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deadrobinthoughts · 4 years

Text

⤙ sober | jason todd

warnings: drunken stupidity, mild sexual content beta’d: nah request: nope! a/n: a re-write because i’m inactive im sorry part 48469 please mind typos

The drunk mind speaks the sober heart.

‘And what the fuck is that supposed to mean?’

‘It means you can’t go one second without flirting with someone!’

The exchange hadn’t begun until you were a couple drinks in and your boyfriend brought up how he didn’t like the way one of your friends spoke to you. It was a conversation that should have been had with ease and thought but turned into something nasty when alcohol was added to the mix. Two different people emerged at night when these things happened, leaving you both a mess and wanting nothing but to leave.

‘Do you just want me to get rid of all my friends then? What about all the people you hang around with? You aren’t innocent in this!’ You hissed, knocking one of the glass bottles off the table to shatter onto the ground and it had happened so many times in the past that neither of you flinched.

‘That’s not- I didn’t- Why are you even being like this?’ He was getting frustrated and it was obvious with how he pushed his hair back and clenched his jaw, ‘I’ve kind of got a real social job, do you expect me never to be around anyone? I have to be! But what the fuck have I ever done?’

He was right. That sober part of your mind told you that and anytime he was with people, he was moderately friendly and work was something you knew he had to do.. You, on the other hand, were scared. Just like him. Scared that one day this would all get old, that one day you’d both walk away and never come back.. scared, even, that the other would disappear off to someone else.

But it didn’t end there, the insecurities grew and came out the more you both drank to numb the previous battle. The night drew to an end as you disappeared to the bedroom and he disappeared to the spare, leaving that empty feeling of sleeping alone to settle within both of you.

When morning arrived and you stepped from the room, you were greeted with a nightmare. Bottles broken on the floor, the couch pushed crooked and even a lamp lay in a heap on the floor from where it had been thrown at the wall. Your head throbbed and you just sank down to the floor to sit, not wanting to risk getting glass in your feet. Everything was loud and annoying to the point your head didn’t even raise when you heard the familiar sounds of shuffling around the apartment.

Soon enough you felt a body next to yours and an arm go around your shoulders as a cold bottle was carefully fitted into your hand. ‘Drink,’ was all the latter said, hand moving to caress the skin beneath his thumb.

It was routine and it was getting tiring. You were both tired of promising the other things would change when you sobered up; promising to start over when you both had clear minds.

‘We can’t keep doing this,’ you mumbled, taking a sip from the bottle with a grimace, already past the point of crying over the situation. It had happened far too many times and you could no longer bring yourself to feel broken or give it the emotional outbreak it sought out.

Jason was quiet for a while, simply tilting his head to press a kiss to your shoulder, taking the time to look and scrape for the words to make things better; another, hopefully not empty, promise. ‘We say that yet it happens again,’ he began, a weak chuckle following, ‘I can’t.. say I love you when I’m sober then throw it all away when I’m not.. what’s the point of all of this..?’

‘Does that mean you don’t fully love me?’ you questioned and you could practically hear him rolling his eyes, ‘We need to.. figure something out. Learn to bring things up, communicate without the need to drink. A..are we so broken that we need alcohol to be honest with each other?’

‘We really suck, huh?’

Lifting your head to look at him, there was a deep frown on your lips and you had to resist the urge to push him off of you at the cheeky little grin you saw. ‘You suck,’ you muttered, leaning to nuzzle his cheek, ‘We need help.’

Knocking your foreheads together, he sighed and pulled you closer. ‘No shit, I thought we were perfectly fine,’ he answered, earning an elbow to the ribs that made him groan, ‘Therapy? Alcohols anonymous? What are we supposed to do? Just.. start over?’

‘Yeah. Let’s.. let’s just start over. No alcohol.. we have to talk.’

‘In our defense, we do talk.’

‘You throwing a lamp at the wall is not talking, mister.’

Silence fell over you both and you were glad neither of you often had company, meaning no one saw this little part of your relationship that stayed behind closed doors. Words didn’t come easily to either of you but emotions did and they came strong, resulting in far too many backfires in attempts to talk. It had crossed your mind to seek the attention of someone else and you knew he was the same as that had been one of your late night discussions, resulting in a lot of crying the morning after. ‘So.. are we going to at least continue the way this normally goes?’

The words were accompanied by a hand sliding around your thigh to dip between them and really, it took everything in you not to let your eyes roll to the back of your head in amusement and some annoyance. ‘Fucking hate you,’ you breathed out but didn’t stop him, just let your head tip back against the wall. Happy with your response and the lack of heat the words held, he was already shifting around to be in front of you, pulling your pajama shorts down with a faint smirk. ‘Just give me a few seconds, I’m sure you’ll be saying something different,’ he cooed softly, pulling you forward by your hips.

‘Just- shut up before I change my mind.. we’re still looking for a therapist later,’ you barely got through the sentence when lips met your inner thigh and your fingers were already sliding through his hair, ‘y-your mouth isn’t magic enough to just rid of us t-this fo– fuck!’ The words were cut and you ended up letting out a sharp whine, practically melting back into the wall. You didn’t get a verbal response from him but you didn’t need one, too long in how he worked you.

You both really hated being drunk but you weren’t complaining about the sober makeup sessions that followed.

#dc #Jason Todd #jason todd x reader #jason todd imagines #jason todd scenarios #red hood #red hood imagines #red hood x reader #batfam #batfam x reader

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sunnybimbo · 4 years

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since i actually like this im gonna slap it on tumblr too! 🤭

available on ao3

----

Katsuki blinks his eyes open, alert all at once.

His room is dark, because it's well past three in the morning, and he doesn't move a muscle as he tries to figure out what woke him up.

There's no noise in his apartment; no hushed shuffling from a break in or the like.

But there's an anxious tingle in his gut that forces him to sit up in bed and stare off into the emptiness, until he makes out the vague shapes of his furniture.

Then, his phone vibrates.

(read more)

"The hell…" Katsuki snatches the device from his nightstand. It was set on do-not-disturb, as it was every night, so something must be happening.

His lips curve downwards at the edges, though, as watches Deku's name flash across the screen.

Katsuki is, admittedly, still groggy. Which may be why he stares at his phone the entire time it buzzes, wracking his brain as to why Deku would be calling him at 3 am— not through the emergency line, but on his personal cell.

Especially when he was in a completely different part of Japan.

He'd been there for six months, interning with a number of heroes in quick succession. It was a new training program Deku had volunteered for, shortly after his debut as a sidekick.

Katsuki had not volunteered for it, because it sounded like bullshit and an excuse to wring new heroes ragged under the pretense of 'experience'.

The phone stops buzzing all at once, Deku's picture fading as it goes black, and Katsuki mutters a soft, "Shit."

But it rings again, not two seconds later.

Katsuki answers on the third buzz.

"It's three in the morning, Deku."

Katsuki rolls back into bed, curling his blanket over his shoulders. His tank top was good at keeping his core warm, but he loved sleeping with an air purifier at night— which left the entire room chilled. It's soft whirring also helped him sleep, covering the barely-there noise of the street some many floors below.

He lets one shiver roll through him before he shakes his head and pulls the phone away from his ear to look at the screen.

Still connected, but Deku hadn't said anything yet. A butt-dial?

"Fuckin' hell," Katsuki sighs, holding the phone back to his ear nonetheless. He can hear the faint background noise of something (people?) shuffling, though it doesn't have the thumping bass of a nightclub or a bar.

It sounds like something is rubbing against the phone, though— like fabric. Probably in his back pocket, or something.

Katsuki's breathing starts to deepen, eyes falling heavy. He mutters nonsense under his breath, a half-baked threat to run up Deku's phone bill while he sleeps, but they blink open again when he hears a soft whimper.

Katsuki sits up, squinting in the dark. The clock still reads 3:42, four minutes past when he answered the phone.

"Hello?"

There's a ragged breath, and then the sound of a clearing throat.

"K-Kacchan…"

Katsuki can't help the way his grip tightens on his phone. Deku's voice is slurred, and every bad thing that Katsuki can think of zooms through his mind as if played on a fast-forwarded movie reel:

Deku, having misdialed perhaps and needing emergency services.

Deku, mugged and bleeding out, unable to each anyone else at this hour but Katsuki (what... a thousand miles away, give or take?).

Deku, kidnapped, forced to call his contacts one by one and say goodbye to each with no hope of escape.

Deku— hurt, injured, scared.

In each scenario, Katsuki would never be able to reach him in time. Fuck.

But Deku hiccups, and then there's the sound of a glass bottle clinking against another.

Oh.

He's drunk.

Katsuki slumps over, fist pressed to his pounding heart.

"Fuck, Deku. Where do you get off calling so late, you ass?"

"Kacchan," Deku says again, breathlessly.

He whimpers a bit, at the end, and the tone of his voice is so familiar but Katsuki can't place it, still stuck between sleep and heart-pounding panic.

"Are… are you sleeping?" Deku has the nerve to ask.

"No shit." Katsuki snorts. "Was, 'til your dumbass called and woke me up."

He sets the phone beside his head, on the pillow, and turns it on speaker. The noises are a bit more tinny like this, but his ear was getting sweaty with it pressed to his face like that.

And it felt weird, hearing Deku's voice murmuring in his ear so late at night after so long.

"I'm sorry."

Deku says nothing more than that, though he clinks his beer(?) bottles together again, and swallows audibly, even through the speaker.

There's that shuffling sound again, and oh—

Deku's wiping tears from his face, sleeve brushing against the mic.

Katsuki's anxiety crescendos. "Deku?"

"I didn't mean to call," Deku continues, continuing to rub at his eyes. "I just… I just needed…"

He trails off.

Katsuki pinches the bridge of his nose.

Then,

"Kacchan…" Izuku whispers, voice still lilted with the heavy edge of alcohol.

"What, Deku?"

"I don't wanna be here anymore," he finally says. Miserably, as if it had been weighing on his heart for centuries. Then, even softer he says: "I miss… you. I miss you so much."

…

It really has been too long. Since they were kids, the longest they'd ever been apart was a summer or winter vacation.

They'd gotten closer over the years. They were friends, of course— more than that. Their lives were inextricably connected, from their social lives to their hero work. They were a pair, on their way to something… more.

Then Izuku had to go— had left.

Katsuki thought about it sometimes on nights like this, when the quiet got to be too much.

The second bedroom, adjacent to his own, is an oppressive presence. Especially when it has been left empty, waiting for someone to come and live in it.

Waiting for Izuku.

Katsuki swallows past the lump in his throat, and disregards the sting of tears at his eyelashes. He sits up in bed, and ignores the clock completely as he searches his drawers for clothes and an overnight bag.

The entire time, Izuku softly sniffles in his ear.

"I didn't mean to call," Izuku repeats after a moment. "I… I'm sorry."

Katsuki tugs a sweatshirt over his head and shoves the phone between his cheek and his shoulder as he stalks through the door, bag packed.

"I'm coming to get you."

"You…?" Izuku shuffles on the other end, and his voice sounds much closer as he incredulously whispers, "You're what?"

Katsuki shoves his wallet in his bag, grabs two water bottles just so he wouldn't have to buy one later.

Then he's out the door, hurriedly locking it behind him.

"I'm coming to get you," he repeats, firmer. "You're still in temporary housing right? Send me your address. Get a bag packed."

"K-Kacchan… I can't leave." Deku coughs, turning away from the phone, and Katsuki frowns hard. Nerd was probably getting sick from overworking.

That only further cements Katsuki's decision to stone.

Katsuki ignores Deku as he shakily goes through the details and exacts as to why he can't leave, though each reason just makes his voice go softer and softer until he's just breathing into the microphone. It's muffled, as if he'd slumped over and was barely hanging on by a thread.

"Deku…" Katsuki inhales slow, eyes shutting.

He can picture the miserable face Izuku must be making, solitarily confined in what was little more than a glorified box, in a city he's never been to. All alone.

And drunk.

"Izuku," Katsuki says, instead. "I'm coming to get you, okay? The details don't matter right now."

"B-but… heroes can't just—"

"Do you want me to come get you?"

There's silence on the other end. Katsuki keeps walking, glaring at anyone who even curiously looks in his direction.

He makes it all the way to the train station before Izuku speaks again.

"Yes."

Then, Izuku is crying again. Louder this time, entire voice shaking with his blubbering sobs.

Katsuki tsks, shoving his earbuds in. Izuku's crying cuts out for just a second as the phone registers the new connection, and then he can hear the whimpering directly in his ear. It doesn't irritate him as much as he would have expected, at almost 4 in the morning.

"Okay," Katsuki says, as Izuku begins to calm. "Pack a bag. You're not going back, so take the necessary shit. Got it?"

Izuku responds with a hesitant hum, but it's affirmative nonetheless.

Katsuki rests his head against the cold metal of the train, listening to it pass over the tracks as he heads to the next city, the one with the closest airport. It'd take three hours to get across the country, to where Izuku is.

The ticket is easy to buy. Katsuki dips into his savings, but he had enough that it didn't matter.

When he gets off at the next station, Izuku is still on the phone with him. He's sobered up around the edges, though every so often he'll cough from his chest and whimper.

"Wait for me. I'm coming to get you, Deku."

Izuku sniffles, but Katsuki can hear the small smile in his voice as he murmurs back a soft, "I'll be waiting, Kacchan."

(And so, Katsuki goes to bring Izuku home.)

#bnha #bakudeku #bkdk #wonder duo #long post #fanfic #jam writes #im more active on twitter if u wanna hmu there buts its Spicy

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parkjess · 4 years

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hi there! can i request for an astro accidental drunk confession to the reader where the reader tried to take care of them because they’re drunk & they thought it was someone else or something like that!! im not sure if i make sense 😭

Thank you for requesting!🥰

Note: Since I can’t really imagine a different reaction for the 6 of them, this one will be in pairs I think would act the same.

Sorry for writing this forever! I had a writing block and needed time to get inspiration.🙏🏻

Myungjun& Moonbin:

He was on his way back home when he texted you he’ll be there in a while, so you made the bed for him, assuming he will be tired after a night out with the boys.

He was staying at your place for the weekend since he had work to do around, and his own place was 2 hours away from here. So you gave him the spare room you had in your apartment you share with your other best friend, his sister.

Waiting for him to open the door, but it was too late now and you didn’t hear anything from him for a while now since he last texted you. Suddenly, a weird noise, such as a ball hitting a wall was heard at the front door.

Worriedly, you jumped off the couch, heading straight to check where the noise came from.

Opening the door, there was your friend, all spread on the floor now, arms seemed to give in.

“Oh my god!” You accidentally shout too loudly, immediately placing a hand on your mouth, calling out to your friend for help. Both of you make an attempt to lift the drunk guy, but eventually drag him on the floor to his temporary bedroom.

“Why did you drink so much, dummy.” You hit his arm playfully while your other hand dips a towel in a water bowl, placing it on his forehead. He didn’t say anything but only opened his eyes a bit, as if he just woke up, feeling dizzy.

You grabbed the water bowl to bring a new one, but as you just lift yourself of his bed you were sitting on until now, he grips you arm and stops you with the small amount of energy he has left. He calls you by his sister’s name, but she left as soon as you started to take care of him.

“Wait, I’ll bring more water.” You didn’t even bother telling him not to move anywhere because you know he’s tired and tipsy. -“I like y/n so much where is she~” he whines as you stay there shocked from what you just heard. What the hell, he thinks I’m his sister!

You decided not to interrupt him and just listen to his words, as you already knew, the truth comes out when he’s drunk. Not bothering to tell him you are not his sister, he won’t even remember this in a few hours.

“Bro...” you call him, feeling uncomfortable by calling your childhood crush like that but it doesn’t even matter now. “I’ll bring you something to eat.” Only looking for an excuse to run away. -“I should tell y/n I love her...” he says in a drunk, low voice, grabbing his phone to call you.

“No, no you should rest now.” You take his phone and throw it somewhere else on the bed, heading to the kitchen.

When you came back you see his face lighten up, he took his phone and texted someone. Suddenly your phone got a notification he noticed, him sending you his confession in many texts was a mess since he could hear every notification you got whenever he sent.

-“OMO! It’s you...” he says surprised, yet his voice still shaking from being drunk and wasted. “I- you need to rest, go to sleep, it’s too late. I’ll be here in the morning.” You say finally and get out of the room, leaving him blushing, not worried enough due to the fact he won’t remember this after tonight.

In the morning he woke up to the sunlight shining bright in his eyes, bothered by it a little. Flexing out his arm to search for his phone on the bed, finding it within seconds and grabbing it with the least of power he has so early in the morning, well, early for a person who got drunk at midnight.

‘Are you awake yet?’ That was a text you sent him few minutes ago, maybe that’s the reason he woke up?

Oh shit, you thought. I shouldn’t have send it, he would read the last texts from last night!

“Hey! Good morning, how do you feel?” You break at once into his room, opening the door widely, making him jump and throw his phone away. -“you scared me! At least knock before you open the door like that!” He shouts, coughing because his morning voice gets cut.

-“I saw the messages.” He says when he gets out of the bed, wearing his shoes and fixing his hair, before you even get the chance to say something. “I hoped you won’t...” you confess. -“Yeah I don’t remember sending them but I only remember getting drunk with the others. So I guess I wasn’t supposed to say that.”

“Is that true?”

-“Yeah you brought me here.”

“Not that you were drunk, idiot. What’s you said there.” You point at the phone that was laying on the carpet, upside down, with your head.

-“They say you never tell lies when you’re tipsy.”

“You could’ve just say it’s true, why all the poetic shit all of the sudden?”

-“Why you’re so mad so early in the morning?” He asks, stepping closer to you, you’re still wearing your pajamas, as well as he wears his last night’s clothes.

“Because, for years I’ve been waiting for you to say you love me, I hoped you will. And this is not how wanted it to be...”

-“Wa-wa-wait... does that mean- oh my- you love me back?”

“Stupid idiot, yeah why did you think I became friends with your sister?”

-“I think... do you wanna go on a date with me, y/n?” He smiles at the end, when your name comes out of his mouth, so softly.

“Promise you won’t get drunk there?”

-“Maybe only for you to take care of me.” He says, leaving a smirk.

Jinwoo & Dongmin:

You were sitting with your group of friends at the restaurant, celebrating whatever kind of a good reason to drink to.

It was the best night ever, full of laughter and pure joy, but something felt too good to be true, and you had a feeling something weird is going to happen.

The older friends started with small shots, then moved to being completely wasted because of the bottles of alcohol they shoved straight to their brain. You and the younger ones didn’t have any idea what’s going on with the other ones, but only looked at what they are doing drunk like they were.

Fortunately, the restaurant wasn’t crowded as usual, and it was quite late for people to come in, even though it’s the middle of Seoul.

At some point, you and your younger friends, who tried to prevent themselves from getting drunk, sat there as if you were watching a show, of the three others arguing loudly, like they usually do while the beer starts to effect.

“Oh my god what are they doing?” You whisper to one of your friends, who was sitting beside you, taking a bite from a pork rib.

-“Don’t ask me, I’m not responsible for that.” He jokingly answers, as one of the actors of the show suddenly stands up, his chair meeting the wall 3 meters behind, making all of you startled.

“Yah!” He shouts, you look at him with eyes open wide as he looks down straight at you, pointing out his finger toward your direction.

“Y/n!” He claims your name loudly, you turned red only from embarrassment while the others look at you with surprise.

-“Please, lets go home.” You say, trying to pull him back down before it gets worse, nodding your head to the owner of the restaurant who apparently got scared they started a fight.

“I love you y/n!” All of the sudden, the sentence you never thought you’ll hear from him, comes out, and you’re not the only one who hears it.

-“Oh my!” You cover your face after hitting your own forehead with your palm, -“I knew something weird is going to happen!” You murmur under your lips.

“Daebak!” Sanha drops his chopsticks on the table, shocked at his friend who just confessed. The other two drunk friends of yours who were loud until now, all became quiet.

“I love y/n with my whole heart.” Oh my, you thought.

-“Lets please end this night and go back to the dorm.” You nearly beg your sober friends, dying for this embarrassing moment will end soon.

When back at the dorms, you went straight to take care of the drunk babies, especially that one who confessed earlier tonight. Even though you nearly fell asleep while standing, you forced yourself to make sure they are going to sleep.

“Hyung, I love y/n so much.” He says softly to you, smiling unconsciously.

-“Shut up, I’m not your hyung.” You whisper to him as you place a towel on his burning forehead, bringing a bucket in case he wants to throw up.

For years you tried to hide and even delete your feelings for him, which didn’t work. And now you feel even more in trouble since he feels the same about you.

You decided to leave him a message for the next day when he wakes up:

‘I wasn’t your hyung, not even for a moment, last night.

I hope you don’t remember but I really wanna think you do.

I love you too. Y/n.”

Minhyuk& Sanha:

You were sitting with your best friend at a family gathering, his family this time after last time he was at your parents’ house.

Without you notice, he started to drink alcohol, shots that his cousins raised to cheers, and you didn’t even touch it though the adults might see this as disrespectful, but both you and your friend decided you’ll be in charge of driving tonight back to the dorms, despite the fact you weren’t the kind of a drinker.

At first he only started to whisper weird things in your ear you barely understood because it was unclear, then, he asked for more shots from his father, and you’re the only one who noticed the weird behavior of him. And maybe his mother too, but you said nothing yet. Until he stood up, starting to yell something, but you were wise and fast enough to put him back down and shush him before he embarrasses himself any more without being aware to it.

“Please control yourself, the night is almost over.” You whisper to him while holding his wrist close to you.

Luckily, his mother was sitting on the other side of yours. “Can I take him to your room? He’s completely wasted.” You ask her politely, she nodded her head with a slight worry spread on her face, like the loving mother she is to her son.

And you did, nodding to the rest of the family while holding the big, drunk baby, so he won’t fall down. “I told you you’ll end up drinking, you never listen to me...” you say to him, even though he can’t really understand who you are right now or what you’re saying, but you did warn him before.

Sighing, pulling over his parent’s bed cover to make it comfortable for him to rest until he hopefully falls asleep. -“Mom...” he whispers loudly when he looks at you with his lids half closed, then grabs your hand. “I-“

-“Tell y/n she should stay here, it’s too late I can’t leave her driving alone at night...” your eyes widened at the sudden worry your friend just claimed about, wondering how much of alcohol he has in his blood right now that he doesn’t even recognize you while looking at you.

“Y/n will be okay, she’s not a baby.” You reply, without bothering to explain anything to him. But he only whines and being stubborn about you going back alone.

-“Aish- no! Mom I want her to be with me, and she is a baby. To me. You know how much I like her...” If you were surprised by his sudden worry a minute ago, now you’re completely shocked by his words.

“What are you talking about? I’m- I mean, y/n is a smart girl, she can...” you don’t know what, but something stopped you from keeping on talking, you just let him be and agree to everything he says. “Okay, son. She will stay here tonight.” You lied, but he won’t remember it anyway in the morning.

You went out of the room with your friend smiling at the thought of you staying there, it was way too weird for you to think he likes you, because you liked him forever now, even though you tried to hide and forget these feelings since you don’t to ruin your long term friendship. You’re like a daughter to his parents, especially his mom, but you couldn’t not tell her what you’re trying to process in your own mind.

“He thinks I’m you, and he really insists I’m gonna stay here tonight, so I agreed because he won’t remember he even asked for it.” There was that motherly look she gave you, patting your shoulder and listening to you. -“Wait, so you leave?” She asks, surprised, you can see how much he looks like her when she does that face.

“Yes of course, but I’ll leave once he’s asleep.” You wanted to check if he’s all good and don’t need any help, ignoring the fact he is in his parents’ place, where he used to live since he was born and until he grew up. Maybe that’s was just the way you were taking care of him as much as you can.

-“Why won’t you stay, y/n?” His mother speaks up when you pour water into a glass to give your friend and check up on him. “I really don’t want to be a burden...” you furrowed your brows, surprised at her offer like you were surprised from her son.

-“You’re not, I ask you to stay.” She says, as if it was a command.

“If it’s that case, I can’t refuse.” You smile at her and she does the same.

On that night, her mother let you both sleep together on her and her husband’s bed, just because she trusted you and her own child.

In the morning, he rised with the sun, stretching his hands, accidentally bumping into your neck, waking you up. -“Oh my god y/n! What are you doing here?”

“Oh! What time is it?” You couldn’t believe you actually fell asleep, it was difficult for you to sleep on others’ beds, and you tried to sleep the whole night, don’t even remember when you drifted to dreamland.

He was smiling a bit, never thought he would wake up next to you, in his parents’ place. “I- You were drunk last night and you asked your mom for me to stay.” You say as you cover your mouth due to the morning breath he didn’t care about.

-“I did? Oh my god...” he almost whispered only to himself, but you were close enough to hear that. Not sure if he already realized he confessed his feelings, but surely worried about it and thinking of how he can you ask you if you already know how he feels without actually asking it.

“You’re sweet.” You say at once while watching him overthinking, staring at the empty ceiling, his eyes are full of little stars, he turns his head when your words snap him out of his thoughts.

-“Hu- What? We’re you talking to me?” His blinking fast as if he didn’t see clearly.

“Can you see anyone else here?”

-“Why would you say that?” He has that slightly cold personality when someone he admires compliments him, and you, oh he admires you a lot.

“Remember how you told me few days ago that every word that comes from a one’s mouth, has a reason and meaning?” You remind him, without both of you to notice, your bodies got close to each other and you face him so closely right now, scanning his beautiful skin.

-“Uhm... well?” He looks like he doesn’t listen, but he looks so beautiful looking straight into your eyes like this. “Then I believe it now.” You say and pick yourself up at once from the bed, wearing the slippers his mother gave you.

-“What has changed?” He asks, lifting himself on his elbow to support his body up on the bed, looking at you while you’re stepping to the door, taking one last look at him with a smile and say, “The fact that you said you love me, without being aware of it yourself.” You finally say, leaving the boy with an answer but completely confused, while heading out of the room.

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ayanna-wild · 5 years

Text

Please Don't Say You Love Me

Word Count: 1617

Pairings: Lucifer Morningstar x Reader

Warnings: angst, fluff, sad fluff

A/N: Request from anonymous

Summary: You always left, always changed the subject or cut him off, just before he could utter those three words. The three, not so little, words that would change everything, the words you feared you might not say back.

............................................................................

People gathered around as you downed another shot. The small crowd that had begun to steadily grow cheered as you slammed the now empty glass down on the bar. You smiled victoriously, turning to your opponent, who had finished his own shot only seconds after you.

"Pay up Morningstar." You grinned.

Lucifer laughed, handing you a wad of cash. The crowd, sensing that the fun was over began to wander away, resuming whatever they had been doing before you challenged the devil himself to a drinking contest.

"Are you absolutely certain you're human darling? That amount would have knocked any normal person on their ass." Lucifer said.

You shrugged, sliding onto the stool beside him.

"You're just upset I beat you." You teased.

Although it was seldom that you got drunk, but when you did, you could drink with the best of them. It's one of the first things that had drawn Lucifer to you. It was one of the rare nights you decided to party and you had drank three grown men under the table. More accurately when they hit the ground you were still going strong.

"Well I'm sorry my dear, not all of us can unhinge our jaws like a snake. Honestly it was a little mortifying to watch you drink those." Lucifer chuckled.

You moved to give him a playful shove but missed and almost tumbled off the stool. Lucifer was quick to catch you, your face red with embarrassment as he helped you to your feet. His chest shook with laughter, which you found contagious in your intoxicated state.

"Perhaps you're a bit more inebriated than I thought, we best get you home." Lucifer said.

Your laughter faded to a lazy smile, and you nodded. You reached for your keys in your pocket, common sense seemed to have abounded you for the time being. Luckily Lucifer was there, and he quickly snatched your keys from your hand.

"Oh no, I can just see the headlines now, Local woman dies in a fiery crash, honestly love did you think I was going to let you drive yourself home." Lucifer scolded.

You shrugged, laughing a little.

"Guess not."

You pinched his cheek, making him swat your hand away as you broke down in more laughter.

"I've got the best boyfriend, but that supernatural metabolism of yours is so unfair!" Your words began to slur as Lucifer helped you walk towards the exit.

He merely chuckled, agreeing with whatever your drunken mind decided to have you blurt out. The car ride was filled with you insisting you were sober enough to get home on your own. Then following it up with an apology for him having to cut his night short. Lucifer finally pulled into your driveway.

"You are beginning to sound like a broken record, honestly darling I don't mind driving you home." Lucifer assured you.

You smiled, a little more sober than you had been earlier. You swayed only slightly as you stepped out of the Corvette.

"Wait, wait, how am I going to get my car?" You mumbled.

"I'd hardly call that rusted deathtrap a car." Lucifer muttered.

"Hey I've got a lot of memories in Bertha. Besides, I didn't hear you complaining a few days ago, when we were fogging up the windows in the back." You winked.

Lucifer raised an eyebrow, shaking his head a little.

"Please don't ruin that memory for me by referring that mutation as Bertha." Lucifer sighed.

"Oh you love those that car."

"The car no, you on the other hand yes, I lo-"

Lucifer let out a surprised noise when you suddenly leaned over the side of the car and pressed your lips against his. You pulled away just before he could start kissing back.

"Goodnight!"

By the time he came back to his senses, you were already inside your house. He sat there for a moment confused before pulling out of your driveway.

You watched the black as night car fade from your sight and you sighed. The sound of your jacket hitting the floor could be heard in the quiet house. You stumbled your way to your bedroom, falling forward onto your bed. You turned your head to the side so, you weren't smothering yourself with your pillow.

"That was almost bad."

The thing was you knew exactly what he was about to say. Knew exactly how that sentence would end, and you didn't want to hear it. You just couldn't let him say it. An almost inaudible sigh left your lips and you curled up into a ball, letting yourself drift off to sleep.

Lucifer had gotten back to Lux not to long after he left your house, however his desire to party had vanished. Instead, he went up to his penthouse, and settled into one of the tan chairs across from the couch. He placed a hand under his chin, thoughts swimming through his mind.

You had kissed him to keep him from finishing his sentence, to keep him from saying those last three words. The question on his mind though was why.

Why would you stop him?

Why was he just now noticing it wasn't the first time you had stopped those words from rolling off his tongue?

To say your head hurt when you woke the next morning would have been an understatement. It felt like there was a marching band playing in your skull, and you groaned pitifully. You almost considered just going back to sleep but immediately pushed that thought aside when you heard someone rummaging through your kitchen.

"Lucifer?" You yelled, almost instantly regretting it when your headache got worse.

"Just making you some lunch!" He called back.

Luckily his voice was muffled from being in a different room. You rolled onto your back staring at the ceiling a moment before swing your legs over the side of your bed. You almost cursed when you opened your bedroom door to be hit with a bright beam of sunlight pouring through the window in your hallway.

"Good afternoon, it's about time you got up." Lucifer smiled.

You weren't feeling particularly peppy at the moment so, you gave him a small smile that more resembled a grimace than anything. Lucifer resisted the urge to laugh at your miserable albeit funny state. He placed a bottle of water in front of you when you sat at the table, followed by a few pills. You smiled gratefully at him, taking it quickly.

"Oh I nearly forgot I made you lunch!" He announced a little too loudly.

You flinched at little, and he apologized as he stood to get you a plate. He sat it down in front of you, before retaking his seat beside you. The entire time you ate, Lucifer was silent and patient which immediately made you suspicious. Because Lucifer wasn't a silent nor patient person.

"Ok, what did you do?" You asked swallowing the food in your mouth.

He looked at you confused.

"Nothing."

You narrowed your eyes a little.

"What do you want."

"Nothing."

You set your fork down, sitting back a little, just staring at him. He was silent for a moment before finally caving in.

"Last night, why didn't you let me finish what I was saying?" He asked.

It was your turn to look confused.

"What do you mean?"

"Well cut me off, just before I tell you that I-"

"Oh right that."

Lucifer frowned at you.

"You did it again."

You forced a laugh, trying to play it off as if nothing was wrong.

"You're overthinking it Luc."

He didn't look like he believed your phony laugh nor your poor excuse.

"No, I over thought it last night, and you know what I realized my dear? You've never let me say it, you've cut me off or just changed the subject before I could ever even finish saying love. Why is that?"

Your body tensed and your eyes looked everywhere but at him.

"I... is it really that important?" You muttered.

Lucifer's frown deepened, and he began to get a little angry.

"Yes, we've been dating nearly two years, yet, you've never let me tell you that-"

You sat up, grabbing his hands to silence him. Lucifer peered into your eyes, you looked so vulnerable and so scared.

"Please don't say you love me. Please, because I might not say it back." You begged.

"Why, do you not love me?" He sounded hurt and you quickly shook your head.

"No, that not it! I do Lucifer, so very, very much, but if you say that, if you tell me that and I say it back, then this becomes something even more important to me than it is now. If it does then if I lose you, or something happens, it'll hurt so much more. And I just can't handle anymore heartache right now. I will say it to you one day because you mean the world to mean Lucifer. But for now please don't say you love me, because I can't say it back yet."

You weren't sure what response you were expecting from him. Maybe anger, or annoyance, maybe assurance. Lucifer however, simply smiled at you, and raised a hand to your face to lightly caress your cheek. He kissed your forehead.

"I understand Y/N, it's ok, I don't mind waiting to say it."

You pulled back to meet his eye, grateful tears blurred your vision and you laughed a little when he wiped your tears away. He pressed another kiss to your forehead, whispering just loud enough for you to hear.

"But although I can't say it, I want you to know that I do, very much."

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#luciferonnetflix #lucifer x reader #luciferonfox #lucifer morningstar #lucifer morningstar one shot #lucifer morningstar x reader #lucifer morningstar imagines #lucifer morningstar x you #lucifer morningstar imagine #lucifernetflix

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justloosecannons · 3 years

Text

Pancakes/ Jake ft. Eden

when: at some point in the most recent past im late uploading this my beeee Early March where: cherry bomb diner mentions: n/a description: a meetup between the two over breakfast trigger warnings: general food related triggers, mentions of nsfw related activities @partialhearts

Jake:

he had tugged on a shirt purchased by her hands - wanting her to feel something for him - anything. flowers that were hand picked the day before, had begun to brown, but, he brought them all the same. sliding into the booth, he laid the flowers next to him - out of view as he waited. subconsciously, his finger picked and scratched at the top of his hand as nervous chaotically thundered through his frame.

Eden:

she was tired, but she was hoping a few cups of coffee would do her some good. she smiles when she sees jake, and he looks just as handsome as ever -- well rested. she wonders where he's been lately, what he's been doing and who he's been doing it with. he doesn't come out anymore. "hey you -" she smiles, slipping into the seat opposite him.

Jake:

his smile only widened the second her heard her voice, heart thumping chaotically beneath his bones - the way that it always seemed to whenever eden was this close. “hey!” his voice cracked, quickly clearing it in an effort to mask it. “i already ordered you usual. hope that’s okay.”

Eden:

she drums her fingers against the table and nods, trying to stay casual around jake. it was hard to be normal around him most of the time. when they were at parties it was fine, because they could blame it on the alcohol, but now? she had to do this completely sober. "oh no, that's perfect. thanks jake."

Jake:

“they should be bringing a bowl of fruit soon too..... extra strawberries.” his lips curved up at the edges as almost on time, the bowl was slid between them. without hesitation, he popped a grape between his lips. “how’s your day?”

Eden:

"i mean it's 10 so it's barely started yet." she says with a smirk, popping a piece of fruit between her lips. "you look good, are you doing something new with your hair? i never see you out anymore."

Jake:

“uh - well, i cut it a little. nothing like when i was 17 and went for the buzz - but, just because i know i’ll be surfing a lot with the weather, didn’t want hair in my face.” he shook his head to show off the way his curls bounced, a smile tugged at his lips. “i got you something.”

Eden:

she ignores the way her stomach feels when she watches his hair bounce, knowing that would just lead her down a dangerous path. "you did? what you get me?" she beams, surprised he's even making that kind of effort

Jake:

“well, it’s two parts. one now, one when you leave.” he hummed, reaching over to scoop up the flowers he had hand picked the day before. “they’re a little dead, i.... saw them yesterday, wanted you to have them.” he reached out to set them before her. “probably just need water.”

Eden:

a guilt washes over her, he was buying her flowers while she was doing god knows what with someone else. she looks stunned as she takes them, forcing a nervous smile onto her face. "oh -- they're beautiful. i don't -- what did i do to deserve these?"

Jake:

he simply shakes his head, lips cocked into the smallest grin over her reaction. “i just saw them... i don’t know what kind they are... you were always better at that than me, but they looked like eden flowers. like they belonged to you without even knowing you.”

Eden:

she feels it coming, the tears forming in her eyes, but she doesn't let them fall, they just sit in her ducts like big, threatening blobs of sadness. she misses him, she loves him, but she cannot have him -- she cannot have this. he hurts her, but like a moth to a flame, she is constantly drawn to his fire. "i love them, thank you." she says, turning to smile at him before taking a sip of her coffee.

Jake:

“i hope you can kind of nurse them back to health - i didnt really know what to do with them last night.” he chuckles softly, his hand rubbing nervously at the back of his neck. really, that’s what eden did - she took in broken things, and somehow - made them into something better. she had done it with him, he had just seemingly fallen apart with the fear of what that meant. “i read about this big volunteer thing at the great barrier reef they’re trying to set up next year. you think you’ll get to do that?”

Eden:

she examines the flowers, "i have some feed at home, i think if i trim the ends i should be able to nurse them back to health." she smiles, feeling incredibly guilty that she had not been able to take them yesterday. "i might do, i think it would be nice to sign up."

Jake:

truth be told, jake had always kept an eye on things that seemed like they would be up her alley. when they were dating, he had often volunteered to do a lot of it with her. “just sounded like it had eden james written all over it.” his smile raising at the edges as his eyes took in each of her features, completely in love. “i could help you fundraise. if you needed to..”

Eden:

"yeah...." she feels distant, holding jake back in order to protect herself. she should, shouldn't she? he's done nothing but hurt her. "as friends." eden adds, feeling her throat tighten.

Jake:

the words carry an unforeseen weight, slamming right into his chest in an effort to crack every inch of his heart he had left. instead of answering, he only nods - fearing the stinging he feels as his throat tightens up. luckily, pancakes are slid in front of him, and he doesn’t push his luck by saying anything further, instead cutting into them, averting his eyes.

Eden:

she doesn't want this distance between her and jake, it's not what she wants, not really. eden wants to be close to him, to be loved by him, to walk hand and hand with him on the beach, but she knows, she knows that jake hurts her, and she's been hurt too many times now. "how are your pancakes?" she smiles, hoping to shift the conversation.

Jake:

to say that it had been easy to cope and handle life without eden in the way he had her before - would’ve been a lot. he was self destructive, combative, and broken hearted. there was a hole in his chest and he had simply given up on trying to fill it - it was edens spot. no one else would fit. “the best. always reminds me why we come here.”

Eden:

she smiles when the tension is alleviated, thankful that her and jake can talk without making the situation weird. she doesn't want to know about what girls he's fucking right now, there's always someone, and it always hurts to see. eden loves him more than she could ever love anyone, and that was that. "i haven't been here in a while, if i'm honest."

Jake:

he could feel the confines of his chest start to spiral and the small marks in his skin, covered by jeans, but tender all the same. there was a panic. one he couldn’t tell eden about? because it was far too much, and she looked so good. he had been told she was happy, and he had really never ranted anything more. “oh yeah? i come here every sunday.” he shrugs, knowing it was one of the only pieces of her he had left.

Eden:

"i guess i just haven't had much time." she whispers, sensing the change in shift when jake's mood changes. "i've been wrapped up in work, i'm trying to focus on that lately."

Jake:

his heart rate seemed to pick up speed at the mention of not having enough time, his mind immediately wandering off - only tethered when she mentions work. “yeah? been busy with it?” he tips his head to the side, desperately trying to be the best version of himself.

Eden:

she's not cruel enough to divulge into what she's been doing, she's careful, unlike jake was. she doesn't want him to hurt the way she did when she had to watch him with other girls, making out with them in front of her. "pretty much. i think i wanna get out of the aquarium."

Jake:

nights were long, filled with replaying every mistake he made with her on a big screen in his mind - leaving himself empty and guilty. never able to sleep without the lone stuffed animal she had forgotten, even when he was with people - it was a temporary fix to a long term problem that he couldn’t fix. “why’s that?” he rasped, tipping his head to the side.

Eden:

“i just think i might do better out there, you know? doing some actual rescuing. i love teaching kids about the coral reef, i do - and all that. and i love taking care of the animals we have. i just think, i’d feel more purpose if i was out there doing something.” she shrugs, pushing her plate aside.

Jake:

he nods, well aware that eden was destined to change the world, and he found himself more and more proud of her daily. “well, whatever you do - it’ll be amazing.” he promises, pulling his wallet from his pocket. when he opens it and a polaroid of her falls out, he’s quick to scoop it up and slide it back in its place.

Eden:

she spots the picture falling from his wallet, and it's only on the floor for a moment, so she can't quite make out who it is, or what it is. if she asks, it might make things awkward, it could be her -- but if it isn't? she gives jake a bright smile and bottles down her feelings once more. "i think it'd be good if i did go, some time away."

Jake:

the idea of not seeing eden again for an undetermined amount of time, makes everything in his body hurt in a way that he wasn’t really expecting. clenching his jaw, he nodded, finally forcing his eyes up in her direction. “i... have one more more thing for you i just... would it be alright if you didn’t... look at it until i was out of view?”

Eden:

it's hard for her to accept gifts from jake, she doesn't know what this means, or what taking things from him might mean to him. she's scared, scared because being close to jake left her vulnerable, and she's been vulnerable to jake since she was 18. when she was away at college, it was easier to not think of these things, but here he was. "i can....sure." she smiles weakly, tucking her hair behind her ear.

Jake:

it’s not something he’s spent money on, but rather something he’s grown accustomed to do. at any point if he sees anything that reminds him of her, he scribbles exactly what he’s thinking. nodding slowly, he takes a moment of silence to let his eyes flicker over her features. loving eden was everything. and regret would always weigh in his chest like an anvil. “here every sunday. just in case.” and with that, he slid the paint sample face down and slid it over to her.

Eden:

why does he do this to her? she wonders to herself with a heavy heart that somehow she may never be free of what this is she has with jake. does he love her just because of how easy it is for her to give in to him? because she's always there? what would happen if she just stopped, what if she stopped answering? would he still love her then? is this even love? or is it just comfort? she holds her hand over the note and smiles sadly at him, "every sunday."

Jake:

its all he needs to hear - that hes hear, and that he will keep coming here. its the only pillar of consistency that he has. mistakes dont even cover what he regrets - losing eden had been a wake up call. she had been nothing but good to him, and he had messed it up based off previous peoples actions, pissing away the only form of happiness he had ever know. nodding slowly, he offered her the smallest smile before dropping cash onto the table for the waitress, and just like that - he was gone.

Eden:

she watches him leave and he takes a vital piece of her with him. when he's gone, she finally looks at the gift he has left her and she feels empty -- this is how jake makes her feel. he gives, and he makes promises, he gives her pieces of hope and then he tears them away. he doesn't realise he's being cruel, she doesn't want crumbs, she wants him to be a man.

#jake ft. eden #jp.

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beerecordings · 4 years

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I was thinking about that Therapy AU (ish. thing. question mark?) that you brainstormed a few months back, and I find myself wondering—which of the boys realized “oh hey, I should probably see a therapist” first? And what was the impetus? (Jackie. I’m asking about Jackie. I want to know the story behind how Jackie found his Alderian/Adlerian duder and why he sprung for it. Also the thing about who came first, but Jackie. My boy. Im lov him)

lol yeah you’re right it’s not so much an au as something that i’d like to be canon in just about every universe i come up with lollll. but yeah hm…

I think Henrik goes to see a therapist first because he’s been through literal hell and there’s no way he can handle any of this without professional help. and everybody knows that, you know, like… it’s easier to justify some reasons to go than others. so even though everybody probably needs it they’re all here like “oh GEEZ someone else has had it SO MUCH WORSE than me so HE’S going to therapy” and they all end up ganging up on Henrik with their love and support like “yeah bud you need to see somebody please we’re worried about you!!” and it’s hard to argue when he’s both physically and mentally exhausted so he just ends up letting them take him. he doesn’t have his existentialist therapist at first, that’s too intensive for his mental energy at the time, but he just sees a nice calm therapist who really helps him deal with some of the outstanding issues and find ways to hold on when he’s really bad off. and the others are all so excited and supportive but for some reason when he recommends they try it too, they seem to think he’s joking?

then Chase gets court-ordered to therapy and he’s like “FUCK fine!!” and it makes him sob his heart out every week and he feels so dumb and weak and stupid for like two months before he starts to come around to it. and it’s Henrik who really convinces him that it’s okay, and then eventually it actually starts to help?? and he gets to see the kids again!!! ahh!!! it’s a good time! he and Henrik start scheduling their appointments at the same time so they can get lunch together first and then walk home together too.

JJ gets pressured by the family to join them after he starts getting into some really bad habits like getting into fights and tearing his fists open beating up his punching bag and staring at his razor for long enough that Henrik gets scared and practically drags him there himself (he would not go but he hates to see Henrik so nervous and upset). Marvin has a complete breakdown after years of being the family tough guy without crying once in front of the others and they all get freaked out and ask him to go see somebody for their sake if nothing else (he would not go but when his little brothers look at him like that) and then Jackie is there like “good job guys! I’ll just be over here! love you! :)”

cause the thing is Marvin had convinced himself that he has to be tough enough to deal with everything he goes through in silence, but Jackie is WORSE because he’s just convinced himself he doesn’t have anything to deal with. He’s the big brother, first of all, so he just doesn’t have time for that, and he’s a hero, so nothing’s going to get to him anyway, of course. and then he just hasn’t been through as much as the others, right? Henrik and JJ with Anti, and Chase with his family, and his poor Marv must have been dealing with so much so quietly for so long, and if Jackie had just been a better brother to him he wouldn’t have HAD to do that, he wouldn’t have had to hide anything from anyone, he’d come to Jackie instead of hiding his problems but he doesn’t because he doesn’t trust him enough and that’s because of Jackie’s failures and ALL OF THIS IS JACKIE’S FAULT -

yeah, no, no problems! he’s good! he’s cruising! He doesn’t have it that bad he’s fine! he only struggles sometimes cause he’s a baby, right? he should toughen up, after all he heard Henrik sobbing last night and he has it so much worse, he’s been through so much, Jackie needs to look like everything’s okay so Henrik feels safe and calm. and then everything will be better and everything will be fine. once his brothers are fine, he’ll be fine.

and then his brothers are fine.

he stops, pauses, looks around.

Chase is out with the kids, sober for a year straight. JJ’s just got a new job and he seems happy and well-adjusted. Henrik’s showing his scars without freaking out and has been dealing with his panic attacks well. Marvin admits he had a bad day but says he’s going to make tomorrow a better one! Jackie’s never heard him say anything like that in his life and he seems to mean it, what the hell is happening?

all his brothers are fine and he’s still not… what is happening…. if everyone’s okay why does he still feel so bad about himself?

The others want to go to family therapy now. Apparently JJ’s therapist keeps recommending it because so many of his issues come back to worrying about upsetting the others, and then Marvin’s therapist agrees, and they’re all pretty comfy with therapy by now, and they want to go, they want to try it. and of course he’s not going to turn them down!! yeah, they need him to be the calm big brother in the room, keeping everything together, making sure they’re all safe? of course! he’ll come and support them all!! he’s a little bit terrified at the very prospect but they need this so he’ll do it, he can do it! for their sake. if it’s for their sake it’s okay, it’s permissible, and it’s not weak because it’s not for him, it’s for them.

and then they get in there and it’s so much messier than he expected. first of all the therapist right away goes “so everyone is seeing a therapist personally but you, Jackie” and he goes hot red and feels all his brothers looking at him and makes up something about not needing that and he sees Henrik turn away from him when he says it. and then she keeps trying to draw him into it and he hates that, this wasn’t what he planned, he just wanted to sit here and tell everyone they were doing great!! and then, oh, hell, everything is coming out. everything is coming bleeding out of his brothers and it’s messy and it’s ugly and he’s not a bystander, he’s a part of it, they even say his name sometimes, they even seem to accuse him sometimes. it’s not what he expected, it’s not at all what he expected, it’s not Chase going “I’m sad sometimes when you’re sad Marvin” and Marvin going “oh no I’m sad when you’re sad let’s work on this :’((” it’s like Jameson saying “I can’t tell any of you ANYTHING because half the time you treat me like an infant and the other half of the time you get so upset that even though I want to confide in you I can’t because I know it’ll send you all spiraling, I feel like I’m not allowed to be fucking suicidal but I am and I can’t trust any of you to deal with me - ” and then before he knows it Jackie is fucking sobbing in the therapy room so hard they all have to be done for the day and JJ is sitting there staring at him like he’s just proven his point and the guilt comes crashing down and he feels like he’s dying and he REFUSES to go back next week.

they’re all upset and JJ won’t talk to him. he WON’T go back to that, that was so horrible and humiliating, he’s not doing that again, he’s NEVER trying therapy again.

his brothers go to family therapy without him. that’s fine. that’s good. they’re allowed to. he waits for things to go back to normal.

they don’t.

JJ never talks to him anymore, not about the things that matter. He says there’s no bad blood between them and most likely that’s true, but the fact is he just doesn’t trust him. can’t confide in him. Jackie starts to feel sick every time they’re together, wondering if his baby brother is suicidal right now and just hiding it from him, sitting there doing his embroidery with a movie playing on the couch, thinking about killing himself. Jackie’s starting to get upset more often. Jackie’s starting to crumble. everyone is fine, for the most part. he doesn’t want to upset that. doesn’t want to put the burden of himself on their shoulders. he’s being such a fucking baby. why is he crying himself to sleep again every night? why did he have to go hide in the bathroom for five minutes at the restaurant yesterday because someone said the word antifreeze? why does Chase teasing him about taking the last piece of cake make him want to die so badly? why isn’t he ever happy anymore? Marvin asks him if he wants to go to the arcade and he doesn’t, he isn’t up for it. energy’s gone. hasn’t had much for a long time but he could bury the exhaustion from their sight and that was all that matters. Jamie accidentally cuts his thumb one day in the kitchen and Jackie wants in and sees the blood dripping onto his wrist and he loses it, he loses it, he’s screaming, he’s shouting at JJ, and Jameson just stands there and takes it, Jameson stands there staring at him when everybody else is shouting at Jackie to cut it out, stop it, what the hell Jackie? Jamie is still standing there in silence when Jackie has a full meltdown on the kitchen floor, followed promptly by a miserable, silent, exhausted shutdown that lasts for two days afterwards.

he goes back to family therapy. it isn’t really working. he’s really tired and sad and every time someone tries to confront him about an issue in their family he might be involved in he immediately starts crying and apologizing again and again, taking all the blame on his shoulders, promising them they didn’t do anything wrong even if they did, not accepting comfort or apologies from any of them, everything’s his fault, he promises he’ll fix it, he’ll never go out on patrol again if that’s what they want. and it’s so uncomfortable for everyone and soon family therapy starts turning into “tip-toeing around Jackie while Jackie feels miserable and gets worse” and their therapist tells them this isn’t working anymore.

You need to go to a therapist, they start telling him.

I’ve been going with you all the time, he says.

No, they say, you need to go to a therapist.

Oh.

Well, he can’t do that.

Well, why not? Huh?

Because he just can’t.

Because that’s not who he is.

Why isn’t it who he is?

Jackie, why?

Jackie, say something, say anything.

Why?

Because he’s not allowed to be that. He’s not allowed to need help. He’s got to keep them safe - you don’t - I do!

fuck’s sake, Jackie. You can’t keep doing this anymore. You just can’t.

I know, he says. I know.

but he won’t go even when it’s all sitting out in the open and everyone’s staring at him like they’re waiting for him to shatter into glass because the family therapist was not what he needed and he’s scared of the questions and the feeling of being torn apart and the conflict and the sadness and he thinks all therapy’s like that and it’s not for him and he won’t go. and then one day sweet little brother number three comes and lays down with him and hugs him real tight and puts himself right there in Jackie’s arms so his big brother gets to hold him and push their heads together and hear his heartbeat and feel him rubbing at his shoulder. and Chase has probably waited for a soft calm night to tell him this but there’s this really cool thing his therapist recommended for Jackie’s sake where you don’t have to talk at all in therapy if you don’t want to. they just give you this great sand and you can run your hands all over it and then they get all these like toys and models and things out and they ask you questions like “tell me about a time when you were happy” and you just have to build, man, and work from there. and he knows he’s been so sad and tired lately and he wants him to try it because he loves him and didn’t Jackie used to try and convince him to go too?

and you wouldn’t see me as a failure if i went? and you wouldn’t think you had to take care of me? and it wouldn’t be weird for you? and you wouldn’t make fun of me for it? and nobody would ask me too many questions? and i could just build?

and Chase gives him a lot of no’s and one good solid yes, yeah, bud, you can just build, and Jackie goes two weeks later and sits down with the sand and the toys in front of him and just lets it all go and, in plastic houses and little figurines that remind him of his family and the cool soothing weight of the sand in his hands, he tells the truth at last, without ever speaking once.

plus his therapist is really funny and sweet and positive and warm with him. and she keeps going “just between you and me” and he grins and knows he can tell her anything and it doesn’t have to come back and hurt his brothers at all if he doesn’t want it to, he can even say Forbidden Horrible things like “it makes me angry when he does this” or “I wanted to kill that man that night and it scared me how strong I was” and “sometimes I think I’m just as much a mistake as Anti was” and slowly, slowly, they start to work on it. and he learns to apologize respectfully and fairly, without being accidentally manipulative, and he learns to take care of them in a way that he couldn’t before, and he learns that he’s important too, and needed and loved, even if he isn’t strong or positive or perfect every day of every year.

they start going back to family therapy once he’s ready. they keep getting more and more tools to help them put themselves and each other back together again. it’s a good fit after all.

#suicidal ideation tw #panic attack tw #distress tw #but it ends sweet right?#he's a good boy

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ad1thi · 5 years

Text

i just called to say, i love you

dont let the title fool you this isnt fluffy at all

an au where the phone reaches before tony has fully recovered

post cacw, angst, past stony, 5+1, implied rhodeytony. the 5 times steve called and the one time tony did(nt)

The first time it rings, Tony doesn't pick up.

No thats not right

Tony can't pick up, because he's just woken up from a 3 month coma and is currently breathing through a tube because there's a scar across his chest the size of Steve's shield and he's surrounded by life saving machines and he can't physically reach out and pick it up

He's happy he had the foresight to sign to FRIDAY that she needed to link the phone to her mainframe, because it rings only twice before there's a small click and the room fills with a hesitant

"Tony?"

There's a beat of silence, because Tony can't talk with a tube in his mouth and Steve's voice comes out more frantic

"Tony?"

Tony's saved from garbling a reply through the tube when FRIDAY steps in and says smoothly "Boss is indisposed right now, can I take a message?"

Steve is audibly flustered, Tony can hear him rustling sheets as he sits up, and he imagines its because of the surprise that FRIDAY replied and not him

"Hey FRI, uh is Tony incredibly busy?"

"Like I said, he's indisposed. Can I take a message or should I end the call?" there's a coolness to FRIDAY's tone and Tony absently wonders who taught his girl lip while he was under

"No thats fine," Tony can feel the dejection coming in waves, and there's a small, twisted part of him that's lying on a bed clinging onto his life because of the man on the phone- that still wants to crawl over and give him comfort, "I'll just uh- I'll try later that's alright."

There's a pregnant pause and then Steve's voice filters through again, "Would you tell him I called please?"

And FRIDAY replies, "I'll note it down on his low priority list" and severs the line before Steve can respond

The second time it rings, Tony's just gotten back use of his throat. Rhodey has been wheeling in and out of his hospital suite periodically to feed him ice-cubes, and he's too worn down to fight the mother-henning

He's got all these ideas for braces that'll help Rhodey walk, but his hands shake too much and he's too weak to leave his bed, so he lets Rhodey heave himself up on the bed frame, and dutifully opens his mouth for food and water and ice cubes

but Rhodey isn't here and the phone is ringing and Tony can't stop his hands shaking

He manages to sign pick up to FRIDAY's camera in the corner of the room, and there's a soft click and a tentative

"Tony?"

just like last time

and it makes Tony want to laugh, inexplicably, because Steve left a hole in Tony's chest and he's the one who sounds scared while Tony is stuck to a bed

"Yeah Cap?" he croaks out, and he hates how frail he sounds, how obviously weak he is

"Tony? Is everything okay?"

Steve's voice is louder now, like he's holding the phone closer to him, like he cares

"you called?" he says and he's proud of how steady his voice is, how calm it is

"Yeah yeah i did i just," he trails off; and Tony bends closer to the phone until he realises that the call is being played by FRIDAY

"I just wanted to see how you were doing"

There's a hitch in Tony's voice, he knows because Steve says "Tony? Is everything okay?" but he can't breathe and the walls are closing in on him and his senses are dulling and

and someone's holding onto him, tight and steady and Tony leans into it desperately, anchoring himself to the lifeboat

His breath evens out and his vision sharpens, and in stages, he breaths in the musky scent of Rhodey

He loosens the death-grip he has on his shirt, but he doesn't move out

its selfish, so unbelievably selfish, because he knows Rhodey shouldn't be standing on his feet, but nobody ever accused Tony Stark of being a martyr

no, Tony Stark takes and takes and takes, and then he takes some more

His consciousness comes back in stages; and Steve's frantic voice starts getting louder

"Tony sweetheart, fuck sorry, didn't mean to call you that, Tony, are you- are you okay?"

Tony opens his mouth to reply, but Rhodey's dry tone comes out

"He's absolutely fine Captain, not that its any of your concern"

There's a soft thud and Tony knows its because Steve dropped the phone

he doesn't have the energy to smile

"Rhodey, I uh, I didn't realise you were there too"

"I am wherever Tony is, at all times Captain, its what friends do," there's a hitch in Steve's voice, but Rhodey continues like he hasn't heard it, "and its Colonel Rhodes to you"

The line clicks off before Tony can hear Steve's response, and he busies himself running soft circles, loosening his throat long enough to ask

"Is that all we are? friends?" in a hoarse voice

Rhodey doesn't say anything, but he does lean down and press his lips to the corner of Tony's mouth, and that, Tony supposes, is answer enough

The third time the phone rings, its been so long, Tony's almost forgotten that the phone exists

Almost

As in its tucked inside one of his drawers, under a bunch of old files and documents, next to a small velvet box he found hiding in Steve's socks that he never got around to throwing away

Almost

As in he curls up next to Rhodey everynight, except the nights when he's looking for someone more muscular, someone blonder, someone who isn't the man sitting next to him

Almost

As in he's healthy and the braces work like a dream and he smiles more than he doesn't, but he still reaches for it sometimes and flips it open just to stare at the screen blankly

The phone rings and it takes him a second to place the sound, before he starts fumbling for anything that vaguely masquerades as a bookmark; thumbs the phone open and holds it to his ear

"Tony?" Steve's voice sounds gruffer, more focused, like he's actually called with a purpose

Despite himself, Tony straightens, and he silently signals for FRIDAY to call Rhodey; this might be an Avengers-level threat and while Tony's healthy- he isn't quite there yet

"Cap," he says neutrally

"Tony oh thank god," Steve's panting on the other end, and Tony physically bites on his tongue to stop himself from asking if he's okay, "Its Bucky"

Tony throws the phone across the room, and it hits the wall just as Rhodey is entering

To his credit, Rhodey barely flinches, he just walks over and maneuvers Tony until he's lying against his chest; fingers carding through his hair

Seconds, minutes, hours later, Tony whispers "he called about Bucky" and Rhodey bends down to press his lips to his forehead and they stay like that until they fall asleep; coccooned in each other's embrace

The next day, T'Challa calls to inform them that Wakanda will officially be initiating proceedings to exonerate James Barnes of all his crimes, and Tony feels a visceral anger until he realises that Steve probably called to give him a heads up

Its progress, evidence that Steve no longer meant to keep things from him, but the pain still burns anyway

The phone wakes Tony up from his sleep, trilling and buzzing and Tony groans, flipping it open and pressing it to his ear

"Its ass o'clock in the morning Steve you better be dying or so help me god I'll kill you myself"

"You," he breaks off with a hic, "you called me Steve"

"I didn't think you did that anymore," there's a slur to Steve's speech- strong enough that it percolates through Tony's brain and he sends a silent curse to the entities above because his ex has fucking drunk called him

"Its been over a year Steve," he says softly but firmly, "I've moved on"

"You've, you've moved on?" he sounds so small, like a child who lost his favourite toy; and Tony's heart aches

but not a deep, twisted ache; a milder, softer one- for the man Steve used to be

"Steve," he says patiently, "its 2 o'clock in the morning; why you'd call?"

"I just called," there's a swish of liquid, and Tony has the image of Steve cradling a bottle, curled around the flip- phone burned into his memory, "i just called to say i love you"

"i love you and i miss you and i just-" he sniffles, and something he didn't know was still in him breaks at the thought of Steve crying, "i miss you"

"Steve," he says slowly, "you're drunk, and I'm tired"

"I'm drunk, and I love you," he slurs, "and tomorrow I'll be sober, and I'll still love you"

"goodnight Steve," Tony says and pushes the phone away before he says something he'll regret

Its the stupid goddamn flip-phone. Thats how they find him. Tony's taken to keeping it on his person because all his intel says that something big is coming, and he doesn't want to be unprepared, so its not even a thought to slip it into his pockets before he flys to bumfuck Nevada to snoop around an AIM base

and he's so close downloading everything and getting away without detection, when the flip-phone starts ringing, and then all bets are off

"Steve," Tony intones as he bends behind a desk, "this better be important"

Steve says something in reply but its lost in the sound of bullets as Tony runs across the hall and ducks behind a pillar

"Can you say that again, I missed that"

"Tony are you, are you being shot at?" Steve's voice reaches new pitches and Tony shoots at the AIM goons coming 'round the corner before slipping down to the floor below

"I was being shot at," he says plaintively, keeping his voice low as he checks the expansive space, "now im being hunted"

"Why would you pick up when you're being shot at?!" Tony grimaces at his voice

"You did give me this phone for emergencies. I thought maybe this time you were using it for what it was intended. The end of the world waits for - ," he cuts off with a grunt as a bullet hits his leg, hobbling to where Rhodey is waiting with his escape ride

"- no-one," he wheezes out once he's in the car, and Rhodey is breaking a lot more traffic law than he should be comfortable doing

"the end of the world waits for no-one, so why'd you call?"

There's silence on the other end and Tony pulls the phone away from his ear to check the call hasn't accidently been disconnected, before saying "Steve? Are you still there?"

"you told me that I was only saying I love you because I was drunk"

Its so left field that Tony takes a few seconds to place what Steve is referring to, but when he does- he can't stop himself from sighing

"Steve look I - "

"I'm coming back to New York in 10 days," Steve barrels on like Tony hadn't started speaking, "I'm coming back home and I'm sober and I still completely and utterly love you."

"The only question is," and Tony can feel Steve steeling himself, "do you still love me?"

Tony looks over to where Rhodey is driving, petting the scar against his chest absentmindedly.

The scar had not hurt Harry in 19 years he thinks when Rhodey feels his gaze and smiles; but there's a tightness in his fingers and Tony knows that Rhodey heard the whole thing

"Steve I- ," he pauses, "ask me again once you're in town"

The line clicks on the other side, and he reaches out to intertwine his fingers with Rhodey's free hand

"I'm not going to make you choose Tones," Rhodey says softly; and Tony lifts their hands so he can press his lips to Rhodey's calloused hands because he knows

There's a silent countdown in the air that week, and Tony has a mental tally of the days,hours, seconds until Steve is back in New York

Except in the end, it doesn't really matter because 9h, 30 minutes and 4 seconds before Steve is expected to arrive in New York, Tony hitches a ride to space in a donut

He's seen the news

Of course he's seen the news

Its all anyone's seen, and the only reason why he agreed to the godforsaken detour so that they could pick up Vision and Wanda

It's not that he didn't want to help them, its that he told Wanda not to go but she insisted and now instead of being in New York and saving Tony he's in Scotland, saving the person who was supposed to be looking after Tony

He's seen the news

He knows what's going on

But he still can't stop staring at the flip-phone, willing it to ring

So it honestly shouldn't take him this long to pick up when it actually does ring

"Tony?" he says, and he could cry because tony's okay tony's okay tony's -

"Steve?" thats not tony

"Steve hey its Bruce. Long time. Look I know its been a while and this is all very confusing and I'll answer all your questions later but Steve, Steve you need to come back to New York"

"Where's Tony?" he says dumbly, like he hasn't been watching the news obsessively

"Tony's," Bruce's voice cracks, "Tony's gone Cap. And we need you"

Fin

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lasercruz · 4 years

Text

@quarterdollar fuck you and im sorry that i took so long to answer and i hope that im mostly coherent because i am. very tired as im typing this

1: Full name Nicky Jackie Marie Cruz !!

2: Age 21

3: 3 Fears Mold, tall heights if I’m not secured (like, I’m not scared of rollercoaster heights but I’m scared of like, cliffs), and balloons esp balloon animals

4: 3 things I love I love so many things uhh hh h. Jjba, adventure zone, and my friendssss 💞

I know turn ons/offs aren’t inherently sexual but i never know what to say for them so im skipping them :0

7: My best friend you 🥺🥺

8: Sexual orientation bi

9: My best first date ive never really been on a actual date :0

10: How tall am I 5′3

11: What do I miss being with my friends physically and just watching stuff or goofing around on the floor 😭

12: What time were I born 11:02pm

13: Favourite color Dark blues

14: Do I have a crush yes shh

15: Favourite quote there so much sappy quotes that are on uquizzes a lot that i like a lot the first that comes to mind is “ You’re in a car with a beautiful boy, and he won’t tell you that he loves you, but he loves you.” and so on and also “if i loved you less i might be able to talk about it more”

16: Favourite place As far as just physically and not like people or other stuff that comes with with a place, I miss VT campus a lot tbh more than I thought I would. To pick a more specific place, the gazebo at the duck pond cause its where I’d go if I wanted to be alone or like if my roommate was sleeping or working and i didnt want to worry about being quite and it was always super peaceful

17: Favourite food I dont really have One favorite food it just depends what I’m in the mood for but my go to answer for favorite food category wise is either chinese or seafood

18: Do I use sarcasm Depends who I’m with ?? Generally no not often but if im close with someone and just goofin yeah

19: What am I listening to right now My love song playlist. its my go to thing to listen to cause my playlist with all my music has so much on it that i end up skipping half the songs until i find something im in the mood for and this one has a lot less that i end up skipping. the current song its on is day without you by keep for cheap

20: First thing I notice in new person It depends on the person like if they have something that stands out about them, thats what I tend to notice but like. How they carry themself i guess ? cause i feel like thats a easy way to get a read on somebody before talking to them

21: Shoe size 5 mens / 7 womans

22: Eye color Brown

23: Hair color Naturally dark brown but currently dyed black with rainbow bangs

24: Favourite style of clothing this question is on so many ask games and quizzes and I never know how to answer it cause i feel like i dont really have one specific style,, I like colorful and fun stuff i guess ?

25: Ever done a prank call? No and if you prank call a place of business youre annoying. i used to answer phones at work and we didn’t get them super often but GOD i hate prank callers

27: Meaning behind my URL emu is an old nickname and what i mainly went by until i settled on Nicky and this. is my blog.

28: Favourite movie Baby driver !!

29: Favourite song my go to answer for this is community gardens by the scary jokes

30: Favourite band THE SCARY JOKES

31: How I feel right now sleeby,,,,

32: Someone I love i love , my friendz ,, 🥺🥰

33: My current relationship status single ✌️

34: My relationship with my parents im close to my mom but i dont really get along with my dad ,

35: Favourite holiday Christmas !

36: Tattoos and piercing i have no tattoos, 3 piercings in each ear (2 on each earlobe and 1 on the top on each side)

37: Tattoos and piercing i want I want a interrobang on my wrist and an Aquarius symbol on my ankle and MAYBE the joestar birthmark, i wouldn’t mind more ear piercings and i want a septum piercing but ive seen videos of them getting done and they make me squirm i dont know if id go through with it

38: The reason I joined Tumblr sdklgkjgh i had a my little pony roleplay blog before i made my personal account

39: Do I and my last ex hate each other? no we’re good friends !!

40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts? no not regularly at least

41: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted? no

42: When did I last hold hands? my mom tried to hold my hand when i was half asleep on the couch the other day but like i was so out of it so like it was more our fingers together and the rest of my hand just loosely dangling so if that doesnt count, you

43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning? i give myself about 2 hours if im doing full makeup but thats purposefully longer than i need so i dont have to worry about rushing and i can relax and take my time

44: Have You shaved your legs in the past three days? no i only shave them if they’re gonna be showing or if the Urge to be Smooth comes over me

45: Where am I right now? my room at home on my bed

46: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me? probably Kaylie cause she doesn’t drink and i assume if im drunk with other friends there she’d be the only sober one

47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level? Reasonable, if i have it too loud i cant think so the only time i have my music loud is if im doing nothing and want to Not Think

48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad? Ye

49: Am I excited for anything? short term im excited for the ai crushes all banks stream tonight and long term im excited to move into our apartment

50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to? no im not a tell everything to someone type of person .

51: How often do I wear a fake smile? i smile most of the time like, at work (before we wore masks) id always be smiling to look nice and like. just in general if i want to Not Look Unhappy or whatever

52: When was the last time I hugged someone? my mom probably like, yesterday

53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me? ive never kissed any1 .

54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not? nope i don’t think i really trust easily so like this doesnt rlly happen,

55: What is something I disliked about today? i woke up late cause i was up late last night so ive been tired all day I dont like the feeling

56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? language barriers aside itd be super cool to meet hirohiko araki

57: What do I think about most? Whatever media im currently most into so right now adventure zone and magnus archives

58: What’s my strangest talent? umm i dunno im kinda flexable i guess ? not like ~contortionist~ level but like enough that i can freak people out sometimes

59: Do I have any strange phobias? i mentioned balloons as a fear in an eariler question so yeah that but im a lot better about it than i used to be

60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? in front tbh

61: What was the last lie I told? i was on phones for the last hour and a half of my shift on friday and like. when people call and ask if an item is in stock and i can’t confirm it i, just tell them its not. like, someone asked if we had a specific kayak and i usually just search the walmart app or run over to where itd be to check but the kayaks are to far for me to run to and the app said limited stock which usually means little to none so , i just put it on hold for a bit then tell him we’re out.

62: Do I perfer talking on the phone or video chatting online? i like video chatting in theory cause its nice to see people visibly react to stuff but i tend to get too self conscious about how i look so i just do audio only

63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? yes to both !! i am both

64: Do I believe in magic? yes in some ways i suppose

65: Do I believe in luck? yes im v superstitious

66: What’s the weather like right now? its a pretty good day its sunny but not too hot :oo

67: What was the last book I’ve read? its been ages since i last read a book in full 😔 i honestly dont knwo what the last one would of been 😔 😔

68: Do I like the smell of gasoline? yes !!! love it

69: Do I have any nicknames? not anything i get consistently called no

70: What was the worst injury I’ve ever had? ive never gotten super hurt that i can think of ??

71: Do I spend money or save it? save it

72: Can I touch my nose with a tounge? no

73: Is there anything pink in 10 feets from me? doppio bean plush ,,,,

74: Favourite animal? hedgehogs!!!!

75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM? on my phone probably on tiktok or something waiting for jojo to come on toonami

76: What do I think is Satan’s last name is? I? dont think he has one i guess ??

77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it? butterflies by samsa but it makes me happy in the “im crying now” kinda way itss cute

78: How can you win my heart? just by being nice and respectful tbh ,

79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone? idk i dont really want anything fancy just my name (chosen name please god im so scared of dying and geting my birth name on my tombstone if that happens i WILL come back as a vengeful ghost) and my birth and death dates

80: What is my favorite word? saccharine

81: My top 5 blogs on tumblr by my tumblr crushes (which its been YEARS since i looked at) ; frostios, 27names4tears, smollpurrito, happynaru, and warpedlamp

82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say? if we being real id just get so scared dsjkfsldjglg theres so much i could say i dont know :((

83: Do I have any relatives in jail? not ? that i know of

84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power? why are all the questions worded super basic except this one skdlskdjfj. Shape shifting

85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on? i can really think of anything really as long as a friend is asking i tend to answer truthfully ?

86: What is my current desktop picture? Sobble BUT this reminded me that i wanted to change it to a xenoblade pic so its this now :

90: Failed a class? no

91: Kissed a boy? no

92: Kissed a girl? no

93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain? no but oh god just thinking about that im 🥺🥺🥺🥺 id die id melt 🥺🥺

94: Had job? ye i was a cashier for a year in highschool and then i work in wamlart apparel in the summers

95: Left the house without my wallet? not when I know ill need it no, but ive left it home if im just going to a friend or family member’s house or i have my mom’s card or some cash in my pocket

96: Bullied someone on the internet? no !!

98: Played on a sports team? no lmao i dont do sports

99: Smoked weed? no

100: Did drugs? i had a weed brownie like once but it was such a small piece i didnt really feel anything

101: Smoked cigarettes? no

102: Drank alcohol? Ye

103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan? not currently i was vegan for a little bit to encourage a friend that was doing it though

104: Been overweight? no

105: Been underweight? no

106: Been to a wedding? yes three, my grandma’s when she got remarried, and both my brothers

107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight? probably yes lmao often

108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight? not TV TV but if netflix and the like count then yes

109: Been outside my home country? no :(

110: Gotten my heart broken? not ? really no

111: Been to a professional sports game? ive been to a handful of Yankee games

112: Broken a bone? no

114: Been to prom? yes i went to my highschool’s and a friend’s highschool’s my senior year

115: Been in airplane? no

116: Fly by helicopter? no

117: What concerts have I been to? none :((((

118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex? ye

119: Learned another language? i took 3 years of Spanish in high school but i wasn’t any good at it and dont really remember much of what i did learn

120: Wore make up? yes i do often :0

123: Dyed my hair? ye a lot

124: Voted in a presidential election? yes ever since iv been old enough to i vote

125: Rode in an ambulance? no

126: Had a surgery? dental surgery yes

127: Met someone famous? Not anyone i’d count no

128: Stalked someone on a social network? depends on what you count as stalking i guess but like not ever in a creepy way like ive been on people’s social media to find out stuff about them like. if theyre in a relationship or especially after highschool ill wonder about someone i havent talked to in awhile and ill see what theyve been up to and what theyre doing with their life and stuff

129: Peed outside? no

130: Been fishing? yes like once

131: Helped with charity? donation wise yes

132: Been rejected by a crush? ive never confessed to anyone and been rejected but once a friend told my crush i liked them and they confronted me about it and rejected me but it made me more mad at the friend that told them than it made me sad about being rejected because i knew it’d probably go like that and it justmade thing awkward between us for awhile 😔

133: Broken a mirror? ive broken the little mirrors inside eyeshadow pallets but i havent broken full ones

134: What do I want for birthday? usually just money lol or something thoughtful and cute

135: How many kids do I want and what will be their names? i aggresivly do NOT want kids BUT hypohetically Elliot or Xander for a boy and idk what i’d nam a girl

136: Was I named after anyone? no

137: Do I like my handwriting? its messy so no not really but if im writing something for myself like a not or whatever i dont mind as long as i can read it

138: What was my favourite toy as a child? even as a little kid i always played computer games but other than that, this guy :

139: Favourite Tv Show? Jojo

140: Where do I want to live when older? New york or japan

141: Play any musical instrument? i can kind of play harmonica

142: One of my scars, how did I get it? i burnt my thumb kinda bad on the oven a while ago its still kinda healing but right now it looks like its gonna stay a scar

143: Favourite pizza toping? i like everything/suprieme pizza but if i have to pick one single topping pepperoni

144: Am I afraid of the dark? yes :((

145: Am I afraid of heights? mentioned it earlier but yes if im not strapped in or secured etc

146: Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad? no im so scared of being caught doing something bad that i just. dont

147: Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end? i mean yes but thats life babey

149: What my greatest achievments are ive gotten awards for grades and stuff but that boring BUT i got the english department award or whatever that was called im very proud of that

151: What I’d do if I won in a lottery i donate some and save the rest tbh

152: What do I like about myself i can be pretty sometimes 👉👈 im cute or whateva ,,,

153: My closest Tumblr friend i dont really havent “tumblr friends” aside from friends i know irl and also tey have tumblrs ,,

154: Something I fantasise about just. growing up and having my own place maybe with someone and. being comfortable and okay and not having to worry ,,

155: Any question you’d like? dkfjhdskhf japan :000

#ask #mine

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beccarooni · 5 years

Text

Goodnight, Sakaar

It was quiet. Which was surprising, given the green giant sleeping next to him. He’d honestly expected Hulk to be a snorer, or perhaps a talker, but all he got was the faint sound of breathing and the gentle rise and fall of a chest.

The silence left a ringing in his ears, a pounding behind his skull left over from the gladiator ring that made every muscle twinge and was really making sleep difficult at this point. It wasn’t that he wasn’t tired - he was fairly sure he’d never been this tired in his life. But his mind wouldn’t rest, wouldn’t settle, and kept forcing the unwanted to the forefront of his thoughts.

If not for the disc in his neck, he was fairly sure he would be conjuring a storm by now.

He could feel the lightning seethe under his skin, and for a moment idly watched it burn and glimmer across his hand.

Sparkles.

Useless, stupid, sparkles.

That was all that was left of the power that had ripped apart the skies themselves. His hammer, crushed like glass in the fist of his sister. And with it, his power.

Thor pulled the blanket up closer around himself, trying to stifle the soft glow of his hands, and instead turned his gaze towards the stars. Different to Asgard, Midgard, any of the places he’d been. Sakaar seemed to have its own constellations, its own system that moved outside of the 9 realms he’d been raised in.

The 9 realms that could be on fire, by now. Burnt to their core by Hela and whatever army she’d managed to amass.

Stars twinkled above him, and somewhere out there was his home. His kingdom. And it was burning. It was burning and he couldn’t do a thing about it because of a disc.

He moved onto his side, tearing his eyes away from the stars and instead focusing them onto Hulk’s back. The big, green back, rippling with muscle, that somehow reminded him of his other home. Of Midgard. Of forests and leaves and his teammates who’d always have his back when they needed him. It was…comforting, in a way. Granted, Hulk had recently punched him into unconsciousness but he seemed to have calmed down now. Even offered to share his bed, once he’d heard Thor’s groans of discomfort from where he tried to sleep on the floor.

Thor had wanted to protest. Really, he had. But Hulk’s bed was big, and the blankets looked soft, and he’d never admit it but he was hurting. Things had happened in quick succession that had left him feeling somewhat lost, and Hulk was offering him a place of refuge, and who was he to say no, really?

And besides, Hulk wasn’t that bad. He was actually rather sweet, in a rough, naive sort of way. He’d planted one of his capes over Thor’s shoulders as a makeshift blanket when it became evident that one wasn’t enough to cover them both, and told him in no uncertain terms to get some rest.

“Blondie sleep now.” He’d said, patting his shoulder over the garishly patterned fabric. “Feel better tomorrow.”

Well, it was probably tomorrow by now. And Thor didn’t feel better.

His home was burning. The prophecy from two years ago, singed into his mind by the Maximoff girl, Heimdall’s bloodied hands gripping his arms and his voice, grating and sharp, speaking of the destruction he would bring.

You’re a destroyer, Odinson.

We are all dead, can you not see?

“Not asleep?”

Deep tones, mumbled through fleeting wakefulness jarred him out of his stupor, as green eyes poked through the darkness to stare at him reproachfully.

Hulk’s eyes glowed slightly, a faint green shine. Weird.

“No, not quite.” Thor frowned to himself, turning onto his back to look at the ceiling instead. “Did I wake you?”

“Mm.” Hulk nodded, huge hands clamping against a mouth to stifle a yawn. There was a rustling of sheets, and out of the corner of his eye Thor caught Hulk staring at him a little more intently than before. Thick brows furrowed, nose slightly scrunched, Hulk huffed slightly through his nostrils. “Thor stressed.”

He opened his mouth, and was surprised at how quickly he’d wanted to lie. He didn’t like lying, and by all accounts wasn’t particularly good at it. That was more Loki’s field of excellence, after all. But the words ‘Im fine’ seemed to escape him before he could even think about what he was saying.

“Just tired, that’s all.” He offered a smile, reaching out to pat Hulk’s forearm before twisting onto his side, trying to escape the prying green light of his eyes. “I’m sorry for waking you. Go back to sleep.”

“What Thor thinking about?”

A perfectly innocent question. One that he could feel the lie building in his throat - the gladiator fight, perhaps? The grandmaster? The ugly walls? He had options. Ones outside of what was actually running through his head. The white hot fear that his planet was going to die. His people were going to die. And there wasn’t anything he could do about it.

Thor wound the blanket tighter between his fingers, screwing his eyes shut against the faint sparks that danced across his palms. He didn’t want to say what he was thinking about. He didn’t even want to be thinking about it.

But someone had to.

He just hated that it had to be him.

And he would’ve kept that secret, too. If it hadn’t been for Hulk’s hand, touching his shoulder with an almost nervous apprehension. He’d been on the receiving end of Hulk’s force before, he’d seen the extent of his strength. But this…this was new. It was gentle. It was a comforting weight across his back, a reminder that right now, he wasn’t alone. Someone was here, waiting to listen.

He just needed to find the words.

“I’m…scared.” He finally choked out, briefly turning his head to look out to the night sky.

“My people are in danger, and everything the Norns told me is coming true and I don’t even know if I can stop it, let alone how. I don’t…” He trailed off, suddenly tight and crushing against his throat. When his voice finally came back to him, it felt small, fragile, with a small waver to it that Thor tried very hard to banish. “I don’t even have my hammer.”

Hulk was quiet for a time after that. So long that Thor thought for a moment he’d fallen back asleep. But eventually, the mattress shifted, as Hulk pushed himself up onto his elbows, shrugging his shoulders as he attempted to string the right words together.

“Thor…”

Hulk began, frowning, fiddling with his hands in a way that seemed more to belong to Banner than it had his green counterpart. The bed creaked as he shuffled somewhat closer, the hand on his shoulder returning to turn Thor towards him, those emerald eyes boring down onto him like the cameras in the arena.

“Thor strong. Brave. Tough, like Hulk.” He paused tilting his head, one large thumb rubbing small circles through Thor’s armor. “Thor gonna be okay.”

Thor blinked, part of him telling him that this was stupid. He shouldn’t be taking advice from the Hulk. You didn’t do that, you took advice from Bruce, the scientist, the doctor. Hulk wasn’t supposed to contain profound knowledge and he certainly wasn’t supposed to be comforting.

But that didn’t change the fact that he was. Hulk was telling him that he was strong, that he could do this, and by the Norns did he want to believe him.

Thor released his hold on the blanket, flexing his fingers in front of his eyes. No lightning. Just sparks, dancing between his fingertips. Hardly the stuff of legend. He’d battled before, frost giants, dark elves, robots, his brother that one time. But this one…this one was hurting. He didn’t have a team with him, at least not one he was used to. Or, maybe he did. Maybe his team was a big green man who somehow believed that he could save a planet from destruction.

He so wanted to keep his voice strong for this. But it was quiet, practically a whisper, a barely audible sound breaking the silence of the room. “You really think I can do it?”

Hulk breathed out sharply through his nose, tossing his head against the pillow in an attempt at a shrug. “Hulk don’t know what Thor doing. But yes. Thor not that puny.”

A small smile graced Thor’s features, the pressure in his chest feeling just that little bit lighter when he allowed himself a chuckle, pressing his face half into the pillow to at least try and cover the sound.

“Blondie stop laughing! Hulk being serious!” One of Hulk’s hands roughly prodded him in the shoulder, the outrage in his voice only serving to make Thor’s giggling harder to contain.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. It’s just…” He sighed, happily this time, and sat up in the bed so he could look at Hulk properly. “It’s lovely that you care. You’re very sweet to say all that.”

“Hulk not sweet! Hulk strong!” Hulk’s frown deepened as Thor clamped his hand over his mouth, shoulders shaking with muted laughter. “Blondie stop it!”

“Alright, alright!”

Thor narrowly dodged one of Hulk’s hands, slamming into the mattress where he’d been laying just seconds ago. He was still smiling, he didn’t think he was ever going to be able to banish that grin from his face, but he’d rather avoid a further pummeling from Hulk if he could. And, besides. It had been sweet. And it had made him feel better. The last thing he wanted to do was make Hulk uncomfortable, even if it was just through compliments.

He held his hands up in defence, moving slowly to pat the green muscle of Hulk’s chest in a show of thanks, his tone sobering slightly as he tried to claw for words that seemed more sincere.

“Truly, you are a creature of wisdom. Thank you.”

Hulk sniffed, tossing his head back against the pillow and drawing most of the blankets with him, staring up at Thor with a soft green glow spilling from between the blankets.

“Thor welcome. Now go sleep.”

“Yes, yes of course. That seems wise.” He stretched out on the bed, letting his eyes shut against the harsh colours of the ceiling, trying to tune out the background noise of Sakaar as he made himself comfortable. “Goodnight, Hulk.”

“Night, Blondie.”

#thor odinson #hulk #thorhulk #gammathunder #gamma hammer #fanfic #ragnarok spoilers #missing scene #drabble #thulk

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fieldfullofbangtan · 5 years

Text

bts imgn: taking care of them when they are drunk (friends)

holy poop this is my first ever imagine and it is WAY too long im gonna try to make it shorter in the future lol

(also im taking requests! so send emmmm)

requests are open!

✎ masterlist

SeokJin

Jin would call you at 3am asking you to pick him up from a bar. You knew that the boys sometimes went out to grab a drink but this time Jin was alone which was weird. He didn’t- or couldn’t say much more than just “(Y/N) please can you come pick me up? Im at the usual place...”.

When you got there he sat outside on a bench napping, you had to pretty much carry him to the car. He crashed at your place cause you thought him getting drunk might be because of some fight he had with the others. When he woke up he explained.

“Did I puke?”

“God I hope not...” you say worried looking around.

“Sorry... The bar had a drink called unicorn poop and it tasted like cotton candy and I think we all had one too many so the boys left without noticing I went to the bathroom...”

Just as he finished that sentence the front door busts open and 6 men run inside looking scared shitless. When they spot Jin on the couch they all sigh in relief.

“Thank god...”

( vv him being groggy af in the morning vv )

Namjoon

Namjoon can drink, everybody knows that. He is usually the one who acts the most sober and takes care of the others. But you’re not that bad of a drinker yourself. A few cocktails and a few shots is no biggie. So when you all went out one night Jin and Suga had to bring the lightweights home because they were all basically asleep 2.5 hours in.

You and Namjoon were just beginning though. After another 1.5 hours of dancing and drinking your feet started to hurt and the music was getting too loud. You walk around to try to find Joon but he is nowhere to be seen. Suddenly somebody hugs you from behind. Getting ready to headbutt whatever creep is behind you, he says

“Can we go home now pleaaaase”

You laugh at how dorky Joon is being. He’s only like this is he’s wasted. He becomes a 9 year old boy who has abandoment issues.

“Sure but you will need to let me go cause I can’t move when you are hugging me like this” you say as you laugh.

“Fine...” he says as he pouts.

The club is walking distans to their dorm so you decide to just walk with him and crash there. The 15 minute walk is filled with corny dad jokes, waves of compliments and occasional deep thoughts. You even have to save him from walking into a few lamp posts and poles.

Waking up at their dorms the day after you see a message on your phone.

Namjoon 9:30

- we had to leave early for practice this morning but we left you some Doenjang soup. thanks for a fun night out and if you tell anyone about how drunk i was last night you are no longer allowed to borrow my clothes. ily :)

(vv you are yoongiiii vv)

Yoongi

You hear someone knocking at your door at 12pm. The smart thing to do is grab a frying pan and hide in the closet, but this is not the first time something like this has happened. Yoongi has a tendency to drink when he is feeling down and with the holidays coming up, the possibility of him not being able to spend it with his family usually gets to him. The sloppy, barely audible knocks also point to it being a drunk Yoongi.

Opening the door he is looking at his feet, hair covering his face.

“Come in...”

“Im sorry you always have to deal with me when I’m like this...” he mumbles.

He couldn’t really talk about it with the others because they are most likely just as upset or stressed. It would just end in 7 grown men drinking their sadness away together.

You don’t say much. You grab a beer, a bottle of water and a few blankets from your couch and drag him with you up to the roof of your apartment buildning. Thankfully it’s not freezing cold out and your hoodie plus a few layers of blankets is just enough to warm you. You sit down on the ground, not too far in the distans you can see the skyscrapers of Seoul and above you a clear, star-filled sky. This is where you always go when you feel down. Nothing can make your problems seem small better than skyscrapers and stars.

Yoongi reaches for the bottle of beer when you swat his hand away.

“That is for me.” “This” ... you give him the water bottle ... “is for you”.

Yoongi sighs but takes the waterbottle and opens it to drink some.

The rest of the night you talk about everything and nothing, you make him promise to call you if he ever feels bad enough to repeat this and when the clock reaches 3am, Jin calls and convinces Yoongi to go back to the dorms. He hugs you goodbye and holds you a little longer than usual giving you a kiss on the forehead.

“Thank you (Y/N), I owe you”

Hoseok

Partying with J-hope always ends badly. He has a lot of fun without alcohol, so imagine him drunk. Yea he has way too much fun. He will dance too hard and spill someone’s drink, which leads to a fight. Maybe hit on someone’s girlfriend, which leads to a fight. Once he thought some other guy was Jungkook and playfully slapped him on the head, when the random dude turned around he pointed at someone else, which lead to a fight.

Usually the others can calm situations like that down, but in your case when drinking with hoseok alone, the goal was to stop those situations before they even started.

“Heyyyy that guy looks like Donald Trump” Hoseok slurrs.

“What? Who? Nobody here it over 30...” you look around confused.

“Him over there! With the orange hair!” he says amused.

“Hoseok Donald Trump has orange skin not orange hair boi get your disses right”

“HEY, HEY DONALD!!” he yells at the guy.

“HOSEOK WTF” you whisper-shout as you cover his mouth.

The guy and his entire entourage looks at us confused as Hosoek waves happily at them.

“Why are you always trying to get beaten up????”

Jimin

Jimin sometimes drink too much and it can be because he feels a lot of pressure and alcohol can help relieve that. You followed them to Japan, their first world tour destination, to see the show and they were able to book you a hotel room in the same hotel as them.

After eating dinner with all of them in Joon and Yoongis room they all wanted to sleep earlier because of the concert the next day but Jimin and Jungkook said you could hang a little longer with them by the bar.

Jungkook left after one beer but Jimin stayed with you. When you finished your first drink Jimin was already on his third. You could notice that he was feeling the alcohol because he smiled a little bit more and spoke a little less clearly

“You have a long day tomorrow Jimin, I think you should go to bed” you say slightly worried about his hangover tomorrow.

“Don’t worry, I won’t be able to sleep anyways...” Jimin says with a sad smile.

“Hm?” you look at him for an explanation.

“My anxiety hits the roof right before a concert, I have so many people I need to make proud and I will never be good enough for them...” he drinks what’s remaining in his glass. “I never feel like I’m enough compared to the others, you know?” his eyes start tearing up.

Your heart sinks and you pull him into a hug. “Don’t be stupid, everybody loves you and all your flaws. They don’t expect you to be perfect, they expect you to be human.” You grab his shoulders and push him up from your embrace, staring at him. “Your gonna go to bed, do your best tomorrow, and even if you mess up or don’t think you did well enough, you will still be loved by millions. I promise.”

He smiles and nods, he grabs your hand from his shoulders and says

“Comon’, let’s go to bed”

Taehyung

Taehyungs drunk stages are -a little extra hyper-, to - yelling alot-, to -wearing his shoes on his hands and telling everybody his deepest darkest secrets-, then waking up and remembering nothing.

In this case during you night out, he had told you some hella weird stuff like him having an ice kink, him having a sex dream about you, and that he likes whipped cream more that anything in the world...

This definitaly scarred you since you see Tae as a brother so you felt like giving him some payback. Since he crashed at your place you knew exactly how. You went into the kitchen and grabbed an ice cube, you walked to the counch where he was sleeping and started to rub the ice cube against his face.

“Mm- Huh?” He opened his eyes and stared at you slightly disturbed.

“Good morning taeee ~” you sing.

“Why the ice cube...” he looked at you suspiciously.

You just stared right back at him smirking.

“Oh no... what more did I say last night...”

Jungkook

Jungkook can sometimes be a bit of a lightweight. Now he can drink beer or wine just fine. But if its mixed drinks or shots, the boy can and will blackout.

“SHOT SHOT SHOT SHOT SHOT SHOT EVERYBOOODY”

“Jungkook it’s 10pm... there’s like 13 people in this club...”

“Comonnnn pleaase just take a shot with me....”

He has already had a beer and three shots and you don’t feel like carrying his unconscious body back to the dorms. You know you would get yelled at by the others since you promised them to take it easy with the maknae. But knowing drunk Kookie, he is not going to let up.

“Fine. I’ll take shots with you right after I use the restroom ok? Wait here.”

He nods happily and starts to do something on his phone. You make sure he is not paying attention and go to the other end on the bar. The other bartender looks at you waiting for your order and you ask him to fill 2 shotglasses with water as you point to Jungkook. He nods and chuckles a little. Probably not his first time getting asked that.

You see him pat Jungkook on the shoulder as he points to something, when he is distracted the bartender replaces the two shot glasses nearest him with the glasses with water. He tells Jungkook nevermind and retreats.

“Ok let’s do this!” You tell him coming back from the “restroom”.

“WOO!” he yells as you clink your glasses together and drink the water.

“Wow I must be drunkk cause that tasted like water!” he says happily and starts to drag you to the dance floor.

“I’ve got a long night ahead of me...”

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ac-ars · 6 years

Text

Oh my, my, my

it’s been 84 years, or even longer, my laptop kept being freezing bitch and didn’t want to work so i had to backup all shit, but it doesn’t matter, im close to failing physics, and idc as well, because this is finally done lol

thanks to people who were telling me i am not shit while writing this ily all

also!!!! pedro used here isn’t the pedro from rollerband please remember this

anyway have fun with physics teacher asshole Matteo here

Oh my, my, my

If you ask Luna Valente what she likes the most in the guy who is teaching her physics, she will not be able to answer. There is no full, logical answer for this question, because Luna simply can’t tell what about Matteo Balsano is the hottest, or more like, hotter than the rest.

She had thought that her college experience was going to be filled with parties her friends make her to go when she wants to stay home, hangovers and headaches, sleeping during boring, morning lectures and a fuck ton of studying. All those things above have been happening so far, ever since she stepped into the building of her faculty, but damn, it’s been three years and now he happened, changing whole studies imagine to the worst and the best thing Luna could have ever made up in her mind.

She has been dreading physics classes for quite long time; in highschool she wasn’t the best when it came to science, but here she is on engineering faculty and physics is kind of inevitable on engineering faculties, isn’t it? So she had to take it anyway.

It was expected that physics is going to kill her in every possible way: tire her, confuse and ruin her, turn her brain into the jelly, yet Luna would never think that the problem wouldn’t be in physics itself.

Currently she is having troubles in physics class because of her ta, who makes her the least and the most focused when he talks. And suddenly his class became Luna’s favorite class ever.

The thing is that he chose her. They have group president, yet he wanted someone who doesn’t talk much, still knows everyone and has no kind of responsibilities on their shoulders, and that’s how Luna turned into his private group post pigeon to share any stuff that needs to be shared.

She has his email in case he is stuck in morning traffic and can’t get to class on time. He uses it to give them notes after any topic and exercises to solve before the tests. It’s mostly because his lazy ass is too lazy to create mail group, but whatever. Why would Luna complain about any extra time or contact with him? She doesn’t have his phone number, and hopes he is never gonna give it to her; it wouldn’t be any good idea, because she would end up texting him something weird and lame like your shirt would look great on the floor in my bedroom after alcohol.

Still, she is doing better than all her friends who are crushing on him, trying to find some ways to seduce him or some shit, yet Luna is really above this all mentality, since she is very self conscious, enough to chill and stop believing in some crazy, hot fantasies, focusing more on what she can see instead. Not on what could someday happen, what she could do to him or with him. Her imagination is all she needs at this point. Besides, Matteo doesn’t seem to be the one to make any move towards any of the students anyway.

Hands. His hands are currently roaming her back with softness, yet quickly because he can’t get enough of her. His eyes are closed finally; he decided to learn her without any help of his sight, using other senses instead and looks like he is going to memorize all of her. His lips. His lips are moving on hers urgently, trying to get as much as possible from her, as if the whole universe is depending on this very kiss they share, but Luna doesn’t mind; she is willing to give him as much as possible.

He is pressing her to his desk with his hips, like he is scared that she is going to run away, but cursed the one who would ever say something like this, because Luna Valente isn’t the one to avoid any chance of getting at least a tiny bit of Matteo Balsano. She pulls away for a second to take single breath, since he doesn’t let her take another, needing more and more. His teeth close on her lower lip making her hiss softly, but he only smirks and moves away before letting her go. His eyes are dark, dark, black, even though she has always been sure of their sweet brown color, and are making her crazier than all of his touches.

Her fingers slide up his arms slowly, trying to feel the shape of his muscles moving when he tries to unclasp her bra from under her blouse. Shivers keep going down her spine since his hands are cold, almost sobering her, yet not quite and every of his movements makes her wake up from this crazy moment, but takes her back at the same time. She reaches his shoulders and his neck before tangling her fingers in his soft, soft hair which she has always wanted to touch, checking if it’s like she imagined all those times before.

He still demands more; his mouth gets hungrier and more careful so Luna just kinda slows down playing with buttons of his shirt. He smiles against her lips, letting her know how much he wants her to keep going and all she can do now is starting to undo the buttons slowly while his mouth ends up on her neck, kissing her skin as properly as he kissed her lips. Her heart is beating too hard for him not to feel it, but nobody here seems to care about it as long as the moment isn’t interrupted by anything. She is letting out small, soft sighs as his lips tickle her skin, his tongue is teasing from time to time and his fingers try to sneak their way under her skirt.

This is all she needs from the world, so, dear stars, if someone is going to ruin this-

“Jesus Christ, Luna, could you please stop eyefucking him finally?” She feels an elbow in her ribs, which makes her jump and very gracefully push her hardcover notebook off the desk to the floor. Obviously, it does make loud thump and now everyone is staring at her, while Pedro is giggling under his breath and she is so going to murder him one day. She just looks at the notebook, not sure what to do something; if do something at all, but of course he has to get into the whole moment.

“Luna, is everything okay?” Matteo asks with his soft, smooth voice that has her shivering in many fantasies and she already feels like melting into small paddle of blushing mess.

But she doesn’t. She gives him small nod, obviously, she has to keep it cool no matter what, despite the fact that she can’t move. Her brain isn’t really helping her in those moments; daydreaming is very, very bad, especially in class when he is real in front of her eyes and all she can do is try to keep her heart beating in any rhythm. He is looking at her with raised eyebrows, kind of amused eyes and small smile. When she doesn’t do any move, hearing Pedro’s snickers obviously, Matteo moves away from his desk and walks slowly towards her, frowning after few steps, and she just wants to disappear in the very moment he picks up her notebook and places it on her desk.

“Are you sure you are fine?” He asks once more and Luna’s head is blank. “Yes, I’m just-”

“She was studying whole night and she is super slow today, so don’t mind her.” Pedro jumps in, grinning completely casually and Matteo sighs. Luna keeps nodding continuously and notices how her friend kicks the chair of girl sitting in front of them and she jumps, exclaiming loudly. “Yes! We were studying together on skype, but I manage lack of sleep better.”

Honestly Luna is kinda thankful for this and she is definitely gonna buy them some alcohol they want, because she had no explanation on her tongue except ‘could you please just stop kissing me in my head?’ and this one doesn’t seem like good idea at all.

“Fine.” The Balsano shrugs. “Just make sure you have notes from today, and start studying earlier, right?”

He winks at her, she dies, Pedro laughs too much and the whatsapp conversation of entire group doesn’t get a break.

This day is basically a mess. Luna managed to oversleep and didn’t have time to brush her hair, so here she is trying to sip the shitty hot chocolate from coffee machine as her high ponytail is tickling her nape. Glasses on her nose are barely keeping in one place and as always she is fixing them with her finger and small growl.

It’s kinda cold today, the sweater is sliding off her shoulder all the time because of her hurrying and putting it too quickly, so it ended up too stretched, but who cares? Is it socially acceptable to not wear a bra? If it’s not that’s a boomer, but she was too much in hurry to care. The only good thing about this morning was the fact that her phone was fully charged and it’s not dying like she is.

They all are waiting in front of chem class, which is gonna start in like 20 minutes, so her friends are talking mostly about random stuff, while Luna only tries to minimize the amount of yawns for an hour to thirty-two. She is scrolling through insta feed, but there is nothing there except kittens and food videos, but this is all she needs at this very moment.

Her ears catch the name Matteo in between the songs and she just looks up at the girls with a smile, reaching for one earphone and taking it away, to listen what they are saying. At first it’s just safe topic, talking about upcoming physics test and Luna is very fine, very comfy with this, so she half gets into the conversation, half focuses on the song played in her other earphone.

Pedro texts her something, asking if she is gonna move her ass to uni and she just snorts texting him to turn around, because he is dumb and blind. Few seconds later she can hear his lame laugh and feel his arm wrapping around her shoulders.

“You are very funny today, tiny you. Tell me, what got you so happy? We aren’t having physics today after all.” He grins and Luna lowkey feels like punching him. Giggles of the girls tell her that they heard that, which means no chill for the Valente today.

Whatever.

“I am not in funny mood. You are the funny one here, Pierre.”

Pedro laughs probably too loud at this version of his name, but no one seems to care. “Are you gonna speak the language of love to me now? Will you finally accept to go out with me, Luna Valente?” He says dramatically, pressing his hands to his chest, over the heart.

Luna opens her mouth to reply, but one of the girls just laughs and shakes her head. “You aren’t half as hot as Matteo, so stop your high hopes here.”

Everyone bursts into laugh, even Luna when Pedro just rests back of his hand on his forehead with dramatic, dramatic sigh. She would focus on the second more, but her phone vibrates with text message. Her brain can manage to handle only one thing at once, so all people are turned off when she answers Simón’s message.

“…Luna, what do you think?” Someone asks and she wakes up, nudged by Pedro once again. “He is hot as hell, right?”

“Who?” She raises her eyebrows, not sure which guy is judged here.

Jazmín rolls her eyes, probably completely done. “Matteo, you silly.”

Luna shakes her head, taking deep breath and ignoring Pedro’s tapping on her shoulder quickly. Despite that she shrugs. “Obviously, people like Matteo, who are so attractive should be kept away from teaching others, because it’s very not helping.” She answers, turning her attention back to her phone and feels how everyone is staring at her weirdly. Their eyes are pointed at behind Luna and her blood suddenly freezes.

“Please don’t tell me he heard that. In any possible way.” She mumbles to herself and turns around, feeling like she got into hell.

Matteo himself looks very amused, and very, very smug. He gives her a small stare before turning to Pedro and giving him a nod. “Good job, buddy. You tried to stop her at least. You are the true friend here.”

Her knees get weak and she feels like falling down, but at the same time she can’t make any of her muscles move and this is the shittiest moment ever, ever.

Matteo crosses his arms, his eyes back to Luna as he sighs. “Looking at your grades I don’t think you should complain that much. Unless, of course, you have someone else to explain what I can’t.” He smiles raising his hands up, as if he is giving up.

“If anyone else has any advice here, just send me an email, I’m always open for new suggestions.” Someone snorts and Matteo laughs fixing his tie. “Anyway-“ he looks at Luna again. “I hope you all have a nice day.” After that he winks at her and leaves, walking through the hallway casually and not looking back.

They look back at her and Luna can’t tell who, but someone pulls her to the chair and gives her water.

Few seconds pass until she manages to speak. “Jesus, fuck, I’m fucked.” Her heart keeps beating too fast as Pedro laughs. “You wish you were, tiny, you wish.”

It’s Friday night and Luna is definitely good at making people think she is drinking as much alcohol as they are. Or maybe they are already drunk. She needs to be drunk. Pedro made her wear pretty dress and go out with them to this one club to chill, forget about the science for once and get some proper hook up, because she has been ridiculous recently. Especially after how she exclaimed loudly that Matteo is probably too hot for her liking. At least her group decided to let her have few days chill and didn’t mention this situation while she was around.

Now she is only sipping slowly her mojito through two straws, playing with the ice in her glass and nodding softly, since her hairstyle is a mess and she’s not the one to fix it right now.

Her lipstick is leaving stains at the straws and Luna sighs deeply, fuck you Kylie Jenner for all your lies. It’s not like she cares about that, but lie is a lie, and it did cost money, so Luna is going to very complain about this, even more after alcohol, so here we are.

Someone tells a joke and everyone laughs, Luna does too, not even knowing what it’s about, though it would be weird if she just stared at them with confused eyes, because she was more concentrated on asking herself what is wrong with her. She should definitely focus on getting drunk with her friends and maybe hit on some hot guy, yet the point is that Luna doesn’t want that. Or more like she does, very much, but not at all at the same time and she is a big mess here, trying to figure what the fuck she should do and how many mojitos to drink. As many as possible; students get discount today.

Pedro rests his elbow on her knee as they all lean towards Jazmín, who seems to be jumping excitedly about something.

“Hey, tiny you, look what she has for you.” Pedro says, poking her and Luna wakes up from all of her thoughts, pressing her lips together to make sure her lipstick isn’t looking like she just made out with a frog.

“What do you want, Peter Pan?” She asks with a sigh, leaning more against him. He only grins. “Our fabulous queen of stalking has news for you.” Luna rolls her eyes and turns to Jazmín who is drinking her margarita with big smile, and all the brunette can notice is the fact that there’s no lipstick stain on her glass and, dear stars, Luna needs it.

“Lu-na, listen, but carefully, okay? Carefully.” No one is sure if that’s the right way to say it, but no one says anything either, so Jazmín jumps on her seat, fixing herself and her eyes are shining showing how tipsy she already is. “I have a friend, she told me that she knows the guy, who knows the guy, who is kinda dating a friend of Matteo and this source told me they like to come here to hang out, so who knows, maybe you will get lucky tonight!”

Everyone laughs and Luna only growls trying to not cover her face with hands, because God protect her from smudged makeup and looking like a very rich badger. She sighs dramatically, and ignoring the straws, empties her glass in completely not ladylike way, because their physics ta is the last thing she needs here.

Pedro laughs at her but gets up pulling her with him and leads towards the bar with intention of getting her another drink. “You know, for a person who fucked him in every possible way in your head, you are pretty embarrassed when someone mentions him.” He snorts softly and Luna sighs dramatically. “It’s because this is, despite everything, very ridiculous idea and you all should stop.”

“But you are so into him!” He exclaims loudly, changing his voice in the half and making Luna laugh. “And he is into you, I’m super sure of this.”

“I don’t care!” She loud-whispers to him. “Just shut up and buy me a drink, please.”

Pedro shakes his head with disapproval. “This mojito is like cheating on normal people who drink normal alcohol, not some fancy wannabe glasses filled with grass and ice. But I guess I won’t win here.”

Luna grins, flicking his nose. “Someone has to know what is happening when you don’t anymore.”

“I hate you.”

She sends him a wink. “That you do.”

He is about to say something, but they both hear someone calling Luna’s name in this very specific way, that just spills who wants her attention.

“Lunita! I see you! Turn around and stop pretending you don’t know who I am.” With every word the voice gets louder and her cousin is either very drunk, or is approaching her and Luna can be never sure which of above is worse.

She decides to turn away from Pedro and not roll her eyes at Ámbar walking towards her on those extra high heels the brunette almost killed herself because of the other day. “Ámbar, it’s such a nice surprise to see you.” She mumbles, kinda lying, kinda not.

It’s actually soothing that someone here is able to kill a person with the spiky heel of a shoe without a blink, no matter of amount of alcohol they drank before. And they are nice to each other since Luna went to college and they can hang out or some shit, even if she is sure her cousin gave her this shitty Kylie lipstick mostly because it sucks.

“Any chance of seeing me is great, obviously.” The blonde flips her hair, spreading around soft scent of her expensive perfume. “You look pretty, tonight, I would be surprised if not the fact I made you buy this dress.” Ámbar smiles a little proudly and wraps her arm around Luna’s waist.

“Take your drink and come with me to the table over there. I wanted to text you tomorrow anyway. Do you want to meet my friends? They are assholes, but I guess they will be nice when they see you in this dress. And I will promise them death if they are mean.” Luna frowns, not sure what to say, but Pedro pushes the glass in her hand and winks at her. “Maybe you will catch some hot one there, just be nice, tiny you.”

Ámbar snorts. “Obviously they are hot. I am not friends with ugly people.” Saying that with huge disgust, she pulls lost Luna away from there, talking something about doing well by drinking classy things in the club and that she should start doing this herself, but vodka is stronger than any of her safety reflexes.

Luna just keeps nodding at her, sipping her drink, since the temperature keeps being high as hell, until they get to the blonde’s table. She looks around forcing her brain to memorize faces until she stops on one and chokes.

What the actual fuck is he doing here out of all people in Buenos Aires and how the hell is he friends with Ámbar?

Luna has bo idea so she just stares at him as he is talking to other guy with curly hair and she has no idea what to do now, because if she thought he was hot in class, now this is breaking all his records at once in this black shirt with few first buttons undone, what obviously sticks her eyes to his skin. She is such a mess because of some guy, and she would feel ridiculous if not the fact her brain is fried.

“Hey, idiots, you wanted to meet Luna and now you act like the least classy guys in the city.” Ámbar growls, resting her hands on her hips and suddenly all stares are on Luna. Matteo’s look catches her eyes.

She drops the glass.

The other guy chuckles getting up immediately while Matteo seems to be as lost as Luna herself, but only for few seconds.

The blonde girl shakes her head dramatically. “Since neither of you all is able to think at this very moment, you-” she points at guy with curly hair, “-will get Luna new drink while we all just sit down and try to make you all speak, because r-i-d-i-c-u-l-o-u-s.”

The guy smirks widely at Matteo. “No, no blondie, he will go, he was supposed to get new vodka after all so it won’t make a difference.”

Luna is just trying to not faint, because here she is in short dress, wearing high heels, very tipsy and apparently the one and only Matteo Balsano is gonna get her something to drink.

He acts completely casually as Ámbar sits down saying whatever, and approaches her as if he has never seen her again - despite the smirk of the other guy, who probably knows, but Ámbar doesn’t.

“What was in the glass you dropped?” He smirks and she pouts, before opening her mouth to answer, but he interrupts leaning closer. “It’s too loud here, just come with me for it to the bar, is it okay?”

Luna can only nod, wondering if she shouldn’t go for clear vodka today, because any sober, any tipsy, any anything will not help her survive this. She is sure of it when he smiles at her and rests his hand on her lower back in order to lead her out of people dancing around. Someone bumps into her and she almost trips over her own leg which goes unfortunately behind the other, yet Matteo manages to catch her with another hand on her waist. He chuckles softly, but says nothing, pulling her behind a little faster and all Luna can do is follow him as if he is her own icebreaker.

She is praying for neither of her friends to see them; she would end up photographed from every angle and definitely interviewed later, hit by questions like did you finally get laid and are ready to move on with your life? Yeah, not gonna happen. Hopefully. For now Matteo is talking to the bartender casually, leaning his elbows on the counter and smiling widely, since the girl is making his drink with dreamy eyes and Luna feels like dropping another mojito.

That’s totally her luck, though it’s not like she had any expectations; the hottest ones are usually assholes and apparently this one ain’t no exception.

She is ready to leave when he pays, but after he does he just turns to her, completely ignoring the bartender. Luna frowns, yet takes the arm he offers her, they walk away and he leans closer to her. “You don’t seem to be glad that I flirted us half price discount.”

She blinks surprised, not sure if to curse at him again in her head, or just ask what, so she nods softly, making him laugh.

“Looks like that’s a thing you should teach me as well.” She mumbles not really stopping herself from throwing this and Matteo laughs. “Am I not too hot for teaching people anything?”

Luna almost chokes, but keeps herself cool to not spill the drink probably either on her dress or on his shirt.

“Okay, okay, it was just a joke,” he says but it doesn’t feel like a joke at all. His hand is suddenly in front of her and she gives him surprised look. “Are we going to the table?” He asks, offering her his hand.

Luna sighs and looks around. If no one comes from the future to stop her from doing it, then how bad this decision can be? She just smiles and laces their fingers surely, seeing him smile.

“I need help.” Luna says, throwing papers on Matteo’s desk. He looks up at her from above his laptop, his glasses sliding softly off the bridge of his nose. She sighs dramatically, trying to focus, because she drank vodka with this guy few days ago, so no big deal. Not at all.

“Help with what?” He asks raising his eyebrows and lacing his fingers on the desk.

Luna pouts and pushes this little annoying strand of her hair behind her ear. “With physics, obviously. I don’t get a shit here, and I want you to explain it to me.” She says super quickly and guesses she should be nice, so she adds soft: “Please, Matteo.”

He takes deep breath, looking around before he reaches for her papers. The brunette keeps her breathing still for a moment, hoping that he is gonna chill his ass and help her or at least tell her where to start.

“Let me think about this.” He hums softly, looking around as if he is deep in thoughts. “When?” The question falls between them and Luna bites on her lower lip.

“I don’t know, but somewhere before Thursday I guess.”

“I have extra time on Fridays as always, can’t you come to me then?”

Luna crosses her arms with dramatic sigh, not sure how to get out of this. “I can’t on Friday. If I could I wouldn’t bother you the here and now.”

He stands up, brushing the chair against the floor loudly and she scrunches her nose as he gets closer to her and leans back against the desk. “Well then why didn’t you come to me last Friday?” He takes the pencil from his desk and starts playing with it. The tone of his voice breaks a little and shows hints of teasing, but Luna is hopeless here; no one really from her friends gets this shit so Matteo was it, yet he seems to make fun of her.

“Because I was busy, listen, I need this and I need you here.”

“Oh so now you need me? We reached this stage faster than I thought we would.” Luna chokes seeing his smirk when he rolls his sleeves up. “I guess I can give you some hints here and explain this or that, but under one condition here.”

Her shoulders fall with relief, because she knows he wouldn’t pull any weird shit here. “Okay, what is it. Tell me.”

Matteo crosses his arms, as always when he feels that he has the advantage. “You will go out with me, okay?”

#soy luna #lutteo #luna valente #matteo balsano #my writing #ta au

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messersmoony · 3 years

Text

Remus lupin- You don’t drink-

Hello I’m sorry I haven’t been on here in a while I just haven’t had many ideas but I came up with this one. Sorry it’s another Remus I just love him so much.

Summary: after James and Lily’s death you find Remus drinking.

Words:

You woke up that morning before flopping back down with a headache. Must have had a bad sleep.

You got up and threw on some clothes that were on the floor.

Last night you had found Remus drinking in his apartment.

———

“Hey Remus do you mind if I come in.” You knocked as you opened the slightly open door to Remus apartment.

Weirdly the door was unlocked and Remus wasn’t one to keep him door open to any strange visitors.

“Remus you in here!” You hollered after you got no response the first time.

You walked into the apartment things were everywhere. Clothes on the floor pillows from the couch string everywhere. You kicked some empty pop cans out of your way as you set down your purse on the sofa looking over to find a very out of it Remus.

“Remus? What are you doing?”

“Drinking my sorrows away.” He said offering you a fake smile before taking another drink of the whiskey he held in his hand.

“You don’t drink Remus. You do sometimes but not like this.” You said taking the bottle of whiskey and putting it on the counter.

You turned back to him but before you could say anything you saw it. The tears that were streaming down his face and you rushed over to him.

You held him in your arms and let him cry.

“Shh Remus it’s alright I know how bad it hurts trust me I know. I miss them too alright.”

“We don’t even have Harry.” Remus sobbed and nestled his head into your shoulder.

“He’s going to be ok we all are we just have to get through this but I’m going to sit here and we are going to cry together and get it all out.”

“I don’t want to make you feel bad just to make me feel better.” Remus slurred as you got up and poured a glass of water offering it to Remus.

“I’m not. You and me were quite the same in the way we ball everything up and then break down one day.”

Remus drank the water as you sat next to him on the couch. He seemed to have gotten a bit better.

You got up to leave a while later to leave him be and let him have his time but he stopped you at the door.

“Y/n...” he whispered.

“Yea.” You said turning back around to face him.

He didn’t say anything he just kissed you and for a long time at that.

“Remus.” You tried to stop him. He didn’t really listen but you didn’t care you didn’t mind him doing it.

———

You looked over at the sleeping Remus bundled in blankets and out on the rest of your clothes. You told him he didn’t know what he wanted when he tried to take you into the room but he assured you he did and it only escalated.

He was drunk and even though he might have wanted it at that second he likely didn’t want it now that he had sobered up. You assumed he probably wouldn’t enjoy waking up to you sleeping next to him so you got up without waking him up and left his apartment and went back to your place.

Remus’ emotions were crazy he didn’t know what he wanted. Both of your emotions were crazy lily and James were just killed it was rough for everyone.

You lived your life like normal hoping that that morning Remus wouldn’t even remember you two sleeping together and chalk it up to you left that night after the kiss and he passed out.

For a couple weeks you went to work as normal and attended to your house like normal. No sign of Remus anywhere near you thankfully and you hoped maybe you would split your separate ways.

Hoped was an overstatement. You loved Remus. You had loved him since Hogwarts seventh year and Remus was your friend. And only your friend. Nothing would happen between you two after the other night and that’s the way you wanted to keep it.

Usually Sirius was your go to person for these issues. But right now he wasn’t nessacarily available considering he was going to spend the rest of his life in Azkaban locked away for crimes he didn’t commit. However you didn’t know that. You assumed the worse that he had betrayed lily and James. You didn’t know any better.

A month after that night you had become sad. You said you didn’t want to see Remus again but the fact he hadn’t come to talk to you after that night made you extremely upset. The fact that he may not have actually remembered anything made you want to crawl into a hole and never come out.

You got up and stormed out of your house to the nearest bar you could find and downed a bunch of beers, whiskey, rum, whatever you could find you drank it. After that you called a cab in your drunken state and returned home to wash down the alcohol you had at the bar with a bottle of whiskey you forgot you had at home.

You drank a few shots before you couldn’t take it any more and ended up vomiting. Although you felt a bit better you couldn’t bring yourself to get up off the bathroom floor and you just laid there letting yourself cry and wallow in your own pity that someone didn’t remember one night with you. It wasn’t a big deal but to you it really was.

You were in such a weird state you didn’t even hear someone knock on the door and whether your home calling out your name.

That was until the bathroom doorknob began to turn. Voldemort may have been considered gone but in habit you pressed your foot against the door holding your breath. In reality if it was a death eater they could have blasted the door down but in your drunken state you weren’t thinking.

You were determined to keep the door closed and not let a sound out of your mouth no matter how scared you might have been. You got up and locked the door removing your foot and crawling backwards against the tub.

“Y/n? Why are you locking me out? Please open the door.” Remus voice came from behind the door but you didn’t register it.

Remus had no choice but to pull out his wand and unlock the door. He slowly opened it peering into the bathroom to find you drunk and scared crying on the floor.

You let out a breath of relief that sounded kind of like oh thank Merlin and Ellet out a sob.

“Why didn’t you let me in? Did you think I was a death eater?”

You had no choice but to nod and Remus scooped you up walking you over to your bed.

“Your drink aren’t you. Why?”

“Drinking my sorrows away.”

“That’s not the truth.” He looked at you as he sat on the edge of the bed.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have slept with you.” You sobbed and his face softened.

“What do you mean?”

“Oh yea sorry you probably don’t remember.” You said forcing a laugh.

“What? Of course I remember I don’t see why you are so regretful.”

“You haven’t talked to me in a month I made a stupid mistake I should have just admitted my feeling for you and we wouldn’t be in this mess.”

“You have feelings for me?”

“Jeez I’m sorry i should have said anything.”

“No im glad you did. I didn’t talk to you for a month because I was still trying to figure out my feelings for you. I have feelings for you too.”

“You do?”

“Yeah.” He said and laid down next to you. “Now go to sleep and we can talk about this while your sober in the morning.

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breeeliss · 7 years

Text

[Femslash February]: Theme Park

this got a touch angsty and im sorry. it ends on a good note tho, i promise

also: the cauldron ride i mention is like the American-version of the teacup rides. y’all know the one.

Day 13: Theme Park (Alyanette + post-reveal)

Words: 2106

Link to Archive of Our Own: [AO3]

[Previous: Aquarium]

Marinette pressed her car keys and two tickets to Parc Asterix in Alya’s hands one morning. “Let’s go on a day trip.”

She’d interrupted Alya while she was in the middle of typing an article she had due in a few days. But Alya grabbed the tickets and flipped them over in her hands to make sure they were real. “You blasted money on these? We haven’t gone to that place in years – ”

“I know!” Marinette shouted. She closed her eyes and breathed through her nose, trying to control her tone. “I-I know I just….I wanna go now, okay? I just. I need to go, and I need you to come with me.”

Alya frowned and pushed Marinette’s hair behind her ears, fingers getting caught in the tangles that Marinette hadn’t combed out in three days. “Okay, um. Let me just save this and get my coat. Then we’ll go, okay?”

Marinette waited in the living room – sans makeup, in old clothes she never liked wearing out the house, hair uncombed and thrown into a bun – while Alya packed them cold lunches and collected her money and credit cards.

The akuma attack ten days ago was one of the scary ones that only ever cropped up a handful of times. The last one was over a year ago, far enough back to lull the city and Ladybug into a false sense of security and make this new one particularly horrifying. Alya wasn’t able to catch all the footage, but the rest of the Internet had filled in the gaps. See, when your wife was flying across the city and battling an akuma that could make objects and people disintegrate with a single touch, you couldn’t help but be filled with excitement and pride, and you feel privileged to even know someone as strong and selfless as that, let alone be married to them.

But when you see her pinned down by that akuma, his hand hovering just above her face, poised to kill and not harm, you get snapped back to a sobering sort of reality that reminds you how much danger she puts herself in everyday.

Apparently, she got away with only a singed cheek since Chat Noir had finally recovered from his injuries in time to save her. All was well in the end, and Alya had sobbed into Adrien’s shoulder that day, thanking him with a level of sincerity she hadn’t thought herself capable of. But Marinette had come home that day, called out of work for a week, left her discarded clothes on the floor of their bedroom, and crawled into bed. It was five days since then, and she hadn’t done much else but stay there.

Alya decided to work from home that whole week to keep her company. Adrien had come over a couple of times, laid next to her in bed, petted her hair, cooked the three of them dinner while Alya tried to get Marinette to eat. Alya spent nights curled around Marinette, muttering lullabies in her ears so that she could try to get some sleep, but nothing worked. Adrien assured her that it was a scary situation, and she just needed time to snap out of it. Alya was willing to give her that time.

But now….they were going to a theme park for the day.

Alya and Marinette used to take trips to Parc Asterix every few months, but the habit fell off as the two of them became busy with work and the need to budget for things more important than theme park rides became much more pressing. It was a short drive from Paris, just under an hour or so, but this time the ride felt much longer. It was probably because Marinette hadn’t bothered to bring the playlists she always brought for the car ride, and because the car was absent of her charming, inane chatter. She was silent, her cheek pressed against the cold window as she looked out at the cars driving alongside them.

Once they arrived and passed off their tickets, Marinette took off straight into the park. They’d been here so many times that they didn’t need a map to find the rides they wanted to, and it didn’t take long for Alya to notice that Marinette was sprinting towards the spinning cauldron ride.

When they were little, Marinette always hated going on it. Marinette couldn’t stand spinning things and Alya would always spin the cauldron too hard and make Marinette sick. But Marinette jumped onto the queue and raced for the first open seat she could fine. Alya slipped in across from her and watched Marinette grip the wheel in the center with alarming force. “Don’t hold back.”

Alya reached forward and grabbed the wheel as well, feeling like this wasn’t the time to be denying her anything. “Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

The ride started, and Marinette put her whole body into turning the wheel. Alya helped pick up the slack until pretty soon their cauldron was spinning more quickly than anyone else’s. Alya could see Marinette’s face turning green, but that only made Marinette yank harder on the wheel to make it go as fast as it could possibly go. The colors and the noises outside the ride were blurring together and swirling more rapidly than even Alya was comfortable with, but they kept the speed going, faster and faster, right up until the ride was jolted to a jarring halt and it was time for them to get off.

Marinette was shaking and breathing hard once it was over, and the two of them had to sprint to the nearest bathroom just in time for Marinette to drop to her knees and throw up in the toilets. The first time they’d gone on this ride together, Alya had accidentally made Marinette sick and they were in a similar situation as this – Alya holding her hair back while Marinette emptied all of her nausea into the toilet bowl. But Alya wasn’t laughing, and Marinette wasn't cursing her existence. Marinette was panting and staring off into space, like she was thinking of going back on again.

Alya helped her up off the floor. “Let’s go fill your stomach with something.”

They went back to the car to eat the sandwiches that Alya brought until the color came back to Marinette’s face and her stomach was settled. When they went back to the rides, Marinette started eyeing the roller coasters and didn’t ask Alya before she started forming the queue.

They were waiting for their turn when Alya grabbed Marinette’s shoulder. “You….sure you want to get on?”

“Yeah,” Marinette mumbled. “I’m in the mood for a good scream.”

The moment they were strapped into their seats and started the ascent to the top of the first drop, Alya reached over and grabbed Marinette’s hand. Marinette grabbed it back in an crushing grip, and the moment the coaster started to drop, they started screaming.

Marinette loved roller coasters. She laughed during the rides and lifted her arms up in the air during the drops. This time her hands were down and she was screaming as loudly as she could manage. Alya joined her, understanding that sometimes, you needed an excuse to scream out all the rot festering in your heart and let it leave your body so that you wouldn’t have to hold onto it anymore. The ride ended, and Marinette had tears in her eyes, and Alya knew they weren’t from fear. Marinette scrambled out of the car, and led Alya to another coaster, and another, and another, and another.

By the time Marinette was out of tears, and her throat was sore, Alya walked her to the other end of the park. “Let’s try the Ferris Wheel, okay?”

The sun was still out, so the queue for the Wheel wasn’t long at all. Alya did some clever pleading with the ride attendant to let them stay on for a few more revolutions than normal. Alya had stayed in the middle of her seat, assuming that Marinette would take the one across from her, but Marinette curled up against Alya’s side, draping her legs across Alya’s lap and wrapping her arms around her middle. It wasn’t until their car was too high up for anyone on the ground to see them that Marinette buried her face in Alya’s shoulder and started crying.

“Somedays I feel like quitting, Al,” Marinette began mumbling. “And I know I won’t actually do it because the city needs me. I can’t be that selfish, it wouldn’t be fair to everyone else. But it’s hard some days and I just don’t want to do it anymore, I just want things to be normal so I can be safe and keep you safe and the two of us can just be happy without anything complicating it.”

Alya smoothed her hair back and rubbed circles into her knee. “I know, babe,” she whispered to her. “I know, just let it all out.”

“And Adrien tries so hard, Alya, I trust him with my life,” she kept on. “I trust him with everything because I know he’d never let anything happen to me. He’d die before he let anything happen to me, but he’s not perfect. He makes mistakes like me, and he almost didn’t make it that time. And it’s not his fault, it’s never his fault, but for a second I just kept thinking that I wasn’t going to get out of it, and that I was going to let everyone down.”

“You never have to worry about letting anyone down, Mari.” Alya was pressing kisses into the crown of her head in between sentences. “You have given all of us more than we deserve, all for nothing in return. You’re allowed to be selfish, and you’re allowed to be scared.”

“I don’t want to leave you alone,” Marinette sniffed. “I never want to leave you, you’re one of the most important things I have. I never want to leave you alone.”

“And you’re not going to,” Alya assured, holding her closer to her side. “I know your job gets scary, and I know that I can’t even begin to understand the danger you put yourself in. But I trust you. I trust you and I trust Adrien. You two always come out of it in the end. You’re here and safe with me because you always come out of it in the end.”

Marinette gripped her shirt tighter and breathed in shakily against her neck while Alya let her cry. “You’re safe, babe. You’re here, and you’re with me, and we’re safe, and everything’s fine.”

They stayed on the Wheel until Marinette stopped crying and her eyes didn’t look quite so puffy. They cycled through some of the carnival games and went on a few more rides, just to use up the tickets they’d already bought. Marinette was still quiet through most of the day, but Alya caught her smiling during one of the shooting games they were playing and heard her laughing on the last free fall ride they’d gone on.

When they went back to the car park to go home for the evening, Marinette held Alya’s hand that wasn’t busy with the steering wheel. She cycled through her phone and actually plugged in one of the old road trip playlists she used to play whenever they went on long drives. Marinette leaned back into her seat, and breathed in the crisp evening air floating in through the open windows. “Thanks for coming with me. Sorry for….well. I feel a lot better now.”

Alya lifted Marinette’s hand and pressed a kiss to the wedding band on her finger. “I’d do anything for you. You know that.”

Marinette woke up the next morning, showered, loaded her laundry, and hummed along to the radio while she cooked breakfast for the two of them. She called her office and let them know she would be back to normal on Monday, and rattled to Alya about all the projects she was going to try and blast out tonight, no matter how unrealistic it seemed.

Alya smiled at her fondly as she listened on, watching the brightness come back to Marinette’s eyes and laughing at her gesticulations that almost made her knock her mug of coffee over.

Marinette had small cracks and fissures like everyone else, and knowing that she was Ladybug made them all the more obvious to Alya. But Marinette filled them with smiles, singing, hugs, kisses, and more warmth and beauty that Alya thought was even capable from another person.

And Alya loved her with all her heart for it.

#miraculous ladybug #alyanette #alya cesaire #marinette dupain-cheng #alyanette fanfiction #miraculous ladybug fanfiction #my writing #femslash february 2017 #femslash february alyanette edition #theme park

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backfist · 7 years

Note

1-104 d:

going to compress this for the people on mobile

1. You woke up naked next to the last person you texted, what would you say?

“how in the world did i end up in texas? also what’s good you hungry?” @littytittymanda

2. What’s going on between you and the last person you kissed?

we haven’t talked too much recently, she’s busy with school as am i

3. If your boyfriend or girlfriend was into drugs, would you care?

depends on the drug, and depends on how it affects them. but i care about them regardless so yes.

4. Is your last name longer than six letters?

way too long yes

5. Was your last kiss drunk or sober?

sober

6. Have you ever wanted to have someone but you messed it up?

too many times

7. What does your last received text say?

“how evil” about this ask, also from @littytittymanda

8. How many times have you kissed the last person you kissed?

a lot actually lol, good hundred or 2 at least

9. Where was your last kiss at?

in a car behind a sushi restaraunt

10. When is the last time you saw your sister?

when im an only child

11. What do you drink in the morning?

hella water, so much water

12. Where did you sleep last night?

in my bed

13. Do you think relationships are hard?

they dont have to be!

14. If you could go back and change something in the past 5 months, would you?

oh a few things, definitely. school wise, people wise, etc.

15. You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, any problems?

not really, we would just talk about life

16. Would you rather it be sunny or rainy?

rain! my favourite!!

17. Do you know anyone with the same middle name as you?

i dont think so? at least off the top of the dome

18. Are you wearing jeans,sweatpants,or pajama pants?

none ;D

19. Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 years from now?

i could see it

20. Does anyone like you?

seems like they do!

21. Have you ever kissed someone with a name that starts with an S?

yes indeed, 2 people

22. Is the last person you kissed gay?

i dont think she is

23. Is there a person you CANNOT stand?

indeed! ugh, i wish it wasnt that way

24. Have you ever considered getting a tattoo?

considered, yes, but unsure about the importance of it later in life

25. In the past week have you cried?

yes once

26. What breed was the last dog you saw?

MY CHIHUAHUA

27. Do you dry off in the shower or out of the shower?

in the shower of course?? why would you do it out?

28. Have you ever kissed a football player?

if you count powderpuff games lmao, but no

29. Do you think you’re old?

not relatively but this is the oldest ive ever been so

30. Do you like text messaging?

yeah, its fun

31. What type of day are you having?

decent is the best word, nothing TOO big

32. Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced?

no, never!

33. Do you prefer warm or cold weather?

cold over warm is where i like to be, a mild 50 is perfect

34. Is there a person of the opposite sex who means a lot to you?

of course.

35. Would you prefer a relationship or a fling?

right now a fling because why not? but i definitely want a relationship in the future

36. Are you a simple or complicated person?

i would say simple on the outside, but complex at least to myself

37. What song are you listening to?

right now..nothing, but the commentary of the Raptors vs Bucks game

38. When you say you’re sorry do you mean it?

always. i hate being the cause of someone’s pain or anger.

39. Is there a girl that knows everything or almost everything about you?

@say-tonic

40. What made you start liking the person you like now?

i like a lot of people, and they’re all great

41. When did you last receive a text message?

just this instant

42. What is wrong with you right now?

eh who knows

43. How well do you know the last female you texted?

decently? we only started talking a few weeks ago, so not much time but a good time

44. Does anyone disgust you?

LOL yes

45. Would you date someone right now if they asked?

no, not right now

46. Are you in a good mood right now?

id say so yes! (:

47. Who was the last person you talked to in person?

my buddy Chuck from work

48. What color shirt are you wearing?

im...not? there’s a pattern here

49. Has someone recently told you something you didn’t want to hear?

UH yeah, nothing too harsh though

50. Anyone you’re giving up on?

sadly. a friend that has given up on trying to be successful in life.

51. Do you hate the person you fell hardest for?

not at all.

52. Have you ever thought about giving up on someone but couldn’t?

YES YES THIS IS A MISTAKEWEED NEGATIVITY OUT

53. Do you like rain?

UH ITS MY FAV BRING ME THE RAIN DAY AND NIGHT EVERY DAY

54. Do you care if your boyfriend/girlfriend drinks?

not particularly, unless if becomes a problem

55. Have you ever liked somebody and never told them?

AHAHAHA YES YES

56. Do you like to cuddle?

WHO DOESNT ARE YOU SERIOUS

57. Are you shy?

somewhat, more introverted but im a lot more open with people i feel comfortable with

58. Do you get along with girls?

id say so. i feel like i’m a very respectful person overall and that goes a long way

59. Have you dated the person you texted last?

nope lol

60. What do you carry with you at all times?

my phone and wallet and keys

61. If you were paid 1 million dollars to spend the night in a supposed haunted house, would you?

i will spend a month in there give me a flashlight and some food

62. Do you think you can last in a relationship for five months?

i CAN but will i? thats the question

63. Think back to October, were you in a relationship?

no no

64. The person you like kisses you on the forehead, do you find this cute?

hella

65. Did anything “cute” happen in the last week?

not really from what i can remember! oh well lmao

66. How old are the last three people you kissed?

wow 3? gotta think about this one hmm.

22 / 24 / 22

67. Would you rather pay to get your nails done or do them yourself?

shoot im paying, need an expert

68. Which do you like better- Zebra print or leopard print?

both gaudy, but zebra

69. Do you have any stickers on your car?

i dont have my own car!!!!! :(

70. Would you rather listen to Luke Bryan or Lil Wayne?

i hate country so by default lil wayne

71. Blackberry, Anroid, or iPhone?

ANDROID 5000

72. When’s the last time you had pizza from Pizza Hut?

wow at least like..5/6 years ago. pizza hut is overrated

73. Do you like diet soda?

bad soda bad yuck

74. What color are the walls in your room?

beige

75. Are you 16 or older?

NAH SON IM 11

76. Do you watch Pretty Little Liars?

watched it once, was decent, dont think id watch again

77. Do you have a job?

heck yeah! get the money

78. What are your initials?

J D K

79. Did you ever have braces?

you said i got gum stuck in them all the time? heck yeah

80. Are you from the south?

no im from M I C H I G A N

81. What does your last status on facebook say?

“PC Gamers; what steam games do you reccommend?”

82. Do you still talk to the first person you ever kissed?

heck yeah! we’re cool (:

83. Are you closer to your mom or your dad?

mom 100000 percent

84. Have you ever done cheerleading or gymnastics?

gymnastics when i was just a BABY BOY

85. What’s the last movie you saw in theaters?

oh gosh uh..that would have to have been..not the current one, but the last Fast and Furious movie

86. Do you smoke?

not about it!

87. Would you rather wear heels or flip flops?

FLIP MY FLOP

88. Is your phone touch screen?

HECK YEAH I LOV IT

89. Do you normally wear your hair straight or curly?

straight because it’s so damn shorty

90. Have you ever snuck out of your house?

almost impossible, i live on the second floor

91. Would you rather swim in a river, lake, or pool?

POOLNEVER IN LAKE OR RIVERS I CANT NOPE

92. Have you ever made out in a car?

you betcha, it was pretty great

93. …Had sex in a car?

lol haven’t had sex

94. Are you single or in a relationship?

single

95. What were you doing last night at midnight?

talking to a friend and on here DUH

96. When’s the last time you saw fireworks?

4th of july last year i think

97. Do you like the camera on your phone?

its pretty good! i take too many selfies to end up deleting them

98. Have you ever had a friend with benefits?

kind of, yeah. an ex that was a best friend that becamne that, and then back to being good friends

99. Have you ever passed out from drinking?

LMAO no i’ve only drank twice

100. Are you friends with people on facebook that you actually hate?

i dont think so? that’s pointless

101. Have you ever had a pregnancy scare?

L M A O NOPE I WOULDNT KNOW WHAT TO DO

102. Name your favorite Kesha song:

the acoustic version of Die Young

103. Do you have any tan lines right now?

hasn’t been sunny enough so no!

104. Would you ever wear cowboy boots with shorts?

LMAO WHY NOT CALL ME THE SHERIFF

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ammanujuju · 7 years

Text

260617

dear diary,

oh my what a day yesterday was.

the party i talked about wasn’t as good as i thought it was gonna be. when we arrived there were only a few people there. it was kinda awkward, especially since my friends are super awkward. i tried to make the mood a bit lighter, but of course it didn’t work. we sat down by the table, and sat there for a few hours. it got better as more people arrived, but the one who was controlled the music obviously hadn’t done it before, as no one knew what song was playing. oh, and K’s big brother was there, and to make it worse he was hitting on me, AGAIN. he’s done it before, and i rejected him then as i did now. earlier i didn’t want to just because i’m scared and not comfortable with myself, and because i’m not interested lmao, but now i didn’t want to because of K, and the other reasons i just mentioned.

well, and because a guy started puking all over the floor in the middle of the party, most of us decided to leave. i mean it was smelling awful, even after the host had managed to clean it up, so no one dared to go back inside. we all went outside, and since I knew Kai and his friend was driving I asked him if he could drive us to another party. but then out of nowhere Erica’s friend stopped right next to us, and he told us he could drive us. i told Kai we didn’t need a driver anyways.

we arrived the party and oh my the awkward air. no one had been drinking expect for a few, including me, so everyone was just sitting there like nothing. sofia told me she could host if we found a driver, and i was up for that since the party was too awkward for me to handle. i asked Kai if he could drive us, and i felt sooo bad becuase it was the third time i had asked. he said they only had room for two people, and since the police were out they didn’t dare to take any more with them. we were like seven people, and i told Sofia i would like to be one of the first to go driving because i didn’t have my jacket with me (and it was like 4 celcius degrees out and i only had my t shirt on me), my phone was dead and since i was getting sober my head was hurting. she said it was alright, and the second i was about to sit in the car, another friend Cristina, said she needed to go before me because her motorcycle was at Sofia’s and she had to go home. of course i couldn’t deny her that, so i let her. if i only knew that it would lead to me, sitting outside waiting for Kai, for 40 minutes straight i would have said no. i could literally feel the cold in my bones, and when i tried to get inside the house the host said his dad was home so he couldn’t let me in. my friend Jennifer had my jacket and it really felt like i was freezing to death.

Kai finally arrived after 40 minutes, and i was almost crying when i sat in the car. my friend Alice felt so bad for me, but there wasn’t much she could do. i had to apologize to Kai because i had changed my mind so much that night, and to be honest he didn’t look really happy. i felt so bad. i was so cold my whole body was shaking, and when Kai noticed it he said “but why didn’t you say you were only in a t shirt??? now i feel bad” and he held my arms, trying to get some warmth in them. that made me feel a bit bettter.

when we arrived to sofia, my headahce had gotten worse. i usually don’t feel bad that fast, but i don’t know the bad parties that night didn’t help at all. when i arrived inside the livingroom, my eyes widened at the sight of me and sofia’s ex. yep, we have the same ex. let’s call him Karl. i remember the night me and Karl connected, it would probably be one of the best nights of my life, if i still liked him. we were like that for about five weeks, until he sent me a snapchat of him in the same bed as sofia. sofia and i weren’t friends then, but damn i hated her. since i feel everything really intense, i was still in love with him, and i hated sofia with burning passion. after a few weeks, sofia saw me at a party and ran to me crying, asking if Karl ever had been mean to me. i had no idea what had happened, and why she even talked to me. i later found out that Karl had tried to have sex with her, but since she’s not comfortable with herself she said no, and he then blocked her on every social media and cut all contact with her. i didn’t really care, but i later realized if it had been me, i’d probably so heart broken that i probably would still be crushed. so i basically dodged a bullet, and on my birthday in february i asked her if we could talk. we sat in the bathroom, talked for about an hour about how sorry she was for what she did, and i told her it was okay. we’re really good friends now.

anyways, i saw him there and my face was basically a question mark. i decided not to think about it, so i sat next to Cristina, who still hadn’t gone home because of issuses with her motorcycle. she’s the quiet type, so i enjoyed actually sitting next to her. she’s someone you can just sit around quiet, because she’s not awkward at all, and my headahce was killing me and i just needed to be left alone for a few seconds.

sofia sat next to me and gave me pain killers. we then talked abit before she said “don’t get mad at me, i have to show you something” she showed that she and Karl had a yellow heart on snapchat (#1 best friends for both) and that they had talked for a few weeks. i mean i don’t really care so why should i be mad, but i was just surprised since he hurt both of us really bad, like why would she, unless she still had deep inside some feelings for him?

Kai brought me my cigarettes before i started drinking, and so i had my precious cigarettes with me in my back pocket. it was annoying to see people noticing it and then literally begging on their knees for one cigarette. so because of that, of course Karl ran over to me, hugged me without my permission and said “i heard you had a cigarette, could i please get one?” like bitch no, i haven’t given anyone else one, who do you think you are to actually get one??

when the clock was about 4am, i sent a snapchat to Kai and asked if he was still driving, and he was going to sofia for a bit but he could take me with him when he was leaving. when Kai arrived he and a friend started to bicker, and i think Kai noticed how uncomfortable I was so he said that he was gonna leave and take me with him, which was kinda cute.¨

earlier that night, Kai had sent me a snapchat asking if he could crash at my place, and i told him yes. Erica’s parents were picking her up at 9am so I was gonna stay up all night anyways. Kai first dropped me off at my place, he was gonna arrive later sometime. i got changed, made some pizza and took my painkillers and then suddenly it felt like this night probably wasn’t as bad as i thought.

Kai arrived later, and he was cuddled up to my legs as he watched a random ass childhood show of his he suddenly thought of and just had to watch. then he got all worlds energy inside of his body and started running around the house like crazy, which was tiring since he also chased after me.

kai left at 10am, and i had already been up about 27 hours. my mom was arriving later that day, so i started cleaning the house. i wasn’t finished until 1pm, and i went straight to bed and i did not wake up until five hours ago. i literally slept for 14 hours, i think it speaks for itself.

now i am just laying in bed, considering to make myself some food. i haven’t eaten in days. i considered yesterday, but i was gonna sleep all day anyways so why would i eat lmao?

now that my mom has arrived home i doubt that kai and i will hang out as much as we did. we could if i went to his place, but he never asks and im too introverted to ask lmfao.

so this was my night, messy as fuck but it ended alright.

by the way, i found this really nice quote which i have to share it with you. i think i’m going to end every post with a quote i like.

you built a cast around your broken heart and signed it yourself. you signed it “they were wrong”

#260617 #diary #quotes #party

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