#yoongi idolverse
Text
Chaeri as the 8th and youngest member of BTS.
CHAERI'S MASTERLIST
A love interests' timeline
Lets take a closer look at each of these points
❐ Cha Eun-Woo
჻ They met by chance on a small forum whose members were trainees and emerging idols of the time.
჻ He left a comment under a meme posted by her
჻ They first started talking to each other in the forum's private chat and then exchanged numbers
჻ Their conversations were almost entirely an endless sending of memes to each other
჻ The first time they had a conversation on the phone Chaeri had to hide in Taehyung, Jimin and Hobi's room, as she was sharing a room with Namjoon and Jungkook
჻ If Namjoon knew she was on the phone with a boy he would have asked her questions immediately afterwards
჻ In any case, she couldn't hide it from him for too long because a few months later Eunwoo asked her out on a date and she was forced to ask permission to hyung line
჻ Generally, when she was a teenager, the hardest approval to get was Namjoon's.
჻ In fact, he told her that she was too young to go out with guys she met online.
჻ Oh, she sulked at him for a whole week.
჻ Of course, as time went by, the messages between the two became less and less.
჻ To this day, they are good friends who fans often see interacting with each other at public events
჻ Chaeri refers to him, in private conversations, jokingly, as "the missed husband"
❐ Hoshi (Seventeen)
჻ Not much to say about them
჻ Chaeri became very familiar with the members of SEVENTEEN during the ISAC days
჻ Especially, she was impressed by Mingyu, The8 and Vernon who, to this day, are some of her closest friends
჻ Hoshi, noticing how well they got along with the youngest of the BTS, tried to approach them in any way he could
჻ He was always very kind and respectful towards her
჻ After ISAC ended, he waited a full year before getting up the courage to confess
჻ He told her just before the end of the last athletic activity day
჻ Chaeri told him he was very cute but that she wasn't interested
❐ Dean
჻ Dean noticed Chaeri walking behind Taehyung's back during one of their video calls
჻ It's a ritual for them - he and Tae - to call each other at least once a month to chat and congratulate mutually on their successes.
჻ Seeing the girl, however, made him want to promise his friend that he would visit him as soon as possible.
჻ And so he did
჻ His relaxed nature and ability to feel at ease with everyone did not make him feel the slightest shame in making his intentions clear right away
჻ "You don't even know me and you want to ask me out?"
"Ever heard of love at first sight?"
჻ Chaeri told him not to take it the wrong way but he was too old for her, besides the fact that she had no intention of dating him
჻ Taehyung teases him about it as often as he sees him, he also call him 'old' at every good opportunity
❐ Jungkook
჻ Actually, their first kiss was not just before they became a couple, nor was it during that time
჻ Chaeri asked Jungkook to kiss her when she was 17.
჻ There were several factors that led her to that request (she should have known it was only the first of a very long series of times she would ask him to kiss her)
჻ The first reason was her love for one of the most watched kdramas of the time: Oh my Ghostess
჻ To put it in a nutshell, a ghost returns to earth to have at least one love experience before going to the afterlife for good
჻ The second was that all the girls she met spent time opening up about their relationships/love affairs.
჻ For them, girl-only groups, it was definitely easier to interact with a love interest
჻ She, instead, always so busy and surrounded by seven wonderful and protective boys, had never been able to have any relevant experience.
჻ She felt she was lagging behind the others but having to admit made her feel terribly shy about it
჻ Which says a lot because Chaeri is NEVER shy
჻ One day in the small living room of their dorms Chaeri was sitting on the floor in front of the TV watching the kdrama mentioned earlier. Behind her Jungkook and Taehyung on the sofa
჻ "Even ghosts have a better love life than me!"
჻ "It's not such a big deal you know"
჻ The girl turned around and sent him a glare "You say that because no one has ever denied you a date"
჻ The two boys barely held back their laughter "Would you've kissed that friend of yours on the first date? Because otherwise nothing would've changed from the way it is now"
჻ "Yes"
"Yes?"
"Yes, totally"
"You can't kiss someone you don't actually know"
჻ "Then why don't you kiss me since we've lived together for years"
჻ The first proper kiss, however, was not preceded by any requests
჻ It is very common for the boys to make clips in which they dance to choreographies created by Chaeri, along with her
჻ Many of these are even uploaded to the company's official channels
჻ One in particular was never uploaded, fortunately I might add
჻ The footage was promptly taken away by the two guys who still jealously treasure the camera card
჻ That month it was Jungkook's turn. Chaeri had chosen him to dance with her
჻ It took them very little to learn the choreography. A single minute of dance that would surely guarantee millions of views.
჻ Plus, they always loved dancing together
჻ Many choreographers have them interact during dances because, according to them, the two are very compatible physically
჻ Anyway, Chaeri expressly asked for them to be left alone with the camera, which, no matter what, it could be placed on a tripod without requiring movement
჻ If the choreography could be explained in one word that would be Intense
჻ And it definitely shouldn't have ended with Chaeri between his legs and her lips pressed to his, but that variance was clearly enjoyed more by them both
჻ That something in them had slowly changed over time was evident to all
჻ The eyes in constant search of each other, the casual but not so much touches, the chatting late into the night despite the fact that they would have to work the next morning..
჻ It was all a natural and gradual process that led Chaeri to kiss him that day
჻ And it was even more natural to become a couple, as if they were meant to be from the first moment they met
- the choreo ⬊
❐ Jinwoo Yoon
჻ It may sound strange to hear for a star as famous as Chaeri but, between the two of them, she is definitely more of a fan of his than vice versa.
჻ Having a passion for dance, she finds it absolutely inspiring to seek out new talent on platforms such as YouTube
჻ Jinwoo Yoon, even with an already well-established career, was not easy to track down
჻ Back then, Big Hit was looking to hire new people to fill the roles of choreographers and she was desperate for him to apply for the job
჻ So, with all the scandal that such exposure could create if he didn't keep their interactions confidential, she decided to personally text him to congratulate and make him aware of the job position in her company
჻ Jinwoo Yoon certainly didn't ask for it twice
჻ At the casting, she, Hobi and Namjoon were also present (as almost every time their team had to expand and the dance department was involved. Namjoon, instead, was there as leader of course)
჻ Jinwoo Yoon, reserved, talented and extremely humble felt honoured from the first moment he heard that Chaeri had considered him
჻ It was not too difficult to join the crew, unexpectedly
჻ The two immediately seemed to understand each other very well
჻ So well that, unfortunately, not too long after, the choreographer started to have feelings for her
჻ You could see it from the way he looked at her every time he saw her moving according to his directions in the room
჻ He wasn't great at hiding it, all the members were aware of it
჻ To avoid misunderstandings he decided to speak to her clearly at the cafeteria of the building one morning
჻ It often happened that they had breakfast together, always the first ones to arrive in the practice room
჻ Chaeri's eyes were so sorry when she had to tell him that she was not interested but that she hoped it would not affect their professional partnership
჻ Luckily, to this day, Jinwoo Yoon is happily engaged and the professional ties with the boys and Chaeri continue to flow peacefully
❐ Hongjoong
჻ First met at MAMAs 2019, where ATEEZ appeared for the first time at the awards event
჻ In their performance they also included a tribute to the very famous BTS song, Blood sweat and tears
჻ This was so unexpected for Chaeri, who until then had been distracted greeting fans, that her reaction was broadcast on the big screen
჻ Pleasantly surprised at how much they were honouring the iconic song, she didn't take her eyes off them until the end of their performance
჻ Her first thought about ATEEZ was that they were talented and captivating to watch
჻ Only when they returned to their seats Chaeri realised that they were actually only a little further ahead than where she and her group had been positioned
჻ And everyone knows Chaeri and her 'act before you think' philosophy of life, do you think she missed the opportunity to go and congratulate them in person?
჻ So in theory there should be nothing wrong with that. But the fact that they were live and everyone could see her actions could, surely, lead to speculation about favouritism on their part for the neo-group. Add to that the fact that local newspapers would have taken the opportunity to add the words 'Chaeri' and 'Love at first sight' to the headlines of their articles.
჻ Precisely to alleviate all this, Jimin ran after her in order to make it seem as if the idea of approaching the boys came from both of them
჻ All ATEEZ members bowed gratefully, honoured to receive attention from their seniors at work
჻ Chaeri, more than Jimin, said she was impressed by their performance and would certainly look them up on the net
჻ Hongioong, as the leader/captain of the group, took the floor to thank them
჻ He, himself, believes he fell in love at that very moment. The moment she stood in front of them and, with great humility, congratulated them enthusiastically
჻ That the only BTS girl was a very nice person he already knew. As the fan he was, this detail had not escaped him but, in person, she was even more so.
჻ The conversation seemed to go on far too long for Namjoon's eyes, who was always observant of everything his members were doing
჻ Chaeri was so caught up in it that she was even about to sit next to the group of young men except that Jimin, after receiving a warning glare from his leader, gently told her it was time to return to their seats
჻ They didn't see each other for a long time but, shortly after the mentioned event, Hongioong wrote on his social profile that he was particularly excited about the new single Chaeri had released
჻ In response, the girl thanked him privately but the interactions between them stopped at that, for a long time
჻ The great thing about being an idol is that, most of the time, people were convinced they could follow their every move but actually had no idea how many ways they could cover their tracks and look like they were each in a different place when together, instead
჻ And stunt doubles spotted in passing, pre-recorded videos aired at the time, hints on their social networks, allowed EVERY YEAR all the 98' line idols to have a party in one of the most beautiful, exclusive and private hotels in Seoul.
჻ Chaeri has no memory of a year when she was not there. In fact she was one of the main host of the event
჻ Nor does she have any memory of a year where at least half the members of her group asked her to bring them along
჻ "You are too old to be at this party. I don't sneak into yours... well, most of the time."
჻ "And also, I have a date there"
჻ It wasn't true, she just wanted to make Jungkook pay (irrationally, of course) for making her jealous after something he did (not that she could blame him for it, they were forced not to be together but still her personality kept her from acting otherwise)
჻ What she didn't imagine was finding Jk and V at the party, after a matter of time
჻ To say she was angry would be understating it
჻ "Pretend to be my date" Was what she said to Hongjoong when she approached him, without even waving at him first
჻ "What?"
"Pretend to be my date"
"Sure, I can... I can do that. But why?"
" Does it matter?"
჻ Everything began that way
[JK and V's iconic appearance at the 98' line party ↴ ]
credits to medias owners
#bts 8th member#bts female member#bts eighth member#bts female addition#bts scenarios#ateez scenarios#bts imagines#ateez imagines#jungkook scenarios#jungkook x reader#hongjoong imagines#bts#bangtan sonyeondan#bangtan#bts idol au#idolverse#jimin#bts v#taehyung#hoseok#j hope#rap monster#namjoon#jin#seokjin#suga#yoongi
181 notes
·
View notes
Text
Nation’s Innocence
Thank you @caelesjjk for the banner!
Synopsis: He was the nation's bad boy and you were the nation’s innocence. Who knew you were secretly dating, and were quite intimate at that?
Pairing: idol Yoongi x idol reader
Genre/ au: smut, idolverse
Word count: 2,986
Rating: 18+
Warnings: Mostly smut, buff ginger Yoongi, swearing, reference to quarantine, reference to controlling label
Smut warnings: semi public sex, car sex, grinding, groping, ass slapping/ spanking, oral (m receiving), hair tugging, fingering, finger sucking, making out, begging, raw (wrap it before you tap it), vaginal sex, belly bulge, marking, nipple play, tit sucking, choking, creampie, big dick Yoongi, dom Yoongi, sub reader, corruption kink, slight praise kink, degradation kink (whore, slut, bitch)
We don’t gotta test drive nothin’ - Ariana Grande
---
Parked in an empty parking lot outside of Seoul, you and Yoongi unbuckle your seatbelts. It is a bit past 11:30 PM, with the stars shining a bit brighter out here compared to the city. The full moon stands out against the dark sky, adding a little bit of light. Normally there may have been some others here at a small mall like this one at this hour, but due to recent regulations, most people now are at home by this hour. It was hard for you to sneak out of the dorm without getting caught, but Yoongi has taught you how to do it well. He knows a thing or two about being sneaky. He’s called the nation's bad boy for a reason. But he’s really quite sweet once you get past his cold exterior.
You both know what you're about to do. Ever since you started seeing Yoongi, you feel lucky your label forces all female idols to take the pill, because now that means you can do whatever you want with him without worries. But you also know full well dating and hooking up is also against the contract, so an eye for an eye you suppose.
This is gonna be the last time you can meet up with Yoongi before he flies off to the US for a month for a work schedule and vacation. You watch him as he slides off his hoodie, revealing hints of his muscular body under his white t-shirt and jeans. His newly dyed ginger hair looks extremely good on him, something the fans will surely lose their minds over. You’ve been eyeing him for the entire car ride, anticipating what you’ll be doing for the night.
He’s been giving you glances throughout the ride too, taking in your figure that is hidden under a hoodie and skirt. Not to mention the long socks and sneakers. Your cap and mask have been long forgotten as you fiddle with the hem of your skirt.
After putting on a special playlist for the occasion, Yoongi tunes it down to a semi low volume before turning to you.
“Are you ready to be ruined?” he asks.
“I was born ready,” you reply, smirking at him. You crawl on over, straddling him. Your skirt hitches up as you do. Placing your hands on his shoulder, you still smirk at him.
“Bold of you to take charge.”
“Not for long, baby. Let me please you.”
He puts his hands on your ass as you grind into him. You feel his member prodding against your core, slowly growing against the cloth between you. Feeling his member scraping against your core, you feel yourself starting to get wet under him. A whimper escapes your lips, causing you to bite your lower lip.
“Don’t hold it back baby,'' Yoongi says. “I want to hear it all. I want to hear you getting ruined by me.”
Releasing your lip, another whimper leaves your lip as his now hard member presses into your wet core. Yoongi’s grip tightens on your ass as you pick up your pace. He tilts his head back, jaw dropping in pleasure. You are beginning to feel more and more needy and Yoongi is too. Yoongi continues to grope your ass until suddenly, he slaps it.
“Is that all you got, bitch?” he taunts. “You gotta earn my dick.”
You pick up your pace once again, practically bouncing on him now. He slaps your ass some more, as though he is riding a horse. A long groan leaves Yoongi’s lips, his member feeling tight against his clothes.
“Yoongi,” you moan. “Please…”
“You’re such a needy whore,” he says. “For a girl nicknamed ‘Nation’s Innocence’ you surely are one big slut. Baby stop, I’ve got plans for you.”
He opens the door motioning for you to get out. You happily oblige, getting on your knees for him. The early November cold pricks at your skin, but you’re layered enough that you should be okay. Untying his belt, he sets it aside on the dashboard. Undoing his jeans, he pulls his cock out. His member is red and twitches, needing attention. The length and girth of it will be a lot to handle.
Sliding between Yoongi’s legs, you place your hands on his knees and look up at him with big eyes. He sticks his cock in front of your face.
“Suck me off like your life depends on it.” he commands.
Opening your mouth, you start to take him in. His girth makes you struggle to take him in, causing you to grunt. He places a hand at the back of your head to help you. Soon his cock reaches your throat and Yoongi thrusts in a little bit more for good measure. His fingers seep into your hair, tugging a little.
You start to bob your head on him, mouth and tongue doing work on Yoongi’s cock. He throws his head back, mouth agape as you pleasure him. You puff your cheeks before suching harshly. Yoongi sucks his breath as your tongue glides along him.
“Good girl,” he mutters. “You’re sucking me so well. You’re such a good slut.”
With a little tug from Yoongi on your hair, you start bobbing your head faster. His cock repeatedly ends up at the back of your throat again and again. Tears well up in your eyes as you try to take him the best you can.
Again you puff out your checks, sucking down more harshly on his cock this time. His cock goes deep into your throat as tears begin to roll down your face. Your knees hurt from being like this for so long and your throat hurts too. Your tongue does tricks on him as he moans about how good you are. Pleasure builds up on your panties and down your legs, your pussy throbbing for attention.
You grunt and whimper into him, causing him to finally lift his head and open his eyes. What he sees is your pretty little face sucking his cock like the good slut you are, except now tears are present.
“Stop, sucking,” he commands. Once you do, he pulls your head back, his cock leaving your lips. “What’s the problem?”
“Well…” you say, voice a bit raspy. “My throat was hurting a bit… And the ground is pretty uncomfortable… Yoongi, I really want your cock…”
“Where?”
“In my pussy.”
“What do you say?”
“Please Yoongi, please,” you say, crawling up to him. “I want you to fuck me so bad. My pussy is throbbing for your cock. Please, please, please fuck me.”
He looks down, seeing your juices dripping down your legs. All of this neediness is for him. His mouth waters at the side of your neediness dripping between your legs. How could he not give you a treat? Something he knows you’ve been wanting for a long while.
“Get on inside,” he says at last. Climbing inside, he positions you so that you're in a seated position on his lap but your upper half is over the console and front passenger seat. Kind of like doggy style. As he closes the car door, you point your ass up towards Yoongi and he flips the skirt out of the way down onto your back.
He pulls down your panties, a slick string of juices follow. Leaving the panties at your knees, Yoongi brings his digits back up, circling your clit. You whimper at his touch as his finger does tricks against your clit. Inserting a digit, Yoongi starts to gently thrust his finger into you. You sigh at its coldness against your walls. Yoongi licks his lips, watching as he thrusts his digit into you. Your walls suck him, enticing him.
Inserting another digit, he starts thrusting a bit harsher into you. You let out soft sighs as his slender fingers glide in and out of your pussy. Scissoring your walls, Yoongi strokes your ass.
“You’re pussy looks so beautiful, Y/N,” he mutters. “I can’t wait to see what it looks like with my cock inside it, ruining you. You’re just an innocent little slut, aren’t you?”
“Y-yes,” you whimper softly, feeling Yoongi insert a third digit into you.
“What was that?”
“Yes, Yoongi. I’m an innocent slut… Please ruin me.”
“You want to be ruined, eh? Oh I’ll make sure there’s no innocence left once I’m done fucking you.”
He slaps your ass as he starts harshly ramming his digits into you. You start moaning, feeling the fiery knot in your core build a little. Every slap on your ass brings pleasurable pain shooting through you.
“Not so innocent now, you whore,” Yoongi exclaims, spanking your ass again. “Who’s responsible for corrupting the nation's innocence?”
“You,” you moan out as he starts ramming his digits harder into you.
“What’s my name, bitch?” he asks, harshly slapping your ass.
“Yoongi!” you practically scream and moan. “Min Yoongi is responsible for ruining me! Please ruin me more!”
“Oh you aren’t ruined enough you little slut? How would you like to be ruined?”
“I want your cock! Please Yoongi, ruin me with your cock. I’ve never had good cock until you.”
“To be honest, dear, my dick is the only dick that’s ever ruined you. But you need to be a good girl to earn it. Do you know how to be a good girl for me, miss nation’s innocence?”
“Please Yoongi. Please ruin me with your cock. Please take my innocence for good like you promised. I’ll always be a good girl for you Yoongi. Please I want you so bad babe. Fuck me senseless. Please… Min Yoongi, I'm begging you. I’ve been such a good girl. I’ll always be a good girl for you.”
“You’re such a good girl, it's bad. I think you’ve earned it.”
Stopping his thrusts, he pulls his fingers out of your throbbing pussy. Helping you up, Yoongi puts his now wet fingers in front of your face.
“Suck me dry, will you?” he asks. Softly taking him by the wrist, you take his fingers to your lips. You suck them, tasting your juices.You sigh into it, eagerly sucking away. “This is only before my cock and you're already so excited. How cute.”
Removing his fingers from your mouth. He harshly placed his lips against yours. Yoongi can taste your arousal all over as he sticks his tongue inside. As you passionately kiss, articles of clothing get removed. A skirt. A pair of jeans. A hoodie. And so on. This only leaves your bare bodies exposed. Yoongi’s buff figure is something you can’t help but eye as he lowers the seat back until it is mostly flat.
Flipping you around, Yoongi ends up on top, gazing down at you with hungry eyes. Yoongi gives his cock a few pumps before he places his hands on your waist. You wrap your arms around his back and legs around his hips, pulling his hips down. His cock teases your entrance, gaining an anticipatory whimper from your lips. Yoongi softly smirks to himself.
Finally, Yoongi enters your pussy at long last. Your walls stretch as he slowly pushes himself deep into you. You can only watch in awe as his cock bulges in your pussy as he pushes deeper and deeper. The stretch hurts a little but it only brings you more pleasure. Finally his girth fills you up, with a bulge that you could only describe as jaw dropping. Yoongi looks down as well, smirking at the bulge. He smirks back at you, almost as if to say ‘I told you so’.
He lets you fully adjust to his size before pulling part way out, promptly thrusting back into you. Yoongi starts with moderate thrusts, hips sharply snapping his cock deep into your pussy. Moaning, your nails sink into his back in pleasure. As lewd noises fill the car, Yoongi peppers your skin with kisses, leaving marks as he goes. He gives extra attention to your sweet spot, tongue gliding along your skin before nibbling down. With care, his lips travel all over your neck, shoulders, and chest.
“Yoongi,” you moan out as he gets to your breasts. Yoongi trails his lips over one, gently placing his them over your tit. As he sucks, he places a hand on the other one, hands kneading it like a cat. You stare up at the ceiling as Yoongi sucks and fondles your boobs, sighing and whimpering in pleasure.
Yoongi traces his tongue over your breast, nibbling down on your erect tit. He moves his jaw slightly, giving a little twist. His thrusts remain stable throughout this, building the fire in your core. His hand kneads down, fingers doing wonders on your breast. Yoongi’s fingers find your tit and give it a little squeeze, making you whimper. He sucks on your nipple, little licks from his tongue gazing against your tit on the occasion. His other hand grasps your hip, keeping it steady against his thrusts.
Yoongi removes his lips from your breast, a slight pop filling the air. He places his hand back at your hip, lips trailing up your chest to your neck. He picks up his thrusts, snapping into you more quickly and harshly. As he rams his cock into your pussy, he sucks at your neck, grunting against you here and there. Your jaw drops in pleasure, with a slew of moans of moans and sighs leaving your lips.
Yoongi picks his head up, watching your face make beautifully lewd expressions. It is only more arousing with the slew of noises leaving your lips. It’s addictive and he can’t get enough of it.
“Y/N,” he moans. “Fuck. Look at what you do to me, baby. Seeing you turn into such a slut does so much to me. Who made you such a slut, nation's innocence?”
“Yoongi,” you moan. “I’m a slut for Min Yoongi.”
“Who else?”
“Just Min Yoongi. I’m only a slut for you.”
“Good girl,” he says, placing a hand at your neck. He places his fingers in behind your throat, gently pressing down. It is slightly restrictive but isn’t concerning. Yoongi is really the careful type, not wishing to inadvertently cause actual harm to the ones he loves for momentary pleasure.
Feeling your pulse, you start to feel a bit lightheaded from Yoongi’s gentle press. He still is looking down at your face, grunting and sighing as he rams into you. Sighing, you look up at Yoongi, face showing a mix of pleasure and lightheadedness. Yoongi cocks his head back, moaning.
“You don’t know how much you do to me,” he groans. You softly smile at him, sighing in pleasure. He removes his hand from your throat, placing it back at your hip. He picks up his pace yet again, snapping his cock into you hard and fast.
The car bounces every time he rams his cock into you. He slams into your cervix again and again, causing pleasure to shoot through you. Your legs tighten around his waist a little, with your fingers digging into his back. The lewd noises fill the car, seeming a bit louder due to the small environment.
Yoongi starts to moan and sigh, muttering your name, nicknames, and praises. His fingers dig into your hips as he rams into your pussy. His strong arms tense up as he does. The windows have long since fogged up, only aiding in your privacy.
Feeling your high around the corner, you only start to become more vocal, jaw dropping as you let out a slew of moans. Yoongi’s face is just as expressive as yours now, with him also nearing his climax. Sweat glistens on his face and muscular body, only making him look so much more sexy. He’s worked himself so much just for you.
Your pussy feels so nice wrapped around his cock. It sucks him just right as he pounds deep into it. It is driving him crazy and he can’t get enough of it. Not to mention how expressive and vocal you are because of him. Seeing the sweaty glow of sex on your beautiful face and body as your hair drapes off the seat only spurs him on. You’re like this because of him and it is so beautiful.
“Y/N, you’re too good - oh Y/N,” Yoongi moans out before sighing. He rams into your g-spot as he does, making you come at last. You moan and scream Yoongi’s name, legs tightening around his waist as you see stars. It is such a powerful climax and Yoongi fucks you through it, feeling your arms and legs tighten around him, pulling him closer.
Your pussy is so tight around him as he thrusts into it, driving him wild. Hips shuddering, Yoongi thrusts his cock deep into your pussy, cumming. As you both cum, you grind against each other, milking every drop. Your pussy is now more filled than it was before and you can feel it. Cum is already starting to drip out as your grind.
Once you both finish, Yoongi lays on top of you, exhausted. His now soft member is still inside your dripping pussy. He places soft, loving kisses on your lips.
“You're just so good to me, baby,” he mutters between kisses.
“You ruined me so well,” you softly praise. “I love you.”
“I love you too… Let’s just… Stay like this for a bit, please? I promise I’ll drive you home soon.”
“There’s no place I’d rather be than with you, babe.”
So you stay there, softly and passionately kissing in his car, with all the time in the world slipping away as you spend these final, infinite moments with the man you love; Min Yoongi. The nation's bad boy. But he’ll come running back, he always does. Because how could he ever truly leave the woman he loves, the nation’s innocence?
#btsdreamcourt#btswritingcafe#btscarnivalnet#bts#suga#yoongi#reader#x reader#yoongi x reader#idolverse#smut#y/n
231 notes
·
View notes
Text
ONGOING
SERIES
☆ QUERENCIA
ㅤㅤhybrid! ot7 x hybrid! male! reader // college au, hybrid au
ㅤㅤㅤ🪐 you, a rabbit hybrid away from home to study, run into a group of ㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤ surprisingly friendly and calm (also very attractive) predators who are a ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤpack and live together suddenly run into your life like a bulldozer. the ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ dull days of your life may turn into days of joy and laughter, or will the ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ days turn into gloom and a sad everafter?
ONESHOTS
coming soon!
UP AND COMING
SERIES
☆ MAP OF THE KINKS: bangtan's 7
ㅤㅤbts x reader // smut oneshot collection
ㅤㅤㅤ🪐 welcome to map of the kinks: bangtan's 7! today we will be navigating ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ out way through the inner desires of the boys. Just how are they in bed? ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤIs Jimin as nasty and sexy as his stage presence? Is Jungkook really as ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤpure and innocent as his eyes make him to be? Let's see as we dive into ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤthis map.
☆ always and forever more yours
ㅤㅤot7 x idol! female! reader // idol au
ㅤㅤㅤ🪐 you were supposed to be just a shadow member of BTS, the one ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ maknaes leaned on and the hyungs relied on. Years together and ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ starting together from sticks and stones. It just seems that it's tough ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ being the only female and shadow member of the big and bold BTS.
ONESHOTS
coming soon!
#: ̗̀➛beige basement writes#: ̗̀➛mommy fries writing#: ̗̀➛bbw masterlist#ot7 x reader#jeon jungkook x reader#kim seokjin x reader#jung hoseok x reader#kim namjoon x reader#kim taehyung x reader#bts x reader#park jimin x reader#fluff#masterlist#bts masterlist#idol#idol bts#idolverse#bts fic#min yoongi x reader#jungkook x reader#jungkook smut#jungkook fic#jungkook#idol jungkook#jungkook series#bts smut#bts fanfic#bts series#hoseok x reader#hobi x reader
48 notes
·
View notes
Text
Steel Blue: The Breaking
Shades of Obsession
Steel Blue Masterlist
****
Yandere Yoongi x Original Character
The following day had started unexpectedly to say the least. Holly had put it on herself to cook breakfast every day before she and Yoongi left for their respective workplaces. But she woke up to an empty bedside and the aroma of freshly made breakfast wafting through the drawing room and kitchen.
“Yoongi?”
She had not even expected him to be there. Yoongi, whom she had come to know over the years with him, had the tendency to avoid confrontation, especially after any upsetting argument- it was his way of maintaining peace.
So she was surprised, to say the least when she found him in the kitchen, making breakfast.
“Oh, hi-good morning. Why don’t you freshen us, I’m almost done.” he turned to her and responded like it was an everyday occurrence.
Like things were not going downhill.
But she chose not to say a word and simply oblige. She did not even remember when she fell asleep last night. She had gotten straight home and then under the covers with the hope that by the time Yoongi would be home, she would be fast asleep. And it worked- because she had cried her way back to the apartment and then to her sleep.
And now she was simply tired.
Every time Holly saw him, all she could think of was how he revealed his thoughts regarding their engagement. And every time she looked at the gleaming diamond sitting on her finger, her heart ached.
The morning routine went by in monotony anyway.
Breakfast on the table was dominated by silence. Though Yoongi did speak, occasionally showing interest in her colleagues and work projects, it was mostly white noise to Holly’s senses.
The day went by, and the next, and the following days.
He wanted to put effort, Holly could not unsee that- even if she wanted to. She was simply too tired and dismayed to respond. She was in Seoul because she had requested a transfer to the Seoul branch of the multinational company she worked in. She was about to complete her fourth year there and every time she realised that she was reminded of all the hollow dreams she had naively woven.
She returned to an empty apartment- nothing unusual for her anymore. Yet this time, the emptiness made her contemplate the most. It was like being a silent spectator when all the memories played in her mind.
She ran her fingers through the shirt she had gifted him- black looked exceptionally good on him. She loved it when he wore black, especially with the Rolex watch that would gleam under expensive chandeliers. Paired with spectacles and he would be a sight to behold- too attractive to take her eyes off him.
She imagined him walking through the door in the exact getup, as he had done on their first date since she had moved to Seoul.
Holly smiled, remembering the passionate night that had followed. She had stayed that night with him- and she could swear that there was no other home she wished to be in at that time. Yet, looking at how things turned up.
She could not help but bring the shirt closer and smell it. And though it smelled like all the freshly washed clothes in the closet- to her, it also smelt like all the beautiful moments they had spent together and the memories they shared.
And finally, the dam broke. Pitiful but0 unburdening sobs escaped her mouth as she sunk to the floor, her tears melting in the shirt, disappearing into the darkness.
—------
He could see it- the love of his life slipping from his fingers like fine sand- and each passing moment brought him closer to a confrontation Yoongi knew was inevitable. It was like something changed after that night after he finally confessed his truest thoughts about their engagement.
Yoongi noticed how she would not play with the ring on his finger that much. In fact, she did not play with his hands that often. The nights of chatting in the dark became far in between. All of this had happened in just a week.
The drastic change turned him even more desperate to save their relationship because no matter how rare his love confessions were, or what he thought regarding their engagement. He loved Holly Wilson with all of his heart. And he loved her enough to see a future with her. He loved her with all of his heart and every inch of his physical self and beyond. He loved her. He really did but it was a like a glass wall had appeared between them. No matter what he did, or said his actions, his message did not seem to reach her.
And this was exactly what was happening at the dinner at an expensive restaurant that had perfect privacy for them. On every rare occasion they could dine out together, in peace, they always would have so much to talk about. But this time, it was silence. And Yoongi was not familiar with the strange, uncomfortable silence.
He paid for the meal and began to drive home with Holly in the passenger seat. But it was like a switch flipped and he drove the car into a secluded road. He noticed her frown, but the lack of a verbal question ticked him off. Quickly parking the car on the side of the road, he turned to her.
“Why didn’t you question me?”
“What?” she was visibly confused and clueless.
“I took a wrong turn and you did not even mention it?”
“You drove through that path a hundred times, Yoongi, I thought you would know.”
“So? So you would not point it out to me?”
“What is this coming from?”
Yoongi looked away and fought back the tears stinging his eyes. Leaning against his seat, he let out a deep, anguished breath and shook his head.
“I’m sorry.” he gulped, feeling his voice cracking “I am so, sorry. I messed up. I know I…But I can’t take this anymore. I feel it in my bones, I am losing you…” a single tear did manage to escape the corner of his eye before he turned towards her.
She had her eyes on him. The streetlight above them partially lit up her face, her eyes remained in the darkness but he could see the tears shining in them.
“Come back to me, Holly… Please come back to me.”
“Can you be as happy as you were before the engagement, Yoongi?” her voice was soft “Will you be a truly happy man in marriage Yoongi?”
“I am trying, please I’m trying to recover.”
“I don’t think it can be recovered, Yoongi.”
“Then what should I do!?” he asked- utterly tired and frustrated.
“Tell me honestly, Yoongi. Do you really believe that marriage is meaningless?”
“A ring does not decide our future, Holly it cannot.” he stated desperately, trying to express his point of view “It does not and cannot change the fact that I love you.”
“But it is important for me Yoongi. It is important. I tried so hard and I never intended to make you feel suffocated. But I did, didn’t I? I know your priorities, and I had promised myself to never interfere with that. But you are right. I tried too hard, and perhaps I did lose myself. I do not recognise myself anymore, I do not recognise you anymore, I do not know us anymore.”
Yoongi reached out his palm to touch her cheek.
“I will make this right. We have fought in the past and we always sorted a way out. We can do this.”
“Please be honest with me Yoongi, do you even want to marry me in future? Do you even see yourself married to me?”
“I…” his palm slipped away “Is marriage so important?”
He felt a drop of tear on his retreating hand before she looked away.
“Let’s just go back, it’s getting late. Not safe for us.” she whispered out.
Yoongi sighed as he restarted the car. This was perhaps the most hopeless of situations he had been in so far with her. But he would make it right. He had to.
“I will be leaving for shooting a music video tomorrow. I will be back in a week or so. We…We can visit Mr Kang then, okay? We will get through this, Holly, we always do.”
This time, he did not wait for her reply, he simply turned the car and drove through the route they always used.
—------
“Hyung?”
Yoongi turned around to find Namjoon behind him, a frown of concern settled between the younger’s eyebrows as he approached him.
“Joon, why are you up?”
“I could ask you the same. You smoking again?”
Namjoon knew that he smoked when he was stressed or sad. It was well past midnight and a smoking Yoongi at the Hotel lodge definitely concerned the younger, he could see it.
“Don’t worry, just trying to get through jetlag.”
Namjoon hummed and took a seat beside him.
“You don’t smoke to get through jetlag, you smoke when you are stressed.” he pointed out.
Yoongi smiled and put the cigarette between his lips again. There was no hiding from his best friend.
“You spoke to Holly, right?”
Yoongi nodded slowly at the question “And we are still stuck…Does marriage really matter so much, Joon?”
“Depends from person to person. It might mean a lot to her and not as much to you. But that does not make you love each other any less, does it?” he replied simply
“I’m losing her Namjoon.” Yoongi felt the familiar sting behind his eyes as his mind replayed the last conversation they had two days ago. “And I cannot lose her, I love her.”
“Then show it to her. Call for her with all you have, put all you have into pursuing her back, and let your love speak in this situation. She loves you too, I see it in her eyes. She will see your love, she will understand.”
“You think I did not try?”
“Then try harder, try just as desperate as you feel.”
“I love her, Namjoon. I cannot lose her.”
“We do not lose our lovers, hyung. You know that right?” there was a strange gleam in Namjoon’s eyes.
Sometimes, Yoongi forgot how things worked in their world.
“Marriage will change everything, Namjoon. I will fail as a husband, she will hate me.”
“Why would she? And why would you fail? You make her so happy and she makes you happy. Just don’t give up. Just don’t give up hyung.” he engulfed Yoongi into a heartwarming hug with that.
“I won’t. I love her, I cannot let her go,” he whispered to himself as he returned the gesture.
He was lucky to have his best friends by his side.
He would fight for her, for them. For their love.
—------
It was strange to have only shared four video calls in the span of a whole week with the love of his life. But the crew and the members had an extremely busy week shooting for the music video. But he texted her every time he went to bed and as soon as he would up.
And their flow of texts had been surprisingly normal. He actually went to bed with a smile. He could not attend the session the previous week, but his time, Yoongi was more than ready to visit Dr Kang with Holly.
He wanted to rush home as soon as his flight landed back in Seoul, but the Dorm was closer and everyone was exhausted. So, instead, he went back to the Dorm along with the members. He had a surprise dinner date planned for the night. But he needed to be refreshed and awake for that.
—-----
“Hyung? Suga Hyung! Wake up, it’s six. The reservation is at seven-thirty.” Jungkook shook Yoongi awake.
Within moments, the sleepy haze was replaced by mild panic.
“Why didn’t you wake me up earlier?” Yoongi hissed as he rushed in and out of the bathroom, refreshing himself and choosing an apt outfit for the date
“We woke up an hour ago. Go get freshened up.”
Yoongi did not need to be told twice, he was already inside the bathroom by the time Jungkook was done speaking.
After quickly dressing himself up, skipping the tie because he was already running late, he drove towards his home, stopping by to buy a bouquet of roses. But the florist had run out of roses, so he offered to make a bouquet of pink carnations and white lilies. It was a lovely decoration and Yoongi could not wait to see Holly’s smile at the sight of the flowers.
When was the last time he had brought flowers for her again?
He did not remember.
Throughout the week away from Holly, away from home, he had come to realise many things, one of which was how little he had given attention and effort to the relationship that meant everything to him.
But he was going to make everything right. He had to.
He did to ring the doorbell, but instead put on the passcode- he wanted to surprise her. She would not expect him with a bouquet.
The familiar smell of home greeted him as soon as he entered the apartment.
“Holly, I’m home!"
His hold tightened on the bouquet as excitement surged through him
“Holly?”
There was no reply.
He marched into their shared bedroom.
“Holly are you—”
He stopped midway at the monochromatic and pristine setting of the bedroom.
It was strange…
The bathroom door was left ajar with no sign of anyone there. He checked still.
No one. Empty.
“Holly?” he called out aloud.
The apartment was clearly empty.
With the intention of calling her, he was about to keep the bouquet on the table when he noticed it.
The ring was placed neatly on the table and a voice recorder along with it.
It was like a sudden chill that had settled on his stomach. But he wanted to rationalise himself.
Maybe…Maybe she had just taken it off and forgotten.
With that thought, he rushed towards their shared closet. And to his utter dread, the sight of her missing clothes and luggage froze him.
He stood there, for one good minute, simply trying to fight back the devastation and breathlessness that followed.
She left.
She left him, just walked away from him, from his life, from his love.
He rushed back to the table where the voice recorder sat plainly. With shaking hands, he took it and switched it on, the bouquet sat on the ground, he did not even notice when he had dropped it.
“Yoongi, I love you. And I am saying this first because my actions do not match my words. But know this, I have always loved you and will love you still. By the time you receive this message, I would be sitting on my flight. I knew you were going to return today, Hoseok told me that you have a surprise for me so I should be ready for the evening.”
There was a slight pause and chuckle., but Yoongi was already out of the apartment, grabbing the car key as his hold tightened on the recorder.
He reached the car at record speed. The sky above him rumbled but his attention was on her voice.
“I am sorry. I am so sorry. I tried, I really tried. But that night, when you revealed what you really felt about our engagement, it was like…like a string that snapped within me. Like all the hopes, all the motivation, it flew off. I could see you putting up efforts, I could see that you cared…But it felt too late Yoongi.”
Her voice cracked in the end but he shook his head, wiping off his incessant tears as he pressed on the accelerator.
“I know marriage does not stand much significance to you, I know you felt like we could do better without it. And I know that you thought that you could not be a good husband or a good father. But I saw you, and still see you, as the perfect man Yoongi. You would have been an excellent husband and one of the best fathers in the world. To me, you were always perfectly imperfect. Maybe slightly rough around the edges, but a masterpiece nevertheless. I love how passionate you are about music, how dedicated you are to your profession, your band, your music, and what a beautiful person you are. Even if I failed to make you feel so, you made me happy, Yoongi. You gave me, the happiest four years of my life. I would never…I would never forge-t that. I want y-you to know that it was not an easy step for me to take. T-to say yes to my transfer to another country. And when…when they gave me the option to stay, o-or accept the relocation, all I could think was how I wished to say. I really did Yoongi…”
He could clearly hear the struggle against her own emotions in her voice. How she was fighting to not break down.
Yoongi’s vision was blurred with tears, but he did not stop driving.
“I wanted to stay, Yoongi. But I cannot do that- not anymore. We are not the same people we once were. And it is natural to grow. We simply could not grow together. Marriage might not mean a lot to you but to me…it means everything. And I’m sorry if I made you feel pressured to propose to me, I'm sorry if I made you feel suffocated. I’m sorry if I made you feel not worthy enough, I-I’m sorry if I could not be the lover you deserve. B-But I must let you know this, Yoongi, that I had always loved you. A-And even though we did not get the happy ending we once dreamt of, it’s okay, I got to know you, I could love you with…with all m-my heart and soul and I could feel your love…That is enough for me. We loved, we laughed…And we were happy once. And that is…Everything to me…And you were right, I am not the same person anymore. I do not even recognise myself now- I need to find myself Yoongi, not only for my sake but for the love we once shared...”
There was a queue till the gates of the international terminal. With no other option, he parked his car sideways, though he knew that he would be fined heavily for that, he could care less.
His grip tightened on the recorder still playing, despite the blinding drumming of the heavily pouring. But all he could focus on was rushing toward the terminal gate
“So remember this, Min Yoongi, Holly Wilson loved you with all her heart. And although it was the most difficult decision I had to take- and I know that you might hate me for this- this is the most difficult goodbye I had to say–a-and like a coward, I could not even say it in person, because I would not have been able to say it to you like that. I love you, I always w-will, and I hope you find someone who can truly make you happy…Goo—shit it’s so hard—okay…Goodbye Min Yoongi. Please forgive me if you can. I know you would be happier some day.”
The recording ended and he was close to the terminal. He gasped through the pouring rain as he increased his place, all his focus on the terminal gates. He felt like he was bouncing on his steps.
And one moment, he was so close to reaching the shade, crossing the road, and the next moment, a deafening horn was all he could hear and screeching of the tyres until he felt the weighted push, making him fall to the ground against his shoulder before his head hit the road. The pain sent his ears ringing and his nose blocking. The voice recorder fell from his grip. He could feel the thrumming of multiple footsteps, but things were fading so soon.
He wanted to scream that she was wrong. She made him the happiest man alive, he wanted to stop her, reach her, pull her in his arms and apologise for making her feel like she was not enough.
But everything crumbled before his eyes as his vision darkened and he was forced to close his eyes.
****
So, this was one hell of an angst ride. Hope you all liked it because the story is going to take a turn.
@oppa-agust-d @mintsugarmy @amoc94 @ratherbefangirling @yoongi-wife @silversparkles11
#yandere bts#bts yandere#yandere yoongi#yoongi yandere#yandere suga#yandere yoongi x oc#yandere idol yoongi#steel blue#shades of obsession#yandere idol bts#yandere idolverse#yandere angst
165 notes
·
View notes
Text
𝙄𝙍𝙄𝙎
𝙈𝙄𝙉 𝙄𝙍𝙄𝙎, 𝖺𝗄𝖺 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗈𝗇𝖾 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗈𝗇𝗅𝗒 𝖿𝖾𝗆𝖺𝗅𝖾 𝗆𝖾𝗆𝖻𝖾𝗋 𝗂𝗇 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝖻𝗂𝗀𝗀𝖾𝗌𝗍 𝖻𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝖻𝖾𝗍𝗍𝖾𝗋 𝗄𝗇𝗈𝗐𝗇 𝖺𝗌 𝙄𝙍𝙄𝙎. 𝗂𝗌 𝖺 𝖿𝗂𝖼𝗍𝗂𝗈𝗇𝖺𝗅 𝗂𝖽𝗈𝗅 (𝗌𝗂𝗇𝗀𝖾𝗋, 𝗋𝖺𝗉𝗉𝖾𝗋, 𝖽𝖺𝗇𝖼𝖾𝗋, 𝗌𝗈𝗇𝗀𝗐𝗋𝗂𝗍𝖾𝗋) 𝗎𝗇𝖽𝖾𝗋 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝖼𝗈𝗆𝗉𝖺𝗇𝗒 𝖻𝗂𝗀 𝗁𝗂𝗍 𝗆𝗎𝗌𝗂𝖼 𝗐𝗁𝖾𝗋𝖾 𝗌𝗁𝖾 𝗂𝗌 𝗂𝗇 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗀𝗋𝗈𝗎𝗉 𝖻𝗍𝗌 𝗐𝗂𝗍𝗁 𝗁𝖾𝗋 𝗆𝖾𝗆𝖻𝖾𝗋𝗌 𝗋𝗆, 𝗃𝗂𝗇, 𝗃𝗁𝗈𝗉𝖾, 𝗏, 𝗃𝗂𝗆𝗂𝗇, 𝗃𝗎𝗇𝗀𝗄𝗈𝗈𝗄 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗌𝗎𝗀𝖺.
☆𝗆𝖺𝗌𝗍𝖾𝗋𝗅𝗂𝗌𝗍 ☆𝖼𝗈𝗆𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗌𝗈𝗈𝗇 ☆𝗋𝖾𝗊𝗎𝖾𝗌𝗍
@bts-iris /nadine (nah-dean),19, capricorn, she/her
do not copy original work please.
minors do not interact 18+
#bts added member#bts x fem!reader#bts x oc#bts fic#park jimin#kim taehyung#min yoongi#kim namjoon#jeon jungkook#kim seokjin#jhope#bts x reader#bts x idol reader#idol au#idolverse#christian yu
22 notes
·
View notes
Note
My rankings is that Namjoon and Kaya definitely work out and so do Tae and Dilara. My heart says Nari and Seokjin are also a definite yes. And Sooah and Jimin probably too.
Trickier is the other three. I can see Hoseok coming around finally and admitting he likes Chaeyoung but their storyline spanning for decades because maybe she moves on and he has to watch her be with someone else before it's their time.
I love Jungkookah and Lia but I can also see theres being more complicated.
For me the biggest question mark is Yoongi and Miso but they also became my favorite couple that I root for the most since we got more of them recently. Just like how Tae and Dilara had a big problem to get through to emerge on the other side, I can see all the potential for big emotions and heartbreak and time that it would take to bring these two together, and those kinds of journeys feel the most earned, the kind you want to root for forever. Maybe thats why I feel Namjoon and Kaya, and Tae and DIlara and also Seokjin and Nari feel so certain to me.
Thanks for letting me think about it author ^.^~
I loveee this ♥️♥️♥️ Please feel free to think about it as much as you want, haha.
Super valid points, all of them. JKxLia and YoongixMiso are definitely unknowns now but I’m hoping that will become clearer soon. It’s so nice that you have faith in Yoongi and Miso though! I’m not a huge believer of having to put my characters through crap for the sake of it, but at the end of the day it’s a story 🤷🏻♀️ so some drama is expected. I get what you’re saying about relationships feeling earned though and that’s one of my favourite things about Tae and Dilara as well (and the others but that will come soon) :D
Thank you for this! Always love listening to readers’ musings - makes me feel a little less crazy for caring this much about fictional characters 🥰
#notes🍷#yoongi x miso#taehyung x dilara#namjoon x kaya#seokjin x nari#Jungkook x lia#hoseok x chaeyoung#jimin x Sooah#speculate idolverse
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
My first Jikook
Thanks @bangtanwritershq for the opportunity💜
View on Twitter
my latest creation. I really hope you enjoy, and share. ♡
#bts#jimin#jungkook#kpop#min yoongi#namjoon#jin#jhope#idolverse#strangers to lovers#bts fluff#angst with a happy ending
2 notes
·
View notes
Link
A Breeze Blows, and My Heart Swells
Chapters: 2/2
Words: 35k+
Rating: T
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Kim Taehyung | V/Min Yoongi | Suga
Genre and Tags: Alternate Universe - Idols, Alternate Universe - Non-Famous, Depression, Alternate Universe - Farm/Ranch, Slow Burn, Light Angst, Drinking, Explicit Language, Less Angsty Than it Sounds, Taehyung is NOT an idol, Jimin is NOT an idol
Former Idol Min Yoongi is struggling to write his next album. He knows he'll never live up to the success of his first solo outing, and the pressure is getting to him. After a series of minor scandals, his manager and best friend Jimin ships him off to Harmony Retreat, an ecotourism resort deep in the Daegu countryside. With electronics strictly forbidden and no company but a rooster, a dog, and his eccentric host Kim Taehyung, Yoongi's not sure how he's going to get through this -- let alone write a hit song.
This is the bestttt! Fluffy with just enough angst that makes the relationship relatable but doesn’t keep you up at night crying. Pretty slow burn and if you are looking for smut, this ain’t it. But if you are someone who thinks kissing can be sexier than porn, with the right chemistry, this one is pretty good at that. *sigh* I wish this had a second part.
#bts long fics#bts fics#bts suga#bts yoongi#min yoongi#agust d#min suga#suga#bts v#bts taehyung#kim taehyung#idolverse#idol#farm#farmboy v#light angst#angst#bts fic rec#idolsuga#idolyoongi#kimtaehyung#minyoongi
0 notes
Text
me: *has 263837 unfinished projects that i’ve started impulsively and desperately need to finish*
also me: okay but what if i start Yet Another Thing
#aka i found an old bts socmed au that i’d started#and am extremely tempted to try revamping and posting it lmao#if anyone is interested let me know lmao#it would be reader x yoongi#and technically idolverse but they meet playing pgo#savv speaks#misc savv things
1 note
·
View note
Text
isn't this more beautiful | knj x f!reader
summary: you meet namjoon by accident. you fall for him without noticing. he slips in and out of your life at will, and you let him. but as you get closer, you start to wonder if he’ll always feel lonely, even with you by his side. or, a small story told out of order about time, loneliness, and knowing (or not) what we deserve
pairing: namjoon x f!reader
rating: explicit (18+ please)
genre: smut, angst, a lil fluff/hopeful ending
au: this is idolverse
warnings/tags: this is told asynchronously, so please know these little vignettes are not in chronological order. namjoon is a mess, but so is reader. she's an artist so there's one cliche on board already. they probably should talk more about important things but neither of them like feelings. smoking, drinking, smut, including unprotected sex, oral sex, exhibitionism, maybe like… mention of belly bulge kink, cumplay (kind of)
word count: ~6700
a/n: this is for the bts x beatles across the btuniverse collab hosted by my dearest @ugh-yoongi who also checked this for vibes. so did @the-boy-meets-evil in its early stages - thank you both!! banner + borders from @hobeemin (thank you so much!!!!). my member was namjoon (obv) and my song was eleanor rigby. idk how it really shows up in here except through vibes lol
you can find everything i write on ao3
Namjoon talks in unanswerable questions. He calls you at hours the owls don’t even see, talks quietly even though you’re not sure who he’s afraid of disturbing.
“Do you remember Bageundae?”
“Of course I do.”
“If you pressed your body against one side of the rock, and I pressed mine to the other, could you feel me?”
What you want to say: go to sleep, Namjoonie.
What you say instead: “I can always feel you.”
“Always is a funny word,” he replies. “Maybe worse than never.”
“Maybe?”
“You never know,” he says, and you can hear the sad smile he wears even from your desk across the ocean.
Sometimes, when people give the retelling of how they meet their “person,” it’s all sparks and fireworks and floods and worlds being turned upside down.
That’s not how you met Namjoon.
You met him softly.
You met him in a lazy river current and not a waterfall.
You met him like Sunday morning sunshine sneaking through cracks in defeated curtains.
You met him and the woodwind orchestra blew a quiet processional before the brass joined in much later.
You met him with a whisper. Literally.
“This is one of my favorites,” he said, a stranger whispering beside you. He wasn’t even talking to you—you remember being pretty sure about that. Just announcing it as an affirmation to himself and you happened to be there to be the unintentional recipient.
Now, you know it’s probably a foreshadowing of your whole relationship.
Then, you said, “It’s a misconception that you have to whisper in a museum. It’s not a library.”
Namjoon didn’t even give you the sitcom satisfaction of arguing with you about it. Just gave you an affronted side eye and huffed under his breath. Crossed his arms over his chest and planted himself further into the floor, staring at the Chung Sang Hwa in front of you.
To yourself, you rolled your eyes. It was almost like he was determined to outwait you, that there would be some satisfaction in it for him if you left for the next work on the wall before he did.
He didn’t know (yet) that you were as or more stubborn than he was. So, you both waited. You didn’t even know what you were waiting for, just that neither of you wanted to lose.
(And now look at you.)
It was near closing time on a weekday, and all of the special exhibits were crowded earlier, but the permanent collections were easy to be alone in. You were almost wishing someone else would walk in. Minutes passed, neither of you moved. In your periphery, you saw Namjoon stealing glances at you when he (presumably) thought you wouldn’t notice.
Finally, “This isn’t going to be some naver post later, is it?”
You were annoyed, not blind. You knew exactly who he was (or did you, you wonder now)—everyone in this country knew, his picture plastered over billboards and bus stops.
“Which story? BTS RM, weirdly stubborn art jerk, won’t walk away from painting first? Or, BTS RM casually checked me out at a gallery when he thought I wasn’t looking?” You didn’t look over at him, just raised your eyebrow in a challenge.
“Don’t flatter yourself.”
“So, you prefer the ‘jerk’ narrative?”
“I prefer to be left alone.”
And you still don’t know why you said what you said after that, as you turned to face him for the first time since he walked up next to you. “You probably don’t get that very often. Alone time.”
Namjoon looked back at you then, and it still wasn’t butterflies or choruses of angels. Instead, he just looked surprised and a little sad. “I don’t.”
“I’m sorry,” you replied. And you found that you meant it.
“Do you ever wonder,” Namjoon said, and again, you didn’t know if it was to you or to himself, “how it is you can be surrounded by people and still feel profoundly lonely?”
You hadn’t. But you still thought you understood what he meant. “No, but it makes sense that you would.”
Namjoon laughed then, maybe a little bitter, maybe just nervous. “I shouldn’t be talking to you about this,” he said.
“And yet…”
“And yet,” he agreed with a small nod.
The two of you were quiet again then, but not in a stand-off anymore. Behind you, you knew his manager was fidgeting, worrying that something was off. That you’d reveal yourself to be some sort of wild stalker or obsessed fan.
“It’s not personal,” Namjoon offered, like he could already read your mind.
“I know,” you conceded.
You started to walk away, ready to see a different painting, ready to not feel like you were doing something wrong by incidentally being in the same room as someone famous, when Namjoon stopped you. “He wanted to paint heartbeats, to give them a language, to let people see what all the emotions that fuel our hearts would look like,” he said. “Do you think it worked?”
Next to this person that you didn’t know but somehow you thought you might understand anyway, you nodded.
Next to Namjoon in a room so quiet you were sure you could hear the steady thrum of your heartbeat (or his, or both beating at the same time), you nodded.
Next to him, who you didn’t yet know would become Him, you nodded.
“Yeah,” you said gracelessly.
“Can you see it?” Namjoon asked.
“Which one?” you countered.
He shrugged, not breaking eye contact. “Aren’t love and hate and pain and pleasure all the same at the end of the day?”
Eventually, he will teach you that they are.
It starts with phone calls.
(Sometimes it seems it might end with one, too.)
Namjoon speaks like the shallow pools of blended color on a painter’s well-loved palate. There is no certainty. He uses gray words like “sometimes,” and purple ones like “maybe,” and the soft peach “don’t you think?”
“Morning, Namjoon-ssi,” you hum into the air, hoping you’re close enough to the microphone that you don’t have to shout.
“What if we were in Florence?” he asks in return.
“Then I would still be asleep, or you would be getting smothered with a pillow for waking me up.”
He laughs, not the bright one you know he saves for when there’s an audience, but a small one that bubbles up from his chest with a deep timbre. “So, in Florence, you and I are in bed together?”
You sigh into your (not Italian) pillow.
“Good morning,” he adds. “Can we speak informally?”
Your sigh turns into a smile you hadn’t asked for. “Yeah.”
“Good.”
You’ve been speaking for weeks. Namjoon is busy, you are not (at least, not in the same way, not to the same magnitude). You make a space for him in your life with much less consideration than you usually use with others. Or, maybe he just takes it.
“What are your plans for the weekend?” he asks.
“Same thing as all the other weekends.”
“Can I watch this time?”
“It’s boring.”
Namjoon pauses. “Does it bore you?”
“No, it’s what I love.”
“Then,” he says, in what you think is probably his typical fashion (at least with you, it is), “I think I might find it easy to love, too.”
“Oh, Namjoonie,” you tease, “I’m starting to think you find everything easy to love.”
He doesn’t say anything for a long time. This is a thing you’ve noticed about him. He’s serious in a flash. He’s jokes and teasing and talking to you about what ifs and what nots until suddenly he is very determined that he should say something meaningful. Or very convinced that you have.
“I want to,” he says. “I want my heart to be more full than my mind. It’s hard.”
“I know,” you say, even though for you, it’s not.
“I’m glad you don’t,” he says earnestly.
“Come see me on Saturday,” you say, deflecting. You can do this for him, you think. You haven’t seen him since the museum, but you’ve seen the pastel splashes of his words, the geometric lines of his heart, the post-modern dilemma he thinks he carries down deep. You’ve seen the important things, so you know you can give him the distraction he doesn’t know he needs.
“I think I will.”
You hang up in black and white.
Namjoon fucks like a surrealist. Shifts your body until you’re still recognizable in the mirror, but fundamentally different, too.
Pulls your hips up too high: Ernst.
Makes butterflies soar out of your mouth, gusty with your labored breath: Magritte.
Fucks you cross-eyed, spit dripping hourglass slow from your lips: Dali.
You thought he would be a talker, like he is on the phone. Thought he’d try and work through the freightliner of thoughts steaming through his brain. But Namjoon is all breath and whispers and sighs and moans and fragments of the pretty words he used to get you like this: bent over your worktable, chest smeared into cadmium red and titanium white. He talks, but it's oil paint instead of watercolor this time: thick and precise.
“Fuck, you look perfect like this,” he says, voice a little dreamy, slapping another pink-paint handprint onto your ass. You’re never going to get it scrubbed off your skin.
It makes you laugh, breathy and high.
You came first (and second) on his tongue. Told you to keep painting while he got underneath you, pretty on his knees, honest and plain telling you he wanted you.
“Want to see what art tastes like,” he said, cotton soft breath on your thigh.
“Silly,” you replied. “Does anyone fall for lines like that?”
“Doesn’t matter, don’t want you to fall. I told you to keep standing.” He’s smug when he licks across your core, startling you.
It went like that until your hand was shaking and the thick outlines around nameless figures on the canvas shook with you.
“Pretty painter, taste as good as you look,” he paused to say. You moaned when he fucked his tongue into you, clenched around it, wanted to be greedy, wanted more, wanted everything. “Sound even better,” he added, chin slick, eyes sparkling.
After you came, he didn’t stop. When your paintbrush fell to the ground, he doubled his efforts, two fingers sliding inside of you while he sucked your sensitive clit between his lips. “Come on, baby,” he said, “I know you have another one for me.”
Your hand gripped his hair instead of your brush, you chased the overstimulation instead of wriggling away. It felt right, somehow, to just take what you want, and Namjoon didn’t seem to mind. Moaned into your cunt when you fucked his face, holding him in place while your hips moved. A muffled, “fuck, please baby,” into your skin when you pulled his hair just to see what it would feel like. Lips curved into a grin when you rocked against him through your second orgasm.
And now, he reaps the benefits of his efforts. You’re pliant beneath him, fucked out and pleased, easy and eager as he slides his thick cock in and out. You watch him carefully in the mirror, you see his focus on where he thrusts inside of you, his awe when you clench around him and pull him just a little farther in. You see him grin when he slaps you, telling you he knows you’re watching, asking if you want more. “A greedy little thing,” he breathes. “Think you want more? Think you want me to fuck you harder, want my cock in you so deep you can feel it in your stomach?”
You feel stupid with it, nodding in agreement, mouth open and drooling onto your worktable while he fucks you to a third orgasm.
“You fuck me so good. Such a big dick, gonna feel you all week, Namjoonah.”
“You should paint this,” he says, slowing his thrusts. “No one’s ever looked as good as you do taking my cock.”
“No one?” you ask, suddenly a little desperate for the praise.
Namjoon bends to kiss the back of your neck, lets his lips mark a pathway down your spine that his fingertips follow. He’s so deep inside of you, hips grinding slow against your skin. When he reaches your waist, he grips and pulls you into him even closer.
The space between you (barely there to begin with) bends to his will: Carrington.
“Nobody, baby,” he whispers his first certainty to you, fingertips teasing between your thighs now, careful where you’re still too sensitive, but wordlessly asking you to give in, to give more.
“I’ll give you anything,” you say in response to a question you don’t think he’ll ask as he starts to circle your clit, pulls almost all the way out of you and fucks back in harder than before.
“You’ll take even more,” he says, and he comes inside of you, hips stuttering unsure, a bassline under the clear melody of his words.
Lazy, you lie face up together on discarded canvas, forgotten starting points of ideas you hadn’t intended to complete. Unabashed, you have a knee up so your thighs don’t tack together with the mess you’ve made. Namjoon talks about nothing, blows smoke in halos above your heads and offers you the cigarette careful between his long fingers. You don’t smoke, but you hold it anyway, watching him, carding the fingers of your free hand through his hair as he stares at his cum leaking out of you, catches it on the tender part of your thigh and wipes swirls and squares onto the canvas around you.
He finishes the thoughts you began before you even knew him.
“Tell me a story,” you whisper roughly into the air, hoping he can hear you through your shitty phone microphone.
It’s early, that sacred pre-dawn you save for yourself (and now, somehow, for him) and you’ve woken up from a shitty sleep and a worse dream and couldn’t stop yourself from calling him back when you saw you’d already missed a call from him.
“It’s late, baby.”
You let out a puff of breath, Namjoon laughs almost silently at you.
“Please?”
“You don’t like books,” he says, almost a tease. It’s true. You like them conceptually, but you told him you don’t feel like you have the patience sometimes. That you want to give them energy you don’t have.
“But I like stories.”
“FIne.” Even his sigh is fond. You like him like this so much—easy, willing, teasing but still giving in eventually.
You fall asleep fast, the first words you hear are the last. “Once upon a time…”
When you wake up, you have messages from him. A whole lot of them, a whole story written out in your Katalk chat. A love story, sort of, one where they’re star-crossed and destined but always just a little too far apart. It ends with a “maybe” instead of a “happily ever after.” You don’t even let yourself think about that too much—it’s perfectly him—a little drama for the sake of it, a little sadness to make the joy feel better.
Your world is tiny. A firefly in a sky full of bold, bright stars. It is you, in your studio, alone. It is you with your friends, it is you getting a cat so you have someone to talk to when your friends aren’t around.
For Namjoon, it expands. A firefly to a star to a burning red giant.
Still, it feels small when you’re inside of it. It’s you with your friends, it’s you with Namjoon in your studio, it’s Namjoon gently stroking your cat’s fur while he talks to himself and you paint.
It’s difficult to describe, but when you’re with him, you either have his full attention to the extent it’s overwhelming, or he seemingly pays no attention to you or what you’re doing. Just works on whatever he’s working on while you paint, speaking to you because he knows you won’t answer.
On one of the nights when you’re together (but not at all), you finally ask. He’d let himself in around two in the morning and kissed the top of your head before he put headphones in and stuck his face into his notebook on the other side of the room. He likes to sit by the window so he can crack it open and blow his smoke out of it instead of into the room.
“Why’d you come tonight?”
“I wanted to be near you.”
“I don’t think you’ve even looked at me.” It’s not an accusation, just an observation. You like that Namjoon will know the difference, you like that he’s hard to offend, and doesn't mind when you speak plainly. Gives you plain answers in return (usually). You stick the small paint brush you’ve been using sideways in your mouth and grab a larger one.
“Baby, you’re all I can see lately,” he says, staring at the trails of smoke curling around the outside of the window pane.
You laugh around the red-tipped paint brush you’re biting down on, a pause for the cadmium to add a little white to the edges. Namjoon looks over then, snaps a picture of you with your eyes crinkled and your head thrown back, red oil threatening to drip like blood.
“Beautiful,” he says, looking at the picture before he goes back to writing.
There are more phone calls every time he travels for work. It’s the same routine. He texts you a photo of something he’s seen that he liked, and when you respond, whether it’s five minutes later or five hours, he asks if he can call you.
Sometimes they’re quiet, simple recountings of the things that have happened in his day or are about to happen in the next (timezone dependent), sometimes they’re ranting about the industry and the pressure and how he never thought about time until he realized he was running out of it. Sometimes he’s worked up in a different way, wants to see your face in pixelated halos while he comes on his own stomach, alone in a hotel room far away.
All of this, you let him take. It’s not completely sacrificial, by any means. You like to hear him talk, better than any podcast you’ve ever heard. You like to know what he sees—he’s touched parts of the globe you could only dream about seeing. You like that he never makes it complicated.
Never promises to take you there one day, never says he wishes you were with him.
You’ve been fucking in secret for a while when Namjoon wants you to meet his friends.
“Why?” you ask.
“Because I want you to see me, too,” he says. Simple and complicated at the same time. You’re afraid to ask why again, not sure if you want to know the answer. This is sex. It’s incredible sex that happens far more often than you thought he’d be able to make time for.
He shows up at your studio at odd hours of the morning (or is it still night?) and talks to you about all the frivolous things while you take each other apart. Rambles about Murakami while he fucks you, tells you about a Youngkuk he saw while you swallow his dick. Naked and sprawled amongst your paint and mess and half-done work leaning against the walls, he tells you a little about his work, too. Asks you about a painting he’d seen you working on—diligently adding splashes of blue, tells you about a song he wants to do the same thing to somehow. Asks you uselessly if color and sound are the same thing if you think about them too hard.
They are. It’s a thing you both know that you don’t think many others do. It’s one thing he’s sure about. You think he only likes you because you’re sure about it, too.
It’s incredible sex and pretty good conversations that happen at what most people probably think are strange times, but it’s not more than that. You can’t afford to get your heart confused, and he can’t afford to give you anything other than exactly what he’s giving.
(He can’t afford to give you what he does, but he tells you there’s no reward without risk.
“Am I the reward, then?” you tease.
Namjoon never answers you.)
But you don’t tell him no. You think this is a bargain you can make with your heart, you can ask it for temperance while you do this thing he wants, you can meet the people who are truly important to him without convincing yourself you’re counted amongst them. You can try, anyway.
So, on a rooftop in Hannam-dong, you sip whisky with a photographer friend of Namjoon’s while he stands behind you, an arm wrapped around your waist, and alternates between sucking bruises into your neck and smoke into his lungs.
“How’d you meet?” the photographer asks.
“Hoam,” Namjoon replies into your skin. “She picked a fight.”
You laugh, he laughs, the photographer laughs. It’s carefree and light—your laugh, your thoughts, your skin under Namjoon’s wandering lips. Your heart is holding up its end of the deal, you don’t feel anything but pleased to be there, pleased to have his attention again (still).
“Our Namjoonie likes a challenge,” his friend says.
“Our Namjoonie is a challenge,” you tease.
Namjoon nips at the thin skin between your neck and shoulder in retaliation (or to prove your point, you’re not sure). You yelp, turn in his arms, see him smirking before he goes to take another drag. Swiftly, you pluck the cigarette out from between his lips, stamping it out on the cement.
“Baby,” he whines, looking down where the cigarette is brown and white dust under your sneaker.
“Better things to do with your mouth,” you retort, pressing up onto your tiptoes and pulling his bottom lip between your teeth.
His mouth is ashy and yours tastes like peet, you’re sure. It’s filthy and a little cheap even though the cigarettes and the whisky and the lip balm he always wears were all expensive. Namjoon kisses like he does everything else: completely single-minded, treating the soft curves where your mouths meet as if they’re the edges of the world.
You walk him a step back until he’s flush against the wall and lean into him again, pressing your bodies together hard and your lips together plush. He’s hard in his joggers and it’s every last piece of self-control you have to not sneak your hand under his waistband and tease him until he’s leaking and begging to get inside you.
It wouldn’t take much.
Takes a lot out of you to not drop to your knees and choke on his cock where everyone can see, where everyone would know for sure for sure for certain that he’s chosen you for this for now for some reason. To not make him moan around your name while he comes down your throat, a different kind of concert.
Your hands stay in appropriate places while your lips beg for more.
He was right, something he said the first time you hooked up: you are greedy for him. But he’s just as bad for you, begging in your ear for you to let him take you home, for you to let him fuck you right here so everyone knows you’re his (right now, in only this way, for some reason that neither of you are willing to speak into existence).
You give in, no cares about who sees, it’s safe here with friends who would never betray him. You feel ever weightless against his body, whispering, “Yes, come on Joonie,” you say. “Need your cock. Need you.”
(Briefly, it occurs to you that those sentences mean two completely different things, that they’re both true, and that either it’s Namjoon choosing to ignore the odd, heavy weight of the second one or you both are.)
You’re halfway out the door before you remember you were in the middle of a conversation.
You don’t notice his friends whispering.
You don’t notice his manager rolling his eyes.
You don’t notice the way Namjoon looks at you when he knows you’re not looking back.
And you surely don’t let yourself notice that both of you want more than you’re willing to give in return.
“Can you come over?” he asks, but it doesn’t quite come out like a question.
“I’m working, maybe a different time?”
It’s abundantly clear he hadn’t expected you to say no. He’s silent on the other end of the line for a moment before he lets out an aborted sigh.
“You can work whenever you want.”
Before you realize he’s serious, you laugh. “Yeah, and now is when I want to. You know how it is to get inspired.”
Namjoon huffs. “I’d still make time for you.”
It’s almost more absurd than the sentence before it. First, you know from firsthand experience that he wouldn’t, not really. Your “relationship”—or whatever you’re (not) calling it—revolves almost entirely around his schedule. And that’s fine with you, usually. It was expected, anyway. You don’t exactly drop everything to see him, but you haven’t been the best at keeping plans with the other people in your life, either. You don’t blame him for it, it’s just how things are, and it’s your own fault (at least partially) for bailing on your friends to “chase dick” as they so delicately put it. The second point is that you wouldn’t ask him to. If you don’t ask him to change for you, if you don’t need him to bend, then you never have to stop to ask yourself what the two of you are even doing.
As the static of the connection is drawn out like a fermata with neither of you willing to break it, you wonder if this is your panoply, the armor you don, one of the ways you’ve been protecting your own heart without realizing it.
“I wouldn’t ask you to,” you say, repeating it to yourself, admitting it to him.
“I know,” Namjoon agrees, but he sounds disappointed instead of conciliatory.
“I have to go.”
“Sure,” he says quietly before he ends the call. “Let me know when you have time.”
Namjoon is obsessed with time.
How much is left.
How much has passed.
How much until the next thing.
How much he’s wasted.
You think this is because he puts a deadline to his regret, says things like, “It’s been a year, I can’t worry about it anymore.”
It’s hard not to wonder what schedule he’s given whatever this thing is between you. Are you still regrettable? Is there a space between regrettable and forgettable you can build shelter in?
It makes him fill his time. He’s always doing something, likes to feel productive. Holds himself to an unspoken standard that you’re not even sure he could articulate if he needed to. He gets antsy when he has to relax, twitches and fidgets and fills the space with words.
Sometimes, after sex when you’re quiet and lax and content to just sit with him, he uses the time to write. He sits tall up in your bed and holds his notebook above your head where it rests in his lap. He says you help him organize his thoughts, says having you to bounce things off of gives him clarity, says you think of words like colors like he does and you know how he likes to paint. Says he gets his best work done in this time in between pleasure and sleep.
He hums to himself while he writes—you don’t even know if he knows he does it. Sometimes, it wakes you up from where you didn’t know you’d fallen asleep on top of him.
“Is it morning yet?” you slur, still mostly asleep.
“Relax, baby,” he whispers when you stir. “We’ve got time.”
You don’t break up, because there’s nothing tangible to break. It’s a quiet thing, without dramatics, but oh how you grieve.
It’s not linear. You’re not in a predictable pattern of feeling. One morning he doesn’t call, and you don’t even notice, but another makes you sob quietly in the corner of your studio, curled up under the window where he used to sit, like you can fuse yourself with the ghost of him.
There are days when it’s easier, days when it’s difficult. When you mourn the way the curve of his bicep felt under your fingertips or the future you never considered until it wasn’t an option anymore.
(You still don’t know if it ever was an option, but that’s the tricky thing—you can grieve for the things you had and also for those you didn’t. No one can stop you, Namjoon’s not there to pull you back to reality. He was never very good at that anyway.)
Some days, you wonder if he grieves, too. It would be easy to read interviews and read into things, it would be easy to assume every word, look, gesture is a window into his mind, but you try not to do that to yourself, try not to do it to him.
At four in the morning on a Saturday, when days without him have long turned into weeks, you mindlessly scroll through your phone, idly wondering what he might be doing at this time when he used to be with you.
“The quiet hours are all for us,” he would whisper into your skin, no distractions, no demands.
Those hours are infinitely louder in your mind without him there. So, you distract yourself, you look at every app and you get lost in reels and tiktoks and tweets and then you go back to instagram to see his story is updated. And you think twice before you do it, but you still click on it, curious and heartbroken and a little bit hoping he’s not already found someone new to spend daybreak with.
It’s just a song, an old one, a sad one. Text he added in small font across the bottom:
“Grief is love persevering,” he says.
In your corner, under the window, you cry over the silly quote for the both of you.
“Do you know about alpine sunflowers?”
You laugh as you put your phone on speaker and set it down next to you. You’re not laughing at him, and he knows it—you’re full of a particular fondness you only feel for him, one you especially feel when he’s thousands of miles away, busier than busy and running on no sleep, but still calling you to bullshit.
“No, tell me about them.”
“Okay,” he says, voice pitched up, a little excited, like he’s sitting up straighter and getting ready to tell you something wonderful. “So, they only grow high up in the alpine tundra. The Swiss Alps, the Rockies, you know what I mean?”
“What about the French Alps?” you tease.
Namjoon huffs. “There too, jagiya, but you’re missing the point.”
“Okay, make me see it, then.”
“I will if you’ll stop teasing.”
You do stop, not because he’s making an impeccable argument, but because he’s always going somewhere with things like this, and without realizing it, you’ve stumbled into a reality where you’d follow him anywhere.
“They grow slowly. ‘Cause of the snow and the subzero temperatures and the fact that there’s just not much up there for them. They take their time, you see?”
You’re starting to, your paintbrush dipping into a dusty yellow to test in a small corner of your canvas. You nod, forgetting he’s not there in the room with you, that you should speak if you actually want to answer him. He doesn’t care if you do or not, you know, not until he gets to the punchline, and sometimes not even then.
On the other end of the line, you hear him suck in a breath before he continues. “They save up everything: the sunlight and the water and they hoard it all. They're selfish little things, baby. Just these spindly stalks of nothing sucking up everything good out of the Earth.”
“Hmm,” you murmur so he knows you’re with him.
“But then, and this is the best part, then one day, after ten fucking years if you can believe that—after ten years do you know what happens?”
“Climate change?”
Namjoon ignores you now in favor of finishing his story. It’s fair enough, you suppose. “They bloom. Big and beautiful, brighter than all the other sunflowers like an explosion of little suns across the mountains.”
“That sounds beautiful,” you reply.
And you know what Namjoon is thinking. That their beauty comes at a cost, that he hasn’t quite untangled yet whether he loves those stupid flowers for taking what they need and becoming something incredible or if he despises them for waiting so long to do it, for keeping something so lovely to themselves. It’s not what he says, though. As you paint something that might be tangling green vines of selfish sunflowers across gesso, he surprises you.
“I wonder if in all relationships, someone is the sunflower and someone is the mountain.”
You can’t help but pause, because he might be right. One of you might take something from the other to become more beautiful, one of you might give up everything to be made more whole by the other, if even for a moment.
“Maybe they are,” you agree.
“You know what happens after the alpine sunflower blooms?” he asks, voice softer now, more tired as night turns into morning where he is.
“What happens, Joon-ah?”
Namjoon sighs into the phone, the mood has changed since he called you—and this isn’t unusual. He can be ebullient and he’s gorgeous when he’s happy and carefree, but it changes quickly sometimes depending on the circumstances, depending on how much he’s let himself think, how much time he’s spent alone.
“They die. They do all of that and they work hard for so long, and then they’re gone.”
Carefully, you ask, “You want to be the mountain, then?”
In the background, you can hear the rustle of sheets and the careful clacking of his glasses hitting the bedside table. He yawns, and you can picture the way he’s rubbing his palms over his face, pulling his shirt off before he dives all the way under the duvet, probably taking advantage of being alone to take up all the space he possibly can in the big hotel bed. He sounds half-asleep and sad when he finally answers you.
“No, I don’t think so.”
“Why not?” You put your brush down, stare at the small mess you’ve made.
“The mountain has it worse, she can only watch them go.”
He is everywhere, even when he’s not.
There are the obvious things: the ads with his face, the gum and coffee and candy with his picture on them, the music, his lyrics, playing in cafes and bars and pages and pages of his songs in every noraebang.
There are the private things, too. The reminders that are just for you.
You see him in the way the leaves change: reliable but not predictable.
You smell him after it rains, when you pass by cafes and smoking rooms and when you take the train to Yeosu just to remember the way the saltwater can make the air sting. You hear him every time you hear the train sail into the station at Yongsan and when you hear the river gently shove against its banks.
It’s a couple months after you meet him, and along that river, you walk a less-loved path. With all the words you know, you explain all that to a friend, one you’ve known a long time, who doesn’t know who you’re talking about as you try to describe the person who’s taken up all of your time and attention lately.
Because you can’t tell her anything about him, you tell her these things instead and you hope it’s enough for her to understand.
And maybe she does, maybe better than you do.
“Does that make sense?” you ask. “It’s hard to explain how much he is.”
“To you,” she says. “He’s that much to you.”
You hadn’t even considered that he wasn’t all of those things to everyone. It never even crossed your mind. It’s probably apparent that you’re mulling it over, trying to true it up with how you feel.
She shrugs with one shoulder and smiles, brings a finger up to smooth the wrinkle in your brow. “Don’t think about it too hard, yeah? Love is supposed to be simple.”
Those two words had always each seemed so big to you, to carry so much power on their own. It’s the first time you let yourself consider putting the words Namjoon and Love in the same sentence.
And in that moment, you know that if Namjoon is the changing leaf, you are the one that falls.
“Do you love me?” you ask—afraid to know the answer, more afraid of never knowing. You stare at unfinished bunches of sunflowers and handprints of pink and white borders that never got filled in. All of it undone, all of it paused. Abstracts in stop-motion waiting for… him to come back? You to get your shit together? Inspiration? What’s the difference, anyway, you think while you wait for him to speak.
He doesn’t answer right away, hums a little, clicks his tongue, things you can sense more than you can hear. It’s a rude way to start a phone call, especially when you haven’t spoken in a long time, especially when you’re not each other's to love.
Not anymore.
Not that you know if you ever were.
You need to know, you think. Questioning whether all of it even mattered is making you worse off than thinking it didn’t. Listening to him tell foreign interviewers he’s had a rough year, lost something great, was finding it hard to trust—himself, others—you, your brain supplies… it’s making you feel a little wild, a little reckless.
One drink past good decisions, you call, and when he answers unexpectedly, you forgo “hello” for “do you love me?”
You wait, expecting exasperation, complication, maybe a long and drawn out description of how maybe people can never know if they’re in love, if they have the capacity to love completely.
And then he surprises you.
“Of course I do,” he says, sounding soft and a little scared and more definitive than you’ve ever heard him. “You know that.”
“I didn’t,” you reply. Not to be argumentative, but because it’s true. Because you love him and you want him to be happy and you know he’ll never get it right if he thinks what he gave you was enough.
“I don’t think I knew then, either,” he concedes. “But I wish I had. I do now.”
“I miss you.”
“I know. But you did then, too.”
The laugh you let out is wry and wet with your tears, the ones you’re shedding for the you that did miss him even then, even when he was by your side, even when he was buried inside of you. “I’m lonely,” is what you say, too honest.
“I know. I am, too.”
There’s nothing to say to that, you think. Maybe this is where it really ends, a torn-open wound for both of you—you’ll paint it all in vivid acrylics, probably never finish it just to be ironic. And then Namjoon adds, “Can I come over?”
You reply quickly, a taste of his own medicine. “Maybe,” you say.
You should have never left, you mean.
He laughs then, watercolor yellow and orange joy dripping over the phone line. It’s bright and hopeful—you listen to him shrugging on a jacket and swearing out a curse when he runs into his dresser, rushing to get to you, scrambling for time—and it makes you decide that for once, with him by your side, you might finish the picture.
#bts x reader#namjoon x reader#rm x reader#namjoon smut#namjoon angst#namjoon fluff#rm smut#rm fluff#rm angst#bts imagines#namjoon imagine#rm imagine#kvanity#bts smut#bts angst#bts fanfic#namjoon fanfic#rm fanfic
319 notes
·
View notes
Text
Chaeri as the 8th and youngest member of BTS.
Silver lips
❒ pairing: Jungkook x 8thmember!OC
❒ genre: Spicy allusion; not actually spicy
❒ words: 1.3k
❒ summary: In which Chaeri has an incredible urge to be the first to kiss her ex-boyfriend who has just had his lip pierced
❒ notes: Bold and Italic at the same time indicates a sentence said in English. | Read part two here -> Silver lips pt2
❒ warnings: minor references of dom!jungkook / jealous!jungkook
CHAERI'S MASTERLIST
Takes place during the events of the American Music Awards 2021
Two years.
Two years since she had performed for the last time in front of a crowd of fans.
Two years since Jungkook and her stopped being a couple.
Two of the most important things in her life ripped away from her at close quarters. And everything had come to a standstill, her existence stuck at a point where the only emotions rising were loneliness and anger.
At that moment, however, sprawled out on the couch in their dressing room and still full of energy after having spent one of the best nights in years, it seemed to her that the world was slowly putting the pieces back in their place, making sense again and giving her gratification. She felt alive.
"I'm beggin', beggin' you"
There were songs from that night that definitely had stuck in her head
"I'm on my knees when I'm beggin' 'cause I don't want to lose you"
A dark head turned to her side. They were left alone in that room. Was that also a sign from the universe? Could it really be that it - the universe - was being gentle with her that night, after kicking her ass for those years before?
Well, surely that Armand de Brignac she was sipping lightened her thoughts enough not to ask herself too many questions, neither to hide her obvious desire to keep her eyes glued on him.
He had become so 'manly' in a brief time. She would notice whenever she was beside him looking at his sharp jawline, his no longer teenage gaze, the countless tattoos on his body and that damn lip piercing.
God. That's what it made him look like. The god of sins and impure thoughts.
Actually, the only one with impure thoughts at this point was none other than her.
She poured additional alcohol into her glass. A whole bottle of champagne and she had almost finished it. She was an adult and they were in America, was there anyone who could stop her?
She leaned forward, letting the dress she had used for Butter's performance slip down her thighs, covering the skin that until a second ago was clearly showing.
"I didn't get the chance to ask you" She swirled the liquid in the goblet "And I'm pretty curious. How does it feel to kiss with that?" Her eyes dropped to his lips.
She had a damn mouth that she couldn't keep under control, yet she always claimed it as her best feature.
Jungkook's gaze first moved from her eyes until it slid down her entire body, as if pondering his reply in the process.
"I haven't had a chance to try yet.”
Oh, that was just what Chaeri wanted to hear him say.
With the excitement of the performance still in her veins, mixed with everything she had been drinking, nothing seemed wrong at that moment.
Not as if it was the first time this had ever happened. During those years they'd been having occasions in which they'd fallen into old habits but... nothing could ever go back to the way it was before. But for that night it seemed fine. For that night she just wanted to live without thinking about the morning after, when they would go back to being nice and polite towards each other and nothing more.
"Well, don't you think I deserve to be the first to try it out?"
Chaeri got up from the sofa, her feet relieved of their uncomfortable shoes tens of minutes earlier. The parquet under her toes was frozen but she felt warm all over.
She could tell from his eyes that he was far from relaxed too but, as always, he let her make the first move.
So innocent yet so manipulative.
Did he think she was unaware of what he was doing?
The way he had been teasing her from afar since he had added that jewel to his lips did not go unnoticed. Playing with it with his teeth and tongue every damn minute of the day made her life not easy.
She saw his lips curve into a cocky grin, not at all surprised by the offer received.
What happened to that adorable boy, too shy even to smile at her, she met long time ago?
"Do you think I'm your toyboy?"
"Do you think I don't see how you like being my toyboy?"
He caught his lips between his teeth, containing a laugh.
Patience was never one of the girl's traits, let alone when drunk, let alone with Jungkook in front of her.
She took a few steps forward, joining him at the chair on which he was manspreading.
She didn't overthink it when she decided to sit on one of his legs.
Such a natural gesture despite the fact that she hadn't done it for quite some time
"I don't remember saying yes to you"
"Not yet"
"And what makes you expect I’ll accept?"
"Do I really need to point this out to you? I guess you can get there on your own"
She smiled victoriously when she saw him lose his smirky face for a second. The boy was aroused and couldn't hide it.
"Nothing but a Toyboy," she whispered in his ear, letting a chuckle escape her lips. She laid a hand on his chest, not moving her face away from his.
How she loved to put him on the edge. The hell 'nothing but a toyboy', the girl was definitely madly still in love.
"You know" she persisted "Since women have more than one I should give you a nickname, so that you are unique and original compared to the others" She was enjoying herself far too much and trying to make him jealous was just the icing on the cake "You will be Silver lips, toyboy number 5”
She was barely able to finish the sentence because Jungkook suddenly grabbed her hips, pushing her even more towards him, his face livid with annoyance at the girl's words. Although he knew it wasn't true, the thought of sharing her, even if she was no longer his, was driving him mad.
'Do all your boyfriends know how to tame you? Cause one thing I know is that it's the only way to make someone interesting in your eyes" He took her chin between the fingers of his tattooed hand "Send them to me, I’ll teach them skills. I can clearly see that you are unsatisfied if you are so desperate for me”
She couldn't say she wasn't waiting for his rough tone of voice and mannerisms. She had been pushing for this side of him to come out since the beginning of the night.
She felt like squeezing her legs together to contain her growing enthusiasm.
Having such a dominant temperament in everyday life probably made her develop this desire to be tamed in intimacy. A desire that Jungkook always fulfilled.
He raised an eyebrow, again entertained. He was catching all the signals Chaeri's body was sending.
"You no longer say a word?"
She cleared her throat before speaking "I don't want to talk any more."
"You want me to kiss you"
"Yes"
"Take it yourself"
And she didn't let him tell her twice.
I think I could either do a second part or end it like this. I don’t know it yet
۵ Pandora
Bonus* Chaeri's dress of the night | Butter performance at AMAs 2021
#bts 8th member#bts female member#jungkook imagine#jungkook scenarios#bts eighth member#bts scenarios#bts 8th member au#bts au#bts au fanfic#bts imagines#bts female addition#kpop female member#kpop female oc#jungkook x reader#bts x reader#jungkook#bangtan#bangtan sonyeondan#bts idol au#idolverse#jimin#bts v#suga#yoongi#rap monster#namjoon#jin#seokjin#j hope#hoseok
195 notes
·
View notes
Text
Fic Library: Yoongi (Pt 2)
My ult bias, it makes sense that there were too many to fit into one list. All of these authors capture the essence of my favourite tsundere king, check these stories out and show them some love. Part 1 here.
A Steamy Conversation by @madbutgloriouspond. Yoongi x f! reader. You walk in on a half-naked, dripping wet, tangerine haired Yoongi, he's mean and cocky and the inevitable happens. Smutty perfection from Memes.
Clockwork Heart by @vyduan. Yoongi x reader. The chaebol tsundere Yoongi that I'll never stop screaming about. A brilliant, capable reader, a hot Yoongi who does secret acts of kindness, and beautifully rendered side characters including wise and witty BFF Seokjin.
Knee-high by @jjungkookislife. Yoongi x reader in an established relationship. A sexy, skirt wearing, orange haired, watermelon chapstick using Yoongi with a lip piercing in a smutty, enjoyable read.
I'm not even gonna say it by @taetaespeaches. Yoongi x reader. An incredibly cute, fluffy read, where Yoongi stops for lemonade on a swelteringly hot day.
Fireworks by @starlostjimin. Yoongi x f! reader in an established relationship. A soft, fluffy, spicy story with the domestic Yoongi of my dreams.
Too hot to sleep by @gamerguk. Fiance Yoongi x reader - a short, smutty read with a hilarious cameo from Hobi at the end.
The Sweetest Thing by @illneverrecover. A super cute sweet treat featuring a grumpy florist Yoongi and a baker reader.
Kinkmas Day Four drabble by @monimonimoon. A deliciously hot, petty co-worker Yoongi at the office Christmas party.
On the nature of living by @sugalaritae. Griddle's an incredible writer, and this very beautiful story starts off with Yoongi x a ghost reader and resonates so much with me emotionally.
Home by @junghelioseok. Secret agent AU with Yoongi x reader. Short, sweet and comforting.
Set me free by @hesperantha. A time-travel tale with tragedy of epic proportions. You won't have read anything else quite like it.
The one with Yoongi, Netflix and zero chill by @eoieopda. A hilarious reader, a fluffy and cuddly Yoongi and softness and feelings all round.
Yoongi is a rock by @yoongsisbae. A beautifully written story that made me think about mortality and constancy and has the singularly beautiful line ‘And when Yoongi cracked he thought of you’. It gives me chills remembering it. Stunning.
The one with Yoongi and the fucking hydrangeas by @eoieopda. I knew I was in for angst when I started reading but I didn't bank on the beautifully realised longing and characters I wanted to cry for. I adore this.
Best served cold by @anotherbtswriter. Yoongi and afab reader in a mafia AU with drama, tsundere Yoongi energy and a duplicitous family. Riveting.
Bao by @whatifyoulivelikethat. Delivery boy Yoongi x chef reader. One of the first Yoongi stories I read, and have re-read so many times since then. This Yoongi's so perfectly characterised, and there's a cameo from a sexy model Taehyung too.
Dominance and Domesticity by @theharrowing. A Yoongi who doms you in the bedroom and also does ironing? Where do I sign up? Sexy perfection.
Cybersex by @gimmethatagustd. Yoongi x f! reader. Reader is a phone sex hotline operator in this brother's best friend AU. Featuring a hot, confident, capable Yoongi who nearly set my screen on fire.
Shameless by @vyduan. Idolverse AU with Yoongi and reader. A stunning story, part of the Her multiverse series, with complex, layered characters that are so beautifully human. One of the first stories I read when I started reading BTS fanfic, and one I won't forget.
264 notes
·
View notes
Text
across the btuniverse ⟡ a bts x beatles collab | the masterlist
welcome to across the btuniverse, a collab for which we got a little help from our friends. we've got nine delightful stories for you to sit back and enjoy. as there is no deadline for this collab, all fics will be posted as they're finished. we thank you for your patience, and we really hope you enjoy them!
isn’t this more beautiful? ● written by @effortandmore
🍓 pairing: namjoon x reader
🍓 genre: idolverse, smut, angst, vibes
🍓 rating: explicit
🍓 summary: you meet namjoon by accident. you fall for him without noticing. he slips in and out of your life at will, and you let him. but as you get closer, you start to wonder if he’ll always feel lonely, even with you by his side. or, a small story told out of order about time, loneliness, and knowing what we deserve.
→ based on: eleanor rigby | READ HERE
long, long, long ● written by @moni-logues
🍓 pairing: jin x f. reader
🍓 genre: soulmates au, established relationship, angst, fluff, smut
🍓 rating: explicit
🍓 summary: in every life, you find each other. at least you used to. it’s been a long time and jin hasn’t been able to find you anywhere. he’s running out of hope, running out of places to turn. what if he’s lost you forever?
→ based on: long, long, long
don't let me down ● written by @hoseokhasmyheartxx
🍓 pairing: therapist!yoongi x f!Reader
🍓 genre: non-idol au, Angst, Smut
🍓 rating: explicit
🍓 summary: as a therapist, yoongi sees the worst in people every day. he stopped believing in love ages ago. an unexpected meeting changes all of that. but, unfortunately, some things will never change.
→ based on: don't let me down
this will only hurt a little ● written by @caelesjjk
🍓 pairing: motorcycle gang leader!yoongi x doctor!fem reader
🍓 genre: exes to lovers, romance, smut
🍓 rating: explicit
🍓 summary: you left him behind years ago. where he was going you couldn’t follow. now, you find yourself back in town after accepting a surgeons position after medical school. yoongi is still here and he still wants you after all this time.
→ based on: here, there and everywhere
the secrets we keep ● written by @the-boy-meets-evil
🍓 pairing: hoseok x reader
🍓 genre: musician (non-idol)!au, angst, smut
🍓 rating: explicit
🍓 summary: hoseok finally gets to go on his first real tour. it's everything he's ever wanted, getting to share his music with his fans. before he leaves, he promises you that nothing changes. he'll call every night and text every morning. there's only one problem. he’s not really sure if he means it.
→ based on: all my loving
a guy with a sword is bad news ● written by @ugh-yoongi
🍓 pairing: jimin x reader
🍓 genre: non-idol, mysticism au; strangers to lovers; angst, fluff
🍓 rating: mature
🍓 summary: yoongi tries telling him the “medium” he finds is bullshit, but jimin’s… stubborn, to say the least. desperate to find meaning in anything when his life feels like it’s falling apart.
he expects that the tarot readings might not come true; expects the horoscopes and chart readings and psychic visions might not either. but jimin underestimates the only part of this charade that’s real: you.
→ based on: blue jay way
subject to change ● written by @hot-soop
🍓 pairing: taehyung x reader
🍓 genre: slice of life, non idol au
🍓 rating: explicit
🍓 summary: taehyung makes up stories. he borrows the lives of the people he encounters, the people on his street - he writes about how they move, and what they say, and how he imagines they might think, how they might love. he writes about you, too.
→ based on: penny lane
nyooom ● written by @biashub
🍓 pairing: jungkook x reader
🍓 genre: smut, idol au
🍓 rating: explicit
🍓 summary: working as a valet for the most exclusive restaurant in town had its perks. one of those perks? you got to regularly drive jeon jungkook’s car.
→ based on: drive my car
love to love you ● written by @wonwussy
🍓 pairing: jungkook x reader
🍓 genre: angst, smut
🍓 rating: explicit
🍓 summary: he told you not to fall in love with him. you listened. however, he didn’t expect to break his own rule.
→ based on: if i fell
the fic info above is subject to change and belongs to its respective author.
#bts collab#jungkook x reader#taehyung x reader#jimin x reader#hoseok x reader#yoongi x reader#jin x reader#namjoon x reader#bts fanfic#bts imagines#bts scenarios#bts smut#collab: atbtu
111 notes
·
View notes
Text
Steel Blue: The Chasm
This is the second novelette of the Shades of Obsession Universe. The sequence of each member's 'love story' is yet to be put out, but Yoongi's story begins before Jin and Taehyung's.
Shades of Obsession Universe
Steel Blue Masterlist
****
Yandere Yoongi x Original Character
The knife made a low, soft thud each time it came in contact with the cutting board. The lid of the pot fogged as steam collected on its surface. Giving it a short but vigilant glance, Holly resumed her focus on chopping the vegetables. As soon as she removed the lid, a cloud of steam rushed up.
“Perfect.”
She hummed to herself as she put the vegetables into the stew. It was her boyfriend’s comfort food. And perhaps it was not an expected dish to be served for date night but tomorrow was his birthday and she wanted the date night to make it as comforting and beautiful as possible— just her and him.
She had also prepared some appetizers to his liking. All that was left was to prepare a warm and relaxing bath for him. She had filled the bathroom cabinets with his favourite bath bombs and scented candles. All the things that would loosen the stressful knots in him.
Putting the stew away, she wiped her hands and took off her apron before glancing at the clock and then at the door. It was about time, he should be home any moment. He promised to be home by—
The doorbell rang twice.
Holly rushed to open it. And as anticipated, she was greeted by her boyfriend. He gave her a tired smile.
“I kept my promise. Happy?”
Yoongi’s voice was a low baritone as he walked in, shoulders slumped and lips chapped. Despite the onset of the spring season, the evenings were frosty still and the redness of his nose showed that.
“Why don’t you freshen up first I have prepared a hot bath and—”
“Thank you.”
With that, Yoongi walked past her, straight into the bedroom. Holly stood and watched as he discarded his jacket carelessly on the bed and walked into the bathroom.
Salad.
Yes, she had not prepared the salad yet.
With that, she rushed back into the kitchen and proceeded to cut the ingredients and make a dressing for the salad before Yoongi would come back.
Holly put all her focus on the salad, and by the time she was done- satisfied with the product, she turned around, only to find Yoongi sitting at the dining table.
“Oh, you are done?” how come she never heard him walking in and sitting?
“Yes. I…I took a quick shower actually, I was hungry. I called you twice but I think you were busy with the salad.” his eyes dropped to the bowl in her grasp.
“Y-yes, yes, I think I was too engrossed with it.”
“I like the aroma.”
“It is your favourite stew.” she walked to the table and placed the salad on it. “But first, appetizers.”
“You went all three-course?”
“Four actually, I even have dessert.”
A faint smile graced his lips. “Oh, I see. Sit down, please.”
Holly sat as Yoongi prepared the plates- chopsticks for him, fork and spoon.
“That’s not needed, I know how to use chopsticks by now.”
“Yes but, I thought you would be more comfortable with these.”
“I’m comfortable with chopsticks now, don’t worry.”
And she was. Yoongi observed how well she had learnt to use them over the years. And not only chopsticks, but she also perfected his favourite dish, she had mastered so many Korean recipes.
He could not even recall when was the first time they had cooked together a delicacy of her own country. When was the last time he had cooked for her? He knew she loved his cooking.
He licked his lips and focused on plating the food. He could at least try. They had to try. The food was, needless to say, good. But all were his favourite items.
“It’s delicious.”
She smiled at his appreciation before going back to eating. The soft clinking noise was the only sound prevalent in the room until she spoke up again.
“We have a date tomorrow, you remember, right?”
Yoongi did not look up from his plate. He focused on eating instead.
“Yoongi?”
He heard her, of course, he heard her but he could not afford another day’s work hours cut short. Their date was important to him, but not more than the songs he and his team members were so diligently working on.
“I’m sorry I cannot make it tomorrow. Namjoon is working on some songs and me and Hobi are going to evaluate—”
“Hoseok can do that.”
“My inputs are just as important, you know that Holly.” he sighed, too tired for another argument.
“But Mr Kang told us that we need to spend more time with each other, at least two dates a week is required.”
“We can speak to him this weekend about my schedule then. No big deal, we will have to find an alternative.”
“It’s for the initial months. It won’t be a regular thing. You can go back to your schedule after—”
“After? After what? After a therapist fixes our relationship?”
“We did not know what else to do?”
“This was your idea.” Yoongi hissed lowly.
“So what did you expect me? Sit and watch us fall apart?” Holly held an exasperated expression as her grip on her chopstick tightened.
Yoongi stared back at her, equally frustrated.
“We could talk this out. You just booked an appointment and dragged me there.” he deadpanned.
“Really? You are either tired, frustrated, or absent- every time we tried to talk it escalated into an argument, why can’t you see we needed this!”
He noticed how beautifully she had learnt his language. When was the last time she spoke to him in her mother tongue?
“When was the last time you cooked something from your country?”
“W-what?” her eyes held confusion “How is this even relevant?”
“It is. It is very much relevant. You have–I mean don’t you miss it?”
“I miss us, Yoongi, and that is why I am trying everything in my power to save this relationship, but I cannot do this alone. I need you.”
Holly could feel the dull sting behind her eyes, all too familiar and all too quick.
This was supposed to be their night, it was supposed to end peacefully, and it was supposed to remind them how important they were to each other.
“I am here, Holly, I try to be here as much as I can but are you?”
“What do you mean?”
Yoongi opened his mouth to spit out the words that hung at the tip of his tongue but could not. It did not feel right, but that was all he could think of at the moment. Yet, her glassy eyes prevented him from screaming his heart out. He gulped and instead focused on his food.
He was hungry.
Yes, he was hungry. And tired.
“Yoongi? Yoongi, look at me. Why do you always stop like that? Tell me?”
“What?” he muttered as he looked up.
“Tell me what is wrong?”
He paused with a hard star.
“You want to know what is wrong, Holly?” he gritted out.
“This…This perfection- the perfect girlfriend who has mastered each of her boyfriend’s favourite dishes, remembers all important days…Like…Like…”
“Like what?” she was bewildered.
Was not he happy that she understood and knew him?
“I don’t know Holly…You have strived to be the ‘perfect girlfriend’... So perfect that I do not recognise you anymore!”
Holly blinked back her tears. She could not fathom his words, if anything, they confused her. What was he complaining about?
“I–I don’t understand. What do you mean? I thought you are happy.”
“Exactly! You are trying to make me happy…And you are not– you are not you anymore Holly…”
Yoongi felt tears welling up.
A whole year’s frustration piling up, ready to burst out from the tightly-closed glass jar.
“You are not the Holly I fell in love with. The one who often made simple errors in the kitchen, the one who loved desserts from her country and made me try them, the one who was curious about me, one who was comfortable in her own imperfections, the one who–I don’t know…I feel like I have never given so much effort in this relationship, and it seems forced to me, a responsibility…We are not the same people who met in that old-style ramen stall anymore!”
He knew his words were haphazard, they did not come out as he wanted, but at least he let it out. He never realised that he had raised his voice, but he felt the strain afterwards as he leaned against his chair- exhausted, frustrated, lost.
“I thought…I should learn.” she whispered out.
“Unlearn then…Please. You are a completely different person…You don’t need to be perfect, I need you here. You are assimilating, Holly, and I feel like I’m losing you. I am not perfect either, please. We can’t be this…This perfect couple, that’s not us”
“I thought–I mean we are getting married, soon, I should learn to live with you.”
Yoongi licked his lips and looked away. Growing frustrated with each passing moment. He felt utterly helpless, and it was his own doing. He just…
He shook his head and stood up. “I’m sorry, I never knew…You looked so happy that day.”
“What do you mean?”
She felt a strange chill infesting her.
“Yoongi?”
Yoongi gulped and ran his fingers through his hair. He messed up. And the guilt would not spare him a moment’s peace.
“I’m sorry…I can’t anymore. I lied to you.”
He could watch the confusion and he knew what would follow if he continued. He continued regardless, he had to let it all out.
“I was-I am not ready. I did not want to get engaged but you–I felt the need to reassure you and I thought that I would get used to it eventually. I could not…You just…You act like a perfect wife already as if-as if we are in a fucking perfect marriage- we are not Holly! People are not perfect- neither should they be. I am not. And I...I cannot take this pressure anymore.”
He watched, with welled-up eyes as tears freely flowed from her eyes. The realisation where it all went downhill dawned on her, it was like Yoongi could see the process itself. He looked away.
She had been weaving a fairytale dream- and it was smothering him.
“So…So you lied to me? Y-you proposed to me, Yoongi…Why put a ring on my finger then?” she rose from her chair as well.
“I’m sorry, I’m so…Sorry. You needed assurance, I loved you, I love you still, but I do not feel like I am with the girl I fell I fell in love with. Not anymore.”
He felt the warmth of his first tear on his heated cheek and looked away.
Seeing no other reason to stay, he walked back into the bedroom, took his previously discarded jacket from the bed and walked out of the apartment. He did not have the courage to turn back and watch the damage he had done.
There was no turning back.
Holly stood there, flinching at the sound of the door shutting. She realised that her cheeks were damp. Feeling her legs grow heavier with each passing moment, she sat back on the chair. And she kept sitting there until the hour hand struck midnight.
With no sign of Yoongi returning, she stood up, opened the fridge and took out the cake she had baked for his birthday. She gave it a long, yearning stare, before dumping it into the dustbin.
—-----
Mr Kang’s office was pristine, and for the first time, she realised how unnatural and unhomely the perfection looked.
“Should we wait for Mr Min? He knows that we have an appointment, I think.”
“He is not coming.” Holly replied simply.
She was back at Mr Kang’s office a day after Yoongi’s birthday- he did not return home since he left.
“How was the date, Ms Wilson?”
“There was no date.” it was a defeated whisper,
“Any particular reason?”
Holly remained silent, she could not bring herself to repeat the stabbing words.
“It’s okay if you do not want to tell me, how about we—”
“I’m sorry, can we cut this session short?”
Mr Kang observed her for a moment, but before he could respond, the door opened with a knock, revealing Yoongi.
“I’m sorry. I’m late.”
Yoongi gave him a nod and bow before his gaze found Holly, who did not look up.
"The session is not over, I believe?" he eyed Mr Kang expectantly.
“Of course not, Mr Min. Please sit down.”
Yoongi took a seat on the other end of the couch, the distance between them had not reduced since their first session, which was two weeks ago. But this time, Yoongi noticed.
“I heard that the date night could not happen. Any special reason?”
Yoongi stiffened and nodded.
“I did not show up.”
Mr Kang nodded before writing something on his notepad.
“We almost had a dinner date at home, the night before my birthday.” Yoongi continued with initial hesitance.
Mr Kang gave him an encouraging nod “And how did it go?”
Yoongi looked at Holly, who refused to look back at him.
He turned to Mr Kang and responded “I messed up. I was being honest- but I failed to communicate.”
“Would you explain?”
“I told her that I proposed to her because I felt pressured to do so…Which is true, but not completely. I did not feel pressured because I do not love Holly. I love her- I loved her before I proposed, I loved her while I proposed, and I love her still. I just never saw marriage as a validation of love. Perhaps I have been too afraid of this…Permanent thing. Because I know that I can never give her the tranquil married life that she had always wanted. And she adapted to my culture, my language, and my way of life so easily, so beautifully, it only reminded me how I was going to disappoint her in future. She wants marriage, I don’t. Not because I don’t love her, no, because I know that I cannot be the husband she deserves.”
He turned to Holly again, who sat still, gazing at the floor.
“You had become so busy in becoming the ‘perfect wife material’, trying to appease me, you lost yourself, Holly. And I never wanted this. And each time look at you, I realise how much less effort I have been putting in and it makes me feel pressurized. Because I am not the husband you want…This was not us, Holly. This was not the love we built together.”
Holly Wilson still refused to look up and meet his gaze, refused to break the silence from her side that was eating him alive.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry Holly, say something…I just wanted us to be back the way we were. You were you…And I-I am still me but, not you.”
“If you still loved me, if you still trusted me, you would not have lied to me. You would have told me what you felt.”
She finally broke the silence, but her voice did not rise beyond a whisper.
Min Yoongi had never been the expressive kind, and when he said that he loved her, he meant it with all of his heart. He had gone straight to Namjoon’s apartment after the argument and when he spoke with the younger, he had gained a sort of clarity of his thought, his doubts and objections. Namjoon helped him see what truly was at risk and what truly had gone wrong.
And things had started going downhill ever since the day he decided to propose to her instead of talking it out with her.
“You have to believe me this time.”
Holly only scoffed.
The silence stretched on for another moment before Mr Kang decided to break it.
“It is a good sign that you are gaining clarity Mr Min, and communicating better. This is one step forward. However, seeing the situation, why don’t we divert our approach for today? Let’s do something lighter. Okay? Ms Wilson?”
Holly finally looked up, straightened her shoulders and nodded with a quiet ‘sure’.
“So, tell me, Ms Wilson, what are the things you love about Mr Min that even he fails to notice, or appreciate? Something that very few people notice?”
Holly sighed and began after a short silence.
“I love it when he pretends that he does not need attention but just puts himself on my way to gain it. I love the way he loses himself when he plays the piano, with the little movements of his shoulders that he does involuntarily as if he is dancing to the music in his mind. I love it when…When he makes a certain sound while contemplating a task at hand. I love the way he treats his band members as his family and I adore the fact that he keeps in mind my favourite tea brand, the type, and the cookies I like to have with it. I love it when he wakes up before sunrise and takes pictures of the rising sun, only to go back to bed again. And I love it how he takes the side of the bed facing the door so that he could keep me safe.”
She paused and bit her lips, trying to hold back the tears threatening to escape her eyes.
“And I love it when his hand reaches out for mine unconsciously, even in sleep. I love his low humming while shaves in the bathroom. I love his old pinewood perfume, I love how his cheeks swell when he purses his lips…And I love it when he gets drunk- the way his face flushes and he loosens up a little. I love the way his cold hands warm up with mine, like the sun rising on a winter morning. And I love it when he cooks for me- even if it’s a simple, untoasted sandwich, I love it because he made it.”
By the time she was done, a single tear had already traced her cheek- every moment she spent with him flashed in front of her as if it were her last moments on earth and all her life had been concentrated in those, tiny, but beautiful moments- moments she would never forget.
“And Mr Min?”
Yoongi sighed inaudibly and bit the insides of his lips before he began-
“I love it when she closes her eyes to the morning sunrays as if absorbing them, I have secretly taken so many pictures of her, with the little smile playing on her lips I adore so much. I love it when she makes tiny mistakes while making a dish from my culture- it’s cute actually. I love it when she faces me in her sleep and snuggles close to me as if I am her safe person. I love the warmth her hands provide when they touch mine, and I love the feeling of our fingers intertwining together like a vine, it’s a natural instinct to go for her hand, to hold her hand. I love it when she sings in the shower, it’s quite off the tune actually- funny to the ears of a musician but I love it anyway. I love all the imperfections she possesses and has been trying so desperately to get rid of. But I want her to know, that if she does, she would be giving away a part of her that I have always adored. I love it when she wakes up often due to my movements when I wake up to take pictures of the rising sun, but then pretends to be asleep. But I notice her irregular breathing and her fluttering eyelids.”
Yoongi chuckled at the end, all the moments flooding into his mind like an old film. He turned to her, only to find her looking at him.
Finally!
He mentally sighed in relief as his eyes met hers.
“Well done, Mr Min and Ms Wilson. The session ends here.” Mr Kang declared.
Holly stood up and walked out as soon as he did without another word.
“Mr Min, could I have a word with you please?”
Mr Kang’s words paused Yoongi’s movements and he sat back down with a nod.
“As much as I can interpret, the day before yesterday, you told her how you feel regarding the engagement, am I right?”
Yoongi nodded “Yes, I did. I told her that I only proposed to her so that she would be reassured of my love for her. But for me, a ring cannot decide out love’s depth. She had always dreamt of that fairytale-like married life- filled with cosy comfort and contentment. And I cannot give her that.”
“So, where do you think the problem lies? The differences in opinion regarding married life? Or have you subconsciously pushed her away, thinking that you do not deserve her?”
Yoongi was a little taken aback by the way Mr Kang detected the deepest roots of the issue- but then again, he was a renowned couple therapist. He nodded slowly and admitted.
“I can never give her what she deserves, my life would not let me- not until I retire. But even then, music would always be my first love, her actions, her efforts make me feel so…makes me realise that I am not doing enough, I have never done enough.”
“Maybe, it is not the ‘fairy-tale marriage’ Ms Wilson wants, Mr Min- maybe it's simply marriage is what she wants- marriage with you.”
Yoongi frowned at the conclusion, but Mr Kang continued
“Had she really wanted such a perfect married life, she would have expected and urged you to fit into the ‘perfect husband material’ frame as well, but she did not, did she? Yes, she did bring in some significant changes in her own habits which, reasonably made you uncomfortable, or, miss the person she once was. But maybe, you can try looking through a different prospect? Maybe she had intended to better herself. Maybe she has been feeling unworthy of you, or insecure too?”
“What do you mean, Mr Kang?”
“What I mean is that all you both need to do is to communicate clearly, and try not to hurt each others’ feelings while doing so. I believe Ms Wilson had not hurt your feelings- not at least the way you did hers.”
Yoongi could not help but nod. He had messed up- no, he fucked up. He really fucked up this time.
“Mr Min, I want you to answer me honestly, how do you see your future?”
“In future…Well, me making more music, BTS all over the billboards around the world- not just our country,- all over the world. Me and Holly…” he paused, contemplating, before continuing- “We will get a kitten, or two. We will buy a countryside farmhouse and spend vacations there. Maybe along the way, we…we can have a child of our own.”
Mr Kang scribbled something on his notepad.
“Hm, so you see the future with Ms Wilson?”
“Of course I do.”
“And what if she is not there in the picture?”
Yoongi’s previously fidgeting fingers paused and knit together tightly
“I would rather not think so.” he deadpanned.
“So you cannot afford to lose her?”
Yoongi did not respond to the question, instead, held the therapist’s gaze with calm confidence.
“Then fight for this, for her as she has for you, Mr Min. Unknowingly, you have given her the impression that she is not important enough to you, you have unconsciously made her insecure and maybe that’s why she felt this strong need to master everything in your life and adapt so quickly.”
Yoongi felt the familiar sting behind his eyes as he opened his eyes to Hooly’s perception.
“Give her back the confidence, Mr Min, show her how important she is to you. Sometimes, it is important to show and verbally express.”
And all Yoongi could manage was a weak nod before he made his way out of the room.
****
So, finally, the first chapter of 'Steel Blue' is here, there is more angst to come. I intended to be honest regarding the problem the couple faces and not take sides and I hope I did justice to this, if not, forgive me, I am only learning.
@oppa-agust-d @mintsugarmy @amoc94 @ratherbefangirling @yoongi-wife
#yandere bts#bts yandere#yandere yoongi#yandere suga#yandere yoongi x oc#yandere idol bts#yandere idol yoongi#yandere idolverse#shades of obsession#steel blue#yandere yoongi story
157 notes
·
View notes
Text
freya's myg reads (series)
Hello. Following are the Yoongi fics I have read this year. I am going to compile two lists ; one for series and one for one-shots as both of them are too long haha.
disclaimer : all the fics are 18+ so minors kindly dni!
note : if you read the following fics, please interact with them and reblog them, give the writer a follow to show them your love.
series ♡
three tangerines - @kithtaehyung
-> brother's best friend!yoongi | ongoing
mixtape - @haliiimede
-> brother's best friend!yoongi | completed
trip no further - @matchstick6812
-> soulmate au | idolverse | completed
unexpected lovers - @jjkeverlast
-> fake dating | completed
look down on me like that - @here2bbtstrash
-> enemies to lovers | coworker au | ongoing
twirl for me - @gimmethatagustd
-> dilf!yoongi x stripper!reader | ongoing
match made in hell - @ughcore
-> arranged marriage au | ongoing
monachopsis - @personasintro
-> husband's brother!yoongi | ongoing
countermelody - @bonvoyagenoona
-> producer!yoongi | very slight e2l | completed
dating advice - @taleasnewastime
-> bartender!yoongi | completed
back burner - @yoonpobs
-> sister's best friend!yoongi | completed
carousel - @yoonia
-> arranged marriage au | completed
aquiver - @floralseokjin
-> idol!yoongi x sexworker(kinda?only handjob)!reader | completed
so it goes - @prodagustd
-> friends with benefits au | ongoing
set me free - @myooniverse
-> arranged marriage au | completed
♡ - these are some amazing recommendations from me. also these are the series i had started reading this year. i have still not completed some of them. so basically this post is also to remind me to complete all of them and reblog them :)
#yoongi#min yoongi#yoongi series#yoongi angst#yoongi fluff#yoongi smut#myg#min yoongi fanfic#yoongi fic recs#suga fic#suga#bts fic rec#.yoongi#.bts#.angst#.nsfw#.fluff#.list#freya.recs
771 notes
·
View notes
Note
No. 27? For all the couples 🦋
Hahaha, this is a good one.
27. Who is the light weight that needs to be taken care of after a party?
Namjoon x Kaya - They’d both handle their alcohol pretty well, but on occasion would need to take care of the other. Kaya is more likely to get drunker while hanging out with friends or girlfriends, while Namjoon is more likely to get wasted at a party.
Seokjin x Nari - Nari
Yoongi x Miso - Neither, but if at all, then Yoongi
Hoseok x Chaeyoung - Both; Hoseok would pace himself automatically if Chaeyoung was drinking to make sure he’d be able to keep track of her
Jimin x Sooah - Mostly neither, but once in a blue moon, Sooah
Taehyung x Dilara - Taehyung
Jungkook x Lia - Lia, once in a while Jungkook
Asks for OTPs
#notes🍷#taehyung x dilara#namjoon x kaya#jungkook x lia#seokjin x nari#jimin x sooah#hoseok x chaeyoung#yoongi x miso#OCs of the idolverse#ask game
3 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
mantulsi55
Untitled
sophie-bg
Glamourus Indie Rock & Roll
ri420lover
Open Minded RI Guy ;)
sevkarvakfi
SEVKAR VAKFI
tuwetodefoq
Untitled