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bugsbia · 7 months

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Wanderer having a fat crush on gender neutral reader

BEFORE READING: okay this is just some 6am fluff, I haven’t slept at all and just wanted to ramble about scara being soft so this won’t be very well written, but it’s not horrid.🩷

just fluff, big time fluff

You came into his life unexpectedly, incredibly unexpectedly since he never really intended to form any close bonds anytime soon for the fear of abandonment still lingered within his heart. He couldn’t help it though, something about you just grabbed his attention and intrigued him. He didn’t even truly understand his own feeling at first, a crush wasn’t exactly something he’d had yet in his 500 years of life.

You didn’t jump at the chance to talk to him at first since he had quite the reputation for being cold and distant, but he slowly made is way into your life. Coincidently finding you in the library as you studied and offering to help, he’s awfully smart for a man who looks no older than 23. It amazed you to a degree, but it also came off as a little obnoxious, he would definitely cut you off with an “Uhm actually”.

You two sort of became friends after these little study sessions happened a few times, waving and saying hi whenever you’d cross paths, sometimes he’d even give you food under the pretence of “having cooked too much” when in reality he just wanted to cool something up for you. He liked the way you’d look so happy to have a nice meal during your studies, it was a joy he never truly got to experience and seeing you get to experience it felt as if it was healing his heart a little.

He slowly began to touch you, not in a weird way, just small gestures. Hands brushing against eachother, light pats on the back or putting a hand on your shoulder as he watched over your shoulder at whatever task you were up-to. He began holding onto your hand to take you places, playing it off as simply not wanting to lose you in such a busy city such a sumeru. I’m reality he just liked the way it felt, the way your hands so easily fit together, how your fingers intertwined. You didn’t seem to mind it either, so he never stopped, but he would have if you asked him too.

You both grew accustomed to these touches, your hands remaining intertwined long beyond what was truly needed, he’d let his hand linger sometimes at the small or your back whenever you’d be stand by each-others side. At some point during this you realised your growing feelings for him, the way your heart would flutter and stomach would knot when you felt his hand on you, the way you’d feel a little giddy when he held onto your hand. It also made you feel special, this man was known by students of the academia for being a no non-sense person who rarely even paid attention to anyone, but he was here with you, showing you these affections that would have students spitting out their drinks.

He tried to hide his adoration for you behind a thin lie, saying he was merely being nice and only doing these things because you so clearly liked it. He knew the truth though, he was just scared to admit it, worried you’d run for the hills, disappear the way those of his past did if you found out he truly adored you, the way you smiled, the way you laughed, everything about you. He didn’t want to risk the friendship.

He would often go to Nahida for advice for you, grumbling and mumbling over how he didn’t know what to do, and he was so very confused. She would promote him to confess to you, seeing it as a good step in the right direction. If you rejected him then he’d learn to handle rejection, it was a good exercise for him and after weeks and months worth of discussion with Nahida he finally did it.

It wasn’t anything big, he isn’t the kind of guy to go all the way out for a confession. It was simple, you two were together in the library again, studying the way you did when you first met, he startled you for a moment when he said your name in such a serious, you panicked for a moment. Worrying if you’d hurt him, if something had gone wrong, but your nerves instantly calmed when he quietly grumbled that he liked you. He tried to make himself feel better by playing up his sarcastic persona, acting as if this was no big deal to him, but the vulnerability in his eyes told you everything.

Especially when you told him you felt the same, the looked shock for a short moment before quickly trying to cover it up, acting all confident like he knew you’d like him because he was just so cool. All a silly facade to try cover up the adoration he felt for you, you knew it was just a facade though with the way he smiled to himself and the light blush upon his cheeks. How adorable he was, and now he was your boyfriend.

#Scaramouche x reader #Scaramouche #scaramouche x you #genshin x you #genshin x reader #genshin #genshin impact #genshin impact X reader #genshin impact X you #Scaramouche fluff #genshin fluff #wanderer #wanderer x you #wanderer genshin #wanderer x reader

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yaksha-lover · 3 months

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Hey! How are you doing? I don’t know how dark you’re willing to go, but the angst brainrot is back and I guess I just need somewhere to ramble.

Sometimes I like to think about how the prefect’s super chill reactions to… well everything, could just be a carefully crafted facade. I mean, the students at NRC are kinda awful people, and I don’t doubt any weakness would be swarmed like vultures to a fresh corpse. And a magicless, naive person like Yuu would be an extremely easy target. So, instead they just bury all the pain and pretend everything is okay. They’re not crying for their family and home late into the night.

The way that kind of repression would just build up over the year and slowly cause resentment towards everyone, deserved or not, is just delicious. Pretending to be everyone’s friend, to be the kind and welcoming prefect while coming to hate the other students’ guts. The eventual snap after one misplaced comment or one more mess to deal with, when the house of cards all falls down.

Maybe Rollo was right.

Idk, just got a lot of thoughts. Mainly based off of how Rook calls the prefect “Trickster” and the prologue almost framed Yuu in a strategist role. Thoughts?

Honestly, it would make a lot of sense. As much as we love the boys, most of them would be pretty terrible to be around and are very selfish and/or mean (with some exceptions, but that’s still a good majority of the school).

I like the idea that Yuu does start out genuinely wanting to help everyone and find people to be friends with, to try and make this experience of being trapped in another world even somewhat bearable.

At first it’s okay that Ace is a jerk sometimes, because he comes around once you get to know him. It’s fine that Riddle nitpicks and punishes the three of you because in the end, he’s trying his best to get better, to heal from his past. It’s alright that Leona is unrepentant and mean, because he has things he’s been dealing with, and you need to be understanding of his pain. Even when Azul tricks your friends and later you, when you almost lose your Ramshackle, the one place you’ve had to call home, you try to have patience, because he’s got his own issues as well, he has his reasons for things.

But somewhere along the way, you’ve stopped caring for their excuses. Their trauma is real, but so is yours. Even after everything you’ve done to try and help them, you don’t doubt for a moment that none of them would run to your rescue. That they wouldn’t take any opportunity to step on and over you if it meant getting closer to their goals. Because at the end of the day, none of them cared, no matter how much you wanted to believe it wasn’t true.

Breaking down isn’t an option - not when everyone is out for themselves, when your feelings would surely only be ridiculed at best and taken advantage of at worst. Even more than that, you’re a guest at this school. You never earned your way here like the other students and you’re magicless; the only reason you’re even here are extenuating circumstances. The headmage isn’t any more loyal than the housewardens - if any of them had a problem with you, it wouldn’t be a stretch to imagine he’d throw you out onto the street the second you became an inconvenience that was too much work to handle. So you keep quiet, even when all you want is to tell off everyone around you.

The only housewarden to ever seem to really give a damn about you is Vil, but by the time you get close with him, it’s already too late. Maybe if you met him first, if you’d been less scorned, you could’ve forgiven his little digs at your lacklustre presence and imperfection. He’d done much to try and make up for it after all, helping you out with Ramshackle and voicing his appreciation for you. It was more than you could say for anyone else, but it still isn’t enough. Vil’s sweetness can’t counteract the bitter taste that’s been brewing for months, so you can’t bring yourself to forgive him despite everything.

It’s not his fault, but it’s never anyone’s fault. It’s all of them, chipping away at your sanity little by little.

It’s okay that you can never fall asleep anymore, kept awake by memories of never ending fights and catastrophes to deal with. It’s okay that the same people you’ve helped barely regard you as more than something worth pitying. It’s okay that you’re reminded every day that no effort is being put towards getting you away from this hellhole and back home.

It’s all okay, until it’s not. Until Yuu finally reaches their breaking point, and starts to question if anyone is truly worth saving at this school.

#twst x reader #twst yuu #twst #twisted wonderland

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zebulontheplanet · 21 days

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I’m not going to sugar coat this.

Being newly nonverbal is one of the loneliest experiences that I have had to face. Yes, I’ve felt more lonely the past few weeks than I ever have in my life.

I look around, and I have awesome friends who have been through similar things that I have. I have mutuals that have been through similar things, I have them. And I love them, and especially appreciate that one friend who has been more than patient with me and has been in my DMs since day one of this journey. (You know who you are 😉😘 wink emoji, kiss wink emoji)

But, that doesn’t even touch close to some of the loneliness I’ve faced. I am very bad at keeping boundaries. At not venting too much, at not telling too much. So, I stay away. I don’t vent to my friends. I don’t tell them too much and say the bare minimum so I don’t overwhelm them and make them feel like I’m using them. I know this isn’t healthy and you should rely on people once and awhile, but that’s just who I am at the moment.

Being newly nonverbal is hard. In media, it’s all people who are nonverbal from birth or people who call themselves “partially nonspeaking” when they’re really verbal people who use AAC to talk because it makes them more comfortable or they have verbal shutdowns. Which is fine and another conversation for another time, but our experiences are so different that I can’t relate most of the time.

Being nonverbal isn’t sunshine and roses. Yes, I’m very lucky. I had AAC before I went nonverbal, I had supportive parents who are supporting me and helping me through every step of the way, but do they truly understand? No. Cause they can’t truly understand what it’s like to lose your speech. They just can’t. And that’s ok.

Being nonverbal is lonely in itself. It’s hard to deal with. The constant ableism, the constant fear and anxiety, society, everything. But it’s lonely when you become nonverbal later in life too. Which is a rare thing that can happen, and isn’t very common at all. So, you don’t have many people to talk to, to relate to. That’s lonely.

I bet my loneliness will get better with time and the more people I connect with. But still, at this time, it’s lonely, and disheartening, and hurtful. It’s just a new experience that I have to get used to, that I have to understand more, that I have to appreciate and learn to deal with more.

Just taking it one day at a time, and hoping the more I can talk about this, the more I can prevent someone else from feeling as lonely as I did.

#zebrambles #autism #actually autism #actually autistic #nonverbal #actually nonverbal #actually mute #mute #long post

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butmakeitgayblog · 4 months

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"Canon Clarke (I have theories)" may I ask 👀

Ok hear me out! I'm gonna try and explain this as best I can 😅

I believe that Clarke was extremely vocal in bed. If we look at the facts, Clarke has a big mouth and talks a lot. A lot. Often robustly, generally at inopportune times, and almost always out of turn. Girl just barely gave the tiniest of fucks at any given point in time. She did not shy away from saying exactly what she felt at any given time.

It's literally why we love her 🥺

And going off that you're not gonna tell me that didn't translate to the bedroom. How am I, a virgo lesbian with impeccable taste, meant to believe that that woman wasn't just as demonstrative in bed as she was outside of it? Just as vocal?

If you take into account the fact that after 307 everyone and their goddamn brother seemed to be aware of Clarke and Lexa's relationship, the logical question comes: How did they find out? How did literally everyone suddenly know about them without a doubt, to the point they felt comfortable speaking intimately about Lexa to Clarke? Yes Lexa wasn't subtle about her affections, but Clarke before them sleeping together was still very standoffish in her anger.

So what changed?

My theory: word of mouth.

I absolutely theorize that the guards/occupants of the surrounding tower floors quite literally heard Heda kom Body Glitter and Wanheda blowing each other's backs out, and then immediately started gossiping about it. Given the fact that their public interactions up until that point had been cloaked in so much pomp and ceremony, broken up with these strange, sporadic private moments of Clarke spending hours alone in the silence of Lexa's room as Lexa read and slept, to finally hear the sounds of them going full sapphic pauna on each other would've absolutely been something that any warrior would've gone on break and been like "biiiiiitch do you know what I just heard???" about immediately 🤷‍♀️

"Well what makes you think it was Clarke who was loud? Clarke was the one who fucked Lexa into a nap 🤨" you may ask.

To which I say: shut up and you're wrong.

Because, again, look at the facts. Lexa's love language was not only acts, but also she liiived for encouraging Clarke. Lexa was always Clarke biggest cheerleader. Her most ardent and vocal supporter. She was always the one stepping up and telling Clarke that she was capable and strong and everything else Clarke needed to hear in moments when she felt vulnerable. Do you honestly believe, after months of pining, when Lexa finally got the chance to make love to the woman who had stolen her heart and then spit in her face, that she wouldn't want to hear every single last sound of Clarke's pleasure? That she didn't encourage Clarke to completely lose herself in the pleasure of it? Do you honestly believe that when she rolled over and kissed Clarke, when she straddled her and made her writhe beneath her, when she licked through her folds and fucked her in her plush bed of furs, that she didn't ask Clarke if it felt good? If she liked this or that? That she didn't quietly beg into Clarke's ear for her to moan for her? Do you honestly believe that Lexa didn't pay attention to every twitch of Clarke's lips and gasp of her breath and use all those signals to make Clarke completely lose control? And that Clarke didn't give Lexa exactly what she wanted to hear? Willingly? Robustly? That she didn't want Lexa to hear exactly how much she made her feel? As far as either of them knew, this may be the only time they got to experience this intimacy together before their people pulled them apart. Do you really believe they didn't do exactly what they wanted to the fullest extent in those few hours they lay hidden from the world???

Clarke may not have been ready to tell Lexa that she loved her because of the anger and betrayal that lingered between them, but you're not going to ever make me believe that when she made love with Lexa she didn't do everything she could to show it

#sassymajesty #clexa #clarke Griffin #i also theorize that lexa was the only lover Clarke ever let herself be loud with #or felt the urge/ pleasure in being so #finn was the awkward rush of first love and sex #Niylah was comfort and solace #but Lexa? Lexa was love and passion #heartbreak and healing #yearning and fulfillment

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justlikeeddie · 4 months

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all of layton and nikita's strictly dances ranked CORRECTLY by ME

14. Samba, Week 1

unfair to have to rank this one really because nobody really knows what they’re doing in week 1. FASCINATING to go back and watch this though. obvs this is strong in the context of a first week dance! but knowing where they’re going to go from here… this is the one and only time you can see that nikita is dancing layton through the steps and keeping him afloat. they’re not yet a PARTNERSHIP here. they don’t KNOW each other!!! anyway good luck to these boys with navigating what they are going to experience over the next three months <3

13. American Smooth, Week 10

the infamous bottom-two dance. a result which i believe was undeserved!!! but the american smooth IS the most boring category on strictly unfortunately, so it’s a humble placing for this one. i did not love their outfits, for once! why don’t they go together. why does nikita look like peter pan. however, obviously i liked it when they both picked each other up and did a little skip in the air. also enjoyed how much craig enjoyed being bammed up by the ending.

12. Rumba, Week 12

controversial to place this so low in the ranking perhaps?? obviously this was a complex routine that they performed beautifully AND was very tender and intimate. but the rumba is the second most boring dance on strictly after the american smooth i’m afraid I’M SORRY. however, points awarded for nikita saying afterwards that dancing this felt like the rest of the world fell away and they were the only two people in existence. girl what

11. Salsa, Week 5

a great dance! fun! good vibes! their first lift! followed by a bit that i like where nikita has to sort of kick layton upright again. loses points ONLY for being perhaps their least homoerotic dance, which one of them, i guess, has to be.

10. Tango, Week 6

all the ingredients for greatness are here. TANGO. HALLOWEEN. layton is in high goth drag. nikita looks a bit like paul gross as geoffrey tennant as hamlet in the flashback sections of slings and arrows s1. but weirdly i don’t think this dance quite lives up to the level of drama i expected from it. having just rewatched it i think it’s because they’re ACTING like it’s a MELODRAMA, and it FEELS like they’re acting, as opposed to the way they usually totally inhabit the narrative of a dance. however. the switch from this vibe into the denouement - the BACKFLIP (fuck!!!) - and then the breathy, drawn-out final moment, which they suddenly ARE inhabiting, braced over each other and staring into each other’s eyes like they are ON GOD going to fuck in the middle of the dancefloor, is astonishing. once again i am asking the bbc if this is what they thought they were going to air

9. Cha-cha-cha, Week 4

okay. we are entering the section of the list where everything from here on down pretty much makes me feral. layton is everything in that jumpsuit. the THROW into the SPLITS. the raw sexual dynamism somehow contained within nikita taking layton’s coat for him. unbearable.

8. Charleston, Week 12

off the charts crazy. how can people move like this. they CARTWHEELED across the STAGE for what felt like YEARS. points only deducted for the fact that when nikita cried in the interview afterwards because he loved layton so much he had to do it in this extremely silly outfit.

7. Quickstep, Week 2

they danced the equivalent of a gay leyendecker illustration in week 2. IN WEEK 2 THEY DID THIS. they’re having so much FUN here. and to follow up on the week 1 ranking, the transformation from them feeling like a professional and a celeb to two people actually dancing together happens SO fast. it’s only a week later, but already something’s changed; layton’s totally at home in the routine and nikita’s REALLY enjoying it. it’s just so nice and i love them so much :’) also the quickstep is one of my favourite strictly dances because it’s inherently funny watching grown adults run full-pelt around a room and occasionally do a little skip. perfect 90 seconds of television.

6. Viennese Waltz, Week 3

ok so this is actually one of their lowest scoring dances on the show. but NOT according to my ranking. this ought to feel as faux-dramatic as the vampire tango but it doesn’t. something is HAPPENING between them in this dance and it’s real. i could write paragraphs about the eternities contained within the long, long seconds of them holding each other after it’s over, which goes on for long enough that the editor just has to like. give up and cut away from them. i’ve been linking to the bbc’s youtube clips throughout this post, but if you have access to iplayer i strongly recommend you watch this dance as aired (i have linked to the timestamp for your convenience) in order to see the full effect of this ending. there’s something about the combination of… the sincerity of the dance. the gender of it all. the refusal to break character. nikita’s slightly baffled-looking parents in the audience lending whatever the fuck is going on here a bizarre frisson. i’m completely obsessed with it

5. Jive, Week 7

the first thirty seconds of this dance genuinely make me feel like i’m coming up. overwhelming transition from the sexy sexy opening section (why are they dressed as little sailor boys? why are they touching like that?) into the supercharged beat of the side-by-side. people pay good money to feel like this. as has been pointed out, the jive is not a traditionally racy dance, and my question to nikita as choreographer is: why

4. Showdance, Week 13

cunt. cunt. cunt. cunt. the absolute fucking serve of the matching slutty magician elbow-length gloves. nikita dropping his hat while layton executes everything perfectly. obviously in the finale, homophobia won <3 but my god. they ATE. no notes.

3. Paso Doble, Week 11

i have said this before. but dancing to BACKSTAGE ROMANCE. in a show where i (facetiously) believe they may be experiencing a BACKSTAGE ROMANCE. seems illegal. anyway. this dance is insane. almost worth them being in the bottom two in week 10 in order for them to produce the unbridled energy of this comeback. as a category the paso doble has similarly melodramatic energy to the tango, but this performance is so unlike the slightly campy vampire number; they’re IN it, they’re living and feeling and breathing every moment. something about the mood of this dance, the power dynamics of it, nikita on the floor looking up at layton in awe as he emerges at his absolute fucking fiercest - happening in THIS week, rising above the stress of relegation and the overwhelming tide of online hate, is, like, pretty incredible, tbh. also the series of searingly erotic snapshot poses at the beginning of this routine are among the worst things i have been subjected to on this show, and as you may be gathering from this list, this is a crowded category.

2. Argentine Tango, Week 8

god it was a TOUGH GODDAMN CALL on these top two places. and tbh i think this is actually, truly, their best dance. the sheer SKILL here… whatever the move is where layton has to jump in the air and kick his little leggies around… stunning. i don’t really have a comical paragraph to write about this because i genuinely think it’s an incredible piece of dance and there’s not much more to add to that. however, extra points for the truly unhinged decision to do some dom nikita roleplay at the end? again, please watch this one on iplayer to experience the full unedited effect.

1. Couple’s Choice, Week 9

as i say. probably, technically, the argentine tango is better. but if i think about any element of this routine, i immediately black out. i cannot stress enough that he is standing on his back. he is STANDING. on his BACK. nikita choreographed this dance and he was like. i want you to stand on my back. PLEASE don’t worry about it. watching this routine is like looking into the sun. if i saw two men doing this in the club i would have to politely turn away to respect their privacy. also sorry to do this for a final time but i also need you to watch this one on iplayer because nikita stays on that pole at the end for so much longer than you are expecting and then does something sooooo unnecessary. this dance should be expunged from the internet so that i never have to contemplate it again.

#strictly come dancing #scd #if u knew how long i have spent thinking about this. you would say. don't you have a full-time job? and i would say PLEASE leave me alone

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punkpandapatrixk · 7 months

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Full Harvest Moon in Aries ♦︎ Moon Magick Pick A Card

In my experience, Full Harvest Moon is always significant for those who are more spiritually attuned. This period allows—almost forces, actually—us to die to the previous cycle of our lives much like the trees shedding their leaves. This is a period of slowing down; of calm but maybe also a little bit of depression; of sweeping changes and moving places; of pausing and recalibration; which could cause a sickening sense of losing control of our lives, though in reality, we’re just being prepared for a massive transformation.

If anything, all these changes are the perfect answers to all you’ve prayed for! It’s harvest time for a lot of us! Some of us are having a mini harvest but those are results nevertheless. You’ve done marvellously well to be here right now. And haven’t you grown so much? I’m grateful you’ve made it this far.

Speak into existence your higher intent this Harvest Moon. Be at peace knowing that whatever transpires, everything works out in your favour. Your manifestations are protected, more than you may realise. Work on beautifying all elements of your Life, taking care of all aspects of your physical and spiritual health, and most of all, enjoy Life. All the changes you’ve managed to manifest thus far. There’s plenty more coming but you can’t compete with Destiny, yeah?

All in Divine Timing~🌕Congratulations and happy harvest~🌾

[Masterlist] [Patreon] [Paid Readings]

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

Pile 1 – Returning to the Essentials

intent – Ace of Pentacles

You’ve made it exceedingly clear to the Universe that you want a higher sense of stability in your Life. You might’ve come from a background of poverty mindset or that your environment was brimming with individuals operating on lack mindset. A lot of the people you used to surround yourself with were literal peasants in that they’re always hungry for something more… but won’t work on themselves to become a vibrational match to those higher desires. So, essentially, beggars. Beggars for love, for money, attention, recognition, status, you name it.

There’s nothing wrong with wanting those seemingly unspiritual things, what is a problem is the sense of underserving of those things that people won’t even make the first step towards planting those seeds of manifestation for their own personal fulfilment. Such people only end up with rotten envy, jealousy, spite, bitterness, and even resentment. You saw all of that. Swam in an ocean of such mindsets and tendencies. You finally woke up and said, ‘I want none of that nonsense anymore. None of it is natural. I want out!’

sow – 4 of Cups

So, you ejected yourself from those situations and possibly burnt some bridges. It was better to be alone and work on the essentials. You get to know yourself better that way, all strengths and weaknesses, all opportunities and challenges. You’ve enjoyed learning and studying things that inspire you to continue to build a sparkly Life, right? You’ve worked plenty hard on your own fixing your internal compass, haven’t you? None of that will ever go to waste. You were creating vibrational pathways towards your Highest Possible Intended Destiny. It’s time to begin anew with your visions. Your plans are taking shape. You can see clearly where to step in your next chapter of hustle.

I guess, you’re still feeling like you’re not quite there yet. Or that it feels like your desired reality is taking its sweet time. I guess you could be struggling with dissatisfaction every now and then. Or that certain days you can’t believe the insane level of boredom that suddenly strikes. Sometimes you wonder if there’s any meaning to all this internal hustle you’ve been doing. But there totally is and the fact of the matter is that you’re building strength and momentum at the present moment. I suspect very strongly you’re going to be insanely busy in the next cycle of your Life. Cherish this period. It probably will never come again and soon enough this chapter is only gonna remain a memory you recount sometimes as part of your Life’s Story.

reap – 4 of Wands

And finally, I’m sure you’re already feeling this without anyone else telling you: you’re returning to the essentials. You’ve rediscovered the essence of your being. The styles that suit you. Pursuits that delight you genuinely. These are the few things that truly matter to you and that’s all you want to spend energy on. If in the past you were frantically chasing a few forms of aesthetics or had a number of dreams to pursue, you’ve narrowed everything down to only the essentials—the ones that truly make you feel excited, alive.

Although it feels like returning to your inner child essence, at the same time, you’re not the old you. You’re completely brand new. You’re like a transcendent version of your truer self in the past. It feels strangely nostalgic but also novel. Like you’re holding this inexplicable paradox inside of you. But the truth is, you’ve simply transcended above the duality of light and dark, good and bad. You’re now living in the non-dualistic 5D version of this Earth Matrix. Congrats! You’ve truly awakened! Welcome to 5D Earth, Master Manifestor~!

full moon self-care🔻🌒🌓🌔🌕🌖🌗🌘

Access full reading + cards on Patreon🌸

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

Pile 2 – Your Heart Has the Best Compass

intent – VII The Chariot

First of all, you’re an incredibly intuitive person and to a large extent, I think you’re psychic. You could have one or two of the clairs. Clairvoyance, clairaudience, clairsentience, claircognisance. You are often guided by your intuition to make changes or attempts that may not always look sensible or responsible by other people. But you seem to have disregarded all of other’s expectations or advice. You believed in yourself and decided to pursue something dearly important to your heart. In a manner of speaking, you were following the path of your Destiny, so congrats! You made the right decision. From here on you can only get stronger.

In your physical Reality, I see you experiencing bounds and leaps of good fortune! You don’t need a shooting star to help make your dreams come true now, you are the Star itself. You make what you want come to Light. It’s possible you’re gonna see people in your Reality being more polite, helpful, cuter, kinder, and generally more pleasant. You’d be like, ‘Did I just jump timelines? Is this still the same Earth I’m used to?!’ Well, you quantum jumped into a higher dimension of Reality and you should be proud of all the inner work you’ve done to be in alignment with these higher frequencies!

sow – Knight of Cups

So, this is another water/emotion energy. The Knight here is simply saying you’re ready to take your Life to the next level of happiness—a spiritual variety of contentment whilst living on Earth. I think you want Love? XD You’re beginning to really want what people call ‘5D relationships’. You want to meet your Soul Mates, your Destined Person, your Soul Tribe. You want Love in a peaceful, exciting, creative world. And you’re going to ‘work’ on that. You’ve decided to never let anyone disrespect you for all the weirdness you have to show them. Unapologetic for days. You ain’t afraid to be seen as a bitch, or a weirdo, an alien, or even a villain.

Nevertheless, all that is just the outer package of your person, which is needed to navigate some hardships in Life when they arise. On the inside, you’ve truly become soft, peaceful, content, and I think you’re pretty much happy with where you are in Life now. Out of all the Piles, yours feels most like you’re truly starting something new that you’re passionate about. There’s something you’ve been meaning to do/create/launch which is only needing the right Divine Timing. Once you hit the bell, there’s no snooze button—you’re going on a ride! Life is gonna get super exciting, so stay on your lane because you’re totally on the right path towards changing your Life!

reap – 3 of Pentacles Rx

When your Life finally takes that amazing turn, you’re going to be spoiled by the Universe with a lot of happiness. I’m seeing SO much abundance beyond material means. You’re going to be SO beautiful. I’m seeing a crazy glow up one way or another. Perhaps because now you have access to those things that can support a glow up. New wardrobe. New teeth. New face for some… New country. New house. New everything and you look gorgeous! That said, there are family members or childhood friends who are totally NOT gonna understand your transformation. Yeah… let peasant be peasants if you ask me.

There are those of you who will want to provide for your family/friends with your newfound wealth and if they’re deserving of that, why not? Just please don’t do any of that with the desire to get their approval, and this is especially the case if your family/friends are incredibly toxic. Live for yourself, babe. Share only with those who are deserving. Only you can decide this but ultimately, respect yourself enough to never beg the acknowledgement of those who are already committed to seeing you in a negative light. Never let ANYBODY reduce your accomplishments, transformations, your Light. Never let anybody poop on your parade XD

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Pile 3 – Hand of Fucking Midas

intent – Page of Wands

Okay, in spite of the title, of all the Piles, your energy has a sage vibe to it. I feel like you’ve transformed into a spiritual master of sort. You got away from the Matrix’s rat race. All the riches you used to think you should have in order to feel like you belonged in society have gone out the window. There are so many material things you do not care about anymore. You’ve rediscovered your essence as a spiritual being having a Human experience. It’s all just a Game and you’re going to have the best-value experience whilst being here. You’ve cultivated a mindset of beauty. ‘Nothing is worthwhile if it’s not beautiful.’

You only want to float beautifully until the day you die. The paradox of your existence is that now that you don’t desire anything desperately anymore, everything comes to you ever so effortlessly. Perhaps it really is because you don’t care if it comes to you or not. It’s exactly because you’re free from worries and anxieties that your positive vibrations effortlessly call forth those positive expectations into your energetic field, and surely enough, they manifest in the physical whether or not you really want them. Paradox. Paradox.

sow – 5 of Pentacles

Reiterating the previous message, here is you sowing seeds of nothingness in this world. From nothingness comes everything. If you don’t limit yourself, anything, literally everything, is possible to create. You’ve tapped into the VOID and understood the secret of Co-Creation. Might it be that you’ve had a really strange, esoteric dream recently? I think you could’ve been activated in your sleep. I feel more strongly that this whole developing a Midas Touch was brought about after transmuting a fuckload of personal traumas you’ve accumulated in this incarnation.

You’ve been through all the sides of sorrow and happiness that now you’re clearer as to what kinds of things are truly meaningful for a Human existence. Now you only want the essentials, and those things you consider essentials are concepts still too difficult too grasp for most Humans. Though you do not carry the essence of being Human, you more than them understand what being Human should be all about. It’s insane. It’s all paradoxical. But you’re here on a mission to beautify this realm. To help Mankind elevate themselves above the status of being miserable slaves—slaves often to their own toxic desires. You’ve transcended all of that via your own suffering.

reap – 9 of Pentacles

From here on, there is no more lack. Because you don’t want much anymore. You’ve let go of all the tight grips on the illusions and temptations of the Matrix. Your wants are now purer, kinder, fairer. I feel you want everybody to have also the things that you take for granted. You want everybody to share in the bounty of the natural world easily. ‘There are things in this world that are NOT supposed to be expensive.’ You want everybody to have access to basic needs at a decent level/quality without having to pay for a premium.

All of that said, I think in the future you’re soon going to have your own business that helps improve the lives of your community instead of ruining the ecosystem and making it hard for everybody. If not a business, you could be involved in some sort of invention or revolution that could, well, revolutionise the way many people live, work or approach businesses on their own terms. I think this Pile has the potential to change the world for the better. You may not care that much about such wild dreams for now, for you are currently peacefully enjoying some fruits of your intense spiritual labour thus far.

But it’s coming, baby~ Your train to awesome is coming to pick you up. Just chill~ When Divine Timing strikes, your body is gonna move on its own😉

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stedefxckingbonnet · 6 months

Note

I've been loving all the Izzy/reader fics, thank you so much for them! If you're doing requests, I'd love one where Izzy accidentally hurts the reader. It's 100% by accident (he turns around holding his sword and mildly slices reader, a playful shove accidentally makes reader lose balance and fall down steps type thing etc.). The crew, especially Stede, are furious and won't let Izzy anywhere near reader and he's absolutely wrecked with guilt. Would love a very fluffy ending!

Thank you so much for all of the love and for reading my fics at all!! <3 It truly means everything to me. Thank you so much for this request also—I know some of you have been wanting some more angst from me (with still happy/fluffy endings of course hehe, at least this time...maybe one day I'll try my hand at pure angst but I'm not sure today is that day), so I figured this would be a great prompt to start with on this sort of an endeavor! Plus, I just love it so much anyways, ever since it first came into my inbox I've been thinking about it. Thank you so much again for your request, and I hope you enjoy! Though like I said, please bear in mind I don't have the most experience with emphasis on angst so I apologize if this is not very adherent to that! Anyways, as always, requests are wide open!

Love,

Lavinia

Star-Crossed | Izzy Hands x Reader

Warnings: angst (with a happy ending but it takes a bit to get there), mentions of blood, some strong language, kissing, sort of already established unspoken relationship but also not 100% established right away

Word Count: 3912

Finally, the sun shone once again and not a single cloud was etched into the sky any longer. The crew of The Revenge almost forgot that sunlight even existed and were becoming accustomed to such foggy, grey skies forever—but, finally! Everyone was filled with such jubilee upon the sight and were quick to show it by chasing each other around on the main deck, swinging from ropes, dancing, plotting to convince the captains to grant them all a day on land to bask in the sun's rays—everyone except the first mate. Out of the corner of your eye, you noticed Izzy Hands leaning against the mast pole—no, slumped against it. You excused yourself from the gathering and rushed right over to Izzy, who stood up a bit straighter upon your arrival.

"I'm not going over there."

"You always have to have the first word, don't you?" you teased. "Do you want to, perhaps...get away from all this for a moment?"

"That wouldn't be so bad," Izzy shrugged, following your lead as you scurried off the main deck and into the hallway below that led to the quarters. "What are we doing here?"

You drew your sword from its sheath, smiling playfully. "I've practiced since we last dueled."

Izzy couldn't help but return a grin, fetching his own blade. "Is that so?"

"Why don't you see for yourself?" you inquired as you slashed the air. Izzy bowed impishly, to which you accepted with a curtsy, giggling. Your duels often were much like dances—precise footwork, synchronized, graceful movements across the floor, eye contact—lots of eye contact. The clash of the swords was like music to your ears, but Izzy's exasperated laughter was a much more magnificent melody, though followed next by your own ear piercing scream.

Izzy's worst nightmare had come true—there you were, bent over in anguish, clutching your stomach. Blood was all over your hands as you tried to stop it from gushing out of you. It was a deep cut and you had not actually been stabbed all the way through, though you still were going to need to be patched up sooner rather than later. Izzy's sword slipped out of his hands as he rushed over to you without any hesitation, scooping you up in his arms and placing his hand upon your left side to try and stop the bleeding. He rushed you back up to the main deck, guilt taking over him with such ease. His eyes were glossy, tears threatening to slip out of them.

"Some help over here!" Izzy demanded, and the crew all simultaneously turned their heads. Everyone sprinted to your side the second they heard his call, and saw your state.

"What happened?" Stede asked, his voice wavering.

"I'm okay, Stede," you managed to laugh, followed by a groan of pain.

"Clearly, you are not," Stede sighed. He turned to Izzy, a hand on his hip. "Izzy, what happened?"

"We—we were just dueling, and—"

"You hurt them?!" Jim spat. "Roach, will you—"

"Already on it," he assured them, carefully slinging your arm around him as he dragged you off into the distance.

"I didn't mean to—"

"Not another word, Izzy," Stede shushed him.

"Stay away from them," Lucius hissed as he walked off with Pete. Jim practically shot daggers out of their eyes, and Olu just sort of frowned. Izzy had never felt so defeated in his entire life. He immediately holed himself up in his quarters, draping across his bed almost lifelessly, hoping he would never have to emerge once again, not with the knowledge that he had hurt you so terribly and that the crew thought of him as some sort of monster. He was almost okay with them just being frustrated or annoyed by his presence, but being perceived like this created a deep wound in his heart he never expected to experience. If this is what he gets for truly trusting someone again, showing them a tenderness he had never felt for anyone, he did not want it.

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

Roach got you all patched up in no time and he anticipated your healing time would not last longer than a week, two at the most. You were never too worried in the first place, and as much as you appreciated the crew's care toward you, it felt as though they had blown the situation out of proportion. The first thing you yearned to do as soon as you were free to roam the ship once again was to find Izzy, as you knew he would be worried and probably swimming in his guilt. You nearly ran over to his quarters, though Stede popped out from out of nowhere, startling you.

"Stede! Fuck," you laughed. "You're quite...stealthy."

"I suppose so," he laughed with you. "How are you feeling?"

"Oh, much better. I never really felt too bad in the first place," you beamed.

"Well, that is a relief!"

"Yes," you nodded. "If you'll excuse me, I'm going to see Izzy now—"

"I actually don't think that's very wise."

"What? Why not? He didn't mean to hurt me, Stede—"

"—But he did hurt you—"

"—Hardly, and it was an accident—"

"I will not allow Izzy to see you."

"But—"

Out of nowhere, Jim and Lucius appeared, gently clinging onto your arms but with enough force to drag you away. You kept yelling for them to let you go but it was no use. They would gently assure you it would be for the best—at least, Lucius tried to be more gentle about it.

"You're better off being far away from that fucker," Jim muttered as they brought you back onto the deck. The entire time you squirmed, trying to escape their and Lucius' grasp. "We're going to Spanish Jackie's today."

"Fuck, you're serious? Might I remind you, she almost killed you last time!" Olu sighed out of a deep concern for Jim.

But this was perfect for you—the perfect opportunity to stay on the ship and talk to Izzy. You wouldn't let anyone stop you. Before you knew it, The Revenge had docked, and you had it all planned out. You followed everyone off of the ship, but stopped in your tracks just as you were about to walk off, which caused Buttons to bump into you, though obviously he was unfazed.

"Is everything alri—" Stede started to ask.

"I forgot my book," you feigned a gasp. "I was going to sit on that rock over there and just get lost in it for a bit."

"Well, who am I to stop you from grabbing it?" he smiled pleasantly.

You nodded gratefully and hurried down to the cabins. You knocked on Izzy's doors, knowing he was still in there.

"What is it," he spat.

"Izzy, can we talk?"

The prolonged silence was beginning to cause you to believe that he wanted nothing to do with you, until finally, he swung open the door. "You shouldn't be here."

"Yes, you should not," Stede almost chided, his voice suddenly heard from behind you.

"This is ridiculous!" you cried out as Stede practically forced Izzy back into his quarters and slammed the door shut.

"Let's have a nice day on shore, shall we?" Stede sighed happily. "It's such a beautiful d—"

Before he could finish his sentence, you had already stormed off the ship, and you were having the opposite of a beautiful day. Your heart only ached for the rest of it, yearning for the first mate and to reassure him and to rekindle things, to let him know that all was well on your end. You craved to stop the incessant self loathing and blaming you knew he was putting himself through. Yet all you could fucking do was feign a smile while everyone drank their own sorrows away, some almost even drinking themselves to death.

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

Weeks had passed you by, each day dragging painfully slowly and wasted wondering if they would just end any sooner, wondering if the day where you even got to think of breathing a word to Izzy again would exist and come. The crew still fixated eyes on the both of you, doing everything in their power to keep you away from one another. Jim didn't hesitate to physically drag you away if you even tried to go near him, and Pete would even try to threaten Izzy (to which, Lucius would step in and take over, saying things such as: "You're cute, babe, but I've got this. Not worth your time.")

If you couldn't talk to Izzy, you didn't want to talk to anyone. You were perfectly content sitting by the window of your room curled up with a good book, away from everyone until you absolutely had to be amongst them.

Why couldn't they just listen to you? Why did everything have to be so black and white? Why did it have to be handled this way? Why did it have to be this difficult? Sure, Stede would discourage Jim's literal dragging you away ("Surely there are better ways of handling this...") but he never stopped it. He still stopped you from seeing Izzy.

Finally, you couldn't ignore the fact that you were parched and so you slipped out of your quarters. As you did, you noticed the first mate also exiting his. The two of you stood there for a moment, flabbergasted, taking in one another's presences. You opened your mouth to speak, but Izzy was already shoving right past you. Without thinking, you latched onto his wrist. "Izzy, wait—"

Izzy escaped your grasp instantly, looking vacantly upon you. You prepared something to say once again, but Izzy wouldn't hear any of it. He didn't need to hear from you of all people that he had caused you harm. Or, almost worse—that you didn't hold it against him. He would understand more if you did share the feelings of the crew, but not if you forgave him. The thought made his head spin—fuck, he wanted you to forgive him, he wanted you to know he never meant to cause you any pain. But he knew it wasn't worth it. He knew that as long as you were around, you would be beloved either way and better off without his love and care, and he would be hidden away in the dark from everyone, left to rot and be forgotten about, and when remembered, ridiculed. He almost wished that someone would just berate him directly instead of having to see you every single day and how everyone's attitudes shift when you are within close proximity of each other. How the environment grows more tense. How no one is stating the obvious of not wanting him there. He wasn't stupid, he knew. He knew for a long time before any of this even happened, and it only had gotten worse now.

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

There came a point where you and Izzy were allowed to speak, but only in supervised circumstances. He immediately deemed this not worth it, so, it elt as though you were still forced to succumb to the previous, awful arrangement. It had been almost two months since the initial incident and with every accidental brush of the hands and every almost smile and every stolen glance, your heart only hurt more, you only pined after him even more. You missed the warmth he brought you even on the coldest days. You needed the confirmation of your feeling safe that he was able to provide. The two of you were finally growing almost attached at the hip but now you were torn apart, pieces of yourself still stuck on him and you needed those parts of you back. No, you needed them to exist still, but only if you could properly share them with Izzy.

You couldn't take it anymore.

Every day, you saw the expression that Izzy displayed on his face for all to see—pure misery, regret, and even this sort of grief. This loss for something still there, though, not at all tangible anymore. You became a ghost that didn't even haunt him, but only lingered at the expense of unfinished business with him. He could never comprehend that you longed to speak with him just for the sake of it, for your own enjoyment. That wasn't possible to him, it simply didn't seem in the cards.

You really couldn't take it anymore. You couldn't endure him avoiding you like the plague, even if he was acting on behalf of the crew's wrongful wishes. You couldn't take the way he looked at you with such a hope and desire, yet such a soul-crushing defeat that he gave into ages ago.

"You got a minute, Captain?" you asked Stede as calmly as you could the second you finally forced yourself out of bed for the day.

"Why, of course!" Stede beamed, excited that you were about to confide in him about something.

"We need to talk about Izzy and I."

Stede only sighed, leading you to his own cabin and not saying a word until he was certain the door properly shut. "I am only doing what is best for your safety—"

"Izzy makes me feel safer than anyone on this ship," you confessed. "He is always looking out for me, no matter what. He would never let anything bad happen to me. I was so happy the sun had finally come out and I just wanted to have a bit of fun so I asked Izzy to duel, it's just something we do sometimes for fun. He didn't mean to injure me, but I'm sure he already feels bad enough as it is with you all treating him like he needs to be locked away forever—"

"I appreciate you trying to look out for him. You have always seen the best in people—"

"Stede, is that Romeo and Juliet on your shelf?"

"Why, yes!" Stede nodded, forgetting the true subject of the matter for a moment. "It's such a tragic story."

"Isn't it?" your lips curled into a determined smile. "So sad that the two families kept the young star-crossed lovers away from one another. All because of some sort of unnecessary family feud...Well, they were naïve anyway to think their children wouldn't still find ways to meet and fall even further in love. Maybe if they had been accepting of their love, they wouldn't have died so young and so devastatingly..."

Stede wasn't quite catching on yet. His hand flew to his chest, clearly touched by your sentiments still "It is sad."

"Stede, you are quite literally pulling a Romeo and Juliet on Izzy and I...do you not realize that?"

Suddenly, it all clicked. Stede's mouth practically unhinged from his jaw. "You...you love Izzy?"

"We have...we have a bond and it goes beyond him just trying to do his job. He really does look out for me, and I've really grown to care about him and I worry about him whenever he's off on the side or seems really distressed. Even on my worst days, being around him is enough to almost make me forget about my troubles. I feel so...so at peace when I'm with him. I really don't worry about anything when we're together. And keeping me away from him is really doing a number on me—"

"It was wrong of me to try and keep you two apart," Stede sighed. "I thought I was doing what was best for you, but only you know what is best for yourself. I'm so sorry."

"Thank you, Stede," you smiled slightly. "If I ever really need something, I promise I'll tell you. I don't take "talking it through as a crew" lightly."

Stede returned your smile. "I don't understand this at all...but, this is your own endeavor. We just want you to be happy."

You quickly pat Stede on the back as you bursted out of his room and made haste towards Izzy's. You knocked on his door with utmost urgency. No response. You continued to knock until finally, Izzy had enough and swung open the door, almost causing you to stumble upon entering.

"Izzy, are you alright?"

"Are you?"

"You barely nicked me," you assured him, shutting the door behind the two of you. "Izzy, I am okay. Please, don't feel bad."

"I don't think you should be here right now—"

"But Captain Bonnet said—"

"—Just go...Please."

Your heart was beginning to sink into the depths of the ocean in your chest. You could only manage to look at him—he who had such a glossy look in his eye, accompanied only with an expression of nonchalance. But you could see that he was hurting—you knew by the way he was hunched over and fiddling with his glove. Izzy could hardly look at you without wishing he could disappear. He had hurt you, and everyone went flocking over to you instantly, not even bothering to hear his side of things, nor even yours, where he knew you would have defended him, though you still were acknowledged more than he had been. But worst of all, he had hurt you—and he would never be able to recover from that. Never be able to forgive himself for it. And, he knew no one else would, either. He wouldn't blame you if you didn't, either. You made your way over to him slowly, sitting beside him.

"Look at me," you pleaded.

Finally, Izzy's eyes met with yours. All he could see when he gazed at you was the pure concern, the pure care in your pupils. How could you still care for him after what he had done, and after the crew painted him to be some sort of a villain even more than before?

"I'm okay," you reassured him. "You didn't hurt me. You didn't mean to. I'm the one who started the duel, and—"

"Don't fucking blame yourself. It was me. All me."

"Izzy, please—"

"I think you should leave."

Such a statement felt like a knife through the heart.

But all Izzy truly wanted was for you to engulf him in your arms as he allowed himself to cry against your shoulders. He wanted to apologize and beg for your forgiveness. But it just hurt too much. He felt as though he didn't deserve that. You were the only person who is able to see him for who he is, and even still, he felt as if he didn't deserve you, nor your understanding, nor your fondness.

Part of you somehow knew that Izzy didn't mean what he just commanded you to do—it felt like even further of a plea to stay. You hovered your hand above his arm, and he ever so subtly nodded—yes, please. You began to gently rub his arm, even trying to massage some of the smaller knots out. "I'm not going anywhere, okay? Never. You will never scare me away. It's because of you that I feel so safe—but it's not only that you are an exceptional first mate. You are so much more than that to me."

"But I hurt you."

"You have never hurt me. Ever. Hell, you're the one that picks up the pieces when I do get hurt."

Izzy turned away from you, unable to control the droplets flying out of his eyes now. You could tell he was crying, but you knew not to overdo it with making sure he was alright. You carefully moved in a bit closer to him, resting your head upon his shoulder.

"I never meant to—"

"I know, Iz, I kn—"

"Let me finish," he requested gently. "If not for your conscience, but for mine. I become so afraid of hurting you and of messing up with you that I did. I didn't mean to, but I still did. I'm sorry, is all."

"Izzy, are we talking about the same thing anymore?"

"I don't want you to think I'm a monster, too," Izzy whimpered. "I know...I know I've done some things I'm not proud of. Things I wish you never had to know about."

"But I still love those parts of you. They are parts of you. But, they don't have to define you, either."

"You...what?"

"What?" To say you were confused was an understatement.

"You...love those parts of me?"

"I love you. Dammit, Iz. It's always been you," you sighed, happiness washing over you just as much as woe and a slight worry he wouldn't reciprocate your sentiments had.

"You...what?"

"Is that the only thing you say now?" you laughed nervously.

"I have this instinct I can't fight off and it's to look after you in ways I wouldn't normally look after anyone else. If anything ever happened to you, I'd blame myself, and I have."

"What are you saying?"

"I...think you know."

"I think I do, but maybe I don't—"

"Oh, fuck off!"

"Izzy, I really don't know what you're trying to say—"

"I love you."

You laughed, relief overcoming you. You gently took his hand in yours, stroking his thumb with yours. "This isn't a bad thing, you know. I don't want anyone else. I'm glad it's you, Izzy."

"The crew isn't going to be happy about this—"

"I talked to Stede, and fuck whatever the rest of them think," you shrugged. "What do they know?"

Izzy chuckled, gently pushing a strand of your hair behind your ear with his free hand. "Fuck them."

"Fuck them so much," you laughed as you leaned in, unable to stand the distance between the two of you anymore, and nor could Izzy. The anticipation not only from the abundance of time that passed the both of you by and all you had were glances which you could only hope communicated something, but also since the moment you met and especially since your connection began to blossom, shone through in the kiss shared between the two of you. This moment felt long overdue and you now wanted not to waste anymore precious time—you couldn't afford to. Your heart began to do pirouettes as your lips danced in sync. You had never been so certain about what love could mean for you until Izzy Hands waltzed into your life.

And your touch, your kiss made Izzy feel the most beautiful and understood that he ever had. As he melted into the warmth your affection and his excitement emitted, he no longer felt like a monster but rather a person, someone, worthy of such love and tender care. This wonderful phenomena was only centimeters away from him the entire time he spent withering away and conforming to all other beliefs of his character, believing the slander and the accusations, almost becoming them. With you, he was able to let go of these perils, to escape the shackles restricting him from seeing the person he truly is and could be. To leave the past behind in such a way not reminiscent of denial, but the refusal of allowing it to define him and hold him down. He could care less what the crew thought. For once in his life, he was happy, and no one, nor nothing should even dare to try and take that from him. You surely wouldn't allow anyone to. You were prepared to protect him just as he continued to do for you. And as long as you were around, happiness wouldn't escape him. Not anymore.

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witchthewriter · 1 year

Photo

𝐁𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐉𝐨𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐚 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐨𝐧'𝐬 𝐬/𝐨 𝐚𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐛𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐥𝐮𝐝𝐞

⤷ gender neutral, ambiguous race, and any size reader. Requests are open, thank you for reading!

Warnings: swearing, major mentions of death and violence, spoilers, death of children, mental illness, mentions of previous torture.

a/n: with the hunger games resurgance, I want to continue writing for these characters. I absolutely loved this series so much, it was an innate part of my teenage years.

ᴹᵃˢᵗᵉʳˡᶤˢᵗ

🌿ESTP 🍁Slytherin 📜Chaotic Neutral 🔮Scorpio Sun, Aries Moon, Aries Rising

𝑻𝒉𝒆𝒎𝒆 𝑺𝒐𝒏𝒈:

Dance Me To The End Of Love by The Civil Wars (they featured on the song with Taylor Swift in the first movie)

𝑺𝑭𝑾🌿

・You were never reaped, and never knew the personal/immediate experience of having to kill someone. However, your oldest brother was in the Hunger Games, a few years after Johanna. So, you knew the pain of losing a loved one.

・Helping each other transition into a world where the Hunger Games no longer exists

・In a world where the Capitol doesn’t rule with an iron fist

・After the events of Coin’s death, Katniss and Peeta go to district 12 to live out their days in peace

・Johanna still plagued by the torture and trauma she endured, didn’t know what to do.

・No family, no friends, so she hid herself in the apartment that Commander Paylor gave to her (all living victors were given an apartment. But the catch was that they had to go through therapy)

・Johanna refused to go to the appointments. She was adamant that it was stupid, it wouldn’t help.

・And she drowned in her own sadness

・It took her 3 months to begrudgingly go to an appointment

・It was a group therapy session. Katniss and Peeta weren’t there as they lived in District 12 and didn’t live off of Paylor’s generosity

・It was a small group, and when Johanna looked around at the other victors, she saw herself. Hurt. Broken...the feeling of something that was taken and they could never get it back

・You were apart of the healers. Not a therapist, but a protegee underneath Ms Everdeen - yes, Katniss’ mother

・She shined in the Capitol; given the best treatment for everything she suffered

・And you were lucky enough to be her assistant.

・Learning the art of healing wasn’t easy

・But the opportunity was too good to let pass by

・Ms Everdeen was a quiet woman, but when she taught, there was a light that began to shine. With each comment, lesson, tutorial and experience - she began to glow and glow.

・But you soon learnt that bringing up either of her daughters was... bad. Her light dimmed whenever their names were mentioned; even talking about the plants was difficult for her.

・She loved Prim, her youngest who looked like her. Who never judged her, only had love in her heart for everyone. Katniss was so distant, it felt like a death

・Johanna felt safe with Ms Everdeen. It was an interesting dynamic. She somewhat... stepped into a maternal role for the young victor. A role that Johanna desperately wanted filled but would never admit

・That’s how you met Johanna; in all her hardened exterior. Someone unloved but not unlovable.

・Your relationship started off very clumsily; she saw you as another therapist - therefore an enemy.

・You didn’t take much of a liking to her either

・It was a conscious effort to be curteous

・And Ms Everdeen pushed you toward Johanna

・Call it a mother’s intuition

・And that intuition spurred a tight friendship. Johanna eased into your company (not without a fight)

・You showed her moments into your world and in response, she displayed glimpses into her own

・And then you formed a tight bond. Best friends. Always doing things together, eating, spending all your free time with her

・You even inspired her to go to the therapy appointments

・And although there were a few hiccups along the way, Johanna started to heal

・From then on she wanted to know what this new world had to offer

・ You both explored what the new Panem was, how Paylor had changed the old ways into something new. A united nation, where everyone reaped the benefits of food, shelter and safety.

・There were no games after the rebellion. Paylor made sure of that:

“We didn’t let people sacrifice their lives for a world where we go on sacrificing. We are one now. Panem will never be the same.”

・Now with a new sense of freedom, you saw a change in Johanna. You knew what it was - hope

・This newfound hope made Johanna realise that ... she could do whatever she wanted. There wasn’t a reason why she couldn’t. She had survived.

・The very next hour, she had walked right up to you and kissed you fiercely

・It wasn’t the best place to snog; right in front of Ms Everdeen, but when you pulled apart you glimpsed over at her and saw her smile

・Being with Johanna is like the like winter. Having a fire to keep yourself warm is cosy but when it gets out of hand - it will leave you with nothing but ashes.

・You moved in together, a three bedroom apartment that wasn’t too far from Ms Everdeen’s place. You both felt too guilty leaving her.

・Once there was a time that you invited Peeta and Katniss to come and stay, but Peeta wrote back that Katniss wasn’t ready.

・As a partner, Johanna is hot-headed but also playful and teasing

・She loves ruffling your feathers (never too much though, she never wants to push you away)

𝑹𝒆𝒍𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒑 𝑻𝒓𝒐𝒑𝒆𝒔

Complete And Utter Badass, Rather Monstrous (Johanna) x Their Ray Of Light Who Has Them Wrapped Around Their Finger (You)

Confident & Flirty (Johanna) x Has Never Been Flirted With Before, Thinks They're Just Being Nice (You)

Snarky Power Couple That Can, And Probably Will, Destroy You

𝑹𝒐𝒎𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒄 𝑷𝒍𝒐𝒕 𝑻𝒓𝒐𝒑𝒆

You Make Me Want To Be A Better Person

𝑯𝒆𝒓 𝑷𝒆𝒕 𝑵𝒂𝒎𝒆 𝑭𝒐𝒓 𝒀𝒐𝒖

At first it was your last name. She would say it with such coldness, and unkindness. A forced tone that she used. On the outside she hated you, and yet on the inside... she had a burning passion for you. Through the progression of your relationship, you could tell how she felt about you with how she said your last name.

𝑯𝒆𝒓 𝑳𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝑳𝒂𝒏𝒈𝒖𝒂𝒈𝒆

Acts of Service and Quality Time.

Johanna hates all that sappy lovey-dovey talk, and she’s still healing with the aspect of physical touch. So the way she shows her affection is through doing things for you and spending time with you. And then she starts to do those little signs of affection; kisses on the cheek, moving hair out of your face, wiping any food from your mouth etc. PDA is pretty much a no no. But when someone tries ANYTHING with you, then she will kiss you so hard, showing that you’re hers. She’s very protective ... well possessive, over you.

𝑵𝑺𝑭𝑾 🔞minors dni!

・The first few times you had sex with Johanna, it was angry sex. The kind where you barely kiss each other, and the headboard is banging, and it doesn’t last too long. Then afterwards it’s not spoken about

・It was difficult, in all honesty. Because you felt used

・But Johanna was trying to hide a part of herself. A deeper part that she’s hidden behind a wall of imenetrable steel. A wall only she can knock down.

・So it took time -

・But in that time, you expressed your discomfort at the lack of a deeper connection

・And your relationship was put on hold for a bit until Johanna could open up to you.

・Your relationship progression made sex more and more softer, intimate, slower.

・She wasn’t so rough

・And you realised she would barely kiss you during sex. But now, with her walls down, she couldn’t stop kissing you

・Johanna’s lips were warm, but still with an edge of savagery. Nips here and there, she loves leaving marks, bruises, and hickies.

・She likes leaving them where other’s can see -

・Johanna needs people to know that you’re taken

・A big thing with her is foreplay. She loves making you whine, beg for more.

・SHE LOVES TO TEASE

・Sex toys? Yes. Vibrators, strap ons, dildos, anal beads etc. She would own the lot (and you guys keep everything in your ‘sex’ drawer)

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nohoney · 5 months

Text

briefly back on my hunger games au

you’re expected to attend a banquet to meet fellow victors from the past hunger games, but you’ve yet to leave the tub. the water is lukewarm, your hair is slightly damp, and you keep your knees hugged to your chest.

the capitol had the most lavish washrooms you had ever been in. the new house you occupy in the victor’s village is much less opulent, but it’s a huge different from the small cottage that you had grown up in. the water from the faucet is instantly warm when you turn it on and although the resource of it is endless for a victor who has taken residency in the village, there’s still the habit of being conservative that you can’t shake off.

your quality of life has improved but your mental well being had deteriorated.

when you used to play in the lake as a child, you loved swimming underneath the surface and trying to test how long you could hold your breathe. now since the near death experience in the hunger games, impulsively jumping in after bakugou when he tried to make you the victor, you could barely stand to dunk your head in the bathwater.

there’s too much space around you, the ceilings too high, and you miss the creaky wooden floors of your cottage. it felt unfamiliar to walk on gorgeous wooden floors that made no sound and it was chilly to walk on the marble of certain rooms.

you hadn’t felt like yourself since returning from the games, though part of that could be contributed to the tranquilizers you were prescribed. the doctors had put you through hell trying to find the right one that kept you the least agitated and able to function, but without bad side effects like losing your appetite or having crying fits out of nowhere.

there’s a knock on the door that startles you, your reaction at least much calmer since you have gotten used to the new medication. you feel like you know who is on the other side, you know why they’re coming to fetch you, and you know that you should be getting ready.

hugging your knees tighter to your chest, you muster up your voice to allow the person on the other side to enter.

keigo enters the room but lifts a hand upon still seeing you in the claw foot tub, turning his head away so that he catches no glimpse of you. “(name), we need to get going soon. there’s a lot of things that we need to do and very little time to do them.” he informs you, blindly searching for one of the neatly folded towels on the countertop. “we gotta head to the capitol.”

“do i have to? can’t you just keep on saying that i’m not used to the meds yet?” your voice is so small, becoming shaky at the thought of having to step foot out of the tub. to step foot out of his unfamiliar home into an even more unfamiliar life that you don’t think you will get used to. “please?”

keigo unfolds the towel, holding it up so that it acts as a barrier between you and him. “i’m sorry, i did try. but we’re no longer in a position to hold off the festivities, they’re waiting for you and bakugou.”

your heart jumps upon hearing his name. at the arena, when it was just you and him, you could still remember how vividly your fellow tribute had looked at you. the childhood friend you had known forever, speaking so softly and reassuring you that keigo would take care of you. bakugou had never give you such a tender look before until that moment.

since the two of you had become victors, he had only gotten colder. not to you, but to everything around him. unlike you being uncomfortable to the new life given to you, he seemed to be resentful.

“we already did the interviews and the parades after we won, why do we have to do more?” you question with more bitterness than you intend to.

“i’m sorry,” keigo knows that there’s not much he can offer but a gentle tone to comfort you, “but you’re not alone in this. c’mon, get dressed.”

your body moves as if you’ve got weights attached to your limbs, standing up from the tub, water trickling down your body that you’ve inspected too many times since returning. the towel is wrapped around your body and keigo is quick to turn his back so give you your privacy. he leaves you alone rather quickly.

when you dress in the clothes set up by your mother, you step into the dining room to find keigo and bakugou waiting for you. your fellow victors, both of whom you feel very confused about now.

keigo looks at you the same way he always does, with a soft affection that had always made you feel safe.

bakugou is a little more shy, the public unveiling of the feelings he has for you has made him a bit more stand-offish.

the capitol had labeled the three of you in a love triangle, demanding to define what you feel to who. it was hard enough breaking the rules of the games, ending with two victors instead of one, but this new dynamic added a more complicated layer of how to navigate your new life.

“um… i guess i’m ready to go.” you announce awkwardly, unsure who to look at, “there’s a lot to do right?”

“there is, but remember that all of us have to stick together.” keigo approaches you, pulling out your medication bottle from his pocket and only taking out one pill for you, “remember to take this with food, okay? don’t take it on an empty stomach like you did last time.”

as much as the meds kept you calm, you also didn’t like how they made you feel. you recognize how sensitive you had become since returning home and although they were helping you, you also no longer felt like yourself.

you look at keigo, admiring how he always looked so sweet before, always handsome that the girls in the district were fond of. and when he was chosen as a tribute for his games, he was a favorite from just his looks alone. pretty blond hair swept back with even prettier eyes, you wondered why he wouldn’t settle down with another beautiful girl.

he kisses your forehead gently, a gesture that was done back then even as kids, one that you never thought twice of until people were whispering around you that he had romantic feelings for you. it was always innocent before, it was comforting, and it still was in a way but now it loomed over you with a deeper implication that the older victor had not bothered to define.

truthfully, you’d rather not know… at least for now.

when you glance over at bakugou, he looks away quickly and your cheeks burn. you could swear that he looked a little jealous but you also know that he wouldn’t admit it out loud, probably not even if he had a knife to his throat. but he was there with you, he was in the bed next to you when you woke up from almost drowning in the rushing waters. you remember how he was still passed out with his hand hanging off the bed, and you had reached for him hoping to confirm that he was alive with you.

keigo leaves first to ensure that everything is on track for the newest event to attend, already seasoned from his past few years of attending. this year was different since they were accommodating two new victors instead of one, so he was playing the vigilant eye for you and bakugou.

“how are you feeling?” you ask him, choosing to stand a respectable space away, “i’m… kinda nervous.”

“yeah, me too.” bakugou agrees, shoving his hand into his pants pocket, “not looking forward to this.”

“you never look forward to anything.” it’s a poor attempt to lighten the mood, but it does manage to crack out a small amused noise from him. the small moment is gone quickly though. before when you were nervous, you used to hang onto bakugou’s arm and use him to anchor you.

you felt reluctant to rely on that old method.

but as you board the train to go to the capitol, you desire to have both of them close. to have some semblance of the old dynamic of life before the games. your anxiety rises and you take the pill, forgetting the reminder keigo gave you to take it with food.

#bakugou x reader #bakugou katsuki x reader #hawks x reader #takami keigo x reader #hunger games au

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slptkns · 1 year

Note

Can I have Poly sleep token x reader smut that has no one allowed to cum inside the reader but vessel and he gets so possessive over it once he cums he will already you somehow even wider to make sure it’s there and the others will look with him too jealous that they aren’t allowed to experience that and it just has vessel smirking his ass off (idk what came over me but yeah hope you enjoy lmao!)

OMG I TRIED TO ANSWER THIS YESTERDAY AND THE WHOLE ANSWER WAS FUCKING SENT TO THE SHADOW REALM SO I HAD TO REWRITE IT! I hope this answer is good though! I had so much fun writing this one!

Warnings: 18+ MINORS DNI! Nasty raunchy, porn with literally zero plot, unprotected sex

A/N: UNDER THE CUT BECAUSE IT'S INSTANTLY NASTY LMAO. I tried to make this as gender neutral as possible! Like it's not specific 'hole' wise LOL.

Your eyes cut to Vessel and you paused. Vessel would always ask, and your answer was always the same. But, you felt comfort in knowing he always asked.

You were sprawled out on the bed, sticky from sweat and cum. Your breathing was ragged and your chest heaved. With eyes stuck on the slow moving ceiling fan you tried to calm your breathing.

“Think you’re up for another round?”

“Yes…” You nodded.

II almost went feral. His eyes widened and stepped forward, completely ignoring Vessel, who was sitting right beside you.

The four of them had a routine. After the foreplay, III and/or IV would get you first. They were softer, a little more gentle with you. While they all made sure you were comfortable in everything they did, III was the most careful with that. He was goofy and loved loving you. IV was soft in a more chilled out sort of way. He was taking his time with you and was slightly more serious than III.

II, on the other hand… He got excited very easily. II always got you second to last. The roughness was something you would look forward to. You liked the soft and sweet and slowness of III and IV, but II always hit different. He was definitely the most likely to throw you around and rail you until you were seeing stars. The balance was something you quite enjoyed.

Your eyes cut from Vessel and towards II. Vessel, smirking to himself, grabbed your hand for a moment, rubbing circles on the back of it with his thumb. And then II reached you and you were pulled up from the bed and flipped onto your stomach.

Vessel released your hand, and instead opted for rubbing your back. He was not going to leave your side. Not because he didn’t trust the others, he just had plans of his own.

Cheek against the mattress and ass in the air, you waited for II’s next move. II angled himself and easily pushed into you. A soft mewl escaped your lips and your fingers intertwined with the covers.

“Look at you…” Vessel purred in your ear, “Taking him so well.”

You bit your lip and let out another cry of pleasure. Vessel couldn’t help but give you a toothy smile, so proud of how well you were doing with all of them. Your eyes shut tight and Vessel’s fingers ghosted over your knuckles, that were absolutely turning colors from the grip on those sheets.

II kept a steady, rapid pace. One that wasn’t too fast, but definitely quicker than anyone else’s. The sound of skin hitting skin echoed through your room. All eyes were on you, everyone watched as II made you come undone for, what felt like, the umpteenth time that night.

It didn’t take much to really lose it. A soft mewl turned into you crying out for II as your entire body tensed and shook. You were so sensitive already, it did not take much to cum. Tears pricked your eyes and your breathing picked up again.

“Oh, my love~” Vessel sat up as he spoke, “You look so beautiful taking his cock. But you’ll look even better taking mine.”

II let out a growl, and his pace picked up, sloppy and fast. Vessel grabbed II’s forearm and gave him a look. It was enough to slow II down. He pulled out of you and pumped himself for a second, before releasing onto your back. A quiet moan came from II and you couldn’t help but smile a little bit.

The hold you had on them was something that could not be fucked with, ad you knew it..

And then, you remembered, it was finally Vessel’s turn. When they were all with you, Vessel always, always got you last.

“Are you ready, love?”

You only nodded at him. Vessel was slow to flip you back over on your back. You would definitely have a mess to clean up tomorrow… But you would worry about that tomorrow.

Vessel angled your hips upwards, and let you lie there on your back. You closed your eyes and steadied your breathing. When you reopened your eyes, II, III, and IV were standing closer, watching you and Vessel with intense eyes.

Vessel slowly pushed inside of you and when he pulled back out, your hips instinctively chased his. He smirked down at you and kept going.

Vessel was always a nice medium between II, II, and IV. They all loved and fucked you differently, and you loved them for that. Vessel was in control, even if you or the others felt they were, it seemed to be him every time. He was easily able to flip any situation, taking back any control he may have previously given to someone else.

“Look at me, love,” Vessel’s voice was low and gruff, “I want you to watch me.”

“Can’t even see your eyes-” You quipped back at him.

Vessel responded with a thrust and you moaned out, your eyes already having trouble staying on him. But, you obeyed as best you could.

Once again, there was just the sound of skin on skin. Your skin on fire from the stares of your boyfriends. Vessel leaned over you and began to groan. His noises were soft, quiet, and low, but fuck were they hot.

When he let out a soft whimper you could feel another orgasm coming. You cried out for Vessel, and your toes curled. One of his hands grabbed your thigh and he threw your leg over his waist. He kept going and you bucked your hips. Your back arched and you threw your head back.

Your thighs muscles clenched and you were wrapped around Vessel, keeping him deep inside of you. He moaned out words you couldn’t comprehend from seeing stars, and you felt him cum inside of you.

He fucked his cum into you and he smiled against your collarbone. When he finally moved, you were left on the bed and he crouched in front of you. You knew what was coming, but every time your body responded the same way.

Chills ran up your spine, hair standing on end, as Vessel’s hand landed on your thigh and pulled your legs apart. His cum was slightly running down your thigh and you peeked up at him. He was smirking at II, III, and IV.

He was saying something to them, but not aloud. They would keep some words between just the four of them, and by how Vessel was smiling something was being said. II, III,and IV looked at you and back at Vessel, their eyes dark and full of what you could only assume was jealousy. Jealousy from Vessel being the only one allowed to cum inside of you.

They never argued about it, not out loud at least. You were sure II, III, and IV would say something if it was that big of a deal. But at the moment? It caused jealousy and something to stir inside of them.

Vessel looked at you with a cheshire smile and you sat up, resting on your forearms, completely aware they were still staring at your lower half. You cocked a brow at him.

“They said you look so good with my cum dripping out of you.”

“They did not say that!” You fell back on the bed and laughed. “They did not fucking say that!”

Vessel pouted at you, “They may have said other things, but they did say that.”

“Okay. I’m too tired to argue. Would someone like to help me clean up?”

#sleep token smut #sleep token fanfiction #sleep token vessel x reader #sleep token ii x reader #sleep token iii x reader #sleep token iv x reader #ask #anon #answered

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saintjosie · 2 months

Note

I got shadow banned for calling out the ceo on his bullshit lol im 100% done with this shithole site its too late to undo the hostility towards us imo

you are so incredibly valid. leaving just because you need to for whatever reason is really important and always valid.

but from my own experience with choosing to leave spaces on the internet, i think it’s worth taking an extra second to review the things you like about any given platform that offers online community.

i’ve been doing tiktok for almost four years now and i’ve considered deleting everything and leaving so many times because of how badly trans people are treated on tiktok. i’ve spent hours deleting and blocking hate comments and dms. seen my friends get banned while nazis and terfs are allowed to stick around. (no tiktok ceo dming trans people though that’s pretty special to tumblr)

but taking a second to think about the good things that i get out of tiktok helps me take a second away from the immediacy of an emotional situation and have some clarity. i have met so many people from tiktok (and i even met my gf on tiktok). i have learned so much about myself, about queerness, about anti-racism, about disability. it helps me stay informed on what’s going on in the world.

and anytime i think about deleting tiktok, i try to take a step back and consider all of it - the good, the bad, and how much it’s all worth to me. and who knows? i may delete tiktok at some point because at that moment its just the thing i need to do.

but especially now more than ever, i think it’s important to consider the value of staying connected because we are losing places for trans people to exist on the internet period. the drama here on tumblr is unfortunately just another example of what’s happening everywhere else too. other platforms might be less loud and a lot smarter about it than the way the tumblr ceo is going about things (except for twitter cause lol elon) but they’re all doing the same thing - oppressing trans voices and doing nothing to protect us.

but on every single one of these platforms, including twitter, trans people stick around and continue to be visible and connect people to community, because our community knows the value of community. there is absolutely value in a ton of people leaving a platform to take a stand but doing so without organizing or having another place to go could be disastrous.

you very well may read this and decide that it does not at all apply to you, and if you’ve had clarity all along, that’s awesome! you should do what you need to do without hesitation. but if not, i hope some of this will help you consider what is best for you!

#long post

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luvpedropascal · 2 years

Text

andante, andante (18+)

Pairing: Javier Peña x afab!Reader

Warnings: virgin!reader, age gap, fingering, oral sex (f and m receiving), kissing

A/N: Virginity is a construct and the reader has been nervous about their virginity for a while! Hopefully through writing Javi I can help more people realize that you don’t have to ‘lose’ all aspects of it in one night. Javi is very sweet and patient so prepare your hearts.

One night, after far too many refilled martinis and a conversation that strayed far from your workplace happenings, you had managed to accidentally blurt out to Javier that you liked him. You didn’t even realize what you had said in the moment — not until there was a small smile pulling at his lips and he was asking, “Let me take you out to dinner than. Tomorrow, maybe?”

Before that first date, you had a grueling crush on him for months. How couldn’t you? He was the older, handsome, polite agent who didn’t just brush you off and send you out for coffee like the others did. The internship you had taken had proven to be quite boring and you weren’t getting half of the experience you were promised, but Javier did his best to let you in on what he could.

Nothing could have prepared you for how sweet and gentle Javier was in your relationship. From the first date, he was the biggest gentleman, never pushing you to do anything, always giving you the space you needed. After a particularly handsy make out session when you told him you didn’t have much experience, if any, he had assured you that the two of you could take it as slow as you needed.

Javier really liked you. He wanted you to feel safe your first time — feel comfortable and cared for. In the past, he’d driven head first into sex, but that was all meaningless sex. With you, he was hooked. He wanted you for as long you’d take him.

He doted on you, completely and wholeheartedly. When you had asked him to come over earlier that night, he had arrived bearing two bags of food from your favorite restaurant in town, as well as a box of the tea you mentioned you wanted to try a few days ago.

You had ended up in Javier’s lap quickly after eating, his hands on your hips warm as he smiled up at you, listening to every word you had to say between soft, stolen kisses. Unlike everything in his life, you were stable — stable in the way you laid in his lap practically every night, playing with the curls at the nape of his neck and subtly reminding him that you were there.

He wanted you bad. Obviously, he wouldn’t act until you were ready, but hearing you squirm in his lap as he kissed you tonight had him overwhelmed. The two of you had done nothing more than what you could call heavy petting, but even the noises you made during that had him losing his mind.

When your hips met his in a slow grind and you whimpered out that soft “Javi” he had to pull back from you to prevent himself from getting too worked up. He didn’t want anyone else to call him by his nickname again, not after hearing the way you called it so sweetly.

“Baby, I think we should slow down,” he breathed out, fingers stroking your arm gently, grounding himself and you. He was flushed, cheeks a little red and breath moving a little quicker — just the sight of him so disheveled made you laugh. Javi had been abstaining all this time with you, so even this could get him worked up.

The sound of your giggle pulled at his heart, like everything you did, and he looked absolutely devastated. “Can we keep going? Just, you know, step by step.. See what happens,” you asked.

Javi took in a breath, thumb stroking your cheek gently as he smiled devilishly, “I can tell you what’ll happen, cariño, but I don’t want to be a tease.”

You laughed softly, swatting at his chest and kissing him again like it was the easiest thing in the world. When you pulled away, your eyes were a little bit darker, more serious.

“I want this, Javi. I mean, if you want it too,” you murmured and he looked almost offended for a split second, “If I want it? Fuck, baby, I want you so bad, you have no idea. But it’s not about me, it’s about you. Do you know what you want? What you’re ready for?”

Your cheeks felt hot all of a sudden and he noticed your pause, “Or we can just pick up where we left off and see what happens. Don’t want you overthinking this, baby.”

Javi’s hands fell back to your hips and he nudged your nose with his own, making you smile again and slotting his lips over yours in a soft, yet hungry kiss. Your hands on his jaw were so warm, fingertips just barely grazing his neck. He felt you part your lips for him, a silent request for him to take the lead, and he happily obliged, the taste of you making him groan softly.

His back was sliding down the couch as your intensity shifted, your hips beginning to rut into his again in that deliciously slow way.

“Fuck, baby,” Javi whispered, kissing your chin first before leading a hot trail of kisses down your neck. Your soft gasps had him growing in his pants fast and when you gripped his shoulders for stability, trying to grind faster, he cursed under his breath again.

Your hands were tugging at the fabric of his shirt and Javi nipped at your collarbone just enough to get another pretty sound out of you.

“Please, can I take this off?” Was what you asked, and he was pulling his thin t-shirt off within seconds. Gently, he laid you down on the couch, smiling down at you when you took a second to wiggle around and find a comfortable position.

The sight of him hovering over you like this, tan skin glowing under the soft light of the lamp across the room and just so broad above you, had you squirming again. He was looking at you with so much affection, like if he didn’t kiss you or feel you soon, he’d light up in flames.

But if this was as far as the two of you would ever go, Javi would die a happy man. Seeing you like this, absolutely radiant beneath him, was all he needed.

“Mi vida,” he murmured, the tip of his nose tracing the bridge of yours, “You’re so beautiful.”

He watched your eyes fall to his lips out of shyness before you were wrapping your arms around him again, pulling him into another kiss. You smiled into the kiss when you felt his hands slip under your shirt just a little bit, his fingers warm against your skin. Sitting up, you pulled your shirt up and off, barely breaking the kiss as you did.

Javi groaned out as his head fell to your chest, “So pretty, baby.” His lips traveled all over your chest and stomach, leaving small marks in his favorite spots subconsciously, which left you pretty much covered in love bites. Your hands fell to his hair, playing with it gently as you watched him crawl further down, even worshipping the sides of your hips.

When he looked back up, your heart jumped with how soft his eyes looked. “Can I take these off?” he asked, tugging gently at the hem of your shorts.

You nodded, pushing a stray curl out of his eyes. He pulled your shorts down slowly, giving you time to back out and leaving soft kisses on each new inch of skin exposed. Once they were off, he smiled again, his lips pressed to your inner knee, “Look at you.”

Opening your eyes, you looked down at him a little breathless. Just those kisses to your thighs and hips had you worked up and aching for him. He was taking his time, marking your inner thighs and holding them apart gently when they started to shake a little bit.

“Javi please.. I- Do something, anything. Please, I’m ready,” you whimpered and he looked up at you, his eyes hooked on your lips, which were puffy from all the kissing.

He nodded after a second, “Okay, baby. I’ve got you.”

Still, he was going to take it slow, as to not overwhelm you. He climbed back up to you so he could kiss you, silently thanking you for trusting him, and his hand brushed your thighs, barely ghosting over your clothed center. He could feel the heat radiating off of you when he gently cupped you, pressing his forehead to yours as he started to slowly rub you through the fabric of your underwear.

The softest whimper fell from your lips and you leaned into him more, hands clutching his shoulders. His hand was so big against you, fingers light as he worked you up slowly. You had never been touched like this before and it was starting to drive you crazy quickly. The already damp fabric of your underwear was becoming more and more ruined by the second.

Javi could smell you, and it was driving him crazy. If you let him, he’d taste you tonight — take you apart and put you back together as many times as he could. He looked into your eyes as he asked, “Can I take these off, baby?”

You nodded through a soft whine and his heart swelled as he pulled your underwear down your legs, seeing the way your heat was glistening for him. He cursed under his breath, burying his face in the softness of your stomach before looking back up at you, eyes absolutely devastated , “Prettiest thing I’ve ever seen, you know that?”

Despite your need for him, you laughed softly, reaching down to stroke his hair again. He leaned into your touch, kissing your palm gently before lacing his fingers through yours, “Can I use my mouth, amor? We can stop whenever you want, you just say the word.”

As much as you were nervous about how you tasted or smelled and whatnot, you needed him more and you knew he’d take care of you, so you nodded gently, “Go ahead.”

Javi found himself between your thighs, spreading them gently with his shoulders and keeping his hand entwined with yours on your stomach. He kissed and nibbled at your thighs again, inching closer to your center. His kisses were open, tongue peaking out and tasting your skin, suckling gently at the sensitive skin at the crease of your hip.

Then he was looking up at you, gauging every reaction as his lips and tongue found their way home. You were so vocal, a mess of whimpers and soft moans as his tongue swirled over your sensitive clit. Your free hand was in his hair, holding him down desperately and begging him for more, even though you could barely think straight.

“Javi- Fuck, that’s so good,” you cried out, letting your head fall back against the pillows.

The taste of you had him moaning against you, mumbling quiet praises to you as you writhed under him. His free hand came up, thumb circling your clit as his tongue dipped to prod at your entrance. He could taste you even better this way and he nearly stopped to take it all in, but he didn’t want to forgo your pleasure.

He gave your hand a squeeze, “You want my fingers, baby?”

You nodded quickly and he chuckled at how eager you were, giving your clit a gentle kiss before letting one finger dip inside you slowly. Immediately, you were trying to buck your hips up, your lip pulled between your teeth as you melted back against the pillows again.

He curled his finger inside of you at the end of each stroke, his tongue finding it’s place against your clit again. One finger became two and soon you were tightening around him, thighs shaking and trying to close around his head as you cried out a little, “M’close.”

Javi didn’t stop for a second, keeping his pace steady, right where you liked it until you were gushing around his fingers, calling his name so sweetly again. Your chest heaved with your orgasm, legs quivering when he finally pulled away with a boyish grin on his lips. He didn’t pull back far, leaving kisses all over your thighs as he whispered, “You taste so fucking good cariño, I thought I was gonna lose it.”

Your eyes were closed, cheek pressed against the velvet of the pillow beside you, the softest smile forming as you came back to reality. When you opened your eyes, Javi was crawling back up to you and kissing you deeply, his big hand cupping face so tenderly. His kiss was hungry, devouring you in the most Javi way possible.

He didn’t expect anything more from you, and you could feel that in the way his lips weren’t asking you for more, just drinking you in and enjoying this moment with you. But you could feel the swell of him against your thigh, straining in his pants, and you wanted to make him feel just as good he made you feel.

“Javi,” you muttered between kisses, “Let me make you feel good..”

His forehead found yours and he stopped for a second, taking a deep breath, “You don’t have to, baby.”

“I want to,” you whispered, kissing his full lower lip chastely, “Just need you to show me how.”

Javi was almost embarrassed by how much your words turned him on. You couldn’t help it, but the way you asked him to show you — to guide you, had him throbbing against the seam of his pants.

He gave you a small nod, smiling almost shyly as he sat up. You followed him, sinking to your knees by the edge of the couch and asking, “Can I use my mouth?”

Brain backfiring for just a second, Javi took in the sight of you like this, on your knees for him and asking if you could suck him off.

“Fuck- Come up here, cielito. I’ll show you how,” he groaned, laying down flat in the couch and spreading his legs to make room for you. Underneath you, he was the most disheveled you’d ever seen him — all messy curls and kiss bitten lips — and you loved it.

Your hands settled on his belt buckle and looked up at him for approval, giggling when you saw him smiling up at you like a dork.

“Look at you, trying to get into my pants already,” Javi chuckled, reaching up to the cup the back of your neck and bring you in for a soft kiss, “Go ahead.”

Leaning back, you undid his pants and started to pull them down along with his boxers. He hissed a little bit, his cock painfully hard when it slapped up against the softness of his lower stomach. You laid down between his thighs, nuzzling them gently and pressing a soft kiss to every freckle you could find while you waited for Javi’s instruction.

He sat up a little bit, just to see you better, and brushed a hand over your hair, “Do whatever feels right, baby, and I’ll tell you what feels good, okay?”

You nodded, just a little dazed from all of this, and led your kisses closer to his cock. Lips hot and open now, you let your tongue trace the line of his hip bone, looking up at him to see his reactions.

The softness of your actions made Javi’s heart ache; he never thought he could want someone so bad, in so many different ways. For the first time in his life, he was desperately fighting the urge blurt out an “I love you.” But he knew he couldn’t — not now at least. Not when all of this was already so new to you.

Your lips found his cock and you kissed up from the base slowly, your lips so warm and soft that just that had Javi gripping the couch beneath him. He wanted to close his eyes, but he wouldn’t dare miss this, at least not the first time.

When you reach his tip, your lips parted and you took him in, suckling on him lightly and drawing a low moan from Javi. He pushed your hair out of your eyes gently, letting you continue however you saw fit and groaning quietly, “That’s it, querida.”

You moaned around him, enjoying the weight of him on your tongue and starting to bob your head along about half of him. Your pacing was a little awkward, so he cupped your head again, gently guiding your rhythm.

Feeling and seeing Javi crumble beneath you was unlike anything you’d ever experienced. Your usually composed boyfriend had been reduced to gasped moans and was clutching the couch so hard his knuckles were close to turning white.

Deciding to take him a little deeper, you gagged from the sheer size of him and Javi beckoned you back up to how you had him before, “I don’t want you choking, baby. Take your time.”

His words made your cheeks heat up and you hummed against him, deciding to bring your hand up to stroke what you couldn’t take in your mouth. Javi was right — the two of your were learning what made the other feel good, so there was no reason to rush. Coming up for air, you took a breath before swirling your tongue around his tip, letting your hand stroke him slow and tight.

“That’s- Fuck, baby that’s so good, don’t stop. B-Breathe through your nose,” Javi whined.

You didn’t change the pace at all, following his directions and looking up at him through your lashes to watch him fall apart with each second. When your eyes met his, Javi twitched against your tongue and threw his head back for a second, mumbling something about how close he was. All it took was a few more strokes and he was falling over the edge, holding his hips back from bucking into your mouth.

He didn’t expect you to swallow, but when he felt you suckling every drop from him, he nearly came again just at the thought. Vision coming back to him, he reached for you, using his remaining strength to pull you up to him, kissing you with more passion than you’d ever felt from him. His tongue dipped between your lips, tasting himself on your tongue and groaning again.

Every press of his lips to yours was a thank you, a promise; even an “I love you” that he wouldn’t dare utter yet. He kissed down from your lips, tracing the lines of your face with his lips. Smiling under his affection, you muttered a soft ‘thank you’. A smile pulled at his lips immediately and he kissed you again, pulling you closer to lay down on top of him.

You wanted him again. You knew you were going to want him constantly now. After tonight, going all the way didn’t seem so scary anymore, and you knew if you did, Javi would make it absolutely perfect.

The heat was pooling between your legs and the warmth of Javi under you was only stirring you on. You nosed at his neck, finding the scent of his cologne there waiting for you, like it always did. When your lips found that sweet spot on his neck, he sighed under you, running his fingers down the line of your back.

But maybe this was enough for tonight. If the sound of Javi’s slow breathing under you told you anything, it was that he didn’t mind taking things slow with you. He wasn’t going anywhere and you could go all the way with him another night. The two of you were going at your own pace, and nothing else mattered.

#javier peña #javier peña x reader #javier peña fanfiction #javier peña x reader smut #javier peña smut #narcos fanfiction #javier peña fic #narcos fic #javier peña imagine #javier peña headcanon #narcos imagine #narcos headcanon

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midntarot · 1 year

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[ pick a pile ]

what should i let go?

disclaimer: this is a general reading. take what resonates, leave what doesn’t. tarot isn’t meant to dictate or predict, but rather to provide insight.

how to choose your pile: intuitively choose the photo that you feel the most drawn to.

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡ pile 1:

let go of restraints. pull yourself out of these restraints you’ve given yourself. break out of your routine. don’t be so rational all the time and allow yourself to feel your emotions. you’ve been wanting to break in a new cycle, find a new opportunity to change things around, or to freely express yourself. to achieve this, you need to allow yourself to feel your emotions, be in tune with what you feel and how you perceive it. take a step back and really evaluate your feelings about certain things, events, or situations. don’t be too hasty about your actions and don’t be too impulsive. because you are too used to routines, you feel like you may expect the same outcome for every step you take. no, this time, take your time. indulge yourself. immerse yourself in everything you can.

you are: the forest. – indulge deep into the darkness. feel your goods. feel your bads. take your time to scour this entire place. discover the known and the unknown, and make peace with it.

⋆｡ﾟ☾ pile 2:

let go of control. though you have achieved very much or have big dreams and are taking steps to achieve them, you need to remember that taking control of your life may make it stagnant instead. let the way of the worlds dictate your life. flow freely with it and let in whatever comes your way. absorbing these events, emotions, and people like how you absorb the sun rays will enhance you as a person. it will propel you straight to your goals. remember not to feel discouraged if things are not going your way. cherish every moment you encounter, all the people who supported you on your journey, and the experiences and skills you’ve gained. though some moments may feel like it’s no use, every moment of it counts. it may feel like you’ve done this all by yourself, but remember all the help along the way.

you are: the unseen. – your guides are near. the doors to the path you’ve been wanting is slowly opening ajar. though you can’t see these forces quite well, they are watching you and they are guiding you. be patient. you’re almost there.

*:･ﾟ✧ pile 3:

let go of your impulsive habits. this is particularly speaking to your spending habits. there is an abundance of wealth coming your way, whether that be a job promotion, being hired at a higher paying job, winning the lottery, etc. any source of wealth it comes in, is coming for you. when this comes, however, do not let the numbers get to your head. do not spend your money hastily and remember where you’ve come from. you’ve worked so hard to get to where you are and to secure yourself a place in this world, but don’t lose sight of yourself. sure, you’ve finally made enough to support yourself and be able to buy things you want. but, remember, you’ve been secured and have always been financially independent. your work has paid off, but don’t let this money consume you.

you are: the cave. – remember your rock, a place that reminds you of your inner self, a place where after you’ve fallen, you can go back to and feel content and loved. remember your roots, where you’ve came from and what or who shaped you as a person. the cave is a place of a darkness, but a comforting kind of darkness – somewhere you can rest until you’re ready to pick yourself up again and move.

「source and credits: all photos were found on pinterest, therefore we do not own any of them. credits goes to the rightful owner of these photos」

#tarot #tarot community #tarot online #tarot reading #tarotblr #divination #intuition #divination community #midntarot #pick a photo #pick a pile #pick a card #itzy #yeji #itzy yeji #kpop

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heartgold · 6 months

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as much as it's frustrating how only two of the umi episodes were penned by Sayo in the irl layer, I think it's fascinating to compare them with each other because so much becomes clear when you look at the writing choices in each one side by side

the specific ways in which Legend and Turn differ from each other makes me certain that one was among the first message bottles she wrote whereas the other was one of the last, but it's not clear which is which -- it depends on how you interpret her internal journey and process of creating all these tales and fragments. Sayo's writing as a whole is very marked by her personal observations of the sins and struggles of the family and using them as mirrors to actually write about herself, using characters as stand-ins that give voice to her own inner thoughts, but both stories are very different in tone and approach

Legend feels almost methodical with the ways the murders and illusions are carried out, and the way her resentment manifests is more controlled, understated. you need to wring it around a bit more to 'see', but in my understanding: it's interesting how the 3 cousins are all made to suffer incredible grief losing their parents and love interests in quick succession (Battler being the only adult cousin who only lost his parents and not a love interest feels important to get him to remember!), but they live until the end then get invited to the Golden Land and choose to resurrect their lost love. By contrast, Natsuhi is put through the wringer through and through while being given the opportunity to be the star of the episode with her struggles as a woman taking the center of the stage, only to lose a duel (!) to Beatrice and be denied entry in the very last moment. there's a lot of conflicting emotions all over the place in both cases which is of course very characteristic of Sayo but I'm fascinated by how the cousins' entire role in this episode is to lose everything they had, experience earth-shattering grief and be led towards a romanticized afterlife where they can heal that grief, making the choice to resurrect the love that was lost, whereas Natsuhi's role is to mirror and portray Sayo's actual interiority and struggles (many that were caused by Natsuhi herself!) that went unspoken her whole life and then be challenged to a duel and get shot. to shoot Natsuhi is to shoot herself. shooting her actual personhood and interiority and struggles to death. as a metaphor for the entire ceremony of Beatrice's revival being a suicide in order to pass on into the afterlife where compartmentalized parts of herself can simultaneously exist as whole and find happiness with their respective love interests. the final step of rejecting reality, seeking love by truly becoming fictional while the human heart of the actress behind the characters dies buried between the lines of the text unless you 'see' it. god she makes me insane. anyway

Turn by comparison is very brutal. Beatrice steps onto the gameboard and is at her cruelest here, and the deliberate narrative choices are dripping with anger, helplessness and sorrow. everything about the focus given to Rosa in her role as the main accomplice who only had eyes for gold vs the framing of the tragedy as the gift of a halloween party for Maria, the wolves and sheep allegory, the way Shannon and Kanon get repeatedly kicked around for trying to resist their fate and wanting to believe in love despite everything. Kanon's "corpse" being desecrated by being forcefully resurrected twice, not being allowed death. the barely contained sexual conflict and trauma in the themes and imagery all over the episode. the way Sayo personally kills Jessica and George and her personas are killed along with them, an utter rejection of the possibility of being loved in reality as something that can only happen in death and fiction, so they all get to die together and be connected by their souls, all portrayed as the innocent victims of a vicious witch. the unspoken horror of one of the few true closed rooms in the game, with Sayo physically killing herself while facing herself in the mirror after doing all that. no one could dispute that a coffin is a closed room. and with closed rooms in this game often symbolizing being trapped in your own logic even though the door was unlocked all along, it absolutely stands for Sayo giving up all hope. Beatrice won, the gold won, the family's curse won, Sayo's worst feelings regarding herself won. Kinzo won too, even as a dead puppet haunting the narrative, he 'lives' to the end and gets his miracle of meeting Beatrice granted again. just that says a lot. Turn is horror after horror and you can only fully grasp that with the context for her writing choices

Legend feels relatively composed and deliberate in its choices of allegory. it also carries a lot of pain and conflicted feelings (particularly with the way she hatewrote Battler in it) but the text in Turn is basically bleeding all of her self hatred and suicidality and conflict over the idea of being loved. Legend is for the most part a straightforward mystery embellished in illusions with her heart still very baked into the text, and it has a big focus on solvability (Eva as the main accomplice basically points Battler toward the solution... which he rejects) and gambling/risk-taking, with multiple moments where Sayo left things out of her hands and up to chance, making it so that she could've been stopped even by accident. and then Turn is basically an eruption of all the horrible feelings churning in her heart. it says a lot that in Legend, she left the people she loved the most alive until the end, as if hoping until the very end for the miracle that at least one of them would see through her and stop her from murdering them, while Turn kills off the cousins (barring Battler due to being the detective) and then herself before the ceremony even ends, destroying all outcomes beyond utter annihilation. Turn is absolutely about her surrendering and leaning right into the illusion she casts on herself of being an irredeemable monster, so Beatrice absolutely plays into that role here. fitting that it ends with Battler surrendering, too

the sheer tonal contrast between these two message bottles tells a story of the journey of how Sayo's mental state changed as she kept writing and running over her murder-suicide plans over and over again -- it can either show her hope and composure deteriorating as she resigned herself to accepting her dead-end of fate (Legend -> Turn) OR the raw emotion she felt in the beginning of the writing frenzy dissipating as she kept going, any result being a satisfactory outcome but still focusing on planning out a difficult but fair mystery, staking her hopes onto the miracle of having it solved by the person who shared her personal philosophy on mysteries (Turn -> Legend). I don't like relying on Confessions too much as "confirmation" of Sayo-related things because it doesn't sit well with me, but if you go by the way it portrayed the process, then it strongly suggests the latter explanation

wish we could have seen more of the countless tales she personally wrote because you can see so much of her personhood hidden within the text, her thought processes, personal views and authoral voice all providing characterization, but the two we got already tell entire untold stories. it's funny that the two first episodes are usually thought of as the least interesting ones on a first read when they're the ones with the most firsthand insight into the culprit's heart and how she felt about everything. the sorrows and pain but the strength of will and hope too

#umineko #umineko spoilers #◇#suicide cw #literally the character of all time. if u even care

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ghostlythunderbird · 1 year

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As a Spouse and a Parent~ Task Force 141

Pairings: Simon Riley, John MacTavish, Kyle Garrick, John Price X Fem! Reader

Warnings: Fluff, Pregnancy, Prior Abuse, some NSFW is referenced

Word Count: 2,269

Author Notes: Is this feeding into a deep longing of mine? Why yes, yes it is. I'm sorry if this is poorly written I was writing this at 3am

Simon “Ghost” Riley

As a Spouse

Simon actually didn’t want to get married in the beginning, because if you wanted to get married it would only put a potential target on not just you but anyone you're close to. But I can assure you he wanted nothing more than to put a ring on your finger, and as a testament to that you should have heard how picky he was with your ring. Soap was definitely losing his mind while trying to help Simon out

After the initial hesitation in the first year of your marriage not much had changed between you and Simon, but your relationship continued to grow as Simon became more upfront with nothing that seemed to really bother him. Of course keeping everything related to his job confidential.

He became more doting on you, constantly craving for your attention whenever he’s at home. It was honestly comical that this large man seemed to melt into a puddle at the slightest touch from you, practically purring for you when you rake your hands through his hair when you cuddle in those late mornings. Even after this he will ask you not to share how he truly acts at home with any of his teammates, there often was the threat of not getting any more breakfasts in bed from him.

Oh and when I tell you this man can cook, I mean he can COOK. Like this man can cook full course meals but the only time you have to interfere is because he doesn't use seasoning very much. Secretly he enjoys these small moments with you, just spending quality time whenever he can is what helps him realize that getting married was the best decision.

As a Parent

When you told him you were pregnant for the first time he had a whole mental meltdown that ended up with him leaving to take a walk around your neighborhood. Now it wasn’t because he was angry, if anything he was terrified.

This is a man who has faced horrid abuse at the hands of his father, had his Brother, mother, sister in law, and his nephew murdered because of his job, had so many near death experiences, and killed men without a second thought. How could someone like him raise a child properly, much less raise one that wouldn’t hate him for who he was.

After returning and talking his fears out, you both soon started to prepare the arrival of your child. And lets be real he is fascinated with each step of your pregnancy, His favorite part was feeling his child react to his touch each time. Just to add this in because I just have a feeling this might happen, this man would definitely end up having at least 5 kids because he falls in love all over again with each one. Not only that but he wants to prove that he is a better dad than his own could have ever been.

Simon loves all his kids and will spend each moment he can with them, going to dance recitals, practice, helping with homework, putting them all to bed. Does he become a tired dad after 5 kids? Well of course he would but does he regret it, Never.

Johnny “Soap” MacTavish

As a Spouse

Oh my gosh, now this man right here is one of the Sweetest Hubbies out there. You talk about remodeling the kitchen? Well here is your new kitchen after a month. Craving a certain food, he’s either buying it or attempting to make it.

From the first point when I mean attempting I really mean “Attempting” because this man cannot cook to save his life. And before you try to say he can, he can cook a few things but hardly anything is seasoned because the military has ruined his sense of taste. While he can’t outright cook more than simple meals like grilled cheese sandwiches it doesn't mean he can't help chop up ingredients or be your taste tester. His favorite thing to do is help you bake and you know this man will be licking the spoon and the bowl, he ended up stealing it once and locked himself in the bathroom so you couldn't stop him.

When he's home you can guarantee you're gonna be cuddled to death by him, he hardly ever lets you leave and if you're gone for more than five minutes he's going to look for you and become a human koala. Johnny I feel like is a very affectionate lover and will do anything to find a compromise if you two can't agree on something. He never makes big decisions without you as in his eyes being married means you have to work together not against each other.

As a Parent

Ok let's be real here out over everyone in the task force Johnny has the BIGGEST Breeding kink out there, and like most men he isn't much of a fan of condoms simply because it takes out the intimacy. He has a true addiction to cumming inside you so it's no surprise you end up becoming pregnant.

When you tell him you're pregnant he would let out the biggest yell and then tackle you into a bear hug while crying from pure joy. After finding this out he immediately called and told both of your families. He's very invested with both yours and the baby's development over time. His favorite thing to do is to fall asleep on your lap with his head near your bump no matter how big or small it is while running his hand over it.

While he does get prepared once you start reaching the end of your pregnancy it doesn't stop the military one bit. After hearing he would end up deploying towards the end he was devastated, while he understands you cant stop when you're called back to base he wanted nothing more to stay home and would even risk going AWOL.

He would constantly facetime you everyday when he's gone, and while he wasn't physically there for the birth of your child he did encourage you from the phone while being hundreds of miles from home. And when he was finally able to finally come home? He gathered you both up in his arms and refused to let go.

But as your child grows up I can definitely say Johnny is the most supportive and fun dad out there. He wants nothing more than to see his kid grow up to be a respectful and easy person who still takes time to appreciate the little things and know when to have a little fun.

Kyle “Gaz” Garrick

As a Spouse

This man I feel like can be often overlooked so here we're gonna give him a whole bunch of lovins here. Gaz is more of a selfless lover by heart, so be prepared to be showered in love and attention 24/7. Trying to read a book? Well now you're both reading a book because he wants to constantly be in your presence.

While Kyle is home he would definitely want to go on walks and hikes with you just so you're both exploring together. That being said he tries to plan yearly vacations for you both wherever you both decide to visit. Like Simon, Kyle wants to spend as much time with you as he can while he's home. The awful part about his job is to think that there might be a last time he would ever see you, so he wants to take advantage of every second.

Kyle loves to talk about your future together, wondering about your lives of what could happen or what could have been. His favorite part though is to talk about settling down somewhere away from the hustle and bustle of the big cities in the UK. Having a little house in a village far out into the countryside where the both of you can live in peace.

Maybe there are often times where he thinks that your dreams of living out your lives together may never become a reality when coming back after a rather rough mission. You will have to talk him out of those thoughts just to remind him that even on the roughest days you'll always be by his side even when he can't see you.

As a Parent

This man is NOT prepared to hear that you're pregnant. Wanna know what he does when you wait until he comes home to tell him? This man straight up faints from the overwhelming news. After hearing you freaking out after coming to he just wraps you up as you're both on the floor and just says “This wasn't in our road map, love” as a joke.

It does take him off guard to understand that he's not only fighting the darkness just to protect you but for his child now. And to say that it keeps driving him forward to survive every mission more than ever before is a vast understatement.

Kyle ends up asking you one day after being home for a week on how many you both feel comfortable with having, you both decide on having two. Over time his excitement continued to grow the bigger your child got and when I tell you this man keeps buying toys and baby clothes I'm not joking. He's a hoarder of baby stuff now

When your little one is finally born this man has constant tears that the nurses even joked that your husband cried more than you while in labor. He's mesmerized by this child, that while you fall asleep he begins to pledge his life for the newborn in his arms. Gaz as a dad is one of the sweetest things in the world, always wanting to be involved in his children's lives and to spend every minute with them.

John Price

As a Spouse

This man is by far the biggest romantic out there without a doubt, always wanting to surprise you when you least expect him to be home. His favorite memory was when he came in with you eating ice cream on the couch and he grabbed you from behind, he didn't regret having to clean the couch afterwards.

You better expect he's gonna take you out whenever he gets home too, like this man WANTS to show you off no matter where you go. You both go out to a fancy restaurant you're getting shown off, at a taco truck just down from your shared home. Well guess what you're still getting shown off even if you're dressed in sweatpants and a T-shirt.

Don’t blame this man for any of it because he's just so in love with you he can't help himself. But if he had to choose between staying at home or going out without a doubt he would choose to stay in with you and just enjoy the limited time he has. While yes sometimes he has to bring home paperwork he still finds a way such as having you curled up in his lap over his tights and having a blanket draped over the both of you.

That being said there have been times you've both fallen asleep in the chair and you both totally have NEVER tipped the chair back. It definitely became an inside joke between the both of you but it's something you both never mention to anyone else.

As a Parent

You and John have talked about what you might do if you ever decided to have kids, but you've both tried to be as safe during your “Adult” time but it seems that life said otherwise. While you had no reason to be upset or nervous about telling John you couldn't help the nagging feeling of anxiety. You don't tell him right away, but you rather plan it around one of your nightly walks.

At first he thought you were messing with him and doing one of your pranks again, but after seeing your serious face he was speechless. After the initial shock he pulls you in and kisses you, he lets out a laugh after pulling back before resting his hand over your stomach. John tries to be around as much as he can for the majority of your pregnancy, but life as an officer is a very demanding one.

While he's gone on deployments he tries to stay in contact as much as he can, and if he doesn't have service he keeps a picture of you and a sonogram picture of his little one tucked away in his tactical vest. The only person he shows and talks about his new child with is Simon, because this man is dealing with 5 kids even after saying he's too old for this life.

You end up giving birth right before John was getting ready to land, and let's just say this man threatened a lot of people just so he could get to the hospital as soon as possible. John overall as a parent would definitely be doting but he knows when he needs to put his foot down, even if it does end up drawing tears. He’s one of those dads too that definitely lets his kids do whatever to him, especially if he has a daughter.

#simon riley x reader #john price x reader #john soap mctavish x reader #kyle gaz garrick x reader #cod modern warfare #cod mw2

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