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#{the secret of happiness ~ knitting}
glamourooze · 10 months
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I’ve been knitting baby hats for an old high school friend. Making a size newborn, 6-12 month and 18-24 month so the baby will always have a hat that fits.
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She doesn’t know I’m doing this for her. I also plan on making a baby blanket and, hopefully, a sleep sack for her as well.
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chuluoyi · 7 months
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Could you do a brother’s best friend!Megumi x reader?
like her brother being overprotective, but being oblivious of his best friend’s crush on her sister?
(not the) best kept secret
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- fushiguro megumi x reader
cool, brooding and handsome. your crush on your brother's best friend is a secret you only keep to yourself. little do you know, he too feels the same. and so, your love story—and the trials and tribulations that come with it—begins.
genre/warnings: college au, reader being yuji's little sister and him and your family being protective, fluff, mutual pining, tiny weeny angst if you squint? with happy ending ofc!
notes: awww anon, this ask is so cute and so hidden love-coded! did you watch hidden love too? because this piece draws inspiration from that ehe. and uh it turned out longer than i expected and i haven't proofread it but pls enjoy!
series masterlist | oneshot masterlist
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You have had a crush on your brother’s best friend, Megumi, for a while now.
Actually, scratch that. For a long time now, since you were in middle school, in fact.
In your eyes, he was really cool. He was reserved and not very talkative, which was a stark contrast to your brother Yuji, who could talk a mile a minute every day. It always baffled you why the two could be bosom friends.
And he treated you well. Megumi may have bonked Yuji’s head at any given chance, but with you, he was different. He was gentler, kinder, and overall just considerate. Sometimes he would even pick you up in your brother’s place, and your heart would beat out of your chest from sheer giddiness.
Little did you know, he too didn’t quite see you as a mere sister of his friend.
It started with head pats. You heart would flutter and he would be more conscious of his actions. Yuji had furrowed an righteous eyebrow at the sight.
“Oi, Fushiguro, that’s some favoritism there!” he whined. “I helped you with homework and what did I get—”
“Shut up, Itadori.”
And then the text messages. You didn’t know how or why you ended up texting him on daily basis. He was the one who texted you first a few months ago, having obtained your number from a mutual friend in your circle to ask about the best gift for Yuji’s birthday. And somehow up until now, you found yourselves telling him how your day went, and he the same.
you: i've just finished my class today. so tired megumi: oh? mine is still in session. quite boring you: i see. well, ganbatte!
Those little interactions made your day, and for now, you were quite satisfied with them. But when your phone buzzed once again, signaling a new text, you couldn't resist the urge to swiftly open the messaging app to expect the expected.
megumi: wanna grab lunch later?
It was so incredibly childish, but you felt like winning.
Lunch invitations were often. You spent the whole duration of lunch with him almost every day at this point. The two of you talked about many mundane things, and he would have this small smile whenever you griped about your hard tests or annoying classmates.
Head pats. Texts. Lunches.
And then there was Nobara.
Now, don't get me wrong. You adored her—she was a fun person, pretty and you even looked up to her as your role model at some point. If Yuji somehow ended up with her, you were sure to give them 200% of your blessings.
But seeing her with Megumi was another story. Sometimes you envied your brother's close knit group of three. They had been friends since middle school, and it was granted that Nobara would spend a whole load of time with both your brother and Megumi. With Yuji, she was harsher and didn't take him seriously, but you couldn't deny what your peers had been whispering and what you yourself found very plausible—she and Megumi would make a fine match.
It wasn't your intention at all, but ever since you saw him and Nobara at the toy shop together, pulling for popular merchandises in gacha box, you started losing confidence in yourself and inadvertently put this distance between you and him.
At first it was subtle, Megumi didn't even realize it. But when your replies were few and far in between, he decided it was time to address the problem.
"You don't answer my texts," he stated one day, barely catching you at campus during the lunchtime. Now that he thought about it, you kept denying his lunch invitations too. "Are you avoiding me?"
"I, um," you stuttered. You didn't anticipate running into him, to be honest, and so you were at loss of words. "It isn't like that..."
Megumi figured that he had done something to make you feel like you should avoid him, but he didn't want the two of you to be in this awkward situation any longer, so he led you away from the crowd to your usual place of hanging out after lunch—the rooftop.
"Have I done something?" he asked warily. "It's okay, you can tell me."
"No, Megumi, I—"
"I don't want us to be like—this," Megumi said, his face contorting with a deep frown. "I don't like it at all."
Typically, he regarded friendships as a pain, but not with you. Not with the girl he had been pining over for who knows how long now.
Yuji's sister. He had to remind himself of that fact so many times and yet his heart didn't seem to get it. You were his best friend's dearest sister, and yet he fell for you regardless. If Yuji knew, he would definitely had some opinions on this.
And so for the last few months, he kept it hidden under his sleeves. He approached you, befriended you, took you out on lunch dates—acting on his growing feelings for you and yet he didn't have the courage to confess still.
But enough was enough. If not confessing meant losing you altogether, then he was willing to take the risk. At the very least, if you did reject him, he would have gone down with a fight.
"Y/N, I don't know if you're already aware of this or not, but..." he gulped. Apparently this wasn't as easy as he thought, especially when you met his gaze with your cutely confused ones.
"I have feelings for you. I... like you, quite much."
His voice was clear, without any hint of doubt. You were taken aback and widened your eyes out of surprise.
"You do...?" you shyly asked him back, finding it hard to believe. Fushiguro Megumi, the boy you've been crushing on since you were 15, when you were only able to hide behind Yuji and saw him from afar. The boy who once was indifferent to you, was now confessing his feelings for you? He liked you back in the same way you liked him?
"I do," he replied with clarity, and then a smile. That small smile that always made your insides do somersaults. "I want to ask you out for a while now, but since well... you know... out of consideration for your brother, I felt like I couldn't simply whisk you away."
To his surprise, you laughed, and Megumi found himself breathless. The way you laugh was so mesmerizing in his eyes, reminding him why he could fall in love with you in the first place.
"I like you too, Megumi."
And that was all he needed. Apparently that confirmation was enough to forget that you were the sister of his long-time friend, and that it was fine even if you were. After all, since when was it a crime to romance your best friend's sister?
Still, you two decided to keep it under the wraps first. Springing this on Yuji would startle him, you reasoned, and he agreed. It was more convenient this way anyways.
Your relationship with Megumi was a happy one. He was curt, but never failed to look out for you. He remembered things you liked, and would take you out on places you wanted to go. Arguments were there—granted, sometimes he was just too stubborn, so you may have a clash of opinions—but in the end, the two of you always managed to work it out.
But there was always something melancholic in Megumi that you weren't sure you could touch at all. Perhaps it was due to his upbringing—his incomplete family. You tried to fill that gap, giving him many fun and happy memories, hoping it would replace his sad ones. He was grateful for that.
Nonetheless, the reality persisted that your brother, Yuji, remained completely oblivious to all of this. Yuji still thought that you were his innocent younger sister, and Megumi was his best bro. Sometimes you felt bad to do all this behind his back, and yet you made no move to rectify it.
“Hey, let’s ask Fushiguro to join too!” Yuji would say, and you would agree. And then, in front of him, you and Megumi would refrain from being too friendly, and he would be none the wiser.
All things have karma. You have built your karma too, for deceiving your kind and sweet brother.
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"Fushiguro! How could you?!"
When Yuji's fist collided with his jaw, honestly Megumi had given up on fighting back, because one, there was no chance of winning against him, and two, your scream pierced the air, filled with worry for him.
You two just had to be found out in the worst way possible—while making out. It was wrong in so many levels in the first place. Why and how did you even initiate making out in your house that you shared with your brother?
"It could've been anyone," Yuji fumed with anger, his teeth clenching. "Anyone at all! And yet it has to be Y/N—my own sister! Fushiguro, have you ever considered the magnitude of betrayal this is to me?"
"Yuji! Please stop!" you tried to intervene. "He's not at wrong—it was me who—"
"No, you don't get any say in this!" for the first time, you saw your kind brother got angry and it made you quiver in fear. Yuji had never been angry, not to you. "You too, Y/N. How could do this behind my back? The least you could do is telling me!"
"I'm an adult!" you stressed, now irritated at this display of protectiveness from him. "I can date whoever I want and you can't just punch the man who happens to be my boyfriend!"
Honestly, if asked, Yuji wasn’t like 100% against your relationship with Megumi. He and Megumi practically grew up together, he knew the best and worst parts of him, and overall he still considered him decent.
But what made it hurt was that the two of you decided to leave him out. It made him doubt everything he knew about his best friend. How could he trust his sister to someone he found hard to trust?
He turned to Megumi, who was still slumped on the floors of his garage. “No. If he really likes you that much, then he will willingly accept this.”
Megumi understood, if his own sister was dating… let’s say, someone like Gojo, whom he trusted but not at the same time, he too would definitely beat the crap out of him.
And so he willingly endured all the blows. Yuji had to let off steam, and this pain was worth everything if it meant he would give his blessing for you.
Yuji was taken aback that his friend actually let him do this. When Megumi got thrown one last time and almost passed out, Yuji finally decided that it was the end.
His best friend and his sister… it was almost laughable if he didn’t feel like the biggest fool between the two of you.
He saw how you immediately sauntered towards him with tears in your eyes, muttering several apologies. Yuji wanted to snort, but then Megumi took a hold of your hand that was on his bruised cheek, and smiled, saying that it was okay.
And despite himself, his heart felt warm. Seeing the usual gruff and cold Megumi be this… soft with you seemed to open his eyes to something more.
Looking back, he could’ve had realized it when Megumi started to get touchy with you. He completely missed that the head pats were actually his subtle way of expressing his fondness for you.
Yuji decided to leave you be. At least he had made his point across, and he hated to say it outright, but perhaps, it was okay after all for you to be with him.
Okay didn’t mean you two had obtained his full blessing, though. But another event soon changed his perspective.
“Itadori,” Megumi’s ragged breaths was what he registered first through the sudden phone call. “Please come here—Y/N—she was—”
It was Yuji’s first time to witness pure panic from Megumi. He proceeded to tell him how you had been in pain and then collapsed, and that he had brought you to the hospital.
When Yuji arrived at the hospital, he once again saw how restless his friend was over your wellbeing. He could no longer deny it—the sight moved him.
“Hey, you awake?” Megumi’s face was the first you saw when you awoke at the hospital bed. He looked so concerned, a frown creased deep in his face. “Are you not in pain anymore?”
No, not quite much anymore, you wanted to say, but your throat felt so dry and you only managed to shake your head lightly.
“That’s good,” he let out a relieved sigh, and that was when you notice your brother at the corner of the room, looking at you two with a somewhat exasperated expression, but then he smiled.
Who knew a severe case of appendicitis would lead to Yuji giving his complete approval for you to date his best friend, huh?
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But life is nothing if not full of obstacles. The next obstacle you faced after Yuji’s finding out was your parents.
“Look Y/N, we know. Megumi is a good guy,” you mother started. “We've known him for a long time, of course, personality-wise, we have nothing against him.”
You bit your lower lip in frustration. Beside you at the dinner table, Yuji kept his silence, but listened attentively too.
“It’s just… the matters of his family,” your father added, carefully choosing his words.
“His father is never in the picture, is he? And there are also rather unsettling news about him too.” Your mother was always the one being more straightforward.
Both you and Yuji knew it already. As of now, Megumi only had his stepsister, and last you heard, his father was gambling somewhere and then became a convict. Megumi said he had cut ties with him, but there was no such thing as an ex-father. Until forevermore, Fushiguro Toji, a criminal, was his biological father.
“Mom, I know your concern,” Yuji had finally decided to step up, and you were grateful for that. “Fushiguro won’t end up—”
“Yes, we know,” your mother emphasized, letting out a sigh. “But we are your parents, Yuji, Y/N. If there’s even the slightest chance, we worry. We want the best for you. Always.”
You were at a loss.
You were young, and yet you already saw him in your distant future. Being with Megumi felt so right and comfortable. He was your safe space as you were his.
But you also understood where your parents’ concerns came from, or at least tried to. At least until you found out how your father approached Megumi to talk him into thinking your relationship over.
"How could you, Dad?" you asked, aghast. "You're... practically intimidating him into breaking up with me!"
"Y/N, listen—I never meant it like that," your father tried to explain himself, and yet you were already too heartbroken to hear him, and so you shut the door to your room, not giving him any chance.
Why did your relationship suddenly become everyone's business? Why couldn't they just let you be an adult?
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Megumi could still hear your father's words rang in his ears.
"Y/N... we raised her with love and care," your father said with a forlorn expression. By all means, Megumi knew that he meant well. "She's always spoiled, my only daughter... Megumi-kun, you must understand, it's not easy for us too."
He knew that his rather colorful past would get in the way one way or another, and he had come to accept it. But it still stung, because of course, he wanted full blessings from the family of the girl he fell in love with.
You were like a ray of sunshine in his dreary life. Like Yuji, your presence had made an impact on him. Your cute smiles, pouts and vulnerability around him... he loved them all.
He would get upset when you looked sad, just as you were now.
"It's really okay... Y/N." He swiftly wiped your tears with his thumb, as you sniffled. "I didn't take it to heart. Your father is just worried about you... I can understand that."
"But still—h-he shouldn't do that," you replied amidst your small sobs. Above all, you didn't want your father to have spooked him. "Megumi... I don't want to break up with you."
And honestly he didn't expect that. You were afraid of him... leaving you?
He, who did everything he could, just to have you to be by his side?
"Sir, I know where you are coming from. As of now, I don't have much. But I can say this with confidence—I... love your daughter very much, and I will do everything in my power to make sure that she is happy."
"Stupid," he huffed, putting a hand on your head, before messing up your hair. And gosh, you were so cute, glaring at him through your lashes.
"I won't. I've told your father that too actually."
"Just give me two years," Megumi added with unwavering voice, staring at your father earnestly. "After graduation, I'm getting my life in order. I'll secure a stable job and do my best. I'm... going to prove it to you, and you can be the judge if I can finally deserve Y/N or not."
He was 16 when he knew you, seeing you as nothing but a little girl too timid to approach him. And he was 19 when he realized that you were everything he wanted in a girl of his dreams.
At one point in his life, Megumi thought it was okay to be alone. But ever since getting to know you, he realized that loving and being loved by you were the greatest happiness of existence.
"Thank you," he muttered afterwards, as you were still starstruck that he apparently had the balls to declare something like that before your father.
"Thank you for giving me so much love. Because of you, I realized that I too deserve to be loved."
You could feel tears glassing your eyes once again. “You are. I’m glad that you finally think so.”
And that was it—your love story. Something that had started when you were 15, and ended ten years later when you were 25, with swearing your love for each other in front of the sacred altar before your closest family and friends, and Megumi by your side.
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perlelune · 16 days
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Dollhouse | Rafe Cameron | i.
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The moment your mother marries Ward Cameron should have been the moment your life changes for the better. A fresh start out of the Cut for the both of you. And for the first seven years of living with the Camerons, everything truly is perfect.
Warnings: DUB-CON, NON-CON, Pogue!Reader, Stepcest, Secret Relationship, Manipulation, Jealousy, Drugs, Drinking
This is a dark story. Heed warnings before reading under the cut.
𝖘𝖊𝖗𝖎𝖊𝖘 𝖒𝖆𝖘𝖙𝖊𝖗𝖑𝖎𝖘𝖙
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You peek from your hiding spot, beneath the lavishly decorated long table. Mom looks pretty. She’s wearing a fancy white dress that likely costs ten times the rent you used to pay. Perhaps more. The diamond earrings she dons, a wedding gift from your new dad, (Your new dad, your mind still cannot grapple with that reality-altering piece of information. You have a dad now, a stepfather), glimmer as they catch the glow of the fairy lights overhead. 
She’s laughing. So loudly you can see all her teeth and her eyes are crinkly. You don’t think you’ve ever seen Mom laugh like that. No. You have never seen Mom laugh like that. Not ever. In the eleven years she’s raised you on her own. There have been sad times. Very sad times. Happy times too. 
Still, she’s never looked as happy as she does today. 
Like she’s on Cloud Ten. Not on Cloud Nine. Cloud Ten. Because there has to be a level above that fully captures how overjoyed Mom looks right now.
All because of this man. Your gaze swings to him. He’s wearing a suit, a white wedding suit, because Mom insisted they match and she always despised - despised not hated - bland wedding tuxedos. Bland anything really. So she picked his suit herself. Just like she did everything for the wedding. Her dream wedding. Something she’s constantly reminded you for the past month. 
That this is her moment. Her big moment. One you shouldn’t ruin. 
Which is why you’re hiding here. You can’t ruin anything from underneath a table. A silent observer. Quiet as a mouse. 
That way Mom can have her moment while you bask in the shock that she’s a Cameron now. And so are you. 
“Hey. Why are you hiding at your own mom’s wedding?”
You gasp, startled by the voice beside you. Your head turns. A blond-haired boy is crouched next to you, his neck crooked from having to fit his tall frame in the small space. His blue eyes are wide and curious as they rest on you.
“I-I’m not hiding,” you stammer, shocked that someone found your secret spot. Everyone’s focus is glued to the new Mr. And Mrs. Cameron. Even your new stepsisters are cheering from the circle around them. Sarah’s the loudest. Her thunderous clap and megawatt smile is a cheering squad all on its own. 
This is their day.
So you figured your existence must have been forgotten by now. You tossed flower petals across the aisle, just like Mom asked. You smiled for the family pictures. You hugged him, that man, your new dad.
You awkwardly greeted your new siblings. Well, mostly waved from a safe distance.
You assumed your disappearance would go unnoticed amidst the bubble of joy keeping everyone trapped in its spell. But someone slipped away from it for a little while, it seems, broke the spell. Long enough to notice your absence. 
He nods and says, “Really? Come out then, since you’re not hiding.” When you dig your pink ballet flats into the grassy dirt, refusing to move, the teenager chuckles.
He plops onto the floor. 
“Or we can stay here.”
Your brows knit. We. It sounds strange. Alien to your ears. It’s always been you and Mom. The two of you against the world, jumping over every hurdle life stuck in your path together. There’s just so many kids now. And based on Mom’s recent announcement…there’ll be another one soon. The final knot binding your two families.
Thinking about it makes your mind spin. Overnight you went from being an only child to having three siblings. Well, four in some months. 
Saying your world has been turned upside down is an understatement. Everything that used to be up is now down. And the house! Tannyhill is nothing like the tiny apartment you and Mom used to share. The one where the lights used to go out sometimes. It has all these big rooms. A gigantic yard. A pool. 
JJ even made fun of you at school because he said you’re a Kook now. 
A Kook. You wanted to punch him…and you did.
You will never be a Kook. It doesn’t matter if Mom makes you change schools, forcing you to attend the one on Figure 8, if she buys you new clothes, moves you to a new house.
You’ll always be a Pogue. A fact the kids at your new school make sure you never forget. 
You tuck your knees against your chest.
“You don’t have to.”
“I do what I want,” he replies with a shrug.
He brings out a piece of cake from behind him. 
“Do you want some?”
You make a face. 
“Not hungry.”
He laughs and takes a spoonful of the three layered chocolate cake himself. 
“What kind of kid refuses cake?” 
“Why are you here?” you retaliate, growing more annoyed. 
“Because you’re my new sister,” he states with a shrug. Your eyes round. “That’s what my dad says anyways.” He sighs. “Gotta look out for you and all that.”
“I don’t need it.”
“Well, little sisters are a pain in the ass. Didn’t ask for another one.” His brows furrow. “Didn’t ask for a new stepmom either but…here we are, princess.”
“Princess?”
“It’s what you look like, with your pink ribbons and all the bows,” he says, waving his hand in front of you. 
You open your mouth then close it. Mom did go overboard with the pink and the bows. But she wanted you to look cute in the photos. She wanted all the girls to look cute. Adorable, as she said. So you and your stepsisters ended up with those big, embarrassing, fluffy pink dresses. 
“Anyways. I’m your brother now. Deal with it, okay?” He scratches the back of his neck, placing the cake on the ground. “Pretty sure if I let anything bad happen to you my dad will kill me.”
You look ahead. Mom’s dancing with the girls now. She pauses momentarily, glancing around, but quickly returns to the dance. She, Wheezie and Sarah bounce in a circle, giggling as they tap their feet to the music. 
Your eyes swell with tears. 
This is how long it took Mom to replace you. A few seconds.
Rafe’s voice laces with irritation. 
“Are you crying?” His harsh tone only drags more sobs out of you. You grip the hem of your fluffy dress to wipe the snot pouring from your nose. 
The boy rolls his eyes. 
“Girls are so annoying, always crying for no reason.” He plucks a tissue from the back pocket of his dress pants and dabs it against your eyes. He does it rather aggressively which startles you out of your meltdown. “Here, stop.” You blink at him. “I’m sorry, okay?” His blue eyes soften. “I promise, we’re not so bad.” He scrunches his nose. “Well, except for Sarah who’s a spoiled brat…but you get used to it too.”
You sniffle and duck your head. Almost as if reading your mind, he assures softly, “Your mom will always be your mom, so stop crying, okay?”
You raise your head, gaping at him. 
“T-Thank you, Rafe,” you mumble between your abating sobs.
He shrugs. “Whatever.”
As he continues wiping your face, your tears slowly drying, you start pondering. Perhaps having a big brother won’t be so bad.
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Cheers and applause explode around you as you blow the last of the sparkler candles. It took several tries before all the flames flickered out, plunging the room in total blackness. Your sisters giggle beside you and a contagious smile creeps onto your lips.
“Make a wish, make a wish!” your family chants around you.
You shush everyone which draws more laughs, especially from Mom and Dad. “Guys, quiet. I need to focus.”
You suck in a deep breath. 
You close your eyes and make a silent wish. Your smile broadens. It’s easy. You wish for everyday moving forward to be as perfect as this one, as wonderful. A happiness untouched and crystallized like a butterfly in amber. Its paper-thin, delicate wings never shriveling. Its vibrant colors never dimming. Its beauty never waning, never yielding to the fickle whims of time. Every year onwards, you wish to be surrounded by the same love and support you’ve gotten to experience for the last eighteen years. 
You wish to always be with family. 
When your eyes open, you beam brightly. The fact that familiar faces stare back at you fills you with warmth and comfort. Sarah, your sister, offered to throw the flashiest, biggest party of the year for your birthday. She even made a vision board for it. It was quite impressive actually. She planned on making sure her little sister celebrated eighteen years on this earth with a bang. But you staunchly refused. Not only did you hope to avoid more organizing drama between Sarah and Kie, you wanted something discreet and casual this year. You had no desire to be surrounded by vague acquaintances from the Island Club or the snobbish classmates who only stopped calling you names once they realized Mom was more than Dad’s mid-life crisis. 
Despite the twenty-year age gap between them, you’ve never witnessed two people more in sync than your mom and dad. You know every woman on that side of the island has wished for their marriage to fail. You wouldn’t flinch if you learnt there was a voodoo doll of your mom in one of those women’s closets. People figured they wouldn’t last. After all, they are so different. Mom used to be a cocktail waitress at the country club Dad is still a faithful member of to this day. His wife Rose had recently died and they bonded over fishing and sports. In many Kooks’ eyes, Mom will always be beneath them. You can see it in their eyes. Their pinched smiles. Their forced pleasantries. A veil of unbelonging will always cling to you and your mother. Deep down, despite living in this big beautiful house for seven years, you’ll always be Pogues. Not that you’ll ever tell Mom. She lives in a pink-colored bubble of her own making. One you wouldn’t dare pop lest she land in a cold puddle of harsh reality.
Still, you’re happy for your parents. 
Even after all these years, they love each other deeply. They still find ways to surprise each other, to make the other feel special.
Alice and Ward Cameron are what true love looks like in your eyes. What it should look like. Unless you have what your parents have one day, you don’t see yourself tying the knot with anyone. Your dad set that standard by being the best man you’ve ever met. 
Willa bounces in front of you, displaying her gummy grin. She recently turned seven and her front teeth have yet to come out. It never stops her from smiling all day however. 
“What did you wish for?” 
You don a cryptic expression.
“It’s a secret.”
Willa pouts, folding her arms dejectedly. Dad chuckles and picks her up. He rubs her back to comfort her, explaining, “She can’t tell you her wish, sweetheart. Otherwise it won’t come true.”
Your little sister gives a reluctant nod. Willa abhors the word ‘no’. Setting limits for her is a problem as she’s so accustomed to Dad surrendering to her every whim. Ward Cameron is what some would call a ‘girl dad’ through and through. It never takes much effort from you and your sisters to convince him and whoever would dare hurt any of you should probably count their days…as your dad would likely have already picked a date and funeral plot for them.
The time for the gifts comes. You sit in a chair at the head of the dinner table as everyone gathers around you to give you their gift. 
Sarah got you a coupon for a tattoo. While Dad is livid, she winks at you. The two of you mentioned getting matching tattoos before you leave for college. You’re glad to learn that she hasn’t forgotten.
Wheezie hands you a Sephora gift card. She’s very solemn, adjusting her glasses while giving it to you, which tears a chuckle from you.
“You just always say you don’t want anything, then everyone gets you a super cool gift,” she laments. Mom squeezes her shoulder. 
“It’s an amazing gift. I love it, Wheezie.”
Her face lights up at your response.
Willa’s gift draws the biggest smile from you. It’s a handcrafted wooden box covered in seashells, glitter and sand. It has a silver lock with a little key. It’s just so cute and you already picture yourself placing it above your bed or somewhere on your desk in your college dorm. It’ll be a much-welcome reminder of home. 
Mom and Dad’s combined gift sits in a square velvet jewelry box. The breath hovers in your lungs, your fingers shaking with anticipation as you open the box.
Your jaw drops.
A gold necklace with a single diamond charm shaped like a teardrop lies on beige satin. 
Your hand flies to your mouth. This must have cost a pretty penny.
“I don’t know what to say,” you whisper.
“Do you like it, sweetheart?” Dad asks.
“I love it.”
A bright grin unfurls on his face at your swift response. He moves forward, collecting the necklace from the box. 
“Can I…”
“Of course,” you reply, shoving your hair aside so he can place the necklace on you. 
When he’s done, he takes a moment to look at you, his hands clasping your shoulders. “It suits you. Your mom and I picked it out…” His voice falters, unspilled tears filling his blue eyes. 
You wrap your arms around him. He hugs you tightly. 
“Dad, it’s okay,” you say.
He unleashes a watery laugh. “It’s just…you girls are growing up so fast.” He steps back and hastily wipes the tears in his eyes. Dad loathes crying in front of you. Well, showing any sort of emotion really. You don’t remember seeing him shed a tear since the day you called him ‘dad’. It just slipped out of your mouth one time. It just felt natural after a while. 
Ward is the only father you’ve ever known, your mother having divorced your biological father when you were just a few months old. You’ve never met this man, though you’ve heard he has another family on the mainland. You can’t deny you’ve been curious about him at times. But your mother’s lips are sealed when it comes to that man. She rarely talks about that time but you always gathered that his absence in your lives is somewhat of a blessing.
You hug Dad again.
“It’s okay. I promise to visit a lot. For every holiday. And you guys can come see me too.” You try to lighten the mood as you note the sour faces. “It’ll just be four years. Then I can come home and work on getting my real estate license while working with Dad at Cameron development.”
“That’s my girl. Eyes on the prize,” he praises. 
“Always.”
He sweeps an icy glance over Rafe.
“If only a certain someone followed your example.”
Your brother flinches. He’s been a bit more withdrawn than everyone else during the party. Besides singing ‘Happy Birthday’, he hasn’t said a word to you. You surmise he’s not too eager to see you leave either. Out of all your siblings, you are the closest to Rafe. 
While he was standoffish when you first met, he’s warmed up to you considerably over the years. He’s not just your brother. He’s also your confidant. You can count on one hand the things you don’t share with Rafe.
“Come on, dad. That’s not fair,” you say, trying your best to dissipate the tension in the air. “He’s just on his own path.” 
Rafe bolts from his seat, stomping out of the room and heading to the balcony. 
Your shoulders slump.
“Not everyone has to go to college to succeed. You know that. And so does Mom.”
“You’re right.” He heaves out a weary breath. “But I’m not mad that your brother dropped out of college. I’m mad he doesn’t care about anything he can’t shove up his nose or get high with.”
Concern scrunches your mother’s features. 
“Honey,” she says.
“Alice, he’s twenty-two years old. It’s time for him to grow up.”
Bereft of arguments to defend Rafe, and with your dad being stubborn as ever, you elect to join him on the balcony. The cool night breeze seeps through your clothes. Goosebumps break out on your skin as you shiver by Rafe’s side. 
You decide to crack his shell with a lighthearted joke. 
“So I don’t get a gift from my big brother this year?”
A smile breaks out on Rafe’s face. He turns to you.
“But you always say you don’t want anything because you already have everything.”
You give him a harmless punch in the rib. He pretends to be deeply hurt by it and bursts out in laughter.
“I’m kidding,” he admits. “I'll give it to you later this week. It’s something you’ve wanted for a long time, promise. There was just a…temporary shortage.”
You acquiesce. You let a comfortable silence hang between you and him for a while before speaking again.
You take a deep breath. 
“I’m sorry about Mom and Dad,” you blurt out.
Shrugging, he scoffs, “It’s fine. It’s not like Dad will stop riding my ass all the time. At least Alice doesn’t have her foot on my neck 24/7.”
You grip his arm.
“They’re just worried about you. About your future.” Rafe’s jaw clenches, his blue eyes set forward. “You know Dad loves you. He’s just not very good at showing it.” Hope laces your tone. “Maybe try to stop by the office more? I’m sure he’ll appreciate you showing interest in the family business.” You shift closer to him, whispering. “Even Sarah can’t be bothered, just so you know.” This makes his hard gaze fall on you. Talking about Sarah never fails to make Rafe’s blood pressure rise. Even after all that time, the two of them can’t seem to get along. “You’re always talking about being proactive and all that. Then be proactive, Rafe.”
He studies you for a while before a slow smirk unfans on his lips. 
“You know…that is actually not a bad idea, princess.”
“Of course it’s a great idea. I had it,” you jest, drawing a hearty chuckle from him.
The buzzing of your phone shatters the moment. You startle. You hastily grab it from the pocket of your cardigan. 
“Just give me a minute,” you utter apologetically. You step away for a bit. Rafe’s eyes on you are sharp as you check your phone. The message you receive has you fighting a smile. You feel giddy that he remembered your birthday. You don’t even remember telling him it was today. Suppressing the goofy grin threatening to take over the bottom of your face, you return to your spot next to Rafe. 
“Who was that?” he asks.
You lie with ease. While you love Rafe, he can be so overprotective. To a suffocating degree at times. No guy will approach you because the mere knowledge that Rafe Cameron is your brother and will surely dole out a severe beating if any guy so much as stares at his sister too long makes most of them steer clear. Some of your suitors have tried, the brave, reckless ones, but Rafe would scare each of them away. 
There’s been a boy lately. One who eluded your brother’s relentless scrutiny. Familiar, but also kind of new. Rafe would blow a fuse if he knew who it was. He can’t find out. Not yet anyways. 
You slap on a mask of nonchalance. 
“No one.”
He gives a nod, licking his lips. He seems to mull over something before narrowing his eyes in suspicion. 
“Are you hiding something?”
Your stomach knots. You try to keep an even, casual tone. You fail. 
“I-I’m not. Why would you say that, Rafe?”
“I don’t know. You were acting shifty just then.”
“I’m allowed to have some privacy, Rafe. I’m not a kid anymore.”
His jaw ticks. He takes a small step back, as if your words hit him square in the face. 
“But we never had any secrets for each other, haven’t we?”
“Yeah.”
His blue eyes trap yours. 
“So who was it, princess?”
You shudder. Keeping things from him is near impossible. He knows you like a book he’s read every single page from. Again and again. 
This is how you know your subterfuge can't be a complete success. Still, you stick to your story.
“Like I said, Rafe. No one,” you maintain.
He bends over you, seizing your hand and tucking it against his chest. Your heart skips a beat. 
“You know I’m just trying to protect my little sister, right? That’s all I’ve ever tried to do, protect you.”
“I know,” you say, a small smile tugging your lips. 
He rubs his thumb across your palm, squeezing your fingers more tightly than before. You wince at the pressure. It’s on the thin edge of pain.
“So…you’d tell me if there was anything new in your life, anyone?”
Your pulse quickens. The lie aches as it rises from your throat this time. Needles of deceit. You aren’t used to lying to your brother. 
“Of course, Rafe. You’d be the first to know,” you chime, forcing a false, wobbly smile on your face.
He stares at you for so long that it grows unnerving. After an eternity, his grip on your hand slackens. You rub your pulsing fingers, a frown wrinkling your brow. 
He crosses his arms over the railing, eyes fixated on the night as he mumbles under his breath, “Good.”
You don’t know how to answer that, a wave of unease, cooler than the night chill, passing through you somehow. 
601 notes · View notes
buckybabesonly · 1 year
Text
Nothing Breaks Like A Heart
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Summary: You finally confess your feelings to Bucky, hoping he might like you back. He turns you down.
Pairing: Bucky x Female!Avenger!reader
Genre: Angst, fluff
Warnings: Mentions of heavy drinking, no other significant warnings really without spoiling the plot 🤫
Word count: 6.5k
A/N: If you enjoyed this one, please do leave a comment / feedback / reblog! ❤️
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Loving Bucky was like drinking honey. It was warm and comforting, sweet and overwhelming for your senses. You looked forward to seeing his face everyday and adored hearing him laugh, his whole face creasing when he doubled over at something funny you had said.
He had become an unlikely close ally since you joined the team. More than just a colleague. The time you’d spent together in the last year had been a defining period for you, as you had really grown to treasure his presence in your life.
God, the way this man made you feel. You didn’t think you’d ever be lucky enough to meet someone who would make you so happy.
It would be even better if you actually had the gall to tell him how you felt.
Being emotionally vulnerable was difficult. You wanted more, but it was scary. However, you recalled a piece of advice that one of your college professors had told you years ago, wise words which stuck with you. If you never try, the answer will always be no.
You had it set in your mind that you were going to tell him. You were, but maybe not today. You would wait for tomorrow. Or the day after that. Or the day after that.
Your inner turmoil was frustrating. You fought androids and aliens and god knows what else, but you were afraid of this?
It could mess everything up, you reasoned. If he didn’t return your feelings, then you would make everything awkward, and maybe you would lose him even as a friend. You didn't know if you could handle that.
Despite this, a tiny hopeful voice in your head told you that Bucky felt the same about you. The way he always looked for a reason to spend time with you, how he shared his deepest secrets with you. The way you always partnered up on missions, and how you always had each other's backs. The way he comforted you when you were sad, allowing you to cry on his chest, soothing fingers stroking your hair.
When you first joined the team, he had been the first one to properly befriend you. Your first encounter was in the kitchen, where you had ended up in the middle of the night after being unable to sleep.
You were shocked to see Bucky propped up on a breakfast stool at the kitchen island, book in hand. You had waved nervously at him, going over to the fridge to get a carton of chocolate milk.
“Can’t sleep?” he grunted. You glanced to see what it was reading, seeing 'The Hobbit' embossed in gold letters across a hardback cover.
“Yeah,” you said softly, tugging down at the hem of your sleep shirt. You hadn’t exchanged many words with him at this point, but he seemed friendly enough. “You want a glass?”
He contemplated for a second before he nodded. “Sure.”
You ended up sitting opposite each other, glasses of chocolate milk in hand.
“How come you’re awake?”
Bucky smiled wryly. “I have trouble sleeping.”
“Nightmares?”
“Something like that.”
You hummed to yourself, taking a sip of the sweet beverage. There was something childish but comforting about chocolate milk - you always used to have it with your mom when you were small.
“How you feeling?” Bucky asked, breaking the silence. “Settling in?”
You nodded, the grip around your glass tightening. “Yeah, kind of. Everyone’s nice.”
Bucky seemed to know that you wanted to say more, silently promoting you with his eyes to continue.
“Everybody seems very tight knit - I guess that makes me a bit nervous? Trying to fit in.” You looked down, chewing on your lower lip. "I've always had a bit of trouble with that."
“I get you,” Bucky said, eyes still observing you. They were the color of cobalt - stunning. “Don’t worry. I think you’ll do just fine.”
That was the first meeting, and since then, you had only grown closer to him. Your mid-night conversations were a frequent occurrence. At least once or twice a week, you’d find each other in the kitchen at ungodly hours. Over time, you had introduced other activities to pass the time - board games, watching TV shows, fun idle gossip. Each time, you were always accompanied by chocolate milk.
“My mom died when I was six,” you had told Bucky during one of your late night rendezvous, half a year into your time with the team. “I don’t have many memories of her, but I remember that whenever I was sick or sad, she would have chocolate milk with me. It always cheered me up.”
You exchanged nuggets of information about each others pasts, and soon, you were sure that Bucky knew enough about you to write your biography. You felt surprisingly fine, opening up to him about anything and everything.
The seasons passed in a flash, and it was suddenly the one year anniversary of your joining the team. You found Bucky in the kitchen once again, at 3AM on a Thursday. You had a smile ready on your face, though your limbs ached. They were littered with bruises and cuts from your latest mission, but seeing him put a bounce in your step.
Bucky was staring down at his phone, the glow illuminating his face in the semi-darkness. It was chiming loudly with notifications, his expression unreadable.
“What’s that?” you asked, making your presence known.
Bucky already had a glass of milk out for you. He placed his phone down, grimacing.
“Sam got me doing this online dating thing,” he said casually. Your smile fell, unable to hide your surprise. “Modern dating is kind of crazy. Women are so much bolder than in the 40s."
Online dating? What?
“I didn’t know you started online dating,” you said, trying to keep your voice light. You didn’t even know Bucky was Iooking to date. You were deflated - any hopes that Bucky returned your crush were promptly dashed. You tried to swallow your disappointment.
“I wasn’t, really,” he said. “I guess it’s not the worst idea, though.”
Damn you, Sam Wilson, you thought.
“You meet women in real life all the time,” you said, taking your usual seat across him. “No one catch your interest?” You played nonchalantly with your fingers, trying not to pick your nails - a nervous habit.
Bucky pursed his lips, eyes landing on you for a moment before he looked at the ceiling.
“Ah, I don’t know.”
“You met anyone nice so far?” you probed, your jealousy spiking.
“Early days,” he responded. He slid his phone across the surface of the island, showing you the dating app he had open. The girls were plentiful, all beautiful and clearly enthusiastic. Bucky’s inbox was full of flirtatious greetings, but you noticed he hadn’t yet responded to a single one.
“Hmm.” You struggled to keep your face neutral. You felt the sinking realization that he must have never thought of you that way. Otherwise, why would he be looking for someone when you were right there?
You couldn't focus properly on the conversation anymore, your mind racing as Bucky moved the topic onto something unrelated.
Fantasising about Bucky had been dangerous. You had spent so much time imagining the day you would finally confess, and he would reciprocate your feelings and you would have the happy relationship you yearned for. Even if you didn’t confess first, you were hoping he would.
Up until now, you had sometimes told yourself that Bucky was just being patient. That he was old-fashioned, so he was taking his time in courting you.
You realized now that you were simply never considered an option.
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The next few weeks were torturous. Christmas was fast-approaching, but you were far from being in the festive mood. You had to put on a front with Bucky now, pretend everything was alright and not feel too tempted to ask about the progress of his dating life. Things were tough, and you were feeling unhappier day by day.
You had always known, deep down, that your feelings for him were more than just a crush, and had been for many months. It ached, the feeling of knowing your emotions were not returned.
One horrible part of you wondered why. Were you not sexy enough? Not smart enough? Not charming enough?
Maybe all of the above.
Seeing Bucky nowadays made you ache. You found yourself feeling sad whenever he cracked jokes with you, shared his thoughts with you, when the backs of his hands brushed against yours as you walked side by side.
He would find someone that he actually wanted to be with, to do all that and more. It wasn’t his fault, and you knew he had no idea that you were in so much pain, that he had single handedly eviscerated you.
Tony's Christmas party was a perfect opportunity to drown your sorrows. So cliché. You knew it was a bad idea, but that didn't stop you knocking back drink after drink by the bar, ignoring Natasha's requests to dance. After all, if all the Hollywood rom-coms you had watched were any indication, this was one of the key steps to getting over a guy.
The party was kicking off, and the room was spinning like a ride at a fairground. Your alcohol tolerance had always been low, and now you were paying for your actions. Your skin was burning hot and prickling, and you were struggling to walk straight. Although, this was exactly what you wanted - it was somehow cathartic, purging you of all the pent of frustration inside.
A dark figure appeared in your eye line. Your vision refocused until you realized who it was - your favorite, handsome face was looking very annoyed right now, mouth set in a firm line.
“You’re drunk,” Bucky stated, his voice filled with annoyance.
“Duh.”
“I’m taking you back to your room,” he said, his hand latching around your bicep.
“No,” you said indignantly, jerking away. Your face blanched at the sudden movement. “I don’t feel well."
Bucky rolled his eyes, opting to steer you towards the balcony instead for some fresh air. He shut the French doors behind you, allowing the silent night air to consume you, isolating the two of you from the crowd.
“Sit,” he said, gently helping you down onto a wrought iron bench. “What were you thinking? You know you can’t drink.”
“I know.”
“Something wrong?” Bucky knew that the answer was yes - there was no other reason for you to be drinking unless you were upset or mad.
“I wanted to forget,” you croaked, leaning your head back to get a proper look at him. The sight of him devastated you. He looked so beautiful, so far out of your reach.
“Forget what?”
You stared up at the ink black sky, at the stars. The night air was cool against your burning skin. Everything was quiet, save the sound of his breathing in your ear as he leaned close to you. In that intoxicated moment, you thought you had nothing to lose, forgetting that Bucky was truly your everything.
“How much I love you,” you whispered, tilting your head to look at him through beseeching eyes.
Bucky sucked in a breath of air. His entire stance became rigid at your words. The way you stared at him imploringly confirmed that he hadn’t misheard.
“How long?” He was frowning even as you gave him a trembling, sad smile.
“A long time.”
He raised his hand as if he wanted to touch you, but settled it back down on his thigh. Your face crumpled at his obvious discomfort.
“I don’t know what to say,” he breathed.
Those words alone were enough to make your throat tighten and the needles in your chest multiply ten-fold.
“Tell me you feel the same way,” you said suddenly. It was a plead. You hated how desperate you were in this moment, but you needed him to know how you felt, and you needed to know whether you had a chance. Call it liquid courage, but you felt like you had nothing to lose when you grasped one of his calloused hands in yours.
Bucky was silent for a long time, staring at you with sadness and regret in his eyes. You hated how uncomfortable you must’ve been making him. God, what were you thinking, burdening him with your feelings and putting him in this position? You scolded yourself mentally, feeling nauseous.
Your hand was tight around his, your knuckles white. With every silent second that passed, your fingers loosened, falling limp. His hand was warm, yet you had never felt so cold.
He pulled his hand free, clenching it into a fist.
“I’m sorry,” he said finally. Each word was a knife sinking into your chest. The realization hit you suddenly, thick and sour.
You felt bile rise in your throat. You stood up then, the floor shaking beneath you. You almost collapsed.
“Be careful - ”
“Oh god,” you whispered, squeezing your eyes shut. “I’m sorry. I need to go.”
You darted away with surprising speed, wrenching the doors open and hurrying back inside the room. You ignored the sounds of him calling you as you rushed through the crowd, trying to put one foot steadily in front of you and praying you wouldn’t fall.
Don’t cry. Don’t cry. Don’t cry.
You held the tears in until you returned to your bedroom, slamming the door shut. You bolted into the en-suite and fell onto your knees in front of the toilet, the acid in your throat finally seeing the surface as you vomited.
Your stomach heaved, emptying yourself of all its contents. But you couldn’t get rid of the horrible, cloying feeling in your gut that came with Bucky’s rejection.
You fell asleep on the bathroom floor, tear tracks on your face and fresh wound in your heart.
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You were dreading seeing him the next morning. Thankfully, you arrived in the conference room before he did. The others were there already, gathered around the table. Sam took one look at you and snickered. You were dressed in black, hair in disarray and a pair of large sunglasses on your face.
“Someone had a bit too much fun last night,” he sang.
You grimaced, closing your eyes at the way his voice boomed in your overly sensitive ears. “Stop shouting,” you croaked.
Bucky entered a few minutes later. You kept your head down, refusing to look at him or otherwise acknowledge his presence. To the others, your hostility could be passed off as a result of your clear hangover. But the excruciating humiliation of your confession to him hung between the two of you, making you squirm in your seat.
You didn’t speak for the rest of the meeting, keeping your sunglasses on and staring stoically at Steve as he delivered the mission briefing. As soon as he dismissed the team, you jogged out of the room, but was accosted by Bucky in the hallway.
“Can we talk?” he asked loudly.
You didn’t want to make a scene. You put a fake smile on.
“Sure.” Your eyes were still swollen behind your dark shades as you tried not to let the sight of him bring out any more tears.
He led you into an empty room a few doors down. His face was set like stone, only the slightest crease in his forehead hinting at something akin to distress.
“I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings,” he said carefully.
“It’s okay.” You winced in discomfort, even just the sound of your own voice bringing you pain. You wondered if he had rehearsed a speech, to let you down easy.
“You should never drink that much again.” His voice was sharp, critical.
“I can take care of myself,” you said, taken aback by his tone.
“It’s not worth it,” he said, his attitude easing up. “I’m not worth it. I don’t want you to feel this way because of me."
You felt your shoulders sag. You felt so tired, defeated.
"I can't control the way I feel," you whispered.
Bucky kept a reasonable distance between the two of you, like he was afraid to go near you now that the pair of you were alone. You wished you could read his mind, know what he was thinking.
His next words were chilling. "You’re my friend, and I care a lot about you.”
The emphasis on the word ‘friend’ didn’t go unnoticed. The way he looked at you was orchestrated, pointed. He was letting you know, in no uncertain terms, what he wanted to say. You were almost grateful that he didn’t directly bring up how you had told him you loved him, as if to save you your last shred of dignity.
He stared at you now with such intensity, the meaning clear in the way he looked at you. We are just friends.
He was doing you a favour. Still, your heart shattered. Your hands were shaking. There it was again - that awful, stinging pain of rejection.
“Okay,” you said faintly.
“I'm sorry if I ever made you think that we could be anything more," he began. Tears gathered in the corners of your eyes.
“Let’s not do this,” you interrupted. If he kept speaking, you felt like you might die. You wished the ground would swallow you up.
Bucky licked his lips but remained silent.
“Please..." You hated how your voice shook. "I would really appreciate it if we could just move on. Let’s not bring this up again. It would really help me.”
Bucky folded his arms tightly across his chest, nodding stiffly.
“Okay.”
You backed away from him, grateful your eyes were hidden. You left the room and didn’t look back.
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You managed to act normal around Bucky. Well, semi-normal. The rest of the team didn't even seem to notice anything was amiss - you still spoke to Bucky, managed to look at him as if the very sight didn't break your heart, kept a smile on your face.
But that was in front of them. For anything else which wasn't out of necessity or mission-related, you avoided interacting with him. When you woke up in the middle of the night, you no longer plodded into the kitchen, instead staying in your bed, sobbing and staring at the ceiling.
You no longer laughed and joked with him. You turned your attention to the others instead, talking to Steve and Clint and Natasha and whoever else was there, in a desperate attempt to hide the fact that you were trying to keep it together. You wanted to keep your mind distracted.
It was horrible.
Things would not be the same again, at least not for a little while. You needed time to make yourself get over him.
It was easier, when Bucky returned to the compound one night with a blonde on his arm. She was giggling and clinging onto him, and your heart sank when they stumbled into the elevator just as you were making your way to your floor.
You couldn't have been more shocked at the sight of them. Bucky had red prints all over his cheeks, and her lipstick was smeared. The smell of alcohol was in the air.
"You're not supposed to have civilians in here," was the only thing you managed to say, shock infiltrating your system. The blonde giggled.
"Oops."
Bucky only shrugged, his hand slipping into hers as the elevator rose. Your heart clenched.
He was doing this on purpose. He wanted to show you that he had no interest in you, leave you without any doubts. You didn’t know that Bucky had it in him, to be so cruel. If you weren't trying to hold back your tears, you would've almost felt impressed by his antics. The worst thing was, you truly understood why he was doing this.
You think you may have hated him in that moment.
The elevator doors dinged open, and you stumbled out. Tears began prickling in your eyes, and you were sure Bucky could see.
You didn't say anything as you marched to your room, the elevator doors sliding shut.
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You had always been good at pretending. Pretending you were happy when you weren't, pretending you were calm when you were furious, pretending you knew the answer when you didn't.
Bucky saw past a lot of that. He could tell when you were lying, could see when you were holding back. He read you like an open book.
He was important to you, and still would be even if he had rejected your confession and rubbed the presence of another girl in your face. You told yourself that it was a good thing - he was performing a service, encouraging you to move on. Besides, he didn't owe you a thing. He could do whatever he wanted with anyone else.
You couldn't lie convincingly to yourself.
Bucky's birthday rolled around all too quickly. You had it marked in your calendar, though you would've remembered even without the reminder.
Despite your conflicted feelings, you wanted to get him a gift. You had planned the perfect one months ago and had enlisted Bruce's help in finding it. You still wanted to see the look on his face when he opened it.
Bucky roamed the hallways on your floor the morning of his birthday, frowning slightly when your bedroom door opened, Bruce appearing in the frame. He caught a glimpse of where you were perched on your bed, face flushed in mild excitement.
Bucky gave Bruce a smile which may have looked more like a grimace, the latter giving him a polite nod before continuing on. Your door swung inwards, but Bucky stuck a hand between it and the frame, poking his head through.
"What's that all about?" he asked, curiosity getting the better of him.
You shuffled something behind your back. You hadn't spoken to Bucky much as of late, barely acknowledging any of the awkward encounters that had occurred in the past months, instead choosing to face him with a professional-politeness.
"Nothing," you said, not particularly aware of what it would look like to have Bruce emerge from your bedroom.
"Is something going on between you two?" he asked directly. He gave a laugh void of humor, the sound escaping him in a huff. "Do you have a thing for emotionally damaged men?" He gestured to himself with his vibranium arm.
The small smile on your lips fell. Anger simmered in your eyes.
How could he? How could he reduce his feelings for you to nothing and stomp on them like it was trash?
You stood and marched towards him, a wave of fury overcoming you, thrusting a wrapped parcel into his hands.
"He helped me get your present, actually. Happy birthday," you spat, watching as Bucky's mouth fell open silently. You pushed past him, unable to look him in the eyes, feeling your stomach twist.
Bucky remained rooted to the spot, fiddling with the wrapping paper hesitantly before he ripped it open.
It was a first edition copy of 'The Grapes of Wrath', excellent condition. The subject of Bucky's favorite books came up after your first encounter when you saw him reading 'The Hobbit'.
"Is it about angry grapes?" you had asked, confused when Bucky laughed. He promised he would buy it and lend you the book one day.
Bucky's ground his teeth, every cell in his body telling him to go after you. But, for all the reasons he had told himself since the day of your confession, he made himself stay put.
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Bucky had missed out on a lot in his life since falling off that train in the Austrian Alps. His whole trajectory had changed, and instead of growing old in his century, he found himself in the 21st, thrust into the modern world and navigating his new life.
He always thought, back in the 40s, that he would meet a nice girl and settle down after the war. He would live in a cozy, tiny home and have three kids, maybe four.
He missed out on that and more - though he had been quite the playboy back in his time, he had never experienced true love. He had never met that one woman he would die for.
Bucky had commented off-hand once on how lucky Steve was to meet Peggy before he went into the ice. Steve had reminisced on that with a bittersweet smile, before telling him, you’ll find your Peggy.
Falling in love with you had blindsided him. At first, he viewed you as a friend, a sweet girl who he grew to trust.
Then, he realized that he was slowly being drawn to you, like magnets he couldn’t pull apart. He realized that everything you did was endearing, that you occupied his thought space all the time, that having you around helped him feel comfortable, safe.
You were young, determined, and so innocent. You were somebody who deserved someone as pure and good as you. You weren’t his Peggy - you were something more, so unique and unapologetically you, and he wanted you as his person so badly.
But you deserved someone good. Somebody like Steve, who stood for the best values and only acted for the good of mankind. Not someone morally-gray and jaded like Bucky.
He wanted someone to spend his life with, for sure. If he couldn’t have his idyllic life in the post-war period, then he still wanted to find a partner in this new, still-unfamiliar time.
You fit that profile. He wanted you.
But he would never forgive himself if he weighed you down with his sins.
When you told him you loved him, his heart had broke. He wanted to tell you how much he valued you, how he dreamed of kissing you. He wanted to be a part of your happy ending.
But how much of a happy ending could he really give you? Could he give you children, knowing they would always be in danger from his enemies? Could he give you a wedded, domestic life, when all he knew was how to fight and cause pain?
He had to make his sacrifice for the greater good. Even if he had to crush you, he had to do it.
Someone like Bucky wasn’t supposed to get happy endings. You were, but just not with him.
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You couldn't stand to be around him anymore. It was affecting your concentration, your work. It reached a breaking point two weeks after Bucky's birthday, when you requested to speak to Steve privately.
"You want to leave?" he asked, his face appalled.
You nodded curtly. "You’ll still be able to contact me, if you really need me. But I don't think I can stay here anymore."
Steve didn't look as confused at your profession as you expected.
"Is this about Bucky?"
You cringed. God, did he know about everything that happened?
"I don't know what's going on between the two of you," he clarified quickly, "but I can see that something happened. He's not the same, either."
"I'm not in a good place right now," you admitted shamefully. "I'm not saying that this is goodbye forever, Steve. But for my own sanity, I think I need a break."
Steve heaved a sigh. "I know you wouldn't ask unless you really needed it. And you don't need my permission, you know."
"I know," you said, giving him a small smile. "But I just wanted to let you know that I'll be here whenever the team needs it. Emergencies only," you joked. "But for now I think I'll get out of here. Maybe go upstate."
"Have you told him?"
"Don't need to," you said, defensiveness creeping into your voice.
"I think he would like to know."
“We’re not really on speaking terms,” you said bluntly.
Steve clasped a heavy hand on your shoulder. He knew better than to argue. He was sure you’d figure things out for yourself, anyway. “I’ll miss you.”
Now that you had completed the professional courtesy, you decided that you would leave in a few days. You still had some matters to wrap up, and to say goodbye to your teammates. You loved them, and they deserved a proper farewell.
"This isn't goodbye," Nat had said sternly, pulling you into a tight hug. Her voice was quiet and soft in your ear as she whispered, "If you need me, I'll be there."
You squeezed her tight, threatening to tear up. "Thank you."
"Keep your ass out of trouble," Clint had said, winking at you. “And check in with us now and again, yeah?”
Sam was clearly unhappy about everything. And he definitely noticed that you had picked a day to make your announcement when Bucky was conveniently away from the compound.
"Am I gonna see you again?" he asked, raising his eyebrows after you'd embraced.
"Couldn't get rid of me if you tried," you promised, punching his arm.
You retired to your bedroom that night, sure that Bucky would hear the news later after he came back. You kept your phone switched off and door locked for the rest of the evening, making sure the your belongings were packed.
Just past midnight, you crept out of your room, duffel bag over your shoulder. You made your way through the compound, down the floors into the underground garage. Bucky's motorbike wasn't there - he still hadn't returned.
You were grateful. You climbed into your car, and tossed your belongings in the back. You had to stop thinking about him - if you let yourself do it for too long, you were afraid you wouldn’t be able to go.
With a heavy heart, you left this chapter of your life behind.
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Your phone rang for days afterwards. Missed calls, voicemails left unanswered, texts left unread.
You couldn't bear to face him. If you pretended he didn't exist, maybe it would ease the pain.
You didn't know where you were driving to. You simply knew you had to get as far away as possible, clear your head. You were at a crossroads, and you needed to pull yourself together, but for now you would allow yourself to wallow.
You had been spending each night in a different motel. Wake up, drive, sleep. Wake up, drive, sleep. You wanted to put as much distance between yourself and Bucky Barnes as possible.
You had no idea how you had gotten everything so wrong. Did you really misinterpret the signals? Was every intimate moment between the two of you simply platonic?
You didn't want to feel so beat up over a guy, but he wasn't just any guy. He was the first man you had ever loved.
Life was funny, sometimes. You supposed that you couldn't always expect happy endings.
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You kicked open the door of the latest motel, a bag of takeout in your hands. You noticed the dark, shadowy figure on your bed in an instant, your hand sliding to the dagger sheathed in your belt on reflex. Before your brain even had time to catch up with what you were seeing, you had aimed and launched it, shocked when a familiar voice rang out.
"Calm down, tiger," he rasped. The bedside light flicked on, and Bucky was suddenly there, twirling your dagger between his fingers. He tossed it to the side, letting it land on the carpet with a soft thud.
A week had passed since you last saw him. Seeing him sent an electrifying jolt straight through your core.
"What are you doing here?" you asked. You were shocked, but your first thought was that something terrible had happened. "Is it the team? Are they in danger?"
Bucky looked irate, his jaw clenching and unclenching. His hands were knotted together, worry hiding beneath his anger.
"I've been calling you for days. You left without saying goodbye. Hell, you left without saying anything." His voice was gruff and accusatory.
That gave you the answer you needed. The team were fine, and he was simply here to rant. You felt the initial shock of his appearance wear off.
He stood up and stepped towards you, and that was when you noticed the state he was in. His usually close shaven beard was slightly unkempt, and his eyes were bloodshot. He looked worn out.
"Yeah," you retorted, "I kind of did that on purpose."
"Why?" His voice was a whisper. "Why would you do that?"
You were exasperated. You did not envision yourself having to explain your decisions to him. His appearance both delighted and depressed you. It was tiring, having these two sides battle each other whenever you saw him. Your love for him versus his heavy rejection.
"I can't be around you anymore," you admitted, your voice tight. "I thought I could, but I can't."
"Why the hell not?" he pressed stubbornly.
"You know why!" you cried out. "Why are you doing this to me, Bucky? I told you I loved you and, okay, you don't love me. Fair enough," you said, frustrated. "But to go out of your way to hurt me? Remind me that I'm nothing more than a friend? Bring other girls back to the compound so you can fuck them?"
Bucky flinched. "I never - "
"No!" you shouted, cutting him off. "You don't get to do this, Bucky." You felt wetness on your cheeks, and realized you were crying. It only made you more exasperated. "You don't get to tear my heart out of my chest and come here when I've been trying to get away from you."
He stormed up to you, hands reaching for you, but you batted him away.
"Don't!" Your hand hit his chest, barely moving him an inch. "Just stop! Please!" Your voice broke, and you shook with tears. The dam had broke, and seeing him here was just too much.
"Please don't cry," he pleaded, his face anguished.
"What are you doing here?" you asked, your voice breaking. "What do you want from me?"
Bucky looked so upset, taking another step forward, but you walked backwards until you hit the door.
"You don't want me," you exclaimed through your tears. You needed him to understand how much pain you were in just by seeing him. "You can't be here, Bucky. I can't look at you and remember how you just don't love me back."
Bucky pulled you into his arms, tightening them when you struggled. He was stronger than you - you had no choice but to become a prisoner against his chest. You were crying as you had many times before in his hold, but this time it felt different. Your heart was pounding and you were aching, wanting to melt into him but also aware of the anger and sadness flaring within you. It was torture.
"It hurts too much," you managed to get out through your wailing sobs.
He didn't say anything until you stilled. He let you cry, your tears soaking through his shirt. Your quiet sniffs and hiccups accompanied his words when he finally spoke.
"You weren't supposed to appear in my life," he said, his voice tense. "You weren't supposed to be so wonderful, so comforting. You made me feel so safe."
You didn't say anything, confusion rendering you temporarily speechless.
"I thought I was fine on my own. I've been a soldier all my life, just focusing on fighting everyone else's battles. And then I met you."
You had no idea where this was going as Bucky's arms seemed to tighten all the more around you.
"It felt...strange, how I wanted to kiss you. How I wanted you there, next to me, all the time.”
You looked up at Bucky, really taking in his exhausted eyes, his chapped lips, the way he was looking at you now with an exquisite softness.
"I felt like I was doing something wrong. I thought - I don't want to - ruin you," he said. "You are so young and have your whole future ahead of you and I didn't want to bring you down with all of me. My history, my demons, my baggage. And I ended up hurting you."
A spark of hope appeared, wanting to ignite into a flame. You expelled a shaky breath.
"Do you love me?" you asked, your fingers digging into his shoulders as he continued to hold you.
He nodded, his words like velvet. "How could I not? Of course I love you."
Of course, he said. But your insecurities prevailed, and you shook your head.
"You did a good job of hiding it," you said sadly.
Bucky closed his eyes regretfully.
"I know. I don't know what I was thinking. I thought if I could push you away, make you fall out of love with me, you would find someone worthy."
"What makes you think you're not worthy?" you retorted.
"Some days, I feel like no amount of good deeds I do can redeem me," he murmured.
"Bucky," you said slowly. "You're one of the best men I've ever known. Your heart is so kind."
"I'm sorry." He grasped one of your hands, brought it to his lips, kissing the back of your hand. "I'm sorry I hurt you. Part of me thought you would shrug, get over it and find someone else."
Your smile was full of sorrow. "Then you have no idea how much you truly mean to me.
Bucky cupped the side of your face. Seeing you in this state had truly been a wake up call for him. When he found out you had left the compound, all his resolve had crumbled. He realized that he had hurt you so deeply that you couldn’t physically be around him. That was when he knew that the connection between the two of you was too rare to let it slip, when he felt an immense pain at the idea of never seeing you again.
Having you in front of him now was heartbreaking. Your eyes were puffy, and you looked tired and so frail. He loved you, and you were supposed to take care of the people you loved. He swore on his life that he would dedicate himself to showing you what you really meant to him.
"When you asked me what I'm doing here," Bucky said, a hopeful smile on his face, "It's to tell you that I love you, so much. And I'm here to take you home."
You nodded, fresh tears filling your eyes, except this time they were borne from happiness.
"Let's go."
He had already packed your belongings for you, you realized when he released you to hoist your bags over his shoulder, which he had placed by the door. He paused, slipping his hand into his pocket and placing a tiny kid-sized carton into your hand. "Almost forgot. For the journey."
Chocolate milk.
You threw your arms around him, jumping to hook your legs around his hips. He dropped your bags as you kissed him, his hands reaching to support your thighs as he returned it with equal passion.
"This room is paid for," you gasped into his mouth. "Let's go back tomorrow."
He was silent when he walked back to fall onto the bed with you on top of him, his mouth never once leaving yours.
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thefreakandthehair · 23 days
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I just wanna see that smile
wc: 1.1k | tags: canon-compliant injury/recovery, hospital setting, getting together, (brief and inferred mutual) pining, first kiss
a/n: happy (belated) birthday to my pal, @firefly-party! kei drew this piece last year and it was one of the first artworks we talked about when we became friends. this series has continued to live in my brain ever since, so I decided to write a little something in the universe!
Eddie woke up on March 26th, 1986 and Steve’s waited patiently for this moment ever since. 
Well, patient is a misnomer— he’d waited quietly to anyone not named Robin or Dustin. Robin, because she knows him too well and there’s no point in trying to hide anything from her and Dustin, because he’d apparently grown up overnight and pieced together that Steve sitting at Eddie’s bedside and holding his fucking hand every time he waltzed into the room meant something. 
Or maybe it was when Steve gave Eddie all of his rings back, sliding them carefully onto his shaking fingers with a comforting smile. 
Or maybe when Eddie sat up unassisted for the first time and Steve nearly hit the ceiling, bracing him in a panic as if all of his stitches and staples would burst with the tiny movement he’d been working toward in physical therapy. 
Hell, maybe it was Steve taking over some of Eddie’s care for himself, washing his hair and braiding it because the staff at Hawkins Memorial are doing nothing more than the bare minimum to make sure they don’t get sued, or even more frightening, reamed out by the new duo of Hopper and Wayne again. Either way, his hair was making Steve’s own scalp itchy. 
Dustin never tells Steve what it was exactly that tipped him off but whatever it was, it’s enough for Dustin to give Steve the floor when Eddie’s getting ready to discharge back home. And that’s how, exactly two months later to the day from Eddie waking up, Steve enters Eddie’s otherwise empty room armed with a special treat in the form of milkshakes to find Eddie pouring over an unfortunately familiar stack of papers. 
“NDA?” Steve asks, nodding at the papers in Eddie’s lap. He’s upright, fully dressed in the black sweatpants Jeff brought by and a cut off Metallica tee shirt, bandages around his stomach and neck. 
Eddie mutters as he reads under his breath, eyes flitting across the page. 
“How the fuck do they expect any of us common folk to understand a fucking word of this? Hereby? Wherein? Hitherto? What fucking year did I wake up in, man?”
“Yeah, I think the whole point is that you don’t read what you’re signing but I’ll let you in on a little secret.” Steve huffs a small laugh through his nose as he steps carefully around Eddie’s crutches. “You may as well just sign it because if you don’t, they’ll forge it anyway. Now finish signing your life rights away so you can have this milkshake with me.” 
Eddie perks up, looking away from the mess of papers and smiling up at Steve with a smile so genuine, it punches the air out of his lungs. He keeps looking at him like this, like Steve’s a breath of fresh air, like he's someone Eddie wants to have around. 
Steve isn’t sure what to do with that look yet, but he’s sure glad it’s there. 
“Celebration milkshakes? Is this a freedom gift?” Eddie signs the NDA quickly and sets the pen down on the bed next to him. 
“It sure is. Figured this could make up for all those lame popsicles from the cafeteria.” 
The mattress creaks as Steve sits down on the edge, just to the side of the railing, and hands Eddie the strawberry treat. Their fingers graze, Steve’s chilled and Eddie’s warm. His hand is still a little shaky, trembling as he takes hold of the cup, but they’re warm and warm means alive. 
Eddie’s hand can tremble for the rest of his goddamn life so long as it’s always warm. 
They each take a sip, smooth ice cream slurping up their straws, and after a moment, Eddie sighs.
“Is it weird that I’m actually sort of worried about leaving?” 
Steve’s eyebrows knit together, looking down at Eddie’s rings glinting beneath the offensive fluorescent lights above them.
“What are you worried about?”
“Uh, well, I did almost die. And the town still wishes I did. It’s a lot easier to make those dreams a reality outside of these walls, y’know? And I’m uh…” Steve watches as Eddie takes a breath and Steve suddenly misses the early days when Eddie was connected to the heart rate monitor. 
“You’re…?” Steve presses, sipping his milkshake again to appear casual. 
“I see you all the time here. Guess I just don’t want that to change.” 
Steve’s heart skips a beat, clattering in his chest and pounding at his ribs, desperately trying to crack him right open and run to the man who’s claimed it. Eddie watches him with cautious eyes, opens his mouth to say something else but Steve cuts him off before he can take it back. 
“Why do you think that’d change? Forest Hills is a lot closer than this shithole, and you won’t be kept under lock and key. And as for the first thing, well, Wayne and Nancy have a lot in common and I have a bat loaded up with nails in the trunk of my car.” Steve rests his free hand on Eddie’s knee. “No one's gonna fuck with you. Don’t worry about that.” 
“You sound a little cocky there, Stevie.” Eddie lifts one eyebrow, glancing from Steve’s hand up to his eyes. “Ready to fight for my honor or something?”
“Yep.” 
He hadn’t brought the milkshakes intending to use them as props, but he’s glad he has something to do to fill the space as Eddie watches him with questioning eyes. As he slurps through the straw, grating noise still preferable over the awkward silence, Eddie’s pinched expression turns softer, realization dawning between the stark white walls of the hospital and the pink ice cream in both of their hands. 
“You’re serious.” Eddie says. 
“Took you that long to figure that out?” Steve teases. 
“I’ve been a little busy with learning how to breathe and walk again. Y’know, just little things.” Eddie rolls his eyes with that same fond smile, free hand lacing its fingers through Steve’s. “So what you’re saying is that I’ll see you just as much outside of this prison as I have inside of it?” 
Steve shrugs. “Probably even more, honestly. There are no visiting hours at Wayne’s, and it’s not like I have a job to rush off to these days. You’re stuck with me, Ed. At least for as long as you want me around.” 
Eddie snorts, unceremoniously scoffing in Steve’s face as if in disbelief.
“Don’t make promises like that. What happens when I never want you to leave?” 
The air shifts, growing heavier as they find themselves leaning closer, two satellites orbiting one another by nothing but gravitational pull. 
Steve’s not sure who actually closes the gap, but he finds himself with his lips pressed against Eddie’s— sweet, chilled, a little chapped but smiling against his. Months of waiting, of hoping that he’d get this opportunity, come to a deafening crescendo and it takes all of his discipline to not push. Instead, they pull apart and Steve smiles, tucking loose hair behind Eddie’s ear. 
“That’s easy. I’d just never leave.”
fun fact: kei, I wrote your birthday down in my calendar as the 28th for some reason, a solid ten days late, so know that this was planned from the get-go but was just a tad bit late.
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Rescue pt. 2: knight!price x princess!reader
Warnings: talk of pregnancy, medieval standards for women
A little longer than normal
Sir John Price’s hands were gentler than they looked.
He led you to the river when he saw the cut on your arm, and had you sit on a nearby rock. He barely said a word to you, just merely told you to sit while he grabbed a pouch out of his horses saddle and went to the river.
When he returned, he came back with a wet rag and kneeled beside you. He hesitated to touch you before he gently began to clean the blood from your skin.
You expected him to hold your arm firmly, to pull at your skin and create friction but instead he held you delicately. He was careful as he cleaned your wound, his gentleness a stark contrast to the bloodshed he created just moments before.
Every touch from his warm fingers made goosebumps form and set your skin aflame.
You jerked when the wound stung and he stopped.
“I’m sorry, my hands are rougher than most.” He apologized as if he caused the wound.
You’re at a loss of what to say.
You’d never seen this side to him, to the knight who you bickered and fought with, who you were sure hated your guts, who had become your shadow. You thought he was incapable of it, or at the very least incapable of showing this side to you.
“It was irresponsible for you to run off like that.” He scolded you and you scowled.
“Save the lecture, I’m not a child.” You snapped at him and his eyes narrowed.
“You run off into the forest without a care, you play into fantasies about secret admirers and ignore your duty as a princess-“
“Watch the way you speak to me.”
“Someone should tell you the truth, I’m not afraid of you.”
You pushed him away and stood up. You hated the way hands shook as you glared at him.
“You know nothing about me!” You shouted. “My entire life is for my people and I have always put them first. I spend every moment waiting for the day I’m sold like cattle in the name of peace while everyone looks at me like I’m a prize to be won.”
Your mouth moved faster than your thoughts. It was improper to your knight this, to even speak of your thoughts like this out loud but you were at your wits end.
“I listen to others boast about themselves so I can choose them while they don’t even see me-“
“You seemed happy when the king did it-“
“Because it’s my duty! If I don’t marry him then i am failure…I am nothing more than a link in a chain of security.”
Your throat was tight and you could hardly breathe.
“My life has never been my choice.” You choked out. “I am destined to be an object that creates an heir and thrown to the side once I’ve served my purpose.”
Price was silent and your ragged breaths were the only thing that took up the air.
You felt awful for your feelings. These things were irresponsible, you were selfishly thinking more about yourself than the greater good but you were so desperate for something different.
“Why did you run?” Price asked, his tone softer.
You blinked as the back of your eyes stung with tears.
“I had to get away.”
Your emotions swirled like a storm within you, your thoughts a mess. The attack, your marriage, his kindness, it was all too much.
A surge of tears hit you and you sat down on the rock again, hiding your face in your hands as they began to fall down your face. You stifled your sobs because you didn’t want to degrade yourself anymore in front of him.
He stepped in front of you.
“Your highness, do you wish to marry the king?” Price’s voice was calm and firm yet there was a softness that struck your chest.
“I have to-“
“No.”
Your eyebrows knitted together and you looked up from your hands.
Price kneeled in front of you, much like how squires are when they wait for the Queen to knight them so they can serve the kingdom. His cold blue eyes stared at you as if he waited for a command, a sort of devotion only one could have for someone who they served implicitly.
He waited patiently for you to answer, his eyes trained on your face as you wiped away your tears.
You debated on whether you should say it or not, but he already thought you irresponsible. What more did you have to lose?
“No.”
Price stated at you for a moment before he seemed to come to terms with what you said. There was a sense of finality in his eyes as he nodded, before he stood and pulled out the pouch.
“Let me finish tending to your wound, your highness.” He began to apply a salve that cool the irritation of your cut. “Then I’ll escort you back to the castle.”
You didn’t protest as he wrapped the wound with a cloth.
After he had helped you on his horse he led you through the forest back towards the castle. You were still at war with yourself, utterly exhausted and a mess of emotions as you sealed your fate to be married to the king in just a week.
You tried to control your tears which only led to more falling as you sniffled like a child.
“I’m sorry.” You’re not sure why or what you apologized for.
“I won’t judge you.” He assured you. “Even if you stain the saddle.”
You scoffed, a smile pulling at your lips even as you let a few more tears slip.
Once you were back at the castle he helped you down from his horse, his hand against yours creating a sort of shock between the both of you before you bid him goodnight.
You did your best to hid your wound until you were in the safety of your bedchamber, where you found yourself having finally given up on being free.
~
Sir John Price had never felt such anger when he saw you cry.
It had never really occurred to him that you would feel the way you did, trapped and worthless, when you were more than that. He never realized that the suitors who he thought you entertained because you wanted to, made you feel that way, that he made you feel that way.
He’d think more on it if he had the time. He wanted to do more than what he was going to do, but there was only so much a knight could do.
Your tears and words stirred something inside him.
Price watched you enter the castle, his hand trembling from your touch. Your skin was softer than he imagined, warmer than the rays of the sun, and had sent a current of electricity through him.
What he was about to do was risky, but he was willing to take that leap if it meant it dried your tears.
He returned to the barracks, where he had called a meeting between his own men before he managed to catch a glimpse of you running to the forest.
He was lucky he had got there in time. He felt sick thinking about what would’ve happened if he hadn’t. The rage he felt seeing blood on you was unprecedented for him.
Fate seemed to be in his favor however. Sir Simon Riley had returned from the king’s kingdom after he had sent him there for information as he refused to let the Queen marry you off without first knowing who the king was.
From what he saw today, he was not much. Even a knight like himself could see the taint he carried and he couldn’t believe the Queen allowed it, so he hoped that she didn’t know any better.
He desperation to marry you off was worrisome but he didn’t have time for that.
“What did you find?” Price asked when he returned to the table.
“A declaration of war, yet to be announced.” Simon set the scroll on the table. “And no money.”
“Steamin’ Jesus, he wants to pulls us into war.” Sir John MacTavish uncrossed his arms in disbelief.
“We’re not equipped for this.” Kyle said and looked to Price. “Not without proper preparation.”
Price stared at the pieces of paper. The audacity the king had to exploit the Queen in such a way, knowing that he could’ve had support if he had asked, but perhaps he wanted to assurance there would be if he married you, especially since he had no money.
It would embarrass her. It was enough reason to call of the wedding.
Enough reason to save you.
The moment you told him that you truly did not want to marry the king, he told himself he would find a way to break the marriage between the two of you by any means necessary.
“The Queen won’t stand for this.” Price swayed his hips. “I’ll notify her immediately.”
“Delving into politics, sir?” Kyle teased and he huffed.
“Kate’s gone, I have no choice.”
He took the pieces of paper and walked towards the castle. He was just as convincing as Kate could be and with evidence it wouldn’t be hard.
He was determined to not fail and though it was uncommon for him to show himself at the Queen’s quarters he was not afraid of what she might say to him.
“Your majesty,” he bowed deeply when she answered the door. “I have troubling information about our guest.”
~
The next morning was tense. The throne room lacked the regular court but the Queen and you sat in your throne’s while the king stood the eyes of your mother’s judgement.
Price stood at the bottom of stairs and watched the panic course through the king with indifference.
“You lied to me, to my daughter and expect us to take it lightly?” The Queen’s words were laced with venom.
“It wasn’t a lie, your majesty!” He protested but she raised her hand to stop him.
“I ask for peace and you bring me war, I ask for prosperity and you give me nothing.”
Price glanced at you and noticed the shock on your face. You were told to join your mother suddenly and the new information had been kept tightly sealed until this moment to keep the scandal at a minimum. You had gone into this blind and though he regretted that, he hoped your relief would make up for it.
“We are a strong kingdom who values strong allies, you are more reckless than a wild boar.” The Queen spat and the king sputtered. “I’ll have none of this in my court.”
The king tried to come up with some excuse but The Queen stood up. The air was thick as he looked down her nose at him.
“Sir John,” she said and Price looked to her. “Have your men escort him out the castle.”
“Yes, your majesty.” He bowed as she made her way out of the throne room.
“We will discuss your marriage another day, my darling.” She said to you and all you could do was nod.
Price watched his men escort the king out of throne room and all that was left was him and you.
He turned to you and you shared a look.
You looked surprised but visibly relieved. You stared at him with a sense of awe but also uncertainty as if you couldn’t quite believe what happened. Thought he didn’t outright say it was him, he was sure you had your suspicions about whether or not this was his doing.
He hopes that maybe this would partially make up for his mistakes against you.
“This was irresponsible, Sir John.” You finally said and he raised an eyebrow.
“My duty is to protect the crown…” he argued. “If you’re implying that this was my doing, however I can assure you I had no hand in this.”
You quirked an eyebrow and the corner of your lips twitched. He couldn’t help but admire the twinkle of amusement in your eyes with a sense of awe that struck him harder than anything before.
It was a small lie, one to save face and to provide a chance to keep sentimental feelings at bay for the time being.
“Is that so, sir?”
“It would seem it.”
You stood up and made your way to him. There was a sense of vulnerability within your eyes as you struggled to meet his and he found himself almost begging that you would look at him.
“Thank you.” You said barely above a whisper.
Price blinked a couple times and before he bowed.
“Of course, your highness.”
A/n: what does Price say? Violence and timing? He sure if efficient when it comes to you.
Tags. @deadbranch @makayla-666 @glitterypirateduck @dumbbitchgalore @m0chac0ffee @dragonbe-writing @sleepyoriana @twismare @blush-haze
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stargirlo · 3 months
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whatever she wants ♡.
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your boyfie luvs spoiling you with his money! and he doesn't care if he maxes out his credit card just by spending money on the stuff that you want to buy. he just wants to see his pretty girl happy, that's all. his love language is gift giving, so why not show his love to you by showering you with designer bags and red bottoms?
you're always whining about how he shouldn't give you this many stuff, even if it wasn't a special occasion. but he insists, who is going to stop him?
need your nails done? check, appointment is already made. you're craving oysters? the reservation is booked. want to be on the highest floor of a five-star hotel in singapore? prepare for the breathtaking view baby. your birkin bag is getting old? the order is at your doorstep. need a new tiffany and co bracelet? get in the car and lets buy you a new one.
honestly he knows every clothing brand that you like because he has a list of your wants and needs. whenever you say something like "this sundress is cute." or "these tory burch sandals would go with this, yeah?" he would instantly take note of it and buy it for you the next day. this man is tiring, but you absolutely adore him. not because of his money, but because of the way he treats you.
he treats you with full on royalty, as if you were his queen, in which, you already are. so, you can't help but give him your thanks to him for doing all these things.
"f-fuck baby, is this your thanks f'me..?" he dryly chuckles, slenders fingers slipping through your well styled hair, to which it was ruined by how tight he's gripping your fucking scalp. ouchie.
you nodded eagerly, sucking him off like your life depended on it. moans vibrated against his cock, letting his body jolt in absolute pleasure. he threw his head back, letting you have your way on his cock as it snuggles deep down your warm and tight throat. he can't help but buck his hips upwards into your throat, a stifled moan bubbling through his gritted teeth. a sweat rolls down his forehead, eyebrows knit together as he looks down at the gorgeous view of you being between his legs and sucking his cock to oblivion.
"ye'r such a slut y'know t-that . . . shit-" he hissed in pleasure, inhaling sharply before letting out a groan. your thighs rubbed together, trying to reach out for some friction for yourself while you gave your precious boyfriend a blow job. he lets out a string of curses and praises, murmuring something about how he's going to ruin your pussy after this, and it only turned you on further, feeling a wet patch on your victoria secret thong.
suddenly, you withdrew from his cock, watching a thin string of spit connect from his cock and to your glossy lips. you looked up at him teary-eyed, your plump lips turning into a small "o" shape as you let out shallow breaths. "what's wrong baby? dick t'much to take down ye'r throat?" he mocks, looking down at you with a sneer. how mean.
" 's okay sugar, daddy's gotcha . . . now c'mere," he pants, his pointer and ring finger beckoning you to crawl up his lap, and so you did. as you got yourself situated and comfortable on his lap, his cock occasionally rubbing against your soaked panties that was desperate to be fucked like a useless glory hole. his hands move under your skirt, pulling down the thong away as it revealed your hungry pussy to his eyes. it was glistening with your slick, and he was definitely going to have a field day with this slip 'n slide.
"you're so wet f'me, and all jus' by suckin' my dick." he chuckles, gripping your hips firmly and lifting it up with a subtle movement, just enough to feel the tip of his cock rubbing against your puffy 'n needy clit. you let out a short gasp, taking a hold on his shoulders as you looked down at the lewd scenery below you. "aht, aht sugar . . . look at me," he gently slaps your ass, bringing back your attention to him and looking at him directly. he murmurs a low "thereee we go." before sliding you down his cock, a high-pitched yelp eliciting from your lips.
his cock slides in further, deeper and deeper until you feel his cock fill you up to the hilt. you're now basically cockdrunk, and he hasn't done anything to make you be in this position yet. you babbled how he's "too big" and that "you're full" but he could only watch in awe. "shh, shh, look how soaked your pussy is . . . look at how easy it just slides in, aand out." he huffs, moving your hips with ease as the base of his cock slips in and out of your pussy, erupting a lewd squelch.
"now c'mon baby, show me how really thankful you are f'me . . ." his hands now let go of your hips, making you fully sit down on his cock as your pussy warms it up. your lips tug a small pout, his hands being placed behind his head as he raised a brow. his expression already spoke volumes on what he was going to say, so you tried your best to lift up your shaky hips and thighs as you worked your way into riding his cock.
let's just say he had to do most of the work later on :(
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💌: gojo satoru, geto suguru, hiromi higuruma, chuuya nakahara, haitani brothers, sanzu haruchiyo, manjiro sano, shuji hanma, wakasa imaushi, rafe cameron, ++ your favs!!
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tieronecrush · 5 months
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office party
javier peña x f!reader
summary: your friend with benefits, javier, is your plus one for your dreaded office holiday party. when a coworker gets a bit too comfortable, javier steps in and shows you exactly how he feels about you.
rating: M
wc: 2.3k
warnings: alcohol use, mentions of sex, inappropriate advances from coworker, fwb, probably missing some so lmk what!!
a/n: my contribution to @pedrostories secret santa event!! was a busy holiday season so i wish i could have done more but excited to participate nonetheless. i hope you enjoy @flightlessangelwings and happy holidays to you!!! and tysm my love @northernbluess for proofing
dividers by @saradika
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“Christ, where is he? Gettin’ freezing out here…” you mumble to yourself, gritted through your teeth as you stand shivering in your party attire — a tasteful black velvet cocktail dress, hem stopping a couple of inches above your knees and long sleeves with a sweetheart neckline. Fidgeting with your charm necklace, you nervously scan the entrance stairs to the history museum for the familiar face.
It’s the night before your office lets out for the holidays, and it’s also the night they host their annual holiday party. Even though it was quite the affair and your large law firm spares no expense for the event, you never really looked forward to being confronted with colleagues in ways you didn’t need to see them, and there was usually one man who would hit on you. Open bar, catered food, always in a gorgeous venue, it was a recipe for a great time or a horrible time, depending on your found company for the night. This year was the history museum, one of your favorite spots in the city. The daydreams you’ve had about taking him here pop into your mind like a flash in the pan — fleeting, and simply something to stay as a daydream.
A tinge of reluctance tugs in your gut. Was it weird to ask him here? Is he going to stand you up?
But then, there was Javier. Looking sharp as ever in a suit, one you’ve seen him in once after he stopped by yours after a late night working. Black, with a crisp white shirt and a red tie to fit into the holiday spirit. A smirk plays on his lips when he spots you, taking the stone steps two at a time as he approaches. It had taken a bit of convincing — virtually bribing — to get him to agree to be your plus one for the night, and when he did confirm that he would come along with you, the prospect of the party actually being something more bearable skyrocketed instead of the excruciating evening you usually expect.
“Hey there, querida. Why’re you waiting out in the cold for me? Debe estar congelándose. (You must be freezing.)” Javier greets you with concern knit into his brow, his big brown eyes softened and sparkling in the low streetlight. His large palms find the sides of your arms, rubbing gently to warm you up.
“Didn’t want to get pulled into the abyss alone in there,” you jest, “I don’t know if you’d have been able to find me with all the hiding I have to do from weird coworkers.”
You laugh and Javier chuckles lightheartedly, shaking his head as he relaxes in front of you. Nodding his head toward the door, he follows behind you as you lead with a hand at your lower back.
“Is there anyone I should watch out for specifically tonight? Am I gonna have to act as a bodyguard? Should I tell any of the creeps I have a gun?” Javier’s lips graze your ear as he speaks, keeping close to you when you enter and the sounds of the party erupt. A jolt runs down your spine from the intimate contact. It’s your turn to shake your head, breathing out a laugh as you limply hit your hand against his chest.
Your excitement around seeing Javier and spending more time with him was getting much more frequent and much more intense. Bordering the point where you don’t know if you can keep up the arrangement with the feelings you’re developing for him.
Friends of a few years, there’s always been a flirty undertone between you and Javier. It built up to the point that when everyone had cleared out from a dinner party at your place, Javier stayed behind to help clean up — always a gentleman — and the two of you, admittedly a bit tipsy from the wine that was flowing all night, told each other one a whim that you were attracted to each other. Both free from any ties of old relationships, you fell into an agreement: sex, great sex at that, with no strings attached. You two would remain friends and get exactly what you wanted, which was each other, without the messiness of a relationship. Something you were both jaded from.
These days, however, the lines were starting to blur on your end. Everything he did seemed to tip you further into the deep end before you finally came to terms and accepted that you had completely cannonballed into it.
Javier is a good guy. Didn’t have that reputation around town when you first met, but getting to know him in the wee hours of the morning after a few rounds, you fell fast and hard. It wasn’t until recently that you came to terms with it.
“Nobody needs the interrogation tactics or intimidation tonight, Peña.”
“Okay, okay…Tengo que asegurarme de que te traten bien. (I have to make sure you’re treated right.) One of their best employees, shouldn’t have to put up with the shit, querida.”
The air in the grand entrance of the city’s museum crackles with holiday cheer as festive decorations adorn every corner. Garland hangs around the banisters of the grand staircase that leads further into the museum, but most of the activity is in the large, marble-lined room you both stand in. Nearly every employee seems to be in attendance, people milling about in cliques and others indulging in drinking or dancing.
As both of you saunter toward the bar, the atmosphere softens with each step, the clinking of glasses and the chatter of coworkers weaving together into a cacophony of merriment. Javier grabs you two drinks, a glass of champagne for you and whiskey neat for him, toasting to the night ahead. The clinking of glasses resonates with your unspoken agreement: tonight, like every other night, would end the same way. No strings.
Amidst the swirl of laughter and twinkling lights, and the loosening power of liquor, the boundary between friendship and something deeper becomes increasingly blurred. Flirty comments dance back and forth, charged with an unspoken tension that lingers beneath the surface.
“You look beautiful tonight, cariño. How come I haven’t seen this dress before?” Javier asks, the two of you standing at a cocktail table, alone and enjoying it.
“Guess you’d have to be my plus one more often, Javi. Then you could see all the dresses in my closet,” you counter, smirking playfully and biting back the desire to mention something akin to a real date for both of you.
“Guess so, querida. Might have to make this a regular thing.” Javier sends you a wink before clinking your glasses together in another smaller toast, a smirk painting his face as he lifts the tumbler to his mouth for a sip.
With every exchanged glance and teasing remark, it’s evident that you’re tiptoeing on the edge of uncharted territory, yearning to express feelings that had long been confined. It’s unclear if Javier feels the same, but soft touches and gentle words ply you open even further, teetering with falling completely.
Then, amidst the dance of emotions and flirtations, a coworker appears in the corner of your eye, sauntering toward the table and bursting the privacy bubble that you happily curated with Javier. His name’s Jake, a man around your age who is friendly with you in the office, sociable guy with one of those “winning” personalities the partners would compliment endlessly. A guy’s guy. But one that had no problem approaching the women in the office. With a warm smile, he extends a hand towards the man at your side, introducing himself with an easy charm that seemed almost too perfect — of course, referring to Javier already as his ‘buddy’. The hint of jealousy that flickers across Javier's face doesn’t escape your notice, and you can’t help but feel a tingle of endearment for his slightly soured mood from being interrupted.
As the night progresses, Jake's alcohol-infused attempt at camaraderie with you grows increasingly unwelcome. He’d been watching you like a hawk so far, cutting in whenever Javier left to grab more drinks or when another coworker pulled his attention away to try to pick his brain about all that’s happening in the government right now. Inching closer to you, Jake leans against the hightop table, making conversation with slurred words and uninhibited want behind his eyes.
When you shift slightly away, attempting to remain civil enough at a work event, you feel yourself bump into Javier. 
At that moment, Javier turns to see if you tapped him to grab his attention, but is met with the clear look of discomfort on your face. Jake leaning in closer, eyes wandering as you responded in the conversation, clearly attempting to check you out. Frustration toward the man in front of you lit in his chest, holding himself back from confronting him and instead fully embracing his purpose for the night. If he was invited as your date, he could act like it, right?
His arm wraps around you possessively, his lips pressing kisses on your temple, and whispered words meant to keep you close. Surprised at first, but happy to feel closer to him and to relish in the protective boyfriend persona, even if it is only to keep a creep away from you.
Jake, seemingly oblivious to the change in dynamics, spoke up louder, laying a hand on your arm and squeezing, “So you ever wanna cut out of work early and get a drink? Maybe end up back at my place? You can wear that dress.”
The proposition sends a ripple of discomfort through the air. Other coworkers turn away, ignoring the advance that left you shocked and speechless. But, Javier, now fully immersed in his role, takes a stern tone, cutting in and gently maneuvering you behind him.
“Hey, cabrón, why don’t you apologize for speaking to her like that?” Javier instructs, nodding to you while your hands wrap around his arm closest to you. “Or am I going to have to find one of your supervisors and tell them all this shit myself? Don’t speak to her again, or even look at her. And I will know if you do — I’ve got eyes everywhere, buddy.”
The look on Jake’s face makes you laugh softly from behind Javier, shaking your head as he backs away and leaves with his tail between his legs. Javier turns to you, wrapping you up in one of his arms and brushing his fingers softly against your cheek.
Concern softens his eyes, the same look that he greeted you with when he found you waiting in the cold, “You alright, cariño? Fucking asshole. You shouldn’t have to deal with that, should report him or something.”
“I’m alright, Javi. Thank you…You didn’t have to—”
Javier shakes his head, smiling with one side of his mouth and kissing your forehead, “‘Course I did. Can’t let anyone talk to you like that.”
You lean into his chest and smile, lightening the mood with a playful comment, “Seemed pretty comfortable being threatening. Did it bring you back to the good ol’ days being a sheriff?”
Ever the master of evasion, Javier shrugs it off with a casual demeanor, attempting to maintain the façade of indifference with a nod, “Sure did. But they weren’t the good ol’ days.”
Hearing the smile in his voice causes a wave of affection for him that washes over you, coming to the realization that it’s either now or never. A surge of courage propels you to take the leap, confessing the fact that you see more with Javier, that you want more with him.
“I know we said no strings, and it was like that at first, but the more I’ve gotten to know you, the more I’ve found that I love you. And you can absolutely walk away and nothing will be held against you, but I can’t keep up with this if I can’t tell you how I feel.”
The atmosphere between you shifts, and for a moment, the world seems to stop entirely.
Javier's eyes softened, and with a sincerity that catches you off guard, he shares a confession too, “Querida, I fell in love with you in the first moment I met you. The second I kissed you for the first time was when I realized it. I thought maybe I could keep it all in, ‘cause I didn’t want to lose you as a friend and just as a part of my life, but I love you, cariño. Have since I heard that laugh of yours and saw that gorgeous smile. And I haven’t felt the same way I feel about you for anyone else before.”
In that moment of vulnerability, the boundaries that confined your actions shatter, opening up a door, wide and clear, for you to walk through and never close.
Away from the crowded party, you find yourselves standing in a doorway adorned with sprigs of mistletoe, a symbol of serendipity. Under the soft glow of the festive lights, Javier takes a step closer, and his lips meet yours in a gentle, lingering kiss. His hand caresses your cheek, one arm wrapping around your waist while yours rest around his neck, pulling him in for a deeper kiss.
As you break apart, Javier looks into your eyes, a sincerity shining through that mirrored the twinkle of holiday lights.
"I love you," he confesses, the words hanging in the air like the melody of a cherished carol.
“I love you, too,” you return, a glowing smile and feeling giddy for the rest of the holiday season with Javier.
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taglist: @northernbluess @atinylittlepain @swiftispunk @joelsversion @mrsmando @ilovepedro @deathwife @undrthelights @atticrissfinch @casa-boiardi @wannab-urs @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin @fishingforpike @msjarvis @walkintotheriveranddisappear @sugadolly @yazsos @peppesgirl @pastawench @addictedtotlou @brittmb115 @anoverwhelmingdin @spishsstuff @wolfbook87 @mswarriorbabe80 @harriedandharassed @decemberdolly @laiisleitte @fierce-bab @vickie5446 @pertinentpostmortem @livingdeadmaria @sullyosully @bitchwitch1981 @its-nebuleuse @marini03 @piercethevic03 @joeandpedrosimp @kiwisbell @planet-marz1 @txtattoostark @jrosie25 @thereaperisabitch @tbniarq @vee-bees-blog @spidermanfrog @belliezz @joelsflannel @k-k0129 @cartoon-garbage04 @bianqueee04 @nostalxgic
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regressionworldz · 4 months
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I think it was about time I drew some CG!Aziraphale and Little!Crowley, I honestly can't get enough of them, especially since Crowley is clearly so baby coded, I can't wait for the next season!
On another note, I know you guys have been wanting me to provide headcanons on some of these characters, so I've decided to compile a small list for them! If you guys enjoy these headcanons, I'll try doing more for other characters.
GOOD OMENS AGERE HEADCANONS!
Aziraphale discovered that Crowley had been a regressor in the last 100, perhaps 200 years, around the 1800s era. Prior to that period, Crowley had been a regressor but kept it a secret, showing little concern for himself.
He unintentionally regressed and faced significant challenges in reclaiming his former self. Aziraphale likely perceived it as a panic attack, a common occurrence for Crowley and a factor that increased the likelihood of his regression.
He becomes extremely sensitive to pain during regression, yet he makes an effort to conceal it. Even a minor injury like pricking his finger prompts tears and shakiness, but he refrains from admitting the pain. This sensitivity stems from the trauma of the angelic fall, where angels experience pain for the first time, and the impact of the descent can leave their bodies broken for hours or even days. While Crowley may have felt pain as a human, the fall marked the first instance he truly felt vulnerable and weak.
Snakes have limited color vision, primarily perceiving shades of blue and green (though there might be some variation). Recognizing this, Aziraphale purchases and knits toys for Crowley within that specific color range.
During regression, Crowley opts for a more concise term, referring to Aziraphale simply as 'angel.' Occasionally, he might use 'papa,' though it occurs less frequently.
When Crowley is happy, he engages in vocal stims, emitting squeals or spontaneous, joyful noises.
Crowley holds a preference for snakes as his favorite animal, yet he appreciates any plushie he receives, with a particular fondness for sheep and goats.
Crowley typically sheds tears either upon waking up or at the onset of regression. Throughout the rest of the time, he makes an effort to suppress his tears. When upset, he opts for deep breaths as a coping mechanism, consciously avoiding crying. However, this emotional suppression can lead to him becoming worked up.
While regressed, Aziraphale assists Crowley in tending to his plants. However, later on, Crowley becomes frustrated with himself for being kind to his plants, expressing displeasure with the unexpected benevolence.
During Crowley's regression, Aziraphale is inclined to prepare warm meals for him. Although Crowley doesn't eat often, he readily indulges in meals provided by Aziraphale.
Crowley has a star mobile above his crib that Aziraphale added, allowing him to gaze at the stars, a simple joy that consistently brings him happiness.
Hope you guys enjoyed some of these papa azi and little crowley headcanons!
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fatallyfalling · 6 months
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Secrets & Sugarcubes ~ ♆
“ Sugarcube ? “
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{{ Finnick Odair x Reader }}
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warnings: hurt/comfort, typical Hunger Games violence/trauma, mention/insinuation of forced prostitution, ptsd, soft reassurances, possible slight ooc?? Finnick fears physical touch, end is very fluffy with some slight cuddling, etc.
{{ word count }} 4.0 k
{{ Prompt }} The two of you had a game, a way of trading secrets when the world felt too big and a simple touch felt like a burn on Finnick’s skin. You always made sure to keep a tin of sugarcubes in your kitchen just in case.
{{ a/n }} I swear i know how to write happy things guys i promise akfkakkdka the next one will be tooth rottingly sweet i promise please bear with me >< ! I hope the length of this one makes up for it being a day late as well. This also might seem a bit ooc for Finnick? Not sure - but here is my full headcanon, I'd suggest reading it before this to better understand why Finnick is behaving the way he is as it's explained a bit more in-depth. Reader and Finnick are also rather affectionate with one another but there isn’t an established relationship yet between them. Please enjoy <3
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Tip, Tap, Tip-Tip, Tap
Your door creaked under the coded knock, a beat of silence following before it was repeated on the old wood. Your nose scrunched in a perplexed manner, groggily padding down the stairs in your night clothes to your front door, a glimpse at the mahogany grandfather clock in the entryway tells you it’s well past midnight. Your confusion pooled into a sense of concern as cold fingers gripped the metal door handle and gave a firm tug. You knew the knock and who was behind the door as you started speaking before even meeting his gaze, the scent of almonds and honey tainted by a sickly layer of Capital roses filling your senses.
“What’s going on? It’s late. You should be asle-“
Your sentence was cut short as your gaze met a pair of bleary sea-green eyes. You knew the look too well as a frown settled on your lips, your shoulders sinking with your heart as you took in the male before you. “Oh, Finn..” You mutter as you open the door further to let him inside. He hesitates in the doorway, looking lost, but you give a flickering nod of encouragement, convincing him to cross the threshold.
“Come on, I’ll make some tea..”
Nodding towards the kitchen, he wordlessly treks after you. Finnick’s steel-colored dress shirt was well wrinkled, unbuttoned to his clavicle, and sleeves pushed past his elbows. His face didn’t look much better than his suit. His bronze waves were messy, brows sewn in with a tight jaw, and hunched shoulders added to an unsteady demeanor. You could only assume what had occurred earlier in the night while attending the latest Capital party before the famed “Capital’s Darling” appeared on your doorstep. The growing pit in your stomach churned at the thought, and a muscle fluttered in your jaw as you led the victor deeper into your home.
Settling into what sometimes felt like a nightly routine, you get to work on the tea. You also place a small tin on the counter before Finnick, his gaze dancing between your fingers and the tin as you do so. His hands were trembling.
“I think the sweater you left the other day is upstairs. I can get it if you’d like,” You offer while setting the kettle to simmer on the stove. Finnick shakes his head with a soft, tight-lipped hum. He was distracted, flicking his thumbs against the pads of his index fingers over and over again.
“I thought it might help to change...” You allow while stumbling over an apology. You round the counter in a retreat to hunt down the knit item. But you misjudge the distance. Your shoulder accidentally brushes his in a fleeting move that instantly causes recoil and a sharp inhale on Finnick’s part as if he’d been singed by a flame.
“Please,”
The word was strained in his throat as anguish flooded his tanned features. Your eyes widened at your misstep, immediately backtracking to provide more physical space between you. But your frown only deepens as you stare at one another for a fleeting moment before Finnick all but crumples in on himself, descending to the hardwood floor.
Heartbreak splinters through your chest like a knife, bringing yourself down with him as knees meet the polished wood with a thud. Taking further notice of his trembling, it spread up his arms and across his torso now, fists bunching the fabric of his sleeves. The victor wet his lips as his eyes screwed shut, visibly trying to push back whatever threatened to plague his mind.
“I'm so sorry Finnick. Hey, hey- it’s okay, it’s just me, I'm here. I’m sorry, you’re safe with me. You’re going to be okay,” Apologetic pleas pour out in whispers, your head tilting to see beneath the bronze waves blocking his eyes. “You’re safe here,"
He doesn’t respond, only wetting his lips again with a thick swallow that moves his throat up and down. Your lips press to a thin line as you scan around you for anything that might help break the darkness obscuring his senses. Your own thoughts swim with curses for your mistake before your vision finally connects with the small forgotten tin on the counter. Cautiously you rise to retrieve it, your movements are slow, ensuring your hands remain within view, and keeping a safe distance between Finnick and yourself. Once the cool metal touches your skin you wrap your fingers around it, returning to kneel before the distressed Darling on your floor.
“Hey, do you remember our game ?”
A small ‘click’ chirps out as you open the tin. Dozens of small white sugarcubes sparkle inside, gently shifting to let the tin rest between you two. Finnick’s eyes peek out in a squint, dragging his gaze down to the tin and then back up to fixate on your face. He gives a tiny nod to indicate he’s listening, the trembling doesn’t stop.
“Okay,” you manage a small, warm smile briefly as you dip your head to peer into the tin. Plucking four cubes out, simultaneously sweeping your calves out from under you for a more relaxed sitting position, you gently place two near his knee while keeping the other two in your hand.
“One for yes, two for no,”
Gesturing to show the two options, gaining another nod from the trembling victor. At least his attention is focused on the sugar now. Sometimes it took much longer to bring him back enough just to open his eyes.
This was what Finnick Odair hid behind showboating grins and that “Golden Boy” Capital mask. The poltergeists of sticky, unwanted Capital fingers and lips left dozens of invisible burns engraved on his skin. You’d caught the bronze-haired male regularly picking an invisible piece of lint off his shirt or whichever shiny garment the stylists forced him to wear. Soon enough you managed to decipher the minute gesture as a tell to when the discomfort the tanned male felt on his skin too often was starting to eat away at his thoughts.
Never quite free of the forces from previous nights.
It tore open your heart to see him like this. Thrown to the mutts of the Capital under President Snow’s threat of his loved ones being tortured or worse killed if he didn’t comply, there really was no escape from the taloned clutches of winning the annual Hunger Games.
Nobody escapes The Games, and nobody ever wins.
As much as you desperately wanted to whisk the 65th victor away from his position he wouldn’t let you even if you tried, claiming he couldn’t bear to see you come into harm's way and that he’d rather endure the torture just to keep you safe. The seeping guilt you felt was immeasurable.
“I’ll begin, you just answer with the sugar okay ?”
Another small nod earns a second weak smile tugging at the corners of your mouth to reassure him.
“Are you okay ?”
There’s a pause as Finnick thinks, eyelids squeeze shut again but soon open as a shaky hand gently moves the tiny pieces of sugar forward.
Two cubes, ‘no’
“Are you hurt outside ?”
Two cubes, ‘no’
“Are you hurt inside ?”
Another pause, and then he gently scoots one of the cubes backward.
One cube, ‘yes’
“Can you tell me what hurts inside ?”
Finnick hesitates, his brow twitches with a small crinkle of his nose. You wouldn’t pry if he wasn’t ready, you’re patience was strong and you’d spend all night passing sugar on the floor if it meant he could find peace of mind. “You don’t have to say anything you don’t want to,”
Finnick didn’t have many choices or say in life due to his position in the capital, so you found providing clear options to be rather grounding for the Bronze-haired male. It gave him a sense of stability and control over himself and what was occurring around him. Keeping the questions of your game simple and to the point in turn made his responses quick, a distraction technique you had picked up a while back to combat your own struggles post-games.
Two cubes, ‘no’
“That’s okay,” your small smile strengthens as you give him a tender look, not of pity but empathy. “Can I help?”
One cube, ‘yes’
“Please…”
The repeated word is barely above a whisper. If you hadn’t been hyper-fixated on him you might not have caught the parting of his lips that dripped the morsel of sound. His gaze has moved up from the floor to meet yours, wide sea-green irises soft in a pleading expression. You simply nod, assuring him you’re staying right where you are. The tension in his body visibly releases as the reassurances seem to sink in. Gingerly, he releases his biceps, picking at an invisible speck of dust on his sleeve. He drags a hand through his tousled hair before taking it down his face to rub his eyelids. He inhales a deep, shaky breath. You let him take his time to recuperate. Once his hand returns to his lap and he meets your eyesight you resume the verbal questionnaire.
“Do you want your sweater ?”
One cube, ‘yes’
“Okay, just a second,” you smile warmly, he nods, and you slowly stand, making your way upstairs, finding the ivory knit sweater on your bedroom dresser right where he’d left it. Turning around, you retrace your steps back to the kitchen, making sure to avoid the steps that creak louder than others on your way. “Here you go,”
Placing the sweater down as you return to sit with the Darling, he waits for your hands to leave the fabric before picking up the thick material and tugging it over his head. It takes a minute to adjust the layers and his sitting position so they’re comfortable but when he’s done the steel grey button-up collar peeks out from under the angled neckline of the ivory sweater along with the tails of the neutral fabric sticking out under the bottom hem. The ends of the sleeves are stretched around his fingers to mimic mittens. “Better ?” You offer while he takes a moment to breathe in the familiar scent. The smell of Capital roses is quickly suffocated in his familiar warm almond and honey cologne mixing with your scent clinging to the sweater. A sweet smile softens your cheeks as he allows a small lopsided smile with a nod and a hum, the corners of his mouth twitching up at the comfort.
“Very much so.”
“Good,” you nod, “Do you want the citrus tea you like so much? The one with the cinnamon?” Quirking a brow with a small tilt of your head.
“mhm,”
One cube, ‘yes’
“Very well,” you smile sweetly, rising again to move back into the kitchen. You gently open a cupboard, plucking a viridian mug off the shelf for the Darling along with your usual mug. A delicate clink echos in the otherwise quiet space as you set the ceramics on the counter. Finnick has turned to peek up and watch.
His sea-green eyes were still big and pleading, not really ready to stand but also not wanting to be away from you. With the counter cutting off just below his irises and his bronze hair tossed around and fluffy like that you couldn’t help being reminded of a small puppy. You mouth another reassurance with a wink as your cheeks warm, pulling open a drawer to pick up two small objects. They’re burnished silver spheres of metal, split in half but held by a tiny latch and speckled in countless minuscule holes for the nectar of the teas to slip through.
Reaching for two narrow jars on your counter you slide them towards your workspace and unstick each lid with an odd “pop”. Whisps of warm cinnamon, citrus, cloves, and black tea mix with the scent of herbs and spices more aligned with your tastes. The teas were a luxury gift from Mags on your birthday a year or two ago. You only use them on special occasions or nights like these.
You take a small spoon and gingerly press the correct amount of leaves in each steeper, adding a few extra to Finnick’s as he preferred a more prominent flavor. Afterward, you lower the metal orbs into their respective mug and quietly clean your workspace. Once the items are back in place you turn and just about jump out of your skin with a yelp of surprise as the tea kettle’s shrill whistle sings loud and clear.
Quickly you fumble for a cloth on a hook beside the wide farmhouse sink. Wrapping it around the heated handle of the kettle you remove it from the flames and onto an unused burner before shutting off the stove. Your heart pounds as adrenaline courses through your veins like lightning. A curse dances off your tongue but your embarrassment is short-lived as a coy chuckle fills your ears, wrapping around your senses like a soft blanket. A relieving warmth weaves its way through your ribs and melts the icy heartache as you hear Finnick laugh again. Turning towards the sound you spot the bronze-haired male now standing at the counter, his forearms leaning on the cool stone. His hands are barely trembling now although his eyes seem far away but his demeanor has seemed to regain its footing, a flickering of his naturally charismatic aura passes through his pointed-to-white teeth in the form of a lopsided smile. Color has started to ebb its way back into his tanned cheeks. That warmth in your ribcage spreads up your neck but you try to shove it back down. The components of your game; all four sugarcubes and the tin are sitting beside his elbow on the counter. You cross your arms over your chest loosely, narrowing your eyes at him in a playful manner.
“It’s not funny,”
“You’re right it’s hilarious,” Finnick drawls, his tone cocky.
An exasperated huff puffs out your chest followed by a sarcastic roll of our eyes. “There’s the Finnick Odair I know and Love,” You sigh, mischief flickers in those sea-green eyes. Carefully bringing the kettle over after it has a moment to cool you pour the boiling water as evenly as you can before returning it to the stove. A comforting quiet falls over the two of you while watching the liquid within the mugs change color. Eventually, your gaze shifts to watching Finnick slowly build a tiny pyramid out of the sugarcubes. The pristine wall of white crystals stands for all but ten seconds (not even) before the victor’s gentle tap sends it crumbling.
The joy from moments ago dissipates into something melancholic.
“Are you okay…?” You ask again, a crease forming between your brows as you search his sea-green eyes for any signs. Finnick gives you another tight-lipped hum, his smile has slipped away and you notice the set in his jaw returns. His gaze shifts from his folded hands to the sugar close by and hesitantly plucks up two of the four pieces.
Two cubes, ‘no’
“Still inside…?”
One cube, ‘yes’
“Still no touching?” Your voice is tender in a reassuring manner.
Two cubes, ‘yes’
Finnick understands that he’s safe. You’ll respect any boundary he chooses. You’re one of his few ‘safe’ individuals that he allows to fully trust besides Johanna, Mags, and Annie. Unfortunately, Annie was always rather emotionally distraught, meaning Finnick couldn’t be around her for long periods due to her tendency to claw at people during her episodes. It broke his heart to see the fire-haired victor he mentored through an awful arena be left so broken and afraid with limited ability to help her. But you did your best to pick up the slack in her care.
You were all damaged people just trying to survive the best you could with the hand you’d been dealt. No matter the cruelty of the dealer.
While caught up in your thoughts, the tea finished steeping. Gently, you slide the viridian mug of citrusy spices towards Finnick, who allows a small thanks and his “compliments to the chef” while plucking two sugarcubes from his fallen stack and dropping them into the burnt orange liquid.
“My pleasure,” you hum, fixing your tea how you like it and stirring the small steeper around the mug before lifting it from the drink and setting it off to the side. Finnick’s steeper soon follows. You’ll clean the sticky residue later.
Hot ceramic warms your fingertips as they curl around the mug, lifting it to your lips and parting them to give a gentle blow. Ripples of tea bounce around the rim, causing the curls of steam to dance around your cheeks. You inhale the Herbs deeply, and a calm feeling washes over your shoulders. The first sip immediately warms your insides as it goes down, observing the same reaction on Finnick as he takes a long swig of the tea followed by a hum of pleasure.
“Don’t burn your tongue it's still hot,” you murmur into your drink, the emitted sound coming out a bit warped. A ghost of a smile crosses the Darling’s face at your words, though he doesn’t reply, preferring another sip of the luxurious tea.
You already knew you wouldn’t hear the end of his dislike for the stinging on his tongue tomorrow from the burn.
You wish to reach out to him, brush your knuckles against his, or cup his stupidly handsome face in your hands, holding him close till all is better, but you can’t. You won’t. His safety and comfort is your priority right now, and you’ll always give him space when asked. You knew all too well what violation of space felt like.
“Are you feeling any better?”
You question the Darling while searching those sea-green eyes for any signs of pain.
Finnick offers a slight nod, casting a glance in your direction while adjusting the sugar.
One cube, ‘yes’
You nod in understanding. Even though the ache inside his chest still hurt you at least managed to help him start to move past it. The two of you stay at the counter for a long while. Secrets pass back and forth via sugarcube and Finnick has another cup of tea. You move in quiet tandem with one another as he preps the tea and you clean up your steeper and mug in the sink. Softly you hum a small rhyming tune from your childhood as you scrub along the inside of your mug, there’s a sense of domesticity in the air and you can’t help feeling more at ease.
Once everything is clean and put away except the sugarcubes you find yourself on your living room sofa, there’s a space between where your knees are tucked up against you and where Finnick sits. The tin of white crystals sits in that space, the Darling victor plucking up cubes every once in a while to suck on. He could eat all of them and you wouldn’t have minded.
The room is dimly lit, just the light from a lantern on the unused desk beside the fireplace. A soft glow is painted across Finnick’s features that makes his eyes sparkle and spread warmth up your cheeks, the tips of your ears surely going red. You try to suffocate the warmth as it threatens to bubble up past your grasp.
As time passes Finnick eventually speaks of what happened. You listen with full attention and offer much sympathy and reassurance once he’s finished. You thank the charming male for allowing himself to be open with you and he admits, “It’s easy to be an open book when it’s you,” and those sea-green irises seem to light up even more. That warmth twists your insides as your stomach does what feels like a backflip. “Thank you…for letting me in tonight,” he murmurs with that perfect smile, the outer corners of his eyes crinkle, and dimples press into his cheeks. The smile you return is equally as wide and sweet.
“Always. I’ll always be here Finn, and you’re welcome to stay here if you want tonight. There’s plenty of space,” You breathe through a slight laugh. The big house you were gifted in Victor’s Village was far too big to have just yourself anyway and this wouldn’t be the first time the Darling spent the night.
With a nod and a pat to the space between you, you nod towards the stairs before moving to snuff out the lantern. Finnick follows, closing the sugarcube tin and placing it on the coffee table. Quietly you two head upstairs, small giggles peppering the air as the stairs creak.
When you enter your bedroom you rummage in a drawer for a pair of sweats you had ‘borrowed’ from the Darling a while ago when it had been your turn to appear at his doorstep with tears in your eyes. “Here,” you speak gently while holding them out. A cheshire smirk creeps over Finnick’s face as he takes the pants.
“So that’s where these went~”
You shush him with a sarcastic wave of your hand, letting him go into the bathroom to change while you move to sit cross-legged on the plush mattress. You preferred sleeping with many soft blankets and pillows like your own nest. It helped you feel safe when alone - though most would end up kicked off or stolen by the furnace of a man you often shared the bed with. Your revenge usually came in the morning as your icy fingers assaulted the warmth of his lower back with a fit of laughter.
You smile tenderly at the thought as Finnick reappears.
“What?” He asks.
That coy smirk is still plastered on his lips as he comes over to sit beside you. “Hm? Oh - nothing. Lay down, I’m tired." You offer with a hum. He nods before joining you under the covers. You face one another, looking into each other's eyes. Slowly, you feel his hand creep over to yours and interlace your pinkie fingers.
“Is this okay?” Those heart-melting puppy dog eyes return. You can’t help the sweet smile on your face and the warmth on your cheeks.
“Always.”
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@justtrying2getby
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dearly-somber · 7 months
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It’s An Affectionate Thing | j.jk
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-> pairing. wolf shifter!jungkook x human!reader (f)
-> genre. fluff, f2l (friends-to-lovers), pining, unrequited love, eventual romance
-> w/c. 2183
-> rating. 13+
-> a/n. this one was an excuse to write biting because 🤭
-> warnings. N/A
-> collection. mini-series
-> started. Jun. 30th, 2022 @ 18:21
-> fin. Jun. 30th, 2022 @ 22:23
-> edited. Jul. 5th, 2022 @ 00:46
-> divider credit. @mmadeinheavenn
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Jungkook is… weird, to say the least.
He just randomly came up to you in class one day, sat his ass down on the edge of your desk, and started talking to you like it was a normal, everyday routine. Which it was not.
As you got to know him, he only got weirder.
If not for his clinginess (which was admittedly strange considering you’d never met a guy so touchy with a girl who wasn’t his girlfriend), you’d say his strange habit of rubbing his head against you was probably one of his weirder characteristics.
And it wasn’t even in a creepy If-you-don’t-get-away-from-me-immediately-I’m-going-to-call-the-cops kinda way, but more so a confused, what-the-fuck-are-you-doing kinda way. He’d hug you and not so subtly rub his cheek against yours, or he’d hold your hand and make up some dumb excuse to nose your wrist (he kept insisting that you were wearing perfume when he knew you didn’t).
One time—while hugging you—he pressed his face into your neck and just… inhaled. He hasn’t done it again after you unceremoniously shoved his face away with a warning not to do it again unless he wanted to keep both his eyes, but it was beyond weird and (dare I say) creepy (at the time)
He also quite literally growled at one of your classmates when he was being a misogynistic, sexist piece of shit and wouldn’t leave you alone. And sometimes, when he’s being a brat and moaning about how you pull away too quickly after giving him a hug, he whines. Like, back of his throat, puppy-begging-for-food kind of whine.
This in of itself would be somewhat bearable, if not for his friends. They were equally as weird, if not weirder.
There were eleven of them total, seven guys and four girls—all living in the same house near the edge of town. And despite already having such a large group, they were completely unwelcoming of outsiders, too tight-knit to allow others into their ranks. People had suspected that they were in a polyamorous relationship, or that it was some weird sex cult. They hadn’t ever specifically said that they were dating amongst themselves, and being the secretive group they were, they didn’t bother acknowledging nor denying any of the crazy school rumors.
You didn’t wanna bring the rumors up with Jungkook and make him uncomfortable, so instead you chose to ignore them and pretend they weren’t there. Jungkook tried to introduce you once, but you’d seen the way they looked at you—how they glared when you walked into the cafeteria with Jungkook glued to your hip. You’d come to the nifty conclusion that they did not like you, and as much as you wanted to make Jungkook happy by letting him introduce you to his inner circle, you didn’t wanna crush his little heart by being immediately rejected.
Coming up with excuses to avoid them was hard, but if they were anything like their youngest, it was probably for the best if you kept your distance, anyway.
How you wished you’d been able to stay away for longer.
“Jungkook, I really don’t wanna go to your house.”
“But we have to go somewhere, and you already told me that your parents don’t like me.” He whines, his big bambi eyes and pouty lips making you internally groan.
“That’s because they think you’re too clingy.” You state matter of factly, deadpanning your gaze to his arm, tightly wrapped around yours.
Grinning sheepishly, he tugs you in the direction of his housemates. “C’mon, it’ll be fun!” They walk a few meters ahead of you, shoving and pushing each other while talking, rowdy laughter echoing behind them. Your heart aches for a moment, watching them enviously. They look close…
“Are we gonna be able to get anything done? There’s like. Twelve of you in one house, thirteen plus myself.” You watch them retreat further and further ahead of you, your and Jungkook’s feet dragging as you fall behind. “They don’t exactly seem like the quiet type…”
Jungkook frowns at the (hopefully) unintentional dig, clearing his throat and hesitantly intertwining your hands. When you don’t pull away, he continues. “Just give them a chance. I know the rumors are weird, but they couldn’t be farther from the truth. I promise you you’ll like them once you get to know them,” he pleads, giving you his best puppy eyes. “Please?”
You sigh, nodding concededly and reluctantly letting him pull you along. “Okay. Can we at least do the assignment somewhere private? I don’t really think your friends—”
“Family.”
The correction throws you off guard, and you stare at him. Your voice betrays you, eyes soft. “Right, your family. I don’t… I don’t think they like me very much.”
He tsks. “You don’t know what you’re talking about. But,” he turns to you and boops your nose playfully. “If it really makes you feel better, we can do the project in my room.”
His room? Why his room? Why not outside, or in the kitchen, or anywhere else but his room?
You squint your eyes at him suspiciously. “What are you planning, Jungkook?”
He grins mischievously, batting his eyelashes in an effort to make himself look more innocent than you know he is. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
You scoff. “Pervert.”
Jungkook giggles in response, wrapping his arms around your shoulders and leaning into you while not so subtly sniffing your hair.
…Brat.
Jungkook drags you upstairs to his room before any of his housemates can snatch you away from him, not bothering to listen to their rowdy complaints. He knows that they’ll overwhelm you the second they get their claws on you, and he’d preferably not scare you away just when you’re getting more comfortable around him.
He practically throws you onto his bed, followed directly by his overexcited body knocking the breath out of you. Jungkook huffs weirdly before pressing his forehead against your shoulder, hands laying curled up into your sides. Groaning, your hands shoot out to his shoulders, trying to push him off. “Can’t— can’t breathe—“
“Sorry,” he sheepishly grins, pushing himself up by his hands to look down at you with his hair flopping over his head. You catch your breath, feeling the immense relief at not having his full weight on top of you, too preoccupied to notice the compromising position you’re in—him hovering over you with his knees slotted on either side of your waist. Jungkook looks concerned when he asks, “Can you breathe yet?”
“Yeah… yeah, I can breathe. Can you uh,” your cheeks burn and you avoid meeting his eyes, your hands sliding from his shoulders. “Can you get off, please?”
“Oh, I— sorry, I’m sorry.” He gets off of you faster than you expected him to, sitting cross legged on the opposite side of the bed to give you some space. You copy him, staring at one another awkwardly. It’s your first time being in his house, let alone his room, and your heart stutters when you realize he closed the door behind you on your way in. Just great. You look at him, biting the inside of your lip. Jungkook has proven to be a very sweet boy, but he is still a boy—and you are a girl. Alone. In his bedroom.
You don’t want him getting the wrong idea.
“Listen, Kook…” He perks up, listening to you attentively. Taking an encouraging breath, you continue. “I hope you didn’t choose your room for ulterior motives, because I came here for school. I’m not going to have sex with you—“
Jungkook’s whole face turns red, frantically shaking his hands in front of you. “No no no! No, I’d never—I don’t, I don’t see you that way, I promise!” He rambles, scooting away from you in an effort to convince you that that’s not why he chose this location. Grinning stupidly, you reach over and pat his knee.
“Okay, okay, I believe you. Relax.” He pouts, crossing his arms over his chest and sulking. He just wanted to make you feel more comfortable… he didn’t think you’d take it the wrong way. Rolling your eyes at the cute pout on his lips, you ruffle his hair playfully. “Let’s get started, hm?”
You turn your back to him so that you can reach into your bag and grab your things, rifling through the books inside to look for your laptop. What you don’t notice is the weight of Jungkook’s eyes on your back—watching you and admiring the annoyed pout on your lips with a soft smile.
“Found it! So,” you cross your legs and situate the keyboard in your lap. “What do you wanna start with first? I was thinking we could start with, uhm…” Your voice dies in the back of your throat when you catch sight of Jungkook’s dazed, strangely affectionate half-smile. You clear your throat, cheeks heating up because why the fuck is he looking at you like you’ve hung the stars?
“Uhm… Jungkook?”
“Right, sorry,” he shakes his head as if to bring himself back to reality. “Why don’t we start with research first?” He’s hesitant, and you feel bad. He must think you’re going to say no.
“Sounds good. My screen is pretty small, though.” You bite your lip, thinking about how you could share the screen in a way that he wouldn’t hurt his neck.
“Uhm. I—I have… can you scoot a bit closer to the headboard?”
You look at him questioningly but give in to his hopeful puppy eyes. Sighing, you scoot back until he places a gentle hand on your knee to halt your movements. You try and look at his face but he looks down so that it’s hidden by his hair. “Jungkook?” You whisper, hesitant to increase your volume.
Jungkook either doesn’t hear you or he ignores you, clambering toward you distractedly and shifting in behind you. You suck in a breath, the hair on your arms raising. He slots his legs on either side of you, pulling you to his chest by your waist and hesitantly resting his chin on your shoulder. The closeness freezes you to the spot, and you swear you can feel him eyeing the side of your face for a reaction.
You exhale through your teeth and will yourself to relax in his arms despite your racing heart. Unbeknownst to you, Jungkook smiles, locking his hands around your waist and inhaling your scent as subtly as possible. You ignore him and clear your throat. “Shall we start with origin?” You whisper, unable to raise your voice due to the suffocating closeness, cheeks red and heart beating ten times too quickly.
Jungkook hums next to your ear. If he notices your racing heartbeat, he doesn’t comment on it.
Y/N yawns tiredly, apologizing in a half-asleep voice.
“Just take a break,” Jungkook pleads, trying to move her arms out of the way and biting back a growl of frustration when she swats his hands away from the screen.
“I’m fine.”
“You can barely keep your eyes open!” He reasons, pulling away to look at the back of her head. Stupid, stubborn girl. “Come on, Y/N. We’ve been working on this for hours. Let’s just take a quick break. Please?”
“We’re so close to finishing…” She sounds dejected, another yawn leaving her lips. Jungkook frowns at her, trying to figure out how to get her to put away her stupid computer and just take a nap, for gods sake. Knowing that this is the only course of action that’ll direct her attention to something other than this stupid class assignment, he determinedly leans forward.
You yelp in surprise, turning to Jungkook with wide eyes. Did he just—
“Did you just fucking bite me?” Your voice is filled with newfound life and energy, jaw hanging as you look down at your shoulder. Looking at him, you find no remorse in those chocolate brown eyes… only a smug, satisfied expression.
“Yes.” He laughs at the horror on your face, shaking his head as if he knows something you don’t. “It’s an affectionate thing, I promise.”
“How is you biting me an ‘affectionate thing’?” You hiss, watching as he shakes his head, hair flopping around his face cutely.
“It just is,” he shrugs. You squint suspiciously, setting the laptop down next to you while silently planning his demise.
Jungkook eyes you warily and yells when you punch his arm, rubbing the spot furiously. “What was that for!”
“Would you rather I bite you back?” You snap threateningly, sitting on your knees to look down at him. Jungkook’s eyes widen at the threat, his cheeks and the top of his ears going beet red. You grin to yourself evilly, crawling towards him. Your eyes squint in a silent threat, prowling like a bloodthirsty animal. “Just wait until I sink my teeth into you… c’mere!”
Jungkook yelps, jumping up from the bed and running away from you while incoherently yelling that no, only he’s allowed to bite you.
“Why?”
“I— I can’t tell you!”
“Guess I’m gonna bite you, then—“
“—Y/N NO!”
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futureplayboibunnie · 4 months
Text
a little geto oneshot just to get back into the swing of writing again <3
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cult leader! geto. pillowtalk. fuckbuddies to…parents? geto getting horny over you being domestic and taking care of the twins lol. a lil angsty and fluffy x
Suguru's mind was wandering as he stared out into the horizon on the balcony, he was feeling troubled in a way that didn't alarm him but irks him. He was quietly brooding as he watched the sky darken alongside his mood. Geto had just finished fucking you, hard. His cigarette was burning out on his fingertips, he chucked it away when he felt the graininess of your fingertips smooth against his bare back, you swiped your hand against his forearm and sighed as you stood next to him, feeling the breeze flow over you.
He felt different from the Geto that you once met, the one you found about to curse an entire village to death. You made it your mission to find these young kids with powers they didn't have control over and take them under your wing, the twins that you tracked from their cursed residuals, and lo and behold, Geto was there. Circumstantial events ended up in you becoming his concubine, his little secret, but then again, you did care for the kids that you protected. It reminded him of the whole point of Jujutsu High
“Let me guess, you want the world to disappear.” He said lowly with a soft smirk, glancing at you in his button-up shirt and nothing else, the way he liked you.
You pursed your lips. “You can stay. Mimiko and Nanako too. Miguel and the others can maybe visit on the weekends, I guess.” You answered plainly, but with a hint of warmth in your voice that was enough to make your lips curl into a soft smile. Suguru chuckled, his eyes creasing slightly when he clocked your breathing. He knew something was weighing on your mind and before he could even ask, your lips twisted as you sighed. "I betrayed a lot of people over the years Geto. I told myself I was doing it to protect people.. you know, kids like the girls, hated and abused by people who don't understand them. I killed sorcerers that followed the girl's cursed residuals to keep them safe.” Your words were dampened by concern and worry.
“I was ruthless.” You tisked, reminding yourself of the brutal violence your protection provided, Geto admired that most about you. He liked it, he didn't expect anything less from you.
“You're a curse user. You did what you had to do.” He replied flatly. His expectations of you were always high, it took someone with steel in their spine to be a curse user and you had exactly that. You let out a soft breath as you spoke hesitantly.
“Truth is, I'd do it again. I told myself a thousand times that it would be for kids like Mimiko and Nanako, for them to grow up with some kind of control over their cursed energy. But maybe I did it for selfish reasons too.” Your voice was soft as you admitted your inner workings. “When I'm not killing, all I can think about is you.” Your eyes met his, nervous as the words just fell from your lips, the little flutter of your lashes caused his heart to stir, and a wave of possessiveness washed over him. Geto intertwines his hand with yours and kisses your skin.
“I won't let anything happen to you. I'll protect you.” He stated confidently and not a single part of you doubted that. He watched you sigh as you averted your gaze, your teeth caught onto your lip. Geto knew you were still hiding something.
“I should be happy right now.” You murmured. Your mind was on the girls, they'd been in Suguru's compound for months and they'd barely left it, you knew it was to keep them safe but you noticed how uninterested and unhappy they were as the days went by. They were only 8, they needed to have fun like other kids would.
“What is it ?” He holds onto your hand tighter as he glares at you intently.
“The girls are cooped up, miserable and bored. They deserve to have some freedom. We can't hide them away forever.” You breathed out, your eyebrows knitted in anticipation as you awaited Geto's response. For some reason, at this moment, he couldn't find it within himself to disagree with you. Not when you were being so...domestic. His chest tightened at the thought for a reason he couldn't put his finger on. You anticipated a long, awkward silence but that wasn't the case.
"Take them out..” He said almost instantly, that made you turn your head and look at him with surprise.
Geto didn't like taking his girls outside, Mimiko and Nanako were sensitive kids and he didn't want to jeopardize their safety for such trivial things, he needed to keep them safe in an environment that he created. But he had noticed a change in the girls, they were unhappy. Maybe it wasn't such a bad idea...you taking them to the park...letting them have fun like normal kids. He wouldn't trust anyone else other than you with his girls. You were a little shocked to say the least
“If Gojo finds you...” You muttered.
“You can't keep doing this forever. You wanted to save them for a reason, let them live like children for once.”
-
Suguru kept thinking about it as he saw you leave to go play with the girls. He had to admit, he fucking loved seeing you like this, so caring and nurturing. It caused his stomach to do backflips, the idea of you taking care of his girls, like you were a doting mother. Geto loved the idea of fucking you full of his kids, as his concubine it should have been your job to carry an heir for him in the first place, but no...he wanted you all to himself first.
“Are the girls asleep?” He fixed you both a drink.
“With their muddy shoes on.” You gave him a tired half smile as you threw your coat down. You hadn’t see the girls this happy, especially by something as simple as playing in the park.
“Who else do I know that does that?” Geto glanced over at you with a smirk obviously referring to you, his chuckle was wam and so sexy. He passed you your glass and you clinked it against his, he took a swig and stared hard at you, but there was a certain tightness to him that made you question if something was weighing on his mind or not.
"You okay?'
“I was reminded of something, the way you talked about the girls. Satoru...asked me if I longed for something more, if I had any other desires if I wasn't a Jujutsu sorcerer, well, curse user now.” His voice sounded stained and unsure. “I do recall yearning for something more and I thought that my plan to create a non-sorcerer world would help me reach it. But now I feel like I've lost that feeling beyond the blood and the chaos-“ Geto was irked and a part of him was left unfulfilled for reasons he couldn’t control.
"Hey.” You grab his face with your palm, stroking away the little tufts of hair angling his face. “You're acting as if you don't have a reason for your motives. You can still have more.” Geto's eyes burned into yours, like whatever you said could affirm him or break him right now. “You've been through hell and I know you.. You can't let the bad things you did in your past define you. I know you're good. You are good.”
Geto knew that he was once good, but after all the things he's done, there's no way he could atone for it. Geto was not a good man, nor was he holy. But for you to say that he deserved to believe he was, was the closest thing to godliness he had ever felt, even being the worst curse user with the power of heaven and hell incarnate.
“No, you're good.” He said quickly as he glanced away. It felt like averting his gaze away from you made him feel like more of a man, not bendy and breakable within your hold. He sighed after a long sile moment. “What I said earlier, about you being a curse user,” He breathed out hesitantly. “You're not a curse user, you don't have a curse user's heart. There's just...too much good in you.” Geto's hand went to your face and palmed it perfectly, he caressed your hair and let his hand slip down to your jaw, and his thumb cradled your chin. “It's why I love you.” His eyes narrowed down to your lips, pulling it down with the pad of his thumb. He loved the sound of you breathing, the way your body moved, the way you knew exactly what you wanted.
Your lashes fluttered as you gave him a lazy smile, one filled with relief at the words he just uttered, but your heart was racing. You were getting shy on him now, it was cute. “I love you too.” Your voice was just above a whisper, sweet nothing's whirling around your head turned into a reality. Get pulled you into his chest and he gave you a chaste kiss on your temple, and then you leaned into his lips, his mouth was like sustenance. His mouth became greedier and hungrier, he wanted to claim what was his. Hell, maybe he wanted to watch you swell with his kid. Every king needs an heir.
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wynnyfryd · 7 months
Text
Trailer park Steve AU part 11
part 1 | part 10 | ao3
cw: period-typical homophobic language, explicit sexual content (if you are under 18 then kindly GO ON NYOW GIT come back when you grow your first gray pube)
It feels crazy, after all that, to just get up and face the day. Feels like last Fall all over again: he’s concussed in the back of class getting bagel crumbs on a worksheet with his face still pulverized. There’s a gross pang in his chest as he goes about his morning routine, his heart all squishy and bruised like some dickhead smashed a plate over it, but whatever, he guesses. Public education and minimum wage wait for no one.
Robin grills him the whole car ride: “Oh, my god, is he okay?? Is he alive? Is your mom okay? What the hell, Steve?” and he lets her ramble with wide, worried eyes; doesn’t even get to the part about Eddie. When they pull up to the school she gets out of the car and comes around to his side, knocks on his window and leans in when he rolls it down to give him a ridiculously long hug.
"Robinnn," he grumbles; his face is mashed against her boobs. "People are gonna think we're dating."
She bends to hug him tighter still, her bony ass hanging out his window where the whole school can see. "I'd date you in a second."
"You've literally said that you wouldn't."
"Platonically, I would!!"
She gives him one last squeeze, and he watches her waddle off, trumpet case awkwardly smacking her calves.
And then he just... goes to work. He goes to stand around a nearly empty store and pretend like he even has any work to do, restocks the already full displays of candy and buffs the countertops until they shine. Three hours in and he's run out of ways to look busy and Keith is “doing admin stuff” in the back, so he gives his mom a call. Makes sure she's okay; did she eat anything yet; any updates on Ernie?
She’s fine, she's not hungry, he's alive but that's all they know for now, her tone distantly polite like Steve's nothing more than a friendly cold caller.
He shoves his fingers in his eyes ’til he sees stars when they hang up.
He calls the Henderson house next, leaves a message to apologize for skipping out early, promises that he'll be there next Wednesday and he can bring dessert this time. There’s a lunch rush after that, but the day still drags like a bad hangover, a dull throbbing in his bones, and when he finally gets home he collapses onto his bed and passes out on top of the covers with his dumb work vest still on.
Eddie's acting weird.
Steve sees him again on Friday, spots him and his uncle having a smoke out on the porch and wanders over to say hello. Wayne seems happy enough to chat; gives him all the news on Ernie — "Bastard's unkillable," he says, almost impressed. He’s stable now, should be home any day.
Eddie, on the other hand, spends the entire interaction behaving like a skittish cat, eyes darting to and from Steve, leg jiggling as he quietly puffs his cig.
Steve half expects him to slink off and come back to drop a dead mouse at his feet.
He feels his brows knit together, agitation creeping in. It's not like he thought they'd be best friends after a single night of ceasefire or anything — as if they'd start braiding each other's hair and trading their deepest, darkest secrets or whatever queer shit — but like…
He thought they might be cool now. At least a little bit.
And Eddie's not being rude to him, exactly, but that's somehow even worse. The polite disinterest. The subtle shift to the left. Back and away.
“Okay, well, uh...” Steve glances at Eddie, who's looking anywhere but him. Fucking fascinated by a loose thread on his ripped jeans, apparently, plucking at it with anxious fingers. “See ya around, I guess?”
Wayne says not be a stranger, and Eddie gives him a quick nod. “See ya.”
Steve grinds his teeth about it for the rest of the afternoon, then decides, like, screw this. It's a Friday night; he's not sitting around sulking all evening because Eddie Munson hurt his feelings.
He calls up a girl — some pretty blonde chick he remembers from the cheer squad — and sets up a date for later that night. Takes her to the drive-in, buys her a vanilla shake. The date's fine; it's good; it's fine. She's pretty enough, and she offers to suck him off when the main feature starts.
It’s not a good blowjob. Arguably one of the worst ones Steve’s had, and he’s had quite a few. She keeps gagging herself with these gross squelching sounds, barely getting even half of his dick in her tiny mouth and not bothering to use her hands to make up the difference. Just leaves them resting on Steve’s thighs while she makes fake whimpering moans like she’s sooo turned on by this; fucking as if; and somewhere in the middle of her repetitive, sloppy bobbing his mind starts to wander off. To the trailer, to the lot fees, the fucking pharmacy bills. Their ever-dwindling savings and what percentage of them he just wasted on this lackluster movie night; surely they’re gonna run out any day now; tick tock, tick tock.
"Um," the girl squeaks as she pulls off with a gross slurp. Steve looks down at his lap, sees he's gone soft. "Am I, like, doing something wrong, or...?"
Her voice is high and quiet, innocent and sweet, and Steve feels like an asshole. He squeezes himself at the base, gives a few quick strokes to get himself up again. "No, you're perfect, honey," he lies. "Stick out your tongue for me?"
She bats her eyes demurely and rolls over onto her side, gives him some kind of sexy pout before opening her mouth so he can jerk off over her. Steve works his wrist; tries not to be rude and look away, but her colors are all wrong. Strawberry hair. Blue irises. He squeezes his eyes shut, moves his hand faster and thinks of dark brown. Dark hair, dark lashes, dark eyes like the deep woods. Endless. Sort of mesmerizing. Nancy? "Oh, fuck," he gasps as he comes.
The girl squeals and jerks away from him, hands flying to her face. "Oh, my god! Oh, my god! You got it in my nose!"
"Sorry,” Steve grunts, shuddering through an aftershock. There’s cum on his hand, on his pants; all over this poor girl’s face. He thinks he got some in her eyelashes. "Shit, sorry, let me, uh—"
He leans over and rifles through the glove box, trying to find a napkin for her. No dice. Best he can do is an old McDonald's wrapper with a grease stain on the side. "Here, does— does this work?"
“Ew!”
“Sorry, I mean it’s that or my shirt, but then I’d have to drive you home shirtless, so-”
“Ugh,” she gives him a bitchy look. Tries to, anyway. One eye is glued shut. “Just give me that, please.”
His limp, spitty cock is still hanging from his pants when he passes her the wrapper. Flaccid and sad, like a white flag of surrender, and a bubble of hysterical laughter slips out. A choked burst of it, a pufferfished pfffft as it explodes past his lips. He’s not sure if it's the orgasm or the ridiculousness of the situation or if he's just plain lost his mind, but the girl glares at him, which...
There's still a glob of jizz on her cheek, so it doesn’t help matters much.
"I think you should take me home."
"Y-yep. Sorry. Yeah."
“Like now.”
Steve tucks himself into his jeans.
part 12
tagging whoever commented yesterday if your settings will let me @slutforcoffein @annabanannabeth @rani-mayida @awolfstudio @noodle-shenaniganery @yourmom-isgay @zombiecreatures @anne-bennett-cosplayer @thestarslittleking @evillittleguy @acedorerryn @messrs-weasley @bronwenmarie @lololol-1234 @estrellami-1 @jaytriesstuff @space-invading-pigeon @violetsteve @ahsokatanoss @slowandsteddie @zoeweee @silver-snaffles @eddie-munsons-missing-nipple @thealwithnoname @cinnamon-mushroomabomination @hellion-child @stevesbipanic @trensu @steves-strapcollection @hotluncheddie
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jadedvibes · 2 years
Text
Uncovered
Summary: Your secret relationship with Bucky is finally revealed.
Part 2 for Marked, you'll definitely want to read that short fic first.
Pairing: Beefy!Bucky x reader
Warnings: 18+ only, hickeys, fluffy feels, pet names, lots of beverages, avengers tower au, beefy!bucky being an absolute dork with a scarf.
Word Count: 1.3k
A/N: You both gave me some great feedback, so here's how Natasha discovers the truth about these two! @justsebstan @aquariusbarnes
Like, comment, and/or reblog to put a giant smile on my face ♡
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That night after you had fallen asleep, Bucky slipped out of your room to get a drink. He had spotted your red knit scarf on your desk and placed it around his neck before leaving. After all, Natasha did say that he should cover up and he figured you might like to tell her about your relationship yourself. 
He heard Nat chatting with Bruce and made a show of securing your scarf over his shoulder rather dramatically as he walked past the two of them sitting on the couches. 
“Happy?” he teased, running his hand over the scarf pointedly. 
Nat furrowed her brows. “Shouldn’t your hickeys be faded by now? And where did you get that, I swear I’ve seen it before.”
Bucky shrugged, “The store.” He wasn’t in the mood to explain, he just wanted to make some tea before returning to you. That’s how he ended up wearing your scarf with his white tee shirt and black joggers, an outfit that made zero sense.
“Fine, keep your secrets. And in the future, put the scarf on before the sweet girl with the most loving heart has to be subjected to that,” Nat gestured towards his neck with an irritated look.
Bucky bit his lip, reminding himself that you would prefer to tell her yourself. “Not a problem,” he saluted her from the kitchen. 
Nat sauntered into the kitchen to grab an apple just as Bucky finished pouring out two cups of chamomile tea. One in the wolf mug you had gotten for him, the other in your favorite red mug. The night was still young, and you had fallen asleep early; he had a feeling you’d wake up and want something to drink soon. 
“Two cups?” Nat inquired. 
Bucky’s eyes widened, he had to think of a good reason. “No, well yeah,” he let out a nervous laugh. “I’m really thirsty.”
“Then why didn’t you use a bigger mug? And isn’t that Y/N’s fav–” 
“What is this, an interrogation?” he blurted out as he dragged a hand through his hair. “I have to go, my tea is getting cold.” He swiftly strode out with his drinks, hoping that the jig wasn’t up for your sake. 
Natasha watched as he walked off with that oddly familiar scarf trailing behind him. The normally stoic Bucky was flustered as he covered for the recipient of that second mug. Given your nonchalance towards his earlier love-bitten state, she knew then what you had both worked so hard to conceal – you were sleeping with Bucky. 
┈┈┈┈┈・・
The following morning you decided to grab coffee before Bucky woke up. He looked too peaceful to disturb, so you figured a quick jaunt to the kitchen would be for the best; that’d give you more time for cuddles and kisses prior to starting your day.
You knew that you could start telling people about your relationship, but Bucky had done a number on your neck and you figured you may as well cover it up so that the two of you could share your new official status together. 
After a quick scan of your room you realized that your scarf wasn’t where you’d left it, so you decided to go without. It wasn’t super likely that you’d run into anyone on your way. 
Just as you finished pouring out the second mug of coffee, Nat came in and sat in the seat in front of you. So much for an inconspicuous little trip. 
“Two cups,” she smirked as her gaze glossed over your neck, scattered with hickeys. “Good for you, Barnes isn’t the only one that deserves to have some fun.”
You smiled awkwardly. “Right, of course not.”
“So this was why you weren’t upset when you saw him yesterday? Already had someone of your own.” She feigned ignorance, although she was already certain about what was really going on.
Biting your lip to suppress a smile, you remembered that Bucky wanted to tell everyone, and perhaps you could drop the act now. “I wasn’t upset for a few reasons, Nat.” Heat rushed to your cheeks as you were about to confess the truth. But then Bucky walked in, wearing your scarf along with his pajamas again. 
Nat cocked an eyebrow at Bucky. “They really should be faded by now, no?” 
“Oh, yeah… I’m cold,” he lied, smiling sheepishly at you.
Her gaze returned to yours, a knowing smirk playing on her lips. “How long?”
Bucky came up next to you, breathing a sigh of relief. 
You reached up and started to undo the scarf. “A while,” you grinned, unwrapping your scarf from your goofy boyfriend’s neck.
He pressed a kiss to your forehead before grabbing his coffee. 
“So those flowers I saw Bucky bringing in last week, those were for you?”
You shrugged with a dopey grin.
“Who’d you think they were for? I’ve only wanted her for as long as I’ve known her.” Bucky wrapped his arm around your waist, resting his chin on top of your head. 
“I can’t believe I didn’t see it,” she shook her head in disbelief. It was apparently more than hooking up, and she was astonished by the fact that she’d missed the signs. 
Sam stepped into the kitchen, seeking out coffee for himself. “Hey Buck, are we still on for training this afternoon?” He asked as he poured out a cup, unaffected by the way the giant man was wrapped around you. 
Bucky nodded casually, not trying to hide a thing.
Nat looked between the men. “You knew?!”
Sam smirked. “Some spy you are.” 
“You all suck,” she sarcastically rolled her eyes. Nat couldn't believe that she was one step behind you two, but regardless, she was more than content to see her friends so happy together. 
“I love you!” you exclaimed to placate your best friend. It was hard not to feel a little bad for hiding things from her. 
“Yeah, yeah, we’ll discuss this later.” A trace of a smile crossed her face and you knew that all would be well. 
Inhaling a breath, relief washed over you as you let go of the tension you didn’t even know you were carrying by keeping the secret. 
Standing abruptly, Nat gestured towards the couches. “C’mon Sam, let's leave the lovebirds so you can fill me in on all the fun gossip you have on them.”
Sam chuckled, following after her. “You would not believe what I saw Bucky wearing as he snuck out of Y/N’s room.” 
“Samuel, I swear to god,” Bucky warned. 
You giggled at his empty threat before leaning your head back against his solid, warm chest. You were grateful that you’d no longer have to hide the way you felt about him from the world. 
Bucky tightened the hold that he had on you before whispering in your ear. “You laughing at me, baby?” 
Turning in his arms, a soft smile tugged at your lips as you met his deep blue gaze. “Why, I’d never.”
He pouted his bottom lip as he pretended to sulk for a brief moment before letting out a laugh himself. He was fine with Sam divulging all his secrets because he had you, completely. 
Bucky beamed as he brushed his thumb over your cheekbone, taking in the beauty of the woman he loved so deeply. Clasping your hand, he brought it up and put it over his heart, finally ready to tell you his sweetest secret. “You know… I love you.” 
You felt the strong beat hammering hard in his chest. Your own heart racing just as fast as he smiled down at you. 
Leaning up, you pressed a sweet, tender kiss to his lips. “What a coincidence… because I love you too.” 
The truth was uncovered, and somehow that brought you even closer to the man that held your heart from the day you met, and every single moment after.
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its-time-to-write · 11 months
Text
masterlist
i figured it was time to make one. it's in order based on when i wrote it. please, please let me know if a link is broken/mislabeled!!
*81 fics*
All of these are Jamie Tartt x reader
dress
Jamie and Keeley buy you a dress for the benefit gala
three times 'cause i've waited my whole life
secret relationship to engagement
you're losing me
first kid
don't make this any harder
Jamie wants to take you to Brazil, you’re both idiots
would hit him in a heartbeat now
Your ex boyfriend is a footballer and also a douche
silent sleepers
Jamie contemplates your relationship on the team bus
what it is
Jamie is sick ft. Roy
don't go wasting your emotion
Secret relationship + you own a bookshop! Ft. Roy and Keeley
you know, you'll always know me
You’re a famous singer! Congrats!
i don't know how you keep smiling/i'm just choking almost constantly
Jamie’s dad is a douche
i'll still be right next to you my dear
Jamie is a dad
can't really say i'm enjoying it now
Yikes it’s a breakup fic, but happy endings only in this house
mine of you with me
Reader and Jamie go semi-public with their relationship
today's a day like any other
The Tartt family thru the years
there's orange juice in the kitchen
Oof ouch period cramps
i can't breathe without you
Nate kisses you w/o consent
damned if i do give a damn what people say
You’re a theater actress! How exciting!
island made of faith
People think Jamie’s dumb, and he’s not
take your time while you're mine
You’re Roy’s other sister ft. all the Kents
honey, i'll give you all my time
Vienna. Enough said.
feeling fragile can't you tell
Jamie gets hurt
wrote all your lines in the script in my mind
Oh no! Some girl kissed Jamie and it wasn’t you! + Colin as the bff
stick together like glitter
Babysitting Phoebe + angst
your mind is not your friend
Angst + comfort after you have a bad hookup
chasing shadows in a grocery line
You’re pretty sure you have a hot stalker
don’t go yet
Tee hee protective Jamie at a club
kicking myself to keep from crying
The morning after your mind is not your friend
i think we could do it if we tried
High school sweethearts reunited after 6 years🥺
i’m glad you exist
You and Jamie go to a wedding
send for me
BREAKING: shit day at work made better by local boyfriend
tell me where to put my love
day off = food + snuggles
bored
The longest angst I’ve ever written. Def not the best angst I’ve ever written.
would it be enough if i never gave you peace
you’ve got baby fever and your pretty sure it’s going to kill your brother
wishing on every one
You own a flower shop. It’s adorable.
lyrical eyes, indigo smile
Bea meets the team for the first time!
something to rely on
You storm the pitch and smooch your bf
flipped the script
Enemies to lovers slow burn (or maybe fast burn, idk)
i fancy you
London Boy by ms. T. Swift
you don’t want to know me
Jamie shows up at your door after s.1 Man City
you’re in the kitchen humming
Post-Mom City
family that i chose
For the child-free girlies!
never wanted you to hate me
Pt. 2 of you don’t want to know me
wonderstruck
BFF Keeley tells you to give her awful ex a chance
in love with an idea
idk it’s like a confession of love? kinda cute
sinking into your worn-out mattress
Touch-deprived therapist! reader
you’re a mansion with a view
just two footballers doing an England promo, nothing to see here
i know what i’m doing
Post-Roy/Jamie locker room hug after Man City
wonder what it’d be like
Jamie tries to win you back
if only love were true
You’re a single mom in dire need of a plus-one
i know now it’ll pass
It’s hard to love someone when you’ve been told you don’t deserve it
the way it goes
The Greyhounds are protective of Jamie
how to love being alive
Idk this one’s like whatever and also supes long
there is happiness
GEORGIE GEORGIE GEORGIE
it’s just wanderlust
Relationship soft launch
glitter on the floor
You like to knit. You also think you’re a comedian.
maybe tomorrow you’ll know
The “he’s a prick to everyone but her” trope
hustling for the good life
I swear this is my last chaptered fic
let’s fall in love for the night
Kent!reader is having a baby
soft hands hit the jagged ground
friends w/benefits
for you, there’ll be no more crying
anxiety at work + bf jamie
smile at me
there was only one bed!!!!
slow motion double vision in rose blush
happy b-day Jamie Tartt
half-moon eyes
it’s just a question!
can’t hear my thoughts (i cannot hear my thoughts)
I’m allowed to write what i want, ok???
here in my arms
more Kent!reader + a baby named George
coffee at midnight
prick coach wakes you up bc of your prick boyfriend
healing me fine
Just a lil engagement fic for ya
i don’t know anything
if you’re interested in Bea
right words at the right time
It’s a wedding fic
move fast and keep quiet
boxer!reader + smitten Jamie
not saying you’re in love with me
You meet over Bantr!!!
we could be so good
Jamie comforts you after a bad date
i hold it like a grudge
i don’t even know how to describe this one but u might cry
there for you
sick fic
before you go
physio!reader
you’ll probably date her
chronic illness + childhood friends. gotta love it
feel it burn
Gym anxiety
play it back
Old movies of bb Jamie
ours
Thanksgivinggggg
light in the hallway
MORE Kent!reader
stuck by you
Bad family + good Jamie = fic
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readychilledwine · 4 months
Note
Hello!! I recently found your blog and I love your writing! I was looking at the writing prompts and I fell in love with the touch starved ones.
I was wondering if you could write a Eris or Tarquin x f reader for “the reaching out with their hand without saying anything, wanting the other one to grab it”? I love both males so which ever one is easier for you. But I love the idea of like a stoic reader but the male knows they like physical affection as long as the reader doesn’t look needy.
Thanks in advance and Happy Holidays :)
Take my Hand
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Warning - I changed a little bit of the High Lords meeting because THEY ALL WERE TOO NICE. I love Rhysand, Feyre, and the Night Court, but Kal and Tarquin were way too nice for people who felt their courts were personally targeted by Rhys (Kal especially), self doubt, Beron
A/n - the man in that gift has delicious forearms. I just know it. Ps- I know the fandom as a whole wants to push this narrative that Beron is ugly, but you're calling my book one Lulu ugly when you do that. SJM specifically says Lucien's face in that book is similar to Beron's. I think we all need to face the reality that the man is attractive. He's just a dick and that ruins it.
You were drowning.
High Lord's meetings were not your cup of tea, and they never had been.
Maybe it was your young age, rivaled only by your mate's. Maybe it was the amount of loud males yelling and throwing insults that reminded you far too much of your power-hungry father. Maybe it was just that you were "a sleepy girl," as your mate always so lovingly suggested when you'd rest on his chest.
But this just wasn't your scene.
You rolled your eyes, keeping that bored mask in place as Rhysand went into yet another long dragged out monolog about how he wasn't the monster you all believed he was. It was his third one in less than an hour.
You felt Tarquin look at you from the corner of his eye.
Despite how much you hated being here, you loved him, Gods did you love him. And he needed you.
There were arguments from every delegation of who has the most handsome High Lord. You saw beauty in all of them, though.
Tamlin for his flowing golden hair and piercing green eyes.
Helion for that smirk, his skin that was so flawless you had begged him countless times for his skincare routine.
Kallias was the vision of untouched beauty. He looked like freshly fallen snow.
Thesan for his sharp casual wardrobe, his untouched skill and intelligence, his kind eyes.
Rhysand for being the beauty of night itself. Dark inky hair on golden sun kissed skin. Eyes that held the cosmos like he knew all their secrets.
Even Beron, the oldest of them, had looks that held wisdom as he aged like a fine wine before all of you.
But Tarquin, none of them could hold a candle to. His white hair contrasting against his skin, those ocean eyes, his voice.
You had won the mating lottery with him in looks alone.
But it was his kindness, the one trait so many mistook for weakness, that made you truly fall for him. His kindness and his observational skills.
Tarquin's brows knitted, mouthing a soft "Are you okay?"
You only responded with a smile and small eye roll as Rhys began claiming he had not slaughtered the children in Winter. That another unknown daemati had, and he had convinced Amarantha to do that instead of murdering Kal. All before trying to garner sympathy.
You set your wine glass down a little harder than intended at that. Annoyed that he had an excuse for everything. That he blame shifted everything he had been confronted with so far. Kal rose a brow at you, then smirked. "I believe even, y/n, thinks you are full of shit, Rhysand."
You looked down instantly, cheek heating as everyone's gaze fell toward you. "Would you like to say something?" Thesan spoke gently to you. "Perhaps you can shed some light on the situation in the Summer Court?"
You felt it then. The soft tug on the bond as Tarquin held his hand out to you.
He didn't mean to make you look or feel weak. He didn't mean to make it look like he was reigning you in. He meant it to comfort you. To bring you back to him. Back to this moment. This critical meeting that could decide the fate of your court. Your home. His fae. Fae you two had been spending so much time bring to break the social standards with. Fae you were just earning the trust of.
He offered you his hand as his love, as his support, and as a grounding tool. You took it silently, body easing at the softness and warmth of his fingers and palms.
"You came to our home, and we welcomed you as honored guests," you started slowly, refusing to look at him. "We told you our hopes, the steps we were taking for equality, far taxation, wages, you pretended to care and support us. Then you stole from us. You stole from us when we welcomed you as our friends."
Feyre looked down, guilt now hitting her. You two had grown close quickly. Instant friends who enjoyed each other's company. "We had no choice," Rhysand answered smoothly.
"You could have asked us," Tarquin replied. "You could have told us the truth and asked us. Now you ask us to blindly trust you when you've already done that, and your mate, your Court's High Lady, opened the gate for Hybern to enter my territory out of rage against Tamlin."
Rhys had no response. He was looking to you. "Your only saving grace with me, Rhysand," you felt Tarquin squeeze your hand to calm the wave of emotion going through you, "is the fact that your court is the only one who came when we were attacked. Why did you bother doing that after everything you had done?"
Tarquin hummed his approval softly, another gentle squeeze and tug on the bond.
Rhysand's offer was soft. His voice showing he understood the hurt he had done. The personal damage his actions had caused. "Because that's what friends do."
You sighed, allowing Tarquin to take over as the stoic mask of silence fell back in place. Three squeezed came to your hand. A message you and he had made when you were trapped under that mountain together.
It was a message.
One you felt as you squeezed his hand three times back.
"I love you," it said.
Five squeezes came next, conveying the message you needed, "You are safe. I'm here." You broke that mask. Hand moving up to his bicep and head falling into his shoulder. You didn't listen as Rhys addressed you, your court.
You knew you personally would not forgive them.
But if Tarquin did, you would support him, so long as he kept your hand in his.
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