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lizzie-is-here · 2 years

Text

like the dawn

part x- the letters

“i’m afraid of a lot of things, but mostly, most sincerely, i am afraid of being completely unraveled by you, and you finding nothing you want in here” - l.m. dorsey

summary: as you settle in at the compound, the free time gives you a bit too much room for self reflection. not like the closeness of your trio is helping with your littles crushes either.

wordcount: 4.3k

warnings: pining, more pining, lil 🤏 angst, trauma, hydra fucked up ya boi, lists, yes lists is a warning

a/n: can you tell i was obsessed with parallels this chapter 💀 also the ✨olive theory✨ but no but i’m really happy w how this turned out hope u enjoy and like always, love you! 🥺🤍

taglist: @whelvedfeelingsstuff @sebsgirl71479 @rebloggingmyrecs @babyblublossom @local-mr-frog @thenyxsky @capsiclesdoll @moonlightreader649 @saranghaey @almosttoopizza

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The next days were dedicated to establishing a schedule. Thankfully, that was something Steve had always been good at. With his help, you had a nice, flexible schedule that would help you ease back into normal life.

5:00 AM:

Wake up. Take a flying lap. Get ready. Suppress the urge to think about how domestic getting ready with your boys is. Head down to the kitchen for a snack before stretching and going for a run around the compound. Follow up with a workout and cool-down stretch.

7:00 AM:

Eat a good breakfast, and use the opportunity to try new foods. Sometimes other members of the teams join you. You still don’t talk around them much. After breakfast, shower.

8:30 AM:

Let Steve teach you and Bucky about the modern world, plus catch you up on his life. Get distracted by his smile and his biceps. Pretend to not be distracted. Think about the lockbox.

12:00 PM:

Eat lunch. Sometimes with other team members. After lunch, go for a fly around the grounds.

1:30 PM:

Either run errands or just go into town. Avoid touchy paparazzi and blush when Bucky defends you in front of them. Get confused about why you’re blushing. Think about the lockbox again.

6:30 PM:

Dinner. Always a full-team event. Sit silently so as to not interrupt or bother anyone. Always thank whoever cooked or ordered the food. Help clean up after.

After a week, you’re comfortable with the order. You enjoy how much time you spend with your boys, despite worrying about being clingy. And despite how quiet you are around everyone else, you enjoy being around them, too.

One day, after your morning run, none of the three of you hear the noise coming from the kitchen. But the team hears you.

You, Bucky, and Steve are in the middle of a half-joking-half-serious debate about Steve’s old USO costume, voices carrying down the halls with a lightheartedness that the rest of the team isn’t used to hearing.

“It made your ass look great,” you insist, causing Tony to snort and shoot an “I-told-you-so” look at Natasha. Sam silently laughs even harder when he hears the infamous Winter Soldier fully agree with you, even going into talking about how “lifting” the spandex was.

“You two are just pervs,” Steve laughs. “That uniform hid absolutely nothing.” Bucky elbows him.

“Bet the girls loved that,” he chuckles. Steve goes ten shades of red and hides his face in his hands, trying to ignore the teasing.

The lights in the kitchen flicker with your laughter, and a few of the Avengers glance up. Compound lights rarely flicker, much less go out. A perk of having a Stark running your tech.

The three of you stumble into the kitchen, and in the brief moment before you realize the whole group is gathered there, Natasha Romanoff notices three things.

One: Steve has never looked this happy. Not in the four years she’s known him. His features are lighter, the deep crease between his brow is relaxed. He finally looks his age.

Two: You and Barnes are much louder than you’ve been acting. She supposes guilt is making you more shy than usual. More than anything, she’s glad to see you smiling for once.

Three: The three of you are absolutely in love with one another.

Hidden glances, lingering touches. As the matchmaker of the group, she’s seen it dozens of times before. She knows the signs.

But she’s no fool. Her “mother” didn’t raise her to be one. The three of you are, in the most polite way possible, mentally fucked. It’s hard not to be, after 70 years are absolute shit. And that makes relationships more difficult and complicated than they already are.

Natasha makes a mental note that she’ll share with Wanda later.

The moment you turn and spot the group, your little trio freezes. You and Bucky go silent, though you’re still trying to hide occasional chuckles as he elbows Steve. The blond is mostly unaffected, though his smile cools a bit.

“Vis helped make sandwiches,” Wanda says, breaking the tense silence. “Come and try them.”

You oblige, taking one from the tray and sitting on a barstool. You leave one stool of space between you and Sam and tuck your wings close to your body, hoping to not trip anyone.

The Falcon leans in as conversation continues.

“Hey,” he whispers conspiratorially. You tilt your head. “Barton and I were wondering if you’d want to join the Bird Squad.”

The what? The look of confusion on your face has Sam explaining.

“You know, I’m the Falcon, he’s Hawkeye. You don’t have a bird-themed name, but hey, I think the wings are more than enough for you to qualify.”

Grinning at his antics, you nod. “Okay, yeah. Yeah, I’ll join the…”

“Bird Squad,” he says.

“The Bird Squad,” you finish. Bucky comes over just then, raising a brow at the man next to you.

“Please stop with the bird puns. The bird-patterned socks were bad enough,” he groans. Bucky takes the seat between you two nonetheless. He offers you the olives from the toothpick in his sandwich. You trade them for the crust off yours.

Next to Tony, Steve waits for the billionaire to speak first. The two can rarely ever talk without arguing, but he’s more than willing to try. For the team, if not for himself.

“I know we joke about you guys being old, but physically, how old are you actually?” Tony asks. He’s watching you peel the crust from your sandwich.

Steve huffs, calculating. “I turn 31 this year, and those two… Well, we don’t know how long they were in cryo between… missions.” He glances at you and Bucky. “She was 27 and he was 28 when they went under.”

The blond can’t read Tony’s expression as he nods, simply taking another sip of coffee. Steve takes it as a sign he’s done talking.

Circling around the counter and sitting on the other side of him, you offer a smile before passing an olive to him. He takes it gratefully.

Peter, apparently done eating, bounces out of his chair and hops on top of the counter in front of you. He immediately starts talking a mile a minute.

“Okay, this might be a weird question and you can totally say no, I don’t wanna make you uncomfortable or anything, I’m just really curious, but can I see your powers? It’s just, Ned- that’s my best friend- has been asking about how they work since he’s really interested in the physics of them and I just never have an answer and I feel bad-”

To stop him from losing his breath, you hold out your hand, summoning a small ball of light. You’ve been trying to keep your powers to a minimum here. You know better than most how destructive they can be, and the last thing you want to do is wreck the compound.

But a small, floating ball of light won’t do any damage. Strangely, it’s not even hot. The teen pokes at it, alarmed when his hand passes right through.

“Wait, if you can make solid objects with it, why is this…?” With a flick of your wrist, you feel the light change.

“It’s almost like changing the density,” you explain. “You probably understand it better than I ever will. I just know that it works.” When Peter touches the light again, it’s solid. You toss it, watching as it dissipates in the air.

He’s amazed, gaping for a few seconds before gathering himself, thanking you, and hurrying off to call his friend back. You lift up your hand again, allowing the light to flow and wisp-like smoke. Peter’s reaction makes you feel a bit better about your powers. He wasn’t scared, just curious.

“I told you,” Bucky quips. “Your powers aren’t something to be disgusted by.”

Huffing, you point to his left arm. “Then neither is that,” you counter.

“No, this is different.” The metal plates shift and rearrange with his movements. Steve watches, mesmerized by them. As horrible as its origin was, the intricate design of the prosthetic was something beautiful.

He says so, but Bucky shakes his head. You frown.

“Maybe if it wasn’t in so much pain all the time, you’d be able to feel a bit better about it. Just let me soothe the nerves, even just for a little bit,” you plead. Lowering your voice, you cut off his racing thoughts. “You don’t deserve to be in pain.”

Bucky considers your words. He shrugs, but doesn’t refuse. He watches you smile, quite literally lighting up the room.

Steve chuckles as the lights flicker, grabbing your empty plates and tossing them in the sink.

“I was thinking we could head into Brooklyn,” he suggests. “Our museum is open, so I figured we could stop by there and look through.”

He thinks for a moment, then nods to you. “Maybe you’ll finally open that lockbox and let the world in on whatever’s inside.”

The world? You know he means the news, the people that read about you. But those letters in there are for him and Bucky only.

To be fair, they are your whole world.

———————————————————————

People weren’t as invasive and nosy when they were wandering around your museum, you find. They seem more respectful as you wander the exhibits, trying to piece together your past.

The memories have been coming easier, but they still feel so distant. Like dreams, or a lingering sense of deja vu.

There are dozens of pictures lining the walls, descriptions neatly written below them. The three of you talking around a campfire, Steve and Bucky at the fair, a younger you proudly holding up a 1st place trophy, front teeth missing and a tiny bow clenched in your fist.

You trace your hands over them, mesmerized by how happy you look. You look lighter, softer. Not bearing a literal weight on your shoulders and eyes that always seem a bit sad.

Steve walks up behind you, following your wistful gaze as you soak up each photo and try to place it in your memories.

“Hey,” he says. You smile, so warm and so familiar that Steve’s knees almost buckle. “You like the museum?”

“It’s great,” you say, following the pictures around to a replica of your shared apartment. “Helps with the memories.” The couch catches your eye. With a bit of focus, some moments in time push through the fog.

Lazy nights when you three were too tired to move, instead piling on the couch and sleeping there. Camping out there when Steve was sick and you gave him the bed. Bucky coming home that day that started the end of it all.

Slowly, not wanting to overstep, Steve wraps an arm around your shoulders, carefully navigating past your wings. You lean into his touch, sniffling a bit when Bucky joins you two, also staring at the battered couch.

One particular memory comes to mind. And you begin to hum.

You can’t remember the exact words, but you try your best as you begin to sway.

“It’s been a long, long time… Haven’t felt like this, my dear, since can’t remember when…”

Dancing. You three spent more money than you could afford on records for your little apartment, and after Sunday dinner it was your tradition to try and teach Steve to dance.

What you’re doing now is little more than shifting your weight. But it means the world to you and your boys. It means that you’re remembering. Bucky joins in humming, making his way through the refrain before trailing off.

“You said you’ve got a record player, didn’t you, Stevie?” he asks. Steve nods and begins talking about some of the older records he has when a particular glass case catches your eye.

Your lockbox. Behind the 4-inch bulletproof glass, the small box sits with its key placed beside it. You crouch to read the description.

‘In the final days before her disappearance, Agent (Y/N) (L/N) wrote what is estimated to be around a dozen letters and stored them in this box. While other letters she wrote were left out, no one knows what lies within the small cherry-wood box. Out of respect, it remains locked to this day.’

A picture of you sits beside the paragraph. Bow slung over your shoulder and dressed in your uniform, you stand tall and proud. Catching a glimpse of your reflection in the glass, you immediately shake your head to dissipate the lingering thoughts.

A woman steps up beside you. From the way she’s dressed and the keys in her pocket, you figure she works the museum. Your guess is confirmed when she gestures to the box.

“We were wondering when you’d stop by,” she says. “Anything here of yours that you want, just ask. We’re here to help in any way we can.” You smile gratefully, thanking her before glancing back at the box.

“Could I…?” The woman nods and wordlessly unlocks the case. She lifts your box with all the care in the world, handing it to you and wishing you well before whisking off.

Steve and Bucky catch up to you, spotting the box.

“They let you take it?” The former asks.

Holding it up, you grin. “Yeah. Guess they missed their timeframe on finding out what’s inside.”

“Will you tell us?” Bucky leans in, gently elbowing you.

Even thinking about the letters makes you blush. In your grief the days after their “deaths”, you’d poured every thought onto paper. The openness that you know lies on the pages sends embarrassment creeping under your skin.

“Maybe,” you finally say, tucking the box under your arm and stowing the key in your pocket. They both shrug, not pushing further, and move on to the next exhibit.

It’s an hour later when you leave, avoiding reporters and paparazzi as you clutch the lockbox close to your body. Making it back to the compound and into your room is much easier, though you still haven’t opened the box.

Steve and Bucky ran down to the kitchen to bug Sam, and in the meantime, you’ve been staring at it. The key is in your hand, the box is on your bed.

Since you’ve gotten home, you’ve showered, changed into pajamas, checked the news, and watched an episode of new show that caught your eye.

But you’re scared. You’ve already felt… that feeling lately. You fear that, if you open the box and reread the letters inside, it’ll only be intensified.

A part of HYDRA’s process was breaking you down into a weapon. To them, you weren’t a person capable of giving or receiving such an emotion. They made you believe it. That you were only good for their missions.

If you open the box, you aren’t sure if you can handle keeping a secret like that from your boys. You aren’t sure if you could handle telling them, either.

They’re all you have left. Losing them through your own actions would destroy you.

Still, you grip the key in your hand, steel your nerves, and unlock the box.

Gently opening it, you blow away the dust coating the old paper before carefully lifting the stack of letters and setting them on your bed. You grab one, unfolding it and hyping yourself up before reading the first words.

‘Dear Steve Rogers and James Barnes,

This is the fourth letter I’ve written. Without either of you, there isn’t much else to do except think and write. And I’ve been doing a lot of both. There are plenty of things I wish I’d told you, but before everything else, I wish that I had told you I love you. Yes, still. And while I can’t tell you when it started, a part of me feels like it’s always been there. Like a fact of life I’ve lived with ever since that day on the playground.

I don’t think telling you would’ve changed how things went. Maybe you two would’ve been more careful if we’d had more to lose. But I’m so tired of entertaining what-if questions, so I’ll deal with that thought down for another time.

Missing you feels like too weak of a word to describe what I feel. You’ve been perhaps the only permanent thing in my life. Everything else changes too fast for me to keep up. School, work, whatever else people worry about now. But you were my constant. The one thing I could rely on. Even if the sun didn’t rise one day, I always thought you’d be there. And now I’m alone.

Steve, you were always so full of energy. Even when sick, you’d always have something to say or a new drawing to work on. I never admitted it, but I loved watching you draw. You had a real talent there. Seeing you become Captain America was the best and worst thing, I think. Knowing that you were healthy, even better than me and Buck, was a weight lifted. But the world doesn’t know you. They aren’t mourning you, they’re mourning their symbol. I can’t forgive them for that.

Bucky, the day you were drafted has always stayed in my mind. You were scared for the first time I can remember, shaking on our couch that I can’t go back to. I can’t go back to that apartment alone. I'll always remember the late nights in the kitchen, when Steve would go to bed early and you’d tell me all about some new scientific discovery or invention that you’d read about. The world doesn’t talk about that part of you.

I can hear Peggy and the other Commandos talking. They’re worried about me, I think. I can’t blame them. I sleep more than I ever have, write, and take dinner in my tent. Colonel Phillips hasn’t said anything yet.

The world is moving on without us. I may not be dead, but I think after losing you, I’m not completely alive.’

Sniffling, you wipe your eyes and fold the letter back up, setting it in the box along with the others. You remember bits and pieces of the time after they “died”, and true to the letter, you’d spiraled in the remaining weeks before you’d caved.

A knock on your door.

“Come in,” you call. With your feet dangling off the bed, you don’t need to sit up to know the two sets of footsteps.

The sun hangs low in the sky, and even at the end of the day the compound bustles with agents and doctors. You yawn, stretching your muscles. You’ve found that your energy levels tend to rise and fall with the sun.

Even though it’s early, Steve and Bucky are more than willing to turn in for the night. A lazy night in is far more appealing than watching more news on the Avengers and the Accords, and dinner could be ordered in without much fuss.

“Are you done for the day?” the blond asks, sitting beside you. Bucky moves the throw pillows from the bed, tossing them around the room with no regards to where they land.

You shrug. “I want to go help clean up after dinner, don’t wanna leave Wanda to do it on her own.”

“Wanda can move things with her mind, I think she’ll be okay with doing the dishes for one night.” Scooping you up while Bucky throws the covers back, he unceremoniously dumps you onto the plush bed as you shriek.

Reaching over to grab a pillow, you swat at him, only to receive a pillow to the face from the brunet behind you. Before it devolves into a full-on pillow war, you raise your hands in truce, laying down to catch your breath.

Your boys follow suit, laying down with you. You tuck your wings in, wrapping them around yourself on both sides like the fluffiest blanket you’ve ever touched.

“This is nice,” Bucky mumbles into the blankets. You nod, closing your eyes to avoid facing just how close they are. Normally you wouldn’t mind. But you blush easily, and something like that would raise questions.

You listen as Steve calls in a pizza, followed by another call of him asking Vision to pick it up, seeing as he was the fastest one in the compound. Poking at a stray feather, you blink hazily in the golden light.

The food arrives minutes later, and you finish the pizza just as the sun starts to graze the treeline. Steve and Bucky get ready for bed as you turn on the TV and collect some more blankets, only increasing the growing pile on the bed. The cold doesn’t bring good memories to any of you.

Once you finish, you lightly pat the bed, gesturing for Bucky to sit.

“You said you’d let me work your shoulder,” you remind him, tone stern. Steve helps you, tugging your friend in front of you. He sits in front of him, making sure he doesn’t try to start another pillow fight.

“You don’t have to do this,” Bucky says to both of you. Your responses are the same.

“I know.”

You can feel the warmth of your healing radiating from your hand. “You ready?” you ask. Steve takes his hands, calming him as he takes deep breaths. He nods.

You’ve seen the x-rays. The sketches of the metal arm and exactly how it’s designed. It’s a medical nightmare, put simply.

A titanium limb far outweighed a normal arm, meaning Bucky walked with a tilt, which led to back pain and a constant soreness in his neck muscles. In an attempt to support the heavy prosthetic, HYDRA had poorly grafted the metal onto the surrounding bones, covering parts of his clavicle and sternum.

All of this combined puts him in a world of pain. And now that he’s finally letting you work on it, you wonder how he didn’t break sooner.

The pain radiates from where the metal attaches, searing across his back and up the left side of his head. His muscles are knotted and tense, struggling to receive input from the destroyed nerves.

Bucky’s wincing as you work, trying his best not to shout in pain and relief as your powers mend his invisible wounds. Steve notices, and in an attempt to distract him, taps your lockbox.

“So, you ever gonna tell us what’s in this?” Since he’s facing you, he gets a perfect view of how you turn two shades pinker, fumbling and accidentally brightening the nearby lamp.

You cough, shrugging. “Maybe.” Your tone suddenly becomes a bit sad. “I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready.”

“Ready for…?” Bucky asks.

“Ready for you two to know.” That’s all you say, focusing on soothing the nerves in his neck.

Both Steve's and Bucky’s minds jump to the same thing.

Steve’s known exactly what he’s felt for you two ever since middle school, when he asked his ma if he could be in love with two people at once. Sarah had smiled knowingly, nodded, and watched his little mind run and slowly take in what that meant.

But he never said anything. Bucky started going on dates and you turned your focus on studying, and he’d never found the perfect moment like all his books talked about. No screaming confessions in the rain or dramatic dances at a fancy party. He thought he might find that moment as Captain America, but constant missions made that a bit hard.

All he has is this room, Bucky’s hands in his, and your eyes occasionally meeting his own.

Bucky didn’t realize his feelings until he was taken by HYDRA for the first time. He’d always enjoyed dating around, more for the experience of learning about someone than anything else. Settling with one person when everyone was so different seemed so boring and bland. And then he almost died.

During his capture, he had a lot of time to think. And the only people he could ever see living with for the rest of his life were you two. Sure, it was unorthodox, but so was everything you three did together. Damn all tradition to hell, he swore that, if he got out of that place alive, he’d tell you both. But that never happened. Instead, he got 70 years as a puppet.

All he has is this room, Steve whispering nonsense to calm him down, and your gentle hands mending every source of pain you can find.

“There. All done.” Sitting back, you flick your hands, sending stray tendrils of light flying away.

The sun has long since disappeared, and you can spot a few stars from the window. Going to bed early won’t change the fact that none of you will sleep well. Nightmares always come for at least one of you.

Tonight, you take the middle. Laying on your stomach, Bucky and Steve slide in on both sides as you rest your wings atop them.

For a while, you sit in silence.

Steve breaks it.

“The thing you aren’t ready to tell us, whatever it is, you know we’ll always be here, right?” he asks. You nod immediately. You never doubted that. Not once. You’re scared of how things will change, though.

“I know. Not like you’d ever let us get away,” you laugh.

Bucky hums, content and almost floaty due to the lack of pain. “You’d chase us to the bottom of the ocean, wouldn’t you, punk?”

“Jerk,” Steve huffs, tugging up one of the many blankets.

Eyes fluttering shut, you manage a “Dumbasses” before you slip into sleep.

Making sure you’re not awake, Bucky glances at Steve.

“So, we both know what those letters say?” He knows you well enough that he’s confident in his suspicions.

Steve hesitates, but agrees. “Yeah. A pretty good guess, at least.”

“How do you feel about it?”

“She’s not the only one.”

“Yeah. But we’ll wait.”

“We’ll wait.”

#marvel #marvel x reader #x reader #avengers x reader #avengers #steve rogers #bucky barnes #like the dawn #bucky barnes x winged!reader #bucky barnes x fem!reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky x winged!reader #bucky x f!reader #bucky x reader #steve rogers x winged!reader #steve rogers x fem!reader #steve rogers x reader #stucky x reader

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ithebookhoarder · 2 years

Note

Hi! I was wondering if you could something where the reader is clint’s daughter and dating kate bishop? clint doesn’t know until kate takes him there to stay safe from the tracksuits. thanks!

Never meet your heroes (Kate Bishop x Barton!Reader)

A/N: Just so you know, I have changed the timeline a tiny bit for this episode (episode 2), so Kate doesn’t go back to the apartment straight away after the auction, but oh well… I'm sure you'll forgive me. ❤️ I loved writing this one so much!

Masterlist:

Y/N [8:45 PM]: Hey. So. Show was awful Calling it quits before 2nd act starts. Gonna grab dinner and head to yours after. Hope you have fun tonight… can’t wait to see you again. I’ll bring egg rolls!

Kate 🏹 [8:47 PM]: 😋 You’re amazing - did you know that? Have fun and wish me luck 🤞

Y/N [8:48 PM]: Good luck! And try not to start anything with Armaund. Not in the mood to bail you out tonight 😆

Kate 🏹 [8:49 PM]: … no promises …

Y/N [8:50 PM]: 🙄 You’re lucky you’re cute

Kate 🏹 [8:50 PM]: 😉

Y/N [10:14 PM]: Just got back - let myself in with the key. How’s party going? Hope you’re hungry btw. Brought wayyyy too many egg rolls, and some leftovers the owners gave us.

You stared at your phone as you watched the message send.

On one hand you knew it was probably pointless to text your girlfriend, given that she was due home any minute - or so the clock in the kitchen kept telling you. Still, part of you felt odd being in Kate’s apartment alone, with only leftover egg rolls for company. The place felt oddly empty without her in it, and sure… you were being sappy, but in all honesty you were missing her.

It was your last night together, until after the holidays were over and you were back at school together. You couldn’t wait to sit by the weird looking Christmas tree you’d insisted she erect and open the presents you’d both brought. It was a mini Christmas before you both separated to spend the actual day with your families.

Still, you couldn’t exactly be mad when you’d been the one to tell Kate to go to her mom’s company holiday party. You’d had plans of your own tonight, and were meant to be home later than you’d ended up being. It hadn’t made sense for Kate to simply sit around in the apartment waiting for you. Not when this party meant a lot to her mom - so you’d told her to go, that you could meet up after and spend the night together before you met up with your family in the morning.

After all, you knew things were strained between Kate and her mom and tonight would be a good gesture to help make things better between them. Then again, most parents would be pretty pissed if their child destroyed a historic college relic, in the pursuit of a bet… It was only natural that her mom was mad - hell your parents would have been too, if they’d found out your part in the whole scheme that resulted in the collapse of the bell tower.

Thankfully, Kate - the saint that she was - had insisted she take the fall for you and your other conspirators. As she put it: ‘she had enough money to get herself out of it’. Even if it was true it had felt a bit wrong to let her go ahead with her martyrdom, but that was your girlfriend; she was stubborn and loyal and there was no convincing her otherwise once she dug her heels in.

Ah, Kate Bishop… you’d never met anyone like her.

It had been a hectic whirlwind of a relationship since you’d met, back during your first few weeks at college.

In some ways, it had been fate drawing you two together, what with you both being the only two new students having signed up to the archery team’s trial day. It was rare enough that there were colleges that actually had the sport hosted, let alone that there would be new students as keen as you to try out… and that they’d be half as good too - and given the fact you’d been trained by Hawkeye himself, that was saying something.

Speaking of your dad, however, you knew Kate admired him - scratch that, idolised him. However, you were used to giving people a false last name out of habit; it was your parent’s way of keeping you safe and distanced from everything, especially after the whole HYDRA incident had seen most of SHIELD’s intelligence splashed across the internet for anyone to see. All it took was one click and some decent wifi for people to figure out that the name Barton tied you to an Avenger.

So, you couldn’t exactly be blamed for not being 100% honest with Kate about who you really were.

As she’d stuck her hand out that first day and introduced herself, you’d taken it, and replied with your own name.

“Y/N. Y/N L/N.”

So you’d used your Mom’s maiden name. It wasn’t a big deal at first, given that you were team mates, and then friends quickly after. But when you finally made the move into girlfriend territory… well, you’d be lying if you didn’t say you felt incredibly guilty.

You kept meaning to tell her, but the longer things went on the weirder and more awkward the idea became. How did one tell their girlfriend that they’d lied about their identity? And that their childhood hero - who they raved about on a daily basis - was the same man who potty trained you?

Like it or not, you’d dug yourself a hole - one you’d spent the last few weeks trying to plan a way out of.

You were still digging when Kate used the bell tower incident as an excuse to ask you to come spend a week or so with her at her place - away from dorm mates, angry parents, and all the other distractions that came with college life. Here, in this apartment, you were in a safe bubble.

At first, the idea of a week in New York seemed perfect given that your dad had talked about taking you and your siblings to the city for a couple days, so that you could finally use the tickets he’d been sent for the new broadway show - Rodgers: The Musical. You could meet up with them, see the show, and then fly home for the holidays as planned.

On the other hand, it also meant you had a chance to finally come clean to Kate - especially given how honest she’d been about everything in her life at the moment. Being alone together, for a week, meant you didn’t have an excuse… well, you said that yet here you were, the night before you were meant to fly home, looking for a strong bottle of tequila to down before Kate got home and you decided to drop that little nugget of information.

“Damn it.”

You sighed.

You reached into the cupboard to retrieve one of the two glasses that sat in Kate’s apartment, before making yourself comfy on the couch, your rapidly cooling egg rolls in hand. Pulling the cork from the top of the bottle, you helped yourself to a slightly generous shot of the only liquor you’d been able to find.

The familiar burn was comforting as you downed it.

“Could have used one of these earlier,” you muttered, reaching to pour another one. “Show seemed to last forever.”

It really had - who knew a musical about the Avengers could be so painful to sit through? Then again, you knew it wasn’t entirely down the cheesy lyrics or irritatingly catchy tunes. No. Your dad’s sudden deterioration at the entrance of the actress portraying Natasha was indicative of the sudden nausea you had also felt at seeing your aunt’s likeness singing and dancing about… your palms had gone sweaty, and it took all the strength you had to make your shaking legs co-operate as you’d risen from your seat and hurried after him.

To be honest, you’d been grateful to have an excuse to leave.

You shot your brothers and sister a look as you ushered them out of the theatre, and after your dad.

You didn’t even have to ask to know they weren’t ok… neither was your dad. After all, you felt the loss aching from within, and you’d known her a fraction of time compared to him. Hell, Aunt Nat had been family and there were some wounds time wouldn’t heal, or at least, not completely.

Until then, you had egg rolls, tequila, and a girlfriend to help fill the void inside.

Speaking of, your dad (and siblings) had naturally been curious about your relationship. They’d basically spent most of dinner badgering you about her, and even as you’d hailed a taxi to take you back to hers for the night.

Standing on the street, the icy night air nipping at you all, you’d thought you’d be safe from the interrogation even for a moment. The fact you dad had chosen to stand there, rather than back inside the warm restaurant, said he was more than intrigued - and still as protective as he’d always been. There was no way in hell he’d let you stand outside on your own, even if you were now 22.

“I’m just saying, if you don’t let us meet her soon, your brother and sisters are going to think she’s fake.”

“A fake girlfriend? Seriously?”

Your dad shrugged, mischief clear in his eyes. “Can you blame them? Even your mom and I are starting to think you’ve gone a little loopy, in that dorm room, all by yourself, imaging a girlfriend to keep you company - ”

“Dad!”

“What?”

“You’re ridiculous.”

“And yet you love me,” he grinned, knowing it was all too true.

Your smile gave it away, even if you were doing your best to look mock-angry at his line of questioning. At this rate, it was going to be a long couple of weeks.

“I’m only asking. When do I get to meet this ‘very real’ girlfriend of yours, huh?”

“Dad,” you whined, hating the fact that you were a fully grown adult that still blushed when her parents talked about your love life. “We’ve only been going out a little while and I don’t want to rush it, you know. Maybe next time? After Spring break?”

And after I tell her who you are, you added mentally.

“You said that before, honey,” he teased. “I just want to meet the girl you’ve spent your entire college experience raving about, that’s all. Shoot me. I’m your dad. It’s my job to be annoying and curious.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

“Besides, we both know eventually your mom will just end up finding her on Facebook or something and have the poor kid over for dinner anyway. You know what she’s like.”

“I’ll tell her you said that.”

“And after I brought you Chinese food?” He gasped theatrically, laughing as you rolled your eyes. “Such a traitor, jeez.”

It was then that a cab finally noticed your hand sticking out in the road, and pulled up at the kerb.

“Saved by the cab.”

“You can run but you can’t hide for long, child of mine,” he teased, pulling you in to one last hug. It didn’t matter how old you got, he still would always see you as his baby, and you were honestly ok with that - as long as you got his hugs. They were pretty special. “So, we’ll meet you tomorrow morning? At the hotel?”

“You got it.”

He pressed a kiss to your forehead before reaching over to open the cab door. “Great. Love you.”

“Love you too,” you echoed as you slid in and closed the door behind you. You shot him a final wave as you gave the driver the address and pulled away into the steady flow of traffic.

And now you were here. Alone in Kate’s apartment. Waiting… watching the clock…

Y/N [11:25 PM]: What time did you say you’d be back again? xx Thought you said 10:30? Is everything ok?

Y/N [11:27 PM]: OK. KATE. SAW NEWS. WTF. YOU OK?

Y/N [11:27 PM]: Ninjas? Really? At a holiday party?! I can’t even with this city anymore

Y/N [11:28 PM]: Seriously Kate. You good? Call me, please. I’m worried about you.

It was probably an hour after your last text that you finally heard the door opening below. Worried sick, you’d curled yourself up in Kate’s bed, staring at your phone and waiting for some kind of signal that your girlfriend was alright.

It was safe to say the tequila was mostly gone, as were the egg rolls - stupid stress eating, a trait you’d inherited from your father, of all people.

Still, you had never felt relief like it before when you heard the door open and voices echoing up from below. It was probably why you were too busy to notice the fact that there were voices - plural - and not just Kate’s.

Instead, you were too busy tossing back the covers and running down the stairs to see for yourself whether she was in one piece or not.

“Oh thank god!”

“Y/N? That you?”

“Katherine Bishop! You asshole. You had me worried sick. I swear to god, the next time you go to a hijacked holiday party and don’t answer your god damned phone I’ll-”

However, you’d barely made it off the bottom step when you saw that she wasn’t alone.

Oh no.

Dressed in an outfit that was horrifyingly familiar, she had somehow managed to bring home two extra guests. One canine and the other the very last person you’d ever have expected to come through the door…

“Dad?”

The word was off your lips before you could fully understand what was happening, or who exactly it was standing in front of you in your girlfriend’s apartment.

How much tequila had you drunk again? You had to be hallucinating.

“Dad?” Kate repeated blankly, dropping her rucksack in surprise. “What-? Did you-? Dad?”

“Y/n?”

“Dad, what are you doing here?”

“That was about to be my question, young lady.”

“Oh my god.”

“I’m sorry. Can we circle back to the part where you just called him dad?”

The whole thing was a tangled chorus of questions and pointed fingers as you all stared back and forth between the four of you. Well, the dog didn’t so much point as whine and tilt his head, but the meaning was pretty much the same.

What was happening here?

“I’m at my girlfriend’s apartment - like I said I’d be,” you finally stammered, feeling oddly defensive. Then again, that was probably due to the fact you were wearing one of her oversized sweatshirts, and not much else. Thank god it came down to your knees. “This is Kate. Kate my girlfriend, so what the hell are you doing here? And where have you been?”

You skipped Kate’s shock, putting a pin in it for the more pressing matter at hand. Sure, you hurried over and pressed a hasty kiss against her cheek, relieved she was back and in one piece. However, there were bigger issues to handle first - including the dog who was currently licking at your hand.

That and the fact Kate was wearing your dad’s Ronin suit - something you never thought you’d see again.

“Wait. Kate? As in, your Kate?”

At that, Kate smirked, looking both amused and offended all at once. “Your Kate? Aw… that’s cute, but um, I’m me. Kate. My Kate. As in, me is Kate. I belong to myself.”

“Getting that, Tarzan.”

“Dad!” you groaned.

This night couldn’t get any more awkward.

How had it gone from Kate spending the evening at a company Christmas holiday party, to this?

No no no. This wasn’t happening. Not like this… You’d had this day planned out in your head. When you’d finally got around to introducing Kate to your parents you had pictured it involving dinner at your house, sunshine, beers, you wearing pants - and Kate already knowing the biggest secret you’d been keeping.

Fuck.

“Uh, ok. Wow. Can we just - rewind here,” Kate choked, a bewildered look on her face. “I - You - sorry. Y/N? You said your last name was L/N. Not Barton. As in Y/N L/N, not Y/N ‘my dad is an avenger Barton’.”

Double fuck.

“It’s uh… technically, it’s my my mom’s maiden name,” you stammered. “My legal name on paperwork at school is Barton, but I go by L/N most of the time so people don’t put two and two together, you know? It’s habit and I didn’t think anything of it when we first met but then things got complicated between us, and I didn’t know how to bring it up.”

“Bring it up? That your dad is an avenger? You didn’t think of slipping that in a conversation?”

“I didn’t want people to treat me differently.”

“So, Instead, you just let me ramble on and on like an idiot about how much I admired him and about my parents-“

“I know,” you whined, feeling yourself turning an ungodly shade of red. “I was going to tell you Kate, tonight in fact. I would have told you this week but things were just so great between us and I didn’t want to mess it up by telling you I’d lied to you.”

“Well, hate to break it to you, but the cat’s out of the bag now.”

“Dog, actually,” your dad chimed, as the puppy woofed loudly - as if on cue. He clearly objected to being excluded from the conversation. “And I’m sorry, but this little domestic drama you two have got going on here is going to have to wait until Miss Bishop gives me what I came for and explains what the hell happened back there tonight.”

So she was now Miss Bishop? Yikes. That sounded even more strange coming from his mouth than you’d expected, and that was saying something.

Why did you feel like a five year old who’d been caught with her hand in the cookie jar? You hadn’t technically done anything wrong here - not to your dad, that was. Kate was a whole other issue, as was the secret that you knew she would be grilling you over for the rest of the night, if she didn’t kick you out and break up with your first, that was.

Given how this was going so far, you couldn’t be sure that wouldn’t be the outcome.

“What? The suit?” Kate finally managed to ask, staring down at the ninja-like attire she was wearing. “Oh… sure… right. One second.”

She shot you a look before nodding.

“I’ll be right back…”

With that, she turned and began to disappear up the stairs, muttering all the while to herself about the fact Hawkeye was in her apartment. THE Hawkeye… and that you, her girlfriend, were Hawkeye’s daughter …

You were never going to live this down.

“Where did you get the suit?” your dad asked, somehow knowing it was best to break the ice and handle one issue at a time. The look he gave you was very much his ‘we’ll talk more about this later’ look. You knew it well from your more rebellious days a kid.

“From a black market auction.”

Kate’s answer stumped you. Screw your conversation with your dad, it seemed you and Kate had a lot to talk about later too. “Excuse me?”

“You bought it?”

“Nah, not exactly,” Kate continued.

“So what did you do in this suit?”

“I beat some guys up. Saved the dog. A little light B&E.”

Your dad groaned. “Jesus.”

At least that explained the dog. That didn’t explain how Kate had found a black market auction, or got herself into so much trouble in the span of six hours. Then again, this was Kate, she often had a way of surprising you and sniffing out trouble.

First the bell tower, now this… yeah, no wonder your dad looked rightly concerned by everything. “A 22 year old vigilante? Shouldn’t you be in school?”

You winced. “Funny you should ask…”

Thankfully, your dad didn’t hear you. Instead, he was distracted by Kate scurrying back down the stairs, suit in one hand, bow in the other. She also had snagged you a pair of sweats, which you gratefully took and slid on, ignoring the way your dad’s eyes hastily focused on Kate and away from you changing.

This felt like a conversation you needed pants for.

“So, now that I’ve answered all of your questions, I have so many for you - both of you - starting with, can you sign this?”

You laughed.

You couldn’t help it. Good lord. Of course she asked - no wonder you loved this goofball. After everything, this was what she chose to ask first. Not how you could keep this from her? Or how your dad happened to be in the city? Or what had happened tonight? But, could he sign her bow?

“We’re not done yet.”

“But when we are, can you sign my bow? You’re kind of my favourite avenger.”

Yep. She was adorable.

You noticed the way your dad’s eyebrow raised, as if trying to separate the fact this was your girlfriend from whatever was going on here. Otherwise, you knew he’d be weirdly flattered, and would count it as a point in her favour - even if he hated the whole Avengers thing most of the time.

“Are you ok, by the way?”

“That was about to be my next question,” you interjected, gesturing to the various cuts and bruises Kate seemed to be sporting on her face. “Jesus, Kate. You look like you went twenty rounds with a tiger. I know we have a first aid kit around here somewhere -”

“Oh god, I’m fine,” Kate smiled hastily. She was quick to flash a smirk in your direction as she bragged, “You should’ve seen the other guys.”

Your dad rolled his eyes. “I did. Tracksuit mafia.”

“That’s their name?”

“Yes, Y/N,” he sighed, clearly uncomfortable with this whole situation.

“That’s a little on the nose, don’t you think?”

“Do you think they’re the ones who killed my mom’s fiancé’s uncle?”

“I’m sorry, what?” you choked. It was your turn to be the party in the dark here. Shit, who knew holiday parties in New York were so dangerous? - something your dad seemed to also be thinking. That, and that rich people were seriously weird. Who named all their kids Armaund?

“Your mom’s fiancé’s uncle?”

“Yeah, Armaund III… of at least seven.”

“I… I do not know.” It looked like there was a lot he didn't know and he didn't have an idea how to start addressing it either.

God, your mom was going to milk this story for the entire winter break at this rate.

He sighed. “What I need to know is if anybody saw your face.”

“No. Kept the mask on like a pro.”

“Ok, cause the person who wore this suit had a whole lot of enemies.”

You felt your stomach drop. Whilst you didn’t know everything about the time during the snap, your parents had filled you in on enough. Enough that you knew to be careful and that there were still dangers out there for your family - hence your use of your mother’s maiden name.

“-the tracksuits were just one of them.”

“That doesn’t sound good.”

“You told nobody about this suit?”

“No, just you and now Y/N.”

“There’s no way you’re connected to this suit whatsoever?”

“No.”

“I need you to be sure.”

“I am.”

“Certain?”

“I am.”

“Really? Because you now have my daughter involved here too, Miss Bishop, and I don’t take my family’s safety lightly. Do you understand what I’m saying here?”

You gulped. “Jesus, Dad. The whole, you hurt my daughter, I hurt you speech? What am I? Twelve?”

It seemed to have got through to Kate, however, given the sudden palour of her face. “Yes, Hawkeye, I mean, yes sir. I mean, yes. I… I do.”

“Well, the tracksuits must have followed you from the auction, where I found you. Did you stop anywhere before that?”

“No, I ran into you and we’ve come here. That’s it.”

You stopped.

Wait. If someone had been tracking her then, did that mean that they’d -

“Hey! Kate Bishop!”

A gruff shout from the street below told you everything you needed to know. Yes, was the answer. Yes, they had been followed, and yes, the mafia were here.

Kate paused. “Now is probably a bad time to mention that my name is also on the buzzer…”

“Shit.”

That was an understatement.

Somehow, it seemed that your fears had been answered - this night had indeed, got worse.

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night-minstrel · 9 months

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Okay, so my today went like:

1) I made myself tea around 11 am and took it to my room thinking I'll spend most of my day there

2) managed to spend like 9 hours in the kitchen and completely forget about my tea

3) remembered it randomly after finishing all the things in the kitchen

4) took the first sip at 8 pm

I'm honestly surprised that I didn't even spend enough time in my room to drink my tea, usually I sit there for a whole day

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obeymeluv · 3 years

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The Baby Assignment [Lucifer]

I have a list of actual headcanons for demon baby behaviors, but this is not that post.

You and the boys have a baby! (sort of).

You should’ve never told Diavolo about how high schools used to have practice baby classes.

Note: most of the genders and children come from “The Bros as Dads” post.

Cut me some slack on the names. I didn’t really have them planned, haha.

Lucifer:

Extremely skeptical. This whole assignment depends on you two standing in a summoning circle and--in a flash of light there’s a KID in the middle of the floor.

It’s a GIRL!

This triggers his demon form on reflex because he’s startled and can’t help but have flashbacks of Lilith. You’re cooing to the little girl and Lucifer feels breathless as he takes in her hair (it’s his) and those big eyes (they’re yours)

His wings flap a few times before pressing close to his body. This has caught the baby’s attention and she’s staring at him with more intelligence than a child should have.

The professor says the child will grow exponentially over the next week or so and she should be able to deliver a report on how competent you are as parents. Their developmental age will be assessed and factored in as part of the grade.

You walk carefully over to Lucifer, eyes shining and a tiny fist in your hand and oh Diavolo, he wants this child to be real right then and there!

The naming doesn’t happen until you’re back at the House of Lamentation with a massive magical trunk that will spawn child necessities. You sit in his study as the baby looks around and points to things. You name them off.

You’re in the middle of walking her over to look at his records and watching her slap things on the shelf, trying to feel them with her fingers, when he gets the idea to name her after one of the human composers he knows (”Marianna.”)

You honestly thought the addition of a literal child would throw Lucifer off but he’s prepared. It’s only then you realize he’s been alive for thousands of years and helped raise the other six people in the house

Enjoy your view of Lucifer wearing a baby sling for the first three days because unless you have a real kid together, this is the only time you’ll see it

The two of you work on a schedule and carve out time to teach the child on top of your other duties. Sometimes you’re hooked up to the sling, sometimes it’s him. He gets a kick out of seeing you tote the kid around and usually catches you tickling her feet.

Diavolo graciously lightens up on Lucifer’s paperwork load (BY A LOT!) in exchange for seeing the child and playing with them

Most of her facial expressions take after Lucifer’s and Diavolo is BEYOND amused

After day 3, Marianna gets distressed seeing Lucifer sit so long, so she’ll toddle you to Lucifer and just points until you do something about it

100% a daddy’s girl and Lucifer has a hard time keeping his pride in check. It’s coming off of him in waves

She says her first words between day 4 and day 5 and Lucifer wants to cry (he does) because the first one is “daddy”

From day 5 on it’s a constant fight to keep her close because the bros want to smother her for being so cute and are bugging her to say their names

Marianna is partial to Satan and Lucifer is secretly glad. Satan acts all smug about it.

She has Lucifer’s insistency for perfection. Mammon was messing with her tea party set up and she bit him for moving her plate in the wrong spot. That was day 6 and she had her pointy baby demon teeth. Marianna got a little whisper scolding that Mammon would’ve died for BECAUSE SHE GETS KISSES WHILE SHE’S GETTING SCOLDED? FOR REAL?! HE GETS STRUNG UPSIDE DOWN!

Marianna hates being fussed over and likes to dress herself. Whatever you or Lucifer fix, she undoes when your back is turned.

One of her favorite hobbies is sitting on Lucifer’s lap and practicing her handwriting. She also likes to brush his feathers. Marianna asks to sleep in them and will try to hide from you in them. The giggles give her away.

By day 7 she has the intelligence of (at least) a 6 year old and has velvety nubs for horns. You learned that demons like to rub their horns against hard surfaces (or loved ones) as scenting and for their growth.

She accidentally scratches you up, not quite understanding you’re human, and goes into an absolute meltdown. She didn’t mean to hurt you.

Goes into a freaking rage when anyone tries to fix you up. Wants to do it herself. This kid is a literal puddle of apologies, please hold her.

She cuddles you for the rest of that day and officially gets her own little desk beside Lucifer on day 8. Marianna pretends to write her own letters but mostly draws. Bugs Lucifer with the random stuff Satan and Levi teaches her but he doesn’t mind.

You’d bring them snacks every now and then and sometimes you’d hear them singing together (ever so quietly). You didn’t know Lucifer could sing.

Lucifer has woken up with a fist in his face, accidentally been punched in the eye, and has been kicked away at least once since she was big enough to sleep in the bed. She takes after Lucifer in the way that she needs you behind closed doors. Marianna doesn’t sleep unless she can feel both of you next to her.

Lucifer officially has bragging rights about sleeping with you (even if he won’t pull that). Secretly gets the best sleep of his life. Really starting to feel the parent thing. A kid with you would be nice.

Marianna gets little fluffs for wings on day 9 and they “air box” when she’s angry. She demands back scratches for how dry and itchy the feel and you figure out she purrs like Lucifer.

She doesn’t always prank Lucifer but when she does, she hides his pens and makes him play hide and seek with her to get them back

Marianna likes to help out in the kitchen and loves setting the table. She gets mad if anyone messes with the napkin folds you guys practice. She makes a tiny Lucifer screech when Asmo gets obnoxious with taking pictures for Devilgram and Mammon nearly breaks his chair trying to run out of it. She laughs like you.

Around day 10 she insists on a family day and Lucifer has this sinking feeling in his gut that she knows she won’t be around much longer. Maybe it’s a side effect of the spell. The two of you spend the day running around the Devildom taking lots of pictures. Diavolo crashes a few of those pictures.

She spends day 11 burning the midnight oil with Lucifer. Around 9 PM he’s trying to send her to bed. Marianna just drags a blanket back into his study and snuggles down. He notices all her old pictures and some new ones she’s drawn. “It’s my book,” she tells him.

“Your book?”

“Yep.” she colors in the lines carefully, the finished pages pushed away and much better than her older ones. “It’s for you guys, for when I go away. And for your school.”

On day 12 you bring her back into the class, she’s dressed in similar colors to Lucifer. She wanted to look good for her presentation and she said ‘dad always looks nice’.

Marianna talks through her book, calling back memories of building blocks and playing hide and seek. She’s very proud of the pictures from two days ago. They’re her favorite. She shows off her horns and the “dad roar”.

You and Lucifer walk her to the circle. She stands in it as the spell determines her final age. She’s about 10, pushing the limits for growth as determined by the spell.

“I wasn’t here a long time, but I had fun.” she hands him the book and gives you a much longer hug than Lucifer. You wonder if it’s her way of apologizing for having a favorite even though she was good to both of you. “Maybe I’ll see you again sometime.” she looks up at Lucifer as she hugs him, her chin pressed into his stomach.

“Perhaps.” Lucifer takes on his demon form as the circle starts to glow, flapping one wing at her. She “air boxes” back before disappearing in a puff of smoke.

It’s a quiet, lonely silence. Very cold. There’s a subtle warmth in Lucifer’s embrace as he guides you back to your desk. It was brief, but you see why she likes his hugs.

#Obey me!#Obey me! x Reader #Lucifer x Reader

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dreamescapeswriting · 3 years

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All The Small Things ~ HJS [Request]

WORD COUNT: 5.4K

GENRE: Angsty with a fluff ending, established relationship, jealously

PAIRING: Han Jisung x Fem!Reader

A/N: I hope this is okay for you anon! I didn't want to make it too angsty since it was a softer ending

The train you were sitting on seemed to be taking forever to get to your station, all you wanted to do was get home and crawl into bed beside your boyfriend Jisung. Work had been killing you off all morning, your boss constantly hounding you for doing something that she was supposed to be doing and not you. Your phone continued to ring until you heard Jisung's voicemail play again and you sighed,

"Sungie, I'll be home after you. Leave the door unlocked baby," You said into your phone as you left a message for him, it was no big deal for his phone to be off but you were wanting to talk to him. Hearing his voice after a long day was one of the many things that helped you relax the most. Normally you would beat him home by hours but thanks to the overtime and the train being late it seemed as though you were going to be later than him.

Once you got off the train and began walking home you decided to try and call him again, it was pitch black outside since it was almost 9 at night in the middle of winter but it went straight to answerphone. It wasn't unusual for your calls to go straight to voicemail with Jisung so you didn't question it at all, he was either asleep or so immersed in his work he just turned the phone off.

Deciding not to think about it you decided to walk home while scrolling through your Instagram trying to look busy. You didn't even put a thought into it Jisung not answering until you got home to a cold and empty house at 9 pm. All of the lights were off and it looked like no one had been there since you left at 8 that morning.

"Jisung?" You called out as you kicked off your work heels and slipped into the pair of fluffy bear slippers that were waiting for you but there was no answer. You frowned as you made your way across the floor trying to feel around for a light switch,

"Fuck, it's so cold." You hissed to yourself as you walked to the thermostat and turned it up to a higher setting, you stared around the living room as you flicked the lights on. There was no note from Jisung to say he would be home late, there were no signs of him being there since that morning. Sliding your phone out of your pocket you tried to call him again but it was still going straight to voicemail,

"Hey Jisung, just wondered when you were going to be home. I'll leave the keys out of the door so you can come in. I love you." You hung up and frowned as you looked at your messages, there was nothing there to suggest that you could have been in a fight. The last text you'd gotten from him was,

Going to lunch with the boys! Love you! Which you didn't respond to because your boss was standing over you watching you all of the time. If you were in a fight Jisung would have made it clear, he liked to try and talk things out rather than just leaving everything out in the open. Fights were uncommon in your relationship.

You sighed to yourself before making your way up to the bedroom to try and get some sleep for the night, there was no use waiting up for him when you knew he would be forever in the studio. Slipping into one of his shirts you crawled into the bed and relaxed a little, no work tomorrow or the day after to think about. You had a long weekend off to look forward to, you couldn't wait to spend the weekend curled up next to Jisung as you binged watched a new anime together. It had been the number one thing getting you through the week of hell at work, binge-watching something together. It was something you and Jisung did a lot whenever you got the time because he was always busy. You got to choose what you watched last time and this time it was his decision. Landing on Demon slayer since it was already on your watched list.

The next morning you were woken up to your phone buzzing to itself on the bedside cabinet, rolling over you went to grab it to see who it was only to see Chan's name flashing on the screen. Frowning to yourself you sat up to answer his call. He hardly called you unless it was to try and wake Jisung up for a studio thing or of Jisung was running late to something.

"Jisung isn't here if you're after him." You mumbled as you turned over to see if Jisung was laying beside you but the sheets were cold and empty. So much for binge-watching something together, you pulled the sheets around your body and pouted to yourself waiting for Chan to talk to you.

"No he's at the dorms, I called to tell you to ask if you were coming to dinner..." You frowned as you looked at the time it wasn't dinner time so it wasn't as if you had slept a whole day away. Then you went back to talk through the phone.

"Chan it's 8 am..." You said slowly as though he was confused on what the time was, you knew his sleeping schedule was a little off but you didn't think it was this bad.

"I know but since Hyejin is visiting we're going to have a huge dinner together. Felix and I are shopping for food now so I needed a headcount. Jisung said he would ask..." You frowned even more as you looked through your phone to see if he had text you at all but your phone was empty beside from a text from Felix about cupcakes. He wanted your recipe for your famous birthday cupcakes but text an hour later to tell you it didn't matter.

"Erm...He didn't ask me-" You were cut off by Chan who sounded as though he'd been caught doing or saying something he shouldn't have been.

"I'm sure he was going to, it's tonight at the dorms." He rushed out as he thought of something to say to you but you just hummed at him as you thought back on who Hyejin was. The name sounded so familiar to you but you couldn't place where it was exactly. You just assumed it was one of Jisung's friends from Malaysia that had come to visit him for a while and he'd been so busy catching up he'd forgotten to mention it. He always told you how much he missed his friends and wanted to visit whenever he next could.

"I'll be there, do you want any help with anything?" You knew that cooking for ten people was going to be difficult enough for anybody nevermind just Chan and Felix. The last time they were left alone to cook you spent the day cleaning off burnt food from the bottom of multiple pans.

"No, it's okay Hyejin said she will help cook, she did a cooking degree at university." That was it, Chan said a quick goodbye before hanging up leaving you staring at the wall in front of you. The name still floating around in your head as you tried to picture where you had heard it before.

When you walked into the dorms that night the smell of food hit you like a brick wall, it all smelt so good. The whole dorm was loud with people talking and singing, as well as yelling coming from Felix and Jeongin who were sitting at the table decorating cupcakes.

"Hey!" You turned to your right to see Minho and Seungmin sitting together on the sofa, you took off your shoes and headed over to them.

"Were you banned from the kitchen?" You giggled walking over to them and plopping yourself down in the middle, Seungmin sighed as he nodded along with you. Minho laid his head on your shoulder as you both watched Seungmin playing on the switch,

"I tried to help Felix with the cupcakes but I did it wrong." You pouted as Seungmin turned to look at you with huge puppy-like eyes as if you could do anything to make Felix let him back into the kitchen.

"Why did you get kicked out?" You questioned Minho who was about to answer when someone else did it for him, a female voice coming out from beside you.

"He almost burnt Chan with the frying pan. I'm Hyejin." You looked at the hand that was outstretched to you and you followed it up to see a beautiful girl standing there. She had long thick black hair down her back stopping just at the bottom of her back. All of it beautiful waved as though it was cast in stone like that. You looked into her brown eyes and you smiled, it looked as though they were sparkling under the dull dorm lights. Her smile could have knocked the wind right out of your chest as she stood there doing nothing and yet looking amazing at the same time.

"I-I'm Y/n." You got up on your feet and looked at her, you suddenly felt as if you were underdressed even if you were just in the dorms. You were wearing a pair of jeans with one of Jisung's hoodies on since you figured it was just a nice night in at the dorms, you hadn't done anything fancy, unlike Hyejin. She was wearing a black dress that looked as though it was a trench coat tightly bound around her slim waist. It went to about the middle of her thigh and then she had thigh high socks on with a pair of heels, golden earrings in her ears and a full face of makeup. It looked as though she was going out for a meal rather than spending the night in, you nervously played with the sleeves of your shirt as she smiled at you,

"Jisung told me a lot about you," You smiled softly as you thought about what he could have been telling her about you it made you feel better knowing that she was accepting of you and Jisung.

"Good things I hope." You laughed nervously going to say something when you heard Jisung's voice fill the air, calling out her name. He walked into the room from his bedroom and you could have sworn his smile had faded when he locked eyes with you,

"Oh. Hey Y/n." Your heart sank as you heard the disappointment in his voice when he saw you standing there. You were hoping it was just your own imagination but you looked at him, he seemed so happy when he turned to look at her instead. The corners of his mouth turning up into a smile showing off a huge smile as soon as she looked back at him.

"I see you met Hyejin." You nodded as you looked at her and then to your boyfriend again, that was when you noticed a bandage around his hand. Panicked rushed through you as you stared at it,

"Sungie! What happened?!" Your voice broke out in a panicked tone as you turned his hand over, there was a spot of red seeping through a little bit of blood leaking out.

"It's nothing." He hissed at you, snapping his hand away as he hid it behind his back as he tried to hide it. Hyejin rolled her eyes at him and shook her head.

"Ugh, he's trying to act brave," Hyejin said as she rolled her eyes at him again as he grumbled something that neither of you caught.

"He accidentally cut it in the kitchen when he was throwing the knives around. Trying to show me some new choreography they're working on." You frowned at her explanation. If there was ever any new choreography Jisung would refuse to show you since he always wanted what they did to be a surprise to you so it was even more surprising that he was showing other people.

"New choreography?" You looked at Jisung hoping he would show it to you but he just said nothing as he turned away and walked into the kitchen to talk to the others.

"Was I not supposed to say anything?!" Hyejin cried out walking after him and leaving you alone with Seungmin and Minho again. A sinking feeling began to set into your chest at the thought that Jisung was mad at you for being there but you were friends with all of the boys too and after all, you were his girlfriend why shouldn't you have been there?

"Since when have you guys been working on something new?" You questioned as you looked at Minho for answers and then to Seungmin who was avoiding your gaze which meant he was trying to keep a secret but Minho smiled at you before winking.

"Only a month, it's for an award show...Nothing big. He was showing off because he's missed her." He mumbled as he looked through his phone,

"They were each other's first love after all. It's something you don't forget." That was when it all clicked into place. Hyejin. The name of the girl that Jisung had fallen madly in love with back in Malaysia, both of them fell in love but by the time either of them confessed it was too late. Jisung was leaving for Korea and they decided not to do the long-distance thing. You watched them from the sofa as he let her care for his hand, sitting together on the chairs as she inched closer to him. It was probably all innocent but in your head, you couldn't help but overthink every small action happening between the two of them.

Towards the end of the night, you were starting to see Jisung and Hyejin grow closer to one another. Throughout the meal, they sat beside one another recounting old stories. Laughing way too hard at Jisung's jokes that weren't funny or just whispering to one another. It was hard not to get jealous over something like this but you had to keep reminding yourself that they were old friends. Jisung loved you now and that was all that mattered.

"Lost in thought?" You jumped up dropping the bag of rubbish onto the floor as Changbin came out onto the balcony with you.

"Jesus Christ Binnie," You whined as you bent down to pick up the bag and all of the contents that had spilt out onto the floor,

"Sorry, I thought you heard me." He began to help you pick everything up when you noticed some shattered glass on the floor,

"Careful." You called out as you began picking it up carefully and placing it into the bin, that was when you saw the photo frame there. It was a golden trimmed one you'd gotten for Jisung, inside was a photo of you and him on your 1-year anniversary together.

"I wonder why he threw it out? Probably a mistake." Changbin said as he reached inside to pick up the photo that was covered in rotting food and rubbish.

"L-Leave it, I'll get him a new one." Your voice cracked as you tried to fight back the tears and overwhelming thoughts. Only one thought was hitting you about the photo being in the bin was that he didn't want Hyejin to see it, the one thought rolling around in your head over and over again. Glancing through the balcony doors you saw them sitting together on the sofa, her legs draped over him as they laughed to one another.

"I erm...I think I'm going to go." You whispered to Changbin as you finished putting the rubbish into the bed and then stood up,

"Why? We were all going to play just dance...Teams," You shook your head even if the thought of it seemed fun.

"I'm tired, long week." He nodded and walked back into the dorms with you, washing your hands together before you got ready to leave.

"Jisung! Y/n's going!" Felix called out as he handed you a small box with cupcakes inside, all of the perfectly decorated. He wanted you to take some home since he already made too many to keep at the dorms.

"I think he went for a walk with Hyejin, she said she was getting a little claustrophobic with all of us in here..." Jeongin said as he looked up from the switch, he was trying to find the perfect song that he could beat everyone on later in the night.

"Don't worry. Tell him I said I'll leave the back door unlocked," You mumbled as you slipped out of the door not wanting to make Jisung not being there a big deal. Of course, he was going to want to spend as much time as possible with her she was his best friend.

You turned down the street to head home when you saw them standing together in front of a shop, she was shivering when Jisung slipped off his jacket and wrapped it around her.

"Sungie! You're so sweet!" You heard her voice cry out making you bite down on your lip, you ignored them as you turned to walk the long way home not wanting to make it look as though you were interrupting their time together. It was only for the weekend and then she would head home, Changbin had been stood telling you all about her while you washed the dishes up. She'd been to a huge university doing every course imaginable that was available to her, she'd worked in a pet adoption and rescue centre and not to mention won a beauty contest not so long back. There was no denying how beautiful and smart she was.

The weekend passed and she still hadn't left Korea yet, according to Jeongin she'd decided to extend her visit by a week so she could go and see where Jisung worked. None of this you were told by Jisung though. The only text you got from him lately was him telling you that he wouldn't be back at the shared house yet or answering your texts really dryly. You were getting tired of putting it down to the fact that he'd missed her, you wanted your boyfriend back and yet every day that passed it felt as though he was slipping further and further away from you. There was always that crushing feeling in the back of your head that he was going to leave you for her but you had to ignore it. Jisung and you had been together for a year and a half now, you loved one another with every fibre of your being. You did your best to ignore the feeling but when the week extension ended and she extended her stay once again you began to grow insecure. Jisung became dryer with you and that was if he even bothered to respond or answer your calls if you wanted an answer out of him you had to call one of the others to get it out of them.

"You're finally home!" You smiled brightly as you walked into the house to see Jisung standing in the living room, you wrapped your arms around his body and smiled as you breathed in his scent. You'd missed him so much but you realised he wasn't returning the hug,

"I came by to grab some clothes, where's my black hoodie New York hoodie?" You stared up at him in silence as he just casually announced that he was going to be leaving you again soon.

"I've been sleeping in it," You whispered as you looked at him, kicking off your shoes and trying not to get angry at him for leaving you once again.

"Can you not stay here tonight? I've missed you Sungie, haven't you missed me?" You questioned hopefully, he looked into your eyes and his smile appeared. Relief washed over you as you looked at his smile,

"Of course I have, I just...Hyejin is my best friend and it's been so long." Another wave of relief hit you as you heard him call her his best friend so you hugged him tightly snuggling your head into his chest,

"She can always stay over here...We have the spare room and I wouldn't mind getting to know her." You told him as you kissed his chest but that was when his body tensed up and you knew something was wrong. Jisung only got tense and weird when he was trying to keep something from you.

"She got a hotel for us, we're in a twin room so we can just spend time together." Another hit in the chest as you realised they were alone together in a hotel room. When she was staying at the dorms it didn't hurt you as much since they were surrounded by 7 of your best friends who would let you know the ins and outs of everything that was happening. You were already receiving updates from Minho every hour on the hour without asking him to do it.

"A hotel room?" You tried your best not to come across as jealous but he could already sense it in the tone of your voice,

"It's not like that. I'm taking her to N Seoul Tower and then we're going to go sightseeing." N Seoul Tower. One of the top-rated romantic places to take a loved one. You moved away from him with your back to him as you tried to ignore the crushing in your heart again, it felt as though he was holding your heart in his hand and squeezing it tightly.

"The new york hoodie is her favourite, would you mind washing it and then drying it for tomorrow?" He asked casually as he went to sit down on the sofa,

"So...Without catching up with me, asking me how my week was or even hugging me back you're going to take off with another girl?" Your eyes widened as you spoke without thinking and Jisung just stared at you from the sofa wondering where all f this was coming from.

"She's my best friend, I haven't seen her for around 4 years...We have some catching up-"

"You've been catching up for almost two weeks, I miss you. I miss coming home to cuddle you to bed. You haven't so much as even text me since she got here." All of the anger was bubbling up inside of you as you thought back on everything, you tried not to let it get the better of you but you were sick of being pushed to the side as if you were nothing but some clothes he no longer wanted.

"Do you not want to spend time with me anymore?"

"Are you asking me to choose between you and Hyejin?" He cut you off and you just stared at him, mouth opening and closing as if you were some kind of fish. You'd never want to make Jisung chose between you and a friend,

"Because if you are I choose her. Her choose her over everything." The room fell into a deathly silence. So silent that you could hear the faucet in the kitchen begin to drip as you stared at Jisung who looked like he hadn't realised what he'd said or didn't care. He got up on his feet and walked past you, pushing into your shoulder as he walked by.

"So that's it then? You're throwing away 1 and a half years of relationship?" His hand hovered above the door handle as he stood in silence.

"Jisung!" You called out as he pulled the door open, the cold air rushing in and hitting you as you watched him standing with his back to you. Tears were welling up in the corners of your eyes as you waited for him to turn around and tell you that it was you he wanted but he never did.

"If you walk out of that door don't bother coming back..." You threatened but he just stepped outside, slamming the door behind him.

As soon as the door shut you fell down onto your knees letting out a loud sob as you thought about him leaving you for someone else. Your heart clenched as you heard his car start and pull out of the driveway leaving you alone with nothing but the memories you had in the house.

Jisung sat staring at Felix in the kitchen the next morning after he'd left your shared house the night before he went straight to the dorms instead of heading to the hotel. The fight that wasn't even really a fight came crawling into his head the whole drive and he couldn't bring himself to go to see Hyejin. He gave her some kind of excuse that he was feeling sick and stayed at home with you while he stayed at the dorms. Felix started singing as he made everyone breakfast and that only made Jisung think of you and how you would cook him breakfast on the weekends. Even after working so hard during the weekend you would always wake up early and make him food. Always standing there in his clothes, singing and dancing along to their music. Even his personal unreleased mixtapes that he would work on, his most recent being alien which you would loudly rap along to on the daily.

Throughout the rest of the day, all of the small things you used to do for him began to hit him. The way you would call out his name whenever he was late for something or didn't do something around the house like the dishes or emptying the trash. Even the way he heard you creeping around his home studio, he missed hearing your tiny footsteps as you tried to make as little to no noise as possible while he was working on something.

"How long has he been sitting like this?" Minho asked as he noticed Jisung staring down into a mug of hot chocolate that Hyunjin had made for him.

"About an hour, he won't say anything. Felix said he hasn't said anything since he came in last night." Hyunjin whispered as they continued to stare at their friend who looked as though he was having a losing battle with his own mind. Which he was. He'd started to think back on everything the night before and how he was somehow going to make this up to you. He didn't care if it would take a lifetime he never wanted to hurt you again.

"Hey. I bought Hannie this, he said-" Hyejin stopped speaking when she laid eyes on you, you were dressed in one of Jisung's hoodies and your eyes were bloodshot as you stared at her.

"Are you sick too?!" She questioned with a panicked look on her face,

"I can go and make you some more soup..." You shook your head as you wiped your eyes on the sleeve of Jisung's hoodie and tried to talk to her,

"H-He left last night, we broke up." You whimpered as you finally said out loud as you began to sob again, instantly Hyejin wrapped her arms around you as he brought you into a tight embrace. She began rubbing your back softly as she tried to comfort you but it only caused you to cry harder.

"What happened? He seemed so happy when we were hanging out. He couldn't stop talking about you." She slid a cup of hot chocolate in your hand as she joined you on the sofa in your house, you had offered her the drink but she insisted on making it since you were so upset.

"I...I sort of got a little jealous about-" You looked down into the liquid in the cup and cleared your throat thinking back on how stupid it must have seemed to her.

"About you." You finished off as you looked up into her eyes, she instantly began shaking her head reaching down to put her mug down onto the coffee table.

"There's nothing between me and Jisung that you need to be jealous of." She assured you as she looked into your eyes, she knew there had to be something off since you'd seemed so weird on Saturday she was at the dorms.

"Jisung and I were friends for a long time and we both wanted more but it doesn't take a genius to work out and see how much he's in love with you." You felt your heart crack even more as you realised you'd been the one to push him out of the house, the both of you had just been so pent up about different things. Hyejin wrapped her arm around your shoulder as you began to cry once again at the mere thought of telling him bever to come back.

"I told him not to bother coming back if he chose you," You sobbed into her chest as she continued to hold onto you and comfort you.

"If we know anything about Jisung it's that he'll do what he wants when he wants...He's in love with you. He'll come back."

As Hyejin was hugging you goodbye three hours later in the door you saw Jisung pull up in his car. You and Hyejin had spent three hours getting to know one another, she was telling you stories about Jisung to cheer you up and you were telling her stories about him to use as blackmailing tools in the future. Hyejin pulled away from the hug and turned to look at Jisung who was getting out of the car,

"Looks like someone decided to come back." She whispered to you as she turned to leave the front doorstep, passing Jisung she grabbed him by the arm.

"Don't you ever do something that dumb again, I mean it." She warned him as she waved her finger in his face staring into his eyes as she threatened him.

"I won't...Is she okay?" He questioned not looking at you, Hyejin nodded her head in your direction.

"Ask her yourself," She whispered before getting into her own rented car and leaving. Jisung turned to look at you and you smiled weakly, stepping aside so he knew the tension between you was okay for him to walk into the house again.

"You could have told me you were scared..." He said as he laid in the bed beside you, your head was resting on his chest as he played with your hair. Neither of you had said anything to one another since he got back, you just walked up to the bed and curled up next to one another. You in one of his hoodies while he wore nothing but some sweatpants, fights were never his strong point nor yours. He would rather talk it out calmly.

"You didn't even answer my texts and if you did I had one-word answers." You mumbled to him as you drew invisible patterns into his bare skin, you felt his chest vibrate as he laughed awkwardly.

"I'm sorry...I was just so excited about seeing her...She was telling me all about back home I just got carried away." He whispered as he looked down at you,

"I know I'll not be able to make it up to you, but there is nothing between us and there never will be." You shook your head as you thought about that, you placed your ear on his chest so you didn't have to look into his eyes.

"You can't promise that you're each other's, first love." You told him but as soon as he heard you say that he turned you to look up at him and shook his head.

"And you're my true love, no one in the world could replace what you mean to me Y/n." He licked his lips as he looked into your eyes,

"You're the only person I want to be with until we're both old and wrinkly...Racing our wheelchairs around nursing homes and bullying the nurses." You couldn't help it anymore you smashed your lips against his and smiled as you felt him gasp a little, wrapping his arms around your waist as he brought you up into a deeper kiss. Cupping your face in his hands and smiling against your lips,

"Does this mean I'm forgiven?" He panted breathlessly as he pressed his forehead against your own,

"Kind of. Hyejin and I are going to force you to come shopping before she leaves." You panted as you licked your lips, looking into his eyes as he fell back against the bed grumbling to himself.

Tagline: @channiewoo @taestannie @kneel-begyourpardon @minholuvs @bisexualmess007

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sillyrabbit81 · 3 years

Text

The Instructor - Part 4

Summary: Agent Walker continues your training.

Pairing: August Walker x Female Reader

Word Count: approx 3.8k

Warnings: smut, Dom/sub dynamic (m Dom, f sub), dégradation kink, praise kink, slapping, rough sex, orgasm control, I think thats it?

Authors note: Not beta read, only edited by me. There will be errors, my apologies.

Masterlist

Part 3 Part 5

The Instructor Part 4

August took you to the surveillance room. The operation had the whole ninth floor to work from, you didn’t know how the CIA was able to pull off such a requisition, but you knew not to ask questions. Chances were, even August didn’t know how that was done.

Agent Thomas was there with two other Agents and although they were both men, they were so opposite in nature and appearance you wondered how they could possibly work together. One of them seemed to radiate constant joy and good humour, while the other seemed dour and uninterested in anything. You receive a handshake and a welcoming smile from Agent Ortega and got a short nod from Agent Turner. Despite August introducing you by your name, since Agent Thomas had beaten you to them, your name was New Girl.

Apparently, there were two more Agents you would meet when your shift finishes. The number of Agents on this case struck you as odd. Six agents plus August all in the field seemed overkill for any simple surveillance case. Four should be more than enough. Hell, you could probably do it with three.

Ortega was the agent you would spend the next 8 hours with, and you were relieved. You were confident you knew how to do your job, but since this was your first field assignment, you were nervous and Turner made it worse.

So did August, if you were honest with yourself. You found yourself playing with the golden circlet around your neck a lot and chided yourself for bringing attention to it. It was meant to be discreet but if you constantly played with it, eventually someone would notice. You frequently found your concentration lapse and you would focus on August instead of your job. He was becoming an obsession, he invaded your mind constantly. You couldn’t stop thinking about him, anticipating your next visit or, remembering your too few encounters.

During one such daydream, you caught Ortega staring at you, expectantly. You quickly realised it was because he had spoken to you but you hadn’t responded. “Sorry,” you say. “I tend to get really focussed on my work and block out other sounds.” You lie smoothly. Ortega waves away your apology and repeats the question.

You enjoy your time with Ortega, he was friendly and warm without being lecherous. Perhaps his simple wedding band helped to put you at ease. He doesn’t offer information about his partner and you don’t ask. You both eat a lunch of sandwiches made in the kitchen and while the work doesn’t stop, you and Ortega start chatting and you find yourself growing more comfortable with him. Even though he calls you New Girl, he doesn’t treat you like a rookie and you found your confidence increase as the day went on. You even found yourself sharing jokes with him.

However, an hour before your surveillance shift finished, August came back to the room requesting an update. As he comes in the door you were smiling, still getting over a laughing fit with Ortega. Although he shows no obvious reaction, you notice a slight tightening of his jaw. You keep the smile plastered to your face as you look away, but you know there isn’t a hint of a smile in your eyes.

August checks in with Ortega who reports the day’s events. He leans over Ortega’s shoulder resting one hand on the desk while the other held one side of a pair headphones up to his ear as he listens to some audio. You can feel August’s gaze boring holes into you, and you can almost hear him say, “Look at me, Pet.”

Slowly you raise your eyes and look at him. You had to smother a gasp. He wasn’t just staring at you, it felt like he was stripping you bare with his eyes. The fire is his blue orbs was scorching with desire. His gaze holds you captive, and you know if Ortega sees what was taking place, your secret would be out. Scandal at this point in your career would mean you were chained to a desk for the rest of your life, if you didn’t quit in frustration, which was usually what most people did.

But August doesn’t take pity on you, he knows the risks too and doesn’t avert his gaze. He licks his lips, drawing attention to his mouth. With a leering look he mouths, “I’m going to fuck the shit out of you tonight, Pet.”

You make a strangled noise and Ortega looks up at you started. “You ok, New Girl?” he asks.

You reach down and clutch your foot, slipping it out of your shoe. “Yeah,” you say, hiding your face while you rub your foot. “Just a cramp.”

August ignores the situation and keeps listening to the audio. You avoid looking at him and he leaves a few minutes later. Even after he is gone, you still feel your ears and cheeks burn and you doubt you will be able to regain your concentration. Then you receive an email from August that simply reads “8 pm.” The rest of your shift is a write off.

Not long before eight pm you stand nervously outside August’s apartment. With trembling hands, you knock on the door. You feel tipsy, you can’t think straight, you’re giggly with nervousness and your legs are unsteady, ready to betray you at any moment.

“It’s open,” you hear August call from inside.

You take a deep breath in a useless attempt to settle your nerves and open the door. You see him sitting at his dining table reading from his laptop and nursing a tumbler of what looked like gin or vodka. He didn’t get up, just flicks his eyes up as the door opened, saw it was you and flicks his eyes down again.

“Lock the door,” August says and you do as he asks.

He is wearing his suit pants and button up shirt, but he had taken his jacket and tie off. His sleeves are rolled up and a few of the top buttons on his shirt are open and you can see tufts of his dark hair on his chest. His hair is still impeccably groomed, but a five o’clock shadow dusts his jaw. Even without the suit, he exudes authority, from the set of his jaw, to his posture, the only thing casual about him was his laxed attire.

“You’re early again,” August says. You still can’t tell if he thought being early was a good thing or not. Until he said otherwise you would continue to be early because you were sure August wouldn’t tolerate tardiness.

You half shrug in reply, but don’t say anything. You realise you hardly say anything in front of August, he intimidated you more than else did. He made you nervous in a way that was so intoxicating that you found it hard to even think of anything you wanted to say. Unless, he asked you a question, then you can hold nothing back. Perhaps it was because you know there is no one in the world that has more power over you than he does.

“Take your clothes off, pet.” August says, still not looking at you. “All of it this time, except your stockings and heels.”

You try to swallow, your mouth feels dry, but you don’t hesitate to obey, his tuts of disappointment that morning still lingered in your mind. Your hands shake as you undress and fold your clothes neatly. You aren’t sure why you feel like its important to fold your clothes, maybe it was because even when August was relaxing, he always had an air of clean order around him. Like he needed things to be just so. However, you know that’s not completely true, you have seen the chaos dance in his eyes, the thin veneer of civility he wore like a skin suit couldn’t hide all of his primal urges and tendency towards recklessness.

“Come sit next to me,” you hear August say the second you had folded your underwear and placed them on top of your clothes. You didn’t think he had been watching but he must have been, because even now he seemed to still be focussed on the screen in front of him. You feel a little silly that you had undressed like you would have at home, you didn’t even try to make it look good for him.

So, you make an effort this time, to show him you want to please him. You let your hips sway just slightly as you walk, the movements feel natural, yet seductive as you near him. You pull a chair away from the table but August stops you, putting his hand over yours. His fingers are warm on your skin and you feel a shiver run up your spine.

“Not there,” he says.

You walk around to the chair on the other side of him, but August stops you again. “Not there.” He looks at you, then with a small movement of his head and a smirk, he indicates the floor. “On your knees, pet.”

You’re shocked and before you can stop yourself you say, “On my knees?” You look at the rug under the table. It was fairly plush looking and soft so your knees wouldn’t hurt. You wondered if he wanted you to take him in his mouth again, you couldn’t think of another reason he would want you on the ground.

“Yes,” August says, with little patience, but his smirk holds. He must find your bemusement funny. “Now.”

You slowly sink to your knees next to August, you feel a little humiliated, but you are curious to see where this was going. August lets out a content hum as you obey. The sound makes you smile and you look up at him, his smirk now looks more like a smile and he pats your head. “Good girl.” He praises. All thoughts of humiliation left you as those two words warm you. August places his large hand on the back of your head and guides it to his thigh.

Again, you’re confused, until you feel his hand stroke your head. He pats you, soothing himself as he finishes his work. He occasionally lifts his hand to do some typing and you find yourself watching his hand impatiently until it is returned. Occasionally he touches your collar, running his fingers along it, as if reminding himself that you as his. Sometimes his fingers slide up and down your back, with long tender strokes that make you break out in goose bumps and when he makes you shiver you hear him hum with satisfaction.

Eventually you hear August give a big sigh and he stretches his neck before closing the laptop and moving it out of the way. He takes a last swig of his drink before putting it aside as well.

“Pet,” August says. You look up at him and he gives his head a little jerk again and you stand up. He looks you up and down, his eyes seem critical as he inspects you, but you know he likes what he sees because his tongue licks his lips before he bites his bottom lip.

August guides your leg over his and you stand in front of him now, your legs on either side of his and your bottom rests on the table. You feel exposed while he continues to study you, and you want to close your legs as you see his eyes linger on your bare slit. You know he would see the slick wetness of your arousal, you could feel it on the inside of your thighs. You close your eyes, a little embarrassed by your obvious display of desire.

August starts to run his hands over the outside of your thighs, hips and waist and back again, while he leans in and kisses the soft skin of your belly. You involuntarily giggle and your hands reach for his head as his stubble tickles at your sensitive skin. Still smiling he takes your hands in his, pulls them behind your back and holds both of them in his huge paw. He returns his kisses to your tummy, but this time they are bigger, wetter and you can feel his tongue lick at your skin as he does. You try not to wriggle, you try and hold still for August, but his teasing touch is too much and you find yourself squirming as he plays with you.

Between kisses he says, “I think its time I got to know you better, Pet.” You feel the heat rise in your body and you feel your heart beat everywhere. God, he has barely even started and you were so ready for him. “Time I explored you.” His eyes looked up at yours as his tongue slid up your body and over your nipple briefly. He held his face in front of your breast, letting his breath tickling your hard bud. “Time I tested your limits.” He takes you in his mouth, sucking on your nipple, and letting his teeth graze you, your body shuddering with pleasure.

Looking up at you August’s voice is suddenly serious, “If you need me to stop, say Red.”

“Red to stop,” you repeat, letting him know you understand.

Letting go of your hands, August lifts you by your waist and sits you on the table. “Lay down, pet.” He says, pushing against your shoulder. He lifts your legs so that your heeled feet rest on his thighs. You moan, and want to draw your knees together, but you feel his hands on the inside of your thighs pushing them further apart. You are completely on display for him, you can hide nothing as he continues spreading your legs. You shut your eyes, tight. Your mind and body were in conflict. You were on fire, hot with lust and need, but your mind wanted to say no, to stop, you couldn’t stand the embarrassment.

“Spread your lips wide for me, pet. I want to see your cunt dripping wet for me.”

You shake your head, you can’t do that. It was too much. Already so exposed and naked, the thought of holding yourself open to him was too humiliating. “Please August,” you murmur “I can’t.”

The loud smack against your breast takes you by surprise. You hear the noise before you even register the pain. “August,” you cry. Your hands reach up, covering your breasts, and you try to rub the sting away.

“Hold yourself open. I want to see inside you.” August’s voice is low and firm, not angry, just stern. You lift your head to see him, he tilts his head and his whiskered lip curls in a cruel grin, almost like he was daring you to say no again.

Laying your head back on the table and squeezing your eyes shut, you move your shaking fingers down to your slit. You’re so wet and so aroused you struggle to hold your swollen petals apart. You hear August’s breathing start to quicken and his voice is barely above a whisper as he says, “Good girl.” You feel a finger slide teasingly over your exposed core and despite your shame your hips roll in desire. “You have such a pretty wet cunt, Pet.” His finger sweeps up your slit, his rough pad pausing on your clit. You gasp as he does, and a low moan escapes you parted lips.

August chuckles, “You’re very responsive, Pet. I like that.”

His finger moves back to your entrance, and with agonisingly slow movements he pushes his finger into you. You feel yourself clamping down on him already, you’re so desperate to be filled. Your hips start to rock as he curls his finger inside you, searching for your spot.

“Oh fuck,” you cry when he finds it, you unconsciously try to curl up into a ball as every muscle in your body contracts. Your hips move faster now, and you eagerly beg, “Please August.”

“You are an impatient little slut sometimes, pet,” August says as he lays an arm over you, stopping your undulating hips. “I think patience will be your next lesson, but lucky for you, today I want to watch you cum.”

Without warning, August pushes a second finger inside you. You cry out as you feel yourself stretching to accommodate him. You were so close to coming, your whole body felt pulled tight like an elastic, ready to spring apart when the tension got too much. Your fingers start to hurt as you hold yourself open. Even your fingers feel tight, ready for the release of your orgasm.

Your thighs start to tremble and you feel the warm wave start to rise from your toes. “Are you about to come pet?” You barely hear August through the fog bliss you’re feeling as his fingers dance inside you, coaxing you to your peak.

“Yes,” you say through your moans.

“Ask permission,” August says.

You’re so close you can’t make sense of his words. “What?” you ask.

“Ask me if you can cum. This is my cunt pet, I will control when you cum. Or I can stop now.”

You understand that threat, “No, no, please don’t stop.” Panting, and breaking out in sweat you say, “Please August, can I cum?”

“Yes, my needy little slut. Cum for me. Now.”

And you do. You don’t know if it was because he told you to or if it was because you were so close anyway, but when he said now, you felt a wave of warmth flood you. Your body pulsed and your core milks at his fingers and they keep hitting your spot. It feels like your orgasm lasts for an age and even as you come down from your high, you tremble in little after shocks.

You are in such a haze you don’t notice August removing his fingers until you feel both his hands on your knees, pushing them up and out as he stands. Wrapping his arms around your thighs, he gives them a tug. Your ass is barely on the table and in your malleable state, you feel like you’re going to fall off, but he holds you there.

There’s a new sensation at your core, and you groggily sit up, resting on your elbows. You see August, cock in hand lining himself up. You whimper, not yet, you think. Augusts lifts his eyes and you’re caught once again in his piercing blue eyes. His shows you his teeth and grabs your throat as he impales you with his cock.

You would have thought that you would adjust to his size quicker after the euphoria of your orgasm, but you were wrong. You feel yourself reluctantly stretch around him, and despite the pain, as he fills you, tears you apart, it feels good, he feels good.

August pulls you up by your throat, and you wrap your legs around him for stability. You think he’s going to kiss you, but he studies your every facial expression, listens to every little moan as he starts to fuck you. Still feeling weak, every thrust from August throws you, his firm grip on your throat was the only thing stopping you from falling back on the table.

“You look so good, pet,” he grunts at you through his gritted teeth. “You look like a slut, with your pretty mouth moaning for more.” He leans in close to you, and growls into your ear, “But you’re not just a slut, pet. You are my slut.”

You cry out as he says it, his claim of you relights the fire between your legs and you start moving with him, trying to fulfil the growing need inside you. You grasp his shoulders, holding onto him as he keeps whispering in your ear, “You greedy girl, you want to cum again don’t you?”

“Please, August,” you say. He raises his head and sticks two fingers in your mouth, pushing them in deep, almost making you gag. As you build to your peak so does your boldness and this time you find Augusts eyes. You run your tongue around his fingers, before starting to tease them and suck on them.

August snarls as he watches, and increases his pace. You want to cum again, but you don’t want to stop sucking his fingers. But then August breaths a curse, “Fuck.”

You couldn’t hold it off now, you say around his fingers, “Pease August, can I cum?”

“Fuck, yes,” August is as lost as you are and as you fall over the edge, and your pulsing walls grip his cock he thrusts into like he wants to tear you in two. On his last pump he lets out a deep rumbling growl, before his whole body shudders. You had never seen a man who came like him, the way he doesn’t hold back, the way he lets his primal urges over take him, the noises, all of it was so fucking hot.

August leans his sweaty forehead against yours while you both get your breath back. His hand still holds your throat but he moves it under your chin, and with the gentleness that always surprises you, lifts it and kisses you with soft lips and a caressing tongue. You kiss him back, matching his mood, softly licking at his lips.

With a final kiss, August pulls away and helps you to your feet. “Ok?” he asks. You nod and he chuckles briefly, “Who knew you had both a degradation kink and a praise kink?”

You look away from him, embarrassment filling you. August sees it and lifts your face to his again. “I fucking love it,” he says. “Much more to explore.”

You smile, still a little shy about it, but not as embarrassed. “Come,” he says and takes you to his bedroom where you both get in bed and you lay like you had that morning.

You stay awake, pretending to sleep, keeping your breaths long and steady. Eventually August drifts off, and you wait until he falls into a deep sleep.

You slowly get out of bed and creep over to the dining table. You lift August’s laptop from the chair he had left it on. You open it and enter the password you saw him use on the plane. Your hands start sweating as the machine connects to the CIA network. You think you hear a noise and you look behind you, but you can see or hear nothing.

You type August’s CIA log in and enter another password. You are worried about this one, you aren’t sure if you had been able to catch all of it. You release the breath you didn’t realise you were holding when the CIA logo fills the screen.

You feel eyes on you and the hair on the back of your neck starts to rise. Terrified you turn around and come face to face with August and his unforgiving eyes. “What do you think you are doing, Pet?”

Part 5

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#august walker #august walker x you #august walker x reader #henry cavill #henry cavill fanfiction #august walker smut #august walker fanfiction #henry cavill fic #fanfic #mission impossible 6

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let-them-read-fics · 3 years

Text

Too Late To Apologize?

Requested By @rosiesandlilies: “I was wondering if I can request a Rosé x female reader story where Rosie is an idol who also happens to be ur wife and since she and BP are taking over the world by storm, she starts to forget about you and whenever u ask her to spend a little bit of time with you, she gets upset and fights with you. You’re also an important person but you always make time for her. Can it be angsty with fluff 🥰”

Pairing: Rosé x Fem!Reader

Word Count: ~ 6,026

Warnings / Misc: -- Angst, Self Doubt, Strained Marriage / Relationship, Crying, Some Swearing, Fluff

Disclaimer: This writing is a work of fiction, and no disrespect is meant for those mentioned herein.

A/N: Oooooo lord, here we go. I am feeding 👏 you 👏 all 👏 today! This one took a while to write, but I’m pretty happy with it. I wrote it all in one go, starting at like 3am (as usual lol), so forgive me if it’s a little rough. I put a lot of effort into it, though, so I hope you guys enjoy. Thank you for requesting -- Happy reading!

PS ~ I highly recommend that you listen to these songs as you read this:

You Were Good To Me -- Jeremy Zucker & Chelsea Cutler

Surrender -- Natalie Taylor

The Night We Met -- Lord Huron

I Found -- Amber Run

🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

Hongdae, Seoul -- 8:00 PM

“Good evening, everyone! Before I open the doors, I’d like to thank each and every one of you for taking the time out of your day to stop in. We couldn’t have done this without your support, and we’re endlessly grateful. We hope you have a wonderful experience with us tonight. Now, without further ado, welcome to La Rêverie!”

To your amusement, the sizable crowd erupts into a fit of cheers once your opening speech is over. Echoes of the joyous sounds carry across the city, wiggling their way through the alleys and streets, bouncing off of the nearby buildings. The customers slowly filter in, greeting and congratulating you on their way; you’re beyond excited to start this new journey, and seeing people so happy to be a part of it only makes you more proud.

Eventually everyone makes it inside to their seats, and you join them.

--- Later That Evening ---

“Y/N, we have a private party that would like to see you. They’re eager to meet the woman behind all of this,” Pierre smirks, quirking an eyebrow suggestively. His demeanor confuses you slightly, seeing as how this isn’t the first time high profile celebrities have requested your presence -- that’s just one of the perks of being a world renowned chef. You brush off his remark as playful banter and send him to tell them that you’ll be out soon.

---

“...yes, actually. Y/N and I were fortunate enough to meet when she was studying in Paris; we were being trained by the same chef. We’ve been close ever since. I’m not surprised that she hired me, though; I’m practically a master in the kitchen.”

At Pierre’s cocky words, your eyes nearly roll into the back of your head. A small grin plays on your lips nonetheless, and you smooth out your top one more time before rounding the corner.

“What’s this idiot on about now? Did he tell you about the time that he nearly got kicked out of our mentorship program for giving Anthony Bourdain the wrong dish?” You ask the table, sending them a glance while ruffling his hair as you come up behind him. They all snicker at that, and it’s his turn to roll his eyes; with an annoyed shove, he scolds you for bringing that story up again.

“Must you always tell people about that?”

Your smile widens, spreading cutely across your face. Mocking him is one of your favorite things to do. “Mhm,” you say simply, nodding your head for emphasis. He attempts to hide his embarrassment, but it only brings a deeper blush to his cheeks.

At the VIP table, the suppressed sound of laughter carries over to you, and you’re reminded of your reason for being here in the first place. Upon offering your full attention to the table now, no longer distracted by Pierre, you’re met with 4 different pairs of eyes on you. Warm, yellow light illuminates the area, the classy overhead fixture emitting a soft glow to cast down on the guests beautifully. It’s cozy and inviting, just like you had intended it to be, and the sight makes you happy.

As you quickly scan over each of the girls, your brain pieces together where you know them from.

“My oh my, it’s Blackpink themselves. To what do I owe this honor?” All of the natural charisma that you possess takes over now, doing its best to override your nerves. It’s definitely not the time to fangirl over them; you have to act cool. One by one, you shake their hands, making sure to give each of them a glimpse of your award winning smile.

Jennie is the first to speak up. “Yourself, of course. You’re the talk of the town, Y/N, how could we miss this?” The way that she says it so casually, already skipping past the formalities, puts you at ease.

“Ah, you’re too kind. Was your food prepared to your liking?”

A chorus of approving noises leaves the table, successfully boosting your confidence in the process. “It was truly incredible, Y/N.” Rosé gushes, her adorable accent adding something magical to the simple phrase. For the first time tonight, your mind goes blank; ever since news broke of your plans for this new restaurant, you practiced to avoid this very thing. As you stand there floundering for a beat, she takes notice of the effect that her words have on you; it doesn’t take long for her to realize how much she loves to make you blush.

“Thank you so much. We’re so glad to have you here tonight.”

“We’re happy to be here! Rosé hasn’t stopped talking about it for the past week.” The Australian’s eyes go wide as Lisa exposes her, and she shoots the younger girl a shocked look. Lisa only smirks at this, her shoulders rising and falling in a nonchalant shrug. Jisoo nods in confirmation, adding, “Yeah, she’s been super pumped.”

On the inside, you’re freaking out. Rosé was that excited to try out your creations? There’s no logical explanation for that one. Your own surprise is evident in your voice as you respond, “Oh really now? And why’s that?”

“I-I’ve just heard a lot of great things, you know? You’re pretty talented.” She tries to sound confident, but the stutter in her voice betrays her. The tips of her ears are burning with embarrassment, and after sending her yet another smile, you decide to spare her by changing the topic.

“Well thank you, again. It’s truly a privilege to cook for you girls.” The conversation continues from there, effortlessly moving from subject to subject, and you love how welcome they make you feel. Occasionally you excuse yourself to check on the other guests and ensure that they’re enjoying their dinner, and every time, Rosé finds herself sorely missing your presence. Despite only officially meeting tonight, she feels like she’s known you her whole life. The two of you clicked instantly, and she can’t seem to get enough of you.

After spending the better part of 2 hours chatting and getting to know one another better, you grow bold and ask the question that’s been rolling around in your head all night.

“Would you guys like to come back to the kitchen for a bit? I could give you some tips and we could make a couple dishes, if you want.”

Rosé nearly interrupts you from how eager she is to accept the offer. The second that you’re done asking, she’s already saying yes. The others happily agree as well, and soon you’re leading them to the back to get prepped.

_________

“Just like this, everyone. Cut thinly here,” you inform, using your knife to point to the areas in question, “...then turn it and follow through with the slices. It should come out diced, like so.” The girls observed your swift motions, peeking over at the small cubes once you’re finished. Things continue on like this for a while, and soon you’re halfway done with the veggies while they’re barely done with the first part of their batches.

“Slow down, Y/N! You’re too fast for us grandmas.” Jisoo jests, her voice bouncy with amusement.

“Okay, okay! I’ll wait, just let me know if you need help.” Your knife comes to rest against the cutting board, and you take the opportunity to lean back against the countertop to watch them work. Your eyes trail over to Rosé, only to find her already looking at you; she tenses once she realizes she’s been caught, and she returns to her previous duties. You decide to tease her.

“Everything alright, Rosé? You seem a little distracted…” She momentarily shuts her eyes at your words, trying to refocus her thoughts and collect herself. A subtle snicker from Lisa can be heard, and Rosé delivers a quick jab to her arm. The maknae lets out a little “oww” before setting her things down to rub away the newfound soreness of her arm.

A little later, Jennie requests some assistance, prompting you to make your way over to her. The station that she’s working at just so happens to be next to Rosé’s, and you’d be lying if you said that didn’t thrill you.

“Do we peel this first or leave it on?”

“Cut the ends first, then slice it in half and remove the outer layer.”

Under your watchful eye, she follows your instructions and is soon back on track. She thanks you, and you bring your hand up to give her a pat on the back. Although she feels childish for it, the action works to make Rosé the tiniest bit jealous; she wants your attention on her.

The blonde clears her throat before speaking up. “Y/N, I need a little help, too.” Your heart jumps at her words, and you fight hard to keep yourself in check as you spin around to face her.

“Of course, Rosé.” She sighs at the way her name rolls off your tongue, and she’s completely convinced that you’ve secretly put her under some type of spell. Her thoughts of you and your mysterious ways are interrupted when you come to stand next to her, your hip lightly brushing against hers.

“Oh, well there’s your problem: you’re holding the knife wrong. Here,” you start, reaching out to reposition her hand in a better spot. Now she’ll be able to control it better, and she won’t run the risk of cutting herself.

“Better?” You ask innocently, missing the way that she bites her lip. The close proximity of your bodies is making her head spin, and she can’t decide if she wants you to stay or go. “Yes, thank you.” She looks like she wants to say something else, but she doesn’t, so you take that as your cue to go check on the other girls. Rosé silently curses herself for missing that golden opportunity to flirt with you, but she takes solace in the fact that she catches you stealing glances her way fairly often. You feel the connection too, and she’s pleased with that -- maybe she was doing something right after all.

The next stint of the night is spent preparing and cooking the dishes you promised them while trading jokes, banter, and teasing remarks. A mini food fight also took place, but for the sake of professionalism you won’t mention that. You couldn’t have asked for a more perfect day.

----

“Goodnight girls. I hope you come by again sometime soon!”

They all assure you that they’ll be back before you know it, and you believe them. After all, they gobbled those dishes down like they hadn’t eaten in days -- it’s safe to say that they enjoyed them.

Rosé lingers in the doorway, eyeing you as you work to clean off the counter. She doesn’t want to go; she’s loved getting to hang out with you. Contemplating her options, she decides to be brave; she tells the girls to go on ahead, that she’ll be there in a minute.

“Rosé, did you forget something?” You ask, looking up at her as you reach forward to wipe any remaining debris off the sleek surface.

“Yeah, your number.” Somehow, she possesses all the confidence in the world now, her new demeanor completely opposite to its previously shy counterpart.

You tilt your head at her, a dumbfounded smile parting your lips ever so slightly. “Bold, are we? Alright, I’ll bite.” You say, holding a hand out for her to give you her phone. Her eyes widen a bit -- was she not expecting you to say yes? There’s no way you could turn down a chance like this. She fumbles around in her bag until the smooth screen of her phone comes into contact with her fingers, letting her know she’s found it.

“Here you go,” she chuckles cutely, an adorable little pattern of blush rising to her cheeks again.

After entering your number, making sure to save the contact and even take a goofy picture of yourself for it, you give it back to her. “Call me anytime, love.” Her smile spreads even farther at the pet name, and she ducks her head to hide her reddening cheeks.

As she slowly approaches the door, walking backwards, she says, “I will… love,” offering you a little awkward salute at the end of it. You giggle at her antics, and soon bid her goodnight.

No more than 5 minutes later, your phone dings as it displays a notification from an unknown number.

“I’m usually not that awkward 🤦‍♀️ pretty girls just make me nervous.” The message makes your heart flutter, and you quickly save her number to your contacts.

“Really? We have yet another thing in common, then.”

The girls watch as Rosé does a little victory dance in her seat, her movements a bit limited by the belt stretched across her body. She’s practically glowing with excitement, her fingers already firing off another reply.

________

3 Years Later -- Rome, Italy

Upon seeing Rosé saunter down the aisle, your emotions get the jump on you; before you can stop them, tears flow freely down your face, and you bring a hand up to your mouth to quiet yourself. She looks bruisingly beautiful: the natural curves of her body are accentuated by the silky material of her dress, and her shoulders are covered in lace. An angel cast down from the heavens above.

She smiles at the audience that’s filled with your close friends and family, offering little greetings as she passes them. Once she and her father make it to the altar, he pulls you in for a big hug, a few tears escaping his eyes. After he takes a step back, he looks between the two of you with pure pride on his face, his hand resting on your shoulder.

The song ends, signalling for the two of you to join hands and face each other, and he returns to his seat.

“We’re gathered here today to celebrate the joyous union of Y/N L/N and Roseanne Park. Two souls destined to find their way to one another, travelling millions of miles in the process. We come together to revel in this fact and send them into their new life together with all of our support.” The officiator says into the microphone, smiling at the two of you. You can tell he loves his job, and he’s damn good at it.

Rosé’s grip on your hand tightens as she tries to contain her tears, but you’re quick to assure her that it’s alright. “You can cry, baby.” At your words, her lip is released from between her teeth, and her tears begin to flow. You wipe them away, stepping closer to rest your forehead against hers.

The ceremony continues on and the two of you recite the personal vows you wrote. Somehow, unbeknownst to you, there doesn’t seem to be a limit to how much you can cry in one sitting. Rosé is having the same problem, seeing as how her makeup is smudging some as the tears wash the substances away. You don’t care though, and you make it a point to remind her of that; she’s never looked more beautiful to you.

“I do.” You choke out, beaming at her as you run your thumb across her knuckles.

“I do.” She responds, impatiently bouncing on the balls of her feet as she waits for those final words from the officiator.

“You may now kiss the bride.”

Her lips are on yours before he even finishes the phrase, her hand resting on the back of your neck as she pulls you in closer. Your lips move with hers in perfect time, working to seal your union in the best way possible. “I love you, forever,” she whispers against your lips.

____

Present Day, 1:17 AM

In order to spare you from the overwhelming sadness that you’re being subjected to now, your brain takes you back to those happy times from the past. When Rosé still made time for you; when she loved you.

Even though you hate it, you still find her in everything. The bright sunshine of the early morning reminds you of all the times she would wake you up with kisses, holding you close. The songbirds outside of your window bring to mind when you’d come home to find her at the piano, alternating between striking the keys and strumming her guitar as her beautiful voice carried out across the house.

You miss that Rosé, so, so much. The Rosé that would call you in between sessions at the studio, if only for 5 minutes. The Rosé that longed to hear your voice after a long day; who fell into your arms the second that she shuffled through the door after practice.

As time has passed, though, she’s seemed to fade more and more from your life; missed calls and texts have become a given, and it takes everything in you to mask your sorrow. Anyone who knows you well at all can easily see through the facade: you’re now a shell of who you once were, your normally vibrant and cheery self gone. You attempt to hide your sadness behind a smile, but it never really works out; your eyes don’t shine like they used to, and your lips don’t quite tweak up at the corners in the special way they had before.

But you’re getting ahead of yourself again. Your reason for crying tonight is simple: for the hundredth time this month, she’s cancelled your date night plans, opting to spend the time working instead. The argument that the two of you had earlier replays in your mind:

"I don't have a choice."

Except, she did. She could choose you, choose to take a break, if only for the evening. You never ask too much of her, knowing that she can't handle even more stress competing with what she already has from the company and media. Being an idol is hard enough, and you know you can never fully wrap your head around everything that's expected of her.

Though, that makes this all the more ridiculous. All you've asked for is a couple hours of her time -- for her to relax with you and get away from it all. Earlier that day you had gone to the store and picked up all the necessary materials to treat her to a little spa day, complete with bath and body oils, face masks, and even some bath bombs.

"Asking my wife to spend an evening with me is not unreasonable, Rosé."

"I'm not having this argument again, Y/N. I get enough shit from everyone else; I don't need any extra from you."

Maybe it was something in how she said it, so final and hateful, her face coming to rest in a scowl. Her arms were crossed as she stood in front of you, and you could see the muscles in her jaw clench and release repeatedly. In some twisted way, part of you was glad to have this encounter; it hurt like hell, but at least she was paying attention to you. She hadn't looked at you for this long in a while.

Before you can even get another word out, she sighs, saying, "I don't have time for this. I have to go back to the studio."

Just as she turns to go, you catch her wrist. With a slightly annoyed look, she turns to face you.

"If you walk out that door then I'm leaving; at least for the night. We need to talk about this, but if you don't care enough to even give me that, then…" you trail off, tilting your head slightly. You want her to apologize, to say how wrong she's been for doing all of this to you -- but she doesn't. Her expression is tired, irritation written plainly for you to see. She pulls her arm away, offering a petty, "Oh well," with a shrug before exiting the house.

How could she be so cold? Maybe that's what hurt the most. Seeing the love of your life turn into someone completely different than who you fell for stung more than any argument ever could. The reality is that she's not the same person anymore. Accepting that would be half of the battle in and of itself.

Your heart is betraying itself, stuck in a sticky situation: you're constantly struggling between your love for her and the respect you hold for yourself. Half of you wants to stay, to make her listen and fight for this; but the other half of you, perhaps the more rational side, knows that that won't work now. You've tried that already, you reason with yourself, racking your brain for any new way to get through to her.

Sometimes it's like she forgets all of the sacrifices you make for the relationship. Despite having your own busy schedule to deal with, you always make time for her. So why could she never do the same for you?

It's obvious that in its current state, this relationship is only wrecking your mental health -- a testament to that is every night you've spent lying awake, sobbing into your pillow as your list of insecurities grows longer and longer. She used to be the person you'd run to when negative thoughts plagued your mind, her sweet words of love showing how much she valued you. But all of that's gone now, leaving you with a shattered heart and racing mind. When had you stopped being enough?

~~~~~~~

It’s late, well past 4AM when Rosé manages to make it home. Practice absolutely wrecked her today, leaving her body exhausted from dancing and throat sore from all the singing she had to do. She’s more than ready to collapse into bed and pass out.

One thing that always stayed the same was your sleeping arrangement. No matter how much Rosé hurt you, you still slept in the same bed. Her subconscious was always kinder to you than she was, anyway; the two of you would cuddle in close like before, her arms wrapped around you as she slept peacefully. No arguments or yelling, you could always count on the nights to heal your heart a little bit.

As she enters the empty bedroom, the memory of your argument from earlier that day comes flooding back. She remembers that you said you were leaving, but part of her didn't fully believe you. She should've known better -- you always keep your word. Guilt washes over her, and she gently taps her head against the wall as a sort of self-punishment for her previous actions. Why did she say that to you? The hurt look in your eyes broke her heart, but she couldn’t afford to skip practice, especially with the comeback quickly approaching. In retrospect, she should’ve just told you that she didn’t feel prepared, and that’s why this practice had been so important. Even though she doesn’t show it, you still mean the world to her. She just so happens to be her own worst enemy.

With a heavy sigh, she makes her way to the bathroom; there she finds a cute little basket of goodies next to the tub, and a note on the counter of the sink. She approaches the basket first, quickly discovering that it holds some of her favorite self-care items from the local store. Yet again, a deep pang of guilt courses through her upon realizing that you had prepared that for her. Defeated, she picks up the note.

Roseanne,

If you’re reading this, then I’ve already left. I don’t want you to worry, if you even still care enough to do that, so I decided to leave this letter for you. I’ll be staying with my friend for the next while. I don’t know how long, but that depends entirely on you. I’ve tried to communicate with you, but we’re getting nowhere; we both know it. We’re not who we used to be, Rosé, and I hate that. I want us to be happy again, but it seems that I can’t do that for you. If you want to end things, let me know.

- Y/N

Rosé’s heart is breaking, splintering into a million different pieces and leaving her with no possible way to collect them all. How had she so royally fucked this up? She only has herself to blame, and she knows that; she can’t believe that she let things get like this. She had been so blinded by the stress that she lost sight of the most important thing in her life: you. It’s slowly sinking in that she very well might lose you for good this time, and she doesn’t know how to cope with that. She can survive without her career, but she knows she can’t go on without you.

----- La Rêverie, 2 Weeks Later -----

She only intended to walk by -- to see if you were there and safe. But as she gazes through the windows, peeking into the place that houses so many of her dearest memories, she’s transfixed. Her eyes land on you, finding you hard at work in the kitchen. It’s always been where you go when you’re stressed or upset about something -- two things that Rosé knows she’s the cause of.

You’re in your element, face donning a look of pure concentration as you prepare what she assumes is a new dish. Your hair’s in a bun, a few strands coming down to fall around your face as you move about. Gravity takes its time in gently coaxing them out of the tie's hold, and Rosé’s breath hitches at how beautiful you look; it’s as if she’s falling for you all over again. She’s always admired your skills, but they hold a whole new meaning now, an unspoken tension in every movement you make.

How had she been so selfish? You had been there for her all along, waiting patiently for the day that she would come to her senses. You would always have dinner ready -- usually one of her favorites, hoping that would spark something again -- but she always brushed you off. She never stayed long enough to see the crushed look on your face, or how the pain was becoming clearer and clearer by the day. She realizes now just how much of a toll her actions have taken on the both of you; you're still just as breathtaking as ever to her, but that special sparkle in your eye has long been eclipsed by something more dull. You're tired of being let down repeatedly, stuck in a constant loop of excuses and avoidance, and Rosé can't blame you for a second.

The time apart hasn't been kind to her at all; there hasn't been a single day that's gone by where you haven't consumed her thoughts. She misses you so badly it hurts, and even now, despite being so close to you, separated only by the walls of the restaurant, you've never been further away.

The distant sound of a car alarm cuts through the silence, simultaneously scaring her and drawing your attention. Before you can spot her, she ducks down; there’s no way that she can face you yet. Taking this as a sign, she decides to leave.

She’s spent the past 2 weeks attempting to spare you by not coming around; she thinks you need time away from her to deal with everything she’s put you through, and she doesn’t want to upset you anymore than she already has. Ever-torn, part of you is glad that she’s stayed away; however, another part of you just wants to see her again. You miss the nights more than you thought you would.

--- A Few Days Later ---

Steady sheets of rain pound harshly against the window, vibrating the latches with each gust of wind. Times like these are always the worst, especially when you don’t have Rosé to calm you down. Violent thunderstorms never fail to frighten you, and this one in particular seems like it’ll be the worst one of the season. Swiftly padding over to the window, you sneak a quick peek outside, only to find the branches of the large oak tree that occupies the yard swaying in the wind with reckless abandon. The sight terrifies you, but you do your best to keep yourself from panicking, even having to do some breathing exercises. Your friend can sleep through anything, and you know she needs the rest; so, you stay in the spare bedroom that she’s so graciously allowing you to reside in, and lie awake.

Across the city, Rosé is tossing and turning. The storm hasn’t fully reached its peak there yet, but she knows how worried you must be. Tears spring to her eyes at the thought of you huddled up under the covers, body trembling in fear as the storm rages on. The deep-rooted shame that she’s grown so accustomed to since you left plagues her conscience, making her even more disgusted with herself.

After turning over yet again, her eyes land on the picture she has of the two of you propped up on the nightstand. It was taken on your wedding day, that stunning view of the venue paling in comparison to your beauty. A sense of determination washes over her -- determination to make you that happy again someday, in whatever way she can -- and she gets out of bed to collect a few materials. She’ll do whatever it takes.

----

The sound of a car door slamming perks your ears up, and your curiosity gets the better of you. Quickly pulling the curtain back, you’re beyond shocked to see Rosé out there, holding something in her hand. Just as you lean in closer to the window to try and see what it is, her caller ID pops up on your phone.

“Come downstairs, please.”

Even with the vast array of emotions coursing through you at the moment, you’re only focused on getting her inside and out of harm’s way.

You nearly knock the door off its hinges with how quickly you snap it open. To your surprise, she’s still standing by her car, but now you can see what she was holding before; a white sign with black writing on it. The words are barely legible with how much it's raining, the dye of the marker horribly smudged, but you can make out: “I’m sorry! I’m an idiot.” It’s like something out of romantic drama.

Before you can even comment on everything that’s happening, Rosé begins the speech that she’s been trying to piece together ever since you left.

She has to raise her voice so you can hear her over the storm. You wonder why she doesn’t just come in, but you think that maybe she’s doing it to show you that she’s willing to punish herself by standing out in the elements. “No words that I say will ever be able to fix the pain that my actions caused. You don’t deserve any of the shit I put you through, and I hate myself for being such a coward. I was too immature to look past my own struggles and just talk to you about them.”

Now, she takes a few cautious steps towards the front door, testing the waters as she scans your face to gauge how you’re feeling. “I guess I just thought I could deal with it like I always do. But losing you showed me how wrong I was; I love you so much, Y/N. I don’t want to end things; I’ll never want that. You’re my world, baby; I’m so sorry that it took me this long to see what was right in front of me.”

How are you to respond to that? Can you trust her? She looks more sincere in this moment than she has in a long time, and that puts you a little more at ease. Her eyes are begging -- pleading -- with you to believe her, and after a moment you step to the side, wordlessly telling her to come in. You don’t even realize that you’re crying until a few stray tears drip onto your shirt, leaving little marks in their wake. She has to restrain herself from reaching out and wiping them away; she has no idea when -- or if -- you’ll be able to forgive her.

Soft pitter-patter of the water running off of her coat echoes lightly across the foyer, serving as white noise for the conversation you’re having. Her sniffles work in tandem with it, and she bites back her sobs in order to get the words out.

“I know this won’t be fixed overnight, but I’ll spend the rest of my life making it up to you, if you’ll let me. I won’t blame you for a second if you can’t forgive me, either. I just couldn’t let you get away without a fight.”

With each new fresh batch of tears that settle in your eyes, you have to work twice as hard to blink them away. “I-I don’t know what to say, Rose. You’re the only person in this world capable of hurting me that badly, because you mean more to me than anyone else. But I never thought you’d treat me like that. Do you know how many times I doubted myself, thinking I did something wrong?” Your tone is bitter now, voice conveying the pain from those months of anguish that you had to endure, and Rosé hangs her head.

“I know that now, Y/N, and I know that I can never take it back. But God, how I wish I could. I’d do anything in my power to take that pain away. It was never your fault; none of it was.”

You know she’s being honest. After seeing the opposite for so long, it’s easy to spot when she’s telling the truth. You nod a couple times, deciding to pull her in for a long-overdue hug. She’s motionless at first, not quite knowing if you want her to return it or not, but the second that you quietly say, “Hold me, Rosé,” she’s scooping you up in her arms like her life depends on it. Her head rests in the crook of your neck, and the two of you cry together, letting all of the pent up frustration and sadness leave your bodies.

After standing there, embracing one another for who knows how long, she pulls away just enough to look into your eyes. Her gaze subtly falls to your lips, but you don’t fail to notice. “Can I?” She asks gently, raising her eyes back up to yours. “Yes.” You utter, nearly swooning as her soft lips brush against your own. You’ve missed them.

Her chilled hands cup your cheeks with purpose, and you can feel water running off the ends of her hair and onto your chest.

She kisses you in such a poetic way: softly, as if you might break at any moment, but urgently, like a lost soldier finally returning to the arms of their lover. She wants to make you feel how sorry she is, how much she loves you, and this seems like the perfect place to start.

“I love you, jerk,” you say through your tears, brushing your thumb along her cheek as you look into her eyes.

“And I love you, angel.” She picks you up, spinning you around a couple of times before setting you back down on your feet.

After a moment, you glace at the window. “Shhhh, wait. Do you hear that?”

She cocks her head to the side as she listens closely for any potential noise that you might be talking about, but she hears nothing. “No? I don’t hear anything…”

“Exactly; the rain stopped.”

“Huh. I guess it did its job, then.” She smiles, silently thanking the universe for working in its wonderful ways. It brought the two of you back to one another, and neither of you can contain your happiness. Maybe you don’t hate storms as much after all...

442 notes · View notes

beomeli · 3 years

Text

A normal October night || C.SB

Warning: mention of drinking, underaged drinking, mild swearing

Genre: Angst, unrequited love, heartbreak

Non-idol!Soobin X gn!Reader

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

As the cold night of october settled with beautiful autumn leaves and quiet streets, one specific house didn't bother keeping the nice aesthetic at peace.

People were dancing, drinking, making out, all while loud music played in the background. They didn’t care about the complaining, they only wanted to make as much possible of their youthful days. Even though the house was fairly big, every space was crowded with drunk people having the time of their lives. Making the rooms feel small and claustrophobic. As for you, you were standing alone towards a white wall.

Your best friends had convinced you to come, and since one of them kept on insisting, you couldn’t do much but to agree. That one was Choi Yeonjun, an excited extrovert that always acted out on whatever came to mind, as for the other.. his name was Choi Soobin, the more quiet and calm one. Even though they were different personality wise, they complemented each other very well. Always seeming to get along and joke around, Yeonjun pulling stupid antics and Soobin laughing alongside. they were very good best friends. And they were your best friends.

Your first encounter with Yeonjun almost felt unreal. You being a first year and him being one year above, saw you quietly sitting alone outside the school building. you were eating your lunch by yourself next to the school gymnasium. And as he walked past you towards the gym, he couldn’t help but walk up and greet you.

Ever since that day you've been great friends. Even though you had different classes that also were on different floors you managed to hang out with him quite often. And after a few weeks Yeonjun introduced you to his so called other best friend. That person was Soobin. A freshman just as you, who was in a different class, hence why you hadn’t talked nor seen him before. But still, you fell for him, hard. Not only was he intelligent, funny and kind, he was extremely beautiful. His whole demeanor and appearance was breathtaking. You couldn’t help but take notice at his every feature, slowly ascending into a rabbit hole with nothing to stop you. The more you talked to him the more your love grew. And the fact that he actually saw you as his best friend made your heart skip.

You had hoped for this party to be a great time for you and your friends to dance and have fun. But as soon as you stepped through the wooden door and into the sea off people, you understood that, that wouldn't be the case. Yeonjun made his way towards the kitchen talking to his friend from other schools. Soobin on the other hand, awkwardly made his way towards the living room, trying to keep a low profile. You knew Soobin wasn’t very fond of parties, hence the biggest reason he tried so hard convincing you to come.

“Come on Y/N, I don’t want to take care of Yeonjun alone! Plus, I really like your company..” his words stuck with you, he enjoyed your company? He wanted to spend time with you? You couldn’t help but repeat his phrase in your head. Fixating on every word he said, happy that he wanted to have you around him.

You followed behind closely, trying to not bump into all too many people as the rooms were tightly crowded with all the drunken people. The smell of alcohol being unavoidable. Soobin found an empty wall and leaned towards it, inspecting everyone. While you closely snuck your way past all the people and also leaned toward that white wall.

The music was even louder, the atmosphere humid, as all the drunk sweaty people were jumping up and down to the music. But you couldn’t help but feel an comfortable aura as Soobin stood close to you, smiling a bit to himself. Your heart skipped a beat.

"It's not even 8 pm and people are already wrecked." You started casually, as you looked at all the drunk people roaming around, dancing.

"Yeah, And in about 20 minutes, Yeonjun will become one of them" Soobin answered, looking over at you with a small smile. You let out a chuckle at his funny remark, looking up at him and seeing that beautiful smile of his. Your cheeks felt warm as a smile crept up on your lips.

"Oh well, good thing there's two of us cause we all know that Yeonjun is a two-man-job" you replied, which made Soobin let out a little laugh. The beautiful sound ringing so perfectly in your ears.

"Yeah.." he looked back at the people, keeping that smile. Your heart skipped a beat, and slowly, you felt the urge creeping up on you. You wanted to confess. You knew confessing in a party with music blasting and people being all crazy wasn’t the most romantic, but you couldn’t hold back these feelings anymore. this was the time. You wanted to tell him how you felt.

"Soobin I have something to tell you.." you felt nervous, as your voice evidently shook a bit. your heartbeat speed up, as small sweat drops formed on your forehead. This was more nervwrecking than you thought.

"What is it Y/N?” the way he said your name so softly and how he kept that smile on his beautiful lips. You loved it.

Before you could continue your sentence, a sudden distraction occurred when someone accidentally bumped right into Soobin, falling head first into his arms. Quickly, he grabbed the person by the arms, trying to help the person in question finding their balance. Before you knew it, they looked up. She was stunning, absolutely gorgeous. You almost blushed when you saw her beautiful features complimenting her in every way.

"Oh my god! I am so sorry!" She was evidently embarrassed, her voice not sounding slurred or anything, she was probably a bit more on the sober side. She looked apologetic as she kept apologizing for literally launching at Soobin, but Soobin was kind. Giving her that dimpled smile and telling her that everything was fine.

"No it's okay!" Soobin quickly replied, he took a good look at the girl in front of him, even he looked stunned at her beauty, you noticed a small blush forming on his cheeks. You were paralyzed.

"I was just trying to get to the kitchen and suddenly someone came out of nowhere and pushed me.." the girls voice was soft, and she seemed so sweet. Soobin couldn't help but stare at her fondly, inspecting every bits of her. He was truly mesmerized.

You heart took a turn, this was the last thing you wanted. You confession directly flew out the door. There’s no way you could confess now. Maybe this was for the better..? Never had Soobin ever looked at you that way. You felt defeated.

"Don't worry. We all know being sober in a room with drunk people are bound to cause trouble." Soobin said, making the girl laugh.

"Yeah haha, they love coming out of nowhere.." She continued, and to that you were just watching intently as the girl and Soobin made conversation. It seemed so casual, like they've known each other their whole life. And you could see a faint blush on Soobin’s cheeks.

"My name is Soobin, and yours?"

"Yujin, nice to meet you Soobin" they shook hands, looking at each other with adoration. While completely ignoring you.

You couldn't handle the sight and slowly slinked your way out of the situation. Sure, meeting a new person is fine, especially if they seem as nice as her. But why did they have to ignore you? You were standing right there, watching their moves intently. Couldn’t you at least get a ‘hi’ or an introduction from soobin? No, your presence was too invincible.

You could feel tears pricking your eyes but you tried your hardest keeping them in. You didn't want to cause a scene and especially in front of Soobin. You didn’t come to this party for your own entertainment, you came to support Soobin. If he was happy without your company, then you had to accept it.

Slowly you made your way to a new bare wall, a bit afar from Soobin and Yujin, you could still observe them talking. And so you did, occasionally looking down at your phone and texting a few people. You wanted to go to Yeonjun but he was dancing crazy on the dance floor which you had expected. so you just decided to keep leaning towards that white wall. Luckily, you had your phone, you could distract yourself easily by playing on it for a few hours. Still, the growing feeling of sadness didn’t ease of your mind. You were disappointed to say the least, this was suppose to be a night you confessed. But everything changed so quickly, in a heartbeat.

As time ticked, Soobin and Yujin were still talking. for the first time in a long time, you looked over at them. surprised to see Soobin holding a red cup. When did he get that drink? I didn't even know Soobin liked alcohol.. You shrugged it off, knowing that Soobin is a responsible person and you were just too tired to even think straight.

Quietly, you tapped on Soobin’s shoulder, he looked down at you with surprise.

"Oh hey Y/N. What is it?" His voice was a bit harsh, as if he didn't want to get interrupted talking to Yujin at this time. It made your heart sink, you just wanted to get out of there quickly.

"Hey Soobin soo,” you paused and looked up at him more clearly, he was anticipating your sentence, clearly wanting to go back to whatever him and Yujin talked about. Eager to keep hearing whatever she had to say.

“..I'm really tired and I think I wanna go home now so.."

"Oh.." he didn’t know what else to say, but it was enough for you to understand that you would leave this party alone. You felt you hear crumble, tears pricking your eyes. He had promised to walk you home that night, since he knew it was quite a walk and being a Saturday night it might be dangerous. But now you knew that walking home together were no longer an option. You nodded and made your way out the crashed house, ascending into the dark streets of Seoul.

As soon as you had turned a block, tears fell down you soft red cheeks, and a quiet sobbing followed by that. Thinking back, it was good that you never confessed, cause it was obviously one-sided all along. It was clear that he liked Yujin. You couldn't stop feeling such pain in your chest as you thought back to that scene of him and her talking, just letting you stand by all alone. How he never once, looked over his shoulder to see if you still were there, or even hesitating when he noticed your small disappointed face when he waved you off. He said he enjoyed your company, and he’s suppose to be your best friend. How could one girl make everything change so drastically?

Now you were walking home, alone. Crying, freezing and heartbroken.

You were angry at Soobin for letting this happen, but also angry at yourself. For thinking that you even had a chance with him in the first place.

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

Finally you came home without incident. You locked the door and slipped of you shoes before sluggishly making your way towards your bedroom. The crying had stopped now, but the depressive aura was still there. And so you fell onto your bed letting out a loud sigh.

After playing with your phone for almost 3 hours at the party, it was dead, so you plugged it in and made your way towards the shower. It was nice letting some steam off as you took your time in the warm shower.

You hair now wrapped around in a towel, along with you dressed in a pajamas. You made your way back towards the bed, reaching for your phone on the nightstand and turning it on. Your screen flashes the notification box, showing 5 missed calls and 11 messages from Soobin. You were chocked, why had he so desperately tried contacting you? Quickly you dialed him back.

He picked up immediately.

"Y/N! Aahh, Finally you picked up!” He sounded hysterical, but you heard how his voice tried calmed down, trying to compose his breathing again.

“Where are you? I thought we were going home together." Had he forgotten the whole ‘I want to go home?’ Conversation? This was ridiculous.

"Soobin. I told you that I wanted to go home and you just told me goodbye before continuing talking to that girl.. so I went home alone." You couldn't believe that he actually forgot that conversation because he was so invested in Yujin, which only made you more upset.

Soobin was quiet, probably trying to find his words. After a while, you could hear a tired sigh.

"I- I'm so sorry Y/N. God, I'm such an idiot. Please let me make it up to you.."

You could hear regret in his voice, he felt guilty for sure. but still that sourness didn't disappear,

"I can come over and we can watch a movie or have a sleepover.." you heard the desperate attempt to make his situation better but only silence fell from your lips.

"I don't think that's a good idea right now. I'm really tired so I'm going to bed but, but I guess I'll see you around." You were harsh in your tone, just like he was an hour ago. And to that you hung up before he could even answer you. For some it may seem harsh, but to you it felt like a good start to try forgetting him.

Cause you were now a 100% that being with him would never happen.

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

Early morning came, and you felt the sun shining on your skin. It was a nice October morning, one that you’d have the urge to sit by a cafe and watch the beautiful autumn leaves flow by as the wind drifted them away. The apartment was quiet. And you comfortable woke up to the sound of the city waking up. As you made your way toward the kitchen, wanting to get started on some breakfast. The doorbell rang. Quickly you made your way to the wooden door. Turning the handle without checking who it was first.

"Soobin?" Was the first word that came out, you were chocked to meet eyes with your tall friend. He looked tired, had soft eyebags and messier hair, but he stilled looked stunning. You imagined if that would be how Soobin looked like waking up next to him. Feeling his soft skin and touches.

"Hey can I come in?" Soobin looked at you with sweet eyes while holding up a bag of snacks. You knew this was his way of redemption, trying to make it up to you.

Before you could answer Soobin spoke up again,

"Please, I really want to make it up to you.." his voice still calm, but showing so much emotions. And his eyes pleading with guilt. You couldn't resist him. You were close caving in, inviting him inside and letting him win over you once more. But you had to refuse,

"I'm sorry Soobin, but I'm busy today.." you didn't look up at him to see his reaction, but you noticed how he let out a loud sigh.

"Okay then.. well you can just call me whenever you're free." And with that he set the bag of snacks down and made his way from your door. You promptly closed the door behind him and sighed to yourself. You didn't want to reject him like that, but you also couldn't handle being so hopelessly in love with him. This the best way to dismiss your feelings, in better words. Stop loving him.

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

"Hey Y/N! I’m waiting for you by the ice-cream store already!" Yeonjun’s positive tone made you feel better.

"Okay sure, I’ll be there in 10 minutes." A faint chuckle let out from your lips.

"Okay! Bye!" And to that you hung up the phone.

It has gone by a few weeks since that party. And your terms with Soobin wasn't the best at the moment. He had stopped trying to make it up to you, which seemed like a good thing, but he started seeing Yujin more and more. Apperantly they exchanged phone numbers and they've been going out together. Jealousy overcame you, you didn't want this to happen. But still, you can’t control how Soobin felt towards other, this was your problem to bare. Your selfishness was the reasoning for this. So you had to make up for it by yourself.

You quickly slipped on your shoes before heading out the door.

After a 5 minute walk you saw the mentioned Ice-cream shop that you and Yeonjun wanted to try out. Yeonjun stood outside the shop, tall and handsome, and along side him was... Soobin.

You cursed Yeonjun for not telling you that Soobin also were invited, you were in the middle of operation-forget-Soobin and it was impossible if Soobin was in your presence. You knew that as soon as you met his beautiful eyes you were bound cave in once more. But there was no turning back now, Yeonjun spotted you and loudly shouted for you to hurry. And so you did. Soobin looked at you, his eyes inspecting your every move. you could feel your heartbeat quicken. This was awkward, you haven't answered any of Soobin’s texts or phone calls and now you were on your merry way to meet him face to face.

"I'm so excited, I've been craving Ice-cream the whole day!" Yeonjun put his arm around you before happily entering the shop. It was a lot of people there, hence it being a new place. You stood at the queue and waited. Soobin was behind you. you could feel his gaze watch over you as you tried your best to ignore him. His presence was unbearable, and your heartbeat kept quickening.

Slowly he leaned closer to you and bent down towards your ear.

"You look nice today.." his tone was sweet and soft. Your breath hitched at his action. Dammit Soobin. You tried your best to continue ignoring him, instead looking over at Yeonjun and tried starting a conversation.

“Should I get Oreos or caramel as a topping?”

......

After 10 minutes you all had finally gotten the ice-cream you craved and stood outside the shop in the nice October sunlight. Digging in immediately. Yeonjun enjoyed his ice-cream loudly, complimenting it every second he got. Soobin on the other hand was gentle and licked small portions, not making any sound at all. It impressed you that such different people can become such good friends.

There was an awkward silence between the three of you, which only you and Soobin noticed. Yeonjun was too invested in his ice-cream to even notice the tension you and Soobin had built up.

It was uncomfortable, feeling Soobin’s eyes pierce onto you, trying to get your attention. At this point you knew he was desperate for winning you back. He missed his best friend. But you didn't oblige, you kept the determination to ignore him and stared at the ice-cream, trying to wave off his intensive stare.

Yeonjun finished of his ice-cream with a loud sigh and looked at you with a big smile.

"Best mint chocolate ice-cream I've ever had!" He chuckled as he made his way towards the door.

"Wait, where are you going?" You asked quickly, he pointed towards the inside and mumbled about tissues. Before you could intervene and follow him inside he closed the door behind him.

Making you and Soobin stand outside there all alone.

Curse you Yeonjun for being so ignorant, there's no way you can make it out of this situation without awkward tension.

You let out a loud sigh and looked down at the ground. Continuing to lick your ice-cream. Soobin was quiet, but he kept his stare. You just wanted this situation to end as quick as possible.

"Y/N, I know you're angry at me.. I know I screwed up.." he started, you could hear his voice cracking a bit. But you didn't dare to look up at his expression. You kept listening,

"But please, listen to me when I tell you that I am genuinely sorry. I miss you, you know.." his tone was desperate, he truly meant every word. You knew him long enough to know how he sounds like when he's at the point of breaking.. At this point, you couldn’t take it anymore. The feeling of neglecting everything you have inside your heart was breaking you slowly, and you just couldn't take it.

You were quiet for a bit, but you let out a small sigh before starting,

"Soobin, I just feel so betrayed and disappointed.. you left me.. because of this girl, like this new girl was more important than your.. best friend.." you sounded so selfish and pathetic as your strong voice ended with a quiet whimpering as tears prickled your eyes. Soobin looked confused, his lips were trembling, so were his hands. But slowly he reached out to your hand. His soft touch feeling your cold hand. He held onto it and started caressing it with his thumb.

"I am sorry.." his voice was low, and he cursed at himself for not giving you a better respond, but he didn't know what to say. For being such a cool headed guy, he never knew what to do in situations like these. When someone was deeply hurt and the reasoning for it, was him.

As he looked down at you, something in his mind wasn't adding up. He still couldn't put a finger down why you were so disappointed as you were. Sure, the situation at hand was not something to just look past, but your demeanor and reaction was a bit different for a thing like this.

"Y/N, I am truly sorry.. I'm sorry for leaving you, ignoring you and forgetting you.." you just nodded as a response, keeping your head low.

“I will never do that again, ever. You are so important to me, and I don’t want to hurt you again.” He once again sounded desperate, but you knew his words were genuine. He really did treasure your friendship. Before you could respond, he started,

"But I need to know.., is there something else that I've done towards you?" His question took you by surprise. You knew Soobin wouldn't be satisfied with nothing but the truth. So you opted the only option left, It was time to say it. Your voice was trembling, and you slowly looked up at his eyes, tears prickling at your own. Slowly you opened your mouth, wording.

"Soobin.. I'm in love with you.."

you voice was shaking, and your heart at this point was about to burst. His eyes widened at the statement, and he let go of your hand.

It fell quiet between the two of you, only the city ambiance filling the quietness between you.

Say something dammit.. this was nervwrecking. He was just staring at you with wide eyes, not expecting to hear such deep words coming from you. You couldn’t help but fiddle with your fingers, waiting and waiting for his answer.

Just say something! Anything..!

He was quiet, shocked. You couldn’t take it anymore. You spoke up, tears now falling.

"I know you don't like me back, because of the way you.. look at her, I just know.." Soobin was quiet, his mind was in chaos trying to register and analyze what you just said.

"I'm.. sorry.." his voice was trembling, just like yours. He once again cursed himself for not giving you a better answer, here you are spilling you heart out, being vulnerable. And all he could do was say sorry. idiot.

you gave him a small nodded, as a appreciative smile crept up on your lips. You were grateful that the answer was clear as day, and that you could finally move on. You backed away a bit.

"It was nice while it lasted, you were a good friend Soobin.. and I hope you treat her well.." you couldn’t be there anymore, there was no reason to keep seeing that face he made. He looked shocked, almost in disbelief. It was too much to bare.

you turned around and threw what was left of the ice-cream into the trash bin. Before quickly walking away, leaving Soobin alone. He knew following you was pointless, it would just make the situation at hand worse. But he couldn’t help but to feel guilt and regret creeping up on him. Why couldn’t he say what he really thought..?

Yeonjun finally came out after a couple of minutes.

"Sorry for making you wait so long, I went to the restroom as well soo.." he trailed off when he noticed that you had left.

"Where did Y/N go.? Did they also go to the restroom?” Yeonjun looked over at Soobin, who was now looking down onto the pavement.

"They didn't feel well and went home.." Soobin said, a very blunt and obvious lie. Yeonjun sensed it, but he didn’t want to further question, this wasn’t his business. A loud sigh escaped his lips.

"That’s too bad, I really like hanging out with them.." Yeonjun was visibly upset. Scratching his head roughly.

"Yeah, Me too..”

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

A/N:

God I absolutely love pure angst, and I’ve always had a thing for unrequited love. Idk why

I wanted to end this in a sad note once again, hope you don’t mind :,)

I’ll probably do a more fluff next time and I was leaning against Yeonjun or Hueningkai. But I’m not sure.

If you have any ideas or suggestions, go ahead and send them in my ask box! I’d love to hear your ideas!

Either way, I want to say thank you for all the amazing response I got from Rainy Days. I was so nervous when posting but you all are so sweet!

Ty for reading, Byeee❤️

This work belongs to @Beomeli on tumblr. Please do not trace or copy my work ©

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racheloveyunho · 3 years

Text

Till Death do us part - 1

Y/N grew up in a wealthy family, she always was seen as a beautiful and smart kid and was most likely to take her father’s place as the CEO of one of the most important companies in South Korea. However, after the death of her mother, Y/N’s family slowly started to break apart. Her father was always working to forget his uncalled pain while his kids were left alone at home.

She was 17 years old when her life took a sudden turn when she met him in a dark alley. He was a bloody mess, bruises everywhere but behind blood and dirt, she could see his beautiful features and his addictive gaze. Maybe she should have walked away, maybe she shouldn’t have helped him, but the moment his gaze locked with hers, she was already his.

Choi San was his name.

Genre: Mafia AU, angst, fluff, stranger to lovers

Words: 2486

TW: Y/N is described as an OC. Please be aware that this story will contain a lot of triggering content such as smut, blood, death, murder, drug, kidnapping, etc. Do not read if you are under a legal age!

Chapter 1

I still wonder what would have happened if I didn’t meet him during this gloomy night? We were young and I was way too brave for my own good. Maybe it was my faith or maybe it was a sheer coincidence but now, I know that I will love him till death do us part.

---------

5 years ago.

"Hey Y/N, wake up sleepyhead! It’s time to go to school and I will surely not wait for the princess to wake up" my brother yelled loudly from the first floor, waking me up in the process.

I groaned and shifted uncomfortably in my bed; it was too much noise at such an early time of the day. My long-browned hair was messy from the last night, as always. I was the type of girl to move a lot during my sleep and my morning head was always a funny one, swollen, with small eyes and with some of my lightly curled hair stuck in my mouth. After five minutes of rethinking my life decisions, I found enough motivation to get out of my bed and walked down the stairs.

"Why the hell did I agree to help other students during holidays, huh?” I asked my brother as I lazily rubbed my tummy.

“Maybe because you are too dumb to say no to your teachers?” he answered, his mouth full of food.

“Do you mind keeping your mouth shut while you are eating? It’s disgusting.” I shook my head disapprovingly.

I headed toward the kitchen to get a cup of fresh milk. Jin, my brother, childishly opened his mouth wide to show me the content of it. I let out a long “Ew!” before smashing his arm playfully.

“No, but seriously Y/N. There’s no use to be brilliant at school if that means you have to help your classmates with their studies during holidays” Jin said after taking a sip of his coffee.

“Yeah, but the teacher who asked me this favor told me that he will write a recommendation for me if I agreed to help him” I answered.

“You don’t even need a recommendation, we’re from a rich family” Jin mumbled to himself but it was loud enough for me to hear it.

He wasn’t totally wrong and I knew it. We were born with a silver spoon in our mouth. We were “cake eater” as the other kids used to call us when we were younger, we never knew what it felt like to run out of money and everyone at school was jealous of me because of that.

But they didn’t know. No one knew how hard it actually was for me and my brother.

My mother passed away 2 years ago, and since then, my father didn’t stay at home with us longer than a week straight. He was always working, working, and working again, his job had literally become his life. He was one of the richest men in Korea and still, he was always eager for more and worked every day and night for it.

He wasn’t a good father for me and Jin. He never made any compliments to us, all he was able to do was to pressure us to be as perfect as possible or at least perfect enough to not ashamed him and his reputation. Unlike my brother, I wanted to hear my father say that he was proud of me, just for once. That’s why I was trying hard to be the perfect daughter, with good grades, good manners, and good appearance but even if I tried my best, it wasn’t enough for him.

“Do you know why I’m working so hard, Jin?” I asked him, voice as soft as a whisper, almost not daring to tell the truth.

“Why?” Jin put a hand on the top of mine, a sign of comfort since he already knew my upcoming answer.

“I don’t want to follow his rules forever. I’m still a minor so I had to stick at them but when I’ll turn 20, I will leave this house and will never come back” I sadly stated, “I want to marry a man I’m in love with, I want to do a job I like and most of all, I don’t want our father to commend my life.”

Jin tightened his grip on my hand. He understood me, he understood me too well. We were indeed rich but we were far from being happy. Jin was 6 years older than me which means he was already an adult. He wanted to leave this house as much as me but couldn’t bring himself to do so and leave me behind.

Unlike me, Jin has never been a good student, he always has been considered a failure to our father, and even if he finally was able to run away from here, he stayed there for me. I was really lucky to have a brother like him and I was well aware of that.

I took my breakfast and came back to my room to take a quick shower and get ready for this day I knew would be exhausting.

My brother was already waiting in his car. Jin took me to school as often as he could. He was working on a supermarket he owned and even if he was pretty busy, he wanted to spend his mornings with his “sweet baby sister” as he liked to call me.

I am indeed lucky to have a brother like him.

8 pm, it was already late when I heard the bell ring for the last time today. I was the last one to leave the class as I helped my teacher with the preparation of some material for the next day. It didn’t bother me too much, I wasn’t in a hurry to get home since I knew my dad was finally coming back home from his work.

In all honesty, I didn’t want to see him. I didn’t miss him at all, even after all this time. I wandered here and there even though the street was already pitch black.

“Oh! It’s been a while since I last went to the haunted alley!” I happily exclaimed to myself.

I knew every nook and cranny of Seoul, I grew up there after all. My favorite place was the haunted alley. As its name suggests and according to some beliefs, that path would be haunted.

It was an old story I heard with my friends when I was less than 10 years old. A grandma from our neighborhood scolded us and told us not to stay there because there was a woman who had been murdered in the walkway and that since then, one could hear her cry every night.

A simple way to scare naïve kids you may think, and you are more than right. However, this story is known by everyone, not just by kids. That’s the reason why I love this place, thanks to all of these rumors, no one uses this path except me. It was like my secret place.

I walked around the alley with heavy steps, thinking about my father and his upcoming lecture about how to be a good girl. My thoughts were suddenly stopped by the voice of two men who seemed to be fighting each other. I stayed still for a moment, trying to figure out where the noises were coming from.

“You piece of shit! And you claim yourself as the Boss” son?” One voice laughed.

I hid in the dark and saw what could have been mistaken with a scene from a horror movie. Between two old houses, a tall man was beating up a boy who seemed to be around my age.

I felt shivers down my spine but before I could even think straight, my body started to move with its own will.

“Hey! Let him go!” I shouted, my voice betraying me by showing how scared I really was.

I moved closer to the two men, I could now see them more clearly.

The young boy was sitting on the ground, badly bleeding, whereas the tall man was standing in front of him, blood on his hand and his nose broken.

They were watching me. The silence was heavy, the only thing I could hear was the beating of my racing heart and the shake of my knees that were begging me to run away from this place. The silence was soon replaced by an ominous laugh.

“Wow. What a beauty! Is she your girlfriend? Huh?” The tall man laughed and hit the youngest on his stomach before coming closer to me.

He came closer, until he was in front of me. I had a better view of his poor state. He wasn’t less bleeding than the other man, his blood was actually covering his whole face.

I don’t know what had taken into me at this exact moment, the adrenaline was rushing in my veins and even though my feet were stuck on the ground, unable to move, my hand reached the pepper spray I always carried in my bag. Before the man could react, I used my weapon against him.

When the chemical product had reached his eyes, he screamed and placed his hands on his face, trying desperately to soothe the pain. I took advantage of the situation and kicked him as hard as I could on his crotch before he fell loudly on the ground.

I quickly grabbed the boy by his arm and helped him stand up. He was badly injured but followed me without any complaint.

I was panting when I reached a lighted street. We stopped there, trying to catch our breath. I turned around to face the man I was still holding and my breath hitched in my throat, not from the run I previously had but because of how beautiful this man looked.

“Are you okay? What is your name?” I asked him but he simply stayed silent, staring at me with his piercing eyes.

I took a better look at his features, he was really handsome with a well-defined face. He wasn't older than me but he hadn't the body of a teenager either. His broad shoulders and his arms muscles could be seen without any effort from him. His dark hair was harmonizing with the dark of his eyes and his dimples were visible as the border of his lips turned upright in an inviting smirk.

How can someone like him be involved in such a fight?

“The sight is at your taste?” he giggled, his smile spreading wider.

I finally took notice of my staring when I heard him laugh. I must say it was the most beautiful laugh I ever heard, slightly high-pitched but almost bewitching.

“I wasn’t staring!” I shouted from embarrassment. Fortunately, the darkness of the night was covering the redness on my cheeks.

“Sure, you weren’t” He added, amused by my reaction “I’m San. Choi San. I didn’t need your help earlier but thank you, I’m glad you rescued me”

He came closer to me and gave me a sincere smile, showing even more his dimples.

My heart was going crazy in my chest. This boy seemed small earlier compared to the other man but he was way taller than me, maybe 7 inches taller.

“You’re welcome”

I was a bit intimidated by him but I dared not to look away. He had something special, an aura that seemed as dangerous as comforting. His gaze was intense and deep, it was like he was looking through me, memorizing every detail of my face.

He didn’t move and didn’t talk for at least 2 minutes and even if I was feeling uncomfortable, I did my best not to let him know.

“Where is your house?” he finally asked after what felt like an eternity.

He startled me with his sudden question, I didn’t expect him to talk this soon. Why did he want to know where I lived? He probably wanted to walk me home and I would have gladly let this handsome guy walk me home if I hadn’t met him in an odd situation.

‘But he is really handsome…’ I thought, sighing softly, making San arch an eyebrow.

“It’s okay, I live near here, no need to walk me home. You can go ahead…” I said “Go ahead to…the hospital, your house or…go murdering someone…whichever comes first” I added, lowering my voice at the end of my sentence.

His face changed into a surprised expression “I wasn’t going to walk you home, don’t worry”

I sighed in relief even if I felt a bit disappointed, maybe he wasn't that bad after all.

“I want to stalk you” he stared at me with his beautiful smile as if it was the most natural thing to say.

‘What the fuck?’

“Sure, stalking me haha, it was obvious, silly me!” I gently hit my head and laughed awkwardly, taking a step back from him.

He laughed sweetly and took my chin between his thumb and his index to lift my face up. His mouth came closer to my ear and he whispered a small “Just joking” before turning his heels back and leaving me, alone, in the dark street.

I was finally back home. Fortunately for me, my dad hadn’t noticed me since he was already sleeping on the couch.

I quickly went upstairs to my room and collapsed on my bed, my mind still processing what had happened earlier. It was scary to say the least but fascinating at the same time. I was still confused even after showering. This San had a deep effect on me, not only mentally but physically too.

“Choi San…” I muttered before closing my eyes and drifting into a deep sleep.

---------

This is my first story, it’s bad but I’ll try to improve myself!

This series will be uploaded slowly since I don't have a lot of time.

Thank you for reading!

#choi san #san ateez #san #mafia ateez #mafia au #ateez scenario #ateez au #kpop #kpop mafia #ateez angst #ateez fluff #strangers to lovers #ateez series

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the-bau-quinjet · 3 years

Text

Next Time

Peter Parker x Rogers!reader

Summary: You and Peter make plans for "next time", not realizing just how quickly they would happen.

Warnings: none! Just fluff :)

Word Count: 3504

a/n: My first real Peter fic! So this is a sort of sequel to 16 hours isn't enough. I was just feeling inspired, but this focuses more on the readers relationship with Peter! You don't have to read the first part to understand this one.

Masterlist

“I’m gonna go out with Ned and MJ tomorrow, celebrate our day off. Do you wanna come?” You and Peter had just gotten back from patrolling, and it was already 2 am. He's hopeful that you'll want to spend more time with him, but given the guilty look on your face, he doesn't think your answer is going to be positive.

“I would love to, but I need to sleep for at least 15 hours. Maybe I can come next time? If we ever have another day off.” He can't help but laugh, completely understanding the feeling.

“Trust me, I get it. Next time works. Add in a 16th hour, you deserve it.” He smiles at your yawn, thinking about how cute you look when you're tired.

“Thanks Pete.” You both laugh when you yawn again. “16 hours might not even be enough.” He relishes in the feeling of your hug before heading to the elevator.

He decided to head back to Queens tonight so he could sleep in a little longer. He can definitely relate to your need for sleep, being a teenage avenger is an exhausting schedule to maintain.

The next morning, nearly afternoon, Peter finally gets out of bed. Having slept for 8 hours, he definitely understands what you were saying last night.

Still, he's a little bummed he won't be seeing you today. He gets ready anyway, texting MJ and Ned. The three of them decide to go to Delmar's for lunch and wing it from there.

After ordering their usual sandwiches, the trio heads outside to eat.

"I thought you were going to invite Y/N?" MJ starts the interrogation as soon as the three have sat down.

"I did, but she was exhausted, said she was going to sleep all day." He's bummed again at not seeing you, but he still understands.

"Oh man, I'm sorry dude." Ned responds, feeling bad for his friend.

"It's fine. I get it. I definitely could have slept for another 8 hours." Peter shrugs it off, not wanting to dwell on it.

"What should we do now?" Ned poses the question, looking at his friends.

"I don't know. Something fun though, I never have free time anymore." Peter complains, although his friends can tell he's mostly joking.

"I haven't been to Coney Island in a while. What if we go ride all the rides and make fun of the scaredy cats?" MJ suggests.

The two boys agree, finishing up their sandwiches and heading to the subway.

After a horrendous 2 hour subway ride, the three teens finally arrive at the theme park.

MJ drags the two of them from ride to ride, excitedly- but subtly- pointing out the strangers who look like they're going to puke.

Peter does his best not to think about you while he's there. He can't help but remember all the times you told him about going to Coney Island with your dad though. You absolutely loved your father daughter days.

"Dude, isn't that Y/N?" Ned smacks Peter on the shoulder, pointing toward the line for the slingshot ride.

"I thought you said she was sleeping all day..." MJ worriedly looks toward where Ned's pointing.

"Um, yeah. That's what she told me. It probably just looks like her." Peter doesn't want to turn around. He doesn't want to know.

"No, dude. That's definitely her." Ned keeps gawking, trying to get Peter to look. "Why is she with Captain America?"

Peter perks up at that, understanding what must have happened. "He's here too? He was supposed to be on a mission until Tuesday!" He finally turns around, easily spotting you and your dad in line for the ride.

He can't help but stare at how beautiful you are. His smile grows as he takes in your tired, but excited expression.

"Um, care to share your findings with the group?" MJ shoves his arm, trying to get his attention back.

"Huh? Oh! Right." Peter laughs at himself. "He wasn't supposed to be back until Tuesday, they must be having a father daughter day. She told me how they used to always go to Coney Island as an escape from the superhero life." Peter grins, remembering the first time you told him about missing spending time with your dad. He's happy you're finally getting just that.

"What?! Why didn't you tell us she was Captain America's daughter? That's so cool!" Ned finally turns back, staring wide eyed at Peter.

"I introduced her as Y/N Rogers... I kind of thought it was implied." Peter looks back and forth between his friends. It's clear MJ knew, but Ned is genuinely surprised.

"I'm honestly not even surprised you didn't put that together Ned." MJ shakes her head at the boy. "Now, what should we get for dinner?"

"Ohh, hot dogs! It's a Coney Island classic!" And just like that Ned's attention has been diverted. Peter can't help but steal one more glance at you.

You're clearly having a good time. It looks like you've finally convinced Steve to go on the slingshot if the cautious smile on his face means anything. He watches as you jump up and down, hugging your dad with a big bear hug.

He smiles at how happy you are before turning and following his friends to the hot dog stand.

Peter didn't see you at all on Sunday. Normally, the two of you would at least do some homework together, but you hadn't responded to any of his texts.

Around 10 pm, his phone finally dings indicating two new texts from you.

I'm so sorry! I slept so late today, I panicked and forced Tony to help me with my homework so I could get it done faster.

Did you get yours done? I can try to help you :)

haha, I thought you were going to sleep all day yesterday? And, yeah I got mine done. Thanks for the offer though! 😄

I was definitely planning to sleep all day. My dad got back early and surprised me with a father daughter day though. I didn't have the heart to tell him I was exhausted. 😴 I powered through a full day of hot dogs, amusement park rides, McDonald's, and a movie 😊

He was about to respond when another text came through.

Okay, admittedly I fell asleep halfway through the movie... but still

Honestly, Peter was glad to hear the confirmation that you hadn't lied to him. He didn't think you would, but it still calmed any unnecessary anxiety to know exactly what happened.

Well, I'm glad you got caught up on sleep today then. I actually was at Coney Island on Saturday too, what a crazy coincidence 😂

Peter...

Did you see me at Coney Island?

Damn, you know me too well... I did, but I saw your dad too so I figured you were having a father daughter day!

I just didn't want to sound creepy... 😳

Not creepy, just a coincidence...

we should go together sometime 😊

Peter nearly dropped his phone when the second text came through. Were you asking him out? Was it just a friend thing? Shit, he really needs to respond.

For sure!

Peter can't help but think he sounds like an idiot. "For sure?" Who says that?!

I mean, that would be great. Our next day off?

For sure! 😉

Oh god. He was definitely in for it now.

Yours and Peters next day off came a lot faster than he expected. Normally, you would go months without a whole day off.

Maybe Steve was worried about you, or maybe it was Tony. Maybe it was just a lack of bad guys, but not even two weeks later you were both given a day off.

"So, do you still want to go to Coney Island?" You were nervous to be asking Peter about your conversation a few weeks ago, but you wanted to spend time with him.

"Yeah, definitely! You'll have to show me all your favorite rides." he smiled, glad you brought it up so he wouldn't have to. "I can pick you up tomorrow at 8?"

"Sounds perfect. Not too early, but still early enough to get there before the crowds." You smiled. If he wanted to pick you up, maybe he thought it was a date...

You hugged him, lingering a little more than usual in his arms. "i'll see you tomorrow, Pete."

He blushed at the nickname, as usual. "Goodnight, Y/N."

The two of you went your separate ways, each freaking out about what the other was thinking.

The next morning, you were pacing around the kitchen in the compound, freaking out. You didn't want to make a fool out of yourself on this maybe date.

"Morning, sweet pea. What's on your mind?" Your dad walked in, getting ready to make his post-run smoothie. One look at your frazzled pacing, and he knew something was up.

You froze instantly. You hadn't even thought about telling your dad. "Oh, um... nothing?" You winced, knowing hoe unconving that was.

Steve laughed, even more intrigued now. "Come on, you can tell me. What's going on?"

"Well... I maybe have a date today..." You said the words slowly, unsure of how he would react. You hadn't talked to your dad much about dating.

His first question surprised you. "Maybe?"

You breathed a sigh of relief, glad he didn't immediately freak out. Unbeknownst to you, on the inside he was screaming.

"Well, yeah. I don't know if it's a date or not." Your nerves were back, displayed by your continued pacing.

"Do you want it to be a date?" Again, his question was calmer than you anticipated.

You didn't even need to think about your answer. "I do, but I don't know if he does. That's why it's a maybe."

He nodded, seeming to think about your predicament. "Nat! Can you come in here for a minute?"

You froze again, unprepared to share your maybe date plans with another Avenger.

"What's up, Cap?" She smiled at you, clearly having an idea as to what this could be about.

"Y/N maybe has a date." Her smile grew, clearly her idea was on the right track.

"Maybe, huh?" She turned back to Steve, trying to figure out why exactly he needed her help.

"Yeah, so can you help us figure out if it's an actual date?" You smiled at your dad, surprised but thankful for his actions.

"Of course! Tell me everything, how did you plan it?" She sat down at the island, listening intently as you explained your text conversation with Peter that day, leaving out only the fact that it was Peter.

You went on to describe the conversation you had with him yesterday, again leaving Peter's name out of it.

"Well, from what you described I can definitely see why you're confused. You've been friends with this guy for awhile?"

You nodded, even more nervous to hear your confusion is justified. She nodded to herself, seemingly pondering all the information that was presented.

"I think it's a date." You froze for the third time, unsure if that made your nerves better or worse. "But, you'll know for sure when he picks you up. If it's just a friend thing, he'll probably wear what he always wears. If he thinks it's a date, he'll probably dress a little nicer. He'll want to impress you." She winked as she rose from her chair.

"Thank you!" You rushed around the island, pulling her into a hug. Now you've at least got a plan as to how to figure out if this is a date or not.

"No problem, kiddo. I'm happy to help with girl stuff." She winked at Steve, heading out of the kitchen.

"So, you gonna tell me who this maybe date is with?" There's the questions you were expecting.

Before you could even think of a response, the doorbell rang. "Gotta go, love you!" You planted a kiss on his cheek, rushing out of the room before he could question you.

As you ran out, Tony wondered in just in time to hear Steve ask "Friday, who just rang the doorbell?"

"Mr. Parker, Captain."

Steve nearly choked on his smoothie.

"What's that about, Capsicle?" Tony asked, taken by surprise at the man's reaction.

"Peter Parker is taking my daughter on a maybe date." He said it with a sense of caution, unsure how to feel. To his joy, Tony nearly choked on the water he was drinking.

You were nervous to open the door, but excited to test Nat's theory. It made sense when you thought about it. you yourself dressed a little nicer than normal for your day with Peter.

Instead of jeans and a tee, you opted for a colorful t-shirt dress. It was still casual, and comfortable enough for a day at a theme park, but nicer than normal.

You flung the door open, immediately pulling Peter in for a hug. "Hi!" You were slightly out of breath from running from the kitchen, but Peter didn't say anything about it.

"You look really pretty." Peter blushed, squeezing you tightly.

"Thank you. You look very handsome." You couldn't stop the smile from growing as you took in his outfit. He had on a pair of khakis and a long sleeve button up. He still looked casual, but definitely nicer than normal.

"Thanks. You ready to go?" He held his arm out when you nodded, guiding you to the car when you took it.

You didn't know what to expect on the car ride, so you were pleasantly surprised when Peter put on some music. A few songs in, you recognized it as a playlist you made him of your favorite songs. Your heart melted a bit at the realization.

When you arrived at the park, Peter rushed to open your door for you. It was a tradition you never understood, but you blushed anyway, accepting his hand as you rose from the seat.

"What do you want to do first?" He lead you toward the entrance with a hand on your back, again taking you by surprise.

"Oh, well it makes the most sense to do the big rides first, before the lines get too long!" You were instantly in planning mode, creating the best route for you to get on all the best rides.

You eagerly pulled Peter through the park, holding his hand to guide him. It wasn't uncommon for you to grab his hand and drag him somewhere, but you felt a little bolder today. When you got to the first line, you intertwined your fingers, continuing to hold his hand as you waited.

The next few rides went the same way. You pulled Peter from one roller coaster to the next until lunch time.

"Do you want to get some lunch?" He intertwined your hands this time, causing butterflies to erupt in your stomach.

"Sure! Let's go to Paul's Daughter, yeah? Dad and I had hot dogs last time." You scrunched up your face at the idea of eating more hot dogs.

Peter couldn't stop the smile from growing on his face as he took in your adorable expression. "I had hot dogs last time too."

The two of you just stared at each other smiling until someone bumped into trying to get around the boardwalk.

You laughed, squeezing his hand. The two of you strolled down the boardwalk until you made it to the restaurant.

You happily ate your burgers and fries, talking about anything and everything that came up.

After eating, you continued to walk along the boardwalk, giving yourself time to digest before doing anything else.

"Did you want to go to the arcade area?" Peter questioned, trying to make sure you did everything you wanted.

"Sure, we can play some games! Fair warning, I've had lots of practice. You can't get mad if I beat you." You couldn't help but tease him a bit.

"Darling, you wound me." He playfully slaps his hands over his heart, giving you his best puppy eyes. "Did you forget about my spidey senses?"

You laugh alongside him at his antics, genuinely having fun with him. All of your earlier nerves seem so unnecessary as you stare at his smiling face.

"Yeah, yeah spider boy. Let's see what you can do."

Unsurprisingly, Peter beat you at nearly every game you played. You might be a force to reckon with in hand to hand, but when it comes to throwing rings at bottles, he's got you beat.

True to every rom com ever made, Peter wins you a giant blue elephant. You're not even annoyed at losing, having experienced it over and over with your dad.

It's going on 8 pm when you finally finish playing games. You gave most of the prizes to little kids you passed, only keeping the elephant. You wanted something to remember this day by.

"Is there anything else you want to do?" You smile at Peter, letting him decide your final activity.

"I've always wanted to ride the ferris wheel..." He answered honestly, leaving out the part about kissing you at the top.

"Then ride the ferris wheel we shall!" He laughed at your over the top expression, smiling as you again dragged him by his hand.

The two of you slid into the last open seat on the ride, sitting next to each other with the elephant across from you.

You gleefully looked out over the park, smiling and pointing at all the lights.

"We never stayed this late when I was younger. I was always so tired, so we'd leave and get McDonald's on the way home." You smiled as you remembered countless father daughter days. "The lights look so pretty."

"Absolutely breathtaking." Peter whispers, not having taken his eyes of you for the duration of the ride. When the ride stops, the two of you are at the very top.

A slight breeze cause you to shiver, leaning into Peter for warmth. He puts his arm around your shoulders, pulling you closer.

His other hand reaches up to brush your hair out of your face, and just like that you can barely breathe. His hand lingers on your cheek, eyes roaming your face.

You both lean a little closer, ready to take this next step when the ride jerks, causing each of you to jump back in shock. You lean your head on his shoulder for the duration of the ride, cursing the bad timing.

When you get off the ferris wheel, Peter guides you back to the car. Again, you're half expecting the ride to be a little awkward, but Peter doesn't let it happen.

The two of you continue talking about life, reminiscing on stories from when you were younger. Before you know it, your back at the compound.

Again, Peter gets out to open your door, taking the chivalry thing very seriously. He walks you to the door, painfully aware of your almost kiss on the ferris wheel.

"I had a really good time today, Pete. Thank you." You lean in, kissing him ever so lightly on the cheek.

You purposefully linger close to his face, willing him to give you a sign that he's on the same page.

His hands frame your face as he pulls you in for a kiss. You melt into each other, eagerly reciprocating the kiss until you need to pull away for air.

"Goodnight, Y/N." Peter whispers, his face still only millimeters from yours.

"Goodnight, Peter." You whisper back, planting a final quick kiss on his lips before going inside.

You lean back against the door, relishing in the feeling of his lips on yours. Eventually, you walk through the compound, heading for the elevators.

Unsurprisingly, Natasha, Tony, and your dad are all sitting in the common room you have to pass through.

Before you can ever utter a greeting, your dad is talking. "Parker, really?" Your not surprised that he figured it out, he probably just asked Friday. You are surprised at his tone of voice though. It almost sounds approving.

"Yeah..." Your answer is cautious, unsure of where this is going.

"I'm happy for you sweet pea, he's a good kid." You hug your dad, glad to know he's not going to ban you from seeing him. You wouldn't have expected him to react so drastically, but you’re still surprised by the calmness.

"Thanks, dad. I love you."

"I love you too." He rubs your back until you pull away, ready to head to bed.

Before you can leave the room, Nat asks the question all three adults have been wondering. "What's the verdict? Date or not a date?"

You were nearly out of the room when she asked, looking over your shoulder when you reach the doorway. Your face betrays the answer before your voice does, wearing a small, but loving smile. You involuntarily squeeze the elephant closer, hugging the giant stuffed animal closer to your body.

"Definitely a date."

#peter parker x reader #peter parker x you #peter parker x y/n #peter parker x rogers!reader #steve rogers x daughter!reader #marvel fic #natasha romanoff #tony stark #marvel

247 notes · View notes

kireimarkeu · 3 years

Text

Day 1 ◑; l.mk

+repost!

summary; what its like to have mark lee as your college boyfriend for a whole month :3

5k words

+Day 1, Monday, 6:00 AM

You let out a whine when you hear the alarm ring from Mark's phone. You hit his chest repeatedly, eyes still closed, eyebrows furrowed in annoyance.

"Switch it off~" you whine, cuddling closer to his chest, pulling his arm around you to cover your ears from the blaring sound.

Mark opened his eyes but soon squinted at the bright light. He rubbed his eyes harshly, leaning up a little to turn off the noisy sound.

He looked down at you, a lazy smile plastered on his lips. Quickly, Mark leaned down to press his lips against your forehead.

"I'll go shower first, I’ll wake you up when I’m done, okay?"

You didn't reply, instead, you turn around to continue sleeping, hugging the pillows this time. Mark couldn't help but laugh at how cute you were. Shaking his head, he removed the arm that you were holding and got up to get ready for the first day of the final year in college.

Almost an hour later, you were seated down on the chair, facing the mirror as you applied make up on your face.

Once Mark saw you place the mascara back in place, "done?"

You nodded at your boyfriend and grabbed your bag that was laying on the bed.

"Let's go," you mouthed, reaching out to hold Mark's hand.

You thanked god every day that college was only walking distance from your place. You didn't need to wake up too early and you won't be too late if you overslept.

+Day 2, Tuesday, 12:59 PM

You stared at your lecturer, your cheeks resting against your palm. You gave up on taking down notes– you had the whole lecture recorded anyways.

Finally, after 2 hours of non-stop accounting, the lecturer dismissed the class.

You fished out your phone after packing all your things quickly.

You: babe

You: are you done?

Usually, your boyfriend would reply to you instantly, but this time, he was taking some time. You pouted a little but continued to leave class.

Once you walked through the door, you saw Mark leaning against the locker, waiting for you. When he finally saw you, a grin spread across his lips.

"Mark!" you squealed, running up to your cute boyfriend, wrapping your arms around his torso, mark squeezed you against his chest.

"Hi, babe," he leaned down to press his lips on your cold cheeks. Mark reached to grab your hand in his, he was surprised at how cold your hand were. "Your hands are so cold!" he gasped, his hands rubbing over yours to warm yours up.

"I just got out of an air-conditioned room, dummy," you giggled. You tugged at his hand, "Lets goooo~" you whined, "I’m hungry."

Mark and you met a little more than a year ago through mutual friends. The first time both of you met, you barely noticed Mark. He was so quiet. Too quiet.

But Mark noticed you ever since you walked through the cafe's door. He was usually a noisy guy– someone who enjoyed laughing and smiling at everything. But once he saw you, he didn't want to embarrass himself and opted to be silent the whole night.

You were so pretty. So kind, and so carefree. He liked you. The next day, he forced Jaehyun to give him your number.

Ever since then, both of you instantly clicked and he finally asked you to be his girlfriend– something he's so thankful for. He wouldn't know what he would be doing without you.

Ever since, 5 months ago, Mark has never failed to always meet you before lunch. It wasn't always, though. The both of you were taking different courses, hence both your timetable are different. But there were times where both of you would have lunch at the same time.

Luckily, this year, both of you have 3 lunch breaks together out of 5 days.

"What do you feel like eating?" Mark asks you, scanning the noisy room.

It was 1 PM, so there weren't so many people in the canteen. It was usually only at noon then, both of you would have trouble trying to find seats.

You hummed, "Chinese?"

+Day 3, Wednesday, 5:08 PM

A grin formed on your lips when you saw Mark waiting for you after your last class.

Running up to him, “Hiiiii~ Mark,” you giggled.

Mark simply chuckled at you, his hands going up to your hair to pat your head softly.

“Did you wait long?” you asked as the both of you started walking home.

He shook his head no. “Ah right!” Mark exclaimed as you looked at him with raised eyebrows. He suddenly pulled a black hair tie from his wrist, “you forgot to take this from me after lunch,” he told you, passing you your hair tie.

“Oh,” you grabbed your hair tie from him, thanking him by pressing your lips on his cheek.

+Day 4, Thursday, 8:34 AM

"Mark, I swear to god, it's only 4 days in–" you stop in your tracks to shut the door before turning around to face your boyfriend, "and I’m late."

It was that day. The day where Mark started class late that day but you started at 8 but ended when his class started.

Mark would occasionally wake up early just to send you to class. It was the least he could do for his favourite person.

Mark chuckled at how you were struggling to carry your bag. He reached out to grab your bag from you, and swing it over his shoulders as you mumbled out an incoherent 'thank you'.

"Well, thank god, you have me," Mark joked, as he started walking, you following soon after. You laughed at his words, but soon choked on the bread you were munching on. Mark patted your back, "Jeez, eat slowly, girl."

You let out a loud cough then cleared your throat. "Fourth day in, and I almost died."

+Day 7, Friday, 3:07 PM

“IT’S FRIDAY, BABY!” you yelled out with all your might, eyes closed, both arms stretched out.

Mark laughed at you but quickly covered your mouth with his hand, still giggling at you. “Stop! You’re embarrassing the both of us!” he laughed, grabbing your hand to drag you from the annoyed stares people were giving you.

+Day 6, Saturday, 10:05 AM

You woke up at 10 am, no blaring sounds of the alarm clock. A small satisfied small formed on your lips. You turned in Mark's arms, hand going up to his warm cheek.

"Markkk~" you murmured. "wake up..."

Your boyfriend let out a soft whine, shifting with you in his arms. A huff left your lips when he squeezed you tighter in his arms and pulled you upon his chest.

"Ah, Mark! Come on, wake upppp you poopoo head~" you squeezed his cheek softly. "We can't waste the day!!"

Mark whined and pulled away from you, turning away from you to lie on the other side, facing the window. You huffed, getting up to a sitting position, squeezing mark’s squishy arm, tugging on it multiple times.

“Baaabe~ 5 more minutes, okay?” the cute boy mumbled into his pillow, pulling his arm away from your hold.

You squint your eyes at your boyfriend. Letting out a long exhale, you got out of bed to make breakfast for the both of you. “I’m making breakfast so meet me in the kitchen in 15, okay?” you told mark, who simply hummed at your words.

Honestly, you weren’t a very good cook, but for the sake of survival, you could make a simple toast and eggs. You quickly made toast and cook the eggs, then filling the table with Nutella, butter and strawberry jam.

20 minutes later, Mark came in the kitchen with tousled hair, round gold glasses perched on his nose, eyes barely open and his pants hanging low on his hips.

“Hi,” he mumbled, yawning quickly after.

Your right hand was holding a plate filled with toasts, while your left was holding a plate of scrambled eggs. You look up at your boyfriend, smiling at him, you quickly pressed your lips to his jaw before going to the small table to place your food.

“Come, Mark! Breakfast’s ready.”

+Day 7, Sunday, 9:58 PM

Mark and you could be different at times. Mark was the hardworking type. He would finish whatever homework his lecturer gave, he would go through his notes that he had written down during lecture and would usually spend his Sunday studying.

Meanwhile, you preferred not to do any homework because you think it was the biggest waste of time. It’s one day before the weekday, why would you study when you will be studying the following day anyway?

“Hey, Mark?” you called from the couch you were sitting on.

Mark hummed, however, his eyes were glued onto his messy notes.

“Will you follow me go get ice cream?” you asked your boyfriend, a glint of hope in your eyes because you could predict his answer whenever you ask a simple question.

“I’m busy, sweet,” you mouthed the exact time when he said those words. You rolled your eyes.

“But, Mark, I’m seriously craving for ice cream right now,” you whined with a pout.

When he didn’t reply, you got down from the couch to sit next to the boy, wrapping your arms around his torso and resting your cheek on his shoulder.

“Please, Mark~~”

The reason you were so clingy was because Mark didn’t spare you a glance the whole day, which upsets you a little because you forgot how he was like every Sunday.

“we’ll go after I’m done with this, okay baby?” he whispered, pressing his lips near your ear, still not looking at you.

Let’s just say you’re not getting your ice cream today.

+Day 8, Monday, 7:15 AM

“I am going to fucking kill myself,” you mumbled to yourself as you put on mascara.

Mark could only chuckle at you from the bed.

+Day 9, Tuesday, 7:04 PM

Mark and you were lying on your shared bed, holding hands in the middle of the bed as Mark talked about his day. You laughed when he told a funny story that happened in class earlier

It was moments like this where you realise you loved Mark the most. Simply talking about things that happened throughout the day.

“What happened today, babe?” Mark asked after he finished telling you everything he wanted to tell you.

“Well, we have a project to do,” you sighed, “something I forgot we had in college,” you said sarcastically with a roll of your eyes.

“Group project?”

“Mhm,” you hummed, “I’m partnered with Jaemin. It’s a duo project.”

“I see.”

Silence suddenly filled the air. Comfortable silence. Both of you appreciating each other’s presence.

“Do you wanna know something?” he asked you, turning his head to look at you.

“What?”

“A girl confessed to me today.”

Your heartbeat started to pick up.

“Who?” you asked.

You had thoughts that Mark would leave you for someone else before. Maybe not Mark, but you leaving him for someone else and that scared you a lot. You loved Mark with your whole heart and you have never thought of him being with someone that isn’t you.

“You don’t know her,” he mumbled, “she’s from my class.”

You felt him squeeze your hand.

You pursed your lips, “What did she say?”

“She told me she liked me.”

You pulled your hand away from your boyfriend’s hold and turned to face him, “And what did you tell her?”

“I had a girlfriend and I wasn’t interested,” he explained with wide eyes.

+Day 10, Wednesday, 3:38 PM

You: hi b

You: I’m coming back late tody!

You: don’t wait for me

Mark Pee: okok

Mark Pee: where are you going?

You: jaemin’s place ): for project

Mark Pee: okk

Mark Pee: do you want me to fetch you from his place?

You: yes, please!

You: I’ll text you when I’m done! Love u

+Day 11, Thursday, 11:02 AM

“Ah, fuck!” you cursed, biting your lips in annoyance. You turned to look at your boyfriend, “Mark, I’m not getting lunch today.”

He raised his eyebrows in confusion at you. The both of you were already queuing up for food, and now you’re not eating?

“I forgot to bring my money today,” you explained with a pout.

When you got home from Jaemin’s place yesterday, you immediately passed out after taking a cold shower. You forgot to grab some cash from your piggy bank today, where you usually kept some cash.

Mark quickly fished out his wallet and pulled out a 5 dollar bill and handed it to you.

You pushed his hand away, “Mark, it’s fine.”

He shook his head, “its fine, you’re hungry, right?”

You tip-toed to press your lips against his cheek, “I owe you frozen yoghurt after school.”

+Day 12, Friday, 2:34 PM

Marker: where r u?

You: oh shit I forgot to tell you

You: I’m with jae again!!

You: for the project

Marker: oh

Marker: why didn’t you tell me earlier haha

You: sorry ):

You: were you waiting for me?

Marker: yeah haha but it’s okay, I’m going home now

You: oh, sorry Markie ): I’ll come back early to make it up to you okay?

Marker: I’ll wait for you (:

+Day 13, Saturday, 11:18 AM

Mark continued to ignore you, despite the way you were hanging around him, trying to hold his hand to stop him from moving around, but it didn’t work.

Yesterday when you had come home really late, despite the promise you made with Mark. When Jaemin and you finished the project yesterday, Jaemin had asked you to stay a little longer at his place to Mario Kart. Forgetting that you had promise Mark just a few hours ago, you stayed at his place until almost midnight and never told Mark.

He was furious when you came back home.

Once you walked through the door with a grin on your face, Mark quickly lashed out at you.

“What happened to coming home early, y/n?” Mark asked angrily, hands crossed against his chest.

Mark only called you by your name when he was being completely serious.

“It’s almost midnight and you’re only coming back home now?” he questioned you again with his hands placed on his hips this time. You could only keep quiet and keep your head down. “Do you know how dangerous it is for a girl to go home alone at this timing?”

You bit your lips, looking down at your feet, “I didn’t walk home alone… Jaemin sent me…”

Mark could feel his heart shatter when you spoke his name. It hurt him.

“Right,” he mumbled, turning around to go back to bed.

You followed your boyfriend to your shared room, putting your bag on the chair, quickly changing to his clothes then slipping next to Mark who had his back face you.

You wrapped your arms around his waist, pressing your front against his back. “Mark.” You kissed his bare shoulder, “Are you mad?”

You let out a sigh when he ignored you, “I love you.” You whispered, pressing a long kiss on his shoulder then another on his neck. “I really do.”

When you woke up this morning, you were shocked to see your boyfriend giving you the silent treatment.

You sent him a pout when he sat down on the couch without uttering a single word. You waddled up to your boyfriend, quickly sitting on what’s yours— his lap. Wrapping your arms around his neck, you brought your face closer to his, noticing his flushed cheeks.

“Are you still angry at me?” you asked him, you leaned closer, nose touching, “hm?” this time you quickly pressed your lips on his, “are you?”

Mark parted his lips, hands going up to hold your hips, “don’t tease.”

+Day 14, Sunday, 8:07 AM

“Who’s that?” Mark groan at the non-stop vibrations of your phone.

You turned around in Mark’s arms, grabbing your phone to see who was texting you this morning.

“It’s Jaemin,” you replied, voice still hoarse. “He wants to meet me to finish up the project.”

“No,” Mark immediately replied, pulling you back into his chest, chin resting on the top of your head. “You can meet him tomorrow, I wanna spend time with my baby.”

You closed your eyes as you smile against Mark’s chest, “I like that.”

+Day 15, Monday, 7.39 AM

“Babe!” Mark whispered harshly, shaking you by your arm, “wake up!”

You turned around, pushing his hand away, “I don’t have class today.”

Mark raised his eyebrows, confused, “you don’t?”

You shook your head, opening your eyes a little, hands going up to hold Mark’s cheeks against your hand, “I don’t. My lecturer cancelled class today.”

He sent you a sweet smile, “Okay. Go back to sleep, babe.”

Mark leaned down to kiss your head quickly before standing up to leave, but you reached out to hold his wrist, stopping him from leaving you.

“What time do you end class today?”

“4 pm.”

***

When Mark walked down the steps, he was surprised to see you waiting for him outside of school, sitting on the bench with a pout on your lips, waiting for your boyfriend.

Mark speed up his pace to go to you.

“Babe!” he called, “what are you doing here?” a huge grin plastered on his face.

“You’re always waiting for me, so I decided to do the same!” you told your boyfriend.

Mark cooed at you, placing his water bottle under his armpits as he reached out to squish your cheeks between his fingers, “you’re so cute y/n.”

You let out a whine, pulling away from his harsh grip, “let’s go.”

Before you could walk away, Mark holds you back by gripping your hand. You raised your eyebrows at your boyfriend.

“I’m craving for ice cream,” he told you cheekily.

+Day 16, Tuesday, 4:35 PM

You dip your spoon into the mango flavoured ice-cream, bringing it into your mouth, savouring the sweet taste.

“Mark, it’s your third time we’ve eaten ice cream after class this week. Are you not tired of it?” you asked the boy who was sitting opposite of you.

“Nope,” he shook his head with a small smile as he looked up at you, “never with my favourite girl.”

Blushing, you scoop some ice cream into your spoon and forcefully pushed it between Mark’s lips as his eyes glistened with happiness.

+Day 17, Wednesday, 11:18 AM

Mark had his laptop perched on his lap, his round glasses sitting on his nose while his eyes were trained on the computer.

Meanwhile, you were sitting on the floor, laptop on your right while papers filled the coffee table. Your hair was tied into a messy bun—a very ugly messy bun. You scratched your hair in frustration and let out a long exhausted sigh.

Mark had his eyes on you for a while now, he noticed how frustrated you were. And there were times where things like this happen—where you get too stressed over school and would overthink.

“You okay there, babe?” Mark asked quietly, leaning a little towards you. He hesitated on placing his hand on your shoulder—he opted not to.

You turn around to look at your boyfriend, tears brimming your eyes, nose rosy. You quickly shook your head no.

“Oh, honey.”

Mark quickly put his laptop away and took a seat next to you, immediately pulling you into his arms. Once you snuggled against his neck, tears started pouring out of your eyes. Mark wasn’t very good at comforting and you knew that.

He simply patted your back softly, placing soft kisses on your hair repeatedly.

Once you pulled away from his neck with a sniffle, Mark smiled at you, “better?”

You nodded, rubbing your nose, you looked up at him with a teary gaze, “can you help me with this?”

Despite both of you learning different things in school, that didn’t stop both of you from helping each other.

“Of course, angel.”

And Mark explained to you what you didn’t understand. It took you some time to understand him, but Mark was always patient with you.

Once you finally got it, he pressed a kiss on your temple, “you’re so smart, babe.”

+Day 18, Thursday, 4:34 PM

You waited for Mark outside of school, excited to tell him about how well you did for your presentation earlier. But Mark hasn’t come out after an hour.

The both of you were supposed to end at the same time today, but why isn’t he coming?

You fished out your phone to send your boyfriend a text,

You: helo where are you ):

You: im waiting for you outside

Unfortunately for you, he didn’t reply. To make things worse, it started raining heavily from where you were. Luckily you were waiting for him under a shelter.

With a sigh, you decided to scroll through Instagram while waiting for your boyfriend. Your eyes widened in curiosity when you noticed Mark had posted something on his Insta Story. Curious, you clicked on his profile to see a video of a girl sitting in front of him in a café.

You were pissed. Mark could’ve told you that he would be out with someone else that day—but he didn’t.

You thought of replying to his story but you didn’t, wanting to be the mature one in the relationship.

Just as you were about to leave, you heard someone call your name. Turning around, your eyes widened and a smile appeared on your lips when you noticed Jaemin running towards you.

“What are you doing here?” Jaemin asked you, “do you have an umbrella?”

You shook your head while jutting your lips out.

“Come. I’ll send you home,” he told you with a sweet smile. You opened your mouth, ready to reject his offer, but before you could, Jaemin had already held your hand, pulling you under the umbrella with him.

On the way home, Jaemin and you couldn’t stop laughing at each other’s jokes. The both of you were so bright on a gloomy day. Jaemin suggested the both of you stayed indoors for a while, which you agreed to.

Both of you stayed in a café that Jaemin had suggested. Both of you spent hours in the café laughing at jokes and trying different cakes.

When you reached home with Jaemin, you were ready to put your key in the hole, the door was opened by Mark. An angry Mark.

“What are you doing here?” Mark asked Jaemin with a sharp glare, pulling you towards his side.

“Ah, Mark, Jaemin sent me home because it was raining,” you explained, looking up at Mark.

Mark turned to you angrily, “why didn’t you—”

“Anyways, Jaemin, thank you for sending me home. I owe you one,” you quickly hugged Jaemin.

Jaemin chuckled, “anything for you, y/n.”

+Day 19, Friday, 12:48 PM

“Are you really going to fucking act this way?” you asked Mark angrily, hands placed on your hips.

Mark rolled his eyes as he walked away from you, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

You followed him, annoyed at how he was avoiding you, “stop walking around when I’m talking to you!”

He stopped in his tracks and faced you, frustration spread all across his face.

“Why are you acting this way, Mark?” you asked him again, “you act like this every time I hang out with Jaemin.”

Mark took a deep breath, looking at anything but you, “maybe I don’t like you hanging out with Jaemin.”

You scoffed at your boyfriend’s words, “you know, yesterday wouldn’t have happened if you told me you were going out with someone.”

He kept quiet this time, he wasn’t sure what to say. Mark looked at you before walking away from you again.

“Fine! Just leave like at times like this! Just like you always do!” you yelled out at him, “so childish,” you mumbled under your breath.

+Day 20, Saturday, 8:56 PM

“Fucking Mark Lee,” you cursed, “always being childish over something small,” you rambled on, throwing the pan in the sink loudly, “why is he even my fucking boyfriend? Why did I even accept him?”

When you woke up today, Mark was gone. You didn’t think much about it, but when Mark wasn’t home after 3 pm, you started getting annoyed. You woke up at 8 am today, meaning he had left even before you had woken up.

The moment you checked his Insta Story, he had left to hang out with the same girl 2 days ago.

“Did he think I would get jealous over that dumb girl?” you scoffed, scrubbing the dishes roughly, “he thought wrong.”

At first, you didn’t think much about it, but after a few hours, you started stalking the girl’s account and constantly checked if Mark had uploaded anything on his Insta Story.

“I hate Mark. He’s so good at making me feel like shit.”

Just as you said that, you heard the front door slam. You took a deep breath before approaching Mark.

You went up to him, stopping him with your small figure, “Where were you?” you asked.

“What are you? My mom?” he rolled his eyes. “I was with someone.”

Mark walked past you but you stopped him again as he let out an annoyed sigh.

“Who?”

He turned around in exasperation, “Naeun.”

You crossed your arms, “since when did you both get close, huh?” you asked.

“Since she told me she liked me.”

+Day 21, Sunday, 10:09 PM

Today, Mark didn’t go out. You didn’t either.

You couldn’t stop thinking about what Mark had said yesterday. So mark went out with someone who had feelings for him.

Does she know Mark has a girlfriend? Will Mark like her back? Will Mark leave you? Has Mark fallen out of love?

You broke out of a daze when you felt something nudge your hand. You looked up at Mark who was looking down at you.

“Huh?” you asked, stunned.

He nodded his chin towards the bowl he was holding, “Eat,” he told you. You raised your eyebrows at him. He looked away, clearing his throat, “you haven’t eaten anything the whole day.”

You looked down at the bowl. Mark had made fried rice with a messy egg laid on top. A small smile spread across your lips.

He still cares.

You gripped the bowl in your hand, “thank you.”

+Day 22, Monday, 7:37 PM

“Hey,” Mark nudged your shoulder, “do you want anything?”

“What are you getting?” you asked, however, your eyes were fixed on your laptop as your lips bit on the string of your—Mark’s hoodie.

“Western.”

You frown, shaking your head, “No, I’m good.”

“Kay.”

***

The smell of fish & chips hit your nose, as you immediately looked up to see where the smell was coming from. Your eyes landed on Mark who had his plate of food sited on his lap.

You lick your lips at the sight and smell of the delicious food. Mark squint his eyes mischievously at you.

“Mark,” you called, “can I have some?” you asked, looking up at your boyfriend with a glint of hope in your eyes.

Your boyfriend didn’t hesitate to cut up a piece and dip it in the sauce and feed you. You looked up at your boyfriend with a cute smile while munching on the delicious food as you went back to focus on your work.

20 minutes later, instead of Mark eating, he was feeding you instead.

“I thought you didn’t want any,” Mark grumbled while placing the fork between your lips.

You looked up at Mark playfully, sending him a cheeky smile, “it’s really good.”

“Really?” Mark feigned confusion, “I never tried it,” he said plainly with a straight face.

You pursed your lips and grabbed the cutleries from his hold, cutting a piece of the fish and bringing up to his lips. Mark's hands went up to your wrist to help you feed him as he ate with gusto.

“Good?”

+Day 23, Tuesday, 5:17 PM

“Babe, I’m gonna meet Naeun, are you going to be okay?” Mark asked you, taking off his top, searching for a clean shirt.

You bit your lip. Naeun was the reason both of you had a big fight the other day. Why is Mark still going out with her? Furthermore, she had a crush on your boyfriend, you were afraid if she would steal your man away from you.

Mark jumped on the bed as he leaned towards you, “you okay?”

You looked down at him and sent him a fake smile. “I’m fine. What time are you coming back?” you asked softly, looking at away from Mark and directing your attention to your phone.

Mark suddenly grabbed your hands, pressing a kiss against it, as you looked at him in shock. “Baby,” he said, “if you don’t like me hanging out with Naeun, you can tell me,” he told you.

You kept quiet.

“Do you like me going out with Naeun?” he asked once more.

Both of you have never gotten jealous before, and you didn’t want to break that.

You shook your head, “you can go out with her,” you told him with a nod, your attention going back to your phone.

Whatever you said was the opposite of what you were feeling. You didn’t want Mark to go out with her at all. You didn’t like the idea of someone else going out with your person.

Mark sighed, “Don’t lie to me.”

You finally put your phone down and faced your boyfriend, “fine.” You sighed, “I don’t like the both of you going out together.”

“Why not?” he questioned, holding back a smile.

You wanted to roll your eyes. He was doing this on purpose.

“I…I don’t want you to fall out of love with me,” you whispered, “I don’t want to see you leave me and love someone else.”

Mark sent you a sweet smile, “you don’t have to worry because that will never happen.”

+Day 24, Wednesday, 1:55 PM

“Done?” Mark questions, you nodded. “Let’s go.”

He passed you your bag, while he grabs his own. “I’ll send you to class.”

You raised your eyebrows at his words, “isn’t your class at the other end of the building?”

Both of you shared your timetable with each other at the start of the year, and you knew where his class were at.

“It’s okay,” he sent you a sweet smile, “I’ll make it in time.”

+Day 25, Thursday, 11:08 AM

“Hi, Mark,” Naeun waved at Mark sending him a flirty smile while tucking her hair behind her ear. “Who is this?” she asked, looking at you.

You wanted to roll your eyes at the glare she was sending you.

“She’s my girlfriend. I told you about her,” Mark stated, his arms wrapping around your waist protectively.

“Ah,” Naeun gasped softly. “well, um, I was thinking if you want to go out today? I got an extra ticket for—”

Mark frowned, “I can’t, I’m hanging out with my girl today. Sorry, Naeun!”

Right after saying that, both you and Mark walked away, with you giggling next to him.

+Day 26, Friday, 10:00 AM

You: Markie!!!!!

Markie Pooh: what do you want bitch ass

You: rude!!

You: I need to borrow your sweater ;;

Markie Pooh: ): why

Markie Pooh: it’s my fav sweater babey ):

You: its so cold in this room ):

You: I’m literally freezing rn

Markie Pooh: argh fine

Markie Pooh: you’re so spoiled wtf

Markie Pooh: what room r u in bby

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whisperlullaby · 3 years

Text

Just Say It And I’m Yours- Ch.5

Summary: Steve is away on a mission and Connor asks you out again and this time you don’t have a reason to say no.

Words: 1766

Warnings: None? Pining, Steve being dumb...just buckle up he’s gonna be dumb for a while. Allusions to toxic family life. (if I missed anything let me know)

A/N: Super special thanks to @river-soul for being the best beta! Thanks to @dreamslikeaheartbeat for the phenomenal banner. If I missed any warnings let me know and please if you’re a minor DNI.

Tag: @sweetkingdomstarlight-blog @bestofbucky @loveyou5everr @purselover2 @sweeterthanthis @freyagreyson @saiyanprincessswanie if you want to be on my taglist send me a DM. If you want to be taken off my taglist also send me a DM.

The weekend went by in a blur. You were heartbroken when Steve told you the almost kiss meant nothing, could mean nothing. You dreamt for months about the feel of his lips on yours and now you would never know what it would be like to kiss him. Steve didn’t want anything more than a friendship with you and after drinking your sorrows away for a weekend you reaffirmed your resolve to be his friend. He was trying to find himself, just like you, and it wouldn’t be fair to ask for more than he was willing to give. After spending all of your free time with Steve, he became your person, and when it boiled down to it you would rather have this version of Steve in your life than try to force something more and lose him altogether.

You knew the toxicity of being forced to do something you didn’t want to do just to make someone else happy. Not just from working in your chosen field, but from your family life. You lived your whole life to please your family only to realize one day that it wasn’t what you wanted at all. When you told them you had a different path you wanted to take they cut you off and cast you aside. It was the best thing to ever happen to you because it let you have the freedom you needed to learn more about yourself and figure out who you wanted to be.

That experience left you feeling self-conscious and compliant, ever the people pleaser with poor boundaries. You were determined to move past those feelings even though it was going to be a long road, you owed it to yourself. Being forced to move to a new city was a blessing as it allowed you to grow into a person you felt more proud of. You met Steve a week later and between feeling confident for the first time in years, and Steve looking at you like you hung the stars, you were beginning to feel like you finally found where you belonged. When he told you that you could just pretend the kiss didn’t happen you swore you heard your heart shatter. But you found yourself once before, you could do it again. It’s not like you lost Steve completely, he just needed a friend more than he needed a partner.

So, you steeled yourself against the heartache. Steve needed to get back to his Captain America duties and you needed that distance to figure yourself out again. He had told you that he was going to be gone for at least a week doing recon work, which meant for the first time since you met him you wouldn’t have Friday movie night.

It turned out to be fortuitous that he was gone because your caseload doubled for the week. By Friday you were up to your elbows in paperwork when Connor walked into your office.

“Hey there, darling. You look busy.”

You looked up and narrowed your eyes. “Yeah, it’s what people who are invested in the wellbeing of others look like. Busy.”

Connor snickered. “Well, I just wanted to know if you wanted to get dinner tonight. No shop talk required.”

You froze. You were expecting it, of course, Connor asked you out every week. This time was a bit different though since you knew Steve didn’t feel the same way you felt about him. Truth be told, part of the reason you always turned Connor down was on the off chance Steve would ask you out. You deserved a chance to be with someone who wanted to be with you too. You were hesitant but you needed to start getting over your crush on Captain America.

“Sure Connor,” you sighed. “Why not? Give me 20 minutes and I’ll meet you outside.”

Connor perked up. “Yeah, whatever you need. It’s not a no this time?”

“It’s not a no this time. I just have a few things I need to finish up,” you tapped the pile of paperwork.

“No problem, I’ll bring my car around.” Connor practically skipped out of your office.

When you heard the door click shut you pulled your phone out and sent Steve a text.

“Hey, I know you’re busy but could you and Bucky come over tomorrow night when you get back? It’s been a long week.”

You flipped your phone over not expecting a response when your phone chirped.

“Of course, doll. I’ll let you know when we land and we’ll come over.”

You let out a cleansing breath. If you were going to tell Steve about your date, you were going to need a Bucky buffer.

////////////

It was around 8:00 pm when Steve and Bucky got to your apartment. You didn’t miss the way you felt relief wash over you when you saw Steve standing outside your door. After they hung up their coats they each pulled you in for a hug. Bucky’s was quick and he placed a chaste kiss on your forehead. Steve squeezed you tight, almost as if he was afraid to let go, swaying as he stood there. You melted into his embrace for a moment before pulling away.

��I’m sorry for missing movie night, sweetheart. I hope it doesn’t happen again,” Steve lamented.

“I hope it doesn’t either.” You nodded, moving into the kitchen. “Thirsty?”

“Sure I’ll take a beer if you have one.” Steve plopped down on your couch.

“Same here sparky.” Bucky sat in the recliner putting his feet on your coffee table.

You gave him a quizzical look. “Sparky?”

Bucky looked at Steve then back at you. “Yeah, ‘cause you’re like a firecracker, so, Sparky.”

You let out a bubbly laugh. “Alright, tinman, whatever you say.”

Bucky pouted as you handed him his beer and kicked his feet off your coffee table. You handed Steve his and watched him drain half the bottle as you sat down.

“You better use a goddamned coaster or I swear to god you’re buying me a new coffee table.” You threw a coaster at Steve’s face just before his glass hit the table.

He laughed as he caught the coaster and placed it on the table under his glass.

“So, what’s new? I have to admit I got a bit nervous when you asked us to come over when we got back.” Steve raised his eyebrow staring you down.

You began to fidget. Your eyes shifted between Steve and Bucky trying to figure out the easiest way to tell them about your date last night. You caught Steve’s eyes as they filled with concern. He knew you better than anyone so you knew that fidgeting was a dead give away that something wasn’t quite right.

“Doll, is everything okay?” Steve reached out and touched your shoulder.

“Yeah,” you rushed out. “I just, um, Connor asked me on a date. Since you were on a mission, I said yes. We went out last night.”

You looked up at Steve searching his eyes for anything to give him away. His hand fell from your shoulder and you heard Bucky choke a little on his beer. Steve’s eyes snapped towards his friend as he leaned down to pick up his own drink. You had hoped Bucky’s presence would make the news a bit more casual so you wouldn’t feel the heaviness fill your chest like lead as you waited for Steve’s reaction.

“Oh, Connor? Isn’t that the guy that irons his jeans?” Steve joked. Only it wasn’t really a joke, Connor really liked ironing.

“I mean yeah, but that seems like a livable concession.” You rolled your eyes. “Besides it’s not like I have any other suitors.” You cocked your head thoughtfully playing with the rim of your glass.

“How did it go?” Steve was staring at his hands. If there was anything you were an expert at, it was reading Steve Rogers like a damned book and he was avoiding your eye contact for a reason.

“It actually went really great. He took me to that French place across town, you know the one that looks way too pretentious to eat at. We have a lot more in common than I thought.” You bit your lip before you continued. “I wanted to know if my dating him would bother you. It would definitely limit my free time and I know how much you love my company. Though I think Bucky’s starting to feel left out.”

You chuckled when you heard Bucky scoff and turned your head to stick your tongue out at him.

Turning back to Steve you tried to catch his eye. “I just want to know if there is absolutely any reason my dating Connor would make you uncomfortable.”

Steve considered your question for a minute. He had no reason to tell you who you could and could not date, especially after he told you he would rather be friends. You had almost hoped that he would admit to the sparks clearly happening between the two of you. You were taking measured breaths waiting for him to say something. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Bucky staring Steve down as if he was trying to have a silent conversation. Steve took another sip of his beer before turning to you.

“I think you deserve to be happy. If Connor can do that for you then I am happy for you,” Steve said, pursing his lips.

You felt tears spring to your eyes and willed them back.

“Great, cool, okay.” You gathered the empty bottles and ran into the kitchen. “I’ll get us some refills.”

That was it. You knew you weren’t going to be able to convince Steve to fight for you, and you owed it to yourself to give Connor a shot. As you grabbed new beers out of the fridge you reminisced about the times when you and Steve would stay up late sharing your favorite songs, how when you saw a kid lose his balloon Steve bought the vendor out just to cheer them up, and how he knew exactly how you took your coffee after the second coffee run you made together.

You hoped Connor would be able to give you some of those happy memories, but there was a nagging feeling in the pit of your stomach telling you something wasn’t right. You pushed that feeling down a little bit further, refusing to listen to it. It was probably just the part of you still hung up on Steve and nothing a little time wouldn’t fix.

#just say it and i'm yours #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers #steve rogers x you #captain america x reader #captain america x you #marvel fanfiction #steve rogers series

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miwtze · 3 years

Text

distance (ushijima wakatoshi x reader)

cw: depression, intrusive thoughts, ushi might be ooc idk

wc: 1.9k of utter dogshit i HATE this

distance wasn’t uncommon between you and ushijima. you knew ushijima had to focus on volleyball and he knew you had times where you were unable to attend to yourself much less him. maybe that’s why you two have lasted as long as you did, you weren’t suited for love but neither was he, so you thought that maybe you guys would have a chance. he called mutual respect, and while that might be true to some extent, to you it just felt like he settled with you for convenience. you weren’t stupid. you knew that like everyone else in this world, ushijima craved affection but that was the extent of his relationship. you believed he did not need to love you. in fact he probably couldn’t. you were not loveable. how could another love a person so void of life; of course they couldn’t. you loved him but he didn't love you. you thought maybe that was enough for you, but as a human you’re selfish. you want your own form of comfort and if that means ending things with ushijima after six years of dating then so be it. as your gentle fingers continue to thread bead after bead through the wire, you wonder if your relationship between you and ushijima would snap like the thin wire in between your finger. you’re pulled from your thoughts when you hear the front door open. when ushijima pops his head out of the hall way and into the living room you greet him.

“hey, welcome back.” ushijima looks as beat up as you feel; sunken in eyes and dried sweat on his forehead. “i didn’t think you’d be back so soon, do you want me to make dinner while you shower?”

“hello.” he looks down at the beads in your hands, frowning. he knows they’re the same kind you had strung together for him when you confessed to him at 18, the same one he adorns on his wrist like an olympic medal. “did you do anything all day except play with beads?” he didn’t mean to come off like that, he wanted to talk but he didn’t know how to go about it. his indifference only made the statement come off worse, he knew this, but he couldn’t bring himself to speak up. ushijima was tired, no he was exhausted. he wanted to help you but he couldn’t cross the distance to meet you. not when your empty eyes are waiting for him on the other side.

“so no dinner then.” you want him to object. you want him to tell you that he wants to eat dinner with you, to talk to you. you want something, anything. you want ushijima wakatoshi to love you because you don’t want to leave.

“yeah no dinner tonight.”

“c’mon we haven’t hung out in forever. let’s go out and drink, it’s fine if you start crying. we all miss you,” your friend begs on the other end of the line. “i’ll come get you at six, yeah? yeah?” you smile, it felt nice knowing your presence was wanted even if it was for a little bit.

“yeah i’ll be ready at six.” you hear your friend excitedly end the call as you flop onto the bed. you need to go out. you knew it wasn’t good for you to stay inside and mope about how unloved you were. you knew you had to try just a little more, just for yourself. the little steps you had been making the couple years like cleaning your clothes, eating , going to classes, doing the works seemed completely mundane but it helped you help yourself. if nothing else you wanted to try and cross the distance yourself, maybe with ushijima on the other side maybe not.

by the time six rolls around you’ve showered and dressed up to the nines. you’ve never felt as pretty as you did in that moment and you think it has something to do with wanting to be better and much less the wings on your eyelids. as you fall into your friend’s car you’re greeted with two more of your friends and a bottle of alcohol. we’re pre-gaming before we drink some more at ayasski’s, they explain. giggling you join them getting inebriated and melting into the arms of your friends. as the night gets longer, your friends gently probe you about ushijima knowing you well enough to know something wasn’t okay.

“i think it’s kind of stupid to be in a relationship where someone can’t love you,” you giggle the blush reaching up to your cheeks. “i love him so, so, so much so i have to break up with him. i know he’s not happy with me.” you friends wrap their arms around you, booing.

“it’s his loss there’s literally no reason to not be happy with you,” you friend shouted, you could disagree ten times over. the hope that blossomed in your chest earlier today’s as completely shot down when you realized you weren’t a person meant to get better. you tossed another shot back. “but he seemed really happy when we saw you two at your graduation last year.”

“it’s been a year. what does it even matter, we got together to party not talk about my problems,” you laugh pulling them from the kitchen into the living room. you spend the night talking catching up, telling them about your first year at the company you work for, how much you missed them, about how much you missed ushijima (you couldn’t help it you were tipsy). you realize how much you've missed talking to someone about trivial matters. you missed having no distance with people. how did things get so far away with ushijima you wonder.

at some point you black out and when you finally come around you’re tucked into your friend’s bed sandwiched between your friends. you gently untangle yourself from them and wash up in the bathroom. the cold water pulling you from your drowsiness and straight into the deep end of the nastiest hangover you’ve probably ever had. “wake up losers, i'm making breakfast for our nasty ass hangovers,” you yawn as you make your way out of the bedroom. your friends shuffle around groaning telling you to shut up and we’ll be there in a bit. shuffling around the kitchen you begin making pancakes and as you wait for the batter to cook you pick up your phone. your stomach drops when you realize you have three missed calls and a couple texts from ushijima. you forgot to tell him you were going out, you honestly didn’t think he would care.

[wakatoshi ♡]

8:18 pm | I’m going to be home late today. Don’t worry about dinner.

8:18 pm | I’ll make something when I get home.

it’s not lost on you that he texted you he wouldn’t be home at an angel number. the universe was playing its jokes on you but you can’t seem to find the humor.

[wakatoshi ♡]

11:24 pm | Did you go out?

11:36 pm | When will you be home?

12:01 am | Please be quiet when you return home. Goodnight.

you laugh at his punctualness, identifiable even through text. as your friends file in and fill themselves up, you head out beginning your trek home. by the time you get home your feet hurt almost as much as your head. you bend over to free your feet from the shackles of your stupid fucking heels. “objectively i would’ve looked just as pretty with a pair of flats,” you grumble rubbing the budding blisters on your feet.

“you’re pretty in general so i doubt your attractiveness changes depending on what footwear you wear.” you snap your head up, blinking owlishly at ushijima. he places his hand out in front of you waiting for you to take it. when you do, he pulls you up and into his arms carrying you into the room. you really don’t know how to react, especially with your brain pounding for a whole new reason. cautiously, you turn your head to look up at ushijima as he sets you down, leaning up to place a kiss on his chin. you wait for a reaction, a response, anything you can get but all he does is turn around and walk out. it was as if he tied the beaded bracelet on your wrist just to yank it off.

you can’t help but sob into a pillow, what else were you supposed to do. you built yourself up to leave him only to be broken down by the tiniest bit of affection. ushijima had his hands around your throat and you couldn’t get it off you no matter what you did. you loved him so much, you couldn’t understand why he wouldn’t love you back. your throat constricted, your sobs got heavy. you froze when you heard the bedroom door open. you could’ve sworn you’ve been crying for ages but only a couple minutes had passed. you held your breath as ushijima sat next to you, running his fingers through your hair. your heart beat pitifully and tears began to spill through your eyelashes again. you’re so fucking stupid, berating yourself never once allowing yourself to consider the feelings ushijima tried to awkwardly convey to you. “what happened? did something happen when you went out?” you sob louder. how could he be so unaware. “it was me wasn’t it.” you froze. “i actually would like to talk about this so when you’re calmer, may we?” you whisper out a simple yes in return feeling the nasty rope of anxiety tie knots in your stomach.

your thoughts spiraled, what did he want to talk about, did he really not love you, were you really just a small rock in the middle of his garden, were you something much more disgusting to him. he pulls you out of your thoughts just as quickly as he dropped you in them. quite literally. he pulls you onto his lap tucking your head into his chest and wraps his arm around your waist, playing with your hair once again. you two stay like that for what feels like decades. you can’t remember the last time you felt like he wanted to be around you, much less a time where he held you. gentle you pull away from his chest to face your unnerving anxieties.

“h-hey,” you whisper gently. you don’t miss the way his eyes soften at your voice. he doesn’t know how long it’s been since he’s heard your voice for something other than small talk. he missed your warmth, your voice, he missed you. so much. ushijima wanted to do better for you. when you seem to gain your resolve you finally give voice to the anxieties that planted it’s nasty seed in your thoughts. “have you ever loved me?” before you can get a response you continue, “i know i’m not lovable but are you with me for convenience. do you just deal with me? do i burden you with-”

“i am absolutely enthralled by you but i have no clue how to go about it.” he takes your face in the palm of his hands, brushing your tears away. “i want to try and do better. our distance is growing and i don’t like it at all. i understand we don’t have the most convenient relationship but i don’t want to end it because you mean so much to me.”

“i don’t want to end it either. i know it’s hard. i know it is, but you really think we could do it?” he smiles at you and it was as if a wall was broken down, not a big one but one that you had set up so you wouldn’t acknowledge ushijima or his feelings towards you.

“i know we can.”

#/ushijima #tw depression #ushijima x reader #ushijima wakatoshi x reader #ushijima x y/n #haikyuu x y/n #haikyu x reader #haikyu x y/n #im in the nastiest mood ever i literally wanna fucken die #enjoy this or dont #ily please drink water

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