#dont hate me
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Pipher, M. (1995). Reviving Ophelia: Saving the Selves of Adolescent Girls. Ballantine Books.
Mandy pt. 1
(click here for Debbie pt. 1)
#dont hate me#there WILL be more parts to this#mandy milkovich#my scribblings#shameless#reviving ophelia
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(CW for SA, suicidal ideation) Here we go. My favorite and simultaneously least favorite panel of Vash and Knives.
I've seen a few interpretations of this scene and before we dive into the one that really struck me, let's start with the more... chill one. We're finally introduced to the third gun of Trigun, Vash's angel arm. And the way we're introduced to it involves Knives forcing him to pull the trigger. Of course, since no one knows anything about Knives, the people of Noman's Land blame Vash for Fifth Moon, and Vash likewise blames himself (this is kinda a spoiler but if you've been paying attention, it's just par for the course). However, he's not the one who pulled the trigger, Knives is. It brings up an interesting moral question of blame - do we blame the gun (and Vash, who is being used/objectified as a weapon here), or the person who wanted it to happen? Guns don't kill people, genocidal twins do!
Now for the awful interpretation, the one that makes me cry and wish Vash was real so I could hug him and pay for his therapy. And really highlights how awful Knives is and how far he'd go for his brother in his own, fucked-up way. I touched on this in a previous post about Legato and the Murder Cafe, and the whole time I was thinking about Fifth Moon but didn't want to say anything for the sake of spoilers.
So. Pay attention to the way Vash and Knives are standing. Knives, when he first grabbed Vash's head, was standing in front of him. He moves behind him to better control him and yeah, he's still controlling him via hand on head, and now he's got his other hand gripping Vash's chest, where feathers/wings are manifesting. Knives is assaulting him. If you wanna get crazy with it and say that the angel arm is kinda phallic, you could say... yeah. This is rape. I heard that specific interpretation once and while I accepted it I also don't know if that would be generally accepted or if I'd be called out for it, so I'm trying to tread lightly here.
It also doesn't escape me that of course the angel arm has feminine features like the plants - the plants that, again, humans are exploiting for their ability to create. There's a lot of feminist commentary to be made here but many people have said it better than me. Specifically I'm thinking of this one post I saw about gender fuckery and Tristamp Vash. Anyway.
Also, the atomic bomb/black hole/sun/whatever that is in the middle... It's just so powerful. It's terrifying. The eldritch body horror here is a punch to the gut. What the fuck, Trigun? I thought this was a funky space western!!!
Oh, and here's more commentary on the following few panels:
Vashussy shot, Knives is still right behind him. Yeah, I wasn't kidding about how bad this pose is for them. Knives, you sick fuck.
Vash shoots himself in the leg (a key difference from '98 trigun, lol), because of course he does, but it doesn't free him from the arm.
The arm's getting darker/the light inside is getting lighter! Stampede did an awesome job with their interpretation of the angel arm and I don't think I would have understood it without that. Also, on my first read I didn't notice that Vash is literally levitating, which is cool, but also terrifying because ?? he's not in control of that either??
Finally. A super painful, minimalist, double-page spread. Nightow loves 'em. Vash thinks he's dying (maybe?) and he wishes he had never existed. It's not suicidal ideation per se, but he wishes he didn't exist at all because he's already caused enough suffering. This is a low for him, because he believes so strongly in the concept of the Blank Ticket. (Come on, soupy brain bitch boy, get it together!) He's a monster, it's just how he was born, and he's not in control. Very specifically too, he says "we", and then changes it to "I"... he doesn't blame Knives at all, and that's very him. I want to shake him! Stop playing the martyr, Vash!
#trimax#trigunbookclub#cw assault#cw sa#ive never tagged content warnings before please help if i didnt do it well enough#cw sui ideation#vash the stampede#millions knives#also if you say ONE WORD about plancest i will kill you with my mind because you have sorely misunderstood the point here#posting this makes me so nervous ngl#dont hate me
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Biggest Regret // Mingyu Oneshot
DESCRIPTION: Mingyu had many regrets in life, he had made many mistakes... ruining the best thing to happen to him, since joining Seventeen, was his biggest one.
PARING: Mingyu x Reader
GENRE: Angst
WARNING: Cheating
You knew there was someone else.
You could feel it.
He had pulled away – no longer swooping down to capture your lips in the middle of a sentence, he no longer texted you sweet words through out the day while he was overseas, his free time was no longer spent with you.
You could see it.
You watched as the eyes that once held the stars grow dim; he looked at you as if you were nothing but a stranger. He no longer looked at you with those soft eyes as you pretended to not feel his gaze; hell, he rarely looked over at you.
He was always far too preoccupied with his phone. Preoccupied with her.
You could smell it.
Her lingering scent of sweet vanilla hanging on to his clothes as he strolled into your apartment – it had completely masked your once favorite cologne of his. There hadn't been a day in the past four months that she didn't linger, and he didn't even bother hiding it.
As if you were too stupid to notice.
More importantly, you heard it.
The soft hum of his voice had gone; speaking to you as if you weren't the girl he had promised forever with. He no longer told you he loved you throughout the day unless you were the first one to utter those three words – and even then, he never did say all three of the words.
"You too."
He was stupid to think you didn't know but you were even stupider for sticking around this long.
You thought it was just a minor bump in the road, being blinded by the love you have for him. You chose to turn an eye on the infidelity you had caught on to immediately; wanting to give him the benefit of the doubt.
But as one month turned into four, your lack of reaction had given your boyfriend the confidence to keep the deceitful act going – almost as if he wanted to get caught.
Her presence was once something you only knew through his actions, but she had become quite bold just as him.
It was one of the quite rare occasions where he decided to spend his days off with you, inviting you over to his shared living space for dinner and a movie. You didn't know what it was, maybe it was the universe or your gut feeling, but something told you to go into his room while he was busy in the kitchen – using an excuse of wanting to borrow one of his hoodies.
That feeling was right.
You didn't need to go digging for any clues, it was right there in plain sight.
Sitting atop his desk was a stack of dainty gold bracelets.
You wore silver jewelry and haven't been at his place in nearly a month.
All sorts of scenarios played in your head as to how this had come to be, but one specific one fought its way to the top – the one where it required her to not only shed the jewelry she wore for the day, but her clothes as well.
You felt sick to your stomach at the thought of her taking space on the side of your bed; marking her territory.
You knew he was being unfaithful to you, but seeing the evidence of it was different – bringing a new sense of pain. This one was crippling, feeling your knees wanting to give out from under you as you tried to process the grief that you had been trying your best to push back over the past few months.
You had always told yourself that the second you physically saw evidence of her, you would walk away – the time had finally come. She had set up camp in the heart that you once resided in and by the looks of it, she wasn't planning on leaving.
Taking your bottom lip in-between your teeth to stop it from quivering, you reached for the clasp of the beaded Tiffany bracelet around your wrist – the one he had purchased for you when he had asked you to be officially his.
"The day these beads fall off, is the day I stop loving you." Mingyu laughed softly as he helped you put the silver jewelry on.
Both the beads and double linked chain it had been threaded through were sterling silver, there was no way they were coming off.
There hadn't been a day since receiving it that you did not wear it, and it still stayed intact; a stark contrast to the love he said he would have for you.
You walked over to the desk and placed the item he had used to profess his loyalty to you right next to hers; taking in a deep breathe to regain your composure before walking right back out to finally meet your inevitable fate.
You watched him silently one last time, taking in how beautifully he had grown in the four years you two had been together – right before you pulled the plug he had been too much of a coward to do himself.
"I'm tired." Your cold voice took not only him by surprise, but you as well.
Maybe you were an even better actor than you thought yourself to be.
Looking up from the meal he had just finished plating, Mingyu sent over a pout. "Dinner is ready, though."
You shook your head.
He thought you meant physically.
"No, Mingyu– I'm tired." You repeated. "I– let's end this. I thought I can handle dating you but– I can't take the busy schedule anymore. I need someone who I can see more than once every two weeks."
It was a shitty excuse, you both knew you could handle it perfectly well – you two have been separated for far longer when he would do his overseas tour.
But you couldn't bring yourself to confront him of the sin he had committed; not when you can't even bring yourself to accept it in the first place.
"He- hey." He rushed over to you, brows furrowed in confusion. "What– where is this coming from?"
In his defense, this did seem as if it was being sprung out of nowhere – there had been no signs of your uncertainty.
Not a single one.
Just before you had walked into his room, you two had been discussing the upcoming weekend trip you would be joining with his family. Going as far as discussing the plans you had made with his sister and mother while he and his father were golfing.
"I was going to do it after the trip." Another lie. "But– I can't do that to your family."
"Y/n." He scanned your face, trying to show any hints of a possible prank. "Come on."
But your eyes remained staring off behind him; focusing on the silver knob of the white cabinets. You couldn't look him in the eye as you began to tear down the only world you have known in the past four years.
Not when he should have been the one to end it months ago.
"I loved you." You continued.
"Loved?"
"Thank you for everything, Mingyu– I really did cherish my time with you."
"Baby," He tried to reach for your wrist but something else had caught his eye – or at least, the lack of it. "Where's–"
Bringing your arm back, behind yourself, you took a step back from him. "Don't make this harder than it needs to be."
"How can I when– when I don't even know where this is coming from?" Mingyu exasperated, hesitantly taking a step towards you.
"Goodbye, Mingyu."
"Stop calling me that!" He cried, closing his eyes – as if things would be any better if he did.
Swallowing the pain that had grown to the size of a golfball in your throat, you turned your back from him – heading to the couch where you had placed your purse.
"So that's just it?" He called out as you continued to prepare yourself from walking out of the love you could have sworn that would have lasted forever.
You remained silent until you reached the front door; ignoring his eyes that were practically burning a hole into your skin.
"Don't do this." You could hear the tears in his voice as you twisted the handle.
"I'm sorry." You whispered before quickly exiting the apartment – the tears you had done so well keeping in had now came rushing down.
By the time you had stepped foot in the elevator, your knees had giving out on you – using the railing to stop you from collapsing on to the floor as the sobs echoed throughout the walls of the confined space.
The end had come and it was far more painful than you had thought it would be.
・゜゜・．・゜゜・．・゜゜・．・゜゜・．
When you had walked out on him that spring night a year and a half ago, Mingyu felt nothing but lost – unable to fully comprehend as to why the relationship he had been in for the past four years had suddenly come to an end.
You had not once complained about his schedule since being together, it didn't make sense as to why it had been the reason you had used to walk away from him.
It wasn't until he had walked into his bedroom when it clicked – the silver bracelet he had asked about sitting right next to the the evidence of his crimes.
The crimes he had finally put an end to after being caught by his best friend just days ago – talking, yelling, some senses into him.
But it was far too late, and he knew what he had done was unforgivable; there was no use in running after you. Not when you knew about all that he had done.
He knew there were no words, no actions, no grand gesture he would have done that could win you back. And you deserved to walk away from the pain he had brought you, you deserved better.
You deserved someone who respected you.
There wasn't a single day he didn't beat himself up for what he had done to you, allowing for the constant nightmare to haunt his every actions.
Mingyu didn't care how much he was breaking as each day passed, he knew he deserved it – long as he knew you were okay. You deserved the happiness you were experiencing now; at least, the happiness he had seen through your social media posts.
He didn't dare to move on from you, subjecting himself to the sentencing that could have been avoided if he hadn't given in to his selfish needs. It was all his fault and he had no issues owning up to it; his contributions to all their new songs seemingly relating back to you.
His words that were once empty, relating to not a single pain his friend's experience, now carried the weight of his past. Mingyu didn't try to hide it either, being quite vocal of, his mistakes when asked about their songs – which he seemed to have been credited quite often than before.
Fiddling with the silver beads around his wrist as he focused on the journalist in front of him. Mingyu tried his best to gather the words in his head to answer the question asked.
"What's your biggest regret?"
Unlike other magazine spreads he had been featured in before, this one didn't purely focus on looks or a brand deal – no, this was was feature was in the intention of stripping away mask artists put on. It was the magazine's way of showing the people idolized by the public were human as well.
"We can skip the question." The young man chuckled nervously.
"No- no it's okay." Mingyu shook his head, shaking away the image of you in his head. "I– Hm... I think I've been in the industry long enough to talk about relationships, right? I– I was with this person for some quite some time, and I– I let my weaknesses get to me. I let it ruin the one thing, no– I let it ruin the person that loved me like I was their whole world. I took their trust and their love for me for granted. I think–"
He let out a pitiful laugh as he felt the tears well up – he shouldn't be the one crying. Not when he was the one that put himself in the situation he was in.
"I think," Mingyu's fingers reaching for the jewelry he had not taken off since that night he had discovered it sitting on his wooden desk – a habit he seemed to have developed when he felt that he needed to ground himself back on to earth. "I think I will forever have my regrets about this one mistake."
PERMANENT TAGLIST
@thegirlwhoimagined @forcheol @ohmygodwhyareallusernamestaken @f4iryjjosh @akeminy @yonabutnotyuna @tacosandbitch @aaniag @bettybotterboughtabitofbutter @xbaekcult @alwaysalmostthere @ashkuuuu @morkswatermelonnnn @isabellah29 @lottogyu @bubbly-moon @lllucere @bo-fairykim @pluviophile-xxx @daegutowns @niktwazny303 @fragmentof-indifference @leah-rose03 @haolistic @eclliipsed @joshuahongnumbers @gyuguys @yaaaridk @christinewithluv @yoonzinoooo @livelikejinki @watercolureyes @whoa-jo @primoisellerose @wonwoobestboyy @rakshithanotrao @mingcouper @aksweet7 @nikkell @raginghellfire @kriizztin @doubleshoticedshakenespresso
(for some reason it's not allowing me to tag some who wanted to be added to the perm tag list ... cries... pls check ur settings so i can for future posts)
#......... heyyy..... how yall doing.... haha#dont hate me#tbh this is mid compared to the cheol fic#so YALL BETTER NOT ATTACK ME#anyways#mingyu angst#mingyu x you#mingyu fic#mingyu x reader#mingyu scenarios#seventeen fic#mingyu x oc
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I just want every single person out there who writes fics and headcanons to know, that everytime you include a "newspaper clip" in your writing that I read that shit in the voice of the fish news anchor from SpongeBob.
#batman#bruce wayne#dc robin#jason todd#batfamily#tim drake#dc comcis#dick grayson#red hood#damian wayne#harry potter#draco malfoy#drarry#didnt even realize i did this until like 5 minutes ago#daily planet#prophet#the prophet#the quibbler#i think thats what its called#dont hate me#insuck at remebering fucking newspaper names
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sloths or koalas?
tsk...Koalas can at least keep up by holding onto you, while a sloth has like...hardly any strength to hold on to branches a lot of the time let alone enough energy to stay awake.
Imma say the chlamydia carrying care bear (Koala) !
-Mommabean
#mommabean#anon confessions are amazing#anon asks#I love both please#dont hate me#I just cant believe sloths are silly little guys#a bit TOO silly#almost criminal
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Maybe this is just my hyperfizating heart talking but
Carmilla was totally singing about Zestial as much as she was singing to/about her daughters (Carm looks right at Zest during the line 'I will keep you safe') plus it would fit since Vaggie is singing about her gf Charlie during 'Whatever it Takes'
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THE LAST KINDGOM • S5 E5
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the comments under that one instagram post are really testing me on the first day of my period
it's the homophobes going: but buck was such a ladies' man🤬😡👿 me and my daughter are never watching the show again!!!!!!
And then there are those shippers going: but what about buddie???????? I'm not jumping ship. Buddie endgameeee thoughhhhhh 😭😭😡 TALK ABOUT BUDDIE!!!!
Rethinking joining the fandom. Maybe I'll just lurk bc jesus christ
#dont get me wrong buddie shippers#a lot of you are great#911 abc#but people are testing me#evan buckley#bucktommy#dont hate me
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#idk man#poetry#poem#idk what to tag this as#i hate this#original poem#dont hate me#dark academia#chaotic academia#desi#desiblr#desi tumblr#desi tag
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PJM Rarepairs:: Carly x Rip. (Carrip)
I do NOT have good pictures of them ok
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I'm writing smarty pants bau!reader and I HATE the word necessarily/necessary. WHY IS THERE A FUCKING C?? I also have a vendetta against the letter c in general, BUT IT'S NOT EVEN NEEDED HERE?? Nesessary would make so much more sense, why do we need a FUCKING C? Also the double s doesn't make sense but that's for another time.
#star child speaks#i hate the letter c#its useless#dare i say unnecessary#like jeid#i didnt say that#dont hate me#criminal minds x reader#criminal minds x you#dr spencer reid#spencer reid#spencer reid criminal minds#spencer reid x reader#criminal minds#spencer reid fanfiction
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Gray mann and cheavy….🥺 (you know who this is)
I KNOW EXACTLY WHO YOU ARE. IF I LOSE EVEN 1 FOLLOWER BECAUSE OF THIS IM GOING TO DESTROY YOU.
cw: RARE PAIR SHIP.
I'M GOING TO DIE.... AAAHAHAH i'll put as much tags as i can so i face what i deserve. I SWEAR I DONT SHIP THIS-
#tf2#team fortress 2#team fortress classic#cheavy#grey mann#tfc heavy#tf2 comics#this is a joke#joking#satire#sarcasm#dont hate me#humor#tf2 ships#rare pair#weird ships#asks#ask#send asks#asks open#drawing requests#requests open#requests
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I saw someone question if Zestial was the baby daddy of Carmilla Carmines daughters' and it got me thinking things.
They were just good, old friends, Carmilla was single but wanted a child, badly.
Zestial of course was the only one to notice her becoming more and more depressed over the years, especially when other overlord (the morningstar and von eldritch familys) had children of their own.
Zestial confronted her, so Carmilla ended up telling him.
He offered to 'help'
They agreed not to pursue anything deeper and simply remained good friends, in fact it only made them closer.
Carmilla promised that the girls wouldn't find out at least until they were older.
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Regret filled your heart as he put himself beside you on your bed. You looked at the ceiling, your chest rising up and down fastly, out of breath just as much as he is. He looked at you briefly, one of his hand grabbing your waist to pull you onto him, closing your eyes getting soothed by the sound of his heartbeat. The finger tracing circles on your skin should make you cringe but instead you just feel butterflys. You stay like that for a moment, not really saying anything but enjoying each other's presence and each other's touch. After some time, he let go of you though, getting up and putting his clothes back and telling you the same line he always said after being together "I should go". Your eyes stay on him as he gather all of his things looking around to make sure he doesnt forget something before giving you a kiss on your forehead, stroking your hair and leaving without saying anything else. You knew he felt as bad as you about all of this. But none of you would say it, too excited about the danger of being with each other. You let out a big sigh when you hear the front door click and his car driving away. You stay in your bed, laying naked under the blanket. Regret was all you could think of, you were ashame even knowing that tomorrow you'd have to see Hina and talk to her as if nothing happened, yet it won't stop you from having sex with her fiance again anytime he'd knock on your door.
#had this in my mind 🤷♀️#dont hate me#takemichi x reader#tokyo revengers x reader#tokyo revengers imagine#tokyo revengers headcanon#tokyo revengers angst#tokyo revengers takemichi#tw: cheating#hina tachibana#tokyo revengers#tokyorev x reader#tokyorev imagine#mel 🌻#hanagaki takemichi#tokrev takemichi
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