#(we got back together like a month later and then broke up for good 3 years later)
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Hurry Back Home
Summary: The four times you showed up at Bucky’s place unexpected.
Part 1
The first time was a month after the two of you broke up. Once your red rimmed eyes depuffed from the constant tears and you managed to get his name out. Your friends had come over once or twice to check up on you but you’d always lie.
“Thank you for stopping by but really, I’m okay.” You lied when they came by the first time, resting your body on the doorframe and keeping the door close to you so they wouldn’t see your Bucky covered apartment. You still hadn’t taken the pictures down, hadn’t washed your sheets because you could still catch a glimpse of his cologne and you sure as hell hadn’t stopped wearing the Henley he kept at your place. The one you were currently hiding underneath a big sweatshirt.
Of course they didn’t believe you but it was always better to give you some space.
“Call us whenever and we’ll be here.” One of your friends said, you nodded and closed the door.
You deeply regretted living in an apartment with paper thin walls when you heard your other friend say: “I really thought those two were endgame.”
But now, I’d been a month and it seemed like the sun was ready to shine again. The pain still felt unbearable but it was most likely because Bucky was still imprinted in your apartment. So one Sunday morning, you grabbed a cardboard box and decided enough was enough. Almost with closed eyes as to not relive the good memories, you started chucking everything that reminded you of him.
Goodbye rubber spatula Bucky melted half to death the first time he cooked you breakfast. Sayonara to the broken picture frame he’d glued back together after slamming your body against the wall that time you two came back tipsy and horny from the bar. Farewell to the plush blanket he insisted you needed in your living room the day your heater went out. Would it be too over the top if you brought the heater back to its broken state because he fixed it?
As you passed through the kitchen, you saw the small plate Bucky gave you when you went to that pottery class. A lopsided dish he’d made too oval and too deep to actually be useful but with the way his tongue poked out in concentration as he made, it there was no way you could tell him it wasn’t perfect. He hadn’t let you see his final design but a few days later, after it had been fired, you finally saw what he had painted. At the center of the plate, in his almost illegible messy handwriting, read: This is a plate, -Bucky <3.
You shoved the dish all the way back inside one of your kitchen drawers, not wanting to think about it anymore but not wanting to throw away such a meaningful gift. Not yet.
You grabbed another smaller box and shoved all the clothes Bucky had left behind over the months. A couple of Henleys, some underwear, his leather jacket, and the gloves he’d stopped wearing.
“Not today, Doll.” He’d smiled, lowering your hands holding the leather gloves. “I don’t need them when I’m with you.”
Before you could think about it too much, you opened your door and walked over to his apartment with his things. You dropped the box at his doorstep and turned to leave but you heard his locks turn.
A gasp got caught in your throat and you were almost positive your heart missed a beat. The plan wasn’t to see him, you weren’t ready to see him. Maybe you could make a run for it? But it would be too obvious! You’ll look ridiculous! Maybe you can play dead? It works for dogs!
But before you could make a decision, you heard his voice. The sweet tone he reserved just for your ears, soft and comforting.
“Hi.” His smile was small not reaching his eyes. “How are you?”
You tried to swallow the lump in your throat and nod. “I’m okay. I thought it was time to drop your things off.”
“Oh,” His usual crystal blue eyes now adorned an all too familiar red hue, the bags under his eyes big and purple. But before you could feel sorry, a cheery voice appeared from the inside of his apartment.
“We should be leaving soon.” A woman came into view, her tactical suit showed you she worked with Bucky but the way her arm rested on his shoulder showed you she’s more than just a coworker. “Wouldn’t want to miss our reservation.”
You didn’t let your mouth drop to the floor just out of pure pride.
How could I have been so stupid to think Bucky wasn’t over me yet? You thought.
You kicked the cardboard box lightly with the tip of your shoe. “Just wanted to drop off your things.”
Bucky’s eyebrows furrowed, your sudden change of demeanor confused him. But your eyes pingponging from the box to him to Jessica gave him more answers than he needed. He started shaking his head, wanting to explain to you that Jessica didn’t know who you were and that’s why she was saying they were going out. He wanted to explain that the only reason she was in his apartment was because she had to borrow some unmarked guns for her mission. He especially wanted to explain to you that Jessica wasn’t interested in guys like him- actually she wasn’t interested in guys at all!
“You can keep or throw out anything you have of mine, I don’t want it.” You said rolling your eyes, turning to leave but he held your elbow wanting to get even a single word in. But he didn’t get a chance to say anything.
You tugged your arm back and left, closing your apartment door with a bang.
The second time was a few weeks after you had given Bucky his belongings. You’d started watching the news again, not caring whenever they showed a picture of him. At least that’s what you told your friends. You finally returned to your favorite coffee shop, even though it hurt when the barista asked where your boyfriend was. You’d managed to say it was just you this time but were too distracted with your own thoughts to see the glimmer in the guy’s eyes when you said it.
Today was an especially important day, your first run since the breakup. You welcomed the familiar burn in your lungs and the feeling of freedom. You jogged up to the door of your apartment just to see a brown paper bag with your name on it. You eyed it quizzically, looking around to figure out if you could spot who left it. But inside was a harmless coffee with a note written on the side: What’s a morning run without your morning coffee?
At first it made you smile, thinking about all the times you would drink coffee with Bucky. A little slice of normalcy and routine in his otherwise chaotic world. That ritual the two of you created was one of the only things he could control.
But the sweet thoughts turned sour as you remembered the blonde’s arm on Bucky. Who the hell does he think he is? He can go out and date but you? You have to be constantly reminded of the relationship?
I don’t fucking think so.
You marched up the stairs straight to his door and banged on it three times. You didn’t mind the time, you knew he was up since sunrise.
No answer. You brought your fist up to the door again and knocked five times, your patience running thin and your energy low.
A few seconds later a messy haired groggy Bucky opened up, rubbing his eyes with the back of his palms.
“You were asleep?” You forgot why you were here in the first place, more concerned about the fact that your ex-boyfriend who never slept in past 5:45 and was now barely waking up at 8 am! Had he not been sleeping at night? Was he getting nightmares again? Was he benched from the team?
“Was, past tense.” He yawned. “What’s wrong? Are you okay?”
His kind blue eyes convinced you for a second but the coffee in your hand reminded you of your anger.
“I wanted to hand deliver this.” You pushed the coffee into his chest. “And to tell you that these mind games you’re playing are not working. I’m done, we’re done. So don’t come here wanting to stir up things that have been buried. We used to drink coffee after our runs but not anymore, not together at least! So stop it, and I don’t want it.”
Bucky’s eyes widened as he looked down at the drink in his hands. You’d left him speechless. Truthfully, leaving the big and scary Winter Soldier inarticulate did wonders for your self-esteem-
“Did you read the other side of the cup?” Bucky asked in an annoyed tone.
“What?”
He rolled his eyes and turned the cup, bringing it close to your face. “The back of the coffee says: Come into the coffee shop for a free pastry and a date – Jack.”
You felt your face blush, heat consuming your whole body.
“I-when- I didn’t read-“ You stammered.
“Are we done here?” Bucky raised his eyebrows. “I’m sure you’re getting flooded with date propositions but could we keep the ‘bragging about it to your ex’ to a minimum?”
You furiously nodded and whispered a small: “Sorry about that.”
The third time was four months after the breakup. You thought you were doing great, making progress. You’d been on a date or two that didn’t amount to anything but it counted, right? Everything seemed normal until you heard about the last mission.
You had turned on the TV and the news station was doing a 24hr coverage of a rescue mission. Something about super soldier serums being reproduced and hostages being taken. You didn’t need to see him on the screen to know he was there. An unusual feeling gnawed at your chest.
Before, when you were dating, you would get anxious about him going on missions but this time it was different. Like you knew something bad was going to happen.
And then you saw the coverage, the warehouse had been wired with explosives. Every wall blown up into ashes. “There have been no survivors until now.” The newscaster said.
Your heart races thinking of him. This can’t be true, right? You know there’s no possibility of him not being there, he’s the one who is supposed to handle super soldiers for fucks sake! But the thought of him not making it is out of the question. You cannot even process the information. A shocking sob rips through your chest as you hear the total fatalities number rise.
You had wanted to be informed of everything happening but at some point in the night, you fell asleep with the TV turned on. A faint noise woke you up, your senses heightened to a thousand. You brought closer the sleeves of one of Bucky’s heneleys that had been mixed up with the clothes at the back of your closet and took in his faint scent. But then you heard it again, the unmissable groan of his apartment door. You told him to get it fixed a thousand times but he would always say: “Just because something’s old doesn’t mean it needs to be fixed.”
You rushed outside and saw him, opening his apartment door. You couldn’t believe it, were you dreaming?
You ran to him and just as he turned around you wrapped your arms around him, you couldn’t help the tears running down your face.
“Is there something wrong?” Bucky asked, worry written all over your face, as he brushed the hair off of your face. “Are you hurt.”
A laugh ripped through your chest and you shoved his shoulder. “Wrong with me? You scared me half to death! I though you didn’t make it.”
You whispered the last part, wanting to hide the tremble in your voice.
He took your head in his hands, placing a kiss on your forehead. “I’m all right doll, see, I’m still in one piece.”
You nodded and sniffled, bringing your head to his chest.
“I’ve been looking for this.” Bucky let out a small laugh, placing kisses on the top of your head, while tugging on his shirt. But before you could tell him he could have it back, he said: “Keep it, it looks better on you.”
The fourth time you showed up at Bucky’s place unexpected was a month later. For about a week, you’d been getting this weird feeling. You had seen the same person twice in the subway and then once turning the corner to your apartment. At first, you thought it was a coincidence but today was the third day you saw the same man. Bucky had taught you that whenever you feel in danger you should go around the block once. No person that isn’t following you is going to turn right twice, ending up in the same spot you started. He said that if after doing that, they were still on your tail you should immediately go to his place. No matter the time and no matter the situation.
You looked over your shoulder before turning right for the fourth time hoping the man would enter one of the many apartments or stores lining your street. Maybe he was lost? But no, he kept his pace following you. Your breath hitched as you considered your options. A) Lead this person straight to your apartment and get murdered or B) Face your ex-boyfriend.
You considered option A for a second, it would be less awkward. But you shook your head. You rushed up the stairs and made use of the spare key to Bucky’s apartment you hadn’t returned. You quickly closed the door and leaned back on it, trying to regain your breath. You did as you were once told, you grabbed the gun from underneath his dining room table and pointed at the door until he got home.
An hour later, you saw the lock turn and the door slowly open. You pointed the gun straight on and waited for whoever was behind the door to come in.
“It’s just me,” You heard Bucky’s voice before he came in. “You’re safe.”
You let out a breath as he came into view, setting the gun back on the table. “How’d you know I was here?”
“You think I don’t have cameras?” Bucky chuckled as he lowered his work backpack onto the kitchen island. “I saw you snooping around, by the way.”
The corners of your lips turned upwards, partly because you were caught but mostly because you didn’t find any indications that there had been a woman in his place.
“What happened?” He asked, sitting across from you.
“I think I’m being followed.” You chewed on your bottom lip nervously.
“Think?” Bucky asked with raised eyebrows.
“The same man has been following me from my apartment to work and back for the past week. And he’s not even being sneaky about it. We’ve made eye-contact and everything.”
Bucky ran his hand across his face. “And you waited a week to tell me?!”
“Well I’m sorry if I’m not totally comfortable telling my ex that someone is following me!” You rolled your eyes. “Anyways, I did what you told me and now I’m here.”
“I took a picture of him when he wasn’t looking.” You pushed your phone closer to Bucky only to see the color drain out of his face. “What’s the matter?”
“The-these- this guy, I saw him at the warehouse.” Bucky muttered. “They’re sending me a message.”
“What are we going to do?” You asked quietly.
Bucky’s nostrils flared as he got filled with rage. “We? We aren’t doing anything. I am going to go to them and kill every single one. I don’t care- they’re dead tomorrow morning.”
“Buck-“ You placed a hand on his chest but he turned around, getting up from the table. He paced around his apartment, face red with anger. “Buck! Stop!”
His eyes darkened. “Stop? Stop and do what? Wait until they hurt the woman that I love? I’m not going to just sit back and take the high road. They deserve to be in the ground and I’m going to make sure it happens. No one can get near you. I’ve worked too hard and sacrificed so much already for them to get close to you.”
“They’ve gotten too close already. I shouldn’t have let them, but they’re here now. And they’re going to see what happens when you piss me off. I broke my heart in two just to make sure you were going to be safe. And they won’t take that away from you, not your safety. I will do whatever is necessary.”
You gasped at his words.
“Is that- is that why-“ Bucky didn’t let you finish, his saddened gaze gave you the answer.
“Do you love me?” You asked him, your heart speaking the words your brain couldn’t let you pronounce. His eyes were set on the ground. You took two steps to him, grabbing his face and looking into his eyes.
“Tell me you don’t love me and I’ll drop it. We never have to talk about this again, we’ll finish with the mercenaries and I will never speak a word to you again. Just say the words. Tell me you don’t love me.”
Worried creases appeared on Bucky’s forehead, battling with himself. “I could never keep you safe. You will always be in danger.”
“Say it.” You ordered. “Say that you don’t love me but know that it won’t go away. I will always be something they hang over your head because I’ll love you forever.”
His steel blue eyes met yours and looked down at your lips.
“I’ll never be safe, but that’s a price I’m willing to pay if it means I get to spend even a minute back in your arms.” You whispered.
Bucky crashed his lips into yours, a rushed and feverish kiss that had you seeing stars. The type that has you gasping for air but not knowing that if it is your last, it was worth it. Bucky pulled you closer to him, his cologne and desperation made you dizzy.
“I’ll love you forever.” He whispered once you separated. “I promise to keep you safe, I’ll do whatever I have to. I cannot be without you, I was a fool to think I could.”
You smiled into his lips but his warmth left too soon.
Bucky placed another kiss on your lips before walking to the door. “I’ll be home soon.”
“Where are you going?” You gripped his arm, wanting nothing more than for him to come back to you.
He brought your hand to his mouth, placing a chaste kiss on your knuckles. “Anyone who dares to threaten you gets to see a part of me that I once buried.”
Your eyes met as he counted the bullets inside his gun and slid a knife into his pocket.
“Hurry back home.” You said.
For the first time in months, Bucky let out a smile.
Wanna read more like this? Here’s my latest post! 💖
Author's Note: I want to thank everyone for reading pt. 1 and encouraging me to write this! I hope you guys like it! As always pls comment reblog and like! Love you guyssss
Tags: @verygraphicink @rouge-raven13 @behindmygreyeyes @ximi1315 @runi1 @lia-winther @aneluvs @kpopgirlbtssvt
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Irrevocably [ZCL] (M)
Description: You were friends with benefits with Chenle until he got a girlfriend...fast forward months later, and now they've broken up--leaving Chenle to come back to you, very much in need of a distraction.
DID YOU MISS ME?! It's been so long someone should chop my hands off omg
Genre: Smut. Angst. Read at your own discretion!!! Read the warnings first please! It's mostly smut tho tbh
Also it's not proofread or anything crazy like that but I do hope y'all like it...I've been so busy sos
Content Warnings: Explicit, rough, unprotected sex (don't do the unprotected part), Chenle says pretty girl again (not sorry) and also slut because duality (again?), overstimulation, multiple orgasms (both), cum eating (like he actually eats his...own cum...), he's pretty pussy drunk in this he cums twice, Chenle is manipulative as hell in this!!! he is not a good guy in this fic!!! Do not read if you don't like it!!!!! Also I'm not sure if this can be considered infidelity but if you're sensitive to that topic read with caution!
Word Count: 4,877
Pairing: Zhong Chenle x Reader (mentions of Mark Lee x Reader)
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3
Juliet's Masterlist | Requests
You can’t even say you haven’t heard from him in a while. That’s far from the truth—and in your opinion, maybe you hear from him too often. Your friendship was constructed long before any other aspect, but for as long as you could remember, it’s been you and Chenle.
Now there’s you, and there’s him. Inherently separate.
Your situation with him was simple—friends with benefits. And everything was working great at first, and the end wasn’t traumatic and the world didn’t crumble. You weren’t in love with each other, and you both mutually understood that the second someone has the potential to become more in one of your lives that you’d stop immediately.
So, when Chenle started talking to his now girlfriend, you did the right thing. The respectful thing. You backed off, and you wouldn’t say you regret it. He’s happy—happier than he was before, and that’s all you want for him. You’ve been friends for forever, after all, and what would that make you if you had ill wishes for him?
It was three months after he started dating his girlfriend that he introduced you to one of his friends, Mark. Fortunately, you got along with him well, and he gave you a much needed distraction from the empty void Chenle had left in your life. He’d been more than sex, but less than love. He gave you company and companionship, even if it was in an unconventional way.
You’d been up front and honest with Mark about your relationship with Chenle, but he didn’t mind as long as you were sure there hadn’t been feelings involved. For Chenle, you weren’t sure if he ever told his girlfriend about you. You wouldn’t blame him if he hadn’t, but considering you’d been sleeping together up until their first date, it might have been a good thing to mention.
The difference was simple—you and Mark weren’t anything, not really, but Chenle and his girlfriend were, in their words, serious. In fact, in the past four months, you hadn’t even slept with Mark. The most he was at this point was someone to keep you company.
And then everything blew up.
Chenle called you at 9 p.m., almost nine months after he started dating his girlfriend. You were in your apartment by yourself, watching the same TV show for the 70th time. You stare at your phone screen in confusion before you answer it.
“Hey,”
“Hey.” He lets out a breath, and the defeat in his voice hints something’s wrong.
“Everything okay?” you ask him, sitting up on your couch.
“We broke up.” Chenle pauses, maybe to contemplate what he says next. “Can I come see you? I know it’s random, and I probably shouldn’t, but to be bluntly fucking honest, I’ve missed you.”
“We talk all the time,” you mention and cradle your knees to your chest.
The thought of allowing Chenle here so late scares you—old habits die hard. You feel like you owe more than that to both Mark and Chenle. Mark, because while you two aren’t together, you’ve grown quite close over the past few months. Chenle, because he’s probably not thinking straight at the moment.
“You’re the only one I can talk to about this,” he mumbles.
Your heart sinks. “It was because of me?”
“I…Not exactly. It wasn’t you at all. It was us. And it was me for not saying anything.” He sighs, and you envision the way he tugs his fingers through his hair.
“You never told her?”
“I didn’t think I needed to,” he says. “What am I supposed to say? ‘Oh, hey, by the way, I used to fuck one of my closest friends on the regular, but now that you’re here, I stopped.’ That doesn’t sound great.”
“Better than her finding out some other way.” You chew on your bottom lip. “I told Mark.”
“That’s different,” Chenle replies. “You’re not dating Mark.”
A moment of silence passes between you two, and when you don’t respond, he clears his throat.
“Oh. You are.”
“It’s not like that.”
“So, what is it like? Is it like what we were?” He sounds shorter, as if he’s no longer enjoying the conversation.
You scoff. “It’s none of your business, Chenle. Mark is nice. And you’re the one who introduced us anyway.”
“Mark is nice,” he repeats, snorting. “You act like I don’t know you. Nice isn’t exactly your type.”
“You can come here if you stop being a dick,” you tell him. “But we’re only talking.”
“Good. I’ve got a lot to say.”
You debate changing after he hangs up, but Chenle’s already seen you at your worst. Your shorts and T-shirt won’t faze him in the slightest. Nerves like this haven’t swarmed you since the first time you slept with him. Clearly, your body doesn’t get the memo that this isn’t a booty call.
And when he arrives, you realize how well he fits. The dim, golden lighting reflecting off of his skin, the dark, oversized clothes he likes to wear, the way his hair is parted. Everything about him is exactly as you remember. It’s odd to think that way, because really, you’ve seen him as often as you used to. Things were just…different.
And under these circumstances, it’s awkward. But even when he was dating his girlfriend, there were times where the two of you were alone—nothing ever happened, of course, but it hadn’t ever been so nerve wracking until now.
It isn’t for long, though. Within seconds of your thoughts running wild, he’s closing the distance between you and pulling you into a tight hug. You exhale in relief and return the gesture with no hesitation. He takes a deep breath, almost as if he’s inhaling your scent.
Something about this hurts. Your ribcage suddenly feels like a prison, and all you want is for your heart to be free. Why does it feel like something’s stabbing it?
“I’m sorry for asking to come over so late,” he whispers. “And for being a dick about Mark. It’s not my business.”
There’s a twist deep in your chest. You wonder if there’s truly anything left in there.
“It’s okay, Le.” Your voice is muffled by his shirt. “Let’s sit and you can tell me what happened.”
You move away from him, lightly grabbing his hand to lead him over to your couch. When you’re both seated, he rests his head on your shoulder. You reach up to play with his hair, and instinct you became familiar with when he needed comfort back when you two were messing around.
“She asked about you.” His fingers toy with yours, warm touch gently grazing your skin. “Really, I had no idea what to say. There isn’t much to say, you know? So, that’s what I said. I told her we’ve been friends for forever and…that’s it.”
“Technically not wrong.” You chuckle, but the ache within you only grows.
“I went to shower and when I got out, she was going through my phone. By the time I realized what she was doing, she’d already found more than enough to be pissed.”
“What was it?”
“Pictures. In our text conversations from like…almost a year ago. I get why she was upset, you know? But it’s not like they were recent. Or even in my camera roll, for fuck’s sake.” He shuffles a bit closer, his warmth pressing into you. “But I should’ve checked and made sure. Or something. So, I’m sorry someone else saw those, (Y/N).”
“Did I look good at least?” you joke.
“Oh, fuck off.” He laughs, shaking his head. “You always look good and you know it.”
You get a sudden, overwhelming urge to look at him. His words make your stomach turn, and you’re desperate to figure out what the hell is going on with you.
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah.” He ponders for a moment. “I thought I’d be a little more upset, but the only thing I was really thinking about was coming to see you.”
Chenle sits up, eyebrows slightly furrowed as he takes you in. His gentle brown eyes trail over you, unrecognizable emotions swimming around in his irises. You find him still as extraordinary as ever. His features so sharp, lips perfectly full. You fight the craving to reach out and trace his jawline.
“It’s just…” he murmurs. “It just always comes back to you, doesn’t it?”
“Chenle…”
“It’s been so long,” he continues. “Since I’ve seen you like this.”
“We hung out all the time.”
“No. Not like this. I know why you did, but you got so distant from me. Didn’t you ever think about me? That whole time?” He wets his lips.
“How could you ask me that?” you breathe out. “I thought about you all the time, but you weren’t mine to think about.”
“When I thought of you, it used to hurt. I used to have to distract myself from you because it was wrong to want you when I had everything else.” His gaze flicks down to your lips, and you feel every ounce of you crumble to pieces.
“It’s not…wrong anymore,” you say.
His eyes flutter shut, eyelashes brushing against his cheeks, and the next thing you know, his mouth is on yours. You let out a shaky breath against him, but quickly reciprocate what he gives you. All hesitation is out the window now, all thoughts of him being too upset at a moment like this fly from your brain.
It’s Chenle. He’s kissing you. This is familiar. Right, even.
“God, it’s been too long.” He reaches up to cup your cheek, thumb rubbing your skin. “Need you, baby. Never wanna lose you like that again.”
Your heart is beating so fast, you’re not exactly sure how to respond to that. The longer you take in every word leaving his mouth, the quicker you realize what’s happening to you.
You haven’t slept with Mark because you do have feelings for Chenle. It hits you like a freight train, and the fear sinks in only for a second before you slam your lips back to his. Being with him like this feels good, like nothing could go wrong.
The quietest moan slips from his mouth into yours, and just like it used to, heat floods your core. His hand slips beneath your shirt, his scalding touch trailing across your side before settling on the small of your back.
You pull away from him and gently push against his chest. “Do you even know what you’re doing right now?”
“Need a distraction.” He swallows hard. “That’s what we are for each other right? She’s out of the picture, so I get to have you again?”
You shake your head. “Only when we’re both available. Not just you.”
“Did you fuck him?” Chenle tone drops, a dark hint of jealousy gracing those narrowed brown eyes. One of his hands drops down to your thigh, tracing along the hem of your shorts. “Is that why you don’t want me anymore? He’s better or something?”
You let out a shaky breath. “I—Chenle, I haven’t.”
Wetting his lips, his touch trails higher, his skin burning against yours in the best way. “Don’t you miss me? Or at least the way I made you feel? When’s the last time someone made you cum?”
He notices when your legs press together, desperate for any sort of friction between them. You’re fighting every urge you have, wanting nothing more than to have Chenle right here on your couch, but something holds you back.
Leaning closer, he hums lowly in your ear, “You know what I can do.” His lips press against the spot below your ear, slowly heading down until his tongue runs along your pulse.
“Damn it,” you groan, pushing him back. “Take your pants off.”
As you stand up to push your shorts and panties to the floor, he lifts his hips to push his sweats to down his legs. He reaches into his boxers and strokes himself slowly.
“C’mon, baby.” He smirks at you. “Sit on it.”
You straddle his lap, bracing your hands on his shoulders as he pulls his cock out. One hand grips your hip and he holds you above him.
“Do we need a condom?” he asks, gaze glazed with want.
“I haven’t slept with anyone,” you mutter, face heating up for more reasons than one.
“It was just…” he trails off and gulps. “You know. I’m clean.”
The idea of him with her is almost enough to snap you out of it, but the last thing you plan on doing is getting off his lap. You ignore the sting of your heart and instead trade it for the sting of your walls stretching to accommodate Chenle with no prep. Whining at the pain, you stop after a couple inches.
“S’okay, baby,” he encourages you. “Take it slow.”
You dig your nails into his shoulders, lifting up before sinking back down to take a bit more of him than the last time. He breathes heavily, biting down on his bottom lip while his chest heaves.
“Just a little more.” Chenle slowly pulls you closer until he’s fully seated inside you.
The stretch has your legs shaking, whimpers escaping you as he whispers praises to you.
“Such a good girl,” he coos. “Letting me fill this pretty pussy with my cock.”
Chenle tugs your shirt over your head, freeing your bare breasts. He lets out a small sound at the sight before leaning down to kiss them, teeth nipping and tongue flicking your nipple.
Unable to hold back anymore, you push him back harshly. His lips part as you grind, sweet moans escaping him at the same time yours do.
“So tight,” he groans. “You waited ‘cause you knew no one else could do this to you, huh?”
“Shut up,” you command him.
His eyebrows raise for the briefest moment, until you start bouncing on his cock. Wetness starts squelching around the two of you, aiding you in your quick movements on top of him.
“Yeah, that’s it, baby.” Chenle thrusts up to match you, hands trailing around your body to squeeze your ass harshly. A slap comes next, the sound resounding through the room.
Your hips jolt, thrown off your rhythm at the stinging sensation on your skin. Nails leaving angry, red crescent moons in his skin, you rock back and forth to stabilize yourself before continuing. The sound of your arousal would embarrass you under any other circumstances, but the fucked out expression on Chenle’s face is enough to keep you going.
You don’t hold back your moans, letting the needs of your body take over instead of whatever the hell is going on in your head. He feels so fucking good inside you, the rough slide of his length against your walls, the way he throbs with want for you. The twitch of his cock inside you has a knot tightening in your stomach.
“Look at me,” he says roughly.
You don’t bother listening, too focused on your own pleasure to justify stopping.
“I said fucking look at me.” He grabs your face, pulling you close so you're inches away from him, hooded, hazy brown eyes devouring you. “Keep fucking yourself on my cock.”
You let out a weak moan, legs aching as you continue, but you know you need more. Trying to grind down, you do whatever you can to get friction on your clit. Whines slip past your lips, with the mind-shattering high just out of reach.
“Use your words, pretty girl.” Chenle slaps your ass again.
“Close,” you practically whimper. “Touch me. Fuck, please.”
Immediately, he lets go of his harsh grip on your cheeks, reaching between you two and quickly finding your clit. Your nails scratch down his shoulders, leaving marks as his fast circles push you over the edge.
You scream out in pleasure, your vision blacking out as you’re swept up in your climax. Crumpling into him, you squirm on top of him until he wraps his arm around your waist, warm seed coating your insides.
His chest heaves, lips parting as he rests his head back on the couch cushion. He gulps and strokes your hair while still slowly rocking up into you. You finally work up the energy to get off of him, but he holds you down.
“No,” he murmurs, breathless. “Not yet. Not done.”
Your body heats all over again, the idea of another round sends tingle down your spine. Goosebumps form on your skin, but you listen. Something has to make up for the lost time between you two.
“Need you again.” He nips where your neck and shoulder connects. “Can I take you to your room?”
You nod, unable to speak. He lifts you deftly from the couch, carefully walking over to your room like he’s done hundreds of times before. You hold onto him desperately, never wanting to let him go for more reasons than one.
As soon as you’re both on your bed, he’s already beginning to thrust again. You dig your nails into his back, but he grabs both of your wrists and pins them above your head.
“Be good,” he warns, filling you up over and over, ever so slowly. “Little pussy’s so greedy, sucking me in like this.”
Your eyes roll back in your head, the weight of him on top of you making you whine until your throat’s raw.
Every nerve-ending is on edge from your previous high, skin tingling and burning wherever his fingers trace shapes on you. You can barely keep your eyes open, the gentle brush of his chest against yours has your weak-minded state reading into this much more than you should.
If you could form actual words, you’d probably accidentally confess to him. He works through his own overstimulation, his jaw clenched tightly as he works your body expertly.
“I missed you,” he whispers, dipping his head down to nip along your neck. “Did you miss me?”
“Yes,” you force out, barely able to muster up the words. “God, yes.”
He hums, tonguing along the pulse in your neck. “You didn’t fuck him ‘cause he can’t make you feel like this, can he?”
You want to be mad at him for bringing Mark up at a time like this, but his words only make you shiver. He’s right. You can’t be mad at him when he’s right, and certainly not when your brain is fuzzy with the pleasure of his cock rubbing so, so slowly against your inner walls. Nobody could ever fill you like Chenle does.
“Answer me.” He thrusts particularly hard, jolting you up the mattress.
“Fuck, he can’t make me feel like you do.” You’re not entirely sure if your words are coherent, but Chenle seems satisfied by what you said.
“And you’d better remember that, too.” He releases your wrists and reaches between you two, resuming circles on your clit. “Could fuck you all night. You’d like that, wouldn’t you? Getting your cunt filled with my cum as many times as you can handle?”
You wrap your legs around his waist in a desperate attempt to keep him close, the angle allowing him slightly deeper inside you. Between the delicious stretch of your walls and the uniform, skilled rubbing on your sensitive bud, your body shudders uncontrollably. Your back arches and your hands fly to his hair, loud, obscene moans pouring from your lips.
Chenle’s thrusts pick up as he helps you ride out your high, eyebrows furrowed as he tries to keep his steady pace. He slows to a stop, sweat making his hair stick to his forehead, he kisses you, tongue already slipping past your lips to dominate your mouth the same way he’s dominated the rest of you.
“Think you can get on all fours for me?” he asks, his breath fanning across your face.
“Again?”
“Please, baby, I’m close already, just need a little more.” He presses kisses on your cheeks and the tip of your nose. “I need it so bad.”
You nod, shakily removing your legs from around his waist. He guides you to the position he wants, your head resting on the mattress as he squeezes your ass.
“You’re still so fucking wet,” he groans, a slap resonating around the room. “Might wanna hold on, pretty girl. I’m not going easy on you.”
Despite being an absolute rag doll, you clench in excitement at the idea of having him inside you again. You push back toward him, urging him to fuck you. He uses his knee to nudge your legs apart, and even though they’re shaking, you plan on letting him pound into you until they fucking give out.
He runs the head up and down your folds, switching between barely pushing his tip inside and tapping it on your clit.
“God, I can’t fucking take this anymore,” Chenle growls, and the next thing you know, he’s thrusting inside you with as much force as he can. You scream, gripping onto the sheets and biting down on a pillow to attempt to silence yourself.
With all the stimulation, you feel constantly on the edge of another orgasm. His hips slap against your ass, the clapping sounds emphasizing your pleasure. Squelches of wetness float around too, the stickiness dripping down your thighs onto the bed the longer he has you in this position.
He shifts slightly so his balls smack your twitching clit with every thrust. You’re barely able to think straight, and you’re half-sure you’re drooling, but Chenle slams you into your third orgasm of the night rather easily. Your legs threaten to buckle, and he loops his arm around you to keep you up.
After a couple more thrusts, he moans loudly and spills deep inside you, chest heaving at the effort. Both of you wait in silence for a few moments, him to regain composure and you to remember how to breathe. He gently pulls out of you, turning you to drop your back down on the mattress. Once he gets out of bed, he stops in front of you and pulls you to the edge by your ankles. Nudging your legs apart, he sinks down to his knees.
“What are you doing?” you ask, rising up to your shaky elbows.
“Need a taste,” he says, mesmerized by the mess leaking out of your entrance. Swiping some of it up on his finger, he offers it to you. “Taste us, pretty girl. We’re so good together.”
You lean closer and wrap your lips around him, giving a harsh suck before you release him.
“God, baby, your pussy is so perfect when you’re leaking my cum.”
You’re not expecting him to move forward and flatten his tongue against your core. He holds your hips down to the bed, tentatively licking your slit. Without much effort from him, he’s reduced you to a mewling mess again, core throbbing with sensitivity even when he barely touches you. Your arms immediately give out, slumping you back onto the sheets as he works your core with his tongue.
It’s odd how much the idea of him eating you out when he came inside you turns you on. As limp as your body is, you relish in all of the pleasure he’s willing to give you. His tongue dances around your slit, alternating between slipping it between your folds and flicking your clit. You lazily tangle your fingers in his hair, tugging just enough for him to moan against you.
Your hips jerk when his lips wrap around your bud, and next thing you know, his hands hold you down. You call out his name, pulling with the grip you have on his hair to tell him you’re much too sensitive to continue.
“I know, baby,” he murmurs, blowing cold air on you. “Just a little bit more, okay? One more time.”
And then he’s back at the apex of your thighs, working much faster and harsher with his movements to get you to the edge faster. You shatter all over again, a mantra of noises passing by your lips as your thighs clench around his head.
You must actually black out for a moment, because when you come to, Chenle has pulled away from your core, his lips and chin coated with your arousal. He wipes his mouth with the back of his hand, his expression equally as exhausted as yours.
He grabs a towel to clean you up, but both of you are beyond tired from all the activity. You shift up on your bed, not bothering to say anything else to him as you slide beneath your blanket. When you and Chenle did things before, he always stayed. He always pulled you into his chest and whispered sweet nothings into your ear until you fell asleep.
You’re not sure if that will be the case today.
Except he does. He carefully crawls into bed next to you, turning you toward him and pulling you to him. Kissing the top of your head, he taps his fingers against your arm.
“I really missed you,” he says.
“Me, too.” You nod, but something makes your heart twist in your chest.
“Can I be honest for a second?”
“Of course.”
“I knew the pictures were there,” he whispers. “Maybe it’s shitty, but I couldn’t delete them. Sometimes, I looked back at our old conversations—not the sexual ones—and just…thought of you. I couldn’t do anything to erase you and what we did from my life. I didn’t want to.”
You wonder if that’s his idea of a confession. If he’s trying to tell you he has unresolved feelings for you.
“Then why did you stay with her?”
“I don’t know.” He shrugs. “Everyone liked her. My mom told me she thought I’d end up marrying her. She obviously didn’t know about…this. But I couldn’t fucking stop, (Y/N). Everything came back to you.”
“We’ll talk about this in the morning,” you offer. “I’m exhausted.”
“Yeah…” Chenle takes a deep breath. “Yeah. Let’s talk in the morning.”
You and Chenle wake at the same time, to the sound of his phone on the bedside table. Groaning, you massage your forehead and turn away from him. When he answers it, your interest is piqued.
“Hey.” Sleep still weighs on his voice, making it scratchy. “No, I’m not at home.”
There’s a pause, and the vague sound of the other person responding makes your heart twist violently in your chest. It’s her.
“Would you stop jumping to conclusions? I’m at Jisung’s.” Irritation laces in his tone.
You should say something. Let her know somehow that he’s lying, but you don’t. You stay silent in your hurt and wait to see what he could possibly do next.
“Yeah, forgive me for not wanting to be alone after what happened.” Chenle scoffs and runs his fingers through his hair. A sigh follows. “Damn it, I told you that was done. I’m sorry you saw those, okay? They’re from…over a year ago. It didn’t seem relevant to bring it up, and she’s still my friend, so.”
Friend. You almost laugh out loud, but again, you don’t say a word.
“Yeah, of course. Where?”
Another pause from Chenle.
“Yeah, I’ll stop by my house and then I’ll be over there. I’ll see you in half an hour?”
Your heart feels like it’s being shredded into a thousand tiny pieces.
“Thank you.” He sighs, his body deflating. “I’m so sorry for all of this, you know that, right? I’ll see you soon. I love you.”
Tears sting your eyes, and as soon as he hangs up the phone, he hops up to go grab his clothes from the living room. You sit up in your bed, blanket clutched to your chest as you watch him scramble to get dressed.
“I’m sorry, (Y/N), I have to go,” he says, walking back into your room. Leaning in, he attempts to press a kiss to your lips. You turn away from him, chewing the inside of your cheek.
“Where are you going?” you ask, even though you already know the answer.
“She…She wants to talk it out. And I have to go. You understand why, right?” His eyes widen as he scans over your face.
When you say nothing, he sighs.
“I’ll text you later. You can answer or not. Whatever you want to do.” He walks toward the door to your bedroom, but you stop him when he reaches the threshold.
Your eyes sting, your body’s sore, and all you wanted was to tell him the truth this morning. Now it’s clear to you—he’ll never feel the same way for you. He’ll drop anything and everything—you included—if it meant getting her back.
“Chenle.”
He stops, turning to you.
“She’s going to make you choose,” you warn him. “Between her and me.”
Chenle pauses, fingertips gripping the frame. “I know.”
With that, you have nothing else to say, and he wouldn’t have time to hear it anyway. He leaves without another word to you, and when he’s far enough away, your tears finally fall. You want to scream and yell, but your throat is too raw from the long night before to even attempt it.
#nct#nct dream#chenle#nct imagines#nct dream smut#nct scenarios#zhong chenle#chenle x reader#chenle angst#chenle fluff#chenle smut#nct smut#nct angst
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Shy guy (3) - Past
Summary: You grew up together. Bucky is the one. He’s just too shy to make a move.
Pairing (future): Shy!Bucky Barnes x Fratgirl!Reader
Sidepairing (friendship): Steve Rogers x Reader
Warnings: sweet Steve, John Walker hate, John Walker being the worst, harassment, fluff, angst, a little time jump
Inspired by this ask: Shy guy ask and @dawn-petrichor-world made me do it…
<;< Shy guy (2) - Past
Shy guy masterlist
Age of 14, …
“Why is Jamie not here?” You sniffle and wipe your eyes. It’s your birthday and your friend Jamie didn’t come to your birthday party.
“His mom wants him to play with other kids too,” Steve softly says. He pats your back and awkwardly tries to soothe you. “I’m sorry. He’s busy with some other boy from his old neighborhood. He moved to town with his mom.”
“A boy?” You are crying now. “But he’s our friend. Jamie is my best friend, and he won’t come to my party for some boy?”
“Hey, we can have fun without him. I’m sure Bucky will apologize for not coming to your party on Monday. He’s…” Steve sighs. “Puberty sucks, okay. Bucky needs some alone time without a girl hanging on to his every word. That other guy told him he can’t be friends with a girl without being…”
“Being what, Stevie?” You whimper. "Tell me!"
“Her boyfriend,” Steve puckers his lips. “Don’t be sad. I will always be your friend. Steve Rogers is a friend for a lifetime.” He grins when you hide your face in his chest.
You are the only girl whose heart he hasn’t broken yet. Steve doesn’t know why, but you are like a sister to him.
“I don’t like Jamie anymore. He’s so mean,” you cry and whimper. “Why did he do this? I invited him and his sister. Rebecca came, but he didn’t. I hate him!”
“Hey,” Steve jogs after you to walk you home from school. “Did he apologize? I haven’t seen Bucky around today.”
“He was talking to that boy John all the time,” you sniff. “I don’t like that boy. He’s mean. When Jamie wasn’t looking he grinned at me and cupped his…”
“He cupped what, Y/N?” Steve's eyes widen when you tell him that John cupped his crotch and made an obscene noise. “That bastard is dead! I’m going to break his nose!”
“Steve,” you grab Steve’s wrist. “He’s not worth it. If Jamie doesn’t see that guy is no good, I don’t want to be his friend anymore.”
You sniffle and runoff, dashing along the street only to stumble and fall.
“Y/N!” Steve chases after you to help you get up. “Did you get hurt? Wait, I’ll help you.”
“Awe, look at this James. The hero in shiny armor helps her up. LOSER!” John smirks at Steve. Your friend squares his jaw, ready to throw a few punches, but he decides against it. He needs to bring you home first.
“You’re an asshole Walker!” Steve bites back. “And you, Bucky!” He sneers. “I can’t believe you let that bastard talk about your friend like this while he’s after Y/N. He only makes you do all this to get Y/N for himself.”
“What?” Bucky watches his friend grab your backpack and help you up. “Is that true John? Do you want her to be your girlfriend?”
“I wouldn’t poke that asshole with a stick,” you grunt as Steve wraps one arm around your waistline to help you walk. “You’re not my friend anymore, James Buchanan Barnes. I hate you!”
Steve slowly walks next to you, soothing you on your way home. You’re crying and he feels helpless. He’s only fourteen years old and has no clue how to help you.
“He’ll apologize. You’ll see…”
Three months later, …
Bucky tried anything to get you to talk to him. It took him three months to convince you that he’s no longer friends with John Walker.
Still, something broke inside of you. You don’t see Bucky like you saw him before all this happened. Your heart still hangs on him, but Steve proved that he’s a better friend than Bucky could ever be.
One wrong friend, a few words and he left you hanging and ignored you.
“I got a belated birthday gift for you,” he shyly hands you a beautifully wrapped gift. “Rebecca helped me with the ribbon.”
“Oh, that’s…nice,” you can’t be happy. The gift only reminds you that Bucky didn’t come to your party because of John Walker. “I’ll unpack it later.”
Bucky sighs. He had hoped you’d like the gift and that you would be all over him like you used to do. “Uh-I hope you like it. I thought of you when I bought it.”
You roll your eyes. “I hope so because it’s a gift for me.”
He flinches at your icy tone. Bucky knows something shifted in your friendship due to his mistake. You talked more to Steve and pulled away from Bucky over the last weeks.
He only hopes you didn’t change your mind about marrying him one day…
Another month later, ...
Bucky stuffs more popcorn into his mouth. He watches you giggle at something Steve said about the stupid movie he chose for movie night.
“Can we—?” Bucky grunts as you shush him. “Can we watch the movie now?” He murmurs, afraid to speak louder with Steve around. His friend is like an overprotective big brother to you since Bucky let you down and Bucky fears he will make his threat come true and rip him a new one.
“Aw, look at him Stevie,” you jump at Bucky to tickle his sides. “He’s jealous because I got the biggest slice of pizza.”
“No-stop!” Bucky laughs and squeals as you won’t stop tickling him.
Steve watches you with his friend, humming as he hopes Bucky won’t mess things up with you again.
He’s already got his hands full with all the girls swooning all over him. He can’t always be around to protect you.
Even though, he loves you like a sister.
Part 4
Tags in reblog.
#bucky barnes#young!bucky barnes#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes x you#Shy guy (3) - Past#angst#bucky barnes x female reader
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Traitor
A/N: its been a little while. Back with some more angst haha. This will be a 2 part, maybe even a 3 part 🙂
Pairing: Mattheo x Fem! Raventclaw Reader
Warnings: angst
Ooh-ooh-ooh
Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah
It’s funny how you can go from happily in a relationship one minute and then sour, almost bitter from the ending of it, the next. That is what happened to you. Blissfully happy with Mattheo Riddle during your fifth year. You had spent your Easter holidays at home, accompanying your father to a Ministry party. You had been at your father’s side to start before finding yourself sitting alone. Sometime later your father had returned to you with two familiar Slytherin boys in tow, Draco Malfoy and Mattheo Riddle. Your father had business with Lucius Malfoy and had said you and the two males could keep each other company. It was a start to a budding friendship for the three of you. By the time you returned to Hogwarts you and Mattheo had a flirtatious thing going on. Soon it led to dating and by the end of May you were his girlfriend.
The rest of the year was learning about each other and learning how to function in a relationship. For the most of it, it was good. But slowly you started to see how possessive Mattheo could get, or his jealous tendencies. Though you learned it was due to his home life and up bringing. You talked it out with him as best you could, as he gave vague answers to your questions. You were satisfied with what you learnt. What would be red flags, were more pink after your talk. You didn’t push him more then needed, you didn’t want to cause him to shut off from you or end your relationship. So, fifth year ended with your relationship being solid, and happy.
After a decent summer holiday, the 1st of September returned and off to Hogwarts came around marking your sixth year. You returned with Mattheo at your side, hands locked together. Your relationship strong and seeming to only get stronger. Unfortunately, you didn’t foresee you’d make it to the New Year before Mattheo broke up with you. You asked him all the typically questions to why he was breaking up with you, and you got a typical answer from the brunet with the deepest brown eyes.
Brown guilty eyes and little white lies
Yeah, I played dumb but I always knew
That you'd talk to her, maybe did even worse
I kept quiet so I could keep you
You recall the 2nd of January; you were enjoying the afternoon sun in the courtyard when Mattheo approached you. You were all smiles when seeing him, greeting him before starting to talk about your upcoming classes in a few days. It wasn’t long before he cut you off, his tone harsh and a tad formal. It was unlike him to be like that. For the Mattheo you knew was considerate, patient and an attentive listener. This Mattheo was someone you didn’t know. Looking at him in confusion he took that as his cue to speak.
“Y/N, I have been thinking during Christmas break” he started looking down at his feet. “I have found the last almost seven months to have been a wonderful time together” he looked up at you with those deep brown eyes of his, they shone with guilt.
You felt a sudden cold sensation wash over you. “Theo, you’re…you’re not saying what I think your saying” you said shakily, scared eyes looking back at him.
He nodded his head once, “yes, it is Y/N”.
You felt sick with every word he said. You hadn’t even known there was a problem with your relationship. You thought you were both happy, and in love. But here he was, breaking up with you. And the first thing you thought of was her. The Slytherin girl named Anna Frost, blonde long locks, green eyes and petite form. Mattheo had over the last three months became close to the girl, his friend as he called her. But you always thought there was something there. Before telling yourself, you were just being silly, a little jealous.
“We have had so many amazing times together” a small sad smile forming on his lips before he went back to a blank expression. “But we’ve run our course Y/N/N. I hope we can still be friends”.
Friends. That was a slap to the face, adding salt to an exposed wound. How could he say that to you? It was like the Mattheo you knew was dead, and the person before you were an imposter. Or was this who he really was? Had he played you the whole time? No, he hadn’t. You had shared so many personal and private things together.
“I-I don’t understand” you sputtered, trying to wrap your head around it.
He sighed. “I had wanted to be as nice as possible about this” his tone cold. “Us, we are over. We are done”. And without waiting for your reply, Mattheo walked off. Leaving you alone, cold, mind reeling and uncomfortable with the eyes currently on you.
So, you gathered your belongings before rushing back to your Ravenclaw dorm room. Where you finally cried as it sunk in. Mattheo dumped you. Your whimsical romance was over. Your heart ripped out and stomped on by the Slytherin Devil himself.
And ain't it funny
How you ran to her
The second that we called it quits?
And ain't it funny
How you said you were friends?
Now it sure as hell don't look like it
Gossip in the few days after your breakup told you that as soon as Mattheo broke up with you, he was running off to his blonde Slytherin friend. They were seen hanging out together, along with Draco, Pansy Parkinson, Theodore Nott and Lorenzo Berkshire. All chatting and laughing away, like only ten minutes before, when he broke up with you, didn’t happen. He acted like nothing transpired, you hadn’t existed, or he’d been in a relationship with you. It hurt to hear that. The girls in your Ravenclaw dorm were there for you and told you before you heard it from anyone else.
But as your mind started to think everything over, you thought it funny how he ran off after breaking up with you to her. Now it sure as hell didn’t look like friends with them. Who goes from the girl they broke up with, to their female friend and act like their ex didn’t exist? The times you had thought you were being silly, and jealous, over the Slytherin girl were now not a laughing matter. His actions spoke loud and clear.
You betrayed me
And I know that you'll never feel sorry
For the way I hurt, yeah
You'd talk to her
When we were together
Loved you at your worst
But that didn't matter
It took you two weeks
To go off and date her
Guess you didn't cheat
But you're still a traitor
Betrayal. The best word to describe what Mattheo had done to you. You had been there for him, for the good times and the bad. But also, the worst moments, which usually involved his home life. He would get letters, which he never showed you and you respected his privacy, but they would leave him almost a shell of himself. So, you would be the one to drag him somewhere you both could be alone. You’d hold him and tell him all the great things about him. Slowly building him back up till he was almost himself again. He had been so grateful for those moments. And the way he’d repay you was giving you all his attention when he could or taking you to Hogsmeade and making those dates so special. Mattheo treated you like a Princess for all the kindness you gave him.
Finally processing what had happened, you were left feeling sour, bitter from how it ended. And those feelings only got worse as after two weeks Mattheo and Anna started dating. It was the hot gossip Monday morning, as they walked into the Great Hall together holding hands. That had been how you both had entered the hall every mealtime, before parting ways to sit at respected tables, though your eyes were always watching the other. Mattheo and Anna sat side by side at the Slytherin table, that was on display to you. As you unconsciously sat where you had always sat. You looked away from them as you picked at your food, occasionally eating. But every now and then you would look to them. Anna fussed over Mattheo and laughed at whatever was said. Or there was the time you looked, and they were talking with Draco and Pansy, he smiled softly at their conversation while Anna held onto Mattheo’s arm.
Now you bring her around
Just to shut me down
Show her off like she's a new trophy
And I know if you were true
There's no damn way that you
Could fall in love with somebody that quickly
With every encounter you had with the two; either shared classes, mealtimes, hallways, etc. Your mixed emotions grew. Seeing them together was a constant slap in the face. Such as Potions class. They were partners, Anna always making goo-goo eyes at Mattheo and doing anything to get close to him. It made you sick, you wanted to throw up. Thankfully your Potions partner and fellow Ravenclaw, Hugo Andrews, could see how it was effecting you. He was sweet, doing everything to distract you, getting you to focus on the potion Snape had you brewing.
But every now and then you would hear Anna’s stupid laugh. And you would wince, another hit to your crumbling resolve. When you would sneak a look, you would see Mattheo close to her, playing around and looking happy, almost in love. That was it. You turned away, focused on the potion and told yourself it was done.
Ain't it funny
All the twisted games
All the questions you used to avoid?
Ain't it funny?
Remember I brought her up
And you told me I was paranoid
Over time, as much as you pushed Mattheo from your mind, everything would resurface. Even more so when people would talk to you, either fishing for gossip or genuinely confused to what happened. And at random times you would go over everything in your head, trying to work out what happened.
But then one night, while laying awake in bed, you once again began to mull it all over. It was funny that over the three months of his new friendship you started out with subtle questions, before them getting more blunt. He would either tip toe around them, give short vague answers, or plain out tell you that you were over thinking it all. Yet part of you knew something hadn’t been right. And them getting together confirmed that.
You betrayed me
And I know that you'll never feel sorry
For the way I hurt, yeah
You'd talk to her
When we were together
Loved you at your worst
But that didn't matter
It took you two weeks
To go off and date her
Guess you didn't cheat
But you're still a traitor
God, I wish that you had thought this through
Before I went and fell in love with you
(Ah-ah-ah)
Saturday afternoon was a lazy one. You had taken to going for a walk, to clear your head and escape from the castle of gossip and your ex. The fresh air was nice, it was still cold but it was mid February. Which meant winter was almost over, and spring (your favourite season) was coming. Looking around the grounds, which still had some white covering it, green patches here and there. You couldn’t wait for the grass to be a vibrant green, and wild flowers to cover patches of the land.
You could already picture laying in the wild flowers, warm sun beaming down on you. You’d pick dandelions and blow the white sprouts from the stem, watching the wind carry off the seeds. But then you remembered how you would do that with Mattheo. How you would lounge together in the flowers, soaking up the sun. You would talk about school or random things while watching the sky. The sweet moments you both shared sent your heart aching.
The peace and quiet didn’t last, as you heard the faint crunch of snow under feet. Upon turning around you found the person you were just thinking about. You felt a rush of anger, how dare he walk where you usually went. How dare he have done many things to you, or to hurt you. Glaring at the approaching figure, you wanted him to know he was unwelcome. Hoping he would see your state, turn around & scurry off back to the dungeons of the castle, never to be seen again. But nope, you were wrong.
Mattheo had seen you leave the castle, he had watched you leave the front doors of the school, walk around the side of the building, past the turn off for the Quidditch area and down the familiar path you’d both taken. He knew you wanted to be alone, but he had to talk to you. Yes, he wasn’t stupid, he’d seen your reaction to everything that had been going on since your break up. He had even heard the gossip students were saying, majority of it being all lies. Part of him felt bad, responsible for your state.
The glare on your face told him he wasn’t welcome, but he wouldn’t back down. Sporting a blank face, Mattheo stared at you. “Y/N” he said with a nod of his head. “How are you?”
That was it. Hearing those words pass Mattheo Riddles lips opened up the floodgate of your emotions and thoughts. He would regret those words after you’re done with him. Your nostrils flared as you took in a sharp breath.
“You want to know how I am?” You asked a little too calmly, to which he nodded his head. “Well I don’t know. Maybe I am upset, maybe I am angry. Maybe I am confused. Or maybe I am all that and more Riddle” you spat out his surname.
Mattheo’s eyes widened. He hadn’t thought you would be like this. He thought you would say you were sad and angry, you’d both talk it out and you’d both move on. He didn’t expect you would be furious, possibly wanting his blood. As the saying goes: Hell hath no furry like a woman scorned.
When she's sleeping in the bed we made
Don't you dare forget about the way
“Do you expect me to be fine? Happy for your new relationship?” You asked, spitting out the word relationship. “Do you expect me to act like the time we were together meant nothing? Like it never happened? I can’t, because it meant something to me...”
Mattheo moved from foot to foot, his calm and uncaring image starting to slip. “Y/N, I’m sorry you feel like this” he started, and you scoffed rolling your eyes. “I genuinely didn’t know you were taking it this hard-“
“Seriously!? Everyone with functioning eyes can see how I have been” you cut him off. “Oh I’m sorry, I forgot if it doesn’t involve you, it wasn’t important”.
His eyes darker and focused on you. “No, that is not true”.
“Huh, it is. Its always about you. After all you got to know your knew girlfriend before ending it with me, and jumped into a relationship with her not long after we ended. Hence why it’s all about you, or else you’d have considered me and my feelings before doing what you did”.
Mattheo was silent for a moment, trying to keep calm. “I did think about you...I ended it because we ran our course. I didn’t want to string you along”.
You laughed bitterly. “Sure, tell yourself what you have to Riddle. You betrayed me. 'Cause I know that you'll never feel sorry, for the way I hurt, yeah?” it was a rhetorical question. “You'd talk to her, when we were together. You gave me your word, but that didn't matter”.
“That’s not fair” Mattheo argued, but you weren’t having it.
“It took you two weeks, to go off and date her. Guess you didn't cheat. But you're still... you're still a traitor” you said it all in a rush, letting everything you’d been holding back out. “Yeah, you're still a traitor!”
Getting the words and feelings out released a weight you’d been carrying around. He needed to see how hurt you were, how furious you were, how frantic you were. Mattheo needed to know he had broken you, but now you were going to build yourself back up. You were done with him, done with how you felt.
Mattheo stood there like a deer in headlights. He hadn’t expected you to say what you said, or really unload all you had. Nor did he blame you. He deserved what he got. He figured you would be hurt but not to this extent. Mattheo Riddle had hurt you deeply, and now you were done with him for good. And he didn’t like that. If only he hadn’t had to do what he did. If only it could have been different.
Ooh-ooh-ooh
Seeing as he wasn’t going to say anything you decided it was time to leave. Turning from the boy before you, you didn’t bother to look at him. Or else you’d have seen the hurt in his eyes, along with unshed tears. Or how his shoulders slumped, or how weak he was right then.
After taking a few steps you stopped, but not looking back you said; “God, I wish that you had thought this through...before I went and fell in love with you”.
With those final words, the final goodbye, you left Mattheo alone. He watched your retreating form, with each step his heart cracking. And then when you were gone from sight, his heart shattered. For he had not wanted to break up with you, he didn’t want to jump into a relationship with Anna, he didn’t want to hurt you, and he didn’t want you to walk away from him for good.
“I wish I didn’t have to do this to you Y/N/N...” Mattheo said softly to the silence around him. “But if I didn’t, he would have hurt you. And I couldn’t do that, I couldn’t let you get hurt”. The tears in his eyes slowly fell. “It hurts to have you hate me...but if it saves you from my father, I will carry this pain...”
A/N: hope you enjoyed. & part 2 will be up soon 🙂
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Bob did what?
A/N ~ Hey yall! I’m always so nervous to post because I don’t have anyone to proofread it. I also threw the last paragraph together. Lol Anyways enjoy
Like and comments welcome!
Please do not steal my work!
Bob x reader
Warnings - Fluff, Pregnancy, Injuries & Anxiety
Word count: 912
It was a regular day.
When you woke up this morning, you went straight to the kitchen to make Bob breakfast. 2 fried eggs, toast with raspberry jelly, with a cup of coffee to go. He walked in and wrapped his arm around you and kissed your cheek and then your 7-month belly. “Well don't you look gorgeous, sweetpea” he said as you broke into a blush. Even Though you have been married for 3 years he still has that effect on you. Right as you finished making his breakfast, the baby monitor went off. “I got it, honey,” Bob said, getting up.
“No honey, I got it. Eat your breakfast before it gets cold.” You waddle into Brooks’s room and turn off his fan then walk to the crib. “What's up, big man! You ready to go eat breakfast with dad!” you said picking him up. He was getting so big but so were you. Setting the 2 and a-half-year-old down you both walk/waddle hand in hand to the kitchen.
“Hey, buddy! How did you sleep last night” Bob asked, pulling Brooks into his arms.
“I had dweams about planes and puppies,” he said while rubbing his eyes, clearly not fully awake yet. You place a bowl of cheerios and fruit in front of him. You start to move back to the stove.
“That's a cool dream buddy,” he said, rubbing brook’s hair out of his face. “Hey whoa, whoa, sit down. I'll get you breakfast and your meds” he said springing up. He quickly moved around the kitchen. As you talked with Brooks about what you were going to do today, Bob put a plate full of toast and fruit in front of you along with prenatal meds. You lean up and kiss him. You were so grateful to have a wonderful husband. “Okay, I have to go now. The group wants to go out for drinks, but if you need to tap out let me know,” he said, kissing Brooks head.
You guys had a busy morning of cleaning and laundry, for a 2-year-old he was very helpful. Right as he was going down for his nap, your phone rang. You slowly get up to get it, except you don’t remember where it is but you hear it. “Hey buddy, let’s play a game called find mamma’s phone,” you said with a silly face. He giggled and took off after it as you slowly got up to chase after him. Once you get to him you see that you have 5 missed calls from Fanboy, 7 from Rooster, and 3 from maverick. Your stomach dropped, and your blood ran cold. You quickly called Rooster and as you listened to it ring you started rubbing your belly to calm down.
“Y/n thank god you called me back. I’m sending Jake to come to pick you up to bring you to the base. There was an accident during a training exercise today. Phoenix and Bob had to eject, it wasn’t a smooth landing. He broke his leg when he landed, they are setting it in surgery. I’ll keep you updated” he informed you. Once he was sure that you were okay he hung up. You start panicking and rushing around the house to get Brooks’s thing
“Brooks” you yelled “We need to go to the doctor on base to see daddy,” you said as calmly as possible. Not even 2 minutes later you hear the doorbell ring. You waddle as quickly as can be to the door. You are met with a calm Jake. You don’t know how these pilots do it.
“Hey Y/n breath for me,” he said, wrapping you in a hug. “Last thing I heard he was doing good,” he said, pulling back to look you in the eyes. You hear a loud crash and quickly turn around to be met with your son dressed up in his dinosaur costume with his doctor kit in his hand. You appreciate how caring your son was.
“I'm ready to help with daddy momma,” he said walking out to the car.
“Alrighty follow the little man” Jake laughed. You were a nervous mess the entire car ride. When you arrived on base you rushed, well more like waddled at a fast pace to his hospital room with Jake and Brooks hot on your trail. When you enter the room you are met with the sight of your husband's leg in a cast and a bashful smile.
“Hey Sweetpea” he said. You look at him and waddle over wrapping him in a hug. “Hey, hey, hey I’m okay.” He said pushing the hair out of your face. Planting a kiss on your temple. Brooks walks up to the bed and attempts to crawl up but fails. You bend over and pick him up so he can see Bob. He crawls into Bob's lap.
“Dadda, why is mommy crying?” he asked.
“Momma was just sad because Dadda got hurt”
“It’s otay momma, dad just a bobo” he said causing everyone in the room to chuckle. You give him a kiss on the head. They decide it is okay for bob to be discharged as long as one of the other pilots helps you with him. They all agree and set up a system on who is assigned to help. You were glad you had a support team and that baby Floyd wouldn’t make their entrance for another 10 weeks.
#bob x reader#bob floyd x reader#dad!bob#robert floyd x reader#robert bob floyd#top gun#top gun headcanons
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Family Vacation (Joel Miller X Reader)
Pairing: no-outbreak!joel miller x f!reader
Warnings: fluff, sweet joel, domestic joel, pregnancy, jealous reader, insecurity (let me know if i missed any)
Summary (Series): reader as Joel’s neighbor. Joel’s wife left him so Joel asked his neighbor for help in babysitting Sarah.
Summary: Pov: family vacation with your family and Joel’s.
Words count: 2.1k
A/N: This series is ending soon so be ready 🥺 This is part 17 of Where It All Starts. But it can also be read as a standalone. I'm so grateful for all of you! Thank you for your comments, reblogs, and likes ❤️ Love you!
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Part 19 Part 20 Epilogue
It was a long weekend and the two of you decided to invite your family and Tommy and Flo to have a short vacation out of town together. You and Joel rented a big house for a few days so you could spend the weekend with your family. You and your family separately and decided to meet at the house.
“Sarah’s asleep.” Joel whispered as he looked to the rear view mirror.
*car honked*
“What the fuck is his problem?!” Joel flinched at the honk.
“It’s okay baby, go back to sleep.” You reached Sarah’s hand who was laying on the back seat.
Sarah closed her eyes, hugged her teddy bear tight and went back to sleep.
“I think you’re driving too slow, baby.” You stroked Joel’s upper arm.
“I’m not goin’ any faster than this.” Joel shook his head.
He was driving slow because he didn’t want you and Sarah to be in danger. Not after the accident that broke the two of you apart.
“We’re not gonna get there on time if you keep driving like this.” You sighed.
“It doesn’t matter. I’m not risking you, Sarah and our baby’s lives.” Joel put his right hand on your protruding belly.
Since you reunited with Joel, you tried again for a baby and you were now 6 months pregnant with Joel’s baby. Joel had been very protective of you since the accident and he even got more protective when you told him you were pregnant.
“How long till we get there?” You looked at the rear view mirror then to Joel.
“3 hours tops.” Joel tapped the steering wheel.
“O-kay.” You yawned.
Since you got pregnant, you get tired easily. You spent most of your days sleeping, eating, sleeping, eating. Joel had been very supportive and protective. He did most of the chores and cooked for you. You wanted to have a baby gender reveal party to your family and Joel came up with the idea to have this family vacation and surprise them.
“Get some sleep. I know you’re tired.” Joel told you to sleep.
“I’m not.” You gave him a side eye.
But before you knew it, you were already asleep. Your head went limp falling to the right and left.
“Uh-oh.” Joel panicked as he saw your head falling down to your shoulder.
Joel drove with his left hand while his right held your head trying to straighten it up so your neck wouldn’t hurt when you woke up later. His head moved back to back looking at you and the highway.
“Hmm?” You suddenly opened your eyes. Joel chuckled.
“How long did I sleep?” You rubbed your eyes and yawned.
“Uh-2 hours?” Joel looked at his watch.
“Uh-oh.” You suddenly froze and put your hand on your belly.
“What is it?” Joel put his hand on top of yours.
“I need to pee. This is an emergency.” Your baby was kicking on your bladder and you need to pee right now.
“Okay, can you hold it? I think we’re near a rest area.” Joel got both his hands back to the steering wheel and focused on finding a rest area sign.
“Okay, hurry.” You tried your best not to pee in the car.
Joel drove a bit faster and thankfully he was right. There was a rest area near you. He parked right away and took off his seatbelt. Then he ran to you and helped you out of the car.
“Wait here and watch Sarah. I’ll be fine.” You waddled to the restroom.
You sighed as you peed. Thank goodness it wasn’t too late or you would be peeing in your car. When you waddled back to your car, Joel was leaning on the car door waiting for you. Crossing his arms and smiling at you. You smiled back at him and looked around. Every woman there was staring at him. You waddled faster as you saw a young hot woman walking towards Joel. But you were too late, she got to Joel first.
"Hi handsome, I was looking at you from there." She pointed at the place she was standing.
"Hi." Joel just chuckled.
"What are you doing here standing next to your car, showing off your muscles." Her hands were now on Joel's upper arm caressing his biceps.
"I'm waiting for my pregnant wife." Joel's eyes moved to see you behind her and dragged her hand off him.
"Wi-?" She turned her head and saw you.
You glared at her as your hand supported your back.
"Sorry." She looked at you up and down and left.
"What was that?" You were jealous.
"Don't worry about that. Come on." Joel held your hand and helped you get inside the car.
"Were you just flirting?" You glared at him.
"No, baby. She approached me." Joel chuckled.
"Why are you laughing? Is this a joke?" You raised your voice.
"Shh, baby. You're gonna wake Sarah." Joel turned his head to the back seat to check on Sarah.
"Did you get her number?" You asked him.
"No, I didn't get her number and I didn't give her anythin'." Joel faced you.
"Don't you ever let other women touch you again, promise?" You gave him your pinky.
"You're my only one, baby. I promise." He linked his pinky to yours.
Even though you and him had pinky promised, you were still anxious. You remembered how the woman looked so sexy and you were now heavily pregnant and so round. You were insecure and you were scared that he might not find you attractive anymore.
Another hour passed and you finally arrived at the destination.
"Hi!" Your mom and dad waved their hand from the porch since they arrived earlier.
“Hi mom, hi dad.” You hugged your mom and dad one by one.
“Hi there, my favorite granddaughter!” Your dad crouched and lifted Sarah.
“Grandpa!” Sarah cupped her grandpa’s cheeks.
“How are you doing, honey?” Your mom rested her hand on your lower back and walked inside the house with you.
“Tired all the time.” You chuckled.
“Sit here. I’ll get you some drinks.” Your mom sat you on the couch and got you a glass of the juice she made.
“Thanks, mom.” You sipped on the juice.
“Can we take the first-floor master bedroom? Can’t let my wife climb the stairs too much.” Joel asked with your luggage in his hand.
“Yes, of course.” Your mom nodded.
“Thank you, Joel.” You smiled at him.
While Joel moved the stuff in the bedroom, you heard a knock.
“I’ll get it.” Your mom asked you to stay seated
“Hi!” It was Tommy and Flo.
“Hi! Come in!” Your mom invited them in.
“Hey!” You turned your head to look at them and smiled.
Then Tommy moved the luggage inside and looked for Joel.
“You’re big.” Flo sat next to you and her eyes widened as she saw your belly.
“I know.” You chuckled.
“You want to touch it?” You took her hand and put it on your belly.
“That’s weird.” Flo chuckled.
“I’m growing a baby inside me, Flo.” You gave her a side eye.
“I know. I know. I’m sorry.” She giggled.
“This will be you soon.” You moved your hand in circles pointing at your very pregnant belly.
“No way!” She bumped your upper arm.
The day was spent to unpack and when you finished, it was almost dinner time.
“I think we need to prepare dinner, girls. It’s almost dinner time.” Your mom called from the kitchen.
You were laying on the bed to get some rest after unpacking. You groaned as you tried to get up.
“Uh-Joel.” You called for Joel.
“Yeah, baby?” Joel stood up from the floor. He was unpacking his luggage.
“I can’t get up.” You tried to get up but you couldn’t because of how big your belly was.
Joel chuckled as he looked at you.
“What?” You furrowed your eyebrows.
“You look like a turtle, baby.” You knew he was holding himself from bursting into laughter.
“A turtle?” You started to tear up because of what he said.
“Hey, hey, I was just jokin’ baby.” He rushed to you and sat on the edge of bed.
“I’m sorry baby. It was just a joke. You’re beautiful, baby. You’re not a turtle.” Joel stroked your head then your belly.
You sobbed as you wiped your tears from your cheeks. You were already insecure about your body and now he joked like that.
“Baby..You know I didn’t mean that.” He wiped your tears with his thumb.
You nodded and pouted.
“Come on, I’ll help you up.” Joel put his arm behind your back and helped you sit.
He waited there and rubbed your back until you stopped crying.
“Mom’s probably waiting.” You snorted and stood up.
Joel rested his hand on your back and supported you as you walked to the kitchen. Your mom and Flo were already preparing some meat, drinks, and everything while your dad, Tommy and Sarah were in the yard setting up the grill.
“Joel! We need help!” Tommy shouted from the yard so Joel left you in the kitchen.
“Sit, honey. Your back must be killing you.” Your mom rubbed your back.
“I’m okay, mom.” You smiled. Your mom always cared for you and you were grateful for that.
“Okay, I think we should move these.” Flo passed you a plate of meat and she took another one too.
The three of you then moved everything to the yard. The boys had the grill and table all set up. You took a seat and your stomach was growling. Joel heard it so he stood up right away and started grilling the meat and sausages. He put the cooked ones on a plate and passed it to you first before anyone else.
“Thank you, baby.” You sighed in relief.
You ate right away because you were hungry. Then suddenly Sarah ran to her dad close to the grill.
“Sarah!” You hurriedly put your plate on the table and stood up to stop her.
But before you ran to her, Joel turned his head and blocked her daughter from getting near the hot grill.
“Don’t get too close, babygirl.”
“I wanna see!” Sarah jumped.
“Okay, you can see but don’t touch it okay?” Joel carried her with one arm and the other one continued grilling.
“That was close.” You sighed as you rested your hand on your stomach.
“Beers? Everyone?” Tommy came with a lot of cans of beer in his arms.
“Me! Me!” Flo raised her hand.
“Me too!” Your dad grabbed one of the beers from Tommy.
“Ugh-I crave for beer.” You groaned.
“You can’t have one, mama.” Joel glared at you as he grilled.
You squinted your eyes to him and took a bite of your sausage.
You and your family spent the night eating at the yard, enjoying the night, talking, laughing, singing while Joel played the guitar, and looking at the moon. Then it was time for you to reveal your baby’s gender.
“It’s dessert time!” You brought a box of cupcakes to the yard.
“One person, one cupcake.” You opened the box and asked everyone to take one.
“Don’t eat it yet, daddy!” You stopped your dad.
“I want everyone to get a bite when I count to three, okay?”
Everyone was confused but they listened to you.
“Okay, one, two, three.” Everyone ate the cupcake.
You baked the cupcakes yourself and you filled the filling with color according to your baby’s gender. Blue for a boy, pink for a girl. Joel didn’t know yet. You asked your doctor not to tell him because you wanted to surprise him and your family.
“Hmm..This is so good.” Your dad mumbled. He always loved sweets and your cakes.
“Thanks dad.” You chuckled.
“Why does it have to be blue?” Tommy furrowed his eyebrows in confusion as he looked at the cupcake in his hand.
You just raised your eyebrows and put your hand on your stomach. You were having a boy and everyone hadn’t had any clue yet.
“Wait. A boy?” Joel finally had a clue.
You nodded excitedly.
“Oh my God! Baby!” Joel ran towards you and hugged you tight.
“Whoa!” You hugged him back.
“Oh my babygirl!” Your dad teared up then hugged you after.
“My daughter is having a boy!” Your mom wiped her tears and hugged you.
“Congratulations.” Tommy hugged you then Flo hugged you too.
“I’m gonna have a baby brother!” Sarah ran around and jumped excitedly.
“Come here baby.” You called Sarah and hugged her.
“I can’t wait to teach you how to play the guitar, my baby boy.” Joel got on his knees and kissed your belly.
You chuckled as you stroked his head. Your parents held each other and smiled adoring their daughter and their son-in-law.
To be continued…
A/N: Another pregnancy fic for you! @kelh27
Taglist:
@lovelyygirl8 @skysmiller @moonlightdivine @crocodiile @angie2274 @pulchritudinousrogers @peqchsoup @msecho19 @happinessinthebeing @nyotamalfoy @nakedmoondiaries @dzaga890 @pa1g3-t0mm0 @prettysbliss @wanniiieeee @one-sweet-gubler @x-ap0llo-x @feministfanboi @ordinarylokix @afterglowsb-tch13 @padgraysonssram8re @tomorrowseverything @hummusxx @iranispunk @mrsyixingunicorn10 @likeanimagepassingby2 @mediocrewallflow3r @pedr0swh0r3 @mxtokko @dorck26 @cascactus28 @cheyxfu @stupidthoughtsinwriting @undermoonlightwalk @bigmoodyjoody @humanbug @sarahhxx03 @krisviciousx @quixscentsposts @dgct2 @dgraysonss @heybabyshae @fluffyspaceprincess @toottmblr @avengersfan25 @xixxala @dianaffddz @onzayhe @violetwitchmcu @welcometomyworldwithoutrules
#joel miller#pedro pascal#joel miller one shot#joel miller x reader#joel miller imagine#joel miller x you#the last of us imagine#the last of us x reader#the last of us x you#pedro pascal x reader#joel miller fic#joel miller fanfiction#joel miller smut#pedro pascal fic#pedro pascal fanfiction#the last of us fanfiction#joel miller fluff#tlou fanfic#tlou fanfiction#the last of us fic#the last of us fanfic#pedro pascal character#pedro pascal fanfic#fanfiction#fiction#romance#romcom
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vodka problems – eren jaeger
Modern!Eren x Fem!Reader
Summary: Sasha and Connie throw a party, and all the exciting things happen at parties! OR in which you and Eren are exes, and it's the first party you both attend after the break-up.
w/c: 5k+
warnings: maybe ooc eren (because idk how to write him yet, yikes), angst, alcohol, dissociating, c-word (3 whole times), swearing, anxiety about the future & love, maybe some errors, and a rushed ending because i had no more ideas.
a/n: this isn’t how i thought this would go, but it’s how it turned out so, enjoy.
You were going to kill them. Nothing could sway you from doing so. Sasha Braus was about to be your first victim, and Connie Springer your second. The plan was already brewing in your mind: promise them an all-you-can-eat buffet, take the pair to a warehouse, blindfolded, get them into a position where the method of execution could be performed (you hadn’t thought that far ahead yet), and then strike. Quick and easy, and nobody would be surprised; they couldn’t even be convinced to go in the first place because you’d already said this to their faces.
“Don’t be so dramatic!” Sasha exclaimed, rolling her eyes. You glared at her from your spot on her bed and then at Connie, who sat on the floor against the wall across the room.
Connie laughed manically. “She’s gone insane!”
You shook your head, clenching your fists to stop the slight shaking of your hands. “Guys…”
At the sound of your exasperated tone, Sasha threw a lone throw pillow at Connie’s face, and the pair stopped teasing.
“Listen,” Sasha started, sauntering toward you. “We can’t just… exclude him from our group get-togethers because you broke up.”
It was the truth you had accepted a month ago, yet it was like a thousand needles in your stomach when Sasha said it aloud. You nodded, your gaze finding your hands.
“I’m sure he feels the same right now,” Sasha looked over her shoulder at Connie, who shrugged. The former rolled her eyes again and turned back to you. “Or at least, I hope he does. Asshole.”
“Hey! It’s not like he’s been sleeping around! Eren’s a good guy,” Connie’s face screwed up in an angered expression at the thought that his closest friends were talking wrong about his other friend. “Just because he’s not hung up on this doesn’t make him an asshole!” He stood up, Sasha facing him.
His last comment made your eyes weary. The one thousand needles tripled.
“We know that! But-–” Sasha tilted her head in your direction. “Let girls talk shit, okay? It was a bad situation.”
Connie cringed at the mention of the aftermath of your and Eren’s breakup. “Maybe you’re right.”
“I am right,” She crossed her arms over her chest. “Y/n is allowed to react the way she is because girls can feel emotions without being overdramatic.”
“What about killing us? You said she was being dramatic.”
“I mean, threatening to kill your friends is a little…” Sasha glanced at you. “But everything else! I know what you boys have been saying, and it’s not only hurtful to Y/n but to me! And Mikasa! Girls, in general! Just because Eren moved on so quickly doesn’t mean Y/n has to! She has every right to feel the way she does. I was like this for months when Nic and I broke up!”
“That was a different thing, and you got back together.”
“Besides the point!”
“Sasha?” You pipe up, tired of watching your friends argue over you.
The two twist their heads toward you, forgetting you were there. Sasha’s eyes softened when she saw the dejected look on your face.
“I’m just gonna go,” You wring your fingers. “I’ll see you tonight, though. Yeah?”
Connie opened his mouth to say something, but Sasha elbowed him. “Yes, we will be seeing you tonight. Glad you’re coming.”
You got up from the bed, and Sasha hugged you.
“Bye, Con.”
“Bye,” Connie replied solemnly.
As you left the room, you heard a smack. “Do you ever know when to shut the fuck up, Springer?”
You left their shared apartment—where you would return later.
—
7:29 pm
Hearing the elevator ding, you turned towards the opening doors; the smell of sweat, alcohol, and weed hit you in the face as you exited. Despite Sasha and Connie’s apartment halfway down the hallway, the music and scents spilled out their front door.
You held the bottle of Chardonnay you had brought loosely between your fingers, the effects of the other bottle of wine you had downed before coming hitting you straight on: liquid courage and all that.
You opened the door without knocking and stepped into Sasha and Connie’s apartment. Music made the floor vibrate, which was ignored due to your inebriated and gloomy state.
“Y/n!” Hands on your shoulders, and the familiar ecstatic energy of your best friend drew you out of your daze. “You’re here!”
“I’m here!” You laughed bitterly, although the previous unwanted anxiety and feelings towards tonight were already dissipating.
“Oh jeez, you’re already gone,” Sasha shook her head disapprovingly. “Tch, should’ve kept you here from this morning.”
You disagreed. “No! See, I wouldn’t have brought us a bottle if I stayed here. This is for nobody else.”
Sasha’s grin grew wider. “Thank you!”
You lifted the bottle towards her face, giggling. Sasha snatched the bottle out of your hand as soon as it was close enough and uncapped it, all in one motion.
Your jaw dropped at the sight of the now half-empty bottle in her hands. “Sash!”
She held the bottle out of your reach and grabbed your hand, pulling you into the kitchen. “I think the boys are in Connie’s room, but don’t worry, I won’t take you to them.”
You knew who the boys entailed, and you were beyond grateful.
“Annie, Ymir, and Historia are in the living room, playing some board game. I don’t know who does that at a party, but they’re having fun…” Then she looked behind you. “Oh! Marco,” Sasha pushed you backwards slightly. “Get Y/n a drink. I gotta pee.”
You stumbled back into a tall figure, spinning around to meet your friend. “Marco!”
The freckled boy rubbed the back of his neck and smiled. “Y/n! What would you like?”
You pursed your lips in thought. “Make me a mimosa? Mr. Bartender?”
Marco laughed and reached up to retrieve a glass from the cupboard unit beside you. “Of course, Miss. Any special requests?”
You eyed the Grey Goose on the counter, not thinking twice about your answer. “Hold the vodka, please.”
Marco blanched as he poured sparkling wine into a cup. “Oh, yeah, okay. No problem.”
You folded your lips between your teeth at the awkward air settling between you, and you didn’t think your response through before it slipped out. The music from the living room speakers, paired with the clink of a spoon on glass, was the only sound in the kitchen.
It was no secret what had happened between you and Eren—the entire friend group had been there to witness it, which was the worst part. A party, a few bottles of vodka, and insecurities from both sides were at play that night. It was a recipe for disaster, and it just so happened that you and Eren were the casualties, along with friendships that were becoming more strained as the weeks passed. It didn’t help that you or Eren were often missing from group gatherings when the other was present, but somehow, Sasha had managed to get you in the same apartment as him for a night. It was either a master plan that could save the group or cause it to dismantle completely, and nobody wanted that.
“Here you go,” Marco said, pushing the glass across the counter.
Tears welled in your eyes at his sudden distance. “Thanks, Marc.”
At the sound of your teary voice, his eyes shot toward you. “Hey, hey,” He reached for you, bringing you into his chest. “I’m sorry. No crying tonight, okay? Nobody hates you, I promise. You are as much a part of this group as he is. You are not allowed to leave.”
“Who said I was leaving?” You mumbled into his chest, tears dampening his t-shirt.
“People talk,” He replied, rubbing your back. “And a little Sasha told me you mentioned the group would be better without you.”
You sniffled and laughed, eyes watery. “Can you blame me? Mikasa hasn’t spoken to me in a month, and Armin only says hello when he has to. I can’t keep putting myself through that. I don’t want to lose more friends over this.”
“If I were a nice person who cared about your well-being, I would tell you to leave us ASAP. But since I’m not, I need you to stay, okay? Who else would I make mimosas for at these ‘parties’?”
You laughed and pulled away. “Nobody.”
“Exactly!” Marco exclaimed. “And just you being here tonight tells me you don’t actually want to leave.”
“Yeah, I guess.”
“No guessing about it,” Marco stepped back. “You are staying. Now,” He clapped. “Wanna join the losers in the living room for a game of Monopoly?”
You nodded, sipping your drink. Marco would never know the effect his words had on you. No matter what happened with Eren, you had a place in this group. Sure, Sasha had repeatedly told you the same thing, but hearing it from someone else, who didn’t have to say anything, was special. “I would love to.”
—
9:02 pm
After Sasha had joined the game and Historia had won Monopoly (thanks to Ymir, who kept slipping her money under the table), the rest of the boys emerged from Connie’s room, bringing the stench of weed along with them.
“Holy shit! Y/n?” Jean yelled in greeting. The grin on his face was wide, and it caused one to break across your cheeks too.
“Hi, Jeanie,” You laughed, standing up from the couch. You rounded the table to hug him, ignoring the others. You and Jean had always been close, even before you started dating Eren. Not seeing him because you chose to distance yourself proved more hurtful than beneficial.
“Haven’t seen you for ages. How are you?” His voice was soft against your ear, and you tightened your arms around him.
“Been better, but I missed you.”
“We’re here too, you know,” Connie piped up, rolling his eyes.
“I saw you this morning, idiot,” You laughed, Jean joining you as you pulled apart.
You stepped to the right of Jean and scanned the faces of everyone in Connie’s room; Armin, Mikasa, Bertie, Reiner, Eren (sparingly), Connie himself, and—who is she?
A petite brunette girl stood at Eren’s side. Her features were sharp and tinted pink when you met her eyes.
You lifted your hand in a lazy wave and turned back to the couch. Your chest tightened at seeing someone you didn’t know hanging out with your group—were they replacing you already?
Sasha noticed your fidgety hands and grabbed them as you sat next to her. You didn’t look anywhere but at the table.
The room grew tense and awkward.
And when nobody spoke, Eren threw his arms up. “I’m getting a beer. Anyone want one?”
The sound of his voice was cutting. It shredded the weeks of progress you had tried to heal and buried deep into your subconsciousness. You missed his voice.
Your eyes lifted, and when your gaze landed on him, Eren inhaled sharply. “I’ll have one.”
Everybody held their breath as you and Eren exchanged words. They never thought they’d see the day, even if it was to be mean to each other.
Eren’s lip curled. “You sure you don’t want vodka? I heard it’s good for ruining relationships, which you seem great at!”
“Okay! That’s where we end that. Real mature,” Sasha stood abruptly, her hands ripping from yours. “Eren, a word?”
“Would love one, Sasha,” Eren’’s tone was clipped as he stalked back down the hallway.
The brunette girl shifted her weight. You watched her stand awkwardly without Eren there.
You couldn’t move with everyone’s eyes on you. With your muscles frozen, you’re eyes were unblinking as the muffled voices from down the hallway got louder.
“Y/n, right?” A new voice spoke. You lifted your head and saw the new girl walking hesitantly toward you. “I’m Cate.”
Your eyes flickered to Jean, who was holding his breath. A small smile replaced your blank stare as you shook the girl’s hand. You couldn’t hate this girl. No matter what happened between you and Eren, she would never be the target of your anger.
“Nice to meet you.”
Around you, the room started moving normally again. Laughs were heard, and conversation picked back up. After her introduction, Cate scuttered to the kitchen, and you slumped back into the couch.
“Nice to meet you,” Jean teased, flopping down next to you, lifting his leg to put it over your lap.
“Shut the fuck up. What was I meant to say?” You snapped, smacking his knee.
“What you said was fine. Jean’s just being a dick,” Marco said from the other side of you.
“If anything, Eren’s being a dick,” Jean mumbled.
You said nothing. And when Jean was going to start speaking again, a pair of legs stopped in front of you.
The blonde boy looked nervous as he looked down at you. “Hey, Y/n.”
“Hi, Armin. How are you?”
He sighed and smiled. “I’m well. How are you?”
You shrugged one shoulder. “You know…”
Armin nodded and sat on the coffee table in front of you. Your knees hit his as you pouted at him.
“Armin… why haven’t I seen you in biochem?” You asked, giggling as you said your following sentence. “You didn’t drop out, did you?”
Armin gaped at your jab and shook his head. “I’m offended at the thought! I had to change classes. It clashed with my other biology class.”
You smiled understandingly. “I guess I was just hurt you didn’t tell me. I know it can be awkward.”
Armin sighed. “I’m sorry, I didn’t think you’d want to hear from me.”
“I always want to hear from you,” You furrowed your eyebrows. “You’re the only one who listens to my ramblings about everything.”
Jean and Marco went to object, saying anything about how they’d had heard it all for the past few weeks when Armin laughed. “That’s true. Got anything for me right now?”
“And that’s when we leave,” Jean stood, motioning for Marco to do the same. “Bye, guys.”
—
10:39 pm
To say a majority of the group was intoxicated would be an understatement.
Ymir and Historia left an hour ago because Historia was on the verge of passing out. Sasha and Eren had gone to different ends of the apartment a while ago after Sasha yelled at him for half an hour. He hadn’t looked in your direction since he came out of the room.
Eren now sat, with Cate, on the couch, a beer held loosely between his fingers, taking sparse swigs. His eyes were heavy, but his cold facade never wavered. Surrounding him were Bertie, Reiner, Mikasa, Armin, and Annie. They were conversing about the NBA or NFL; you couldn’t remember the topic when you left.
Conversely, you were perched on the counter in the kitchen as Marco, Jean, Connie, and Sasha competed in a ‘who could make the better drink’, with you as the judge. You were beyond tipsy, everything falling from your lips unfiltered, which was good and bad when tasting their beverages.
Your face soured as you swallowed. “Fuck, Jean! That’s disgusting!”
The tall boy cackled, holding his stomach as you tipped the rest of the drink down the sink. “I spent my time on that! You're so ungrateful!”
The rest of the group laughed at your misfortune, pushing various shaped cups and glasses in your direction for you to try.
The laughter soon died when Cate walked into the kitchen. She wore a smile on her face and waved when she noticed everyone’s eyes on her. “Hey, guys. What’re you doing?”
“Best drink competition, wanna play? Y/n’s judging,” Connie asked, his eyes hanging and words slurred.
“Uh, yes! I’ll make mine now. No peeking!” She laughed, picking up a random cup off the opposite counter. You and the others covered your eyes playfully.
“Okay, done,” Cate muttered, handing you a black cup. “Tell me what you think.”
Maybe it was the alcohol playing tricks on you, but when she handed you the cup, the typical mischief you’d encountered in everyone else’s eyes when they gave you their drinks was far less dark and cynical than hers. Cate wore a smirk as Jean did, but it seemed more calculated than his silly one. But your drunk brain was too dismissive to take it to heart. So, you took a sip of her drink.
And when the sharp tang of vodka hit your tongue, you almost vomited. Your lips parted, and your eyes watered at the taste and what it had caused you weeks ago.
“Bitch,” You whispered, yet nobody heard.
The kitchen was silent as Cate stood before you, arms folded over her chest. She leaned closer to you, her mouth next to your ear. “It’s a shame. You’re so pretty but such a cunt. I almost feel bad for the guy. He had to tolerate you for so long. Thanks for letting me have him.”
And as Cate fell back onto her heels, she sighed, like uttering those words filled her with relief.
Sasha instantly recognised the look on your face and gasped. Even in her drunken haze, she had perfect aim. Her palm came in contact with Cate’s cheek before the boys could even react, and you took no notice of what had just happened, gaze unfocused and on the floor.
“Woah!” Connie yelled, placing his glass in the sink to hold back his best friend.
“Sasha, what?” Jean exclaimed, hooking his arms around Cate’s from behind.
And Marco was silent. He stood beside you, taking the cup from your hands and sniffing the liquid. He sighed when he recognised the smell. “Fuck.” He whispered.
“You’re never allowed back into my house! Get out!” Sasha screamed. “Or you’ll finally get to see the crazy bitch you’ve been calling me for a month!”
The commotion had finally caused a reaction from the group in the living room, who were now flooding the space. The music was quiet, which made the scene more tense.
“What the fuck is going on?” Reiner yelled over the arguing, taking notice of Cate in Jean’s arms and Sasha in Connie's.
“Let go of me, Connie!” Sasha cried. She now had tears streaming down her face at the same rate as you.
You were dissociating; Sasha could see it clear as day. Your hands shook, and your eyes were unfocused as you stared at the floor, your body swaying ever so slightly.
“Please, let me go.”
Having heard the plea and sadness in Sasha’s voice, Connie released her. The girl stumbled out of his hold and rushed toward you, helping you off the counter with Marco’s assistance. She ushered you back into the living room and down the hallway to her room.
“Let go of Cate, bro,” Eren snapped, stepping forward to reach her.
Jean threw his friend a glare. “Okay, bro,” Jean laughed bitterly and let go of the brunette.
Nobody in the kitchen said a word except for Marco, who had had enough awkward silences tonight.
“Before you go, Eren, because you tend to do that a lot now, I’d take a good, hard look at who you’re keeping company,” Marco shifted his gaze to Cate, who stood rubbing her arms.
“Me? You think this is my fault? That girl is insane! No wonder you broke up, Ren,” She looked up at Eren.
The other boys, Mikasa and Annie, watched anxiously for Eren’s next move.
—
11:00 pm
Meanwhile, you were in Sasha’s room sipping on a water bottle she handed you. Despite the short time, you were already starting to sober up, both from the shock of what just happened and the granola bar Sasha had forced down your throat after she locked her bedroom door.
“God, I hate her. I tried to keep quiet tonight for Eren’s sake, but I can’t, not after that,” Sasha mumbled. “What did she say to you?”
“Uh,” You bit your bottom lip. “She called me a cunt and thanked me for giving her Eren or something. I don’t know. I zoned out.”
Sasha let out a noise of frustration. “If I could punch Eren, I would. He has some serious nerve bringing her here when he knew you were coming.”
“It’s no big deal. I mean, it’s true,” You said tonelessly. “I did some fucked up stuff to him that night.”
“Firstly, shut up! You’re not a cunt, how are you? You got the courage to come here in the first place, and I’m so proud of you. Just because one girl, who must hate women, said that about you doesn’t mean you are one. It's a reflection of her, not you. And secondly, he said shit too! You’re both in the wrong. Stop taking all the blame.”
“Thanks, Sash.”
“You know what I mean. It’s bullshit. I hate that people took sides; I really do. It makes me feel like our group wasn’t as close as I thought.”
You placed your hand in hers. “I’m sorry for fucking up our friend group.”
Sasha sighed. “You didn’t fuck it up,” her eyes were glassy when she looked at you. “I think it was already fucked up.”
Her statement made you laugh sadly.
But your laugh was cut short by the sound of the front door slamming. You shared a look with Sasha as you heard footsteps approaching the bedroom door.
“That’s probably Jean. Bet Eren left,” Sasha mumbled, squeezing your hand before straightening up from her bed.
And as she opened the door, nothing could prepare you for who was standing there with his fist raised to knock.
“Oh my god,” Sasha groaned. “Have you finally decided to talk to her? All it took was some girl to insult her for you to want to speak with her?”
Every muscle in your body was unmoving. It was like someone had poured ice water over your head. If you hadn’t sobered up from the snack and water before, you definitely had now.
“Sasha, please,” Eren whispered. Even though he towered over Sasha, Eren looked small. He was curled in on himself, shoulders hunched.
“It’s okay, Sash,” You stated, noticing how Eren’s demeanour changed at your words. He looked almost the same as when you were together, ganging up on your friends to tease them lovingly.
“Fine,” Sasha said firmly. Then she brought her finger to Eren’s chest. “But if you make her cry, I will strangle you.”
Eren just nodded, knowing it wasn’t the time to joke around. Sasha side-stepped to let him inside her room before turning around and holding the door handle.
“I will shut this door for privacy only. I don’t want to walk in here later to see you’ve killed each other,” Despite her words, Sasha smiled as she said so.
“Bye, Sash,” You wave, hyperaware of Eren standing a few feet away.
“Yeah, yeah.”
And when the door clicked shut, Eren shifted in his spot. You waited for him to speak, but it never came. You guessed his conversation with Sasha earlier in the night had put him in his place.
“Where do you wanna start?” You asked, choosing to help him sort out his thoughts instead of attacking him immediately.
Eren, seemingly grateful, fidgeted with his hands. “I want to talk about the party first.”
You nodded, looking away from him.
“I wanna start by saying we both had too much to drink that night. I should’ve never tried to find you afterwards; I was just so confused and hurt,” Only then did Eren glance in your direction. You met his eyes and shook your head. “I want to hear your side, but could I say my piece first?”
You nodded, allowing him to continue.
“Thanks,” He sighed with a crooked smile and shook his head softly to rid it. “Anyway, I, uh—that night went downhill so fast. I know they say that drunk words are sober thoughts, I know. But at that moment, I was so angry. I was angry at myself, you, and everyone else at that damn party because I—I couldn't take the questions, and the expectations, and the responsibilities. And you’re right. I am immature because I couldn’t understand why you made that choice, and I still don’t understand why you did. It just hurt me so deeply that I didn’t know how to accept it. I still don’t!"
"I stumbled around all night with that damn bottle of vodka because I knew you liked it, and when I saw you with the same bottle dancing with Sasha, I snapped. I couldn't believe you were having fun after hurting me so badly," Eren paced the floor. “But I can’t move on from you, sweetheart. I really can’t. And tonight,” He sighed deeply. “I don’t know why I brought her here. I guess I just wanted you to hurt as much as I do. But, if I knew she would act like that toward you, I never would've spoken to her in the first place. I’m sorry for that.”
Tears brimmed your lash line as you nodded. Eren remained near the door.
“I—uh, I’m sorry for everything I said too. Yes, you can be immature, but you’re not arrogant or aloof when speaking about serious stuff; you're doing it right now. And I’m sorry for doubting your love for me—in hindsight, it was a shitty thing to say considering…” You trailed off.
Eren stayed silent.
“I literally hung you out to dry in front of everyone, and you're still here trying to make amends with me!" You exclaimed, angry with yourself. "That's like one of the least immature things ever."
You sighed, rubbing your forehead. "That night scared the shit out of me, with all the talk about the future and what we’re going to do when we graduate literally next semester. Eren,” You look up at him. “I don’t have any plan. I’m going to finish my degree, and then what? I don’t want this to end. I don’t want to see my friends once a year because we’re all on different sides of the country, of the world! I want to stay here with the lunatics out there and you.”
The sudden confession made you pause. Eren inhaled sharply, meeting your eyes. You swallowed and continued. “I always wanted to stay with you.”
Neither of you spoke. As you stared at each other, you noticed small things about Eren’s appearance that hadn’t been there the last time you’d seen him: the flyaways near his face were longer, his usual clean-shaven jaw was lightly stubbled, his black t-shirt was tighter around his arms, and the green in his eyes was darker.
Eren broke the silence first. “I just want to know why you said no,” He begged.
You were waiting for this question. Sure, Eren had asked it when you’d first answered his initial question, but now, he deserved an explanation. He hadn’t been angry at your answer, more heartbroken than anything.
“You say you want to stay with me forever, yet you say no at the first real chance to do that.”
You blinked, and tears fell down your cheeks. “I know,” Your voice was strained as you wiped at your eyes. “I’m sorry.”
The bed dipped beside you, and Eren’s thigh pressed against yours. And as you hiccuped, Eren wrapped his arm around your shoulders, letting you lean into him.
“It’s my biggest regret, saying no to you. I couldn't believe you’d actually want me like that.”
“Of course, I want you like that. I want you in every way if you’d let me. But until you say the word, I’m not acting on anything you don’t want me to.”
You lifted your head from his chest and turned toward him. His arm fell from your shoulders, and you took his hands in yours.
“If you asked me again, just know I’d say yes,” You cried. “That night… that night was among the very few when I didn’t believe you were real. There is absolutely no way that someone could love me the way you do. Nobody. I believed I would never be loved like that from a very young age. And it was confusing when you came into my life and told me differently after I'd spent years drilling into my mind that I’d be alone forever.”
“I was terrified that saying yes meant I was falling for some cruel joke,” Eren’s hand hovered over your cheek before you tilted your face to rest in his hand. “But now that you’re still here, still wanting to marry me after I said all those horrible things to you, I know what you feel is true. You’re true.”
Eren laughed, eyes watery as he nodded. “That doesn't make sense. But, yeah, I’m real, and my love for you will always be real.”
"It only took a failed proposal for me to realise what I lost," You cringed, peering over at Eren.
He gave you a pained expression, hand over his chest. "Ouch, at my expense?"
You nodded, dragging your hand over your cheeks. "Unfortunately."
And just like that, the pair of you fell back in sync. Eren wrapped his arms around your shoulders, hugging you close. "I know we still have a lot to talk about, but can we just sit here for now?"
"Yeah," You whispered, circling your arms around his waist.
"I'm sorry for what I said earlier in the living room," Eren muttered.
"It's okay. I was ready to say something mean back before Sasha interrupted. So I'll apologise for the intent."
Eren snorted. "I don't think anything you say to me could stop me from loving you."
"Even when I yell at you for leaving dishes in the sink?"
"Especially then," And then you felt him lick your cheek.
"And he's back," You mumble, wiping the side of your face. "I was starting to miss the weird side of you."
"Not my fault."
"Too soon."
You pulled yourself out of his embrace and composed yourself, wiping under your eyes and shaking your arms.
“Let’s start over,” Sticking your hand out, you sighed. “Hi, I’m Y/n.”
Eren shook his head and clutched your outstretched hand. “Hi, Y/n. I’m Eren. I hope you don’t mind, but I will propose about a month into our inevitable relationship.”
You smiled at him, tears slipping past your lashes again. “And this time, I’ll say yes, Mr Jaeger.”
“Hey, I never told you my last name.”
#eren jaeger#eren jaeger x reader#eren jaeger imagine#eren yaeger x reader#eren yaeger imagine#eren jeager x reader#eren jeager imagines#eren yeager x reader#eren yeager x you#attack on titan imagine#attack on titan x reader#— ann writes!
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The man who was there the day the Beatles broke up
Mal Evans was the Fab Four’s roadie, fixer and friend. Paul McCartney confided in him when the band split, while John Lennon relied on him to guard his life. A new book tells his story
The Beatles’ lingering tensions finally caught up to them during a meeting among John, Paul and George at 3 Savile Row on September 10 1969. As Mal and Neil [Aspinall, who ran the Beatles’ company Apple Corps] observed, John took particular issue with what he perceived as Paul’s megalomania, saying that, “If you look back on the Beatles albums, good or bad or whatever you think of ’em, you’ll find that most times if anybody has got extra time it’s you! For no other reason than you worked it like that.” For Mal, the conversation must have been pure agony. He idolised Paul, who bore the brunt of the meeting’s vitriol.
In his own defence, Paul protested that he had “tried to allow space on albums for John’s songs, only to find that John hadn’t written any”.
With the idea of recording a new album seemingly off the table, John suggested that they produce a Christmas single instead. After all, he reasoned, their annual holiday fan club record would be due before long. When this idea was met with silence and indifference, John soberly concluded, “I guess that’s the end of the Beatles.”
As horrible as the experience must have been for Mal, panic hadn’t set in just yet. During the past 15 months, Ringo and George had quit the band at various times, only to be coaxed back. But ten days later it all spilled out again at a meeting at Apple. Mal and Allen Klein (their manager after the death of Brian Epstein) were there, along with Yoko, Neil and the boys. For his part, George was on speakerphone from Cheshire, where he was visiting his ailing mother. The topic at hand was a new agreement with Capitol, which Klein was understandably eager to ink.
As Mal observed, Paul began to enumerate the group’s upcoming opportunities, including a series of intimate gigs and a possible television special. In each instance, John said, “No, no, no,” before telling Paul, “Well, I think you’re daft.” Eventually, he blurted out that he wanted a “divorce”. “What do you mean?” a stunned Paul asked. “The group’s over,” John replied. “I’m leaving.”
At this point, Paul recalled, “Everyone blanched except John, who coloured a little, and said, ‘It’s rather exciting. It’s like I remember telling Cynthia I wanted a divorce.’ ”
Afterwards, Mal and Paul returned to McCartney’s home, where they retreated to the garden, still trying to process what had transpired. Paul remained hopeful that John might change his mind, that the Beatles would continue unabated. But Mal knew better. As with George, Mal had reasoned that “all of them had left the group at one time or another, starting with Ringo’’. But when “John came into the office and said, ‘The marriage is over! I want a divorce,’ that was the final thing. That’s what really got to Paul, you know, because I took Paul home and I ended up in the garden crying my eyes out.”
That night with Lennon and Phil Spector in 1973, when happiness was not a warm gun
Mal took great pleasure in spending long hours in John’s company, enjoying the Beatle’s undivided attention, as opposed to sharing him with Paul, George and Ringo. “It was fascinating,” said Mal, who by this point was living in LA and writing his own songs, “because John was talking to me like I was a songwriter, and that was incredible. For the first time, John and I really communicated, whereas, when it was the four of them, John was always the hardest to talk to. I always thought that when John stopped insulting me, we had fallen out as friends.” But, he added, referring to John’s teasing, “The more he likes you, the more he takes the mickey out of you.”
Yet, as Mal soon discovered, working with John during this period would prove to be a chore — incomparable, in fact, to their touring years together, when the Beatles were often confined to the relative safety of a hotel suite. When he was in LA, John could often be found at the Sunset Strip’s Rainbow Bar and Grill, which had emerged as his de facto headquarters [during a period of heavy drinking which Lennon ironically referred to as the Lost Weekend but actually lasted 18 months.] With musicians like John, Harry (Nilsson), Ringo, Keith Moon, Alice Cooper and Micky Dolenz adopting the Rainbow as their regular watering hole, they had taken to calling themselves the Hollywood Vampires, a nickname that evoked the night hours they spent guzzling hooch in the bar’s loft space.
On one of his most harrowing evenings in Los Angeles, Mal had accompanied John and Phil Spector to the Rainbow. At one point, John walked Phil to his car, assuring Mal that he would return shortly. “About a half hour goes by, and I start worrying and go outside looking for John — no sign,” Mal later wrote. “I’d lost track of a Beatle for a day. What had happened, I found out the following evening, was that when he’d seen Phil off, a few hippie fans of his took him in tow, and John, who had just moved into a flat, couldn’t remember the address, nor his or my phone numbers. [John] eventually turn[ed] up, but not before I’d had a few irate words from Yoko, who phoned me from New York shouting, ‘I thought you were John’s bodyguard — why don’t you guard his body?’ ”
At a loss for words, Mal admitted that “I never really thought of myself as a bodyguard to anybody, but I suppose over the years that had been part of the gig. Anyway, they were all grown up, with very strong minds of their own as to what they wanted to do, and I certainly didn’t expect them to hold themselves accountable to me.”
That December, as work on Back to Mono proceeded, John and Phil shifted their project to the Record Plant West. The change of recording studios had everything to do with John’s and Phil’s antics having gotten them evicted from their previous studio, A&M. At one point, Nilsson and Moon, in a drunken stupor, had urinated onto the recording console, leaving the electronics in an ungodly mess.
Things began innocently enough after John and Phil completed their December 11 session at the Record Plant West, where they took a pass at Chuck Berry’s You Can’t Catch Me. As Mal looked on, the two men, drunk to the gills, were horsing around the Las Vegas Room. In a nod to the early days of Beatlemania when the Beatles would climb on Mal when they heard they were at the top of the charts, John decided to hop onto Mal’s back for a piggyback ride. Unfortunately, Phil opted to get in on the act, too. Mal’s physical dexterity in late 1973 was a far cry from that of the early 1960s, and he had difficulty sustaining the weight of two men atop his aching back. As always, Mal observed, “Phil goes a little too far,” and in the ensuing ruckus, “he karate-chopped me on the nose, my spectacles went flying, and I got tears in my eyes I can tell you. I turned around with a real temper and told Phil, ‘Don’t ever lay another finger on me, man.’ ”
And that’s when Phil, “maybe to re-establish himself in his own eyes”, Mal thought, pulled out a handgun. To the roadie’s surprise, the producer “fired it off under our noses, deafening us both, the bullet ricocheting around the room and landing between my feet”.
John was understandably incensed, exclaiming to Phil, “If you’re gonna kill me, kill me, but don’t take away my hearing — it’s me living!”
Until that moment, Mal and John had believed that Spector’s handgun was a toy. At one point earlier in the evening, Phil had cocked the trigger and aimed the weapon at John’s head. As a result of the incident in the Las Vegas Room, “John’s fear of guns generally was doubled.” For his part, Mal vowed to stay clear of Phil. He would attend the recording sessions in deference to John, but that was it.
In nearly the same instant that Mal decided to banish Phil from his world forever, he and John were hustled off to [co-founder of the Record Plant] Gary Kellgren’s house for a lavish going-away party in honour of Mal, who was preparing to make his return to Sunbury. For the occasion, Phil had arranged for Mal to receive “a beautiful large cake, which must have measured four feet by three feet, so nicely decorated with a large bottle of Napoleon brandy, [and] a lot of comic figures like Superman and Batman,” Mal wrote. The sumptuous dessert was inscribed, “To Mal, my pal, love, Philip.”
As it turned out, the madcap producer’s greatest gift to Mal that night came in the form of his absence. “Phil, to show the most understanding side of his nature, did not come to the party,” said Mal. “He knew if he had, he’d be outrageous and spoil it for me. But he set it up and didn’t come — a true mark of affection from a friend.”
The party came to a sudden close, though, when John, having grown blind drunk, planted a telephone into the sticky remains of the cake.
Meet the Beatles: four days in Mal’s life with the moptops
Paul (1962)
In July 1962, Mal and his family attended the celebration of the “Wavertree Mystery”, an annual event held to commemorate the anonymous donation of a local playground back in 1895. Mal later recalled that, “Lil and I were proudly pushing Gary in his pram when she turned to me and said, ‘There’s a weird guy over there — keeps staring at us. Now he looks like a real Cavernite to me.’ On turning, I was to see Paul standing there, unshaven, with a denim jacket thrown over his shoulder and chewing on a toffee apple.” After engaging in the niceties of introducing his wife to the scruffy musician, Mal took Paul for a jaunt. “We spent the rest of the day together,” Mal wrote, “Paul and I daring each other to go on things like the parachute drop and other displays that took nerve, neither of us accepting the challenge.” At one point, they stopped in front of an automobile exhibition. Paul announced to Mal that “one of these days I’m going to own one of those cars’’, pointing to one very humble saloon-type car.
George (1962)
After shows at the Cavern, Mal would introduce his wife Lily to the rest of the band. “On one occasion,” Mal recalled, “Lil and I bought the fish and chips for the group and ourselves, as they could only muster enough money between them to pay for the teas.” Although she had her misgivings about Mal’s involvement in their lives, she enjoyed getting to know the bandmates. “After gigs,” she later recalled, “George would come back to our house for bacon and eggs. He sometimes came back before Mal to keep me company. I’d be washing baby clothes and nappies or ironing. I liked him the best.” Lily fondly remembered the time she pushed the bangs from Harrison’s face, saying, “Let’s see what it looks like with your hair back. I like that better.” But George wasn’t having it. He combed his hair forward, telling her, “That’s the way I have to wear it; it’s the Beatle cut.”
Ringo (1965)
Driving up the M1, Mal and Ringo stopped at a roadside café for lunch. “We were sitting at the counter,” Mal recalled, “and the chap next to me had obviously been trying to make up his mind whether it really was Ringo with me. Suddenly, he turned to me and said, ‘I don’t care if it is him or not.’ Ringo nearly choked with laughter as I teased the fellow, saying, ‘No, it’s not him. But it gets terribly embarrassing taking him anywhere because everybody mistakes him for Ringo!’”
John (1964)
John held no illusions about the Beatles’ behaviour, later admitting that, “We were bastards. You can’t be anything else in such a pressurised situation, and we took it out on Neil and Mal. They took a lot of shit from us because we were in such a shitty position. It was hard work and somebody had to take it. Those things are left out, about what bastards we were. F***ing big bastards, that’s what the Beatles were. You have to be a bastard to make it, and that’s a fact. And the Beatles were the biggest bastards on earth. We were the Caesars. Who’s going to knock us when there’s a million pounds to be made, all the handouts, the bribery, the police, and the hype?”
During a flight to Massachusetts for the September 12 show at the Boston Garden, Mal’s long-standing feelings of intimidation around John came to a head. Sitting at the rear of the plane, he broke down in tears, telling a reporter that “John got kind of cross with me — just said I should go f*** off. No reason, ya know. But I love the man. John is a powerful force. Sometimes he’s rough, if you know what I mean, man. But there’s no greater person that I know.” In many ways, it was as if Mal’s lack of self-confidence, a key aspect of his persona for the balance of his life, had returned with a vengeance. Later John approached Mal and embraced him.
Extracted from Living the Beatles Legend by Kenneth Womack (Mudlark £25), published on November 14.
(source)
#another article in today's times!#mal evans#kenneth womack#the beatles#john lennon#phil spector#paul mccartney#george harrison#ringo starr
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IF THIS WAS A MOVIE | ENHA HYUNG LINE X FEM ! READER
synopsis: angst angst angst angst
a/n : all based on taylor swift songs, took a break from “The way things go to” write this😭
warning: arguments, cursing, mentions of fwb in jays, kissing in jake and sunghoons, petnames like babe used in jakes, mentions of family issues in sunghoons
L.HS : FOREVER & ALWAYS
baby, back up did you forget everything?
fights between couples are normal, but in the end they manage to bounce back and grow. you and heeseung were each others first real relationship, yet you two lasted for a while making you believe it was forever and always, and you two are eachothers soulmate until this recent month.
you felt like it was the same thing everyday, he comes home, you two argue, and then end up making up normally over the phone if not then in person. and this would be to fine if heeseung grew from the mistakes you two would argue about. everytime, forgetting dates, being late, not contributing to the relationship. you’ve done everything to change yourself for him and your relationship but he isnt pulling his weight. you were tired, you figured you needed to your foot down. while waiting you couldnt help but reminisce over the good times and when you promised eachother “forever and always.”
when he got home, he dropped his bag loudly and rushed to your shared room. you managed to stop him, he took a deep breath closing his eyes and turned his head to you. “can we talk?” you asked which in returned he sighed. sitting on the couch, you sit next to him turning to see his figure leaning over not bothering to even look at you. “are you still trying in this relationship?” thats what broke him. he stood up immediately and turned to you with angry eyes, did you phrase it wrong? what were you suppose to say? “why are you questioning my love for you? we’ve been together for 3 years, i love you, you love me of course im fucking trying in this relationship y/n!” he yelled looking at you. hurtful words aside you kept eye contact with him, i mean how could you not? you say the look in his eyes, they weren’t heeseung. it was like looking into a strangers eye. “if you love me, prove it. im tired of feeling like you dont. we live together heeseung yet you feel like a stranger, we dont even talk anymore!” you said keeping eye contact which he looked away “i dont have to prove anything.” he scoffed before walking out the door “you promised forever and always.” you said as he walked away, your words made him stop as he held the door handle. you prayed in your mind he would turn around and reassure you you two will be okay but instead he walked out. through out the arguments you two have had this month this one was different. you felt something wrong in your stomach, turning on your phone to check if you had any calls or text from him, he still hasn’t called.
so there it was, a year later and you realized he left you like that. not even a breakup text or call to finalize it. as bad as it sounds you werent able to get over him, you tried talking to other guys but you couldn’t move on. i guess your heart took forever and always too seriously. contrasting from your beliefs, heeseung was sitting on his couch in his house. why didnt he just turn around? why couldnt he keep his promise? when you two broke up he moved schools not being able to face you after breaking you but finally around this month he came back, yet you never noticed him, because he couldnt face you. everytime he saw you he ran the other way, or changed all his classes, sure he ended the relationship but one thing that never ended was his feelings for you.
sitting in your lecture the professor announced that he will pair everyone in 2 for the project. walking up the pairing sheet you noticed your name near someone familiar, “Lee Heeseung” it read. freezing you reread the paper to make sure it was right “you read it right.” you heard a familiar voice, turning around you see heeseung and all the memories flood back. shit. deciding to do the project at your house (the breakup house😍) you sigh wondering what you had gotten yourself into.
when you heard the knock on your door you braced yourself as you turned the knob, seeing heeseung with your two’s favorite dinner place from when you were together. the place he stood you up on….
“you didnt have to!” you said as you helped him bring in the bags “dont worry about it, just wanted to make it up to you” you paused at his words but shrugged it off. “we can do the project in the living room” fuck. “here ill take you-“ “dont worry i remember where it is” he laughs “right…” you chuckled awkwardly
while doing the project you tried avoiding his gaze onto you but eventually you turned to look at him and smiled awkwardly before turning back to the laptop. he closes the laptop making you look at him “can we talk?” getting deja vu from his words reluctantly you agreed “im sorry for back then” he started, but not wanting to talk about it you interrupt him “no, no its fine-“ “let me finish.”
“i promised you something, forever and always but didn’t keep it very well. when i asked you out i made a commitment to forever take care of, understand, be there for, and love you. i admit i slacked really bad its no excuse but i was in a horrible mindset that you didnt need me anymore and i know i shouldve communicated but i was…ashamed” he chuckled “i promise you when walked out that door i went back and forth whether to come back in but in the end thought it was better for us to take a break, i dont know if you felt any better but i didnt. everything reminded me of you, hell i even had to move schools, you were always in my mind. i truly did mean forever and always. and absolutely im not forcing you, or trying to make you feel bad but i want you to know im sorry and i still love you.”
maybe it was forever and always.
P: JS : HOW YOU GET THE GIRL
and then you say I want you for worse or for better
commitment was a big thing jay lacked. you and jay have been seeing eachother for around 6 months as fuck buddies and even though you knew jay lacked commitment you fell for him, and he ended up catching feelings for you too. so there you were acting like his girlfriend as he acted like your boyfriend but if anyone asked, lord forbid they do. he’ll shut them down so fast. “are you and jay dating-“ “no.” “jay is this your girl-“ “no” it hurt yes, but you knew what you were getting yourself into. you knew him, you knew he wouldnt hurt you, those cheek kisses that he said were only special to you meant something right? that was until you saw jay holding hands and kissing another girl on campus. being nosy you asked around and when you finally got the answer your heart dropped.
girlfriend?
you were wrecked. was he just leading you on this entire time? and maybe it was impulsive but you wanted answers from him. knocking on his door in the rain he answered a bit shocked to see you. “were you just leading me on this entire time?” you asked. seeing him pause he looked down and chuckled “y/n we were just friends with benefits, you knew this.”. “why? why not me?” to your question he stayed silent not being able to answer. you know you shouldve been humble in the beginning but hearing it from his mouth made you break. backing down you walk away not bothering to say anything. and thats how it works thats how he lost the girl.
after you left, he stood there door open for at least 7 minutes disappointed with himself. he closed the door kicking his “friends” out and slowly walked upstairs. laying on his bed he stared at the ceiling wondering what he had done. he tried texting and calling you but you had already blocked his number. the next day at school he kept trying to look for you but failed to do so. he use to see you everyday where were you now? he caught a glimpse of you , as he was about to run to you a hand stopped him giving him $260. he put the money in his pocket rushing out a ‘thank you’ only to look up again and see you gone.
fuck him.
for the rest of the school year you avoided jay (mostly to not see his girlfriend:(after graduating you moved out of the area wanting a new start. but with this fresh start you couldnt let something go, jay. no guys were like him in the area, it was something about jay that made you happy, feel alive, feel like you. everyone else here was so bland, you just couldnt get his certain cheek kisses out of your head. so how did you end up scrolling through jays instagram looking at his post while noticing he kept his highlight and post of you which looked rather couple-y. looking at the date of the photos suprisingly it wasn’t too far ago, around half a year. turning off your phone you sigh looking at the window the rain was rather heavy, your thoughts were interrupted with a knock, well multiple.
confused you opened the door and saw a soaking wet jay. he was pale as a ghost, shaking, hair wet, clothes wet, nothing about this man was dry. “are you insane?!” you yell pulling him inside. running to the bathroom to get a towel to dry him in response he chuckled “its been a long six months.” “what?” “a long 6 months since i lost the girl” not following what he was saying he grabbed your wrist stopping you from drying his hair “its been a long six months since i lost you.”
“but your girl-“
cutting you off he spoke. “i dated her for money, that sounds horrible but she said she’ll pay me to date her for her reputation. during this time i was planning on asking you out but didn’t want you to doubt my intentions so i was trying to save up for this ring you told me you wanted but was too expensive, i couldnt fit work into my schedule either so fake dating her was the best option for me to ask you out. when you came to my door her friends were over at my house and as much as i wanted to explain to you my true intentions i knew i couldn’t get my part of the deal. now thinking about it i shouldnt even have made the deal with her but i was too afraid to tell you without something to prove it. but now i realize i never had to prove anything if my heart told me it belonged with you, i swear i was losing my mind when you asked me why not you.”
“jay i dont know…” you said shocked from his confession.
he held both of your hands and looked at you with a smile “you dont have to know anything but please remember that i want you for worse or for better, ill fix any part of your heart i broke, i would wait forever just to be with you.
i dont want you to go.”
laughing at his corniness you look at him “remind me how it use to be”
he laughed and kissed your cheek the same way he used to that brought warmth to you.
“say you want me”
“i want you.”
he said as he slid on the ring.
and thats it works, thats how you get the girl.
S:JY : BETTY
the worst thing that I ever did was what I did to you
you trusted jake. despite the rumors of his reputation you saw good in him. you didnt believe the rumors, you knew him, you knew he hated crowds, how he preferred to kiss in his car shining in the moonlight, dancing in the streetlight.
so when inez texted and told you she saw jake cheating on you with augustine and that you were just a bet to him. at first you didn’t believe inez was weren’t close to her and due to the fact jake knew you were envious of augustine. she was gorgeous, no flaws. you never wanted to doubt jake but you knew you needed reassurance. you texted jake if he can come over which he excitedly agreed. when he arrived to your house you opened the door and lead him to the garden outside, which was you and his spot. not knowing how to start you stayed quiet which scared him “babe…you okay?” he said breaking that silence
“were you cheating on me with augustine this summer?” i asked quietly not being able to look at him. he opened his mouth not being able to say anything. “y/n…” “i was just a bet?” you said tears welling up “i thought you were different then what everyone said. i thought you loved me,” you said letting the tears fall everything must have made sense now, he never brought you around his friends let alone shown affection around his friends. jake sat there not knowing what to say, he tried recalling what happened with augustine and how to tell you, how does he tell you that he feels nothing for her but was thinking about you all summer. but his mind was bashing all of those irrelevant memories with augustine just thinking about how maybe everyone was right. maybe he was just a heartless guy who couldn’t love anyone. “go fuck yourself jake.” you said breaking the sobs and silence. his heart broke at your words but he knew it he wouldn’t be able to explain himself anyway.
when the first day of school hit, jake didnt even realize he was walking to the route he use to take when he would walk with you making him pass your house. he didn’t realize what he was doing until his breathing felt heavy, his stomach was churning and his heart was pounding. his realization hits when he didnt see you walk out.
you werent his to walk anymore.
when he arrived at school he stayed in the hallways for as long as possible to try to see you but you were no where to be seen. no way, your homeroom was in this hallway…
did you change it?
as you sat in your new homeroom, inez was talking to you about your party you were hosting. tuning her out you couldnt help but think of jake. you remembered telling him how excited you were of hosting and how he was the first one invited. would he come?
like your thinking jake tuned out his homeroom teacher debating whether to go to your party, would you even want him
there? would you curse him out or let him finally explain?
the night of the party people came in making small talk with you before enjoying the party. dispite the people in the party including his friends, you couldn’t help but look for a certain person. despite your mind telling you no. just as you were about to turn around and give up, you heard a knock. there he was. holding a bouquet of your favorite flowers with sweat dripping from his face “please let me explain…” you nodded and lead him to the garden hiding from the party.
“i never wanted to hurt you. you were the first person who showed me that love isnt just a game. i promise you, i never cheated on you with augustine. i was walking to the store to get snacks for you and thats when she stopped me. asking me to accompany her to the store since she didn’t want to be alone. i thought since we were both going to the store might as well. and im guessing thats what inez saw, and i know i dismissed your insecurities about augustine but i wasn’t thinking, i was thinking of you. i only have been thinking ever since we gotten together. im dumb for you y/n. i cant even do my homework without thinking of you. i wrote your name in my homework answers. i dont know anything about myself, life or anything. but i know i miss you. the worst thing ive ever done in my life was hurt you, i dont want to do anyone or anything but i do want to make it up to you. i may not be deserving of love but i just wanted to clear this up so you dont think you aren’t deserving of love.”
“but if i can ask, why did you believe the rumors?”
“i thought you were ashamed of me” you chuckled embarrassed
“ashamed?” he held your hand and brought you to his friends “i shouldve done this sooner, but i want to introduce you guys to my beautiful girlfriend” he said kissing your cheek
sitting there absorbing his words you can’t help but smile, maybe you werent betty.
P:SH : MINE
braced myself for the goodbye
you met sunghoon while ice skating, you two were set as partners for future competitions although it took a bit for him to step out of his shell, one secret he’ll never tell you is that he opened up more quickly to you then any other person he had met before. not to mention how well you two worked together. you two were a open book besides one thing. even though you had met his parents he has never met your parents before let alone seen them. you briefly told him there was just family issues which he got the hint that you didnt feel like talking about it.
about 2 years into you and sunghoons ice skating career together he asked you out. hesitantly you agreed. one day late night at practice he decided to bite the bullet and ask you why he had never seen your parents. sitting on the ice you sit next to him as he looked up at you “my dad cheated on my mom a while ago but theyre still together, but they still fight almost everyday” you open up. he put his arm around your shoulder “we’ll never make your parents mistakes” he said kissing your temple.
throughout you and sunghoons relationship you started to believe in love. that imagine you painted by your parents of love growing up faded to you and sunghoon. so here you two were at his house way past your curfew. “heres your charger and clothes” he said pulling out your stuff from his drawer dedicated for you. “hoon, i dont know about this” he looked up at you with comfort “i promise we’ll be fine, live a bit hm?” he said teasingly. he sure knows how to make a rebel of a careless mans careful daughter.
he took you the han river, sitting down watching the light of the buildings reflect on the river water. my eyes grew wide in awe. he put his arm around me and smiled looking at me. “thank you for taking me here hoon.”
everything was fine, why did she have to come along? is what you were thinking as you watched sunghoon skate with a new trainee. your mom had enough of your dad, and decided to leave taking you with her. but the whole reason your skating was funded was because of your dad leading sunghoon to have to change partners. see this would be fine if you didnt forget once a skater gets a partner their life revolves around that partner. sunghoon started texting you less, hanging out with you less, making you doubt. were we just like my parents?
you had enough after a week of sunghoon not texting you. it was 2:30 am, you tossed and turned not beingg able to sleep you knew sunghoon was at practice. although he stopped sharing his location with you he wouldnt cheat on skating. making your way to the rink, you walked in to sunghoons new partner get awfully close to his face off ice. he looked up and saw you before anything happened. he knew what this looked like and he knew damn well you did too. your eyes glossed and you just ran for it out the rink. maybe late night thoughts werent worth living.
sunghoon never took off his skates and put on his shoes quickly as he pushed his partner off him. he knew his skating partner was serious but his long term partner was more important. he knew he couldn’t lose you not like this. he made you believe in love he wasnt gonna let his mistake ruin your happiness. you are the best thing thats ever been his and he wasnt going to let it go.
he managed to catch up to you and grabbed your wrist. he turned you around and saw your tear stained cheeks, he swear his heart stopped. the told himself that he was never going to let you see love the same way you saw your parents. “just do it.” you said choking on your sob. his eyes widden and he held you shaking his head “never will i leave you. not alone.”
“i remember how i felt sitting by the water. i saw you start to believe in love. you are the first person i felt a true connection with wnd everytime i look at you its like the first time. i fell in love with a careless mans careful daughter.
you are the best thing thats ever been mine.”
#heivexi#enha fluff#enha heeseung#enha imagines#enha smau#enha x reader#enhypen#enhypen angst#enhypen imagines#enhypen reactions#enhypen smau#enhypen heeseung#enha#enhypen smut#enhypen jay#jay x reader#jake sim#jake x reader#sunghoon x reader#sunghoon#enhypen x reader#Spotify
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This Love
PAINNN </3
Summary: You and Matías were perfect for each other, until one day, he called it quits. He starts dating Malena Sanchez, and you're left all alone, mourning over the loss of your first love.
BTW the story is named after the song from Pantera, if you like that band, ily =)
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As you entered your apartment, your eyelids felt heavy. This was due to crying. Why? During the day, your ex-boyfriend Matías had asked if you'd like to stay over at his house so he can give you one of his acting lessons. You had suddenly gained an interest in acting recently, and Matías was eager to teach you. He was a good actor, too, and had time to teach you today. Before you can say yes with a smile on your face, the familiar sight of a thin, pale woman had captured your eyes.
Malena Sanchez.
Matías' new girlfriend.
You and Matías had broken up a year ago. However, your heart belonged to him only, and you just couldn't move on. Although it felt like he ripped your heart into pieces and left your side the moment he got someone new, he had constantly plagued your thoughts and dreams. The only man you had your eyes on. Matías was your first everything; from your first love to your first kiss. So when the two of you finally broke up, you felt like a piece of you was lost. You couldn't imagine being with anyone else. This went as far as you rejecting others and not allowing yourself to be in a relationship.
For four months now, he had been dating his friend Malena Sanchez, and they were madly in love. One couldn't be seen without the other. You saw the way Matías looked at Malena, and your already broken heart started to decay. There were no tears left to cry at this point. But you wished them the best and tried to be happy for them while you were left in the dark. Your eyes were puffy, and your face was red.
When Malena had shown up, you had kindly declined Matías' favor and decided to go home instead. Thoughts had raced in your mind during the way home. You had no car and walked the long way home. Your vision became blurry, and you were already hyperventilating. It was also raining, which made your heart break even worse. Your tears blended with the rain. You didn't really pay attention to where you were going, but fortunately, you made it home. Keys fumbling, and the door was open, your eyes scanned across the room to search for your comfort items. A teddy bear Matías had given you for your birthday. It had a zipper located at its back, which contained the jewelry he had given you. There were rings and necklaces. One even had his initials engraved onto it. There was also a letter. You just couldn't bring yourself to throw them away after the breakup.
So you decided to do the most dangerous thing and read the letter Matías had given to you, which had his love confession in it. You took out the letter from the envelope and unfolded it. It was definitely going to make you feel worse, but you proceeded anyway.
Dear Y/N,
You have caught my eye. Whenever I'm around you, my heart races, and my pale face turns red. I just gawk at you. You're just the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. Although you may not feel the same, I can't hide my feelings anymore. Please, let take your hand, and we shall jump together in the sea of love.
Sincerely, Matías Recalt
You sighed as the memories of you and Matías together danced in your mind. From picnic dates to trips at the beach, your eyes connected to the ceiling for what felt like hours. Then you feel asleep. At least in your dreams, the both of you were still together.
You were the makeup stylist for Matías on the set of Apache. Since the day you both were introduced to each other, you were inseparable. Texting and calling each other for hours, meeting up after filming was done. This went on for months until finally, Matías had sent you the letter confessing his feelings for you. You felt the same way for him and started dating. Unfortunately, Matías broke up with you a year later due to losing interest in you. He left you there to cry after breaking your heart. Before your breakup, you had also noticed some signs: Matías being visibly uncomfortable whenever you showed affection toward him in a romantic way, like kissing. His responses while texting became shorter, and he'd also take a long time to respond to you. He even stopped saying I love you. Once Malena entered the picture and became a friend of Matías, it was only a matter of time before he broke up with you. He seemed interested in her, but you brushed it off, thinking your mind was playing tricks on you.
Matías had never said he broke up with you to be with Malena, but you knew well that was also another reason why you both broke up because the moment he left, he began to date her. You begun to compare yourself to Malena. She had the perfect body. The perfect face. The perfect personality. You even begun to copy her fashion, hairstyle, and makeup for him to notice you. No wonder why Matías fell in love with her. You were nothing compared to her. But you could never hate her. She was always nice to you despite you being his ex. She'd always invite you to parties or shopping, but you'd always decline. You tried your best to be her friend, but the memories of Matías just kept coming back. All those things he was doing with you, he was now doing with her. That thought absolutely destroyed you.
It bothered you how Matías acted like you didn't mean anything to him before and that you were once the person he considered marrying. The both of you are still friends, of course, but you knew that everything wouldn't be the same after the breakup. For example, he doesn't even text or talk to you first anymore. He doesn't invite you to things that aren't even considered intimate, such as taking a walk in the park or just having a simple conversation.
Everyone else seems bothered by your constant rambling about Matías. You complained about how much you missed him, how you still have feelings for him, and even more nonsense. Years have passed, and you are now the makeup stylist for the LSDLN cast. Everyone in the cast continuously rolled their eyes and excused themselves from the conversation whenever you brought up Matías and Malena. All except for Enzo. He was the only one who listened to you. Whenever you were feeling down, he was there for you, comforting you and allowing you to cry on his shoulder. His chocolate eyes were filled with anger toward Matías, about how he dropped you the moment he got someone new. Although he didn't hold a grudge toward the couple, his blood still boiled.
You just wanted to scream at those who were bothered by you. If they can be in your shoes for one day to understand how you feel. They didn't hate you, of course, but you wished they were more emotionally available like Enzo. You wished they would listen.
A recent moment besides yesterday when you saw Malena visiting Matías on the set. She gave him lunch, and then they went off to somewhere private. Probably went there to make out or something. You sighed and also went somewhere private and took the letter out of your pocket. You read it over and over again. Since nobody was near, you said out loud,
"I guess he never meant what he wrote in that letter."
Your back slid down the wall as you sat down.
It's not easy having your heart broken.
You'll never forget how Matías left you. How could he go and leave you behind? All alone, to cry on your own. You should've known he was going to bail on you.
You closed your eyes, wishing this feeling would go away but deep down, you knew it wouldn't.
--
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aita for making a thread on twt against an ex online teammate?
cw: suicide baiting, mentions of grooming, possible sexting, transphobia, mentions of NSFW but no outright specifics
i (15 f) had this friend, who well call aj (fake name) (18-19 ftm i believe) back in october of last year. for context we met in a quick match when i was 14 and he was 17-18 in a video game where i also met another friend, moto (fake alias) (14 f at the time, now 15). after a few matches where we would be randomly matched together he sent me the invite to his discord server and i joined. eventually as more people joined the server (at most there were 20 or more people in the server before its deletion, most of which were minors and we were around her 'adult' friends who were anywhere from 18-30)
we would talk alot (and aj would insert herself into any conversation possible) but we would eventually have our disagreements which would end with aj threatening to kill himself, eventually this became the norm and we stopped giving a shit when he would threaten to kill himself because of how frequently he threatened it (kind of like a cry wolf situation)
around the time we stopped caring about his suicide baiting he switched tatics and tried to guilt trip us into apologizing to him for questioning her behavior (e.x. using the fact that he was neurodivergent, to elaborate someone would say "hey stop saying your going to kill yourself" and he would go "its something called a brain problem" or "i dont have pills to help me", basically blamed all of his actions on his alleged 'brain problem'). we still proceeded to not care because of how frequently he lied
on top of this, he had this streak of calling asian characters within the game feminine? a specific case (and the straw that broke the camels back for alot of my teammates) was when she called a well-loved chinese character from the game something along the lines of a femboy because they wore a traditional chinese outfit that was not "manly" (basically, didnt stop where a normal shirt stopped. im not sure what it was called and google didnt really help...) during the same time, aj identified as transgender (i believe he still does, but i no longer interact with him) and said trans women werent women because they dont get periods???
on top of this, he would also publicly do nsfw things with the adults of the server (none of the chats were role restricted. this wasnt a thing until i became a server admin and then shut it down not even 3 weeks later) and would also share nsfw/18+ topics in the server. even after the "nsfw" chat was there (we were still figuring out how to restrict it [i was coming back from a 2 year internet hiatus]) the other adults still did things along the lines of erp. aj encouraged this behavior and eventually in his new server and was talking about these things with minors (aj is about 19-20)
so after a few months of off-and-on gathering evidence (what you have just read + plus screenshots) from numerous people from his server i post the thread, and almost instantly it got posted to his server. i have a friend in that server who ended up voice chatting with him and moto (who is under a different alias in the server) and aj is literally sobbing, threatening to kill himself, and has his entire family in his room who are all looking at the thread as well. they all basically say that he doesnt look too good in the screenshots and "what were you thinking talking to these people" type of situation. aj ends up deleting the server a few days later, messages undercover-moto that he isnt making anymore servers.
im wondering if i went too far? aita?
What are these acronyms?
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Somebody To Love - Part 6
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 AO3
Here we have it everyone! I hope you enjoy. This part includes Eddie's addict brain trying to trip him up, so if that might be a trigger for you, keep yourself safe.
Eddie was six months clean by the time Wayne flew back to Indiana. He would have flown back sooner, around the four month mark but temptation had reared its ugly head and Eddie broke the lock on his bathroom door, intentionally trapping himself inside and away when he’d found one stray pill under the rug in his studio space.
He was alone.
No one was home.
No one would be home for hours.
Wayne was halfway across the city, Steve was at his own home, Chrissy was at a modelling gig, the boys were with their families.
It was a terrible, opportunistic coincidence.
The pill was tiny and white, covered in floor dirt and bits of hair, but it would go down easy enough. He’d be able to dry swallow it in less than a second. It was small enough. He could just take it and he’d probably pass for sober by the time they came back.
He had it in his hand.
No one would know.
No one would ever know.
His hand was completely frozen, almost on another plane of existence. He couldn’t move. A part of him was banging against the cage doors telling him to just take it. He’d taken worse things before, this would be nothing. He was strong enough now to not spiral again. This was just one, not nearly the worst thing he’d ever done.
He’d promised to be good and he had been good. So why couldn’t he have this one thing?
Another part of him was firmly trying to keep the cage locked.
Think of Wayne.
Think of the boys.
Think of Chrissy.
Think of Steve.
Why should they get to judge him for making decisions about his own body, the beast cried out. He was his own person, this was his own life, who the fuck were they to try and make him do these things, take it!
They didn’t make him do anything. He made that decision on his own. They were supporting him through his own decision. Not forcing him to do anything. They were supporting him. He said he’d change. He promised.
Don’t make promises you can’t keep, Eds.
The beast repeated Steve’s words back to him, twisting and poisoning them. Steve didn’t think he could do this anyway so why was he bothering?
No.
No!
No!
Eddie bit his tongue hard enough to draw blood and the pain shocked him into action.
He threw the pill across the room.
He didn’t know where it landed, he didn’t want to know.
He’d run up the stairs as fast as he could, putting as much physical distance in between himself and that fucking pill as it was possible to do.
And he’d called Wayne, who’d called Steve.
It was maybe an hour later when the bathroom door was finally broken down and Wayne crawled into the empty tub with him and just held him while he wept quietly into his chest.
Steve appeared in the doorway some time later, letting him know it was gone and that Eddie would be spending a few nights with him and Robin while professionals came in to clear the house top to bottom, just in case.
Because there was a service for that apparently.
This was LA after all.
Of course there was a service dedicated to quietly, covertly and methodically going through luxury houses to remove every last trace of temptation.
Of course there was.
It was another thing entirely to fully realise just where he’d be staying.
Staying with Steve wasn’t an issue, they practically lived together whenever they went on tour anyway. They knew all of each other's habits, their quirks, their weird rituals. And he’d been to Steve’s house plenty of times so it wasn’t that either.
It was having to live in the space of one Robin Buckley.
Steve’s Chrissy.
He hadn’t met her very often, they just never tended to cross paths but whenever they did, Eddie got the distinct impression that she really, really didn’t like him.
Though if he was in Robin’s position, watching everything he’d ever put Steve through… He probably wouldn’t like himself much either.
Steve had been running interference on them for two whole days, trying to stop Robin’s glares and snappy comments and trying to stop Eddie from retaliating too dramatically. Because if it’s one thing Eddie was terrible at, one major, major character flaw he had, it was holding his tongue around someone who did not like him.
But Steve had to leave them alone eventually.
He was half way out the front door, begging the two of them not to murder each other while he was gone.
Robin crossed her arms and shot daggers in Eddie’s direction. “Non prometto niente.”
“Ti imploro.” Steve checked his watch again before raising his eyes back to Robin.
Eddie rolled his eyes. “Now you two are just being rude.”
“Cazzo.” She spat at him.
“Robin!” Steve rubbed at his temples before pointing at her. “Play. Nice.” Without another word he slammed the door behind him, the sound echoing around them as they stood on opposite sides of the open plan house, like it was high noon in one of Wayne’s old westerns.
“Okay. Let's get it all out, Buckley now that the parent is gone." Eddie spread his arms out in front of him. "What precisely is your fucking issue with me?”
“My fucking issue is that I don’t like you,” Robin snapped, “that’s my fucking issue.”
"I'm gonna need you to be more specific than that,” Eddie snapped right back, “plenty of people don't like me."
"Shocking." She widened her eyes in mock surprise.
He gave her the middle finger. "Is it just the Steve thing or are there other reasons?"
She scoffed. "There's no 'just' with what you did to him."
"You can't be stupid enough to think that I meant it like that."
"Jesus you're a real charmer aren't you?"
“I get it, I was a shitty person, to Steve especially, but-”
“No!” She shouted, cutting her hand through the air. “You don’t fucking get it. You really don’t fucking get it, Munson, because you weren’t there. You have no idea what all kinds of hell you put that man through for years, but I do. I was there for it all.”
“Of course I have no idea!” He threw his hands up. “How could I possibly have known?!”
“How could you possibly not have known?! Everyone knew how he felt and all you ever did was rub it in his face-”
“I didn’t rub anything! I wouldn’t have if I’d known but I didn’t! How the hell was I supposed to know?!”
“Are you blind?!” They had taken a few steps closer but the couch was still between them. Eddie guessed it was the only thing stopping her from tearing into him with her teeth. “You need something like that spelled out to you?!”
“Oh, I’m sorry, is that not a reasonable request? To be told what someone’s feeling with grown-up words and not have to navigate a minefield of guessing what’s going on in their head?” His legs bumping against the couch was the only indicator to him that he’d moved closer. “How was I supposed to know I needed to look deeper? Am I supposed to go around examining everyone’s motivations for a deeper meaning now? Try to see into their heads rather than trust the things they tell me? That makes no sense! I’m not fucking psychic, why am I expected to be? You know as well as I do that he hid this from me. He never told me!”
“Don’t you put this on him. Don’t you dare-!” She was leaning over the back of the couch now to jab him in the chest.
“I’m not!” He had his hands gripping in his hair by the scalp and he could feel the lump in his throat but he refused to cry in front of her. “But tell me I’m wrong, Buckley. Go on! Tell me I’m not making sense right now!”
Robin huffed. “You’re wrong and you’re not making sense right now.” There wasn’t much conviction behind it. She pulled her finger back from his chest and crossed her arms with a scowl. “Maybe if you weren’t so fucked up on everything all the time-”
“Oh, spare me. Don’t start on the puritan talk just because you know I’m right-”
“I am not-!”
“Okay, fine!”
He ripped his hands out of his hair and felt like everything inside him was crumbling before he could stop it. He’d done everything he could, he’d kicked the drugs, he kicked the drink, he hadn’t had any sex since the ‘Sucker’ video, he was letting Steve decide how fast they moved, even when they moved and where to… what else was he supposed to do? He was at the end of his fucking rope.
“Let’s examine that then, shall we? Do you think that if I knew that I had someone in my corner in that way, that I had someone I could come home to or- or be there with me in my lowest moments, that could help take the pressure off, that I felt safe with… do you think I wouldn’t have delighted in having a steady fucking thing for the hardest years of my life? People don’t do the amount of shit that I’ve done because they’re fucking happy, Robin!”
He turned his back on her to collapse down on the couch with his head in his hands, trying to force his tears to retreat. His whole body felt weak, like he’d been wrung out and he really hoped she didn’t take the opportunity to crack him over the back of the head with something.
The only thing that could be heard in the ringing silence of the house was his own heavy breathing as he tried to keep his emotions under control.
A weight settled down next to him and he thanked his lucky stars he was able to stop from flinching. He didn’t want to look up, the tears clinging to his waterline that he hadn’t managed to fight back would be undeniable, but as the quiet continued to extend around them he couldn’t ignore it.
Robin wasn’t looking at him, thank god. She was curled up as far away from him as she could get with her back to the couch arm, her knees pulled up against her and she was scowling in the direction of the tv.
It must have been nearly a full minute later when she spoke. In that time Eddie had to pull the bottom of his t-shirt up to wipe at his eyes and sniffle everything back and he was fully prepared to execute a frosty retreat to the guest room he’d been using.
“Fine.” Robin bit out. When Eddie looked over, she cut her eyes in his direction but quickly averted them again.
“Fine, what?” He cringed at the thickness in his own voice. He didn’t even have the energy to bite back, he just sounded petulant.
“Fine, you’re a miserable fuck.”
He scoffed. “Great. Thanks for your input.”
“You didn’t let me finish.”
“You didn’t want to finish, you left a dramatic pause in there on purpose.”
Her frown only got deeper. “Fine, you’re a miserable fuck but you’re not wrong.” She raised her hand to her mouth and started to pick at some dry skin on her lip. “It’s not on you to read minds.”
Eddie nodded.
The tv wasn’t even on but she was still staring at it like it was. After another few moments of silence he turned, mirroring her position. “I am trying, Robin. Ever since it properly hit me I’ve been trying.”
“I know.” She sighed heavily, exasperated and slumped lower into the couch. “So he’s been telling me. And to be honest, I can see it.” She glanced back at him again. “Last time I saw you before this you looked like some strung out, coked up skeleton. Now you look,” she waved her hand around in his direction, “like you’ve got actual blood in your veins and not just Xanax and vodka. I just wish Steve didn’t need to get stepped on for you to get there.”
“I wasn’t stepping on him on purpose. If I’d have known… all of this would have happened a lot sooner.”
“Yeah.” She heaved herself up from the couch and grabbed the remote. “Put on a movie. I’d like to keep this little stalemate of ours going at least until Steve gets back. Might help him relax a little bit. Maybe not get a coronary. But pick well,” she threw herself back down and stared him dead in the eye, “don’t make me hate you again.”
Eddie didn’t end up picking a movie, he ended up picking a tv show but either way it ended up being a winner because Sense8 was always a winner. At least that was until it actually started because…
“This show is so fucking horny, man.”
Eddie just shrugged. “It’s a good show.”
“And what are you gonna do if Steve walks in while you’re watching two men fucking on tv?”
Eddie's heart stopped and his face flooded. It wasn’t that he thought Steve would judge him or it would set their progress back or whatever. It was that Steve would be standing there while very, very, super-duper, gay, gay, gay shit was happening in front of his eyes.
Robin snickered next to him just as the key sounded in the lock and a shout of “No one better be dead!” preceded Steve’s entrance.
The phone nearly flew out of Eddie’s hand as he made a frantic scramble to skipskipskip.
Steve stopped dead at the sight of the two of them sitting on the couch, not touching but also not hissing at each other like feral cats. Eddie with what was probably a red face and his phone clutched tight in his hand while Robin tried her best to hide her smile.
“What’s going on here?” Steve asked, wary eyes bouncing between them.
“Nothing!” They both answered at the same time with vastly different inflections. Robin sounded light and jovial while Eddie squeaked, trying to conceal his panic.
“Right…” Steve gave them both a final look before he turned towards the kitchen. “Whatever happened here, I don’t want to know. I’m just glad the two of you haven’t ripped each other's hair out.”
Once he had completely disappeared around the corner Eddie turned his glaring eyes to Robin who had the biggest shit-eating grin on her face.
“You were no help.”
“Yeah? Get used to it.”
That fucking song wouldn’t leave his head and he didn’t know why.
Well that was a fucking lie.
Eddie knew exactly why this fucking song wouldn’t leave him alone.
Freddie fucking Mercury was haunting him from beyond the grave.
He could almost hear him, see him out of the corner of his eye. Sitting cross legged, an arm across the back of the couch as Eddie strummed on his guitar. That grin on his face. Drawling out “You’ll get it soon, darling.”
It wasn’t even like it was a hard song to cover.
On guitar anyway.
Vocally was a whole different story. If anyone even thought of singing Freddie Mercury's pieces, figures would materialise out of the woodwork advising it was a bad idea. People just didn’t cover Queen. It was too difficult to do.
Freddie had a vocal range almost unmatched. He could switch keys effortlessly and often. He was iconic. Still is iconic. And almost everyone who had tried wasn't able to match up to the legend.
God, why was he doing this to himself?
A weight dipped the couch cushion next to him and Eddie nearly jumped out of his skin, almost firing his guitar across the room, convinced for half a second that Freddie Fucking Mercury had actually manifested next to him.
But the arm that was now across the back of the couch wasn't Freddie's.
"Jesus, Steve." Eddie clutched at his chest. "Warn a guy."
"You seemed very far away." Steve leaned his head against his hand with a small smile on his face. He was so pretty.
"Not that far.” Eddie shrugged. “Just a dimension or two."
“Seems pretty far.”
“Freddie’s just haunting me is all.” He said as he got up to place his guitar back in her stand along the wall with her sisters, throwing himself back down on the couch with an oof.
“Oh, tell him hi from me then.” Steve reached down, grasping Eddie under the knees and pulling his legs into his lap, causing Eddie to slip down the arm of the couch as his body was pulled forward, leaving only his head propped up at what must have been an incredibly unflattering angle.
“You could’ve just asked.” Eddie wrenched himself up to a sitting position, planting his arms behind him and refusing to think about the fact that if he wiggled his way forward just a little more he’d be pressed right up against Steve, fully in his lap.
As it was, the backs of Eddie’s thighs were pressed against Steve’s and that was enough to kick his heart up a few notches.
Steve looked down at his legs, plucking at an old cigarette burn in the knee of Eddie’s sweatpants. They were good pants despite the hole. Soft and comfy and he did really mean to stitch it up but he kept getting distracted and then suddenly it was five years later and that same burn kept looking at him.
“You’re doing really well, you know.” Steve said in a quiet voice, staring at Eddie’s knees like they contained the answers to the universe.
Eddie tipped his head back until it hung between his shoulders and he groaned at the ceiling. “The guitar part is easy. It’s the vocals that are-”
“No,” Steve squeezed his knee, “no I don’t mean that, I mean your… your self improvement. Your getting healthy. Your-”
“Oh my god.” Eddie snapped his head back up, staring at Steve with wide hopeful eyes while his breathing got shallower. Steve had a light blush across his cheeks and was continuing to keep eye contact with the knees in front of him. “Is it happening, like is it really happening? Are you giving me a chance, are you-”
“Eddie.” Steve admonished, trying to pull his mouth into a scowl but his face was getting redder and the corner of his lips were lifting up of their own volition. “How are you such a pain in the ass? I had a whole speech planned about all the hard work you’ve put in and how dedicated you’ve been and how rough it’s all been for you but you’ve still persevered-”
“Right, sorry!” Eddie wanted to wave his hands in front of him but they were the only thing keeping him upright so he just nodded like a lunatic. “Sorry! Go ahead.”
Steve rolled his eyes and scoffed but was smiling now. “I can’t just go ahead. Especially now. I was gonna come down here and act all calm and cool and suave and deliver this great speech about how much it’s meant that you did all of this for me. For me?” Steve huffed and pinched his nose, his voice coming out a little shakier than before. “People don’t do things like this for me. And you stuck it out. You’ve kept going even during the hard days and there’ve been some really hard days. I know. I’ve seen them but you kept going and I’m so proud of you. Eddie, I’m so fucking proud. So yeah. I had a whole plan.”
Steve finally looked at him, his eyes were shining and his cheeks were still red but he was managing to pull himself back into his vaguely bitchy and disapproving façade that they both knew was fake but if Steve needed it to give him some strength Eddie would give it to him.
Eddie would give him everything.
“I had to call Robin twice to hype me up and it still took me a half an hour to get down the stairs. Then I do come down the stairs and you’re sitting there, looking like that." Eddie glanced down at himself.
Like what? He was in ratty tatty sweatpants and an old dark henley that might have originally belonged to Steve but he honestly couldn’t remember. He was in fuzzy socks and his hair looked like a bird's nest because he just wanted it washed and couldn’t be bothered to go though the whole curly girl thing Chrissy and Robin were trying to push him into.
He just looked like Eddie.
“And you’re playing that song, trying to sing that song, my song and I couldn’t-” Steve clenched his eyes closed again, reaching his hand out blindly and Eddie shot forward, snatching Steve’s hand up in his own, leaning towards Steve so his centre of gravity was no longer behind him and holding Steve’s hand tight to his chest.
Steve would be able to feel Eddie’s runaway heart under his ribs but he didn’t care. In fact he hoped he could. He hoped it would let Steve know he wasn’t the only one who was scared out of his mind right now.
“Do you-” Steve gulped, opening his eyes again. “Do you still-”
“Yes, I still. I very still.” Eddie squeezed his hand tighter, pulled it harder into his chest, like he wanted Steve to touch his raw and bloody heart with his bare hands.
“Really? Even now? Even though… even after…?”
“Stevie.” Eddie whispered, heart breaking. “Do you think now that I’m sober I wouldn’t want you anymore?”
When Steve just shrugged Eddie couldn’t help himself. He reached a hand out, brushing his knuckles against Steve’s cheek before thumbing a tear away.
“All of this. Everything has been for you.” Eddie kept his voice low, trying to inject as much love as he could into the tone of his voice while he kept stroking Steve’s cheek. “It’ll continue to be for you as long as I live. Now that I know what I know, I don’t think there’s any going back for me. There hasn’t been for a while. I’ve been miserable for so long, hiding underneath substances and sex and denial that I forgot what it was like to even feel… neutral. I didn't know my own heart and you… you allowed me to be able to feel it again."
“Eddie… d’you- can I- can-”
“Do you want to kiss me?”
“Yes.” Steve almost sighed, relaxing like the weight of the world had just been gently lifted from his shoulders.
“C’mere.”
Eddie moved his hand from Steve’s cheek, curling his fingers around the back of his neck.
He pulled Steve forward and despite the thundering of his heart in his chest he had only intended it to be a short press of lips, an assurance, a comfort.
As soon as he kissed Steve, Eddie knew for certain that this was it for him. He was done for. He never wanted to kiss anyone else as long as he lived.
He’d never been kissed with so much emotion, with so much feeling. It enveloped his entire body. Any emotions that had previously been attached to kissing, he realised with sudden clarity, were just a general feeling of wild hornyness, crushing on someone, liking someone, being attracted to someone.
All those were there when kissing Steve but there was so much more.
There was so much love and compassion and it was just so easy. They could have been doing this for years and Eddie found himself already mourning all the time that had previously been lost. He mourned who he used to be, the previous Eddie who had just been kissed out of existence despite his slow death over the last few months. The previous Eddie who’d thought that that life was the best it could ever get.
The poor bastard.
The kiss was wet and not exactly in a sexy way, Steve’s tears mingling between their mouths. Despite how it started, chaste and innocent and assuring, it didn’t stay that way even though Eddie had the best of intentions.
Steve’s hand was at the back of his head, holding him close, trapping him in the best way as he leaned over him. Eddie felt his knee get batted out of the way and his legs pushed open as Steve settled between them, laying Eddie back on the couch and pressing him down as his tongue bullied its way into his mouth. Steve was well and truly steering this ship and Eddie was just happy to be along for the ride.
If Eddie’s eyes had been open they’d have rolled back in his head.
“Stevie,” Eddie croaked as his neck was being attacked by little nips and sucks that were making it very hard to think, “are you in the right headspace for this?”
Steve paused for a moment before pulling back to shoot him an incredulous look, hovering over him on those strong arms. “You’re asking me if I’m in the right headspace for something maybe sexual? How often have you been in the right headspace when you’ve done sexual things in the past?”
Eddie frowned. “Not very often, which is why I’m asking now.”
The line over Steve’s brow softened and he leaned down to place a kiss against Eddie’s forehead and damn there were those butterflies again.
“Do you want me to stop?”
Eddie shook his head, a little more emphatically than he needed to. “No.”
“Do you want me?”
“I- yes. God, baby, I don’t want anyone else ever again.”
“Okay, good.” Steve leaned down again until he was a breadth away. "Can I continue then?"
So, like…
Eddie hadn't done anything in the last six months besides use his own hand.
And maybe some toys.
But he hadn't had a good fuck, hadn't had a good suck in six months after having multiple of each every week for years. In hindsight it had all been frighteningly close to some kind of sex addiction.
But still, six months.
That was to say when Eddie nodded and Steve leaned back down with that smirk of his, it was like he knew.
Knew that when he rolled his hips down like that Eddie was at risk of blowing his load in less than ten seconds.
“Don’t care,” Steve moaned into his mouth, “don’t care if it’s quick. Don’t care. I wanna see.”
And as embarrassing as it was, that’s what did it.
Steve telling him he wanted to see him.
Eddie came with a cry, only barely able to coherently get half the man’s name out of his mouth. It took him longer than usual to float back into his body and even then he was still a little fucked out. Six months. He scrambled to stick his hand down Steve’s pants. This he knew. This he could practically do with his eyes closed. It only took a few minutes for Steve to follow with his mouth hanging open and a beautiful little scrunch in his brow.
“Oh shit.” Eddie sunk back into the cushions. “Don’t think I’ve come in my pants since I was sixteen.”
“I’m flattered.” Steve smiled, peppering kiss over his cheeks, his nose, his forehead.
“You should be.” Eddie smiled back, leaning into the easy affection he was being showered with with so much joy.
“Um,” Steve hesitated, still pressing Eddie into the couch with his body weight but up on his elbows, fiddling nervously with his hair, “just so we’re clear on-”
“I’m with you. If you want.” He slung his arms around Steve’s neck. “We can be a thing. In a relationship. Boyfriends. Partners. All of the above. I’m yours for as long as you want me.”
“Hmm.” Steve tried to give a nonchalant shrug. “That could be a very long time.”
“I’m okay with that.” Eddie leaned up, making sure to seal it with a kiss.
Six Months Later
“So… here’s the thing.” Steve wedged himself in behind Eddie, legs on either side and pulling him back against his chest while Eddie tapped away on his game controller, swinging from building to building.
Eddie settled back, allowing his body to relax but keeping his eyes on the screen. “Mhm?”
“You remember the Sucker music video?” Steve nuzzled his nose into Eddie’s hair.
“Ugh.” Eddie couldn’t watch it. It had come out while Steve was on vacation the first time and Eddie hadn’t wanted to look at the guy who’d potentially destroyed one of the most important relationships in his life.
Nowadays he was almost tempted to send the bitch a fruit basket. Sex with you helped me find love with someone else. Something like that.
“Right, well you know how there wasn’t enough footage for that gory online exclusive cut?”
“A tragedy, really.”
“Yeah. But the label is looking to release something small before you all start writing again, keep interest up and I was talking to the boys-”
“You were plotting with the boys.”
Steve nodded, tightening his arms for just a moment. “I was plotting with the boys and we were thinking why don’t we do some reshoots to get enough footage together and release it?”
Eddie had to pause the game and twist around. “Sweetheart, tell me you are not suggesting we contact whatever the fuck his name was and I go film with him again?”
Steve looked scandalised. “No! Jesus, no. That’s not what I’m suggesting. I’m… well we were thinking that maybe you could film it with… me.”
Eddie turned completely, planting himself over Steve’s lap and grinning down at him. “Oh yeah?” He leaned in, ghosting his lips over Steve’s cheek, coming to a stop right by his ear. “You wanna be my victim, baby?”
“I get bitten by you enough, I might as well-” Steve gasped as Eddie sunk his teeth into his neck, sucking at the skin. “-might as well get paid for it.” He rolled his hips up and any logistical talk of the video shoot completely flew out the window.
Three weeks later and the video had been released. It was filthy, it was disgusting, it was downright sexy even if that fake blood still tasted like shit.
Though Steve didn’t really have a problem with his face being in the video, he was mostly kept anonymous.
Quick close up flashes of his open panting mouth before a hand was clapped over it then his neck gushing blood while Eddie practically bathed in the spray. A shot of Steve’s chest as the clothes were ripped from him, a hand tugging harshly at the hair. Then red dripping handprints over his stomach and black tipped fingers pushing his knees apart and Eddie’s hand running through his hair, leaving blood streaked in its wake, were all that was seen of him.
People went fucking wild for it. It broke through to mainstream news, which Corroded Coffin hadn’t managed to do for a while.
Christian moms were scandalised.
Conservative men were outraged.
Social media was thirsty.
And Steve was starting to get offers.
Even though he wasn’t really identifiable, people in the industry who’s job it was to know these things started sending him offers for modelling jobs or acting jobs. Though Steve had originally not given them a second look, now he was starting to look.
They’d both agreed that ethically Steve couldn’t really continue on as his P.A. anymore. The thought had once scared the everloving shit out of Eddie but now… now it was okay, because Steve was Eddie’s and Eddie was Steve’s.
Two Years Later
God, he loved being on stage. It was such a rush. How had he been doing it in an altered state for so long?
It was their first tour since all of everything with Steve had happened.
Nearly a year and a half since he’d had to get a new personal assistant.
Nancy was like some weird mix in between Steve and the other two, Dustin and Max. Like Steve, she knew how to handle executives and businessmen like she was speaking a second language. She was loyal to a fault. She was small and sweet looking. People didn’t keep their guard up around her. That would be their first mistake.
There was one very memorable instance where an overly eager and quite frankly stupid paparazzo had managed to sneak onto Eddie’s property.
It was rumoured that the new up and coming heartthrob of indie rom-coms was allegedly the live-in boyfriend of a controversial metal singer and this idiot was sure he could get the scoop.
What he hadn’t been expecting was Nancy Wheeler in her white frilly blouse and baby blue dress pants popping him on the nose and swinging her sensible heeled foot in between his legs.
It had all been caught on security footage.
Eddie had the screenshots framed and Nancy now had them hung behind her desk in the office she had in his house.
Like Dustin and Max, she’d worked with Steve in the past. She was an absolute wizard when it came to organisation, she didn’t treat him like a mythical entity and she could see past the big bad image to the soft squishy human underneath.
She had a bit more trouble articulating things when it came to emotion but her intentions were never bad.
Though Eddie and Steve didn’t have an employer/employee relationship anymore, the relationship they did have had only blossomed.
Apparently they were sickening to be around, but Eddie couldn’t really find it within himself to care. He loved his boy so why would he hide it when they were amongst friends?
Robin was forced to eat her words soon enough, which Eddie found great satisfaction in, and reminded her of it often, when he’d introduced her to Chrissy.
Those two were just as bad as he and Steve.
Eddie gave his thanks to the crowd and jogged off to the wings where Steve was waiting with a bottle of water that he nearly drowned himself with, trying to swallow it all down in one go.
Steve just rolled his eyes, making sure to stay out of sight of the crowd as he did it. Neither of them really cared if they got caught red handed with each other but if they could avoid the media circus, they would.
Steve wanted to make a name for himself on his own.
“You don’t have to do this, Eds.”
Eddie nodded. “I know.”
“It’s a big risk.” Steve continued with his hands on his hips.
“I know.” He handed the bottle back to Steve. “But I said I'd do it, didn't I?”
“You did, but you can always pull out.”
“Baby, I never pull out.”
“That's a fucking lie.”
It was Eddie’s turn to roll his eyes now. “Just sit back and enjoy the show, sweetheart.”
Steve gave his ass a squeeze. “Always do.”
Eddie pinched his cheek before turning and jogging back out to centre stage amongst the cries of encore from the crowd.
“Alright, alright.” He spoke into the mic. “One more song for you all. Um,” the nerves were coming in hard and fast now as he glanced behind him towards the other members who gave him encouraging nods.
Well of course they didn’t need to be nervous.
They weren’t singing the damn thing.
Eddie turned back to the crowd as a stage hand came out and handed him his guitar. “I gotta be honest with you all, I’m scared shitless of performing this song. You might be wondering what that’s been doing here all this time.”
He pointed over at the piano that had been sitting quietly in a corner, unused for the whole show.
The audience ooohed and cheered.
“Unfortunately I can’t play, but Jeff here is multi-talented.” Jeff handed his guitar off and took his seat at the piano, tapping on a few keys before giving Eddie the thumbs up.
“People get crucified for covering this band. It’s just not done.” There was chattering starting up in the crowd as they started to speculate. “No one can get close to what this man had, but god damn it, there’s someone special out there who I want to do this for. They’re his favourite band and this is his favourite song and based on your reaction I think some of you already know what I’m about to fucking do. Shit.” He sighed into the mic. “This is Her Majesty. Queen.”
Eddie had no hope of being able to improvise or vamp like Freddie once had and he would never even attempt to try. So as the first piano notes played out over the speakers he opened his mouth and started to sing.
They'd practised this song to death. The whole band was adamant that if they were going to do this they were going to do it right. They guys had practised their high backing vocals for weeks. Eddie had rehearsed the song for months.
There was no way he was going to do Freddie dirty.
By the time he’d gotten to Brian May’s guitar solo he was able to move around a little and get a good look at the crowd.
His eyes landed on a mess of long dirty blond hair and he felt his mouth drop open.
“Holy shit.” He muttered to himself.
Julian beamed up at him, his arms wrapped around a little twink of a man with a shock of black hair wearing a battle vest that if memory served, had definitely belonged to Julian last they’d met.
“Danny?” Eddie mouthed at him.
Julian’s responding nod was elated as he squeezed Danny against him tighter. Danny himself looked completely shell shocked while something was whisper-shouted into his ear over the music.
Eddie wanted to fucking jump for joy.
With a glance back into the wings, he saw Steve muttering to Nancy, gesturing out towards them. When he looked up and caught Eddie’s eye he tilted his head in question.
You wanna bring them back?
Eddie nodded, just barely catching sight of Nancy disappearing off somewhere before he turned back to finish out the song with a bang, sending one last wink Julian’s way before the lights went down.
When he opened the door to his green room, it was to the sight of Robin trying to adjust her top and Chrissy pulling her skirt back down, both red faced and breathing heavily.
“Can’t you two go find a bathroom or a maintenance closet or something? This is my room! I’m supposed to be the one doing sexy things back here.”
“We lost track of time!” Robin said with crossed arms.
Eddie stuck his hands on his hips. “Surely the sudden lack of loud music should have tipped you off that the concert was over?”
“We were distracted.” Chrissy shrugged, looking completely unapologetic.
“Well go be distracted somewhere else, I’ve got guests coming back.”
“Who?” They asked at the same time.
“An old friend.”
Just then the door behind him was opened.
Nancy gestured Julian through, who had a huge smile on his face, pulling Danny along by the hand who looked like he was about to faint.
Eddie surged forward, catching Julian up in a crushing hug while he laughed.
“You got your man!” He cried, practically bouncing the two of them.
“I got my man!” Julian squeezed back before extricating himself from Eddie’s arms, pulling Danny forward and tucking him in under his arm. “Eddie, this is Danny Aguilar. Danny this-”
“Hi! I- uh… yeah, I um. I know you. I mean I don’t know you. I mean I know who you are…” Danny stuttered out and before Eddie could even say anything, Nancy was at his side with a small smile and a bottle of water that he took with shaking hands.
“It’s really cool to meet you, man. I’ve heard great things.” Eddie smiled at him but that only seemed to freak him out more so he decided to give the guy a break, turning his attention back to Julian who was rubbing small circles on Danny’s back.
“So tell me, how did this happen?” Eddie asked, pointing between the two of them.
“Well,” Julian gave Danny a squeeze while he took a large drink. “It was the rumours about you actually.”
Eddie snorted. “Which ones?”
“The ones about you shacking up with some guy named Steve who may or may not be the same Steve who’s been making a name for himself.” Julian raised a brow at him. “I figured that even if they weren’t true, I’d seen you get your shit together, get sober, get healthy and it made me think I could do that too. Only one life to live, you know?”
“That’s amazing.” Eddie smiled. “I’m so happy for you, man.”
Julian blushed. “Thanks. What about you?” He asked. “If you tell me that it didn’t work out after I said all of that I’m gonna feel like a giant asshole.”
“No, I-” He felt an arm slide over his shoulders.
“I think it worked out okay.” Steve grinned at him and Eddie felt like he was falling in love all over again. “I hear you were the only one to actually say it out loud to him, so I guess I have you to thank for this.” Steve tugged on one of his curls and Eddie batted his hand away, only to grab it again and hold on tight.
“Oh shit. Really?” Julian looked between them with wide eyes.
Danny was looking at him like he’d hung the moon.
“Yeah, really. Listen, I was thinking. We have a private space booked at a restaurant for the band and the crew and the lesbians,” Steve waved his hand in Robin and Chrissy’s direction who’d fallen into quiet conversation but now just shot him matching middle fingers, “we’d love it if you wanted to come along. Let us treat you two? As a proper thank you for helping this idiot get his shit together.”
Steve pulled him in tight and Eddie just melted.
Julian was nodding enthusiastically.
And poor Danny.
Poor Danny could only squeak in agreement.
Thank you for coming with me on this journey and I hope you've loved it as much as I have. 🖤
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 AO3
@lifeisnotsobadonceyoustopcaring, @child-of-cthulhu, @sweetwaterangel, @anaibis, @katytheinspiredworkaholic, @littlewildflowerkitten, @hallucinatedjosten, @estrellami-1, @gregre369, @stxrcrossed186, @novelnovella, @imhereforthelolzdontyellatme, @hellowhatthehellisgoingonhere, @thesuninyaface, @messrs-weasley
#steddie#steve x eddie#stranger things#eddie x steve#fanfic#steddie fic#penny00dreadful#stranger things fic#rockstar eddie munson#rockstar eddie#personal assistant steve#personal assistant steve harrington#modern au#somebody to love
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Opposite Ends
Chapter One - Welcome to Hawkins High
C2 | C3 | C4 | C5 | C6 | C7 | C8 | C9 | C10 | C11 | C12 | C13 pt 1 | C13 pt 2 |
Chapter 2 is out now - enjoy Sunflowers, P. x 🌻
Pairing | Eddie x Female reader 18+. Steve x Robin x Female reader platonic friendship
Series summary | Dustins older sister got brought into the group during the events of Starcourt mall, 3 months on she's in her senior year and the kids are starting high school. After everything that went down she feels that she has to keep them safe at all costs, that includes keeping them way from the charismatic 'freak' Eddie Munson that runs a club based on their favourite game. They've both hated each other since her freshman year -with good reason-, but when keeping distance between the kids and Eddie means putting herself in the firing line, boundaries get blurred, intentions get lost & the heart speaks louder than the brain.
The story is told from both Y/N & Eddies point of view.
What to expect | Slow burn enemies to lovers, Angst - with a happy ending, fluff & smut (in the later chapters). 18+ to read this story.
Series Warnings | Mentions of abuse, drug use, 18+ smut content
Chapter word count | 3.2k word count
Chapter warnings | Mention of physical abuse & Drug use
Any & All comments/reblogs are most appreciated - Love, P. x 🌿
Authors Note | I really hoped you enjoyed it & if you read the entire chapter then thank you for reading! I plan on putting a lot of effort into this story so it may be slow going at first before we see some development between Eddie x y/n. Feel free to let me know what you think! Take care sunflower 🌻, P. x
Y/N | October 1985
It had not even surpassed a month since the quote 'Fire of Starcourt Mall devastates Hawkins' had been splayed across static ridden TV sets in almost every household as it broke across our dearest - and allegedly cursed -towns news headlines and quickly spiralled into a national sensation, the deaths of the flayed blamed on it.
I didn't have to imagine what people thought about that "poor dammed Hawkins town' when they saw the news, up until June I was of the same mind as the rest of the towns terrified residents. Housewives had huddle together in the aisles of Hawkins stores; heads close together as the whispers broke out above the white noise.
“Yes, that’s right, ever since that Byers boy went missing, nothing has been right and all of these tragic deaths. I’m telling you Helen; it almost devilish what’s been happening. Hawkins can’t catch a break, we’re cursed, cursed I tell you.”
And with those venomous words loudly whispered into the eagerly awaiting ears of the notorious town gossip, it had taken only all of an afternoon for that gossip to turn factual and become the opinion held in the highest regard by most residents. Unlike those oblivious to the actual truth, I liked to think I wouldn’t have been so naive and gullible to believe the theories circulating the grapevine, some even more farfetched and implausible than what actually occurred last summer.
Well, almost, I amended. Sometimes I wondered if I would have been better off being continually blissfully unaware of what was beneath my feet at this exact moment. But my brother Dustin and his nerdy friends had come to me for help, whirling me into the most thrilling and traumatising week of my life.
Somehow having read some Russian literature and being able to crack some stupid code that Dustin wouldn’t explain the importance of, corelated to me being stuck in a secret Soviet Russian base elevator underground the famous Starcourt mall. I had sat with my head between my knees for hours, the cold metal of the grates in the floor pushing into my thighs while Dustin explained the past 3 years of our lives from his point of view.
I couldn’t keep up with his voice. Between some band geek from school that I recognised by face only, rubbing my back and kept asking if I was going to hurl, Lucas Sinclair’s kid sister humorous running commentary interrupting Dustin’s story at points and Steve the freaking hair Harrington pacing with his hands on his hips, inspecting the roof and telling Dustin to hurry up. I cut him off halfway through telling a story of something called a Dart. His goofy grin faded from his face as I stood up quickly, rubbing my hand roughly against my eyes to push away the images his irrational words had painted.
“Let me see if I’ve got this.” I had started ticking off my fingers.
“Byers wasn’t lost in the woods but was in fact in some other underground dimension of Hawkins.”
“The upside down.” Dustin interrupted me.
I continued like I hadn’t heard him “There’s some girl with superpowers who always saves you guys, and there’s something called a demodorgan that eats people?” Dustin opened his mouth to correct me, but Steve beat him to it.
“We don’t have time for this dingus, in case you haven’t noticed we are stuck in a literal Russian based filled with soldiers that are probably going to shoot us the moment they find us.” His voice raised to an unattractive shrill at the end, I examined him closer, dressed in that dorky ice-cream uniform with panic plastered across his face it was hard to imagine that he had once been my biggest crush in middle school. Although I doubted I looked much better.
“One last thing.” I grumbled as my hands flailed at my sides.
“Everyone else, literally everyone else knew about this except for me?” I questioned the room, but my eyes were on my baby brother. Anger was coursing through me, but also shame, it was hard to not believe that what he was saying was true given where I was standing at that very moment, no matter how preposterous all of it sounded, but shame at the fact that he hadn’t included me in this earlier. That Steve the hair Harrington had been a better older sibling than I had, I had been too focused on getting the best grades in school and over analysing every interaction I had with Billy while giggling with my friends, to see what clearly had to be happening in front of my eyes.
In that moment I had thought our situation couldn’t get worse. But then Steve, myself and Robin the band geek had held onto each other like a lifeline as we were each interrogated by the Russian soldiers, while Dustin and Erica ran for help. And the lasting physical damage from that didn’t even begin to compare to the consequences after the events of the fire, consequences that we were all still dealing with to this day.
I would have happily taken beatings from trained six foot grown Russian soldiers for the rest of my life if it meant the Mind Flayer never came top side. If it meant that I would catch glimpses of bruised skin out of the corner of my eyes as I passed my reflection in the hallways at school, instead of black worming lines that weren’t really there, crawling over my cheeks and pouring into my head. It had taken weeks for me to convince myself that it was just remnants of PTSD, or whatever the school counsellor had called it, that was causing the fleeting images to stalk me during my waking hours and follow me into my nightmares, seemingly doomed to plague my broken, murky mind forever.
That was the funny thing about shared trauma, the bond it created with those involved. Even though half of the group was split in more ways than one, it was ironic that I’d complained about being left out of the loop for so long, only to be practically joined at the hip with the members of the group that remained behind in Hawkins after the fire.
Max and I had found comfort in each other’s presence, silently understanding each other’s feelings over Billy. Since her stepfather had left and she had moved to the trailer park with her mom it had become the daily routine to drive her to and from school together every day, her home was out of the high school bus route and even though it wasn’t that far of a walk, I didn’t feel comfortable leaving her to her own devices.
As I drove to the trailer park Max and her mother resided in, my eyes came to rest on the clothes flapping on the washing line next to her home, as I turned my car off Curly road, down her street. The familiar gravel of the makeshift street crunching away under the tires. She was perched on the weathered steps, wearing Billy’s jacket as always and headphones already covering her ears. No doubt playing that new ‘Hounds of love’ album, I could hear it sometimes when Max was having a particularly bad day and she blasted it as loud as possible it on her Walkman. Probably to drain out whatever thought or memory harassed her, the first time I wanted to chastise her about making her eardrums bleed I caught myself. I did things I wasn’t supposed to, to block out my own demons. Who was I to judge about how Max dealt with hers.
“Y/N” Dustin pulled me out of my thoughts from the seat next to me as the rolled the car to a stop, Max pulled the back door open and slid into the seat, nodding her head as her morning acknowledgment. “You’ve been in the school for three years longer than me so you should know what clubs there are!” Dustin smacked his walkie and shoved the antenna down in frustration. ”Dammit Mike!” The asphalt flew away beneath the car as I pushed the gas pedal down faster. Itching to get the day over as fast as possible.
“Do I look like I’m even remotely interested in your nerdy stuff to even pay the slightest bit of attention to what clubs you might like?” Although it might have been a good idea to see what group I could off load my brother and Mike wheeler to, it was the last day of the first week of high school and they were still following me around like lost sheep. My senior year, the one where I needed to concentrate the most and I was stuck running a baby-sitting club. I rocked in my seat as we drove over the speedbump leading into the school’s carpark.
“What’s hellfire?” My neck snapped to look at Dustin.
“Wh – what?” I sputtered, “How do you know about them?” He pointed to a duo walking in the swarm headed to the school’s entrance. Gareth and Jeff I thought, but it was hard to tell from the distance, my eyesight was worsening, and I made a mental note to find my glasses in my bombshell of a room, sooner rather than later. Dustin must have seen their shirts.
“So?” He pushed, eyeing me curiously.
“I don’t know man, they’re a club I guess, they play some game...” I tightened my grasp on the wheel and looked over my shoulder to park.
“What game?” He drew out his question like he already knew the answer. I groaned internally already sensing where this was heading. Apparently so did Max.
“Bye.” She murmured as she slinked out of the backseat, sliding her bag up her shoulder and burrowing down into the safety of her oversized jacket.
"Some fantasy game” I shrugged nonchalantly as his eyes bulged in his skull. Killing the engine and gathering my stuff, I spoke before he could. “You’re staying away from them, Eddie Munson’s a member and he’s a freak.” I explained forcefully, the words burned my tongue on the way out, I was sure the words ‘hypocrite’ were plastered on my forehead.
“He’s a freak because he plays a game?” He scoffed looking at me disbelievingly, with traces of disdain.
I rushed to explain myself “No I just – he just – look, he’s dangerous and you aren’t to go near him, no discussion.” He just grinned and jumped out. Rolling down the passenger side window I shouted at his retreating back “No discussion!”
With robotical movements, ingrained from following the same path for almost four years, I made my way to my locker to grab the necessary books for my first class of the day. Ignoring the lingering and longing stares thrown my way, the whispers had dissipated weeks ago. New morsels of gossip were either discovered or created far too often to focus on any specific one to cause any real discomfort.
After the fire, everything had changed, it wasn’t just the physical impact it had. Anyone could see the holes that the deaths had created in Hawkins, but there was one that affected me more than anyone else's. Suddenly the basketball team wasn’t as loud, the hallways were missing a certain cologne and I still waited five minutes after the last bell rung to hear the smooth purr of an engine that would never roar to life again.
In the terms of Hawkins Highs newsletter, I may as well be a victim of the fire to. Sweet perfect Y/F/N didn’t care about cheerleading, or basketball, or parties, or boys or friends anymore. I was just an empty shell, an echo of the bright person they grew up with. They said Billy’s death changed me, that I was too heartbroken to continue on without him. They weren’t all wrong, loosing Billy, and – my heart squeezed painfully with the memories of what happened right after that - did change me. I would never admit it to listening ears, lest it get back to Max, but I was well and truly over Billy in a romantic sense. The past 4 months brought my inane problems and mundane life into excruciating clear focus, suddenly what I was going to wear to the after-game party didn’t matter. Graduating as soon as possible so I could escape the town that had its talons in deeper than just my skin - it had my soul in its grasp - was the most important purpose in my life.
That still didn’t stop my old friends from caressing at the surface, probing to see if I’d would come back to life. A strong hand slammed down on the locker next to me, sending a ringing in my ears and my carefully stacked books to clatter the floor. Sighing, I stilled the rattling open door of my locker.
“You coming to cheer me on tonight Y/N?” Jason Carver. His overpowering stench of expensive cologne and sweat after basketball practise assaulted my senses, invading my body and mind. I took an involuntary step back and crinkled my nose.
“Just like every other Friday you’ve asked me Jason, no. For the last time no.” His nonchalant laugh insulted the seriousness of my tone, but his smile didn’t quite reach his eyes. There was something lurking there.
“Come on, I know your squad misses you.” His voice was whiny as he reached behind my head to bring the end of my ponytail over my shoulder, the brush of his fingers sent a chill up my spine as he fiddled with the green ribbon tied there. I could feel eyes pouring into my back, but when I spun away from Jason, slamming my locker shut, sending a fresh breeze over the both of us, there was no one I could see watching me.
“I’m going to be late for Mr Mundy.” I called as an afterthought, barely glancing back at a confused Jason still standing by my locker, not wanting to have him seek me out later. I hadn’t heard the second bell ring while he cornered me, too preoccupied with the sickening feeling that had begun in my stomach when Jason’s blue eyes bored into mine and now settled in the low pits of my frame as I tore through the empty corridors. I paused at the edge of Mr Mundy’s classroom door to fix my hair back into place when I got a glimpse of my reflection in the window. My breath hitched in my throat as a prickly heat spread out across my body. She smiled back at me with lips that were trembling on my own face.
“Y/N” She drawled, “I’m still here, waiting.” Black lines appeared on my neck, crawling up my face. My head swam as I hung my head down, ripping my eyes away from the stranger in the window. No, not a stranger echoed in my mind, the same black lines started to flourish from my fingertips, spreading up my forearms.
Something hard but fleshy slammed into my back, bringing me out of my nightmare. Tommy H spun around to grin at me holding his hands up in an apologetic way as he walked backwards into the class. My head snapped back up to the window, but it was my own eyes, glassy with fresh tears that stared back at me. I quickly followed suit after Tommy, hoping to slip in undetected. Fortunately, Mr Mundy was preoccupied with reprimanding Carol over some violation or another as I hastily found my seat in the third row. I shoved my bag under the desk and flipped to an empty page in my notebook, a strong breeze blowing through the open windows helped even my breathing as I focused on the coolness of the air. I groaned as I felt the warm body on my left shift in my direction. With everything that had happened that morning I hadn’t let myself think about this class. Mr Mundy had been out sick for the first two days of the week, so it was actually the first class of senior year, and like the past three years of high school in calculus, I was situated in my regular seat with some quiet band geek on my right side and –
“Miss Y/N,” He cleared his throat leaning forward “You uh –“
“Shut it Munson, you’d think since it was you’re third year trying to pass high school you would at least bring a pencil, regardless – not my issue.” I snapped, crossing my legs and angling my body away from Edward Munson, Hawkins Highs very own organically grown Metal head.
As much I appreciated Mr Mundy’s teaching style, i wasn’t a fan of his inability to deal with change, hence why – after clearly pissing off some high power from above– I ended up sitting next to Eddie on an iron clad seating chart. No amount of begging and bargaining with the Calculus teacher got me anywhere
‘The best and the worst students in the class, you might rub off on him Y/N.’ Mr Mundy then just winked, laughed and snatched his brief case up on his way out before I had a chance to respond. But if he thought for one second that I was going to tutor or be some sort of good role model, then Mr Mundy wasn’t as smart as he thought he was, or I just was as stubborn as I thought I was. Eddie was a lost cause, for the most part of our four years of school, I’d managed to avoid and ignore the metal head. We’d probably said about five sentences to each other and that was only because of partnered projects we were forced to share. Even so, I swore his sole purpose on earth was to piss me off and he seemed determined to live up to the title or die trying.
The way he’d twist the rings that adorned almost all of his knuckles, so they’d catch the sunlight and blind me, or how he’d bang a couple of pencils on his desk pretending to play a fake drum set while humming a song I didn’t know under his breath. The scratching of his pencil against his desk piercing through my concertation as he doodled away, completing ignoring whatever important material Mr Mundy would be teaching. Most infuriating of all though was the fresh smell of weed that would hit me like a rock as he sauntered past my desk, arriving late to class because he was busy smoking. More infuriating now, as it was what I used to be able to sleep through the night. Since the fire I hadn't one night where I didn't wake screaming or locked in a frozen cage of terror.
The earthy smell, even diluted by Eddie's cologne, sent a stab of wanting through my core, not a feeling I wanted to associate with Eddie.
A wolf whistle erupted behind me and I slowly turned to see Tommy and some cronies eyeing me up and down like a piece of meat.
“Nice show Y/N” They chuckled loudly, ensuring everyone could hear them, Mr Mundy started to make his way over to the commotion. I scowled at the group of boys confused, until realisation dawned on my face.
Chapter Two
I hope you enjoyed the first chapter & my very first post! If you would like to be added to my Eddie tag list, let me know! :) Enjoy Sunflowers - P. x
Copyright © 2022 by P.McCann
All rights reserved.
#eddie munson fan fiction#eddie munson headcanon#eddie stranger things#eddie munson one shot#eddie munson imagine#eddie munson x reader#eddie munson#stranger things s4#stranger things 4#stranger things#eddie fanfic#eddie smut#eddie fluff#eddie x reader smut#eddie munson x reader smut#eddie x reader#eddie x you#opposite ends
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some things i’ve manifested using the law of assumption —note that i’ve been using it to manifest for years, i was around 8 or 9, so it’s a lot—
1- when i was 8, i remember leaving the church and going home. i really wanted to go to the mall that day because it was almost xmas eve and there’s a lot of activities in my country, i also wanted to see the big xmas tree by the electric stairs. i remember that i affirmed everyday only one affirmation, i didn’t pay attention but lately i realized that ive always been living in the end and didnt realize because my affirmation stated the desire already fulfilled. i affirmed the whole day, i even went to the backyard and looked at the sky as if i was talking with god or something similar. i started affirming around 11 am and by 5 pm my mom was getting ready and i asked her “where are you going?” and she literally told me: i received your school grades, they are all good for me so im taking you to the mall. i lived happily the whole week because i thought that was my first encounter with god or something 😂😂
2- this was in my freshman or sophomore year, i really cant remember the time really well in this one but i do remember that my friend and i had fought and i was really scared because he ignored me everyday and we used to be really close so i reminded my subconscious everyday for like 3 days straight that they were not mad, they were just dealing with stuff or busy (yeah the gaslighting 😘😘) and nah, by day 4 he talked to me again and everything was back to normal like nothing happened.
3- food. yes, the thing i manifest the most is food because i adore eating. i used to live with the assumption: my mom is bringing me chocolate/cheesecake or pizza from work today. EVERY WEEK. and it would happen, i got used to it and stopped assuming random things that had to do with food.
i cant remember any other one, dementia patient right here 🚶🏻♀️🚶🏻♀️🚶🏻♀️
as for my recent ones, ive got a bunch. im a very anxious person and tbh manifesting before was way easier than now. the pressure is killing me but i still managed to manifest stuff from 2021 to this day.
1- a boyfriend. yes, i manifested a boyfriend around april 2021. i didnt go into detail but he had everything i was looking for + he was amazing (at first ofc), he later changed and i had to start attending to therapy sessions cause i got diagnosed and im still traumatized. i forgot to script the loyalty part… so yeah he definitely did cheat and gaslit me. but he made me feel amazing while it lasted. we broke up around 2 months ago and we had 2 years together. i didnt manifest the break up, he did. which is good. the universe sent me signs cause days later after the break up i found out messages and stuff of him cheating the same week of the break up.
2- i manifested for my attachment to go away. note: im the type of person to get attached emotionally to people, i was emotionally depending on my ex, so as soon as we broke up i had a dream where somebody told me to just go out the day after and spoil myself. buy whatever i want and spend some money cause i was working so hard to buy the flight to go and see him. 4 days later when i found out he was with another person i cried in my way to work and i was feeling so well that day that i literally did my hair and makeup but it got smudged :(( but that was the last and first time i cried over him after everything was over. next day i woke up feeling positive and i suddenly let everything go. bad people eventually get what they deserve in life so i just got over it and im not attached to him or the old story anymore!!
3- i manifested new friends plus i contacted my old friends back. most of them were in bad terms with me cause i blocked them out of nowhere because of my ex, everything was so messed up but they forgave me and they are very good friends after all, they text me and hype me up every day so i cannot be more grateful :D
4- i manifested my sp :D after these 2 months i thought to myself: if that person could move on, you can too. so i did, although my sp and me are not fully prepared for a relationship rn, we’re both aware of our mutual attraction and promised to give us time until we were both fully healed 🫶🏻
5- MONEYYYYYY. yeah it sounds like im too ambitious when it comes to money but im soooo silly. i spend everything i get plus i need to pay for my own stuff at school. i dont like bothering my parents with my expenses —even though they are supposed to provide for me but i feel like a problem when i do that so—, i manifested money like 4 times this year??? first, my parents never give me more than 100 for my birthday and all of a sudden they gave me 500$??? i even posted about it my happiness was out of the roof. i went to the cinema w my friends to watch an anime movie that got released on my birthday yayayaya. later, i started working and got like 1,200 in the summertime and now i manifested more money this week TO SAVE. i literally by assuming got into the void and manifested a bag full of money. i wont stfu about it IM AMBITIOUS in a good way with money, i need to move out and start building my future (bro im still 17 😔)
6- clothes and makeup. uMmm im not a fan of makeup tbh buttttt i wanted to have some in case one day i decide to put some on, my skin has always been clear and pretty, my lashes are super long and my eyebrows are really thick so i only worry about doing a perfect lip combo. i got a box and 2 bags full of makeup <3 especially makeup of my favorite brands 😙😙😙 i also was able to buy clothes online very similar to the ones that i had on my pinterest boards ^^ but i kinda forgot to buy shoes.. BFFR 😭😭😭 ive been repeating the same 5 shoes, but im gonna buy some new ones soon!!
7- colognes and jewelry 😘😘😘😘😘 yes, im a fan of these too!! my dad gave me a box full of earrings and rings. but not any kind of earrings, LONG AND BIG EARRINGS W UNUSUAL DESIGNS just how i like them. and some cute rings w rabbit, figures, etc. the colognes smell really well!! i got the nicki minaj perfume in all versions, dior colognes and a box with like 8 different types of victoria’s sprays 🚶🏻♀️🚶🏻♀️🚶🏻♀️
8- a good school year. its only been a month but ive made friends and i find a lot of people WHO SUDDENLY KNOW ME, waving at me in the hallways and im like OH YEAH HI even tho idk who they are?? it feels so goodddddd i feel like an it girl omg 😭😭😭 and also my grades are MAGNIFIC, i got accepted in our honors program and im currently a staff cadet in our military program I DID NOT EVEN KNOW IT WOULD BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO ACQUIRE A HIGH RANK HERE BUT I DID ITTTT I DID ITTTT IM LEADING :D
yeah i cant remember more but thats all i’ve accomplished so far, see u dont need the void to fucking manifest 🥱🥱🥱🥱 gurllll-
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UnBreak My Heart ~ E.M
Anonymous asked:
I've had this thought of like eddie and reader hooking up before going into the upside down bc he thinks he's not gonna make it out. But after he does and clears his name a month later he ends up seeing this girl and you find out your pregnant so you end up avoiding him not wanting Eddie to believe you're trying to get into the way of his relationship bc you want him to be happy. He keeps asking around why he doesn't see you anymore and everyone just makes and excuse so he goes to see you and by this point you're 3 months and clearly showing. She explains why she's been acting the way she has and he tells her him and the girl broke up etc. Can end with them moving in together and just really fluffy stuff.
After defeating Vecna and Eddie clearing his name, you wanted him to be happy. That's all that mattered to you. You remember like it was yesterday the way his lips felt against your skin, the way he touched right before you and the rest of the gang went to the Upside Down. The way he would look at you with those brown doe lustful eyes. You would never admit it but you always liked Eddie, you never told him how you felt in fear of ruining your friendship with him. But you were there for him when the police and Jason along with his basket ball goons were after him.
You made Eddie feel safe.
" Eddie" you stared at him wide eyed when he suggest that if he didn't make it that he wanted one last time to feel good. He wanted you to make him feel good. " Me-e?" his cheeks beet red as he looks down at his lap, biting his lip as he nodded.
" Of course, sweetheart. You're the only one who keeps me on my toes. You're the one who always made sure I was okay and that I never stopped smiling. I want it to be you to be my last"
You remembered the way his fingers felt as he plunged his fingers inside of you. The way you moaned when one fingers wasn't enough. The way he smirked and added two more. The way his mouth left marks on you and Steve couldn't stop staring at your neck when you were gearing up the next day.
" Can I cum inside of you, sweets?" he asked as his final request from you. He stared up at you as you bounced on his cock, stopping for a brief moment as you stared at his with your mouth opening and closing. " Eds" you breathed out, his face was twisted as he thrusted his hips up, not holding back as he came inside of you. He filled you up with his cum, slowly regretting it because you didn't answer him.
" I'm-m s-sorry" he went to apologize but you shook your head with your hands on his chest. " I wanted it" you reassured him leaning down to place a soft kiss on his chest. He held you that night until you two had to leave to go with the gang to end it all.
" I'm not prepared to lose you, Munson" you tell him watching as he put on his battle vest. His hands dropped to his side as he looked up at you seeing the glossy look in your eyes and your lips trembling.
Eddie didn't answer you as he brought you into his arms, placing a kiss on your forehead. He wasn't prepared either to do this. He cupped your face with both his hands, his thumbs tracing the adams apple of your cheeks. He wanted to remember this moment as his heart fluttered. Your hands reached up to grasp his wrist and holding him there for a moment.
" We got to go" Steve says as he came in, looking between the two of you. Steve was aware of your feelings for Eddie, but promised to not tell anything to Eddie otherwise as in your own words " I'll use your bat for better purposes".
You were defiantly not prepared when you found him laying in his blood after the Demobats dropped, you rushed to his side screaming that he wasn't going to leave you and everyone else. You told him you weren't done being his friend, having a chance to tell him something and you carried him with Steve to the hospital. You sat by his side, not moving from your seat as you watched him.
" I'm not leaving him" you told Robin as she said you needed to go home for a shower, to get some sleep and get a decent meal in you. But you only cared about when Eddie woke up. You were scared to lose him. You were scared that you won't have enough time to tell him that you love him. That he was your person.
Days went by and then a groan was all your heard as you awake from slumber. Your eyes grew wide as saucers as you rose to your feet to his side, taking his hand in your eyes. Those brown doe eyes turned to look at you. You were the first person he saw when he awoken. The heart monitor picked up at the sight of you and his cheeks beet red knowing you have heard it.
" Eddie" you said his name through your tears. You were so happy he was awake. He was alive. He squeezed your hand lightly as his brown doe eyes shined at you.
You were there by his side.
You remember like it was yesterday that he awoken in the hospital room with you by his side but that all vanished within the months his scars healed, when he adjusted back into the life, being around his friends again, going to practice again and being around you. At least that what Eddie thought as he hanged with the gang but you seem to keep your distance as more months went by.
After clearing his name, Eddie eyes set on a girl he met at the record store when he went to get a new Metallica album. He couldn't stop staring at her. He was in awe of her. You cleared out of his mind and the night the two of you shared before going to Upside down, vanished.
You saw her around town, seeing them at the grocery store holding hands and you heard about her from Dustin who couldn't stop talking about how she made Eddie happy. You weren't going to be in the way of his happiness.
But you were holding your own secret.
You have been running to the bathroom, holding your hair up and when Robin came over one night for movie night, you could not hold the popcorn down. She followed you into the bathroom. She held your hair up and rubbed your back as you threw up.
Sitting against the white bathtub with both your backs to it, she questioned.
" Are you pregnant?" your eyes grew wide at her question but she could be right since the last time you had sex was with Eddie. His last requests before he said he was going to die was to have sex with you. He didn't use a condom. You wanted him to cum inside of you.
" Robs" you gasped sitting up as you turned to look at her wide eyed. Her own eyes got wide, " With who?"
" Eddie, before we went to the Upside Down and defeat Vecna. It was his last requests. He felt like he was going die and asked me to do this one last thing for him."
" Oh Y/N" she embraced you in her arms as silent tears ran down your cheeks.
-
" Hey, Harrington? Have you seen Y/N? Eddie asks as he walked into Family Video with Jade, his girlfriend by his side. Robin stopped stacking the new films on the shelf as she turned to look at him. Steve froze in his spot as he eyed the metal head but he turned to look at Robin for help.
" She's unavailable" Robin answered turning back to what she was doing. She wasn't about to tell him what's been going on with you. Steve and Robin went with you to the doctors to find out you were indeed pregnant. You were going to have a baby. They both promised you that they weren't going to tell anything to Eddie.
" I just want him happy. He deserves it" you tell him.
" What is that suppose to mean?" Eddie asked as he eyed Steve then Robin as the two shared another look that he didn't know what it was. His heart ached that he no longer got to see you anymore, that you stepped aside from his life and you weren't even answering his calls anymore. He missed you.
" Maybe she's on a trip" Jade, his girlfriend mumbled shrugging as she folded her arms across her chest. She has never met you but she has a feeling that you were special to Eddie the way he would talk about you.
" Where would she go?" Eddie looks back at his girlfriend, shaking his head. " That's not like Y/N"
" Leave it, Munson" Steve says as he walks around the counter eyeing him and shaking his head. Eddie eyes the look on Steve's face. Something felt off here and he didn't like it. Why couldn't they tell him where you were.
He frown turning back to the door as he calls to his girlfriend that they had to go. She follows him with a huff in her step.
" That was close" Steve mumbles, only to receive a smack in the back of his head, " You don't think, dingus" Robin gives him a look as she walks to the back.
-
You were indeed avoiding Eddie because you were three months pregnant, carrying his child. You didn't want to come in between his relationship. It mattered that he was more happy than you ever saw him. You were going to raise this baby on your own, but you weren't alone. This baby was going to have a big family.
" Hey Henderon, have you seen Y/N today?" Eddie asks Dustin once he opened his front door seeing Eddie standing there. His van parked behind him. Eddie was growing more worried by the day. He doesn't know what happened to you. You were his best friend, the one person he trusted most out of everyone in his life, the one person he adored with all his heart and yet you were no where to be seen.
Did he do something? Did you hate him all of sudden? Are you sick? Did you leave Hawkins?
" Nope" Dustin says as he was about to close the door when Eddie's foot stopped from closing the door on him. " Come on, Henderson. She's our best friend" Dustin nodded. He has seen you, he has talked to you about it and he knows the real reason Eddie isn't in your life. At first, he was upset that you chose this but he understood and embraced you in his arms. He wants the best for you and if keeping Eddie out of your life is what you wanted, then he was going to do it.
Eddie eyes Dustin seeing him averting his gaze. They all knew something he didn't know and he was tired of all of them hiding it from him.
" I don't know, Eddie" Dustin shrugs. Eddie takes a couple of steps towards him, standing over him as he squinted his eyes at him and leaned in.
" What do you know, Henderson?" There is knocking on the door and Dustin lets out a the breath he was holding that he didn't know. He races to the door and throws it open.
" Lucas! Mike!" he yells happily and throws his hands up. He looks back at Eddie smiling, it was uneasy smile feeling his heart race Mike and Lucas look behind Dustin to see Eddie. Their eyes going wide as their Dungeon Master looks at them closely.
" Eddie" they both greet him with a wave. Eddie frowns as he steps behind Dustin. " Where is Y/N? You better tell you, you little shrimps or the next campaign won't be until two week from now!"
" She's at the cabin! Hopper and El are looking after her!" Dustin says.
" Dustin!" Mike and Lucas yell together. They couldn't believe Dustin would tell him where you were when you didn't want Eddie to find out.
" I know! I know! But she's-" Mike cuts him off, shaking his head. " Eddie should see for himself. You said enough" Dustin says. Eddie pushes past them to his van as he speeds walk.
He slide into the driver side and turns it on, puts down the visor and looks at the polaroid picture of you and him at Lover Lake, he had his arm wrapped around you with a joint in his mouth while you took the picture smiling at the camera.
He loves that picture and you told him you never found it, not knowing it was him that kept it. He has one in his wallet too, a picture of you on Halloween night dressed as an angel, your eyes were closed but it's the smile that makes his heart race. He misses that smile.
You make him feel like no one ever made him feel before. Not even his ex girlfriend Jade who had complaint to him how much he talked about you. Eddie is in love with you, he had hoped that you still want to see him after all this time. He wishes he could go back to the day the last time he saw you, the way you'd look at him one more time before you walked out the door.
He drove off in hopes you'd still want to see him. Even if it's just one more time.
-
" How are you feeling?" El said as she sat down besides you on the couch. Hopper had put the cabin back together, making it a home for you as you told him you wanted to take time to be away from everyone. But of course, Robin and Steve insisted they would never leave you be because being alone was scary. They were there for you from the moment you found out you were pregnant. You were going to have your own little miracle.
" I'm doing better, thank you" you tell her closing your book and placing your hands on your stomach. You were showing already and you couldn't be happier to have this baby. You wanted to be a mother for so long.
She places her hand on yours with a small smile on her lips, " You're going to be a good mom."
" Thank you, sweetheart" you says. The sound of someone's car brought you out of the moment with her. She raises her head up in alert as she stands up to look out the window. She looks back at you then at the van seeing the mane of curls getting out the car.
" Eddie" she says. You freeze in your seat. How did he found out where you were? Who told?You stood up from the couch and looked out the window to see for yourself. Indeed it was Eddie.
His hands shook by his side as he looked up at the cabin, the sun shined down at his making him squint his eyes at it as he approached slowly. He wasn't too sure if you were there but his heart raced when he saw the door creep open and there you were. You stepped out with El behind you with her hand in yours.
His mouth opened and closed like a gaping fish as he stared at you. Your hair grew a bit longer but it's the way your hands were placed on your stomach that caught his attention. He saw that your belly was a little bigger than the last time he saw you.
You took a couple of steps down as you stood inches away from him.
" Hi Eddie" was the only thing you said to him which angered him. He threw his hands up and scrunched up his nose in anger. " Hi Eddie? Hi Eddie is all you can say to me!?" you winced stepping back a bit. El rushed to your side and stood in front of you with her hand towards Eddie in protection. He eyes her then look at you.
" 'm not going to hurt her" he tells her. El looks over to you seeing you nod and points one finger at him as she walks back behind you.
" Where have you been Y/N? You don't answer my calls. I've asked everyone where you have gone. Why? Did I do something?" you looked away from him, it hurt too much you look at him.
" Why are you here Eddie?" you asked, softly. He looks at you in disbelief.
" Are you kidding me?!" He grasp onto his mane of curls before dropping his hands to his side. " Because I care about you! I have been looking for you every where. I was worried that something happened to you but you're here, hiding. Why?"
" Because Eddie, I'm pregnant" your hands placed on your stomach turning to your side to show him that you were showing already. You're going to be a mother.
His eyes grow wide as he swallows the lump in his throat that he was holding and he blinks trying to process what you just said. His face goes pale and he takes a few steps towards you with his hands up like he's asking to touch you.
" You can come and touch" you nodded, once he's almost near you, you grabbed onto his wrist bringing his hands on your stomach. His breath hitches as he stands there processing it. Then it hits him, you were the last person he was with therefore this must be his.
" I-is t-this?" he can't even gets the words out. You knew what he was asking, you nod.
" It's yours" his knees give out from under him as he collapses on the ground placing his head on your stomach that is showing. " Oh Y/N" he says feeling tears prickling his eyes.
" Why didn't you tell me?" he asks through the tears that are flowing down his cheeks as he looks up at you. Your hand reaches out to brush some of his bangs away.
" I wanted you to be happy, Eddie. I knew you started to date someone and I never wanted to get in the way of that or your happiness. It mattered to me, you deserved it and even if I had to step aside to have you out of my life, I did it for you. You're so special Eddie, I wanted you to be happy"
He shook his head as he stood up on his feet, wiping his nose with the back of his sleeve.
" I broke it off with her" he sniffles, " She's not the person I wanted to be with. She wasn't you Y/N" your heart raced at his words, " she didn't make me happy. Every time I got to see you, I got to see you laugh, I got to see you smile, I got to see you around those shrimps, hearing you bother Steve and tease me the way you did, she didn't understand me like you did. She wasn't you. I never wanted anyone else besides you Y/N. Sweetheart, it's always going to be you"
You gasped at his words with your own tears streaming down your cheeks and you couldn't help but wrap your arms around him. He wrapped his arms around you, burying his face in your hair and breathing in your scent.
" You're it for me, Munson" you whisper to him but he hears you as he pulls away cupping your face with both his hands, his brown doe eyes filled with happiness.
-
" Don't touch that, sweetheart. You don't need to carry the heavy stuff. Harrington!" Eddie shouts, taking the box from you instead as he carried inside. Steve and the rest of the gang were helping you move in with Eddie, you were growing bigger by now and showing more. When you and Eddie told Uncle Wayne that the two of you were going to be parents, he was more than happy for you. He had hoped that it was you all along that Eddie would end up with.
Uncle Wayne was even coming over to help a bit later.
" But I want to help" you were about to take another box when someone else took it from you.
" Slow down, mama bear. We got this" Robin says. You place your hands on your bigger pregnant belly, smiling wide. The little one was your miracle bringing you and Eddie together.
Two set of ring clad hands placed on top of yours making you look up seeing the brown doe eyes that you fell in love with.
" Our little Munson is going to get spoiled to the core" he says, leaning down and placing a kiss on top of the belly.
" Munson?" you asked with a small smile on your lips. He nods, " I was hoping I would give you my last name soon."
" Are you asking me to marry you?" He bites his bottom lip, shrugging but smiles.
" Soon, mama bear. Soon" you tug on his vest and pull him as close as you can get him to and place your lips on his. His hands went to your pregnant belly, rubbing his thumb in circles. He couldn't wait to be a dad.
#eddie munson x reader#eddie munson#eddie munson fanfic#imagine eddie munson#eddie munson x you#eddie munson x y/n#eddie munson x female reader#eddie munson x female character#eddie x reader#eddie x you#eddie x y/n#eddie x fem!reader#jewls writes
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09. just something to think about┊ ┊⋆ beyond the stars
italicized text is your thoughts!
Five arduous hours later, your hand crafted dune buggy of a car was up and running. You only prayed that your father's extensive knowledge on cars he attempted to pass on to you was somewhat accurate.
Everyone toppled into the car, up until you yelled out "HOLD IT!" Everyone's heads snapped toward you, a look of concern decorated the men's faces.
"I want shotgun." Everyone let out a sigh of simultaneous relief and annoyance. "What? I made the damn car let me sit up front in it."
"Oh good grief. "
"You're gonna give this old man a heart attack!"
Polnareff got out of the shotgun and squeezed himself into the trunk, the only remaining space. For the first time in a while, an awkward silence settled in the back of the car, each occupant lost in their own thoughts and/or devices.
The hum of the engine seemed louder than usual, filling the void left by the absence of conversation, until Avdol broke the silence.
"So (y/n), tell me about your stand in full. I'm truly curious, especially since it's not aligned with the tarot."
You shifted uncomfortably in your seat, caught off guard by the sudden inquiry. "Uh, sure," you began, trying to gather your thoughts. "I named it after a song I liked. As for its power..."
As you delved into the description of your stand's abilities, Avdol listened intently, nodding along at certain points as he absorbed the information.
"So forgive me for asking, but how did you and Kakyoin end up together?" Avdol's question came out of left field, causing you to nearly choke on your own spit. You whipped your head around to gauge Kakyoin's reaction in the back, only to find him seemingly unfazed. "HA!" Polnareff chuckled from the trunk, enjoying the unexpected turn of events. Both Jotaro and Kakyoin had noise-canceling earbuds for car rides, much to your relief as you mentally thanked whatever divine force prevented Kakyoin from hearing the question.
"Oh, Mr. Avdol, Kakyoin and I aren't a couple," you clarified, trying to mask the discomfort in your voice.
I mean I wouldn't really mind. Even solidification of his feelings for me would be nice.
Avdol seemed taken aback, his brow furrowing in confusion. "Forgive me, I had just assumed over his gaze at you as he complimented Midler earlier on, as well as spending time together on the island."
You chuckled awkwardly, feeling the weight of the misunderstanding hanging in the air. "Yeah, I guess we do spend a bit of time together," you admitted, taking a sip of water to fill the uncomfortable silence that followed.
"I guess its just something to think about."
Mr. Joestar finally had caught up with the conversation after another minute or so. "Wait you and Kakyoin aren't a couple?!" You sighed and facepalmed as Polnareff continued to giggle to himself. You had returned to your devices until you reached your destination
previous chapter // next chapter // masterlist
Mariah is on private so the crusaders don’t see her tweets 🤞🏻 also aw kakyoins finally figuring out his feelings :3
Sorry for the shorter chapter! Tried to make this one a little more social media based, I'm honestly struggling to write out Iggy the Fool and Geb's N'doul. Hopefully it'll be out soon! I have a very busy month, so I wanted to get this chapter out a little earlier than usual in the month. I'm also beginning to edit some of the earlier chapters.
As always, constructive criticism is always appreciated. taglist is open! you can request through message or askbox!
Thank you to everyone on my taglist and all of you who interact, your support means the world <3
taglist: @kerto-p, @pancakesyrupthief, @kakyoinslastcherry, @marvelmayo
#jjba#Kakyoin x reader#beyond the stars#jojo no kimyō na bōken#kakyoin noriaki x reader#jojos bizarre adventure#joseph joestar#jotaro kujo#jjba headcanons#noriaki kakyoin#stardust crusaders#self insert#jjba smau#modern au#Polnareff#muhammad avdol
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