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camlovesheroes · 2 years

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King of Mischief (Chapter 6)

Chapter 6 (A Way In)

Word count: 4.4k

T/w: This chapter contains injuries, war, mentions of weapons & sharp objects, manipulation, gaslighting, betrayal, pregnancy, and foul language, read at your own discretion.

Author's note: Omg hello readers! I feel really bad for not updating in the longest time, I've been occupied with presentations before going back to college in two weeks. I'll try to update a couple of chapters before I go back to boring uni life, I'll still write once I go in but the updates would be snail-paced, anyways I LOVE YOU!

“Your Majesty, our soldiers are ready for the second attack.” Ymir knelt down behind her as Amora peered through an orb that showed the situation of Georgia. “Good, make sure you bring her to me, alive.” She emphasized the state that she wanted you to be in once they’ve captured you.

“Yes, my Queen.” The frost giant nodded in obedience before he made his way out of the mother ship. Lorelei was left with her elder sister. “Sister.. I wonder why you want to take her so badly? Is it because you are bitter about the fact that she married your lover? Or is it because you want to see him suffer by killing his wife yourself?” The younger one strode towards her sibling.

“You’re correct Lorelei.. But, it is deeper than that. That princess has something that I truly desire. Something rare and special. It could give me supreme power over the Nine Realms and further. I want it, I long for it.” The Enchantress stared at the vision of you in the orb. Lorelei tilted her head at the blonde sorceress. “You’re already reigning over the universe sister.. What more do you want?”

Amora’s eyes diverted to look at her younger sibling, “Not yet. As long as that Arolfian princess is alive and free, she is going to be a barricade to us in ruling the universe. She’s a danger to our empire. If I am able to get through to her, she might be of great use to us all.” She smirked evilly. “As much use as that old man?” Lorelei questioned to which the latter shook her head. “Oh the old man is only a small part of the plan.. Once I get her, you’ll see..” The sorceress didn’t want to spoil too much about her next plan, though, it is expected that the plan would be a massive one.

“You’re certain that my wife is safe in that dimension?” Loki walked alongside Strange as they went out of the portal to northern Georgia. “Yes, don’t worry.. She’ll be safe.. Unless someone snitches which I’m sure none of us would do.” The doctor huffed out and analyzed the situation. Everyone was grateful that the second battle ensued in a woodsy part of Georgia that was far from major communities. The God knew that there was a reason why Amora and her army chose somewhere farther from the Avengers Compound, deep inside, he felt uneasy as if something bad would transpire soon.

The Avengers assembled themselves, knowing that they were Earth’s very own line of defense against these otherworldly beings that were about to engage in the second wave of war. All of them spectated the rows of monsters and mages coming out of the portals, getting themselves ready for the fight. There was a difference though. Thor noticed that a giant, circular platform hovering over the rest of the enemies, on it was the Enchantress herself, overlooking her soldiers proudly with her sister, Lorelei beside her.

“Look! Over there.. That’s Amora.” The God of Thunder pointed towards the direction of the floating platform. “It seems like the witch has come to play..” Natasha stated. “Alright.. Let’s stop this Hocus Pocus shit once and for all.” Tony tapped on his arc reactor to put his nanotech helmet on as the swarm of villains neared. Hogun shouted on the top of his lungs, unofficially commencing the battle and all of them charged towards the mob.

Lady Sif and the Warriors Three fought vigorously, slicing and cutting their opponents with no mercy. Tony, Wanda, Vision and Sam flew up to strike the foes from above, Iron Man and Vision blasting them with powerful rays, burning through the enemies’ bodies whilst Wanda made some of them levitate and then dropping them from a tall height, crushing their bones. The Falcon on the other hand, ambushed some of the villains and with the help of some birds in the area, particularly the eagles and hawks, he was able to injure them by having the birds peck their eyes out and tear their flesh apart.

Steve with his vibranium shield and Thor with his Mjolnir, used their respective weapons by flunging them towards rows of attackers. Thor even used his mighty hammer to knock down one of the Frost Giants in the head. Natasha and Clint worked as a pair and backed each other up, using their mastery in combat fighting to repel the enemies. Bullet by bullet, arrow by arrow were released and each one not missing the target. Banner on the other hand had transformed into the incredible Hulk, attacking the bigger sized monsters that were a part of Amora’s line of defense.

The Spiderman swung from tree to tree, halting the enemies on their tracks by shooting his web fluid on their limbs, the boy also made some traps and obstructions on their way to slow them down so that the other Avengers could tackle them in a breeze while Strange and a few of his proteges fought off the sorcerers and mages with their ancient magic accompanied by Asgard’s very own supreme sorcerer, Loki. Everything was going on smoothly and they’ve all decided that their goal was to get to where the Enchantress was on her platform.

“My Queen, we have located the Midgardian sorcerer with the Eye of Agamotto, do you want us to retrieve him for you?” The old mage that attacked you last time appeared behind Amora.

“No, I’ll handle him. Make sure the others are ready to get her.” She grinned sinisterly, dismissing the mage before she summoned her powers to find Strange who was in the middle of battling the mystical creatures. There were few who knew what the Enchantress was able to do and to what extent her powers were. The most dangerous thing she could do was to control the minds of the creatures who held the Infinity Stones.

No, she wasn’t looking to use the stones for her advantage, those rocks didn’t matter to her, not when the Avengers had something much more powerful hidden beneath one of the many kinds of dimensions. That was the problem, where did they hide you, she needed to know and Strange was the only one who had access to the knowledge. Like a virus, her powers traveled through the battlefield, in search of Midgard’s strongest sorcerer.

And then whoosh, Amora was able to penetrate Strange’s mind with the help of the Time Stone, the jewel acting as a passageway into the inner depths of his soul. With his mind being overtaken by the sorceress, Strange stopped fighting and instead, stood still with his eyes wide open. The enemies knew that their leader had already taken over him and made a point to not bother the two sorcerers while they fought in his psyche.

In a blink of an eye, Strange was transported into his own head, the place was pure white and misty. Behind the fog, he saw a silhouette, one that looked familiar, it was the Enchantress.

“So, this is the infamous Stephen Strange, the best sorcerer that Midgard could ever offer. Such a shame that you are not fighting for me.” She walked leisurely towards him with a smirk on her face. “Yeah… No thanks. I’d rather keep my free will than work under your dark empire.” The man spoke in a sarcastic tone. “What do you want?” He added.

“Well, I’m just looking around… For some useful information.” She smiled menacingly. “Oh and don’t worry.. I’m not here for your lousy stone.. Nor am I here to enchant you. If you answer my question, I’ll spare you and your friends’ lives.” Amora finally went face to face with the doctor. “And what’s your question?” He asked sternly, throwing daggers at her with his gaze.

“Where is she?” The woman maintained her daunting smirk. “I have no idea what you are talking about..” Strange answered and to which the female clicked her tongue. “You sorcerers.. Always acting stupid when you are asked a question. Tell me.. And I shall keep my word. Sorceress to sorcerer.” She tilted her head and did a fake innocent expression. Strange gave her an unapologetic look and shrugged his shoulders, keeping his silence.

“Fine.. I guess I’d have to scavenge it myself.” With a step back from Amora, the male began fighting her with his magic. Summoning a cane and trying to strike her but she was faster, throwing magical power balls at him. “You’re sneaky, Strange.” With another throw, she succeeded in breaking the magic cane. “I like it.” She grinned. The man tried to confine her by summoning magical chains to tie her down but it was no match for her mystical strength and she broke it as if they were made of paper.

“You should consider joining me. It would be helpful to have you on my defense line.” She looked behind him and saw a blurry apparition of you in the Mirror Dimension. She got ahold of Stephen and threw him to the side forcefully as though the male weighed like nothing. Amora took off in the direction of the vision, being absolutely sure that that was one of Strange’s memories. Just then, she slipped as the sorcerer created a rope around her ankle and yanked it.

“Not so fast.” He claimed. “You’d have to get over me first.” The male breathlessly spoke. “Okay.” She was the one to shrug this time, right before she forgathered the dead patients from his memories to hold him down, their limbs reaching out from under him and trapping him. “Remember them? These poor people you had turned down just because you wanted a more.. What do you say? Exciting? Challenging cases that match your level? And also the ones that you’ve failed during your early years.. All the pain you’ve put them through just because of your ego..”

The Enchantress wasn’t done with her torture yet, she found another painful memory that he had, one that involved him losing his steady hands, oh, even better, when he lost Christine; his lovely and supportive Christine. She closed her fists tightly, indirectly causing pain to Strange’s hands so he couldn’t do his sorcery. Then, she projected an image of Christine in front of him; the exact memory of when she lost hope and gave up on him. “You see Strange, with your ego, you’ve actually hurt and killed so many.. More than the amount of people you’ve saved. If you keep letting your ego blind you, billions of Midgardians shall be killed.. Unless, you give her to me.” She sighed softly whilst the man was in agony.

Amora turned away from him and unhurriedly walked towards the vision, every step she took got her closer to the knowledge of where you were. “Hmm. Mirror Dimension. Smart choice..” She spoke in a low volume. “You’ll.. Never.. Get.. To.. Her.” Strange struggled. “Not without my help..” He continued and it made the sorceress laugh. “You Midgardians.. Always underestimating people. I myself was a student of your late Sorcerer Supreme. I’ve learnt further than she could ever teach anyone. Your stupid sling ring is useless, it only suppresses your powers.” She turned to look at the doctor before leaving his mind. “Goodbye.”

“Where the fuck is Strange?!” Tony Stark shouted out, the Avengers had been fighting with the beasts for a while now and it doesn’t seem like it was stopping anytime soon. Doctor Strange was the one that they could rely on aside from Wanda, Vision and Loki to get to the Enchantress. The three of their most trusted heroes were busy defending themselves and killing the enemies but where was the doctor? “I have a visual of him, he’s standing there like a fucking dumbass.” Sam Wilson flew across the war stricken forest and once he landed in front of Strange, the man shook him to get him back to reality.

“Stephen! Wake up man! Why the hell are you standing here? You wanna get yourself killed?!” The Falcon screamed in his emotionless face before he was attacked by a Dark Elf, his head was hit by the creature’s stone club, making him lose consciousness. Thankfully, Wanda came to the rescue and banished the being with her magic, killing him from the inside. She hurried to Strange and figured that he was enchanted in a way so she did what she had to do; get in his mind to release him.

In a matter of seconds, she had access to his mind easily and found the male struggling from a distance. The woman saw the horrific scene unfolding in front of her, zombie-like hands holding Strange down, an apparition of a woman in front of him, telling him horrible, mean things to him and a defenseless and weak Stephen Strange looking down. Wanda pushed Christine’s vision away and stepped on the hands that were keeping him in bondage; all of them disappearing after she did so. “Strange.. She did this to you didn’t she? What does she want?” The female questioned him urgently but he didn’t budge nor did he lift his head.

“Strange, wake up! This is all in your head! Don’t let her get to you!” She lifted his head to look at his eyes. “Wake up please! We need you! The world needs you!” None of her words seem to reach out to him. “Stephen Strange! What was she looking for in your head?” Without saying a single phrase, his eyes averted to the vision of you behind her, exactly where Amora went to earlier. Wanda’s head whipped towards the direction of his stare. “She knows..” The woman stood up from her kneeling position and disappeared from his mind zone. She wanted to help him but there wasn’t anything she could do, the doctor was the only one that could save himself from his own psyche. But for now, she has to warn the others.

And with that, Wanda returned to her own physical body, leading the mindless Strange to a safer area before leaving him to convey the message to the rest of the team. “Strange has been compromised. Someone ought to protect him in case they try to hurt him.” She touched her ear monitor. “Wait what? How?” The Black Widow stopped in her tracks to ask the Scarlet Witch, she was definitely bamboozled. How could someone mystically strong as Strange be defeated so easily until he couldn’t fight anymore?

“It’s Amora. She went into his head, messed him up, broke his spirit and he’s trapped in his own mind. I tried to help but there’s nothing that I could do.” Wanda answered. “I’ll cover for him.” Clint clarified and left Nat’s side to go to where Strange was placed. “Okay, okay.. So Strange is out of the picture. Who thinks they could reach out to that witch?” Tony asked. “Wanda could do it, she’s the next person to Strange that could manipulate magic.” Thor said through the monitor. “Wanda, you think you can handle her?” Tony inquired once more. “Yeah, but I need you guys to cover me. There’s just too many of them.” She answered. “Alright, hey kid! I need to swing around and clear a path for Wanda.” The Iron Man ordered. “On it!” Young Peter’s voice was heard in their ears.

In no time, the Spiderman managed to create webs that formed fences out of his web fluid so Wanda could sprint and fly her way towards where the Enchantress’ platform was. Although everything seemed to go to plan, another portal opened right in the middle of the path and arrows came out, injuring Peter and the Scarlet Witch. “Mr Stark! We need help here! There’s a new portal opened.” The young man hastily called out to the team. “Shit.” Tony muttered and flew as fast as he could to extract two of the heroes out of the swarm of arrows.

Amidst the turmoil, Loki spoke up into the ear monitor, “You guys go ahead, I’ll take care of Amora. I’m already close.” He looked up at where the circular platform was above him. His fast and relentless energy aided him in going through the insane amount of enemies and he prayed to the Norns that he could actually teleport to where his ex lover is.

At the same time, you were sitting in the Mirror Dimension, getting upset and feeling baffled over the fact that Loki and the others actually left you out of the battle. You felt betrayed but on the other hand you were still analyzing the situation in a logical way. It would be a lie to say that subconsciously you weren’t expecting your husband to keep you away from the inter-realm war but it was unfair for you. You were worried about what would happen to them since they were going against Amora who had mastered almost all the magic that every realm could offer.

Whilst you were deep in thought, you almost forgot that you were with a child, your motherly instincts started to kick in and a sense of panic overflooded you. You were afraid that there would be a possibility that the Enchantress could get to you and steal your child, or even worse, kill it. You took deep breaths and rubbed your belly. You began to sing Vargsången, a lullaby that Oralfian mothers sing to their children, the English meaning would be the Wolf Song. Its lyrics are a mother’s plea to the wolves to not take her child and her telling the child that they would be safe.

It calms you down bit by bit as you look around at the reflective walls of the Mirror Dimension, hoping that you and your child would be safe within the confines of the vicinity. “Don’t worry, my love.. Me and your father, along with our friends, shall keep you safe.” You assured the baby growing in your womb before you continued vocalizing the melody to the lullaby. The quietness of the dimension was peaceful, the atmosphere felt as if you were back in Asgard’s palace, reading a book in your own chambers.

The silence wasn’t for long though, because right after you finished the last note, your senses began picking up something that was off and you immediately stood up, you felt danger approaching but that can’t be. Even you can’t escape from the dimension despite using your impressive, ancient powers. Besides, Strange did explain that only way to access the way in and out of the dimension was through the sling rings. No way anyone could get to you right?

You were on high alert, the silence was becoming too eerie for your liking and your heart began thumping manically in your chest. Just then, an arm broke in the dimension, the shards breaking from the intrusion, your heart sunk from the jumpscare and when you thought it was over, several hands began entering the dimension until the mirror walls collapsed, you screamed in horror, the hands looked horrid, the fingers were black as if they were frostbitten. Some had sharp nails, resembling claws and before you knew it, you were already greeted by the very same mage that injured you a few weeks ago.

“Hello again, beautiful. The queen wishes for your presence.” He displayed a full smile, showing his rotting teeth to you. “Let me go!” You struggled to free yourself from their hold but you couldn’t do anything further since they had already teleported you from the destroyed dimension into what looked like a massive stage, right in front of Amora. “You…” You sneered upon realizing who the female was.

You charged towards her with your glowing hands, wanting to attack her more than ever though your advances were to no avail. “Nuh uh uh.. You know better than to attack me, pet.” The Enchantress used her powers to absorb your strength and energy and it made you freeze. “What.. Do you want from me? From us?” Gratefully, your lips could still move although it was difficult to do so. “Very straightforward.. I’m starting to like you even more..” You were starting to feel weak and drowsy as she absorbed all of your energy.

“That’s an easy question to answer… I want.. You. Your powers really..” Amora answered your inquiry before halting her magic, making you fall on your knees. “So are you going to enchant me or kill me?” Your breathing went erratic and the sorceress laughed. “Tsk tsk tsk.. Neither. I know it’s extremely complicated to enchant you.. And, you know I need you alive Aurelia..” She crouched down to look at you with a vicious smile. “What do you mean, you witch?” You returned her gaze, you absolutely don’t have any idea what she meant.

“You really do not know? Poor princess.. She doesn’t know what she is. Her parents lied to her-” You cut her off. “Don’t drag my parents into this you murderer. Let them rest in peace.” Your voice quivered. Again, Amora laughed at your words. “Oh dear.. She has no idea..” She stood back up and looked down on you. “Let’s bring in someone.. Familiar, to explain shall we?” With a snap of her fingers, her personal guards brought an elder man in, shoving him right next to you.

“Father?!” It was your beloved father, the King of Arolf, Lerros Vercolson. “Au..relia…” He defenselessly muttered. You inspected him, he looked frail and sickly. His face was covered in bruises and his body had lost a significant amount of weight. “What have they done to you?” Your breath hitched, your eyes were teary from the sight of your father. He looked far off from a king, he looked so… vulnerable. “Let him go..” You turned your head to look at Amora.

“That could be arranged.. Besides, I have no need for him anymore.. But, Lerros.. Tell her. What she truly is.. Who she is and where she’s from.. Go on..” The Enchantress folded her arms over her chest. “Aurelia… You are not… our child..” It confused you, have they beaten him up so badly that it had messed with his mind? “What do you mean I’m not your child?! How could you say that?!” His words saddened you, if you weren’t their child, then whose child are you? Are you even Arolfian royalty? You don’t even know who you are anymore. “You are.. The daughter of-”

“Amora!” Loki barged in and teleported from the platform. “Loki!” You shouted out. “Aurelia?” He froze when he saw that you were kneeling down in front of his ex. “Seize him!” The sorceress ordered her personal guards and Loki began fighting with them, Amora channeled her powers to her guards and it made them invincible, undefeatable and they succeeded in hurting Loki with their weapons; his screams of pain rang in your ears. “Stop it! Please, I’m begging you.. Don’t hurt him. Please, I’ll be yours.. Take whatever powers you want from me.” You weakly clasped your hands together while pleading for the woman’s mercy.

“Aurelia… No..” Your father spoke, almost whispering. “You’re certain?” Amora raised an eyebrow, it wasn’t that hard to convince you at all but she was still careful and alert just in case you had tricks up your sleeve. “Yes.” You nodded quickly. “Let’s have an agreement. Release my father and Loki, retract your army from Midgard and let my friends go. That’s all I ask of you.. Do all of this and I shall serve under your reign.” You bowed your head down.

“Very well..” Amora was satisfied, she looked at her guards and pulled them away from Loki using her telekinetic powers. “That’s enough. We have reached an agreement.” The woman explained. “One more thing..” You said and she turned to look at you again. “May I say my last words to him?” You requested to which the sorceress rolled her eyes. “Go ahead. But no tricks.” With her approval, you slowly stood up and walked towards Loki who was lying down on the platform. “What have you done Aurelia?” He looked at you with hooded eyes. “Let me help you..” You held his hand and assisted him in standing up.

“Don’t do this.. Don’t make the same mistakes as I did. You’re far more than this..” He whispered to you. “I know, I know.. But this is the only way.. Maybe this is how things are meant to be.. It’s inevitable.” A single tear fell on your cheek. “Please don’t cry…” His eyes softened at your fragile state. He stole a glance at the guards and the surroundings. “Listen.. I have a plan-” “No.” You interjected him. “My decision is final. We can’t keep running from this.. How many more lives do we have to lose for this to be over? Strange used to say, ‘In the great calculus of the universe, one sacrifice means infinitely more than a billion lives.’ My sacrifice.. Is for.. The greater good.”

“Darling, please.. I.. I need you.” Loki was on the verge of tears, who wouldn’t be? Especially when the only person who understands them, keeps up with their antics is leaving. Your presence in his life had impacted him so much that he couldn’t afford to go a day without you. “I’m sorry.. I promise that I shall take good care of myself and our child. Trust me, I’ll keep myself alive for you. Who knows, someday, we’ll be able to meet again.” You cried and he did too. This really was goodbye. You pulled him in for a kiss, a long and sweet one. A farewell kiss. When you two pulled away, you frowned and muttered, “I’m sorry.”

You pushed him off the platform and it caught him off guard but you were certain that he was safe because you had stolen a look at the view under the circle and Vision and Sam were close by. You turned around and saw a taken aback Amora. “My my.. You learn fast..” The sorceress chuckled. “Let my father go too.. And retreat from Midgard.” You wiped your tears away. “Okay.” The Enchantress shrugged and opened a portal in the middle of the battlefield before her guards pushed your father out of it forcefully. Now, with no Loki nor parents, you were alone. Truly alone and confused as to who you really are. You spoke in a soft voice, “Who am I?”

Chapter 7

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@clockblobber

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hauntedpearl · 2 years

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Hi Doe, I wanted to thank you for making that long post about BAB and I just wanted to say I agree with your notion that "doing a racism=/= being racist.

I think people tend to be stuck in their ways and when pointed out the first reaction will often be defensive. Not saying that that's good, but it's natural.

Admitting you have been wrong takes a certain amount of courage but admitting your behaviour was racist can be even more challenging. People don't like to admit to racist behaviour because they fear they will be painted as a racist alltogether and pointing fingers at random fandom blogs isn't really helping the situation.

People are generally open to listen and learn, but they need a chance to do so before being dogpiled on and threatened.

That being said we can all do better to make this fandom a safe escapist space for POC and be more open to admitting mistakes and change our behaviour if it's called out as racist.

hey anon! and exactly, yes! i think a lot of people are ignorant, but not malicious. I've seen this a lot where the dogpiling sometimes makes the people being called out feel an odd justification in not admitting their mistakes, too. it becomes a case of "why should I even bother with these people if they're going to tell me to kill myself?" and it's like. a spiral. where you probably had a person kind of susceptible to change becoming resistant to it.

again, it's not our responsibility as people of colour to forgive, or be even willing to forgive. or even make accommodations, i think. we don't owe anyone that. but we need to figure out a way to engage with criticisms that is actually beneficial in the long run, where you have more people doing things to keep us safe in fandom rather than us becoming pigeonholed into this echo-chamber where it's just us poc and the three allies who are our yes-men.

it would be great if criticism was received in a healthy way, but things online can get super out of hand. that is the nature of the medium we use to communicate. but yeah. white people need to stop and understand that if they're getting a harsh critique, it's probably because someone else had a worse time because of their actions. and white allies who are eager to prove that they're Good White Allies™ need to tone it down and not dogpile on the criticized person. Instead you probably need to check and see if you've harboured similar beliefs before. maybe even engage w the other person in good faith. try and bring the conversation to a fruitful end instead of letting it disappear under all the mudslinging.

like. the best way that you can be an ally is by taking the responsibility to educate your fellow white people. like. this is something that takes a lot out of poc mentally and spiritually. your allyship is not in your competition to prove that your anger is just as righteous and strong as ours. it's in your willingness to sit with your discomfort and help others like you do the same so that we, as a community, have less reason for that anger in the first place.

Sigh.

Anyway.

i don't have solutions to the problems that tend to repeat themselves online. but i do hope we can figure things out at some point.

#tw racism #tw suicide mention #doe's inbox #anon #i just. all this exhausts me

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iftari · 13 days

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heres my personal question/reflection. growing up post 9/11 i rmr a lot (& i mean A LOT) of sentiment surrounding the concept of assimilating to the west, being the "good immigrant" and still being fucked by institutions. in line w that was a lot of feeling on how tiring that felt, how exhausting, n like, would we ever be accepted? this isnt an accurate timeline but i would say say this shit peaked in mainstream culture w yt ppl in 2016 (hamilton i think is acc a really great pinpoint of this) and then this energy i would say imo kinda died down throughout trumps presidency (which i personally think has to do w the fact that sm yt liberals were firing up for poc so arguably this was the time institutions were pretending to make "amends". actually. liberals & instutions were maybe trying to make 'ammends' a bit before 2016. maybe since 2014? timeline is rough on this but for sure they were Very Sorry during trump...)

anyway. 2024. in the imperial core of america alone i would say theres *at least* 4 genocides happening (& thats prob me undercounting !) simultaneously. there is currently a very overt livestreamed genocide of palestinians. it is VERY much impacting ppl in the imperial core in the sense that the facade of liberalism is so plainly falling away, institutions are very explicitly engaging in islamaphobia, antiblackness, n anti-palestinian sentiment, etc. and like i obviously think its important to document bc every form of fascism is important to note but i also feel like we're kinda back to convos we've had before of 'omg been SUCH good immigrants n *this* is how they treat us??? oh my!' n like i understand the feeling of betrayal but i wonder how much interrogating is going on beyond the betryal. to sum degree it feels like the way ppl engage w covid in the sense of...im wondering how much of what ur experiencing is actually radicalizing u that america even in its most liberal form should not exist - exactly like israel - n how much of what ur experiencing is like...shock that it could happen to u & the ppl u care ab (vs the....'unimportant/undesirable ppl). like yes its awful campuses are so blatantly engaging in islamohobia. but shouldnt we be reconciling more, as a community that we need to create a world w.o colleges n shifting the importance *away* from unis (esp in a time of shitty economy?) rather than reconciling w like...the betrayal of a institution preserving imperial interests? like how many times are we going to keep learning this? what are we benefiting from having this same shock over n over again? who is it serving to keep experiencing this? feeling similar to this campaign of voting 'uncommited' like who does this serve? dems dont acc care if they have office or not and theyre very clearly ok w losing. they dont need the presidency fr - if anything hey want to lose so they can punish ppl more for not shutting up. so like when we extend energy on the uncommited campaign, who is it serving? what purpose is it filling (& i do believe it is filling a purpose for some ppl. i think for lots of ppl it fulfils the very real emotional need to do *SOMETHING*, to move, to exert the tension n energy we're feeling n thats a correct emotional response! but how u spend ur energy DOES matter bc part of fascism is to literally divert energy so u DONT take up arms. like imo america is not at a place culturally for any sort of violent revolutionary resistance (organized or not) ! like we're just not! but the most explicit nonviolent form of resistance is not being uncommited to voting for a party that is relying on not having electoral offices but rather an actual coordinated strike. THAT has purpose no?)

#idk id k idk. im not trying to demonize any organizers or activists or anything #but really sitting w the concept of defanged movements that still are trying to pserserve liberal fascism #the thing ab liberal america n perserving it is the same as perserving liberal israel n its easy to criticise israel esp now bc theyre youn #but the parallels are there w america so explicit. if we cannot stand w something w isarel u fundementally cannot stand for it here in usa #ither #but i feel like so much defanging has happened to movements that the ppl left to pick ip the torch rn are like...younger inexperienced #activists who have a lot of aderanaline n little political radicalized compass n experience #n its like...showing #also i cannot stress enough how cruel it is to have taken away so many black organizers #to sum degree i also wonder n think ab nonblack cowardice n how its showing up here. like. almost waiting for black ppl to take the burden #of escalation so if it succeeds yay we as nonblack poc take credit n erase but if it fails they get blamed #idk idk i just think antiblackness is really so pervasive - obvi everywhere but i can only talk ab it here in the imperial core #idk. i just feel...idk. movements are defanged n i think the way its going to be inevitably escalated #is going to like...throw a lot of 'organizers/activists' off unfortunately

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iwadori · 3 years

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Why you break up with the haikyu boys part 2 (Osamu, Iwaizumi, Daichi, Ushijima.)

Part 1 (Atsumu, Oikawa, Kageyama, Kenma, Akaashi, Sugawara)

Genre: angst

masterlist

Osamu: “For fuck sake Y/N, don’t deny it I know that you...”

You and Osamu were basically arranged to be together, you were best friends from when you were little and your parents thought you were a match made in heaven.

Did you love Osamu? Of course, you pretty much worshipped the ground he walked on.

But there was always a strange look he gave you whenever he mentioned his brother. You never really focused on it, but that was something you took note of.

When you came back home, after a long day of work. You see Osamu sitting in the kitchen alone, with some paper in front of him and a drink in his hand.

“‘Samu Babe!” You exclaim sauntering over to him “How are yo-“

“Don’t.” He said simply, taking a sipping some of his drink (to which you could only assume was some form of hard liquor.)

“Why ‘Samu, what’s wro-“

“You bought tickets to his game.”

“Who’s game?”

“Don’t play dumb with me Y/N, you bought tickets to my idiot of a brothers game in an attempt to slut around under my nose..”

“Samu, that’s not what it was I-“

“I don’t want to hear it Y/N!” He yelled slamming his drink down making you flinch.

“Gosh Samu whats wrong with you. I know that I had a teeny crush on Atsumu when we were kids but it was just a childhood crush. An innocent childhood crush.”

“For fuck sake Y/N, don’t deny it I know yo-“

“You know what? That I’ve spent majority of my life, trying to ease your own insecurities and jealousy of your own goddamn brother. How childish can you be Osamu ?”

Osamu eyes opened a bit in realisation, and his lips slightly parted. “But Y/N, you-“

“I what? Brought us tickets to your TWIN brothers final volleyball game, because I wanted him to see the support from his family and friends.”

“I’m sorry Y/N I really a-“

“Don’t.” you say picking up the tickets and turning around “I just thought maybe, just maybe for at least a day you could put your weird feelings towards your brother aside... but I guess you can’t.”

You left the apartment, and got your stuff another day (one where you knew Osamu was at work.)

No you did not end up dating Atsumu, you were most certainly friends and only friends. You did end up going to the game on your own, to cheer on Atsumu who most definitely appreciated it.

You thought you saw a certain Miya twins sitting in the stands at of the game, hiding his face with a baseball cap. Which made you smile a bit...

Well at least he ended up coming to the game.

Iwaizumi: “I just don’t want you Y/N, I never did”

In your second year of Seijoh Highschool, you were approached by a rough looking boy who had a ‘resting bitch face,’ and looked like they were coming to pick a fight with you.

But no, it was just “Iwaizumi Hajime.”

He was very popular throughout your school, as he was vice captain of the schools volleyball team and he was Oikawa Toorus best friend.

So when he approached you that Friday afternoon at your locker, you definitely didn’t know why.

“Y/N..” he said nervously scratching the back of his neck “umm this is for you..”

In his hands was a bar of chocolate and a scrunched up note that read

AN: DID I WRITE THAT NOTE MYSELF, yes yes I did anyways...

You were very surprised at this sudden confession as you and Iwaizumi weren’t in the same social circles and you were definitely not the type of girl that would be on his ‘radar.’

You had a quite unsettling feeling, which made you subconsciously squint your eyes at him. But they soon soften as you saw the nervousness that Iwaizumi was showcasing to you as you were contemplating on you answer.

You got out a pen, shaking the unsettling feeling you had out of your head. And ticked the box “Yes” giving it back to Iwaizumi.

He smiled widely and rushed towards you in an attempts in giving you a hug which went awkwardly wrong leaving you both laughing.

Dating Hajime, wasn’t bad nor good... it’s just what you wouldn’t expect it to be.

There wasn’t much of a change to what your usual school routine was which consisted of: going to lessons and spending break and lunch on your own reading a book.

And technically you were still doing that, but you were now just always with Hajime. Wether it was at lunch or at practice (which he always insisted you go to, also hinting that he would like for you to bring him bentos to practice.) which you did end up doing.

One day, whilst doing your daily “bento delivery,” to your boyfriend, you overhear him talking to his friends; Matsukawa and Hanamaki.

“God I can’t stand her, always running behind me like a lost puppy giving me bentos that I didn’t even fucking as for” he complained, making you gasp.

“Really?” Exclaimed Hanamaki “I know you said she confessed to you one time, but I didn’t know it was that bad?”

“Yeah she’s a stalking bitch, it’s getting annoying.”

“Gosh it’s seems someones getting a taste of the ‘Oikawa Experience’” Matsun said making them all laugh.

You entered the room, furious. “What the fuck Hajime?”

“Woah woah woah, it’s seems your stalkers about iwa, we’ll leave you too it” said Hanamaki, with Matsun following behind him as they leave.

“What do they mean I’m a stalker?”

“Well aren’t you?” He responded with a smirk

“Gosh y/n you’ve been following me about for a while now, dont you think it’s time to stop”

“Bu-But you confessed, with your note and w-“

“Are you sure about that Y/N, cause I don’t really recall ...?”

“Hajime don’t lie, we were dating.. we ARE DATING.”

“Okay Y/N let me fill you in on a little secret,” he said leaning down next to your ear “I don’t want you Y/N, I never did.”

“ but why m-“

“Why you? Because nobody knows Y/N L/N and nobody cares, I can tarnish your name and nobody will give a shit.. and that’s why your an easy target” he said still smiling “ I just wanted to rub it into Shittykawas face that I had my own little “fan club”

You were stunned, frozen in shock as Iwaizumi walks past you to leave the gym, making sure to grab the bento you made him.

“Thanks again for the help, I’m definitely going to miss these bentos!”

You should have listened to your gut feeling from before.

Daichi: “you’re just not marriage material”

Daichi was “the perfect guy,” he was nice to strangers and was helpful to the community and just an all round great guy.

So it was a massive question as to why he went for you, since you were definitely not the girl for Daichi.

“I don’t care what anyone says, your the perfect girl for me” was what he always said.

Even though those statements went out the window whenever his mother got involved.

Daichi’s mum was a strict traditional woman, who believed in family values that went back thousands of years ago.

And she most certainly didn’t like you.

She wanted you to be Daichi’s doting wife, who cooked and cleaned for him. Whilst he works and was the breadwinner of the house.

Although you found no problem with the women that did do this, but this was not for you.

When it comes to meet ups with you, Daichi and his mother. He never told her to stop when it came to the rude comments she made about you, or the times she suggested Daichi go for a more “prim and proper” girl named “Misaki Ayuzawa.”

After the meetings, when his mother was gone, he always tried to reassure that she was wrong and her words didn’t matter.

But you knew they did, that daichi was actually considering some of the things she said about you wether they were true or not.

The tension in your household was strong, since you barely talked to each other anymore. But you had hope for better things...

Until one day, you get a message from Daichi’s mother saying. “It seems Daichi made the right choice, as we all know ‘Mother Knows best.’” With a video attached of Daichi proposing to the one and only “Mikasa Ayuzawa” surrounded by all their high class business friends.

When Daichi got home he yelled, “Y/N, where are you I was at this business party at this fancy restaurant and I got some nice things for you to try!”

“Business party?” You say rolling your eyes “Or Engagement party.”

The shocked look on his face made you smile, as you both knew now that he was caught.

“Fuck you daichi! Why would you do this without even tell me !” You yelled, tearing up a bit.

“Y/N, it wasn’t meant to go down like that it was just I was talking to my mu-“

“Fuck your mum! And you!”

“I’m sorry Y/N you’re just not marriage material an-“

“I don’t care what you’ve got to say, you’ve done it and it’s over with”you said leaving.

“I’ll come back to get my stuff later,” you say “oh and congratulations on the engagement Sawamura-San”

After you said that, Daichi’s heart broke.

He did end up marrying her, and he regretted every day of it. Since she was great and all, but she just wasn’t you...

But he knows now you’re long gone, definitely not going to forgive him for marrying another girl whilst being with him.

Ushijima : stop being so emotional

You and Ushijima were very much opposite In every aspect, and at first it wasn’t really a problem.

Especially since you always excused it as “opposite attracts.”

But recently all you and Ushijima do is argue, left and right always arguing.

You complained about Ushijimas lack of emotion when it came to you, you don’t think he cared about you or about anything.

Whenever you brought up something that was wrong he would reply with “Y/N this is something you need to be acting all upset about.”

And that would definitely upset you even more, you just wanted him to notice you or shout “Y/N I care about you and I love you.”

But Of course he didn’t.

One night he came back late (again) after promising to be home early to have a meal together.

“What’s taken you so long Ushi?” You asked

“I was at practice. I told you this.” He said simply, remaining as stoic as ever.

“But you said- you promised that we can have dinner together.” You said

“ oh well I’m sorry. We can have dinner now if you like.”

“I’m not hungry anymore” you mumbled past him, going to your bedroom.

“Y/N, what’s your problem” he said following after you.

“It’s nothing...”you said tears filling your eyes.

“Okay I’m going to go eat now.” He said leaving you alone in the room going to the kitchen, making you sigh.

After you calm yourself and collect your faults, you go into the kitchen where Ushijima is at the table eating.

“Ushijima, we need to talk.” You said taking a deep breath.

“Okay.”

“We should break up.”

“Okay.”

“Is that all you have to say?” You say tearing up again.

“Yes, I’ve been thinking that for a while now.” He said bluntly “since Y/N, you’re just too emotional.”

“Oh I see.” You say now full on crying.

Ushijima looks up to see you all teared-eye, and he is kind of suprised because ‘why were you upset.’ He got up and tried to console you, but you flinched away and said “Don’t, just don’t Ushijima.”

“I’m sorry Y/N...”

“Why are you sorry? Do you even know what you’re apologising for?”

“No.”

“Well then, just seems to prove my point further...” you go to leave before saying “thanks for the wonderful time... I guess we just weren’t meant to be.”

AN: can someone appreciate what I did with Iwaizumis....no? Okay 😃 I feel this one way way more angsty then part one but oh well. What did you think.

General taglist[bold can’t be tagged]: @sakuxxi @iimoonii @hamdehlesmis @Shoyosupremacy @meadowsinjapan @iambashfulperson @kayleighbeccaa @dearkousei @bakugouswh0r3

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whisperofsong · 2 years

Text

Among The Stars

Chapter Five

Pairing: Riff x Latina! Reader

Summary: An explosive event following the dance leads Olivia to question her choices.

*Disclaimer: Please note the inclusion of a racial slur along with some language in this chapter. Thank you for taking the time to read my work and, as always, let me know if you want to be tagged in upcoming chapters. Love you all!

____________________________________________

When I wake up the following morning, I’m eager to leave my bed. My face almost looks as if it is glowing and my eyes are sparkling. As I exit my bedroom, my steps feel lighter and I can’t help but smile as I grab some items from the refrigerator.

“Ahi esta mi chica!” (There’s my girl!) “That’s a big smile this early in the morning, Olivia,” remarks Papi, mildly amused as well as suspicious.

“I just…slept really well,” I reply, hoping my answer is convincing enough. Papi squints, but doesn’t press me for further information.

He quickly downs the remainder of his coffee, kisses my cheek, and heads out the door, en route to his job. While I normally view getting ready for work as a mundane task, it doesn’t have the same effect on me this morning. I absentmindedly put on my uniform, humming to myself throughout this process.

Just as I’m about to leave, Mama calls from her bedroom. “Olivia, ven aqui, por favor.” (Come here, please.)

Once I’m standing in the entrance of her bedroom, she asks, “How was the dance? You haven’t said a word, mija.” I bite my lip, reluctant to respond as I don’t want to lie, yet simultaneously recognize I can’t tell her the truth.

“It was memorable, Mama.” I nod after I say this, as if I’m confirming my fabricated story. Mama gives me a faint smile, pleased with my answer.

“Did you dan-“

“I better get going,” I interject. “I don’t want to be late to the diner.”

“Si, si, of course. Estar segura!” (Be safe!)

____________________________________________

It’s a typical Saturday at the diner, marked by the bustling of waitresses, cooks, and customers alike, all engaged in endless activity. As the day winds down, I’m counting money in the register when Bernardo, the revered and confident leader of the Sharks, walks into the diner. Although I don’t consider him a friend, we talk from time to time and he’s always kind to me.

“Hola, Olivia.” Bernardo takes a seat at the counter, watching me intently.

“Hi, Bernardo. It’s nice to see you.” He nods, but doesn’t respond. I make another attempt at small talk.

“Can I get you something? Coffee? Water?”

He quickly shakes his head and folds his hands, slightly leaning forward, as though he’s about to launch into a serious conversation.

“Olivia, I want to talk to you about something and I want you to listen. Okay?”

“Okay…” I say, uneasy with his introduction.

“At the dance last night, I saw you…dancing with that heinous gringo.” His face contorts into a grim expression, struggling to continue. “Do you have any idea who he is?” Bernardo grimaces, waiting for an answer.

I gulp and return my gaze to the register. I decide to be honest with him. “Yes. He’s the leader of the Jets.”

His eyes squint in disbelief and disgust. “So you know who he is and what he’s about, yet you danced with him anyway? He despises our people, Olivia! Not a day goes by that he doesn’t remind our community of that. How could you betray us?!” His cheeks turn a deep shade of red and his breathing becomes more rapid.

As I glance at the clock, I realize my shift is up and because Theresa owes me, it’s her turn to close.

I shuffle past him so that I’m facing him from the other direction. “Look, I know it seems that way, Bernardo. Trust me, I know about his history and…I know…he’s not always a good guy, but-“

Bernardo cuts me off mid sentence. “Always?! Try never. You’re so naive, Olivia.” He runs his hands through his hair, visibly frustrated.

I scoff at his description of me. “I’m leaving.” Despite my attempt to shirk the conversation, he follows me out the door.

“Olivia, we’re not finished!” he says, grabbing my elbow in the process.

“Hey!” I hear a voice call in the distance and realize it’s Riff. This night couldn’t get any worse, I think to myself, wanting to vanish.

Riff walks towards us at a clipped pace and once he reaches us, he comes face to face with Bernardo. “Get your hands off of her,” he demands.

Bernardo laughs dismissively. “The badass Jet leader coming to a Puerto Rican’s defense? I must be dreaming.”

“Keep it up and you will be dreaming. I’ll knock ya out,” Riff declares, unwilling to back down.

“Like you need an excuse,” Bernardo spits. “You’re full of hatred. All you Jets are.”

Riff smirks and leans in closer to Bernardo. There’s something in Riff’s eyes that suggests he’s about to do something stupid. “You’re right,” Riff concedes. “I do have a lotta hate in me. But you know what’s at the top of my list? You and those other lousy Spics of yours.”

Bernardo punches Riff directly in the jaw and Riff tackles him to the pavement. I gasp, unable to process the sight before me, both appalled and scared. The shrill sound of a police whistle is heard as Officer Krupke bolts toward us. As soon as he’s within grabbing distance, he tears the boys apart.

“Enough!” Officer Krupke shouts, clutching his chest and panting heavily. “Go home. Both of yas.”

Bernardo and Riff both look at me, wearing different expressions. Bernardo wears one of frustration and anger while Riff wears a pained expression. Tears begin to well in my eyes. Riff extends his hand towards me, but I push him with such force, he stumbles to the ground, staring at me wide eyed.

“Stay away from me! You are a vile human!” I scream, not caring who hears me. Bernardo’s eyes remain on me, watching the situation unfold.

“Olivia, pl-“

“No,” I cut Riff off, my voice cool. “We’re finished.”

Bernardo intervenes. “Let me walk-“

“I’m walking home alone,” I assert. “Goodbye, both of you.”

I turn on my heel and trudge down the sidewalk, experiencing an overwhelming mixture of anger, disappointment, and hurt. The euphoric high I experienced this morning is nothing compared to the crashing low I’m feeling now.

When I arrive home, I find a note on the kitchen table, stating that Mama and Papa are helping our neighbors and should be home soon. I’m grateful to be alone so that when I flop onto my bed, feeling dejected, I can sob into my pillow and leave my bedroom door wide open, without worrying about anyone hearing my broken cries.

____________________________________________

When I hear the key turning in the lock of the front door, I quickly turn off my bedside lamp and look at my alarm clock. The artificial light shows 10:17. I have been crying for two hours and can feel the puffiness around my eyes. If my parents were to see me, they would realize I was crying and bombard me with questions.

Upon seeing the darkness in my bedroom, they quietly close the front door and whisper to each other.

“Poor thing,” sighs Papi. “Our girl works so hard.”

“At least she can sleep in tomorrow,” reasons Mama.

They both creep into my room, leaning down to lightly kiss the top of my head. I focus on keeping my breathing even to display a convincing facade that I’m fast asleep. When I hear my bedroom door click shut, I turn to lie on my back and open my eyes, staring into the darkness.

All night, I toss and turn, unable to fall asleep as I ruminate over the distressing events of the previous day. When I look at my alarm clock again, it’s 1:42 in the morning. Most of the city is in a deep slumber, ensconced in a tranquil state, while I’m wide awake.

I had just closed my eyes again, making yet another attempt to get some rest, when I hear something light against my window. I ignore it until the sound continues, creating a sort of rhythm. I sit up and make my way towards the window, wondering what is responsible for the somewhat irksome sound. When I glance out my window, a figure is standing right below it, throwing pebbles against it. You’ve got be kidding me, I think bitterly.

I turn on my lamp and shove my window open, poking my head out of it. Riff looks so small from this perspective as well as troubled and crestfallen. I glare at him, unwilling to speak first, seeing as how he came to see me.

“Olivia, please talk to me. I need you to hear me out.”

I just stare at him, refusing to succumb to his plea. Why should I?

“Please come down. I’m not leaving until you do.” I contemplate this. Although Riff could be bluffing, I wouldn’t put it past him to stand there all night. My neighbors would have a field day talking about this in the morning!

Without saying a word, I shut my window, put on my robe and a pair of flats, and walk downstairs to meet him outside. Once I’m outside, he perks up, but just as he’s about to speak, I interrupt him.

“You’ve got some gall to come here, Riff, and make demands of me when you’re the one who acted despicably. There is nothing you can say that will excuse your actions tonight. I’m disgusted to even be in your presence right now,” I spit, meaning every word.

“I’m sorry, Olivia. I shouldn’t have said what I did.”

I scoff. “You’re only sorry because I witnessed it! God only knows what hateful words you hurl at others when I’m not around, the things you steal, the property you deface, the people you assault! I’ve been right all along, Riff. I was beginning to think I had been wrong to make a snap judgement about you, but I wasn’t-you proved me right. You’re an impulsive, racist, and selfish guy.”

Riff recoils as if I had slapped him, as if my words hurt more than any physical act ever could. He reaches out to touch my hand, but I yank it away from him.

“When I called Bernardo and the Sharks Sp-you know, you weren’t included in that. I swear!”

“Just the rest of the Puerto Rican community, right?” I reply sourly.

Riff tugs at his hair and starts pacing in a frenzied manner. “I know I do shitty things and act stupid, but being with you isn’t a joke to me! I really like you and care about you. I’ll admit that at first, I enjoyed teasing you and pushing your buttons, but then…I don’t know.” He pauses briefly, collecting his scattered thoughts.

“I realized I was starting to have feelings for ya and I just…I screwed up, Olivia. I screwed up and I wish I could take it back, but I can’t. You need to understand that my life is a mess. My mom was the only person who cared about me and after she died, my dad didn’t give a shit. There were nights he wouldn’t even come home and I was a scared kid, not knowin’ what to do! Other nights, he’d come home drunk and take his anger out on me. Sometimes, I’d just cower in the corner in my room, thinking that if I got in this position, maybe he’d spare me. But he didn’t. All I had were the Jets, the one constant in my life along with this place. But then the neighborhood started changin’ and it felt like another thing was bein’ taken from me…” He sighs in an exaggerated manner.

Despite his visible exhaustion, he continues. “But then we met and I felt differently. For the first time in my life, I looked forward to waking up in the morning and the diner that once meant nothing to me became sacred because that’s where I could find you. And then the dance…”

Riff’s voice trails off as he runs his hand through his hair. I’m staring at him intently, unable to pull my eyes away from him.

He exhales loudly before saying, “When I saw you at the dance, I didn’t care about anyone else there. I suddenly found myself getting annoyed with everyone else because I wanted you and I to have that gym, that night to ourselves. And that damn laugh, Olivia. Christ. If I could hear one sound for the rest of my life…your laugh would be it.” I realize his eyes have become glossy and his eyes are gazing at me imploringly.

I want to slap him because as much as I try to dislike him in this moment, his soliloquy has only magnified my feelings for him. I can’t seem to tear my eyes away from this broken man, who is practically offering me his heart, vulnerable as ever. I fight back my own tears and muster my composure.

“Riff, I can accept that you’ll make mistakes, but what happened tonight isn’t a mistake because you meant what you said. Maybe it’s wrong of me to expect you to change, but it’s equally wrong of you to expect me to accept this. I can’t and I won’t,” I say, my faltering voice betraying me.

“Olivia…”

My voice continues to wobble, but I don’t let that impede what I’m about to say. “I won’t lie and act like I don’t have feelings for you because I do. You’re the last person I ever expected to like, but here I am, standing in my robe at 2 a.m., crying in front of you like a pathetic girl.” My voice breaks and I laugh bitterly, the tears causing my vision to blur.

Riff stares at me, but doesn’t say a word.

“I just can’t do this with you, Riff. But it’s okay,” I finalize, wiping away my tears. “Because you’ll meet some other girl and she’ll fit in your world better than I ever could.” I give him a solemn smile and begin to turn away. Riff takes me by surprise when he grabs me and turns me to face him.

“No,” he barely chokes out, his voice catching in his throat. “You can’t just…we…”

I shake my head, hot tears streaming down my face more rapidly than ever.

“I hate that I’m the reason behind your tears,” he whispers, wiping my tears away, but they keep falling.

I turn my head to the side and close my eyes, refusing to look at him.

“Olivia…you’re breaking my heart. And if you’re being honest with yourself, you’re breaking yours, too.”

I shake my head lightly and gently remove his hands from me. “No. You broke my heart all on your own,” I whisper. Without delaying it, I skip up the stoop steps, letting the door slam shut behind me.

When I’m back in my bedroom and peer out my window, Riff is gone. As though he was never there…almost as if he was an apparition, one that will likely haunt me for the rest of my life.

@inkandpen22 @riffheartsgraziella @loverisi @graziellalovesriff @sondheim1fan @ilovey0us0 @grxceordxr @dellaspinstales @jillo0315 @drowninginaseaofbooks @theforgottenmcrmy @shitemylife @disguisedbassethound

#west side story 2021 #riff #latina #mike faist #west side story fanfic

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morganaspendragonss · 3 years

Note

hiya. could you write a fic where tk has a panic attack from carlos’s pov? 😘🧡

i can indeed! this is combined with an idea jamie ( @silvarafael ) had and very kindly allowed me to write - i hope you both enjoy! the first section is also based on a vague idea i had after watching the ep.

ao3 | 1.9k | 2.10 spoilers

TK is silent the entire drive home, choosing instead to stare out the window with his jaw firmly clenched, his hands making fists in his lap. The silence extends all the way into the house, right up until the point when he flops down on the couch with a loud, frustrated sigh, burying his head in his hands.

At this point, Carlos knows not to push when TK is like this; he’ll talk when he wants to, and not a moment before. So he simply walks over, sitting next to him and placing a hand on TK’s back, rubbing gentle circles. TK slowly relaxes under his touch, unfurling his body, and Carlos is all too happy to let him shift into his arms, holding on and pressing kisses on the top of his head.

I’m here, he’s saying - not with words, but he knows the message gets across regardless. It may have only been less than a year since they started dating, but already they don’t always need words to communicate.

“I’m sorry if you were uncomfortable back there,” TK says suddenly. “I know my dad kind of dragged you into it all, and that must have been awkward for you.”

“It wasn’t my favourite interaction with your dad ever,” he admits.

TK snorts. “Understatement,” he mutters, and Carlos laughs, tilting his head in agreement. “I am sorry, though, really,” TK continues. “It was amazing of you to even be there; you didn’t have to be. I’m sure there are hundreds of places you’d rather be than an intervention session for my dad.”

“You mean supporting my boyfriend through something difficult and important?” Carlos corrects gently, shifting to catch TK’s eyes. “Because there’s nowhere I’d rather be than there.”

TK blinks at him, managing to hold his gaze for all of two seconds before he blushes and looks away. He takes Carlos’s hand, tapping restlessly on the back of it - a sure-fire sign he’s still worked up about something, so Carlos leaves him be, waiting for it to come out.

“Is it bad that I’m pissed at him?” TK’s voice is quiet, small, and it’s mirrored in his body language when he turns to Carlos, drawing his legs up and hunching his shoulders. “I’ve spent my entire life trying to connect with him, and it just feels like he’s constantly throwing it all right back in my face. And he’s… He’s such a fucking hypocrite. Ever since my first overdose, he’s been going on and on about how good it is to talk about my feelings and how I shouldn’t keep things bottled up, yet he insists on hiding this shit from me.”

TK laughs, short, sharp, bordering on hysterical. “He didn’t even tell me when he was fucking dying; I had to find that out by myself. And I’ve tried. I haven’t stopped trying.” He deflates, sinking back into Carlos with a defeated sigh. “But there’s only so much I can take, you know? I can’t… I can’t keep doing this, Carlos.”

Carlos’s heart breaks for his boyfriend. He wishes he could take the pain away; as it is, all he can do is hold him, and hope that he has enough words to at least dull the ache somewhat.

“It’s not bad to feel what you feel, TK.”

TK looks up at him, eyes wide. “You don’t think so?”

He shakes his head, kissing him again. “No. I think… I think your dad has treated you pretty unfairly, actually, and you’re well within your rights to be mad at him right now. But, I also think that you said it yourself; there’s only so much you can do. Before you can take care of your dad, you have to take care of yourself, and you can’t do that if you’re worrying over him.”

If TK’s eyes were any wider, it’d be comical. “But -”

“No buts.” Carlos smiles tightly, keeping his tone gentle. “TK, babe, you just led an intervention into your dad’s mental health, which I know was hard for you, yet you did it anyway because you love him. You tried, but if he doesn’t want to engage, then there’s nothing you can do.”

TK is silent for a long time, staring down at his lap. He’s still holding Carlos’s hand in one of his own, but his free hand is rubbing the material of Carlos’s shirt between his fingers; Carlos doubts he’s even fully aware he’s doing it.

“I know that,” he says eventually, voice little more than a whisper. “I do. I just wish he wasn’t so goddamn stubborn all the time.”

Carlos’s lips quirk up in a smile, and he speaks before he can stop himself. “Guess it runs in the family.”

TK stares at him, open-mouthed, and Carlos immediately regrets his words. He’s halfway through an apology when it’s like a dam breaks, and TK breaks out in giggles, his head thumping against Carlos’s chest.

“You’re lucky I love you, Reyes.”

Carlos grins and pulls TK as close to him as physically possible. “I really am.”

The call comes early the next morning, waking both of them up. TK grumbles as he smacks his hand against the nightstand in a blind search for his phone; the sight would be adorable if Carlos weren’t so tired himself. After the exhaustion of the past few days, he’d been desperately hoping to have a peaceful morning for once, maybe even - god forbid - to spend some quality time with his boyfriend without the threat of parents or work or sudden emergencies hanging over them.

Clearly, though, it’s not to be, as TK suddenly sits bolt upright in bed, all traces of sleep gone.

“We’ll be there as soon as we can,” he promises to whoever’s on the other end, before lowering the phone and turning to stare at Carlos, terror obvious in his eyes.

“TK?” Carlos asks when he doesn’t speak, sitting up and slowly reaching out for him. TK startles at the contact, but quickly leans into it, covering Carlos’s hand with his own.

He swallows once, twice. “Buttercup’s sick,” he whispers. “Dad had to rush him to the vet’s. Carlos, what if… What if…”

He trails off, shaking his head viciously, as though he can erase the thought from his mind. Carlos quickly moves to steady him, stroking his thumbs across his cheekbones to calm him down.

“Let’s get dressed, okay?” he says, knowing reassurances won’t mean a thing right now. “Then we’ll go, and we’ll know more.”

TK just nods, quiet as they go through the motions of getting ready. Carlos makes sure to press an apple into his hand before they head out; he knows it will likely go uneaten, but it’s the only choice he has, given he knows that TK will refuse to stop for breakfast without finding out about Buttercup first.

If the drive back from Owen’s yesterday was silent, today’s is far worse. TK’s hands are constantly moving in Carlos’s periphery, alternating between fiddling with his apple, tugging on his clothes and hair, and rubbing at his face. On the rare occasion he does try to stay still, his hands end up twitching in his lap, followed by a sudden burst of anxious movement before falling back into some semblance of a pattern.

Carlos presses his lips into a firm line, accelerating more than is technically legal; at any other time he’d make a joke about how TK’s turning him into a criminal.

They’re forced to stop at a traffic light, and Carlos curses under his breath, getting jittery himself as the drive extends. He turns to check on TK, then curses again at the sight of his boyfriend’s pale face, his wide eyes and trembling body. TK gasps, then again and again, a hand going to his chest, and Carlos knows what this is.

A panic attack, but the second he reaches to help, the lights change and he’s forced to keep driving. He keeps one eye on TK the whole time, heart beating faster as he seems to get worse, and he’s thankful when he spots an opportunity to pull over, taking it immediately.

TK stares, shaking his head frantically and gesturing in a motion that Carlos takes to mean keep driving. His mouth opens and closes but he can’t form words, breaths coming short and fast. He folds in on himself when they stop, eyes closed and forehead almost touching his knees as his body heaves and shakes.

Carlos unbuckles himself and shifts as close as he can, placing one hand on TK’s back and taking his hand in the other, rubbing circles on the back of it with his thumb. He’s had to do this a few times over the course of their relationship, shootings and kidnappings and disasters taking their toll on his boyfriend.

But that doesn’t make it any less difficult.

“You’re going to be okay,” Carlos says, pushing his own fears aside. “Just breathe slowly, in and out, that’s it; it’ll be over soon, I promise.”

He keeps it up, murmuring assurances he barely registers himself until the shaking lessens and TK’s breath slowly but surely begins to even out. He straightens in his seat, eyes still closed, and leans his head against the headrest.

Carlos pulls back, giving him a moment before he asks, “Do you want to talk about it?”

TK shakes his head, then immediately changes his mind and nods. Still, it takes him a few seconds to speak. “What if it’s the cancer, Carlos?” he asks, peeling his eyes open, despair written all over his features. “He could - He could die, he could be dying right this second, and I don’t know if I can handle that, not after everything else.”

“I know,” Carlos says. “You just have to remember that we don’t know anything yet, and you have to believe that Buttercup will be fine until we do know more. We’ll take it from there, and if it is the cancer - which, yes, it might be - then we’ll all be around to support each other. Buttercup’s strong, though, I’m sure he’ll fight whatever this is with everything he has. He’ll be fine.”

Carlos smiles, noticing how TK is pretty much hanging onto every word he says. He takes a deep breath, briefly looking away before continuing, “As will your dad.”

TK frowns. “Who said anything about my dad?”

“TK.”

He sighs, hanging his head. “You’re right,” he admits, “this is a little bit about my dad. The longer he puts off this surgery, the more scared I get that the cancer will come back and we won’t get as lucky this time. I know it’s stupid, and I know I should be focused on Buttercup right now, but…”

“But,” Carlos agrees, reaching out and squeezing TK’s hand. “It’s okay, and it’s not stupid at all, I promise you. Let’s just take this one thing at a time, okay? First, we’ll get to the vet’s and find out how Buttercup is, and then we’ll see about having another conversation with your dad - maybe telling him what you’ve told me?”

TK exhales shakily, then nods. “Okay. Okay.”

Carlos gives him a small smile, squeezing his hand once more before shifting back in his seat to keep driving. “I’ll be right by your side,” he can’t help but say. He’s sure TK already knows, but the reminder can’t hurt, especially after what just happened.

TK stays quiet, but Carlos doesn’t miss the mumbled, “I don’t deserve you,” from the passenger seat.

“Wrong,” he replies, eyes on the road. “You deserve the world.”

And, in his periphery, TK smiles.

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deadlymodern · 3 years

Text

*taps mic*

Umm, hello. Welcome to my presentation.

Hi! ✨

Since I'm rebranding and starting a new "volume" of my story, I decided to create a master recap for you lads. I think this was also a good moment to post this because I've received some new followers/readers that might be confused on what the fuck is happening.

Honestly, this was the only way I could make it work hfudihhiudf. Hope it was useful.

Obviously this recap doesn't have half the lore or depth you'd get from reading the whole story, but it should be enough to refresh your memory and/or for you to get into Where the Waves Crash without being clueless!

I'll place some links here, anyways, just in case someone is interested:

STORY'S MAIN PAGE | FULL STORY CHRONO | CHARACTER'S PAGE

✨ I'll also place a more complete written version of this recap with links to key chapters under the cut ✨

Thank you all for the support on the "rebrand", it really has made me feel even more inspired and motivated to continue with this hobby 🥺💙

BETHANY

Beth was born to a family of farmers in Brindleton, a coastal village in rural England.

She’d help around the farm and care for her two younger brothers, Edward and Matthew, while also attending school, by her mother's request.

At school, she became very close to her friend, Mary.

Her mother passed away during the birth of her youngest brother, Phillip. For that reason, her father, Edgar, pulled her out of school.

Mary would visit and sleep over often to keep her company.

As time passed, Beth realized she had romantic feelings for her friend. Even though they were reciprocated, Mary’d always push her away.

Before leaving to Finishing School, Mary accepted her feelings. The two girls began a romantic relationship.

While the girls were apart, Beth got to know William - a young man she met previously - better. They became good friends. She also developed a smoking habit through him.

Without her father’s approval, Beth attempted to get into the local College for a literature course, but failed her exam.

After a heated argument, Beth made a deal with her father to get married in exchange of permission to retake the exam and get a higher education.

While Mary was in Bridleton for the holidays, Beth officially proposed to her by giving her her later mother’s ring.

Beth kept writing weekly letters, but got confused and hurt when Mary suddenly stopped writing back.

Her father told her the truth about his nervousness in allowing her to pursue higher education, which made her feel even more emotionally trapped.

Adding up to it, her dear friend William asked for her hand in marriage, leaving her lonely and lost

Finally, she learnt about Mary’s engagement and reached a breaking point. Not enough to make her cry, but a breaking point nonetheless.

Beth is left unsure of what she will do with her life. She knows she has a choice to make, but she’d rather not have to make any decisions ever again.

MARY

Mary met Beth when they were 6 years old, on their way to school.

She was the one who instigated their first kiss. And their second. But also pushed her away once or twice due to fear.

She came to terms with her feelings before she left to Finishing School in Germany.

And kept in touch with Beth weekly through letters.

During her Winter break, Mary travelled back home. She then promised to leave everything behind and be with Beth once finished.

For that reason, Mary denied her suitor’s proposal.

Her father, Charles, became suspicious and found her exchanged letters, which led to him blackmailing Mary into becoming engaged.

Mary wrote a last letter to Beth explaining the situation, but it was intercepted by the School’s headmistress, by Charles’ request.

Believing that Beth is informed, Mary goes on with her parent’s preparations for her wedding and gets ready for her School graduation.

TIMOTHY

Tim had been a close acquaintance of Mary for years and was expected to become her husband one day.

He was told to propose to her. She denied him at first, but said yes the second time.

Tim mentioned a family holiday to Normouth in July, and Mary’s father took the opportunity to set a date and location to their wedding.

During his last month in town, Tim went to an exhibit where he saw Will and Beth. He, then, bought a Kodak from William’s father.

Tim is currently on his way to his family’s estate in Normouth for their holidays. Mary’s family is expected to join them in a couple of weeks.

WILLIAM

William met Beth during Mary’s 16th birthday ball.

He was the one who instigated her to pursue an higher education.

He is currently in a Business major at Battlemere College as a request from his father, but is truly passionate about film. Here & here.

Started to fall in love with Beth as their friendship grew. Here and here.

Which eventually led to him proposing to Beth.

William is yet to receive Beth’s answer, but is patiently waiting for it.

EDWARD

In childhood, Ned had a good relationship with his older sister.

They had a fall back once he announced he didn’t want a higher education.

Ned began noticing his sister’s suspicious behaviours, but always failed in an attempt to reconnect/get her to speak to him about it.

And, as time went by, the contrast between his and his siblings’ beliefs became more apparent.

Already suspicious of his sister’s relationship with Mary, Ned attempted to get on her good side by comforting her. Yet, it only pushed her away even more.

SUSANNA

Sue was a good friend of Beth’s, even though they’ve always had different opinions. It was through this friendship that Sue met Ned.

Sue and Ned weren’t very close in childhood. But they developed good communication and, eventually, fell in love.

They got engaged but were told to wait until Beth was wedded to be able to marry.

Even though the wedding was on stand-by, preparations were still being made.

After the Norman family’s horse passed away, Edward’s father decided to reconsider his decision and allowed Ned and Sue to set a date for the wedding so they could use Sue’s dowry to afford a new horse.

Sue is eagerly waiting for her dream Autumn wedding and her life alongside Ned and his family.

MATTHEW

Matt always felt different and distant from his family. He’s an introverted person, which made him very observant.

He started to notice how his sister was treated differently from their brothers.

Matt backed Beth up in every situation against their father’s conservative views and helped her keep herself educated, in case she’d retake her exam. Here and here

He had a brief relationship with a local girl named Charlotte.

But, a couple of years later, was spotted kissing a man by lake Battlemere - though people couldn’t identify him.

He kept pretending nothing happened, in an attempt to get things to normal, and eventually got accepted into the local College.

Finally, he told Beth the truth about his sexuality.

Matt is very excited to introduce his boyfriend to Beth and to finally move out of their farm.

PHILLIP & DOROTHY

Phillip’s mother died giving birth to him.

He found comfort getting involved with music from an early age. He later learnt it was a shared interest with his late mother.

In the music group, he met Dorothy, a young girl from Willow Creek, USA.

Beth helped him bake biscuits to Dottie in an attempt to make her feel a bit better after the pub incident.

Dorothy became friends with Phillip due to their common interest in music.

She Helped Phillip start getting some closure on the guilt he feels for his mothers death.

During a night out, Dottie was harassed by a man. Phillip tried defending her, but things couldn’t be fixed so simply. They talked about it as the encounter scared them both - on different levels.

At the moment, Flip and Dottie are very good friends. Flip is infatuated by her, but is trying to suppress it because he knows she is still overwhelmed by the pub incident. Dottie is concerned with her reputation around the village.

#wtwc #wtwc; recap #death tw #harrasment tw #smoking tw #long post tw

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jalebi-weds-bluetooth · 3 years

Note

Hi Dear Jalebi, I demand your analysis :) What are your thoughts on IPKKND might have some typical track if the audience, TRP, actors departure didn't influence it otherwise? Let me explain, IPKKND was supposed to have a longer office track (that wasn't common though, I would've loved it) but the TRP was low, so Shantivan track was introduced. Then, I read that, Sana Maqbul (Lavanya) wanted to quit IPKKND, that's why the quick breakup???

Is that why they didn't give us the COMMON AF *jealousy and hero's ex GF turns villain* track? Then again, Anjali was jealous and sad about Khushi after the first reveal of Shyam, and it looked like track about Didi Ki Saut was beginning. But again ratings dropped and the fandom didn't react well (kinda protested), Anjali quickly stopped showing jealousy and Dadi was introduced to give ArShi a common saas-bahu vibe.

Hello Dear Analysis Anon!

I am going to over answer this with a lot of detail because I have a lot of thoughts, as always! Time to get into my thinking cape/coat:

This analysis is going to cover:

(1) every example you just mentioned,

(2) my thoughts on external things affecting plot of the story,

(3) things/plots/ tracks that could've been if not for external factors

Examples

1) IPKKND was supposed to have a longer office track (that wasn't common though, I would've loved it) but the TRP was low, so Shantivan track was introduced

As far as I can remember from one of the writers' interviews, the office track was cut short because this was a show on Star Plus - which, as a channel, caters to 'family audience' therefore needs to have sanskaar and stuff at its core. Hence the rude shortening of the office track and weird 'makeover' and 'desi-dying' Lavanya. And hence we had a very weird four months of an eighteen-twenty years old Khushi teaching someone about sanskaars and suddenly knowing everything about a household when Bua-ji or even Payal would've been a more apt choice for this 'tutoring'.

If this was a Star One show, they might've not shifted out of the office for the longest time!

2) Sana Maqbul (Lavanya) wanted to quit IPKKND, that's why the quick breakup??? Is that why they didn't give us the COMMON AF *jealousy and hero's ex GF turns villain* track?

I did not know that's why the quick end happened. Honestly that happened perfectly. I think Lavanya had an inkling about their relationship heading south right when Arnav told everyone he's getting engaged to her. But she chooses to not see it until one day she couldn't. Maybe we could've gotten more from La but if you see carefully, La clearly knows that this relationship is now just for face. Bless her heart for trying though, trying with a smile!

Also, again I think the writers never thought of making Lavanya a vamp. They had enough material with Arnav-Khushi's own differences, Shyam and Buaji playing enough roles to mess up Arnav-Khushi's love story. I probably think they always had planned Lavanya as a beautiful person who was unintentionally caught in all of this. I feel they planned La and Khushi's friendship - they clearly enjoyed writing two completely different people becoming closest of friends.

The writers/creators deserve full credit for this.

3) Then again, Anjali was jealous and sad about Khushi after the first reveal of Shyam, and it looked like track about Didi Ki Saut was beginning. But again ratings dropped and the fandom didn't react well (kinda protested), Anjali quickly stopped showing jealousy and Dadi was introduced to give ArShi a common saas-bahu vibe.

This is all true.

My Thoughts on External Things Affecting Plot

It's not necessarily bad that external things affect plot. Feedback, from channel or fans, can help the show to pivot and understand what is working and what's not. The problem is when feedback is implemented regardless whether or not it matches the theme of the plot.

I loved:

1) The channel moving out of the office because the power dynamic was too great and the contract terms were very unhealthy and Arnav Singh Raizada deserved to get sued at least 10 times by the end of this contract so yes, the shorter the office track the better. Literally the saving grace is they didn't "fall in love" there.

2) The fans protesting against Didi Ki Saut track. Not because I hated the track - I think it was executed in the worst manner! From identical visual languages to show Arnav-Anjali and Arnav-Khushi scenes (which didn't work to show Arnav being equally torn between the two most important women in his life, but just made the audience get creeped by Arnav-Anjali's relationship) and writing scenes of Anjali getting offended by Arnav-Khushi's intimacy/Arnav spending time with his wife, on her birthday, in his bedroom... did she expect Khushi would just *disappear* in a her and Arnav's bedroom? Like that was the worst way to show a compelling plot line and giving people some weird thoughts about Anjali-Arnav (which I hate because I LOVE Anjali-Arnav).

3) Barun walking out when the plot was literally done. Yes, thank you!

4) Barun going to do a movie led to the kidnapping track, which I liked a lot. No, not the nonsense of Manorama Bond fishing out Delhi's security camera footages in vintage recording system - but the fact that given the chasm and angst between Arnav & Khushi, only something bigger than their misunderstanding could force Arnav to give weight to his feelings and for Khushi to be able to forgive him. And his life was at stake. It was a sharp reminder to both of them that they lost so much by not communicating that it doesn't matter what they had to say - they loved each other, they just needed to get back and fight off everything together.

And then again, there are things I HATED that happened because of external factors:

1) The channel for the whole La becomes Desi. And the overdose of sanskaar and tradition that followed for a few months *uggggh* Clearly the channel demanded this from the plot because family, traditions and all are important to Star Plus (wtf are they thinking for Ghum Hai Kisi Ke? though or YRKKH?) And even the Aarav track and Mrs. India - two tracks with terrible execution - were very Star Plus recommended content. Just now Saath Nibhana Saathiya 2 had a Mrs. Surat/Gujarat track and Yeh Hai Chaahatein had a miracle child popping up...

2) The fans demanding Arnav & Khushi's proximity. The whole hut scene was *noooooo*. Lack of consent, body doubles, GLARING logical loopholes and them just trying to do it when one of them is really not in the mood and they were both so out of character. @phati-sari explains this really well in her post (just search for the hut to get all relevant posts on her blog)

3) Barun? Not exactly - he's never in control of the plot so really it's the writers that kinda know what to do with his presence and absence. Even if they get a short time, it's upto the creators who know if they use the last 2-3 weeks for stretching a random track as much as they can and give a rushed ending or quickly wrap up a crap track and give a satisfactory ending. A good example of this is Lavanya's exit - although rushed was dealt with grace, important conversations and memorable hugs. Bad one is the end of the show - I know Barun gave his papers but I wish they went the La way with the end of the show - important convos, teary hugs and a sweet moment (they tried their best tho...)

It's an ITV trend though to not plan for the end of a show... they stretch a crappy track as much as they can and have like a 2 min epilogue. Kasautii 2.0 was the funniest cause they had all misconceptions cleared, Komolika and Mr. Bajaj die and then have a weird 2 min pillow fight to show 'happy family'... guess in that way I'm glad we had whatever we did with IPKKND!

Possible Tracks Then

So if external factors didn't influence the show, we might have had the following:

1) A longer office track. It would end the way it did in canon though. I think it was prewritten that at one point Khushi would tear up the contract and hold him accountable for everything Arnav did. Just instead of 3-4 days it would've been 10-15 days after the contract.

2) Didi Ki Saut track. Honestly that was compelling if executed right. Sometimes you can have an antagonist without becoming a villain, Anjali the perfect character for that.

3) A separation track. I'm pretty sure Arnav-Khushi could have separated at some point in their six months marriage - this is just my inkling and not something I heard in an interview unlike the above two. If given full reign to writing, we probably would've gotten an angst heavy stuff at some point post marriage/6 months.

4) A remarriage track sans Dadi. We know why Dadi was introduced (honestly I didn't mind her, it was a track done well and kinda to redeem Arnav in front of the public eyes. It's a perfect track cause Arnav is 'nice' for standing up for her and kinda heals the wounds he caused in the first few months of the marriage by retorting someone who tells Khushi everything he told her...) But anyway I do think a remarriage was in the works, not because of TRPs but the way their whole 'marriage' was framed and how Khushi was broken because of the lack of everything in it. And they deserved one w/o the devastation that night brought.

5) The 'marriage' would've been a live in. Arnav and Khushi's elopement was supposed to be darker in nature*. Their 'marriage' would've had no religious nor legal validity, therefore a stark contradiction to everything Khushi stood for... but you can't have that in ITV. *By dark I don't mean sexual violence - never.*

6) The whole IPKKND was meant to be darker. I am glad for the romantic comedy though! I think their balance of angst and comedy pre marriage was perfect! Not sure post marriage because it felt like a loop of going back to square one with no progress. But I think things were meant to be less subtle, more tragic and dramatized. So I think we could've gotten extremely angsty periods post marriage with a slow, gentle lull to the romance/comedy. While I am extremely glad for the lightheartedness, I wish I could've read what the whole original concept for Arnav/Khushi was!

7) Arnav revealing the truth to Khushi would've been different. We know the distasteful suicide track quickly came as a way to push Arnav's buttons and have him confess the truth of his elopement to Khushi. And that came from Barun going away - hence the quick kidnapping track and everything. So if Barun didn't go away, I honestly don't know how the revelation would happen. Would Arnav start piecing things together from information and things about Shyam in Laxminagar? Would Arnav end up helping and hospitalizing Shashi who would tell him the truth? Would Arnav come across any hidden wedding card Buaji could've had printed for Shyam-Khushi or even Shyam's fake kundili? Given the Gupta house wasn't the place where Shyam covered his tracks... was this where Arnav would start seeing things? Or guilt ridden, would Garima/Khushi/Madhumati tell Arnav the truth? Something was meant to happen for this revelation, whether it's Arnav believing Khushi or just getting further evidence against her - I... don't know! I wish I knew what the writers had in store.

We highly appreciate for not showing a typical Nanand against Bhaabi trope, also for not making La villain, but would it result differently if things didn't have a hand? Imma cry thinking Anjali jealous and La villain! meh! What a feast for the eyes it was to see ONLY ONE VILLAIN and less negativity in a tellywood show. Baas bohut hua my casual verbiage. By demand I mean no pressure, please take your valuable time and reply whenever you feel like it.Take Loads of Care and Chocolates your way <3

I hope the above answered all your queries :) Thank you for all the chocolates and care!!!

Phew this was rather long! A big hug to anyone who went through it! See ya later!

- Jalebi

#ask #analysis anon #THIS IS LONG #so many thoughts #how arnav khushi's confrontation would've been #the only answer I crave #analysis #ipkknd #iss pyaar ko kya naam doon

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tuanyiems · 3 years

Text

To Tango

Yugyeom x Fem Reader Genre: fluff, a little angst, smut Words: 12k [Masterlist in blog description] Plot: Sequel to Take Two (Arranged Marriage AU) Part of the Marriage Life AU series. You and Yugyeom have decided to take things slow now that you are starting over on the right foot. This proves to be more difficult when your insecurities about your virginity grow larger and Yugyeom’s dance partners get prettier and sexier with each routine. Warning: gyeom and reader need to work on their communication lulz, loss of virginity, fingering, oral (f receiving), penetrative sex, unprotected sex, riding, creampie, a brief moment of unintentional cockwarming lol

“Oh, and the sex, Y/N!” Anna let out a dreamy sigh, plopping her head against the couch cushion dramatically, her third glass of wine swirling dangerously in her hand. “I thought we were great in bed before, but engagement sex! Y/N, it’s absolutely mind-blowing!”

You giggle in response to your best friend, lips on the edge of your own wine glass as you nursed your first cup.

Anna reaches out her left hand, eyes crinkling at the sparkling ring on her finger. “I can’t wait to get married and have newlywed sex! Is it even better, Y/N?”

You cough in surprise, mouthful of wine spilling back into your glass.

“Oh dear, are you okay?” Anna reaches over, patting you on the back. She glances over cautiously. “You know, I heard most couples need time to learn each other’s bodies. Not all men can be like Jungkook. It gets better, don’t worry!”

“No!” You looked up in surprise, cheeks heating up. “It’s not that it’s bad. Yugyeom isn’t bad…or well, I don’t…he’s probably not.”

“Wait!” She shakes her head in disbelief, slamming down her wine glass on the coffee table. “I thought you and Yugyeom were getting along! It’s been a whole year, Y/N!”

“W-we are,” you stutter, looking away.

“But you’re still a virgin?” Anna asks slowly. You gulp down the rest of your glass, squeezing your eyes shut in embarrassment as you reluctantly nod.

“Aww, it’s okay…sex isn’t even that…good.”

You roll your eyes, giggling at the obvious lie. “Stop Anna, you looked like you were in actual pain just saying that.”

She grinned, flashing a row of plum teeth. “Sex is amazing, Y/N, I’m sorry.”

You shrug your shoulders, pouring more wine into your glasses. “I’m sure I’ll find out eventually. Yugyeom and I are just taking things slow.”

“Of course, there’s no rush!” Anna smiles reassuringly.

“Right, no rush.” You agree, nodding your head with conviction. Deep down though, you’re worried. After the two of you finally cleared the air of your misunderstandings last year, you both agreed to take things slow, get to know each other as friends first. Of course, this was more for Yugyeom. You had already been head over heels for him two years prior to him ever knowing your name. As time passed, your feelings for Yugyeom only grew stronger, but you weren’t sure you could say the same for him.

It took months for him to come to terms with you being his wife, you didn’t want to scare him away by asking for anything more. But a whole year has passed since then and the two of you hang out more like roommates than a married couple.

The first time you went on a real date, it got so awkward that Yugyeom literally called up Bambam to break the silence. The last time you tried to hold Yugyeom’s hand he flinched like you were going to chop his fingers off or something. Ever since then, you’ve given up, relishing instead on your casual nights in watching k-dramas and weekly grocery store runs. Those count as dates, right?

“Everyone has their own pace Y/N,” Anna adds, as if she could hear your worried thoughts. “There’s no order to when you’re supposed to get married or have sex. Don’t worry about it.”

You look at her with a pout. “Even if we’ve never kissed?”

“YOU’VE NEVER KISSED?!”

You laugh, half at her reaction and half in agony as you nod.

“What the hell is wrong with Yugyeom?” Anna yelled out indignantly.

You smile sheepishly, brushing your fingers through your hair in defeat. “Maybe he doesn’t want to kiss me. We hang out like bros. I think I’ve been friendzoned.”

“Nonsense! There’s something wrong with that boy if he doesn’t want to kiss you. Even I want to kiss you sometimes! That’s how hot you are!”

You laugh, collapsing into the couch cushions at your friend’s bug-eyed expression. “Anyways, it’s not that big of a problem. In his defense, he’s only just gotten to know me. I’m not as outgoing as you Anna, my charms are a little harder to see.”

“No way, Yugyeom’s just blind. That, or he’s a coward! You need to grab that boy by the collar and show him exactly what he’s missing out on. Just grab him and plant a wet one on him!”

You chuckle, shaking your head. “I think that’s called assault, Anna. We’ll get there in due time. No rush.”

“No rush about what?” Yugyeom interrupts, entering through the front door. He had just come back from the dance studio. You avert your eyes. Even after a long day of dancing in track pants and a plain white tee, hair stuffed into a black cap, Yugyeom still looks irresistible.

“Are you two drinking again?” He asks after no answer, approaching the two of you on the couch.

You smile sheepishly, twirling the red wine in your glass.

“Yes we are! Have to get rid of our frustrations somehow!” Anna barks back, pouring more wine into both of your glasses.

“This is my second glass,” You tell him quietly when he glances from Anna back to you, questioningly.

Yugyeom raises his brow skeptically, leaning over the couch to get a closer look. You gulp, eyes trailing the tip of his nose and the curve of his cupid’s bow. He’s so close; you could smell the lingering scent of the outside air mixed with his faded cologne.

“Your second glass?” he asks, eyes trained on yours like he could read your thoughts if he stares hard enough. You pray that isn’t true.

You nod quietly.

“Then why are your cheeks so pink? I think you’re already drunk!” He declares, standing up straight. Anna laughs, looking at you with a knowing smile.

“Did you eat dinner yet?” You change the subject quickly.

He smiles down at you before stepping away. “Yeah, I’m gonna go shower and then head to bed. Don’t keep her up too late, Anna!”

“That’s your job, Mr. Hubby,” Anna mumbles under her breath, snickering when your eyes widen, and you turn back to check if he heard. Yugyeom is already down the hallway though.

You pout, sinking into your seat. “Don’t say it!”

“You’ve got the hots for your husband!” Anna sings with excitement, nudging you teasingly.

You can only groan into the couch cushions because you know she’s absolutely right.

Of course, by now everyone knows you’ve had the hots for your husband ever since you laid eyes on him as a freshman in college. You were like the Cinderella of arranged marriages on campus. You agreed with it yourself. It wasn’t every day that parents matched their daughters up with their longtime crushes.

But that was a sweet and innocent time in your life, when you’d have daydreams of cooking dinner with him and he’d help tie your apron from behind. Maybe even tuck a stray hair behind your ear. Now your daydreams are far more…mature.

So, when you send Anna on her way and turn around to see Yugyeom stepping out of the shower, striped pajama pants on, and only striped pajama pants on, you are a bit breathless, to say the least.

“Jungkook picked Anna up?” he asks nonchalantly, water droplets dripping off his wet hair and falling down his chest.

You beg your buzzed brain not to follow the wet trail. Your mouth waters anyways.

“Mhm,” you manage out after a pause.

He chuckles, his hands coming to cup your cheeks. “Are you sure you only had two glasses? You seem out of it.”

“I’m fine,” you laugh nervously, shuffling out of his grasp. “Anyways, aren’t you tired? You should head to bed.”

“I am,” he smiles. “You too? Do you have a long day tomorrow?”

“I’m gonna be in the kitchen all day. I have to practice a couple recipes.”

“I’ll help!” he grins, shoulders squeezing together happily.

You scrunch your nose, landing a soft punch on his bicep. “I sense ulterior motives. I’ll take it though!”

He laughs, patting your head good naturedly. “Then it’s settled. Just wake me up when you start.”

You smile, watching as Yugyeom turns towards his bedroom, fresh muscle relief patches stamped across his back. He had been in the studio nonstop all week. Ever since changing his major, he’s been overworking himself to make up lost time. And now he’s spending his day off to help you.

You are grateful that he no longer gives you the cold shoulders. In fact, you have a gut feeling he’s been trying to make up for his past behavior by doing favors for you. You keep telling him that everything’s been forgiven, but the boy doesn’t listen.

He’s truly been nothing but sweet.

So, it should be okay that you two sleep in different beds at night. Lots of arranged couples do. You should just be happy you got to marry such a kind man. It’s okay that he doesn’t love you, you’re lucky nonetheless. Eventually, you two will become best friends.

Best friends last longer than lovers, you’ve been told.

But when you tuck yourself into bed that night, you can’t help but feel a little bit colder than usual.

“So, how can I help?” Yugyeom asks, hands on his hips as he sports your far too small, far too pink apron.

You giggle at the sight, sliding the cutting board towards him. “Can you dice the veggies, please?”

“Yes Chef!” he salutes you playfully.

You chuckle, bringing out the other ingredients for your recipe. The sleepyhead woke up at noon and insisted on helping you before even brushing his teeth. Of course, you ushered him into the bathroom soon enough, but it was harder to kick him out of the kitchen.

You glance at the back of his hair, strands curling up in opposite directions like wild flowers. You’d think the image of Yugyeom looking the very opposite of his appearance in the dance studio would damage your infatuation with him, but instead you found his clumsiness endearing.

There are a lot of cool bad boys out there. You’re glad Yugyeom is one of the good ones. Sometimes you fear he’s too good. Like maybe he’s being nice because he feels guilty still or maybe even sorry. You bite your lip. You would hate it if he were only acting this nice because he felt sorry for you.

“Oh my god, Y/N!” Yugyeom yells, breaking you out of your thoughts. “You’re gonna cut yourself like that!”

You look down at your chopping board, fingers dangerously close to the knife. “Oh.”

“And you tried to kick me out of the kitchen. I should be the one nagging you!” he chides, taking the knife away from you. “I’ll finish up the chopping, you can start cooking.”

You nod, feeling your cheeks heat.

“How are your classes going?” he asks, popping a slice of carrot into his mouth.

“Pretty good. I just can’t wait to graduate.”

Yugyeom lets out a soft chuckle. “Same.”

“Extra year was worth it though, wasn’t it?” You grin, filling a measuring cup with water.

He answers with a wink. It makes your stomach flip.

“I never said thanks,” he starts, going back to chopping vegetables. You look at him curiously, waiting for him to continue. “For convincing me to change my major. And supporting me this whole time. I don’t think I would be here without you.”

You shake your head, busying your hands as your cheeks flush once more. “It was all you. I wouldn’t invest in something I didn’t believe in. You had it in you the whole time.”

“Ah, stop it,” he bumps shoulders with yours gently.

You couldn’t help the growing smile on your face as memories from last year floods you.

Yugyeom looked like a nervous puppy in front of his father. You were sure if he had a tail it would be tucked between his legs right now.

You never thought of the Kim family as intimidating. Although the first time you met your in-laws they were angry whispering to each other with Yugyeom over the arranged marriage, they have always been nothing but kind to you. And when you and Yugyeom started getting along, they became even more jovial, showering you with household gifts and random text messages of affection.

However, Yugyeom’s respect for his parents was immeasurable and in front of his father, he became a little boy.

So here he was, face as pale as snow, about to break the news to his father.

You reached out to him, taking hold of his hand quietly. He flinched at the touch before offering you a nervous smile back. You squeezed his clammy hands in yours.

It was the first time you truly felt like Yugyeom’s wife. The two of you were in this together and you were going to support your husband’s happiness even if it meant going against his parents.

As it turned out, Yugyeom’s parents were more than understanding. Disappointed, yes, but after you gave your reassurance that you supported his decision, they were all on board with him pursuing dance.

You chuckled to yourself, remembering how Yugyeom’s frightened face had melted back into his usual boyish excitement. There was something very pure in the way he expressed himself. It was part of the charm that drew you in, in the first place.

You glance his way, catching him bouncing his shoulders up and down to a beat only he could hear. Sometimes you wonder what goes on in that brain of his.

Yugyeom’s knife stops midair. He turns to you abruptly with arched brows. You blink back nervously. But instead of saying anything, he breaks into a big smile before returning to the vegetables, his body grooving back and forth in a little jig. You chuckle softly, shaking your head. Whatever’s in that brain of his, you don’t have to worry about it.

“Wow, this is delicious!” Yugyeom exclaims, taking another big bite of your dish. You smile, placing your hands on your hips with satisfaction. “You deserve an A++!”

“You say that about all my food,”

“I mean it this time! It’s so good.”

“Oh, so you didn’t mean it the other times?” You give a playful pout, pushing the plate closer to your side. “I’m eating this alone!”

“Aww, hey! You know what I meant,” he whines, scooting closer to get another bite.

You laugh, taking the dish into your arms as you swat his hands away. He only pushes closer, wrapping his arms around you.

“Just one more bite!” he whines, squeezing you against his chest.

“All mine!” You grin, grabbing another spoonful. You swirl the spoon around teasingly before aiming for your own mouth, but before you could bite down, Yugyeom squeezes you closer, sticking his head cheek-to-cheek against yours and successfully steals the bite.

You gasp, face flushing at his close proximity and then watch as the plate slips from your nervous hand. Almost as if in slow motion, you see the contents of your dish spill onto Yugyeom’s grey sweatpants. Your eyes double in size the liquid sinks into the fabric of his pants and the rest falls to the floor in thunderous claps.

You blink, frozen, until you take in a sudden breath and collapse to your knees.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry!” You immediately apologize, wiping at his pants hastily.

“Oh, hey hey hey!” Yugyeom grabs at your hands, flustered. “I-I can wipe myself. Don’t worry about it.”

You look at the red flush across Yugyeom’s face, reaching towards his ears and all the way down his neck. Your palms go clammy in his as you realize your precarious position. You glance at the wet spot near his crotch and then back at his wavering pupils.

“I’m so sorry!” You apologize again, for different reasons this time, as you fumble back to your feet.

He only shakes his head vigorously, unable to meet your eyes as he lets go of your hands.

“It’s my fault,” he says, rushing to the kitchen counters to grab a kitchen towel. “I was playing around too much.”

“Yeah, you were,” you agree, taking the towel from him with a sympathetic smile. He looks at you with a pout. “I’ll clean up the mess, you should go change.”

He lets out a sigh before consenting, heading towards his room with his head low. In the privacy of his bedroom, Yugyeom lets out a deep exhale, his heart thrumming in his chest. He hopes you hadn’t noticed.

He looks down, pulling his sweatpants off. Please go down, but instead thoughts of you return to his mind. If he is being honest, it isn’t the first time he’s imagined you in that kind of position, but to have it actually happen—you, on your knees, right below him—and the way you looked up at him with your big, shiny eyes. All you had to do was lick your lips and he would’ve came in his pants.

“Fuck,” he whispers, looking back down. “Go down, go down, go down.”

You sit in Jungkook’s apartment, watching beside Anna as the two boys bicker about the latest trendy dance on TikTok. You laugh, watching as your husband grows red in the face from laughing so hard. He didn’t even drink tonight.

“What are you grinning about, huh?” Anna teases, refilling your glass with more sangria.

You point at Jungkook just as he begins rapping nonsense to the cellphone that is leaning dangerously against a half empty water bottle, off the edge of their coffee table.

“That’s the guy you’re about to marry,” you deadpan. “And that’s the man I’m married to.”

You look solemnly at Yugyeom who is now flailing tissues around as he hypes Jungkook up in the background.

Anna chuckles, clinking her glass against yours. “A bunch a fools, we are.”

You gulp down the fresh glass before breaking out into a grimace. Anna definitely put more brandy into the second pitcher of sangria. You look back at your friend with a frown.

She only laughs in response. “What? It’s not like you’re driving yourself home, that’s what the husband is for!”

“True!” You laugh, drinking more.

Yugyeom scowls, giving Anna a reprimanding click with his tongue. “You’re such a bad influence, Anna!”

She feigns offense, turning to him with her mouth wide open. “Excuse me? Who’s the one that brought you guys together, hmm?”

“Our parents,” Yugyeom retorts, a pleased grin on his face. You chuckle, earning yourself a glare from your friend.

“But I was the one that brought Y/N to the dance studio and stopped you two from divorcing each other,” Anna pouts, squeezing your arm for backup. You only giggled more, sipping on your glass of sangria.

“Speaking of the dance studio,” Jungkook starts, breaking the little spat between Anna and Yugyeom. “You’re working on that new routine with Lisa, right?”

You let out a sigh that only Anna notices. She gives your arm another squeeze, well aware of your concerns.

For the past couple of weeks, you had been complaining to Anna about Lisa. In all honesty, there was nothing real to complain about. Lisa was one of the sweetest girls you have ever met, and her dancing was some of the best you had ever seen. But that was exactly what was wrong. Lisa wasn’t just perfect, she also went perfectly with Yugyeom. The two shared an unrivaled chemistry on the dance floor and that did nothing to curb your own insecurities over your relationship.

It doesn’t help that Yugyeom is spending hours of his day to perfect his new dance routine with her.

But how could you even tell Yugyeom this? You were the one that pushed him to pursue dancing!

You stretch out your legs on the couch, wiggling your toes with a frown on your face. You really shot yourself in the foot this time around.

“Bro, don’t remind me,” Yugyeom sighs, much to your own surprise. You perk up, turning your attention to him and ignoring the snort from Anna. “I’m going to kill Bambam.”

“Why, what happened?” Jungkook asks.

“Yeah, what happened?” you insist, a little too eagerly.

Yugyeom turns to you with a frown. “Bambam took Lisa ice skating and she sprained her ankle.”

“Oh no,” you mutter, pressing the wine glass back to your lips to hide the smile spreading across your face.

You feel Anna’s elbow dig into your side.

“Aww, go Bambam though,” Anna cheers. “Hasn’t he been in love with her for forever?”

Yugyeom rolls his eyes, walking over to plop next to you on the couch. His arm naturally reaches overhead, leaning on the cushion just above your head. You swallow, overly aware of his body next to yours.

“It wasn’t even a date, Anna,” he sighs, shaking his head in disbelief. He looks at you then before adding, “That’s why I’ve been at the studio longer than usual. Learning the routine with a new partner is so stressful.”

“Who’s your new partner?” Jungkook asks, squeezing himself next to Anna.

“She’s an underclassman. I don’t know if you know her. Does Chungha ring a bell?”

You watch Jungkook’s expression remain unimpressed as he shrugs. “Nope.”

Pleased with his response, you relax your shoulders and unintentionally lean into Yugyeom. If it weren’t for the alcohol and your slow reflexes, you would’ve sat back up, but Yugyeom presses back into you before you can move. When you feel his hand slide around you, you tip the rest of your glass into your mouth.

“You guys wanna come watch us practice?” Yugyeom offers, seemingly unaware of your wildly beating heart.

Jungkook and Anna agrees quickly, leaving you with no choice but to watch another woman dance with your husband. The only thing that was making you feel better though is the fact that she isn’t Lisa and of course, the additional helping of sangria from your best friend.

When it is finally time for you and Yugyeom to head home, you are completely drunk. You have no idea how he was able to get you to and from the car but when you are finally sober enough to open your eyes without feeling like the world is spinning, you find yourself sprawled on your living room couch.

“One day I’m gonna get Jungkook shitfaced and toss him to Anna. See how much she likes it,” he grumbles under his breath as he approaches you. “Oh, you’re awake.”

You giggle, still drunk enough to ignore your usual nerves. “They’d probably just have drunk sex, Yugy.”

Yugyeom blushes, sitting next to you on the couch. “Let’s wipe your makeup off Y/N,” he replies, ignoring your comment.

You turn to him with your eyes closed, laughing when the cool towelette touches your skin. He chuckles against you.

“Stop laughing.”

“It tickles!”

“Just a little bit more,”

You sigh in relief, opening your eyes again to see Yugyeom tossing the dirty wipes into the trashcan.

“Come on, let’s go brush our teeth,” he beckons.

Your lips jut out instinctively as you cross your arms defiantly. “Do it for me!”

Yugyeom lets out a sigh but a smile quickly breaks onto his face anyways. He always complained to Anna about getting you drunk, but the truth is that he could never get truly mad. How could he when your drunken self becomes a cute little monster?

You are annoyingly adorable.

Even during the early months of your marriage when Yugyeom was adamant on hating you, he could never get over how cute you became when you were drunk. While he found your normal self already quite endearing, it was a different pleasure to see your guard slip down.

Grabbing your toothbrush and spreading a pinch of toothpaste over the bristles, he smiles as he walks back over to you. Your eyes open again, feeling him approach. You flash him a bright smile, showing off your wine-stained teeth.

Chuckling in defeat, he pushes your toothbrush against your smile and begins brushing. You watch him with lazy eyes, smile still adorn on your lips. It makes his skin flush under your gaze. Maybe you are still very drunk, but time feels like it stops.

It’s not often that Yugyeom gets to see you with your guard down. You are always a little shy and always put together. Whether it is helping him talk to his own parents or waking up early to make him lunch, you are always the one helping him and rarely is it ever the other way around.

It’s why times like these, Yugyeom takes his time memorizing your features.

On normal days, Yugyeom already thinks you are perfect.

On nights like tonight, he thinks you are perfectly imperfect.

And that makes you all the more beautiful.

All too soon, it is time to put you to bed. He is surprised you’re even still awake. It’s way past midnight, which is way past your usual 10PM bedtime.

“It’s time to sleep now, Y/N. Can you walk or should I carry you?”

You glance at him, fiddling with your thumbs. “Can I sleep with you tonight?”

Yugyeom chokes on his own spit. “Y-you don’t want to sleep in your own bed?”

You shake your head with a pout. “I wanna stay with you.”

He lets out a breath before taking a seat next to you on the couch. It shouldn’t be a surprise that your drunk self is being clingy, but Yugyeom can’t help his thoughts from wandering to the other day when you spilled food all over his pants.

You pat his thigh, leaning closer. He gulps, feeling nervous suddenly.

“Yugy, what’s your ideal type?”

The question catches him off guard. It’s not until you squeeze his thigh again that he remembers to answer.

“I-um...”

He glances down at your wide eyes. The anticipation in your gaze is evident.

“I like someone who makes me want to know more about her,” he finally answers.

His answer is almost sobering enough. You feel your heart dropping.

“What type of wife do you want then?”

Yugyeom wants to laugh at your sudden interrogation but you look so serious. He looks away, pretending to think deeply about your question. The truth is though, he can barely think with you so close to him. The only thing he can think to respond with is you. Of course it’s you. It could only be you.

Before Yugyeom could even accept the idea of marriage, he had already fallen for his wife. Against his will and against his pride, you had snuck into his heart.

When he looks back at you, you feel a flutter in your chest. You wonder if your buzz has gotten to your head. Hope rises in your heart the longer he stares.

“I want a wife who doesn’t like wine so much,” he lets out a small laugh when you immediately frown. If only he could kiss the pout on your lips.

Yugyeom sits up, thinking you’ve finished but you’re quick to keep him seated. With the last bits of alcohol giving you courage, you throw your leg across his lap and straddle him, palms flat against his chest.

“I want a real answer, Yugy,” you pout, too involved in your own questions to see the way Yugyeom’s entire face has gone red. “What’s something I can do that you find really charming?”

He looks at you like a deer caught in headlights. The longer it takes for him to answer, the more you begin to question whether you’ve crossed a line. But Yugyeom is just trying to form a coherent sentence in his mind, anything to keep you from pressing further into him and realizing that you’ve given him a semi.

When he doesn’t answer, you bite at your lip, crestfallen.

You know you should have seen this coming, but it still hurts. He couldn’t even think of a lie to tell?

The next question leaves you in a whisper, “Why aren’t you attracted to me?”

Yugyeom’s eyes grow big with alarm. The sadness on your face is so apparent and it makes his stomach ache with guilt. Why would you ever think this? He is literally hard right now because of you!

“I am!” He shouts back immediately.

You look back at him, but your eyes say you don’t believe him.

“I am, I really am! Why would you even ask?”

“Then,” you sink into him, shoulders slouching. “Why won’t you kiss me?”

Yugyeom looks at you, then your lips, and feels the heat rise to his cheeks. He wants to kiss you right now. He has never wanted to kiss you more than now, but you’re drunk. What if this is just the alcohol talking?

Before he can say anything though, your arms are wrapping around his neck and pushing him against you. Your lips are soft on his and you taste minty from the toothpaste.

You feel a shiver in your spine when he starts to kiss back. Soft at first, and then his arms are squeezing around your waist and you’re running your fingers through his hair, pulling him closer until it feels impossible to breathe.

It doesn’t matter. You decide kissing Yugyeom takes priority over breathing.

You moan against him when he slides his tongue into your mouth. When you rut against him, you can feel his hardness through his jeans. It sends a thrill through your body. You rub yourself harder against him, savoring the way he muffles a groan against your lips.

But when you slip your hands underneath his shirt, feeling his hot skin, Yugyeom pushes you away.

“Wait,” he mutters, catching his breath. “Y/N, we can’t.”

“What are talking about? Who’s going to stop us?” You chuckle, trying to sneak your hands back onto him, but Yugyeom is quick to grab your wrist.

He inwardly curses himself, cringing at the tightness in his pants, but he wouldn’t be able to forgive himself if he took advantage of you while you were drunk. He is not going to share your first time together when you aren’t fully sober. It is wrong no matter how much you insist on it.

With a sigh, he lifts you off of him and stands up.

“We can’t, Y/N. Come on, let’s go to sleep.”

You feel a wave of heat rise to your face as your eyes fill with tears. You stare at Yugyeom’s feet, too embarrassed to look him in the eyes.

“Come on,” he beckons, reaching for your hand.

Pulling away, you get up on your own. Without a word, you walk into your bedroom and slam the door shut.

And as you lay in bed, hot tears spill out endlessly.

You stand at the entrance of the dance studio, a sick feeling in your stomach. Yugyeom left early this morning so you were never able to talk about what happened last night.

“Are you going to open the door or what?” Anna looks at you sternly. “What happened between you two? Why are you acting so weird?”

“Yeah, did you lose your virginity or something?” Jungkook jokes.

“Anna!” You yell out, appalled.

She looks back at you with wide eyes, putting her hands in the air. “It wasn’t me, I swear!”

“Yeah, Yugyeom told me months ago,” Jungkook chuckles, a pleased smile on his face.

“Okay, I’m going home.”

Before you could march away and find a cliff to jump off of, Anna and Jungkook are pulling you by the arms and into the studio.

“Hey, you guys made it!” Yugyeom greets you cheerfully. He glances over to you and a pink hue dusts his cheeks. He rubs at the back of his neck awkwardly, unsure of what to do until a girl approaches him. You blink, breath caught in your throat when you see how beautiful she is. “Oh um, this is my new dance partner, Chungha!”

You bite at your lip, noticing far too quickly how Yugyeom’s mood changes at the sight of her. But could you blame him? In just a basic pair of black leggings and sports bra, you could see how toned her body was. Her big, bright eyes blink back at you, and you could see the fluttering of her long lashes. She looks flawless.

And then she smiles.

To think, you had been relieved Lisa was no longer his dance partner. No wonder he isn’t attracted to you. You wouldn’t be either if you were surrounded by women like Lisa and Chungha all day.

“It’s nice to meet you all!” she greets cheerfully. “I can’t wait to get your feedback.”

“Same, Yugyeom said you’re a great dancer,” Jungkook adds.

She smilsd shyly, sharing a look with Yugyeom. “That means a lot. I don’t know if I can meet those expectations though.”

“Nonsense,” Yugyeom rolls his eyes, pushing her shoulder playfully. “Stop pretending to be humble.”

As the two laugh in their own world, you finger at the end of your t-shirt uncomfortably. They have only been practicing the dance together not too long ago but they already look so close.

“Oh!” Yugyeom looks back at you, almost like an afterthought. “This is my wife by the way!”

“Oh!” Chungha exclaims, eyes wide as if she were seeing you for the first time. “It’s so great to finally meet you! When Yugyeom said he was married I was so surprised, but you are so cute!”

You force out a smile, accepting the compliment—though, you wonder if it really was. It sure didn’t feel like one.

“Well, we won’t hold you up anymore!” Anna interrupts, rubbing your arm comfortingly. “We’ll go make ourselves comfy while you two get ready.”

“Hey, it’s our sister-in-laws!” Bambam and Taehyung welcome you from their seat by the mirrors.

“Soon,” Anna grins coyly, sharing a look with Jungkook.

Ignoring the two lovebirds, Taehyung grabs your arm, ushering you to take a seat between him and Bambam.

“I haven’t seen you in forever,” he pouts before flashing his iconic square smile. You answer with a weak one of your own.

“How long have you two been here?”

“Since the morning. We had to practice our routines too,” Taehyung answers.

“Yeah, and those two have been at it since we got here. I think knowing there’d be a live audience today made her nervous,” Bambam adds, referring to Chungha.

“It’s just us though,”

“Still,” Taehyung shrugs his shoulders. “This is her first performance since starting uni.”

You glance at the two who are currently crouched over a tablet and reviewing a video of their practice. She is giggling over something Yugyeom had said and is slapping his shoulder playfully.

You frown. “Doesn’t look nervous to me.”

Taehyung smirks, bending his head to meet your eyes. “Is someone jealous?”

You frown even more, lip jutting out in a pout.

“Aw, poor baby, it’s okay Y/N,” Taehyung chuckle, patting your head. “She’s harmless.”

“Tae!”

You both look over to see Yugyeom staring from across the room. His eyes meet yours briefly before he averts his eyes to Taehyung.

“Can you come over for a second? We need a second opinion,” he says.

“We do?” Chungha asks softly.

You sigh, hugging your knees.

Bambam chuckles beside you. “It’s hard work liking someone, isn’t it?”

You turn your head, giving him an empathetic smile. “You of all people should know.”

You watch Bambam’s shoulders slump, slightly regretting your comment when you see the look on his face. But Bambam is quick to recover.

“Yugyeom cares for you more than you think.”

You have a hard time believing that, memories of last night’s embarrassment resurfacing again. Instead, you cross your arms and turn your whole body away from the three across from you towards Bambam.

“She called me cute,” you pout.

“Isn’t that a good thing?”

You sigh. “Not when it’s coming from someone who’s drop dead gorgeous. Cute sounds like an insult.”

Bambam shakes his head in disbelief but doesn’t try to change your mind.

“Sounds like insecurity to me.”

You feel a flush across your cheeks. “Yeah well! Maybe I wouldn’t be if…”

“If?”

You bite at your lip. If Yugyeom had continued kissing you last night? If you went all the way with him? If you hadn’t spent an entire year essentially being friendzoned by your own husband?

You sigh. “I don’t know.”

Bambam gives you a pat on the back. “I’m sure whatever it is, it’s just another misunderstanding. Just talk it out.”

You nod, not wanting to talk about your relationship problems anymore.

“Ladies and gentlemen!” Taehyung announces, jumping to the center of the room like a TV host. “May I introduce to you, for the first time ever! Yugyeom and Chungha!”

You clap along weakly as everyone cheers. But the sick feeling in your gut only grows once the performance starts.

The dance is a passionate one. Their bodies are constantly tangled together, Yugyeom chasing after Chungha. You dig your nails into the flesh of your palm as Yugyeom presses himself into Chungha’s back side.

But more than the touching, what hurts the most is the way he looks at her. He looks like he wants her. You knew what you were signing yourself up for when you pushed Yugyeom to pursue dancing, but when did he become such a good actor too?

He’s never looked at you like that before.

It takes a room full of clapping to get you out of your thoughts. You wish you hadn’t though. Chungha is beaming up at Yugyeom and he is looking back like she is the only girl in the room.

“How were you able to watch Lisa do this dance with Yugyeom?” you mutter to Bambam, looking away from the two on the dance floor.

“Trust,” he answers easily. “Besides, Yugyeom’s too dorky for Lisa. She would never fall for him.”

“Hey,” you scold lightly.

“You can either be mad at him or defend him, Y/N. You can’t choose both!”

You roll your eyes, heat rising to your cheeks. “I’m not mad at him, he didn’t do anything wrong.”

“Then why does Yugyeom keep looking at you like he’s sorry?”

You only sigh, too afraid to say out loud the answer you hold in your heart.

That maybe, he is only sorry because he can’t love you back.

You sit on the couch of your living room, absentmindedly spooning your ice cream that is now soup. A couple days have passed and you and Yugyeom are back on good terms. At least on the surface. Silently, the both of you seem to have agreed to pretend what happened the other night on this couch had never happened.

You decided to stop thinking about the way Yugyeom looked at Chungha or how she was so much better than you. Again, you do what you are good at, using your blind optimism to mask the hurt you are feeling inside.

“I’m back!” Yugyeom calls out as he steps through the entrance. He spots the back of your head from the living room and glances at the TV only to find that you are staring at a black screen.

“Hey,” he calls out again more softly, approaching you on the couch.

“Oh, Yugyeom!” You startle, before offering him a smile. “Back from practice?”

“Mhm,” he returns a hesitant smile.

“Aren’t you early? What time is it?” You glance over to the clock on the wall only to find that it is already 9PM. “Oh wow, look at the time! Did you have dinner yet?”

Yugyeom shakes his head, observing how your eyes never quite focus, glancing at his torso briefly before darting back to your bowl of melted ice cream and then the clock on the wall.

“I left some dinner for you in the kitchen, you just have to heat it up.” You place your bowl on the coffee table. “Want me to get it for you?”

He places a hand on your thigh, stopping you from leaving your seat. “I got it.”

He rises to his feet before pausing. Yugyeom looks at you, his eyebrows arching with concern. He stares for a moment. Ever since you guys came back from the dance studio together, you had been quiet. Everything you did and said felt a little too robotic. A little cold even, like you were keeping him at a distance. And then he thought about your lips. The way they felt against his that night—cool from the aftertaste of toothpaste, but hot against his tongue.

“Yugyeom?”

He swallows. “N-Nothing.”

You look at him for a moment longer before forcing out a smile. “Let me just heat up your dinner and then I’ll head to bed!”

Yugyeom watches as you hastily leave him for the kitchen. It is obvious that you are still bothered and this time around, Yugyeom is sure he knows why. But he doesn’t even know how to start talking about it. He can’t even think about the other night without feeling like a flustered mess.

And by the way you are smiling at him, it feels like you don’t want to talk about it either.

Were you embarrassed about it? Was he right and it was just the alcohol talking? Maybe you were regretting it now.

“It’ll only take another minute and you can take it off the stove,” you smile up at him, giving his arm a pat before you walk away.

“T-Thanks,” he mutters. “Good night.”

You smile weakly before closing the door.

Yugyeom sighs, staring at his dinner on the stove. Even when you aren’t feeling your best, you still take care of him. He wonders how he can make you happy.

His thoughts wander to Taehyung. What if it was him you had walked in on at the dance studio during your freshman year? Would you have fallen for Taehyung instead?

He had seen the way Tae looked at you the night of the party. It was the first night since the wedding that you had gotten all dolled up. He saw you as soon as you stepped through the door. He was sure everyone had their eyes on you.

Even with his own stubbornness back then, he couldn’t stand watching everyone eyeing you at the party. Although he had been determined to avoid you that night, it was the look Tae gave you that drew the line for him.

Since then, you and Tae have become close friends. It annoyed the hell out of him especially when Tae was blatantly flirting with you just to get on his nerves, but he couldn’t even complain. It was karma. He deserves it for the months of hell he put you through.

You may have liked him first, but Yugyeom wonders if you’d still like him for long. With the way things are going, it seems like you are going to realize how subpar of a husband he is and leave him for someone better.

The very thought makes Yugyeom want to hurl.

He shuts off the stove with a sigh. Why is he so bad at communicating with you?

Despite being tired from practice, that night, Yugyeom couldn’t sleep. His thoughts keep going back to you and the sad smile on your face tonight. He did that.

And now here he was, hiding in his bed like a coward. Sitting up, Yugyeom turns on his lights with a sigh. This was not okay. He was not going to repeat the same mistake again. He had to talk to you.

With a renewed purpose, Yugyeom marches over to your room, but when he stops at your door, he freezes. What is he doing? You’re probably asleep by now. He glances at the clock down the hall. It’s almost midnight.

Maybe he should wait until the morning instead.

Just as he’s about to turn on his heels though, your door opens. You both jump in surprise.

“You’re awake!”

“Yugyeom?” You rub at the sleep in your eyes. “What are you doing out here?”

He shuffles awkwardly. “Oh, I uh…”

You stiffen, anxiety creeping up your spine as you watch him fidget in front of your doorway. For you, there can only be one reason for Yugyeom to be coming to you in the middle of the night.

He must have come to his senses.

Yugyeom takes in a sharp breath, steeling himself. “Can we talk?”

Your stomach sinks. You want to tell him no.

Instead, you quietly step aside and let him through. He sits on the edge of your bed nervously. You stare at him from the doorway still.

“I-” his voice trails off before it can fully start. He bites at his lip, pulling at the chapped skin until it is wet and raw. “I…”

When no other words come, you let out a tired sigh. “Gyeom,”

He looks up at you and you can see the worry digging creases into his forehead. You wish you could push him out of your room. You aren’t ready for this conversation to happen. But Yugyeom looks at you so helplessly, you don’t have the strength to deny him.

So, with a pang in your heart, you speak. “You never answered my question the other night. Not seriously anyways.”

He looks at you curiously and you approach him. “Will you answer me now?”

“I-sure.”

You take a seat next to him, tucking your hands beneath your thighs. “What kind of girl do you actually like?”

Yugyeom turns his head your way, looking lost. “But I did answer you. Someone who makes me want to get to know her.”

You squeeze your shoulders together, staring down at the floor. “So, someone with stories…someone with experience?”

Yugyeom swallows, feeling himself fall deeper into a hole. “N-no! Not necessarily…”

“What about your exes? What were they like?” you glance at him, wanting to watch his face but scared of the honesty you’ll see.

Yugyeom’s face flushes red. “W-what? Where is this coming from, Y/N?”

Your face falls before you drop your head once more. “Nothing, it’s stupid. I just thought…maybe if I changed? Do you think we could ever be more than friends?”

Yugyeom chuckles softly. It feels unnatural in the tense atmosphere though. You wonder if he’s laughing at you. You wonder if the very idea is that absurd to him.

“Y/N, you’re my wife.”

“On paper,” you mutter. You shift on the bed, wringing your hands together. “But you don’t even want to hang out with me much, let alone date.”

“That! That’s because I’m shy!” he blurts. He tugs on your hand to look his way, but you’re too ashamed to look him in the face.

You wonder if you’re being selfish by putting him on the spot like this.

“You don’t have to lie to me,” you resign, pulling your hand out of his grasp. “I know this arrangement was never your choice. And well, you can’t control who you’re attracted to.”

“I’m not lying though. I really like you, Y/N, I’m just…I’m just really shy.”

You frown at his insistence. “You aren’t shy around Chungha or Lisa.”

Yugyeom looks at you surprised. “Chungha and Lisa are just friends! I don’t think of them like that!”

“That’s impossible! Chungha and Lisa are both so pretty and charming and sexy! They’re the whole package!” You glare at him angrily.

“Yeah, maybe for Bambam!”

“I bet you’ve talked to Chungha more times than you’ve ever talked to me,” you grumble, crossing your arms.

“Yeah, well, I could say the same for Taehyung,” Yugyeom blurts, mirroring your posture.

You raise your brows in surprise. “Tae?”

“Don’t play dumb, he was obviously flirting with you at the party.”

“What party?” you turn to him confused. “Wait, are you talking about the party where I first met him a year ago?”

“Yeah, and I bet if you met him any earlier, you would’ve liked him instead!”

You frown, sitting cross legged on the bed so you could face him fully now. “I’ve liked you for two years before you even knew I existed. Don’t try to change the subject when you were flirting with Chungha right in front of me just a few days ago!”

“That was not flirting!”

“Not saying it’s a bad thing! You can flirt with whoever you want because you’re allowed to like whoever you want. Clearly, it’s not me!”

Yugyeom guffaws in exasperation, cupping his forehead with one hand. “Goddammit, but it is you. It’s been you this whole time.”

“I’m a big girl, Gyeom, you can give me the hard truth.”

He straightens, glaring back at you. “You want the truth?”

“Yeah, I do.”

Yugyeom scoots closer to you. “Remember when you and Anna had that bachelorette party?”

You pause, frown deepening. “It wasn’t really a bachelorette party, it was just the two of us drinking wine.”

“Nope, you insisted it was a bachelorette party,” he argues, chest puffing out. “I know this because when you got wasted over a bottle of wine, it was me you called to come get you. It was me who carried you back to your apartment and tucked you into bed, but not before you tried to strip down to your underwear while announcing your virginity to the entire complex.”

You gape at him, horrified. “I did what?”

“And I have liked you ever since,” a small smile stretches across his face. “I found out the perfect, goody two-shoes girl was masquerading as a terrible lap dancer by night and ever since then, I’ve wanted to get to know even more sides of you.”

You close your eyes, pressing a thumb to your temple. “Wait, back up, Gyeom, I gave you a lap dance?”

“Yeah, and a terrible one at that,” he laughs.

You falter, anger dissipating quickly. “I don’t remember this.”

“That was only the first time, you know,” he looks at you with a small, teasing smile.

You cringe. “How come you never told me?”

He shrugs. “It happened during the time I was trying really hard not to like you. Anyways, I didn’t think it was something you’d be proud to learn.”

“After seeing all of that,” your voice comes out small, like you want to make a joke, but your tone doesn’t quite match, “wouldn’t you rather someone like Chungha?”

Yugyeom sighs loudly. “What’s with you and Chungha?”

“You two have chemistry,” you admit, lips pouting.

“Because we’re friends,” he explains.

“Then what are we?” You look up at him nervously. He meets you with an equally anxious gaze.

Without answering you, he puts his hands out towards you, palms facing up. When you tilt your head curiously, he takes your hand in his.

“You make me nervous,” he mutters, and you can feel the clamminess of his hot palms against yours. Your brows raise in surprise and you watch as a flush of pink rises to his cheeks. “You think I’m flirting with Chungha, but actually I’ve been trying to flirt with you this whole time. I guess I’m just terrible at it.”

You swallow, not sure what to say to this confession. From the way he looks at you, you know he’s being sincere, which only makes you more confused.

“And I’m terrible at it because,” Yugyeom pauses, face tomato red as he tries to compose himself. He looks away and you grip his hand tighter. “I think you have this idea about me, like I’m cool or something. You’re always saying I inspired you to pursue your dreams, but I think it’s the other way around. And it’s…it’s just a lot of pressure.”

“I-I’m sorry…I didn’t mean to make you feel this way.”

“I know,” Yugyeom looks at you softly, “because you’re you, and you see the good in everything—even me. But if I’m being honest, that cool guy you had a crush on at the dance studio? I’m not sure I’m him. I’m clumsy and childish and always cause accidents when I’m around you. The closer we get, the more I worry you’ll figure this out and regret liking me.”

You thread your fingers through his and pull his hands to your chest, shaking your head adamantly. “That will never happen!”

He chuckles, but the laughter doesn’t meet his eyes. “You can’t promise that.”

“Yes, I can,” you tell him stubbornly. “I moment I said, ‘I do’ I promised just that.”

“Can you say that after my next confession?” he scoffs.

Your brows furrow, but you don’t let go of his hands.

“Do you really want to know who my first love was?” he asks quietly.

You nod, heartbeat thrumming in your ear.

“It was dance,” he sighs, looking down. “It’s always been dance.”

You look at him confused, trying to process this information. “You mean…”

“I’m a virgin, too,” he mumbles, the tips of his ears glowing hot red. When you don’t say anything, he looks up with a small frown. “Still think I’m that cool guy?”

You can’t help the smile that stretches across your face. Without thinking, you spring from the bed and pounce onto him. Yugyeom catches you by the waist easily, his eyes wide with shock at your sudden actions, but he holds you tight in his arms anyways. You shake in his arms, giggles erupting from you and tickling the crook of his neck.

“Why would that ever make you uncool?” you laugh, fingers combing through the back of his hair.

Yugyeom relaxes into your touch, resting his chin on your shoulder. “But, what if I’m not good at it?”

You pull away to look at him. He chews on his lips timidly.

“Well, it’s not like I have anything to compare you to,” you chuckle, rubbing gently at the nape of his neck. “We can take our time, learn together.”

Finally, Yugyeom smiles, relief rushing through him. “It’s not that I don’t want to, just so you know. I just want to make sure you have a good first experience too. What if I hurt you?”

“It hurt more thinking you didn’t like me.”

He sighs softly, pressing his forehead to yours. You can feel the ghost of his breath on your lips. “Trust me, I like you a lot more than you realize.”

“Oh, I’m starting to realize,” you roll your hips tentatively against him and his lashes flutter in surprise as you feel the outline of his semi hard on through his pajama pants. His grip on your waist tightens.

“W-what are you doing?”

You can feel him shiver against you and probably for the first time in this relationship, your chest inflates with confidence.

“Starting lesson one,” you whisper into his ear as you press your core harder against him. The feeling of his hardness blooms excitement throughout your skin. Never has anyone been this close to you in this way. The thought used to scare you, but right now, you’ve never been more thrilled.

“Are you sure?” the words barely make it out of his throat as you press a kiss to his neck. You can feel his breath hitch at the slight graze of your lips, and it urges you on. And despite Yugyeom’s cautious words, his arms pull you closer and he tilts his head, giving you better access.

“The surest I’ve ever been,” you reassure him before sucking on the skin of his jugular. His pulse beats against your lips and you’re happy to know you aren’t the only one whose heart is racing.

“You’re…How’re you so good at this?” Yugyeom mumbles, squeezing his eyes shut in agonized pleasure as you roll your hips against him once more.

“I’ve thought about this a lot,” comes your breathy confession. When he doesn’t say anything, you glance at him. “Is that strange?”

He breaks out into smile, shaking his head. “I’m glad it wasn’t just me.”

You smile, “Really?”

Yugyeom nods, lips chasing yours. “You don’t know how many boners I’ve had to hide from you.”

His hot breath fans at your lips before he is pulling your bottom lip between his teeth. You can’t help the moan that muffles against his mouth as his tongue explores your mouth. When he pulls away, you are gasping to catch your breath.

Contrary to the kiss, Yugyeom looks at you with the softest gaze and wipes at the wetness of your lips with a gentle thumb. He lingers at your bottom lip for a moment longer.

Yugyeom sucks in a breath, eyes dilating when you take his thumb into your mouth. You meet his stare with hooded lids as you suck his entire thumb into your mouth, swirling your tongue around the digit. When you release him with a pop, you can feel him twitch underneath you.

There is a hunger in your core that you’ve never felt before. Your entire body aches for Yugyeom in its most primal form. You want him. The thrumming in your chest only further confirms this.

You clutch at his plain tee, heat rising to your cheeks, “Can I taste you?”

Yugyeom groans, throwing his head back. You can’t help salivating at the sight of his Adam’s apple bobbing. When Yugyeom looks back at you he almost looks pained.

“I don’t think I’ll last, Y/N,” he mutters, ears reddening.

His confession makes your heart inflate and you press a kiss to his jawline.

“It’s okay, I won’t time you. I don’t know if I’ll be any good anyways,” you smile to lift the mood, but Yugyeom shakes his head.

“No, let me make you feel good first,” He presses a kiss over your smile. “I want to take care of you this time.”

You swallow, heart thrumming in your ear. “Well, what if I don’t last?”

He chuckles, kissing down your throat. You shudder, skin prickling at his breath.

“Oh, I’ll make sure you don’t,” he mumbles, sucking at the sensitive skin. You groan, threading your fingers through the back of his hair. “I’m no quitter, Y/N, and we’ve got all night.”

You shiver, stomach twisting with excitement. Not knowing what else to say, you can only nod when he sinks his thumbs into the waistband of your shorts.

But Yugyeom doesn’t move further. Instead, he looks at you again, eyes serious. “Are you sure you’re okay with this? We can stop if it gets too much.”

And although your cheeks heat up at just the graze of his fingers at your hips, you nod without hesitation. “I want you, Gyeom. I’m ready.”

He sucks in a quiet breath. “Lay down for me?”

His request is a whisper, barely audible, but you scramble to the pillows. Yugyeom follows right behind and when you sink your head into the pillows, he meets you, right above, lips finding yours once more. As his tongue explores your mouth, his thighs press between yours, spreading your legs apart. You can’t help being hyperaware of the dampness of your underwear as he does this.

But the thought quickly leaves your mind when he places a hesitant palm to your chest. To your embarrassment, your nipples are already hard with arousal when his fingers graze against them. He groans against your mouth, fingers rubbing rough circles around the peaked buds.

You find yourself already breathless at the sensation, the sensitive skin sending tingles straight to your core. You moan when he slips his hand underneath your shirt, the pleasure growing ten folds with his warm hands on your bare skin.

“God, you’re so soft,” Yugyeom groans, squeezing your breasts in his palms. “Can I take this off?”

You nod quickly, hands already coming to the ends of your shirt to help him slip it off. Yugyeom leans back on his heels, eyes eating you up while you laid topless in front of him, chest heaving from just his small touches.

“Gyeom,” you mutter, feeling self-conscious when he doesn’t move.

There’s a glint in his eyes as his fingers meet your waistband again. You suck in a breath, nodding silently for him to continue. He licks at his lips, pulling the flimsy fabric of your shorts off of you.

You cringe at the sight of your yellow cotton underwear, the pink heart patterns looking suddenly very childish with Yugyeom’s eyes on them now.

“I-I have better underwear-” you rush to cover yourself but Yugyeom moves your hand.

His palms squeeze your thighs, and he looks at you with a reassuring smile. “It’s cute. You’re cute, and beautiful and charming and sexy. The whole package.”

You blush, hearing your words said back to you.

“Plus,” he grins, hands sliding up your thighs and you shiver. “These ones are soaked, just for me.”

Your breath catches in your throat when he runs a finger up the wet cotton. He chuckles darkly at the sound of your whimper when he circles around your clit. It’s just a whisper of a touch and yet you find yourself careening.

Your heart feels like the wings of a hummingbird, flapping against your chest. Never have you laid yourself out, so bare, for someone. It’s scary, being so vulnerable, and yet you find yourself wanting to jump into the darkness of the unknown.

The way Yugyeom looks at you is dark and heavy, like he is trying to swallow you whole, hungry to take in every piece of you. And maybe with anyone else this would frighten you, but it’s Yugyeom, and so you are excited. Excited and eager to give all of yourself to him.

“Can I?” he asks, pulling at the edge of your underwear.

“Please,” you consent, lifting your hips.

Yugyeom groans helplessly at your bare sight, dripping wet just for his eyes to see. He lifts at his t-shirt, skin already hot. You swallow, eyes traveling down his bare torso, to the tattoo stretching across his rib cage and then the growing bulge his thin pajama pants does very little to hide. You clench around nothing, just imagining what’s beneath.

Yugyeom catches the movement and curses. You don’t even know what you do to him.

Your eyes shudder close when you feel his fingers back on you, spreading your slick in circles around your clit.

“Does that feel okay?”

You answer with a whimper, arching into his touch.

He bites at his bottom lip, watching you squirm beneath him. You are so sensitive and so eager. Nothing he could have ever imagined could measure up to this view. He could probably cum to this sight alone. The strain of his pants warns him of the very possibility.

“More,” you barely manage to croak out between a moan but Yugyeom hears you and without hesitation, he dives into your heat, eager for a taste.

Your eyes flutter open at the new feeling, hooded eyes staring down at his head between your thighs. You moan, embarrassment heating your cheeks, but your fingers thread through his hair and push him deeper.

The sting of his scalp only drives him on, lapping at you hungrily. When he moans into your folds, you find yourself vibrating with him. His tongue feels so soft and delicious against you and when he sucks on your clit you tremble at the sensation shooting straight to your core.

Sweat glazes your forehead and you strain to keep your eyes focused on Yugyeom. You can’t even see his face, but you can’t pull your gaze away. The top of his head bobs eagerly and from behind, you can see him thrusting into your sheets.

You whimper, feeling your abdomen tighten when he rolls his hips extra rough.

“Gyeom,” you squeeze around his hair strands.

He looks up at you, eyes glazed over with lust, tongue still swirling around you at an agonizing pace. Squeezing your thigh, he presses a finger to your entrance. He presses, barely entering but you find yourself clenching already.

“Gyeom,” you whine, head falling into the pillow in frustration.

You feel him chuckle against you. A soft kiss to your clit. And then he slips a finger into you slowly. You’re so wet, he slips right in easily. You close your eyes, savoring the unfamiliar feeling. Unfamiliar, but not unwanted. Your body hums for more.

He dips his finger in and out, enjoying the way your body arches, trying to chase after his finger each time he pulls out.

“More?” he asks, teasing two fingers at your entrance. You nod eagerly, squirming at his touch.

Yugyeom dips two fingers into you, dick twitching at the feeling of your tight walls squeezing around his digits. When he curls his fingers, you let out a loud moan, eyes fluttering shut. He reads your body easily, mouth back on your clit as he repeats the motion of his fingers over and over.

Your body tightens, heating up quickly. There’s a burn in your abdomen, a fire that flickers every time he sucks around your clit and curls his fingers against your flesh. You clench your fists around your sheets, feeling your heart pound faster against your chest.

Your whole body trembles, toes curling and abdomen squeezing until it feels like your soul lifts from your body and everything goes white.

When you come to, chest heaving like you just ran a marathon, Yugyeom is back on his knees, looking at you in awe. His lips are red and chin, wet with your arousal.

“Was that okay?” he asks, a boyish smile on his lips.

You chuckle, eyes rolling to the ceiling. “That was amazing.”

“Good.” You feel him lie on the bed beside you, arm coming around your waist.

You turn on your side, meeting his gaze. “Now it’s my turn.”

His eyes widen and the confidence from before quickly fades behind pink flustered cheeks.

“I-Are you sure? You don’t have to.”

Your hands travel down and land on the tent in his pants, straining to be released. You lift a brow at him, but he only gets more red.

“I want to,” you tell him. “I want to feel you inside me. I want this.”

He gulps and you feel him twitch against your palm. “I-I might not last long.”

You kiss his worries away. “That’s alright, you said we had all night, didn’t you?”

You pull at his waistband and he sighs at the release of his cock. You sit up and Yugyeom kicks the rest of his clothes off before helping you straddle him.

You look at him with wide eyes, before looking back at his cock. His tip is red and shiny with precum. Your eyes follow the vein that travels down the length of his cock. You can’t even help it, your mouth waters.

Your stomach flips nervously. Yugyeom seems to sense your worries when his hand rests over yours.

“You really don’t have to. We can wait.”

“I do!” you say quickly. “I just-,” you blink, swallowing thickly. “Will you fit?”

Yugyeom groans, hands squeezing around your thighs roughly. “Are you trying to make me cum before we even start?”

“I-no,” you feel your cheeks grow hot. “It’s a legitimate question!”

He chuckles, until your hand comes around his shaft. Yugyeom sighs at your touch, your soft, small hands feel like heaven compared to his own. Though you don’t intend to tease him, your hand rubs him agonizingly slow as you feel the smoothness of his skin and the ridges of his veins pulsing in your palm. You watch in awe as you squeeze up and a small clear bead of precum buds at his slit.

Yugyeom’s breath hitches when you dip your head down and lick at his slit. Your brows shoot up at the taste. He’s salty, but it’s Yugyeom and you find that you don’t mind it. Instead, your mouth waters for more.

“Fuck,” Yugyeom curses, stopping you when you try to dip your tongue down again. You look at him in surprise, but he’s quick to reassure you. “Next time, baby, I really want to last.”

You nod, flushing at the pet name.

You rise onto your knees, hands coming back down his cock to align him to your entrance. You shiver, feeling his tip between your folds. Yugyeom looks just as nervous, the heat of your entrance making his heart race.

It takes a few tries, his cock teasing between your folds, before he enters. Barely there, but you feel the stretch. He’s much bigger than his fingers, but the stretch isn’t the pain you always imagined. Unfamiliar, maybe a little uncomfortable, but nothing scary at all.

This realization fills you with a newfound courage and you sink down onto his cock with an extended sigh.

“Fuck,” Yugyeom whispers a strained curse, a devil’s grip on your hips as he squeezed his eyes shut.

Sweat beaded on his forehead and slips down his face as his jaw clenches. You’re so fucking tight and warm around him. When your cunt clenches, he groans, balls tightening. “Fuck, don’t do that.”

You still, falling onto his chest. You can hear his heart thrumming wildly in his chest.

“Sorry,” he heaves, hugging you tightly against him. “Just, I need a minute. You feel like fucking heaven, baby.”

You smile, pressing a kiss to his chest. When his cock twitches inside you, you shiver. To be honest, you’re no better either. You feel so full with him inside you. This feeling is so new, but so right. You can feel your walls pulsing around him. Or maybe it’s his cock pulsing against your walls. Probably both.

You close your eyes, savoring the feeling before Yugyeom finally let’s out a soft breath. And then, he is lifting his hips. You moan, the movement pushing him deeper into you. You place your palms on his chest, sitting up.

He looks at you with hazy eyes as you lift off his cock before sliding back down his length. Yugyeom’s moan is load and uninhibited. The sound sends another wave of arousal straight to your core.

“Oh god,” he moans, hips lifting to meet yours every time. “Fuck!”

You strain to keep your pace, his arms helping you out as you gave into the wave of pleasure each time his thick cock slide into you. Already, your whole body was buzzing with pleasure.

“Fuck, fuck,” Yugyeom’s desperate moan meets your ears and then you feel his arms wrapping around your waist, pulling you to his chest. He groans, teeth digging into your shoulder.

And then you feel it. Hot cum shooting into the deepest part of you, flooding you with warmth. The sting of Yugyeom’s teeth sinking in your skin, the sound of his heaving breath and heart beat against your ear, the pulse of his cock thrusting into you as he rode out his high—you feel like one body against his and the feeling makes your eyes wet.

You smile, pressing a kiss to his jawline as he softened inside of you.

He let out a satisfied sigh as his cock slipped out and you felt his cum slide out of you. “I’m sorry,” he finally says. “I told you I wouldn’t last long.”

You shush him with a kiss.

“I couldn’t have asked for anything better,” you smile.

His hand on your waist tightens. “You’re really the best thing to ever happen to me.”

You giggle, tension breaking. “I could get used to this Yugyeom.”

He smiles, hand coming to your cheek. “I mean it.”

He looks at you quietly. It’s a fleeting moment, but the feeling lingers. You feel warmth blooming in your chest.

You kiss him again, “I know, Gyeom. This time, I really know now.”

#got7 scenarios #got7 imagines #got7 reactions #kim yugyeom #arranged marriage au #marriage au #marriage life series #fluff #angst #smut #fanfic

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