#Lore discussion in this community can be so tiring | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

artheresy · 2 months

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An argument over whether or not Dan Heng is Dan Feng seems to have begun getting sparked again in certain parts of the Fandom and it does nothing but hurt my head to no end

Both sides cherrypicking or treating it like a strange situation, making false equivalents. "Yknow governments don't consider people who've lost their memories to be separate people" that's a flawed argument to use in favorite of DH = DF because it's not just he lost his memories. He literally grew up, experienced his own childhood, had a whole identity cultivated based on those experiences and that life and continues to live his own life. To treat the situation like it's just him getting a bit of amnesia is wild to me

But also I hate when people continue to insist he's running from Dan Feng and his past and how he's miserable and shouldn't ever confront the past and deal with it as if his and Blade's whole stories aren't centered around rebirth and karma, paying for your past life's karma. He needed to confront the past to ensure a freer future! He literally has!! And he will continue to do so because he realizes this, DH isn't dumb and he's grown since we first saw him. He understands

But yeah uh I'm so tired

This whole thing feels very Ship of Theseus. What makes the ship what it is, the physical aspects of its planks, its sailing history, or both?

For him, the question is what makes someone who they are? Is it the body that makes them up and any inherent genetic factors (like traits)? Is it their experiences, how they've grown up, and the identity they've developed in that time? Or is it both factors mixed together?

Personally in the case of Dan Heng, I think it's both! Yeah he has a lot of traits from Dan Feng. There's a lot inherently there. But we can't disregard his own experiences and the identity that has formed based on his history and what he's seen.

Again I can't stress this enough... It is a false equivalent to compare him to people who lose their memories or get amnesia, he didn't just lose those memories. He started life from the beginning, a whole different kind of life. And even then, the amnesia topic comes with its own debates. Isn't there a whole other thought experiment regarding someone put to trial who ends up with amnesia and what their verdict should be?

I guess in the end, it's all up to people's own philosophical beliefs after what constitutes a person. My personal belief that DH and DF will always be connect but the separation between them is also meaningful is something based on my own ideas of what consisitutes a person and their individual identity, similar situation with how I see Rukkhadevata and Nahida as connected but still not the same person exactly. At the end of the day again, it's personal beliefs

But what I can't stand and can't stand by, is someone acting all high and mighty like they're perfectly right and everyone else is wrong, especially when they're cherrypicking or not holding all their evidence to the same standard. According to some ppl, apparently it's better in the CN fandom where instead of treating it like "I'm right you're wrong" people have divided themselves into "DF and DH one person" and "DF and DH two people" groups and most importantly of all, they treat both like theories and just keep to their space and tag which they believe when it's relevant. Why can't we just do that? Why can't we follow in their footsteps instead of bringing up this argument every so often with the same tired flaws from both sides?

#Lore discussion in this community can be so tiring #I wish more people would be open to their viewpoint being challenged instead of believing they can never ever be wrong #And seeing people throw out wild accusations #Like someone saying people are transphobic if they believe dh is df like what?#I get it if you identity with dh and read it as a trans narrative personally even if I dont #Doesn't mean you can call people transphobic over it #I dunno I'm tired #Everything I see this topic I get mad #“He says you're my past in the ichor of two dragons!!”#He also says right after “But you won't follow me into my future” so your point is?#Additionally if we're being 100% real that animation feels like it's less about his rejection and eventual acceptance of DF specifically #It feels more so like his rejection of the role of Imbibitor Lunae given what I've talked about about the DF being there would never say #Any of those things how it's based on his biased view of him and is a projection of things he was told growing up likely #So I'm tired #One of the only good arguments I've ever seen to say DH is DF is in regards to how he clings to DF's old stuff #I have things to say about it personally #But it's a MILES better argument than some of the other ones I've seen and even then my arguments against it would still be an up for #Interpretation kind of thing like the initial argument rather than pointing out someone is looking at the full picture #Again I respect how people see it! Believe what you want to believe about it again it's all about our own perspectives #Just don't be a dick to people on either side if you don't agree with them #Dan heng #Dan feng #Hsr #Honkai star rail

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genericpuff · 3 months

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Lore Olympus Episode 265 Betrays the Series' Own Messages of Consent

I've been keeping it on the down low lately with new episodes of LO, both for the sake of my mental health and because LO itself has just become so... pointless and boring. There's only so much to say when nothing is happening, and in that regard, I will preface this with a "congratulations" towards Rachel, because she's finally found a way to best the "haters" - make the comic so boring that there's nothing worth talking about to begin with.

At first glance I thought this was going to be another one of those episodes. Good job, Rachel, you managed to pad out another episode with pointless fluff to get you closer to that looming end date. Just keep dragging, just keep dragging, just keep dragging-

But the longer I sat on it, and read the comments and posts about it in discussion circles, the more I've realized that this episode in particular has a load of issues that I don't feel good just sitting on and not talking about. Primarily because, over the course of about 90% of this episode's length, we see Lore Olympus - and Rachel - slyly undo everything that ever mattered in its subtext about consent, healthy relationships, and strong communication.

Granted, Lore Olympus has never exactly been the poster child for those things, but it's trying to be, so we're going to dissect it with an equal amount of scrutiny. It wants to be taken seriously, so I'm going to take it seriously and criticize it seriously.

CONTENT WARNING: EPISODE 265 SPOILERS AHEAD, AS WELL AS DISCUSSION OF SEXUAL ASSAULT, MENTAL HEALTH, GROOMING, AND SYMPTOMS OF MANIA, PROCEED WITH CAUTION

Episode 265 opens with an attempt at plot progression, returning to Morpheus who, last we checked, had been targeted by Kronos as the cliffhanger for Episode 259 before being shoved aside entirely for multiple episodes worth of Demophoon, pool-fucking, and a vision from Hera.

Honestly, I won't waste my 30 image limit on the episode's opening sequence because it accomplishes absolutely nothing. And by the time it starts to try and state what that goal is, it transitions away, because Rachel has the attention span of a squirrel on meth and having Morpheus state what her plan is would just be too much dedicated writing for her at this point, she needs another week at least to figure it out.

So instead we get exactly what was promised in the FastPass previews - the entire episode is spent, yet again, on Hades and Persephone, with the exact same topics, conclusions, and terrible sex as the pool scene.

Seriously, this might be a nitpick, but I'm so tired of Persephone not being allowed to swear. We've seen other characters swear. We've even had Kronos call her a "dumb fucking bitch". But this "girlboss" character who we're supposed to believe has "agency" can't be allowed to swear even when they're in an ACTUALLY STRESSFUL SITUATION? You know purity culture isn't exclusive to sex, right, Rachel? If you're gonna deconstruct it, maybe don't have the poster child of that deconstruction be relegated to a church girl? She's literally the Queen of the Underworld - adjacent to the ruler of Hell - let her fucking swear LMAO

Anyways, we see very quickly that Persephone is still feeling the ill effects of her anxiety that she was feeling in the last episode. Anxiety that, by the way, caused her to pass out. Please keep that in mind, don't let it escape.

And what is she stressing over? The genocide? The fact that they still don't have an actual solution to the ongoing "plague"?

Nah. The sleep dive. She's stressing over her husband doing the sleep dive again and - like last time - turning into a dad-possessed monster.

As always, the fear and anxiety is in no way linked to the actual devastation happening outside - it's just concern for the main male lead, because that's all Persephone's character and thoughts and opinions and "agency" can revolve around.

But uh. Remember that scene where Hades got possessed by Kronos and literally strangled her? Remember that scene I just asked you to keep in your brain about her panic attacks getting so bad she's been passing out?

Hello? No? Okay. Next.

I hate, I loathe, I detest this dialogue. Not because it's cliche as fuck - it is - but because the whole "I trust you, it's just xyz I don't trust" shit has been overplayed and debunked as a plausible response in relationship communication for years now.

We talked about this back during our discussion of Leuce - how it shouldn't matter if Persephone doesn't trust Leuce because ultimately Leuce can't do anything to her or Hades' relationship if it's built on as much "trust" as she claims it is, trusting Hades is all that should matter full stop - and it repeats itself here, albeit with Hades' dad instead of his canon first wife. This is a copout. Relationships actually built on trust can definitely still be worried about the issues posed by other people, but if you trust your partner, if you truly trust your partner, that's it. That's where the sentence ends. No shit you don't trust Kronos, we've been over this song and dance multiple times before and while he's definitely a bigger real threat than Leuce, your distrust for Kronos has nothing to do with how you're communicating with your partner who knows there's likely no other way and a solution has to be found. Nothing's being accomplished at this point from Persephone moping around and having sex with her husband, and he's showing 10x more initiative in actually finding a solution - even if it means putting his own safety at risk - than Persephone.

I didn't edit any of that, those are the legit real panels. Literally what the fuck is this dialogue, my tinfoil hat theory about LO being written by ChatGPT is becoming more and more plausible and I hate that, my crackpot theories shouldn't actually become reality.

Is there an owl in here?

LO is just spinning its wheels over the exact same conversation and points that have already been made. Nothing is being accomplished here, it's just more moping and going over the same problems - the centre of which being "what about H x P's relationship?? :(((("

All of that repetitive meandering and moping for "okay fine but if anything feels weird, get out" "okay". It, again, accomplishes nothing that couldn't have been accomplished during the pool scene.

And now we get this line. "I experienced greed in that way, and you do not possess it." Don't be alarmed if you were confused, I was confused too, as were many people in the discussion circles. Thanks to the ULO Discord, I realized she was talking about Apollo. She's literally comparing him to Apollo.

"After all this time, I can't comprehend you causing me harm. I've been at the receiving end of harm so I would know" is literally all she's trying to say. And even with it translated... I don't really like the implications of it at all. This has been a problem since S1, but there's always been this subtext in LO that because Hades didn't rape her, that somehow makes him less abusive or a better partner for Persephone than Apollo, that's all the SA has really been trying to achieve.

But Hades is abusive. He's intentionally pursued women who are in a crisis. He's trapped women in financial dependency. He's sabotaged women from having power and status on the same level as him.

And now, we're about to see actual abuse from Hades - the subtle kind that demands co-dependency, but is still abuse, full stop - but it's being framed as "romantic".

"Being an Originals creator was my big chance to prove myself, and I flopped"- wait sorry I misread. We're talking about Persephone failing at being Queen. Yeah, she definitely flopped. And it goes to show her true intentions in wanting to be Queen, now that she's hit rock bottom and isn't putting on a brave PR face - she wanted to become Queen not to make the Underworld a better place, not to be an example of being a better ruler among a gallery of scumbags, but to "prove" that she could belong and be one of the big guys, that she could be more than just a cereal box mascot.

Don't get me wrong, I can absolutely get wanting to rise above the odds and "prove" to everyone that you can be more than people's perceptions of you, but becoming the literal ruler of a realm that you then go on to destroy due to your own hubris, just to whine and cry about it and have your husband and your colleagues and your friends carry the burden of that destruction on your behalf... therapy would have been a better first step to overcoming those insecurities, not taking control over the lives of innocent people.

Especially when Persephone DID have status and power before becoming Queen, it just wasn't the specific kind of status and power she wanted. She was only a trust fund child with a huge net worth, a full-ride scholarship, and everything she could ever need provided to her with little struggle to get it - but she didn't have control over other people so it just wasn't good enough.

This is the perspective and attitude of a 19 year old who never matured. Who never could mature because she transitioned from her mother's control into Hades'. There were far better ways to prove herself, ways that we had seen her try to do, only to drop so she could pursue her co-dependent relationship with Hades - she gave up her schooling, gave up her apartment (which we only see her use maybe 2-3 times), gave up so many of her connections and support so she could be with Hades.

This is the result of 5 years of real-time grooming that we're seeing play out.

No, you are just saying them because she's your wife. You'd be saying it to Minthe, or Leuce, or Hera, or any other woman in Persephone's position because it's not about taking accountability, it's about keeping these women in a position of submissiveness and co-dependency, by giving them reassurance that nothing they ever do is wrong and that he's the only one that can give them that freedom from consequences.

And then we get the reinforcement.

I'm gonna spare you all the cringe of the actual sex scene (and yes, they do straight up go into having onscreen sex and it's... not hot at all), but here's some of the dialogue spoken by Hades during the entire sequence:

Again, let's remember the actual situation that led up to this and the position Persephone is currently in. For the third time Persephone has "accidentally" killed thousands of people. Over the past few episodes we've seen her try to realize how so many of these problems have been her fault and she clearly doesn't know how to make things right (and Rachel has made it obvious how much she doesn't want you to agree with this kind of self-awareness because much of it is being said through the mouthpiece of a rapist). And now we have Hades, reinforcing the thought patterns that would prevent her from growing and learning and changing. In this, a comic that's supposed to be "feminist", a comic that's trying to preach the importance of consent, a comic that's trying to make us believe this is a healthy, consenting relationship with strong communication skills.

These are literally grooming tactics. Hades is reinforcing the same thought patterns that will prevent Persephone from acknowledging her errors and mistakes. People are dying and Hades is telling her that if anyone has anything to say about it, they deserve to die anyways. The same man who literally rewarded her with sex for vandalizing a nymph's home is now telling her that she's not cruel, but kind:

Hades might not be Apollo, but he literally choked her out less than a week ago while possessed by his dad, and for the last SEVERAL episodes he's had the starry skin making him resemble who? Oh yeah, his dad.

Hades is literally holding Persephone in the same position Kronos did, while she's experiencing a literal meltdown that she's trying to stuff deep down - in fact, exhibiting a LOT of symptoms of mania - and initiating sex.

Doesn't this feel a little familiar?

Oh right, but he asks her if she's "still okay" mid sex only AFTER initiating chokehold sex with her without her consent and love-bombing her, so it's fine, clearly.

I remember being 17 years old and reading Fifty Shades of Grey for the first time, and even then understanding fully how toxic their relationship was. I can only hope the teenagers in Rachel's comment section can realize that as well, but judging by the comment section, I'm not holding out hope. This is literally "fifty shades of fucked up" material, and what's worse is that I can't tell if Rachel genuinely thinks this is healthy, or just doesn't realize how unhealthy it's coming across as. Even beyond how "cringe" this sequence is, it enters into the realm of being deeply uncomfortable and unsettling, and it needs to be talked about, Rachel can't be let off the hook for this especially when this is supposed to be, again, a comic that's intending to "deconstruct purity culture" and teach young girls about consent and boundaries.

And that's it, that's the end of the episode. It reads like the manifesto of a villain in the making at the hands of a predator, like Anakin being manipulated by Palpatine - "so long as you're with me, you'll have all the power, all the glory, and everyone else will be crushed underneath your heel."

Is that really the message we really want to come away from LO from? That it's fine for husbands to initiate sex with their wives through trauma-bonding and reinforcement of toxic thought patterns rooted in grooming because... they're married? That being a "girlboss" means sabotaging and abusing anyone who you perceive as a threat?

Is Hades really that much different from Apollo? Because so far, the line between his actions and Apollo's are seriously starting to blur. The parallels between Persephone and his past partners - Minthe and Hera - have always been clear, but they've never been quite so loud as last night's episode.

This is Hades' play, the play of a groomer and an abuser who depends on making their victims dependent on them - taking advantage of women while they're in a crisis.

For Minthe, it was financial - she had lost her job, blamed it on him, and he found a way to "solve her problem" that strategically put her into a position where she had to continue to financially depend on him for what's assumed to at least be a year or longer, through her apartment, her bills, and her job.

For Hera, it was emotional - she had chosen Zeus over him, and instead of addressing her marital concerns within the marriage, she participated in an affair with Hades in an attempt to have what she could have had if she had chosen Hades instead, a man who resembles her own abuser. Not only did this put her into a much more vulnerable position than him - if the affair was found out, Hera would have suffered the consequences far more than Hades - but it's also manifested itself into Persephone, who Hera has been using as a stand-in for herself, even going so far as to manipulate Persephone's image and how she goes about her decision-making, from intentionally pulling the strings to get Persephone a job with Hades so she could get closer to him as a "test" for Hades, to forcing Persephone to wear a wedding dress she wanted her to wear over the one Persephone had actually picked out herself.

And now there's Persephone, the newest addition to the cycle of abuse and untreated trauma, the true culmination of Hades' years trapping and manipulating women - financially dependent on him, emotionally dependent on him, and only where she is because she's made her entire identity revolve around him.

I'm not going to psychoanalyze Rachel in any way, I don't want anyone to think that this is permission to do so because Rachel's personal life is her own and I want to examine the material rather than the person. But so much of LO gives me such a gross impression that Rachel herself never matured past middle school, that she never grew beyond the mindset of being a 13 year old girl who felt like the entire world was against her and that no one could understand her, that she never gained the perspective most adults do by the time they're 25 at minimum after they've entered the "real world" and had the lived experiences that make you realize "wow, that girl I hated in high school for stealing my crush from me probably wasn't as bad as I thought she was and we were all just teenagers trying to navigate the hellscape that is adolescence."

And instead of actually analyzing those thought patterns and mindsets, Rachel is instead reinforcing it in her own audience of 13 year old girls and teenagers who will only hopefully maybe outgrow it and not just repeat the cycle themselves.

And this isn't entirely on Rachel's shoulders. It's on the shoulders of E.L. James, of Stephanie Meyer, of Colleen Hoover, of every "young adult" romance author who's peddled this strictly heteronormative "submission culture but not like the 1950's kind I swear" crap, that women should only aspire to find the richest man they can bag in their pursuit for power and after that everything in the world is owed to them and any problem they have can be solved by riding dick. Trauma? Solved. Genocide? Solved. The very real consequences of your own actions that affect others to such a degree that it will be felt for decades? Solved. Just ride that dick and get that money, girlboss.

Just like 50 Shades of Grey, if Lore Olympus was any other story, it would be a tragedy. It would be a masterclass in understanding and showcasing the signs of emotional abuse, financial abuse, grooming, trauma-bonding, love-bombing, and enforcing co-dependent habits for the sake of trapping people. It would be a precautionary tale to young girls to stay alert and be wary of older men, that men like Hades are depending on girls to fall for their tricks, their praise, their affirmations that they're so mature for their age, that they're not like other girls, that they would just be so set for life if they spent all their time and attention with them, so that they can "have it all".

I can only hope that even a third of the young girls who read LO naturally grow up, gain perspective, and learn that LO isn't the pillar of healthy relationships and consent that it tries to be. It's certainly a common thing to see these days, for people to join the UnpopularLoreOlympus / #antiloreolympus community with sentiments that they started reading it at age 14 and then (thankfully) learned that what LO was preaching wasn't healthy.

But for every other girl who doesn't realize this, it's reinforcement of the same cycles - the cycle of women being only objects for sex, pitting themselves against one another, confusing gender empowerment with abuse towards others, and making their entire identity revolve around a man and justifying it as healthy so long as it makes them rich and powerful.

Even if Rachel some day gets her own head out of her ass and realizes what damage she's causing in her audience, like Persephone committing genocide, no amount of self-awareness will undo the consequences. She'll still have the awards, the money, the accolades, everything she's gained off the backs of Greek myth, feminism, and good faith from an immature audience who doesn't know any better and isn't being given the tools to understand.

Even if she realizes that, that's something she's going to have to live with for the rest of her career.

And it's a fucking tragedy.

#lore olympus critical #anti lore olympus #antiloreolympus

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penaconys-hound · 27 days

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Obligatory RP Blog intro post

(Warning: Contains Spoilers for the end of 2.1)

——— Making a drink is a sensory skill. In dreams, creating fizzy concoctions requires adding a bit of your mood. Heavier if you're troubled, a touch sweeter if you're in high spirits... It's not just about mixing beverages. It's about mixing the experiences of life.

Gallagher's the name, I'm one of the local "Hounds" around here. Step into Penacony, the Land of Dreams, Nameless one.

Tired? Just find a place to sit and rest for a while. Let’s have a talk and I’ll mix something up for you.

But a few words of advice…

Don’t get lost in dreams, and not everything’s as it seems.

Guidelines, Key, Tags and Notes from the mod:

Guidelines:

-Fellow RP Blogs are allowed, uh hiii Star Rail RP community

-This is my first RP Blog after like a year or so (previous ones just died) so I may be rusty so apologies for that -Using tonetags would be appreciated, not required but appreciated, especially if you say something that could come off as rude but you don’t mean it in that tone, the mod can’t read tone through text.

-SFW only please, Suggestive themes are allowed with a warning however

-Gore’s on the table though, but only if the meme gets involved, or you somehow get a good reason for it, I don’t think Gallagher would just maul you out of nowhere- However since this takes place in the dreamscape blood will be described as water and that’s all that’s gonna spill out-

-Shipping is allowed, I’ll allow any ship unless it’s pr*ship or with Sunday, with the former it’s obvious on why I wouldn’t, gross. You’ll get hit on the offense side of Gallagher’s Ultimate if you try that.

But on Galladay it’s simply cause I’m just not super comfortable with using Gallagher x Sunday after 2.1, hope that’s understandable.

But yeah, as long as you’re follow the shipping rules the sky’s the limit, especially since I see Gallagher as bi

-Mod uses the CDT Timezone and is in education, but otherwise doesn’t have a life, so what I’m saying is the reply times may be random, could be within a minute or two, could be hours, so don’t be upset if an ask isn’t answered immediately

-Anything related to, but not limited to, racism, homophobia/transphobia, sexism, ableism, etc. Is not allowed here.

I’m serious if you come into the askbox with that you’ll get the “Dog” after you:

-Anons are welcome, you can even have a custom tag if you use a sign off and show up enough

-Magic Anons are allowed however only one can be active at a time and they have a 2-5 ask cooldown depending on what the effects where

-You can technically also ask the Meme on this blog, but don’t expect it to say anything other then *STABS YOU STABS YOU STABS YOU STABS YO

Key:

“ “ (Just plain text): Dialogue

“ “ (Same as above but in bold)/“ “ (Purple bold text): (what’s used is dependent on what’s exactly being said) 180 mode Dialogue

(The text for that was originally red however I changed it to purple for two reasons: Reason one being in the lore Acheron uses Red text sometimes and I think it’d be weird if I interacted with an Acheron and she also used red text,

and I changed it to purple specifically cause matches the Meme)

“* *” (Asterisks around text): Action/Movement

“// //“ (Two slashes around text): OOC/Mod talking

Tags:

#🥃bartenders rambles : In character posts/asks

#🐺barred fangs : In character posts/asks when Gallagher pulls the 180 (Aka going “villain” mode, I don’t personally think he’s evil but he can be very creepy in a villainous way and I love that) or basically just steps out of character in a way that’s intended and not bad mod RP

#👁️ The Dog. : Mentions/Discussion of the Memory Zone Meme “Something Unto Death”

#🐾mods yapping : Posts from the mod/OOC posts, not counting OOC moments in the tags of ask posts

#💫care for a drink under the stars? : Interaction reblogs/RPs, whatever with fellow Honkai: Star Rail RP blogs, can be in or out of character

#🪶hounds prey : Interactions with Sunday and/or Robin/Mentions of Sunday and/or Robin

#🧹the bellboy : (there was no mop emoji) Interactions with Misha/Mentions of Misha

(Tags may be added for specific characters and art RBs if I decide to do that, but for now that’s the tags)

Anon Tags:

#🍸 anon

#🥂 anon

#🍀 anon

Side Notes:

-If you’re wondering on the Mod’s pronouns if you didn’t read the bio, the Mod uses Any/All pronouns (like he/she/they/it etc. Idrc-)

-This will include headcanons, if it wasn’t obvious from the “I see Gally as Bi” comment

-It could possibly get OOC at times while I’m in character, I made the blog before 2.2, but I’m trying to stick to the character as well as I can, and if 2.2 changes his character again I’ll attempt to pull something to fit with that

-Mod will refer to himself ether as “The Mod” or “Mod Werewolf”

Other Blogs the Mod Runs if you’d like to check those out:

(disclaimer they’re not all the same fandom)

@the-coolest-character-in-hsr (Hanu from Honkai: Star Rail)

@trash-president-real (Trash President (OC) Honkai: Star Rail)

Anyways hope you enjoy the blog, and avoid getting stabbed by the meme

#🐾mods yapping #Why am I slightly nervous about doing this-#But it’d be a waste to take the username then just. Not launch the blog #So here we go #Plus there are like no Gallagher’s I’ve seen in the RP community-#Guess I need to be him #honkai star rail #honkai star rail roleplay #hsr rp blog #hsr rp #hsr gallagher #gallagher #gallagher hsr

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quanticq · 7 months

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Hey Q! Sorry for bothering you, but for some reason I can no longer find any of your tik tok accounts 😭 Did they get deleted or something?

Hi this is Q! I’m coming out of the woodwork to address this, since I did went radio silent out of the blue so it’s not a bother at all

The short answer is Yes, I deleted my tiktok

Yes delete not deactivate, I’m not coming back to That app or IG or Twt, I deleted my socials except here and YouTube, I honestly felt so overwhelmed with everything, I realized I’m not even posting for myself anymore there. A lots of people crossed my boundaries time and time again I felt so helpless, bitter with myself. I guess I was just overwhelmed with the attention I got; both positive and negatives ones.

Im done and I want to start over so that’s why I’m here and on YouTube, I already posted some of these on my community tab on YT but here’s what I have in mind for the future of the content I want to create: more detail under the cut, and also;

CW: very brief mention of spiraling, harm inflict oneself or others, paranoia, etc

•Long-form content: my attention span is a bit messed up from consuming and making short-form content to the point where I can’t focus in university. I want to create something meaningful. It’s not that my previous content was not meaningful, no. I had fun and no time is wasted when I have fun, it was warm… but as I mentioned earlier, I just felt this lingering bitterness the longer I stayed making those short-form content. It really felt like I was on the verge of losing it. Especially with how the bigger following I have the less people think of me as a person than just another content creator you see on the internet,

I want to create long-form content, I’m so tired of forcing myself to generate 15 second content. On tiktok it just feels like I’m just creating and not really connecting. I want to try something new, maybe create an open space for meaningful discussion in the comments. I don’t think I can stand another copy-paste tiktok comment anymore. You know what I meant if you’re frequent on that app.

•Art Content with Commentary: and don’t worry this won’t be those petty artist drama issue, but I will still cover anything serious

it could be love letters or video essays ranging from fan fictions, fandom culture, the art scene and so much more. I may even share a bit of my personal life, this will be self indulgent after all! I want to make it fun for myself and as well to those who comes across my channel. I really REALLY want to create a genuine following.

On tiktok it’s so easy to gain following but not so easy to retain them, it’s mostly because of the algorithm and the FYP feature there.

On Tiktok most content that would get featured as an artist there would be creative work has to be either; more than exceptional which is pressuring enough already to consistent posters, straight up suggestive content shown to minors (tiktok doesn’t really have a blocked keywords feature but it’s so disheartening to see these creators intentionally not using the sensitive warning since it could limit their reach significantly) oh yes we can’t forget the negativity surrounding beginner artists or “art lore”

All of this cesspool of negativity, it’s a whole can of worms but it will be one of my prominent topics that I wish to discuss in my future art commentaries. I hope you guys are looking forward to those! I might bring in a few people or so to talk about it with me

and finally;

•Streaming: I used to do a lot of streams during the weekends on the clock app and it was super fun! I want to bring that back but that would have to wait since I’m unfamiliar with some features on YouTube, and I’m aware that YT does not have a discoverable feature for stream but that’s alright, I want to start something small first.

In short; I’ll figure it out! just need some baby steps before I start streaming again.

I apologize for deleting everything out of the blue, if I’m gonna be honest it was partially planned because I’ve been thinking about deleting my tiktok, twitter and Instagram for a while now but how it happened? In my breakdown I realized that I don’t want anyone to see me spiral, especially now that I realized how young my audience are, I’m not sure how that happened but I guess posting fandom contents does attract the young ones somehow inevitably, even though my content is nowhere near as suggestive, but I do talk about serious topics from time to time… but I digress, its not fair for them to deal with me if they see me spiral publicly,

it is especially not fair to them to console me. When I was younger than 14, I’ve been in a position where I have to talk down someone who was older, maybe 4-5 years older than me, from harming themselves or anyone, it was traumatizing and unpleasant. I don’t wish for anyone to go through that, it’s very painful.

It’s been… hard for me to ground myself. Ive been seeing things through a kaleidoscope of emotions; I was trying to focus on everything but it’s just too overwhelming so eventually I cracked. But please don’t worry I’ve been doing better now, after some time away from my online persona, and of course spending time with my beloved girlfriend, I see things much more clearly now.

Thank you to anyone who read this and much so appreciate those who understand where I’m coming from

Also now that I think of it can my stuff be considered as lost media now? Amazing! But please don’t be sad the fun I had was genuine!

Thank you again to those who genuinely enjoyed my content on tiktok but it’s time for me to try my hand at something new, I will still be dwelling in my creative headspace just.. away from public for now,

if you’re looking forward for my future post, make sure to check out my YouTube! I still have a lot I need to cook hehe, this is one of the few!

More post soon, Bye bye! -Q

#vent #mental health #mentions of unhealthy habits #I’m not sure how to tag these but I’ll try my best!#social media #q myers #tiktok #burnt out #creative fatigue #sorry for the rant #rant #content creator #art community

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vendetta-if · 1 year

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Turning A Year Older 🎉 Thank You for An Amazing Year

I have planned to write this post on New Year, but I ended up being too busy with the Chapter 4 Public Update and the upcoming fixes after it.

So, I suppose, there is no other better time to write and post this than on my birthday today 🥳🎂 I just want to say thank you so much everyone for all the support, the likes, reblogs, lovely asks, and follows! 🥰

When I first launched the demo for Vendetta back in July 2022, I certainly didn’t expect my story to gain so much following in such a short amount of time. I had expected to write this as a side-hobby activity, but I was wrong.

Seeing all of your amazing asks, comments, and enthusiasm for my story really motivated and pushed me to write more and soon, I spend and dedicate more and more of my time, effort, and energy into it and it becomes one of the priorities in my life currently.

Sure it can get tiring and hard sometimes, trying to juggle my daily activities and ending up having to write until 3 AM most of the time, but I know it’s going to be worth it every time, reading you guys’ reactions and comments. Even now, it still feels surreal seeing you guys liking, loving, discussing, and interested in the characters and lore of the world that were once only existed in my head.

So, thank you everyone, for making my last six months memorable and amazing ☺️❤️ I have deeply enjoyed interacting with all of you, through asks, comments on thread and Patreon, and chatting with you directly in my Discord server. I hope this year, our community can grow even further and for my writing process to go smoothly, and praying that there’ll be no serious IRL stuff that would get in the way and for no writer’s block or anything 🙏

Love you guys and stay safe! ❤️

#writing updates #writing thoughts #personal stuff #if: vendetta #vendetta if #if game #if wip #dashingdon #choicescript

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dramarising-replacement · 5 months

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Auraboas Community Focused Racism Rant (Because IDK if the one on SMR Will Go Through0

(first time submitting so I'm sorry if I did something wrong)

Out of the whole Auraboas situation, it was incredibly frustrating to see how staff was willing to bend over to whatever the hell some random ass people had to say about their feelings on the Auraboas. If you aren't indigenous or Latine, for the love of all things good, shut the fuck up.

The person who started the whole "Auraboas and racism" thread is Japanese and has no right to be talking about what Indigenous/Latine people want to come out of the Auraboas. In the same thread, I saw people saying "my Indigenous friends said-". No. I don't care. There is no way to prove that and even if you all were telling the truth, a lot of miscommunication can happen that can and will lead to more harm. If your Indigenous friends say that "hey! that lore was a little weird but I don't want to be harassed, can you use the privilege that you have to bring it to people's attention?", that is great! But you can't just be telling staff what they should do about it. That is up to the Indigenous people and Latine people in the FR community. Every non-Indigenous and/or non-Latine who was involved in that thread and in the overall discussion about how to address the situation were overstepping. Double shame on you if you were patting non-Indigenous/non-Latine people, who were all speaking over us, on the back because I did see that happen outside of FR forums.

Next time, wait until the affected groups give their input on what should be done. It's okay to bring up the issue if you have friends who are affected by the issue but are afraid of harassment, but you shouldn't be speaking on behalf of an entire community if you aren't apart of it. In short, it's okay to start a discussion but what is not okay is to decide on how to end it when you aren't going to be facing the consequences of it.

When something like this happens again, ask what affected groups have to say. Examples of what is and isn't okay (heavily exaggerated to get my point across):

"The Auraboa lore was weird and had racist undertones. I am not affected by the lore but I spoke to a few Indigenous and Latine friends and they said that it also made them uncomfortable... So I took it upon myself to tell you why without asking what they said made them feel uncomfortable but instead, what made me feel uncomfortable!!! Please fix this immediately by adding skirts to their heads instead of headdresses and re-write the lore in this specific way!!!" NO!!!! STOP RIGHT THERE.

"The Auraboa lore was weird and had racist undertones. I am not affected by the lore but I spoke to a few Indigenous and Latine friends and they said that it also made them uncomfortable. I want to hear what the Indigenous and Latine people of FR have to say and give them a chance to voice their opinions and what should be done!" YES! GREAT JOB! YOU'RE BEING A GOOD ALLY!

I do agree that FR needs to hire sensitivity writers and has a long ways to go. But the FR community also has issues with speaking over marginalized groups and having an ENORMOUS White Savior complex.

-Sincerely,

A tired Hispanic person with Indigenous roots that are lost to time because yay! Colonization!

#Drama #Rant #Flight Rising #Cursing #Sarcasm #Staff #Lore #Long post

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saltminerising · 5 months

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Auraboas Community Focused Racism Rant

(first time submitting so I'm sorry if I did something wrong)

Out of the whole Auraboas situation, it was incredibly frustrating to see how staff was willing to bend over to whatever the hell some random ass people had to say about their feelings on the Auraboas. If you aren't Indigenous or Latine, for the love of all things good, shut the fuck up.

When something like this happens again, ask what affected groups have to say. Examples of what is and isn't okay (heavily exaggerated to get my point across):

"The Auraboa lore was weird and had racist undertones. I am not affected by the lore but I spoke to a few Indigenous and Latine friends and they said that it also made them uncomfortable. I want to hear what the Indigenous and Latine people of FR have to say and give them a chance to voice their opinions and what should be done!" YES! GREAT JOB! YOU'RE BEING A GOOD ALLY!

If I see this shit happen again, I will personally come to all of your houses and burn them down in Minecraft.

-Sincerely,

A tired Hispanic person with Indigenous roots that are lost to time because yay! Colonization!

#submission #forums #long post #ancient mystery

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winns-stuff · 11 months

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LO RANT:

Can we just talk about how incredibly insensitive and blissfully ignorant some fans are about trigger warnings for these very heavy and touchy subjects? Listen I’ve never been so disappointed in my damn life about this stuff, how are you going to read a comic about all of this heavy stuff that happens to people in real life yet also want people who’ve been affected by said topics to shut up or disengage from the comic completely. Y’all are giving this grown woman too much coddling at this point and it’s distressing, Rachel is a grown woman and it’s not like anyone forced her to put these topics into her story she understands (I hope but I say this loosely) that these discussions can be harder to experience for some people rather than others which is why trigger warnings exist and why you give your millions of fans who all come from very DIFFERING experiences than your own a trigger warning to warn them so their day won’t be demolished.

People have a right to call that shit out and if you don’t need the trigger warning good for you, stop acting like these people are insulting the comic by asking for one. It’s not like people are asking her to make a whole around the world trip in one day they are simply just asking for a damn trigger warning. I’m getting so extremely tired of Lore Olympus fans still not getting or even trying to understand this, these people understand that this comic handles serious things but just because Rachel has been “forgetting” the trigger warnings and they don’t want her allowing her fans to go head first into disturbing content doesn’t mean they want their hand held. Also, for the people saying that they should know when those scenes come up you make no sense anyways because you really can barely tell when scenes like these are coming without a trigger warning. The Demeter thing took me by surprise, so did Hera’s story, so did Demeter’s backstory, so did Hades’ shitty apology, etc. The amount of times that I got blindsided by serious topics such as those being dropped into the comic is way too fucking many to count so please don’t try and hide behind that excuse. There’s millions of fans out there who don’t expect shit like this just because you’ve been studying Lore Olympus and got down the mannerisms of the characters before something disturbing or traumatic is coming up doesn’t mean others do.

I’m sorry if I come off rash or meaner in this post I’m just extremely over this whole thing. I am a person that needs trigger warnings as well and last night I watched a video, thinking it would be funny, that ended up harming me. It was a “health” video and it was basically someone telling the viewers that regular human things happening to you is a sign of a painful death, I remember being so mortified that I felt my blood running cold and my heart pounding in my ears. If you didn’t know I’m very anxious, paranoid, and an overall hypochondriac so I don’t do well with shit like that coming up and randomly making itself known. I know many people probably wouldn’t care but I just wanted to let you guys know why trigger warnings are so useful and important to those that need them. Last night my body entered flight or fight mode just by that video alone and I was absolutely panicked, I was in so much distress and it was all because of one video. It only takes one chapter without a trigger warning to trigger worser things than that and we should all be mindful of that fact.

Again, sorry if all of this is aggressive or mean I didn’t mean anything by it I just wish that fans did better. It’s sad seeing them put down others for genuine concerns and it’s even sadder that Rachel does not do anything about it. There’s only so much toxic positivity you can fill up before there’s no real community left and there’s way too many fans who deserve at least a trigger warning with these things it really doesn’t take long to make and it could genuinely save people from these experiences such as mine.

Moral of the story is if you don’t need trigger warnings don’t bag on people who do, they’re not sensitive you just don’t share the same experiences as them and you don’t know what their background is at all. Be mindful that everyone isn’t you, respectfully.

#lo critical #anti lore olympus #anti lo #lore olympus critical

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bloody-red-gem · 12 days

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I remembered some funny (in a bad way) things that ppl constantly wrote in r/40kLore, when I still used my Reddit account. This community has always been a treasure trove of cringe.

BEHOLD, THE OVERUSED DISCUSSION, EVERYONE IS SO TIRED OF: "DO THE SPACE MARINES HAVE SEX?"

Not only these guys brought up this topic every month, but they typed such idiotic things that I wanted to hit my head on the table.

My favorites:

1) "Space Marines don't have balls/genitals, they're basically smooth Ken dolls."

By the Dark Gods, where did they even get that from... And who then are their smooth Barbies?!

2) "They're sterile, so they can't have sex."

I think I studied some wrong things in medical university for 5 years. How can you confuse "sterile" with "impotent"? "Sterile" men can't have children - not sex! And yes, Astartes are canonically unable to conceive.

3) "Even Slaaneshi CSMs are not interested in sex, only in killing and torture."

Lots of excerpts from various novels and other lore bits where they're described having sex/relationship with each other, daemons and their slaves - are we a joke to you? Or do these guys need detailed E-rated scenes to understand it?

The self-proclaimed lore messiahs also love to say: "Slaanesh is not about sex! Stop constantly talking about it!"

The joke is - I almost never saw anyone who would say that, but, again, this topic was brought up constantly. Basically purists' neuron activation posts.

Damn, Slaanesh IS about sex AND other things (torture, art, music: excesses and hedonism in everything) too! But some people outright try to exclude this specific aspect when it's absolutely wrong. Because "no s*x in my Christian incel fantasy, no-no, sir!"

One person typed that Kasperos Telmar, aka The Radiant King, had "harem" of daemon "courtesans" and mentioned his "lovers".

This is where I died: some prude answered this person that "it was not specified that The Radiant did anything sexual with them!"

OF COURSE, YOU DO NOTHING SEXUAL WITH YOUR HAREM OF HOT BOVINE-CRUSTACEAN-WOMEN! THEY WERE JUST PLAYING REGICIDE UNDER THE BLANKET! EVERY CHAOS LORD DOES IT, WDYM?

#I died from cringe #need a necromancer now #space marines #chaos space marines #slaanesh #warhammer 40k #warhammer 40000

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masterqwertster · 9 months

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#30 from the vague angst prompts.

With the most recent episode, I'd love to see it as a Bell's Hells pov companion to Healing Winds from your prompt collection (chapter 36 on AO3).

You know, I have been vaguely thinking about that since it was asked about in the comment-notes here when I first posted it. And even more with the new lore on the poison. I mean, I had kind of figured in a background sense that Zephrah would know an antidote given they'd been attacked before, but having canon lay it out nice and clear was vindicating. So sure Bells Hells POV for Healing Winds 30 "You're okay. You've got to be okay. You've got to be. You're okay. Please. Please be okay."

You're okay. You've got to be okay. You've got to be. You're okay. Please. Please be okay, Fearne mentally chants as she flies over Zephrah on the tail-feathers of Maeve to get more of that blue flower to make the anti-venom for the poison back to the healers tending Orym.

All that matters is getting her best friend back.

It's why the rest of Bells Hells had sent the druids ahead on swift wings. They were racing the clock and the quickest form of travel in Zephrah was the air. Imogen would have cast Fly on half the party to get everyone there faster, but their haste in the collection meant that magic had been burned through to force any opposition out of their way.

Please be okay, Orym, Fearne prays as she hits the ground running.

_____________________________________________________

They take turns camping out in Orym's room, waiting for him to wake. Nobody wants him to come around alone and in pain.

Ashton takes on more watches as the days march by.

The elemental air here drags at him, wearing away at his daily energy. And he hadn't even noticed on Bells Hells' first visit because he'd just been too busy to even think about the slight discomfort of Zephrah's air. But with nothing to do but wait for Orym, that opposing element and its effect on him makes itself known.

The druids recommended that Ashton spend as much time in contact with the earth around Zephrah to help lessen the elemental disconnect that being here put them through. Which is why Ashton has their bare feet resting in one of Alma's pots filled with dirt while they laid watch (they were too fucking tired and achy and grumpy to sit watch). At least the sunlight is nice and warm.

When Ashton hears rustling in the little halfling-sized bed, a faint grin tugs his lips. His family is on the mend and that fucking clock for their departure is finally ticking down.

_____________________________________________________

They've discussed it in private moments, a chain of quiet communication.

Orym is haunted in his hometown.

It hadn't been so obvious in the first trip as he'd shown them the place he once called home, the people he called family. And then they'd been too busy working to really say they were staying here.

But it's abundantly clear now, trapped by his recovery. They can all see the sadness in his eyes, how he tracks ghosts they can't see.

So it's really no trouble at all to form the beginnings of an escape plan. A plan to get Orym away from his ghosts to somewhere he can rest a little easier.

Laudna volunteers to broach the subject with Orym. After all, she knows all about homes that haunt you after the death you've seen there. None of the others are more suited to broaching that subject than her.

She finds her moment sitting peaceably with Orym on a bench under a cherry tree. There's clear want to leave in his eyes once the idea is out there. But, like the dutiful man he is, he quashes his own desires to obey the healers' orders.

For now.

______________________________________________________

Patience is something Chetney's good at.

You can't rush quality, after all.

So it isn't a problem to take time to carve Orym a cane to help him get around while he recovers. No trouble to sit an idle watch while the halfling frustrates himself running up against his current limits. Not an issue to remind Orym that sometimes, time is an ally and not an enemy.

Fuck, they've been racing the clock for so long that these kids are forgetting how to slow down. Except maybe Ashton. Though that might be more because Chetney's impromptu stone backrest is too tired to go fast than an actual decision to slow down.

Eh, they'll get there.

In the meantime, those other slackers out there can finally pull their own weight in this Ruby Vanguard bullshit instead of piling it all on Bells Hells.

______________________________________________________

Imogen watches Fresh Cut Grass and Alma bustle through the halfling-sized kitchen, preparing lunch.

It's taken some getting used to, hanging around in a house meant for people a little more than half her size. For example: She's sitting at the kitchen table with a dozing Ashton, but neither of them are using actual chairs, instead sitting on large cushions on the ground to keep the table at a reasonable comparative height. It's a strange reversal of what the world must be like for Orym, Chet, and FCG, where everything is twice as big as what they can comfortably use.

And Imogen doesn't want to be rude when Alma has so kindly put up with their fussing and hanging around, but she's ready to get out of this cramped space and all the hovering worry they're held in as Orym recovers. She doesn't need to read the others' minds to know they're ready to leave at the drop of a hat too.

Bells Hells is just waiting on stubborn, dutiful Orym.

Lucky them, it turns out he's cracking under medical house arrest and ready to escape too.

______________________________________________________

Fearne is always excited for a new adventure with her friends.

She's even more excited for some heartfelt mischief.

Orym's finally well enough to get back to adventuring, and bored enough to actually leave. And sneaking away is definitely fun, the thrilling race against being caught. But, there are people here who love Orym and will be sad when he leaves and worry if he just disappears, even if the rest of Bells Hells disappears with him.

So she made a little plot, a little plan, to make sure the important people get to see them off. And not, like, the important important people, like the Voice of the Tempest, but the personally important people, Orym's family.

It was definitely worth the planning and sneaking to see Orym cry happy tears. They're much better than the sad ones Orym's been holding in while they've been here.

Leaving on a happy note is the best way to go, if you ask Fearne.

#MQ&A #MQfic #critical role #bells hells #orym of the air ashari #fearne calloway #ashton greymoore #laudna #chetney pock o'pea #imogen temult #fcg #vague angst quote prompt

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kingedmundsroyalmurder · 5 months

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"For the next three weeks Eric Marshall seemed to himself to be living two lives, as distinct from each other as if he possessed a double personality. In one, he taught the Lindsay district school diligently and painstakingly; solved problems; argued on theology with Robert Williamson; called at the homes of his pupils and took tea in state with their parents; went to a rustic dance or two and played havoc, all unwittingly, with the hearts of the Lindsay maidens."

Okay, so he is still putting in the bare minimum effort with the rest of his life. Fair enough! I am wildly curious about the 'argued theology with Robert Williamson' bit though. That comes out of nowhere. Is 'argued theology' just what LMM reaches for when she wants people to be having interesting discussions?

"Here every evening he met Kilmeny; in that old orchard they garnered hours of quiet happiness together; together they went wandering in the fair fields of old romance; together they read many books and talked of many things; and, when they were tired of all else, Kilmeny played to him and the old orchard echoed with her lovely, fantastic melodies."

Look, I know montages exist for a reason, but gosh it would be nice if we saw any of this. You can't just say your characters got to know each other and have chemistry, you have to actually show us it happening.

I think this is an artifact of LMM's inexperience as a writer, actually. Again, I am girl who has only ever read The Blue Castle, but by the time she was writing TBC she had become much, much better at writing montage. The montages there are done in snippets and images. Tiny excerpts of adventures or conversations stitched together into a tapestry of an unfurling relationship. We're not just told that Barney and Valancy are comfortable and happy with each other, we're shown a dozen moments of them being delighted by each other. A more experienced Maud could absolutely have taken the above excerpt and turned it into half a chapter at least of description of Eric and Kilmeny's growing relationship.

Not her fault though. We all start somewhere!

Shame it had to be here though:

"She was never in the same mood twice. Now she was grave, now gay, now stately, now pensive. But she was always charming. Thrawn and twisted the old Gordon stock might be, but it had at least this one offshoot of perfect grace and symmetry. Her mind and heart, utterly unspoiled of the world, were as beautiful as her face. All the ugliness of existence had passed her by, shrined in her double solitude of upbringing and muteness."

1- There are only so many moods a person can have, especially if we assume Kilmeny doesn't get to have any of the ugly ones like anger and sadness and fear. This could just as easily have been rendered, "Kilmeny's mood changed by the day. Some evenings she was grave, others gay, pensive and stately each in their turn. Eric found himself charmed by each of them." Still not great, but just a tiny bit more humanizing and real.

2- Eric... doesn't know the Gordons. He has laid eyes on Thomas Gordon like twice and never spoken to him. He has never so much as seen Janet Gordon. What is this nonsense about their stock being ~twisted~? (I mean, I know what it is, but what it is is gross and I refuse to legitimize it.)

3- Kilmeny can communicate perfectly well. Her solitude is purely the result of upbringing. She is friendly and loving; if she'd been allowed into the community she would have so many friends, muteness or no.

"In manner and outlook she was still a child. Yet now and again she was as old as Eve. An expression would leap into her laughing face, a subtle meaning reveal itself in her smile, that held all the lore of womanhood and all the wisdom of the ages."

I'm sorry, we have reached 'Victor Hugo rhapsodizes about the womanly mysteries of being 15' levels of nonsense. This is literally meaningless. ~the lore of womanhood and all the wisdom of the ages~. Please.

"Her way of smiling enchanted him. The smile always began far down in her eyes and flowed outward to her face like a sparkling brook stealing out of shadow into sunshine."

This is also mostly meaningless, but at least it's nice. Again, LMM is clearly early in her career and hasn't quite figured out how to manage her prose yet.

"Of Neil, she wrote frequently at first, and seemed very fond of him. Later she ceased to mention him. Perhaps—for she was marvellously quick to catch and interpret every fleeting change of expression in his voice and face—she discerned what Eric did not know himself—that his eyes clouded and grew moody at the mention of Neil’s name."

Translation: she realized that her second friend in the entire world didn't like her talking about her first friend and so stopped doing so. We get the sense that Kilmeny is very used to molding herself to her family's expectations, so what's one more eggshell to tiptoe over? Margaret got explosively angry, Neil apparently gets explosively angry -- assuming we can trust Robert Williamson's account -- so why would she not expect Eric to also get explosively angry when she says something wrong?

So Eric brings her books, at her request, but he seems to be bringing her books that he wants her to read, not ones she requests. If they have a conversation about what kind of books she'd like, it happens offscreen. We know that she likes poetry, but she never seems to get the option to request, say, books about nature or science or history if she wants them. It's all poetry and novels from Eric. Which she does seem to like, but she still has no agency here. She learns only what her gatekeepers to the outside world allow her to learn, no more.

“No,” said Eric—honestly, as he thought, “but every one has an ideal of love whom he hopes to meet some day—‘the ideal woman of a young man’s dream.’ I suppose I have mine, in some sealed, secret chamber of my heart.”

Queer awakening Eric has re-entered the chat! 'I promise I do like girls, really, I'm just waiting for the magical, perfect one that even I couldn't describe if you asked me to. I'll know her when I see her, honest! No, none of these actual women are doing it for me, why do you ask?'

" A new book, savouring of the shop and market-place, however beautiful it might be, would not do for you. This was one of my mother’s books."

Again, Kilmeny doesn't get to learn new things or explore on her own. She is bound by what others think she should be. What if she wants to read new books? What if she wants to find out about scientific discoveries and modern fashion and any number of other things? But she can't, because Kilmeny isn't her own person, she's an extension of first her mother and now, slowly, Eric's mother. She can't exist in the present because she is lashed to two dead women who will never experience it.

So Eric reads Kilmeny a love story and confirms to her that he could only love a beautiful woman. She then refuses the book and says this:

“Do not be offended with me. I shall not need anything to make me remember you because I can never forget you. But I would rather not take the book. I do not want to read it again. It is about love, and there is no use in my learning about love, even if it is all you say. Nobody will ever love me. I am too ugly.”

So this is Kilmeny's deep fear. Unlike literally everyone else in her life, she is not particularly upset by her disability and she doesn't think it holds her back in life. Instead, she thinks she is physically ugly. This, to her, is the worst possible thing and the reason why she doesn't want to leave her family's property and see the world. And now Eric, her one tie to the outside world, has confirmed for her that she is right -- beauty is the most important thing she can have, and the fact that she is ugly means that no one will ever love her and there's no point even trying.

" Mother told me that I was very ugly and that nobody would ever like to look at me." Hard yikes.

So Margaret broke all the mirrors in the house when Kilmeny was born, and I guess Thomas and Janet and Neil are fine with never having mirrors to do their hair or shave with. Kilmeny has seen her reflection only in spoons and silver bowls -- rounded objects that distort her face and make her believe that she really is ugly. And not just plain -- no one says the word deformed, but clearly that is the intended message. She thinks she is Quasimodo or the Phantom of the Opera: so impossibly hideous that the only thing she can do is hide herself away forever to spare the world the pain of seeing her.

And, of course, she is so objectively, earth-shatteringly beautiful that every person she meets can't help staring at her and confirming her fears. Of course.

Also I think Neil has a crush on her and I hate it: " Even Neil does. He tells me I am kind and nice, but one day I asked him if he thought me very ugly, and he looked away and would not speak, so I knew what he thought about it, too."

"Eric had met Neil Gordon a few evenings before this, at a country dance where Neil had played the violin for the dancers. Influenced by curiosity he had sought the lad’s acquaintance. Neil was friendly and talkative at first; but at the first hint concerning the Gordons which Eric threw out skilfully his face and manner changed. He looked secretive and suspicious, almost sinister. A sullen look crept into his big black eyes and he drew his bow across the violin strings with a discordant screech, as if to terminate the conversation. Plainly nothing was to be found out from him about Kilmeny and her grim guardians."

Look, clearly this is LMM setting Neil up as ~suspicious~ and as having bad intentions, but let's think about this from a Watsonian perspective, shall we? Neil lives in a village where everyone has been abusively racist to him his entire life. He was bullied in school, no one trusts him, he doesn't seem to have personal friends. He isn't even at the dance socially, he is providing the music. The only time people seek out his company is to pump him for information about his cousin Kilmeny. Kilmeny is young, vulnerable, trusting, and disabled. This is not a community that, in Neil's experience, treats people whom they consider to be Other well at all. Why would he not assume the worst? 'No, you don't get to know anything at all about my cousin, who is kinder and better than all of you put together. Get lost.'

#kilmeny of the orchard #kilmeny readalong #This is honestly a place where lmm evolves over time #Her heroines start getting less classically beautiful and it's not a defect #Sorry for the very long post!

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fantomette22 · 1 year

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Ahh, I'm glad...! It is always good to take breaks, even with things you love, so please do so when you feel tired! I am one of your followers, yes, but I just got into bloodborne super recently and I feel a bit shy jumping into an already established community, especially since I don't really have much to offer it at the moment. The fact that there are active people at all thrilled me to bits! I'm sure with time I will get more comfortable with engaging!

You're right ! Breaks are important.

Oh I wouldn't have guess at first that you were a newcomer ! This is even more amazing.

And don't worry about that, take the times you need ! I first begin to play Bloodborne well one year ago now ;) but I began to really interact with the fandom and share stuff in May/June 2022. The time to finish the game for the first time after 100hours, dig in the lore researches and all. Make little stories in my head (if you just begin playing the game all the things we're sharing might be super confusing too XD)

It's also really cool to look at things around (some lore podcasts and a few things that the community made taught me so many things!) but it's even more important to look at the game on your own, take the time to analyze, learn and come up with your own ideas! Ideas you could share afterwards and discuss with everyone. And to look at many differents and diverse ideas as possible I believe.

The amazing thing with Bloodborne and fromsoftware games is that it's a puzzle with lot of missing pieces. There's so many unique things we can imagined and theorized about the universe that could fit. I want to believe that if any ideas don't contradict anything directly it's a valid idea and it should to consider, talk about (it's ok to disagree about some too but not to impose anything. It's important to respect people and what they can come up with).

Also I think you're probably playing the game right ? Well if you got an online subscription and need a little help with it... it will be my pleasure to help ! 👋

#my asks #personal #bloodborne #hope to talk soon with you anon!#yeah I'm not the newbie anymore ! >:D for real it doesn't matter what you brings to the table and your support is enough #+ little circle of cool people <3 #some people just stay casual too and that's cool too #anon asks

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raven-at-the-writing-desk · 2 years

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Hey Raven! I appreciated and loved reading your thoughts regarding your recent Twst dating sim asked! What stood out the most to me as someone who is aromantic is how you questioned how romantic love is more powerful/influential compared to platonic love.

I love Twst so much because even if you decide to ship some characters (canon x canon, oc x canon, and so on), it's still inclusive of everyone. You still get to have platonic relationships, even when it's hinted at some "romance" moments. It focuses on platonic relationships and how important it is to heal and work through your problems.

If Twst was a dating sim, I believe it would reinforce amatonormativity and that the boys are only interested in you because they want to date you. Not only would there be a good chance that it would be targeted towards a predominately female audience, which would exclude the male and nonbinary audience that makes up a large portion of the community as well; it would forsake all the hard work the lore has already created.

Not everything has to be romantic, romance is Not the end goal. It's fine to want to ship with the characters, in fact, I encourage it. But if Twst was Just a dating sim, it wouldn't be exclusive to those who identify as aromantic. With just how much everyday media is centered around romance, friends to lovers, "true love conquers all" etc, Twst being a dating sim would feel so exclusive and constricting. I apologize if this seems a bit more emotional than logical thinking. I'm just an aro who is so tired of everything having to be centered around romance or the forced ideology that romantic love will fix all of your problems when it won't.

Platonic attraction/love is so important in stories like these for me because not everything is about romance. But I also think it's important to the other side as well because there are some aplatonic and asexuals within the Twst community! I would love to hear any of their opinions on this as well and see what they think

Anyways I apologize for the ramble but I rlly do enjoy reading thru your posts and seeing the conversation it's creating ! I hope you have a good day/night

[Referencing this post!]

Before I respond to this proper, I want to quickly define some terms that this Anon used in their ask for my readers!

Aromantic means one has little or no interest or desire for romantic relationships. Aplatonic means one has little or no interest or desire for friendships. Asexual means one has little or no interest or desire to engage in sexual activities.

***PLEASE NOTE: as is the case with all sexualities, these definitions are NOT extremes or binaries; they are on a spectrum. Every person is different and we should not make broad assumptions about those that identify as any of the above.***

Amatonormativity is a set of social assumptions that everyone prospers in long-term exclusively romantic relationships. It assumes that amorous relationships are the norm and the expectation.

And with that done, now to the ask itself! ^^ I think you brought up a lot of interesting points for discussion.

I completely agree that romantic love is something that is heavily promoted in all forms of media. It’s often portrayed in a way that undermines the importance of friendships and familial love, or in a way that holds romantic love up as the pinnacle of ALL forms of love. Because of that, it can, quite understandably, feel extremely alienating for those that experience little to no romantic attraction. Aromantics sometimes end up thinking they’re the ones that are “broken”, since they cannot feel what everyone else seems to be feeling. I see you, I hear you, andI understand you.

As I’ve said before, a BIG draw of TWST for many is that it’s pretty open-ended in terms of the types of relationships you can have with its characters. You can ship as many people as you want with whoever you want, and you can avoid shipping them altogether if that’s what you prefer. You can have romance if you want, and you can have friendships if you want. You can be male, female, nonbinary, trans, straight, gay, aro, ace, bi, whatever you want to be. You can truly have it YOUR way just like at Burger King, and we’re lovin’ it just as Ronald McDonald would want us to for that. Everyone can be included.

I really love how TWST appeals to so many different people! 🥰 And I definitely think that platonic love deserves more of a spotlight in media; it’s very underrepresented compared to romantic love. That’s what amplifies TWST’s greatness--it can tell complex stories with deep and compelling characters without necessarily having romantic love as the centerpiece for the narrative. At the same time, people can still enjoy the fanservice (in the card art and some lines of dialogue that are vague enough to be viewed as either romantic or platonic).

Fans interpret the relationships however they wish because the base game leaves the choice up to them. That is the real magic of Twisted Wonderland.

#twst x reader #twst #twisted wonderland #twst en #twisted wonderland en #disney twisted wonderland #notes from the writing raven

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arvadthecursed · 1 year

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My criticisms of RWBY rn under the cut.

I'm going to focus on volumes 4 and beyond. HBomberguy did an amazing job on the issues with volumes 1-3, and I agree with all his points. I'm mostly going to be discussing plot and the handling of queer relationships.

First, the plot. It's like Miles and Kerry finally decided on the story they wanted to tell... 4 volumes in. So, to catch the viewers up, they spend massive amounts of time on exposition dumps that just grind the pace of the story to a halt. RWBY does have cool ideas in it, it just... Cannot communicate them in the way necessary to actually tell a compelling story. I believe it was V6 with the giant lore dump about Salem and Ozpin/Ozma. Now, don't get me wrong: there are times in a story where someone will have to explain a plot element to someone else. Nothing wrong with that. But the absolutely hamfisted way the story was handled makes it bad. The constant exposition dumps got to be exhausting.

Penny is another major issue. You're telling me you killed her off, brought her back, very explicitly made her human, only to kill her off again? That's... Stupid. No other way to put it. I was fine with Penny returning! I was happy about it, actually! I thought the concept of an android taking on the powers of a Maiden was a super interesting idea. What makes a person human? What makes them have a soul? If Penny, as an android, is basically immortal, is the Winter Maiden's power permanently protected, in a way? Could she pass it on without dying? How would this affect her relationship with Winter, who was supposed to inherit the Maiden's power? But nope. Miles and Kerry wanted to kill her off again for really, what is no reason (except making viewers sad. But deaths need to be motivated...). If you wanted Winter to be the Maiden so badly, just make her the Maiden in the first place. The Penny plot with it ended up being really dumb.

Fairgame was another problem. I didn't personally ship it, but it was being pretty strongly hinted at, and I don't blame MLM for feeling betrayed by the way it ended -- again, very stupidly. The fight that killed Clover made absolutely no sense, and his death felt wasteful. I'm not MLM so I don't have as much to say, and others can make the criticism better than I can. Just wanted to touch on it.

And... The Bees. They're still dancing around each other, and at this point, yeah, it's queerbait. I would have disagreed before Vol9, but... It's ridiculous at this point how Miles and Kerry are dragging it out. "But it's slow burn!!!" That ship sailed a long time ago. Either make it explicit that Blake and Yang are together, quit having them dance around the notion, or drop it. It's especially egregious because it feels like Miles and Kerry are like, "Look at this ~progressive queer relationship~ in our story!!" without actually doing the work necessary. You can make Jaune's sister wlw (and name her after Sappho for more sweet, sweet Progressive Points!) but you can't explicitly state that Blake and Yang are a couple? It's cowardly.

And the new plot in the Everafter isn't very good either. We've never heard of this story about Alex before in the show. It feels like another plot point that got randomly added without a ton of thought. It could've been such an easy fix, too. Blake and Ruby both enjoy reading. Just have one of them reading the story in an earlier volume, and have another character comment "oh, I read that as a kid, too!" Boom. Now, you've got an actual through-line! But I just can't be invested in the story as it stands. I don't know who Alex is. I don't know why her story matters, even when RWBY is insisting it does matter. The gimmick with fairy tales/folk tales/etc is wearing thin, and I'm tired.

I really did enjoy RWBY, but in its current state, I have fallen out of love with it. I hope it gets better, because the fans deserve better.

#millie says #again this is just my opinion and i am not trying to say people can't enjoy the show #throwing that disclaimer out there bc i just know someone will try and twist my words

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swluminekin · 1 year

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To the one theorist who bounces theories with me:

Thank you.

Do you know that I haven’t theorized properly in at least years almost 4 at this point? We have a mutual friend - you know who I mean - and they can tell you that a lot of the time I’m still scared. They can tell you my story - I think they already have - but it would be better if it came from me.

There was a time a few years back - the “before times” if you will of the world as we know it now. The ego fires didn’t go out because we were always getting new information, new tastes, new hints. It was early days of the official community server, run by the gladiator himself. The theories channel was always busy but it got to a point where things died down a little. Basically people started pulling at straws to figure things out. I had seen one person mention something, and I tried to voice my own thoughts, agreeing with them. Immediately, I was shut down and told that I was wrong. Didn’t really give a good reason as to why, just shut me down completely.

Not too long after that, in a completely different community in a completely different place, I put out another theory. Once again, I was near immediately shut down, told I was wrong. They at least had some sort of explanation, but for the most part they just shut me down and told me I was wrong.

I was hurt, lost. I felt that if I theorized anything, thought anything, I would be hated, told I was wrong, be berated and yelled at. Just for thinking, for theorizing, for having fun. In my mind, if I couldn’t theorize, then I couldn’t create. If I couldn’t create, that meant I couldn’t do any form of art, which included stories and any sort of drawing.

For months I was hurting, the only person I could turn to being our friend. When I tried to do anything creative or theorist wise, I would always hesitate or stop entirely. It caused me physical pain to even try. There were even times when I would cry because I wanted to return to theorizing, to creating so bad, but I felt that I couldn’t. They listened to me cry and comforted me because I wanted to return to that but was afraid to.

Eventually I found I could draw again. But when I drew, the art felt hollow - at least it did to me. I was excited that I could do art again but it just... never felt right. Even when did “draw this in your own style” stuff, it didn’t feel right.

I don’t even remember what happened, what video caused it, but one day I finally wrote a theory. Specifically, it was the Convergence theory. But I was so scared about what I was talking about and that I would be shut down again that I felt like I had to show my proof, show that I knew what I was talking about. I pointed out specific videos and discussions and Instagram posts. Heck, I even put up the pictures of the discord channel as well as my proof as to the channel’s naming.

Because I was scared.

After I wrote that theory, I was tired. I was so worn down. It was all because I felt like I had to prove myself. Like I had to show the world that I had something solid to back me up. Our friend could tell you that while I was proud of myself, I was exhausted and had one hell of a headache. (To be completely honest, I’m surprised at how well the Convergence theory is still holding up three years later with the I.R.I.S. lore? Like what?)

Ever since, I’ve rarely done theories - maybe having done a couple here and there, but not many. If I theorize, I’ve almost never written them down, I’ve just said them out loud. But I’m able to draw again, and I can write stories again. But I’ve never been able to really feel proud of myself, feel completely happy with anything I’ve done. All because of that fear of failure as an artist, creator, and theorist.

Then you came around. You looked at my theories. You were willing to bounce off of me. Counter me with “... but this... and because of...” rather than just “No and I won’t say why.” You’ve helped me with relearning and accepting my theorist side. The fact that we can bounce theories off of each other has helped me to think about things again. Our friend can tell you this. I still don’t theorize like I used to, but to know that I’ve actually somewhat met people who understand what I’m talking about, who accept me and my theories and thoughts? It helps to ease the process and the want to write them down again.

So I say to you again, thank you.

Your mutual theorist,

“Scarlet”

#from theorist to theorist #letter to a theorist #letter from a theorist #honestly grateful #glad to know you're around #welcomed into part of the theorist community again #quiet but listening #creative theorist #theories help creativity #artistic theorist #theories help art #once was lost but refound my path #theories never felt the same #hurt by the theorist community #healed by the theorist community #this theorist should know who they are #I'd be surprised if they don't

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critrolestuff · 11 months

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Too tired to make this eloquent, but imo the way the town elder (Abedinna? Not sure how it’s spelled) and her ideology is presented in the latest episode feels kind of…off? Like, they have a good point re: their religious freedom and the oppression coming out of Vasselheim, sure, and you want them to have their freedom and have justice for that, but then the solution they’re gunning for is just…a complete reversal of fortunes? To do to the followers of the Prime Deities what was done to them, but more extreme? I’m not saying they *can’t* be presented that way or that no one would ever feel like that in their position, but it still kinda reminds me of like…discussions on irl colonialism and how a prevailing line of thought among an oppressing class is often that if the oppressed are given back their rights/land/etc, they’ll take the first chance they get to oppress in turn. It’s a very eye-for-an eye idea of what “justice” looks like that is often not actually shared by the oppressed group, but it’s the only thing the oppressing group can really imagine when considering a change to the status quo

Don’t get me wrong, I’m very curious to see where the story goes from here and I like the sticky nature of the dilemma it presented to Team Issylra in terms of balancing their goals/allegiances/etc. But one thing that’s been bugging me throughout the campaign is that even amongst the people fighting against Ludinus and his machinations to seize control, the actual topic of that control never really even comes up at all as an argument against him? Everyone’s like “we don’t want him filling the space the gods leave behind if they’re cast down” or “we don’t want him destroying the world in the process of destroying the gods” but I don’t think we’ve EVER heard anyone bring up the point that like…that’s not a choice you make for other people. Even the “good guys” don’t seem to actually take issue with destroying the gods for any reason other than “the material cost/body count would be too high/we’d get something worse in their place”

And that just seems particularly highlighted to me in this recent episode. Ostensibly you’ve got a community of people who don’t worship the prime deities and want to be left alone to follow their own way of life in peace, but then they (Elder Abedinna in particular) immediately turn around and go “hey, maybe utterly destroying the source of millions of people’s faith without giving them a choice in the matter so we can do our thing isn’t a bad idea!” And just…the hypocrisy of that kind of goes unchallenged

Idk it’s just been a thing that’s kinda felt unsatisfying to me so far in c3. We’ve gotten an abundance of characters who are all varying degrees of “fuck the gods” albeit in their own interesting ways (and granted, it’s definitely interesting to me to see the motivations & actions of characters who don’t necessarily have any love for the gods, but still fight against Ludinus anyway), but…it also feels like a lot of the same thing after a while. This could be such a rich conflict of in-world theology and philosophy and I really feel like there’s a lot of potential stuff to chew on regarding the themes of choice versus force, autonomy vs subservience, etc, but it feels like those things are going unaddressed in a lot of ways (or addressed in a very one-note way, like I was feeling with the latest episode).

Coincidentally, one of my hopes for the combat in the next episode is that we will in fact get to see one or more Judicators joining the fray, but not just as bludgeoning tools for the Flame Guide to wield against the party. According to the lore given, they’re supposed to be - more or less - vessels to carry out the will and power of their gods, so if there actually *is* disconnect between the will of the gods and the actions of the mortal institutions that purport to serve them (as Orym mentioned in conversation with the Elder), it would be very interesting to see that set-up followed through on. I’d love to see the Judicators do…*something* unexpected in this fight, whatever that may be, that complicates the battle lines our cast of characters have drawn up. Idk if we’ll get that, though. They might just end up being used as especially big hammers to hit the PCs with. But I kind of hope not, or at least, that that’s not all that happens with them. If it is, that would definitely have interesting implications for the Judicators’ nature, ie: are they *really* vessels of divine will, or are they just vessels for the will of whatever mortals are at the top of the power structure?

Anyway. This is messy and I’m tired. Send post

#cr3 #cr spoilers #would love to hear anyone else’s thoughts on this tbh (whether u disagree w/ me or not!)#Judicators #speculation

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