#also how did this happen I only have 164 followers
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I'm starting to see why we all hate having popular posts
#that poll I posted is getting 5 notes per second I swear#and it's only at 1k notes! I can't imagine how awful having a 100k note post would be#also how did this happen I only have 164 followers#I know I tagged a bunch of shit but. still. what.#queer rambles
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Mad Max And The Week Long Tickle War part 1
Fandom: Stranger Things
Characters: Max/Lucas, Will
Summary: Lucas beats Max in a game at the arcade and he’s being a little TOO gleeful about it.
A/N: Based on a prompt I got that has now turned into a whole collaborative project with @hypahticklish and @lesbian-byers! Stay tuned for six more parts with one fic a day for the rest of the week!
Words: 1 164
(Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5) (Part 6) (Part 7)
At one point in their relationship they’d stopped going to the arcade together, although Max still went on her own from time to time, when she needed space, or when Lucas was busy playing DnD. Something about how she’d beat the boys before they even knew each other had become a sore spot and while she wasn’t one to avoid doing things just because others didn’t like that she was good at something, she found no reason to rub it in. It would just create tension, even if Lucas was a good sport about it now.
Sometimes she just ended up there anyway, her skateboard having steered her in the direction of the town, her hair tangled from the wind, her knees still scarred from accidents past, and she would stand outside as a 14 year old and enter as 11, hopeful and alone. Lucas caught her once, not asking her anything but if she’d had fun, pressing a kiss to her temple when she nodded.
“We should go,” Lucas said one day, pointing at the poster announcing the shiny new game that was coming to the arcade the following weekend.
“You think?” She watched his reaction and found only excitement. “Okay.”
She should’ve known it had all been in her own head. Lucas wasn’t insecure and never had been, especially not when it came to her, and so they eventually returned to the arcade, hand in hand, just for her to lose to him.
“You cheated,” she said automatically, knowing he didn’t and that she was only human. It didn’t even really matter. She wasn’t a sore loser, but the words had slipped out anyway, used to having to defend herself, and were probably what turned Lucas into a bad winner in return.
“Did not,” he said, grinning so smugly at her that she nearly forgot how much she adored his smile.
She huffed and flicked her hair over her shoulder, finding it easy to blame it for disrupting her concentration, easy to blame the lack of sleep from the night before, easy to blame the way he’d placed his fingers over the small of her back and kept them there. “Did so.”
“Oh, okay, and how exactly did I cheat?” He tilted his head at her in mock innocence, all raised eyebrows, all playfulness.
She shrugged. “I don’t know. Let’s play again and I’ll figure it out.”
“Mm, no. I don’t think so.”
“What, why not?”
“You think I’m stupid enough to play again when I won for once? Nuh uh. We’re leaving this place with me as the winner.” He then made the mistake of poking her, which made Max instinctively lunge for him, fingers on his ribs, digging in gently enough to have him howling, but he pushed her off quickly and much more easily than he tended to when they were alone.
“Don’t be a sore loser,” he said as they exited, the clouds ominous enough for them to pick up their pace, and Max was ready for the poke this time and evaded it.
“Better be careful, Sinclair,” she warned him. “Or I’ll go for the hips next.”
Only Lucas, naturally, wouldn’t stop gloating. Once they reached the Byers’ house, just about avoiding getting soaked, he’d told not only Will about his win, but also Jonathan, Joyce and Nancy, who happened to be there.
He had it coming, really.
Will sat and watched them without interrupting as Max pinned Lucas to the floor, going straight for his hips with no mercy. Lucas missed his window of escaping and lay there in hysterics almost instantly, kicking his feet and shaking his head and calling out Max’s name without success. Max wrecked him anyway, claiming he deserved it for gloating. Claiming he had it coming when he’d first poked her.
But really, the most glaringly obvious reason, which she hoped neither he nor Will would figure out, was that she’d missed hearing his laughter like this; all high pitched, all vulnerable and open. All her doing.
And yeah, maybe she kinda wanted to take him down a notch too.
“Stop!” he cried, trying to grab her wrists. “Max, please!”
“Apologize for being a bad winner.”
“I’m sor-”
“I don’t believe you.”
Lucas squealed when she went for his neck, his hands flailing and his hips bucking so that she was nearly flung off. He was bigger than her and she’d not managed to trap him properly, so she knew this had the chance of ending too quickly for her liking.
Will was laughing from the couch, and when Max looked at him he was watching them intently, amusement so clearly written on his face. “You wanna help?”
Will seemed surprised. He was much more quiet nowadays, keeping to himself as if scared he wasn’t welcome anymore, even though they all still dropped into his house as if they lived there, which had apparently been something they used to do as children. Max found herself here more than her own home lately, what with everyone gravitating toward the house, the old house from before, as if to reassure themselves that, yes, the Byers were back and they were all okay.
“Sit on him,” she said, sliding off of Lucas ever so slightly. “And deal with his hands.”
Will didn’t protest. He didn’t say anything at all at first. Simply got up and took her place, placing his feet on each side of him. He wasn’t uncertain - he’d probably grown up with this - but he seemed timid, as if he’d forgotten how to act.
He only spoke when Lucas, gasping for air now that Max had stopped tickling him, met his eye pleadingly. “Better you than me.”
Lucas’ protests were drowned out by his own laughter when Max went for his neck again. Will quickly tried to grab his wrists, but Lucas, seemingly aware that he would be screwed if that happened, started struggling even more. It was only once they realized that there was no containing those hands that Will decided to join in by spidering his fingers up Lucas’ ribs, just a couple of times, just to make him scream.
It was enough. Lucas did scream. Lucas threw his head back and screamed, just one long sound, and they were all laughing afterward, Will shushing him through his giggles and Max retreating from his neck in order to let him breathe, and Lucas lay panting with a smile so beautiful etched on his lips that Max nearly wanted to scream herself.
“Are you gonna behave?” she asked him, catching Will’s eye just for long enough for him to grin knowingly at her, which embarrassingly enough embarrassed her.
“Y-yes,” he said, slapping at Will’s knee. “Get off of me you traitor.”
Will let out a laugh and did as he was told. “I’m just happy to be involved.”
“Oh, you’ll be involved all right when I get you.”
Something flickered across Will’s face; something briefly worried, but predominantly excited.
Oh Will.
#tickling#lumax#lumax fic#stranger things#ticklish!lucas#n writes#Mad Max And The Week Long Tickle War#Mad Max And The Week Long Tickle War part 1
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I posted 453 times in 2022
That's 403 more posts than 2021!
125 posts created (28%)
328 posts reblogged (72%)
Blogs I reblogged the most:
@redoaktreehill
@gentrychild
@ravelights
@rain-coat-killer
@psychomurderz
I tagged 276 of my posts in 2022
Only 39% of my posts had no tags
#bnha - 164 posts
#all for one - 133 posts
#boku no hero academia - 57 posts
#midoriya izuku - 57 posts
#dad for one - 56 posts
#mha - 38 posts
#my hero academia - 32 posts
#yoichi shigaraki - 23 posts
#izuku midoriya - 22 posts
#bnha spoilers - 22 posts
Longest Tag: 137 characters
#i actually didn’t look at the original while i was drawing i just remembered it from my head and was shocked to se how much i had changed
My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
So is the little villain au DFO? If so, it's hilarious to imagine AFO's reaction when he tracks down this new upstart villain who's been making a nightmare for the HPSC (good) but hasn't paid proper homage to him (bad), only to find out its his adorable five year old, founding a new criminal empire already! They grow up so fast! Now he can have all sorts of new daddy son experiences!
Yeah this is basically what happened, at first All for One thought someone was using Izuku because his son was five, but nope, Izuku did it all on his own. You can imagine the whiplash All for One got from finding this out, for a man that has seen everything that was a first. Although how I imagined them meeting changed this was originally the prompt for it:
All for One had been struggling through a unnecessarily hard process of meeting the boss of a growing villainess organisation, that seems to know how everything goes before it happens. But no matter how much All for One tried, the members refuse to let him have any contact with their leader. It isn't until after he forces his way into one of the organisations strong holds and finally come face to face with their mysterious leader did he realise why they been so relucted.
"What's wrong?" A four year old with green curly hair, and freckles yawned, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. Having just woken up from his afternoon nap, something he couldn't escape from these days.
All for One stared down at his four old son, sleepily tumble off his bed, blanket still in hand. "Oh" All for One whispered, not quite sure if he should be proud or angry, so he chose surprised instead.
582 notes - Posted March 12, 2022
#4
I know it's not official so grain of salt; but this is really sus that AFO knows that
A) Bakugou grew up watching All might winning and wanting to be just like him (to win).
B) The fact that he also knows that Bakugou was blinded by his ego, instead of what Tomura though of before was that Bakugou was oppressed in hero society.
And C) AFO knows that Bakugou feared being in Izuku shadow no matter how hard he tried to be stronger then Izuku.
it's disturbing that AFO knows so much about Bakugou fears that have stemmed from his childhood, and considering that Bakugou was friends with the doctors grandson, I have a feeling AFO been keeping an eye on Bakugou for a lot longer then realises.
674 notes - Posted July 22, 2022
#3
Please tell us more about tiny villain, time-traveller, Izuku. It’s a delightful au
Sure!
Some more funny facts over this:
-Despite being a five year old boy who looks like a cinnamon roll that could kill you, Nagant find Izuku miles better then her old employees and becomes the wine aunt group.
-She convinces Hawks to join them via hot gossip, chicken wings and the joint power of flipping off the commission together.
-All for One follows around Izuku when the boy is doing his jobs, so you have little pre-school Izuku running around trying to set up an organisation with All for One chilling in the background, occasionally helping Izuku reach tall places.
-This backfires one day when they run into All Might at the shops.
-Izuku stops Toya from exploding into flames by spraying water on him every time he burst into flames.
-Toya follows Izuku soon after, he say it's because of the fire resistance quirk he got, but Toya also set Izuku up to play with Shoto every now and again, so yeah.
-When AFO finds out Izuku ate the replica of his quirk to get it, he never lets the child live it down.
-Izuku also takes quirks from AFO, but never anyone else, he get's them ethically, like a good kid, AFO the exception.
-Izuku meets Tomura and humbles him real fast, but then Tomura also basically adopts Izuku as his little brother
-Inko is has an interesting backstory in this AU.
-Izuku doesn't know All for One is his dad, everyone else guess it five minutes into seeing them together.
-Doctor Ujiro and Izuku hate each others guts, but unfortunately the Doc is the only one who can treat the All for One quirk and Izuku injuries.
-Izuku lowkey ditches bakugou because there are more pressing matters and bakugou actually misses Izuku.
-Izuku really underestimates learning to control All for One the quirk.
730 notes - Posted March 11, 2022
#2
Izuku travels back in time fix it AU...with a twist.
11 pm idea that hit me one night (might have been done before but hey, here's my turn at the idea) Izuku is transported back into his Five year old self, and has the chance to do everything all over again; and makes things right this time...
But there are several problems getting in the way of saving everyone, namely that he's a quirkless five year old, that has none of his friends, allies or strength he had in his teens. All of them don't know he exist, plus half of them are toddlers. There's also a lot of stuff that won't happen until much later, not to mention he isn't sure how a lot of stuff came to be. He has no idea how Dabi survived were toga grew up, and Tomura has already killed his family four years prior and is living somewhere with All for One.
He knows won't get OFA until he's fifteen, and he's not even sure he might this time around. Because changing history means that All Might won't get injured and never have a reason to pass it on. Getting it when he's four would be impossible since he's young, and because people might not believe him when he say's he from the future, and can he blame them?
So after thinking over all the options, Izuku decides that if he can't be a hero, then he's going to be a villain...or at least pretend to be one so that he can stop the villains before they become huge threats. Basically Izuku decides to fight fire with fire, which he cranks up to 100 because he know a way to get a strong power that could go toe to toe with All for One and the person to go to get it from.
So Izuku sneaks into All for One doctors office and get's a hold of the replica of All for One quirk, with added hijinks. Now Izuku my have the replica nicely stored away in a glass tube, but he doesn't know how to acquire it... so he just decides to eat it because it worked the first time.
It's not meant to work like that, but for Izuku it does, after falling sick for like three days. Because eating a quirk wasn't the best idea. But who cares Izuku now got All for One, foresight on future events and his New villain career to kick off at the ripe old age of five.
And boy does he go off with a bang, by breaking Nagant out of Tartarus (Izuku needed a body guard, and Nagant was innocent), convincing hawks to run away from the HC (it was Nagant idea really) and recruiting the number two hero eldest son (Well Toya more recruited himself) among other things.
This unsurprisingly, this get's All for One's attention, but Izuku sure that he won't get caught because who would expect "quirkless five year old Deku" to the the next be up and coming villain? Apparently All for One, because the guy awkwardly walks in to his preschool one day, picks him up and is both quite shocked and amused to find this villain, that's been causing the Hero commission so much strife, is just a four year old boy.
Izuku thinks this might be the end, but instead of snipping of this bud before it grow, All for One decides he'll let Izuku keep doing what he's doing, because the whole things amusing. Except Izuku still "only a baby, not quite a big bad villain yet" so All for One will be "probably supervising" Izuku growth into villainy.
Izuku doesn't know weather to yell in joy at getting a one up on All for One or scream in anguish that now he's got the worst villain in the world making him his personal pet project.
Izuku decides to burn that bridge when he get's there.
I have more of this AU if anyone wants to know about it, but just baby toddler villain Izuku getting followed around by his older villain father, during his first errands. All dress up in his preschool uniform carry several books on "how to commit crimes and get away with it" well telling AFO to buzz off.
1,658 notes - Posted March 11, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
Fun chapter this week.
1,896 notes - Posted August 3, 2022
Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →
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Fanfiction 21 Q&A Tag Game
Many thanks to @cg29 and @onereyofstarlight for the tags ::hugs::
1. What fandoms have you written for?
According to FF.net: Stargate SG-1, Knight Rider, Farscape, Stargate Atlantis, Supernatural, Star Trek: The Original Series, Angel and Thunderbirds.
2. How many works do you have on Ao3 &/or FFNet?
Ao3: 214 (210 Thunderbirds)
FF.net: 235 (178 Thunderbirds)
3. What are your top 3 fics by kudos on A03 &/or favs on FFNet?
Ao3 Kudos:
Gumnut’s Thunderbirds Ficlet Collection (161)
Who do You Save, John? (107)
Dirt (106)
FFNet Favs:
The Asgard Sequence (SG-1) (150) – this fic is 17 years old
Spectator (ST:TOS) (73)
The Empty Chessboard (ST:TOS) (50)
Highest Thunderbirds fic is A Good Day (36)
4. Which 3 fics have the least kudos & favs?
Ao3:
Tactics (4)
To Raise Havoc (5)
Gumnut’s were!Virgil AU ficlets (6)
FFNet:
Gumnut’s Angel Ficlet collection (0)
Gumnut’s Supernatural Ficlet Collection (0)
Stars (SG-1) (0)
Lowest Thunderbirds fic is Gumnut’s wereVirgil AU ficlets (1)
5. Which Fic has the most comments and which has the least?
This stat will always be skewed by the multi-chapter fics and wonderful peeps comment on each of the chapters.
Ao3 Comment Threads:
Gumnut’s Thunderbirds Ficlet Collection (164) followed by We’ll Be Home For Christmas (79) both of which have more comments than kudos, apparently.
12 fics have 0 comments
FFNet:
The Asgard Sequence (SG-1)(133) followed by Tales of Warm Rain (105)
11 fics have 1 review, 0 have none (wow).
6. Which complete fic do you wish had gotten more attention?
I am grateful for any and all kind interaction with my fics. One thing I did eye was the difference between Callisto and Where There Be Dragons. Callisto is an experiment on my part and has received some amazing support from Thunderfam. However, I feel my writing hasn’t been as inspired (or crazy) or posted fast enough to garner and keep attention. The Steampunk AU grabbed much more attention, had zero planning, was written fast and on the fly and grabbed almost the same amount of attention. The Promotions Coordinator in me is curious about these things :D
7. Have you written any crossovers?
Only one. I wanted to put Virgil behind the wheel of Kitt from Knight Rider. Eos and Kitt were having very interesting interactions as well :D I really Need Saving
8. What is the craziest fic you’ve written?
Um…there have been a few. From Tracy brothers dancing to Tom Jones, the time a drunk Scott and Virgil tried to save a cat from a tree, hospitalising Virgil because of Grandma’s chilli, and the time I jammed Thunderbird One in the pool, but my favourite has to be Prank War. It was so much fun. I’ve linked all the nutty fics together in a series on Ao3.
9. What’s the fic you’ve written with the saddest ending?
The saddest endings are all my WiPs! I don’t tend to do much in the way of sad endings. Sad fics, yes, endings, not so much. Having said that, I’m blaming @godsliltippy for Leaf on the Wind.
10. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?
I don’t have a clue, but I am partial to the end of Dirt. I got to flex Tracy money muscle…a lot :D
11. What is your smuttiest fic?
I experimented in this arena during my Virgil/Kayo writing spree with varying success. There is about five I think in total, including the novel length Gentle Rain (which can be read without it, wasn’t planned and just happened), but I think the most successful was To Hurt Us (aka Veggie’s Shower Fic).
12. Have you ever received hate on a fic?
Very, very rarely. I did receive one review once that complained about how many unfinished fics I had – that more were unfinished than finished. This triggered me a bit as this is an ongoing problem of mine and I struggle to focus long enough to complete works. Having said that I have completed several, for me, long fics, my longest being 68,000 words. Also, as a result of that and my distressed post about it (yeah, triggered, what can I say?) I received some amazing support both on and off Tumblr. Thunderfam rocks!
13. What is the nicest comment you’ve received?
I am seriously spoilt by Thunderfam on a regular basis, there have been many comments that have lifted my spirits, inspired me and just made my day so much better. Again, Thunderfam rock!
14. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
I’m jaded, so I wouldn’t be surprised. But one thing I actually like is when some random thing I threw into a fic pops up in fanon :D
15. How many fics do you have marked as incomplete?
I’m not counting. I refuse :P
16. Which of the WIPS will most likely be finished first?
Not looking. I can’t hear you. Lalalalalalala!
17. Which WIP are you looking forward to finishing?
All of them. Yes, I am deluded. But to start is fun, to finish is ecstasy.
18. Is there a WIP that you’re considering abandoning?
Several. I don’t have as much time as I would like. My muse is fickle and I have to learn to let go, or face muse crippling stress.
19. Which complete fic would you consider rewriting?
None. I don’t rewrite. Don’t have the patience or motivation.
20. Which complete fic is your favourite?
We’ll Be Home For Christmas for multiple reasons, but I also love V.T. Green (and want to write sequels for both)
21. What’s your total published word count?
Ao3: 1,079,768
FF.net: 1,392,681
If someone is brand new to your writing, what work would you want them to start with to get to know you, your style, what you’re all about?
My two favourite fics, maybe? Though admittedly my writing can be rather variable and inconsistent. Anyone got any suggestions which of my fics demonstrates my style?
Other answers to this tag game (because the post is massively long):
cg29, burningcowboyhoagietaco, gaviiadastra, the-original-sineater, myladykayo, janetm74, m-calculus, onereyofstarlight, godsliltippy
Tagging: @tsarinatorment @scribbles97 @the-lady-razorsharp @vegetacide
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Quarantine Reads Part 7
part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 | part 5 | part 6
151. The Bean Trees by Barbara Kingsolver: one of my mom’s buddy read pick. alternating pov. accidental baby acquisition. road tripping.
152. His Majesty’s Dragon by Naomi Novik: HOW did I miss that Naomi Novik had a whole dragon series??? HOWMST??? these are seriously right up my alley: dragons can talk and are partners with their riders, some dragons only let LADIES ride them (!!!), alternate history. plus there’s like 9 OF THEM??? amaze.
153. A Conspiracy of Kings by Megan Whalen Turner: book 4 in the queen’s thief series (now complete!). political intrigue, gods are real and semi-present in people’s lives, greekish adjacent.
154. Heartstopper: Volume Two by Alice Oseman: yes i had already read these panels online, but my print copy came in so obviously it was time to reread (it’s going to be a tv show!) (also its still updating!)
155. The Warmth of Other Suns: The Epic Story of America’s Great Migration by Isabel Wilkerson: meticulously researched, interwoven personal stories, the book is HEFTY but reads pretty quick
156. The Architect’s Apprentice by Elif Shafak: really cool story set in the height of the ottoman empire, follows Jahan, the elephant keeper, and how he came to be there and him growing up
157. Longbourn by Jo Baker: a retelling of pride and prejudice from the servants’ point of view, content warning: wickham preying on like a 12 year old, witnessing a whipping, descriptions of starvation, being a soldier in the napoleonic war
158. People of the Book by Geraldine Brooks: a ridiculously old Hebrew manuscript thought to be lost is found in Sarajevo, a conservator goes to examine it and finds several clues to the provenance of the text, follows the clues through history and flashes back to the present as the conservator tries to follow up on the clues, based on the true story of the Sarajevo Haggadah; content warning: murder, Holocaust, giving birth, the Inquisition
159. Goalie Interference by Avon Gale: hockey m/m romance between a set of tandem goalies on a fictional professional hockey team, lots o sex
160. What If It’s Us by Becky Albertalli: coming of age story set in nyc the summer before college, trying to figure out who you are, missing connections, some bad communication that gives way to good communication
161. Trade Deadline by Avon Gale: a hockey player gets traded after many seasons on the same team to his hometown team that is struggling to bring in fans, he reconnects with a childhood friend (and first kiss) who helps run the local aquarium, cuteness ensues, romance (so there’s sex)
162. The Underground Railroad by Colson Whitehead: two slaves manage to escape Georgia on the Underground Railroad, which, in this imagining is a series of safe houses and actual trains, follows their lives after that; content warning: violence, whipping, hunting people with dogs, severe illness, murder, racism
163. Small Gods by Terry Pratchett: 13th in the discworld series, this one explores the makings of a religion and how gods that have fallen out of favor can get a resurgence, very funny, highly ridiculous
164. Are You Listening? by Tillie Walden: graphic novel, Bea is on the run, runs into Lou, they find a cat, strange and dangerous stuff starts happening to them, magical realism, towns appearing and disappearing, haunted by a group of threatening men? creatures? unclear
165. The Left-Handed Booksellers of London by Garth Nix: a fun fantasy novel, old gods still exist, demons exist, a special family of booksellers are the main ones in london trying to stop them from wreaking havoc on the mundane population, a girl discovers her father is not what her mom told her
166. Bloom by Kevin Panetta: graphic novel, ya m/m getting together and falling in love, a boy is helping out in his parents’ bakery reluctantly when he is given permission to hang a help wanted flyer and meets the boy who becomes one of his best friends and maybe more
167. The Deal of a Lifetime by Fredrik Backman: short story, follows a father and son’s relationship
168. The Secret History of Wonder Woman by Jill Lepore: non-fiction, follows the author of the original wonder woman comics and his life, he seems like an ass to me though
169. Alif the Unseen by G. Willow Wilson: a hacker and his network is targeted after sleeping with/romancing the fiance of the government official tasked with rooting out those people trying to avoid the regime, alif is forced to go on the run with the literal girl next door and manages to accidentally stumble into the world of the djinn; content warning: imprisonment, torture, starvation, riots, murder
170. The Midnight Library by Matt Haig: in the space between life and death, there is a library, full of every what if you can think of and many more that you didn’t, follows the protagonist as she explores her own life many times if she had made different decisions along the way
171. A Long Way to a Small, Angry Planet by Becky Chambers: a crew that punches wormholes through space to make travel easier is given a huge contract that would set them up financially, but will take a massively long time to get to, and when they do, all is not as it seems, changing POV throughout the crew of a couple humans, a few differing alien species, and an AI as they go to do this job,
172. The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society by Mary Ann Shaffer and Annie Barrows: epistolary novel set just after WW2, juliet ashton is a writer who receives a letter from Guernsey Island in the English Channel and they spark a friendship, after learning more about his experience during the war and his relationship with books, she starts corresponding with others from the island and eventually goes there herself. this is my actual favorite book. the love story is super sweet plus the friendships are A++++
173. Unshelved by Bill Barnes: comic strip collection set in a local library, follow the librarians as they battle loud teenagers, preteens who don’t want to read, and people who think the library is for anything but finding books to read
174. Ms. Marvel, Vol 1: No Normal by G. Willow Wilson: Ms. Marvel origin story, follows a teenager in Jersey City as she accidentally and suddenly acquires superpowers while trying to still make her curfew and not disappoint her parents and get good grades
175. Feast of Famine by Naomi Novik: short story set in the Temeraire series, won’t make sense unless you’re familiar with the worldbuilding
#the bean trees#barbara kingsolver#his majesty's dragon#temeraire#naomi novik#a conspiracy of kings#megan whalen turner#queen's thief#heartstopper#alice oseman#the warmth of other suns#isabel wilkerson#the architect's apprentice#elif shafak#longbourn#jo baker#people of the book#geraldine brooks#hat trick series#avon gale#the underground railroad#colson whitehead#small gods#terry pratchett#discworld#are you listening?#tillie walden#graphic novel#the left-handed booksellers of london#garth nix
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Defining Epilogues (ksj)
Synopsis: Seokjin thinks he could always see the end of something before it even comes. When an annoying girl starts to rent the weirdest books from his shop, all Seokjin could see is how she will be the one to end him.
Characters: Seokjin x Female Reader
Trope/Au: Book rental shop owner!ksj x animator/artist!you (onesided enemies to lovers)
Genre: Fluff, comedy that’s close to crack
Wordcount: 6.3k
Warnings: Books with weird titles and secondhand-embarrassment-inducing sfw sex jokes (PG-15 Rating)
A/N: Happy birthday to my best girl @sophrosinn!!! This is my gift for you! This fic is done with the great help of the ever wonderful @senfleurs who edited this story and stayed with me for the past 24 hours while I cry, laugh, and panic writing this fic! This fic also ended up helping me ride out a massive writer’s block.
If Seokjin ever prides himself for something, it’s on his ability to tell how things will end the moment he sees them. He can tell when someone is about to fail their exam. He can sense a fight within a crowd before it even happens. He can stand at the end of the street and know the woman with the umbrella is about to break up with her boyfriend. And it always ends with Seokjin being right.
Seokjin’s thankful for this skill because he’s been able to learn when it’s the right time to pursue something or when it’s time to give up. If it weren’t for this ability, he would have not been able to accomplish his dream of having a book rental shop that actually sells. Seokjin just didn’t expect he would have to start thinking twice about this skill soon after his shop’s opening. All because of a Y/N L/N who appears in his life like a wild Pokemon.
From the start, Seokjin was already certain of one thing: Y/N is far from his type. For one, he didn’t even like having her as a customer.
“Hey, I think that girl’s been staring at our way for three hours now. Are you sure I’m not supposed to go help her out?”
Seokjin turns around to face his assistant and he hates that he’s able to see that girl from his peripheral. Seokjin shakes his head and turns back to the new books he’s been putting on the database, “I’m sure, Jungkook. Go back to work.”
“Are you really sure? I think she’s the type who’s too shy to ask for help and instead, hopes to send a telepathic message by burning holes on our heads.”
“I’m sure, Jungkook,” Seokjin repeats with a sigh. “Now why don’t you try working on that next book instead of stalling?”
“I’m not stalling—”
“Hello. I want to borrow this book.”
Seokjin looks up from his counter. The girl stands in front of him, staring straight into his eyes as she pushes the book his way.
Natural bust enlargement with total mind power: How to use the other 90% of your mind to increase the size of your breasts by Donald Wilson.
Seokjin looks back at his work and sighs, “Jungkook, get this.”
Jungkook picks up the book. He must have been taken aback as he looks at Seokjin, confused.
Seokjin closes his eyes and waves him off. “Don’t even ask. Just do the usual.”
“Okay,” Jungkook says. “Uh, ma’am, please write your name here. Okay, so Ms. Y/N L/N, you’re gonna return this—wait, you’ve been borrowing this book for three weeks?
“Yes. Why?”
“U-um, n-nothing. Just curious. It only has 141 pages and you’re not, um, finished yet?”
“Well, I want to learn more about how to mind control my breasts to make them bigger.”
“Uhh…”
“Alright,” Seokjin stands up and nudges Jungkook away. “Ms. Y/N L/N, you’ll need to return this book five days from now, on March 23rd.” Seokjin slams his date stamp on the paper. “If you fail to return this book on time, we’ll have to charge you $1 for every day past the due date. And if the copy gets destroyed or lost, we’ll also have to charge you. Understood?”
“Yep.”
“Now, that will be $17.”
Y/N places the money on the counter and heads for the door. But she doesn’t leave without sending one last stare into Seokjin’s way.
Seokjin plops back down on his seat and clicks his tongue. “She didn’t read the book again.”
Jungkook rolls his chair next to him and asks “Aren’t you being judgmental? Maybe she’s just a slow reader.”
“No, she does not read it. The author didn’t mean literal mind control as she said. The book is about conditioning your mindset to a more positive view of your body image.”
Jungkook looks at him with his forehead scrunched, “Wait, you’ve read that book?”
Seokjin’s lips turn into a frown and he rolls his chair away from his assistant. “Don’t even ask.”
When Seokjin first met Y/N L/N, he was convinced that she’d be the type of customer he’d hate the most. The type that comes in, picks a book, stays for god knows long, and leaves without borrowing anything. She used to do this back when she first came to his shop within its first week of opening. She kept the tradition strong for a solid month, and Seokjin was convinced that some highschoolers noticed her behavior and attempted to use his shop as their new hangout spot. He’s glad his shop was getting packed as the days went on. It’s just a different story when a hoard of teens started flocking around his shop without renting anything and prevented actual renters from entering his shop. Seokjin had to put up “No loitering” and “Maximum of 3 hours stay” signs on his windows to end this money-ripping tactic once and for all.
That didn’t seem to stop Y/N, though, as she would still come to his shop to pick a book to read right in front of his face without ever renting it. This time, however, she made sure to follow the three hours maximum to avoid getting called out. This went on for another week until Seokjin decided he had to talk with her about this. That didn’t end as well as he had hoped, as Y/N just looked at him straight in the eye and left immediately after he got his last word out.
Seokjin remembers getting so embarrassed at how he unknowingly did a monologue to a single-person audience. He wasn’t left mulling over it for long as Y/N came back the next day and actually began to rent a book. She still stays the three hours max limit most of the days but she doesn’t let a week pass without renting a book. She also manages to lower her ‘miser’ type level to the ‘weird borrower’ level in Seokjin’s annoyance scale. Having a customer with a renting history surrounding the most ridiculous-sounding books is much better than having them rent none at all.
Albeit, that’s a bit of a stretch, too, as Seokjin finds out that Y/N’s not exactly the weird borrower type, but the weird borrower who comes again on time just to rent the same book for weeks. And she doesn’t even read them. Seokjin confirms it one night when Y/N came to his shop a minutes-breadth away from the closing time.
“Wait!” Y/N screams, running towards the shop.
Seokjin stops pulling down the metal gate to give her a glare, “I’m already closing, L/N. Come back tomorrow.”
“But I have to borrow something!”
“Oh no you don’t—”
It’s too late though, as Y/N slips under Seokjin's elbow and pushes the unlocked glass door open.
Hearing his bell on the counter ring for consecutive times from the incessant taps of the infamous L/N, Seokjin knows he’s already lost the fight. He sighs as he makes his way back to the counter.
“What do you want?”
“This,” Y/N smiles.
The Beginner’s Guide to Sex in the Afterlife by David Staume.
Seokjin eyes her as he picks up the book, “This again? You’re still not done reading 164 pages after, what, two months?”
Y/N gulps as she clasps her hands in front of her, “Well, um, I still don’t get how people engage in sexual intercourse in the afterlife.”
Seokjin decides not to reply and continues to do his job.
“If they believe in a god. Or gods. Wouldn’t they worry about their god seeing them do...lewd stuff?”
Seokjin feels his right eye start to twitch.
“Unless...their god is a sex god?”
Seokjin closes the book louder than necessary. He pins Y/N with a glare. “Look, Y/N. This book is about sexual energy transcending material life and even moving to the astral world. Just like how people pass away. What made you think that this book was about literally having sex in the afterlife?”
Y/N looks at him with wide eyes, “You read the book?”
Seokjin scowls. “Don’t turn this on me. We’re talking about you. Why do you keep borrowing books you don’t even read?”
Y/N looks at him then back at her clasped hands. “You don’t have to know,” she mutters under her breath, taking Seokjin by shock when she slams the payment on the counter and leans over to stamp the renting slip with the due date herself.
Seokjin tries to call after her retreating figure by the door. “Wait, I didn’t even tell you the—”
“Yeah, $1 for each day after the due date and you’re gonna charge my card if I destroy the book,” Y/N yells over her shoulder. “Don’t worry. I’m gonna come back on time!”
Seokjin pales in his seat. Her announcement sounded like a death sentence.
He wishes he wasn’t so easily bothered at the slightest of things Y/N said. He wishes he didn’t spend too much time deciphering a way to stop her. Most of all, he wishes he didn’t become too intrigued by her to the point he’s started to care about what she’s actually doing.
And Seokjin hates it. He hates how he stresses himself reading the books Y/N borrows. He hates how he wastes his time trying to re-arrange the books in the shelves just so Y/N would start picking books with titles that actually made sense (which he learned is futile as Y/N had a penchant for finding weird books around his shop whenever and wherever). And, Seokjin hates how he basically studied her long enough to memorize her pattern. Long enough to realize that underneath all that weird borrowing behavior, Y/N just comes to his shop to stare at him. Moreover, Seokjin hates how he confirmed it with a friend.
“Y/N must be making you quite busy, no?” Jimin asks over a mug of coffee.
“You know her?” Seokjin asks in disbelief.
“Yeah,” Jimin nods, “I’m friends with her. I consulted their animation company for the ad I told you I was making for Books to Tell. She was the one who assisted me and we just clicked. Especially after I learned that she’s also friends with Namjoon.”
Seokjin’s eyes go wide, “She’s also friends with Namjoon?!”
“Yeah, they kinda knew each other in college. Why are you so shocked? You were in the same major as Namjoon. You could have seen her with him around uni.”
“Uh, no, I didn’t.”
Jimin rubs his chin and shrugs, “Well, it’s a small world then. So, how is she? I actually told her to go visit your shop when you first opened.”
Seokjin chokes on his coffee and Jimin hurries to pat his back. “God, why are you like this today? Is something wrong—"
“How come you’re just telling me all of this now?!” Seokjin cuts his friend with a glare, making Jimin jolt in surprise.
“W-what? Was I supposed to tell you about this earlier?”
“Yes! Y/N’s been annoying me for four months now!”
“I…didn’t know about that,” Jimin steps back and sits in his chair. “I just told her to take a look at your shop and she said ‘okay.’ She didn’t say anything after that so I figured it left her mind. I didn’t know she was a regular in your shop. She just brought it up again yesterday when she told me how…” Jimin zips his lips and shrugs.
“How what?”
“...how she likes your face.”
Seokjin chokes again. This time on his own spit. He should have seen this coming. He was long aware that some of his renters only went into his shop to get a look at his face. Even if he had to suffer through the tedious cycle of rejecting their queries for his number and offers of coffee, some of them ended up as his regulars. Seokjin didn’t mind. Money is money after all. He just didn’t expect Y/N to be like them after all the months he spent trying to decode her actual intentions.
Seokjin tried to brush Y/N off just like he did with the previous renters. Although she hasn’t pulled off anything yet, Seokjin believes it’s better to set things straight before it happens. The sooner he ends this, the faster he’ll find his peace again.
Seokjin hired his neighbor, Jungkook, who’s been bugging him for a part-time job for so long and made him his assistant. He entrusted him with entertaining the customers so Seokjin wouldn’t have to deal with Y/N bugging him anymore. And like always, that plan goes down the drain because Y/N always, always ends up in front of Seokjin even when he’s countlessly told her to go to Jungkook.
Seokjin’s tired of stressing over her so he forces himself to ignore her and the ridiculous books she borrows. But even that proves to be hard when Y/N hasn’t even done anything untoward but to stare at him from time to time. And give him a headache with the books she borrows like The Stray Shopping Carts of Eastern North America by Julian Montague, 50 Sad Chairs by Bill Keaggu, and Collectible Spoons of the Third Reich by James Yannes. For after all the progress he thought he’s put in, Seokjin still finds himself reading these books all because of a goddamn curiosity he couldn’t put down.
It becomes harder when Namjoon and his friends pick up Seokjin’s weird setup with Y/N. And mutual friends being the annoying mutual friends they are, Namjoon and the gang begins to invite him and Y/N to hangout.
“Why is she here?” Seokjin mutters to Namjoon the moment he sees their table.
“Who?”
“You know who.”
“Oh, Y/N,” Namjoon prolongs the syllable as if her name is the most amazing thing ever. Seokjin grimaces. “Why? You got a problem with her?”
“No,” Seokjin instantly denies. “I’m just asking why you invited her. It used to be just us for so long.”
“Yeah, it’s always been just us that’s why it became boring.”
“Boring?”
“Yeah, I’m getting tired of your face,” Namjoon chuckles, stepping ahead of Seokjin. “Besides, what’s wrong with adding a new friend? Y/N is cool.”
Oh hell yeah, Y/N is cool. She beams at Seokjin like she always does as if their legs weren’t just casually touching after their friends made it a point to choose a cramped barbecue restaurant and sit the two of them next to each other.
“So Seokjin, I heard you and Y/N are getting close,” Namjoon starts and Hoseok hoots in support.
Jimin, being as annoying as ever decides to ride in too. “Yeah, why don’t you tell us how you met.”
“I was doing my business and Y/N just rented a book. That is all,” Seokjin says dismissively as he grabs his shot glass and downs the gin in one go.
“Are you sure, that’s all, Seokjin?” Rose leans forward, grinning, “Maybe you’re hiding something from us.”
“I’m not—”
“He’s not hiding anything. That’s true.”
The table pauses as all eyes dart to Y/N. A wave of self-consciousness washes over her and she directs her focus back on her clasped hands on the table, “S-Seokjin’s right. I just rent books from him.”
Seokjin glances at Y/N then back at his drink. It’s the first time she actually addressed him that night after engaging animatedly with Namjoon, Jimin, and Rose for the past hour. The table nods slowly and Seokjin guesses they’re already about to drop the subject. Seokjin’s lips tug in a small smile. Maybe tonight’s not gonna go as bad as he initially thought.
However, Jungkook, being the ever-living oblivious fuck that he, must’ve not gotten the memo, decides to stir up the subject again.
“No, I don’t think so. Seokjin and Y/N do have something going on. I catch Y/N constantly looking his way and Seokjin for some reason, knows every single weird-ass book Y/N borrows.”
Seokjin’s lips part in shock. Jeon Jungkook did not just give him away like that. “Of course, I’ll know those books. I bought them to rent them to people. That’s my business!”
Jungkook blinks. “But you know every single detail about them.”
The table goes silent. It doesn’t last very long, though, as Rose and Jimin break into simultaneous laughter while Namjoon repeatedly slaps his thigh. Hoseok shoots, “Oh my god, you must’ve kept on buying books with weird titles just to keep Y/N borrowing!”
“What? I did not!” Seokjin yells but his voice is lost in the sea of laughter and teasing. Seeing as there’s no hope in making his friends stop anytime soon, Seokjin decides to lean on his seat and cross his arms in silence. His friends are going to jump onto another topic eventually. Looking at his empty plate, his eyes glance at the person who’s equally quiet next to him.
Y/N is busy fiddling with the seams of her jacket. She looks up from time to time to their friends to wave off their playful jibes at her with a laugh.
Seokjin feels an annoyance prick on his skin. His friends invited him over just to tease him. Seokjin is sure it’s only him because he’s the only one who’s gotten frustrated over this debacle while Y/N sits chill beside him. Y/N doesn’t even break a sweat laughing with the others as if she hasn’t been bothering him for months now. Seokjin swears he’s gonna decline the next time his friends invite him again. Or at least try to, because he’s gullible to their promises of “Hey, they’re giving out free drinks. Free is free!”
It’s the same as that one fateful night.
Seokjin stops in his tracks and grabs Hoseok by the shoulder. “Why is she here again?”
“Who?”
“Y/N.”
Hoseok raises a brow, “Why do you keep asking this question when you already know the answer?”
“I don’t,” Seokjin shakes his head. “I don’t know why you keep inviting her whenever I decide to join you guys.”
“Oh, don’t be such a grump. Y/N’s our friend, too.”
Feeling Seokjin still in his spot, Hoseok turns around and sighs, “Hey, we only see each other ‘bout twice a month, you know. Let’s have some fun, okay?”
Seokjin should have known Hoseok’s definition of ‘fun’ is far from his as he sits across Y/N in the restaurant. All their friends out of sight.
Hoseok started a game after dinner where everyone had to draw a piece of paper from the cup being passed around. The partners would then have to leave together in a form of a friendly date. It’s similar to seven minutes in heaven but messed up because instead of seven minutes together, they had to spend the rest of the night with the person they’ll end up picking.
Seokjin should have known that this was all planned when Namjoon oh so coincidentally pulled Rose, who everyone knows he’s been secretly crushing on. Meanwhile, Hoseok, Jimin, and Jungkook obviously ended up drawing each other’s name just to purposely get Namjoon and Rose together. And well…him and Y/N together. Seokjin sighs as he stands up. He just had to get this done and over as quickly as he possibly could.
“Look, Y/N—”
“I know a good place near here.”
Seokjin halts. He looks at the girl who’s already looking up at him with wide eyes. "There's a cafe down the block and I heard it's really nice."
"Uhh, that sounds amazing. I guess. Look, Y/N-"
"They let you play with board games and borrow books, too."
Seokjin scratches his head, "Uhh, I don't know about that, Y/N. I haven't had the time to check them out yet...I mean...if those cafes are good...or bad," Seokjin internally cringes at his words. Making believable excuses was never really his forte.
"Oh, it's good!" Y/N smiles, “I’ve tried it before and I had a really good time."
"Uhh-"
"It's really good. You can trust me on this.”
“No, I can’t,” Seokjin says before he could think about it and he immediately feels the guilt pang in his heart when he sees Y/N’s eyes drop to her feet
“That’s…okay. I'm sorry. I just wanted to make up for the days, and uh, nights I probably made you uncomfortable. I thought, maybe you'd enjoy having a few drinks at the cafe since I always see you with a to-go cup on your counter."
Seokjin looks at her with surprise written on his face and Y/N flushes. "Sorry. I tend to observe... stuff. I’m sorry," she repeats again, voice dripping with remorse.
Seokjin bites his lip. He didn’t mean to make her sad. He just wants to…run away from her. The reason? Well…Seokjin doesn’t exactly know why. Maybe it had to do with the feeling that nagged at him since the night started. The feeling that something may happen tonight that he wouldn’t like. He tends to prioritize his disposition because more often than not, his gut feeling has saved him countless times from unnecessary drama and unpleasantries. But for tonight, Seokjin decides to shake them off. It wouldn’t hurt to take up Y/N’s offer, right? It’s just some coffee.
“Okay. Um, I forgive you.”
“You do?” Y/N perks up, lips curving up again.
Seokjin looks away, “Yeah. I think I’m being difficult, too. I’m sorry if I also made you uncomfortable.”
Y/N waves her hands, “Oh no, don’t apologize. You don’t make me uncomfortable. Far from it, actually.”
Seokjin doesn’t know what to say to that so he clears his throat, “Okay, so...let’s go to the cafe?”
“Sure,” Y/N grins.
It feels weird to walk side by side with Y/N when he’s gotten used to having a counter between them. It’s even weirder that he actually enjoyed their time together inside the cafe. The cakes were delicious, the coffee was amazing, and the books and board games were a wonderful addition. Seokjin didn’t know he'd actually have fun playing scrabble against Y/N.
“I can’t believe I lost again!”
Seokjin chuckles at her, “That’s because you kept using short words.”
Well, it really is fun when he’s winning.
Y/N pushes the game to the side, “I don���t want to play scrabble anymore.”
“That’s okay,” Seokjin chuckles, “I can find another game I’m sure to win again.”
The two of them fall in a comfortable silence. It’s the first time Seokjin felt this way around Y/N. For all the months she came to his shop, he did nothing but be forever on his toes around her.
“You know...I really like your face.”
Or maybe not. Seokjin tenses up in his seat.
Y/N puts her hands up, “Oh, I didn’t mean it like, in a bad way. I mean, I like your face. It’s so...expressive.”
Seokjin looks at her, confused. Expressive?
“You’ve asked me before about why I keep on borrowing books I don’t even read and I told you that you didn’t have to know. It seems right to tell you the reason behind it now..” Y/N fiddles with her hands, “Since you’re now paying attention to me.”
Seokjin knows this isn’t true but he doesn’t say anything.
“You see...I’ve been fumbling around my work for so long. Well, it’s more like a personal project for now. I’ve been meaning to pitch in the idea of a lighthearted romcom series to my department. I just wanted to have a solid draft first so I could at least let them see my vision. I’m pretty bad with words. I need things to be spelled out completely and I don’t think I can do it with this one so I will have to get the drawings complete instead,” Y/N scratches her head. “I want this pitch to have a solid chance. I’ve been working on it for almost three years now. I just can’t seem to finish it because I didn’t know what to do with my lead male. Until I heard about you from Jimin.”
“Me?” Seokjin points to himself.
“Yeah. You have this look in your face that just exudes…greatness. It’s like you’re telling me...‘I’m a star.’”
“Huh?”
“What I mean is, your expressions are perfect for a leading guy!” Y/N squeals, “Oh my god, I just found the right words.”
Seokjin laughs nervously, “Y/N, just so you know, you’re not making any sense right now.”
Y/N cautiously fixes herself again, “Uh, what I’m trying to say is, you have this aesthetic around you that’s just perfect for the male lead I am envisioning. It’s easy for you to make various expressions that stretch from annoyance to glee and beyond. I’m really surprised at how well you could do that. If you think about it, you can be an actor if you’d like. You’re even handsome.”
Seokjin flushes at the sudden compliment.
Y/N continues, “And that’s that. You became my muse and I kept visiting for inspiration because I obviously couldn’t take pictures without your permission. That’s illegal.”
Seokjin should be appalled. He’s never met a person before who said such...things aloud in the open as if they’re just talking about the weather. But here he is, looking at Y/N, and feeling at peace. Maybe it had to do with him finally getting the answers he’s been looking for for months.
“Well, you should have just told me from the start. I wouldn’t have been...too weirded out by you.”
“Yeah, I’m sorry. My bad,” Y/N softly laughs.
“I thought you’re purposely messing with me with the way you pick the weirdest titles from my shop.”
Y/N awkwardly shrugs, “Yeah, sorry ‘bout that.”
Seokjin chuckles but halts. Why does Y/N bother to pick the weirdest titles when she can just pick from the hundreds of normal-looking books he has? She won’t even read them anyway.
Seokjin clears his throat, “Um, Y/N, why do you always borrow the weird-looking titles?”
Y/N’s eyes grow wide. She darts her eyes at her lap, “Uhh, I just, uh, do.”
Seokjin isn’t convinced. No one spends time finding the weirdest of books in a shop ‘just because they do.’ Seokjin feels the familiar itch of his curiosity. He needs to know why. Only then will he probably stop finding a pattern in the ridiculous-titled books Y/N borrows.
“Okay, you can keep doing your...inspiration thing.”
“What?”
“I’m not angry about what you said. You don’t have to worry. Everyone has their own inspiration. You can keep coming to my shop. After all, you’re my regular renter.”
Y/N’s smile immediately grows into a grin, “Okay. Thank you, Seokjin.”
Seokjin feels his chest lighten with satisfaction. But at the same time, he can’t deny the feeling that he’s probably signed himself up to something he’s unprepared for. He presses his lips together. His gut feeling was right. He doesn’t like this night.
Seokjin confirms this when tomorrow comes as well as the following days. Y/N comes in like usual in the afternoon, maxes her three hours, and finds a book with a weird title to rent. Nothing had changed much except now, Seokjin had to see her stare at him openly and not behind a book, as she intermittently looked towards his counter then back to her sketchpad. He regrets having ever welcomed Y/N because now he thinks he’s the one who’s weird for feeling his heart pound in delight whenever Y/N looks at him.
Seokjin hates what he’s become. He hates how he simultaneously dislikes and likes Y/N’s presence in his shop. He likes how Y/N has begun using her three hours to tell him another story from work. He likes how she makes him laugh even when her jokes don’t make any sense. He likes how easy it is for him to tell her his own stories—his dreams, his fears, his past relationships. He could even say the most ridiculous musings he ever had without feeling ashamed of it because Y/N understands. But at the same time, he can’t help but dislike how he’s started to constantly wait for her return in his shop. He hates how he instantly feels so down when he realizes Y/N won’t be able to make it to his shop. He dislikes how he finds himself oversharing stuff without feeling any guilt when all his life, he made it sure not to say to let people know too much. The more they know, the easier it is for them to inflict hurt. Because they know what part is gonna hurt the most. And so, Seokjin tells Y/N everything other than the things he feels about her. The things he really wishes to say.
All his life, Seokjin has always anticipated seeing how things will end up. Because he knows he’s right. And he always almost is. He knows that this relationship he has with Y/N is purely transactional. Y/N just kept coming because she needs someone who’ll give her inspiration. Seokjin knows if he ever lets his feelings out, he’ll only end up breaking his own heart. He knows how this will end and yet he can’t but wish he isn’t always right. Now, he sits fearfully in anticipation of the day Y/N stops her visits as soon as she finishes what she started coming to his shop for.
Turns out, Seokjin didn’t have to wait very long. Because on one Thursday morning, he finds a copy of Y/N's final draft on his counter and no presence of the girl. Y/N doesn't appear during the following week. Or the week after that.
"What do I do?" Seokjin mumbles. He covers his face with his hands as he slumps on Jimin’s dining table. The rain thundering outside fits his current mood so well. Seokjin hates it.
"Well, you shouldn't have been so hostile to her from the start," Jimin says with crossed arms.
"Don't you think I already know that? I've already played through all the different things that could’ve happened if I didn't pick on her borrowing habit."
"It's not that," Namjoon says. "We meant how you usually react when we invite her over to our hangouts."
"Yeah, you always look so stiff next to Y/N even after we set you guys up on a date," Jungkook remarks. "Anyone would have looked at you and would’ve commented on how uncomfortable you looked right next to her."
It's true. He felt uncomfortable whenever he sat beside Y/N. In his defense, it no longer felt like the uncomfort he felt when they had first met. This feeling of uncomfort felt different, it’s brought by the heat that fills his body when Y/N's leg brushes against his.
And it didn't help that earlier that day, Y/N pulled quite a stunt on him.
"Hey, you have something on your hair," Y/N points at his head. But before he could pick it up on his own, Y/N had already leaned over the counter and picked it away for him. She came so close that Seokjin could clearly see how long her lashes actually were and how pink and soft her lips looked. He feels his Adam's apple bob up and down.
"There," she smiles, "All handsome again."
Seokjin feels heat rush to his ears as he looks away.
Seokjin looks at Jungkook, “Well, I can’t control how I feel. You know how bad I act when I’m not okay.”
“So you’re not okay being by her side in public but you’re okay when you guys are alone?” Jungkook eyes him, “Don’t you dare deny it because I saw you guys getting chummy across the counter.
Seokjin gulps. He knows what Jungkook is talking about. He didn’t know where and when but somewhere along the way, he and Y/N started to blur any nuance of personal space around each other. He just found it natural to tuck her hair behind her ear when it falls on her face as she draws. He found it natural to let his fingers brush on Y/N’s own as he grabs a book from the upper shelf for her.
“You must have been watching too many romantic movies.”
“Why?”
“You’re really acting like a main lead now. You’re making me feel as if I’m the female lead.”
Seokjin freezes and tears his eyes away from Y/N. He pulls the book and unceremoniously pushes it to her. “Here’s your book,” he mutters before walking back to his counter.
“Hey, don’t just leave me here!”
And Seokjin found it natural to let his actions do the talking for him instead.
“Do you trust me?” Y/N asks as she looks up at him. “I already made you look good on paper. What more if we go to this amusement park together?”
“I don’t trust you,” Seokjin says but his hand grips on hers tighter.
“Of course, I’d feel better when we’re alone,” Seokjin grunts as he grabs his coffee, “Who would want to see two people touching each other in public? Not to say people who engage in PDA too many times will eventually break up since the pressure from the public-”
“We’re not telling you to engage in PDA,” Namjoon cuts him. “What we’re trying to say is that, why do you refuse to act on your feelings?
“Yeah,” Jimin seconds, “It’s obvious that you like her. You wouldn’t keep on buying weird books and reading what Y/N borrows just to check if Y/N will indeed read it. You wouldn’t keep asking me if she’s alright at work whenever she doesn’t show up or leave you any messages under the pretense of ‘ensuring she wouldn’t come to your shop to disturb you’. You keep asking me because you’re worried about her. You keep buying her weird books because you’re happy seeing her smile happily about them. You keep welcoming Y/N into the shop even when you hate getting distracted because you like her!. It’s so obvious! Why can’t you say it?!”
“Because I know how this thing between us will end. What we have is purely temporary. Y/N came in to find a muse and that’s that. She comes to my rental shop just to finish her project. Y/N never intended to stay long, and I made sure she didn’t. I knew she was leaving the moment she finished. If I said I liked her then, it would’ve only made us awkward and I would’ve ended up absolutely miserable.”
“Well, she already did leave,” Namjoon deadpans.
“And you didn’t say anything but you’re still miserable,” Jungkook says.
Seokjin closes his eyes and nods. He’s fully aware that Y/N is gone, but it’s not like he can act like nothing happened. It was his fault, after all. “Yeah, I know now. I’m stupid. I’ll just have to deal with it on my own and move on.”
“You don’t have to deal with it on your own.”
Seokjin jolts at the familiar voice. He turns around and finds the very person he’s been missing for weeks. Y/N. With the deep bags under her eyes and her hair all mussed up, she looks far from Seokjin’s type. But she’s still the most beautiful person he’s ever seen in his life.
“Okay, I guess this is our cue to go.”
Seokjin whips his head to Jimin, his eyes wide, “You planned this?”
“Obviously. It looks like you still needed a little push after the last stunt we pulled. Jungkook, stand up from your goddamn seat.”
Y/N stays in her spot until their three friends leave them alone. Seokjin looks at his feet as shame and self-consciousness mingle in an unsettling mix in his stomach. Y/N is here and he must look like the stupidest idiot in the world right now.
“Did you mean it when you said you liked me?
“Yes,” Seokjin sighs.
“Then why didn’t you say so from the start?” Y/N says in a soft voice. “You kept blocking my advances. I was trying to let you know that I liked you, too.”
“You like me, too?” Seokjin asks, shocked and confused.
“Of course! Did you really think I just picked weird books out for fun? Okay, I did have a lot of fun picking them — but the point is, I did all of them to get your attention!!! For god’s sake, did you think I sat through your lecture on divine afterlife intercourse “just because”? No!! Okay,” Y/N closes her eyes, I first went to your shop for inspiration. But that all changes when I started liking you. You’re just so hardworking and smart and even if you’re grumpy on bad days, you actually care so much. I just want to stand out at least a bit so you could see me, too. And just when I thought I had finally succeeded when you agreed to let me draw your face, you started giving me mixed signals. You’d come near me and touch my hand and would let it go right when I started to talk about it. You’d act so affectionate then say the exact opposite. Do you know how bad it hurts when I ask you if you’d trust me—even when I sound like I’m joking—and all you’d ever answer is ‘no’?”
“I thought...you already knew the answer.”
“No, I don’t, Seokjin. I told you I’m bad with words. I need things to be spelled out. I-”
“Y/N, I trust you. I thought you figured it out already when I told you everything about my life.” Seokjin looks at his hand, “But it turns out it wasn’t enough. I’m sorry we had to take the long route like this because I couldn’t say what I really wanted.
“And what is it?”
“You.”
Y/N flushes at his sudden confession. The surprise in her eyes morphs into a satisfied glint as Y/N’s lips curve into a soft smile. “It’s okay. You have me now,” She steps into his arms and Seokjin immediately engulfs her in his embrace. For the very first time in his life, he doesn’t anticipate anything. His mind doesn’t conjure any endings. All he could think of is how he wants to prolong this moment as much as he can. Seokjin smiles into her neck as he tightens her hold on her. This must be what it feels like to be finally at peace.
“So you like me now, huh?” he feels Y/N murmur at his chest.
“Yeah.”
“And you trust me now?”
“2000%” Seokjin grins.
“Good. I’ve been wanting to try out something that I read.”
“Oh, so you’ve finally read something,” Seokjin chuckles by her ear.
Y/N giggles, “Yeah. I wanted to do it right this time for this book.”
“What book?”
“Edward Jaye’s The Cookie Sutra.”
“What?”
“Cookies and Kama Sutra.”
A/N pt. 2: Hello my dear @sophrosinn. Happy birthday! First of all, I love you. I LOVE YOU SO SO MUCH. AND MY LOVE FOR YOU CANNOT BE CAPTURED ENOUGH BY THESE WORDS. You’ve been with me for four years of my life and I couldn’t believe it’s just four years when it feels like I’ve been living my whole life with you. Yeah, you made a super large mark in my life and I couldn’t imagine what my life would have been if I didn’t meet you. You’ve helped me out in so many difficult times of my life. Through all the shits and slumps I had in school, in my family, and in my writing journey, you’ve stayed with me throughout all of those things. Gave me the advices I needed to hear. You’re still here, helping me heal from the pain I’ve suffered and still suffering. You’ve always been a rock of support in my life, @sophrosinn, and I wouldn’t have come this far if it weren’t you. When I look at you, I still wonder how life managed to let me meet such an astoundingly wonderful person like you are. These days have been tough but I hope you know you don’t have to suffer through it alone. I and @senfleurs will always be here to hear you rant, listen to your basog moments, and help you lighten your load as much as we can. Whenever life brings you down, I hope you always remember I will be here for you to give you an ear that will listen to you, to give you a shoulder you could cry on. I want to also be your rock of support you could always go to without hesitation just like you’ve always been for me. So Happy happy birthday my dear best girl! You have gotten a year older today but don’t worry, you’re not gonna be alone. I and @senfleurs will be by your side as we grow old with you! Here’s to more amazing years! I love you!
P.S. Yes, this fic is inspired by this reddit post you sent to us.
I just changed it up a bit bc my mind went blank when I first drafted the “we’re married” concept. Hope you like it, anyway! I tried writing both your serious and quirky sides through Seokjin and the OC!
P.P.S. I’m sorry I couldn’t get this fic out much earlier. My writing slump is still as bad as it can be but oof, I managed to get it out just before August 11 ends! I hope the wordcount and the feels and laughs make up for that > u <
All Rights Reserved © Vanaera. Reposts, modifications, and translations of content are not allowed without direct permission
#btswritingcafe#ficswithlove#bangtanhq#btsboulangerie#btsguild#btswriterscollective#kwritersworldnet#btsbookclub#bangtanarmynet#bts scenarios#seokjin scenarios#bts fluff#seokjin fluff#bts imagines#bts x you#bts x reader#bts reactions#seokjin x you#bts fanfic#seokjin reactions#aera writes
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Song Ranking
So I did that song ranking thing and it took HOURS. literal HOURS. Don’t ever do it, I won’t even link it. I hated doing it. But here is my list. And dare I say my Top 130 is immaculate hjgkhg
Some of this is not really accurate though. Could be me or the generator. Like ‘Cold Hearted’ being 500 something???? Not in my house.
Also don’t go looking for christmas songs. They are all somewhere down there lmao
Anyways! Let’s go!
1 Nasty / Rhythm Nation
1 Rumour Has It / Someone Like You
3 Be Okay
4 Love You Like A Love Song
4 Seasons Of Love
6 Mustang Sally
7 So Emotional
8 Tightrope
9 Barely Breathing
10 Cough Syrup
11 Shake It Out
11 The Boy Is Mine
13 Back To Black
14 Valerie
15 Paradise By The Dashboard Light
16 River Deep, Mountain High
17 Problem
18 Faithfully
19 Gloria
20 I'm Not Gonna Teach Your Boyfriend How To Dance With You
21 How Will I Know
22 We Are Young
23 How To Be A Heartbreaker
24 Hand In My Pocket / I Feel The Earth Move
25 If I Die Young
26 I Feel Pretty / Unpretty
27 Bust Your Windows
28 Candyman
29 American Boy
30 I Can't Go For That (No Can Do) / You Make My Dreams
31 If I Can't Have You
32 It's All Coming Back To Me Now
33 Crazy / U Drive Me Crazy
34 ABC
35 Bad Romance
36 It's Too Late
37 Hungry Like The Wolf / Rio
38 I Wish
39 Need You Now
40 Landslide
41 Start Me Up / Livin' On A Prayer
42 Thriller / Heads Will Roll
43 What Doesn't Kill You (Stronger)
44 There Are Worse Things I Could Do
45 Losing My Religion
46 The Edge Of Glory
47 Teenage Dream (Acoustic Version)
48 Make You Feel My Love
49 My Prerogative
50 Singing In The Rain / Umbrella
51 Songbird
52 Spotlight
53 Mine
54 Take Me Or Leave Me
55 Take Me To Church
56 No Surrender
57 Never Say Never
58 Constant Craving
59 Brave
60 Born This Way
61 Pumpin' Blood
62 Blame It (On The Alcohol)
63 Glad You Came
64 Give Your Heart A Break
65 It's All Over
66 It's Not Right, But It's Okay
67 Everybody Talks
68 Here Comes The Sun
69 Into The Groove
70 In Your Eyes
71 I Don't Want To Know
72 I Lived
73 I Kissed A Girl
74 Halo / Walking On Sunshine
75 You Can't Stop The Beat
76 She's Not There
77 Nutbush City Limits
78 True Colors
79 Can't Fight This Feeling
80 Breakaway
81 Dancing Queen
82 Don't Stop Me Now
83 And I Am Telling You I'm Not Going
84 Empire State Of Mind
85 Doo Wop (That Thing)
86 Arthur's Theme
87 Happy Days Are Here Again / Get Happy
88 Toxic
89 This Is The New Year
90 Last Name
91 3
92 A Change Would Do You Good
93 Got To Get You Into My Life
94 Tongue Tied
95 Smooth Criminal
96 Papa Don't Preach
97 Animal
97 Another One Bites The Dust
99 Don't Speak
100 Don't You Want Me
101 A Hard Day's Night
102 Some Nights
103 Somebody That I Used To Know
104 Superstition
105 Survivor / I Will Survive
106 My Life Would Suck Without You
107 The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face
108 Misery
109 My Love Is Your Love
110 Somewhere Only We Know
111 Blow Me (One Last Kiss)
112 Me Against The Music
113 I Follow Rivers
114 Mean
115 Here's To Us
116 Stronger
117 Summer Nights
118 Make No Mistake, She's Mine
119 Love Song
120 Waiting For A Girl Like You
121 We Got The Beat
122 We Found Love
123 We've Got Tonite
124 Love Shack
125 The Scientist
126 Love Is A Battlefield
127 Run Joey Run
128 Wings
129 When I Get You Alone
130 Uptown Girl
131 Roots Before Branches
132 I'm The Only One
132 I've Gotta Be Me
134 Hopelessly Devoted To You
135 Hit Me With Your Best Shot / One Way Or Another
136 Dinosaur
137 Dog Days Are Over
138 Hung Up
139 Everytime
140 Go Your Own Way
141 Every Breath You Take
142 Fire And Rain
143 Fighter
144 Not While I'm Around
145 Not The Boy Next Door
146 Fly / I Believe I Can Fly
147 Girl On Fire
148 Oops!... I Did It Again
149 Stop! In The Name Of Love / Free Your Mind
150 Stereo Hearts
151 Bills, Bills, Bills
152 Somebody Loves You
153 Hold It Against Me
154 Turning Tables
155 Wide Awake
156 You May Be Right
157 Cell Block Tango
158 A Boy Like That
159 All Out Of Love
160 Alfie
161 Jessie's Girl
162 I'm A Slave 4 U
163 I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For
164 I'll Stand By You (Amber)
165 I Wanna Dance With Somebody (Who Loves Me)
166 Let Me Love You (Until You Learn To Love Yourself)
167 Lovefool
168 Just Can't Get Enough
169 Just Give Me A Reason
170 Keep Holding On
171 Like A Virgin
172 New York State Of Mind
173 My Dark Side
174 More Than A Feeling
174 My Cup
176 I Want To Hold Your Hand
177 I Want To Break Free
178 I Want To Know What Love Is
179 I Want You Back
180 Teenage Dream
181 Take My Breath Away
182 America
183 Glory Days
184 I Say A Little Prayer
184 I Wanna Sex You Up
186 I Will Always Love You
187 A Thousand Years
188 Like A Prayer
189 Don't Rain On My Parade
190 Disco Inferno
191 Don't Stop Believin' (Regionals)
192 Dream On
193 Get It Right
194 Gold Digger
195 Telephone
196 Without You
197 You're The One That I Want
198 Tell Him
199 Let Me Love You
200 Good Vibrations
200 Raise Your Glass
202 Run The World (Girls)
203 Gimme More
204 Hey Jude
204 How Deep Is Your Love
206 Higher Ground
207 Vogue
208 Something's Coming
209 Footloose
210 Forget You
211 Gives You Hell
212 Everybody Wants To Rule The World
213 Far From Over
214 Fat Bottomed Girls
215 Hair / Crazy In Love
216 Hall Of Fame
216 Hello
216 Hello, I Love You
216 Somebody To Love
216 Time Warp
216 To Love You More
222 Last Friday Night
223 Hate On Me
224 Lovin', Touchin', Squeezin'
225 Locked Out Of Heaven
226 Rose's Turn
227 Everybody Hurts
227 Express Yourself
227 Loser
227 Shout It Out Loud
231 Signed, Sealed, Delivered I'm Yours
232 Pompeii
233 Party All The Time
234 Our Day Will Come
235 Perfect
236 Old Time Rock & Roll / Danger Zone
237 Greased Lightning
237 Happy Xmas (War Is Over)
237 Live While We're Young
240 Firework
240 Love Child
242 Fire
243 You're All I Need To Get By
244 The Scientist (Acapella)
245 Afternoon Delight
246 Against All Odds (Take A Look At Me Now)
247 Listen To Your Heart
248 Tik Tok
249 You Keep Me Hangin' On
250 The Rose
251 You Can't Always Get What You
Want
252 Let's Have A Kiki
252 Listen
254 Pretending
255 More Than A Woman
256 More Than Words
257 Hot For Teacher
257 No One Is Alone
257 Not The End
257 Nowadays / Hot Honey Rag 257 O Christmas Tree
257 One Hand, One Heart
257 One
257 Only Child
257 Proud Mary
266 Heroes
267 Hey Ya!
268 Getting Married Today
268 Happy
270 Hell To The No
271 Night Fever
271 Sgt. Pepper's Lonley Hearts Club
Band
273 The Music Of The Night
273 The Only Exception 273 The Rain In Spain 273 The Safety Dance 273 Thousand Miles 278 Billionaire
278 God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen 278 The Happening
278 The Lady Is A Tramp
282 Borderline / Open Your Heart 282 Born To Hand Jive
284 Control
284 The Longest Time
286 Give Up The Funk
287 Chasing Pavements
288 Man In The Mirror
288 Say
288 Sexy And I Know It 288 Shout
292 Marry The Night
293 Mamma Mia
294 Loser Like Me
295 Don't Stop Believin' (Season 1)
296 Colorblind
297 Diva
297 Don't Cry For Me Argentina
299 Don't Dream It's Over
300 Let It Be
301 Don't Stop
302 Highway To Hell
302 Hold On
302 Holding Out For A Hero 302 We Will Rock You
302 What I Did For Love
302 What It Feels Like For A Girl
308 Take On Me
309 For Once In My Life
309 Good Riddance (Time Of Your
Life)
309 Hello Goodbye
309 Hello Twelve, Hello Thirteen, Hello Love
309 Home
309 Homeward Bound / Home 309 Honesty
309 Human Nature
317 Drive My Car
317 For Good
317 I'll Remember
320 I'll Stand By You (Cory)
321 On My Own
321 Taking Chances
321 The Bitch Is Back / Dress You Up 321 Werewolves Of London
325 My Man
326 My Life
327 My Lovin' (You're Never Gonna Get It)
327 Never Going Back Again 327 No Scrubs
330 Creep
331 Come What May
332 Never Can Say Goodbye
333 Who Are You Now?
334 You Give Love A Bad Name
335 Womanizer
336 Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go
337 Come See About Me
337 P.Y.T. (Pretty Young Thing) 337 People
337 Popular
337 River
337 Roar
337 Rolling In The Deep 337 Santa Baby
345 Boogie Shoes
346 At Last
347 I'm The Greatest Star
348 Jar Of Hearts
349 It's Time
350 It's My Life / Confessions Part II
351 It's Not Unusual
352 I'm So Excited
352 I'm Still Here
354 Don't Stop Believin' (Season 5) 354 Don't You (Forget About Me) 354 Dreams
354 Unchained Melody
354 Uptown Funk
359 Bohemian Rhapsody
359 Don't Stop Believin' (Rachel) 359 Lucky
362 Don't Stand So Close To Me /
Young Girl
363 Bridge Over Troubled Water
363 Bust A Move
365 Look At Me I'm Sandra Dee
366 Look At Me I'm Sandra Dee
(Reprise)
367 Longest Time
368 Applause
369 All Of Me
370 Any Way You Want It
370 Anything Could Happen
372 Red Solo Cup
372 Rock Lobster
372 Rockin' Around The Christmas
Tree 372 Rockstar
376 Saving All My Love For You
377 (I've Had) The Time Of My Life
377 Piano Man 377 Poison 377 Poker Face
381 A House Is Not A Home
382 4 Minutes
383 Black Or White
384 Blackbird
385 All By Myself
385 Smile
385 You Make Me Feel So Young
388 Wrecking Ball
389 (You Make Me Feel Like) A Natural
Woman
389 (You're) Having My Baby
391 Superman
392 Ain't No Way
392 Stayin' Alive
394 Still Got Tonight
394 The Most Wonderful Day Of The
Year
394 The Way You Look Tonight / You're Never Fully Dressed Without A
Smile 394 This Time
394 Whatever Happened To Saturday Night?
399 They Long To Be Close To You
400 All About That Bass 400 Sing!
400 So Far Away
400 Some People
404 Addicted To Love
404 Moves Like Jagger / Jumpin' Jack Flash
404 Sing
404 Someday We'll Be Together 404 Somethin' Stupid
404 Something
404 Somewhere
404 Stand
412 Scream
413 Rather Be
414 Next To Me
414 No Air
414 Papa Can You Hear Me? 414 Physical
414 Piece Of My Heart
414 Pinball Wizard
414 Pony
414 Rehab
422 La Isla Bonita
422 Lean On Me
422 Let's Wait Awhile
422 Little Drummer Boy
422 Little Girls
427 Light Up The World
428 Science Fiction Double Feature
428 Silent Night 428 Silly Love Songs
431 Le Jazz Hot
432 Out Here On My Own
432 Pure Imagination
434 School's Out
435 Hey, Soul Sister
435 I Kissed A Girl (Season Six) 435 Sway
438 I Believe In A Thing Called Love
439 I Have Nothing
440 I Am Changing
441 I Saw Her Standing There
441 I Was Here
441 I Won't Give Up
441 I'll Be Home For Christmas 441 I'll Never Fall In Love Again 446 Funny Girl
446 I Look To You
446 I Only Have Eyes For You 446 I Still Believe / Super Bass 446 Story Of My Life
451 I Love New York / New York, New
York
452 What Makes You Beautiful
453 What The World Needs Now
454 An Innocent Man
454 Bad
454 Because You Loved Me
454 Bein' Green
454 ByeByeBye/IWantItThatWay 454 IfIWereABoy
454 Take A Bow
454 Take Me Home Tonight
462 Barracuda
463 Beauty School Drop Out
464 Chandelier
465 Baby It's You
466 It Must Have Been Love
467 At The Ballet
468 Baby One More Time
469 Beautiful
469 Being Alive
469 We Built This City
472 Being Good Isn't Good Enough 472 I Just Can't Stop Loving You 472 I Love It
472 Isn't She Lovely
476 All That Jazz
476 Blurred Lines
476 Bootylicious
476 Extraordinary Merry Christmas 476 Father Figure
476 Fight For Your Right (To Party)
476 Flashdance... What A Feeling
483 I Don't Know How To Love Him
484 Fix You
484 I Could Have Danced All Night 486 Push It
486 Rainbow Connection 486 Rise
489 Promises, Promises
490 Oh Chanukah
490 Ohio
490 One Love (People Get Ready) 490 Only The Good Die Young 494 Baby
494 Dancing With Myself
494 Defying Gravity
497 Baby, It's Cold Outside
498 Cherish / Cherish
498 Christmas Wrapping 498 Closer
498 Downtown
498 Endless Love
498 Forever Young
498 Friday I'm In Love 498 Friday
498 Gangnam Style
498 Get Back
498 Safety Dance
509 Cold Hearted
510 Clarity
511 Centerfold / Hot In Herre
511 Just The Way You Are 513 Jumpin', Jumpin'
513 Kiss
515 Juke Box Hero
515 L-O-V-E
517 Jolene
518 Jump
518 La Cucaracha
520 Dream A Little Dream
521 A Little Less Conversation
521 Beth
521 Bitch
521 Don't Sleep In The Subway 521 Girls Just Want To Have Fun 521 Have Yourself A Merry Little
Christmas 521 Help!
521 I Dreamed A Dream 521 I'm His Child
521 I'm Still Standing 521 Ice Ice Baby
521 Imagine
521 In My Life
521 It's A Man's Man's Man's World 521 Lose My Breath
521 Memory
521 Outcast
521 Over The Rainbow
521 Same Love
521 Santa Claus Is Coming To Town 521 Teach Your Children
521 Tell Me Something Good
521 The Final Countdown
521 Uptight (Everything's Alright) 545 Big Ass Heart
545 I Love L.A.
545 I Melt With You
548 Big Girls Don't Cry
548 Mary's Boy Child
548 O Holy Night
548 On Our Way
548 One Bourbon, One Scotch, One
Beer
548 One Less Bell To Answer
554 Maybe This Time 554 My Favourite Things 554 My Sharona
557 Marry You
558 Cool
559 Cool Kids
560 Celebrity Skin
560 Cheek To Cheek
560 Dance The Night Away
560 Diamonds Are A Girl's Best Friend / Material Girl
560 Don't Go Breaking My Heart 560 Don't Wanna Lose You
560 Feliz Navidad
560 Here Comes Santa Claus 560 I Know What Boys Like
560 I Know Where I've Been 560 Trouty Mouth
571 Total Eclipse Of The Heart
572 Don't Make Me Over
573 Call Me Maybe
574 We Are The Champions
575 Time After Time
576 Bring Him Home
576 Broadway Baby 576 Buenos Aires 576 Burning Up 576 Yesterday
581 Boys / Boyfriend
582 Mercy
582 You Get What You Give
582 You Have More Friends Than You
Know
582 You Learn / You've Got A Friend
582 You Should Be Dancing
582 You're All The World To Me 582 You're My Best Friend
582 You've Lost That Lovin' Feelin' 590 Break Free
590 Jingle Bell Rock 590 Jingle Bells
590 Joy To The World 590 One Of Us
590 Tonight
590 You're The Top
590 You've Got To Hide Your Love
Away
590 Your Song
599 To Sir, With Love
600 Torn
601 Wake Me Up
601 Wannabe
601 Wedding Bell Blues
604 Touch A Touch A Touch A Touch Me
604 UpUpUp
606 All Or Nothing
606 Alone
606 Cry
606 Leaving On A Jet Plane
606 Let It Go
606 Mickey
606 Movin' Out (Anthony's Song) 606 Mr. Roboto / Counting Stars 606 Try A Little Tenderness
606 U Can't Touch This
606 Uninvited
606 Vacation
606 Wanna Be Startin' Somethin' 606 What Kind Of Fool
606 Whistle
606 Will You Love Me Tomorrow /
Head Over Feet 606 Wishin' And Hoping
606 YouAndI/YouAndI
624 Do Ya Think I'm Sexy?
624 Do You Hear What I Hear? 624 Do You Wanna Touch Me (Oh
Yeah)
624 Lucky Star
624 Merry Christmas Darling 629 Damn It, Janet
629 Danny's Song
629 Daydream Believer
629 Deck The Rooftop
629 Ding-Dong! The Witch Is Dead 634 All I Want For Christmas Is You 634 Angels We Have Heard On High 634 Anything Goes / Anything You Can
Do
634 As If We Never Said Goodbye
634 As Long As You're There 634 Bamboleo / Hero
634 Bella Notte
634 Copacabana
634 Do They Know It's Christmas? 634 Last Christmas
634 Let It Snow
634 We Need A Little Christmas
634 Welcome Christmas
634 Whenever I Call You Friend
634 Whip It
634 You Are The Sunshine Of My Life
650 All You Need Is Love
651 Americano / Dance Again
652 Crush
653 Big Spender
653 Make 'Em Laugh
653 White Christmas
653 Yeah!
657 (Charlie Chaplin song)
657 (originally by Michael Bublé) 657 Away In A Manger
657 Baby Got Back
657 Christmas Eve With You 657 Come Sail Away
657 You Are Woman, I Am Man 657 You Spin Me Round (Like A
Record)
665 You're A Mean One, Mr. Grinch
666 Starlight Express
666 The Trolley Song
666 The Winner Takes It All
666 There's A Light (Over At The
Frankenstein Place) 670 Take Care Of Yourself
671 Sweet Caroline
672 Ben
672 Best Day Of My Life 672 Blue Christmas
672 Candles
676 Starships
676 Suddenly Seymour 676 Sweet Transvestite
679 Thong Song
680 The Fox (What Does The Fox
Say?)
680 The Living Years
682 The Chipmunk Song (Christmas Don't Be Late)
682 The First Noël
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once again i spent hours of my life answering >5000 questions in order to sort almost all of the glee songs ever (there’s 683 songs in the sorter when there’s over 700 on the show) anyway if you wanna see my rankings for those then check it out <3 [also here’s the sorter!]
1 Being Alive
2 Rose's Turn
3 Baby, It's Cold Outside
4 Le Jazz Hot
5 Maybe This Time
6 And I Am Telling You I'm Not Going
7 Come What May
8 To Sir, With Love
9 As If We Never Said Goodbye
10 Valerie
11 Somewhere Only We Know
12 Cough Syrup
13 Teenage Dream
14 Not The Boy Next Door
15 It's Too Late
16 It's My Life / Confessions Part II
17 Start Me Up / Livin' On A Prayer
18 When I Get You Alone
19 The Happening
20 The Boy Is Mine
21 Home
22 Don't You Want Me
23 How Will I Know
24 Bad Romance
25 Not While I'm Around
26 Scream
27 Shake It Out
28 On My Own
29 Hate On Me
30 Bills, Bills, Bills
31 4 Minutes
32 True Colors
33 There Are Worse Things I Could Do
34 Go Your Own Way
35 Jessie's Girl
36 Proud Mary
37 Tongue Tied
38 Last Christmas
39 Somebody Loves You
40 Back To Black
41 Sweet Transvestite
42 For Good
43 At The Ballet
44 Gloria
45 Blame It (On The Alcohol)
46 Like A Prayer
47 So Emotional
48 Misery
49 Nasty / Rhythm Nation
50 Toxic
51 Don't Speak
52 Born This Way
53 Dog Days Are Over
54 Defying Gravity
55 Last Name
56 Womanizer
57 I Will Always Love You
58 Broadway Baby
59 The Lady Is A Tramp
60 I'm A Slave 4 U
61 Centerfold / Hot In Herre
62 Thriller / Heads Will Roll
63 Bust Your Windows
64 Candyman
65 Brave
66 Boys / Boyfriend
67 The Scientist
68 The Scientist (Acapella)
69 Dream On
70 Hey Jude
71 I Lived
72 I'm Still Here
73 I Believe In A Thing Called Love
74 Me Against The Music
75 Like A Virgin
76 My Man
77 Everybody Wants To Rule The World
78 I Have Nothing
79 Blackbird
80 Got To Get You Into My Life
81 Animal
82 3
83 I Follow Rivers
84 Just The Way You Are
85 Constant Craving
86 Don't Stop Me Now
87 Hung Up
88 Let's Have A Kiki
89 Love Shack
90 Marry The Night
91 Hit Me With Your Best Shot / One Way Or Another
92 It's Not Right, But It's Okay
93 I Want To Hold Your Hand
94 All You Need Is Love
95 Getting Married Today
96 Don't Rain On My Parade
97 Don't Stop Believin' (Regionals)
98 We've Got Tonite
99 Smooth Criminal
100 Uptown Girl
101 Sway
102 If I Die Young
103 No One Is Alone
104 Look At Me I'm Sandra Dee
105 No Scrubs
106 Mamma Mia
107 Papa Don't Preach
108 Teenage Dream (Acoustic Version)
109 Santa Baby
110 We Found Love
111 Roar
112 She's Not There
113 Spotlight
114 The Way You Look Tonight/You're Never Fully Dressed Without A Smile
115 Some Nights
116 Rumour Has It / Someone Like You
117 You Make Me Feel So Young
118 You Keep Me Hangin' On
119 I'll Stand By You (Amber)
120 Hand In My Pocket / I Feel The Earth Move
121 Crazy / U Drive Me Crazy
122 Funny Girl
123 Cold Hearted
124 Keep Holding On
125 Bye Bye Bye / I Want It That Way
126 I Know Where I've Been
127 I Kissed A Girl (Season Six)
128 Hopelessly Devoted To You
129 Homeward Bound / Home
130 Into The Groove
131 Hold On
132 Tell Him
133 Nutbush City Limits
134 Because You Loved Me
135 Perfect
136 Cherish / Cherish
137 Do You Wanna Touch Me (Oh Yeah)
138 Ding-Dong! The Witch Is Dead
139 You Are The Sunshine Of My Life
140 Tik Tok
141 The Safety Dance
142 Oops!... I Did It Again
143 Run Joey Run
144 Time Warp
145 Something's Coming
146 Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go
147 The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face
148 Vogue
149 Downtown
150 Diva
151 Dancing With Myself
152 Rockstar
153 Wrecking Ball
154 We Are Young
155 I Saw Her Standing There
156 Jumpin', Jumpin'
157 Just Can't Get Enough
158 Take Me To Church
159 Wannabe
160 It's All Over
161 Take Me Home Tonight
162 If I Were A Boy
163 Landslide
164 Pompeii
165 The Bitch Is Back / Dress You Up
166 Christmas Wrapping
167 Buenos Aires
168 Call Me Maybe
169 You Can't Stop The Beat
170 Seasons Of Love
171 Safety Dance
172 Dream A Little Dream
173 Alfie
174 I Want To Break Free
175 Baby One More Time
176 A House Is Not A Home
177 Daydream Believer
178 I Don't Know How To Love Him
179 Hungry Like The Wolf / Rio
180 Suddenly Seymour
181 People
182 Silly Love Songs
183 Love Song
184 Shout It Out Loud
185 Some People
186 One Of Us
187 Sing!
188 Up Up Up
189 Torn
190 Popular
191 This Is The New Year
192 Paradise By The Dashboard Light
193 Let It Snow
194 Let It Be
195 Never Can Say Goodbye
196 Touch A Touch A Touch A Touch Me
197 La Isla Bonita
198 Tightrope
199 My Love Is Your Love
200 Love Is A Battlefield
201 Losing My Religion
202 Total Eclipse Of The Heart
203 This Time
204 I Dreamed A Dream
205 Leaving On A Jet Plane
206 Locked Out Of Heaven
207 Chandelier
208 Girl On Fire
209 Telephone
210 Don't Cry For Me Argentina
211 Human Nature
212 Halo / Walking On Sunshine
213 Anything Goes / Anything You Can Do
214 Make You Feel My Love
215 Stronger
216 Nowadays / Hot Honey Rag
216 Pumpin' Blood
218 Papa Can You Hear Me?
219 Summer Nights
220 Sweet Caroline
221 Superstition
222 We Will Rock You
223 Alone
224 Hello, I Love You
225 Against All Odds (Take A Look At Me Now)
226 A Hard Day's Night
227 Mine
228 My Prerogative
229 Beauty School Drop Out
230 My Lovin' (You're Never Gonna Get It)
231 Extraordinary Merry Christmas
232 Every Breath You Take
233 Express Yourself
234 Everybody Talks
235 Everytime
236 Marry You
237 Moves Like Jagger / Jumpin' Jack Flash
238 My Favorite Things
239 Santa Claus Is Coming To Town
240 River Deep, Mountain High
241 My Life Would Suck Without You
242 Be Okay
243 Applause
244 Cool
245 All I Want For Christmas Is You
246 American Boy
247 Cell Block Tango
248 Breakaway
249 Don't Dream It's Over
250 Let Me Love You (Until You Learn To Love Yourself)
251 Whatever Happened To Saturday Night?
252 Without You
253 Science Fiction Double Feature
254 Loser Like Me
255 I Kissed A Girl
256 I'm Not Gonna Teach Your Boyfriend How To Dance With You
257 I Can't Go For That (No Can Do) / You Make My Dreams
258 Don't Stop Believin' (Season 5)
259 Empire State Of Mind
260 Old Time Rock & Roll / Danger Zone
261 Take My Breath Away
262 You Get What You Give
263 Take On Me
264 Beautiful
265 It's Time
266 ABC
267 Afternoon Delight
268 Don't Stand So Close To Me / Young Girl
269 Don't Stop Believin' (Season 1)
270 Colorblind
271 Cool Kids
272 Dancing Queen
273 Songbird
274 Somebody That I Used To Know
275 Singing In The Rain / Umbrella
276 I Feel Pretty / Unpretty
277 Borderline / Open Your Heart
278 In My Life
279 I'm Still Standing
280 Blow Me (One Last Kiss)
281 Do Ya Think I'm Sexy?
282 Do They Know It's Christmas?
283 Mustang Sally
284 Pinball Wizard
285 Anything Could Happen
286 America
287 Any Way You Want It
288 Higher Ground
289 Flashdance... What A Feeling
290 My Life
291 Let It Go
292 If I Can't Have You
293 L-O-V-E
294 Closer
295 Addicted To Love
296 Heroes
297 A Boy Like That
298 Diamonds Are A Girl's Best Friend / Material Girl
299 Holding Out For A Hero
300 Dinosaur
301 Disco Inferno
302 Party All The Time
303 Raise Your Glass
304 Push It
305 Lean On Me
306 Pure Imagination
307 Lovefool
308 Lovin', Touchin', Squeezin'
309 Americano / Dance Again
310 All Of Me
311 At Last
312 Promises, Promises
313 Hair / Crazy In Love
314 Happy Xmas (War Is Over)
315 Chasing Pavements
316 Don't You (Forget About Me)
317 Love Child
318 School's Out
319 Poker Face
320 Boogie Shoes
321 Bootylicious
322 I Love New York / New York, New York
323 One Less Bell To Answer
324 Signed, Sealed, Delivered I'm Yours
325 Rehab
326 I Don't Want To Know
327 Shout
328 I'm The Greatest Star
329 I Love It
330 Never Say Never
331 Juke Box Hero
332 One Bourbon, One Scotch, One Beer
333 Glad You Came
334 For Once In My Life
335 Here Comes The Sun
336 Baby It's You
337 Drive My Car
338 Last Friday Night
339 Roots Before Branches
340 The Only Exception
341 Survivor / I Will Survive
342 All Or Nothing
343 Time After Time
344 You're The One That I Want
345 Yeah!
346 Starships
347 You've Got To Hide Your Love Away
348 Story Of My Life
349 Something
350 We Need A Little Christmas
351 Gold Digger
352 Beth
353 Fighter
354 Forget You
355 How To Be A Heartbreaker
356 Get Back
357 Love You Like A Love Song
358 There's A Light (Over At The Frankenstein Place)
359 We Got The Beat
360 Make 'Em Laugh
361 Sing
362 U Can't Touch This
363 Try A Little Tenderness
364 Pony
365 On Our Way
366 Lucky Star
367 Loser
368 Over The Rainbow
369 Outcast
370 Stop! In The Name Of Love / Free Your Mind
371 What Makes You Beautiful
372 Will You Love Me Tomorrow / Head Over Feet
373 Wide Awake
374 Wishin' And Hoping
375 Yesterday
376 Out Here On My Own
377 You're All The World To Me
378 Somethin' Stupid
379 Someday We'll Be Together
380 River
381 The Longest Time
382 Somebody To Love
383 The Edge Of Glory
384 The Most Wonderful Day Of The Year
385 Lucky
386 Memory
387 Mary's Boy Child
388 Longest Time
389 My Dark Side
390 Taking Chances
391 The First Noël
392 Smile
393 Celebrity Skin
394 All That Jazz
395 A Thousand Years
396 Big Girls Don't Cry
397 Ain't No Way
398 Don't Sleep In The Subway
399 Doo Wop (That Thing)
400 Don't Stop
401 Uptight (Everything's Alright)
402 New York State Of Mind
403 Turning Tables
404 Vacation
405 Fire
406 Hold It Against Me
407 I've Gotta Be Me
408 Endless Love
409 Run The World (Girls)
410 Saving All My Love For You
411 Give Up The Funk
412 I Am Changing
413 I Melt With You
414 I Could Have Danced All Night
415 Fat Bottomed Girls
416 Hot For Teacher
417 Never Going Back Again
418 Imagine
419 Jolene
420 Arthur's Theme
421 Damn It, Janet
422 Control
423 Barracuda
424 Copacabana
425 Barely Breathing
426 I Look To You
427 Come Sail Away
428 Jump
429 Clarity
430 Friday I'm In Love
431 Jar Of Hearts
432 It's Not Unusual
433 Footloose
434 Here Comes Santa Claus
435 Happy Days Are Here Again / Get Happy
436 Help!
437 Greased Lightning
438 Hell To The No
439 All Out Of Love
440 (You Make Me Feel Like) A Natural Woman
441 Candles
442 All By Myself
443 Hello Goodbye
444 It's A Man's Man's Man's World
445 I Say A Little Prayer
446 It Must Have Been Love
447 Just Give Me A Reason
448 Come See About Me
449 Born To Hand Jive
450 I Want To Know What Love Is
451 I Wish
452 I'll Remember
453 Get It Right
454 (I've Had) The Time Of My Life
455 I'll Stand By You (Cory)
456 Forever Young
457 A Change Would Do You Good
458 Smile (Charlie Chaplin song)
459 Best Day Of My Life
460 An Innocent Man
461 Dreams
462 All About That Bass
463 Home (originally by Michael Bublé)
464 Black Or White
465 Baby
466 Bad
467 Problem
468 Oh Chanukah
469 What Kind Of Fool
470 Wings
471 You're My Best Friend
472 You're All I Need To Get By
473 White Christmas
474 Whenever I Call You Friend
475 Wanna Be Startin' Somethin'
476 What Doesn't Kill You (Stronger)
477 Wedding Bell Blues
478 More Than A Feeling
479 More Than A Woman
480 Our Day Will Come
481 P.Y.T. (Pretty Young Thing)
482 Here's To Us
483 Honesty
484 Hall Of Fame
485 It's All Coming Back To Me Now
486 Teach Your Children
487 Night Fever
488 What The World Needs Now
489 Listen
490 Let Me Love You
491 Live While We're Young
492 Light Up The World
493 Trouty Mouth
494 Werewolves Of London
495 Kiss
496 Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas
497 Movin' Out (Anthony's Song)
498 Mickey
499 Mean
500 Mercy
501 Merry Christmas Darling
502 Let's Wait Awhile
503 Man In The Mirror
504 Rather Be
505 Rise
506 Good Vibrations
507 Faithfully
508 Firework
509 How Deep Is Your Love
510 Fix You
511 Fire And Rain
512 Give Your Heart A Break
513 Rockin' Around The Christmas Tree
514 Little Girls
515 Cry
516 Bust A Move
517 Bridge Over Troubled Water
518 Bring Him Home
519 Cheek To Cheek
520 Break Free
521 As Long As You're There
522 Big Ass Heart
523 Bitch
524 Bamboleo / Hero
525 Away In A Manger
526 Deck The Rooftop
527 Christmas Eve With You
528 Angels We Have Heard On High
529 Creep
530 Crush
531 Make No Mistake, She's Mine
532 Lose My Breath
533 Look At Me I'm Sandra Dee (Reprise)
534 What I Did For Love
535 Wake Me Up
536 Thousand Miles
537 Take A Bow
538 Still Got Tonight
539 The Music Of The Night
540 Stereo Hearts
541 The Chipmunk Song (Christmas Don't Be Late)
542 Take Me Or Leave Me
543 I'm The Only One
544 Isn't She Lovely
545 I Just Can't Stop Loving You
546 I'll Never Fall In Love Again
547 Unchained Melody
548 You're A Mean One, Mr. Grinch
549 You Have More Friends Than You Know
550 You Should Be Dancing
551 I'm His Child
552 You Learn / You've Got A Friend
553 Somewhere
554 So Far Away
555 Uptown Funk
556 The Winner Takes It All
557 They Long To Be Close To You
558 Tonight
559 Being Good Isn't Good Enough
560 You May Be Right
561 To Love You More
562 Don't Wanna Lose You
563 Do You Hear What I Hear?
564 Ice Ice Baby
565 Don't Go Breaking My Heart
566 Don't Make Me Over
567 I Won't Give Up
568 I'll Be Home For Christmas
569 I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For
570 I Still Believe / Super Bass
571 I Wanna Dance With Somebody (Who Loves Me)
572 I Want You Back
573 Father Figure
574 Everybody Hurts
574 Gangnam Style
576 We Are The Champions
577 Stayin' Alive
578 Superman
579 The Rose
580 Don't Stop Believin' (Rachel)
581 Fly / I Believe I Can Fly
582 Gives You Hell
583 I Love L.A.
584 Mr. Roboto / Counting Stars
585 O Holy Night
586 Only The Good Die Young
587 One
588 Silent Night
589 Piano Man
590 Sexy And I Know It
591 Sgt. Pepper's Lonley Hearts Club Band
592 Pretending
593 Physical
594 Danny's Song
595 Stand
596 The Final Countdown
597 You Can't Always Get What You Want
598 You Are Woman, I Am Man
599 You've Lost That Lovin' Feelin'
600 Your Song
601 Say
602 No Air
603 Need You Now
604 No Surrender
605 Piece Of My Heart
606 Thong Song
607 Blurred Lines
608 Another One Bites The Dust
609 I Was Here
610 Bella Notte
611 I Know What Boys Like
612 God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen
613 Glory Days
614 Friday
615 More Than Words
616 Waiting For A Girl Like You
617 Welcome Christmas
618 You Spin Me Round (Like A Record)
619 You Give Love A Bad Name
620 We Built This City
621 Whistle
622 Who Are You Now?
623 You And I / You And I
624 Take Care Of Yourself
625 Tell Me Something Good
626 The Rain In Spain
627 Can't Fight This Feeling
628 Jingle Bell Rock
629 In Your Eyes
630 Hello
631 Good Riddance (Time Of Your Life)
632 I Only Have Eyes For You
633 Jingle Bells
634 Joy To The World
635 I Wanna Sex You Up
636 Fight For Your Right (To Party)
637 Feliz Navidad
638 I'm So Excited
639 Uninvited
640 The Living Years
641 The Fox (What Does The Fox Say?)
642 O Christmas Tree
643 One Love (People Get Ready)
644 Ohio
645 Only Child
646 Hello Twelve, Hello Thirteen, Hello Love
647 My Sharona
648 Dance The Night Away
649 Poison
650 My Cup
651 Not The End
652 What It Feels Like For A Girl
653 Listen To Your Heart
654 Little Drummer Boy
655 One Hand, One Heart
656 Bein' Green
657 Big Spender
658 Billionaire
659 Ben
660 Gimme More
661 Burning Up
662 Hey Ya!
663 Hey, Soul Sister
664 Baby Got Back
665 Blue Christmas
666 Bohemian Rhapsody
667 Far From Over
668 The Trolley Song
669 Starlight Express
670 Whip It
671 You're The Top
672 Red Solo Cup
673 Next To Me
674 Rolling In The Deep
675 Rainbow Connection
676 La Cucaracha
677 (You're) Having My Baby
678 A Little Less Conversation
679 Happy
680 Highway To Hell
681 Same Love
682 Rock Lobster
683 Girls Just Want To Have Fun
#glee#glee song ranking#ranking#my thoughts#mine#umm so funny story#well first of all some of the mash ups werent even together#like anyway you want it and lovin touchin squeezin#they were listed as their own songs#i thought they'd end up being closer but they arent and thats hilarious#also there's the scientist and then the scientist acoustic?? idk what that is#but they're close together#umm home by michael bubbles#it did not tell me what the song was#it literally said (michael buble version) or something#and i did not think to look it up until after my results#sooo... if i knew it was a rory song it would not be that high lmao#anyway as you can see it is a bit of a mess#but my top ten is really solid again<3#oh also there was only one 'just the way you are'#so i chose to pretend it was the s5 version which is why its higher#than if i were pretending it were the s2 version
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An excerpt from my short story “The Deep Web:”
The Internet. That one word holds everything humankind knows about or want to know. We enter anything in the search engine, and a million sites and articles open up for us. We seek and feel comfort in the faces we've never seen in our lives. It brings everyone across the globe together as one. It's also the world's largest library with a growing number of books. We have access to almost everything thanks to the Internet, right?
Well, you're wrong.
There is this other side of the Internet that nobody wants to know about, and those who've gone on there have vowed to never even think about doing so ever again.
It can't be that bad, you might think?
Again, you're wrong.
The other side of the Internet is called the Deep Web. It's not the surface Internet we all know and use, and there's no way you can search the things on there on Google.
The reason I'm telling you all of this is that I'm warning you to stay away from the Deep Web. Trust me, it's for the best if you erase the thought of going on it from your mind.
I'm warning you because of what I'm about to tell you. It might chill you to the bones, but people need to know about this. The following happened to me two days ago.
The Deep Web was getting to be popular these days at my university. The students would always talk about their weird experiences with the web and the crazy things that happened with some people they know. Heck, I'd even hear about my sixteen-year-old cousins going on there when we'd see each other for family gatherings.
It's said to be the hidden Internet where things like drugs, murder, human experimentation, hiring a hitman and all that crazy stuff. As if I ever cared. It didn't interest me. It's pretty much where all the fucked up crap lies.
It was Friday night, and I had just finished a video call with one of my friends, Marcus. He was telling me how the Deep Web has all these secrets, tricks and ways to hack specific sites, but I didn't want to.
I had put my laptop in sleep mode before shutting it, placing it carefully beside my night lamp on my bedside table and turn my night lamp off.
Sometimes, I get these nagging thoughts in my brain that urged me to open my laptop, go onto the Deep Web and surf through it just for those government secrets. What was a twenty-two-year-old to be lawyer supposed to look for anyway?
I shivered at the thought of going on the Deep Web. It's not like I was scared or anything. I'm sure of it.
I simply don't want to look like a scared assclown who never went on the Deep Web in front of the whole campus who did.
Screw it. I was going to explore this web. What's the worst that can happen? I have no bad intentions for my exploration. I was only curious.
——————
Read the full short story here!
#authors#wattpad#wattpad writer#writeblr#writer things#writers on tumblr#writing#writing life#writing community#my writing#writerslife#free write#short excerpt#excerpts from my writing
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I HAD A FUCKING EXPLOSION THE OTHER DAY—
So if you follow me you know that sometimes I make Royal Chaos content. If you’re also a history geek like me you’d know that most of the heroes from RC if not all are based off of real people.
Six out of eight of the most beautiful people of Chinese history are in the game, being Pan’An, Song Yu, Prince Gao, who is also known as Lanling Wang for the men, and Diaochan, Zhaojun, and Yuhuan for the women.
The other two are missing: Wei Jie and Xi Shi.
But good news for you all because after some digging I found them. And they are SO CUTE! We need to make a petition for RC to put these characters into the game! I can DEFINITELY see the four most beautiful men and women having a connection with one another, like little hubs! 😫 But I know what you’re thinking now, maybe some of you. Royal Chaos shouldn’t take from other games! Oh, but my dearest reader, you do know that some of Royal Chaos’s characters are in different games too, right? It wouldn’t be “taking from,” now if they just stole the concept than yes it would be. It’s not like Sega took Mario and co for the Olympic Games, and Vice versa. It’s kind of like that in a sense. ☺️
So, with no further adieu, I bring to you...
✨Headcanons on what class they’d be in and what they can do, as well as background information!✨
Disclaimer: I’m terribly sorry if I spell any of this wrong, Chinese is not my first language and it’s hard to spell out in English. Also, tw // war and suicide mentions, as well as descriptions of murder and violence, just in case...
This is Xi Shi.
Her clothes actually remind me a lot of Diaochan’s with the colors, as well as the moon in the back, as per history, Diaochan was so beautiful the moon would shy away when being compared to her. Xi Shi on the other hand, was believed to be so beautiful that when fish would see her as they swam by, they would forget how to swim and sink to the bottom of whatever body of water they were swimming in. (Beauty can really kill huh?) Out of the four most beautiful women in ancient China, she was considered to be the first.
Her Background and Biography
Xi Shi was born in 506 BC on the nineteenth of July in China’s Zhejiang Province in a small village called Xi Cun, or “West Village.” Because a lot of people that lived there had “Shi” as a last name, and because she was born in the west, she was referred to as Xi Shi. She was born into a pretty ordinary household. Her father sold firewood for a living and her mother did silkwork. Ever since she was little, she would go out to this river to wash the silk that her mother had made. She lived during the Spring and Autumn Period, and within that time, China wasn’t a “whole country,” it was made up of several kingdoms fighting against each other. Xi Shi is from the state of Yue, which had been vanquished by the state of Wu. After that the Emperor of Yue, Gou Jian, was forced to serve the Emperor of Wu, Fu Chai, for three years. Gou Jian then thought of a plan to defeat the Wu State and take power back. He knew that the Fu Chai was a sucker for pretty women, and he also knew that if Fu Chai was surrounded with beautiful women, he would be too distracted to work for his state. But for this plan to work, Gou Jian needed to find a woman that had stunning beauty that was willing to sacrifice herself for the better of the country. Gou Jian found Xi Shi and he picked her. He then asked his minister, Fan Li, to take Xi Shi to Fu Chai as a tribute gift from Yue. On the way however, she fell in love with him, as he was wise and kind. He reciprocated her feelings in turn. Now, they could have escaped this plan and thwarted it but they were both loyal to their country. So, they made a pledge of their undying love for one another in secret. When she was brought before Fu Chai, he was indeed entranced by her, spending more and more time with her, neglecting his duties. After some time, he realized that he should not have been bewitched by her, as the Yue Stare had become more powerful due to his neglectful behavior. Gou Jian had invaded the state of Wu and forced Fu Chai to commit suicide. When this happened, Xi Shi’s mission was complete. The ending that I choose to believe is that she reunited with Fan Li and she lived on with him after he quit his job as a minister. The other ending is really grim...
Her Class and Quality
Xi Shi could definitely be a scholar, an AOE especially. I can imagine that she could do something similar to that of Diaochan, despite her being a medic. She could impact the opposing formations’ abilities to put damage on the formation shes defending using a debuff, much like Daji can do. I can see her being a Defense Hero and possibly having strength in Control for all these reasons, as well as real history, helping her state in the face of despair. She could be considered as a fabled hero, but could also be an epic hero considering the bloat of the fabled class making up mostly half of the hero cast as a whole.
Her Possible Abilities
Chant of Heroism
She can attack anywhere from 4 to 8 times descending on CRIT, dealing 60%+164 DMG to a random front enemy with each hit, lasting one round. Until three layers are tagged, the enemy will lose anywhere from 15 to 25 HP, decreasing DEF by 4%.
Promising Honor
50:50 chance of tagging a back or front target. Allies then force attention to the front if the tag is in the back, dealing 5% more damage. This tag cannot be dispelled for two rounds.
Her Preferred Gems and Treasure
Gems: DEF, ATK, ACC
Treasure: Primarily something with a DEF bonus, so the lamps, each one activating her Destiny ability. However, any other treasure that offers an ATK or RES bonus is also good.
Her Occupation
I can imagine her working in the Ministry of Defense as a General, much like Wen Ruyan. For her other occupation, she could be a poet of some kind, probably a primary or mid poet, something like that, or she could be a primary chess sage.
Hero Compatibility
She could work with other scholars that can do some damage, namely Song Yu and Ying Zheng. She could also work with medics depending on their skill set. Diaochan would be a prime choice.
~~~~
The guy on the right is Wei Jie.
Look at that cat! (´⊙ω⊙`) But for real, this poor guy. He reminds me of the “gentle giant” archetype. Not just because of his looks, no, he’s actually ill with some kind of disease. (I have a head canon that it’s AIDS/HIV, but I don’t have a lot of evidence to support that right now. All I know is that his immune system is very weak to infection and he has respiratory problems and it’s just that he’s very weak overall...) Despite his health however, he’s actually compared to Jade, being like a jade doll. Jade is very valuable in China and is considered to be a very precious stone, especially in the eyes of aristocrats and royalty. Out of the four most handsome men in ancient China, he was considered as the fourth.
His Background and Biography
(I had to use multiple resources for this, I couldn’t find a lot of information on him, so I had to get creative. Sorry!)
Wei Jie, like Pan’An, also lived during the Xi Jin (Western Jin) Dynasty. He was born into a very wealthy household, and was recognized for his beauty alone at the age of five. His uncle, who also had extraordinary good looks, said that walking with his nephew was like “having a gleaming pearl at my side.” He had fans from far and wide, causing chaos and the forming of something along the lines of a twisted harem to form under his shadow. When Wei Jie grew up, this only got worse. Hoards of women would literally block the streets and chase after him because they all wanted him so badly, which this caused a lot of backlash onto his family. Because his family was aristocratic, they had to keep a sensible reputation. People were jealous of the Wei family because of the immense wealth and beauty that they all possessed. Luckily, Wei Jie couldn’t go out that often, as he doesn’t have a strong body, and has been ill since his infancy. He wasn’t allowed to go out during his childhood because of the fear that whatever ailment he had could spread. Because of this belief and the immense jealousy that others had, most of his family, with the exception of his father, fifth uncle, and cousin, were all murdered quite brutally. This lead him to be the young master of the Wei Manor. This pattern of not going out a lot and things continued on for some time. He would go out on occasion if he really needed something, and he didn’t necessarily like all the attention he brought to himself unknowingly. He grew easily overwhelmed by it and constantly sought to get away from the large groups of people that swarmed him. This anxiety and stress of attention exhausted him, and he actually passed from all that exhaustion. He was “watched to death,” as people said. Poor guy... he just wanted to be alone... let us introverts be!
His Class and Quality
Oh, he’s a medic, for sure. I know also that he was an imperial physician in the game I found him from, but he only worked on commission, if that makes sense, like if people actually wanted to be treated by him. He would kind of be like a better version of Shizhen. Very agile and quick, but also the more you get to him, his attack rate can slowly increase. I can see him being some kind of control hero. Back Support too, that would make sense. So control + support. He would be in Fabled Class, definitely. Props to him!
His Possible Abilities
Jade Solstice
Chanting a medical spell from his calabash gourd, he can stun a front line enemy for one round, lowering 20 rage. If a critical is achieved, they will turn chaotic and attack other members of their formation for one round, taking away 15% of the enemies overall DEF and then giving it to his other formation members.
Internal Grace
Shielding himself using the gourd’s energy, he gains 10% RES. Any rage prompted attack he makes will grant him 2% more ATK bonus points for one round, increasing the formation’s overall CRIT by 10%. This can be layered twice and cannot be dispelled or immune to.
His Preferred Gems and Treasure
Gems: HP, CRIT, ATK
Treasure: To increase damage while keeping DEF, use the stamps. However, any CRIT or ATK bonus treasure is good too, just as long as it buffs his accuracy as well!
His Occupation
This is where it got tricky. I would assume he would work alongside Pan’An in the Ministry of Rites where they would compose poems together. It’s just that since he can’t actually go out too much that’s where it gets a little complicated. He could probably act as some kind of moderator or something along those lines, something where he wouldn’t have to deal with people that much.
Hero Compatibility
He would need strong tanks to help him out. Prince Gao, Prince Jing, or even Xiang Yu would be good for him. He would also want heroes that would boost his abilities even more, gotta have that support, you know? Wu Zetian, Yuhuan, or Pan’An would be good choices.
~~~~
Now for the final part...
✨Connections✨
Xi Shi
I think they’re’s already a connection that has Zhaojun, Diaochan, and Yuhuan in it. I would take that and add Xi Shi into the connection, but also bring her attributes to the table, in summary. What I mean by that is take her attributes and summarize them into one. So her strongest asset would be the fact that she could be an AOE with a control bonus. She could add ACC and DEF to the table to help with your formation if activated.
Wei Jie
Just like the ladies, I know there’s already a connection with Pan’An, Song Yu, and Prince Gao in it. Same deal, take it, put him in it, and add his summarized ability. He could be a Medic with strength in CRIT. So, he could bring CRIT to the table, obviously, as well as extra ATK buffs if activated.
~~~~
To conclude, *coughs as if to clear throat* Xi Shi, Wei Jie. We need to add them. The quartets aren’t filled up yet. Wouldn’t it be a surprise for them to finally come together in gorgeous matrimony as the queens they are? All heroes are queens. Plain and simple, not matter how awful their skill sets may be at times. (We see you, Shizhen. You matter, even though his skill set isn’t the best he’s still kinda great 😅)
#royal chaos headcanons#royal chaos#fabled hero headcanons#headcanons#royal chaos theories#infrawrites#tw //
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raid and velvet: a love story (peter parker x reader)
ahh my first peter parker!! i hope this is what you are looking for!! i’m sorry it’s messy and not that good.
word count: 1.7k
day 1
Bucky stepped out of the medical room, the sound of screaming was heard until he closed the door behind him. Steve looked up at him, a glitter of hope flashing through his eyes.
“Hydra has most likely had them for a while, but I think I can break through to ‘em,” Bucky nodded his head, his metal hand running through his long hair.
“How old are they?”
“15, 16 at most,” Peter looked up at that, the idea of someone that was his age excited him.
“Think big boy could help?” Sam asked for his spot beside Steve.
“Might not hurt,” Bucky shrugged as he looked back at the body struggling in restraints.
“I felt bad for shooting at her, but she was coming at me man,” Tony stood on the farthest wall, watching the screaming kid in his medical room. His heart was breaking, imagining if this was his kid.
“Just give it time Stark, they got a chance to get better now.”
day 28
The screaming had died down incredibly, the medical room looked much calmer now then it did a few days ago.
“All you have to do is talk to them, keep the questions basic.”
Peter nodded at Nat’s word, watching the body that laid on the bed, hands and felt tied down.
Peter pushed to the door, looking over the room quickly before looking at the ex-Hydra soldier.
“Oh so they sent in the flower child to take care of me now,” the sarcastic comment was followed by an eye roll.
“I’m Peter.” Peter took the seat in the corner of the room, still scared they could somehow kill him.
“Cute.”
Peter watched as they pulled at the chains at their wrist, a loud groan filled the room.
“What’s your name?”
“(Y/N).”
Peter looked down at his lap, thinking over every question he’d heard other kids ask in the hallways at MidTown.
“Do you like cake?”
Peter cringed as soon as the words fell past his lips, embarrassed he even thought for a second that was a good question.
“Oh of course, I also love glitter and unicorns,” (Y/N) looked over at Peter with a fake bright smile.
Peter knew it was fake, but it made her look younger for some reason.
“I think you’d like a red velvet cake, you seem like a red velvet type person,” Peter played with his finger, listening to Steve and Nat talk right outside the door of the medical room.
“Never had it.”
Peter looked up, an offended look on his face as he looked them over again.
“You’ve never had red velvet cake?”
A loud sigh full form (Y/N) lips, a wicked chuckle followed closely after.
“Well Hydra didn’t exactly do birthday parties,” (Y/N) pulled at the chains again before letting their head fall back against the bed.
“Can you leave, I wanna get some sleep.”
Peter quickly stood up, he felt bad for even trying to make the room lighter.
“Talk to you later (Y/N),” Peter didn’t want for her response before he ran out the door to join Steve and Nat.
“Mr. America, I don’t think she likes me very much,” Peter said, looking wide-eyed between the two.
“You’re the only person she’s brought up Hydra too,” Nat said gently, looking behind Peter into the medical.
A small feeling of pride filled Peter up, maybe this would be fun.
day 52
Peter smiled as he knocked on the door of the medical room, watching as (Y/N) looked up and nodded their head.
Peter walked in, a small box held tightly in his left hand.
“Morning (Y/N),” Peter skipped over to the seat in the middle of the room, slightly closer than the one he sat in on the first meeting.
“Morning Raid.”
Peter rolled his nickname, cursing the day Sam and Bucky decided to come in together.
“You don’t have to call me that,” Peter chuckled as they crossed their arms over their chest.
“Bucky told me too, I trust Bucky.”
Peter wouldn’t ever say it, I mean he understood the situation, but he wished (Y/N) trust him like they trust Bucky.
“I have something for you,” Peter smiled as he opened the box and titled it to (Y/N).
The red velvet cupcake sat in the center of the box, a bunch of white frosting and a Spiderman ring sat on top.
“How do I know it’s safe to eat?”
(Y/N) pulled their leg closer to their chest, a black look across their face.
Peter flashed the top of the box, Bucky chicken scratch of a signature writing on the top of the box.
“Bucky signed it so you would know.”
Peter moved the chair slightly closer, moving the box closer so (Y/N) could look at it better.
“You said something about not having red velvet before and I was going to just wait for your birthday but we don’t know when your birthday is,” Peter rambled as he watched (Y/N) gently pull the cupcake from the box.
(Y/N) smelt the frost before taking a small lick, a little white frosting collecting on the tip of their nose.
Without taking their eyes off the cupcake, they began speaking.
“October 17th,” they took a large lick of the frosting and looked up at Peter.
“What?”
“My birthday is October 17th, I think. I don’t know, it’s the one Hydra gave me.”
Peter watched as they finally took a bite of the cupcake, a hint of a smile forming behind the frosting.
“How about we make today your birthday?”
Peter walked as (Y/N) looked up at him, a small nod as they turned back to look at the cupcake.
“Okay, on February 1st every year we will celebrate your birthday.”
(Y/N) only pulled the Spider-Man ring off the cupcake, turning it to face Peter.
“Really?”
“What, I couldn't help.”
Peter smiled as (Y/N) placed the ring on the bedside table, going back to eating their cupcake.
“Can I get so much alone time?”
Peter smiled gently at them as he stood up from his seat.
“Yeah, when can I see you again?”
(Y/N) only shrugged their shoulders and continued eating their red velvet cupcake.
day 164
“Hi Raid,” (Y/N) waved at him as he walked into the room, Bucky and Sam sitting in their seats.
“Bug boy, what are you doing here?” Sam smiled as Peter took the seat closest to (Y/N), only she would let Peter, Bucky, and Nat sit there.
“Velvet told me to stop back at lunch,” Peter held up a bag, two sandwiches could be seen in the bag.
“Velvet?”
Bucky smiled as (Y/N) pulled at the threads on the sheets, pleased they were getting somewhere. must be faster than they expected.
“It’s a nickname.”
Peter watched Bucky and Sam smile at each other, a smirk playing at both their lips.
“Well (Y/N), Stark and Nat will be here later to help you move,” Same stood as patted the end of the bed.
They both left the room, looking back behind them until they turned the corner.
“Move? Are you leaving?”
Peter felt his heartbreak slightly, not wanting the only person he wanted to see at the compound most days to leave.
“I’m leaving the medical wing,” (Y/N) reached for the bag, pulling out a sandwich and unwrapping it.
“Where are you going?”
“I’m getting a real room.”
Peter watched the small smile play at (Y/N), but quickly covered it with the sandwich.
“Oh that amazing (Y/N), you are doing better than we all thought,” Peter pulled his own sandwich out of the bag, happy that (Y/N and him could actually walk around the compound together.
“Eh.”
Peter brow drew together, confused why the first thing (Y/N) thought to say was “eh”.
“Eh?”
A quick shrug and another bite of the sandwich, looking everywhere but Peter.
“I still don’t feel right.”
Peter looked up, waiting for them to continue with the statement.
“I don't know, I just feel like what everyone tells me I am,” (Y/N) pulled out a bit of lettuce, throwing in at Peter.
Peter dodged the lettuce, not even giving it much thought.
“Who do you want to be?”
(Y/N) looked up at Peter, a confused look in their eyes.
“I don't know, I guess that's the problem.”
day 284
“Peter, get out of my room!”
(Y/N) at the top of their lungs, a slight panic filled Peter that they’d break like yesterday.
“I’m not leaving.”
(Y/N) picked up a pillow and threw it as full force to Peter, which Peter early caught and placed on the ground.
“I could snap again, you saw me yesterday in the kitchen.”
Peter rolled his eyes, trying to slowly walk closer while (Y/N) screamed at him.
“It’s not a big deal.”
Peter gently held out both hands, (Y/N) grabbed a sleeve and rolled it up. The sight of Peter banging his forearm looked nasty to anyone who wasn’t in the compound.
“I attacked you with one of Pepper’s cooking knives!”
The way (Y/N) voice crack had Peter look away, upset that they were upset.
“I shouldn't have been trying to help Flash with his Russian in front of you,” Peter pulled the sleeve of his shirt down, trying to forget the thing even happened.
“Peter, you were helping a friend over the phone. I’m the crazy one here.”
(Y/N) pushed Peter's chest, pushing him till his back hit the wall.
“(Y/N), friends won't leave you so I’m not leaving.”
“I don't wanna be your friend!”
Peter felt the rain that was falling outside had suddenly gotten loud and the air around him suddenly had gotten harder to breathe.
“What do you want then?”
Peter now could feel his own voice crack, the idea of you loving him back seemed crazy but apparently you didn’t even want to be around him.
“I-i wanna kiss your neck.”
Peter watched at (Y/N) pushed farther away, a single tear slipping down her face.
Peter jumped off the door, gripping (Y/N) wrist. He dragged himself closer until his lips crashed into theirs. (Y/N) hand slowly crept up Peter’s arm, soon was playing with the hair at the nap of his neck.
He felt her teeth run over his bottom lip and his brain felt like it was going to explode.
(Y/N) started pulling away, having to push Peter back slightly just so they could get some air.
“I’m sorry, Raid.”
“Don’t be, Velvet.”
#peter parker#peter parker x reader#marvel x reader#peter parker x y/n#bucky barnes#sam wilson#tony stark#steve rogers#natasha romanoff#wanda maximoff#marvel#loki#thor ragnarok
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How Important Contact is to Kagome & Inuyasha’s Relationship
Some may recall that a good time back I did a post called "Inuyasha and Human Contact" which was largely focused on how Inuyasha grew up and how overtime, his time around Kagome allows him to get his humanity back. I've been asked to do something of a chronological rundown of his contact with Kagome over the course of the series.
Now remember this is only covering physical contact, hand holding and the like. I am also going to be skipping some of the things that happened in the beginning that involve this, don't think anything before the point where he tells Kagome to climb on his back while pursuing Lord Frog technically count since most of that is more because things need to be done, not him wanting to do thing.
I'm also not going to cover every instance of them being next to one another or Kagome holding onto Inuyasha's arm... instances of that become numerous enough, so numerous in fact that there isn’t much of a need for the “big moments”, it’s established so much by that point that’s it’s just kind of a natural thing for them, by then these two are always next to one another.
In the beginning it's actually Inuyasha that initiates a lot of the contact between the two of them, it takes Kagome a little while to reciprocate that contact, before they both reciprocate it back and forth to one another.
Chapter #19: This marks the first time that he willingly asks Kagome to get onto his back to get over the castle wall. He's more than happy to have Kagome there by this point, and makes it a point of argument when Nobunaga tries to follow.
Chapter #22: Marks the first time they actually are sitting next to one another, before this they're always kept at a distance from one another, but here they are both sitting on the blanket Kagome laid out.
Chapter #34: Inuyasha panics when he realizes that Kagome may be dead and that her spirit is talking to him before she leaves, he lunges out and tries to grab her hand, and actually does. It takes him a moment to realize that she hasn't gone anywhere. This marks the first time these two actually held hands, even Kagome is taken aback by him doing it, naturally he immediately moves his hand away after he realizes he's holding her hand, but not before a noticeable blush forms on his cheeks.
Chapter #37: I skipped an instance like this at the beginning, his reason for grabbing Kagome and putting her on his back was to race off after the Carrion Crow, or when they raced off to fight Yura. In those instances he had a reason, in this instance, he doesn't, he doesn't want to get involved in the situation one way or another, but when he realizes that Kagome's worried and she will not stop until she saves Mayu he changes his mind, grabs her and races off trying to help her.
Chapter #40: Some might wonder why I am including him giving Kagome, Tessaiga and why I didn't include him giving her the Robe of the Fire Rat during the Yura arc. I consider that latter more of a necessity (and he also had not yet called her by her real name), in this case it's still kind of necessity but he's trusting her with his sword to protect her and Nazuna.
Chapter #42: Inuyasha asks her if he can lay his head on his lap. By far the closets the two have gotten thus far, and it's actually Inuyasha asking for that closeness. The confessions he makes after this only adds to the scene.
Chapter #45: Marks the closest the two of them have been to one another, when Kagome sits down besides Inuyasha. Second time that Inuyasha grabs onto her hand when Kagome questions him about the similarities to Kikyo, she believes he hates her because of that, he's even leaned in a little closer to her when he tries to explain that, that isn't the case.
Chapter #52: After Miroku runs off with Kagome's bike and the shards, Kagome sits down beside him and apologizes to him. He leans a little away in surprise and tries to play off his worry to be about the shards, not Kagome herself. Inadvertently admitting that he was more worried about Kagome than the jewel, the flustered blush only adds to the scene. By this point, Kagome on his back is kind of commonplace for him.
Chapter #54: When Miroku, does what he does, reaching out and rubbing Kagome's butt, Inuyasha immediately moves his hand around Kagome and pulls her towards him. Kagome would turn and hug up close to him. When Miroku makes the proposal to Kagome to have his child, Inuyasha immediately puts distance between the two of them, moving Kagome behind him and away from Miroku.
Chapter #56: When they realize that the Hell Painter is closeby, Miroku runs off with Kagome's bike, Kagome is prepared to run after him before Inuyasha grabs her and races off with her on his back. It's becoming a bit of a habit by this point.
Chapter #62: After Kagome is knocked out when Sesshomaru throws Inuyasha in her direction, Inuyasha moves his hand to the side of her face and cradles her cheek, right before he turns and gives Sesshomaru a death-glare for what he’s done.
Chapter #64: Inuyasha again reaches out and grabs onto her hand, this turns into a hug next to the well together. This is followed by him making the decision that being around him is far too dangerous for her.
Chapter #70: Kagome runs over to Inuyasha after she gets through the well and hugs him. He's taken aback a little. This is actually the first time that Kagome initiates the contact.
Chapter #73: By far and large the closest they have been up to this point, Kagome leans up against Inuyasha. Inuyasha freezes in places not expecting her to be so close to him. Asking the reason why, only leads to him revealing that he was thinking that something more was going on than just Kagome being scared. It's actually incredible how rigid he actually seems to get from the mere fact that she's leaning up close to him, he's completely rattled and flustered. When the princess their watching raises up Kagome immediately clings to Inuyasha wrapping her arms around him.
Chapter #78: Sitting close to one another while they're talking about what Inuyasha said to Kagome and what he said to Kikyo. This is the moment where he tells Kagome that he wants to be around her and that he feels relaxed when she is around him, but cannot forgot about Kikyo and has to find a way to make up for what happened between the two of them. This scene shifts from them starting out side-to-side, with Kagome having her back to him, and Inuyasha sitting upright facing forward, this turns into them leaning back to back against one another.
Chapter #111: After Kagome blasts Naraku to shreds at his castle, Kagome explains the reason she got angry, was due to how Naraku was mocking Sango, and Inuyasha, a flustered and blushing Inuyasha walks over and casually sits down right next to her (at this point he's just used to being next to her), trying to play it off as a dumb reason, but pretty obviously happy to hear that.
Chapter #112: The first time that Inuyasha just casually falls asleep while riding around on the back of her bike, this is a rarity seeing him so relaxed in the Feudal Era, being next to and alone with Kagome likely helps that fact.
Chapter #124: Inuyasha grabs onto Kagome's hand when she questions his reason for being there. He's taken aback by her asking about Kikyo, when the whole reason he was there was because he remembered her. He's scared, not only because he almost lost her and himself, but he also believes that Kagome has lost faith in him. After the experience with the Illusionary Death, realizing that the day that Kikyo and himself turned on one another that he lost his humanity, faith and heart, only to regain them all when he met Kagome, has him in a very heightened state of mind.
Chapter #135: Think this one tends to get looked over. Koga tries to play the protector throughout all of this (despite him being the reason that Kagome is there to begin with), despite the fact that the wolves keep her safe, nothing stops Kagome from running over to Inuyasha and hugging him when she sees him. We'd get a repeat of this scene later during the Band of 7 arc, but it's amazing to watch it happen right around the time that Koga and Inuyasha started fighting over her, up until the point where I believe even Koga didn't want to admit he'd lost later.
Chapter #140: After the fight, and the back and forth of the two of them debating whether they should go back or not, Kagome decides to when she realizes that Inuyasha came to her time to see her. They reconcile after a few moments before Kagome leans up against Inuyasha (and it's by far the furthest one yet, her head is fully resting on his shoulder), Inuyasha, who is blushing, doesn't seem to mind this one bit.
Chapter #157: Kagome hugs him after she returns him back to his normal self, the move flusters him and leaves him blushing.
Chapter #158: In a moment under the stars they sit close to one another and share drinks, they both have a moment where they talk about how Inuyasha was in his demon form, Inuyasha promises her that no matter what happen he will never forgot her. (A nice connection to the Illusionary Death I might add.)
Chapter #164: When Koga arrives, Inuyasha naturally steps between Koga and Kagome. While they are sitting down and talking with Koga, Inuyasha and Kagome are extremely close to one another as well, Kagome is almost leaning on him.
Chapter #171: Not technically human contact, but he sits next to the well looking into it wondering what Kagome is doing in her time. This is more wanting her around him, than physical contacting. Cheating? Eh maybe, but the end result is going to be the same.
Chapter #176: Kagome is the one to initiate the hand-holding, Inuyasha returns it, this marks the first time that they both hold onto one another's hand rather than just one of them grabbing the others.
Chapter #182: Inuyasha draps his arm around Kagome's shoulders and pulls her in closer to him. He also admits that he actually worried about what could have happened to her and apologizes for him not being there for her.
Chapter #187: Kagome draps her arms around Inuyasha's neck leaning up against his back as she does so and hugging him, Inuyasha in turn brings his hand up and gripping his hand onto hers. It's a pretty close mirror to what happened previously, Kagome supporting Inuyasha in a moment of pain.
Chapter #195: After the arrow misses, Kagome falls down, and we see Inuyasha instinctively wrapping his arms around Kagome in a hug to support her.
Chapter #198: After the battle with Tsubaki, Inuyasha carries Kagome away on his back, this is where Inuyasha again apologizes for him always getting her into trouble, and how she is stuck with him, but is shocked when he hears Kagome brush that off and tell him that she's with him because she wants to be with him.
Chapter #224: Ah, the scene where Inuyasha falls asleep on Kagome's bed. Also marks the first time (and as far as we see only time) he spent the night over at Kagome's house too.
Chapter #225: Koga appears, naturally Inuyasha makes sure to put distance between the two, standing between Koga and Kagome.
Chapter #229: Can I count him hiding behind Kagome for protection from Sango? Believe it counts.
Chapter #233: Kagome stays outside with Inuyasha (who has the giant boulder sealed to his hand), not wanting him to feel lonely. Naturally he tells her she doesn't have to stay with him, and of course when she gets up to leave, believing she is bothering him, he quickly tells her she’s not and she stays.
Chapter #244: Inuyasha cries and clutches Kagome to his chest when he believes that Kagome has died. Marking the first time he's cried in the series (or if we go by what Myoga says, never, at least as far as he's known Inuyasha).
Chapter #245: Koga appears, Inuyasha literally swipes Koga's hands away from Kagome. I'd also further point out that even as Koga is trying to scold Inuyasha for putting Kagome in danger, you can see Kagome's hand on Inuyasha's arm, she's also very close to his side when they stand up.
Chapter #249: Inuyasha notices that Kagome isn't on his back as they're traveling, it bothers him so much that he stops the entire group to find out what happened. At this point to him it's kind of how things are supposed to be, and when she's not around it bothers him.
Chapter #265: Believing Inuyasha to be dead, Kagome lunges over at Inuyasha when he's revealed to be alive, crying and hugging him. A nice connection to when Inuyasha cried and hugged her before, and this more or less was the scene where Koga lost (though he wasn't willing to admit that). Inuyasha returns the hug and apologizes for making her worry.
Chapter #285: After Kagome's revelation that she loves Inuyasha and breaks free from the control of the baby, she falls back into Inuyasha's arms who clutches her closely to him.
Chapter #286: After a discussion where Kagome tells Inuyasha that she understands he has a duty to protect Kikyo, she leans in and snuggles up to him.
Chapter #287: Not really actual contact, but he does admit that he came to see her because he wanted to see her. It's hard to actually pin-point when it started, but this is largely where Kagome starts to hold onto Inuyasha's arm when she is standing next to him.
Chapter #332: This is another technicality, but here Inuyasha pretty much makes it clear that she doesn't need her bicycle (he didn't like it anyway), he's more than happy to carry her around (not that he hasn't and already doesn't mind carrying her around up to this point).
Chapter #339: Koga appears, and Inuyasha moves Kagome away from Koga and behind him. Of course this time things don't work out as he intended...
Chapter #355: Inuyasha loses control of his demon side inside of the demon's belly, while fusing the shards into the Tessaiga. Kagome lunges forward and grabs onto him in a tight hug, stabilizing and purifying the evil in the shards for him to get off the attack needed to free them.
Chapter #356: After escaping the belly of the demon they spend a long moment in a tree together, Inuyasha worries about the injuries she sustained caused by the demon's stomach acid, she assures him that they're fine and they are all safe because of him, they both lean up against one another as they look at the scenery in front of them.
Chapter #380: Koga appears, and Inuyasha moves Kagome away from Koga and behind him.
Chapter #382: Koga appears, and Inuyasha moves Kagome away from Koga and behind him. Haha.
Chapter #392: Inuyasha once more takes a nap in Kagome's bed.
Chapter #411: Carrying a tired ot Kagome who recently failed a small test because of her absences, he tries to cheer her up and tells her "I'll always be with you." Naturally it works.
Chapter #439: Koga hugs Kagome goodbye and Inuyasha tries to hit him with Tessaiga before he runs off.
Chapter #452: Koga grabs onto Kagome's hands, naturally that's not happening and he once again tries to attack Koga with the Tessaiga.
Chapter #520: I could pretty much put down this entire chapter to be perfectly honest. It being the last instance (at least full-chapter instance of the modern era) of Kagome and Inuyasha together. The almost-kiss being the biggest factor.
Chapter #556: "You're wrong! That is not the reason Kagome was born! Kagome taught me how to smile, how to trust people. It's because of Kagome that I have friends. Relying on my companions. Shedding tears for other people. True strength and kindness. Kagome taught me them all. Kagome was born so that she could meet me and I, too, for Kagome's sake.
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my thoughts on the en.deavour redemption arc (chs 164 - 302). DO NOT REBLOG.
DO NOT REBLOG !!
the endeavour redemption arc is a rather controversial arc in the manga, and, tl;dr: i think it started eh, continued badly, turned better, then ended like shit.
note: if you are anime only, this will contain spoilers !
trigger warnings: child abuse, domestic abuse, suicide, and murder.
here are the things we know: endeavour physically abused shōto, tōya, and rei. he ignored natsuo and fuyumi, and he discarded tōya once he realised that tōya got burnt through using his quirk. he also mentally and emotionally abused all of them. separated shōto from the rest of his siblings. not to mention the fact that he married rei on purpose in order to create the perfect tool that would become the number one hero in his stead. he thinks of his children as objects, as extensions of himself.
however, endeavour, not out of his own power but because of all might's lack of strength, ends up reaching the number one spot as a hero by himself. this kickstarts endeavour's "redemption" arc, particularly in chapter 164 when endeavour asks all might:
endeavour: you hear about this? how the crime rate this past month... is up 3% compared to past years? i... i'm the guy who resolved more incidents than anyone, now more than ever... but i can hear it. the thing you've built that cannot be seen... is crumbling down. so, #1 hero... what's it mean to be the symbol of peace? (ch 164)
in a lot of ways, this question is surprising to hear. as we can tell even in the question itself, endeavour's main area of focus has been about the amount of incidents that he has stopped, the amount of villains that he has defeated, but recognising that there was something missing, something that all might had built up, certainly shows an awareness that endeavour seemed to lack earlier.
in the next chapter, the conversation continues:
endeavour: i gave shōto everything. by age 20, i'd already climbed to the #2 position. it was because i made that climb that i understood... unless i reached the summit, it was all for nothing. if all i cared about were titles, i could've worn a smile like you... and played the part of the lovable fool. but i wanted to be the strongest!
[...]
all might: endeavor. the position you've been put in... i know what people are saying. a lot of people compare us. but you and i are different. the symbol i strove to be... that isn't the path for you to follow. take your time to figure out... ...the way you ought to do things. (ch 165)
again, we still see that hint of same sort of "all he cares about strength". being number one was all about being stronger than all might, which is why when he found it impossible for him, he went on to try to create something that could end up being stronger than both him and all might. that would be, after he beat it into shape.
also, the fact that he says "i gave shōto everything". (yeah, you gave the poor kid trauma if that's what you mean by "everything".) that's something some abusers routinely say about their children -- that they gave them everything, that they should be grateful.
at the end of the chapter, we see shōto warmly giving a little girl a small fire to put her hands next to when she was chilly, a smile on his face, and endeavour has a weird look as all might says:
all might: what purpose does our strength serve? endeavour... the answer is a simple one. (ch 165)
this is what sets the tone for endeavour's part of his conversation with shōto in the next chapter.
endeavour: i'm proud of you, son. on that note... i'm hoping to become a hero you can be proud of. as your father and the #1 hero... i want to be deserving of those titles.
shōto: [clearly aggravated and tense] good luck with that... (ch 165)
inasa sees endeavour talking to shōto and notices how his eyes have changed from being cold and not looking at anyone around him to actually focusing on shōto. as such, the readers are basically hinted to see that endeavour has changed, even just a little, already. he's no longer just looking at all might as the summit he needs to climb; he's actually seeing the people around him.
now, this kickstarts endeavour's arc of thoughts that being a better #1 hero would mean that he would be a better father. this we especially see in the endeavour v. nomu arc.
i think the first interesting conversation we have about the endeavour's redemption arc is in chapter 187 with natsuo and fuyumi visiting rei in the hospital. natsuo says,
natsuo: about him... they made him number one yesterday. it's official. the world still doesn't know the truth about you [rei]. about our siblings... about how he's always treated his family. for one, he doesn't do the talk show circuit. i can barely remember most of it, really. thinking back, he was like a perfect stranger. but... what he did to you, to shōto, and to... [tōya/dabi] well, i can't let anyone pretend it all never happened. it's been almost ten years, and he still hasn't come to apologise to you. his past, his family... it's like he wants to leave it all behind.
[...]
rei: apparently he's [endeavour] come many times. though... we haven't met. i'm a bit scared though... and my doctor says it's not a good idea. of course, i can't say what he's thinking. it might be external pressures. but... he's not leaving anything behind. not his past. not his family. i know he's trying to make sense of it all. (ch 187)
he's also apparently been leaving rei flowers, flowers that she told him that were her favourite once when they met for the first time.
i actually think in this aspect, it's good that he hasn't actually seen rei or pushed himself onto seeing her. he's letting her take control of her own recovery (although, i will say it's pretty fucking telling that even after a decade, she's still scared of him). i'd argue that the flowers might be crossing the line, but it seems that rei thinks of them as a nice gesture, so i'm not going to argue about how that could be perceived negatively.
the battle between endeavour and the nomu gets serious, and endeavour nearly dies (which is broadcasted on TV for shōto to see, ofc).
in chapter 189, we see three different characters' thoughts on endeavour never giving up (some of it in particular directed towards his fight towards surpassing all might and being number one via strength alone).
natsuo: he knows better than anyone... that he'll never be the next all might! that's why he gave up so quickly... and basically went insane... abandoning the kids he didn't care for... and driving mom to the breaking point...
[...]
fuyumi: he never gave up. in fact, giving up is what he's worst at.
[...]
hawks: i was watching you this whole time. i get it. there was nobody else out there... really trying to surpass him [all might]. only you! you were the one working to surpass him.
[manga showing endeavour building a small bridge over the chasm that metaphorically separates all might from the rest of the heroes] (ch 189).
i actually agree with fuyumi here more than anyone. endeavour marrying rei and creating his children wasn't because he was giving up (for one, he thinks of his children as extensions of himself...) but part of his way of trying to surpass all might. he also continued to work and get stronger himself, which he wouldn't have been doing if he had just given up.
that being said, i do agree with natsuo's description of their childhood, just not about it being because endeavour gave up.
also, from a narrative perspective, the shift of endeavour's obsession with surpassing all might being thought of as negative (from shōto's statements of it in the sports festival arc) to positive (you're the only one who actually tried!) through hawks point of view is... interesting. horikoshi is re-contextualising endeavour's obsession as a good thing, and that, in point, is done to soften endeavour's actions overall.
after all, if it's a good thing that endeavour was trying to surpass all might, then doesn't his actions against his family make a little bit more sense? doesn't that mean that he had good intentions, even if he did something bad?
(nope. not in my book.)
so, the next part of this arc happens in 192, where endeavour comes home from the hospital and after defeating the nomu with a huge scar on his face (the exact same side as shōto's!), and we get that beautifully passive aggressive "nasty scar you got there" from shōto while he's slurping up soba noodles.
and then natsuo tries to leave and this conversation starts:
endeavour: natsuo... if you got something to say, then say it.
natsuo: say it...? that's rich, coming from a guy who's never even looked me in the eye. listen to this... i didn't know shōto loved soba until today. why? because you never let him play with us failed experiments. i get the feeling that mom and sis here want to forgive you, but all i see is the same maniac who, all of a sudden, is getting rave reviews. you might look like a changed man, but you're not. you abandoned us as failures, left us to hear mom's screams, shōto's cries. and big bro tōya too... you being the top hero and beating some big baddie can't erase any of that. did you decide to have a change of heart?! think we can just hug things out and make up?! it's sickening! don't you freaking get that?!
endeavour: i'm trying to make amends, going forward.
natsuo: is that so?! [leaves] (ch 192)
for one, god fucking bless natsuo. i think he fully encapsulates my issue with this part of the endeavour redemption arc, which is solidified by shōto's own speech:
shōto: as a hero, this endeavour guy... is pretty darn amazing. but it's like natsu said. i'm not ready to forgive you... for abusing mom. so, heroics aside, what sort of dad are you going to be? that's what i want to find out. sure, the perfect turning point can actually change someone. i know it's possible. (ch 192)
endeavour doesn't need to be a perfect hero to earn redemption from his family. hell, even when shōto hated endeavour the most, he could admit that endeavour was a great hero. maybe his reasons for being a hero was off, but he saved people, he stopped the bad guys. i think it's even canon that he's technically saved more people than all might.
the problem was never with "endeavour", it was with "todoroki enji". todoroki enji was a shit father who didn't give a shit about his kids aside from what he could use them for. he was too obsessed with defeating all might that he lost sight of his family -- which endeavour finally seems to realise after this little speech.
endeavour's thoughts: [having a flashback to all might saying "what purpose does our strength serve?"] power... a reason to dominate... when he told me that, it came to me in a flash. an ordinary, simple thought. "i have to safeguard the future for them." that's the job for whoever's on top! and yet... what about the futures i cut short? [image of rei in the midst of a mental breakdown] just demanding forgiveness isn't enough. it's too late for that. at this point, i need to atone... there's no other route.
endeavour out loud: fuyumi, i'm sorry for everything. that was the wrong thing to say to natsuo. (ch 192)
we see actual growth in his character, him actually starting to learn what he should be focusing on rather than what he was focusing on. he still slips up, like with him trying to demand shōto's attention through texting with contact information that he only got because FUYUMI gave to him (ch 203), which i have my own issues with. as in, fuyumi better have asked shōto permission before giving endeavour his contact information because, if not, then holy fucking shit, that's so gross.
in the next part of the endeavour redemption arc, we have shōto in chapter 242 invite izuku and katsuki to join him with training at endeavour's hero agency.
we still see hints of endeavour only really thinking of shōto as an extension of his will and his beliefs when he asks izuku and katsuki in chapter 247 what they're working on and what they want to achieve. he starts to move in without even asking shōto, which shōto objects to in his own way.
endeavour: let's get to it --
shōto: [clears throat] and me?
endeavour: you're here to master flashfire, shōto!
shōto: all the quirk training you beat into me as a kid... i've put it into practise with my right side. thinking back, it's no wonder i couldn't escape my own hatred of you. then i got into u.a. competing alongside these two [izuku and katsuki]... and everyone else... really opened my eyes. endeavour... in the end... i'm going to do exactly what you always wanted. but please understand... the man i admire... is the one mom and i watched on the tv back then. [all might]. as a fledgling hero... in order to become a man worthy of the title... i came here of my own free will! you're a rotten number one*. you were just in the right place at the right time -- that's all. sorry this isn't going the way you want it to, number one. so let's stop that father-son crap in front of my friends.
endeavour's thoughts: since he was willing to come here, i thought the boy's heart was open and ready to accept me... what a fool i was! i had it all wrong!
endeavour out loud: right. i'll be evaluating you three as heroes. (ch 247)
*the translation isn't quite accurate, but i don't have access to the original japanese right now to translate myself. i just remember that this translation isn't the best.
once again, we do see that endeavour is learning. shōto expresses his feelings and endeavour tries to move on from there in the way that shōto wants him to -- and he does ! he stops acting like he's close to shōto as a dad in front of the others and acts only like a hero training an apprentice (without the abuse that happened all throughout shōto's childhood).
i think this and what happens in the next part of this internship arc, is probably the best written bits of the endeavour redemption arc.
by that, in chapter 249, we open with this inner dialogue from endeavour:
endeavour: i'm trying to make amends... going forward. it might be too late... but i fall asleep every night thinking about... what i can do for my family. lately, it's been the same dream. the wife and kids, looking happy... at the dinner table. but i'm... never there with them. (ch 249)
this kickstarts his decision that he gives to natsuo later, but before we get there, we get this awkward todoroki family dinner with izuku and katsuki. izuku finally finds out that katsuki overheard them during the sports festival, and fuyumi and shōto talk when they think they're alone.
fuyumi: it's not like i don't share some of natsu's feelings... but... it feels like we've been given another chance now... how do you feel about dad?
shōto: this burn... i think of it as something our old man gave me. [cue horrific flashback of the aftermath of rei pouring boiling water on shōto's face and immediately apologising] mom endured and endured... until she couldn't anymore. so, i can't just decide to forgive the guy who wore her down... but... mom is trying to get past all that now. honestly... i don't know... how i should feel about him. i still... haven't seen anything.
[...]
izuku: todoroki, i think... you're getting yourself ready to be able to forgive him. just say "i'll never forgive him" if you really hate the guy. because you're so caring yourself... it's like you're waiting... or at least that's how it seems. (ch 249)
i think each of the siblings (including tōya / dabi!) really showcases a lot of the different reactions children can have towards abuse. fuyumi is the type who fully embraces the abuser back because they want to become a family again. shōto is the type who isn't quite sure but doesn't want to just kick the abuser down if he's actually trying to change. natsuo is the type who just does not want to be around the abuser at all and doesn't think the abuser can change. tōya / dabi is the vengeful one who literally wants the abuser dead or feeling how he caused them to feel.
i also have an issue with how izuku words this to shōto -- does that mean that natsuo is not caring? should he not be upset with endeavour for all of the abuse, and, in natsuo's thoughts, for causing tōya to die? he cares too much, and that's really it, and i think endeavour (funnily enough) encapsulates my thoughts on that completely.
for context, natsuo gets kidnapped and held hostage by a villain who wants endeavour to kill him. the villain is threatening to kill natsuo if endeavour doesn't kill him. endeavour chokes on the save aside from catching katsuki and natsuo after the boys implement their plans to rescue natsuo, stop the villain, and save the civilians. then, endeavour has this to say:
endeavour: i'm sorry! in that moment... i couldn't help but think... about how if i saved you... then going forward... you might feel... like you couldn't stand up to me... natsuo, believe it or not... i was never trying... to neglect any of you. but... all i could do was blame others and dodge responsibility. with tōya too... i might as well have killed him myself.
natsuo: didn't neglect us? so what...? tōya has always told me everything. it'll be a cold day in hell... before i forgive you. 'cause i'm not as caring as shōto.
endeavour: even so... even so... you keep showing up for fuyumi, right? and for your mom's sake? your sister loves the idea of being a big happy family... because... that's exactly what i ruined. she wants that back... she's so eager to fix everything. and that's why you're trying. because you care about how she feels, right..? because you are caring. so... you don't have to forgive me. i'm not looking for forgiveness. just atonement.
natsuo: [starts crying] wow. you got a real way with words all of a sudden! i know how happy it makes sis, having us all together! but... when i see your face... those memories come rushing back. why do i gotta be the one to come around? atonement? how're you gonna make that happen?
endeavour: i have an idea, actually. (ch 252).
endeavour saying "i wasn't trying to neglect any of you" is such a fucking backslide, but he somewhat saves it with explaining why. at the same time, the explanation doesn't really matter -- he did neglect natsuo and fuyumi. however, the next bit of it, when he says that natsuo does care, and that it's okay for natsuo to never forgive him -- that was real fucking character growth, and we see it come to a beautiful place at the end of the chapter where endeavour talks with fuyumi and natsuo.
endeavour: fuyumi. i've already talked about this with shōto and natsuo. you've been doing your best to create a safe and sound household for your mother to come home to. i've let you shoulder all of that... and i stood by while you worked hard... but it's all okay now. [thoughts: it's always the same dream. my whole family's there, but not me.] because i'm building a new house for you all. one that makes sense for your commutes. and one where you can give your mother a warm welcome back.
fuyumi: what about you, dad...?
endeavour: [thoughts: if i really care about how they feel...] i'll remain here. (ch 252)
this is where i fucking cheered. this is where i really thought horikoshi was going to save this arc. abusers forcing their presence on the family is absolutely the wrong way to do it. endeavour trying to be the "best hero" is absolutely the wrong way to do it. endeavour stepping back, making sure that they're all comfortable, but (most likely) being there when they want to reach out on their terms in the way that they want to -- that's beautiful. that's actual growth. that's literally the best decision any abuser can make ever; leaving it in the hands of the people he abused.
in this part, in this moment, i could have accepted the endeavour redemption arc. i might not have agreed when shōto decided that he could see endeavour as a father (depending on when it would happen in canon and what would cause it), but in this regard, i could actually see redemption.
and then we get the fucking shitshow that is dabi reveal arc and the dabi backstory arc, and then i just want to throw away the whole fucking redemption arc.
in chapter 290, we get the dabi is todoroki tōya reveal (surprise, surprise /j). tōya, being the dramatic bitch that he is, washes off the probably water-soluble black dye off of his white hair and tells endeavour and shōto that he's tōya and that he's been waiting for years to take endeavour down and that he's sending out a broadcast to every TV station live detailing about endeavour's abuse of his family.
dabi: when, at long last, you could stare your kids in the eye... didja finally start to feel the warm and fuzzy bonds of family?! you must've thought, "as long as i can face the future, i can be better!" i can tell you're at a loss for words, so here's the answer! the past never dies! get it, yet?! you reap what you sow! so let's tango, you and me -- todoroki enji! a dance with your son, here in hell!! (ch 290).
in chapter 291, we continue the dabi reveal (including a 99.9% match between his DNA and endeavour's DNA as proof of their relation! hint: that's not actually fucking possible, but i'm pretty sure that's either a translation error or a wording issue) in the public eye. we get this fun little monologue from endeavour in the beginning of the chapter:
endeavour's thoughts: i thought it could be you [tōya]. you could have been the one... to reach my eternal goal. my frustration... my envy... the ugliness in my heart... you could have been the one... to smash it all to dust.
again, we get that whole "using child as an object/extension of endeavour" thing that has characterised endeavour for a long time. tōya shouldn't have been created to fix his frustration about not becoming number one himself.
regardless, endeavour stays in shock for the rest of the battle, unable to even move despite the fact that shōto managed to pull himself together in order to try to save everyone on the battlefield despite dabi trying to kill him.
we then go to chapter 300, where endeavour wakes up in his hospital room and ruminates on everything that he had done. he cries and expresses guilt, especially on how things played out with tōya when he was a child, and he declares that "i might get to live on... but endeavour died back there. my son's a mass murderer, yet... i can't fight him." (ch 300).
then, shōto, natsuo, and fuyumi enter the room while endeavour continues to cry.
endeavour: sorry... i'm... so sorry. i'm sorry... i didn't realise until now... these regrets... this guilt... it's too late to matter! my heart... it's...
rei: [walking into the room] yes? what about your heart? those regrets and guilt... the rest of us have borne that burden... much more than you have.
endeavour: rei?! why are you here?!
rei: i'm here to talk about our family. and about our son, tōya. (ch 300).
this jumpstarts into a flashback of what caused tōya's "death", and i think in some truly horrific scenes that i think horikoshi writes in a way that we're supposed to feel some level of sympathy for endeavour. reading all of that makes me feel even -infinity sympathy for endeavour.
in chapter 301, we start the flashback into the past, where tōya wants to continue quirk training but endeavour begins to discard him, saying that it was for tōya's own good (because he burns himself when he uses too much fire). unfortunately, tōya doesn't care about his own burns, he just wants his dad's approval and wants to surpass all might himself.
endeavour, meanwhile, is still focused mostly on creating a child that would surpass all might, as we see in this conversation between endeavour and rei:
rei: no... that would be too much! it's too cruel! especially now that tōya knows what you're hoping to achieve through the children!
endeavour: no matter what i say... he comes home with fresh burns every day. he inherited that pigheaded stubbornness from me! that's the only way to make him give up! since he'll never be the one to surpass... [all might] (ch 301)
(sure, that's your motivation. you say that while you literally have the same eyes as when you think about all might being better than you).
endeavour's eyes when thinking about all might being better.
endeavour's eyes when thinking of "stopping tōya" through the birth of more children.
we see that shōto is born, and that tōya doesn't stop training on his own, which causes endeavour to snap at tōya:
endeavour: no! why won't you stop?! you're covered in burns... and you still don't get it?! why?! tōya! you have to... look beyond all this. play with natsuo and fuyumi! make some friends at school! there's a whole other world besides the hero stuff... i know you understand that! take my advice, and this'll all be a distant memory soon.
tōya: the kids at school all say they wanna be heroes. i can't understand that. because i've got you as a father. you lit this fire in me, dad, and it's not going out! i can't just pretend it's not there! [uses his fire] look at me, endeavour! look... at me!! [goes to attack baby!shōto] (ch 301)
all tōya wanted was not to be discarded, and he could see just as well as anyone that endeavour didn't seem to care about the others as much -- that's why tōya went for shōto, not for any of the other siblings.
endeavour had no real idea how to talk to tōya, or even knew how to reach out and get some help, and that was probably (mainly) because what he was doing with rei and creating his children was illegal, as we hear from a doctor earlier.
and before anyone blames tōya, he's young ass kid who knows he's being discarded by his father, and he wants attention. just any sort of attention. yes, he's going to lash out. yes, he's going to keep on doing what originally got him his father's attention (aka training). yes, he's going to try to attack endeavour's "perfect child" for "taking his place". i don't blame tōya for that -- i blame endeavour.
rei: [in the present] you don't get to claim you're hurting more than anyone. and you're not the only one who didn't really see him. (ch 301)
this next chapter, the next part of the flashback, chapter 302, is particularly rough, and it's in part with what's hinted in rei's last part of this comment. (i agree with the first part! endeavour doesn't get to claim that he's hurting more than anyone else. it's the second in context with chapter 302).
we return back to the flashback where endeavour is talking to rei about separating shōto from the rest of his siblings.
endeavour: i'm too busy with work to look after him [shōto] 24-y... which is why i've hired help. but you -- don't you take your eyes off of tōya.
rei: he just wants you to look at him. to notice him. that's all.
endeavour: all i can show anyone... is the world of heroes.
rei: heroes? aren't you just running away? (ch 302)
interestingly enough, endeavour's face in this conversation is covered by shadows. all we really see are the whites of his eyes and the side of his face where sweatdrops of stress are running down. rei's face, too, is practically covered aside from a close-up on her stressed eye. a lot of rei's downward spiral focuses on rei's eyes over anything, so i think this is where we kind of see -- well, not the start of that (we do see that focus in ch 301), but the continuation of her stress that leads eventually to her mental breakdown.
then, we continue on (with an interesting conversation between tōya and rei, but we're focusing on endeavour unfortunately, so alas) with tōya talking to endeavour.
tōya: listen, dad. next time you get a day off... you gotta come up to sekoto peak with me.
endeavour: [grabs tōya's shirt violently and lifts it up. his thoughts: new burns! where he can keep them hidden! he's been training that way on purpose!] damn it! again?!
tōya: no, wait! what i can do now is really cool! you gotta come see! i might be as awesome as shōto sooner or later! maybe i'll be even better than all might someday! then you've gotta give me some respect, dad! you'll be glad you created me! i just know it! (ch 302)
the next scene is a very clear domestic abuse scene (even if it cuts away from the actual hitting).
endeavour: why didn't you stop him?! huh, rei?! damn it, that's all i asked you to do!!
shōto: [crying and stepping in front of rei, trying to defend her] don't bully mommy! stop it! don't be mean to her!
endeavour: get out, shōto! it's none of your business!
natsuo & fuyumi: [cowering, crying, and covering their ears]
rei: i... can't stop him. (ch 302).
skip the next scan if the narrative hint of domestic abuse happening might upset you.
now, i'm putting in the scan to showcase that we essentially get to explicitly see this all go down. endeavour is a shadowy figure in the bedroom, we see nothing of rei's face except for her eye (crying, and again, that same focus where we see her slow descent into her mental break), and we see all of the children cry except for tōya because he's out training on his own again.
the fact that endeavour decides to berate, and most likely hit, rei instead of going after his son -- well, he'd come to regret it later when tōya supposedly dies because "all he [endeavour] taught me... was how to turn up the heat." (ch 302). tōya burns himself to death because endeavour decided that because his quirk wasn't good enough to beat all might that he rather not train him at all anymore. that -- ugh.
and then we get out of the flashback and back into the hospital room in some of the most abhorrent lines of the present moments of this arc.
endeavour: if only i'd given it all up that day... but having killed tōya... i felt there was no turning back, so i poured all my energy into shōto... at the expense of everything else.
rei: once tōya was gone, you grew worse and worse, until i couldn't stand the sight of you. it got so bad, i even started seeing hints of you in the children's faces.
fuyumi: i knew our family was broken, but i was too scared to interfere. all i could do was try to fix things just to keep up appearances.
natsuo: it was you who started all of this. you're the root cause, but... maybe, if i'd just slugged you in the face and made you have a few serious talks with him... "dabi" never would've come about, and i would've been enjoying some good soba with shōto all these years.
rei: you're not the only one who's responsible, and now we all have to take responsibility for what comes next. (ch 302).
ignoring the next part for now, holy fucking shit. horikoshi makes the decision to spread the blame of tōya's death to the rest of the todoroki family, never mind that rei was also abused by endeavour and that fuyumi and natsuo were twelve and eight respectively.
endeavour showed no signs of listening to ANYONE. rei told him flat out that he just needed to give tōya attention, and he didn't listen. the fact that fuyumi felt burdened on trying to keep up appearances and felt like she didn't try to fix things at the age of twelve -- horrific. the fact that natsuo blames himself for not trying to talk some sense into endeavour at the age of eight -- horrific.
this is the moment where i threw the endeavour redemption arc into the garbage -- the rest of the family taking blame onto themselves that they shouldn't blame just so that endeavour can just right back up and be a hero.
endeavour was not going to change, not for anyone. hell, even with tōya's death, and endeavour admits it himself, it made him even more stubborn in his ways because one of his extensions of his will sacrificed himself, so he best make sure that shōto becomes the best extension of his will he can be.
this is genuinely so disgusting that i can't even put into words just how terrible this is. the fact that horikoshi made this decision -- i lost all respect for horikoshi as an author and in the endeavour redemption arc.
this chapter ends with shōto being proclaimed as the family hero and that endeavour needs to come back as a hero and fight dabi and by this point, i already hate everything, so throw the bitch out.
i think if the endeavour redemption arc had stopped in chapter 252, i think it would have been great. i think if they had played off the dabi reveal in any other way, without the family blaming themselves to partially absolve endeavour of his guilt, i think it could have been fine. but the way that this played out, the way that the victims are blaming themselves in part to make the abuser feel better -- no. just, fucking no.
is that a thing that happens in real life? do abuse victims internalise the abuse and then think that the abuser was just trying to do their best? oh yeah. however, with how the rest of the arc seems to be going with endeavour (endeavour showing up in the newest chapter still going around as a hero -- the number one hero, even), horikoshi is condoning that instead of writing it as unhealthy as it should be written.
thus, nope. throw the whole fucking thing away. no thank you.
#⤷ shouto t.【 ❝ heroes also have times when they cry. ❞ 】metas.#this is a 5.9k meta#this is longer than some of my college essays#it's also a lot messier than a lot of my college essays#i don't go that deep deep into analysis and word choice like i normally would#but i think y'all can get my points#tl;dr: fuck horikoshi and fuck endeavour ty very much#mentions of child abuse //#mentions of domestic abuse //#mentions of suicide //#mentions of murder //
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Everything Wrong with ACOFAS: A Rant Part Four
Disclaimer: This is the fourth and final part of this series and will continue from pages 151 to 229. Part one can be found here. Part two can be found here. Part three can be found here. These page numbers come from the UK paperback edition of A Court of Frost and Starlight. This is my own opinion of the book - the writing, the grammar, the characters, etc. I won’t be commenting on anything that may have been plagiarized or that has been ripped off from the history of other cultures as SJM has a tendency to do. However, if there is something you pick up on about these subjects, feel free to comment them and I will add them to the post with credit. If you disagree with my opinions, I’m sorry and hope you see the error in your ways.
Page 152: ‘...felt like a decadence.’ I’m sorry, felt like a decadence? That’s not how you use that word.
Page 153: Feyre is drawing Rhys in the nude and all I can think of is draw me like one of your french girls Jack.
Page 154: Whilst I’m happy that SJM is showing everyone suffering from a hangover because of all the drinking they did in the previous chapter, I want to know why Feyre couldn’t just use her magic to get rid of hers. And everybody else’s. If she’s said that she could use her magic to remove the pain of grief, why can’t she do this?
Page 155: The paragraphing in this book is so messed up. I’m going to type out this little bit exactly as it is printed in the book, look: ‘But two massive figures filled the archway of the dining room, and Rhys paused.
Azriel and Cassian, having crept up on cat-soft feet, were also wearing their Illyrian leathers.
And from their shit-eating grins, I knew this would not end well.’
What is this? It’s such a mess.
Page 155: ‘Tradition indeed.’
Page 156: Everyone keeps going on about how wealthy the Night Court is and I still don’t understand where they’re getting their money from. Do the people of the Night Court have to pay tax? Does Rhys have an amount of money that he puts back into Velaris for the upkeep of it? And why is Feyre saying that ‘paperwork could wait’? Uh, no. No, it can’t. The people of her court can’t spend the Solstice like she is because their homes are wrecked, they’ve lost family members. Feyre abandons her duties as High Lady to fuck around with friends and we’re supposed to believe that she’s a decent ruler? I don’t think so.
Page 164: ‘What is.’
Page 165: So Rhys upset Tamlin when he went to go and yell at the poor sod over in Spring Court a few chapters back and it upset Tamlin so much that it made him throw out all of Lucien’s clothes because he ‘wishes to remain in solitude’? So, basically, this was all Rhys’s fault and he doesn’t face any consequences for it.
Page 167: I’m so happy that Elain is making it very clear that she doesn’t want a mate, but I wish Feyre would stop going on about how good of a male Lucien is to her. And she says to Elain ‘You couldn’t say a single word to him’ as if it’s Elain’s job to make him feel comfortable? Elain wants nothing to do with him! Feyre needs to stop pressuring people.
Page 167: ‘Solstice. It was Solstice.’ WHY
Page 168: Aaaaand they’re drinking again. Feyre abandoned her work for friends and alcohol. I’m not okay with it but I’m even less okay with how common and casual wine is used here.
Page 169: ‘Tell me what.’
Page 171: ‘Illyrian babies indeed.’
Page 172: Do you remember a couple of years ago when high school AUs were all the rage in fanfiction? That is what this book reads like, only high school AUs managed to make me cry on a few occasions.
Page 172: So it’s an ‘Illyrian custom’ for the heated shed, birchin, and a bunch of naked warriors ‘sitting in the steam, sweating’. But... Why? And can somebody please tell me what a birchin is?
Page 178: One of the characters gets red sexy underwear as a present, which is fine. But in a kid’s book? No, no, no, no. No!! A twelve year old could be reading this! What the fuck?
Page 179: ‘Against the onslaught of Nesta.’ Wow, SJM is really trying her hardest here to villainize Nesta.
Page 184: ‘rare, vibrant paint from the continent.’ This line was just thrown in here without any explanation at all! Why is the paint rare? How did Azriel get it from the continent? Why is it only available on the continent?
Page 193: These last couple of pages really did it for me with Cassian’s character. He follows Nesta home after she says she doesn’t want him to? He yells at her and tells her to ‘go somewhere else’ even though he knows she can’t? He reaches for her hand after she’s told him many, many times to leave her alone? This is creepy. This is stalker behavior. And if they get together (which we all know that they will), this is fucking borderline abuse. It’s controlling and toxic and unhealthy, which could be said about all of SJM’s romances but heigh ho.
Page 194: What is ‘faelight’?
Page 201: ‘Would it indeed be a gift for you?’
Page 201: Also, why is the mountains with the stars the Night Court’s symbol? What’s the history behind it?
Page 201: Feyre’s toes have ‘curled’ three times in this book and I’m just thankful that the Fae can’t develop arthritis.
Page 202: I can’t... I can’t read this sex scene. I can’t do it. It’s too much. ‘My breasts turned achingly heavy.’ OH MY GOD. Not only is this a kid’s book but.... It’s also just disgusting.
Page 202: ‘Brazen possessiveness.’ This can’t even be read as sex positivism anymore. It’s violent, possessive smut. Did somebody say BDSM? (Wait, wait. BDSM requires consent and safe words.) Also, if you want to write about sex positively then talk a bit about protection? And consent? And making sure that everyone is comfortable? And for goodness sake, don’t add this to a kid’s book. I made a post that goes into more detail about this here.
Page 204: ‘How you let me do such naughty, terrible things to you.’ FUCKING WHAT?! DO I EVEN NEED TO EXPLAIN HOW BAD THIS IS?!??!
Page 205: ‘Undiluted, utter predator’ You cannot look me in the eye and tell me that this was SJM’s attempts at adding in some sex positivity. To be honest, I’m, starting to think that this whole book was just fan service. SJM knew that her readers wanted the wall scene and here we have a whole book dedicated to the build up of it. NOTHING HAPPENS IN THIS FUCKING BOOK!
Page 206: Rhysand just climaxed at a picture of his child.
Page 209: It’s incredibly sweet that Rhys bought a house for Feyre. Really, no, it is. And the ‘build a nursery, Feyre’ is also sweet. But A) the money side of things needs explaining. B) Why does nobody want to be at the House of Wind and what’s the point of even having it if nobody uses it? C) Rhysand bought Feyre a house when many of his people are currently homeless due to the wars... Right.
Page 211: At this point, Rhysand should just leave Tamlin alone. I don’t care what his intentions were. And seriously, is this the way that High Lords act with each other? There should be guards there, there should be people there to protect their own High Lord. There should be advisors and- What does the Fae government look like? What are the rules? Is there a jail? A judge? The High Lords act like spoiled, rich children.
Page 214: ‘Alive. It was all alive.’
Page 214: Mor has an estate that sits on ‘three hundred pristine acres.’ I want to know the geography of the courts. Yes, I know, we have a map. But that’s all we have. I want to know about borders (and if there are physical borders that need to be guarded to stop people from coming in to separate courts). Is a passport thing or even papers required to travel between courts? Buckingham Palace has 39 acres of land, including what it sits on. Did SJM do any research? There are whole countries smaller than three hundred acres.
Page 215: ‘She didn’t want to take his joy away from him. Anymore than she already did.’ Mor feels guilty about her sexuality because she won’t be with Azriel and, somehow, fans of the book are okay with that.
Page 222: This may just be me being stupid but I’m confused about ‘Illyrian.’ Rhysand said their children would be Illyrians, Feyre calls him an Illyrian baby. They wear Illyrian leathers and follow Illyrian customs but here: ‘Some part of him was Illyrian still. Always would be. Even if he wished to forget it.’ What does this mean? I’m so confused.
Page 222: Do you know what might be a better act of feminism then having girls train to fight? Having the boys of all the camps be allowed to leave. Being allowed to stop fighting and go and have families.
And that’s it from me, folks! I’ve read this book twice now and my opinion hasn’t changed. It’s boring, problematic, addresses things very poorly. It’s too sexual, there’s too much talk about alcohol and sex. And it really did nothing at all.
Thank you for joining me on this little series! It’s definitely been interesting. Again, if there’s anything that I’ve missed then tell me and I shall write it in. I may do this again with more of SJM’s books but it’s surprisingly time consuming.
#anti sjm#anti sarah j maas#anti feysand#anti acofas#anti acomaf#anti acowar#anti acotar#anti roawaelin#anti feyre#anti rhysand#anti cc city#anti crescent cty#anti tog#my post
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Hi!can I request a matchup for iksen? I'm 164 cm a little chubby/ curvy black Pixie short wavy hair and brown eyes. A typical Capricorn which means I'm hardworking, Sarcastic (to a point where I'm plain rude but only with those who piss me off) and straight forward. I like being cheerful and easily excitable around the people I'm comfortable with but around strangers,im shy as hell and usually need a LOT of nudging to express myself or even talk. Part 1
Most of the time i'm pretty chill and laid back but i take no shit and know how to stand up for things i believe in.i have some childish quirks as well &can be really expressive.My feelings show on my face which I don't like bc i'm terrible at lying or acting and get embarrased easily (basically a tsundere)but when we are good friends i can be very patient ,caring and talkative! Part 2 thanks a lot!"
Hi hi, love! ❤Thank you so much for the request! I hope you didn't have to wait too long!😱🙈 Hehe, I hope you enjoy and I hope you have the best day! ❤🔥🌻
I match you with............. Shingen
The first time you meet this hunk of a man, was when Yuki had saved your life. You had jumped away from Yuki when you realized just how close you were to him, only to fall back into the arms of yet another man. He was handsome and as big as a bear. His honeyed brown eyes seemed to stare into the depths of your soul, and his charming smile was enough to make your shy blush spread to the tips of your ears. Thank goodness for Sasuke speaking up, and pulling you aside to tell you just what had happened to you that night. You felt Shingen’s gaze on you as you talked to Sasuke and you couldn’t help but feel super embarrassed. Shingen for one couldn’t look away from you, there was just something about you. He found the clothes you were wearing most unusual, and he felt this overwhelming need to get to know you a bit better. Before he could finish that thought, the sound of hooves came descending upon them, as the One-eyed dragon had come to retrieve the saviour of their lord’s life. He scooped you up without a second thought and plonked you down on his horse. You looked back only to see Sasuke and the rest of his companions gone without a trace.
You now stood before Nobunaga in the audience hall, as he insisted on rewarding you for saving his life. He named you as Oda princess, but you were not satisfied with that. You believed in earning your keep, and if you were to stay in the castle, you were going to at least work for the things you got in life. This belief prompted you to speak up and request a job, Nobunaga simply smirked at you, “Very well then, I shall then name you as, the princess chatelaine.” You gave him a small nod in satisfaction, and so your new life has begun.
You worked incredibly hard, and you did all your tasks diligently, going up and beyond what was assigned to you. You kept mainly to yourself, as you found it most difficult to open up to the people around you because you were so shy. The price for working so hard, unfortunately, was that you started to burn out quickly, something which the mother hen of the castle quickly took notice of. He came to your room that evening and apologized for suspecting you of being a spy. He then handed you a hefty bag of coins and told you that you had the next day off. And that the only task you had to complete was, to go to the markets and not come back until you have treated yourself to something nice, for all your hard work.
You wandered around the markets aimlessly, when your stomach gave off a big growl. You then followed the scent of freshly baked bread to an incredibly packed teahouse. You looked around for an open seat when all of a sudden, a familiar face flagged you down, “The seat beside me is open my angel.” You couldn’t help but blush slightly at that comment, he definitely was a major flirt, that’s for sure. You ordered some tea and sweet buns and sat in silence nibbling on them. The man beside you seemed to have taken a big liking to you, as he was now talking non-stop to you, spewing out the cheesiest of pick up lines. Honestly, you couldn’t help but laugh at a few of them, and wonder if they had actually worked for him in picking up women. You simply responded to him by giving him a few head nods and shy smile, although you smiled more at the fact that in your head you were giving him the most hilariously sarcastic comebacks. But alas you were way too shy to actually say any of them out loud.
As the day progressed, you noticed that the teahouse had started emptying out and soon you and the gorgeous man were the only ones left, at this point you had actually slowly started dropping your guard. You now responded to him with a few words, which brought the most radiant smile to his face. By the end of the day, the two of you parted ways, he walked you back to the main road and bid you farewell with a very flirty kiss on the knuckles. You couldn’t help but think of the mysterious flirt on your walk back home, and if you would ever meet him again.
As if the universe heard your thoughts, the very next day you had run into Shingen, and then the day after that, and then believe it or not every time you stepped your foot into the market place, sure as rain Shingen was there, “I see the universe has answered my prayers and yet again graced me with the blessings of being able to see my goddess.”
From all your run-ins with Shingen you slowly but surely started to open up more and more. He was definitely a stubborn and persistent man, and with enough nudging, he finally got to see your real personality shine through. The two of you had made it somewhat an unspoken tradition that, whenever you would run into each other, you would go to your favourite tea house and share some sweet buns. Through all the time spent together, Shingen couldn’t help but fall in love with you. Underneath that shy exterior, he found an incredibly excitable, cheerful, and talkative angel. He loved how excited you would get over the smallest things, and he lived to see that bright smile grace your lips. He would often opt to surprise you with small gifts just to see that excited glint in your eyes.
What Shingen also really loved about you was that there were just so many layers to your personality. Not only were you super excitable and cheerful, but he loved how laid back you were. So imagine his surprise when he got to see yet another side of you, your sarcastic straight forward side.
The two of you were enjoying a pleasant stroll through the countryside when you heard screaming and shouting. Both of you looked at each other and then slowly made your way towards the commotion. You came across a group of men terrorizing one of Mitsunari’s vassals. You knew this man was slightly more feminine, and like Mitsunari, he was incredibly smart. The men were jealous of the fact that he had raised through the ranks so quickly. You stormed your way up to the group and stood in front of the man protectively. The men had recognized you as the Oda princess and continued to insult the poor man behind you. You were honestly getting super annoyed, so you started spewing out your own sarcastic comments. Shingen had to chuckle, as he loved seeing new sides of his beloved goddess, but the second those men drew their swords intending to cut you and Mitsunari’s vassal down, he knew he had to intervene. By the end of it, you and Shingen had saved the poor vassal and taught the other men a lesson in manners they will never forget.
The two of you were now standing in the middle of the main road, and both of you knew it was time to part. You honestly didn’t want to go back to the castle yet, as you loved spending time with Singen. You weren’t ready to part just yet. One thing you loved about Shingen was his ability to almost read you every thought, probably cause your expressive face just gave it all away. Shingen wordlessly cupped your cheeks and leaned in close to your face, “Run away with me, my love, I need to return home soon, and I can’t stand the thought of being away from my angel.” Shingen knew you were basically a tsundere, so no words were needed to know what you were feeling. He simply smiled back at you and kissed you. That kiss had conveyed so much emotion of untold feelings and love. Shingen then smiled a bright smile at you and booped your nose, “I will see you tomorrow, my sweet goddess.”
You walked back to the castle as red as a beet, but you were on cloud nine. You had long ago fallen for Shingen and to have found out that the feelings were mutual made you so happy. You then started to construct a plan to get your bothers’ permission to allow you to go with Shinegn to Kasugayama.
The two of you were now in Kasugayama Castle, starting your new life together. It took some convincing to get the Oda forces to let you go, but in the end, they all agreed that your happiness was the most important.
Shingen loved and adored you, from your kind caring personality to your bouts of sarcasm and dark jokes. He loved how strong and patient you were, always standing up for your beliefs no matter what. He especially loved your childish quirks and the cute way you would express yourself.
He vowed to spend the rest of his life loving and adoring you. He would shower you in affection and love from the moment you woke up to the moment you went to bed.
Often you could be found trapped in his warm, strong arms, cheerfully talking his ears off. Be warned this sneaky tiger will definitely shower you with kisses every moment he can get. If the two of you aren’t together sipping tea in the garden. You are snuggled up in Shingen’s arms, as the two of you spend the whole day just lazing around the castle enjoying each other presence.
Other potential matches.......... Hideyoshi
I hope you enjoyed this love and I hope you have a good day! ❤❤🔥
#ikesen matchup#match ups#matches#matchups#ikesen shingen#ikemen shingen#shingen takeda#shingen matchup
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The Lies We Tell Ourselves, Chapter 3
Fandom: Zoey’s Extraordinary Playlist
Title: The Lies We Tell Ourselves
Rating: PG (I’m assuming it’ll stay there?)
Pairing: Zoey/Max
Synopsis: Max would do anything for Zoey. Including posing as her fake boyfriend to give her father one last “big moment” to celebrate with her. Nothing could possibly go wrong. After all, it’s only his heart that stands to be broken. Right?
Chapter: 3/?
Author’s Notes: Takes place after Zoey’s Extraordinary Glitch.
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
What would she do without Max? It was a question she’d asked herself several times over the years, but never as often or with as much heartfelt gratitude as over the last few days. He couldn’t heal her father or take away her pain, but he had made her laugh over dinner and offered her silent support and unrelenting strength for the conversation that followed. And when she told him she wanted to spend the weekend alone in her apartment, processing her grief, he didn’t try to convince her to go out and be social. Instead, he spent the weekend sending her ridiculous memes and corny jokes that made her laugh and, for a few minutes at least, took her mind off her sorrow.
She was stepping out of the café, fortifying cup of coffee and lemon poppyseed muffin in hand, when her phone beeped to notify her of an incoming text. Zoey was smiling before she even grabbed her phone, already knowing who it would be. Her smile turned into a snort of laughter when she saw Max pick up their conversation from where they’d left it off the night before.
“I think we really need to get everyone at work in on this because it’s really important to me that you accept that you’re wrong. In fact, you’re so wrong, I’m a little worried about how you could think you were right about this.”
“You’re out of your mind! I’m totally right about this!” she wrote back quickly. “A T-Rex would totally take the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man!”
Three ellipses appeared at the bottom of the screen, followed by Max’s response. “A T-Rex is 20 feet tall. Tops. Mr. Stay Puft was 112.5 feet. There’s no competition! One step and it’s over!”
Zoey had to veer to the edge of the sidewalk to perch on a concrete barrier was she typed out her reply. “Did you honestly just Google that?”
She didn’t have to wait long for his response. “Of course I did! This is serious business!”
“Dork.”
A few ellipses briefly showed up at the bottom of the screen, but when they disappeared, no message followed. She continued, “You’re forgetting that, according to Jurassic Park, the T-Rex is so much faster than the marshmallow man. AND he was a finely honed murderbeast. He gets a few lucky bites in on the legs, and it’s over!”
“T-Rex may be faster, but how wide is Stay Puft’s gait?”
She shook her head, looking around to make sure nobody saw the goofy smile on her face as she teased him over text, “I’m surprised you didn’t Google it.”
His response made her laugh out loud. “I tried, but I couldn’t find anything. The geeks of the Internet have really let me down.”
Zoey shot off one last quick text before picking up her coffee and muffin and resuming her walk to work. She was going to be late if she didn’t hurry. “Is this really what you think about in the morning when you’re getting ready for work? It’s a wonder you aren’t late more often.”
“I multitask.” A few minutes later, her phone chirped again. She paused long enough to throw her empty muffin bag into the trash and then read the message on the screen. “Can we at least agree that Godzilla could take both of them?”
“How tall is Godzilla?” she asked, absolutely certain he’d already looked it up.
“164 feet originally. The new Godzilla is about 984 feet tall. And, let’s face it. That’s ridiculous.” He was such an adorable dork.
“Oh, yeah. Totally. And Godzilla would toast them both.”
“Was that a pun? Did you actually just text me a pun??? If we weren’t already fake-dating, I’d fake-ask you out just for that.”
“I couldn’t help myself!”
Her self-satisfied smile morphed into a soft “aww” when she received his next text, with an attached photo. “Also, I saw puppy yesterday and thought of you. It’s in boots. BOOTS!”
Zoey was so distracted by Max’s texts that she was stepping on the elevator leading up to the SPRQ Point offices before she realized she hadn’t thought about her dad’s condition once that morning. She had absolutely no doubt that had been his purpose all along, but he was once again touched by his quiet thoughtfulness.
She was trying to think of the words to text him to express her gratitude when the elevator doors started to slide closed. At the last second, Simon darted through the opening and joined her on the elevator. “Hey,” he greeted her warmly, meeting her eyes briefly before their gazes darted away. “Listen, I was hoping that the two of us could talk. About what happened in my office the other day.”
She shifted her weight, edging away from him as she looked down at her feet and slipped her phone back into her pocket. “Yeah, I know. Look, I know that I made things complicated when I sang to you. I wish I could explain what happened to me that day, but I can’t.” She’d briefly considered telling him about her powers, but she doubted that would help the situation much. If anything, telling him their friendship started after she heard him singing about his sorrow when he was alone in the office would only complicate things. More than she had already. “I know this is going to be hard to believe, particularly given my behavior the other day. But I’m not trying to get between you and Jessica.”
He nodded slowly. “I know, and I appreciate that. I hope I haven’t given you the wrong impression. Ever since I lost my dad, it’s been nice to have someone to talk to who understands what I’ve been going through. You’re a good friend, Zoey. I don’t want to lose you.”
“You won’t,” she reassured him with a smile. “I will always be your friend, Simon. I think we just need time, you know?” Before he could point out the obvious, she winced and let out an apologetic little laugh, trying to cover her embarrassment with a joke. “Okay, I know I said that before, but this time, lap dances are totally off the table. I promise.”
He grinned over at her. “So that’s not something you do with all your friends? That’s a shame.”
“Not really. I was trying something new. I wouldn’t recommend it.” The elevator doors slid open, and she stepped through, expecting that Simon would turn immediately towards his office. Instead, he followed her.
“Can I ask you a question? You and Max. Are the two of you…?”
She hesitated, looking around to make sure they weren’t being overheard. In all honesty, she wasn’t entirely sure what to say. They’d talked about maintaining the fiction for her family, but they’d failed to address whether their lie would carry over into work. Or maybe they’d deliberately avoided it. Either way, she wasn’t sure what she should tell Simon now. She wasn’t entirely sure what she wanted to tell him. “Me and Max?” She glanced around the office, but it appeared she’d beaten Max to the office.
At a loss, she shook her head. “No, we’re friends. Just friends.” But even though she knew it was the truth, the words tasted like a lie. Or a betrayal. She was Max’s boss, so it was entirely possible that their unusual arrangement could cause problems for them at work. It was possible he would prefer to keep it between them. On the other hand, if he didn’t, it would undoubtedly hurt him to know she was denying it – particularly to Simon. “Well, I mean…I guess we’re kind of dating. Maybe?”
His eyebrows lifted in surprise. “Maybe kind of dating? What does that mean?”
Heaving a heavy sigh, she mumbled, “It means…it’s complicated?” If her life was going to continue being so convoluted, she was going to have to find different ways to describe it or quantify it on a sliding scale of difficulty or something. She should buy a thesaurus, at the very least. “The thing is, we haven’t been dating for very long, I guess? And I’m not even sure if that’s how we would describe it! Or that Max would describe it that way. As dating, I mean.” Did it sound too much like she assumed he wouldn’t want to admit it, like she thought he’d be embarrassed by their relationship? She scrambled to recover. Waving one hand helplessly in the air, she blurted, “Or maybe he would! You should ask him.” Wait. What if Simon asked him before she’d had a chance to warn him, and Max panicked and said the wrong thing? “Later. Or not!” For crying out loud, this was getting ridiculous. She had to stop. She was only making it worse.
Simon didn’t seem put off by her ridiculous rambling. “Well, whatever’s going on with you two, he’s a very lucky guy.”
“Thanks,” she told his retreating back as he headed toward his office. She couldn’t waste time reliving her conversation with Simon, picking apart every sentence to torture herself with thoughts of what she should have done differently. She had to catch Max before anything else happened.
She tried to find reasons to casually lurk near the elevators. She was pretending to examine some chipped paint near the baseboard when she saw him enter. “Max!” she hissed, jumping to her feet.
He let out a small yelp of surprise, spinning around to face her. “Zoey! You almost gave me a heart attack!”
She didn’t wait for him to catch his breath. “I need to talk to you. Meet me in the meditation room in five minutes. Act natural! Oh, and don’t talk to anyone.” Without waiting for him to respond, she walked back to her desk, projecting such a forced air of nonchalance that she felt she might as well hold up a neon sign saying she was up to no good.
Still, when she snuck into the meditation room a few minutes later, she found him already waiting for her there. He rushed up to her, framing her shoulders in his hands. “Zoey, what’s going on? Is everything okay?”
“It’s funny you ask me that, because you’re going to have to tell me. The thing is – and I know I should have talk to you about this first – but we have to pretend to be dating here. At work.”
Whatever he’d expected, she could tell by the expression on his face it hadn’t been that. “Okay. I guess that’s…okay.” She saw a line form between his brows as he tried to process the ramifications of what she was saying. “Why? What happened?”
She crossed her arms over her chest and stepped out of his reach, burning off some nervous energy by pacing back and forth. “I kind of panicked when I was talking to Simon this morning.”
“Simon? You told Simon? Why – how did it come up?”
She didn’t even need to look at him to hear the astonishment in his voice. In fact, not looking at him was easier. “He sort of…asked me if there was something going on between us, and I said we were maybe kind of dating.”
Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Max shake his head, as though trying to clear away some mental cobwebs. “Simon asked you if there was something between us. And you told him – Simon – that we were dating,” he reiterated.
Rolling her eyes, Zoey turned on him. “Are you planning on repeating everything I say? Because we don’t have a lot of time before people realize we’re hiding out in here and get suspicious!”
“I seriously doubt anyone has noticed we’re missing,” he reassured her. “And, no, I won’t repeat everything you say. I’m just…processing. Making sure I’m clear about what happened. You know, to make sure I have our story straight.” But he didn’t look like he was overly concerned with nailing down the details. In fact, he looked overjoyed. If she didn’t know any better, she’d swear he was practically glowing from the grin on his face.
Her eyes narrowing in suspicion, she said, “I hope you’re not getting the wrong idea. This doesn’t really change anything.” She remembered how he’d reacted when she’d unwillingly sung him a love song, and she didn’t want to give him the wrong impression. Again.
“I know,” he agreed, a little too readily.
“And you’re okay with keeping up our act here at work? It might cause some problems with Joan.”
His smile didn’t so much as falter. “I can honestly say, whatever happens with Joan, I’m totally fine with it.”
Zoey stared at Max for a long moment, wondering if she should ask why he wasn’t upset that their personal fiction was going to interfere with their professional lives. He seemed to be in an inordinately good mood, given she’d just lobbed a bomb at him. But maybe it was a better idea to leave well enough alone. From his texts throughout the morning, he’d seemed to be in a good mood. Maybe she was just being paranoid.
While she wrestled with whether or not to press him on the issue, he rubbed his hand together and said, “Anyway, I should probably get back to work before I get in trouble with The Boss for goofing off.”
Somewhat reassured that he’d taken the decision out of her hands, she gestured toward the door. “Oh, yeah. We wouldn’t want that! I hear your boss is a real task master!”
“She can be,” he agreed, and though he’d been the one to suggest he take his leave, he lingered by her side. “But I have a soft spot for her anyway.”
He leaned down, and for a second, she could have sworn he was about to kiss her. Her breath caught in her throat and she froze, staring at him with wide eyes as she waited to see what he would do. After a moment’s hesitation, he turned his head and brushed his lips across her cheek. Bewildered by an unexpected sense of disappointment, Zoey didn’t move and found herself entirely unable to speak as she watched him leave, humming merrily to himself as he walked out the door.
She had told Simon about their fake-relationship. She had told Simon about their fake-relationship! Of all people, she had told Simon about their fake-relationship!
Barely able to believe it, he kept repeating the words to himself, over and over. Of course, he knew it didn’t really matter. It certainly didn’t mean anything. It didn’t mean that she might have decided that she wanted to choose love over attraction, after all. It didn’t mean that she would want to pursue a relationship with him at some point. It didn’t even mean that she’d made a decision about what she really wanted. It didn’t mean anything.
But it felt like it meant something – or like it could mean something, at least. It felt like it could mean a lot.
It didn’t matter what happened with the rest of his day. He doubted his mood would be brought down, even if Joan fired him for his supposed relationship. Simon had asked Zoey what was going on between the two of them – and Max would love to know what had prompted that question – and she could have said anything. She could have denied it. She could have evaded the question. She could have even told him the truth, that it was all pretend. Instead, she’d told him they were dating.
Nope. Nothing could possibly bring down his day. He was in such a good mood, he found himself singing softly as he headed back to his desk. In fact, he was having a hard time resisting the urge to break out into an impromptu dance. “I used to think maybe you loved me, now baby I’m sure. And I just can’t wait ‘til the day when you knock on my door. Now every time I go to the mailbox, gotta hold myself down. Cause I just can’t wait ‘til you write me you’re coming around.
“I’m walking on sunshine, whoa! I’m walking on sunshine, whoa! I’m walking on sunshine, whoa! And don’t it feel good?”
#zoey's extraordinary playlist#zep#zoey clarke#max richman#fanfiction#my fanfiction#max x zoey#zoey x max#clarkeman#zomax#zax#the lies we tell ourselves
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