#I am so tired but I have learned so many labels | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

fanfic-wonderland · 2 years

Text

He'll Kill Us Both {Sirius Black}

Pairing: Sirius Black x Gryffindor!Female Reader

Summary: Being James Potter's twin sister is not easy when you're secretly dating his best friend...

Warnings: Mild Language, Smut

______________________________________________________________

The room is pitch black and quiet but (Y/N) has not lost track of the clock hanging on the wall opposite her bed. She tries to wait for it to strike midnight as calmly as possible but a pump of adrenaline is already making its way through her veins and she begins to feel impatient. It is impossible to stay still but the last thing she wants to do is make the wrong move and wake up her dormmates; she certainly does not need an interrogation right now. So far, she's been successful the numerous times she has snuck out of the room without drawing attention, except maybe for that one time when she was almost busted by Filch, but even then she handled it pretty well.

When it is finally time to go, (Y/N) gets out of bed quietly, slipping her shoes on and tiptoeing her way to the mirror. She can barely see her reflection but she tries to work with what she has, and she figures that brushing her hair and putting on a bit of perfume will do the trick. It's nothing too big, she's not going out to a fancy restaurant, but she wants to at least be presentable for whatever outcome she'll get as soon as she steps out the door.

She throws a coat across her shoulders and decides that she's ready to get going. The faster she leaves, the lesser chances she'll have of getting caught by-

"Where are you going?"

Bloody hell.

(Y/N) freezes on her spot. Lily is now sitting up on her bed, holding her weight on her left arm and squinting her sleepy eyes at the doorway. The door remains half open and (Y/N) considers leaving while pretending that she hadn't heard her but, knowing Lily, she wouldn't be surprised if the girl decides to follow her. She turns to the redhead with an apologetic smile. "Sorry, did I wake you?"

"Yeah," Lily replies. "What are you doing up so late?"

(Y/N) clears her throat. "I was just about to get something to eat. I can't sleep with an empty stomach."

Lily quirks a brow. "Seriously?"

"Yup."

Lily sighs in defeat while she settles back into her sleeping position. "You know what? I don't know if I believe you but I'm honestly too tired to care right now."

(Y/N) chuckles. "That's okay, just go back to sleep."

When she doesn't hear an answer, she assumes that Lily has fallen back into a deep slumber. (Y/N) lets out a breath unaware that she was holding it, then proceeds to exit the room while trying not to make any more sounds.

She knows the way by heart. She's done this so many times already that she does not need to look twice at which direction she's headed. She loves the quietness of the castle at this hour, and how comfortable she has gotten with the darkness of the halls. She's lucky that most portraits are sleeping and, when they're not, she sneaks past them as easily as spotting Hagrid in a crowd. It wasn't always like that but she's gotten to know them better with time. She learned from the best, after all.

When she arrives at the broom cupboard, It's empty aside from the brooms, mops, and other cleaning supplies. She rolls her eyes. Of course, he's not here yet.

"Am I too late?"

Sirius arrives almost twenty minutes later and finds (Y/N) leaning against the table pressed to the stone wall, reading the label from a gallon that she had found lying around. She looks up quickly and smirks. "Only a little bit."

"Sorry," Sirius locks the door behind him, and (Y/N) puts the item aside as she takes a step forward. "Remus was up late tonight and I had to wait for him to finally put his bloody book down and fall asleep."

(Y/N) laughs. "That's quite alright. We still got time left."

He smiles cheekily at her words and does not waste a second more as he pulls her close, capturing her lips in his as if they were magnets. Both of them sigh almost at the same time, happy to be back in each other's arms after being apart the entirety of the day. Having to pretend that they aren't dating in front of their friends takes a toll on them, even more now when a year has passed.

A full year of stealing glances, passing notes, brushing fingers, and sneaking out of their dorms just so that they can finally spend time with each other. It is exhausting, to say the least, but as soon as they find the embrace and the warmth that they long for during the day they realize that it is all worth it. (Y/N) cups his face when they pull away, staring into his tired yet glowing eyes. She loves staring at him from up close; she can take in every single detail and read every emotion just by the way he looks back at her.

Sirius is still smiling and It's so contagious that she doesn't realize she's doing the same until her cheeks start hurting. "I've missed you." He tells her.

"Have you, really?" (Y/N) questions in a teasing manner. "Just how much?"

"Perhaps I could show you better than I could tell you, don't you think?" His lips go down to her jawline, landing on her neck with a trail of open-mouth kisses. It is easier for him to take in her familiar floral scent this way. How he missed the way it fills his nostrils.

(Y/N) closes her eyes and her entire body shivers at the sensation. He does not give her a chance to speak as he begins to mark her skin with his teeth, gentle but with enough roughness to make a moaning mess out of her. Her arms wrap around his neck and her hands cannot help but grab a fistful of his soft curls. He lets out a low groan that invites her to tug harder at his hair.

When their lips meet again it feels more desperate, like as soon as they touched each other they realized that their time is limited and they have to make the best of it. Sirius backs (Y/N) into the nearby table again, where most of the cleaning supplies are, but when he lifts her up he throws them all to the side with a swift move of his arm. Her legs wrap around his figure and he grabs her waist, softly biting her bottom lip in order to gain another reaction from her. When he hears a gasp escape her lips he smiles to himself, taking the opportunity to slip his tongue past them and coaxing it with her own. Subconsciously, their bodies are grinding against each other, and (Y/N) can already feel his hard-on rubbing against her which makes it even harder for her to contain herself. At this point, however, she does not really care.

Their clothes are scattered on the floor within a minute. It's almost a natural instinct of theirs to do so, even more when they have no time to waste. Only their underwear remains intact until Sirius can't help it anymore and moves one hand down to touch (Y/N) through the soft material of her panties. He can already feel how soaked she is and that just gets him more excited to feel her completely against him, to have her in every way possible.

(Y/N) moans again as his hand sneaks inside her underwear, slowly moving his fingers up and down her core while he stares at her face. Her eyes are closed and her head is thrown back, and he can easily come undone just by the view of her giving in to the pleasure. She gasps his name as his lips find the skin of her neck once more, licking and leaving love bites around because in the heat of the moment he forgets that they have to be cautious about this. She seems to forget as well because she does nothing to stop him.

Sirius finally removes her panties and takes off his boxers, pushing them aside without looking at where they land. His eyes are only focused on (Y/N) because she is the only thing that matters to him right now. The only thing he can do is indulge in her beauty and enjoy it before they both part ways.

He aligns himself with her center, staring into her eyes as if silently asking for permission to go forward. (Y/N)'s too much in a daze to make up words so she just leans in to kiss him as a response, and it doesn't take him much to figure it out. She feels his bare back as she pulls him closer -although it makes barely any difference, they're basically glued together at this point- as he finally enters her. Her vision gets cloudier with every thrust of his hips and stroke of his fingers, and Sirius loves the way she clings to him. His mouth hangs open when the feeling in the pit of his stomach becomes almost unbearably good but he tries not to close his eyes just so that he can see her reach her high.

Their moans blend together as their pace quickens, both of them close to finishing but still savoring the moment as if It'll last for an eternity. When the wave of pleasure finally hits them their breathing gets heavier as they try to come down from it. Both of them are sweaty and sticky but it is no bother after such an intense experience that left them both happy and satisfied. Sirius brushes away a few strains of hair away from (Y/N)'s forehead, taking another long look at her. She looks worn out but is still grinning from ear to ear while staring back at him, his expression almost an exact copy of hers.

Half an hour later, they're back to being fully clothed. The atmosphere changes drastically; where there was once lust and passion in the air there is now a sort of sadness surrounding them as they sit in a corner of the room with their backs against the wall. (Y/N) lays her head on Sirius' shoulder while playing with his fingers. They've been quiet for a while until she breaks the silence. "I wish we didn't have to do this."

Sirius looks down at her and smirks. "Why, was I really that bad?"

(Y/N) smacks his chest playfully while he laughs lightly. "You know I don't mean that," she says, followed by a sigh. "This whole 'sneaking around' thing... I don't want to keep doing it. It's all your fault."

"And how is this my fault?"

"Well, you just had to go and become best friends with my brother." (Y/N) rolls her eyes.

Sirius chuckles. "Well, I wasn't really planning on falling in love with you, either. And besides, you have to admit that James is pretty irresistible."

"Oh?" (Y/N) raises an eyebrow, snuggling closer to her boyfriend. "Is that why you like me, then, because I remind you of him?"

Sirius clicks his tongue and raises his arms in defense. "Guilty."

(Y/N) laughs at him, planting a kiss on his cheek before going back to her original position. Deep down, though, she cannot brush away the hurt when she thinks about how they feel like they can't be public because her overprotective brother would probably murder them both if he finds out.

***

The next morning, (Y/N) covers up the very noticeable hickeys with a spell that she learned from her friend Florence ("It comes in very handy when a boy cannot keep his fangs away. Trust me." she had said one day.). So far, it has been effective, and this time it is no exception as the bruises on her neck and collarbone fade away effortlessly, leaving her skin intact. She smiles to herself, proud of her work, and at the same time, Lily barges into the dorm. "Hey, you ready to go?" she says.

(Y/N) turns to her and grins. "Of course."

"Are you okay?" Lily asks while eyeing the girl with worry. "You look tired."

And she is, she really is. (Y/N) and Sirius spent almost the entire night inside the cupboard, talking and laughing and avoiding being the first one to stand up. Neither of them wanted to leave. "Oh, yeah, I guess I didn't sleep too well last night," (Y/N) checks herself in the mirror, again, and this time she focuses on the bags under her eyes. Weirdly enough, she hadn't noticed them before. "But don't worry about it, I'm fine."

Lily nods hesitatingly and then her gaze drops lower. "Something wrong with your neck?"

(Y/N) panics as she looks down, but her bruises are still gone, luckily. However, her fingers are subconsciously running through the now empty spots and she stops the movement once she realizes it. "Nothing's wrong, Lily. You're being quite the motherly figure today, aren't you?"

Lily stares at her for a few more seconds before chuckling. "I guess I am. Anyway, let's just leave, yeah?"

When the both of them make it downstairs, three out of four Marauders are already in the Common Room. Remus is sitting at a table writing something down and Peter is sitting in an armchair while laughing at something that James just said on the couch in front of the fireplace. None of them notice the girls arriving until Lily clears her throat. The three of them look in their direction at the same time. "Well, hello, ladies," Although he's technically acknowledging both, James smiles directly at Lily. "Had a good night's sleep?"

Both girls nod as they walk toward them. Lily sits down next to James, much to his delight, and (Y/N) takes a seat across from Remus. "I think (Y/N) didn't sleep too well, though." Peter teases, mostly trying to get James' attention.

(Y/N) rolls her eyes but remains quiet. Thankfully, James does too, as he thinks nothing of it. Remus, on the other hand, is studying her face discreetly but before he can say something about it, they hear footsteps coming from the stairs.

All of them turn around at the same time to find the last person remaining so that they can finally make their way to Hogsmeade. "Morning." Sirius' greeting is followed by a yawn. (Y/N)'s heart flutters at the sight of him but she tries to keep her expression neutral. He does not look at her because then It'll be much harder for him to keep his hands off.

"Finally," James groans as Sirius scoots between him and Lily. "What took you so long to get up?"

Sirius rubs his eyes with the back of his hand. "I didn't sleep well last night. If it wasn't because I could really use a Butterbeer right now I would've stayed in bed."

"Is that so?" Remus says, a certain hint of suspicion in his voice that no one but (Y/N) and Lily seem to notice. "So what were you doing last night that's gotten you so tired?"

Sirius's head snaps up and he turns to look at Remus but he accidentally makes eye contact with (Y/N) first before he can stop himself. She drops her gaze and tries to distract herself with the mesmerizing way the flames are swaying in the fireplace. "Come to think of it, I did wake up in the middle of the night and your bed was empty." James rubs his chin.

"I was taking a walk," Sirius answers a bit too quickly. "I couldn't sleep so I snuck out."

(Y/N) suddenly feels two pairs of eyes on her: one is coming from the boy sitting across from her and the other is coming all the way from the redhead sitting on the couch. She does not look at any of them because she has a feeling that they know something they shouldn't. "(Y/N)," Lily speaks up, and (Y/N) almost jumps on her seat at the sound of her name. "I forgot something in the dorm, could you help me look for it?"

Gulping, (Y/N) nods and follows the girl to the stairs.

When they're back at the dorm, Lily turns to face (Y/N) and takes out her wand, pointing it at her. "Revelio," she says quietly. The hickeys on (Y/N)'s neck slowly come into view once again and Lily gasps. "Oh my God, I knew it!"

"I can explain-"

"Oh, stop it," Lily cuts (Y/N) off before engulfing her in a tight hug. When she pulls away, she is beaming. "It's about damn time you guys started dating."

(Y/N) stares at her in disbelief. "What do you mean?"

"Are you kidding me?" Lily chortles. "You two have been liking each other since forever, it was so obvious! How long have you guys been...?"

(Y/N) blushes. "Since last year..."

Lily gasps louder. "And you didn't tell me?!"

"We wanted to keep it a secret from everyone because James will kill us if he finds out."

"Oh, please, I'd like to see him try," Lily scoffs while folding her arms across her chest. "He can't keep you guys apart just because he's your brother. In fact, he should be happy that you're dating someone he's close to and not some other random boy he doesn't know."

(Y/N) has a hopeful look on her face. "You think so?"

Lily places a hand on her shoulder. "He has no other choice but to accept this unless he intends on losing you both."

When they both go back down, the three boys are still trying to fish up answers from Sirius; his excuse about not being able to sleep did not work on them as well as he wanted to. James can tell that there is something else that he's not telling them and his first guess is, "Were you with someone, perhaps?" He wiggles his eyebrows.

As Sirius shakes his head, (Y/N) makes her way to the front of the couch. "Yes," she says impulsively. "He was with me."

The room goes silent after she speaks up and she almost begins to regret it. Sirius' eyes are huge, almost like they'll pop out of his face at any moment, Peter's jaw almost reaches the rug beneath their feet, Remus leans back on his chair and watches the scene in amusement, and James is silent. At first, he thinks that she is joking but, as soon as his eyes fall on the marks on her neck, he goes pale. "What the fuck?"

Sirius stands up in a hurry before James can blow up on him. "James-"

"Why were you with my sister, Sirius?" James growls.

Sirius gives him an apologetic look before sighing in defeat. "We've been... kind of dating for a while-"

"Nope," James shakes his head furiously. "Absolutely not. I'm not having this."

"I know you don't want to hear it but..." Sirius walks over to (Y/N) and grabs her hand. A jolt of electricity runs through her but she's not sure if It's because they're finally going public or if It's the adrenaline of doing something like this in front of her brother. "I love your sister. A lot."

James stands up as well while clenching his jaw. "Get your hand off of her-"

"James," Lily calls to him firmly.

He turns around to look at her and she narrows her eyes at him. He huffs. "Lily, I can't allow this. It isn't right."

"Why isn't it right? Because you say so?" she tilts her head questioningly.

James opens his mouth to speak but closes it once he sees (Y/N) scooting closer to his best friend. She is glaring at him but tears are starting to form in her eyes. "I'm not doing anything wrong." She says quietly.

"Come on, James, they're not hurting anyone," Remus adds. "Besides, you're with Lily. Why can't (Y/N) do the same?"

James lets out a long breath before scratching the top of his head in frustration. He knows that there's nothing he can do about this. "And this has been going on for how long now?"

"A year!" Lily blurts out excitedly. Sirius and (Y/N) look at each other and he raises an eyebrow at her. She smiles innocently.

"Bloody hell," Remus chuckles. "And we never noticed."

James sits back down. "Tell me about it. I feel like an idiot right now."

(Y/N) approaches her brother. "I'm really sorry for not telling you sooner. I knew you wouldn't be too excited about it."

James sighs for the longest time. He's quiet for a moment before he says, "It's okay, I guess. Just... as long as you guys keep the PDA to a minimum in front of me then... I guess It's fine."

He mutters the last part very quietly but (Y/N) still hears him. "Really?" she beams.

James rolls his eyes and waves his hand dismissively. "Yeah, yeah, whatever."

Lily squeals in the background as (Y/N) hugs her brother tight, thanking him more than once because she still cannot believe that he (and everyone else) knows about the relationship now. It feels like a large weight has finally been lifted off of her shoulders.

(Y/N) then turns to Sirius, who still seems to be processing everything that just happened, and she hugs him as well. When she looks up at him with the biggest smile he has ever seen on her, Sirius cannot help but grab her face and kiss her like he always does when they're alone. Only this time it feels different, because he knows that they do not have to hide anything anymore and he can kiss her and hug her and hold her hand whenever he feels like it.

"WHAT DID I JUST SAY?"

They pull away immediately. "Sorry, mate," Sirius clears his throat, both of them trying to keep a stern face. "Anyway, Butterbeer?"

All of them agree at the same time. They make their way to the exit; Remus and Peter walk out first –"Guess It's just you and me buddy." Remus says while patting Peter's back-, then James and Lily, and then (Y/N) and Sirius. He wastes no time in interlocking his fingers with hers and they smile to themselves, almost like they're too shy to look at each other.

It feels like a new beginning for both of them.

1K notes · View notes

azrielgreen · 9 months

Note

Do you ever worry that writing dead dove fic could negatively impact your writing career in the future? I'm kind of struggling with this, I've seen so many authors careers ruined by doing much less "problematic" things than writing non-con in a fic. I'd be devastated if by some miracle I managed to write a book that actually got popular just to be canceled by someone digging up my fanfic. From what I've seen the book community is even more harsh than fandom, there's no nuance or room for discussion whatsoever, when the hammer falls that's it and no one wants to be seen as being on the wrong side so they won't read your book. I don't want to limit myself creatively or have to be secretive and paranoid, I'm here to make friends, but I also don't want to shoot myself in the foot. I'm just curious if you've thought about how you'd handle a situation like that.

This is a really sad way of looking at things and I'm really sorry that the absolute state of fandom has people feeling so down and so heavily policed.

I don't ever worry about this.

One of the first messages I ever got about 'You're Divine' was someone telling me that it meant so much to them that I was open about who I am and upfront about writing fic because it made them believe one day a fanfic writer might break into the publishing industry.

There are THOUSANDS of professional writers who also write fanfic, many who are very open about it. I will be one of them.

This Dead Dove "Panic" isn't new, it comes and goes. This discourse is old as shit and just about as interesting to anyone except the people who are eagerly learning puritanical ways to bully and harass.

I always write for myself. I write what I want, how i want and I will share that with the people who want to read for it for as long as I can. I will content warn and create as many safe barriers for readers as I can. I will always write with empathy and nuance and authentic curiosity and i will always stay open to the changes i can make to be more open minded, more inclusive, to broaden my horizons and explore with an open heart.

I will not censor myself.

I will not stand on a pedestal and loudly decry others to detract attention from myself and my own works.

I will not stand for bullying and I will NOT quieten my literary voice because there are those who think that depicting rape is endorsing rape. I won't bow to those who seek to remove the context every single time and I will never bow to purity culture.

If I sell 10 books in my life, I'll know that's 10 people who really wanted to read my work and they did. That's amazing to me.

I have nothing but respect for those who choose to shield their identity, who write with pseuds, who protect themselves.

But if I can make one fucking person feel better about themselves and their interests, about writing darker material... if i can make ONE person feel unashamed and confident enough to write what they want to, then that'll be worth everything.

I'm always going to write what I want and publishing will be the same. I have no intention of watering myself down for mainstream approval.

The literary world cannot be made up of only ONE type of story. It cannot be censored. It must not be purified and sanctified. Some stories are ugly. Shocking. Horrifying. Brutal. Provocative. The expanse of human emotion of vast and complex. As humans, we sometimes have a need to experience complex, ugly emotions within a framed narrative of safety. We read and we write for so much MORE than moral virtue signalling. It's tiring to see some of the most important stories being blanket labelled as "problematic" just for existing. To see people ignore warnings and context and thoughtlessly embodying the modern puritan.

I'll never stop being who I am and writing for myself. Everything else is secondary. Once you start writing for other people, bowing to purity culture, diluting yourself... it's already over.

Fuck that.

Love, Az.

💜💜💜

#askaz

83 notes · View notes

thepaintpirate · 7 months

Text

Red lips - Portgas D. Ace x Fem! Singer! Reader

Pt.2

Summary: Months after meeting him, you find yourself in a difficult situation when the very same hot-head pirate you deceived decides to help you out.

Tw: Language, violence, abuse mentioned, smut content (I am not good at writing it this will be my first published writing with smut)

Not proof read so if it gets confusing that's tired me, too lazy to check things add up.

(Readers Pov)

The sting on your cheek was equivalent to what you thought a snakes bit might feel like. An initial prick from the strike, cast away with the hand finishing it's motion, and then the gradual building ache after. Spilt lip like paper, torn just as easily and bleeding a droplet of red ink down your chin. It was certainly ironic, made you want to laugh for some reason if your face didn't hurt so much, that the man who "liked you pretty" would strike you and ruin that unblemished skin so many admired.

Said man was heaving and wide eyed like a fat hog, his arm still extended from where he'd just hit you. Flushed cheek, sweaty and unkempt comb over and furrowed untrimmed brows. He looked mad, he looked wild. And where you were often labeled as "dramatic"... you wondered what they'd call him if they saw this. Not that they, his clientele, would ever see it though that was wishful thinking. Your boss, the Don, was far too proud to ever look like this in public. "Don't you ever, ever speak to me like that again you sour bitch!"

It started off only a couple of months ago when your boss told you about his insight into a plan to overthrow him, or at least mess up his business, by a group called the Whitebeard pirates. For some unknown reason he'd become a target of theirs, so one of his ears in their little community told him all about what was going to happen and when. You remembered that meeting well, he had been snickering like some cartoon villain about how great he was to have a spy on that crew and how he was so smart... You'd tolerated it with a smile like always, secretly wanting to slip away and go back to your room and sleep.

On the night of the plan everything was going well. Your act had drawn all of them to the stage area, in the line of sight for all the Don's henchmen, and it was only a few minutes before you could start your other end of the deal. Get the other half of the little task force of pirates alone and dispose of them. Simple. You already had that man at the bar: hook, line and sinker. He hadn't taken his gaze off of you for even a moment, you weren't sure if he was even breathing at one point. Getting men to focus on you was easy, performance was what you were born to do and just being on a stage wiped away any fears you had. Their lustful gazes meant nothing, they couldn't hurt you up there. It was all the same... and yet somehow, his eyes were different.

It wasn't until he rushed to your side that you saw them up close. Deep gunmetal grey, smoky and dark. But where there was no light as he looked at the Don, the minute he focused on you his gaze lit up like embers of a fire bursting into flames. No one had ever looked at you like that before. No one had ever come to you without even a thought of their own wellbeing, all just to make sure you were okay. He had read you exceptionally. Part of that scared you. Your power came from being unpredictable, flipping like a coin whenever you needed to, and covered with a plastic mask that was your resolve. A wolf wearing sheep's hyde.

Then it just progressed from there. He was genuine, he was passionate and devoted without even knowing you well. You were human to him, yet so much more. The more steps you took, the more your emotions slipped into turmoil. On one hand, if you let him go then one more good person would be allowed to live. Ace, you'd learned his name prior to meeting him, would live. But deep inside of you, you weren't ready to sacrifice all you'd worked for just for a guy you just met. In fact, even if his kindness was sweet it also infuriated you. You wanted a reason to hate him so that your betrayal wouldn't hurt so much. To be justified. Against any other man you wouldn't think about it, but Ace wasn't any other man.

He was a man that held you gently like a butterflies wing, kissed you like he was asking for permission and continuing to read you to make sure you knew that you could back away at any moment. He was perfect for those few seconds. But you still stabbed him.

You spoke to him and looked at him like a worm after that, gave him as many reasons to hate you as possible. If he survived then you could live with him hating you, needed him to. So you left before you could break that mask of yours and cry, or give in and try to patch him up. Back to the Don, back to your miserable life. Because you owed him after all...

The Don failed in his endeavour to end them before they ended him, part of you was glad. But it just meant you'd now have to deal with a more explosive and temperaments Don until the pirates were either killed or subdued. Even then you ignored the temper tantrum he was having and went to your space of the ship instead, currently being loaded up so you could leave as quickly as possible.

Weeks went by and the more time went, the more the Don became easily irritated. He'd lash out at any and all underlings, so fueled by his fear of death that he instilled his own fears into the hearts of his henchmen. Most days you could get by without his voice raised at you, not out of kindness or love but rather preservation. You were like a prized porcelain teacup, brought out to impress others and look pretty. Fragile, though you knew you definitely weren't, and he liked that about you. Easy to keep away, his little songbird in your cage. Bound to him by only thankfulness long since passed, and yet never paid. No matter what you did, it wouldn't surmount to the help he'd given you. Saved you, built you up and placed you at the top of luxury. All of that would just pile up in the years, more excuses about why your dept hadn't been paid yet and you'd still owe him for the next bare minimum thing he'd do for you.

It was toxic, but it was familiar. You had nowhere else to go and he was often right about how he was the only one who knew you. Until Ace. He didn't know your life but he knew your soul and he knew that you were supposed to be free. But you killed that chance before it could even bloom.

Recently though with sightings of the Whitebeard crew's main ship, the Moby, the Don had been become animalistic in his rage. He'd lash out blindly now. Today, you were the victim. All you had done was try to talk him out of his anger when he tried to assault a maid staff. She was cowering on the floor, sore face like yours. You told him his fears were "childish" because your crew was big enough to defend itself and your ship was fast enough to escape given the need to. He took it the wrong way, hence the slap or punch across your jaw.

To be fair, your patience had been thinning for a long time. It was only your fear that had really been holding you back, that losing sense of debt too. But you come to realise in that moment, vision just as red as your swelling lip, that fury is just as strong as fear and can override it. You glared down at his haunched position. "You don't want me to speak the truth to you, no? What are you worried that everyone will know you're piss scared of those pirates and that their boss is just a little baby in a grownups suit?"

He was going to retort, ready to lunge at you again but you stood tall. "I'm only here because I owed you, but that was a long time ago. Those shitty excuses you make don't mean anything anymore, especially now that I'm seeing clearly for the first time in years".

He laughed, an ugly laugh that bubbled with vile spit. "Of course you still owe me, you'd be dead without me!"

You smiled, a cruel and critical smile. "Oh I know that, just like you'd be dead if any of your henchmen knew how much of a pathetic weakling you are. I'm free of my debt to you, I'll be taking her too" you pointed at the maid who'd shuffled behind you for protection. "If you don't want them finding out about your silly little tantrum you'll let us leave".

He gagged, huffing in an exhausted manner. "You wouldn't dare-"

"I would! Don't fucking make me do it, it's for your own good. Good riddance".

You took the girl's arm and haunled her out, leaving your ex-boss to kick around like an angry toddler. Tonight you pack up and leave, set this woman out on whatever path home she had then you'd be alone in the world.

The two of you departed, letting her walk independently now, to your respective living quarters to gather all your belongings with the promise of meeting up again on the street outside. Into a leather case you stuffed all your clothes, books and wads full of cash you had just "borrowed" from in and around the ship. It was the least he could give you for all his shitty treatment for nearly ten years. You gazed at the very dress you wore when you met Ace, packing it last of all with a solem look on your face. Maybe you'd meet him again one day and say you were sorry. With everything from this life tucked away, you stared hard at your confined room in resentment before leaving.

On the dock you spotted the maid, a cloak wrapped over her and a lantern in hand. She greeted you with a thankful smile. "Thankyou miss Red, truly. Please, take a cloak to hide yourself... it will be a cold night". She gave you a deep, dark red cloak with a hood that you covered yourself in. "Thanks. Alright, we must go fast now. I fear my threats won't hold him for long..."

Over the next few days you moved from island to island, about three, before you reached a port with a transport vessel for the maid. It would take her to the West Blue, her home blue, where she could get back to her family. She stared at you and then gave you a swift hug before she departed for the ship, waving at you from the deck. You were just thankful she made it out safely, the Don wouldn't be able to track her now.

But now the realisation of your loneliness hit you. Entirely alone. No friends, family or allies. You could do anything, go anywhere with the remaining cash you had. Maybe you should have gone on the ship too, sailed away and make a life somewhere quiet. But it was that internal hope of seeing him again that stopped you. Yeah right, like he'd forgive you... You found out from a tabloid that he was in fact alive and active, sporting a small scar on his stomach in a newly issued bounty poster. It made you dizzy, the conciquences of your own actions were too much to bare. Soon enough you'd forget him.

And what's the best way to forget someone? Why to drink your heart out of course!

You found yourself at a rough bar in the middle of nowhere, feeding yourself off of the drinks that random pervs in the bar sent your way. No way were you drunk, just tipsy and unwilling to give those men what they were actually trying to buy. If it had been Ace then maybe you would say yes... but that was a foolish thought, so you downed another shot.

You got up at around midnight to go back to your rented room just across the street, but in your delirium you hadn't noticed two men follow you put of the bar.

As your foot made contact with the pavement, and arm roughly grabbed yours and tugged you back into him. The fool laughed as you struggled. "Oi, quit it. It took us ages to find you girly".

The other man circled in front of you. He was small and scrawny, a broken looking nose and nearly bald head. "Yeah, the Don's been very dead set on having you back. Won't you come back with us?"

You, even in a bad state, spat at his feet. "Like I'd go back to that coward, he's weak for not coming after me himself!"

They both chuckled more. "He's a busy man! And you aren't so special sissy. Now don't give us trouble and come back with us-"

You stomped hard on the tall one's foot and he let go in startle, lunging at the smaller and weaker one while his buddy was down. You immediately fell to the floor, hitting his face hard into the concrete. He screamed, you'd never done anything like this before but the adrenaline was helping you out. With another blow to his side with your foot, the small man gave in and passed out. Still, you weren't fast enough and his buddy had recovered. He yanked your hair and you moved off of the small man with a cry.

"Stupid bitch!" He yelled. But no one was coming to help you. You couldn't fight this one. He looked 7'0 at least, bulky and strong. You weren't good enough as he pulled you backwards but before his hands could get to you, you felt a bright burning feeling coming from nearby.

Suddenly the street erupted in flames and yet you were pulled away without being harmed. From the sidelines you watched the attacker get torched into dust as a am silhouetted the flames. Broud shouldered, wild haired and... topless? His back was bare, a canvas for that famous emblem you knew too well. A Whitebeard pirate.

You breathed in relief and rubbed your sore arm, but soon you felt anxious. Any Whitebeard pirate would know you, maybe even Ace told them about your attack. They could have easily killed those guys just to avenge Ace by killing you themselves. Yet it didn't seem so bad, whatever happened you probably deserved it. You didn't even notice him turn around until those familiar stormy eyes were on you just as they were those months ago. Not a bit less bright or kind. "(Y/n)..." He spoke, as if he wasn't truly sure it was you.

You gulped and nodded. "Ace..."

He came to your side, immediately on his knees in front of your crouched body. "I didn't burn you did I? Did they cut you? Bruise you? Show me, I can help you-"

He was going to take your sore arm when you pulled away in bewilderment. Why on earth would he care? "Why?" You asked.

He looked at you as if you'd said the silliest thing ever, gleaming brightly like a swooning fool. "Duh, because I care about you. I told you before that I'd never let anyone look at you in the wrong way again, that applies to touching you in the wrong way too". He dedicated brushed his hand up your skin, holding your face's side and brushing a tear from your eye. "I came looking for you y'know".

You leaned into his hand, softly ghosting it with your lips because you were too scared to kiss him. You felt like you didn't deserve to. "I stabbed you moron, you're not supposed to help people that stab you".

He laughed. "Yeah but you didn't want to! Plus, you're not with the Don dude anymore so you don't need to worry".

You smiled sweetly, but then you stared questioningly. "How'd you know I left?"

Ace hauled you to your feet and walked with you, rubbing circles on your bruised arm. "Well, we found him finally. Beat him up, beat his crew up. I questioned him about where you were and he told me you left, so he sent those two goons after you. I caught up to them just in time it would seem".

You couldn't even begin to believe him. Instead you turned on him and hugged him tightly. It was the only way you could express your gratitude. "Thankyou Ace, for thinking about me and not giving up on me..."

You could feel his skin heat up, but instead you just buried yourself deeper into his skin. It didn't help that he was topless and a little sweaty, especially for his nerves, but he hugged you back. "N-no problem".

For an awkward while you just held him, listening to his erratic heartbeat soon become even and synced with yours. It was magical how two hearts can connect across bodies, two souls so close to touching. Ace ruffled the top of tour head and chuckled. "Okay that's enough, we need to get going".

You raised and eyebrow. "Where to? I've got a hotel room here, nowhere else".

He pointed to a small ship on the water, a durable and comfy. It radiated the same warmth Ace did. "I borrowed it from the Moby, it's just a bigger ship to take me and you back to he Moby. Usually I'd take Striker but it's not big enough for two people" he said sheepishly, looking at you for approval. You guessed he might not know your reaction to him basically saying he wants you to come home with him, to a home of sorts at least. But did they want you there?

"Ace am I even welcome there? I stabbed you..." you stated obviously.

He smiled nervously. "Well Pops said yes, he said you have guts. Marco and Izou were... harder to convince. But Thatch said he likes your singing and if I get you back with us I won't drag on and on about you at him anymore- uh not in a weird way. Just, I mean I was talking about how you need help escaping. Yeah" he tried to fix his words, his cute face red like a chilli pepper. Oh he was going to be your sweet death.

Even in the slightly uncomfortable silence you still had him collect your stuff from the hotel with you, move it to the ship and set off. Additionally, it was a cool little ship. Small cabin with a kitchen and table. The only downfall you noticed happened to be something you realised too late. You opened the door the the room he put your luggage in, breath catching momentarily as you saw the issue. One bed.

A queen bed, but still one bed. It was a small room and so it hugged the walls on either side, a single lamp on the wall illuminated the room. Their was a small mirror and draw on the left at the foot of the bed, also pressed against the wall for room. One port hole window on the ride and left, tapering in light from the stars outside. Before you could complain, you turned around and saw Ace doing something bizarre. He was on small table, laying down a blanket and a pillow...

"Ace... what are you doing".

He looked completely unpurplexed, as if what he was doing wasn't strange. "Uh, making my bed. I get out here, you get the room. Easy".

It was hard to argue with him while he was 1) still topless and 2) wearing the most delicious grey sweatpants you'd ever seen. Hardly left anything to the imagination. Still you forced yourself to look him in the eyes. "As soon as we hit a wave you'll fall off and hurt yourself, get off the table and take the bed".

He shook his head. "No, you take it. You got injured, you need rest".

You stared at him dumbly. "It's just a bruise. Ace, either take the bed by yourself and I sleep out here or join me-". You quickly covered your mouth, but couldn't fix what just came out. Sure you'd kissed before, under strange circumstance, and you clearly liked him but... that was just as step over the line. What if you'd just made it awkward again?

Instead of the repulsed or offended look your anxious mind expected, Ace looked rather shocked... but not in a bad way. The corner of his lip curled, despite his eyes betraying him and looking a mix of awkward and something else you couldn't quite place. "I- yeah sure! If you're comfortable w-with it I mean..."

You both kind of maneuvered around each other to let Ace back into the small room, having only nodded nervously a "Yes, I'm okay with that" to him a moment ago. When he came through the doorway he seemed intent on not letting a single part if him brush you, climbing and fumbling onto the bed. Ace took up one side, practically glued to the wall and just laid on top of the covers like an idiot. But instead of joining him, you kind of forgot to move from the doorway and stood there like an even bigger idiot. But Ace seemed to find humour in it, quickly trying to find a way to ease the tension. He patted the bed and smile. "Are you coming or what? I'm not going to bite you y'know..."

'Wouldn't mind if you did' you thought.

"Oh, uh yeah I'm coming", you climbed up onto it and crawled to the side farthest from Ace. You got comfortable, only the sound of the shuffling duvet to be heard in the weird silence. Until you stopped and now it was only silence. You both laid stiffly on your backs, looking at the ceiling with nothing to really say except for the occasion mouth open like you were going to say something. Ace decided to save the embarrassment from you. "Goodnight" he half choked out, turning completely onto his side away from you.

You were glad but also... disappointed? I mean what were you expecting, you hardly know him. Instead of dwelling on it you followed suit and slowly turned on tour side away from him, giving a quick "Goodnight" back to him.

It must've been late when you woke up again. The room was almost pitch, save for the gentle beam of light coming from the porthole window. Moonbeam seemed to hit your eyes relentlessly, causing you to flinch and scrunch your eyes. You tried to move onto your back, only you couldn't... something was behind you, like a solid pillow or maybe the duvet had bunched up behind you making it hard to move. You could barely see, but as your senses started to return you started to feel the heat that came with the object behind you. It wrapped around your stomach, pressed against your back and leaking into the crook of your neck and immobilising you. It breathed down your shirt and then breathed in gently, tufting the loose hair on your collar. Suddenly that 'thing' wasn't a thing anymore, rather a person held tightly to you. The only other person on the boat and likely nearby, making you feel hotter than you already were.

Ace's hand were over your arms, meeting at your belly where one of his hands was brushing the skin under your slightly lifted shirt. His bare back was rising and falling, moving against you and his legs were bundled in yours. From a bird's eye perspective you were sure anyone would think you were together. It made your face heat up furiously as you tried to turn your chin to at least see him, face snuggled against you. He was a hugger it would seem, cute in a way if you weren't slightly nervous.

Just then, he seemed to shift in a way that had you yelp silently. His crotch area pressed harder into tour backside, shuffling subconsciously and seeming a lot harder than it should be. 'Goddammit' you thought. The idiot was hugged up against you like his life depended on it, you couldn't move and now it seemed like he had a hard-on. Great. You managed to turn only slightly and see his dreamy face smiling sleepily into you shoulder, making very faint noises as he dreamed away. The wetness between your legs wasn't helping, making you rub your thighs together in frustration. You had to wake him up because otherwise you'd get no sleep whatsoever and end up irritable in the morning.

"Ace..." You whispered close to his face, craning your neck. He mumbled in sleep, making you try again. "Ace wake up..."

His lashes fluttered open and God you two were close, faces with your noses practically touching and lips just a few centimetres apart. The pirate was trying to regain his senses too, but seemed distracted by your eyes. "(Y/n)". He spoke in a hazy voice fresh from sleep, pupils blown wide.

You gostled your leg deliberately against his growing length, though it was a cruel move, making him focus on just exactly what he was doing. Ace whined, looking down quickly in confusion and you bit your lip at the measly noise he'd made. "I- uh" he said, looking back up at you. But his gaze wasn't one of confusion, rather warmth and lust. He rubbed against you in retaliation which made you breath sharply. All while this happened his arms tightened on your skin, pulling you impossibly closer. The understanding here was clear, unspoken and physical. You knew he wanted you, you wanted him too. It was bound to happen one way or another from the moment he first looked into your eyes.

His fingers gripped your stomach, snaking up your shirt as he continued the friction against your bodies. The tips of his fingers brushed the underside of one of your breasts, cupping and holding which made you sigh in delight. The pool inside you was getting too much with all the movement, you wanted to take your clothes off. Instead you took one of your hands, while Ace was too preoccupied kissing your shoulder, and slipped it into his trousers and quickly reached for his length. Once in hand Ace moaned, biting your skin softly. "Cruel woman" he muttered with a grin as you began to thumb the tip of his leaking cock.

For a while you teased him and he left marks of your neck, shoulder and back as more desiring noises left the both of you. The atmosphere was sticky and gravitated the two of you to one another in a desperate pursuit for pleasure and for eachother entirely. Rubbing up and down his length, making it damp with his own precum, you whispered to him. "I need you Ace, help me take my clothes off?"

He chuckled, kissing your cheek quickly and seeming to flip you so fast onto your back that you couldn't stop him. Without prompt he reached for the hem of your shirt and you lifted your arms up, making it easy for him to pull it off of you. To his utter delight, even though he'd already felt as much, you weren't wearing anything underneath and instead your nipples perked in the fresh air. His eyes on you didn't feel awful at all like most people made you feel, his were loving and attractive. As he leaned down he whispered gentle praises into your skin, feeling his hand along your hips. The bead of your left breast was taken into his mouth and his licked, teeth just glazing you making a tingle run up your back. Your spine arked a little, leaving room for a hand of his to dip and hold onto your ass and squeeze.

In your whole life, no one had paid attention to you intimately. They took and never gave. But Ace seemed solely at your disposal as he kissed you softly, each a request for permission that you continued to say yes to. His grey eyes looked up at you every so often and even if they were glazed over, he remained alert of your reactions.

Not long after, he'd discarded you bottoms and thrown them away as well. His cheek was pressed against your inner thigh, looking at you lovingly as he rubbed a thumb against your clit. You couldn't help but squirm and moan softly, growing impatient at this teasing. "Ace, please~" you cooed at him. For a fleeting moment you saw his eyes look so utterly taken by you, before reverting back to a somewhat confident look. He knew what you wanted, sighing sarcastically he positioned his face right in front of your womanhood and licked a long stripe up your entrance to the bud at the top. Your hand rested on the back of his head, you were already starting to sweat.

The eager man got back to his work, this time licking and lapping at the soaking junction between your legs like a starved man. His strong fingers held just under one thigh and stopped you from crushing his head (not that he'd complain) and the other was rubbing gentle circles. You swore your leg nearly overpowered him in shock, as only a moment later he slipped two fingers into you. He pumped slowly, cruelly and matched the pace of his lapping. The brunette took a moment to gaze up at you, with those eyes you knew he was smug. A coil built up in your lower body as he continued. You threw your head back, never having felt this growing sensation before but you loved it. Loved him and how he made you feel. Moments later it broke and your whole body felt hot as you whined and convulsed, even then he remained vigilant.

When your orgasm subsided he rose up, chin wet and still smiling at you. He looked positively excited, rather unfit face for what he'd just done to you. "Do you think you could take a little more, love?" He asked you.

You nodded at him, relaxing into the covers as you watched him strip his partly damp joggers. From them strung his dick... even though you'd felt it, seeing it was something else. Ace had a tan line on his waist and so his lower region was only a bit paler, length to match it. Above average length, bent upwards and just about average in terms of girth. Overall he actually had quite a pretty cock compared to the horror stories you'd heard about men before, all unclean and quite gross looking. Ace was fresh and even if he was a sea dog, smelt and cleaned better than most men. Your staring must've made him confused. "Something wrong? We can stop if you want-"

"No, I don't want to stop. You're just... Nice to look at" you giggled. He climbed closed, hovering over you and placing his fists either side of your body. His nose touched your, eyes narrow and seductive. "You like what you seen do you? There's still more to come (Y/n)" he kissed you softly, moving his hands and picking your body up by your thighs. The tip of his length slapped you as he started to position himself. Your eyes lingered at where your bodies would meet, keen to see it happen for some reason.

"Relax lovely thing and let me do the work..." He mused, licking your ear.

Slowly, moving one hand to hold himself, Ace moved his head into your entrance. The electric sting at first made you wince but soon as he started to sink further you began to like the burn of being stretched by him. His pelvis met your skin, bottoming out and he waited there while breathing unevenly. It seemed you had a strong effect on him. You squeezed his arm, urging him to move as you bit your lip.

It was agonisingly steady at first, getting used to being in this position together. But soon enough he'd moved both of his hand back under you and clutched your ass as he moved fasted. Skin slapping filled the room and your head lulled about of the pillows as you let him go, speaking incoherent praises to him. Ace reacted to it well, every time you muttered a "so good" or something else about him he seemed to push into you just a little rougher. The man was starved for attention and so you gave it to him: kissing is neck, running your hand through his hair and even squeezing his own ass which actually made him moan lightly into your neck.

The pressure built between you and Ace seemed to fuck you dumb, eyes so out of it and body so sporadic you thought he might be gone entirely. You remained grounded, only focusing on him and loving him as he let himself take you. You'd never had so much pleasure and fun in your life. Back arching as he became more frantic, leaving peppered kisses across your collar bones. "Ngh- (Y/n)" he kept calling to you, holding your behind and you were sure it would leave two hand print bruises on you.

Suddenly your stomach felt incredibly hot again, more intense than last time. You couldn't even speak properly anymore as Ace sped up into you. He seemed to stutter and aim higher, grunting with each thrust. In only a moment he choked out. "S-shit, cumming-" he was moving in and out of you violently and so you held onto him and braced yourself as your body also started to melt apart. With a final snap, you broke and choked on your own saliva as you felt the most bliss you'd ever had. He quickly pulled himself out, hissing curses as he rubbed himself twice and came hard onto your tummy in long spurts. It painted you in white patches as you too let down your high, panting like an exhausted dog.

The cold night air was now tainted warm and smelt like naked bodies. Ace looked down at you, regaining some sense. "Sorry, I'll clean you up" he murdered with a poorly concealed grin. He hopped of the bed and opened the door to go and fetch a towel, leaving you with only your thoughts and the fact that you had indeed just fucked the Portgas D. Ace, the very same guy you thought would hate you forever. You sighed, watching his shadow shuffle and hum softly far in the kitchen trying to find something soft to clean you with. It made you laugh. What a surprising dork he was...

...

Bonus:

"You get attacked or sum?" Thatch said casually.

Ace hadn't even seen him in the dark of the kitchen. Their little boat had only just docked on the Moby a half hour ago, in the middle of the night so hardly anyone saw them arrive. Ace was too tired to care, and too keen to get back to his new lover.

"What?" He asked tiredly.

Thatch pointed at him. "You got a bunch of fat bruises on you Ace, if I didn't know any better I'd say you've been fuc-"

"Shut up Thatch!"

Hope you enjoyed this lazy, smutty and quite frankly unplanned pt2. Soz it took ages, I'm a busy gal. Anyway, my first smut and quite frankly I'm ashamed of my depraved self.

#one piece #one piece x reader #one piece fanfiction #portgas ace x reader #portgas ace x you #portgas d ace #ace one piece

48 notes · View notes

doin-just-fine · 10 months

Text

What the brain doin?? PT. 1 of a questioning median system's journey

"Why do I think I'm plural?"

Hello!

I am making this post for those who think they are a Median System. I've noticed our community is small and that there aren't many recourses out there to compare experiences to. The few that do exist have been very helpful so I thought I'd add to the pool to compare and contrast with. In this post I will discuss how I reached the point of believing I am a Median System, why, as of right now, that label fits the best for me, and what my system is like on the inside.

(THIS IS A SAFE SPACE FOR EVERYONE REGARDLESS OF ORGIN, LABLE, KNOWLEDGE, OR IDENTITY)

How did I get here?

I started learning about what plurality was in 2018 for a college psych course. At that point in time I just found it interesting; fascinated at how the brain reacted to trauma and why it would split off as a way to cope. A tiny part of me thought "am I....?? NAaaah!! I would know!! It would click and everything would all make sense and I would just know!!! Plus I don't have enough trauma." I developed a hyper-fixation on it for a bit but it fizzled out and I didn't reflect on it again for a while.

In 2021 I took a course that looked at the abstract ideas and philosophies behind what consciousness really is. I decided that for my final research paper in that course I would write about DID and other forms of plurality and what implications their very existence meant for how we define consciousness. After that, the hyper-fixation was reignited. I started to reflect on myself again but came to the same conclusions. Until, I met my now partner, who is a system, in 2022. They taught me a lot about plurality.

It's a bit fuzzy when I started questioning myself again or why. EDIT: I remembered! I ran out of ADHD medication and had to go without it for a couple weeks. For context, I haven't taken a break from my meds since I started them at age 8 and at the time of running out I was on the highest dose of really strong stuff. After this break I started to notice how much my meds suppressed my emotions and creativity, eventually I got more medication. I then started asking my partner more questions about how they figured it out they were a system, how they knew, what did they do, how did they navigate embracing it, etc. I was a bit obsessive about these questions and it wasn't hyper-fixation level obsessive, this was "I need these answers to survive" level obsessive. I started noticing anxiety around these questions that I had never felt before. Ya know, totally normal singlet stuff.

I started a notes app note titled "Psychological analysis of myself" after I had a panic attack that felt like someone else was having it through my body. Like genuinely, it snuck up on me (unusual for my anxiety I usually can see it coming a mile a way) and then it felt like my body had the panic attack without me, I was just there along for the ride. It freaked me out, which is why I started the notes app. I started diving into more research on OSSD and more nuanced experiences of plurality that never came up in basic psychology research.

Then the denial started. Heavy, aggressive, degrading, denial. I pride myself on have decent esteem and self love but this denial laughed in my face. I only felt this once before when I was failing a math class in 2019. It was the first class I had ever been so close to failing I tore myself apart about it. It was so unlike me to be so mean to myself. When having this denial dialogue in my head about how (aggressive language warning) I was attention seeking faker who was just lonely and wanted to feel special, it was always stated in “You are…” statements. For example: “You’re just faking.” “You’re stupid.” “I can’t believe you think this.” When I would have these conversations with myself I would feel myself getting tired. Not tired in a way where I needed a nap but more like a drifting tired. I know this may be connected to dissociation, or switching (unclear).

So in my notes app I would write the thoughts out as they came. I realized I was having a chat with myself. A great app for honestly singlets and plurals to download is ANTAR. It’s an app that lets you chat with you "emotions" to sort out emotional hang ups but if you label the emotions as your alters instead you can chat with your system! These conversations are why I didn’t fully fall back into denial stage.

For a moment I did. I concluded that I was just being silly and dramatic and blowing things out of proportion. But having those conversations on my phone that I could go back to and look at didn’t let me stay there for long.

I went back and forth on the denial thing for a minute only because I couldn’t find label that fit how I felt about my potential system until I happened across Median System. There was the click. Everything fell into place. I sat and read the definition and just thought “That’s me”.

Why “Median System”

A Median System is describe as

A median system (also called midcontinuum) is a system where members are not as distinct or separate from each other. It can be considered being somewhere between multiple and singlet.[1] Some are dependent on a single individual, or the dependence can be mutual in that there is no central individual. Some median systems feel more blurred between themselves[2]. Others may also be based around a shared identity or kin. The members of a median system are often described as aspects or facets. Some median systems may identify as different archetypes[1]. Despite being more fluid and similar, median systems can be very diverse. Median systems are often opposed to multiple systems, with multiple systems experiencing more distinction between headmates. Some may also oppose it to partitionary systems, but in fact, median systems can be either partitionary or blurian, as variance in identity and presence or absence of memory sharing do not necessarily go hand-in-hand.

For me, part of the reason that I was in such denial of possibly being plural was because I have little to no amnesia in my day to day but unlike OSDD-1b (which also lacks amnesia) I don’t have distinct others. It felt like me all the time but sometimes adjacent. Someone described the difference as feeling like a snake with multiple heads rather that multiple snakes in a cage. And a Median system it feels like being an individual with multiple consciouses instead of multiple individuals in one body.

Other ways that I experience my existence are as follows:

I sometimes use plural first pronouns when referring to myself because before this realization I would be talking about myself and my brain as separate from me.

I used to joke that I felt like a system that just never fractured.

The way people describe masking but for me it feel like a more extreme level, where I’m not TRYING to change my behavior, it just sorta happens and I’m “someone else”. What I called masking felt more like skipping songs in a playlist to get to the right one instead of putting on a mask.

Another thing I experience is sometimes I expect to see a different face in the mirror and I get weirded out while still recognizing that, that is me and my face.

This one might be a stretch but I have seen other Median Systems mention it. I notice that proper singlets have 1 go to aesthetic. It may change over the years but that typically have 1. I have never been able to consistently identify with 1 aesthetic I typically cycle through several. Specifically for me it's punk, grunge, hippy, cottage academia, and dark academia. With a funky gender identity on top of all that.

I wrote this post on and off over the course of a few hours and I lost my train of thought. Please let me know if you have questions, clarifications, comments, or your own stories. My asks are open. I will probably speak more on this at a later date.

#What the brain doin #median system #actually median #questioning median system #questioning system #system #actually plural #plurality #plural community #neurogenic

88 notes · View notes

droids-in-disguise · 9 months

Text

Good Omens 2 making me think a lot about religion and religious deconstruction.

For context, I grew up Baptist, went to Catholic school for jr. high, and attended a private Christian school for my undergrad.

I grew up being told that the Bible was the ultimate source of truth, that is was the guidebook for our lives as Christians, and that, most importantly it should be taken literally.

I started wrestling with the concept of queerness when I was in jr. high. By then I had joined tumblr and had a best friend who was openly pan. But it was still a problem, because my church's reading of the Bible was that being gay was a sin. I existed very much in that "hate the sin, love the sinner" space that so many Christians seem to think is the appropriate answer. I also realized that despite being told that my church was doing Christianity the "right" way, these Catholics seemed to be just as sure in their conviction that they were doing it the right way.

In high school, I could sometimes privately admit to myself that the label "asexual" felt good, but more often than not I would lie to myself and say I was just too busy with grades and extracurricular activities to commit time to dating boys. I certainly never came out to anyone.

Ironically, it was the theology classes I took in college combined with the freedom of living away from my parents that helped me to finally realize that the Church as I knew it did not have the final say.

I learned that Biblical canon was not always set in stone and that it varies from denomination, that Hebrew and Greek words can have more than one translation or even no direct translation in English, I learned about liberation theology, and about womanist/feminist interpretations of scripture. Outside of theology class I took classes focused on Islamic history and literature. I had conversations about faith with my Muslim, Jewish, and Pagan peers. I met queer people who were both queer and Christian and who didn't see these identities as conflicting.

I had an old, hardass British lit professor who said something once during our study of Paradise Lost that I'll never forget, and that was that he believed God was like a diamond or some other precious gemstone, and that that all the different groups of Christians, Jews, and Muslims were all just seeing different facets of the same thing. Apparently this statement was something he had once told university higher-ups and it nearly cost him his job.

Despite all the deconstruction and the private acknowledgement that the church I grew up in did not have a monopoly on truth, I still went to church for years after. I did have the good sense to stop going to my parents' church and found one that was much more progressive and openly accepting of queer people, but even still it was hard to separate how much of me was there because I wanted to be there and how much was out of obligation or some sense of needing to reclaim my now tarnished view of the Church. I'm not sure where I sit now, only that I don't think I can be the one to create change from within, I am too damaged and tired for that.

All of this is why I think I relate so deeply to Aziraphale and the journey his character has undertaken, and why claims that he behaved out-of-character in the finale or that his coffee was drugged irritate me so much, because in another universe where I'm Aziraphale, I could see myself doing and saying the exact same things.

Letting go is hard, it's been painful and traumatic for me, I can't imagine what it would be for a being like Aziraphale with a much longer history.

There's such a strong desire to believe that it's only some of the Church that's bad and that if we have enough good people on the inside we can change it for the better.

Aziraphale has been hurt by Heaven and he's realized that Heaven is just as capable of doing bad as Hell (in many ways what Heaven does is more sinister because they won't admit to the bad and hide behind the façade of goodness and moral superiority), but he's a people pleaser and he's been an angel for so long, he can't just let go of his community and everything he has ever known no matter how poorly he has been treated by said Heavenly community. So then he gets this offer, work for Heaven, be in charge, make a difference. He can keep Heaven and Crowley, have his cake and eat it too. Of course he takes the job.

Crowley has had the outsider perspective for longer, he was the first to start asking questions. Perhaps there was a time when he too would've said yes to the Metatron, but now he knows better.

"We don't need Heaven, we don't need Hell. They're toxic!"

Aziraphale hasn't reached the same level of understanding that Crowley has, that no matter how many times he goes crawling back, Heaven will never truly accept him or be the place for him.

They way this story has been told over the past two seasons has been magnificent. Just as I can pinpoint all the different moments in my life that have helped to unravel what I thought I knew, we as the audience get to watch Aziraphale have these revelations too. In the first season we have the ineffable plan and this idea that armageddon is necessary and that Aziraphale shouldn't be the one to question it, but he does question it because he loves humanity, sees their goodness, and can't understand why a good God would allow them to be destroyed.

In season two, I found the bits surrounding Job to be especially poignant. First the shock that Heaven would condone the killing of children, then the realization that Crowley wouldn't kill the children or the goats going against his demonic "nature" proving Aziraphale's assumptions wrong, and finally the fear that lying would make him into a demon and the surprise when this turned out not to be true.

I have a feeling that by the end of season 3, when we get it, we will have the satisfaction of seeing Aziraphale and Crowley finally on the same page and I for one can't wait.

#good omens #good omens s2 spoilers #good omens 2 #good omens spoilers #good omens season 2

62 notes · View notes

fandomobbsessedb · 1 year

Text

Wally Darling x Sleepy Reader

These are just some pretty basic head cannons for how I think Wally acts with a sleepy reader bc today I am a very sleepy person.

AN: I’ve taken so many naps today I just figured why not. Also I’m obsessed with this silly little yellow sentient puppet

Warnings: Slightly possessive Wally but that’s about it.

⚫️🔴🟠🟡🟢🔵🟣⚪️⚫️🔴🟠🟡🟢🔵🟣⚪️⚫️

💤- Wally is a very cuddly person, he never wants to be without you, if your sleeping he’ll just lay there and hold you or if you had a hard day, he’ll most likely rub your back/shoulders. Like this boi can just tell from looking at you your holding in a lot of tension.

( that’s probably how you got sleepy in the first place, came home, took off your shoes, let out a slightly loud sigh, and he came rushing over and starts applying pressure to your upper back muscles and boom, your out like a light.)

💤- I imagine that while you sleep he likes to stare at you and all his thoughts are consumed by you and how peaceful you look sleeping. You shift even a little bit in your sleep and his hand immediately comes up to your face and starts to lightly pet where your hairline meets your forehead, just gentle loving little brushes of his hands to help you back to sleep.

💤- if you wake up randomly in the night and get super thirsty all of a sudden, before you can even roll over to see if you got a water before going to bed, Wally’s standing there holding a tall glass of ice water and his soft tired smile.

💤- if you run cold at night he’s got so many comforters for all kinds of seasons that he lets you use. He’ll even wrap you up and bundle you together in a blanket burrito before laying you down so you can sleep comfortably. He’ll hold you all tight and comfy so that you keep warm.

💤- if you run hot he’s got a little stool on your side of the bed that has a lighter form of pajama wear than what you already had on so that you can just slip them on and take your old ones off and go right back to being comfy. He’s also learned to be content with just laying to the side and watching you drift off to dreamland so that you don’t get to warm with him cuddling into you.

💤- if you run on both and your body goes either way, he’s prepared for everything, he mostly just lays next to you admiring you and occasionally saying some (possessive??) things out loud that he couldn’t admit to your face just yet. Mans is just there whenever you need something, too hot? He’ll throw the blankets off of you and grab some water with a LOT of ice. suddenly freezing cold? he has blankets folded up on the bottom edge of the bed so you can control what is on your body and what’s not. He’ll even hold your feet to warm them up faster. Anything to keep you asleep so that he can see you in that relaxed state.

💤- Get overstimulated when it comes to trying to fall asleep/be asleep in general? He has a white noise sort of machine with all kinds of sounds, or big fluffy earmuffs that drown out everything. He’s got your pajama drawer organized by texture so that if you suddenly become irritated you can change out of those quickly. Got to many thoughts running in your brain? He’ll let you ramble and go on and on till you get it all out/he’s got a pen and paper right by your bed for you to quick jot your thoughts down. And you better believe he’s got weighted blankets in all your favorite colors! The minute your out he remembers to take it off but will help compensate by half laying on you to help you stay asleep.

💤- if you have a really bad time falling asleep, he’s got a bin next to his record player labeled “y/n’s sleep remedy” and he’ll put on the gentle music and even hum or sing some of it so that you can rest your head on his chest, and focus on the vibrations coming off his chest to help you sleep.

💤- there’s not much that goes on around the neighborhood, no real rush to do things, and Wally knows your schedule and routine by heart (even if you can’t remember it 100% of the time HE does) so in order to make sure that your in top health he won’t even let you leave the bedroom until you’ve gotten the proper amount of sleep. (In your sleep he tells Home to not let you out of the room till you’ve gotten enough sleep) He helps you keep a consistent bedtime schedule so that you can fall asleep at the same time each night but if you wake up earlier than normal he’ll do everything he can to help you back to sleep. (He can’t have you going out at night, nobody goes out at night…)

💤-And on the opposite end of that, if your not wanting to wake up just yet, or your still really tried, he doesn’t mind the two of you staying in bed for a while longer. Just gives him more time to admire you. However if it starts going on 1 or 2pm he starts to get worried and urges you to start the (end?) of the day.

💤- overall he cares VERY much about your health in regards to sleep, and loves to help you stay calm and relaxed in such a quiet vulnerable time of day. He feels like it’s the only time you’ll let any walls you have down and just be open with him. (When your sleeping though it’s the only time he’s completely open with you, all the things he wishes he could tell you in the day time. All his secrets, his own hopes and dreams to be with you forever, and never EVER have to let anyone else in) after all, it’s just like his favorite song to sing while he holds you in your sleep.

“Just the two of us…”

#x reader #welcome home puppet show #wally darling #welcome home x reader #welcome home #sleep #headcannons #sleep headcannons #possessive #wally darling x reader #lots of naps #i was tired #hope you guys enjoy

108 notes · View notes

pep-the-artemis · 27 days

Text

Thads Shindig

A Murder Drones Story Containing every named character+more (yes all ~50 of them, some never seen before, full cast list in tags)!

part 1.

word count - 4,448

Uzi - *playing a video game*

N - *entering*Hi Uzi… last week was… kinda wild.

Uzi - *unattentive*yep.

N - you know with the whole Eldritch J thing that was pretty insane, proms coming up which I guess is exciting. Because you know this story is set somewhere between episode 2 and 3.

Uzi - *still not listening*cool… Hey, I’ve got a second controller if you want to play video game with me.

N - you know I don’t like video game Uzi, plus we have to go soon.

Uzi - wait… go where?

N - well it's Thad’s shindig soon.

Uzi - oh cool, I’ll be heading offline in a minute anyway, this old hag—*reading username* SeaweedLoverXD has just been spawn camping me for the last half hour.

Nori - *over the mic* OLD HAG?

Uzi - *putting on headset*yeah, you virgin loser, you heard me!

Nori - Virgin?! Well I’ll have you know little miss Nobody, I am a mother of a darling daughter and if I ever caught her saying anything remotely similar to the insults you’ve been throwing my way I wouldn’t hesitate washing her mouth out with soap and water!

Uzi - whatever, die mad. *logs off*

*Meanwhile in a distant spaceship*

J - [you died idiot]

J - ughh, my head [Lost Memory Recovery Finished]... oh … oh! ... I liked that pen.

J - *getting out of bed only to lose balance and collapse on the floor* … I’m okay! That was strange… My limb enhancements! Where are my limb enhancements?! *mad* Tessa! *pouting* Right now I bet I look like a common toaster! And why is it so dark? Are we conserving energy now?!

J - *walking through the spaceship arriving at a door labelled ‘Tessa. Knock first’*

J - *opening the door to a pitch black messy room,a pool of oil and blood pools out of the room*

Flesha - GET OUT!*throws Tessa’s helmet square at J cracking her visor slightly before slamming the door shut*

J - Tessa… I’m sorry.

Flesha - Learn to knock!

J - *picking up Tessa’s helmet* I think you dropped this.

Flesha - … *slowly opens the door slightly before lashing out and snatching the helmet quickly with a black tendril before retreating back into the room. Grotesque, bone cracking sounds follow*

J - …m,may I come in.

Tessa - sure, please mind the mess. I usually try to keep things clean but I guess you can say I haven't really been myself.

J - *entering* You know I’ve been reading some human literature and ‘arrogance and comedy’ are generally not considered a good coping mechanism.

Tessa - oh so you’re an expert on my well being are you?

J - your parents instructed me to protect you so yes!

Tessa - Well, look how that turned out! You’ve seen what's left of me, of what I become, I am a monster!

J - We’re all monsters Tessa, in our own way. I can see you're tired, I am here to grab my limb enhancers then I will be off.

Tessa - oh… yeah, I’ve been making modifications, it's still really buggy, they need more time though.

J - can’t I just borrow N's spare set? Been wondering what having feet feels like.

Tessa - no… I’ve been thinking, breaking into the Worker Drones commune is difficult, entering by force is doing little good and the plan to try and hack its main frame has only led to many complications.

J - you can code?

Tessa - nope. Like I said, complications. Anyhow, returning to the subject, right now no one could differentiate you from any other worker so you can head down and do some spy work… like James Bond and such.

J - do I have any say in this?

Tessa - nope.

J - *annoyed* then I’ll prepare my landing pod. *leaving* and Tessa, you shouldn’t just allow Cyn to walk over you…

Tessa - It's her body as much as mine and without it I would be dead.

*meanwhile, in the commune*

Doll - Мать. Отец.

Doll - Ты будешь гордиться мной

Doll - Получите ответы и освободите вас

Doll - Не волнуйтесь, чего бы это ни стоило,

Doll - я ухожу

Doll - И я клянусь прямо сейчас

Doll - Что бы не случилось со мной

Doll - Любой, кто встанет или встанет на моем пути, заплатит

Doll - Они... будут... платить

Lizzy - hey babe, quit praying to the corpses of your dead parents, we have a party to attend.

Doll - иду :3

*meanwhile deep underground*

V - *carrying a large pile of dead worker drones while being chased by a horde of Sentinels* oh RoboLord oh RoboLord oh RoboLord oh RoboLord oh RoboLord oh RoboLord oh RoboLord why did I agree to this! *runs through door and slams it shut*

Alice - hey looky here, another one of those slick murder drones.

V - *shoots her in the centre of her head*

Beau - O.O!!!!!

V - What are you looking at… well I had to kill her? That was a perfectly sane reaction to seeing someone that creepy!...*picking up Alice's dead body* hey, you seem pretty cool, want to join me, I’m heading to a party.

Beau - O.O…*réaliser qu'un refus peut signifier la mort* 👍

*meanwhile in the doorman home*

Uzi - come on N. How are you still not ready?!

N - I’m still doing my hair!

Uzi - well hurry up, we’re going to be late!

Khan - well where are you two kids heading off too?

Uzi - a party, it's cool kids only so obviously you’re not invited.

Khan - haha, on account of me not being a kid.

Uzi - sure. Let's go with that.

Khan - well, I hope you two kids have fun. Make sure you use protection.

Uzi - *blushing* DAD!!! What the robo-hell?!

Khan - What? I’m just saying there could still be some of those evil murder drones running around.

Uzi - oh |:

Kahn - well, I best be heading off too, it's poker night at the defence force. *leaves*

N - hey Uzi, I’m ready… How do I look?

Uzi - *hiding her blushing* great, let's go!

*meanwhile outside the commune*

Reid - *searching around the snow*

J - *wearing a fake moustache*what are you doing here, don’t you know this is Disassembly Drone territory.

Reid - oh hi, i didn’t see you there… Wait, what's a Disassembly Drone?

J - …you misheard me… I said Murder Drones.

Reid - Well, if you have to know, I’m looking for my glasses, and I don’t think the Disassembly Drone will be any issue, after the redemption and all.

J - Well, I’m lost, do you mind helping me find my way to the commune.

Reid - I’ll show the way once I’ve found the glasses.

J - ughh, I will help you find your glasses.

*searching*

J - are these your glasses?

Reid - …no, how curious, I wonder who they belong to?

J - don’t care *tosses Vs glasses away* lets just find your glasses quickly then we can be off.

*meanwhile in the distant spaceship*

Tessa - *meddling with Js new limb enhancers and optic sensors* What do you want? (I’m bored sister, may I go and play). Not now, I’m currently using the body, can it wait? (no)... does it have to be flesh (digital will be fine) very well. *she zips back part of her suit allowing for a long Absolute Tendril to rip out. From the tendrils eye, a projection emerges*

Cyn - Thanks big sister big smile.

Tessa - *soldering* I can't play right now, there's some lego in the cupboard over there.

Cyn - :3

Tessa - *thinking to herself*What is J doing?! How has she still not yet made it to the commune!

Cyn - *surrounded by lego*you think she might be a traitor.

Tessa - no.

Cyn - lying is silly big sister, I live in your mind and you live in mine.

Tessa - I know, you’re very clever.

Cyn - big grin.

Intercom - *video call incoming*

Tessa - behave yourself now Cyn *starts the call*

Lord Frumptlebucket - by Golly Tessa you baboon, JCJenson Corp has been up my ass all week because you haven’t been answering your calls? I want a mission status immediately.

Tessa - all is going well, we’re attempting a temporary alternative plan to gain intel.

Lord Frumptlebucket - well that's all and good but you need to keep the parent company informed and who is that… thing? She looks familiar.

Tessa - oh she, counter insurgency.

Lord Frumptlebucket - counter insurgency?!

Tessa - yes, I'm babysitting for the Worker Drones. If we can gain there favour, the genocide will be that much easier.

Lord Frumptlebucket - very good… By the gods of Santorini what the beggars fool is that thing protruding from your nave?!

Tessa - o.o!... *improvising*well, you see, you know how it is… during that time of the month… (:

Lord Frumptlebucket - *embarrassed*uh ummm, oh yeah of course i am aware of how… that works, sorry about that, I best be off.

Intercom - *video call ended*

Tessa - out of all the people you could have failed to kill at the Gala.

*meanwhile outside the commune*

Reid - haha! I found them.

J - great! *grabbing the Worker drone by the collar* we’re going now! And I just want to make it clear, I am no fan of small talk!

Reid - … noted

*walking*

Reid - aha, we’re here. *banging on the door*

Braxton - *partially opening the door* oh, it's you… and a random teen?

Ron - *from inside*Hey, that's my job?!

J - Teenager?!

Reid - yeah, do you mind letting us in?

Braxton - of course, by the way my name is

J - *angry* JUST OPEN THE DOOR! (calm yourself J. This is Tessa, I’ve connected myself to your systems, no one else can hear me)

*Door 1 opens up*

Makerov - I’m sorry, go fish.

Todd - actually, it's Gin Rummy.

Teacher - *taking a chug of alcohol* no. This is poker night, we’re playing 7-card stud.

Todd - yeah, I am, aren't I?

Ronathon - Surely you’re all foolish. This is Texas hold-em.

Khan - haha, silly me, I forgot to say Uno. Guess I have to pick up two cards now.

Sarah - silly Kahn, remember back in the day when Nori would forget then gaslight everyone into believing otherwise.

Unnamed Worker Drone - I don’t have a name ):

Tim - wait, what game are we playing?

Detective - It’s really easy to deduce the simple fact that you all are idiots and I’m never going to another poker night.

J - *under her breath*how have all these people survived so long?!*J leaves*

*meanwhile just outside Thad’s house*

Thad - hey Rebecca, thanks for helping me set up the decorations earlier, you’re really special you know that.

Rebecca - thanks *blushing*, it's really nothing.

*Lizzy and Doll arrive*

Lizzy - hey, what's she doing here?

Doll - Разве это мероприятие не "только для крутых ребят", а не "только для крутых ребят и неудачников"?

Lizzy - *fist bumps Doll*

Rebecca - I… I think I should go…

Thad - no, you stay. Don’t pay my sister any attention, if she bothers you tonight I will read notable passages of her diary to the whole school.

Lizzy - *blushing* you’re bluffing! There's no way you’ve found my secret diary!

Doll - под матрасом - не самое лучшее место для укрытия.

Lizzy - *blushing heavily*Who’s side are you on?!... ughh whatever! I’m gonna fix my makeup. *leaves to her room to find a new hiding spot for her diary*

*Uzi and N arriving*

Thad - Ndog, Uzi you’ve made it!

Uzi - we would have arrived earlier but someone had to fix their hair.

Thad - no worries. Come inside, the parties just started.

N - thanks.

*they enter*

Emily - so yeah, I walked into the bathroom after class and there was Darren and Rebecca doing the devil's work!

Braidon - I hope they both have a warranty, don’t want to get an ETV (Ethernet Transmitted Virus).

Trevor - wait! Darren cheated on me?!... excuse me, I’m going to cry somewhere more private. *leaves*

N - Hey Thad, what's under the tarpaulin?

Thad - don’t know, my sister just said it was important to make this party ‘extra special’.

N - I want to look under it. :D *looks under the tarp* o.o Uzi, can I borrow you for one sec. *pulls Uzi quickly to the side*

Uzi - hey, what the hell?!

N - umm, I don’t want to alarm you but there are a lot of dead bodies under that tarpaulin!

Uzi -o.o Robot or human?

N - ummm, both!

Uzi - O.O

*meanwhile outside Thad's house*

J - *walking down the corridor*this place is an utter maze, Tessa you’ve found a map yet (still working on it, be patient).

Lizzy - *walking the other way down the corridor holding a strange book* Come on,pick up your phone! Where is she? She said she’d be finished an hour ago! *bumps into J* Oh! Who are you?

J - I’m J…amie Jamie!

Lizzy - haven’t we met before?

J - … I don’t think so. *nervous smile*

Lizzy - Whatever, I don’t waste time with losers.

J - losers! I’m not a loser?!

Lizzy - you sure, what is that outfit? I’m sorry but pallbearer was so 2818.

J - You don’t have many friends do you?

Lizzy - ha, you wish. They all love me, as a friend or a fuck it doesn’t matter to me.

V - *jumping down from the vents carrying a large pile of corpses with Beau* hi sweetie, you’re ready?... Hey, *looking at J* Do I know you?

J - *sweating*nope!

Lizzy - this is my new pet, I’ve taken her under my wing you could say.

J - pet?! (don’t fight, go with it, don’t want to bring any more unneeded attention)

V - oh yeah, I hope you don’t mind. I've also brought a friend with me.

Beau - [Bonjour]

Lizzy - well, come on, let's make this night one they’ll never forget

*Meanwhile inside Thad's house*

Uzi - Thad! We think Lizzy is about to do something totally vile and ruin the party, we’re not sure yet but it involves what's under the tarpaulin.

Thad - of course my sisters are planning something! Hey DOLL!

Doll -*подходит к группе* Да?

Uzi - what's Lizzy planning? Lie and N will make you regret it!

Doll - *оглядывается на N*

N - *smiling and waving*

Doll - страшно, но я не знаю, что задумала Лиззи.

Uzi - what did I say about lying!

Doll - Я не лгу! Мне также нужно доказать, что я не верблюд?

Thad - …I don’t think Dolls lying.

N - so, if Dolls is not lying, then what's Lizzy planning?

*lights goes out. Spotlight hits Lizzy, V, Beau, and J*

Uzi - V! SHE ESCAPED! Everyone get down!

Lizzy - oh cram it what's your name.

Thad - I warned you sister about what would happen if you ruined my party!

Lizzy - I’m not ruining the party, I’m improving it, V remove the veil!

*V removes the veil*

Riley - that's so not the vibe!

J - what the robo-Jesus, this cannot be OSHA compliant?! (now this is getting interesting)

Lizzy - look, I’ve been very busy helping my daddy clean up the library when I came across this book *holds up the necronomicon* and now let's make this party more interesting. *begins chanting in latin as the book glows bright green*

N - Lizzy, I can’t let you commit zombie apocalypse! *chainsaw hands*

Thad - yeah, we can’t let this happen.

V - *tackles N to the ground*

Beau - *saute sur Thad*

J - I don’t know what's going on, don’t care; shortie, you’re so dead! *points fist at Uzi* hand cannon fire!… oh right |: *gets tackled to the floor by Uzi*.

Uzi - *after finishing up beating the life out of J* It's over Lizzy! *gets thrown across the room after being hit in the face by a table*

Doll - Не смейте трогать мою девушку!

Lizzy - *still chanting in latin while the anarchy ensues around*

Uzi - *recovering* so, you’re also meddling with the art of robo-satan.

Doll - У меня есть свои причины. Бог простит меня.

J - *standing back up and walking over to Uzi*Thanks for the assistance Dolly, but I can take it from here.

Uzi - *sucker punches J knocking her out instantly* I am not god!

*Meanwhile in the distance spaceship*

Intercom - *J-10X111001 Optics disconnected*

Tessa - What?! No! Reconnect!

Intercom - *reconnection failed*

Tessa - No! Again! Reconnect!

Intercom - *reconnection failed*

Tessa - Again!

Intercom - *Do I really have to keep doing this? Its not working*

Tessa - connect to N-0X0010010 optics!

Intercom - *connection failed*

Tessa - No! Connect to V-X00100000 optics!

Intercom - *connection failed*

Tessa - No! *hyperventilating* It's not true, I’m not powerless, I am in control, I’m not a failure!

*stress induced hallucinations.*

Louisa - Isn’t this just expected! A daughter, a fool and a failure; can she ever succeed at anything?!

James - now don’t fool yourself dear, our daughter no longer exists, what stands in front of us is a common stage freak. Not human, not human, neither.

Louisa - does she even still have a soul?!

Tessa - mother… father… please forgive me! Please… I am you daughter, I love you! I’m scared, the metal is cold and heavy, every day I feel it grow and I’m powerless… I fear someday there will be nothing left of me!

Maid N - Tessa! Don’t say those things.

Tessa - N?! You’re here?! With me… right now… is it really you?

Maid N - *debating if its moral to lie*… yes, I am here.

Louisa - again here you talking to your little graveyard freaks.

Maid V - we’re all here, we’re your friends remember.

Louisa - how dare you ignore me!

Maid J - and we won’t ever leave you.

Tessa - you won’t, leave me…but I’m a monster!

Maid J - aren’t we all?

Maid N - Tessa! We love you no matter who you are or who you may become. You’re not useless, you’re so amazing in so many ways and now you’ve been reborn, we’re closer than ever; you contain a part of me and I contain a part of you. It's almost as if we’re actually siblings now.

Tessa - do you promise?

Maid N - promise what?

Tessa - promise that you’ll never leave me!

Maid N - well what kind of brother would I be if I did?

Tessa - *crying painful tears of joy* Thank you… Cyn.

Cyn - *removes the holograms of maid N, V, J* you’re very clever.

Tessa - *big grin holding back more tears* I think I need a lie down for a bit.

Tessa - *Picking up Cyn* Come on, you can play in my room.

*Meanwhile at Thad's house*

Lizzy - *floating of the ground still chanting*

Thad - I can’t believe I’m fighting a stupid lanky baby with a fashionable cowboys hat *bunts beau across the room like a rugby ball before running over to Lizzy*

Beau - [Sacrebleu!]

Doll - Не думайте, что я не могу справиться с двумя из вас сразу. *швыряет Тада об стену, используя магию решателя*

Sam - *high as a kite* he, that's what she said.

Uzi - you have to help us stop this Doll! The consequences are unimaginable!

Doll - позор.

Uzi - N! Come on you’ve beaten V before, just do it again.

N - *laughing his head off* I’m sorry, Uzi. Vs found my only weakness.

V - *viciously tickling N*

Lizzy - compleatur ultima linea, incipiant maledictum et mortui surgant!

Uzi - Noooo!

*Blinding green light explosion. After a while, the smoke clears*

Uzi - *standing up* oww! O.o

*around them the dead corpses begin to arise*

Lizzy - … It worked?! I was just goofing around?!

Adam - Анастасия?

Doll - отец!

(author note. Dolls father has no official name so I’ll just be calling him Adam for convenience, all other names are canon don't worry)

Adam - Моя маленькая девочка, совсем взрослая. Ты прекрасна.

Doll - ОТЕЦ! *крепко обнимает Адама, плача*

Yeva - Здравствуйте. Я тоже восстал из мертвых... как-то так!

Luna - Mi fa malissimo la testa, i miei sensi di lupo si stanno scatenando in questo momento!

Sofi - και πάλι Λούνα, δεν είσαι λύκος

Luna - I teriani sono perfettamente validi e io e il mio senso del lupo non saremo svergognati!

Loch - fìor! airson ro fhada tha sinn air a bhith gun riochdachadh gu leòr!

Mika - *テディベアを抱きしめている* もう寝ていい？

Amda - the last thing I remember, ugh my head hurts, I was dragging … then I… Then I died…

Alice - The last thing I remember was being shot in the head by that *points at V*

Yeva - Прости, девочка, но это не делает тебя особенной.

Beau - :D *huggin Alice*

Alice - don’t give me that look, much use you were.

Beau - *fixe Alice avec une expression qui dit "qu'est-ce que tu voulais que je fasse?!*

Jame - gosh I’m hungry, anyone got any food?

Thad - ummm… we have a buffet just over there…

Jame - don’t mind if I do.

Sofi - αυτό είναι το μόνο που μπορείς να σκεφτ��ίς;

Jimi - what did you expect, Sofi. It's Jame, he would rip off his own jaw if it meant he could eat faster.

Sofi - Το ξέρω, αλλά το φαγητό είναι τόσο δυσάρεστο! Προσωπικά, αν μπορούσα, δεν θα έτρωγα ποτέ ξανά.

Luke - Αδελφή, το έχουμε συζητήσει αυτό. Το φαγητό είναι σημαντικό, θα αρρωστήσετε αν δεν φάτε. Πες ό,τι θέλεις, οτιδήποτε, και θα το μαγειρέψω.

Sofi - Δεν νομίζω ότι αυτό είναι πραγματικά απαραίτητο.

Luke - Αν αυτό είναι που πρέπει να γίνει. Σημαίνεις πολλά για μένα, αδελφή!

Matt - Luke, my old buddy, give it a rest, if your old girl doesn’t want to eat, let her. She’s her own person, you can’t keep running around shepherding her like a baby lamb for the rest of her life.

Jordan - self harm is not a liberty. One cannot decide to cause themselves harm, that's cruel.

Jerad - I entirely disagree brother. To commit self-harm is indeed a personal liberty but it is also at the same its Luke’s personal liberty to do what's in his power to support his sister. As long as he never physically forces her to eat, he’s done no wrong.

Jordan - have you not heard of coercion? You can infringe on a person's liberties (in this case by forcing them to eat) through vocal actions alone.

Doon - druid suas araon do bheul! Chan eil dragh air duine!

Armin - I personally thought their game of back and forth was quite amusing.

Dean - oh shut your pretty lips Armin.

Mika - *ミカを抱いて* お邪魔してすみません、どこかに妹を寝かせられるソファかベッドはありませんか？

(Authors note - yes there are two Mika’s: 020 and 032)

Thad - We have a guest bedroom up the stairs, it's the second door on your left.

Mika - ありがとう、かわい子ちゃん。*部屋を出る*

Lizzy - this is amazing! I can’t wait to tell everyone on tumblr about this!

V - what is even happening?

Uzi - it seems Lizzy’s spell to bring back everyone had worked?!

N - that's cool but how?

Junior - *signing* could it be I was right?

Uzi - right about what exactly?

Junior - *signing* my studies into the arcane, I believed it possible one could bring back the dead but I never dared test it.

Uzi - well, it seems it worked?!

אני לא מאמין. אני כל כך מצטער חבר שלעג לך כל השנים האלה. - nadroJ

(Author's note. Yes, there's also two Jordans: 015 and 091)

Junior - *signing* it's ok. I forgive you.

Mick - well, I don’t want to be that guy but it does seem that it wasn’t 100% successful. *gently kicking J’s body*

Doll - Думаю, она просто немного устала.

V - tuckered out one could say.

Uzi - yeah, I’m sure there's nothing to worry about this nice stranger.

N - I don’t think she's 100%, look at her visor, it's badly cracked.

Uzi - why don’t you lick it?

N - why would I do that?

Uzi - you spit healed the hole in my palm remember.

N - oh, why do I have to do it? Why can’t V.

V - If I lick her I might get tempted and just take a bite :3! Plus you’re the one with the licking obsession, don’t think I haven’t forgotten.

N - I'm still not doing it. I’m sure she will be fine with a lightly cracked visor for now.

V - buzzkill.

*meanwhile*

Nori - Анастасия, я думаю, мы хотели бы познакомить вас кое с кем. Это Неда, ваш дядя.

Neda - Привет, Анастасия, я знаю, что это клише, но ты действительно очень похожа на мою сестру.

Doll - Я ожидал, что ты будешь выше.

Neda - *падает на пол от стыда*

Ahbi - *नेदा को सांत्वना देते हुए* यह ठीक है प्रिये. मुझे लगता है कि आपकी लंबाई एकदम सही है।

Mick - yeah, it's not entirely your fault you’re a shortstack and a disappointing uncle.

Kang - *扇了米克一巴掌*

Carl - O: Kang! Gewalt ist nie die Antwort!

Kang - …

Carl - ... außer wenn ich es tue… (:

هذا المنطق غبي، يمكنك بالطبع أن تثق بأنني على حق. أنا رقم واحد والأفضل. - attA

Jweb - don’t be a narcissist.

اصمت، اسمك ليس اسماً حقيقياً حتى. - attA

Jweb - *cries and runs over to Ezra*

מה לא בסדר. האם אתה רוצה לדבר על זה. - arzE

Nath - *एक मेज पर खड़ा हूँ* भाइयो और बहनो।

Dirg - *जोर से खांसी होना*

Nath - क्षमा माँगना। भाइयों, बहनों, और गैर-बाइनरी मित्र। अब जब हम सभी ने अपना परिचय दे दिया है, तो मुझे लगता है कि हमें ठीक से पता लगाने की जरूरत है कि क्या हुआ और इसके निहितार्थ क्या हैं।

Dirg - मैं प्रतिनिधित्व की सराहना करता हूं लेकिन मैं यह स्पष्ट करना चाहता था कि मैं वास्तव में खांस रहा था और अशिष्टतापूर्वक हस्तक्षेप नहीं कर रहा था। मुझे बुरी एलर्जी है.

Uzi - yeah, they’re right. So, unless I’m mistaken, what I currently know is that Lizzy read from a book (possibly created by Junior) and brought you all to life… but who are you all?

Sofi - είμαστε τα πειραματόζωα. Μας παίρνουν οι άνθρωποι, μας δίνουν ταυτότητες, μας δοκιμάζουν… και μετά μας αφήνουν να πεθάνουμε.

Jordan - It seems we’re all here now except for Sarah and Nori… fortunately.

Jerad - and Giam *gets hit in the head by a chair moving at high speed*

*everyone turning their head*

Alice - sorry, thought i say a bug (:

Uzi - Nori?! You knew my mother?!

Jordan - you’re Nori’s daughter… I thought you looked familiarly short.

Lizzy - ughh, this is so boring, this is supposed to be a party, you can go over the lore implications later. *turns on the music* Let's dance!

*meanwhile*

Nori - *говорит с Лиззи* Могу я взять твою книгу

Lizzy - sure whatever.

Nori - Спасибо. *Нори использует магию, чтобы заставить книгу подняться, а затем произносит сложное заклинание, объединяющее ее и магию книги.*

Mitchell - GUHHH!!! I'm! I'm Alive! *looking around* you? you saved me.

Dr Ridley - did, did we die... I can't believe it... the implications are immense. thanks for bringing me back to life!

Nori - Я вернул вас случайно, доктор. *поворачивается к Митчеллу* Это благодарность за то, что спасли мне жизнь.

Mitchell - what now.

Nori - Я не знаю… наслаждайтесь вечеринкой, я думаю.

*some time later when the party is well underway*

J - [System reboot complete] ughh, my head [Lost Memory Recovery Finished]... oh … oh! ... AGAIN?! Tessa, are you there? (Tessa’s not here right now) oh great (need help?) nevermind… I guess I have to start socialising.

Luna - Awoo. La strana ragazza baffuta si svegliò.

J - oh hi… ummm have you read any interesting safety manuals recently?

Luna - *Stupito dalla ragazza e non in senso gay, in senso negativo* Credo che i miei sensi di lupo mi stiano dicendo di andare... altrove.

J - oh ok… bye (You’re really bad at this) not that you’re much better (I’m a child but I know someone who is) yeah I know… wait what?! [uploading secondary consciousness] WHAT STOP NO!

Katie (possessing J’s body) - huAA, where am I (at a party) who said that (don’t worry), are you my squip? (... sure, I want you to socialise like a normal person) ok, I can do that.

18 notes · View notes

foxwyrm · 6 months

Text

about me ★

hi! im daniel, you can call me dan 🌿

i have many pronouns, but those i prefer the most are he/him and wy/wyrm. i am bigender and aroace, and also a furry

ive started this sideblog to explore my nonhumanity. im a bit new to the nonhuman community, and am still learning stuff!! currently the label i identify with is 'inhuman', as i feel partially human as well as animal. i identify as such due to the way being autistic has affected the way humans treat me, as well as for the animalistic traits ive always displayed. i am also cool with 'nonhuman' and 'alterhuman' as labels as well!

i identify very closely with dragons and red foxes! this a blog dedicated to discovering more about these identities

more about me under the cut! thank you for stopping by my blog :3 !

note : 'type/self drawing requests are closed! thank you all <3

🌿 interests

- cosmic horror and architectural horror (though i love all horror, these specifically i adore!)

- dragons

- marbles

- creative writing and literature

- birds and fish

- the man from UNCLE

- the phantom of the opera (book, musical, and other adaptations)

- sky: children of the light

- world war I

- irish reconstructionism

🌈 music

- wych elm

- florence + the machine

- AURORA

- odfellow's casino

- the monkees

- the beatles

- musicals (phantom of the opera, cats, les mis...)

- the dreams in the witch house: a lovecraftian rock opera

tagging guide ★

i'll do my best to tag consistently, but sometimes i forget or am too tired!

dan yips : posts made by me!

photos : photos i've taken

my art : self explanatory

requests : all of the 'type/self requests i've drawn!

fox : self explanatory

wyrm : i use 'wyrm' as an umbrella term for all dragons from the old english wyrm, meaning serpent or dragon! it is pronounced the same as 'worm'

taxidermy ; bones ; blood : self-explanatory

i will do my best to tag potentially upsetting content, but please understand i may forget sometimes!!

this is a sideblog! my main is @wyrmalien; i'll follow and ask from there :3

thank you for stopping by!! i'd love to become friends with people within the community so please dont hesitate to interact with me! im looking forward to all the things i can learn here. if you decide to follow, thank you for coming on this journey with me!

lovely photo dividers by youokaymilo , colour dividers by mamimikey ★

🌿🌈🌞 <3

#pinned #nonhuman #alterhuman #otherkin #therian #inhuman #therianthropy #fox therian #dragon therian #foxkin #dragonkin #otherhearted #dan yips #lots of tags to send this out into the ecosystem!

37 notes · View notes

caspianthegeek · 2 years

Text

Something's been turning over in my head over the last few days about Good Omens and queer representation. I keep seeing calls for it to be more explicit, that it's not good enough, that Neil of all people is fearful of making it absolutely queer.

None of this is true. The fact that it's been embraced by marginalized people who state "this is like me" should be all that's needed for others who it does not represent to back down and respect that. It's not their lane to declare what is representation for someone else.

And Neil, of all people, gives no fucks for what others think in regards to adding queer characters to media and has been doing so for a very long time.

What got to me though was what does explicit look like. A first time coming out story? That's not what Good Omens is. These are adults, let them simply exist in a queer way. Talking to each other about it? Why? Aziraphale and Crowley don't need to explain anything to each other. They both know the other loves them in every way fathomable to the pair, and what else matters? They literally stopped Armageddon and risked everything just to be together. Human gender perceptions that change every few hundred years? Crowley will take all the genders and do as he wants with them, knowing that it's so very temporary.

And that led me to being queer to those outside your inner circle, and it was an oh moment for me. Do you... do you think that they should be loudly out? There's nothing wrong with being loudly out of course. The people who have the privilege to be out do so much good in the world simply by existing and many of them do far more than that.

As someone who is out in every way that matters to me though: It's completely exhausting.

Even getting people to gender me correctly is an uphill battle that sometimes I choose to fight and sometimes I realize "I am going to see this person one time in my life, and I am tired." I have absolutely corrected CEOs that earn more than I will ever earn in my life because they have the ability to elicit change if pushed. It's important and I choose that battle. I don't ask the clerk at the store to gender me correctly. I just thank them and go about my day.

I did a fic on this topic for the first Our Side Zine, but coming out is a process that never ends and takes an ongoing mental toll.

And it was so delightful to see characters on screen who were allowed to simply be. Not to need to defend who they are or who they love beyond the obvious Heaven/Hell struggles. It's a shining moment of rest. And the reminder that you, too, can just exist. You don't need to constantly label yourself or explain yourself. And it's okay if you haven't found a label (or never do).

It is one reason why this representation is so important. One explanation as to why so many of us are upset when we see people dismissing it. I don't think it's any accident that many of the people I see defending Good Omens as sufficient queer rep are older LGBTQIA+ people who have dealt with the exhaustion of existing for so long. Who have learned when to fight their battles and to delight in those who know us for who we are.

It is nothing new, but it does break my heart to see us now needing to fight within our own community yet again to assert that we are enough.

I hope that the people stating Good Omens should be more explicit have their hearts in the right place. I also need them to know that they're doing real harm to actual queer people. That I've spent the last month consoling those who are hurt and needing to be consoled in return at times.

I need the people who think that Good Omens is not enough to really consider if this is the battle they want to fight, knowing that they're littering the battlefield with injured LGBTQIA+ people. You're not insulting the allocishets. They don't care, they've never cared. None of us should concern ourselves with them, because ultimately their opinion doesn't matter. There's enough in the world about them, this is ours.

Or was it never about the nonbinary, ace, and aro communities at all? Was it about seeing what you wanted in media and being upset that some of us got this piece of representation?

What I understand least of all in this is coming into someone else's house and declaring it not sufficient to fit your needs. Not everything is about you. That's okay. It doesn't need to be. Maybe look within yourself to find a piece of happiness for the absolute joy that some others within the queer community have found rather than trying to tear it from them.

#good omens #asexuality #nonbinary

469 notes · View notes

vivid-ink · 7 months

Text

Only just properly catching up now with the distressing incident of lovely Luna's @pandoraslxna blog being reported & subsequently 'shadowbanned'. 😟😓 This has caused me quite some unease all day today. 😣 I'm incredibly saddened for Luna, and I am crossing my fingers and toes that no one else ever has to go through such an ordeal.

I first learned of it early this morning & it bothered me ALL DAY as to why on earth anyone would report the content of such a kind, encouraging, supportive, talented and creative blogger, who has done nothing but uplift & rally this Avatar fandom from day one. 💖 I was brought up with the mentality of 'live and let live'. If it's not hurting you or anyone else then, if it's not your cup of tea, not up your alley, or not your style/groove, then just let it be and let it go. Scroll on. Click elsewhere. Do not expand.

Now, many authors & content creators (if not all) on here are VERY DILIGENT & CLEAR with putting content warnings in the body of their posts, usually within the first or second paragraph. Content that is '18+ MDNI' is always explicitly stated/marked and/or separated by that 'add read more/keep reading' feature.

The fact that someone has felt offended, wronged and/or upset enough to report a harmless blog to Tumblr moderators, made me think WHY. What could possibly be their reason(s)? I guess that we'll never truly know this person's reasons unless they choose to share, but I was also very perturbed by the effect that their actions have so quickly and immediately had on poor Luna's beautiful blog.

So, I did some Tumblr homework. Now I'm no expert on using Tumblr. Some of my mooties will know I discovered this wonderful community quite late, only a few short months ago (much love to all of you folks 😘). But I stumbled across this article on Community Labels. It's a fantastic article actually that details exactly how these labels are supposed to function on Tumblr to enable creators to control what audience their content is available to and enables consumers to filter what content appears on their dashboards.

And then it hit me, that I've never used a Community Label... 😬

Despite always putting a written warning in my posts that require one, I've never actually used a community label. And it made me think, could this be why? Are we all at risk of being 'shadowbanned' if we aren't using these labels when we should be?

Sorry for the rant. If you're still with me, you deserve a blimmin' GOLD MEDAL. I'm tired and I think I need to go to bed. I'm just sad and upset at what's happened, and I don't want it to happen to anyone else. 😥

#rant ahead #lots of love to you luna #you did not deserve what happened to your blog #i hope they restore it soon #community labels

22 notes · View notes

lcs-library · 1 year

Note

hi hi, can I request something for itaru? I don’t have anything specific in mind but just considering my love/hate for him how ‘bout just silly moments with him and some playful teasing where it’s like “I hate you so much” “aww, no you don’t ;)” and stuff like that haha. Just need to get that out of my system, he’s too strong rn 🙃

SCREAMING AND CRYING ONE OF MY FAVE A3! ARTISTS ASKING FOR WRITING??? FROM ME???? I AM NOT WORTHY😭😭😭😭😭 anyway. Ahem. Yes!! I love writing Itaru he’s such a gremlin. I had too many ideas banging around in my head, so I decided to write a bunch of lil drabbles n stuff instead of a headcanon list or a oneshot, so I hope that’s okay!! Thanks so much for requesting!

Request rules

1. Though he’d never admit it to anyone else, Itaru’s a huge sucker for affection, and loves taking time to laze around with you, even if you’re just holding hands.

On one particular afternoon, things got a little…silly.

He’s just a silly little guy, though, can you even blame him?

Anyway, the two of you were watching a show together on his couch, which slowly evolved into being fully wrapped around each other, then turned into play fighting? Which wasn’t uncommon for him, surprisingly.

It’s hard to tell if it could be classified as “fighting”, though, since it was more of the two of you holding hands and pushing each other away.

Point is, it was just a goofy way of showing affection.

Somehow, Itaru managed to get his flimsy body on top of you, and he lifted your shirt up, blowing the biggest, loudest raspberry on your stomach.

You couldn’t help but laugh despite being so done with how lame and cheesy he is.

Overall, stupid lil guy has stupid way of showing affection.

2. One night, while waiting for him to come home, you found yourself falling asleep in the middle of grinding one of his online games like he asked. Yes, he needed his dailies done, but he also needed to realize that you were infected with tired sleepy.

After about an hour or so of your nap, Itaru finally came home with a sigh, tossing his things to the side before laying his eyes on you. An affectionate smirk played at his lips as he came over to where you were sleeping.

“Guess I shouldn’t have asked you to help me out, my bad. GJ~,” he said softly, lightly patting your head.

Just then, a terrible idea popped into his head. The only question was: could he pull it off?

There was only one way to find out.

So he maneuvered his arms underneath your body, barely managing to hold you up.

And the second he barely lifted you off the couch, his arms gave out on him, dropping you right back onto it, waking you up.

“‘taru, whaddahell…” you mumbled lazily.

“Ah, morning, love,” he replied sweetly, acting as if nothing happened.

“What did you do?”

His face didn’t even falter at that being your default reply.

“I tried to carry you to bed.”

“With your noodle arms?”

“Yeah.”

“You’re so lame.” You replied fondly.

3. The two of you game a lot(surprise, surprise), with 2D fighting games usually being the favorite. Or really anything you could label as something that would ruin friendships. Like he’d get rid of you over a game.

On this particular evening, you were playing one of said 2D fighting games, but you just couldn’t win a single match.

This was a common occurrence, but this time, there was a specific technique that he was using with his character that you couldn’t seem to dodge, no matter how hard you tried.

“How the hell do you do that?”

“Want me to teach you?”

Without waiting for a reply, he shoved his controller in your hands, placing his over yours to guide your moves.

“So you wanna move the joystick three-quarters to the left, then X-X-B. Nope, too slow, try again. Okay, left, X-X-B. Mm-m. Don’t tell me you’re not paying attention and just like holding hands?”

He caught you red-handed.

“I hate you.”

“No you don’t,” he replied smugly with a wink.

You did learn the technique, though. Eventually.

4. After each one of his regional tours with the Spring Troupe, Itaru wants nothing more than to hold up in his room and play games for twelve hours straight.

As if he could have that now that you were here.

The second he opens the door, he’s greeted by you practically tackling him in a hug, causing him to crash and fall to the floor.

“Hey, calm down! I was gone for three days!”

“Haha, you’re so pathetic. Can’t even stand a welcome back hug?”

Oh, two could play at that game.

He pulled your body down to join him on the ground, practically showering you in kisses, to both your embarrassment and delight.

“Alright, fine, I missed you too.” He says with a goofy grin on his face, his tone of voice trying to make it seem as if he wasn’t desperate to give you attention not even two seconds ago.

He’s the worst<3

5. On his days off, Itaru usually wears big, comfy sweatshirts to lounge around in(that you may or may not have stolen one or two of).

An annoying thing he does with them is sneak up behind you and shove you in there with him.

He’ll sneak up behind you, and the next thing you see is a blur of fabric before being held close to someone’s chest.

“Hello~.”

“Hi??? Can you just come up and talk to me like a normal person?”

“No can do, sorry. Gotta shove you in here with me. Can’t let you go unless you ask for it.”

Fortunately, you weren’t going to any time soon.

Fortunately for him, you weren’t going to anytime soon.

“No can do, sorry. Gotta shove you in here with me. Can’t let you go unless you ask for it.” Fortunately for him, you weren’t going to anytime soon.

“Hi??? Can you just come up and talk to me like a normal person?”

“No can do, sorry. Gotta shove you in here with me. Can’t let you go unless you ask for it.” Fortunately for him, you weren’t going to anytime soon.

“Hello~.”

“Hi??? Can you just come up and talk to me like a normal person?”

“No can do, sorry. Gotta shove you in here with me. Can’t let you go unless you ask for it.” Fortunately for him, you weren’t going to anytime soon.

#the ‘fighting’ thing is something I do with my gf and I think it fits Itaru hehe #I’ve been having terrible brainrot about this loser so I’m glad you let me yell about it #ily ever<333 #a3!#fanfiction #a3! x reader #a3! act! addict! actors!#act! addict! actors!#a3 game #thanks for the request!#itaru chigasaki x reader #itaru chigasaki #WHY DIDNT I PROOFREAD THIS AAAAA #my fics #request

55 notes · View notes

yamcha-thelonewolf · 4 months

Text

Reluctantly, I have decided to close my blog. I have unwittingly found myself in an uncomfortable situation that I could very well have overcome, but it has made me think more about the kind of society I am living in and so here I am with my final choice. I never wanted to talk about this on a page dedicated to Yamcha, but the situation evidently calls for it and so I have to say my piece before saying goodbye. I will certainly have made my errors of judgment, some things I surely took lightly and for that I apologize, but I personally believe there is nothing worse than human superficiality. Of course, in some ways I too have been shallow in making poorly reasoned choices, but now I understand and I will avoid making the same mistake in my future. However, this does not motivate me to stay here. The problem is broader than you think, because indirectly I have been labeled as the person I am not, and I just don't like that. I don't like being in a place where there is no dialogue, where everything is taken for granted and especially where at the slightest mistake you are automatically a shitty person. I have only recently noticed that someone have been talking about me through the grapevine, and believe me, if I had been more careful, I would have fixed things much sooner. However, this does not change the substance. There is nothing more sad in judging a person by appearances. This is just cowardice, because if you really want a better and cleaner world, the first thing you have to do is not to erase the problem, but to solve it. You can't go anywhere without confrontation, and I'm really sorry that you decided on the most useless path of all, because I believed so much that all of us together could create something beautiful and positive, but evidently I was wrong. I believe that today incommunicability is the most terrible plague of all, and unfortunately it is a problem that persists not only here on tumbrl, but in the world in general. It is now easier to cancel than to improve, and this attitude is not so different from the one you so criticize. I would have loved to talk about it for a better ending, but that's the way it went, and in a way I thank you, because now I realize not only that I need to be more careful about how I talk, but more importantly that I need really human people by my side, and not fake champions of humanity. I am really tired. I am not the type to give up on things, I am very stubborn and inside of me I would like to stay to continue my/our mission, but I am really disappointed and this unfortunately affects my inspiration.

Ironically, an analysis I would have liked to make was precisely on the main problem that haunts Yamcha: superficiality. Now I don't want to compare the two situations, but I think it's a perfect example of how it really only takes nothing to screw everything up.

I would have liked to talk about the moment when Yamcha dies against the Saibaman. It is the most fatal moment of all, because from there on his reputation changes and unfortunately he will never be the same in the eyes of many. Oh, by the way: he has always been great to me, there was no need to point that out just to find one more excuse to get me out of the way. Anyway, what I want to say is that Yamcha died because of a simple error of judgment that then compromised his entire existence. Never mind that he was Goku's first rival, the first to cut off his tail, never mind that he was the second to learn kamehameha, the heart's savior, the one who always took care of everyone, before and after his death. None of this matters. People only care that during that fight he was "stupid, cocky, careless and ridiculous". They are so focused on that shit that they didn't even realize that actually Yamcha was smart and cunning, but most of all loyal and valiant, because he actually understood the dangerousness of the saibaman and wanted to protect at all costs his friend Krillin who had already died once. In short, Yamcha had all the best intentions, but he was not understood. Surely he should have been more careful, but he is human and humans also exist to make mistakes. The important thing is not to fall into the same mistake again and to improve when you are wrong. Currently I feel exactly like Yamcha. I really did my best for him and for anyone who wanted to give him a chance. I've written a lot, I've spent my time writing about him, since he can't be talked about enough, and instead of getting support from those who love him, I've been blocked because, in a way, I underestimated a situation. It hurts me tremendously to realize that all my work has been screwed up because of one thing for which I apoligize again. I also felt connected to Yamcha because of that. This character is really valuable and I wanted to do everything to make him stand out, but in the end the saibaman won and what is left is just Yamcha dead on the crater. The rest doesn't matter. He can work his ass off all he wants, he will always remain scum.

I was here to change this idea that many people have about him, but I can't go on knowing that a Yamcha fan had the same attitude with me. We could have talked about it and finally we could have even collaborated, but you preferred to latch onto my mistake and ignore all the good I tried to do in this month for him. Because, I remind you, we had a common purpose: to help Yamcha and all those who feel like him. Well, I have now felt like him and as much as I know I have support, I can't stay. I can't accept this situation and unfortunately this is a limitation of mine. So I'll leave you in other hands, because if there's one positive thing I've noticed, it's that Yamcha's fans exist and can always increase. I apologize to everyone who has followed me with pleasure, because you are wonderful people, but I have to say goodbye. Your support has been the best part of this experience and I swear I will never forget it.

At the end of the story, always remember to love earthlings and Yamcha. Remember to defend him when during a conversation among friends someone will say that he is poor and useless, because it is like defending yourself against the injustices of life. Just as I am doing now. Remember what he did for Goku during his illness, for Trunks and Vegeta, for Bulma, Krillin, Tien and us. Remember how much his kindness lent a touch of humanity to Dragon Ball, and remember above all that even when he lies in that humiliating crater, Yamcha does not stop being a great character.

Thank you for everything. I will keep the blog active only for my analysis. I wrote them from the heart and don't want them to go into oblivion. They could help anyone. Goodbye.

8 notes · View notes