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chaoticharrington · 3 days

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Chapter Three: Queer Panic and Smutty Books

***BEFORE YOU READ ANY FURTHER THERE IS GOING TO BE SEX,BDSM,AND OTHER GENERAL NSFW THINGS IF YOU ARE A MINOR OR A BLANK BLOG OR A BLOG WITH NO AGE PLEASE DO NOT INTERACT,IF I SEE IT, YOU WILL IMMEDIATELY BE BLOCKED! THANKS<3***

Pairing: Professor! Steve Harrington x Best Friends Dad! Eddie Munson x Fem! Reader

Warnings: Angst, Steve being sad, Robin being awkward, Eddie being sexy as hell, kissing, cum eating, blow jobs, oral female receiving, major dirty talk, Dom! Eddie, masterbation, voyerism (if i've missed any lemme know), Eddie and Steve are in their early to mid 40s, reader is in her mid 20s

Summary: Eddie takes you out on a proper date, and you have some words with Steve

Authors Note: YAYYYY THE SMUT HAS COMMENCEDDDD! i'm sorry this took so long to upload, I genuinely was having major writers block writing the smut for some reason, plus I just wanted it to be perfect for you guys! Anyways ENJOY :D 8k words

**Chapter One Chapter Two Chapter Four**

You could get lost in this man’s lips forever, constantly intertwined. He kissed you like a man starved, like his life depended on every kiss. He tasted like whiskey, you didn’t even like whiskey that much, but you couldn’t care less. You want him, you want him in such a primal way that you huff when he finally breaks off the kiss and touches his forehead to yours.

“Slow down there tiger” he breathes as his chest rises harshly up and down trying to catch his breath. You huff in protest, trying and failing to pull him back into a kiss with your arms still around his neck. But Eddie is too strong, he pulls your arms from around his neck and holds your wrists in one of his hands and holds your chin with the other.

“If we’re gonna do this I wanna do it right, kay?”, he says, nuzzling his nose against yours. You look at him confused, unsure of what he means by that, head still clouded with lust and want.

“Do it right?”, you question him. He smirks at you like you’re oblivious and missing something obvious. He runs his thumb over your lips while he explains.

“Well..If we’re going to do this...us.. together. I want to take you out on a proper date, you can pick where we go. But I want to show how you deserve to be treated. That alright with you?” he proclaims.

You bite your lip to hide the smile that was threatening to spill out and nod your head in excitement. This was really happening, with him. With Eddie fucking Munson.

“Good girl”, he coos, looking at your lips again like a lion hunting its prey. And you almost give in, and let him kiss you, touch you, fuck you. But Eddie was right, you wanted to see what it felt like to be treated like a woman, like someone desirable.

So, instead you groan and put your head into his chest, inhaling his scent. He smelled like cigarettes and leather, you breathed in deeper like a woman starved.

“You’re making it really fucking hard here mister”, you groan into his chest. His laugh vibrating his chest making you look up to see the smile on his face, eliciting a smile on your face too.

There he is.. there’s my Eddie... MY Eddie

“I didn’t know being a gentleman was considered a crime nowadays,” he taunted, his eyes twinkling under the light of the kitchen. You roll your eyes.

Oh yeah, he’s still Eddie

“No not that Eds... what you said AFTER that” you said your voice faltering at the end, your cheeks turned a light shade of pink, unable to utter the actual words “Good girl” out loud.

Eddie raises his eyebrows, clearly amused by your sudden shyness after basically eating his face off. “Oooohhh you mean when I called you a good girl?” he asks knowingly.

You look down at Eddies feet, unable to look him in the eyes, your cheeks surely bright red by this point. Eddie’s hand that’s still resting on your chin, forces you to look at him again.

“So easy to fluster, this is gonna be fuunn,” he taunts lowly, giving you a quick kiss on your lips. You whine against his lips indignantly.

The two of you spend the rest of the night entwined on the couch, alternating between kissing each other or how the two of you usually were; just laughing and talking about life.

You felt so free, like part of you that you had left in a cage long ago was starting to flap its wings. At some point the talking and kissing ceased and the both of you fell asleep entangled together on the couch. As you were falling asleep, you genuinely thought that you had never been this comfortable in your life.

You woke up in the middle of the night with a gasp, waking Eddie up too, making him fall off the bed with a thud.

“Gawd princess you gotta warn a fella, I’m not invincible like the young bucks you’ve been with before” he says sleepily, rubbing an ache out of the small of his back.

You giggle at him and look at the time on the clock, 5:04 am, you sigh in relief, still time to sneak back into Violet’s room and get some sleep before she wakes up for work.

“I can’t believe we fell asleep on the couch” you whisper, trying not to make too much noise as you get off the couch. You were young, but no one’s back feels good after sleeping on the couch.

“I was just so comfy, with you laying on me.” Eddie admits.

“Me too,” You reply sheepishly, now fully awake you remember the events that transpired not a few hours ago.

You help Eddie up off the floor, he immediately wraps his arms around you. You hum into his touch, appreciating how natural this already feels to you. He kisses the top of your head and then lifts your head up with both of his hands and kisses your lips firmly.

This time he moans into the kiss, hearing him sets your skin on fire. You squirm out of his arms to look at his face to make sure it was real, that this is really happening.

He looks back at you scanning your face for any doubt but finds none and smiles idly at you.

“I should probably go back to Violet’s room,” you voice.

He does a dramatic frown and pouting noise, before kissing you one last time.

“Just need one more for the road,” he teases, eventually releasing you.

The two of you walk up the stairs together, holding hands the entire way, parting at the top of the stairs to go your separate ways. You feel giddy, never having felt this way before.

You get one last peak at him before he goes into the master bedroom at the other end of the hallway. You touch the doorknob to Violet’s room and turn it slowly. Trying to make as little noise possible in hopes of not waking her up. You slide under the covers soundlessly. Staring up at your best friend’s ceiling.

What the fuck am I doing?

Violet turns over in her sleep and rests her arm over your chest, completely unaware of what transpired between you and her dad. You take a deep breath in, willing yourself to calm down so you can sleep.

Deciding that future you, would think more about this tomorrow, right now you just wanted to bask in the fact that Eddie Munson kissed you.. and now he wants to take you out on a date.

You wake up to the sound of Violets work alarm, you hear groaning next to you as Violet wakes up to turn the alarm off. She sits up and rubs the sleep out of her eyes.

“Good Morning babe,” she says tiredly.

You smile, she looks so much like her dad, her deep brown eyes, her infectious smile, even how her eyes look when she’s just woken up. Little things you never noticed before because you tried so hard not to think about her Eddie. But now you can’t not see it, not after last night.

“Morning,” you mutter, still waking up yourself.

You sit up in bed, you’re exhausted, between the emotional rollercoaster of a day you had yesterday and staying up late with Eddie, it feels like you’ve gotten almost no sleep.

“What’s that?” Violet asks, pointing at you.

“What’s what Vi?” you look at her curiously.

“Is-is that a hickey on your neck?” she asks a bit louder.

You cover your neck faster than a flash of lighting, you were so caught up in the moment with Eddie yesterday you weren’t even thinking about whether or not him kissing and nibbling on your neck would leave marks.

Violet moves your hand away to get a better look at your hickey, you try to fight her off, but she pins your hands with her legs, stuck in her grasp. Your decisions from last night suddenly becoming very very real and very scary. You wanted to tell Violet eventually about you and Eddie. But not right now, not before you’ve even had your first date.

“Damn... He kissed you like that and still rejected you. What a fucking prick, I was so caught up in helping you yesterday I didn’t see this last night” she says still admiring your hickey.

Relief floods your system, Violet assumes you got the hickey from Steve. Why wouldn’t she? She has no reason not to trust you, until now.

“Yeah, that’s why I was so embarrassed” you lied, you fucking hated lying to her, but you’d tell her when you were ready; And the timing just wasn’t right.

“Give me his address so I can kick his ass, better yet give me the name of the Dean so I can get him fired for using you like that,” she retorts.

“No Vi it’s really okay, I’m only going to be in his class for a couple more months and then I won’t have to see him ever again,” you reply.

Violet nods seemingly satisfied with your answer and got off you. You watch her as she gets out of bed and starts to get ready for work, quickly concealing the hickey Eddie gave to you the night before. You really do have the best friend in the entire world.

Even with everything that happened with you and Eddie, your interaction with Steve still really stung. Remembering what happened, felt like a pit was sitting in your stomach. Thinking back on it you don’t blame him for how he reacted, he’s your professor, he could lose his job if the wrong person found out about the two of you.

You do regret how you reacted to him though, you’re not usually one that is quick to anger, but you just felt so rejected by him. Maybe you would apologize to him after class, you hoped he would accept your apology.

Violet lets you borrow some of her clothes and the two of you get ready for the day in her room. You do some light make up, while Violet fixes her hair.

“Fuck where is it?” You see Violet searching around in one of her drawers looking for something.

“Do you mind running to the bathroom for me and seeing if my hairspray is in there?” she asks.

You nod and head out into the hallway, looking at the stairs that you walked up last night hand in hand with Eddie. You can’t help but smile lightly at the memory.

You walk down the hall to the bathroom and go to open the door. But as you reach for the handle it swings open. Coming face to face with a shirtless Eddie, wearing only a towel around his waist.

You lips go into an “O” shape at the sight of him, your panties practically dropping to the basement floor. He smiles widely at you, looking at Violets door and then scooping you up into a kiss. You soften into his grip, glad that he hadn’t changed his mind about the two of you since sleeping.

“Mornin’ m’lady” he smiles into your hair.

“Morning Eds” you say as you kiss him on the cheek because that’s as far as you can reach on your tippy toes. It takes every atom in your body to not jump him right there in broad daylight with Violet in the other room. He beams at the nickname, giving you another swift kiss.

“Did you find it?!” Violet yells from the other room.

Both of your eyes go wide, and Eddies hands drop to his sides at the sound of his daughter. He winks at you before leaving to go to his room. Your head now dizzy after kissing Eddie, you scramble through the bathroom drawers to find what Violet needed, and running back to her room before she went looking for you.

The rest of the morning continuing with business as usual, the three of you eat breakfast together, courtesy of Eddie. He made French toast and bacon, and he put whip cream smiley faces on all the French toast stacks.

Violet announces that she’s spending the following weekend at Quinns, because they were going to have a Lord of The Rings marathon, something they both take very seriously. Violet leaves soon after to go to work, while you and Eddie both take your time finishing your food.

“So next weekend then?” Eddie questions, with a mischievous smile.

You look up at him from your plate, “Can’t wait,” you confess.

He looks down at his food again, pushing his food around his plate with his fork like a child. His eyebrows are knit together like he’s thinking really hard.

“You alright over there old man?” you joke, nudging him with your foot under the table.

He looks up at you like you broke his concentration, “Yeah, I’m good, I just don’t want you to think that I’m trying to keep you a secret or anything, ya know? I know Violet is grown and what I do with my life isn’t really her business anymore, but I just don’t think I’m ready to tell her yet if that’s okay with you?” he explains.

You look at him kindly and nod, feeling the same way. You hoped that when the both of you did eventually tell Violet that she would at least want the both of you to be happy, even if it took her awhile to get used to it.

You finish breakfast shortly after, needing to stop at your apartment before school to grab some books. You grab all your stuff from Violet’s room, and you’re about to put your stuff in the car before he calls out to you.

“Not so fast princess” turning you around and pinning you against the inside of the front door. Cradling your face in his hands, a sensation you were now very familiar with, dipping down and kissing you fiercely.

“I could get used to this” he whispers into your neck, giving a swift peck before grabbing your bookbag and walking you out to your car. You were so shocked you didn’t know what to say, a guy had never carried anything for you before, you could get used to this too.

“Text me later k?” he asks, you had his number in your phone because technically the two of you work together, but up until this point you had been too chicken to ever text for anything other than necessary for work, and maybe a few memes you thought he’d get a kick out of.

You nod and give him one final kiss, addicted to his lips at this point, and then drive off down the road towards your apartment.

Driving away from the safety of Eddie’s house was making the anxiety in your stomach boil up into your throat. You had to see Steve today and you had to apologize. As much as you didn’t want to go to class and face him, you knew it was the right thing to do. If you wanted to keep your job and work civilly alongside him then you had to.

Before you could even think about Steve, you had a huge paper due on Queer Cinema in your Gender Studies class. Gender studies really was one of your favorite classes that was sure to put you in a good mood before you had to face the music.

Professor Buckley spent a majority of the class showing clips from iconic queer films and discussing the importance of representation in media. She was in the middle of taking about a scene she had just played and why its relevant, when a male student raises his hand.

“Plus, he’s really hot.” he said.

The entire class erupts into laughter, and one of the girls you sit behind in your sociology class chimed in.

“Not hotter than Professor Harrington though!” she giggled, a bunch of other girls and guys from the class agree along with her.

Robin rolling her eyes, “This class is supposed to give me hope for humanity, not swooning over some GUY, and dingus isn’t as hot as you all think. Plus, he’s really into TAs so you’re all out of luck” she says nonchalantly, not knowing that your Steve’s TA.

The room went silent, the only sound you’re able to hear is your heart begging to explode from your chest. The few people that you have in your sociology class look at you in horror, Robin covering her hand with her mouth realizing what she had done.

Your feet move without you thinking, standing up and grabbing your things and fleeing the room as fast as they could take you. You were utterly embarrassed with tears threatening to spill from your eyes for a third time in less than 24 hours. You don’t even know where you’re going until you do, and you’re standing outside of Steve’s classroom. You know he likes to get there early to get everything ready for your class.

You open the door and shut it, Steve jumps at the noise. Lips formed in a tight smile once he realizes that it’s you.

“So do you do this with every one of your TAs then?” you say loudly, hoping it would stop him from hearing the quiver in your voice.

He walks carefully over to you, like you’re a wounded animal ready to pounce. You can’t bare to look at his face, so you look at the floor, blinking vigorously willing the tears back into your eyes.

“What are you talking about?” he says carefully.

“I was just made a fool of in Robins class, because one of the girls thinks you’re hot and she said that you only have a thing for TAs, was all this just a fucking game to you Steve? To get me to like you and then make me feel like an idiot?” You spat at him, looking him in the eyes now so he can see the anger behind them.

Steve sighs loudly and nervously runs his fingers through his hair, his eyes look tired, like he didn’t sleep a wink the night before. “No- I, No that’s not even remotely true, Y/N you have to believe me, nothing like this has ever happened before. This is all uncharted territory for me,” he says tiredly.

“How do you expect me to believe you? After rejecting me the way you did last night, after weeks of flirting with me. You were just toying with me all along, weren’t you? I thought you were better than that!” tears now spilling over your cheeks, conceding in your fight to keep them in.

“Y/N I- Fuck I’m so sorry this is all so fucked up. I didn’t expect anything of this to happen, I shouldn’t have kissed you, I should have waited until you weren’t my student anymore, so it was less complicated. But you have to believe me when I say that my feelings for you are genuine, regardless of how messed up it is. None of this should’ve happened. Please just let me explain and it’ll all make sense,” he begs.

You take a deep breath in and wipe the tears from your eyes, “You are right about one thing Steve, this never should have happened” you seethe.

Steves eyes sadden, and he nods in defeat, knowing he’s lost the battle and you along with it.

“Go find yourself another TA to fuck with Steve because I’m done.” you growl.

You turn your heel and walk out of the room, working alongside Steve was no longer an option. If you didn’t need the credit to graduate you would’ve marched into the student center and drop his class right then and there. But your education was more important than some guy.

The rest of the day happens in a blur, unable to concentrate on any of your classes that day. Your mind constantly just floating aimlessly in the air, if someone coughed to hard in your direction you’d probably float away. Going through the motions of the day, kept you safe, steering clear of all thoughts about Steve was the best course of action for the moment.

You did feel conflicted, your feelings continuing to confuse you. Why were you so upset about this? Your thing with Eddie is so good, the best you ever had, so why are you so upset? It’s all so confusing, you’ve never liked one person as much as you like Eddie, and reluctantly Steve too. Yet it felt so right, like it was the most normal thing in the world, for the short while before the whole thing went to shit.

As much as you are furious with Steve, it also made things easier and less confusing. Now you could just focus on Eddie, and that you didn’t mind at all. You could spend every day of forever with him and it still would never be enough. That’s not to say that thoughts of Steve still didn’t pop up in your mind and dreams, he still was your teacher so you still saw him almost every day. The first few days after the initial shock of what Robin had said were awkward, both in class with Steve and Robin.

Robin was relentless with her apologies, apologizing for it every chance she got.

“I’m so sorry, sometimes I just do this thing where I start talking, and then I don’t know what I’m saying until I say it. It’s like I blackout in the middle of taking and then by the time I realize, the damage has already been done and I’ve put my whole foot in my mouth. I’m so sorry,” she rambles anxiously.

“Its fine really, water under the bridge,” you dismiss her kindly.

You really didn’t blame Robin, it’s not like she knew what was going on between you and Steve, she was just trying to make a joke, a bad joke but a joke, nonetheless.

Steve, on the other hand, went completely silent. His classes were filled with less energy than before. He seemed tired, like he stopped sleeping through the night. His skin seemed less shiny, his eyes no longer bright, and his hair always seemed slightly out of place from anxiously running his fingers through it. Steve was a mess.

You almost felt bad, yes he hurt you, but there was a part inside of you that still cared deeply for the man that you once had a connection with. He didn’t try to talk to you anymore or explain himself after the fight that the two of you had. Just radio silence.

You tried your best not to think about it too hard, plus you had an amazing distraction. It had been about a week since you and Eddie first made plans to go out on a date, with that date now fast approaching only a few days from now. And still stumped as to where your first date should be, maybe you were over thinking it, but you wanted it to be perfect. Your head was swirling with so many different ideas. You wanted to do something unique, that would show him parts of you. You weren’t always the best with your words, but if you could show him parts of yourself maybe he’d understand. You were shaken from your thoughts when your phone buzzed a few times in a row.

“hey”

“heyyy”

“I’m bored and you’re cute call me when you’re free x”

You smile widely at your phone; Eddie always knew how to make every day better. You pick up your phone and dial his number.

“Hi handsome,” you beam into your phone.

“Hey baby, how was your day?” you can hear the smile in his voice

“Eh fine, I’d rather be with you,” you confess.

You really wish you could be with Eddie, but instead you were surrounded by your textbooks swamped with the homework you had this week.

“Then come over here, Violets out, and I have the house to myself,” he asks.

“Can’t, homework,” you sigh.

“You can do your homework here, I won’t distract you. Pinky Promise! Only several thousand kisses that’s it!” he begs. You groan into the receiver, and Eddie retorts with a chuckle knowing that he’s wearing you down.

As convincing as Eddies offer was, and it was really convincing. You wanted to have a good time on your date, you needed to get all this work done to give Eddie your full attention, and not worry about school.

“I don’t trust you mister,” you joke.

“Yeah, I wouldn’t either, but you should still come over anyways,” he retorts.

You laugh at his goofy nature, and that alone almost makes you say yes.

“How bout this princess, I’ll come over there. I’ll sit and read a book or something, and be a good boy while you do your work,” he suggests.

You ponder this over in your head for a minute but who are you kidding, how could you possibly say no to him? Plus, you really only have to revise two papers, shouldn’t take too long.

“Alright alright you win, come on over stinky,” you say with a roll of your eyes.

“Be over soon pretty girl,” he says slyly.

How could you ever say no to Eddie fucking Munson.

You appreciate that Eddie didn’t make it too hard for you to concentrate when he finally showed up at your apartment. He did as he said he would, sitting next to you on your bed, one had rubbing circles on your back and the other holding a book that he was trying to finish.

His touch soothing you, as you rub stress out of your own temples. When you could, sneaking glances at the very beautiful man sitting right next to you. He was dressed down today, hair in a low bun, in a pair of sweatpants and an old Iron Maiden T shirt. He could wear a brown paper bag and he’d still be one of the sexiest men you’ve ever seen. It made the time between today and the date that much more excruciating, Eddie had been very adamant that there would be no funny business prior to the date, which is honestly a surprising amount of self-control for him. It showed he meant business, which you respected. But it was also driving you to the brink of insanity, cursing into the abyss that the universe would give you the prettiest man in the world and not be able to jump his bones. It was a cruel world indeed.

Your insatiable urges aside you could get used to this. Him being here, even if you weren’t talking, his presence soothed and ache inside of you. You also loved that Eddie loves books almost as much as you did, you wouldn’t think by just looking at him. But he had his nose in a book quite often, whether that’s a new DnD manual, researching for a new campaign, or just reading random sci-fi books.

And that’s when it hits you, you know where the two of you are going to go for your date. You look up from your computer screen and look at Eddie. His brows lightly scrunched together, probably reading a thrilling part in his book. He looks at you from the corner of his eye.

“Take a picture it’ll last longer gorgeous. I’m trying to be good here and you’re distracting me,” he taunts, as he flips a page in his book very dramatically.

You roll your eyes at him, if he wasn’t so cute, he’d be the biggest pain in your ass.

“Alright then I guess you just won’t get to know where we go on our date then, fine by me!” you hint.

Then you’re jumped by a mass of dark brown curls and you’re tackled onto the bed.

“Tell me tell me tell me!!!!” he says in between kisses to your cheeks and neck. Giggling uncontrollably, you concede.

“Fine fine, you win! Me and you. Saturday. Coffee shop and bookstore. 12 pm don’t be late Munson.” You reveal with a light kiss to Eddies bottom lip.

Expecting Eddie to continue his shenanigans, his eyes soften a little and he dips down to give you a firm kiss on your lips.

“You’re perfect, ya know that?” he says sincerely.

You roll your eyes at him. He holds your chin in place, the way that makes your breath hitch.

“Nuh uh, don’t be mean to my girl,” he coos.

You blush and kiss him back with the same ferocity, your homework can wait. You spend the rest of the night snuggled up against Eddie while he read his book to you in between the thousands of kisses he promised.

The day the date actually came around you were a fucking mess, you woke up super early, trying to figure out the right outfit to wear. Not that you thought it would matter to Eddie all that much, but it mattered to you. You were something of a perfectionist and you wanted this date to go well.

You decide on a comfy green sweater, a pair of leggings, and black platform combat boots, and your winter jacket. It was getting colder outside, and you were not used to the Indiana winters, you swear you had never seen so much snow in your life.

You were just doing your finishing touches in the mirror when you heard a knock on the door. You can’t contain the smile that spreads across your face as you basically leap to the door in excitement. You swing the door open, and you are face to face with a excited smile that matched yours.

“Hi princess,” he greets you, giving you a light kiss on your lips.

“Hey Eddie,” you smile up at him, even in your platform boots, this man was so much taller than you. It made your heart flutter and your body tingle.

“Ready to go?” he says seductively leaving a more passionate kiss onto your lips, making your legs buckle slightly. The kiss makes you want to abandon the date all together and take him right here on your couch. The week since your first kiss had been grueling, and you wanted more than kisses.

“Yeah, let’s go,” you beam up at him leaving a kiss on his jaw. He moans and you know he’s thinking the same thing as you.

In his car the energy is electrified and nervous, Eddies knee bouncing wildly in the driver’s seat while you fiddle with your hands. Hanging out at his house or your apartment was one thing but going out in public together. On a date, completely different. You just try to remind yourself that it’s still Eddie, the same goof that he was the day before and the day before that.

You go to the local coffee shop in town, he grabs a black coffee which you make fun of him for, making the tension between the two of you, ease. And you get a chai tea, which Eddie makes fun of you for.

“You know that chai is tea in Hindi right? So, you basically just ordered “tea tea”? he snickers.

“Yeah well at least I didn’t order a steaming hot cup of bitter water old man,” you retort as you grab your drinks from the barista.

You hand him his coffee and he pulls you in to leave a kiss on your forehead. The people in front of you look at you inquisitively, and that’s when you realize that the two of you probably look a little odd. A 45ish year-old man and a 25 year-old woman together. Age was never a thing that either of you ever thought too much about in all honesty. Besides the “old man” jabs that you gave him occasionally. Regardless of the age difference between the two of you, you had so much in common that it never seemed that noticeable. You give the couple in front of you a glare and head out the door with Eddie hand in hand.

Any bookstore is the best place on earth, any book you could ever dream of stocked on the shelves, endless possibilities. Plus, the new book smell, is just addicting. Eddie watched in amusement as you picked up every other book reading the backs of them, completely immersed in your own little world. Following along behind you holding your hand or wrapping his arm around your waist, reading the backs of books that look interesting to him. That is until you get to the DnD section, and he becomes the biggest nerd you ever met and it makes you swoon even harder if possible.

After almost looking at every section in the store, the two of you stand in front of the romance section. You had decided before the date that you were going to steer clear from this section to avoid any teasing from Eddie because you basically read porn. Not just porn, porn that would make a grown man clutch his pearls.

But the spicy section had been updated since you had been there last, and you remembered that one of your favorite authors had dropped a new book. You gasp lightly and Eddie looks at you inquisitively.

You walk briskly over to the section of steamy books, searching for the book you were looking for.

“I didn’t really peg you as a girl who likes romance books, I’m intrigued,” he taunts lightly.

“There’s a lot you don’t know about me Munson” you say, still looking for the right book. Instead, you find another smutty book that you’ve been meaning to read, one about an older guy owning a BDSM club that a bunch of your online friends were gushing about. You pull that off the shelf and accept the fact that you’re going to have to ask an employee for help to find the book you were looking for.

“Do you mind holding this for me for a sec? I just need to ask an employee for help,” you ask.

Eddie’s eyebrow is upturned in curiosity but takes the book from your hands as you go off to look for an employee. The book was in the “New Releases” section and that’s why you couldn’t find it.

When you finally make your way back to Eddie you look at him in horror, he has the book you asked him to hold for you, open to the middle of the book, smirking like a devil in disguise. He looks up at you before you can defend yourself.

“Princess, you like this stuff? Seems a little intense for a pretty little thing like you,” he says tauntingly under his breath so none of the other patrons can hear you.

You let out an anxious squeal and try to grab the book from Eddies hands, but he’s too quick. He dangles the book easily over your head still reading from the pages.

Your heart is beating so fast threatening to drop into your stomach. What if he thought you were weird and didn’t want to be with you anymore? What if you fucked all of this up before you even started?

“Give it back Eddie I mean it,” you whine, still trying to reach the book in his hand.

“Then tell me you like this kind of stuff, and ill give you the book back right now,” he says still holding the book out of your reach. He leans in really close, his eyes dark with lust. Caging you in against a bookshelf and puts his lips up to your ear.

“Tell me, you get off on reading this stuff, tell me you read this late at night right before bed with your hand down your pants and the book is all yours,” he whispers before backing away to a normal distance, leaving the rest of the customers none the wiser.

You shiver when his breath touches your ear, you have to bite your lip as to not whine out in the middle of the bookstore. If you were needy before the date, nothing compared to how you felt right now. You were an omega about to go into heat, and the only thing that was going to put out the fire brewing in you was Eddie. Your legs threatening to give out below you, you take a deep breath to steady yourself before responding. Eddie patiently awaiting your response, taunting you with his one hand cupped behind his ear.

“I do,” you say meekly.

He gets closer to you, flaunting his size against your frame.

“You do what pretty girl, come on use your words” he coos, caressing you cheek with his thumb.

This time you let a whimper escape and a smile the size of Texas spread across Eddies face. You clear your throat and wet your lips.

“I touch myself when I read them,” you whisper loud enough for only Eddie to hear.

“Good girl baby,” he praises you, rewarding you with a kiss on your cheek.

He grabs the other book from your hands, leading the two of you to the checkout line. You felt like you were floating, you had never been this turned on in your life and Eddie barely touched you.

Then there was the dilemma, that Eddie refused to let you pay for your own books despite your countless protests. You pouted lightly next to him while he paid for your two book and one for himself.

“Don’t worry babycakes, I’ll pay for your porn” he teased with a wink as the two of you walked out of the store. He helped you into his truck, grabbing your waist tightly, making you gasp.

The car ride back to Eddie’s house was intense, both of you feeling the consequences of the little stunt Eddie pulled in the bookstore. Your chest heaving up and down heavily, Eddie holding on to your thigh with one of his hands.

“Do you trust me?” Eddie asks seriously, once the two of you get inside, he helps you shrug off your winter jacket hanging it up for you.

You nod quickly with no hesitation, only admiration in your eyes. You needed this man more than you needed air; did he really expect you to say no? And with final confirmation Eddie takes your hand and leads you up to his bedroom. Your eyes fixating slightly on Violet’s room before forcing her out of your head and focusing on the man in front of you.

He ushers you in, immediately tackling you into a heated kiss, pushing you closer and closer to the edge of his bed until you feel it with the backs of your knees. You inch yourself farther into the middle of his bed pulling him closer, looking up at him through your eyelashes, Eddies eyes are dark looking at you like he’s the hunter and you are his prey. Eddie follows suit incasing your body with his, enveloping your lips again.

But with more urgency, like the first time you kissed in the kitchen. You open yourself up guiding his body between your legs. He thanks you by grinding his bulge against your sweet spot making you gasp. Eddie takes that as an open invitation to slide his tongue into your mouth. Your lips clash together feverously, a mix of lips, tongue, and teeth. You pull back taking his bottom lip in between your teeth. Biting hard enough to elicit a hiss from his mouth.

“Fuckkk,” he groans loudly.

Changing pace, he dips down and starts sucking on your pulse point, sending shivers down your body. Your hips moving on their own rolling into his, the friction making you both moan. You could feel him leaving little bruises all over your neck, your mind too empty to care, having only one thing on your mind now. Him.

You become very aware that Eddie was wearing entirely too much clothing, tugging at the bottom of his shirt, he takes the hint and lifts up to exposed to pale ink decorated skin under his T-shirt. You were in awe of him, grabbing and kissing anywhere and everywhere, wanting to taste every single part of him. His arms were almost completely covered in ink, and most of his chest was covered too. You made a mental note to spend an entire day kissing every single tattoo on his body, but that day was not today.

Eddie wanting the same from you, he starts to pull up the bottom of your shirt, looking into your eyes for the okay. Seeing no protest, he takes it the rest of the way off. If his eyes could bulge out of his head, they probably would have with how wide his eyes got.

“Jesus Christ” he groans as he re-attaches his lips to yours, only to pull apart slowly making his way down your chest, leaving bruising kisses along your collar bone and the swell of your breasts that were peaking out from your bra. Getting impatient he peels the cups of your bra down to expose your nipples to him and incasing one in his mouth. Swirling the bud with his tongue, groaning into your chest. Each pinch and lick sending shock waves through your body.

Eddie stops what he’s doing and looks up at you, “Show me baby,” Eddie says while leaving little kisses down your stomach. You look at him slightly confused, unsure what he means. A small smirk falls on his lips as he uses his hands to reach up and take your left breast in his hand. Your nipple brushing up against his fingers. Enticing a hissing noise from you.

“Show me how you touch yourself when you’re reading your books, show me how you like it.” he says leaving more kisses on your breasts as his fingers continue to play with your nipple.

Getting impatient, Eddie grabs the hem of your leggings and panties, pulling them up and off your body. Pushing your knees apart exposing your dripping center to him, guiding your hand to your slit.

Then his touch is gone, you look to see his figure rummaging next to the bed in the bag from the bookstore. He pulls out the book he was reading and taunting you with. Flipping open to a page that seemed to peak the older man’s interest, pushing it into your hand.

It was your turn to become speechless, looking down at the words on the page he picked out for you. Your cheeks turn a bright shade of pink. His eyes dark but still warm and encouraging, still your Eddie. You bite your lip and nod back at him.

You look back to the words on the page, moving your hand slowly up and down your slit. Gathering the wetness from your center and swirling it around your aching bud. You see Eddie in the corner of your eye, palming himself through his pants, watching intently where your hand and legs meet.

Breathy moans spilling from your mouth while you touch yourself, your mind clouding in pleasure. If you weren’t so turned on, the wet sounds that echoed around the room would have embarrassed you.

“So fuckin naughty, you look so good touching your pretty little cunt like that,” he says breathily, pupils blown.

His words only edging you on, you moan loudly as you sink a finger inside your entrance, making your back lift off the bed in ecstasy, book completely discarded. You feel Eddie remove your hand from your core, you whine in protest. Enveloping you hand in his mouth, lapping at your juices, eyes rolling to the back of his head.

“Spit,” he commands, holding his hand out in front of your mouth. You gather the saliva in your mouth and spit it into his hand.

“Good girl” he praises, rubbing your spit onto your slit, making you gasp loudly. His fingers quickly replaced by his wanting tongue, teasing your entrance, and nudging his perfect nose against your clit.

“OH FUCK EDDIE!” you cry out.

Your words encouraging him to buckle down, swirling and flicking his tongue on your clit making you see stars. You buck your hips up to meet his tongue, chasing your release.

“Shit, you taste so good baby, could drown in this fucking pussy,” he babbles, re-attaching his lips to your bundle of nerves.

You can feel yourself getting close already, your entrance pulsing in anticipation. You grab a fist full of his curls in desperation. Eliciting a deep groan from him that vibrates through you.

“S-so good, so fucking good Eds, holy shit” you say with another roll of your hips. Then without warning Eddie sticks one of his fingers inside of you, finding a spot inside that you could never reach yourself.

“Fuck Eddie I-im gonna” you breathe.

“Come on sweet thing, cum for me” he purrs into your core. Keeping his pace with his tongue on your clit, adding another finger inside you. The feeling of fullness finally sending you over the edge.

You throw your head back in a silent scream, the coil inside you finally snapping sending wave after wave of pleasure through your body. Eddie leaving sloppy kisses on your inner thighs brings you back into your body.

“Still with me princess? You did so good f’me,” he murmurs into your skin.

You look at him hazily, he looked so pretty between your thighs. His strong arms incasing each thigh, his lips and chin glistening with your release. You reach for him, wanting to feel his lips on yours once again. He obliges you, tasting the remnants of your release on his slips, sighing against his mouth contently.

You roll him over so he’s on his back, leaving kisses against his stomach down to his clothed cock, making him buck up into you. You strip him quickly from his pants and boxers, impatient, you want to make him feel as good as he made you.

His cock is bigger than you expected, not too thick but long, a little patch of curly dark brown hair at the base. You situate yourself between his legs and look up at him through your eyes.

Eddie was trying to be patient, but you could see the desperation in his eyes. You start swirling your tongue around the tip, collecting his precum in your mouth. You groan deeply at the slightly salty taste, encasing the rest of your mouth around the tip. You hear Eddie curse under his breath, his hands cup the hair falling around your face so he can see you better.

You take this opportunity to lock eyes with him, gathering all the saliva in your mouth and spitting sloppily onto his cock, working it from the tip to the shaft.

“Jesus, fuck! Such a dirty fucking mouth,” he babbled. His words making you clench around nothing, Eddie was more vocal than any other partner you’d ever been with but you liked knowing that you were making him feel good.

You go back to working your mouth down on his cock, forcing it lower and lower until the hairs at the base of his shaft were tickling your nose and lips. You gag slightly around his cock, throat constricting around the tip, making him thrust farther down your throat.

“Shit, fuck I’m sorry baby, you just look so fucking good with your mouth full of my cock, couldn’t help myself,” he sputters. You hum as you remove his cock from your mouth leaving opened mouth kisses all the way down the shaft and onto his balls. You hear his breath hitch when you reach his balls. You spend time down there licking and sucking.

Taking your time lightly sucking each ball into your mouth and swirling your tongue around them. Truth be told you loved sucking and licking balls and you could tell Eddie did too by his reaction.

“Fuck, Fuck yes, you like that? You like sucking my balls? Good fucking girl, such a good fucking girl, shit” he cries out, tightening the grip he has on your hair. The new hold he had on your hair leaving a delightful sting on your scalp and that made your eyes roll back. You pull of his shaft with a pop , sloppily licking up and down his member.

“Fuck my face Eddie, please, fill my throat” you plead with your mouth still full of his length

“Don’t have to fuckin ask me twice sweetheart,” he says grabbing another fist full of your hair. You give up control and let him lower your head back down on his cock. His pace starts out slow at first seeing what you can handle. You can take most of his cock, and the rest that you can take you use your hand to stroke it, making sure every part of him feels good. He continues to shower you with praises, all of it becoming to much, you start to feel your own wetness start to drip down your thighs.

You can feel his cock twitching in your mouth has his pace picks up, slamming his cock in your mouth with reckless abandon. Making you gag every time his tip hit the back of your throat, Eddie swearing obscenities left and right.

His pace getting sloppy as he comes closer to cumming, and with one final thrust into your mouth he releases his load down your throat. You both moan in unison at the act. Smooshing your face down into the curls at the base for good measure before pushing off to straddle his waist.

Opening up your mouth to show him his cum gathered inside your mouth, Eddies eyes rolling back farther than you thought humanly possible. Looking back at you with hungry eyes, he holds your face with his one hand, cupping your cheeks. And with his other hand dipping two of his fingers into your mouth, fucking his cum farther down your throat.

“Swallow for me pretty girl,” he commands, your body tingling to obey his every thought, his eyes watching you like a hawk.

You swallow the rest of his cum left on your tongue, and stick your tongue out to show him the job done.

“Good girl, such a good girl,” he praises again, kissing you fiercely on the lips. Then you collapse onto the bed next him contently.

He grabs hold of your waist forcing you to cuddle close, he leaves kisses in your hair and your run circles across his chest with your fingers. Your mind completely empty of everything that wasn’t Eddie Munson.

That was until your phone went off, buzzing next to the bed. You ignore it, deciding that whatever it was, could wait. That was until it buzzed again, and again, and again. Finally you climb over Eddie and reach for your phone, seeing a couple missed calls from Violet.

You call her back without even thinking, there’s no way she could know that you were naked in her dads bed, no way.

“Hey Vi, you okay?” you say sleepily, worn out from your previous activities.

“They’re cheating me, they’re fucking cheating on me, I can’t fucking believe it!” Violet wails into the phone.

“Woah woah, slow down and start from the beginning babe what’s going on?” you say, concern in your voice. Eddie now sitting up wanting to know what was happening.

Violet goes onto explain that her and Quinn have each other’s phone passwords, and that she went to go look up something on his phone, and they had changed their phone password and had a text message from an unsaved number on their phone.

“Fuck,” you mutter into the phone.

“I need you to come over, I need you right now, i'm on my way back from Quinn's house now,” she pleads with you.

“I’ll be there as soon I can babe, don’t worry we will figure this out” you reassure her, feeling guilty for lying to her again.

You hang up the phone and look at Eddie, you fill him in on whats going on. Eddie wanting to go over to Quinn's house right now and give them a piece of his mind, but you talk him out of it until you know exactly what’s going on.

“Sorry we gotta cut this short,” you chuckle, leaning back into Eddies exposed chest.

“S’alright, I’d rather know that Vi’s okay. You’re a good friend Y/N, Vi and I are so lucky to have you." You blush at his words, he leans down and leaves kisses along your hair line and neck.

The two of you dress, you cover up your very obvious hickeys from Eddie, and part your separate ways. Just in time for the two of you to share one final kiss in the living room before the door opens.

***Reblogs/comments are appreciated***

Tag List! **If you want to be added to the tag list just lemme know, just need to be 18+**

@chaoticmunsons @sweetblinginrose @tlclick73 @paleidiot @frogtape @too-efn-old-to-be-here @peaches-roses-sins @micheledawn1975 @untitled74745 @hellv1ra @cozyquinn

#eddie munson #steve harrington #steve harrington smut #steddie x reader #steddie #eddie munson smut #eddie munson x reader #steve harrington x reader x eddie munson #older! steve harrington #older steve harrington #older eddie munson #stranger things #steve harrington x reader #older!eddie munson

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carlos-in-glasses · 5 hours

Note

The Notorious C-I-G

💌 🍄 📚 🏜️ 🐝 (you don’t have to answer this one if you don’t want, I already know it’s me 🤭)

Lemon...right?

💌 ⇢ how many unread emails do you have right now?

Darn you for making me look! 248!

🍄 ⇢ share a head canon for one of your favourite ships or pairings

Answered this one here and here but here is another: After Andrea met TK and really started opening up her heart and mind to Carlos being gay and in love with another man, she began seeking out queer art, books, shows, so she could learn more about the community her son is a part of. Carlos recommends and lends her things! I touch on this in my fic Wrestling Angels.

📚 ⇢ what’s the last thing you wrote down in your notes app?

I didn't have to say anything. He knew I was shaking.

🏜️ ⇢ what’s your favourite type of comment to receive on your work?

I love it when an aspect or overall theme leads a reader to discuss something and it gets a bit more personal and chatty. Fire Island and Sweet Dreams and Flying Machines led to comments in which people shared their memories and feelings about the AIDS crisis and about 9/11 respectively. I guess it makes it seem like the fic has a bit more 'social impact' in a way. It's quite amazing when that happens.

🐝 ⇢ tag your biggest supporter(s) and say one nice thing about them

Haha @lemonlyman-dotcom... right? You have been so supportive and friendly from the beginning - the beginning being pre-tumblr when you were leaving such lovely comments on my fics. When I saw you'd set up your tumblr I was so happy to be able to interact with you on here too. And now look!

And @thisbuildinghasfeelings - you were one of the first people I spoke to on here and your kindness and enthusiasm not just towards my writing is just incredible and I feel very lucky you're here.

@heartstringsduet your comment on Afterglow of a Supernova basically changed my life in that it made me instantly more confident in my writing, like it represented a turning point in how I felt about it, and you've always been in my corner. And you've made art for my fics???!!!

@goodways you have been so lovely about my fics I feel like I can never thank you enough and your comments always make me laugh and make me think. Your feedback always means the world to me.

@herefortarlos your enthusiasm for my fics, all fics and this fandom is a thing of beauty and so inspiring.

@welcometololaland you were one of the first people to ever tag me in anything and I remember it vividly because I couldn't believe it haha. Your comments are always so hilarious and make me feel like I've done something right, and without you I wouldn't have written I Was Thinking About Your Mouth, so I am forever grateful for that and for you being such a good sounding board when I complain about work!

@cold-blooded-jelly-doughnut mate, you are divine and the fact that you spend any time beta'ing my fics when they are still kinda hot messes is wild to me. Thank you as well for your kindness and generosity!

@im-overstimulated-and-im-sad you are a delight and your comments are like a balm to my soul!

@reyesstrand Also from really early on you were leaving such encouraging comments on my fics and including me in WIP tags and things and I'm so grateful and forever awestruck.

@paperstorm I always cherish in particular how incredible you were about Fire Island (and When Soulmates Swim recently!), and how you helped so much in my hour of need when the whole scary situation around Afterglow of a Supernova happened. Thank you!

There are other people too of course but I worry I'm banging on a bit too much like I'm at the Oscars and the music is going to play over me talking so I just want to wrap up by saying thank you to everyone who has read my fics and commented and left kudos - I've said it before and I'll say it again, it really does blow me away that you're giving your precious free time to my stories in that way.

#ask #cig answers #writers truth & dare ask game

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guardian-angle22 · 1 year

Text

TK/Carlos + Touch

↳ 4.18 In Sickness and In Health

#911 lone star #911lsedit #tk/carlos + touch #tk strand #carlos reyes #tarlos #its the forehead touch for me #but also more than that its the way carlos clutches onto the back of TK's neck during it #carlos is always grabbing tk by the back of the neck but this time its just purely because carlos needs him close #needs reassurance that tk's not going anywhere. he wont leave him like his dad did #my gifs #(I'm getting these sad ones out of the way so I can spend forever on the wedding sets lmao)#queue it up #episode: s04e18 in sickness and in health

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churipu · 4 months

Text

𐙚 THREE TIMES NANAMI MADE YOU CRY ⋆ ˚｡

featuring. nanami kento x reader

warning. referral to the reader as 'wife'

note. i just felt so mellow today — because a lot of sad nanami edits have been passing by in my fyp and i'm about to have a mental breakdown because of it, when i catch gege >:( a lil note, i cried writing this bcs i miss nanami so much help

✴ ONE : WHEN HE PROPOSED TO YOU

it took him a short time to realize that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with you — he sees you cooking breakfast at the crack of dawn just for him before he goes to work, and he realizes that, yes, you were the one for him.

"do you want to marry me?"

your head turned to him slowly, eyes following just a few seconds after and you blinked, "i'm sorry, what?" you ask him.

nanami's eyes raised up to meet yours, "do you want to marry me?" he repeats his question calmly.

it was a day like every other — the both of you sitting on the couch, the television on yet nobody's paying attention to it. nanami has his eyes on the magazine in his grasp, and you were on your phone, scrolling through social media.

"yeah, of course i do."

nanami takes out a velvet colored box from his pocket and opens it up, you stared at him in confusion; wondering if this was a joke or not, is he actually proposing to you while you were in your pjs? but that actually didn't bother you — it was the fact he is proposing to you.

"marry me." he murmurs out softly, taking the beautiful ring out of its place, waiting for your acknowledgement.

your tears began flowing out and it took nanami by surprise, "sweetheart, i'm sorry. was it too sudden? you don't have to—" you shook your head at him, wiping your tears away.

"i'm just so . . . happy, ken."

that was the first time he made you cry.

✴ TWO : HIS WEDDING VOWS

your wedding was a simple ceremony. it was filled with fun and laughter, your loved people were there — his loved people were there, gojo and his students were there. it was just, a one fine day, really.

when it comes to the delivering of vows, traditionally; the groom goes first.

"y/n, i'm not good with my words, but you know me better than anyone else, so i assume you know that as well. we met five years ago when i bought a casse-croûte in a bakery you worked in; and if you had told me then that we'd be standing here and i'd be spending the rest of my life with you, maybe i wouldn't believe in you and told you that you were saying nonsense.

first and foremost, i would never thought that a one stop shop in a bakery would lead me to the love of my life — that day, i decided to stop by the bakery you worked in because my usual place was closed for the day, when i think about that, i get so overwhelmed; if my usual shop had opened that very day, maybe you would be standing here with another man, another man who is not me.

y/n, you are the most curious person i have ever met in my life. and i am pretty sure you are asking yourself now, what is kento thinking of right now? the answer is you. i am thinking about you now, later, and forever. from the first day you asked me if i liked casse-croûte, i have not once stopped thinking about you.

i was never a person who sought for relationship or thought of it a lot in the past, but when you came into my life. i began thinking of my future with you, making our own happy family, having kids, traveling the world, all of that. the moment i saw you take your time to wake up before me to cook me breakfast before i go to work, i knew i just had to make you my wife. i want to spend the rest of my life with you.

you love me and completed me in ways i do not know existed, and my love — i promise you, that from here onwards, i will continue to love you and every piece of you and for who you are yet to become. i promise to be your husband, your best friend, your partner in crime as you always like to name it, and your number one supporter, also as you name it.

above all, i promise to show you how lucky i am to have you in my life. i cannot wait to start a new chapter in my life with you, i love you."

it was safe to say that everyone in the room was crying, including you (and gojo, who had to be escorted out by megumi because the male was straight up sobbing loudly).

✴ THREE : WHEN HE DIED

shibuya. october 31, 2018. god, how much you dreaded every single thing that happened in there — just the thought of october coming after that year made your stomach churn in sadness.

the day a lot of people lost their life, including nanami.

nanami is a strong man, and you know so. you believed in him, never did you once stopped believing in your husband; but the whole time nanami was fighting for his and everyone's life in shibuya, you were back at home with your few months old son.

"daddy is going to be okay, yeah? he's gonna be back soon," you cooed to your son despite the rising wariness.

but no, nanami never came back.

the one to break the news was no other than itadori yuuji himself, the sole witness to your husband's passing — he knocked on your door, beaten up, although his wounds were tended to. you knew the shibuya incident scarred the young boy with something that couldn't be closed off now or maybe ever.

"he's not coming back, is he?" you ask the teen with a sad smile.

itadori broke down on your porch that day. and you, nanami's wife was the one comforting him, after all, watching someone you care die in front of you was traumatizing. but itadori blamed himself for nanami's death — he was baffled when you pulled him into a tight hug, "it's my fault y/n-san! i killed him. he's dead because of me."

as much as nanami doesn't display his affection to itadori, you were a witness to how nanami really feels towards the young boy. telling you how he wishes your son would grow up to be just like itadori, bubbly and energetic. nanami cares about itadori like the boy was his own — although failing to show it.

"did he . . . did he say anything before he . . ?"

itadori cried in your embrace, "he . . . said he was sorry. for not coming back. and that he loves you and your son so much . . ." itadori was barely taking breaths in, he was hyperventilating in your arms, "he said he was sorry that he won't be able to accompany you to malaysia."

"okay." you didn't cry as itadori was breaking the news to you, you couldn't.

nanami's death quieted you — you didn't cry the first week, still not believing he was actually gone. finding yourself sitting on the couch, waiting for the male to open the door and to call out for you, "y/n, i'm home."

but it never happened. nanami was really gone. he's really dead.

grief is such an odd feeling, you relied on itadori to look after your son for the first two weeks as you didn't find yourself in the right mind to be capable of taking care of your own flesh and blood. a day before your son was going back into your care — you went grocery shopping, to buy things both nanami and you used to buy.

it was a mistake on your part not to use a basket or a trolley, putting all the stuff on the cashier counter was hard work. and as the baby food you put on top of the pile slipped through your fingers and dropped onto the floor, splattering the contents everywhere, you can't help but to let a few stray tears out.

your silent sobs turning into a full blown breakdown in the middle of a grocery shop as everything began coming in, a reality check.

that nanami was no longer going to be there with you again, you couldn't feel him anymore, you couldn't hear him anymore, you couldn't smell his cologne anymore.

but the world doesn't stop for that, it will keep going and you had to go on with your life without him.

#jujutsu kaisen #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jjk #jujutsu kaisen angst #jjk angst #nanami kento #nanami kento x reader #nanami kento angst #kento nanami x you #kento nanami #nanami #jujutsu kaisen nanami #kento x reader #i miss him so bad u guys :(#nanamin

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woso-dreamzzz · 3 months

Text

Broken

Wonze x Child!Reader

Summary: You break your arm

There's not really any other way Lucy can describe you but depressed.

With your arm stuck in a cast, you're severely limited in what you can do and you just kind of trudge after Keira.

The atmosphere in the house has been a bit frosty since the accident and Lucy knows it's her fault. She's the one that wasn't watching you on the climbing frame at the park until after the nasty tumble that had your arm snapping when you tried to put it out to stop your fall.

Keira's right to be pissed off at her but your own bad moods have noticeably worsened everything.

You cry a lot more now and you keep whacking your cast on things that wouldn't usually cause you pain.

"How's baby bear?" Georgia asks at breakfast one morning.

"Sad," Lucy replies sullenly," She can't leave Keira's side for even a minute. I tried to give her a bath yesterday when Kei was on the phone but she just cried the whole time. Her arm's been bothering her too."

Georgia makes a sympathetic noise, head turning to where you and Keira have just walked in.

It's not an uncommon sight now to see you in Keira's arms. You don't want to leave them almost as much as Keira doesn't want you to leave them.

You sniffle a little as Keira sits you in your usual seat between her and Lucy and you stiffly place your casted arm onto the table. What makes it worse, is that it's on your dominant hand so you're struggling a little bit to do everyday things like feeding yourself and drawing.

Lucy loads up your fork and shovels food into your mouth. Your appetite has been affected by your mood so it's always hit and miss how much you're actually going to eat for breakfast so she's hoping to get as much down you as possible before your mood finally catches up with you.

You turn away when you've had enough, pushing your food away and looking over at Keira.

"Bear," Lucy says softly," Don't you want to eat some more? You haven't eaten much."

"No, thank you," You say sullenly, moving to climb into Keira's lap, resting your head on her chest and curling yourself into her body.

Keira sighs as she rises from the table. "I'm going to see if Leah can cheer her up. I'll be back in second."

"Jesus," Georgia says as she and Lucy watch Keira go," You're right. That kid is so depressed. She's had that cast on for at least a week now. You'd think she'd have adapted by now."

"She will," Lucy replies, suddenly feeling defensive," She's getting there. It won't be long now. She's getting better."

"I heard she had to miss her friend's birthday party," Georgia says," Keira said she'd been looking forward to it."

Lucy sighs, pushing her food around her plate. "Yeah. It was the day after she broke her arm. Bear was pretty bummed at missing it."

"I can imagine. Being so sad doesn't suit her."

"Hopefully, Leah can snap her out of it."

No matter what Lucy's hoping Leah will do, it doesn't really seem to be working.

Auntie Leah's sitting with Beth from Arsenal and she's trying to get you to detach from Mummy but you refuse.

"Come on, bear!" Auntie Leah laughs," Don't you want to see this cute video I've got?"

You think for a moment. You really want to watch it but you don't want to let go of Mummy at all. Letting go of something was how you got hurt in the first place and Mummy's more sturdier than the climbing frame and you feel safer holding her tight.

She would never drop you.

She's your Mummy bear and you're her baby bear.

She's big and warm and safe and you press yourself further into her like you could melt into her skin and stay there forever.

"How about some chocolate?" Auntie Leah asks," You can hang out in my room with G and I and we can eat chocolate until our tummies hurt."

Normally you would agree with that. You love spending time eating chocolate with Auntie Leah and G but you don't really want to be away from Mummy and Mum. It's bad enough that Mum's across the room from you but you can see her so you know that she's safe.

"We can even watch Brother Bear!"

That nearly breaks you. Brother Bear is your favourite movie ever but Mummy and Mum don't really like screen time so you only get to watch it if you've been very good.

But, still, you'll give up Brother Bear if it means you can stay with Mummy and Mum.

You shake your head. "Want Mum," You whisper against Mummy's skin.

She sighs, resting her head on yours. "Okay, bear," She says, defeated," Let's get Mum."

When you get to Mum, she's whispering to Georgia, who smiles at you before scampering off to Auntie Leah.

"What are you two planning?" Mummy asks suspiciously as she sits in the seat that used to be yours.

"Nothing bad," Mum says quickly before her hand runs over the back of your head and you turn to look at her," How are you feeling, bear?"

"Itchy." You hold your casted arm out to her.

Mum's gotten good at scratching your cast itches.

"Itchy?" She echoes," Well, we can't have that!" She takes a small wooden spoon out of her pocket and starts tapping at the cast. The doctors told her that she's not allowed to let you put stuff down it in case it causes infections so hopefully the vibrations will knock out your itchiness.

It does for the most part and you flop your head back against Mummy when Mum is done.

"Thank you, Mum," You say.

"Of course, bear."

Lucy watches as G and Leah wander out of the room and awaits the text she knows is coming.

You get a bit restless doing nothing and Keira gently runs her hand through your hair to settle you against her again.

"Come on," Lucy says when she finally gets the text," We've got a little surprise, bear."

Your brow furrows in confusion but you don't put up a fight as you're taken back up to the bedrooms. You bypass Mummy and Mum's room in favour of going to Auntie Leah and G's.

Both of them are waiting for you.

Their beds have been pushed together to create a mega bed and their sheets have been made into a little nest with space for all five of you to curl up in.

There's bags of your favourite snacks and your favourite chocolate milk. The title screen of Brother Bear is paused.

You sniffle.

"Oh, no!" G says," Don't cry!"

"These are happy tears," Mum says, wiping them from your cheeks," Isn't that right, bear?"

You nod. "Happy tears."

"Are you ready, bear?" Mummy asks," We're going to have nice chill day with G and Auntie Leah."

"Ready."

#woso x reader #wonze x reader #keira walsh x reader #keira walsh #lucy bronze x reader #lucy bronze #woso community #woso fanfics #woso imagine #woso

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lancermylove · 2 months

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Not Good Enough (HC)

Fandom: Obey Me

Pairing: Demon brothers x gn!Reader

Warning: Reader with low self-esteem.

Prompt: You don't think you are good enough for him.

———————————————

Lucifer found you alone in your bedroom. One look, and he could tell something was very wrong. "Why so pensive, my dear? You seem troubled. You know you can confide in me. What's on your mind?"

You hesitated to tell him the truth, not knowing how he would react to your words. "It's just... sometimes I feel like I'm not good enough for you. You're so accomplished and strong, and I'm just..."

"You are just what?" He asked, crossing his arms. But when you didn't reply, he continued in a stern voice; however, his expression was soft. "Let me tell you, it's your humanity, your kindness, and your unwavering spirit that I find truly captivating. You challenge, inspire, and bring light into my life in ways you can't imagine. You are more than enough, and it's high time you see yourself through my eyes."

Lucifer sat down beside you and took your hands. He met your gaze and spoke in a warm voice. "I vow to you, on my honor, that I will spend an eternity proving just how extraordinary you are to me. You are not just 'good enough'; you are everything I could ever desire."

The Avatar of Pride pressed his lips to the back of your hand before whispering, "Never doubt my feelings for you, my dear. You are my chosen one, now and forever."

Mammon walked into your room unannounced and saw you sitting on the bed, staring down at your lap. "Oi, what's with the long face? You didn't lose any Grimm, did ya?"

It's nothing, Mammon... Just some personal stuff."

"I'm your boyfriend, y'know, so your personal stuff is my personal stuff. Come on, spill it. 'Sides, I'm the Great Mammon. I can handle it!"

You weren't sure if he would be upset with you for thinking you were not good enough, but you decided to come clean. "I just... sometimes feel like I'm not special enough for you. I'm just... too ordinary."

"What?! That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard! Listen here, ya got it all backward. I'm Mammon the Great. I wouldn't hang around someone who ain't worth my time, got it?"

His words drew a smile to your lips. "So, you think I'm... worth your time?"

"Yeah, but that ain't a big deal or anything. Look, I feel like a total loser sometimes. But you...you make those times less crappy. You're important to me, y'know? And if anyone makes ya feel less, I'll make 'em pay for it."

Mammon plopped on the empty spot beside you and wrapped his right arm around your shoulders. "You're amazin', so don't ya forget it."

As you leaned against his shoulder, Mammon nuzzled the top of your head.

Levi saw you sitting in the corner of your room and froze in his tracks. He knew well what was going on in your mind but decided to make handle the matter with a touch of lightheartedness. "(Y/n), did someone spoil the latest episode of your favorite anime for you?"

Without looking at him, you quietly asked. "Levi, do you ever feel like... like you're not good enough for someone? That's how I feel about being with you."

Levi didn't expect to hear that, and for a moment, he didn't know how to react. "I mean, I'm just a shut-in otaku. If anyone's not worthy, it's me, not you. You're like the special event SSR card, and I'm just a common R card."

His references made you chuckle slightly, but you also disagreed with him. "You're not a common R card."

"(Y/n), how do I," Levi started to say but struggled to get his words out. He couldn't figure out how to put his feelings into genuine words. "(Y/n), in my eyes, you're the ultimate co-op partner. I wouldn't want to face any boss battles with you...s-something like that..."

His cheeks turned red, and Levi struggled to make eye contact with you as he continued in a shy voice. "So, um, I promise to be your player two, always supporting you. And... maybe we can help each other level up in confidence and stuff, 'kay? So, don't look so sad..."

Satan saw you in the library room of the House of Lamentation, and while your eyes were on the pages of the book in your hand, it was evident you were not reading. "You seemed trouble, (y/n). Would you accept my offer if I say I will lend you an ear?"

"Satan, how are you so smart...handsome..and amazing?" You asked without moving your eyes from the book.

Initially, the Avatar of Wrath thought you were complimenting him and blushed. But it didn't take him long to realize there was something more to your statement, so he remained silent, hoping you would share your true feelings with him.

"It makes me wonder if I'm good enough to be with you."

And there it was—something Satan hoped you wouldn't say as a follow-up statement: "Your worth isn't defined by how much you know or how you handle your emotions. It's your curiosity, love, and the way you view the world that I find invaluable. You are someone irreplaceable in my life."

When you moved your gaze to him, Satan's expression softened. He walked close to the sofa chair you sat in and leaned down to place a kiss atop your head. "I'm here to remind you of your significance. Not as a scholar to a student but as one soul to another. If I lose you, I will lose myself."

Asmo saw you sitting on your bed with slumped shoulders and figured you needed a pep talk. "Why does my precious diamond look so down? Did something say something mean?"

Shifting your eyes to him, you studied his flawless face, silky hair, perfect body, and radiating beauty. You lowered your head again, feeling worse than before. "I...can't even match up to you."

"Match up to me? What are you talking about?"

"You are just so dazzling, charming, beautiful...and perfect. I am nothing..."

Asmo was stunned at the way you perceived yourself and felt like shaking your by your shoulders. Taking a deep breath, he sighed. "Oh, sweetie, why do you think such things? They are absolutely not true!"

The Avatar of Lust walked up to you, held your hands, and helped you up. He cupped your cheeks and smiled sweetly. "You must see yourself as I see you: utterly irresistible and enchanting. There's no need to match up to anyone because you shine so brightly on your own."

He gently pressed his lips to your forehead and whispered. "Let's have a little pampering session, shall we? I'll show you just how breathtaking you truly are."

When Beel saw you pushing around your food with your fork, he knew something was wrong. Putting his fork down, he looked at you, concerned. "(Y/n), you're not eating much. Is something wrong?"

"Beel, you are so strong, caring, loveable, and...deserve better. You deserve someone better than me."

Your words nearly made his heart stop as just the thought of losing you sent a shock through his heart. "(Y/n), don't say that. I like sharing meals with you...hearing you laugh...and hugging you. When I'm with you, I don't feel hungry for food. I feel hungry for your love. You fill up a part of me that I didn't even know was empty."

His words made you blush, and before you could argue or make another statement to hurt his heart, Beel stood up and walked to your side of the table. Scooping you up in his arms, he held you close to him and nuzzled the side of your face.

"You make me happy just by being you. I don't want you to change because you're perfect to me. I'll always be here for you - to protect and support you, just like I know you're here for me."

Belphie saw you lying on your stomach on the bed with your face turned to the side. He studied you for a moment before walking close to your bed. "You look more tired than me for once. What's bothering you?"

"Belphie, do you ever think I am not interesting or special?" You mumbled after a moment of silence.

"Hmm, that's a strange thing to worry about. Why do you ask?" He asked, raising his eyebrow. When you didn't reply, he sighed and sat down on your mattress. "You know, I don't spend my time with just anyone. If I'm with you, it's because there's something about you that's different, something peaceful."

Opening your eyes, you looked at him with tears in your eyes. His gaze softened, and Belphie rested his hand on your head. "You shine brighter than any star I know. You are interesting and special. If you need me to say this nonstop, I will say it...and mean it every time."

Belphie lay down next to you and wrapped his arm around you, giving you a soft smile. "With you, I always feel like I'm exactly where I need to be. You're enough, more than enough for me. Remember that."

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➣ Obey Me Masterlist: [1][2][3] ➣ Main Masterlist

➣ Buy me a Ko-fi? ➣ Commission: Open ➣ HC/Scenario Requests: Closed || Quick Ask Requests: Closed || GIF Requests: Closed

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mera-mera-simp · 8 months

Text

OP Character's Love Languages

Characters: Luffy, Zoro, Sanji, Nami, Ussop, Ace and Law

Content Warning: fluff. Some angst (Sanji, Ace and Law)

Pt. 2

Luffy:

Absolutely physical touch. There is no debate on this.

He can and will cling to you with no hesitation. Man doesn't know personal space<3

But you and most of the Strawhats don't mind it. It's sweet.

Though you do have to gently remind him sometimes that not everybody he knows likes it when he does that</3

Definitely a words of affirmation kinda guy too.

This one isn't as often but he loves making you smile.

Constantly telling you how funny you are and how much he loves you. He is a sweet baby even if he's a menace sometimes<3

Sometimes, you'll get a combo of the two. He'll wrap his arms around a multitude of times and tell you all kinds of sweet things just to see you smile.

Gift. Giving.

Please give this sweet baby gifts it will make his eyes light up like stars and he'll treasure it forever.

You could get him the silliest thing and he'll be so happy. You'll have his stretchy arms wrapped around you and multiple kisses on your face while he's yelling 'thank you' multiple times within an instant.

Zoro:

Quality time.

He's not much of a touchy guy and he's not the greatest with words.

But he actively seeks you out on the Sunny. He just wants to be by you<3

He's not great at words, so just being by you is enough for him

He will make you take naps with him<3

He likes to sit by you when he's cleaning his swords.

Please just chill with him while he trains. He likes being in your presence.

This goes both ways low-key. He knows that you love him so he doesn't need to be reminded. And as mentioned earlier, he's not really a touchy feely guy.

So just spending time with you is enough.

Bro loves you so much, he'll chill by you while you're talking to the other strawhats. He doesn't need to involved in the conversation. He'll just sit by you (he'll take a nap depending on where you are on the ship)

Maybe a small bit of gift giving?

Only if he finds it useful though probably.

Get him stuff to clean his swords with and he'll be happy.

Send him over the moon with alcohol.

But definitely quality time for the most part.

Dude just wants to be by you<3

Sanji:

Is it absurd to say that it's everything? (Because I feel like it is but thats cause I'm in love with him and delulu)

He'll match to whatever your love language is babes<3

Gift giving? He'll spoil you

Quality time? Just hang out with him in the kitchen while he cooks

Words of affirmation? He'll tell you a thousand times a day that he loves you

Acts of service? Say the word and your wish is his command.

Physical touch? He'll be all over you.

He'll match your energy.

Sometimes you'll get the buy 1 get 4 free combo.

He bends over backwards for you.

And it's all super sweet. He'll cook for you, buy you some cute trinkets that you like, spend time with you while you're doing something, tell you all kinds of romantic things, and he'll hold your hand at all times

Bro is such a sweet guy<3

Please tell him that you love him. Reassure him for the love of god

He didn't get it a lot as a kid after Sola died so whenever you do, he really appreciates it <3 (Sanji my sad chef, my beloved I love him so much)

Nami:

Look me in the eye and tell me that her loves languages aren't gift giving and acts of service.

She'll be over the moon if you buy her stuff

Specially if it's expensive <3

Bake something for her, Sanji will help you if you ask him to!

She'll give you a bunch of kisses for it. It's her way of say thank you.

You're the only one who doesn't owe her a single berri. Cause why would she charge the love of her life?

She gets a little jealous super easily though. She'll pout at you. Just laugh at her and tell her she's cute. Kiss her cheek, forehead or tip of her nose if you want to make her melt.

Sometimes she'll indulge in physical touch, only for you though.

She'll hold your hand when strolling through a town on a new island. And then persuade you to buy something she likes by acting cute.

She's super appreciative if you do though

She'll hug you and kiss you with a big grin on her face

It makes her feel important

She likes to make you feel important too. She'll actually go out of her way to buy you stuff sometimes. She teases about an interest fee but if you actually try to pay it, it's the only time she refuses

Ussop:

Words of affirmation

My guy needs a lot of reassurance so he appreciates it

Tell him that he's brave and he'll be absolutely smitten

He also likes physical touch

He'll hold you as he tells his stories

Talk to him about the world. You both love being out on the Grandline and seeing how big the world is. It's one your 'late night can't sleep' topics.

Hangout on the deck of the Sunny and look at stars together. He'll hold your hand and point out the constellations to you. (He learned them from Robin, he just wants to impress you<3)

If you hug him from behind randomly, he'll swoon.

He'll let you stay like that too. He thinks it's sweet. He'll just casually talk to you about his day so far.

He's constantly telling you how much he loves you.

You make him feel strong and brave so of course he's going to return the favor.

Overall, Ussop is just a sweet guy. He likes holding your hand and making you smile<3

Ace:

Oh my beloved sad himbo

Please hold him and reassure him.

He's definitely a physical touch and words of affirmation kinda guy too.

Trace the freckles on his face (he'll melt in your arms with a blushing face if you call them mini constellations<3)

He likes to hold you yeah but please hold him. He needs it.

He likes to be in your embrace but he'll only let you do it when you guys aren't in sight of the crew, he's afraid that Marco and Thatch will tease him for a life time. (They wouldn't)

Pepper his face in kisses

This poor cowboy is so sad please tell him all of the things you love about him

Tell him he's worth everything in the world (Ace was the One Piece</3\hj)

Whisper sweet nothings to him as you guys try to fall asleep at night, that's when his head tries to attack him the most.

He appreciates it all and he'll definitely return the favor.

He constantly has you wrapped in his arms.

He'll kiss the top of your head and nuzzle his face into your hair.

He'll purposely act stupid just to see you laugh.

Please just make him happy. He is so sad

He will deny though.

"Me? Sad? Blasphemy."

Law:

Another quality time kinda guy

He doesn't like physical touch

Or words of affirmation

Please don't openly say you love him or promise him anything, the last person who did both those things died almost immediately after (he's traumatized </3)

Just spend some time with him, that's all he asks. You don't have to say anything he just wants to he by you.

He doesn't know how to accept gifts so that's also kinda out of the question

If you do something for him though, he'll be appreciative. In his own way

Just quality time for the most part.

Just sit by him while he reads or looks over some notes he has.

He's comforted by your presence, you make him happy even if he never outwardly shows it

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sphireath-wisp · 9 months

Text

#You and Me - Always Forever

Sypnosis: What was one of the moments that made them decide they wanted to marry you and vice versa?

Warnings: Might fall in love with the reader, no actual proposals (just the moments that spark that thought, that feeling that you'd want to spend a lifetime with that person), not proofread, messy interchanging grammar

Note: Bachira and Rin version is coming up soon!!

Featuring: Seishiro Nagi, Yoichi Isagi x GN! Reader

Seishiro Nagi - What made him want to marry you?

"Still can't get past that level?" You settle down next to him on the soft mattress of your bed. He whines - a 'yes' in his dictionary - and tugs on the hem of your shirt to pull you closer. The pillow originally cuddled nicely on his lap is replaced by you, you were softer than any lame pillow anyway.

His arms are wrapped comfortably around your waist whilst his hands are occupied by his phone - otherwise, he would've had his hands all over you. Nagi's head relaxes on your shoulder, fingers brushing your hair aside. You hear the tapping of his thumbs against the screen progressively get louder with the occasional soft grunts and sighs of frustration.

You chuckle, "Nagi, I'm meeting up with an old friend soon, let me go." You notice his grip on his phone tightens. Instead of listening to you, he does the opposite, holding you even closer. You huff. It always boiled down to this when it came to leaving his side - you would tell him your very valid reason for leaving, he would pout and cry, and you would have to resort to emergency measures.

Pressing a delicate kiss on his cheek, you quickly worm your way out of his arms when he isn't focused. "I'll be back later!" or so you exclaimed, creaking the door shut behind you. By the time Nagi has registered your exit, he realizes he lost in his game - you now owe him a good 30 minutes of your undivided attention and, for good measure, 10 kisses.

The night after you left was a complete blur, he was whining and complaining to Reo for who knows how long, but you never showed up. Whenever he did make the effort to drag his feet out of the bedroom, he saw you happily chatting with your friend - "I'll wait a little longer," he would mumble, not wanting to disturb your little reunion.

Before he realized it, it was already the following morning, your body hurled up to his. "I don't remember getting in bed," Nagi mutters, voice lowered into a whisper so as to not disturb your sleep. He thinks it's a bit strange - you had recently been having trouble sleeping and he always made sure you got into bed before he did... perhaps he just forgot after all.

"Ah, right." He slowly stands up, making his way to his computer as he begins to recollect the events of last night. From the little bits of last night that he could recall, he remembers calling Reo on his computer (ahem, Discord).

Much to his surprise, Reo had sent him... quite a long video that he recorded from last night. From the thumbnail, Nagi noted that Reo had screen-recorded the call he was on with Nagi.

He plops back down on the bed, wanting to be close to you as he sits through this - hopefully - entertaining video.

"(Name) left," That monotone voice, familiar white and fluffy hair - it was him in the video. "They owe me 30 minutes and 10 kisses." Nagi hears a familiar chuckle from the video as Reo begins.

"Ah, how sad. First, you can't beat that level and now your dearest (Name) isn't paying attention to you, I almost feel bad for you." Reo teases and Nagi pouts as he watches the video, perfectly mirroring the expression he wore last night.

"It's okay... I can wait."

"Stop lying to yourself, Nagi." Reo takes notice of Nagi's newfound restlessness.

"I hope (Name)..." Nagi yawns before continuing, "...hope they come back soon." He lays his arms down on the table, head resting on his right bicep whilst fidgeting with his phone. "This game's rigged."

"Lost again?" Reo chuckles. "Don't worry, I'll make sure to send (Name) all of your complaints. They'll be sure to shower you in kisses the next morning."

"Thanks, Reo, you're the best." Nagi corrects himself after pausing. "Second-best."

"Ouch, even I can't beat (Name)."

The video had dragged on with small tidbits of funny moments to keep Nagi watching, but it was mainly a compilation of him grumbling. However, it started getting interesting halfway through.

"Right, Nagi?" The silence is loud except for the sound of gunshots - likely from the game. "Nagi?" Reo repeats with a concerned expression on his face. He connects the dots. Nagi had fallen asleep. "Pfft," He bites his lip to hold back his laughter, chest bubbling.

"Alright then, night-" Just as Reo was about to end the call, he heard the door open while calling out Nagi's name. "Oh," As if you were duplicating Reo, you refrained from laughing too much and pressed a kiss on his forehead.

Reo turns off his camera, observing you with bated breath. "Did he really wait for me?" You scratch the back of your neck, helping him sit upright in the chair before somehow dragging his 190cm body to bed. It was a smart choice for Reo to mute himself, you would have heard him bursting out laughing otherwise.

"Sweet dreams, love." You couldn't help but be generous tonight, giving Nagi's cheek a soft kiss. Rubbing your eyes, you were about to grab his phone from the table before stopping mid-action.

"...This game has a saving function, right?" You conveniently take a seat right in front of the computer, a perfect view of that puzzled expression plastered on your face. "Where would it be? Wait, shit, I didn't mean to start a round."

You purse your lips, eyebrows furrowing as you randomly press buttons. You genuinely looked distressed, aware that he'd be upset if he lost progress. Multiple sighs of frustration escaped you, completely lost. But, despite your frustration, you would rather sit there and struggle than see Nagi disheartened the next day.

Eventually, you pull out your own phone with your other hand and presumably search for how to save the game. "Ohh, okay, I think I get it."

Eyes locked onto Nagi's phone, you breathed a sigh of relief when you finally figured it out. "Okay then, phew... Better save multiple times." You stood up and tiptoed your way to bed, hearing one last giggle from you before the video ended.

Nagi's left stunned - he doesn't know what to say. His parted lips slowly curve into a smile, one hand cupping your cheek. Careful not to wake you from your slumber, he lays back down in bed, gaze melting. His thumb gently grazes your lips, hand traveling to your hair before pulling you closer to him.

"...You still owe me those kisses." He buries his face into your shoulder, a content sigh leaving him.

You - What made you want to marry him?

You have... low expectations when it comes to Nagi. He's a minimal-effort type of guy. Because of the little motivation he had, because of how painfully forgetful he could be, he did everything in the little power he had to remember the little things about you.

Your birthday is his password, your favorite candy and flower is his home screen so he'll always remember to get you something special on his way home from practice, and your oh-so enchanting picture on his lock screen. He's enamored, absolutely smitten when it comes to you - perhaps that's why he asked you this.

"(Name), why do people get married? Documents... preparing for it... isn't a hassle?" Nagi snuggles his cheek against your thigh, rolling his body to lie on his back at looking up at you and the tree you both were relaxing under. Your soft chuckles escalate to loud bursts of laughter, gently pinching his cheek.

"Nagi, honey," You notice a slight smile when you call him honey, "it's for love."

You see Nagi scratch his head, fingers running through his messy white locks. "We love each other, so why aren't we married?"

"People who get married want to take their relationship a step further, move on from just boyfriend and girlfriend. You know what I mean?"

Nagi definitely did not get it. "What's the point in that?"

You purse your lips in thought, gaze shifting upwards as you stare at the sky. "It's saying that you're willing to dedicate everything to them. Spend your time with them until you both are old, promise to never leave their side, and build your future with them." Dipping your chin, you let go of his cheek and target his ear this time. "It's nothing small or pointless."

Nagi thinks for a moment and you assume he finally understood. It certainly did give you a good shock and laugh when he asked such a question, you were almost worried he was crazy enough to ask you to marry him.

"I wanna spend the rest of my life with you... Can we get married?"

Perhaps you spoke too soon. Blush spreads across your cheeks and progresses to the tip of your ears. Clearing your throat and looking elsewhere, you speak, "Nagi... not so soon."

"So when?"

"When we're older."

"How old?" Damn, he was really determined.

"When both of us are ready, to move in together, to wake up and sleep next to each other every single day."

"...Are you not ready?" Gray doe eyes stare at you, eyebrows furrowing slightly. He speaks as if he was completely serious and ready, his mind set on spending the rest of his years with you.

As much as you didn't want to disappoint him, you needed to be truthful. Your eyes met his. "No, I'm not ready, not yet."

"Okay..." Just as you expected, he sighed and backed down for a moment. Your heart ached a little seeing his reaction, but you didn't have time to say anything before he returned to his previous insistence. "What ring would you want?"

"Nagi! I told you I'm not ready. There's no need to rush." Honestly speaking, you found it a teeny bit cute, but it'd be plain impulsive to rush into marriage.

"Just tell me."

You place a hand on your chin, humming as you think about it. You weren't exactly prepared to answer such a question, so the first thing that came to your mind spilled out of your mouth like word vomit."...A diamond ring?"

"Okay." Nagi pulls out his phone, changing his lock screen to a diamond ring - Was he really serious about this? His hand holds yours, fingers caressing your ring finger specifically. "I'll wait for as long as you want me to."

You recognized that look in his eye anywhere. You had seen it when he played soccer and scored an unbelievable goal so many times. Nagi had already decided and, because you knew him so well, you were aware you couldn't stop him.

Your mouth opens at first to retort and, hopefully, knock some sense into him. However, you hold your tongue when he closes his eyes. "Sleepy, already?"

"Mmhm, you're the best pillow I could ever ask for."

"Is that why you want to marry me?" You scoff and shake your head - a big contrast to that warm smile spreading on your face.

"It's a good bonus."

Well, you could always chide him another time. You'll have all the time in the world when you're sleeping in the same bed with him and wishing him a good night or when you're celebrating anniversaries together. You'll have more than enough time after you marry him.

Yoichi Isagi - What made him want to marry you?

You take hold of Isagi's wrist, preventing him from knocking on the door of his parent's home. "Wait wait wait, I'm not ready." You take deep breaths in a poor attempt to calm down, blaming the wind for making you shiver uncontrollably when Isagi questions you - even though it wasn't even cold that night.

"Ahhh," You let go of Isagi's wrist and pace back and forth in front of the doorstep. You scratch your head, messing up the hairdo you spent so long trying to perfect at home. "What if your parents don't like me? What if they don't approve? What will happen to us?"

Isagi grabs your hand firmly, stopping you from mindlessly circling around the doorstep. He runs his fingers through your hair, taming any loose strands of hair and brushing through the tangles. "Don't worry," he squeezes your hand, "I'm here for you."

"Plus, why wouldn't they like you?" You feel a thumb caress the knuckles of your hand. "I'm sure they'll love you. Come on, let's knock on the door together."

"Not to mention, we shouldn't stay out here that long. I don't want you catching a cold in this weather." Isagi plays along with your lame excuse, neither teasing nor making fun of you for it.

Isagi was so, so sure he'd be the one reassuring you the whole night, holding your hand under the table, finishing your sentences when you stumble on your words - he was prepared and ready to be your knight in shining armor. But, why has the table turned a whole 180 degrees on him? He's the one blushing profusely, sweat clinging to his forehead as he hears his mother's question.

"Would you like to see Isagi's baby pictures?" The question was repeating in his head like a broken record, a bad dream he couldn't escape by pinching himself awake. What turned this bad dream into a full-on nightmare was when you nodded without a single atom of hesitation. Despite how much he tugged on your sleeve, you continued to smile oh-so innocently.

"Alright, let me go get them." Isagi's mother slowly stands up and you rush to her side, pulling her chair behind and helping her up. "Take your time," you remind her softly, letting go of her arms when you are sure she can stand on her own two feet. Isagi widens his eyes when he sees how patient you are with his mother.

How sly of you, trying to make him forget about his baby pictures that you happily - on the verge of eagerly - agreed to see.

"Babe!" Isagi hisses at you through clenched teeth once you sit back down next to him, his cheeks flushed. "What? You already saw my baby pictures. I think I deserve to see yours." You had begun to get comfortable around his parents and that distraught version of you that he witnessed just a while ago vanished into thin air.

"Ah, there it is!" Isagi's mother returns to the table, a dusty book in her hand. She opens its pages, revealing pictures of Isagi in his formative years inside.

"This is when he first entered kindergarten," You nod while his mother points, unable to hold back your giggles of delight. Isagi's hand almost crumples the pages of the book as he hurriedly flips to the next page.

"Oh! This is when you won your first spelling bee." Isagi's mother hums. "You were so proud of yourself back then."

"Awh, is this when he took his first steps?" You begin to join in the teasing, shifting your chair closer to his mom's.

"Mhm, isn't he cute?"

"Oh, oh! Are these his class photos?"

"He's building a sandcastle in the picture, we were at the beach that day."

Isagi could barely hear the full conversation, his mind going blank at some parts.

At this point, you could feel the steam escaping Isagi as he heats up beyond his melting point. He places one hand on your thigh, burying his face into your shoulder in absolute embarrassment. This conversation would actually make him evaporate.

You pat his head, comforting him. "Ma'am, I think we could continue this another time. Isagi needs some time to cool off." You rub circles on his back with your palm, hearing a relieved sigh escape him.

Man, you really know how to read him.

You - What made you want to marry him?

Recently, you noticed your beloved boyfriend develop a new habit. Whenever you sleep over at his house, which has been happening more often because of a pair project you both have together (that requires a ridiculous amount of discussion and cooperation), you have recently begun taking mental note of his little habits.

One of the most noteworthy examples is the fact that he has this notebook that he wrote in once in a while. Sometimes, he would write in it multiple times a day. Other times, he wouldn't write in it for a full day and maybe even leave it to collect dust for the following day as well.

In the beginning, you made the assumption that it was just a journal to rant or perhaps a diary. However, the fact that he doesn't write in it every day proves your diary theory wrong. So, you went with the former - even he would have things he needs to get off his chest.

...did he not trust you enough to confide in you? He knows you're there for him, right? Is he going through something?

It made you sickly worried, but what could you do? It would be just plain rude to go through his notebook. No matter how much you wanted to confirm it for yourself, no matter how much your curiosity killed you over and over again when you caught sight of the wind flipping the book open, you did not want to and did not have the right to invade his privacy.

That night, he sat by his desk and twirled the pen in his hand, biting the end of the pen occasionally. Tapping his shoulder at a safe distance to alert him, you observe him as he turns his head to you.

That comically soft gaze of his alone almost made you forget your words, your train of thought coming to a sudden halt. You clear your throat, "What are you writing?" Your glances alternate between him, the room, and the book (though you tried avoiding looking at the book for too long).

To your surprise, he didn't immediately shut the book, dragging another chair next to him for you. Isagi openly shows it to you, "Do you want any cats in the future? Dogs? Pets in general?" He nods when you respond, writing down your reply in the notebook.

You analyze the pages silently, at a loss of words when you really absorbed what he was writing. From your allergies to what you didn't like in food, from what he had in common with you to activities you both enjoyed, it was sweet and insane at the same time.

You couldn't believe you were just overthinking a while ago. Relief washed over you.

"Should we have a cactus, like Nagi does? Should we name the cactus too?" Isagi laughs and you follow suit, concurring with the idea.

Isagi was almost the optimistic type, looking forward to the future. It was adorable seeing him plan so much in advance. It conveyed to you how excited he was to be with you, how euphoric it sounded to spend the time he had now and the time he would have in the future with you - and he wasn't alone, you felt the exact same way.

Even though both of you knew how life could be, life never goes according to plan no matter how much you try to make it, it didn't matter. The both of you will figure things out together, just like you've always done.

"Isagi, why are you writing all of this down?"

"Okay, I know that this will sound cheesy but-" Isagi places his hand on yours, interlocking fingers with you. "It's my promise to you."

"Promise?" You blink.

"It's physical proof that I mean it when I say I'll always be with you. I'm not here for the short term, I'm going to build a life with you, (Name)." Oh no, he's left you breathless again.

"That is cheesy."

"Right?"

"But, it's just like you." You kiss his cheek. "I wouldn't change anything about you.

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zzprompto · 2 months

Text

☆ with you, eternally

astarion x male reader [he / him]

sypnosis: (spawn) astarion decides to step out into the sun after his partner passes away so they could be together forever. (meant to be viewed as romantic)

the lowercase is intentional !

- warnings: character death

it had been a while since all the mindflayers and the tadpoles and the brain. actually, it had been years. decades had already come and go since then, and astarion couldn't tell that so long had already passed.

yet, so many things reminded him that time was going past.

[name] was aging, gracefully in fact. astarion loved all the wrinkles that adorned his lover's skin, or the greys that streaked [name]'s hair. those small details helped remind astarion that the world was still progressing, that he wasn't stuck in one place dreading for his end like when he was with cazador. though, it did feel like he was stuck in time, but that was because he was with [name]. he always felt as if he was stuck in slow motion with him, never wanting the days, weeks, months and years to come to an end.

but, as time progressed, [name]'s health started to decline. it wasn't anytning at first, he was perfectly fine. yet, when the wrinkles started growing deeper and when he'd get ill more often astarion knew something was up. he knew that his time with [name] wasn't going to last long. it wasn't going to in the first place anyway. astarion was cursed with immortality, whilst [name] was blessed with mortality.

astarion looked over at his lover, watching as their gaze was focused on the window outside. it was getting harder for [name] to do simple tasks on his own such as walking, eating and other mundane tasks that he had brushed past during his younger years. of course, astarion helped [name] every step of the way. he wanted to spend every moment with [name], even if it could be their last one together.

[name] looked over at astarion, noticing that someone's gaze was on him. "i don't understand why you still sit and stare at me.. i'm far too old for you to still find me attractive." [name] laughed lightheartedly. he then started coughing, making astarion's eyes widen and ears perk up out of worry and fear.

once [name] stopped coughing, astarion sighed. "i still find you attractive, dear. i'll always find you as dashing as the first day i met you, even if you were a pile of mush." astarion responded, a small smile on his face even though it pained him to see what [name] was going through.

"you are too kind.." [name] laughed a little again, his breathing deep and slow as his eyes trailed back to the window. "i'm honestly.. surprised you're still here with me. i could die at any moment, yet you stay by my side even though you can live forever." [name] whispered, his voice carried with a twinge of sadness to astarion.

astarion felt himself frowning. he didn't like where this conversation was going, not one bit. he didn't like the idea of [name] leaving him so soon, he couldn't bear it. he didn't want someone to leave him, he didn't want to be alone.

sure, astarion could've always made some effort to find an immortal lover like himself. yet, he made no such efforts to do so. [name] was his, for forever. no matter if [name] was a mere mortal or not.

"my dear, i will stay by you for as long as i will roam the earth." astarion replies, his own voice coming out as a whisper. he kneels infront of [name], taking their hand in his own before he pressed his lips to the hand. "whether you are dying, or well, i will always be by your side. i could never leave you." astarion mumbled as he pressed another kiss to [name]'s hand.

[name] hummed, turning his head back so he could look down at astarion with a small smile. "thank you, my love." the man responds, voice croaky and hoarse from the old age.

"there's no point of sharing this.. immortality of mine if i couldn't share it with you." astarion whispers, trying to refrain himself from tearing up. "even if it's just for a glimpse, a brief part of my life but all of yours.. i wouldn't want it any other way." astarion admits, looking up at [name] with a smile. yet, behind the smile were broken eyes full of pain and grief for what's to come.

[name] stares down at astarion in awe from his words. he feels touched and warmed by his lover's words. "my love.. you don't know how much i appreciate your words. you don't know how much i appreciate you.. how much i appreciate you sticking by my side.." the old man speaks, voice wavering and shaking.

astarion presses his forehead against [name]'s hand, using his own hand to squeeze theirs. he tries to keep himself from letting tears spill, but it's too late. a few start to fall onto [name]'s hand, then more and more fall onto the hand the floor.

[name] takes his free hand and he strokes astarion's cheek with it, trying to get him to look up. "don't cry, my love. i'm not gone yet.." [name] adds, a small chuckle leaving his lips as he spoke to try and lighten the mood. he just didn't want to come to terms that he'd be leaving astarion so soon.

astarion looked up and he nodded, wiping his face with his sleeve. he tried to calm down before he spoke again, he didn't want to look weak now. he couldn't act weak now. he still had to be there for [name], and [name] wasn't gone yet.

"can you lead me to the bedroom, please? i think i need to go and take a nap." [name] asks, moving the topic of conversation along. he didn't want to dampen the mood any further, the air was already thick with sorrow after all.

astarion nodded and he got up, brushing the dust off of his knees. the vampire spawn then took [name]'s arms, helping him walk over to the bedroom. once they arrived into the bedroom, astarion helped his lover onto the bed. he tucked [name] in, pressing a kiss to their wrinkled forehead before he got in next to them.

"i love you, my little star. i always will, even when my candle goes out." [name] whispers, closing his eyes slowly so he could get his rest.

astarion rested his head on [name]'s chest, listening to his slow heartbeat. "i love you, forever and always my dear." astarion whispers back, a smile on his lips as he tries to not think about what the future holds for them.

a few hours pass, and astarion moves to see if [name] is awake. the man should've woken up a while ago, his naps weren't always this long. maybe [name] was just feeling extra drowsy? astarion didn't want to think of anything else.

astarion lifts his head and he sees that [name]'s chest has stopped moving up and down. surely he's just seeing things, right? astarion just stares for a few seconds and he gulps. there's no breathing.

the vampire spawn reaches out and grabs [name]'s hand. it's cold. yes, [name] had recently been growing colder and colder, not being the same firey warmth astarion was used to. but, this time the coldness was different. it was almost as if [name] was a solid block of ice. maybe it was because there was a breeze in the room? that was surely it, right?

astarion rests his head on [name]'s chest once again to confirm his suspicions. he needs to be 100% sure of something before he jumps to conclusions. and there it is.. [name] no longer has a pulse. there's no longer a heartbeat astarion can hear to remind him that his lover is alive.

"no.." astarion mumbles, lifting his head up once more to take a look at his dearest. "no, no, no.." astarion shakes his head, trying to blink away incoming tears but it's no use. his love is gone. nothing can bring him back. no tears, no cries or screams are going to bring [name] back. there was absolutely nothing. [name]'s candle had been blown out, and too early for astarion's liking. there was so much unspoken words, so many things astarion could've said and things he wanted to say. but it was too late.

astarion started bawling. he gripped tightly onto his dead lover's body, not letting it go. it was as if he was protecting it from some unknown entity, scared they were going to take away [name] from him. but, they already had.

"no.. [name] why?!" astarion sobbed into [name]'s chest. he couldn't even let out any proper tears, he was silently crying, screaming even, into [name]'s unbeating chest.

astarion's mind and heart rattle inside of him. they wrestle, trying to get astarion to listen, to do one thing that they offer. yet, astarion does not budge. he does not hear his heart or his mind. the only thing he can hear is his silent crying into [name]'s chest, the sound he desperately didn't want to hear until years into the future.

the vampire's mind screams and yells at him, telling him that astarion should join him. his mind screams that they could be together forever if astarion just joined him. but how? there was no possible way for astarion to join [name], as much as he wanted to.

yet, there was a solution. the sun.

astarion was only a spawn, he couldn't walk out in the sun without a fear of being burnt into a crisp. the only method of him joining [name] would be walking out into the sun or getting staked in the heart. astarion opted for the sun.

astarion let go of [name]'s body, running out of the house and into the sun. the golden hues kissed his pale skin, until they started to burn. piece by piece, astarion started to flow away as ash. the ash littered the sky, almost telling a story of the words astarion wanted to say, the story of his tragedy.

perhaps it was a spur of the moment thing, a stupid, silly idea that astarion shouldn't of acted upon. but it was too late now. astarion could now finally be with [name], eternally. they could finally be together until the end of time.

astarion didn't want anything else, just to be with [name] forever and always.

- author's note: hope you guys enjoyed :)

- navigation ; masterlist ; requests

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spidybaby · 2 months

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The "A" Team

Summary: Kylian needs your help to get out of an awkward situation.

Warnings: none ❤️

Kylian was impatient, knee bouncing as a sign of it.

He was in a PSG meeting, all the players needed to be there for a very long talk about the new season changes with Luis Enrique.

Kylian was leaving, but that didn't mean he wasn't forced to go. He tried his best to get out of there.

He wasn't going to be there for the new season, so why was he there?

Hakimi and him were making jokes and messing with Ousmane and Fabian. Earning a few glares from the technical team and making them stop.

He needed a plan, he wanted to get out of there. He was thinking about taking a nap, he felt tired.

"Don't yawn again, you're making me yawn." Achraf hit him with his arm. "Why are you even here for? You're fired."

"I'm not fired." He says, the sassy tone makes Achraf smile. "I put up my two weeks."

"Six months better say." Ousmane joins. "Kylian Saint Germain ain't going to be Kylian Saint Germain anymore." He jokes, sad that at the end his friend will leave the team.

Kylian laugh, he can't deny that he will miss the team, the trainers, the family he created there, and people who he will forever love.

When they give them a few minutes to get something to eat or drink at the little table they set for that, Kylian got an idea.

You were home, resting from a flue. You were free to help him to get out of there. Maybe if you called him he can fake an emergency.

He texted you, ready to settle the plan and make it work in the next fifteen minutes he has to use his phone and to eat something.

You were doing some tv marathon, watching Sponge Bob while eating some popcorn. When your phone rings, you check that kylian was asking you to call him in five and ask him to pick you up.

You smile, he was bored and helpless with the talk.

Credit of the pic to: @kylianmbappee, thank you for letting me use it for this ❤️✨️

You continue watching Sponge Bob, waiting for the time to go. When you checked if the five minutes passed, you were ready to act.

Kylian was with Achraf, Fabian and Luis Enrique when his phone rang, he smiled. "Lover boy can't spend a moment without his lady." Fabian says.

"C'mon, let us say hi to our favorite girl." Achraf jokes. He always request to talk to you and mess with you over the phone.

"Let me put her on speaker." He smiles, he knows the show is about to start. "Bonjour, bébé."

"Kylian, oh my God, please, I need you." You fake cry, it sounds so real that he almost forgets about your plan. "I don't know what happened, I don't have anyone to call, please come. I don't want to be alone here, ky please."

The looks of the three men is a poem, the worried eyes, and open mouths. They're down.

"Joder, where is she?" Fabian says, he's very much worried about you. "Joder, Ky you need to go."

He was about to turn to where they were seated when you kept going.

"Kylian, please hurry. I need you here." You cry harder this time.

"Kylian, go. This meeting can wait." Luis pushed him to the door. They all are worried. "Hurry, go."

He takes the speaker off, you still acting up and crying for help. He asks you where you are, pretending to be worried, and he wins a few glares of people around them.

"I'm on my way, amour, wait please." He grabs his coat, Achraf is asking him is he needs a ride, he shake his head no. "Don't hang up, I'm on my way."

"Text me when you're with her." Hakimi pats his back as he runs to the door. "Be safe."

He exited the club quickly, telling his driver to take him home. Once they're two blocks away from the club he laughs.

"You're such a great actress. If you want, I can get you a role on a show." He jokes with you. "I'll be home in a few, mon amour."

"Bring me some boneless and a soda, a big one, like really big." You say, hungry after that big role you pull. "And some dessert, maybe two pieces of cake." You exaggerate.

"Everything for you, I'll be there as soon as I get your things."

You smile knowing that your role was good and you will have your man all the evening with you.

While he gets back to you, you are still streaming Sponge Bob, realizing and thinking about what a krabby patty taste like.

"Amour, I'm home."

You turn your head to him, getting up and walking to him with your arms open, ready to greet your lover.

"Hello, Mister Mbappé, I heard your girlfriend had a thing going on, poor girl. She's really unstable." You kiss him, smirking about your joke.

"She is, but you know what they say, the crazier the better." He kisses you again, pecking your lips many times until he pulls away.

"I got you your wings and your cake, plus the biggest soda I could purchase." He hug you from the back, pointing at all the things he got you.

You two sit down to watch a movie, not thinking much about the day or the meeting.

"Hakimi just texted me, he's asking if I'm okay." You show him the text. "I'm just going to ignore it for the day."

"Yeah, I left my phone on airplane mode." He smirks. "I'm spending some time with my fav member of our A team."

"We're an A team." You smile, hugging him while cuddling on the couch.

🪷🪷🪷

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animatedglittergraphics-n-more · 5 months

Text

RIP, AIM: Remembering how we used to talk on the internet

A eulogy for AOL Instant Messenger, and how it changed the way we talk about games and everything else By Luke Winkie published December 15, 2017

Do you remember all the souls you've lost to the internet? Those incidental friendships, forged in IRC clients, Newgrounds forums, 40-man Ragnaros wipes, scattered across the globe when the web was young? They came into your life and played Fall Out Boy over Ventrilo. They came into your life and disappeared forever. Do you remember when snapping a selfie required a frustrating tangle of mechanical coercion, but it was worth it to show them your face? When real-life names were rarefied information shared exclusively through digital blood pacts? AIM shut down today, and the only thing I can think about is how all of those people still exist somewhere, perhaps exploring the same pit in their stomach that I am.

AIM belongs to all of us. As a pioneering force of internet communication, anyone born in the early '90s or late '80s has spent some time on the platform. As a 26-year old, I'm crucially aware that my appreciation for the prodigal instant messenger is colored by a nostalgia that has nothing to do with the service itself. It was simply the medium of choice to grouse about homework, The Decemberists, girls I liked, and the rest of my random bullshit.

But I do believe that there's a special union between AIM and people who grew up playing games, or at least came of age on the internet with people who played games. The early millennium revolutions in online multiplayer pitted us together and asked us to collaborate, so of course we carried those early internet accords to their logical extremes—talking all night in lonely chat boxes about what's cool, what sucks, and how easy it is to relate. In 2017, the web feels less like something I approach for those connections, and more like an overwhelming ennui that I'm constantly trying to outrun. Boston's Kyle Seeley nailed that feeling perfectly with 2015's Emily is Away, and this year's sequel Emily is Away Too—both of which transport you back to the spongy leather office chairs of your parents' computer room.

"AIM was primarily for one-on-one conversations between teenagers. That's how I used AIM, to have a very intimate conversation with another person. Now we have texting and Facebook messenger, but you can use those wherever you are," he says. "You can use those at a concert or while driving. But when you were using AIM, you were sitting down at a computer to talk to people. You had their undivided attention."

Emily is Away tributes AIM in the only way anyone can—spinning a yarn of disentranced high-school drama that eventually mounts into something deeply sad. The way Seeley presents an old Windows XP desktop, with the hilariously temperamental tastes of your idiot friends revealing themselves in their bios and away messages (until one day they stop logging on entirely) is immediately resonant. We've all had our Emilys. "When you have a conversation on the phone, you spend 10 minutes making small talk," says Seeley. "On AIM you talk to someone for hours. Like eight hours, 10 hours straight. You get all the small talk out of the way in the first hour, and then you're talking about these big teenager questions. Who am I? Who do I want to be? I think AIM was really good at that."

It was always difficult for me to articulate the intimacy I felt with my internet friends to my parents. There were the obvious, mechanical mistranslations; I begged my mother for early exits from countless family dinners that consistently managed to interfere with my guild's crucial Molten Core attempts. But beyond that, there was a certain shame in feeling loved and valued by people I only knew by username. A latent fear that those who did not understand might consider that affection to be false, or even sinister. That's different now, as social media has flattened out our offline/online dichotomy, but if you were on AIM, you probably remember how once upon a time those bonds felt illegal.

Years ago Nina Freeman, level designer at Fullbright and one of the foremost thinkers on love and technology, launched a flat-out covert campaign to get close with one of those friends. She spent months locked in the holy matrimony of Final Fantasy XI and nightly AIM treatises with a boy named Glenn from New York City. Eventually they met, but not before Freeman satisfied her aunt, (who she was staying with) with a fabricated narrative—Glenn was no longer a dude from the internet, now he was just an old family friend who happened to move east. "I was still in high school," says Freeman. "We made up that whole story."

That secrecy is immediately familiar to me. AIM was surreptitious, clandestine. A service that belonged to teenagers, sequestered from leering ears and concerned authority figures. As Freeman notes, a screen name was one of the few commodities a young person could fully own. A domain, an aesthetic, a communication channel you could control. It was rare to feel fully untethered from your parents, so you guarded that sliver of liberty with your life.

"I wouldn't hand out [my username] lightly," explains Freeman. "I'd only really do it with people I felt close enough with. It seems sort intimate. It was a 'thing' to add someone on AIM. The expectation would be that if we're adding each other, we're going to chat regularly.… It had a weight to it."

Cecilia D'Anastasio, senior reporter at Kotaku (and a friend of mine) went a step further. As an 11-year-old, she was already griefing in the multiplayer Flash games she shared with her friends over AIM. I don't think anything sums up the juvenile euphoria of instant messaging quite like using that power to cheat in stakes-free freeware.

"One of the Flash games I discovered was basically Pictionary, but online and with a chat room. One player would etch out an image in a Microsoft Paint-like interface while the chat would dutifully guess at what it could possibly be. It was very wholesome," says D'Anastasio. "That's why my friend June and I were passionate about cheating. We'd join a game on the same team. Over AIM, we'd tell each other what we were assigned to draw, instructing whoever was guessing to wait a solid ten seconds before revealing the answer. It was a riot. We always won."

Over the past decade or so AIM has slowly been replaced with services that de-emphasize traditional internet patois. Gchat and Twitter are all full of real names and faces instead of coded handles and custom-colored text, and logging in to most platforms scarcely takes more than a click on a Facebook icon. For the most part, this is a good thing. Anonymity is one of the scourges of online culture—a de facto institution that continues to cause a lot of people pain. Personally though, I can't help but feel like we've lost something along the way. There was a certain sublimity in typing from behind the guise of a username. It gave way to a feeling that your AIM conversations existed in some sort of permissive, alternative reality, the ideal spot to work up the nerve for swollen 3 am confessions. In 2017 there is no such thing as "IRL" anymore; your internet presence is permanently married to your day-to-day existence. Everyone on earth spends their waking hours waging wars and making peace with strangers they will never meet. It is overwhelming and insoluble, and there are moments where I wish I could get outside again.

I'm not the only person that feels this way, and there are some people working to restore the parts of the mid-aughts internet that worked. When I interviewed Jason Citron, CEO of Discord, earlier this year, he affirmed a deep appreciation for AIM, and believed that perhaps the online infrastructure might soon swing back in that direction. "When you zoom out and think about the internet and how communication is trending, there's definitely a trend to more live experiences," he said. "The internet has done so much to connect people asynchronously, so I think there's something more macro happening that Discord is taking part in. It's like we're bringing it back to how it used to be."

He's right. One of the things that's made Discord successful is how separated it feels from the rest of the internet. When you join an ultra-specific channel—for niche Hearthstone formats or fan-favorite Persona characters—it's like you're uncovering a league of obsessives that are ready to welcome you with open arms. The true solidarity of dorkiness. It's funny, but by holding back on cosmopolitan design choices (like Facebook integration or a required photo-reel), Cintron stumbled into a scheme that evokes the furtive splendor that made AIM special. This is something Nina Freeman found when she started up a Discord channel to support her growing Twitch following. "It quickly became a community, and now I have a bunch of newer online friends. I'm already cracking up at myself as I'm wondering what they look like, or what they do in real life," says Freeman. "It definitely has a similar appeal."

If Discord doesn't quite meet your personal instant messaging standards, Citron tells me that, if enough people in the community request it, he'd consider implementing the low-res AIM chimes into the service. You know, door creak, door slam, those disruptive MIDI twinkles. "To this day, that sound still triggers my desire to hop online," he says.

Kyle Seeley is doing something similar. Yesterday he released a piece of DLC for Emily is Away Too that reskins Steam Chat to look exactly like AIM circa 2006. He spared no expense; you can change your text color, drop in vintage, blocky emoticons, and create your own custom profile so you can tell the world that Warped Tour will never die. "It's a farewell to AIM," he says. As one gaming's foremost nostalgia artists, it'd be wrong if he didn't say goodbye.

Now the AIM generation is old enough to both intellectualize their wistfulness, and use the lessons they learned from the service to create for the today's teenagers. To facilitate affection and respect on the internet, to show them what it looks like. We were the first to taste love on the web, at a time when those feelings had no context or guidance, and I hope that AIM helped create a baseline for young people and the midnight communion with those across the screen. The liberation that comes with knowing that the internet friendships you cherish are just as valid and wonderful as you think they are—these stories matter, because they help light that path. Lord knows I needed it, and I'm sure you did too.

Luke Winkie

Contributing Writer

Luke Winkie is a freelance journalist and contributor to many publications, including PC Gamer, The New York Times, Gawker, Slate, and Mel Magazine. In between bouts of writing about Hearthstone, World of Warcraft and Twitch culture here on PC Gamer, Luke also publishes the newsletter On Posting. As a self-described "chronic poster," Luke has "spent hours deep-scrolling through surreptitious Likes tabs to uncover the root of intra-publication beef and broken down quote-tweet animosity like it’s Super Bowl tape." When he graduated from journalism school, he had no idea how bad it was going to get.

#rip aim #aim #aol instant messeging #old web #techcore #aim eulogy #webcore

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wonderlandwalker · 4 months

Text

The Will of the Moirai | Finnick Odair x Reader

THG Masterlist / Taglist / Inbox

Summary: Part three of Remember and Trying to Forget. Time passes in district 13 and Finnick wonders if everything will ever be as it was, but the moment everything feels like it did before, fate interrupts

Content Warnings/Tags: Angst, memory loss, blood, gunshots, major character injury, hurt/very little comfort, my love of Greek mythology, no use of y/n

Word Count: 1.5k

A/N: So turns out I lied and I wrote this before my exam but since I did I might as well post it. Look I tried to make it less sad but as I was writing it somewhere my thoughts just took over. If anyone knows how to make happy endings let me know cause by the gods we all know Finnick deserves one. I also nerded out a bit on the mythology part I'm sorry

Vocabulary:

Moirai = the three fates which determine the length of someones life

Atropos = one of the fate sisters who cuts the thread of someone's life

River of lost souls = one of the five rivers of the underworld, the river of misery

Lethe = one of the five rivers of the underworld, the river of forgetfulness

He knows someone died today, he knows because whenever this happens there is always an announcement. And he’s never sure why they do this, because to him it feels like they're just adding salt to a fresh wound. He doesn’t understand the custom, and he hopes he will never get the chance to learn either, hopes that Atropos will have mercy on him for a little longer. He doesn’t know who it is that passed away in the hospital wing, he hears them mention a name but he’s not listening. He can hear someone else, someone yelling about how the doctors did something wrong, how they messed up. And he isn't sure if it’s insensitive, but he does not care much, he can’t get himself to care because it isn't you. You are standing next to him and to him, all is right. For the most part

It’s comical almost, the way he gets excited every time, as if this is the last piece of the puzzle and the picture will be complete, but every time there is still another piece lost somewhere. And while he’s grateful every time that light of recollection passes through you, it’s not enough. It will never be enough because you do remember him, but you don’t remember him like he remembers you. He thought he knew what patience felt like, because first, he spent his time waiting for you to fall in love with him the way he had always known he loved you. then he was tested whenever you would wear something just a little too revealing to a party, making him wonder if patience really was a virtue, and if it was, he’d prefer spending his time searching for vices.

Yes, Finnick thought himself a patient man, but as the days continued to pass by he found himself reevaluating the standard. Because he wasn't annoyed, he wasn't anxious, and he was surely not tolerable. So maybe this wasn't a question of patience, maybe, he thought, this was a test of his love for you. And with that thought, he went to bed every night. He went to sleep not with the comfort of you next to him, but with the comfort of knowing that this was a scrutiny he would spend eternity enduring in order to get you back.

With that he spends his days next to you, knowing that even if it takes forever, he will still be there. So he makes conversation with you during dinner and makes you laugh at parties, he makes sure everyone knows he is yours, even if you don’t know it yet. So when someone interrupts him from the hypnotizing effect you have on him, he tries not to pay it any mind, but unfortunately, that is not an option this time. Because the man he had seen making a commotion the other day is here, he is even more upset than he had seemed before, and this time he has a gun.

He sees the man step closer, and he is about to take his chances to try and disarm him when he sees you stepping forward. You take a step closer to the man while holding out your hands, you look as if you’re trying to address an easily startled animal. But it’s working, and Finnick can’t say he’s surprised, because who could say no to you? You’re trying to reason with him, and usually, Finnick would have said it’s no use, but he knows how persuasive you can be. He remembers how you were always the one to reason, even when he didn't see the point. You always had to try, because you had told him about the good of people, but you were the only one Finnick saw any good in. You’re telling the man about the importance of memories. Youre talking about the fondness you hold to your own memories, but they're not just yours, they're your memories with him. You’re talking about that day in the arena, you’re saying how scared you were, scared that those would be your last moments. But you didn't care, because you knew Finnick was alive, and he would never let the memory of you die. You’re asking the man about the woman who died, he still can't remember her name, but you do, you remember. And it’s working, it’s all working like a tower of cards put together by the gentlest of hands.

But it doesn't take much to destroy what you’ve built, the smallest gust of wind can knock it over. He watches it happen, he sees the soldiers slowly and silently entering the room to try and put a stop to the rampage the man has caused. He sees it and he knows everything is about to start to crumble down. So he does the only thing he knows how to do, he reaches for you. He reaches for you because he knows that once the man notices what is happening, your tower of cards will be knocked over and you will have lost the battle you’ve been trying to win. And he can’t stop it from happening, but he can save you from the fall. He reaches out to you and he can feel your soft skin against his as he tugs you towards him. And he can’t explain it, because he knows there isn't a logical way to do so, but the moment he feels your touch, he knows everything is back in its right place. He knows you remember. He gets to you, and he hears the shot echo through the room, but he doesn't want you to have to see it, he shields you from everything that's happening because youre letting him, for the first time since the games you’re letting him.

But he should've learned by now that things are never this simple, and every time he thinks he’s won, there is always something there to push him off the pedestal he’s just built. He looks and he sees the man standing there, and he doesn't understand. Because he heard a gunshot, but the man is still standing, being surrounded and being detained, but standing. He doesn't understand until he can feel you collapsing, he looks back to you as he supports you and his blood turns to ice. Because he sees his hands, the hands that were supposed to save you, and they’re covered in blood. They’re covered in your blood. He can see the blush disappearing from your cheeks and the way your eyes are starting to close. And for once he wished he didn't remember. That he couldn't recall the last time this happened, because he wants to have hope, he wants to convince himself that tomorrow everything would be okay, because he’s managed to get you back yet again. But the memory hangs over him like a dark storm he should’ve seen coming. He spent days, weeks begging whichever god would be listening to make you remember, to give you back to him. And it turns out they heard him, but they have never been known to be fair. He remembers the strength it took you to get here, and he doesn't know if you have enough left to do it again.

And if he could, he’d offer himself to the river of lost souls, he would spend eternity reliving this misery as long as he knew you wouldn't have to. He would dive into it like the sea on a summer night back home, because to him, that would be better than seeing you be taken to the Lethe again. And he knows the moirai do not care what he has to say, that they do not care what he is willing to offer, but he is still pleading to them anyway. Because you open your eyes when he asks you to, and you look at him the same way as when he found you in the capitol, you look at him as if nothing is wrong, because he makes it all right. And surely, he thinks, this cannot be how it ends. He’s desperate, and he’s scared. But he’s no longer scared you’ll pull away when he kisses you, because your lips are melting together with his again and he’s sure this is what heaven must feel like. Except the moment you stop kissing him, the moment your hand falls from where it was holding his face, he knows this was never heaven, this is his hell.

Next part: One day at a Time

Taglist: @hesperdern @mrsnancywheeler

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alicerosejensen · 7 months

Text

Find me

Warning: mention of blood, violence (physical and psychological), mention of viruses, parasites, zombies; kidnapping; the reader has a slight anemia; Fem/reader; established relationship with Leon.

Synopsis: You could have a quiet wedding and a good life with the person you love most in the world. Leon was ready to protect you to the death from his enemies and viruses but… it seems that someone is also interested in you. And the price for life will be very high.

A/N: The idea from this post that I wrote about quite a long time ago. "Together forever" I'm not very good at writing (apparently the Yandere theme is not mine, no matter how much I like it). So I'm going to try this plot. I don't know how many parts there will be, but if everything goes well, then probably a lot (maybe 10-12 or so). I hope someone likes it because I have serious notes on this work in my notebook, as if these are sketches for the 9th part of the resident).

Tags will be added to the following parts. I was very much inspired by the remaster and Haunting ground when I was taking notes. After all, both games were made by Capcom.

Feedback is welcome (but no insults!)

Sometimes the worst horror happens in the name of love. It's not the worst plot for books, films or paintings that are more than a hundred years old and it's impossible not to admit that sometimes we want to be loved until our death.

And maybe after it.

The words sound soft, with a slight taste of regret, as if somewhere between the letters there is a treacherous "I'm sorry". But in fact it was so predictable. Leon hugs you too tightly, experiencing an inexhaustible sense of guilt, because he promised to decide together where you will spend your honeymoon, which is unlikely to last exactly a month, he promised to watch a movie with you that you have been planning for a long time and… and everything went to hell.

Leon nuzzles your cheek and devoutly kisses you gently, leaving a wet trail with his eyes closed. Another sign of his eternal love, his lips are imprinted on the bridge of your nose, making you smile from the slight tickle caused by his stubble. He had no power over not being called to work for at least another week, but the government is not interested in the personal life of his best agent. And yet you enjoy the way he puts his arm around your waist, holding you as tightly as he can.

"Okay, Mr. Kennedy," you joke kindly, inhaling the almost faded scent of his cologne. "I forgive you, once again. Run to save the world" You smile looking into his crystal blue eyes filled with sadness and longing.

"I promise that I will ask the authorities for a good vacation," Leon swears very sensually, continuing to hold you tightly in his hands and look with those puppy eyes from which the soul is torn apart and kisses again this time on the forehead, "If necessary, I will harness Ingrit and no one will bother us. We'll plan everything the way you want, even if it's a tour of all the castles in Europe"

You laugh sincerely, removing the bangs from his face, hoping to stretch the moment of intimacy with him longer. It was so warm and safe next to him that you snuggled up to his chest and he gently cradled you in his arms like a child.

"Don't do anything stupid in my absence"

"I still need to do an exhibition and maybe I'll finally clean up the bookcase," you lie knowing full well that the books will still lie randomly on the shelves and you won't even touch them. Actually, your work was the only thing that could save you from the all-consuming longing for Leon.

"Be careful, okay?" with some hidden fear, he asks, reluctantly releasing you from the ring of embraces. "I'll call as soon as I get a free minute and I'll really be back soon"

Leon is already out on the street and you follow him with a sad look, noticing some dark car to the side. Rightly deciding that they came for him, you lower your head, sighing heavily and literally taken aback when Leon's lips abruptly cover yours with a demanding and somewhat rude kiss that you forget how to breathe. At some point you try to seize the initiative, but strong hands push you against the wall and you hit the back of your head a little painfully, allowing him to dominate. As always.

"I would eat you right here," Leon said sarcastically and quietly stroking your hips, "But I really have to go."

And you silently bite your lower lip while watching him move away from you and get on his bike.

Well, that cool car wasn't for him, but this thought quickly leaves your head and in the end, tired of standing on the street, you just go back into the house, closing the door, grabbing the phone and immediately sending him an impatient "I miss you already." However, this does not prevent you from also ordering food with home delivery and watching some movie to pass the evening that was hopelessly spoiled.

The evening really became disgusting, neither delicious food saved him, nor a good movie will save him.

"Complete shit" a quiet curse came off your lips when you looked at the phone screen for the hundredth time in the evening and endlessly reread Leon's last message "My love…" which seems to have been imbued with such despair that tears came to your eyes. He was like a big kid who couldn't live a day without you and besides, only with you his sleep was like a more or less healthy one. You were his only light and he wanted that light to stay with him forever. Well, you could send him a hundred more messages, but it's unlikely that he will have the opportunity to read them in the next few hours or even days. So with bitterness, you just turned off the TV and went to the bathroom to get ready for an earlier than usual sleep.

Hot water pleasantly calmed and warmed the skin flowing down the body. You spent 15 minutes in the shower, brushing your teeth and doing all the usual and favorite cosmetic procedures, smeared your body with a lotion with a pleasant floral scent, waiting for it to soak into pale skin. The mood even improved a little when you changed into pajamas and straightened the bed once more before putting your head on the pillow and looking at the phone.

Nothing.

There's no point blaming Leon or doubting his love. It wasn't up to him. Sometimes he was dragged out of bed late at night and you could not see him for weeks without even being able to talk on the phone for one minute. But when he returned, he turned into a puppy clinging to his beloved owner and covered your body with a lot of kisses, not letting you get out of bed. Not that you mind… You always miss him and worry about him.

Sighing, you turn over on your side, putting the phone on the bedside table and not seeing the desired message from your fiance. Therefore, grabbing Leon's pillow, the lungs are filled with his smell and instead of feeling his presence, you experience only a deep feeling tearing apart that makes your heart beat a little faster.

And closing your eyes, you reach for the switch, when suddenly for a second the phone quickly notifies you of a new message from the addressee next to whose name the heart turns red.

"Don't forget to take the pills that the doctor prescribed for you. I want this sickly pallor to disappear. Love you"

Well, smiling, you took a screenshot of the message for some reason, saving it in your gallery on your phone. After sending Leon the answer, you still remembered that you really forgot about those pills once again, but you didn't want to get up anymore, so you left this matter for the morning. Sighing once again, trying his luck in the hope that Leon would write something else, your mobile was treacherously silent while you were just flipping through the social media feed.networks thinking only about how dependent you are on this man. However, the same can be said about him. The phone went out, as did the light in the bedroom, and sleep slowly overtook your mind when you hugged else's pillow without hearing quiet footsteps in the next room. The uninvited guest, thanks to Leon, had to tinker a lot with the lock of the front door before he unlocked it, quietly closing it behind him so as not to attract your attention while you were in the shower. Merging with the surrounding darkness, it was necessary to wait for the right time and prepare the syringe so that everything went as it should and the target was quietly neutralized without attracting the attention of neighbors.

The order was well paid and the fact that Leon left the house on that day was only to his advantage. After all, a government agent can ruin everything and getting rid of him threatened big problems that were not needed by anyone, but who will remember about his pretty bride, about whom he will probably quickly forget everything himself? The unknown person only needed to stick a pomeranian, inject the substance and quietly take the target out of the house by throwing a fake note with a handwriting similar to yours that you and Leon do not see the future for yourself. Pick up a few personal items and throw them in the nearest trash as proof of the truthful departure of the unfaithful bride.

Not the worst plan, especially since Leon Kennedy will think about your disappearance and how natural it is, no one really cares. Even if he suspects this ill-conceived plan, by that time you will be too far away from here anyway.

The problem was solved by itself because you are a simple art worker did not pose any threat even if you tried to resist. One step, two… the blessed victim will not suspect anything until the very moment when someone else's hand in a black glove closes her mouth and sticks a needle into her body. You fall asleep without suspecting anything, somehow reflexively reaching to the left side where Leon usually sleeps with his back to the bedroom door.

You are separated by literally a few meters from each other before one inept movement spoils everything.

The sound of falling books that Leon has been asking you to arrange exactly for so long makes you open your eyes by squeezing the pillowcase of the pillow and the "guest" freeze without touching the door handle. However, you felt a gaze on you that did not let you be deceived that someone had entered the house.

In Leon's bedside table there is a 9mm pistol fully loaded. It's not that you were very accurate, but Leon took you to a place as entertainment, where you trained shooting at targets under the watchful eye.

"not the worst result for a beginner," he said condescendingly so as not to upset you, but it was fun even if the gun was real.

Except now there are no jokes! You heard another step towards your side and held your breath, gathering strength for a jerk to pull out the gun and remove it from the safety. From fear, the heart beat faster, causing the blood to roar in your ears and before the intruder's hand landed on your face, you abruptly rolled to the left side of the bed, throwing a pillow at the person standing over you, winning for yourself a couple of seconds from his confusion.

Jumping to your feet, you quickly grabbed the gun pointing it at the man with trembling hands, removing it from the safety.

"Your own life is more expensive," you thought when a man of impressive size in a mask stood a meter away from you without a weapon, because his goal is to deliver you alive because you will not be of any use dead.

You held his floor at gunpoint, but your hands were shaking from the unusual weight and you really wanted to lower them down, but you held on trying not to panic. A step towards you and you pulled the trigger without aiming so stupidly hitting the closet, startled by the loud noise of the shot, immediately shrinking and from unaccustomed frightened by the strong recoil of the weapon.

"Fuck," he swore loudly, immediately rushing to you, forcing you to scream at the top of your voice while miraculously dodging. Rushing to the door, the first thought was to run outside and ask for help from neighbors, especially since the sound of a gunshot and a woman's scream certainly did not go unnoticed and someone probably should have already called the police. We just need to hold out. However, you only managed to jump out into the corridor when suddenly a strong man's hand roughly grabbed you by the hand in which you were holding a gun and your finger pressed the hook again making a shot.

Again a loud noise, your screams and a small hole in the ceiling.

Again the bullet flew by.

"Get off me, you bastard!"

A ringing slap in the face and you abruptly fell to the floor dropping the gun somewhere to the side. He immediately hung over you, but grabbing the first book that came to hand, you threw it in her man's face and taking advantage of another hitch jumped to her feet, running on without thinking about how much lip hurts.

And yet, the chances of escape were initially small, especially when shortness of breath began due to anemia and the chest began to ache sharply. A deep breath did not help even if your body was filled with adrenaline, he still knocked you to the floor, pressing your whole body to the floor, taking that ill-fated syringe out of your pocket and sticking it into you by quickly pressing the plunger . It only takes a few minutes, but because of your screams and shots, even they could put the entire mission under the "failed" icon, so without wasting even these precious minutes, the kidnapper grabs you by the hair and just hits your head on the floor suppressing resistance at the root. The world before your eyes becomes hazy and barely audible when a strange and unusual feeling of lightness covers you despite the pain in your head.

"Bitch ruined everything"

This bastard threw you over his shoulder and quickly ran out of the house, leaving the syringe lying there on the floor because there was no more time. Throwing you carelessly like a sack into the backseat, he slammed the door and gave gas to get away from the crime scene as soon as possible and dump the tail by moving to another car. They'll pay him well anyway.

You only blurred vision being on the verge of consciousness silently watched your loss until a long sleep covered you.

#leon kennedy #leon scott kennedy #leon s kennedy #leon kennedy x reader #leon x reader #leon s kennedy x reader #resident evil #resident evil x reader #leon kennedy x you #reader #leon resident evil #resident evil leon #leon kennedy resident evil #leon s kennedy x you #leon s kennedy x fem!reader #leon scott kennedy x reader

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borathae · 5 months

Text

"Spending time with Yoongi will always make your day better."

Pairing: Vampire!Yoongi x Witch!Reader

Genre: established relationship!AU, Slice of Life Fluff

Warnings: love and being in love and loving each other, they're cooking together and they're happy and in love!!!, also they hug each other and LOVE each other 😭, also their teamwork in all parts of life just breaks me apart, they're the one true couple, i apologise i love them so much

Wordcount: 2.4k

a/n: i hope that this can cheer you guys up a little. now i'm crying because i don't want my forever seven to leave and love this couple so much :(

Sometimes days aren’t good, but describing them as a bad day doesn’t fit either. You can feel that something was off, but you also can’t describe what exactly it is that is off. You just know that something is wrong. It makes you restless and uneasy, yet at the same time hinders you from doing anything at all. It once again, must be brought to attention that it isn’t enough for it to be a bad day. You know how paralysis because of mental struggles feels like and this isn’t that. You simply feel restless and unable to do anything against it.

You tried to fight the feeling come the later hours of the afternoon, but not even reading helped. As a matter of fact, you managed to read half a page and then you lost interest again. Taking care of your plants entertained you for an hour before you felt too exhausted to continue and you gave up.

Which leads us to the current moment in the estate’s main kitchen. It is empty, safe for you and you are currently trying to entertain yourself by making tea. You let out a loud sigh, sagging your shoulders. You feel so weird. You don’t like feeling this way. Not one bit.

“Hey princess”, Yoongi enters the kitchen.

You turn, studying him from head to toe. He is walking to you, rolling his head as he does to get the stiffness out of his neck.

“Hey, love. How did it go?”

“Good. Meredith and I finally finished the spell to close the gateway”, he says and gives you a kiss on your cheek, “we can get rid of the leak tomorrow.”

Meredith’s coven struggles with a dark magic leak not far from their place and Yoongi has been in magical connection with Meredith all day, working in the library whilst she worked in her own. Together they constructed a spell which will hopefully close the leak for good.

“That’s amazing news. You guys are so cool”, you say and turn back to the kettle. The water finished boiling and you need to fill your mug.

“Yeah, hopefully it’ll work ‘cause otherwise we need to think of something else.”

“No matter the outcome, I’m sure you guys will be successful in the end. I believe in you.”

“Thank you, princess. That motivates me”, he says and closes the distance so he could drape his arm around your waist. He rests his chin on your shoulder, rubbing your side softly, “how was your day?”

“Wow Yoongi”, you say and let out a loud sigh, “thank you so much for asking because I literally can’t take it anymore. Today’s such a poopy day and I don’t even know why.”

“Really? What happened?” he asks worriedly, hugging you.

You shrug your shoulders.

“Nothing happened, that’s the thing. It’s not even a bad day and I don’t feel sad or anything, but it’s not a good day either.”

“That’s okay. You can have neutral days.”

“But it’s not a neutral day. It’s a…a...I guess it’s an uncomfortable day, but not uncomfortable enough to be upset about it. I just constantly dislike what is happening to me. Even your hug makes me feel weird.”

“Sorry”, Yoongi says and gives you space instantly.

“Don’t apologise. It was a nice hug, but today I just constantly feel murgh”, you make the sound, “like that sound. Murgh.”

“Did you do something, which could have triggered it?”

“No, I just lied around until I felt uneasy, I tried to read and garden but even that felt weird. Now I’m here. Making tea and feeling murgh.”

“Maybe you’re just bored.”

“Bored?”

Yoongi nods his head, “I know I feel weird when I lie around and do nothing. I get bored and weirdly stressed out for not achieving anything.”

“Yes exactly. Thank you. This is exactly how I feel. It’s so late already and I haven’t done anything productive today. Now I feel like I need to do something or else I’d have wasted this day, but nothing interests me.”

“Mhm, I understand. I’m sorry you feel this way, princess. I don’t think you wasted your day. You just did some resting. That’s already enough.”

“I guess”, you say and sign, “I know how you mean it and I know it’s enough to just do nothing sometimes, but I really wanted today to be productive.”

“I understand. Maybe we could still do something productive?”

“No, it’s okay. You already did so much with Meredith today. I don’t wanna take cozy time away from you just ‘cause I can’t get to rest today.”

“I wouldn’t mind. We could do one of those murder mystery games together. We still gotta solve the case with the glovebox. You know the one where you fell asleep on my lap last time?”

You laugh, nodding your head. You were three hours into the game when sleepiness dragged you down and you fell asleep with your head on his lap as he read you one of the clues. It wasn’t your fault, Yoongi played with your hair and it knocked you out.

“That’s cozy enough for me. We could continue the game”, Yoongi says.

You glance at him. Yoongi grins.

“I know that look. You wanna do a murder mystery together, don’t you?”

“Yeah maybe”, you confess, “that game is so much fun.”

“Yeah, it’s really fun”, he agrees and opens the fridge to hand you the milk.

“Thanks.”

“Mhm”, he hums and studies the contents of the fridge, “did you have dinner already?”

“No, that’s the next thing which overwhelms me. No food sounds good, but I’m starving. I literally ate raw noodles for a snack.”

Yoongi scrunches his nose in distaste.

“No, don’t do that. Don’t eat raw pasta.”

“But the crunch and the blandness of them. It just satisfies something in me”, you argue in a whine.

“Okay, if you say so”, Yoongi murmurs and bends down to inspect the lower levels, “do you want curry? I make a very yummy Korean style curry.”

“Oh I actually love curries.”

“Good. Then it’s decided. My indecisive princess is gonna eat curry tonight”, he says and straightens up. He takes out some of the ingredients, giving you a smile.

“You’re cute, you know?” you say.

“Mhm, you keep saying that yeah.”

“Because I mean it”, you close the distance so you can hug his waist, “you’re cute.”

Yoongi leans in for a smooch to his cheek. He hides his giddiness with a faint touch to his own neck.

“Can you get me the cutting board?” he asks.

“Yeah sure”, you say and spring into action instantly. Weirdly enough, you don’t feel that uncomfortably bored anymore ever since Yoongi entered the kitchen. Even cooking, which once sounded too exhausting to do, feels easy. Yoongi is cutting the vegetables while you prepare a pot with some water. It feels so easy to do now that you can do it with Yoongi.

“I want music. Is it okay for you if I turn the radio on?”

“Yeah sure.”

“Nice”, you say, turning on the radio with a snap of your fingers. The CD which you listened to last night plays from the beginning.

“Mhm, that’s making it so much more fun”, Yoongi says and then begins humming to the song as he cuts up the potato for the curry.

“It does. Even music felt exhausting, but I don’t think so right now”, you say and swing your hips to the music.

“Mhm I get it. Do you want meat in the curry?”

“No, it’s not necessary. I’ll start on the rice, okay?”

“Yeah okay”, Yoongi says and sings his next words to the melody of the song, “she wants no meat in the curry. Hmhm.”

You glance at him. He is so lovely without even trying. You enjoy the smile he brings to the surface until it naturally dies down again and leaves a warm flicker in your chest. Then you look at the rice cooker, lowering yourself so you could read the different settings better. You turn it on to check for the water levels. There is still enough inside, which means you can wash the rice.

You have to get to where Yoongi is standing for it, passing him with a swing in your hips and your right hand dancing along his lower back. He looks at you.

“Do you need to get inside?” he asks.

“Yeah.”

He steps aside so you could get the bowl.

“Thank you”, you say, stealing a little cheek kiss for which Yoongi leans in naturally.

“Mhm”, he hums while you dance back to the rice cooker. You take out the rice from the cupboard.

“Do you want to eat something as well?”

“Yes, I feel like it tonight. I haven’t had curry in ages.”

“Okie dokie”, you say and then sing the next words, “rice for my Boongie so he can grow big and strong.”

Yoongi chuckles and meets your eyes as you look at him with a snicker crinkling your features. He shakes his head and breaks the eye contact, the chuckle still remains on his lips. Feeling very warm in your chest, you begin washing two portions of rice until the water is clear. You put it into the rice cooker and turn it on. It starts with a short jingle.

Now that you have time and nothing to do, you dance back to Yoongi. You hug him from behind, sliding your hands under his yellow sweater to caress his tummy gently. You rest your cheek against his back. He leans into the hug, swaying from side to side as you control the slow dance. Goosebumps cover his skin instantly, amazing shivers run down his spine. This is such a simple connection, but it feels so comforting to both of you.

“I think I want meat in mine”, Yoongi says. He is almost finished with the vegetables, slowing down his cutting for the sole reason of enjoying the hug a little longer.

“Yeah? I could grill it for you”, you offer as you bask in the feeling of him with closed eyes. His tummy is so soft and his skin so tender. He is also so, so warm.

“Yes, I would like that”, he says.

“Okay okay”, you say and kiss his back. You give him a little squeeze and then slip away from him again.

Yoongi glances at you, missing your hug now that it is gone.

“Thank you”, he says.

“Of course”, you answer him as you stir the boiling water, “how long do we have to cook the curry?”

“It should be done in twenty minutes”, he tells you, carrying the cutting board to the stove, “careful, love”, he warns so you could step aside and he can scoop the vegetables into the boiling water.

“I’ll start with the grilling after ten minutes I think”, you say.

“Yeah, sounds good to me. Could you please bring me some bay leaves and a cinnamon stick?”

“Coming right up”, you say, hurrying to the spice rack, “will we put cinnamon into the curry?”

“Yeah, just for a short time. It adds a lot of warmth to the taste. It goes well with the season.”

He is seasoning the curry as you and he are talking.

“I like that. Warm food tastes so much better in the colder months. Wow Yoongi, yesterday was such a nice day. The weather was so cold and gloomy. I was really happy.”

“Mhm yeah, yesterday was nice.”

“I need to finally put leaves on the vegetable beds. Otherwise it’ll get too cold for it.”

“Yeah, right. Do you need help with it?”

“No, I can manage but thank you so much.”

“Of course. If you change your mind, you can tell me.”

“I will, thank you love.”

You return to Yoongi with the rest of the spices, inhaling deeply.

“Mhhhm this already smells amazing, wow”, you hum, moving in closer to waft the steam into your face for another whiff, “mhhm.”

“Yeah, it should taste good. You’ll like it.”

“Is it a special recipe?”

“No, not really. I thought of it myself. Put the spices in.”

You follow his order, watching them sink into the rich coloured liquid. Yoongi stirs it three times then places the spoon aside.

“I’m sure that it’ll taste amazing. Your recipes are always the best”, you say.

“Yeah uhm”, Yoongi doesn’t say anything else. Instead he walks to the sink to wash his hands.

You follow him, attacking him with a back hug so passionately, Yoongi stumbles from side to side. He laughs, pressing back into you while his hands find support by grasping the edge of the sink.

“You’re such a Boongie”, you mumble into his sweater, squeezing him tightly, “mhm Yoongi, I wanna squish you.”

“Okay, okay I get it”, Yoongi laughs and turns in your arms, “release me before I die of asphyxiation.”

“Asphyxiation the man says as if I have enough strength to choke you to death”, you say in a cackle.

“Hm no, you don’t”, Yoongi agrees and lifts his right hand to flick droplets of water into your face.

“Ah! Hey! Don’t do that”, you squeak, laughing loudly as you wipe your face dry by rubbing it into his sweater.

Yoongi chuckles, “sorry, the opportunity was too tempting not to take it. Are you okay?”

“No, I’m not. I was attacked”, you joke, making him laugh.

“Sorry”, he says and rests his cheek on your shoulder, closing his eyes as he does. He always closes his eyes when you and he hug. It’s like an instinct to him.

“It’s okay, don’t worry. Mhm Yoongi, my love”, you say, snuggling into him as your arms tighten around him once again, “you’re so Boongie.”

“What even is a Boongie?”

“What do you mean? A Boongie is exactly how you are. Sweet and cute and full of love and so, so squishable. Yeah, that’s a Boongie.”

Yoongi chuckles, “okay, if you say so. I feel honoured then.”

You nod your head, lifting it a second later so you could meet his eyes.

“Can I kiss you?” you ask him.

“Yeah please”, he allows you with his sparkly eyes flitting to your lips.

You close in for a kiss, meeting Yoongi in the middle because he will always lean in for kisses.

“Mhm”, he hums, cupping your cheek while his right arm closes around your waist.

“Hm”, you answer him, hooking your fingers behind his neck.

You and he lose yourselves in the moment while the curry boils on the stove happily and the radio sings its songs.

Sometimes days aren’t good, but that doesn’t mean that with the right company they can’t turn into good days.

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softpine · 19 days

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can i just word vomit for a min...

there was a point in late 2023 where i felt like i overstayed my welcome on simblr and i planned on just wrapping frozen pines up as quickly as possible and moving on. continuing to write when it's clear that the audience for it is dwindling felt so embarrassing that i almost didn't even want to put effort into it anymore, because i was afraid it just looked pathetic (obligatory disclaimer: no one made me feel this way, you're all so lovely, it's just the nature of seeing a community change over 7 years). writing already feels very personal to me and it's becoming increasingly harder for me to put my work out there (again, for reasons unrelated to simblr and entirely related to mental illness 🤙🏻). i know my story is so long that it deters new readers, and so sporadic that it makes old readers drop off with time. this has really been bothering me lately because i don't know what i can do to fix it. i don't think there IS anything i can do.

but. okay. don't make fun of me for saying this. dan and phil returning to youtube kinda changed my mindset? they may be pulling a fraction of the views they got in their peak, but they're happier than they've ever been and they're working on things they actually want to do, not things they think will be particularly popular. seeing that has made me realize that it is possible to keep finding joy in a community that has largely moved on without you. obviously my little blog is nowhere near the same scale, so this feels kind of silly, but i've been thinking about all the things i used to do on simblr that were never fun for me, i mainly did them because i knew they would get notes or because i felt like i had to do it. making cc, lookbooks, sim requests, reshade help (oh my god the reshade help), lot downloads, etc. they DID get notes, but i can't imagine spending my time doing any of that stuff ever again tbh.

on top of that, it makes me sad to scroll through my dash and realize that i don't recognize most of the people i see anymore. i still talk to some wonderful people here who i consider friends and that's invaluable to me (💖), but the broader community aspect is something i no longer feel a part of. and believe me, i know i'm at fault here because it's not like i'm going out of my way to talk to new people or participate in trends like i used to. i don't blame anyone except the passage of time!!

frozen pines, and simblr by extension, played such a gigantic part in my life when i needed it the most. and that's not to say that i don't still care about it, because i absolutely do, but it's a different kind of feeling. i've always promised that i would give frozen pines a satisfying conclusion rather than silently abandoning it someday, and though i do intend to keep that promise, i know it's possible that i might never get there. but i don't want to let my own insecurities get in the way of something i really enjoy doing. writing is an intrinsic piece of me that i'll never quit doing, but sharing my writing on tumblr is something that can't (and shouldn't) last forever. i know that. but i'm going to enjoy it to the fullest while we're all still here together 💞

to anyone who's still reading my silly story after all these years (especially those of you who still check in on my blog even though you're not on simblr anymore): thank you thank you thank you THANK YOUUU. you don't have to change a single thing about what you're doing. this is not me fishing for compliments or putting down an ultimatum, this is just me trying to make sense of my feelings.

but with all this being said, i've decided to quit simblr and start my own exclusive streaming service for $60 a year, i hope you'll all support me as i increase my production value 😌

(just kidding. ily. okay that's all)

#to be 100% clear this is not a goodbye - i'm literally halfway done with the next story post #just sort of an update on the state of my brain #👍🏻#btw...... sorry to Watcher fans lmaoo you guys really got the short end of the parasocial relationship stick..... </3 #that's not relevant to anything i've said here i've just spent way too much time thinking about how youtube has changed in the past 20 year #because i'm a loser that got really into youtube when i was 11 and never looked back #and then the watcher thing happened. and i was like ohhh if dan and phil did that to me i would have to die about it.

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uhdrienne · 4 months

Text

𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐝𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦𝐬 (𝐱.𝐦𝐡 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫)

💌 feat: idol!minghao x non-celebrity!reader (angst, i almost cried planning this oneshot)

💌 summary: once a dream relationship with the love of your life, now doomed to fail because of the media, you can only hope that minghao will think of you again -- even if it's in your wildest dreams.

💌 word count: 3.25k words

a/n: inspired by taylor swift's 'wildest dreams', bolded and italic words signify the lyrics!

"He said let's get out of this town, drive out of the city, away from the crowds..."

You sing the lyrics softly, looking out of the car window.

"Ironic," Your boyfriend chuckles from next to you, eyes trained ahead as he drives on the never-ending road, winding into evermore. "Exactly what we're doing now."

You let out a laugh, leaning your head on the window as he raises your interlinked hands to press a kiss on the back of your hand. "That we are, dear."

The sunset winds into the distance and shines, just the way you like it, and you pull out your camera, letting go of Minghao's hand to snap photos, much to his dismay.

"Hey," He nudges you after you're done admiring the way the oranges and yellows twist and intertwine in all the right places, and holds his hand out again. "Hold."

You pat his cheek affectionately and take his hand.

Thirty minutes later, the same man offers you his arm to hoist you up onto the roof of the van, where he insisted was the most beautiful place on earth.

You lay your head on his shoulder and sigh in content.

The sunset could shine all it wanted, and be the largest and prettiest thing in the sky, but nothing would beat the man who was currently nestled into your side, arms snug around you and smiling with the awe and love of a lifetime.

The photo you take of you two is now framed in your shared house, and your phone next to the photo frame buzzes and lights up.

"Happy two years dear, I love you to the moon and back. Sorry I had to go back to the city, but I promise I'll make it up to you."

───✱.｡:｡✱.:｡✧.｡✰──────✱

"Nothing lasts forever... but this is gonna take me down..."

"What did you say?"

"I'm sorry."

"No, no, Hao, don't be sorry," you cajole. "We'll be okay. What did the company say?"

"They'll be releasing a statement." Minghao sounds half-frustrated, half sad as he paces around, you can hear his footsteps scuffing the floor. "They're trying to do damage control, but the media is already eating it up. People are spreading the photos and I just-- I'm sorry you have to go through this. I know we wanted to keep us private."

"It was going to come out at some point," You sigh. "We both knew that."

"But it shouldn't have happened this way." Minghao counters.

"I know," You murmur, "But don't think too much and worry. We'll be fine. I love you, and I'll see you tonight, okay?"

With the promise of seeing him and spending the night together, you hang up.

Two years is a lot, you tell yourself. He'll stick by you and you'll have the ending you always dreamed of with him.

But along with the consolation came a sense of dread. Were you convincing him or yourself?

───✱.｡:｡✱.:｡✧.｡✰──────✱

"I can see the end, as it begins, my one..condition..is…"

"Minghao?" Your voice is meek, so scared, soft and vulnerable.

Minghao hates the way the happiness in your voice has disappeared.

"Darling?"

"Th-there's reporters shouting outside," You say, clutching the phone tight as if you could gain comfort from it. "Lots of them with cameras. They... I think you might have been followed home last night. They probably waited for you to leave."

"Shit," he curses. "Wait for me, I'll be right there."

"No!" Your voice cuts through. "You can't. Y-you'll be ambushed. I know how scary the paparazzi can get. I just--"

"Baby," He says, tears welling up in his eyes, because you’re right. He would be torn to shreds. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, a million times over. You don't deserve any of this, I-"

"No more of that," You whisper, and he goes quiet. "I love you. All I need is you. If this is what we must go through for me to be with you... so be it."

"I love you," he chokes out through a haze of tears and anguish. "I love you so, so, much, you have no idea."

"I love you too, Hao," You reply, and say that you'll hide out for a while so they'll leave before hanging up.

Minghao slumps down and cries like he's never cried before.

───✱.｡:｡✱.:｡✧.｡✰──────✱

"I said, "No one has to know what we do", his hands are in my hair, his clothes are in my room...And his voice is a familiar sound..."

"Baby!" He races to you, sitting in the living room, still slightly shaken. He engulfs you in a hug. "I'm so sorry, I'll be sorry for the rest of my life..."

"It wasn't your fault," You reply softly, pulling back to cup his face, drawn and blotchy with tears. "Love you lots."

He wipes at your eyes, slightly swollen with your tears, ears still ringing with the shouts and camera clicks, eyes still seeing stars with the flashes as you stepped out to threaten calling the police.

"I love you," He weeps, clutching at the material of your clothes. "Why can't I just love you without other people getting involved?"

And you don't have an answer to that, so you just pull him in and press your mouth to his. It's salty with his tears, and he's shaking, but he hugs you tight, grip firm and unwavering.

He whispers promises into your skin, swears to every higher being that he'll keep you safe, promises that he'll love you for the rest of his life, and no one could keep him away from you, you both were too strong together for that. He tells you things will get better, they have to.

You believe him as you come undone, the tears staining the sheets beneath you.

───✱.｡:｡✱.:｡✧.｡✰──────✱

"And when we've had our very last kiss...my last request...is.."

From that day on, everything changes, as much as you both vow to prevent it from happening.

Kisses are still shared, and movies are watched. His arms wind around you as you go to sleep, but those events are few and far between as he shuttles between you and the city, fulfilling his career.

When he comes home, he's either too tired to do anything, and you're not exactly inclined to ruin the one moment of peace he finally has for him.

What used to be a sanctuary of love and laughter and life, is now just an empty shell. Two people cohabiting in a desperate attempt to keep the flame kindled, huddling together for warmth.

You can feel it, and you know he can, too.

Things haven't gotten easier like he claimed. Your love hasn't dwindled one bit, but the media has only gotten more ferocious, even now hounding your workplace and regular haunts. You're practically confined within the walls of your home, either alone or with Minghao.

No more sunset dates. No more shared giggles under a blanket fort, no more pillow fights as he tackles you. No more late-afternoon cuddles as thin sunlight slants into the room. No more midnight instant noodle sessions. No more of anything. Silence overtakes, and the days drag by.

You know it's bubbling, the frustration, the anger at the media and at the world for being absolute busybodies, at Minghao (you don't know why), and at yourself.

And it's only a matter of time before it boils over.

───✱.｡:｡✱.:｡✧.｡✰──────✱

You explode in the worst way possible.

It starts when Minghao comes home, looking even more tired than usual. You don’t even look up to greet him anymore as he trudges into the room, simply humming in acknowledgement. The spark in your eyes long gone, your smile feigned.

Perhaps those were the tell-tale signs of a relationship long gone. The spark wasn’t there. None of the previous joy you felt when he came home was there.

Were you falling out of love with him? ..No, that couldn’t be it. You knew you loved him for years, ever since you set eyes on him at an art museum, and you would always love him. Now, you just felt nothing but sadness when you saw him. If it wasn’t love, you would have only felt indifference.

None of you spoke about the reporters. It was like they didn't exist, only you knew it was the opposite, with them clamouring outside, with no reprieve. It was to the point where you had to lock every door and window for fear they would break in. Yet, both of you avoided the topic like a taboo, while it loomed over your bond like a dark cloud.

You came to the conclusion that it wasn’t that you wanted this relationship to end, it was more like… you just knew it would.

What you had with Minghao would not end well. It would only end.

“Hey,” He speaks for the first time since coming home. “How was your day?”

“Nothing much,” You reply, and the kitchen goes silent.

He knew your day was nothing much. He knew why it was nothing much too. You couldn’t even go out without being mobbed by shouting reporters and blinding cameras. How well could your day have went?

“Dinner?” You ask, and he shrugs. “Sure.”

It was sad, really, you note, how quickly a conversation could end. So pitiful that a couple of over two years, who always never had enough to say to each other, had nothing to say now.

You finish dinner in silence, only the clinking of cutlery to fill in the vacancy of your voices.

After dinner he walks to the living room and you to your phone. You open up the three messages that have appeared to view them, but let out a shriek and throw your phone on the couch next to Minghao.

He raises his eyebrows at you in confusion and picks your phone up when you look back at him, eyes wide in panic.

His eyes widen the same way when he sees the graphic content of the message, the threat of the malicious sender reverberating through his mind.

“This— you…” He trails off.

“Is-is that a knife?!” You yelp. “This person just sent me a photo of a knife and threatened to kill me!”

“Baby, wait—” Minghao gets up and reaches for you, but you shrink back. “D-don’t.”

His jaw tightens as he registers the fact that you’re afraid of him. That a devil hiding behind a screen was enough to scare you away from him, the person who loved you to the ends of the earth.

“Okay.” He steps back. “Please…don’t be scared of me. I’m not going to hurt you.”

“Not you,” was your only whisper.

He furrows his eyebrows. “What?”

“Not you,” You speak up, slightly louder than before. “Just… the fact that the rumour is out, the media at our door… we no longer have anything to say to each other… it hurts me beyond what you know.”

“I’m trying, love,” Minghao says, quietly.

“I know you are,” You reply. “Like I said, it’s not your fault.”

“But you’re hurt,” Minghao protests. “I’m hurt too, you know? I can’t even bring you out, let you live a normal life and be with you as I want. It’s not fair to me, either.”

“Nothing was fair from the moment the articles broke,” You reply softly, tears coming to your eyes. “That what we have is seen like…a mistake. A sin. That you, just loving someone, is the greatest wrongdoing. That reporters found the need to stay at our door just for pictures of us. That someone found the need to threaten to kill me.”

“That’s not fair,” Minghao protests again, tears welling up too. “You’re not the only one suffering here. I am too! My career, my relationship, all of that shoved into the limelight. Do you know what that feels like?”

“I don’t,” You answer. “I know I will never fully understand your situation. All I’m asking is…can’t we just—”

“Pretend nothing happened? Go on with this?” Minghao’s voice cracks. “You don’t want that. You do not. We can’t.”

“Why not?” You ask.

“Because nothing will ever be the same! Nothing we do can let us go back to before. You are hurt and stuck here, I am done for, we are now shackled here—”

“Shackled?” You ask quietly. “Is this what it is?”

“No, I—”

“I think I’ve known for a while,” You say. “That it’s not ‘if’ we will end, it’s when we will.”

“W-What?”

“There isn’t anything there anymore, Hao,” You throw your hands up. “Hell, we don’t even have anything to say to each other!”

“What can I say?! That my career is half ruined, my relationship dying away, my fans threatening to end us both?!”

You turn away, wiping the tears off your cheeks. “You should go, Minghao. I...I don’t want to keep you here if you don’t want to be. I'm so sorry...”

"Why won't you fight for us?" His voice is a deathly whisper.

"What?"

"Why... I know it's hard but... why-why are you giving up?"

"Giving up...?"

"You gave up on us." He breaks into a sob. "We don't talk because every time I look at you, I can't help but keep thinking about how much better your life could have been. You could go on sunset drives whenever you want. You could have spent night after night in blanket forts without a care in the damn world, without worrying that one day someone's going to break the door down and do something to you. You-"

"Thinking like that was always meaningless without you, Hao," You let out a humourless laugh. "All I wanted to do those things with was you."

"We can still do it all," He says, striding towards you. "I told you. I won't leave you."

"But you have to." You murmur back. "I've seen the reports. You're one of the highest-rising stars now. You're worlds away from where I am. And just being me, being bombarded with attention like this, attention I don't want, day in and day out, it... it suffocates me."

"So that's it?" He asks dejectedly. "You don't want me anymore?"

"I do want you, it's all I want," You try to gesture, try to tell him what you mean, but he shakes his head.

"You used to say that with so much life. Now... it's like a stranger telling me that." You look at him, eyes pleading, tears spilling over.

He takes a step back, eyes scanning you like it's the last time he'll see you. "I'm so, so sorry I put you through this. I-I'll go. I'll go now."

He comes forward and cups your face. He leans in, and kisses your forehead. The delicate action and gentleness of it all, combined with the salty tang of his tears, makes you tear up again.

“Say you remember me, standing in a nice dress, staring at the sunset, babe…”

You register the front door closing behind him. He’s gone, and God knows if he’ll ever return.

That night, you turn off the lights, make sure the windows are closed, but you leave the wooden door unlocked. You never locked it when he hadn’t come back.

You tuck yourself in, the way you like it, the way Minghao does it, and fall into a fitful sleep, the last words you uttered to each other ringing in your head.

When you wake up the next morning, Minghao hasn’t come back.

Something just tells you he won’t return this time.

───✱.｡:｡✱.:｡✧.｡✰──────✱

“Red lips and rosy cheeks, say you’ll see me again…” The tinny sound from the aged record player plays, prompting you to hum along to the tune.

“XU MINGHAO, singer, makes record-breaking return to the stage, set to perform...”

“Three years on — where is XU MINGHAO’s mysterious ex-partner now?”

“Woman spotted outside his apartment — liar or lover?”

You close the papers.

You smile. He’s on top of the world, just like he dreamed.

And you… you were just here. Alone, but moderately content, and at peace.

The media had left you alone from the third week that Minghao didn’t return. They probably deemed you less newsworthy, you muse, as you pour yourself another cup of coffee.

You sip coffee as you sift through your mail. You pick up an envelope, and smile at your friend’s invitation to an awards ceremony. Knowing that you were a fan of one of the performing ballad singers, she, as part of the management team, had taken it upon herself to secure you a ticket.

You get up and stretch. It was time to go to the city.

───✱.｡:｡✱.:｡✧.｡✰──────✱

"And now, winning the most prestigious award of the night, the Artist of the Year..." The announcer smiles, stage makeup bold and sparkling against the lights. She steals a look at the card in her hand, takes a deep breath.

"Xu Minghao!"

Your hand flies to your mouth as the big screen shows his face, smiling as he waves, bows, and walks to the stage. You don't look out of place, as just about every fangirl is doing the same. Tears come to your eyes and you blink them away.

He's just as dashing as ever. Decked in a smart suit and jacket to match, with small, sleek hoops in his ears, and lips curved in a charming smile, he accepts the award and addresses the crowd.

"I...I'm beyond honoured to stand here today," His eyes dart about, trying to capture every pair of eyes from his vision. "You know I owe just about everything to my fans, new and old, my family, and my friends who've been with me through everything."

He visibly swallows. "And there's one more person, one really, really special person I want to thank."

He stretches out his hand and smiles as if beckoning to someone, and a beautiful lady hesitantly steps up, dressed in a gorgeous champagne-coloured gown, soft curls in her hair, a bounce in her step.

"She saw me through the darkest period of my life," He says, clutching onto the lady's hand like a lifeline. "From strangers to friends, from friends to lovers, I want her to know she's my day one."

The cameras and fans go wild, everyone clamouring to get a better glimpse as the woman smiles at him, full of adoration like he once used to look at you, and they share an embrace on the stage, the host cutting in to sing praises of the newly hard-launched couple.

Meanwhile, you sit, rooted to your place, as you watch them. But it isn't overwhelming sadness that engulfs you. It isn't any form of bitterness or resentment. The sweet tang of pride, that he can now freely love, and gratitude, that his new love was doing what you failed to, rests on your tongue.

You rise to your feet. As you're in a row closer to the front, it isn't hard to get out. As you walk towards the exit, you glance back one last time, only to have shock rain down on you as he locks eyes with you from the stage.

The shock dies away swiftly, only to be replaced by soft joy. You smile slightly and nod at him once, with nothing but sincerity in your eyes, and watch the relief sag on his shoulders as he smiles and nods back. Even with no words shared, he knows you've both found your ending.

"Even if it's just in your wildest dreams, ah, huh..."

───✱.｡:｡✱.:｡✧.｡✰──────✱

writer's note:

first ever oneshot and this was...sad? but also i wrote this in one day and almost decided not to publish it because it was so rough lol

but please enjoy! any feedback and interactions are welcome :> thank you for reading!!

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