Party's operations revolve around reality control. The Party's "leader" is an enigmatic figure referred to only as Big Brother, who, of course, is watching.

Our protagonist, Winston, lives in Oceania. There are Inner Party members, who are the highest-ranking, with the highest responsibility and the highest quality of life. There are Outer Party members, who work for the Party, are heavily surveilled, and whose daily needs are all provided for with low-quality supplies; they have a highly regimented daily schedule. Inner and Outer Party members have telescreens, which broadcast Party propaganda but also have cameras to monitor all Party members. It is incredibly difficult to get away from telescreens, since there's at least one in every home and they're everywhere in public. Altogether, the telescreens form a panopticon that is hard to evade.

Then there are the proles, a shortened term for proletarians, who are the lower classes of Oceania and make up the majority of the population. The proles live in poor conditions and are constantly manipulated by State-generated propaganda. However, they have more freedom than Party members, in the sense that they are also largely ignored by the Party because they have no real power and are assumed to be incapable of engaging in revolutionary behavior. For this reason, proles get to have human relationships and enjoy pleasures, wherever they can find pleasures, in ways that Party members are not allowed. In reality, the Party's perpetual war is a way of grinding through resources in order to keep people, especially the proles, buried under work without improving their quality of life. This is because when people have free time, they can use it to learn and organize, and they might become a threat to the Party.

Winston is one of the Outer Party members. He works in the government department that rewrites history. See, every time a fact or anecdote in the media is inconvenient for the Party, the Party goes back and destroys all old copies of newspapers and books, all old video content, all paperwork, any scrap of evidence that anything was different. Newspapers are routinely reprinted with "updated" (falsified) information. For example, Oceania is always either at war with Eurasia and allied with Eastasia, or at war with Eastasia and allied with Eurasia, and as far as the Party is concerned, this has never changed. Every single time Oceania's alliance changes, the newspapers are updated so that the current alignment has always been true. Every time someone becomes a disgrace to the Party, their previous deeds are rewritten.

On the surface, this sounds difficult to implement, but over the story, one realizes the vast majority of the Party's operations revolve purely around the constant reshaping of history, control of people's memories, and control of people's emotions for the purpose of maintaining power eternally. Art produced by human beings is actively discouraged; instead, the Party mass-produces art, including novels, using machines, to control what kinds of ideas people are consuming.

The Party is essentially a machine that controls reality, or at least, what the people inside it consider to be reality. There are people who specialize in managing the thoughts of the public: the Thought Police. While they may technically not be able to literally see inside one's mind, they watch everyone carefully and are excellent at noticing everything: every facial expression, every eyebrow twitch, and every breath.

The Party rules through a series of four "ministries." These are the Ministry of Truth (like an educational ministry, responsible for producing propaganda), the Ministry of Peace (like a military, responsible for warfare), the Ministry of Love (like the correctional system, responsible for jailing and torturing dissidents), and the Ministry of Plenty (like the treasury, responsible for rationing).

When it suits the Party, anyone can be "vaporized." This means they are secretly murdered and all evidence of them - any existing record whatsoever, any news story, any list or database entry - is erased.

The Party has a new language they're developing as a method of thought control called Newspeak. The purpose of Newspeak is to make it impossible to articulate certain kinds of thoughts. The following is a character named Syme describing Newspeak:

"Don't you see that the whole aim of Newspeak is to narrow the range of thought? In the end we shall make thoughtcrime literally impossible, because there will be no words in which to express it. ... In fact there will be no thought, as we understand it now. Orthodoxy means not thinking - not needing to think. Orthodoxy is unconsciousness."

It's worth noting that Syme is later vaporized, presumably just for being too insightful out loud about Newspeak. In Newspeak, people who have been vaporized, if they must ever be referred to at all, are called "unpersons." In this way, no one has ever been killed by the Party, because those people have never existed in the first place.

There's a key Newspeak word that appears over and over: doublethink. It's the ability to believe two contradictory things simultaneously, and unlike the way we usually experience cognitive dissonance, there is no urge or attempt to reconcile what is really true. With doublethink, the existence of two contradictory ideas at once is itself exploited to help Party members serve the Party.

The Party (and its equivalents in Eurasia and Eastasia) uses perpetual war to control the population by squandering the resources produced by human labor and keep people in a perpetual combination of patriotic fervor and fear. The war is infinite and can never be won; the whole purpose of the war is to be at war.

Socially, the Party has destroyed family life. Winston was married years ago. He and his wife are so estranged that he is no longer sure if she is alive. They did not have a good relationship. The Party does not want close emotional relationships between its members, so while they are strict about who is allowed to marry (not for love, strictly for procreation), they don't care if people continue to live together. However, the Party does not want people forming new relationships, so divorce and extramarital sex are also illegal. The Party has also turned children against their parents by encouraging children to report their parents' potential thoughtcrimes. All in all, family members are generally afraid of each other.

We see, over and over again, how the Party does its best to frame human beings as both inherently untrustworthy and as objects to be used. Pitting people from individual family members to entire classes, sexes, and races against each other is one of the Party's many techniques for controlling people, and it has seeped into Winston's everyday thought processes. Only actual experiences with other human beings even begin to break these ideas down.

Eventually, it becomes apparent that the Party's motivation is immortality through the denial of the individual. Human beings are denied their own personal thoughts, feelings, and bodies. Only their ability to be assimilated into the Party is permitted. Even thoughts and feelings about the greater good are unacceptable because these lead to regime changes and interfere with the raw totalitarian power of the Party. Every Party member in Oceania is meant to strive exclusively for the continued power of the Party. Dissidents are denied even the ability to be martyrs, because the Party does not kill people while they carry hatred for Big Brother; they simply change their thoughts until they are good Party members again, and then kill them later, when they are no longer dissidents and have no legacy of resistance to leave behind.

Winston's Plot

Winston has a secret desire to be free of the Party. He does get swept up in the Party's fervor when he's in the middle of it, but he also longs for the extremely basic pleasures and freedoms that have become taboo. For example, Winston secretly buys an old pen and journal to write in - a completely forbidden act that he has to conceal from the telescreen in his own apartment. He finds himself almost unconsciously writing things like "DOWN WITH BIG BROTHER" in that journal.

There is an Inner Party member named O'Brien who Winston admires greatly from a distance despite knowing only his appearance: "intelligent" with a "prizefighter's physique." Winston perceives that he and O'Brien "understand" each other somehow, and even believes O'Brien has spoken to him in a dream, saying they "shall meet where there is no darkness." Eventually, Winston imagines he is addressing his journal to the mysterious O'Brien, believing him to be an ally.

Winston has an acquaintance at work named Syme. Syme is very passionate about revising the Newspeak dictionary. However, he is a little too openly insightful about the true purpose of Newspeak for his own good. Even though Syme does not seem to have any intention of betraying the Party and in fact is extremely taken with Newspeak, Winston is convinced he will be vaporized, and sure enough, he is.

There is a woman Winston thinks he hates because she looks like the perfect Party member who would turn him in to the Thought Police. Actually, the narration outright states that he doesn't like women entirely, because he thinks they're too committed to the Party and enjoy betraying men. However, it turns out that this woman observes Winston by the shop where he bought his illegal notebook. By simply observing Winston in that shop, the Party would suspect he's committing thoughtcrimes, and Winston panics. However, the woman later bumps into Winston at work and passes him a note that says, "I love you." Winston then instantly decides he wants to be with her; the idea of not being with her never even occurs to him.

The woman's name is Julia. It turns out Julia is putting on an incredibly convincing act, but she hates the Party, too. Winston is technically married, so he can't legally marry Julia, and any kind of non-procreative sex is illegal anyway, so their relationship is entirely forbidden.

Winston and Julia meet up and have sex in secret. It's worth noting that during their first meeting, they enjoy listening to a thrush singing. During this first meeting, they go out to the countryside, where there are fewer telescreens and microphones; Winston comments that it's like the "Golden Country," his symbolic dream-place where people are free.

A man named Mr. Charrington owns the shop where Winston had bought his notebook, and he also owns a room for rent above the shop. It's an old-fashioned prole room without telescreens and with a great number of old-fashioned fixtures. Winston and Julia rent it to get away from Party life for a few hours every now and then. When they first start staying in the room, Julia observes a rat and throws her shoe at it. Winston is utterly terrified, showing that he has a serious phobia of rats; it is vaguely implied that he had a traumatic moment related to them as a child. Julia takes the rat in stride; they are everywhere. She promises to block up the hole so the rat does not return.

Julia and Winston spend time in their prole room knowing for sure that it will eventually lead to their capture, torture, and death, but they decide it will be worth it. Winston voices some interest in trying to work against the Party; Julia does not believe this is possible whatsoever, and is not interested in trying. She believes people are better off putting on a convincing act and getting away with as much as they can for as long as they can.

Meanwhile, during the workday, O'Brien speaks to Winston. He mentions Syme without using his name, which is incredibly unusual, since people who are vaporized are never ever acknowledged again; all their work is erased from history. But O'Brien mentions Syme's work on the Newspeak dictionary and gives Winston his home address so that Winston can borrow the dictionary. Party members also don't often give each other their addresses. Because of these unusual cues, Winston infers that O'Brien is inviting him over to conspire against the Party.

While Winston and Julia meet up and have sex, they also indulge in other pleasures of the world, like real coffee and chocolate, and proles singing outside their window, and art that hasn't been generated by the Party. Observing the proles and their richer emotional lives, Winston and Julia decide they are going to worry only about their feelings. The Party can coerce them to do anything, including to confess, but as long as the Party can't make them stop loving each other, they agree, they will never have betrayed each other. Julia says that for all the things the Party can do, they can't get inside their heads.

So seized are Winston and Julia by their conviction that they decide to go visit O'Brien together and confess to wanting to destroy the Party. O'Brien tells them they may join the Brotherhood, a mysterious group of dissidents working to bring down Big Brother, but they must be willing to sacrifice everything; they must be willing to not only suffer and die, but to murder civilians, to spread disease, to sow discord, to do anything the Brotherhood asks of them. They even, O'Brien says, must be willing to "separate and never see one another again." This is the only thing Julia and Winston are unwilling to agree to. O'Brien accepts them anyway and, many days later, gives Winston a book through a secret messenger.

This book contains the writings of Goldstein, the supposed leader of the Brotherhood, outlining the Party's core philosophy. Winston reads this to Julia, who is hinted to not be all that interested, but she does listen a little.

While they look out the window and contemplate that the proles are alive and the Party members are already dead, Winston and Julia are captured. It turns out Mr. Charrington was a member of the Thought Police and the room had surveillance in it. Winston and Julia are separated and dragged to the Ministry of Love.

While at the Ministry of Love, Winston spends a lot of time waiting, watching other prisoners pass through. Some of them are proles, and some of them are people he knows. The waiting room is enormous and brightly lit with telescreens on all walls. There are essentially no shadows.

Another familiar face appears at the Ministry of Love. It's O'Brien. Winston first thinks O'Brien has been captured, but it soon becomes apparent that O'Brien was masterminding this whole operation and is in charge of Winston's torture. They have, indeed, met "where there is no darkness" - because of all the telescreens and artificial lighting. O'Brien and other Party members even wrote Goldstein's book as yet another propaganda piece. O'Brien states the description of the Party in the book is true, although the book's implication that the Party can be defeated through a prole uprising is false because a prole uprising will never happen. (Note that Winston did not actually read the part of the book where "Goldstein" outlined how the Party should be defeated.)

Winston is tortured for an undetermined amount of time. He discovers that he is a prisoner of his body; his torturers can get him to say pretty much anything through punishment and reward. In fact, they can force him to feel certain ways, too. O'Brien and the Party aren't only trying to get Winston to give away information; they want him to really internalize sincere belief in the Party doctrine, like doublethink, symbolized by the concept that 2+2 equals 5.

Winston starts out promising to himself there are certain things he will never agree to or say out loud, but torture proves an effective method at getting him to say whatever O'Brien wants. Winston vows that he will recite the Party lines, but will not actually believe them. If he lies to get the torture to stop but still retains his ability to reason for himself, Winston believes, then he can beat the Party.

However, O'Brien and the torturers are slowly able to break that down, too, as they are good at reading Winston's emotions, and they torture him every time he recites their desired lines without the sincere belief they're looking for. Winston is highly resistant to the 2+2=5 idea, but as he is tortured over and over, he does come to believe that because the Party can define his reality through brute force, then 2+2=5 could very well be true. They can force it to be true. He has no choice but to believe it, because only believing it might possibly end his torture, and the torture must end.

In other words, Winston and Julia were wrong. The Party can, in fact, get inside your head.

When Winston starts to believe 2+2=5, O'Brien does indeed start to improve his treatment of Winston, providing him with food and comfort, allowing Winston to become much healthier over time. This bonds Winston to O'Brien and makes him feel attached. However, Winston has not forgotten Julia, and in an unguarded moment, he cries out for her. This prompts O'Brien to ask Winston his feelings, again, about Big Brother. Winston states that he hates Big Brother.

It is at this moment when O'Brien sends Winston to the notorious Room 101.

In Room 101, prisoners face their worst fears - which, of course, the Party knows, because they know everything about everyone. Winston, who we know has a phobia of rats, is shown a pair of cages with starving rats in them. He is told that the rats are, as everyone in this world knows, flesh-eaters, despite being rodents. Winston is restrained, his head held in place, and O'Brien informs him that the rats will be released to eat his face.

Winston realizes what O'Brien wants to hear: he realizes his torturers will probably not allow the rats to eat him if he is willing to inflict the torture on Julia instead. They want Winston's betrayal of Julia to be complete. They want him to stop caring for her, the one thing he and Julia had once agreed they would never, ever do. And Winston has reached his limit: he cannot tolerate the idea of being eaten alive specifically by rats. So Winston says, "Do it to Julia! Not me! Julia!"

And then he is finally let go.

We continue with Winston once again living on the outside. He has seen and spoken to Julia, who was also let go. But the bond between them is completely broken. Julia admits she also betrayed Winston when she was faced with Room 101.

"Sometimes," she said, "they threaten you with something---something you can't stand up to, can't even think about. And then you say, 'Don't do it to me, do it to somebody else, do it to so-and-so.' And perhaps you might pretend, afterwards, that it was only a trick and that you just said it to make them stop and didn't really mean it. But that isn't true. At the time when it happens you do mean it. You think there's no other way of saving yourself, and you're quite ready to save yourself that way. You want it to happen to the other person. You don't give a damn what they suffer. All you care about is yourself." "All you care about is yourself," he echoed. "And after that, you don't feel the same toward the other person any longer." "No," he said, "you don't feel the same."

In other words, by demonstrating to Winston and Julia that they ultimately cannot escape their own self-interest, O'Brien has caused them to reject each other.

At the tail end of the book, Winston is sitting in his usual spot at a place called the Chestnut Tree Café, pondering a happy moment from his childhood before pushing the memory away, believing it to be a false memory. When an enormous military victory is announced on the telescreen, Winston realizes that he finally, truly loves Big Brother.

Interpretation of the End

Although the events at the end of the book are pretty straightforwardly described, I found them slightly confusing on an emotional level. Winston and Julia aren't really angry at each other for their betrayals, it doesn't seem - in fact, they admit to each other that's what happened, and they agree on their mutual experience. But they don't love each other anymore, and Winston loves Big Brother instead.

So, here is my initial thought on what the characters went through:

For people to love each other, both need a sense of individuality. There needs to be a connection, but there also needs to be a specific You and a Somebody to love, to connect to.

Through torture, O'Brien has effectively torn away Winston's individual sense of self. I know that's a weird thing to suggest when the book repeats "all you care about is yourself" multiple times, but I think that by so completely obliterating Winston's ability to make anything resembling his own decision, O'Brien has essentially made "Big Brother" and "Winston ('yourself')" the same person. Big Brother's wishes are Winston's wishes. Winston has been assimilated into Big Brother. Winston and Julia's conversation at the end describes what it feels like to be liquidated as a person and assimilated into a collective.

Winston now knows that the one core impulse he can never escape is self-preservation, and the only one who can provide that, with infinite military might and an infinitely-deep torture repertoire, is Big Brother. Julia represents the ideal that caused Winston to estrange himself from the safety of embracing and trusting Big Brother. And because Big Brother is both eternal and almighty, giver of both life and death, he is the only one it is safe to trust.

By betraying Julia, Winston discovered that his own will inherently had limits; because he would always, eventually, revert to self-preservation, his will and therefore his identity became synonymous with the force that decided whether to preserve him. That's why the end of the novel involves Winston imagining that he has finally been shot in the head and killed; he has experienced the death of his sense of self. And this is exactly how "Goldstein's" book indicated the Party's operations work: eliminate individuals and assimilate them into a collective to achieve immortality.

Character and Faction Parallels Between Nineteen Eighty-Four and Good Omens

The Party and Heaven and Hell

They're both the one overarching power over everyone's existence. The inner workings of it are mysterious to the characters and even moreso to the audience. The main characters are agents working for these entities, and they are controlled through surveillance, punishment, and reward.

Although Heaven and Hell give the impression of being two large overarching powers, it seems apparent to me that the whole thing is really just one system that has intentionally split its workforce into factions. Ultimately I think we will see in the most explicit way possible that whoever is actively calling the shots in Heaven is also actively in charge of Hell.

Winston and Julia, Aziraphale and Crowley

Both pairs are agents who are in love with each other even though they're not supposed to be, who enjoy Earthly pleasures and experience the joys of humanity before getting arrested and dragged away by their authoritarian "employers."

It's tempting to try and figure out which character mirrors which - Aziraphale mirroring Winston, Crowley mirroring Julia? - but I think, sort of like with Nina and Maggie, the reflections work in every direction. The characters aren't literal stand-ins for each other, but they are exploring similar themes, including what happens to people when a society forbids intimacy.

O'Brien and the Metatron

"More even than of strength, he gave an impression of confidence and of an understanding tinged by irony." This line describes O'Brien from Nineteen Eighty-Four, but it sounds quite a lot like the Metatron's manner as he enters Aziraphale's bookshop. Confidence and an understanding tinged by irony indeed.

O'Brien seems to appeal to Winston's ideal in authority figures, appealing both intelligent and physically strong. The Metatron seems to have tailored himself to appeal to Aziraphale's ideal of an authority figure: someone who is calm and in control, but also has an exceptionally gentle manner (and this isn't really true of the Metatron, but he can make it look like it is).

There are more similarities. Winston thinks and hopes O'Brien will be a helpful figure, and O'Brien convinces Winston he's a helpful figure, but in the end, O'Brien is the mastermind behind Winston's capture and torture. Additionally, Winston assumes, during his torture, that the Party's drive for power is for the Greater Good. But O'Brien tells him this is stupid, and the Party's drive for power is just for the pure sake of having power, because that's the only thing that will guarantee the Party's immortality.

This reminds me a little bit of the Metatron telling Aziraphale the point of the war is to win it, not to avoid it. It also hits me as a potential motivation for Heaven - like, why do they do what they do instead of doing something else, since the universe seems perfectly capable of running itself? "Power" or "immortality" could be a reason, and it would also be a reason that would resonate with very human themes, since power and (symbolic) immortality are among the motivations that can drive real-life authoritarians.

The Proles and Humanity

The common people. The populations who are considered by the main characters' societies to be "beneath" them, but who the main characters become fascinated by, and whose lifestyles the main characters come to prefer.

Both Nineteen Eighty-Four and Good Omens contain in their narratives the notion that the prole or human way of life is where true meaning can be experienced. Winston and Julia go as far as to announce that proles are alive and Party members are dead. And at the end of Good Omens Season 1, Aziraphale outright tells Adam that being "human incarnate" is better than being Heaven or Hell incarnate.

This mirror is probably the one that brings up the richest speculation possibilities for me. I won't go in-depth here, but I see in both stories the main characters developing this love for the proles and humans while continuing to separate from them - even trying to turn around and exploit the very power structures that have oppressed them in an effort to fight against the oppression.

It's worth noting that in Nineteen Eighty-Four, Mr. Charrington, the man who Winston and Julia rented their secret love nest from, and whom they thought was a prole, was actually a member of the Thought Police who helped capture them, whereas in Good Omens, so far, the humans have just been humans, and while Adam Young started out as an incredibly powerful non-human, he later chose to be a human and used his power to reject authoritarianism.

The Themes

Authoritarianism and Power

Obviously, the whole overarching cautionary tale in Nineteen Eighty-Four is about authoritarianism and the insidious ways it affects populations. The Party's power is almost as absolute as it can possibly be. Big Brother really is almost always watching; there is almost always a telescreen somewhere nearby. Even when there isn't a telescreen, there are microphones. And unorthodox ideas and behavior are punished with annihilation - not just death, but the total annihilation of the self.

Doesn't this sound like a version of Heaven and Hell in Good Omens?

At first glance, it appears Oceania's Party is more aggressive about surveilling its Party members than Heaven and Hell are about surveilling Aziraphale and Crowley. One has to wonder if perhaps Heaven and Hell are just as aggressive with surveillance in the Upstairs and Downstairs themselves, but are less aggressive or maybe even less capable on Earth, just like the Party's surveillance is less in the countryside (although it is still a significant threat there).

But still, we see Michael pull out those photos of Crowley and Aziraphale through the ages, and we hear the Metatron refer to reviewing Aziraphale's "exploits," and we see Hell drag Crowley down in 1827, and we see both Crowley and Aziraphale anxiously glancing around throughout history with the assumption that someone might be listening, and we see how ready Heaven is to erase Gabriel's memories (his identity! his entire self!) from existence. We also watch Heaven and Hell try to make Aziraphale and Crowley disappear in a gout of hellfire and a tub of holy water after realizing that Aziraphale and Crowley do represent a threat to the current celestial order. Heaven and Hell's Nineteen Eighty-Four-esque insidious threat is clearly established in both seasons.

Vaporizing Dissidents

In fact, Heaven and Hell's arrest of Aziraphale and Crowley reminds me a bit of Winston and Julia's arrest, in the sense that the protagonists knew what was probably coming but not exactly when. And Heaven's attempted execution of Aziraphale in particular reminds me very much of the Party choosing to vaporize a dissident. They were going to try to disappear him. No angel or demon other than the ones who were involved would have known what happened to him. Hell's attempted execution of Crowley, meanwhile, reminds me of the Party's public executions of war prisoners.

Finally, the Party will attempt to erase people from existence by killing them and then erasing all records related to them, down to the very last detail. Meanwhile, the Archangel Michael threatens Aziraphale with being literally written out of existence in the Book of Life. There's lots of speculation about how possible this is. I wonder if maybe, it's a flawed process. Maybe erasing someone from the Book of Life can cut a hole shaped like them in the universe - but maybe it isn't that simple, and they don't actually get taken from anyone else's memories. Maybe, as people in Oceania haven't quite lost the ability to remember their dead, Heaven cannot actually erase the fact of anyone.

Social Disconnection

I see a lot of complaints online about the characters of Nineteen Eighty-Four being impossible to like. What tends to make characters likable? Their behaviors toward others, especially humor, compassion, individual quirks, and affection. Their moral strengths, like a sense of justice, might appeal to us, too. And what has the Party been systematically beating out of people for decades now? Anything that could possibly make fictional characters likable.

One of the Party's primary modes of social control is to keep people from having individual, intimate relationships outside of the Party. Each individual regards every other individual with distrust at all times, and only the Party is capable of providing safety. Winston mentions many instances in which he believes parents are afraid of their children, for example. There are also a number of people who he thinks would report him for thoughtcrimes.

This is getting into heavy speculation territory, but it hits me as a major motivation for the Fall in the first place. It's a great way to instantly divide Heaven itself in half, make everyone instantly suspicious of everyone else, and set up a whole bunch of rewards and punishments to hold over people's heads related to Falling.

One thing that's obvious, though, is the total lack of social connection in Heaven. Michael and Uriel are constantly treating each other with barely-suppressed contempt. Muriel wants approval so badly, but nobody has any patience for them. The "friendliest" any angels get are Gabriel and Sandalphon in Season 1, and that's still like, corporate-coworkers-style friendliness. Gabriel outright tells Beelzebub that no one has ever given him anything. Although it's...theoretically possible Gabriel is an outlier, I think his experience is probably representative of all the angels.

Bodily Experiences, Physicality, Gross Matter

There is a moment that made a big impression on me. Winston observes a prole woman outside singing a silly popular song at the top of her lungs as she works. This woman is not an attractive person by Winston's or Party standards; she is older, she is fat, she has a "lower-class" accent, her skin is weathered and reddened from working outside. But Winston, self-admitted misogynist who came of age on the Party's feminine ideal, thinks she is beautiful. He has a moment of realization that she's beautiful because the very things that theoretically would make her "unattractive" are evidence of a human life fully lived.

We also have Winston and Julia enjoying the world through their senses together in a way that they simply cannot in the grips of the Party. From listening to a thrush in the countryside to drinking real, delicious coffee, they experience pleasures that are denied to them and cause them to feel peaceful in a way that is denied to Outer Party members. As they experience life in a way that is much closer to the ways of the proles, they decide that only proles are alive; Party members are dead. It is at the moment when they speak this out loud that the Party chooses to capture them.

There's a darker side to the bodily experiences explored in Nineteen Eighty-Four, and that's experienced in the Ministry of Love. Here, Winston and Julia discover that their thoughts and feelings are indeed controlled by their bodies. There is only so much pain a human being can withstand before they will comply with their captors just to get the torture to stop. In fact, if the Party's psychological manipulation tactics haven't worked thus far to indoctrinate the population, then the body can be used to brute-force an attitude change.

The connection to Good Omens here is obvious. Aziraphale and Crowley are just like a couple of Outer Party members who haven't experienced real pleasure before, and then they discover wine and ox ribs and music and nice clothes and all those delightful human experiences that the other angels sneer at. It seems Heaven looks down on Earthly pleasure as a morally inferior, dirty pursuit, while Hell looks on Earthly pleasure as a kind of weakness, a pathetic softness. But Earth is where Aziraphale and Crowley have found meaning. Physical existence is where they've found themselves, where they've connected with each other, and where they've connected with the stuff of the universe itself.

Memory Manipulation and Thought Policing

In Nineteen Eighty-Four, there are massive governmental departments dedicated to revising all printed records, including reprinting newspapers as needed. Private writing is also not allowed. This means that even if a Party member has a memory, there is no physical evidence of it. Even if there were physical evidence, something a person had stuffed away in a safe place, there would be another, more "official" source to prove one's personal source wrong. Of course, anyone trying to make any kind of fuss about official sources being wrong would disappear, too, so no one will even try.

Winston mentions often in his narration that he has trouble remembering large portions of his life because of the way the Party has controlled the public narrative and obscured any fact that would once have been a point of reference for him. For example, Winston estimates that the date his journal starts would be April 4, 1984, but he actually isn't certain, not even about the year, because time isn't kept track of by those dates anymore. Historical facts, like events that led to the Party's ascent to power, have been rewritten so many times that Winston can no longer know what really happened. He can be sure there was chaos in the streets, followed by violence, and then proclamations from above about what was supposedly true, but one individual human being usually can't judge the big picture of what's going on in their entire society without a relatively objective source of information for major events.

Nineteen Eighty-Four also has literal thought police, Party members who study their fellow citizens for any sign of even the most remote disagreement with Party doctrine. If someone proves to be a problematic thinker, as Winston and Julia both did, they are dragged to the Ministry of Love to be violently re-educated. Using a series of punishments and rewards, prisoners are slowly broken down until they are unable to think for themselves at all.

Although it's unclear what Heaven is like in regards to spreading information, we've got the Metatron and the Archangels literally ready to erase Gabriel's memory. In Good Omens, since it's all dressed up in Heavenly attire and the characters have their unique attitudes, it comes across as less dystopian, more quirky and fantastical. But they are fundamentally threatening exactly what is done in Nineteen Eighty-Four. And based on Beelzebub's comment about how Gabriel's memory is "all your...you," the same identity issues would be at play. To erase Gabriel's memories would be to erase everything that makes Gabriel himself - an execution by another name.

Reality As A Construct (Or Not)

The Party's stance on reality is fairly simple: human beings perceive reality, so if human perception can be altered, reality can be changed and turned into whatever the Party wants it to be. This sounds wrong because it is wrong, but people who the Party has targeted for thought control don't get to think for themselves about it, because they can't withstand the torture.

This might be Heaven's approach to reality as well. Look at how questioning is discouraged, and how the angels choose to believe whatever is most convenient for Heaven, or whatever they believe should be true ("there are no back channels").

More importantly, though, we have characters in Good Omens who actually can change reality. In particular, this is what Adam Young does - and what he actively chooses not to do for the majority of the world, in the end. He only adjusts reality enough to be allowed to make his own decision: he's not the Antichrist anymore. Otherwise, he restores the world to its state from before he ascended to power (aside from a couple of tiny little eleven-year-old-boy-ish tweaks here and there; hey, you can't blame a kid for adding a few extras of his favorite books to the world).

Proles as the saviors of society

So this one is complicated because repeatedly through Nineteen Eighty-Four, we come across this feeling from WInston and Julia that the proles have some almost mystical connection to True Humanity which Party members have lost. However, there is also the repeated assumption that the proles are incapable of revolution on their own. And in a practical sense, this appears to be true. The intellectuals of their world look down on them for it, but the truth is that just as in real life, the proles are living in poverty and are far too desperate for their basic necessities to ever gain the class consciousness needed to overthrow the Party. This is, of course, by design.

Winston goes as far as to believe the proles might possibly rise up and overthrow the Party, but he never considers working with them. He goes straight into the jaws of the Inner Party instead! This seems to be for a couple of reasons, but primarily because Winston has formed this sort of attachment to O'Brien, his Inner Party member of choice.

In Good Omens, Season 1 and the book, humans do eventually save the world. Well, Adam - technically an Antichrist - saves the world by thinking like a human and accepting humanity as his true "side."

Free Will

"Free will" as a theme really ties into humanity as a theme in Good Omens, since Earth is neutral ground between Heaven and Hell and humans aren't born to a particular Side. In Nineteen Eighty-Four, of course, the Party's goal is to eliminate free will, while in Good Omens, Heaven and Hell are looking to eliminate humanity.

Individualism Versus Collectivism

Oh there it is! There's my pet theme!

I've always argued that in Good Omens, the core of the dualism explored between Aziraphale and Crowley is individualism and collectivism, with Crowley the dedicated individualist who nonetheless would like to belong somewhere, and Aziraphale the nervous collectivist who is secretly desperate to have an identity and belongings to himself. Good Omens has already touched on the notion that working together as a collective is necessary to keep the world turning, but it's also important to preserve individuality, so we have people to keep us company and meaning to live for. I think this will come up again.

Meanwhile, Nineteen Eighty-Four explores an authoritarian and destructive form of collectivism in which human beings are not allowed to have individual interests or experiences; everything flows toward the power of the Party. Individual identity is viewed as a weakness. With that said, Nineteen Eighty-Four does consider the potential power of collectives to overcome authoritarianism.

Mortality, Immortality, and Change

In Nineteen Eighty-Four, O'Brien eventually reveals that the goal of the Party is to become immortal through collectivism. While the fate of an individual human being is always to die, the Party believes a collective that is single-minded enough about maintaining power can live forever. In that way, people who submit to the Party's power can live forever, too. One has to wonder about the real point of all this, of course. The Party regards change as its downfall. For the Party to succeed, it must keep everyone moving toward the exact same goal of maintaining power forever.

In Good Omens, many of the characters are naturally immortal, as angels or demons. They don't have to change, and Heaven and Hell don't have to change. However, existing as immortals in Heaven or Hell, not experiencing any of the things mortals do in the physical world, all seems pretty obviously pointless. Aziraphale and Crowley, and then Gabriel and Beelzebub, and then Muriel, all start to find meaning on Earth among mortals. And I think this is all yet to be expanded upon, especially with the looming Second Coming.

Where Good Omens is concerned, the notion of change as a type of death and/or death as a type of change may be important (and ties into The Crow Road by Iain Banks as well).

By coming to Earth, the immortal characters are essentially doing the reverse of assimilating with the Party or Heaven and Hell: they're discovering themselves. With self-discovery comes the risk of change - changing from who they used to be in Heaven or Hell - and the reward of meaning.

The Party of Oceania wants to assimilate everyone into the same goal of maintaining the Party's power in order to make the Party immortal. While "maintaining power" is a "purpose" of sorts for the collective, on an individual level for any specific human being, it is nihilistic, since there is no place for the individual other than ensuring the success of the Party's destruction of the individual.

Freedom in the Natural World

In both stories, we've got the notion of nature as a place of freedom. The countryside where Winston and Julia first meet up lacks telescreens, and there are fewer microphones as well, allowing them to act naturally in a way that isn't usually permitted in the city. The room that Winston and Julia rent from Mr. Charrington is also so old-fashioned that it doesn't have a telescreen; they believe themselves to be momentarily safe in their own little world there. Unfortunately, Mr. Charrington is not really an ordinary prole, but a member of the Thought Police, which allows the Party to invade Winston's and Julia's space.

Of course, in Good Omens, Earth is the ultimate place of freedom. Heaven and Hell are both awful in their ways, hyper-controlled and devoid of real meaning. It's on Earth that Aziraphale and Crowley can begin to truly live. Of course, the safe little place they create together, the bookshop, is eventually invaded by Heaven and Hell.

I'd like to leave you with a pair of quotations.

"If you want a picture of the future, imagine a boot stamping on a human face---forever. ... And remember that it is forever. The face will always be there to be stamped upon. The heretic, the enemy of society, will always be there, so that he can be defeated and humiliated over again. Everything that you have undergone since you have been in our hands---all that will continue, and worse. The espionage, the betrayals, the arrests, the tortures, the executions, the disappearances will never cease." O'Brien Nineteen Eighty-Four by George Orwell Part Three, Chapter III

"If you want to imagine the future, imagine a boy and his dog and his friends. And a summer that never ends. If you want to imagine the future, imagine a boot . . . no, imagine a sneaker, laces trailing, kicking a pebble; imagine a stick, to poke at interesting things, and throw for a dog that may or may not decide to retrieve it; imagine a tuneless whistle, pounding some luckless popular song into insensibility; imagine a figure, half angel, half devil, all human . . . Slouching hopefully towards Tadfield. . . . . . . forever. Good Omens by Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett

#good omens #nineteen eighty four #good omens 2 #good omens 2 spoilers #1984 #good omens book club #long post #torture mention #sa mention

85 notes · View notes

creedslove · 2 months

Text

Proving Dave York's marriage wasn't going that great - Equalizer 2

First of all, I'd like to remind you all besties that I'm a Dave York apologist and I will forever defend this man no matter how many atrocities he's done (and were those really atrocities? Debatable) and I have also villainized Carol and I have zero regrets about it, so let's go:

• Exhibit A: The trip to Belgium

Susan and Dave are in a virtual meeting talking about the recent case, she knows shes gonna have to travel all the way to Belgium to investigate and invites Dave, who immediately goes like "and leaving this shitty office?"

But, what if the office isn't really his main problem? What if Dave was also looking forward to leaving the house for a little while? A trip to another country seems refreshing and also the belgium chocolate? Dave's excited... And as a husband and a father of two not once he thinks of bringing his family some chocolate? It's a sign of a stressed man who needs some time on his own

• Exhibit B: the hotel hall

Dave and Susan are going over the evidence they found in the crime scene, gathering hypothesis on what could've happened and Dave says there's no records of the victim cheating on his wife with anyone, not even flirty texts and Susan is like "come on, Dave women fuck around too"

And that's Dave's reaction:

He's like: well....

(also, sorry for the horrible quality of the pic but you besties get the point and also his tummy 🤤)

And then Susan asks him when was the last time Dave sent his wife flowers and all Dave says is: "noted, noted"

So that indicates it has been a long time since Dave has sent her flowers... So the romance is dead, and if the romance is dead so is their sexual life. Was Dave thinking about the possibility of Carol herself fucking around? And let's face it, she probably is

• Exhibit C: the kitchen scene

Commonly used to prove the point that no matter if Dave's an assassin, he's also a good father, the kitchen scene reveals more about his marriage than anything else; we see Dave's got a huge, beautiful house, and then we go to the kitchen. It's spacious, nice, and modern... And messy. One of the kids is whining about grapes and going to the dentist and the other one is doing the homework and Dave and Carol? Absolutely no sign of a loving couple, no pecking on the lips, exchanging glances, a little flirting... Nothing. They are just ignoring each other, Dave's got his cup of coffee and hand and checking his phone as if he's alone.

Then when Carol goes to answer the door, he's giving his youngest daughter attention, he is a good dad, but it isn't a heartwarming interaction between them, and above all, he seems bored, like yeah the kids are cute but he's got more important things to do

And then, when Carol takes a while to come back with McCall, Dave calls her by her name twice, of course he raised his voice because she was in another room and he wanted her to hear him, but it always seemed just so dry and harsh to me and I couldn't exactly figure why it was like that, until I finally got it:

no pet names at all

Seriously?! No darling, honey, baby, sweetheart?! Just a simple dry "CAROL" a couple of times and that's it? It smells like a marriage crisis to me...

• Exhibit D: the driveway scene

The scene where McCall runs into his old team and promises to kill them all; there's enough tension as it is, they all know McCall means business and he is low-key threatening Dave's family by pretending he's so nice and friendly and wanting to get a ride

(I just need to address how dumb and careless is to allow McCall, a man she's never seen in her life get a ride with her and get so cozy around her kids, I mean yeah, he's her husband's army buddy but he's also an old man who also happens to be a complete stranger and he suddenly wants to be around her and her kids, I mean, fuck off)

And Dave knows it's likely one of the last times he's gonna see his family... And what does he do? Does he hug them? Give Carol a peck on the lips? He does NOTHING!!!

So you know what it means? Carol wasn't worthy of her husband, they didn't love each other anymore and Dave would be way better off with me instead 😉🤪

#pedro pascal #dave york #random #personal #equalizer 2 #dave york x reader #dave york x you #dave york x y/n #i love dave so much #i hope you besties enjoy him too

95 notes · View notes

lovemyromance · 2 months

Text

Stop Kicking Elain out of the NC

She doesn't want to go. She doesn't want to leave her family. The cauldron turning her into high fae was unfortunate, but in typical Elain fashion (my favorite quality of hers) she made the best of a terrible situation and adapted to her new home, her new body, her new life. She has friends. She glows with health. She is mending the relationship with her sisters. The male she loves is there.

Why would she want to leave?

And if anyone brings up the fact that Cassian said she couldn't pull off a black dress - I swear to god I'll be convinced you've never read a book before. Cassian, the Miranda Priestley of Velaris, declaring Elain doesn't look good in black does not mean she is being rejected by the Night Court.

Do people not read? Did you not read how Nesta had to stand out to be Eris-bait, and if Elain, gorgeous, sweet, with beauty-that-could-bring-a-king-to-his-knees Elain was done up like the rest of them, the chances of Eris following after Nesta would have been slim? They had to make her look muted, to purposefully fade her into the background. That is ALL.

Now let's get into the even worse arguments for booting Elain out of the NC. Specifically,

She belongs in Spring (with Lucien)

She belongs in Day (with Lucien)

She belongs in Autumn (with Lucien)

Do you see what all those have in common (other than being surface level awful arguments)? They all center around Lucien. Who currently, Elain avoids like the plague. But I'm getting ahead of myself, lets go one by one, slow and steady:

Elain does NOT belong in spring

Why is this a thing, even? Because she likes flowers and Feyre said "oh elain would like it here?" That's it? Are we reducing people down to their hobbies now? Nesta likes books, should she also move to Day? Mor likes...wine I guess, should she move into a tavern? Amren likes puzzles, ship her to Dawn? Azriel likes Elain, let's put him in the Prison??

Or, oh wait, Tamlin should lose his court and Elain and Lucien will rule? How. Genuinely, how? Lucien is already an heir to Day Court & Autumn Court. How would the magic pick him of all people if Tamlin somehow dies/gives up his court? Wouldn't it pick someone...of Spring Court descent?

P.S Flowers also grow in the Night Court.

Make it make sense.

2. Elain does NOT belong in Day

First of all, right now, nobody knows about Lucien's parentage except for Feyre/Rhys and LoA (maybe). Helion doesn't know. Lucien himself does not know.

For Lucien to become high lord of Day, y'all realize Helion would have to die, right? Why would you ever kill off such an icon? And even if he just casually lives there while Helion still rules...a lot of things would have to happen for this to occur, like: Lucien's parentage is revealed, Helion accepts him as his heir, likely a blood duel between Beron/Helion over LoA, If Beron wins THEN Lucien becomes HL of Day, but if Helion wins then Eris becomes HL of Autumn...all of this would have to be covered in one book before they can even think about moving to Day and living happily ever after. You know, if Elain ever actually gives him the time of...day.

Don't even give me the "but Elain needs sunlight"!!

P.S. The NC also gets sunlight

Elain is not a plant. She does not undergo photosynthesis and need to go to the Day Court to physically be alive. Elain does not need light she IS the light. What's not clicking folks? Her name literally means LIGHT. Some variations say fawn/deer, but mainly she is light.

3. Elain does NOT belong in Autumn

This argument is more rare, but I don't understand it either. Why would she go live in Autumn as the reluctant mate to the 7th son of the awful Autumn HL? Autumn court cannot be this interesting to y'all, that you would be totally okay with not hearing from feyre/rhys/nesta/cassian/any of the IC, just to read a story about Elain avoiding Lucien in different climate/setting? Autumn exists in the NC too, you guys. She can ignore him when the leaves change color there, just as much.

And all of this, is only centered around Lucien. Because if you just asked this sweet flower child what she wanted, I can guarantee you, her answer would be to stay right where she is: home.

If she weren't mated to Lucien, would you still be sending her away to Spring/Day/Autumn?

This isn't even a ship thing at this point, like...Lucien doesn't currently have a home right now? Why are we tearing Elain away from her home to go live with a mate she does not want? If Elucien ever did get together, it would make so much more sense for Lucien to just move to the NC instead. Because Elain sure as hell is not going to live in her ex-fiance's manor, far away from her sisters, with a mate she didn't ask for and his rude bestie who literally made a r*pe joke about her (yeah, not understanding the Jurian & Lucien friendship here either).

Stop kicking my girlie out of the night court. She's staying where she belongs. If she leaves, it will be her choice. Not because her mate lives somewhere else. Not because she likes flowers. If she stays, it will be because that is her choice.

I thought it was obvious.

#elriel #pro elain #elain archeron #elain x azriel #acotar

118 notes · View notes

vedicastrology-thestarsguideyou · 3 months

Text

🤍 Venus - The essence of beauty.

शुक्र - Shukra is known as Venus .

In Sanskrit , Shukra (Venus) means clear or bright. He is also known as the Guru of the the Daityas - the powerful but demonic beings. ( In whom ignorance , selfishness, dullness , greed is more high ) . These are the most difficult students & difficult lessons to learn . And these are also the traits that are also within us that lead us away from our true self .

There's deeper meaning to it .

Venus signifies beauty , material wealth , sensuality, Art , love , sex , creativity, relationships, great depth of understanding , soft & tender feelings , comforts , addictions , and most importantly spiritual wealth too.

On a superficial level Venus grants outward beauty , good relationships , love , sex , material wealth & possessions but on a deeper level , Venus is clarity & illumination . It represents the true essence of beauty which can only be felt within , the clarity we attain after realising our true self , the love we discover for our all parts of personality - the soft tender & the rough rejected dark edges . Understanding our selves and thus the compassion we feel for ourselves , the brightness of our hearts .

Venus also represents our relationships. How our relationship is with our inner world reflects in our outer relationships & world as well. 💌

🤍 When we establish and honor our need for quality time for solitude , we are able to connect with something permanent within. The silence & the depth of stillness. And in that stillness , true love blossoms . This love encompasses not only ourself but all others.

☘️ It's significations - singing , painting, literature , dance etc carry the song of the soul . It's for its own sake. The blossoming happens within & the fragrance shares itself & thus attracts. 🪷💚

🌻Sex is another way to transcend the boundaries of our timid self and experience that unification with everything & nothing .

🤍 Venus also teaches us that lower levels of addiction are in itself just inadequate ways to obtain that true understanding and love . It's the teaching as well as a lesson. You can get lost in the Mirage of Maya ( Illusion) that Venus creates or you can see through it and realise what really matters. The truest , most intimate love relationship you will ever have is with yourself first.

🤍 In solitude , silence , stillness & with proper guidance , in the environment of pisces , Venus finally gets to emit it's true brilliance. It's true face.

🪷The understanding that the other is the self too.

🪷That there's only oneness. Letting go of our boundaries & merging.

🪷That You and I are one on the deepest Level. That god is everything & nothing . And this is the reason why Venus is exalted in pisces in the sweet tender creative nurturing last Nakshatra of the karmic zodiac cycle - Revati. 🤍 Total dissolution , transcendence & Realisation of self.

💌Life itself is art & thus living intensely & fully in the moment . The beauty , terror & the adventure . Venus teaches us the tantrik way of living . Immersion and witnessing .💌 Simultaneously.

#astro observations #astrology #astrology observations #counseling #vedic #vedic astro notes #vedic astro observations #astro notes #astrology blog #astrologer #pisces #vedic culture #venus #exalted #planets #synastry #love #self love #beauty

78 notes · View notes

gragrace · 3 months

Text

Unveiling Shadows: A Profiler's Love Story

Summary: "Unveiling Shadows" follows Spencer Reid and Y/n as their unspoken connection in the BAU evolves into a complex romance. Navigating cases and emotions, they discover love amidst the chaos, proving that understanding the human mind extends beyond profiling criminals.

AN: this is my first published fic, I’d love some feedback! But please be gentle 🩷

⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂ ⠂⠄⠄⠂☆

Spencer Reid stood outside the BAU headquarters, adjusting his tie with uncharacteristic nervousness. The anticipation of his first official date with Y/n, a colleague he'd grown close to over shared cases and late-night profiling sessions, filled the air with a palpable tension.

Y/n approached, wearing a tasteful yet casual outfit that seemed to amplify the excitement in the air. "Hey, Spencer," she greeted with a warm smile.

"Hi, Y/n," he replied, offering a smile that concealed the swirling emotions within. "You look amazing."

As they headed to a quaint restaurant, Spencer couldn't help but reflect on the journey that had led them to this moment. Their connection had gradually deepened over time, born out of shared passions for criminal profiling and a mutual understanding of the darker aspects of human behavior.

In the BAU, where emotions often took a back seat to logic and analysis, the unspoken dynamics between Spencer and Y/n had been growing steadily. Late-night conversations about obscure facts and shared intellectual pursuits had become the norm, and with each passing day, the emotional undercurrent between them became more apparent.

The team had noticed the subtle shift, the unspoken connection that lingered between the two brilliant profilers. Morgan had teased Spencer about his newfound partner in crime, while Garcia playfully nudged Y/n about the "Reid effect." Yet, both Spencer and Y/n chose to remain silent about the emotions that simmered beneath the surface.

Their first official date was both a culmination of those unspoken feelings and a testing ground for what lay ahead. The air was thick with anticipation as they navigated through the initial awkwardness of small talk, both acutely aware of the emotional complexity that existed between them.

Over dinner, the conversation flowed effortlessly, a mix of shared laughter and hesitant glances. Spencer couldn't help but admire Y/n's intelligence and wit, qualities that had drawn him to her in the first place. Yet, the elephant in the room – their unacknowledged feelings – cast a shadow over the evening.

Midway through their meal, Spencer's phone buzzed. Glancing at the screen, he sighed. "We have a case," he informed Y/n regretfully.

Y/n nodded, understanding the unpredictable nature of their work. "Let's finish this quickly, and then we can deal with the case... and us."

The urgency of the investigation became a metaphor for the unresolved tension between them. As they delved into the case, the emotions that had been lingering beneath the surface became more apparent, influencing their interactions and shared glances.

Hours later, they cracked the case, the exhilaration of the breakthrough mingling with the unspoken emotions that hung in the air. Spencer and Y/n found themselves standing in the aftermath of shared success, the tension between them no longer ignorable.

Spencer turned to Y/n, vulnerability in his eyes. "We've been dancing around this for too long," he confessed.

Y/n met his gaze, her own walls crumbling. "I know, Spencer. It's time we admit what we feel."

The admission opened the floodgates of their emotions, and in that charged moment, they found solace in each other's arms. The investigation had not only unveiled a criminal but had also unraveled the emotional knots that had kept them apart.

As they left the BAU headquarters hand in hand, the night sky seemed to reflect the newfound clarity in their connection. The investigation had not only brought closure to a case but had also opened the door to a new chapter in their lives – one where they no longer hesitated to admit the depth of their feelings for each other.

Over the subsequent weeks, Spencer and Y/n navigated the uncharted territory of a blossoming relationship within the confines of the BAU. The team, perceptive as ever, quickly caught on to the shift in dynamics, and playful comments from Morgan and Garcia added a touch of humor to their budding romance.

The pair found solace in the quiet moments – stolen glances across the profiling room, shared lunches in the BAU kitchen, and the occasional late-night banter that had been a precursor to their romantic journey. The once-unspoken became a source of strength, anchoring them amidst the chaos of their demanding jobs.

However, as their relationship deepened, so did the challenges. The nature of their work often meant long hours, unpredictable schedules, and the constant specter of danger. Yet, they faced each hurdle as a team, relying on their shared understanding of the complexities of the human mind to navigate the intricacies of their evolving relationship.

Their love story became intertwined with the cases they solved together, the adrenaline-fueled highs and the emotionally taxing lows serving as a backdrop to their personal journey. Each investigation strengthened their bond, reinforcing the idea that they were not only partners in crime-solving but also in the intricate dance of love.

As the weeks turned into months, Spencer and Y/n found a delicate balance between their personal and professional lives. The BAU, once a place of stoic logic, became a witness to the emotional depth that unfolded between them. The unspoken tension that had defined their interactions transformed into a shared understanding, a silent language that transcended words.

One evening, after a particularly challenging case, Spencer and Y/n found themselves on the familiar steps outside the BAU headquarters. The weight of the day's events lingered in the air, and without the need for words, they sought comfort in each other's presence.

"I never thought I'd find this level of connection in a job like ours," Y/n admitted, her eyes reflecting a mixture of exhaustion and gratitude.

Spencer nodded, his hand finding hers. "It's rare, but when you find it, it's worth holding onto."

Their journey, marked by unspoken words and shared experiences, had led them to this moment of quiet revelation. The vulnerabilities that had once fueled the tension between them now served as the foundation of a relationship built on trust, understanding, and a shared passion for unraveling the mysteries of the human mind

As they entered the BAU headquarters, hand in hand, the team looked on with knowing smiles. The once-unspoken connection between Spencer and Y/n had blossomed into a love story, a testament to the resilience of the human heart amidst the challenges of their demanding profession.

Their journey continued, both in solving the intricate puzzles presented by their cases and in navigating the complexities of love. The uncharted territory they once feared had become a familiar landscape, shaped by the shared experiences that had brought them together in the first place. In the ever-evolving tapestry of their lives, Spencer and Y/n had found a profound and enduring connection that transcended the boundaries of the BAU and the mysteries they faced together.

#spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #matthew gray gubler #matthew gray gubler x reader #mgg x reader #mgg #criminal minds #criminal minds x reader

75 notes · View notes

islesnucks · 2 years

Text

Show you - Mathew Barzal x Reader (4+1 fic)

A/N: its here!! barzy fic with a lot of romcom influence and a bunch of taylor swift lyrics references

Word count: 7.2 k

Warnings: mention of alcohol, mention of illness (nothing serious but just in case) and there's one scene where the reader throws up

Summary: after hearing something he shouldn't have Mat is set on proving he is serious about dating you

Masterlist

Add yourself to the taglist!!

“One date. Promise it will be worth your time.” he said followed by his signature half smirk, usual Barzal charm full of action.

“Don’t flatter yourself.”

“I’m serious, I wanna take you out on a date.”

“You don’t wanna date me, you wanna take me to your bed because I’m the only girl here that’s not dreaming of that.” You gestured to the rest of the bar, more precisely the girl standing nearby that wouldn’t take her eyes off him. “It’s kind of childish really, the more you can't have it the more you want it.”

“I don’t wanna take you to my bed.” Pause. “At least not at first.” He corrected himself followed by a wink, and if said wink caused butterflies in your stomach you were going to deny it till you died. “I wanna take you on a couple dates first.”

You deadpanned at him. He wasn’t being serious, he couldn’t be. It was Mat after all. That’s how your relationship was: he’d jokingly flirt with you, you’d turn him down. It was a game, your little playful dynamic. It was never real.

“I’m not joking.” he persisted. His tone made you doubt, it sounded like he was being genuine.

“What has gotten into you?” He looked away, there was something he wasn’t telling you and it made you equally curious and anxious not knowing. “Mathew spill it out. Right now.”

“It was an accident, okay? I swear I wasn’t eavesdropping or anything.” The way he was nervously defending himself beforehand only made you feel worse. Your heart started racing. No, there was no way he could’ve heard that- “Last friday at Beau’s, you were talking to Emma …”

Shit. He had heard it.

“You weren’t supposed to hear that.” you said, looking away as your cheeks flushed in embarrassment.

“I know, I know. I swear it wasn’t on purpose, I was going to get a beer from the fridge and you two were talking in the kitchen.”

“Forget it.”

“You said you’d date me.”

“Mat, forget it.”

“You’d date me.” he repeated, as if he himself still couldn’t believe it.

“You’re missing the ‘if’. I said I would date you if you weren’t you.” You remembered it very clearly. The if that was just impossible to ignore because was essentially part of himself.

“I don’t get it.” You didn’t want to explain it, there was no point. Nothing good was gonna come out of it, nothing was gonna change.

“You’re a great guy Mat and I really like what we have, let’s just pretend I never said that and go back to normal.”

“I’m serious about this.” He wasn’t going to let it go, you knew him. But you weren’t going to simply accept, because you also knew the consequences that would inevitably follow.

To you it was no news you liked him, how could you not? Apart from his obvious good looks, he was funny and sweet and caring and many more amazing qualities that would make almost anyone like him. But you knew it could never go past that, past a silly little crush. Because apart from being all those good things Mathew Barzal was a manwhore and that was surely going to end up with you getting hurt. So you decided to ignore whatever it was you were starting to feel and to stick with the jokingly flirting, not allowing yourself to even entertain the idea of him being anything more than a friend.

“You don’t do dates.”

“I do with you.” You rolled your eyes. “Come on, you can't just rule me out like that, at least give me a chance.”

You looked at him for a second, really taking him in. It didn’t seem like he was lying or attempting one of his stunts to just take a girl home, you had seen a lot of them. Still you weren’t going to give in and he could tell the hesitation in your eyes.

“I’m not like you Mat. I don’t fool around. I’m 99.9% sure if I let the slightest thing happen between us I’m gonna end up hurt because I can’t keep things casual and casual is all you do.”

He looked taken aback by it, like he suddenly realized the reputation he had and how it could make anyone not take him seriously.

“I’m gonna prove it to you.” he suddenly said after a moment of silence. Now it was your turn to look at him in confusion. “I’m gonna show you I’m serious about this.”

Before you could analyze what he truly meant Tito arrived, putting an end to the topic.

The bar started getting more and more crowded by the minute and in said crowd, just like every other night you went out with these two, there were girls looking over at your table, looking over at them. You were already used to it, at some point Tito was going to complain about how awkward it was making him feel and how much he missed Emma, and Mat being the polar opposite would enjoy every second of the female attention until deciding which girl was going to be his catch of the night and go for it.

Tito did as expected, however Mat was still sitting by your side pretending not to notice them. You then understood it was part of his plan to show you he was being serious about wanting to date you, how serious would he look if he went and made out with another girl in front of you?

“This must be killing you.” you told him.

“What exactly?” Mat turned to look at you. He knew what you were talking about. Tito’s ‘here we go’ got lost under the noise, but his face said it all. Everyone, prepare yourself for another round of banter.

“Not being able to take any of these girls home.” you explained, even though there was no explanation needed. “That blonde one is basically throwing herself at you. You can always accept you weren’t serious about me and go with her. I won’t be offended, I swear.”

Part of you really enjoyed seeing him try to prove himself to you, being his center of attention. But you wouldn’t get your hopes up because he still was Mathew Barzal and there was a big chance, huge chance, he just wanted to get into your pants and once you put enough resistance he would simply give up and move on to the next girl who would hopefully (and probably) give in way easily. He’d probably forget about it and go back to his old ways next week.

“No thanks. The only girl I wanna take home is sitting next to me, but as I said that won’t happen before a couple dates. I’m a gentleman.” Tito chuckled, not the world he’d use to describe his friend.

“Such a gentleman.” you added, eyes squinting in annoyance accompanied by a fake smile. However his smile wasn’t fake, he was enjoying this a little too much.

“I’m getting another one. Want one?” You nodded and handed him your glass as he got up.

You watched as he made his way through the crowd to the bar, his broad shoulders pushing through the sea of bodies moving to the rhythm of the music. Faces turned when he walked by, some because they recognized him and others simply because of his looks.

“What’s that thing about proving he’s serious?” Tito brought you back to reality, your thoughts were still stuck on Mat’s shoulders.

“Apparently he wants to date me, but it’s Mat, we both know he’s incapable of anything remotely close to seriously dating someone.”

“So he finally confessed, eh?” Your brows furrowed at his comment. “Shit, he didn’t. Just forget I said anything.”

“Anthony!” you said a little too loud earning some weird looks from the people around you. “You can’t just say something like that and then tell me to forget it!”

“Ok, look I shouldn’t tell you this, but believe him. I know Barzy is Barzy, but when he says it’s you over any girl he’s not lying. Give him a chance to prove himself.”

That only made you more confused. Tito told you to give him a chance so was Mat being sincere? Did he really want to date you? No, that couldn’t be true. Tito wouldn’t just say something like that to help his friend, it couldn’t all be part of Mat’s scheme to get into your pants, could it? Were you seriously considering giving Mathew Barzal a chance? Your plan to not get your hopes up was already off to a rocky start.

Too lost trying to make sense of everything that had happened the past hour, you didn’t notice Mat was already back with one glass on each hand and a smirk on his face. You tried to shake off that weird dubious feeling that had settled in.

“One for the lady.” he said, placing the glass in your hands and then took his previous spot on the couch between you and Tito. “So, what did I miss?” He could help but notice your change in demeanor since he had left.

“Nothing.” Tito was quick to answer, but something did happen. A lot had happened.

Your head was killing you and the ringing of your apartment’s bell wasn’t making it any better. Guessing it was just a door-to-door salesman you ignored it, but a minute later there it was again. You got up, ready to tell off whoever it was that was bothering you, but before you could even talk Mat was already asking you to let him in. Extremely confused you did so, knowing there was no point in asking for an explanation over the intercom.

“W-what are you doing here?” you said opening the door only to be met by the man himself holding a grocery bag.

“You’re sick, right?” he asked and you nodded slowly, confused as to how he could know since you hadn’t told anyone.

“How did you-” The obvious answer came to mind before you even finished the question. “Emma.”

“Well not Emma exactly.” he explained as he walked into your apartment, heading to the kitchen. “Beau mentioned earlier at practice she was supposed to be hanging out with you today but you canceled cause you weren’t feeling good.”

He placed the grocery bag on your kitchen counter and started to look through the cabinets as you inspected what was inside the bag. A small smile appeared in your lips when you recognize the containers. You tried to hide it quickly when he turned around to face you but he caught it.

“So you bought soup and my favorite dessert and your plan is to what? Look after me?”

“Yeah.” he answered matter of factly. This was clearly part of his ploy to show you he was serious about you, since you assumed he didn’t show up to take care of just any girl when they were sick. “Now go get comfy and put on a movie or something. I’ll heat this up and help you with anything you need.”

You were too tired to even attempt to put any kind of resistance against his stuid plan. Plus it would be nice to feel taken care of, especially in the state that you were in. So with a simple shrug of your shoulders you left him in the kitchen and headed back to the couch.

The possibility of Mat burning down your apartment trying to heat up the soup was real, too real; but minutes had gone by and the fire alarm still hadn’t gone off. Before you knew it he was handing you a steamy soup bowl with a proud smile on his face, he was also worried about burning down the place.

“Thanks.”

“You’re welcome. Anything else I can do for you?” He seemed eager to help, to prove himself useful.

“Not that I can think of.”

His face fell. Yes, this was all to prove he was boyfriend material. Still he didn’t want to go, it felt wrong to leave you all alone when you weren’t feeling good, he wanted to be there for you. You could tell this, it was clear in his face, and truth be told you didn’t want him to leave, it was nice having him around, especially if he was willing to play your personal maid for the day. You could also tell he wasn’t going to ask to stay, he didn’t want to bother or be a burden. You’d have to ask him to stay, leaving your pride aside because at the same time you’d be helping him prove his point.

“Could you stay? You know in case I get worse and get a fever and stuff.”

“Yes, yes. Obviously.” He tried not to sound so excited about it. He failed.

At first he took a seat on the armchair beside the couch. He crossed his legs, then uncrossed them, leaned against the backrest, started bouncing one leg, leaned forward elbows resting on his thighs, leaned back again and started drumming his fingers on the armrests. Unable to find a comfortable position, he got up and started walking around the living room, just couldn’t stay still. You could hear him, feel him pacing up and down behind you, the creaking of the floor driving you insane.

“Mat?” He stopped, finally.

“Yes?” You signaled with your hand for him to come closer and he did. When he appeared again in front of you he looked worried, ready to call an ambulance.

“Can you please stop moving around? I swear all your pacing is making me feel sicker.”

“Yeah, sure.” He sat again on the armchair and finally the only thing that could be heard was the movie playing on the tv. It lasted less than a minute.

“I’m sorry. I never really took care of someone sick, except for my sister that one time but she was 10 and my mother told me what to do over the phone so it doesn't count. I don’t exactly know what to do. Do you want water? Another blanket? Tea? More soup?”

Maybe, just maybe, this wasn’t all just part of his plan to prove you wrong. Maybe he genuinely cared. And maybe (definitely) your heart warmed at his concern.

“Come here.” You patted the spot next to you on the couch.

He sat but his eyes were stuck on the tv. He was being weird, weirder than usual. You took his hand, making him face you. He still looked uneasy, not the chill Mat you were used to.

“You’re doing a great job, okay? I’m already feeling better.” He relaxed a little. ”Now please just calm down and enjoy the movie. I chose one with cartoons so you could understand it.”

“So funny.” His words dripped sarcasm, the Mat you knew was back.

As the movie went on it was getting harder and harder to fight the sleep; to keep your eyes from closing, your head from falling. At one point you gave into it, closed your eyes and let your head rest on Mat’s shoulder. And if you cuddled closer into him, that happened unconsciously when you were already asleep.

Mat got tense at first. Ever since this started, this being him knowing he had the slightest chance with you, everything that once was normal between the two of you had a whole new meaning for him, made him feel and think and react in a whole new way. This wasn’t the first time you had fallen asleep on him. Okay, yes, the previous times were because you were too bored or too drunk at some party and needed somewhere to rest your head; you were in the middle of the club or someone’s place surrounded by people. Now it was different, you could’ve laid against the armrest but you laid against him, and you were alone in your place. It felt intimate. It made him feel anxious or maybe nervous, he wasn’t sure what he felt, but it was the good kind of feeling.

You weren’t sure how you ended up this drunk. Well, you actually did but you weren’t going to admit it even to yourself yet. Tito helped you into the uber, or maybe it was Mat? You also weren’t sure about that.

At some point you got to your place. You were changing into your pajamas when you heard a noise in the kitchen. Slowly you made your way there and almost had a heart attack when you spotted a man’s figure roaming your fridge. Almost, until you noticed it was Mat.

“Dude you scared me.” He turned around confused. “I forgot I wasn’t alone.”

“You’re that drunk?” You flipped him off. “See I was getting you a glass of cold water, but if you’re gonna treat me like that I don’t think you deserve it.”

Your mouth watered at the thought of water. You were indeed that drunk. He laughed at the look in your eyes when he mentioned water and handed you the glass, which you took no time in gulping down.

“Slow down or you're gonna-” he started to say but the look in your face told him it was too late.

“Shit.” you said and rushed to the bathroom, hand on your mouth trying to at least delay the inevitable till you reached your toilet.

Mission accomplished, you made it in time but that didn’t make what followed any nicer. In no time Mat was behind you, holding your hair with one hand and caressing your back gently with the other. It just wouldn’t stop, when you felt it was over and there couldn’t possibly be anything left in your stomach to be pushed out, there it was again.

“Still wanna date this puking mess?” you were able to joke in that rare moment your body decided to give you a break between pukes.

“I wanna date this puking mess so much you have no idea.” he said and sounded so genuine you could’ve smiled had it not been the feeling of more disgusting liquid coming up your throat.

Eventually the throwing up stopped, thankfully, and Mat helped you up from your bathroom floor. He kept his arm around you as he guided you to your room, not that you needed it but you weren’t going to complain.

You let yourself fall into the mattress the second you reached your bed, too tired (and still drunk) to care about sleeping over the comforter or the position you were in. Mat’s soft chuckled could be heard behind you, making your insides tingle at the sound. It was hot, you could admit that.

“Why did you drink that much?” he asked as he helped you get in a more sleeping-appropriate position. It was more of a rhetorical question but your drunk brain didn’t catch that. Apparently your drunk brain also felt like being honest and sharing a truth you hadn’t even shared with yourself yet.

“That bitch wouldn’t stop checking you out.” Mat looked down at you surprised. “Sorry she wasn’t a bitch, that’s not very feminist from me.”

“You got drunk because a girl was looking at me?”

“Not exactly like that.” Your train of thought wasn’t the brightest back at the party and now wasn’t much better. You were sure what you were about to explain wasn’t going to make any sense, but again your drunk brain didn’t care. “She wouldn’t stop looking at you and then she was playing beer pong and I really wanted to beat her because she was looking at you.”

“But you suck at beer pong.”

“I know. She kicked my ass.”

He laughed. It wasn’t the cocky laugh you expected after admitting you had gotten jealous over him; it was a sweet laugh. Actually what was sweet wasn’t the laugh itself but the way he was looking at you, his eyes were full of adoration. You should’ve felt embarrassed after just confessing that, but you weren’t because it was Mat. Not old stupid-fratty-dude Mat, it was this new lovely caring Mat. You could almost feel your hopes getting up but the second and the alcohol in your blood wasn’t helping.

His laughter died when he felt the way you were looking at him so intensely, intrigued by what was going on in your head. “Penny for your thoughts.”

When he spoke your eyes went to his lips and so did your thoughts.

“You have really kissable lips.” Any type of filter you had was gone because of the alcohol. “They look soft and big. I once thought you had fillers. Still kinda do honestly.”

There it was again, that laugh, that smile that made your insides burn. “You’re gonna regret saying all of this in the morning.”

“Kiss me.” The words left your lips before your head even processed them, not that it would’ve made a big difference if you had.

“What?”

“I really want you to kiss me Mat.” Your hand went up to cup his face, to draw him closer, but he didn’t move.

“And I really, really want to kiss you. Believe me I do. But it’s not gonna be like this.”

You pouted, earning a chuckle and roll of eyes from him. It took every bit of self control he had not to kiss that pout out of your lips.

“I’m gonna kiss you one day, you just wait.” Now you were rolling your eyes, cocky Mat was coming back, but just like Mat in general this was a new cocky, a cocky you could tolerate and actually liked. “When I finally kiss you it won’t be because you’re drunk and needy-”

“Hey!” You punched him in the chest, trying your hardest to seem offended. The smile on your face didn’t help you sell the part.

“When I finally kiss you you’ll want me to kiss you, there’s gonna be no doubt in your mind how serious I’m about you, how real my feelings are.”

He left you speechless. If only he knew your barrier was breaking down and you were second away from reaching that point, from falling completely head first blindly for him.

You held his gaze until you couldn’t anymore, still drunk and exhausted your body gave in and your eyes closed.

Mat thought you had passed out, if not he would have said it. “You’re the one for me, I know it. I’ll prove it to you.”

You heard him. Then you felt his lips gently kissing your forehead and lastly his steps walking away.

Mat was losing his mind, which wasn’t ideal since the game was going to start any minute. He couldn’t get the image out of his head, you sitting next to that other guy, laughing at something he said. The brain was a tricky thing because the moment he could stop thinking about it his eyes would wander to that specific sector where he knew you were sitting and it was hell all over again.

The first period ended and they were tied on 0, so even if his head wasn’t in the game it wasn’t that bad. The problem was when by the end of the second period they were down by 2, one being a puck lost by Mat because he couldn’t stop looking over where you were and the second a power play goal made on a stupid penalty he took when frustration took over.

The second intermission came and by the way Anders was glaring at him as they made their way off the ice he knew what was about to come. He took a seat next to him, which wasn’t his usual seat, and laid it on him the second Lambert was done giving indications.

“Get your shit together man. What has gotten into you?”

“Nothing. Bad day.” Anders looked at him, not believing a single word. Then he looked over at Tito sitting on Mat’s other side waiting for an explanation.

“She came with another guy to the game.” There was no need to clarify who the she was.

“Look Mat, the girl you like brought another guy to your game, it sucks, believe me I get it. But the worst thing you can do is play like shit in front of them, ok? You’re the most competitive guy I know, go there and play the game of your life, show off, make her regret it.” Mat nodded. That was exactly what he needed, to use this as fuel to play better, as motivation.

Before they left the locker room and headed back to the ice he sent you a text. It was a simple ‘meet me outside the lockers after’. He wasn’t just going to leave it like that. Yes he was the one trying to prove something and pushing for a date, but after what had happened the last couple weeks it felt like things had changed, things were heading in the right direction. This didn’t make sense, it felt like a betrayal no matter how dramatic it sounded, and he felt like he was owed an explanation.

Anders' words indeed worked because he was a completely different player that last period, even came close to scoring a natural hatty had it not been for the final bell. With his two goals and one by Pelly they completed the comeback and won the game.

You watched the clock run out of time, begging for it to go slower. Mat’s text confused you, you had no clue what it was about but it couldn’t be good. You decided it would be better to head over there and get whatever it was going on over with before the game ended and thousands of fans started to flood the hallways trying to get out. So after saying goodbye to Pete, sending him off with some lame excuse about having to catch Emma before she left, you made your way to the locker room.

You had been there before maybe once or twice, normally choosing to wait for your friends outside the arena. It felt weird, even out of place, to be there surrounded by girlfriends and wives of the players when you were neither. Thankfully the girls hadn’t arrived yet, it was just you, some stuff and guards.

Mat had apparently given your name to security because you were allowed in the private zone without any problem and just in time to see them walk down the hallway, big smiles and victorious screams after such a great comeback.

The ones that noticed you said a simple hi or gave you a friendly nod. Mat was the last to get off the ice since he had been named first star of the game and his whole attitude changed the second he saw you there waiting for him. Bad signal.

“Congratulations-” you started to say when he approached you but were cut off by his hand grabbing yours and gently drawing you some steps away from the locker room entrance. You thought he’d shower and change before you talked about whatever it was he so urgently needed to talk about, but it seemed it couldn’t wait.

He had his helmet on one hand and stick on the other. Skates still on so now he towered even more over you. It was weird to have him standing in front of you in his uniform.

“Do you like me?” he let out, cutting straight to the chase.

“W-what?” You were taken aback by it.

“Do you like me? It’s a yes or no question.” It was not that simple, even if you had known he’d ask that it would’ve taken you some time to come up with the right answer. Hell, even you didn’t know the answer to that yet. Yes, you liked him but was that the type of like he was referring to? Was it like as in friends? As in more than friends? As in friends that could potentially be more than friends eventually?

“Mat what’s going on?” You avoided his question again, hoping he’d give you an explanation and you could move on from it.

“Ok, I’m gonna assume you like me because I like you. I like you a lot. So much that I’ve been trying to prove to you how much I like you and how serious I am about this. It would be a huge fucking pity if after everything you don’t even like me.” He could feel himself getting more heated up by the second, adrenaline still running in his veins from the game.

“I don’t get where this is going.”

“If you like me, why are you going on a date with another guy? Why are you bringing him to my game? What kind of sick game is this?” Once you realized what he was talking about you had to fight back your laugh.

“This is about Pete?”

“So he’s called Pete.”

“Pete my friend. My coworker. My married coworker may I add.”

“Oh.” was all he was able to say. He stared at you in slack-jaw, processing everything.

Mat had done some pretty stupid things in his life but this had to be on the top 10. He should've known it was not what it looked like, he knew you and knew you wouldn’t do something like that.

“Yeah ‘oh’.” you replied with a smile on your face. The more you thought about it the funnier the whole situation was.

“Can we just pretend this never happened?” His cheeks turned red and he scratched the back of his neck. It was adorable to see Mat out of his element, his confident exterior completely gone.

“I don’t think I want to, you look cute freaking out.”

“I’m cute, eh?” And just like that the Mat you knew was back, embarrassment disappearing as his cocky smile grew.

“Shit forgot rule number one: never give Mathew Barzal a compliment.”

“You’ve got more rules?” He leaned against the wall and accompanied the question with a jerk of his head.

“Rule number two: he will automatically assume the worst so be careful who you hang out with.”

“Ha. Funny.”

“If it makes you feel better it showed you care. In a really stupid twisted way, but it did.”

“Good. Because I really do care.” He said with so much sincerity, looking you in the eyes, hoping you could see in his how genuine he was being.

“I know.” you replied with the same amount of honesty.

The two of you went silent, only staring at each other with bright eyes and adorable smiles. There was nothing left to say.

If you had to pinpoint the moment in which you gave up trying to hold back your feelings this would be it. You had unsuccessfully tried to not get your hopes up all this time, while truly you knew there was no point in trying, it was gonna happen anyway. The only thing left for you to do was hope it didn’t end up with you getting hurt.

As if he could read your mind Mat opened his mouth, ready to ask you that one question again, but in that moment the locker room doors flung open.

“Barzy!” Anders called him, his head peeking through the door. “You and Pelly are up for the postgame interview, go shower already.”

“I should go.” he said and you nodded. He started walking away reluctantly, not wanting to leave you, not wanting the moment to be over. You didn’t want it to be over either.

“Mat?” you called and he turned around. “Are you free on friday?”

“Are you asking me on a date?” One of his brows went up in amusement.

“Still haven’t decided if I’m calling it a date or not.” He was not going to push it, not when after all he was (maybe) getting what he had been after all this time.

“I’m free.”

“Good. We can arrange everything later.”

“Good.”

There you were again, looking at each other with stupid love eyes, unable to hide your happiness. Mat told himself he was going to wait, he was going to rush it, but God he wanted to grab your face and kiss you so much it was painful to abstain.

“Mathew!” It was Anders again, this time louder and more annoyed.

“I’m going! I’m going!” he shouted back and rolled his eyes, making you laugh. “See you on Friday.”

He leaned in to kiss your cheek, that would have to make it for now. That tingle in your stomach was back, you’d have to call it The Mat Barzal Effect because he was the one always causing it. It made you feel like a silly 15 year old with a crush, which apart from the age wasn’t that far from the reality.

“Goodbye Barzal.” you said as he walked away.

He stopped to give you a final smile before pushing the doors open and walking in. That stupid tingling again.

His teammates looked at him as he walked over to his stall, each one of them ready to chirp him about the lovesick look he had in his face and the spring he suddenly had in his step. Anders was the first. “I’m gonna assume that smile isn’t because you got named first star.”

For a not date, it looked a lot like one. You wouldn’t have spent an hour dressing and undressing looking for the perfect outfit, and another extra hour fixing your hair and makeup, if it were just two friends hanging out. Mat wouldn’t have shown up at your door with flowers if it were just two friends hanging out. Most importantly the two of you wouldn’t be this nervous if this wasn’t a date, but still you refused to call it that.

It was tense at first, a bit awkward, but once you sat on the table he had reserved everything started to ease up. There was an unspoken pact to not talk about that certain topic, the elephant in the room, the reason you were sitting at the restaurant having a lovely dinner in the first place. So you spoke about everything else.

Conversation flew but you expected it to. Nerves aside it was Mat after all, you were friends, kind of. You talked, joked, laughed; as if it was a normal night with him just hanging out like you’ve done many times before.

He was charming, he always was charming with you, but this time you saw him with different eyes. When he told you you looked beautiful for the fourth time you didn’t roll your eyes thinking it was just a joke; you thanked him and even blushed a little. This new Mat, that was exactly like the old Mat but with a different undertone echoing his words an action; this new Mat was making you fall harder than what you expected. And while the idea of free falling into him and letting your emotions run wild was tempting you had to hold yourself back.

After dinner he proposed to go for a walk in an attempt to prevent the no-date from ending. You agreed, not wanting the night to end either. As soon as you walked into the street he took your hand in his and you were about to make some snarky comment about how holding hands was only reserved for real dates, but it felt good to have his hand wrapped around yours. Plus you could take it had taken him a leap of faith and a bit of courage for him to do it so naturally by the way he was avoiding all eye contact, so you decided to be nice just this once.

You walked into a park and when you passed by a nice bench illuminated by a lamppost it felt like a divine sign that it was the time and place to have that conversation.

“Let’s sit for a moment.” you said, already dragging him to the bench by your still entangled hands.

“It’s time to have that talk, isn’t it?” You could almost see the nerves from before coming back to him.

“Chill Barzal. I’m not going to interrogate you or anything. I just have one question.”

“Ok, shoot.”

There was no doubt in your mind Mat has proven he could seriously date someone, but part of you still wondered if he wanted to date you. Part of you was terrified that the only reason he was set to prove you wrong in the first place was because that night he heard you say he could have a chance. It was cynical to think you were just a challenge for him, especially after what you had gone through the past weeks, but you couldn’t help it.

“I know we’ve always had this kinda playful dynamic where you flirt with me and I pretend you’re the most despisable man on earth, and I always took it as a joke. Was it always a joke until you heard me and Emma that night?”

There it was, the question was out in the open and Mat now held in his hands the future of whatever it was the two of you were building. He took a second to reply, a second that felt like eternity and only made the anxious feeling grow inside of you.

“Kind of. Yes.”

Your heart broke. He gave you the one answer you were hoping he wouldn’t. When it all started you told yourself you’d never get your hopes up for him exactly for this reason, but you couldn’t control it and they inevitably did. But before tonight you swore no matter how much you wanted it you’d put an end to it all if there was the slight chance his feelings and desire to date you suddenly started after realizing he simply could.

You moved your hand away from his. He noticed the impact his answer had on you and has to fix it. He couldn’t let it slip away just because he chose the wrong words.

“No. Wait.” He took your hand in his again.

“Mat-” you started to say and pulled your hand away again but he cut you off and tightened the grip.

“It’s more complicated than that.” He was silently begging you to let him explain. Since you didn’t move away he took that as a yes. “See I always liked you, ever since Emma introduced you to the group. But I know my reputation, so I knew you wouldn’t date me. I never blamed you for it, I know I haven’t been the most stand up guy when it comes to my love life. So I guess I started to jokingly flirt with you to deal with my feelings in a way. If it was just a joke then it wasn’t real.”

“And then you heard me that night.” you added. He nodded.

“And then I heard you that night. When I realized I had the slightest chance with you I knew I had to take it.”

“That was a way better answer than your first one.” you said, unable to hide your smile.

Mathew Barzal had passed the test. Any ounce of doubt that was left in your mind disappeared. He liked you, he really liked you and had done so for longer that you ever imagined. It wasn’t some shallow meaningless plan to get his way with you. Now you were ready to dive in head first fearless.

“You seriously never noticed how much I like you?” He always thought he wasn’t being that obvious, but according to everyone that had ever seen you two intercat Mat was. Sometimes he couldn’t take his eyes away from you, even when you were standing on the other side of the room. He’d laugh a little too much at a joke you made. He’d always order your favorite drink for you whenever you went out. Countless times his friends had chirped him about it. It was crystal clear to everyone, to everyone except you.

“I always thought you were joking. That and I didn’t think I was your type”

“What!?” he seemed genuinely shocked by your answer. You were a little embarrassed to admit how much you had compared yourself to the girls he would flirt with, but you had done it and it was painfully clear you weren’t the type.

“Come on, I’m not like the girls you usually like Mat. I’m not like the instagram models, new york socialites, puck bunnies, bombshells you normally pick up on bars. I’m just me.”

“Well just you is a thousand times better. Just you has been driving me crazy from the day we met with her snarky comments and roll of eyes.” You rolled your eyes at his comment but couldn’t stop the blush from creeping into your cheeks. “You're beautiful and smart and funny and nice. I thought you were so out of my league. Still think so.”

“Well you convinced me Barzal, there’s no doubt in my mind how serious you are, how real your feelings are.” you repeated his words from that night.

“You remember that?” he asked surprised.

“You didn’t expect me to?” Your eyebrow went up defyingly.

“No, no. It’s just we never talked about it after so I just assumed you were too drunk and forgot everything.”

“Mhm. And I also heard something about being the one for you.” His cheeks turned red and he looked away. A shy Mathew Barzal might be the cutest thing you had ever seen. “Are you blushing? Am I making the Mathew Barzal blush? Oh my god-”

Your words died the moment he attached his lips to yours. It was clumsy at first as you laughed against his lips, but you fell into rhythm when you tilted your head so your lips could meet firmly and happily at once. His lips were soft like you had joked that night, and they tasted like the wine you had shared over dinner. It was intoxicating, the feeling of his lips on yours, his hand in your waist pulling you closer, your hand on the back of his neck. He gripped you firmly, as if trying to stop you from escaping.

You were the one to pull away first, but his lips chased yours making you giggle. You gave him a final peck, knowing there would be plenty more kissed like this sooner rather than later. That made your heart burst with happiness.

“Would you go out on a date with me?” he asked once again, knowing this time he would earn himself a different answer. You smiled up at him.

“I don’t know…”

“Smartass.” he said in the most endearing way possible as his hand went to cup your face, drawing you closer so his lips could find yours again.

You whispered a ‘yes’ into the kiss, but were unsure if he heard it. He didn’t have to anyway, he already knew the answer.

Well hope you guys liked it!! It feels so good to be back. Likes and reblogs are always appreciated and dont be affraid to tell me your thoughts on the fic. Thank you so much!!! <3

taglist pt1:

@glassdanse @2manytabsopen @tazeboes @barbienoturbby @nilspettersson @sweetlittlegingy @mcsteamylove98 @ttylfedora @chieflawyerpastatoad @iwantahockeyhimbo @cherrymaybank @fallinallincurls @samsteel @jordiee95 @heatherawoowoo @tysonsjosty @barzysreputation @stars-canucks @farabeezers @4ambagelbites @kaitieskidmore1 @sodalatte @hotgirlhockey @matwith1t @tseggys91 @audryahoo @maximoff-xmenn @astrydiss @barzysandmarnersbitch @joelsfarabees @bitchforbarzyy @caufieldmakesmesmile @deloughreyey @thotforthedevilsils @brias1201 @besthockeyfics @ya-pucking-nerd @Dreamer1430 @hoiyheadharpies @notanaccount-anymore @wambach1 @abbisamson @mckenna4 @rosesvioletshardy @tysonjost-taylorsversion @noeaerialist @cybertradgedies @hockeyunits @canadiansassymama78 @whoeverineedtobe @siriusly-parker @captainbarnes12 @brandtsclarke @ilyasorokinn

if your url is crossed out im sorry but for some reason it wont let me tag you, also if you've changed your url and would like to still be in the taglist please let me know and obviously if you want to be taken out of the taglist just let me know no hard feelings i promise <3

1K notes · View notes

babydollfoster · 10 months

Text

First Date with Team Free Will

a/n: i honest to god don’t think i’ve posted a fic on here despite how much i talk about it >_<!! so here’s somethin i threw together in the span of a couple of hours because i’m on a rewatch and i’m halfway thru s4 and i LOVE the boys:( so here! proof i can write, not just talk about it! also afaik you can read this as any gender :) fem, masc, neither, both… don’t think there’s any defining qualities. much love!

pairings: sam winchester/reader, dean winchester/reader, castiel/reader

warnings: fluff, implied sexual content (w/ dean)

SAM

he’s SUCH a romantic. god, look at him, just- when he asked you, so sweet ‘nd kind, if he could take you out some night, how could you say no? dean gives his blessing by handing over the impala’s keys the next day and you and sam end up at a secondhand bookstore. you judge books by their covers and eventually settle on swapping something you enjoyed for the other’s; sam slips you a book called their eyes were watching god (“don’t- don’t give me that look. the title isn’t ‘cringe’! it’s beautiful. i promise you’ll enjoy it.”) and you hand rebecca over with a beaming grin, which falls into a look of surprise when you learn he hasn’t read it (“it’s a classic! how- okay, it’s a slow start, but you’ll love it.”) you grab takeout (your pick, sam insisted) and end up at a park, rolling a dusty picnic blanket out from the depths of the trunk and sitting under a tree, swapping quips and comments every once in a while. eventually, you end up with your head in sam’s lap and his hand in your hair, neither of you paying attention to your books no more, no, now you’re just… talking. it’s domestic and loving and romantic so you sit up, weasel your way into sammy’s lap and kiss him so delicately and he does the same back until you’re both almost devouring each other, literally stealing the other’s breath until you pull away, panting and giggling until sam whispers, “can we do this again?” and you whisper “every single day, sam.”

DEAN — MDNI, 16+

he sticks to the classics. he takes you out for dinner at the nearest diner and a midnight showing of whatever horror movie is out right now. you share a bucket of popcorn as you’re snuggled in the back right corner, cackling at cheesy jumpscares (“oh, i’m sooo scared.” “shut up, dee!”) and dry fake screams before you stumble back into baby after having smuggled in a flask of whiskey and collapse into the front bench, still too buzzed to drive, and kiss each other until your heads spin and the stars blur into one. eventually you pull away long enough for dean to drive you to the motel and you collapse into bed together; nothing happens, no, not on his first date with you. he wants to treat you right, sweetheart, but you’re both stripped down to your underwear nonetheless and hold each other close like it’s the last thing you’ll ever do. the next morning, on the other hand, once the headache has set in and you’re oh so beautiful in the morning light, dean settles himself between your legs and noses your thighs apart. who are you to say no when dean’s right there and ready, huh?

CASTIEL

cas hasn’t ‘dated’, not on earth, certainly not in heaven, but he rifled through his host’s distant memories and took some inspiration from when jimmy courted amelia. so when cas slips his hands into yours one darkened evening, standing on the sidewalk in light rain, and asks if he ‘could take you out sometime’, you smirk and say, “how’d you learn that one?” but you agree nonetheless, and let the angel take the reigns. he whisks you away, dropping a message to sam and dean that you’re both in california and will be for the next three days and not to worry, he’ll bring you back unharmed (the boys freak, but you both ignore their calls). he takes you window-shopping, you eat at famous spots in LA and spend a little too much money, you sit atop the hollywood sign and learn the constellations, you teach cas how to have fun late one night at the beach and when you’re both breathless, backs covered in sand as you stare up at the heavens, he turns his head to you and asks, “may i kiss you?” and you whisper, “i thought you’d never ask.” and sure, he’s a little clueless, but he’s confident in how he has the rest of forever to learn how to please you, the way a human would.

taglist: no one yet! ask away :)

244 notes · View notes

twig-tea · 4 months

Text

10[ish] BL Boys People I Want Carnally

Tagged by @bengiyo who knows I am bad at short lists but also went over 10 on his own list, so everyone should just...not count as you scroll lol. Also warning that in the spirit of this tag game I am probably thirstier here than I've ever been on this site so if that isn't your jam, just scroll along!

BL characters who I absolutely Would, if given a chance (no homewrecking, we're playing by the rules of no-strings-no-relationship-just-getting-wrecked).

Mawin (Ingredients the Series)

Is it cheating to choose a character who basically is Jeff Satur? Maybe. But he's a musician with strong hands and emo hair and I am weak.

Dr. Jedi (Oxygen the Series)

I know we all blocked the doctor subplot from our minds. But this man was quiet, caring, and thirsting for years, he's got some pent-up aggression to get out and I volunteer as tribute. Also he's both extremely competent and a sad boi, two qualities I find very attractive. And that spiky hair is begging to be pulled.

Choi Yu Na (Semantic Error)

While the boys were running around being their messy selves, Yu Na was being a calm, competent, bisexual queen. The embodiment of "do I want to do her or be her", but in this case the answer is definitely both. Guh. I legitimately can't sentence when she's on the screen.

Gumpa (Not Me the series)

This show is of course filled with attractive men. But only one of them has built a found family and resistance group in his garage and was the only one who knew White wasn't Black, and look we've already established that competence is a kink of mine.

Namo (Not Me the series)

Ok but also Namo was smart enough to Not Get Involved, and she was artistic, and also gave off a kind of sad boi energy, and goddd her style in this. She wouldn't even need to do anything except let me worship her, I would do all the work.

Naruse Ryu (Ossan's Love: In the Sky)

Controversial but NGL one of the troubles I had with this AU S2 was that Naruse was so attractive I just wanted him to get laid and be happy. He's a competent, beautiful, confident, slightly bratty sad boi who isn't afraid to put you where he wants you; we could have fun.

YoonWon (The Eighth Sense)

This woman holds together the whole swim club, casually drinks everyone under the table, and gets her man, all while taking absolutely nothing seriously for most of the show. She can get me first.

Tua Phee (Dear Doctor, I'm Coming For Soul)

Tall, brooding, competent, caring, sad boi....clearly I have a type. Plus, he literally disappears, guaranteeing no complications.

In (180 Degrees Longitude)

OK YES I SEE A THEME [Note: Wang could also get it but I don't know if I could match his energy. In, on the other hand, this man looks like he jackhammers until you're done and then stares at a wall].

Yamato Kumai (Restart Tadaima no Ato De)

Please, no wonder Mitsuomi saw him and immediately latched on like a limpet. He's just the right amount of listless that he'd be down for whatever, but not enough that he wouldn't get into it.

Maya (Laws of Attraction)

The choice between Rose and Maya was EXCRUCIATING but while both could step on me, Maya would also let me step on them and I am nothing if not verse. Also the tattoos! And again do I need to repeat: Musicians have strong fingers.

Sunny (Our Dating Sim)

Extremely queer-coded, quiet, competent, tall, sad boi energy, would definitely tell me what she wants and expect that I meet her standards.

Kim (Diary of Tootsies)

NGL I love Natty in this show but she got elbowed out of the way by this man. We know from the show he has game, and we've already established I'm here for verse behaviour. Let's all ignore that he also has floppy hair.

Jay (Discipline Z: Vampire)

This was a close call with Ji Han (tall, floppy dark hair, sad boi, competent, we all know the drill by now) but in my heart of hearts honesty, when I think of Jay in her giant boots and her hacking skills I drool a little.

Daisy (Secret Crush on You)

I admit I don't usually prefer the 'innocence ready to be moulded' as a thing, but Daisy walks that confident/lack of confidence line so well that I think once they were comfortable we'd have fun and they could use me for practice all they want. [This is one in particular where I would 100% be down for a threesome. These two would not let you feel like a third wheel!]

Nawin (Laws of Attraction)

This is the man who defies all my rules and in breaking them is extremely hot. He's unhinged. He's massively entitled. He's baby. He's exactly the type to get obsessed after a one night stand. He's not particularly effective. AND YET. When he runs on screen covered in blood, wearing bloody knuckles, with a massive dorky grin on his face? Everything in me said IN ME (at least he has floppy hair, I am still predictable in one way).

ALRIGHT I'M STOPPING THERE.

tagging @wen-kexing-apologist @sorry-bonebag; @sparklyeyedhimbo; @respectthepetty; @isaksbestpillow; @slayerkitty; @wanderlust-in-my-soul

#tag game #multi bl #bl meta #not tagging shows to hide my thirst

72 notes · View notes

princesachicana · 2 years

Text

𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐮𝐧𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐩𝐭.𝟑 (conrad fisher x reader) (𝐜𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐫𝐨𝐧 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫)

𝐩𝐭.𝟏 𝐩𝐭.𝟐

a/n: pls let me know your thoughts on this! not confident in my writing as i was the other parts give me feedback pls!!

also comment if you would like to be added to my tsitp taglist

Nervous. Nervous. Nervous

That was the only feeling you had at the moment, today would be your first date with cameron. He’d refused to tell you where you were going, the only advice he could give was “dress casual” Was it bad that you didn’t know exactly what that meant? Of course you wanted to look good for him, but you didn’t want to show up all dressy and him actually stick to the casual look.

“Belly, you’re totally not helping!” You whine as you examine an outfit in the mirror. “I’m pretty sure you could show up wearing a trash bag and he’d still be foaming at the mouth for you!” Belly declares with a smirk. “That’s so cliche to say, shut up!” You laughed. The summer dress you had on did wonders for your body, and just now you remembered a comment cameron made a few months back. “He likes when i wear dresses.” You muttered to yourself, but with belly being on the other line of the phone she heard as well.

“Ohh so he’s mentioned that before?” Belly questioned all ready to hear. “Well yes, last month I wore a dress to the beach and he said that it made me stand out.” You gushed, feeling a warm feeling in the pit of your belly. “That’s so cute, so what happened after you had that hot make out session on the beach?” Belly piqued up with another question. “I already told you, he walked me home and maybe we made out some more on my couch.” You probably relived that night more than once, cameron was something special.

And yes, he walked you home. You could tell it hurt Cameron’s feelings when you attempted to walk home alone, but that was what you were used to. You didn’t know how a boy operated when they actually liked a girl. You’ve always thought they were after one thing, Sex. Cameron hadn’t once tried to make a move on you sexually, he’d always have a conversation with you, he wanted to spend quality time with you, he wanted you for you not your body.

And as he walked you home from the beach that night, not once had he let go of your hand that was laced with his. Every-time someone walked past the two of you he’d pull you a little closer as well as place a kiss onto your forehead. He wasn’t ashamed of you, he wanted to show you off. Why had you never made a move on cameron before he was perfect?

“Lots,and lots of making out girl, don’t make me tell your mom!” Belly joked pulling you from your thoughts. You were about to reply with a smart remark when your phone buzzed with a notification.

Conrad: why have you been ignoring me?

Conrad: did i do something?

Conrad: let’s meet around midnight. I wanna talk.

Conrad: so you’re seeing cameron now?

God when was he going to stop? You were angry, he had been bothering you for about a week now. Every night he texted you asking to meet up, all of them of course went unanswered and apparently he was getting impatient now. You knew what he meant by “talking” it meant that he wanted to have sex with you. Conrad never just wanted to “talk and hang out” with you, you weren’t even sure if he knew that.

You quickly blocked his number, done and over with you thought. Why couldn’t he just go bother one of his other girls? It would probably be easier contacting them, he wasn’t ashamed of having them around his arms. Conrad Fisher was something of your past now and you wanted to keep it that way. Cameron was your now and he was like a breath of fresh air.

“You look wow-“ Cameron stuttered he was flustered. “Beautiful” he finished after a second. “Thank you!” You accepted the compliment, kissing him on the lips. “You look nice!” You studied his outfit, red was definitely his color. He smiled against your lips. “Compared to you, I’m alright.” He took your hand giving it a firm squeeze. “Is it bad that I’m like really nervous right now?” he asked self consciously. You shook your head no immediately, “I’m nervous too” you kissed him one last time before pulling away.

“Lead the way!” You dramatically stepped away. With his hand still linked with yours you both began walking. “So where are we going?” You tried to slyly throw the question into the air. “Nope, not telling you it’s a surprise!” He laughed pulling you towards his car. “A surprise? Wow you really outdid yourself cameron.” He propped open the passenger door for you letting you step in. As he joined you inside the car he reached over grabbing your hand again, “this okay?” You smiled “Of course.”

About 10 minutes into the car ride, very casual but interesting conversations. You pulled your phone out wanting to document this. Cameron had yet to pull his hand away, he’d been driving this whole time with one hand, so he’d be able to hold yours the entire ride. You quickly opened up the camera on your phone, first you started with y’all’s linked hands that were in the middle console, you slowly moved the camera towards Cameron his focus on driving. When he finally noticed that you were recording he brought your linked hands up to his lips, giving light kisses.

With out thought you posted the cute video on your social media.

Cameron. Cameron. Cameron

After your date yesterday, you both decided to officially see each other. You weren’t exactly boyfriend and girlfriend but you both agreed to not see anyone else. The date yesterday was something out of the books, you know when the love interest remembers every single thing about the girl? that’s what it felt like.

He’d taken you out to a steak house you’ve raved about trying for about 2 years. The boy didn’t even eat meat and he still made it work. And that pottery class you’ve always wanted to take? Yeah he took you there! Even with your god awful sculptures you made, the day was amazing.

You were currently setting up a cute little movie night on your porch, the projector you borrowed from the Conklin’s already set up. Cameron would be here in fifteen minutes. After rearranging the pillows for about the 3rd time you liked how it all came together.

“So this its why you’ve been dodging my calls?” The voice sent you into defensive mode immediately. “What are you doing here Conrad? the suns not even down yet!” You turned towards him clearly angry. “What is that supposed to mean?” He asked bringing his arms across his chest. “I mean isn’t that when we would usually hang out?” You laughed looking at him in his eyes. “Or whatever you wanna call it, hook up, have sex, fuck” You shrugged taking a step closer.

“What was wrong with the type of relationship that we had?” Conrad asked, you don’t know if he was being an asshole or if he actually didn’t know what he did to you. “You used me every single time, you’re not interested in me! you like having sex with me!” Conrad looked down with a smirk, he wasn’t being serious. “So cameron’s interested in you?” Why couldn’t he just stay away? “Yeah he is”You started to speak but were interrupted by Conrad. “And how would you know that?” He asked with a smug expression.

“Because he likes spending time with me, he makes sure I’m okay at night, he walks me home, he calls me pretty, and he’s the first guy who made me realize that I don’t have to sexualize myself to be loved.” You were now full on crying, your emotions getting the best of you because Conrad didn’t deserve to see you cry. “I’m with him right now…because this is the best I’ve ever felt in a really long time….I don’t feel like I have to give my body away to please him.” You finished your sentence with a sob, you were grasping for breath.

“Just please leave me alone-“ You started but your words paused as lips were planted on yours. No.No.No this isn’t what you wanted. You pushed Conrad off you immediately, you took four steps back, angry and confused. “Why the fuck did you kiss me?” He looked distressed, unable to form words “I don’t know I just thought-“ You were the one to interrupt him this time. “You thought that I was gonna let you? You thought that i was gonna fall back into your manipulative ways?” Conrad shook his head, he looked guilty.

“Just go,that’s all I want .” You whispered, eyes planted onto the ground. You watched as Conrad slowly walked away from your porch. What the fuck just happened?

He never showed up.

You left about three voicemails and two text messages since then. Cameron didn’t seem like the type to bail on a date. So ultimately you were worried about him, and as you laid on your bed that night, you had no idea that cameron was heartbroken.

Unknown to you, he’d seen you and Conrad’s kiss, he’d only missed the part where you pushed him away.

TAGS: @gillybear17 @snowsharkk @tessastle @conradsupporterr @alyssa-cabrera @eranthisphiny @xoxoloverb @lostaurorax @lanisdreams @alexzluvz @lalaland-notfound @liltimmyst @unsaidjaelineose @buckys2thicc @lilygreennn @t8lzw @medusaslilsister @1-800-stilinski @yazmi710 @j-brielmalfoy @ashcannotwrite @colbysbrocks @exonct07 @multilover19 (SRRY IF FORGOT TO TAG YOUU!!)

#the summer i turned pretty #jeremiah fisher #conrad fisher #jeremiah fisher x reader #conrad fisher x reader #tsitp fanfic #belly conklin #x reader #tsitp #tsitp imagines #tsitp series #conrad fisher smut #the summer i turned pretty fanfic #conrad fisher and jeremiah fisher #cousins beach

1K notes · View notes