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millenialfanfictionaddiction · 1 year

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Comparing you to their Ex girlfriend

Kiyoomi Sakusa x Fem! reader; Atsumu Miya x Fem! Reader

Warnings: toxic behavior, swearing, Sakusa and Atsumu being big ole jerks, mention of ex’s, angst to comfort

AN: because I enjoy pain : D

Sakusa

Dating life had been pretty dull before you met MSBY’s famed spiker, Kiyoomi Sakusa. It had taken awhile to get to know him. He was a guarded and rather brass individual, not talking much to anyone outside his small circle. However after weeks of trying and being rejected, you finally were able to break thought his defensive walls. He had finally given you a chance.

Now, almost a year later, you and Kiyoomi had a well established routine. It had taken a while to figure out each other quirks, but soon you were able to function as one unit, living your lives both independently and cohesively.

However, one thing you struggled continuously to get use to was Kiyoomi’s high standards of cleanliness. No matter how hard you tried, you never were able to keep up. You knew it was a big reason why Kiyoomi and you hadn’t taken the next step in your relationship, why you hadn’t yet moved in together. It was often a topic of discussion and many times arguments. Your disagreement’s were never fully settled as you both always managed to run out of steam, knowing this was an issue that wouldn’t be quickly resolved.

You tried you hardest, watching his routine and replicating it as best as you could but it was still never enough for him. Despite all this, you loved and adored Kiyoomi and wanted nothing more than the spend the rest of your life with him.

One night, you were sitting on his couch while you watched a movie. He had been at practice all day and you had just gotten off of work. You spent most of you time at his place, knowing perfectly well that he preferred it. While it was inconvenient at times, you kept clothes and the essentials at his place to make mornings and weekends a little easier.

“They are redoing carpeting in the hallway this week,” Kiyoomi spoke as you looked at him. You knew he had been hoping management would upgrade for a while now so you were thrilled.

“I’m glad! I know you’ve wanted this for a while. You always complain about the stains and stuff so it’s good that they are finally taking notice,” you said as he hummed in agreement.

“Yeah but I’ll have to stay in a hotel for a few days because I won’t be able to have access to my apartment so that kind of sucks.”

You didn’t see this as an inconvenience but rather as an opportunity. You had been waiting to show Kiyoomi how you’ve improved your cleaning skills and you were certain that they were beyond up to his standards.

“You know, you could just stay with me?” You spoke as Kiyoomi looked at you, smiling and then chuckling. Confused, your brows furrowed as you waited for him to speak.

“No offense sweetie but I’ve seen your cleaning skills and I think I’ll take my chances at a hotel,” he laughed. You sat up, looking at him as he stared.

“Omi I’ve been working my butt off to keep my place clean. I do everything you asked and I’ve been keeping in mind the things you taught me,” you said as Kiyoomis face fell. He could tell you were serious.

“YN it’s ok. Cleaning isn’t everyone’s strong suit and it’s obviously not yours,” he replied as you stood up, offended by his words.

“I’m trying my hardest Kiyoomi! I come home, exhausted everyday and I clean. Then, instead of relaxing, I drive over here and spend my nights with you because I know you are more comfortable in your own environment!” You shout as Kiyoomi rolls his eyes m, standing up and walking past you.

“YN you are making a huge deal of this again, we’ve been over this!” He spoke going into the kitchen and plgrabbing his cleaning supplies. You knew he cleaned when he was stress, it wasn’t like his normal routine.

“Omi I’m not trying to-”

“YN just shut up ok?! Just shut up! It’s always something with you! This is always a fight and I’m sick of it! If you were half as good as Becca was at cleaning we’d already be living together!” He growled as you froze, you mouth falling slack as you body went cold. How could he? How could he bring her up? Of everything he could have said, how could he have stooped so low.

You straightened you back, tears filling your eyes as you heart began to crumble, “I’ll never be good enough for you will I Kiyoomi?” Turning on your heels, you grabbed your purse and shoes, walking out the front door.

Leaning on the counter, his anger began to grow, not at you but at himself. He couldn’t believe she had come to his mind, someone he hadn’t thought about in years. Becca had been his high school sweetheart, and he thought she was it. Unfortunately, schedules clashed and his life as a pro-volleyball superstar skyrocketed. He found less and less time for her and she had grown sick of it. Before he knew it, he had come home to an empty apartment, he spare key on the counter with a note that simply rid, “I fell out of love with you.” That was the last Tim he had seen or heard from her again. He figured she’d moved on, found someone who was worthy of her time.

The breakup had broken him in more ways than he carried to admit. He became more reclusive, pulling away from friends and family. He got in the habit of being alone, functioning without someone at his side. That all changed when he met you. You were gorgeous, funny and so outgoing. He immediately found himself attracted to you but he was scared, scare of his heart being broken again, scared he would lose something so precious.

You continued to peruse him, despite his desperate attempts to keep you away. He wanted to be with you, wanted to move on but his fear of being left alone was paralyzing. Finally, he relented and went on a date with you. Soon one turned into two and then three and then six. Your relationship happened effortlessly and he enjoyed every minute of it. He knew he loved you, knew he wanted to spend the rest of his life with you but he was afraid to make that next step so he kept you at bay with his ridiculous cleaning demands. He knew they were outrageous and over the top but they protected him, they protected his heart.

He stood there, once again in silence as his breathe began to hitch. He had done it again, he had driven the person he lived away. His arms fell to his side as he reached for his phone. He pulled up your contact information and hit the dial button.

The phone rang and rang as you ignored it. You knew Kiyoomi was calling but you couldn’t bare speaking to him, you curled up in your freshly made bed as your tears overwhelmed you. The pain of her name imprinted on your brain as you sobbed.

Kiyoomi had told you about Becca, he had told you why she had left. You knew he was guarded and you were determined to do whatever you could to fix it. You hated how broken he was, how he felt he couldn’t trust anyone. It was a big reason as to why you worked your hardest to live up to his standards, thinking maybe, just maybe, he would let his guard down.

“You’re such an idiot Yn,” you cried as you covered your head up and sobbed deeply.

“Yeah, what’s up?” Atsumu answered as Kiyoomi stood in his kitchen, taking his hand down his face. He had messed up and in a bad way.

“I really fucked update with Yn Sumu. She left and I don’t think she’s coming back,” he murmured into the phone.

“What happened? Did she finally have enough of your bullshit demands?” Atsumu laughed as Kiyoomi sighed.

“We got into a fight because she wanted to me stay with her while my apartment was getting some work done. I thought she was joking but she wasn’t and I kind of threw Becca in her face.”

“You did what??? You asshole!” Atsumu shouted as Kiyoomi pulled the phone away from his ear, “I mean come on dude, YN has been dealing with your bullshit for almost a year now! She does everything you ask of her and all she wants is for you to see that. I think she’s more than shown you she can handle your ridiculous standards dude. Plus she’s probably the most patient woman I’ve ever seen. I mean, literally dealing with you is just as bad as emo Bokuto!”

Kiyoomi didn’t answer because he knew what Atsumu was saying was true. He knew his standards were high and that in a lot of ways, they were just a guard.

“You know she loves you right? She’s not going anywhere Omi. She chased you down for months and she’s stood by you for almost a year, she’s not leaving dude,” Atsumu spoke softly as a tear rolled down kiyoomi’s cheek.

“I think I need to talk to her,” he responded as he heard Atsumu mutter an “mmhmm” before hanging up. He grabbed his keys, locking up before making his way to your apartment.

You groaned as the knocking on your door became obsessive. You had absolutely no intention on answering the door in the state you were in but the person had continued to knock for well over 20 minutes.

With mascara running down your cheeks and you hair in disarray, you made your way to the front door, checking the peephole before opening it.

You saw Kiyooni on the other side, looking visibly upset. Unlocking the door, you swung it open as the smell of cleaning products wafted, hitting his nose smack in the face.

“What do you want?” You growled as Kiyoomi stood there taking you in. You looked like you had been crying, no doubt because of him and his actions. Your face was flush and your hair a complete disaster. Still, you looked absolutely breathtaking to him.

“Can-can I come in?” He questioned, rubbing the back of his head as you turned and headed towards the living room.

“Take your shoes off at least,” you said as Kiyoomi looked around. Your apartment was immaculately kept, everything clean and in its place. Dare he say, it may have even been cleaner than his own place.

Having slipped his shoes off, he headed to the couch. You had sat in the arm chair, indicating you didn’t want to be close to him. He couldn’t really blame you for that.

“I can to apologize Yn. I’m really sorry for everything I said, for how hard I’ve been on you. Honestly, I don’t have an excuse at this point. I’ve been a complete asshole to you. I’ve set my standards and walls so high that I was sure you’d never reach them and every time you did, it kind of freaked me out. I was scared of losing you like I lost her. I was scared of how much I loved you and how much I came to need you in my life. I know you don’t have to forgive me and I don’t expect you too but I just wanted you to know how sorry I am and how much I really do love you.”

Tears fell as you listened to him speak. You knew he was guarded but this was a whole new level. Tears streamed down your cheeks as your eyes met his, “I love you Kiyoomi and all I’ve ever tried to do was show you that. I know how important volleyball is to you and what happened with your ex but I’m not her. I’m not going to to fall out of love with you because your passionate about volleyball.”

Kiyoomi watched you as tears fell, he knew you were being sincere and that you cared for him. He stood up, walking over to you and kneeling in front of you, “YN, I love you and I’m sorry I hurt you. I’m sorry I said those things and pushed you away. I’m sorry I ever gave you a chance or agreed to come stay with you. I shouldn’t have compared you to her. There is nothing to compare Yn, I love you so so much more than I ever loved her and I hope you can find it in your heart o forgive me.”

You smiled softly as you hand went to rest on his cheek, whiling a stray tear as it flowed down, “I forgive you Kiyoomi and I love you so much.”

Atsumu

Your relationship with Atsumu was an interesting one. When you first met him, you thought he was rather arrogant and annoying, not usually someone you’d date. However the more you got to know him, the more he grew on you, leading to your now 6 month long relationship. Sure it had its ups and downs but you were so in love with the un-toned blonde setter.

Atsumu and you both had extreme personalities, which was a double edged sword in your relationship. You both were extremely passionate and loving towards each other but when you fought, oh boy was it a show.

You didn’t fight a lot, usually only when things got serious or you got annoyed with his normal stupidity. You both had separate lives, somehow managing to cohesively combine them to fit each other.

Both being workaholics, you struggled sometimes to find time for each other. Atsumu was at the gym for long hours and you were at your office for equally as long but you always made weekly dates and kept your relationship fresh.

This week, it was your turn to plan your weekly date. Unfortunately for you, you’d been not only extremely run down at work but your period had just started and you weren’t feeling the best. You decided that it would be ok to keep it low key for one week since you usually always went all out. You’d order take out and watch a movie, it was simple but you knew the point of date was to spend time with your man.

When Sumu came home, he noticed you in your pajama’s chilling on the couch as you smiled at him. He looked at you, confused as to why you weren’t ready to go out. “Uh babe, we have date night tonight remember?” He said, removing his shoes and setting his bag down. He had been busy at the gym, exhausted from all the extra work he had been putting in. He was looking forward to going out, enjoying the town and spending time with his girl.

“I thought we could switch things up once! I was going to order take out and figured we could rent a movie,” you smiled as his face fell. You looked at him as he stared at you, wondering why his expression had all of a sudden turned sour

“Babe we always go out. I was looking forward to not being at home,” he complained as you stood up, walking over to him. You could tell he was growing agitated but maybe if you explained then he’d be ok.

“Sumu, I’m dead tired and my period came today-”

“Ok so take a midol or something! We can still go out Yn. You aren’t the only one on this relationship you know!?” he shouted as you reeled. What the actual fuck?

“Sumu what the hell?!? I planned a nice night in because I don’t feel well and you tell me to just take some pills and get over it?”

“It honestly sounds like you were just being lazy Yn. It’s not like it takes that much effort to make reservations or put a little makeup on. I mean you do it everyday for your coworkers so you should be able to do it for your boyfriend!” He shouted as you began growing angry.

“Well I’m fucking sorry for having a uterus Sumu! Heaven forbid I ever fucking inconvenience you with my bleeding and exhaustion but oh wait, I forgot, I’m not perfect like you!” You screamed back as he glared.

“You know, Layla never bothered me with shit like this Yn, she knew exactly what I wanted and she never argued with me!” He spat as you stared at him, mouth agape.

How fucking dare he bring her up? Layla, his perfect ex girlfriend who was a model and absolutely drop dead gorgeous. He knew bringing up her was a low blow and he didn’t even care.

“Well then, why don’t you go back to Layla then if I’m such an inconvenience,” you murmured, standing your ground.

“Maybe I will!” He shouted, grabbing his gym bag, slipping his shoes on and walking out the front door.

It took a moment, just a minute to sink in before your whole world came crashing down. Your hands flew to your mouth as you began to shake, tears threatening to spill as you quickly turned and headed to the bedroom.

You cried as you grabbed your overnight bag and began throwing clothes in it. You couldn’t believe he had said that. How could he possibly stoop so low. Of all the people, why did it have to be her? Your chest stung as you leave with the bare minimum, throwing your purse over your shoulder and grabbing your keys as you frantically made your way to the front door.

You had to get out of here, you couldn’t stay here. Not in this place, not surrounded by pictures of the two of you and definitely not as the afterburn of her name hit you. The thought of him seeking her out to comfort him chipped away at your heart, you couldn’t stomach the thought of Atsumu being with her again.

You turned, looking around one last time before leaving. The tears fell, gathering on your clothes and shoes. The heartbreak you were feeling immeasurable.

Groaning, Atsumu sat in his car thinking about the fight over and over again. He was pissed, fuming actually but surprising, it wasn’t at you. He only had himself to be angry at. He knew he overreacted, knew you didn’t deserve the shouting match he started.

He sighed, getting out of his car and knocking on his brothers door. Osamu answered, giving his twin a weird look.

“I thought tonight was date night?”

“YN and I had a fight,” he spoke as Osamu rolled his eyes.

“Of course you did,” he responded moving out of the way, “what happened in paradise now?”

“Well it was suppose to be date night and instead of planning a date, she decided it would be ok for us to just have takeout and watch a movie,” Atsumu reiterated as Samu stared at him.

“Ok and what’s wrong with that?”

“I wanted to go out but she said she wasn’t feeling good, her period or something. So I suggested she take midol-”

“Bro you didn’t?” Samu spoke, eyes widening as Atsumu stared at him.

“I mean, I guess it was kind of rude but dude I want to go out, I want to do stuff!”

“Ok but maybe Yn wasn’t feeling good. Date nights aren’t about going out, it’s about spending time together,” Samu replied.

“Yeah I guess so,” Atsumu said, thinking back to the conversation, “fuck I said something else too. Something kind of mean.”

Osamu looked at him as Atsumu raked his hands through his hair, “what did you say?”

“Fuck- I fuck! I compared her to Layla,” Sumu said, collapsing on his brothers couch.

“You compared Yn, sweet Yn, to that cunt? Dude she was such a fucking bitch and she cheated on you! What the fuck is wrong with you?” Osamu shouted as Atsumu sat down, hands going straight to his hair.

“I know I know man! Fuck I was just so upset about not going out and I- I guess I overreacted.”

“You think? God Sumu you are so stupid! YN is literally the best thing that ever happened to you! Do you realize how fucking annoying you are to deal with? How much YN puts up with? Do you remember when you found out Layla was cheating? God you were the literal worst! Sakusa, heck even Meian, couldn’t handle you!” Atsumu’s hands went down to his knees as he contemplated everything he had been through.

Atsumu had been single for almost a year when he had first laid eyes on you. After Layla had cheated, he had stuck to mostly one night stands. While they weren’t in short supply, he missed the connection of having someone to care for and love.

The first time he saw you was at a bar, dressed in a skin tight outfit he couldn’t remove from his mind. His plans for you started out like all his other plans but immediately changed when you flatly turned him down. He’ll never forget the look you gave him and the giggle followed by the words, “not in your lifetime big guy.” Those words, the look you gave him were definitely what first attracted him to you and after chasing you for months, he finally wore you down enough for a date.

He was utterly broken after his ex had left, crushed by the weight of feeling not good enough. He didn’t want that to ever happen again which is why he kept all potential flings at a distance m, never bringing them to his apartment and never bothering to learn their names, but when you came into his life, that all changed. He learned that he could love again and that not all women were like Layla.

Atsumu stood up, walking to Osamu’s door and exiting. He knew exactly what he needed to do. He needed to grovel at your feet, beg for forgiveness and pray that you’d find it in your amazing heart to forgive him.

Arriving at your shared apartment, he ran upstairs grabbing the door handle and pushing it, only it was locked. His eyes widened as he again pushed on the knob. Why was the door locked? Did you not expect him to come home tonight? The words hit him like a ton of bricks.

“Well then maybe you should go back to Layla!”

“Maybe I will!”

“Shit shit!” He whispered as he quickly grabbed his keys and unlocked the door, pushing in as fast as he could. The apartment was dark and quiet, something he wasn’t use to.

“YN!! YN!! Baby where are you?!”

He searched the entire apartment, frantically looking for any sign of you. He stopped, his breathe hitching as his mind wandered to the worst.

“No no! Please tell me she didn’t!?” He yelled, running to the closet in your bedroom and throwing it open. The blood drained from his face and his eyes began to water as he slowly backed up. Your suitcase was gone, some of your clothes also.

Scrambling quickly, he ran to his phone on the counter and quickly found your number. “Come on baby, pick up!” He whispered.

“Hello?” You answered, somber in tone and sounding like you had been crying.

“Baby? Oh thank god! Where are you? I came home and you were gone, I was so worried!” He sighed, feeling a little relieved that you actually answered his call.

“Why don’t you go back to Layla? I’m sure she can console you!” You spat as Atsumu whinced. Ok, he deserved that, he definitely deserved that.

“Baby, listen I just want to talk ok? I know I fucked up and I’m so sorry Yn. I know I overreacted and I know my words don’t makeup for what I said but I love you Yn. You are the one I want, the one who helped me to trust again. Please Yn, baby come home,” Atsumu sobbed as you sighed.

“I’m sorry Sumu but I’m not going to come home tonight or for a while. What you said was so hurtful and low. You didn’t think of anyone but yourself Sumu. I told you I wasn’t feeling well, that I was exhausted and you told me to take some medicine and suck it up! Then on top of that, you threw her fucking name in my face! You don’t know how fucking much that shattered me Sumu,” you cried, sucking in a breath as Atsumu listened. He knew he fucked up but this was by far the worst he’d ever messed up.

“Princess please, I know- I know I’m a fucking asshole and I should have never ever brought her up, I was mad and I let me anger get the better of me. Just please, please can we talk about this?” He pleaded into the phone, tears running down his cheeks.

“I’ll talk to you later Sumu,” you sighed, hanging up as Atsumu collapsed to his knees, his body shaking as he tried to process everything. You were gone, really gone.

The next morning, your phone rang as you sighed, bracing for another phone call from Atsumu. You picked up the phone, looking at the caller id as your brows furrowed.

“Hello?” You said as Osamu’s voice filled the receiver.

“Hey Yn, uh I’m really sorry to bother you but Sakusa just called me, Atsumu didn’t show up for practice today. I can’t leave the restaurant right now or I’d go check on him but I was wondering if you were with him?”

You breathe stopped, your mind functioning of auto pilot as you raced from your hotel room to your car.

“YN is everything ok?” Osamu said sounding more panicked.

“I- I left Samu! I left him alone! Oh god, Samu I was so hurt by what he said! I got a hotel room and he called me last night. He told me how sorry he was and I told him I needed time! Oh my god what if something happened to him!”

You were sobbing as your tires squealed, your foot hitting the floor as you peeled out of the hotel parking lot. The tears rolled down your face as you heart sped up, your brain automatically going to the worst possible scenario.

“YN calm down ok? I’m sure he’s fine! Please don’t do anything irrational right now,” Sumu spoke, trying to calm you.

You couldn’t answer as you speed to your apartment, parking and throwing open the car door. You left Osamu shouting into your phone as you as you quickly raced to the door.

Ramming into your front door, you threw it open and we’re greeted with Atsumu standing there, staring at you.

“YN what the hell? Are you ok?” he said as you through your body into his, bracing as you sobbed into his chest.

“Osamu called me and said that you didn’t show up to practice! I thought about our conversation last night and oh god Sumu!” You cried into his chest as his arms wrapped around you, holding you close and rubbing your back.

“Baby, hey it’s ok. I’m ok? I texted Meian and told him I needed a day off. I just couldn’t get you off my mind and the thought of even trying to push you out just hurt,” he said, hugging you tight as his eyes began to well with tears.

“Baby I’m so so fucking sorry! I can’t believe I was so selfish. I know I don’t deserve you but YN, I love you more than anything. You are it for me, the only thing I ever want.”

You pulled back, eyes softening as you quickly placed a kiss on Atsumu’s lips, “Sumu what you said was mean and hurtful and you are the biggest jerk ever but I love you so much and the thought of losing you well, it crushed me more than anything.”

“I promise Yn, I’ll be better for you,” he smiled, leaning down and taking your lips once again.

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hanaonesflower · 1 year

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Iwaizumi finds himself looking at you, puzzled at the way you shy away from his touch. He doesn’t quite get it. But he doesn’t want to push. Hajime does what he knows how to do best; talks it out. Or he tries really hard to. Ever since he’s been more comfortable around you, his arms often swing behind your shoulders and his hands usually are intertwined with yours but he hasn’t stopped to notice that you don’t openly accept his touches.

“Honey, stop.” His tone far from harsh but it still manages to stop you dead in your tracks. You turn to see him, finding your lover standing a couple feet away from you, his arms unoccupied, flinching with the itch for wanting to hold you.

“Hi? Is something wrong?” Regardless of how it may seem, Hajime is not good with his words. He opens and closes his mouth a couple of times only for hopeless croaks to escape his throat. He looks, sad. So, so sad. His arms are being brought up, holding out as if he is collecting a reward, well in this case the reward would be to hold you longer.

“Can you come here, please?” Oddly enough you don’t protest, you don’t try to question him. Instead you step towards him as if someone has possessed you, Hajime looks relieved, he doesn’t have to fight for it. Even though, we all know that he would. “Can you, can I — can you let me hold you, please?” Oh. Yeah. You think. It still doesn’t occur to you that Hajime caught onto the way you shorten every hug, halt every kiss before it gets too deep, shake your hand away from his grasp. Physical touch makes you feel queasy, and it is oh so unpleasant. The direct linkage of physical touch to sex makes you uncomfortable, feeling like each touch has to be accompanied by sexual intimacy. Why does it have to be like that?

Once the distance between you decreases he quickly pulls you close, wraps his arms around your torso tightly. Afraid of losing you.

“D-don’t pull away just yet, okay?” You stay, without saying a word. Hajime doesn’t say much either, it doesn’t take long for your breathing to sync with one another. It was peaceful, tranquil. His hand instinctively travels lower towards your waist, and just like clockwork, you pull away, resisting the strength of his arms. You should have known by now that Hajime can rage storms with his eyes but shut them down just as fast with the way his arms bring so much peace.

“Why?” He asks. This isn’t a normal look for Hajime, he looks like he is on the brink of tears. And you feel yours begin to pour. He doesn’t deserve this. You don’t get to treat him like this. Poor boy just wants to show you what genuine touch feels like and you refuse to give him a chance. “Why can’t I touch you? Why can’t I hold you?” He feels so bad. Hajime tries to rethink about all the things he might have done that led you to feeling unbearable being held by him.

Resolve crumbling at your feet. Physical touch is his way of expressing his love, it’s always something that has always bring him comfort, stability, it has grounded him in many situations. He wants to feel close to you, but he has never felt so far away. It feels like a part of himself is always missing, hiding within you. This is cruel. This is isolating.

Without saying much you crouch to reach him, arms wrapping his shoulders, snuggling your head in his neck, situating in its rightful place. You two don’t share much words in this moment, not much is needed to be said anyway. The way he’s breaking down, longing so badly for the touch of his beloved, so much it hurts. The way his neurons fire, sending chills down his back and the way his skin heats up at the moment you make contact. You hold him and you don’t let go. You stay until you both are spent from the tears you shed. “I’ll hold you like this forever if I could, Haji, I’m sorry.” You believe that you finally get it now. Physical touch doesn’t have to feel evil, it can feel just like this. His hands find your torso again, timid, but he’s willing to try. he sighs into your touch, so relieved to be reconnected with the part of himself he once relinquished to you.

#as someone who has a lot of trouble giving into physical touch #even tho I’m touch starved #this one is for the girlies that feel the same way as me #haikyu fluff #haikyuu fluff #iwaizumi scenarios #haikyuu iwaizumi #iwaizumi x you #iwaizumi x reader #hq shorts #iwaizumi fluff #Iwaizumi Hajime #haikyuu x reader #haikyu x reader #⌑ 5 LL series ⌑#iwaizumi hajime x you #iwaizumi headcanons #haikyu angst #angst to fluff kinda

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admiringlove · 5 months

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[17:45] . . .

when you look back on the past few weeks and see how your best friend has been acting, it makes you question almost everything you know about him.

sugawara kōshi wasn't a nervous guy—confident, even a bit of a charmer, you’d say. you'd playfully call him a goon because of how he is, but now, he's pulling away, leaving you puzzled. did you unintentionally cross a line during your last conversation? the uncertainty lingers as you wonder if a thoughtless comment pushed him away or if there's a deeper reason behind his sudden distance.

you see him in the hallways, and somehow it feels like there’s a mountain between the two of you. you lock eyes with him when you leave your afterschool club, and he turns away. just what had you done?

your heart ached at the sight. it sure didn't help that you were completely, irrevocably in love with him. if anything, it made things worse. so you decided to play it cool, be just like him. you'd stroll past him in the hallways without a second glance, hoping it would make your heart hurt a little less. intentionally leaving your photography club early, dodging the volleyball team dismissal, so he wouldn't catch a glimpse of your face. maybe it seemed a bit petty, but hey, he started it. you were just honoring his wishes, in your own way.

but one thought pricked your mind. cruelly enough, it never left your head.

what if he'd stumbled upon someone new? you recall seeing him in conversation with a charming girl from the class next to yours, sharing laughs during the break. what if he'd clued in on your feelings for him? was that the reason behind his avoidance too? if that held any truth, it only made a cascade of anxieties in your mind. what if, because of some trivial entanglement, you'd lost your best friend of five years?

the looming dread of losing him wrapped around your heart like a suffocating shadow. it wasn't just the prospect of a fading friendship; it was the fear that an unspoken emotion had inadvertently created a rift between you. the thought of him finding comfort in the company of another, laughing with someone new during recess, sent waves of unease crashing through you. the uncertainty gnawed at your core, leaving you in a state of perpetual restlessness.

and if he had broken your heart into multiple pieces and found someone new, you don't think you would simply stop loving him. it would be slow, and painful. you reckon you wouldn't be able to love someone new for a long, long time. forgetting him would be like a nightmare.

and yet, today remained unaltered. you exited the photography club room, observing as volleyball team members sealed the gym. sighing, you realized you were a little late this time. the first-years, particularly hinata, greeted you from a distance. you responded with a modest smile, delicately waving in return. trouble with suga was the last thing you desired, fearing your thoughts. what if he did found solace in someone else? the notion pierced your heart. deep down, you sensed that daichi, ever the astute observer, would uncover the truth about the unsettling connection between you and the serene setter.

but what you don't expect, is for all of them to walk toward you. you watched in inexplicable horror as the entire group followed the senior years' lead. hinata and kageyama, always fighting and messing around. nishinoya and asahi, talking about something with vigor and calmness at the same time. tanaka, bothering kiyoko with amorous words and her having no response to them whatsoever. yamaguchi and tsukishima, bantering about something with yachi listening in. the rest, talking to each other and watching the chaos of it all unfold.

and sugawara kōshi, in the front, looking right at you with an emotion you couldn't quite put a finger on. your throat went dry when you watched them greet you. you responded with a meek hello in return, deciding to join the group towards home.

your gaze nervously flits between kōshi and daichi up front, leading the group, as you join tsukishima and yamaguchi. the blond shoots you a knowing look with narrowed eyes, seemingly privy to your intentions. he begins to question you, but you widen your eyes in a silent plea.

he only rolls his eyes, "that won't work on me, senpai."

"i hate you," you groan, deadpan expression etched across your face.

he emits a dry chuckle, "let's be honest, i'm your favorite first-year, with an actual functioning brain," then his gaze shifts to hinata and kageyama behind you, throwing them the most disdainful side-eye he can muster, "unlike certain individuals we're acquainted with."

yamaguchi laughs, "that was uncalled for!"

yachi only shakes her head in silent reverie. you furrow your eyebrows at the blond, "you give yourself too much credit. i like yachi the most."

"oh yeah? even though i was the first to figure out you're practically in love with-"

a forceful shove to tsukishima's stomach elicits a resonant groan, catching daichi's attention as he glances back with a raised brow. you shoot him a knowing smile, smoothly carrying on with the conversation. yachi erupts into laughter, while yamaguchi discreetly covers his mouth with a hand.

"if you dare say the next part out loud, i'll make sure you won't set foot on a volleyball court for the next five months," you grit your teeth, a steely resolve in your gaze. the middle-blocker scoffs, "i'll report you to the authorities for battery and assault."

"i won't even let you get to the police station in one piece," you say, smiling innocently. he pouts softly, scoffing.

the remainder of the fifteen-minute walk passes with surprising ease. as tsukishima and yamaguchi bid farewell to the group, the middle-blocker casts you a knowing look, "here's hoping you won't turn into a nervous wreck when it's just the two of you later."

"thanks," you reply sarcastically, releasing an exasperated sigh. he chuckles as he saunters away, leaving the group now comprising only the first-years with tanaka leisurely strolling alongside. you nervously clutch the straps of your backpack, fiddling with them absentmindedly.

observing kiyoko and tanaka diverging from the group at the next turn, daichi follows suit when his home approaches. he graces you with a soft, reassuring smile. it weirdly offers a sense of solace, as though he senses the imminent solitude with suga or perhaps infers your feelings for the setter. regardless, you reciprocate the exchange, bidding your goodbyes.

and after an awkwardly silent five minutes, when your home finally comes around, you stop. he does too, looking at you with an expression you don't quite understand. his eyebrows are ever-so-slightly crunched, his lips beautifully pursed and his eyes look at you with so much longing that it almost physically hurts you to return the gaze.

"i-i, will see you tomorrow then," you say, clenching and unclenching your hand. he nods ruefully, but just as you're about to unlock your front door with your keys, you hear him say, "wait!"

you turn, eyes brimming with anticipation and worry, and you hum softly. he pulls you back to the road, and exasperatedly he says, "i need to talk to you."

"what for?" you ask, furrowing your eyebrows again. he lets out an almost annoyed sigh, "you've been ignoring me. and i don't know why that is, but seriously-"

"what do you mean, i was ignoring you?" you interrupt, almost offended, "you started it!"

"that's different! and besides, how many times have i told you to not interrupt people in the middle of their sentences?" he argues. you fume, pouting as your eyes turn glassy in a mix of emotions. you don't know what you feel. but you knew that there was definitely anger and fear involved.

"shut up!" you say, eyes threatening to spill in a fit of rage, "you were ignoring me and i thought i did something wrong!"

"what do you mean? i thought i said it was something entirely different! you did nothing, stupid!" he argues again. your lip quivers, and a few tears escape in anger, "stop yelling at me! if you just told me that you wanted space, none of this would have happened! it's your fault, idiot!"

his gaze softens, and he walks toward you. you have half the mind to take a step back, but it seems like he can read your thoughts. because he immediately clasps your hand, intertwining his fingers with yours. the touch sends chills down your spine, making you question everything you've ever known. he sighs, so softly that it makes your heart flutter. and he places his hands on your shoulders, looking directly into your eyes as he says, "you did nothing, okay? in fact, i did something. and i felt the need to avoid you because i thought it would help. news flash, looks like it made things worse."

"i thought you hated me," you sniff, eyes red as you look at him, hands still clenched at your sides. he shakes his head, "i could never hate you."

"and then the other day," you continue, voice croaky, "then i saw you with that pretty girl at recess the other day. and i thought you replaced me, and i-i don't know, i just-"

his arms wrap around you tenderly, and he almost shoves your head into his chest. you groan, and he says, "sorry."

"no, um, i just.. i don't know," you say, voice muffled, "i thought you liked her."

"and why does that bother you?" he raises an eyebrow. you narrow your eyes, playfully shoving him, "you know already, don't you? why are you making this so much harder for me, you asshole!"

"oh, i don't know," he smirks softly, "maybe i just want to hear you say it."

"well, i'm not gonna," you cross your arms over your chest, "i hate you."

"i ignored you because i realized you feel the same way as me," he laughs softly, looking away. the wind picks up, and the orange light of the drooping sun almost reflects from him. his eyes look so ethereal as he smiles tiredly at you, and you blink profusely.

you stand there, confused, and he walks up to you, brushing a part of your hair away from your face. you furrow your brows, processing the information. but he only comes closer and closer, until his lips are inches from yours. he smiles softly, "i'm gonna kiss you now. stop me if you'd like, okay?"

"h-huh?"

kōshi's lips fall on yours, he leaned in and your breaths merge in a dance of shared vulnerability. your lips met tentatively, a delicate connection that held the weight of unspoken confessions. it was a kiss born from the depths of unresolved emotions, a fusion of longing and the bittersweet taste of the uncharted.

as your lips lingered in that ephemeral union, a myriad of emotions flooded the space between them—the ache of unrequited desires, the torment of what-ifs, and the sweet agony of a connection finally acknowledged. the emotions you felt were too complicated to explain in words.

"wait, so you don't like kimi from the other class?" you ask, confused when he pulls away. sugawara laughs delicately, shaking his head, "you're so dumb. yes, i don't like someone else. i like you."

"oh," your lips part, holding his face in your palms, "alright."

"stop ignoring me now?" he asks, hopefully. you nod, a slight blush cascading from your cheeks. and he takes a step backward, "i'll see you tomorrow, okay?"

"okay," you smile softly.

#haikyuu x reader #sugawara x reader #sugawara koshi x reader #haikyuu angst #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu imagine #haikyuu hurt comfort #haikyuu!! x reader #haikyu x reader #sugawara angst #sugawara fluff #haikyuu!! angst #haikyuu!! fluff #haikyu angst #haikyu fluff #haikyuu headcanons

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thelittlewriter · 1 year

Text

Late Birthday

Pairing : Sakusa x Reader

Scenario : You come home late from work, without knowing that it was your birthday.

You were tired when you arrived home. It was past midnight. A part of you knew that it wasn’t common for someone to get off work after midnight. You didn’t have a choice, you had a deadline to meet. You hadn’t seen your boyfriend for more than a week. You missed him, but it was always too early when you woke up and too late when got off work.

You missed him, especially today. It seemed like the weekend wasn’t close enough, and it seemed like you wouldn’t be able to see him next weekend either.

You scoffed as you open the door of your apartment. It’s not like you could quit your job to be with your boyfriend. He was busy as well. He was probably asleep because he had to go train early. You turned the light on and just dropped your bag in front of the front door.

“I’ll put it away in the morning,” you said as if someone was watching and judging you.

But you were tired. You walked toward the kitchen to drink a glass of water before getting ready to go to bed. You opened the door and turn the light on. You jumped when you saw a body, sitting at the kitchen table. You recognized his clothes.

“Omi ?” you called your boyfriend.

He raised his head, and his eyes met yours. He was still half asleep, but still, he sat up and walked toward you. Had he been waiting for you in the kitchen this whole time ?

He took you in his arms.

“Happy birthday.”

You looked up at him. You were a bit confused. He had a small laugh.

“Yesterday was your birthday. It’s past midnight already.”

He held you tighter. You looked behind him and saw the cake on the kitchen table.

“I wanted to celebrate your birthday with you, but I guess you were with your friends. Still, it’s a shame I couldn’t wish you a happy birthday on your birthday.”

You closed your eyes. He probably stayed awake late at night just for this and wanted it to be a surprise. But you didn’t make it in time. Worse, you didn’t even notice it was your birthday.

“I’m sorry, I was at work.”

He stepped back a little.

“Work ?”

You nodded.

“Working this late isn’t good.”

He had a serious look on his face. You smiled and kissed him. When you looked at him again, he was pouting. He was clearly avoiding looking at you.

“I liked the idea of you being with your friends better.”

You laughed.

“You don’t have to be jealous. The truth is... I didn’t know it was my birthday.”

He took you by the hand and led you to the cake.

“Did you call ?” you asked. “I turned my phone off in the morning.”

“I didn’t. It was supposed to be a surprise.”

A surprise.

In your apartment.

You gasped. He got inside your apartment while you weren’t there for the first time since you gave him the key. He got inside your apartment during a period when you were busy.

“My apartment is so messy !” you suddenly screamed.

You were ready to run to your bedroom to tidy up a little but Sakusa caught you right before you left.

“I cleaned. You shouldn’t have to do that on your birthday and it wasn’t really messy to begin with.”

You smiled at him.

“It’s ok if you wanna go to sleep now. We can eat the cake tomorrow.”

You nodded. You were about to fall asleep right into his arms. You slowly got ready for bed, already half asleep. You could see your boyfriend keeping an eye on you from a distance.

“Do you have to wake up early tomorrow ?”

You sighed just thinking about it. The day after, on a Saturday, you were supposed to go to the office to finalize the project during a small meeting. A part of you hated the idea of waking up early again. What you hated more was that you wouldn’t spend as much time with your boyfriend.

When you finished getting ready to get to sleep, he was already in your bedroom.

“You know,” he said as you entered the room. “I always wondered where some of my clothes went. But they were all here.”

You laughed. You loved being home wearing his clothes. It felt as if he was hugging you all day. But you were fine wearing your own clothes tonight. After all, you had the real deal right here. You got into the bed and lay down.

“I’m sorry I was late today.”

“It’s fine, you were at work.”

You took his hand. It felt soft and intimate, in the dark.

“But you planned something.”

You have no idea, he thought.

He wanted to take you to a nice restaurant before eating the cake. He hadn’t planned anything big, as it was the first time you would celebrate your birthday since you started dating, and he knew you would most likely be tired. But it was alright. Just seeing you and being with you was enough.

“Just a cake,” he lied. “We can always celebrate it tomorrow when you get back.”

You didn’t answer. He heard your small breathing. You were already asleep.

“Happy birthday, Y/N.”

Hey ! I hope you liked it and that you had a good day ! I just wrote this randomly, there's no real story behind it but still, I hope it was good enough...

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oomisluvr · 1 year

Text

DO YOU THINK OF ME? (IN THE WAY I THINK OF YOU)

SYNOPSIS: falling in love after falling out of it. he’s still your kiyoomi after all this time.

WARNINGS: ex-boyfriend!sakusa, lame!sakusa, awkward!sakusa, light swearing, references to sex but nothing super graphic, a little sad ngl but the ending is happy (or is it??), 4k words, MINORS, YOU KNOW THE DRILL

You’re not sure what started the break-up. The beginning of the end. You only know that it’s been eight months since you’ve last seen your ex, and the sight of him now feels like looking at a ghost.

Kiyoomi was obsessed with perfection. Still is, probably. Constantly drove himself to the brink just to achieve it, then wore his suffering as if it were a prize. It was all part of his look, the illusion of being put-together.

In a lot of ways, he treated your relationship like that. Part of an illusion; a specific look. Like you were an accessory to his image. Yet another thing for people to covet about his life.

You, however, are not perfect. No one is. Hell, no relationship is perfect. You know that. Everybody knows that.

Kiyoomi hated it. Some days it felt like he hated you.

Life felt so good when all you did was dress up for galas and fall into bed with one another. When all you had to do was look pretty and smile for the media.

It made it easy to avoid your problems, until it wasn’t. Until so much resentment built up that you wanted to hit him with a car. Kiyoomi preferred to avoid your problems, while you faced the situation head on. He loved you, sure, but it felt like he always had one foot out the door. Ready to run when things inevitably went up in flames.

It exhausted you – trying to reach a person who didn’t want to be touched. You wanted more, and Kiyoomi was scared of what you might see if you got too close. Did you ever really know him? Maybe it was easier to cut things off. Maybe you could have worked it out.

The last few months of your relationship had been a blur. Fuzzy memories that feel so distant you can’t tell if you made them up or not. You can recall his general fear towards life, despite how hard he tried to overcome it. You remember how… tired he was. All the time. About everything. Including you.

How do you help someone who doesn't want to be helped? You can't. You can only love them, but Kiyoomi didn't let you do that either.

Months later, you still don’t know what happened. Who pushed who away?

You blink, remembering where you are.

He’s with his friend now, the rowdy one with the bleached hair. He gives you a once-over and visibly recoils, clapping your ex on the back with a mumble you can’t hear. You haven’t moved. Neither of you have. What is there to say?

He’s still got that same piercing stare, studying you like one of his opponents from the court. Your heart thrums, remembering the nights he used to look at you like you were the only woman in the world. The memory burns, but you can’t seem to look away.

He looks good, but he always looks good so that’s not really saying much. It’s the smaller details in his appearance that give him away. The dark circles under his eyes are more noticeable, now a deeper shade of purple in contrast to his sickly-pale skin. His face is a little slimmer too, clothes that are usually well-fitted are now draping loosely over his frame. It’s a small enough difference that any other person in his life probably wouldn’t notice.

But you aren’t any other person, are you?

He’s hurting. Bad. The irony makes your gut wrench, fills your bones with lead then tells you to take a dive off a pier. You ignore the voice in your head that whispers that you caused this; you did this to him. You broke him.

“Hey,” he clears his throat, clearly rattled by your presence, “It’s… been a while. You look well. Nice to see you.”

“Yeah, uh, you too.” you chuckle, mindlessly scratching an itch on your elbow just to give your hands something to do, “How have you been?”

“The usual, y’know,” He’s strikingly good at evading even the most direct questions. “You look like you’ve been doing well.”

“You…” You suppress a grin, poking fun to make light of the situation, “Already said that.”

“Right, sorry.” Your sentiments fly right over his head. Kiyoomi looks… distressed to say the least. This is painful to watch. From your peripheral, you see his friend gag.

“I was actually wondering if we could catch up.” He forces the words out, the words clumsy when they leave his mouth, “Maybe do dinner or something. Catch a movie whenever. Bowling? Only if you want to, though. Whatever’s best for you.” The words are clipped and short, trying much too hard to be casual.

“I don’t know if that’s a good idea,” You mumble, because it’s true. It’s 100% not a good idea to spend time alone with your ex-boyfriend. That damn itch on your elbow is back again, “New job has been hounding me all hours of the day.”

“Uh, yeah, sorry,” He looks crushed, the light in his eyes from initially seeing you now gone entirely. “I didn’t mean to make you… uncomfortable or anything. I just–yeah, sorry. Congrats on the new job, though. I told you that you could do it.”

You nod in agreement at his praise. You remember the night he told you those exact words, after comforting you over a bad day at your previous job. You remember how he took it upon himself to make your resume, sending it out to every employer in the city. It was invasive and honestly a little weird, but that’s just how he shows his love.

Overprotective. Overbearing. It used to be so sweet before it felt suffocating. Like flowers that were nice in the vase on the windowsill. Until their pollen started closing your throat. Like a swim in the ocean on a Summer afternoon. Fun, until you're miles out from shore with no way home, saltwater clouding your vision and burning your lungs.

You feel the waves wash over you. You clear your throat, like you can feel some pollen, too.

“Actually,” you can’t stop the words from coming, you’ve lost sight of the shore already, “I think I have some time Thursday night. Maybe we could do something together then.”

“Yeah, sure.” He amends, eyes brightening slightly, “That works. I’ll, uh, text you?”

“I got a new number recently,” You don’t know why you lie to him, “You can just DM me on Instagram. If we decide to do something.”

(You didn’t get a new number, but iMessage feels too personal. Social media feels like the perfect amount of distance.)

“For sure. I’ll text you. So we can do something.”

“Sounds good,” you offer a tight-lipped smile, “See you around, Sakusa.”

You can see something die in him when he hears his surname on your tongue. You used to call him Kiyoomi. Ki. Omi. Kiyo. Baby, but only sometimes. You used to call him sweetheart, when you really wanted something. Fuck, you used to call him yours. He blinks wildly, like you just struck him across the face. He stumbles a bit when he comes back to reality, rushing to get the door for you and holding it open, “See you around.”

He watches you the whole way, still standing at the door as you drive off, his figure disappearing in the rearview mirror.

He texts you immediately.

@s.kiyoomi [7:47PM]: It was great to see you again. Are we still down for Thursday??

You suppose that’s why it’s so easy to fall into bed with him, the familiarity of it all. Your body remembers his touches, had missed it. You writhe and moan and claw at his back before you’re both reaching your peaks, honey-slow and all-encompassing. It echoes to the furthest corners of your body and you feel it everywhere. He kisses your forehead after you both come down, even mumbles a breathless thank you against the skin there. It’s good, the familiarity. Good, good, good.

He leaves after that, when you don’t ask him to stay. He takes the hint. Good.

He comes back a few days later, though. Somehow he forgot his gloves. You guys fuck then, too. It’s good.

The next time he comes back to your apartment, it’s you who calls him. Not good.

You hadn’t meant to lurk. To make a burner account to follow all the Jackals for signs of Kiyoomi. You hadn’t meant to tap on Atsumu’s Instagram story. Hadn’t meant to keep tapping through it.

It’s a group picture with Atsumu and three other people including Kiyoomi. The one with the orange hair has a makeshift crown scribbled over his head, with a tag to his account and a sweet happy birthday message. The one with the gray hair is there, too, captured mid-sentence with a Heinekin in his hand. You had met him a few times. You remember he was sweet. Loud, but sweet. You smile at the photo, studying all the faces. Kiyoomi looks especially good, a small smirk on his face as he stares at the camera. Everyone is dressed handsomely. Good for them.

The next story is taken with the flash on, a short video of a packed club, sweaty bodies pressed on each other as they bump and grind to the music. There’s a figure that looks an awful lot like Sakusa, occupying a dark corner and talking to a smaller, thinner figure. Good for him. If that even is him. Good, good, good.

It’s the next story that has something ugly swelling in the pit of your stomach. It's a bigger group picture, with maybe 15 people. Everybody looks a little gone, probably wasted from so many complimentary shots and discounted birthday beers, so nobody is paying much attention to the camera, their minds elsewhere. Including Sakusa. Well, that, and the fact that he’s got an arm around that same girl from the previous story, captured mid-laugh as they whisper about whatever the hell they’re whispering about.

It shouldn't bother you. It does. It has you sifting through your contacts to find his number.

“Hello, Kiyoomi?” It’s loud when he picks up the phone, wherever he is at this point in the night.

“Hey,” He sounds concerned and a little surprised, the commotion in the background slowly drowning out until you hear a door slam and it’s silent. The audio quality changes to staticky echoes. He must be in a bathroom, “Sorry, it was a little loud back there. Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” You don’t know where this surge of embarrassment came from. Or why you’re reacting this way. “I was just calling if you wanted to watch the new season of You with me tonight. If you’re busy, don’t worry about it, I just thought—“

“Yes,” It sounds like a prayer, like something worthy of celebration, “Of course I do. I’m just a few blocks away. I could be there in fifteen minutes. Eight, if I run.”

“Oh,” Part of you knew he would react like this, that he’d come running to your every beck and call. Part of you knows it's why you even called in the first place. You don’t know what that says about your character. You don’t care to know. “You don't have to rush over, we could always–”

There’s a banging on his side of the line, with a muffled demand to hurry the hell up, “Sorry,” he apologizes, though you aren’t sure to who, “I’ll head right over.”

The call ends.

You bite your cheek in anticipation, watching Atsumu’s instagram story again and again.

He comes running, breathless as he pounds on your door.

Eight minutes pass. Have you been watching his story all this time?

“Hey,” You greet him warmly, opening the door to fully let him in, “You look nice.”

“Thank you,” he tries not to let the compliment get to his head, but he’s already dizzy from seeing you, “It was Hinata's birthday yesterday, so we all went out to celebrate with him for the weekend.”

“I saw,” you comment, “Atsumu is very active on social media.”

“I took some pictures, come look.”

It’s alarming how casual the two of you are, laughing on your sofa like old friends.You never gave it much thought, but there’s bits of him strewn around your apartment. His old highschool sweatshirt he never picked up. Throw blankets he brought over one night and never got back. There's a faded popcorn stain on the couch from when the two of you would binge movies together, the blemish etched into the fabric like a memory.

The grin he’s wearing tonight mimics the one from months ago, when you were choosing between centerpieces for a wedding reception. Your ribs ache.

“I thought the nightlife wasn’t really your thing?” You tease, a little bit of truth behind your words. You used to fight about this, too. Why couldn’t he be one of those “normal” boyfriends that go out with their partners? Couldn’t he do this one thing for you? Your fights were so petty – throwing tantrums just to get the other person’s attention. In hindsight, the issue hardly feels like an issue at all.

“It wasn’t. Still isn’t, if I’m being honest.” His eyes find yours like he wants you to hear this. He’s different, somehow. He’s trying. “But I'm, uh, learning to try new things. Getting outside of my comfort zone and all that. It’s been fun, for the most part.”

As he swipes through his camera roll, you see that girl again. She’s terribly pretty, soft cheeks and even softer lips. Big, doe eyes and high cheekbones; something in you withers, then rots and dies.

“This is a good photo,” You can’t help the smile on your face at the sight of Kiyoomi and the blonde, throwing up the signature Jackals paw and grinning drunkenly at the camera. You tell the truth despite the words burning on your tongue, “She seems really sweet.”

“She is,” He confirms, oblivious as ever, “Talks a lot, but she means well.”

“You two look good together.” Somehow it hurts more to say aloud. Makes it real, somehow. “You guys seem really close.”

“Yaichi? I mean, yeah, she’s a friend from college. She’s new to the team and I’m the only one she really knows. She tends to follow me around since we’ve known each other the longest.”

You hum, as he continues swiping. The thick atmosphere feels all too familiar to Kiyoomi, and suddenly he’s rushing forward with an explanation.

“She’s just,” nervousness bubbles out of him, “Our team manager, or something. She’s been shadowing that guy you think has weird hair.”

“Kuroo?” you laugh, remembering. You’re glad the conversation has shifted. “I never said he had weird hair!”

“You definitely did. On several occasions, actually.” He prods, “It’s alright – everyone thinks he has weird hair.”

Kuroo always looked out for you. Got you free tickets, never made you pay for merch, let Kiyoomi sneak you into the beautiful foreign countries they played in – that sort of thing.

You feel your grin fade. That connection was severed after the breakup, “How is he, by the way?”

There’s a lot to catch up on – characters in Kiyoomi’s life that you are no longer a part of. It’s a bittersweet feeling, but you’re glad everyone is doing well even if you aren’t around to see it. The conversation spans late into the night, branching off on wild tangents about nothing in particular. You’re almost sad when you feel yourself getting sleepy. You don’t want it to end.

You truly have missed him. His company. His friendship. He’s still you’re Kiyoomi after all this time.

“Sorry for keeping you up,” He apologizes after seeing a yawn slip past your lips, checking his watch with a chuckle. It’s black. Sleek. Probably a Rolex. Very Sakusa, “I should head home and let you get to bed.”

“Okay,” You rub your eyes, too tired to protest, “Let me walk to the door.”

Kiyoomi is silent as he helps you clean up the space, folding your throw blankets and fluffing the decor pillows. He lets you get his coat for him.

“Goodnight, Y/N.” His keys are loud as they dangle in his hand. He lingers in your doorway.

“Goodnight, Kiyo.” You sigh.

Neither of you move. Time seems to slow. It still ticks by too fast. You open your mouth to speak, but he beats you to it.

“I, uh, really missed this.” He swallows, “I really missed you.”

“Yeah,” You’re tired of fighting. Physically, mentally. You want him, still. He’s still your Kiyoomi, after everything, despite everything, “Me too.”

He chuckles, “You called me and I just. Ran over.”

“Yeah,” You find the energy to smirk at that, “Why did you do that?”

“Because you asked me to.” he breathes, and you read between the lines. I’d do anything you asked me to.

You’re suddenly flustered at his proximity, looming in your doorway like a ghost. You almost can’t believe he’s here. Ditched his teammates – his friends – to come spend time with you. Ran several blocks at midnight because you wanted to see him. You, his ex-girlfriend. You, who broke his heart. He must be some kind of a masochist.

(He must be in love. The thought scares you, so you stop thinking it).

“Can I–?” His voice raptures you from your thoughts, his sharp gaze flicking between your lips and your eyes. You can feel it radiating off him – the longing. He wants this just as bad as you do.

“Yeah.” You breathe, reaching up to kiss him.

The kiss is gentle. Unsure. It’s more like two lips pushed together than an actual kiss, but the sentiment is still there. He kisses you like it’s the first time, like it might be the last. You don’t want it to end. It does.

There’s so many raw emotions, so much hurt shared between the two of you. Looking in his eyes, you don’t allow yourself to think, to feel, before you’re pulling him in by his collar and slamming your lips against his for the second time. He reacts instantly, deepening the kiss with a and a supportive hand to the back of your head. He walks you backwards and lies you back on the couch like you’re made of glass, and fucks you like he means it. Like it really might be the last time, because neither of you know what the hell you’re doing. He goes slower. Deeper. Savors it just a little longer. Makes your toes curl and your voice twist up in pretty cries of his name. You shower together after. He sleeps beside you.

(It’s been months since he slept in your bed. You ignore how it’s the best sleep you’ve gotten in a long while.)

You wake up the next morning to empty sheets.

It doesn’t surprise you. It does hurt though, but you aren't sure why. You distance yourself from the feeling entirely. You start a load of laundry instead.

Twenty minutes pass and there’s a commotion at your front door, the sound of crumpled paper bags and the soft jingle of keys alerting you of another presence.

“Oh, you’re awake.” He shyly smiles, bags in hand, “I wanted to have something ready for you before you woke up. I took your keys, if that’s alright. Hungry?”

You hum sleepily, a faint smile on your lips, “I could eat.”

“Perfect,” he mumbles under his breath, rushing to your small dining table to lay out his goods, “I wasn’t sure what to get, so I kind of got everything.”

It’s french bread from the bakery down the street, and a few pastries because Kiyoomi has a sweet tooth. There’s still steam rising from them – they must’ve just been made. There’s fresh cheese from the deli, too, and whatever fruits he could find. You grab one of the tangerines and start peeling.

Kiyoomi’s occupied himself with making the two of you coffee. You watch as he navigates himself through your kitchen in a domestic rhythm. He’s probably spent more time in it than you have.

He hums quietly to himself as he puts just the right combination of creamer and sugar in your mug, swirling the contents softly as he makes his way over to your small dining table.

You take the mug from his hands and take a sip. It’s perfect because of course it is.

“Good?” He asks, but the tilt of his head tells you he knows the answer. You roll your eyes. He offers a satisfied grin in return. “Muscle memory.”

The two of you dig in, eating quietly in each other’s presence.

“I thought you left.” You surprise yourself at your forwardness.

He stops chewing, politely wiping his mouth with a napkin before answering, “Why would I ever do that?” You blink.

“You used to be so rigid. Afraid, maybe? I don’t know.” You shrug, not really knowing what your own words mean, “But it’s nice to see you like this. You seem lighter. Happier. More comfortable with yourself.”

“Yeah. I, uh,” he averts his gaze, suddenly entertained with the buttery flakes of his croissant, “I realized some things after our break-up. You were right. About everything, really. I didn’t allow myself to be vulnerable with you. All you wanted was to love me, and I refused to let you in. You didn’t deserve that.“

“You didn’t deserve that either–” his honesty blindsides you, “–To feel like you couldn’t be vulnerable. I know I didn’t create the safest environment for communication. I caused a lot of petty fights just to get a reaction out of you. I should have been more honest with how I was feeling.”

“Is that…” He swallows, looking pained, “Is that why you pushed me away?”

“I…pushed you away?” You frown, heart breaking from hearing his side of things, “I wasn’t trying to push you anywhere. I missed you, is all. I just wanted us to get back to where we were.”

He smiles solemnly, eyes empty, “I’m sorry, Y/N. Truely, I am.”

You nod your head softly, “I’m sorry, too.”

Silence fills the air, but there’s nothing awkward about it. It’s light. Forgiving. With all cards on the table, there’s nothing to hide. The two of you continue eating. Breakfast nearly finished, you take another clementine, peeling away the tough rind and chewing softly. “Do you, uh,” he scratches the back of his neck, “Do you think we can try again? Try us again?”

You hum, peeling off another segment.

You offer him a slice, hand outstretched.

get this out of my sight

#sakusa #kiyoomi #sakusa kiyoomi #kiyoomi sakusa #msby #msby sakusa #msby sakusa kiyoomu #haikyu #haikyu x reader #haikyuu #haikyuu fluff #haikyu angst #sakusa x reader #sakusa kiyoomi x reader

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mchlgayser · 1 year

Text

✮ us against the problem ft akaashi keiji

synopsis: Being in a three-year-old relationship with your boyfriend is never a hard task considering how collected, composed, and matured he can be.

─── ୨୧ warning: slight angst, and miscommunication

─── ୨୧ notes: I got my heart broken once again, by a different guy 💔 this pain is unbearable and to stabilize my mental, I'm doing a drabble of the loml akaashi. Question: where to find an Akaashi Keiji? Comment your ideas! ... And feedback, thank you, and happy reading xoxo.

It was supposed to be a date, a date both you and Akaashi planned. A date to reconnect you both after weeks away from each other. It wasn't a problem for Akaashi since he's rarely going out for work but works at home instead but it was the otherwise for you, you are a flight attendant, always traveling and not home but today you supposed to be back after almost two weeks staying in London, England but a scene broke off that you had delayed your way home two days after. To make matter worse, you accidentally lost your phone at the airport during your work hours.

You've had to try calling him a few times but he wasn't picking up. After the problem was solved you didn't waste a single minute but to get home fast. You need to see your boyfriend. He might be getting worried about your whereabouts and well-being. The next wink, you entered the apartment, you could almost sense the clouded-over surroundings, the curtains is not pushed or tucked away like usual. It was dimmed. You put aside the luggage and stroll to your bedroom. The bathroom is running, so you assumed that he was bathing. You sit on the bed hitting yourself with a strong minty cologne of his. That sweet, peppermint smell hints at a tinge of his lavender-flavored shampoo.

As soon as the faucet closed, you stood up straight like you are in the military. The bathroom door slid open and his sight came into view. His half-bare and damp sight with a clean towel top his disheveled hair. He stops on his tracks, eyes moving from your feet to your face. You croak a nervous smile his way but he stood there, not saying anything.

You try to put on your acts, trying not to be so obvious by the fact that you are overwhelmed by his presence after nearly a month of not seeing each other.

'I missed you.' You said, eyes moving around the room watching him rummage through the closet to put on his shirt and short pant 'Yeah, me too.' He throws aside the towel on the bed and moves outside leaving you in utter disbelief. You try to maintain your cool despite the anger and heat building up in you. You stare at the spot he was at earlier, and pick up the towel he tossed away to go and shower, yourself.

You've had to compose your emotion, after bathing you strut your way to his on the couch 'Why are you like this? Are you fine?' You put the back of your palm to his forehead and he lets you be before he momentarily yanks his face 'I was worried, sick. I wonder where could've you been? Why haven't you answered my calls, and why you ditched me on that date? I was... Worried.' You try to reason with yourself but he cuts you off 'Do you know I was worried! And...! That date, was supposed to be our date, the one you promise to be at to spend our time together. You know, these days, it's fewer attempts from you to reconnect us again...' A hitch breath stuck on your throat, it's tight and suffocating. One more word coming from him, you are sure you'll break down in guilt.

Tears began to form in your eyes, you tilt your head back to dry the tear off and wipe the access 'I... I'm sorry... Something happened that day, when I was supposed to get back and my phone... I lost it, I try calling you a few times using co-worker's phone but you didn't pick up... I'm sorry... I'm sorry Keiji, I'm sorry that it seems like I haven't done enough these past weeks, I'm so, so sorry... I will do better-' He immediately brings an arm around you, his palm on your torso to pull you closer. The tears you fight back so greatly earlier fell like endless rain. You clutch on his shirt as you sobs from guilt and fatigue.

Once you calmed down, Akaashi push you away just a few inches to get a closer look at your face, your eyes swollen and tear-stained, your nose red and almost runny. You sniffle and groan at the same time, your nose clogged from crying and you try to unblock it with a harsh stroke of your nose. He took your balling fists, gripping them and bringing them closer to his cheek, his thumbs caressing the back of your palms and occasionally left kisses on your hand.

'My fault. I didn't hear your side of the story at first but can't help by feeling upset. That was so unlike me. I guarantee you, it'll never happen again. Sorry, Y/n.' You jump on him, hands on his neck burying your face in between his shoulder and collarbone.

'We are both at fault but partially mine if you think about it, and it's okay to show your unusual self to me. I fell in love with you who are you, not only the perfect, mature, and composed Keiji.' He fondled your back leaving featherlight kisses on your neck and down your shoulder.

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sleepyxxhead · 10 months

Note

Could u do Haikyuu setters getting mad at their s/o because they missed their game because they were busy? Thank u 💕

A/n: I’m so bad at writing angst but why is this such a good ideafjdkla;jfdskl TY FOR THE REQ!! I’ll do a pt. 2 with more setters/characters if you guys req.! Please req. more characters for me to do <3

Genres: angst | comfort

Characters: Kageyama Tobio | Kenma Kozume | Akaashi Keiji | Oikawa Toru

Kageyama Tobio - Please don’t leave me!

wc: 321

You were sitting at your desk, getting some work done as you heard the door close. “Tobio?” You call out.

No response.

You found him sitting on your shared bed looking angry. “How’d you do, darling?” you ask tenderly.

“We won,” he mumbled with a scowl on his face.

“You don’t look like you’re too happy about it. What happened?” you sat down next to him on the bed.

He looked at you with a hurt expression on his face. “Why didn’t you come..?”

Your eyes immediately widened in shock. Guilt poured over you. “Tobio-”

“That was a really important game to me,” he whispered, voice trembling.

“I’m so sorry, I was busy with work-”

“You’re always busy with work!” he shouted out, tears welling up in his eyes. “You’re never there!”

“Tobio…” you whisper, tears of guilt and shame streaming down your cheeks.

Kageyama stood up, and walked out of the room. “Tobio..? Where are you going?”

“Tobio?” You ran after him, desperation rising in your chest. How could lose this? How would you live without him?

“TOBIO!” You cried out, bowing down on your knees.

Hearing the absolute anguish and distress in your voice, Kageyama turned around.

“Please don’t break up with me! I’m so so sorry! I’ll never miss a game of yours again! I love you with my whole heart so please don’t leave me!” You sobbed with misery, feeling the end drawing close.

Kageyama took a step towards you and kneeled down. The sound of misery and desperation in your voice hurt his heart too much to leave you. He tapped you on the head with his finger.

Looking up, you saw a broken version of Kageyama. His expression was calm, but his eyes full of hurt, his face wet from tears.

He stared into your eyes for just a second and pulled you into the tightest hug you had ever received.

“I love you too.”

Kenma Kozume - I forgive you

wc: 251

Kenma: we won. omw to your house

Y/n: congrats! ily <3

Read at 8:23 p.m.

Kenma unlocked your front door with the spare key you gave him. After greeting your mom, he headed to your room.

“Kenma! Congrats!” you wrapped him up in a bear hug. “Kenma?” You tilted your head to the side, confused as to why Kenma looked so disappointed.

“What’s wrong, Ken?” you asked him.

“Nothing,” he whispered, looking at his feet.

“Kenma. Was it me?”

He turned his head towards you slowly, meeting your eyes. “I guess I’m just… mad at you.”

Your eyes widened. “I’m so sorry, what did I do?”

“It’s more like what you didn’t do…” he trailed off. “I wish you would’ve come to my game.”

He looked away from you, tears in his eyes. It wasn’t apparent, but Kenma actually cared about volleyball. He cared about a lot of things other than video games. He searched through the crowd to find you, hoping that you could find time to come, but he realized that you weren’t going to show up.

“Kenma…” you watched as he wept silently. “I’m so so sorry.”

“It’s okay.”

“No. It’s not!” you yelled, fighting back tears. “I wasn’t there for you when it really mattered!” You wrapped him up into a hug, holding on tight. You couldn’t lose him. “I’m so sorry. Please forgive me; I’ll come to all of your games from now on!”

“Y/n…” Kenma mumbled through tears. “I forgive you.”

Akaashi Keiji - Paradise

wc: 435

“Akaashi?” You looked up from your laptop, hearing the door open. You’re eyebrows creased when you saw the angry expression on his face. “Is everything alright, darling? I thought you won.”

“We did win,” Akaashi mumbled bitterly. “You would’ve known that if you came, though.”

He tore off his coat and shook off his shoes before heading to your shared room. “Akaashi?” You followed him to your room, seeing him pacing back and forth.

“I’m sorry I was busy-”

“You’re always busy! You’re never there! You’ve come to one of my games in the two years that we’ve dated each other! This is something I care about! HOW COULD YOU NOT CARE!?” He shouted at you as tears fell down his face.

You stood in the doorway in shock, tears welling up in your eyes. You couldn’t bare to see the one you loved so much with so much pain and hurt in his eyes, but yet again, you were the one who had caused it.

You stood in silence as you watched him storm off and down the stairs. Suddenly, a thought appeared in your mind. I’m about to lose him.

Instantaneously, your feet started moving. Tears rolled down your cheeks as you yelled after Akaashi. “Please don’t leave! Let me fix this! Akaashi I love you!”

The front door slammed shut. It’s over. You’re paradise is leaving you.

You crumpled up into a ball, sobbing, mumbling to yourself, “Please don’t leave. I love you. I love you. I love you…”

Akaashi went on a walk. He needed to clear his mind. He was so angry at you, but the way you looked so broken when he left made him feel so guilty. Suddenly, a thought appeared in his head.

That’s it. She’s going to leave you.

His eyes widened at the sudden thought. Almost as fast as the thought came to him, he turned around and started sprinted towards home.

He opened the door, breathing heavily, to find you curled up into a ball on the ground, sleeping. He noticed that your eyes were puffy and your face was wet. Seeing you like that made him feel absolutely terrible.

He dried your face with his thumbs and scooped you up into his arms. He carried you to your bedroom and tucked you in. After he took a shower, he laid in bed next to you.

“I’m sorry Y/n. I didn’t mean to hurt you so badly. Please forgive me…” he said, voice shaking.

Your sleeping body wrapped your arms around Akaashi and pulled him closer. “I’m sorry,” you whispered into his chest.

Oikawa Toru - Addicted

wc: 223

“Y/n, how could you miss that game! How could you miss so many games! You’re always too busy! Why can’t you just show up for once!” Oikawa shouted at you.

“I-I’m sorry Toru.” Your voice shook as you saw tears racing down his face.

He looked at you, the agony in his eyes stinging you.

“I’m sorry! You’re right! I’m never there when I should be! But please…” you trailed off, hot tears staining your face. “Don’t leave me. Please forgive me! I’ll show up to every ga-”

“I forgive you…” He looked to the side. “How could I not… When I love you so much? I love you so much it hurts. I get butterflies every time I see you! My stomach does flips when I hear your name! Y/n, your love is like a drug and I’m addicted. I love you, I love you, I LOVE YOU!”

You stood in front of him, eyes wide with shock.

“I’ll always forgive you Y/n. No matter what you do, I’ll always love you too much. No matter how painful, I’ll forgive you! No matter how-”

You wrapped your arms around Oikawa’s torso, holding him so tight you thought you might break his ribs.

“I forgive you, Y/n,” he whispered, holding you close. “I love you too much not to.”

A/n: OMG WHY IS ANGST SO HARD TO WRITE? My heart hurts. I hope yours does too. That’s how I’ll know I did my job 🫡. Have a nice day cutie <33

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maddieg0531 · 5 months

Text

Hugs and Kisses

Oikawa x fem!reader

Hurt/Comfort, Angst

Warnings: Creepy guy, unwanted advances, self blame, reaction that indicates past trauma, uncomfy situations

Synopsis: A guy consistently bothers you and when he pushes a little to hard, you don't know what to do with yourself.

Headcanon: Oikawa is a big physical touch person and LOVES hugs

A/N: I'm back from the dead. A few things about this story. First, writers block is real, so if this sucks, my bad. I just needed to get words on a paper (screen ?). Second, ⚠️ this story may be uncomfortable or triggering for certain audiences ⚠️ You have been warned, read at your own risk. Y/N's reaction indicates potential past trauma, so no she isn't just being dumb or dramatic. It's a real response that real people have. Anywaaaaaaaaay, I hope you enjoy! I'm working on some other things (slowly), so stay tuned!

Masterlist

Dating Oikawa is weird. You and Oikawa started dating about a month ago. You have never been a popular kid. You had your friend group and you did your things just like everyone else. You figured dating him would draw a little bit of attention but not this much. As you walk down the hallway — the same hallway you have walked for two years — people stare at you. You focus your eyes on the floor and try to ignore them. You make your way to Oikawa’s locker, but your lack of attention causes you to run into someone.

“Oh I’m sorry.” You look up to see the captain of the baseball team looming over you, his muscular body way too close to you.

“It’s always a pleasure seeing you.” He winks at you with a smirk.

“Uh…” Something about his voices makes you shrink into yourself. You are about to walk away when you feel arms wrap around you. An involuntary squeak escapes your mouth.

“Gooooood morning beautiful!” A familiar voice calls as he spins you in a circle.

You turn to look at him, “Tooru! You scared me.”

“Sorry that I want to see my wonderful girlfriend.” He says placing a kiss on your forehead. His eyes drift past you to see the large captain behind you, “Oh, hey Hiroto. Sorry, did I interrupt or?”

“No. Not at all.” You quickly reply.

“Yeah, just saying hi.” Hiroto says with a begrudging tone. He passes by you, brushing your shoulder and hitting Oikawa’s.

“Man I just don’t understand him.” Oikawa says, shaking his head.

“Doesn’t matter.” You hug Oikawa, his warm embrace and sweet smell relaxing you. You let out a soft sigh, “I have to go to class.”

“But I just got here.” Oikawa pouts.

“Maybe you shouldn’t be late.” You press a kiss on his cheek, “I’ll come to practice this afternoon, okay?”

“Okay.” You laugh at Oikawa’s pouty face. He really is just a big puppy.

Grabbing the last of your stuff, you close your locker and turn to go to the gym. Standing right behind your locker door is the same guy from earlier, Hiroto.

You jump back, “Oh, uh…sorry. I didn’t see you there.” You swing your bag over your shoulder and go to walk around him, but he steps in front of you.

“Hey, if you aren’t busy, you should come to watch baseball practice.” His scratchy voice makes your brain itch.

“Yeah, uh sorry but I’m going to the gym to watch Tooru practice, so uh…maybe another time.” As you walk away, you scratch your head, trying to get off the weird feeling he gives you.

“Yeah, another time.” He calls after you.

You walk into the gym and Oikawa immediately runs and hugs you. His warm embrace immediately takes away the weird feeling from before.

“Hey, love.” He mumbles into your shoulder.

Before you can respond, you hear Iwaizumi yell, “Loserkawa, get over here and warm up!”

Oikawa looks up and pouts. You can’t help giggling at his silly reaction, “You should go warm up.”

“But I wanna hug you.” He whines.

“I appreciate that, but you are supposed to be practicing,” You give him a peck on the cheek, “I will cheer for you on the side.”

“Okay.” Oikawa sulks back over to his team to warm up. You are dating a child.

You watch Oikawa practice and every time he hits a serve he winks at you. You are trying to study, but your book just sits open, while you neglect it to watch your boyfriend show off.

Coach blows the whistle to mark the end of practice. He calls the boys over for a huddle while you pack up your unfinished homework. Oikawa runs up to you for a hug but you stick your hand out preventing him

“What??” He pouts.

“You’re sweaty. There is no way you are hugging me like that. I’ll go wait outside.” You tease. You walk outside into the cold air, a light breeze blowing pass. You shiver, wishing you had brought a jacket. Maybe you should have taken the hug, at least it would be warm.

“Hey”

You jump and turn around to see Hiroto…again. “Oh uh, hey.”

“You need a jacket?” He asks, offering his, which is also sweaty from practice.

“Um I’m good.”

“Oh, well, do you want me to walk you home. It’s kinda late.” He takes a step uncomfortably close.

You back up against the door of the gym, “I’m actually walking home with Oikawa, but uh, thanks..” You try not to sound to uncomfortable. He just stands there staring at you and you aren’t sure what to do. “Um…I’m gonna go…” You open the gym door and quickly walk back inside.

You speed walk over to Oikawa and tightly hug his arm.

“Hey, I thought you were waiting outside?” He looks over at you with slight concern.

“I got cold…” You lie, not wanting to make a big deal out of it.

“Does this mean you will hug me now?” Before you respond, he engulfs you in his sweaty arms, squeezing you tight.

“Tooru! You’re so gross!” You say that, but you really don’t mind. He makes you feel safe and warm. So for all the teasing, you still welcome the hugs.

You have had weird run ins with Hiroto for a week now. You never knew him before and now he’s everywhere. He makes you uncomfortable, but you don’t tell anyone because you don’t want to assume anything about him. It is probably just you being overly judgmental. Every time you see him, he gets more and more familiar with you. He will stand closer to you, be more forward. He has asked to walk you home several times now and you are running out of excuses.

Normally you have Oikawa as an excuse to get out of conversations, but he is really busy with preparing for his upcoming tournament. You manage to go the whole school day without running into him. Just when you think you will make it the whole day, you run into Hiroto outside the gym. (You were bringing Oikawa dinner since he would be practicing late).

“Hey, how are you?” He asks.

“I’m fine.” You respond quickly.

“What are you doing?”

“Uh, I was just giving Oikawa dinner, since he will be here late.”

“So you are staying here late into the night. That’s kind of rude of him to make you stay.” He suddenly sounds judgmental. You don’t know how to feel about it.

“No, uh he didn’t make me stay. I’m going home because I want to, not that I don’t want to stay. I would stay but I need to do homework and…” You are cut off by him laughing at you. “What’s so funny?”

“Nothing. You don’t have to be so defensive.” He lowers his voice and leans in closer, “although it is kind of cute to see you flustered.”

You feel your stomach flip at the statement, “Well, uh, I have to go now.” You slide past him and start speed walking away.

Hiroto, with his oddly long legs, catches up easily with you, “I’ll walk you home.”

“No, you don’t need to do that.” You say shakily, not making eye contact.

“Yeah I do. You can’t walk home alone. I don’t know why Oikawa would let you walk home alone. If I had a girlfriend as pretty as you, I wouldn’t let her out of my sight.”

You freeze outside the school gates, debating whether or not you’re going to stay for Oikawa’s practice. Should you go and get him? No, you can’t bother him. He is already stressed out about this tournament. You can’t be a burden.

“Um yeah, okay. I’ll see you later.” You stare at him, waiting for him to leave.

He stares back at you, “Well, lead the way.” You just look at him awkwardly, hoping he will take the hint. “Uh, earth to Y/N. Lead the way home.” He waves his hand way to close to your face.

“Why?” Is all you can think of to say.

“I can’t walk you home if you don’t walk home.”

“You don’t need to walk me home.”

“Yeah I do.”

“No you don’t.”

“You aren’t walking home alone. You let Oikawa do it, so why can’t I?”

“Because Oikawa is my boyfriend and you aren’t.”

“Clearly he isn’t a very good one.” He takes a step forward, backing you into the pillar of the school gate, “What do you see in him anyway. He is arrogant and self focused. All he cares about is volleyball.”

“That’s not true!” You pipe out, increasingly scared of his presence.

“Really? Then why isn’t he here to walk you home? Why do you always have to stay late for his practice.” He puts his hand on the brick pillar behind you and leans uncomfortably close to your face. You freeze, “We all know I would be a better boyfriend than him. I can tell you like me, so just forget about him.”

You are scared stiff, his face inches from yours. You want to push him away, scream, run, something, but you can’t move. It’s like you are paralyzed. Suddenly, he closes the gap and smashes his lips against yours. You let out a muffled scream, eyes wide and filling with tears. He pulls away with a nasty grin on his face. You stare blankly past him, unsure of what just happened.

“Since you won’t let me walk you home, I’ll leave you with that.” He winks at you and pats you on the head before walking away.

When he is out of sight you crumble to the ground and break down crying. What just happened?

You walk back to your house in tears, confused, uncomfortable, and guilty. How could you have not done anything? Why didn’t you push him away or stop him? When you get home, you immediately take a shower. You scrub yourself, trying to wash away the remnants of him. You sit in the shower drowning in tears, scrubbing so hard that you leave a rash. You end up crying yourself to sleep.

You wake up the next day, drowsy and confused. You hope it was all a dream, until you look at your arm where you left the rash. You almost start breaking down crying again, but you manage to pull yourself together. You are supposed to meet Oikawa today for coffee to study for an upcoming test. How are you supposed to face him? You let another guy kiss you and you have the audacity to casually get coffee. Your phone buzzes on your bedside table, Oikawas name flashing across the screen. You pick up and Oikawa’s smooth voice chimes through the phone, “Hey love, are you alright?” You freeze. How did he know? “We were supposed to meet for coffee at 10 right?”

You look at the time and it’s 10:15, “Oh crap.”

“It’s okay. I was just texting you and you didn’t respond, so I wanted to make sure you were awake.” You can hear his lovely smile through the phone, his comforting presence washing over you.

“I’m sorry. I just woke up. I’m on my way.” Your voice sounds hoarse and like someone who has been crying all night.

“Okay, no rush. I’ll be waiting. Love you.”

“Love you, bye.”

You jump out of bed and rush to get ready. You throw your hair up, put on some random pair of clothes, and grab an apple before running out the door. Luckily the coffee shop is in walking distance from your house, so you make it there pretty quick. You walk in the door, out of breath and see Oikawa sitting at a table in the corner. His face lights up at the sight of you. You walk over and set your backpack down with a thud.

“Morning love,” He pulls you into a big hug, “You didn’t have to run. You look like you just ran a marathon.” He laughs as you press your face against his chest. The vibration from his laugh is comforting enough to put you to sleep.

You pull back and sit down, “I’m sorry. I woke up late and I didn’t even realize. I forgot to set an alarm last night.”

Oikawa cuts you off by squeezing your hand, “Hey, it’s okay. It happens sometimes.”

You give him a half smile, still worn out from everything. He lifts his hand to cup your face, you instinctively lean into his touch. When you look at him, his face is scrunched up in concern, “Are you okay?”

“What?” You internally start freaking out. And maybe a little externally too.

“Your eyes are all puffy and you look worn down. You aren’t smiling like you usually do and your voice is quiet and hoarse, which usually means something is wrong. What happened?”

You are touched that he knows all of these things, but you feel the guilt pound away in your chest. You can’t tell him. It would crush him. But you should. But you can’t. “What, no. I’m fine.” You lie.

Oikawa is not convinced, “Hmm, okay. You don’t want to talk about it. I’ll wait until you want to.”

He is so good to you and you are so bad for him. You might just break down and cry at his gentle manner, but you don’t. He slides over a coffee cup while you take out your books, “I got your regular.” He smiles.

“Thanks, you didn’t have to.” You blush at his kindness.

“Sure I did.”

You spend a couple hours studying for your test. With each tick of the big hand, your heart drops further into guilt. There isn’t much conversation save for talking about the test. You don’t make eye contact the whole time. Oikawa’s voice was soft and his touch was gentle. He knows something is wrong but doesn’t want to pry. Once you feel relatively well prepared for the test, you immediately get up to leave. Oikawa stands with you. He opens his arms for a hug, letting you decide if you want to take it or not. You gently lean into his arms, so desperately wanting to spill your soul to him, but you can’t bring yourself to do it. So you opt to linger in his arms for a small moment

He gently pulls you close, kissing the top of your head. He whispers with the utmost care, “Whenever you want to talk, let me know. I’ll be right here.” You stand silent. “It can be 3am or two days from now. I don’t care when, but please call me, text me, talk to me. Don’t suffer through it alone.”

You nod as you reluctantly pull away from his grasp. You turn on your heel and rush out before he see’s you cry. Oikawa dejectedly watches you walk away, having already noticed the tears forming in your eyes. He can only hope that you will come and talk to him later.

You practically run back to your house, tears flooding down your face. You feel so guilty. You know it’s not your fault, but it kind of is. You didn’t push Hiroto away. You just stood there and let him kiss you. You never said no, you never rejected him. You brought this on yourself and therefore only have yourself to blame. For hours you sit in your room sobbing, overwhelmed, disgusted, and unsure of what to do. You are practically drowning in your tears when you finally can’t take it anymore. You have to do something, tell someone. You have to tell Oikawa. He will be mad and probably leave you, but it is better to rip the bandaid off than let the wound fester. Your hands are shaking as you pick up your phone to text Oikawa. You can’t bring yourself to call him.

Y/N: Can you come over?

To’ ❤️: Of course 🥰 I’ll be right over

Your eyes eventually dried, probably because you are dehydrated. You get up off your bed, the old springs squeaking as you lift your weight off of it. As you walk pass the mirror, you catch a glimpse of yourself. Your hair looks like a rats nest and there are tear stains on your cheeks. You look like a raccoon who had a really bad day. However, you don’t have the energy to do anything about it. You go downstairs and pour yourself a glass of water. Lord knows you need it. You open your fridge, hoping to find food, even though you haven’t gone to the store all week. Your stomach screams at you for only having eaten an apple today and then exerting enough energy equivalent to running a marathon. The lack of food in your fridge is almost enough to make you start crying again. As if you needed more help, you hear a soft knock on your door. You drag yourself over not wanting to open it, knowing what awaits you on the other side. Your hands shake as you reach for the door knob. You suck in a large breath and fling the door open. As you see your tall, beautiful, loving boyfriend standing there, you can’t help breaking down sobbing again. All the guilt and confusion and pain comes flooding back into you. Maybe if you didn’t drink that water you wouldn’t have started crying again. Your knees give out under the weight of your sorrow. Oikawa swiftly catches you, immediately pulling you into his arms. His heart snaps in half at the sight of you so broken.

“Hey shhh, it’s okay. I’m here now.” He whispers, tenderly lifting you off the ground. He closes the door with his foot and walks you over to the couch. Your sobs resound through the room, each one more broken than the next. Oikawa gently cups your face, “Do you want to talk about it?”

You shake your head, unable to choke out words through the tears.

“Do you want to sit here and cry?” He asks kindly.

You grab his shirt, holding on so tight your fists are white. You manage to force out some words, “N-no…I…I-I’m…sor-sorry!”

Oikawa’s face contorts in confusion, “Don’t be sorry. You can sit here and cry and I will comfort you for as long as you want.” You fervently shake your head. Oikawa does his best to decipher your gestures, “No? Do you want to talk?”

You shake your head, trying to force out words. In your effort, you start hyperventilating, everything becoming so overwhelming.

“Shhh, deep breathe in.” Oikawa breaths in, gesturing for you to follow. You manage a broken breath. “Breathe out…Breathe in…Breathe out.”

You and Oikawa do this for a few minutes (more like Oikawa does it and you try between sniffles). Once your breath has evened out, your sobs become more controllable.

“There you go,” It’s not fair that Oikawa’s voice alone can calm you down. “Now what were you trying to say?”

“I…I—“

“Deep breaths, you’ve got it.”

“I…I’m sorry.”

“You have nothing to be sorry about.” “N-no…you…you aren’t g-getting it.” Oikawa looks at you confused. “I—I….” You start hyperventilating again.

“Shhh, deep breaths. One word at a time. You?”

“I-I…I cheated on you! I’m so sorry!!! I didn’t mean to! I didn’t want to! It just happened and I don’t know how and I don’t know why I didn’t do anything. He just was there and I froze and-and—“

You have lost all control at this point. You are sobbing, rambling on and on. Your face is buried in his chest, tears drenching his shirt. He’s holding you so gently while you are gripping his shirt so hard. You are shaking and feel like you might throw up. Your head is spinning and you are confused. It’s so much that you can’t process it all. “I’m sorry! I’m so sorry! You’re so good to me and I’m so terrible for you! I don’t know why you picked me. I’m sorry. I know you probably hate me and want to leave me but please…please!…Please don’t leave.” Your voice trails off, drowned under your tears. You need him so bad. You want to look in his eyes, hear his soft voice, be held in his arms, but you can barely hold yourself up. Oikawa is probably going to leave you. He is going to drop you and walk out. You need him to say something, do something. Even if it is yelling, even if he is breaking up with you, you need to hear his voice. Suddenly, Oikawa pulls you in his lap and hugs you softly against his chest. You freeze. That’s not what you thought he was going to do. Is this his goodbye? Is this it? “I-I…” You try to say something but you just can’t.

“Shhhh, it’s okay.” His voice is so warm and comforting. You can feel his heartbeat through his chest as his scent envelopes you. “I don’t know what happened, but you are not in a good headspace to talk about it clearly. So let’s just breathe.” He takes a deep breath, you following suit. “And let’s just sit and calm down for a moment, okay?”

As he hugs you close to him, you can feel your heartbeat start to match his. Your broken sobs slowly turn into small sniffles. You sit in his arms for you don’t even know how long. Nothing was said, nothing was done. You just breathed together and existed together. You felt the exhaustion of everything hit you like a truck. You curl up small in his arms and feel yourself start to nod off into a much needed sleep.

You wake up on your couch, eyes puffy, your thoughts muddled. It’s dark outside even though it was just midday. What time is it? What happened? You were with Oikawa. You shoot upright. Did he leave you? You look around frantically. You have to apologize…you…you—

“Hey, calm down. I’m right here.” He comes around the couch from the kitchen. You feel the tension in your shoulders release at the sight of him. He sits next to you and you almost instinctively lean your head on his shoulder. But you remember, “I was…we were…talking? Crying? I was apologizing! I—“

Before you can get all lost in your thoughts, he cuts you off, “Calm down, it’s okay. You were upset and we sat and calmed down. You ended up falling asleep because you used so much energy crying. It’s been a few hours. I noticed you had no food, so I ordered some. Do you want to eat? Or do you want to talk?”

“I want to talk. I need to talk. WE need to talk.” Your eyes are wide, like a deer in headlights.

“Okay, then let’s talk. Slowly and calmly. One sentence at a time.” He settles you down a bit, knowing your tendency to ramble. “What happened.”

“I’m sorry. I cheated on you and I feel like a horrible person because you are so good to me and I just ruined it.” You can’t bear to look him in the eye.

“What happened? How did you cheat on me?” He asks with a hint of quizzical disbelief.

“Well he wouldn’t leave me alone and I tried to say no but he kept insisting and then he just, he just kept getting closer and I didn’t know what to do and then I was backed up against the pillar and then he leaned in and he-he kissed me.” You feel yourself shudder at the memory, that disgusting feeling creeping up again.

Oikawa tries to desperately hold himself together, waiting to hear the full story before going and punching a man, “Hold on. Who is ‘he’?”

“Hiroto, that guy from the baseball team.”

“And he kissed you?”

“Yes, but I didn’t do anything to stop him. I just froze when I should have shoved him or—“

“Love, this is not your fault.” His voice is light and compassionate, “He approached you, yes?”

“Yes but—“

“No ‘buts’. Just a simple yes or no. Can you do that for me love? I just want to get everything clear.”

You nod with a quiet ‘yes’.

“You did not want him to approach you?”

“No.”

“You asked him to go away and to leave you alone.”

“Well, not in those exact words, but yeah. I should have been more clear…” You stop yourself before Oikawa does.

“You in some form or fashion attempted to express that you did not want him near you, correct?”

You nod.

“However, he ignored said attempt and then cornered you and forced you to kiss him?” Oikawa’s jaw clenches tighter and tighter with each question.

“Yes…but I should have moved.” “But you couldn’t”

“I didn’t”

“You said you froze, right?”

“Yes.”

“That is a totally normal and valid response to fear. You were backed into a corner and someone—much larger than you might I add—was looming over you. He was in your personal space and violated you. He ignored your signs, ignored your fear, and HE chose to hurt you.” Anger starts seeping out of Oikawa, steam practically fuming from his ears.

“You’re angry. I’m sorry. You have every right to be mad.” You start to shrink into yourself again, tears threatening to come back out.

Oikawa realizes his mistake and immediately softens up again, “No, no. I’m mad yes, but not at you. I’m mad at him for being such a terrible person and for hurting my princess.” He pulls in his lap again, your back to his chest. He wraps his arms around you like a warm blanket, “You did nothing wrong. None of this was your fault. You are the victim here, okay? You have every right to feel hurt or upset or whatever you need to feel. You are not a horrible person. You did not cheat on me by any means. I’m not mad at you. Please don’t be mad at yourself. I love you so much and you are so wonderful and amazing and I’m so sorry you had to go through this. I’m so sorry that I wasn’t there to protect you.”

You spin around to look at him, “Don’t blame yourself, please. You didn’t know. I didn’t tell you anything. I thought he would go away, but he just kept bothering me, day after day-“

“Wait, how long has this been going on?”

“…well you remember at the beginning of the week when we randomly ran into him in the hallway?”

“Vaguely”

“Well, after that I kept running into him and he kept saying weird things and asked me to come watch his practice or if he could walk me home. I always used your practice or you walking me home as an excuse but you were so busy with practice yesterday that I couldn’t stay. And then I ran into him outside and he kept following me, insisting on walking me home and then…yeah.” You look at Oikawa, his face slowly burning red with rage.

“So he has been bothering you for a week now?”

“Yeah, but I didn’t want to say anything because I thought I was being dramatic or looking too much into it…but I guess not…are you mad that I didn’t tell you?”

Oikawa’s face softens again, “No, not at all. I’m sorry that you felt like you couldn’t tell me. You aren’t being dramatic. What he did was genuinely wrong and you are allowed to be uncomfortable or upset by it. Please if anything, anything, big or small, makes you uncomfortable or scared or upset or anything, please tell me. I want to know. I want to help you.”

You place your hand on his cheek, a soft smile poking at the corner of your mouth for the first time all day, “Thank you. That means so much.” You lean your forehead on his, “I love you so much.”

“I love you too.” He closes the gap between you, gently pressing his lips against yours, afraid of making you uncomfortable.

You melt at his touch. Just one kiss from him and all your fears and worries fall away. You wrap your arms around his neck as his arms hold you tighter around the waist. You could live in this moment forever. You break apart but keep your head leaned on his. You two just sit and bask in each other for a moment before Oikawa pulls you in for a hug. You relax into him, letting his presence melt away the ice of the past 24 hours. He gently strokes your hair, “I hope you know I’m gonna kick his ass.”

“Don’t get kicked out of school, or worse, get kicked off the volleyball team.”

He laughs at your comment, the vibration running through you, “It would be worth it for you.”

You sit up, looking at him with a smirk, “Are you saying you like me more than volleyball?”

“I can play volleyball any time with anyone. There is only one Y/N in this world,” He presses a quick kiss on your lips, “And she’s all mine.”

You blush at his flirting, “You love me. You want to kiss me. You want to hug me.”

“Mhm, so what if I do?” He smirks.

“Hmmm, I’ll allow it, but only if you bring me some food. I have only eaten and apple today and I’m starving.” Your stomach growls and you both can’t help laughing at the timing.

“Okay, anything for you, Love.” He gets up and brings over the ordered food, “But for real, we are filing a report against him.”

“No, I don’t want to make a big fuss.”

“It’s either that or I beat him to a pulp. Your choice.” He says, taking a bite of his food

“Lets do the report.” You lean your head against his shoulder, “But you would totally win.”

“You think so?” He says smirking with a mouth full of food.

“Oh yeah. Baseball has nothing on your serves.”

“Got that right,” He throws his arm around you and kisses the top of your head.

How did you get so lucky to find someone like him?

Epilogue

“Did you hear? Hiroto got expelled.”

“Yeah, I saw him leaving school today.”

“What happened?”

“I don’t know but he always made me uncomfortable.”

You hear the murmurs from your schoolmates as you walk down the hall with Oikawa, who is standing awfully tall today. “Someone looks happy.” You nudge him.

“Of course. I’m with you aren’t I.” He smirks down at you.

“Mhm, I’m sure that’s why. At least you didn’t beat him up.”

“Of course not.” He says with a sly voice.

More random voices chime around you, “Bro I saw Hiroto leaving school this morning.”

“Dude, I heard he got expelled.”

“Must have gotten in a fight” “You think?”

“Totally. He had a nasty black eye.”

You smack Oikawa on the arm, “To’ you said you wouldn’t beat him up!”

“I didn’t!” He holds his hands up in defense, “One punch doesn’t count as beating him up.” You walk away, pretending to ignore him. “Y/N wait! Come on, don’t leave me like that. He deserved it!.”

You can’t help laughing at his little pouty voice.

“I’ll make it up to you. I’ll buy you coffee.” He spins you around, giving you the biggest puppy dog eyes he can muster.

“Hmmm, a coffee and ice cream.”

“Done.” He grabs your hand happily and continues walking with you.

“Did it hurt? Did he cry?” You mutter.

“Oh yeah, big time baby.” Oikawa laughs.

You are a terrible person for laughing, but you have a pass this time around.

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bakugokemkatsuki · 5 months

Text

Right Where You Left Me

Atsumu Miya x Reader

**Genre: Angst **Part two Part 2.5 (Atsumu’s Aftermath) **Based on Right Where You Left Me by Taylor Swift **Key: Y/N = Your Name Taking Atsumu, You **Word Count: 553

Atsumu was the dream boy of Inarizaki. Just about every girl seemed to have a crush on him. So how you ended up here by his side was something you couldn’t believe. You didn’t fawn or throw yourself at him like most of the girls at your school but that didn’t mean you didn’t find him attractive. Falling for him wasn’t hard. With his witty jokes and handsome smile. The way he did small things like brought you lunch he would force his brother to make or study with you when he knew you had a test even if he didn’t care about studying. This is how it was for over two years. You were the one he chose out of everyone, and he made you feel on top of the world until he didn’t. After graduation Atsumu went off to play professional volleyball, which prevented you from seeing him often. That’s when it happened, he was back in town, and you were very excited to meet up. You hadn’t seen him in months. You were meeting him at his brother’s restaurant. You arrived early and talked with Osamu a bit. Atsumu walked in, in a nice suit. You ran over to him and excitedly hugged him; he hugged back and you two quickly got to ordering. After dinner you two sat in the mostly empty restaurant, that’s when it happened. Looking at you with a sad face Atsumu spoke; “Y/N… I need to tell you something. I need to be honest.” The air felt like it was stilling, and you could tell whatever was coming next was bad. “I’m so sorry. I met someone else.” Silence filled the restaurant. You swore you could hear a hairpin drop it was so quiet. “…What…” “Y/N I’m so sorry… It just happened. I promise I didn’t cheat. I invited you here tonight so we could have one last nice night together, and so I could tell you the news in person. I think we should end things. Long distance just isn’t working. I’m sorry.” Again silence. Finally, you spoke after what felt like hours. “Okay.” That was all you could manage to say. Atsumu got up and apologized again, came over kissed the top of your head one last time and then left. Gone. Out of your life forever. You just sat there staring at the spot Atsumu had been not that long ago. You ended up sitting there for hours. Osamu didn’t bother you or kick you out because he knew that you were hurting. He left you to stay there where his brother left you to process everything.

-Timeskip-

It had been almost a year since Atsumu had dumped you. He and his new girl had gone public and apparently were expecting a baby.He had moved on and you were still stuck at the restaurant. You went back every day and sat in the spot every day hoping one day he would come back. Hoping one day he would walk through the door and realize he really wanted you. You were stuck frozen in that night. You were stuck in this dilution that he would come back when he was out living his life with his new girl. He was happy and moved on and you stayed there, right where he left you.

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sugamii · 1 year

Text

⤷ voicemail

⭒ gn!reader x tsukishima kei

⭒ summary: tsukishima has been avoiding you for months now and you don't think you can keep trying with him | wc. 1.4k

⭒ warnings: angsty? | notes: mostly between yamaguchi and tsukishima as tsukki's ignoring you,, a little ooc but it's not too bad-

Tsukishima's known you for quite some time and you would say that he's adjusted pretty well. You had already been friends with Yamaguchi when you met Tsukki at Karasuno - you’re almost 100% sure he paved the way for you. Though, you can't give Tadashi all the credit. You clawed your way to the top with that man and no one can take that from you. Becoming friends with him was like climbing a mountain with no gear. Difficult, infuriating, terrifying - but definitely possible if you stuck to it!

Despite his attitude and the rough ride to friendship, you're glad you spent so much time chasing him. It was easy to see the kindness through all of his sarcasm, he never went too far with his insults and he made sure no one was actually hurt. You got used to it, and he slowly adjusted to your needs too. He had even started using new insults on you to avoid calling you stupid - he saw how discouraged you got when he would say those things and he really did want you to like him. He's taken to pointing out how short you are in comparison to him, but it's objectively much better than being called stupid.

The point is, he had accepted that you were part of his life. Or you thought he had anyways.

You had been trying to reach Tsukishima for a while now, hoping he would eventually break and admit that he missed you. Clearly you weren't getting anywhere, but you couldn't just give up.

You put the phone on the table next to you as you called him again, you couldn't stand having the phone against your ear anymore, listening to the same message over and over again had started to wear on you. You wished he would answer so you could hear him say something else. Even a goodbye would be okay.

The ringing stopped and you held your breath, waiting to hear his voice. Only to be disappointed as you listened to his voicemail again, his voice repeating the same lines they had an hour ago. You don't usually mind hearing Tsukishima’s voice, but hearing him repeat the fact that he was busy made you sick. You knew he wasn't.

Unable to reach him, you decided that the next best thing would be calling Tadashi. Surely he wouldn't ignore his best friend. Fortunately, Tadashi picked up the phone after a few rings. At least one of them had manners.

“Hello?”

“Hey Tadashi, have you-”

“Is this who I think it is? I haven't heard from you in months.” You laughed softly at his sulky tone, although you couldn't really make fun of him. When Kei had started avoiding you, you thought he just needed space. And with him and Yamaguchi being connected at the hip, it was hard to make time for your other friend. The space didn't work as he had barely noticed your absence and you couldn't really get that time back.

“Listen, about that,” you started, pausing to collect your thoughts. You didn't need to see Tadashi to know that he was anxious about whatever you were about to say. On the other side of the call, he could hear your heavy sigh, “Does he hate me, ‘dashi?”

“Who?”

“Tsukki! He hasn't been answering my calls. I haven’t talked to him in months.” Your voice cracked as your throat started to burn, tears building in your eyes. The worst part was you didn't really know if you were being dramatic or not. He was your best friend and he was refusing to speak to you. “I'm starting to think he doesn't want me around anymore.”

“Hate is a strong word. It's Tsukki. He doesn't communicate well.”

You took a deep breath in hopes of soothing your throat, “I know.”

“Have you gone to see him? You know how he throws himself into work, maybe he’s been busy.” You thought about what Yamaguchi was saying, what would happen if you went to his apartment. The last time you had visited Tsukishima he had completely shut you out. He really would hate you if you kept trying so hard.

“Or maybe I could go. He needs more Tadashi time anyways.” Tadashi suggested, pulling you out of your thoughts. You agreed, thanking him. You have no idea what you would do without him sometimes.

After the two of you had finished talking, Yamaguchi made his way to the apartment. He knocked once or twice to let Tsukki know he was there before walking into his friend's home. The blonde looked up from his phone in surprise only to give his guest a sour look when he realized who it was.

“Sure, make yourself at home,” he muttered under his breath.

“Kei,” Yamaguchi kept his voice monotone as he stared at the other. Tsukishima rolled his eyes and adjusted his position on the couch. “Remember that one person we used to hang out with? You know, the one we’ve been friends with since Karasuno. The one you're ignoring right now.”

Tsukishima knew why Yamaguchi was upset. He knew that he was hurting you by pushing you away, but he didn't really see what the big deal was. You would get over this eventually. No one understood that Tsukishima was the one in pain, that he was cutting contact so both of you could be happier. This was the best way to protect himself, it was quick and clean. In theory. It had seemed like such a good idea a few weeks ago.

It broke his heart to watch your name pop up on his screen, he had to remove your picture a while ago to avoid feeling too much guilt. Honestly, he was surprised he had made it so long. But Tadashi knew, or he had to at least be somewhat aware. “You know why I'm doing this. I can't have any distractions, we’re adults now. I can't throw my life away for someone from high school.”

“You know damn well that they're not just ‘someone from high school.’ And who asked you to throw your life away for them? You're friends with me and it doesn't ruin your life. Why are they any different?” If this had been under different circumstances, Tadashi might've giggled about that. He knew the difference, but he needed Tsukishima to realize what he was throwing away.

Closing his eyes and removing his glasses, Tsukishima sighed in exhaustion, “You're not seeing my side of this. You're acting like I'm doing this because I'm a dick, but I have my reasons.”

“Most people think you're a dick, Kei. This has nothing to do with my opinion of you,” Tadashi offered, making his best friend glare at him. He shrugged it off. It's not like he was lying. Tsukishima wasn't answering any of his questions, and he had always been a bit of a dick.

“There's no point. They hate me, that’s what I wanted.” He felt less guilty pretending you thought he was being an asshole for no reason. At least you wouldn't have to cling to the what ifs.

“That’s just sad, man. You're not gonna try?” Tadashi was shocked by his friend's resignation, it didn't seem like Tsukki at all. “You're worse than I thought. After all this time, I still don't know you.”

Tsukishima could feel the regret building in his stomach as he spoke, “I can't go back now! I can't apologize, it won't change anything. This is the best possible outcome.”

“You didn't even try,” Tadashi’s voice was soft, even from across the room. He had never seen his best friend so defeated, looking down at his phone and seeing it light up with another call from you.

“At least think about what I'm saying, about what they've been saying.” With that, he walked back through the door. This time Kei really did need space. He needed to think about what he was doing. Now that he was alone, he reached down to look at the most recent missed call, deciding he needed to listen to you this time.

“Hey Tsukki, or um, Tsukishima. Tadashi said he was gonna come talk to you today. I know you're busy and you don't wanna hear from me, I just needed to make sure you were okay before I said goodbye. I don't know what went wrong with us, but I want you to know that I'll always care for you. I'll stop calling, I won't come around, no more texts or indirect check-ins. I'm done.” Kei froze as he heard your voice coming through the phone, he had never heard you sound so drained. He finally understood just how wrong he had been. How could he have let you go through all of this alone? “I love you, Tsukishima Kei. Take care of yourself.”

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restlesswritingss · 1 year

Text

No warnings, just light angst with a happy ending.

Kita x reader

Kita liked you, a lot. You were sweet, funny, and so so pretty. But he was also pragmatic. He knew he shouldn’t start a relationship with you. He was about to graduate high school and you had another year to go. Kita was always meticulous and did what he thought would be best. However, that went out the window when it came to you.

It wasn’t best for him to fall over himself when he saw you. It wasn’t best for him to blush anytime one of his teammates even said your name. It wasn’t best for him to think about you while doing any and every task. He was getting sloppy, distracted, and lenient.

He wasn’t pushing his players as much as he should’ve. His gaze would linger to you in the library rather than staying on his books. During cleaning, his mind would drift to thoughts of you, making him miss spots he would never have missed before. The worst was him leaving practice as soon as he could because if he stayed, like he should to keep his team in line, he would miss walking home with you.

Of course, Aran was the first to notice the change in his friend. The rest of the team could tell something may be up but Aran saw the complete shift in Kita’s behavior. No one knew the reason though.

No one knew Kita was falling in love with you. He was texting you nonstop, going so far as to even check his phone during class in case you had sent him something. He was hanging out with you any moment he could outside of school. No one knew, because Kita didn’t want them to know because he didn’t want to do be doing any of it. He wasn’t in control of himself with you. He was desperate with you.

But no one knew until one day after practice. It was cold and windy, everyone bundling up to keep from getting sick. Everyone except Kita.

“Kita, where is your coat?” Aran was the first to ask, everyone else surrounding them to hear why their perfect captain was missing a vital article of clothing.

Kita felt like a cornered animal, you had his coat. Last night you two went on a late night walk and you’d shivered so of course he draped his track suit zip up over your shoulders. Kita couldn’t find it in himself to fully regret his mistake in not taking it back when he thought of how you’d beamed at him for letting you wear something of his.

“I left it at home,” Kita said curtly. He turned to walk towards the door to ignore the Miya twins’ looks.

They were all loving this. Kita making a mistake? Suna’s phone was already out recording the whole thing. The team had waited their entire lives to see this.

Unfortunately for Kita, things were going to get worse today. Normally Kita loved how thoughtful of others you were, but today he cursed it as he saw you waiting outside the boys’ gym for him with his coat in hand. He did not want the other boys to see you. None of them were supposed to know about Kita’s girlfriend because he wasn’t supposed to have a girlfriend. Were you his girlfriend? Did you want to be?

You smiled as you saw him come out of the doors. Kita forgot his predicament for a moment as his heart stuttered at your reaction to him.

Kita couldn’t blame you for revealing yourself to his teammates because he’d never told you he didn’t want them to know about you, but you were good at reading situations. Your eyes widened as you saw the other boys tumble out of the gym after Kita and gawk at you. Kita blanched at them seeing you, alerting you to the fact that he didn’t want this meetup to happen. You knew he was private with his team but you didn’t think they had no idea about you. He talked about them constantly to you so it hadn’t felt stupid to assume he’d talked to them about you.

Kita hated the way sorry came out of your mouth the moment he got to you. He also hated the embarrassment written over your face.

“I just figured you’d need your coat, well uh here it is, sorry for bothering you at practice,” You said too quickly.

You shoved his coat into his hands, trying to ignore the comments and questions being yelled by his teammates. As you turned to go, Kita grabbed your arm. He was more concerned about your feelings than his teammate’s opinion of him. Another way you turned his world upside down.

“Wait, no. It’s no bother at all. Thank you for your returning it. I’m sorry about my teammates,” Kita wanted to reassure you more than anything right now.

“It’s ok Kita. I just didn’t know they had no idea about us.”

“I just didn’t want them to bother us,” the excuse was lame but it was the first thing he could think of. Kita never just blurted the first thing that came to mind but talking to you always made his mind go blank.

You looked up at him, doubt in your eyes. Kita felt awful. He didn’t want you to think he was ashamed of being with you. Well, he was, but not because of you. Never because of you. It was him and how off-kilter he was with you.

“Sorry to embarrass you in front of your team,” You bowed to him, something you never did with him, and turned to leave quickly.

There was hurt in your voice and something clicked in Kita’s brain. All his overthinking was hurting you. He knew you felt his inner turmoil when you were together. You always consoled him and told him he didn’t have to be perfect all the time, he could just be happy. And he was happy when he was with you.

Whatever the future held for you two, it didn’t change that right now he didn’t want to hurt you. He was committed to you whether he liked it or not. You had him wrapped around your finger. It was time to own it.

He gently grabbed your hand to prevent your leaving.

“Wait, I want to introduce you to them. If you’re comfortable. I’d also like if you’d come to our practices to wait for me instead after your club ends,” He said, thanking whatever gods he could remember his grandma telling him about that his voice remained even.

It was a question he’d been dying to ask you but was too nervous about the implications. He wanted you to see him practice and now the other people in his life. Even if they were idiots.

A small smile played on your lips making his heart stutter.

“I’d love that, but do I look OK?” You asked, nervous as you hadn’t meant for this to be such a big day.

Kita reached out and stroked your cheek gently with the back of his hand as he said with the utmost tenderness in his voice, “You look perfect, always.”

Without giving you time to properly react to this, he turned and started walking towards the gym while still holding your hand. He stopped in front of the gym, Aran keeping all the boys from pouncing on you two.

“This is my girlfriend, (Y/N). She will be coming to practice after her club ends and I expect you all to be polite to her,” Kita commanded, his captain voice switching on.

Atsumu was of course the first to speak as he blurted, “Hey you’re in my year! So you’ll go out with a human robot but not me?”

Kita was going to kill him. He wasn’t embarrassed by you, but he sure as hell was embarrassed by his team.

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nejibaby · 1 year

Text

i don’t even mind

Pairing: Iwaizumi Hajime x Reader

Word count: 0.5k

“When it comes to feelings for you, Iwaizumi Hajime is an immovable force.”

You’re well aware of the metaphorical dance you and Iwaizumi Hajime have going on. One step forward, two steps back. Repeat.

It’s a seemingly never ending performance of two could-be lovers that would have been easy to end if it weren’t for you.

Because unlike you, Iwaizumi Hajime is certain about his feelings for you. He’s straightforward, vocal, genuine and consistent. If he says he likes you, he leaves no space for you to doubt him.

And to you, it’s scary. It’s scary because of how easy it is to fall for him.

He’s nice. He gets along with everyone he meets. He’s favored even by your friends.

He’s driven. He makes sure that he sees through whatever he puts his mind into to the end.

And most importantly, he’s undemanding. He doesn’t try to control you or impose anything on you. He lets you be your own person, making your own decisions — including loving him.

He’s attractive in more ways than one.

Scratch that.

He’s ideal in more ways than one.

And even without meaning to, this fact alone weeds out all the jerks who start to take a liking to you. Because Hajime is hard to compete with. When it comes to feelings for you, he’s an immovable force.

And because he’s so ideal, it scares you because you’re just you.

Average.

Ordinary.

Regular.

Mediocre.

There are good days when you think you could probably deserve Hajime. And so you take a step towards him, lessening the imaginary gap that separates the two of you.

However, there are bad days that you feel too dull, too pale in contrast to his bright and scintillating personality. And the only logical thing that you could think of is to run away from him.

You suppose he’s bound to get tired someday — of the constant push and pull, of the endless cycle of reassurances. But he doesn’t.

“There’s no need to rush,” Hajime comforts you as you cry into his arms. “You don’t have to give me an answer right away.”

“But you’ve been waiting for me for so long,” you sob.

“I don’t even mind.”

“I don’t like that it seems like I’m leading you on,” you stare directly into his eyes, tears streaming down your face.

“Are you?” He asks meekly and looks away.

“What?”

“Are you leading me on?”

“I don’t think so. I know I have feelings for you, but…”

“Then that’s a good enough answer for me,” he smiles.

He watches as your lips quiver, and your eyes continue to be lined by another wave of unshed tears, and he thinks it just might be impossible for his heart to flutter but also break at the same time.

Underneath the moonlight, he still thinks you’re more perfect than anyone else, even with your tear-streaked face.

But it also hurts him that you’re hurting. It pains him to know you’re in an internal battle with yourself.

And so he says what he always says, “I don’t even mind, baby. I’ll wait for you until you’re ready.”

You wrap your arms around him and let yourself melt into him.

He strokes your back gently, and he whispers, “We don’t have to rush. I just want to cherish you. Tell me…. do you mind?”

When he feels the lone, tender kiss on his neck, he knows your answer.

if this seems familiar, it’s originally posted in my main so yeah anyway, feedback and reblogs are appreciated!

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admiringlove · 9 months

Text

[4:02]

you could hear your heart, thumping loudly in your ears as you lay bare-bodied in his arms. the covers are cozy and the air is cold, whilst his embrace brings you warmth. his breath fans over your forehead as you, in a sleepy haze look aimlessly at the wall.

gosh, you wish you could turn the time back.

to when, exactly? when did any of this start? a few hours ago, when the two of you were just best friends watching a movie together? not quite, you think. because in truth, you have never been just best friends with suna rintarō. you have always been something more. the line between friends and something has always been blurry, too.

so when could you go back to? that day last month, when he started seriously flirting with you after his relationship with that pretty girl majoring in english ended? you knew he was messing around. as his best friend, you were privy to these things. suna was the type of boy to take his life lightly when it mattered the most. perhaps he regretted it later, but you'd never know. you never knew what thoughts juxtaposed in his mind. the most you could do was predict his actions. which of course, almost always have shitty fucking consequences.

maybe you'd go back to the really rainy day last year, when it was pouring so harshly that the two of you got stuck at the bus stop downtown. sitting together, thighs touching and hands clasped against one another, shivering against the cold while being inches apart from the other's lips. what a day that was. you finally understood that day that you could never really move on from him even if you tried your hardest. he would simply always be there. rin had that effect on people where he would linger like the scent of a cigarette—not leaving someone's mind for days on end.

or really, should you be going back to that time in high school when you first developed a crush on him? walking home together while talking about volleyball, or watching the videos he took of the twins fighting, sharing chuupets and being excited about indirectly kissing. gosh, those were really the days, weren't they? when you'd get giddy when he simply called your name.

yet here you were. in his bed, staring at the off-white wall, wondering if you could ever go back to being those two hopeful kids. maybe you should have pushed him away when he cuddled close. or maybe you shouldn't have come here at all. but you did. you gave and you gave because that's in your nature. and suna? he's a taker, of course. he never took you for granted though. it's what made you trust him with your life.

your heart still thumped loudly, almost banging in your ears. regret is what you felt—because after all these years, all you were good for was some cheap sex around a month and a half after his break-up. it felt filthy to you. maybe not to him, because he laid next to you, sleeping soundly. your mind, however, would not stop running. it's like suna never got tired of being the most important person in your life. your life almost revolved around him, but at the same time, it didn't.

you slowly turned, not wanting to disturb his sleep. in hindsight, you should have just taken his arm off. but you didn't. you choose the hard way out. because his touch would feel like pity that he takes upon you—perhaps that's why you felt so cheated. never in a million years had he looked upon you in this way, even if his words meant something utterly different. you knew he couldn't see you in this light because you were innocently present throughout his life. he probably saw you more as family than the unholy sins you've committed tonight.

you're finally not facing him, your body barely being covered because suna hoards the covers. you sigh, sitting up. the digital clock on the nightstand reads that it is four-twenty-six in the morning. it pains you to stand and get dressed in such a way. you watch him as you swiftly pull on your jeans, and walk out of the room. one glance is all you allow yourself. because you know it's better not to look. it's better not to give into your deepest desires, since you know that none of them will come true anyway. you grab your things and muster up the courage to leave him like that—alone, and bare.

"what're you doing?" you flinch when you hear it. the croaky, yet deep enough voice that sounds almost hazy like a midsummer fever dream. you turn, eyes glassy and lips parted. he looks at you with squinted eyes and a yawn, as he scratches his head. his hair is inevitably a mess, and he adorns nothing but a pair of sweatpants that hang loosely at the lower part of his hip.

"nothing," you mumble, "i just remembered that i have a busy day so i should probably go."

god, stop talking. you wanted to choke yourself. he looked at you as if you'd said something stupid. and suddenly, you felt like a child in front of him.

"you told me you have nothing to do today before we," he clears his throat, "y'know."

"yeah, and now i have things to do," you say, firmly. you want to stand your ground. you refuse to be a puppet in his games. and you refuse to be pitied. suna was always a puzzle to you, finding ways to keep you coming back for more as if he were some sort of sick addiction.

"oh," he says. he's leaning against the wall, crossing his arms over his chest as he watches you grab your things. you look back at him as you sling the bag over your shoulder, car keys jingling in your left hand. he sighs, "well, i won't stop you if you're busy."

that's the thing. you want him to stop you. you want him to grab your wrist just as you're about to leave, and whisper something to you that'll make you stay. you yearn for him to say something. anything. even if it's blatantly platonic and hurtful, you want him to part his stupidly soft lips and stop you. but he does not.

he stays there, watching you walk out of his apartment. the bitterness in your throat spreads across your body, filtering its way deep into your heart. it hurts so much that the pain becomes physically invasive as you sit in the driver's seat of your car and go through the lonely roads. he still lingers like a tattoo kiss in your mind, and you feel idiotic for thinking he could ever love you. the bitter realization that his heart beats for another would underscore your every interaction, like a discordant note in your sweet, imaginative and one-sided symphony. an out-of-tune symphony, perhaps.

and you think, maybe that was all suna was meant to be. someone who uses you so much that you have nothing left to give anymore. you'll always be the peasant that's on their knees, and he'll be the aristocrat that stands up tall with a smirk on his face—ready to take what he wants at all costs.

to yearn, and yet not be yearned for in return, to love, and yet not be loved in return; this was the dreadful burden born in secret tonight, a cruel punishment for your heart that dared to dream of more than just a mere friendship with him. an almost silent agony, etched in the bitter sweetness of love unreturned, in the silence of a night shared with suna rintarō who was simply, devastatingly, just a friend.

based off this request. part two to this fic is now available.

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thelittlewriter · 1 year

Text

Bad Day

Pairing : Kuroo x Reader

Scenario : You suddenly start to put some distance between you and your boyfriend. Did you simply have a bad day ? Or is it something more ?

The bed was painfully large. He hated that you weren't with him. You had been sleeping in the guest room for almost a week now. Nowhere how hard he tried, he couldn't fix it. There was nothing to fix. Everything had been fine until one day.

"I'm gonna sleep in the guest room tonight," you suddenly said.

His heart skipped a beat when he heard that.

"Did I do something wrong ?"

You shook your head as you said :

"I just need some time alone. I'll be back soon."

You hadn't since then. Nothing really changed between the two of you. You had been spending time together, as usual. And yet, he couldn't help but notice your tone and your eyes. You looked tired. Sad. He wondered what went wrong, why your change seemed to be sudden. It couldn't be. This sort of uneasiness didn't appear in just one day. He had missed the signs. He didn't pay enough attention. And now, he was not what you needed. Worse, you needed to be away from him. It was so bad that you couldn't sleep in the same bed.

He walked to the guest room. The door was closed but the light was still on. He knocked. You didn't answer.

"Y/N ?"

You didn't say anything. He heard your steps going toward the door but he didn't say anything. Maybe you didn't want to talk.

You opened the door. Your eyes met his and you smiled. It didn't reached your ears like usual and your eyes weren't as bright as before.

"Is there something wrong ?" you asked.

You thought you could fool him. You wanted to. You were going to be fine. Not now, but soon. You didn't know exactly when but you wanted him to still be there when you would. That was why you didn't want him to see you sad.

"Tell me what's wrong, Y/N."

His eyes were just like yours. The one you were seeing you were seeing when you looked in the mirror.

Exhausted, worried.

You couldn't keep doing that to him. You took him by the hand and led him to the bed. You took a deep breath. It wasn't easy to admit.

"I don't know what's wrong with me."

He gently caressed your hand, encouraging you to continue.

"You make me happy but I'm sad and I don't know why."

Your vision became blurry and your voice was shaking. You never said that to anybody. It was sometimes like this. Like you were empty.

"I feel empty and I don't know how to fix it."

You sobbed as he took you in his arms.

"I don't want you to think that you did anything wrong. It'll pass, I promise."

He held you tighter. He heard you sniff as you forced yourself to stop crying.

"I'm fine, I just had a bad day."

He felt you shaking in his arms. You looked so fragile, like you were about to break into pieces. You were not fine. You needed help. It wasn't just a bad day.

"It's not true, Y/N, and you know it."

You started to cry again. You could hide it but you couldn't stop it.

"And I'll be here even if you're not fine. Even if it's not just a bad day."

You were holding his shirt so tight that he thought you were going to tear it.

"I don't want you to think that I'm not the person you fell in love with anymore. I wanna stay funny and happy."

His heart ached. He wondered how long you had been keeping your sadness from him. He wondered if he had ever known you happy.

"I love you no matter what and I want you to know that I'll be here even if you're not ok. You don't have to hide this from me."

You stated silent for a moment, your body still shaking. Suddenly, he heard you take a deep breath.

"I'm not ok," he heard you say. "I need help."

You looked up to him, with red and puffy eyes.

"Can you help me ?"

He kissed your forehead and answered :

"Always."

Hey ! I feel like I've been away for a while... I started writing this when I wasn't feeling good (take care of your mental health because once it's here it's never really gone). Anyway, I hope you liked it ! Have a good day !

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charbakugou · 2 years

Text

HEAVEN AND EARTH CAN'T SAVE ME NOW (7.4K)

SYNOPSIS: suna cheats on you, or that’s what you think.

CW: major angst, swearing, established relationship, cheating.

MORE: there will be no part two. i really did hurt myself writing this. sometimes i think about a part two and then i can’t think of what it could be.

you were walking across the cold streets laughing on the phone with your mum as you made your way to the jeweller after finishing up work at the office.

“Mum! don’t say that, i don’t know that he even wants to marry me.” you chuckle out

“haah? of course he wants to marry you, have you seen yourself? not only that, that boy is infatuated with you. I see it in his eyes.”

“yeah well i wouldn’t know, he brushes the topic off whenever its brought up.” you mutter as your mood turns sour, remembering how distant suna has been these past couple of weeks.

“he’s probably avoiding the topic so that it’ll be a true surprise when he proposes.”

“sure mum, we’ll go with that.” as you stand at the crosswalk across the jeweller, momentarily looking up and that's when you saw him. you weren’t expecting it, to be honest but at the same time maybe deep down you knew that you were never good enough for him. you were standing on the opposite street watching as ur lover, or ex-lover now? you watched as he smiled with her, as he lovingly caressed her cheek, as they sat a little too close to be called just friends.

“oi? are you even listening to me? did you reach the jeweller? hello? ah the stupid connection i swear! y/n sweetie i can’t hear you.”

your mother’s voice rang out momentarily breaking your trance as you watched him with the girl sitting at the cafe.

“ah, I'm here. I'll call you later, I reached the jeweller.”

You usually didn’t take this route home, you usually didn’t walk down this path on your way back, but you were heading to a jeweller in this area that coincidentally fell right next to a cafe. It was christmas time and suna had been speaking about wanting a piece of jewellery with the stone, obsidian, to represent his time at inarizaki and you had found a jeweller that was willing to make a custom piece with that specific stone.

Now here you were picking up the ring, and that cafe next to the jeweller was the same cafe that you were now watching as your boyfriend was on a date? with another woman? you honestly don’t even know if you were processing the information in your head properly. all you knew was that your ears were ringing, and your mind was racing. you felt your heart breaking and beating quicker the more you watched. but there was this sinking feeling within you, something that felt like you were drowning from the inside out.

What were you even supposed to do?

you decided against interrupting his date, instead sticking to the plan that was rapidly forming in your head.

grab the ring.

head home.

pack your things.

wait for taro suna.

tell him to be happy with her.

leave.

move on.

luckily when you walked to the jeweler he hadn’t noticed you. you entered and greeted the man. He brought out the specially carved ring for him. a fox, a tibetan sand fox to be specific.

“as you recall from our agreement, because this is custom we won’t be offering a refund.”

“yes, of course”

“Is this for your boyfriend?

you froze as you pulled out your card to pay.

“yeah. yeah it's for him.” you stuttered out.

“What a lovely gift! I did my hardest to create the idea you had in mind and wanted to do your idea justice. You must be truly in love with him. He is very lucky to have you.” you feel another piece of your heart chip off, another brick added to the wall you were slowly building.

you just nodded before grabbing the box and your card and thanking him on the way out. You thought you were in the clear as you left the store, but it was an accident when you caught suna’s eyes. your eyes widened slightly. shit. he looks slightly perplexed and ready to rush after you but you don’t give him time. In an instant you turn your head and walk at an unnatural pace towards the train station. losing yourself in the crowd as you get on your train to head home. you see a familiar bob of brown as the train disappears through the tunnel. you find a seat and catch a breath as the moments from before replay in your head.

she laughed at something he said and a small smile played on his face as he silently watched her laugh.

he poked her in the side causing her to lean forward in an attempt to stop him from tickling.

He pecked her cheek as she was talking about something. When was the last time you kissed him? When was the last time he kissed you?

she leaned against his shoulder, slightly caressing his cheek. you thought he hated to be touched, even though he said his love language was touch, even though he was always touchy with everyone else, even though he was touchy at the start of your friendship at the start of your relationship, yet he always shifted away from you when you wanted to cuddle, keeping you at a distance but an arm around your waist nonetheless.

he tucked her hair behind her ear as she brought the drink to her lips.

he smiled as he watched her animatedly talk about something. Did he ever smile at you like that? never in public, barely in private, you always just said it was because he had an expressionless face. You were always making excuses.

dark hair. porcelain skin. beautiful eyes. beautiful body. a beautiful laugh.

Everything you wished you were. Everything that you were always insecure about.

you felt a couple tears fall into your lap as you notice the card that was attached to the bag

Merry Christmas baby x can’t wait to spend forever with you <3.

As soon as they were there, they were gone. The few droplets of tears carried all the emotion you felt in the past 15 minutes. The wall was finished. There was nothing left for you to give anymore. You had given him everything and the saddest part about it is if you were asked “would you do it all over again?” you would give him everything again. You would spend every moment, every memory, every second with him again.

As you got off the train to make the walk back to your shared house everything in your head was spinning and all you could think of were the softest moments between you two.

…

you awoke to him kissing all over your face.

“good morning my love. let's have a good day today, yeah?” as he continued to kiss you all over your face, your neck, your body.

…

“baby it's raining!” you heard him holler from down stairs.

“yes! I can see that! what about it?”

“Come dance with me in the rain sweetheart!”

…

“you are more than enough for me darling, don’t let some rando on the internet say anything that makes you believe otherwise”

he held you softly but tightly as you continued to cry from the hate you were receiving after announcing your r/s to the world.

…

“ugh taro get off me! you’re heavy”

“But i'm tired and you’re comfy.” he mumbled into your neck

“Okay, but you are suffocating me.”

“play with my hair?”

“tarooooo!!!!!” you groaned

“y/nnnnnnnnn!!!!!” he groaned back

“Fine, but I'll be pushing you off if I need to pee.” as you card your fingers through his hair

“hmm”

…

“You did this all for me?”

as you looked at the picnic on the beach, there were petals scattering the surrounding area, the sun barely setting in the back.

he grabbed your hands pulling you close and tilting your face to face his.

“Darling, I would move heaven and earth for you.”

…

“doll? you awake?” as he played with the small strands of your hair

“hm,” you mumble into his chest as a response.

“I wanted to let you know I love you.”

you raise your head, looking at him perplexed.

“what.” it barely comes out as a whisper

“I love you. a lot.”

“Say it again, rin, please. so I know I'm not dreaming.”

“i love you y/n l/n. you and only you own my heart entirely.”

…

as you entered your house— god it wasn’t even an apartment it was a house because you guys wanted a family together— you were immediately intruded with his smell. The usual calming scent that would’ve brought you peace felt absurdly uncomfortable. It was like your mind was already erasing the moments together to numb the pain so that there was hope for you to fall in love again. But your heart had already built its walls. Heartbreak is usually felt in the chest, where a numbing sensation dawns and the entire inside of your body feels convulsing. Your heart is not used to that kind of phantom pain so it tries to release it in physical ways, puking, crying, yelling etc. While your heart was battling the pain that could be felt but could not be remedied with medicine your mind would look them all away, in a fortress surrounded by gates and large guards, keeping them secret for years to come.

but now as you walked through the house that you built with him, it was your mind begging for release. it was your mind begging for the memories to go away. it was your mind begging for the pain to stop. it was your mind pleading for you to save it. And your heart? Your heart was so shattered that you couldn’t even tell if it was beating or not. The pieces were so small that they were barely noticeable. The tungsten wall that was built around it barely gave it enough room to breathe, it was suffocating but for some reason you didn’t mind the pain.

you left the gift on the kitchen counter as you made your way up the stairs choosing to not look at the timeline of pictures from the start of your relationship till recently that decorated the walls. four years worth of pictures, they vary from the both of you traveling, to pictures from when the house was first in renovation, to all your firsts. you didn’t dare look because you didn’t want to know if you could see how uninterested he was in you. you didn’t want to know if you could see the love fade from his eyes throughout the years. Quickly ascending the stairs you enter your shared closet pulling out the two suitcases you had used to pack your stuff from your previous apartment when the two of you had finished building your house and it was finally time to move in.

every detail reminded you of him, every turn in the hallway, every wood panelling, every counter. you built this house from the ground up, quite literally. from the smallest details such as the door knobs on each door, to the marbled counters, to the balconies and outdoor space it was done together. there was not a place in the house that you could turn that didn’t hold its own memory. each wall art, each decor, each artefact from different places you visited together, everything down to the plates and the bowls and the cutlery that were in the drawers, to the placing of those cutlery in the kitchen you built together.

you quickly folded your clothes and placed them in your suitcase, manoeuvring like a robot. Quick. Calculated. Precise. When you were done with your clothes, you moved to your shoes, dumping those into a duffle bag before moving to the bathroom to grab your makeup and your hair products and dumping those into a big makeup bag and placing that in the same duffle as the shoes and zipping that up. you moved next to the winter clothes that were boxed and kept on the top most shelf in your closet. carefully getting it down, you emptied what was yours into the suitcase and placed the box back.

you were careful to keep the clothes that were his but that you wore on a daily basis back on his side in the closet. you moved next to jewellery, putting rings in boxes and the same with necklaces before tucking those into the sides of your coat pockets. before zipping up the one suitcase that was filled. you moved to grab all the bags and accessories that you kept on a hanger and dumped that into another duffle and zipped it up.

what else do you even pack from a house where all items were shared between the two?

you moved to the office room, and packed up your laptop and notes and other important paperwork that you might need. placing those into your backpack neatly and carefully. moving to the night stand to grab the valuables that you kept with you at all times; letters, cards, little knick knacks that you collected over the years. placing that into the second suitcase, then moving on to your chargers placing those in your backpack as well. you quickly moved downstairs to the laundry room before taking out the clean and dirty clothes, mixing them and placing them in a bag that would go in your suitcase to be washed wherever you ended up. you placed it in your second suitcase successfully zipping it up and carrying it down the stairs. you went back up and grabbed the other suitcase before bringing that down successfully as well.

as you move up the stairs for the last time to grab the last two duffles and your backpack you hear the door open and shut.

“y/n!”

fuck, his voice was enough for your walls to come crashing down.

you bounded up the rest of the stairs, grabbing the backpack from the bed and slinging the two duffles over your shoulder just as you were about to leave the room he came into view and the sight of him made your knees buckle and the brief thought of staying, of hearing him out floats through your head. you physically stutter as you take a step backwards as he moves closer to you.

“baby- i- just wait a second please let me explain.”

you were frozen in place, you felt him moving closer to you but you couldn’t move, you couldn’t even breathe. you could feel as his hands reached out to touch you and you promised you didn’t mean to flinch but you did and his hand retracted

“please- please just don’t touch me.” it was barely even a whisper, you couldn’t even recognise your own voice. It was fragile, hoarse. Your throat felt like glass shards, you felt like you were choking.

you felt like you were carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders as the duffle bag slipped off your shoulder. you feel your knees begin to grow weak and so you reach out to grab the bed frame to steady yourself as you stumble against the bedside table and find yourself sitting against it, when you get a flash of a memory.

“rin look at these tables, they are completely made out of tile and clay aren’t they sick? I mean look at this all black one?”

rin looked over your shoulder as he finished building the coffee table that was now resting on a fresh rug in the living room.

“wait, those are actually sick, we should get them for our bedroom. two so we can match.” he sends you a warm smile before placing a kiss on your cheek.

your body moved naturally, shooting itself upright as though it had landed on hot metal and it was burning to touch. you moved again to grab the bags that were on the floor now, you needed to get out of here and you needed to get out of here right now. you move to walk past him but he goes to grab your arm but hesitates, instead opting to step in front of you.

“please” he pleads

“please just let me explain”

“explain what? how do you explain this suna?” his heart burns hearing his last name from your lips.

“how do you explain being with someone else? how can you look at me and expect me to understand? I love you. We built our life together, this house we built together too. I gave you everything that I had left in me, I showed you parts of me I have never shown anyone before, I let you in even when YOU knew about my fears. I was patient with you when you weren’t ready to let me in. Do you even remember that? our first few months together were hell, and I stuck them out FOR YOU, for US. and now you want to explain? explain what? that you love them? that it was an accident. that you didn’t mean for it to happen? that you’re sorry for me having to find out this way?”

you looked at him now and you heard the echo of the wall that you had built crashing. his eyes were red, blood shot even and there were tears, from the boy who was emotionless. Four years and you’d never seen him cry, not to the saddest movie, not when he was frustrated as hell from practise, not from any mental breakdown you’ve witnessed. But today, he stood before you with tears in his eyes. His dark circles prominent, his olive green eyes dark, pleading, empty. He looked like he was in pain, like this was genuinely painful for him to hear. good. you thought.

“or are you gonna say that it was a mistake? that it was a one time thing? That she was a one time thing? can you honestly even say that? can you honestly look at me and tell me you still love me when I see the way you looked at her? The way you acted with her? can you honestly look at me and tell me she means nothing to you? i’m sorry that i didn’t notice the signs before, i’m sorry if i ever gave you a reason to make you not feel loved. i’m sorry that you thought you couldn’t tell me you had fallen out of love with me. but, please suna, just do us both a favour and not try and explain things. Go and be happy with them, yeah? treat her like she’s the world, go and move heaven and earth for her. sell this house and start over with her, let them love you in the ways i could never. you don’t have to worry anymore about me not knowing that you don’t love me anymore. it’s okay. just don’t for a moment worry about me, because i’ll be okay. i’ll always be okay.”

You reach out to place a flat palm against his chest, to feel his heartbeat one last time. To feel him one last time, before you let the hand drop and you feel the door shut on love. You move to walk past him as you hear him say.

“I love you, y/n. I always did.”

“I'm sure you did.” you mutter before walking out the door, feeling your mind slowly numb to the bruises that were the memories.

….

SUNA’S POV

That day at the cafe changed everything in suna’s life.

You will end your relationship with y/n

Half of him did not know why he went along with r/n. He didn’t understand why he was sitting there flirting with a girl who meant nothing to him. He didn’t know why he indulged her to go to this cafe. He wasn’t processing his actions as he sat at that cafe and tucked a piece of her hair behind her ear. In all honesty, suna wanted to puke, terribly. His entire body felt disgusting as he flirted with the girl in front of him. All he could think of was how he wanted it to be y/n.

My father owns the company she works at.

Every flirtatious giggle, every brief touch between them, every single minute that he spent at that cafe his entire body was shaking with absolute rage for the woman in front of him. He didn’t have a choice though, he was put in a compromising position so he sucked it up and he did what he had to do. He saw y/n walking down the street. He saw their face drop when they saw what unfolded between the two of them. He saw them walk stupidly fast past them, doing their best to avoid eye contact. He felt every moment chip a piece of his heart away.

If you don’t listen to me, I will end your career as a volleyball player.

He knew that getting involved with a girl like r/n was trouble. He knew that from the first moment that she started pestering him. He knew that from the first dm he ignored, then from the constant pinging of his phone which was her notifications. Constantly badgering him, constantly wanting him to give her his attention, constantly wanting to be next to him, constantly needing him. Yet something about her piqued his interest. Something about the way she dressed, the way she held herself. The way her mind processed things, the way she held herself. So he indulged in one dm message from her.

From then on, he found himself talking with her daily. But he never wanted to pursue a relationship. He never wanted anything more than a friendship. He never talked flirty or engaged in her flirty techniques. He made it very clear he was in a relationship and he made it very clear he had no intention of cheating on y/n. But she had other plans, other ideas, other motives for them. Them. it was disgusting to even think that, that was even a thing. But here he was, sitting at a cafe pretending he was on a date with a girl that he had no interest in. Could he even fake being in love like that?

He didn’t mean to make eye contact with them when they left the shop, but thats what he did and in that moment he thought fuck r/n and her threats. He knew where his happiness lied and he knew where he needed to be so he sprinted after her. Curse y/n and her fast walking pace. He felt his heart beating in his ears as he chased after her. He felt his heart chip as he saw the train doors shut.

The world was spinning when he made it back to their house. His eyes were burning as he saw the packed bags, as he saw her sprint up the stairs. His chest tightened as she flinched at his touch. His legs felt weak as he watched her slowly break in front of him. He wanted to reach out and wrap them in his arms. Let them know that none of it was real. That there were no feelings for her, that it was all just a great elaborate plan.

But he couldn’t, it was like he tried to voice his words all he could think of was how much he didn’t want to ruin your life even more than he already did. He felt like there was no way to forgive such actions. There was no way to explain what he had done. There was no way they would stand there and listen to what he had been asked to do, what he had been forced to do. No forgiveness would be shared, no happiness would be felt. All he could do was hear the pain in their voice and see them walk out of his life without a second glance.

When they finally walked out the door, he felt himself collapse into shambles on top of their bed. He felt frozen in time for god knows how long till he feels his phone buzz rapidly in his pocket. He shifts slightly, pulling the phone out of his pocket to see r/n flashing on his screen. Begrudgingly, he picks up the phone, not a word spoken between them for the first few minutes before he hears her laugh and the rage that fills suna was unspeakable.

“You think this is funny?”

“I told you rin~ I always get what I want.”

“Don’t call me that, you don’t have a right.”

She laughs again, “don’t worry you’ll end up falling in love with me eventually.”

She laughs once more before she ends the call and suna is left in the quiet glass room with the remnants of a life he took for granted. He looks around the now empty room, every single thing they had built and decorated was a mix of their personalities. They had intertwined their lives and their wants, and their desires and the outcome was their house and now he is left with pieces, a fragmented glass fractured by his own doing. He sucked at emotions and he never thought he could love, but he found out he could with y/n because of y/n.

Turns out now he could fake being in love as well.

…

4 years later.

you slipped your shoes off before placing them on the shoe rack in your new apartment. it wasn’t anything special and you knew you could afford way better, as in way better than this hole in the wall. but you just didn’t feel the need to buy a new one or even the desire to be in a better apartment. the apartment served you well and it did the necessary things to keep you safe and alive.

you grabbed the stack of mail that you had brought up from the mailbox and dumped it on the counter to open after dinner and before bed. quickly hopping in the shower, you rinsed off and washed your hair before moving to your skin routine. you finished up and placed food in milo’s (your cat) food bowl, waiting for him to come out of his little den to eat. you made yourself some food as well before heading to the couch to watch some netflix. as you were finishing up milo came up and curled up on your lap, purring as you petted him.

Once you were done, you turned the tv off and cleaned the dishes before heading over to the mail. junking most of the ads and free magazines. you were about to call it a night when you noticed a dark red envelope, calligraphy was daintily painted over the front. the quality too high to be mistook as a regular envelope, the regal feeling it sent to foreign for you to ignore. it was addressed to you and so you tore it open revealing a glass invitation. in calligraphy, it was written.

you are invited to the wedding of Suna Rintarou and r/n l/n.

for a moment you were at a loss of words, a loss of feelings. Your entire body freezes at the thought of seeing Suna, happy at the altar, being married off. inside the envelope was a RSVP card and in scratched handwriting was a note “you may bring a guest.'' The wedding was in two weeks, somewhere in the mountains of Osaka.

after the breakup you didn’t really find the need to be following suna on his socials so you unfollowed him and kept on moving. but you knew he still followed you when he liked your occasional posts. but the only reason the invitation wasn't a complete and utter surprise to you was the fact that your mum had already told you about it. apparently she found it in her need to keep following his socials and staying updated with his life, you on the other hand didn’t really care. The only real question was why would he want you there?

Deciding that this could be the final goodbye, the answer that would cease your endless what if’s and scenarios that plagued your head on occasion.

….

two weeks later aka the day of the wedding

you were in a black cowl neck dress that was backless but the straps of the dress were evident. your hair was pulled back into a claw clip, but it was curled and done neatly so it would be acceptable to wear at a wedding. you had on gold hoops and a gold flat chain around your neck and your makeup was once again simple. your dress was definitely not something people would stop and stare at and think you were dressed inappropriately. you were aiming for simple, but you wanted to look good.

you were hoping to slip in and slip out. maybe a couple of words to the groom, a congrats, maybe before you were out of there. The thought process behind attending simply wasn’t there. all you knew is that you wanted to see him one last time, maybe it was torture or maybe it was for closure. Who knew? Because you certainly didn’t.

as you pulled up to the venue you already noticed how nice it looked. you also noticed the small details that shouted suna!

“i want our theme to be red and black”

as you walked into the venue you noticed it was all made of glass and the walkway was adorned with deep maroon and white petals, littered in a zig-zag pattern to identify the aisle. the chairs that lined the edge were also marked with white bouquets. the guests were quietly filling in and you noticed many of his teammates and people you used to be friends with and you moved quickly to avoid catching their eye. you found a seat in the corner of the glass room all the way in the back. where you could see the altar but hopefully they wouldn’t be able to see you.

“what do you think about a glass venue? we could do white flowers to off-set the red and black.”

you watched as the final guests made their way to their seats. you sat quietly and spoke to absolutely no-one. you watched as the groom and his groomsmen walk onto the stage when you feel your shoulder being tapped. you turn to see an old lady, you knew it was sunas grandmother but she made no efforts to show she knew who you were.

“do you mind giving up your seat dear?”

“of course it’s no problem.”

as you stood up, you accidentally caught the eye of suna. dammit. you let the old lady and the old man sit in the chairs that you previously occupied. making yourself move towards the back where the people with cameras were standing so you were unnoticeable. but it was already too late, he had seen you there. but in a flash the music began to play.

“i seriously don’t want to watch you walk down the aisle to canon.d maybe something romantic like say you won’t let go by james arthur”

The song that began to play sounded like “can’t help falling in love with you,”, but you were focused as the flower girls, the parents all walked down the aisle and then lastly the bridesmaids. Your gaze finds suna once again watching him carefully, and soon the song shifts and it is time for the bride to walk down. most’s eyes were watching as she walked down the aisle, but your eyes were on him. you watched as he took a breath in, you watched as his muscles went rigid.

“nah i seriously don’t think i’ll cry when i see you walk down the aisle. i’m not a pussy y/n”

it was only after she had reached the altar had you noticed that osamu (his best man) had his eyebrows furrowed and for a brief moment was watching you. you looked away and the ceremony began.

“i think the actual ceremony should be short and sweet, just how it should be done.”

that’s what the ceremony was, hearing their vows made you nearly tear up because at one point you imagined it to be yourself up there. you on that altar promising to love him forever, promising yourselves to each other. when the wedding ceremony was over, you waited as the groom and bride walked out first and you slipped out the side doors to go to the reception area. you knew that you shouldn’t stay much longer but you wanted to see the reception hall before you left.

you walked through the long hallway where you could see the guests congratulating the bride and getting ready for their picture to be taken. you continue walking down the glass hallway before you make it over to the reception hall area. It was packed with tables and there was a wooden floor designated for dancing. There was a bar and multiple tables lined with a cake and food to enjoy.

The backdrop, where a camera was set up, was a dark green bush with red flowers draped delicately. The final touches of “The Suna’s” written in Calligraphy plastered in Neon Lights. you noticed the table at the entrance, where there was a book for guests to sign, and take a picture with a polaroid and shots that had table numbers in them.

“my parents, at their wedding, had their guests take a funny picture and sign it in a book, i think we should do that. So we can keep the memories of what is going to be the best night of our lives.”

you walked out of the reception hall, out the doors and further down towards a gazebo that had been decorated. you needed a breath of fresh air. as you stood leaning against the railing in the gazebo hut, preparing yourself to leave. you hear footsteps approach you. expecting it to be suna, you turn only to be met with osamus now darker hair.

“what are you doing here?”

hostility, you were not expecting that.

“um, sorry. i wanted to see the reception area before i left.”

“i mean what are you doing at the wedding.” he retorted, a brash tone in his voice.

“i was invited.” you calmly stated back.

“i don’t care that you were invited, you shouldn’t be here. suna is happy without you.”

not wanting to bother to fight him or start an argument, you took this as your sign to leave.

“you’re right, please give my wishes to mr. and mrs.suna.” just as you turned to leave the gazebo you heard another voice.

“haven’t you learned any manners osamu? that’s not how we treat our guests.” suna.

you hadn’t heard that voice in so long.

“They are not welcome here.” he spits back. Why the hell was he so angry at me? i was invited and i didn’t even make a scene, he has no right to be angry. In the end it was you who was hurt, not him so what the fuck.

“it’s not your wedding, is it?” he retorted. He waits for a response and when he doesn’t respond, he whispers.

“Give us five minutes will you?”

osamu just grunts before you hear footsteps fading away.

“I know you rsvp’d but i didn’t think you’d actually come. Did you bring a guest?”

you let out a breath before spinning on your heel only to be faced with the man you love. he was breathtakingly beautiful. the red and black suit was tailored to perfection, it fit his body like a glove. he looked good, he looked really good.

“yeah, i didn’t have anyone to bring.” you muttered out. you walked towards the railing, not only to help lean your weight but also to put distance between you and him. but he immediately followed your step, leaning too against the railing.

“n/n, you should try to move on.” your eyes involuntarily shut as you heard that name for the first time in four years. no one calls you that anymore, fear that they would trigger too many memories.

“the ceremony was beautiful, and so was the reception hall. you look really happy suna and i’m happy for you.”

you whisper out finally and you could honestly say that you meant those words. you were also deflecting his comment. He didn’t look at you when you said that, eyes drifting off towards the view, giving you time to drink in his face. His eyes were still as sharp, his features just the same. His jaw is sharper than ever. His body looked more toned out, but the bags under his eyes gave it all away. He wasn’t sleeping, it was always hard for him to sleep when he overworked himself. But you bite your tongue to not bring it up, not to let him know that you still knew him from the inside out.

“thank you for coming.” he mutters back. you nod. you notice he tries to say something, but then fails and then tries again.

“i’m sorry-”

“Don’t, don’t do that to yourself and don’t apologise for something that is now in the past. it wasn’t your intention to fall out of love with me but it happened. you don’t need to apologise.”

they fall into a comfortable silence.

“your mum congratulated me on the wedding. i wasn’t expecting it, thought she would hate me after she found out ….” he trails off.

she snorted.

“what?”

“i never told anyone the truth.”

“What? What do you mean? ” he asked, a little more perplexed, eyebrows furrowing and his face visibly confused.

“I just didn’t want to and i also didn’t even understand it myself. my friends and family don’t know you cheated. I just told them that we fell out of love, that we drifted apart and it was unfixable the distance between us.”

“why?” he whispers out

“because they love you, my family loves you, my friends love you. i couldn’t change their perspective of you because of something that wasn’t, TO ME at least, didn’t really seem like your fault. i don’t agree with the way you chose to pursue things, but i can’t blame you for it either. you fell out of love suna. you found somebody new. so yeah to them we just never ended up working out. and none of your friends ever reached out afterward so i never told them anything either.”

suna doesn’t know what to say to that. He had no response because you didn’t know half of it. You didn’t know that he hadn’t found someone new. That he never fell out of love with you. That he was not happy, not for one moment for the past years did he even so much feel a glint of happiness.

“I’m sorry for the way osamu acted, i honestly don’t know why he’s been so angry recently. i told him the truth, as in all of it. I still don’t know specifically to who, but he’s been taking it out on everyone and i guess he doesn’t really like r/n but i think it's just his bias that he holds for you and um r/n doesn’t really like you all too much, so i think he gets heated when she talks about you in a bad light. She thinks that you weren’t good for me. something about holding me back, and not pushing me to my fullest potential.” he whispers out, almost like he shouldn’t have told you but he did anyways, like he couldn’t keep anything from you.

the statement left a sour mark on your tongue. not pushing him to his best abilities? what does that even mean? Weren’t they the one who helped him voice his thoughts more? teach him that talking about his feelings and not just pretending he doesn’t care is healthy? Weren’t they the ones who taught him that breaking down was okay? Weren’t they the one to always encourage him to take the opportunities that were offered to him?

“obviously, i don’t agree with her. but she’s my wife.” and there it was, the final kick to her gut. The answer you were waiting for.

she shouldn’t have come.

“what the two of you have is beautiful, i can see from the way you look at her that you really love her and i am seriously happy for you suna.”

“i want that for you. you know?”

“what? happiness?”

“that yes, but to find someone who loves you.”

she lets out a small laugh before finally answering his statement from before.

“i have moved on rin. before i met you i knew that i wanted to be alone in life, i just knew i was better by myself and that was just that, a fact. then you came into my life and wrecked all those ideas and all those beliefs and i was ready and honestly willing to give my entire future to you, i gave up all my ideas for a life with you. then we ended and i tried to date again after working on myself and i just never felt anything with anyone. so I stopped wasting my time and focused on things i enjoyed doing. i have moved on, I just went back to the plans before you. I would like to say that I am happy as well. as happy as someone can choose to be.” she whispered out.

Once again suna was left speechless to your thoughts, to the way you held yourself, to the way you spoke. He felt his heart shatter as he realised that after this he would never get to hear you speak again, never get to hear your thoughts again this was it.

“Do you mind if I hold you one last time? A final hug for goodbye?” He murmurs, his eyes watching yours as your body freezes.

He waits, praying to all the gods in the world that you would say yes. Praying that he would be able to feel you in his arms again, for the last time. He watches as your body relaxes and you finally meet his eyes, turning to face him before taking a slow step towards him.

“One final hug as goodbye.” you repeat. As you bring yourself to your tippy toes to wrap your arms around his neck, his hands naturally find their way around your waist. The hug held every emotion that the two of you had kept inside for the past four years.

Yours. Feelings of love, grief and goodbye.

His. feelings of regret, remorse and reminisce.

The moment lasted longer than anticipated, complaints came from neither of you as you stayed within each other's embrace. Before you pull away, stepping back and composing yourself before you say your final wishes.

“I’ll always be here for you, rin, if you ever need anything. I’m sorry it didn’t work out between us. I wish you the best.”

Before you finally turned and headed back to the entrance of the venue, ready to get back to your mundane life, leaving all the fairytales, what if’s and wishful thinkings at that gazebo in the mountains of osaka. Though you felt light on your toes you couldn’t help but think;

if you had moved on, why did it hurt so much to say goodbye?

“This isn’t fair to either of you, you deserve to be together.” suna hears osamu’s voice cut through the silence.

“Yeah, well life’s not fair sometimes.” suna murmurs out, as he watches you slip into your car and drive off.

“We have to do something about r/n. She can’t just keep threatening your career. You aren’t happy, rin.” osamu pushes.

“Drop it samu, they’ve moved on. It’s not fair but that’s how life goes, not all of us get happy endings.” suna says before he walks off.

two lives, once previously intertwined in perfect harmony and a sudden catastrophe sends them both into cataclysmic destruction. the once previous thought of happily ever after non-existent to the both of them. Neither happy, neither satisfied, yet both living in the shell of their bodies in hopes that one day they can be whole again.

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#— (╥ω╥).#— suna rintarou.#— haikyuu.#haikyuu!! x reader #suna x you #suna x reader #suna angst #haikyu angst

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