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#I feel like I'm just never gonna get what I need
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✨Lead Us Into Temptation✨
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The poll didn't even finish before I started working on this lmao, hope you enjoy my first take on some very soft dom Luci!
Lucifer x f!sinner reader
Summary: You were a devout believer in life, but somehow you ended up in Hell with no real explanation. Most nights you can be found sitting on a bar stool in the lobby, trying to cope with what's happened to you. But one night while in an intoxicated state, you reveal your most hidden desires to the King himself...
Lucifer x f!sinner reader
Warnings: smut, 18+, reader first time, hand job, fingering, tail play, oral (m & f receiving), p in v
"That's it, I'm cuttin' you off for tonight," Husk said sternly, whisking away your unfinished glass of whiskey. You'd been at the bar for only an hour and you've already downed five full glasses.
"Noooo, Husk c'mon...I'm fffffiiiinnee," you babbled, trying to push your head from the countertop unsuccessfully.
It's been a few months since you arrived in Hell after an unfortunate accident that ended in your early demise. But being a devout believer, you were so sure that Heaven would be your final destination. How wrong you were. You woke up in the fiery pit confused and scared, your body had transformed into that of a demon; you had become something you had feared for your entire life. When you first heard about the Hazbin Hotel, you nearly jumped at the opportunity for redemption. If there was even the slightest hope of getting out of here, you were going to take it. But your situation was more than troublesome, considering how you led your life up on Earth. On most nights, you could easily be found sitting on a bar stool, trying desperately to drown your sorrows and distract yourself from the reality you'd found yourself in.
What's worse...not everyone here is evil. It was ingrained into you that everyone down here in Hell deserved to be, they had earned this punishment. But getting to know some of the other residents at the hotel, that couldn't have been further from the truth! Was everything you were taught just a complete lie?! For Heaven's sake, Charlie, the literal princess of Hell, was the sweetest and kindest being you've ever had the pleasure of meeting! And Vaggie, a former angel, so devout to Charlie and her dream, you've never seen two people more in love. Angel, although a bit eccentric and over the top, cared deeply for his friends and was ready to fight for them at a moment's notice. It was all...not what you expected, and you had a very difficult time coping with everything that you had been thrust into.
"You're shit faced," Husk snapped back. "Look, I know you're havin' a hard time with all this. But drinking away your issues ain't gonna solve any of 'em. You need to sleep this off." He watched you stumble off the bar stool, your one foot catching the other, resulting in a rather pitiful fall onto the carpet. But you couldn't feel anything, the alcohol helped mask the pain you were sure to feel tomorrow. You couldn't help but giggle at your own clumsiness. "Oh, for fuck's sake..." Husk grumbled.
Before you could even attempt to pull yourself off the ground, you saw a pair of black boots approaching you in a rather hurried manner.
"Woah!" the voice exclaimed, "Are you alright? Here, let me help you!" In no time, your limp body went from lying on the lobby floor to being hoisted up and helped back onto the bar stool you fell from. You turned your head to see Lucifer's concerned face staring back at you. "Husk, what happened?"
"She's drunk," the cat demon explained, "I told her she was done drinkin' for the night and she ate shit trying to stand up. I was about to help her back to her room-"
All of a sudden, a shadowy presence started to form behind the bar. A static filled laugh was heard before Alastor had popped up, startling the bar tender. "Husker, my good man!," the radio demon bellowed, "it seems as though I am in need of your assistance."
"Fuck! Why can't you just walk in here like a normal fucking person?" Husk grumbled.
Alastor only responded with a light chuckle before fixing his attention on you. "My, my, what have we here?" Alastor taunted. You could have sworn you heard a low growl coming from Lucifer beside you. "I say, my dear, I've never seen you look worse than you do now. What a pity, all of those teachings really didn't help you in the long run, now did they?"
You felt tears threatening to fall from your eyes at Alastor's cruel words. If you were sober, you would have run the other direction as fast as you could. Alastor had been the other real soul you met who you knew with every fiber of your being belonged in this pit. But considering you had no inhibitions and clearly no chance of getting away, you picked your head up and slammed your fists on the table in righteous anger.
"Ohhh, eat shit youuuu *hic* smiling prick!" You tried to stand up once more, only for your legs to buckle underneath you. Luckily, Lucifer had caught you before your face had met with the carpet again. "I-I don't deserve this! 'Least I'm TRYING to redeem m'self!"
Alastor's malicious grin never faltered. "Oh, and what a fabulous job you're doing! I do wonder how a woman such as yourself has fallen so far from grace."
"Fuck off, radio freak," Lucifer snarled, barring his teeth and his eyes shifting to a deep crimson red and yellow.
“Oh, ho ho! Seems as though I’ve struck a nerve,” Alastor mocked. He made his way around the bar, now towering over you and the fallen angel. “Tell me, your highness, what is your fascination with this lost soul, hmm? I’m so utterly curious as to why you would give her the time of day when all she does is wallow in her self-pity and-”
“I. SAID. FUCK. OFF.” the king spat, his eyes now changing into a solid red and his voice deepening to match his threat. Though your vision was hazy, you noticed his horns had burst out from his temples. Whether it was the alcohol or something else entirely, your face suddenly felt very, very hot. “Don’t make me repeat myself again.”
Despite the immense danger, Alastor could only muster a sly grin. “It’s very rude to ignore my question.”
“I don’t have to do anything for you! Or have you forgotten who you’re talking to?” The way Lucifer spoke sent a shiver down your spine. “The only reason that you’re not a mangled corpse on the ground right now is because of my daughter. So, if you want to stay in one piece, I’d walk away right now if I were you…”
The two men's faces were just inches away from each other now. Alastor’s eye twitched as he glared back at Lucifer with pure distain. His eyes shifted to you only for a brief moment before standing up straight and smirking to himself.
“I suppose it really is no business of mine as to how you choose to mingle with the guests here,” the radio demon resolved. He turned around to walk away, but not before glancing at you once more over his shoulder. “They’re lost causes anyway. Come along, Husker!”
Lucifer’s demonic traits disappeared as Alastor finally left the parlor. “I hate that man.” He looked at Husk empathetically. “If I could break your arrangement with him, I would. I’m sorry. But don’t worry, I’ll take care of her.” With that, Husk nodded and followed the radio demon down the hall, leaving you and Lucifer alone at the now empty bar.
You started to bawl as you clung to Lucifer for support. Immediately, he rushed you over to the couch and sat you down next to him, letting you cry into the crook of his neck.
"Hey, hey, shh," Lucifer soothed. "It's alright. Alastor won't bother you anymore, I'll make sure of it."
"It's n-not him," you sniffled, "it's everything! Al-stor's right, there's no savin' me."
Lucifer pulled you away from him, placing a hand under your chin as he looked into your glassy eyes. "Now what makes you say that?"
Another tear rolled down your face. "Is like he said, what I was taught up there...nothing's true! Welllll, except..." you placed your hand over the one holding your face tenderly. "Theeeyyyyy did say that you, Luciferrrr, were heaven's prettiest angel. They def-liny didn't lie about that!"
You noticed a small blush creep across Lucifer's face at your words. He pulled his and away from your face to clear his throat, glancing away from you. "T-Thank you. That's umm, very kind of you."
You chuckled to yourself, scootching your body closer him. "Do you mind if I *hic*, lay down, jus' for a sec. Gettin' sleepy.
"Yeah, of course!" Lucifer smiled, but only for a moment. "W-Wait, hold on!"
But by the time he tried to warn you, your head had already fallen into his lap. You smiled up at the flustered man and chuckled, the heat returning to your face once more. "You got soft legs, hehe!"
Lucifer inhaled sharply. "Husk was right, you really are drunk. Wouldn't you feel more comfortable laying your head on a pillow?"
"Nnnnope!" you replied.
"Alright then," the king breathed and massaged the back of his neck, doing his best to hide how tense he'd become from your sudden closeness.
"H-Hey," you called up to him, "why'd youuu...why'd you protect me jus' now? From Al-stor. You *hic* didn't have to..."
He looked down at you softly, brushing away the hair that had fallen in your face. "I don't like bullies. You didn't deserve that, and Alastor knows that for his sake that he shouldn't get on my bad side."
"Never seen you so mad." you mumbled.
"I'm sorry you had to see that," he apologized, continuing to play with you hair. "I don't like bringing out that side of me. But Alastor really likes to push his luck for some bizarre reason."
"Awww," you pouted, "is too bad. I liked seeing that side of ya. It was HOT!"
Lucifer stopped his movements completely. “I-I’m sorry?”
“You heard me,” you responded poking at his chest. “What? Did ya think jus’ cuz I was a believer when I was alive that I’d be SCARED of ya? Maybe at first. Not anymore! I’m already in Hell soooo there’s no point in hidin’ it, is there?”
“Hiding what, exactly?” Lucifer gulped as if he was almost too afraid to ask.
You giggles and hid your face with your hands. “Noooo, you’re jus’ gonna laugh at meeee!”
Lucifer let out an amused hum. He gently took ahold of your wrists and lowered your hands away from your now completely beet-colored face. “I promise I won’t laugh at you, my dear. You’ve very much piqued my curiosity! And I’m very good at keeping secrets, you know! So please, let me keep yours.” He let go of your wrists, letting your hands fall onto your chest. You watched as he leaned closer to you, his half-lidded eyes piercing your very soul. “Won’t you tell me, my sweet angel?”
"I...*hic* I umm..." you babbled. It was clear that you were struggling to answer.
"Mind if I take a guess?" Lucifer offered as he went back to playing with your loose locks of hair. "Is it possible that you have a little crush on-"
"I WAN' YOU TO FUCK ME STUPID TILL I CAN'T 'MEMBER MY NAME!" you blurted out without any reservations.
"-me..." Lucifer froze at your confession. You could hear the sound of a pin drop with the deafening silence that now filled the air. With a big inhale, he straightened his back fully, placing both of his hands under you in a flash, not daring to look down at you. "Well, I-I think it's about time we got you to bed!" he nearly shouted as he scooped you up in his arms and stood up faster than normal.
You let out a small squeak of surprise with his sudden motion. With a snap of his fingers, a portal appeared next to you and he quickly carried you across the threshold and into your dimly lit room. With a flick of his wrist, your bedsheets were undone and Lucifer was able to lay you down gently onto your mattress. He reached over you to grab your undone comforter and pulled it on top of you, covering everything but your head.
"Okay! Uhh, s-sleep well!" Lucifer went to run through the portal, but not before you were able to grab his sleeve.
"D-Did I upset you?" you asked nearly on the verge of tears again? Lucifer still hadn't looked at you.
"N-No! No, angel, you didn't upset me!" he tried to sooth you, but you weren't buying it. You couldn't stop more tears running down your face. When Lucifer heard your quiet cries, he finally turned towards you in a state of sheer panic. "Ahh, no!" He kneeled down next to you, wiping your tears away with his free hand. "Please don't cry! I promise I'm not upset!"
"Knew it was stupid...," you sobbed, "shouldn't have told you..."
"Don't say that," the fallen angel cooed. "Okay, okay, look...If uhh, we're admitting things right now, I might as well too. Would that make you feel better?"
You sniffled a bit. "M-Maybe..."
Lucifer shut his eyes and let out a deep sigh. "I've had...similar feelings...about you, that is. So...no more tears, okay?"
You stared at the man before you, completely and utterly baffled by what you had just heard. "R-Really?"
"Yes," he whispered. "But we can talk about this tomorrow, yeah? You need some sleep; it looks like you're about to pass out."
He was right. Your eyelids felt as though they could give out at any moment, and the warmth from your blanket wasn't helping you stay conscious either. As Lucifer stood up, you still clung to his sleeve like your life depended on it. "Stay?" you almost begged.
He smiled weakly, taking your hand from his sleeve, and placing a small peck on the back of it. "Not tonight," he responded. "Sleep now, darling. I'll see you when you wake." You couldn't find the strength to respond, letting yourself drift off to sleep as Lucifer left you to dream.
Little did you know that he had disappeared to take a very cold shower.
****
When you regained consciousness, you felt the familiar pounding in your head after a heavy night of drinking. Begrudgingly you dragged yourself out of you bed and forced your way to your bathroom for a much needed shower. You realized when you glanced towards the mirror that you never changed out of your clothes from yesterday. In fact, you don't even remember how you got back to your room last night, Everything was such a blur, and it hurt to think with the major headache you were experiencing at the moment. The last thing you could recall was falling off the bar stool, the pain you felt in your shoulder was enough of a reminder. Once you stepped in the hot shower, you felt a little better, but only a little bit. You tried to rack your brain for answers, trying to remember exactly what happened after you fell. You ran your fingers through your hair, letting the water soak your aching body. But in doing so, something had clicked. That motion had unlocked a foggy memory. Your hair. Someone had run their hands through your hair last night, but you couldn't for the life of you remember who. It was gentle, soft, tender. But who would do that?
After a few minutes, you stepped out of the shower and threw on one of the sundresses you had hanging in your closet. You really didn't feel like putting a ton of effort into your clothing choices today. Hopefully Charlie would forgive you for skipping out on her planned activity today and let you recover. You realized after that initially thought that you didn't even know what time is was. Chances were you had already missed it. With a groan, you plopped down back onto the mattress, your hair still damp.
"What's the matter with me," you asked yourself. "How do I expect to be redeemed when all I do is sabotage my chances by getting wasted every night?" Your headache persisted as you laid in your bed, you almost wanted to cry from the pain. But then, you heard a soft knocking at your door. Charlie, you thought. More than likely she was checking in on you to make sure you were alright. "I'll be there in a second!" you called out. The volume of your own voice didn't help your hangover in the slightest. You grabbed one of the small pillows off your bed for comfort and trudged your way to your door. "I'm really sorry I slept in Charlie," you spoke as you turned the door handle, "it was a...really rough night for me and I-" you stopped completely once you opened the door fully. Charlie, in fact, was not the one who had knocked.
"Yeah, you really did get put through the ringer last night, didn't you?" Lucifer smiled at you. The pillow you held fell to the floor with a soft thud.
“Oh, I-I’m so sorry, sir!” You stuttered. “I-I thought you were Charlie! Did-Did she send you?”
Lucifer looked at you with a puzzled stare. “Uhh, no, no she didn’t. I told her what happened last night and let her know I’d check in on you like I promised.”
“Promised?” you asked, but Lucifer didn’t seem to hear you.
“And you don’t have to refer to me as “sir,” my dear, “Lucifer” is just fine! I mean, you used my name just fine last night!”
Your heart stopped. “L-Last night? Oh no…what…what happened last night?”
Lucifer gawked at your question. “Wait, do you not remember anything?” You shook your head timidly. “Oh dear…well, nothing bad happened, I promise! What’s the last thing you can remember doing?”
You looked down at the floor sheepishly, embarrassed to admit the real answer. “The last thing I can remember is falling off the bar stool and…landing on my face…”
Lucifer stood there and pondered for a few seconds before speaking again. “Do you mind if I come in?”
“Oh, umm, yeah, y-you can come in,” you agreed. You picked up the pillow you had dropped and opened the door for Lucifer to saunter in. “I’m sorry I look like a mess right now, I-I just got out of the shower and my hair isn’t completely dry yet and-”
“Hey, hey, it’s alright!” Lucifer interrupted. “You don’t need to apologize. You look lovely, in any case.”
You brought the pillow in your hands up to your face in an attempt to hide your blush. “T-Thank you,” your muffled voice came through the pillow. "I-If you want, you can sit down on my b-ahh fuck!" One hand came up to your forehead when you felt your head pounding from the pressure that's been building since you woke up. This was definitely one of your worst hangovers to date.
"Oh! Are you alright?" Lucifer asked, his voice laced with deep concern.
"My head..." you choked out. You made your way over to your bed, crawling up to the top and cradling the pillow in your arms "Hangovers are never really kind to me."
Lucifer frowned, seating himself down on the edge of your mattress next to you. You felt your face flare up again when you looked up at his worried expression. "Can I help you? I can alleviate the pain. You only need ask."
"Y-you can?"
"Sure! Angelic power and all that." His hand hovered just above your forehead. "May I?"
"Yes," you breathed. With that, you felt his soft hand make contact with your aching head. You felt a warm tingling sensation emanating from his touch. It didn't hurt nor was it unpleasant, it was healing. Without thinking, you leaned further into his touch, letting the warmth spread throughout your entire body. Your headache slowly began to fade away along with the fogginess that had been plaguing you since you woke up. As his touch lingered, you realized you were able to think more clearly than before, memories from last night started to become clearer and clearer. You remembered Lucifer had come to your rescue after you'd fallen. You remembered Alastor had shown up to mock you in your drunken stupor, only for Lucifer to step in and defend you. You remember sobbing with Lucifer while he comforted you. Then you remembered...
You shot straight up, your heart racing a million miles a second, with Lucifer throwing his hand back in surprise. "What? What happened? Did I hurt you?" Lucifer asked in a panic.
"I'm..." you began, "I'm starting to remember things from last night." You clutched the pillow tight to your chest, refusing to look in the fallen angel's direction. "Please tell me I didn't actually lay down in your lap..."
"Uhh, well...," You could tell from his response that that's exactly what had happened.
"Oh my God, I'm so sorry!" you apologized. "I shouldn't have done that! I-I know I drank way too much last night, I should have stopped, I didn't realize that-"
Lucifer's hand immediately flew to your shoulder in an attempt to get you to stop you from completely spiraling. "Darling, you don't need to apologize for that! You weren't feeling great so you just, ya know, used me as a pillow. And besides, it's not like I disliked it either."
"W-What?!" you nearly shrieked. Another realization had hit you just then. "You! You were the one that was playing with my hair! That's the only thing I could remember when I woke up!" You buried your face in the pillow once more. "If I said anything embarrassing..."
You heard Lucifer swallow hard. "I guess uhh, it depends on your definition of the word."
"Oh God, please no..." you pleaded. "What did I say?"
Lucifer held up his hand again as an offering, a weary smile on his face. "I can help you to remember, if you wish."
You let out a shaky breath but nodded in agreement. Lucifer's hand once again found its way to your forehead, a familiar warmth flowing through you once more. You closed your eyes and saw the images from last night flash before you. You saw yourself looking up at Lucifer who'd just asked you to tell him your little secret. But as soon as you remembered the drunken words that flew from your mouth at that moment, your eyes shot open and you flung yourself to the opposite side of the bed, as far away from Lucifer as possible.
"No. No! Nononononono!" you panicked, "I didn't-I mean I couldn't have, I...NO!" You couldn't stop yourself from crying into the pillow, ashamed and embarrassed at the thought of your past actions. "This is a nightmare..."
You felt the bed shifting beneath you as Lucifer crawled toward you hesitantly. "I'm sorry," he murmured behind you, "I know you must be feeling a lot of different emotions right now, but it's alr-"
"NO, IT'S NOT ALRIGHT!" You snapped, jumping from the bed in an attempt to put as much distance between you and him as possible. Your rage was quickly replaced with remorse when you saw Lucifer's shocked, almost hurt expression. You took a deep breath before speaking again. "I didn't mean you scream at you like that, I'm sorry...but you don't understand..."
"Then help me understand," Lucifer asked, now kneeling on the bed. "Please?"
You looked away from him and down to the ground, your heart threatening to beat out of your chest at the thought of explaining yourself to the literal king of Hell. "I...I grew up in church. I was raised as a believer. Told to be a “good girl." I was taught my entire life that Hell was a place to be feared, a place where the most evil of people end up. And I would be wise to fear it as well and repent so I would not end up there...uhh, here. That clearly didn't help me now, did it?" You let yourself drop to the bed again, letting your legs dangle over the sides. "My entire worldview just seemed to crumble around me when I started staying here at the hotel. Sure, there are some awful people here, but...it feels as though this "divine judgement" is...just completely fucked up! The guests here are better people than most believers I knew when I was alive! How is that right? How is that fair?!"
"Well," Lucifer interjected, "I can tell you first hand that Heaven is definitely not what it seems. I mean, have you seen the things they've said about me in that book of theirs?" he laughed, trying his best to lighten the mood.
You twisted your head over your shoulder, staring back at him with complete intensity. "And you!" You shot back up on your feet in an instant, pacing back and forth as Lucifer watched you completely mesmerized. "Where do I even start with you? You're Lucifer, the devil himself, the great deceiver, and temptation incarnate! Everything I was ever told about you is bullshit! You've been nothing but hospitable ever since I've been here! You protected me from Alastor last night! You took care of me while I was drunk! You didn't have to do any of those things, you shouldn't have done any of those things! You're not evil and it's...it's driving me to the brink! When Charlie had told me that you were her father, I was PETRIFIED! But nothing could have prepared me for finding out who you really were."
Lucifer slowly crawled towards you, climbing off the bed and now standing before you, perhaps just a tad too close for your comfort. "And who am I?" he asked softly.
Instinctively, your body drew itself closer and closer to his, as if you had no control of your movements anymore. "You're...an angel," you sighed.
Lucifer smiled at you, timidly resting his hand on your forehead. "Would you like to remember the rest of last night?"
"I already embarrassed myself enough to the point of no return so I might as well," you huffed shyly.
Lucifer chuckled, "Don't worry, the worst is over. But at least now you'll get to remember my favorite part."
The last of your aches in your body finally subsided as you let the rest of your previously forgotten memories flood your mind. It made sense that Lucifer would have been the one to bring you back to your room. Seeing yourself cry was not surprising to you, but what was surprising was Lucifer's admittance of reciprocated desires. You opened your eyes at last to the angel's sheepish grin. You took a half step away from him, your face feeling like the core of a raging volcano.
"You...you really..." was all you could muster.
"I'm not above embarrassing myself either, my dear," he joked, "I'd say we're even now."
"T-That's not even remotely close to being even!" you babbled.
Lucifer grinned and closed the gap between the two of you, taking one of your hands in his. "Regardless," he mused, "I meant what I said. Every word. And if you'd like to discuss this further, I'd be more than happy to listen." He pressed a small peck to the back of your hand just as he did last night. Even though your hangover had completely vanished, the brain fog had come back in full force. Maybe Lucifer was truly temptation incarnate.
"I-I can't believe this," you stutter, pulling your hand away from his and throwing yourself back onto your bed and covering your reddened face with your hands. "This has to be a dream, there's no way this is real! I'm sure I'm still passed out drunk right now! You're not supposed to be this way! You're supposed to be cruel and wicked and manipulative! Not..."
"Suave and oh so devilishly handsome?" Lucifer smirked.
"You're not helping!" You felt the mattress fold further under Lucifer's weight as he sat down next to you. "So...w-what happens now?"
"I mean, I can think of a few things," he answered smugly. "But in all seriousness, nothing will happen. Not unless you say otherwise."
"See, it's stuff like that!" you shouted, suddenly sitting up right. "Being respectful and considerate, constantly making sure I'm comfortable? That's not who you're supposed to be! I've just been fucking lied to my whole life and I'm PISSED and I'm finding it extremely difficult to not just...just...oh FUCK IT!"
Without warning, you grabbed Lucifer by the collar and crashed your lips into his. He let out a surprised yelp, but you had quickly swallowed it as his shock turned into pure bliss. His hands quickly found your face, cupping them and massaging your red-hot cheeks with his thumbs. Your annoyance had faded almost immediately, your fierce kiss had turned soft and passionate with his tender touch. You were the first to pull away, only to be met with Lucifer's pleading gaze.
"S-So much for being a good girl," Lucifer teased.
You pushed his face away gently. "I hate you!"
"That kiss suggested otherwise, darling."
"You should stop talking," you threatened.
"You should make me," he challenged.
In an instant, you were straddling Lucifer’s lap, your legs flush against his. You gripped the brim of his hat and tossed it to the floor below. You leaned in for another kiss, but this one was hungrier, needier. His lips were soft and you had already become addicted to his taste. You felt his jagged tongue brush against your bottom lip, and you pulled back in shock. “Is your tongue…” Lucifer flashed a cheeky smile and stuck out his tongue playfully. Sure enough, a forked snake tongue hung between his lips. “O-Oh, okay…” You weren’t sure how you never noticed before right now, but your lack of observation skills were the furthest thing from your mind right now. You closed your eyes and leaned in again, your mouth slightly ajar, basically begging for him to invade your mouth. To which Lucifer happily obliged. You felt his tongue slip past your teeth, entangling itself with yours. His hands had shifted down to your hips, kneading and lightly squeezing at your skin underneath your dress. The feeling of his claws pressing into you sent a shiver down your spine. More, more, more was the only thing you could think at the moment. But just as you got used to the feeling of his lips, Lucifer was the one to pull away this time. A tiny whimper escaped you. “Don’t worry, angel,” Lucifer cooed, “we have time. All the time in the world, in fact. I just want to make sure you’re alright. Do you want to keep going?”
The passion you felt was quickly replaced with fear. It hadn’t occurred to you that you had neglected to mention a pretty crucial piece of information. “Yes, I-I do, but umm…I should tell you…”
“Yes?”
“I…haven’t exactly…” you gulped trying to find the right words. “I haven’t been with anyone before…”
“Wait, wait,” Lucifer froze, “you’ve never-”
“No!” You cut him off. “L-Look, when it’s been drilled into your head since you were a child that premarital sex is going to send you to Hell, you’re going to avoid it!”
Lucifer let out a deep sigh, then chuckled to himself. “Okay, I have to admit something. That whole “sex before marriage is a sin” thing miiiiigggghhhhttt be my fault.” You raised an eyebrow. “They never got over the fact that I more or less stole Adam’s first wife. Of course we weren’t married at that point! Heaven’s been petty ever since.”
You rolled your eyes playfully. “Oh, so it’s YOUR fault that I’m a virgin! Good to know.”
“Forgive me.” Lucifer allowed himself to lay flat on his back, with you following close behind. He raised his head and brought his lips to your ear. “But at your word, I’d be more than happy to rectify this injustice,” he whispered softly.
Goosebumps covered both of your arms at his words. You knew your face must have turned a new shade of red the way Lucifer smirked at you. You lowered yourself on his crotch out of spite and began to grind your hips lethargically. It was your turn to embarrass him. His breath caught in his throat from your motions, you could already feel that your lewd actions were having an effect on the man beneath you. The growing bulge in his pants that you felt on your own clothed heat had you salivating.
"You know, I-I'm not a complete novice," you admitted, your hands now making your way down his jacket, undoing every button with care. "I have a few tricks up my sleeve."
Lucifer pushed you back upright, now straddling his lap once more, and slipped himself out of his undone shirt. Aa you gripped his bare It took everything in your power not to stare at his perfectly toned chest. "And what "tricks"-hngg…would those be?"
You placed a chaste kiss to his lips before sliding off of his lap and kneeling on the floor in front of him. Lucifer's breath hitched instantly at the sight before him. You rested your palms on his inner thighs, your rapid breathing betraying your faux collected exterior. "I figured since I couldn't break the rules, I could at least bend them."
Lucifer firmly gripped the sheets beneath him as he watched your thumbs trace circles near his crotch. "Already on your knees for me, sweetheart?” he teased, running a hand from the top of your head, relishing in the softness of your hair, and down to the tip of your chin. “I didn’t know my powers of temptation would work so well on someone as devout as you.” You failed to hide the whimper that escaped your throat. “I’m sorry, I know I’m teasing you too much. I’ll stop if-”
“N-No, don’t stop…” you responded almost inaudibly.
A sultry laugh emanated from the man above you. “Oh, is that so?” You nodded. “Use your words, love.”
You shivered. “Please… remind me of my place…sir…”
He tilted your head up towards him, leaning down and placing a soft kiss on your lips. “Whatever you wish, my angel. You let me know if I go too far, okay?”
“Yes, I will.”
“Good girl,” he murmured. “Now, I believe you wanted to show me something?”
You took a deep breath before reaching out for the zipper and button of his pants. You made slow work of them, trying to be as delicate as possible. You grabbed both the hems of his pants and boxers, Lucifer raising himself up so you could more easily shimmy the remainder of his clothing off. His hardened cock sprang free, your face boiling from seeing the very obvious precum that had already begun leaking from the tip. After tossing away his pants, gripped Lucifer’ s hips and brought him as close to the edge of the bed as possible, your lips now mere inches away from his impressive length. You swallowed harshly. Breathing became an increasingly difficult task. With tentative hands, you reached out and lightly gripped the base of Lucifer's cock, his low moan sent pleasure straight between your thighs. There was no going back now.
"Go ahead, my dear," Lucifer encouraged, "show me how sinful those hands of yours are."
Without any further prodding, your hand move languidly up and down his cock, the precum providing enough lubrication for smooth strokes. Lucifer groaned above you, his sounds were everything you'd imagined and more. Your strokes became faster, needing to hear more of Lucifer coming undone from your touch alone. But even touching him wasn't enough to satisfy your desires. Your hot breath so close to his most sensitive area had Lucifer shuttering. And even more so when you decided to run your tongue from the base of his cock to the very tip. You'd finally gotten your first taste of him, and that sent you into a complete frenzy. Your tongue worked circles around the head of his length and you could hear Lucifer's guttural moans turn into whimpers of pure ecstasy.
"F-Fuck," Lucifer managed to choke out as he watched you bob your head and down, taking as much of him as you could manage. "You-mnmm...s-sure seem to know what you're doing. S-Shhiiittt...I-I'm starting to think you-GA-AAHH...you really do b-belong down here." Lucifer's composure was fading fast even though he continued his taunting. His words lit a fire within in, increasing your movements to an unrelenting pace. "O-OH FFFFUU-UUCCCKK," he screeched, his hand now tightening around your hair for an assemblance of stability. His overstimulated cock twitched in your mouth; you knew he was close. "Y-You're gonna make me c-cum if you keep doing thaa-ahhhht...but t-that's what you want, isn't it? You wanna taste m-my cum, sweet girl?"
"M-Mhmm," you hummed blissfully, your mouth and hand working in tandem to bring him over the edge.
"Then d-don't stop," he commanded.
You did exactly as he said, not slowing down for even a second. The thought of kneeling before the outcasted being that you were meant to despise with every inch of your soul drove you mad. Now here you were, unraveling him with your hands and mouth alone. Lucifer was using all of his willpower to not thrust his hips into you and completely fuck your mouth. That would have to wait for another time. But once your other hand started to gently massage his balls, it was over. "Fuck fuck fuck FUCKFUCKFUCK-CUMMING," he cried out before finally emptying himself inside your mouth. You couldn't move away even if you wanted to the way he way holding your head in place. But you were perfectly content swallowing every drop of his hot cum. When the twitching stopped, he had released his grip on you, allowing you to pull away from him and gulp down the last of his seed. You looked up at him with a nervous smile, your hands now resting on his knees.
"H-How'd I do?" you laughed sheepishly. But your laugh faded once you saw the change in Lucifer's appearance. His eyes were no longer his normal soft yellow, but a deep crimson red.
"Oh, my sweet little angel," his voice dripping with desire, "you were nothing short of absolute perfection. How absolutely filthy you are for swallowing all of my cum. I love it!" He offered his hand to you, helping you off of the ground. He stood with you, pulling at the bottom of your dress. "But I'm far from being done with you." With a soft "yes", your dress was dragged over your head and tossed to the side in one swift motion, leaving you nothing but your matching black bra and panties. Lucifer stood there drinking in your form, his outstretched tongue swishing from side to side. "Gorgeous," he hummed against your skin before bringing his hot mouth to your neck. You squeaked at the sensation, but your surprise rapidly shifted to wanton moans. His sharp teeth and forked tongue raked across your pulse, sending waves of pleasure throughout your entire body. "I'll make sure everyone knows you're mine now..." he pulled away and looked up at you pleadingly, "that is, if you'll have me."
You smiled, tears now pricking the corner or your eyes. "I'm already yours."
Lucifer's breath had caught in his throat as he captured your lips, your mouth being invaded by his eager tongue. He hoisted you up by your hips, your legs instinctively wrapping around his hips as you hooked your arms around his neck to pull him even closer than before. He laid you down on the bed sweetly, now crawling his way up towards you. Lucifer's body now completely enveloped yours. The angel's disheveled hair and the sweat dripping from his forehead was truly a breathtaking sight. His captivating red eyes felt as though they were piercing your very soul, searching for every hidden desire you had locked away. Lucifer licked his lips seductively. "If my memory serves, I recall a certain someone telling me that they found my unholier side...oh, what was the word..." Lucifer feigned forgetfulness as his horns appeared from his skull, "Ahh, yes, I remember now. "Hot." Isn't that right, darling?"
Your face flushed furiously. You mentally cursed your drunken self as you looked up at Lucifer's smug expression. His demonic features made you quiver with anticipation. You've all but sold your soul to the devil himself and you were more than willing to give him everything he wanted. His red claws made quick work of your bra, unclasping it with ease and throwing it across the room. The urge to cover yourself was overwhelming, but it was like Lucifer could read your every thought. He held both of your wrists and placed them above your head, holding them there with just one hand while the other made its way towards your chest.
“Be a good girl and keep your hands there for me,” he ordered.
You nodded obediently. You clung onto the pillows above you as Lucifer let go of your wrists, placing both of his hands on your supple breasts, mewling from the stimulation. Lucifer pinched your nipples, rubbing them gently between his clawed fingers. The sharp ends of his claws poked at your skin while he continued his ministrations. Your meek whimpers turned into moans.
“L-Lucifer, please…” you begged. “I-I need-GAH…”
“I adore the way you say my name, love,” he praised. “Say it again.”
“Luciferrr…” you whined.
He rewarded you with a kiss. “What a pretty voice you have, all desperate and needy for me. So willing to submit…”
He let his mouth fall on one of your nipples, lapping and sucking the sensitive bud while kneading at your other breast. Your nails dug into the pillows, fighting every urge to reach out and touch him. But you couldn’t stand it, obedience truly had its disadvantages.
“Please Lucifer, l-let me touch you,” the request fell from your lips in a desperate plea. “Let me hold you…”
“Hmmm,” his lips reverberated against you. “Patience, love, patience.” Lucifer’s demonic tail appeared suddenly behind him, swaying back and forth. You watched as it lowered itself close to the hem of your panties. Slowly, it inched its way underneath and found itself between your slick folds. You couldn’t hold back a gasp once you realized what Lucifer had planned. “Allow me to try something first.” After giving him the "okay", you felt him flick his tail against your clit, causing you to arch your back, moaning unashamedly in the process. It was circling your swollen nub slowly at first, but quickly built up to a relentless pace. Your body shook uncontrollably as his tail abused your clit. “The way your body reacts to me is such a wonderful sight to behold, sweetheart. Look at you, so easily corrupted.”
It wasn’t long before you cried out in absolute pleasure. You could feel that coil in your stomach ready to snap. You'd barely been touched and you were helpless to fight against your impending release. “F-Fuu-aaahhhh Lu-Lucifer! I-I can’t-HHAAAA-gonna c-cum…g-gonna-FFFUCK!” Lucifer ignored your cries, only focusing on your breasts as you writhed under his touch. You screamed as your sudden orgasm hit you like a freight train, your walls clenching around nothing.
With a low chuckle, Lucifer removed his tail from your drenched slit, admiring your complete fucked out face. "You did so well," he praised, "I promise I'll get you some new panties soon, it wasn't very nice of me to let you ruin yours." You turned your face away from his to hide your embarrassment, only for Lucifer to give you a small peck on your very reddened cheek. "You can move your arms now, darling." At his word, you released the death grip you had on the pillows behind you and pulled Lucifer in for another deep kiss. You felt his lips curl into a smile against yours. "Would you like to keep going?"
"Yes."
"Hehe, so eager," he said poking your nose, "it's adorable. I think it's only fair that I get to have my fill of you now, don't you think?"
Your pupils dilated. "O-Oh, you mean..."
"Is something wrong?" he asked nervously.
"No! No, nothing's wrong," you reassured him, "it's just that...no one's ever offered to uhh, do that for me."
A mix of annoyance and confusion flashed across his face. "Wait, what?!" He sat up straight, resting his full weight on your stomach. "So, let me see if I'm understanding this correctly. You've gone down on men before but not one of them ever offered to return the favor?" You shook your head nervously. A fearsome growl erupted from Lucifer's throat and his eyes had turned a glowing red for just a moment; you couldn't help but shiver. "I'm sorry, but that's inexcusable! Hell isn't enough of a punishment for men like that. To only take and never give back." Lucifer made his way off of you and helped you sit upright against the pillows. "Please allow me to make up for their sins."
"O-Okay," you responded weakly, "only if you want to. I never want you to feel like you have to do anything for me."
He leaned into you for a tender kiss. "Darling, I want nothing more than to ravish you in every way possible; you deserve that and much, much more." You couldn't help but blush at his flattering words. "Lift your legs for me?" You did as he asked, allowing him to tug at the hem of your panties. You held your breath as you watched him drag them down the length of your legs and toss them away carelessly. You closed your legs instinctively, though you realized it was a little bit too late to try and hide yourself from him at this point. Lucifer only smiled and positioned himself in front of you, resting his hands on your knees. "It's alright, take your time," he soothed.
You nodded and let out the breath you had been holding. Lethargically, you began to part your legs for him, letting him finally drink in the sight of your soaked entrance. You noticed him gulp in response and couldn't hide the small smirk on your face. "Like what you see?"
Lucifer licked his lips mindlessly, staring at you like you were a meal to be devoured. "You have no idea," he answered, never taking his eyes away from of your glistening pussy. He laid himself down on his stomach, trailing soft kisses on either side of your inner thighs, leaving nothing but tender bite marks and hickies in his wake. With each passing second you became more and more restless, wanting nothing more than this torment to end. But Lucifer was savoring every bit of you and your heart couldn't help but feel full. At last, you felt his hot breath against your pussy, your body tensed at the sensation.
"Lucifer..." you whispered.
He placed one final kiss to your thigh. "For as long as I live, I'll never tire of hearing you say my name," he spoke sweetly, "Relax for me as much as you can now, love. And if you need to, you can grab my horns. They're there to help you."
"W-Why would I need to gra-AAAHHH" you tried to ask but were cut short after feeling Lucifer take a long, languid lick up your folds. It was something you'd never felt before, but you knew you needed more of it, and you needed it now. Luckily for you, the fallen angel between your thighs was more than happy to provide. His lips were pressed firmly against your aching cunt while his tongue quickly found your clit. The noises you were making were unholy but you couldn't imagine a more heavenly feeling. He moaned against you desperately, as if your essence was his life source. Without warning, Lucifer tossed your legs over his shoulders to give him better access to his prize. In your haze, you remembered his suggestion and took ahold of his demonic horns, doing your best to keep yourself grounded.
"God damn it," Lucifer snarled, "To think no one has done this for you, f-fuck, what complete and utter fools they were. I've never tasted something so divine." You felt his claws dig into your skin as he forced his tongue deeper into you, drawing out the dirtiest sounds you didn't know you could make.
"F-Feels so g-good," you babbled, your hands tightening around his horns. "P-Please don't stop, I-I..."
One of Lucifer's arms unhooked itself from your leg, his fingers now prodding at your slick. His tongue never stopped circling your clit as you felt a single finger slip inside you with ease. You whimpered from the sudden intrusion. "C'mon baby, need you to cum f'me." Another finger quickly entered you, two of them now thrusting in and out of you. "Let me taste you, all of you." Lucifer's tail swished behind him as he focused on coaxing another orgasm out of you. His tongue and fingers worked together to bring you closer and closer to the edge once more. His fingers curled inside you, your back arching as he hit your most sensitive spot with each motion. "I can feel you clenching...you're so close..."
And he was right. That same coil in your lower stomach was as tight as it could be, the knot threatening to unravel at any moment. "Lucif-fer, I-I'm gonna...fuckfuckfuck-GAAAHHH!" With little warning, your second orgasm hit hard, your walls now pulsating around Lucifer's fingers which refused to stop moving. You felt yourself empty onto his face, your cries filling the room, your hands stinging from how tightly you held onto his horns. As Lucifer helped work you down from your high, you couldn't help but notice the loud slurping sound that came from beneath you. He was lapping your cunt like a man starved. After another moment or two, Lucifer gazed up at you adoringly, his mouth completely drenched in your juices. Your hands flew to your face out of pure embarrassment. How could someone look so happy after basically being assaulted by your orgasm. "Y-You can't just look at me like that after you just did what you did!" you berated him.
"Look at you like what?" he teased, crawling on all fours and closing the gap between you. He gently pulled your hands away from your burning face and gave you the toothiest grin you'd ever seen from him. "Look at you like I'm the luckiest man in existence, you mean?" Lucifer kissed you once more, and you could taste the faintest hint of yourself on his lips. "And by the way, I'm absolutely addicted to your taste now, my angel. I hope you don't mind if I indulge myself every single day from now on. With your permission, of course."
You could only smile at him, caressing his face in your hands and locking your lips together once more. "Who would've thought the devil himself would be this perfect? I'm starting to believe that you may have fully corrupted me, my king."
The way his title rolled off your tongue made Lucifer shudder. "Not quite yet," he corrected. He laid you down gently as he trailed kisses down your neck and collarbone, stopping periodically to nip and suck as many parts of your exposed skin as he could. He then laid his full weight on top of you, and you could feel his hardened cock resting on your stomach. Your mouth ran dry, but you never needed something as much as you needed this. Needed him. To fully claim you and make you his. "Is this what you want?" Lucifer asked. "Because if you're not ready, we can stop right now. I won't be upset if that's what you decide."
You shook your head assuredly. "I'm ready, Lucifer. Even though I may not ever make it into Heaven after this, I'm not sure I want to anymore if it meant I'd have to leave you behind." You could tell by Lucifer's sudden change in expression that the thought of losing you if you were to be redeemed had never crossed his mind. His face fell at the realization, but you reassured him with a quick peck to his forehead. "Don't worry, I'm not going anywhere. And we can worry about the details later. But right now..." you ground your hips up into him, forcing a low moan out of your lover, "...I need you...please…"
"Oh, you're just a little devil, aren't you?” Lucifer chuckled darkly. He then pushed himself off you, settling himself between your legs. The head of his cock teased your entrance, and you gulped in anticipation. "Are you ready?”
"Y-Yes," you murmured. Your body instinctively bucked up in attempt to create more friction that you so desperately craved. Lucifer pressed your hips down firmly into the mattress to keep you from squirming. You whimpered in protest.
“Ah ah ah, all in good time,” Lucifer cooed. “It’s your first time, love, I don’t want to see you in any pain. Stay perfectly still for me, alright?” After what felt like an eternity, Lucifer at last pushed the tip of his cock into you. Your knuckles turned a solid white from the way you gripped the bed sheets beneath you. The pressure you felt was unlike anything else. “A-Are you still okay?” Lucifer asked.
“M-More, please Lucifer, I-I need…” you choked out. He was only an inch deep inside of you and the only thing on your mind was the carnal desire of having him fully sheathed inside of you.
“My pretty girl,” he whispered above you. Inch by inch, his hips pushed forward, stretching you out beyond what you thought was possible. Once he was finally fully inside of you, you and him moaned in unison. The complete fullness you were experiencing was something you needed to be engrained into your memory forever. He didn’t move for a minute or so, letting your body get used to his above average length. He didn’t want to break you. At least, not tonight. "S-So tight, f-fuck..." Lucifer's entire body quivered as his enormous angelic wings magically sprung from his back. You stared up at him in awe, taking in the heavenly sight above you. Your eyes followed from the base of his wings to the very tip. Lucifer noticed your gawking and laughed lightly. "My eyes are over here, darling."
You blushed incredibly hard. "S-Sorry, I didn't mean to stare. It's just...they're beautiful. Can I...? You didn't need to finish your question as Lucifer dropped his wings down, allowing you to reach up and feel them for the first time. You ran your hand down each set, your fingers combing through his scarlet feather. They twitched under your gentle touch. "Are they sensitive?"
"V-Very much," Lucifer breathed. "We can experiment another time, though."
"A-Another time?"
Lucifer looked down you puzzled. "I hope you didn't think this would only be a one time thing. That's not who I am, despite anything you may have heard. When I said I wanted everyone to know you were mine, I didn't mean just for tonight."
Your eyes began to water from his declaration. "You mean..."
Lucifer leaned down and kissed the tears that had began to fall down your cheek. "Yes, I do. I'm yours, if that's what you desire."
You smiled weakly, holding back a sob. "Yes, it is." You brought your hands up, cupping his face and kissing his trembling lips tenderly. Your kiss caused Lucifer to twitch inside of you, quickly reminding you of the pressure between your legs. "Y-You can move now, Lucifer...please..."
With a deep exhale, Lucifer pulled out of you slowly, only to snap his hips back with no hesitation. He repeated this motion, slowly at first, coaxing as many sound out of you as he could. Your cries of pleasure were intoxicating, pulling him deeper and deeper into a state of pure bliss. His hips rutted into you at a steady pace as he continued to hit your G-spot effortlessly with each thrust.
"You're d-doing so well, love," he growled animalistically, "t-taking me so well. You f-feel so good. Too good...Take it all f'me, want you to feel all of m-me. Look how g-good you are, taking the Devil's cock like this."
"L-Lucifer," you mewled. You couldn't form a coherent thought anymore, all you could manage to say was his name. "Lucifer, f-fuuu-uuck...Luciferrr."
"That's it, dear," he praised, the pace of his thrusts quickening. "My name on y-your lips is more beautiful than any melody I ever heard in Heaven." His grip on your hips tightened, pulling you closer to him as he mercilessly pounded into you over and over. "G-God, you're so fucking wet. Slipping in and out of you s-so easily. You g-gonna cum for me again?"
"Y-Yes!" you cried out helplessly. "I'm close, so c-close, I can't..." Your hands flew around his neck as your body shook violently beneath the fallen angel. Your stomach felt like it was in knots, you didn't know how much longer you could hold out. "G-Gonna cu-aaaAAHH,"
"Hold on j-just a little longer, baby," Lucifer said, wrapping his tail around your abdomen. "I'm close too...w-where do you want me to-"
"INSIDE! P-PLEASE!" you screamed, locking your legs behind his back. "I c-can't hold it, Lucifer, I can't, I can't, I CAN'T!"
"Naughty girl..." he taunted lovingly. "Cum for me now, angel. Need t-to feel you clench around me. Cum for me."
The coil inside of you snapped for a third time, your walls pulsating around Lucifer's cock. Your spasms had left Lucifer groaning, his head now resting on your collarbone. His own orgasm washed over him not long after you. You milked his cock, his hot angelic seed filling you up your cunt completely. Wave after wave of pleasure filled you both, reducing you to nothing but exhausted and sweaty messes. He stayed inside of you for a moment longer, both of you trying to recover from your release. Lucifer finally found enough strength to remove himself from you, and at long last reverting back to his normal state. He crashed down on top of you, looking at your through his half-lidded eyes and pulling you into a crushing hug.
"Lucifer...can't...breathe..." you forced out, tapping his shoulder rapidly. His grip on you loosened immediately.
"I'm sorry!" he apologized. "I forget my own strength sometimes. H-How are you feeling?"
Your faced flushed as you tucked your hair behind your ear. "G-Good. More than good. That was...just incredible!" you couldn't help but laugh to yourself.
"What's so funny, dear?" Lucifer asked with an amused look.
You smiled at him. "Oh, you know just...I was thinking about how I would go about explaining myself to my friends and family back on Earth. How the well behaved, never strayed from the light church girl just had the best sex of her life with the one and only fallen angel Lucifer. Wonder how well that would go over! They probably think I made it into Heaven!"
Lucifer laughed along with you, pulling you flush to his chest. "I'll admit, it's pretty ironic. But to be fair, I never would have thought you'd give me a chance."
You looked up at him confused. "What do you mean?"
"Well, you know, I am 'the bad guy' to believers. The winners always write history, and according to Heaven, I was the loser. And when I found out you were one of them when you were alive, I didn't think you'd even glance in my direction. I thought you were the most stunning creature I'd ever laid my eyes on when you first arrived here at the hotel. But I never truly pursued you because...the bad guy never gets the girl, right?"
You couldn't help but frown as he spoke. His voice was sad, full of hurt. It was clear that Lucifer has suffered though a lot of pain and anguish. You were told the story of Eden growing up, of how Lucifer had deceived Eve and in doing so, caused the downfall of humanity. But that was clearly only one side of the story. You gave a quick peck to his cheek. "You're not a bad guy, Lucifer. I know that now. I let my fear and my upbringing cloud my judgement before. Not anymore. I want to hear your side of the story, every detail. Will you stay with me and tell me?"
Lucifer's eyes softened, his lips forming into a tiny smile. "I'd love nothing more." He brought his hand to your cheek, leaning in to capture your lips once more.
~~~
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10,000 GOD DAMN WORDS, WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED?!?! ANYWAY, I HOPED YOU LIKED IT!
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racinggirl · 20 hours
Text
you always will be
a/n: As a dedication to our boy's FIRST FORMULA ONE WIN, here a story that hopefully will be appreciated and loved. It's very different from my usual stories, and it may need some sort of trigger warning or just a warning in general. We don't always get what we want, and life can really be a bitch. Everybody struggles, it might not always be seen. I'm here for you <3
Warnings: mentions of car accident, hospital, breakup, swearing, death, cemetery, and some fluff bc I'm not THAT cruel
Also, please leave a comment/reblog, anything that makes me feel like you absolutely loved this story. It can also be a tip, anything to make my writing better and more enjoyable for you, thank you
Enjoy 🧡
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Winning a race was something he dreamt of. Winning a race meant all his worries disappeared like snow in the sun.
‘You can’t win, you always fuck up’
‘Russia 2021 was the closest you’d been to a win, you’ll never get that chance again’
‘You should have switched teams when you had the chance’
No more. He won, and he’d be damned if he would ever let any hate comment, any judging advice or any disrespectful tone push you further away from him than you already were. He won, but somehow it felt like he lost.
‘’Mate, I don’t get it. Help me understand, okay? You won your first Formula One race. You gave all of them haters a big fuck you. You proved them wrong. The team’s proud of you, everyone’s cheering you on.’’
It was true, everyone was proud of him, everyone cheered for him, chanting his name after the podium ceremony. Everyone. But one person.
‘’Hello? Lando?’’ Max seemed worried, he knew something was bothering his best friend, he knew him through and through. ‘’You’re confusing me, mate. What’s the matter? Aren’t you happy? You can’t be too hard on yourself now, mate, you wo-…’’
‘’It’s her!’’ He finally snapped, all the emotions he had bottled up and put in that jar, stashed away somewhere on the back shelf of his heart AND brain sneaked its way through and made a reappearance.
‘’I won! Yes, I fucking won! But at what cost?! I lost her mate! I won and she wasn’t here. That doesn’t mean I fucking won. I lost, I lost it all, I lost her…’’
Max let out a heavy sigh. He knew something was bothering his friend, and he had a slight feeling it would have had something to do with the girl that stole his heart. See, you and Lando go way back, and you’d always thought you’d end up together, whether it was in England, in Monaco, it didn’t matter, what mattered was that it’d always been the two of you together, till it wasn’t.
‘’Lando…’’ Here it was again, the 'I feel sorry for you, but you need to move on' speech, which sometimes Lando could appreciate, but not now, not at a moment like this. However, he remained silent.
‘’Look, mate, I know it’s hard, okay? You.. You’ve dreamt of this moment for years, and I’m sure she’d have been by your side in all those dreams, but…’’
‘’But reality is, she isn’t. I know Max, I know.’’ Lando ran his face through his hair, then over his face. ‘’I’m going to get a shower.’’
‘’Lando..’’
‘’I’m gonna shower, Max, I’d appreciate it if you’d leave and let me fucking shower!’’ Lando snapped, he never did, but today was full of too many emotions he couldn’t handle, too many mixed emotions that made the bucket spill over.
Raising his arms in defence, Max stepped back and nodded, slowly. He knew Lando needed time, but tonight was the after party, Zak had scheduled the flight for this evening back by a day, which meant they were planning on partying all night long.
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‘’No, Lando, it’s not okay!’’ Your hands rose up in the air, toward your hair as you tugged on it, gently, but enough to let your frustrations out. ‘’It’s not okay, how is this okay?’’
‘’I… We’ll make it work, I promise you we’ll mak-‘’
‘’Stop trying to fix everything! Some things just can’t get fixed, okay?!’’
Lando and you were like two puzzle pieces that fit, perfectly fine. But what happens when one day, the piece that made those two pieces of the puzzle once a whole, disappeared. Broke off. Got thrown away which made it almost impossible for those two pieces to ever become whole again.
You loved him, more than anything in this whole entire world. You were determined to give up everything you ever had to be with him, to support him through thick and thin and you would never. Ever. Give up on each other...
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‘’It’s been 4 months, give him some time.’’ Pietra’s reassuring hand made its way to Max’ shoulder.
It’d been 4 months since you and Lando broke up. You’d said your goodbyes at the airport after the two of you decided it was best to part ways. Lando tried almost everything to keep you at his side, but he knew that loving also meant letting go. That was the hardest part of a breakup, though, but he’d manage. Or so he thought.
You were lying when you said the breakup hadn’t torn your heart apart. It felt like it went through a shredder and every time you’d tried to pick up a piece and place it back, it didn’t fit. There were pieces missing, some things were upside down, backwards, or not even in the right place. It was heart-breaking.
Your breakup was something that nobody had seen coming, the fans, your friends, heck, not even the two of you saw it coming. You had always been different, but that didn’t stop you. Where you loved to stay at home and read a book, Lando loved to go out with his friends, plan his schedule full of events and parties. You’d join him, every now and then, but you preferred staying home.
Until you didn’t. But then it was too late.
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‘’My parent’s need me back home.’’ You explained, the warm cup of tea in your hand preventing you from shivering. You and Lando were outside, watching the snow fall down the sky and onto the grass of his back yard in London.
‘’Alright, I can come if you want me to, I’m free till-..’’
‘’No, Lando, they need me back home, permanently.’’ You let out a shaky sigh, tears prickling behind your eyeballs as you kept your gaze focussed on your tea.
You had lived with Lando for almost 3 years now, the two of you dating for more than 5 years by the time you moved in together. Your parents knew his parents, and so the ball went rolling till it came to a stop in front of the two of you.
‘’What? But…’’
‘’I know.’’ Your voice was barely a whisper, the tears that you were desperately trying to hold back now made its appearance. Your parents were sick, both of them. You loved them more than anything, so leaving them and going to London, then to Monaco with the love of your life made you both happy and sad.
‘’No, Y/N, baby listen please, we can make it work. Okay? I’ll come over every month, we’ll do it together, I can…’’ But he knew everything he was saying was a lost cause. Your parents needed you, and as much as he wanted you to be with him, he knew you loved your parents. He’d never forgive himself if you staying with him meant you’d barely see your parents again.
‘’You know we can’t. We’ve been over this before.’’ Your voice was breaking more and more every word. ‘’It’s okay.’’ You whispered, the tea in your hands not being enough to keep you warm anymore. ‘’It’ll be okay…’’
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‘’… on your win. And let’s make this party one to remember!’’ Cheers were hearable in the entire club, Lando being one of them. He laughed, partied, and celebrated. He won, he couldn’t ignore that, but that didn’t mean he didn’t think of how it could have been.
His job was hectic, of course. Being a Formula One driver – a race winning Formula One driver – meant events, races, meetings, and mostly, fame. You knew that if Lando would have stayed with you, if you would have done what he wanted – which was coming over once every month, it would bring attention to you and indirectly, to your parents, who could not use the attention at all.
After you and your parents got in a horrific car accident a few years after you and Lando started dating, the media was all over it. You barely had a chance to recover before the media would send you emails; press would be in front of your house and Lando’s interviews were all about how you and your parents were doing. It wasn’t healthy, at all. The press that did those things soon got boycotted by his fans, but that wasn’t the point here. They were there, they took away that bit of privacy you’d loved and cherished even more when Lando got more well known in the racing industry. When he joined Formula One.
You recovered completely – thankfully – but your parents, that was a whole other story. Both in a coma, one worse than the other, and the survival chances were low. Miraculously though, they woke up. The first 6 months, they had to stay at the hospital. Their wishes were to go home, so after 6 months, the hospital arranged things here and there so they could recover at home.
However, 2 years after the accident, you got the worst news possible. The car accident you and your parents were in caused your parents to both have brain damage, severely. They would need 24/7 care, and they would not get better. It was the worst possible scenario, but Lando was always there for you.
You just couldn’t do it, not with his fame, his busy schedule, your work. You worked from home, something you rearranged the moment you recovered from the car accident. It was the best option; you’d be able to work whenever you wanted, you could join Lando for his races. You could work from Monaco, England, it didn’t matter. You could work at home whenever Lando had a triple header, so you could take care of your parents whilst working from your laptop.
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‘’You know they need me, and I love you so much, I…’’ The tears were streaming down your face after you had finished packing everything from Lando’s apartment – you were leaving.
‘’Shh..’’ Lando’s tears had dried on his cheeks, the sight of seeing you pack all your clothes in suitcases was the worst thing he’d ever seen. ‘’I know, sunshine, I know, but it’s okay. We’ll be okay.’’ He mumbled with the sorest throat from crying. He knew there was no more ‘we’ after you stepped out of that door. It was a commitment you made to each other.
‘If I need to go back and take care of them, move on. I don’t want you to spend the rest of your life waiting for me because I don’t know how long that’s going to take. I can’t expect you to put a hold on your life and come with me. You have a career, and I need you to put that on number one, be selfish, please.’
He always responded with the same thing. ‘’It doesn’t matter, you are my number one, you always will be.’’
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‘’Lando Norris, your number one!’’ The music was pounding in his ears, the smile he had put on for this evening was fading slightly. When there was no camera around him, he’d let it drop, what was there to smile about?
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Three months later
Moving on from a breakup was one thing, moving on from a breakup in which both individuals still loved each other but had to let go was another. Moving on from a breakup after finding out your parents had 2 more months to live, was impossible.
Your parents passed away 4 months ago, 3 months after you and Lando broke up. It was the hardest period of your life, and at some point, you weren’t even sure if you wanted to live the life you’d known for so long.
You’ve thought to yourself multiple times, why not go back to Lando? Tell him your parents passed away and everything would be okay. But that’s not the first thing that crosses your mind after your parents pass away. Especially not within the first four months of them being gone.
The number of times you’ve gotten close to pressing call on your ex-boyfriend’s number had been too many to count, but you couldn’t get yourself to do it. What were you going to say?
‘Hey Lando, yeah, my parents passed away, so I don’t have another thing to do, let’s get back together?’
Yeah, no. Not a chance.
You’ve watched his race win so many times it almost felt like you were there. You could imagine what it would have been like to be there, knowing the crew and drivers.
Why hadn’t you called him yet? Or why hadn’t you tried to congratulate him, reach out to his friends? No idea, you were still in that grieving state and you weren’t sure if you were going to break out of it.
That was until, one day, you saw this quote. It’s stupid to think one quote can change one’s perspective on things, but this one did.
‘If you don’t do it now, don’t regret it later.’
It was hard, doing the things you did, but not impossible. Impossible was getting over the death of your parents AND not having the one person you’ve loved more than anything not be there to help you through it.
So, you did it. You got in that car, which was something you’ve been avoiding after the accident, till Lando helped you get back into it. Your fingers dug into the leather of your father’s car, the one they left to you. Just like they left everything to you, the house, the money, the company.
A weak smile appeared on your face, so many memories in just one movement, one moment. The road was long, far, you had to stop at a hotel for a night of sleep before continuing your lonely road trip to London. Back to him. Because if you didn’t do it now, you would regret it later, and that’s something you couldn’t live with.
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Another long day at the factory, more meetings, more shaking hands, interviews, you name it. His feet dragged him through the entire factory, not once, but three times already – and it was just lunch time. Things were better, he still missed you, but he was starting to accept it, just that, though, because moving on was impossible for him.
It wasn’t when one of the mechanics he always had lunch with called your name, that he turned his head so fast it would have almost gotten him a whiplash from the force and the speed. Your name, you were there, here.
A weak smile appeared on your lips. It wasn’t an easy choice, contacting Max, ignoring all his questions because you needed to see where he was, where the man you loved – and never stopped loving – was. It was bold, he might have moved on, gotten a new girlfriend, but you dug around the internet and didn’t see any signs of that being the case.
‘’Hey..’’
He was a race car driver, so he was fast, – very – fast. But the speed of which he got up and ran to you was another level. Your arms didn’t hesitate once. They found their way back around his neck, his positioned at your waist as always, and he looked into your eyes for a brief second, just to check, just to make sure that what he was about to do was okay. It was more than okay.
Your lips melted together instantly, his soft, warm lips immediately welcomed your slightly colder – due to the air-conditioning in the car – and even softer ones in a heartbeat. It felt good, it felt so good, you lost track of time, place and it was just the two of you in this moment. You did not regret it.
‘’Congratulations on your win, champ.’’ Your breath was a bit more rapid, your voice a lot hoarser than you would have liked it to be, but that didn’t matter. All that mattered was that you had found your way back to him, like you always would have.
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4 years later
It was no longer impossible. It was hard, for sure, but the moment you stood in front of their gravestones, your hand intertwined with his and a weak smile on your lips, you were exactly where you were meant to be.
‘’Mom, dad..’’ You whispered, head resting against Lando’s chest as he pressed a delicate kiss to your temple. Your hand rested on top of Lando’s, who had a protected arm around you, his hand rubbing small circles on your stomach. You played with his ring for a few seconds before you swallowed the lump in your throat. You looked up at your husband, who gave you a reassuring smile as you placed the tiny shoes on top of their gravestones.
‘’You’re gonna be grandparents…’’
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boiohboii · 2 days
Text
A broken house
(Charles leclerc x daughter! Reader)
Masterlist
I just saw remembered this heartbreaking scene from an old theatre play (is that what they're called?), like when colors on tv first became a thing old, and I just had to write it down. WARNING: implications of cheating, abandoning children, Charles is not a good guy at all, a daughter confronting her dad, not proofread, just something quick right before bed
Charles never imagined he would ever be in this situation.
When he first held yn in his arms, his precious, precious daughter, his oldest and the apple of his eyes, he vowed to never hurt her, to never see her cry and to never let her expirence heartbreak, so what was he supposed to do when she's standing right in front of him cheeks flushed, fists by her side and angry tears falling out of her eyes.
He was the reason, he was the reason and he never thought he'd be. And to make it all worse, he doesn't feel sorry. He doesn't know where it all went wrong and he doesn't know when he became so cold-hearted towards the sunshine of his life, his pride and joy. But it's too late now, too late to try and talk, too late to try to explain and too late to even get a speck of the love yn held in her eyes for him. He knew it was too late. It was just too late.
"So what," yn refused to accept her father's silence, she needed to hear him say it, admit to his wrongdoings "you're just gonna leave us?"
"You don't understand," Charles tried to reason, his eyes not even meeting his daughter's identical ones "she needs help."
"THAT'S YOUR REASON!" yn's voice boomed through the empty house, thanking anything and everything that her mother and siblings aren't home yet "that's your reason to abandon us! What about mum huh? what about your wife? The woman WHO SACRIFICED HER YOUTH FOR YOU! TO FOLLOW YOU! TO HELP YOU! And what of my siblings, what are they gonna do? What did they do to deserve this? What did any of us do to deserve this?"
Yn looked at her father, slowly walking towards him, she refused to believe that's the same man who showed her what love is, who carried her on her shoulders to hear her laughter, who promised to sheild her from the world's treachery. It left a bitter taste in her mouth, the man who promised to protect her is the one clawing at her heart and watching it bleed, too much of a coward to even lift his eyes from the floor.
"Please," yn's voice broke as she thought of her home tearing apart, her mother and her baby siblings "please take a moment and think about it, about our family, just for five minutes. Please."
"I'm not going to waste my time."
Yn's breath hitched in her throat, her voice gaining power as her disappointment and anger took over, yet still so quite.
"All four of us don't even deserve five minutes of your time. Are you that impatient to leave with her? Don't worry, I won't hold you back, but I swear to you, I swear on everything that you believe in that you will regret it. There will be a day where you will wish for the time to go back for an hour, a minute or even a second, you will wish you'd have thought this through and really kept in mind who actually loved you before you ruined it all. But even if all the years turn back, we will never forgive you, we will never miss you and we will never think of you as the man you once were. We will never love you again."
Yn doesn't know where it all went wrong, she doesn't know how could 20 years of loving someone, your father, all just go down the drain because of one voice call. She doesn't know what she's supposed to do or what's she supposed to tell her mother, her siblings, her grandparents, but she knew one thing; it was too late to try and talk her father out of it, too late to not let this moment tarnish all the good memories they had together, too late to even leave a bit of her love for her father in her heart. It was just too late.
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eddiesxangel · 2 days
Text
So High School | E.M x Reader
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TJ's 2K Request Celebration
@ilovewomen0099 Request: So High School - Taylor Swift. I hope it’s what you wanted 🩷
Cw: tooth rotting FLUFF, making out, date night, allusions to smut.
wc: 1.2k
And in a blink of a crinkling eye
I'm sinking, our fingers entwined
Cheeks pink in the twinkling lights
“Babe, look!” Eddie points to the rickety wooden Ferris Wheel that didn’t look all that trustworthy.
“I don’t know about that one?” You hold back.
“Why? Are you scared? He taunts you as he pulls you in closer.
You’re in the middle of the fairgrounds, but you don’t care; the other people can walk around you.
“No.” You counter back, but it’s not very convincing.
“Don’t worry I’ll protect you.” He catches you off guard by peppering your face with so many kisses you’ve lost count.
Nothing made you feel as light and airy as Eddie had. Nobody could ever compare. You know he is in it for you, even if you’ve just started dating, you can feel it; he’s the one.
“Come in, scaredy cat,” he grins before pulling you to the line.
Eddie admired the twinkling lights that reflected off your skin as you gripped onto him for dear life. Somehow, he convinced you to come up with him.
“I might loose circulation in this arm but it was worth it.”
You snort in response at his lame joke. “Tell me how this is worth it.”
“Because you look so beautiful.” He tucks a piece of hair caught in the wind behind your ear, and you swear your heart skips a beat. Suddenly, you feel like you're sixteen and back in high school. Any time Eddie looks at you, you act like a schoolgirl all over again.
Tell me 'bout the first time you saw me
Walking together, fingers not daring to let go of one another’s, even if Eddie’s chunky rings were digging into your skin.
“You know the first time I saw you I ran and hid.” Eddie admits sheepishly.
“What?” you giggle, confused by the admission.
“God, I don’t know why I’m telling you this; you just bring it out in me, baby.”
“Please tell me” you give him the good old puppy eye look that you’ve figured out that he can’t resist.
“Ok, um-well, Dustin and I were getting coffee before Hellfire because, you know, we need our energy, and you were in line ahead of us. I didn't see you at first, but when you turned to your friend- I think you were with Tara? I'm not sure I wasn't really focused on her because when I saw you...you made my heart skip a beat, I swear. I didn't know how to approach you, so I told Dustin to order my coffee and hid in the bathroom." He rambled.
"Eddie-"
"Dustin busted my balls the whole night about it, too."
"So you saw me before?"
"Yes, and I let you slip away so you could imagine how grateful I was when I saw you again that night we met." Eddie wrapped an arm around your waist, pulling you closer, never wanting to let you go. He couldn't believe what his life would have been like if he had lost you in the crowd at Steve's party that night.
You felt an infectious sense of giddiness, reminiscent of a schoolgirl, every time you were with Eddie. Even though you knew it was the honeymoon phase, you cherished every single moment spent with him.
"Well, I first saw you at Steve's part and knew I had to have you. Your bad boy metal thing really got me going," you giggle.
"All a part of the brand, baby"
Are you gonna marry, kiss, or kill me?
It's just a game, but really
I'm bettin' on all three for us two
As you were walking to the fairgrounds, you stumbled upon the Fortune teller's tent. Eddie gives you a knowing look, but you pull him along anyway.
"If you made me get on that Ferris Wheel, we are so doing this."
Before Eddie could argue how much of a scam this would be, you tugged his jacket sleeve and pulled him into the red and white striped tent.
The inside of the tent was a mesmerizing sight. Colourful fabrics and intricately designed rugs adorned the space, creating a warm and mystical atmosphere. Glittering crystals hung from the ceiling, catching the light and casting prismatic reflections across the interior. In the center of the tent, a small circular table stood, its surface adorned with intricate carvings and holding a clear crystal ball that seemed to shimmer with an otherworldly glow. Seated at the table was an elderly woman with long, faded red hair that cascaded down her back. She was dressed in a dark green robe that seemed to blend with the surroundings, and her nails were painted black and extended six inches, adding an air of all-knowing.
"Well, well, what do we have here?" she sheepishly grinned.
"Hello, this is my boyfriend, Eddie, and I'm Y/N."
"Shouldn't she know that?" Eddie scoffed under his breath.
"Welcome, non-believer and his lovely girlfrined."
"See, she knows!" You nudge his side with your elbow.
"Babe, are you kidding me?"
You ignore him, plop him down, and sit in his lap, seeing only one chair.
"What is it you seek?" She quirks a brow.
"Nothing specific; tell us what you see for us.
"Baby, I don't think that's a good idea?"
"Hush." You shush him, and Eddie holds his tongue. He loved when you took charge, but this was a bit much even for Eddie.
You turn to the wise-looking woman across from you and watch as she examines you before taking out the tarot cards. She shuffled messily and flipped over three onto the table. You looked intently as you saw the lover's car, the three cups and the empress.
"What's the verdict? She going to marry, kiss or kill me?" Eddie jokes, and you playfully smack his chest.
"I see all good things here; you have a strong relationship with a potent feminine energy. Your friends support this union as do your family."
"Does that say lovers? Am I getting banged tonight?" Eddie whispers in your ear.
"Not if you keep it up." ou wiggle your ass into his crotch only to tease him more.y
"I feel confident in this power dynamic; you can keep him in his place while submitting when needed."
"She submits alright." Eddie snorts, and your eyes go wide with mortification.
"Edward!" you cry.
"Exactly my point. That will be thirty-five dollars."
Get my car door, isn't that sweet?
Then pull me to the backseat
No one's ever had me, not like you.
"M'lady," Eddie's oh-so-grandiose display of chivalry didn't go unnoticed as he swung open the back of the van door so you could put your giant plushie he won you in the back.
"Thank you, kind Sir." you present curtsy and reach into the van to place your giant teddy bear on the floor.
Eddie brushes past you, popping himself into the van before pulling you in after him. Quickly, he shuts the door and sits you both in the back bench seat pulling you into a needy kiss.
"Waited to do that all damn night." his hands find your ass cheeks as you're sat in his lap.
"We made out on that death trap you call a ride," you mumble into his mouth, and Eddie sees this as an opportunity to deepen the kiss. His tongue enters your mouth, and you sense the urgency in which he needs you.
"Okay, big boy, let's take this party home."
"What, you don't want to fuck me in the parking lot like a couple of hory kids?"
"Please, that's so high school."
Tagging some of my swiftie mooties : @andvys @taintedcigs @ghost-proofbaby @ceriseheaven
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moonstruckme · 3 days
Text
Honeydew
I'm doing a rewatch of the bear and god he is just so irresistable. My childhood crush on lip gallagher has been revived and given new purpose! I can't promise to write for carmy consistently but if y'all have requests I wouldn't be opposed to them :)
cw: blood 
Carmy Berzatto x fem!reader ♡ 972 words
There are tons of benefits to being in the same kitchen as a classically trained chef. For one, Carmy always gives you the easy tasks. Stirring pasta, scrambling eggs, chopping scallions. Today, you’re cutting up melon while he whips up some kind of citrus sauce, because your boyfriend is incapable of making just a fruit salad. No, it has to have some kind of fancy factor, or else they’ll take away his star, you guess. (Not that you’re complaining. That sauce is gonna be awesome.)
One thing that doesn’t tend to feel like a benefit is that any time you mess something up, you feel about three times more stupid than you would if you were by yourself. 
How were you supposed to guess that instead of cutting down through the melon when you try to slice it in half, the tip of the giant knife you’re using would come jutting out of the melon and embed itself in your palm. 
You gasp and pull away on instinct, and for a second, can only stare at the strangeness of it. You can see straight through to the inside of your hand, which is as unsettling as it is sickening, freezing you in morbid fascination until blood wells to the surface and your brain catches up to what’s happened. 
“What?” Carmy asks flatly, having heard your gasp and well used to your kitchen mishaps. 
You tear a paper towel off the roll, jamming it over the wound and fisting your hand around it. “I cut myself,” you say, somewhat shakily. 
“How bad?” 
You look down at the knife, miraculously clean-looking despite the blood now flowing from your hand. The paper towel is already starting to feel damp with it. 
You use your good hand to take the knife out of the melon, setting it in the sink so you don’t forget to wash it. “I don’t—” You’ve never cut yourself this deep before. You don’t know how bad is bad. “It seems not great.” 
You startle when a tattooed hand wraps around your elbow. 
“Chill,” Carmy says, turning you around to face him. He takes your wrist. “Open your hand.” 
“I can’t.” Panic makes your throat hot and tight. “It’s bleeding a lot.” 
“Let me see,” he says, trying to pry your fingers away from your curled-up hand. 
“I think it’s fine.” There are tears in your voice, and sometimes you wish Carmy was the type of person whose emotions naturally adjusted to balance out those around him, but your alarm only works him up. 
“Let me see,” he insists sharply, and you don’t have the will to resist, letting him unfold your fingers. You flinch as he removes the paper towel, blood running quickly into the crevices of your palm. 
“Shit,” Carmy hisses, tugging it over the sink. Your hand looks like a delta of crimson streams. He picks the paper towel up again, dabbing roughly so he can see the cut better. 
“Do you think it needs stitches?” you worry aloud, then immediately want to hit yourself. Even if he says it does, you think you’ll push back, too fearful of hospitals and needles and odd, stinging pains to consent to getting them. 
Your boyfriend is quiet, bending close to your hand as he lifts the paper towel again, and your voice goes a bit shrill. “Carm?” 
“No,” he says, staunching the wound again. 
Relief washes over you like a warm tide. Still, you ask, “How do you know?” 
Carmy presses your fingers closed like they had been, loosing a breath as he gives your fist a light squeeze. “I’ve seen enough cuts that do need stitches to know the difference. What the hell did you do?” 
You try to breathe out like he had, but your chest still feels too tight. You can feel your heart beating in your hand. “I don’t know,” you admit. “The knife slipped and went through the skin, or, like, the peel.” 
His brows knit together, and Carmy picks your knife up from the sink. You have no clue what he sees that you don’t, his eyes narrowing, but he shoots you a look once he’s done, setting it back down. 
“It’s dull,” he says, like this is a punishable offense. Maybe in his kitchen, it is. “This is why we keep our knives sharp, so these fuck-ups don’t happen.” 
“How was I supposed to know sharp knives were less dangerous?” You’re trying to joke, but your voice comes out watery. You press your lips together as adrenaline catches up to you, your vision blurring. 
“Relax.” Carmy sounds tired. His grip is strong, though, as he wrestles you into a hug, thick arms banding across your shoulders. You feel stupid, and silly, and he can tell, his hand cupping the back of your neck as tears carve hotly down your cheeks. “You’re just supposed to know.” 
You laugh wetly, breaking up some of the emotion knotted in your chest. Carmy pulls back until he can see your face. His hand moves to the side of your neck, thumb pressed against your jaw. 
“You’re okay,” he says firmly. “Does it hurt?” 
You shake your head. “Not really, I was just scared.” Your lips wobble pathetically, tears dribbling off your chin. “And you yelled at me.” 
Carmy blows out a breath, his mouth slanting wryly. “That wasn’t yelling,” he says, but brings his other hand to your face, brushing your tears away with his thumbs. “I’m sorry.” 
“It’s okay,” you choke out, pushing against his hands until he gives in, letting you fold yourself into his chest again. “I’m sorry I didn’t sharpen my knife.” 
“I’ll do it for you later.” You can feel his biceps bulging as he tightens his grip on you, holding you closer. “But there’s no fucking way we’re using that melon now.” 
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unluckilyimnot · 1 day
Note
hiiiii, can I please request bonten hc after they found out someone disrespected their gf!!
Bonten when their gf is disrespect
Character: Ran, Rindou, Koko, Sanzu, Mikey
m.list | rules
Note: I wrote that last night I forgot about the "find out" so there's both sorry 😞 thank you sm for your request 🤍
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Ran
I hope for the poor guy that it's not in front of him or he can pray for his life and it's gonna be useless
Spoiler it is
It's not written on Ran's face that he's going to kill him, but everyone in the room tensed up at his "excuse me ?"
Your jaw is clenched but you feel so angry and ashamed, you really don't want to help this guy rn
As he started to stammer some useless excuse, Ran shush him instantly
"Come again ? I'm not sure i heard you right"
He's a sadistic, he wants his skin ripped of his body
He lied, not repeating at all his words
Not knowing it's gonna be worse
"So you lie to me now on top of insulting my lover?"
The second he stand up you know it's the end for him
He take one hit, then another, and another
Ran probably exposed a full bottle of alcohol on top of his head to end it
"Never again, do you hear me ?" He said, bend down to his level
Hoping that he made it clear to everyone in the room that disrespecting you it's worse than disrespecting him
Rindou
He got angry and doesn't wait to stand up
They don't even get to finish their sentence that their face is somehow already hitting the table
Doesn't matter where you are, he's never gonna let that slide
"Hey you think you're more important than her to speak shit like that ?"
He hits him until he answers, grabbing his face fiercely, letting the blood of his nose and mouth run down his fingers
"I didn't hear you ?"
If he's already knock down, he call the security to leave him in the street
He excuses himself to you all night even if you tell him it's not his fault, he thinks it is
He's suppose to make sure that all his subordinates respect you
Koko
"What ??"
You tell him what happened tear his eyes off his computer
He's in disbelief, this can't be true
He frown ad you go on with your story, walking in circles in front of his desk
He has to get up and catches you for you to stop but he can tell how upset you are
He will ask for their name again, and calm you down, smoothing your back
kindly whipping the frustration tears that show up in your eyes
He would probably take you out on a nice dinner to clear your head
You won't hear about it for a few days
But one day you'll wake up to see that their company went bankrupt and that they were found dead in their appartement, seemly suicide
If you ask Koko, he'll say he doesn't know about it but deep down you know he did it
Sanzu
He's mad to say the least
He wants to end them himself
You're tough, he knows you can handle your business alone but he just can't stand it
He'll find him himself to make him understand that that's not something you said to someone on of the higher-ups of Bonten loves
If there's one thing Sanzu put at the same place as Mikey, it's you
It's like disrespecting his boss, he can't let it unpunished
He'll probably step into their place and shot them down if there's no-one important
If they happen to be, he'll just make sure to make things complicated for them until they beg for help/found
Mikey
You're so precious he can't even picture someone talking you badly
But on top of that, you're the Bonten's boss gf, they really don't know what they're doing
But he won't handle it himself
He's too busy making sure you know your worth and make it up for you
He just make sure they suffer for good while he's having a good time with you
If it happened in front of him though, they're shot down without thinking
He can always find someone better, he doesn't need someone that don't respect him, and by that he means disrespecting you as well
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It's been a while ! I hope you liked it ♡
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gxtfictx · 2 days
Note
I literally love the way you write emily! could you please do something like Morgan or anyone on the team points out how clingy you are around her so you get insecure, but Emily makes it better? thank you💕
hi anon 👋 ofc i can!! i love this concept ❤️
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summary: Morgan says something that upsets you, thankfully Emily knows exactly what to do (basically the ask lol) tw: smut, shower sex, oral sex, idk i'm tired i think that's all a/n: i'm trying to do your requests, like you guys already know i can't promise i will make them all, but you're still very welcome to try! Like & reblog as always <3
You had spent a whole week on LA on this last case, more than 3 women had been murdered before you caught the unsub, which means you desperately needed a long night sleep, preferably wrapped in your girlfriend's arms.
You're sitting on the window seat, keeping the one next to it free for her, she smiles when her eyes meet yours, and sits next to you, you surround her with your arm, kissing her cheek, she moves to peck your lips as well
"hey baby" you whisper, your mouth close to hers
"hey" she answers with the sweetest voice, you can sense she also wants to get home as soon as possible.
Your other hand wraps around her leg, squeezing it
"I'm gonna go for a tea, ok? you want one?" she asks getting up, wrapping herself off of you "yeah that'd be nice" you answer, the silliest smile on your face.
"ugh, you two get a room" Morgan's voice makes you lift your head, the smile instantly erased form your face.
"What do you mean?" you ask, he has never pointed you two out before, so it surprises you
"c'mon, can't you spend 2 seconds without touching her? we were just at the airport and you were all over each other, i could not handle someone being so clingy" you're too baffled to say anything. Clingy? you had never thought about it, you loved your girlfriend so much it came natural to you hugging her and touching her, the possibility that she didn't like it had never crossed your mind.
Morgan couldn't be bothered about it, he put his headphones back on as soon as he dropped the unfriendly comment.
"there you go baby" Emily said, handing you your cup, you take it, a small smile to thank her, and you lay back to the window.
As much as you're trying you can't seem to get Morgan's comment out of your head, you never wanted to suffocate Emily, you just wanted her to feel loved, maybe she was just ashamed to tell you how uncomfortable it made her.
You sip your tea, looking out the window, "hey" Emily grabs your cup when you're finished and opens her arm offering you to lay on it
"I think I'm gonna try to sleep now, ok?" you tell her, and turn around to lay your head on the window.
You can tell se knows there's something going on, she frowns, you can feel her stare, but finally let's it go, and gets back to her book.
☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°
When you finally get back to your apartment, Emily throws her bag away, and you do the same, moving to sit on the couch to take your shoes off more comfortably.
"Well, I desperately need a shower, you coming?" she asks as she takes her shirt off
"Yeah, you go" you don't even look at her to answer, trying to focus on untying your shoes, you keep your head down.
Emily stands on the middle of the hallway, she looks at you, raising an eyebrow, now she knows there's definitely something going on.
"You're not gonna shower, love?" she asks, a concerned tone on her voice "Yeah, sure, you can go first tho"
Your girlfriend was too stunned to speak. It wasn't like you to turn down the offer of showering together, you couldn't remember a time when you had said no to a shower with Emily, specially after a case.
She would always lather your back soothingly, you didn't even always have sex (although it was quite common), sometimes you would simply enjoy the warm water stream, you would take care of each other, wrap yourselves into a warm embrace that could last minutes, and she would always lend you her clothes afterwards, there was no other feeling better than going to sleep clean and fresh into your girlfriend's clothes, wrapped around each other. What do you mean you don't want to shower with her?
"So, you will wait for me to shower, and you will go after me? first on the plane, now this? Baby, is something wrong? Did i do something to upset you?" you lift your head to look at her after getting rid of your shoes, her big brown eyes reflect the worry on her voice, she looks to you carefully to see what is going on.
"no, it's nothing, i just... i just don't want to be too clingy, you know?" you finally reveal. Her mouth tenses up, and she bites her lip. You know your girlfriend way too well to know that's one of her classic faces, it's the one that says -ok now i see-. She walks up to you, sitting right next to you on the couch, places her hand on your thigh soothingly.
"Baby, who told you that?" you don't wanna say, you don't want her to get upset too, but the way she runs her palm over your leg to soothe your worries makes you want to tell her everything she asked for.
"Well, Morgan, he suggested i could be suffocating you" when you say it aloud it sounds ridiculous, since when do you care about what Morgan says? About what any man has to say about your relationship? His words had just sunk into you way more than you could've expected.
"what did he say?" she licks her lips out of impotence "Because after a whole career on the fbi i'm considering murder just now" you laugh it off, blinking to avert the tears pickering your eyes.
"he said if i was his girlfriend, he would feel suffocated by how clingy i am, and how i can't keep my hands off of you" her eyes scan your face, runs her hand up and down your thigh "ok, i'm sure gonna kill Morgan tomorrow" you both chuckle "well he is kind of right, i mean we can barely spend an hour off of each other" you say trying to make sense out of the situation
"ok, so you are clingy, so what?" her voice raises a bit towards the end, a couple of notes higher, you can't help but to smile, you think it's too cute.
"I love touching you" the hand that was resting on your thigh now gets higher to rest on your waist, her other hands moves up to your neck, her thumb caressing your face "I love it when you touch me" her face gets closer, the tip of her nose brushing against your cheek, you close your eyes relaying on the touch
"I love feeling you close" she moves to sit closer to you on the couch (if that is even possible at this point) her hand keeps moving up and down your back, she kisses your cheek, "and i don't care about what anyone has to say about that, i don't want you to care about it ether" her words sink into you, everything is basically forgotten.
"I want you to touch me, to feel me" she moves your hand, previously resting on your side, she places it on her waist, and you take it upon yourself to grab her face with your other hand.
Closing the small space between you, your lips collapse in a deep kiss, Emily holds you. The kiss is quite sensual. Emily takes her time and eases your mouth open, slowly pushing in her skilled tongue into your mouth, but to your displeasure, the kiss breaks.
"C'mon, baby, come shower with me" she says standing up, holding your hand, you get up too, grabbing on to her for support "lead the way" you say, a grin on her face.
Emily opens the water stream, letting the warm fog fill the bathroom, you try to catch Emily's lips to kiss her again, she offers a very fast for your liking peck that you try to prolong, but she's faster to grab the neck of your shirt, unbuttoning the buttons one by one, and taking it off.
Her eyes never leaving yours, she kisses your collarbone as she unclasps your bra, you reciprocate the action, doing the same with hers, Emily sighing in relief as her own restricting bra was undone.
The soft trail of small kisses on your collarbone soon moving southern to your sternum, she reacher your left boob, her soft lips feel warm on your smooth skin, never getting exactly anywhere, she removes your pants along with your underwear, and you do the same with hers.
You just want to jump in the shower with your girlfriend as fast as possible and forget the day.
She slowly pulled you into the shower behind the hot water, instantly calming your tingling body. Emily instantly pulled you into a hug as the warm water engulfs you two, running her hands through your back.
She lets you lean on her shoulder while she takes whatever sweet scented body wash she could reach faster and scrubs your back, washing the day off of you.
You do the same, grabbing the bottle and squeezing some on your hands to lather your girlfriend's slightly muscular arms, up and dow, then you move to get her shoulder, her back, you cover her in bubbles.
"I love your hands" She says. Her words take you by surprise, too focused on your task of getting your girlfriend clean that you hadn't even realized she was following your every move, her expression full of love. You chuckle first, but she interrupts before you open your mouth "I'm serious, baby. Please, please don't stop touching me" she kisses you again, depositing all her love and care on the kiss.
When you break the kiss you keep your ministrations, this time you lower your hands, her breath hitches when you cup her breasts, the same massage you were delivering to her arms, now you give them a gentle squeeze.
"mh- please, honey, touch me" you love hearing your girlfriend beg, asking for it, it's not the most common thing for her to do, but whenever a plead falls form Emily's lips, your completely at her mercy, ready to comply anything she asks you to.
She let out a breathy gasp as you played with her breasts, giving your girlfriend's mighty breasts another hearty squeeze before ultimately releasing her boobs. She grabs your hips pulling you close to her, she then leaned in, giving you a quick kiss, as you swiped her tongue against her bottom lip, she grabs your ass ginig it a gentle squeeze.
Grabbing her by the hips, you push her body gently against the shower wall, you move the kisses to her neck, sucking and biting her sensitive spots as Emily throws her head back to give you better access. You slowly kissed down her valley, dropping to your knees and stopping at her belly button.
"I will touch you as much as you want baby, whatever you need" You say as you look up at her. Emily only moans in response to your reassuring words. The sound sending her into a frenzy as you slowly lick up Emily's pussy with your broad tongue, stoping at her clit as you slowly suck it, swirling your tongue with intent. 
"oh god- yes sweetheart just like that" you moan at the nickname, the sound sending vibrations over the swollen bud. You alternated between gentle licks and firm sucks, using your fingers to tease and explore every inch of her sensitive flesh.
Emily could already feel herself beginning to fall apart, with her knees threatening to buckle out at any moment while pressure swelled within her loins, she places a hand on the back of your head for support, slowly pushing it to encourage you to keep going, and breathed out, "y/n… More! F-fuck, this feels great baby…" said as you dive back into her pussy with your tongue.
Your own arousal surged at the taste and sound of Emily's ecstasy, with each flick of your tongue, each gentle caress of your fingers, you bring Emily closer and closer to the peak of pleasure.
Really, you could keep your head in your girlfriend's pussy all day just eating her out, especially from hearing Emily's sweet moans.
Honestly, she could have stood to keep you buried between her legs forever. It won't take too long for her to be able to keep holding out against the growing pressure between her thighs, which makes her legs feel weaker and weaker with every lap of your tongue.
"I'm so close, baby, please" she moans, you pick up the speed, flicking your tongue against her clit as you curl your fingers against her g spot over and over again. Emily screams as her orgasm takes over. Crying out your name, she allows her body to do as it pleases as she comes hard onto your face.
As she comes down from the height, Emily holds you tight as you slid back to you feet, standing up, the warm water still running, warming your muscles, as your bodies grind against each other, she holds you close in an embrace, surrounding your waist with her arms, you both stay there letting the water rinse your bodies.
Emily is the first to break the silence "you have no idea how lucky i feel when you touch me" she says, caressing your lower back in soft circular motions.
"I'm the lucky one, Em" you say looking at her, she grabs your face, all wet from the shower "but i'm starting to get cold, we should get out now" she chuckles, pressing your lips together in a much sweeter, gentler kiss.
☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°
Next day you arrive to work together, Emily has her arm fully wrapped around yours, you don't pull apart until you get to your deks.
Emily sees Morgan on the kitchen, he's making himself a coffee, excusing herself to go talk to him
"Hey Prentiss, how you doin'?" he asks, in his face the usual cocky grin, Emily doesn't even respond
"If you ever tell my girlfriend anything about the way she is with me again, you will suffer the consequences, all right?" she says, a big, ironic smile on her face, she pats him on the shoulder, warning him.
She never leaves your side for the whole day.
☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°
Ok yes this one is longer than i thought it would be, but this was such a cute concept, I love overprotective Emily (should i write something with that? idk) Also no hate to Morgan at all!!!! I love him and he was just being playful, ok? I won't tolerate any Morgan hate on this blog!!!!
Hope you enjoy!! <3
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louscartridge · 2 days
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bang chan with a reader who has daddy issues
bang chan x fem reader
cw- daddy issues and everything that comes with it (duh), mentions of sex and cockwarming, fluff, comfort.
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a/n- whenever I see things with chan and daddy issues, its never actually daddy issues, its always just a daddy kink or whatever, yk? so this ones for all my stays with daddy issues out there 😞
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❥ at first he'd think it was a bit strange, and he was a little confused. however, he wasn't surprised.
Chan had always had a good father, and he'd like to think he'd also be a good one, so he never understood how a dad could just be so rejectful towards their own child, but he knew that sadly, some of them are.
❥ you didn't even have to tell him about you daddy issues for him to eventually realize it. to be completely honest, he didn't ever know if you knew you had them.
❥ it was the way that you would grasp onto his arm, or get weirdly overly excited about small things, and some of your worries or things you would say that made him realize.
❥ but he knows that its the small things that you'd go over the moon for. he'd make sure you guys had movie nights, weather it would be with just the two of you, or the rest of his group, game nights, ect. he knows sometimes going out could be a bit overwhelming for you, so he'd try his best to cook for you. chan would also brush your hair every once and a while.... not only does he know you sometimes have trouble doing it yourself, but he also knows that it brings you some sense of comfort.
❥ one night you told him that you prefer to go to sleep when everyone was awake cause it gave you some sense of security, but you hated how alone you felt when you stayed up all by yourself. so now, he makes sure that you're asleep before he is. he'd lay there with you in his arms awake, for however long it takes for you to fall asleep before he does himself.
❥ Chan is so good at reassurance and reading you omg. he can tell when you're having your doubts.... weather you're feeling particularly insecure in the moment, or you're scared that he's gonna leave you, he can always tell. he's so good with his words, and his tone changes slightly whenever he's reassuring you in these moments. his 'i love you' somehow sounding so much softer then it usually does, along with his eyes looking much softer too.
❥ he doesn't want you to push yourself away cause you think he's gonna leave, hell always encourage you to talk to him. if you cant come out and say what you need, hell hint to the convo or start it himself.
using words face to face could be hard, he gets that. when you're too embarrassed to verbally talk to him about it, hell give you a piece of paper, and you could write what you need to on it, and give it to him whenever you're done. he'd never tell you when you needed to write on it though, that was all in your own time. even if you never gave it back to him, he just wants you to know that its always there for you to use and give to him.
❥ speaking of Chan being good at reading you, he can tell when you actually want sex or not. half the time, it's the look in your eyes. they're different, and glassy. not in a needy way or anything, but in a way where you look worried, scared, like you're about to cry.
sometimes you also use sex as a form of reassurance, but he needs you to know that you don't ever need to have sex with him just cause you think it'll make him stay. sometimes the two of you would just resort to cock warming if you really need to feel close to him, but hell try his best to turn you away.
"princess not right now." he'd say with his hands on both sides of your face, pulling you away.
"but daddy-"
"no, baby, im sorry. I'm always gonna be here tomorrow, and the next day, and every other day after, ok? I promise. I love you so much."
"always gonna be here." you'd nod to yourself with a small sniff.
❥ he understands that it might take you a bit to trust him, but he's so patient with gaining your trust. hell do everything he can to get it, and continue to do everything to keep it.
❥ Chan himself is a little possessive and get jealous easily, so he has no problem with that. what he does have a problem with, is the fact that half the time you're acting that way cause you think he's gonna leave or cheat on you. he'd never in a million years do either of those, and it breaks him whenever he thinks that you feel that. he never wants his baby to feel that way ever, but he knows there's not much he can do other then give you everything he has, and time.
you like that your boyfriend can be jealous and possessive tho. whenever he gets that way, you know for sure that he won't leave you. you are his, and he is yours. only and always.
❥ sometimes though, Chan does just need some space. there's nothing wrong with that, you know that. but you cant help but feel bad. 'was I too clingy? was I being annoying? oh god, he's gonna break up with me isn't he.' chan knows that's what you're gonna be thinking, so he always tells you a few days beforehand.
"babe, me and Felix are going somewhere on Thursday morning. I'll be back around 2:00 tho. ok?"
"why are you coming back so late?" you furrow your eyebrows.
"its a long drive is all"
he always comes back with flowers, or a stuffed animal, or something of the sort when he gets back. he'll text you and keep you updated whenever you can on days like that.
❥ since you're constantly around chan, you've gotten mad close to the guys. sometimes you find it funny, the group of you talking about how chan is always gushing about you, sometimes teasing him.
once you trust them enough, Hyunjin and Felix have field days with you telling them little things and details about your relationship.
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euniexenoblade · 3 days
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re: egg discourse
i thought it was just people saying that specifically making jokes about someone being trans but not knowing it yet can be kinda invalidating and sometimes traumatic. are people actually saying you should never tell someone that they might be trans?
i dont really have a side in the debate it just feels like people are willfully misunderstanding eachother and its making my brain hurt
"making jokes about someone being trans but not knowing it yet can be kinda invalidating and sometimes traumatic"
Sure, but it also isn't for a lot of people. And, a lot of people I talk to say egg jokes helped them realize who they were. Though I do think part of this resistance to an egg joke is actually internalized transphobia at points (the idea of being compared to trans people is being treated as degrading in a lot of these people's arguments) the truth of the matter is different people need and want different things. Me making eggs jokes with my friends is not your friend group.
This is why the recurring complaint of our side is it's never egg jokes can make people uncomfortable, 'make sure your friends are cool with them before just doing them,' it's always complaining about trans women forcing cis men to be women or trans women being "transvestigators" or "similar to Christian missionaries." People who are uncomfortable with egg jokes are always projecting their discomfort onto other people, other friend groups, and portray harmless fun between friends as something abusive.
Like for example,
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this is a projection. the egg jokes people are talking about happen among friends and stuff, but this person is doing a whole "never make egg jokes because people did it about me and made me feel bad" (oh woe is you, people thought you might be transgender, how disgusting to be a tranny). The majority of egg jokes are not about random ass people, it's within friend groups. And, if you don't like your friends saying them, tell them to stop. If they don't? Then stop being their friends. Also from that post
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The underwater filter butchered that. I know you can't read it but I wanted to post it cuz fucking look at that. What the hell. Anyways,
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This opposition to egg joke people always talk about strangers. As if we're walking up to random people on the street and making egg jokes about them. It's mostly contained to friend groups. This is just an inaccurate portrayal of what's actually being discussed, and I'm sure the op will be like "I'm talking about my experience!" but OP openly admitted that this rant was relevant to a random blogger complaining about an egg tweet a woman made about her own friend group that neither this OP or that blogger are part of. They are actually dictating how strangers are allowed to act and identify with this, not the egg jokesters.
Yeah, once and a while you get shit like "Aaron Bushnell seems transfem" which was a completely innocuous convo that no one would have seen if well known transmisogynists who accuse random trans women of pedophilia like three times a year hadn't found the post. It was a trans woman seeing herself in someone important in history, and even if someone said something inappropriate, the backlash was undeserved. Yall say embarrassing shit all the time and no one's running you off the web site for it.
I'm sorry this person and others seem to have a bad time with egg jokes (though most of the time, what they describe isn't egg jokes but that's a whole other thing), but their few experiences can not be used to determine a blanket response to something so many people actually do enjoy and find useful. I'm especially not gonna take a cis person's opinions on egg jokes seriously (since so many have seemed to gotten involved and think their opinion on this matters).
"are people actually saying you should never tell someone that they might be trans?"
Yes! That's like, the entire underlying premise of this! Like, 100% this is the backbone of every anti-egg joke argument. That's the entire concept of "egg prime directive." And, it's overwhelmingly weaponized against trying to help transfems realize themselves sooner than they would. From the aforementioned Bushnell drama, to the polls where a shit ton of transmascs voted it was ok to tell an eggy friend they might be a trans man but NOT ok to tell an eggy friend they might be a trans woman, to the newest drama where chongoblog whined about a random trans woman on twitter making egg jokes about her friend (which it was later revealed chongoblog misrepresented the tweet), the anti egg joke committee / "You can't tell anyone they're trans!!!" crew are always wielding this ideology against transfems / trans women but practically never against transmascs.
This is why it's constantly said that these posts and arguments are transmisogynistic in nature. "I'm a trans woman and I say eggs jokes are bad, so it can't be transmisogynistic you're just using that as a shield!" That's great but 1) maybe read between the lines, or read the criticisms you're clearly ignoring and maybe you'll see these people don't respect you 2) the whole "using transmisogyny as a shield" is like, classic transmisogyny at this point. We've been hearing that from anti-feminists, cryptoterfs, and trans woman hating google doc writers for a few years now and 3) you being complicit doesn't mean we gotta care about what you say.
"it just feels like people are willfully misunderstanding eachother and its making my brain hurt"
Oh, I'm sure this is absolutely the case. The problem is a bunch of transphobes are really who spurred a lot of this drama up earlier this year and instead of people thinking "oh these people have bad intentions I shouldn't boost this" they instead were like "Yeah! I don't like egg jokes!" and now we have to deal with trans women making egg jokes (normal, harmless, pro-trans and literally want to help trans people) being compared to transvestigators (a literal anti-trans hate group thing). The issue is people aren't treating us as people, and thus it gets returned in kind.
What's the answer to this? Mutual understanding that "some people need to be told they're trans," "some people don't respond well to being told who they are," "egg jokes can help people and be a fun joke for friends," and "some people are uncomfortable with egg jokes" can all coexist. But, honestly, I don't think we'll ever get there.
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golden1u5t · 2 days
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sober enough | s.r x fem!reader
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ꨄ requested: anonymous
ꨄ genre: suggestive
ꨄ summary: while out at a bar with the team the tension between you and spencer grew to be thicker until it was too much to stand. 
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The team, even Hotch, had went out for drinks after a rough case in Kansas. You all needed the break and luckily Hotch gave you all the next two days off to recuperate. Everyone took this opportunity to let loose, everyone threw back shots like it was just a glass of water. Well, everyone but Spencer and Aaron... they were being responsible and only having a few drinks.
You had been a few shots of tequila away from being "not being able to control what come out of my mouth" drunk.You weren't usually a big drinker, you usually ending up being only a bit tipsy on nights out but not tonight, tonight you needed to erase all of the horrible things you had seen in the past week. This serial killer had probably been the worst you've seen since joining the team.
That was the case for everyone else too, which is why Spencer and Aaron were in charge of getting everyone home safely tonight. Especially you, you were probably the drunkest of them all. Eventually the booth got smaller and smaller until it was just you and Spencer sitting side by side.
You were sitting in silence as you watched the team dance and sing karaoke, a smile on both of your faces because you had never seen the team so carefree before and it was a sight you wished you could see more often.
Spencer felt you shift around and his eyes immediately landing on you, you were reaching over the table to grab Emily's neglected drink.
Spencer immediately grabbed your wrist and put in back in your lap, you looked at him with a pout and went to grab at the drink again but he stopped you.. again. "No more."
You looked at him and scoffed, mumbling to yourself about how he wasn't your daddy as you sunk back into your seat. Spencer gave you a teasing smile and leaned down to whisper in your ear so you could hear him over Jj's horrible singing.
"Don't be like that. I'm saving you from an even worse hangover tomorrow."
A chill went down your spine and he definitely didn't fail to notice how your body slightly shook with each word he spoke into your ear. He pulled back and let go of your wrist, dropping his hand onto your exposed thigh instead.
A few minutes passes and jj has finally got off of the stage. Spencer took his hand from your thigh so he could clap for her and you did the same. Emily and Ju stumbles over to the table and sat down while the rest of the team either continued dancing or ended up at the bar.
"Why don't you guys join us? There's this cute guy that's been ogling you, Y/N." Emily wiggled her eyebrows and quickly drunk the drink Spencer stopped you from taking.
"Oh yeah! He-He's really cute! You should talk to him." JJ added. She pointed over to where she last saw the guy, he stood there with a smirk on his face staring at you.
Spencers eyes followed her pointing and he could feel his blood starting to boil at how the man was looking at you.
You gave the man a sly smile before turning back to the drunk women in front of you. "I think I will. I could use a wingwoman or two."
JJ and Emily quickly slid out of the booth and headed towards the man's direction. You looked back towards the man and took a good look over him. He wasn't your type at all, nowhere close, but you wanted to have some fun tonight, it's the whole reason you were there.
You started to slide out of the booth and that made Spencer slide to the edge along with you.
"I'm gonna go see if I can get a free drink, maybe get laid tonight too." You hiccuped. Spencer caught your wrist in his hand and pulled you down and made you fall onto his lap, his hands gripping your hips.
"You've had enough to drink and i'm not letting you go home with a stranger." His whispered in your ear so you could hear him over the loud music that started blaring through the bar. Spencer's voice was stern and authoritative, it sent a shiver down your spine.
"Would you rather I go home with you instead?" You twisted your head to look at him, slightly "adjusting" yourself in his lap. "Hmm, Spence?"
His hands tightened on your hips and grounded you on his lap, forcing you to stop moving. Spencer brought his hand up and wrapped your hair around his fist, tugging it back harshly. "Stop it."
"What if I don't want to?" You replied, pushing yourself back. You could feel his cock stirring alive in his pants and his sanity was crumbling with each passing moment.
Spencer wished you weren't as drunk as you were, he would pull you out of the bar and take you right in his car if you weren't.
You would let him either way but Spencer wants to make sure that you would remember it, remember everything he did to your body. He wants you to remember it all.
Spencer let your hair go and brought his glass of water to your lips, mumbling a small 'drink' as he held your jaw. You huffed in annoyance but still complied.
"Good girl." He praised, setting the glass of water down on the table. Your body heated up at his praise and you quickly got off of his lap and pulled him out of the booth.
"Come on. I think i'm sober enough."
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kpop---scenarios · 3 days
Text
Whiplash (6)
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Pairing: Felix x Reader x Hyunjin
Genre: Street Racing, Gang, Friends to Lovers
Warnings: Sexually Suggestive Things, Language, Jealousy, 18+ ONLY
Word Count: 4.2k
Taglist: @sheala--marie @kayleefriedchicken @chartrucewhore @cookiesnmilfx @thicccurls @aznstoner @velvetmoonlght
One | Two | Three | Four | Five |
“You're fucking psycho if you think I'll ever be back in this house again.” You spit. “Who are you? The San I knew would never have done this! Never would have drugged me!” You scream.
Felix and Hyunjin stare at you like they have just seen a ghost.
“I-I never drugged you!” He stuttered. “Are you sure your brain is working?” He laughs.
“There's no way I'd sleep for 12+ hours without you slipping something into my water. I knew it tasted funny!” You yell.
“You mother fucker!” Felix yells, lunging for San. Hyunjin grabs onto him, holding him back. He knows it won't do anyone any good for them to fight, especially you. As angry as he was right now, he knew he needed to do what was best for you and Felix getting into a fight with San would surely not be good for your recovery.
“If I see you out, you better watch your fucking back. I'm sick of you and your shit with Y/N. I swear to god if you touch her again ill fucking kill you.” Felix screams as Hyunjin pulls him outside, with you following closely behind.
Felix pulls himself out of Hyunjin’s grip, walking a little down the short walkway, taking deep breaths to try and calm down.
“I'm sorry.” you whisper. Felix turns around, he looks confused. Hyunjin stares at you in disbelief.
“Sorry for what?” Felix asks, walking closer to you.
“for everything. For believing San over you guys, for coming here, for just everything that I put you through the last little bit.” You cry.
“Listen to me.” Hyunjin starts. “You didn't put us through anything. HE put you and us through hell for his own sick enjoyment.” Hyunjin tells you. You can hear it in his voice how angry and upset he is at the moment.
“Never apologize for this. This wasn't you at all.” Felix chimes in. “So don't feel guilty, don't be upset and don't ever think we're mad at you for any of this.” He finishes.
The three of you walk to the car, Felix opening the passenger door for you before climbing in the back while Hyunjin takes the driver's seat.
“Now.” He starts. “We can go to the house or your apartment, which one do you want?”
“My apartment please.” You breathe. “I begged San to take me there but he wouldn't. I just want to be home.” You say. Hyunjin smiles as he starts to drive in the direction of your place. They were so fucking happy that you had come back to them, but they couldn't help but wonder how long they would have you for before something went wrong, because in their life, something always went wrong.
“Ah, my bed!” You squeal as you lay down gently in your bed, making sure not to hit the still tender wound on the back of your head.
“Are you hungry? Thirsty? Is there anything we can get you? Do you want us to stay? Go?” Felix asks. He really hoped you would ask them to stay.
“Please stay. I don't wanna be without you guys.” You smile. “I know we're really just starting out this relationship and already so many things have happened..” you pause. “So if you want out, tell me now.” You finish, holding your breath.
They both look confused again.
“Out?” Hyunjin asks.
“Why would we want out?” Felix asks.
“Because. Like I said. So much has happened.” You mutter.
“I've waited years for you baby, I'm not going anywhere unless I'm 6 feet in the ground.” Felix says.
“Yeah, you wanna get rid of me love, you're gonna have to kill me.” Hyunjin winks.
How did you end up so fucking lucky? You usually weren't the one to have the happy ending but maybe now things are finally changing for you?
You get under the covers in your bed, patting either side for the boys. They crawl in with you, snuggling up to you. You can't help but fall asleep so quickly, feeling so safe and loved right now. Over the next week you spent almost all your time in bed with Felix and Hyunjin waiting on you hand and foot. By the end of the week you felt back at 10p% and you were so grateful for them. As the three of you went to bed that night, you had a plan for the next day and you hoped they would be on board.
**
You wake up in the morning, feeling refreshed and sweaty. You have Felix’s arm draped around you with Hyunjin’s leg pinning you down. Your head was kinda sore but not as bad as it had been. You were finally feeling more yourself but you knew you needed to take some advil or something to alleviate the soreness you were in. You felt normal again and you loved it.
“Felix.” you groan, poking up. “Hyunjin. Move. My head is sore. I need something.” You say. Both men shoot up in bed, scrambling out and each running in a different direction to find you something. Minutes later Felix comes back with medicine while Hyunjin appears with some water.
“Perfect.” You smile, taking the pills and water. “Thank you. But you know you really didn't need to rush. It's just a small headache.” You giggle.
Felix looks at his phone, then looks back at you. “The guys want to see you.. I guess Chan is really beating himself up about this.” He sighs. You crawl out of bed, looking for some clothes.
“Well let's go then.” You say, grabbing an outfit to change into.
An hour later you're sitting outside the house. “Are you sure you're up for it?” Hyunjin asks.
“Definitely.” You smile. You wanted your normal life back and you needed them to stop treating you like you were a fragile glass doll. You were more resilient than they knew. The three of you walk up to the door. When the door opened, there stood 6 men with smiles on their faces to greet you.
“I'm so glad you're back, Y/N. Once you're up for it I want a beer chugging rematch.” Han laughs, wrapping his arms around you.
“You wanna lose again?” You giggle, moving on to Changbin who squeezes you tightly.
Seungmin and Lee Know both give you a quick hug, murmuring something you didn't quite catch, while Jeongin pulls you in tightly as well. You walk over to Chan, who's standing a little ways back from the group, his head hangs low as you approach him.
“I should have told the cops it was San..Y/N I'm so sorry for this whole thing. It's my fault.. I should have..” he continues to say, but you cut him off.
“Chan, stop it. You couldn't have known how things were going to turn out. I was fine and then I wasn't but I'm okay now. And I hope you know I'm not mad at you and I don't hold any of your decisions against you.” You say. You open your arms, pulling the sad man into you. He wraps his arms around you tightly, sniffling into your shoulder.
“Alright, alright.” Felix says, pulling you away from Chan. “She needs to rest now, go on.” He says, shooing the man away.
“Lix, I'm fine.” You smile. He looks at you like he's going to melt.
“Lix, huh?” He grins. “I like it.”
“Do you?” You say, matching his grin. You lean in closer to him, your lips brushing against his ear. “My Lixxie.” You whisper.
“Oh baby.” He groans, his deep sultry voice coming out to play. “You're just asking for it, aren't you?”
You turn your head, smirking as you look at Hyunjin. “You think I'm asking for it Jin?” You wink. He chuckles as he walks towards the two of you. “Mhmm, Jin? I don't know.” He sighs.
“How about Jinnie?” You whisper.
“I could get used to that.” He grins.
You lean in, your lips so close to touching before Chan pipes up.
“ Sorry to interrupt boys but we've got business to take care of.” He says, looking at Hyunjin and Felix.
“A race?” You question, looking between the two men.
Hyunjin and Felix both glance at each other before Hyunjin sighs. “Yeah there's a race tonight. But we have some things to take care of beforehand.” He says, looking at Felix.
“Stay here. We'll be back as soon as we can, okay?” Felix smiles.
No. You didn't want to stay. You were better, you wanted to go.
“I'm coming.” You say. You flashback to the last time you went and what happened. But you couldn't be afraid forever.
Felix and Hyunjin knew that they couldn't control you and if you said you felt ready then you were ready. They just hated the fact that they couldn't protect you while they raced.
“Fine. But while we race you need to stay with Chan and Changbin, okay? San will likely be there.” Hyunjin sighs.
You nod your head, excited to be able to see them race again. You stayed at the house while they went out and did whatever they needed to do before the rave, when they were done they swung by the house and picked an excited you up and headed out.
The crowd was larger than you remembered. There were more people racing this time and the spot was a lot bigger. You felt sure that with this many people in this big of a place you wouldn't see San.
“Who's racing now?” You ask Felix as the two of you sit on the bed of someone's truck, watching the tires spin and burn while the flag drops and the cars peel off.
“That would be Got7 in the blue car, I think it's Jinyoung driving. And then it's Lucas from NCT in the yellow one.” Felix says, sliding his arm around your shoulder.
Hyunjin walks over to the two of you, hopping up onto the truck beside you, resting his hand on your thigh.
“We're up next. We race against whoever wins this one.” He says. You were nervous, you always felt nervous when they were racing. The chance that there was an accident was really high with how fast they go.
The three of you walked hand in hand towards their group, Got7 had won so they were racing against Jinyoung.
“Be safe.” You sigh, giving both of them a kiss. You link your arm with Chan's as you watch them both walk away. Your eyes scan the crowd, looking at all the people here who were watching, and your eyes landed on someone familiar.
San.
Your body tenses up so much that Chan notices. He looks where you were looking, your eyes locked in with San's.
“It's okay Y/N.” Chan says, rubbing your arm. “We're not going to let anything happen to you.” He smiles. Felix and Hyunjin peel off, the race starts. You knew San was going to be here but it still affected you and you really hadn't thought it would have.
A few minutes later you notice the rest of the guys standing in a half circle, talking to someone. Chan glances over and immediately a grin plastered across his face. “I'll be right back.” He says, pulling his arm from yours and walking over to the others. You stand there alone, peeking over to see a very beautiful girl that they were all talking to. You had no idea who she was but they were all clearly smitten with her. You looked through the crowd again, but didn't see San anymore. You started to calm down a little bit now, feeling like maybe he had left.
Until you feel someone grab your wrist and try to pull you. You look over, seeing San with your wrist in his hand, pulling you towards him.
“Come with me please.” San says, pulling a little harder.
“No. Let go of me.” You say, trying to yank your wrist from his grasp.
“Y/N stop, I just wanna talk.” He says. He starts walking towards the trees, dragging you with him. You turn your head.
“Chan!” You yell. He doesn't hear you. “Chan!” You scream a little louder. He puts up a finger, “just a second, Y/N.” He yells, not even turning around. You didn't have a second.
“I just want to explain!” San grunts. You're getting too close to the trees. Panic sets in. What did you do?
Scream. Scream Y/N.
You let out a loud, ear shattering scream. Chan and the rest of the guys all turn around, looking for you in horror. Chan sees you, San's hand covering your mouth as he drags you into the trees. He, Changbin and Lee Know run towards you, luckily grabbing you before San could get too deep. By the time they reach you, the race is over. Felix and Hyunjin had won, but instead of staying in the car to wait for the next race, they bolted towards the commotion they saw happening with you. They reach you just as Chan pulls you away from San.
“What the fuck is wrong with you!?” Chan yells.
“I just wanted to talk to her!” San yells, defending himself.
“You okay, baby?” Felix asks, giving you a once over.
“How did this happen?” Hyunjin yells. “I thought you were keeping an eye on her!?”
“I was! I was talking to Jennie.. just for a minute.” Chan says.
“I yelled for you! You told me just a second!” You breathe.
Chan hangs his head. “I'm sorry, Y/N. I really didn't think he would try anything.”
“Hyunjin, you go race, I'll stay with Y/N.” Felix says, wrapping his arm around you, taking you away from the group. He had never been more angry at his leader than he was at this moment. The two of you sit there, your head resting on Felix's shoulder. You watched Hyunjin in the car waiting for the race to start. He looks over at you, blowing you a kiss. You grin as you blow one back to him. Felix takes his finger, placing it under your chin, turning your face towards his. He smiles at you before leaning in, placing a tender kiss on your lips. You feel like you're going to melt with the way his lips feel on yours.
He breaks the kiss as he hears the crowd screaming, Hyunjin was racing San. You could feel your anxiety in the pit of your stomach. If San did anything or tried anything, you swore you would kill him.
Hyunjin takes off, you watch as he speeds off leaving San in the dust. You watch intensely where the cars come around the bend for the finish line. You were desperate to see Hyunjin come first. After minutes of waiting, you see him. San closely behind him. Hyunjin switches gears, The car takes off even faster, crossing the finish line well before San. The crowd erupts in cheers. You get off the truck, running towards Hyunjin. You push through the crowd of people and he grabs you, picking you up in a hug, spinning you around. He sets you down, kissing you passionately before the guys come over to celebrate.
“We're going to the club tonight!” Chan yells. “Time to celebrate!” Everyone cheers. You turn around, seeing a defeated San walk towards his group. You almost felt bad for him. Almost.
**
Later that night, you were dressed and ready to head to the club. You were so excited to go and dance with your boys, drink, let loose and have a great time.
“Ready?” Felix asks as he walks into the room.
“Ready.” You smile, walking towards him. He lets out a whistle as he grabs your hand to twirl you around.
“Wow.” He gasps. “Hyunjin.” He yells. “Come here.”
Hyunjin walks into the room wearing a black dress shirt tucked into his black pants, same as Felix and they both looked so fucking good.
“Jesus.” Hyunjin grins. “So sexy.”
You can feel the blush creep across your face as you giggle at the compliments. “Let's go, you two.” You say, grabbing both their hands to drag them out of the room.
“You sure?” Felix asks as you tug him along. “We could just stay home? There's a few things I can think of to do.” He smirks.
“Yeah, it would be a lot more fun.” Hyunjin agrees.
“We're going to celebrate you two. Shush.” You giggle.
The club is packed. You walk in feeling the bass pound through the floors, the smell of sex and sweat fills the air. The three of you make your way to the bar, ordering a few different shots. This felt nice, being out. It felt normal which you loved. After some shots you three made your way to the dance floor. Hyunjin behind you, Felix in front. You hadn't drank in so long that it didn't take very long for the booze to kick in. You stuck out your ass, grinding it onto Hyunjins crotch while Felix was between your legs, his body pressed up against yours. The whole thing was extremely hot, and it made you even hornier than you were to begin with. the feeling of both their hands roaming your body, Hyunjin's breath on the back of your neck, Felix's breath on your ear. You'd let them fuck you right there.
After an hour of dancing, you excused yourself to the bathroom. You could feel your pussy was dripping wet for them and you couldn't wait to get home tonight. You come out of the bathroom, searching for Felix and Hyunjin. You look around and finally see them standing side by side talking to the same girl that had been at the races. You could see her laughing, throwing her head back as she touched both their arms. That pissed you off. You make your way to the bar, sitting on a stool, ordering a drink. You barely notice the man sitting beside you. The bartender sets a drink and a shot beside you. You grab the shot, turning around in your seat to watch your boyfriends with Jennie. You wondered how long it would take for them to notice you hadn't come back yet or if at all. Maybe they were so immersed in the conversation with Jennie they completely forgot they had a girlfriend. You take your shot, setting it down on the bar before grabbing your drink and turning back around again. You're sipping on your drink. And sipping. And sipping. Until you're done and they still haven't noticed. You turn around, ordering another shot and another drink, turning back again to watch them.
You take your shot and before you can turn to grab your drink, there's a man standing in front of you.
“Hello.” He smiles.
“Hi.” You say back staying straight faced.
“Are you here alone?” He asks.
“No.” You deadpan, looking around him to see Hyunjin and Felix.
“I'm talking to you.” He laughs, moving in front of your view.
“And I'm not interested.” You snap, looking up at him.
“Woah, calm down.” He laughs. “Let me buy you a drink?”
“I have a drink.” You sigh.
“Wanna dance?” He asks.
“No.” You say. “Go away please.”
“Ah, just come dance.” He laughs again, grabbing your wrist.
“Bro.” The guy next to you snaps. “She's not fucking interested. Move along.”
“Okay, bro. Is she your girlfriend?” The man asks.
“Doesn't matter if she is or not. She doesn't want to dance, she doesn't want a drink, move the fuck on.” He says, removing his hand from your wrist. The guy scoffs before leaving you alone finally.
“Thank you.” You say looking over at the man who helped you. You squint your eyes, looking a little closer. “Jinyoung?” You ask.
“Yeah?” He responds, looking at you funny.
“You were at the races.” You say. “You raced against Hyunjin and Felix.”
“Yeah I did. Oh! You're their girlfriend. That's right. I remember you.” He says.
“Thank you again for helping me. I appreciate it.” You smile.
“It's no problem. Where are those two anyways?” He asks.
You nod your head in their direction. They were still talking to Jennie and you were fucking annoyed.
“Ah.”
“I've been waiting to see how long it takes for them to notice I haven't come back from the bathroom. And this is embarrassing.” You sigh.
“That sucks. She's such a fucking cunt too.” He laughs. “She puts on a good show of being nice and flirty.”
“I don't want to be jealous. But I am. Cunt or not, they haven't even turned their heads to even peek for me. I'd love to make them jealous.” You laugh.
“Do you wanna dance?” Jinyoung asks. “I'm all for helping out.”
You grin at him as you nod your head. Maybe they won't forget about you to flirt with someone else next time. Jinyoung grabs your hand, pulling you towards the dance floor as you quickly chug your drink. He pulls you past Felix and Hyunjin, you turn your drunk head to smile at them, sticking your tongue out as you get to the front of the dance floor with Jinyoung. In their line of vision perfectly. He places his hands on your waist as you dance with him, moving your hips seductively. You can see the instant anger plastered across both their faces. You weren't sure if it was because you were dancing with another man, or because that man was Jinyoung. You continue to dance, giggling as you stick up your middle finger to them both, making them both slightly laugh. They walk away from Jennie, who turns to watch them, looking offended that they just left in the middle of a conversation.
“Y/N.” Felix says, using his deep voice.
“What?” You ask, still dancing.
“What are you doing?” He asks.
“Dancing.”
“Why are you dancing with another man?” Hyunjin asks.
“Why are you two flirting with Jennie?” You ask, now glaring at them both. “I've been out of the bathroom for 45 minutes, watching you two, neither of you wondered where I was?” You scoff.
“Baby..” Felix starts.
“Don't baby me.” You scoff. “Jinyoung here saved me when some creepy man was trying to force me to dance with him. Where were you two?” You slur.
You turn around facing Jinyoung who had been silent the whole time you'd been talking to them. You keep dancing, only for a second before Hyunjin pulls you away from Jinyoung. You turn to look at him, mouthing a ‘thank you’ as you giggle at the angry men guiding you away. He just laughs.
“I don't need help.” You say, pulling your hands away from them.
“I didn't like that.” Felix says as the three of you get outside. “Seeing you with him.”
“I could have beat the shit out of him.” Hyunjin says.
You say nothing, you just keep walking, both men behind you. You can hear them whispering but you can't hear what they're whispering about. Until you're grabbed, and dragged into an alley. You're pinned against the wall as an angry Hyunjin and Felix stare at you.
“Did you like it?” Hyunjin asks. “the feeling of his hands all over your body.”
“Did you feel his cock on your ass as you grinded with him?” Felix asks.
“Yes and yes.” You say, smirking. You wanted to rile them up. You loved it when they were jealous. You push them out of the way, continuing to stumble your way back to the house. You looked down and then back up, and Felix stood in front of you. He swiftly picks you up, throwing you over his shoulder. He walks the opposite way you were and sets you down inside a car.
You had forgotten they drove here. Felix slides in the backseat with you. You lay on your back, propping yourself up with your elbows as Felix lays semi on top of you. Hyunjin races to the house.
“I don't ever want to see another guy's hands on you ever again.” He whispers in your ear. Hyunjin pulls up to the house in record time, helping you out of the car as Felix gets out on the other side. Hyunjin pins you against the car.
“You're gonna be in big trouble if you ever do that again.” He says, placing kisses down your neck.
“Am I not in trouble now?” You gasp.
“Oh you are.” Felix smirks.
“Well so are you guys.” You say, walking towards the house.
Once you're inside, Felix slams the front door shut. The house is quiet. Everyone else is still out. You slide off your shoes, walking towards the kitchen. Felix grabs you, turning you around, pressing you against the wall. He smashes his lips to yours, kissing you harshly as he pulls up your dress. Hyunjin comes over to the two of you, peppering kisses over your neck as Felix pulls down your panties.
“After tonight, you're not going to want any other man to touch you.” Felix grunts.
This is what you had desperate been waiting for, and you couldn't fucking wait.
83 notes · View notes
lookwhatitcost · 2 days
Text
I miss the way you say my name.
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Authors note: I had this idea on my flight back home, I hope you like it!
Pairing: Noah Sebastian x Reader!
Warnings!: smut, fingering, oral (F receiving), mentions of cheating, angst. Let me know if I need to add more!
Tags!: @xxkittenkissesxx @starsomens @thisbicc @laurpartyprogram
You and Noah had broken up exactly 1 month and 8 days ago. Why you may ask? He fucked up. he had broken up with you for reasons that you didn't know why, you always thought that he wasn't ready or that you were just another girl he had then left, and him breaking up with you out of the blue almost confirmed those thoughts.
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Flashback.
"Noah why? Why do you not want me anymore?" You said with hot tears rolling down your face.
"I don't know y/n I just, can't anymore. I can't keep pretending that I want this to keep going anymore."
"Well you know what noah? Fuck you. Fuck you for letting me spend 3 FUCKING YEARS OF MY LIFE with you just so you could throw it out the window like it was nothing."
"Y/N baby-" he said clearly trying to calm you down.
"Don't fucking baby me Noah you know what you're doing and its your choice. I'm fucking leaving." You said with anger coming out of you.
"Don't leave, l don't want you to hate me because of this."
"well then you failed miserably. Goodbye noah" you said standing up to leave you and Noah's shared apartment. But you felt his hand grasp your wrist to halt you from leaving.
"Y/N I need you to fucking understand that I don't want you to get mad, but I can't do this, I've been thinking and I don't think this is going to work, At. All." His words broke your heart in 2 seconds.
"What was it noah? Was it the fact that we could never spend time together because you were always so fucking 'busy' with work!?! Huh? Was it because most of the fucking time I had spent trying to help you with everything but you just chose to fucking ignore me!"
"Oh now you're gonna blame it on me working my ass off on tour and bad omens because of this!?! No, you know what Y/N fuck you. You have never appreciated what I do for you and me! All you do is complain and complain like the fucking brat you are!" When he said that you felt as if you had a different person in front of you, of course you had Noah had your fights and your arguments but he would never insult you like that. that was your last straw. So you said what would hurt him most.
"Well, its not like you ever actually loved me to begin with, so I expected this from you. I hope you find someone as fucked up as you to love you properly, because apparently I never did. Bye Noah." You knew Noah loved you he always stated that, but you knew that would break his heart, you not feeling loved by him. Gently getting out of his grasp you walked to the front door and left your home.
1 month, 8 days later...
As you lay down on your bed after running some errands in the morning all you think about is the thing you've been thinking about for the past month, constantly trying to get it out of your brain. Noah. You thought of all the love, the hate, the good, the bad that happened in the span of 3 years together, but today it wasn't just thinking about him because you miss him, you had to actually see him today, at Folio's party. He had said "you don't have to go if you don't want to especially if Noah is gonna be a problem." But you had said that you wouldn't miss it for the world and decided to face your fears of seeing Noah again.
As you got ready you fixed your hair that was in a curly blowout and looked over yourself in the mirror one last time checking if you looked good with the rock-ish style makeup you were wearing. You will admit you got a little more dressed up than usual wearing, a black mini skirt and corset set, with platform leather boots and a leather jacket for the chill that was upon the month of October. No you didn't get dressed up to make Noah jealous... ok well maybe you did but who cares anyway?
Later on...
You got to the guys house approximately 10 minutes ago, the entire time you've been sitting in your car debating wether you actually want to face Noah. You were thinking of leaving and making an excuse by saying you didn't feel well to folio, well that was until he knocked on your car window. You rolled it down to reveal folio and his sheepish smile.
"Hiiiii Y/N, are you coming in anytime soon?" He said while hanging on to the car.
"Uh yeah sorry I was uh lost in thought." You said trying to make up an excuse.
You and folio walked up to the house and went inside, you saw the familiar place and you started to get a feeling of regret deep in your mind, but you also remembered all the beautiful memories you had made with the guys here.
"Y/N! Long time no fucking see huh?" You heard the stupid ass voice of Matt say. "Oh shit, hi Matt haven't seen you in a while."
"Yeah I hope we can hang out more these next couple of weeks before we go on tour!" He said, you didn't know Bad Omens were going on tour at all. But you guessed since you're not really apart of their lives anymore they wouldn't tell you.
"Oh! You guys are going on tour?"
"yeah! I thought you would've seen it on social media by now, sorry I didn't tell you." Matt said.
"No problem! Its just unexpected, you know."
You had a nice conversation with most of the guys and caught up on things you'd missed this past month everything was great, that was until the part you most dreaded of the night happened. Seeing Noah. He had came up to one of the guys and when he saw you he mirrored your position and froze, no saying anything, no moving, until he muttered a quick "hi Y/N." all you could say was "hi ba- noah. Sorry." He looked good, in his stupid shorts with the dumb white tank top you used to take off of him. you quietly cursed yourself for not having a drink before doing this so you wouldn't feel the heat that rushed into your core when you saw him lick his lips and rub his neck, so you decided to opt for the best option, leaving the party. You quickly turned to the guys to tell them "Uh I gotta go thank you guys for inviting me here, I'll see you all soon." You felt Matt gently grab your wrist and ask you "are you okay? You've only been here for 30 minutes." You tried to come up with a quick response. "Yeah I'm fine. I just gotta wake up early tomorrow, got a lot to do." You hoped this would suffice for an excuse. Fortunately it did, you managed to say your goodbyes and go to leave the house, well you thought it was great and fun until Noah ran up to you.
"Y/N!" He called after you.
"Yeah Noah?"
"Can we talk? In private?" You didn't know whether to run away or face it and actually clear things up with him.
"Um, Yeah sure" you said nodding slightly. "Um well we can go to my room, to have privacy." You felt slightly nervous as you were walking up the stairs to his room, when you walked in you thought you would feel weird since he had moved out after breaking up with you, but actually felt a sense of warmth and comfort. He motioned for you to take a seat on the bed, so you did next to him.
"Look Y/N I'm not gonna make small talk, I want to explain everything that had happened. The warm and comfort was gone, now I was just fucking overloading with nerves.
"Go ahead."
"Um okay well. The night that I had broken up with you wasn't because I didn't want to be with you, I had fucked up, big time." I knew what he was gonna say next "I miss you, I was so wrong to let you go." I wasn't gonna hear him if thats what's he was gonna say so I just said. "Look Noah if you are gonna say you miss me and want to get back together its not gonna work, I don't know why I'm wasting my time." I tried to stand up but I got pushed back down by Noah.
"Y/N can you fucking hear me out for once, please?"
"fine."
"as I was saying, I didn't break up with you because I wanted to, I broke up with you because I felt guilty."
"and by that you mean??"
"you remember that before we broke up we had gone to a bar with the guys when we were on the trip in New York three days prior?"
"Yeah I remember that, that's when you started getting distant from me."
"Um well, that day I had um, cheated on you. But not for the reasons that you think." I froze I felt like my body was alive but my soul was completely dead. Noah had cheated on me? I had to keep my cool.
"What. The. Fuck. Do you mean?"
"Let me explain. I was drunk and there was this girl, and she looked like you in my drunk eyes tiny tattoos and everything and I'm guessing she was also off the rails because she was flirting with me and she had kissed me at the bar. And you remember I disappeared for like 10 minutes? I was- I was with her in the bathroom." He said full of guilt and regret. The tears that were hidden when I heard him first talk, turned into hot fat tears running down my face as I tried to process what was going on.
"You- i- Noah why did you tell me that same day?" I said sniffling and wiping my tears. I hadn't been looking at him this entire time but when I turn, I see him biting his bottom lip with tears rolling down his cheeks as he looked at the floor.
"I was disappointed in myself and I thought that what would be best fro us was me breaking up with you. I was wrong so fucking wrong. The um, the next day me and the girl apologized to each other and she had said that she didn't know what she was doing and she wanted to apologize to you but I didn't let her.
"How the hell did you find her??"
I felt all of my emotions crash into each other and I was confused, mad, sad, but I also felt a little hope for whatever reason.
"She was staying in the same hotel as us, I ran in to her in the lobby."
"So now what? That's it, that's all you wanted to tell me?" I said wanting to desperately leave soon.
"No. Y/N I wanted to apologize and I wanted to say I fucking love you with all of my heart and soul, I would die for you. But now I fucked it up, all of this was my fault." I don't know why, but I felt bad, I knew Noah would never tolerate cheating especially because he's been cheated on many times before, but I don't know if I could forgive him.
"Noah, at this point it doesn't really matter. You fucked up. I had fucked up by not listening to you, and its over, we don't hate each other we can still be friendly but I don't really think that right now is the best moment. I thought he would understand until next thing I now he's on his knees, face buried into my chest, crying.
"Noah? Noah come here." I pulled him into me to hug him even though I should probably be the one crying, I know he's been keeping this in for a long time. He pulled away and muttered a quiet "thank you" I looked him in the eye desperately wanting to curse him out, but at the same time my body- no, my soul ached for his love and touch. As we were looking at each other lost in our eyes I just said to him.
"Noah i don't care if I regret what I'm about to do, fuck it." I crashed my lips on to his in a passionate way, tangling my hands with his short soft hair. It started as a sweet and innocent kiss, then turned into a heated hungry kiss. I lifted myself to go on his lap, and when I felt his hard, I started to grind on him without thinking.
"Fuck princess, are you sure?" Of course hearing his old pet name made you go fucking wild.
"I'm more than sure handsome."
He turned us around and started peppering kisses down my jaw, neck, and chest. I started whining which he knew was a sign that I wanted needed more.
"Angel, right now, I'm gonna worship you like you're my goddess, like your my muse. Because you're my fucking everything" he said while going to take off your skirt and corset. Once he saw that you were wearing his favorite lace set underneath his eyes went black with lust and desire for you. He took his shirt off and went down to kiss my thighs.
"Noah- fuck, more, I need mo-"
"Shhh princess, don't worry I'm gonna take care of you. So. Well."
He had been smothering me in kisses for five minutes straight. I thought it was going to keep going until I felt his finger rub the damp spot on my panties, "Fuck noah" I breathed out. His finger slowly rubbed lazy circles on the same spot until he took off my panties off and went right in, he started with giving me soft kisses at first he was being gentle, then he started sucking and licking harder, and faster, I felt like I would cum three times just because of this and he wasn't even doing much yet, and yet the first time I came on his tongue was because of that.
"Baby do you want more? You want to come on my tongue again?"
"uh huh, please noah."
"such good manners princess."
Just him saying that, made me go absolutely feral. He slipped a finger inside of me without warning, spelling his name with his tongue on me marking me as his forever, just like he promised.
"Noah, fuck, I need m- more" I said desperately wanting to be badly to body, deeply connected to him in all different forms.
"More of what angel?" He said while still pumping his finger in and out of me.
"I need you Noah, only you- Ahhhh" I felt the euphoric feeling wash over me in the moment I hit my second climax, my fingers gripped the bed sheets and my back arched as I bit my lip to the point where there was a little blood, to then which Noah licked off when he came back up and kissed me gently, I could taste myself on his lips. It felt as I was in heaven in this moment and Noah was angel, but it also felt as if this was the worst sin that I would commit, but if it was, I would sin for the rest of my life with him.
"Ahh noah?"
"yes princess?"
"I. Need. Your. Cock." I asked, I knew I sounded needy but I didn't give a fuck in the moment.
"Doll, you forgot the magic word"
"I need your cock, please Noah."
"Of course baby." He stood from the mattress and took of his shirt, then his shorts and boxers all in one, when I saw his dick I wanted to fucking jump this man, I don't know what came over me but I forgot the need to feel him inside of me and I just got on my knees on the floor and start lightly stroking him.
"Oh fuck baby what are you doing?" He asked while throwing his head back. "Giving you a little gift" I took the head of his cock in my mouth, and I started peppering kisses at first just like he did to me, then I took him entirely in my mouth, usually I would work up to it but I just needed to taste him. I bobbed my head up and down his cock, while taking with my hands what I couldn't take in my mouth. He started grabbing my head and guiding me to where he wanted me most. A sign that he was gong to release soon.
"Oh fuck- im, I'm gonna cum babe." He said, his voice a low growl. "I know baby, you can cum for me." Right as I said that he came all over my tongue and after I swallowed it I showed him my tongue so he could see. I stood up from the ground and lightly kissed him.
Later.
We cleaned up and got our clothes back on and shared a romantic kiss. *Knock knock* "Who is it?" Noah called.
"its Nicholas."
"come in" the door opened to reveal Nicholas, he looked confused on how and why you were still here.
"Y/N? I thought you had left an hour ago."
"oh uh no, me and Noah were catching up and talking but, I'm about to leave."
"ok... Well, Noah I was gonna ask if you wanted pizza since its like 11:30."
"Yeah sure man." Nicholas gave a nod and said bye to you. Noah looked at you in relief that you guys weren't caught earlier.
"Sooo." You said awkwardly. "sooo." Noah mirrored.
"You wanna get sushi with me tomorrow?" Of fucking course that's the first thing he says.
You lightly chuckled and said, "sure ba-Noah. Fuck sorry I keep saying that" you said while your cheeks flushed red.
"You don't have to apologize Y/N. Look just in warning, I'm gonna try till the day I die to get you back, but I know you won't forgive me right away, with all of my soul I'm going to make it feel like we're falling in love again. Just like the day I first laid my eyes on you." He said when he placed his hand on your thigh.
"Noah, you're already winning me back, because I will always be stupidly in love with you." You kissed him right after you said that seeing hope and love sparkle in his eyes. You didn't care how much time it took you wanted to spend eternity with Noah and even then, it wouldn't be enough. You would go through good and bad in your lives, but you would go through it together.
Forever.
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AHHHHH!!!
I hope you guys liked it!
so I have some news! If you guys like this little one-shot I will start taking requests for one-shots, headcanons and blurbs every friday!! So if you like it then you can send in requests anyway and I will post different ones on Friday's!!!
-Evelyn❤
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arainywriter · 2 days
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this is going to probably be the longest post of my life, and i HATE getting into fandom discourse which is why i don't usually write anything about fandom discourse, but i just want to address some things about our favorite rat grinders so if you want to read, click below
as someone who loves the rat grinders as nuanced antagonists who are also teenagers, i think the rat grinders before they ever joined in on porter and jace's plan were assholes.
i think they were the quiet bullies, the mean people who you never notice until they are mean to you, the ones who seem nice and respectable up close, but talk shit about you the minute you're gone.
i think most of them (kipperlilly in particular) were looking for a reason to be bad. and i know we might not ever get this confirmation, but based off kipperlilly's file and other moments with the trg, i think it's possible this is correct.
they were assholes who needed a reason to be even bigger, more dangerous assholes and most of them took it. and yes, it was either that or be dead, but i want you to know that sometimes that's not even a question. sometimes you don't even care about the other option, you just want to rage.
i think the one time all of them or maybe some of them even thought that what they were doing could be was when lucy died. and that's when i feel bad for them. they had to lock in right there because they all had made a decision, and they all needed to continue it. that's the manipulation.
i know they are kids. they are just teenagers. i work with teens, and guys, let me tell you, some teenagers are assholes. and i don't mean say a funny mean joke asshole, i mean literally going to grow up and be a shitty person asshole. i think some of the rat grinders were those kind of teens.
did they deserve to be redeemed? i think some of them do. i think buddy has a big shot at being redeemed, and i genuinely hated that he died in the last stand and had to make that decision. i think ally is going to try if they can. i think mary ann might be redeemed.
but also, you guys have to remember that this is dnd. i don't think many of you have played dnd before, or if you have you're just really conscientious about everything you do. because as a dm who has played dnd and has made nuanced antagonists, your players are gonna straight up kill them.
brennan knows that. i'm 100% sure he knows that. this isn't scripted. the intrepid heroes aren't thinking about what the fans want every time they play. in dnd, ESPECIALLY in brennan's dnd, it's kill or be killed.
the rat grinder's weren't going to use non-lethal attacks. they were going to kill the bad kids, and they were going to be UNNATURALLY happy throughout it all. they were going to spit in their faces and roast marshmallows on their bodies. they were going to not feel guilty.
sound familiar?
i think the bad kids have been nice to the rat grinders since day one. not kind, nice. they've been polite and nice to them, not going all in until this fight. if this fight happened before the finale, i think the rat grinders would have had more time to be redeemed (ex. see Ragh in season 1 who def would have died in the finale battle if the bad kids hadn't fought him earlier). but the bad kids are stressed and done.
there is no time to be polite and nice when the world is going to end.
i know you liked these characters. i did too. i'm sad to see them go, but even when someone is nuanced and could be redeemed, the person they were a piece of shit to doesn't have to be the one to redeem them. they don't have to be the one to keep them alive and make sure they only get taken the police instead of dead. cause trg would have gone to jail.
aelwyn did. so would they.
people you've wronged don't owe you forgiveness or redemption. trg didn't wrong tbk that bad, but they made them angry, they tried to kill them, and they're probably almost close to ending the world.
i'll miss you rat grinders. you guys were perfect narrative foils, but it was always going to end like this.
now stop being absolute assholes to the intrepid heroes just cause they didn't play how you wanted.
love this fandom, and yeah, d20 get shit wrong sometimes. always make sure to critique your favorite piece of media.
but at the end of the day, this isn't your table to play dnd at. this is theirs and they are having fun. why don't you go and play as the rat grinders in your home game and give them the ending they deserve, or make fanfiction about it?
put your anger into that.
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georgeclarkesgf · 2 days
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Please can we get some george fluff/smut??
of course, sorry it's taken so long <3
work was killing you. the hours, the workload, it was all becoming too much and you felt like you hadn't seen george in weeks. so when you got to his apartment and kicked off your shoes, appreciating the feeling of carpet under your feet, you knew you just needed george.
it was unusually quiet, the sound of laughter and the boy's voices being absent. instead, you were met with an empty kitchen and living room, so you headed to his room, figuring he'd probably be at his desk editing.
which is exactly where he was.
"george?" you said softly, catching his attention as he turned his head, taking off his headphones.
"hey, how was work?" the question was simple enough, but it made you want to cry.
"it was awful george. it was such a long day. i just wanted to come and see you. missed you so much." tears were threatening to fall and george was quick to stand up and wrap his arms protectively around you, kissing the top of your head.
"i'm sorry you had such a bad day darling, can i do anything to make it better?" george asked, deciding to leave the editing until tomorrow and focus completely on you.
"i'm gonna go shower. join me?" you replied, and by your tone of voice and the tiredness evident on your face, he knew it wouldn't be that kind of shower, but he didn't care.
"of course, i'll wash your hair if you want?" george suggested.
giving him a nod in response and a quick peck on his lips, you made your way to his bathroom and started the shower, the hot water instantly relaxing your muscles as soon as you got in.
george joined a few minutes later, pulling you into him and letting you rest your weight against him while he ran his fingers up and down your back. the silence between you both was more than welcomed, a stark contrast to the constant noise and arguments you'd dealt with all day.
"you okay?" he whispered when you rested your chin on his chest, staring up him with a soft smile on your lips.
"thank you," george furrowed his brows in confusion, not knowing what you were thanking him for, "thank you for always knowing what to say to make me feel better and dropping whatever you're doing to make sure i'm okay. i really don't deserve you. i love you."
the way those last three words slipped off your tongue so easily made george's heartbeat speed up.
the ones he'd never felt the need to say to anyone other than his family and close friends.
the ones that neither of you had said to each other yet.
the ones that he'd wanted to tell you for so long.
"george?"
he hummed in acknowledgment as he stared back at you, needing to process your words.
"if you don't want to say it back yet that's fine. i don't want you to say it just because i did. but i wanted you to know that i do. i love you." you grew nervous from his silence, going to unwrap your arms from around him and get on with your shower, but he only tightened his arms around you and captured your lips in a kiss.
"you have no idea how long i've wanted to tell you that i love you y/n." he said as he swore to himself he was never going to forget this moment, smile never once leaving his face.
relief flooded over you, your nerves disappearing as you let out a breath you didn't know you were holding.
"why didn't you?"
"i was scared," george admitted, "it sounds stupid i know. but i think it's because i've not been in a serious enough relationship where i felt the need to tell someone i love them. with you i felt something was different. and i was right. i love you."
"i love you too george clarke."
a/n hope you enjoyed this! i went with fluff cause i'm hopefully going to post some smut in the next few days <3 (i didn't really know how to end this, sorryyyy)
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ros3ybabes · 2 days
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🎀 Workout Youtubers
I currently do exclusively pilates and yoga workouts from youtube. However, I've done other body weight workouts with various youtube videos and seen results in the past. Here is my list of workout youtubers that you could check out! I will put a * next to my personal favorites! I will include a short list of my current at home workout equipment at the end as well as some items I plan on buying soon!
With any workout program or routine, always be safe, check with your doctor if necessary, and if something doesn't feel good or right, don't do it! No matter what your goals are, it's always important to be safe and stay healthy. Please always take care of yourselves and know how beautiful, worthy and valuable you are no matter what! I love you all <333
🩷 Pilates
Move with Nicole * (also posts occasionally barre and yoga videos as well! I love her videos so so much)
Madeleine Abeid
IsaWelly
Pilatesbodyraven
Lidia Mera
Lottie Murphy
Amanda Blauer
Margaret Elizabeth
Jessica Valant Pilates
Bailey Brown
Dansique Fitness
Flow with Mira
Sivi (she's began posting some pilates inspired workouts and to my knowledge is currently getting certified as an instructor)
🩷 Yoga
Yoga with Adriene *
Yoga with Bird
Boho Beuatiful Yoga
🩷 Bodyweight Fitness/Strength/HIIT
Chloe Ting * (I don't like the click bait, but I like the workouts)
Blogilates
Pamela Reif *
Madfit *
Lilly Sabri * (Some of her videos are titled with pilates, but the older ones I used to do were not pilates, so I categorized her here)
Emi Wong
Shirlyn Kim
Vivian Yuan
April Han
growingannanas
growwithjo * (I love her walking workouts)
Hinafit
Mish Choi
Sami Clarke
Elenifit
Coach Kel (she posts what looks like more barre, ballet, pilates inspored/fusion workouts it seems)
Caroline Girvan
TRAIN WITH GAINSBYBRAINS
Daisy Keech
🎀 Current At Home Workout Equipment I Own
Thick Yoga Mat - since I do mainly yoga and pilates my thick yoga may (amazon brand) has served me well. Even tho I am a heavier woman at the moment, I've never had pain or any issues with this mat, and it came with a carry strap which I love! A good, thick workout mat is definitely necessary for working out at home for comfort, safety, etc. Make sure to disinfect it on occasion, especially if you sweat on it a lot!
Resistance Bands - I have about 3 or 4 at different resistance strengths, and they're incredibly useful for a variety of movements, especially lower body ones. They add some extra resistance and make the workouts a bit more challenging when you need something more advanced. I also got mine from Amazon/Walmart a while back. I prefer fabric over rubber because I like to wear workout shorts instead of workout leggings.
Pilates Ball - not a necessity, but useful with some pilates workouts and movements. I have seen sole videos using this, but am not advanced enough to try it on my own yet. Will use for sure once I'm more advanced.
3lb dumbbells - I thought these would be useful for the pilates workouts that had some upper body focus, and as someone who wants to develop a lean and toned upper body, they are perfect for low weight high rep, controlled movements. Again, not advanced enough to use as I want to master my form, but they're gonna come in handy for sure!
Foam Roller - so so good for stretching and muscle recovery on rest days. I love mine but want one that has the bump things on it to help my muscles more. I can imagine how good it'll feel on my legs during a recovery day when I begin wieght lifting again.
Massage Gun - my holy grail for the days I am sore and needing some recovery. my body feels like jelly after using this, and it's just so nice for the days my muscles feel extra tight and super sore.
🎀 Equipment I Want To Buy
Yoga Blocks - these will help me get deeper into the yoga poses once I get more advanced in my practice
Pilates Ring - this honestly looks so fun and challenging to use, I'd love to add it to my collection of useful workout equipment!
Jump Rope - I used to love this as a form of cardio and as long as I don't move into an upstairs apartment, I'm definitely buying one
Pilates Bar - still iffy on this one, it's supposed to mimic a reformer but I want to get better at mat pilates and see if I even end up ever needing or seriously wanting to buy it, its on my list tho
Ankle/Wrist weights - these are gonna be so useful for workouts where hand held dumbbells aren't useful. Want to buy some low weight ones just to help with resistance and extra strength during pilates workouts
Kettlebell weight - I think this would be useful for a workout at home type situation if and when I switch to not doing just pilates and yoga. I know these are useful in their own right, but not needed in my current fitness stage of life.
Core Sliders - these look fun and interesting. They're on my lost for sure, but not sure about the practicality of their use in my life just yet.
That's all that's currently on my at home workout equipment list! As someone who primarily works out at home, the things I currently own are most useful and most of what's on this list is for fun or extra challenge. Just not necessary yet.
hope you enjoyed this list! if you have any questions about my favorite youtuber workout instructors or favorite videos, please feel free to ask, I've tried so many and can give some guidance from my own experience and research.
til next time lovelies 🩷
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shaunashipman · 2 days
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I'm a new 9-1-1 viewer (binge watched the first 6 seasons like two weeks before the new one came out and been watching season 7 as it comes out) and I'm so glad I found your blog because it annoys me how most of the conversation around the show is always about b*ddie and I really needed to find people who weren't b*ddie shippers. Like, I get why people ship it even if I don't particularly see it or agree with it but they're always trying to prove how this plot point or the other points at them becoming canon next episode and it's so annoying? Especially now that Tommy is in the picture because I think he's such a great LI for Buck and has so much endgame potential but they're all talking about him being a "stepping stone" for their ship and completely ignoring how this is a chance for him to be in a loving, stable relationship in the long run, something he absolutely deserves.
Honestly sometimes I feel like b*ddie shippers don't even care or like Eddie and Buck, they just want them to kiss onscreen and ignore their well written arcs just because they don't end up in them being canon (which honestly after seven seasons of the same clownery they should have learnt by now that maybe it's just not happening and that's okay! they're well thought out, fully fleshed characters that don't need to be involved romantically to have a satisfying storyline!)
welcome to the fandom, and my blog 👋👋👋
it is unfortunate that the show has so many great characters and dynamics that get consistently drowned out by a single fanon ship. i get it if you're just here for b*ddie, but to make a big fuss over losing a single scene in another couple's big episode? when you still got something? sometimes you need a reality check that the show is actually about other people too
fandom is not about hunting for hints that your ship is going canon. like, i have never seen a fandom that seems to spend more time "proving" their ship is gonna go canon than actually, you know, doing fandom stuff. (i was not in spn/destiel, idk what nonsense went on there) we're supposed to ignore what the TPTB say while we play with our dolls because it doesn't matter, not ignore what they say because clearly they're lying and misdirecting and building up to do what they have have said, as explicitly as they can in tv world, won't be happening. this obsession with "going canon" is, frankly, weird in fandom.
my blood pressure goes up when i read the phrase "stepping stone". even if bucktommy doesn't last, they will never have been a stepping stone. one, because it is a relationship, and relationships can't be stepping stones, that is such a cynical way to look at things and really makes me wonder about some of these people's real life relationships (yeah i know it's fiction, but y'all take it too far in your vitriol for it not to be invading your personal lives) and two, because b*ddie is not happening, so it can't be a stepping stone to it.
they have done everything they can except saying "b*ddie isn't happening" because in tvland ambiguity is your best friend. but ryan calling eddie heterosexual twice is not ambiguous. and i've already said, but ignoring what ryan has said about the coming out scene because it doesn't fit your headcanon is extremely disrespectful. it is fiction, but it is fiction made by people drawing from real life experiences and y'all are shitting on that
and tommy does have such potential!! they like to shit on us for saying that, "oh he's only been there for 4 eps, we don't even know anything about him", and, ignoring that we actually do know some stuff about tommy, more than we've gotten for other LI's, that's why we say potential. we are looking at possible future storylines and seeing how tommy could fit. we are looking at what was lacking in prev LI's (not in a deficient way, just in a compatibility way) and seeing how tommy can fill the spaces they couldn't.
we're basing our theories of him at least sticking around for a bit, not on wardrobe hints and coded gazes and what actors post on their socials, but by what we've seen on-screen, what has been said in interviews in black&white no hidden meaning, and by simple knowledge of story pacing.
and we could be completely wrong. that's part of it being a theory; the acknowledgement that it is not guaranteed . once you start insisting something is 100% going to happen, it's no longer a theory
wow this got long 🫣 sorry for making you read all that, if you're still here lmao. but conciseness is not my strong suit, so enjoy my babbling if you stick around, and feel free to drop in my inbox anytime
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