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#I hope you have a good pride month and future past that

riddles-fiddles · 9 months

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Octavinelle boys with a pregnant S/O

Synopsis: I'm dealing with terrible baby ferver so I need to get this out of my system. Headcanons to how the boys react to your pregnancy all thorough the months (part 2) Characters: Azul Ashengrotto, Floyd Leech, Jade Leech Tags: SFW, fluff, domestic fluff Notes: AFAB gender neutral reader, cw pregnancy and birth

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⁀➷ Azul Ashengrotto — make sure to give him the good news while the man is safely sitting down, or else you'll see him go weak on his knees. Azul prides himself on his collected demeanor and carefully woven expressions - vital skills for his business-oriented persona - but then he is inevitably crumbling down, staring at the positive pregnancy test wide-eyed, struggling to find something clever to say. His mind is racing wild but no rational thoughts are able to fall from his lips, so all he can muster is a very low, shaky "I am… going to be a father?"

Give him some time to digest the news and you'll be met by a very gentle, tender hug from the octomer. Azul is both thrilled and terrified of this new chapter of your shared life; he longed to achieve the same kind of love his mother and step-father shared with each other, to be cared for and desired in such a selfless and devotional way, inspired by the way their love reflected upon his own upbringing. On the other hand, however, his insecuriities threatened to surface once again, doubts and ghosts from the past whispering wicked lies about his worth as a future parent. He doesn't want to fail on you and the child, as a partner or a father, and though he's equally worried about the emotional aspect of parenthood, he sticks to the importance of material goods - they're more on his comfort lane and he does it flawless to ensure your growing family can have everything of need.

(Please leash him while shopping for nursery furniture or else he'll make the baby's room a monochrome nightmare)

Azul showers you with gifts almost everyday: jewels, clothes, accessories… anything he knows you like or make any minimal comments about, being his way of showing how much he loves and cares for you, and as you progress through the stages, he takes more leaves from Mostro Lounge. He loves his work, but you are the lighthouse of his life, the one he cherishes and clings to on stormy or bright days, and the pregnancy only fueled his sense of loyalty and sincerity to you. His cafe actually comes in handy when the cravings start, and Azul isn't even an ounce ashamed to take advantage of the students working under his contracts to request them to make whatever you hunger for, though it was a surprise at first to discover about that particular characteristic of human pregnancy; he was amused nonetheless, but then he will be more careful when handing your requests. He's a very attentive partner, though it could be hard for him to express all the emotions that bubbles within his chest, sometimes too worried about being 'too emotional', scared to say something and make himself a complete fool. He kneads the stress away from your body with careful fingers and helps you out on regular tasks - shampoo your hair, put your shoes on, change clothes.

When the big day finally comes, Azul is already set and ready to go. Fret not, for the darling octo-mer has picked only the best, comfiest and quietest room for the delivery with only the best nurses on the hospital and has already set a very special menu for you to indulge in after all your hard work. But suddenly he is panicking, the danger of human birth finally sinking in as he watches the way you writhe and sob on the bed, but he can't do much but hold your hands tightly and hope for the best as the nurses help you around. When his baby is finally placed over his arms and Azul gazes upon the serene features of the tiny bean, all his terrors and doubts melt away, exhaling out a sigh of relieve and renewed joy - Azul realizes he's madly in love with you and the frail life that lays withing his grasp. He understands that there's no need for him to be perfect, either.

⁀➷ Floyd Leech — very excited from the idea of having a mini Floyd running around the house, a pocket-sized partner in crime, but to expect he would be an exceptional partner is, unfortunately, wrong. Floyd is very complex and his emotions are hard to keep controlled, and now that you are pregnant, he becomes somewhat more intense because of your own hormones and the anxiety of parenthood gripping on his neck. He does tries his best to get his moods in check, though - he doesn't want you to be stressing over him, knowing how dangerous it could be, so whenever he feels like his mood is about to change drastically, he walks away to take a breath. Things can turn into quite a ruckus if you end up experiencing those annoying changes at the same time though, as Floyd struggles to understand why you're snapping at him all of a sudden when he was just asking you something. Jade helps him understand that you're extremely hormonal and how it affects your humor and helps you keep his brother's own on check.

He's a lot more possessive and protective of you now, if not clingier. Floyd will be wrapping his arms around your figure any chance he gets, and when in public he'll always be intertwining your fingers together or holding you by the waist, getting annoyed every time someone comes asking to touch your bump - "I'm the only one who should be allowed to touch my Shrimpy's belly! Strangers have no bussiness being so close to you." Going to the doctor is always amusing because that's the moment Floyd looks the most concentrated than you can ever remember. Human pregnancy is something so new and weird for him, he's totally enthralled; what do you mean you don't lay eggs? Oh, you're just like a whale! How fun! Though he is entertained from all the information he's learning, Floyd is lowkey terrified of the birthing process (he's flabbergasted to know human babies can come out the size of a small watermelon), but he does his best to calm you down, and if you'd prefer to get a c-section, then he'll totally support you! During the preparations for the baby's room, Floyd will prefer to decorate it with ocean-themed stuff, having a blast with the assorted toys you two have bought and you're worried he might be more excited with them than your child. You know that one meme of the dad stealing the kid's tricycle? Yeah, that's him.

The delivering day comes, and Floyd is a whirlwind. He's more scared than you and it shows, no more jokes or smart remarks to try and hide his desperation, only panic, and you need to calm him down, even though he's not the one dealing with hellish contractions. Also, for the love of all Sevens, do not allow him to drive. Once you two get in the hospital, Floyd makes use of scary eel privilege to swiftly arrange a delivery room for you and suddenly almost all the nurse staff is mobilized to take care of you. Floyd can't bear the idea of leaving you alone not for even a minute, so despite the recommendations, he'll sit through hours by your side even if he's tense and stiff, holding your hand tightly. Bless the nurses who'll be helping you, because they'll have to deal with Floyd going through all the emotions known to man. Don't worry though, once he knows his shrimpy and little fry are safe and healthy, he'll turn back to the usual easy-going happy Floyd.

⁀➷ Jade Leech — Jade is surprised to receive the news. Similar to Azul, he does have a bit of knowledge about human's particularities and biology, but he wasn't expecting for you two to be compatible, especially since he's a much more 'feral' kind of merman. Nonetheless, he's happy with the prospect of growing a loving family with you... though by the progression of months, he grows the most worried. He's relieved to see the way you glow, how you seem healthy, but intrusive thoughts sometimes creep on the back of his mind. What if something happens? What if your body rejects the child because of his eel-merman genes? What if— but then you come to him squealing about how you felt the baby's first kick, and suddenly he's relaxing, his heart washed from any lingering fears. He pulls you closer and lays his head on your bump, humming quietly as he feels the baby slowly settling down.

Jade does his own research just to be sure he's doing everything right and what to expect from the significant changes you two are inevitably experiencing, insisting on working out a routine of exams and appointments, always so attentive to every little detail and medical advice. The bad thing is, he strictly follows them, which means you won't be able to snatch something unhealthy for all of your pregnancy; even if you're trying to tiptoe your way to the fridge, Jade somehow knows, he's right there to remind you about 'doctor's orders'. He's got the best of intentions, though he may look too strict. But don't fret! As soon as mama Leech gets word about your pregnancy she's coming to help! Jade actually listens to her tips, recognizing her very valuable experience on the matter and trusting mama knows best. At least you get to eat some cheat food here and there - Jade's shocked and extremely entertained to be taught that humans believe that a baby could be born looking like a certain kind of food if the mother doesn't eat whatever she's craving, and so he indulges you into whatever you ask him to cook. Similar to Floyd, Jade grows more possessive of you, especially when out in public. He dislikes the attention your bump attracts, cautious of ill-intentioned people, so when your belly has grown to it's full glory, Jade gives curious passerbys a piercing cold look while you're not aware, and then carries on to grocery shopping, whispering sweet praises to your ear like the entire mall isn't turning heels as fast as possible the moment they land their eyes on you both.

When the baby's due date comes, Jade is the ever collected and relying gentleman you need. Since he's such a good observer and has kept track of every little thing during your pregnancy - mood swings, body changes, smell and heat - he already has a suspicion you're about to go into labour, so he has prepared everything you might need even before you can shout about your water breaking. It's so endearing how he already looks like a dad - diligently guiding you through the hospital halls, big maternity bags hanging on his shoulders as he coos quietly about how everything is going to be ok, how you're going to be a great parent and how much he loves you. If you ask him to stay with you on the delivery room, he'll gladly let you squeeze his hand into oblivion and look unaffected, watching as you work for hours on end with a ressuring smile and the most sincere devotion on his eyes, totally enthralled by your resilience.

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wolfiesmoon · 5 months

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Dark chocolate

Reo x fem!reader

He could have anything he ever wanted, but the one thing he can't buy with money is your heart (can you tell this is yet another nerd girl x popular boy nuisances to mutual crush fic)

HAhah my blue lock debut🥳🥳🥳i'm making back to back fandom debuts

@noomon since you asked to be tagged (* ´ ▽ ` *)

It almost feels like he gets a new confession every day. It's safe to say he is very popular with the girls at this school. Even if it is for mostly shallow reasons.

Day after day, he receives a letter in his locker, asking him to meet behind the gym or something like that.

But the thing is, he isn't interested in any of these people. So he doesn't even give them the time of day.

The only one he's interested in is you, a girl in his class. But what is he to do when you never give him the time of day?

To you, Reo is a massive nuisance. You have no idea what made him like you and you don't care. Because the last thing you want is a stuck up rich boy as your boyfriend.

You came to this school to study and nothing more. You're not here to date or whatever else school isn't meant for.

(One exception is your singular friend.)

But no matter what, he never seems to give up on chasing after you. Even though there are far more beautiful and willing girls for him to date.

"Girl, just give him a chance. He's only got eyes for you." your friend nudged you as the two of you were eating lunch.

"And give in to him? Are you crazy?" you said with a straight face, continuing to eat.

"Oh, sorry. I only forgot that I'm friends with the most petty stubborn person in the world." your friend rolled her eyes, not understanding why you keep on rejecting Reo. He's rich, he's popular, so what's the hold up?

"Seriously, you're not 'giving in' to anything if you accept his confession."

"But I am losing my pride and my dignity. By the way, your food's getting cold." you replied simply, already getting a bit annoyed that your friend won't shut up about him.

"Girl, I lose hope in your romantic future every day."

"Good."

"Hi." he greets you at the school gate, as he does every day. And you ignore him, as you do every day.

"It's rude to ignore someone, you know that?" he joined you by your side and you just subtly rolled your eyes. You don't have time for this today, you have an early library study session to be getting to.

"My answer is no." you crossed your arms.

"I didn't even say anything, though." he gave you that stupid wide smile that you hate looking at so much. It's annoying how... uhh, above average his looks are.

"Would it kill you to stop bothering me?" you finally asked what you've been wanting to for the past few months. You have no idea how it took you so long to be harsh and honest about your feelings.

"What? I'm not bothering you." you had no idea if he was actually this dense or just pretending to be. You don't know him all too well, after all. But considering the fact that he's a student at this prestigious prep school, you think it's the second one. Unless his parents bribed the school to let him in.

"Seriously? Just leave me alone. I am not interested." it kind of felt good to admit that out loud. Directly, with no sweetened phrases to lessen the blow.

He looked away for a second. "Sorry, it's not that easy."

You looked puzzled. His tone didn't suggest arrogance or smugness. It was a quieter and thoughtful tone, something that doesn't seem fit for a stuck up rich boy.

How... strange. No, wait, what do you care?!

"You're... different. Unlike any other girl in this school." the strange tone still remained.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever you say." you sped up your steps, leaving him behind. You missed the worried look that crossed his face for a moment. To you, those words must have seemed like empty flirty comments.

But he meant it. You're a challenge to win over. To win over. Not take. You're the one girl in this school who won't just throw herself at him and somehow, that made him fall for you beyond belief.

Seeing as all you do is study and occasionally share a few words with your friend, he had a feeling boys weren't a priority for you from the very beginning.

But he'll make one boy a priority for you. Himself, of course. And he'll go through any means to achieve that goal.

"Girl, valentine's day is almost here!" your friend shook your shoulders, taking your attention from the notebook you were dutifully reading.

"So?"

"So, I am TOTALLY making chocolates for my crush and you should join me." she shook you again, making you furrow your brows in annoyance.

"Why? I have no one to give chocolate to."

Your friend smirked.

"No. No, absolutely not." you immediately shot her down, already knowing who she was talking about.

"Oh come on, you can still spend ungodly amounts of time studying while having a boyfriend. A hot rich boyfriend, at that." you weren't sure if she was doing this out of free will or if Reo was bribing her with copious amounts of money to get her to say this.

You sighed. You had a feeling your friend was going to be extra stubborn about this for the entire week leading up to valentine's day if you said no right now.

Your best choice was to resign to her and make chocolate for Reo.

And besides, you can just leave the chocolate on his desk anonymously if you come to school early. They don't mean anything to you, anyways.

"...Fine. But don't get any ideas, I'm only doing this because you would annoy me if I didn't." you raised the notebook back up, indicating the end of the conversation. You watched your friend jump with glee out of the corner of your eye.

"You should totally make dark chocolate for him." your friend suggested out of the blue as you were collecting the stuff you need to make chocolate.

"What does it matter?" you sighed, wondering what stupid reason your friend had this time.

"Dark chocolate seems more luxurious, don't you think? And besides, I heard that Reo isn't big into sweets. I'm sure he'd enjoy something healthier." she reasoned, seeming proud.

You pulled out your phone. "Hey, what are you looking at your phone for?!" your friend asked, offended that you aren't looking for the perfect meltable chocolate with her.

"Oh, nothing, just looking up the most sugary kind of chocolate." you shrugged.

"Damn, you're evil. Mikage-san's fallen for a baaaad one." your friend hit you lightly, feeling a little bad for Reo.

You looked at the meltable white chocolate on the store shelf, then at the meltable dark chocolate right next to it. You have no idea what possesed you in that moment, but your hand instantly reached for the dark chocolate.

You had to ignore your friend's smirking throughout the rest of the shopping trip.

"There! Ahh, these look so cute! All those tutorials helped out A LOT! My crush will totally fall for me after eating these!" your friend kept on gushing at the chocolates the two of you made.

"Mine are very sloppy." it was just a simple observation on your end, but to your friend it must have sounded like a discouraged comment.

"It's okay, girl! I'm sure he'll love them regardless of how they look!" she hugged you, patting your back encouragingly. Sadly, you don't have the heart to tell her that you'll just drop them off anonymously without a care in the world.

But, somehow... that seems wrong to you. Should you do that?

Dammit, this is all messing with your head. Who cares about Reo?! You're just doing this to appease your friend, nothing more.

"So, the day is finally here, huh?" your friend surprised you from behind just as you were about to leave the chocolate on Reo's desk.

"W-What are you doing here so early?" you quickly hid away the little box of chocolates, trying your best to act normally.

"Oooh, are we nervous?" your friend smirked.

"Speak for yourself. And answer my question while you're at it." you retorted, clearing your throat. That was far too close. But, how are you going to get rid of this chocolate without giving it to Reo directly and convincing your friend you did all at the same time?

Maybe you should just give up and do it. But your pride just won't let it happen. Not like this...

Later that day, you walked past Reo as he was receiving chocolates from two other girls. However, his eyes were on you the entire time. He seemed to be looking at you with expectation and you grit your teeth at the fact that he is, in fact, correct in expecting a valentine's gift from you.

As you turned the corner, your friend was waiting for you behind it. "What are you waiting for, girl? He's all alone now."

The girls that gave him the gifts seem to have already left. Oh no, this isn't good at all.

"Listen, I-"

"Oh hell no, you are not running away this time. Now go out there and make things happen!" your friend pushed you out from behind the corner, with you almost bumping into Reo.

"Hi!" he greeted you, a little more cheerfully than usual.

"Hello." you forced a smile. You silently took out the chocolate and handed it to him. You watched his eyes travel down to the chocolate and then widen.

"Wait... for me? Seriously?" He took the chocolate out of your hands, smiling happily. His cheeks seemed to be turning a pretty shade of pink, too.

His face isn't half bad when it looks like that, you must admit. Though, that doesn't mean anything. Reo's just handsome in general, that face is meaningless to you.

"Don't get any ideas. I'm only doing this out of obligation." you ignored the daggers being shot at you from behind. You can already imagine the earful you'll get from your friend.

"That just means I'll have to try harder, though." he gave you a big, wide smile. The kind that you've never seen on a guy in real life before. But to be fair, you don't look at guys all that much.

Still... Why is your heart beating so fast right now?

oh my god this turned into a whole essay LMAOOO

#˗ˏˋ ★ ♡ 「Wolfie’s other works」 ♡ ★ ˎˊ˗#blue lock #blue lock x reader #blue lock x you #blue lock x female reader #mikage reo x reader #reo mikage #mikage reo x you #reo x reader #reo x you #reo x y/n #bllk x reader #reo fluff #bllk x you #fem reader

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enhahooninurwindow · 2 months

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Lingering Love

Pairing: Sunghoon x reader 🍓MASTERLIST

Genre: angst, fluff

Wc: 688 (?)

Syn: It had been eight long months since Sunghoon and you parted ways, your hearts heavy with unspoken words and unresolved feelings. But as they say, time heals and healed ur pain bringing love again

It had been eight long months since Sunghoon and you parted ways, your hearts heavy with unspoken words and unresolved feelings. The breakup had been tumultuous, fueled by misunderstandings and miscommunications that left you both wounded and longing for each other's presence. You, in a fit of doubt and fear, had accused Sunghoon of cheating, a claim that tore at the very fabric of your once-strong bond. As the months passed, the pain lingered, but so did the love. Sunghoon found himself staring at his phone, fingers hovering over the keys, longing to reach out to you but held back by pride and uncertainty. Meanwhile, you often found yourself lost in memories of your time together, the laughter, the shared dreams, and the warmth of his embrace. One quiet evening, as the sun dipped below the horizon and the world settled into a hushed calm, he gathered his courage and typed out a message to you. It was a simple "Hey, how have you been?" but behind those words lay a universe of emotions waiting to be unraveled. You, startled by the notification, stared at the screen for what felt like an eternity. The memories flooded back, the good and the bad intertwined in a bittersweet tapestry of nostalgia. After a few moments of hesitation, you replied, tentatively at first, but soon the floodgates opened, and you found yourselves pouring out thoughts, feelings, and apologies.

The conversation flowed like a river finding its course after being dammed for too long. You talked about everything— the hurt you had caused each other, the doubts that had plagued your minds, and most importantly, the love that still burned brightly despite the distance and time apart. As the days turned into weeks, your virtual exchanges deepened. You shared your daily routines, your dreams for the future, and the lessons you had learned during your time apart. He apologized sincerely for any actions or words that had hurt you, and in turn you acknowledged your own role in the misunderstandings that led to the breakup. Slowly but surely, trust began to rebuild its fragile bridge between you. He made a conscious effort to be transparent about his life, sharing his thoughts and feelings openly with you. Likewise, you learned to let go of the past grievances, choosing forgiveness and understanding over resentment.

One evening, as you spoke about your favorite memories together, he took a leap of faith and confessed, "I never stopped loving you, Y/N. Not for a single day." The words hung in the air, heavy with vulnerability and hope. Your heart skipped a beat as tears welled up in your eyes. "I still love you too, Sunghoon," you whispered, your voice trembling with emotion. With those simple yet profound words, the barriers crumbled, and you knew that your love was not a thing of the past but a flame waiting to be reignited. You decided to meet in person, to look into each other's eyes and find solace in the warmth of his embrace. The reunion was nothing short of magical. As you stood face to face, all the pain and sorrow melted away, leaving behind only love and a deep sense of belonging. You laughed, you cried, and you held each other tightly, as if afraid that the moment would slip away like a fleeting dream. From that day forward, you embarked on a journey of rediscovery and rebuilding. You took things slow, savoring each moment and cherishing the newfound appreciation for what you had. Communication became your cornerstone, honesty your compass, and love your guiding light. Your story was not without challenges, for scars of the past don't vanish overnight. But you faced those challenges together, hand in hand, knowing that as long as you had each other, you could weather any storm. Years later, when you looked back on that fateful reconnection, you smiled knowingly, grateful for the twists and turns that had led you back to each other. For you both, breaking up had been a painful detour, but it had also been the catalyst for a love stronger and more resilient than ever before.

#enhahooninurwindow #enhypen fluff #enhypen reactions #enhypen x reader #enhypen #enha imagines #enha x reader #park sunghoon #sunghoon #sunghoon angst #sunghoon x reader #sunghoon fluff #enhypen sunghoon #enhypen angst #sunghoon x you #sunghoon x y/n

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celtics534 · 9 months

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Little Moments That Pass Us By Chapter 8

First Night - July 1998

This chapter is the reason this lovely story is rated M, that’s my only warning ;)

Time for a little spice. I hope you all like it!

Also Read On: FF.net or AO3

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When Ginny pressed him back into the sofa cushion, Harry lost all conscious thought. He didn’t think about how he was at the Burrow, or how Ginny’s parents were just three floors above them. All that mattered was the way Ginny’s lips felt on his, how her legs straddled his lap, and how her fingers were knotted in his hair.

It was incredible how she felt. Everything about Ginny was fantastic. After everything he’d been through, Ginny had supported him. Been a shoulder to lean on. She was the only person Harry had felt comfortable talking to. Truly talk too. After the things he’d done over the previous year… the things he’s learned over the last few years… Ginny was his confidant. And he was hers. He’d held her close as she described the things she’d been forced to endure at the hands of the Carrows. She’d told him about her fears during the last three years, and he fears for the future. Harry wiped away her tears after she’d cried over Fred’s grave.

And all of that had led them to be here. They found emotional comfort in each other, but also found passion in each other's bodies. Since that first kiss after he’d fled her bedroom they’d reconnected. Sneaking outside to find quiet corners to be with each other. Snogging, talking, touching.

Over the last few months, they’d gotten up to more than they had at Hogwarts. Getting to see Ginny take off her bra again had been incredible, but then getting to slide his hand into her shorts and feel her heat… getting to help her reach her climax, his fingers being what set her over the edge… that had been one of the best moments of his life. That moment had been knocked from the pedestal when Ginny had gone down on him for the first time, which had been superseded when he had gone down on her five minutes later.

Typically, they were cautious about where they did things. Even with Ron and Hermione in Australia, the Burrow was a hub of people and the fear of getting caught by brothers or mothers was strong. But tonight, there was something that was making them throw caution to the wind.

Harry couldn’t put it into words. The moment Ginny had come to gently kiss him, he’d instantly needed more. He’d pulled her into his lap and deepened the kiss well past anything they’d done in the public sitting room.

“Harry,” Ginny moaned his name in one of the hottest whispers he’d ever heard. It was enough to pull him out of the drugged state Ginny’s kisses had sent him. Or maybe it was the way her fingers had gone under his shirt and were dipping lower.

And there was that insatiable need. Her hands on him, the feeling of her sucking lightly at his bottom lip… it made his normally cautious and polite attitude disappear. His hands came up to run along her sides, trailing until they found the hem of her shirt. It was up and over her head before Ginny could make a noise of surprise. Her bra clasp was undone a second later and Harry had lowered his head so he could kiss her hardening nipples.

“Merlin, Harry,” Ginny whispered, a tone of surprise and what Harry thought was awe. It flattered and made his male pride roar in delight. “I knew you were good at that, but this could have gotten you into a world record book.”

Harry chucked against her chest, loving the way she shivered and arched into his warm breath. “You know what they say when people have the right encouragement.”

Now it was Ginny’s turn to laugh. “Oh really? And pray tell, what else might you be encouraged to do?”

“I’m sure between the two of us we can come up with some great idea,” Harry said, pausing to kiss his way to her other breast. “But right now —”

His sentence was cut off by the sound of creaking floorboards a story above them. They both froze. Ginny’s hands were tightly locked in Harry’s hair. Harry’s lips hovering just above her left nipple, his fingers halfway into the back of her shorts. They waited with bated breath, listening. Harry could feel his heart racing a mile a minute as he prayed her parents were simply visiting the loo and not coming down for a late-night cuppa.

After the longest two minutes of his life, Harry heard the sound of the water running through the old pipes and then the sounds of the same floorboards creaking as the person wandered back the way they came.

“Bloody hell,” Ginny muttered, her shoulders falling as the tension seemed to ooze out her system. “That could have been bad.”

For his part, Harry couldn’t relax. It was all hitting him at full force what they’d been doing and where. “Merlin, Gin. I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have — in the sitting room — I don’t know what I was —”

Ginny cut off his ramblings with a hot, hard kiss. Her fingers tightened in his hair as she kept him close to her. “Take me to bed, Potter.”

Everything in Harry’s system buzzed at those words. His blood started to heat and his already tight pants seemed to get worse. “What?”

“You heard me,” Ginny said, her eyes blazing like a fire. She got up from his lap, holding out a hand to help him off the sofa. “Take me to bed.”

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Harry didn’t know what to do with his hands. Hell, he didn’t know what to do with any of his body parts. He just stood there like a statue after Ginny had shut her bedroom door behind them.

Their discarded shirts (and her bra) were bundled in his hands, and he just stood there holding them. He swore his body had gone numb as he watched Ginny (a topless Ginny) move around her room. He was only half aware of what she was doing, but he was fully aware of her (and her hard nipples). She’d locked the door, he was certain of that. The rest of her movement was lost on him as his brain started jumping from one thought to the next.

“Hey.” Ginny’s soft voice right in front of him made Harry’s vision come back into focus. She was standing right in front of him, her small hand resting lightly on his forearm. “About what happened downstairs —”

Instantly Harry jumped to apologize. “I’m sorry I pushed so far. It wasn’t… I shouldn’t have done that… Right where anyone could…” He was rambling like a nervous child about to get scolded by the headmaster. Harry didn’t want Ginny to think that he’d ever take advantage of her, especially not in her parent's sitting room. “Gin, I would never —”

Ginny’s index finger cut him off as she pressed it hard to his lips. “Harry, stop.” He pressed his lips together to keep his ramblings at bay. “Look at me, Harry.”

He lifted his eyes to look into hers. He expected to see anger, maybe annoyance. At least disappointment at his foolish actions. Instead, all he saw was heat… desire. Her tongue came out to run along her bottom lip.

“Good, now just shut up and kiss me.”

He hesitated for at least five seconds. A solid five seconds where his mind and body were both too surprised to comprehend what she’d said. Then the bundle of clothing was landing on the floor with a soft thud, and his arms were around her waist.

The moment his lips were on hers, Harry was lost. Lost in her. The feel of her. The taste of her. It was everything.

Her body pressed hard into his as her hands roamed from his back to his hips. It wasn’t until her fingers were at the button of his jeans that Harry’s mind started working again. He pulled away from her tantalizing mouth. His lungs filled with much-needed oxygen as he stared at her. “Gin?”

She met his gaze with a determined look. “Harry.” Her fingers stayed on his button.

Harry sucked in a deep breath, before swallowing hard. Her message was clear. Actions spoke louder than words and her actions were practically screaming. She was just waiting for his approval. She was making sure he was ready.

And fuck was he ever.

With speed that would impress a cheetah, Harry recaptured her lips. She moaned into his mouth as he opened his mouth to hers. He felt it when Ginny’s fingers resumed their quest. He nearly hissed as she pulled the zipper down.

“Okay?” Her words were muffled against his mouth.

“Fuck yes.” The hoarse whisper slipped out without a second thought.

Ginny's deep chuckle went straight to his dick. If he’d had any blood left in his head, it had just all completely moved south as had her fingers. Ginny’s small hands had completely removed him from his jeans and were making their way back to the waistband of his boxers.

Harry’s eyes closed on their own accord. Fuck it all felt so incredible. They’d done this before, hell they’d done more than this before, but for some reason, it felt different tonight. It was… there was more.

When her fingers wrapped around the head of his cock, Harry’s eyes shot open. Ginny was grinning at him. That grin alone turned him on just as much as her touch. She kept her movements slow at first, but when Harry’s hips jerked into her ministrations.

Harry gritted his teeth, trying to gain back some control. It felt so fucking amazing, but yet… Harry wanted more. He wanted her to be naked too. Hell, he wanted to be hovering over her, their bodies pressed tightly together.

Without a second thought, he took her face into his hands and kissed her hard. Ginny gasped in surprise, her hand pausing and eventually falling away from his cock. With his hands still cupping her face, Harry took the first step toward the bed. Ginny easily fell into step, walking backward until the back of her legs bumped into the mattress.

She fell onto her back, bouncing a little before he crawled over her. Harry didn’t hesitate finding her lips again. His hands moved to slide along her sides, finding her sensitive nipples. Harry lowered his lips to her neck and sucked hard at the sensitive skin. Ginny let out a surprised gasp as her fingers dug into his back. He could feel her nails pressing hard into his skin. That was the tipping point.

Harry nipped at the pulse point pounding in her neck. “Ginny, I want — I want — ”

“I want you to make love to me, Harry.”

Ginny’s confident words came out steady, interrupting his garbled attempts to say the same thing. His head came away from the crook in her neck so he could look into her eyes. Her eyes were locked on his, and the bright fire in them set his skin aflame.

He could see the certainty in her dark eyes. See it in the small smile curling her lips. So he leaned down to kiss her, letting her fingers curl into his hair as she pushed her tongue into her mouth.

Everything in his body thrummed with adrenaline and anticipation. He didn’t know what he was doing, other than he would let her lead him. Breaking their kiss, Harry started trailing his mouth down. Starting at her chin, neck, collar bone, the center of her chest, her left breast, and her right breast. Harry let her noises and reactions decide where he’d spend more time and when he’d continue down to his goal. He pressed a hot open mouthed kiss just above the button of her trousers before his fingers until the clasp and tugged down the zipper.

Ginny lifted herself from the mattress so he was able to slide her trousers and knickers completely off her body. Harry didn’t look away from Ginny long enough to know where he tossed her clothing. Her soft laughter reverberated around the small room. It was one of the best sounds in the world to Harry. He kissed her stomach again, loving the way her body squirmed as if being tickled. Then he went lower. Her soft moans thrilled him. She was hot and wet, so ready for him.

Harry teased her with his tongue, enjoying the way she sighed his name when he reached the spot she craved him. He added one finger. Then a second. He made sure to keep up her ministrations as she writhed under him. Not willing to stop for anything until she came.

“Fuck, Harry, right there. Don’t stop. That’s perfect, don’t —” Ginny’s words became garbled as her body became overwhelmed. Harry followed her instructions as she went over the edge, her cries loud in the late night.

When she fell back into the mattress, her breathing heavy, Harry moved back up her body.

“Holy shit,” Ginny muttered as Harry pressed a kiss to the underside of her jaw. “You truly are getting way too good at that.”

He chuckled. “I had a good teacher.”

She lifted a hand to tilt his chin so she could kiss him. “I’m just hoping my parents are truly asleep or they’ll know how good you are at that.”

Harry could feel his cheeks heating. He lifted himself nearly completely off her. With a quick motion, he reached into his loosened jeans in search of his wand. “Fucking silencing charm.”

Ginny laughed as he cast the spell. “We were a bit distracted to remember it.” She cleared her throat. “While you’re at it, can you cast the contraceptive charm?”

His heart rate picked up as her request registered in his mind. He turned his attention back to her and saw determination and desire in her expression. Taking a deep breath, Harry turned his wand to himself, muttering the incantation under his breath. Ginny's lips curled into a satisfied smirk.

Her hand came up to curl around his neck, pulling him back down over her. Her lips brushed just under his ear as she whispered. “Take off your trousers, Harry.” Then she nipped at his earlobe, sending a shock wave of desire down his body.

Without hesitation, Harry reached down to push his loose trousers down his legs. The cuffs got caught around his ankles, but he didn’t care how ridiculous he looked as he struggled to get them off. His boxers went to the floor much easier.

They were both completely bare. Harry hovered over her as she smiled at him. His heart pounded a brutal pace against his ribs but when Ginny pulled him back to her lips with pressure on his neck Harry forgot about everything but her. The way she brushed her tongue along his lips, how incredible her chest felt against his, and the heat that emanated between them.

Harry didn’t try to speak as he lowered a hand to guide himself into her. He kept his movements slow, giving her every chance to pull away or tell him no, but she didn’t. Instead, she lifted her hips from the mattress, making it easier for him.

The second he entered her, Harry nearly lost it. He’d thought she’d felt incredible before, but this… this was… he couldn’t think of words. Hell, he couldn’t think much at all. It took all his concentration to keep moving slowly. Harry was only slightly aware that his breathing had become heavy as he clenched his jaw in focus.

Ginny’s hand came up to cup his cheek. He looked into her face, needing to see she was okay, that he wasn’t hurting her. His chest tightened at the look of pure affection on her face. The soft smile gracing her lips was perfection.

Fuck, she was perfection.

He stopped when he felt resistance. Ginny, however, didn’t hesitate. Her hands came down to grip his ass, giving him a squeeze. “Don’t stop, Harry.” Her voice was an octave lower and was just as tempting as her body. Her body was so warm and soft under him. Merlin, it would take a stronger man than him to resist anything Ginny Weasley asked of him.

Pressing forward he cringed at the intake of breath that came from Ginny. He froze again. His mind and body were at war. Well, one particular part of his body to be precise, but Harry refused to let his dick be in charge. He held himself over her, letting her adjust. Harry pressed his face into her neck, breathing in the mixture of sweet flowers and sweat. His lips moved on their own accord, gently nipping at her skin as her breathing steadied.

“Move, Harry.”

Her words sent a shiver down his spine, and again he instantly followed her orders. He moved slowly. Pulling back and pushing forward. Back and forward. The feeling was like nothing he’d ever experienced. It was taking all his willpower not to explode in the first few thrusts. But when she let out a satisfied groan his brain nearly shut off completely. He looked down into her blazing eyes and was gone.

He was lost in her, lost in the way her body gripped him. Harry managed one last thrust before it was over. He came down from his orgasm slowly, his senses returning to him one at a time. First was smell (sweat and her amazing flowery scent), touch (her fingers caressing his back), and finally sight (red hair and flushed skin).

Slowly he lifted his body above her, taking in her face. The smile curling her lips was so sweet it made his heart flutter. Her hand came up to cup his jaw. She lifted up to press a gentle kiss to his lips. As she lay back, Harry watched her sweet smile turn into a coy grin. “Well, Potter, I’m glad to see your stamina isn’t just for quidditch or catching bad guys.”

He felt his brows lift high into his damp hair, his own lips curling to match hers. “What can I say, I live to please you, darling”

Her little hum of satisfaction sent pride coursing throughout his body. “I’ll say.” When her head rested on his chest, Harry’s eyes closed in serenity. He was asleep before Ginny’s whispered words of love reached him.

#hinny #harry potter #harry x ginny #harry potter fanfiction #harry potter fan fiction #hinny fic #harry and ginny #little moments that pass us by #hinny fanfic

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lxkeee · 3 months

Note

Good morning/evening.

*deep breaths*

IDK IF IT'S MY PRIDE BUT 👺👺👺👺👺I gets if others want a happy ending and if writter is going to make a happy ending BUT i can't I was so fucking pissed two sides of the same coin (┛ಠДಠ)┛彡┻━┻ (at reader your works are amazing darling) LIKE GET OVER HIM HE CHEATER END OF STORY- plus I want to be petty and unsympathetic.

So if you're done with the story, can I have an alternative ending? Where Lucifer REGRETS AND GROVELS SO MUCH GRIEF to the point his begging reader to give a second chance breaking his pride, BUT OFC. So like in the story reader was chosen to do something about the extermination, so she decides to take a look at this 'hazbin hotel' and meet Lucifer (let's just add feelings because unlike me who doesn't give a shit because the past is past, sorry I just have a messed up head that if someone does something like this I get them to fall back in love and wait for a couple of months then announce that I'm dating someone else-- and see them panic HAHAHAHHA-) So girlies/boys who have same mind set as me your welcome-- they have bonding time and reader assuring him, stroking his hair that everything is ok and she forgives him, so this builts up the feelings he once and still has.

So after 4months and Lucifer constantly visiting whenever reader came down to hell to inspect the hotel. Lucifer accidentally walked in to reader and azrael(is that how to spell his name?) Making out. Lucifer first thought that Azrael forced himself on reader and punched azrael's face calling him foul names. Meanwhile reader and azrael looking at each other with a Lovestruck face still not aware that they parted and the short king cursing at azrael. After reader broke from the trance she happily exclaimed out loud that she and azrael are now dating, meanwhile lucifer:🙃

So Lucifer pulled reader into his room, talking about 'what about us?', 'I thought you forgave me?!', 'are you cheating on me!?'(BOY WTF--)

And reader just stood their dumbfolded giggling inside that Lucifer thought that she forgave him and they are back together, so she explains it to him EVERY LITTLE DETAIL. But he interferes with a 'WE ARE NOT DIVORCE YOU ARE STILL MY WIFE!' pulling anything he can.

Reader didn't gave shit and walk to the door, but Lucifer didn't gave up, he broke his pride for what? To end up even more depressed? So....well he fucked reader hoping she got preggy-

GURL DON'T BLAME ME- I HATEHIM AND LOVE HIM AT THE SAME TIME, sorry if this is to much of a bother 🥲🥲

-꧁ඩා꧂anon

.... Jaw dropped... Mind blown... Speechless... Op I can really feel your emotions through this ask 😭😭😭 The emotional rollercoaster I went through while reading this was wild asf LMAO buttt I already have a specific route I wanted to go through with the story and it can't exactly follow through this idea BUT I'll probably write this as an au though, I'm not making any promises but thank you for the suggestion but I don't think I wanna put our boy even more pain lol

Also, don't worry. You're not a bother^^ I personally think this is a wonderful idea but unfortunately I don't think it would fit into the current storyline, perhaps in a future work maybe?

#lxkeee answers

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yeehaww-sims · 2 years

Photo

MORE PRIDE FLAGS v2

Happy belated pride month everyone! I had intended to have this done during June, but ended up getting busy and having to delay it a bit. Better late than never!! I present: The biggest CC project I’ve done so far.

BGC, 3 .package versions

Merged, unmerged, and 500 swatch version. Note that the 500 swatch version has some issues and will not be maintained.

There’s also a file labeled REQUESTS, this is for flag requests I get in the future, and is an optional download.

500 swatches, including remakes and variations/alternatives.

I realize this is a LOT of flags. It’s a lot for me to even remember. Feel free to remove swatches you’re not going to use, the original will always remain up if you want any back!

This is NOT an override, it’s a separate object

In BB it’s separated into 5 different objects, 100 swatches each.

75-79 Simoleons, to keep them in order, in the Wall Decorations, Paintings & Posters, and Outdoor Wall Decoration Categories

The CC wrench icon covers up some flag names in the thumbnails, and I didn’t realize this until I finished all 500, and I don’t want to do them all again. An image is included in the folder to help with this, and you can find CC wrench icon replacers HERE: [x] [x] [x] [x]

Don’t claim it as your own, and please feel free to tag me if you use it!

Most textures were sourced from Pride-Flags Deviant art, LGBTA Wiki, Tumblr, Twitter, or google search. Most flags will have the term definitions/sources linked.

Don’t download this if you’re a T[SW]ERF/Queerphobe/Bigot or anything like that, fuck you.

[ @maxismatchccworld @ts4pride @emilyccfinds @mmfinds @sssvitlanz ]

Below is a list of every flag I’ve included, as well as the download link, just in case it needs to be edited/updated in the future. A recolor file is included in the zip. Other information and term sources are also below.

DOWNLOAD [SFS] | [MF]

NOTE: IF LINKS ARE NOT WORKING/SHOWING UP ON MY BLOG, OPEN THE PAGE IN THE DASHBOARD. You can do this by clicking the Eye icon in the top right corner of my blog. I don’t know why it’s happening either. This will also show all the links to all the flag’s sources/definitions.

Or just copy/paste the link: https://simfileshare.net/folder/165549/ https://www.mediafire.com/folder/w14lc3zrc46zw/Pride_Flags_v2

See also: Original 83 swatch post [HERE] 103 swatch update post [HERE] Pride Hoodies [HERE] Pronoun Hoodies [HERE]

And if you would like a flag added: Flag Requests

DISCLAIMER: I will not be taking any flags/terms out. Some flags included are reclaimed, uncensored slurs that people genuinely, in good faith, are and identify as. These include D-ke [y], f-gg-t [a,o], F-mb-y [e,o], and Q---r [uee]. There are also some “controversial” flags/indentities, such as Bi Lesbian and similar terms. I personally support these terms, and any good faith identity. As well as this, a couple of the flags included are by creators who are absolutely terrible people, such as the person who made the original bigender flag and the lipstick lesbian flag, among a few others. I chose to include these still for many reasons, one being some people still choose to use these flags for many non-bigoted, often reclaimed, reasons. Another being for gameplay that takes place in specific times, those flags are the ones that would’ve been used then. I am aware of the history of these flags, I respect the people that choose to use/reclaim them, and hope that you understand this decision. Some flags were also added for occult sims, along with being real terms. I just thought they were fun. I am nonbinary, and self-describe as an inclusionist, so if you don’t care for/disagree with a term, just delete it from the file. I do not care, I will not be involved in any discourse, and if you message me about it, I will just ignore you. Please respect my boundaries. Thank you. 🧡🧡🧡

FLAG LIST:

Top row: 🏳‍🌈 Rainbow, Original Gilbert Baker, Gilbert Baker’s Diversity Flag, Philly Pride, Progress Pride, Gilbert Baker Progress flag, QPOC Pride, Gay Anarchy, Fully Automated Luxury Gay Space Communism

Bottom row: Gay & Jewish, Gay & Muslim, Gay & Pagan, Gay & Christian, Gay & Hindu, Gay & Sikh, Gay & Buddhist, Gay & Confucianism, Gay & Shinto, Gay & Taoism [Note: I ended up making all the religious gay flags except for Pagan and Buddhist, if anyone would like a full version of them let me know!]

Top row: Gay & Druidism, COEXIST, Rainbow Love, Gay Furry, Abinary, Abrogender, Abrosexual, Aceflux x2, Asexual Spectrum

Bottom row: Achillean, AegoAroAce x2 [x] [x], Aegoromantic, Aegosexual, Aemotional, Aesthetigender, Agender, Agenderflux/Librafluid, Aliengender

Top row: Aliengender, AlloAce, AlloAro, Altersex, Amatopunk, Ambiamorous, Analterous, Anarchogender x2, Androgynous

Bottom Row: Angeligender x2, Angenital, Angled AroAce, Anthetic, Apagender/Gender Apathetic [originally requested by @maddylena13], Aphysical, Aplatonic x2, Aponian

Top row: Aporagender, Apothiromantic, Apothisexual, AroAce, AroAce Spectrum x2, Aroflux x2, Aromantic, Aromantic Spectrum

Bottom Row: Asensual, Asexual, Aurorasexual/Genderfluid Lesbian, Aurorian, Autiace, Autiaro, Autigender, Autisexual, Bear Brotherhood, Bellusromantic

Top row: Bellussexual, Bi Gay, Bigender x3, Bi Lesbian x2 [x] [x], Bisexual, Boyflux, Buggender

Bottom Row: Bungender x2, Bunnygender x2, Butch, Butch Lesbian, Caedromantic, Caedsexual, Calypsian, Cassgender

Top row: Catgender x4, requested by @fridgethesimmer, Halloween Catgender x2, requested by @darkheartthestccat, Ceterosexual x2, Cinthean, Cisn’t

Bottom row: Cupioromantic, Cupiosexual, Daimogender, Demialterous, Demi-Bi, Demiboy, Demiflux, Demi-Gay, Demigender/Deminonbinary, Demigirl

Top row: Demi-Omni, Demi-Pan, Demiplatonic, Demi-Ply, Demiromantic, Demisensual, Demisexual, Demiromantic, Doggender x2

Bottom Row: Doggender x4, Dollboy x2, Dollgender x3 Drag Community

Top row: Drag Community, Dreadromantic x2, Dyke, Eclipsian, Enbian, Enboric, Ethical Non-Monogamy/ENM, Fa’afafine, Faegender

Bottom row: Faggot, Faunagender x2, Faygender, Femaric, Femboy, Feminamoric, Floragender x3

Top row: Fluidflux x2, Frayromantic, Fraysexual, Futch x3 [x] [x] [x], Gai, Galaxian, Gay Man/MLM

Bottom row: Gay Man/MLM, Gay Man Double Mars, Gay Man by Pequodz x2, Gay Man by Sleepygender [both requested by anonymous], It/Its gay x2 [x] [The second was made by a user called magiciansrabbit, but it appears they have deactivated and I no longer can find the source], Neopronoun Gay, She/Her gay x2 [x] [x]

Top row: They/them gay, [pronouns & gay flags requested by anonymous] GENDERANARCHY x6, Genderfae, Genderfaun, Genderflor

Bottom row: Genderfluid, Genderflux, Genderfrith, Genderfruct, Gender Hoarder, Genderless, GenderNH/Gender Non-Human, Genderpunk x2, Genderqueer

Top row: Gendersatyr, Genderselkie, Gendersylph, Gendervoid x5, Ghostgender x2 [I cannot for the life of me find the source for this one] [x]

Bottom row: Ghostgender x2 [Again, I cannot find the proper source for this one] [x], Ghostgender [the other definition], Girlflux, Gender Non-Conforming/GNC, Greygender, Greyromantic, Greysexual, Heartless Aromantic, Heteroflexible

Top row: Hijra x2 [x] [x], Homoflexible, Intergender x2, Intersex x2, Juparian x2, Juxera

Bottom row: Juxera, Kenochoric, Kingender, Lavender Boy, Leather Community, Lesbian x5 [x] [x] [x] [x] [x] [APL’s originally requested by anonymous]

Top row: Labrys Lesbian x2, Trans Labrys Lesbian x2, Lesbian Double Venus, Lesbian Anarchist, He/Him Lesbian x4

Bottom row: It/Its Lesbian x4, Neopronoun Lesbian x2, They/Them Lesbian x4 [pronouns & gay flags requested by anonymous]

Top row: Lesboy, Librafeminine, Libramasculine, Libranonbinary, Lithosexual, Loveless Aromantic x2 [x] [x], Loveloose Aromantic, Lovequeer, Lunagender

Bottom row: Lunagender, Lunarian x2, Lunettian x2, Magicgender x2, apparently mislabeled in their thumbnails oops [x] [x], Māhū, Marsic, Mascic

Top row: Maverique, Mercurian x2, Mergender x2, Mermaidgender x3 [x] [x], MOGAI, Moobloomio [requested by @fridgethesimmer]

Bottom row: Moobloomgender x2 [requested by @fridgethesimmer], Moongender x3, Multisexual Spectrum/M-Spec, M-Spec Gay, M-Spec Lesbian, Multigender, Multisexual

Top row: Muxe, Nebularian, Nebularomantic, Nebulasexual, Neptunian, Neptunic, Neurogender, Neutric, Neutrois, Non-SAM Aromantic

Bottom row: Nonbinary, Nonbinary Boy, Nonbinary Girl, Novarian, Nuumian, Objectum Sexual, Obligender, Omnisexual, Omni Gay, Omni Lesbian

Top row: Orchidromantic, Orchidsexual, Oriented Aroace, Pan Gay, Pan Lesbian x2 [x] [x], Panromantic, Pangender, Paraboy

Bottom row: Paragender, Paragirl, Paranonbinary, Plantgender x4 [x] [x], Plato-Ambivalent, Plato-Indifferent, Plato-Negative

Top row: Plato-Positive, Polyamorous Relationship Collector, Polyamorous x5 [x] [x] [x] [x] [x], Polygender, Polysexual, Ply Gay

Bottom row: Ply Lesbian x2 [x] [x], Pomogender, Pomoromantic, Pomosexual x2, Proxvir x2, Pupgender x2

Top row: Pupgender x2, Queer Anarchy, Queer x2 [chevrons originally requested by anonymous], Queerplatonic x2 [x] [x], Questioning, Quoiromantic, Quoisexual

Bottom row: Quoigender, Relationship Anarchy x3, Robotgender x4, [x] [x] [x] Robotogender x2

Top row: Romance-Ambivalent, Romance-Indifferent, Romance-Negative, Romance-Positive, Roseromantic, Rosesexual, Dual Rose, Sapphillean x2, Sapphic

Bottom row: Saturnic, Sex-Ambivalent, Sex-Indifferent, Sex-Negative, Sex-Positive, Singualarian, Solarian x2, Solaric, Sonnian

Top row: Spacialian, Stargender x2, Stellarian x2, Stellaric, Straight Gay x3 [x] [x], Straight Lesbian

Bottom row: Straight Lesbian, Strayt, Sungender x2, Systemfluid, T4T/Trans for Trans, Technosexual x2 [x] [x], Term Collector, Terraric

Top row: Torensexual, Toric, Therian, Tomboy, Transgender, Trans Man, Trans Woman, Transandrogynous, Transaporine, Transfeminine

Bottom row: Transfeminine, Transfemme Gay, Trans Gay x5 [x] [x] [x] [x] [x] [requested by anonymous], TransHet, Trans Lesbian x2 [x] [x] [requested by anonymous]

Top row: Trans Lesbian x3 [x] [x] [x] [requested by anonymous], Transmasculine x2, Transmasc Gay, TransNeuFem x2, TransNeuMasc x2

Bottom row: Transneutral AFAB, Transneutral AMAB, Transneutral x2, Transoutherine, Transxenine, Black & Trans, Trigender, Trixensexual, Trixic

Top row: Twink, Two-Spirit x5 [x] [x] [x] [x] [x], Unlabeled x2, Unlabeled Gender, Uranic

Bottom row: Vampiregender x7 [x] [x] [x], Venusian x2, Venusic

Top row: Viramoric, Voidpunk, Voidrian, Warlockgender, Weregender x2, Werewolfgender x3 [x] [x], Witchgender

Bottom row: Witchgender, Wizardgender x3 [x] [x], Xenic, Xenogender x3 [x] [x] [x], Xyric, Zodiacgender

🌈🏳‍🌈🌈🏳‍🌈🌈🏳‍🌈🌈🏳‍🌈🌈🏳‍🌈🌈

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hyperfixationstati0n · 2 months

Text

I had to write an alternate ending for a book for a class and obviously i did tbosas 😔 thought id post it here for shits and giggles

————————————————————————-

His mind raced for a plausible explanation. Could he have been involved in a freak accident? A training death? He was cleaning a weapon, and maybe it went off by mistake? He landed on the only thing he could think of–the truth. Well, most of it.

“...Sejanus. I know I’m not the one who hung him but I felt responsible for him. He was like my brother…I-I should’ve been there to protect him. Keep him out of trouble like I said I would.”

Lucy Gray’s face softens, any trace of suspicion seeming to leave her body. Good, he was in the clear.

“Oh…Coryo, It’s not your fault. I’m sorry I brought it up, I should’ve figured.” She seals her apology with a kiss on his cheek and a sweet smile. “C’mon. It's hot and the lake is close now anyway. We can cool off.”

She grabs his hand and starts leading him along again, pulling the wagon behind them. He lets out a sigh of relief. Maybe he should’ve gone into acting, he thinks. But then again, what good did that do when the life ahead of him was just woods. Literally. He still can’t help but think about going back, but how would she react to that? He couldn’t. He was stuck in another meaningless life with a meanigless future.

Over the many nights they spent travling further north, he stayed up at night thinking about if he just stayed in 12, he could be on his way to district 2 right now, becoming an officer. He looks over at Lucy Gray’s joyful demeanor as they make their way up through the woods, and he finds as the weeks go on it brings him less and less comfort.

They never do find the people up North. Billy Taupe and the other rebels were wrong. Lucy Gray had been a fool for having a shred of hope, but he was the bigger fool for following in her footsteps. He was too far gone to ever make it back to District 12 alive. He kissed his hopes of that goodbye 30 miles ago.

Slowly, surely, the days turn into weeks. The weeks turn into months. He loses track, but he can tell by the growth of his hair that it's been almost a year. Resentment grows, but it only seems to grow in him. He snaps, losing his mind one night. He looks over at Lucy Gray, sleeping soundly in the dingy makeshift tent they had been living in for the past few weeks, and disappears into the night. He treks along in the dark until he feels something cool on the back of his neck. He looks up into the sky. Little white flecks start to fall over him. He’s immediately reminded of Dean Highbottoms words, although now they seem a lifetime ago. In a way, they were.

“Do you hear that, Coriolanus? It’s the sound of snow…falling.”

He resents the Dean for being right. He resents Sejanus and the other rebels for getting him in a big enough mess to have to run away. He resents Lucy Gray and her ever-growing love for him. He resents himself most. He could’ve been an officer, maybe made his way back to the Capitol and his family. But instead he was miles away from any sort of civilization. What a disgrace to the Snow name. He was a nobody.

Coriolanus never did make it back to 12. Or anywhere for that matter. He wandered and wandered as the blanket of snow crunches at his feet. He was far enough away that Lucy Gray wouldn’t find him until he was a pile of bones. And that's what he became. How ironic it was that he had the same fate of the Lucy Gray from the song–lost in the snow. A ghost story.

How much more ironic it was that the very thing he prided himself most in was his demise. The Hunger Games died out, and so with them did he.

The storm came on before its time

She wandered up and down

And many a-hill did Lucy climb

But never reached the town

In some strange twist of fate, Snow still landed on top

AN: i’m not sure how i feel about this but i didn’t have anything new to post. i hope you guys liked it but feedback would be much appreciated 🫶

#the hunger games #tbosas #thg #the ballad of songbirds and snakes #coriolanus snow #lucy gray baird #sejanus plinth #tom blyth #rachel zegler #josh andres rivera

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jerzwriter · 3 months

Text

Thank you so much to @stars-are-within-me for sending this prompt from this list for Jessica and Casey. I'm sorry it took me a while, but it sounds like the timing may have been good for you. I hope you enjoy it. Sending big hugs. 🩷🩷🩷

Book: Open Heart (Pre-Series) Pairing: Casey MacTavish (F!MC) x Jessica Phillips (F!OC) Words: 934 Rating: Teen Summary: When the couple step out to celebrate Jessica's achievement, Casey gives her a gift that money could never buy. A/N: @choicesfebruary2024 Eros/Philia

My Masterlist | Casey & Jess Masterlist | Open Heart Masterlist

The second floor laboratory of the Johson Pavillion rarely saw this type of energy. Sure, med school students were enthusiastic, but their energy could never rival that of the second graders in Jessica’s after-school program. The enrichment program began three months before; she built it from the ground up despite the naysayers who swore she never make it work. Now, not only was it working, but Thursday had become her favorite day of the week; more importantly, it was her student’s favorite day, too.

The very students who were currently creating utter chaos as they wrapped up their projects and gathered their belongings for dismissal. But Jess had it under control, standing in the center of it all with a goofy grin she couldn’t hide if she tried. She wasn’t sure if the lingering scent of chemicals, the buzz of the fluorescent lighting, or the excited chatter providing this natural high, but it felt too good to question. Perhaps this is what fulfillment felt like.

Across the room, Casey beamed with pride as she put away the last microscope, offering a little wink when she caught her girlfriend’s eye. With the last of the students headed out the door, she thought they’d finally get a moment alone when a tsunami of curls bedazzled with colorful barrettes bounced past her, and two arms wrapped her arms around Jessica’s waist in a tight embrace.

“Goodbye, Ms. Phillips!” the young girl grinned as her mother shuffled back into the lab, quickly taking her daughter by the hand.

“Now, Cassandra! You already said goodbye to Ms. Phillips! Don’t you think she might want to go home now?”

“It’s fine,” Jess grinned. “She did a great job today. I think you may have a future doctor here!”

“I’ve never seen her this excited about science,” the mom nodded. “Cassondra says the way you teach makes it fun.”

“It is,” Casey agreed. “I sure wish I had a teacher like Ms. Phillips when I was in school.”

“Well, your enthusiasm makes it easy.” After giving Cassandra a side hug and a high five, Jess returned to mindlessly wiping the tables, utterly oblivious to Casey’s adoring stare. Her cheeks turned a delightful shade of pink when their eyes finally met.

“What are you smiling at,” Jess blushed.

“Oh, that’s easy...” Casey said, crossing the room. “I’m smiling at you. Because I’m so proud of you!”

“Oh, stop,” Jess dismissed, but Casey wasn’t having it.

“I most certainly will not! This whole program was your idea; I know how hard you fought to see it through. Now, look at those kids! They look forward to coming here to learn more after a full day in school. Look, I was a nerd, but I’m not sure I would have even signed on for that... but you have them loving it and running back in to hug you before they leave.” She brushed a loose tendril away from Jess’s face, her eyes filled with adoration. “You are perfect.”

If Jess’s cheeks had turned pink before, they were nothing short of crimson now.

“Stop it,” she sputtered. “It’s... it’s nothing.”

With a scolding expression, Casey pulled her close. “I most certainly will not stop! You deserve all the accolades for pulling this off. Seriously, Jess...you earned this! Just pretend you have a penis for a moment.”

“Wait...What?” Jess laughed.

“I mean it... can you just imagine if you were one of the guys. Imagine Manny or Josh, or... god forbid Dirk... if any of them were in your shoes, they’d be running to the Dean’s to tell them how magnificent they are... how lucky the program is to have them... you need to start doing that. You have every right to be proud of your achievements. Don’t ever diminish them.”

Jess looked down between them, slowly raising her eyes to Casey’s again. “I... I think you’re right.”

“I know I’m right. Now, let me treat you to dinner to celebrate.”

“Casey... you don’t have to...”

“Uh-uh-uh.... PENIS! Pretend you have a penis!”

“All right,” Jess laughed heartily. “All right, you can take me out to celebrate, hon. What did you have in mind?”

“If we’re celebrating you, it’s your pick.”

“All right...sushi? I’ve been dying to go to Hayashi.”

“Sushi?” Casey teased. “I offer you a free meal of your choice... and you want raw fish and seaweed?”

“It’s delicious, you heathen!” Jess insisted. She playfully pushed Casey away to retrieve their coats from the closet. “I’ll get you to like it yet.”

“No, you won’t.”

Jess helped Casey into her coat, spinning her around to place a peck on her lips when she was done. “Oh, yes. I will!”

“Fine! Sushi it is.”

“Yey,” Jessica clapped. “And by the time we go home, you’ll like it, too!”

“I probably will,” Casey surrendered. “How do you always manage to persuade me with your charms?”

“I can’t tell you that!” Jess winked. “A girl’s gotta have some secrets. Besides, if I told you my secret was the scent of the lemon cleaning fluid and the buzz of the fluorescent lights getting you under my control, it wouldn’t sound terribly romantic, would it?”

Casey rolled her eyes with a grin. “No. And it doesn’t sound like that would work, either.”

She extended her hand, and their finger intertwined. They were about to step outside when Jess came to stop.

“Case... thank you... I.. I am proud of myself, and it means a lot to me that you’re proud of me, too.”

“Jess, I was proud of you before this... but now? I think you’re a rock star.”

@choicesficwriterscreations @openheartfanfics

Tagging others separately.

#choices fanfic #open heart #open heart choices #choices open heart #open heart fanfic #playchoices #playchoices fanfic

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slashersteve · 1 year

Text

iii. winter

part three of confetti ✦ previous part ✦ series masterlist ✦ archive link

pairing: Single Dad!Steve Harrington/Female Reader

summary: As Hawkins enters the winter months, Steve starts thinking seriously about his romantic relationships - past and potential future ones - and isn’t sure he’s ready to let someone become a serious part of his and Cassie’s life. The problem is…he hasn’t been able to stop thinking about you.

warnings/extra tags: cursing, mentions of alcohol, the softest vanilla SMUT I’ve ever written like it's pretty vague but still enough to be considered nsfw so read at your own discretion, surprise character appearances, a parent trap alskjaskja, angsty tm so beware, daddy steve being my (your) beloved, go give @gothbitchshit a bouquet of flowers for dealing with me and these ridiculously long chapters, edited by me have mercy this chapter has been the beautiful bane of my existence

note: i publicly apologize for this being posted well into spring. Not to be a basic author note but *insert the horrors and atrocities right here* i also apologize in advance for something else in the end...anyway, I hope you all enjoy this extra long chapter of single daddy steve 💙

✦✦✦

Cassie loved the mall.

She really just enjoyed the vibrant colors of it as it was the complete opposite color scheme of Hawkins itself. It was bright, and always full, and lively, especially when Christmas was just around the corner. If Cassie were being honest though, she would say she enjoyed going to Starcourt because her dad would get her ice cream every time, even on a day like this where snow covered the ground outside.

Also, it meant she could get the full day to be with her dad, even if he was busy behind the ice cream counter in his silly sailor uniform, complete with the white hat that read “AHOY” across the front that he’d somehow stuff his hair under.

Cassie was given a matching one, but it sat on the table top of the booth she was currently sitting in, headphones placed over her head instead. She was nodding her head to the music, kicking her feet out to its funky beat. She hadn’t quite memorized the songs by title, rather by sound but she liked this one the most; really she liked all of them.

It had all she had been listening to since Steve had given her your walkman you gifted her, and Cassie had been waiting on another mixtape from you (she had practically begged you when she last saw you last week, which was at a school presentation for school safety, she remembers…she also remembers looking over and seeing her dad pushing people just to stand by you).

In front of her was her over break homework packet, her math homework to be specific. Cassie prided herself in being good at it, having been applauded by her teacher Mrs. Holland numerous times in class. There were hardly any red marks on homework when it was returned to her, too, something her dad was always impressed by when she’d bring it back to him, especially if he hadn't helped her at all, so she wasn’t planning on falling behind.

She counted away at the images of the apples. This particular section she was working on was on addition and she meticulously counted them all together with her candy cane themed pencil her teacher had passed out to the class the week prior.

One…two…three…four…

Twenty-two, there were twenty-two apples. She filled it in on the empty box behind the equal sign.

The patrons were used to seeing Cassie here on occasion, though every so often somebody who was not from Hawkins and visiting from a neighboring town (as Starcourt was quite popular because of its size), would look at her and wonder why a little girl was sitting all by herself.

If they asked Cassie, she’d simply point to her dad behind the counter and say, “I’m not alone! My daddy is right here!” Then, Steve would wave at her, and the person would awkwardly walk off. That was the typical Saturday spent at Scoops Ahoy, but today something different would happen, something neither Cassie nor Steve were expecting just a week before Christmas.

In the middle of Cassie’s music playing, someone had taken off her headphones. She had gasped, feeling her heart jump out of her chest with fear and confusion as to what happened- she hardly got upset, and her streak still stands as the moment she turned to see who had done such a thing, her irritation vanished.

“Robin!” Cassie shouted at the sight of the sandy blonde haired woman. She smiled widely at Cassie, opening her arms just as the little girl hopped into them, “I didn’t know you were coming!”

“Long time no see, huh Tiny Harrington?” Robin Buckley had said, embracing Cassie warmly as it had been a while since she last saw her favorite child, “Where’s your dad? Is he- oh come on .”

Her blue eyes darted to Steve behind the counter, not remembering the last time she’d seen Steve in the ridiculous Scoops Ahoy uniform they had to wear the summer they became unlikely friends. Cassie giggled, taking Robin’s hand in hers and leading her toward the counter. Steve had yet to see them, too focused on making a U.S.S. Butterscotch (complete with some peppermint candy swirls for the Holidays). He hadn't even heard Cassie shout Robin’s name so excitedly.

Robin looked down at Cassie, placing a finger over her lips then winking at her as she rang the bell by the counter. Cassie giggled, but suppressed it as she didn’t want to alarm her dad.

“Be right with you,” Steve called back to her, and Robin scoffed and rang it again…then again…and then again. Steve’s shoulder’s visibly became tense, and he let out an exasperated sigh before he started to turn around.

“Alright, alright what can I-” he stopped when his eyes fell upon Robin, and she smirked at him, “Oh my god, you didn’t tell me you were coming, Robin? Holy shit-”

“I wanted it to be a surprise- and it certainly is, ” Robin gestured to Steve and then the entire place as she said, “You’re working here ? I thought you said you got a third job last time we spoke.”

Steve’s cheeks became flushed, embarrassed that Robin had caught him red handed like this. The truth was that Steve was actually hiding this job from Robin, keeping his third job he mentioned in passing to her whenever they spoke over the phone very vaguely .

“Daddy started working here in the summer,” Cassie stated, outing Steve even more and Robin’s jaw dropped, “I like it because I get free ice cream! He can get you free ice cream too, you know!”

Robin looked at Cassie and ruffled her hair, “I spent way too much time in this place, I’ll pass on the ice cream, so hey…that just means more ice cream for you.”

Cassie looked confused, but with Robin’s final statement she grew more content and nodded eagerly at the idea of more ice cream.

“So all summer you’ve been working here, slinging ice cream- wearing the hat - you hated that hat,” Robin said, gesturing to him. Steve licked his suddenly dry lips, and turned away from Robin to finish completing the U.S.S. Butterscotch sundae as he said, “I needed a third job, and the manager remembered me…”

“No way. I thought he might have you on the ‘Never Working Here Again’ list after the summer you well- we got fired,” Robin chided, and Steve laughed sarcastically as he turned and placed the sundae down, calling out the name of the patron. They took it, a few younger girls, and thanked him shyly before running off giggling. Robin scoffed at that, and Steve appeared to not even notice they were clearly crushing on the sailor who worked at Scoops Ahoy.

“Yeah…actually I had to bring Cassie up and he decided to give me the job when I proved she existed…hence why I’m wearing the hat and following…stupid company policy to keep the damn- ahem- dang job,” Steve finally replied, admitting that part to Robin. Robin crossed her arms, knowing that to be true as she had told Steve he could probably bring up that he’s a single dad and get away with anything.

“Well, I’m not judging,” Robin lied, and Steve knew it, “You just could’ve been honest about it.”

She wondered what other things he had been keeping from her…

“How did you find me anyway?” Steve questioned, glancing down at Cassie who was gazing up at Robin with wonder and disbelief in her eyes that Robin was here. It made him smile softly before his eyes lifted back up to meet Robin’s.

“Are you kidding me…ask any mom at the grocery store and I can get your entire schedule,” Robin said. She laughed at Steve’s horrified expression at the idea of that and waved him off as she said, “Joking. I asked Mrs. K and she said to check Scoops Ahoy. And here you are…she just didn’t say you would be working here.”

She looked around, feeling nostalgia come over her from the memories in this mall ice cream parlor. She remembered the dread of being put on shifts with Steve Harrington, once King of Hawkins High and all around asshole, and then…she remembered the warmer parts, ones where they actually became friends and she started to actually have fun working and talking with him. He was very different than she thought he would be, and if someone had told her that first day she put on the silly sailor uniform and prayed a meteor would hit and kill her before her first shift with Steve that she’d consider him her best friend in the future…she would’ve laughed then cried into her hands dramatically.

“Robin, Robin,” Cassie was grabbing her hand, “How long are you going to stay? Please say for like… months .”

Robin smiled at Cassie and replied, “Sorry kiddo, I’m only here for a few days because I’ll start to miss my other favorite person, but before you get sad- I have a lot of things planned for us, including finding you an early Christmas gift. What do you say? Want to go check out some stores while your dad slings ice cream into cones?”

Her brown eyes lit up, and she turned to her dad as she said, “Can I go with Robin, daddy?”

Steve crossed his arms over his chest, and said, “Did you finish your homework?”

Robin rolled her eyes for Cassie, but she had practically ran to the booth, and snatched the paper off of the table before running back and waving it in the air. Steve took it, giving it a once over, before he nodded.

“Yeah, go ahead- make sure you stay with Robin though, Cass, you know how crazy Christmas shoppers could be,” he told Cassie with a pointed look, Cassie nodded again.

“I will, I promise!”

“You know I’d never let anything happen to her, Popeye,” Robin said, bringing back the infamous nickname from their Scoops Ahoy days. Steve visibly grimaced at being called that, but he nodded, knowing that out of everyone he could trust Robin with his daughter.

“Great, then we’ll come back, we’ll all go out to eat- hopefully you have a change of outfit- then we’ll catch up, yeah?”

“Sounds like a plan,” Steve replied with a nod.

So, the two girls were off, Cassie holding on tightly to Robin’s hand and already talking her ear off (though Robin could give her a run for her money for sure) as they exited Scoops Ahoy together and entered the crowd of Starcourt Mall in search of a Christmas gift for Cassie.

✧ ✧ ✧

Cassie had dragged Robin to a lot of stores in the span of an hour and half, so much that Robin’s feet were already killing her, but she held on for Cassie as she seemed very particular on what she wanted…except the little girl wasn’t really saying what it was exactly.

“You clearly want something specific, Tiny, so come on- spit it out,” Robin told Cassie after the fifth store they came out with nothing. She didn’t want to rush her, actually loving spending this time with Cassie as it had been since the beginning of the year she had enough time to make the trip down here from New York.

It was unusual for Cassie to not say what was on her mind, so whatever it was…Robin was insanely curious.

“Is it something your dad won’t approve of?” Robin gasped when Cassie didn’t reply right away, “Oh- well now you gotta tell me.What is it?”

Cassie looked up at Robin with wide eyes as she said, “I want… roller skates , but I can’t skate and I’m scared that Santa knows that so he won’t get me them, but I really want them.”

Robin did not expect that. Not at all. She stared at the little girl blankly, and for some reason the only use of roller skates she could think of was one of those outdoor hamburger places where the service workers wear skates. Do they do that still? Robin shook her head at her thought.

“So you didn’t ask Santa for them because you thought he probably wouldn’t give you them because you can’t skate?” Robin asked for further clarification. Cassie nodded, looking actually sad about it. Robin hummed in thought, looking around Starcourt, trying to remember a store here that sold roller skates for kids before she settled her eyes on Cassie, “Well thank god I’m not Santa. Let’s go find you some, Tiny.”

Cassie was actually the one to drag Robin to the store, very clearly having had her eye on some already. She was the one dragging Robin now, up until they got to this sport’s store Robin doesn’t remember ever being here. Cassie led her toward the roller skates, saying hello to the worker who greeted them when they walked in, and then she stopped in front of a mini display.

They were purple skates with yellow flower designs on them and the wheels were a darker shade of purple. Very clearly they were training skates for kids like Cassie who want to learn. And, Robin noticed, they were also on sale , which is very, very common around the holidays and good for Robin.

“Oh wow these are cute,” Robin complimented them and Cassie nodded excitedly.

“I saw them when my daddy brought us here to buy more shoes!” Cassie told Robin, “I really, really want them.” She pressed her hands against the display, and just then the same worker who had greeted them was approaching them.

“Is there anything I can help you with?” they had asked Robin. She looked at them, then pointed to the skates, telling Cassie to give them her shoe size. The worker nodded, saying they’d be right back and for Cassie to take a seat.

She did as told, hopping onto one of the chairs and Robin leaned on one leg, wondering where Cassie might’ve found a sudden interest in roller skating. It can’t have been Steve, both him and her were horrible at ice skating that one year when Cassie was only 4 they decided to go to the ice rink set up in Hawkins Downtown for the winter. And he seemed way too busy to have suddenly learned how to skate properly…

“So…roller skates huh? Why the sudden interest? Your dad’s not skating again right? Because he’s horrible at it,” Robin said just as the worker returned with the proper sized skates. Robin shooed them away, deciding that she would help Cassie get them on herself. She knelt down in front of the girl as Cassie kicked her snow boots off, revealing candy cane themed socks.

Cassie laughed at Robin’s jab at her dad before she said, “No, it’s his friend.”

As Robin got the first skate on she shot Cassie a questionable look, “Friend? Your dad’s only friend is me .”

Cassie nodded though, and then she said a name, your name, that Robin has never heard before in her life, at least out of Steve’s mouth.

“She’s very nice! And I know that if I have these then she’ll teach me how to skate, she told me she used to skate all the time when she was little,” Cassie started to boast, a wide smile growing on her lips, eagerly talking about you .

All Robin could do though was stare at Cassie with a bewildered look as she thought she? A woman? Steve’s friends with a woman?

“Woah woah woah, wait- she’s your dad’s friend ?”

Cassie hummed, “Mmhm, I really like her…and my daddy does too… a lot .”

She supposed that Steve was hiding a lot more from her than she thought, starting with him working at Scoops Ahoy again, and a mysterious woman Cassie claims he likes, in his daughter’s own words, a lot . Robin helped her get the other skate on, navigating in her mind this new information but deciding that she should get as much information as possible from Cassie before she definitely confronts Steve about it later.

“A mysterious lady your dad likes… interesting …tell me more about her, my tiny friend. What is she like? How do you know your dad likes her a lot? What have you seen ?”

Cassie stared at her, hanging onto every question before she looked away in thought, even placing her hand into her chin before she started to first tell Robin how nice you were, how she would give you carrots for lunch because she didn’t want them, she told her how you went apple picking with them and how you got Steve to actually bake (which shocked Robin very much), and how you even taught her to bake as well.

She boasted on and on about you, before ending it on spending Thanksgiving together (something that made Robin’s jaw promptly drop in complete surprise), and telling her about your gift, gesturing to the walkman headphones that rested on her neck.

“Holy shit,” Robin said, pleasantly surprised by all this information, and kind of miffed that Steve hadn’t told her anything. She couldn’t even find it in herself to censor herself as her thoughts ran rampant.

She knew Steve, before Cassie, before Cassie’s mom , and she knew him after as well…the possibility of him letting anyone in his life like this, so far as inviting them to a family dinner, seemed quite impossible…and well…at least she knew exactly what the main topic of discussion was going to be after Cassie goes to bed tonight…

Robin turned her attention back onto the skates Cassie was currently wearing, setting aside her intentions with Steve for now, and she stood up, and held her hands out. Cassie took them, and Robin could feel them shaking underneath his grasp.

In fact, her legs were shaking too, like a newborn deer or something and it even made Robin nervous because she did not have good balance. She wondered if Cassie could ever want to learn how to skate…how you , and every other roller skater did it too.

“I don’t know about this Cassie…” Robin admitted to her, but Cassie clenched her jaw and shook her head.

“No…no I want them,” she stated, forcing herself to become more confident, “She will teach me if I have them…and then I’ll get good at it and maybe I can teach my daddy too how to skate.”

The thought made Robin laugh, and she stepped backwards, Cassie rolling along with her, and almost falling forward and falling on her face had Robin not been holding her, “Gee…these are definitely not Steve of Approved…but honestly…looks like I have competition here with gift-giving…”

Robin’s eyes moved to the walk-man, before she rolled Cassie back to sit down and said, “Okay, I’ll get them for you…but I’m getting you literally every protection gear this place has to offer so your dad doesn’t have a heart attack.”

Cassie almost cried with happiness, already kicking them off so they could gather the rest of her gift around the store.

Afterwards, Robin decided to treat Cassie to a movie, buying her whatever snack she wanted and the largest popcorn as well. She enjoyed every second of it, giddy already because of the skates that were packed away into a shopping bag.

Then, they returned to Scoops Ahoy just in time for Steve’s shift to come to an end. He had changed his outfit completely, wearing a striped sweater underneath the jacket he was currently zipping up and a pair of jeans. The outfit change made total sense considering the current snowy climate outside.

Cassie was calling him, running into the ice cream parlor and he was quick to catch her and lift her up into his arms with a wide loving smile on his face. Robin strolled up a few seconds after, and Cassie hopped out of her dad’s arms and started to tell him that her Aunt Robin got her a gift.

Steve stared at the large bag, and Robin smirked as she set it down on one of the empty tables as Steve said cautiously, “Uh…what did she get you?...What did you get her?” Steve was looking at Robin now almost suspiciously and Cassie climbed onto a chair.

“Roller skates! She got me roller skates!”

Steve’s brown eyes widened at Cassie’s answer, and Robin pulled out the box to show him the skates properly.

“Robin- are you- are you serious?” Steve asked, being sure to not sound or look mad in front of Cassie, especially with how excited she seemed to be about this, but he was just concerned with how safe these things would be, already imagining Cassie falling and crying. The idea simply hurt his chest and filled him with fatherly fear.

“Sure am,” Robin said, slapping the side of the roller skates like a brand new car, “Don’t worry, Popeye, I bought her the latest of protection gear, if she falls the ground would be more hurt than her.”

Steve crossed his arms, still baffled by the gift.

“Besides, I need to make sure I remain Cassie’s favorite aunt by coming to town once in a while and getting her whatever she wants,” Robin added, smiling at Cassie who was still beaming about the skates.

Steve shook his head, amused by Robin’s statement and then he said, “I’m still not…I don’t know, I didn’t even know you wanted roller skates Cass.”

Cassie seemed to finally sense her dad’s hesitation, and she quickly turned to him and claimed that she would be careful, and that you could teach her.

At the mention of your name, Steve felt the air in his chest release softly and his cheeks had grown quite warm, wondering how it didn’t occur to him that you were the reason for her newfound interest in this. It almost made him smile widely, but he settled on a small one that was barely visible.

It was visible enough for Robin though who had made sure to look at Steve when Cassie mentioned you. She saw his flushed cheeks, his sudden hesitation all but vanishing in mere seconds. And then Steve settled his eyes back on the skates then at Cassie before he started to nod.

“Alright, yeah, that’s true…she’s gonna love that you got a pair,” Steve said, voice filled with the warmth that matched his cheeks and now his chest. Cassie cheered, then Robin cheered too with Cassie, making Steve’s smile grow and uncross his arms.

The three had gone out to eat at a diner after they left Starcourt, Cassie ordering belgian waffles for dinner, Robin’s treat again, before they were settling into the Harrington household. It was just a small house, two bedrooms, but the living room was pretty big for a small home. A Christmas tree was set up by the window in the front, lit up with vibrant colors and decorated with ornaments Cassie had made at school. Gifts were already set under the tree, wrapped pretty decently.

Robin was lounging out the couch, having kicked off her shoes and she was watching Cassie roll around the living room, her head covered by a large purple helmet that matched the color of her skates and pads wrapped around her knees and elbows.

She was laser focused, holding onto the wall for dear life and looking down with a determined look in her eyes as she rolled forward little by little. Steve was in the kitchen, and Robin could already smell the sweet scent of hot chocolate.

With the heater kicked on, and the night still young, Steve came out holding two mugs, one for him and one for Robin, Cassie had declined any because she wanted to focus on skating during the hour before she would go to bed.

So, while Cassie did that (trying not to crash into the tree for example), Steve and Robin decided to catch up. Robin told him about her job, and the new apartment she moved into with Vickie, she told him how Nancy and Jonathan were doing, and some fun anecdotes she knew Steve would get a good laugh at.

Steve told her a few things, starting with the obvious that he was working at Scoops Ahoy again which made Robin tease him about it again.

“Hey, like I said, I needed a third job, and he agreed to give me a set schedule, weekends only,” Steve told Robin as he leaned back on the couch.

“No, no I totally get it, I just think it’s funny that you willingly put that uniform on again, you hated it more than I did,” Robin said, bending her leg against her chest and resting her chin on her knee as she laughed.

“Yeah, but that was when I was fresh out of high school and still cared about my self-image, as a daddy now that wasn’t even a factor,” Steve said, smirking when Robin grimaced at him calling himself daddy . It was fine coming out of Cassie’s mouth, because Steve was her actual dad, but Steve calling himself that? It made her want to gag and Steve knew that. It’s why he said it in the first place.

“If you’re not Cassie, I don’t want to hear you call yourself daddy,” Robin said, and Steve laughed in response.

“Speaking of Cassie,” Steve started, turning his head to find her sitting on the floor defeated. He got up, concern crossing over his features for a second as Cassie looked up at him with a frown. She hadn’t fallen, no, they would’ve heard her crash and hit the ground. She was just upset that she wasn’t a master skater already.

Amusement replaced that concern, and he held his hand out of her take and told her, “Call it a night, yeah? And don’t be so sad, Cass, it’s going to take more than one night of practice.”

She sighed, and took her dad’s hand and he pulled her back up to her feet, rolling forward and he poked her sides slightly. Cassie giggled, finally smiling before he told her to get ready for bed. She complied, and Steve gave her a gentle push, letting her roll her way down the hall and toward her room.

Robin got up, stretching her arms out before she decided to help out by taking the now empty mugs to the sink while Steve went with Cassie to help her take the skates and all the gear off. After a few minutes, Cassie came back out to thank Robin for the skates and to give her a big hug before she returned to her room for the night.

Robin was walking around the living room, eying the various portraits that she hadn’t seen since she was last here. There were a few new ones, like Cassie in a tinkerbell costume in front of Mrs. K’s house next door. Her eyes shifted to the older ones, resting on Cassie when she was just a toddler before moving on to one of Steve and Cassie when she was only just born.

He was sitting on a lazy-boy, one that used to be in Steve’s old house when he still lived with his parents. Steve was grinning widely, hair greasy and a mess, and he was holding Cassie who was bundled up in a mint green blanket against his chest. He was only 19 at the time, almost 20, and practically still fresh out of high school. Robin remembered when Steve had come to her and told her the news that he was going to be a dad. He was freaking out, and Robin could admit she didn’t help him calm down in the slightest.

They both had just rambled, Robin shocked by him going to become a parent so young, and what he was going to do and then ranting off ways everything could go wrong and almost making Steve go into cardiac arrest at 19. It was Nancy who promptly calmed Steve down (and thus Robin too).

“Alright, I’m back- what are you doing?” Steve’s voice came from behind Robin, and she turned away from the picture and started to laugh.

“I was looking at that photo of you and Cass, remember when you told me you were going to be a dad and I kind of sort of freaked out like I was the one about to be a dad or something-”

Steve scoffed loudly, “ Yeah , you freaked me the hell out, Robin. I was ready to speed off to New York under a new name with all that shit you were saying! Thank god Nance showed up and talked me down.”

Robin was laughing again, finding it funny now when it wasn’t funny at the time, and Steve started to laugh too as he fell back onto the couch and yawned loudly. Robin frowned, and joined him back on the couch.

“Oh damn, you’re not tired already, right? We have so much more to talk about, ” she said, knowing that she desperately needed to know more about this mysterious woman Cassie claims he likes so much, who got him to bake and joined him on Thanksgiving.

“I’m a daddy, I’m always tired,” Steve told Robin truthfully, to which she gave him a look for calling himself daddy again. He laughed and added, “I don’t really have much else to say-”

“Oh that’s alright, I have something you can tell me about,” Robin said, cutting him off, “So during our little outing, Tiny Harrington told me something pretty interesting about this very pretty school office worker you seem to really like, care to share anything with the class?”

Steve snapped his head toward her and he cleared his throat and turned his head back forward and said your name like it was a question. Robin nodded, “Yup, that’s it and you both keep mentioning her…so who is she? Tell me more about her.”

Robin was now leaning in, needing to know more about this especially from Steve, the guy who hadn’t really been with anyone since Cassie’s mom, well there was one other woman, but she could hardly recall her face or even her name because of how quickly that flame went out.

Steve pushed his hair out of his face and replied, “She’s just a friend.”

Now it was Robin’s turn to scoff loudly and she said, “Oh really…do you normally invite friends to have Thanksgiving with your family and the Hendersons? Or to go apple-picking with you?”

Steve nodded, “Yeah, yeah you can normally invite a friend to things like that.”

He was very clearly deflecting, and Robin wasn’t buying it, not even when he added, “She’s super nice, really cool…moved here in the summer actually and you know, she doesn’t really have anybody or any family really nearby so I just…you know invited her to join me and Cassie…”

Robin sighed, slightly disappointed by this and she started to say, “Steve…Steve, Steve, Steve, I know you…you don’t just let people in your life, in Cassie’s life, especially since her mom just up and left. I mean, there was what’s-her-face who you didn’t let her into your life at all which was why the relationship went up in flames in the first place… and now all of a sudden Cassie is telling me about this woman you very clearly like going places with you both and gifting her things…what aren’t you telling me?”

He tensed up at Robin’s words, seeming to have forgotten that Robin was there for the majority of his life, even though she had promptly brought it up just minutes ago with that memory of him telling her the news. Robin did know Steve, probably more than anybody else in his life. She was there when Cassie’s mom was there, and there when she wasn’t , the aftermath of it all…Steve hated to think about that. He hated it, so he didn’t think about it.

He turned to Robin, who looked more serious now, wanting to know more about you, and wanting Steve to tell her. So he decided he should.

“We really are just friends,” Steve started with, wanting to make that clear, “I mean…she’s something else , you know? Like…the more I get to know her, the more…amazing I realize she is.”

He laughed nervously, pink dusting over his cheeks as his thoughts became consumed with you and the feelings you brought out of him.

“And Cassie absolutely loves her, I mean, she literally asked for skates because of her, and she seems to really like hanging out with me and Cassie too,” he continued, thinking of the smile you always put on his and Cassie’s face whenever you’re together, and he finished saying in a breathless voice like the mere thought of you took his breath away, “ Yeah … I really like her. ”

His heart was fluttering in his chest from having finally admitted that outloud to somebody. It became more real then, the feelings that would gather in his entire being whenever you were around, whenever you were even mentioned.

“Knew it,” Robin said, satisfied to get a confession from Steve, “So why are you still just friends then? Is she not interested or something?”

Steve pressed his lips tightly together and shrugged, “I wouldn’t know, I never asked and…well, I don’t think she’s not interested, I mean… there is something there, like something electric…being with someone finally sounds good, but then-”

Steve furrowed his brow, as he’s given many thoughts about this whenever it would come up, which was often especially following Thanksgiving when he was tempted to kiss you (and was positive you were going to kiss him too). It was all the same things that stirred inside of him, things that were almost unresolved from the impact Cassie’s mom left on him…he shut his eyes for a moment, the conflict swirling around in him and almost making his stomach hurt along with his head.

Robin was sitting cross-legged, hanging off of Steve’s last word, wanting to know what he was going to say next.

He sucked in a tight breath then released it before saying, “I just…I don’t have time , you know? If there’s anything I learned from being with Brenda ,” Steve said, reminding Robin of the other woman’s name. Robin snapped her fingers and said quietly ‘ oh yeah Brenda .’

“From being with her, time is just not on my side with my jobs, especially now since I got a third one- I just can never be there for somebody else, I can’t commit to them in the way they want me to,” Steve tried to explain, “And…and I can’t do that to her, I can’t break her heart like that so…yeah she’s my friend, and it’s going to stay that way.”

Robin frowned at Steve, slightly disappointed that it was still this that was holding him back, keeping him from pursuing any romantic relationship even when he seemed to want one. Hell, even watching him say that he and you were just going to stay friends he looked downright depressed and disappointed.

She could only sigh, feeling kind of sad for Steve, and his luck with romance after Cassie’s mom, but she always thought that maybe he just hadn’t found the right person, and she still stands by that to this day. Somebody will come around, and for all she knows this right person for Steve could be you …and she feels like she’d know for sure if she met you and got to know you too.

“By the way you’re talking about this girl…I’d really like to meet her,” she said, making Steve look at her again and with squinted eyes he replied, “Absolutely not.”

Robin threw her hand over her chest, heavily offended by his immediate response and she said, “Why not! If she’s so amazing, I’d like to see it for myself. I’m not going to do anything that’ll embarrass you, scout’s honor.”

“ Nope . No way.”

Robin rolled her eyes, wondering what on Earth she could do that’ll embarrass him more than he tends to embarrass himself, but something told her it was that if you met Robin , his best friend, then that would just let you into his life more…and honestly, maybe he needed that more than he believed he didn’t…

✧ ✧ ✧

It was cold.

You were wearing more layers today than any other day since the snowy weather arrived. Your entire head was hidden underneath a gray beanie, and the bottom of your face covered by a baby blue knitted scarf you bought off of one of the student’s moms who sold them.

Even in the confines of the coffee shop, you felt incredibly cold, and were concerned about a cough coming along, your throat a little drier than usual. It was just what you needed, considering the Holidays were just around the corner and you were going to spend it with Heidi’s family. You weren’t sure then, if you were getting sick, that you could go, which was quite disappointing.

Your name was suddenly called, and you could already taste your favorite hot coffee, and were ready for it to warm your insides. Right after your name was called though, another name was called. You didn’t pay much attention, determined to get your coffee, that you hadn’t realized they had set the identical cups right next to each other. You just grabbed one, and turned away.

“Oh, wait!” someone called before you could take a sip, and you turned your head to meet the blue eyes of a girl with short blonde hair and freckles decorating her cheeks, “That one is mine! My name’s on it…”

You blinked and looked down, twisting the cup in your hand to see the name Robin scribbled on the side of it and not your name. You quickly apologized, feeling a little silly for not checking first and held it out for her to take.

“It’s alright, the cups look the exact same,” the girl, Robin, replied to you as she held your coffee out for you to take. She seemed like she was going to say something further, but stopped when her eyes glossed over your name written on the cup as you took it from her, “Oh… Oh …”

She looked at you, blue eyes observing you closely and then your name before you properly switched.

You turned away without another word, ready to return to finally take a sip and return to your car when the girl called your name this time. You stopped, thinking maybe you left something but only saw her standing there with her own drink and sheepish smile on her lips.

“Sorry, I know I probably look like a complete weirdo , and even more so when I say this but…I think I know you, and that you probably know me too? At least by name?” she was saying, and you could only stare at her, trying to see if you could remember exactly who she was and if you’d seen her around here before or heard her name.

You shook your head when nothing came up and replied, “I’m sorry, I don’t…I can’t really remember.” You laughed awkwardly and she did too.

“I just thought maybe Steve would’ve mentioned me,” she said, his namedrop making you tilt your head curiously, “I mean he’s mentioned you quite a bit since I came back to town…just wondering if he’s ever mentioned his friend Robin to you.”

She blinked rapidly at you, then smiled more widely at you. It took you a moment or two before your memory returned. Steve had mentioned her before, you remembered a specific time when you were looking for another movie to watch and he brought to the double VHS section and said something along the lines of “Yeah my best friend Robin made me sit through so many movies, I don’t normally do double VHS, but this one was really good.” And there were others too you would gradually remember.

“Oh yeah! He has! Uh, hi, this is so weird, not that you’re weird, I swear, just-” you laughed nervously, “It’s nice to meet you.”

“Likewise,” Robin replied, stepping out of the way of other coffee patrons, “So, I hear you and Steve are pretty good friends too.”

You nodded quite fast at that, then got a little embarrassed that you did so, especially when she raised both eyebrows at you.

“Yeah I’d say we are,” you said, “Not as good as you two are I bet, I think he mentioned one time you’ve been friends since he graduated High School.”

“Yeah, we worked at Scoops Ahoy together,” Robin said, and you stared blankly at her, not knowing what a Scoops Ahoy was. And you swore you’ve been to every place in Hawkins thus far, but not wanting to sound stupid by asking you just stayed quiet as Robin continued to say, “Anyway though, I’m sure you got places to be, I got places to be because you know, my mom is just dying to see me.”

You couldn’t tell if that was sarcasm or not, but she bid you a good-bye before pausing and turning back to you to say, “Hey, wait, around like I don’t know 6, me, Steve and Cassie are going to that pizza place downtown…you should come.”

“Oh,” you paused suddenly, then said, “I don’t want to intrude on a reunion.”

Robin laughed at that, “You’re not going to intrude anything, you’re Steve’s friend, I’m his friend, it’ll be just a bunch of friends meeting for some pizza for dinner. I’m sure he’ll love to see you seeing as he talked about you so much.”

You felt your cheeks heat up at that, then became too preoccupied with the heart in your chest leaping to see Steve again, something that’s become entirely common these days. You subconsciously counted down the days until you would see him again, though you’d never admit anything out loud. Also, she’s mentioned twice that he keeps talking about you…

Robin was staring at you expectantly, and you met her eyes before nodding and saying, “Yeah, okay that sounds like it could be fun.”

“Yes! Alright, cool,” Robin said, a little too excitedly as she gave you a thumbs up with the hand that wasn’t holding her coffee, “Now, I’m going to go see my mom, and I’ll see you later, you know the one right?”

You nodded, as there was only one pizza place in Hawkins, and waved a good-bye to Robin as she left the coffee shop before you. You dropped your hand to the side, then remembered that you were cold and that was the reason you bought a coffee. You lifted it to your lips, and drank the hot liquid, but it didn’t do much, as the thought of Steve had already made you warm enough.

✧ ✧ ✧

It was half after six, and Steve, Cassie, and Robin were barely being seated. Robin hadn’t anticipated the place to be so full, even though Steve told her it would be. It wasn’t a long wait, and Steve wasn’t impatient and neither was Robin, Cassie could be impatient, but as long as she had her walkman while they sat in the waiting area she was fine.

Steve had noticed that Robin kept looking at the door every time it opened, eyes looking over every member of the family that was entering the pizza parlor. He had asked her if she was waiting for someone or something, thinking maybe she ran into the kids (they’re not kids anymore, Steve kept having to remind himself) who were home for winter break without telling him. Not that he would mind, but who the hell was going to pay for them to eat?

Eventually, Robin’s name was called by the hostess and they were led through the full pizza parlor and sat at a comfortable round booth that was actually elevated and underneath a dimly lit light. Cassie hopped in first, crawling on all fours until she was sitting right in the center of the table with a grin on her face and head banging as she was still listening to music.

“This is a pretty big booth for just three people,” Steve said, eying Robin as he tried to see if she’d take the bait and just tell him who she invited to join them.

“Oh yeah, totally too big for three people,” Robin said, agreeing with him as she shot him a grin and sat down.

“Right…”

Steve sat down as well, thanking the hostess for the menus. He turned his attention to Cassie now, and tapped her nose to capture her attention. She looked at him and he gestured to his own ears. Cassie understood, and turned to turn off her walkman, then removed her headphones. They rested around her neck, a look Cassie Harrington had all the time, especially these days.

“Welcome back,” Steve teased her as he handed her a menu. Cassie took it from her dad, giving him a toothy grin as her head was still nodding to nonexistent music. Steve chuckled and passed a menu to Robin, and then looked down, seeing he was holding two more.

Robin definitely invited somebody else.

At that moment, Steve looked up at the door, as Robin and Cassie became engrossed in their menus and were verbally deciding what toppings they wanted on each pizza they were about to order.

He was looking for perhaps a kid, like Dustin, or Lucas as Robin mentioned running into him specifically, hell he even looked for Eddie Munson (Steve had seen him show up in the Family Video Store after he seemed to have vanished for weeks), but his eyes landed on you .

You weren’t looking at him, your attention on the hostess as you spoke to her. The hostess had looked down at her clipboard, then nodded, telling you something with a smile before she turned around and started to walk in the direction of the table they sat at. Just as you lifted your eyes, Steve turned to look at Robin, all of it adding up at once.

“You didn’t- how- how did you even meet her? ” Steve was questioning her. Robin looked up from her menu, confused at first and then she grinned sheepishly. Before she could even answer, you were at the table.

Cassie had gasped at the sight of you, and called your name excitedly while Robin grinned and looked at you.

“You made it! I was afraid you wouldn’t!” Robin said, “Steve scoot over, jeesh, you too Tiny.”

“No! Wait! I want to sit next to her!” Cassie announced, of which Robin seemed very intrigued by and Cassie said, “Daddy, you sit on the side!”

Steve stared at Cassie for such a demand, but who was he to deny his daughter’s requests? He looked at you, finally, and you were looking at Cassie with a sweet smile on your lips before you turned to look at Steve. He sucked in a soft breath before nodding and scooting off of the seat.

“Wait, do you want…” Steve gestured to your outerwear when he stood and you blinked before realizing what he meant.

“Yeah! God I hate wearing all these layers,” you said with a shake of your head as you unzipped your large jacket. You were shaking out of it and Steve was suddenly behind you, reaching out to take your jacket off for you like the gentleman he is. You thanked him softly as he did, and he flashed you a sweet grin before you were moving to sit in the booth.

“I didn’t know Robin invited you!” Cassie said when you settled in next to her.

“She invited me this morning,” you told her, looking over at her then at Steve as he settled down right next to you. Steve slid a menu to you as well and you took it, another soft thank you being thrown his way.

“Yeah, I ran into her at the coffee place, insane right? I mean I heard her name, because obviously Steve told me all about you,” Robin said, gesturing to Steve who snapped his head to look at her, “Cassie too , don’t look at me like that. Anyway, she took my coffee by accident and then we talked and now she’s here.”

Steve shook his head.

“Yeah, that’s what happened,” you said, your cheeks a little warm as you were still a bit afraid that you were unwelcomed despite Steve literally getting up and helping you get your jacket off, “It’s not a problem for anyone here, right?”

Steve turned to look at you, and quickly shook his head, “Oh no , never. You know I like seeing you.” He suddenly realized what he’d just said and cleared his throat before turning away to cough into his hand in an attempt to take the attention off that .

You just sat there, pressing your lips softly together at his words, before you looked back at Robin and said, “Sorry for being late though, my car has been acting up especially with this weather.”

You frowned at the thought of your car barely starting this morning, and then when you were on your way here. It started eventually, yes , but felt pretty much dead before that. Robin told you it was fine, as they were barely sat anyway.

“Wait what’s going on with your car?” Steve questioned, becoming concerned at this information. You shrugged.

“It’s…wonky, I don’t know,” you said lamely, “It takes a few tries to start, then when it’s on it feels like it’s on the edge of breaking down.”

Steve was shaking his head at the idea of that, and said, “You know I can take a look at it after dinner if you want me to. I’ve gotten pretty good with cars these past few years.”

Robin hummed, “Yeah, it’s really weird…like the moment he became a dad he gained all the traits of one like barbecuing and…falling asleep early on the couch or something.”

That comment made you genuinely laugh, and Steve got a bit lost in your laugh even though it wasn’t him who made you laugh, but he quickly shook out of it and laughed sarcastically at Robin before returning his attention to you.

“I’m serious though, I can look at it…also I fell asleep on the couch one time,” he said the last part to Robin who reminded him that it happened in the middle of their conversation the night prior before looking back down at the menu. You laughed again, then rested your hand on his shoulder, and replied, “I’d really appreciate that, Steve. Thanks.”

You both just gazed at each other for a long moment, before Cassie was tapping your arm, taking your attention off of him. Steve smiled to himself, then turned to look at his menu.

“Guess what Robin got me for Christmas,” Cassie started with eagerly. You hummed in thought.

“Beats me, Cass,” you said after a moment, and she smiled widely before announcing the skates. You dropped your jaw, “No way! You want to learn to skate then?”

Cassie nodded, “Yes! Can you teach me?”

You were more than obliged to teach her, which made Cassie even more happy.

Steve looked up from his menu, staring at you while Cassie eagerly told you all about her skates, and he licked his lips gently, and Robin stifled a laugh. He looked at her now, giving her a pointed look, pretending that he was irritated with her when he wasn’t. If he was being honest, he liked this, he liked you being here sitting between him and Cassie, with his best friend sitting across from him. It was nice…comfortable even.

It’s like you just fit .

And the heat spreading over him at this thought made his chest sting, happy because he liked you so much , but indifferent because he did . It made no sense, no sense at all, but this was no time to dwell on it, especially with you right next to him, your legs slightly touching and your pretty perfume invading his senses.

Thankfully, the waiter arrived, taking an order of drinks, and your pizza. You all decided on two large pizzas, and when you ordered some strawberry lemonade, Cassie did the same, something that did not go unnoticed by Steve. She never drank lemonade, in fact every time they came here she got apple juice, and what he saw was Cassie bright eyes gazing at you. It made that feeling in Steve even more vibrant, that Cassie seemed to look up to you so much that she got skates because of you, listened to disco, and now ordered the same drink.

It really hit Steve, at this moment, how much Cassie really liked you. She of course liked everyone else too, as she took a specific liking to Robin who was there in her infant and toddler days, and then took a liking to Dustin and especially Max. She had never actually tried to mimic them though, Max never inspired her to want to learn how to ride a skateboard and the interest in Dungeons and Dragons was all part of Dustin’s elaborate plan to get her to keep a high school club alive.

You weren’t doing any of that, just simply existing and being such a good friend , that damned word again, that became a constant in his and Cassie’s life and she seemed to want to be just like you.

Steve was a bit baffled at this, shocked into silence really as you and Robin were talking now.

“Oh yeah, we went to high school together, right Steve? But we didn’t become friends until that one summer we were forced to work together at Scoops Ahoy,” Robin was saying, finally capturing Steve’s attention, “It was a summer for sure, your dad wasn’t the catch he is today.”

Robin was talking to Cassie now, who looked over at her dad and asked, “Catch?”

“Oh, no girls liked him,” Robin said nonchalantly, which made Cassie frown.

“But he gets free ice cream?”

“Right? Seems foolproof huh?”

“Wait- are you seriously bringing that up? Come on Robin, you know it was a tough summer for me,” Steve said, grabbing his drink and sipping out of the straw.

“Because now it’s a funny memory,” Robin replied with a shrug, and turned back to look at you, “Have you seen him yet? At Scoops Ahoy?”

You cringed slightly, knowing it was time to fuss up that you had no idea what a ‘Scoops Ahoy’ was, and told her so. The table went quiet, as if Scoops Ahoy was a home name of Hawkins or something when really it was just between the three people at the table with you.

“You’ve never been there?” Steve was asking you, making you look at him and shake your head, “So you’ve never visited Starcourt then?”

You shook your head again, “I’ve been wanting to, but…I don’t know if my car will make it that far…”

Steve just stared at you, then nodded as if he was impressed that you’ve never visited the highly popular mall and Cassie was the one to tell you that it was an ice cream shop. She told you about all the free ice cream she gets sometimes.

“ Free ice cream? That sounds like a dream,” you told Cassie and she giggled and said that it wasn’t. Her dad could get free ice cream whenever he wanted essentially.

“Well I mean, I can get you free ice cream too if you want,” Steve said, turning to you, and Robin almost rolled her eyes because it was painfully obvious that Steve really liked you, and it was such a burden to know he did, but wasn’t going to actually do anything about it.

“Oh really?” you questioned, resting your chin on your hand as you met his brown eyes.

“ Yeah , I think I’m pretty much a professional like I’ve mastered the USS Butterscotch ,” Steve said, making you furrow your brows in confusion at such a name, but assuming rightfully it was just some kind of sunday they served.

Robin asked how you and Steve met, and he relayed to her how you were dying from allergies and did a late run to the market to get medication, and he just so happened to working that night, then you said you ran into him again at the video store, a job, Robin relayed to you that he’s been at that job for a while. It was Cassie who talked about the carrot situation in more detail, which made Robin laugh because it is something Cassie Harrington would do.

She watched as you, Steve, and Cassie spoke, laughing together, and she had noticed herself how much Cassie had taken a liking to you as well. It was Steve mostly, though, she couldn’t recall the last time he was so interested in a woman like this. That other girl he was almost with didn’t even compare to how he was with you, and maybe…he was like that once with Cassie’s mom, very early in her pregnancy.

He had been at her side almost twenty-four seven. Robin had liked her, as there wasn’t necessarily anything wrong with her, just that it was painfully obvious that she didn’t feel the same way toward Steve. Steve had known that, since he had told Robin this when she brought it up one night during a late shift at the Family Video Store.

He was aware, yes, but they were going to have a baby together, he couldn’t help how he felt, how he always felt about her really as they were friends. But honestly, he had told her, he just wanted their child to have both parents, it didn’t matter to him whether he and she were together, as long as Cassie had her mom and had her dad who at the very least liked each other. Of course, they all know how that story came to an end…

It was something that clearly continued to plague her best friend’s mind, if their conversation from the night before meant anything. Steve liked you, he admitted that to Robin, which is a major step for the guy, and seeing you, seeing how you fell into place with him, with Cassie, something felt different, yet all the same. He wasn’t putting on some kind of show, because Robin knew if she invited the other girl he was with for a bit, he would’ve been actually irritated with her, he would’ve sat through it and been polite, but he wouldn’t have been happy. He seemed like…himself again…comfortable, and she liked seeing Steve like this again. She really did.

And now, she felt like she owed it to him to knock some sense into him, like how he helped her out with Vickie all those years ago, who still remained her beloved and favorite person ever to this day. He would be crazy to at least not try , because he liked you, and sitting here, she can tell that you liked him too.

The pizza had come, and the conversation turned to Steve and Robin now, and you sat there listening with amusement written on your features of the summer they became friends, about working at Scoops Ahoy, then at the Family Video Store, how he threw her a graduation party at his house that almost failed because someone forgot to bring cups (It was that guy Eddie again) until a girl by the name of Nancy Wheeler got fed up and left to get some. Steve even made her a cake apparently, or at least attempted to. It was something, Robin had said about that cake, surely something.

“You said you’ve never baked before,” you said to Steve upon hearing this information and he turned to you with a sheepish grin on his lips.

“It’s one of the major reasons I don’t bake anymore,” Steve replied, making you laugh and say, “You bake now though.”

“Thanks to you, I actually like it now, honestly…you know I still get compliments on those cookies��” Steve said, leaning back and subconsciously stretching and resting his arms on the rest right behind you.

Your heart sped up at this gesture, and you shifted in your spot. Steve stayed staring at you, a small grin on his lips that hadn’t left since all of you started talking. You settled back into place, with his arm technically wrapped around you and turned away, cheeks hot and your heart feeling like it was blooming.

The check had come around, and Steve had reached into his pocket, and cursed softly.

“Damn…I think I left my wallet in the car,” he said with a cringe before he started to stand, “I’ll be right back.”

“Wait!” Cassie called in between you and Robin, and Steve paused to look at his daughter, “Can I go?”

“Come on then,” Steve said, fully standing. You were about to move, but Cassie was diving underneath the table and crawling out from the other side. Steve just stared at her before he laughed and told her to put her jacket on. She did, and then he held his hand out for her to take. When their hands clasped together, they were walking toward the exit of the pizza parlor, leaving you and Robin.

You had felt slightly bad, as you didn’t get to learn much about Robin herself. So, given it was just the two of you, you asked her about herself and Robin let out a breath.

“I hate this question…” Robin said, fiddling with her rings as she laughed awkwardly. Before you could apologize, she shook her head and told you that she lived in New York with her girlfriend, Vickie, that she moved there with her when Cassie was around four years old, so around two years ago. She attends classes at a college there, and works at this department store.

“Oh, so it’s like the reverse,” you suddenly stated, “I lived in the big city, moved to this small town- you lived in this small town and moved to the big city.”

This made Robin laugh, “Hey, yeah, that’s true . It’s pretty insane, overstimulating, a lot of smog, too many people…I don’t hate it though.”

You nodded, your childhood and adolescent days coming back to you at once, and you replied, “Yeah, a lot of people, but…I think that’s part of its charm.”

“Oh for sure,” Robin replied, turning her head to see if Steve was coming back. He wasn’t and she commented, “I swear if he dined and dashed…”

“Oh…oh he wouldn’t do that…would he?”

“Nah,” Robin shook her head, “He always pays…guess that’s one of his charms, among many, I suppose.”

She was looking at you again, and you leaned back in your spot, eyes lingering on the door, waiting to see him come back.

“It’s still kind of weird to me,” Robin suddenly said thoughtfully, “I mean, if high school me heard me say that Steve Harrington was cool, and I was willingly having pizza dates with him and his daughter- she would be absolutely baffled .”

You turned to her, a curious look in your gaze and she went on to say, “I’m pretty sure every high school had the same hierarchy, so you probably know what I’m talking about. Steve had thee title…basketball captain, swim captain, other other captain, I don’t know I was in band but…he was literally called King Steve.”

“ King Steve? ”

You’d never heard anything like that, at your high school there was one guy, the football captain, who dated all the cheerleaders and all that. You could actually picture Steve that way, the hot, popular jock all the girls fawned over…considering the unofficial Steve Harrington fanclub here made up of Hawkin’s Moms.

“Oh my god, he’ll hate that I’m telling you this,” she said, chuckling to herself, “It doesn’t matter anymore though, because that was just you know- a facade. But yeah, I actually didn’t like him, like a lot- he knows this- but you know, underneath it all- he’s a good guy, probably always has been.”

You turned thoughtful, thinking of Steve in such a way. It had been mentioned before, when Heidi said she dated Steve once in high school and cried over him, or when Steve had told you during what you dared called a ‘lunch date’ in his car that one autumn afternoon that he got a lot of dates at 13. He didn’t seem to be getting them now, despite the attention he receives.

“I’m just glad you got to know him now ,” Robin said nonchalantly, “He still has those charms, obviously I know you know the ones…”

She eyed you and you couldn’t lie and say he didn’t. Steve was pretty irresistible, and that stupid charm of his that lingered in your mind for days on end after every interaction you’ve had with him since summer still made your stomach twist and heart flip.

“Yeah…” you said, albeit a bit breathlessly that made Robin laugh to herself.

Steve was opening the door to the parlor, snowflakes decorating his hair and his jacket. Cassie looked the same, and she shook her head like a dog and held her dad’s hand tighter, happy about the warmth the parlor was providing.

The first thing Steve saw when he walked in was you and Robin. You were in conversation, and he watched as you smiled and laughed, and nodded and responded to his best friend in that round booth. You were enjoying it, talking to Robin, and he sucked in a tight breath, head a little foggy, and he was kind of… happy that it seemed Robin liked you.

Cassie was saying something to him, pulling him out of trance, but he hadn’t heard what she said

“Hm?” he hummed curiously, looking down at his daughter now, seeing her gazing up at him with almost concern.

“What’s wrong?”

Steve paused, then laughed weakly as he tightened his grip affectionately on her hand and replied, “That’s the million dollar question, Cass…come on let’s go.”

He returned to the table, overhearing Robin say something about how she witnessed the aftermath of him accidentally renting out the wrong movie to a girl. Steve didn’t ask what she was talking about because he didn’t need to be reminded of that, and he was glad that you didn’t ask, just suppressing a laugh as he approached.

“Are we ready to go?”

You were all outside now, Cassie giving you a big hug good-bye before she was in between Robin and Steve, holding both of their hands, her hands were covered in these bright pink knitted mittens that were vibrant against their dark gloves.

“I’ll get your number from Steve,” Robin had told you, to which you eagerly nodded. Steve wanted to say some kind of joke, maybe why are you stealing my new friend already? But he really loved that you and her got along that well.

“Alright, let’s get you in the car, Tiny,” Robin said, saying a final good-bye to you before taking Cassie with her. Cassie waved at you as Robin led her to the car, and it was just you and Steve now.

“Well, I guess I’ll see you soon,” you said, standing albeit a little awkward beside him and Steve, well he looked even more awkward that even Robin cringed when she glanced over at him.

“Yeah, I’ll call you,” he said, and you nodded, flashing him a grin before turning away. Suddenly, as Steve saw your car, he called your name, “Wait, I said I’d look at your car!”

You stopped, looking at the car, then at him, then back at the car.

“Let me see if it’ll start first,” you told him, not wanting to stand out in this cold further or make him stand out in this cold too. Steve followed after you regardless, standing by the car door as you settled in and put the key into its ignition.

It started the first try, by some sort of miracle.

“Oh, oh it’s working now,” you said with the shake of your head, embarrassed that your car made it seem like you were lying just to get Steve to look at it or something.

“I could still look at it though,” Steve told you, leaning over the open door to look inside before glancing over at the hood, as if itching to get it opened. It made you less embarrassed and you nodded, agreeing that eventually he should, or you should get it over to the mechanics.

With that, Steve said a sweet good-bye before lightly closing your car door for you. He even remained there, watching you go. He was also making sure the car didn’t suddenly break down once it hit the street. It didn’t, thankfully, and he finally went to his car where Robin and Cassie were waiting with the heater already on.

It was quiet, for the most part, Cassie had put her headphones on again, kicking her feet to the beat and gazing out the window with a sleepy look coming over her face. She was definitely going into a food coma.

Robin had suddenly turned in her spot in the passenger seat though to look at Steve. He could see her almost perfectly in peripherals. She was grinning at him almost slyly.

“What?” he asked, acting like he didn’t know why she was smiling like that.

“I like her,” Robin stated.

Warmth not from the heater washed over Steve when he heard that, and he swallowed thickly and played dumb, “You like who ?”

Robin gave him a look, and replied, “I’m serious…you’re right when you say she is pretty amazing and I’m going to say this because I’m your best friend and I can…”

Steve came to a stop light, and turned his head to look at Robin.

“You would be a complete idiot if you don’t at least try and take a chance with her.”

There had been a small, amused smile on Steve’s lips, a happy one at that as well, when he heard that Robin liked you so much, but hearing this, Robin’s bluntness Steve’s smile turned into a frown and something cold came over him, like the cold breeze of the upcoming blizzard outside.

He turned his head forward, just as the light turned green, and he started to drive through the intersection.

Steve knows this, it’s been gnawing at him, sitting there next to you, seeing how well you fit in, how almost perfect you were to him, how perfect you’ve always been whenever he was around you. He hadn’t felt like this strongly for someone, the way the thought of you made your head buzz and insides turn delightfully, which would of course be followed by this sick, hollow feeling that he couldn’t quite describe, much like how he felt when he realized Cassie was trying to be like you in that pizza parlor.

God, you preoccupy his mind so much, and there’s a voice in him that says ask her out, you idiot , and then another voice says just kiss her, for the love of god just kiss her . He’s felt that one on occasion, when that electricity sparked between the both of you, when your eyelashes fluttered gently at him, your lips waiting for his…

Then, there’s that other voice, the one that came out the night before when talking to Robin. You don’t have time…you know what happened the last time you tried…it’s not worth it…it’s not worth breaking her heart over .

Most of the time, that voice was louder.

Robin looked at her friend who was deep in thought, and reached over to pat his shoulder, “I’ll demote you back to dingus, I will.”

That at least made Steve laugh, and he replied a little weakly, “Honestly…that’s only fair.”

✧ ✧ ✧

“Steve, I’ve only known her for like two days, if you count the day you finally told me about her.”

Robin’s voice was coming through the phone.

It was about a week after Christmas, and you had dropped by the market one night just before Steve’s shift ended to give him some gifts. You had finally made more mixtapes for Cassie, the bag full of them, and for Steve, you went simple and got him a Christmas card with an ice skating penguin wearing a red beanie on it with a gift card inside. It was quite a bit of money, and you insisted that he needn’t to get you anything in return. You didn’t really have anyone to buy gifts for, besides for Heidi and her family and a secret santa at the school, and wanted to do something nice.

Steve was touched, really touched, so much that the voice that kept telling him to kiss you had to be fought off with a mental broomstick. And now, he was kind of freaking out about it and had called Robin almost immediately during his break at the Family Video Store the next day.

“It was just nice, alright, and I don’t want to get her something bad…god why am I freaking out about it though?”

“Because you like her, dingus,” Robin teased from all the way in New York, she was on her break at her job too, “Get her like…I don’t know a mug or something, teacher’s love those. I actually love those.”

“No…no she’s not a teacher, at least not yet,” Steve replied, pressing his hand against his face, feeling a bit ridiculous about how much he was overthinking this.

“Get her one, speak it into the universe for her,” Robin suggested, then said like she read his thoughts, “You’re overthinking this Steve, and that’s a lot coming from me. I can’t just tell you what to buy, you know her way more than me.”

He sighed into his hand, “What the hell am I doing…”

“You’re a big guy, Steve, you’ll figure it out… oh hey…what about a candle?”

She was very clearly looking at a candle someone walked by holding in the department store she worked at part-time.

Another reason why Steve was freaking out was because he was going to see you very soon, like tonight soon and the store’s would be closing earlier than usual so that he’d have to go straight to Starcourt after his shift ends.

He had invited you to the Wheeler’s annual New Years Eve party, yet another almost family thing he wanted you to attend because quite literally everyone in his life would be there, the kids (Not kids, anymore, Steve), Nancy Wheeler and Jonathan Byers, Joyce Byers and Jim Hopper… everyone .

Robin did offer some good, basic presents, a mug, a candle…but what else? He wanted to at least add his own touch to it.

With a good-bye to Robin, he was back at work, still inside his head of what to get you when Heidi, who he has known since high school, approached him at the counter.

“Just returning,” she told Steve, placing them down on the counter in front of him. Steve nodded, turning to the computer set up until his eyes rested on her name again. He remembered then that you had mentioned you were going to be spending Christmas with her and her family, which could only mean that she was your friend as well.

Steve stopped typing for a good second, turning his head to look at Heidi who was poking around the new concession stand they had set up (it was Steve’s idea). She seemed particularly interested in the kettlecorn, and Steve cleared his throat as he said, “So…Heidi…how was your holiday last week?”

She looked up at him, and replied, “It was great, how was your Christmas with Cassie?”

“Oh great, we spent it with the Hendersons, like always…” he trailed off, unsure of how to smoothly mention you and then try to see if she can help out in any way for getting you a gift, “Who’d you spend it with?”

Heidi answered her own family, and he said, “Nobody else?”

He wanted to kick himself for making it so obvious. He could literally see it in her eyes when it clicked he was trying to bring you up without actually saying it. Steve hadn’t talked to Heidi like this in a long time, not since high school and not since they dated for like a month or so, he talked to her at the office, yes, but he talked to everyone there. Mostly you these days, if he was being honest.

“Wait…” Heidi trailed off and then asked if he was talking about you. Steve chuckled, and nodded, deciding to just own it. It wasn’t weird, it wasn’t suspicious, he was just asking about his friend . At least that’s what he tried to convince himself to make the anxious, racing of heart stop.

“Yeah, yeah I mean her…you’re pretty good friends, huh?”

Heidi leaned on the counter, an intrigued look crossing her features and she said, “Yes, I think so, though…I don’t think we’re good friends like you and her are…”

Steve took the tapes Heidi returned, trying to nonchalantly work while talking to her.

“I doubt it,” Steve replied, because if he and you were such good friends why couldn’t he decide on what kind of gift to get you. Heidi chuckled.

“Right,” she said, not buying it clearly, “Is there something you want to ask me about her?”

“Well…” Steve started, then cleared his throat before continuing to say, “I want to get her something for Christmas, a little late I know, but she got me and Cass something and I just want to return the favor.”

Heidi rested her chin on her hand, “Do you not know what to get her?”

“I just need some ideas,” Steve replied quickly, making her laugh.

“Well, maybe we both are just as good as friends with her, I had trouble getting her something too,” Heidi replied honestly, and that did make Steve a little more relieved, “I got her perfume, and my kids made her a s’more set, she seemed to love it. You know…I think…anything simple, really. She’ll love anything, especially if it’s from you .”

Steve thought it was the same for him, as he displayed that penguin Christmas card on his nightstand like it was some love letter. Heidi looked a little excited by this information, like he just told her some secret. He’d forgotten this quality of her, and found it oddly comforting in a way that she still held this aspect of her.

He finished processing the return for her, and she asked him if that’s all he wanted to ask. He nodded to her, and grinned politely.

“Yeah, yeah that’s it, thanks Heidi,” he said, and she grinned back at him and turned to leave. He supposed a candle and a mug it was…still he hated how cheap it felt. You deserved more than that, but it would have to do.

He had about an hour more to brew up some more ideas anyway.

Meanwhile, Heidi had called you the moment she could. You were at home getting ready for the party tonight when the phone rang and you answered, this was as Steve was rushing to Starcourt after his shift ended, and Heidi relayed everything to you.

“You said there was nothing going on, you liar, he’s getting you a gift,” Heidi said, and you sucked in a sharp breath.

“Friends get each other gifts, you got me one, I got you one,” you said, trying to play it off even though it was quite obvious there was something more between you and Steve, something strong and unspoken, something ready to burst any moment now.

“Yeah, but I’m not him , he likes you, and you like him,” Heidi practically beamed, “I knew you weren’t immune to Steve Harrington’s charm. I mean, his daughter visits you all the time when she can…you got him to bake cookies…you spent Thanksgiving with him…he practically shoves the faculty just to stand by you at mandatory assemblies…he likes you.”

“He’s a good friend,” you replied, cheeks feeling a little hot.

And just like what Robin was saying about Steve to him when she first came to Hawkins, or what Dustin Henderson had said to his girlfriend Suzie, Heidi had said, “I don’t think you realize how insane all of that is for Steve freaking Harrington. Okay, he’s been practically off the market since Cassie’s mom just up and left town.”

You frowned, and reminded her how she told you her friend had dated him.

“Okay, but barely , she broke it off because he was never around, he never made time for her, he definitely didn’t invite her to go to a Holiday dinner, and she met Cassie like maybe once , twice at the most and that was by accident,” Heidi explained quickly, and you were going to say something, but she was speaking again, “And here you are, coming in from the city and making him trip over himself. I’m impressed, I really am.”

You tried to fight the feelings mustering up in your stomach, “It’s not…he’s my friend.”

“I find it interesting how he was saying the same thing,” your friend commented.

“Because we are just friends,” you tried to emphasize, but knowing already that no matter what you said, your friend wouldn’t believe you. At this point, you were trying to convince yourself it was all you and Steve were, all that you would ever be because then if it never happens, you couldn't be disappointed.

You’d just learn to live with the feelings and bursts of warmths that occur at just the simple thought of him, at the idea of seeing him, if anything, you were already doing it. Steve was a friend, a good friend, and you didn’t want that to change.

You didn’t tell Heidi any of this, feeling almost embarrassed by your outlook, plus, you didn’t want to admit to her that you did like him, a lot. She can continue speculating, and you can continue pretending she was wrong.

“I have to go,” you had told her finally after a couple more exchanges, “I have a party to go to tonight.”

“With Steve ?”

You scoffed and told her a good-bye and a “Happy New Year.”

She was giggling, and told you the same before you hung up. You hoped there would be alcohol at this party, and had you any left of your favorite wine you had brought to Heidi’s Christmas Party last week, you would’ve definitely started drinking now.

✧ ✧ ✧

Steve had always been convinced that the biggest New Years in Hawkins was the one Karen Wheeler threw every year. It was practically full, every room decorated with streamers, tinsel, party hats, appetizers on every available surface and an abundance of alcohol.

Now, it wasn’t a crazy party, like the ones he used to attend in High School and go to school the next day with a hangover, but it was pretty big and exciting. Overwhelming too, and he had warned you about it too.

You seemed comfortable among his friends, although he considered them more as family, even after Cassie had taken your hand when you first arrived and started introducing you to everyone as ‘Her daddy’s girlfriend.’

This horrified Steve, as when he told Karen and everyone that he was inviting you, he made sure to not make the same mistake of Thanksgiving where he didn’t tell Dustin or Claudia that you and him were just friends.

You were amazing though, just laughing when Cassie announced you as his girlfriend to everyone present and said, “Well I am a girl, and I am his friend.”

“Exactly!” Cassie replied, a toothy grin that made Steve become suspicious of his daughter’s intention with that comment, as she’s never said anything like that about you before. He couldn’t really dwell on it though, as Cassie was eventually dragged away by the kids (Not. Kids. Anymore. Steve), leaving the adults like him upstairs.

There were a lot of people here, Steve had warned you prior that there would be, but everytime his eyes would find you across the room, he’d find you smiling and talking to someone, though he noticed it was mostly Claudia, who was absolutely delighted to see you again.

“So…she’s really just your friend , Steve?”

Nancy Wheeler was suddenly beside Steve, a woman he hadn’t seen for longer than he’d seen Robin. Steve turned away from you, and looked at her.

“What?”

Nancy laughed, “Nevermind. How have you been? Robin told me you’re working at Scoops Ahoy again…”

Steve grimaced, but should’ve figured Robin would tell her this. He spent the next few minutes catching up with his old friend (And high school girlfriend), Steve telling her that he read one of the stories she reported on in the paper a while ago that gained immense popularity, and so on. She had done a lot, and really all he had to report was that he was working three different jobs, and made one new friend, which was you.

His drink was gone by the end of it, and he excused himself to go some more in the kitchen and decided before doing so he should go down to the basement to see what Cassie was up to as it was going to be close to midnight and she might fall asleep. He walked down the steps of the basement, already hearing loud cursing that irked him. The ambience of the basement was suddenly not very Steve Approved.

They were playing a Dungeons and Dragons campaign, Cassie included , sitting in between Max and Lucas as Mike Wheeler spoke dramatically, leaving everyone, including Cassie, on the edge of their seats. Well, except Max. She was giving Mike an unamused look.

“Shit, I knew we shouldn’t have done that,” Dustin cursed when Mike came to the conclusion of his overdramatics, and Steve scoffed loudly.

“Hey, hey, there’s a child present,” Steve told them, resting his hands on his waist. All of them looked over at Steve, and it was Max who said, “Well now there is, you just walked in..”

There were cackles from everyone and Steve shook his head, unamused with that comment even though he felt like he walked right into it.

“Yeah, yeah just watch your language. I don’t want my daughter cursing like a sailor,” Steve replied and they all sighed, a chorus of begrudging apologies and eyerolls being thrown his way.

“What are you doing down here, anyway? Wouldn’t you rather be with your girlfriend?” Mike asked, leaning back in his seat and giving Steve a look.

“Seeing if my kid’s alright, and she’s not -” Steve sucked in a breath, not wanting to waste it on telling everyone that again as the way they all looked at him told him they weren’t going to believe him otherwise.

“She’s the same girl from the video store, right?” Max suddenly asked, making Steve pause for a moment and she added before he could respond, “The girl’s whose number you couldn’t get.”

“What?” Steve asked.

“She was at the video store,” Max repeated, “Come on, you remember. Lucas, you were there too.”

Lucas looked confused and Max scoffed at him.

It had taken Steve a moment before he remembered what Max was talking about, how in the summer one of the first times you met was in the video store and Max had interacted with you for even a few seconds.

“Yes, it’s the same girl,” Steve told her, and Max snapped her fingers and gave a pointed look to Dustin, “I told you it was her.”

“How was I supposed to know that? I wasn’t even there , I was just relaying the information of Steve’s new girlfriend,” Dustin said, before Lucas was suddenly nodding.

“Oh, oh I remember her now,” he said, then looked at Steve, “Wait, if she’s his girlfriend then that means he did get her number.”

“I thought it was pretty much established that he didn’t,” Max replied to her boyfriend. Steve watched as the short back and forth ensued, Cassie looking in between the two everytime one talked, and his expression became bemused as Max ended with, “He didn’t get her number.”

She was right, he didn’t, but why he was offended by that he had no clue, because from what he remembers- he didn’t even ask for your number that day, in fact it wasn’t until a few weeks after he did (he was NOT going to tell them that though)…soon the conversation turned toward you though in the span of a few seconds.

“I like her, she seems nice,” El had said, and Will had agreed with his sister.

“She’s also cool, remember when I told you guys she’s interested in learning to play Dungeons and Dragons, so already better than Steve,” Dustin said, and all of them full-heartedly agreed. Steve knew it was just meant to tease him, so he didn’t take that to heart that much.

“Right, well, I was just checking on Cass, so watch your language and please don’t make my daughter think I’m lame with your comments,” Steve said, pointing at all of them, and it was almost majestic how all of them snorted one after the other for that comment. He scowled, and was about to turn before Cassie called out to him.

She was getting out of her seat, and then standing in front of him as she asked, “When are you going to give her our gift?”

Steve blinked for a moment before answering, “We can do it now, go get her and I’ll go grab it from the car.” He was already digging into his pockets for his keys, but Cassie was stopping him.

“I’m playing!” she declared, “You give her it.”

Steve furrowed his brows at his daughter and asked, “Wait, so you don’t want to watch her open the gift we got her?”

His daughter was shaking her head, but Steve felt like he saw something in her eyes, something mischievous and all in all suspicious .

“I think I’m getting sleepy too,” Cassie said, then yawned dramatically after. Steve squinted his eyes at her, wondering why she was acting so strangely.

“Just give her the gift yourself Steve, jeesh,” Mike called, anxious to get back to the campaign and spend as much time as possible on it before the clock struck 12. Steve gave him a look before looking back at Cassie who was giving him a very sleepy smile. Sighing, he nodded and said if she’s that tired then she should lay down before he kissed her head and turned to go back upstairs.

Cassie watched her dad go, before she turned and eagerly skipped back in her chair between Max and Lucas.

“What are you up to, Cassie?” Max asked suspiciously, and the little girl could only laugh.

Steve had left the house, grabbing the gift from the backseat and came back in to find you. You were in the living room, sitting on the couch beside Nancy and having a conversation when Steve was suddenly placing his hand on your shoulder to capture your attention.

You hummed as you looked up at him, cheeks a little warm from the alcohol you’ve consumed since you arrived at this party and smiling sweetly at the sight of his soft stare.

“Come with me,” Steve told you, and you nodded, turning to tell Nancy you’d be right back. Nancy held her drink up to her lips as she said, “It’s almost midnight, don’t be away long you guys.”

You chuckled as you stood up, taking your cup with you as you followed Steve into the kitchen. You stopped in front of the island at the center, and turned to ask Steve if everything was alright only to be met with a bright red bag being held in front of your face.

You blinked softly, your mind moving a little slow that it was indeed a gift for you. The gift that Heidi had told you he was getting you.

“Oh you didn’t have to…” you said, gazing at the bag. Steve shook his head.

“No, I wanted to…Cass threw something in there too for you, by the way, I think it was a huge candy cane and a pencil, sorry to spoil the surprise.”

You chuckled at that, taking the bag from Steve and twisting around so you could place it on the counter. Steve moved to the other side of the counter, leaning on it with both forearms as he watched with his brown eyes you start to take out the red tissue paper.

The candy cane showed up first, and it was pretty big, the middle of it wrapped with a big red bow with a tag that said from Cassie in all caps. You smiled warmly, setting it aside gently before digging more into the gift. You didn’t find a pencil, but you did find a bag of carrots tied with the same red ribbon as the candy cane.

You laughed loudly, before your other hand covered your mouth and you tried to contain that laugh especially when you looked up and saw Steve’s face. He was completely dumbfounded staring at the carrots.

“What the…when the hell did she put those in there?” He asked, bewildered by the reveal, “She said she put a pencil in there!” He pointed at them, before he turned his head toward the entryway to the basement, where he knew Cassie still was, knowing that if she was here she’d be laughing just like you were. Maybe that was why she was acting so weird…she threw carrots in there without telling him.

You held the bag of carrots to your chest and said, “ I love them. Don’t know what’s going to beat these to be honest, but we’ll see.” You shook the bag lightly, feeling that it was pretty heavy, and something clinked together in there.

Steve turned back to you, horrified by what you just did and you shook it again lightly to freak him out some more before setting the carrots down and digging deeper into the bag. Your hand wrapped around something, and you knew what it was before you even brought it out.

It was a bottle of wine.

“ Oh .”

You looked at it closely, already feeling your mouth water just a little and you said suspiciously, “How did you know I was out?” He laughed at that, leaning away to push his hair out of his face nervously before leaning back down.

“I remember you bought that like weeks ago,” Steve told you quickly, “Then you bought it again before Christmas…I assumed it would be gone.”

You grinned widely, and set it down. You really can’t believe he remembered that.

“There’s more in there, like two more things. Robin helped me figure out what else to get you.”

“Then I know it’ll be good ,” you teased, making his sweet smile turn into an amused one. You took out the next thing. It was a candle, a three-wick one to be precise and you gasped loudly, tearing off the tin lid and bringing it up to your nose.

You welcomed the sweet, vanilla scent of it, and sighed loudly. Steve was staring at you expectantly, eyes a little concerned as if he was afraid you weren’t going to like it.

“You like it? Because I like this candle too, a lot, I’ve gone through like three of them and I thought you’d like it too,” Steve told you, and you smelled it again.

“Are you kidding? It smells so good,” you replied, still holding the candle up to your face, “It’s so sweet, thank you.”

You inhaled it again, before setting that aside too. Steve continued to watch with anticipation as you finally pulled the last item out. It was wrapped in paper, so you meticulously removed it before you realized it was a mug that said ‘ World’s Best Teacher.’ A little cheesy, but incredibly sweet as he said, “I know you’re not a teacher yet, but hey…when you are , you have the mug to prove it.”

You just stared at the mug, your cheeks hurting from how much you’d been smiling and you lifted your eyes to meet him as you thanked him, “Thank you Steve…and Cassie too wherever she is.”

You set the mug down beside the other gifts, feeling slightly overwhelmed (and a little shameful as all you got Steve was a card and giftcard). You relayed this to him and he laughed softly at you.

“I literally displayed that card,” Steve said, before his cheeks turned red with embarrassment that he’d just said that, and he coughed into his hand before asking, “So you liked them?”

You nodded, “Yes, although…I think the carrots were my favorite,” you said jokingly. Steve scoffed at you, though the smug grin on his lips showed that he knew it was just a joke, especially as he watched you gaze almost lovingly at the three things he chose for you.

You loved the gifts, you loved the candle, the wine…the mug …you loved…

You paused your thoughts, as they were about to say you loved him . It was silly…ridiculous even…to say you loved him. You could lie to yourself and say the love you felt for him was platonic, but you knew it was a lie. You fell in love with Steve Harrington.

He was still looking at you, still leaning on his forearms on the island across from you, brown eyes soft and warm. Your heart just bloomed in your chest, and butterflies just erupted in your stomach, and then…you were leaning in without thinking.

Steve went still when he felt your lips against his, having not been expecting it, not at all. You were kissing him, literally kissing him. His mind short circuited and he couldn’t keep up with it, that when you pulled away he almost thought it didn’t happen if not for the tingle left on his lips by yours.

“I…”

Your voice was breathless, and your eyes horrified as you realized what you had just done. You stepped back, pressing your lips, that were surely tingling like Steve’s were, together and you said, “I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have…”

Steve’s mind caught up with him in an instant, and he stood up straight, not wanting you to go all of a sudden.

“Wait…” he told you, stepping out from behind the counter and moving toward you. His body was engulfed in warmth, mind with disbelief really at what just happened, and he stood in front of you, looking at you almost tenderly.

You stared back at him, still embarrassed, body a little rigid and tense and he opened his mouth to say something more, anything, and he seemed to be stuck on what he wanted to say, eyebrows furrowing and a frown overcoming his lips before he dropped his head slightly and said, “Don’t be sorry.”

Your own eyebrows furrowed at this, cheeks heating up somehow even more , not understanding what he meant. Suddenly, you felt his hand on your cheek, his touch electrifying, and then his hand was underneath your chin, making you tilt your head upward.

Your breath hitched, not being able to take your eyes off of him. His own brown gaze had flickered downward, resting on yours lips, the lips that were just on his and then…his eyes met yours and he was leaning in again.

You held your breath.

Then, just as you felt his lips just barely graze yours, the sound of somebody running up the stairs ripped you and Steve out of this moment. He was stepping away from you quickly, and you backed up too, your back hitting the wall just as the door was flung open and Max, Lucas, and Dustin were there wearing their New Years Party hats with a noisemaker in each of their mouths. Dustin had two in his mouth though, weirdly.

“It’s almost time for the ball to drop,” Dustin stated, voice muffled as he shifted to the side to let Mike, El, and Will walk by the both of them, stalking toward the living room. Cassie was behind them, wearing a party hat and holding another in her hand, which she held out to you.

“Let’s go!” she said eagerly. You couldn’t really deny her, just standing almost motionlessly as Cassie took your hand and began to pull you. You cast one last look at Steve, who was just standing there with an unreadable expression on his features.

It was Lucas who stood there silently, looking between both you and Steve, seeing whatever it was that Max and Dustin (and understandably Cassie) seemed to not be seeing at this moment, unless they were just ignoring it. He crossed his arms and hummed quietly to himself.

Cassie managed to pull you away then, smiling cheekily as she dragged you toward the living room where everyone would be gathered when they ring in the New Year. Steve watched Cassie take you away, expression turning almost sad .

“Hello? Earth to Steve?” Dustin said, then blew the noisemakers, making Steve jump and give him a look.

“I heard you, Henderson, jeesh,” Steve said, turning so he could place all your gifts back into the bag. They watched him do so, Lucas with a now knowing look in his eyes and Max with a raised brow. Steve walked to the living room without looking at any of them.

They watched him go and Lucas said, “They definitely just made out or something.”

“Well, why wouldn’t they? They’re dating,” Max replied, walking away first. Lucas huffed and followed after her while Dustin stared at the empty kitchen, knowing that Steve and you weren’t actually dating and just playing along with the joke.

He shook his head and said, “ Seriously ?” to himself.

✧ ✧ ✧

It was almost two weeks into the New Year, and with Cassie starting school up again, Steve dove himself into work. He did this because it was the only thing that kept him from thinking about New Years, from thinking about you .

And it was hard work because now that he knew how your lips felt against his, he couldn’t stop thinking about you, every crevice of his mind was overtaken by you. You consumed him completely, and if it took focusing on making ten USS butterscotches, rewinding tapes all night, or restocking a bunch of ravioli cans to get him back to a more stable state of mind, that’s what he was going to have to do.

In the meantime, you had been doing the same. One of the assistant teachers had been out for a while for the afterschool program at Hawkins Elementary, and you offered to fill in. It was easy enough to distract you, as you were doing what you loved and wanted to do for a living, but the moment you were left with your thoughts it was just of Steve and you felt confused, a bit ashamed, and incredibly heated, as when you closed your eyes you could still see the way he looked at you, and feel his large hand on your chin, so close to leaning in and kissing you again.

Your heart fluttered in your chest at the memory, and heat pooled in your stomach.

Then, the shame would settle in cruelly, because now it felt like you couldn’t be around the guy, too embarrassed, and fearful that he didn’t want to be around you. You felt sick at the thought of that.

Until the day Cassie came to see you.

The conversation had been brief, considering it was at the school library, and it ended with her asking you to join her and her dad ice skating.

“I…I’m not sure, Cass,” you said, voice soft as you were still in the library. She was holding a stack of paperback books, and was shaking her head.

“But you have to, it’s going to close, and you said you could teach me to skate,” Cassie declared, making you sigh at the little girl.

“ Roller skate,” you replied, and she shrugged then paused before she batted her eyelashes at you and said, “My daddy wants you there, he said we can go only if you go.”

You stared at Cassie, watching as she said ‘ pleaseeeee’ before sticking her bottom lip out to really sell the puppy dog look she was giving you. You weren’t sure if she was telling you the truth about that, as Steve would’ve called you, but you also didn’t want to say no to Cassie.

She had made that expression to you before, when she was practically begging you to help her and Steve bake, and you didn’t have Steve to scold her. You knew then that you were for sure going to join them ice skating, and your stomach twisted at the mere thought of seeing Steve.

What the hell were you going to say to him? You felt like puking, the anxiety was too much, but Cassie had got you to agree to it. Saturday, tomorrow , at Scoops Ahoy in Starcourt (As the skating rink was set up in their parking lot). She had skipped away with a smile on her lips, probably happy knowing she got her way.

✧ ✧ ✧

It wasn’t a busy day at Scoops Ahoy, as it usually goes in the Winter. There were quite a few people who enjoyed a nice scoop of ice cream or a sundae on even a day as cold as this one, which was probably the coldest day of the season. Still, even with those types of people it wasn’t busy, so Steve was able to easily hold down the fort on his own until his shift ended.

He mainly stayed in the back, doing extra work in counting the inventory of the freezer. He made sure, too, to stay close to the window, so he could hear if any customers approached the counter.

Eventually, the bell did ring, taking his focus away from the numbers on the clipboard he was currently looking over. He didn’t look up, wanting to finish what he was doing first, so instead he called, “Be with you in a moment!” His voice muffled as he had a pen between his lips.

He pulled the pen off of its cap, and it remained between his lips as he quickly jotted something down beside the vanilla ice cream portion. When he finished, he suddenly felt compelled to look up. When he did, he almost spit the cap out on the floor.

It was the person who had been plaguing his every thought when it wasn’t focused on a task, the person whose lips had touched his if even for a second. It was you , and he had to blink a few times, wondering if he’d become so overworked that he hallucinated you.

When you smiled sweetly at him, and waved a gloved hand at him, he knew for sure you were real.

He’d never seen you here before, never , and he suddenly felt, for the first time since high school, very self-conscious in his silly uniform. Thank god he decided to go without the sailor hat today. He very quickly started to move, setting the clipboard aside and taking the cap out of his mouth before he smiled back at you and scrambled to the door that led back to behind the counter.

“Hey!” Steve said, his voice a little higher than usual, especially when he saw you did a quick glance at the uniform, and he quickly asked, “What- what are you doing here?”

At his question you lifted your eyes at him and tilted your head as you replied, “I uh…Cassie told me to come. I don’t see her anywhere though?”

You turned away from Steve, as if not wanting to make eye contact with him as you gestured around the parlor, which made his heart tear, but not when he realized what you had just said. Cassie told you to come?

“Wait- she told you to come here? Right now?” he asked. You nodded, finally looking at him.

“Yeah, she said something about going ice skating with you both? And well, she conned me into agreeing,” you said, then laughed lamely at your own joke. Steve didn’t laugh, not because he didn’t find it funny, in fact he liked when you laughed at your own remarks, but because…Cassie wasn’t here , and they never discussed going ice skating. Well they did, but the answer was no .

“If you don’t want me to join because- well- I mean- you know - I can go, I really don’t mind,” you were starting to say, but Steve was suddenly resting his hands on his waist and shook his head.

“No! Well…I mean…I think she conned both of us,” he replied incredulously, “We’re not…she’s not even here - I won’t even see her until tomorrow because she’s at a sleepover.”

This had visibly taken you off guard, your eyebrows that were once furrowed were not raising before you opened your mouth and let out a breath.

“She is?” you asked, “When was that planned?”

“Earlier this week,” Steve replied, shaking his head in disbelief. What was Cassie thinking? Creating a fake plan and making you come all the way down here? He was genuinely confused by her strange behavior. Immediately, he started to apologize for her, “I’m so sorry, I don’t know why she would even do that. I mean, I know she wants to go ice skating really bad, but- I didn’t think she’d make something up in order to go ice skating, but, she’s not even here -”

“No, no it’s okay, maybe I misheard her,” you said, though you were sure you didn’t, but decided to convince yourself that you did. You rather ended up laughing, finding a bit of amusement in the situation. Steve listened to your laugh, the awkward feeling he dreaded when he would see you again was replaced with a familiar warmth.

He laughed too, finally.

“I know you said it’s okay, but yeah I’m sorry,” he said after laughing, and you nodded.

“Well…since I’m here I can’t help but recall…” you trailed off, and Steve’s stomach twisted pleasantly, thinking you were going to bring up that New Years kiss, but you lifted your eyes away from him and looked at the menu before finishing with, “...that you said you’d make me a…what was it? A USS Butterscotch ?”

Steve tilted his head, then laughed breathlessly as he remembered he did technically say he’d treat you to some free ice cream that night. Your eyes averted back to his, and he reached to grab his scooper from his uniform and flipped it expertly as he said, “Coming right up…and maybe, if you want , just to get Cassie back…we could go ice skating and make sure to tell her all about it.”

The thought made you giggle, imagining his daughter’s face realizing her whatever little trick she had planned backfired and that they still went ice skating without her.

Soon you were sitting at a booth, Steve sitting across from you and pushing the well-made sundae toward you, then he slid over a spoon as well.

“I think this is the best one I’ve made,” he admitted to you, though his leg was still bouncing underneath the table, nervous for some reason that you’d hate it. He felt ridiculous because it was ice cream and he’s never met anyone who hated it, especially if it was free and as beautiful as the sundae he just made for you.

“I like the cones as sails,” you commented, leaning down to admire the piece of art he’d made in an Ice Cream parlor, “It’s cute .”

“ Cute , yeah it is,” he said, though he wasn’t looking at the sundae and you noticed it. You smiled, your heart pacing in your chest before you took the plastic spoon from him, grazing your fingers with his in the process. That was an accident, but a happy one as Steve sucked in a tight breath as he watched you scoop some onto your spoon, taking a cherry one one of the scoops with it.

It was good, really good, so much that you went for a second spoonful immediately and Steve grinned, “Enjoying it?”

“This is delicious, damn, I bet it tastes even better in the summer,” you said before taking another spoonful, “Also, I didn’t say , but I love the uniform.”

You meant it too, the sailor costume suited him somehow, and you thought the shorts looked pretty good on him too. You did feel bad, just a bit, that he had to wear shorts during the winter though.

His cheeks turned red, and it made you chuckle into your spoon, “Hard to believe no girls liked you when you first worked here, honestly, I think I would’ve been in here everyday to see King Steve serve ice cream.”

“Believe me, I would’ve had a much better time if you were in here all the time back then,” Steve replied, “You’d probably skate in on your disco roller skates or something, because more than likely you would’ve worked at the old skating rink.”

“ Old skating rink?” you asked, and he nodded and told you that there had been a skating rink where the mall’s arcade is now, but there was a fire a few years back and they never brought it back. You hummed with interest as you ate more of the ice cream.

“Yeah, they had these uniforms too, not as ridiculous as this ,” he said, patting himself on the chest, “But it was vibrant, and I think they had to wear glow sticks , and then they’d be playing disco music constantly, you would’ve loved it.”

“Was…” you suddenly paused, the question you were about to ask feeling like one that would overstep a boundary. Steve tilted his head curiously at you, and you shook your head as you averted your attention back to the ice cream.

“What?”

“Nothing,” you replied quickly, “Just a dumb question I don’t need the answer to.”

“Well, now I gotta know, come on…just ask,” Steve said, feeling his heart starting to blossom in his chest. He wondered if you were going to ask about New Years, even though it would seem quite random in the conversation.

You set the spoon into the sundae, and said, “I was just going to ask if…Cassie’s mom was one of those girls.”

Steve paused, not expecting that out of all questions. It’s never come up in conversation with the both of you, but it wasn’t all surprising after a second of contemplation. She had been looming over him lately. He shifted in his spot, and inhaled before he said, “Nah. She actually knew me before …we were actually friends …but…yeah it’s a long story. It uh…we actually worked at the video store together after me and Robin got fired from Scoops and well..yeah you know…I guess it does say something that we didn’t get together when I worked here.”

You were relieved he had replied. He leaned back in the booth, a troubled look coming over his features as if he didn’t know what else to say, and you cleared your throat as you ate another scoop then set the spoon down.

“Sorry for asking, it isn’t my place,” you said, cheeks turning warm and feeling stupid, but he quickly shook his head.

“No, no , it’s alright,” he said, “I mean Cassie had a mom, obviously, she’s just not here and I can’t be mad at you for being curious.”

You smiled tightly, and he reached up to smooth his hair back before he exhaled softly and said, sensing you weren’t convinced it was okay, “Seriously. It’s okay. I can even tell you more actually, if you want. She…she was my friend once, then we weren’t friends for a while because she skipped town, then one day she came back and we were friends again and uh…then well… a year later Cassie was born and she left again .”

He was purposely not telling you specifics, and you weren’t going to press him, still feeling like you were overstepping even though he assured you that you weren’t. You took the spoon again, messing with the ice cream and tearing your eyes away from him as you said, “I’m sorry.”

Steve shook his head again, then waved his hand for added effect, “You don’t have to be sorry about anything…you know…like on New Years.”

At the mention of it, you froze, having thought that him not mentioning it meant there was silent agreement to not bring it up and just forget it. You were doing so well not being so awkward. You looked up at him, seeing his cheeks were a little pink before he leaned both hands on the table between you and shot you a sweet grin, and he said, “We were both a little tipsy.”

For some reason, that made your heart drop and you realized you maybe thought he was going to declare his love for you or something. Not wanting to show it on your face, you were quick to take another scoop of ice cream and stick the spoonful in your mouth before you forced yourself to laugh.

Steve’s eyes flickered your expression without you noticing, a frown flashing over his lips before he too forced a laugh out. Then, both of you were saved by the bell. He turned his head, seeing a family standing by the counter and his eyes flashed to the clock. This would for sure be his last customer before clocking out, before you both go ice skating to spite his trickster of a daughter.

Meanwhile, as he excused himself, you made it your goal to finish the sundae as a distraction from the conflicted feelings that were stirring inside of you.

15 minutes had passed then, and before you knew it Steve was emerging from the backroom in a dark red sweatshirt and loose dark gray sweatpants while holding his winter coat in one arm. He certainly looked like someone who was expecting to go straight home after work, because after all it wasn’t planned and you told him that you didn’t have to ice skate if he’d rather go home.

“No way. I’m not gonna let Cass do this to us without consequences,” he said as he shrugged on his coat, then helped you put yours back on like it was second nature. You didn’t even notice as you put your arms through the sleeves and he pat your shoulders down.

“We could always just say we went ice skating,” you said, and Steve shook his head.

“No, we’re doing this for real,” he said, determined to go ice skating even if it was starting to snow outside again, because after all the ice skating rink was set up in the parking lot of Starcourt. Couples, families, groups of teens already with their rental skates on skating in a circle by the time you were out there with Steve, holding your respective rental skates.

After getting the skates on, you placed your beanie on your head, and then your gloves while Steve pulled random gloves from his coat pocket and placed them on his hands as well. You wondered if he was warm enough as you observed him, eyes flickering over the snowflakes that decorated the strands of his brunette hair.

You were a bit jealous of them, then felt ridiculous for being jealous of a damn snowflake. You scowled at your silly thoughts as you stood up, balancing on the skates with ease and Steve lifted his head at you then did the same. Although, he wasn’t as elegant as you. Immediately his arms spread out, and his legs twisted awkwardly.

“Oh shit ,” he said, desperately trying to balance on the blades and you could only stand there staring at him, amusement replacing your self-embarrassment.

“Are you good?” you asked, and after a moment he managed to keep still and without looking up from the ground he replied, “Totally. I’m totally good. Don’t worry about me.”

You furrowed your brows before you said, “Have you ice skated before Steve?”

“ Yeah ,” he said, trying to step toward you confidently but then cursing when his foot bent slightly. You caught his hands this time, laughing softly, “I’m just not, you know, good at it.”

“I find that hard to believe,” you said, letting his hands grip yours tightly as he found his balance again. You weren’t even on the ice yet. At your words, Steve lifted his head to meet your eyes, and your faces were in such close proximity that his cheeks grew warm.

“What do you mean?” he asked.

“Just Robin went on about how you were good at everything in high school,” you teased, starting to step backward toward the ice. Steve grasped your hands tighter, and replied with a nervous laugh, “Everyone has their weakness. I wasn’t a hockey player, I was a basketball, baseball, tennis, badminton…” he trailed off purposely with other sports that had nothing to do with ice skating, making you giggle.

“Are you sure you want to do this then? Like I said we could always just say we went ice skating,” you said as you were right at the ice. Steve nodded confidently.

“I mean, I already got the skates on, and then I have a skater to help me so…”

“Well, I am better at roller skating…but if we both fall and get hurt at least we’ll have evidence we went ice skating,” you said, half-joking as you yourself were a bit nervous. You were for sure more of a roller skater than an ice skater, but it seemed like Steve didn’t know the difference. A skater was good at all kinds of skating to him.

“God the last thing I need is to get injured,” he said, hands still clasped tightly around yours, “ Oh my god .”

You were on the ice now, gliding backwards and pulling Steve with you. His legs spread out, he nearly fell onto you as you laughed.

“Should we have brought Cassie’s elbow and knee pads for you?” You teased again, and he laughed sarcastically.

“Ha. Ha. Very funny,” he said then panicked when he almost slipped, and would’ve fallen had you not been holding onto him, “Yup, yup this was a bad idea,” he told you, eyes wide and cheeks even more red from embarrassment and the cold weather.

You shook your head and said, “We’re already here! Come on, let’s at least skate one lap.”

From afar there was a shout, then laughter and you both turned your heads to see someone had fallen and their friends were laughing at them. They flipped them off before moving to stand, and Steve grimaced, already imagining that to be him .

“Here,” you removed one hand from his, and his eyes grew even wider, believing for a second you were going to do what some parents do when teaching their kids how to swim, just throwing them into the water so their survival instincts kick in (except you were going to leave him, a grown man, on a sheet of ice wearing knives for shoes), but you kept a firm hold on one hand, “Just focus on staying balanced, and if you think you’re going to fall…well let me go so I don’t go down either .”

Steve glided away from you, but found a nice balance by just holding your hand. Truth be told, he was starting to get an idea, as it really wasn’t his first time ice skating. Just after the first time he vowed never to do it again, yet, here he was with the woman he couldn’t stop thinking about even before that tipsy (though you both knew you were anything but tipsy that night) willingly ice skating.

“ One lap ,” Steve told you, and you squeezed his hand.

“One lap,” you repeated, then grinned as you glided forward, Steve’s wobbling legs struggling to follow suit.

From an outsider's perspective, you and Steve appeared to be a couple on some sort of date, and since there were people there who recognized the pair to be you and Steve, such as Holly Wheeler with her friends, and a few faculty members of Hawkins Elementary, it seemed to them that it was a date. That you and Steve, as they all suspected, were together romantically.

Your laughs could be heard by them as you passed by, and whenever you were looking forward, Steve would be looking at you with adoration in brown eyes, blinking only to get the snowflakes off of his thick lashes because he didn’t want to have any other reason to take his eyes off of you.

He was clearly, so desperately, in love with you from the eyes of others, clear to everyone but the two people it should be clear to. As far as you both knew (or convinced yourselves really), you were just friends who decided to skate together in the beginning of the final snow storm of the season, as the wind picked up and the snowfall became more frequent.

You had skated more than one lap, your hands not leaving each other even once as you shared this moment together, and you would’ve gone for more had the rink decided not to close early. Both of you were disappointed, hating that the fun was over so soon, hating that you’d have to leave each other again, all so you both can go home and lay in your respective beds with warmth bursting in your stomachs at the thought of the other. You would both look at the phones, thinking if you should call the other, if the other would pick up right away because these feelings were killing them too.

It seemed though that the night wouldn’t end that way, as Steve had walked you to your car like the gentleman he was, and it didn’t start . You were practically shivering as you attempted to start it again, twisting the key in the ignition and getting nothing.

“Well damn ,” you said with a scowl, and a chatter of your teeth as Steve furrowed his eyebrows before he cursed himself.

“I said I’d look at your car and I never did,” he said, finding a way to blame himself for your predicament, but you were quick to brush it off.

“No it’s my fault, I had plenty of chances to get it looked at and I just…never did,” you laughed, feeling foolish, “It would break down in the middle of a snow storm though.”

Steve laughed too, though it was more of a pity laugh before he said he’d be more than happy to take you home, promising that there’d be working heat in his car. You didn’t have to be asked twice, letting him lead you toward his familiar car.

✧ ✧ ✧

The blizzard had gotten worse by the time Steve pulled up to your house, pulling the car into your empty driveway carefully with a hyperfocus driver’s in the snow should have. His lights were barely able to capture your garage door, stepping on the breaks as he did. Your seatbelt locked, and you bounced forward slightly as he quickly apologized.

“It’s so bad out there, god,” you commented, not blaming him for almost crashing into your garage. You also silently thought to yourself it was just as well that your car broke down and Steve had to take you home. You probably would’ve never made it here had you had to drive alone from Starcourt.

“ Yeah ,” Steve agreed, looking through the windshield as the wipers worked overtime to get the snow off, “I hope I can get home in this.” He shook his head with discontentment, and you blinked, an idea popping in your mind.

“You don’t have to…we can put your car in the garage, and you can stay until it dies down a little?” you suggested innocently. Steve looked at you now, looking quite touched by your invitation and you offered a small smile.

“Would it be okay to ask for something hot? Like coffee?” he asked you, and you chuckled.

“You read my mind.”

It’s how you found yourself in your kitchen with Steve Harrington for the second time, except this time neither of you were covered in various baking ingredients. You were in front of your french coffee press, the thick scent of coffee beans filling the atmosphere. Steve was rubbing his hands together, desperate to feel some kind of heat as your heater was barely kicking on.

The wind blew outside, causing the boards of your windows to knock together loudly and then your house to shake momentarily as well. Steve looked around, and then blew into his hands as he said, “You mind if I take the couch? I doubt this is going to go down anytime soon.”

You glanced at him, the idea of him sleeping over making your heart leap of your chest, as you felt the last thing you needed was the man you desperately wanted romantically, but couldn’t have to be sleeping under the same roof as you. You wouldn’t be able to sleep, but who would you be to refuse a friend , especially in a storm like this.

You poured coffee into one of the mugs you had taken out of the cupboard, clearing your throat as you said, “No, I don’t mind, I’ll get some extra blankets and pillows after this…I actually wonder if Cassie is okay.”

“Oh I know she’s loving this,” Steve replied, noticing you were pouring coffee into a mug and staring at the steaming mug with anticipation, “She’s probably only upset she’s not home because when blizzards like this happen I usually make her hot chocolate and we sit in the kitchen just listening to it or in the living room staring out the window. Weather like this intrigues her.”

You smiled, and said, “That’s good. I’d be scared to death at her age, honestly.”

You held the mug out for Steve and he gladly took it, inhaling deeply and practically moaning. You laughed at that, cheeks becoming inflamed as you put creamer into your coffee to sweeten it up. Steve did the same.

“Yeah, me too,” he replied to your prior statement, “I actually used to think the house was going to blow away and we’d end up halfway across the country.”

“Honestly, at this rate, I wouldn’t be surprised,” you said just as another sharp gust of wind passed and gave a violent shake to the house. Steve looked around again, looking nervous now that it may be true, but the number of blizzards he went through in his childhood alone was enough evidence to know that it simply wasn’t possible. It was one of the main reasons he made sure Cassie wouldn’t have to endure a bad storm or blizzard like this alone.

Steve took a sip of his coffee then, not caring that it was still too hot to drink, and just wanting to feel some kind of warmth as it seemed your heater was struggling to fight against the cold. It should’ve been the first sign that something was going to happen.

You leaned into your counter, holding your own mug with both hands and breathing in the steam deeply and closing your eyes.

“This is kind of nice, actually,” you admitted as you took a sip as well, listening to the harsh winds and Steve agreed.

“Thanks for letting me stay, by the way,” he told you, “I thought maybe I’d be pushing it by asking.”

You shook your head, as your concern wasn’t with him overstepping any kind of boundary.

“Don’t. I mean, we’re friends, Steve,” you willed yourself to say into your coffee.

Steve averted his eyes to yours, seeing you were looking mindlessly at nothing, and he pressed his lips together before breathlessly saying, “ Yeah , friends.”

You both silently drank your coffee, enjoying its warmth and enjoying the way it eased the sudden awkwardness between the two of you. It was a perfect distraction, for the time being, until you both wanted more.

As you poured a second round of coffee into his mug, Steve cleared his throat and said, “ Great coffee.”

You thanked him cheekily, and Steve dragged the mug closer to him, keeping his gaze on you as you poured more into your own mug. He didn’t know what to say, unsure, but there was a sudden hard gust of wind, and then it sounded like something crashed . You both had jumped, you were thankfully not holding the coffee, and before either of you could question what just happened, you were suddenly engulfed in darkness.

“God, the lights went out!” you called, hands grasping your kitchen counter as you navigated in the darkness. Steve noticed you sounded further into the kitchen, and blinked his eyes a few times trying to adjust to the sudden darkness.

“Got any flashlights?” Steve asked you, speaking the direction of a drawer being opened and rummaged through.

“In the garage,” you told him, and then he saw a small flicker of light. You were holding an ignited match, and then, you were lighting a candle to at least give some light for your venture to the garage.

You approached Steve then, holding the lit up candle in your hand and Steve was immediately met with the familiar vanilla scented candle he had in his own house, the same candle he had gifted you on New Years.

“Hey…I know this candle,” Steve said, and you chuckled softly as you replied, “ Yeah , huh, it’s like you knew we’d need this.”

Steve inhaled deeply, loving the smell and you did the same, and said, “I love it so much.”

Your face was illuminated by the candlelight, casting a pretty glow on your features and Steve had to release a breath, a breath of which almost blew the candle out. This made you laugh and lean away from him to make sure he didn’t and told him to follow you.

You and him had gone into your garage, you picking out the flashlights that Steve turned on so you more light than the candle. It was the harsh cold in there that made you both realize that if the power was out, then you wouldn’t have your heater .

“We’re going to freeze,” you said in a dreadful tone, already feeling a chill coming over you. Steve was holding your only working flashlight, and shined it around your living room as he said something about body warmth , before he paused and said, “We can light a fire? Have any wood?”

You promptly looked over his body warmth comment, since he seemed to do so, and you paused as you remembered that in early December Heidi’s husband had given you a bunch of firewood because he had cut too many. You had planned to use it, but never found the time to actually start a fire, so it simply sat in your garage. You relayed this to Steve, and he seemed more than happy to go and get them.

“We should bring all the blankets and pillows you have out here so we can sit on the floor,” Steve told you, and you nodded, turning to go grab those while Steve busied himself with starting a fire. You had decided, as well, that you were going to light various candles, or at least the ones you could find.

You placed them on a few surfaces located in your living room, and just as you set down the last one, a fire was ignited in your fireplace and Steve was leaning over it, rubbing his hands in front of the growing flames and nodding as if proud of himself that you weren’t going to freeze to death, not on his watch.

The sight made you smile, thankful that Steve was here and thankful that you never used the firewood. He turned then, looking around the dimly lit living room as he noticed there were more candles and you watched his brown eyes flicker all over the room until they finally found you.

“Ah, there you are, come on, it’s warmer right here,” Steve told you, and you set down the candle and obliged. You fell to the ground next to him, not before grabbing one of your blankets, and sighed at the heat that emitted from the well lit fire.

“Better?” he asked you and nodded.

“ Yeah ,” you said, holding your hands out to the flame and Steve gave a nod as he said, “Good.”

After getting a bit warm, Steve suddenly laughed and said, “Got any more of that wine I got you? Could help warm us up a bit more.”

You were quick to stand, loving that idea, and Steve seemed surprised that you in fact did have the wine. You took the flashlight, and he listened to a bit of rustling in the kitchen and the sound of a cabinet being opened and closed followed by the sound of glasses clinking.

As you were setting everything on the counter, there was another gust of wind that shook the house violently, and you almost dropped one of the glasses. You looked around, then shook your head and wondered as you grabbed the wine if you had a battery operated stereo.

You did, actually, and thought Steve might appreciate something playing over the harsh sound of the blizzard going on outside…even if it was just disco music.

It actually amused Steve, as he poked at the growing fire, and then started to busy himself with setting up the blankets and pillows you had thrown on the floor more comfortably, when he suddenly heard music from behind him.

“So we don’t have to listen to this blizzard threatening to blow my house across the country,” you said with a giggle as you walk toward him, already feeling the warmth of the crackling fire. Steve grinned, and told you it was a good idea and you settled onto the floor beside him, holding out a wine glass to him.

“Is this the same one I got you on New Years, or is it a whole new one?” Steve asked you as he took the wine from you, determined to be the one to pour it like the gentleman he was.

“It’s the same one,” you said, holding out your own glass and watching him pour the dark liquid in it, “I didn’t have time to drink it…and if I did, we would’ve even had any because I wouldn’t have had time to get another anyway…”

“Well, thank goodness for a busy schedule,” Steve joked as he finished pouring some into his own glass and he lifted it toward you, “Cheers.”

You clink your glass with his with a soft laugh before you settled into the nest of pillows and blankets and begin sipping your wine. The house warmed up gradually, or at least in the living room where you sat, and the wine, even after a couple of sips, was doing its job as well. You felt a warm heat settle in you caused by the alcohol, and was growing more content with the situation you found yourself in with Steve.

Plus, the fire was pleasant to just stare at him, the wood crackling and embers glowing.

After another minute of silence, Steve turned to you and said almost jokingly, “So…I’m gonna be here for a while. Plenty of time for us to exchange our life story, actually.”

He laughed softly after and so did you, but then another silence fell before the both of you.

As Steve sat there, thinking about how to follow up with that, he suddenly thought of your question from earlier in Scoops Ahoy, and while he really didn’t mind you asking, he did wonder why you asked anyway. So, he brought it up again and that dread crossed your face was apparent.

He thought it was cute though, seeing you distressed about it when you didn’t need to be and said, “I just wanna know. Did someone say anything because this town talks.”

You turned to him, leaning your elbow on the couch you were leaning on and told him that Heidi had brought it up, which didn’t surprise him.

“I was just curious,” you said lamely, “We were talking about you, and then it just came up about her leaving or something.”

Steve was about to sip his wine but stopped midway, ears almost perking like a dog’s reaction to the sound of a crinkling bag when he heard you and Heidi were talking about him.

“You were talking about me?” He asked, adding a teasing element to his voice. You looked at him, and scoffed slightly, seeing him grin slyly at you even in the dim lighting from the fire.

You were going to lie to him, say that he was brought up in conversation because of Cassie or some school event, but something suddenly compelled you to tell the truth of the contents of the conversation before the New Year’s party, before you kissed him and he almost kissed you again. You brought your wine up to your lips, downing most of it in order to muster up whatever courage you could.

Steve was already holding the wine bottle out in order to refill your glass. You held it out to him as you spoke.

“Well, she was just saying that you’ve never spent so much time with another woman since Cassie’s mom,” you said, keeping your eyes on Steve to observe his reaction, “She seems to think that it’s because you like me…”

Saying it outloud had you inwardly cringing, as you felt like a teenager again trying to tell her crush that she likes him and hopes he likes her too. These feelings had a way of bringing that out, so much that you just kept talking.

“I keep telling her we’re just friends though,” you added quickly when he was done pouring wine, “But you probably know how she is…”

As you continued to talk, finding excuses for what you’d just said, Steve could only watch you, drinking his own glass of wine, slightly amused by your rambling.

“But that’s a lie because she did tell me that you had seen someone else, I don’t know her name but-”

“Brenda?” Steve said, and the sound of him speaking and you froze, realizing you had started to ramble and immediately shrunk in your spot as you forced yourself to meet his eyes and shrugged weakly. He sipped the rest of his wine, then went to pour more in his own glass, “God, this town probably knows more about my life than I do.”

He laughed weakly, and you sighed.

“I don’t purposely go around asking about you, by the way, I like to learn whatever it is about you with you, like now,” you said nervously, and Steve half-smiled at that.

“Even if you did, I can't blame you, I don’t really talk about that part of my life because…well I’m more concerned with Cassie,” he said, then coughed slightly, “But uh- what else did she tell you?”

You blinked softly, then said, half-lying to yourself, “For the record I don’t take her words to heart…but she said that…well you never did things with Brenda that you do with me.”

Steve was very quickly reminded by Robin’s words the first night was back in Hawkins for a visit. She was right, Steve thought, Steve doesn’t just let people in his life. He doesn’t just invite anyone to Thanksgiving, and now New Years , go apple-picking with anyone who isn’t his daughter, and or suggest going ice skating when he knew he wasn’t very good at it. He doesn’t do these things, not since…well Robin had brought that up too .

“It’s silly, I try not to think too much about it because-”

“She’s right,” Steve suddenly said, and stared at the flames of the fire for a moment before he continued to say, “I didn’t do any of that with her…I haven’t done a lot of things with anyone since Cassie’s mom…until now that is.”

It was a big step for him to even say anything, feeling slightly nervous, and you tilted your head gently. He pressed his lips together before chuckling breathlessly, hating that the thought of her mom in this context still bugged him so bad.

But he did say you both would have time to share each other’s life stories, even though it was jokingly. He sipped his wine again, then licked his lips nervously before he said, “I was just not comfortable letting anyone into Cassie’s life, and she had told me she understood and would be okay with it…but I guess she changed her mind and forgot to let me know.”

“So it just didn’t work out,” you said, and he nodded.

“Yeah, and it made feel terrible, and stupid honestly, but…Cassie’s my number one priority, and always will be…after what happened with her mom…I have a hard time with you know, romance ,” he laughed bitterly at the end of his sentence, and it made you frown as you could tell it wasn’t out of amusement.

“Did you love her?”

It seemed only natural to the conversation for you to ask.

“Did I love Brenda? No,” he said, then felt bad how easily he said it, “God that sounds so bad...it just wasn’t really a loss like Cassie’s mom had been. Only disappointing.”

You pressed your lips together gently, then said, “So you loved Cassie’s mom.”

Steve paused. He never really thought of her in that aspect anymore, as he struggled to admit he had any romantic feelings toward her because of the frustration of her just leaving Cassie. But he did love her, he couldn’t change that…

“We were never… together though, always just friends, and when she came back to Hawkins a year after we graduated and worked together at the Video Store…we decided to hook up. It was one night, and then…she was pregnant,” Steve told this without warning really, but you were intrigued by the story you wouldn’t admit that you wanted to hear. You’d rather it from him, then anyone else to know what happened.

“So… yeah I did love her, at least after, I mean, she was pregnant with our child you know? Totally unplanned, and I wasn’t about to just leave her, so I stayed and then I fell in love…but I guess I was the only one...to fall in love and to stay.”

He downed the rest of his coffee, and you took a sip of yours.

“That’s… a lot ,” you said truthfully, not knowing what else to even say. Steve nodded.

“Yeah, yeah you’re telling me,” he said, placing his mug down for the last time, “What about you? Have any tragic love stories?” He was attempting to lighten the mood after his short rant, and you could only shake your head.

“Like that one? No , I’ve never had the time,” you said, which was something Steve could relate to, “I was really into my studies, always to myself, I barely even had friends …then you know, my dad got sick, so I stopped my life to be with him at the end of his...and now here I am.”

You gestured around the room, and Steve shook his head as if he were in disbelief, “Really? Is it just me, the single dad in the room, who has a tragic love story?”

You laughed and shrugged, and he said, “Yeah…it’s rough , but…at least I have Cassie…and well… you .”

He was taking a risk saying that to you, knowing he meant more than just as a friend. You found yourself smiling weakly at that, the heat of the room and alcohol intermixing with the normal warmth Steve always made you feel.

You sipped your wine slowly then, and you asked him if he could tell you what happened with Cassie’s mom. Steve looked torn by the question, eyes falling to the wine as he swirled it nervously and let out a breath.

“I still don’t know the answer to that,” Steve said bitterly, then shook his head, “For a while, we just co-parented you know, then one day she dropped Cassie off and just…never came back.”

You looked saddened by his words, and Steve took another long sip of his wine, finishing his second glass. You grabbed the bottle, pouring some more in your glass before holding it out for Steve. He held his glass out, thanking you quietly. He hated talking about this, but maybe it was time he did.

“Did you ever find her?”

Steve shook his head, laughing bitterly at that.

“Nope, and I tried. I really did, but…she just vanished off the face of earth.”

You kept your gaze on the side of Steve’s face, even as you sipped your wine. You could barely see him in the dim lighting of the fire that was still ablaze in your fireplace beside the both of you. Steve sighed, rotating his wine glass again before he started to speak again.

“I was so fucking mad,” he admitted, “Not because I had to take care of Cassie myself, no I could handle that, I was practically doing it already, it was just…you know… Cassie . She didn’t understand that her mom just left her.”

The memories of those days that followed flooded through his mind, memories that still made Steve mad. Cassie was so young, too young, and he remembered how every morning she would sit in the living room by the window just waiting for her mom to show up. He kept looking for her during those days, calling around, even actively going out , but her trailer was practically abandoned, everything left behind but all her clothes, the same suitcase she used when she stayed with Steve and his parents during the last month of her pregnancy, and her car. She just dropped Cassie off and left, and it was planned.

He didn’t realize his fists were clenching, and his body was becoming tense. You did though, frowning softly as you reached over to touch his shoulder. Steve turned his head a bit, feeling your touch bringing him back to reality.

“I remember her just waiting by the window for her to just show up, then just watching her give up …” he continued, now looking at you, “And…to be honest, I’m so fucking scared what that is going to do to her. Right now she is okay, she is happy , but what happens when she gets older and when she asks me what happened to mom? And I have to tell her that her own mom abandoned her? And it’s suddenly a concept she fully grasps? What the hell am I going to do?”

He was asking you, even though he knew it wasn’t fair to. Cassie wasn’t your responsibility, but as the months turn into years the question has just been gnawing at him everytime he looked at his little girl, remembering her little face of defeat when she started to realize her mom wasn’t going to come back to her. When she stopped sitting by that window.

It broke his heart, and he wished somehow that he could’ve shielded her from it all.

“It’s…not really the same thing, but…”

You actually speaking made Steve’s eyes flicker back to yours.

“I mean, I was also the daughter of a single dad, as you know,” you started, “My mom passed away when I had barely turned 5. Her funeral is one of the first things I remember, but even then it’s a little fuzzy. I barely remember her actually or even how she looked aside from a few pictures we had, but my dad never put any of them up again when we moved. She didn’t abandon me, not like Cassie’s mom, but as a kid who barely understood death it kind of felt like it.”

You shifted in your spot, eyes looking at the fire now and it was Steve’s turn to stare at you.

“My dad was always gone too, always working, and I never really had a constant person beside him in my life and even then, he wasn’t really constant. He had to work, you know, keep him and his daughter fed. We had our special moments though,” you smiled to yourself, though it was sad he worked so much you still cherished when you’d go out to a burger joint sometimes, when he saved up to buy you your first pair of roller skates, almost enough to make you overlook the years you spent by yourself.

“There were some, like my fifth grade teacher I mentioned, you probably don’t even remember,” you laughed, but Steve shook his head.

“No I do, you brought her up when we were baking,” Steve said, and you felt a bit flushed that he remembered something as small as that, but promptly blamed it on the alcohol sloshing through you and making you warmer than usual.

“Yeah, she was there for a bit, but then we moved- for the last time thankfully- to the city where there was more work for him,” you continued, “And…I was alone again. I did fun stuff, it’s where I was first introduced to disco…” You lifted your hand, gesturing to the boombox that had been playing the occasional 70s disco hit in the background of your conversation.

Steve smiled at that, disco suddenly taking a place in his heart in a way he never expected it to.

“But I was alone , and a lot of the time I resented my mom, my dad too because at times it felt like they both left me,” you said, “I didn’t have anybody but myself, and…it certainly affects me even to this day.”

You took a break to take a sip of your wine, in fact, you were chugging it and Steve just watched you. Despite Steve getting to know you, he knew what you meant. Every snippet of your life, from how you reacted to dinner with the Henderson’s in November, he could see how it does, and he understands it too in a way. It was easy to feel like your own isolated island.

You set your glass down after downing it and turned to Steve, “Anyway, my point is, I was alone, you know? And Cassie…well it’s going to happen, she’s going to wonder why her mom left her and it will hurt, but…she’s not going to be alone. She has so much support from Robin, Dustin, Claudia, those abundance of kids who absolutely adore her, she just has so much love , but more importantly…she has a great dad.”

Steve’s heart swelled in his chest by your words, so much that he felt like he was feeling it in his throat. He swallowed thickly, cheeks becoming flushed. You smiled at him, eyes looking quite foggy from the amount of wine you’ve both consumed.

“I know I’ve barely got here, but…Steve, you’re such a good guy,” you were saying now, expression turning serious, “I can see why everyone is so obsessed with you here, and it’s not just because of your good looks…that’s just an added bonus. You’re a good guy.”

He smiled at that, and you sighed softly, turning your body toward Steve and reached with the hand that wasn’t holding your wine glass to gently grasp the back of his head. Steve was a little disoriented by this, but his vision cleared when he saw you were at eye level with him. He grew still, just staring back at you breathlessly.

“Cassie is going to be okay because she has you .”

It felt like something clicked into place when you uttered those words to Steve. He opened his lips, wanting to say something, but not knowing what. His mind picked up on the music that was playing, the soft, funky beat of the Bee Gees “How Deep is Your Love” flowed through the boombox’s speakers, traveling through the room and reaching Steve.

He was gazing back at you, the fire illuminating half of your face and intensifying your gaze. It was warm in here now, from the fire, the wine, from you . His breath hitched, feeling that electricity again, except it was stronger, more intense and Steve couldn’t ignore it any longer.

Then you come to me in a summer breeze…keep me warm in your love, then you softly leave…

“I wish I met you sooner,” he suddenly said, and you gently nipped your bottom lip and said, “Me too.”

Perhaps it was the wine he was drunk off of, or perhaps it was you he’s become drunk off of - it didn’t matter. He parted his lips, gently licking them before his eyes flickered down to your lips. He couldn’t take it anymore, and when he met your gaze again, and saw the tender way you were looking at him, he couldn’t stop himself, not like he could at Thanksgiving, not like he could everytime after that. He wanted to kiss you, he needed to.

He started to lean in slowly, up until his nose gently nudged yours. You did not stop him, in fact, you were guiding him toward you, inviting him to kiss you. He let out a hot breath, realizing that you wanted this too, even though it was silly to think for a moment that you didn’t, and he closed the space in between your lips like you had done in the Wheeler’s kitchen, laying his mouth on yours softly and sweetly.

Your lips fell together in a tender kiss, and your hand on Steve’s head drew him closer to you. You dropped the empty wine glass you held, landing safely onto the pillows and blankets still gathered around you, and he felt this hand rest on his cheek.

You were warm, so very warm , and his head became dizzy and he too had dropped his wine glass. Except his glass still had wine in it. The glass tipped to the side, its contents spilling and staining one of the pillows and the carpet that peaked out between the pillows it had fallen on.

Neither of you noticed, and if you did, you wouldn’t have cared anyway.

His hands were on your waist now, pulling you toward him without parting his lips from yours, and you let him lead you to wherever he wanted you to go. Soon, you were straddling him, your legs sitting on either side of his and you finally pulled away.

“ Steve ,” you said his name, voice breathless and tainted with wine just like Steve’s was. His hands rested on the expand of your thighs, brown eyes shining as he looked up at you.

“Is this okay?” he asked you, voice low and an octave lower, “I can stop…we can stop.”

You moved your hands to his hair, leaning forward to press your forehead against his, being able to see him better than he can see you. The light of the fire behind you now, the only light being from the small candles placed on various parts of your home, but he could feel your face against his, and he could feel you nod .

Like your lips were a magnet, he was kissing you again, combining your breath together as he consumed your lips with his with an intensity that had you falling against him and letting his kiss lure you into a state of mind that was just him .

He kissed you, and he kept kissing you, tongue sliding between your wet, parted lips and licking into your mouth softly and almost sloppily. His hands started to move on their own accord, one upward toward the small of your back, lifting your shirt ever so slightly.

Your hands had started to wander too, without you realizing it. They were now flat against his chest, feeling the fast beating of his heart against your palm, and the other moved downward, gently grazing his ribs.

He shuddered against you, eyes flickering open and lips parting from yours. He realized too that his hand had wandered, feeling the heat of your skin against his own hand, and he looked up at you, eyes questioning. You sucked in a soft breath, leaning away from Steve.

“Sorry,” he said, referring to his hand that was moving up your shirt. You sighed deeply.

Steve’s eyes had fallen, but when they did they caught the sudden movement of your hands. You were grabbing onto the hem of your shirt, and he snapped his head upward. No words escaped his mouth as he watched you remove your shirt and told him the same thing he told you on New Years… ‘ don’t be.’

“ Fuck ,” Steve said, wishing his eyes would adjust better, and he heard you laugh quietly, as if someone will hear you both, and you grabbed his hands, making them move to your abdomen.

“Are you okay with this?” you asked him this time, perhaps a little too late, but you weren’t really thinking.

“How could I not be? You’re so god damn beautiful,” he told you, and you melted into his lap when he did. He chuckled sweetly at you, then leaned up to kiss you again before his hands started to move against you, and he said again, breathlessly, “ God damn …”

He sounded nervous as he then bit down on his lower lip, feeling your skin tremble underneath his touch. Goosebumps followed where his hands started to move, just over your sides and then upwards until he was touching your breasts.

You hummed when he did, back arching slightly and he licked his lips, eyes moving from your breasts back up to you. He leaned in, pressing gentle kisses onto the skin of your neck, your collarbone, and lower to the mounds of your breast.

You threw your head back softly, mouth falling open as the sensation of him kissing you where you were most sensitive. His brown eyes stayed drawn on you, and he drew his lips away to kiss back up your neck and just underneath your chin.

His hands followed, now on the back of your hair as he brought you forward to crash your lips together in a more fervent kiss, more desperate, and hot. His tongue swirled in your mouth, colliding with yours as he drank you up second by second.

His arms then were wrapped around you, feeling the slight tremble of your legs and before you knew it, he was leaning away and making you lay down. You fell against the soft blankets beneath you, arms falling over your head and Steve had taken his shirt off as well before he settled on his side next to you.

His eyes were dark, you could tell that much by the light of the flames, and you reached your hand forward, falling into the temptation to touch his chest that was full of hair. He released a breath through his nose at your touch, smiling as he was amused. It had been a while since he’d been with anyone intimately like this, and when he felt your hand massaging his chest, he remembered how past partners had done the same. It felt sweeter coming from you though, and he placed his hand over yours and leaned in to press a chaste kiss onto your lips before moving your hand away to place a kiss against that to, then place it back over your head.

He had other ideas, anyway.

“Is this what you want?” he asked, voice almost a whisper.

“Is this what you want?” you asked him back, voice a little shaky. He wasn’t ashamed to reply yes , and you stared at him for a long second before nodding, saying yes, me too .

He smiled softly, eyes drawing over your face and down your body before he brought his hand upward, stopping at your lips. You kissed the fingers there before parting your lips for him, tremors rushing down your body as he pressed his fingers inside of your mouth…

He didn’t ask you again, and neither did you…not when his fingers were buried deep inside of you, making you come undone, not when the rest of your clothes came off, when you kissed each other all over…especially not when you were underneath him, his hips thrusting at a languid, sensual pace, his length pumping in and out of you.

The fire was dying beside you, but you didn’t need it anymore. You and Steve were keeping each other warm.

You were caged in underneath him, seeing nothing but Steve gazing lovingly at you from above. His chest hair rubbed against your own chest, creating a delicious friction with every thrust of his hips that filled you up.

Your hand dragged across his back, your nails scratching his shoulder blades, making pleasurable chills run up and down his back. His mouth was hovering just above yours, parted and releasing soft grunts and pants that intertwined with your own. Then, he was leaning down, lips only grazing yours as his tongue touched yours as his hips moved faster. He grunted, moving away as he did so.

Your back arched upwards, breasts pressing against his chest tightly and moaned his name out softly. He looked back down at you, smiling almost lazily. He pressed his lips against your cheek, before resting his head on your forehead, keeping his brown, hazy eyes open and on you.

You tensed up underneath him, heart thumping out of your chest and lips releasing a cracked moan of his name as pleasurable heat washed over you for the second time that night. Steve kissed you, riding you through it, and whispered sweet nothing against your lips as he too came undone.

✧ ✧ ✧

It was warm when you woke up, your body cocooned in the thick covers you brought in the living room the night before. You were immediately met with an ache that buzzed over your entire body, but it was not unwelcome. It was a reminder of what just happened the night before, of the night you spent with Steve.

Your eyes fluttered open then, adjusting as you stared up at the ceiling of your living room. Heat encompassed over you at the thought of last night, at the thought of Steve, and you looked next to you, expecting to see him, wanting to see him, but the space next to you was empty. You frowned then, starting to sit up when you heard movement in your kitchen.

You sat up completely, turning your head and peering into the kitchen, only to see that man you were expecting to see laying in the pile of blankets next to you standing in front of your stove, his hair sticking it various directions and only wearing his boxers and an apron.

It was a sight that took your breath away, especially when you could make out the marks that were left on his neck by you .

Then, you smelled the killer breakfast he was making. Eggs, bacon…was he making pancakes ? That made your stomach suddenly growl, and as if Steve had heard that, he was turning his head and meeting your eyes.

“Good morning,” Steve called to you, his lips pulled upward in a sweet smile. A smile was brought to your face, cheeks feeling even warmer as he said, “Hungry?”

You started to move to stand, tearing your eyes from Steve as you searched for an article of clothing to put on, only for your eyes to land on the stain left on your carpet.

“Oh…oh damn ,” you said, “When did that happen?”

Steve placed the bacon he’d just finished cooking onto a plate when he turned to see what you were talking about, and instantly he cringed when he saw you staring at the wine stain. His memory of the night wasn’t that hazy, but he could not recall how the spill even happened. It was a little lighter though, considering he spent a good 20 minutes after waking up trying to clean it.

“I really tried to clean it,” Steve told you, wiping his hands with a paper towel.

You could only laugh, turning and looking up at Steve as he came into the living room.

“It must’ve happened…well… yeah ,” you said, purposely not saying when you guys started kissing, and you turned your head to see Steve holding your sweater out to you, a smile on lips, and cheeks dusted pink.

“ Yeah , I figured,” he said, understanding what you meant. You thanked him quietly as you took the sweater and he turned away, back toward the kitchen as he told you that he hoped you didn’t mind him making a big breakfast like this.

You put your sweater on, then found your undergarments and placed those on too. The hem of your sweater stopped just below your thighs, and you finally moved to stand as you said, “No, no I don’t mind at all…”

Steve was holding two plates now, flashing you another sweet grin before setting them down on the small dining room table you had in the kitchen. You noticed even coffee was made, steam rising from the mug and as you got closer, you noticed that he had even prepared it the way you did. He must’ve watched you make yours the night before…

You sat down in the chair, right in front of the plate and coffee and when you saw the fluffy pancakes, you sighed with delight, “God, I fucking love pancakes…” You took the syrup from the middle of the table.

Steve laughed at this, taking the seat across from you. He had discarded the apron, choosing to just be shirtless which you mildly appreciated as the pancakes had consumed your hungry self entirely.

“I remembered you told me that,” he told you as he took the syrup you were holding out for him. You paused as you sliced a part of the pancake with your fork, and glanced at him. He was looking at you, still smiling, and he said, “Go on and taste it. I wasn’t lying when I said I make good pancakes.”

You did as told, Steve watching you intently for a reaction, and you hummed, and nodded as you chewed. They were the fluffiest, perhaps most perfect pancakes you’ve ever had. Steve had not been lying that day in the grocery store back in Fall, and had you already not been in love with the guy, this would’ve been the dealbreaker.

“It’s delicious ,” you said finally, but you didn’t need to tell Steve that. He was already smirking smugly as he said, “I know” before taking a bite of his own pancake.

You ate the rest of your breakfast pretty quickly, as it seemed your previous nightly activity drained all of your energy and finally, as you both washed the dishes, you asked him if the blizzard cleared out.

“Yes,” he replied, then quickly added, “Streets aren’t clear still…so I think I’m gonna have to stick around for a bit longer.”

Steve was looking at you a certain way, brown eyes telling you something he didn’t dare want to say out loud. Your heart flipped in your chest, then warmth that would turn into heat flooded you all over. Neither of you had said anything upfront about your night together, like you were avoiding it, but he wanted to stay …and without checking if he was lying about the streets not being cleared yet, you were more than happy to let him stay.

You spent the rest of the morning in your bedroom, tangled into the sheets with Steve. There were no excuses now, as the wine could’ve been blamed for the night prior. The only thing that was making your mind hazy was Steve himself, and the feeling of his hair between your fingertips as your back arched and you moaned his name…

✧ ✧ ✧

Steve was staring at the ceiling of your bedroom, one arm wrapped around you and the other folded and resting underneath his head. He liked this, he liked the way you felt in his arms, your bodies pressed tightly together, legs tangled together underneath your blankets.

It had been almost 15 minutes since holding you like this, just laying together in silence and he liked that too.

You shifted in your spot gently, untangling your legs from Steve’s in order to stretch them and he looked down at you as you decided to move away from him completely, saying, “I’m gonna turn the heater off for a bit.”

Steve nodded, as you removed yourself from the bed, holding one of your loose sheets around you. He watched you go, heart fluttering in his chest as you flashed him a sweet grin before turning and disappearing into your hallway.

He sighed, smiling to himself as he moved to sit up and then run his hands through his now slightly greasy hair. There was a mirror on the dresser to his left, so he could see just how messy his face was, but he could also see the fresh marks you left on parts of his neck and chest. Right next to the ones from last night. He even touched them, feeling his stomach flood with heat, wondering if either of you could go another round because after all it had been quite a while and you just made Steve absolutely insatiable that he didn’t even want to leave after breakfast.

You had come back, holding a pile of clothes in your arms. It was the clothes Steve had discarded in the living room the night before and just never put back on.

“Here,” you said cheekily as you placed them on the bed then went to the dresser. Steve took that moment to reach out and grab you. You gasped softly as he did, and he was grinning widely at you as he pulled you onto his lap.

“Hi,” Steve told you, hands sprawled out on your bare thighs, gently squeezing the flesh there.

“ Hey ,” you replied breathlessly, moving your hands toward his hair as if it were second nature by now. He sighed through his nose and leaned up to kiss you again, and already, again , you were putty in his lap. You weren’t sure if you were ever going to get enough of Steve Harrington, especially now that you’ve gotten an actual taste of him.

God, it was so easy to fall in love with him and you weren’t sure you’d ever want to be with anyone but him.

It was that thought that had you pausing, and Steve had felt you suddenly go still against him. He opened his eyes and leaned away to give you a curious look before asking what was wrong. You swallowed thickly, leaning away from him as well, but not leaving his lap.

“Steve I…what…what is this?” you asked. He blinked gently, and you could see his eyes grow thoughtful before he peered back up at you. He was going to say something, but for some reason you were suddenly scared he was going to say it was a one time thing (thought one time turned into a few times that your sheets were gonna smell like him for a while), so you said, “I’m not expecting anything…we were pretty drunk last night…”

Steve stared at you, before he licked his lips and said, “We weren’t drunk this morning…”

The dread in your stomach gently faded at that, and you replied, “I don’t know…those pancakes were so good they did something to me.”

He laughed at that, and his laugh made you laugh as well and he kept his gaze on you the entire time, as if he loved watching you laugh and smile. You pressed your lips together in a smile, and he said, “I don’t…I don’t want it to be a one time thing, if that’s what you’re asking.”

His expression had grown serious, and his hands that were squeezing the flesh of your thighs turned into gentle rubs, as if he was nervous.

“ I like you ,” he said, though his voice sounded a little forced, because he didn’t want to use the word ‘like’ because his feelings for you were more than that, though you didn’t know that. You would take what you could though, and force yourself to use the same word as well, even though it was quite clear to you that you were completely in love with him.

“So…what now then?” you asked softly.

He sucked in a breath. The truth was, Steve didn’t know, well he did know, but he still wasn’t sure about it because he had suddenly thought of his daughter. The thought of Cassie made Steve frown, and a weird feeling crossed his chest that made him doubt the decision he was about to make. Steve wanted to be with you, but his stupid mind had started to talk him out of it, telling him he wasn’t going to work , you didn’t deserve his flaky nature, or to wait on him when he was too busy for you…he didn’t want to do that to you, just like he had told Robin the first night she came back to Hawkins.

But then he also thought about the other thing Robin had told him…he’d be crazy if he didn’t at least try .

Alas, it was the thought of Cassie that halted any decision making on Steve’s part, as he realized that he was supposed to pick her up almost an hour ago, which was not helping the case in his mind. He forgot his own damn daughter, not that Delilah’s mother minds, nor does Cassie and Dee herself, but he still felt horrible.

“Shit, I’m sorry, I have to go, ” Steve told you, failing to realize before he said it that he didn’t answer your question as he gently moved you off of him.

Your heart had fallen down to your stomach, and Steve caught the expression on your face as he pulled on his boxers, and was grabbing his jeans. It was one of heartbreak, and it tore him inside to see it. It made him pause with his jeans halfway on, and he opened his mouth but nothing came out as he felt ridiculous with his jeans only up to his knees, so he pulled it on and buttoned it before walking toward you.

“No! No, that- that wasn’t my answer,” he told you, fear in his voice that he messed up.

“Steve, it’s okay-” you tried to say, but he reached over to gently touch your cheek and kiss you without really thinking. You went still as his lips pressed gently against yours, and he leaned with a soft sigh.

“I’m late to pick Cassie up, that’s all,” he assured, his hand still on your suddenly very hot cheek, “I just…I want to talk again, okay?”

“Okay,” you said, because you were at a loss of words of what his sudden kiss meant and didn’t know what else to say. Steve seemed content with that and nodded, before he gently swiped his thumb under your eye and told you earnestly, “I’ll call you.”

Now you could only nod, and he returned that nod before grabbing his shirt and putting it on. You could only sit on the bed, the sheet still the only thing covering your bare body, and you watched him quickly put his shirt on, inside out but you doubt he cared as his concern was forgetting to pick his daughter up.

He did spare you one last glance and small good-bye though before he was rushing out of your room and down the hall, where you could hear him cursing as he put his shoes on before you heard him open the door to your garage.

When you could no longer hear him in your house, you suddenly felt very cold without him there, and you hugged the sheet around you tighter, already missing him and the warmth he always brought you.

And you waited for that call, standing idly by the phone whenever you were home, keeping your stereo off even as you eventually scrubbed away at the wine stain on your carpet that would just not come out. When you folded all the blankets, washed the wine glasses, and tossed the empty one in the trash. It was pushed to the back of your mind for about an hour, when you called a towing company to get your car from Starcourt, and take it to the mechanic in Downtown Hawkins. When you got home though, it was night time, and you waited.

You waited for it, even the following day, and the day after that…you would even find yourself gazing at the door, wondering if he was going to walk through those doors, apologizing for not calling because he’d rather see you instead.

But he didn’t. Steve was never the one to walk through the office doors in the days following the night and morning you spent together, was never the one on the other side of the line if your phone did happen to ring. You told yourself that you weren’t hurt, trying to convince yourself that when you said you weren’t expecting anything you were telling the truth.

You fell in love with Steve Harrington, and then…well, you were sure that if he didn’t call or make the effort to see and speak to you even after everything he told you before he left your house in such a rush to pick Cassie up…then it must be his way of saying that nothing, nothing was to come from what happened between the two of you.

He was busy, you knew that, he told you relationships weren’t his forte from the beginning, everyone did, and yet, he was so easy to like, even easier to fall in love with that you didn’t stand a chance. Still, your heart couldn’t try and rationalize his actions like your brain, and you were completely and utterly heartbroken.

And then, you wondered just what the hell was Steve freaking Harrington’s reason for all this.

#its here #late #but HERE #listen to how deep is your love if you CAN #i wrote SO MUCh #steve harrington #it's so long i dont even wanna give a word count aslaskjaklsja #cause oof #stay tuned for spring #it'll be shorter than this bad boy #i say but then i end up writing for a thousand years #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington imagine #single dad steve au #stranger things #stranger things imagine #confetti series #lys writes again

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the-lonelybarricade · 1 year

Note

I live for your fic recs… is it okay if I ask for some recs on maybe some retellinga or alternates of nyx’s birth? Or some feysand fics following the events of his birth? Thanks!

Hell yeah let's do some Feysand pregnancy fics!

Fics set prior to the birth:

Sands of Time by Fanfic4fun - General snapshots of Rhys during ACOSF that we get hints of through Cassian, now fleshed out through Rhys’ POV

Queen of Stars by sv_you_know_who_I_am - Winter Solstice and Feyre's birthday bring and extra surprise that Rhys wasn't expecting (Written pre-acosf)

A Gift of Stars by aqueentorattlestars - Feyre and Rhysand have a miscarriage scare. Feyre is put on bed rest and Rhysand is the doting mate (wrriten pre-acosf)

i'll put my future in you by bravebuttercups - Feyre and Rhys get some unexpected, and wonderful, news. (written pre-acosf)

Singing as the Night Bows by ArrowMusings and TheLonelyBarricade - A glimpse into the wholesome Feysand pregnancy content that we missed out on in acosf

Adding Another by Marina_Raven - After years of hoping, their dream is finally answered. Now all Feyre has to do is figure out how to tell her mate the good news. (Written pre-acosf)

Oblivious 2.0 by SparklelyWonderful - Cassian discovers some big news (written pre- acosf)

Date Night In by thewayshedreamed - Fluff from the prompt "I’m crying because I dropped my shoe and now I can’t even reach it!"

Ice Cream Craving by Reverie_Rose - A short fic where Feyre's pregnancy food cravings kick in and she decides she wants to make homemade ice cream with Rhys. Imagine the stress and dangers of her pregnancy in ACOSF didn't exist.

Fics set during the birth:

miracles by VivereLibri - The five times Feyre gives birth. (Part of her Live Once (Once Is Enough) AU)

Feysand Pregnancy Fix-It by aeronwyn - Canon Fix-it

Nyx' less traumatic arrival into the World by Shallyne - Canon Fix-it

The New Bet by elentiyawhitethorn - Modern AU, When Feyre goes into labor, there’s only one question—who won the bet?

So Rare and So Precious by Kitashi - A Rhys POV of a happy future with Feyre and starting a family. (written pre-acosf)

Post Birth fics:

Parenthood by minnielikes - Feyre and Rhys are dealing with their PTSD after the traumatic birth while simultaneously adjusting to parenthood.

this night is long (but with you i can see the stars) by gins_potter - some PTSD emerges during Feysand's second pregnancy

Always Together by 95WolfPanda - A Feysand snippet shortly after the birth of Nyx.

This Is How I See You by Fanfic4fun - Three months after Nyx’s birth, Rhys and Feyre struggle to balance being parents with their other duties (🌶️)

Like An Illyrian by TheLonelyBarricade - Rhys soothes Nyx to sleep

constellations across my skin by moonbeam007 - It was then that Feyre realized she gave her son a piece of herself, her skin emitted a faint glow at the pride and happiness she felt watching Nyx paint nothing in particular.

Starry Night by enderpeoples - Feyre deals with the earth-shattering revelation that Rhys lied to her about her pregnancy, and confronts him in a place with ties to their past.

You Can't Kiss It Better by elentiyawhitethorn - Feysand’s fight after Nesta tells Feyre that she and her baby will die

#It's been a hot sec since I've done one of these!#feysand #fic recs #feysand fic

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gerec · 1 year

Note

Hi! I have always adored your rec. Do you have cherik period fic rec? :) thank you <3

Anon if you're still hanging around (and I hope you are), I have some wonderful period fic recs for you! This fandom has an abundance of great aus, and it's pretty impossible to rec them all on one list. I'll do my best to give you a good mix of different periods and hope you find something there to enjoy :D

Here is a post that has a number of great fandom classics! (sorry a couple might have been removed from ao3 but most are still there) terrible with the brightness of gold by brawlingdiscontent

The war is lost.

With the futures of his people and his children at stake, former Crown consort Charles of Normandy awaits the arrival of England's new master, the fearsome Viking warrior, Erik Lehnsherr. (Inspired by 11th century historical events)

First Impressions by sirona

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a spouse -- or the nearest set of curtains to hide behind, if you were to believe Mr Charles Xavier. Little does he know that he himself will soon put test to that very truth.

let's pretend I'm holding your hand by primetime

"Shaw is King, Charles is his royal consort and Erik is a Knight/Lord. Shaw is sterile but his kingdom can't find out, so he asks Erik to impregnate Charles. He doesn't know Erik and Charles are in love. Regency AU."

Roses & Cinnamon by TurtleTotem

Charles Xavier lost more than his leg in the war with Napoleon, and the man he's just pulled out of the water has ghosts of his own -- especially when Charles's involuntary projected hallucinations prove catching. Raven, meanwhile, faces the choice of whether to marry respectably or run away with a carnival fortune-teller.

Pride & Prejudice - Rip it from my hands by Synekdokee

“Say you forgive me,” Erik whispered, his breath warm against the skin of Charles’ neck.

Charles stood quietly by the window, looking past their reflections out into the yard.

“You made your feelings quite clear,” he said, stepping away from Erik.

Erik grasped his wrist hard, refusing to let Charles walk away.

“Please.”

All the King's Man by Pookaseraph

In an effort to get out from under the thumb of his step-father, Charles chooses to become a courtesan for several minor nobles in King Erik's court. It is not long before he attracts the eye of the young king, and the Cardinal who holds the young king's ear. Charles spends months working to secure his place as King Erik's favorite and to regain his father's title of Merchant Prince. Charles hopes to disprove the old adage that once you enter the king's bed, you have nowhere to go but down.

The Marriage Bargain by kianspo

Erik Lehnsherr had made a fortune manufacturing steel in Europe. When he wished to expand to the New World, he discovered that no one would do business with him unless he was affiliated with one of the First Families, the creme de la creme of the NW aristocracy. When Lord Marko holds an auction to give away his 14-year-old stepson's hand in marriage, Erik sees his chance and takes it. He has no interest in Charles himself, but now that he has him, can they make it work?

A September as Sunny as Spring by Black_Betty, ikeracity, keire_ke

Charles Xavier was part of a famous vaudeville act before an accident cost him his career and his ability to walk. He's pulled together a new life as a musician in Hollywood, but is finding it difficult to navigate his feelings for his old friend and partner, Erik Lehnsherr, the most sought after matinee idol of their generation.

Famous film duo Frost and Lehnsherr are two of the most well-known and admired mutants in the public eye, having built their fame and fortune on silent film blockbusters.When the rise of the new "talking pictures" phenomenon threatens all their careers, they must band together to try to prove that their days of stardom are far from over.

And a couple by me for your consideration:

The Master of Charlton Park by Gerec

On the brink of losing his ancestral home, omega Charles Xavier agreed to do the unthinkable; he would sacrifice his own happiness for the sake of his family, and bear a child for a married alpha and his mate.

But Charles never expected that alpha to be Erik Lehnsherr, with whom he shared an impossible love and undeniable passion.

All of You and All of Me by Gerec

Erik Lehnsherr aka Magneto is King of Genosha, forty-three and the veteran of countless wars against the British Empire.

Charles Xavier is his new husband, in a marriage arranged by the King of England as part of the peace treaty between their two kingdoms.

Logan Howlett is Charles' long time friend and bodyguard, in a secret love affair with the married Prince Consort.

#gerec rambles #cherik #fic rec #gerec's fic rec #period fic #period au #historical au #regency au

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gremlin-bot · 1 year

Text

Hope of Future Flight

AO3 link: Here @dpxdcshipweek

Dick has been defying gravity his entire life. Acrobatic flips and controlled fall, ripping through his body with grace and power that very few have. He loved every second of his imitation of flight. He loves having partners that could fly with him even more.

Koriand'r was wonderful and one of the best people Dick had the pleasure of meeting. He doesn't regret his relationship with her, just wishes her the best. He does miss the flights with her, though.

Dick loves being one of Gotham's birds. He takes pride in being able to handle the city's worst, but even the big bad bat can get distracted and startled. His reminiscing on past relationships certainly did not help him tonight, as he took a slight fall off a 10 story building at the sight of a man with giant wings sitting on top of said building. Lucky for him the man has good reflexes and wings strong enough to hold them both in air.

"That was a close one, you good?" The man asks as he sets Dick down in the center of the roof.

"Uhh yeah." Dick was mesmerized by the man's wings. They were strong and a gorgeous gradient of brown with bits of white feathers popping in the middle of the wings. They look like the wings of a Black Kite, which is strange. That species of birds lives in a vastly different part of the world than Gotham, New Jersey.

"So, do you fall off buildings often or just for special occasions?" The man smirks and Dick can feel himself flush.

"Usually when I fall it's on purpose, but I wasn't expecting anyone to be up here. Accidents happen, you know." God, Dick was being a distracted fool. A fool that got the winged guy to laugh. Dick's smile grows at the light sound.

"I'm Dash, you must be one of Gotham's bats or birds." The man- Dash offers his hand. His wings shift on his back, a nervous gesture of sorts.

"Yep. Nightwing, a bird by name, unlike you it seems." Dick takes the other's hand, only slightly surprised by the grip strength Dash displays.

"You got me there. It's a side-effect from my hometown. I'm hoping that Batman doesn't really mind. I'm trying to transfer to Gotham U this fall." He looks like a puppy dog waiting for his favorite person to come home. Dick might be a goner if Dash actually gets to see him again.

"I can talk to him for you. If you get accepted, of course. I'm sure we can all work something out."

"That'll be great, man! I'm supposed to attend a campus tour tomorrow, so here's hoping." Dash looked a bit more relaxed than before. Hopefully Dick can get Tim to gather enough information on him and possibly his hometown to satisfy B. He has a good few months before the fall semester starts. He'll be good, Tim works fast and likes a challenge.

"I'm curious, what program are you trying for?"

"Nursing, pediatrics if I can but I'll get there when I get there." Dash shrugged, his wings adjusting with the movement.

"Oh, that's-" Dick was cut off by his com buzzing to life.

"Nightwing, quit your pitiful flirting. Penguin is on the move." Damien hissed. Dick may have forgotten that Robin was on patrol with him tonight.

"On my way, Robin." Dick finds the small notebook he keeps in his suit and scribbles out the number he uses for his nightly activities. "Sorry to cut this short, but here, a way to contact me. Tell me if you get accepted, handsome."

Dash takes the offered paper, an amused smile on his face as he walks to the edge of the roof. "Thanks. Have a safe patrol, Nightwing. Don't keep Robin waiting." Dash steps back and falls.

Dick's heart stops at the sight, only to restart as he sees Dash soar into the air and out of sight. He was enraptured once again by the man with wings. Too bad Damien won't let him stay there any longer.

"Nightwing, what is your ETA?" Damien huffs over com, clearly tired of his oldest brother's antics.

"Sorry, little Bat. Be there in 5." It's Dick turn to fly now. He hopes that Dash can see.

#dpxdc #DPxDCShipWeek2023 #DcxDp #DPxDCShipWeek #dash baxter #nightwing #dick grayson #day 4(DPxDCShipweek)#wings au #dc x dp fic #Dash Baxter/Dick Grayson #Core strength(ship)#batpham discord server #I got to choose the ship name guys!!!#Writing on the walls

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slothquisitor · 5 months

Text

We're Not All Dying Here

The brain is defeated and the world is saved, but it doesn't fix everything. Basically, I have a lot of feelings about how everyone is free of the tadpole, but Astarion is the one who loses everything. Major endgame spoilers. Astarion x Liv, 5k, hurt/comfort more than angst for once.

Also on AO3

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When Liv manages to pull herself out of the Chionthar, it is to a changed city shrouded in orange haze, the smell of battle still in the air. Buildings have crumbled, and there is smoke in the distance, but the bells are ringing in victory, and she swears she hears distant cheering. The Netherbrain is defeated, and she and all her friends still stand. She collapses on her back upon the wooden dock, sucking in deep breaths. Her mind is quiet at last, she can no longer feel the tadpole.

It is an immense relief to be alone in her mind once again. The Emperor is dead, the tadpole too, and she is entirely herself. She will not be turning into an illithid. The very thing she sought to do months ago has finally been achieved. It doesn’t feel real.

Astarion sits down heavily beside her, running a hand through his sopping-wet hair. “I…I can’t feel the tadpole. It’s gone - we’re free!” His voice cracks a little on the last word, excitement, exuberance, exhaustion, all wrapped up in one little word.

Liv wipes at her eyes, still wet from the river, and pretends there are not errant tears mixed in. “We did it.”

“On your feet, soldier,” Karlach stands over her, holding out her hand. Liv takes it and is pulled up and straight into a bone-crushing hug. “We take our victories standing up.”

Liv nods to hide the way she sways a little when Karlach lets her go. She feels a bit unsteady, her limbs weak. She can’t remember a time she’s felt this drained of all magic, but also this alive. It’s a heady feeling, full of adrenaline and relief.

“My powers…they’re draining,” Wyll says looking at his hands. “Just like Mizora said they would. A small price to pay, in the grand scheme of things.” His voice sounds a little lost, a little full of grief. They have all sacrificed so much to get here, to be truly free. Wyll’s father is alive, but for how much longer?

Liv isn’t sure what to say, so instead she turns to survey the city. Jaheira pats her shoulder. “Well, this is a bigger mess than any we made in the good old days. My congratulations.” Pride laces the joke, and Liv wishes she had the words to say just how much Jaheira’s unrelenting faith in her has meant.

There will be time for that later. There is nothing pressing at them on the horizon. No day to save or villain to take down. The adventure is over, but not everyone has been saved. Orpheus hovers nearby, a sense of accomplishment tinged with grief radiating off of him in waves. Even without the tadpole, she can feel the bright burst of his emotions. She hasn’t forgotten what was asked of her, what she promised.

Even when my time in the prism stretched out like eternity - when escape seemed impossible - I never lost hope. I knew that my destiny was to liberate my people. To return to them triumphant. I was wrong. It seems that I can only fulfill one part of my destiny. My people will be liberated, but I cannot return to them. Not like this. You helped me destroy that abomination. Now help me destroy myself. You must kill me. Orpheus kneels, draws out his sword and holds it out to her.

She doesn’t want to do this, even as she takes his blade. She grips the blade awkwardly. She is not a fighter.

Orpheus hasn’t noticed, is instead looking past her. But first, Lae’zel, I will have your promise. Carry my hope, carry my burden. Call my dragons, Quulos and Quuthos, and ride to the Astral Sea. Destroy Vlaakith, release our people. Be our future and our legacy.

Lae’zel bows her head solemnly. “It will be done. I will never be free while my people are still bound by Vlaakith’s chains.”

Orpheus nods, eyes falling shut as he squares his shoulders. Enough talk - give me my freedom. Freedom from this form.

She was the one who asked him to do this, who gave her word, but she wishes there was any other way. “Are you sure?” Orpheus still seems very much himself. Perhaps he could still live a life, still help his people in some way…but it is not what he wants.

Orpheus glares up at her. Release my soul to the Astral Seas while I still have one to call my own.

The tears threaten to fall, but she will not let them. Because they are not for him, not really. She barely knows this githyanki prince who sacrificed so much and saved them all. Still, she wishes things were different. She did not flinch away from his transformation and she will not flinch away from the consequences of her choices. She lines up the blade, resting it against his heart, and then plunges it into his chest. It’s strange, how easy it is to take a life. How little effort it takes. She has long since stopped counting the lives she has taken, the stories ended by her hand. Even though he asked for this death, and changed to an illithid willingly, Liv knows she won’t ever forget this moment where she had to look her own weakness in the eyes and kill it.

Gith’ka tavkim krash’ht, Orpheus whispers as he falls. She doesn’t know what it means. She hopes it is a comfort. There are many things she regrets, but she cannot seem to find it in herself to regret not being the one to turn. She’s not sure what that says about her, who it is exactly she has become.

She scarcely has time to think before Lae’zel steps forward, voice raised to the sky, calling the dragons. She turns to her as one lands beside the fallen prince. “I can never forget you. Your name will be etched in our slates. You will be called Mla’ghir - liberator.” And then Liv is pulled into another hug. It’s stiff, uncomfortable, even. Lae’zel has only one arm around her, as if she’s unsure about this display of care and affection. But as Lae’zel pulls away she’s smiling. “Live well.”

“Good luck, Lae’zel,” Liv manages.

And then Lae’zel is off. Riding up into the sky on the back of a red dragon all triumphant glory against the orange haze of the sky. Other dragons with their githyanki riders follow suit, portals opening within the sky above the city. It’s a strange sight, but then, what hasn’t been today?

“Well, the crown is in the depths of the Chionthar. Perhaps that’s where it should stay, or perhaps I will give it back to Mystra, as she asked,” Gale says, watching the rushing water of the river.

“And here I thought I’d have to talk another friend out of godlike power,” Liv says, attempting humor but only sounding tired.

Gale looks away from the river and gives her a smile. “If our time together has taught me anything, it’s that there are things in this world far more valuable than power. I’m sure Mystra will summon me soon enough, but until then, I propose we celebrate our victory the mortal way - with a drink in hand and reckless abandon in our hearts.”

“Oh…I could really go for a meal…and a drink,” Karlach agrees.

“We should see if the Elfsong is still standing,” Astarion suggests. He tosses a brilliant grin her way, and his eyes are bright with excitement. He’s beautiful, even waterlogged, it’s rather unfair.

She realizes then what he has likely been marveling at for several minutes: he is standing in full daylight on these docks. Perhaps…perhaps some of the parasite’s gifts were permanent after all. “You-” Words fail her.

He shrugs off her awe with a hand on his hip and a jut of his chin. “I honestly don’t care what we do, once we get….ow!”

Astarion raises a hand to his cheek, flinching as if he has been burned. “What the - oh gods. Oh no. Well, it was nice while it lasted…” his skin is blisters and cracks, and Liv’s heart breaks. For several horrifying seconds, he doesn’t move, doesn’t react, just watches the burning of his hands. “Argh! I’m sorry, I-I have to go!” He’s running then, stumbling up the dock in search of shadows.

Liv is already giving chase, cataloging any spells she might be able to use to help, and trying to figure out if she has any magic left for them at all anyway. But then, she hears Karlach cry out. The sound stops her short…because of course: her engine. Responsibilities to both her friends and their suffering war within her. She tells herself Astarion will be alright for the moment, but Karlach will not. So she stays.

Karlach is doubled over, clutching her chest. “Engine’s finally cooked. Held on just long enough.” Karlach is drenched in sweat, each breath is a labor, but somehow she is still smiling through gritted teeth. “So, how’d I do?”

Liv doesn’t want to accept this. Now that the brain is defeated she was supposed to have time to fix this. There’s got to be a way. She kneels down beside Karlach. “You were spectacular in every way. As always. But I need you to hang on, I can still cool you down, we can find Dammon. You’re going to be okay.”

Karlach reaches out, grasping Liv’s shoulder. “I adore you.” Before Liv can answer, flames emerge between them, the heat almost unbearable. “I never gave up. I did my best. I did my best.”

It sounds like she’s trying to convince herself. Liv leans forward. “Karlach, hang on just a little longer. Please.”

But it seems like Karlach hasn’t heard her. “It’s the one thing I can’t beat, isn't it? I wanted to live. In my city. With my friends. Gods…goodbye, sun. Goodbye, sea.” And then Karlach turns the full force of her orange eyes on Liv. “Goodbye.”

And there’s nothing Liv can do, nothing she can say.

“No! Stop,” Wyll calls. “I won’t allow this. Karlach, you’re coming with me - back to Avernus.”

Karlach’s face is twisted in pain. “You can’t…you…”

Liv seizes this moment. “Give me a year - just a year. See if I can make some headway. If I can’t…then you pick the time and place, and I’ll be there. I promise. You’re not alone anymore, Karlach. It’s not forever. Just to buy us time.”

“So? What do you say? Die here, now, or live on with the Blade of Avernus at your side. Zariel won’t touch you. I swear it, Karlach.”

Liv holds her breath, waiting. Hoping her friend chooses life.

Finally, Karlach nods. “Fine. I’ll go. Wyll. With you. But we have to go. Now. I can’t hang on much longer.”

“Thank the gods you’ve seen sense,” Wyll says as he rushes to her side. He smiles when he looks back at Liv, magic already swirling around their feet. “Our next adventure awaits!”

And then they too are gone, and Liv is alone.

Except…she isn’t, really. Shadowheart, Gale, Halsin, Jaheira, and Minsc remain. Perhaps they will all go their own way now too. She’s not sure she’s ready for that.

Their group is quiet for a long time, as they all look at the place Karlach and Wyll had stood. As they all consider their dwindling numbers.

Halsin is the first to speak. “Come, we should find Astarion.”

Oh gods, Astarion. So much has happened so quickly, that Liv has scarcely had time to catch her breath.

“I think he ran this way,” Liv gestures up the docks, already breaking into as much of a run as she can manage. She prays he made it somewhere safe. She has lost enough today, she can’t bear to lose him too.

***

Astarion pulls his knees closer into his chest as he leans into the shadow beside the crate he’s managed to find. The shadow is a slip of a thing, barely large enough to shield him from the sun’s rays. It’s been a very, very long time since he’s been burned by the sunlight this badly, but he can already feel the blisters and cracks in his skin knitting back together. His healing abilities are back at least, small comfort that. He has had far worse pain than this, but in this moment, those memories are distant things. The pain of the present, the pain of now, demands his full attention. No amount of telling himself he’s had worse seems to distract from the persistent, burning throb.

But it will pass.

And he will remain here until nightfall. Then he will go to find his friends and Liv and finally celebrate her victory. She did it, and he’s so fucking proud of her. The perfect heroic sacrifice had been placed before her as if it had been tailor fit to her and all her many insecurities. And she had done what she wanted instead. And the world was still saved. Gods, she better remember that.

He supposes this is his victory too, but it doesn’t feel like it. Not here. Alone. These docks are filthy, and they reek. And that was before a giant brain was destroyed over top of them. He’s going to need a very long, very thorough bath after this. And maybe a criminal he can drink dry on the way to the Elfsong. He’ll feel much better once he’s not cowering behind this bloody box, anyway.

But there had been a moment there…where he had believed that his ability to walk in the sun was permanent. The parasite was gone, but there he stood on the docks with his friends. It was…it was an impossibly perfect moment. It was gone just as quickly as it came, but for a moment, it had existed. And it had been beautiful.

He is free, and the world is saved, but he is still a vampire spawn. He leans his head against the rough wood of the crate and lets the disappointment wash over him. There was, as ever it seems, a tiny part of him that believed this ending would be just like all of those adventure stories he’s been consuming these last months. In those stories, everyone gets the happy ending they deserve: curses are removed, lovers ride off into sunsets, and friends are reunited.

It feels safe to admit it now, to admit it here at the end of all things, that he had hoped that if he was played the part of somewhat heroic adventurer well enough…that maybe he’d get a little something too. He’s fought side by side with heroes, killed monsters, solved murders, conversed with gods…and he had hoped for something in return. Nothing too much, no, just…this. But that is not the way of the world. That is not the way of his life. He really should know better by now. He curls deeper into the shadows to which he is once again chained, and tells himself that this isn’t a defeat.

“Astarion!”

He straightens upon hearing his name, is rewarded with a burn on his cheek for his trouble, and he resituates himself in the shadow. The voice sounded like Liv’s, but it was far away, so it’s hard to know for sure.

He waits a moment, wondering if he will hear it again. Perhaps he imagined it completely. It’s been a long day after all.

“Astarion!”

There it is again. Not imagined. Only this time it’s Gale’s voice calling, and he knows even his delusions aren’t that cruel. His friends - they’re looking for him.

He’s not sure why, but he never expected it at all. He should have, probably. Liv is far too good, too kind to leave him here on this dock. But he’s not sure that he wants her or their friends to see him like this: cowering beside a crate on a filthy dock that reeks of fish. He’s not sure he wants them to see what he’s become. The tadpole made him exceptional, still a spawn, but better. With it gone, he has been reduced to what he was before as if this little adventure of theirs hadn’t happened at all. He’s hardly in the mood for celebration, and he considers how easy it would be to stay here, to hide. He’s rather good at hiding, after all.

He could simply remain quietly here, and they will pass on by. He’ll rejoin them later, or at least find Liv - he’s not so sure about the rest. There’s a certain amount of shame rising up within him. He doesn’t want to sit here on this dock until nightfall, but something about needing a rescue now, after all they’ve done makes him feel unacceptably fragile.

“Astarion!” Liv’s voice calls, closer now. There’s a hint of panic in her voice.

He sighs. Now, that won’t do at all. He didn’t realize she’d be worried. And suddenly his plan to remain here and alone vanishes.

“Over here, darling!”

He hears her footsteps drawing nearer, and then she’s peering around the crates, green eyes wide with concern. She looks immediately relieved upon seeing him, and now he feels like an asshole for not immediately answering her. He sees her take in the scene, him scrunched up in this scrap of shadow, and her brows knit together in a different sort of worry.

“Astarion, I am so sorry,” she says before pulling a scroll out and casting darkness above the whole area. It’s a simple spell, but the fact she uses a scroll speaks to just how drained she is, just how much of her magic she poured into the fight today. She turns and yells, “I found him!”

“We knew this would happen,” he replies, waving her apology off with his hand. She is genuinely sorry, he can see that, but he doesn’t want it. He unfolds himself from the way he’d been sitting for the last half hour, stretching out sore limbs.

Liv shakes her head. “No, I…I was right behind you, but then…Karlach’s engine…” The words trail off.

Oh. “Is she…” Astarion asks, afraid of the answer.

“Wyll convinced her to go to Avernus with him while I look for a fix…but it was a near thing. And bad timing. I didn’t mean for you to be all alone… I meant to follow…”

Karlach in Avernus…with Wyll. How very interesting. Liv has been asking for time, for the opportunity to solve that particular problem for a while now. She finally has it. Good.

“I understand. It’s alright.” And he means it. He never expected anyone to come after him, and of course, she had to stay for Karlach. Liv had promised to be with her till the end, and Liv doesn’t break her promises.

“I-” Liv begins, only to be interrupted.

“There you are!” Gale says as he and Shadowheart round the corner of the crate.

Shadowheart is already approaching him, hands held out. “Let me take a look at you, I’m not entirely spent.”

He holds up a hand and leans away. “Thank you for the thought, dear, but I do think I’m fine.” It’s true, he can barely feel the burns now.

“Look Liv, it is just as Boo said! You shouldn’t have doubted we’d find Astarion,” Minsc booms.

He meets Liv’s gaze, and without a hint of irony shrugs. “You really shouldn’t have ever doubted the miniature giant space hamster.”

The joke earns him a tired smile, before she sighs and sits down. “When will I ever learn? You’ve always got to trust the miniature giant space hamster.”

The rest of their friends join them on the ground, seemingly content to wait until nightfall. Gale spends at least fifteen minutes overexplaining how if he wasn’t so drained from the fight with the Netherbrain he could adjust the darkness spell to follow Astarion around. Jaheira and Minsc bicker about old battles and the destruction left in their wake, Halsin and Shadowheart continue to insist that they can offer him healing, but he can’t seem to do much beyond looking around at all of them with a sort of disbelief. Eventually, Liv’s gaze meets his across the space, and while their friends talk and bicker around them, he knows she feels the same sort of disbelief. They are here, and they are not alone.

It’s not long before the sun sets, and what remains of their group limps their way through the quiet, rubble-strewn streets of Baldur’s Gate. It’s a long walk to the Elfsong, or perhaps it just feels that way after the day they’ve had. As they walk, Liv slips her hand in his, and he is reminded of another evening they walked these streets hand-in-hand, how they wished for simpler days.

They hear the Elfsong before they see it. Music pours out of doors and windows thrown open to the warm night. The block the tavern sits on looks relatively untouched, even the Baldur’s Mouth building, which really is a pity. The energy emitting from the Elfsong is a somber, desperate sort of celebration. The people of the city have survived something they don’t fully understand, but many seem determined to celebrate the victory anyway.

Astarion isn’t sure that he’s particularly interested in a celebration anymore, but he knows if he simply disappears, Liv will follow. So he resolves to put up with the celebration for at least an hour or until he can find a moment to sneak away without her noticing.

As their group enters the tavern, it is filled with many familiar faces. Harpers, Fist, and Guild members alike. At one point, a man jumps on a table and yells, “It’s the heroes of Baldur’s Gate!” Their group is immediately swarmed by people thanking them, handing them drinks, and pressing a touch too close for Astarion’s liking. Originally, Liv sticks close to him, seemingly trying to provide a buffer between him and the insistence of the crowd. When it becomes clear that most of the attention is focused on her, Jaheira, and Minsc, she pulls away with an apologetic glance.

“There’s a corner over there that looks rather unoccupied. I think we could claim it,” Gale says, voice tinged with exhaustion.

Astarion doesn’t need to be told twice, but he waits for Halsin to go first. The crowd parts easily for the gigantic druid, and Astarion follows in his wake, glad to not have to force his own way through the crowd. In two hundred years, he’s not sure he’s ever seen the Elfsong quite this crowded.

“Quite the party,” Shadowheart comments as she sits down at the table.

“Doesn’t seem so much a party as an excuse to get extremely inebriated,” Gale says, watching a group of swaying Fists who have decided to sing a rather bawdy tune very off-key.

“People’s friends and family members were turned into mind flayers before their eyes today. To witness such an act against nature, to have to kill someone you once knew…they deserve a little celebration,” Halsin says.

“And so do we,” Astarion says loudly, as a full tray of drinks arrives courtesy of very grateful citizens.

He finds entertainment for a while, as he sits in the corner watching his his companions awkwardly accept thanks and gratitude. People absolutely stumble over themselves, treating them like they’re some great heroes of the realm. Astarion supposes they sort of are. His best efforts to brush off anyone that seems too below his notice is met not with offense, but a joking sort of laughter, as if he must be kidding when he tries to be dismissive. The more empty words are heaped over to him, the more the party becomes tedious and decidedly unfun. He’s surprised by how little he wants to be here with all these people. It’s a chaotic revelry, shouldn’t this be exactly what he wants? Exactly what he enjoys?

But it’s doing nothing for him this evening. He’s annoyed by the empty praise and the genuine gratitude. Honestly, he doesn’t give a shit about any of these people. He might have helped save the city, but he hadn’t done it for them. Not really. But he can’t say any of that, even if he wants to.

So, he slips away at the first opportunity. Hugging the wall to avoid having to wade through the thick of the crowd. He catches sight of Liv on his way to the stairs. She is all smiles beside her brother, talking animatedly to some important-looking person he doesn’t recognize. Liv is finally getting the sort of recognition she deserves. He’s barely made it to the the second landing when he hears his name.

“Don’t tell me you’re sneaking up here and not taking me with you,” Liv says, rushing up the stairs behind him.

“I didn’t want to pull you away from your adoring public,” he says with a smile and an elaborate gesture back downstairs.

“I’ve been trying to find a good excuse to sneak away for the last twenty minutes,” she admits. “I thought this would be the sort of chaos you’d enjoy.”

He shrugs. “Just as surprised as you are, darling. But go, enjoy. I’ll be up here, cleaning up, resting, and generally trying to ignore the very loud party ongoing downstairs.”

“How would you feel about some company?”

He pauses, pretending to consider. “I could be persuaded. Don’t you think that two heroes of Baldur’s Gate have probably earned themselves a free private room though?”

Liv grins. “Even if they haven’t, I know where they keep the keys, and I will threaten to fireball anyone who tries to stop me. I need a night of sleep that doesn’t include Minsc’s snoring.”

“Can you even cast a fireball right now?”

Liv tilts her head. “Are you wanting to find out?”

He laughs. “Absolutely, but I’m rather more interested in the other things you can do…”

She shoves him playfully before heading back down the stairs. “I’ll be back,” she says over her shoulder, smile brilliant.

He can’t help the grin on his own face. It’s over. They’ve survived. While he waits, he slips into the large room they’ve been sharing with their companions and quickly grabs a few of their things before returning to the hall.

A moment later, she returns triumphant, key in hand. “No fireballs necessary?”

“Not at all.”

“How disappointing,” he replies with a grin.

“Saves energy for my other talents,” she winks as she unlocks the door, revealing a small, rather cramped room. There’s a bed and a tub and a desk, and not a lot else. But it is theirs for the night.

He shuts the door behind them and then reaches for her, pulling her into his arms. She fits against him easily, warm and steady. He breathes her in letting the familiarity, the sense of safety, wash over him. It’s over, and they’re here, and he’s grateful.

She pulls away first, and he restrains his disappointment, but she doesn’t go far, bringing a hand up to cup his cheek. He leans into the soft touch; her eyes are soft. “Are you alright?”

“But of course,” he replies automatically. “The brain is defeated, and we’re being hailed as heroes of the realm, why wouldn’t I be alright?”

She gives him a knowing look. “Because you can’t walk in the sun. Because we’re free, but you’re the only one who lost something.”

“I won’t lie, I had rather hoped that some of the protections would be permanent, but I wouldn’t change a thing. I’ve gained so much more than I’ve lost,” he says. He means it. “I’m free of the parasite - free of Cazador. I’ll never be in someone’s power again, and all it cost was my life in the sun. Now, I belong to the shadows.”

“We’re going to find a way for you to walk in the sun again,” she says the words, so earnestly, so sure. He wants to believe them.

“You - do you think it’s possible? I suppose there is a chance. And if there’s a chance, no matter how small, I’m going to take it,” he says. She is still full of surprises, even now. “I can’t help but notice that you said ‘we’...Is that what you want? Is this what you want? I would understand if you wanted to go your own way.”

He doesn’t expect her to walk away now, but there is something about offering a way out, about making sure this is her deliberate choice that is important to him. And despite feeling like he already knows her answer, a tiny bit of anxiety rises, as if he needs to hold his breath for her answer.

“I’m sure. I love you,” she says.

He laughs. “Good because selfless as I am, I really didn’t want to let you go. We’re rather excellent together, you know.”

She presses onto her tiptoes to kiss him, and he wraps his arms around her tightly, holding her to him, anchoring them both in this moment. He’s still not entirely sure he believes this moment is real, that the danger has really, finally passed. Sometimes he worries he will close his eyes and find himself back at in the kennels, in that wreck of a house, all of these adventures some waking dream. And yet…her lips are soft and gently insistent, pulling him back to here and now.

Liv pulls away with a wrinkle of her nose. “We are both in desperate need of a good bath.”

It’s true. “And then?”

Liv pauses, some emotion rising in her. Her eyes glisten a bit, but she’s smiling. “Whatever we want.”

And there it is: freedom.

#astarion #astarion x tav #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #bg3 fanfiction #astarion x liv #bright lost things #slothquisitorwrites

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starseneyes · 1 year

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Chenford REWIND - Lucy Chen / Tim Bradford - The Rookie - Season 3 Eps 4, 5, & 6

This chunking out is very intentional on my part, much as I was with Eps 1, 2, & 3. Look, 4 and 5 show Tim and Lucy partnering up (as in a "partnership") more than I feel like they had previous to this. They had a shared mission. And with that shared mission, they developed a rapport that was shaken and tested in episode 6.

In short: This is gonna be quite the ride.

SPOILER ALERT: Standard warning that there are spoilers afoot. Yes, I know that's not what that word means. As I am the Meta writer, I reserve the right to be a bit weird at times. It's my way. But, know that I do try to write these without foreknowledge. Spoiling the eps and everything that came before is fair game, though.

If you're ready (and I'm more than ready), let's dive in.

"Sabotage" AKA Beastie Boys is Stuck in My Head

"Only Bradford and Chen are in the know about this. I'm gonna assign you all to the same sector. So every time you and Stanton take a call, they will be automatically filled in."

Lucy and Tim are teaming up to help Jackson, and I low-key love it. Think about it, Jackson must have told Lucy about Tim backing him up with Grey. That's huge. If Lucy was proud of her TO future husband already, she's about to be bursting with pride.

This also signifies the first real team-up of Tim and Lucy. As much as Tim protests their partnership, this episode and the next really highlight how naturally they fall into that rhythm.

Jackson and Lucy have very little time left as Rookies, sure, but Tim said previously that the last month of her training was going to be even more intense. Jackson's issues with Stanton derail that a bit, and allows us to glimpse Tim and Lucy at a more equal footing than we've ever seen them.

Yes, Lucy has stood up to him. She doesn't let him walk all over her. She's always stood her ground when it mattered. But this episode is the start of a string of give-and-take between them that we haven't seen before.

"Seward and Waring. Let's go." "Relax, we can't be too obvious."

We. Did you say WE. We!!! We!! We have a WE!!

Yes, I'm being ridiculous, but it's Season 3, and I can only imagine how all y'all Day 1 shippers were able to hold out so long.

But this also backs up my assertion that there's a "partnership" to this episode and the next that stands out from the past. "We" are on this assignment together.

And, yes, I know that every time they go out together there's an implied "we", but Tim is very quick to separate their roles so often that it's refreshing to see the inclusive language.

"This is so unfair to Jackson." "I know. Having to ride next to a guy hoping he doesn't cross the line. I can't imagine what that's like." "I can."

That look says "What do you mean?" Because she hasn't ridden next to a lot of other people, so Tim's wondering how she could possibly mean him.

"Look, my first day as a Rookie, I thought you were gonna be my Doug." "Excuse me? How am I anything like that guy?"

This is our proxy. For the human being who isn't spouting off racial slurs and being overtly discriminatory, it can be difficult to turn the mirror on ourselves and see the blind-spots in our own understanding of racism.

I'm not going to get on my soap box (because, I have a lot to say), but I want to highlight the roles, here. Tim is the one representing many of us who may be blind to the way racism is ingrained in ourselves and our society.

Tim is a good man who doesn't realize there are some not-great things in his choices. We'll get into that later, but the point is that Tim has some learning to do. He needs some blind spots illuminated. And, like in so many other cases, Lucy is the light-bringer.

"Do you remember our first day out?" ... "So, what. I'm a bad cop now?"

Too often Tim sees things in black and white when the reality is that life is more grey, most of the time. He thinks you're a good cop or a bad cop. But, he's a good cop who has made some bad calls, and that's more complex, and harder for Tim to grapple with.

This is not to say that Tim is stupid. Not at all. But we've seen how he shuts out the world entirely. He's an all-or-nothing personality, and he's lived a long time believing the worst in everything and everyone.

Think about how he blames himself for everything that goes wrong around him. It's part of that "all-or-nothing" personality trait, because he sees himself too often as nothing. He struggles to see his own worth because he's operated for so long with the assumption that he lacks it.

Lucy is trying to help him investigate himself and draw out the good and address the bad. Classic psychology stuff, but very difficult for Tim. It's hard for him to admit mistakes when he thinks he's in the right in his job because his job has been the only place where he has felt he held value.

And now he has to consider that he hasn't always done right in the one place where he felt good about himself. This is tough stuff. But we need him to go through it. Because he needs to grow.

"Not at all. But that was a bad stop. How do you think those men felt about that interaction with you? You think it was a positive experience?" "I'm not looking for 5 star Yelp reviews. I've got a job to do." "Well, so did they."

Lucy's being the calm, rational one. It's easy to be calm and rational when you're not the one who screwed up. It's never fun owing up to a mistake, right? But it's even worse when seen through the lens of racism.

Tim has to evaluate this moment, and that can cascade to so many other moments... moments where he made the wrong call. Moments he didn't realize he was in the wrong.

"They were just trying to get to work. And then... they met you." "Excessive and unnecessary use of the horn is against the law. Plus they had several vehicle violations."

He's rationalizing. He's trying to remind himself that he's a good cop, that he wasn't doing anything against the law. But "wrong" and "law" don't always overlap. Like, folks hiding Jews during World War II were breaking the law, but absolutely in the right.

Similarly, you can be following the letter of the law, but still be outside of what is right. Tim's finding himself in that murky place for the first time.

"I could have impounded their truck." "And that justifies you terrorizing them?" "Terrorizing?" "Yeah."

It's the same word she used for Stanton and the Black family he terrorized. Tim doesn't see himself as the same at all, but it's striking a nerve.

"Really? That's it. You know, don't say another word to me. We're done with this conversation."

Tim isn't shutting this down because he's angry. It's easy to think that, I know, but if you look at Season 2 Tim shutting down Lucy talking about his learning disability, you see it for what it really is—Tim's uncomfortable.

This is making him uncomfortable, and discussing it further isn't productive. He knows himself well enough to know that. But the wheels don't stop turning after the discussion.

"Are you still mad at me?" "I'm not mad." "Really? Because you look mad. At least, madder than usual."

He's not mad, Lucy. He's grumpy. But, I'll admit, the first time I saw this, I thought he was mad, too.

"Okay, I'm not mad. But I am upset."

Here we go...

"I knew it." "At myself."

Lucy was not expecting that and I wasn't, either, the first time through! But I think both me and my on-screen bestie are pleasantly surprised by her future husband, here.

"You're right. I used the situation with the gardeners without thinking about the impact I had on them. I can't undo it, but I can make sure I never do it, again."

Remember, Tim is the Proxy, and this is the blueprint. He's showing us how to acknowledge the past, stop making excuses for it because we were in the wrong and we're no longer ignoring it, and how to move forward with integrity.

For Lucy Chen, she's getting to see her man's growth in real time. Look, Season 3 has them on a more equal footing socially, even if not professionally. They are friends who respect one another's opinions and thoughts.

Lucy isn't guiding Tim through this. All she had to do was hold up the mirror, and he took care of the rest. Not everyone is like that, of course, but it's refreshing for her to see. She's used to Tim being "old school" and "set in his ways". So, seeing him choose to grow is a beautiful thing.

"That's progress. I'm proud of you." "I'm thrilled."

Tim's trying to play it off like it doesn't mean anything, but we know the truth... he cares about how Lucy sees him. Throughout their year together as TO and Rookie, she has gotten into his heart in a very real way. No, it's not romantic, yet. But it's meaningful.

Lucy's is one of the few opinions that matters to Tim.

And Lucy in this scene is tremendous. We're already a far cry from her frustrations with Tim's excuses. Because he's done making excuses—for himself and other people.

I love the physical contact she uses to affirm her affection (again, not romantic... an open-palmed arm-touch is rarely an invitation to a carnal knowledge seminar for two. But, look at the way she looks at him when he turns away.

Tell me Lucy Chen will never feel anything for this man after she looked at him like that. You can't. There's no way.

Because as she looks upon him, seeing the growth in real-time, admiring the commitment he's made, finding more common ground with him... it's deepening the connection.

"The porch pirate is a doggy?"

This. Read. KILLS. Me. Every time I'm laughing so hard I'm about to wake one of the kids. Melissa O'Neil's timing is choice, we know, but her read on this one is above and beyond. Oh, it slays me!

"Who is under arrest?"

Yes, this whole seen is a laugh, but I love the little "Can you believe this guy?" look Tim gives Lucy as the suspect tries to change his tune. It's Tim looking to Lucy hoping she'll see the expression on this face.

He's giving more in Season 3. He's initiating more with her that's friendly and borderline flirty. And I love it.

"Hey, what's the deal with Jackson? Kid's questioning all my stops." "Sound like the marks of a good student." "I don't see you letting Chen question your every move."

Lemme stop you right there because you missed this entire day where Lucy was questioning Tim's moves by calling him on his shit. But, yeah, of course you don't see it because you're not on their calls. Numbnuts.

Look, I'm not going to waste creative names on this toolbag. He gets bare minimum effort from me.

PAUSE: But Brandon Routh gets lots of love from me. Long story short, last year, my Autistic/ADHD son got to meet him at a convention. His rendition of Superman is the only one that has gotten my boy through countless dental episodes.

My Middle is Superman-obsessed and when BR asked him, "What was your favorite part?" he breathlessly exclaimed, "Everything" and meant it with every ounce of his being.

Brandon Routh treated my boy with such dignity, care, and kindness. I spent so much of that day at the convention trying to help my Middle navigate everything, but with BR it was effortless because of the space he created for my son. So, all the love to the actor.

But his character can fuck right off.

"Maybe the issue isn't the student, it's the teacher."

Tim's pissed and barely contained. He's seeing things in a different light, with Lucy's help, and now that he's seeing clearly, he's locked in. It's not that he never noticed, but that he let them slide by before they could stick out. He's done with that.

But the introspection Tim was able to achieve with Lucy is because he was willing to learn. Willing to see that he'd screwed up. That's not Stanton. Stanton's immediate thought is of Lopez and he spends zero on self-introspection.

Change isn't possible if you aren't willing to self-examine.

Lucy At Tim's Desk

Have we ever seen her sit so casually with him? I love it. It's giving me Castle vibes, oddly enough, even though that's where the comparisons end. But, I do love having them together at his desk, because it's showing even more that these two are a unit in this string of episodes.

Yes, I know they ride together all the time. But not like this. There are no Tim Tests in these episodes. There's no lecturing (at least in episodes 4 & 5).

Lucy and Tim are united on a mission to protect Jackson, and in these last few weeks of her Probationary period, that's taken precedence.

Which should show all of us just how seriously Tim Bradford is taking this whole thing. It's growth.

And Tim and Lucy's conversation gives us more exposition. We now know why this has to be done so delicately, so carefully.

When I worked in news way back in the day, I was sent to a two-day seminar with the local police department, including an intimate look at their Internal Affairs procedures and why they were put into place. I won't go into details, but it was grim.

The layers and layers of red tape may be protection, but they can also be an unearned shield. Stanton is using it as the latter.

The Former Rookie

I'm not going to recap every bit of this scene, but I have to say that I love that Tim is taking this so seriously that he's trying to find different angles for his approach. It's completely in-character, and I love how it adds to the story, here.

Does this end up hurting things? Yes. That's part of story-telling and, frankly, part of life. Sometimes the best intentions end up making things worse.

Tim Has Jackson's Back

And Jackson knows it. Look, Lucy is still Tim's Rookie, and Jackson is still a Rookie, but Tim's no longer playing the power lines like he did in first season. And this is all because of Lucy.

Lucy is the one who connects people. She bridges people. She brings them together. I can think of so many Future Instances where folks are in the same room all because of Lucy.

Tim and Jackson had a casual relationship that primarily consisted of Tim threatening Jackson if he let anything happen to Lopez, and Jackson asking for the odd bits of advice. But now Tim has Jackson's back. That's huge.

Before in Grey's office, Tim stepped in because he knew his voice held weight. He knew it would help. He made the call to try to be a part of the solution instead of looking the other way one more time.

And even though Jackson (and Lucy) can't wait to be TO-free, it's good to have an officer like Tim on your side. Someone with a spotless record. Someone who is so often senior officer in a situation. Someone who is finally working on themselves with a gentler touch.

FAST FORWARD: There's so much I can say about 4x01 and how a lot of that was set up in these episodes, drawing Tim more in with the Rookies, solidifying a connection between Jackson and Tim, and Lucy being the bridge to the two. I don't want to divert too much attention, but I will say the impact of all that is greater because of how it was earned.

"Lockdown" AKA Game over, bitch

"He gave Jackson a blue page?" "It's not your fault." "Of course it is."

Lucy knows Tim. Remember, Tim tried to say that we couldn't truly know other people, but she knows him. Before he even said anything, she knows he's carrying the guilt. Like he did with her, with Mitch. He blames himself because of the trauma he carries.

And, sure, it's easy to say, "I made Choice A, and that caused Choice B to happen". But, it's far more complex than that. Because, had Asswipe been a man of integrity, Choice B would never have happened.

Because Choice B would have happened at some point, even without Choice A, in this scenario. Even if Tim had never contacted the former Rookie, Jackson would have gotten a blue page someday. It was only a matter of time.

Tim is missing that key component—he's not responsible for the choices of others.

"Oh, uh, de-escalate. We do not want to make things worse for Jackson." "Hey, Stanton, you ever want to brush up on arrest-control techniques, I'm available."

Did Lucy straight up leave the suspect to follow Tim!? I was rolling the first time I watched Lucy chasing after Tim.

Wifey's trying to keep her husband from losing his cool on the neighbor who likes to leave his dog's shit in everyone else's yard then point the fingers at them as though it's their fault.

"We are on duty, so, come on."

Lucy even touches his arm to try to get through to him, to de-escalate this whole situation.

"Aw, that's sweet. Your hot little Boot's trying to rescue you."

"The fuck did you say?" Lucy's look is twofold. First off, yes, she's hot and short, but that's not who she is, you objectifying Walking Feces Coil.

Second, don't imply Tim needs Lucy to save her. She has full confidence in her man to handle himself if it came to it. She wasn't here because she was worried about Tim. She was worried about Jackson who is defenseless against this monster.

But she can't say that. And the more she stands next to this Sentient Turd, the more she feeds off of his asshole energy—matching it in intensity.

"You're the one that's gonna need rescuing." "Are you threatening me?" "Oh, I'm just saying I I have a great hair-pull take-down that I have been dying to try."

Stanton doesn't even know what to say to that. He's not used to having his authority questioned by a Boot. And Tim does nothing to stop it, from Stanton's point of view.

But, we know Tim putting a hand on Lucy, and guiding her away is a big deal. Like, she'll touch his arm every so often in this era, but Tim's fairly hands-off with Lucy. But right here? He mimics her techniques to try to calm her down.

"Alright, Boot. Come on. We got a suspect to book."

In a strange way, I think Lucy being the one to lose her cool was what got Tim back on track. It's his job to train her, reel her in, and give her guidance. And the second she was the one with the pent-up rage, he was able to switch gears.

And. How. Fucking. Perfect. Are. They?!

Because we all need someone in our lives who can balance us out when we're spiraling. There are times when the weight of everything I'm carrying gets too much, and Matthew will wordlessly hold me. And there are times I see the stress bottling up too much within him, and I'll give him the space he needs to reset.

The best relationships are all about give-and-take. As far as foundations go, I'd say Tim and Lucy are on their way.

"What happened to 'de-escalate, we don't want to make things harder for Jackson'?" "I don't know. That was super weird. I feel like I had a testosterone contact high."

I fully believe people have energy within and around them, and Lucy was responding to Stanton's. Like, it would be fun to say, "She was defending her man!" But, really, Lucy is more likely to hold Tim back from beating the crap out of someone than to shield him from them.

One of my best friends has a brother. Let's call him "Joe". Now, Joe and I apparently both have reps for being the sweetest people who love to bring others together and help them have fun. We. Can't. Stand. Each. Other. And we don't know why.

Like, we're Facebook friends. We line up a lot in terms of politics, ideologies, raising our kids. We respect one another and each think the other is a good person. But something about our energies in the same room is toxic and it sets us both off. We have no idea why!

So, Lucy feeding off Stanton's energy (and some of Tim's, too) and being set off by it it completely relatable to me.

"Alright, keep in close contact with Jackson today. If they call for backup of any kind, we're there." "Agreed."

Agreed!? Agreed!? This is slaying me, and only folks who've made it to 5x10 will know why. But it's always a good thing when one of these two says, "Agreed".

I love the synchronized look back and they way Tim keeps leaning into the inclusive language. This is partnership stuff.

"Damn it. We got to get out there. Guys like Doug don't like being backed into a corner."

Lucy thought pulling the Dad card was a good move, but Tim's been around these guys a lot longer. He's been making excuses for them his entire career, military and police, right? That's roughly 20 years or so, so he realizes this is bad.

And Lucy doesn't question it. She recognizes this isn't a time when she needs to wonder about Tim's motives. There are no tests involved. Because there's nothing but sincerity in his actions.

When Tim stepped into that office to stand alongside Jackson, he crossed a threshold into a part of himself that will always be there from now on. He was always seen as a man of integrity, but he had this horrible blind spot. No more.

"I lost Jackson. We got separated."

Bitch, you're not fooling anyone. Tim goes around Stanton and Lucy doesn't even acknowledge him. No one's believing this fool's mouth.

Body Cam Bitch

Jackson plays quite possibly the most ingenious play considering the circumstances. He's been badly beaten. He's got his TO over him pulling the "partner" card when that ass is the one who allowed this to happen.

Lucy is trying to take care of her roommate and best friend while Tim gets on the radio, immediately calling for help, giving details so the paramedics are ready to leap into action as soon as they arrive.

Stanton's faking concern. If he really cared, this wouldn't have happened. If they really had been separated and he was just coming upon Jackson... he still wouldn't be the one on the radio. We know that.

He hovers above Jackson and only one word slips through Jackson's lips, because he wants Stanton to know what's coming. "Camera."

And Jackson Turns. The. Camera. Back. On. BOOM! Two minutes of inaction caught on tape and available for Grey (and everyone else) to witness.

It never. should. have. come. to. this. Our system is so badly broken, and it's hard to know where to begin. We're doing our best to correct our own blind spots, to help the children avoid forming them in the first place, and to live lives that aren't just "not racist" but are anti-racist.

But I wish there was more I could do to rework this entire broken system.

"I've seen enough. On me."

And Tim gets to be backup for the take-down. Tim, who turned a blind eye too many times has rerouted himself, and now gets to be a part of stripping this asshole of his power.

"Back off." "Give me a reason."

Because Tim is in the right. And Ass-wipe is in the wrong.

Told you I wasn't going creative on his names. He doesn't deserve them.

"Revelations" AKA 90's Fashion, UC-Style

"Listen, I have to write a paper for school about gender roles int he workplace, and I'm supposed to interview someone who's working a job that was traditionally considered male." "And you want to interview... me?"

Lucy's daughter is hanging at her place for the first time! Right? And Lucy is making her daughter food and talking. Oh! This makes my heart so happy.

Because Lucy's family has been so un-supportive of her, I love watching her build her Found Family.

"If you're not busy." "I would be honored."

Tamara's taking after Tim here, again, just a little. I mentioned before that when she asked if there were any other dumb questions (when she met her future adoptive mom and dad) that she took after Tim, there.

I think she also takes after Tim with her absolute lack of trust. She likes Lucy. She's been warming up to Lucy. But, she still doesn't trust her fully. So, she plays it off as if it's not a big deal, but we know it's a huge deal.

"Only 10 more days until no TOs."

Lucy is so ready to be done being Tim's Rookie. To get to make her own decisions. But I do think this year has been important for her. We've seen her grow a lot, and those of us from the future know that'll be addressed when she crosses the finish line.

"What kind of classes do they teach?" "No idea. Patrol isn't allowed to know UC trade secrets. So I just ordered Room Service, worked on my tan."

Tim. Tanning. I don't know why, but the thought of Tim feeling comfortable lying around, doing nothing is so jarring. It really speaks to how much more relaxed he must have been during the "good years" of his marriage.

Also, I'm betting Tim was sunning next to a pool and not going in. If the dude's cautious about the ocean's muck, I don't blame him for not going in a pool, either. Children pee in them. Like, all the time.

"You bastard, you get prettier with age." ... "Lucy Chen, Mack Daniels."

Tim is beaming to see Mack, and from the way they greet one another, it looks like they've known one another a while, and that smiley Tim was normal back then.

Tim casually introduces Mack to Lucy, too. No identifying her as a Rookie or even as an officer. Mack is a friend, and Lucy is, too. And I love that we get to see him introducing her as such. It really shows the growth.

"What are you on?" "It's just a little oxy."

Tim knows what this looks like. He knows all too well... and he doesn't want to see another person in his life crash and burn.

Lucy can see how tense Tim is, how worried. She's very in tune to Tim at this point, and she knows more about Isabel than most.

"He seems... nice." "Yeah, believe it or not, he used to be the most clean-cut guy I ever met."

Tim's mind is reeling, because he's not just looking at Mack. He's looking at Isabel, at his memories, at all the things he should've done and didn't. At all the ways he believes he failed her.

He's hoping he's wrong. But Tim's not the best at "hope".

"Chen, though you were running to the bathroom."

As if he didn't have enough reminders of Isabel at this thing, now he sees his Rookie sneaking a peek at the seminar that he told her had trade secrets.

Notice, too, how he defaulted to "Chen" when he called her out. He's not approaching her as a friend, but trying to guide her as a TO away from a path that he thinks is wrong for her.

And, let's be clear, no one is in charge of Lucy's ultimate path but her. But Tim thinks he is helping. He thinks he is protecting her. This isn't done out of malice, but from a genuine place.

But genuine, seemingly kind things can still be the wrong things.

"So, you were spying on one of the seminars." "No." *look* "Maybe a little bit."

Lucy, honey, no. He was standing right behind you. Did you think you were wearing an invisibility cloak?

That you distorted the Matrix long enough for him to miss you standing right there with the door open looking like me and my little brother during one of mom's "Adult Parties" where we had to hang out in the hallway? Come on!

Plus, that knowing look from Tim is giving me 5x10 "No you're not" vibes because he knows her (and he freakin' saw her).

"Seriously? You're not going to give her a heads-up?" "No way I'm getting in the middle of that."

Tim! You don't want to get involved because you think that'll make it easier? Better? For who? I get it, it's "none of your business". But Beth was your friend. As was Mack. Sure, you can let them have it out, but sometimes getting involved is what moves the needle. Sometimes getting involved is how change happens.

Think of all the times Lucy got involved with Tim's issues when she didn't need to.

You can argue she was sticking her nose in where it wasn't welcome... but recording books for him helped him pass the Sergeant's exam. Telling him off when he was considering helping Isabel helped remind him who he was. Yes, Lucy oversteps a lot where Tim is concerned... but he's better for it.

So I can see why she thinks he should get involved. But I also get his perspective and why he wants to hang back. He hates people getting into his business (looking at you, Lucy Chen), so he doesn't want to do it to someone else.

Lucy Spots the VIN Photographer

I love that Lucy was the one to spy it, they put it together as a team, and then got to work as a team. It really feels like a continuation of the more "partnership" vibe of the last two episodes.

"Tim. Narcan."

Lucy Chen, super hero just waltzes in with what he needs. They are so in sync right now. She tosses and he grabs it and gets back to work on Mack.

These two both have really good aim with tossing and catching things. Someone should talk to them about joining the NYPD baseball league, if they have one. *wink*

"You downed opioid with whiskey. Alright? That is not pain management. That is a problem.

Exactly. Tim's calling Mack out. Yes, he did it before, but he took the lie hoping it was truth. Damnit,Tim hoped. And look how it turned out.

"... I know addicts lie so much they don't know what's true anymore." "Hey, I'm not your ex-wife." "Really? 'Cause from where I'm standing you look exactly like Isabel. Look, I'm not going to make the same mistake I did with her."

Tim's still blaming himself for what happened with Isabel. He blamed himself for Mitch. He blamed himself for Lucy. It's a pattern of his.

But this. This is new. Tim is taking a step outside of his comfort zone and addressing this issue head on.

He's had practice, the last few weeks, addressing an issue head-on that he used to let slide. We're seeing the long-term effects of that starting to play out. Tim's done letting things slide.

As Tim is watching another UC in his circle burn out, Lucy is in the parking garage taking her first steps toward that profession... and Tim will fear... that path.

"So, you know we're going to have to talk about it, right?" "Look, it was a momentary lapse in judgment, and Tim has already scolded me for listening in, but I gotta say, um, what I heard at your seminar was amazing."

This isn't a passing fancy for Lucy. This isn't Emmett-level interest. When it comes to UC, this is Tim-level (someday) interest. Lucy is committed to this idea more and more. It's what she wants, and as soon as she sinks her teeth into it, she won't let go.

And, yes, you're not the only one picturing her sinking her teeth into Tim right now, but we're nowhere near that with these two... yet.

"I actually, I have time for drinks right now, if you want."

This is a vote of confidence, and a far cry from the Speed Dating incident. Nyla is sincere on both points, and Lucy knows it.

"I have a homework thing with Tamara. She won't mind if we do it a little bit later."

Lucy thinks she's still going to make it after drinks. So, I applaud her for calling Tamara and rescheduling.

The problem is that Lucy still doesn't have the ability to multi-task her life. As we can see later in this same scene, she doesn't take into account how long a side mission is going to take compared to a few drinks in town. It doesn't even cross her mind.

Look, I love Lucy, but we all have places to grow as humans. And each character on this show has an arc. Tim's is more apparent, sometimes, because he had the furthest to go. We met him when he was at the bottom of himself.

Lucy is in better shape in a lot of ways, but she still has a lot of growth to do. She has a lot of developing to do in solidifying herself as an individual who stands without the approval of others, she needs to learn how to balance work and home life, and she needs to believe in herself.

We get a small reminder of that through her failing Tamara tonight.

Because, look, before the baddie showed up, she was still talking to June and it was still going to be a bit. I don't think they added time in dealing with the baddies. Lucy simply dropped the ball.

But, I'm getting ahead of myself...

"I was about to go out for drinks with a colleague of mine, Lucy Chen."

First Tim introduced her at a "friend" level, and now Nyla's calling Lucy a "colleague." Just a few episodes at the range, Nyla was quick to call Lucy "Rookie". But the barriers are starting to fall. Season 3 has shown the lines separating TO and Rookie are blurring.

And. I. Love. That. Because it creates that sense of community before they cross the Finish Line. We all know that Nolan will be left behind when Lucy and Jackson get there.

But he won't be left out of the community because they've built it separate from a graduation celebration. These are more than just TOs and Rookies. They are more than cops. They are people who care about one another, on and off the job.

"... we're gonna have to take a rain-check on our drinks, but-" "Totally." "Unless you wanna come with."

Fuck, yeah! I mean, "Yeah, sure." Right? Because Lucy's not going to turn down the change to jump right into the action! We already saw that she's not afraid of rabbit holes after everything she's survived, so bring. it. on.

Also, fans of the final scene of 5x08 might see a little similarity in Lucy's "surprise" face. Right!? I can't be the only one seeing it!

I hereby dub this Lucy's, "My dreams are coming true!?!" face.

"You're the chemist. She's the chemist."

That's. My. WOMAN! Look at my girl coming out here in the blink of an eye, unflinching, jumping into character without a second thought because she knows it's what's needed. BOOM!

"I can't believe we just did that."

Lucy's nerves are shaking out because, damn, that was terrifying. Like, she didn't get to go into that situation with the armor of being a cop. She had to be a quick-thinker to stay alive.

And. She. Did. It. Nyla and June got to see it up-close. Lucy's a badass.

"Look, give me another chance. Tonight. I promise I'll be there." "Okay. Sure."

Look, Tamara has been burned. A lot. Like Tim, she doesn't trust people, and it takes a lot to get through. She put herself out there to Lucy, and Lucy. didn't. show. That hurts.

So, while Tamara wants to trust Lucy, last night is a reminder of why she doesn't trust people, as a rule. They only disappoint you.

But, like her someday-adoptive-father, Tamara will come to trust Lucy. And come to open up a bit more to the idea that there is some good in this world.

"I just wanted to make sure you saw the repercussions. He's going to lose his pension." "Yeah, I-I struggled with that. But it's what I should have done with Isabel."

It's heartbreaking, the effects of addiction. The unintended consequences.

I know this all too well. Last December we lost my husband's 5-year-old great-nephew after they believe he got into his mother's fentanyl. This was not even two years after my husband's nephew overdosed on the same drug.

But, let me say, while we're on the subject—addicts need help. They need people like Tim who are willing to do the right thing, who wants Mack to go to rehab and get clean. Get sober.

I'm not taking a position as judge, here. Not at all.

But, Tim's right. You can't have a guy with a gun running around blitzed out of his mind. It's not right. Mack needs to get help and get clean.

This is not an easy decision. But after everything he went through with Jackson and Stanton... after everything he's been through with Isabel... Tim is prepared to make this decision. And Grey stands in agreement.

"Chen's going on a special assignment today. She'll be joining Harper on an undercover operation."

Ooooh, he's mad. He's pissed.

It's been One Day. ONE. Tim just caught her looky-loo'ing, and now he finds out she's already on an op!? What the hell, Grey!?

The Op

Tim slips up to the open door (guess it's not-so-secret inside the building) and crosses his arms, defensive, as he leans against the door frame.

I find it fascinating that Lucy's actually out-of-focus on this. Tim's in sharp focus. And he's pissed.

"But last night all our hard work almost fell apart, until the quick thinking of Officer Chen saved my ass."

We're establishing for everyone in that room that she's a badass. They need to know that she's got what it takes, and that it's their job to make sure she does her job without getting killed.

"Chen, stand up so they can see what you're wearing."

Ah, the uniform of my people. Babies of the 80's and 90's had a thing for Jean Jackets. I've had a few in my time. When I was a kid, you had to put buttons on them, too.

Tim turns around so everyone can see her, so they know what their UC is wearing, and that she's not one of the baddies.

When she turns, she spies Tim leaning in the doorway. Asserting his attitude with those arms crossed, scowling at her the whole time.

The smile she was wearing falls away. She knows the cut of that look.

"What the hell are you doing?"

Tim waited. He was polite. But as soon as the briefing is over, he's in Harper's face. Post-DOD he stayed out of the way. But, he's even more protective of Lucy, now.

And it's not romantic. It's not territorial. Tim once failed her, and he's silently vowed to himself to never do it, again. He looks at this situation, and he feels like Lucy's being manipulated that she doesn't fully understand what she's gotten into.

And, frankly, he's not giving her enough credit. If the two of them talked this out, he might see it from her point of view. But, he's too clouded by what happened yesterday with Mack that's sent him right back to everything he went through with Isabel.

"You can't pit an untrained probationary officer against one of the most dangerous crime syndicates in California."

June is listening in with interest. Yeah, you're new here, but I bet you mighta noticed Tim's kinda protective of Lucy.

"I don't want to hear it, Tim. She volunteered."

Tim looks over to Lucy and she can't even look him in the eye. Of all people she knows how he feels about UC, and he can't believe she's serious about this. But she wants what she wants for her life. She's not going to live hers because of what happened to someone else.

That's part of the gift Tim gave her through his (sometimes unorthodox) training year with her. She's learning not to second-guess herself. And she wants this. Indirectly, her going after what she wants here is Tim's fault. So, good job, Tim. You're mad at yourself.

"Grey authorized it, and we have some of the best operational expertise she could ask for." "They know the gladiator care you're walking into. You don't. That's not volunteering. That's being used."

He really is worried about her. He really does have her best interests in mind. He knows he can't pull her from this op. But he had to say it. He had to try to protect her the only way he could.

And, yeah, there's points to what Tim has to say and points to what Nyla has to say. Lucy is untrained. But they all know she can do this. Even Tim—much as he hates this—believes she can do it.

"Hey, don't let Bradford kill your confidence, okay? His... hangups about UC work are his to deal with, not yours." "I kinda hoped that he would be proud of me. Wow, that sounds stupid when I say it out loud."

She's a grown woman. But Tim is an authority figure in her life, and she's struggled with not having support, with not having people believe in her.

Her parents believed in her so long as she stayed on their chosen path. She doesn't need a repeat with Tim. This is what she wants.

"No. It's doesn't. He's your Training Officer. He's gotten you this far. There's nothing wrong with wanting his approval."

Ohh, Nyla. I have a feeling this conversation would've gone slightly different if it was Angela, simply because she knows Chenford's history best. But, yeah, we'll go with what you said.

"You handled yourself like a pro last night. Those instincts can't be taught."

True. But instincts won't be enough forever. Progress takes work. Training. Effort. Tim's not wrong when he talks about Lucy's lack of preparation, here. He's not wrong to say she doesn't have the full picture.

Yeah, I'm conflicted. I'm proud of Lucy. I know she can do this. But, I get where Tim's coming from, too. Lucy is going a bit into the lion's den without being fully armed.

"I know you're worried about Lucy." "Who said I was worried?"

Dude. You may be closed off, but when it comes to worrying about Lucy, you're very easy to read. You forget all these people went through DOD with you. Lucy didn't see you then, but they all did. Your Lucy Worry is showing, man.

"I'm just saying, she can handle herself." "I know she can. I trained her."

But his bravado can't hide the fact that he immediately looks through his view finder. He lost her once. And, no, this isn't romantic. But it's personal. That word Tim hates so much. Lucy is personal to him, now.

"It's go time."

This is how he can protect her. He wants to be the first one to see what's going on, the first one to see the bad guy coming, the first once to call for help, if needed.

"Relax. It's just my boss. And he wants to talk... to you." "Me?"

Lucy. Meet Lion's Den... in the form of a limo.

"Why aren't we going in and arresting everybody?" "We need to see the money first."

This is for us. The audience. We need to know why they aren't rushing in to save Tim's girl.

Lucy Speaking Tagalog

That's. My. GIRL! I was fist-pumping in the air when she opened her mouth and busted that out.

Like, Mr. Baddie thinks he's going to intimidate Lucy and keep her in the dark, but she's a fucking ball of light. You can't cast a shadow dark enough to block her out.

"You speak Tagalog." "My best friend in elementary school grew up in Quezon City."

Who knows if this is true, but Lucy's quickly leaning into it. No need to give him anything more than the bare minimum to stay alive.

And Lucy. Does. Her. Homework. I'm still in shock that Nolan had a better mid-year score than her, but nerves must've been at play because she's a quick study and she is killing it.

The Arrest

Tim bee-lines for Lucy. Anyone who knows them knows he's gotta be the one. He's all about tangibles, right? And being the one to touch her, to guide her, to walk with her... that'll help assure him she's alright.

"You okay?" *nods*

He wants to hear it from her, that nothing bad happened to her in that limo when she was out of sight, that she hasn't been re-traumatized.

And, golly, he doesn't think she's fragile. He doesn't think she's a porcelain doll. He knows she's one of the strongest, toughest people he's ever known. But, he does worry. He does care.

"You did good."

Because she can do this. And look at her soak it in. Look at the little aw-shucks kick she does.

The last two episodes before this, they were operating more like Partners than TO/Rookie. But as soon as she drifted toward undercover, all of those walls came flying back up between them. It was a jarring shift, and Lucy's been worried that she would lose some of his respect.

But Nyla's right... Tim's hangups are his. And he pushed through them enough to tell Lucy that she did a good job.

Lucy's been listening to her own voice, more. She didn't whither when Tim told her off. She didn't change direction. She stayed on the course she wanted. So, she's done second-guessing herself where he's concerned. But, she still wanted his approval.

And... at the end... she got it. And I don't think she even knows why it matters so much. Again, this isn't romantic. But Tim and Lucy have a special place for one another.

Just as Lucy's opinion of Tim matters, Tim's opinion of Lucy matters. They care about how one sees the other. They care about what the other thinks of them.

In life, there should be very few opinions that matter besides your own, if any. Lucy and Tim are each other's exceptions—and they don't even realize it, yet.

"I'm sorry this happened, but I didn't do it to you. Mack did."

Look. At. That. Growth. For once Tim is realizing it's not his fault. He didn't make the bad decisions. He's simply the guy who didn't look the other way. Instead, he did the right thing, even if it's the difficult one.

"You are a cop. You are supposed to look out for your own."

And here we come back to the last three episodes. Doing the right thing sometimes sucks. Tim made the decision to help Jackson and stop ignoring racism in the force. He stopped hiding behind the "good cop" label and started looking at what was really right and wrong.

Not reporting Mack would have been an issue. It would have been Tim letting something slide, again. But a high officer on the job with a weapon is not right. It can't happen. And the only way to stop it was to report it, since Mack wasn't stopping it himself.

And it sucks and it hurts. But "looking out for your own" shouldn't involve ignoring the laws that are there to protect people in the first place. Mack needs help. Tim told him that, and Mack promised to get help... but in the meantime, something had to be done.

Doing the right thing sometimes sucks.

Bad. Ass. Women.

Nyla has literally let her hair down. And I love Lucy finally being actually in with Nyla and getting to have drinks with one of the other badass women from the station.

"I think fitting in is a trap. I'm sitting between two of the best cops in the state who had to navigate an avalanche of obstacles just to get to the mountaintop. They didn't do it by trying to fit in. They did it by, you know, um, being stronger, smarter, more agile. They had to navigate a system that still believes being a girl is inherently soft or weak, as though empathy is somehow a liability. There isn't a guy in the force who can do what these guys can do. And there sure as hell isn't anyone tougher."

Yes, I transcribed all that. Because Lucy Chen is coming into her own. She's got less than 10 days until she's without a TO, and I don't think we've ever heard her so confident and determined.

Also, I love Tamara getting to see this. Getting to be a part of it. Glass of water, and all.

These three episodes were tough, and wonderful. Lucy and Tim have a very solid friendship in Season 3, and I love how the walls are coming down between the Rookies and the TOs, even before they cross the line out of probation. We're building the blocks to a beautiful relationship... someday.

As ever, thanks for reading. See you on the next!

#Chenford #Lucy Chen #Tim Bradford #The Rookie #Melissa O'Neil #Eric Winter #Meta #Lucy x Tim #Tim x Lucy

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writingtohealmytrauma · 1 month

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5/4/24

she left me 2 months ago and the pain is still so real and unbearable. 8 years of our life gone, she is now a stranger we dont talk, i want to talk so bad but she wants to move on and asked us not to message i want to talk to her everyday but i need to respect her decision's she still hasnt blocked me and i cant bring myself to block her number, not that it would do any good as i know her number off by heart, i managed to get the strength to archive our conversations so im not constantly seeing her name and our life everytime i message someone, i had been messaging her out of desperation and longing for connection with her and i can see by the read reciepts that she is seeing my message but choosing not to respond and it just hurts so much that this is clearly what she really wants and she is trying her hardest to get over me and us.

she tells me "We pushed it as far as we could" in reality she pushed it as far as she wanted. she tells me that she wants to have a family and she doesnt see a future with us after 8 years so she needs to leave me and find someone else to have a family with. she's 26 and wants to have kids before 30? so she cant waste any more time with us. i spent my life serving her, but it wasnt enough. i gave her everything. i literally made her breakfast and dinner every day for 3 years to prove my love to her, i flew her business class around the world i showed her a life she never dreamed off. i was there every day when she got home waiting to hear about her day, i ALWAYS made and had time for her always. she was my purpose i lived to serve her. all i ever wanted was to marry her, everyone use to have a go at me saying "why dont you marry her?" "hurry up and put a ring on her finger" like i was the problem? she was the one that would never commit. all i wanted was a family and life with her. I know her past trauma's have played a huge part in all of this, she come from a very broken family and has carried alot of trauma her whole life that she refused to deal with and that leaked into our relationship in so many ways. i truly believe if she had of dealt with her passed issues we would stil be here. she was not the only one to blame i also brought issues to the table but i have worked and turned myself out inside as a person to try and fix/overcome these and i feel i really did. she had an avoidance schema which was a real issue she would always run and shut off from us whenever things were hard, my mind is constantly telling me she was overwhelmed and her avoidance schema kicked in and thats why she ended it as there was no good reason to end it, weeks before she ended it she was telling me that she was finallly ready to get engaged after 8 years?? im so confused? I worry that she has realised this was an overreaction to a minor problem but her pride is stopping her from saying hey this is blown out of proportion can we try and fix this?? i would come running! i'd lay my life down to fix this, what ever it took whatever love she needed it is hers. I worry by the time she comes to this conclusion i will have moved on, not because i wanted to but because the pain is to great and i dont want to take my own life from grief. does one ever truly move on? will i still think about her in years too come? there is that weird sense of hope that we will get back together but i cant hold onto that. when we first started dating she saw a psychic (I dont believe in that stuff) but he told her that she was going to meet her partner and they would be together for life like penguins and that she would have twins with them. over the years i truly believed that and i made that a promise to myself that she was my penguin and that we would be together forever and have twins and i held onto that promise for so long, that promise got me through the hardest time in our relationship and now i feel its been broken it makes me sick to think that im not her penguin and some other man might be? she will have twins and a family with another man? makes me want to curl up and die.

It hurts so much that she wants to move on she couldnt do it anymore 8 years, meant nothing i know she wasnt in it for a long time i just kept pushing and pushing and exhuasting myself trying to fix it, i knew in the back of my mind that it was over a long time ago and that we wouldnt work in the future. she was my best friend though and the only family ive ever had all i wanted was to serve her and love her but there was always this twisted gut feeling in my stomach everytime i thought about our future, not from fear just uncertainty. we broke up once before for a short period of time and she bought someone back to our house within a couple days of us breaking up my mind reels at the thoughts of who she is with now who she is seeing.

**DREAM

I had a dream last night that we met up and i asked had she been with anyone else i asked her and i wanted her to say yes so i could hate her and move forwards in my dream she told me after a week of us separating that she had been sleeping with someone else she began to describe the sexual encounter to me with such joy saying it was hot and sweaty and that they didn't use protection and i remember feeling such a sense of a rage and sadness and sickness all at once in my dream, the though of her with another man made my sick. **DREAM

i woke up and i felt relieved as my mind was still telling me that was a real conversation and i hated her and could let her go and after properly waking up and realising it was a dream i cant shake the feeling the thoughts of that dream and what it meant to me. now i feel like i need to know if she is sleeping with other people so i can move on? WHY IS MY MIND ATTACKING ME LIKE THIS? i want to know that she is with other people so i can hate her so i can detach as i feel thats the only way i can move forward but at the same time i dont want to know either. i have no interest in other women right now, i dont think i ever will. i gave her every part of my heart and soul. ive only ever slept with 2 people in my life and have no interest in sleeping around being with other people, the thought makes me feel sick.

everytime i see anything slightly sexual it reminds me of her it makes me feel sick to my guts as to who she is with. i was her first and she was my second and to be intimate almost every day with the same person for 8 years is so special. i think its a mix of jealousy and fear fear because i know what other men are like and what they are capable and that she has not been exposed to how feral men can be and jealousy because what if she finds someone better than me? what if they pleasure her better or love her more. what if she is more attracted to them then me? she said to me that she still loves me and thats not that she doesnt want me she just doesnt think we have a future?? which is so insanely confusing cause how can you love and want someone but not be willing to commit to marriage and life together and risk going out into the world and hoping you find the connect you had with someone else.

she was my bestfriend, all i wanted was to be around her and in her presence and i think that makes this all so much harder for me. i feel like im one of those people that is always surrounded by people but feel so alone always. she took away the loneliness made me feel complete and normal maybe it was bad that i needed her to make me feel that way, maybe i should learn to feel that way before getting into another relationship. thats what everyone tells you to do. but does anyone actually truly do that? does anyone ever wait untill they are complete and feel whole before getting into another relationsip? i feel like if you were complete and happy being alone you would never get into a relationship at all so i feel like that kind of advice is a lie? what else would compel you to be in a relationship if you have learnt to be happy alone, i understand women having a biological clock and im led to beleive that some women have overwhelming maternal instincts and the need to have children but as a some what succesful male, if i learn to be happy aloen and enjoy my own company? why would i want to get into a relationship what would be the driving force behind that? so i think that type of thinking is a lie and fanciful.

i feel scared to go back home, i know i need to though. i left the state i live in to go stay with my cousins for a wgile to try and clear my head i dont know if it has helped our made things worse? im genuinely not sure.

im so scared of running into her, im so scared of running into her with another man. i dont know how to deal with these feelings of fear and jealousy. i just love her so much and my heart screams for her day in an day out.

even writing this now i feel sick at the thought the she is talking to somoene else and flirting with them and doing sexual things with them.

i think the hardest thing for me to grasp is her being sexually intimate with someone else. that seems to be the trigger for me to spiral and feel sick.

my psycologist told me that those are grief thoughts and to label them grief thoughts and that they will pass but they just make me sicker and sicker everytime i think of them.

im not eating, im not sleeping all i do is train. i feel so insecure and so scared i feel like ive aged so much in our relationship and that im ugly and un lovable so im just destroying my body to stay fit and become stronger than i am. i worry its becoming a mental ilnness almost a body dysphoria i hate myseld and everything about myself.

she was younger than me buy a couple of years and i know she is going to date someone younger than me and they will be fitter and stronger than me and it just hurts so much to think that.

i get angry cause i feel like she used me and robbed me of my life and my best years and that she never had any intention of seeing this through. she just used me as a vessel to get her setup in a career and financially.

#relationship #breakup #trauma #heartbreak #healing #self refle

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icravebooks · 1 year

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Yoonseon era

Summary: getting to know yoongi seem to just confuse you further, it's even more hard to not see him in a different light when he keeps showing you sides of him that you don't think people are aware of.

The tenses is about to increase when yoongi decides to reveal his love language.

Warning: fluff, yoongi being a softie and I am getting hella warm just thinking about how cute he is being, reader is having mood swings, yoongi is being concerned and let's see, mention of painful cramps, nothing that i find triggering.

Word count: 4.8k

Side note: i kinda heavily edited this one too and have to do same to the upcoming chapter after this which I will be uploading today. I hope you guys enjoy this.

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 7

Part 6

It has been nearly a month since you came here, your phone died down on you by the end of the very first week of your arrival to this place. A month taught you alot about how things worked around here, the maids were still a touch overbearing but you have made them break out of it alot of times.

You tried this whole time to grasp as much about yoongi as you could, he might have been considered a tyrant but he was a good king, People said He was dangerous but he never was quite oblivious of his duty to his people, he made sure his subjects were fed, crime was not out of hand, judgment was fair. He was exactly tyrant or perhaps people of this time really needed to see a tyrant King, however people feared yoongi and who didn't fear him respected no matter how small that number of people was it was enough to keep yoongi in control of his empire and running it nicely. You had come to admired how he was so serious to his duties instead of being selfish like anyone would expect of a person like him.

He was still cold according to people but you had seen some sides of him that the world seem to be unaware off and you weren't exactly in a hurry to let the world see it, you had been having meals with him every since and that was the time you told him about how things worked in future, it had to be one of the most fun time of your day since you came here, how couldn't it be when the whole time you got to see him giving you beautiful big doe eyes, his expression so intriguing that you often couldn't fight back a smile of appreciation, you were sure that if Shakespeare would have been korean instead of English, he would have wrote poetries about yoongi's beauty and the best part of yoongi was that scar of his.

It wasn't hideous some might think it looked hideous but if you were to describe it, the scar was actually a part of him that showed his bravery, it was a medal that was supposed to be wore with pride, it was a part of his past that was like a siren call pulling you towards him even more.

Anyhow, yoongi seems to be really curious of the future life, maybe being a king made him even more interested, he had been very much intergruied by the theory of government and how the whole power thing worked in future, although he had scoffed at the idea of democracy he still found some of the rules interesting. You would occasionally talk about your life to him, how you were brought up and what you wanted to do. Yoongi would always listen with such devotion that your heart couldn't stop making you think of him in so many other ways. You couldn't see him in the same light as his subjects, you knew he was far too wronged by everyone, a man who has to live according to people's own prejudice towards him when he has nothing to be at fault for. That one bitter thought leaving a sour taste in your heart, you heart yearned about how he became who he was today.

But he never once talked about his family or how his childhood was, he had always laughed and gave you a smile of adornment when you had talked about how much of a headache you were as a child. That had made your heart flutter a lot more times than his secretive past had sting, however Him being a total different person to how people describe him when he was around you made you think less and embarrassed yourself infront of him more. you had even started to bond better although ironically no other romantic moment was gifted to you ever since the garden one.

You like to consider it as you guys were friends, he had taken your advice on a lot of matter and it has also reached your ears that people are starting to change their opnion about him, The gossip about you being his mysterious love interest has also been circulating since day two when some of the maids saw you guys taking a walk near the lake while you both were trying to push each other into the lake, let's just say yoongi was actually a goofball in all true form.

You had been curious since the start about how he got that scar on his face, although you didn't dare to ask him cause it seemed like a very harsh memory that you wouldn't want him to talk about , you were also dubious that you were not that close yet or certainly never would be, no matter how bad that made it sting, that was the truth an undeniable one at that. Not Letting your feelings grow you decided to just delude yourself in thinking that you were merely intrigued by him and that scar, So to suffice your burn of curiosity you resorted to the most convenient option gossips, and who could be better reliable for it than someone who was there through the whole unfold of events, head lady shin served as the perfect source she recounted for you about how the previous king was a loved one, both of yoongi's parents were a love match.

their love story was quite swoon worthy his mother was the daughter of a botanist and yoongi father had a knack for plants leading to both of their meeting and then a marriage that was opposed by few nobles. Hearing that you were sure that the garden yoongi had was something even more personal than you had thought of it to be, it left you wondering if you would ever even know about what true possession it was, what his parents and his life was, his parents were madly in love and within a year in their marriage had yoongi.

they were the perfect happy family, yoongi was probably the pampered child and your heart had almost melted when you had imagined a chubby little one throwing tantrums but when you learned that upon yoongi turning 8 an assassination took place which resulting in his parents death your whole heart crashed you literally shut off on hearing that piece of information.

the person who was behind this whole assassination was some king who was enemies with yoongi's father, he didn't killed yoongi though and you couldn't help the tears already thinking of the 8 years old who was orphaned in an instant, the child who would have the seen the whole living nightmare.the child who was sent to some other place as of an exile, the child who knew affection being given a life of loneliness, you wanted to scream or cry on his behalf feeling anger prick at your skin over how could even people consider him tyrant when he was in all honesty a victim. rumors had it that when yoongi came back the scar was already there on his face and he was no longer an innocent pity child he was a 18 years old psycho burning for revenge which he did take, he killed his parents criminal with his own hands.

The death of the king was done so heinous that people shudder just at the mere mention of it, though it wasn't disclosed to you, you didn't actually felt remorse for the enemy king, it may have left a dark twisted glimpse to the old you but this version of you who knew what yoongi was like, the one who had seen the affectionate side of him, the one who knew that he had to keep a facade up all day long didn't feel pity or sympathy for anyone aside yoongi. After that revenge, yoongi took over the regin and had been ruling since then but you knew that just claiming what was rightfully his wasn't enough, call it insanity but you could actually feel the unsatisfactory of the whole turn of events.

Not letting the feeling get the best of you, You asked the head lady about how he got the scar all she told you was that nobody knew exactly how some say it was done by a bear who yoongi had combated with and had taken down, some say it was done by the king who killed his parents, some even say that yoongi himself did that just to keep it as a reminder of how he lost his parents.

Whatever you heard just left you feeling even more drawn to yoongi, ofcourse he was no good guy he had killed more people than you had seen within this little while of time spent here and he was strict even the slightest of mistake was taken as a huge sin by him. But you couldn't even feel a single ounce of fear when you were beside him, not when all he had ever done is sheilding you from any possible hurt verbal or physical.

he felt like...a safe place, you had not seen him do anything extreme dark but you were slightly doubtful that it would do nothing to scare you away, but to play safe you preferred not to getting involved into politics here because you were really not someone who could handle how things worked around here.

All in all he was a tyrant no doubt but there was some light within him and that's all you wanted to keep focusing on. Blame the dark romance book your read but you would rather have a villan than a hero.

You guys were getting along just good, you weren't going to be stupid and bring a wall between you. You were losing count of how many days you had been here which was lucky solved by the arrival of your periods always punctual to visit you after every 25 - 30 days.

That was why you were currently in your room cluchting your stomach and moaning in pain, additional to this your mood was pissed beyond pissed caused you didn't had a proper pad, you didn't even knew which Era you were in and there were no freaking pads!, so at last you had to arrange for something that could be used as a pad and thanks to the hack you once saw on your Instagram that you were able to make something somewhat similar to a pad. It still left you pissed, if anger was illustrated by animation there would have been a Grey cloud with lighting striking on top of your head.

"Lady y/n his highness will be expecting you for lunch." Lady shin informed making you roll your eyes, that would be the last thing you would want to be concerned about when you were literally similar to a fish without water, "tell him I won't be able to join him." You instructed turning to the other side and closing your eyes, you didn't mean to be rude but periods has its ways to bring out the worst in you and make you be a bitch. "wouldn't he question about the reason?" One of the other maid, yona said she was somewhere around your age and you had actually started to consider her as a friend. However her words currently didn't help, if anything it just made you clench your jaw in annoyance.

"Just tell him I am a bit under the weather." You stated waving your hand but ended up gritting your teeth as your cramps start to act up, it was silent for a few minutes as they left you alone to rest. Your cramps had started to get worst and worst never in your life had you faced extremely painful cramps, you had always had minimal one and when the pain became unbearable you were quick on gulping down a pain killer. That idea seem to not be valid for today, so you had no other choice than to suck it up and be a woman. Males they say are strong, giving them a one time try on periods cramp and then we will see who are actually strong.

"Yona." You called out not able to hold yourself still anymore, yoh sat up as you untied your hairs that were braided and used the scrunchie you had to tie your hairs atop In a lose bun. You felt glad that you had landed hear with you tourist bag which had all you stuffs in it, Your clothes, some of your other Essentials.

it had came in handy when you were telling yoongi about your world and he even had requested you for a few things so that he could ask his workers to try making them. Like the clothes they could be made same went for rubber bands and scrunchies, you even helped them make a full length mirror that was now settled on a corner in you room and was currently displaying the messed up state you were in, you looked like shit but who cares.

"You need something lady y/n?" Yona asked as she entered inside with a small smile gracing her lips making you frown, "before that how many more times am I to tell you to not call me that?" You pointed folding your arms and scowling at her, she just gave you a sheepish grin making you shake your head with a dismissive sigh, making friends with ladies of old times was fun they said, now you know not to trust kdramas a little too much. Stifling another frustrated sigh you decided to speak.

"can you ask the cook to heat up some raw rice and wrap it in a cloth and bring me that." You requested her and she opened her mouth slightly looking curious but nodded anyway probably thinking about missteping all those boundaries that lady shin talks about, "Don't worry I will show you what it's for." You assured her chuckling at her curiosity while she just gave you an apprehensive grin.

Once you were done with the instructions and yona had left you looked around the room trying to distract your mind, you definitely were going to skip lunch. You definitely not felt like eating with how bad your stomach was being, you wanted to curse at your ovaries but then again that wouldn't change a thing. You could try reading or maybe painting wait did you even knew how to paint using the old equipment,it would be a good distraction though but that could also make your sour mood even more sour but- You were cut off from your train of thoughts by a knock on your door, which made you look up at the same time as you shouted a come in.

What an unusual sight!

you didn't expected to see yoongi standing there looking at you with concern written all over his face, your mind racing a kilometre a minute just with the sight of his face you were sure you heart was still beating your brain on that marathon, you smiled nonetheless at the sight of him waving your hand at him as he closed the door behind him and walked to where you were.

You patted the place beside you and he was quick to take a seat next to you, how indecent even this was according to people's of his time but you didn't care, you wanted to know though what would people have to say if they saw yoongi and you right now. "I heard you were sick." He sounded a little too worried which made you chuckle slightly, "not exactly sick but just a little under the weather maybe." You stated giving him an assuring smile while he assessed you as if not able to believe your words. His gaze was so dark and serious that your insides shivered by the merely look in them, your period hormone controlled brain taking you to all the horny edges.

"What?" You laughed awkwardly praying for your cheeks to not give you out but you doubted that considering you could actually feel the warmth spreading all over your body, yoongi shrugged frowning a little looking extremely displeased, "you don't believe me?, i am completely fine yoongi, it's nothing big." You assured him placing your hand on his shoulder and giving it an reassuring squeeze, the way yoongi's eyes assessed made your stomach flip but that look of disappointment left an unsettling feeling within you, your brain now catching up to the fact that you looked like shit and self consciousness burning your cheeks brighter.

"Then why didn't you join me for lunch?" His question drew you out he sounded little whine and you bit back a smile, he was such a goofball and the worst part was he was totally unaware of that fact, God you could squish him right now, shower his face with kisses...okay let's stop right there, "I didn't wanted you to catch an.. infection ?" You weren't even sure why you were lying, but you weren't really sure if he had any idea about periods or not and this was the best your brain could do with the tense in your mind and stomach increasing with his gaze that was unwavering.

"You are lying." He grounded out making you looked at him with a surprised expression, you were a bit taken aback when you saw how his eyes hardened and a look of pain took over his face making you feel guilty for some reason. Ofcourse you shouldn't have lied to him but was telling him even an option?

"Don't you dare to tell me other wise, i have been here with you for some time now and you haven't coughed or sneezed once what else could cause an infection." He was quick at pointing out things and even was a good observer never a surprise considering he was a ruler, you didn't know how to answer him but still opened your mouth only to clench your jaw right after it as your lower abdomen felt like your heart was beating there instead of your chest. A sharp pain shooting through your body and making you grit your teeths in pain.

You placed a hand on your stomach out of reflex while you tried to take deep breathes, "are you okay?" Yoongi's deep voice which was almost shrieking made your attention turn to him, your mind returning from the pain haziness to administer the fact that you weren't alone you bit your lower lip nodding your head not wanting to worry him, "hold on a moment let me call for the royal physician." He announced all you comfort thaat had arrived just for a second leaving, your eyes widen when he got up from his spot, you quickly latched onto his hand trying to stop him. You breathed in ready to speak thinking he would understand the meaning behind your hold on him but seems like he miss interpreted it to be a pain reflex.

you wanted to stop him but Too late he already had called for the head eunuch, who seem to have been standing just outside the door and walked in as quick as you blinked. "Bring over the royal physician." He instructed while you looked between him and the eunuch, you knew what went through the eunuch's brain at the possible contact between you and yoongi but you were too fucked up to give a fuck about him, all you attention was currently on the man who was acting totally ridiculous.

"yoongi no!" You exclaimed in disapproval trying to stop him, making both him and the head eunuch look at you. You were sure to the watcher's eyes this very scene had a whole new angle which said that yoongi was fucking you and had caused a little secret but honestly you were overthinking or maybe you weren't thinking, what the hell was going on here in the first place, you were beyond frustrated and where the damn did yona go?!

"Don't you dare to tell me you aren't in pain, I can see it clear on your face." Yoongi scolded you giving you a shake of his head reminding you where you were,b he was right you were almost on the verge of moaning out in pain, you breathe a little labored and your teeths clenched. Why the fuck were you having such bad cramps?, or was it always this worst and you never noticed caused you took painkillers?, whatever it was this just might give you a whole different level of second hand embarrassment and you are way too sensible to live up to that.

Before you could put in another disapproval the eunuch had left the room with him you had to bid goodbye to your senses too cause no way in hell were you going to be able to live up to the embarrassment minutes away, yoongi distracted you from every sane thought of yours that at the moment was screaming in anger, he sat down infront of you and he looked hesitant but that look on his eyes was speaking volumes too much volumes for someone who was apparently was experiencing the worst pain she had ever had in life, talk about giving birth huh maybe you would pass on that.

You almost sobbed when yoongi's rough hands cupped your face too softly that you sighed in a little relief, you looked at him with tha exhaustion that was starting to weight down on you, his face was one of clear concern, his brows furrowed while his lips were slightly parted and there were wrinkles forming on the side of his eyes as he narrowed them looking at you, you wanted to reach forward and sooth those wrinkles down but you doubt they were gonna go anywhere until he was sure that you were healthy and perfectly fine. Even in this whole chaos your eyes were once again drawn to the scar you just wanted to gentle trace it with you finger maybe even kiss it, see how it feels against your lip.

"Tell me truthfully where does it pain?" He questioned his voice was a comforting wishper, it left you doubting if you had be cared for like this since forever, you wanted to cry blame it on periods but you really wanted to cry when he questioned you like that. "yoongi." That's all you could manage to whisper softly, another word and you bet you would be crying an ocean for fucked up reasons, you closed your eyes leaning into his touch, what the heck was he doing with you heart?, did you even had your heart with yourself anymore or was it his already, you couldn't help the slight prick in your tear glands when the ironic truth over took your heart.

"you can tell me." Yoongi sounded so soothing when he assured you encouraging you with a smile, you smiled back placing your hand over his, a pinch to your heart making you want to laugh at his assurance, will he still be this kind if you told him what he was starting to make you feel.

"I am totally fine yoongi, trust me I am not sick it's just..it's.." you couldn't complete your words the door was being knocked again, a sigh ignited from your chest, you both pull away from each other with a blush coating your cheeks but your heart was a little heavy, you weren't able to even feel embarrassed or any other emotions as another wave of pain shot through your stomach making you Groan.

Great now it gets even more difficult to convince yoongi that you didn't needed a doctor, you wanted to roll your eyes but the exhaustion was real and the frustration let's not talk about that.

"your highness." The unfamiliar voice made your head shot up towards the source, your eyes widen in panick as you were met with the sight of a man nearly in his 50s, this just keeps getting better and better. You had to be one of the luckiest or unlucky woman to have to explain periods infront of a 50 years old man and a king, you would have made a sarcastic comment had the situation not be so serious.

"Yoongi I don't need a doctor." You stated with a firm shake of your head the similar of which was yoongi's reply. Either this man was going to be the death of you or vice versa, he matched you on being stubborn and that always had it's way of crawling up your ass.

"You will have to leave the room your highness, I will see to what the problem is." The physician said made your brows furrow while you glared at him and then at yoongi who just nodded and got up from his seat, you no way in hell are gonna let this show on any further.

"oh hell no, I am perfectly fine there is no need to see to anything." You objected crossing your arms while the old man seem to choke on his spit at your outraged behavior or thee fact that you just blasphemy, yoongi just glared at you which your shrugged off. The older really might be having a heartattack seeing the way you were competing yoongi's glare.

"Oh really you call groaning like that completely fine or the way you have .." you cut him off by suddenly shouting not able to hold the dam of emotions back anymore, "because I am having my periods you dimwit!" You shouted making both of them look at you with puzzled expression.

"what is periods?" Yoongi questioned looking between you and the physician, any other time you loved when yoongi asked you questioned this time you were feeling nothing but rage, yoongi might have considered that maybe the physician knew the answer to it, He did just not the term you used. You didn't wanted to speak out about this men forbidden topic honestly you didn't even know why you were trying to hide this in the first place, you never had done this before but you never had been in some another era ever before.

"My monthly course if that's what you guys call it." You announced grumbling making both of the males face turn bright red while you just scoffed at the sight of them, so much for brave men. "What about the pain?" Yoongi questioned more like himself but maybe he spoke out his thoughts because the look on his face after spilling those words were of a bit cringe and had you not been recovering from a fire mood you would have admired it or teased him.

"it's common your highness not a big deal, nothing to worry about." The physician explained In a dismissive voice and that's the last straw your head snap in his direction so fast that you were sure you would have got whiplash.

Now that triggered you, "not a big deal?, how do you know have you ever had them?, just because women don't let on how much pain they go through doesn't makes it is less of a pain. " You snapped making the old man look at you as a deer caught in headlight, his expression morphed from shocked to scared in seconds, he seemed so astonished since he had entered the room that you doubted he would say a word good about you to people, he bowed apologizing which made your rub your face In frustration, yoongi was quick to dismiss him probably understanding just how pissed you were.

Once it was again just the two of you he sat down beside you not actually meeting your eyes as he looked out through the little window that was in your room, "is it always like this?" He questioned after a moment of serene passed between you both, you look at him with a smile not able to help yourself with the realisation that yoongi genuinely cared, "no..it can be but i am not entirely educated about what triggers these cramps." You answered keeping your tone soft, you saw him nod in understanding. It again turned silent between you both you could feel the pain subdue a little but the pain was still there and your whole attention was on the cramps.

"Can i help you In any way?"yoongi's question genuinely surprised you, it even more so ever steal your breath away when he turned his face towards you, his expressions so soft and a small almost not evidient smile appearing on his face, God you hated yourself for feeling butterflies just at the bare minimum but that's what made you realise it was far more than just attraction you felt for him, you sure were falling for him.

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