I should have driven home myself

Sorry ask was gonna be a pain with how short of count and they took away fan mail. Feel free to screenshot if you accept this and format as you like or whatever.

To that anon I know how it feels. To feel stuck because someone needs you. I was in an toxic relationship with someone who was disabled. Someone who needed my support to go to the hospital and ect ect.

Forget them. I'm serious. Go away, be by yourself for a while, take a holiday and block them. Just because someone is disabled or ill or whatever doesn't mean you have to stay. I thought I'd be a monster for leaving my ex but it doesn't. That person's not a good person and they are just using it as another tool to control you. Your allowed to leave, you don't have to stay.

I saw a bunch of all the people above me and you might think 'oh it's not that bad' or try to defend him. No. Your lucky enough to have these lovely people to the you the red flags. I wish I could have people to tell me when something's bad.

Moving in together is a massive step in any relationship. It should be thought out and planned before. It's exciting right? But that excitement will go away. Moving in is really hard work and when you live with something everything's so much different. You are stuck with that person and they no longer put on any nice facade at all. They are going to be how they normal are but 24/7.

I was going to move in with my ex, but I had an anxiety attack about a week before and suddenly left him. Best decision of my life. I can't imagine how much worse it would be, it wasn't untul months until I finally cut him off that I sat back and relaxing and realised how to be happy. Think of yourself, when was the last time you sat back and didn't have to worry about him? Think about yourself, it's okay to be selfish. I left my ex without a place to live and a week left of his renting situation and guess what. He was fine.

If you leave, the world will continue, they will be fine. Just because they seem they need you doesn't mean they do. What I mean is, I that time will go on and they will figure it out. My first voice call from my ex was 'how could you do this to me?'. Fuck em that's why. Your more important than any person in the world. Look after yourself first.

But Afterall this. If you take one thing from everyone. Don't move in. Moving in is the beginning of the end. It's so much harder to get away once your moved in.

If you do move in please please at least keep your finances seperate. My parents of like 40 years have. Itz the healthy thing to do, do not let him convince you to have one account which he has control over because you will become co reliant on him. Don't ever let him ask you for money.

Because like me, you won't get it back. Even when he does have money. Don't ignore the red flags like I do and make excuses for them, it's okay to be in a bad spot. It happens it's a part of life. 'but he loves me.' It doesn't matter if someone loves you, they can still be bad.

Take some time to yourself, give yourself some breathing room. Go hang with a friend, never let him shame you for having friends. (Neve let him isolate you.) I'm personally bisexual so my ex could never be like 'but their a male and they wanna sleep with you.' Like if someone does that, red flag, shows they don't trust you.

Think about the situation, I was excited one day to get married to my ex. He knew that and he used that. Forget any promises. They are just that, I promised to do a 24 hour stream. Did I? No, I couldn't handle it. Does the world end? No. It's okay to let go. It's okay, you may feel like your trapped in, ask someone in your life for help. On your side, not from his life. If Therese anyone that you can go to and be like 'im in a toxic relation' please do, an old teacher, a parent. Anyone. Do it.

I might be getting off track here. Think of yourself first. Don't try to convince me or anyone else that 'oh this is what I want.' I know it's easy to fight back and insist. I say that because it doesn't matter. We can't force you to do anything. The only person who matters is you. Truely think, do you really want to be truly stuck with this person 24 / 7?

---

You all really coming through for this Anon and I love to see it honestly. And the submission is very welcome. Thank you so much for helpping out.

Chosen (for all the wrong reasons)

A Hotch/Reid fic crossposted from my ao3 (https://archiveofourown.org/works/23649229)

Aaron knew it wasn’t necessarily rational. He knew exactly why Spencer had picked him, he knew why it was him who his lover named to be killed. He knew it was a message, in reality, he truly knew it, and understood it loud and clear. But no matter how well he knew this, he couldn’t help the voice in the back of his mind that screamed that he wasn’t picked because he would understand what Reid wanted to say. He couldn’t help but let the dark depths of his mind wander to places he never wished to reach, where the only thoughts were that he wasn’t good enough, that he wasn’t wanted, and the words resounding through his head, overpowering all other thoughts, were that maybe, he wasn’t ever really loved by anyone.

The moment Spencer said his name, his heart shattered into thousands of tiny little pieces. Hotch was sure that if anyone had been looking at his face at that one moment in time, their relationship would become clear as day, and the whole team would have seen, and to a certain extent, understood, the heartbreak he felt. But he quickly fixed his expression, covering up any evidence that his straight-faced facade had ever broken.

Even when Reid called him a narcissist, he didn’t understand why his name was said, not at first. It took him a few moments to work it out, realising it only because it seemed so strange for Spencer to say that. His partner was normally reassuring him that his faults didn’t matter, not pointing them out for everyone to see. And narcissism seemed a strange thing to pick out of all of the plentiful choices he had, because he didn’t really fit either of the definitions they had discussed - and that was when it had hit him, and he quickly continued on with the case, concern at the forefront of his mind.

The team found Spencer, and he was safe, thank god, even if he was bruised and beaten, and had so many mental scars. It pained him to see his lover so clearly struggling with the drugs, struggling to resist the urge to continue using, and the thoughts he was trying to keep at bay stayed away, for a while anyway, but he knew it wouldn’t last long. By the time Spencer was finishing his physical recovery, he could no longer keep the thoughts at bay.

He felt guilty, spending his time dwelling on these useless thoughts when really, he came out of the situation unharmed, objectively, but especially when compared to his partner, who came out with so many unbelievable mental and physical scars. Hotch knew he was weak for feeling this way, he was so keenly aware that he should be being strong, and not let his childish emotions get the best of him. His father made sure he knew from a young age that he was weak in this way, however, so how could he expect anything better from himself?

So, in his very typical way, Aaron held his feelings close to his chest, not revealing anything, not even to those closest to him. He kept his face blank and tried to keep his feelings from clouding his actions. He wasn’t angry, just… disappointed. He thought he had found someone who loved him, and theoretically, he still somewhat understood he did. In practice, seeing that was much harder. Regardless of his best efforts, he began to withdraw from the world around him, in his head so much more than he normally would be. He avoided Reid whenever he could because he wished that maybe if he stayed further away, he could either make Spencer like him more, as he wouldn’t see all of his flaws, or at least let the relationship slowly break naturally, so that the heartbreak might come slowly, and his heart wouldn’t shatter again.

Of course, this was a terrible plan, as despite his personal struggles and general inability to understand social situations, Spencer Reid was not an idiot. He could see that something was wrong with his partner, even if he had no clue what. He noticed Aaron’s constant distance, and the way he would do anything to help him, but never do anything for himself. He didn’t understand what had happened, or if it was something he had done or said.

“Boy Genius! To what do I owe the pleasure of speaking to you on this fine day?” Garcia said joyfully.

“Garcia, I need your help with something,” he began, “Well more accurately your advice… On a, well a personal matter.”

“Oh wow! Okay, what can I do for you then?” She almost dropped the phone in shock, not expecting that at all from the young man. “Is it about a special someone? Do you have a date?”

“Err… Well, I guess in a way. If I tell you, you need to not tell the team. Like not at all, not even Morgan can know.”

“Top secret! This is exciting! Now let the Goddess of Love know what is going on.”

Spencer was almost shaking. They hadn’t told anyone on the team, the only people that knew were his mother, Sean, and a few of Aaron’s old friends. They knew what repercussions it could have on the team, interpersonally and professionally.

“It’s Aaron. We have been dating for a while, and I am kind of worried about him because I can tell something is wrong, but he won’t talk to me, and I have no experience in these situations, and did you know that over 70%-”

“Hey, Spence, slow down there buddy!” She cut him off before he could fully begin to ramble. “So you and Boss-Man got together? That's pretty cool. You are definitely telling me all about that later, but for now, what's wrong with our mighty captain?”

“That’s the issue. I have no idea. He keeps avoiding me and he looks really sad and distant, but I don’t know what I’ve done!” Spencer was slowly getting more and more stressed and his agitation grew at his confusion.

“Calm down, I’m here to help. When did this start?” “I’m not really sure… He has seemed weird ever since… well you know, but it only got bad a few weeks after, and it keeps getting worse and worse and I am really worried about him. He hasn’t struggled this much since Haley left with Jack.”

Penelope was shaking her head, partly out of worry, for both of her boys, but also fond exasperation. For all that both of them were extremely intelligent and competent, they were absolutely useless with emotions.

“Spencer, I think you really need to talk to Hotch about this. Hankel was hard for you, and the aftermath certainly has been too, and he has probably been so worried about you being okay that he has forgotten to think about how he feels. Now before you go all self-deprecating and thinking this is all your fault, it’s not. You just need to have a good, healthy, slightly overdue emotional talk.”

“Thanks, Garcia. You are the best. And please, don’t-”

“Tell anyone, yeah, I got it. And I know. Good luck with the boss!”

Spencer placed his head in his hands after Penelope hung up the phone. Neither he nor Aaron were particularly good at emotional talks, in fact, both generally aimed to avoid them like the plague. But their relationship was on the line, and he would face anything to defend that.

So he picked up his phone, and quickly texted Aaron, letting him know that he would be coming over that evening, and bringing dinner, because they had to talk.

--

When Hotch got a text from Spencer ending in “we need to talk,” his mind went into overdrive. This was the end, the relationship was as good as done now. It hurt, more than he wanted to admit, given he knew it was most likely only a matter of time before Spencer left him, since he didn’t really love him, not as much as he loved his best friends on the team, or even Prentiss, the new agent who he barely knew.

He checked the time. He had an hour before it all ended, before his whole world collapsed. That meant just over an hour before Spencer would leave him breaking down, before everything they had turned back into a “just colleagues” relationship. It was strange. Hotch had expected the prior knowledge that it was coming to make it hurt less, but it was just as hard as finding Haley in bed with another man. Maybe it would have hurt less if this time it wasn’t his fault. But it was. Once is a fluke - his family couldn't love him. Twice is a coincidence - he wasn’t enough for his wife and his son. Three times, well that has to be a pattern.

Aaron washed his face, freshened up, and sat down at the table, staring at the clock as the time ticked on by. 60 minutes. 50 minutes. 40 minutes. 30 minutes. 20, 15, 10, 5. Just before the clock was about to change, to hit the impending time, a soft knock on the door pulled him away. It was here, It was the end.

To say that Spencer was stressed would have to be the understatement of the year. His palms were sweating, and his mind was racing with thoughts about absolutely everything. What if the whole issue was that he wasn’t good enough, or didn’t pay Aaron enough attention, or-- He was pulled out of his head by the door opening, showing his partner looking more fragile, more frightened than he had ever been, staring down the barrel of a gun or waiting for a bomb to explode.

“Hey, Aaron, are you okay?” Spencer asked, cautiously, as he made his way into the house. Hotch straightened his face and tensed up.

“Yes Reid, I am fine. What did you want to talk about?” Keeping it together was killing the older man, as he was just ready to breakdown as a result of all the pent up emotions.

“I wanted to check in on you, because you have seemed… off, for lack of a better word, for the last few weeks. You have been avoiding me, and you have seemed distant and sad. I love you, but you need to tell me how you are feeling. I could profile you, but I can’t read your mind.”

Every second that passed was a monumental challenge for Aaron, and he was so, so tired of keeping secrets, of hiding how he felt. But he also knew if he told Spencer, he would blame himself, and it was no one’s fault but his, for being so unloveable.

“I’m fine. I’m sure you heard me the first time, so if that is all you have to say, you can go.”

“Aaron! I’m not leaving until you stop lying to me. I am not letting the best relationship I have ever had fall apart because we can’t talk to one another. I love you! Nothing will change that, so just tell me what is going on!”

It was weird for Hotch to see Spencer like this. He barely raised his voice in general, let alone at Aaron. Between that, and hearing him say that he loved him, he broke. He could no longer hold back all that he had been feeling.

“But do you love me, Spencer? You spend all this time telling me that it is true and that all my numerous flaws don’t bother you, but when push comes to shove, when you have to make a choice, you don’t really care for me. No one does.”

He regrets saying it as soon as the words leave his mouth. It was the wrong thing to say, without a doubt, and now Aaron has just ruined any chances of Spencer still wanting anything to do with him.

Spencer felt ashamed of himself. He claims to be a genius, and yet he missed what was right in front of him this whole time. Of course, given his past, everything that happened with Hankel, choosing Aaron to be killed would cause him problems. Suddenly the whole situation made so much more sense.

“Aaron, my love,” He began, “You know I love you. I love your flaws, your perfections, and every single thing that makes you the incredible person you are. Everything that happened with… him, all I was trying to do was get back to you safely. I didn’t pick you because I care about you less, instead, it was because I trust you so much. I knew you would get my message and save me.”

The two men wandered over to the couch, and Aaron lay on Spencer, turning his head to look him in the eyes.

“I’m so so sorry,” he softly cried, “I should be stronger than this. You are the one who was hurt, not me. I’m sorry I am so weak. I’ll try to change. I’ll be better. I’ll be perfect for you!”

Spencer slowly and soothingly talked to Aaron. “You don’t have to change or be stronger. You are the best man I know. You would do anything for me, for the team, for Jack. Anyone who tells you anything else is someone you should ignore.”

As they lay there on that couch, enjoying the soft silence and each other’s company, they internally reflected on all that had happened. If nothing else, this had just proven the strength of their relationship and allowed them to continue to grow.

(Also, Spencer thought, he really needs to get Garcia the greatest gift he can. Maybe a date with a certain blonde media liaison she was most definitely into? He should probably also let Hotch know that Garcia knows. He will probably not be too impressed by that.)

Do the even ones greater than 50!

That’s quite a few, but fortunately I need a little relaxation right now.

52. Do you ever want to get married?On the whole, yes. I don’t believe it should be religiously necessary, and I respect people who object to the history associated with marriage, or who think it’s just a piece of paper. It sounds like a financial pain in the butt, and it’s a risky move, logically speaking. But to me, it represents a conversation between two people that their life together is no longer provisional; a confirmation that they want to spend their lives together and work together as a team. I’m a realist; many marriages end in divorce, and I have as good a chance as anyone else of falling victim to those statistics. And it’s OK if things don’t work out; life can be complicated. But I also believe that when you meet the right person, there’s something special about agreeing to take that leap of faith together, and trying your best. Knowing someone feels that way about you must be an irreplaceable feeling.

54. Have you ever been cheated on? No, and I hope not to be.

56. Are you an introvert or an extrovert? Introvert who’s had to pick up enough extrovert skills due to work and adulting. But really, I revert to introverted given half a chance.

58. What talent do you wish you’d been born with?Time travel or teleportation. Maybe flying. Do healing powers count as a talent? Lol. Realistically though, I guess I wouldn’t change who I was. Not because I’m perfect (far from it); there are lots of skills I’d love to have the time to develop. But I think it’s better to focus on what you can do now, rather than what you would have wished to have been.

60. Do you believe in love at first sight? No. Don’t get me wrong, I believe in attraction at first sight; I’m mortal, and very occasionally when I meet someone something inside goes “!!!”, but it’s usually a multifactorial thing, and it rarely happens on my first interaction with someone. But, that’s not the same as knowing someone intimately and loving them for who they are; this is not something that can happen instantly or be rushed. Most of my crushes developed over time. Maybe it doesn’t help that I am faceblind, which usually complicates things. This can make online dating harder; a picture on its own means little to me;someone can be absolutely gorgeous like a painting, but leave me cold or be completely forgettable. Talking is therefore a very important part of the process for me; you gain a much better idea of how well you click.

62. Have you ever dyed your hair? Yep, every few months since my mid 20s. I was gifted with greying hair since my late teens, and my ascension to silver-hair has rapidly gained pace since my mid 20s. My hair is greyest at the temples, which means that my usual hairstyle hides it pretty effectively. I’m quite a low maintenance person when it comes to my hair; I really just want to brush it, tie it in a bun and get on with my life. So I dye it as close to what is left of my natural hair colour as possible. I wish I had the time and energy to do something more dramatic with my hair, but medicine isn’t the easiest job to do wacky hair things. One day, I’ll let myself go natural with my hair, but given that most of my seniors in their 40s or 50s are less grey than me, I’m not quite ready to embrace the look, yet.

64. Would you go against your moral code for money?I hope not. I don’t care about money enough to compromise the things I believe in, but I’m also fortunate that I’m not impoverished. I know that’d be a much more difficult question to answer if it came from a position of severe financial need. It’s easy to say you wouldn’t do something for money when you are comfortable.

66. Who are you jealous of?I don’t believe in indulging feelings of jealousy (or envy, since the technical term jealousy doesn’t seem to fit here?), but in working through any stigmatised, negative emotions you feel. I’m not someone who gets particularly insecure about seeing other people’s lives on facebook or instagram etc. We all want different things at different times, and life is not a competition. Someone else’s happiness does not take yours away.

But in the loosest sense, sometimes, when I’m halfway through a set of 12h shifts, revising in my off hours and too tired/busy to see the people I care about or indulge my interests? I look at people living their normal 9-5 lives, with the time and energy to spend with loved ones and indulge their hobbies, and I feel a twinge that makes me re-evaluate my relationship with work because I too just want to be happy and maintain some semblance of a work-life balance. And if you just hang out with medics, you get a really warped perception of what a normal, healthy life is, so it’s actually important to hang out with non-medics too, and realise that there’s more to life than obsessing over medicine. Life needs balance, and I’m happy that people sometimes remind me of that, even if it’s at times when it gives me complicated feelings about it all.

68. How long was your longest relationship? My longest relationship is with myself, and with my parents who have put up with me for over three decades. My longest friendship has lasted since I was around 8 years old; we still talk regularly even though my best friend from primary school has now moved abroad! I’m still in touch with friends from secondary school, and even talk to some med school friends who I met in my previous degree pretty much daily. In comparison, no romantic relationship has lasted nearly as long, but they’ve lasted as long as was realistically feasible at the time. That’s not a competition; we put romantic relationships through a very different kind of process, because they are essentially an extended interview for a particularly intimate place in your life.

70. What is the sexiest thing someone could ever do for/to you? Be a feminist. Nothing like a guy that respects women, treats me like a person and understands the importance of consent.

But really. Most people? Nothing. If you don’t like someone, nothing is gonna make them sexy, no matter how alluring they might try to be. But if you like someone, isn’t almost anything they do kind of sexy because they are the one doing it? I find someone doesn’t even need to be trying to be remotely sexy if you like them, it just sort of… happens. Half the fun is the way that your gaze lingers over small, almost imperceptible details and mannerisms that make them who they are. That’s my excuse for getting uh… distracted by the most random things, anyway!

72. Are you in a relationship?I’ve retired from online dating and am seeing someone. There are a lot of things going on on my life right now (and theirs), so I’m just happy to take things one step at a time and see what happens.

74. Are you a bad person? I don’t believe so? At the very least, I hope I can try my best not to be. I try to be kind, and to do better. I try to learn from my mistakes. I don’t believe in passing value judgements on people lightly; most people aren’t ‘bad people’, and by stigmatising making mistakes, we can make it harder for people to admit their mistakes and learn from them. And it makes it harder for people to process their feelings and past experiences and work on doing better.

76. What did you do on your last birthday? I don’t remember that I did anything at all on my last birthday, actually. I think I took the day off work, so I must have done something; I’m pretty sure I celebrated with a few friends and family, because I always do something, even if it is something minor. But it’s been years since I did 'big’ birthday meetups, because it’s impossible to get most of my friends in the same place these days.

78. If your best friend died, what would you do? Be bereft. I don’t really know how to answer this question; does it want a description of the entire grieving process? Needless to say, the sudden death of someone close to me would be a huge shock.

80. If you only had 24 hours to live, what would you do? Do my best to spend time with all the people I care about and let them know how much they mean to me. Probably write some letters for their future selves, to make sure I got everything across. Give them all something of mine that I thought they would like, so they’d have something to remember me by.

82. Are you happier single or in a relationship? I’ve been single for much longer than I’ve ever been in relationships, and I’ve been perfectly happy single for the majority of that time. There’s a self-contained peace to living a happy, fulfilling single life, and I don’t believe that being single deserves the stigma that it sometimes gets. I get a lot of hassle from relatives about being single, but that was always frustrating because they assumed I must be miserable when I really wasn’t. That said, spending time with a person who makes you happy is also a pretty nice feeling, and contributes something a little different to your happiness. It can make an already nice life a bit nicer, even if it isn’t technically essential to live a nice life.

84. What is your happiest childhood memory?I don’t know that I can pick one. I have fond memories of birthday parties, or playing with my friends or sister. Fun days out in the park. School assemblies. That kind of thing.

86. Have you ever had an imaginary friend? No. I had a very vivid inner life as a kid; lots of stories about what the toys got up to, but they weren’t my friends as much as they were players in our stories. Maybe it’s because I had a sibling that I never really needed an imaginary friend.

88. What is your ideal career? Helping people, but then also getting to write/draw about it, and helping other people who help people.

Because competitive 'staying in bed all day with cats and a hot drink’ is not a real job, apparently.

90. Are you conservative or liberal? Liberal. Nothing much to say here; that shouldn’t come as a surprise to anyone who reads my blog.

92. Do you like kissing in public? No. I’m a shy person by nature, so sloppy PDAs don’t come naturally to me. I also don’t like being stuck next to couples who are getting pretty intimate on the tube, so I don’t like the idea of making others comfortable by forcing my own romantic interactions on them. I’m a much cuddlier person in private, as my loved ones will attest.

94. Where would you like to live? I have no set plans, which is just as well because you never know where life will take you, between work or relationships. My parents never planned to end up where they did, so I remember their example and try not to get too hung up on planning exactly what form the future will take; because you really don’t always know where you will end up. But I’d ideally like to live in or around London, close enough to family and friends that they can remain a part of my life. To me, being able to spend time with the people you care about is important self-care, and ultimately important for my happiness.

96. Describe yourself in one word.thoughtful.

Little Beta(s) Chapter 42

Prompt: Liam get’s turned at an early age and he looks at you as his guardian/parent. Plus you’re dating Scott who’s always trying to look after him. (10 year gap between Liam and reader)

Pairing: Liam Dunbar x Reader (platonic) Scott McCall x Reader, Derek Hale (younger and platonic) x Reader

Chapters:

1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10 - 11 - 12 - 13 - 14 - 15 - 16 - 17 - 18 - 19 - 20- 21 - 22 - 23 - 24 -25 - 26 - 27 - 28 - 29 - 30 - 31 - 32 - 33 - 34 - 35 - 36 - 37 - 38 - 39 - 40 - 41

Reader’s POV

The boys have been inseparable with Scott. I had expected it from Liam but Derek had found a new kind of bond with Scott and it was something I was happy to see. Scott obviously loved the attention as they only paid attention to me for the longest time. Scott would rub it in my face that Liam was no longer looking for me when something had happened to him and with this pregnancy it made me cry more than it should have. Scott obviously would feel bad and tell Liam to come talk to me but it wasn’t the same. Liam was no longer attached to me like he once was and I knew the reason behind it was because of the baby girl growing inside of me. Derek had been a bit more attached to me than anyone in the house and I was thankful for that because when I felt like I was being left out he’d come and make me feel better. I knew he could smell my sadness which is probably why he would do it but I didn’t care. “Mom!” Derek’s hand waved in front of my face. “Dad said we’re going to go visit his mom, is that true?” He had also been calling Scott dad which made him happy as hell. 

“Yeah, we should be leaving anytime soon, grab a bag, put two sets of clothes in it, we’ll be staying in beacon hills for two days.” I spoke lightly and I sighed knowing beacon hills was no where I wanted to be. 

“Mom have you seen my jacket?” Liam’s loud voice boomed from his shared room and I sighed. 

“It’s in the laundry room, please try not to make a mess this time.” I raised my eyebrows when he past by me and he chuckled. “Have any of you seen Scott? He said he’d be here,” I looked at the time on the stove and sighed. “Thirty minutes ago.” 

“He said he was going to pass by the school and tell them he and Derek won’t be able to make the game on Saturday.” Liam spoke as he walked passed me with his favorite jacket, the same one I had gotten him when he was only eleven. He finally grew into it but it was worn out. 

“Liam, why don’t you take one of the other jackets you have hanging up?” He looked down at his jacket before looking up at me. 

“This is my favorite jacket, you know that.” He looked down at it once again and smiled. The door rattled and Scott walked in. 

“Finally.” Derek spoke. “Should we get everything in the car?” He had his bag in his hands and Scott smiled. 

“Yeah, go ahead, I'm just going to freshen up.” Scott walked to me rubbing his hand on my now very noticeable belly before kissing my lips. “I’m sorry I took so long, they were giving me shit about missing one of the playoff games.” He sighed and I smiled patting his cheek. 

“Don’t worry about it, I'm excited to see everyone back home.” I smiled causing him to smile back. 

“I know, I've missed everyone. My mom is definitely going to be happy to see all of us on her birthday.” His arms wrapped around me and I smiled into his chest. I loved that they’re hadn’t be any drama within these past months and normal was definitely working for all of us. Liam had even made a couple friends. 

“Come on, you guys can be gross another day.” Liam spoke and I laughed kissing Scott’s cheek before letting him go shower. 

_________

A couple hours later we were finally driving into beacon hills. Driving passed everything felt so weird and it felt strange. Nothing had changed but for us nothing would ever be the same. “My mom said everyone turned out for her birthday, we’re the only once missing.” Scott grabbed my hand and I knew he was more than excited to see everyone. It had been a lonely time where we were now living and it sucked to think that everyone we knew was here. 

“Mason’s going to be there right dad?” Liam spoke and all he had been talking about was how excited he was to see his best friend. 

“Yeah buddy, he’s gonna be there, in fact, I'm willing to bet he’s already there.” Scott smiled squeezing my hand when he pulled up to his mom’s driveway. 

“Wow, she invited the whole town.” Derek spoke making us all laugh. 

“Yeah well she does know the entire town.” I spoke and sighed when I opened the door to feel the cold air. Scott had come to my door to help me out of the car and I thanked him. It was getting harder to do simple tasks now that I was as fat as a cow. 

“You ready?” Scott spoke before intertwining hand in mine. 

“As ready as I'll ever be.” I smiled. This was going to be the first time everyone saw us and I was five months pregnant. We walked up to the door and knocked noticing Melissa’s smile as soon as the door opened. 

“Scott!” She wrapped her arms around him crying in the process. It had been so long and I found myself crying too by the time her arms wrapped around me. “Oh it’s so good to see you all.” She smiled at Derek and Liam taking them both into her arms. “You’ve gotten so big, you’re already taller than your mom.” She ruffled Liam’s hair and I groaned not wanting to be reminded of that. “Wow.” She looked down at my stomach and she looked back at me. “May I?” Her eyes were joyful and I smiled.

“It’s your granddaughter, you don’t have to ask.” I smiled and her hands immediately flew to my stomach. 

“I can’t believe this.” She smiled and sniffed before retreating her hands. “Come in, please.” She stepped aside and we all walked in noticing everyone including Lydia who ran straight to my stomach to observe it. 

“Oh my god! You’re so big already!” She smiled rubbing my stomach and I smiled. “Not like you’re fat or anything.” She added and I chuckled. 

“Lydia, it’s fine, I know what you meant.” I smiled and Stiles came right behind her. 

“How’s my niece?” He spoke placing his hand on my stomach. 

“She’s healthy, growing extremely fast.” I sighed looking down at the bump. 

“Is Mason here?” Liam chimed in, he hated talking about the baby, only because that’s all we ever talked about back home. 

“No, I haven’t heard from him today.” Lydia spoke and he sighed. 

“Why don’t you and Derek go eat, yeah?” I smiled at him and he shrugged moving passed the people he didn’t know and greeting the ones he did, Derek doing the same and stopping when he saw Scott’s dad who took him into a choke hold, they had the weirdest relationship and I had only imagined that’s how he would have acted with Scott if he hadn’t left. 

_________

After an hour I could feel my feet throbbing from standing up so I sat on the couch. It had been wonderful seeing everyone and sharing the excitement of this baby but I couldn’t help but notice Liam’s frown on his face. “Liam.” I lightly shouted and he looked at me before walking to me completely worried. 

“What’s wrong? Is everything okay? Should I get dad?” I smiled and shook my head when I placed a hand on his arm. 

“No, everything is fine honey, what’s wrong with you? You aren’t happy to see everyone?” He sighed and looked down at his hands. 

“I am, I just, I thought I'd see Mason, he’s not answering my calls. I haven’t seen him in months and I thought maybe just maybe I'd see him here tonight.” I knew he missed Mason and I knew even though he had friends over there he still considered Mason as his best friend. 

“Hey, it’s okay, he probably couldn’t come because of his parents, we’ll still be here tomorrow, maybe we can go and see him, how does that sound?” I smiled at him and he shrugged. 

“I guess that’s fine. I just feel like he’s forgetting about me.” I took him into my arms and sighed. “He’s got some new friend now and I'm just here getting no attention what so ever. I feel like I’m fading in his life.” At this point I knew what this was really about. 

“Liam, you do know that’s not true.” I sighed once more and looked at him. “And you also know that you’ll always be my number one, right?” He bit his lip before looking down and picked his head up. “Hey, this baby isn't replacing you, I know this is what it’s all about and I know that’s the reason you’ve been giving me the cold shoulder but honey I love you and you’re going to be just as important as this baby.” He smiled and so did I. “Now we got to talk about this sudden growth. You’re a giant.” He chuckled. 

“Mom I'm sixteen, I'm still not done growing.” I sighed. 

“I know, I know, I just this entire time you’ve been shorter than me and I loved it, now you’re a giraffe and you don’t even look for me anymore, you’re growing and I don’t like it.” I sniffed. “Fuck these fucking hormones.” I giggled wiping my eyes and Liam frowned. 

“Just cause I'm taller than you doesn’t mean I'm done with you mom, I love you, I'll always be grateful for what you’ve done for me.” He smiled. 

“I know, I know. It’s just this baby gets me so emotional over everything.” I sniffed once more before the tears stopped.

 “Yeah I know, you cried over spilled milk, like literally, you cried when you dropped the milk last night.” I laughed and it was true. 

“Hey in my defense it was the last milk we had and I wanted those damn froot loops.” He chuckled and shook his head. 

“Everyone, can I get everyone’s attention?” I heard Scott’s voice and I looked at him standing on a chair. 

“What the hell is your dad doing?” I looked at Liam who shrugged before helping me up from the couch. 

“As many of you know, I am expecting a baby girl in four months.” He smiled when his eyes met mine. “And it hasn’t been easy, we were chased out of our homes and forced to start all over. We’ve taken in two wonderful boys,” He looked at Derek and Liam who were standing next to each other smiled. “Who I consider as my own. We’ve been through hell and back and I couldn’t imagine going through any of this without the love of my life, (y/n) come over here, please.” I looked at Liam and Derek who were smiling as I walked towards Scott. 

“Scott what’s going on?” I looked around as he stepped down from the chair and took my hand. 

“Now, I know this is a big day for my mom, so I did pass this through her.” He smiled and looked at me. “(Y/N) (Y/L/N),” He started as he kneeled down on one knee. Holy shit. I heard gasps and one of them was mine. “I love you, so much. I couldn’t imagine doing anything without you and I'd be dammed if I ever let you slip away once more. You’ve been there since the beginning of my troubles, you introduced me to Liam who changed both of our lives. You took in another teenager who had several problems and you fixed him. You’re the most wonderful person I have ever met and I want to spend the rest of my life with you.” He reached his hand towards the two boys we called our sons and Derek gave him a small box. He opened it revealing a beautiful ring and I hadn’t realized I was crying until my tears were dripping from my face. “Will you marry me?” Scott looked at me and I nodded almost immediately. He smiled slipping the ring onto my finger before I took his face in my hands and kissed him. The aww, sniffs, and claps were the only things I heard before I heard Derek and Liam groan. 

______

tags; @leslieandjensen @hirafth @neptuneluek @lydiasbxtch @adellyhatter-blog @nxthing-lasts-fxrever@letmebecomeataboo @cloudchaserr @nerdyowlbookfreak @xcastawayherosx @k-baileyy@scotttstilinskii @therealmrshale @thesuperkpopfan @queen–glitch @my-body-is-not-a-temple@mutifandomgirl @moo0803 @hautedbybieber

EHFAR

Everything Happens For A Reason right? It’s what I truly believe, but at times I can’t find the reason but sometimes maybe we’re not supposed to know. The last 12 months have been a struggle, to say the least. I went from planning a wedding, to a broken heart. Still dealing with him and our joint bills, arguments and just still hurt but still loving him ughh. Grieving a relationship is hard enough but when you still have to contact each other it makes it harder. When he looks at you and still gives you butterflies and tells you your beautiful BUT you have to remember he cheated and dropped your credit score 70 points because he is irresponsible. This whole situation makes me so salty over, love, weddings and I dunno just I hate it all right now. I saw an engagement ring tonight, kind of ridiculous saying out loud but this was supposed to be my year. I have a wedding dress and an engagement ring and I had a hall and DJ and now just nothing. With all this “love” around me, yeah I think I can be bitter about it. I will tell you I cannot and will not attend or participate in weddings right now, I truly can’t and I don’t know if I ever will again. If that sounds immature oh well, it’s where I’m at. ANYWAY...Not only dealing with the loss of a relationship, there has also been so much death around me. My very good friend died in September; saying I miss him everyday is an understatement..it hasn’t gotten easier and I still pray to get one more, “good morning beautiful” text/snap from him; two different friends father’s, a friends grandma, a childhood friends mom, my aunt, my cousin, and then more recently a relatives 9 year old child, unexpectedly. It’s heartbreaking to see others grieve and being there for them trying to grieve too, it’s just hard to stay strong anymore. With all this, I guess I should mention, I rushed into another relationship (a few months back) and had to deal with the heartache as well; which, I am to FULLY blame for that, I was a bit cray. I was not ready to date -still not- I was so negative and in such a bad place. Is this the worst thing that’s happened? No. BUT at the same time it’s just another person that was consistently in my life, gone; more grief. Even adding to all of this grief and loss, I lost my core group of friends recently, my “best” friends. The people that were supposed to have my back and be there for me, caused more drama and hurt, and honestly we’re not friends after all. Haven’t even reached out to see if I was okay after 3 deaths, in my life within a month. So with that said it was a blessing in disguise, that I learned how deceitful some people are in my life were. The friendships we had were not healthy, and I couldn’t pretend they were healthy anymore. Was not what I needed in my life anymore, I wasn’t in high school and I was going through so much I didn’t need more on my plate. BUT at the same time I’m still hurt, it’s still more grieving. All and all It’s been A LOT in 12 months. I can’t even fully grieve or move on from everything because more loss or another situation happens before I can. I wake up and patiently wait for the next, “bad” thing to happen. I shouldn’t answer phone calls from certain people and say, “ugh who died now”. Emotionally I’m NOT ok. I’m sad a lot. I cry a lot. I have never felt so lonely. I’m not alone by any means. I have some long time-real ass-friends that DO have my back, I have my family and I have myself. BUT loneliness is kicking in and it’s hard. I feel the depression creeping back and I am losing interest to even be around people because of this “lonely” feeling. I cry a lot, more then normal. And I sit home when I should be out doing the things I love, with the people I love. But I’m losing interest. And with all this depression I just keeping about turning 30 and not being where I want to be in life. I was supposed to get married this year, maybe pregnant, I was supposed to be long gone from my parents house and trust me they let me know it... I dunno. Even work. I’m MISERABLE at work Am I sad or depressed?? I don’t even know at this point honestly. Here’s some of the positive I can see. Over the last 12 months I have completely grown into a different person.. a better person . I finally feel like I’m “growing up” but I’m also struggling with “growing up”. I was involved with a weekly group counseling, mandatory for class at YSU, and it really helped me move forward from all the bad/sad things that were occurring. I felt stronger but not better, if that makes sense. I was letting go of the past but the present was still having it’s ups and downs. It made me realize how strong I am after all of this sadness, loss and just overall down spiral I have been facing. So what’s next? Over the next 10 years; 30-40. Ugh FORTY..I want to try and be more positive and be my own person, fall in love with me again and learn who I am now.. Yes I still have the hope to fall in love and to be married; but in the same sense I feel my ex-fiancé took that and a lot of special moments from me , definitely want to be hurt less or not at all so I need to watch who I surround myself with, remember to take time to trust, NO TOXIC RELATIONSHIPS/FRIENDSHIPS, being more vocal about my feelings and being honest with people (no more sugar coating), remain strong, get a house and maybe actually buy a car (leasing is cool though ‘lol’). Not live with my parents.Lastly and most important to me, I’ll finish my masters and I will have a career that I LOVE and will be happy with. Ultimately with all this said, I need to find happiness all together whatever that is for me. That’s my goal by the time I’m 40, and I hope I’ll get there; right now a little hard to believe. Cheers to the next decade.

The 2018-19 Not Actual NBA Awards Ballot

No, I don’t have a ballot, but I watch an unseemly amount of basketball and love to get these takes off. So here’s my not awards ballot for the 2018-19 NBA season.

All-NBA

1st Team

G. Steph Curry PG GS

G. James Harden SG HOU

F. Kevin Durant SF GS

F. Giannis Antetokounmpo SF MIL

C. Joel Embiid C PHI

The first All-NBA team is fairly self explanatory, at the very least for 3 spots. Steph’s shooting percentages are right up there with his career norms, as if 47.9% from the field and 43.9% from 3 on basically 12 attempts per game is normal. Ho hum. In fact, he’s on pace to drain more 3s per game in a season than he’s ever made, including his unanimous MVP season. James Harden is preposterously somehow the league leader in 3 point attempts and free throw attempts this season, helping him get to his historic and utterly absurd 36 points per game despite seeing multiple different looks from opposing defenses within a game, let alone from game to game. Giannis is rampaging through the entire league on both ends of the floor. These three comprise three of the top four players in ESPN’s RPM stat. These three are locks for first team and are very well deserved.

The second forward and center are a little more up for grabs. I don’t believe Kawhi Leonard has played enough games to qualify for the first team, leaving a battle between Paul George and Kevin Durant. George has been a little better defensively, while Durant has been a little better as a playmaker, averaging a career high 5.8 assists per game and 6 per 36 minutes. George’s efficiency has fallen off after a scorching start to the season due to a recent shoulder flare up. Durant is shooting a characteristic 51.8% from the field, though an uncharacteristic 35.4% from 3. Durant has a higher true shooting percentage and effective field goal percentage with a similar usage rate, per NBA.com. George has had a higher impact defensively, per ESPN. Both teams collapse when these two forwards are off the floor. This, to me, is a matter of personal preference. Durant should not be disregarded for playing with a greater cast; George should not be disregarded for playing with zero shooting. Breaking the tie for me would be OKC’s second half breakdown and tumbling down to 6th in the standings. Golden State is 1st. It is super close, but I’ll side with Durant.

The other battle will come at the center spot between Nikola Jokic and Joel Embiid. Both have led their teams to over 50 wins with similar offensive numbers, with Embiid scoring more points per game while Jokic diming more teammates. Denver has less star talent than the Sixers, but the fit with acquiring those stars midseason has been more tricky than the fit in Denver, despite the revolving door of injuries. Embiid has played 14 less games than Jokic, not a drastic but a certainly sizable difference, especially for a team who thrives on offense and uses Jokic in a myriad of ways. Neither are great 3 point shooters quite yet, as both sit around the low 30s in percentages. I believe Embiid makes a greater imprint on the game, though. Certainly it can be difficult to defend Denver’s constant motion offensively and Jokic’s pinpoint precision delivering passes about 90% of the rest of the NBA can’t make or won’t even try to make, but there are still instances where Denver’s offense stagnates and Jokic doesn’t quite go into his killer mode. Embiid’s effective field goal percentage trails Jokic’s, but has a higher true shooting percentage and usage rate in the clutch in part he gets to the free throw line at the second highest rate (only behind Harden), plowing everybody not named Al Horford in his path. Also, Embiid is much more necessary for Philly’s success, as the team is 11.3 points per 100 possessions better when he is on the floor than when he is off (Denver is only 4.7 which Jokic, also in part due to them being a deeper team). Embiid’s defensive presence is much more pronounced than Jokic’s as well, as the Sixers go from the best defense in the NBA when he is on the floor to only the 10th best defense when he’s off. Again, a toss up, but I think Embiid has been a teensy bit better, getting him my first team nod.

2nd Team

G. Damian Lillard PG POR

G. Kyrie Irving PG BOS

F. Paul George SF OKC

F. Kawhi Leonard SF TOR

C. Nikola Jokic C DEN

The second team is rather self explanatory. If you wanted to nitpick and punish Kyrie’s leadership or Kawhi’s missed games to pin them onto the third team, I suppose you can go in that direction. All five of these guys have clearly separated themselves amongst their peers and not only have the numbers, but the winning to back it up.

3rd Team

G. Russell Westbrook PG OKC

G. Kemba Walker PG CHA

F. Blake Griffin PF DET

F. LeBron James SF/PF LAL

C. Rudy Gobert C UTAH

The last two guard spots are particularly tricky. Any two of Westbrook, Walker, Bradley Beal, Klay Thompson, Mike Conley, Eric Bledsoe, Ben Simmons, D’Angelo Russell and Donovan Mitchell, the latter three in the periphery but playing well enough to at least warrant a look. If you value defense and winning, Klay Thompson and Eric Bledsoe have been good enough to warrant a spot. Both have offensive numbers too; Klay is *still* shooting above 40% from 3 and 50% from 2. He’s been durable again and has adequately improved his playmaking with the ball in his hands. Bledsoe is shooting with an efficiency he has yet to perform at in his entire career. Working both for and against them? They play on the two best teams in the NBA, thus not having to shoulder the burden of others here. Bledsoe only finishes 22.3% of Milwaukee’s possessions, while Klay finishes just 25.1%. Both have had very good seasons complementing other all stars, but think others have just better resumes.

Westbrook is not the picture of efficiency by any means. It isn’t just his paltry 3 point shooting (28.6%), he isn’t shooting particularly well from anywhere. He gambles and gets killed on screens defensively far too much for my liking. I’ve become numb to his triple double numbers, though I probably shouldn’t because how hard it is to do. I think these are fair criticisms of his game. But I also do believe his passing has become a little underrated and his team needs him to carry such a heavy workload (30.2% usage rate) because of the severe lack of shooting (OKC ranks 23rd in 3 point shooting percentage) and creators Oklahoma City possesses. OKC’s offense falls off a cliff without him. I was leaning toward leaving him off until he dropped a 20-20-20 masterpiece to honor the fallen Nipsey Hussle. I’d understand if others left him off, but I believe he’s done enough to get a spot. So now there’s one spot left. Mike Conley has averaged career highs in points and assists per 36 minutes on a Memphis team that gave up winning months ago and is a disaster when Conley isn’t on the floor. Bradley Beal is putting up career numbers himself, though has come without the requisite winning or defense, as his team has not defended all that well when he is on the floor nor are his individual defensive numbers up to par, ranking 94th among 115 shooting guards in ESPN’s Defensive Real Plus-Minus stat. That’s not to insinuate Beal is an empty stat guy, because he has clearly proven he can impact winning on a playoff team, nor is it his or Conley’s fault his teams are not equipped to make a deep playoff team… but neither is it Kemba Walker’s. Even through a rotating door of Frank Kaminskys and Dwayne Bacons, Walker has somehow carried his team to the doorstep of the playoffs. He isn’t exactly qualified to be the primary option on a playoff team and fits more nicely as a secondary option, but he still is lifting his team with solid, not great, efficiency and the 7th highest usage rate among. Their offense crumbles without him. I personally think it is harder to do what he has done with that cast to even think about making the playoffs, let alone actually make it. He just ever so slightly gets the nod for me, though I’m not sure the Hornets organization should exactly want Kemba to become eligble for that super-max.

As for the other spots, again, they are fairly easy. LeBron is still LeBron. The missed games and disruption of the Lakers’ locker room ding him down to the third team. Blake Griffin has basically been LeBron-lite for a Piston team devoid of a lot of offensive talent. Gobert vs Towns is the ultimate stats vs winning debate. Gobert will never be able to come close to Towns’ god given talent to score and has been better finding teammates this season, but commands the 2nd best defense in the NBA and has helped lift the Jazz up to 5th in the west, while Minnesota sits outside the playoffs. I’m going with Gobert.

MVP

1. Giannis Antetkounmpo SF MIL

2. James Harden SG HOU

3. Stephen Curry PG GS

4. Damian Lillard PG POR

5. Paul George SF OKC

I honestly don’t know how much stats can really dictate this one. It’s that close. Harden leads in ESPN’s Real Plus-Minus stat, Giannis has efficiency on his side with a high usage in his own right. Harden carried a team from the dead (so dead that it got to the point where Danuel House Jr. using his 45 NBA days in his 2-way contract could’ve been considered a big blow) to the tone of a historic streak of 30+ point scoring games, evolving the revolution Steph set forth with Harden’s killer step back 3. Giannis and Milwaukee have sprinted from start to finish to get Milwaukee up to 60 wins. Milwaukee has been healthy until lately, whereas Houston has had longer stretches where one of Chris Paul or Clint Capela (or both) were gone. Milwaukee is deeper and the East is still the lesser conference from top to bottom. This could really go either way, but I’m going to go with Giannis. As good a post defender Harden is, guess who is better… yup, Giannis. And that’s about the lone argument you can make for Harden being a competent-to-good defender. As unstoppable an offensive player Harden is, and he probably is the most uncoverable player in the NBA, Giannis brings a similar dominance. Offense tends to mean more than defense, but the defensive edge has to tilt into Giannis’ favor given that they both bring dominance on the offensive end. Also, Milwaukee has the best record, best net rating best defense and the 3rd best offense in the entire NBA. To put that in context, the same distance Milwaukee has with Houston in net rating, who has the 5th best net rating in the NBA, would be the same difference between Houston and the 14th best team in the league. If you want to go with Harden he’s just as deserving. I think Giannis has been a little better and valuable to how his team plays, thus giving him the nod.

The rest of the ballot intrigues as well. Paul George scorched the earth and looked like he was a legit MVP winner for a good week or two. His slump/injury and OKC’s downslide lowered him down, for me. I think Steph deserves being number 3 on here. We already know how his shooting has revolutionized the NBA and the him draining shots from the parking lot is what catapults the Warriors into the world beaters they can be. While Steve Kerr elects to play both Curry and Durant together, Steph lifts them into another stratosphere of offensive explosion, with the Warriors scoring an godly 119.4 points per 100 possessions. His numbers are on par with his MVP seasons. He helped calm the mess Draymond and KD created in Los Angeles regarding KD’s free agency. His leadership and destruction offensively, along with playing for the best team in the NBA and best team record wise in the West, gets him the nod. Embiid, Durant and Jokic deserve consideration here as well, but I went with Dame DOLLA. I put Damian Lillard on my ballot last year and am rolling with him here again. Remember that stat about Steph? Well, there’s a similar impact in Portland with Lillard as well. He stabilized a franchise that could’ve undergone massive changes after getting waxed by the Pelicans last year in the postseason. Yet, here Portland is, back in 4th in the West despite injuries to Jusuf Nurkic and CJ McCollum at points this season. I don’t think these intangibles should be swept under the rug regarding the player who you think is the most valuable player in the NBA, because that can be just as, if not more, valuable than what we see on the floor. Not only has Lillard done that, but his percentages have improved this season… again. I think he’s done more with less than others mentioned to get on board on the MVP ballot.

ROY

1. Luka Doncic SF DAL

2. Trae Young PG ATL

3. Jaren Jackson Jr. PF/C MEM

Trae Young has put up an impressive run since February. However, I’m just not sure he has much of a real case. That’s how far a lead Luka got out to. Luka leads Trae in points, rebounds, steals, blocks, field goal percentage, 3 point percentage and effective field goal percentage, despite pacing Young in attempts too. Trae Young was literally the worst point guard in ESPN’s Defensive RPM metric. Luka isn’t exactly Kawhi Leonard either, but he can rebound well & can guard multiple positions. Advanced stats such as VORP, Win Shares, Box Plus-Minus favor Luka as well. That’s not to diminish Trae Young; he’s really good too! That he is this good this quickly on top of the Hawks getting another 1st round pick in their infamous draft day trade are a massive win for the Hawks. But I don’t think it is a hot take to say Luka was better and is more deserving of this award.

The last spot is more up for grabs. Should you go with a guard, Shai Gilgeous-Alexander has done an admirable job starting for a playoff team, especially as a point guard. That’s very hard to do, as evidenced by Trae Young and Collin Sexton’s first half struggles before they picked it up as the year progressed. But I think Jaren Jackson Jr. was better than either guard or big man, including DeAndre Ayton and Marvin Bagley III. He brings an instant versatility defensively neither of those two have brought yet, ranking 11th among power forwards in ESPN’s Defensive RPM. He showcased an ability to guard multiple positions and stretch the floor, the exact type of versatility every team is clamoring for. He desrves the last nod.

MIP

1. Pascal Siakam PF TOR

2. D’Angelo Russell PG BKN

3. De’Aaron Fox PG SAC

4. Nikola Vucevic C ORL

5. Derrick White PG SAS

I voted for Pascal Siakam to be on the All-Star team ahead of D’Angelo Russell. It’s curious to see him get more love for this than an All-Star selection, but, nonetheless, here we are. Either can win this award, but it feels like Siakam has added more to his repertoire than D’Angelo or anyone else in consideration. In most cases, Most Improved Player typically turns out to be some form of breakout player of the year. In Siakam’s instance, he actually feels like someone who has improved his skillset. Last year, Siakam averaged 0.85 points per isolation possessions, per NBA.com. This year? 0.97. He improved in post-ups as well. I’m sure similar numbers can be found for D’Angelo as well, but that doesn’t begin to count the fact that Siakam has improved while now playing against more starting-caliber competition and shouldering a heavier load while Kyle Lowry and Kawhi Leonard have either rested or missed games due to injury, acting as a de facto second option. Siakam is much more of a factor defensively and in transition. I really like both of these two players and have enjoyed their phenomenal seasons. I’m going with Siakam.

De’Aaron Fox and Nikola Vucevic both made big improvements as well. Fox’s feel has allowed the Kings to build an offense geared around his incredible speed. He transformed a franchise that has normant for literally over a decade. Nikola Vucevic has done the same in literally the exact opposite way for Orlando, becoming a lite version of Nikola Jokic as the primary option offensively on the block. Derrick White didn’t play much last season, not allowing us to get a basis for which to evaluate how much he did or did not ‘improve,’ but he has been a major factor why San Antonio is in the playoffs *again,* despite trading Kawhi Leonard and losing Dejounte Murray to a torn ACL. I don’t think either will crack the top two, but all deserve some consideration as well.

6MOY

1. Lou Williams SG LAC

2. Montrezl Harrell PF/C LAC

3. Terrence Ross SG ORL

4. Domantas Sabonis PF/C IND

5. Andre Iguodala SF GS / Dwyane Wade SG MIA

Lou Williams doesn’t start, but he is the Clippers’ closer. He averages 20 a game on a team that was supposedly tanking after dealing Tobias Harris. I think Lou is clearly a lock to win this award. Lou Williams helps Montrezl Harrell and vice versa. Those two have been two of the Clippers three best players all season outside of Danilo Gallinari and have helped carry an afterthought to the playoffs. Terrence Ross and Domantas Sabonis have provided scoring punches to teams that really need it. No perimeter player scores more points per 36 minutes for the Magic than Terrence Ross. I think with perimeter scoring being harder to come by and that Ross often closes games more often than Sabonis does since he and Myles Turner haven’t proven to a formidable duo that can close games quite yet get Ross a little bit of an edge despite Sabonis’ superior passing and rebounding.

Lastly, I just want to give Andre Iguodala and Dwyane Wade some love. Miami didn’t quite make the playoffs, but he still showed to be an impact player despite being on his #OneLastDance. The same stat regarding Terrence Ross can be used for Dwyane Wade. One more year, Dwyane? And for Andre Iguodala, he’s just so smart. The 6th man award typically favors those who contribute and add to the game. Iguodala’s genius comes in the form of taking away, which you could argue is just as valuable. This is one of my favorite stats in the NBA: the Golden State Warriors rank 11th in the league defensively.

DPOY

1. Giannis Antetokounmpo SF MIL

2. Rudy Gobert C UTAH

3. Paul George SF OKC

Paul George and Rudy Gobert provide two different types of defensive stoppers. Paul George is in the Kawhi Leonard mold of basketball’s version of Revis Island: whoever the primary weapon is for the opposition, they get taken away on whatever side of the floor they are on. Utah crafts their scheme to funnel everything into Rudy Gobert, with him essentially guarding everybody at the floor at once. I think that is more valuable than Paul George’s greatness, personally. But the beauty of Giannis is he can do either. He can guard the pick and roll ball handler or the one setting the screen really well. He can protect the rim or switch onto guards really well. He (and Milwaukee’s shooting across the board) allows Milwaukee the versatility to play any style, big or small, really well. They have the league’s best defense by a hair over Utah. For those reasons, Giannis squeaks by Rudy to gain himself another award.

COY

1. Mike Budenholzer MIL

2. Doc Rivers LAC

3. Kenny Atkinson

4. Nate McMillan IND

5. Michael Malone DEN

Milwaukee was a gold mine that maybe any coach could have struck gold with. I’m not sure anybody could have maximized that team this well this quickly quite like Budenholzer has, establishing a new identity on both ends of the floor to feature the strengths of his freakish star. The Clippers have overachieved like no other despite making multiple trades in season. They are starting two rookie guards and a third year center that’s been on a bottom feeder his entire career until now. The job Doc Rivers has done is incredible. He can easily win as well.

I think the job Kenny Atkinson has done has been remarkable. Sure, there is a lot of young talent the Nets have savvily acquired, but they came in the form of castoffs or shrewd decision making. He and his staff has elevated and developed all of their games, from D’Angelo Russell to Caris LeVert to Joe Harris, so on and so forth. Brooklyn made the playoffs withstanding a damn near impossible situation. I think he deserves being third. Nate McMillan has kept the ship floating despite Victor Oladipo going down, overachieving yet again in Indianapolis similarly to what Doc has done in LA. Michael Malone has dealt with dozens of injuries in Denver, yet still has himself the second seed. Imagine what he can do with a healthy Michael Porter Jr. next season.

1st Team All Defense

G. Eric Bledsoe PG MIL

G. Danny Green SG TOR

F. Paul George SF OKC

F.  Giannis Antetokounmpo SF MIL

C. Rudy Gobert C UTAH

2nd Team All Defense

G. Marcus Smart PG/SG BOS

G. Jrue Holiday PG/SG NOLA

F. Pascal Siakam PF TOR

F. Draymond Green PF GS

C. Joel Embiid C PHI

Personally, All Defense, to me, is just a matter of personal preference. There are so many outstanding candidates. If you want to argue others should get on one of these teams, I’m not mad at ya. But most of these guys contribute for elite defenses that win games, earning them nods for me.

1st Team All Rookie

Luka Doncic SF DAL

Trae Young PG ATL

Jaren Jackson Jr. PF/C MEM

Shai Gilgeous-Alexander PG LAC

DeAndre Ayton C PHX

We already discussed Luka, Trae and Jaren above. DeAndre Ayton gradually improved defensively as the season progressed and is already putting up top notch offensive numbers. It isn’t his fault he got drafted to a dumpster of a team. He gets a first team nod. Shai Gilgeous-Alexander starts and contributes for a playoff team as a rookie point guard. That is really hard to do for a rookie point guard. He’s tough, has good feel and gets after it defensively guarding multiple positions. He doesn’t have the gaudiest of offensive numbers, but he already contributes to winning. That gets him on my first team.

2nd Team All Rookie

Collin Sexton PG CLE

Landry Shamet PG/SG LAC

Kevin Huerter SG ATL

Marvin Bagley III PF/C SAC

Mitchell Robinson C NYK

Sexton has had a similar season arc to Young, minus the playmaking for others. Landry Shamet has helped two playoff teams win in a complementary role and is already one of the better 3 point gunners in the league. Kevin Huerter has fit snugly alongside fellow rookie Trae Young and sophomore John Collins with his nice blend of shooting and playmaking. Mavin Bagley III isn’t Luka Doncic, but is still a damn good rookie in his own right. Mitchell Robinson could end up being one of the bigger steals in this draft with his shot blocking prowess.

The MAMAS Project - Steph

A mother’s intuition. Truthfully, it’s something I hadn’t thought about in a while, and definitely something I didn’t access wholly until I had my second child. My first’s entry into life was paralleled with a deep identity crisis and newness, and I think I masked any intuition I had (mostly) with a false confidence, rather than a true confidence in my ability.

When I went to meet up with our May participant, one of the first things she said to me was that she had made two firm promises to herself pre-baby: trust her gut, and not to have mom guilt. And I can’t help but think, that the two really go hand in hand. Because, if you can trust your gut wholly, or at least mostly, perhaps then you can trust the moments you take for yourself, are needed and not guilty pleasures.

Moments of wisdom, and aha’s are not rare when you’re in conversation with Stephanie Jhala. In fact, I found myself repeatedly saying, I totally agree, or oh my god yes, when I met with the new mom in Richmond BC. She is not just reflective, but also tirelessly positive, a refreshing perspective when so much of mom’ing can be complaints…husband, sleep, personal space. The mom troubles can go on if you let them. And Steph doesn’t deny that those exist, she just simply tries to let them go and choose a different perspective. In fact, she has experienced some of the greatest woes that a mother can have, even in the short time she has been one.

Steph comes from this beautifully diverse family. Her mother is Indonesian, her father is East Indian and they met in North America. As a child, Steph travelled the world with her adventurous mother and sisters, while her father stayed back in Canada, holding down the fort. Not your typical dynamic, but one that has created a family of strong and worldly women.

“I always thought as a kid, my mom is so brave, I guess I’ll be brave too when I grow up. She was never shy or afraid to explore new places she knew nothing about; her friendly demeanor always opened doors no matter where we were. We would travel to mostly developing countries, and not necessarily the safest ones, so we could experience what it was like to be in other parts of the world. I’m a good mix of my dad and my mom: I’m responsible like my dad, with a big appetite for adventure like my mom. And over the past recent years I’ve trained myself to have an expanded tolerance for risk. I wasn’t always like that, I used to be a perfectionist that always played it safe. But the pressure of perfection caused too much stress; it was detrimental for my health. So I worked hard on cultivating the qualities I felt would serve me best. In my late 20’s I did a lot of personal growth stuff; much of which paralleled the philosophies my Hindu-Buddhist parents and grandparents instilled in me, but had not been ready to listen to until now. I truly questioned how I wanted to be in the world.”

A year and a half before becoming a mother, Steph took a good look at redefining success. Success no longer looked like logging long days in the office or climbing up the corporate ladder. In anticipation of starting a family, success looked like taking care of her body so that it was in the best shape to grow a baby, living a truly balanced life of adventure, downtime and aligning work with passion.  So she made the shift from the corporate world to building a flexible life as a consultant, helping businesses with a social or environmental mission.

“There is this view in North America that working longer and harder, means you’re more accomplished, but in many parts of the world like the Nordics, they recognize that burnout is detrimental and balance brings greater productivity and happiness.  With wanting career and family, I decided to get creative to design a life I really wanted to live.”

Steph was well into this journey of self-discovery when she and her husband decided to start trying. They got pregnant right away. Steph began researching and meditating on the type of mother she wanted to be.

“Before I had Aria, I made a rule to not have mom guilt. I was reading a lot of forums and I was like, WOW mom guilt is real! I thought, it doesn’t serve me and it doesn’t serve my baby. Despite not knowing all the answers, I’m always going to try my best and figure it out. If I don’t treat myself well, then how can I expect my daughter to learn self-worth? It’s been a really interesting experience discovering my own intuition.  I think I was an intuitive child, as many of us are, but then I lost that inner trust as I grew up.  I became very intellectual as a teenager, very fact-based, I wanted scientific evidence for everything. Motherhood is a real opportunity: I could read all the books in the world (and they are very useful), but when it comes down to it, I’m just going to trust my gut. Moms have done this for millions of years, and babies have survived, and animals don’t have classes, they just innately know what to do.”

Her intuition kicked in during her pregnancy, when everyone around her guessed she was having a boy, yet she felt deep within her that she was having a girl. And her father agreed.

“My father had a dream that she was a girl, and not just any girl, but an indigo child. I didn’t know what that meant, and put aside my airy-fairy preconceptions. An indigo or blue-ray child comes to this earth with a mission, a humanitarian mission, and she chose me as her mother, to train her to fulfill on this. I didn’t know if I believed in all these things, but if it’s true, then great, because I’ve already dedicated my life to making a difference - and have plans to raise my mini-me’s to do the same.”

Steph and her husband had a healthy pregnancy and planned for a home birth, that went smoothly until the end.

“When she came out she was limp and not breathing. We were encouraging her, come on baby girl you got this, take your first breath, you can do this, mommy and daddy are here for you. An extremely rare occurrence: her umbilical cord got pinched between her shoulder and the birth canal in the last couple of pushes. I was told blue-ray beings have a hard time entering this world, and many don’t make it past birth. Our amazing doula opens our apartment door for the paramedics, I am butt naked on the floor delivering the placenta, as my incredible midwives perform CPR on our little angel. We get rushed to the hospital in separate ambulances. No time or space for panic. This is the moment where all my training, since I was a child, of meditation and mind over matter needed to kick in. And it did. I deliberately chose not to assume the worst, and went with what’s happening, moment to moment. In this moment, my baby IS ALIVE, and my gut tells me everything is going to be ok. We had a healthy pregnancy and I have a healthy baby. She just needs a little help waking up. I chose to stay in that mindset, instead of, oh my god my baby might die…which also was a possibility.”

She really could have died, but Steph thought, 

“How do I want this story to end? If I truly could manifest my future, a concept I dismissed as hippy-dippy growing up, this was the most important moment for it to work.”

The stay in the hospital NICU was really hard: a blur of doctors, nurses, pumping milk around the clock, not being able to hold her baby, recovering from a physically demanding labour and very little rest. She was told her baby was the sickest baby in the unit, challenging her decisions leading up to the birth.

“We experienced so many different views at the hospital. Depending on who was on the shift, we felt totally supported or totally judged. Some blamed me for having a home birth, or being 18 days overdue and not inducing the baby to come out earlier. Should I have felt ashamed of my choices?”

But Steph was armed with the research she had done pre-birth, stuck with her gut and stood confidently by her decisions and birth team. Later confirmed, this freak accident would have happened regardless of delivering at home or in hospital, on her due date or past.

“The average first time baby is born at 40 weeks and 10 days. So when baby was just over a week past what’s actually normal, we were still within a safe timeframe. I trust my body and my baby, and I wanted to let nature take its course. Medical interventions can do miraculous things, like saving lives. But at the same time, our bodies can do miraculous things too so why not trust it rather than assume that it’s too dangerous, too painful or too risky.”

Steph is 35, and I wonder while I am interviewing her, if her confidence is reflective of her age. I think this may play a role in her strength of character, but I think too that she is special like that. I remind myself not to feel envious that I didn’t have that same certainty when I was a new mom, and I am comforted to hear that even she struggles with the changes post baby. And also deals with mom guilt.

“You just can’t know what it’s like until you have one. All of a sudden this baby enters your world. I felt this extreme joy and love, but also a real devastation, like I’ve lost my own life. I had no idea how all consuming a baby would be. From being someone that was so active to being at home, was really hard, isolating and to be honest, boring. I feel bad for watching Netflix. I feel bad for not reading to my baby everyday. I feel bad for feeling bad. Ha ha, the mom guilt can be endless. It’s a daily thing. But I get to choose to put the guilt aside and (with a lot of reminders from my husband) know that I’m doing a great job.”

I was so excited to interview Steph, because beyond all the things we discuss, the Steph I knew just a bit of outside of motherhood, is a dynamic and strong female voice, and founder of a girl gang. And I was anxious to see how that would translate to raising a baby girl. I couldn’t have been more relieved and pleased when I immediately identified in our conversation a running theme of: you got this. 

We really do. Deep down inside, if we just allow ourselves to listen, we know what to do for our families and we can choose our mindset and approach.

“Like all other human beings, I have moments of feeling crappy. People sometimes say that my posts on social media are inspiring. I don’t want to create a false impression, like I never struggle, but I also don’t want to perpetuate complaints or reasons why life sucks. My sad story won’t get me anywhere. Through the clouds, my daughter will grow up knowing she can chose empowerment, stand by her gut and brave anything, and I mean ANYTHING, that comes her way.”

Written + Photographed by Jena 

Edited + Formatted by Sarah

Confession 21: A boy, the Open, and that weird spinny feeling.

So that’s it. The 2017 CrossFit Open is over. I feel like I speak for most of us when I say, whew. A big sigh of relief is necessary for many this year, it seems. I don’t know if it was that all of the workouts (aside from 17.3 if you sucked like me) were long or if it was just that they were insanely hard (as they’re supposed to be), but I am beat up today. I’m proud of myself, as all of us should be, but I am beat up. I had a number of goals this year. The first was to do every workout as prescribed. Last year I only did two of the workouts Rx because there were so many movements I hadn’t figured out yet and weights I knew I couldn’t lift. It’s a year later and I’ve figured out most of the movements well enough to do at WOD speed. I’m stronger, so most of the weights are manageable. This goal I achieved and I’m really, really proud of myself for that. That in itself shows I’ve made a ton of progress. These are super hard workouts designed to test the fittest people on the planet. Now, I was nowhere even remotely close to performing the workouts at the level of a Games athlete. I don’t care. It has never been and never will be my goal to be a Games competitor. But the fact that I can complete these workouts that the fittest people on Earth are doing makes me feel pretty damn good. Whether you qualified for Regionals, did every workout Rx for the first time, or did every workout scaled, completing these workouts in any capacity is an achievement in itself. It’s impressive. And if you’re reading this and just finished your first Open or your tenth, be proud of yourself. You are impressive and strong and fit and a goddamn force to be reckoned with. You’re amazing. Give yourself all the credit in the world. These are tests and we passed and we came out on the other side better than we were. Go you. Go me. 17.1 was a burner. The introduction of the dumbbell to the CrossFit Open. I’m really glad they dropped the hints leading up to the Open (even if it was to sell out Rogue’s inventory) and our coaches had the wherewithal to program the dumbbell snatch in a WOD before it showed up in this workout. I did this workout twice because I was so close to finishing the 225 reps under the time cap that I just had to. I was 19 reps short my first try and 7 reps short my second try. Close, but not quite there. I was super bummed that I couldn’t get it done, but it was a new movement with a new piece of equipment and I wasn’t sure what to expect in the first place. Oddly enough the dumbbell snatches weren’t the problem. It was those goddamn burpee box jumps that blew my soul to pieces and left them scattered across the gym floor. F those things. Zortmans are not jumpers. When colossal d-bag Dave Castro announced 17.2 I was both excited and terrified. Dumbbells showed up again in the 100 lbs in the front rack walking lunge. Gross. Who thinks this is a good idea? I guess the guy who spent 7 days with corn rows at the Games last year, that’s who. But, the saving grace, the thing I was excited for, was bar muscle-ups. I just somewhat recently got my first muscle-up and was really happy to see them show up in an Open workout. Getting to them was another story. Those stupid lunges wrecked me and took far longer for me than they did for just about anyone else, it seemed. I struggled hard to get through the three sets of those before I could tackle the muscle-ups. I did, though, and I ended up getting 6 muscle-ups in that workout. My goal was 5, so I beat that. Yay! Gluten/sugar/frosting/taste free cupcakes all around. Through two workouts I was still feeling strong, excited, and confident about what I’d done so far in the Open. I was in the top third in the world and state for men. Much improved on my top 60% (or bottom 40% if you’re a dick) from last year. I felt really good about that. Another goal of mine was to be in the top 50% in the world, so to see myself in the top 33% felt really satisfying and kept my spirits up after two really hard workouts. Then, 17.3 happened. Strangely, this is the workout I did best on in terms of where I stood compared to the rest of the world, but it is the one that broke me. Chest to bar pull-ups, fine. Squat snatches? Not so fine. Probably the most technical Olympic lift and the one that haunts my dreams and leaves me waking up in a pool of sweat. My shoulders and groin hurt just thinking about them (and after 17.3, my pride). I knew going into this workout that if I got to the round with 185 lb snatches I was screwed. The heaviest I’ve ever done is 165 and that was as ugly as any snatch has ever been (I’ll leave that alone). I felt OK about the rounds of 95 lbs and 135 lbs, though. How disgustingly optimistic of me. I got through the rounds of 95 lbs fine enough, then struggled and failed on my first two or three attempts at 135, a weight I know I can do without many issues. I finally settled in and got through one round at 135 before my time ran out. This was the shortest workout for me since I didn’t get through the three rounds at 135 in under 8 minutes, but that’s all the time it took to crack my confidence. I fell apart after that workout. I came back the next day to try again and couldn’t get 135 as high as my waist. I struggled and failed for four minutes and stomped out of the gym ready to never come back. I wrote a long post about how I wasn’t sure I want to do this CrossFit stuff anymore. That I’ve lost my motivation and my love for it (see two posts ago). A lot of people stepped in and set me straight and I saw the light. I do still love CrossFit, but I needed rest, which isn’t something I had been able to admit to myself before. I’d also been having some issues with dizzy spells for a couple weeks, but they were very brief and weren’t causing me any issues, so I sort of just ignored it and went about my business. Leading up to 17.4 they had started to get a little worse. They were lasting minutes instead of seconds and were becoming much more frequent. So, at the urging of my girlfriend and many at the gym, I took a couple days off before I came in for 17.4, which I was excited about because it was a repeat from a workout in the 2016 Open that I knew I could improve on. My head wasn’t feeling great when I got to the gym that day, but I went ahead with the workout anyway. And I did better than last year. A lot better. But not as well as I know I could have. 55 deadlifts at 225 lbs, 55 wall balls, 55 calories on the rower, and 55 handstand pushups in 13 minutes. Last year I got through 27 calories on the rower before I hit the time cut off. This year I got through the entire row with a minute to spare. Awesome! 28 reps better in a full minute less. I’d have 60 seconds to work on handstand pushups, which I’ve never done in a workout before. Not so much. The second I stepped off the rower I almost passed out. I could hardly stand. Everything was spinning and my vision was going in and out. Instead of trying for a couple handstand pushups, I spent that minute (and about 15 after) trying to stay upright and conscious. Not good. I’d never felt that way after a workout. Not when I weighed 315 lbs. Not any time between then and now. It scared the crap out of me, so I took the weekend to rest. I had been feeling better and hadn’t had any issues all weekend, so I went in for the normal workout on Monday, which was fine. I didn’t have any issues before, during, or after the workout. Then, at work the next day the dizziness hit and never went away. I spent the whole day (and the next three) sitting at my desk in a fog trying to focus on my work and not falling to the ground. Something was pretty obviously wrong. I was, admittedly, terrified. So much so that I sped home in the middle of the day one day, woke up my girlfriend who was in the middle of working 6 out of 7 overnights (learned a lesson there), and told her I was pretty sure I was dying. I took the rest of the week off training because I wasn’t sure I could get through a workout or if it was even healthy for me to be out there. I went to everyone’s favorite chiropractor and felt much better. I didn’t have any issues with dizziness for almost three days, so I decided it should be OK for me to go in and do 17.5. As luck would have it, the dizziness came back about an hour before the workout, but wasn’t nearly as bad as it had been. I had made it this far and was committed to finishing the Open and doing this workout as prescribed. 90 thrusters and 350 double unders…yeah, all that up and down should be fine for someone dealing with dizziness issues…totally fine. OK, not so much. Somewhere in round three the dizziness kicked in HARD. My vision was going in and out and focusing on what I was doing was becoming seemingly impossible. I gutted it out and finished the workout, which I’m proud of. It took me probably 6-7 minutes longer than it should have since I spent so much time trying to rein my eyesight in, but I finished it and there it was, my goal of doing every workout as prescribed this year. Today as I write this I’m not sure where I stand in the world, state, or inter-gym rankings. I don’t care, honestly. I imagine I fell after 17.5, but it doesn’t matter because I hit every goal I had for this year’s Open. My body hurts and my head is still cloudy (which I’m being treated for), but I feel really good about what I was able to achieve. My body is truly capable of things I never thought possible, even when I’m not feeling anywhere near 100%. The improvement in what I can do over what I did last year is evident, obvious, and pretty freaking amazing. I did not qualify for Regionals. I did not finish in the top 10 in my gym (we have amazing athletes at Viral – you guys are animals). I probably fell out of the top 33% in the world. Whatever. I really do not care. This Open was hard. Much harder than I remember last year being. That may be credited to the fact that I did all the workouts Rx or cool guy Dave Castro upping the ante. I don’t know the exact reason, but it was freaking hard for everybody (except maybe Matt Fraser, but he’s a psycho – I mean that with the utmost respect). It was hard for me. I went through some stuff during this Open. A major blow to my confidence and self-esteem. Questioning if this is all right for me. Questioning myself as an athlete. Fighting through what, to me, has been a really scary health issue. It was hard. But as hard as it was, it was worth it. I proved some things to myself. I can overcome setbacks. I can push through pain and fatigue. I can take some rest when I need to. Hopefully others can relate or celebrate other successes. Maybe you PR’d your squat snatch. Maybe you got your first muscle-up. Maybe you were top in your gym of all scaled athletes. Maybe you showed up and did your best for all five workouts. Whatever it was, you did it. You should be proud. I know I am. I’m also very ready to get back to regular programming and training to do even better next year. Here’s to another Open season and to a clear head going forward.

Capital Gains Tax 101 For High Income Earners

Pros and Cons Of Capital Gains Tax

One of the most overlooked areas high-income professionals seem to miss when developing a financial plan involves TAXES.

Why? Because taxes are NO fun (unless you’re a CPA) and who wants to focus on an expense, right?

As a high income earner, your largest expense during your career is going to be income tax (active income).

This is the income that you trade your time for each day. Sounds like fun, right?

As a young doc fresh out of training and full of energy, we think, “Taxes? Who cares about taxes? I’m going to be a RICH doctor! I’ll make plenty of money to buy whatever I want and pay my taxes with no problemo!”

But what happens when we get a bit older and somewhat wiser? We start to think, “Taxes? Yeah, it’s something that maybe I should start to look at. I don’t really know much about them as my CPA has always done ’em for me. Maybe it’s time to take it upon myself to figure out that tax code thing.”

Want To Build Wealth?

If you want to build wealth, real wealth then listen up.

I don’t care at what point of your career you’re at now; but you have a choice to make.

Option #1 or #2?

Choose below:

Continue to work HARD for your money (trading time for it)

Have your money work HARD for you

Which is it?

Don’t worry. You’re not going to be graded as there is no right or wrong answer.

It all comes down to personal preference. If you want to work for another 30+ years and don’t mind residing in the 40+% tax bracket then, by all means, choose Option #1.

If you want to work SMARTER and not necessarily harder, then #2 is your choice.

It all boils down to how you handle your money and not just taxes.

Let’s dive in…

Assets vs Liabilities

I realize that we need to discuss the pros and cons of capital gains tax but stay with me while I make a few points first.

I think it was Robert Kiyosaki that said, “If you want to be rich, start spending your money on assets — things that make you money over time.”

Maybe it was Grant Cardone?

Doesn’t matter. The point is that what you spend your money on makes a BIG difference on your taxes.

How?

If you purchase an asset such as real estate, you can LOWER your taxes via depreciation.

You can’t do that when you purchase a new AMG. Sorry!

Let’s take a look at some things you should focus on investing in while others you should avoid.

The Best Assets For High-Income Earners

I’m BIG on trying to better myself both personally and professionally. One of my favorite past times is reading and listening to podcasts.

Here’s a list of some of my favorite assets that have paid off in the long run:

Books on personal finance, investing, real estate etc.

Conferences in my field of work (dental surgery)

Online courses

Real estate syndications

Index funds

Healthy food

The Worst Liabilities to Avoid

Just because you make a lot of money, it doesn’t give you a free pass to buy whatever you WANT when you’re serious about building wealth.

Consider avoiding:

The Doctor house

Every new tech gadget that hits the market

Expensive cars, boats, ATVs

High dollar clothes, watches, accessories, etc (items that make you LOOK rich even though you’re not)

When You “Can” Buy Liabilities

If you chose Option #2 above then remember, I want you to work smarter and not harder. Life’s too short.

Do I want you to have everything on the Liability list above? Yes, if you do too. But I want you to purchase them how the rich do and NOT the poor.

The key is to buy these liabilities with money you’ve made from your money (passive income), not your actual money (active income) yourself.

Does that make sense?

Here’s a video that explains it from Grant Cardone geared toward the high-income folks (rappers, ball players, doctors, etc)

He teaches that, “Instead of spending your money (active income) on Rollies, Pateks, Lambos, Richards and other BS, use your investment income to purchase instead.”

Make Your Money Work For You

Proverbs 21:20 – “The wise store up choice food and olive oil, but fools gulp theirs down.”

Unfortunately, most of the physicians and dentists I know only know how to make money treating patients.

They haven’t ever taken the time to learn how to make money work for them.

The #3 wealth lesson out of 7 in George Clason’s book, The Richest Man in Babylon, is to “make thy gold multiply.”

The point he’s trying to make is that we should treat each dollar as our own “worker” as it has the ability to produce other workers. We want them to multiply thus having THEM work hard and NOT us.

This reminds me of a quote from Shark Tank’s Kevin O’Leary, “Money is my military, each dollar a soldier. I never send my money into battle unprepared and undefended. I send it to conquer and take currency prisoner and bring it back to me.”

Basically, every dollar is like a small seed that can we can plant and will eventually sprout more dollars.

This is the essence of having “money work for you.”

How Does This Lower My Taxes?

Now that we understand in order to work smarter and NOT harder, we must make our money work FOR us.

So how do we do this?

How does it help our taxes?

Great questions.

I want to help you do BOTH, free up your time and also lower your bill to Uncle Sam.

Think about all of the taxes you currently pay. I’m not talking about sales tax, property tax, occupancy tax or income tax.

I’m focusing more so on investments.

VTSAX

Let’s say you want to invest in a Vanguard Index fund such as the Total Stock Market Index Fund (VTSAX).

If this is outside of a retirement account, you’d have to pay income tax on your wages first, then invest. If you’re like most, in order to invest $1,000, then you’d have to make about $1,400 (40% tax bracket).

Once you start taking money out, you have to pay capital gains tax. There’s another tax.

Then when you exit this world, the government hits you again with an inheritance tax.

So if we’re taxed literally to death our entire lives, don’t you think it’s smart to want to try to do something about it now while we can still enjoy ourselves? I do.

Our main focus should be on purchasing assets now, during our working careers, that allow us to begin to build passive income to replace our expenses.

It’s the passive income that we should focus on as the IRS treats it differently than your active income. When I say differently, I mean that it’s taxed at a MUCH lower rate than what you’re used to.

Which brings us back to the subject of capital gains and the pros and cons of capital gains tax.

What is Capital Gain Tax?

According to Investopedia, a capital gain occurs when you sell an asset for more than you paid for it.

That means:

Capital Gain = Selling Price−Purchase Price

Just as the government wants a cut of your income, it also expects a cut when you realize a profit on your investments. That cut is the capital gains tax. 

Didn’t I tell you that we were going to be taxed to death!

According to IRS.gov, almost everything you own and use for personal or investment purposes is a capital asset.

Examples include:

your home

personal-use items like household furnishings

stocks or bonds held as investments

How much these gains are taxed depends on how long you held the asset before selling.

What Is Short-Term Capital Gains Tax?

Short-term capital gains are taxed as though they are ordinary income.

What this means is any profits received from the sale of an asset you held for one year or less is taxed at your normal income tax rate.

What Is Long-Term Capital Gains Tax?

Long-term capital gains tax are based on profits received from the sale of an asset you held for more than a year.

Depending on your taxable income and filing status, the long-term capital gains tax rate is 0%, 15% or 20%.

The 2020 Capital Gains Tax Brackets

Long-Term Capital Gains Tax Rate Single Filers (Taxable Income) Married Filing Jointly Heads of Household Married Filing Separately 0% $0-$40,000 $0-$80,000 $0-$53,600 $0-$40,000 15% $40,000-$441,450 $80,000-$496,600 $53,600-$469,050 $40,000-$248,300 20% Over $441,550 Over $496,600 Over $469,050 Over $248,300

Image source – IRS.gov

From the chart above, most high income earners typically fall into the 15% or 20% categories.

Capital Gains Example

I like to play a game with my kids that involves picking stocks based on past values.

So for instance, I’d say, “Kids, here’s three different stocks. Which would you invest in ten years ago with $1,000?”

After they pick, I then reveal the current stock price. Some are HUGE wins and some aren’t. The point I’m trying to get across to them is that it’s nothing more than a guess.

So let’s play a different version of the game with you.

Let’s say you lucked up and bought 100 shares of Tesla stock (TSLA) at $20 each. You noticed less than a year after purchasing, your investment took off like a “rocket” and you wanted to sell.

But then you remembered reading this article regarding the pros and cons of capital gains tax and decided to hold off until just over a year.

Great news! You sold your original investment for $1,000 per share! Now let’s assume you fall into the 15% long-term capital gains tax category.

The table below summarizes how your gains are affected.

HOW CAPITAL GAINS AFFECT EARNINGS Bought 100 shares @ $20 $2,000 Sold 100 shares @ $1000 $100,000 Capital gain $98,000 Capital gain taxed @ 15% $14,700 Profit after tax $83,300

In the above example, you have to give $14,700 of your profit back to Uncle Sam. He’s going to get his, trust me.

But remember it could have been worse if you’d have followed your initial reaction and sold the stock less than a year after purchasing.

In that situation, your profit would have been taxed at your ordinary income tax rate (short term capital gains tax), which can be as high as 37% or $36,260.

Pros and Cons Of Capital Gains Tax

Whenever it comes to the subject of taxes, it’s always best to check with your CPA or real estate attorney.

Thus far, we’ve learned that:

Capital Gain = Selling Price − Purchase Price

A capital-gains tax is assessed when a capital asset is sold for profit.

Depending on an investor’s individual tax needs, many utilize strategic techniques for either taking a capital gain or loss.

It’s for this reason that capital gains taxes can have both pros and cons.

Pro – Tax deferment

One of the reasons I love being a real estate investor has to do with taxes. Specifically the deferment of those little critters. As a real estate investor, you don’t pay taxes on the equity gained until the year that the property sells (for a profit).

Likewise, an investor that purchases stocks, bonds or mutual funds doesn’t pay until either the assets are sold or a distribution is taken.

Think about your income tax. Uncle Sam wants it EVERY year. It’s gotten so large for us that we pay monthly just to be able to stomach it. 🙁

Con – Reduced profits

The IRS classifies a capital asset as basically everything you own for personal use or investment purposes.

As we’ve learned today, we’re taxed whenever these assets are sold for a profit.

The disadvantage of this tax is that it can reduce the overall profits realized from the sale of the asset.

Are You Ready To Learn More About Lowering Taxes?

Join the Passive Investors Circle today.

The post Capital Gains Tax 101 For High Income Earners appeared first on Debt Free Dr..

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Car insurance?

Car insurance?

Car insurance?

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Dating in my forties

What a mess, or really what I mean to say is, I guess it’s a mess because I have no clue what is going on. I joined 5 dating sites/apps because after a year it’s time to get out there. So far it’s been a massive bust. The problem is I have several strikes against me. I’m only separated, because getting divorced is a complicated and time-consuming process. But there’s unbeknownst to me, this massive stigma with being separated. As I created my bios and I explored the sites I started reading multiple comments about “Don’t message me if you’re separated” or they would list Separated as a non-preference. I guess I understand that Separated is this murky “Does he doesn’t he have feelings for his ex?” But I wish there was a “Divorce in process” status. I messaged a woman after reading her bio. She deleted my message unread and updated her bio to say don’t message me if you’re separated.  It’s just frustrating to feel like even a year later after she bailed on the marriage and found comfort in the arms of someone else I am still being held down by her. I’m under this weird dating curfew. Sorry pal, you’re not carrying the right name plate for your marital status. I know I could easily flip my status to Divorced, but why start off a new relationship with a lie?

I am a manager at my job that employs hundreds of people. But, after meeting my wife there 10 years ago, I am not willing to fish from the company waters again. I usually work 10-hour days, and I work weekends on occasion. So that limits my social time. This is a small town, and I did not grow up here, so my social circle is even smaller than normal. I would say it’s almost minuscule. My friends are also considerably younger than I am, so the single women they know are 15 years younger than I am. Which is rather awkward for me. As enticing as it is to date a 28 year old, it really doesn’t seem healthy for either of us.

I had weight loss surgery this year, and have shed a human being in weight, but I am still a bigger guy. I weight 306, which is still very large. So folks don’t take a look at me without seeing anything but my extra sized stomach. I also know that I’m not interested in a larger woman (who have shown me interest) because I am terrified of the resurgence of habits that got me over 440 pounds. I don’t want someone who eats unhealthy amounts, or who wants to only binge watch TV, or not go out and do things. I know it sounds shitty, and I know it sounds selfish. But I would like to connect with someone who has interests in staying active and will challenge me to try harder outside. To bike more, to walk more, to exercise more. This second chance to get it right can’t end in a snuggle habit on the couch watching TV. I want to run a 5k, I want to compete in a tough mudder. I want to do cross fit because it makes me feel better about myself. I don’t want to have a firm opinion on which Ben & Jerry’s flavor is best. I just don’t see that coming from people who aren’t out there taking care of themselves. Maybe I am wrong, maybe there’s a 250 lb woman who will kick my ass into gear. It just feels unlikely.

Then there’s the elephant in the room that is dating in your 40’s is hard because single men in their 40’s are not exactly prizes. There’s a reason you couldn’t get your relationship to work. I know that, and I have worked on my issues over this year so I feel like I should be on the higher end of the spectrum. I have a long term job, house, car, don’t have a drug habit, or criminal past. I am the guy from a Tom Hanks script circa 1998, but the role was cast by Chris Farley. And women aren’t clamoring for the big fat guy.

So I guess I’ll hang up 2018. In about 6 months I should be closer to my goal of 200 lbs. Then my physical looks should match my personality and attitude. My ex wife was my friend for 3 years before she took a chance dating me. I didn’t think I had it in me to wait until summer of 2019 before I dated again, but that seems to be the grim future for me.

It’s not just a sci-fi scenario in the Handmaid’s Tale: Actual scientists are worrying about a coming reproductive apocalypse.

You heard me right.

Over the past 30 years, as concerns that environmental changes are harming our reproductive capacity have grown, scientific journal articles have trickled out that look at whether sperm counts are declining. But those studies were often riddled with flaws and limitations, and scientists couldn’t agree on how to interpret them.

Then came what’s now considered the most definitive study on the question, published in the journal Human Reproduction Update in 2017. The finding that got a lot of attention: The concentration of sperm in semen, also known as sperm count, halved in the West since the 1970s. The finding that got less attention: Even the new low is still well within a normal range for sperm.

In the press release for the study, the authors declared a sperm-centric public health emergency. “This study is an urgent wake-up call for researchers and health authorities around the world to investigate the causes of the sharp ongoing drop in sperm count,” said Dr. Hagai Levine, the study’s lead author, from the Hebrew University of Jerusalem’s Faculty of Medicine, “with the goal of prevention.”

Since then, online communities known as the “manosphere,” where men fret about being emasculated, have seized on the study as evidence that they are being feminized by modern society. GQ portrayed the decline as an augur of a dystopian future. “Within a generation, men may lose the ability to reproduce entirely,” Daniel Noah Halpern wrote in the magazine in September.

Lost in this conversation, as usual, is nuance about the research. I spent the past week talking to epidemiologists, andrologists (the male equivalent of gynecologists), and fertility doctors who work on male reproductive health and found a pretty stark divide. While the epidemiologists were generally more convinced by the sperm-pocalyse, the front-line practitioners treating men were not.

“If it were true [that sperm counts halved], in all the studies we do on normal young men, we’d see sperm concentrations of 30 million instead of 60 million,” Brad Anawalt, a University of Washington hormone specialist focused on male infertility, told me. “We just don’t see that.”

But even the sperm-pocalyse skeptics I spoke to agreed there’s a trend decline — it just probably looks much less ominous than the Handmaid’s Tale. So here are the sperm questions that are bound to come up — everything from what might be causing the decline to whether men are having a harder time having children — answered.

Human sperm. Getty Images/Science Photo Library RF

Before we get into today’s sperm troubles, let’s start with a quick primer on what healthy sperm are supposed to look like.

Sperm, as you may know, are the reproductive cells in semen, and they’re produced in the testes. “The testicle is a boiler making sperm constantly,” Paul Turek, a California-based researcher and urologist in men’s infertility, explained. And when sperm are made, they’re like a fine wine — they need to be stored and aged for 72 days before they’re ready to travel.

Once mature, they travel from the testes through a network of tubes that propel them out of the penis during ejaculation, picking up enzymes and other ingredients of semen along the way.

When doctors test sperm quality, through a semen analysis, there are a few important measures they look at:

Sperm count (or sperm concentration): Semen that has at least 15 million sperm per milliliter is more likely to fertilize an egg, so that’s the level of concentration fertility doctors want to see in men hoping to have kids.

Motility: To get to the egg, sperm have to be able to swim, so movement is another key measure. Men with sperm where at least 40 percent are moving are more likely to be fertile.

Morphology: The shape of the sperm matters too. They should look just like tadpoles — immortalized in the Woody Allen classic Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex But were too afraid to Ask — with little oval heads and long tails. A man’s chance of conceiving is thought to go up the more normal-shaped sperm he has.

But these measures aren’t perfect. Turek said studies on semen quality in the same man can look 100 percent different sample to sample. Some of this is because of human bias. For example, morphology is a more controversial predictor of fertility, in part because the people reading samples can have varying views on the proportion of abnormally shaped sperm. Lifestyle factors (like drinking, smoking, saunas) can also dramatically change sperm quality, so a man’s semen can look very different depending on what he’s been up to recently. (More on this later.)

The sperm quality measures also aren’t always predictive of fertility. While a man with no sperm can’t father a child through intercourse, researchers have found some men with relatively low sperm counts can conceive — and others with more abundant sperm can’t.

“I always say normal is 15 million sperm per mL,” Anawalt said. “That means millions of sperm in the ejaculate. But why is it that some men can conceive and other guys with the same numbers don’t conceive? It’s a great mystery what divides those two groups of men.”

Okay, so back to the panic over falling sperm counts.

In the Human Reproduction Update paper — a systematic review and meta-analysis — researchers at Hebrew University and Mount Sinai medical school brought together data from 185 studies on sperm samples collected between 1973 and 2011.

These studies involved 43,000 men in men from around the world — including North America, Europe, Oceania, South America, Asia and Africa. And they focused on sperm count (because unlike sperm morphology and motility, the sperm count metric hasn’t changed over the years). Specifically, they included only studies that collected the semen via masturbation, and used “hemocytometer,” a counting-chamber device, for measuring sperm counts.

Christina Animashaun/Vox

Their major finding: Sperm counts fell by 53 percent in the past four decades in North America, Europe, Australia and New Zealand. In the early 1970s, men had, on average, 99 million sperm per milliliter of semen. By 2011, that number dropped to 47 million per milliliter. So, with every passing year, men’s sperm count dropped by about 1 percent “with no evidence of a ‘leveling off’ in recent years,” the study authors warned.

“This was the most recent [study] trying to answer the question,” said Harvard’s Jorge Chavarro, a fertility-focused epidemiologist, who was not involved in the study, “and by far the most convincing evidence that sperm counts are dropping.”

But before we get carried away, a couple of caveats about that meta-analysis.

While the 50 percent drop in the West sounds dramatic, men’s sperm counts are still well within a normal range. As one andrology professor told the Science Media Centre, average sperm counts went from “‘normal’ (99 million sperm per mL) to ‘normal’ (47 million sperm per mL).” And again, doctors don’t start worrying until semen dips below 15 million sperm per mL.

The study authors also found the slope of the sperm count decline wasn’t as significant in the non-Western countries (in South America, Asia and Africa), where sperm count even went up among men who were known to have fathered a child. (They thought this may be because men in non-Western countries haven’t been exposed to the same chemicals from industrial development as Western men have; more on that later.) But this raises the question of whether there’s something else that’s different about the groups or studies that might explain this variation.

Finally, the study was based on older studies done in different countries and labs. Unlike a new experiment specifically designed to test the question of what’s going on with men’s swimmers, it’s possible these older studies have important confounding factors, or unmeasured variables, that influenced the results.

Male fertility doctors, like Anawalt and Turek, also said they just haven’t seen this dramatic decline in sperm counts during their years in practice, and they’re not convinced a there’s an apocalypse coming.

To truly prove sperm counts halved, you’d need a long-term prospective study — one that looks forward in time, following men over generations, Turek said. But we don’t have that, and the 2017 study is the best data we have. Still, even critics like Turek, who disagree with the dramatic slope of the decline in that paper, believe it belies a trend. “It’s pretty convincing things are trending down,” he said.

“The leading hypothesis is that there has been a vast increase in the number and volume of chemicals that have entered the environment during the last 50 years,” Chavarro said. Shutterstock

Scientists’ best guess is that there are a number of changes in how we live that haven’t been good for sperm. Being overweight or obese is associated with poorer semen quality — and we’ve seen rates of overweight and obesity soar over the past several decades. Smoking, stress, sedentary lifestyles, and alcohol and drug use are all also implicated.

But a major factor (and one that’s surprisingly uncontroversial among scientists) is thought to be the rise of the 20th-century chemical industry.

“The leading hypothesis is that there has been a vast increase in the number and volume of chemicals that have entered the environment during the last 50 years,” Chavarro said.

Think about it. Much of the food we eat, and the everyday objects we use these days, are stored in or made using plastics, which contain man-made chemicals. These chemicals are also present in our creams and cosmetics, our household cleaning products, as well as our drugs and medical devices. They leach into our food and water, into the environment, and into our bodies.

Most are thought to be harmless. But as I’ve explained with my colleague Radhika Viswanathan, some can mess with our hormones — as “endocrine disruptors” — in ways that hamper our reproductive capacity.

Specifically, chemicals like BPA, BPS, and phthalates are known to mimic hormones like estrogen, interfere with important hormone pathways in the thyroid gland, and inhibit the effects of testosterone. And even though many companies are now manufacturing phthalate- or BPA-free products, scientists are concerned about substitute chemicals, since they’re often functionally similar to the chemicals of concern.

What this means for men’s sperm counts: Men who are exposed to hormone disruptors in utero have been shown to produce less testosterone, less sperm, and have other physiological changes associated with, as GQ’s Halpern put it, being “less male.”

For example, there’s compelling data that in utero phthalate exposure is linked to a decrease in something called “anogenital distance,” or AGD, in baby boys. AGD is the space between the anus and the genitals, and a man’s is usually twice as long as a woman’s. In men, a shorter AGD has been associated with poorer semen quality, less testosterone, and a higher risk of infertility.

One of the scientists to first describe this phenomenon, Mount Sinai’s Shanna Swan, told Vox that these early chemical exposures have lifelong results. “The lowered androgen and alteration of development that happens in utero [results in] changes that are lifelong,” she said. “They are not correctable. Maybe in the future with genetic modification, you can alter a man’s germ cells that produce his sperm — but for now, if those are impacted adversely, a man will have a lowered sperm count his whole life.”

Just because there’s compelling data doesn’t mean we have air-tight answers. Since we’re exposed to these chemicals from many sources simultaneously, and we were exposed to them alongside all those other lifestyle changes I mentioned earlier, it’s tricky to tease out cause and effect. For now, though, it’s the best explanation experts have.

The short answer is: It’s hard to know.

A couple is diagnosed with infertility after one year of unprotected sex. In the US, between 12 and 15 percent of couples are unable to conceive at that point. About a third of the time, the problem is with the man. According to the Centers for Disease Control, the number of couples who would be classified as infertile, and the number of women seeking out fertility services, hasn’t changed much since 2002. (And by some measures, it’s been getting better.)

But even if the numbers were getting worse, we have to keep in mind that couples are waiting longer to get pregnant, and older age is associated with a higher risk of infertility. For that reason, even the measure of couples seeking fertility services — which hasn’t budged significantly over the past two decades — isn’t very telling.

So these aren’t perfect measures of male infertility, and the truth is we don’t have good data on whether we’ve hit a reproductive apocalypse.

In 2015, the National Institutes of Health brought researchers from around the world together to discuss the question. Importantly, they differentiated between fertility (how many kids people have) and fecundity (how many they are capable of having). Fertility rates have fallen dramatically over the past half-century, but they are heavily influenced by social factors: changes in working patterns, access to birth control, wars, the economy, etc.

Fecundity, on the other hand, is not. And the researchers determined that the question of whether fecundity is changing is currently unanswerable based on current data.

Again, even the 2017 study suggests men still have well-above-normal sperm counts on average. So the big question is what happens if average sperm counts continue their trend decline, to the point where they fall below the levels associated with fertility. That’s what worries people — and not just because there might be fewer kids running around.

Sperm is increasingly viewed as a little window into men’s health. So even beyond the ability to father a child, there are strong associations between poor semen quality and poor health.

In a very interesting article, published in 2009, researchers followed 40,000 men who had sought treatment for infertility, tracking them for up to 40 years. And they found a striking correlation between good semen quality and a lower risk of death. “Mortality decreased as the percentages of normal and motile sperm increased,” they wrote. “Mortality also decreased as the sperm concentration increased up to a threshold of 40 million/mL, which mirrors the finding for the ability to conceive.”

Other papers on different cohorts of men have uncovered similar correlations between mortality, diseases like cancer, diabetes, and cardiovascular disease — and poor sperm quality.

“It’s clear from a number of epidemiological studies that male’s fertility can be a determinant of his overall health,” said Stuart Moss, the director of male reproductive health at NIH’s fertility and infertility branch. “So a low sperm count is troubling from a number of areas. One is, if the trend continues, I’d imagine at some point in time we could start seeing [fecundity] decrease. But more immediately, it could be a biomarker for poor health in general.”

This guy looks too happy to know what’s happening to his sperm. Getty Images/Uppercut RF

I’m glad you asked. Because men can indeed take steps that are sperm-friendly.

Remember: Sperm take 72 days to mature in the body. After that, the mature sperm wait around to get ejaculated. In men who don’t have sex or ejaculate for a long time, those mature sperm can get funky. So one way to increase your fertility is to … have more sex. But not too much.

“The average healthy 18-year-old can ejaculate every day and recharge in time,” said University of Washington’s Anawalt. But for men in their 30s and beyond, sex two or three times per week is thought to be ideal.

Women will be glad to learn that sex with lots of foreplay is better than a quickie or masturbation when it comes to releasing high-quality sperm. “The longer you wait (to ejaculate), the more sperm come out,” Turek explained.

Besides having regular sex, there are other important things men can do to improve their semen quality (and chances of fathering a child):

Remember, it takes a little over two months to replenish a men’s entire sperm population in the testes. So the benefits of any of these changes may take a little while to show up in a semen analysis.

“Treat your body like a temple,” Turek tells his patients. “Pretend you’re training for a race. You need to take great care of yourself. Eat well. Sleep well. Reduce your stress. Exercise. Eat a heart-healthy diet. Your sperm count can be a biomarker of your health.”

Original Source -> Sperm counts are falling. This isn’t the reproductive apocalypse — yet.

via The Conservative Brief

Taking A Vacation From Parenthood By Going Back To Work

One of the things I learned after leaving Corporate America is that entrepreneurship is much harder than a day job. When you have to be the marketer, the creator, the accountant, the publicist, and the customer support, you often wonder how you can make any decision to move your business forward.

But after over a year of being a full-time parent, I’ve come to realize that being an entrepreneur is a walk in the park in comparison!

As a stay at home dad to a newborn, you realize why sleep-deprivation is an effective torture technique used by the CIA. You experience mini-heart attacks on a daily basis because there’s always a close call as they learn to crawl and walk. You endure pain in your knees and back because you constantly get down on their level to make a connection. Your patience is tested as you read the same books, work on the same dexterity exercises, and use the same hand signs over and over again. Then of course there’s the diaper changing, temper tantrums, and crying.

Despite all the difficulties of child raising, I wouldn’t trade the initial years for the world. The joy you get from seeing your little one smile and waddle into your arms when you enter the room is priceless. There’s also an incredible sense of satisfaction helping your baby reach milestones. 

Two Years Of Full-Time Parenthood Seems Like Enough

Now that I’m in my second year of full-time parenthood, I’m beginning to plan ahead. Whereas the typical dad in America might stay at home between 2 – 14 weeks, I told myself that I would stay at home for at least 104 weeks, with the aim of going for 260 weeks until he goes to kindergarten.

Pediatricians say the first two years are the most important developmental years in a child’s life. A child’s brain triples in size from birth to age two and reaches about 75% of an adult’s brain size. Therefore, to be present as much as possible during these first two years seems like a good idea. If he becomes a problem child, at least I gave it my best shot.

Today, however, I’m really not sure if I can last much longer than two years as a stay at home dad. I’ve begun to experience occasional heart arrhythmia from the pressures of simultaneously running a business and helping care for our son with my wife. I’ve also gained another five pounds from the lack of exercise and constant food delivery. Finally I’ve begun to feel the full force of being a sole provider now that our investments are no longer easily providing a healthy return.

Some friends, who have older children, tell me parenting gets easier and more rewarding as children grow. But I can’t count on them being right. Instead, I’m counting on them being wrong so I can hopefully be surprised on the upside.

I need to find some way to unwind before having some type of breakdown. The solution I’ve come up with is taking a year long vacation by going back to work. All my male friends find fatherhood to be relatively easy because they have full-time jobs.

Several mothers I’ve spoken to have found relief in going back to work after three months, although they say they struggle with guilt. But after two years of being a stay at home dad, I don’t think I’ll have much guilt at all, especially if my son goes to pre-school.

Source: Census Bureau

Full-Time Work As A Way To Decompress

Here are eight reasons why going back to work could be the perfect vacation from parenthood.

1) A long and peaceful commute. Although commuting was the #1 reason why I hated going to work, since leaving work in 2012, ridesharing costs have come down by over 50% since. No longer do I need to wait for a super crowded bus that is hardly ever on time. I like the idea of sitting peacefully by myself in an Uber or Lyft for 30-40 minutes each morning and evening. During this time, I could daydream, sleep, or consume mindless information on my phone.

2) Easy work objectives. When I worked in banking, there was constant pressure to bring in the most revenue and be ranked in the top 3 with every single client. That’s all I knew for 13 years. When I did some consulting for some fintech startups, I realized this type of pressure was not normal. Despite working in a fast-paced startup environment, I found people at the three startups I consulted for to be much less high strung with much lower objectives. As a result, I believe I can go back to work at most places and not feel the same amount of pressure that I felt in banking.

3) Nice water cooler conversations, holiday parties, and work boondoggles. Nobody works 100% of the time during the work day. There’s a lot of long bathroom breaks, smoke breaks, coffee breaks, lunch breaks, and company outings. I’m always envious of friends who get to go with their work team to a Giants or Warriors game in the middle of the day. I love attending holiday parties and watching colleagues get drunk and making a fool out of themselves in front of their bosses. One time a guy got so drunk he professed his love for his female boss in front of a dozen folks. It was hilarious! Seriously, who doesn’t love having fun on company time while also getting paid.

4) Endless meetings to relax the mind. Some organizations have so many meetings it’s hard to get anything done. Combine so many meetings with water cooler conversations and work boondoggles, it’s no wonder why I found it much easier to get 3X more done in the same amount of time working for myself at home. Getting 1X worth of stuff done at work would be a peace of cake. I’d use all the endless meetings and extra time to zone out and recharge my mental health. I might even go work out for an hour a day as well.

5) A better social life. As an extrovert, I enjoy spending time with people. I have a feeling it’s much harder being a stay at home parent as an extrovert than as an introvert. My wife has the amazing ability to stay at home for an entire week and not go stir crazy. I, on the other hand, start getting grouchy after about one day of being at home. Joining a workforce elevates my chance of having a better social life. I should be able to make new friends and attend the random weekend BBQ or house party. I love those.

Related: The Key To A Longer Life: Fear Being Alone

6) Optimization of work. Even with blogging, there’s a diminishing level of return. It feels wonderful to work online for 1-3 hours a day and get 90% of the benefits. After the third hour of blogging, blogging no longer becomes fun. By going to work for 10 hours a day and earning a steady paycheck, I could easily maintain Financial Samurai before and after work just like the old days. Maximizing the day brings me joy.

Related: Why Blogging Is The Best Business On Earth

7) More appreciation for family. Distance always makes the heart grow fonder. But if you’re with someone 24/7, you will naturally take that person for granted. By being gone most of Monday – Friday, I’ll appreciate my Saturdays and Sundays with the family more. I’ll plan more fun things for all of us to do. With me being gone most of the week, my wife will appreciate more of my efforts during the first two years of our son’s life as well. She’ll also become more independent. Finally, my son might miss me more and be more excited to spend time with me.

8) Financial relief. The obvious benefit of full-time work is getting a steady paycheck and healthcare benefits. It was relatively easy providing for just the two of us, but something about having a baby increases your level of financial responsibility to new heights. Having an extra income and insurance source would certainly create more relief, especially if the stock market and real estate market begins to seriously roll over.

We pay $1,625 a month for health insurance as a self-employed family. Then we pay another $120 for dental insurance. That’s nuts! How is this even a reasonable amount to pay when all of us are all relatively healthy? If we stay in San Francisco and have another child, $300,000 a year in gross income might be necessary.

Find The Right Vacation Job

Getting a job at a startup, in banking, or in management consulting would not be a vacation job. Instead, a “vacation job” is one that’s at a huge organization where profits are plentiful. The larger the organization, the smaller your impact. Given management has lower expectations of you and has so much money, your stress will be lower. At a startup, one wrong decision could mean the death of the business.

Organizations that have long-term objectives instead of quarterly objectives are also wonderful. Working for a small-cap public company is probably going to be incredibly stressful because they’ll always be wondering which gorilla will launch a competing product and eat their lunch. Conversely, working at a large private organization could be just the ticket.

I don’t want the term vacation job to be pejorative. I’m simply describing a vacation job as something fun, meaningful, and that can be easily accomplished based on your skill set.

Here are my vacation jobs guesses that would best suit me:

* Venture Capitalist: You get paid well, don’t have to risk any of your money, work reasonable hours, don’t have to build a business, get to attend a lot of social functions, and aren’t judged on performance until the end of the fund’s life (5-10 years). A lot of venture capitalists don’t even have firsthand experience building a business.

* Quant Fund Manager: The computer does all the investing for you once you’ve developed the proper algorithms. So long as you are performing in-line or better than your index, all you’ve got to do is press a button once in a while and you’re golden.

* Index Fund Manager: Your job is to simply stay on top of any changes in a particular index and copy the changes in your index fund. You literally don’t have to think of any new ideas or make any hard decisions because your investors are investing in your fund for the low fees. But you can easily try to market yourself as an Index+ investor with a sexy edge if you want.

* Sports Broadcaster: It would be amazing to be a sideline reporter for every major tennis open. I can easily watch tennis for eight hours a day and talk about tennis for another four hours. Ah, now you know another reason why I’ve been practicing my oral delivery through my podcast.

* Fintech Startup Board Member / Advisor: As someone who lives in San Francisco, worked with dozens of fintech startups since 2009 and organically grew a personal finance site to 1M+ organic pageviews a month, I’d be a good fit for many startups in the financial technology space. I’m connected, have operational expertise, know how to grow a business, and have a platform they can leverage.

I’d love to know if you have a vacation job or know of anybody who has a vacation job. All ideas are welcome. By planning ahead, I hope to increase my chances of landing that perfect gig.

Related:

A List Of Career Limiting Moves To Blow Up Your Future

Family Or Career? You Only Have To Sacrifice 5 Years Of Your Life

Readers, what are your thoughts about going back to work to take a vacation from parenthood? What are some negatives about work and leaving my son behind after he goes to pre-school I’m not considering?

https://www.financialsamurai.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/05/Taking-a-vacation-from-parenthood-by-going-back-to-work.m4a

The post Taking A Vacation From Parenthood By Going Back To Work appeared first on Financial Samurai.

from Finance https://www.financialsamurai.com/thinking-about-taking-a-vacation-by-going-back-to-full-time-work/ via http://www.rssmix.com/

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"What is the *cheapest* car insurance for a 20 year old female driver in TX?

I'm going to pay. I don't have any close family that can put me under their insurance, so please give me the CHEAPEST choice... Thank you.

BEST ANSWER:  Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://financeandcreditsolutions.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr 

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Car accident without insurance?

So today I rear ended a 2011 Honda Civ, a small strach [sp], some paint missing and a possible dent. My car on the other hand suffered some significant damage. Now as we were preparing to exchange info, I find out my car doesn't have insurance (its my parents and I wasn't informed) and I told her I will pay for damages and apologized, etc. Now I asked how much would it cost, etc. Her insurance company told her I would have to pay $20+ per day for her rental car how ever many days its in the shop. That I can handle. But say worse case scenarios: How much would it cost to replace a back bumper for a 2011 honda civ? Or to fix a dent, color, paint, etc? Has this happened to anyone else without insurance, etc?""

Average cost in nj for 17 year old girl for car insurance?

thanks

Is it true the you can get car insurance thru Medicaid or Medicare?

I heard this is true but I don't know because my parents are disabled they are 51 and 56 they own a car but no insurance they need it to get to there doctor's appointment's and hospital visits. So is this true if anybody knows please help by giving info on this by giving a link or number. Or you can help by referring to a place that will help them out because they only live on the disability checks and food stamps. Thanks for helping

Is my auto insurance goes up after I got speeding ticket? How much would it cost me?

Is my auto insurance goes up after I got speeding ticket? How much would it cost me?

Need cheap & affordable Health Insurance?

I have a friend, Yes a Friend, She and her husband are paying $160 a month for Health insurance & its, Medi-cal, Which is Welfare, So I told her that there has to be a GOOD Insurance out there that is cheaper, She needs help, Can she find anything thats better then $160 month.""

How long is a quarter period in insurance?

My insurance says: Family coverage: $2,213 per quarter So how long is that? 3 months or what?""

Does anyone knows which insurance company is better? Great eastern or prudential?

Does anyone knows which insurance company is better? Great eastern or prudential?

I need insurance on my car and need to keep the cost low as possible?

Will it be ok to cut out the no claims protection or is this a must, I have over ten years, is there any other way to keep it low. Thanks""

""With the on going crisis, is it still possible to get cheap auto insurance in california?""

i know people who've gotten their fingers burnt, so .........""

I am a new driver with insurance queries.can anyone help me?

i am a new driver and i am thinking of buying a cheap,affordable,small car (ford ka). The problem is that if i put my father's name as the main driver,who has his licence since ages,and put my name as a 2nd driver, how much approx. will my insurance come down to?+ i got my pass plus.""

How where and how can I get cheap car insurance?

I lost my job last year and I'm getting back on my feet again and I'm looking for very cheap insurance because I still can't pay too much.

GAP insurance vs Full Coverage?

Im getting ready to buy my first car. I live in Indiana. I am being told getting GAP insurance is suggested, but from what they say. I don't see a difference in GAP and Full Coverage. So What is the difference between GAP insurance and Full Coverage. In Indiana, and what is recommended to do or get""

What is a good car that is cheep and i won't have to pay a higher insurance?

researching a new car and with money so tight im looking for cheep...so what ever you guys can give that is cheep, and won't raise my insurance is great""

How much would my car insurance be?

i plan to by a 95 toyota , i have been driving since i was 17 and now 21 and have had no accidents. how much would my insurance be on average.""

What is the cheapest way to get insurance on my first car.?

I am 18 and am buying a 1.2 corsa. I need to know the cheapest way to insure it. Even if I have to go on a relatives insurance. Please help

How much is car insurance per year for a oldish mini?

I'm 18 in June and I would really love a mini say 2005 or something like that. How much roughly would insurance be per year for one of them. Thanks guys :)

Cheapest car insurance?

I'm looking for the cheapest car insurance coverage right now. All I need is an affordable quote, so I don't care about how good the company is or how much they will cover. I just need affordable insurance to drive a car. I had 2 tickets, and all the quotes I've been getting so far are over $1,000 for 6 months. I am fully aware that I drove like a dummy and was unlucky as hell; that's where the 2 tickets came from. So please don't make any comment on that. I just need some help. Thank you!""

""When buying your most recent car, how did you obtain auto insurance?""

A few options, feel free to choose one or just let me know what happened to you. A. You bought insurance at the dealership B. You bought insurance at home within a week of purchasing the vehicle C. You bought insurance at home longer than a week after purchasing the vehicle D. You already had insurance and just added the car to your existing policy. Don't worry, I won't tell anyone if you drove home uninsured. :) Thanks! Also, let me know if you bought a new or used car.""

About how much should the car insurance of a 17 year old who drives a 2003 Black Ford Mustang?

About how much should the car insurance of a 17 year old who drives a 2003 Black Ford Mustang?

Why is it that you pay all this money for car insurance?

Why is it that you pay all this money for car insurance and after an accident you still need to pay a deductible? Think about this; if you payed $200 a month for 5 yrs without an accident; that's $12,000; you would still need to pay a deductible to get your car fix and your premiums will go up. That's enough money to buy a new compact car. Just curious to see if anyone has the answer.""

Do you pay taxes on a Life Insurance payout?

my father died and my mother will be seeing her tax person. Will she be paying taxes on the money she collected from my dads life insurance?

How much would would Car Insurance be for a 17 year old male?

Im a student, want to take my test. If i pass it how much do you reckon driving insurance will be. Say if i registered it under my mums insurance. i wanit a car for university so i can drive home quickly and easily. How much would it be under my mums insurance and how much would it be if i got thee smallest engine (Vauxhal Corsa or Citroen C2) for example...""

What is the best and most affordable auto insurance?

I am paying $3,099 for 2 cars.They said it is high because my 19 year old daughter is listed as a occasional driver and it's her age.My husband and I have a clean record and we ...show more""

Does cheap health insurance exist?

I relocated because my wife found a better job but problem is I don't have insurance now my current job doesn't offer it and I can't jump on hers for like a year. Is there such a thing as affordable insurance as in under $150 a month for basic doctor visit co-pays and rx?

What is the *cheapest* car insurance for a 20 year old female driver in TX?

I'm going to pay. I don't have any close family that can put me under their insurance, so please give me the CHEAPEST choice... Thank you.

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/can-i-shop-auto-insurance-before-buy-car-dan-barrett"

Winter market... right time to buy, or not? Home buyer education & free/non-promotional home buyer & seller classes  Upcoming Free (& non-promotional) Home Buyer Classes:   Saturday, January 6, from 9am-12 (ish)       Marshall Community Center, conference room                                         1009 E. McLoughlin Blvd, Vancouver WA (kitty corner from Clark College) Thursday, January 11, from 5pm-8pm (ish)   Marshall Community Center   1009 E McLoughlin Blvd, Vancouver WA (kitty corner from Clark College)                         Saturday January 20, from 12pm-3pm (ish)       Vancouver YMCA        11324 NE 51st Circle, Vancouver WA (SR 500 & 112th/Gher Road)  If these class dates and/or times don't work for you, please let us know.  We understand that you have lives, and families, and work.  We will work something out that works better with your schedule.  Just let us know....                                                                                   ....we also have home seller classes available too...link on left on website                                                    Remember...with reservation...we will throw in lunch, or dinner!  :-D                                  ~~~~~~~~~                                                                                                                                           Hi!  I am so, so sorry... I have been delinquent on getting these out.  My last one was right before Thanksgiving and vacation.  Then....when we got home we all got that super nasty crud that is going around.  Oh my stars.... we have been so sick!  I never get sick (for which I am ever so grateful), but this year...ugh... not so lucky.  I guess I was due?  Anyhow, between vacation, sickness, and Client Appreciation... I have been very behind.  My new years resolution is going to get back on track with the home adventure blog, exercise more, eat healthier, and ok... who am I kidding on the last two?   I will do better with the home adventure blog though, and getting information out about the classes.  :-)  I can handle those ones.     Thank you to everyone who came to the client appreciation event last Saturday for the new Star Wars: The Last Jedi movie!  I hope everyone enjoyed the lightsabers & holiday hats.  Chris Berg (pinnacle mortgage, 503-320-0925, [email protected]) and I are very grateful for everyone who let's us be part of their home adventures....whether you are buying a home, selling your home, refinancing... or know someone who wants to.... you know we got you!  Thank you for your continued business & your referrals.  We couldn't do this without you!!  :-)     So, this week, let's talk about the current market for a quick moment.....I know that it's winter, and it's the holidays, but honestly, if you are even 'thinking' about buying a home....NOW is the best time.  Yes, there are not a whole lot of homes on the market, but the market is not as competitive as it is during the spring time.  Remember that from offer to keys it will take about 6-7 weeks.  The market tends to pick up and start getting crazy again right about March-April when folks start getting their tax refunds.     So lately I've had a few clients lately asking me where all the homes are.  Well, it's the holidays...  and many folks will wait until after the new year to put their home on the market...new year, and fresh start.  I know of a few homes getting ready to go on the market within the next month.  If you're thinking about buying ....January through March is a great time to be out there.  :-)   Now...please remember that my magic wand is broken, and the magic 8 ball exploded all over my house with the holidays... so no one really knows what is going to happen.  However, most people in the real estate industry agrees that in 201i, we will see interest rates go up. This is a very solid bet.  It's a split decision with industry sources on when prices should plateau off.  With Seattle and the Portland area being 2 of the top markets in the United States, it really depends on how soon we will see more homes on the market.  This is a lot like foretelling the weather right now... as it really depends on when things happen.  Most industry sources do say that home prices should start plateauing though.  This doesn't mean that the home prices will not go up...they just shouldn't go up like last year.  They should steady out. As people see the change in the market coming, more homeowners should put the home on the market so they can begin their move to their new home, and this will help all the price ranges see more homes on the market...which should help with the multiple offers that we saw so much of during the spring of 2017.  2016, & spring of 2017 were awful for multiple offers. This summer, and fall were not as bad.       So yes, prices are still going up, but let's talk about how all that works.  I bought my old home in late 2001, with a 6.875% interest rate....don't feel bad, or shocked....in a 'healthy' market, a 'normal' interest rate would be about 7%.  We were THRILLED to be under 7%!   We sold that home this year, and it was harder than I thought it would be.  It was our first home, and we had lived there for 16 years.  It was the craziest thing, but did you know that when our buyers purchased our home for the $285,000 it was worth, with the 4% interest rate.... our mortgages were almost THE SAME!   Wait...I'm not (that) crazy...it's economics.  Yes, they bought it for more than I owed, but with a much lower interest rate.   That equaled my lower owed amount, but higher interest rate. How crazy is that???  Now, here's the crazy part... in 2016, my old house was only worth about $245,000.  NUTS!!!  My mother purchased a home in the 80's for $70,000, but her interest rate was 18.375%!!!   ....now that is crazy!!    The point of this is that while yes, prices are going up, the interest rates are still really low, so you can purchase more home.   When this changes, and interest rates rise it doesn't mean that home prices will immediately start dropping, they should start leveling off ...it will take a bit of time to balance out though.         I have clients asking me if they should just settle then on a home, and frankly this is a tough question.   No, you shouldn't 'just settle' on a home, but you may have to adjust either the type of home you want, the location, or be able to go up in purchase price to get what you want.  Please remember that this most likely is not your last home, but your home for the next 5-10 years....that's the average.  Whether you are buying a home, or selling a home...it is exciting, scary, fun, and frustrating.  It's a lot like a roller coaster, or driving down Mill Plain during rush hour,....or during that last month of pregnancy. I tell you....there's a reason I don't drink often.....I'm afraid once I start that I won't stop!  ;-D  (just kidding)  Having bought and sold a home this year myself, I can assure you that even if you help 40+ families a year....it's still a roller coaster when it is you on the ride.  We're here though to help...that's what we do.  When you are looking for a home,  you need to consider more than just the house.  You are also buying the neighborhood, the schools, the property taxes, the local parks, the neighbors, and the local infrastructure.  The home needs to 'fit' you like your favorite pair of pj's. For example....this last weekend I had a client look at a home that she liked.  On paper it was everything she said she wanted, and she couldn't find anything against the house that would cause her to not want to write an offer. So why was she hesitant?  Because this home was that sweater or shirt that looks good on the rack, and so you try it on.  It fits ok, and it looks all right, but there is just 'something' that is 'off' with it.....you can't figure it out either.  Sometimes you buy it, but never wear it, and sometimes you put it back.  Buying the 'right' home is a lot like that.  You can, and will, see homes you like, but they just don't 'fit'.  Put that home back.  Sometimes you see an item of clothing on the rack that you really don't know about....but you try it on anyway and BAM!  you look AMAZING!  Some homes don't look like much from the outside, but you get inside and they are amazing.  Remember that internet home photos are a lot like internet dating....you never know what you are going to see when you get there, and many agents hire professional photographers for a reason.  I can always tell which photos an agent did themselves, and who hired someone.   Finding the 'right' home is like sliding into your favorite jeans, or boots.....there is just something about it that 'fits'.  I see homes I 'like' all the time, but just because I like it doesn't mean it fits.  If you are obsessed with a home that you have seen though.   You really like the home, and you keep going back to the pictures, and driving by the house.....that's the 'right' home....even if it was one of the first homes you saw, or it was something you didn't think you wanted, or weren't sure about.  That home is that sweater/shirt/shoes that you just weren't sure about....until you tried it on.  Darling, you look AMAZING!   Trust your instincts....this is YOUR home, and YOUR mortgage.    With rents going up so much lately you can buy for about what your renting...or close to it.   What is the best time to buy, or sell?  Whenever YOU are ready.  Sometimes waiting makes sense, and sometimes it really doesn't.  I am a firm believer that the right home will always be ready when you are, and that it will all fall into place.  Remember....your agent works for you.   YOUR agent isn't a salesperson.  We shouldn't be trying to 'sell' you on anything.  YOUR agent works for YOU....not the other way around.  When you hire an agent you are hiring a representative; someone who should be looking out for your best interests. Information is power, and I hope that I am able to help you.  Good luck, and as always...May the odds be ever in your favor out there....  If you are looking for a real estate agent, I would love to be able to help you.                                                                                                                                                                                      As always....this is just a quick overview.... please remember that your agent, and your lender work for YOU.  You drive the bus...we are merely GPS to help you get to your goals.  Like the classes, this weekly blog email is to help you with your home adventure.  The goal is to be informative and non-promotional.  :-)  We are, however, hoping you will call and want us to help with your adventure.                                                                       If you have any questions about this, or something you have heard...or if you would like me to help you with your home adventure, please call, email,                                     text, or facebook me anytime.  I am, as always, happy to help!                                                                        Thank you again for your business and your referrals!!  ...and thank you for referring these classes to your friends, family, and co-workers.                                                                           .                                      ..disclaimer...if you have already purchased a home, or would no longer like to receive these emails, please let me know and I will be happy to remove you from any further mailings...                                                                                                            Upcoming Topics:  When is a pre-approval not a pre-approval? Last Week:   55 things NOT to do when buying a home                                   Have a great day, and I will talk to you soon, ;-D Tracie DeMars Real Estate broker Re/Max - Van Mall 360/ 903-3504 cell 360/ 882-3600 fax www.traciedemars.com [email protected]   “Interested in free and non promotional home education classes?  Go to www.freehomebuyerclasses.com for local upcoming home buyer and home SELLER classes, or facebook: Tracie DeMars Real Estate for my home buyer education blog.” "Listen to the mustn'ts, child. Listen to the don'ts. Listen to the shouldn'ts, the impossibles, the won'ts. Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me... Anything can happen, child. Anything can be."    - Shel Silverstein, American poet, cartoonist and composer, (1930 - 1999).   Reply Reply All Forward SlideshowDelete More