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shywhumpauthor · 2 years

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Hero finds villain, who was missing for ages, just walking down the street and they see that villain is badly injured and they freak out

(I apologise for my strange grammar lol)

Also gender neutral if you can!!!

I love your work sm

-💜

Of course! My nameless character stuff is almost always gender neutral btw!

I realize this wasn’t written entirely to match the request, I got a bit carried away lol, hope this is close enough!

Cw: cold whump, overworking, exhaustion, unhealthy work relationship, kinda obsession? Abuse, injuries, implied torture/kidnapping, mentioned accidental almost-killing, mentioned infection

Hero was running on two hours of sleep and a venti cup of espresso. To say they were exhausted was an understatement. The only thing keeping them upright was the fact that they were physically unable to sit still.

They were nearing the tenth month now, and things weren't getting better.

When Villain had first disappeared, Hero had tried to convince themself it was a good thing. That it was for the better. Their nemesis, the one whom they had been spending day and night trying to capture, plotting their downfall, straight up and disappeared. It was good, it was what Hero had wanted all along, right? To bring peace to the city, to once and for all protect it from the very person who's sole intent was to burn it to the ground.

They had tried not to care too much. They were sure there was some sort of reasoning to explain why Villain just left. Off the map, complete radio silence. Perhaps they had a moral awakening. They got out of bed one morning, realized what they were doing was wrong, and just stopped. Abandoned whatever malicious plans they were in the middle of carrying out, and began to lead a normal, legal life. It was a nice thought, but Hero knew better than to believe it. They knew Villain better than to believe it.

Superhero had told them not to bother looking. Villain was gone, now they could focus better on the new uprising threat of Supervillain. If they weren’t causing trouble, they weren’t worth their attention. It’s not your job anymore, Superhero had said. Not their job, not their problem. It shouldn’t have been taking up their attention.

But there was a feeling, the nagging thoughts that lingered in the back of their mind, telling them that something wasn’t right. The little pinpricks of unease that rose whenever they thought of the criminal that wouldn’t let them sleep at night, wouldn’t let them focus.

So they started to look. Pulling on every thread of an idea, flipping the city upside down in their efforts. They searched all the records, visited all the past scenes of conflicts, searching for hints as to where the criminal may have gone. There was nothing. The police records cut off at the same date Villain had gone missing. Every crime since had been traceable to a certain person at a certain time, and none of them were villain.

Maybe they left, Superhero had tried to console them, urging them back to work. Maybe they found a different city. They’re not your problem anymore, Hero.

But they were their problem. Superhero’s words had only prompted them to search the surrounding cities as well, and a few beyond that as well. Nothing.

That’s how they found themself walking. The sidewalk was slicked with frost, the first flurries of a snowstorm just beginning to break from the thick carpet of dark clouds. Walking, they didn’t know where they were going, didn’t know when they would stop. They knew they ought to get inside, to return home before the storm left them stranded in the middle of the city. The streets were near empty, anyone sensible had gone indoors long before, only dotted with the occasional straggling car or lonesome person hurrying to shelter.

Their breath clouded against the air, hands stuffed deep in their jacket’s pockets. Maybe they’d stop at some twenty-four hour cafe, shelter there for a bit while refueling their depleted caffeine supplements. Yeah, that’s what they’d do. Get out of the storm before they froze, warm up by a heater and a steaming mug before returning to their aimless search. They didn’t know where they were looking, only a faint idea of who they were looking for, but any efforts were better than none.

•••

Hero couldn’t say they saw them at first. They were like a shadow, curled between some dirty steps and an alley wall, their frail body sheltered behind a flimsy sheen of fabric that did little to protect against the onslaught of cold. Their mind didn’t even comprehend it at first, mistaking the lumpy form for another snow-covered trash bag full of whatever muck lined the filthy streets. They only did a double-take when they heard the sound, a cough so small, so weak it was nearly lost to the wind. They hesitated in their tracks, their body moving on account rather than their mind before backpedaling a few steps.

It took them a few moments to discern that the hunched figure was in fact a person, and a few more to figure out if they were even alive. But then they coughed again, bony frail hand, blistered and pale from the frost raised to cover their mouth.

“Hey,” Hero was moving towards them before they could think twice. They were a hero, after all. They helped people regardless of all factors. It was their job. “Hey, buddy, you gotta get inside-”

The words died against their tongue as they watched the figure cringe, their head raising just a fraction so they could glare through half-swollen eyes. Hero froze, their heart sinking down to rest like a weight in the pits of their stomach, heavy and sickening. Their face, what was visible of it behind the fabric—Hero couldn’t tell if it was a blanket, a shawl, or some tattered jacket, it was so worn—was littered with all sorts of marks. Bruises and scratches and scars, fresh and old alike, skin smudged with dried flecks of blood and grime.

“Gedd’away from me,” Their voice came out more rasp than words, syllables so deformed it took Hero a moment to register what had been said.

“Woah, calm down, calm down,” Hero held their hands out as they took a slow step forwards, trying to show they weren’t a threat. The stranger still drew back, eyes flashing with a fearful, raw emotion. “My name’s Hero, I can help you, okay? I can bring you to a hospital, or the station-“

“Hero?” They repeated, the words falling uneasy from their busted lips. Something shone darkly behind their features, their expression hardening into a cold hostility.

“Yeah, I’m Hero. Can you tell me your name? Do you know what happened?” Hero crouched down, their knees hitting against the cracked sidewalk as they lowered to the stranger’s level.

“Get away,” The other spat, words dripping with a venom colder than the wind. Hero was taken aback, not just by the sheer hatred shining in their eyes, but the force which they spoke, not at all matching their broken voice. “I don’t- I don’t want your help. Go- go,”

Even if it had been warm out, and the person didn’t look like they had been beaten an inch from death, Hero wouldn’t have left. A twinge of something nagged at their mind, only prompting them to inch closer despite the stranger’s hissed curses.

“I’m not going to hurt you,” Hero said slowly and clearly, the icy wind threatening to snatch the hat from their head, to free their scarf to the storm. “Please, let me help you,”

“Fucking- get away!” The stranger screamed, their grain legs kicking out and nearly catching Hero in the knee. They were quick to jump back, though lacking their usual graceful precision, eyes widening. “Get away from me!”

As they yelled, the fabric slipped from their form, falling past their shoulders. They were quick to snatch it up, covering their head once more, but not before Hero saw the mark on the side of their neck. Hidden amongst an array of deep purple splotches and scorched burns, the thin white scar Hero had grown so familiar to over the years. Just under their jaw, stretching nearly halfway across their throat before curving up towards their chin. Hero knew that scar so well, burned into their mind. It had been their dagger that made it after all. A mistake, it had been. When they were about to take Villain into custody, they had wrenched back. They hadn’t been aware of the blade in the skirmish, nearly slitting their own throat in the frenzy for escape.

They knew that scar so well because had hd been the one to carry Villain back to their home, to take care of the wound and all the others they sustained in the midst of the fight, provide them antibiotics and comfort through the subsequent infection.

“Shit,” Hero whispered, a low ringing settling in their ears. They stood up straight and the world lurched around them, tilting and swaying around Villain’s abused, hateful expression.

Shit.

——————————

We all know superhero 10000% kidnapped and ruthlessly tortured villain

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eclectic-sassycoweyes · 15 days

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🍬 🌸 please

Hi d! Thank you for this ask and sorry for taking so long to reply!

🍬 ⇢ post an unpopular opinion about a popular fandom character

I have no idea if this an unpopular opinion but I think that it’s weirder/more outrageous that Carlos has never mentioned or called/visited Iris since she came back (although I have to assume he had good reasons and that they had probably already drifted apart or something). It just seems kinda unlike him.

And I kind of liked what the marriage storyline could potentially say about Carlos character every though it was done too late and poorly.

Not being religious and knowing people who literally married for fun/convenience, I guess I don’t see it as sacred or unbreakable unless that’s what you yourself put into it. And knowing Carlos we know he’s got a tendency to deflect and was probably worried about anything that might scare TK off so I can kinda see him forgetting/not finding it important at first (maybe Iris was also painful to talk about?) and then keeping putting it off. So I don’t think that it’s necessarily this huge betrayal.

What I mean when I say like what the storyline potentially says about Carlos’ character, is that it shows him as both so caring and also rebellious and political - choosing to be married to help out with medical insurance even though I think that’s illegal? At least I think getting married for those reasons are. Also it says something about how desperate he was in that age, and that he had such a close friend!🥺

What I find the worst about the marriage storyline is not the secret marriage itself as a form of betrayal, but everything else lol. Making Tarlos into a relationship where they never talked about stuff?? Like friends and past. Making Carlos into a guy who doesn’t visit/at least tries to get some info/talks to tk about his best friend being missing/found alive because he’s sad or worried? It’s Iris slapping Carlos and being pervasive about the divorce papers. And TK suddenly being all proper and annoyed and scandalized (and frankly a bit ableist maybe?) when Iris is at their home, which I think is so ooc of him!

I don’t blame Carlos, TK or Iris though - I blame the writers for portraying them and mental illness badly and for lazy writing!

Sorry to go all angry-rant!😅 here is one more for you, to lighten the mood (hopefully)

He’s not exactly a popular character, and he is a pretty big a-hole, but

But I’m not sure I’m not on Pearce’s side here???😅 to my knowledge a first responder captains first priority is to ensure that an operation doesn’t put their employees life in serious danger - and expecting a paramedic to jump into an active minefield without the bomb squat being there is not that😆

I know it’s a drama show about heroes who heroic stuff and happily risks their life in extreme and unrealistic situations and I love the drama and the characters and their selflessness but yeah - in my superior asked me to go into a minefield I would probably also call my union rep😅

(I actually always saw this conflict as the shows way of being a bit self ironic about the extremeness and the unrealistic danger these people are in everyday they’re at work)!

🌸 ⇢ do you have any pets? if you do, post some pictures of them

My parents have a dog, who I love a lot and have lived with for periods of time, and who I helped train and sat in the backseat with on the way home and slept in the living room with the first weeks when they got him🥹

Here is a picture of him doing what a lot of people should be doing more often - touching grass!

And here is a picture of him jumping up on my bed to say good morning:

And here is a picture of him being very sleepy and looking at me while I sit up too late being on Tumblr😅

He’s a 2 and a half year old doodle (or, a retroodle as my dad called him since he’s a mix between a flat coated retriever and a king poodle)

Thank you again!!🌼

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seventeenlovesthree · 1 year

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Things I loved about Kizuna, which didn’t work for me and where the jury is still out.

Since my impatience is still trying to bridge the time until the 02 movie comes out, I thought about putting my general love-dislike-relationship with Kizuna into words. Because like with every movie I love, there are usually also things I will have my issues with. Granted, this is very personal and very biased, but I’ll still try my best to explain myself.

Things I loved:

The nostalgia bait: Call it cliché, but I was one of the people on whom the nostalgia pandering absolutely worked. I had watched Digimon Adventure for the first time back in the lovely year 2000 and as someone, who did have their issues with how Tri was presented, my first time watching Kizuna gave me everything: Goosebumps, tears, screaming “I KNOW THAT REFERENCE!” out loud. Up to this day, I am STILL finding references, I am still humming along Bolero when it plays at the beginning and I have no shame in admitting all of that. I loved the sap, I loved the cheese and I did enjoy being pandered to.

The light/cinematography/animation: I will try very hard not to gush over this too much, but despite the fact that everyone seemed much paler than they’d usually be, I absolutely loved the light and colour design that was chosen for this movie. The soft, warm tone in the morning and sunset scenes, the menacing orange in cyberspace after getting through the happy, nostalgic pastel tones, the grey/dark tones as the mood changes and everyone is getting more depressed, the cold tones in Neverland... I loved it all. And the same goes for visual framings the characters got, as well as all the symbolysm. There are so many mirror/glass scenes in this movie, so many little references and angle changes that make me want to watch the movie again and again to analyze them.

The fact that the 02 gang was included again: I will be one of the first to claim that Kizuna was absolutely meant to be damage control after Tri and one of the first things they fixed was making sure that all 12 Chosen Children would appear at least ONCE on screen. Granted, unfortunately not everyone was treated equally in this, but the fact that they were actually THERE was still satisfying.

Menoa Bellucci: Even if one might argue that her conflict had been just as much of a reference to previous works/characters as mentioned in the nostalgia bait section (Hurricane Touchdown/Wallace, Tri/Maki), I love her potential (no pun intended). I say this because there could have been even more to be done with her, but in general, the genius girl and unreliable narrator of this story turning into an antagonist because of her own personal wishes and saviour complex is just... Exactly my jam. And I am really curious to see whether or not we’ll see her again.

The “fairy tale” aspect: The entirety of Neverland, alluding to Peter Pan and the idea of never becoming an adult, yet, as Digimon always does, framing this to be a bad thing, is also something I highly enjoy. Again, it may be a cliché and overdone at this point (and I do hope it will not be the central theme in the 02 movie), but I adore this kind of storytelling; an alternate realm, a parallel world that fulfills wishes... That stuff has always mattered in Digimon and it was more terrifying this time than ever before. I do love the brainwashing aspect and the horror behind it all, because watching them all break through this makes it even better. (I kinda feel like we might get some “Jack and the Beanstalk” framing in the 02 movie and if that turned out to be the case, it’d blow me away.)

Things that didn’t work for me:

The extent of the suffer porn (mainly Taichi-centric, but also in regards to Yamato and Sora): Look. I do have an affinity for works that make their main characters suffer. As long as there is a catharsis at some point. The way we had already watched six movies (and a stageplay) dealing with Taichi’s growing pains had just been... Rather painful. I love that boy, I have analyzed his arc countless times and up to this point, I could make sense of it for the most part. But the fact that his happy end was only hinted at left me incredibly dissatisfied. I am aware of what happens by the end of the movie, I am aware of the epilogue, I KNOW he will get there, so the hopeful note still remains. I mean, Digimon never shied away of writing realistic arcs for their characters, but I really just want to see Taichi happy again. The whole part of showing him being “a performative, yet lonely and unhappy adult that also gets punished for his depression”, as relatable and realistic as it was, still made it horrifying to think about that this may have been the last time we’d actually see him. Because we didn’t know there would be another movie in this timeline... I am very keen on outlining, drawing and writing about how he will get to his happy end (according to my own headcanons, that is), but I also reeeeeally want to see that happen. Especially because everything was just limited to a small main core of characters, so we didn’t even know if the other characters weren’t suffering as well. The “fate” of losing their partners still seems to be limited to Taichi, Yamato and Sora after all, as they had been the ones who had never fully come to terms with how they wanted their lives to turn out, but for the most part, we didn’t actually see a lot. Speaking of “not seeing it happen”...

Sora’s absence: The fact that “To Sora” was NOT part of the movie itself bugs me to no end. Because there are enough people who have NEVER seen that short film and thus, to them, her absence in the movie does NOT make sense at all. And it can make sense if you know about the background - maybe even intertwining it into her entire arc. It’s such a beautiful little addition to her personal development and while it is also as unfulfilling as Taichi’s route (especially because I’m currently going through a very similar situation as she does), it at least EXISTS. She deserves so much more than always getting the shortest end of the stick. SPEAKING OF WHICH...

The fact that we never got an animated version of “The Candle of Life”: Once I read that little part in the Kizuna novels, my disappointment was skyrocketing to immeasurable heights. Seriously, this passage, just like “To Sora”, did SO MUCH for Koushirou’s character as a whole, framed and foreshadowed his entire purpose in that movie flawlessly and in such an endearing and human way that it just baffles me that we might never see that on screen... I love that Koushirou is going places, following his aspirations and functions as the communicator and glue that keeps everyone together, still implied to be close with his bff and all, but I wish my boy could also catch a break at some point.

The jury is still out to decide.

The character designs: I have a huuuuge love-hate relationship with the character designs to be honest, because again, there is so much potential that seemed to go unused with it. They did try to merge the adult style the OG 01 and 02 seasons had with something modern and fresh - and I am thankful that they gave several characters parts of their uniqueness back which Tri’s designs partly took away (such as Koushirou and Jyou having pitch black eyes). And - who wouldn’t be happy to finally see the babies all grown up, pretty and proper!!! It IS a very pretty style. But it was/is still clear that they haven’t perfected it yet. The artbook implies that the characters had been even more expressive than they were IN the movie, but I assume that is also due to the fact that the story didn’t allow for many comic relief scenes. But if there were any, it was amazing (and I really liked the more light-hearted moments a lot!). But this way, the emotional range of Yamato and Koushirou, for example, was heavily unter-utilized and that is a shame. Instead, we sometimes got severe cases of same-face-syndrome and stiffness and you can tell that there is so much more this style is capable of - it just needs a little more polishing. (Also EVERYONE was really slender in the art style - which was also present in the original style and may and may not have played a role in the character development as well, like we can assume in Taichi’s case, since he has quit football and all... But still, differences in body types could have been nice!)

Design wise, we have basically three categories: 1.) I love it/It fits, 2.) It’s okay, but could have been better and 3.) WHY?.

Category 1 goes to Sora, Yamato, Ken, Miyako, Hikari and Takeru. Sora changed her bangs for the third time and she’s finally wearing pants again, she’s gorgeous. Yamato is nicely toned, even wears glasses and got back to his signature hairstyle that still fits. Funnily enough, I think I am one of the few who thought the short hair Ken got was nice - I understand why people would mourn his original hairstyle, but I appreciated that they did something daring for the first time. Miyako’s colourful attire is absolutely her (even though I have yet to understand what exactly she is wearing in the 02 movie). Hikari’s design may appear simple, but it does give her a very sophisticated aura - even more so in the 02 movie, in which her hair has actually grown a bit. Also adding the fact that the designers knew exactly what they were doing by giving her a lot of see-through pieces of clothing. Takeru giving off all “You can support my writings on Patreon, I also listen to K-Pop, gotta head to Starbucks quickly” energy in the world couldn’t have turned out any better.

Category 2 goes to Taichi, Daisuke, Jyou and Iori. I do understand why they went with a slimmed down version of Taichi, indicating that he hasn’t done much sport in a while, but that and his lack of tan made him appear like an entirely different person. The same goes for Daisuke - and I know for a fact that I wasn’t the only one who thought his hair was very similar to Koushirou’s in the first scene he appeared in. Jyou and Iori were just very... Safe, to say the least. I understand why people mourn Jyou’s hair and cooler glasses, but at least Iori seems to appear more buff in the 02 movie thanks to his Kendo training.

Category 3 goes to Mimi and Koushirou. Mimi is a very difficult case for me, because I get why she is restraining her hair like that, as it is more practical - however, there was no reason why she didn’t wear the outfit they showed in the credits for the movie. Whenever people said her main outfit felt like “kindergarden teacher”, I had to agree... And when it comes to Koushirou, I feel like sighing constantly. It’s understandable that we haven’t seen him outside of business attire in a while now (and I’m happy that he’s still rocking his associated colour orange as consistently as he does), but the fact that they gave him his 10-year-old haircut back is just... Not okay. Give that boy the company boss aura he deserves, he already looks way too slender for the clothes he is wearing, and he deserves to finally have his arc of “finding his style” resolved at some point.

The ambiguity: I absolutely LOVE theorizing about what the TRUE origin of why the partnerships have been vanishing - whether it was actually due to the “becoming adults = losing potential” theory Menoa had (which was disproven by several characters in universe, such as Jyou and Daisuke) or because of the various theories the fandom came up with, such as “the neglect theory” or, even more importantly, “the stagnation theory”. I do love the fan theories more, because if you take the idea presented in the movie, it CAN be read as rather disheartening (and there’s a reason why many interpreted it as trying to tell the viewer “Stop being so nostalgic for this series and move on already!”, even though the end implied that a balance of cherishing your past experiences and use them to move forward in a constructive way is still the best approach). My gut tells me that we miiiiight get an official version once the 02 movie comes out, but up until then and as much as I love speculating, it’s a shame that a lot of people are very hard pressed on what the actual reason is. Others say it’s a huge plothole - and really, that could absolutely also be the case.

The fact that there wasn’t/isn’t “more”: I am still torn between wanting to give the OG timeline some rest and wanting to see the babies I grew up with still going on adventures. The 02 movie coming out this year proves that the franchise - and this timeline in particular - is still profitable. And the little shorts we got besides “To Sora” were just so lovely that a part of me still wishes there was more of this, a little Slice of Life series about the Chosen Children dealing with their everyday lives as adults... So we’ll see if there will be any more content in the future, depending on how the 02 movie will do.

#digimon adventure last evolution kizuna #digimon adventure kizuna #digimon adventure last evolution #my two cents #meta

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walkingfandead · 1 year

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Title: All The Same, Part Five.

Chapter Summary: How to deal with an unrequited crush at the end of the world? A healthy dose of denial and PTSD. Reader bonds with Amy and you reveal a little more about the circumstances that led to you being saved by the Dixon brothers, and why your infatuation with Daryl brings up so many conflicting feelings.

Warnings: descriptions of grisly death, beginning to reference PTSD.

When you woke the next morning to the sound of Amy drumming pots together outside your tent, all you wanted to do was roll over and sleep for another twenty four hours. Your night had been restless and you tried to tell yourself it wasn’t because you were listening for the sounds of a certain set of footsteps disappearing into the woods, or of a truck’s engine being started before tires screamed away from camp. Because you didn’t care if Daryl decided to leave under cover of night. It was none of your business what he did.

You pulled on worn shorts, your boots and a light cotton shirt as you yawned and rubbed at your bleary eyes. As you emerged from your tent Amy looked at you which alarm.

“Are you feeling okay?” She asked.

You stretched your arms over your head in an attempt to loosen your sore muscles. “I’m fine.”

“Well you look like shit.”

You snorted, unable to stop yourself.

“Well roughing it in the middle of nowhere doesn’t exactly leave me at my best Ames.”

You made your way across the camp making light conversation about the type of beauty treatments you missed most, imagining the cooling feel of a face mask on your sunned skin. You absentmindedly ran a hand over the hair sprouting on your shins and almost laughed at how important silly things like a razor had once been to you. Now your priorities were things like rationing out the remaining food supplies and boiling water so no one shit themselves to death.

“So,” Amy began slowly as you heaved a large jug of water between you from the lake, “how did it go yesterday?”

You frowned, slightly annoyed. Had Shane said something to the group? “We really were just hunting you know.”

Amy smiled knowingly.

“Of course. But still… all alone out there in the woods, anything could happen. I mean I know he’s older but Daryl’s… kinda hot.”

You almost dropped the jug as Amy blushed pink.

“What? Just an observation. What if we’re the last people on Earth? There are worse options!”

You tried to shake off the creeping feeling in your chest that you recognised as some kind of possessive jealousy.

“I’m surprised he’s your type…” you managed to croak as nonchalantly as possible.

“Everyone always thinks I’m this breakable doll or something. Quiet. Timid…”

You remained silent as Amy’s eyes glazed over as she looked into the distance. You could relate. People often underestimated you too.

“But I have needs you know. I am a woman. And Daryl has nice arms.” You choked as Amy grinned mischievously. “Don’t tell me you don’t notice those muscles.”

“I… my boyfriend died.”

Amy’s smile froze as you tried to get the words to somehow jump back into your mouth. You had no idea why you’d suddenly blurted out that little tidbit of information about yourself or how it related to Daryl’s and his muscles.

“I’m so sorry,” Amy said gently. “I didn’t mean to… I wasn’t implying anything…”

You dropped your gaze to the stoney ground as guilt squirmed in your stomach. You’d just used the rather gruesome and brutal death of your boyfriend to distract her from leering over Daryl, the man who - if you were honest with yourself - had caught your attention even before loosing said boyfriend.

“It’s okay,” you said quietly, “you didn’t know. I’d just rather not talk about guys or-“

Sex? Love? Repopulating the planet?

“Stuff.” You finished lamely, hoping she’d take your shaking voice for grief.

“Of course. I’m such a moron… but if you ever do want to talk, I’m just a tent away.”

More guilt riddled you as Amy’s smiled warmly. You’d found her to be quite likeable, much easier to talk to than her sister Andrea or some of the other women in the camp. You liked Carol but Ed never let her out of his sight and Lori was always disappearing…

“Thanks but I’d rather try to forget. It was… bad.”

Sticky blood coated your hands. The sound of Merle yelling and people screaming as Daryl dragged you along behind him through crowds of panicked faces.

Your boyfriend’s face growing pale and grey as he choked out a gargled, blood filled breath…

The walk back to camp was in silence. Dale greeted you at the top of the hill, taking the heavy water jugs from your aching arms and toward the lit fire pit. You expected Shane to be on watch atop the RV but spotted a familiar set of squared shoulders covered by a dirty chequered shirt facing away from you. You glanced at Amy who was staring with an unnecessary amount of concentration at the crackling flames. You could see the rosey pink of her cheeks as she avoided your eyes.

You groaned silently until an idea sprung to mind. You wanted to forget about Daryl, and Amy clearly had huge crush. Plus Andrea’s head exploding at the thought of one of the Dixon brother’s so much as touching her precious sister would be an added bonus. Perhaps the best way to get over your own little infatuation would be to play matchmaker. Amy was pretty, smart, funny and kind. Daryl… yes, he had nice arms. You remembered being held by those arms when he’d dragged you away from the snarling corpse of your dead boyfriend…

“You know I don’t feel too good,” you told Dale, who looked you over with concerned eyes.

“You do look a little… peaky.” He agreed.

For a second you considered just how bad you must have looked for the second person that day to think you must be unwell.

“I think I’m just a little dehydrated. Too much sun yesterday. I’m gonna take over watch, sit up under the umbrella and get some rest.”

Dale nodded in agreement with your plan as he whistled for Daryl to come down. You shot Amy a conspiratorial look as she frowned at you.

“I guess you’ll need someone else to help you top up the firewood for tonight.” You said pointedly before walking toward the RV, grabbing Dales binoculars from Daryl’s hand as you passed without a word until you decided to spin on your heel and jab your finger into his chest.

“Try not to be an asshole. She’s nice.”

Daryl blinked at you, clearly confused and irritated by his sudden change of role as you pulled yourself up the ladder to the roof of the RV.

You settled down in the rusty chair and stared out at the vast amount of nothing that surrounded you. Just trees and cliff side. The odd bird flying overhead.

You ignored the sound of a nervous laugh below you, your foot tapping against the metal roof until a thump and a voice that sounded like Shane told you to quit it.

It was a good idea, you told yourself. Perhaps it would put a spring in Daryl’s step to have a little female attention thrown his way and he’d stop being such a moody son of a bitch. He clearly wasn’t interested in you, that much was obvious. Perhaps Amy was more his type.

You didn’t care when the two of them disappeared from view and you certainly didn’t count the minutes they were gone silently in your head, picturing Amy’s shy smile as she ran her slender hands over Daryl’s bicep-

You slammed the binoculars against your tired eyes and scanned your surroundings, desperate for a distraction from your thoughts. At some point Dale brought you a bottle of water that would be safe to drink and insisted you go back to your tent for some real rest. You declined until he threatened to tell Shane you were unwell. Not that you were scared of the former cop, you were just too fatigued to continue to argue.

Back under the cover of the thin fabric of your tent you tried your best to wrap your thin pillow around your ears to drown out the sounds of voices and the day to day sounds you’d grown familiar with. Lori was calling for Carl, Ed was rambling on at his long-suffering wife about kids having no respect… you closed your eyes and tried to ignore it all.

You must have been more tired than you realised as sure enough you fell into a sleep deep enough to keep the twisted faces of the dead from your dreams. Instead you dreamt you were lost in the woods, following a brown hare through shadows as things hidden in the trees followed unseen.

Panic shot through you, an instinctual warning that came too late as the hare disappeared from view and you felt something tighten on your throat. You reached up, feeling for whatever had caught you but only making it choke you further until your fingers came away slippery and wet.

You wanted to scream but could only let out the faintest wet gasp as a figure emerged from the trees, limping toward you with outstretched hands and a mouth dripping blood and spit. It’s gargled moan reached your ears. His throat was torn open, blood covered you both-

You woke with a start, sweat drenching your skin and your discarded pillow. You pulled open the zip of your tent as you tumbled out, grazing your knee as you gasped for air.

You shrieked as a hand pressed against your shoulder and leapt to your unsteady feet.

“Whoa there… I was just making sure you were okay.”

You blinked at the tall, bearded man whose name you remembered was Jim.

“I’m fine.” You told him, the words less than convincing as you tried not to hyperventilate.

Jim shifted as he glanced over your shoulder. “You we’re screaming,” he told you quietly.

You froze before glancing behind you. Sure enough most of the camp were either staring at you like you’d gone mad or were deliberately avoiding eye contact. All except for one set of eyes that made your pounding heart skip a beat entirely until it dropped to your feet as Amy pressed herself against Daryl and whispered something that made him scowl.

You dragged your eyes back to Jim, thanked him for checking on you, and stumbled as far from anyone’s view as your shaking legs would take you, glad Shane didn’t seem to be around to tell you to get your sorry self back to camp when you finally collapsed, sobbing, in the cool shadow of a broken tree.

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blahandwhatever · 1 year

Text

I swear I’m living out some ‘Be wary of potential danger at the end of the month’ horoscope or something because shit’s been kinda wack.

I tried to have a look around the area where the guy was that one night and didn’t see anything out of the ordinary. I went down to the basement hallway to see if the unit he was in front of was even an apartment, and it looked like it wasn’t. The door is different, and there’s no number on it. I have no idea what’s in there, and it seems to remove some of the benign possibilities I had considered. I don’t like this. I know there’s likely countless other random possibilities, but I really have no clues at all to narrow things down with. It bothers me more than past occurrences that freaked me out at night because it can’t, as far as I can tell, be attributed to some private conflict or innocent thing there’s actual evidence of. I don’t know how long it will bother me, or if anything more will fuel this, but for now, I feel compelled to be vigilant in these hours. There’s a couple of newer residents in the building I’m not familiar with. One is a couple; that’s fine. One is a youngish guy. I don’t know if he’s all alone. I don’t know if he’s the one who gets a lot of hand-addressed packages.

Last night, I got pretty comfortable in the thunderstorm only to get some intense sparks flying from somewhere outside my room - I assume in the hallway, I assume from the electrical panel. I was on or by my bed and not looking directly in that direction. I searched around online, and what I found sounded decidedly Not Good. I got scared again. I brought my fire extinguisher into the bedroom.

Then, as I was getting ready for bed, the fire alarm in the building went off. Historically, these have always been nothing, but you never know, especially with the storm and what I’d experienced. I peeked outside, and there was nobody there. I waited to see if anyone would emerge, occasionally checking the situation outside my door. One guy (the guy?) came out. Then the new couple came out. But that was about it. I noticed the alarm was barely audible in the bedroom with the door closed - probably not enough to wake anyone up. Then the fire department came, and they noted a burned food smell, and they knocked on doors and got a few more people out until they found the culprit, a man who had, indeed, burned some food, and that was that.

Today I told my landlord about last night and asked her to get an electrician to investigate ASAP. It took a while. She said she was waiting for a response. I suggested that there were other electricians and expressed my sense of urgency given the big storms coming tonight. She stuck with her guy. Always seems to have a guy she’d rather stick to than search for the best, most reputable company, and in my experience, they’re not always that good. I swear, if her guy handwaves my concern away, I will find my own electrician. Finally she informed me he’d be available in the fucking morning tomorrow. She said to see and let her know if anything happened tonight. I found this unnerving and irresponsible but didn’t say anything. We’ve had our difficulties in the not-too-far past, and I’m wary of giving her a hard time.

My main goal for the day was surviving the storm. I feared getting shocked while walking through the hallway, so, when the storm approached, I moved to the living room to minimize back and forth between the bedroom and kitchen (though I suppose the bathroom was a tradeoff - I tried to use it sparingly when things were quiet) and tried to find the least threatening spot to sit in, suddenly feeling surrounded by electricity everywhere. I brought my laptop and my iPad and my phone and my chargers, plugged in away from me, got my work done early to make the best out of my laptop battery, and switched to browsing stuff on my iPad (I still haven’t gotten a keyboard or pen!) when it was time to charge that.

In the end, nothing happened. I put things back to normal, but, with my other nighttime concerns, I never fully relaxed.

I haven’t felt like this in a while. So tense and tired and sad. Just let me live my life in peace.

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dzpenumbra · 2 years

Text

9/28/22

Okay, so basically today was this. Wake up. Grab a brush put on a little makeup. Browse social media for a bit. Instagram was the only thing interesting and not political. Called the urgent care and asked them if they were cool with walk-ins. Hopped in the shower. The second I got out of the shower, my music on my bluetooth speaker got taken over by a ringtone. My mom called. I was still in a towel. I hesitate for a minute, but I pick up. I tell her what's up and say I guess I don't really mind getting ready while on the phone, I just need to work through the conversation quick because I want to get to urgent care before they close. I have a skin thing that's been bugging me a lot and I've been putting off going for almost a year.

Within a few minutes, I call off going to the doctors. It was already like 4:30 or something, I didn't want to race to get there before 6. This nocturnal stuff makes groggy mornings so frantic and rushed. I'm tired of it. I lose so many options because of it, and my neurotic "I have to be perfectly lucid to drive" thing. I mean, why the fuck would I care about being alert while driving if one of my former best friend's sister died in a car crash on the same fucking road I live on? I wonder...

I brought up the ketosis thing from last night. How my lack of eating throughout the night is actually starving me, and it's probably a big reason why I'm not sleeping well too. Like a spiral, or a feedback loop or something. I asked for help thinking of good quick meals that require like 0 prep. I need food that isn't a responsibility to prepare. I need food that I don't go "I'm gonna have to slate out some time to throw that together". I need something that I grab from the cabinet or fridge and I'm fuckin done. I'm not picky. I eat fridge-cold leftovers all the time. I just haven't had bulk food that I can snack on lately, my menu went to shit real quick and I guess my whole rhythm got thrown off grocery/food prep-wise. I don't know why, probably sleep deprivation, stress, depression - combination of those.

She was suggesting things like pizza and throwing together a sandwich and stuff. I said I felt like that was too much prep for what I'm talking about. That I really just need something that isn't a project for emergency meals. Even soup can feel like a project at that point, like a time investment, like "I better find a video to watch while I do this" kinda thing. I was specifically looking for meals that do not have that kind of connotation. Quick, easy meals that aren't just a honey nut granola bar, because that's like all I have. Maybe I can add in cookies, or cereal. Maybe that will work. But milk expires, I really don't wanna all-in on an emergency meal that can expire quickly. I need something that's there when I need it, the way a diabetic would need insulin available when they need it. Because this is a medical problem, you know?

And I decided to google ketosis symptoms. That always goes well... I'm just gonna step away from that for a bit. I just wanted to see if my skin thing was connected to ketosis, it might be, but honestly, this has been a recurring problem for years, so whatever. It's not gonna kill me overnight.

So my honest rejection of her suggestions created a conflict. We butt heads quickly and I was just really not having it today. For the 10 billionth time. I tried to remind her of the parameters of what I needed help on, that I need something that isn't a chore, that isn't "cooking", that is just really easy and thrown together already. She just got hung up on my denial and started demanding that I show gratitude and appreciation. I really don't know how she doesn't hear what she sounds like. Let me say it directly. I said no to frozen pizza and PB+J suggestions because they involved "some cooking" to my Mom, the only person actively talking to me in my life, and she started yelling at me because I should be appreciative that I'm getting anything at all. What am I, in prison? Like... would they treat me worse than that in prison? I mean that tone, clearly I wouldn't get frozen pizza in prison, but like... "here's a random suggestion I found lying around and put 20 seconds worth of thought into. You should be grateful I gave you anything at all. Where's my 'thank you'?"

I should've just left there. I should've just gone, "you know what, I have to go to the doctors, so I really don't have time to either fight with you or mandatorily kiss your ass." Then I should have spent the entire second half - after she hung up on me... reconnected... left the conversation abruptly to get takeout with my dad... reconnected... fought for another like 3-4 hours... then hung up on me again - doing literally anything productive. Cleaning. Packing. Playing with the fucking cat. Drawing. Writing. Making music. Playing Session, which is a really fun skating simulator that I absolutely suck at because I'm playing on Hardcore mode like a fuckin boss and I'm starting to actually learn tricks! Fuck, I could've done an entire stream in the second half. And really should have. So many things I could've done with my life, gone because of these desperate, sad, pathetic attempts to win back people who are too proud to realize how gigantic of an asshole they're being.

Think about the irony of that. I think we all need to regularly think about how paradoxical that is. "I am too proud to admit I had done something wrong." "I am too proud to accept that I had made a mistake." How the fuck can you be aware of making a mistake, see it, acknowledge it, confirm its empirical presence, yep, flesh and blood, it's there... and then deny it. Then throw the blame onto the one who suffered from it. And demand that they apologize. How are so many people in my life doing this? How common is this? And please do take a minute to digest the paradox of being too proud to do something you would later be proud of. That others would be proud of. Being proud to do something self-serving, at the expense of others. Yikes.

Because of how toxic the interactions were, and how distant, disconnected and back-shelved the plans to help me move have been this week... I cancelled the plans I had with her to help me move. She was going to help me sort my shit and have the person who helps her clean her house come over and help vacuum. I thought it would be a nice way to share my moving, something very emotional and meaningful to me. It's being looked at like a fucking chore. Just like every one of these assholes. I talk to my old friend about brainstorming minecraft mod lists, which is supposed to be fun, supposed to be looked forward to. It's viewed as an intrusive chore that I should be doing myself for him. So many people in my life with this insanely negative, groaning, heavy sigh, dragging their feet shit about being involved in a loved one's life. Someone who wants to make good fucking memories with you. But all you see is "help the needy one", "feed the attention-starved one". Bitter. Mocking. Jaded. Emotionless. Cold. Almost spiteful. "You needy fucking bitch. Stop begging. No one ever helped ME when I was..."

I'm getting a little worked up about this, so I'm going to ramp it down. I was writing in a bit of a venomous tone and I just snipped two lines out of that just because if I'm gonna talk about pride here... I might as well write something I'm proud of. And I don't really like venting this much at the expense of others. I like moving forward. I like learning as much as I can about the situation, integrating lessons and continuing to walk. I haven't edited in a while, so I guess that means it's time for some change.

I called off help with moving. I'm not really sure where anything stands anymore, I just know that I clearly can't rely on my support system. But I only have to endure about a month and a half more of this.

I spent the rest of the night slowly trying to get buffalo mac and cheese into my knot of a stomach over the course of hours, then getting mildly high and playing Session for a few hours. Finally. And here I am. That was literally my entire day. No sketch. No streaming. No streaming brainstorming either. No music. No cleaning. No jewelry-making. Just fighting. And trying to emotionally recover. That's all.

So I'm gonna go and get even higher before I try to fall asleep. Because fuck my panic, I'm already in the gutter. What, is my panic gonna try to convince me a meteorite is gonna hit the planet? Well fucking bring it on, at least that won't be my fault. Actually, I'm sure some people might try to make it... never mind. I don't know, I feel oddly calm about the freakouts, which seems like improvement. I'm very cautious with smoking and very metered with how much I smoke at once, always leaning on the safe side. Now that I've experienced worse shit than that, like actual damaging shit that set me back half a week... freaking out about "maybe ghosts are real and maybe one is in my house, oooOOOooOOoo" kinda seems a bit silly.

#diary #journal #stream of thoughts #spilled thoughts #online journal

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allisonlol · 3 years

Note

If possible could I request dazai and/or Chuuya x a fem! reader whose kinda oblivious?

Totally cool if not!!

a/n: why not both!! as someone who's also oblivious, i love this

warnings: one suicide joke in dazai’s section!! otherwise, none

(Chuuya, Dazai) With an Oblivious S/O

Chuuya

...so he's basically your babysitter

you make him a nervous wreck because he gets so worried for you

rightfully so; i mean you fell down the stairs once due to not paying attention

does find your oblivion cute in some instances, like when you're confused about something and look at him with an adorable conflicted expression

just wants to protect you!!

always has to hold your hand while walking down the sidewalk so you don't wander into traffic or something

usually even answers your texts/phone calls for you, since u always keep ur phone on DND and forget to check (same)

not chuuya being your little secretary-

speaking of that, chuuya tries to call you throughout the day when he's at work to remind you to do your work that u tend to forget about

9 times out of 10 it goes to voicemail tho

omg, tachihara once dropped a snarky comment to make fun of you and chuuya beat tf out of him

no one is ever allowed to say anything bad about you!! not even yourself (no self deprecating jokes while ur bf is around)

is a gentleman and holds doors open for you...especially since you tend to push on the pull doors

Dazai

oh god. this little shit

we all know he's gonna use this for his entertainment

dazai won’t hesitate to laugh at you when you trip over an obvious piece of furniture that was in the way

knows when to take things seriously tho, like if you needed help with social cues in a conversation or needed him to explain something

dazai loves to spam call, so he hates that you never answer the phone

leaves you with 15 voicemails everyday LMAO

they all sound something like: “y/nnnn!! i miss youuuu, please answer my calls :(”

both of you guys never get any work done either; dazai because he’s lazy, and you because you forget

does that attractive thing where he walks on the curb so you can have the whole sidewalk <3

^basically cause he doesn’t trust you not to trip and fall directly in front of a moving car

jokes that it seems like you’re trying to commit suicide more than he is

true to his nature, dazai will use your oblivion to play lil pranks on you

usually just stuff like hiding your phone because he thinks it’s cute to see you get all confused and search for it

is very very soft for you

^one time, you were panicking bc you forgot to write a report for work and he stayed up the whole night to have it finished for you in the morning

...dazai actually writing a report for once?! yes. that’s how down bad he is

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catty-words · 2 years

Text

okay, no one asked, but before i start rewatching the actual season two, my pitch for the ideal season two (pt. 1 of 2 because this got long) -

2.01 “…had dating prospects”

- keep most everything up to the making of the pros and cons list, save for the mohan voicemail

- we follow that up with a scene in dr. ryan’s office, where dr. ryan is like “devi, i wasn’t expecting to see you back, but i’m hoping the fact that you are means you’ve talked with your mom.” “yeah,” devi says. “she insisted i bring you this.” [sets new tiny vase on the table] [dr. ryan’s chuffed] “while i appreciate that, i do hope that’s not all you discussed.”

- and then devi tries to brush off the india move and the fact that they released mohan’s ashes in favor of asking dr. ryan who she thinks devi should date. to which dr. ryan is reasonably like “devi, you can date whoever you want, but please just don’t ignore your emotions about a big potential change in your life.” and devi gets all defensive and says “i’m obviously better now, i don’t have to worry about that.” [ominous music cue]

- then we get parallel scenes where, obviously more affected by dr. ryan’s words than she wants to be, devi brings up the fact that she’s moving soon and can’t have anything too serious with both ben and paxton. ben can keep his wonderfully obnoxious line about having access to a pj, and paxton would shrug and be like “we can just hang out, that’s cool.”

- kamala and devi see nalini off to the airport, and devi’s talking up how cool it’s going to be that they have the house to themselves and “let’s turn on the air conditioning tonight!!”

- at home, with the air conditioning running, kamala has her skype call with prashant (the bones of her storyline would stay the same, no notes)

- we end with devi having a nightmare about being on a plane with her mom only for her mom to have a heart attack while sitting right next to her. she wakes, sweaty and gasping, and we would pan out to see the unused grief journal sitting on her desk.

2.02 “…been an insomniac”

- next morning, devi attempts to broach the subject with kamala, but in a talking-around-it kind of way like “so. you flew here from india kinda recently. the flight was, like, super safe, right?” but kamala’s too preoccupied with lab stuff to really engage

- still needing comfort, devi runs into ben at their lockers before class and brings up that she didn’t sleep very well the night before. “spoiled by the accommodations at my place, huh?” he’d ask, and they’d have a cute little round of banter that ends with them holding hands on the way off to class and some mcenroe narration that’s like “dr. ryan was totally wrong. devi wasn’t ignoring her emotional needs at all.” [catch me looking into the camera like i’m on the office]

- we see nalini arrive in india, and it more-or-less goes the same way as in canon, no notes

- hallway/atrium scene where we establish fabiola’s conflict over identity for the season with eve. maybe they’re having a cute, happy conversation until they sit down at the couches with eve’s friends and fabiola gets visibly less comfortable in her own skin as she tries to head off to her robotics meeting and eve’s friends mock it

- devi’s heading home for the day and is intercepted by paxton, who offers her a ride that she obviously accepts. he asks her how long she has before the move, and they get to talking about what it’s like to not feel connected at all to a place that’s supposedly so important to your identity, which makes devi a little morose until paxton says, “at least no matter what, we’ll always belong here in sunny socal.” and she’s like “wait, you think i belong here?” and paxton shrugs and is like “no one does YOLO better than you, devi.” which is, like, the most romantic thing devi’s ever heard.

- smash cut to nalini feeling very much disconnected in india, but then, of course, finding comfort in nirmala

- we get a scene where prashant contacts kamala, who’s stuck working late in the lab and that storyline rolls on

- meanwhile, devi has another nightmare and wakes up distressed once again. we see her pace her room until her eyes fall on the pros and cons board. happy for the distraction, she snatches up her notecards and marker and adds a pro each to the board: KNOWS HOW TO MAKE ME LAUGH for ben and MAKES ME FEEL LIKE I BELONG for paxton

- next morning, nalini brings home nirmala and the news that they’re not moving

2.03 “…been to a crush-crashed sleepover”

- deciding they need to celebrate that devi’s not leaving, fab and el pitch a classic gang slumber party. devi’s hesitant at first because what if she wakes them up when she has another nightmare and everyone starts treating her like a bomb about to go off again? then again, maybe being surrounded by her girls will keep her calm and distracted and she’ll sleep like a rock

- scene with fabiola and eve, where fab brings up the sleepover and eve is like ‘oooh, what if i crashed?’ and fabiola starts to panic about the possibility of her mom and eve interacting

- back at the vishwakumar house, nimala has unearthed mohan’s tennis bet ledger, fondly referred to by him as the Vishwakumar Serve. “oh, my god, where did you find that?” devi asks, coming to sit by nirmala on the couch and reaching out to gingerly trace her dad’s handwriting on an entry where he bet her a mall day with fab and el that she couldn’t best him in a game. “it wasn’t hard, kanna, there are several labeled boxes in the garage full of his stuff.” the news is clearly a shock to devi, but even as she casts a look over at the door to the garage, she doesn’t move for it

- at fabiola’s house, we get a scene where fab tells her mom about the sleepover, and trying to be a hashtag Supportive Mother, elise starts asking all these questions about where they’re sleeping and it’s totally fine if fab has the girls over but maybe leave the bedroom door open at all times and fab is like “oh, my god, mom, i’m not dating devi or eleanor they both have boyfriends” and then, thinking of devi’s situation, adds “kind of.” to which elise nods sagely and is like “i know about they/thems” and fabiola perishes from embarrassment.

- it’s once again therapy time! devi brings up that she can’t sleep and dr. ryan should probably prescribe her some ativan or xanex to help out with that. and dr. ryan’s of course like, “devi, i’m not writing you a prescription. let’s talk about the reason you’re having trouble sleeping, instead.” to which devi’s like “i dunno. guess it probably has something to do with the nightmares.” and dr. ryan brings up maybe writing them down in her grief journal, like asking her dad for the comfort he always used to provide, but devi’s like “nah, doc, we’re past that, remember?” [dr. ryan frown of disapproval]

- as devi’s leaving the session, she checks her phone to see two texts: one from paxton asking if she wants to come hang at the garage for video game night and one from ben asking if she wants to compare notes on the gatsby reading for english. she definitely considers taking one of them up on it for a beat, but then texts them both back that she already has plans to sleepover fabiola’s (you know what that is? growth.)

- at said sleepover, the girlies are in fabiola’s room. fab’s painting devi’s nails sherman oaks high colors while she runs lines with eleanor. they’ve hung up a banner in the corner that says ‘happy homecoming’ but the coming has been crossed out to instead read homestaying.

- while this adorable tableau is unfolding, we hear a tapping at the window. a wild paxton appears! with an eve clinging to his back because he just gave her the world’s most perilous piggyback ride up the tree outside fab’s bedroom window. “what happened to video game night?” devi wants to know, throwing open the window. and paxton shrugs “trent and marcus went on a food run, and I didn’t really feel like helping them pick what trent’s gonna shove whole into his mouth. so here i am.” hashtag romance, cue the swooning.

- across the room, fabiola’s not giving eve nearly as warm a welcome. she’s all “i told you not to come!!” and eve’s like “i just scaled a building on paxton hall-yoshida’s shoulders can we please appreciate how iconic that is?” and fabiola, though still fretting, is forced to concede this point. if she had an instagram, she’d totally post about this

- eleanor, now a fifth wheel but spirits not easily dampened, suggests they sneak some alcohol from fab’s parents’ stash and play some spicy truth or dare. she volunteers herself to get the alcohol because even considering it makes fabiola guilt-spiral. eve helps! we get a cute scene of them evading elise and eve being like “haven’t i seen that woman before? isn’t she at, like, a million school events?” to which eleanor would be like “yeah, she’s a pta queen”

- while they’re gone, paxton points to the sign and is like. “so what’s that about?” and devi’s like “oh yeah, i’m not moving. surprise!” and paxton blinks and then gets this soft as heck smile going. “cool.”

- [imagine the kids being cute and silly and a little cringe while playing truth or dare here]

- anyway, the boys eventually start blowing up paxton’s phone so he leaves the slumber party with a kiss and a “glad you’re staying” and shortly after, fabiola’s like “okay, eve, your turn to go before my mom sees you here”

- which is of course the exact moment elise comes in with snacks and is like “who’s this?” and eleanor and devi giggle in the corner while fabiola suffers through the embarrassment of getting scolded in front of her girlfriend and THEN having to endure the pain of elise getting too enthusiastic about finally meeting eve

- throw in a scene where the girlies chat sleepily in the dark and devi fighting falling asleep because she doesn’t want to have a nightmare (spoiler alert: she does not succeed, either in resisting sleep or sleeping nightmare free)

- we end the episode with devi paying ben a visit, because if paxton knows she’s staying now, it’s only fair to let ben know, too. he wraps her up in this huge hug and is like “oh, thank god. flying actually makes me really uncomfortable.” and devi shakes her head and is like “wealth is wasted on you.” to which he shoots back, “give it a week as my official girlfriend, and i promise you won’t be complaining about how i utilize my wealth” *winky face* and she laughs, but then it dawns on her ... oh, my god, devi has two boyfriends!

2.04 “…been under scrutiny”

- we open with the girlies debriefing in devi’s room. she ping-pongs from excitement to anxiety over the fact that she’s dating two people, and fab and el are like “obviously you can’t actually do that, you have to choose. let’s consult the board again!” but no matter how hard they look for a solution, devi remains steadfastly torn. she decides it’s not actually wrong of her to date them both for a week, so long as she picks one after that. [fab and el facepalm in unison]

- cue montage! it probably looks similar to the canon montage from 2.02, but with flashes of devi returning to her list to add new notecards with pros/cons

- the day before devi’s week is up, nirmala brings home none other than aneesa and noor, who she got chatting to at the home depot. they’re new in town and wouldn’t you know it? aneesa’s starting at devi’s school maybe devi can show her around! wouldn’t that be lovely? finally, some desi friends! [live devi reaction: 🤨]

- at the same time devi’s meeting aneesa, nalini’s having a run-in with dr. jackson (you’re on thin freaking ice mr. common sir, but i do like what this storyline does for exploring nalini’s grief so.) probably he makes an obnoxious comment about her very expensive and desirable roster, which she pretends to ignore but he can tell he’s gotten a rise out of her anyway and they have this moment of intense eye contact that leaves nalini a little shook

- what the heck, we’ll make the title apply to all three of our leading ladies and make this hypothetical episode also contain a continuation of the kamala storyline where we officially meet her lab partners, who are lazy and lording the possibility of meeting dr. peters over kamala’s head to get her to do all the work

- back at the vishwakumar house, devi and aneesa are in devi’s room, having an uncomfortably polite get-to-know-you conversation. devi learns that aneesa is sporty and is like “hmm, can’t relate” and aneesa learns that devi loves riverdale and is like “ah, i like my television to actually make sense :/” and all the while, the cork board looms in the background

- devi meets up with aneesa the next morning and they head inside with some uneasy small talk. on the way to the guidance office to get aneesa’s schedule and locker assignment, they pass trent, who’s like “yo, devi, this another hot cousin of yours?” which of course makes devi grumpy. aneesa smiles and giggles.

- they find out that english is the only class they have together, so devi promises to meet her there later, flashing aneesa and thumbs up and saying “good luck” before straight-up ditching her

- kamala has her big discovery while the other guys are planning their next karaoke night. main lab nerd man dismisses the work.

- back at the school, it’s english class time! mr. kulkarni my beloved!! him and aneesa bond over soccer while devi watches jealously

- in a ooh, foreshadowing move, the class is discussing why it’s so important to gatsby that daisy disavow her attachment to tom and ben is super on gatsby’s side but devi passionately argues that not even the narrative endorses this

- they have an intense after-class moment, which aneesa witnesses, and she’s like “oh my god! you didn’t tell me you had a boyfriend that’s really cool!” and ben looks all dopey and hearteyes when he says, no small trace of irony, “oh, yeah, that’s devi. the coolest.” and we get a “shut up, ben!” because this is my dream season and you can’t stop me

- at work, we see nalini leaving for the day, and she’s listening to the eight separate voicemails nirmala has left her over the course of the workday and mr. common sneaks up out of nowhere to say “dr. vishwakumar in a smiling mood? it’s a good look for you.” flustered nalini? also a very good look

- in the school parking lot, aneesa catches up with our girl gang, and fabiola and eleanor are asking polite questions about aneesa’s first day while devi’s noticing everyone else notice and whisper about aneesa. and then paxton comes by and is like “i heard a rumor you’re an evil twin?” and as devi’s getting all worked up, paxton steals a kiss and is like “don’t sweat it, vishwakumar. evil twins are always hotter than the good ones.”

- and aneesa, sweet and innocent aneesa, blurts “wait, i thought you were dating that ben kid” at the exact moment shira and zoe are passing their little group

- we end the episode on devi’s expression of dawning comprehension that she’s screwed

2.05 “…been the new kid”

- whaaat? aneesa-centric episode? yes, i think so. narrated by megan fox because that feels right for some reason.

- we kick off before aneesa’s first day at sherman oaks, getting the classic mirror-shot narrator introduction/monologue

- as the day unfolds, we see aneesa getting uncomfortable with how interested everyone is in her arrival. unlike the cool and collected person we see from devi’s POV, we get the sense that aneesa’s actually really shy. this manifests in her agreeing with/saying some contradictory things to various cliques just to blend in. (whaaat? aneesa has an unstable sense of self and her and devi might find common ground about it later? yes, i think so.)

- we also see how devi looks interacting with both ben and paxton from an outside perspective, and that distance makes it hard to see all the anxiety and grief and genuine affection that goes into her choice to date them both. it seems like she’s enthusiastically leading two people on.

- back at aneesa’s house, we get a scene between aneesa and noor, where we learn that aneesa’s transferred because of bullying re: eating disorder. the mother-daughter relationship is full of tension and love. (whaaat? aneesa having a complicated relationship with her mother like devi, something else they might find common ground about later? yes, i think so.)

- noor shuttles aneesa off to therapy, where she talks about how she might have already messed up her fresh chance and her therapist is like “instead of punishing yourself for this, i urge you to tell this devi how you’re feeling.” which is advice aneesa totally ignores (whaaat? …i’m not gonna do the bit again you guys get it)

- we end the episode with aneesa sitting awake in her bed, logging her food for the day in a journal and stressing about what the next day will bring

#never have i ever #mayhap i am obsessed with the hypothetical 2.04 i’ve proposed and what about it?#catty's perpetual nhie rewatch

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amazingmaeve · 3 years

Text

Possessive ↠ John Shelby

━ “gonna show you who you belong too.”

request ━ Could it be where the reader has been john’s girlfriend for forever and when michael joins the family he gets flirty with her and it really bothers john. He gets possessive one day he fucks her in his office and michael comes into the betting shop and sees them in john’s office and he and john make eye contact and john keeps going with a cocky look on his face

summary ━ john sees how comfortable michael is getting around y/n who is oblivious to his flirting. john makes sure michael knows who she’s with.

warnings ━ smut, fluff, jealousy, john being possessive, fingering, oral (f receiving), public sex (kinda)

a/n ━ love writing for john

word count ━ 3k

tags ━ @peakascum

John Shelby let out an angry sigh as he watched his girlfriend of 3 years talk to his cousin Michael. Michael just came back to the family a few weeks ago and he was already cozying up to Y/N.

It wasn’t that he didn’t trust her with other guys, it was the guys he didn’t trust. Now that didn’t mean he thought Michael was going to kill his girlfriend just might try to have sex with her. It usually happens when any guy talks to Y/N but this isn’t any guy. It’s his cousin.

John watched as Y/N giggled at something Michael said. Seeing her laughing would’ve brought a smile to his face if it were him doing it. He knows he should be happy that she’s having a good time. But John can’t help how possessive he feels when it comes to her.

“Don’t get your knickers in a twist Johnny boy,” Arthur chuckled as he clasped his shoulder coming to sit on the bar stool next to his.

“Michael isn’t going to try anything he knows she’s your girlfriend,” Tommy said coldly, pulling out a cigarette and lighting it. He pulled it between his lips and let out a puff of smoke.

“He better not,” John snaps, taking a drink of the gin on the table. John doesn’t want to admit it but he’s jealous. Y/N should be laughing with him, not Micheal. He should be making the smile that graced her lips.

John continues to stare at Y/N and Michael as she says something that makes him let a smile come to his lips. John rolls his eyes grinding his teeth together, ignoring every bone in his body to go and beat the shit out of Michael.

“John,” Tommy snapped at the younger Shelby. John looked at Thomas who was sitting on the other side of his stool. “Stop staring, you're lookin’ like a stalker,” He advised.

“Pretty sure that’s the look he always gives Y/N,” Arthur teases with a smirk.

“No, only when she’s talking to another man,” Tommy corrected a tiny smirk gracing his lips as well.

“Fuck off,” John grumbled rolling his eyes at his older brothers.

“You don't have to worry about anything John, that girl is in love with you,” Tommy explains in a sharp tone. Tommy knew that John got jealous easily and he has to keep reminding him that Y/N is in love with him.

Before John could say anything else, Y/N walked up to them with her coat on looking at John. She gave him a smile and placed the palm of her hand in Johns. She gave him a comforting squeeze.

“You ready to go,” Y/N asks, giving him a kiss on the cheek.

“You say goodbye to Michael,” John asked with a venomous tone in his voice which Y/N missed.

“Yes,” She answered with a smile.

“Let’s go love,” John sighed, getting up, finishing his drink before getting his coat on while Y/N bid her goodbyes to Arthur and Tommy.

On the way home Y/N and John didn’t talk which made Y/N slightly worried. John usually is pretty chatty when they walk home but that’s not the case here.

She tried grabbing his hand, and holding trying to comfort him. But that didn’t do anything as he snatched his hand away from her.

Y/N sighed as a frown graced her lips. She was confused and saddened by John's movements and silence.

Once they got home John went to the bathroom to get ready for bed not even mumbling a word to Y/N. She got ready for bed in the bedroom getting in her nightgown. She got a drink of water from the kitchen giving John some space before going back up stairs.

When she returned to the room she saw John sitting on the bed smoking a cigarette.

“Those are gonna kill you someday,” Y/N comments as she gets into bed. She slips under the cover leaning her arm on her pillow looking at John.

“M’not dead yet,” John smirks as he brings Y/N closer. She leans her head on his bare chest, drawing shapes on his upper chest.

“Don’t wanna lose you,” She whispers as John butts out the cigarette leaning down to give Y/N a kiss on the lips.

“Can’t get rid of me that easy love,” John smirked, brushing some of her hair behind her ear.

“Shame,” Y/N teases her lips brushing against his as she brings him in for another kiss.

Y/N gets up to straddle him while kissing him. His hands go to her hips and he massages them as they continue to make out.

They part, needing to breathe and once she’s caught her breath, Y/N leans in to kiss John's neck leaving hickeys in her trail. She begins to suck on his sweet spot.

She grabs his hand and leads it up the nightgown and to the inside of her thigh.

“I don’t want you hanging out with Michael anymore,” John blurts out as she continues to kiss his neck.

She pulls back and looks at him in disbelief. “Can’t this wait,” She says rubbing her hands up and down his chest.

“I don’t like the way he looks at you,” John interrupts her affections as he grabs her hands and puts them around his neck.

“Don’t you trust me,” Y/N asks, moving on his lap so she could stare at him.

“Of course I do,” John reassures. He doesn’t want her to think that he doesn’t trust her but he can’t help the way he feels.

“Then what’s the problem,” Y/N snaps as John rolls his eyes, Y/N was always stubborn and that’s one of the many qualities that he loved about her.

“Love,” He begins to say but she rolls off his body and turns away from. “Come on sweetheart talk to me,” He tried to pull her to his chest wanting to comfort her.

“I don’t know what the problem is,” Y/N whispers, turning around to look.

“I just want you all to myself,” John teases, trying to make her laugh or at least crack a smile. But she didn’t.

“Just because you don’t like the stuff I do doesn't mean I can’t talk to Michael about it,” She snaps turning around.

“Love-,” John whispers but is interrupted by her. He was trying to pull her into a hug to comfort her but she pulled away.

“No obviously you don’t trust me so why would I want to cuddle with you,” She explains closing her eyes trying to go to sleep. John sighs before turning on his other side.

The two lie in silence as they’re both pulled into sleep.

The next morning when John woke up he turned around to see that Y/N was gone from the bed. He sighed, running his hand through his hair frustrations running through his blood.

John got up to go to the bathroom before getting changed to go to work. Y/N must be there since she works there as his secretary.

Once John got to work he saw Y/N sitting at her desk working on something. He walked over to her and thought that she would look up when she heard him walking, but she didn’t.

“Love?” John questions, eyebrow furrowing.

“What,” Y/N snapped, not looking up from her desk.

“You weren’t in bed this morning I got worried,” John firmly says leaning his hands on the desks as she finally looks up at him.

“I wanted to get to work early,” Y/N flatly says shrugging her shoulders. “I’m sorry I should’ve told you,” She says crossing her arms over her chest.

John rolls her eyes at the attitude radiating from Y/N moving to his office where he sits down in the chair.

He runs his hand over his face and pinches the bridge of his nose. In reality John feels bad for trying to control her life he just feels so protective of her.

To get his mind off of her John starts to work for the day as Y/N worlds outside his office. The office was loud but John and Y/N were quiet to engorged in the work.

When dinner rolls around everyone goes to the Garrison for some drinks just leaving Y/N and John all alone.

For the past hours, Y/N has been sneaking looks at John to see what he’s doing. Whenever she got up she looked to see what he was doing. He either was working or joking around with his brothers.

Y/N doesn’t understand why John didn’t want her to be friends with Michael. He was his cousin and she would never do anything with him. Michael just shares the same interest with her.

But that doesn’t mean she is romantically or sexually interested. Sure he’s a good looking guy but he isn’t John.

She walked up to the door and knocked on the side of the wall getting his attention.

“What’s wrong love,” John asks, his eyes full of confusion.

“I just wanted to solve this conflict between us,” Y/N says walking in the office slowly. “I know you mean well, but when you say crap like that it makes me feel like you don’t trust me,” She sits on the edge of the desk in front of him.

“Love this isn’t you this is me,” John states grabbing her hands. “Whenever you’re with him, it makes me feel like you like him better love.”

“I would never think that I don’t like anyone better than you,” Y/N squeezes his hands in reassurance. John smirks and stands up as he slides Y/N over so she’s sitting in front of him.

“Even better than Michael,” John asks in a whisper. She can feel a shiver go down her spine as he asks the question.

“Much better,” She whispers. John finally closes the space between them by kissing her. She wraps her arms around his neck as his hands go to her thighs.

The dress she was wearing was getting rode up from him standing. His hands were moving up and down her thighs giving them a squeeze every once and awhile. Meanwhile his lips traveled to her neck and started kissing and sucking her neck.

John's thumb rubs against her panties which were already damp from the teasing. His thumb sought out her clit and began to rub the nub hard.

“John,” Y/N moans leaning her head back as he bites her neck.

“Who makes you feel this way love,” John smirks and bits her ear. His hands slide her underwear off and throws them across the room. His fingers return to her core and drags his fingers through her folds. “Come on, answer the question,” He probes, wanting an answer.

John slips a finger inside making Y/N whimper as she leans her head on his shoulder. He slowly slides his finger in and out, also curling his finger to hit her g spot.

“You do Johnny,” Y/N whimpers, wanting him to go faster. She tries to meet his slow thrusts but his other hand holds her down.

“Hmmm,” John hummus moving his finger faster and adding a second one. She moans and clenches around his fingers. “I’m glad to hear that love,” He whispers in her ear as he continues to finger her. His thumb returns to her clit and rubs fastly.

His fingers start to go faster as John chases her orgasm. His thumb doing figure eights on her which sends sparks to her core.

“You gonna cum,” John asks, his tone breathy as he whispers in her ears. Y/N whines as he stops his pace but she’s still clenching around him.

“Yes please,” Y/N begs now knowing he won’t start his movements until she answers his questions.

“Good girl,” John whispers as he starts his movements again. His fingers curl to meet her g spot while his thumb returns to her clit. Only this time he’s going faster than he did before.

“John,” Y/N moans loudly as his fingers haven’t slowed down his pace. She could feel it. She could feel her orgasm about to come. Y/N kept clenching around his fingers.

“Cum,” John demands and just one swipe of his thumb against her clit made her spasm around John's fingers.

“John,” She moans loudly as she clenches around his fingers and for a second she could almost see stars. Her breathing calms down after her orgasm dies down and she rests her head on his shoulder.

“That feel good love,” John asks with a smirk after a few seconds.

“Definitely,” Y/N breaths out as she calms down. “Okay your turn now,” She says with a smirk about to get on her two feet before John kept her on the desk.

“No love tonight’s all about you,” John's word goes straight to her core.

“But-,” Y/N tries to say but is interrupted. All she wanted to do was pleasure him like he did to her.

“Come on love I just want to pleasure you,” John digs down on the chair and puts his hands on her thighs. She clenches even though John hasn’t done anything to her again.

She nods and lets him spread her legs as he moves his chair closer to the table. John starts to kiss the inside of her thigh. As he’s peppering kisses on her thigh Y/N lets

“Johnny,” Y/N whines as he keeps biting and kissing her thighs. He smirks and kisses her clutching making her whimper. He starts to lap at her clit as she starts to feel that spark in her stomach again.

“John,” She moans as she tugs on his hair. He brings his tongue to her folds and drags it back to her clit where he gives the nub a harsh suck. “Oh god,” She moans loudly, wrapping legs around his neck.

John continues to suck on her clit leaving only to breath and then starts to lap at the sensitive nub. She can feel it start to come.

“John I’m about to cum,” Y/N warns as she tugs on his hair. John nods and continues to suck on the nub not caring. And only a few seconds she spasms around nothing as she tugs on his hair even harder. The orgasm goes through her.

Y/N lets out a happy sigh as John removes himself from her core loving the way she moaned for him.

“Hope that felt good love,” John says with a smirk as he stands up to kiss her straight after. Y/N lets out a surprised noise before kissing him back. She notes to herself that she can taste herself on his lips as he slips his tongue between her lips.

She brings her hands to his trousers and begins to unbuckle his belt. John chuckles against her lips.

“You sure you can take another darling,” John asks with a smirk. She nods as she pulls down his pants and boxers just enough so she can grab his hard on. “God darling I almost forgot the hard grip you got,” He smiles as she drags her hand down his cock.

John removes her hand from his cock and drags his tip along her wet folds which make her whine and John let out a groan.

“You ready sweetheart,” John asks as he pauses in front of her entrance.

“Yes please,” Y/N pleads, dragging her hands down his chest. John nods before finally entering her with a hard thrust.

Y/N lets out a loud moan as he pulls out and slams in hard hitting her g spot. She moans John's name like a prayer as he continues at a fast rate.

For him it’s hard since he’s been hard ever since she came into his office. With her clenching around him didn’t help either.

“That feel good,” John whispers as he grabs Y/N’s thigh and hoists it to his waist and his other arm goes across her back to keep her from falling on the desk. He keeps his pace at a hard rate. “Answer the question love,” He demands groaning in between when she clenches around him.

“Yes it feels so good,” She moans as his thumb drags along her clit. She brings her arms around his neck as he continues to thrust himself inside her.

“Hey John- oh my god I didn’t mean to interrupt,” Y/N heard Michaels voice come through the doorway. Just great she thinks.

Y/N would think he would stop thrusting and pull his pants up but that’s not what he did at all. He kept thrusting inside her making her let out tiny moans.

“What’s the question,” John demands as he continues to fuck Y/N on the desk while looking in Michaels direction with his cocky look on his face. Michael is visibly uncomfortable.

“Tommy wanted to know when you’d be at the Garrison,” Michael asks, clearing his throat avoiding eye contact and looking around the room

“Soon,” John promises as Y/N can feel herself about to cum and he brings his thumb back to her clit and starts massaging it fastly.

Michael nods and almost runs out as John goes faster filled with confidence.

“John,” Y/N moans loudly as he thrusts harder than before. She leans her neck back as she clenches right around him which makes him groan into her neck.

He continues to fuck her to get his orgasm and when he does he moans loudly into her ear and lets out his load inside her.

“John why’d you do that,” Y/N shoves his shoulder and winces as he pulls out of her sensitive pussy.

“You didn’t seem to mind,” John smirks pulling his boxers and trousers up and doing up his belt. Y/N rolls her eyes as John hands her, her underwear. She gets up putting them on and smoothing her dress out.

“Don’t forget Johnny you’re the only one I want.”

“I think half of Birmingham heard that love.”

#john shelby x you #john shelby blurb #john shelby headcanon #john shelby one shot #john shelby smut #john shelby x oc #john shelby imagine #john shelby x reader #john shelby #peaky blinders x you #peaky blinders x reader #peaky blinders blurb #peaky blinders smut #peaky blinders #tw smut #tw angst

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bitsandbobsofwriting · 3 years

Text

The Magic Reveal fic we deserve, in which Merlin gets as angry as he deserves to get:

Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5

Don’t get me wrong I LOVE a magic reveal with a Merlin who feels bad about lying. I love a reveal with Arthur being furious and Merlin crying but then they talk it out and all is well. I think it's pretty in-character for Merlin to want to see Arthur come to his own conclusions about magic, without being influenced by Merlin’s opinions

BUT I also kinda wanna see Merlin get angry? Like, why should he feel bad about hiding himself in a kingdom where "himself" gets him nothing but a pyre?? Yeah, he and Arthur are close, but unless you've lived with a secret like that (one that will get you shunned, hated, or even killed) then, and I CAN'T STRESS THIS ENOUGH, it doesn't matter How Close you are with someone, how certain you are that they would never hurt you, or care either way, it will almost ALWAYS be scary to tell them. So like. Let Merlin get angry:

I'd say Arthur has been king for maybe a year at this point. He's still a new monarch, still a lot on his plate, BUT also still plenty of time for him to have repealed the ban on magic, or at least started working on it.

But he hasn't.

Granted he hasn't executed anyone in a while (banishments and prison time are the norm, executions are only used nowadays for high treason). BUT the law still remains, it's still technically punishable by death, to be a sorcerer.

Arthur and Merlin have little hunting trips, when Arthur is getting too stressed and losing too much sleep, when he trains the knights too hard and snaps at even Gaius, Merlin (or sometimes even Leon, if they're both being grumpy arseholes) insists that they leave the city for a day or more, to go hunting.

The council have been told it's so the King can keep up with his fitness, can keep familiar with his lands, and keep his skills sharp (he only has enough time to train with the knights a couple times a week nowadays, a far cry from the several hours he used to do every morning without fail), and that keeps them satisfied.

The Gang (the Knights, Gwen, Gaius, and Morgana (she's good in this because that's what I want let me have this)) know the truth, that sometimes the two of them just need a few days to goof off and be themselves, to finally get some time to relax. They'll grab a couple hares and maybe a stag on the way back if they can, so they can at least pretend that's what they've been doing the whole time.

These trips can last anywhere between a day, to two weeks, and Arthur leaves the same set of instructions with the council and the knights every time:

"The safety of Camelot’s people is your highest priority. I leave Sir Leon in charge of everything to do with the knights, patrol, and should any form of conflict arise. If there is an emergency, you are to consult the Inner Council (I don’t know if that's a thing but let's say it is; its The Gang), and send a squire on horseback to fetch me immediately. There's one boy in the troupe who always manages to track me the down the quickest, so make sure he's the one sent, Sir Leon knows who I speak of."

(He's improved over the years, but Arthur is still very... cagey, when it comes to compliments, and his trust. Leon will never mention it, but the fact that Arthur leaves the safety of the kingdom to him, without hesitation or worry, makes him feel greatly honoured. That is the highest form of trust Arthur is capable of giving.)

ANYWAY I feel like most of this has just been backstory so let's get into it:

Normally it's Merlin or Leon who demand that the trip needs to happen.

This time

It's Arthur.

Arthur has tried to ignore it (he's trying to get better but he's not great with emotions and stuff, the big dummy) but Merlin has been in a sour mood for weeks now. He's been quiet and withdrawn, snappy, and has been avoiding Arthur whenever possible.

At first it was easy to ignore, when it started a few months ago it was barely noticeable to anyone who didn't know the two of them Very Well, but in the last few weeks it's become a problem.

Arthur reckons a trip might do them some good. Merlin can relax, and will either get over whatever is bothering him, or be comfortable enough to talk to Arthur about it.

So they head out. Merlin doesn't seem too happy about the trip but he doesn’t complain.

(Odd in itself, if Merlin is unhappy about something he usually makes it known.)

The first couple of days are... odd, to say the least. It seems that every time Arthur notices Merlin relax, he quickly tightens up again. One short, joking conversation is followed by a few more hours of painful, awkward silence.

Arthur comes to the daunting realisation, that if he wants to help is friend (and the love of his life but like... baby blondie has hardly reached that conclusion himself, he might need a bit more time on that) is to confront it head on.

So they're settling down in the evening. The fire is roaring, the horses have been fed and watered, dinner has been eaten, and the two of them are sat at opposite ends of the fire (Very Odd, they're usually glued at the hip, especially when it's just the two of them).

Arthur looks at his friend properly for the first times in a while and he Does Not Like what he sees.

Merlin is visibly exhausted, big bags under his eyes, and his skin paler than normal, scowling ever so slightly into the fire. Shoulders tense, and hands gripping each other until the skin on his knuckles is white. And despite all that, Arthur thinks that Merlin looks more sad, than angry.

Maybe Merlin notices Arthur's staring, they hold eye contact for a little while before Merlin becomes sort of... resigned?? To the fact that he's gonna have to have this conversation whether he wants it or not? He goes to say something but before he can, Arthur interrupts him:

"So Merlin. How do you think I'm doing so far?"

(Which is a stupid thing to say, really. But Arthur is, as we've already established, extremely emotionally constipated, and he figures that finding out what's wrong with Merlin indirectly, and then subtly fixing it behind his back, is a far better idea than asking him to his face.)

Merlin clenches his jaw and looks away it this, his reply and his body language clearly sending different messages:

"You know what I think. You're going to be a great king."

Arthur thinks : "(Going to be? I've been king for a year, there's been no war and far fewer attempts on my life than when I was a prince. There's been a good harvest, all diplomatic meetings have gone well, and more peace treaties, and trade agreements, have been signed in the last twelve months, than in the ten years before it. I know I can still do better but... does Merlin not think I'm good?")

Arthur says : "Going to be? I think I'm a pretty great King already if I do say so myself."

"Then why ask? Besides. There are a few things you haven't done."

Merlin's tone is biting, even though he tries to force it out casually. Arthur notices. ”There are a few things you haven't done”... that means something specific.

"Hmm. I suppose. What things did you have in mind then, Merlin?"

Arthur also tries to sound casual, but the question comes out very pointed

Merlin desperately doesn't want to say it out loud, in fear of revealing too much of himself, so he goes with the vague answer of:

"Promises were made. I guess I just figured you weren't the type to break them, that's all. I'm sure you'll get there in time."

Merlin sounds sort of hopeful there. But the sort of hope that he's been living with for years, the sort of hope that has a layer of sadness and resignation laying over the the top like a tablecloth.

Arthur notices:

"Promises?" He doesn’t want to talk too much or too loudly, in fear that Merlin realises that he's speaking openly and clams up again.

Arthur has realised, over the last year or two, that despite their closeness, despite the endless conversations they seem to have, he doesn't really know all that much about Merlin. He knows he doesn’t spend as much time picking herbs, or in the tavern, as he and Gaius would claim. He doesn't know his favourite colour, or season, or holiday. He doesn't know when abouts his birthday is, or what he likes eating. He doesn't know much about his childhood, he's never mentioned his father.

(Despite all this, he's still in love with the idiot, but again, a revelation for another time.)

Merlin responds "To the druids. You promised they would be welcomed, that magic would return. I know your opinions on magic-"

(The manservant visibly shuffles at this, uncomfortable.)

"-but I figured a promise is a promise. Keeping your word had always seemed so important to you. Before."

Arthur notices the past tense. Like Merlin doesn’t believe that Arthur holds importance to his word anymore:

"I'm not my father Merlin. There have been no executions just for the sake of it since I took the crown."

Merlin’s reply comes quickly, in a harsh tone:

"Yes I know that. But your fathers law still remains. It's technically still punishable by execution just to exist as a sorcerer in your kingdom."

(Arthur notices the thinly veiled disgust in Merlin's voice when he mentions Uther. Arthur knew that Merlin disliked the previous king, but he didn’t think he hated him that much.)

Merlin is getting more and more visibly frustrated at this point. Both at Arthur, and the topic of conversation, but also at himself, for letting himself become so worked up over something he'd sworn to keep Arthur away from.

"You really didn't like my Father did you Merlin?" He says it with a chuckle, trying to keep the conversation light and casual.

(This is NOT a conversation that should be light and casual, his friend is in pain, and revealing more of himself than he ever had before, this should be serious. But Arthur isn't quite sure how to do that, so inappropriately light and casual is what he goes for.)

Merlin responds with a quiet, but forceful:

"I hated him. I still do. He's your father, I know that you're not him, and I know you can't help your heritage. But I'll never forgive Uther for what he did. And I'm not angry that he's...gone."

Arthur's very much taken aback at that. He knows everyone has... strong opinions on Uther, but they've never voiced it in front of him.

"Why?? I mean I know he put you in the stocks a couple of times, but so have I to be fair. Why do you hate him so much?"

(This is the point Merlin gets angry. Or angrier. This is when he stops trying to hide it, stops trying to hold it in. Arthur hadn't gotten angry at Merlin for talking about Uther in such a way, he was just curious. Merlin had been planning on telling him the truth at some point anyway, so he might as well do it now, with no one else around, and Arthur in a goodish mood.)

Merlin jumps up, clenching his fists and staring Arthur in the eye for the first time since the start of the conversation, breathing deeply.

Arthur is taken even further aback at Merlin's sudden unwillingness to hide his true reaction to the topic at hand, but he doesn't say anything, and just waits for Merlin’s response

"Why?? Why do I hate him? Maybe because he was blinded fear and selfish hatred."

Merlin stops and looks away, but doesn't sit down, still tense.

I imagine he's waiting for Arthur to say something, but he doesn’t, opting to wait for Merlin to carry on himself, unwilling to remind Merlin exactly who he was talking to, and about what.

After a few moments of silence, Merlin continues, getting angrier with each word as he paces:

"Your father, the Great King Uther, murdered thousands of people. He committed genocide, because he insisted on blaming other people for his own mistakes. He didn't pay attention to the fine print, and killed his own wife and in return, he executes THOUSANDS of MY people. Just for daring to exist. He was so full of hatred, but he, of course, was infallible so it MUST have been someone else's fault. He was incapable of admitting his own mistakes and the injustice that went unpunished is indescribable, he was a tyrant, and a murderer, and I'll never forgive him."

(Arthur knows the truth about what happened to his Ma in this story, I don’t know how, he just does. And it's a topic of conversation he avoids like the plague.)

At the end of his little outburst, Merlin stills. He is shaking as he glares at the floor, and is more furious than Arthur has ever seen him before.

The King notices the little slip up.

"Your people?" He says, so quietly it's a wonder Merlin hears it.

Merlin freezes at this, at the realisation that there's no real way he can play this off. He was planning on telling him at some point anyway. They're miles away from the city in the middle of a large, barely tamed forest. If he needs to run for his life, he could get away easily enough.

"Yes Arthur. My people. You really should've let me speak first."

Arthur is reminded of the fact that Merlin had opened his mouth to say something, before he'd interrupted him at the beginning of the conversation. It felt like it was hours ago now, but it was really only a few minutes.

The King isn’t nearly as shocked as he thinks he should be. He knew there was something odd and secretive about Merlin, and he'd considered that he might have magic in the early days, but that hadn't been a genuine consideration for years.

He wants to be angry, and selfish, and furious at Merlin for lying to him all this time. But after hearing Merlin’s little speech, does he really have any right to?

Yes, Arthur hadn't executed any sorcerers, but he also hadn't changed the law. He hadn't stood up to his father and he certainly hadn't tried to stop the executions before he was King himself. Can he really blame Merlin? For being scared? For being angry?

"You're a sorcerer." It's not a question. It's a statement. In his mind he knows the truth, but it needs to be confirmed, out loud, by Merlin himself, before they can move the conversation on.

"Yes."

And that's all he says. Arthur waits. And when he's tired of waiting, when he realises that Merlin isn't just gonna carry on talking this time, he speaks up:

"And?"

"And what, Arthur? What do you want me to say? That I'm sorry I lied? Yes, I feel bad for lying to you, but I'll never apologise for protecting myself in a kingdom that would see me burn. And I would do it again in a heartbeat"

Arthur nods. He's tense, but he notices that he isn't scared and he wonders why, after all, as far as he was aware magic had only (almost only) caused him pain and fear.

(In the back of his mind he knows why he's not scared. Merlin doesn't have an evil bone in his body, and he's met the druids, he knows that some magic users are peaceful.)

He looks up at Merlin to see him staring at him, a sort of challenging look on his face, like he was daring Arthur to prove him right. Daring him to be selfish, and angry, and just like his father.

But when Arthur looks deeper. Really Looks at Merlin. He sees the fear, Arthur has no doubt in his mind that Merlin could escape, or even fight him off, now, if he needed to. But Merlin is scared.

If that wasn't enough to break Arthur's heart, the quick glance that Merlin throws to the space a few feet from Arthur's side, is.

Arthur looks over slowly, eyebrows furrowed, to see what Merlin glanced at so fearfully. His heart shatters when he realises what it is. Arthurs sword, sat underneath his bag, just out of his reach. Merlin thinks Arthur is going to kill him. Merlin is scared. Of Arthur.

Arthur looks back at Merlin, disbelief and gut wrenching sadness on his face. He resists the urge to jump up (knowing it would just panic Merlin) as he speaks, trying to keep his tone calming, but it comes out rushed and desperate anyway:

"I'm not going to hurt you Merlin, I swear. I'm...sorry, if my actions and words have led you to believe that I would EVER see any harm come to you."

It's over the last minute, the anger and fear from Merlin, that forces Arthur to realise the legacy he's dealing with. That Uther had done so much damage, had struck so much fear into Merlin, that it didn't matter how close they were. Any subtle, deliberate ignorance of the law wasn’t enough. Any small compliments, or defence of Merlin, wasn't enough.

As long as the law remained, as long as Arthur left his fathers legacy intact, with not even a small attempt to dismantle it, Merlin would be scared of him.

Merlin relaxes only slightly at Arthur's words, gulps, and glances once more at the sword before sitting down again. He’s still tense as he stares into the fire once more.

"All these years you've been putting your life at risk, to stay at my side. You could've quit at any time. You could've stayed in the relative safety of Ealdor, but you didn't. Why? I want to know everything Merlin. You... you mean a great deal to me, and it pains me to see you in fear. And I know it's no one’s fault but my own, and I want to fix it. So the whole story, from the beginning, I want to know."

It's Merlin’s turn to be taken aback now. In his mind, everything he's said and done in the last few minutes should be making Arthur angry. The disrespect of Uther, the tone of voice he had taken, the shouting. All of that even before the admittance of his greatest secret. But still Arthur wasn't angry, he was confused, and maybe hadn't quite processed it yet, but mostly he was just sad, sad that Merlin had to be angry on his own. Sad that Merlin had to be fearful on his own.

So he does. He starts at the beginning. His mother sending him to Camelot so Gaius could train him. Saving Arthurs life that first banquet. Saving his life again a few days later. And again. And again. And again

He talks about all the small insignificant magicks he did: cheating at dice games and keeping Arthur's bath water warm and making sure the fire stays lit through the night and helping the knights sleep when they're out and about.

He talks about all the big magicks he did: killing Nimueh and being the last Dragon-Lord and Balinor being his father, and all the great battles he had won and all the times he'd saved Arthur when Arthur hadn't even realised he'd been in danger.

He talks about everything in between. About every lucky fallen branch and every lucky rockslide and every lucky solution that wouldn't have worked without Merlin... nudging it in the right direction.

He talks and talks and talks until his throat is sore. And Arthur stays silent, unwilling to interrupt, listening intently and saving any questions and queries until the end.

After an hour or so, Merlin hesitates, but Arthur can tell that there's something else. Something he's not saying. Something that in Merlin's mind, is the scariest truth of all. So he stays silent, and waits for Merlin to continue:

"The old man that you think killed your father. Dragoon, the sorcerer who kept popping up but was never in the same room as me? That was me, in disguise."

He looks nervous at this and looks up at Arthur. Before, he'd been explaining everything with a blank but resolute look on his face, still staring into the fire (that hadn't been fed in well over an hour, but was still going strong).

Arthur just looks surprised, he'd never considered that Dragoon had been anyone but himself.

"I tried Arthur. I may have hated your father but I tried to save him. But the pendant around his neck stopped it from working and healing magic has never been my strong point anyway. I really did try."

Arthur nods at this. He figured there had been no reason for the old sorcerer to kill his father, and after consulting Gaius and realising the truth about the pendant, he didn't blame him. Though he never told anyone, not even Merlin, why would he? His manservant had never even met the guy.

"I know. I'm sorry, it can’t have been easy, thinking I blamed you for his death all these months. I'm sorry Merlin."

Merlin looks surprised but quietly grateful. Over the course of the last hour of explanation he had slowly become more and more relaxed, realising that Arthur really meant it when he said he wasn't going to hurt him, and just wanted the truth.

Merlin was still scared, and a big part of him still believed he'd probably be banished at the least at the end of this conversation. But it still felt good to get it off his chest.

"But you still haven't answered my question. Why? We didn't know each all that well those first few weeks. Months even. We practically hated each other at the beginning. But you stayed anyway. Despite hating me and despite being in constant danger. Why?"

Merlin once again hesitates at this. He tried his best but even after all these years, he's not quite sure how to navigate conversations about destiny, especially his own, and especially how it's tied so intrinsically with Arthur’s.

Instead he says:

"What do you know about Emrys?" He really needs a starting reference for this part of the conversation, and at this point, the best way to get it is to ask directly.

Arthur goes to question why, but Merlin has been nothing but honest and straight forward with him, so he trusts that it’s important, and answers truthfully:

"Not much. A few Druids have mentioned him to me before. Apparently they've been seeing him in prophetic dreams for centuries, the Druids have quite a few "seers" in their ranks. He's meant to be some great sorcerer, whose destiny it is to bring Magic and peace to Albion, with some King or other at his side. I never payed much attention to it, I hardly believe in visions of the future."

Merlin nods at that:

"You've got most of it. Emrys is meant to be the most powerful Warlock to ever walk the earth, past, present, and future. When Uther started culling sorcerers, an astronomical amount of magic was poured back into the earth all at once. The Triple Goddess took that magic and put it all in one place, in one unborn baby, in the hope that said baby would grow into his power, and restore balance and compassion to the world. The Druids call him Emrys but it's just a title, like King, or Sir, not his real name. He, and the Once and Future King, are meant to rule with the support of one another, uniting all of Albion under the King’s rule, and bringing magic back into the land. Emrys and the Forever King, two sides of the same coin, their destinies interwoven."

Merlin goes silent at that, and Arthur thinks he knows where this is going, but he Needs the confirmation:

"What's that got to do with anything?" is quietly muttered.

"You're the Forever King Arthur. And I am Emrys. Though it's weird enough when the druids call me that so just... let's stick with Merlin alright?"

"All those times you said I would be a great King, all those times you had unfailing faith in me, was because of destiny?"

Arthur tries not so sound hurt, but he’s never cared for, or believed, in destiny. Up until now he'd thought Merlin had had faith in him as Arthur, his friend, not as some prophetic Once and Future King that Arthur was afraid he would never be.

"At first, sure. I was angry, that my destiny had been decided for me. That I couldn't just ignore it because if I did then the world would never know peace. I never asked for that responsibility I just wanted... I just wanted to keep my mother safe. I wanted to learn how to be a physician and use my magic to help and entertain and brighten the world. Just a little bit. And suddenly I had this big important role to play. I hated it. But I did it anyway, kept you safe. And then I got to know you as a person and you weren't your father. You Love Camelot, you Love your people, you're a good man who does everything in his power to help those around him, even if they don't deserve it sometimes. And suddenly, having my destiny be to help you to greatness... well, it didn't seem so bad anymore. Maybe it was your destiny to be that Great King from prophecy, because you were already a good man."

Arthur is speechless at that. Tears gather in his eyes but neither of them mention it and he doesn't let them fall. Merlin had been almost as nice as that in the past, but never so fully, and with the weight of the truth behind it, it seemed much more meaningful.

Merlin gives him a sad smile before he continues:

"I'm your servant until the day I die Arthur. I have faith that one day, you'll do the right thing."

Arthur suddenly remember the whole point of this conversation. That Merlin was upset and angry that he hadn't repealed the ban on magic yet, that Merlin was still waiting on him. Waiting on him to do the right thing. Waiting on him to fulfil his destiny.

Maybe they head straight home? Merlin walks into Arthur's chambers the next morning to find him already up and pacing, making a start on the repeal?

Maybe Arthur demands they go to the closest Druid settlement so he can consult them on how he should go about it? Merlin’s knowledge of magic is great and all, but neither of them were alive before the purge, neither know how it would work practically.

All I know, is whenever Merlin first comes across Arthur working on the repeal, determination in his eyes, he cries a little. That everything he sacrificed is finally paying off.

I also know, that the first time Arthur timidly asks Merlin to show him something magical (maybe that's straight after this tiring conversation, or maybe its days later, back in the safety of Arthur's locked chambers) Merlin cries even harder, Arthur is still scared of magic, how could he not be. But he loves and trusts Merlin more than anything in this world, and he wants to learn to not be scared anymore.

THIS IS COMPLETED!!

All 5 parts have been posted:)

If y’all want my thoughts on anything specific, let me know✌

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spiked-tea-writing · 3 years

Text

and they were roommates?!

SapnapxFem!Reader

Summary: Imagine being in love with your roommate, couldn't be you.

Pronouns: She/her

Warning: Swearing

Word Count: 2.3k

A/n: I don’t watch or know anything, I just like these people and I had a concept. Also, he and Dream aren’t roommates in this for the sake of I can’t figure that out. Also also, my timeline is probably fucked but who cares

The dynamic in the apartment was...interesting to say the least

In the two years of living together, it had shifted a lot

In the beginning, you and Sapnap had been... less than cordial to each other

Both eighteen, fresh out of high school, off to college thinking that you knew everything.

There was lots of fighting, to say the least.

All of the “No it’s your turn to vacuum”, and “I swear to god Sapnap I will punt you halfway across the world if you eat my pineapple again”

The only reason you didn’t slit each other’s throats was that if the other person was dead, who would pay rent?

It was the summer before college started at the time, and you were working long hours minimum wage so coming]’/ home to an annoying prick caused a crap ton of conflict

After a few months of being little bitches to each other, y’all got piss drunk in the apartment and it all just sorta fell apart

Got that good drunk therapy, spilling your deepest secrets

(y’all were underage but shhh)

So by the time college started, the two of you had become actual friends and started enjoying each others company

A few months into the friendship, you encouraged him to post the video of “Minecraft, but it’s Raining Cats and Dogs” on a whim

Lmao little did you know what you had created (we’ll get to that later)

You mocked his train of thought constantly, laughing at the timing of it all.

“Ahhh yes, I am Sapnap, the genius who thought it’d be great to become a YouTuber while in my first year of college.”

He’d always just laugh and roll his eyes, playfully shoving you while stealing your chips.

The next few months were a haze of studying, work, and him.

It was truly a friendship of convenience since you guys were so busy, him starting his youtube career, and you working restaurants, then school on top of that, it was just easy to find friendship in your roommate.

Of course, he had his close friends which he spoke to over the internet, and you had your friends from back home, but as for college, it really was only him.

You guys had a fun time just hanging around the apartment, and it became so easy to be friends with him

And it WAS truly platonic (we’ll get back to that as well)

The best thing he brought to the friendship was his animals

You got on fabulously with Cash and the cats

They were all so cuddly and honestly loved you more than him lmao

You guys were just trying to get degrees and not be too stupid, was that too much to ask???

Well to a certain 2020, it was

The beginning of that year was great.

He was sorta realizing that he liked putting himself on social media, but on top of that, it seemed like a great start to a year.

February brought him to twitch, which you loved

You found it hilarious how he would just sorta play games and have people watch him live.

But you were incredibly supportive, as a friend, of course

He really liked it so, you tried to ignore the shouting at three am, and the loud anthems at night

Sure you’d give him hell in the morning, but why kill his fun?

March started great, as it was his birthday.

You got him a glittery lighter as a gag, but it was the perfect gift for a broke-ass college student

Then a certain pandemic came a-knockin’ on y’all’s door

It was a hard hit on both of you.

An executive decision was made that you two would stay put, but being away from your families was incredibly tough.

That spring was the birth of The SMP.

It brought him so much joy, which in turn made you happier.

The rest of the school year was a blur of zooms and test

Nick nearly killed you on multiple occasions when you made fun of the fact that he was learning computer science over the computer or made him help you figure out what the fuck zoom was since it was tangentially related to his major

“SAP HELP ME YOU SHOULD KNOW THIS ITS YOUR FUCKING MAJOR!!!”

“NO, IT’S- AHHHHHHHHH”

Yall got more than a handful of noise complaints shhhh

That summer was fill was spent trying to fill the time in weird ways

Note to self, he can’t cook (which you learned the hard way)

Yall spent so much time trying to cook and bake, then sweating off the calories working out with The Fitness Marshall lmao

As sucky as the situation was, that summer was so incredibly fun for the both of you, and truthfully the only arguments were about what music to blast

“Y/n I swear if I listen to Cosmicandy one more time I will drown you.”

“Well if I hear American Idiot one more time someone’s knee caps are getting harvested.”

(that argument was settled with Elton John.)

When school started up again that fall, something shifted

After a year of actual friendship, you guys were no longer just friends, and the tension was so thick it could be cut with a knife

You had watched every single one of his streams since day one, but within 2 seconds of his Love or Host, you felt the need to hurl for some peculiar reason

It was bizarre because there was no way you could ever like him, of course not.

Within the apartment, you guys suddenly got a lot more touchy, but only because it was getting cold with winter and all that jazz.

It wasn’t because yall were secretly in love, what is this, a romcom?

The number of times you guys woke up on the couch, definitely not cuddling was too many to count

You started sitting in his room while he streamed, definitely not watching him with heart eyes because of how excited he got

He always had a pot of coffee full and a 6-pack of monster in the fridge since he knew you ran on spite and caffeine, and definitely not so that he could spend more time with you in the early hours of the morning.

The laundry started getting all mixed around, resulting in just sharing any sweats, hoodies, or socks.

The same thing went for food.

No longer was anything labeled with a name, if it was in the fridge, it was fair game (unless there was a post-it because come on, yall weren’t monsters)

But no, y’all were just roommates, not dating, lets make that clear.

Feelings? We don’t know her.

This entire time, his friends have had to hear about you rip.

But they got front row seats to your relationship development

“OMG my roommate is the worst she ate all of the frozen strawberries”

“Y/n kidnapped Storm all day while she studied and I thought I lost the fucking cat asjvdk”

“I had to run down and talk to the landlord because we dropped a pot of pasta sauce all over the carpet and couldn’t get the damn stain out.”

“She is so nice in preparation for a family dinner zoom, she ran out to the local Filipino food place and pick stuff up.”

“Sorry I’m late I overslept and didn’t want to wake up Y/n.”

They weren’t stupid, and could clearly see how whipped he was.

Dream and Geroge teased him about it constantly.

“Woah, calm down Sap, you should probably tell her you love her before you propose.”

“Yeah Dream’s right, it’s kinda weird that you’re living together before ever dating.”

He always flushed and denied it with a shake of his head.

He wasn’t into you, are they crazy?

Quackity and Karl messed with him in more unorthodox ways

There are a solid number of clips where they are fake crying over how he’s cheating on them, and even more tweets to match

It only got worse when you met them accidentally.

He was chatting post-stream on a video channel with George, Dream, Karl, and Quackity, and just his luck, you came into his room.

Like of all the times you could walk in, it was the time he was with his five closest friends but I digress

“Yo I got some extra tips yesterday so I picked up some extra Red Bull if you want to do one of your weird all-nighter streams.”

“Y/n I’m on channel.”

“Oh shit sorry my b. Catch.”

All the guys heard was a thud and a groan from Sapnap as the six-pack hit him in the chest.

Dream was the one to recognize your name.

“WAIT IS THAT Y/N I WANT TO MEET THEM!”

You could hear Dream’s voice through his headphones

“Sap… who is that?”

“No one. I’ll be out in a sec to help with dinner.”

You could hear a British voice come through.

“Oh so we are no one now, huh.”

Another voice piped through.

“Common... ¿Qué intentas ocultar?”

You cut in.

“Your headset it shit my guy. I can hear everything. I’m down to talk to them.”

He let out a groan.

“Fine. But you’re gonna have to do the dishes tonight.”

“Deal. Now move.”

“What? No.”

“Fine bitch.”

You collapsed onto his lap, plucking the headphones off of him.

“Hello, Sapnap’s friends. I am Y/n. A pleasure to meet y’all. Can you hear me?”

You heard a series of laughs through the headset, and a voice came through.

“Yes, we can see you too. I’m Karl, it’s so nice to finally meet his girlfriend.”

A blush rose on both of your faces, and another voice came through.

“Yeah, we’ve heard lots about you. Plus we can’t see your face in that picture Sap sent us. I’m Quackity”

That remark stopped your embarrassment in its tracks.

“What the fuck? How do you guys know me? I’m not even his girlfriend? And what picture?”

Sapnap grabbed your arm to calm you down as another voice cut in, but his one you recognized as his friend Dream.

“Hey, it’s okay. He just talks about you a bit, and the picture I believe was of you holding like three cats with like a red bull can on your head.”

“Jesus fucking christ why do they have that photo??”

He looked guilty but chuckled.

“Because that photo is a damn masterpiece.”

Karl’s voice came back in with a giggled.

“Soooo, Y/n we’d love to hear about you. Specifically anything funny or embarrassing that you have learned by living with him.”

Sapnap let out a groan from behind you as you went off.

“WELL lemme tell y’all, he has no cooking knowledge, well I mean, now he does, but one time, about a year ago, I had I been keeping a pot of water boiling for about an hour, soft boiling eggs, cooing noodles, blanching bok choy, etc. but this fucking genius is like ‘oH tHe HaNdLe Is StIcKiNg OuT. LeMmE mOvE iT wItH mY bArE hAnD.’ Needless to say, he burnt the crap outta his hand and kept the bag of frozen blueberries on it for the entire night. It took me like a solid five seconds to actually help him because I was laughing.”

By the time you had finished that story, you had seen Nick roll his eyes like 5 five times while the rest of the guys were wheezing.

“Yeah, well remember the time you were trying to imitate Rapunzel after we had watched it over Zoom with my sister, and you swung the edge of the frying pan into our head and got a nasty bump on it? At least I moved quick enough to put some ice on it.”

“Ice? It was the damn leftover Slushy that I had been freezing.”

“True, but you got to drink it after, so it was a win-win situation.”

“Sap, I had a bump the size of a golfball coming off of my temple. There was no winning.”

“Fine, you’re just making me sound like such a shit roommate.”

“No that’s not true, you do all of the talking to the landlord, and you at least tried to muffle the noise when you stream.”

“I guess that’s true, but you do like 80% of the cleaning.”

“Yeah but only because you’re working. Plus in the past 6 months, you’ve made coffee every morning, AND made sure I was taking my meds.”

“Those things aren’t that hard and I do it to make sure you don’t die because I lo- care about you.”

“What?”

You heard Dream’s wheeze laugh and remembered that you guys were still on call.

“Smooth.”

You both went red, and Sap moved his arm around you to leave the channel.

The next few moments were complete torture, the two of you just sitting in silence.

You were wondering if he meant what he was about to say and he was scared that you had heard it.

He was the one to break the silence. (mind you you’re still sitting on his lap lmao)

“I’m sorry about that.”

You weren’t sure how to respond. Should you ask him if he meant it? Because that wouldn’t be that bad. Or just pretend it never happened. Nah that’d be hella awkward. Or-

“I love you too.”

“You what?”

Wow, okay your brain is being a little bitch rn, but fuck it. Balls to the walls baby.

“I love you, and I have for a while now. I just want you to know.”

You finally looked him in the eye, and he was grinning like the Cheshire Cat.

“Thank god. I love you, and nearly fucking told you for the first time in front of my friends accidentally. Damn, I’m smooth.”

You laughed and he smiled wider.

“Can I kiss you?”

After a quick nod he swooped in and holy hell his lips felt great. His arm wound around your waist and your hands made their way to his jaw as he pulled you closer to him.

The only thing playing in your mind was “and they were roommates”

#sapnap x reader #sapnap #sapnapxreader #sapnap fluff #sapnap fanfic #sapnap fanfiction #sapnap x you #sapnap x y/n

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rosy-wooyoung · 3 years

Text

[04:38]

pairing: swimming captain! Y/N x rival swimming captain! Yunho genre: enemies-to-lovers (kinda?), suggestive, bad humour word count: 3.5k warning: first time writing something spicy and probably badly written, make-out session, fem!reader, swearing, lots of kissing and touching A/N: please be tolerant, it’s my first time writing something spicy. I hope I did good, I’m open to any constructive criticism 😊 feedback is appreciated :))

You woke up early this morning, ready to go to the swimming pool to practice. The sun wasn’t even up yet, and the dawn sent chills down your spine as the wind blew relentlessly. You grabbed your swimming bag and walked out of the door, zipping up your jacket to your chin and quickly walked to the swimming pool. It was only a few minutes away from your house, it was your only way to go there since the buses weren't operational yet.

When you arrived there, you quickly put on your swimsuit and tidied your stuff in your claimed locker, an essential element since you were a member of the swimming team. As you walked through the door that linked the changing room to the pools, you heard screams and water splashes. You frowned and blinked, the sleepiness remaining in your eyes made your vision slightly blurry. You had forgotten that today, your college was racing against one of the neighbouring towns. And the swimmers were already there, intensely practising as if it was the middle of the day.

You were confused and tired but you put on your cap and goggles anyway. Some swimmers looked down on you, but you couldn’t care less as you lowered yourself in the pool, rolling your eyes to oblivion. You were about to start swimming when someone jumped in the water next to you, giving you a taste of the cold water and the chlorine so early in the morning. You grimaced and sighed, wiping your mouth and shook your head as you recognised the figure emerging from the water.

Jeong Yunho, the captain of the rival swimming team. Your greatest enemy.

“Look who we got here, it’s our lovely captain Y/N,” he said with a mischievous smile. “Training hard?” Even if his words sounded kind, they weren’t. Everything coming out from his mouth had no intention to be nice towards you. You huffed and shook your head, again, sinking in the water and started to swim, slamming your feet against the water, purposefully splashing water on the young man's face.

You let out your frustration while doing your laps, never stopping. You didn’t want to give satisfaction to the rival team to nag you when you rested, degrading you and calling you names. You swam until the chlorine became your new fragrance, the chemical smell invading your nostrils and already drying your skin and scalp. When you allowed yourself to stop and grab your water bottle, you noticed that most of the college students were gone. You checked your wrist and noticed your locker key still hung to it, relieved that none of them will manage to go through your stuff. Sadly, it happened before. You were naive at that time, carelessly leaving your keys lying around. It became a mess to try and get all your stuff back when you found your locker empty, forcing you to walk home barefoot. One of your classmates, Seonghwa, was kind enough to lend you his jacket to cover your swimsuit to go home.

You were breathing deeply, and your thoughts were running in your mind as you blankly stared at the other end of the pool. Checking your pulse out of curiosity, you fixed the clock on the wall with a look and estimated your pulse. It was above average since you had swum so much without taking a break and you cracked your shoulders muscles as you made eye contact with a tall boy, who was fooling at the other end of the pool with his friends.

Still that damn captain, you thought. Your relationship with him was quite interesting, to say the least. You hated each other, you wished you could rip his cocky smile off his face and throw him in the pool. Everyone could see that you weren't the bestest friends, which was understandable since you were rival captains, but there was a sort of attraction between you two at the same time. Yunho seemed to take pleasure and entertainment in teasing you, always laughing as you tried to not take his jokes seriously, pushing him away or “accidentally” making him trip on your foot. You couldn’t resist his small remarks, always snapping back at him on every occasion, sometimes even creating a conflict between you two. Yunho was a proud boy, he always talked back, never letting you hurt his pride as much as you let him hurt yours. You had other worries to deal with, but deep down, you still felt hurt every time he and his friends teased or made snarky comments about you and your team.

He was standing at the other side of the pool with his friends, who were laughing and pushing each other, sometimes close to falling into the water. “What do they feed him to be this energetic at 4 am?” you mumbled to yourself as you deeply exhaled and swam again. Yunho stopped laughing as his classmates were starting to leave, keeping their energy for this afternoon’s competition. He heard the water moving from the third lane, a slim silhouette cutting through the water with long and muscular limbs.

He observed you moving like a dolphin and closed his eyes as you did a U-turn underwater to start a new lap, splashing water on him and his friends. They started to leave one by one, each going to shower before going back to sleep for a while. Yunho was the only one who stayed behind, still mesmerised by the way you swam. He was always goofing and joking around, but you were a water goddess in his eyes. He silently walked towards the side of the pool where you were massaging your foot, your body curled into a ball, entirely underwater. You reappeared at the surface with a grimace drawn on your face, still holding your cramping foot.

“Yunho, I’m really not in the mood for your fucking lame remarks,” you spat as you noticed a smirk on his face. It suddenly vanished when he heard the pain in your voice, jumping in the water next to you. “Give me your foot,” he ordered but you didn’t move. You rested yourself on the pool wall and stared at him, clutching your foot in pain. “Why?” you glared, suspicious of his ulterior motives. “Come on,” he said, looking at you, “I’m not going to snap your leg in half if that’s what you’re scared of.” "You could," your eyes squinted as you directly stared at him, "I don’t think you’d be unhappy to see me in clutches while you win all the local championships," you reluctantly extended your foot underwater, which he caught with ease and started applying pressure on the sole of your foot with the palm of his hand. A sharp pain shot through your muscles, making you hiss, but it started to fade as Yunho kept the pressure on your sole. After a few minutes in absolute silence, the pain disappeared.

"T-thank you," you grudgingly said to the man standing in front of you, retreating your leg from his grip. He smiled as he swiftly shook his hair to remove excess water from it. "You’re welcome," he shot a wink as you felt your heart skip a beat. Your self-control was fine so far, but it was now all over the place as the tall swimmer was near you. “You know,” he said, coming closer to you, trapping you between him and the swimming lane, “I like to tease you and annoy the crap out of you, it's really funny, but I will never, ever, try and purposely hurt you.” His voice was serious, and you had a better vision of droplets of water running down his muscular torso, which was a huge distraction of the conversation you were having. His lips were chapped and pinkish, contrasting with the paleness of his skin.

“You never know what people are ready to do when they want to win. I speak in full knowledge of the facts and you surely know it,” you stretched your arms in front of you to cool your muscles down as you completed your workout. “Oh really?” Yunho said, raising an interrogative eyebrow at your remark. “Yes," you rolled your eyes and stared at him, "I’m talking about your teammates during our first year. They ripped and my cap and goggles right before the race. I’m still mad that no one got in trouble for that.” You whispered your last sentence as you hauled yourself out of the pool, walking to the red plastic chair, your towel resting on top of it. You plunged your face in it, letting go of a big breath as you felt the tiredness of early morning and your workout kick in. “You know that I can’t do anything about it,” Yunho followed you, wiping the water running down his nose.

”Oh yeah, you might be surprised but there was and still is something you can do,” you looked up from your towel and stared at him straight in the eyes, “you could actually behave like a captain and treat me like one too, instead of the constant teasing you make me go through whenever we see each other. I can see that you like it, but I don't,” Yunho wants to interfere but you rose you pointing finger, “no, let me finish. I know you enjoy teasing me, it's annoying to see your fucking smile on your face when you laugh at me, and since we see each other pretty regularly, my team never takes me seriously. I can’t be taken seriously when I’m the captain and supposed to help them and give pieces of advice.” You stopped ranting, not knowing where you wanted this conversation to go. “Just keep your nasty remarks and teasing for someone else, someone who’s willing to go through the bullshit and teasing you make me go through every time we see each other. There’s no need to act like you are the king of the pool, everyone has eyes for you, even my mates and my teachers. It’s frustrating, sometimes even infuriating. So you either you leave me alone, or I quit, so you'll actually have the entire pool for yourself.”

You walked to the changing room without another word, even if you heard Yunho calling your name, jogging behind you.

“I’m sorry,” he said, gently catching your wrist to stop you, placing himself in front of the door as you sighed but didn’t push him away. “I never meant to hurt you, really. I never thought that it would hurt you that much, or that you would take anything seriously. I just thought that since we were captains, we could tease each other for fun. I've always done that with other captains when I was in high school and at the beginning of college too, but I should have noticed that it hurt you.” You were a bit suspicious at first, but when you saw his guilty yet serious expression, your features softened. He stepped closer, keeping the eye contact with you as a smile appeared on his face.

“I’ll stop teasing you, you have my word.” He declared as something in his eyes changed, but you couldn’t describe what it was. Even if you hated to admit it, Yunho was a handsome guy, girls swooning over his personality and muscular body when he was messing around the pool. You were quite oblivious of what was currently happening, but the situation wasn’t unpleasant. His hands linked behind his muscular back, he neared your face with his, his lips hovering above yours. “But now,” his voice was an octave lower, making you shiver, “what do you think our teams would say if they saw their captain kiss?” Your eyes widened at his words, never imagining that he was this kind of feeling for you. His hands left his back and landed on the damp skin of your waist, feeling surprisingly warm against your cold skin.

"Are you out of your mind?" you asked as he pushed you backwards, your shoulders coming in contact with the cold swinging door, making you stumble in the girls changing room. You were at a loss of words, too surprised by the current situation to make a single sound. “Hm, Y/N? What do you think?” Yunho repeated as your answer didn't satisfy him. “I just think that you shouldn’t be in the girls changing room,” you finally answered, earning a smirk from him. You couldn’t resist the intensity of his eyes, so you looked away, but Yunho didn't appreciate that. He grabbed your chin and forced you to look at him a few seconds in the eyes before lunging forwards and locking his lips with yours in a swift motion. He grunted as you pressed your hands on his abs, your tired muscles slightly giving in at the sudden new feeling. His arms landed on your waist as you pulled on the hair at the back of his head, earning a grunt from him. Feeling that you were kissing him back, Yunho didn't hesitate and took your response as the green light to let his hands explore your body.

The kiss was getting more and more intense and heated as minutes passed by. You were too caught up in the moment to care if someone walked in, too busy to make your mouths move in sync. Who comes to swim so early in the morning anyway?

You circled your arms around his neck as he hugged you even closer, the sheer fabric of your bathing suits being the only restrictions between your bodies. Yunho pushed you backwards, again, your back slowly colliding with the wall of a shower cubicle. He locked the door behind him after pulling you in it, trapping you in his arms as your mouths danced again together. Hands in his hair, sometimes pulling on it, you managed to earn a few other grunts from him.

Droplets of water fell on your faces as some entered your mouths, the taste of chlorine adding fuel to the already steamy exchange. You suddenly felt hotter when Yunho’s hands went from your waist to your ass, pushing up the fabric to get full access to your skin. Softly grasping the flesh before slapping your butt cheeks, you felt him smirk against your lips as you moaned loudly. His tongue took advantage of your slightly opened mouth to enter it, slowly dancing with your tongue, looking like they were shaped for each other.

Yunho broke the kiss and didn’t let you time to breathe as he was already attacking your jaw, slowly leaving a trail of kisses down to your neck and collarbones. You had made out in the past with your exes, but none of them made you feel as good as Yunho did. His hands and mouth were exploring your body, a sensation that you had never felt before. It was a very new sensation and your stomach did flips as his lips connected with the soft skin under your ear, tongue twirling on your shivering skin, his action increasing your arousal. You let out a moan as you caressed the nape of his neck, drawing him as close to you as possible. His kisses were addicting, you felt like a junkie who hasn’t had their drug in years, eyes rolling at the back of your head as goosebumps took over your body. It felt so good that you wanted to let the entire world know how good he was making you feel.

“Y-Yunho,” you whispered as you tried to get his mouth away from your skin, suddenly snapping back to reality, “we race this afternoon, I compete with a purple neck.” Yunho’s mouth came back up and kissed you on the lips to prevent you from further complaining. “I don’t care,” he grunted, drawing you closer by your neck, “I want to show everyone that you’re active. I want to show every single student there that you’re mine and mine only.” Gosh, he could be so competitive and greedy sometimes, you could only give in when he assaulted your neck, again. Your worries vanished, getting replaced by waves of pleasure flooding your veins.

The captain felt you shiver under his touch and he smirked, dragging you in the middle of the shower stall and turned on the water, the tap on the warm side. The water hitting your skin made you tremble even more, but it was a different kind of shiver. Throwing your head back, you gave Yunho more access to your neck and moaned his name as he found your soft spot, right under your ear. He turned you around, pressing you against the wall. His hands travelled the sides of your body up to your arms as he kissed your shoulder blades, teeth grazing on the skin. Spinning around to face him, you held on his shoulders for your dear life as he passionately kissed you again, his lips being your new obsession. They needed to be against yours to make you feel satisfied.

But you had enough, it was your turn to feel him up and explore his body. Your hands travelled down his torso, touching his strong abs and his happy trail, going dangerously south as he groaned at the pleasant feeling. He stopped kissing you, making you open your eyes, only to find him hungrily looking at you, biting his lower lip in the process.

"You're so fucking hot," he whispered, and you stared at him, smirking as your eyes filled with lust. As you were about to caress him further, you heard voices behind the main door, and you recognised your friends' voices. You both immediately froze, and Yunho turned the water off as quickly as he could. You jumped in his arms, and he hugged you close to his body with one arm wrapped around your figure, the other pushing the hair away from your face. He then pressed his forefinger against your lips, signalling you to stay quiet, only to have you opening your mouth and sucking on it. His eyes widened and darkened, surprised by your actions. He mouthed you to stay quiet, and you nodded, still sucking on his digit as you stared at him. It was so explicit and eager of you, but you felt a rush of adrenaline in your body, scared but also yearning to get caught.

While your friends were taking their sweet time to get ready to swim, you were both shivering in the shower stall, breaths shallow and quick, hoping not to get caught in the middle of your heated make-out session. You could feel that Yunho was starting to get bored as your friends laughed at some dumb jokes they made, and you didn’t like the look he had in his eyes, unwrapping your mouth of his finger.

You knew what he had in mind, and you rapidly shook your head, silently pleading him to stay still. What a bad idea of teasing him, you knew he could be spiteful sometimes. He smirked and sank his head in your collarbone, dangerously going south as he landed right above your chest, sucking on the sensitive skin. Yunho heard you squirm as one girl closed her locker, his hand kneading the skin of your ass. He had to resist the urge of slapping the jiggling flesh, feeling so soft against his palm. You clenched your teeth to prevent you from making a single noise, pursing your lips as you heard two girls walking towards the pool, letting out a long sigh as soon as they closed the door.

“I hope no one comes in and interrupts us next time,” Yunho nonchalantly said as he opened the cubicle door. You almost choked on air at his words, slapping his shoulder. “Because you think there’ll be another time?” You almost yelled but quickly caught yourself and lowered your voice. “What do you think we’re going to do when we’ll finish first from our respective category? Did you really think I was done with you? You’re just lucky that I’m tired, otherwise we would still be in that cubicle,” He winked and quickly pecked your lips before you could hit him again.

“I hate you,” you scoffed as you took your showering products and went back to the cubicle. “If you say so, darling,” Yunho mumbled with a smile, knowing that it wasn’t the case. You couldn’t hate him after all of this, rather the contrary. But it was just your way of protecting yourself. “I’ll treat you like a princess if you get a good result.” "And if I finish first?” You teased, closing and locking the door. ”I’ll treat you like the queen you are and make you taste a bit of paradise,” he stated as if it was the most normal thing to say and he left the girl changing room, making his way towards the changing rooms where he was supposed to be since he finished swimming.

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felassan · 4 years

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Mass Effect development insights and highlights from Bioware: Stories and Secrets from 25 Years of Game Development

This is the Mass Effect version of this post.

[In case you can’t read it the subtitle in the bottom left logo above is “Guardians of the Citadel”]

Note: Drug use is mentioned.

Cut for length.

Mass Effect 1

ME began its life in a vision document in fall 2003

Codenamed “SFX”

Conceived of by Casey Hudson and a core team from KotOR. Its genesis was the intention to create an epic sci-fi RPG in an original setting that BioWare owned (so they could have full creative control), and in a setting that was conceived of first and foremost as a video game

Initially players could control any squadmate, but they wanted it to be about Shep and for players to be focused on Shep being a battlefield commander, rather than on switching bodies

By the start of 2004 its story was shaping up. Initially humans landed on Mars in 2250 and discovered evidence of an ancient alien race and a powerful substance, Black Sand, which rapidly advanced tech to the point that FTL travel was possible. (My note: obviously now the Prothean artifacts on Mars & associated mass effect force tech enabled this in the final canon, but I wonder if aspects of the ‘Black Sand’ naming-type & powerful substance stuff was rolled into red sand from final canon) Humans were suddenly capable of travel to multiple star systems and made contact with a multitude of other species. At the start of the first game, these species together with humans had a fragile peace, with focus placed on the political center of the galaxy, a hub known as Star City, later renamed the Citadel

Multiplayer was a vision for the series as far back as 2003. The plan was for ME1, an Xbox exclusive at launch, to take advantage of the platform’s online components. Early designs saw players meeting in one of the central hubs to interact and trade items in their otherwise SP adventures

By 2006 it had the name ME and the story was more specific, with the theme of conflict between organic and synthetic lifeforms. The story’s scope now stretched across 3 games and included scope for full co-op MP

They tried to do MP in every game, discussing it from the get-go, but it always just fell by the wayside. “When you’re trying to build something that is a new IP, on a new platform, with a new engine, you’ve got to really focus on the core elements of the game.”

The conversation system prototype was made in Jade Empire, and some of ME’s earliest writing was done in an old JE build. At first there was no conversation wheel. Paragon was “Friendly” and Renegade “Hostile”. In the prototype Shep was a silent unnamed Spectre. Many conversations in the prototype about the player’s choice in smuggling a weapon through Noveria made it into the game

In said prototype a merchant referred to themselves as “this one”, though the word hanar never appeared. The PC in it also had the option to end a conversation with “I should go”. In the prototype also, Harkin was voiced by Mark Meer

An early version of the Mako got used as the krogan truck in ME2

Early concepts of the Citadel were drawn in pencil by CH. A piece of concept art of its final design was painted based on a photo of a sculpture near Aswan, Egypt

As with any new IP naming it was a struggle. They put out a call to all staff for ideas, did polls, made a name generator that combined words that they liked in random ways and made pretend logos of ones they liked in Photoshop to see if they could make themselves love the name or find visual potential in it. (Some of these names are in the pic at the top of this post.) CH liked “Unearthed” as it was a reference to Prothean ruins dug up on Mars and humanity’s ascendance going away from Earth. They knew the game would have a central space station featuring prominently so some of the ideas were based on that - “The Citadel”, “The Optigon”, “The Oculon”. “Element” was another one they had in mind due to the rare substance in the game

CH: “I was a big fan of John Harris’ book Mass, which had epic-scaled sci-fi ideas, so that was a word that came up often. Many of the names came from the idea that the IP featured a fifth fundamental physical force (in addition to the known four of gravitational, electromagnetic, strong nuclear and weak nuclear) so the word ‘effect’ came up pretty often.” Ultimately none of the ideas really felt right. One Monday morning they were going over the names and Greg Zeschuk said he had an idea on the weekend: “Mass Effect!” CH: “I said, ‘I don’t hate it’, which in the naming process is a high compliment. And it stuck!”

CH on Shep’s Prothean vision from the beacon: “It was hard to imagine how we would do this. CG was - and is - really expensive. Instead I wanted to try doing it through photography and video editing. So I went to a local grocery store and bought a few packages of the weirdest looking meat that I could find. Then I set up a little photoshoot in my basement, complete with some electronics parts and some red wine for juicyness.” He used these props to create a video sequence where the photos were rapidly cycled and blurred, along with production paintings, to create the scary vision an organic/machine experiment on the Protheans. These mashups were also used as inspiration for concept artists and level designers who were working on these themes

Tali used to be called Talsi

On the licensing side they often joke that they’re licensing N7 not “Mass Effect” due to N7′s popularity

There was a confidential internal guide to the IP in 2007 to help devs along and summarize/synthesize the vision etc. Some excerpts from it are shown in the book and this is the first time the public have ever seen them

Early versions of Asari had hair

Asari were designed as a nod to classic TV sci-fi (with human actors wearing obvious makeup and prosthetics to play aliens)

The turian design guideline was “we want them to be birds of prey”. They also wanted a range of alien types, some close to human like Asari, while others were to be a lot further away, like turians

BioWare patented the conversation wheel, which was a first for them. CH had been frustrated with reviews of Jade Empire that said that the actioncentric game was too wordy [with its list dialogue]. “I’m like, story is words. [...] What is it about our games that is making people feel like they’re wordy?” Then he thought “In a game you kind of need to feel like you’re continuing to play it. Maybe you should continue feeling like you’re playing it actively into the dialogue.” “[The wheel] kind of gave a new experience with dialogue when you did start to react based on emotion, and that’s ultimately what we’re trying to bring out in our games”

The original krogan concept was based on a bat “with a really wide squidgy face. We just used its face on top of this weird body and it kinda worked”

Geth musculature was based on fiber-optic cables, with flexible plates of armor attached

The vision for the IP was 80s sci-fi inspired space opera

The concept art of Saren lifting Shep by the throat inspired a similar scene in-game. The staging wasn’t planned til designers saw that art

A squadmate with Shepard on the way to meet Ash in an old storyboard was called Carter. Early name of Kaidan or Jenkins?

Bono from U2 was kinda instrumental in bringing us ME lol

Finding the right cover art for ME1 was notably tricky

Matt Rhodes got his start drawing helmets for ME1, including one which would become Shep’s “second face”. He estimates he drew between 250-270 different ones

Some of the sounds in-game were people smashing watermelons with sledgehammers and sticking fists into various goos

The audio team had fun trying to slip the iconic main theme into unexpected places throughout the MET. “We were very aware of how powerful that track was for the fans and it was tempting to overuse it for any moment we wanted to make really emotional”.

The theme was creatively repurposed in ME3: slowed down and reworked as the ambient sound for the SR-2. “If you listen to it for a really long time, just stand in the Normandy and listen, you’ll actually hear the notes change slowly. It doesn’t sound like music, it sounds like a background ambiance, but it’s there.” (My note: Well no wonder the Normandy feels so much like home?? 😭 sneaky..)

Bug report: “Mako Tornado”. There wasn’t enough friction between the tires and the ground, causing testers to lose control of the vehicle and send it spinning into the air like a tornado. “As it turns, the front end comes up, and then it starts spinning and spinning and spinning and spinning faster and faster and faster until it just flies up in the sky” (My note: Sounds like a regular day in the Mako to me)

Cerberus originally had a bigger role in this game. It was cut but they had a whole explorable outpost. “I called it Misery,” says Mac Walters, “It was this planet with a little outpost that said ‘Welcome to Misery’”. Everything on the outpost was shit - dirty worn stuff, no windows, no kitchen, the vehicle bay was open to the elements etc

The Reaper sound is literal garbage. Some audio designers went on a recording trip to a national park. One of them got fixated on a garbage can, “a metal bear-proof receptacle with a heavy lid that creaked horribly when opened”. “It was like, ominous, spooky, tonal and almost musical. I decided to throw a mic into the garbage and record it moving. I didn’t know what it was going to be until later”

They were making lots of noises to record like throwing logs and rocks around. An old couple peered at them through the window of their camper van in the woods and must have called the cops because then the cops showed up, pulled them over and told them to stop. The cops towed their car (the driver’s plates were Cali plates and expired), drove them to Edmonton outskirts and then the audio producer Shauna got a call and had to go pick them up “like three little boys”. “We got a stern talking to”. Once back they were playing around with the garbage sound, editing it etc. Casey heard it and proclaimed “That’s the sound of the Reapers”

Preston Watamaniuk: “There are things I could have done to Mass 1 to make it an infinitely better game with better UIs” and some simple cuts and changes. “But when you’re living with it, it’s very hard to see those things”

BioWare Labs

As social media and smartphone games exploded, BioWare dedicated a small team dedicated to exploring opportunities here - BioWare Labs

Mass Effect: Galaxy used a unique graphic art style and static visual presentation common in visual novels. It has the distinction of being the only iOS game BW have made during their first 25 years

Scrapped ideas were a 3rd person space shooter called Mass Effect: Corsair and 2 DA titles - a strategy game and a top-down dungeon crawler starring young Wynne. (My note: Maybe the corsairs stuff was rolled into Jacob’s backstory in 2, the Alliance Corsairs)

Corsair was a very short-lived project that never got its feet under it. It was a spin-off on Nintendo DS featuring a behind-the-ship perspective and branching dialogue. At one point it had MP. The idea behind it was basically “ME: Freelancer” - fly your ship around, do missions, get credits. It had a limited branching story but was a gameplay-centered experience intended to fill the gap between ME1 and 2. That gap ended up being filled by Galaxy

Galaxy and Corsair’s smaller screen allowed concept artists to use bold colors and a simplistic character design style to help those games stand out from Shep’s story

Nick Thornborrow did some art for Corsair but was worried his art style didn’t fit ME. He moved to DA where he feels his art style fits better

Lots of BioWare VAs and even a lead writer and the VO director are drawn from Edmonton’s local community theater scene, which is vibrant. Think this is how Mark Meer got involved

Mass Effect 2

Player choices carrying over was a first for BW

Dirty Dozen-inspired plot

Its plot is a web of conditionals (see Suicide Mission)

Was more of a shooter than anything BW had made since Shattered Steel

There was 2 camps on the team, those who wanted to push combat and systems forward and redefine the ME experience and those who wanted to make a true sequel, with the same gameplay and systems but a new story. Karin Weekes: “I think it ended up being a good push-pull. It felt like a pretty healthy creative conflict”

“ME2 was a game you could hold up to someone who argues that games aren’t a serious medium and go ‘Oh yeah, then why is Martin Sheen in this?’” Sheen was their first pick for TIM

The idea for TIM came from a mash-up of concepts CH had collected over the years. The name “Illusive” originally came from his pitch for naming DAO’s Eclipse engine, a word inspired by Obi-Wan’s line “It’s not about the mission, Master. It’s something... elsewhere. Elusive”. “I thought, what if we called our next engine 'Elusive', but used an ‘I’, and then it’s like ‘Illusion’. [...] I still really like the word with an ‘I’ and what it conjures”

When ME1 DLC was in production, CH had been watching a lot of CNN, specifically Anderson Cooper. “How is one guy travelling to all these places and never looking tired and always being able to speak with clarity?” CH says it seemed almost superhuman. “What if there was someone who is the absolute maximum of the things you would aspire to be, but also the worst of humanity?” Cooper, though not evil, became an inspiration for TIM down to the gray hair and piercing blue eyes

Inspiration for TIM’s behind-the-scenes role pulling political strings came from Jack Bauer’s brother Graem in 24. Graem “can call up the president and tell him what to do and hang up, because he’s so connected and so influential”. Sheen had played a president and his performance brought gravitas and wisdom to the role. He had quit smoking, but the character smokes. He didn’t want to fake it, but he also didn’t want to smoke, “so he actually asked for a cigarette” to hold so he could stop his words to take drags with natural cadence

Writing was still pushing to write and revise lines hours before VO started. A series of problems like injury and some writers leaving for other opportunities left it so that Karin, Lukas Kristjanson and editor Cookie Everman hand to land the story safely, with PW helping where they could. Lukas: “We took over the writing bug and task list, and I can’t stress enough how much [Karin and Cookie] did to get ME2 out the door. There’s no part of that thing we didn’t touch”. Karin: “That was the most dramatic 2 weeks of my life”

Initial fan reaction when they started promo-ing ME2 was very negative because people didn’t want to know about new chars like Jack and Mordin. “[fans were like] ‘Get them out of here. We want our characters from the first game’. But then when they played them, those became some of the most popular chars [of the series]”

Concept art of Thane has an idea annotation saying “Face can shapeshift?”

At one point when designing Thane concept artists sent multiple variations of him to the team asking them to vote on which was the most attractive

Most of the Normandy crew was written by lead level designer Dusty Everman. Lukas gave him advice in the evenings between bugs

BioWare Montreal made ME2 and 3 cinematics

CC for Shep was based on tools used by char designers to create in-game chars. Under the hood similar tools existed to create aliens

Aliens were much easier to animate than humans. When something is human it’s very difficult to make it look realistic and you can see all the mistakes and everything

Over the holiday period in 2007 CH worked out a diagram on a single piece of paper that would define the entire scope and structure of the game. The diagram is included in the book

Bug report: “I shot a krogan so hard that his textures fell off”. At one point shotgun blast damage was applied to each of the pellets fired, and shot enemies ended up with just the default checkerboard Unreal texture on them after their textures got blown off

Blasto was meant to be 1 step above an Easter egg but his fan popularity prompted them to bring him back in ME3

They rewrote chunks of Jack 2 days before she went to VO. She was the only one they could change because all the other NPCs were recorded. They redesigned her mission by juggling locked NPC lines and changing Shep’s reactions by rewriting text paraphrases to change the context of the already-recorded VO

Lukas snuck obscure nods ito ME2′s distress calls. In the general distress call for the Hugo Gernsback, there’s BW’s initial’s and Edmonton’s phone number backwards. In a fault in a beacon protocol there’s the initials and backward phone number from Tommy Tutone’s “Jenny”. In 2 other general distress calls there’s initials and numbers from Glenn Miller Orchestra’s “Pennsylvania 6-5000″ and initials and numbers from Geddy Lee and Rush’s “2112″ respectively

Mass Effect 3

“The end of an era marks the beginning of another”

ME3 “marked the end of Shep’s story”

Saying bye to Shep was as difficult for devs as it was for players

JHale’s final VO session included Anderson’s death and romanced Garrus’ goodbye. “We were in the session and we both just started crying”, Caroline says. “I couldn’t come on the line to give her notes because I was crying, and she was crying. And so there was just this minute-long pause of like, nothing, nothing, nothing - just silence through the airwaves. And then I came on and just told her that I was crying and she said ‘I’m crying!’” They talked about these anecdotes also here on the N7 Day reunion panel

The Microsoft Kinect voice support required devs to teach Kinect hundreds of commands in a variety of accents across multiple languages. The result was useful but made for some awkward moments. Numerous players accidentally said “geth” or “quarian” while making a particular decision and accidentally killed Tali

MP chars were voiced by cops and military people

The helmet on one of the MP chars was originally designed for cancelled project Revolver

The payload device at the end needed to attach to the Citadel while essentially serving as a giant trigger. “It ended up becoming quite the engineering feet just to visualize how this thing would move and connect to the Citadel”

Concept artists explored creating an anti-team, where Kai Leng was almost an anti-Shepard essentially, with an elite squad to counteract your team. This idea never went beyond concept phase

ME3 Special Edition was released on Nintendo Wii U exclusively. This exclusive version of the game includes Genesis 2 (a sequel to the original Genesis comic) and unique gameplay features that took advantage of the touchscreen GamePad. For years Sonic Chronicles: Dark Brotherhood had had the honor of being BW’s only game made for a Nintendo console

FemShep regrettably didn’t feature in major ME marketing til ME3. Later releases like DAI, MEA and Anthem have taken increasing care not to gender their protagonists in cover art

To capture combat sounds they took a trip to CFB Wainwright, a military base southeast of Edmonton. They got a big tour of it and were allowed to record anything they could find. The tour ended with them getting to drive and shoot tanks (real shells). The force of doing that sent waves through Joel Green, he felt his whole chest compress when it went off; the perfect sound for the Black Widow! After the trip the soldiers let him keep the shell he fired and it’s been passed on like a torch to various devs since

Kakliosaurs began life as a joke in the writers’ room after John Dombrow placed a Grunt figure on a t-rex toy he had on his desk. Lore was brainstormed to justify the mash-up before someone asked, “Why don’t we put this in the game?” They loved it so much Karin had custom coffee mugs made

Bug report: For a while Tali’s final romance scene would fire when she was supposed to be dead

“Balancing combat: how designers in ME3 entered an ‘arms race’” - the solution to players feeling OP vs players feeling frustrated by really strong enemies is to find a good middle ground, but for designers Corey Gaspur and Brenon Holmes, it was war. Brenon designed enemies, Corey designed guns. Corey “was obsessed with bigger, heavier guns. We had this sort of informal competition where he’d make this crazy overturned gun that would just murder all the enemies, and then I tuned some stuff up to compensate”

Brenon had to invent new ways to “stop Corey” and this led to the Phantoms. Corey had in turn designed consumable rockets that could wipe out entire waves of enemies. He must’ve figured this would make short work of Brenon’s space ninjas, but Brenon had other plans: “I had just added the ability for her to cut rockets [when Corey was playing MP and he was watching]. She cut the rocket in half... Corey just turns and looks at me and is like: ‘Really dude? I just shot a rocket at this Phantom and she’s fine? Not even damaged? Zero damage?’”

This friendly rivalry helped elevate ME3′s gameplay. Corey had a knack for making a gun feel so good to fire it had his fellow designers scrambling to keep up. It was his version of balancing. Before Corey sadly passed away he mentored Boldwin Li in all things weapon design and the arms race continued

Corey designed the Arc Pistol. It was causing problems for enemies because it was too powerful. It seemed hell bent on staying that way, Boldwin would tune down all its stats and it was still doing 3x the damage it should have been doing. “I was like ‘What the hell?’, and then I looked closer. It secretly fired 3 bullets for every pull of the trigger! Corey, you sneaky jerk”

The day it launched there were midnight launch parties across North America including one near the BW building. Numerous devs sat at long tables greeting fans and signing autographs as the fans picked up preorders. When midnight struck the line was long enough that it took several hours for some fans to get their game. One particular fan is remembered: “It was 3am. Some guy drove up from Calgary with his friends. He was like one of the last people in line. I think he was sort of tired-drunk. He threw himself across the tables, pulled up his shirt and shouted ‘Guys, sign my abs!’ And like I did, because he waited so long. It felt impolite not to. So I hope he enjoyed his copy of ME3″

For designing Protheans concept artists had free reign to design something that read as ancient

Before the concept art team had the story of the game to work toward, they explored wild ideas of their own including an image of the crew stealing back the Normandy to go after the Reapers

Jen Cheverie was testing scenes and was initially excited to be testing Mordin scenes, til she saw she was testing the Renegade version of his death. “This is even before like all of the audio and everything was in, so you didn’t even have the sad music. I remember sitting at my desk and my hands just went to my face when I saw that the gun Shep pulls on Mordin is the gun he gives Shep in ME2. I burst into tears and was crying for the rest of the day. People are waving to me as they walk by and I’m like, ‘It’s ok, I’m just killing my best friend’”

There’s a segment called “Shepard’s story ends”. Casey on the ending: “There’s a whole bunch of things that come together to make it incredibly tense and emotional for players. I think the biggest one was the sense of finality, that whatever it was that happened in that very last moment... was it.”

Wrapping up the story was a massive feat. In a way all of ME3 is an ending. Its final moments were the players’ last with a char they’d been with all the way from Eden Prime

“And while the critical reception of the game was extremely positive, many fans were unsatisfied with the ending, which became one of the most controversial in the history of games.” CH: “We were, on one hand, at the end of a marathon trying to finish the game and the series. But as devs we also knew that there would be more. We knew that we would continue to tell the story. In retrospect, we didn’t fully appreciate the tremendous sense of finality that it would have for people”. He envisioned an ending that posed new questions, something in the tradition of high sci-fi that left players dreaming about what that particular galaxy’s future could hold. “Frankly, there’s a lot more that we could have and should have done to honor the work players put in, to give them a stronger sense of reward and closure”

AAA games are massive undertakings with a million moving parts. Somehow they come together but even the best-planned projects don’t turn out quite like devs hope. From start to end video game production is a series of compromises. It’s rare if not impossible for devs to ship a game they’re entirely happy with. “I think that people imagine that when you finish a game, it’s exactly the way you wanted it to be. But whether people end up loving or hating the final result, we work hard to finish it the best we can, knowing that there’s a lot we would have wanted to do better. I think that’s true of any creative work”

As the dust settled after the initial reaction to the ending and later its epilogue, meant to show the wide-reaching ripple effects of Shep’s final choice, “players emerged mostly asking for one thing”. CH: “Now, most of what we hear, after both ME3 and MEA, is ‘Hey, just go make more Mass Effect’. And that to me is the most important thing. Knowing that players want to return to the ME universe is what inspires us to press on and imagine what comes next”

Mass Effect: Andromeda

By creating a new ME in a new galaxy the team was challenged to put their own visual stamp on the game while keeping it true to the franchise

Being the first ME game on a new gen of consoles meant for more detail

“Massive transport ships called arks populated with salarians, turians, humans, asari and quarians” made the risky jump to the Cluster

MEA was the first time BW had truly codeveloped across 3 studios: Edmonton, Montreal and Austin. The bulk of the work especially early on was done in Montreal, which was composed of a handful of Edmonton expats and heaps of experienced devs who joined from elsewhere specifically to bring a new ME experience to life. Series vets in Edmonton then came on to contribute writing, cinematics, design and QA, along with leadership from creative director Mac Walters and the core Production team. Austin writers and level designers also joined the fray

“It took a new team to take ME beyond the Milky Way”

Mac: “A lot of people in Montreal joined BW as fans of the franchise, so they just had this passion, and it felt like it was more like the days of Jade Empire, where a smaller younger team gets to do something for the first time. Even though it wasn’t necessarily a new IP for me, it felt fresh and new because of that. The team was just super excited to be working on it”

Early plans had the player exploring hundreds of worlds, procedurally generated, allowing for a nearly infinite variety of experiences. But as development wore on, it became clear that the game narrative required more specific, hand-touched level design on each world to keep the story focused and the experience engaging. “The plan was to give players numerous uncharted worlds to explore. Designers worked hard to come up with procedural elements that would make such planets special. Eventually the team made the difficult decision to abandon procedural planets in favor of more memorable hand-touched alien worlds, each with a specific story to tell”

One challenge was defining what ME meant without Shep. Care was given to include many of the MET’s key species. “Ryder recruited turian, asari, krogan and salarian followers”. Like Shep Ryder represents humanity’s hope for a peaceful coexistence among aliens who had long operated without human contact

Beginning with MEA the team decided that with few exceptions vehicles in ME have 6 wheels. Early Nomad concepts were bulkier. Later ones focused on its ability to move over its ability to protect itself from hostile fire, underlining the themes of exploration

German concept designer and auto-motive futurist Daniel Simon was contracted to create the Nomad and Tempest. The Tempest’s final design took inspo from the Concorde

Concepts for angaran fighter ships have the following notes: “Two doors swing open, wings rotate down to function as landing struts, the landing struts split open. It has a spinning turbine engine

Despite being set a galaxy away and some 600 years after Mordin’s death, there was a time when he had a cameo. It wasn’t cut due to running out of time however, it was cut due to drug references. John Dombrow explains: “One day I had to write a small quest for Kadara. I thought it’d be amusing if these 2 guys living way out on the fringes in a shack were growing plants for uh, medicinal purposes, and needed Ryder’s help with it. It occurred to me, wouldn’t it be amusing if Ryder had the option of actually trying ‘the medicine’ to see what would happen? And I thought, what if it turned into some hallucination that somehow involved SAM - like maybe SAM would sing? But why? How could I motivate that? Then it hit me. Who else in the ME game sings unexpectedly? MORDIN. As a nod to him I wrote SAM singing Modern Major-General. It got even better when our cine designer John Ebenger wanted to take it even further. Bless him, he came in on a Saturday to do a special hallucination showing Mordin himself. It was great. Til the fateful day we were told MEA had already been submitted to the ratings board. That’s when you declare things like drug references in your game. Mordin fell under that category which meant it was a no-go. We were too late”

Ryder’s white AI armor contrasts Shep’s iconic dark armor (intentional design)

Concept art for Ryder involved experiments with cloth (cloaks, ponchos, capes - “Pull here to release cloak”) and asymmetrical design elements

For alien design, there’s a few exceptions but humanoid figures are the ME standard and this persisted into MEA

Kett and angara concepts explored striking lines and textures

– From Bioware: Stories and Secrets from 25 Years of Game Development

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razorblade180 · 3 years

Text

Interdimensional Moms: Bonus

Part 4 here<-

After many tears and tissue boxes, all members of team RWBY had finally stopped crying. Blake was the best off with her eyes a little red while Ruby was the complete opposite. The girl’s face was still rather red and her eyes were puffy. She hadn’t even completely stopped sniffling yet; much like tear marked partner. Yang on the other hand rested her head on the table. She had cried hard enough to giver herself a minor headache. She was completely drained.

Yang:Ugh, this blows! I thought this was gonna be a fun learning experience.

Blake:We definitely learned. It just so happens we had to poke at some.... extremely sensitive topics.

Weiss:I’m all for looking inward and self reflection but I’ve had my fill.

Ruby:Same. Should’ve kept the summary light.

Yang:No, I’m glad you got that off your chest. We just need a way to lighten the mood.

Blake:.....I kicked Weiss’s butt in a tournament.

RWY:......What?

Blake:During the time spent training for Salem, another tournament was held between the schools. It had team matches and singles. I kicked Weiss’s butt in my fourth round. It was a good day.

Weiss:How is that lightening mood!?

Blake:Listen, it was a big deal! I never thought I was gonna win the whole tournament but I really wanted to beat you. I love you but your head gets a little big when you’re on a roll for too long; plus I just really didn’t want to lose. I always felt a bit of rivalry between us.

Yang:Hehe, is that you’re way of saying “It would look bad to lose to a Schnee?”

Blake:Well it would!

Ruby:Hehehe.

Yang:Wait, does that mean we went back to school?

Blake:Yeah. It was pretty comforting. There was definitely a lot left to learn.

Yang:Weird. School kinda faded into the background.

Ruby:I went back to school. We all did actually. It was fast tracked by roughly a year but it was fun. We all got to pose in caps and gowns.

Weiss:Damn! I should’ve went back just for that. Unfortunately I was busy making rent and learning how to properly preheat a oven.

Yang:It’s like two buttons.

Weiss:Gas stove, and six years out of date.

Yang:Awww, you had to learn the hard way. I’m surprised and thankful you never left the gas on.

Weiss:There’s an alarm for that. Also I’m not irresponsible! Anyways, I mentioned similar tournaments earlier. I didn’t participate much but enough old videos of me in them were enough for to really light a fire under my kids. For awhile I was a bit concerned that they were just following a trend but they really love it. They used to always go around playing like knights when they were tiny.

Ruby:Carmine was a little different. She definitely always tried doing things I could but nothing got the girl jumping like seeing Yang’s horses or new ballet shoes. There wasn’t a morning when I didn’t hear a vase fall over or seeing her spin like a top. Carmine still hums some old routines when she isn’t paying attention.

Yang:Not too many memories of Yujin when she was pint size. But I do remember that wild child always loved using my bandannas for everything! Napkins, capes, ropes; anything but an actual bandanna. I used to get a bit upset with the napkin one but she’d always look at me with her big eyes and crazy hair. I never stayed mad.

Weiss:Softie.

Yang:She was like a pudgy puff ball! Fat cheeks and wholesome smiles. Ah! So adorable!

Weiss:I used to always have at least one of my kids on my hip when I was out and about. I think the media has a magazine amount of pictures of me at the park kissing my babies. Summer liked tummy rubs. She’d never go to sleep without one. Some nights I’d sing too but start to doze off so Jaune would have to take over.

Yang:*smiles* Speaking of Jaune.....

Ruby:No.

Yang:You don’t even know what I was-

Ruby:Were you about to suggest we compare our Jaune’s in the bedroom?

Yang:*red*......Well not just the bedroom! What’s the harm!? I just wanna know if he’s consistent across the board. No need to get detailed.

Weiss:You really never change no matter the world.

Yang:Can’t change greatness. It shows in any form!

Blake:He’s pretty compliant and accommodating. The benefits of being his first when I had prior knowledge I suppose.

Ruby:Don’t answer!

Blake:Why not? I’m comfortable with it.

Yang:Don’t listen to those two Blake. They’re just a bit more embarrassed since Jaune has literally been their one and only.

Blake:Huh, I never thought about it like that. Jaune would’ve been the first person you two opened up to on such a level; especially Weiss.

Yang:That’s still hilarious. All the protesting and somehow you found yourself stripping for the guy.

Weiss:Shut up! I already know! It was....I.... *blushing* emotions ran really high.

Ruby:An entire mental rollercoaster of thoughts and firsts happening all at once. Anxiety was high.

Yang:Heh, so you could say that Jaune Arc-

RW:Got through our walls. Hardy har har.

Yang:Shit, I am the same in every universe. Well I don’t have any reservations about it! *grinning* He makes me feel special every time!

Blake:Bottom.

Yang:I’m ignoring you.🎶

Ruby:Hehe, sounds about right. He...might make me feel a bit special as well.

Blake:Switch.

Ruby:How can you just guess off of that!?

Blake:It’s a gift.

Weiss:......

Blake:*smiling*

Weiss:Leave me alone.

Blake:I don’t know what has you embarrassed. You told us you’ve slept with everyone here except Ruby! I knew you were repressed but geez.

Weiss:For your information it wasn’t my idea! It was yours!

Blake:Not surprising. Let’s switch the topic. How is this other child of mine? Can’t picture me having a daughter.

Weiss:Veronica is very sensitive. Even if she tries to act like she isn’t. One time when she was tiny, a soccer ball hit her straight in the face and she sprung up saying “I’m fine!” Then you took her behind the bleachers to patch her up; tears all on her face. It both breaks my heart and very adorable to see her act fine while her ears are folded back.

Ruby:Your other son Kovu was a bit of cry baby. Partly my fault. Carmine kept beating him up and making fun of him.

Blake:What!?

Yang:Ha! Wait, that’s my kid too. How the heck!? Are you telling me you raised the rowdy child and I got the baby?

Ruby:Yang you’re a baby. I’m like twice as rowdy compared to you. A nevermore got worked day one at school.

Weiss:She has a point. You cry the most out of any of us.

Yang:Wha- that not- how....shut up! *pouts* I’m not that touchy.

Ruby:Kovu is a sweetie and not a cry baby. Carmine is just a little mean when she tries to care about others. She beat him up in an attempt to make Kovu give up dreaming about being a huntsman. That way he wouldn’t be in such a dangerous job. Reasonable logic but you know, a little over the top. Almost broke his arm. Boy did I chew her out. All it did was make him want to try harder.

Yang:Fantastic. I shouldn’t expect less from my own blood. I bet Yujin would like him. Which reminds me, anybody have kids in relationships?

RWB:We’re working on it.

The three women paused briefly before laughing at their meddling. Yang could only admire and fear her friends.

Yang:Should I be scared for your children?

Blake:Lucas needs someone to break up the routine in his life. I’m not saying he has to date her, but it would put a smile on my face.

Ruby:Carmine takes after me, not really thinking about stuff like relationships much. However, that doesn’t mean she doesn’t at all. Carmine tries her best to not act like she’s a teenaged girl with teenage wishes. But everyone sees right through it. I’m fine with her not being in one but I would like if she acknowledged that it’s okay to just....ugh, be normal! Why can nobody have normal knees in my life!?

Weiss:Nick likes Valerie who tries to deny she likes him by liking Summer, who doesn’t like her; while Veronica crushes on Nick who obviously has conflicting feelings.

RBY.....

Yang:Why is it always complicated with you?

Weiss:How is this my fau- okay it is a little bit.

Blake:Where do you stand?

Weiss:I think Valerie would be lovely for him.

Yang:What’s wrong with my baby girl!?

Blake:Yeah!?

Weiss:One, not yours. Two, have you met who I’m married to? Can’t really say he’s wasting his efforts. Though I wouldn’t be upset with Veronica. I think those two might be good for each other.

Blake:Any other bombshells people got?

Ruby:......

Ruby:Ilia is happily married.*sips coffee*

Blake:Oh that’s wonderful! I’m glad she found a loving wi-

Ruby:*smirks* To Sun.

Blake:....*stands up* I need, champagne!

A bottle of champagne poofs into existence with several glasses. Blake immediately pours everyone a glass before raising hers into the sky.

Blake:Ruby Rose, today you’ve erased guilt upon my conscious. I’m happy there’s one world where it seems all of my good exes get over me.

Ruby:Are the Ilia and Sun where you’re from miserable like Yang!?

Blake:No, but they kinda fumble in actually going for relationships. It just always makes me feel a little bad.

Yang:You can technically count two worlds. I’m fine, Ilia is dating a pretty secretary, and your one evil ex is now raising a morally good family.

Blake:You’re right! This calls for a double toast! To alternate universes! *puts glass down*

Weiss:Haha, aren’t you gonna drink it!?

Blake:No I’m still recovering; but how could I pass up the opportunity!? Man I wish I could attend that wedding! I don’t know if I’d be a bridesmaid or the best man!

Yang:You’re just gonna steal Neptune’s thunder like that?

Blake:Hey, Sun and I have taken bullets for each other and stab wounds. I think I deserve to be a little greedy and say I ride or die for that man just a little harder than Neptune.

Ruby:Geeeeeez Blake! Haha, I didn’t even tell you about the baby.

Blake:*visble excitement* Excuse me!?

RWY:*raises glass* Cheers.

Blake:CHEERS! What’s he like!?

xxxxx

Aero:AAAACHOOOO!

Carmine:Eugh! Cover your mouth! I don’t need to get sick.

Aero:Damn! What happened to uh I don’t know, “bless you!?”

Carmine:*pulls out tissues* Happy?

Aero:Where...why are those in you book bag?

Carmine:It’s flu season.

Aero:....I can’t tell if you’re the coolest person around or just a second mother.

Carmine:I can be both. My mom is arguably both but don’t tell her that. It’ll make her month and she’ll hug me too tight.

Aero:Bitch, you love hugs. Stop being difficult.

Carmine:Mmmm nah.

Aero:I feel bad for your mom.

Carmine:I feel bad for yours.

Aero:Hop off. You’re so childish.

Carmine:And yet you love me.

Aero:*red* In your dreams!

Carmine:It would make your day if I dreamed about you,wouldn’t it?

Aero:I hope you dream of spiders.

Carmine:We do not joke about that! *grabs him* Aero I will beat you up if I dream of them tonight! That’s just mean!

Aero:Stop crying ya baby. I could’ve said they were- ow!

Sun:*hitting him* Shut up and just kiss something! We’re trying to watch a game.

Aero and Carmine:We don’t like each other!

Jaune:With all do respect, that’s a lie. But please by all means Aero, continue not touching my daughter if you know what’s best for you. I don’t wanna have to fight you and your parents right afterwards.

Sun:Ilia would kill you.

Jaune:Yeah! That’s why I don’t want the fight! Much like Ruby, she’s short and terrifying. Her size holds the rage.

Ilia:*peeks in* Who’s talking shit?

JASC:Nobody, we love you!

Ilia:.....Got my eyes on you four. *holds Garnet up* and this one; the most well behaved in this bunch even with no nap.

Garnet:*fussy grumbling* I’m a ball of rage!

Ilia:You wanna nap?

Garnet:Yes!!!

Ilia:See, behaved. *walks away* don’t make me come back out here.

Carmine:....So do you like me because your mother is also imposing?

Aero:This is it, my evil origin story. It begins today.

xxxxx

Ruby:I admire his patience.

#rwby #the void #jaune arc #ruby rose #weiss schnee #yang xiao long #blake belladonna #carmine arc rose #aero amitola #ilia amitola #sun wukong #rwby ships #rwby lancaster #rwby whiteknight #rwby dragonslayer #rwby knightshade

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imgoingtohellsofuckit · 4 years

Text

But Baby Bird

Cheating!Hawks x Reader

Warning - Cheating! Toxic ass behavior.

Summary - You catch Hawks cheating on you - and you decide to take him down a peg

Apparently cheating Hawks is a trend right now? And like I’m down... But in my way. Also listen to the glee version of Bust your windows and it 100% fueled this.

Today was a normal day for you. You got off at work, went to pick up something for dinner, and headed home for the night. Work had been stressful. All the heroes at your agency seemed to need a hundred things. And running the behind the scenes of the agency was already hard enough. So you were longing to be home. In the arms of your fiancé. He’s always great with helping you recover from a bad day.

As you walk into the penthouse you notice a distinct lack of Hawks. Normally he greats you at the door- a drink and hand and a sweet kiss. However he was no where to be found. You don’t think too much on it. You’ve been at the office extra late the last couple weeks and with his hero work you know it brings natural conflicts in your schedules. However the pros boots at the door reveal he’s here. Still he could be asleep. He is one for laying around in his free time.

“Hawks baby?” You call “I’ve got us dinner.”

He doesn’t reply. You roll your eyes setting down the takeout bag on the kitchen counter. Starting to set it up. Knowing he’d be grateful to wake up to the meal. You move to grab some paper towels only to catch site of two wineglasses in the sink.

“The fact he can’t just reuse a dish-” You groan lightly.

“Baby bird-” You hear a distant groan. You move looking down the hall to the bedroom. “Oh Baby Bird.”

“He couldn’t fucking wait for me,” You growl, “what a tool.” You move marching towards the bedroom. Clearly annoyed that your boyfriend started with out you. ”Hawks I’m sure I’m better than your hand-”

The scene in front of you isn’t that of catching your partner jerking it off... No instead it’s Hawks balls deep in on of the interns from his agency.

“No fucking way,” You say harshly. Hawk looks over at you. Eyes wide. Guilt filling his expression.

“Love Bird-” Hawks start pulling away from the girl. The intern moving to grab the blankets from your bed to cover herself. Hawks standing and pulling his boxers from the ground as you stared at the scene.

The emotions flooding over you weren’t deafening. The anger. The sadness. The helplessness. The shock. All blending into an overwhelming mess. You just walked in on your fiancé fucking his intern. The man everyone warned you about proving their point.

For a moment you don’t do anything. Then you just start to laugh.

“This isn’t- let me jus explain.”

“Explain what?” You ask him laughing lightly, “that you’re fucking some bimbo from your office?”

“Y/n-”

“Fuck off Keigo,” You say harshly, “I’m done. I hope you and your little slut over there have fun...”

“Babe-”

You pull away harshly.

“Don’t fucking touch me,” You spit back.

You left. Wanting to be anywhere but there. So you ended up over at Rumi’s. Your friend giving you the usual break up kit. The pajama, ice cream. The whole nine yards. She tried to cheer you up as you sobbed. You wanted to understand why the hell he’d do that. Why he’d risk your relationship of 4 years all for a girl who’s barely legal. You wonder how long he’s been letting this happen? If she’s the only girl?

“Fuck Keigo,” Rumi says harshly.

“I tried that- didn’t work out so well in the end,” You say slightly amused. She laughs lightly.

“That’s the spirit babe,” She says, “he sucks- but he’s a learning exprience. Now you can go find a guy who treats you right-”

“Or I can burn his apartment down,” You say harshly.

“That’s an option,” She says, “I’m sure you’re dad will love that one. Mr. Hero Commission watching his sweet daughter burn her fiancé’s house to the ground.”

“You think he’d let that get out?” You ask her slightly amused, “man would have that covered up in a heart beat.”

“Well as much as I love the arson- let’s think smaller,” Rumi says, “like moving on... Show him what he lost.... And he lost the hottest bitch he’ll ever see.” You chuckle through the light tears. Moving to wipe them away. “Now no tears- pretty bitches down cry over fuck boys.” I laugh lightly. “Step one to cheering up is get under some hot guy- how’s Zawa sounding?”

“As much as I’d love to tread that wave of daddy issues- I can’t even think about that right now,” You say sadly, “Hawks and I were supposed to get married! I spent our entire relationship defending him from people telling me it would end up this way. I feel stupid.”

“That’s not your fault,” Rumi says, “you love him... Besides you aren’t the only girl who’s ever gotten hurt this way... Heroes fucking suck. Whores... All of them. They’ll stick it in anything that has a pulse- and even that’s not stopping them sometimes.”

“Ew,” You chuckle sadly. She starts to laugh.

“Bird man sucks- and you deserve so much more,” She tells you, “I promise you that this will only bring you closer to the guy who’s gonna treat you right.”

“Thanks Rumi,” You tell her. She moves pulling you into a hug.

“Any time song bird,” She says. When she pulls back she gives you a firm look. “Now go to bed- we’ve got moving out to do tomorrow.”

“Fine,” You tell her.

You try to head to sleep. You really do. But you barely get a wink when the sun starts shining through the large windows in Rumi’s living room. Outside you can hear birds chirping. The sound fills you to your core with anger. Stupid birds... Stupid Hawks. You toss a shoe at the window. The birds immediately flee.

“I know the man with wings fuck you over but don’t take it out on the birds,” Rumi says chuckling lightly. You look back to see her in the kitchen. She’s in her hero costume. Her bunny ears standing tall. “Morning song bird.”

“Ew” You groan, “I don’t want to hear that nickname ever again.”

“Oh come on I called you that before he who shall not be named ever did,” Rumi says, “your mother gave you that nickname. Don’t let him ruin it.”

“Too late,” You say as you stand from the couch. Moving over to grab a cup of coffee. Rumi rolls her eyes lightly at your comment. “I’m going to get my stuff- you still gonna be able to do that?”

“Sorry Y/n I got called in for patrols if you wanna wait here-”

“No I’m gonna go get a head start,” You tell her, “It’ll go faster that way anyways. You got any boxes?”

“No but Aizawa does- and he’s meeting us at yours to help move your stuff,” She says, “I’m giving you another chance to fuck him.” You roll your eyes roughly. “Come on! He’s hot- and before Hawks you would of killed to get under that man.”

“There was a lot I’d do pre hawks - but a lot of thats changed,” You tell her, “so I guess I’ll meet you there?”

She heads out for work. And you go through the basics of getting ready. You had called your boss to tell them you needed the day for a family emergency. This was kinda a emergency. Honestly you just couldn’t handle needing to run around for everyone else after all of that.

The penthouse isn’t too far from Rumi’s house. It’s a ten minute taxi ride. You stand out in front of the door for a minute. Anger slowly filling you as your mind replays the events of last night. You shove it away and finally open the door. The light of the morning reveals what you didn’t notice last night. Napkins with lipstick on the table. A few spare feathers on the couch. Small signs of the build up. You scoff loudly. Marching back to your room. You’re thankful that the intern isn’t there. Even more thankful Hawks isn’t. You start in the closet first. Grabbing your clothes in armfuls and tossing them onto the floor of the bedroom. Next you move to the dresser. Pulling the drawers out to dump your belongings out. You can hear the soft moans fill your ears on repeat. Keigo calling her baby bird. Something he’s called you a million times. You growl lightly. Trying to focus on getting your things. As your grabbing the picture of you and your late mother you notice a picture of you and Keigo the night he proposed. You were so happy. He promised it would be you two for the rest of you life. You move grabbing the frame. You don’t even know why. But it doesn’t stay in your hands long. In a split second your slamming it against the wall. Then you move tossing the other ones of you and Keigo on the floor. Glass is everywhere. You don’t care. You rip the frames off the wall letting them smash as well.

You calm down a bit. Moving to the bathroom to grab your stuff. However you catch yourself in the reflection. Smirking lightly as you catch the tube of lipstick on the counter. You uncap it and lean forward. Writing the word ‘Cheater’ across the glass in large red letters. Satisfied you toss the lipstick in your makeup bag then grab it to move it with the rest of your stuff. Next you move into the office. More pictures in frames around the room. You pull the down tossing them at the wall. Not caring about the scattering glass or the memories your destroying. You grab one of the markers from your desk to keep up with the redecoration. Scribbling ‘Whore’ ‘Player’ and other insults across the wall. You don’t care about what your doing. All you care about is the inconvence he’ll have cleaning this all up.

You move dragging the marker along the walls as you head out to the kitchen. Opening the shelves to toss plates and bowls on the ground.

“What the hell are you doing?”

You turn to see Keigo. He seems to be just walking in. He’s got his costume on. You smirk lightly as you drop a stack of plates on the ground. “Oops.”

“Y/n what the hell?!”

“You don’t like the redecoration? That’s a shame,” You say.

“Are you still mad?”

You don’t answer. Instead you let the teapot you toss at his head answer for you. He barely ducks it.

“Listen what happened-”

You move throwing a mug at him. He steps out of the way and it smacks the floor behind him.

“It was an accident.”

“You accidentally fucked her?” You ask harshly, “oh that’s the dumbest excuse I’ve ever fucking heard.”

“I meant it was a mistake- I messed up.”

“Oh shut the fuck up Keigo,” You growl, “I don’t wanna hear it.”

“We need to talk about this- like adults not throw a tantrum!”

You angrily toss the toaster at him. He smacks it away from him.

“You’re acting like a child!”

“You cheated on me!” You shout, “don’t give me that acting like a child shit.”

“I’m trying to talk to you and you’re throwing shit- so yeah you’re acting like a child,” He shouts back.

“Fine Keigo - what’s you’re excuse?” You ask him, “what lead you to this mistake?”

“You’re never around and I felt so alone-”

You don’t let him finish. You’re tossing the silverware drawer at him.

“You’re blaming you fucking your intern on me!” You scream, “oh my fucking god! You’re a joke.”

“Let me explain-”

“I- don’t- want- to - hear - it!” You scream in between tossing wine glasses at him. You’ve made a terrible mess of your kitchen. You couldn’t care less though. All you can think about is Keigo standing in front of you trying to blame him cheating all on you.

“Stop throwing shit!”

“Keep your dick in your pants!” You scream back.

“Did this little tantrum make you feel better?”

“No!” You scream, “you broke my heart Keigo! You cheated on me! I can’t believe you don’t understand why I’m so upset-”

“I’m trying to explain-”

“You’re trying to blame me!”

“Just let me talk!”

“No!” I scream, “I don’t care! I don’t want to hear your stupid reason!”

“Baby bird I love you-”

“HOW DARE YOU CALM ME WHAT YOU CALLED HER!” I scream on the top of my lungs. Anger radiating off of me. “You stupid- fucking- asshole!” More of the kitchenware goes flying. He’s dodging them. Mumbling explanations. You stop. Laughing lightly. He watches you clearly confused. You grab the lamp from the table and toss it straight into the middle of the TV.

“Babe oh my god!”

“Shut the fuck up! I’m done! I’m done letting you walk all over me! Defending you when you clearly don’t deserve it! And I’m done trying to love you when you clearly don’t love me!”

You yank the ring off your finger and toss it at him.

“We’re done.” I say firmly. He looks at me. Tears starting to well in his eyes. Suddenly the anger fades. You just felt numb. Over it all.

“Hey Y/n- Oh my god.”

You see Rumi and Shota at the door. Looking over the disaster of an apartment. Concern covering their faces.

“Are you okay?” Shota asks, “did he hurt you?”

You chuckle lightly.

“You think he did this?” You ask him, “I’m fine- Let’s get my shit and go... I don’t want to be here for another second.” You move past Hawks over to your friends.

“But Baby Bird,” Hawks says lightly. You look back to the man.

“Maybe next time you’ll think before you cheat-” You tell him, “see ya Bird Man.”

#cheating hawks #hawks x reader #keigo takami x reader #keigo takami #mha x reader #mha #bnha #my hero academia #boku no hero academia #cheating hawks x reader #cheatinghawks

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