#Like it's good in some ways because it gives me (an aroace person) space to headcanon her as aroace sometimes | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

curseofdelos · 1 month

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irritates me to no end that the only confirmation we have that Reyna is alloace is a random quote tweet that has since been deleted

#word of god confirmations are tenuously canon at best #since it's very easy to read the books and never find out that she's canonically ace at all #(I legit thought she was canonically aro until recently because that's how I interpreted her I had no idea she was written to be allo)#especially since the way that whole scene was written makes it sound like she's choosing to be single #rather than lack of attraction being a meaningful part of her identity #Like it's good in some ways because it gives me (an aroace person) space to headcanon her as aroace sometimes #but on the other hand it gives people space to disregard her asexuality entirely and that. sucks to see :/#(not that in-text confirmation would stop some people)#(you don't even want to know which female character I saw someone ship with Nico recently)#anyway. wish her identity was explicitly stated in the books so we could have irrefutable evidence that she's ace

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hazbinhotelie · 1 month

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I need to work on a list of headcanons for Alastor in general, hold on

-HOOVES (confirmed)

-Tail and fluff (unconfirmed :()

-Deer noises (slightly confirmed? With Rosie)

-Is a very snuggly person but in the sense that he can invade other people’s space when he wants, but no one can touch him without permission (this might be canon, I haven’t checked)

-No Touch Days! Where he doesn’t want to be touched at all, and honestly, that’s relatable.

-When I’m making him as show-accurate as possible, he’d be sex repulsed.

-otherwise I’ll be sticking labels on him like little stickers, swapping them around for situations as needed. In one fic he’s ace, in another, he’s aroace, it’s all fiction you can’t stop me >:)

-This asshole is a virgin who definitely platonically married Rosie for tax benefits

-His radio static can interfere with Vox’s signals (which leads to so much potential for trolling, but also angst if it’s possible to manipulate Vox’s perceptions of things)

-Zestial helped him sew his mouth shut/into that near-permanent smile (or taught him some of what he knows)

-He hates Valentino for many reasons, his treatment of women (and people in general tbh) being a big part of it, but also that whole love potion thing he did with Velvette. And of course, his preexisting hatred for Vox and their affiliation with him probably plays into it

-I don’t think he hates Vox. Even their rivalry is one sided lmao.

-I think they had a falling out and it was bitter for a time, but Alastor has gotten over it. Now he’s just trolling Vox because it’s what he does to everyone.

-he has a little ace ring on his finger that Rosie gifted him

-he can’t actually play piano, but he is a good dancer and can obviously sing well

-he keeps up to date on the latest music and news (and vaguely knows of tech, he just doesn’t care for it)

-he has tea sessions with Rosie specifically dedicated to learning slang

-the two points above this are specifically for his radio show, because I headcanon it’s not all just screams, he’s got some actual segments in there. Especially considering he used it to diss Vox in Stayed Gone and nobody was surprised

-Under different circumstances, he would have definitely adopted Velvette on sight. (Keep in mind for AUs)

-his antlers are sensitive, that’s why he usually keeps them so short (instead of having them big, like in his full demon form)

-His ears are also sensitive! And soft. Don’t touch them, or you’ll die.

-he gives both the best and worst relationship advice, depending on who’s asking and when.

-He doesn’t like sweet things very much, but he’ll eat it when necessary (to make his friends happy. He won’t admit it)

-He eats raw meat like an absolute menace, but he is a good cook.

-he’s very particular about the way the kitchen is organized, no one else is allowed in lest they mess it up. No one is allowed to Interrupt his cooking, but they may offer to help clean up the dishes afterwards.

-he hums old tunes when cooking (or doing anything really) and his radio static accompanies him at all times, it’s just a matter of how loud or quiet it is. Usually people don’t notice it because it’s so quiet.

-The static changes volume, frequency, etc. depending on his mood, a key indicator when he’s pissed off or joking or not.

#alastor the radio demon #hazbin alastor #hazbin hotel alastor #alastor hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel #alastor #headcanon #alastor headcanons #the radio demon

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innitmarvellous · 2 months

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So I read some books about aro & ace identities recently, because while I am quite sure that I'm ace and probably even aroace, I'm still struggling a lot with the ramifications of this discovery about myself, even though I first noticed this about myself a few years ago.

That's why I tried to make myself feel better by reading these books in the hope that it might be helpful in any way...and that's also why I took some notes about things that always bugged me in some way, both while reading the books and before that. (I'm not done with the books, but I already noticed enough recurring issues for a whole post.)

First, I really would like to feel at least sort of good about it. It doesn't have to be pride, just some sense of it being alright. I know that's not a prerequisite, but I don't want to feel unhappy and uneasy all the time just because of my identity :/

And there are some things I like about it. For example, having found a name and explanation for whatever is going on with me was undoubtedly nice, and I like the fact that the community seems to be very open to people identifying as ace or aro no matter where they exactly are on the spectrum. Well, there are always the exclusionists, but that's technically the consensus and I like that.

Still, there is this unpleasant feeling that doesn't seem to go away. The fact that there is something I will never understand and never experience - despite desperately wanting to. I guess that is the problem if something just isn't there, and that's just so hard to accept. Like, other people also might struggle with their orientation, but at least they do have the option to find someone who feels the same and will enter a relationship with them - while this is entirely impossible for me. And I think that's where I struggle the most, honestly. Knowing that there is no way to get the thing I want with my logical mind, because my feelings won't allow me to - and thus people on the outside won't consider me as 'relationship material' in any form since I'm lacking something crucial. And yes, I entirely understand that this would make people avoid me when it comes to relationships. After all I could never give them the thing they would expect from a relationship and it would be unfair towards them if I entered a relationship while being unable to do so. But it really doesn't make it hurt any less, and it definitely doesn't make me feel good about myself. There is something missing about me, that's just an undeniable fact and it reduces my worth in the eyes of others. Is that fair? Maybe not - I can't say, as I can't see things from their perspective - but it just is how things are. But it is very, very hard to accept.

Oh, and there is another thing that keeps being mentioned: namely that relationships without sex or of course also even fully platonic relationships are possible. But honestly? That doesn't really comfort me at all :') Because...I wasn't even nice and attractive (in both a physical and personality sense) - and whatever else - enough for a "normal" relationship, so it feels downright illusory to tell myself that someone will accept me despite my "defects" (if that's what I'll call them in this context, since that would be an allo person's view in most cases, I assume) and agree to have whatever kind of deeper relationship with me. That sounds like such a nice dream, and yet that's all it is and will remain: a dream. It's simply impossible, and that just feels bad. Because I would want to have closer connections to people, but I can't. Idk, but that is a bit cruel, especially as it isn't exactly my fault because of a choice I made.

I also feel kind of uncomfortable identifying myself as queer or part of the LGBTQIA+ community. I'd like to, but idk, I fear I wouldn't really be welcome in most queer spaces since I used to think I was heterosexual before I came across the terms ace and aro. Also, I was never oppressed due to my identity and had technically no trouble to pass as more or less some kind of straight allo late bloomer, so idk... And well, I see why my constant talking about some fictional/celeb mancrush I've got might make people think that I'm a liar and just pretend to be aro or ace for attention or other reasons. In fact, the exact same thing happened to me when a guy fell in love with me and I was forced to tell him about probably being ace. He didn't believe it because "I was always crushing on anime guys" and basically accused me of deliberately leading him on and it wasn't pleasant :/ (But I can't help it...I mean, a celeb crush doesn't require me to act on anything! I just find a guy attractive in whatever shape or form and it makes me happy to have my silly little daydreams about him and whatever. But it doesn't necessarily mean I graphically dream of fucking him, despite what I might jokingly say.) Anyway, I think it would be useful if I could confidently use the term queer for myself because idk, it would make things easier. As in, I'm definitely not "normal" aka not the standard straight cis person I once believed to be, but yeah...I still doubt that I would be allowed to call myself queer. I'm too different to be considered normal and too normal to be considered queer, I guess. So I'm sure people wouldn't be too happy about me pushing into their communities. Falling between the chairs again :')

Maybe all of my doubts and all that stuff...it's not so surprising, though. I mean, I kind of assume that most people wouldn't be too happy at the prospect of lifelong solitude and loneliness, without any chance to form deeper bonds with other people. Or maybe it's just me, who knows. It definitely scares the hell out of me and I hate it so, so much. And well, that makes it so difficult to make peace with this annoying sexual/romantic orientation of mine. (I would change it if I could...but alas we all know that's impossible.) I don't know what I exactly expected, but I surely didn't sign up to a rather sad lonely life of unhappiness and yet that is exactly what I will get :/ Another thing that is very hard to accept, and I genuinely wonder how other people managed to deal with that... I know accepting it and facing that truth is the only possible way, but yeah...I still can't bring myself to feel good about this. I mean, I've been lonely for my entire life, so I don't know...maybe I just hoped this would change at some point in the future and finding out that this will never happen now is kind of soul-crushing, honestly.

Lastly, I know that this is mostly a lengthy and overly personal rant post, so maybe no one has even read until here. But if someone did and feels like commenting, then I would really appreciate that, because...I still don't really feel fully enlightened on how I'm supposed to feel now. Maybe talking to actual people would help, but who knows. Again, I'd appreciate it if anyone wants to share their thoughts (my DMs are also open btw), although I'm aware that a random Tumblr post probably isn't the best way to solve my problem. ^^

#aspec #aroace #acespec #arospec #asexuality #aromanticism #asexual #lgbtqia #queer #(idk i just tag it as such now 💦)#i'm sorry that this isn't a very cheerful/joyful post but idk just felt i had to put some things into words...

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sketching-shark · 4 months

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niuhou for ship opinions?

Aroace Sun Wukong truther though I am, in all honesty anon the niuhou ship is one of my favorites in the jttw fandom <3.

It's true that in Xiyouji itself we don't get a super in-depth amount of space dedicated to the details of their relationship when they were sworn brothers, but there is a real sense that they genuinely liked AND respected each other. And that's a feeling that's really increased when we see their reunion later on during the journey, when even with an absence of over 500 years and a lot of reasons for antagonism for the both of them (the Demon Bull King wants to eat Tang Sanzang & otherwise hinder Sun Wukong's journey, Sun Wukong played a major role in getting Red Boy captured by the Bodhisattva Guanyin & caused Princess Iron Fan a lot of physical pain), both spend quite a few pages dancing around whether they're going to attack the other because of their former strong bond until things irrevocably crumble. Wu Cheng'en even dedicates an entire poem to how tragic this break-up is (and how epic the resulting fight was lol).

But probably best of all for me is that this is one of those ships where both characters really get to shine through as their own individual people with rich stories. When you look at other ships involving the Monkey King (especially the tons of movies with a SWK romance) it tends to be the case where the romantic partner in question seems to revolve their entire life and personality around old Monkey in one way or another, usually with a heavy dose of "being eternally patient & forgiving no matter how much shit he gives them" and also ending with the fate of them dying so that he can be sad/having to Learn a Lesson. So yeah said "romantic partners" often feel more like hollow shells or desperate obsessives than full people.

Which to put it academically sucks major balls.

With Niuhou, however, that's not the case at all! Obviously a good chunk of Xiyouji is dedicated to Sun Wukong's character and his multitude of complexities and development, but even in the few chapters we see him the Demon Bull King really stands out as one of the yaoguai kings who had a very active life after the Mt. Huaguoshan war with heaven, doing everything from gathering wealth, allies, power, and friends to getting married and having a child that he very much loves to then having a falling out with Princess Iron Fan because he took on a concubine with Princess Jade Countenance. He's also described as being just as powerful as the Monkey King (while also being stockier), and his rage really is something that can shake the Heavens! It all makes for a very involved part of the journey, ranging from Sun Wukong and numerous gods having to go to battle against a colossal Niu Mowang to the Demon Bull King calling time-out on a preliminary fight because he wanted to go party with some of his dragon friends.

And as a final bonus this is also one of those rare ships involving the Monkey King where he's actually very obviously invested in maintaining it, from being his active and ambitious social self as a warlord to trying every which way to get what he needs from the Demon Bull King to continue the journey while still maintaining his bond with Niu Mowang. And while it does end in tragedy, you do have the delight of thee Monkey King approaching the situation like "PLEASE bestie my beautiful princess with a disorder PLEASE remember what we mean to each other!!!" And then the Demon Bull King being like "me remembering that is the only reason why I haven't killed you where you stand."

#xiyouji #jttw #journey to the west #sun wukong #monkey king #demon bull king #niu mowang #niuhou #for never was there a story of more woe #than that of this fuckin bull and monkey #anyway #main point being that it's nice to see a swk ship where both of them get to be assholes with layers lol #anon answered

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bogkeep · 2 years

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lounges across a chair with a cup of tea. you know, i could do a little bit of aroblogging. for old time's sake. for new time's sake? 'cause there's a thought i've been rotating for a bit, something i've been wanting to knit into a piece of poetry - maybe some day, just not today. it's something i've not seen discussed very much, or at all, really - probably because i haven't been looking in the right spaces, or looking at all. probably because it's going to make me sound kind of pretentious or arrogant, but i'm used to that, so: it's just - the strangeness of being an aroace person people keep falling in love with. i think "kind of person people keep falling in love with" is just something that happens if you're a person who's comfortable with yourself, or when you have a lot of interpersonal relationships, or if you just share much of yourself with other people. just, having contact with people around you in some way. feelings happen when they have the opportunity to grow! i don't know how it works! but i've been that person, at least a little bit, you know? it kind of happened as i grew older and grew into myself. it was very confusing, too, because like okay, i like myself, but i'm not necessarily expecing others to like me, it's great when they do but i wasn't banking on it! what!!!! it's very sweet and all but it also means - facing the conundrum: do i Want this, or do i just Want to Want it, or am i just Curious about what it would mean to Have it? i've Tried, and i still don't know. personally, i'm glad for having tried, because otherwise i'd be asking myself for the rest of my life what it would be like to Try, and that's a me thing. i'm not immune to the yearning! you'd think being aroace would make you immune to the Yearning. i want my money back? it also means - that no, i'm not aroace "because i can't get some," i promise, but it's not an argument i should have to make in the first place. it's such a strange spiral of an accusation, because in the world i live in there's nothing shameful about being single or a virgin regardless of orientation. to me it's a relief to not have to have sex with another person, but apparently i live in a society and in that society that's such a fundamentally alien notion i'm impossible to relate to. sorry about that.

it also means - i have to be the person who rejects people, and there's always so many stories about being the person who gets rejected, and there's mountains of sad songs and sympathy for being the Rejected One, the Lonely One, and of course, learning to handle rejection with grace is an important, painful thing. never got many saturday morning cartoon lessons in how to reject, though. not just in romantic pursuits, but in general. always running the treadmill of the scarcity mindset and You Must Never Hurt Anyone For Good Reason and there i was, crying my eyes out at my childhood friend's trampoline in the sunset telling him i'm sorry i can't love him back that way, and there i am, replying to the kindest social media DMs with i'm sorry i can't be your friend but it's not something i can force - i know it hurts, and who would we be if it didn't hurt, and if i didn't hurt you i would have to be the one to carry the pain. it's hard to make relatable, i guess? always the fucking relatability! i know a lot of people can't Relate. because we're young and lonely and yearning and starved, because we're social animals, even if we're fiercely independent or enjoy the solitude. not to make assumptions! i know we're all different and want different things from life! but there's not a lot of frameworks for how to fill our cups when every beverage we're offered is the wrong flavor. i know coke makes my teeth feel weird but there's so, so many commercials for it, and it looks tasty in all of them, and i haven't had a drink in forever, how do i not crave it? i'll still show up to the party asking for a water and everyone is gonna give me the weird looks. am i sure? am i sure? i'm tired of feeling like a wrecking ball, i say. uhhh okay idk what that is about, they'll say, but water? that's a little boring, isn't it? we have so much soda, though. there's coke, coke, and vanilla coke. just tap water, please and thank you. hope i don't ruin your party.

#the metaphor got away from me a bit #is there a coherent thesis? fuck if i know #too long for twitter #aroace tag #i know the food/drink metaphors are tiring but as a person who doesnt drink alcohol nor coffee. it just. happens So Much #scandinavians get weird when you dont drink coffee.

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bluue-god · 5 months

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☆ ｡･::･ﾟ★,｡･::･ﾟ☆ 🌊 ☆｡･::･ﾟ★,｡･::･ﾟ☆

My official introduction!

[General infos]

♤- Gemma here!

♤- I'm Agender Demiboy, I use all pronouns.

♤- Aroace 💚💜 [I'm an Asexual grossed out by sex, so mind that. I'm also a romance neutral Aromantic.]

♤- Capricorn ♑

♤- anything sea, space or just blue themed are my weakness.

♤- I'm also into vampires and sea creatures and folklore! I'd love to learn more!!

♤- I'm all about OCS. I have lots of them and I LOVE talking and sharing about them!

♤- OC X CANON.

♤- Any DIASOMNIA X DIASOMNIA or DIASOMNIA ship gives me the ick for personal reasons. That doesn't apply to Oc X Diasomnia ships!! Love a good ol' oc X canon or self ship :3 (unless it's with a specific character because I have issues.)

♤- I'm up if you're interested in being my moot! Do not be afraid, I bite only when I get comfortable :3

|I{•------» more down! «------•}I|

[Tags I'll use]

✰- #Gilia🌊🦇 (G and Lilia. All of it is platonic)

✰- #Gruggie🌊🍩 (G and Ruggie)

✰- #G🌊 (my Sona!)

✰- #Smayan⛓️ (My Heartslabyul oc)

✰- #Siamec2➿ (My Pomefiore twins ocs)

✰- #Tristen➰ (One of the two twins)

✰- #Kristen➰ ( the other twin)

✰- #funzies (auto explained.)

✰- #🌊QnA (Inbox replies!)

✰- #🌊 sounds (a fancy way to indicate me yapping over some shi)

✰- #🌊G Oc (an original that isn't from a fandom)

✰- #🌟 (personal faves of mine :3 )

✰- #🎖️Hall of Fame of Reblogs🎖️ (see it.)

[Other!]

[OC & more!]

♪- My Sona reference sheet!

☽- I like Persona 5, Breath of the wild, RPGs like mad father, Ib, etc :3

☽- I'm a professional yapper. I yap a lot.

☽- I'm also on tik tok and Instagram! Also Twitter but I don't use it much.

[☆Mutuals☆]

☆ You should totally follow them! ☆

☆ @cumonpumpkin ☆

☆ @kitwasnothere ☆ @kitwasheree - art blog :3

☆ @melsiel2 ☆

☆ @distant-velleity ☆

☆ ｡･::･ﾟ★,｡･::･ﾟ☆ 🌊 ☆｡･::･ﾟ★,｡･::･ﾟ☆

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kociepierogi · 6 months

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Hello! I’m your LOST secret Santa! Could you tell me about your favourite character and why you like them?

Thanks!

Hi, I'm sorry for late reply but I'm out on a trip rn!!

So, I could say that I have three fav characters; Sayid, Mr Eko and Ben.

I like Sayid bcs he's both so perfect and imperfect. He's literally the most beautiful man on the whole island who respects women and always has right opinions (let's ignore his past, okay 🤪). What is fascinating for me in his character, that I can very easily read him from his face and body language and as an autistic person, most of the time I find it incredibly hard. (Maybe it's time to slap another autism headcanon on my fav character 😆).

He's beautifully soft, caring and emotional, very intelligent and knows his shit about things. I very much have instinct to protect this man at all cost, though I know it would probably be the other way around 😆😆😆

I also very often find it fascinating when a character has a dark past although clearly being a good person and still struggling with some horrible stuff (let's ignore what they did to him in season 5/6 😭😭😭). It's like... the nuance, mixed emotions and lots of space to do some tasty psychoanalysis 👁👁 In the end, we see what his character is about and it's very much about how sOFT and caring he is to people he loves, he just wants to protect them ;u; But he was forced by war to go to extreme measures to survive and he is stuck with this survival mode and trauma for a long time, as people with pstd are.

He's a lovely friend, partner and ally to have and I like to headcanon him to be on the ace spectrum, like demisexual and biromantic (just my personal little headcanon 🤭). Idk, he's just neat 🤲💖

When it comes to Ben, I love how horrible he is, it fascinates me without the end 😆😆 He's clearly someone who has ptsd and might be autistic with some absolutely horrible coping mechanisms and jealousy problems. He's pathetic in a way that makes me hooked, whenever we find some humanity behind all of that and someone yET again gives him another chance (as they usually shouldn't, but I would do the same because I am delulu). The part in the finale in afterlife, when he was in this ridiculously adorable teachers AU with Locke made me love him even more, bcs it showed what kind of person he could be, if all of this bad stuff with island wouldn't happen. I love to headcanon him as autistic and gay aroace or asexual gay or just gay. He clearly would have many little passions if he wouldn't be occupied with the island bullshit and his ptsd. He's clearly a father at his very core, the one that is not rotten with fear and jealousy. He seems to just care sm for others in this AU. (And he clearly would have some interesting close friendship with Locke with nice sprinkle of gayness 👀)

Normally he's a horrible person with tragic story but I am a Benjamin Linus apologist 100%, love that he got his little redemption arc at the end and got domesticated by Hurley 😆 He might as well get it after all this mess and trauma with island and Jacob vs Black Smoke bullshit, like wHY not

The third option is Mr Eko and his incredibly relatable struggle with religion. Again, another character that I headcanon as autistic, like VERY much. The way he perceives world and communicates 🤌 I'm always weak for character whose stories are about survival, trauma and like in this case, religious trauma. Even though myself I came out in the end to be agnostic, I admire his strength to stay spiritual and become a priest. He's someone who's strong and someone to look up to for advice. Though, he shouldn't have to be forced to be so strong by awful trauma he went through.

I absolutely LOVED the way he perceived his spirituality and concept of sin. The way he said he asks for no forgiveness, because he only did what he did to survive. And that struck me, I was like WOAH, THAT'S IT. I am really sad that his character was killed off and we never saw where they would go with it, it would be so sO interesting. A badass priest with awfully dark past 🤌 His attachment to brother is very relatable to me too. And yet again, another aroace headcanon 😆

Anyway, sorry for long ramble, hope that helps a bit!!!

#Lost #Lost spoilers #abc lost #benjamin linus #sayid jarrah #mr eko #lost secret santa #asks

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blole-hack · 2 years

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My magical guide to get yourself out of bitchlessness. For men, for women, for everybody no matter who you are and who you wanna date.

bitches be like "GET PEOPLE TO WANT TO DATE YOU DO BY DOING THIS, THIS, THAT, THIS, THIS"

me, tired aroace (angled) who has to actively avoid people from being attracted to him (because amatonormative society eyy): Look What They Need to Mimic a Fraction of My Power

So........u want my power? or at least what im talking about having because you don't believe me? fair tbh. dont believe everything you see

ok here's the shit:

HOW TO BECOME QUALIFIED FOR A GOOD RELATIONSHIP:

1 - Just be a good person, don't be an asshole and take care of yourself, be authentically compassionate and respectful to yourself and to others, that's literally it. you'll find somebody good somehow.

2 - Don't let your loneliness and date hunger and obsession with relationships get in the way of you living authentically.

Ok, people are gonna be like "but i can get a relationship without having to do that shit (the last part especially)"

Yea, but are you really living fully while doing that?

Getting in a relationship is the easy part. Exercising and getting a glow up's the easy part. Acting as someone other people would be attracted to is the easy part. Why? because it's actionable and it has steps that could easily become clear! It just takes a little bit of research and commitment. But its bull crap if it doesn't truly come from you. Not just bull crap to them but bull crap to you.

What's hard is if you don't know yet is actually getting a healthy one. What's harder is being yourself. What's harder is building yourself and knowing yourself.

Dating is just a fraction of your life guys. Two people's lives can't/probably shouldn't perfectly coincide especially since you've been living your separate lives at first

Living a nice healthy life in the first place before ending up with someone while you're dysfunctional and fully believing your worth and your quality of personhood is entirely dependent on whether or not you can get into relationships

And of course you can, logically get into a relationship

Intrinsically, mathematically, it's fucking possible dawg. dont give yourself any of that "its hopeless for me SPECIFICALLY because IM A BEING BENEATH OTHER HUMANS. actually, iM TRASH, NOT EVEN HUMAN"

because DAWG

1- you're a human being

2- humans are attracted to nearly every kind of human being

3- and even if theyre not attracted some people still wanna get into relationship

boom see??? you mathematically already fit the bill. stop overcomplicating shit. sometimes it really just turns out youre not someone's type, or maybe they didnt get to know you enough but who cares? baby, there's literally so many people in the world so no shit youre not someone's type. but that shouldn't stop you from being your type.

what should stop you from being your type is if you're a fucking asshole (and people are unfortunately still attracted to that but like see no matter what you're gonna get into a relationship if you truly desire to.)

In reality, a lot of people have no standards.

TAKEAWAYS

1- that should make u confident

2- but you should still be a high quality person (in your own definition!!)

SO EARLIER i was talking about how to be qualified for a high quality romantic relationship, and now I will tell you

How do you make something romantic happen between you and another person?

I DONT KNOW WHY PEOPLE THINK ITS SOME KIND OF MAGICAL THING, BUT LITERALLY THE ONLY THING YOU HAVE TO DO

IS TAKE A GENUINE INTEREST IN SOMEONE AND WHO THEY ARE WHILE ALSO SHOWCASING YOUR GOOD ATTRIBUTES, What makes YOUUU the cool u

make sure its balanced. both of you are important in this relationship and both of you should have space to be yourselves

AND THIS IS WHY it is so important to build yourself and learn about yourself like in what I just said above. You have to be interested in buying, and you also gotta know what you're selling/hj (this is just a metaphor dont take it as me thinking of relationships as business. BUT business is also a relationship in of itself)

And what you're selling HAS TO BE GOOD. Something that ISN'T what you would run away from, or throw away if it reaches near the people you care about. I know this is hard to think about if you really hate yourself.

Think of yourself as someone else and ask yourself "would i totes hang out with this guy? would this guy treat me right? would this guy bring value to my life? would this guy inspire me and make me see new shit and broaden my horizons which i might be missing from my life?" (and other things that are more of what you want)

AND IF YOU ARE NOT SOMEONE YOU ARE INTO, THEN ASK YOURSELF, WHAT ARE YOU INTO? Dont become WHAT YOU ARE INTO out of ENVY, become INSPIRED BY IT, and make yourself your human canvas bro of beautiful art bro. and it doesnt matter if it starts out as crap, all artists make crap at first, its a lifelong thing, and thats ok, and even if its crap, its still beautiful because it is authentic boiii

this is applicable for building any sort of relationship!

You don't have to chase squat.

AND THEN IF THEY GET INTERESTED IN YOU BACK, OR IF THEY ALREADY ARE AND THEY GET MORE INTERESTED IN U, Then you be honest with your feelings and then its entirely up to them and that's ok. Be OK with the fact that, bitch, there ain't no way to having a 100% guarantee or win rate in love bc that's stupid and things are always unique in terms of other people's relationships and personalities. NOT HAVING A 100% GUARANTEE IS TOTALLY NORMAL AND IT DOESNT MEAN YOURE SHITTY Following other people's bullshit dating advice is only going to attract you people that have bullshit values :) and that is NO BUENO homie, no matter how lonely you are my homie.

IF YOU WANT GOOD SHIT FOR YOUR HOMIES, AND U WANT GOOD SHIT FOR YOUR RELATIONSHIP PARTNER/S THEN U SHOULD WANT GOOD SHIT FOR YOURSELF BITCH

And now for the last step, or second actually, chronologically. But it requires the two above to understand.

You have to actually *decide* on who to date. Don't just pick someone just because they're the only option you see. Because, who would like only being liked that shallowly? it might not be a turn off if they're that desperate, but it would suck for them and make them sad. Plus, you're not getting much out of the relationship if you don't truly VALUE who you're with AS THEMSELF. Like, why u wanna be with them for life bro? If you don't even know them bro? And if you don't VALUE who that person is, they won't

Because the act of valuing a person, is valuable to the person. The very act of being choosy and choosing that person is important. Goes both ways. Don't pursue someone who is not on the same level of you in the value department

"BUT IM TOO TRASH TO EVEN BE PICKY.. oR PEOPLE CANT ACCEPT ME FOR WHO I AM BECAUSE OF X Y Z THINGS I HAVE NO CONTROL OVER LIKE BEING TRANS OR BEING NEURODIVERGENT"

THAT AINT THE CASE. THAT COULD NOT BE FURTHER FROM THE TRUTH. EVERYBODY HAS GOT A RIGHT TO BE PICKY. IT IS A HUGE FACTOR FOR SUCCESS IN A RELATIONSHIP. BE PICKY, BITCH.

Everyone else's dating advice rely on other psychological tactics that allow you to become more perceivable/noticed by other people, which isn't intrinsically bad, but on its own its not sustainable. What I'm telling you is how to sustain that crap, yo. Its entirely up to you to follow them as well.

What you really have to be on the watch for is what kind of person do you want to notice you? This doesn't require you to change who you are bc you have to take into account that this person would also like who you are.

But yeah, if you wanna attract hot people, in most cases, you have to look your own brand of hot. Its just how things work. If you wanna attract good people, you have to be good.

And the process will follow. If you wanna be noticed by something, you gotta be around it, and you can figure that out on your own, you don't need weirdly phrased shit by other people

Oh yeah another last thing, you gotta make yourself strong bro. You gotta make sure your self love is strong enough that if you fuck up (and have to improve yourself) or get disliked/rejected for something that isn't your or anyone's fault, that it wont falter or it would get back together again.

Know to distinguish true criticism, needless bashing, and something that's just up to personal taste. Accept criticism and do it without the hurt, and ignore shit you don't have to change and dont feel like changing and move on

That's all everybro (gender neutral) go and slay

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tonberry-yoda · 1 year

Note

Hii first of all i hope youre doing great! Make sure to drink water‼️

So i saw that your requests r open but idk if u can do matchups so feel free to ignore this if u dont

But if u do, i was wondering if u could do a jjba matchup from parts 2-7 (any gender idm)

Some info ab me:

Im agender but i use any pronouns, im aroace (! Aroace ppl can still feel romantic feelings js limited, just letting u know bc ppl get confused🥲!)

Id like the matchup to be romantic and some characters i wouldnt rlly like u to include r stroheim, kira, pucci and funny valentine

Okay lets get to the main stuff

My personality is pretty confusing even for me tbh

I can be very serious at times but i can also be very js energetic and yk goofy ig? My energy gets drained quickly after that tho so yeaah

I get told pretty frequently that im harsh but im just honest🤷‍♀️

I prefer saying whats objective and truthful rather than sugarcoating stuff

I can be very supportive tho dont tske this the wrong way

Im an ambivert and idk if yk mbti but since it might help im an Intj e3

Also im a night owl so yeah i love staying up and stargazing from my window💁🏻‍♀️

As for how i act in daily life well, i always try my best to get everything that im assigned done and most of the time i do. I strive for perfection and success in whatever i do and i am very ambitious🏃🏻

At times tho i feel like i need breaks so once in a while i like to just stop and relax, to do absolutely nothing

I like to read books every now and then but i dont have a good attention span and i zone out A LOOOTT

Not just while reading, if im doing anything at all ill just zone out eventually

I really enjoy being in my head with my own thoughts its like my safe space even if its not safe ykwim

Im just a very brain-ish person yk i like thinking i spend hours in my head its like my comfort place

I also like being productive it makes me feel alive

Like doing stuff

Im also a result/success oriented person so yeah

Also other than reading im also into make up and i like to listen to music if u consider that a hobby

I have a very mixed music taste but my friends say its good

I really like lana del rey and indie music but I also love rock and grunge like ac/dc, nirvana, pearl jam etc.

I also listen to stray kids sometimes their music is cool (kpop) but i also listen to j-pop and classical music (ascends me to heaven fr)

I also listen to 90s hiphop. Yeah.

Thats a lot of stuff I KNOW but i told u its a mix

As in fashion i dress either very y2k-ish or like my friends always tell me i look like those 2 girls from mean girls (my clothes)

I like to dress coquette-like though too!

Id also like to be a gothic lolita but i cant so thats sad

I also have brown hair and brown eyes and im average heigthed

My friends say i have the best style so yeah

I dont really have a type but i do have a preference for either people who are like me bcz yk they get me

But i also like funny people like very energetic funny people

We can be like sun moon dynamic idk😭

I like every love language ngl

I have a slight preference for gift giving though

I mean thats the one i use so

The fic is up to u idm what it is

Tysm for ur time, ik that was a lot, feel free to ignore if u dont feel like it have a nice day/night <3

notes: omg hi!! I am finally doing your matchup <3 I feel like it has been in here forever omg. but i am so glad im getting to it today!! i literally have the PERFECT character for you tee hee so let's jump in <3

the character I chose for you is...

GYRO ZEPELLI!!!

you and him have a very similar personality. you can both have a serious front, but goof off with each other, which is the most fun

it makes you a super successful couple too because you both know when it's joking time or not

though you will find him making stupid jokes more often than not

he likes that your harsh/honest

it just really shows that you know who you are and you cant take certain stuff

it just means your strong-willed and that's what he loves about you

there is nothing wrong with being harsh and he tells you that all the time

you and him are very supportive to each other and it really helps the relationship grow

i feel like gyro is honestly a morning person, so you wont find him staying up with you late that often

so while he sleeps next to you pet his hair

but he will 100% stargaze with you while you talk about life and cuddle

you get shit done and that's what he loves about you

and when you two are together, you're literally unstoppable tbh

as ambitious as this man is, he is also lazy, so he will ask you to just sit and cuddle him so you can take a break

and who are you to deny gyro??? i would cuddle in those arms any day

doing absolutely nothing sounds amazing to him, so please stay wrapped in his arms

just know he will fall asleep

since you love reading, but zone out a bit, this man will read to you

he loves to read to you

even if you zone out, he will catch you up

he overall just enjoys reading out loud a lot, so you're going to hear a lot of it

while you're just thinking, he'll be right beside you

you are your own comfort space, but you begin to feel that he is becoming your new one

he is also a mixed music dude, so yall listen to whatever

HE LOVES THE WAY YOU DRESS OMG

literally force him to dress up to and you will be walking ICONS

do his makeup

LITERALLY

he loves when you make him all pretty

he'll braid you hair if you braid his

he is super energetic and funny, so you have the literal perfect man for you

and he will provide every love language, just expect a lot of words of affirmation from him and way too many cuddles

and if you give him gifts, he gets all flustered and blushy

and then he'll get you gifts too :)

and now for your fic :)

You stayed up on the edge of your shared bed with Gyro and watched the stars from your window. You lived in a nice enough area to see all the stars and you were very thankful for that. You couldn't go to sleep, so you decided to open the window and get a breath of fresh air along with your view. Your boyfriend slept quietly next to you, his arms hugged around his own lanky body. You watched his breaths for a moment. In. Out. In. Out. You smiled and ran your fingers through his long sandy blonde hair before looking right back to the window. "Darlin?" You heard from Gyro, making you jump. "What's up?" You asked, seeing his long arms stretch in front of him as he sat up. "Can't sleep?" He asked, avoiding your question. "No, not really. Just wanted to do some stargazing." "Come here," he said, patting his chest. You gladly laid your head on your chest, having an even better view of the stars as he petted the top of your head until he fell back asleep.

~~~~~

matchup rules | pinned post @tonberry-yoda

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eternalwritess · 2 months

Note

Hey, I'm that anon that was matched with Charlie a while back (the one with the soy sauce packets). I was wondering if you could match me with one of the Helluva Boss characters?

It's the same info as before \/

I'm a bisexual aroace (If you've heard of "demiromantic"; that's how I experience romantic attraction). I use he/it/they pronouns.

I'm an INFP, though I have gotten ISTP sometimes. I usually keep to myself around strangers, and my first words to people that I'm not introduced by friends are usually just work-related with a bit of small talk (even in fandom spaces, surprisingly). Once I get comfortable around people, I tend to let my childish nature and antics shine through, and once I consider you a friend, it's hard to ever fully shake me off. My friends sometimes call me an "old grandpa", with the way I know a lot of random psychology and biology facts, and the way I fumble with new technology, slang, and texting acronyms. My love of non-fiction and my adherence to grammar rules certainly doesn't help. Simultaneously, they (lovingly) call a 12-year-old boy, with the way I don't hesitate to pull out a "your mom" or "that's what she said" to the conversation and with the way that I almost exclusively watch animated movies and shows over live action ones. I carry with me 15 packets of soy sauce in fish-shaped sachets in my (several) pockets. Why? Because I think it's funny, and the confusion I bring to those around me with my soy collection gives me a sense of joy. (I do other things of a similar calibre, but I wanted to name an example) Despite all of this, I tend to gravitate towards the "Mom Friend" archetype. I carry with me a lot of people pleasing tendencies (I get a lot of anxiety around not upsetting others), and that translates to making sure that the people around me are happy. I also tend to fill a "Therapist Friend" role because of this fact, my psychology facts, and how intuitive I can be at times. I tend to isolate myself, whether by physically or mentally leaving the room, when I feel upset, and I don't really like talking about negative experiences I have unless those experiences have been resolved.

On a brighter note, I consider myself quite the creative person. I draw a lot, though I usually only draw other characters instead of my own OCs. I have a discord server that I use to jot down either: a) my opinion of a certain media b) images/reactions I find funny/relatable c) infodumps about AUs or crossovers that I've made I don't really write, so I consider "c)" to be the next best thing. I also love music. I listen to mostly indie music, with a couple of generic queer bands thrown in there and a couple of musicals' and video games' OSTs. I play the violin and the trombone, so I may be biased in saying that I love jazz (really doesn't help the "old man" allegations, but who cares). In terms of non-creative hobbies, I love reading. Although I find myself drawn to the odd science non-fiction book, my heart lies in fantasy and mystery novels (this does include webtoons, manga, and webnovels, though I don't read those as much). On the same vein, I love video games (where else would I get those OSTs?). I tend to like story-rich games that are either turn-based (think Undertale) or no combat (think Slime Rancher), though if the mechanics aren't too overwhelming, metroidvanias are nice (think Hollow Knight). The last main hobby is food. If I didn't give you "mad scientist" vibes, let me tell you, I "Victor Frankenstein" my way through every meal, when time permits. I mostly mix and match what I'd think taste good together based on what I was craving at the time. I'd also say that, apart from Quality Time, I show affection best through giving foods that I've made. It works in reverse, too, where I get pleasantly happy when people I know well offer food to me. There was this one time I was bickering with some friends and one of them held a packet of chips to my face, and I tell you, the way I immediately shut up the second I saw it... I was almost embarrassed by how well that worked...

I'm really sensitive to a lot of textures, and the biggest ones are stickers (and anything sticky in that way) and wet things (think water fountains splashing water unexpectedly, fruit juices spraying on my face when I cut them too harshly, even stepping on wet floorboards without socks can set it off). Clothing/carpet with short hairs send literal shivers down my spine, but only when I touch them with my fingers/feet. I don't like kissing (at all.), so I normally stick with nuzzling. Hugs and spooning (both with people I'm comfortable around) are okay, however.

I don't really have any pet peeves, other than just blatant disrespect of basic boundaries as well as these boundaries in particular.

I hope you have a good and well-rested day :)

𝕐𝕠𝕦 𝕙𝕒𝕧𝕖 𝕓𝕖𝕖𝕟 𝕞𝕒𝕥𝕔𝕙𝕖𝕕 𝕨𝕚𝕥𝕙…

𝓜𝓸𝔁𝔁𝓲𝓮!

Honestly the first person that came to mind for you is Moxxie

The way you two met is that he probably say you trying to mediate between an argument with a few others it started getting a little... dicey so he decided to step in before you got hurt

Yeah so those guys are now dead-

He made sure that you were okay immediately afterwards

"Are you okay? Some people in Hell are just so unreasonable,"

After that he offered to walk you somewhere safe (at first he offered to your house but then started stumbling seeing how weird it sounded since you both just met)

He tried getting you talk on the way asking you small questions here and there trying to get to know you more since he found the way you handled the situation between the two guys amazing

"So what do you like to do for fun?"

Once you let your guard down he really fell in love with you

He absolutely adored your more childish nature and it would push him out of his boundaries just a little more

You and him would absolutely bond over not understanding the internet. You would both try to learn it and Blitz (idk how to do the o thing) would try to 'help' you guys (just make fun of you)

He would randomly asking you questions loving your random psychology and biology facts. He admires your will to learn and finds it as one of the most attractive things about you

"Do you know what this is?"

Whenever you pull out a 'your mom' joke he finds it slightly immature and doesn't get it all of the time but Blitz likes it and will encourage you on it

Either way though he finds your sense of humor quite nice compared to Blitz's

He doesn't know why you have the soy sauce packets... its a mystery to him

"May I ask... why?"

You and him probably read series's of books together like honestly I wouldn't doubt it. Its one of the many things you do together

Whenever you get upset and leave the room he gets concerned and will try to give you space but might end up following you and trying to comfort you. But if he sees that you just really want to be alone he'll leave you and apologize

He'll then grab some of your favorite stuff for you and surprise you with it trying to make sure that you're alright

"I know you're having a bad time so... I grabbed a few things for you"

He encourages you to be creative all of the time constantly buying you drawing supplies and praising your work. He hangs it up everywhere... and makes sure that everyone knows that you did it and that its the best artwork in the seven rings

While you and him might not have the same music tastes he loves you anyways and will end up writing songs for you

"I made a little something for you..."

Whenever he hears you play the violin or trombone he swoons and will start hugging you and nuzzling you whenever you're done

Sometimes you both play duets together and afterwards he'll always praise you saying how well you did

Whenever he sees you mix and match food he gets confused and will give you the weirdest little look ever as if he's questioning his life decisions...

But besides that he'll just give you an awkward thumbs up

:Thumps up:

He gets you food... like all of the time. He loves gift giving if you can't tell by now-

Whenever there's a texture that you don't like and it comes into contact with you he'll help you get it off always

He always follows your boundaries no matter what <3

It took him a while to open up to you about his past and he didn't share all of it... but you comforted him through it

#hellaverse #helluva boss #match up #matchups #matchup

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daydreaming-jessi · 1 year

Text

How about some fun facts about Lew and Krang?

While traveling through space, both were interested by earth and its enormous natural satellite, the moon! They decided to check out earth, but forgot to account for the moon’s gravitational affect, and so they ended up crashing into earth, rather than landing. Lew was very disappointed in herself for making such a rookie piloting mistake… Krang was just glad they survived.

After all their grand road-tripping across earth and space, Lew and Krang have developed a mutual love of music. They become mega fans of an alien electric band called ‘The Fi-0’s’. They both dream of attending one of their grand concerts one day. Krang will also develop a love for oldie music and record players, he loves ‘Everybody loves somebody’ and ‘Fly me to the moon’ the most. Lew loves music with lots of deep bass, and will do most anything with something playing in the background. She even has a fighting playlist that krang plays to pump her up and keep her in sync. If you hear music, you know lew is up to something.

Lew is an earth name, because her actual name is unpronounceable for human vocal chords. (You need multiple sets to pronounce it) She was once asked to sign a petition, and in a panic, saw a license plate spell out L3W and put that down. The person thought it was just a funny way to write E, and that’s how she got her earth name :D Krang do not do names, so Krang just calls himself Krang cause that’s what he is. It does not get confusing when multiple krang are in the room :))))

Krang and Lew both love nature and biology, they go on research expeditions all the time, writing down everything they see and photographing it. This is where Krang starts to pick up his photography and scrapbooking hobby, keeping all the fun pics he took of him and Lew having fun for himself instead of putting them into their research journals. He’s very sentimental ❤️ Lew loves the camping aspects of it and seeing cool places and hanging out with her good buddy krang.

Lew loves to fly, she’s dedicated her whole life to it. She settles for driving land based stuff when her ship crashed, and she loves fixing up vehicles and modding them out, she’s actually a pretty adept automotive engineer, just not as advanced as krang. She makes a good grease monkey, being able to lift cars up with her hands, but there are some aspects of cars that require more human shaped and sized hands. Good thing she’s been turned into a shapeshifter. She’s also technically a rocket scientist, since she’s a spaceship pilot. Lew is kind of a genius, dang. Too bad folks don’t really appreciate that about her. Most people think of her as a meatheaded jock, and that may be because she doesn’t show off her smarts a lot, just her muscles, but her intelligence is how she and Krang were able to travel cross country for so long (that and a few grand theft autos… but does it really count if they were scrap cars they fixed and souped up?)

Krang loves trying new foods, figuring out what on earth is edible for him and Lew, and what may be dangerous for them. He also finds out he loves stuffed animals, they make burrows and nests warm and cozy, and they let him give them big hugs. He also has a love for coding, it’s like a fun secret language he’s in on. He’s better at mechanical engineering than bio engineering, unlike a lot of other krang.

Lew loves exploring fashion and romance novels, despite being aroace, but especially a romance novel with a grand tear-jerking reunion in it, reunions make her sob like a baby in general. She’s not sure why, they just cause this huge wave of emotion in her for some reason… She also loves astronomy, it’s a good way to feed her space faring itch.

Lew chose to use she/her as a her pronouns cause she likes the ‘sshhh’ in she, and Krang chose he/him because he likes ‘hehehehe’ but that’s about it. Argenauts have a different way of doing things than earth, and Krang don’t actually have biological sexes, they reproduce through krang goopy stuff eventually developing into egg clutches that eventually hatch and are raised by krang designated as brooders.

#jessi doodles #tmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt #lew and krang au #rottmnt oc #rottmnt krang #rise of the tmnt #rise krang #rise oc #tmnt oc #tmnt krang #fan ocs #it’s just a fun mix of dream core and vapor wave #I think that’s lew’s thing.

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sapphireorison · 8 months

Text

Good morning, loves. It's been a good long while. <3

I've recently come out my hibernation and am starting to want to tinker with my brain a little bit. Of course, I come back to this blog to do so. Idk, there's just something about this particular space that lends me to more productive navel-gazing.

I think it has to do with trying to put things into thoughts that others can understand. Because while I might 'get it,' whatever it is, can I also explain it to myself? I feel like that's very important.

Also, I realized that I have done exactly zero spiritual growth since the plague hit, but in a self-protective kind of way. This I would like to fix, because (shockingly) I like growing as a person and learning new things that I'm capable of. I have gotten very good at anxiety mitigation and learning how to recover from major stressors, but that's all just getting me back to baseline. (Though I HAVE a good equilibrium of a baseline, now, which is...novel? New. I like it.)

Some things I've been prodding at more recently (here, have a bunch of personal bullshit, ilu):

I've been reading that City Magick book, which is kind of fun and I already have quite a few thoughts about it. I've been taking notes, so we'll see if I have something coherent to say about it afterwards.

I've also realized that I've been stripping my pop occulture elements from my practice to the point where I'm only keeping the useful and resonant bits. They're far more abstractions now. Useful, but mine. Keeping the jewels, because of what I've made them mean, but...mmm. Many thoughts, tbh. I'm shedding a few of the incorrectly fitting metaphors, though, because I've figured out why they don't fit.

Sometime in the past however long, I finally came to full terms with being aroace, which...has a lot of very interesting implications for just how polyam I am, and what kind of—look. Look. There are very few places for really ~interestingly developed qpr polycules and figuring that out has made a lot of things snap into a really crisp high-def oh shit. Which has also made it a lot easier to ditch some of the constructs I created to protect myself that I don't need. (Though some of them I am legit sad about leaving behind, I outgrew them. Gotta leave behind the husk, yanno?)

Addendum: this past pride with me having decided 'yeah, actually, aroace here' with enough confidence to think it's relevant to pride was...weird? Interesting? I liked it, but it was definitely a thing.

Still very much interested in my Lifeblood of the City project, where I am doing research into genius loci and (ofc) urban witchery. Both in general but also as part of trying to connect with LA. Learning to love a place and a time and, hopefully, to incorporate everything about it into some sort of working practice. If I have to drive hours to hit wilderness, a lot of witchery need not apply.

But also, the above is very much a, hrm, well, I uprooted myself, right? So I feel/felt that sharp and angry disconnect with where I've been transplanted. All of the research I've been doing has been, in a very concrete way, giving me insight and access to a city that I never wanted to live in and who I must live in for the rest of the foreseeable future. So. Spiritual implications of spiritual research, but not in the way you'd think.

Though, of course, I've been here for nearly ten years and I am rather hopelessly fond of many parts of the city, now. Enough that I was arguing with the City Magick book in my notes at its characterization of a city's energy as so often too negative. So. A good point in the project to be reading this book, I think, ahha.

Vaguely grumpy that the one book I want to read re: Genius Loci is VERY out of print (like the publisher went belly up) and the author's last 'thinking about self-pub!' was last in June. If I could just FIND a copy...

Let's see...beyond ALL THAT, I'm about to hit a growth phase in my career, too, and with the fall approaching, all things feel very possible to me. I always kind of wake up as soon as summer ends.

Anyway, I don't know if I'm back, but I do know that I'm pleased to have scribbled down some of these thoughts. I hope you all have a lovely day. <3<3

#hearthkeeping #me update #omphaloskepsis #good morning #I love you #I hope you all are doing well!

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halliescomut · 10 months

Note

Look I understand why you thought what Alice said in what seems to be a very old screenshot is problematic and I feel like I'm not gonna change your mind anyway but here's to trying.

Alice is aroace. They also never expected to influence people as much as they do now, they were just creating things they can relate to and ended up gaining a lot of following and success naturally, so they just weren't careful with what they used to say and weren't expecting people to screenshot old stuff and spread them around and believe they were twisting their mustache back then planning on world domination and on making everyone sexless lmao. They were literally just some guy on good old Tumblr doing things and saying stuff lol just like you.

People are allowed to not be interested in sex just like people are allowed to be interested in sex, and what they said is not completely untrue. Yes there is bl that isn't fetishizing and eroticizing and yes it's getting better, but they didn't say all of them are, they said they tend to be. And it was true. Doesn't mean they think they're better for doing something that pleased them more than erotic bl, it doesn't mean they don't want erotic things to exist, it doesn't even mean they don't enjoy stuff that has sex in it (they have recommended plenty of content that is very sexual in the past), just that they weren't interested in it and didn't want to create stuff like that, that's all.

And even then, Nick and Charlie do have sex. This was in her novels and it'll be in Heartstopper, it's just not explicit, because that's not the point of the story. It's not a story to make people horny, it's a story about learning and growing up and being yourself. It's really nothing to do with purity. It just resonates with people who aren't overly sexual because we just barely have queer stories that aren't overly sexual.

Saying they're racist is also a really huge stretch given they're obviously giving space for black and asian characters in their story. It's not gonna be as well done as if it was created by an asian or black person but they're clearly not racist.

Again, I do under where you're coming from, if they DID think they were better and wanted all shows to be sexless I would even agree with you, it's just not what they meant at all.

I'm answering this because I appreciate you being open-minded towards me as well. The screenshot is from around 2017, which while that is quite a while ago, they were still around 22 at the time, which I think does show that they deserve some grace in having the opinion they did/possibly still do. It's not necessarily my issue that they felt this way at that time, my concern comes from them not really addressing the statement in any way since then. Now, at 28 years old, if they felt differently, why not clarify? Especially considering that this is a topic that gets brought up regularly. Whether she chooses to double down on this opinion or express how her thoughts have changed in the last six years, I do feel that they are certainly aware that this is a concern people have.

I am also Ace, for clarity. I understand that having pieces of media based around romantic relationships SO heavily focus on the physical/sexual aspect is not something people want all the time. I'm not arguing that it's a necessary thing in all media, just that it shouldn't be demeaned, as it is a part of romantic relationships for a lot of people. I'm incredibly happy to see representation that I relate to in Loveless, it's a beautiful story and I think Alice is a really good author. I also believe that it's incredibly important to have queer media that can be rated PG or PG-13 available so that kids have an opportunity to see queer stories. Having that type of media exist means that any kid can enjoy these stories and develop empathy for queer people, as well as potentially explore their own queerness at an age appropriate level.

I 100% agree that HS doesn't need explicit sex, I state that in my original post. It would be out of place for multiple reasons in the universe that Alice created. I would like to say though, that explicit scenes in media of any type are not always included with the purpose of making someone horny. Can they be? Sure. But they can also be included as a way of further exploring the personal connection between characters, to add detail to the growth of their relationship, depth to their characters. In visual media specifically, it's important to SHOW growth as opposed to just saying it's happening. Written work gives us a lot more insight into characters thoughts and feelings, but that's limited in visual media, and seeing how characters interact in intimate scenes is a way to show internal feelings.

As for the last point about racism, I do not think Alice is overtly racist. I appreciate the diversity of her characters, but the inclusion of diverse characters doesn't automatically indicate a lack of racist ideology. JKR is a prime example. Do I think they were being intentionally racist? No. But subconscious racism and biases will ALWAYS be present in white people. It's literally something you have to actively work against. And while they may not have seen their comments then as being potentially harmful or racist, that doesn't mean they are not. Your intentions do not dictate how your words are received or the level of harm they can have. Making blanket statements as a white person about an entire genre that is created and developed by non-white people stereotypes that media and is racist. While Alice at that time may never have imagined the reach her words would have, they still said them, and they have the ability now, with an even greater scope of influence, to express any potential changes in their thoughts regarding things like BL.

#Ask Hallie #Anonymous ask

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sapphos-darlings · 2 years

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hi! I’m a bi girl dating a lesbian and I just needed some general advice. This is my first relationship and I have no idea what to do. I was starting to think I was aroace before I met her. She’s literally the greatest person ever and is so sweet to me. She’s the only thing I think about.

However, I feel like I’m putting in as much effort as she is, but I don’t know what to do. I care so much about this relationship and even more about her. We’ve been together for a month so far and got to know each other for 5 months beforehand. How can I show that I care? Thank you so much!!

Hello, Anon! Congrats on your relationship, that is wonderful!

Well, the truth is that relationships are pretty unique and there really isn't one standard way to be in one. In fact, I believe that being preoccupied with goals or checking a list of expectations can distract you from the moment and all that is good about it now.

Romantic partnership isn't really that different from friendship. Of course romantic partner is someone you have special feelings of romantic love and attraction towards. You are (most likely) exclusively partnered with each other with special stuff like kissing and dates included. Also partnership means commitment and responsibility towards each other. But the good news is that all this takes just social skills and emotional maturity, same as any relationship, and you're learning more constantly, all the time.

Actual specific advice though... I guess I'll tell you what I wish I had known or done when I was sixteen and dating.

Just be more curious about her and don't be too shy: Ask for her life's story, her opinions, her favorite things, her special interests, her hobbies.

Show your feelings more. Get that small gift for no reason. Text randomly just because you want to. Make space for her.

Be brave enough to make the first move more often: Take her hand, sit next to her, ask to kiss her. Cuddle. Kiss her more.

Go on dates, dates you actually want to go on. Do something fun and special with her. Let things, places and experiences become Yours.

Just talk. Listen. Share secrets. Share understanding.

Be yourself. Honestly, just be you. Don't try too hard to become The Girlfriend or to be liked. Of course you should do your best, but don't make yourself into something you're not.

Practice emotional honesty: Learn to recognize your new feelings and voice them. You are both learning partnership and building what that means to you. Take initiative. You decide what you put into it.

Don't give up easily. Learn to discuss negative feelings and don't run away. In your first relationship it's easy to see a problem and be overwhelmed because it's your first time facing anything like it. Take time to calm down and be honest about your feelings. Listen to her side. You'll see that a lot of problems become smaller when you share them and together they can be solved.

Let yourself be silly!

There we go. I hope this gives some food for thought and that you and your girlfriend have long and happy times ahead of you!

-Lavender

#wlw #reply #advice #relationships

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hellosaysnoxx · 1 year

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Why hello there! I would like a platonic matchup for south park!

I have short fluffy brown hair and average height. I usually wear comfortable baggy clothes usually with a nice looking jacket.

I am considered a someone trustworthy from people I know and I will drop something I'm doing for a friend and usually let my friends vent to me. I am also and INFP :)

I really like FNAF, Drawing, Martial Arts,( and South Park obviously lol)

I really dislike people in my class who are always saying awful stuff but that is kinda a given. I also am really afraid of worms for some reason. Even I don't know why.

Some boundaries of mine is that I feel uncomfortable when someone touches me unless we get really close.

I usually look for a friend that doesn't mind me rambling about something. I also want a friend that would like to spend time together like watching a movie or something!

Thanks for reading this! One last thing is that I am Aroace and use they/them pronouns but I also don't mind he/him :)

HI @ar-cade77 !! I'm also aroace, so I kinda also took some from my perspective as well (I hope that's okay)

Also, again, I am really sorry if this is inaccurate because I haven't watched South Park that much at all (I have forgotten most of it)

Also, wanna talk about FnaF? *leans on Freddy plushie very cool*/hj

ANYWAY!! Your matchup is....

Stan Marsh

Trusts you and is literally so grateful to have a friend like you, but might not express it that well

Tries to make you happy too!! (In his own special way)

Was low-key scared of you at first because you go for martial arts😭

If anyone from our class says something awful to you, he will defend you with his life

Will tease you for your fear of worms💀(/lh)

"Hey [readers name] I have a gift for you"

"Aww you shouldn't have!"

*Shows a fake worm*

(I think) Stan isn't really a touchy person so he understands that you don't want to be touched

Will give you space if you need it

I guess he doesn't mind you rambling about something

(But it is canon that he is a really dry texter)

Since you let him vent to you, then he'll probably let you ramble about your interests to him

Sure he'd love to watch a movie with you!

Or just spend time with you

If you feel alone or just left out (in some way) Stan wouldn't mind you being with him for a while

He's there if you ever want to be with him

I hope you like it😭 Have a good day/night Ar-cade77 ♡:P/p

(I apologize for the matchup being so short :<)

#stan marsh #stan south park #south park stan #south park #IM SORRY😭#FOR THE WAIT #AND YEAH #😭

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queerstudiesnatural · 1 year

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I have a bestfriend, who like me is hella fruity yet somehow I, as a girl, ended up liking him. I confessed, at first he told me he's confused but he sees potential here so he'll break off his situationships to explore with me but then his friend talked some sense into him n told him to not get into anything if he doesn't feel the same way, which he admitted he doesn't. We had a two hour conversation after that still in which we talked about our feelings and how much we matter to each other (lot of dark humor about the situation to cope) now he's weirdly being active msging me n sending me snaps. One of the most recent msg is a reel with the caption "are y'all even best friends if ppl don't assume you together" like???? How am I supposed to react to that??? I see him everyday at uni what do I do?? I feel like he's ppl pleasing again n therefore putting in an effort which is cool but I wanna move on. I can't keep hanging out with him I think. But then he is my best friend. (I didn't mean to unload I just needed to unwind n tell someone whom I don't know my situation just for the sake of it)

oof bestie that sounds rough. weirdly enough i had a friend who was in pretty much the same situation a while back.

i'm really not an expert so i don't wanna give you bad advice here, but i kinda see three options here :

you could tell him you need some space and cut ties with him for a while until you've moved on. but the danger there is that your friendship will suffer from being apart for an extended period of time.

or you could tell him to cool off on the dating jokes but still hang out with him, just try to work on your feelings and get back into a friendlier zone

OR, and this is the option that makes the more sense to me as an aroace person, you could decide to leave things as they are, because really romantic love and friendship are pretty similar, and he can just be your friend that you love very very much. and what's the difference between being best friends and dating, if you really think about it? sure there's the physical aspect of the relationship (again as an aroace person i tend to brush over that oops) which if you're into that can maybe get frustrating. but you can be friends who hug and maybe even kiss sometimes. i know lots of besties who kiss their besties. i kiss my besties. acts of love like kissing, holding hands, cuddling, etc, are just what we make of them. they're just things we do when we love someone and wanna be close to them. we decide what kind of social meaning we apply to them. so idk, maybe you can just decide that you love him. and he loves you. and maybe your respective feelings are a bit different, but different doesn't mean less than. you both love each other very much, and you don't have to be dating for that to be true. and maybe it's worth having a conversation about what boundaries you put on your physical expressions of love. but other than that i think maybe there's no reason why things have to change, if you both like each other's company. you might just have to look at your feelings from a different angle. the "love is love and what matters is i have someone to love" angle.

idk if that makes any sense. i'm not very good at comforting people, my #1 instinct is always to try and find a solution. idk if we found a solution here, because ultimately it's up to you to look at your situation and your feelings and decide which decision (leaving, staying but with some distance, or keeping things as they are) seems least painful and most doable to you.

i do hope that talking about it at least helped you a little bit. i wish you all the best, and i'd love to get an update if you feel like sharing.

sending you all the love ❤️

#rain.asks #<333333 hugging you

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