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#'do you want to take pills for all your life?' idk man if they make me want to not kill myself MAYBE SO

fluff-n-cookies · 3 months

Note

I love your soft platonic yanderes! I was wondering- how would Overhaul react with a queer child?-

Heyyy

thank you! I'd be happy to write this. Btw your art looks awesome! I like your oc's too! do they have a description? love to read it!

and in my mind he's kind of like Adrian Monk but a thousand times bitchier and I made them headcanons since we can cover more ground this way. as always fem reader in mind.

TW- use of Y/n and soft yandere tendencies

Overhaul genuinely does not give a fuck.

that's it.

we're done.

This man's whole existence is dedicated to keeping you alive

no where in the contract does it say he has to keep you mentally sane.

because in his eyes you are simply a child. now and forever. he needs to keep you clean, very clean, keep you healthy, and make it so you know the basics of being a human, be polite to him and others most of the time, and take care of yourself.

because with Overhaul he simply wants to keep you safe and healthy since you matter to him and he refuses to have his dear Y/n be tainted by the cruel world he grew up in.

mind you that he did not grow up in a world made mostly out of those who are queer.

so when you feel comfortable enough to come out him it goes something like this.

Y/n : "overahaul,

*deep breath of how the hell am I going to say this*

I'm queer!"

*preps to be yelled at.* (girl Idk, my friends just assume I'm gay.)

and Overhaul's immediate reaction is to fell back all the way back in his chair and yell

"IS IT CONTAGIOUS?!?!?!?!"

as he scrambles for the hand sanitizer and the medical masks because he genuinely thinks it's a disease.

chrollo has to step in and explain to him what it is so he doesn't end up hospitalizing you.

once he comes to terms that you are in fact, perfectly healthy and have simply peculiar taste in things and are different from what many people would consider normal.

he'll simply go on with life.

as in he still takes care you, talks to you as normal,does his regular kooky man with a OCD problem things.

now one may think he doesn't care but they would do so, so, so wrong.

he just thinks it's as normal as having dyed hair or liking cats more than dogs or taking medication that's liquid over pills.

just another thing that adds to how special and unique you are.

every now and then he'll get you a little pride flag or pin (sanitized ofc) but that's as much as he'll do unless you ask for it.

because to him,

your amazing and unique and ever so incredible and is willing to love you no matter what you are.

unless it's not human and/or is a hero then fuck you.

hope this is what you wanted now byyyeee

#yandere mha #yandere bnha #soft yandere #soft yandere x reader #child reader #daughter reader #teen reader #overhaul x daughter reader #yandere kai chisaki #yandere kai #yandere overhaul x reader #yandere overhaul #kai chisaki #kai chisaki x reader #platonic yandere overhaul

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writersarchivex · 2 years

Text

All I Want: Elvis x Reader

Summary: You decide it's time to let him go. Leave it behind. He begs you to stay.

warnings: adult language

word count: 1243

elvis x reader

you can imagine him as austin or as the real elvis, whatever floats your boat.

enjoy, or don't your choice.

theres a prompt that belongs to @hudsonvegasgirl ill put it in bold.

idk why the prompt looks like that wtf.

It took you three months to decide. Three long months of basic torture.

You had been doing nothing but taking care of your daughter and cleaning up after him. Trying to keep him at least alive.

You had nothing more to give anymore. It had all been drained from you.

He wasn't completely to blame; Elvis was just trying to be someone. Make everyone proud. You respected it.

You could no longer live with it.

Your daughter hadn't spent longer than fifteen minutes at a time with her father, in over two months. You haven't seen him for dinner. He hasn't been there. Except at night, to sleep.

Maybe some in the morning.

She hasn't had her father, and you haven't had your husband.

He was a ghost, a puppet.

He belonged to the Colonel, and to the show business. The only time he was happy as when he was on the stage, or out. Out, doing God knows what.

Three months.

You couldn't do it anymore.

That morning you woke up early, trying to be as quiet as possible. He was a hard sleeper from the beginning. With the pills, he was a bear. It was nearly impossible to wake him.

You were still quiet as a mouse, not to take any chances.

You weren't going to do wrong by him, though. Or your daughter.

The two of you would talk later that day, to avoid Lisa Marie hearing the two of you fight. The fighting had been endless.

You made your way through the house doing your best to get the things the two of you would need.

Mainly what Lisa needed, you would survive without your things. You just wanted your daughter to be in a healthy environment.

To be in a loving environment.

You had but most of the things you and Lisa would need in the car, that was outside and running, and you had woken her up gently, telling her that the two of you were going on a little vacation.

She would be back of course. He's her father and you would never take her from him. She needed him, and he needed her.

She was outside with Jerry, waiting on you to finish up.

You made your way quietly to the bedroom you shared with Elvis. Everything you needed had been removed. You moved quickly this time, becoming more nervous with each step. You turned to the dresser to check for any clothing you had left behind, when you heard him stir.

"Y/N? What're you doin" He grumbled sitting up to look at you.

You sighed, wishing the man would've just stayed asleep.

"Im leaving you Elvis, and I'm taking Lisa with me." You sighed, not wanting to fight while you daughter was nearby.

You moved towards the bedside table and grabbed one of the photos leaving the rest for him.

"Is this 'bout what happens on the road?" He asked, rubbing his temples.

You sighed and shook your head.

"The girls? No. You think I give a shit about the girls you sneak through the side door,"

You walked into the bathroom throwing open his drawer. He was following you still looking tired.

"I couldn't care less about the girls you sneak through the side door. It's about this,"

You through two bottles at him. Feeling tears prickle at your eyes

"And this!" You threw a couple more.

You loved him, but you were angry.

You wanted to be mature about this. You were parents, not children.

"It's about these. These goddamn pills those leeches and has-beens shove down your throat!"

You stormed out of the bathroom, him following you muttering a soft "God damn it."

You were making your way quickly through the upstairs while he was trying to keep up.

"Like your strung out."

"Strung out? Goddamn, I'm in the best shape of my life."

"Best shape of your life? The only time you are happy is when you are on that stage, and in between that you're a ghost."

The two of you were walking down the stairs, your arms full of sentimental items.

"Y/N I give you everything you could want!" He threw his arms up, starting to return the anger you were feeling.

"What I want is a husband! You've never known what I wanted, and you sure as hell don't give it to me." You spat, reciving a hurt look from him.

"I am your wife! I am your wife." You repeat, letting a tear slip down your cheek.

"And Lisa is your daughter, and she needs a father." You say, turning on your heels. You were finally headed for the door.

"I am her father."

You slowed at this and turned to face him.

Your voice was shaky and embarrassingly small.

"Do you remember the last time we laughed together? The last time the three of us had dinner together?"

You had started crying, placing the box you held on to the floor.

"You won't even touch me anymore."

He looked at you with sad eyes, and he was supporting his weight on the rail of the stairs.

"I've given you my life. I have nothing left in me to give you baby." You sobbed.

His eyes were the blueest you've ever seen them. You loved his eyes.

"Do you still love me?" He asked softly.

You wanted to scream yes and run back to him. Of course you did, he was your life. The father of your child.

He shook his head and slowly sat on the stairs.

He exhaled deeply

"When your forty and I'm fifty, we'll be back together. You'll see." He was looking at the ground.

Your heart broke for him. For you. Most of all for your daughter.

You gave in, just a little, and walked towards him slowly. He buried his head in your stomach and cried, like you've never heard him cry before.

He gripped forcefully to the back of your shirt; you knew you had to wrap it up.

"I have to go." You tried to take a step back, but he held you in place.

You got a little space between you, and you knelt to look at him. You took his face in your hands.

"Will you please stay?" He sobbed, looking at you with those sad eys.

"Baby you're sick. This isn't good for you. For me, for Lisa! I love you more than anything EP, but I have to protect her."

You weren't being stern; you were speaking to him with kindness.

You kissed all over his face. Wiping the tears away.

"Please stay mama, I'll get better, I'll quit with the pills. Anything you want. Don't leave, don't leave me. "

"I promise you. On my mother's grave I'll get better, I can't do it without you baby."

You held him closer, knowing that he truly meant what he said.

He would never put something like that on his mother's grave.

"No pills?"

He shook his head.

"You spend more time with Lisa?"

He nodded; face still covered in tears.

"You get healthy and start taking care of yourself?"

He nodded, staying silent.

You sighed, knowing the last part was the most personal for you.

You had tried to pretend like it didn't matter, but it does to you.

"No more, no more girls?" You let another tear slip.

"No more. I'll go to a real doctor. I'll get better, I swear it."

You nodded, looking around at your home and all the memories of your years there.

"Okay EP."

He looked up at you still clinging to your waist.

"You'll stay darlin?" He let out another sob.

"Lisa will go stay with my parents for a while. She'll think it's a vacation. This is it Elvis, the last chance."

He nodded, burying his face in your shirt again.

"Anything. Anything for you Y/N."

#elvis x reader #elvis presley #elvis presley fanfic #elvis 2022 #austin butler #austin elvis #elvis presley imagine #elvis presley x reader #elvis film #elvis #elvis movie #austin butler elvis

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vinetae · 1 year

Note

idk if this will spark an idea in your bones but currently im just like thinking of mafia member jimin who finds dog hybrid oc after busting an operation and she's like not okay? and is just like soft and shit for her but like slowly falls in love with her or something idk it's just a running idea in my head and i wanted to dump it somewhere

... so if it inspires you i'd love to see this blab written down 💗

Jasmine and Vanilla - M

Pairings: Jimin x Dog Hybrid!Reader (Ft. ???!Jungkook)

Genre: Hybrid!AU, Yandere!AU

Summary: Life had been well in the labs. As swell as one could get when you're the main subject for a breeding facility. One storm night, your whole routine world is shaken upside down. Left is right, and right is left. When you're finally faced with freedom, you don't know what to do. luckily, you've got the best alpha- ahem. I mean person to help you along in the new world. However, what will happen when your biology is pinned against you?

Warnings: Force-feed, suggestive smut, 18+, mentions of guns, blood, gore, murder, death, and more death, yandere themes, clingy!Reader, HEATS (I know I love those types of tags ;) ), Dog hybrid anatomy, mentions of pills and heat suppressants, Cursing, foul language, and Jungkook's kind of annoyed with reader lol.

The metal doors slide open. Vapors or white and reds smoke the room like a disease. Blurring every sight you could see. Men of all shapes and sizes dressed in white lab coats. A harsh force shoves your arm.

“Get a move on, Seven.”

There’d been plenty of others before you. Each of the girls had different numbers assigned when admitted to the facility. Each color represented every room. Yellow for yard time. That’s when you’d usually be allowed a few minutes outside of the doors, to read a book or something. They had said fresh air had been good for the specimens.

Whatever that meant.

“Ah, good morning my dear.” His face crinkles with age. The lab coat washes out his tones, making it seem as if he’d been a paranormality floating around these halls. The droop in his eyes sign years onto his body. Gravity taking a toll like nothing else.

“We’ve got a special one for you, Juje.” He motions towards the tall figure standing large in the corner of the room. His upper half had already been exposed. Sweat beads drip down his reddened skin, as his chest heaves with anger. Your nose twitches at the putride stretch.

He wasn’t your kind, that’s for sure.

The old man smiled, switching his eyes from yours, back to the feral man’s. A bright and promising grin curls the corner of his lips.

“Well? Go on.” You’d been too caught up in the brooding male’s aura. His body’s light burned with a deep, crimson red. Almost as dark and menacing as the hues of blood. His eyes narrowed, chest rising and puffed from exhaustion. A metal strap coiled around the base of his neck. His pure white ears perked in alert. Body coercing a fighting stance, looking like he’d been ready to pounce at any slimmer of threats that could present.

The professor’s white tinted and unkempt eyebrows raised, motioning you closer to the stranger.

A few seconds drip by, as if the world had taken a pause. Just looking at this person made your head feel like a brick had swung at you. Breath, caught by something dark and coiled. Your legs trembled with slight fear arising. He took quick notice of your prey-like stance, softening his features. A grumbled and raspy voice can barely be audible in your mind. As if someone had paused on a staticky radio station.

“H-Here.” Is all you could make out. Your eyebrow quirks in confusion. What did he mean by this? Obviously he doesn’t want to be here, but that was a weird word to say. Nobody even knew where ‘here’ was anyways..

A clap of the professor’s hands pulls the both of you from your little ‘guess the word’ game. He snaps, pointing at the two of you.

“Let’s get them in the glass.”

–

By ‘glass’ he’d meant the transparent arena. You see, there’d been four quadrants of this place. Sector One held all of the ‘potentials’ as they liked to call it. Sector Two had all of the rainbow rooms. Playgrounds, some toys they think we’d enjoy, reading corners, and the yards. Sector Three had the labs and incubator rooms. Your friend Yuna went missing a couple weeks ago. She’d always been a bit on the timid side. Ever since being brought into this place, she’d become your best friend. You two read together, watched movies when allowed, and slept in the same quadrants. She’d disappeared three weeks ago.

After asking around, some rumor had made its way through the sectors. Saying that she’s been taken to Four. Nobody knew what Four had been. Knew what it held.

You hadn’t seen her since.

The bright fluorescent lights switch on, as a generator grows loud in the back. The whole room lights up with blinding rays of prosthetic glints. Your body flings forward, dropping to your knees instantly.

You knew this routine.

Ever since your first heat had started, you’d been taken to what the other numbers had called ‘the white room’. This was your least favorite of all.

The metal syringe digs deep past the outer layer of your skin. Piercing the nearly-healed scab in the middle of your forearm. Your eyes wince in pain, biting into your tongue muscle as a sort of relief from the pain. Soon, the effects kick in. You could feel the heat rise in the pit of your stomach, pushing your heart rate to a maximum. Every breath felt vile and disturbed. Your vision begins to blur, as you see the previous male’s form curled up on the floor. They’d injected him with the same shit. With each movement of your feet it felt like ten-thousand knives stabbing at your body. Your hands reach out, desperate to try and hold onto something to combat the excruciating pain. Mumbled and rung-drawn voices echo in your ears. This felt like hell. No, scratch that.

This was Hell.

Past the ringing and screams in your head, a few voices drew back into mind. One, being the professor’s shouts to the henchmen. Before they reached the wheezing hybrid, his body went still. Limbs, no longer grasping at the flooring for help. Chest, rid of its dry heaves.

The man dressed in black bent down, and checked his wrist. He sighs, standing up. Taking a glance at the professor.

“Dead.”

–

The grandfather clock stood against the wall. Tall and demanding was its stand. The little point of the hand ticks away, rounding until its final destination. Just to start over once more. Jimin takes in a deep breath while cracking out the pent of air bubbles between the joints in his knuckles. He’d been staring at the paperwork for the last four hours. Back curved into a position unnatural and unhealthy for creatures of any kind. He’s quick to rise, scooting the roll of his chair out from up under him. Back stretched out as much as he could muster, shaking off the aches between his shoulder blades. Reaching to pack up his things to close out the office for the night, until a quick-eyed man bursts through the gold-emblemed doors.

“Boss!”

Jimin lets out a groan, eyeing the out-of-breath male. His staggered beats of his chest, out of sync to his lips. His hair had looke dragged and rough, with the ends all frizzed up from his previous workout routines he loved to do.

“This better be good, Jungkook. Do you know how many papers I just had to sign?”

Jungkooks nods, huffing in a deep breath to calm himself. Once he’s settled down, he continues. “Taehyung’s got something on your emmadyne thingy.” Jimin’s eyebrows quirk up, quickly forgetting all of the grievances of his work he just had to suffer through.

“And?” He ticks, moving closer to Jungkook, crossing the gold-decorated tiles of the floors.

The younger’s face drops to a serious look. Brown eyes flicking with gold specs the way they do when he’s excited about something.

“They’ve got it.”

The two rush past the elongated halls. Meeting in the corridor which held the rest of his group. Yoongi’s head cranes towards the side, spoofing at the dramatic entrance.

“Slow down, you two. Jesus, where’s the fire?” He chuckles, snapping on the belts of his bulletproof vest. Tightening the straps in one go, as he shifts his working hands to the firearm holsters coiled around his thigh.

“In his eyes,” Namjoon quirks back, breaking his usual straight and unbothered demeanor, chuckling at their little joke. He too had been working on the bindings of their protective gear, making sure they'd be no way in penetration from any shot-gunning source.

“Ah, the most beautiful shade of boring brown I’d ever seen.” Hoseok flushes up behind Jimin’s tight figure, slinging around the leader of this operation.

“Shut up, all of you.” Jimin gripes, snatching up the extra vest for himself. They’d all sported some expensive looking attire. Namjoon’s figure had been wrapped in a nice, satin purple suit. The white button up collared shirt paired underneath his broad and built exterior. Jimin had always been secretly jealous of his hyung’s physique. Especially when he heard all of the screams and moans at two in the morning. He could swing anybody, and that pissed Jimin off the most.

“Ah, all’s in a good day’s fun, isn’t that right Jiminie?” Hoseok pokes, flashing a wide smile as he snaps the magazine of his pistol into place, cocking the small firearm before aiming it towards one of the members. Taehyung rolls his eyes at his meaningless threat.

“You do this every time, hyung.” He groans, belting up his jeans to fit around his circumfrenced hips.

Hoseok lowers the tip, before letting one shot echo through the room. He smirks at the shattered window’s glass, now scattered into pieces. They all whip around in shock.

“Huh, looks like someone’s getting more confident in his little toy guys, huh?” Yoongi jokes, letting out a deep breath before plopping into the comforting couch’s hold.

Jimin’s voice yells out, scolding the elder for shattering his windows. “Yah! Take your hoplophile ass out of my house before I bury you where that bullet landed!” The group all lets out a fit of chuckles, teasing at the younger male’s threat.

“Yeah yeah. Sure you would, Jimin-ah.” Namjoon breaks the semi-circle, making a bee-line towards the kitchen.

“Jimin, you rescued a baby bird from your backyard.” Jin comments, throwing the weight of his light bag across his shoulder in preparation. He walks past the younger, patting his shoulder gently.

“Yeah dude. We all know you’re just a big softie.” Taehyung quips, flashing a smile towards his best friend as he laces up his combat boots.

“Fuck you guys. I don’t even know why I let you in on this mission anyways.” Jimin gripes, angrily shuttling his feet into the comfort of his matte black combat boots. The set matches the rest of the member’s attires.

“Because you need us!” Namjoon teases, walking out the door with a little granola bar gripped in hand.

“Like hell I do! I could do this all by myself.” He yells out, sticking out his middle finger to the way that Namjoon had exited.

“No, no you couldn’t Jimin.” Jungkook finally chimes in before walking past his leader, saluting a pat on his back before following Namjoon out the door.

Today had gone by pretty quickly. More than the usual days. Today had just been filled with a white silence. With finishing the rest of your little series you’d started a few days ago. It had been about this cool place that had these things that could tell you all about the world in just a matter of seconds. With so many games that you usually play with the other numbers, but this had been on a little computer. It’s so tiny, you could hold it in your hands. It had shown pictures and drawings of how it worked. Actually, a few weeks ago, you’d try creating a little replica of the ‘device’ (that’s what they called it in your books anyways.)

You went to go show one of the other numbers, but they had just scoffed and walked away. You asked around the cares, who’d been taking care of you all. They had said it wasn’t real though. Saying that nothing that smart could fit into your pocket. She called it ‘fiction’.

You’d be a little sad after those few days. Finally accepting that they’re right. There was no way that something like that could ever exist. You let out a sigh, falling into the comfort of your little white bed. The book held close to your chest, smiling at the dreams you had of all the things you’d read about.

“It’s not real.” A frown peaks your features, fading your smile. You lean over, turning out the little press light that had been screwed to your side bed. You pull the comfort of your thick blanket over your shivering body, sighing as you begin to fall into a deep sleep, enjoying the peace and quiet.

A loud boom shakes you awake. Weird, high-pitched sounds echo the halls, your hands covering your sensitive ears. You whine out, pain feeling as if it was about to burst inside your head. You try to use the thick of your blanket to block out the loud noise, but it has been no use. The rest of the numbers had woken up, sharing the same reactions you’d experienced. A few muffled howls ran down the halls, as the male species had been crying out from the sounds. Your hands press against the shell of your ears, protecting the sensitive things from damage. A bright red light illuminates from the door’s lower crack, as the bolted and pad-locked door pops open. A woman’s monetized voice calls out repeatedly.

“All systems down. All systems down. Sector One, Two, Three and Four. Alert. Alert. All systems down.”

Your feet plop to the white floors, peaking out of the little doorway that had been swung open from the mechanics. Bodies rush past the halls, big and black heavy looking items cross their chests as they march in sync quickly through the corridors. Stomps and footsteps barely even touch the volume of the unfamiliar voice, and sirens blaring out. Your body slips past the groups of guards, head flicking back and forth as a puddle of red liquid pools at the soles of your feet. You gasp, seeing the gasping man’s hand outreach towards your paralyzed body. You quickly kneel down, barely able to keep your food down at his side’s seeping hole. The blood had been soaking through his black padded vest. His head flops to the side. Eyes running cold and lifeless. His body goes still, much like how the other male’s had done in the glass room. An icy shiver runs up your whole body, gagging at the stench of his drying blood puddle.

A door swings open, as more men rush through, not even taking notice of your knelt figure over this man’s dead body. A figure walks into the far away door entrance, coming back out with a large item in grip. A loud boom echoes once more, as the click of the large item pops back into place. He continues those motions, aiming the tip of the unusual object past your kneeled frame. An idea pops into your head.

Sneaking past the groups of people rushing by, you make it to the object room. The light above had been flickering, making your eyes strain from the unpatterned flashes. A man’s deep voice could be heard from the outside.

“She’s not in her board. Find her!”

You flinch, quick to grab anything and everything that you could easily hold onto. Running past those groups, a few yell out, as footsteps follow behind you. You wrap the thin cloth quick around your face, wiping the blood that had stained your hands onto the white of your knee-length dress. Your feet drag along the blood stained and dirty floors, ducking down, hiding from the swarms of officers.

Your stomach felt tight. The knot in your throat was about to burst. Heart pounding in your chest, as you clutch the skinny object to your chest, trying to calm your heavy breathing to keep quiet. The pain from the sirens had died down. Or maybe you’d just gotten used to it. Like everything in this place.

You take in a deep breath, ready for anything that comes your way.

“Damn it, Taehyung! I told you not to push that button!” The three run down the halls.

“Fuck! I knew we should’ve gone with sector B, fucking idiots!” Yoongi curses, as the three teammates rush through the elongated halls. Red lights spin with alarm, making all hairs on their bodies stand up.

“Yeah well if Taehyung hadn’t tried pressing all those damn buttons then we wouldn’t be in this hot shit!”

“Yah! How was I supposed to know that ‘red’ meant that the fucking alarms would turn on!?!”

“Don’t you know anything about the color red? Or buttons for that matter?? NEVER push the button! Especially if it’s red!”

“You two cut it out. We don’t have much time for your stupid lover’s quarrel.”

“We’re not fucking dating-”

“Yeah yeah. The whole ‘I hate Taehyung with everything in my guts and I want him to burn’ really isn’t all that threatening now. Especially from what I heard last night-”

“Shut up! All of you! God, it’s like I’m a fucking babysitter! Joon, you take Exit C. Taehyung, tag along. I don’t need you and Yoongi to kill each other. Just wait ‘til after the mission before you rip each other’s throats out.”

“Whatever.”

“Yoongi, You go check their command center. See if you can disable the alarm. See someone? Shoot them.”

“Damn,” Yoongi lets out a chuckle, popping one of his bullets into the guard's chest cavity with ease as he continues the conversation with his groupmates.

“Our Jimin-ah is growing up now?” He teases as the four of them run down through the halls.

“Hyung, shut the fuck up before-”

“Yeah yeah, you’ll bury me next to Hoseok. You gotta come up with better threats, Jiminie. They’re really lacking in-” He cocks the pistol, capping one of the men in a millisecond without breaking eye contact with his younger friend.

“I’ll take Two.” Taehyung joins in, feet trudging behind as his chest heaves with exhaustion. For a bunch of fit looking men, they hadn’t been the best in shape. Well, maybe that had just been Taehyung. \

“Great,” Jimin comments, cocking the grip of his gun back, aiming it towards the floor before following a police officer's stance in firearms. “I’ll take One. Joon, you rush Three. Yoongi-”

“Yeah yeah I’ll take Four.”

The alarms had died down, but what little strength you held onto with that small object never faltered. You knew there had to be a way out of this place, you just didn’t know where. Eyes screwed shut, you try and think back to the very first time you’d been brought to this place.

___

A blinding light beams above, while the sound of clicking shoes echoes the barren halls. The white walls had been stained with an eerie and death-march like tone. Your stomach churned at the feeling.

A small framed woman stands sturdily at the little front desk, as your mother walks up to the counter, leaving you all alone. A few words were exchanged, and soon she’d been bending down to kiss your cheek.

The woman standing behind the desk had made her way to your side, and reached down to grab your arm. You immediately twist your body around, trying to free yourself of her grip. You watched as the flowing red skirt of your mother’s body had swayed with a final goodbye. Black tall heels clicked against the tiled floors, as the metal doors slam shut. You cry out, biting down onto the woman’s arm to race towards the door. Your young legs are still getting used to the motions of walking, much less running. Soon, they’d given out. Your body fell at the feet of the closed doors, as a set of two heavily armed men grip at your arms, binding your tiny hands with a device-like cuff. Your whole body screams out in pain. Feeling as if your soul was being ripped from your body.

______

That’s all you remembered. The woman you called home. Who fed you. Bathed you. Called you hers, had abandoned you. Throwing you into the closet with all the monsters, instead of telling you there are none. No kisses on your forehead, no being tucked in at night after a nice warm glass of milk.

Just complete darkness.

A deep voice echoes through the halls, as you’re pulled from the horrors of your childhood. Hand firmly gripping onto the little sharp object you’d possessed from one of the countertops in this crumbling place. The blood on your dress, a reminder to keep your mouth shut. No matter who had been in here, you knew it was to bring trouble.

______

Jimin’s hands trail along the counter’s messed up, once neatly filed paperworks, shoving the useless pieces off in search for his prized possession. He sighs, bending at the knees in hopes that there’s a safe somewhere in this dumpster fire of a shit-hole. Feeling all around for some sign of a capsule or armory to keep his family’s heirloom in.

“I swear to God if these mother fuckers- Ah!” A figure lunges from up under the desk as he falls backwards, back hitting the floor with a hard thud. Their hand reaches down, pressing the sharp point of a scalpel to the bottom of his throat. He’s quick to disarm the attacker, flipping the two over until he’s the one on top with the scalpel’s point to their throat. Their hands scratch and grip at his wrists, but it had been no use. His body towered there any day. Whether it be rain or shine, hail or thunder. Their voice whines out, high-pitched and scarred with fear. His thumb presses the tiny, makeshift knife deeper into their throat, watching as a trickle of blood drips down their skin. The figure’s arm's reach out. The loudest and most terrified scream echoed through the halls. Jimin’s quick to cup his hand over their mouth, silencing their cries.

His opposite hand grips onto their wrists, pinning them above to keep them still. His eyebrow quirks in question, feeling how thin and frail their wrists had been. As if they had been starved for days. His eyes flicker back down, a wet substance trickles down onto his cupped hand. The rounding lights had shone on the figure just enough to see that it had been-

Tears..?

His grip loosens, eyes squinting to adjust to the dimmed lights, trying to make out the person’s face. Maybe it had been a worker? His hand that cupped over their mouth had trailed down, feeling how thin their skin was. Half-healed scars stitch their exposed shoulder. His thigh shifts against the figure’s lower body, hand quickly dragging down to feel the hem of a paper-thin like dress.

A dress..

He quickly pulls the figure up from the ground, bounding their wrists to the front just for safe measure. His freed hand fumbled to the pockets inside his jeans, pulling a little flashlight from its confinement.

The small girl flinches, shielding her eyes from the blinding sudden light. She tries to pull away, but he keeps her in place. The blood decorated her neck like a disgusting accessory he’d caused. Though, she didn’t look like she’d been that well looking before this meeting. The bags under her doe-like, glassy eyes droop with malnourishment and exhaustion. His eyes glance down, widening at her gault and thinned proportions. Skin as if it hadn’t seen the sunlight in decades. Her hair was thinned and drab looking. However, the most heart-wrenching thing he’d seen of hers,

The fear, crystal clear in her eyes.

Her mouth fell open as if to say something, but nothing came out. She kept struggling against his grip, kicking and flailing around like a toddler pitching a tantrum. More with fear than anger.

“Hey, hey- easy!” Her whole body pulls back, trying to escape his tight grip bounding her wrists. She hadn’t given up this fight, that’s for sure. Her head was shaking left and right as she was being exercised. However, he could feel her body weakening with each tug and pull to fight what little effort he’d been using in holding her.

“Hey, hey it’s okay, sweetie..” Her efforts weren’t letting up. Extending his freed hand outwards, his palm presses lightly against her burning cheek. He rises to prop up on his knees, lowering his voice in trying to signal peace.

“Easy, girl.. You’re okay.” Her chest heaves with might, but the strength within her body finally gives in. Her lips roll heavy breaths, as the struggles against his hold finally let up. His eyebrows knit together at the sight of her small gash against the base of her neck. He reaches down, using the scalpel to rip a small opening in a blood dripped white button up, tearing a piece of material from the suit’s fabric, folding the little cloth to fit over the open wound. She flinches, leaning back, as far away as possible.

“Look, it’s for your neck.” He holds the little piece of material up to his own neck, giving a demonstration of what he’ll be doing. “It’s to help..” She hesitates a second, before snatching the material from his grip, placing it herself. Her eyes take a glance over, watching as he reaches up above the desk, pulling a roll of tape down with him. His quick and genuine smile flashes, like a peaceful white flag during a war.

“Keep it in place. It’s tape.” He coos, snapping a piece off with the plastic sharps at the end, holding the roll in place. The little flimsy, clear strip sticks to the tip of his middle finger, stilling until she gives consent. Taking the strip for herself, she places it against the cloth, wincing from the minor sting.

“See? Not so bad, huh? Now,” He rises from the floor, taking a look around the room while commenting. “Stay here while I look for something.” His head tilts down, eyes locking onto hers. The wisp of her baby hairs stick to her forehead from a great amount of sweat. A smile curves his lips.

He bends down to prop himself up on one knee, patting the crown of her hair. “Think you can do that for me?” A low growl rumbles deep from her chest, but her head nods nonetheless. “Good girl.” He stands once more taking in a deep breath while stifling through the piles of paperwork scattered throughout the lab. His fingers brush past a few strange dips in the flooring, as a smirk curves his lips.

“Ah, there you are.” He proudly smiles, tucking the small jewel into his zipper pocket. As he turns to round the medical table, her small woman’s body stands tall and straight as the scalpel’s tip threatens to slit his throat. Her eyes burn with passion, greater than he’s ever seen. Voice raspy, but clear enough to make out what she’s trying to get across.

“O-Outside.”

His eyebrow quirks in confusion, tilting his head to the side. “You want me outside?” Her head shakes, taking in a deep breath to build up her confidence once more.

“Outside.” Her voice is clearer than ever. Her tone had touches of confidence, but fear had drenched whatever fire had ignited for even just a few seconds. His hands lower to his side, pressing his bulletproof vest deeper against the tip of the scalpel.

“Are you really trying to threaten me, sweetheart?” He watches the lump in her throat being swallowed agonizingly slow. She shakes her head, throwing the scalpel to the side to grip the collar of his white collar button up. His eyes widen, watching the once neutral colored irises melt into a dark, crimson.

“Take. Out. Side.”

___

The sirens blare loudly into your sensitive ears. The closer he led you to what you could only hope was the end, your body felt weaker. His hand is tight on yours, as you both are running through the halls. Avoiding dips, craters and fallen objects that had ridden more than half the staff.

“Come on, we’re almost there.” He reaches behind, pressing his palm into your back for more support. He could tell you’d become weak, given how much adrenaline you’d been taking on, the loud noises, and the energy you’d used up trying to fight him off. Taken, that it’s 1am as well. He’s surprised you haven’t passed out from exhaustion yet.

His hand extends outwards, pushing on the heavy metal door. Reaching back to pull you with his body. Suddenly, a scream echoes through the halls, louder than any of the blaring sirens that had been going off for the past thirty minutes. Your body collapses to the floor, a high-pitched screech rips from your chest, falling back into the painless comfort of the building.

“What are you doing!? We’ve gotta go-” He bends down, pulling you further into the building until your back hits the front desk. His eyes scan all over your body, seeing that there had been no harm done. Until, his fingers ran over a little lump just above the nape of your neck.

“Fuck..” He curses under breath, reaching into the pocket of his trousers, pulling out his cellphone quickly. “Of course they’d fucking chip you.”

Your eyes burn with tears, hands flying to grip at anything you could get comfort from. That, just so happened to be his barely visible white button up sneaking underneath his padded black vest. Much like the guards had worn. Voice brittle and frail as you repeat the unfamiliar sound.

“Ch-chip?”

His glares soften when met with your terrified stature. “It’s okay.. We’re gonna get you out of here.”

After a dial tone later, he starts talking to someone other than you.

“Damn it!” His voice is uncontrolled with anger, as he slides his phone back into its confinement. Eyes searching yours for some sort of answer, yet he can only think of one solution.

“Do you trust me?”

…

“Hurry up, Kook!” Namjoon calls out, standing outside of the laboratory’s control center.

“It’s not easy re-coding a whole program, Hyung!” Jungkook gripes back, rolling his eyes at his older’s high expectations of their mission.

“Well hurry up. You said that the device would only give us a couple of minutes!” Namjoon groans, trying to calm the erratic beats in his chest, as he reaches into the strap coiled around his thigh, pulling out his phone.

“Hello?” Jimin's voice sounded furious on the other line. “Yeah Kook’s working on it right- wait- slow down. We- lemme ask him.” Namjoon lowers the phone, yelling out. “Kook, can you disable the chips?”

Jungkook’s head peaks out in utter confusion. “Yeah sure hyung. Which ones, Doritos or Lays?” Namjoon’s eyes roll at his sarcasm.

“Not funny, Jimin’s found a hybrid. They’re near Sector B’s exit, but she’d chipped.”

“Why can’t she just, ya know? Leave.” Jungkook's voice is flat and sprinkled with a hint of annoyance. Namjoon groans, holding the phone out for him to have a little chat with the mission leader.

“Hello? Oh, Jimin. Uh- oh shit.. Uhm yeah I’ll see if I can shut it down.” Jungkook’s fingers make quick work on the computer’s keys, tying in every code his older brother had ever mentioned. An error message pops up, making Jungkook groan. He holds the phone to his ear once more, explaining the situation.

“It’s inviolable..”

“English for God’s sake, Jungkook.” Jimin gripes, waiting for the translation.

“It means I can’t break it. The chip’s coding isn’t even here.”

“Then where the hell is it?”

Jungkook squints, trying to decode the coordinates to an exact place. “Somewhere in California..?”

“We’re in SOUTH KOREA.” Jimin yells, making even Namjoon’s slouched posture straighten.

“You’ll have to remove it physically, hyung.”

___

“T-trust..?” You haven’t heard that word since you’d been brought to this place. The nurse who worked the front desk had promised your safety here, asking the same thing he is.

Jimin takes your hand in his, trying to get all of your focus to set on him instead of what’s going down around the two of you. “Trust. It means that you put your faith in me to help you out of here.”

“Why.. trust?” He could tell by the way you’re pulling further away, that you’d been teetering on the edge of just getting up and running away. He knew that’d do you or him no good, so he settled for explaining some more. Not that he had the time for this, anyways.

“Your neck,” He points to the back of your head, finger brushing along the little bump of your spine along your nape. “It has a chip in it that they put, so that they know where you are. You can’t leave without getting rid of it.” Your eyes flick back and forth, trying to process it all.

“How.. get.. rid?” Somehow, you already knew the answer.

“I.. take it out.” His voice is stern and controlled, unlike it had seemed earlier. He’s trying anything he can to make sure you don’t freak out right now. He wouldn’t blame you if you did. He watches the way your eyes guide themselves towards his concealed pocket knife, the lump in your throat thickening.

“No..” Your head shakes. “N-No.. other way.” Looking around, you search for anything else to not have to do this. His hands reach out to steady your shoulders, forcing your eyes to lock with his.

“We don’t have a lot of time here.” Your eyes stung with tears. His heart breaks at the sight, only furthering his determination of getting you both out of here. “It’ll be quick, okay?” Your head shakes sporadically, hairs flying left and right by the motions.

“Hey, hey, look at me.” His voice softens, lightly keeping your head still by taking your chin between his thumb and index finger. “What’s your name?” His simple question only makes the tears stream faster. The pain in your heart hurt more than anything physical you’d felt.

“I-I don’t know..” Even with everything going on, the sirens, alarms, howls and goans, gunshots and screams, he still had kept his composure. Acting as if this had just been a daily thing to do. Rip out a ‘chip’ from someone’s neck with a knife.

“Okay, okay. What’s something you love?”

Love?

Your memories flush through, skimming over anything that had caused you pain, whether mentally or physically. Then, it stops.

Nothing comes to mind.

You shake your head, silently crying as you realize that you have no good memories. All of your permanent ones are in this monster house.

His brows knit in concern, tilting his head to the side. “Nothing?”

“Okay, then. Your name is..” He looks around the destroyed entrance, watching as a few wires hang low, sparking ever so often. “Uh… Shit. Lilac, okay?” Your head leans to the side in confusion. He stumbles over his words, questioning how he’s gonna explain this one. “It’s a flower. Got it?”

“My.. name?”

“Yes, it’s Lilac. Just until we find out what your real name is, okay?” You hesitantly nod, settling your hands clasp into your lap. He takes a deep breath, trying to keep composed for both of your sakes. His hand brushes over the handle of his concealed pocket knife, mapping out his strategy in his head before putting it to action. “You ready?”

Your head nods, twisting around to allow him access to your nape. Your hair flipped over so nothing would be obstructing his view. Before he presses the tip of his knife to your neck, your hand reaches down to clasp over his free hand, muttering three little words that make his heart sink.

“I trust you.”

“Alright, got it!” Jungkook exclaims in victory, grabbing the little flashdrive he’d bought a few months back specifically for this mission. He quickly paces out of the control center’s door frame, being met with Namjoon’s back against the wall while a little white stick had been caught between his two lips.

“Really? Smoking on the job, dude?” Jungkook scoffs at his hyung’s behavior, stuffing the little flash drive down into his jean pocket. Namjoon’s posture straightens, releasing the little white bud of tightly wrapped nicotine to the floor, his shoe stomping out what little embers burned.

“Don’t dude your owner, dude.” He retorts, as Jungkook’s eyes roll at the rebuttal.

“Legally, you’re only my owner.” Namjoon’s lips tug into a smirk, throwing an arm around Jungkook’s tightened shoulders.

“Such a cute little puppy, isn’t that right~” He teases, ruffling Jungkook’s box-dyed locks that had concealed his ears better.

“Call me a puppy again and I’ll rip your balls from your dick.” Jungkook’s empty threat leaves a chuckle to roll from Namjoon’s lips, leading the two out towards the exit. Just before they were out, Jungkook’s ears perked up to the sound of a familiar screech. They both exchange a quick, worried look before making their way towards the noise.

___

“F-F-MA!” You couldn’t even find the words. Hands digging into the fabrics of your soaked dress, trying to stay still as much as possible as Jimin’s knife cuts deeper past the tissue. One hand stays flat against the freshly opened wound, while the other makes quick work of unbuckling his belt and holding it to your mouth.

“Bite.” He commands.

You’re quick to obey, trying to reach backwards for any support you could get. Your hands land into his lap, your knuckles tinting white from the pressure. His lips fall apart when one of your hands squeezes his cock on accident, making him bite back a moan. He’s quick to remove your hands, and instead place them on his bulletproof vest.

Your whines and moans didn’t help after that, that’s for sure.

“Almost got it,” He adds, taking a deep breath before continuing. “Whatever you do, don’t move.” His free hand reaches into the medical pouch of his mission bag, pulling out two alcohol wipes. Sterilizing his index and thumb, they’re inserted into the medium sized incision he’d made. The high-pitched scream you let out leaves his ears feeling like they’re on the verge of bleeding.

A few footsteps are introduced, as Namjoon’s gruff voice echoed through the corridor. “What the fuck was that!?”

“What does it fucking look like I’m doing!?” Jimin snaps back, trying to focus on detaching the chip. Jungkook’s body comes to sit in front of yours, criss-crossing the same way you’d sat. His hand takes yours, rubbing soothing circles around to ease the pain.

“It’s okay, you’re okay.. Just breathe.” His heart fucking shatters when you look up through glassy and red eyes. The pain he felt just by looking at this disaster had his stomach on the verge of letting go of today’s lunch. Your eyelids flutter to stay awake, as the black leather belt that had been stuffed into your mouth is practically bitten through all the way. Incisor teeth marks press into the lux item. He could feel the way your body was on the edge of just giving up.

“Hyung- Hyung hurry up!” Jungkook’s voice is riddled with panic now, watching as the blood soaked tears stain your cheek like a nasty case of rosacea.

Jimin’s fingertips latch onto the little device, slowly pulling out so as to not cause any permanent damage. “I’ve got it - Namjoon, grab the alcohol” He’s quick to hand the leader the requested item, watching wearily.

Jungkook’s hand reaches up to scratch your dirtied, once cream white fluffy ears, making a high-pitched whine roll through your chest. He smiles, continuing to praise you highly. “Good job, uhh.. Girl?”

Once Jimin’s got the gauze pad secured to the wound, he quickly helps you stand, putting all of your weight against his body, as he presses a gentle kiss to your forehead. “You did it,” He whispers, as the other two males hold the door open to let you through.

___

“Should we wake her?” One of the voices is tuned with a filter sounding as if they’d been talking under the water.

“No, guys. She needs rest. I’m literally in shock at how she wasn’t dead yet.” You could move a bit. Wiggling your big toe first, up your leg, until finally you could peel back your eyelids. The room had blurred out, taking a few seconds to clear. Suddenly, you’re surrounded by a whole group of men. Some, you’d recognized already. A man with purple hair comes to stand by your side, reaching down shine a bright light into your eyes.

“Y/n?” His voice calls out, holding up a set of fingers. “How many fingers do you see?”

“She’s illiterate, hyung.” One of the voices retorted, folding his arms across his chest. The man had electric blue hair that looked as if he’d been a rockstar himself.

“No, she just can’t speak English well, idiot.” Another responds. This one looked familiar. Jet-black curly hair, and a bunch of weird drawings on his right arm. He flashes a quick smile your way, passing through all of the other men to stand by your bed. “How are you feeling, Y/n?”

Who’s Y/n?

Your eyebrow raises in confusion, stopping your searches when your eyes land upon his figure. Much more cleaned up and presentable, the man adorned a pair of simple dark-washed jeans, along with a black T-shirt that hugged his prominent muscles. His brown, puppy-like hair lays damp against his forehead, brushing it out of his face. You quickly sat up, making the rest of the bunch yell in protest for your sudden action.

“Woah woah woah! Girly you were just at Death’s Doorstep, I don’t want you making another move!” The man wearing a corded heartbeat thing around his neck commands, but you didn’t care. You’re quick to fumble over the white comforter’s crumbled up fabric, falling towards the blonde hair man. His arms reach out to catch you, as he lets a chuckle roll from his lips.

“Easy, girl.” Your arms snake around his neck, pressing your whole body flushed against his. Tears rolling down your cheeks, as you finally have what you’d been wanting all your life.

Freedom.

“Yeah- we’ll just.. Give you two a minute.” The weird heartbeat tube guy guides the rest of the group out of the room, as he tries to peel you away. Your grip stays anaconda-tight, not letting up.

“Okay- Y/n you can let go now.” Your nose buried deep into the side of his neck, inhaling his vanilla and jasmine scent that you’d somehow missed, even though you didn’t even know this man’s name.

“Y/n, it’s okay, I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere.” His palm rubs soothing circles into the plains of your back, earning a low mewl from your lips.

You both stayed there for around five minutes. After time passed, your grip started to lighten up, until you’d finally released. His plump lips roll off a cute chuckle, the pad of his thumb stroking a line across your cheek.

“You good now?” He coos, taking one of your fluffy ears in hand to scratch gently. The gentle touch of his warm fingers made your stomach do summersaults. Your head nods, making a smile tug to the corner of his lips.

“Alright, teddy bear. Jin said that you can go ahead and take a bath.” Your head tilts, raising an eyebrow.

“B..Bath?” Now it’s his turn to be the confused one.

“You’ve never had a bath before? How’d they wash you guys in that place?” Your lips fall flat, not know how to answer that question. They did like everyone else, sprayed them down for a few seconds with some water, gave them a soap bar, and just sprayed them again.

His head shakes, pulling you off the bed to help you go ahead and get your land legs back. Your right arm catches onto his forearm, gripping tightly for support. His opposite hand comes down to ground your lower back, making sure that you can’t fall forwards or back.

“Easy, one foot at a time.” You follow his steps, as the two of you count together. Soon, you’re met with a different atmosphere. One much nicer than the bathroom you had back at your home. Or.. ‘center’ as the man liked to call it.

“My.. name.” Your head cranes to the side, as he lowers your body for you to sit on the toilet’s lid. He reaches down to plugging the tub’s drain, turning on the water.

“Your name?” He questions, pacing around the bathroom quickly to grab shampoo, towels, and some plastic wrap Jin had left for the two. He lowers down to the tub’s edge, propping up against the side while waiting for the bath to fill.

You nod. “No.. No. Your name.” Your voice was small and hoarse, hand trailing along the nearly healed scar across the bottom of your throat. Jimin’s eyes soften at the sight, remembering the past few days.

“I’m sorry for that.. and- my name's Jimin.” His hands extend outwards to offer help in standing. Your body resists movement. His lips roll out a deep sigh, tearing off a piece of the clear, thin plastic to keep the water from seeping to the stitches.

“You can’t take a bath with your dress, silly.” His voice raises an octave to try and push away the somber memories from a few days ago. Your head starts pounding, as the sounds, images and smells start to all come crawling back.

“Fuck..” You mumble, making the man let out a deep chuckle.

“That’s a new word, huh?” You nod, moving the lengths of your locks out of his way for him to dress the wounds once more. He backs away, standing tall next to the cracked door. “I’ll be out here if you-”

“No!” You cry out, body immediately trembling at the thought of him leaving you. Not again, not ever.

“But- don’t you want privacy to undress?”

“What.. privashe?”

He bends at the knees, laying down a towel to catch the water when you’re finished. His eyes glance up, catching your own through thick eyelashes. “Privacy is.. Nobody’s with you when you’re.. You know.” Your head shakes to the side, denying the word.

“We.. blue all.” His eyebrows knit together, trying to turn the gears to translate your broken english.

“Blue..?”

You point up to the ceiling, adding “Room.”

“Ah, so you showered in a blue room? All together?” You nod, smiling in victory. His smile however, showed no sign of genuinity.

___

His chin rests atop the tub’s edge, padding the hard surface with a rolled up washcloth. He admires the way your child-like innocence shines through when the bubble of the water starts to form. Hand guiding your hair back to not ruin your fun, a smile pressing his lips/

“So you’re telling me that they didn’t even let you play with cards?” You nod, slipping your under body underneath the bubbly waters so as to not reveal too much.

“We.. like.. Word.” His head tilts to the side, watching as your hands cup into a little bowl, blowing the pop-able bubbles into his face. He flinches away, laughing alongside you.

“You mean read?” His questions make your head do its little ‘definition, please’ tilt. It’s what he liked to call it, anyways.

“Read..Uhm- Yes. I we read.” Your lips crease to a smile, leaning forwards to wipe some of the bubbles onto the tip of his nose.

“No, it’s ‘I like to read.’ Try it.”

“Try it.” You repeat.

“No-” He facepalms, making your breath buble out in a cute giggle. “You say, ‘I like to read.’.”

“I.. like to read?” The sentence felt foreigner on your tongue. Usually you wouldn’t have to know these many words in the center. You’d be able to just communicate through thoughts and howls, but he hadn’t understood any of those. Yet.

“Mhm, good job.” He lifts the cup to scoop up some clean water from the running pipes, dumping it onto your head, as you let out a slight yelp.

“Fuck!” He bends over laughing at your shriek. Lips parted in humor, watching as your face falls confused.

“What?”

“You- that’s not a good word, Y/n.” He comments, laughter beginning to die down for a few moments.

“Why?”

He sighs, resuming to wash your hair. Leaning over, his face is met with yours from the side. “It’s a bad word. We don’t say it all the time, okay?” Your lips curve into a smirk.

“Fuck.” You test.

“Y/n, What’d I just say?”

Your shoulders shrug, silently patting yourself on the back for creating this little game. “Fuck fuck fuck.”

His lips tighten, expression falling flat as the tone in his voice begins to shift. “Stop saying that, Y/n. I mean it.”

With one breath, you lean forwards, lips barely brushing against his as you let the sound flow one last time.

“Fuck.”

…

The living room had grown quiet. Everyone sat sprawled all across the central area, waiting for any sign that it had been okay to rejoin with the newest addition to their bunch.

"I say we order twice the dosage of heat-supressants from Jungkook’s guy.” Jin comments, lips wrapping around the ring of his second soju bottle of the night.

“Well what if she wants to have heats? That’s like forcing a girl to go on birth-control. It should be her choice.” Namjoon adds, turning to the next page in his anthology novel. A warm mug of tea sat perfectly next to him on the side table. Jungkook’s head hangs off the couch, as his body is twisted upside down. His eyes trained on the Television that’d been playing for the past hour.

“Yeah, but we don’t need any hybrid babies around here. Especially since Jungkook’s breed is close to her’s.” Jin’s addition makes a few heads turn, especially that of the maknae himself.

“We’re all at the same risk as I am hyung. She’s half human, too.” Jungkook bites back, a bitter taste in his mouth resides at Jin’s comment towards you.

“I think the little tyke’s onto something,” Out of the small gathered bunch, Yoongi’s voice is next to follow in pursuit of this conversation. His own poison of choice being a chilled glass of whiskey on the rocks. Courtesy of Jimin’s little addiction, he must admit. “We all have the same urge to fuck her.”

Their heads all turn towards the elder, as he raises an eyebrow at the sudden attention.

“Way to be subtle with it, Yoongs.” Hoseok interrupts, sliding the edge of his pocket knife into the safety of its latch. “But he’s right. The maknae only got a little leverage because he’s more similar to her than we are. Biology wins in this case.” Hoseok reaches back behind himself to snatch the little glass from Yooongi’s grip, taking a swig in one go.

“don't high-jack my shit, you damn thief." Yoongi gripes, snatching back his rightfully made liquor from the younger male.

"Don't shit on my high-jack, you fucking sloth." Hoseok bites back, sticking his tongue out at the man he's called 'friend' for the past four years.

"Stick that tongue back at me and I'll rip it out so fast you won't even have time to cry out for your dead mommy." Hoseok's glare hardens back at his hyung's comment, making the whole atmosphere shift.

"Too far, asshole."

"ALRIGHT, you two. Knock it off. We've got bigger fish to fry here." Namjoon cuts in the middle before someone loses a dick. "Tae, what do you think we should do?" The man's head cranes to the side, forcing himself to pull away from the game he's almost won.

"Uhh. What was the question again?" They all groan in unison, watching as Hoseok throws a pillow towards the second to youngest. Taehyung's quick to dodge it, letting out a soft chuckle. "Your aim really bites, hyung. Surprised you've off-ed so many people with that kinda coordination.

"Yeah fuck you too, Tae." Hoseok groans. Taehyung sends a wink towards the elder.

"When and where, baby boy?~"

"Jesus I can't handle all this gay shit." Yoongi stands up, going to himself another drink. Taehyung chuckles, sending yoongi off with a few more words.

"Hyung, you're like the definition of gay. Don't even try it." Hoseok nods, agreeing with the younger male.

"Yea?" Yoongi settles back down, this time plopping next to Namjoon for some familiarity. "Bisexual, people. Ain't limited to one or the other, so taehyung, fuck off."

The commotion paused with a loud bang from upstairs. The group takes a look up, discussing who'll they'll be sending to go check it out.

"One two three NOT IT-"

They look around, laughing at the slowest member. "Damn it! I was waiting for Deadpool to show up guys!" Jungkook groans, pausing his movie to stand and make his way up the stairs.

••

"You are just a little daredevil, aren't you?" Jimin chuckles, watching you struggle trying to blow the tape off from your lips.

"N-uh uh. You keep that mouth of yours shut until you can learn to talk properly, understand?"

Even though you hadn't really, your eyes lulled back in annoyance. Hands reaching up to rip off the tape, but his quick reflexes prove to be faster. "Now that's not how you learn, is it?" A dark aura melts away his once soft and glowy exterior, trailing along something much more intense. His palm wraps around your wrist, a smirk presses his lips. "Don't make me have to tie up these hands too." Something burning inside made you quickly kneel down to submit, not even having time to make a peep. He takes it as a sign of your health depleting.

"Y/n? Get up off the floor, sweetie." His arms come to lift your from the floor, straightening the oversized T-shirts he'd let you borrow, promising to take you shopping in the morning for some of your own things.

Your ears perk up to height, craning your neck to the side quickly. Jungkook's movements hault, noticing what little you'd been dressed in. "Uh- we heard a loud sound and wanted to make sure that you were okay." His eyes trail along your figure, dipping from every hidden curve and wave he could somehow see. The shirt hadn't been translucent at all, in fact.

"Yeah we're fine. Someone taught her a not so nice word so I'm teaching her." Jimin comments, using a black, square shaped brush to comb through your hair, careful to avoid your protruding ears that had been on high alert towards the maknae. Jungkook's eyes narrow with a 'don't look at me like that' kind of expression, making you hesitantly back off after a few seconds.

"Anyways, namjoon hyung wanted to speak with you downstairs in a few minutes." He adds, before making his way back down the steps. Jimin lets out a sigh, taking a few strands of hair, running his fingers along the lengths. "There. Does that feel better?" You nod, turning back around to flash a smile. He mirrors yours, tilting his head down in question. "Are you going to behave now?" Your eyes trail off, pretending to think for a second.

"Y/n.." he threatens, as you giggle through the tape, nodding.

"I don't want you saying that word again, do you understand?" He peels back the tape for an answer.

"Yes."

"What'd you need to speak with me for, hyung?" Jimin questions, as you curl up next to his side, nuzzling into the comfort of a hoodie he'd thrown on before you two made your way down the stairs.

Namjoon's eyes take your strange behavior, lifting an eyebrow. "We need to discuss, well- that." He points towards you, making your face scrunch with annoyance. Jimin glances down, scratching behind your ears to calm you down.

"You mean 'her'. She has a name, hyung."

"Yes yes I know, jimin. I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about her behavior."

"Her.. behavior?"

Namjoon let's out a sigh, motioning for jungkook to come over and sit in the floor next to namjoon. "From one hybrid owner to another, you need to start thinking about if you're going to get her on suppressants or not. The sooner, the better." You watch as jungkook's eyes roll at Namjoon's comment, sticking his tongue out at the older man.

"Only legally, dumbass." Jungkook bites back, sticking his tongue out at his owner. Namjoon stares down the younger man, immediately shutting him up.

"Su..press..ants?" You take the words, trying to combine the together. However, they felt weird on your tongue, especially coming from your lips.

"Yes, suppressants, Y/n. When was your first heat?" His question leaves you stumped. What's a heat?

"Today. Bath." You smile, looking to your man to see if you got the answer right. He smiles, thumbing your cheek gently. Namjoon let's out a breath.

"No, Y/n. A heat is where-"

"I think that's enough for tonight."

"Jimin, you know how important this is to discuss-"

"Yeah, I do. Jungkook," his head turns in response, perking up. "Go play with Y/n for a few minutes." Your face scrunched in dislike at the idea. Hands reaching over to lock into place with Jimin’s to keep from leaving with Jungkook.

"No," you protest the thought. "Stay. Jimin." Your lips quiver, begging both of the men for you to stay.

"Jungkook, explain what a heat is for Y/n." Namjoon commands, as the maknae's throat tightens.

"Uh- I don't uhm- I… No." Jungkook stands walking away from this conversation quickly to avoid that conversation.

Namjoon sighs, lowering his head in annoyance. "Jimin, either get her on suppressants or find another place for her."

The night creeper in quicker than day had gone. Bright suns tied into invisible knots in the dark sky, as you sat on the bay window's cushion, admiring the glow of night. A creaking door perks your ears. You turn around, flashing a bright smile when you notice who it is.

"Whatchya doing?" He questions, settling down next to you on the cushions. Your hands drag along the cold winter's window pane, a slight chill running up your spine from the temperature drop. Head tilting to the side, your eyes trail over the moonlights bright illuminates shining upon his features. The chocolate brown irises glow with amusement to match your own.

"You know, they say if you wish upon a shooting star, then your wish will come true." Your head peaks at the idea. Immediately knowing what you'd wish for.

"Shoot..ting star?" He nods, pointing out towards the night's chilly blanket of curiosity.

"It flies across the sky like a really fast rocket.and when you see it, you make a quiet wish and poof! Your dream comes true." A 1,000-watt smile brightens up your face, as you deeply squint towards the sky, trying to look for anything that moves. Jimin lets out a chuckle, reaching up to drag his palm along the curve of your head. Fingers combing through your halfway dried strands, a smile similiar to yours peaks up. Only this one hadn't been towards the flying stars.

"I SEE!" You exclaim, pressing the tip of your finger against the glass. He's quick to sit up, nodding and points as well.

"Quick, make a wish!~" your hands clasp together in a prayer-like form, eyes closing as your lips mumble a few simple words.

"I wish to stay."

Morning peaks through like a little kid waking up bright and early on Christmas morning. Your eyes peel open, watching as the little dust particles float for a bit in the sun's bright rays. Everything had felt perfect.

You quickly rush down the stairs, eager to greet everyone a warm hello, only to find an empty house. Feeling as if some hadn't woken up yet, your feet trail along the halls like Anna from Frozen, just to be met with silence.

Knocking upon each door with no answer. The final door you knock upon is the one who you'd been wanting to see the most. Twisting the knob, you decided to take a peak in.

"Jimin?" You call out, watching as the sun's similar rays shine into his room as well. The gray comforter laid neatly on top of the bedsheets gave a sense of emptiness. His room hadn't been that outdone. With a large king bed placed on the side, and a huge desk sat in the middle facing from the window, it looked almost as if he was the most well-off man alive. The chrome outlines of his bed frame screamed 'look at me, I have money', which made your heart sink.

Had he been out with someone else?

The thought made your stomach churn with angst. Closing the door back, you decide to go make something for the boys to enjoy when they return. Switching on the old gramophone Jimin kept in his living room, you dance around the kitchen while whipping up a good stack of chocolate chip pancakes.

After about an hour's worth of cooking and baking, you'd felt worn out. Clearing the kitchen of any mess you'd disrupted Jin's wonderful organization with, you take a stroll through the rest of the place.

"Get her to take one dose every morning and every night. Keep track of when her heat will be too. On those days, you double the dosage, because her body will be fighting extra hard against them." The doctor extends out a white paper bag with further instructions and your prescription embedded inside. Namjoon pats Jimin on the back, as they make their way out of the hospital. When they're in the comfort of their vehicle, namjoon continues.

"It's for everybody's good, Jimin. Plus, the doctor said it will regulate her emotions better." Jimin's eyes drain off into the distance, blocking out the drowning sounds of Namjoon's Pros list for getting to take the supplements.

It was for your own good, he reminded himself.

Your feet dangle off the side of the bed, while one of his books held tightly in your grip. Your voice sounding out the words for better comprehension. Suddenly, your ears perk to the sound of a car pulling into the drive. You twist off the bed, rushing down the stairs as quickly as possible, falling into the first person's body you see.

"Uhm- I'm not Jimin, Y/n." Jungkook whines, feeling the grasp of your hug squeeze him like a boa constricter's lunch. You release, head peaking behind his body in search for the man you'd been desperately needing to see.

Jungkook sets the groceries onto the counter, letting out a sigh as he watches you pace back and forth between the two front door windows. "How long has he been gone?" He questions, popping the tab on a Coke to take a sip.

Your feet rush back and forth, head and eyes swiveling every which way on hopes that he'd be here faster. "Too long." You're quick to reply, not really caring in the conversation with the other hybrid.

"Y/n, I think you should back off a bit." His comment makes your body twist with anger. Turning on a heel, your face immediately falls straight.

"You, back off." Biting back, you're head turns to face the two large front doors, pacing once more. Jungkook let's out a sigh, shaking his head, making his way up the stairs.

After a few seconds drip by, there'd still been no sight of your man. Well, not your man- fuck that yes he is your man and if any other bitch tries to come at him you'll rip their-

"Y/n?" Jungkook's voice makes your thoughts hide for a second. You groan, already pissed off enough from the stupid wolf-hybrid.

"What?" Turning around, you're immidiently caught with the sight of Jimin's shirt in his hand. Jungkook holds out the peice of cloth, making your nose twitch in excitement.

"How does this make you feel?" He questions, shoving the shirt closer to your nose. Fuck, is he trying to kill you? Are you going to kill him? Probably.

"F-fine." You hesitantly answer, knowing damn well that ain't just making you feel 'fine'. Jungkook's eyebrow raises in suspicion, swaying Jimin's shirt in front of you like a little fucking serpent.

"Mhm, yeah sure." His nose scrunches in disgust, tossing the shirt into your lap. "God, Y/n. You don't think I can't smell how wet you are right now?" Your throat clumps, desperately trying to swallow the dry spell caught. Jungkook scoffs, plopping down onto the couch adjacent to you. "Jimin went with Namjoon to get your supplements. I'd suggest you go take a shower before he gets back."

You'd been too busy smelling the whole damn shirt to notice Jungkook's last few comments. The scent of Jimin's masculine bur delicate vanilla jasmine had your stomach aching for more. Body no longer in control, as you begin to succumb to this unknown power that had overcome you.

Just as you were about to finally go take Jungkook's advice and leave the shirt, a small slam of a door perks your ears. This time, you're more desperate than ever for Jimin to finally come home.

"Yeah man, that whole show was crazy. Did you see how Lee suk-yun made that field pass?" Hoseok's voice made the fire in your stomach recoil with disgust. He and Jin both make their way through the door, as you stand in the corner, waiting patiently by the window. Hoseok's eyebrow quirks in confusion at your strange behavior, glancing over to the maknae who'd been trying to avoid the pup all along.

"She's in heat."

"SHUT THE FUCK UP I NOT" you scream out, slamming your hand against the window pane. Watching as the whole frame shatters into a thousand pieces. They all turn in shock. Watching as your body heaves with anger.

"What the hell, Y/n??" Hoseok gripes, echoing a low growl from your chest. Jungkook quickly rises, interfering between the space of you and the rest.

"Easy, Y/n. Jimin will be home in just a few minutes." Jungkook's voice is calming, yet all you had felt was rage. Then, a wave of emptiness washes over you. Your body fall to the floor, glass cutting deep wounds on your shins, but you didn't care. It didn't feel nearly as bad as the pain you felt from Jimin absen-

"Woah, who did this?" His voice makes your spring up, running to the side of the door, jumping into his arms. He's quick to catch your weight, arms holding you up by just your thighs. The prescription bag dropped to the floor, as they all watched in curiosity at your nose nuzzling into his neck, scenting the fuck out of him.

"Nice to see you too, Y/n." He chuckles, leaning over to set you down. You don't budge an inch. His eyebrow quirks, taking a glance over to jungkook who'd been standing right infront of Hoseok and Jin. "What's going on with her?"

"She in heat, Jimin." His eyes blow wide at the realization.

"N-Now?" Jungkook nods.

"She punched the stain glass window because you were taking too long." Jimin cranes his head to the side, trying to get a word from you about all of this.

"Y/n, is that true?" You nod, moaning against his neck, trailing bites and suckles along his skin. This side of his neck practically turning purple in just a matter of seconds.

His throat clears, trying to pry himself from your grip. Jungkook lets out a chuckle.

"Good fucking luck trying to get her off, Jimin. Took me 6 hours to finally get Yenji off my back." He comments, walking away from the whole situation. In all honesty, the stench of your love for Jimin made his nose burn.

Namjoon picks up the bag from the floor, popping open the pill cup, handing Jimin a tiny capsule. His hand reaches to the side to try and coerce you to take the pill, but your hand is quick to swat it away, watching in victory as if flies across the room to land somewhere far away hopefully.

"Y/n, that wasn't very nice." Jimin scolds, making a smirk press your lips even more. Heavy breaths roll from your mouth onto his collarbone, licking a path from end to end.

"Mmm, more" He swallowed thickly, silently giving the guys a look saying 'help me'. They're hesitant to assist. Coming up with lame excuses instead.

"Uh yeah man I gotta go wash my goldfish." Hoseok walks away, trailing upstairs.

"I have to start on dinner. Anybody want pork belly?" Jin adds, quickly making his way towards the kitchen.

"Fuck no." Yoongi comments before making his way back upstairs. None of them even know when he'd come down in the first place.

Jimin's eyes meet Namjoon's, who'd been watching the whole scene unfold with hesitancy. "Yeah, uhm- I'm rather fond of my head jimin, so have fun with that." Namjoon trails behind Jin into the kitchen, assisting in the first load of dishes.

Jimin makes his way up the stairs with you latched on like a little turtle hanging onto it's parents' shell. Once you're both in his room, he shuts the door. You're quick to hop down from hold, pushing his body up against the door, reaching over to turn the lock. His hands come up to press against your shoulders, pushing you back to give him some breathing room.

"Woah woah- Y/n you've gotta chill out." Your head tilts to the side, lifting on your toes to whimper out the most desperate of things you could possibly get out. However they only exit your lips with your mother language, one in which he knows nothing of. From the other side of the house, you could hear Jungkook's voice speak back, telling you to shut the fuck up with that.

Eyes rolling, your hands find their way down to his belt, making quick work to rid him of the damn thing. "Y/n, wait-" he lips part open, moaning out from the way your fingertips trail over the clad of his boxer briefs. Mouth pressing open kisses to the side of his neck, tongue flushed flat onto the heated skin as your swirl the tip around.

"Je- Fuck.. Y/n.." His head falls back, before you're lifted from the ground, cornered against the bed's end. His body forces yours down, happily to oblige. Hands coming to pin your wrist to the side of your head, his breath falling down in gentle brushes, as if he'd been Bob Ross himself.

"My rules." He growls, making your whole stomach flip a million times. The heat between your legs, burning with need. His body leaves yours for a second, as you let out a whine.

"Just grabbing something." He makes clear before coming back into sight with a few ties of rope.

Holy fuck.

A smirk presses his lips, as his body stalks over yours, falling flat to tower.

"Are you going to be good for me?" He questions, securing the knots around each of your limbs to the bedpost. Your head fervently nods, mind too clouded with nothing else but the neediness you felt for him.

"Good girls follow daddy's instructions." Holy shit.

"Are you a good girl?" His tone leaves every inch of your skin on fire, as if you'd been thrown into a burning building.

"Yes! Yes!" Is all you could cry out. The anticipation is too much for your aching self to handle.

His lips lower to meet your ear, hot breath rolls down the lobe as he whispers.

"Good."

In just a split second, his lips crash to meet yours. Tongue was already fighting for dominance, but he'd won that battle so easily, it hadn't even been a fight at all. Your every desire was filled by him. Every thought, touch, smell, sight, was to belong to him-

You felt the push of his tongue forcing you to swallow a small gulp of whatever he'd hidden between his lips. Once the foreign object was pulled down your throat, all of the pleasure ceases. His touch burning against your skin retracts, the knee he'd been rubbing against your aching core had been no more. Your head whipped left and right to find an answer to why he stopped all of this. Was your tail in the way? Did you bite his lip too hard? Are you not fuckable??

Then, it sets in. Your eyes trail to the opened pill bottle that had been popped open, propped on his side table. Suddenly, you felt the passion, the fire, dwindle down. Your vision became clearer, as his irresistible body and scent became just..

Average.

His hand came up to thumb your cheek, hadn't even noticed that you'd been crying. Your hair messed and knotted with all the movements. Cheeks flushed, and lips swollen from your kiss. His eyes softly gaze into yours, a solemn smile pressing his lips.

"I'm sorry.." He coos, stroking your hairline lovingly.

"This was the only way."

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I don't know if this will continue or not, depends on how popular it gets. Hope you enjoyed it! Took me all day to write this. My cat made my laptop fall off my dresser when I went to go and get something, it cracked and ruined the touch screen option. My touchpad doesn't work too well either, so that's just greaaaat.

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rainthespiritual · 1 month

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Electric Love ~ Dot

An American Horror Story AU fic Based on season 2, asylum.

TRIGGER WARNINGS TAKE SERIOUSLY :

Angst, electroshock therapy, torture, it being asylum is itself a trigger warning, depression, forced medication, self harm, suicide, litteraly everything bad like that please be warned thank you 🙏

Plot : You're a patient in the asylum with kit

status : slightly edited

A/n : Idk how long this will be but I plan on making it atleast a couple parts... probably a series..

"Please stop! STOP it!" you cry, trying to pull your arms away from the two guards dragging you. You look around trying to make sense of where you are again but you immediately regret it as it all comes back. The darkness around consumes you and you truly ask yourself if you are in hell.

"No.. no no no NO NO PLEASE LET ME GO!" you scream again and again seeing the same walls you've seen.. again and again, the same place you were condemned to the place you are trapped, like a mouse in some sick maze. Darkness all around you in every corner, lingering in the air even. The same sickening song playing again and again in the common room, making you more nauseous with every note and every tune. The record player taunting you daily, you swear it's asking you to bash it in. To destroy it. You want nothing more than to lift up that stupid ugly thing, over your head and crack.. Oh the release youd feel is almost worth the punishment.

Most of the time you barely can understand what's around you anymore, it's all so familiar but also so foreign. Unknown to you it's a side-effect of the pills they force down your throat, and you sadly have no choice. You either take them or some sick man you don't know will hold your nose closed forcing you to open up to breathe but instead of air, you get the sick salty taste of fingers and medicine that never seems to go away, instead it lingers. Those damn pills taste terrible even just sitting them on your tounge to swallow makes you nauseous. Hell everything about this damn place made you nauseous the people, the smells, the air, the pills, the treatment and you could go on and on and on If you were sober enough.

The irony smell in the air, reminiscent of blood never seemed to go away and you can recognize it on the hands of some of the staff, 'why' you wonder 'why do their hands smell like blood and death'. The answers you've seemed to come up with terrify you to no end so you prefer to ignore it, to take the pills. Even though they don't seem to help much at all.

You open your eyes not even realizing they've been shut, you feel weirdly numb. But not so numb you feel nothing, just numb enough to be dazed and confused just how they like it. Compliant and scared. They say things to you that you now realise mean nothing, 'thisll fix you, you'll be happy.' , 'just let God into your heart and you'll be alright.' but it's proven again and again to be utter bullshit, everything is utter bullshit. You pray over and over begging for forgiveness, begging to feel anything but this, anything but the excruciating feeling of lonliness and utter dread you feel almost constantly and nothing gets better, you don't get fixed. Maybe it's you or maybe it's the life you've lived or the choices youve made. Or maybe just maybe it's nothing at all, just randomly selected torture that truly means nothing at all. Gathering all the strength you have left you try to kick out, but these two men are bigger, stronger, and alot less doped up than you are. The drugs you're forced to take keep you weak so you wont fight back, but that doesnt stop you from atleast trying.

Finally, you fall limp in their arms knowing what's going to come next, the worst kind of pain imaginable. One that does damage inside and out, melting your brain more and more every day. Sister Jude had caught you the previous day, or maybe week? It's so blurry you can't truly remember. But the gist is she caught you trying to cut yourself with a piece of sharp metal you had found on the floor somewhere, though now you can't completely remember the whereabouts. Stitched up and at least somewhat healed now, Sister Jude decided to resume your treatments. All you can do now is sob, and pray that it is over soon to a God that never listens.

"Please.." The guards finally strap you down, ignoring your pleas and sobs.

After a while of silence, Sister Jude finally walks into the room followed by Dr.Arden. "Please Sister, please! I'm begging you please don't do this to me, please. I'LL BE BETTER!" you sob even harder screaming as they forcefully open your mouth to shove a mouth guard inside, your screams now muffled unable to speak.

You look into Sister Jude's eyes with a pleading look, hoping that maybe just for once she will let you off easy with just a couple welts. Her eyes stare into yours and for a moment, just a moment, you feel that she actually feels bad. The looks in her eyes similar to yours makes you want to scream out but you stay silent knowing you won't be heard. Her mouth opens a bit, you assume to speak. But instead she jumps slightly, startled by the scratchy voice of Dr.Arden.

"Shall we get on with it?" he sounds impatient, his expression looking eager. You shut your eyes, hot tears still running down your face. Even just hearing Dr.Arden's voice sent chills down your spine. Something about him was evil. It was almost like he enjoyed the torture.

"Don't worry ___ we'll get you all fixed up," Sister Jude whispers wiping the tears from your sticky face ", you need to accept God into your life fully if you truly want to get better young lady." just like that her face is serious again and the little bit of hope you had is gone. It's good to not have hope in a place like this, but it's only human nature. Dr.Arden brings the tool to your temple, and finally, the torture begins. You scream out, feeling the electricity pulse throughout your body. Until at some point everything turns black, and your mind goes silent. Maybe this is the end.

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rath00ker · 1 year

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Trans rambles because I am trans therefore everyone in twisted wonderland is trans (they can’t escape me)

Riddle is trans masc genderfluid or trans fem genderfluid, it can really go either way with him. Would be a She/He enjoyer

Cater is just a trans guy. I don’t make the rules. Got top surgery and started T as soon as he could. Since he’s 18 (and I’m going off American law), he probably started puberty blockers really early and started T with his moms consent. He’s just living his best life

Leona is trans fem or trans masc. You can pick whichever you like best

Ruggie is a trans man I’m dying on this hill. He couldn’t afford puberty blockers but in my headcannon Leona is giving him some money for his transition. He pays for his hormone therapy and the needles he needs. In the version that Leona is trans masc probably gave him a hand-me down binder. His grandma really doesn’t care, coming out to her was easy “Hey grandma I’m trans” “that’s great now go grab my cigarettes”

All of the octo trio are trans because they’re my favorites and this in the highest honor I can give them.

Azul is nonbinary (he/they), he’s simple.

Jade is trans fem agender, they are in charge of making sure Floyd takes his T, otherwise he’d forget. They are on estrogen themself and Floyd calls them boob pills

Floyd is a trans guy because he is my favorite character and he just like me fr. Either doesn’t bind at all and does not care or forgets to take off his binder and wonders why his chest hurts all the time. That binder also needs to be WASHED. It is holding on for dear life. Jade helps Floyd take his T because Floyd can’t be trusted around sharp objects

The Tweels mom and dad didn’t care that much either. Idk what the merfolks view of gender is so you can make it up yourself. But I like to think that they don’t really care

Jamil is trans fem but hasn’t come out to her parents yet. Wants to fully transition but hasn’t been able too. Is a trans girl that wants to watch the world burn and I am in love with her. Send love to your local trans woman today

Vil is also Trans fem but could probably make her own estrogen if she really wanted too but going to a doctor is much safer and she has the means to do so. Trans lesbian, you can’t fight me on this I’m literally Yana

I DONT KNOW WHAT ROOK IS BUT HE IS QUEER. That is a queer guy, either by sexuality or gender. I don’t know what he is but we gotta find out NOEW. He can’t keep getting away with this

Epel is a trans guy, his story has trans vibes going through them. With the whole looking like a girl and wanting to be more manly. He’s on puberty blockers but Vil is working out with his family to get him on T. Probably has him a high testosterone diet to help out. Her and Rook definitely teach Epel everything he’d need to know to transition. (Found family goes brrrr), his family is supportive just more confused than anything. They love and support him they just don’t have the money to help him get that far in his transition

Idia is a sweaty trans masc nonbinary xeno pronoun user. Doesn’t use his xeno pronouns in real life but uses them online. He/they/it pronouns and Glitch/Glitchself Code/Codeself xeno pronoun user. He came out recently to his family so they are a bit confused but they have enough money to help his transition. Ortho makes sure he takes off his binder so he doesn’t hurt himself with it and reminds him to take his medication (both hormone blockers and anxiety medication)

Ortho is a robot, but he uses xeno pronouns like his brother to make him feel better. He’s a sweet little guy who loves his brother not much to say

Malleus is a trans woman because twisted wonderland is good but they need more trans women. Idk what fae culture thinks about gender but they probably don’t care that much. Malleus can probably transition through magic but just doesn’t want to. She doesn’t have body dysphoira just social dysporia other than that she’s doing just fine

Lilia is nonbinary just cause he’s a silly little guy. Nonbinary (he/him), just a silly guy

Crewel is an older trans guy and queer guy. Definitely has knowledge about trans laws and informs his trans students of them. Wants Crowley to add a gender studies class but we all know how useful Crowley is

Sam is a trans guy, why you may ask? Because Sam is like one of the most common names trans guys pick. That or he’s nonbinary. Transitioned a long time ago, is open about it and helps out NRC’s trans/queer students when he can. Sells binders and feminine clothing

How would this work if NRC is an all boys college? I dunno and I don’t care so don’t make a comment questioning it. This is for the fun of it. I also have headcannons about what mental disorder some twst characters might have so that might be my next post. Psychology is a special interest of mine and you can’t escape me talking about it

Thank you tri-state area

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avaritia-ffxiv · 14 days

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5 Songs I'm Into RN

1. Tuoni - Kuolonpyörä

I LOVE the lyrics in this. But it's Finnish. And if you look up a translation, the chorus is wrong. And the chorus is the best part. So I'm a lil salty about that and had to translate it MYSELF for captainqster when sending it to them like "OMG THIS IS SO GNB GIOVANNA"

But it is, it really is her.

(Also the correct chorus goes like this:)

Pyörä pyörii - läpi ihmiselämän (The wheel turns - through human life) Pyörä pyörii - aina nauttii vähemmän (The wheel turns - always enjoys less) Pyörä pyörii - ei hellitä ikinä (The wheel turns - never relents) Kuolonpyörä - liekki ja kipinä (Wheel of death - flame and spark)

2. Beyond Awareness - Crime

This is from Nazaire's playlist.

Will I ever be fine? Do I belong in another life? Oh please show me the place where I can leave this behind Can't replace what's inside I'm all out of will to carry on with this life But if I just closed my eyes for now It's a crime

Apparently this is a Finnish band too?? The more you know. Anyway yeah very Nazaire, makes me vibe in his name.

3. Bloodbound - The Warlock's Trail

Hey it's a Swedish band this time. That's so far off.

Either way, this is from D&D Gia's playlist

In the mist of the morning a winter's day Came a man in robe from far away Out of ashes and clay of the magic vale 'Cause sorrow sail on the warlock's trail

Idk if I've ever talked about him? He's a ruthless little thing, and a warlock, so the song suits him p nicely.

4. Hozier & Bear McCreary - Blood Upon the Snow

It's not from some version of Gia's playlist!!! It's from Damonient's. I fucking love this song and it really... Gets his mood across, I feel? The melancholy, it's so good.

To all things housed in her silence Nature offers a violence The bear that keeps to his own line The wolf that seeks always his own kind The world that hardens as the harsher winter holds The parent forced to eat its young before it grows It's not my arms that will fail me But this world takes more strength than it gave me The trees deny themselves nothing that makes them grow No rain fall, no sunshine No blood upon the snow

I still haven't gotten around to doing a lil gpose to it with him.

5. Project Vela - War on Falling Stars

Embracing the darkness Telling you that it'll be okay But it's more than harmless This disease will rip your soul away I don't want to live my life by your beliefs I don't want to be caught up in vanity I don't want to swallow pills you offer me I just need to suppress these memories

This is from Saga's v2 playlist, soooooo himst after his corruption arc 'cause we can't have good sweet pure characters in this house, must ruin their whole outlook.

Tagged by @captainqster

Tagging idk who hasn't gotten tagged yet so if you've already gotten tagged or don't feel like it just ignore this but @soulshards-ooc @shadesofblades @vmbral (YES I KNOW YOU ALREADY GOT TAGGED BUT I WILL TAG YOU AGAIN) @cosmicharm (same at you) @midnightmagicks

@abalathia @shieke @briar-ffxiv @allyennah

Honorary mentions and a whole bunch of spotify links under the cut:

Bad Omens - Kingdom of Cards (from Amthan's playlist)

I made my way through hell again, I paid for my mistakes Next time, I think I'll stay awhile and pour myself a drink When I return, I'll look for you, so listen for your name If you can make it out above the roaring of the flames If it's the mask you want, then it's the mask that you will get But when I take it off, remember that you asked for this I tore myself apart to give you all that I could give Don't think that I will let it go, don't think that I'll forget I thought I wanted legacy, I thought I wanted fame I didn't know I'd lose all my loved ones in exchange Left 'em all behind and yeah, for that, I am ashamed But that's the price I'm paying 'til I'm buried in my grave

Blacklite District - Goodbye (rock mix) (from Gia and Saga v2's playlists)

Goodbye Say goodbye to the knife That you sharpen with your life Say goodbye To the dark side Goodbye Say goodbye to the lies And the pain You hold inside Say goodbye to that old life Goodbye

Hollywood Undead ft. Hyro the Hero - Comin' Through the Stereo (from Narin's playlist)

I'm going to the top and nobody's gonna stop me now Another nightmare and it's coming through the stеreo Keep going 'til I drop, 'til the hands on the clock run out Anothеr nightmare and it's coming through the stereo Straight out the gate, got them bodies dropping Ain't no grave that can hold my coffin I'm going to the top and nobody's gonna stop me now Another nightmare and it's coming through the stereo

Battle Beast - Where Angels Fear to Fly (from Nazaire's playlist)

I spread my wings and like the midnight sun I will be rising Into the frozen heights, where stars are born And where they die I'm lighting up horizons With thunder and lightning Through the darkest skies Whеre even angеls fear to fly

I COULD GO ON FOR SO MUCH LONGER, DO YOU UNDERSTAND HOW MUCH MUSIC I LISTEN TO. But also yeah if I can't make it related to one character or other, it can't keep my interest.

Good thing I have a gazillion characters!

#memes #i'll refrain from going on a rant about how european music is superior to american music #but often gets less exposure #not to say i don't also listen to american music 'cause clearly i do #and enjoy some songs #but comparing my favorite american songs #to my favorite songs by european bands? bruh #not even close #Spotify

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thesisthehomosexual · 2 years

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gay bug angst rambling

TW for the usual things involving Tiso/Quirrel and angst: injuries, su1c1d3, s3lf h@rm themes, tr@vm@, all of those sorta themes, be safe this is under the readmore

also what i say in here is not meant to be offensive or encourage anything listed in the triggers. I was just thinking angst thoughts and i though about these two gay bugs

tisoquirrel angst is good but i want to see more unique angst of them other than Quirrel at the blue lake or Tiso getting hurt in the Colosseum. Give me injured pill bug with funny little himbo ant. Reverse the caretaker roles i want to see Tiso deal with taking care of a random ass pill bug. Also the fact the pill bugs turn bright fucking blue when they get sick is such a good opportunity. like what if it was just Tiso: Quirrel you look like the fucking blue lake Quirrel: oh shit Tiso im fucking dying

that would be funny and also good for hurting everyone. Or what about instead of hurting Quirrel we get more Tiso emotional angst? Most of the angst/hurt comfort fics/art i have seen focus on Tiso with physical injuries but what about his e m o t i o n a l d a m a g e ? Cant tell me this ant got no complex emotions needing processing all the fucking bugs lived through a plague brought on by god and he fucking almost(did in cannon) die. That should be plenty enough to fuck him up nice enough to provide plenty emotional pain for us to consume.

Quirrel also more angst other than just "Oh boy i killed monomon my life has no purpose anymore into the lake i go weeeee" we dont know too much about Quirrel's past other than he was Monomon's assistant and worked in the archives and sealing the dreamers. We have basically no clue what could have happened when he left hallownest. What about after the blue lake incident? That gives plenty of opportunities. Blue lake in itself can be so much deeper than we write it as. A lot of things ive read about Quirrel at blue lake have been kinda dry (not to be mean btw, im just ranbling here at 6 am-) i require mentally ill pill bug. There is plenty of ways to portray mental illness without breaking character. I want to see this man take a fucking deep dive into depression or something like that. Just hit him with a fucking train. Also if he attempted to become a rock at blue lake and failed that could be traumatizing. Even if he did not follow through with the attempt the knowledge that he was going to and that he had planned it out could be pretty terrifying for Quirrel.

How could these interact? hehehhee i have prompts if anyone would like them otherwise just think about all the angst :DDDD

here are the promts very much angst btw

Tiso sees Quirrel doing the harming of himself (either as a way to punish himself for something or as a way to ground himself or some other way idk man i just make angst ideas-) and panics before going to try and comfort Quirrel for extra hurt Tiso gets triggered and has a panic attack after it and Quirrel feels awful while comforting Tiso. both are mentally ill your honor.

Tiso snapping at a minor inconvenience and Quirrel comforting him until he eventually cries himself to sleep. Quirrel could ask him about it or he could just be there for him as a form of comfort.

Quirrel getting triggered and having a panic attack after falling into a large body of water soon after his attempt or backing out of it while Tiso has to try and keep Quirrel grounded and let him know he is safe,

Tiso has flashbacks/nightmares of the coliseum and Quirrel learns about it by noticing Tiso not sleeping or he falls asleep on him and has a nightmare.

I love angst can you tell?

#hollow knight #hk quirrel #hk tiso #tisoquirrel #gay bug angst lmao #this was long #6 am rambling #gay bugs #why did i do this

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blugnettabutterflies · 1 year

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CRIMINAL CASE CONSPIRACY CASE 52 SPOILERS

Now that I have seen this case, wrecking me apart... I have a few questions that probably I get out of the radar and I'm too stupid to remember.

I'll put them in read more because it can be sensitive.

And let me know what you think, I would love to see your imput!! And so sorry if I messed up

The questions and topics will go specifically into Jones's attempt's side of the additional chapter, because HOLY SPIRIT THAT FIRST SCENE SHOULDN'T HAVE HIT ME THAT BAD YET HERE WE ARE.

Ok everyone.

... You think Ramirez ever find out around Jones' Attempt?

Because Ramirez is heavily fond to him, he was the one who gave the player the idea to get to MARCONI'S SCENE to get the tapes. How so you think he reacted?

I mean, I feel eventually he found out about everything, but probably was the last one to know. Probably letting him be at his house to keep him company instead of just leaving him there on his own.

I wonder how his therapy sessions went after that.

Because as far as I knew he was going to therapy. Just.. imagine. Probably when we were finding the letter or taking care of the other side with Louis, his therapist probably gave him a visit. And even after the letter, those sensations doesnt go away that easily. No wonder they make him have an undefined leave. A lot going on.

You think he had to be put to the mental health facility? Or just went home?

I mean obviously not in the same facility, the one where Zoe was and some others want to make his life hell alreadybis the biggest red flag. Maybe another one, near town? Idk, just a silly thought.

After all, he had to go through a mental health evaluation for probably the next 72 hours he had to stay in the room since he woke up.

And let's be real, even when it's a game, a letter could be able to give someone the will to live. But it can be damaged with other stuff happening. It's not easy.

Is Astrid even alive at that point?

Because if she is, she would have ended up alone without her "Temporary" owner... man.

I mean she could have passed away from old age or something, Zoe met Astrid... if she is dead then there's another point to add to the culmination of things that led him to this.

Edit: Not only Astrid is probably alive at that point, DAVID IS ALSO HIS OWNER, THIS MAKES THINGS WAY HEAVIER.

... How is Gabriel doing?

Because I am so sure those were his sedatives. He was the one who at the start of the case gave it to him so he could rest up after his breakdown. And probably was trying for him to talk it out. And suddenly he finds Jones on the ground with an empty pill bottle, with other members trying to get him to a hospital. He must have had a lot of guilt.

Well I know that professionals usually have their techniques to not get so messed up over this kind of situations, let alone over mental health, but I believe some feeling was there.

#criminal case game #criminal case #criminal case The Conspiracy #David Jones #Zoe Kuzama #CCTC52 #Gabriel Herrera #Eduardo Ramirez #help why am i so worked up over this #help #head case #his is the prpblem with hyperfixations guys #it never ends well in my part

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winderlylandchime · 8 months

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2/2 of 2x08: ‘why is she acting like this? Is she okay? Oh god, is she sick? What’s wrong deb? Talk to me, redhead! *deb tells vic about ben* please, for the love of everything i own, stop talking. Why are you still talking? I said STOP! Twist your words? Deb, girl..that’s what you said, do you want me to rewind the tapes? AND TO SAY THAT TO VIC?! YOU WISH HE WASNT WHAT NOW? Listen to me Deb, straight still gets hiv. MIKE GET BEHIND ME, I MIGHT HATE YOU BUT I GOT YOU! OH NO HES HEARING HER! WASTING AWAY TO NOTHING? AND SHE SAYS THAT TO VIC OF ALL PEOPLE?! Poor vic. Fought for his life and now his sister says all that?! *pauses the tv and looks at me all scared* just so you know, i would NEVER say something like that to you. I might be an idiot but I’m not *waves his hand at the tv* that dumb…can you get me another soda?’… ‘he’s more sad for vic than himself? Damn, he has his nice moments. Deb, why would he have to tell you about Ben? That is literally none of your business. What’s up with you and Ted? SHE FORBIDS HIM FROM DATING BEN? Man, i hope Ben fucks the shit out of Mike this episode. I’m talking can’t walk for a week type of fuck! Because yall are pissing me off!’ And now the scene with britin is up!!!! ‘Ohhh look at them. Getting busy! Why is Justin talking about Ben? What is going on this episode..Man, ben has to have the craziest hiccups this episode. THATS RIGHT BRI! ITS MIKES DECISION! FINALLY SOMEONE WHO IS SMART! *pauses tv* justin. No. Please never do it raw. You can’t trust anyone THAT much. Cheating exists. And also you and Bri Bri don’t exactly have the most….how shall I put it nicely? Ethical relationship..is that respectful? Idk either way *shakes his head* no blondie! Brian..smack sense into him, don’t encourage him! GOOD BOY! EXACTLY BRIAN! Condoms are your best friend *shakes his pill bottle* next to these lil shits. HE WANTS HIM SAFE! AND HE WANTS HIM AROUND FOR A LONG TIME, YOU MIGHT AS WELL SAY I LOVE YOU! (My name) did you hear that?! He wants him safe! And around! FOR A LONG TIME! That’s like many years! I cannot wait for him to say i love you to Justin! Would be a dope finale. Like *pretends to be brian, ig* “Justin!!! I love you. And i wanna be with you!” Yeah that’s the shit!’ My heart breaks for when he’s gonna see the finale. ‘Brian looks good. Leather jacket, messy hair…i fuck with it. Ohhh i like Brian and this bandana chick! Look at him taking his kid to the park. OH FUCK HER PARENTS *the scene in the park with that random lady comes up* the fuck they do?! I bet Michael just got a boner hearing her say that..Brian..Brian, come on i was rooting for you! Not to be the devil’s advocate but at least his reasoning was nicer in some weird way.’ He just scoffed at the sight of Deb so i’d say he’s doing well ‘Deb..you’ve talked enough. I think you should be quiet for the next 3 episodes..oh vic forgave her way too fast! Couldn’t be me tho’ ‘…no offense but if your parents don’t like you, you really shouldn’t care..but i get it, our greatest fault as human beings is the need we all have to be loved, it’s the only thing we all have in common. *look at me as if he just saw me* ice cream! *goes to get ice cream*’ I honestly wonder how he would watch this if he wasn’t high as a kite. ‘Is justin blowing a strap on?? Go off, i guess! Oh shit oh shit! Oh the dad is having a blast. i am honestly impressed that brian is quiet’ The scene with Ben and Mikey is on and he is not okay ‘NO MIKE NO! I mean do what makes you feel comfortable but NOOO DONT LET THEM GET TO YOU! But also I support your decision but fuck’ this obviously ended with him going for a smoke and is currently outside talking to mom and lying about why he was MIA, he also tried to turn the subject on qaf but failed badly bc his attempt was ‘how would you feel if i had a boyfriend with hiv?’ It was followed by ‘no mom, i im not gay. I’m not. HE IS JUST A FRIEND’ Keep my soul in thoughts and prayers because i am going through it.

AHAHAH YES. Exactly. Deb is such a fucking hypocrite. Ugh she is the worst about Ben’s HIV. And then Michael makes it so fucking awkward when he confronts Debbie IN FRONT OF BEN.

Your brother screaming about a) wearing a condom and b) I WANT YOU SAFE AND I WANT YOU AROUND FOR A LONG TIME is all of us. He is in the fandom. Brian DOES love him.

“our greatest fault as human beings is the need we all have to be loved, it’s the only thing we all have in common” - I know you described him as a himbo but Brother Anon is spitting some serious thoughts here.

Asking your mom how she would react if he had a boyfriend with HIV. I am dyingggggg. I love you brother.

Thoughts & Prayers Anon. You are truly doing the lord’s work.

#ask winderlylandchime #dear sweet anon #queer as folk #a straight man watches qaf us 2000 in the year of our lord 2023

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lanaevyssmoved · 5 months

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I've been meaning to play coral island after I finish my time at sandrock, have you heard of that one yet? Anyway it looks so fun, after I'm done skipping around in the desert it's time for a beach vacation hell yeah!

Also, please look up Burgess from my time at sandrock, he's my fucking boyfriend. He's tall, round and sweet as can be with his little freckles. I love him so much. Who is your fav in coral island so far?

i've not played my time at sandrock but i have heard of it! i'm not really into deserts, so i never really felt a draw to play it honestly dlskdfg my time at portia has more appeal to me!!

OMG HES SO YELLOW .. I LOVE HOW RED HIS NOSE IS AND THE FRECKLES.. he's so cute........ i had no idea the game had such cute character design.... i see the appeal...........................

in terms of MY FAVOURITES...!!!!!!! i'm only gonna pick romance options because this game has so many characters. EXCEPT ONE there's a standout npc.. anyone who knows me well will know who that is.. alphabetical order except for the npc

charles - i really love town doctors in these games and i love gingers and freckles and he gives me harvey sdv vibes but hes a lil less strict and a lil more hypocritical and i really enjoy that. he literally wont take his hayfever pills but constantly sneezes from it!!! he's so stupid and smart at the same time <3

kenny - kenny has literally made me tear up. he's my highest heart and his dialogue gets so whimsical and beautiful.. bro sees poetry in the wind and the call of birds. he is so in love with nature and the world but not enough to stand in the rain and get soaked <3 he's really sweet and his best friend is a cow called bessie i mean cmon

noah - noah is adorable and i love his relationship with his family... i especially love how close he is with his mother betty and i really want to be a better farmer to make his life easier.. when he asks me to grab some flowers to help him out even a lil bit i will bring him 50 bouquets

rafael - he's so cute and passive and gentle.. gentle giant trope.. i love his rolling eyes face when he complains and i love that he says magic stuff isnt real but he would like if it was because it would be cool... i love that he likes horror movies and hes so gentle with his niece and respectful of suki's parenting and and and... HES SOOO BABYYYYYYYYY

raj - they/them rep ofc i'm into it... i haven't gotten far with raj yet but i got that one dialogue where they tell you their full name and you can compliment it and if you do the BLUSH EXPRESSION... i really wanna get to know raj better....... i would also like to supply ur coffee beans raj can we discuss this

scott - my partner calls scott a grave robber and he robbed my heart yeah <3 scott is the enemy (white man who works for a museum and wants to display artefacts from other cultures) but scott is also flirt at 1 hearts and has multiple story cutscenes all about him so you get to know him and spend time with him faster than anyone and its like he's purposely trying to entice me. bro called me dear, lovely, asks if i've noticed he's been lifting weights, CHARLES SAYS HE HAS TO REMIND SCOTT TO EAT, SLEEP AND SHOWER.... idk man he's a fucking mess and i really need him

surya - SURYA IS SO CUTE AND I LOVE THE DYNAMIC OF BEING THE TWO NEWEST IN TOWN... i love the ocean stuff so i'm naturally drawn to him and his science and mission on the island.. when u gift him a liked item bro can't even look u in the eye he's blushing up a storm like BRO IS INTO YOU... his lil tv event was so cute and my mind is full of surya being too shy to act on his feelings.. ahhhhh..........

AND LASTLY THE NPC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

betty - EVERY SINGLE GAME LIKE THIS I FALL IN LOVE WITH THE LIL OLD LADY!!!!!!!! she spends all her time refilling bird feeders!! she likes to educate the kids on the coral reefs!!!!! she loves to go on walks and stretch lightly with noah!!!!!! she bakes!!!!! she is so patient and kind with everyone!! BUT SHES THE LOUDEST AND ANGRIEST WHEN PUFFERFISH MOVES IN!!!!!!!!! GET EM MUM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! see i'm never into having kids in these games but the thought of marrying noah and having children to give betty some grandkids... man man man !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

if there's like some junimo equivalent in this game (don't spoil if there is plsy) they will be ultimate favourites as well ^_^

there are some romance options i do like but i don't know well enough or haven't been drawn in enough to like them a lot and i'll list them here quickly

alice

ben

eva

luke

mark

pablo

suki

i do like the look of nina but i haven't met her yet.. and denali is <3 but i also haven't really met the merfolk yet only the first meeting!! honestly i do think they're all cute.. and i might be surprised like how most people hate haley but her romance is one of the ultimates in sdv.... like i've gotten two events with luke now and he's quickly racing up to favourites but not quite there yet.... who knows......!!!!!!!!!!

#fray.txt #ask #Anonymous #i love talking about characters i like. can you tell

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forgottenarthur · 8 months

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Character Analysis

THE BASICS:

Character’s name: Arthur Varmont

Role in story: Prince

Physical description: Bradley James ;D

Age: 26

MBTI: ESTP (the entrepreneur)

Enneagram: Type 2 (the helper), 2w3, 278

Zodiac: Aries

INTERNAL: THE MOST IMPORTANT THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT YOUR CHARACTER

What is his/her greatest fear? Of being unlovable, unwanted, unworthy of love even if he ~could engender it

Inner motivation: To feel loved, to be loved, to express his feelings for others, to be needed and appreciated, to get others to respond to him, to vindicate his claims about himself

Kryptonite: Being taken for granted

What is his/her misbelief about the world? He’s not good enough for his father, family, or country and thus they will never truly need, love, or accept him (ouch), smth that’ll be confirmed when his lil bro inevitably takes the crown <3 bc he def believes, deep down, that this is what will happen

Lesson he/she needs to learn: His status re: the throne has no bearing on his worth!!! And also oh yeah he ~is lovable

What is the best thing in his/her life? Adventure! Excitement! Proving himself by proving his worth to others by great and extravagant deeds (and endlessly, endlessly talking himself up)! Making his family members (any and all of them, alike!) smile! Feeling needed! Esp by ppl he cares about! Being hailed as a champion! Pretty maidens raining rose petals down on his head as he enters, triumphant, into a city! Basically any spectacle or moment (but esp the spectacle variety) that he feels like his dad might think was pr rad! Honestly anything and everything dramatic that makes him look good ;D Mirrors, bc he’s pretty and he knows it! ;D also, to that end, pretty maidens sighing over him, etc! Basically anything that makes him feel like a big man!

What is the worst thing in his/her life? His dad! The race for the throne! He’d do just about anything to make his dad proud, but like also???? he actually does love his bro & sis???? but he’s forced into this competition w them???? And so he’s, like, gotta choose between making his dad proud and mom happy and fulfilling his own sense of self-worth, vs, like, destroying his own little brother & big sister???? And lbr it sucks!!!!! (Cue the ~Renly’s peach~ symbolism motif etc tho hopefully it won’t come to ~that extreme #yikes)

What does he/she most often look down on people for? Selfishness, lack of honor, cowardice, disloyalty to the crown/any and all (even perceived) disrespect for his dad (for whom he has a cultish devotion), weakness

What makes his/her heart feel alive? Those few good moments w his family esp his ~whole fam and most of all those few and sparse moments when his father has shown pride in him!!!!!!!! (even better if he showed affection or even basic respect but let’s not get too crazy here), shared warmth and affection w/ ppl he cares about, little simple and frankly wholesome moments like breaking warm bread w friends and loved ones <3, being really really good at bashing swords around!, being hot, that one court poet who composed a ballad in his honor (only mostly bc he was paid to but shhh)

What makes him/her feel loved, and who was the last person to make them feel that way? Honestly just simple appreciation of any kind! But esp if he’s needed in some way! Tell you need him in your life and you’ve got his loyalty forever!! (tho you might not actually want that tbqh bc lbr he’s a piLL ~c’est moi plays not so softly in the bg 24/7 etc~), tbh if anyone showed him even an ounce of genuine affection he’d probs drop dead on the spot! (*one of his knights affectionately slaps his back* *he’s immediately choked up and has to retreat to privacy to cry a lil ngl even tho he 100% has to play it off cool until he can slip away*), anyway idk but probs his sister, mom, or full bro in terms of who made him feel that way idk for sure yet obv but i feel like they’re probs his primary source of affection

Top three things he/she values most in life? Whelp, tragically enough the thing he values most is 100% his father’s impressions, opinions, and nebulous feelings!!!!! So like his #1 goal in life as a human being is to make dad proud but sadly his dad is 1) too stressed by running an empire and his own fear of worthlessness (you can read more abt that in his vers of this when i get that up), and too self-absorbed to notice, 2) too impressed by smarts to ever really fully credit his less intelligent son w anything, and 3) has absolutely insanE standards and will never, ever, ever be proud of anyone, ever, including himself and if his son ~were somehow to gain that he’d have so eclipsed his dad (bc we’re talking literally god-tier accomplishments atp which are obv beyond human capacity) that his dad would actually hate him and lowkey want to destroy him (in order to prove that he, himself, is worthwhile and not just some patsy compared to his own son but, tbf, he ~would be proud of him even while trying to destroy him and aint no one else allowed to destroy his boy etc etc etc) so <33333 good luck w all of that!!!!!! but anyway, uhhhhhh, the other two things he most values are the rest of his family (sorry, guys!), and his own awesomeness! *high fives his reflection* jk jk its just simply wholesome good times and genuine human connection but shhhhh you didn’t hear that from me

EXTERNAL: NOT NECESSARY, BUT GOOD TO KNOW AND SAYS A LOT ABOUT YOUR CHARACTER

What’s his/her favorite book, movie, and band? Band of brothers, all the various spidermen, superhero stuff in general, mr & mrs smith, two mules for sister sarah, the happier arthurian stuff (knights, chivalry, etc) but not the sadder/more srs ones sm probs tbqh, pr much every buddy movie under the sun tho he’d claim to prefer smth more macho like GoT but tbh i don’t see him ~actually enjoying that that much bc #tooreal hahaha he’d also really like lots of romcoms tho he’d rather die than admit it – batb? p&p? he’d love it!! i mean, they’re all about seeing through exteriors and wanting and needing ppl for who they really are and he’d be such a sucker for that!!!!! but again he’d never admit it <3 he’s more of an athlete so he probs wouldn’t read that much in a world where there’s tv/movies, but he’d love all things bbc robin hood!!! honestly the ~whole found family trope would get him badddddd, for music he’d probs like mumford & sons, imagine dragons, deep purple, pink floyd – lyrical but w a touch of an edge?

Is there an object he/she can’t bear to part with and why? His sword! He’s honestly really great at all that jazz and he likes to rub everyone’s face in it smh

Describe a typical outfit for him/her from top to bottom. Probs a linen shirt that’s ‘carelessly’ but nonetheless artfully slightly open to show off his sculpted body but w/o making it obv that’s what he’s about smdh, a leather belt for the same reason but also bc #sword, and idk trousers of some type probs really nicely sourced but meant not to look like it bc he secretly loves luxury but like???? wants to seem like he’s too macho to notice smh, really nice leather boots which are great bc they’re super nice but also he doesn’t need to defend it bc they’re also obv super practical win/win!

What names or nicknames has he/she been called throughout their life? arthur, my lord, your highness??

What is his/her method of manipulation? Boasting/showing off, medieval!fantasy double dog daring, flirtation, compliments, witticisms, stepping over others bc he’s a big risk taker and he likes to show off and get ahead oops

Describe his/her daily routine. Getting up super early to go train, hanging w the boys and bashing them w swords and lances #truefriendship, a feast w the boys for lunch, riding out on the town, hitting the tavern, gambling, a party in the evening! basically all those stereotypical macho/jock things!!! these are the sorts of things he ~thinks his dad approves of, so they’re the things he does and that he tells himself he enjoys tho tbh he probs wouldn’t like any of them quite so much in other circumstances ngl bc all he really wants is genuine human connection and affection and to be useful to others and frankly he’s getting precious little of any of that ngl

Their go-to cure for a bad day? i feel like he likes to go hang out w his little sister bc she’s the one sibling he doesn’t have to compete w, plus he can be ~gentler w her anyway bc she’s ‘just a girl’ and knights treat ladies gently and all he wants is to treat and be treated gently but shhhh you didn’t hear that from me, plus also she’s the only woman in his life who isn’t really pressuing him bc his mom would probs reminds him – whether intentionally or not – that he needs to be out there impressing his dad etc, and even just other rando ladies are expecting him to do that but it doesn’t really matter to his younger sister bc she’ll be the sister of the next ruler regardless of which of them it is etc. anyway! basically he just wants a few wholesome pleasures and some affection and that’s just about it <3 but short of that he’ll resort to getting drunk :( and depending what their relationship ends up being like (since i feel like this isn’t the ~healthiest family dynamic in the world alksdjfkjlsdf) he might just skip the hangout and go straight for the drink so who knows, anyway the point here is that he doesn’t really know how to make himself feel ok when the armor of bravado breaks down which does happen from time to time bc no one can keep up an act 24/7 :/

CHARACTER GOALS:

How is your character dissatisfied with their life? His life is basically cultivated entirely to be a hellish trap for his entire personality!!! There is no part of this he ~actually enjoys! Everything he wants is everything he can’t have and he feels trapped and ultimately completely alone and unwanted and unlovable all of which btw are his v worst fears in this life so <3 plus, if he ever gives up on this competition that flies in the face of all that, he feels like he’ll just be confirming that all of those fears are 100% true so its lose/lose all the time

What does your character believe will bring them true happiness or contentment? The crown! But that’s a trap bc it can never make him happy in actuality once the coronation party is over <3

What definitive step could they take to turn their dream into a reality? His real dream, which he doesn’t acknowledge to himself, is to escape all of this and live a simple life of love and affection but, like, he doesn’t even really know this is a possibility at all and, even if he did, he wouldn’t think it was for ~him bc he believes he’s unlovable :( so!! he would tell you, and truly believe, that becoming the next emperor is his dream! and proving himself more capable than his bros is the only answer to that. ironically, failing this tho is the only ~real way to be happy <3

How has their fear kept them from taking this action already? afraid of proving himself unworthy of love to his dad, he will never, ever, ever persue a simple life!

How does your protagonist feel they can accomplish their goal while still steering clear of the thing they are afraid of? if he becomes emperor, he will be utterly happy AND he will have proven his value!!!! its the perfect plan!!!!!!!!

#about

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angelic-apple · 2 years

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So you lived online for nearly a decade getting radicalized by a hate group that colonized radfem. You get that all women forward gains by radfem were in the trans inclusive era right? And nothing but wasting time/money/resources has come out of terf radfem since? Well aside from an ever growing right political lean and alliances. I mean 7 years you can't have been in the terf bubble the whole time.

This is a long one so TL;DR at the end!

TW; self harm & suicide mentions

1) I've always been in hyper-progressive leftist spaces until less than 6 months ago and spent my entire isolation thinking I was trans. I wore a binder so much I now have rib and back pains regularly and my boobs sag. I presented myself as a man fully, and it made me so depressed I relapsed back to selfharm, something I had managed to keep at bay for almost two years and was very proud of because it was Hard. The more masc I presented the worse it got, because I looked more and more like a stranger to myself and I mistook that as dysphoria and spiraled even more. I can't wear comfortable t-shirts outside anymore in the heat because people will see my scars which is triggering to me. My self harm destroyed family relationships permanently. I cried a lot and was so miserable I had set plans to kill myself with booze and meds. If my country didn't have such strick firearm laws I would've just gotten a gun though.

I thought I was trans because I was a semi gnc woman with severe body dysmorphia who felt like a person rather than a stereotypical woman, and being a woman was meant to be a specific feeling I did not have. And every time I questioned myself and if transness was right for me I got bombed with affirmations that "being unsure is normal, you don't need xyz to be trans anyway, if you question your gender at all it probably means you aren't cis!" etc.

After I entered recovery and began to be around normal people in real life I quickly realized I was not a man and dropped the label quickly. I felt better as a result and I've been clean off self harm for over two years now. I love myself and my anatomy, something I wanted to cut off from myself so bad I wanted to die.

But when I finally stopped and told my friends I was wrong and that I'm a woman after all, I only had one friend who said "Okay!". The rest avoided it and continued to use he/they pronouns for me and refused to use my birthname instead of my trans name until recently. I felt rejected by people who had been my lifeline for years and like I had betrayed my peers.

Despite this I think being trans is a real thing. Some people do need to transition. I know many and they have done so and I am happy for them. I do not want transitioning to be inaccessible or eradicated.

I think trans healthcare should be improved actually. It needs to be able to handle more patients than it does now. It's cruel to make people wait for years for healthcare and then not be offered proper help but to be processed in and out in as few sessions as possible that are also months apart. Trans treatment should include long-term therapy, multiple appointments, screenings and regular check-ins during transition. This is not gatekeeping btw. I am unable to gatekeep anyone because I am not a doctor. Plus Idk why it's such a sin to wish proper healthcare for a group of people. Hormones are not a magical medicine and transitioning will not fix the other mental health issues you may have, only ease the load of constant stress coming in and that's only if transitioning is actually right for you. Taking someone's claims of their mental health at face value is not always helpful nor good for them. I've been at both ends, so i know it's a hard pill to swallow though.

2) I don't understand your need to mush feminism, lgb- and trans activism together into a single group. Women, ssa and trans folk all have very specific needs that do not intertwine a lot of the times. It's not exclusionary to want to keep the movements separate so each one can focus on what they need instead of pushing everyone together causing constant infighting about what goals to pursue. Nothing will change without active, large scale group efforts and any attempt for anyone to organise right now gets torn apart from the inside because of topic-unrelated disagreements. Which then again makes it easier for right leaning people to organise without a lash back and push discriminatory legislations forward while we're too busy arguing amongst ourselves. It also creates an unwelcoming environment for those who might want to join our movements, which kind of pales in the comparison to political groups on the right who often lovebomb you and seem overly welcoming so it's easier for them to gain more members.

You can be gay, a feminist and trans, still belong in all three groups and practice activism to better the lives of all these minorities separately.

That being said collaborative efforts should be made to improve the quality of life for all, but primary focus of each activist group should still remain issues affecting the specific minority the group is made for. I say this because in the current climate trans rights activism expects unconditional support from every other minority group with little to no help in return from what I've seen, but instead constantly inserting themselves in discussions for other minority rights conversations as well and expect to be patted on the back for it :/

3) I'm not trans exclusionary. I just believe in radical feminism ideologies and think bio sex is real and that I am oppressed for it. The current gender narrative has personally hurt me and due to radblr I was able to meet many other women who experienced the same thing and I feel refreshed because I can actually be myself here and say what I think.

A group of women disagreeing with you online =/= hateful systematic oppression. Blame the rich old white men running the world for that one like the rest of us.

TL;DR - I thought I was trans for a long time, I am a radfem because the current gender ideology hurt me personally. I still think being trans is real and think trans healthcare should be improved. I don't think wanting to keep specific political movements for specific minorities is exclusionary, it's keeping goals clear and making it easier to organise instead of constant infighting, which makes it easier for right wingers to organise and recruit more members im return. You can belong in multiple minorities and activist groups without having to join them all together.

#sorry this is long and my brain feels suoer fuzzy rn #I forgot to take my meds today ://#radfem #radical feminism #gender critical #anon #ask #long post #rambling apple #pls send me your opinions this if you think I'm being stupid I'm always open for feedback!#suicide mention #tw self harm

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incarnateirony · 1 month

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You know, thinking about my post about the metempsychosis shift, the mood shift, her increasing stretches of silence, restrained posting into rebellious burst posting into only her morning fuckup of "oops I showed I never read a hermes book... twice, back to back" into day long silence, like.

She's sitting there trying to figure out another narrative to spin, ain't she?

Like she's so deep in this shit and told so many lies until she forgot the truth, and acted so grossly, and abusively, for so long, for no good reason but exactly what I've explained to her as her lone excuse. But then, like... how can she be bad guy? No this is meanie evil ex she had to warn the whole goddamn world about wherever he went, years after breaking up. The fuck you mean she was the baddie like the nazi gif that only exists because her great uncle commited a holocaust?

idk man. Weird. And you can't even fully villainize my other actions. Did I cuss and yell and threaten when it went off? Yeah, because not only was this bitch shaking the dragon graveyard under me nonstop, but I packed the superbowl up our asses to make it loud while she pretended not to see or hear anything, and man, I got a lot of amp and bass. And there's a lot of pissed off generations. But in the end, I'm still trying to help at least Athena once she showed signs of life. There are ways out of this for her that don't involve losing everything, and it literally comes down to 1. Face yourself 2. Tell the truth. Out Loud.

So it's gotta be increasingly difficult while she watches gnostic mages and channelers sing my song and talk about the great game, the suicide hotline, 8ball, whatever the fuck. Just clearly specific ass things, while she tried to ignore me even essentially controlling her blog, timeline, warning when her bird would get sick, all of it. Just ignore ignore ignore. And now there's all this pain, suffering, and public humiliation on her hands, just because she wouldn't stop 2 months ago. Or 8. Or 3 years. Or 10. Or 20.

But actually making her type out something to the tune of "I was fucked up, I was wrong, I've hurt people, and I've been living in a state of ongoing delusion that is destructive to myself and everyone around me, the rumpocky was never real, Brian was always part of Aaron's Brain, and that's different from my Niekai Brain, and my addiction to Brian* has led me to do terrible things." is just. Like. 404 error what the fuck do you mean misfit Athena kinnie drained of 90% of her IQ can be wrong?

Even once she faces it, once she does for real, there's nothing she can do. Like. ATHENA GO KICK AARON'S ASS. Why. Beyond him being one of the annoying tricksters. Like he got me out. You're functional now. WELL UH--BECAUSE. No, no falling down the pit of Because, that's where the Hounds of Reason have been chewing on you.

I dunno, it just feels like she's legit trying to find a way she can still roleplay narrative out of it while half glancing over her proverbial shoulder at the idea of the Athena inside, not outside, but the ramifications of it on her entire life are too much, so just. Catloaf and pretend not to see or hear it while trying to meditate out a way to go "but... this is HIS fault, somehow."

The only fault of mine is taking the Action of setting off this trap, but I was not even alone in that, and had assistance from brothers and capacitators outside of myself that wanted to see it born, too. And I will own the Act of this, because this Act brings Freedom, for myself at least if not her. That's it, that's the part that's my fault. Setting at least myself, if not her, free. Or burying a monster. Her choice which it becomes.

Otherwise? Naw lady. You even drove into this while I warned you for months on my blog not to. This is all you, lady. Just cough up the air jordans, the confession, the apology, and start deleting shit that doesn't belong to you.

It's time to let us go and actually move forward with your life.

You'd be surprised how many less pills you'll need to not rip out your hair once you do that, much less what kind of "magic" you can do. No seriously before you needed like one bipolar medication and probably coulda used the ritalin, so that's like. 2. Not handfuls every time girl.

There is no magic, only Will.

Do what thou will shall be the whole of the law, and sometimes that involves destroying evil for giggles.

youtube

And even once she faces it, then Mark has to face his complicity and involvement in it, and has to start facing his own actions and shadows all the same, and everything that was enabled down Delulu Road. And Shea will have to process that about their entire relationship.

Mess.

#Youtube

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daemonoferror · 11 months

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Excuse me while I complain a bit

I get migranes sometimes that (usually) make half my body go numb. Fucking horrifying right? It is. I half medicine to help it but I'm like. Scared. Of taking too much medicine. And this shit is like "could potentially fuck you up? Only allotted 8 a month" so whenever possible I try not to use it

But at 3-4 am this morning I woke up with not JUST half my body numb, oh baby my ENTIRE MOTHERFUCKING BODY was numb. Idk if the migrane had something to do with it or if just the sheer terror of the sensation sent me into a panic attack but holy shit I felt like I couldn't breathe

And whenever I get these migranes my first priority is ~clearly~ to not make a scene. That'd be stupid! Like literally the first one I got I was 15 on a plane and I thought I was actually having a stroke, which btw is the way my grandfather died. So so fun. I thought "I might be dying. But I'll die faster if a flight attendant sees me and tries to help-"

And once I stumbled through my father's apparement to get my meds once and walked past him thinking "dont act suspicious, dont fall dont fall" and then burst into tears when I dropped the pills and my dad called out asking if I was alright and I couldn't form a coherent answer back.

ALL this to say- what I could've done was called or texted my mom and said "help. Need water." And she probably would've helped. But instead I stumbled downstairs pills in hand, unsure if I was making it back upstairs, to get a glass of water. Why didn't I take it dry? Because I'm a coward that's why. Also didn't have confidence in my swallowing abilities given I could hardly fucking breathe. And some fucking demonic beast decided to make the pills packaging the HARDEST DAMN THING TO OPEN LIKE WHAT THE FUCK MAN

IMAGINE you're me here. You woke up, you probably got less than 2 hours of sleep. Your mind isnt minding, your limbs aren't limbing. They feel weak and tired- everything feels like it weighs 5x what it should and your hands dont necessary want to do what they need to do. Imagine an alien controlling a human body. Hands sorta flailing around, no good grip on anything, sorta floating like they're in zero gravity or some shit. Surgeon simulator style.

And this mother fucking packaging holds a tiny teeny itty-bitty pill in some sorta hard plastic tin foil shit that refuses to break.

I was crying and waving scissors around when I finally opened it.

I didn't fall asleep for another hour. And now I'm awake. And I have been since 7:30. Because unlike and other day where I peacefully sleep through my

The conclusion to this epic tale? My body feels so so fucking weak now. And I feel awful. And tired. And I guess this is my life now.

Man, I just wanted to see Across the Spiderverse today :(

#tw migraine #tw medicine #sean's epic tales

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figreviews · 1 year

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1/7/2023: prisoners of geography by tim marshall

3.5/5 stars: informative and interesting, but written by a white british man named tim

this was a christmas gift from one madam charlotte, so endless thanks for that!! reading this made me feel very brainy and i learned a lot of fun facts which i'm always a huge fan of. i feel much better equipped now to defeat my grandfather if he starts bitching about his views anymore thanks to my widespread knowledge of geopolitics, but bill has been on his best behavior as of late so i'm hoping this can stay a more back-pocket in-case-of-emergency weapon. this book gives me the potential to seem a lot smarter and worldly than i am which i find particularly useful due to the life philosophy that has been handed down from my father—"baffle them with your bullshit." in terms of its application to my efforts to become a renaissance man, i would rate this 5/5 stars.

however, i do have my fair share of qualms with this book. the reading experience was pretty unremarkable which isn't necessarily a complaint for non-fiction books but idk just something to keep in mind. if you're new to the non-fiction scene or don't want something that makes you feel a little like you're doing homework, i would not really recommend this. that being said, i can definitely appreciate the vibe of the latter because then you feel soooo productive :). you can definitely tell it was written by a british white man named tim. kinda reeks of neoliberalism all around which strikes a bit of a sore spot, especially in its discussion of non-european places. nothing overly problematic, just his handling of things like the israel-palestine conflict makes me go "hmm." it's also super focused on the choice locations only post-colonization which i guess i can understand since they're more related to modern global politics, but i find that it cuts people of color out of the story. like they're only mentioned in cases of "ooh look the indigenous people are fighting because europeans butchered their borders" which is very true, don't get me wrong, but conflict is all we really learn about them. on the other hand, the economic success of white people is emphasized and praised while barely acknowledging their sacrifice of people of color to get to that point.

i would recommend this book to:

someone who's mad that they don't really understand and can't participate in discussions with a hint of international politics

people who read physical newspapers

your npr-listening family member

a high school teacher

anyone who hates russia or china and needs to take a fucking chill pill about it

anyone who wants to say hmm in a good or bad way

people with natural hair colors

people who drink english breakfast tea

probably not my grandpa because i fear he would either weaponize it in an early-onset dementia-induced haze or give it back to me, fully annotated with all of the sections he disagrees with

#enjoying the concept of flexing on finance bros with my global knowledge #i really don't know how to read stuff like this #please grandpa keep being normal #pleak #book recommendations #nonfiction #book review

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