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nanowrimo · 7 months

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4 Alternatives to Popular Writing Advice

Some writing advice get passed off as something every writer has to do. The truth is, these tips might not work for everybody! NaNo participant Nicole Wilbur offers some alternatives to popular writing advice that may be a better fit for your writing needs.

While there are no definitive writing “rules”, there’s certainly writing advice so common it feels like it’s become canon. Most popular writing advice is generally good – but what if it doesn’t light up your brain? What if a particular tip doesn’t resonate with you?

If this popular advice isn’t working - try these alternatives!

Common advice: Make your character want something. Alternative: Ask what your character is most afraid of.

Your character usually wants something – the MC’s goal driving the story is a common plot, after all. That something needs to be concrete, meaning the audience will know definitively when they’ve achieved their goal.

(Is “found independence” concrete? No. Signed the lease on their first apartment? Yes.)

But if you aren’t sure yet, or what they want doesn’t feel motivating enough to support your inciting incident, start with a different question: what is your character afraid of?

Katniss wants to survive, with her family, yes. But she’s terrified of helplessly watching them die.

Common advice: Identify your story’s theme and stick it on a post- it above your computer. Alternative: Use the character’s arc to create a main idea statement, and craft several related questions your story explores.

English class really made ‘theme’ feel heavy-handed. In my grade nine English class, we listed the themes of To Kill a Mockingbird as: coming of age, racism, justice, and good vs. evil.

While these are the topics explored in the book, I’ve never found this advice helpful in writing. Instead, I like to use the controlling idea concept (as in Robert McKee’s Story) and exploratory questions (as in John Truby’s Anatomy of Genres).

A controlling idea is a statement about what the author views as the “proper” way to live, and it’s often cause-and-effect. The exploratory question is – well, a question you want to explore.

In It’s a Wonderful Life, the controlling idea is something to the effect of “Life is meaningful because of our relationships” or “our lives feel meaningful when we value our family and community over money.” The question: How can a single person influence the future of an entire community?

Common advice: List out your character’s traits, perhaps with a character profile. Alternative: Focus on 2-3 broad brushstrokes that define the character.

When I first started writing, I would list out everything I wanted my character to be: smart, daring, sneaky, kind, greedy, etc. I created a long list of traits. Then I started writing the book. When I went back to look at the traits, I realized the character wasn’t really exhibiting any of these.

Instead of a long list of traits to describe your character, try identifying three. Think of these like three brush strokes on a page, giving the scaffolding of your character. Ideally, the combination of traits should be unexpected: maybe the character is rule-following, people-pleasing, and ambitious. Maybe the character is brash, strategic, and dutiful.

Then – and this is the fun part – consider how the traits come into conflict, and what their limits are. What happens when our ambitious rule-follower must break the law to get what she wants? Sure, a character might be kind, but what will make her bite someone’s head off?

Common advice: Create a killer plot twist. Alternative: Create an information plot.

Readers love an unexpected plot twist: whether a main character is killed or an ally turns out to be the bad guy, they’re thrilling. But plotting towards one singular twist can be difficult.

Instead of using the term plot twist, I like thinking in terms of Brandon Sanderson’s “information” plot archetype.

An information plot is basically a question the reader is actively trying to work out. It could be like Sarah Dessen's Just Listen where we wonder "what happened between Annabel and her ex-best friend?", "why is Annabel's sister acting strangely?" and "who is Owen, really?" Those all have to do with backstory, but information plots can be about pretty much any hidden information. Another popular question is "who is the bad guy?" - or in other words, "who is after the characters?" The Charlie's Angel franchise, for example, tends to keep viewers guessing at who the true antagonist is until the last few scenes.

Nicole Wilbur is an aspiring YA author, writing sapphic action-adventure stories that cure wanderlust. As a digital nomad, she has no house and no car, but has racked up a ridiculous number of frequent flier miles. She chronicles her writing and travelling journey on her YouTube channel and Chasing Chapters substack.

Photo by George Milton

#nanowrimo #writing #writing advice #writing tips #plotting #characters #by nano guest #nicole wilbur

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obeymematches · 8 days

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MC acting oblivious!

since you're accepting hcs now, how about an mc whos a big tease/bully (aka mammons worst nightmare lol)? im quick to realize when someone has a crush on me and when i like them back i turn into the biggest tease on earth until the other person confesses. im good at acting oblivious so its always "wait, they cant possibly know i like them, right??" poor, poor souls lmao. so im wondering how the brothers+undateables would handle an mc like that! keep up the great work! 💕

Hi, good to see you again !!! <3

okay i love this so much lets go !

Lucifer:

Okay so in his case it’s mentioned several times that he is in love with the MC so this ain’t just some crush he’s being teased about but that’s one of the reasons why he loves you so much.

He is rather guarded emotianlly as his pride isn’t going to let him just fall for anyone. But once he does he is not going to deny it!

Lucifer is someone who will ask you out on a date without a warning. The only thing you might notice beforehead is that he spends suspiciously lots of his time with you. (by a lot in his case I mean something in between 30 and 60 mins every second day. he’s a busy man)

Him: My schedule is tight today but I would like to spend time with you, MC, would you care to join me at a confectionary? MC: sounds like you’re very busy, are you sure about that? 🥺 Him, slightly offended but still lovingly: Yes, MC. Let me express myself better... would you please have a date with me today? MC: oh....um-

Mammon:

● oh god, oh jesus, oh no

● We all know The Great Mammon has a hard time admitting his feelings out loud, with words, bluntly.

● So the way I see it, the situation is about to be Awkward As Hell.

● Mammon is clearly sweating, butterflies occupying his entire stomach, he fiddles with his nails.

● Him: So MC, I was thinking- I mean I'm thinking- wanna go skating with me tonight?

MC: Oh that's a very romantic idea- but I think friends don't just go skating, you know.

Him: Friends??! I don't wanna be just your friend MC-

You: Then? Then what?

Him: Goddamn I- I just want to be yours- Jesus ya are makin' it so difficult MC, it is not easy as is!!

Leviathan:

● ahh the frustrated face he makes through this conversation isn't just a facade. He really is stressing right now.

● Him: MC.... there is something I must tell you. And you only. Please listen and don't tell anyone!

MC: Don't worry Levi, I too hate people who gossip-

Him: No it's not like that. I have a desire in my heart that I must share with you as you are the most special person I ever met and I can only hope you feel the same way for me and- I feel so embarassed but I've been meaning to ask you this- would you be my partner? My player 2?

MC: well if you wanted me to play you could have just said so like you always do-

Levi: What?? Is that what you understood? No MC you don't get it! Ahhh I knew I shouldn't have asked you my chances with you are close to zero-

MC: Wait Levi I'm so sorry-

Satan:

● You could tell he was acting different these past couple of days. He was texting you more, he offered to spend more time with you- it was obvious he likes you.

● He knocked on your bedroom door and as you liked him just as much as he liked you, of course you let him in.

● I think you acting like you don't know what's going on turns him on? Like he know you ain't stupid. He knows you like him at least a little bit too, otherwise he wouldn't be here talking with you.

● Him: So MC, are you free now?

MC: Well, it depends on how you define "free" I think.

Him: Oh quit it please.

MC: I would if I knew what you were up to right now-

Him: Alright. You are going to make it more complicated, I see. In this case, meet me at 4PM at the common room. Please. I'd like to take you on a date if you're free.

MC: Inside the house? Weird if you ask me-

Him: ...... you are right actually. Let's meet at the park then. Don't be late.

Asmo:

● Again he would absolutely love you acting like you noticed nothing when he couldn't be more clear about what he wants.

● He knows this game though & he is quicker than you are.

● Him, cuddling you: So MC I have been thinking about us....what are we?

● MC: We are.... the best. Me, a human, and you, a demon.

Him: Nooooo, you know that's not what I meant!!!

MC: Well I don't know what you mean Asmo. Aren't we though?

Him: Aren't we what? A human and a demon?? Ahhhhg stop playing with me MC!

Beelzebub:

● Ohh babe is going to believe you actually don't know what' going on-

● I think he'd find it funny when he realizes you were just acting like such-

Him: MC. I like you.

MC: Okay, I like you too. That's why I'm your friend.

Him: Yes we are friends I know... but to me you are the first person I want to talk to if anything happens, good or bad... you are on my mind all the time, no matter what- I haven't felt like this in my entire life- you are the most special person to me, MC.

MC: Ohhh... I didn't realize-

Him: I only went out with Mammon yesterday because I thought... I was hoping you'd be there to, that you'd join... I just wanted to spend more time with you. But you weren't there. Let's go somewhere together today- I mean, if you want to-

Belphegor:

● MC you are about to annoy him to deatg to be fair.

● Depending on his mood he might join you though!!!

Him: So human- I mean MC. Let's hang out today.

MC: We already do.

Him: I meant as a date, stop playing stupid.

MC: I don't like being called stupid. Is this how you are asking me out on a date??

Him: See I knew you knew what I meant!

MC: Why would you ask me on a date though, aren't we just friends?

Him: .....

Him: We could change that- I want to be your one and only.

MC: Well if you are my one and only friend I might get lonely when you're too busy for me though-

Him: Stop it don't say another word. Are you coming today or not? MC? You listening?

MC: you just asked me to shut up-

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inoreuct · 5 months

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drink from me

a sherry-laced conversation about thirst and running away. zosan | 2k | hurt/comfort

Being a coward isn’t as easy as one might think.

It’s juxtaposition in its own right; cowardice is, as defined, a lack of bravery— And yet Sanji supposes it takes bravery to be able to ditch everything you stand for. To turn tail and run. Bravery to bear upon your shoulders the disappointment of everybody who had ever believed in you.

He sighs deeply, tilting the bottle in his hand so that the dregs of liquor slosh within. This is why he doesn’t drink.

It’s relatively easy most days. To lock his past behind a set of double doors, bar the handles with a padlock and chain so he can pretend that everything he’s running from isn’t just three paces behind, snapping at his heels, starved and ready to eat him up whole. Alcohol slots the key back into place and twists it without his permission. Twists his heart until it aches.

He doesn’t know why he’d started. The bottle of sherry had sat, nondescript and guileless and half-full on the galley table after the night’s dessert, and Sanji had paused before he’d slowly wrapped his fingers around the neck of it and let his nails scrape against the dark glass.

The cork had popped almost too easily and here he is now, taffrail digging into his forearms as he takes a long drag from his cigarette and lets bitter smoke fill his lungs full to bursting. Blood orange coats the back of his tongue, cloyingly sweet, thick on the roof of his mouth— He’d made a layered trifle with cacao nibs and caramelised cream that had been slathered between slabs of boozy vanilla sponge, and the aftertaste clings to his teeth. Sanji peers down as what’s left of the sherry glimmers vaguely inside the bottle and fights the urge to chug the rest.

He could, if he really wanted to. He hardly drinks but it certainly doesn’t mean he can’t.

A soft scrape against wood catches his attention, barely perceptible. He fights to keep his spine from stiffening, fights to maintain his loose-limbed, easy demeanor; the liquid warmth in his veins helps some but not enough, and he’s halfway through another drag when near-silent footsteps stop just behind him.

Zoro’s haori shifts in the wind, palm loosely wrapped around the end of Wado’s hilt where she’s strapped alone to his hip. “Was wondering where you went,” he says easily, looking out over the ocean.

Sanji scoffs. It burns his throat more than the sherry did. “For someone built like that, you’re surprisingly quiet, marimo.”

The immediate urge to kick himself is something new. He rarely feels it— It appears often, don’t get him wrong, he just. Ignores it. It’s a little more difficult tonight. Built like that. The noise that escapes him is mirthless. What’s that even supposed to mean, huh? Alcohol’s always made him snappy and he does feel bad for once — But he’s tired, and the chores won’t do themselves.

“Make it quick, would you?” he mutters when Zoro still hasn’t replied, low and quiet in the still evening air as he curves down to dig the heel of his palm into his temple. “My spice jars are still all over the counter, and I have to mop the floor before I wash the dishes—”

“It’s done.”

Sanji blinks, before his eyes narrow and he turns his head to look at Zoro properly. “The dishes?”

“Everything.” The swordsman huffs when Sanji gives him a dubious look, gaze flicking over and away again as he rolls his eye. “Luffy asked me to clean up the galley. Said you needed a break.”

Well. The cook exhales, measured, and buries his face into the crook of his elbow. Taps his cig so that ash doesn’t fall into his hair where he’s holding it aloft above his head. “Tell him thanks, but I don’t.”

He clocks it out of his peripheral vision when Zoro smirks and waves a hand to gesture to his cigarette and his slouch and the glass bottle dangling against wood. “What’s this, then?”

I don’t know. Shop’s closed, please fuck off and come back tomorrow morning.

The other words that sit at the tip of Sanji’s tongue are far more scathing. He feels them, bites them back viciously before he can burn anyone other than himself. “If there’s a single thing out of place in there I’m gonna—”

“Kick my ass, I know, I know.” Zoro chuckles under his breath. “Don’t you get tired of saying the same things over and over again?”

“Maybe I wouldn’t have to if you didn’t constantly choose to be selectively deaf, moss-for-brains.”

The swordsman huffs another soft laugh, and conversation peters out after that. Sanji feels an itch building at the base of his skull, flickering just under his skin; it’s making him restless. He taps the bottle against the rail just to fill the silence. Zoro reaches a hand out and Sanji gives it to him easily, unthinkingly, watching and pretending he isn’t as the swordsman thumbs over the faded paper label that’s peeling at the corner.

Zoro’s hands are scarred, he notes. He knows this, of course, but he never gets tired of letting his gaze drift over tan skin and old scars, thin slivers of pearly tissue painted silver in the moonlight. A breeze ruffles his hair as Zoro finally drinks, and he’s distantly surprised to see that it’s a measured sip and not a swig like what it usually would have been.

Fucking hell. Sanji’s inhale shudders when he pushes himself up and stands straight, now-free hand wrapping around lacquered wood as he finishes his cigarette and tosses the butt over the side. He needs to stop thinking. He’s paying too much attention. There’s a pressure building behind his forehead and Zoro is an overwhelming presence beside him, unavoidable, stoic and staunch as ever, perfect posture, perfect honour, a sentinel with a pure white sword like some sort of— of hero from a storybook. Perfect perfect perfect.

It’s all building like a scream behind his lips, a river at a bottleneck, and he clenches his jaw to keep it in. Grits his teeth until he hears them creak because what would happen if he opened his mouth? Nothing good, he’s sure. Nothing anyone needs.

Sanji nearly startles when the bottle taps against his elbow. “Talk to me.”

“Nothing to say,” he replies immediately, taking a careless gulp and holding in a cough.

Zoro’s slow exhale feels like it shifts the wind itself. Their ship creaks gently. “You always have something to say, curls.”

“Look, you—” He cuts himself off, tempering his breath. “I’m tired, alright? So can you just get to the point?” Fuck, he needs another cigarette.

Maybe that’s the problem. He knows he’s the problem, sure, but Sanji suspects that he’s been running for so long that he’s forgotten how to walk. It’s grown into him like weeds wound through his ribs, the way he sees poison in water that’s perfectly clean, the way peace makes him more anxious than chaos does. He needs to stop running. He doesn’t know how.

Zoro pries the sherry from his fingers and it’s only then that he relaxes the death grip he’d unintentionally had, a shudder slipping over his shoulders. Zoro holds the bottle loosely between his scarred fingers and doesn’t drink.

The silence thickens. Static crackles within his bones.

Sanji doesn’t know why he starts talking. Doesn’t know why it feels like a dam breaking in his chest, but his mouth is open, and the words are emptying out. “I’m tired of looking over my shoulder for something that isn’t there. Luffy gave me something to run towards, for once, but—”

He doesn’t know how to say it’s not enough without sounding ungrateful, without being greedy. “Sometimes I think I could… consume every one of the Blues, and still want more,” he allows. “Need more.” His fingers lace together, and Sanji dips his head with a wry smile even as he looks at the endless expanse of sky in front of them. “I’m afraid I’ll drink the world and still come up dry.”

There is a thirst in him. Something different than what had wracked him for a month on that barren rock. Hunger he can handle; he eats just enough to stave it off and goes about his day. This, though— Sanji can’t help the way it buzzes in the back of his head and keeps him wound up like a coil of electrical wire. He kneads dough and whisks egg whites just to have something to do with his hands. He defaults to his usual barbs when he’s feeling ungrounded so he can kid himself into thinking he possesses some semblance of normality. His shoulders ache as he stares out over the sea and wonders what it’s like to hold so much and still, still, be so achingly empty.

The winds change, carding cool fingers through his hair.

“Drink from me,” Zoro says, and Sanji’s breath catches between his teeth.

His head snaps up to find Zoro already looking at him, face unreadable, elbows on the taffrail and bottle cupped in his hands. The swordsman looks serene, Sanji thinks. Gaze trained straight ahead, ever clear of his objectives as Wado gleams at his side, starlight in an ivory sheath.

“Drink from me,” he repeats. The words are solemn as they always are in moments like these, the liminal space just after dusk but before true night, as his eyes shift over to Sanji and lock in place. “I won’t let you go thirsty again.”

Sanji’s mouth dries. It’s hard not to feel pinned as Zoro looks at him; the weight of his gaze is almost physically tangible, like a familiar green coat settling over his shoulders. That’s the thing about Zoro— For all Sanji jokes about him having plant life in his skull, the swordsman has a penchant for dropping absolutely earth-shaking statements without even seeming to think about them at all. The cook swallows once, twice, tries to find his words as his lips part and loses them as soon as he takes his next breath.

He doesn’t know if he’ll ever stop feeling like a ticking time bomb. But as Zoro’s lashes flutter and he looks away, Sanji feels something in him settle. The relentless buzz that always seems to sit just beneath his skin soothes out into a quiet hum.

Maybe part of it’s how Zoro’s scarred and still perfect. Untouchable. Sanji couldn’t hurt him even if he tried, even if he blows apart.

His fingers wrap, unthinking, around the neck of the bottle as it’s pushed back into his hand, the pressure of Zoro’s touch lingering until he’s sure that Sanji has a good grip. The swordsman’s boots brush softly across the planks as he turns to leave and he’s halfway to the stairs before Sanji speaks.

“Marimo.”

He knows Zoro turns without even looking. “Hm?”

“Did Luffy really ask you to clean up the galley?”

A pause, before Zoro starts walking again. “Get some sleep, cook. I’ll take the rest of your watch.”

The silence he leaves in his wake is honey-thick. First watch is Sanji’s shift, it always is— He cleans up the galley and stays awake until Zoro comes to take over.

(The galley is clean. His watch is covered. His mind is quiet.

For once, he can’t find himself another reason to stay.)

The sherry holds no evidence of them ever having shared it. Sanji lifts the tinted glass and there’s no trace of Zoro, no proof that his mouth had ever been where Sanji’s is— None of the candied orange and rosemary from the duck they’d had for dinner, gamey and blood-sweet.

I won’t let you go thirsty again.

Sanji tastes it still, gentle in the back of his throat as he drains the bottle.

#wrote this all listening to hozier #not a necessary accompaniment but cherry wine fits the mood perfectly even though the lyrics don’t 😌#zosan #one piece #roronoa zoro #black leg sanji #sanji #one piece zosan #one piece sanji #zoro #zoro x sanji #one piece zoro #when will i ever stop angsting sanji you ask? NEVER #cuffs him over the head because he doesn’t know how to accept affection LOOK AT HOW MUCH ANGST I CAN FIT IN THIS BAD BOY #ino writes #will i ever stop using fruit and food and liquor as symbolism? also never

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akookminsupporter · 1 year

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Namjoon gave a good interview to Vogue Spain and in it he said a few things that I thought I'd share with those of you who may not understand Spanish.

This was at the end of the article but I want to write it first:

One thing that needs to be made clear about this album is that, no matter how much the rumour mill is trying to spin it, it is by no means the end of the successful band. "Oh, I'm not leaving BTS. Absolutely not. This is the first time I'm launching a solo project like this, so I'm trying to stand up and take my first steps. But I'm ambitious and I have willpower. So I don't want to miss the opportunity to do both. So I will try my best not to lose control and steer these two ships at the same time. A lot of bands split up and fall apart, but I hope that doesn't happen to BTS. I just love the music, I love my job, I love the band members and I love myself. If I can keep both projects going, I think it can be something legendary in the long run".

Other important parts of the article:

"The k-pop industry hasn't stopped growing since we debuted with BTS [in 2013]. It's become a lot more complex and has brought a lot more people into its structures. I think there are a lot of lights, but also some slippery shadows. Many of us started our careers very early as a group: we slept and lived together as teenagers. We became a real family, which is great, but this culture has also affected me a lot, because sometimes I find it difficult to be treated as an adult who has autonomy in his decisions. I'm perceived as just another cog in the crew, in the context of a mass phenomenon",

Did you ever feel like you were getting completely lost in this delirium of success? "I used to think so, but the funny thing is that I am fully aware that it was my own choice to devote myself to the k-pop industry. Nobody pushed me into it. But yes, I have lost myself at times. Although perhaps saying this is an excess of 'self-empathy'. There is no answer. Except that, if k-pop is about recharging the batteries of a mass audience and I'm responsible for doing that recharging, then I have to keep my feet firmly on the ground. As an adult, as a musician and as a human being. And these ten years of my career have helped me define who I am and learn to love myself. But I'm still in that process, you know? All these internal struggles will be recorded on records and videos," he explains.

"Music is really necessary for the world, but, when it comes to my music, sometimes I feel like I'm producing something unnecessary. If I were to die tonight, I don't think anything would change. It might matter to some people for a while, but a farmer or a street sweeper is more relevant to the functioning of society. When I ask myself about the role of our generation in historical terms, when I look at all the digital platforms and communities out there, I am overcome with confusion. There are a lot of people who don't want to think. They have frenetic lives and turn to music or television to escape, so the last thing they want is someone trying to lecture them from a pedestal. In that context, I wonder how I can make my music matter. I haven't found an answer yet, but I keep trying to bring my own perspective to it.

As to whether he is afraid that the army he has on Instagram (42.4 million followers) might one day turn against him for a silly mistake or a blunder, RM answers bluntly. "Yes, it scares me. It scares me 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. When I was younger I tried to come across as a cool guy who doesn't give a shit what other people think, but I don't think that's right anymore. I care about the publicity dimension of my career and the influence I can have on others. It stresses me out, yes, but I think I can handle it. That's why I don't retire or do things like go out and drink the night away and then drive drunk. I'm human, I can make mistakes, but I will do everything in my power to be the best version of myself. One of the keys is to treat this job for what it is: a job. I don't think artists have any special rights or status.

Note: if you would like me to translate another part of the interview, let me know.

#Namjoon #RM #vogue spain #bts #bts solo careers #bts break

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lvlyhao · 1 year

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PAC: what are your dreams telling you?

Hello, lovely people! Wow, this was SUCH a positive reading for all piles, I was honestly shocked, but good for y’all haha Also, I’ve been in an Ateez mood lately, so enjoy these beautiful men

♡ Please follow, like and reblog if this resonated with you so I can do more fun readings like this in the future. My paid comissions are open! ♡

How do I choose a pile?

Take a deep breath or two, close your eyes, and focus on the question we’re asking the cards today. Then, take a look at the images above. Which one of them calls your name?

───⋆☆───────────────

If you chose San, welcome to pile 1!

Song: treasure (ATEEZ)

Card: 10 of cups

Wow, ok. This is a very direct message here with both the song and the 10 of cups coming up. It looks like you may have been dreaming about your future with a certain someone lately. It does feel like someone you’ve known for a while, but it doesn’t necessarily mean you’re in union right now. I feel like they might be physically away from you too. It could be the case that they’re travelling or you just haven’t been spending time together. You could also be childhood friends, or maybe you know them from school. It’s like you’re spending your awake time wondering about all the “what if’s” that could come into your life if your relationship went into the next level, and this is actually an amazingly positive prospect. There is no greater emotional fulfillment than this card, my darlings. I’m honestly excited for you!

If you’ve been wondering whether to make a move or not, your dreams are straight up giving you the green light. Go for it! This is about an absolutely fantastic person, who is going to treasure you beyond what you could have ever imagined. They know your value and so do you, so the future you see for the two of you could very well happen in real life. If you know who Spirit is talking about here, I beg you to NOT be afraid of commitments with them. Now, if you’re not sure, it could be that your dreams about them haven’t happened just yet, but they will. Trust yourself and your heart at this moment.

If you chose Wooyoung, welcome to pile 2!

Song: i’m the one (ATEEZ)

Card: queen of cups

The Queen of cups came right out for you, pile 2, and I’m hearing a very clear message about the next few months. It could be that you haven’t been satisfied with where you are right now in life. This could be regarding your personal relationships, your work, studies, anything, really. You just feel stuck and like you can’t seem to feel good about yourself, and that’s fine. What this card is telling me, however, is that the time has come for you to show some compassion and love for yourself. In this case, that means getting your life together and cleaning up your act. The Queen beckons you to create your favorite version of yourself, and to not let past experiences define you anymore.

The past is the past. It’s quite literally water under the bridge, and what went away will not come back. Starting soon (when you feel ready) and from then on, you gotta treat yourself like the main character. You are the one!! You can be the person you’ve always wanted to be. That you already exists somewhere within. So hold your head high and decide where to start. If you’re looking for a physical glow up, this could mean working out and implementing more things to your diet, like fruits or vegetables. If you’re looking for a mental glow up, She advises tons of meditation and spending time outside to connect with the world around you. You are entering the best era of your life.

If you chose Hongjoong, welcome to pile 3!

Song: illusion (ATEEZ)

Card: temperance

My dears, it seems that you might be having quite a mixed bag of dreams and nightmares lately. Either that or you haven’t been feeling well-rested. The Temperance tells me you’re trying to balance out having fun and taking good care of your body and soul, but it’s been difficult. I get it. It’s easy to fall back into old habits while trying to build new ones, but don’t let that get you down.

What this card tells me is that you’re on the right path, and you’re doing the right thing. There’s no need to doubt that. What you do need, however, is to be more patient with yourself. Taking one or two steps back sometimes doesn’t mean you haven’t made any progress. The progress is still there, and it will start to show soon if you just persist. This could also be about manifesting, if you’re into that. Maybe you’ve been going back and forth between thinking ‘I got this’ and then spiraling, wondering why you don’t see any movement. I’m telling you right now: there IS movement. Don’t fall for the illusion that you’re doing it wrong! Getting out of your own head could also be good for you now. All this self-reflection sometimes makes us look inwards a bit too much, so spend some time with your friends, family, and/or pets.

#pick a card #pick a picture #pick a pile #tarot reading #dream reading #tarotcommunity #tarotblr #kpop tarot #ateez tarot #ateez #daily tarot #astrology #divination #pac reading #free tarot #witchblr #pick a card reading

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thisisthinprivilege · 11 months

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How can I overcome internalized fatphobia? How can I not hate what I look like when I'm fat?

This is going to be a different process for everyone, so I'm not sure what will work for you. I will let you know what worked for me, and hopefully you find it helpful.

Deprogramming Step One: Coming to grips with having been programmed in the first place. Beauty standards change from age to age, they are not inborn as far as our research is able to conclude. There's perhaps a weak preference for facial symmetry, but that's about it. Weight-based beauty standards have not only varied wildly through human history, they vary in our very own era, between-cultures. Often what we believe we find beautiful has been programmed into us from a very early age. There's no conspiracy, it's simply how cultural preferences are transmitted within-culture: through the adults we look up to, media, and reinforced by peers. That's not to say deprogramming is a simple matter. It's very difficult. I wonder now, almost 15 years after starting my own journey to deprogram myself, whether who I find beautiful or attractive is rooted in beauty standards I saw reflected as a kid or teen.

Deprogramming Step Two: Define and avoid thin-centric messaging. A big part of this for me was controlling the media I consumed. I unsubscribed to cable, for instance, because of the intrusive and omnipresent weight loss ads. That was 15 years ago, but it's surprising how similar some streaming services/channels are in terms of ad length and intrusiveness these days. Unfortunately, tiktoks/reels aren't entirely controllable. Even though I don't consume weight loss or diet content, weight loss/diet tiktoks/reels pop up occasionally. Besides ads, you should also consider whether your magazines, books, movies, and shows over-focus on the stories of thin people, or demonize fat people. Obviously, stop watching exploitative shows that turn the lives of fat people into sideshows or sob stories. More controversially, you might want to temporarily unsubscribe or mute fat activist content. Fat activism is a highly stressful space where we confront the hatred of fat people explicitly. It's not great for deprogramming thin-centric messaging, because fat activists will be talking about thin-centric messaging from a critical perspective. Take a break, for a while.

Deprogramming Step Three: Exposure to fat-positive content. This is the fun part of the process, where you get a chance to rewrite the aesthetic coding in your brain! I suggest searching out fat models who wear the kind of clothing you like, fat role models who share your interests, fat positive videos showcasing fat people doing amazing things, fat positive art, fat positive fiction and movies, and so on. Fatshion is full of fat positivity. Be wary of "body positive" content, as it can still be subtly or explicitly fatphobic. I warn you, after a few months of exposure to a different aesthetic, thin-centric media is gonna look hella strange. You'll go to see some romcom-flavor-of-the-month movie and be like, "Where are all the fat people? Why is everyone super skinny?"

Deprogramming Step Four: From theory to practice. This step is about starting to wear the clothes you want to wear, being loud and proud to exist as a fat person in public, being romantically bolder if romance is your thing, being more assertive and confident in your body, traveling to the places you've always wanted to go, doing things you were holding back doing before, etc. You may need to dwell in Step Three for a while, or revisit it over and again, in order to complete Step Four. This doesn't mean becoming an activist. This means becoming your authentic self without fat-related qualms. Yes, you will still be constrained by the greater world around you. Traveling, going out to eat, dating, interviewing for jobs, even going to a fucking concert will present constraints and bigotries that smaller people (everything else held equal) don't have to face. But you can now see them as constraints placed on you, not as constraints you place on yourself or that are in any way deserved. Hopefully, you will be able to face them without it destroying your sense of self-worth.

Deprogramming Step Five: The authentic self...? We know that as fat people we are not morally or otherwise inferior to thin(ner) people. So what does it mean to leave our best and most authentic lives, as fat people? This is the human question, that all humans share with each other equally. We are connected to each other, each on our own grand journey to answer this question. When you are able to separate the sociocultural difficulty of being a fat person in a fat-hating society from your own life journey, you have one less barrier to manage in answering the great human question. At this stage, you'll feel calm and comfortable in your body, and surprised when people point out your fatness or treat you differently for it. They're distracted by false moral categories, while you have better things to do. Does anyone ever permanently dwell in this stage? Probably not. But I feel like this most of the time, now. It takes a lot to drag me back into the world where one of the worst things you can call another human is "fatty." I've got books to read and write, math to learn, art to create. A life to live, where my possibilities are not defined by the size of my body.

-ArteToLife

#thin privilege #thin-centric society #deprogramming fat hatred #fat positivity #fat acceptance #fat activism #tips for overcoming fatphobia

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myowndesertplaces · 8 months

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Laudna, for most of this campaign, has desperately wanted to avoid being defined by her trauma. She doesn't always do that in the healthiest way, but she tries.

So for her to say, "What if I feed it? What if I give in? What if I risk it consuming me?," is a change for her.

Laudna only seems to be able to navigate her trauma in the extremes, either compartmentalizing and avoiding it, or letting it over take her. One could argue that actually feeling her anger and need for control is in fact healthier than avoiding it, but I don't believe Laudna sees it that way. Plus feeling extreme emotions and acting on those emotions in a time of distress (ie. Bor'dor) is very different from choosing to actively "feed Delilah." There's clearly a healthier middle ground here, but she can't see it. If Laudna chooses to go down this path, will she lose herself? Or in losing parts of herself to Delilah, will she finally see the woman that Imogen, Ashton, and the rest of the Bell's Hells see? Will she see that she is also deserving of a future as much as Imogen and her friends are?

As frustrating as Laudna's character growth has been for many of us, I still believe Laudna forces us to examine some difficult questions about trauma. How do you move on from a trauma that strips you from your future, physically alters you, and your abuser never leaves you? What would healing and growth look like for that person? Can you get strength by tapping into that anger and grief at times?

Laudna's self-imposed limitations on her own future can make her feel very stagnant as a character. But the fact that she's discussing this with her friends suggests things are changing for her, for better or worse, and I think it's worth discussing (if it interests you of course). More importantly, it's worth discussing on its own merits outside of the context of what this means for Orym and Orym's choices, or any other member of the Bell's Hells. If folks want to defend Laudna when another PC wonders if Delilah can help, we should be willing to talk about what it might mean for Laudna when she says it herself.

#laudna #critical role #cr spoilers #spoilers through c3ep73 #i find it endlessly frustrating that instead of the laudna fans talking about this #and what it means for her #they're talking about what the conversation says about orym #i havent seen a single post or tweet talking about what this means for laudna #the people who are frustrated witb her character have had more to say than the people who claim to love her #imagine ardently defending her when orym wonders if delilah can help #but not have anything to say when laudna suggests it herself in game

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brights-place · 2 months

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Heyyy!! I was wondering if possibly get some Brozone x S/O who has trouble walking?? Like. They have to use crutches to get around and such?? It's alright if not, I adore your writing and hope you have a good day!! ^^

Brozone with Cerebral Palsy S/O

Pairing: Brozone X S/O (Seperate)

Warnings: Cursing, fluff, Mentions of Disabilities

A/N: Okay so I hope you like this one! I worked REALLY hard to study about it because I don't have this condition but if there are fans of mine or people who DO know about it please correct me! help me learn more for this reequest that I could add and make you enjoy!

To the people who don't! know what cerebral palsy is I will explain it to you the best I can! it's a group of disorders that affect a person’s ability to move and maintain balance and posture techniaclly the bets but it is caused by abnormal brain development or damage to the developing brain that affects a person’s ability to control his or her muscles.

The symptoms of it varies from person to person. A person with severe CP might need to use special equipment to be able to walk, or might not be able to walk at all and might need lifelong care. A person with mild CP, on the other hand, might walk a little awkwardly, but might not need any special help. CP does not get worse over time, though the exact symptoms can change over a person’s lifetime. That's the best I could explain it! If I got anything wrong please do tell!

John Dory/JD

- John Dory is quite the interesting person isn't he? - Okay so John Dory is very possessive and protective of you

- Due to his role as the leader of BroZone and his desire to protect his brothers, John Dory tends to be very possessive and protective of you in the relationship. - He wants to make sure you are safe cared for and feel safe in his presence! - He also tends to be wary of other people being too close to you and may be prone to jealousy if they know what to do more then he does - Disability or not he still loves you - John Dory feels insecure about the disparity between him being able to walk and your physical abilities and both of your different experiences with disability. But he understands that it doesn’t define your loving relationship.

- He can be a little too controlling at times but you! as his partner is able to understand and help him work through his tendency to want to manage everything

- John Dory is very affectionate and cares about you too much that he is terrified if you every got hurt - his commitment to improve himself and break free of his past mistakes could be a source of comfort and encouragement for you

- Okay but Imagine John dory staying up late trying to learn how to make sure you would feel about diffret things with your disability - John dory is willingness to learn from his partner's perspective and adapt his behavior accordingly could create a feeling of understanding and connection between you two which you LOVE!

- He loves you and will try his best to make sure you are comfortable in any situation!

Spruce/Bruce

- Bruce and you are already both experienced in handling different types of physical challenges so bruce doesn't see any issue with dating someone with a disability.

- Bruce is a supportive partner and is always looking out for the person with cerebral palsy's comfort and needs.

- Bruce KNOWS! Your physical abilities don't define your relationship, and instead focus on finding ways to make it work for both of you - He would always get your crutch(s) whenever you need to get up - He waits for you patiently cause he knows how difficult it is for you to move around

-Bruce is not afraid to adapt to changes in your physical capabilities at all! this sweetheart loves and cares for you!

- Bruce is constantly researching and learning to better understand your disability and see what can help and what he should do

- He always make it a priority to communicate openly and honestly about any challenges you may be facing and struggling with - Bruce takes full advantage of all the accessibility options available to them in order to have an enjoyable dating experience for both of you! - He loves when both of you go explore wheelchair accessible parks and outdoor spots, and make use of accessible bathrooms and lifts

- Bruce is an understanding and loving partner who is always there to provide support and assistance whenever you need it!

Clay

- He cleans your crutches and wheelchair and asks everyday which one you want to use - Clay has no problem with the physical challenges that come with your disability, and makes sure to always communicate your needs and boundaries so you both can continue to enjoy your time together. - He can't help but laugh if you try to do stupid tricks on your wheelchair to make him smile which always works - Uou both have to deal with prejudice and misconceptions about disability and Clay has to adjust to his new relationship and learn how to better support you! - Clay learns that a relationship with a person with a disability requires patience and understanding which he is very good at! and the rewards are worth it of course NEHEEHEBEH - He comes to see the world in a different way and appreciates the importance of disability advocacy - Clay makes an effort to be patient with you when you may have physical difficulties. - He doesn’t rush you or give you some pressure but he is there for you when needed!

- Clay is understanding and supportive of his partner's unique needs. - Clay knows you both have a fair share of challenges, but he’s willing to take it on alongside you! - Despite all the obstacles you two are a happy couple who find a way to make their relationship work.

Floyd

- OKAY YOU CANNOT DENY FLOYD WOULD BE PERFECT! - Floyd would be a wonderful partner for someone with disabilities 10000% - He is sensitive compassionate and a very understanding person... troll??? IDFK! and he would want to do everything in his power to make the person he loves ak You! feel comfortable and supported - He would try his best to help them with your disabilities and make your life easier. - Floyd is also clever and resilient which would be helpful for you - He would understand that it's important to respect your limitations and be patient with you while you! adjust to your disabilities clutching your crutch in your hand. - Floyd would be a loving and supportive partner for someone with disabilities. - Floyd wants you to know that you can count on him.

- Although Floyd is shy, he is also an empath... I fucking hate that word for some reason IDK WHY! - He is great at understanding your needs and wants even if its for some cuddles!

- Floyd is a really caring person and he always tries his best to make you happy.

- Floyd ALWAYS! appreciates your unique qualities and loves you for who you are.

Branch

- Branch is sensitive to your physical limitations and makes sure that everything is adapted to accommodate and please you! - He is understanding when it comes to your struggle with certain activities, and is always there to lend a helping hand. - Branch is keen to learn more about Cerebral palsy and how they can best support you and your issues which is CUTE AF! - Branch is compassionate and patient with their partner, and their relationship is defined by mutual respect. - He would always get your crutch(s) whenever you need to get up - He waits for you patiently cause he knows how difficult it is for you to move around - Branch has learned to adapt toyour physical limitations and takes care to accommodate them in all aspects of your relationship! - He BUILDS! your crutches and Wheelchairs! plus he enjoys how you always kiss him and praise his work - He makes them bland so sometimes Poppy just pops! up (HEHEHEHE PUNS) to help make it look BETTER! in her words - He doesn’t rush you or give you some pressure but he is there for you when needed - Through both of your understanding and devotion to one another you both have created a deep bond.

reblogs + comments are appreciated ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡

©brights-place 2023 — do not repost on another platform, copy, translate or edit my works! if you fit my DNI list please don't interact!

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lawbin-archive · 4 months

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The chemistry between Law & Robin

Yes, I'm talking about Lawbin's chemistry today.

Before you reading it, I have nothing against other ships. Law and Robin have chemistry with others as well. And I'm not comparing lawbin with any of them.

If you comment something like "[other ship] better" "I hate them" "even [a character] has more chemistry than them" "this ship is boring" etc., these kind of unreasonable, without proofs and rude comments. it's just proving that you are an immature and narrow-minded person that can't read or accept other opinion. Please respect each other and our personal space. I do welcome any other opinion with polite and civilized attitude.

If you are wondering why I need to set up a warning every time, it's because there are tons of annoying people in the internet.

I know I talked about their chemistry on twitter already, but I want to rant more about it lol so let's dive in.

Before everything, let's define chemistry. The definition of chemistry is "a quality that exists when two people understand and are attracted to each other" - from Cambridge dictionary So first of all, do Law and Robin understand each other?

In my opinion, yes and the first evidence is Robin can tell Law told the navy about green bit just by his face. and Law can also understand the danger of CP0. You might say they were just being investigative, observable and knowledgable. But that's the qualities you need to understand each other. In any relationship, you need to be communicative, have the same knowledge and observing each other emotions to understand each other.

Well, that's just the surface of understanding. Other than that, Law and Robin also have the same understanding on how hard is to learn the history (including void century and will of D). It's important to both of them because that's what Robin and Law dream of. Personally, I would say it's really difficult to find a person who has the same dream as you, understand how hard it is to archive and can archive with you. Especially, with all the Ohara's scholars eliminated and Robin searching poneglyph by herself for so long, she almost gave up and finally there is someone who has the same dream as her and can accompany her. I would say this is a very strong foundation of understanding and connections.

You might say, but she's already searching poneglyph with straw hats. But none of them really cares the history. Of course, it's important that the straw hats are supporting her and having her back. But only Law can fully understand her dream and know how hard it is. That's the special bonding they have.

Now that we know they have the same understanding on ponelgyph, isn't the underground Wano scenes more meaningful? Robin was searching poneglyph all by herself and now Law can accompany with her. All what Law did before defeating Doflamingo is to get revenge for Corazon, and now he finally found something he wants to do and he is interested with. And he's not achieving the goal by himself*.

*Note: Yes the straw hats helped him to defeat Doflamingo, but no one - I don't think even Robin knows the real reason. He has been taking all the responsibility and stress by himself. You can tell when he said he want to die with Luffy. That's how much burden he had. He didn't even want to involve the Heart pirates to begin with. To me, he's truly free and looking for what he's really interested after defeating Doflamingo.

side notes: Robin discovered ruins of Shandora by herself on the left panel, Robin and Law discovered ruins of underground Wano on the right panel. They both discovered in a square shaped tunnel, coincidence? On top of that, they have similar background and experience*. Why is this important? Because it makes them so easy to understand each other. They don't need to put themselves in each other's shoes to know how the person's feel. They have been through what each other been through. They already felt what each other felt. They can build connection instantly just by sharing their background. *I will make another post to talk about their similarities - it's kinda crazy to me how similar they are lol, but if you're interested what similarities they have, please read this.

Well Oda hasn't shown they know about each other experience yet, but Law already knew Robin can read poneglyph, with Law's personality and always updated with news, isn't hard for him to figure it out that she's the sole survivor of Ohara which is the same for him. Another thing is Law trusts Robin enough to tell her his real name. You might think is not a big deal, but Law is a distrusting person and it's a family secret, I don't think he would tell a potential future enemy his full name with so little of trust. [he was kinda threatened when he told Baby 5 & Buffalo, he only told Sengoku and Doflamingo he is a D*] Robin is the only member of straw hats that know his full name. *You might asked but Sengoku might be an enemy too, first he's retired, second he's the father figure for Corazon, that alone can let Law trust him enough to tell him the D and third he thinks he might know something about it. And for Doflamingo, I think he just wants to provoke him.

So they did build trust and bonding before he told her real name. It might be she saved him, it might be the alliance, it might also be they talked about their experience. Just one of my assumptions. Robin also told him she's also interested in the same thing. And here you go - they build an understanding and connection with their goals and dream.

Besides, they both have a similar dark humor. It's important to understand each other joke, right?

So they know each other have similar goals, similar background and similar personality. Isn't it really easy for them to understand each other and build bonding?

So, are they attracted with each other?

I would say maybe. Let's define what's attracted means. "If someone is attracted to someone else, he or she likes the other person or is interested in that person." - Cambridge dictionary Let's look at Law → Robin first, because I think that's a more obvious one. We talked about Law told Robin his real name which is something that drawn them closer. So that's one of the evidence. Another scene is when Law finds Robin in flower capital. Yes I'm brining it up again, because their conversation is so interesting.

Law said "You weren't with the others...so obviously I was suspicious." I found Law very cute here, because when did he get suspicious before? LOL From my memories, you can correct me if I'm wrong, Law never get suspicious to any straw hats for the entire alliance, and now he's getting "suspicious"? On top of that, straw hats were separated, Nami was having fun with Otama, Jimbei was having dinner by himself. There are tons of people in flower capital, he only notice Robin is missing and he's only "suspicious" about Robin.* He also searched the whole flower capital and the palace just to find her. I think that's a proof that he cares about her and her whereabouts. *You might say he followed her because of the poneglyph, I already explain it before so I'm not gonna repeat myself again. Please just refer to this post.

Also, when Robin crawled up on the tunnel. Law using his ability to switch places between him and something else. In the anime, it was Robin's sweat, but in the manga it's Robin's hair accessories. (the pop effect on Robin's head) Of course, it's really polite of him to not crawl behind Robin haha But how long did he look at Robin until she reached to the window and searching for something that he can switched place with.(I don't think he can shambles randomly at this point lol) That's also one of the reasons I think he's attracted to her - always paid attention to her and create proximity with her.

Let's talk about Robin → Law, I think Robin also shown she's interested to Law. As I mentioned above, she already told him she's also interested the meaning of D. I think talking about what you're interested is also a sign of you're interested to the person and willing to engage with them with the same hobby. Besides, Robin teased Law twice. The first one is in Dressrosa when she said "You have a sly look on your face." And the second time is the scene above when she said "I'm surprised you sniffed us out."* *Note that the original japanese text didn't indicate the subject in this sentence, but from their conversation, it's implied that Law only suspicious about Robin. I don't think he had interacted with Sukiyaki before lol

If I remember correctly, Robin rarely teasing other people except when she's interested. The only time I remember she teased someone is when she asked Luffy to let her join the crew which when she's interested in Luffy (non-romantically).* *again, I might be wrong, maybe there are other times. Other than that, I found it really cute when she said "No fair...". Robin rarely shown her childish (in a cute way), jealousy side of her. [I think when she said "No fair" means Law used his ability, kind of like jealous of his ability or he's cheating because she crawled all the way up] And it's interesting that she shown this playful side of her in front of him twice in this scene.

On top of that, Robin risked her body to save Law during Dressrosa. She was worrying about Law too. I think if it's someone you don't care, you won't worry or save them. If I really need to pull out another example, she didn't bother to help Bartolomeo when he was falling. But on the other side, she did care about Rebecca and saved her as well. (to provide different views) Also, Robin did worry about Law when she's under green bit and she was worrying about he's losing his arm.

I think it's pretty rare for Robin to worry about other guys outside of straw hats. And that might be a proof that she cared about Law and might attracted to him.

One piece rarely shown mutual romantic relationship, so it's surprised me that it's kinda hinting they are interested to each other especially the scenes in Wano. Although it's not obvious and not everyone sees it in that way, I think their relationship is cute regardless.

I actually found this post is really hard to write especially when you need to explain something that's a feeling and not something logical.

At the end, I think having chemistry or are they attracted to each other are really subjective to every one. Even though I pulled out definition, I think everyone has its own definition on chemistry. In my opinion, I think chemistry can appear in friendship, family or romantically. So if you only see their chemistry as platonic friends or comrade, I think that's totally reasonable. I'm not writing this to let everyone agrees with me. I just want to provide my perspective of their interactions. And personally, I like connections in emotionally & mentally more than physical intimacy, hence, why I like them.

It's really long post again, thank you for reading it. Again, I appreciate any opinion if you comment politely! :)

#one piece #lawbin #trafalgar law #nico robin #law #robin

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melatonin-melanin · 6 months

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menhera as a movement and how it can connect to race

most members of the menhera subculture tend to have one goal in mind, and it's to be able to improve their mental health one way or another. for those unaware, menhera is a mental health movement originating in japan, where the term was originally defined as "someone who seeks mental well being." you can learn more about it here.

a large aspect of the menhera subculture is creating art in order to vent your struggles. this art is expressed most commonly through mediums such as fashion, painting, and music. any topics are acceptable to create vent art from, and often there will be motifs related to the author's trauma. however, over time, menhera has been watered down to containing mainly medical motifs in creations, as opposed to the original intention of being an outlet for a vast majority of issues that people may struggle with. of course, this doesn't mean that people no longer use it to vent; there are still many active members of the community, at least overseas.

you might be thinking, "that's nice to learn about, but what does this have to do with race? isn't this about mental health?"

well, your race can directly impact your mental health in multiple ways. when it comes to race, it's important to keep in mind that it's not just the color of your skin. race, as it is defined in society, is also your hair texture, facial structure, culture, and traditions. race is ultimately a social category, as it is fluctuating throughout history and is solely determined by people in power. think about it: for those growing up in the U.S., did you ever have to fill out forms for mandated tests? do you recall that, as time went on, more and more racial categories were added as options to check off when asked for your race?

with all of these factors taken into account, it's no wonder that race can affect mental health. whether it's from racial discrimination in multiple communities and institutions, cultural-specific struggles, or trying to find one's own place inside and outside of race-based communities, any and all of these issues can be mentally draining and have someone questioning their self-worth. added to all of this, it can be more difficult for someone to receive help for these troubles when they're not surrounded with people who understand. not every person of color is going to understand what a person with a mental illness goes through, and not every person with a mental illness is going to understand what a person of color goes through, either. depending on the people around them, a person of color struggling with mental illness may feel much more hesitant about reaching out to others because of this.

menhera as a movement was created in order for people to express all kinds of feelings without needing any particular label for what they're struggling with. it lets you wear your heart on your sleeve, and embrace aspects of yourself that you have trouble accepting. you can be beautiful, despite everything. you can be beautiful despite having traits that you've felt so insecure about for the longest time, whether it be skin color, hair type, face shape, cultural significances; none of that makes you any lesser, regardless of what you may feel or what others may have told you. my own race has tied into many of my experiences with my self-image, and my struggle with that view is part of why i identify with the menhera subculture. for anyone reading this who feels similarly, this is sort of my way of saying that you aren't alone!

i feel that, although the medical association is most likely here to stay, the majority of the menhera community can also work beyond only acknowledging certain facets of mental illness. this isn't only referring to the acknowledgment of racial issues, but other intersecting traits that affect people's experiences with mental illness. gender, class, physical disability, orientation; all of these undoubtedly influence each individual's views on mental health, and the community should strive to be more open towards all of these different experiences no matter how messy or uncomfortable they get. after all, the purpose of menhera is to tell ourselves that we're pretty, cute, handsome, gorgeous, and all of those kinds of adjectives despite how our troubles make us feel!

#rise and shine #menhera #yamikawaii #yumekawaii #メンヘラ #mental health

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raainberry · 7 months

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In the Dark

« As an adjective, the dark can describe things that are gloomy, difficult to interpret or heavy. »

Sana x gn!reader

Angst (but like in a good way i promise)

synopsis - stardom is ruthless. you’re her shelter.

wordcount - 1.2K

T/W - Alcohol (mentions), Smoking (not the tux)

A/N - i stumbled on a draft and stayed up too late again🧍‍♀️also you can define the type of relationship as you want i didn’t put any label bc its not important in this one

The entertainment industry holds thick curtains over its dark side. A fact that too many people overlook for their own pleasure. Or is it difficult to even see the curtains through all the bright and shiny glory it’s selling?

“I want to be a singer.”

“I want to be an actor.”

Innocent words spoken by children all over the world, no matter the generation. Innocent words and dreams eventually tarnished by white collars and signatures. By the time the children even realised what all those camera flashes meant, the curtains had already closed.

One of your closest relationships was one of those kids. She’d managed to actually make it. And now you’re the one witnessing the darkness it pulled them into, wondering how people could be so oblivious.

When you met Sana, her dream was still bright. She shined more and better than a lot of those cameras, most of them not even being able to keep up with her and only rendering a pale copy.

The last time you met Sana, those cameras and their flashes were the only thing keeping her company in the darkness behind the curtains.

The problem was: she wanted to be alone.

The light harassed her while her eyes begged for them to forget her and leave her in the dark.

They never did.

And if it weren’t for you, she would have closed her eyes and quit a long time ago.

Whenever it became blinding, she’d reach out to you. A text or a call, it didn’t matter. You were always there for her.

The last time she reached out, you’d asked her to take better care of herself. She was doing somewhat good lately. Good enough to fool the public she loved to please despite the downsides she faced.

But not you.

She couldn’t fool you, but she wanted to show you she was working hard for her happiness. That she was taking care of herself, like you’d asked her to.

So one night, she brought you along for the ride. “A night in my life.”, as she called it. It made you laugh, happy and excited to spend some time with her.

If only you knew what awaited you.

It was an eventful night. A confusing night. One you weren’t sure you’d remember properly, despite not having touched a drop of alcohol.

Your head was nearly spinning when you followed Sana out of the exit doors of the place she’d brought you to. A crowded place, kind of elitist, that allowed you to see a part of her you had yet to discover.

You knew she liked to dance, party, and have fun, but you didn’t expect her to be this… Loose?

Carefree wasn’t the word. Careless was more appropriate. That you understood when she pulled a cigarette out of nowhere.

Now, you weren’t a fan of those and your action might have been biased, but surely this couldn’t be good at all in her hands. A lot of things, all going from image to health went through your mind as you grabbed it from her hand.

Her laugh rung in the empty street. It was far too early in the morning, and far too late in the night. The air around you was crisp, somehow still and chilly as autumn started to make itself known. You noticed a familiar, faint string of steam blowing out of your nose, and it surprised you.

Just not as much as the words that followed her melodious laugh.

“So this is your limit.”

Your features remained still in front of her unpredictability. In front of your own curiosity.

“What?”

“You’ve put up with a lot tonight.” She said in a way that made you believe you’d hear her applauding you any second.

She only sat down though, her hand leaning against the wall for support and stability as she lowered herself to the ground.

“Honestly, I thought you’d call it quits when I pulled you on top of the bar or when I made out with that guy.” She chuckled. “I can’t believe a cigarette is where you draw the line.”

You stared at her, wondering how she’d even gotten her hands on these things in the first place. As far as you knew, no one in her circle smoked. But again, she was a grown adult. She could buy them if she wanted to, no one would bat an eye.

No one but you.

“It’s for your own good.” You simply answered before crushing it in your fist and throwing it in a bush nearby.

“Aw, you care about me.” She looked up to meet your eyes, and while your gaze might seem empty to most, Sana had learned to look further into them in order to truly see. “Is that why you’re disappointed?”

Her words startled you. Seemed like she had yet to be able to decipher what she was seeing. You could understand how but still, why would she think that?

“I’m not disappointed. I’m upset.” You corrected.

“You too? What’s your reason?” Her words subtly melted together, giving away her state of mind and betraying her otherwise perfect posture.

“It’s upsetting seeing you like this, Sana.” You cleared up.

“Like what?” She giggled. “Oh. You mean all pathetic and sad. Right, I almost forgot.”

A chuckle pushed itself past her lips, bitterness clear in the air as if she blamed you for reminding her.

”So you’re trying to forget…” You mumbled nodding to yourself as you assessed the situation for the first time.

This was much deeper than you thought.

It scared you, yet you weren’t even affected. You couldn’t even imagine what she was going through.

What kind of life was she living? What was she keeping to herself? Keeping from you? From the world?

What kind of feeling could be so bad it made her want to forget about every other one.

Forget about the world that kid dreamed of, and worked so hard for.

Your mind couldn’t begin to fathom the idea. It was hard enough witnessing it being a reality.

For a dear and loved one of yours at that.

“So this is your way of forgetting? Drinking and acting reckless?” You asked, and she nodded, quickly confirming your thoughts.

She was shameless. It almost scared her how quick she admitted to you what she hid from so many of her peers. From her closest friends. From her own parents. But she couldn’t help how easy it was. She knew nothing would go past your ears. Past your eyes.

Everything you witnessed of what she showcased, it stayed with you. Between the two of you.

“You’re not judging me, are you?” She asked, her voice a little softer. More fragile.

Yet you couldn’t help but chuckle as you went to sit next to her. “Have I ever?”

“Just making sure...”

A silence settled between you two. As if nothing was happening.

“You know, I’ve never asked you to forget.” You spoke up after a moment or two, earning her eyes on you. “Maybe that’s what you understood when I told you to take care of yourself, but… It’s not really the takeaway I was aiming for.”

“What was it then?”

“You won’t heal if you try to just drown out the wound. Especially with alcohol.”

A small silence settled again as your words sunk in, and as they did so, Sana felt tears threatening her.

“Then what should I do?” Her voice cracked, lips faltering. Her head fell to your shoulder as she stared right ahead of her with broken hope.

”I don’t know.” Your own words made you tear up.

Sadness and frustration were to blame.

The two of you shared those feelings that night, although for different reasons.

You hated how you couldn’t help her. She hated how she couldn’t be helped.

It would be something she’d have to figure out on her own.

But you’d be there the whole time.

#twice x reader #sana x reader #sana imagines #twice imagines #twice sana #minatozaki sana

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sassykinzonline · 2 months

Text

naruto and i spent yesterday watching drag race, i would like to do a roast to celebrate kakashi's hokage inauguration:

kakashi is the only hokage in history to fumble the bag for both his homosexual AND heterosexual love interests; however, he continues a long line of hokages to completely fail their students--or if youre tsunade, fail at picking a student.

many people have been wondering why kakashi wears his mask. it's really simple: hes hiding the smell of might guy's "youth" on his breath from iruka.

kakashi was born an old soul, as you can tell by his grey hair. and just like every old man in our village, hes a publicly indecent sex pest. hes been carrying around that porn novel of his for as long as ive known him. i guess he was inspired by naruto's motto: "never give up"....trying to cure your erectile dysfunction.

as many of you know, kakashi's notorious for 2 things: his sharingan and his dogs. there's a saying that goes "you can't teach an old dog new tricks", and it must be true given kakashi uses the same 3 jutsus over and over. watching him fight is more painfully repetitive than itachi's tsukuyomi.

speaking of itachi, kakashi's name means "scare crow". fitting, given not too long after joining kakashi's anbu team did itachi get fed up and decide to kill our entire family.

the time after that was extremely difficult for me, and im grateful kakashi took me under his wing because we have a lot of things in common. i once asked him what he would do if i killed everyone he loves, and he told me they were all already dead. so i guess instead of "hatake, scare crow", we should be calling him "hatake scares the hoes".

as a teacher, i learned so much from him. i'd like to think if he wrote a book about his teachings, it would be called "how to lose friends and influence people to defect from the village." some of the things hes taught me include chidori--which should be used to stab directly through the heart of those you love and who love you, permanently disfiguring the person you love so you know its real, and how to let survivor's guilt cripple you and define your whole life.

but i also learned from his mistakes. my inspirational loud dumb gay bestie is still alive (not for lack of trying on both our parts), and we successfully communicated our feelings. plus, the girl that is bafflingly in love with me despite me being obviously gay is still alive (again, not for lack of trying).

so thank you, kakashi, for all that you've done for me. you are the best man for the job--considering everyone else is dead, cut in half, in jail, or danzo shimura. you will do your village proud.

i wish you a long life of continuing to inspire and annoy generations of uchiha.

#kakashi #kakashi hatake #hatake kakashi #rokudaime #sasuke rp #naruto shitposting #kakaobi #kakagai #kakairu #kakarin #team minato #i put the rest under the cut so the more sensitive jokes can be avoided #youre welcome

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badaziraphaletakes · 2 months

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Hello! This isn't exactly Good Omens related, but I've seen this blog talk about "perfect trauma victims" vs actual trauma victims, so i figured one of the lovely mods might know!

One of my WIPs right now is an essay on the harmful effects of "perfect trauma victims" on actual trauma survivors. I know that Harry Potter is a good example of the "perfect trauma victim" stereotype, but was wondering if you could think of any others? (I was thinking Cinderella, but I'm not sure). As for good portrayls of trauma survivors, I am planning on citing Aziraphale, but would Angel Dust from Hazbin Hotel be valid, and are there any others?

Also, as another source: how would you define a perfect trauma victim versus a trauma survivor?

Thank you! Y'all are seriously doing Gods' work with this blog.

Cinderella is an interesting one because it's such an old story and has been retold in so many different ways that there's probably a version of Cinderella to fit any occasion. If we're talking about the Disney movie, then yes I would definitely cite her as a perfect trauma victim stereotype.

(I haven't watched Hazbin Hotel yet, so I can't speak on that. I'm starting to feel like this is a fail on my part.)

Another good portrayal of a trauma survivor might be Sarah Connor in Terminator 2: Judgment Day. In the first movie she was a pretty, helpless waitress who got yanked out of her comfortable existence and forced to endure horrifying things. In the second movie, she's hardened and unsympathetic. Her son tries to hug her, and she ignores his affection in favor of patting him all over, looking for injuries. Her character arc culminates in an attempt to k*ll an innocent researcher in front of his family in an attempt to change the future. The overall theme of the movie is that humanity will save humanity, and recognizing the value of human life is the ultimate goal for a happy future.

(I did not notice the Good Omens parallels until I typed that out just now. Neat.)

A perfect trauma victim is a societal myth that hurts real trauma survivors. It's a stereotype portrayed as a person that reduces survivors to a one-dimensional trope. It implies that if a trauma survivor is unlikable or makes bad choices, then somehow they deserve what happened to them or somehow brought it on themselves. Or that they're not a "real" victim; they must be lying or faking it if they don't act just right. In criminal trials, juries are tempted to find for the defense when the accuser turns out to have committed unrelated crimes or had a nontraditional sex life.

A trauma survivor is more difficult to write because they're more complex. They behave as real people would and are a complex blend of internal and external influences. They make choices that fans might not understand or approve of, but in terms of their own survival it makes sense. Like going along with a powerful, dangerous superior instead of telling him where to stick it, so that one and one's companion can live to fight another day. You know, hypothetically. :)

Hope this helps! <3

#badaziraphaletakes #cw: victim blaming #terminator 2 judgment day

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liriostigre · 3 months

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Hiiii ty for such a great uquiz!! Would it be possible to see the description of all the books you could get matched to? I’m curious what the vibes are for the rest!!

hi 🌷 here you go:

White Teeth by Zadie Smith: Excessive, maximalist and very ambitious multigenerational and multicultural epic novel that starts with the unlikely friendship between Archie Jones and Samad Iqbal. It explores themes of race, identity and the intersections of culture, heritage, and modernity. Clever and hilarious dialogue, very creative when it comes to language and style, unique and bold when it comes to narrative. Perhaps a flawed novel due to its ambition, but excellent nonetheless.

Despair by Vladimir Nabokov: Excellent writing; very ambitious and stylish. It is somewhat a twisted novel but you will find a lot of humor despite. The narrator speaks directly to the reader as he writes what he regards as his perfect crime. This novel is one of Nabokov's earliest works in which one can easily identify themes and literary devices that the author explored later in his most known works.

The Savage Detectives by Roberto Bolaño: Brilliant and stunning novel about poets and poetry! Very dense and challenging; it requires patience from the reader. This novel is so infinitely dear to me that i can't even explain its brilliance, but i have to give you at least an idea of the plot so: The story is arranged in three parts and told from multiple points of view. It starts in Mexico City, in the 70s, and continues across decades and continents. It follows the adventures and misadventures of Arturo Belano and Ulises Lima—poets, drug dealers, wanderes, criminals. Now, about the themes, the writing, the style, the narration? Just absolutely perfect even at its most tedious, difficult and anticlimactic parts.

The Hearing Trumpet by Leonora Carrington: Unconventional, absurd, imaginative and exuberantly surreal apocalyptic fairytale quest. It follows 92 year old Marian who is sent off to a peculiar old-age home. If you aren't familiar with Leanora Carrington's art you should look at some of her paintings because this wonderful novel feels just like her surrealist paintings!

Mrs. Caliban by Rachel Ingalls: This novella tells the story of a love affair between a depressed suburban housewife and an amphibian creature who escaped a scientific research center. It might sound like a quirky fiction story but it actually deals with the most mundane and banal aspects of life and human relationships. Brilliantly written; neat and precise prose, wonderful storytelling. The author knew what she was doing and not a single word she wrote was wasted.

The Borrowers by Mary Norton: Delicately written little adventure about tiny people who live in the secret places of houses. I am enamored (obsessed!!) with miniatures—dollhouses, dioramas, fairies—so imagine how dear this book is to me.

Sharp Objects by Gillian Flynn: The murders of two girls bring reporter Camille Preaker back to her hometown. As she works to uncover the truth about those crimes, Camille finds herself forced to unravel the psychological puzzle of her own past. Very entertaining read. It has best seller written all over it (which might not be the biggest compliment lol but i mean for this genre so it is a compliment).

Rage by Sergio Bizzio: Claustrophobic, anxiety inducing, fast-paced psychological thriller that made me think of Bong Joon-ho's Parasite the whole 4 hours it took me to read it. I read it in it's original language, Spanish, and i particularly loved the dialogue; its idiosyncrasies and authenticity (tqm Argentina!)

High Fidelity by Nick Hornby: Rob, an obsessive music fan, reminisces his top five worst break ups to understand his most recent heartbreak. He is a very arrogant and cynical guy who defines his entire life through records, and because he is constantly interacting with music that almost exclusively deals with love—and a very idealistic version of it—he finds himself unsatisfied with the way his life has turned out.

#so sorry it took me so long to reply!!#idk if you meant of ALL the quizzes... 👀 anyone these are 2023's only 🫣#💌#anyway* lol not anyone

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narcpocalypse · 3 months

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Speaking of that post I hope it's ok for me to send this ask in!

I have some OCs myself that also have NPD(+other PDs as well, like ASPD AND BPD for example) and I was wondering how to realistically portray NPD without unintentionally stigmatizing/demonizing it?

*also some are also POC as well and are my Elder Scrolls OCs also, if this helps.*

Feel free to delete this ask, if you don't feel like answering!

AGHHH MY FIRST ASK!!!!!!!!/pos

Fair warning, this is going to be a LONGGGG ass post and it will mention ableism towards NPDers. I want to make sure I cover as much as possible. If you have NPD and want to add anything, pls do so in a reblog or the comments! I am also super delirious so if what I say makes no sense I'm so sorry 😭

I think a full, completely in depth understanding is the key to not writing something stigmatizing/demonizing. It sounds obvious, but in the case of NPD, there's so much misinformation so I am hoping this post can guide you in the writing process. You never know what little thing can cause accidental mischaracterization.

This is a super important topic for me because honestly, I'm trying to figure out the same as someone with NPD myself, even with all the info available. I feel like there's so much grey area because so much is still unknown about the disorder (fuck the psych system/narc abuse believers). A lot of us have to go from our personal experiences and figure things out on our own, which brings me to my first topic:

Self Diagnosis And The Criteria!!!!!!!!

A LOT of us are self diagnosed, including myself. Whether you're officially diagnosed or not, most of us can agree the DSM5 is booty ass. I bring up self diagnosis specifically because due to the DSM5 being shitty, it's suuuper difficult to get diagnosed or even want a diagnosis. I personally don't want one.

If that's a theme you want to bring up in your work, I would definitely follow blogs here that break down the diagnostic criteria and re-define it in a realistic way. Having this is super important because the DSM5 is MADDD confusing even if it wasn't ableist.

Your characters might resonate with that confusion and even anger. Rage is such a prominent emotion with us narcissists, so its highly encouraged you tap into that. The stigma is so impactful to most of us and personally keeps me hidden.

If you went off the official criteria, you could innocently and accidentally write an ableist trope based off the DSM5. For example, the DSM5 has a very vague and "I do this just because I can blah blah blah and there's a name for it" narrative of narcissists. There's no nuance. They state accurate symptoms but don't accurately explain why we have them. Without context, it makes our intentions ultimately one size fits awful.

Here are some resources that have been super helpful to me!

Some extra specific things I keep in mind when writing my narcissistic characters:

-“Bad behavior” is such an important phrase to emphasize when writing narcissists negative symptoms and being mindful on how you approach the impact. Make sure that phrase is clear, even if they will not redeem themselves and are a piece of garbage. They did xyz because of bad behavior due to symptoms, they hurt john doe because of bad behavior due to symptoms. They make the conscious choice not to change their bad behavior because abc or they make the conscious choice to do better because blah blah blah.

-Depending on what communication style you want two or more characters to have, make sure the outcomes are accurate based off of symptoms. My examples don't explain narcissists as a whole, but they are based off of my symptoms:

Lack of Communication: Increase in superiority symptoms, increase in rage, increase in invalidation and inferiority feelings. Other parties, specifically egotypicals may have a misconception of the narcissist and believe their symptoms are how they really are and can't be redeemed due to stigma. In the situation involving a narcissist however, in my experience when this happens I'm always so confused. Nothing makes sense and nobody is explaining anything to me. I need outside perspective as to why my actions are wrong and lack of communication will sink me deeper into my delusions. Communication is so important coming from the outside perspective to snap me out of my spiral. Lack of communication on my end will cause me to bottle up my feelings, convinced I’m better alone. Not explaining my intentions (or lack there of, to be completely blunt and vulnerable.) to someone I hurt can cause them so much more pain too. I don't want to hurt anyone, and even if I don't FEEL sorry, I can acknowledge I don't want the people I care for to be hurt by my bad actions.

Proper Communication: Honestly in my case, usually the damage I caused isn’t forgiven however rebuilding that trust becomes so much easier accepting that and opening up to the person/people I hurt. The narcissist usually knows they can prevent xyz going forward, and the other party is prepared on how to handle the situation in case it happens again. In my experience, communication is super beneficial in terms of receiving supply too. ESPECIALLY when the other person involved is also a narcissist, they know that pain of not receiving praise/admiration and we can understand each other moving forward.

Other narcissists I encourage you give your experience w this too bc I have seen very diff ones!

-If you want to implement characters who are ableist towards the narcissist, some things I would do are:

Show the narcissists internal monologue after the trauma and put your main focus on their emotions, the ableist person’s actions second. The weight of their words will be shown more in the trauma response, less in the moment (although super important). Focus the context on the narc crash, anxiousness, surprise, grandiosity overcompensation, etc.

Have other characters defend the narcissist, preferably being other narcissists because we are the ones who understand each other the most and back each other up no matter what

Show the importance of proper education and lack of education

Ask yourself how this is relevant to the plot and your character/characters

-Ask yourself, why does/doesn't my character want to be redeemed? Is it a symptom or is it genuine? Do they want to do better but don't recognize it? Why don't they recognize it? What symptoms are holding them back from xyz (social connections, self care etc.).?

Examples of answers to these questions:

My character doesn't want to be redeemed because they are convinced they are justified in their actions. They genuinely believe they did the right thing and need time to get out of that mindset. What's stopping them from getting out of that mindset is the delusion they are stuck in. Working on their trauma triggers can help lessen the blow and onset of psychosis. If they recognize they are wrong, my character is the type of person to crash and have suicidal urges. There is a slow build up before the crash that spirals into madness. What may help is getting supply from their friends/partners reassuring them that recognizing their bad actions are a first step followed by praise for things outside of the situation to bring them back to a solid baseline or narc high.

My character has a hard time socializing because when having an episode of grandiosity, they feel like they are better than everyone and no one is at their level. In episodes of insecurity, they feel like they don't deserve friends because they feel worthless. This is followed by perfectionism and seeking unwanted friendships, only to self-destruct and hurt those around them. Their ego impacts everything they do.

-SHAMEEEE is one of the most important emotions (in my experience) to write about so pls make that an important part of how your character views themselves!

-I know I have been only focusing on negative aspects, but also do highlight the positive aspects. For me, NPD has motivated me to work on myself. It isn’t the healthiest way, but given my circumstance, it is the healthiest I can do right now. Even my most wild and delusional thoughts can lead to great opportunities for self improvement. Thinking I’ll become famous? Gave myself tools to work on my executive dysfunction and be consistent with a project I love. Narc highs are also absolutely incredible. Finding folks who understand me and receiving praise has kept me going. I genuinely feel listened to. Narcissists are some of the nicest people you will ever meet because they know what it feels like to hate themselves. No matter how little empathy some of us have, that doesn’t mean we can’t acknowledge one another (even if my symptoms make me feel so singular in my experiences/contradict the point of acknowledging others).

More info to represent different kinds of NPDers:

Some common comorbidities are:

Autism Spectrum

Bipolar Disorder

Schizophrenia Spectrum

DID/OSDD

All Cluster B Disorders

Eating Disorders and Addictions

So many of us are autistic. SO MANY. This small survey statistic doesn’t scratch the surface but it’s important to look at!

As an autistic person myself, I feel like a lot of the trauma I faced growing up highly contributed to the development of NPD. I was othered, shunned, invalidated and shamed for just existing. Still am. That made me overcompensate with erratic attempts to be wanted and loved and just acknowledged in any way possible. I want to be SEEN.

If anyone wants an in depth post sharing my experiences with bipolar disorder and NPD I will absolutely do so if asked too!

How NPD affects my gender itself, dysphoria and sexuality:

In my experience as a fat trans man, a lot of my dysphoria is rooted in narcissism, internalized fatphobia and internalized toxic masculinity. I want to be the ideal boyfriend that is praised for existing. My male privilege definitely contributes to that want and I can acknowledge and dislike that part of myself. I expect this certain level of respect for being a man without realizing it sometimes and make sure to hold myself accountable when doing so. My dysphoria makes me feel inferior to other men because I don't "pass" and I feel the need to compete against them. The insecurity is consuming me and I do my best to be aware if I cross any lines.

What I have noticed about gender and sexuality in NPDers is that a lot yall are aroace and nonbinary! Like based off of my survey alone and people I know!

I asked one of my mutuals if it wanted to share his experiences of being a POC with NPD and it agreed!! He wanted to stay anonymous (aka super duper awesomely cool and mysterious) so I’ll just be posting the ss of what he said!

I do not have much to say on the response from my mutual because I feel like what it said speaks for itself and because we've spoken in private about the topic already! If you want to write an Asian character with NPD, this is really useful information!!!! One day I will make a post elaborating on being a POC with NPD myself. But, for now, this will help you understand an experience from an Asian perspective.

I hope this post wasn't all over the place and makes sense, if you have any more questions please ask away!

#npd awareness #writing tips #writing characters with npd #writing npd #npd solidarity #ask giles #narcposting #narcissistic personality disorder #npd #actually narcissistic #actually npd #actually cluster b #npd safe #cluster b #cluster b safe #narc

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