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artheresy · 2 months

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An argument over whether or not Dan Heng is Dan Feng seems to have begun getting sparked again in certain parts of the Fandom and it does nothing but hurt my head to no end

Both sides cherrypicking or treating it like a strange situation, making false equivalents. "Yknow governments don't consider people who've lost their memories to be separate people" that's a flawed argument to use in favorite of DH = DF because it's not just he lost his memories. He literally grew up, experienced his own childhood, had a whole identity cultivated based on those experiences and that life and continues to live his own life. To treat the situation like it's just him getting a bit of amnesia is wild to me

But also I hate when people continue to insist he's running from Dan Feng and his past and how he's miserable and shouldn't ever confront the past and deal with it as if his and Blade's whole stories aren't centered around rebirth and karma, paying for your past life's karma. He needed to confront the past to ensure a freer future! He literally has!! And he will continue to do so because he realizes this, DH isn't dumb and he's grown since we first saw him. He understands

But yeah uh I'm so tired

This whole thing feels very Ship of Theseus. What makes the ship what it is, the physical aspects of its planks, its sailing history, or both?

For him, the question is what makes someone who they are? Is it the body that makes them up and any inherent genetic factors (like traits)? Is it their experiences, how they've grown up, and the identity they've developed in that time? Or is it both factors mixed together?

Personally in the case of Dan Heng, I think it's both! Yeah he has a lot of traits from Dan Feng. There's a lot inherently there. But we can't disregard his own experiences and the identity that has formed based on his history and what he's seen.

Again I can't stress this enough... It is a false equivalent to compare him to people who lose their memories or get amnesia, he didn't just lose those memories. He started life from the beginning, a whole different kind of life. And even then, the amnesia topic comes with its own debates. Isn't there a whole other thought experiment regarding someone put to trial who ends up with amnesia and what their verdict should be?

I guess in the end, it's all up to people's own philosophical beliefs after what constitutes a person. My personal belief that DH and DF will always be connect but the separation between them is also meaningful is something based on my own ideas of what consisitutes a person and their individual identity, similar situation with how I see Rukkhadevata and Nahida as connected but still not the same person exactly. At the end of the day again, it's personal beliefs

But what I can't stand and can't stand by, is someone acting all high and mighty like they're perfectly right and everyone else is wrong, especially when they're cherrypicking or not holding all their evidence to the same standard. According to some ppl, apparently it's better in the CN fandom where instead of treating it like "I'm right you're wrong" people have divided themselves into "DF and DH one person" and "DF and DH two people" groups and most importantly of all, they treat both like theories and just keep to their space and tag which they believe when it's relevant. Why can't we just do that? Why can't we follow in their footsteps instead of bringing up this argument every so often with the same tired flaws from both sides?

#Lore discussion in this community can be so tiring #I wish more people would be open to their viewpoint being challenged instead of believing they can never ever be wrong #And seeing people throw out wild accusations #Like someone saying people are transphobic if they believe dh is df like what?#I get it if you identity with dh and read it as a trans narrative personally even if I dont #Doesn't mean you can call people transphobic over it #I dunno I'm tired #Everything I see this topic I get mad #“He says you're my past in the ichor of two dragons!!”#He also says right after “But you won't follow me into my future” so your point is?#Additionally if we're being 100% real that animation feels like it's less about his rejection and eventual acceptance of DF specifically #It feels more so like his rejection of the role of Imbibitor Lunae given what I've talked about about the DF being there would never say #Any of those things how it's based on his biased view of him and is a projection of things he was told growing up likely #So I'm tired #One of the only good arguments I've ever seen to say DH is DF is in regards to how he clings to DF's old stuff #I have things to say about it personally #But it's a MILES better argument than some of the other ones I've seen and even then my arguments against it would still be an up for #Interpretation kind of thing like the initial argument rather than pointing out someone is looking at the full picture #Again I respect how people see it! Believe what you want to believe about it again it's all about our own perspectives #Just don't be a dick to people on either side if you don't agree with them #Dan heng #Dan feng #Hsr #Honkai star rail

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genderqueerdykes · 21 days

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as someone who has been scarred for life by experiences at gay bars, i need people to understand it's beyond tacky to mock people who want queer spaces beyond queer bars- it's dangerous.

let me explain. i went to 2 of my local queer bars a lot last year, as much as i was able to despite being poor. i witnessed a fist fight that was so bloody that ended up with a transmisogynistic drag queen getting hit in the head with a metal baton. the sight caused me to uncontrollably throw up in the bathroom of the club because of how gruesome it was. they had to close down the club and forard people out the back door because of how out of hand this person got- he was screaming transmisogynstic slurs and phrases at the bouncers were were transfem.

i was also sexually assaulted at these places, i was repeatedly groped by several people who i was not interacting with in the first place who found me attractive and decided physically grabbing me on numerous occasions was the way to get my attention. being femme in a queer bar is dangerous even if the people groping you are gay men.

i am also a recovering addict who dealt with alcohol issues in the past and could be considered a recovering alcoholic. i don't want to be around alcohol. i don't want to smell it. it triggers awful memories and also sometimes makes me consider getting a drink, but i can't have one, because the medications i take will cause a fatal reaction- i don't want to be tempted to drink, because it will kill me.

it's not right to mock someone or call them childish or whatever for not wanting to go to a club. whenever alcohol is involved, people's inhibitions are gone and they will do whatever. this includes fighting. i witnessed several other fights. just because it's a queer bar doesn't mean there won't be fights. and it especialyl doesn't m ean that you won't get groped or assaulted because, like i said, since alcohol is involved and it's a bar, there's a high chance this can and will happen.

queer people are not inherently safe angels to be around by virtue of being queer. there are still transphobes in queer bars. tranny chasers come to these bars. homophobic lesbians show up and lesbophobic gay men show up. drag queens and performers bring their cishet friends and family to support their shows. these are not perfect havens. they are not safe. we should not force other queers to interact with inherently dangerous spaces if these are supposed to be our safe spaces.

also these spaces are not friendly to people with disabilities; wheelchair users have nowhere to go especially when it's very crowded. other mobility aids get kicked and knocked over. neurodivergent people can get overstimulated by the deafening music very quickly. photosensitive people can have seizures due to the strobing lights. people with emetophobia like me run the risk of running into those types of triggers. people who are overstimulated by intoxicated people have no choice but to deal with it. dancing is one of the only activities to do other than drink and not many disabled (or even abled) people can dance for extended periods of time comfortably.

not to mention these spaces are not geared toward aromantic or asexual people at all, either. there is a long list of reasons why bars should not be our primary venues of interaction with one another. they serve a specific purpose- for people who want to cruise- but for the rest of us, it's really crucial that we have spaces that provide meaningful interactions with other queers on other levels of our identities.

some people just want to hang out with other queers in a quiet environment and craft, or shop, or drink coffee, or read books together, or just about any other activity on planet earth, and that's not "lame" or "cringy" or bad in any way- these are extremely normal and necessary parts of human interaction that we all require and crave and it's normal to want to do healthy, domestic things with other queers. we need this in our lives.

please take it seriously when people attempt to create queer spaces that don't involve alcohol and bars. it's necessary for our survival and well being as a community.

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doubleca5t · 2 years

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Tbh i think my main concern if we start telling kids that they could change their gender at a young age it might just confuse them? Because i feel like a lot of kids have felt at some point where they wish to be the opposite gender because of small things like wanting to be able to play with girly/boyish toys or feeling that their sibling with the opposite gender is getting more attention than they are. Children rarely knows what they want for sure and I don't think they should be given the opportunity to go through things such as transitioning since it would leave permanent effects and they might change their minds in the future (im aware that transitioning doesn't always mean taking hormones, but there has been more cases recently where parents are giving younger kids hormones and I don't want the number to increase). Idk would love to hear your opinion on this though.

This is actually a very good question because I think this is a common concern for people not super involved in trans circles.

The short answer is that there is a framework already in place for transition under the age of 18 that is designed to have limited to no permanent impacts on someone who decides to stop treatment after medically transitioning as a child. The way it works (at least in the U.S. which is what I'm familiar with) is that if you are in a state that allows children to medically transition (should be every state but that's a separate issue) there are essentially three sets of rules based on the age of the person trying to transition:

Before puberty there are no options for medical transition. If a little kid wants to wear different clothes and go by a new name and pronouns they can do that, but they're not getting prescribed anything until later.

Starting around their teen years, trans youth can be prescribed a type of medication called a puberty blocker, but still can't receive hormone replacement therapy or any kind of gender affirming surgery. Puberty blockers, the most popular of which is Lupron, are a class of medications that, when taken by a pubescent child, halt the onset of puberty. In case you don't know, the way that hormone replacement therapy works is that it's essentially a way of medically enducing a male or female puberty. Transmascs take testosterone shots which gives them more body hair, a deeper voice, and a more masculine fat distribution, while transfems take estrogen, which gives them less body hair, some breast growth, softer skin and a more feminine fat distribution.

Lupron does not have these effects. Instead of giving trans kids the puberty of their desired gender, it just stops them from experiencing the puberty of the gender they were assigned at birth. This allows their body to go either way depending on their next steps: they can either stop taking blockers and go through their AGAB puberty, albiet a little late, or switch to HRT when they turn 18 and go through their desired puberty. This gives trans teens time to think it over before they commit to a course of treatment that might have longer lasting effects (though even the effects of hormones wear off to an extent if you stop taking them like maybe I'd keep my boobs if I went off e and spiro but the rest would probably revert back to how I was when I was a man).

There's a lot of scaremongering about Lupron but the funny thing is, it's already prescribed to a lot of cis children and no one bats an eye at that. Lupron is also used as a treatment for "precocious puberty" which is when a child goes through puberty before they're supposed to, which can have some negative side effects. Lupron has been used to treat this for a while now, and while transphobes will tell you it's some sort of dangerous experimental drug with terrible side effects, the serious side effects are no more common than in any other medication we give to teens (which is to say, pretty rare), and no one was putting up a stink about it when we were giving it to cis kids. GEE I WONDER WHY 🤔🤔🤔

Once a teenager reaches adulthood, the full range of options becomes available to them in terms of trans healthcare so long as they meet the requisite psychological and social requirements.

Now there have been cases of teenagers receiving treatment that is, for lack of a better term, ahead of schedule, but these are pretty rare and tend to receive outsize attention because conservatives use them as anecdotes. It's like how, in the 90s, conservatives would point to some horrible murderer and argue that we need more policing and harsher sentences to stop people like that, when in reality, the biggest impact of those policies was that people who committed relatively minor offenses (or in some cases NO offenses) receive extremely harsh punishments. They're cherry picking corner cases and arguing that the whole system needs to be made harsher and more unforgiving to prevent a handful of instances where it failed.

But you know what IS really common? trans teens being *denied* care for arbitrary or outright bigoted reasons. Trans healthcare isn't too permissive in providing treatment to young people, it's the exact opposite: it's too restrictive. That's the real problem with trans healthcare for teens, and that's what people should be concerned about.

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tocomplainfriend · 3 months

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VIV is constantly criticized by her own fault.

TW: Mention of: SA, Rape, Transphobia, fat phobia, Antiblackness.

(Hey, i'mma probably do a post eventually about episode 4. Btw, awfully shit, worse than I thought it could be... BIG TW OF R-PE AND SA IF YOU'RE GOING TO SEE IT. AND TW of the minimization of those topics too.)

(SORRY FOR BAD ENGLISH IN THIS POST TOO)

BUT I NEED TO CALL ATTENTION TO THIS! One of the reasons I criticize a lot of Viv specifically is because of how much she puts herself out there. She sees something she posts on Twitter about it a shit ton (even on "threads" lol). AND because of how lacking of improvement she has being. (I personally know people I have considered terrible when we were teens, but I have seen legit improvement from them in recent years. They seem like people who struggle, but got to grow up and made up for any problems (or pain caused to me or others). People have the ability to change and become better. Something that matters at pointing out issues or discussing-is the idea of creating change on others. It is better to get someone to change for the better than to cast them into the forever jail of nothingness (unless, IDK, they Sexually Assaulted someone, for example). Specially when they are young people. Doesn't mean YOU have to stick with other people that hurt you, no. Doesn't mean people get to do what ever and get away with it.

BUT All of this problem I have seen from Viv are from age 19-30. (you can change at anytime btw) And see constantly repeats herself and her actions. Seems to have never accepted criticism (said by herself too), and never able to see her own faults. The fact that is a continuous behavior is a problem, how she always responds is awful. My post of "Viv has being transphobic for 10 years", was to signal that. If she really had changed over those 10 years to a genuine thing- I could've taken that! But no, the shitty double standard against trans men... the weird treatment. THE MANY STORIES OF EMPLOYEES GETTING MISGENDERED HEAVILY, TOO.

(I know people who were transphobic [When they were teens mainly], that Genuinely improved and changed their beliefs. Now they treat trans people with respect and care! And still learning about gender-fluid people, too!)

It just seems to be further and further away from getting better! The fact that she only decides to take in account voices from SA victims that agree with her- it's painful as a victim, my self!

And yes, people who sent gore or dumbass shit to Viv (or the team) don't help. And go get help why you're looking and sending Gore to anyone. (Also, stuff like this does lead to people not listening to others people genuine callouts). The fact that I criticize something doesn't mean I agree with the people that go and do shit like the thing I just mention above.

AND ALSO A IMPORTANT THING HERE!

This drawing was created by DollCreep. BUT ALSO FUCKING REMEMBER this was done in response to the shit that Viv drew of him.

If you didn't know Viv drew a transphobic caricature of DollCreep using the name Jojo (his old nickname). This put together with a shitty anti-sjw meme video. DollCreep is a transman, Viv drew a character based on him. A furry wolf girl, If you can see in the image the main thing listed below the character name is the fucking "Sex=♀️". SO ON PURPOSE, CHRIST. Like... AND YES-is shitty from both to have drawn this (even if it was in respond) mainly immature in DC part. But that, or any toxicity coming from DC, doesn't delete the transphobia here. (imagine drawing a racist caricature of a poc person, because they are shitty to you). THE POST LINKED ABOVE SHOWS THE SITUATION, and in the end of the day. Viv says that DC is an abusive shitty person to her, but never realizing her own faults or anything she could'be possibly done wrong! (and again, any wrong done by DC in general can not be deleted by the fact of having being treated badly. If he did shitty stuff himself, that doesn't delete the wrong done in general to him or to others by viv)

Here about transphobia:

(this is like 8yrs old too)

Again, she never acknowledges anything that she might have done wrong. "She is a thoughtful person, that wants tor write queer and disabled characters! She wants to tell empowering stories of..." It doesn't even feel close to that when people bring up actual problems in her writing that are stereotyping or bad, and she just yells and cries. It all feels like empty sticks she is only interested in in the surface level, she doesn't want to actually deal with.

When she says "This characters is black guys ♡♡♡" and then the fucking 7th, a grayish character with zero black features. She can not actually try and draw a black person with a different hair texture, she'll faith is hair isn't straight and spiky (has done this so much too). She is all for positivity and diversity (can not draw more than 1 character that isn't a fucking stick with the same stupid face).

She can not write relationships in general. She cannot do gay couples, then don't lean on the stupid old uke uwu defenceless x big rough seme protector stuff. Again, all the interactions with Husk and Angel are sexual harassment. They are already a revealed future couple (and episode 4 is terrible for them, specially with that song). Stolitz is toxic, and predatory. That is not acknowledged, and all Stolas's predatory behavior and power dynamics are put in the background, cause- "look how sad Stolas is :(! HIS DAD IS SOOO MEAN, HIS WIFE IS A BITCH". All her gay characters are in pure surface: over-sexual twinks that are assholes, which also fit into the top/bottom as personality boxes.

Any other point includes sexual harassment as a joke. BUT KNOW SHE WANTS TO BE LIKE "GUYS SA STORIES MATTER, LOOK AT WHAT I WROTE" as if she didn't lean back into the problem of the diminishing of SA and r- (in general and done to men) with her jokes in HB. With all the sexual harassment that Angel Dust puts on Husk and others. (AND YES THERE IS NO WARNING IN EPISODE 4, FOR ITS HEAVY TOPICS! I do believe all series/movies with this need it. SPECIALLY IF IT'S SO GRAPHIC! "Sexual content" is not the same as a warning for SA or R-pe. An adult can see a movie with sex or sexual nutidy- when they see that- but it's different to get straight assault on screen. Victims can watch movies/series with sex in them all good, you cannot just group consensual sex in the same assault or R-pe...)

The thing where Mammon (the only fat character that isn’t from the fucking background.) is like FIZZ YOU NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT. AS IF SHE COULD EVEN DRAW ANY DIFFERENT BODY SHAPE WITHOUT DYING. Like there is only Mimzy (hasn't appeared yet, not given any importance. In the female lead show). Mammon the piece of shit (does the same as Blitz, but he is actually fully bad.) His design is done with 80 fucking layers on top. Like all the test of the skinny character's clothes suck up to their body except for Mammon. His body is hidden in layers upon layers of clothing (that's all you got?). All you main guys need to fill "the skinny have nothing men" and "skinny woman with big hips and legs, but no fucking stomach"?

AND YES! VIV DOES DO THE FUCKING, "FAT = FOOD LMAOOO". You know the thing HH fans and hater where like the "Bee needs to fat thing is bad, cause of fat = food (only food) is reductive and shitty"

(Can I refer to how the show Bojack H, make Diane gain weight cause of anti depressants- and it wasn't a joke! And she was happier too?)

(mine, from post right below)

... like is a bundle of issues. And Viv will never accept that she might be /or is wrong. That's why it hits the fan with stuff. -And again I liked many of the little concepts and stuff in HB and the original pilot of Hazbin. Shit- I still like Sir Pentious and Nifty. I do like Mammon as much as he is a pack of problems to call out, I fucking love the piece of shit Australian jester- The artist work hard on it, and I'm happy it's an openly queer! (as limited as it gets, too....). I liked Huni-cast, I loved the original voice cast! -and that happens! I could be writing this about other stuff too, not only Hazbin... if I created this blog earlier- IT WOULD ALL BE ABOUT RWBY, DANGANRONPA, even svtfoe...Ladybug... or Agretsuko's ending too. So yeah, sorry for the long post (as if all my post weren't)

#vivziepop critique #vivziepop critical #helluva boss criticism #helluva boss critique #helluva boss critical #hazbin hotel critical #hazbin hotel criticism #hazbin hotel critique #anti vivziepop #long post #tw rape #tw sa #tw transphobes #tw transfobia #tw fatphobia #tw antiblackness

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hadeantaiga · 8 months

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Firstly: get dunk'd, transphobe.

Secondly, nice source, dipshit:

I have to do everything, don't I?

Let's talk about this source before we even read this article, because it shows how poor your rhetorical analysis skills are - or how unwilling you are to practice those skills, or perhaps just how willing you are to ally yourself with racist, nationalist, far-right reactionaries if they also happen to be transphobic.

Wings Over Scotland is a far-right, nationalist, reactionary blog run by Scottish "video game journalist" Stuart Campbell. It is not an unbiased news website - it's some dude's personal blog, and he created it because he hated that mainstream news in Scotland wasn't spreading the far-right rhetoric he wished it would.

And this is what you used as a "source". Fucking laughable.

Now let's get into the actual blog post. I refuse to call it a "news article", because it's not. This one was written by a nobody named "Mar Vickers". At the bottom of the article, Stuart claims Mar has "extensive experience in equality law". I can't seem to find any indication Mar is some sort of lawyer or scholar; all I can find is a link to his twitter - sorry, I mean his "X":

https://twitter.com/mar2vickers

You can tell this is the same Mar based on the content of his tweets. He's also transphobic garbage, surprise surprise. He has a backup account on "gettr", because it seems like his twitter gets suspended frequently - which says a lot. Gettr is a clone of twitter that caters to right wingers who get suspended and banned on Twitter for constantly violating its hate speech policies. So. You know. Though these days, X is the safe-haven for far-right reactionaries, so honestly that's a red flag period.

As a summary: Mar doesn't understand surveys or their limits, he doesn't define what a "sex crime" is, he doesn't know what the Rorschach test is, and he's bad at math. He plays with numbers like he's some sort of population statistician, which he's not. He draws conclusions that are completely nonsense, because he's not asking the relevant questions.

Basically, he states that over the past few years, the ratio of trans women in jail for sex crimes to compared to the general population of trans woman is now higher than the ratio of cis men in jail for sex crimes compared to the general population of cis men. Ok, but why did these numbers change? He doesn't ask why. He just assumes these trends are natural and reflect the behavior of cis men and trans women, rather than the increased transphobia in England and Wales that he and his buddy Stuart have been fueling.

I absolutely don't doubt that trans women are incarcerated for "sex crimes" (which he never defines of course) at a higher rate per population than cis men. It's the same reason people of color are incarcerated more per population: bigotry. "Wow, this population of people who society hates sure gets sent to jail a lot. That's probably a reflection of their true nature, and not a reflection on society at large!"

#transphobia #transmisogyny

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 4 months

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WIBTA if I changed my name because people are overusing the nickname privilege?

2 years ago, I (29, transmasculine) changed my name. For the sake of this ask, since I don't want to use my real name, a decent equivalent is James, so I'll be using that instead.

I originally told my mom and my roommate/close friend (Alex, 29, agender) I was okay with the nickname Jamie, but I'd prefer to mostly be called James, especially when it comes to people I don't know well.

I tried to set this boundary because the nickname feels a little feminine, even if it's technically gender neutral. I don't pass very often, so it makes me uncomfortable to think people who don't know me might misunderstand, and think I am simply a woman with a gender neutral nickname. So I envisioned Jamie being reserved for the people closest to me because of that.

Both my mom and Alex opted to call me Jamie immediately. They introduced me to friends, family members, and even strangers as Jamie, put my name in their phone as Jamie. My mom sends me packages addressed to "Jamie [lastname]". Just the other day, Alex's grandma sent us chocolates in the mail and the note inside said "Merry Christmas Alex and Jamie!" and I am not close to her by any means, I am positive Alex must have told her that's my name. Just tons and tons of little things like that.

It took me a while to catch on - at first I thought people simply decided to call me Jamie on their own, or heard Alex or my mom talk to me and figured it was okay. I'm autistic, so it takes a while to figure out the best way to approach a problem involving social skills. I didn't want to immediately jump in and say "hey, don't call me that, you don't know me well enough," because I think that's a bit callous. And I thought I was dealing with just a few acquaintances - not literally everyone Alex or my mom talks to.

I confronted both of them about a year ago, when I finally put it together. They said they're not intentionally disregarding my feelings, but "Jamie suits you so much more" so they forget and it just slips out.

(I could be wrong, but I think this is probably because Jamie can be a girl's name and I still look like a girl. So, yeah, of course they'd feel that way.)

I begged them to stop and call me James if they're talking to people about me. My mom promptly "forgot" again. Alex has gotten better about it, but still slips up. Even if they were perfect, I feel like the damage is done after 2 years of this.

To further complicate things, Alex actively avoids using pronouns to refer to people in speech. They will say things like "I've been told that the flight was canceled" instead of "he said he canceled the flight". This is due to anxiety because they're not great at remembering pronouns & doesn't want to accidentally misgender anyone. So there is a lot of general confusion about my pronouns amongst the groups that are connected to Alex. (I don't really use social media, so informing people of my pronouns is more complicated than just putting them in my bio and calling it a day. I've asked Alex to please just say he/him, but they're so resistant and weird about it because of their irrational fears, which...honestly just feels transphobic now).

Now I've started to ask them to drop the nickname entirely, even privately. Call me James and nothing else forever. Jamie has been thoroughly ruined for me, I just feel nauseous when I see or hear it. But at this point, since I lost my job & most of my social network is through Alex, everyone calls me Jamie, and it's exhausting to correct them over and over when it's such a small, seemingly pedantic thing. I don't mind a little confrontation or advocating for myself, but this...this is beyond what I can handle without getting severely stressed out.

So I've been considering changing my name to something else that doesn't have such a common gender neutral/feminine nickname. Just start over. Reset.

But this would be the third time I've changed my name. The first time was like 6 years ago, and it only lasted a few months before I decided it didn't fit, and went back to using my deadname while I figured myself out. My family remembers this well, and 2 years ago when I told them I go by James now, expressed their frustration because I "keep changing things and it's confusing". I'm worried that if I change my name again, nobody will bother to take it seriously, they'll just assume I'll change it again, so why bother using the correct name at all.

Plus I do see how it could be considered petty or immature. It took years to settle on the name I have now. I put a ton of thought into it. I used to love it. I might be TA for letting something as unimportant as an overused nickname sway me to the point where I feel like I need to throw the whole name away.

I mean, I understand why younger trans people might do that, since they have less of their life established and are figuring out who they are, but I'm nearly 30, so I feel like I am getting too old for this. It's just tiring.

Idk, I probably won't make any decisions based on the results of this, but the feedback would be helpful to consider. WIBTA?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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honeylemony · 8 months

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Every single anti- bi/pan-lesbian post i make goes the same way.

I go "hey lesbians dont experience attraction to men actually."

And some fucknut goes "thats exclusionary!! Lesbians can fuck men!!"

And i go "so thats rape culture. Youre advocating for lesbian corrective rape"

And they go "you dont respect diverse genders/sexualities!!"

And i go "i dont care what people call themselves, feel free to make up new labels, but lesbianism does not include attraction to men"

And the circle back around to "youre being exclusionary!! And a terf!!"

And i go "excluding is not inherently morally bad. Including is not inherently morally good. Also, im only talking about not being attracted to men, why do you think i mean "trans women" when i say men"

Then they go "well theres a long history of lesbians fucking men! Dont deny history!"

And i go "those lesbians were bisexual women who fought hard to have their own label and identity. You are being biphobic by erasing their struggles. Additionally, something having history doesnt absolve it of any crime"

And sometimes theyll go "but men fucking lesbians is a kink! You cant kinkshame!"

And ill go "something being a kink does not automatically mean it can't be criticized. Are pedophilia and beastiality a kink? Are they something that should be allowed? Kinks are not some magical, untouchable item that can do no harm in any situation."

And they'll go back to "some people just have open or fluid genders/sexualities! You cant box us in!"

And i go "sure. And you cant tell me how open or closed my sexuality is. You cant redefine a sexuality for all lesbians just because you want to. A sexuality is not more morally correct when open, and not more morally condemnable when closed. Aren't you against political lesbianism? How is political fluidity any better? (fluidity just for the sake of being more Politically Correct)"

And they go "but youre being mean!! Youre being loud and mean and your tone is bad"

And i go "well im a sexual assault survivor advocating against sexual assault of lesbians. My tone is probably indicative of how strongly i feel about this issue. Plus, its fucked up to ask an oppressed class to try and get the boot off their neck as prettily and quietly as possible."

And then they devolve into calling me a transphobe-terf mean scary fat lesbian who doesn't care about other people. All over me saying "lesbians do not fuck men".

#gay #lesbian #lgbt #bi #anti bi lesbian #anti pan lesbian #sapphic #lesbophobia

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roguekhajiit · 27 days

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TW: Transphobia

I had my first ever encounter with a transphobic member of the LGBTQ community this week.

At work on Monday, I overheard some co-workers discussing Transgender Day of Visibility and how President Biden issued a statement acknowledging Trans Day. Since it just so happened to occur on the same day as Easter this year, my very close-minded co-workers took that and Biden's statement as evidence that Trans people are trying to take over Easter!

Now, I consider myself to be Non-binary (specifically Demi-girl/Agender), but I tend to fly under the radar, which is very helpful since I live in a very, very red state. It doesn't hurt that my normal sense of personal style is very casual and all black. So, I can wear traditionally "men's" pants, and no one pays much attention to me, which is the way I prefer it. I hate anything that draws attention to myself.

So, I bit my tongue and hyperfocused on my work. Then, when I went home, the non-binary gremlin in me just couldn't be contained anymore; I opened Reddit and made a post about how no one is going around trying to steal stolen holidays.

Now, I was fully anticipating pissed off Christians to rain their uninhibited fake outrage down onto the comment section (which happened) but I wasn't anticipating a self-identified 60 yr old gay man to come into my comments saying things like, "Why would you put a Trans holiday anywhere near a religious holiday knowing every seven years it's gonna land on said holiday" and "As a gay man I believe that the one part of our community is stifling the rest of us."

Tell me you're transphobic without telling me you're transphobic.

Now, since I can't just ignore the sheer inaccuracy of his math; according to Google from 2001 to 2100, Easter will only land on March 31st 5 times. Five times in an entire century. The last time Easter was on March 31st, it was 2013. So, 11 years ago, or over a decade ago. No one gave a shit in 2013 that Easter and Trans Day were on the same day. But let the president acknowledge it in a statement and everyone loses their fucking minds.

So, why would you avoid celebrating something important in your life on the off chance that it might coincide with someone's religious holiday? Of course, you wouldn't. If your birthday is on Christmas, do you no longer have a birthday?

"Next, why wouldn't you place it in the month of pride then each day of pride month could have a different day celebrating each letter of the lbgtq+ community."

Yes, that is what Pride Month is for, celebrating the diversity of the LGBTQ+ community. But are you gay only in June?

But sadly, even some in our diverse community isolate and vilify trans individuals just like what this old gay dinosaur is doing. For 15 years, a vast majority didn't know or even give a shit that Trans Day existed. That is until a president acknowledged it.

"May I point out there's no gay holidays that coincide with Yom kipper or Ramadan."

True, Yom Kippur and Ramadan don't coincide with any "gay holidays," but Shavout is directly in the middle of Pride Month. Any outrage there?

"So just piss off the Christian's so they have one more thing to hate us for. I find many in our community asking for acceptance while giving none, just my opinion and nothing more."

How very accepting of you to say, my lord.

"Maybe it's time we all in the gay community and cis people give the whole year to the Trans community."

But they aren't asking for the year, or even a month. They just want one day that is their own. And even members of our own LGBTQ+ community can't even give them that.

"I'm gay so I can't be transphobic."

Your statements say otherwise. Just because you're gay doesn't mean you are absolved of your transphobia.

Perhaps it's time we stop placating these dusty ass old gay dinosaurs and call them out on their hateful thinking. Their "I got mine" attitude only harms our communities. Just because you won the fight for same sex marriage doesn't mean you're safe. The fight for equality is never-ending.

More and more of us are having our rights stripped away right before our very eyes. Roe v. Wade has already been overturned, and they aren't going to stop there. They never planned to stop there. They are very methodically chipping away at our rights. Right now, they are focusing their efforts on the trans community, slowly outlawing their very existence. And while they have you distracted by that, they are quietly overturning same sex marriage laws. Your rights aren't safe and never will be safe as long as we have members in our communities who subscribe to this kind of thinking.

#trans community #trans day of visibility #transgender #trans rights #lgbtq community #lgbtq #lgbtq+#lgbt #lgbtqia #lgbtqia+#lgbtqplus #transphobes #reddit #nonbinary #demigirl #demisexual #agender

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sebastianthemadlad · 4 months

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Why I don't like the trans woman Vil headcanon

You probably saw my repost of another person talking about this but I wanted to rant about it by myself so here we go.

Before you start calling me transphobic, I'm not angry BECAUSE he's being headcanoned as trans (I actually headcanon him as trans myself, but as a trans man) and at the end of the day he's just a fictional character and it doesn't really matter so do whatever the hell you want.

That being said, a huge part of Vil's characters is not liking gender roles/stereotypes

This scene with him and Epel speaks for itself:

Why is this a problem? Well the main reason I'm seeing a lot of people headcanon him as a trans woman is because he is feminine-

My reaction:

Ah yes because feminine men totally cannot exist! They HAVE to be a trans woman! Same with tomboys they have to be trans men! Oh my god-

I want to clarify I'm not blaming trans people for this, in fact I've seen mainly trans people in the twst wonderland fandom call this out and mainly non trans people headcanon Vil as a trans woman.

To be fair, a lot of trans people started out as masculine "women" or feminine "men" before they realised they were trans, but that doesn't mean ALL feminine and masculine men and women are trans (or at least not transitioning to be the opposite gender I have met plenty of masculine trans women and feminine trans men)

Like the post I reposted said, if Vil truly WERE a trans woman, s/he'd probably be a tomboy, because a huge part of Vil's character IS 👏🏻BREAKING 👏🏻GENDER 👏🏻ROLES!

A lot of the trans male friends I have who also like Twisted Wonderland look up to Vil, because they want to break male gender roles and pass enough to be seen as a feminine guy and not a woman (what I mean by that is when trans men are feminine and like wearing dresses and stuff they are often a bit too afraid to do it due to social dysphoria and being misgendered so they usually wait until they begin passing more to wear/do more feminine things, its sad)

So when said trans male friends see the other twisted wonderland say Vil HAS TO BE A WOMAN just because he's feminine it makes them upset, they think they aren't "trans enough" and that to be a "true man" they must conform to male gender roles so they can be "trans enough"

The same goes with female characters who are masculine, trans women who are tomboys could be happy that a woman in media they watch is more masculine like them, but when people start headcanoning said woman as a trans man, it could make the trans women upset

I'm not saying headcanoning certain characters as trans is a bad thing, do whatever the hell you want, I'm not the type to get angry over fictional fun, I scoff at people wishing death upon proshippers because yeah its gross but at the end of the day its just fiction and the person behind it are often just a weird pre teen, I barely even make "call out posts" about these types of fandom stuff but subjects like being transgender often hit home for me because I have many trans friends and a few trans relatives whom I worry about because I know dysphoria can often make people think unhealthy and suicidal thoughts, so I'm just concerned about the harm certain headcanons could cause

#twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland book 5 #twst #vil schoenheit #pomefiore #trans #transgender #trans women #trans men #trans headcanons #rant #gender roles #gender stereotypes #feminine men #headcanons

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genderkoolaid · 2 months

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hi! your blog's been encouraging to me as a trans guy, but i've recently felt that i should no longer call myself that/should just "go back to" being a girl, and idk if my train of thought makes any sense...so i just wanted to ask someone w more experience (but feel free to ignore this rant/call me out if im not making sense btw)

so yeah, my cousin's been out to me as a (binary) trans man for a few years now, and in trying to find understanding, i came out to him a few months later, but got a very flat/kinda disgusted reaction. despite my consistent support for him over the years, he has continued to "joke" about my looks/short hair and dismisses any attempts at serious conversations or even just jokes about gender/being a guy too. he also calls me things ive told him makes me uncomfortable (gender-wise) and then acts like it means nothing. he generally brushes me off by telling me to stop trying to compare myself to him, and is either prickly about it or just in-your-face "idgaf what you're talking about and i'm tired of you." it barely hurts me anymore, but ive felt connected to trans-ness for so many years (longer than id even known he was too) and his reaction to this part of me has honestly made me wonder if i'm just making it up/am trying too hard or something,,,like maybe i'm just trying to cover for being a gross 20-somethings woman ?? idk ?

i'm probably just being over-sensitive, and i dont feel it's outright malicious or anything (maybe he just doesn't think/care about it as much as me?), but i have nobody else to ask (no irl friends/people im out to) and i'm currently renting/living with him, which has brought these worries to the forefront. thanks if youve read this far, but please don't feel pressured to respond!

Your cousin sounds like he has a lot of internalized transphobia he's directing at you. Unfortunately there are trans people who try to prop themselves up and make themselves feel more confident in their transness by tearing down others. You are not being over-sensitive, and regardless of what he thinks he's doing, he's actively being cruel to you. You are well within your rights to be hurt by his actions. Living with someone who is constantly being transphobic to you is traumatizing- detransitioning can be a coping method for those who have to constantly defend themselves from transphobic abuse.

If its possible, I would recommend trying to see if there are any queer orgs in your area you could connect with (physically or online). At the least, you may find some people who can give you emotional support, and they also may be able to find you a better living situation. Even if that's not possible right now, keep reminding yourself that his behavior is cruel and you are allowed to be upset about it. You do not need to take any of his opinions on your gender seriously. You are not making up your transness or trying too hard. You are not over-sensitive, you are being hurt.

#m.#ask box

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la-niolue · 8 months

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“She,” Angua corrected. “This is Ankh-Morpork, you know. We’ve got extra pronouns here.”

She could smell his bewilderment. Of course, everyone knew that, somewhere down under all those layers of leather and chain mail, dwarfs came in enough different types to ensure the future production of more dwarfs, but it was not a subject that dwarfs discussed other than at those essential points in a courtship when embarrassment might otherwise arise.

“Well, I would have thought she’d have the decency to keep it to herself,” Carrot said finally. “I mean, I’ve nothing against females. I’m pretty certain my stepmother is one. But I don’t think it’s very clever, you know, to go around drawing attention to the fact.”

“Carrot, I think you’ve got something wrong with your head,” said Angua.

“What?”

“I think you may have got it stuck up your bum."

Feet Of Clay

Honestly I love that Carrot's the one who doesn't immediately accept Cheery. Carrot is undoubtedly a good guy, and we know he does accept her later, so this really illustrate how pervasive prejudice can be.

I mean, Carrot is the one who accepts everyone, he's good and nice and open-minded. But he is a dwarf, and was raised with their traditional values that a dwarf isn't female. And so he is unconsciously prejudiced.

Like he says : he got nothing against it, per se, he knows some female you know, it's just that it's not done, see, it's wrong.

And that's a very common attitude in real life, when people have prejudice that they don't even realise are prejudice, because they grew up with them and never thought to question them. So of course that's not racist or transphobic or whatever, it's just common sense/how the world works.

So it's very nice to see that attitude being called out, because Carrot isn't being overly rude or insulting, and he even respected Cherry's pronouns when answering... But it's not much better and he's still wrong.

And also we know from later books that he does learn better! He got called out on his bullshit and he listened! And he got over his prejudice!

And so can we. I think most everyone grew up learning some bullshit ideas. And we're not automatically bad people for integrating them, we can't know what we don't know and blinkers are hard to get rid of. But we need to at least try to think critically about what we learn and more importantly, we need to listen when someone tell us we're full of shit.

#discworld #gnu terry pratchett #stop prejudice #cheery littlebottom #carrot ironfoundersson #feet of clay

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transmasczeroone · 5 months

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On coming out as trans:

I live in a very middle-class, Christian, conservative area, so I was bracing myself for the worst when I decided to come out publically to my co-workers and customers. (I work in a restaurant/bar that attracts a particular demographic: Imagine middle-aged ladies coming to brunch, older men coming for a pint after work, families bringing their children and dogs, most of them white, wealthy, and cishet. For context, I'm also 5 ft 4, and pre-everything, with a gender neutral name that leans towards the girly side, at least in my country.)

The first co-worker I came out to was a low-level supervisor, a gay cis guy in his 20s. He was a bit confused at first, had to ask a lot of questions to understand exactly what was changing, but ever since then he has been unconditionally supportive. He volunteered to tell the other managers that I'm trans, so I didn't need to go through the stress of that conversation multiple times.

The rest of the managers/supervisors (all cishet) at some point or another said that I can go to them if customers or other staff bother me (which hasn't happened at all), and all get my pronouns right most of the time, and are quick to correct themselves when they don't. They even go out of their way to use affirming language - one of my co-workers realised one day that that were no women on shift at the time, turned to me and said something about it being a boys' club and included me in that category. They celebrate my small wins, and the big ones, everything from "nice haircut!" to "ohmygod you're going on testosterone soon?? I'm so happy for you!!"

One of the managers - a cishet woman in her 50s, and the one I expected to have the worst reaction - asked a lot of questions to better understand me and offered to introduce me to her friend, who is also a trans man. This is a big deal to me, because I don't know any other trans men in my area. According to my co-workers, she's better at getting my pronouns right than almost anyone else.

Another cishet guy I work with is in his 60s had to ask what my he/him badge meant when he first saw it, and now he always makes a point of getting my pronouns right, especially in front of other people who she/her me based on my appearance or who need a reminder.

The male customers I serve on the bar tend to ask what the badge means (although some prefer to stare at it in confusion and not comment at all). My usual response is, "It's to remind people that I'm not a girl, since a lot of people think I am," which omits a huge chunk of the truth, but isn't a lie. I've never had a bad response, though.

When I explain, they often say, "Wow, I never would have guessed you were a man" (ouch, dysphoria) and apologise genuinely and quite profusely for calling me "she" or "sweetheart" or whatever earlier in the interaction. They're eager to assure me that they meant no disrespect. Some even notice the badge and apologise without having to ask what it means. Nobody contradicts me, nobody is sarcastic or thinks I'm joking, and nobody has ever said anything transphobic to me or asked invasive questions. Some get confused and sort of gloss over my explanation, but nobody has been hateful. Sometimes they seem to accept me as a cis guy, other times they're clearly aware that I'm trans, but it doesn't affect their response either way.

The worst thing I've encountered is customers who see the he/him badge, blatantly ignore it, and then misgender me throughout the interaction. Not ideal, of course, but far better than what I was expecting.

This entire experience has reminded me of a time I read in a comment somewhere that transphobes are a very vocal minority, that transphobia feels like it's ramping up recently because transphobes know they're losing the war and are screaming in a desperate attempt to be taken seriously. They're scared that all their fearmongering and hatred is, in fact, getting them nowhere. Maybe there's some truth to that.

As I said before, I live in a conservative, middle-class area, and there are no queer bars, bookshops, etc. for miles and miles, but there are at least 3 churches within a 15 minute walk of my house. And in the 5 months I've been out publically, the worst transphobia I've faced from a co-worker or stranger is just them not using my pronouns until corrected.

I'm not saying don't be careful when you come out. I'm not saying that things always go well. Sometimes they go awfully, and I've had my own bad experiences.

What I am saying is that my faith in cis people has been restored to quite an astonishing degree, that sometimes people can surprise you in wonderful ways, that there are people out there willing to accept and respect us, and sometimes you find them where you least expect them.

#transition #coming out #trans #transgender #transmasc #trans man #trans boy #trans guy #ftm #zero.text #transmasculine

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eg515 · 10 months

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I want to tell you all a bit about what is currently happening in Hungary because once again the government chose Pride Month (which is in July here) to attack the lgbtq+ community. Three news from just the past week: queer books are wrapped in plastic in bookshops, a bench painted in rainbow colours started a war in Budapest, and a law about retirement was modified to specifically exclude trans women. I'm sure others posted about these, probably could put it better than me, but here it is in one place.

Books: two years ago the government passed a so-called "child protection" law, but it's most commonly reffered to as the anti-gay law. The law is supposed to protect children, but it bans all media depictions of anything that would "promote homosexuality" or different gender identities.

The law is hard to understand on purpose, to make it unclear what is against the law and what isn't, resulting in the censoring of everything even remotely not cishet in fear of accidentally breaking the law. One notable example of this is commercials on tv. All media "promoting" homosexuality or gender change has to have an age restriction on it, including commercials. But since it is unclear what this means, now all tv ads have a 12+ rating, on every channel.

Previously bookstores which sell lgbt themed books had to make this clear and separate these books, which resulted in many bookstores having signs on their doors saying they sell these books. Some bookstores were fined for failure to comply.

Last week people started noticing that in the biggest bookstore chain, Libri, certain books were wrapped in clear plastic. This all happened because of the anti-gay law. Books including lgbtq characters are now wrapped in plastic and cannot be sold at the YA section of the store, they are moved to the adult section, regardless of the topic. Multiple writers called this out on social media, finding their own books wrapped up and moved.

Once again, since the law in unclear, Libri is wrapping up random books, because there is no clear guideline what goes against the law and what doesn't.

From literally two hours ago: one of the biggest bookstore chains, Líra, was just fined for 12 million forints (approx. 35k dollars) for selling Heartstopper without the wrapping, in the YA section.

The Bench: last Thursday, Amnesty International, with the permission of the mayor of the district, painted a bench in Budapest rainbow colours.

This was supposed to symbolise love and acceptance, especially during Pride Month. Since then, the bench was painted 6 more times. First, two men belonging to the neonazi fanclub of the local football club painted the bench the club colours, green and white. Amnesty International filed a police report, and painted the bench back to the rainbow colours.

Then the bench was painted green and white by two football fans yet again, this time with the message "stop lmbtq". After this, someone painted it back to brown, and left a note saying "I just want to be a bench. Which is good for everyone. To you. To them. To us."

After this Amnesty International repainted it with the rainbow colours. Then just today, a right-wing party, Mi Hazánk painted it red-white-green, the national colours, and stated that they will offer protection to the football fans, they will do the sane painting to any rainbow coloured anything they find anywhere in the country, and if anyone paints over it, they will file a police report for damaging a national symbol.

update: just a few hours after the last painting, unknown people wrapped the bench in plastic, with the message "Lately LGBTQ+ content can only be in public in wrapping", referencing the plastic wrapped books

The transphobic retirement law: back in 2010, Fidesz, the current ruling party made a promise during its campaign, which since then became a law. Currently this "Nők40" (Women40) law allows women to retire after 40 years of work, including time spent raising a child, as a way to honour women.

In 2006 the EU ruled that transgender people are entitled to retirement according to the gender they are when retiring. In line with this, earlier this year a Hungarian court ruled in favour of a trans woman, allowing her to retire after 40 years of work, due to the Nök40 law. It is worth noting that she has legally changed her gender in all her offical papers in 2013, and only found out in 2021 that the pension payer still had her registered as a man, and due the transphobic Law 33 passed in 2020, the pension payer refused to correct her gender. The court later ruled in her favour though, and she can retire.

Now, a member of Fidesz argues that this ruling is "a gross provocation and a slap in the face of the legal system". She urged lawmakers to changed the law and make it clear what they mean by women, reminding everyone that Fidesz still maintains that there are only two biological genders.

This was yesterday. By today, a change in the law was prepared. The announcement said the law has been clear for everyone with common sense, but to avoid any "sensitized" judge using this legal loophole, they are now amending it so it stated the early retirement is for everyone who "worked as a woman for 40 years". They claim now nobody can just decide to suddenly want to be a woman for early retirement after working as a man for 39 years. Because obviously early retirement, in a country where it is impossible to make ends meet just on pension alone, is the main reason someone would "decide" to be trans. Obviously.

so, this is where we're at in Hungary, two days before the Budapest Pride Parade. another Pride Month, another attack on lgbtq rights. I don't really have a point with this, I don't want to guilt trip anyone. Just spreading the word, since we rarely read about non-usamerican news.

#yeah i still hate it here #hungary #lgbtq rights #eu politics #pride month #lgbtq+#lgbtq+ rights #trans rights #transgender #books #censorship #lgbtq books #lgbtq+ books

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fordtato · 2 months

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Gffan has done the following:

-Letting people comment transphobic stuff on his Server

-associating with a reddit mod whos known to be transphobic

-openly showing weird distaste for the Dipper being Trans headcanon (didn't he also say: "I hate the Dipper Trans Theory" to us once?)

He also believes there’s only 2 genders

Hello. So. I do not normally respond to anonymous discourse like this in my inbox as a rule (especially given this site's proclivity for seeing anon callouts weaponized against trans people and women and people of color), but I felt it was important to do this in this case, since I am publicly working on a project with ThatGFFan.

I have known GFFan for over a year now now (in an exclusively online capacity), and in that time, he has not only never misgendered me (a nonbinary trans person, someone outside the "2 genders" framework) but has also actively corrected people who have misgendered me. I have witnessed him speak against transphobia in the fandom and against transphobic content creators. The idea that he "believes there are only 2 genders" is inaccurate by every account I have of him.

As for other accusations in this ask, such as him "associating with a reddit mod who is known to be transphobic" I don't have any evidence for this presented to me, and even if I did, association in a public online space is not the same thing as sharing transphobic sentiment. There is room in any online space for a conversation about the optics of this kind of engagement, but if I had to apologize for every person I've ever engaged with civilly who I later learned was problematic in some way, I'd be here all day, and that would be an unproductive use of my time, and would not undo any harm done by that person.

Lastly, I hope ThatGFFan will not mind me saying this, but he is a young person (younger than you think, I assure you). If he has engaged with unsavory people in the past, or has indicated any kind of transphobic sentiment (neither of which I have any evidence of) it is my belief that we need to allow people to grow, especially when I have actively witnessed that growth firsthand. And in that case, I do think (and maybe I'm putting my faith in the wrong person here, so I hope this doesn't bite me one day), that he has made an active effort to learn how to do better, even if he makes mistakes in that process.

What you have done, anon, is entered my inbox with accusations against a person of color, half of which have no evidence behind them, and the other half that I personally know to be demonstrably false. Nobody who is a victim of this transphobia has come forward, at least that I saw, and if they did, that would be up to ThatGFFan to respond to - not me, a trans person unrelated and far-removed from whatever incident you are talking about (an incident that likely occurred when ThatGFFan was a minor, in any case).

I don't have a big platform. I am a small creator (much smaller than ThatGFFan), and a trans Palestinian person. Why am I being called upon to answer for a cis person's (alleged) missteps as they grow into an adult? Why am I being called upon to publicly shame and renounce a person who has shown me kindness and allyship? Is it so I can prove my dedication to the fight against transphobia? My entire blog, my entire body of work, my entire existence, has been an active fight against transphobia.

I mean, by God, all I can do is hope I'm doing the right thing here, but I vouch for him. Or I at least vouch that he is trying.

(p.s. I hope this goes without saying, but someone disliking a specific queer headcannon does not indicate one's political beliefs, and this is not going to be an accusation that I really engage with, because it sets a bad precedent. This is not a moral wrongdoing. This is an opinion you are suspicious of.)

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nothorses · 1 year

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A crucial part of the conversation around transandrophobia is the distinction between personal identity and sociopolitical categorization; or, to borrow one of my least favorite made-up grad school words, "positionality".

"Positionality" refers to where you exist in relation to power. It's "white" vs. "person of color" or other race-related classifications, it's gender, orientation, socioeconomic class, ability, "fat" vs. "thin", and whatever other axes of power you can identify.

"Personal identity" is how you choose to describe yourself; the words you prefer, the specific labels that make sense or feel right to you, and the words that may technically describe you, but that you don't want applied for any number of reasons.

The difference between these two things is why, for example, "bi" might technically describe pan people as well, but a lot of them don't actually identify as bi; and why, at the same time, a lot of statistics around bi positionality- the specific oppression that targets bi people- also apply to, and include, pan people.

The issue is a lot bigger than this, and there are a ton of arguments within the queer community based around the conflation of these two concepts in one way or another ("don't call it the queer community" comes to mind). But the one I'm interested in here is the way this impacts transmasc discourse, specifically.

There's a particular confusion that happens with trans people's identity vs. positionality in queer discourse. Cissexist society says that trans people's identities don't matter; that they do, and also should occupy the position of whatever gender they were assigned at birth. Position determines identity.

The common argument to this is to just flip it the other way around: trans people's identities do matter- and that those identities determine positionality.

This makes sense, to some degree:

Trans people face transphobia: identity = trans, therefore position = trans.

Trans women face misogyny: identity = women, therefore position = woman.

But it also concludes:

Trans men identify as men: identity = man, therefore position = man.

"Tans male privilege" is the notion that trans men, upon identifying as men, instantly gain access to the position of maleness.

But this is easy to poke holes in; telling someone you identify as a man doesn't stop them from seeing you as a woman, and that's kind of a vital function of transphobia in the first place. In fact, doing so would immediately subject you to transphobia.

So people think: okay, if trans men don't occupy the position of "man" because they identify that way, what does that say about trans women? Does that mean trans women do occupy the position of "man", despite identifying as "woman"? Does that mean they don't occupy the position of "woman" at all- and therefore cannot be subjected to misogyny?

Obviously, that's also not true! Trans women do experience misogyny; this is a well-documented fact.

And so do trans men.

And that adds to the confusion: if trans men experience misogyny, does that mean their position = woman? (And isn't that just what TERFs believe?)

The problem here is twofold:

We're still conflating identity with position- we're just arguing over which one determines the other.

We're ignoring that "trans" is itself a position. Trans people don't necessarily occupy the position of either binary gender; we are often just seen as "trans", and placed in that position.

This position is also a little bit unique in that it's particularly mobile: society doesn't want to acknowledge that this is a valid way to exist, and so the existence of the position is denied as much as possible. Trans people are, as a result, often categorized as "women" or "men" depending on what's convenient: if the transphobe in question can subject them to misogyny by categorizing them as a woman, or if they can paint them as "dangerous" by categorizing them as men.

If we can understand that position doesn't necessarily determine our identity- our actual gender- we can understand that trans women are both exactly as much women as cis women are, and that they occupy a very different position, and have very different experiences.

We can also understand, through these ideas, that trans men can identify as trans and as men, and that these identities don't necessarily determine position. Trans men don't occupy the position of "man", even though we identify as and are men.

We can also understand that trans men also aren't necessarily women, even if we do sometimes occupy the position of "woman", because every trans person can occupy that position if and when it's convenient to transphobia. The same is true of the "man" position and trans women.

#trans #transmasc #transphobia #transandrophobia #transmisogyny

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maddiviner · 1 year

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A person can worship a goddess and still be a raging misogynist.

I see this all the fucking time, too, and the "b-but I'm pagan!" line does get trotted out.

Yeah, no. I don't care how devoted you (claim you) are to Hecate/Freya/Babalon etc, I care how you treat flesh-and-blood people.

You can't pretend that "worshiping a goddess" makes someone, by default, not a misogynist. I see guys who have a (weird) notion of "divine femininity;" a perfect nurturing caregiver of sorts. They then get irate when a woman won't take that role for them.

They expect a (very narrowly-defined) goddess, and when they don't get one, they get mad. I end up reading their rants online as a bystander. A lot of these guys will claim the woman has somehow betrayed them, isn't pagan enough, or is an evil supernatural being?! Vampire? It's sometimes something like that.

On another note? Many transphobes are also very loud about how they "worship goddesses." They're, of course, equally loud about their disrespect for women, though. There's some "trad pagan" types, too (or whatever they're now called) who believe in goddesses - but also believe that women belong in the kitchen.

So yeah. Don't assume someone's safe and not bigoted simply because they worship Demeter or whoever. Don't let them claim that their goddess patron absolves any shitty behavior. This is a thing that keeps popping up, and I think people should be mindful of it. Don't let people like the above act as if worshiping Minerva, Aphrodite, or Juno (or whoever) gives them a free pass to be a bigot.

Also? A whole fucking civilization can worship goddesses and still be a terrible place for women.

That doesn't mean that those pantheons are misogynistic. It also doesn't mean that those reconstructing the religions are misogynists. It means that it's possible to have systemic goddess worship and misogyny together.

Don't give me that "b-but in some very specific scenarios, rich women could even *gasps of joy* own property!" either. Don't act like the mere existence of priestesses meant women there held great power, or even that the priestesses themselves necessarily did.

You can't take that kind of thing to mean that your average woman had basic rights in some of these pagan societies. In some cases, that was the case, yeah, but it's hardly been the majority. From what I've read over the years, a lot of it depended on wealth and status.

Even in Ancient Athens (pre-Pericles), women weren't considered citizens, exactly. They could take part in some religious ceremonies, but not most. While they had some financial freedom, they were generally relegated to domestic roles.

Colette Hemingway from the Metropolitan Museum describes this as "extreme social restraint." It doesn't sound like I'd want to live in that kind of civilization, even if I had modern creature comforts. It's similar elsewhere in the ancient world. Not everywhere, but enough places. Don't pretend otherwise.

Much of our history has included misogyny. This isn't a new thing. It was part of paganism. It unfortunately still is. Pretending "we were all considered equal before the Christians came" is disingenuous. And yeah, I've heard people make that exact claim in pagan places.

#pagan #paganism #witchblr #witchcraft #witch #eliza.txt #occult #misogyny #feminism #goddess #goddess worship #diana #history #gender #ugh #be aware and beware #safety #assumptions

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