Electric Love ~ Dot

An American Horror Story AU fic Based on season 2, asylum.

TRIGGER WARNINGS TAKE SERIOUSLY :

Angst, electroshock therapy, torture, it being asylum is itself a trigger warning, depression, forced medication, self harm, suicide, litteraly everything bad like that please be warned thank you 🙏

Plot : You're a patient in the asylum with kit

status : slightly edited

A/n : Idk how long this will be but I plan on making it atleast a couple parts... probably a series..

"Please stop! STOP it!" you cry, trying to pull your arms away from the two guards dragging you. You look around trying to make sense of where you are again but you immediately regret it as it all comes back. The darkness around consumes you and you truly ask yourself if you are in hell.

"No.. no no no NO NO PLEASE LET ME GO!" you scream again and again seeing the same walls you've seen.. again and again, the same place you were condemned to the place you are trapped, like a mouse in some sick maze. Darkness all around you in every corner, lingering in the air even. The same sickening song playing again and again in the common room, making you more nauseous with every note and every tune. The record player taunting you daily, you swear it's asking you to bash it in. To destroy it. You want nothing more than to lift up that stupid ugly thing, over your head and crack.. Oh the release youd feel is almost worth the punishment.

Most of the time you barely can understand what's around you anymore, it's all so familiar but also so foreign. Unknown to you it's a side-effect of the pills they force down your throat, and you sadly have no choice. You either take them or some sick man you don't know will hold your nose closed forcing you to open up to breathe but instead of air, you get the sick salty taste of fingers and medicine that never seems to go away, instead it lingers. Those damn pills taste terrible even just sitting them on your tounge to swallow makes you nauseous. Hell everything about this damn place made you nauseous the people, the smells, the air, the pills, the treatment and you could go on and on and on If you were sober enough.

The irony smell in the air, reminiscent of blood never seemed to go away and you can recognize it on the hands of some of the staff, 'why' you wonder 'why do their hands smell like blood and death'. The answers you've seemed to come up with terrify you to no end so you prefer to ignore it, to take the pills. Even though they don't seem to help much at all.

You open your eyes not even realizing they've been shut, you feel weirdly numb. But not so numb you feel nothing, just numb enough to be dazed and confused just how they like it. Compliant and scared. They say things to you that you now realise mean nothing, 'thisll fix you, you'll be happy.' , 'just let God into your heart and you'll be alright.' but it's proven again and again to be utter bullshit, everything is utter bullshit. You pray over and over begging for forgiveness, begging to feel anything but this, anything but the excruciating feeling of lonliness and utter dread you feel almost constantly and nothing gets better, you don't get fixed. Maybe it's you or maybe it's the life you've lived or the choices youve made. Or maybe just maybe it's nothing at all, just randomly selected torture that truly means nothing at all. Gathering all the strength you have left you try to kick out, but these two men are bigger, stronger, and alot less doped up than you are. The drugs you're forced to take keep you weak so you wont fight back, but that doesnt stop you from atleast trying.

  Finally, you fall limp in their arms knowing what's going to come next, the worst kind of pain imaginable. One that does damage inside and out, melting your brain more and more every day. Sister Jude had caught you the previous day, or maybe week? It's so blurry you can't truly remember. But the gist is she caught you trying to cut yourself with a piece of sharp metal you had found on the floor somewhere, though now you can't completely remember the whereabouts. Stitched up and at least somewhat healed now, Sister Jude decided to resume your treatments. All you can do now is sob, and pray that it is over soon to a God that never listens.

"Please.." The guards finally strap you down, ignoring your pleas and sobs.

 After a while of silence, Sister Jude finally walks into the room followed by Dr.Arden. "Please Sister, please! I'm begging you please don't do this to me, please. I'LL BE BETTER!" you sob even harder screaming as they forcefully open your mouth to shove a mouth guard inside, your screams now muffled unable to speak.

 You look into Sister Jude's eyes with a pleading look, hoping that maybe just for once she will let you off easy with just a couple welts. Her eyes stare into yours and for a moment, just a moment, you feel that she actually feels bad. The looks in her eyes similar to yours makes you want to scream out but you stay silent knowing you won't be heard. Her mouth opens a bit, you assume to speak. But instead she jumps slightly, startled by the scratchy voice of Dr.Arden.

   "Shall we get on with it?" he sounds impatient, his expression looking eager. You shut your eyes, hot tears still running down your face. Even just hearing Dr.Arden's voice sent chills down your spine. Something about him was evil. It  was almost like he enjoyed the torture.

  "Don't worry ___ we'll get you all fixed up," Sister Jude whispers wiping the tears from your sticky face ", you need to accept God into your life fully if you truly want to get better young lady." just like that her face is serious again and the little bit of hope you had is gone. It's good to not have hope in a place like this, but it's only human nature. Dr.Arden brings the tool to your temple, and finally, the torture begins. You scream out, feeling the electricity pulse throughout your body. Until at some point everything turns black, and your mind goes silent. Maybe this is the end.

Idk if that's even possible, but could you make a bot with Kit and us just being newly married and being comfy together in our cozy homey vibe but with things already set to heat up between the two of us? like when he gets home in the first episode and tries to initiate making love with alma kind of thing?

Gettin’ busy with your beloved Mr. Walker 𐙚 ₊ ⊹

Okay sooo just tried this bot out and these are the first two messages I got??? SOMEONE GET ME A FAN CUZ PHEW-

The greeting message:

I tried not to include anything overly explicit in here, like there’s literally just kissing… NOT EVEN ON THE LIPS. But I still got shadowbanned anyways wtf 😭😭😭

almost forgot to mention, his kids Thomas and Julia are still mentioned in this bot’s settings, so my bad if someone wanted a childless husband!Kit lol

husband!kit walker x reader hcs

wc: 900

genre: fluff, domestic bliss

warnings: kit being adorable, optional mention of reader having a bad family, kit standing up for you, kit is a good husband and head over heels for you

song rec: be my baby - the ronettes

a/n: I LOVE THIS MAN!!!! I LOVE HIM!!!!!!! AWOOGA!!!!!! also I actually rested and it only took two days and I feel literally reborn???? I should do that more often lol

@yesv01

Honestly I can’t even start with dating headcanons

Kit Walker is such pure raw husband material that if you get within six feet of him a diamond ring appears on your finger

He’s a simple man really

He just wants to do a good job at some honest work to provide for you

Come home to your cozy house you share

Kiss you on the lips and dance around your kitchen while dinner cooks

Maybe a couple of rugrats running around 

You know that tiktok audio of “you can pick anyone fictional to be your husband but divorce is never an option” “I COULD GO INTO HEAVY DETAIL. AND I WILL.”

It’s Kit

That’s literally Kit

If you need a fake husband 

Or a temporary husband 

Don’t choose Kit

Bc he will treat you so fucking well

You’ll get way way way too attached

To get this out of the way

I hate to see Kit in distress or pain

But dear god does he look hot when he is

Anyway back to happy Kit

Which is all the time bc he is so so happy around you

I’ve said it before I’ll say it again, this man’s full name is Kit “that’s my wife!” (proceeds to knock someone out swiftly with one punch) Walker

He starts every morning by waking up smiling

Because he gets to wake up next to you

He looks at you, all sun soaked in the morning light, and he can’t believe he gets to live another day with a living dream come true like you

Then he wakes you up with kisses

So so so many kisses

Sometimes other things but that’s another story (and not for the sfw hcs)

This man knows everything about you

He knows how you like your coffee or tea or whatever, your favorite food, your favorite songs for kitchen dancing

He knows everything you love and hate

Yk the “excuse me! he asked for no pickles >:(“ meme

That’s Kit

Kit will (very politely bc he’s kind and understands how hard it is to work jobs that involve the general public bc of all the assholes that come through the garage) fix your order if someone gets it wrong

When someone asks if he’s your boyfriend he’ll happily and proudly correct them that he’s actually your husband

He doesn’t do the thing where he holds up his hand and points to his ring but he will pull you close and wrap his arms around you 

And most likely kiss you in front of the person

God I haven’t brought up The Look in a while

But Kit Walker CONSTANTLY looks at you with The Look 

Like all the goddamn time 

He’s not racist, probably an ally, and definitely a feminist

And he loves you so so much

God he’s such a catch

Once your friends spend a few minutes around him they start to realize that too

Or anyone really

You’re usually met with “wow where did you dig him up?? Where did you find him?? How do I get one??” 

Feel free to say you met at the mental hospital bc no one can tell if you’re joking or not

And he is literally perfect to bring as your date to holiday parties and family events

I mean he’s your husband so why wouldn’t he be your date

But no matter how hectic or crazy family stuff gets, he can totally handle it

He’s the perfect buffer

He’s so naturally smooth and likable and charming 

Everyone in your life that meets him totally approves

I mean all they have to do is see the way he looks at you

No one can deny that

If your family is really bad

Or generally not someone you want to be around

Kit will defend the HELL out of you

He’s not scared of confrontation, especially if it’s on your behalf 

And he is not scared to counter any underhanded comments with “Now, what did you mean by that?”

Will not let it go

He’s not going to let anyone talk shit about his spouse, his love, his sweetheart 

Especially the people that should have your back

It’s so interesting to watch because even when he’s confronting someone and defending you and telling people off for thinking they can treat you like that

It still doesn’t make him feel scary or less gentle than you know he is

And he is so so gentle with you

He says I love you all the time

With every touch

Every kiss

Every look and act of service

He’s saying it

He tells you how much he loves you all the time

Because how can he not??

You’re the most knockout dynamite dreamboat he could ever hope to be around 

He doesn’t know how he got you to fall for him back 

How he got you to love him

(he absolutely swept you off your feet)

But he’s just so glad that you do

He knows you inside and out

He knows everything about you

And he loves all of it

And you know everything about him

And you love him right back

Because you guys really are a match made in heaven

hiii! first of all i'd like to say that i came across your works as of recently and i gotta say your writing is absolutely amazing! secondly, i just binge read all of your incredibly good kit walker fics and they became my favorite hands down lol, sub kit is my absolute favorite! and now my brain just had the kinkest idea about it and won't stop making me imagining it lol, so i was wondering if it would be okay to request it upon the kit walker storyline: they decide to try some super major and really hardcore spanking kink this time, she being a super hardcore dom to the sub kit, but this time they really don't go for anything other than this super hardcore spanking fantasy they're trying, no pegging, no edging, no orgasm denial etc, literally just the spanking stuff with maybe just a little hair pulling and maybe some chains or restrains actually to help with the spanking lol, but the thing is they're longing to try it in its most extreme form ever and now she uses a whole armoury of different implements on kit, idk like whips, floggers, paddles, belt, straps, etc... she literally uses everything to him til eventually he comes to a point where he does use his safeword now and she stops it and proceeds to comfort and soothe and reassure him affectionately in a very fluffy way, but at the same time both of them enjoyed it immensely and kit tells her that, and they're very open about their sensations and how they felt? sorry, it got too long lol... but really, my mind can't stop seeing them on it now and i would REALLY appreciate if you could please write that down... thank you sm anyway, i hope that's okay <3

A/N: Thank you for the compliments and requesting. Also, I can certainly write this and I hope you enjoy it.

Word Count: 1,198

Pairing: sub!Kit Walker x fem!dom!Reader

Warning: BDSM, use of safeword, aftercare

Summary: You had been frustrated and luckily for you, Kit decides to take on the feeling of you lashing it out on his body.

You swore to death you loved Kit more than anything in the world. You wouldn't have married him if you didn't but you needed to let out some stress and you weren't going to hold back on anything since Kit already gave you the consent to take your stress out in any way you wished. You were sitting on the edge of your bed, looking into his eyes with disbelief. 

"You know, Kit, you don't have to allow me to do this if you don't want to. I don't plan on holding back." It was your way of warning him but he only nodded, a small smirk on his lips. "I know what I want and I want you to take your stress out. You know I can take it and I do have a safeword, baby girl." He got closer to you, his breath hitting the sensitive skin of your neck, sending shivers down your spine. "Don't tell me you're afraid," he said playfully. 

"You know, if you want me to spare that pretty ass of yours, you'd speak to me with more respect, Mr. Walker." You got up, excitement and adrenaline pumping inside of you. You wanted to do this for weeks now but never got the opportunity to. You and Kit spoke of doing hardcore things like this before and you did experiment with it a few times, but never went overboard. This time was different. You were going to let all that pent up anger and stress you had from work be free and most importantly, you were going to see your beautiful husband as a ruined and broken mess.

So there you were, standing over his perfect body with different things chosen to use on him. You decided to start with the lightest thing you saw which was a flogger. You had different kinds, each one a bit more painful than the other. “Lay on your stomach for me, okay? And don’t try to be quiet. I want to hear any sound that slips from you.” He did as you asked. “Yes, Mrs. Walker,” he responded, his voice a nice low grumble that you loved so much. 

“I’m gonna start with floggers and make my way up. What’s your color?” “My color is green,” he responded. You smiled and nodded before starting, creating light strikes at first then harder ones. When you got tired of using a certain type, you would switch to the next one, using more pressure each time. Before you knew it, you were already getting a reaction from Kit and decorating his skin in pretty light shades of pink. You then got a belt, already understanding how Kit’s body reacted to certain types of pain. You knew that you couldn’t use the belt too much but you had to make it perfect.

You did your first hit with the belt, creating a red mark on his body. “Tell me what you want, Kit.” You wanted more than just impact play and you felt an urge to just take him as you wanted but you didn’t, you couldn’t. All your stress wasn’t out yet. “I want you,” he gasped out, a guttural groan emitting from him at the feeling of you spanking him once again. “No, Kit. You have me. I’m here and I’m here with you.” You hit him again on the back of his thigh.

“What do you want me to do to you?” “Whatever you want,” he responded. “I want to please you and I want you to use me however you want.” You smirked at his answer. He was always perceptive and never got himself into trouble when he didn’t have to but his answer was right and wrong at the same time. You decided to deliver another lash with the belt, a whimper escaping his lips. “Baby, you make the sweetest sounds,” you praised. “What a shame those sounds can’t help you.” With that, he was hit again, his face buried in the pillows and his body flinching at every crack of the belt.

You eventually grew tired of it, the repetition and the continuous constant energy you put into spanking him. You stopped momentarily, placing the belt back to the place you grabbed it from, then you found another utensil you wanted to use on your husband. This was the last thing you were going to use but it would be for the longest. You wanted to see how far you could press Kit’s body and he had already told you numerous times before that he wanted to too. 

There you stood, your eyes looking deep into his, practically staring him into his soul. “Color?” “Green.” You nodded quietly, walking behind him, out of his sight. You simply took one of your hands and rubbed his bruised skin. His breath hitched and he relaxed into your touch, almost purring like a kitten at the soft affection you gave him despite what you’d been doing minutes before. Then, you removed your hand and delivered a rather harsh hit to his arse. You were starting to feel more relaxed and happier as you continued spanking him.

You thought of the terrible people you saw, the way your boss would be so mean to you everyday, everything that made you tick or made you feel that you’d one day fall apart slowly faded away into oblivion. It was but a small buzz now and it no longer mattered because you got to get it all out on a man who happened to enjoy pain when it came from you. Kit was eternally grateful that you hadn’t seen his face. Had you saw the small tears rolling down his face, you would’ve stopped immediately.

But, he didn’t want you to, not yet at least. He wanted to please you and he still saw some pleasure in what he was feeling. Then, it got worse. The stinging on his skin could no longer be ignored and looked over and he couldn’t take it anymore after you delivered more strikes, harder than the last. He took a deep breath before speaking. “Carmatary,” he said clearly. You stopped at the sound of his voice, dropping the whip to the ground. 

You had never heard him use his safeword before and you had to make sure he was okay. You went in front of him, cupping his tear stained face in your hand. “Baby, I didn’t hurt you too bad did I?” He shook his head. “No, you just went a bit further than what I can take.” You kissed his forehead then hugged him. “You should’ve said something when you started to cry.” “Mmmm mmm, I didn’t want to. I really liked it.”

You smirked at him. “You did so good, honey.” You went to your dresser to get some lotion and walked over to him. You smoothed it over his bruised skin, being as gentle and soft as you possibly could be before putting everything up. Kit flipped over onto his back and you climbed into the bed with him, enjoying the feeling of his arms wrapping around you. “I love you,” you mumbled against him. “I love you too.” 

i guess you guys kinda liked my first headcanons thingy so here's another one :)

did this really cool thing where each character kinda has their own story but edited into headcanons, sounds kinda confusing so read ahead!

The Evans X Being Upset

warnings: smuttt, choking mention, daddy kink mention, mommy kink mention, name calling, slapping, hardcore penetration mention , oral sex mention, 69 mention, dom, sub, handcuffing, murder mention

James Patrick March

Do. Not. Get. James. Mad.

You're asking for death, literally.

Will degrade the fuck out of you 'til he sees your vulnerability jumping right at him.

"I suppose you do not want my presence around you, hm dear?" James'd ask on account of you completely ignoring him after hearing rumors of your dear husband sleeping around.

"Get the fuck out of my face, James." you'd emotionlessly speak to his now grunting appearance not shifting the minimum. "I said get out." you stated once again, now scanning his face as you notice his eyes fidgeting between your own and lips as he was just a few inches away from you.

"If not, what my dear?" James teased, his breath now fanning your face from lack of personal space. You would only look at him silently triggering his outrageous self to transcend out of his body. 

"TALK TO ME!" James'd scream, his veins nearly popping out of his neck and arms as his blood rushed through his masculine figure with blunt exasperation. You'd look up at him with a smirk as his chest motioned up and down at an unsteady pace.

Admiring his irritation you'd add by rhetorically questioning him "You seem upset Mr. March, is there anything I can possibly do?" Causing an undeniabley intimidating death stare to prep on his dark tinted eyes, directing at your own.

"I know what you want, and I'll be giving you exactly that." James would say in a seductive whisper as he tightened the handcuffs on your delicated hands fe... ( moving on :0 )

Kit Walker

Kit being such a manly fucker, would intimidate the hell out of you if he were to be upset with you.

Will definitely throw things and yell at you but later apologize for his misconduct.

Or will ignore you to prevent himself from crossing the lines, mistreating you.

He loved when you infruated him though , perfect excuse for his punishments.

"Do you want me to take away that attitude of yours, Kit?" you'd ask him in a mockingly annoying voice to just press on his buttons. "Is that really what you wanna do, Y/N?" he'd reply, his gaze feirce and alarming in your eyes, silently ordering you to not say another word.

"Why the fuck are you so mad anyway? I wasn't really serious yo–"

"Bedroom, now." (welp)

Detective Colin Zable

Definitely a switcher between sub & dom js.

Even though Colin wouldn't bare the idea of even getting near upset with you, there's been a few times.

Will avoid eye contact and conversations with you to signal he's bothered by something, in which you always catch on to.

Even though he'd be evidently mad at you, he'd creep on you whilst you're showering or even pleasing yourself for his own contentment. Being a totally proud brat knowing he was able to receive satisfaction from you even if it wasn't consensually direct.

Any little move you do towards Colin will make him a soft boy for you almost instantly. Cannot be mad at you, simply.

You'd make him your little sub al... (it stopped :')

Tate Langdon

Out of control.

Even though Tate would be in utter love with you, unsettling him can and will transform him into a literal monster.

Will go directly towards his leftover white powder, sniffing it uncontrollably to take away all of his distress, to harming you unintentionally.

His mommy issues will automatically expose him infront of you, making him vulnerable and aggressive, taking his anger out on you.

"Tate, im sorry. It was for your good, I promise.." you'd whisper to Tate's now empty faced expression, as your delicate hands reached for his under eyes wiping away his fallen tears softly.

"You're sorry, Y/N? You're sorry for throwing away my pills? You know how much I need them shits." Tate' d respond to you, pure hatred now suited on his angelic face. You would throw away his powered pills from time to time for his benefit. But he's caught you.

"Those pills were the only things that kept me feeling alive Y/N, and your first thought was to throw them away?" he'd question you again, completely outraged as his face kept getting closer and closer to yours searching for any sign of remorse.

"No, Tate. I did the right thing." you'd confidently exhale on his face, producing a steaming slap across yours from your beloved Tate. "What the f–.." before you can finish your confusion you find yourself under a harsh chokehold eliminating your full ability to breath un... (stop here :0)

Kyle Spencer (pre death/after death)

~pre death~

hardly ever got mad at you, but when he did damn..

Kyle being apart of so many clubs along with work made his life a little more difficult than what it should've been.

Of course liberating his anger out on you during sex. In which you honestly didn't really mind as you quite enjoyed aggressive sex.

Some days he'd be rougher than others depending on how his day might've went though.

"Hey babe, how was work today?" you'd ask Kyle as he entered through the main door. "The same as always. Why?" he'd respond emotionlessly. You could tell he was exhausted, that he just wanted to come home, eat, take his anger out on you than later on going to sleep, like he would usually do. But today you've had enough of it.

"Tell me when Kyle. Tell me when you're gonna put the minimum effort into this relationship. " he only gazed at you, "Then you can speak to me." you'd snap at him with pure sincerity, catching him off guard as you stormed into you guys' shared room angrily.

"Come on Y/N. It's really not the time!" he'd yell from the opposite side of you guys' bedroom door, in a gloomy tone fully convincing you to open the now unlocked door.

"You want effort, huh? You'll get effort Y/N." Kyle bursted as he teleported your direction pulling you into a cradled position in one swift move gra... (yeah lets stop there :0)

~after death~

Would get angry for the literal minimum in frustration of not having the adequate knowledge for certain things.

Would literally ravage your breasts to take his anger out, in which you'd give him your full consent for.

"Mommy." Kyle would simply say in between your breasts, unknowingly calling you by another name you haven't yet taught him.

You'd follow his lead by replying "Yes, baby?" provoking his member to shift in his fitted black jeans. You'd notice the effect you'd have on him as he exposed his vulnerable mommy kink to you.

"Keep sucking on mommy, baby you're doing oh, so good." yo... (stop right there)

Warren Lipka

Crazy fucker.

Will literally mentally and physically abuse you with his anger issues.

But you being as crazy as he is would enjoy it, getting sexually aroused by every slap, every scream and every insult that came out of him.

Warren would always be busy planning heists and other weird uniquely original robberies, as you would always occupy yourself by watching him.

His focused gaze on his printed lined paper, turned you on by the second, causing your legs to clench in arousal.

Needing him desperately, you choose to interrupt him, rudely.

"Accidentally" bumping into his elbow, causing his hand to shift lazly on his materpiece, you'd feel his angered gaze rise within him.

"Y/N." Warren simply said your name. "Yes, Warren?" you'd reply teasingly biting your lip turned on more than ever at his bothered expression.

"What did you just call me?" Warren'd ask, his expression becoming more serious by the moment, making your blood rush to your cheeks.

"Daddy. I meant daddy." you'd respond to his question, noticeably turned on by him. He notices this an... (yeah pause here lol)

Kai Anderson (pre cult / after cult)

~pre-cult~

pre cult kai only had eyes for you, and expected the same from you in return.

Extremely overprotective and jelous.

Wouldn't bare the sight of you speaking to another man or even looking at another man's direction.

But incapable of mistreating you in any sort of way, would rarely get mad although, just jelous.

"Who was that guy you was talking to at the parking lot this morning?" Kai would curiously and jelously ask. "What gu– You mean Greg the bus driver!?" you'd chuckle to his jelousy, which you very much admired.

"Oh.." he would sigh, looking up at you as he laid in bed for any signal of forgiveness for his insecurities.

"Its okay, baby. I love you and only you, got that?" you'd contently give him his reassurance breathing in his sigh of relief.

You two would just stare into each other's eyes, Kai's filled with guilt and yours filled with adoration. You would suddenly break the silence during times like these to please him with your mouth, reassuring him even more.

"What are you doi– oh~" Kai would moan to your tongue swirling around his sensitive tip sending shockwaves through his entire body ma... ( yea stop lmao)

~pro-cult~

Buy a wheelchair.

after cult Kai is dangerous. But after cult angry Kai? Vicious.

you would purposely make him mad for him to give you the minimum of attention away from his murder meetings with his pathetic cult.

You'd do the littlest things that you'd know upseted him, such as leaving the door open once you leave, creeping in the cult meetings, leaving the lights on in his basement. But his biggest trigger was him seeing you anywhere near a man, like its always been.

Only that this time Kai wasn't insecure, now he's just a jelous motherfucker who cant stand his queen near another man's presence, so you did exactly that.

"Psst! Yeah you!" you'd silently whisper to one of his male cult members. "You know I cant talk to you, Y/N. Seriously, Kai wouldn't like that." his terrified self would whisper back in fear of his own cult leader. In which you'd honestly be afraid also if you were to be in his position.

"Come on it'll be quick." you'd whisper once again this time pulling him in close by his arm.

"Y/N, I can–" *BANG* a solid headshot bullet went right through his cult partner's head, as his body dropped down to the floor. You'd look over at Kai, his face utterly blank whilst you're shaking in fear, his suddenly only revealing shame and disappointment.

" I'll deal with you in a minute, my queen..."

When Kai'd say this you'd know you wouldn't be able to walk for days as he'd fuck you for hours with no remorse whatsoever overstimulating the fuck out of you al... (you thought lol)

Jimmy Darling

Puts his claws to work for sure.

Will not get mad easily unless you push his buttons or bring up his dad.

Will and does stetch your pussy with his claws, making you scream everytime out of pleasure.

Although whenever you do infuriate him he loses his mind and avoids you to go out drinking.

You'd already memorize his daily routine to catch him backstage right before his shows to please him, provoking a painfully obvious boner to creep through his pants.

Just that this time you intentionally pushed on his buttons, in need of some angry Jim in your life.

He hated when you ignored him so you did exactly that.

Right before his show, you'd walk right past him making his blood rush through his masculinity tond, as he'd later exhale outrageously, overthinking how he'd make things between the both of you an unforgettable experience.

"Remember 69?" Jimmy would raise his voice at you from the other side of the backstage tent, te... (enoughh)

* longer one cuz ya deserved it :) *

Walk Me Home

Summary: Jared is hosting a small dinner party and introduces his new co-star to his old one where they seem to hit it off...

Pairing: Jensen x reader

Square: Quote B “Tell me what I can do to help”

Word Count: 2,600ish

Warnings: language, small accident, mention of smut

A/N: Enjoy! Written for @supernatural-jackles​ Tell Me A Story Bingo!

________

“Hey, sorry I was late,” said a guy ducking in through the front door. You turned your head from where you sat at the counter with Jared, the two of you talking with Gen while they cooked dinner. He smiled when he saw you and you watched the slightly curious look spread across his face. “Hi, I’m Jensen.”

“Y/N,” you said, shaking his hand as he stepped over. 

“Oh wow,” he said, looking past you to Jared. You raised an eyebrow and he shook his head. “Sorry, I’m...frazzled right now. You’re gonna be in Walker, right? Jared’s told me a little about you.”

“Yeah. I’ll be playing Kit, Walker’s kid sister,” you said. “Have some bourbon, relax a little.”

“Bourbon? I like her. She can hang out with us,” said Jensen as he walked around the island, getting a glass from the cabinet like he knew where everything was. “Kid sister huh? How many siblings Walker got anyways?”

“Well, I can’t spoil anything but just the two. Not that I’m getting sister of the year award,” you laughed. Gen was smiling as she worked over a pot and Jared excused himself to help her with something. Jensen used some of the orange peel you’d cut up and put it in his drink and took a long sip. “You like it? I can’t cook so I figured I’d bring some booze and dessert.”

“This is good,” he said. “Really good. I want some for myself. Also, did I hear dessert?”

“I made pull apart pumpkin cinnamon bread. It’s like a cinnamon roll but bigger,” you said.

“You and me are gonna get along great,” he chuckled. He moved around the island and stood on the end just to your right, looking you over quickly. “What have you been in? I’ve not heard of you before.”

“Not much. I did one commercial when I was twenty and I was an extra in a TV show about two years after that. I haven’t had my break through yet. Well, until now. This is...this is huge. I’m kind of terrified to be honest.”

“I worked with him for a very long time,” said Jensen, nodding to the far end of the kitchen. “It’s gonna be a good set, good environment. A few people from our old crew are gonna be working on Walker. You’re gonna fit right in no problem.”

“I hope so,” you said. “Jared’s really been great. He even answered all these questions I had about moving down here and areas and stuff when he didn’t have to. He and Gen have been really amazing. I think I’ll be okay.”

“You’ll be fine. He must like you,” he said.

“Oh I’m just...single and know zero people here,” you said. “I might get a dog? I think my apartment allows them.”

“Well now you know me too,” he smirked, taking a sip. “Or getting to know at the very least.”

“So what were you doing?” you asked. He cocked his head and you smiled. “Being late and all.”

“Who says I was late?” he said, smiling back. “Just frazzled. Also late but mostly frazzled.”

“I’m sorry,” you said.

“Not your fault. My ex was claiming she left something at my house. I was oh so thrilled to see her and her husband there to pick it up,” he said.

“Oh. She moved on fast, huh?”

“She started to see him before we were quite done. He’s an idiot that thinks she’s amazing and he’s richer than me so she’s happy. That’s all she wanted. Wish I’d figured that out in the first place. Glad we never married though,” he said. He shrugged but he didn’t seem too upset by it. He finished off his drink and poured another. “Where are you staying?”

“I’m renting a house just north of the city in some suburb. Jared said there’s nothing to the east and the south ain’t great and I can’t afford west so, north it was,” you said.

“North’s not bad. Your commute shouldn’t be too bad. You got a driver or you taking yourself?”

“Myself. I’m not the star or anything.”

“It doesn’t have to do with that. You work a late night, call an uber. Hell call me. Better than getting in an accident,” he said. “By second season, you’ll be making enough to afford one.”

“Assuming I get on in the second season,” you said. You quickly shut your lips, Jared chuckling to himself.

“Jensen worked for the same company for a long time. Don’t worry about your non-disclosure agreement with him,” said Jared. “Y/N might get killed off at the end of the season. We’re not sure yet.”

“This may or may not have an impact on our friendship,” you said with a laugh.

“Oh, come on, Jare. Look at that face. You really gonna kill her off?” said Jensen, turning you towards Jared. You saw Jensen pout and put on one of your own.

“I told you getting those two together would be a good thing,” said Gen. Jared rolled his eyes but bit his bottom lip.

“The powers at be haven’t made up their minds yet. I’d personally love it but storyline might get changed which I’m okay with. If fans love you, I’ll get my way,” said Jared. “You guys want to head out to the patio? We’re almost done cooking.”

“We can help,” you said, Jared shaking his head.

“We got it,” he said. You shrugged and followed Jensen out a back door to a covered patio area and took a seat at the table.

“He’s up to something,” chuckled Jensen. “Not sure what yet.”

“They’re just playing good host,” you said.

“Nah, those two are scheming. I can tell,” he teased. He took the seat beside you and leaned back in his chair.

“You check me out a lot,” you said. He quickly looked at his glass and made a small shrugging motion. “You like me?”

“I don’t know. I barely know you,” he said, still averting your gaze. 

“I didn’t mean to make you shy. I’m not opposed to you checking me out. I just wasn’t expecting it. I heard you were dating someone,” you said.

“Rumor. Put it out there so people would leave me alone,” he said. “I’m not shy around you either, you know.”

“Alright.”

“At first I am with most people. I mean, I can act like the life of the party and like the coolest guy in the room.”

“Act would be the key word there,” you said, taking a sip from your glass.

“Yeah well, most people put up some kind of front with strangers or people they don’t know that well.”

“Very true. I do it myself,” you said.

“So like I said, I ain’t shy.”

“Like I said, shy boy is attracted to me. When the confident boy that is really a shy boy is interested, laid back girl will become confident flirty girl very quickly if you understand,” you said.

“Are you saying you’re attracted to me?”

“Yeah,” you said. “Considering you’re attracted to me, I don’t see how this is a problem.”

“You are something else,” he said, some of his confidence returning.

“Yes I-” you said, Jared walking out with his phone to his ear. He looked worried and you both put your full attention on him.

“Shep just fell. He and Tom were jumping off the bunk bed and…” said Jared. “Looks like he might have broken his arm.”

“Is he okay?” you asked, Jensen echoing the sentiment. 

“Yeah. We just…”

“Tell me what I can do to help,” you said.

“Everybody relax,” said Jensen as he stood up. “You guys take Shep to get taken care of. Y/N and I will watch the other munchkins.”

“Thanks,” he said. “Dinner’s in the pot on the stove. Eat it up. No need to waste it.”

“Text us to let us know how it goes,” you said.

“Sure thing. I owe you guys one,” he said.

“No, you don’t. Go,” said Jensen. You both ducked back inside and five minutes later they were gone. Tom was feeling pretty bad about what happened but Jensen gave him a talk and put him to bed while you packed away some leftovers for Jared and Gen.

“How’s he doing?” you asked, sticking the tupperware in the fridge.

“He’ll be alright. Wasn’t his fault. They were just being kids,” he said. He helped you find the plates and you dished yourself up the rest of the food, eating at the kitchen counter quietly. “That was nice of you, to be so concerned.”

“They’ve been nothing but kind to me. Besides, it’s a kid,” you said. “I don’t mind staying.”

“You don’t have to. They’re both fast asleep. I can stay until they get back.”

“I said I’d stay. I’m gonna stay,” you said. He licked his lips and hummed, cleaning up his plate before you.

“Say you had a point earlier. I’m not saying you did but hypothetically speaking,” he said.

“Go on.”

“Say my frazzledness was because when I saw you, my head sort of short-circuited, hypothetically.”

“Hypothetically,” you said, finishing with your food.

“Say that happened and say you were good with that, happy about that...where exactly would this go seeing as I hypothetically have never been the hook up guy. Never actually done it but I’m now questioning it for the first time. Hypothetically, what’d your response to that be?”

“Well, if that were the case,” you said as you took your plate and put it in the dishwasher, “I would tell you not to hookup with me simply for the fact that sex for you is very likely part of being in a relationship and something you do when you feel comfortable with a person which I completely respect and understand. I wouldn’t want you to change how you treat sex just for me. Hypothetically.”

“But what if I said I’d never felt that kind of attraction to anyone before, at any stage in a relationship, not to that level. Not that floor you kind of overwhelming sensation.”

“I would tell you the attraction is reciprocated and while I would very much like to see what you are capable of and what we’re capable of doing together, I would tell you that you’re not the hookup guy and you’re not about to start being one. You should continue to have sex with your romantic partners and that’s all. It means more to you. A hookup will leave a sour taste in your mouth and I’d rather we don’t think of each other like that seeing as we’ll likely be spending more time together.”

“It’s not just physical you know. It’s that, it’s that logic and that kindness and compassion.”

“I get it. I would. I really, really would. But I’m breaking your record. I don’t want to be the girl that breaks that record, Jensen.”

“If we dated though, that’s different.”

“I don’t date to get sex.”

“Neither do I.”

“So you want to date?” you asked. He leaned back against the counter and smiled to himself. “It’s an easy question.”

“I wanted to date you the second I saw you but that comes off as a little strong,” he said. 

“I personally believe it’s important that people click when it comes to dating and relationships,” you said.

“So is there a click?” he asked. You walked in front of him and smiled, bringing your lips just an inch away from his. 

“There’s a click but there’s got to be something else,” you said, Jensen’s lips parting. “After my last failed relationship and it sounds like yours too, it’s important.”

“What’s that?” he asked quietly, not moving an inch.

“I want to be friends with my next boyfriend, someday when I find whoever I’m gonna be with. It’s always miserable when you’re not friends,” you said.

“Who says you didn’t just meet your best friend for the rest of your life tonight,” he said.

“Now that’s a strong statement,” you said.

“It is. I don’t like the sentiment though that there’s gonna be a somebody else after me. I’m not filling time with this,” he said.

“Neither am I,” you said.

“Good,” he said. He leaned in a hair closer and his lips tugged up into a grin. “I’m going to heat up that pumpkin roll you brought and then play video games while not kissing you. I’d be very happy if you joined in.”

“Tease,” you said. You took a step back and went to the container you brought. “Can you preheat the oven for me?”

“Sure thing,” he said. “It looks amazing.”

“It’s not the only thing,” you said, flashing him a wink.

“I see how it’s gonna go.”

“You started it,” you said.

“Yes, yes I did. Now how high do you need it?”

Four Hours Later

“Thanks again guys,” said Jared as you and Jensen stepped outside.

“It was no problem. We saved dinner and dessert for you guys in the fridge,” said Jensen. 

“I’ll make something for Shep and drop it by. He like chocolate?” you asked.

“Yeah, he loves it. You really don’t have-”

“Jared, like Jensen said, it’s all good. We’ll see you,” you said.

“Alright, alright,” he said. “Tell me when you two get together.”

“Already late on that one,” said Jensen with a smirk. “I’ll tell you tomorrow.”

“You better. Night guys. And take her home like a gentleman,” said Jared.

“Yeah, yeah. Night,” said Jensen. Jared locked up and you wandered over to your car, Jensen smiling as he stood by his truck. “So I guess this is good night.”

“It could be a good night,” you said as you started to yawn. “Maybe tomorrow though.”

“Tomorrow maybe,” he smirked. “Text me when you get home.”

“Why?”

“Cause I worry about my friends,” he said. “Please?”

“Alright. So...tomorrow…”

“Tomorrow night,” he said. “Maybe I can cook you dinner. Bring a bathing suit, we could go for a dip in the pool maybe.”

“Maybe,” you smirked back. “I’ll see you tomorrow Jensen.”

“You too. Oh and Y/N? Might want to sleep in tomorrow.”

“Why?”

“I got a feeling you’re gonna be up late tomorrow night,” he said, winking at you.

“Oh really? We’ll have to see how a good a cook you are first.”

“I guess we will. Drive safe, Y/N,” he said, voice soft and sweet.

“You too, Jensen. You too.”

_______

Plot: Kit Walker never came back from the abduction of him and Alma, the extra-terrestrials kept him until they were done with the man. In the year 2000 Kit gets taken back to Earth in a time era he is unaware off, he’s just as confused as the person who finds him in the woods.

Kit Walker x GN!Reader

Wordcount: 1941

Tags: @kitwalker02 - Message me or comment below if you want to be added

Key:

Italics - Flashbacks

Bold Italics - Aliens speaking

1964

Kit lay on the bed smoking his cigarette as he looked up at the ceiling, only in his white briefs he couldn’t help but grin slightly at the events prior. It wasn’t the first time him and Alma had made love, in fact it was the second time today they had sex as this morning they fucked before he went to work. Moving so he was sitting on the edge of the bed, he put out his cigarette in the small tray on his bedside table, a clattering soon got Kit up onto his feet.

‘’Alma?’’ He maneuvered quickly to put his jeans on and shirt on before walking out into the living room, she was nowhere to be found. Quietly moving, Kit grabbed the gun he kept under a weak floorboard, he did this so no one would find it but he had to keep his wife protected somehow. The air was cold as Kit walked outside barefooted, not even bothering to put on shoes since he was more concerned on where Alma was, she couldn’t have gone far. ‘’Okay this isn’t funny darlin’!’’

Silence. The fear that something had happened to her had started to set in on Kit’s mind, he didn’t want to shoot into the darkness just in case she was playing a prank on him and the bullet accidentally went into her. As soon as Kit stepped inside the house the entire room was filled with a bright light and everything flew up onto the ceiling, including himself.

“Alma!” Kit screamed out loudly before putting his hands to his ears at the loud ringing in his ears, it was like something you’d use on a dog for it to stop misbehaving, he felt like electricity was being shocked all through his body before everything around him turned white and he was suddenly laid on his back on a cold, metal surface. “Alma..?”

Looking over at his wife she was completely naked as was he, but she was unconscious and no matter how hard he tried to reach her she seemed to get further away from him. “Alma.. please wake up!” Tears were streaming down Kit’s face as his voice cracked, his nose was running from how hard he was crying, the fear was getting worse the longer he lay upon the metal surface. Hearing noises around him soon turned Kit ridgid, it was mumbling in a language he didn’t understand.

His head was beating like a drum, it was as if someone had punctured right through his skull but he wouldn’t put it past these creatures if they did. The mumbling got louder and so did the ringing in his ears, screaming out even louder Kit could’ve sworn his ears were bleeding from the pain he was currently feeling it, he just wanted it all to end.

‘’I think it’s time’’ The moment that left the aliens lips, the sentence unknown to Kit, the surroundings went a blinding white before Alma found herself back in the living room that she called home. Quickly standing up she looked around for any sign of her husband. With her whole body shaking she made her way outside hoping he would be out there, crying out for Kit, but all she got was a beam of light like a fallen star flying across the sky before disappearing.

“Kit..”

2000

You were used to people shutting down your claims of what you believed to have happened that evening. You remembered it like it was yesterday but due to you being a child when the event had happened, people just put it down your brain creating false memories to protect you from what actually happened to your mother. The officer in front of you was the same as all the others, he felt sorry for you so he never shuts you down when you tried to explain to him about the ‘abduction’, but he had to soon stop you since you were getting stares from people passing by.

‘’Y/N stop this.. we’ve been through this dozens of times’’ Huffing heavily you shook your head, a look of disappointment on your face when he said that to you. Staring the officer in the eyes you couldn’t help but narrow your eyes at him, he always seemed to cut you off as soon as people started staring but you believed people of this town deserved to know. Of course you’ve gotten called everything under the sun.

‘’You should be put in a mental hospital! You’re turning into Julia’s mother, Alma, God rest her soul’’ You knew that voice all too well, she was the gossip of the town Mrs Wilkins and she had a face like a toad, and the perfume she wore wasn’t exactly being kind to your nose either. Feeling the annoyance and anger within you, you decided to stand up for yourself and the officer knew the look in your eyes all too well, but it was too late to even stop you before you spoke with a harsh tone towards her.

‘’Shouldn’t you be getting a new mirror, considering your face made the last one crack!” You quickly got pulled away by the officer before the woman you had now offended could speak another word,

“Go home Y/N! It’s getting late for a woman of your age to be out anyway..” He always used that excuse with you, being a girl of eighteen had more downs than ups, you sometimes wondered why everyone who was young couldn’t wait to turn eighteen, you frankly wanted to go back to being a kid again. “It’s six thirty, I can drive you home if you want?”

Shaking your head but staying silent you put your left foot in front of the other and started walking down the now lit street, the streets lights automatically came on around this time and you knew that your father was going to kill you for being out. It wasn’t even late yet they panicked if you weren’t in the house by five in the evening. Since your mothers ‘disappeared’ he hasn’t wanted the same to happen to you due to being the only thing left of her.

Sitting in front of the television watching your evening program your parents always let you watch before bed, you could hear them arguing like they did every day. The comfort of the teddy bears on the screen is all you had at the age of six, you held onto your stuffed bunny as you tried to drown out the shouting from the next room.

“I know they aren’t my kid you cheating whore!’’ You didn’t even understand what the words even meant at that point in your life, but you knew that they weren’t nice onces just from the tone of your father. Slowly turning around once you heard the door open you stared up at him with your glassy and wide eyes, his face turned soft once he looked at you. You were the innocent one in all of this, your mother wouldn’t admit to you not being your fathers even if it was the truth. Watching his every move until he was out of the front door, your mother was the next one to walk out.

“Come on you, let’s get you ready for bed” She acted as if that argument had never happened as she scooped you into her arms, the moment you wrapped your arms around her neck the ringing in both of your ears started. Her grip on you tightened in that moment and all you remembered was the blinding white light and the ringing. Your memory had gotten rid of the both of you going upwards to the ceiling and the details of the abduction. It was as if something didn’t want you to remember what happened that night. But part of you knew what had happened even if you couldn’t remember most of it. That’s what drove you insane.

Looking down at the watch on your wrist it read ‘7:00pm’, you were in for one hell of a lecture so you decided to take a short cut down the forest. You didn’t like the dark as it was but you knew if you took the long route it would be another hour till you got home. You wished you had taken those driving lessons from your father when he offered you them months ago. You would’ve been home by now if you had a car.

‘’I should’ve taken Officer Carter’s offer of a drive home..’’ You often talked to yourself in times off stress and annoyance but you didn’t want to rely on a man to help you with all your issues, even if it was as little as having no driving licence yet.

The snap of a twig caught your attention and goosebumps formed on your skin out of fear. Someone else was out in these woods. Taking slow steps, you made sure to pay close attention to every sound no matter how little it was. You didn’t know if this person was dangerous and you weren’t taking the risk of being kind if they decided to show themselves.

You made your way over to a bank in the forest, thanking god that you had even got this far without coming across the person that seemed to be in here with you, sliding down the bank your eyes caught side of a shadowy figure inbetween two trees. Your eyes didn’t leave the figure but the air got caught in your throat once you saw it run towards you. It’s arms reaching out for you as you fall on the bank floor due to trying to run backwards. Stupid.

‘’Please you need to help me!’’ The moonlight shone down on the figure as it quickly kneeled down beside you. Themale looked scared and you couldn’t help but go wide eyed due to him being in just a pair of boxer shorts. “I-I’m sorry I scared you, but I really need your help!”

“Okay! Okay! Just calm down..” The man in front of you took a few deep breaths once that left your mouth, him thanking you over and over again for your kindness to a stranger. “Just tell me who you are..”

“I’m going to sound crazy, I was taken by these things. I don’t remember much..”

“What’s your name..?” Your voice was timid and quiet but it was enough for the man in front of you to hear. He kept looking up at the sky then back at you and in that moment you knew what he was afraid off. Your mind wandered but in a good way, what if this man had experienced the same thing your mother had done in 1988? Or was he another homeless man looking for a home but pulling the heartstrings of a woman? You didn’t know but you believe the first question that was circling through your mind.

“Kit.. Kit Walker'' Your eyebrows furrowed once he told you his name. You recognised it from somewhere. Your brain was doing overtime trying to figure out where you had heard that name before, the last name you knew all too well. your neighbour, Julia, had the same last name and you thought she had mentioned a distant relative of some sort.

Maybe this was him? The next sentence he said gave it all away on who this man was. “You need to help me find my wife.. Alma..”

The sentence from Mrs Wilkins rang in your head like a bell ‘You’re turning into Julia’s mother Alma’

Maybe she wasn’t so crazy after all.

better with you

summary: kit’s the first person since the reader arrived at the asylum who really made her feel something.

pairing: kit walker x reader

word count: 733 words

warnings: female reader, asylum, ahs, mentions of reader briefly being in an unhappy marriage, first time writing kit walker, possibilities of ooc? but not in my opinion, i guess

author’s notes: dfladskj i couldn’t think of anything else to write and then i started with the first sentence and it went from there.  but i’m actually pretty happy with how it turned out. 

He made you feel alive again, and that was the first time that had happened since you were put in the asylum.  

You had been sent to the asylum, two years into a loveless marriage.  You had been forced into it by your parents, so you would be able to support them with the money from your husband.  But then, things changed.  Your parents died, and then your husband, after finding someone he really wanted to marry, sent you to the asylum, claiming that you were “insane” and then filed for divorce, in that order.  This way, he didn’t have to worry about you taking anything that didn’t “belong” to you.  

You’ve been in the asylum, since.  You stayed away from Sister Jude, and you were quite terrified of doing anything to cause trouble.  You knew Doctor Arden was quite terrible, and some of the inmates were as well.  

But Kit.  When he first arrived, you weren’t sure what to expect.  The man known as Bloody Face coming to the insane asylum?  Where several insane women, let alone you, were placed?  However, you overheard him with Grace—one of the only other people you truly trusted in the institution.  You believed him.  You didn’t know what prompted you to believe him, but you did it anyway.  

And from that point on, you talked with the two of them.  You interjected when needed, and at times, you began the conversations with them and they thoroughly seemed to enjoy talking to you.  

You knew you enjoyed getting to talk to Kit Walker.

He was nice, and he always knew just what to say.  And his opinions lined up nicely with yours.  You two were a good match—maybe that’s what made you fall for him in the first place.  Of course, who could blame you?  He was attractive, he was generally pleasant, and he had goals (of course, currently, his goal was to prove that he wasn’t insane or a killer, but he had goals).  

Maybe that’s what made you nervously wait in the common room, sitting on an armchair with your legs tucked underneath you.  You fiddled with your hands, keeping your eyes trained on the doors.  

Grace reached over, placing a hand over top of yours.  She gave you a knowing smile.  “He’s fine.  You should tell him, though.  It’s getting quite obvious, [Your name].”

You blushed darkly, rolling your eyes.  

Grace stood to go and talk to Lana, the reporter than Kit and Grace often talked to in secrecy, as the doors to the room opened.  Kit came strolling in, spotting you immediately.  He smiled in your direction and came over, sitting across from you.  

His smile fell as he sat down.  “Are you okay?  You look nervous... Something happen?”

You shook your head, pursing your lips.  “I... I know about your plan.  To escape,” you whispered, getting close to him so no one else would hear.  “I want to come with you.  I know the more people the harder it is, but I... I can’t stay here any more.”

He chuckled softly.  “I wouldn’t mind if you came with us.  And how do you—”

“Grace.”

He rolled his eyes, smiling a bit.  “Of course.  But why wouldn’t you just assume you’d come along anyway?” he asked, licking his lips as he sat back in his chair.  

You furrowed your eyebrows.  “What?”

His smile never left.  “We were always going to bring you along.  We just hadn’t decided anything else for it.” 

“Who—“

“—I suggested it.  I can’t... I couldn’t live with myself knowing you’d be in here alone.”

You began to blush, sitting your hands in your lap.  “Well, I appreciate it, Kit.  More than you realize.”

He grinned, chuckling softly.  “Yeah, yeah.”

“I’m serious, Kit.  I... I like you, Kit.  And I don’t know how you feel, but I need you to know before we get out of here.  Just... in case anything happens.”

His grin turned into a full blown smile and he leaned over, resting his elbows on his knees.  “Really?”

You blushed, but just nodded in return.  There wasn’t much else that you could say in response to him.  

“Well, good, ‘cause I like you, too, [Your name].”

Your heart pounded in your chest, but that’s what started all of this; he made you feel alive again.  And your beating heart was proof that you were capable of living.  

everytime I re-watch season 2 of ahs I have to get immediately disappointed by the Adam Levine scenes like I always forget they are there 😭😭😭 fr my least favorite part of that season....

Kit went to Betrayal

And first off, let me say Thank You. To every single one of you who reached out, shared my desperate pleas for assistance, contributed to the funds or cheered me on. I legit couldn’t have done this without every single one of you. And you all have made this a truly one of a kind birthday. Thank you to @nuggsmum, @winterisakiller, @nonsensicalobsessions, @alexakeyloveloki, @theluckykittencalvin just to name a few. Seriously, thank you everyone! 

Below the cut is more birthday ramblings from the Atlanta GA airport since my 3 hour layover just turned into a 4.5 hour layover. But I found food and power so all is good. 

There was some sadness- I didn’t spend it with my daughter this year or my husband. But I did get to spend it with the awesome @winterisakiller, talking shop and clutching coffee. I got to meet the ever lovely @nonsensicalobsessions and tease her in person with all that she doesn’t know about Winter’s upcoming Glass Slipper series and about Dust. The look on her face when I forgot that *everyone* dies in the beginning of Dust and so I offered as a hint for the ending- “Someone dies” was truly priceless. I *though* I was giving a hint but yeah- yeah, you’re right- that’s not news. 

First off. I flew into Newark, NJ because like- it’s SO MUCH CHEAPER to fly into that airport and hotels are cheaper. It was a redeye flight and I only slept a few hours. Oh- and I hadn’t eaten since 10am that day. Great planning, right? I planned everything. What I didn’t count on was a 3 hour paralysis leaving the airport thanks to Anxiety. Fuck you, anxiety and fuck you NJTransit. 

After 3 hours I finally found a customer assistance phone number to figure out how many ‘zones’ to buy bus fare for. In the 3 hours I DID manage to find the bus stop, find what route I needed and even download the app! But the zones? HA! Fuck YOU NJTransit. Your FAQ and bus info sheets should REALLY not assume people know what the fuck a “zone is”

So! I get on the bus- 3 hours and one egg roll later. Google maps in hand (I’ve sold my soul and data to goggle, now PLEASE don’t get me lost). I watch and there are something like 30!! STOPS!! Before mine? The fuck?! 

So my stop comes up and I press the stop request button. And nothing happens. Bye stop, it was nice seeing you. 3 stops later I find a part of the strip that works and my 7 minute walk to the hotel became a 14 minute walk. 

And the 14 minute walk became a 20 minute walk because even with google maps *this bitch* got lost. Fuck you google, I trusted you. 

I check in and it’s cold in the room. but the heater says it’s 75 in there? Fuck whatever, I jacked that shit up to 90 and stood there. Kit’s from Alaska. Kit still gets bitchy when cold and it was something like 33f out. At least I had my arctic coat from AK. But this bitch didn’t have a hat or gloves. 

Anyway, I thaw and look around the room. Overall, can’t complain. It was dated as fuck, the tile was old, cracked and poorly laid and the floor was so uneven that it was a tripping hazard. I can say that because... I tripped. Oh- and it had a like 1980��s porno jetted tub in it. No joke. It was shaped like a heart. 

I loved that tub. I wrote in that tub. I watched Endgame (again) in that tub. 

So! I walked to McDonald’s, getting lost once on the way and basically go back to the hotel to become a boiled potato in the jetted tub. It was red, I didn’t have to worry about my hair staining it. 

Morning comes and my 6am alarm comes... and goes. Oops. Slept through hotel breakfast and woke up at 9. I proceeded to spend all morning agonizing over the NJTransit system and ZONES (seriously- fuck zones) and eventually after soothing my vanity and getting dolled up, made my way to the bus stop. 

I’ll have you know, I did NOT get lost. 

$7 in bus fare later and I was on a bus to NYC. For like 3 minutes. Because the driver hit something (someone?) and we all had to get off. And so I stood with the people who looked like they knew what the fuck was going on. Do I get on another bus? Do they send another bus? Do I have to pay again? FUCK IF I KNEW. And poor winter is getting like, live updates of this. Because if I get killed in NJ I wanted someone to know, I guess? lol ANYWAY! The driver yells at the dude, The dude yells at the driver. She yells more. He leaves. She tells us to get back on the bus. And so we did. That was a thing. 

Speaking of- why is everyone always honking? And I’ve never been almost hit by so many cars? And everyone acts like the cross walks, street lights and walk signs are all optional? And EVERYONE is honking?! And when they are not honking, they are yelling. Why y’all so angry? 

Biiiig city is big. Want to watch Kit shut down fast? Pretty much anyone walking by the port authority bus terminal at like 1pm got to see Kit walk out the doors, look around and find the closest wall to fight panic off at. Because IT’S BIG. AND TALL. AND PEOPLE ARE EVERYWHERE. I HAVE CROWD ANXIETY. 

So I stood there. In the cold. For 15 minutes then said FUCK IT and pulled up Google map’s and to the theater I went. And I found it! Without getting lost. Next up was more McDonald's since I again hadn’t eaten in for fucking ever. Notice something I’m good at? It’s forgetting I’m not a plant and this have to actually eat. But at least in NYC no one is trying to hit me. I haven’t been in a walking city since Anchorage, AK and it was nice to have walkers rule the world. 

Charged up my phone and went walking. Got coffee. Walked more. Met up with Winter. Got more coffee. Talked writing. Met up with Nonsensical. And into the theater we went at 6:30. 

Remember how I said 2nd row? Yeah no, seats 1-100 on the seating map didn’t actually exist in reality. Front fucking row, center stage. At times, when men were sitting right in front of me, I had to remind myself what parts of them was socially acceptable to stare at. 

The play was amazing. And powerful. And funny. And there really isn’t anything I can say that hasn’t been said before. 

After the play, we chilled waiting for stage door for 90 minutes. Legit, chilled- it was cold and trying to rain and the three of us got separated. But I got a taste of the star life when I ran into @led-lite who recognized me from here! (Whaaat?!) Check out her art- it’s fucking amazing. And while they didn’t end up doing stage door, it was so cool to just hang out and chat for a good while. Thanks for being a part of my Birthday!

We went back to Winter’s hotel so I could charge my phone up and hang out for a bit. I finally got the pillow case she got for me in London! It’s so cute! It has foxes- I can’t WAIT to show some of my gaming buddies who will just GROAN because I don’t need more fox shit. But it’s going to live in the living room with all my other foxes. And Nonsensical gave me candy canes. She doesn’t know this but candy canes are one of my favorite candies!!

And back to the hotel I went. I didn’t get lost and was only mildly anxious finding my way back to the bus terminal and with the help of a lovely random local that pegged me as a visitor in record time (legit- I didn’t even have TIME to try and figure it out myself!), I figured out what gate my bus was going to load at. It oddly enough works much like airports! Only without the security. Who would have thought?

I didn’t miss my stop but the bus had standing room only. I think I pulled something in my leg because like, I was holding on for dear life as it whipped me around. Everyone else acted like it was normal though so I braved it and tried so very hard not to be thrown into another person. I didn’t miss my stop this time! And I didn’t get lost! Look at me, adjusting!

I passed the fuck out. So hard. I got up at 6, said fuck it, got up at 9 and packed and to the bus stop for the airport I went. 

Look at me using local public transport like a boss. And at the airport I discovered that in NJ if you don’t eat before going to the airport and you’re not ready to drop $15-20 on food- they would like you to kindly fuck off and starve. At least once you’ve gone through security. 

Annnnd now we’re here. And I’m in Atlanta. And my flight just got delayed. But at least fucking ATLANTA HAS FAST FOOD. 

All in all, it’s been a amazing trip. I had a blast and I wish I Had more time. But it was perfect because I got a taste and someday, when I come back (because I totally want to come back) I’ll be much better prepared since it won’t all be new. 

also. FUCK NJTRANSIT.

A not-so-quiet life Pt.12

Summary: You could say your life at the Greene’s farm after they took you in was a quiet one… as quiet as it could be considering corpses were walking around as flesh-eating monsters. At least, until a group of survivors in need take shelter in the farm.

Inspired by the request: The reader used to have an emotionally and physically abusive ex and the group runs into her ex and his group and shit hits the fan and the reader gets hurt.

Pairing: Daryl Dixon x Reader

Tags/Warnings: Violence and language typical twd style. Mentions of abuse and quite a lot of self-deprecating thoughts…and in the midst of all that, quite a lot of fluff too and also slow burn.

Chapter: 12/13

Masterlist

I don’t need to remind you what happened in last chapter right? Let’s see how the reader is doing in the aftermath...

-

You’d fallen asleep on Maggie after exhausting yourself crying and when you woke up you realized the group had spent most of the night driving. It was still dark outside but you could see how the sky was beginning to clear.

A new day.

You surveyed your state. Your head was killing you, your wounds itched and your ankle shot waves of pain through your leg when you moved it, but you could be much worse.

Beth had fallen asleep too, head on your lap as she curled up on the other seat, and both of you had poor Maggie squished against the window.

“Morning,” Maggie said quietly. “Are you feeling better?”

“Yeah,” you said, not wanting her to worry too much, but truth be told you didn’t know how you were feeling. “Where’re are we?”

“In the middle of nowhere. Big surprise, right?” Maggie chuckled softly. “We’re just stopping for a bit so we can rest.”

“Alright.”

You looked around and saw Glenn was asleep on the driver’s seat. Through the window, you could see Rick and Hershel at one side, talking. Daryl was at the other side, fumbling with some arrows. You couldn’t see anyone else and you guessed they were on the cars, sleeping.

“I think I’m going to get some air.” You told Maggie, wanting to go see Daryl.

“Okay, I’m gonna try to sleep a couple hours. Go see my father, he wanted to check on you.”

Carefully, you tried to lift Beth’s head off your lap without waking her up, but didn’t manage it and the girl blinked as she looked around drowsily, mumbling some nonsense. As soon as you clumsily changed seats with Maggie, Beth curled up to her sister and fell asleep again.

Limping slowly, you made your way to Daryl. When he noticed you he got up and approached you so you’d stop trying to walk, but his eyes didn’t quite meet you.

“You should be resting.”

“I’ve rested.” You replied, shrugging. “Are you okay?”

Daryl looked at you at that for a second before he dropped his gaze down again, scoffing.

“I should be the one asking you that.”

“I’m okay…I will be.” You had to say yourself that, and after everything that had happened, you didn’t want to worry anyone more.

Daryl just nodded at that, eyes still trained on the ground.

“I’m gonna go hunting.” He muttered. “Go see Hershel.”

With that, he turned around and went to the woods. You watched him go, noticing something was off with him but you didn’t really know what. You guessed it was normal, after everything you all had gone through just yesterday.

If you were honest, when you’d approached him you’d wished he’d have held you close or something like that but being realistic you knew you’d have to wait until the night for something like that. Still, you hadn’t expected him to be so…you didn’t know what, distant maybe.

With a sigh, you decided to let it go and stop overthinking it, sure that your brain would play tricks on you. Hershel and Rick were walking towards you and so you limped to them.

“You should be sitting down, Y/N.” Hershel told you and you almost rolled your eyes at him telling you to rest just like Daryl, but you smiled fondly, thankful for their concern.

“I’m okay.” You assured. “It doesn’t hurt too bad, I can handle it.”

“I have to check you anyway, I don’t like how that wound on your forehead looks and you might have a concussion. Not to mention that ankle.”

“In a minute,” you said before turning to Rick. “Hey…I’m really sorry that place didn’t work out…I know how much you want us to have a place to settle down, I want it too…”

“It wasn’t your fault.” Rick reached out to squeeze your shoulder. “I…em…I’m sorry this happened to you…all this…” He seemed a bit loss of words, as if he weren’t sure of what to say, but you got the sentiment. You knew he worried.

“That wasn’t your fault, either.”

“Then maybe we should stop taking blame for things that aren’t our fault.” Hershel intervened. “Now, come on, Y/N.”

“Alright, alright, I’m going!” You chuckled softly, taking the arm Hershel was offering you.

“Are you sure you are okay?” Rick asked before you left.

“I’m going to be.” You replied with as much confidence as you could muster.

*

Hershel deemed your ankle sprained but on the mend. He wasn’t sure about you having a concussion or not but you seemed to be okay enough and the wound on your forehead wasn’t as bad as he had thought at first, but you needed to keep it and the cut in your lip as clean as possible so they wouldn’t infect. Luckily, you still had your first aid kit with you.

While everyone did things, pacing around the perimeter, inspecting the area to try and find a place to stay, you could do nothing more than sat down on the ground looking at everyone coming and going, your ankle and everyone’s concern about it preventing you from helping them.

Lori was sat down too, reading inside one of the cars. You had tried to read for a bit but your mind had started to wander and you couldn’t even focus long enough to look at the pictures of the magazine you had on your lap.

“T-Dog, hey!” You called when he walked by. “Will you pass me that thing to sharpen knives?”

T-Dog looked at you weird but nodded, and soon you were trying to sharpen your machete. You had never done it, though, probably you should ask Daryl or Maggie to teach you. Somehow, your eyes landed on your wedding band…you had forgotten about it again.

You swallowed hard and rubbed at your eyes furiously when you felt tears on them. No. You weren’t going to cry over him, he wasn’t going to make you cry ever again. You yanked the ring off your finger and threw it away towards the woods as hard as you could.

It didn’t fall far, though, just a few meters away, it didn’t even give you the satisfaction of disappearing into the woods. You contemplated going to take it and throw it away further, but you decided against it…you didn’t want to give it any more thought, you just wanted to forget it.

“Did you know that you're really sad at throwing?” Carol said, stopping in front of you.

“Shut it…” You couldn’t help but snort at her words.

Carol smiled and sat down next to you.

“How’re you? Truly.”

“I…I don’t know. I feel okay and then I don’t.  I’m just…” You shrugged helplessly. “I think that I’m doing okay and suddenly everything comes back to me and I see him, and I can’t breathe, and I feel like throwing up and I feel like I’m going to faint, and…” Just venting like that was making you feel light headed and you began to pant.

“Hey, hey, Y/N…” Carol shushed you gently. “Stop it. Breathe.”

You tried, taking deep breaths until you managed to calm down.

“I can’t stop seeing him, his body, after I…” You tailed off, swallowing hard. “I killed him…I killed my own husband. And I killed another man. I just killed them.”

“They had it coming, you know it, you know how they were. They would have killed us. Look at what he did to you. You had to do it…stop beating yourself about it”

You nodded at Carol words, but they couldn’t really make you feel better, not yet. Carol seemed to notice. She let out a sigh and leaned over to plant a kiss on your forehead. You smiled gratefully and rubbed at your wet eyes.

“Have you talked with Daryl?” You asked her after a moment of silence, when you started feeling better. “I feel there’s something off with him.”

“He’s…he’s being Daryl.” Carol answered, which didn’t really tell you that much. “Give him a bit of time, we all went through something yesterday. You the most.”

You said nothing to that. You felt partially guilty about what had happened, since your husband had been one of the men involved, if someone’d been hurt you couldn’t forgive yourself. You knew it didn’t make much sense, the men would have done that to you whether you were there or not, probably your family hadn’t been the first they had hunted. But you couldn’t help yourself.

Rick and Glenn had gone scouting through the woods and came back bringing news about a cabin they had found further into the woods. There had been some walkers around but they had cleared them, though they thought there probably were more inside, but it was worth a shot, see if you could clear it and finally have a place to stay. You have to wait for Daryl to come back before leaving, though.

Daryl didn’t come back until a bit later, bringing a few squirrels with him, but what caught your eye was the amount of blood, walker’s blood you guessed, that had splashed over his clothes, his face, his hands…

You gasped aloud and jumped onto your feet, ready to run to him but groaning and stumbling when you put weight onto your sprained ankle, and Carol rushed to help you stay up.

“What happened?” Rick asked Daryl, eyeing him with concern.

“Found some  walkers out there,” Daryl said as nothing. “Put them down. We should leave, though, saw some more coming.”

“We found a cabin, not too far,” Rick informed, still looking at Daryl weird but not asking anything else. “Cleared the surroundings but we need to clear the interior. We should get going.”

“Ain’t safe, told you, there’s still walkers around,” Daryl said and Rick’s face fell even more. “Maybe we could stay for the night…” He added as if noticing how down Rick was feeling. “But we have to leave tomorrow.”

“Okay, okay…one night, that’s enough, we’ll find something else tomorrow. Let’s go before we lose the light.”

You had to admire Rick’s efforts to not give up, to keep you all going.

You all drove your vehicles as close as possible to the cabin until the trees didn’t let you go closer. You stayed in the car with Lori, Beth, Hershel, and a grumpy Carl while the others went to clear the walkers from inside the cabin.

Once they were done and you saw them getting ride of the walkers, you thought those had been probably people who had taken refuge inside the cabin, as you wanted to, but had ended up dying there somehow. You didn’t want to think much about it, though.

When that was taken care of, they came back to take all the stuff you might need from the cars. You got out of the car, wondering if you’d be able to carry your backpack, but before you could take it Daryl did.

“Thanks.” You said quietly, still feeling like something was off.

Daryl didn’t say anything but wrapped his arm around you to help you walk. First he went to his bike, taking his bag and the string of squirrels, and then he began slowly walking you both to the cabin.

“You brought us dinner once again.” You said, you hadn’t felt that awkward at trying to talk with Daryl in a long while.

“It ain’t like those squirrels are gonna feed us much.” He grumbled.

“Hey, it’s more than nothing.” You reminded him, looking at him, his face still splashed in walkers’ blood. The idea of him going recklessly against a bunch of them scared you, but you knew better than to say anything, at least not with him this closed off. “You look like such a mess.” You just teased softly.

Once you reached the cabin he let go of you but you hated to feel this distant with him. You knew he wasn’t doing okay, though you weren’t sure of what was really in his mind, but you couldn’t find words to ask. Instead, you leaned towards him to kiss his cheek.

Daryl didn’t let you, pulling back, and you looked down, trying to hide how it hurt you. He noticed, though.

“I’m all covered in that shit, you said it, you have these open wounds, you gotta be more careful so they don’t infect.”

He reminded you, you hadn’t even thought about it. He was right, but that didn’t mean you didn’t feel something was off, like he was holding himself away from you, no matter he had just helped you walk to the cabin. Maybe it didn’t make sense, but you felt like that.

“Yeah, let’s clean you up then.” You said, giving him a weak smile,rummaging into your bag and getting out a rag and your bottle of water.

“No, Y/N, you don’t have to,” Daryl grumbled but you ignored him.

Pouring some water into the rag, you began to thoroughly wash the blood off Daryl’s face. That shirt was probably another lost cause, though. Daryl looked at you with sad eyes and your heart clenched, making you push away any shyness in order to try to find out what was in his head.

“What’s wrong? Talk to me.” You asked quietly but Daryl looked down and shook his head imperceptibly. “Are you…are you mad at me?” Maybe he did think that what happened with those men and your husband had been your fault…

“Why would I?” His eyes had snapped up at you at that, a confused frown on his face and you just shrugged, looking down. “I ain’t. Nothing was your fault, nothing of this...I…I’m gonna get those squirrels ready…you should be sitting down…”  

He tailed off and you nodded, looking up when you felt his hand squeezing your arm ever so slightly, but he was already turning away.

*

You woke up panting and shaking, tears in your eyes, looking around wildly until you realized you had had a nightmare.

Your husband was there, dead on the ground, along with the man you had also killed but also all the other men and you knew you had killed them all, bloodied knife still on your hand. They had woken up but not quite like walkers, they were looking at you, talking to you, blaming you, walking to you, reminding you of what you had done…and then your husband grabbed you by the throat, squeezing and he smiled…

You bit your lip, trying not to sob aloud. You should have known you were going to have nightmares. It had taken you a long while to fall asleep, after Daryl had told you to try. You had been sat down next to him for a while, none of you saying anything, until he told you to go to sleep and you hadn’t fight it. You had hoped he’d hold you through the night, you needed it, but he still seemed distant and you didn’t know what to do.

Looking around in the dark you didn’t see him and you wondered if maybe he was still outside, maybe you hadn’t been asleep for that long. If he was then you would join him, you didn’t care if it was just to sit down by him in silence for the whole night.

Daryl was still on the stairs of the cabin, you could make his silhouette on the dark, and so you went to sit down next to him.

“Told you to go to sleep.” He said when he notice you limping to him.

“I tried to…” You said weakly, sitting down.

Daryl looked at you, noticing your tear-stained face and the way in which you were shivering.

“What’s wrong?” He reached out for you, fingers barely brushing your cheek, eyes full of worry.

“Just a nightmare.”

Slowly, you laced your fingers with the ones that were whipping your tears, holding his hand carefully and gently, in case he didn’t want you to. Daryl chewed on his lower lip as he looked at your hands but he didn’t pull away and his thumb began to stroke over your knuckles ever so softly.

“Wanna talk about it?” He asked, sounding unsure.

“Just…my husband, the man I killed…and all the other men, they were all there, dead, because I killed them, but they woke up…” You shivered again, you didn’t want to think about it again. “I know those men were going to kill us but I can’t help it, I…” You tailed off and took a deep breath, feeling like you were going to cry again.

“I’m sorry…” Daryl said quietly.”’bout everything…that you had to do that…that you killed your husband…”

“The thing is…I don’t really think I’m sorry…”

That made you feel more guilty, but the idea of having let your husband and those men hurt your family, kill them…that was too much, and so you had done what you needed to stop the men. If you went back, you wouldn’t change what you did, no matter guilt was eating you, no matter you felt like an evil murderer, no matter it might haunt you forever. You had kept your family safe, just like they had kept you safe all these months, and so it had been worthy.

“I couldn’t let them hurt you, I couldn’t, you all are my family...” You couldn’t stop your voice from breaking. “And I wasn’t going to do nothing and let Dan shot you. I did what I had to…to stop them…”

“I’m sorry…” Daryl said quietly.

“It’s okay…I’m going to be okay.” You assured both him and yourself.

“Ain’t okay.” Daryl shook his head, sounding almost angry. “You shouldn’t have had to do that…you shouldn’t have had to kill him, it shouldn’t have been you…I’m sorry.”

You had felt a bit anxious as his angry tone, wondering if maybe he was actually upset with you, but now he just sounded sad and guilty and you hated it.

“Why’d you talk like that? Like it was your fault? It wasn’t… Maggie and Carol, they say those men had it coming…my husband too…” You swallowed hard, still coming to terms with that. “I know I had to do it…”

“To help us…to help me.” Daryl said, barely above a whisper.

“Yeah.” You nodded, that was the only thing that made you feel even just a little bit better about what you had done, knowing that doing so you had helped your family. Yet, Daryl was saying it as if it was something wrong. “Told you, you’re my family, I wasn’t going to let them do anything to you. I’m not letting anyone hurt my family if I can help it, I’m not letting anyone hurt you.”

You didn’t think you’d ever wore your heart in your sleeve like that before, without being afraid of someone breaking it or making fun of it, you didn’t think you had ever let yourself talk so freely about your feelings. But it felt good, letting it all out, especially since it was something good, nothing to be embarrassed about, you had to remember yourself that.

“I’m sorry they hurt you…I’m sorry I let them hurt you.” Daryl swallowed hard, eyes still trained on the ground.

“Hey.” You squeezed his hand ever so slightly. “Don’t talk like that, you didn’t let them hurt me.” You weren’t sure if Daryl was actually listening to your words or not, but you kept talking. “You know if any of you’d have done something they’d have killed us all. I had to go with him, so-”

“So he’d hurt you instead of us.” Daryl cut you off.

“Stop it.” You said gently.

“You shouldn’t have had to kill your own husband,” Daryl said, finally looking at you after a moment of silence.

“My husband…he was not a good man.” You knew it, you had known it for a long while, but what had happened had forced you to acknowledge it. “He’d have killed me, I know he would.”

It hurt, but it was true, you had seen it. Dan wouldn’t have hesitated to kill you if he thought he needed to…and no matter it hurt to think that way, you knew that if he’d gotten too mad at you one day, he’d have killed you.

“So I stopped him before he did, I guess...” Before he could kill you, or Daryl, or anyone you loved.

Despite knowing all that, you couldn’t help the way in which your voice broke and the tears that began falling down your eyes again. Daryl looked at you seeming helpless as if he didn’t know what to do or say. You scooted closer, curling up to him, wanting nothing more than to cuddle with him, but he didn’t move.

“Carol was right, you won’t catch a hint.” You whispered, letting out a soft chuckle.

“What?” Daryl frowned at you, seeming so confused that you couldn’t help but chuckle again.

You took his hand again to carefully wrap his arm around you, looking at him to make sure you weren’t pushing him. As soon as he realized what you wanted, though, Daryl pulled you to him, wrapping his arms tightly around you, and you snuggled against his chest, resting your head on the crook of his shoulder.

“I wish I could say Dan wasn’t always like that, that this new world changed him…” You began talking again. With Daryl’s arms around you, you felt comforted and safe enough to talk about your husband, to keep letting out your feelings. “And maybe it did…but he wasn’t a good man before either, was him?”

Daryl was silent, letting you speak.

“It wasn’t the first time he hurt me, you know it. I can’t even remember all the times he did…he’d get angry at me because I had done something wrong, or because I was clumsy or stupid…”

“You ain’t that, don’t say that,” Daryl said sharply, seeming unable to stop himself.

“Well…He used to say I was, so…”

So you’d thought you were stupid and everything else he called you, you had thought it for so long…you still thought like that sometimes, couldn’t help yourself, but during all these months you’d gotten better, you had started to see that most of what your husband had said wasn’t true. It was a slow process, though, and you still had a long journey ahead of you.

“So he’d get angry and most times he’d end up hurting me…and then he’d say how it wasn’t his fault, how I made him lose his temper, being the way I was. And I believed it, made myself believe it, so I could live with it because that was the life I had chosen, back when I married him.”

Probably you were being too hard on yourself, considering how young you had been back then, but that was the way you’d always thought, no matter now part of you also saw how he had always manipulated you, back since you both met.

“ And I know everyone says I should have left him, and probably I should…but I didn’t know how, was scared of what he’d do…and I didn’t know what could I do without him, I felt like I was alone in the world…He was my husband, I had to love him, didn’t I? I don’t know, he was my husband, it felt like the only thing I had in my life.”

You didn’t realize you had begun crying again until Daryl pulled back so he could whip your tears, trying to gently shush you and calm you. He kissed your tears-stained cheek softly and then your forehead before pulling you to him again, holding you tight.

“You didn’t deserve any of that. Anything.” He whispered into your hair. “I ain’t letting anyone hurt you again. Promise.”

Warmth spread through you and you pulled back to smile weakly to him, kissing his cheek before nestling against his chest again.

“I’ve been thinking…I thought he must love me, cos he was my husband, right?” You kept talking now that you were calmer. “But I don’t think he did, not even at the beginning…I don’t think what he felt was love, not really.” You weren’t sure about it, but it was something that had been on your mind for a while now. “And funny thing is…I’m not sure if I’m sad about it or happy…relieved it or not…” It was confusing, not knowing how you felt, but it was true.

“And you?” Daryl asked.

“What?” You weren’t sure of what was he asking.

“Did you love him?”

“Yeah…I guess I did…inflautated at the very least.” You let out a sad sigh. That was a better word than love, probably. “I mean, I was head over heels when I met him, gotta be to marry someone when you’re eighteen after just a few months. But as years passed…I don’t know…But I always told myself that I had to love him, cos he was my husband, you know?” Daryl let out an noncommital hum. “But I guess I hadn’t loved him in a long while…not really.” It had taken you a while to come to terms with it, but you did now.

“I thought…” Daryl began but he stopped.

“Yeah?”

“When he said he was your husband…I thought maybe you were happy he was alive and you found him. I knew he hurt you, I didn’t want you to go with him…But I thought you maybe wanted to…dunno…” You felt him shrug. “But I looked at you and I saw how scared you were…”

“I didn’t realize how terrified of him I was until then.” You had always been scared of making him angry, though. You shuddered and Daryl held you a bit tighter. “I didn’t want to go with him.” Even if he hadn’t hurt you, even if you weren’t scared of him, you wouldn’t have wanted to leave your family and Daryl.

“I shouldn’t have let you.”

“You couldn’t have stopped me. It was the only way I could think of keeping you all safe, of having a safe place…but it was for nothing.” It had been a trap anyway.

“You came to tell us so we could be ready,” Daryl replied. “You ended up like this doing that, he did this to you…”

“It was worthy.” You said without any doubt.

“I wish I could have kept you safe,” Daryl whispered. “I’m gonna keep you safe.”

You had no doubt believing it, you had never felt safer than curled up with him, wrapped in his arms.

---

I know this is not the most action packed chapter, we are back to the slow fic, but we have some Daryl being Daryl, some conversations, some drama, and some cuddles and fluff...did you like it? What did you thought? Please, leave me a comment and let me know your thoughts! 

Next week this fic comes to an end!

As always, English is not my first language so sorry if there are mistaques.

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In the Spotlight: 50 Bands You Need to Hear in 2018

Last year we brought back, and re-branded, one of my favorite features from the AbsolutePunk days: the “Absolute 100.” And as we enter May and the weather finally starts to turn around a little bit, it’s the perfect time to once again team up with our contributors to bring you a whole bunch of new music to check out. Just like years past we’ve compiled a list of 50 artists we think are worth your time. Some of the artists recently released their debut albums and some have been around for a while now but have flown under the radar. However, the one thing they all have in common is that we think they should be in the spotlight and are worthy of your ears. You’ll find the first group of 25, along with blurbs, recommended songs, and sounds like comparisons, below. Liis by Anna Acosta Up-and-coming dark-pop duo Liis may have started with busking and acoustic coffee shops, but the end creation between dual vocalist/guitarists Lisa Haagen and Dana Cargioli is anything but simplistic – or even acoustic. The independent release duo’s debut EP Put It On; Show It Off (to be released May 12, 2018) is a beautiful tapestry of haunting melodies and wistful, starkly honest lyrics that manage to never once lose their poetic feel. Sleep on this group at your own risk – they’ve got nowhere to go but up. Recommended Track: “Thief” RIYL: Daughter, Julien Baker, Lydia Florrie by Jason Tate I can’t think of a single artist I’m more excited to finally get a full-length album from than Florrie. She’s released a variety of EPs and single songs since around 2010, with the last coming a couple years ago. However, it looks like this is the year we’re getting more music and that rockets my anticipation up to a whole new level. Florrie’s music takes a few different forms but it’s almost always catchy and perfect for a summer day. I see sparks of Charlie XCX, Little Boots, and even a little Carly Rae Jepsen in there, but it’s the energy and creative diversity in her work that makes me think she has something really special in her. Recommended Track: “Real Love” RIYL: Little Boots, Dragonette, Foxes Ruston Kelly by Craig Manning Ruston Kelly is probably best known at this moment-in-time as Kacey Musgraves’ husband. 2018 feels destined to be Kelly’s year, though, so don’t be surprised if you’re reading a lot about him by December. Kelly has already racked up songwriting credits for country artists like Tim McGraw and Josh Abbott Band, and he recently scored some rock ‘n’ roll cred by opening for Brian Fallon on the Sleepwalkers tour. The time is ripe for Kelly to release his proper debut album, which should be out later this year on his new label, Rounder Records. Expect the album to build upon the foundations Kelly established on 2016’s Halloween, a stellar EP that sounded like a lost document from Ryan Adams’ ultra-prolific mid-2000s period. Just like Adams, Kelly is the kind of artist that could comfortably be classified as country, rock, or folk. In other words, he’s got the kind of universal appeal that not a lot of his Nashville contemporaries can’t match. That factor should set him up for big success whenever his new record does hit the streets. Recommended Track: “Black Magic” RIYL: Ryan Adams, Brian Fallon, Afraid of Ghosts-era Butch Walker Cecil Frena by Mary Varvaris A few months ago, I stumbled upon my favorite song of 2018 so far. That song is called “All Of My Heroes”, from the stunning, eclectic album The Gridlock by Edmonton artist Cecil Frena (previously known under the monikers Gobble Gobble and Born Gold). “All Of My Heroes” is the ultimate pop-rock song – it’s anthemic, and Frena utilizes cool distorted guitar, synths, and most importantly: his fantastic voice. Throughout The Gridlock’s 43 minutes, Cecil Frena never takes himself too seriously. There’s a distinct element of dark humor framing self-deprecating lyrics, but the melodies mostly remain upbeat. There’s a range of styles on display throughout this album, it’s almost too difficult to keep up. Take the raucous punk track “Unknow Yourself” where Frena is furious, and his words are scathing. Later, there’s the tongue-in-cheek “I Believe In Dancing”. “I Believe In Dancing” is the only acoustic-led track on The Gridlock, and it’s gorgeous and fantastic. Then, see him try balladry with the lovely piano-led “Hyphen”. But, The Gridlock doesn’t end on an optimistic note. Album closer “Human Math” is a dynamic, shattering song to end the record with. “Human Math” begins so gently, with quiet and mournful keys, and Frena’s hushed vocals before an urgent climax brought by intense, rollicking guitars; which complement crushing words that deal with an impending personal loss (“and it’s not your fault the coffin waits”). Cecil Frena doesn’t take the easy way out, and isn’t afraid to make music that asks questions without answers or happy endings. It’s real. It’s human. It’s also one of the coolest albums I’ve heard in a long time. The Gridlock might be the best, but also the most overlooked album by the end of the year. I desperately hope this isn’t the case, because Cecil Frena can and should be one of the biggest stars in indie rock. Recommended Track: “All Of My Heroes” RIYL: Born Gold, Quiet Friend, Long Neck The Penske File by Jason Tate Over the past few years my ears haven’t been as perked up by the gravely voiced singer over loud guitars thing. Yet, I find there to be something captivating by The Penske File’s recently released album, Salvation. It’s not really that they’re doing anything new, but their spin on this sound calls to me anyway. There’s some really good stuff in here. Recommended Track: “Spin My History” RIYL: Spanish Love Songs, Youth Decay, Red City Radio No Thank You by Drew Beringer Philly is the scene that just keeps on giving. The latest and greatest to emerge from the City of Brotherly Love is the incredible trio No Thank You. While the band’s debut Jump Ship was a solid albeit brief introduction to their brand of emo-tinged rock and roll, 2018’s All It Takes To Ruin It All is one of the genre’s better sophomore releases in recent memory. The record ultimately revolves around the passing of singer Kaytee Della Monica’s father and how she’s navigating through this loss. The band sounds more confident on record two – ping-ponging sonically from the likes of Rilo Kiley to The Get Up Kids – while Della Monica struggles to find the balance within the freshly introduced pain and grief into her world. All It Takes To Ruin It All is a brisk yet heavy record that’ll wring your emotions through the gauntlet, cementing No Thank You as one of the bands you absolutely cannot miss out on in 2018. Recommended Track: “New England Patriots” SeeYouSpaceCowboy by Zac Djamoos You could listen to SeeYouSpaceCowboy’s entire fifteen-song discography in just about as many minutes, and it’ll still be the fifteen most exhilarating minutes of your day. The band features members of screamo and grindcore heavyweights Flowers Taped to Pens and Letters to Catalonia, and it shows. Their grindy Fashion Statements of the Socially Aware EP is some of the most punishing metalcore I’ve heard in a long time – I fell out with metalcore years ago when Risecore became the dominant style. But if there’s any band I believe can revitalize the genre, it’s SeeYouSpaceCowboy. Recommended Track: “Jimmy Buffet Doesn’t Even Surf” RIYL: Daughters, Blood Brothers, Botch Caroline Rose by Aaron Mook Caroline Rose is the kind of eclectic songwriter that only comes along once or twice a year, and Loner is the unexpected debut that very well may end up on everyone’s EOTY lists. Her personality is on full display in her music, which hops from genre to genre over the span of a mere 11 tracks and 34 minutes. One moment, she’s mimicking the dream-like textures of Beach House and the next, she’s recreating Haim’s vintage vocal melodies – sometimes, all within the same song (“Getting To Me”). From the Phoenix-inspired synth-pop of “Jeannie Becomes a Mom” to the Modest Mouse guitar work of “To Die Today,” Loner is irresistible, that rare record that truly has something for everyone. In her own words, she’s got soul. Recommended Track: “To Die Today” Mammoth Grinder by Jake Jenkins When multi-instrumentalist Chris Ulsh isn’t busy behind the kit with modern day thrash metal titans Power Trip, he’s taking the helm in Mammoth Grinder, an old school death metal band that also features members of Iron Reagan. Like Power Trip, Mammoth Grinder’s particular brand of metal pulses with hints of hardcore punk, staying true to the raw and primal roots of the genre. On their latest full length, this year’s Cosmic Crypt, Ulsh has moved from guitars to bass, but the band’s guttural and intense bursts of death metal are still fully intact. Clocking in at just under half an hour, Cosmic Crypt is a quick, brutal assault that should please both new school and old school fans of death metal. Recommended Track: “Blazing Burst” RIYL: Power Trip, Genocide Pact Paperwhite by Jason Tate I’ve been a sucker for groovy-synthy pop-music over the past few years and Paperwhite have that in spades. So far this Brooklyn duo have released a couple EPs and a few singles and should have a new EP out later this year. Their pulsating tracks sparkle behind Katie Marshall’s vocals and they have an undeniable ability to shine in the uptempo and somber dream-pop. Recommended Track: “Unstoppable” RIYL: Great Good Fine OK, Say Lou Lou, Ryn Weaver Holy Fawn by Trevor Graham Holy Fawn may have emerged from the desert, but their brand of spacey post rock is nothing short of otherworldly. Crafting dreamy, oceanic atmospheres with each track, this Arizona-based quartet blends influences from the finest in experimental rock and shoegaze with an undeniably palpable energy that’ll leave you emotionally winded. 2015 saw the release of their debut EP, REALMS — a vehicle for introducing their broad dynamic range, deliberately set to satisfy head-trippers and head-bangers alike. Their visceral knack for layering sound shines brightly through a familiar formula that Holy Fawn have mastered the art of frequently concocting: start quiet, then get loud. Like, really, really, tremendously loud. I hate to use the word “epic” here, but… this band brings the capital E. Amidst their stormlike compositions, vocalist Ryan Osterman pours velvet falsetto whispers, hushed and reverberated just enough to somehow both stand out and blend in at once. Their latest single, “Arrows”, features a dizzying array of shimmering, cavernous guitar loops, eventually delivering the listener to the group’s fiercest display of cacophony yet. It comes from their forthcoming Whelmed Records debut, which the band aims to release in late 2018. Recommended Track: “Arrows” RIYL: Gates, O’Brother, Sigur Ros American Aquarium by Craig Manning In the Americana world, American Aquarium tends to be a pretty well-known and well-respected enterprise. If you don’t venture down that musical avenue much, though, then I’d wager you’ve never heard of these boys from North Carolina. Ever since 2006, this band has been quietly cultivating one of the most solid discographies in roots music. In 2012, they brought in Jason Isbell to produce their LP Burn. Flicker. Die., a record they intended to be their swansong. Six years later, they’re still trucking—though frontman BJ Barham recently had to reboot the band with new players. No matter: the band’s newest record—the forthcoming Things Change—is arguably their most fully realized to date. Starting with a song about the day Trump got elected president (the fittingly titled “The World Is on Fire”), Things Change is in turns political and deeply personal. The wistful “When We Were Younger Men,” for instance, charts the pains of growing up and the fluctuations of friendships to the sound of Tom Petty hits. The record as a whole is a reminder of what makes these guys special: they can be introspective, incendiary, personal, or political. Recommended Track: “The World Is on Fire” RIYL: Drive-By Truckers, Whiskeytown, Jason Isbell Pale Houses by Deanna Chapman The latest music from Pale Houses landed in my inbox and in typical fashion, it took me a while to get to it. Once I did, though, I was thoroughly impressed with the band’s sound. If you’re looking for new indie pop to listen to, these are your guys. Song of the Isolation is their new EP and all six songs keep you engaged with the music. I’ll be keeping an eye on this band going forward because they’re one of the pleasant surprises of 2018 for me. Recommended Track: “Tenderfoot” RIYL: Death Cab For Cutie, Bon Iver, Bleachers Wild Pink by Drew Beringer It’s only been a little over a year since Wild Pink released their criminally underrated Tiny Engines self-titled debut but that didn’t stop the New York City trio from expanding their introspective yet sensitive indie-rock sound on their upcoming second album, Yolk In The Fur, this July. The first single, “Lake Eerie,” leans even further into the spacious soundscapes created by lead person John Ross. Clocking in just over five minutes, it’s just a taste of the leap the band has made from album one into their sophomore effort. Let’s just all promise each other that Wild Pink dominates our speakers all summer into the fall. Recommended Track: “Lake Eerie” Spielbergs by Jason Tate Spielbergs released their debut EP, Distant Star, last week (April 27, 2018) and it is full of sing-a-long choruses that just beg to be shouted in sweaty nightclubs. They are a band and sound that feels almost instantly recognizable and familiar, but when performed with such gusto are still undeniably addicting. Recommended Track: “We Are All Going to Die” RIYL: The Japandroids, Latterman Nora Rothman by Anna Acosta It’s said that the simplest things in life can be the sweetest, and that ethos has never been embodied the way it is in singer-songwriter Nora Rothman. Embodied by a certain ethereal quality that’s difficult to fabricate, there is very little outside from a sweet, lilting vocal and a lightly plucked ukulele to distract from Rothman’s straightforward, heartfelt storytelling. And there’s nothing like taking one’s craft and applying it to a cause: this spring Rothman’s self-titled EP (released summer 2017) was remixed by five separate female producers (Birch, Ah-Mer-Ah-Su, QRTR, Suzi Analogue, and Libra Rising, respectively) and re-released via Electric Bird Records as a fundraising initiative for Planned Parenthood. Recommended Track: “Strange” RIYL: Phoebe Bridgers, Sufjan Stevens, Sarah McLachlan Middle Kids by Adam Grundy Middle Kids are not your average indie rock band. Typically a band with this type of following would have been expected to have played multiple shows before being noticed for a record contract. Not the case here, as this Australian 3-piece band released their first single in 2016 without having played a single show. Singer/songwriter Hannah Joy found limited success by self-releasing songs via Bandcamp, but she finally got her big break when Elton John endorsed Middle Kids. Their music can be best described as upbeat, classic sounding, pop-rock built for audiences as close knit as the club scene yet polished enough for arenas. Check out their debut LP Lost Friends on May 4th via Domino Records. Recommended Track: “Mistake” RIYL: Fleetwood Mac, Smallpools, Gang of Youths Hop Along by Mary Varvaris Hop Along is an American indie rock band from Philadelphia, PA. Their latest album Bark Your Head Off, Dog can be effectively summed up in its album opener “How Simple”. When I watch the music video, I’m unsure if Frances Quinlan is poking fun at herself while reflecting on the unpleasant things about falling in love: “how simple my heart can be frightens me” or if she mourns for relationships that don’t end up working: “don’t worry, we will both find out / just not together”. Quinlan’s lyrics are straightforward in their honesty here, but elsewhere, her lyrics fall in the abstract with religious imagery and references to World War I (see: “One That Suits Me”). Frances Quinlan’s voice is indescribable. She howls, croons, screams, and yelps, her voice cracks – she gives everything when she sings. Bark Your Head Off, Dog is full of wacky, memorable instrumentation – “Somewhere A Judge” is groovy, and Quinlan briefly uses a vocoder towards the end of the song. “The Fox In Motion” is full of unforgettable indie rock riffs. “Prior Things” is lead by optimistic, beautiful strings. There’s a harp and strings in the outstanding “Not Abel”. “Not Abel” starts as a fascinating little folk ballad, combining gentle picking on the acoustic guitar with a harp. “Not Abel” feels like a revelation. Quinlan references the story of Cain and Abel, and for the last minute and 36 seconds, “Not Abel” becomes an anthem. Before then, though, she channels her anger at the men who affected her self worth and confidence, contemplating how it’s “strange to be shaped by such strange men”. Bark Your Head Off, Dog is a refined and cohesive effort, taking all the elements of Hop Along’s previous album Painted Shut, and expands on them. Hop Along give every song room to breathe, and develop a warm, spacious atmosphere. The instrumentation is creative and experimental. Bark Your Head Off, Dog will end up being one of the best, most ambitious indie rock albums of the year. Recommended Track “How Simple” RIYL: Modest Mouse, Joanna Newsom Soccer Mommy by Jason Tate You can choose to get caught up on the band name if you want, but if you do, you’ll be missing out on one of the more exciting voices in music right now. Soccer Mommy is the brainchild of Sophie Allison and her latest studio album, Clean, was released earlier this year. The music has a breezy angst to it that walks between this folksy-grunge sound and soft acoustic ballads. It seems perfectly tailored to be performed in a bedroom alone, sung to a few empty beer cans and tired eyes, or belted on stage to a room that will soon be learning every word. Recommended Track: “Your Dog” RIYL: Alvvays, Anna Burch, Liz Phair Travis Meadows by Craig Manning Invoking the spirit of the great Bruce Springsteen has become an increasingly trendy thing for songwriters to do in the past decade. In songs by The Gaslight Anthem, Titus Andronicus, Eric Church, and more, Bruce has been elevated to the status of rock ‘n’ roll’s patron saint. Still, there might not be a song that captures what it’s like to hear a Springsteen song in the car on a weekend summer night better than “Pray for Jungleland.” The song, a core cut from Travis Meadows’ 2017 album First Cigarette, is a wistful look back at the days before iPods or Spotify (or car CD players, for that matter) where your only option was to wait around to hear your favorite song on the radio. Meadows takes that idea and turns it into a song that feels as alive and full of possibility as any summer evening you’ve ever witnessed. Elsewhere on the record, he takes you to the deepest depths of human regret and hopelessness, purging his own struggles with alcoholism in songs that hurt like bruises. Suffice to say there’s a lot of darkness in Meadows’ music. Songs like “Sideways” and “First Cigarette” feel like they exist on a brink, one step away from giving up or giving in. But it’s songs like “Pray for Jungleland” or “Pontiac” that make First Cigarette a masterpiece, because they shine a light through the darkness and make it shine. Recommended Track: “Pray for Jungleland” RIYL: Bruce Springsteen, Tom Waits, Eric Church We Were Sharks by Adam Grundy Victory Records’ latest prized possession is We Were Sharks, whose crunchy guitar riffs and New Found Glory-esque pop hooks have certainly gained listeners’ attention. This 6-piece post hardcore band from Ottawa, Canada are poised for a big 2018 with the release of Lost Touch (February 23, 2018), which happens to be their second album, and was produced by Silverstein guitarist, Paul Marc Rousseau. Recommended Track: “Hotel Beds” RIYL: A Day To Remember, Silverstein, Four Year Strong Author by Trevor Graham These Minnesota natives released a debut full length in 2015 that straight up stole my heart. Channelling the wintery ambience of indie darlings like Copeland, Of Brighter Days was the sound of a band exerting themselves on all fronts. The sense of melody, rhythm, instrumentation, lyricism — it was all there. Three years later, the band has released their new album, IIFOIIC — an acronym for the enthralling title track, “Is It Far Or Is It Close?”. The song, like many others in their discography, features haunting falsettos and soaring harmonies, glitchy electronic flourishes, trippy delayed guitar leads, and a powerhouse rhythm section. Their ability to bounce energy off of one another is unmatched in this scene, as they work like tiny parts of a well-oiled machine to push each other to the next level. At other points in the record, Author kick up the tempo to show off some of their most kaleidoscopic arrangements to date (looking at you, “Want”), where you may have trouble deciding whether to air drum or air guitar. Pro-tip: you’ll have time for the one you didn’t pick when you hit replay — you’ll want to hear that vocal hook again anyway. This is most certainly music made to soundtrack the leaves changing color, but don’t let that allow you to sleep on this fantastic band. Recommended Track: “Is It Far or Is It Close” RIYL: Copeland, From Indian Lakes, Valise, Mutemath The Night Game by Jason Tate Martin Johnson is an annoying good songwriter. Look, you can have your qualms with Boys Like Girls, but there’s no denying the earworms this asshole can write. His latest project has only released a handful of songs, but already they’ve run the gamut from 80’s nostalgia (“The Outfield”) to destined for pop radio (“Bad Girls Don’t Cry”). It’s nice to see Martin flex his songwriting chops and as he aims for a summer release with this project, I wouldn’t be surprised to see him once again with songs on the tips of everyone’s tongue. Recommended Track: “The Outfield” RIYL: The 1975, LANY I Don’t Know How but They Found Me by Adam Grundy This dynamic duo is comprised of ex-Panic! at the Disco bassist, Dallon Weekes and ex-Falling in Reverse drummer Ryan Seaman. These recent “cast offs” shouldn’t be written off yet as they plan to release an album filled with synth pop reminiscent of the 80’s. Recommended Track: “Choke” RIYL: Tears For Fears, Elvis Costello, Orgy Caitlyn Smith by Craig Manning If there were any justice, Caitlyn Smith would be the biggest star in modern country music. I don’t care whether you listen to country music or not: Smith’s debut album, this year’s Starfire, will knock you on your ass. The first time I heard her sing, it reminded me of the first time I heard Chris Stapleton. They both have these big, epic voices—voices so good you can’t believe they stayed secret for so long. It’s the kind of voice that can send shivers down your spine with a climactic key change (“Tacoma”) or leave your jaw on the floor with a theatrical torch song (“East Side Restaurant”). But Caitlyn Smith isn’t just The Voice-style good. On the contrary, she’s also a dynamite writer, someone who can silence a room with the sharpness of her pen just as much as she can with the hugeness of her voice. On “Scenes from a Corner Booth at Closing Time on a Tuesday,” she turns vignettes about nameless characters into a tongue-in-cheek treatise on modern loneliness, and on “This Town Is Killing Me,” she poignantly illustrates just how much it costs to chase a dream. If you listen to my recommendation once ever, make it this one. Recommended Track: “Tacoma” RIYL: Chris Stapleton, Maren Morris, Taylor Swift Part Two will be released tomorrow and a playlist of all the recommended songs will be coming on Friday. If you missed it last year, you can check out 2017’s feature here. --- Please consider supporting us so we can keep bringing you stories like this one. ◎ https://chorus.fm/features/in-the-spotlight-50-bands-you-need-to-hear-in-2018-part-one/

S7, E4:

Damn. God damn HBO.

I haven’t been writing these because I feel like everything is all a bit more straightforward these days, and people don’t need recaps because everyone is an ~expert~. I got close last week because it was such a badass episode, but this one. I. AM. Shook. 

The before-the-show “remember this” previews always get me because, i.e., in this one, we see Qyburn talking about a “solution” for the dragons, you see Dany getting frustrated, and you’re like SHIT NOT THE DRAGONS. 

But let’s back up.

So we begin at Highgarden (RIP OLENNA) with Jaime paying his debts to Bronn. I hate to say this, because as much as I hated the sand snakes (overall and just... overall) I kind of wanted Bronn to ride off to King’s Landing to save Tyene... somehow. Wishful thinking, because Bronn sends him off to help Dickon Tarly yell at people.

Now on to Cersei. Tycho, this guy from the Iron Bank, is hella creepy. He reminds me of my student loan officer from college who was like “if you take that fifth year, think about all you can accomplish”. And now 1/3 of my monthly income goes away to pay it off. Anyway.

Cersei is still possessed with the idea of controlling the “continent” which at this point sounds incredibly stupid given what we know is to come with the War for the Dawn. But, semantics.

Okay, this dagger situation. Littlefinger is being smarmy, and talking about how Bran almost died, and Catelyn did die. It’s almost as bad as when Bran was like “Hey Sansa, remember how beautiful you were when you were raped?”  It also sounds really “off” to hear Petyr call him “Brandon” because only Cat did that when she was yelling at him for climbing around Winterfell. 

I’m so glad that Meera interrupts the smarm-sesh because Bran isn’t really waving him off. And tbh whenever I see Meera, I just hope they’re not going to go down the “Jon and Meera” twins crackpot theory road. The one where they decide that there were TWO babies at the Tower of Joy, and Ned took one, and Howland took the other? I hate that theory. Let us have Jon. Meera’s a badass, but... THEN she starts talking about how when “they” (the white walkers) come, she needs to be with her family. Ah, yes, her father, THE Howland Reed, who killed Arthur Dayne, who was the only other living person not a baby who was there at the Tower when Lyanna made Ned swear to protect Jon’s true identity. 

Can SOMEONE please just tell this boy he’s a Targaryen already?! I’ve waited 12 years and that’s long enough.

Back to Bran. Bran is still being very Jaden Smith-like and it’s getting old because he’s not really helping anyone. Bran, this is why we left you out of an entire season. Remember that? The North does. 

So, now Arya is here, and maybe she can knock some sense into raisin-Bran. 

Arya looking at the Stark crest, though. *Tears up*

I’m upset that we’ve come so far that nobody knows who Rodrick is. SER RODRICK. I miss those mutton chops.

Arya and Sansa! Together! Being sassy! I love it! Except I only see Maisie and Sophie together, and not their characters, and I’ve forgotten that Arya and Sansa didn’t exactly get along all those years ago.

They talk about how Jon would be SO happy to see Arya, and I hope we get to that point. Arya says that Ned’s statue doesn’t look him him, just as Robert remarked that Lyanna’s looks nothing like her, so that seems to be a trend in the Stark crypt.

I like how Sansa is essentially WTF about her siblings’ new personalities. Bran is a fortune-telling raisin, and Arya is an assassin who broke bread with Ed Sheeran.

THREE STARKS IN ONE FRAME. AT WINTERFELL. I CAN’T.

Clearly Bran has seen Arya do something with this dagger, or he wouldn’t be so creepy about giving it to her. He ~knows. I’m glad Sansa perks up and says something about how Littlefinger has to be up to something, because for a minute there it looked like she was on board with him.

I love how Jon literally interrupts girl talk here, and Missandei is like “well talk later”. 

I also love how Dany just waltzes in there with him, and is apparently fully on board with trusting him at this point.

And we all know how much Jon Snow loves caves. *wink*

I like how he thinks he’s showing her a bit of her heritage, but really, he’s discovering his own as well. 

How CONVENIENT that there are markings showing white walkers, the very things she doesn’t believe in, though?

When Jon touches Dany I literally just wanted to scream “THEY ARE TOUCHING. WHO TOUCHES THE QUEEN” like this is 2005 Pride and Prejudice and Darcy is helping Elizabeth into the carriage.

That look.

I want someone to touch my arm and lead me gently around a cave where I learn about history.

So much tension.

So. much. tension.

People were like “they have no chemistry!” Me: *Gestures at this scene*

Also, the parallels: 

“I will fight for you. I will fight for the North. When you bend the knee.”

There are tears welling up in my eyes.

DAMN, DANY. Don’t ask Jon to bend the knee in a cave because he’s already done that and we saw how that went. But honestly I could totally see them turning this around and having him “bend the knee” some other way, especially because of that tension. DAMN.

~Lingering looks and soft music~

But I don’t know how they’re going to get around the incest factor. It’s not a big deal on GoT but there’s really no way of making it normal between two beloved characters even if they are Targaryens.

In the books, Viserys yells at Dany for not being born earlier so she could marry Rhaegar (normal) because then he wouldn’t have run off with Lyanna (Jon’s mom).

And then they exit the cave so closely it almost looks like they’re holding hands from the angle, but they aren’t, don’t worry. But we’ve come a long way in one episode.

Tyrion’s like, what do you want, good news or bad news first? Varys is like, my hands are cold.

Okay, I feel bad that Dany digs into Tyrion like that, but she has a right to be pissed. I also like how she says Jon and Davos should stay because they’re essentially part of her small council now.

“Enough with clever plans. I have three large dragons. I’m going to fly them to the Red Keep”.

I like how she says “large”. Not just that she has dragons, but like they’re LARGE. Anyway.

AND THEN SHE LOOKS TO JON. TO JON.

He’s like “who, me?” Missandei and Varys are like “who, him?” 

Help me Jon Snow. You’re my only hope.

And he gives her a speech about doing impossible things, which he has ALSO done. The layers. (I’m not just saying layers because the Onion knight is right there.)

Every time we see dragons I’m like “can Rhaegal come say hi to Jon” like we’re at the damn pet store.

Arya. Sparring with Brienne. I also can’t. If you think back to when Ned was telling Arya she’d make a fine lady one day, and she told him that’s not who she was, so he hired Syrio, and she was getting somewhat decent, but she wasn’t great. Now... on par with Brienne. We’ve come so far. *ANTM fist pump*

Pod’s like “damnnnn”.

Sansa’s like “who is my sister”. 

Littlefinger’s like “oh fuck”.

THIS. IS. GAME. OF. THRONES. 

Honestly you can tell this was so fun to shoot for the two of them, and I love it. I’m living.

Omg Jon acting like he’s in middle school: “who?” YOUR CRUSH JON. YOUR CRUSH. “I’ve seen you staring at her good heart”. ARE YOU SERIOUS WITH THIS DIALOGUE, D&D?

Okay, two things are happening here. 

1. Davos CONTINUES to mention Missandei OF NAATH. Not just, Missandei. While it’s common to mention where people are from, nothing on this show is coincidental. He even talks about if she wanted to sail home to Naath. Just FYI - if you want to know something slightly sketchy, look up the butterflies of Naath.

2. They talk about names, which Jon is like “semantics”. Are they setting us up for his Targaryen name reveal?! “My mother and father weren’t married”. BUT WERE THEY?! Ugh I can’t wait to get into this and talk about how they probably were but this post is long enough as it is.

Missandei speaks 19 languages. And she doesn’t know what a bastard is. Okay.

Jon’s aggression toward Theon. YAS. There’s my little warrior bb. His expression is the epitome of “over this shit”.

I’m honestly surprised Theon had the balls to walk toward Jon at all. Okay not funny.

Okay, sidebar: sometimes I just think about Kit in Pompeii. Running around. Being a gladiator. I’m done now.

“The Queen is gone.”

OH MY GOD DANY IS GOING TO GET THE LANNISTERS. 

“If the head of the line is ambushed, the tail will never be able to reinforce it in time” - Randyll Tarly, you foreshadower, you. Head. Tail. Dragon. I see you.

“Rickon.”

“Dickon.”

Bronn: *Cackles. Is all of us*

I like how Jaime continues to call him by dead Stark names - previously, Rickard, and now Rickon. 

But then. Hoofbeats. DAMN, DAMN. I hate the Lannisters but I like Jaime and Bronn and I know what a shitstorm is coming for them and ARE THEY GOING TO MAKE IT?!

I like how you can hear the Dothraki screaming from that far away, before you can even see them. Remember this conversation that Robert and Cersei had in season 1? Robert: I do know this: If the Targaryen girl convinces her horselord husband to invade and the Dothraki horde crosses the Narrow Sea...We won't be able to stop them. Cersei: The Dothraki don't sail. Every child knows that. They don't have discipline, they don't have armor, they don't have siege weapons. Robert: It's a neat little trick you do. You move your lips and your father's voice comes out. Cersei: Is my father wrong? Robert: Let's say Viserys Targaryen lands with 40,000 Dothraki screamers at his back. We hole up in our castles. A wise move. Only a fool would meet the Dothraki in an open field. They leave us in our castles. They go from town to town, looting and burning, killing every man who can't hide behind a stone wall, stealing all our crops and livestock, enslaving all our women and children. How long do the people of the Seven Kingdoms stand behind their absentee king, their cowardly king hiding behind high walls? When do the people decide that Viserys Targaryen is the rightful monarch after all?

Those payoffs, though.

It all looks quite stormy, as though this battle will go in favor of Daenerys Stormborn.

Sidebar: they did a fantastic job with the CGI background, here.

Jaime, if Bronn is telling you to go, you go. He doesn’t play around.

“DRACARYS”

DAMN, DANY.

And people are shook. People are stepping over each other’s ashes like it’s Pompeii (shout out, Kit) while the Dothraki mow over them.

I’ve watched a lot of war movies.

I’ve watched a lot of battle scenes.

And, damn.

Big question: Are Rhaegal and Viserion at home, or?

Sidebar: this must have been EXPENSIVE for all that fire power.

Archers with regular arrows: nope

Bronn with the scorpion: SHIT

SHIT ARE YOU KIDDING ME WE HAVE TO WATCH BRONN SHOOT DROGON WHILST DANY RIDES HIM. THIS IS GOING TO HAPPEN. I feel like this is the worst kind of dread because you KNOW it’s going to happen.

Bronn is 100% “if I were into that, I’d be into that.” Like, if I were into guys with issues and lots of war wrinkles, I’d be into him. Which means I slightly am. Anyway.

And after Dany and Drogon almost gets hit, SHE DOESN’T LEAVE? SHE DOESN’T LEARN FROM THE FIGHTING PIT SCENE? GO, GO, GO.

As much as I am in agony I’m also like THIS IS PRIME GAME OF THRONES. BRONN, AIMING A GIANT CROSSBOW THING AT A DRAGON WHILE DANY RIDES IT AND TRIES TO BURN HIM TO A CRISP? THIS. IS. GAME. OF. THRONES. BITCHES.

Sidebar: How does Bronn know how to operate this thing and dramatically throw the sides down like that?!

TYRION IS HERE? SHIT. THAT MEANS BAD THINGS FOR DANY AND/OR JAIME BECAUSE HE IS HERE TO WATCH.

“Your people can’t fight” A) Does Tyrion now speak Dothraki? He’s terrible at Valyrian. B) Is this also a reference to the fact that Tyrion MAY not be a Lannister after all? C) Is that a hint of the Rains of Castamere in the background? But like a slow remix? Um... who is going to die

Jaime, watching his soldiers crumble away like ash. Third Pompeii reference.

Bronn, shooting at Dany.

The music swells.

Drogon roars.

Tyrion watches with interest.

Bronn loads the scorpion.

SHIT. SHIT. SHIT.

He hits Drogon. He moves to strike again.

DANY AND DROGON ARE FALLING.

Okay, Drogon burns the scorpion to a crisp, but IS HE OKAY?! BB!

Dany’s really going to pull that thing out herself?

No, JAIME. DON’T DO IT.

You one-handed idiot.

But honestly that shot of Jaime galloping along the burning riverbanks toward Dany is cinematic goals.

Dany actually looks scared, but Drogon’s got her.

BAM.

BOOM.

P.S. If they killed Jaime off, I feel like they’d tell us. They were outright with Olenna... they weren’t outright with Jon. Jaime still has a lot to do.... Valonquar, anyone?

UNTIL NEXT WEEK. P.S. If you like my recaps as much as Davos loves Jon Snow, please let me know and I’ll continue writing them.

I don’t know anymore

Requested by: @heartattackfandom

Hope you like it :) 

“Miss Walker, miss Walker look over here”. Screams were erupting from everywhere around you. Instead of looking up you kept your head down trying to push trough the crowd. you felt an overwhelming feeling of your heart being crushed rush over you but you weren’t crying, yet. You’d keep that in until you were safe in the warm comforters in your bed. “Miss Walker do you think he did it”? There were more things being shouted but when you heard those words you froze on your spot. Did you ? Your head shot up while your eyelids were squeezed almost painfully together. A couple of days their was no doubt in your mind that he didn’t do it, that he was framed, the real killer was still out there and when he would kill again and when that happend Kit would be released. Only that didn’t happen. Tears threatened to fall while you thought back about the amazing man that you called your husband. You could still feel the touch of his rough hand on yours as you finally stood at the alter waiting to say your vows, his smile that seemed to shine brighter than the sun. you remembered the family dinners, how you knew he would make the best father ever as he played with your cousins. You also remember the desperation in both of your eyes as the police came in and took Kit away. They screamed at you and Kit, just as the reporters are doing right now. You had desperately tried to reach out to Kit, to go back to the moment you were eating and talking about everything life had yet to offer. But it wasn't long until they were out of sight, taking Kit with them to the asylum. The next weeks were hell, you got looks everywhere you went, people judged you as soon as you walked in the door. Even your family told you were lucky to be alive. You open your eyes and swallow hard to keep the tears at bay. 'Miss Walker do you think he killed those women"? Another reporter asked. God don't these people ever give up? Involuntarily your hand goes to your handbag, where you kept the letters you and Kit send to each other over the months. Your parents had tried to keep him away from you but thank god you had friends who brought the letters to you and back to the asylum. You remember them all, but particularly the last one you got and send. (Good Morning sweetheart, did you sleep well last night? I wish I was their to watch your soft breathing, to wake up before you and slowly get up to make you breakfast, just the way you like. Unfortunately I can't, but I do have good news. I found out who the real killer is, I just have to proof it. And trust me, I will. Their is nothing I wouldn't to so I could see you again. Feel your soft lips against mine. I miss you so much. But please, don't come here, I don't want you to see the inside of this place, or me. I want you to remember me as our last night together. Happy and without a care in the world. After seeing this place you might never again.I will be home soon, I promise you. Until then take care of yourself. I love you so much). You weren't going to see him here, You didn't want to anyway. It made you depressed just thinking of him needing to live here, but you recently got some news and you desperately wanted him to comfort you. You wrote it down but you wanted to give it him personally. So you came anyway.  Only when you came here, you saw something you never thought you would see in your life. He was just standing there, it didn't seem like anything was wrong with him though you knew he had been put through hell. you smiled as soon as you saw him. Your husband was standing right there. He was still alive and god had you missed him. When you got here one of the nuns told you, you couldn't touch him, but those thoughts disappeared to the back of your mind as you opened your mouth to call his attention and run towards him. But then he smiled to. He smiled, but not at you. Right in front of you a girl with short red hair ran straight into his arms. You were understanding of that,who knew what they went through in here.But then his mount touched hers and you felt all the love you once carried for him disappear straight out of the window. You couldn't think straight, what is happening? How could he do this to you? How could he do this after you supporting him trough everything ? you dropped the letter you had in your hands. When it came in contact with the ground you realised that this was happening. This wasn't a nightmare.Kit looked toward the letter, and then up to you. Right away he tore his arms of the girl and came towards you.'Sweetheart what are you doing here'? He asked as he stepped closer and you stepped back.'Don't come near me'. Your own voiche suprissed you. It was cold almost as if there was no emotion.'No wait, you have to let me explain'. But he didn't need to anymore, you had already made up your mind.'My family was right about you,we're done.I came here because I needed you. I found out I can't have kids. Hopefully she can give you that'. That's how you get to this point. Again you thought of the question asked to you. Did you believe he killed those women? You weren't surten anymore, what else could he have lied about? Kit came running trough the doors of Briarcliff, only to be held back by guards running up to him and pushing him on the ground. The eyes of remourse met yours and this time you didn't feel any kind off emotion towards him. 'I don't know anymore'. Was your respons as you walked away from the man you though you were going to spend your life with.

What if you're pregnant?

If you are pregnant and want this baby, it is necessary a list - so to speak a guide for further action.

HOW TO TELL if you're PREGNANT... BEFORE you take a pregnancy test

I am a young girl, learning, their children still do not have, but really want, and we are already planning. My list is based on the experience of the sisters, her 2 children. This is the list that I will use.

I am a minimalist, so I think that here collected the most necessary information for pregnant women.

What do we have to do:

1) register with the LCD

2) If you wish to ask - whether free courses are held for pregnant women to know that there toll. This will help calmer and easier to endure pregnancy and childbirth, and then, with peace of mind, the right to engage in with the baby.

How to Know if You're Pregnant Without a Pregnancy Test

3) to take a picture.

4) Decide on a name will be known when the floor.

5) Read the information about the benefits, especially if you are working. Here in Tallinn (Estonia) on benefits laid by government told doctors after childbirth: where to go, who to contact and what to do.

6) Read the necessary literature (pregnancy, childbirth, baby, issues you are interested in)

7) We define a list of things for pregnant (it is all your own)

8) Before birth to collect the bag and of course to determine the maternity hospital (at the hospital must give a list of what to bring with you is necessary)

9) Decide how you will bear with or without her husband

10) Collect the dowry for the baby!

After the birth of the most important appointment with the pediatrician - he will tell you what should be in a first aid kit baby. And when the baby will be, with him also appear different questions. For example - what you can do with your child: swimming, massage (and this is sure to ask your doctor). What kindergarten, mugs? About the development of the kids can be read on this site, by the way is very convenient for ages.

List of dowry will not write, it is your every mom, and such lists is easy to find on the Internet.

But unnecessary (in my opinion) things write.

- Sterilizer (you can pour into a saucepan of boiling water)

- Heater (same or cool in the cold water)

- Walkers (doctors do not recommend)

- Jumpers

- Developing rug (but, in principle, it is possible if funds permit - it takes a child)

- Manege (you can put a fence when crawling and when the arena is not needed goes)

- Kangaroo sling (you can use the car seat, your choice)

How to Know If You're Pregnant

- Baby Monitor (house or large apartment see for yourself)

- Deckchair, swing

- Changing table (can be any kids wardrobe to accommodate for this case, or bed)

Anyway, the different situations you may encounter in life will understand what you need and what is not.

Thank you for attention. Live and rejoice. Be healthy!