Every crime show has an episode:
A high school reunion murder
A killer with diplomatic immunity that still gets arrested through some outrageous loophole
There's always an episode where a psychic comes forward to help. Everyone will be extremely wary of the psychic except for one person. And the psychic will end up being correct.
Murderous twins. They're often separated at birth. All the investigators will make a joke about it being twins and then are SHOCKED when it actually does turn out to be twins.
Killer child. Literally just a little kid that kills (usually another little kid)
An episode that villianizes people with DID. (sometimes the writers do a 2 for 1 special and make one of the "alters" a different gender so that they can both villianize mentally ill people, AND make transphobic jokes 🙃)
Sleepwalking murderer
Murder by proxy via hypnosis. Similar to the psychic, most of the team will be very skeptical.
Someone finds a body in a time capsule
Some killer that just got like WAY too into Dantes Inferno
Murder victim that has multiple families/wives
Murder at a roller derby. This episode will usually give off big sapphic vibes
Feel free to add more!
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PROMPTS FROM CSI: CRIME SCENE INVESTIGATION
* assorted dialogue from season 3 of the show, adjust as necessary
everybody knew it, and nobody came forward.
you were in the car?
why didn't you just tell the police?
so let me get this straight. you decide to become one of them.
revenge is best served cold.
i get one phone call, right?
one must lie in the bed one has made.
you all right? don't let him get to you like that.
i was scared. and i still am. don't tell anyone, okay?
this wasn't just a murder.
don't touch me.
is this some kind of convention?
i guess i realized it's nice to see eye to eye with someone.
i get the impression that's a little tough for you.
i think we look for the differences in each other to prove that we're not alone.
you know, i hate it when he does that.
you know i could do this for you.
that had to be scary, huh?
i didn't have time to be scared.
deep down we're all narcissists.
what attracts us the most is ourselves.
is that who i think it is?
i guess clothes do make the man.
the only thing between me and a wardrobe like this is a few extra zeros on my paycheck.
this... this one just felt different.
it's not fake blood. it's human.
you killed her.
you missed me by a mile.
tell me something i don't know.
in fourth grade, i dropped out of karate class because a kid half my size made me cry.
don't insult me. luck is for those without skill.
we're gonna have to dismantle this piece by piece.
i think i can handle this.
we're up in a tree, and you're quoting poe.
you are what you throw away.
heard you got to be a superhero today.
you're my hero, [name].
i like those odds.
that's for you to find out.
if you handle them correctly, snakes are harmless.
have you ever seen anything like this before?
you don't just spontaneously develop a fatal head wound.
can you prove that?
i'm so tired of hearing that. i've heard it a million times.
you gotta get a girlfriend.
i thought we had a relationship!
i have no idea what you're talking about.
the best intentions are fraught with disappointment.
i can take care of this myself.
i'm just repeating what i've heard.
you're a good listener.
you already seem to know the answers to your questions.
i'm losing my balance.
there's a sucker born every minute.
you know, guys don't like that.
what happened to your enthusiasm?
what do you think caused these marks?
i wasn't being rude. i was being curt.
i like silent movies.
you sure you don't want me to do this?
it's physically impossible to absorb a fatal dose of cocaine through the penis.
we have a bigger problem than we thought we did.
i'm not looking at you.
the schedule says you're off tonight.
would you like to have dinner with me?
let's have dinner. let's see what happens.
by the time you figure it out, it really could be too late.
i wish you had come to me sooner.
i'm not going with you.
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I love a good medical drama. My mother, a nurse, raised me on ER and General Hospital, always pointing out all the plot lines that “would never happen in real life” but were really cool to watch on TV. My mother credits ER with pushing her toward her decades-long career in the operating room. So when I, a poor lost college sophomore who had gone to school to play French horn (French horn!) and found it wasn’t what I thought it would be, I did what I knew best to do and turned to TV. And on TV, I found House.
House had it all: a painkiller-addicted doctor with a smart mouth and a slap-worthy face, medical mysteries solved via CSI-style case-of-the-week format, and a beleaguered crew of sidekick physicians whose instincts were never quite as good as House’s. I would spend each episode studying the setup and trying to unravel what the medical culprit could be before the ultimate reveal. Instead of realizing that what I might want to be was a writer with a good plot, I missed the mark and decided I wanted to be a doctor.
Want to feel like you’re watching House, M.D. this Tuesday morning? Dig into Lisa Bubert’s new reading list on medical mysteries!
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