I Go On Too Many Dates (It's Miserable and Magical)
Of all people Lavender forces Ron to go on a double date with, it has to be his baby sister and her stupid boyfriend?
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It was all Lavender’s fault.
“Sorry, mate,” Ron grumbled to Harry as they were putting away the practice balls after a Saturday afternoon Quidditch practice, “Can’t join you for dinner tonight because Lavender’s making me go on a date.” Harry’s face grimaced in sympathy. “A double date, with Ginny and Dean.” Harry’s eyes widened at this.
“Oh,” coughed Harry, “I’ll find Hermione then. You guys have fun.”
So now instead of eating dinner with his best mate after a successful Quidditch practice and stuff his face with chicken pot pie, he was headed down to the kitchen to fill a picnic basket with cold turkey sandwiches so he, his girlfriend, his little sister, and her stupid boyfriend could all pretend this was better than eating a warm dinner at the Great Hall. Lavender had the rather stupid, but in her mind brilliant idea during a Transfiguration lesson that they should go on a double date with his sister of all people. And his sister’s stupid boyfriend happened to be sitting next to Lavender when she had this idea and enthusiastically agreed.
He watched as Ginny fervently talked with Dean, probably reenacting one of them many goals she scored on him today in practice. Ron wished he could talk to Lavender about Quidditch, but she thinks it's boring to talk about. She was only interested in the personal lives of Quidditch players.
Lavender was going on and on all about the latest scandal that was reported in this morning’s edition of Witch Weekly. Some famous singer was seen leaving the Leaky Cauldron with the guitarist of the Weird Sisters when just last week she was seen at a bar in Holyhead with the seeker of the Harpies.
Ron liked Lavender’s mouth best when it was used for snogging, not gossip.
The two couples made their way to the kitchens, and Ron tried his best to ignore the warm, inviting smell of dinner in the Great Hall as they passed the main entrance, going down the stairs that lead to the Hufflepuff Common Room.
“And how exactly did you know how to sneak into the kitchens?” Dean asked Ginny.
“Ah, a lady never tells her secrets.”
“Was it Fred and George?”
“I believe I just told you that a lady never tells her secrets,” Ginny said as she tickled the pear at the entrance of the kitchens.
If Ron thought the smell of dinner was strong, it was nothing compared to the aroma that was coming from the tiny ovens the house elves were cooking at.
This was an awful date idea.
“Alright!” Lavender said, rallying the group, “Ginny and Dean, can you make some sandwiches for all of us, Won-Won, can you go get a picnic basket, and I will be in charge of dessert!”
A picnic basket. Easy. He could do that. Maybe he could also find a bottle of Winky’s firewhiskey if he was lucky as well.
Ron looked around the kitchen for a sign of any type of basket he could use. He saw a crate that could possibly work in the back by the sinks, but then he recognized Kreacher washing the dishes, so he decided that he could find a different option.
“Harry’s Wheezy!” Ron turned around to see Dobby wearing a sweater that he assumed Hermione must have knitted running up to him. “You look like you need some assistance. How can I help?”
“Do you have a basket by chance?” Ron asked the eager elf.
After obtaining a perfect picnic basket and dropping it off at the table Ginny and Dean were at, Ron slowly sauntered his way back to the free house elf.
“Hey, Dobby”
“Yes, Harry’s Wheezy?”
Ron was proud of himself for resisting the urge to roll his eyes.
“Do you happen to have any more of the chicken pot pie that is served tonight?”
“Yes! Anything for Harry’s Wheezy!”
Dobby led Ron back further into the kitchen where there was just one pot left. With a talent that only a Weasley could have, Ron attempted to scarf down the hot dinner before anyone took notice of his absence.
“Where did you get that?” Ron heard his sister ask from behind him.
“Dohhby” muffled Ron, as his mouth was currently full.
“Do you think there is more? We had a 2 hour Quidditch practice today. A cold turkey sandwich isn’t exactly going to cut it for me.”
“Nope,” Ron swallowed the food in his mouth. “There was only one left. And he said he would only get it for, and I quote, “Harry’s Wheezy”. And since I am Harry’s Wheezy, not you, I get the chicken pot pie.”
Ginny gave Ron a look of confusion, “I don’t think I want to know what that even means.” Ginny turned on her heel and went back to Dean and Lavender who were finishing up packing the homemade sandwiches up at the front of the kitchen.
“You’re just jealous that I am Harry’s Wheezy not you!” Ron shout-whispered after her. Ginny waved her middle finger at him as she walked away.
By the time Ron finished his good dinner for the night, Lavender was just closing up the picnic basket.
“Perfect timing Won-Won! Let’s go find a place to eat!”
The group found an alcove near the Hufflepuff Common Room with a small table to sit at. They ate their dinner (or Ron’s second dinner) of cold turkey and cheese sandwiches and luke-warm pumpkin juice. Ron ignored Ginny’s glare at him when he said he was full after his meal.
“But we are not done yet!” Lavender said, pulling a box from inside the picnic basket. “I got some sugar cookies and frosting! I thought it would be fun for us to decorate cookies!”
Kill me. Ron thought.
“Tadaa!” Ginny said, brandishing her cookie 20 minutes later. Her cookie was decorated with the three Quidditch rings with a snitch floating between them.
“Fantastic artistry, Miss Weasley,” Dean critiqued. “But you do realize you currently play chaser not seeker?”
“Yes, yes. But a quaffle is just a giant brown blob, I wanted something with a little more artistry.”
“You want to see some real artistry?” Dean challenged, pulling out his own cookie. It was a realistic golden Gryffindor Lion on a scarlet background. Ron looked around, swearing they did not even have that color of red frosting with them.
Ron looked down at his own cookie. He had just frosted it bright orange and wrote CHUDLEY CANNONS in big font. Or he attempted to. He misjudged the amount of letters in comparison to the amount of space on the cookie, so the C’s were hilariously large compared to the skinny, curled Y and S he had to make to fit it all on the cookie.
At least Lavender’s cookie was a simple drawing of the night sky.
“It’s a depiction of the night sky from the night I was born. Professor Trewlawney says that it is important to memorize the stars from important dates because they will foresee the future,” Lavender explained. Pausing, she turned to Ron next to her, batting her blue eyes up at him, “Do you know when my birthday is, Won-Won?”
Shit, no.
“Uh -”
“Do you guys want to play a game of Exploding Snap?” Ginny asked. “I am sure that the Hufflepuff’s keep a deck around here somewhere.”
Merlin Bless little sisters. Ron made a mental note to himself to get Ginny a nice present from Honeydukes the next time he makes a trip to Hogsmeade.
“You aren’t going to get too competitive are you, Ginny?” Dean asked. “Last time we played you just got super angry at me for not playing correctly.”
“I got mad at you because we were on a team and you took way too long to place a card down, Dean. We kept losing to Seamus of all people.” Ginny got up from the bench and crossed over to a cabinet in the back nook, pulling drawers open at random and digging through them, searching for a deck of cards.
“Isn’t it Seamus’s thing to have things blow up in his face?” asked Lavender.
“He doesn’t do it on purpose!” Dean defended his best friend.
“I never said he did. But just last week in Charms, we were working on making water go through all of the phases of the water cycle, and he somehow turned snow into fire.”
Lavender and Dean’s bickering was interrupted by a terrified screech that came from Ginny behind them. Ron turned and found a tall, dark haired man standing over Ginny.
“Hello Ginny,” the man said slowly walking his way towards her, “I know you have missed me.”
Ginny stood frozen in her spot, gaping up at the man. Eyes widened in fear. Ron stood up, hand gripping his wand from within his pocket. Looking around, Ron noticed that Ginny’s wand lay across him on the table. She was defenseless against this stranger.
“I know I missed you,” the man continued, reaching a hand forward to brush back a lock of Ginny’s hair. “I wish you still wrote to me. We used to talk everyday. Granted you always said the most stupid of things.”
Oh Shit. This random person was a boggart. This was Tom Riddle.
Ginny slowly backed herself away from Tom, but doing so backed her into a corner. Tom continued to walk towards his sister, mocking her.
“Tom, you’re my only friend. Tom, you are the only one that truly gets me. Tell me, Ginny, are all the friends and boyfriends you have had throughout the years filled the hole in your soul that I left? Or are you still just as alone as you were at the age of 11? Because I am the only one that truly gets you, remember? I know just how unloveable, irritating, and lonely you are,” Tom said, punching each word in emphasis.
Ron sprung up into action. He pulled his wand out from his front pocket of his robes, knocking his cookie on Lavender’s lap in the process. Ignoring his girlfriend’s shriek, Ron shot forward. He wasn’t sure if boggarts could enact the same harm as the real thing, he wasn’t all that focused on Professor Lupin’s lesson, but the first Tom was only a memory shoved inside a diary. If that thing could possess his little sister, who's to say that the boggart couldn’t do the same thing?
“Oi, dick head!” Ron shouted at the boggart. Tom spared a glance back at him before turning back to Ginny.
“Little Ginevra, still so weak she needs someone else to fight her battles for her?” Tom grinned down at her. “Is Harry not here to save the day? The best you can do is one of your many older brothers? Pathetic.”
Ron did not take well to being called pathetic by his sister’s own boggart. He stepped in front of Ginny, blocking her from Tom. Tom’s face gave one final smirk before shifting into something more hairy with beady eyes. An Arogog sized spider replaced the spot where the young Dark Lord used to stand. Ron may have known it was coming, but still facing your greatest fear is still scary.
Taking a deep breath, Ron cast a quick spell.
Riddikulus.
The giant spider’s legs folded into itself, forming a pretzel. Ron didn’t have the energy to laugh at the comical spider in front of him. He just shoved it back into the cupboard that it came from. Some random Hufflepuff can deal with it, any luck and it would be Zacharius Smith’s problem.
Ron turned back to his sister. Ginny just stared at the spot that the giant spider disappeared from, Ron saw a look in Ginny’s eyes that he hadn’t seen since Egypt.
“Are you okay? Do you want me to get someone? Hermione? Luna? Harry?” Ron asked.
Ginny shook her head no. “Can we just go to Madam Pomprey and get some Dreamless Sleep Potion?” Ginny asked in a small voice.
“Of course,” Ron said without hesitating. Ron turned to Lavender and Dean. “Can you guys clean up, I’m going to take Gin to the hospital wing.” And without waiting for a response, Ron wrapped his arms around his baby sister and led her away from the boggart in the cabinet. Dean called after Ginny, but she did not look back, eyes locked on the ground in front of her.
Quietly, the two siblings walked up to the hospital wing. Ron kept wracking his brain for something comforting to say to her, but he knew whatever he said was probably going to be stupid and not helpful. Hermione did tell him he had the emotional range of a teaspoon.
Ginny was the one to break the silence as they rounded the corner to the hospital wing.
“Thanks for getting rid of him,” Ginny mumbled.
“Hey,” Ron responded, “You’ve always called me an overprotective git, it’s finally time I did something to earn that title.” Ginny didn’t laugh like he was expecting her to. Instead she was looking down at the ground, rather fascinated with a speck of dirt on her shoe.
“I just froze.” Ginny eventually said, “I froze and then I just ran away.”
“Ginny, no one expects Lord Voldemort to pop out of the cupboard when they are on a double date. And those that do either belong at Saint Mungos or in Azkaban. And sometimes running is the brave thing.”
“Thanks Ron. I really owe you.”
“Nah, you saved me from Lavender for not knowing her birthday, and I saved you from a boggart of Voldemort, I’d say we are pretty even,” Ron said, bumping into her.
“Prat,” Ginny responded, smiling for the first time since they left the alcove. “Can you just wait here, I will be out in just a moment.”
Ron swayed awkwardly outside the giant oak doors of the Hospital Wing. He hated this part of the hospital because he was never here for a good reason. He had spent many hours pacing this hallway waiting for access to visit Harry after one of his many injuries or in his second year waiting for Madame Pomfrey to finally let him visit a petrified Hermione. He subconsciously rubbed the scars along his arms, remembering last year when he had to spend quite some time in the hospital wing as well. And now he is here because his sister was retraumatized by Lord fucking Voldemort.
Ron’s thoughts were interrupted by Ginny bursting through the doors and storming right past him.
“Wait! Ginny, slow down!” Running to catch up with her. For someone so short she should not be able to walk that fast. “What happened?”
Ginny turned quickly on her heel to face him, fire in her eyes. Ron took a step back in fear that his own snot was about to attack him. “She!” Ginny stabbed a finger in the direction of the Hospital Wing, “Won’t give me any. Because apparently there is a risk for dependence on the damn Dreamless Sleep Draught and I have exceeded my limits. So unless I want to spend the night in the hospital wing, I can’t have any more. I can’t imagine anything more mortifying than having to spend the night in the Hospital Wing because of the possibility of some fucking nightmares.”
Ron had seen Ginny at all stages of her life, watched various temper tantrums, seen her cry tears of joy, sadness, and frustration, but he had never seen her so frustrated and yet so fragile.
“Ginny, how many nightmares have you been having?”
“Ugh,” Ginny groaned, flinging her red hair over her shoulders, “O.W.L.s just have me stressed! So I take it to help me sleep! It’s really no big deal, okay?” Giving Ron a very pointed look that if he followed up with more questions, his boogers were going to attack his face.
Ron took a deep breath, and contemplated his next words. He was always told he never thinks before he talks, but he is trying to work on it. “If,” Ron cleared his throat, “If you do want to ever talk about it, I will be all ears. ‘Kay?” He gave his little sister a look to say please don’t hex me.
Ginny took a big, slightly overdramatic in Ron’s opinion, sigh. “Okay,” Ginny agreed. “Let’s go back to the common room, and um, hopefully avoid Dean. Not exactly looking forward to explaining this one,” Ginny said quietly, fingers running through her hair with frustration. A habit, Ron noted, that both she and Harry shared. Ginny turned to Ron, eyes wide, “Please don’t say anything to him.”
The last thing Ron wanted to do was talk to Dean Thomas about his relationship with his sister, so that was not going to be a problem for him. “Promise.”
The two made the rest of the way back to the common room making jabs at each other’s decorating abilities. Ginny’s spirit improved slightly after Ron’s joke about the balls on Ginny’s cookie she decorated.
“Look who's talking! Your Chudley Cannons cookie was almost as bad as the Chudley Cannons themselves.”
Ginny quickly gave The Fat Lady the password and stumbled into the common room. “There is a step there, Dumbass!” Ron called after her.
Ginny threw up her middle finger back at him, “Night, Asshole!”
Ron waved his sister goodnight, happy she appeared much happier, and started to head up the stairs to his own dormitory. All in all, Tom Riddle may have crashed date night, but it honestly was not the worst date Ron has had with Lavender.
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