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yanderemommabean · 2 months

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sloths or koalas?

tsk...Koalas can at least keep up by holding onto you, while a sloth has like...hardly any strength to hold on to branches a lot of the time let alone enough energy to stay awake.

Imma say the chlamydia carrying care bear (Koala) !

-Mommabean

#mommabean #anon confessions are amazing #anon asks #I love both please #dont hate me #I just cant believe sloths are silly little guys #a bit TOO silly #almost criminal

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radiance1 · 2 months

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Danny: Hey, I need you to be my boyfriend for a week.

Jason: What.

Danny: My parents are coming over and I've apparently accidentally talked about a partner more than once and only realized when they said they wanted to meet them.

Jason, currently still solidifying his power as a Crime Lord: Excuse me?

Danny: Let me get this out of the way, I do not consider you at all a person of romantical interest and a friend. But I need you to act as my partner for only a week until my parents go on their merry way over to my sister, okay?

Jason: Is there, quite literally, no one else to ask this?

Danny: You're my only friend who lives in Gotham, plus we share the same apartment.

Jason: That's almost sad.

Danny: You in?

Jason: Sure, why not.

===

Maddie: Danny, honey.

Danny: Yes mom?

Maddie: I don't mean to.... question, who you choose as your parent but. Well, me and your father was just wandering if he was a... [Maddie gestures with her hand] you know, one of those.

Danny, uncomprehendingly staring at his mother's hand: What.

Maddie: Oh dear, how do I bring this up. You know, one of those.

Danny: Mother I need more context.

Jack: If your boyfriend a crime lord!?

Maddie: Jack!

Jack: What? Beating around the bush wasn't helping!

Danny: Say WHAT?

===

Danny: Hey dude, thanks for helping with this even though you didn't need to!

Jason: No problem, I wasn't doing anything too [Crime Lord activities flash through his mind] important.

Danny: Can you believe my parents thought you were a crime lord though? Weird am I right?

Jason:

Danny: Jason. You are scaring me.

Jason: Haha, yea that's weird isn't it?

Danny: Jason.

Jason: Well, I have to leave now to attend to my totally real and totally not crime related job at the ice cream shop.

Danny: [Squints eyes]

Jason: [Internally sweating bullets]

Danny: Suuuuure, bring me back some ice cream though.

Jason: [Thumbs up and leaves]

#dc x dp #dp x dc #dpxdc #dp x dc crossover #dcxdp #dc x dp crossover #Danny isn't romantically interested in Jason in the least #Neither is Jason romantically interested in Danny #But he needed a partner and Jason was the only one available #Jason somehow managed to balance that and being a crime lord #Jack and Maddie instantly had the suspicion of him being Red Hood aka a crime lord aka a criminal aka a danger to their boy #Danny doesn't know at ALL though and so they hang that theory up because if Danny didn't know then he probably wasn't a crime lord #Jason's identity was almost blown because he pretended to be the boyfriend of his friend #Again Danny doesn't know shit about him being Red Hood he just thought dude was dedicated to his job plus its Gotham #Not that weird to come back with scraps and scratches

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bigfatbreak · 6 months

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Does Chloe tone down her direct bullying/harassment of Marinette after that day to just the dead mom jokes out of guilt, or is it more that Marinette now being homeschooled means Chloe just lost access? Also, does Lila try the whole lying/sabotaging thing on Marinette and just fail or does Marinette just not care?

Lila has no reason to sabotage Marinette because Marinette isn't threatening her little empire she wants to build. In fact, she really wants Marinette on her side BECAUSE she's not apart of the school, so she doesn't need to keep up an elaborate web of lies! She can just try to befriend a talented girl who makes AMAZING food and try to get freebies~

meanwhile, with Chloe, things got really complicated after the pool incident...

Tom was not in the mood to put up with this crap.

#replies #my art #dad villain au #DO NOT... come at me about france laws I tried to look up jurisdiction when it came to minors in criminal matters #and everything I found was unhelpful #so for the sake of brevity just know that Chloe almost had a record from this event and the Mayor had to buy Tom out and promise a change #in chloe's behavior #also. I am sorry this italian is off google translate #I havent kept up with my italian duolingo #my friend in italy is going to be so pissed at me RIP my moses ive failed you

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kamwashere · 5 months

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whoever runs the verified batman account in instagram needs their ass ate cause these are hilarious

#10000 CRIMINALS TERRIFIED IS CRAZY #365 days that would have been better with alfred #NOW WHY DID THEY GAG HIM LIKE THAT #you sent the joker once and for all 9 times 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 HELPPP #he’s getting out almost every month #what the fuck are you doing bruce #THE GENRES ARE SOOOO 😭#gcpd scanner 😭😭😭😭#amazing #topnotch #no notes #they go to the good omens school of social media marketing #batman #bruce wayne #the joker #tagging this as batjokes because why not #batjokes #dc #kamwashere

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nelkcats · 9 months

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Therapy needed

Danny needed therapy, that was pretty obvious. After the whole "my future self killed everyone because my family died" thing it became pretty obvious that he needed to acknowledge his traumas and deal with them properly before another Dan happened or his emotions just exploded. The fact that his parents wanted to kill him and no one would acknowledge his death was making things worse.

So he asked his sister for help, but Jazz being annoyingly responsible commented that he couldn't become her patient, something about how personal feelings could cloud her judgment and family can't give each other therapy. Danny thought it was a bit hypocritical considering she used him as a lab rat with her psychology books but decided not to say anything.

The fact that Jazz could not be his therapist made everything 10 times more complicated. First of all because Danny had a trauma with psychologists (and wasn't that ironic? He blamed Spectra for that), and secondly that no one would believe his whole life story or keep it a secret. It was unfortunate that the Yetis were general health doctors and not mental health doctors because that would have solved his problem.

Just as he was about to give up and continue to treat his traumas as a recurring joke, Jazz introduced him to someone. Her name was Harleen Frances Quinzel and she was completely crazy, but according to Jazz she was excellent at her job. Danny had his doubts but in the end he agreed to have an appointment with her.

Strangely, Harley Quinn lived up to his sister's expectations, not being upset when Danny asked to change the decor of the place (Spectra had done a number on his head, common offices became uncomfortable for him), nor when Danny almost froze her by accident. Harley was patient, attentive and considered all his suggestions, accepting or denying as needed. Danny liked it.

The only complaint the halfa had were about the stalkers on the roof who were always watching him on his way to and from Harley's house, it was getting very annoying. One of them panicked when Danny came out crying - couldn't a ghost face his traumas in peace!?

#dpxdc #Harley is good at her job #Danny is happy to be in therapy #mental health is important #You can't tell me that Spectra didn't leave some trauma on Danny after their first meeting #Danny thinks it's ironic to have trauma with therapy #He almost refuses to see anyone but trusts Jazz #Harley tutored Jazz at one point #Jazz trust her #dp x dc #dc x dp #Harley is good but the bats don't fully trust her #Reason why they are watching #Danny is very upset with the stalkers #is he not allowed to cry in peace after a little trauma dumping?#Harley is very good at keeping secrets #The bats thought Danny was some criminal contact of Harley's #Then they saw him crying and they don't know what to think anymore #Danny is going to throw a ball of pure ice at them if they keep bothering him

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saltpepperbeard · 7 months

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Stede's Slutty Stiddy Shirt™ for @gentlebeard

#OFMD #OFMD Season 2 #OFMD S2 Spoilers #Stede Bonnet #ofmd gifs #ofmdedit #ofmdblog #ofmdsource #ofmddaily #Edit #MEASURES??? AGAINST YOU??????#I'MMMMM THE CRIMINAL #I'MMMMM THE MURDERER HSDJKLSDHS #but yeah no i hear my wifey has a bad day and i pull out All Stops okay <3 #also come on this was delightful to gif because god would you look at him #would you LOOK at him #it's almost like he's WANTING to display a chest and neck full of hicke-(GETS SHOT)

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lukreziaaa · 22 days

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“My team? Let me tell you about my team.

Agent Morgan fought to protect his identity, from the very people who could save him. Why? Because trust has to be earned and there are very few people he truly trusts. Reid’s intellect is a shield which protects him from his emotions and at the moment his shield is under repair.

Prentiss overcompensates because she doesn’t yet feel she’s part of the team. She needn’t worry. Every day, agent Jareau fields dozens of requests for our team. And every night she goes home hoping she’s made the right choices.

Garcia fills her office with figurines and color to remind herself to smile as the horror fills her screens. And agent Gideon in many ways is damned by his profound knowledge of others, which is why he shares so little of himself. Yet he pours his heart into every case we handle.

I stand by my actions and I stand by my team.”

#criminal minds #aaron hotchner #spencer reid #derek morgan #penelope garcia #emily prentiss #jennifer jareau #jason gideon #erin strauss #I so don’t like her #[not my gif]#please ignore Rossi in the first gif #all of the gif of the entire team that I found have him so…#I mean he is almost completely out of frame #kind of

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snarkylinda · 1 year

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This is the funniest fucking flex in nerd history.

#´we are not statitics Spencer´ ´Bet!´#criminal minds #spencer reid #btw off topic but I just watched an season 13 episode where he is wearing the exact same fit minus the tie #almost 10 years later #we love a man of habits

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ecocharlier · 8 months

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more doodles 🙇🏻‍♀️✨

#criminal minds #aaron hotchner #spencer reid #elle greenaway #my art #who would've known my comfort show from when i was like 10yo was going to motivate me to draw more after almost 2 years of inactivity 😭

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cmincorrrctquotes · 1 year

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Unsub: I really like this whole ‘good guy, bad guy’ thing you guys have going on.

Prentiss: It’s not an act, it’s just that I’m mean and Spencer isn’t

#incorrect criminal minds #spencer reid #emily prentiss #unsub criminal minds #source: tumblr #no reid can def be a bitch #but hes hot so its ok #plus hes like #almost never in the wrong

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mikakuna · 3 months

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the absolute insanity of dick and jason in their robin eras wearing fucking panties and t-shirts to fight the same murderous criminals/supervillains as bruce, a grown man covered from head to toe in thick plated, impenetrable armor

like here's a grade A villain strapped with ten guns, seven bombs, and fourteen knives. you look to the left and see THE batman, decked out head-to-toe in his heavy armor with numerous weapons, making clanky metal sounds when he moves, a cape for a shield, and not a single patch of skin exposed.

and then you see fucking robin, a 12 year old child, wearing panties, cowboy boots, and a cape that doesn't even reach his toes- skin almost completely exposed

#who let these children fight crime #were all the villains just used to this sight #i know the civilians had a heart attack every time robin came to save them and he was fighting criminals in front of them #they see a criminal shoot and almost die on the spot in fear for this leaping child somehow dodging every bullet #batman #dc #bruce wayne #jason todd #red hood #robin #dick grayson #nightwing #robin jason todd #robin dick grayson

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emilylprentiss · 8 months

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AARON HOTCHNER criminal minds | 6.20

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gilliandersons · 11 months

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#rebecca welton and her tequila shot against the world

#rebecca welton #ted lasso #hannah waddingham #tedlassoedit #edits #*#ngl i made this for me personally #especially the second gif.........#she's so hot it's almost criminal

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multifandotakugirl · 4 months

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oh to be 10 years old, with a gouged out eye, watching as your father turned away from you, and showed you that he would never care about you, considered torturing you, threatened to cut your tongue, and do nothing to your abusers who slashed out your eye after ambushing you in a 4v1, and no one made a move to do anything different instead of one (1) person

your mother.

who is desperate and as alone as you are, because you've both just realized that you've given too many years trying to earn the love of a man who was never even capable of seeing you because of his emotional blindness and stupidity

i too, would grow up to be a momma's boy, if in the worst time of my childhood, only one person was on my side, even if it meant going against the entire world at that point in time.

he fought a 4v1, but his mother chose a 10v1 (more than 10; she was surrounded by team black members and her two green members, excluding the rest of her children who were, well, children, didn't do shit). they were both just as alone, and yet she showed that they would forever have each other's back even if no one else would.

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reveseke · 7 months

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Masc! Reader with a cat who has really violent zoomies at times (to the point of possibly knocking the furniture down or making heavy furniture sway) & a confused, and very much scared of the said cat, character just chilling as the said cat starts and the reader just goes about life like nothing's happening at all. While the character anxiously stays by their sides, investigates or possibly gets surprise attack spooked by the said cat.

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nemurenaivoron · 6 months

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I been playing Sun Haven recently. Romancing local characters goes.. pretty well

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