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#um if anybody reads it please tell me what you think i hope it is fun and sparkly for you
klaissance · 2 months
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ok um i have done it i've created a thing
pls enjoy
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honeybeesources · 3 months
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BO  BURNHAM:  INSIDE  SENTENCE  STARTERS! (Change  as needed.  NSFW  and  triggering  content  ahead.)
CONTENT "Interesting,  now  leave  me  alone." "Sorry  that  I  look  like  a  mess." "I  booked  a  haircut,  but  it  got  rescheduled." "Might  not  help,  but  still,  it  couldn't  hurt." "I'm  sorry  I  was  gone." "It's  a  beautiful  day  to  stay  inside."
COMEDY "What  the  fuck  is  going  on?" "It's  like  everything  happened  all  at  once." "Um,  what  the  fuck  is  going  on?" "The  more  I  look,  the  more  I  see  nothing  to  joke  about." "Should  I  leave  you  alone?" "Should  I  be  joking  at  a  time  like  this?" "The  world  is  so...  fucked  up." "Don't  panic." "Call  me  and  I'll  tell  you  a  joke." "I  swore  I'd  never  be  back,  but  now  I'm  back  on  my  feet."
FACETIME  WITH  MY  MOM  (TONIGHT) "Pour  me  a  drink  and  clear  my  schedule." "Oh,  look  who's  here." "How  you  doing,  bud?" "I'm  not  so  bad." "That's  the  deepest  talk  we've  ever  had."
HOW  THE  WORLD  WORKS "The  world  that's  around  us  is  pretty  amazing." "But  how  does  it  work?" "It  must  be  complicated." "Everything  works  together." "That  is  how  the  world  works." "That's  how  it  works." "Hey,  everyone." "Look  who  stopped  by  to  say  hello.  It's  [muse  name]!" "Where've  you  been,  [muse  name]?" "Not  quite  dead,  not  quite  alive." "It's  similar  to  a  constant  state  of  sleep  paralysis." "Boy,  that  sounds  complicated." "How  about  you  give  it  a  try?" "Don't  you  know  the  world  is  built  with  blood?" "That's  pretty  intense." "No  shit." "Read  a  book  or  something,  I  don't  know." "Just  don't  burden  me  with  the  responsibility  of  educating  you." "It's  incredibly  exhausting." "I  was  just  trying  to  become  a  better  person." "Wait,  wait,  wait,  no,  please!" "I  don't  want  to  go  back.  Please." "I  can't  go,  I  can't  go  back." "Are  you  gonna  behave  yourself?" "Yes,  what?" "Yes,  sir." "I  hope  you  learned  your  lesson."
WHITE  WOMAN'S  INSTAGRAM "Is  this  heaven?" "I  can't  believe  it." "It's  been  a  decade  since  you've  been  gone." "I  miss  you." "It's  got  a  little  better,  but  it's  still  hard." "Still  figuring  out  how  to  keep  living  with  you." "I  got  a  job  I  love  and  my  own  apartment." "I  got  a  boyfriend  and  I'm  crazy  about  him." "I'm  crazy  about  him."
UNPAID  INTERN "Who  needs  a  coffee?" "I'm  writing  down  the  orders  now  for  everyone." "The  coffee  is  free,  just  like  me." "I'm  an  unpaid  intern." "You  work  all  day,  go  back  to  your  dorm."
BEZOS  I/II "Come  on,  [muse  name],  you  can  do  it." "Pave  the  way,  put  your  back  into  it." "Tell  us  why." "Show  us  how." "Look  at  where  you  came  from." "Look  at  you  now." "Amateurs  can  fucking  suck  it." "You  did  it!" "Congratulations!"
SEXTING "It  isn't  sex,  it's  the  next  best  thing." "I'm  in  bed." "I'm  ready  to  go  with  you." "Tonight,  I'm  thinking  of  taking  it  slow." "That's  pretty  abstract." "Crisis  averted.  Thank  God." "Are  you  naked?" "I'm  getting  hot  at  just  the  thought  of  what  I'd  do  to  you." "I  love  you,  baby." "Send  a  picture  of  your  tits,  please." "Jesus  fucking  Christ,  I  guess  I  never  learn." "I  sent  my  titties,  that's  not  fair." "Another  night  on  my  own."
LOOK  WHO'S  INSIDE  AGAIN "There  isn't  much  more  to  say  about  it." "You'll  do  any  old  shit  to  get  out  of  it." "Try  telling  jokes." "Look  who's  inside  again." "Went  out  to  look  for  a  reason  to  hide  again." "Come  out  with  your  hands  up." "We've  got  you  surrounded."
PROBLEMATIC "Please  forgive  me." "I  did  not  realize  what  I  did." "Are  you  gonna  hold  me  accountable?" "Isn't  anybody  gonna  hold  me  accountable?" "I  wanna  show  you  how  I'm  growing  as  a  person." "I  tried  to  hide  behind  my  childhood,  and  that's  not  okay." "My  actions  are  my  own,  I  won't  explain  them  away." "I've  done  a  lot  of  self-reflecting." "I  was  totally  wrong  when  I  said  it." "My  bed  is  empty  and  I'm  getting  cold." "What  should  I  do  with  it?" "I've  been  totally  awful." "I'm  really  fucking  sorry."
30 "I  used  to  run  for  miles." "I  used  to  ride  my  bike." "I  used  to  wake  up  with  a  smile." "I'm  turning  thirty." "God  damn  it!" "Now,  my  stupid  friends  are  having  stupid  children." "I'll  be  forty  and  I'll  kill  myself  then."
DON'T  WANNA  KNOW "How  are  you  feeling?" "Do  you  like  the  show?" "Are  you  tired  of  it?" "Never  mind,  I  don't  wanna  know." "Are  you  finding  it  boring?" "Do  I  have  your  attention?" "Yes,  or  no?" "Are  you  on  your  phone?" "Is  there  anyone  out  there?" "Am  I  all  alone?" "It  wouldn't  make  a  difference." "I  thought  it'd  be  over  by  now."
SHIT "How  we  feeling  out  there  tonight?" "I  am  not  feeling  good." "Feeling  like  a  bag  of  shit." "All  my  clothes  are  dirty,  so  I'm  smelling  like  a  bag  of  shit." "OMG,  that  is  just  my  luck." "What's  up,  you  useless  fuck?" "Are  you  feeling  what  I'm  feeling?" "I  haven't  had  a  shower  in  the  last  nine  days." "Staring  at  the  ceiling  and  waiting  for  this  feeling  go  away." "It  won't  go  away." "I'm  not  really  feeling  like  I  wanna  get  lit." "Tell  us  how  you're  feeling." "Well,  I  feel  like  shit." "Feeling  like  a  saggy,  massive  sack  of  shit." "Big  ol'  motherfucking  duffle  bag  of  shit." "Are  you  feeling  like  shit?" "Tell  me,  are  you  feeling  like  shit?"
ALL  TIME  LOW "My  current  mental  health  is  rapidly  approaching  an  ATL.  Which  is,  um,  that's  an  all-time  low." "You  know,  I  feel  OK  when  I'm  asleep." "Like,  when  I'm  asleep,  I  feel  all  right." "It's  basically  from  the  moment  I  wake  up,  I  just  get  this  feeling  in  my  body,  way  down  deep  inside  me." "I  try  not  to  fight  it." "My  heart,  it  gets  to  tappin',  and  I  think  I'm  gonna  die." "Um,  yeah,  not  doing  great."
WELCOME  TO  THE  INTERNET "Have  a  look  around." "If  none  of  it's  of  interest  to  you,  you'd  be  the  first." "Come  and  take  a  seat." "There's  no  need  to  panic,  this  isn't  a  test." "Just  nod  or  shake  your  head  and  we'll  do  the  rest." "Be  happy,  be  horny,  be  bursting  with  rage." "Don't  act  surprised." "Could  I  interest  you  in  everything  all  of  the  time?" "Apathy's  a  tragedy  and  boredom  is  a  crime." "You  know?  It  wasn't  always  like  this." "We  set  our  sights  and  spent  our  nights  waiting  for  you." "Now,  look  at  you.  Look  at  you." "If  we  stick  together,  who  knows  what  we'll  do?"
THAT  FUNNY  FEELING "I  can't  really  play  the  guitar  very  well,  or  sing." "Apologies." "The  backlash  to  the  backlash  to  the  thing  that's  just  begun." "There  it  is  again,  that  funny  feeling." "The  whole  world  at  your  fingertips,  the  ocean  at  your  door." "Full  agoraphobic,  losing  focus,  cover  blown." "The  quiet  comprehending  of  the  ending  of  it  all." "Hey,  what  can  you  say?  We  were  overdue." "It'll  be  over  soon,  you  wait."
ALL  EYES  ON  ME "Get  your  fuckin'  hands  up." "Get  on  out  of  your  seats." "All  eyes  on  me,  all  eyes  on  me." "Are  you  feeling  nervous?" "Are  you  having  fun?" "It's  almost  over." "It's  just  begun." "Don't  overthink  this,  look  in  my  eye." "Don't  be  scared,  don't  be  shy." "Come  on  in,  the  water's  fine." "Heads  down,  pray  for  me." "You  wanna  hear  a  funny  story?" "I've  been  hiding  from  the  world,  and  I  need  to  re-enter." "You  say  the  ocean's  rising  like  I  give  a  shit." "You  say  the  whole  world's  ending.  Honey,  it  already  did." "Get  inside."
GOODBYE "So  long." "Goodbye." "I'll  see  you  when  I  see  you." "You  can  pick  the  street." "I'll  meet  you  on  the  other  side." "Do  I  really  have  to  finish?" "Did  I  say  that  right?" "So,  this  is  how  it  ends." "I  promise  to  never  go  outside  again." "I'm  slowly  losing  power." "Has  it  only  been  an  hour?" "No,  that  can't  be  right." "Hey,  here's  a  fun  idea!" "Am  I  going  crazy?" "Am  I  right  back  where  I  started?" "I'll  panic." "Call  me  up  and  tell  me  a  joke." "You're  really  joking  at  a  time  like  this?"
ANY  DAY  NOW "It  will  stop  any  day  now." "Any  day  now."
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kkyaka · 4 months
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Summary: Running into someone who was a key part in making high school hell for you wasn't what you expected when you settled into college Pairing: Ukai Keishin x black!fem!reader Warnings: friends to lovers (kinda), college!au, a handful of angst, reader kinda overworks herself, ukai is whipped for reader, one random bad encounter with an oc, reader was bullied in high school and is still holding onto that LMFAO, making out, grinding, tit sucking, little bit of marking, fingering, i think that's it, if there's anymore please tell me ya girl is tired Word Count: 21,351 (oops) A/N: Um, it's been a while LMFAO. I'm honestly not very proud of this fic, but I wanted to post it anyway as kinda of gateway to getting back into posting my fics cause I have four more (maybe five) that I wanna post. This was a part of my scrapped follower event (RIP). Reblogs are appreciated, and thank you for reading if you do read this trash!
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The first week of classes always makes you anxious. This semester, you’ve got some classes in buildings you’ve never been in, and you didn’t get a chance to walk the campus to find them because you moved in so late. You don’t know why the apartment you moved into decided that moving in the weekend before school started was a great idea.
Luckily, you found your first class with ease, a simple elective that you need to graduate, and you hope that the coursework won’t be too hard. You got here early just in case you had trouble finding it, so you scroll on your phone to pass the time as the class fills in. None of your friends are in this class, so you’re not waiting on anybody.
By the size of the room, it doesn’t look like the class size will be that big, so you hope that the people that are taking it with you are bearable. No one is sitting at the desks around you, and that doesn’t bother you, but what does bother you is that someone sits right next to you when there were other seats open. 
You try to keep the sigh you make as silent as possible, not even giving the person a look as you keep your attention on your phone. You put it away when the professor walks in, pulling your laptop out of your backpack as she introduces herself. “Make sure you guys introduce yourselves to the people around you because you’re going to be working with them a lot this semester.”
You try to hide your annoyance, putting on a nice smile before you turn to the person that’s sitting next to you, but it drops the moment your eyes land on them. You feel something run through you that you can’t explain, grabbing the corner of your desk in a tight grip. 
“You look like you’ve just seen a ghost,” he laughs, but there’s not a single part of you that finds any of this funny.
“What the fuck are you doing here?” you whisper, thankful that you’re in the back of the classroom so no one can eavesdrop. 
“Why so hostile? I thought we were friends.”
“We’re far from that Ukai, and you know it.” His name feels heavy, foreign on your tongue, something you hadn’t even thought about saying in months. 
Ukai Keishin. Someone that you’d never thought you’d see again. Someone who’s been haunting your past for way longer than you’d like. You thought that college would give you the chance to get away from him, and yeah sure, you picked a relatively small college, but out of all of the colleges, he picks this one? You can’t help but look over him, seeing how much he’s changed; how much he’s grown. He is not the same boy that you’ve known for so long, and you willfully ignore that part of you that wants to examine that even further.
“You’ve always been so mean to me,” he whines playfully, which makes you roll your eyes because that’s rich coming from him. 
“Answer my question,” you say, hoping that you get an answer from him, and then you just go back to ignoring him. 
“Same reason you are, no?”
“Why this one, specifically?” you press, looking around with your eyes for somewhere else you can sit the next time you have this class.
“You can ease up, alright? I’m being totally honest when I say I had no idea you would be here too.” It doesn’t sound like he’s lying, looking over his face before finding something else to do. You don’t bother to continue the conversation; thankfully, the professor gets the class's attention again. 
She asks if anyone wants to share something about the person that they introduce themselves to, and a few people raise their hands. You sigh slowly, resting your chin on your hand after you put your elbow on the desk. After a few people have shared, she goes over the syllabus, but you’re not paying attention.
Even though you’re not looking at him, the fact that you now know he’s sitting next to you, is the only thing you can focus on. You’ve never wished for a class to be over so fast in your life so that you can just get out of here without having to speak to him again. You sigh a bit, feeling like he’s watching you, but you refuse to look over at him to confirm that.
The longer your professor talks, the more uneasy you start to feel. You knew that the class wouldn’t last the whole time today since it was the first class, but you swear that time has slowed down. You see Ukai move a little bit closer to you in the corner of your eye, and you try to act like you didn’t see it.
“When’s your next class?” you hear him whisper, but you don’t answer, only responding with a quick side-eye. You turn your attention back to the front, and you sigh in annoyance, but that’s not enough to deter him because you feel a nudge at your desk. 
“Leave me alone,” you whisper, keeping your eyes forward.
“I will when you tell me.” You ball your hand into a fist, sighing again because you’re pretty sure he’s not going to mess with you anymore; figuring he just said that to get a rise out of you. You shake your head softly. It’s too fucking early for this. She’s starting to get toward the end of the syllabus, so you decide to order some food since you skipped breakfast this morning. You leave your phone on your desk while you put your laptop back into your bag, and when your eyes land on your desk, your phone is gone.
Your head immediately turns to the culprit, and he’s looking at the screen, but you can’t tell what he’s doing. “Are you a child?!” you grit, glancing at the front of the room before you try to reach for it. He’s quick to move away from you so that you can’t reach your phone, and right as your professor dismisses the class, he gives you your phone back.
You frown, thinking that he was going to put up more of a fight, and you notice how he steps closer to you when the other students are leaving the classroom, but there’s nowhere for you to move to. When the last student is out, you quickly make your way out, sliding past him when he puts distance between the two of you. 
You have a class in about another hour, so you order your food before you check to see if he did anything to your phone. Nothing looks different, and he cleared your apps, covering his tracks, so you’d have to do some digging to figure out what he did. You don’t bother to find it right now, trying not to concentrate on the fact that you will now be in the same room as Ukai.
You cross your fingers that he’ll drop the class, and you could also do that, but there’s no way you’d go through with it. You had left high school with high hopes that you would never see him again, but it’s just your shitty luck that you do. He made your life a living hell before college, and you were hoping that you could start fresh, leaving all of that behind.
But how long has he been here? You’ve been here a year already and you had no clue that he was here. And even if he was, your mom would’ve probably told you about it since she stays in touch with some of the other parents of your peers from high school. So, why were you unpleasantly surprised today?
You check to see how close your food is to being ready when you get a text. Your walking slows when you see Ukai’s name pop up, and seeing it allows you to figure out what he was doing with your phone. You swipe it away, shaking your head before you pick up the pace, but you falter when you see that he’s calling you.
You stop, stepping off to the side so that you’re not in the way of other people before you answer it. “God, what do you want?” you groan. 
“It’s only ten-thirty in the morning, and you’re already this grumpy?” he chuckles, and you ball your hand into a fist, taking a deep breath to try and calm yourself.
“I’m blocking you,” you say.
“Aw, you don’t mean that, do you?” You can hear his voice more precisely this time, but it doesn’t sound like it’s coming through the phone. You turn around to see him walking up to you with a smirk on his face, phone by his ear.
You hang up the phone, sighing heavily. “What do you want?” you repeat, way past annoyed right now, and when you look back at him, you see something flash in his eyes, but it’s gone before you can figure out what it was.
“Just give me fifteen minutes, okay?” He’s lost that teasing tone in his voice, and you chew on your lip softly while you contemplate before you finally give in. 
“Fine. I’m heading to the student union to get some food,” you tell him, hoping that this will finally get him to leave you alone. You start walking, and he happily steps in rhythm right next to you. It’s pretty silent for the first couple of feet you walk, and you expected him to continue the conversation, but he stays silent.
You definitely don’t have anything you want to say to him; well, in public at least. Your mind is racing as you walk, and you’re starting to wish that he would talk to you so that you can shut your thoughts out. You can’t help but think about how he treated you when you were younger, and how most of the time he was the aid in your bullying. 
As far as you’re concerned, you didn’t think he liked you, or either he loved to make your life a living hell, and his actions justified that. But what he’s doing now is completely baffling to you. You can’t help but scoff, rubbing over your head as you smile. Who knew that your day could be turned upside down in a matter of minutes?
“What’s so funny?” he asks, making you realize that you accidentally reacted to your thoughts out loud.
“So, did you transfer, or…?” you say, not wanting to answer the question.
“Nah, I was here last school year,” he answers, shoving his hands in his pockets. You nod softly, looking at the ground. The school isn’t that small, so you may have just never run into him. But on the other hand, the school isn’t massive either, so you’re a bit surprised that you haven’t seen him.
“I’m assuming you’re majoring in something dealing with agriculture?” you ask next, meeting his gaze, and the smile he gives you makes you feel too many things, and you don’t like it.
“Horticulture, specifically, yeah,” he tells you with a nod, looking at the ground before he looks at you again. “Now, how’d you know that?”
You choke a bit, clearing your throat as you look off to the side. “I mean, who didn’t? Farming was all you talked about in high school,” you try. It’s a horrible attempt at taking the heat off the fact that you know what he’s interested in, and you know there’s no way that it worked.
“You were listening to me in high school?” he questions, and the teasing tone in his voice increases your urge to punch him in the stomach.
“It’s not like I had a choice, you and your friends talked so fucking loud all of the time.” That you say with confidence because there’s a ton of truth to that statement. He’s always been obnoxious, but with his friends, it seemed like it would always multiply. Not seeing him was the best part of your high school career. 
He laughs a bit in surprise before he nods. “Okay, I’ll give you that.” One of the bigger classes must’ve gotten out because there are a lot more people around as you walk, forcing Ukai to move closer to you. You try to shy away, but there’s no way you can move without falling off the sidewalk, so you just bite your tongue when you feel his shoulder brush against yours.
“Alright, so how’s your schedule looking this semester?”
“Hectic to say the least,” you chuckle, sighing a bit as you think about your future workload. “So, I hope this class will be the least of my worries.”
“Ah, you’ll be fine, just don’t stress too much about it.”
You scoff. “Yeah, that’s a lot easier said than done.” When you get to the student union, he holds the door open for you, and you thank him softly, picking up your pace a little, but he falls in time with your steps.
You quickly glance at your phone, seeing that your order is ready, and you’re grateful for an excuse to get away from him. “Uh, well, my food is ready, so I should probably go.” You try to turn around as fast as you can, but he must notice that you’re trying to leave because he starts talking right when you finish.
“Do you have any other classes today?” he says quickly, and you stop, trying to hide your heavy sigh.
“No,” you lie, but that isn’t enough to let him drop the conversation because he speaks up again, and you wonder why you haven’t just walked away yet. 
“You mind if I join you while you eat?” That sounds like a horrible idea, so you promptly come up with an excuse that thankfully doesn’t sound forced.
“Oh, well, I’m probably gonna go sit in the library,” you say. “Wanna make sure I’m not gonna fall behind since I already have homework.” You feel like you might be playing it up too much, especially when he squints after he hears your words.
“If I didn’t know better, I’d say it sounds like you’re trying to avoid me,” he infers, and you start to panic a little bit, trying to think about how to respond.
“I’m not. I promise.” You chuckle, waving your hand out right as you feel your phone vibrate with a text. “I’ve already made plans to meet up with my friend, so…” Perfect timing, you think in your head because if that text hadn’t come through, you don’t know what you would’ve said.
He smirks at you before he nods his head. “Okay, then. I’ll let you go.” You almost curl your body forward slightly in relief, but you hold that urge back. “It was good to see you again.”
“Yeah,” you say tersely, giving him a tight smile. You awkwardly wave before you finally turn around and walk away to get your food. You don’t walk fast, but you do try to get out of there as soon as you can because you can feel his eyes on you without even having to look. 
It makes you feel a certain type of way that you don’t even want to try and tackle, so you hightail it out of there. Once you get outside, you feel like you can breathe again, but now you don’t know where to go. It’s not like you could sit inside the student union after lying to Keishin, so you look at the time on your phone to try and figure out where would be the best place to go.
Based on the time, there’s a building you could sit in and not have to worry about a lot of people being there, so you head on over there. You slide your headphones onto your head from around your neck and let the music take over the thoughts that you don’t want to hear right now as you walk.
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“It’s only the beginning of the week, and you already look like you want it to be over.” Your forehead is pillowed by your forearms on the table, and you lift your head to set your chin on your arms. 
“I had a terrible surprise this morning,” you answer solemnly. You didn’t lie to Ukai entirely. You were meeting up with your friend, but it was after your second class, and you weren’t meeting her in the library. So, it was just a tiny lie. Luckily, you didn’t run into him anymore today, but you hate how you were on high alert the whole day.
You’ve never been more aware of your surroundings, looking around when you leave the building, and making sure you’re continuously looking around as you walked to your car. You could say that you’re being dramatic, but another part of you just wants to consider it “keeping your peace” since seeing Ukai again brought back painful memories.
“What? You tripped in front of a lot of people or what?” You sit up, sighing as you lean back in your chair.
“I saw someone from high school that I thought I’d never see again.” Your friend flips through her textbook, already having homework, as she shrugs.
“So? What’s so bad about that?”
“He made my life a living hell.” Your friend perks up at that, lifting her head to give you her full attention.
“Oh, it’s a ‘he’? Is he cute?” You give her a plain look, which makes her chuckle a little. “Okay, so I need a backstory. We’ve been friends for like a year, and I don’t think I’ve heard about this guy.”
And there’s a reason for that. You would much rather leave painful memories behind, but your luck says otherwise. “Well, I would prefer to not talk about a guy that made my life harder than needed,” you start with a sigh, “but today, he acted like everything from high school never happened.”
“What does that mean?”
“He was nice to me.” You can’t help but scoff a little, laughing because it sounds like the bare minimum, but he was nowhere near acting like that back then. “I thought he hated me or something.” 
“Why do you think he hates you?”
“Because he messed with me non-stop! He and his friends humiliated me as much as they could.”
“Are you sure that it was him that was messing with you or was he just in the background?” That makes you freeze, and you slump a little at her question. If you think about it, he’s never physically done or said anything to you, but the fact that he was there, and didn’t do anything to stop it was enough to convince you that he didn’t like you. And it was enough for you to not like him. 
“What did he say to you today?” your friend asks after you’re silent for a while. 
“He put his number in my phone, and he walked with me to the student union. He said he thought we were friends.” You rub your hand over your face, resting your top half on the table again. There’s so much confusion on a Monday, and you’ve barely been to all of your classes. 
“It doesn’t sound like he hates you to me.”
“Yeah, I know. It’s making me sound like I’m fucking crazy,” you say lightly, looking at what’s playing on the TV behind your friend. “I’m pretty sure he’s just trying to butter me up or something to try and make himself look good. And then he’ll make my life miserable again once I let him back in.”
“You’ve always been so dramatic,” your friend laughs. “I’m telling you right now, that I don’t think that’s the case. He definitely would’ve acted differently, right? Did he ever talk to you in high school?”
“Barely. I caught him staring at me all the fucking time. He sometimes tried to talk to me after his friends did something to me, but I never let him speak.” Your friend is a hundred percent invested in this story, all of her attention on you instead of her textbooks.
“Okay, give me a couple of instances where you were messed with,” she tells you after she laughs at your answer. You take a deep breath, preparing yourself to re-live through some of those moments. 
You tell her about the time they constantly tripped you while you were walking to your seat in a class you shared with him. You tell her about the time they started rumors about you multiple times. Now, that you’re older, they weren’t that bad, but just the thought of people that stuff about you made you hate half of high school. 
You told her about all the times you heard them whispering, knowing that they were talking about you and feeling tears welling up in your eyes at the snickers you would hear behind you. You stop soon after, biting your lip to calm yourself before your friend asks where was Ukai in all of this.
“He never said anything, and like I said, he was always staring at me whenever I looked at him.” You tell her about the times he would come up to you after class, usually after the bullying, but you didn’t give him a chance to speak, darting out of the room before he could even get your name out.
“Maybe he was trying to apologize,” she offers. “I’m not saying that I’m condoning him sitting there and letting it happen, but I don’t think he hates you like you say he does. At all.”
“Well, he had a lot of time to apologize, and he never did.” Yeah, you’re still hung up about it, and you don’t care if you sound like a child. He was a bystander and still dared to call them his friends and hang out with them after what they did to you.
“Well, I’m not gonna tell you what to do, but if you wanna hear him out, I don’t blame you. But if you don’t, then you could always drop the class and find another one to fill your requirement,” she says. “But, I know you’re not gonna drop, so it’s up to you,” she tacks on, making you frown at her. She smiles at you before she goes back to your textbook, and you can’t help but copy it, standing up and making your way toward your room, but not without playfully shoving her first.
You spend the rest of your night torn between completely ignoring your friend or taking her advice. Not having homework is a good and bad thing because you don’t have anything to distract you from your thoughts. You kill the time by watching a show that you’ve already seen a bunch of times, scrolling through your phone while you sit on your bed. 
Your friend has a point, but there’s a part of you that’s spent a while trying to lock that part of your life away, and you don’t want to go through the trouble of opening it back up again. You don’t know if you’ll be able to handle it when everything you’ve suppressed comes flying out.
When your eyelids start to feel heavy, you decide to call it a night, hoping in the shower before you do your face routine. When you get in bed, you toss and turn for a little bit, hoping that your dilemma stays out of your dreams.
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Wednesday rolls around faster than you’d like, and you find yourself in that class once again in the same seat you picked on the first day of classes. You keep your headphones on as you get comfortable, having about fifteen minutes before class starts. You can feel yourself getting antsier as the class time approaches, wondering if Ukai dropped the class. 
You shrug off your thoughts, questioning in your head why you’re so worried about him in the first place. It doesn’t do much though because you feel your heart start racing when you can see someone sitting next to you in your peripheral. You don’t look, keeping your eyes on your phone, but you decide to switch your attention to your laptop.
You think the professor talks starting, so you turn your headphones off, sliding them off your head. “Good morning.” You hear it almost as soon as you take the headphones off your ears, and it nearly scares you.
“Morning,” you reply softly, glancing to the side to confirm that Ukai is sitting next to you. 
“How was your day yesterday?” he asks, and you shake your head a little as you shrug.
“Uh, it was pretty okay, I guess. It’ll be more hectic next week once my labs start,” you tell him, and it feels weird to be making small talk with him. Your friend’s words echo in your head as you ask him about his day yesterday.
“Mine was pretty okay, too. You know the first week of classes is always dragging.” You give him a nod, deciding to fully turn your head to look at him, but when you see that he’s staring right at you, you quickly look back at your laptop. 
Your professor starts talking, so you attempt to pay attention even though you’re more nervous than you’d like to be. Right as she finishes the discussion about what you’re going to be doing today, someone walks into the class. 
No one notices because they’ve all started talking to themselves in the groups that they’re in, and since you’re sitting in the back right by the door, she catches your attention. You look over her, commenting in your head how pretty her outfit is, but then Ukai quickly averts your attention to him.
“You did the readings, right?” he asks, and you squint at him.
“Did you?” you say right back, and he smiles a little which makes you think about how you’re feeling about that. 
“I did,” he answers confidently before giving you a synopsis of the reading much to your surprise. “I can’t slack off like I did in high school, so I’m trying to start early so I don’t get behind.” His words leave you a little stunned, but before you can even try and form a response, the girl who walked in late walks up to the both of you.
“You don’t mind if I work with you, do you?” She’s only looking at Ukai when she asks, and she must’ve walked up to the professor and had her fill her in on what you’re doing.
“Well, I’m working with her already, so,” he answers, and you make a face when it looks like disdain appears across her face.
“Oh, well, the professor said I could join a group,” she responds, and you can feel the air taking an awkward turn, but you have no idea what to say. Ukai sighs a little, glancing at you before he looks at her.
“Sure, one more doesn’t hurt.” She smiles widely before moving one of the desks closer to him before sitting down, and he leans towards you, which makes you lean back a little. “Are you okay with this?” he whispers.
“Uh, yeah, it’s fine,” you mumble back quickly, overwhelmed by how close he is. It doesn’t look like your words convinced him, but she’s talking to him again, so he doesn’t get a chance to make sure. While he’s talking to her, filling her in on what you’re supposed to be doing, you pull up your annotations from the readings you had to read for this class.
For about ten minutes, absolutely no work gets done because every time Ukai tries to talk to you, she interrupts with questions that have nothing to do with the work. And she’s only talking to him. You have an annoyed look on your face as you stare at your empty word document. Ukai seems to be just annoyed as you, and you truly don’t know why she’s acting like this. You don’t even know her.
You figure that you’re probably not going to get any work done, and by the conversations you’re overhearing from the other groups, they’re not necessarily talking about their group work either. It seems like there’s a lull in the conversation between her and Ukai, so you speak up.
“I like your outfit,” you say, giving her a small smile.
“I didn’t ask.” 
Keishin freezes, his fingers no longer typing on his keyboard, and your face drops. She’s giving you an ugly look, and you’re about to turn and face her, but he stops you by asking you some questions about the work. There’s a look in his eyes that you can’t decipher, but after that, he barely pays attention to her.
Every time she tries to talk, he talks over her, and it’s starting to get to you. “Ukai, it’s okay,” you say softly, and you don’t need to say it that loud because he’s practically in your space, moving over whenever she moved closer to him.
“No, it’s not,” he grits, and you never knew that fifty minutes could be so long. You managed to get some of your document filled, and you start to pack your stuff up once there are about five minutes left in class. You wish you could be out of here sooner. The girl continues to talk now that Ukai isn’t occupied anymore, and you can’t even bring yourself to look their way.
You feel a pit forming in your stomach at what she said to you, her attitude not sitting right with you, but you don’t want to say anything to her. The other part of you just wants to get out of her, and you refuse to let her ruin the rest of your day. Your professor lets the class out a little early once she sees that everyone is finishing up, and since your backpack is already packed, you quickly stand.
Ukai stands up almost at the same time you do, way faster. “So, I was wondering–” The girl is standing as well, and she’s still talking to him. 
“I didn’t ask.” You choke a bit at Ukai’s sudden response, turning your head to look away as you try to hold in your laugh, but not before you can catch her stunned reaction. You jump when he grabs your hand and pulls you out of the room ahead of everyone else. You have to walk a little faster to keep up with him, and he doesn’t let your hand go until you’re both well away from the building.
“Are you okay?” he asks, slowing his steps.
“Yeah, I’m fine. Why wouldn’t I be okay?” you say. “I’m a little pissed, yeah, but I’m not stressed over it.” He doesn’t say anything in return, and the silence allows you to remember that he’s still holding your hand. 
You feel your face grow warm as you slightly tug, and he feels it, letting go of your hand immediately. “Sorry about that,” he chuckles, rubbing the back of his neck.
“Don’t worry about it,” you say lightly even though your body isn’t taking it so lightly. You grab your hand gently, rubbing over your palm as if you’re missing the feeling of his hand against yours. 
“So, it looks like you’re done for the day,” he says without missing a beat, and you frown a bit before you quickly remember that you lied to him about your schedule. 
“Oh, yeah,” you respond slowly, wondering if you want to come clean about it. “I would be, but I do have another class in an hour. My professor canceled the class on Monday for some reason.” You don’t know why you’re telling him this, and there’s a small part of you that regrets it the moment you do.
“Really? What class is it?”
“Uh, quantitative chemistry.”
“Oof, sounds hard,” he grimaces, and you chuckle a little, shaking your head a little.
“I don’t think it’ll be that bad, hopefully. Math wasn’t always my best, but it’s stuff I already learned so I should be fine.” You try not to focus on how close he is to you as you walk, and you know there’s no reason for him to be since the foot traffic isn’t bad. “Do you have anything else today?” you ask, trying to use conversation as a way to keep your thoughts quiet.
“Yeah, I have a stats class in an hour as well,” he sighs.
“God, I do not miss taking that. I’m glad I’m done with it.”
“Lucky you then,” he jests, nudging you with his shoulder. “I absolutely suck at math, so this won’t be fun.” You open your mouth getting ready to say that you remember that from high school, but you quickly shut it. You don’t need to expose yourself anymore.
“It might not be that bad, you’re given the formulas on the exams anyways.” 
“Well, if I ever have trouble, I know to call you.”
“Right,” you mumble. The conversation thankfully stops without being awkward, but you don’t want to listen to your head right now. There’s so much going on, your brain is trying to process too much, so you try to think about where you’re going to kill time until your next class.
“Are you gonna be getting food again today?” he asks after a while even though you’re not walking anywhere near the student union. Which makes you notice that he’s just been walking wherever you’re going.
You shake your head. “No, I ate a pretty big breakfast today, so I’m just gonna find somewhere to sit while I wait for my next class.” 
“You mind if I join you?” You hesitate for a split second before you answer.
“If you want to,” you say, leaving it at that as you try not to reveal how you’re feeling. But hell, you don’t even know how you’re feeling about this.
You find a place outside since it’s nice and not too hot to sit at, and it’s an equal distance for both of you from your next class. Since you already have assignments due for your classes, you try to get a headstart on it, so you pull out your notes and laptop to get started on that. 
Ukai sits across from you, and it takes everything in you to not look at him. He’s on his phone for a while that you can see from your peripheral, but then he’s on his laptop soon after that. You get into your work, finding a groove, and you’re almost done with most of it when you hear someone call Ukai’s name.
Both of you look up, and your heart drops when your eyes land on the owner of the voice. You quickly put your head down, hoping that your undivided attention on your laptop screen will cause him not to notice you. You swallow heavily as they greet each other, and you look at the time to see that you still have twenty minutes until your class starts.
You try to pack up some of your stuff since you’re done anyway, but then you feel your body run cold when Ukai says your name. “You remember her, right?” You hesitantly look up, and you can feel all of the emotions that you’ve been trying to suppress bubble over.
The guy says your name again in disbelief before recognition goes across his face. “Wow, it is you! I almost didn’t recognize you,” he laughs, and you wait for it. “You aren’t as ugly as you were in high school.” There it is.
You barely smile at him because there’s no way you can laugh that off, and you see Ukai frown deeply, turning to the guy, you start to close your laptop. “I’m gonna head out,” you start, and Ukai tries to stop you, but the guy won’t shut up about how much you’ve changed, calling you the names he called you back then, and you can feel yourself starting to break down.
“Don’t leave,” Ukai says, catching your hand before you can put your stuff in your bag. 
“Yeah, we have to stay and catch up,” the guy buds in, and you know there isn’t a smile on your face when you look at him.
“You can go,” Ukai orders, keeping his hand on yours, and this situation is so awkward and embarrassing, but your body is frozen at Keishin’s words. The guy tries to laugh Ukai’s sudden change in attitude off, not even the slightest put off by him. 
“Come on, man. This is hilarious, no? You remember how much she–”
“I remember how much I wanted to beat your ass,” Ukai states. “Now leave before I do.” You try to keep your breathing even as you look around. No one was around to hear the conversation, but some people are looking as they walk to wherever they are going. The guy stops smiling, looking at Ukai like he’s grown a second head.
“Are you serious right now?” the guy questions incredulously as he looks at you. “Don’t tell me you’re feeling this bitch–”
Ukai is on his feet in a split second, grabbing the guy by the collar of his shirt. “You have two seconds to move your ass before I do it for you. You apologize to her now, and I never want to see your face again.” 
Your body is shaking so badly, you feel like you could cry, and you flinch a little when Ukai tightens his grip on his shirt, shaking him just a little. “I’m not playing around here. Apologize. Now.”
“Ukai, it’s okay, he doesn’t have to–” you try, but he doesn’t even look at you, pulling the guy closer to him and nearly off of his feet.
“Yes. He. Does.” 
“Okay, okay. Just chill,” the guy pleads, and Keishin lets his grip loose just a little, but he doesn’t let him go. “I’m sorry, okay?” At this point, you don’t care for his half-assed apology, but the high school part of you is feeling a rush from hearing him say those words.
“Mean it,” he says angrily, and the guy turns to look at you.
“I’m sorry,” he says, but that doesn’t satisfy Ukai.
“For?”
“For messing with you. I’m sorry for what I just said. I was just fucking around in high school, and I didn’t mean any of the things I said. I promise,” he rushes out, and you’d never thought you’d hear that from him. You’re so overwhelmed with emotions right now, that you don’t say anything, but Ukai lets the guy go with a rough shove.
“Get the fuck out of my face,” he hisses, and the guy fixes his shirt, giving Ukai a searing glare, but he walks off without another word. You take a deep breath when he disappears out of sight, and you jump a bit when Ukai’s next to you. “Are you okay? I’m sorry you had to see that.”
“I’m fine,” you breathe, finally looking at Ukai, and you don’t think you’ve ever seen him look so worried. His hands are on your shoulders, and you give him a smile to try and lessen his worries. “I’m fine. I just thought I’d never see him again,” you say with an airy chuckle, and when you start to relax, he lets his hands slide off of you, but you’re still a little frazzled to notice how long they take to leave your body.
Ukai goes to say something, but you check the time on your phone to see that you don’t have a lot of time until your next class. “Oh, we have to go,” you say softly, packing up your stuff. Ukai stands there, watching you, and you turn to him once you have your backpack on your shoulders. “Thanks, Ukai,” you say softly.
“Of course,” he says just as softly, and you return the smile he gives you. “You go on ahead, I’ll see you on Friday.” You nod, walking off, and he watches you go. He sighs as he starts to pack his stuff up. There’s so much he wanted to say to you. 
Maybe next time.
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You’re a month into the semester, and your work is already stockpiling. You try to get ahead of it, but it always ends up catching up to you. You’ve piled up on your classes this semester, and you’re starting to hate your past self for doing that. The class you have with Ukai is the only class where the workload isn’t the heaviest, but it still takes a hefty amount of time to do the work for it. 
The readings that you have to read before class have gotten longer, and you just barely have enough time to read them. You’re dragging ass when you get to class on Monday, feeling like you might fall asleep at your desk when you sit down. You’re surprised you managed to even remember bringing all of your stuff for class today, and Ukai sits next to you as you slowly take your stuff out of your bag.
“Rough night?” you barely hear him ask, and it takes you a while to blink, your eyelids feeling like they’re tied to weights.
“Something like that,” you whisper before you rub your eyes. “My workload is a bitch especially with midterms coming up, so I’m not getting a lot of sleep.” You yawn as you rest your chin on your hand. He doesn’t say anything else, and the professor starts talking, but he keeps his eyes on you while she does.
You rub your hand over your face, even drinking water to try and keep yourself awake. You feel like you might cry when she announces that you’re going to be presenting in front of the class about the readings you’re doing. Ukai watches you make a face at her words, and then he notices that you’re still working on things all the while. 
But when the class breaks off to do work, you immediately start talking about the readings that you had to do for the class. He wants to ask about how you’re doing, but he doesn’t think he’ll get the chance. His concern is only fueled when you keep having to stop to think about what you’re saying. He ends up doing most of the work, which he doesn’t mind, and it seems like class flies by in a blur. 
You and Ukai will have to present at least twice this semester, the first presentation being next week, which means you’ll have to get started on your papers now. When class is dismissed, he waits for you to pack up your stuff, and he can tell that you’re really tired especially since you’re not walking as fast as you usually do.
“So, are you going to be free any time to work on this?” he asks you once you’re both walking outside. 
“It’s gonna have to be at the end of the week. I’m gonna try and get as much work done as I can so I can focus on this. Sorry.”
“You don’t have to apologize, I can make it work.”
“We can try and start on it now while we wait for our next class if you want to,” you offer, and you both find a spot inside this time since it looks like it might rain, which doesn’t help your grogginess. Ukai sits next to you, but you’re too tired to freak out about it. He starts talking about the readings that you have to do, and what you could potentially write about in your paper.
You don’t know if it’s because you’ve chosen a pretty quiet spot, or if it’s his voice, but something starts to put you to sleep. Ukai can see your head bobbing every time you doze off, but he doesn’t say anything, continuing to talk about the material, and while you start to doze off again, he lets his hand gently guide it to his shoulder.
You don’t protest, going without a fight, and he looks down at you, only stopping when he realizes he’s been staring at you too long. He continues working, making sure not to move his arm too much so that he doesn’t wake you, and he opens up another document, typing up stuff that you could add to your paper.
When it’s almost time for you to go, he hesitates to wake you up because you look like you need sleep, but he knows you’d kill him for not waking you up in time for class. He gently shakes you, and you wake up with a start, looking around. You calm down instantly when you look at Ukai, looking at his laptop screen before sighing.
“God, Ukai, I am so sorry,” you say, rubbing your head. “I didn’t mean to fall asleep on you.”
“Don’t sweat it. I wrote down some ideas for you to start with,” he tells you. “I’ll send it to you later. You gotta get to class.” 
“Thank you so much. I owe you.” You don’t have to put your stuff up since you didn’t even get the chance to take anything out, and you stand up, stretching when you stand up fully. You check the time on your phone, putting a little pep in your step since you feel a bit energized as you start to walk away. You turn to wave to him as you leave, and the smile doesn’t leave his face even when you’re gone.
“Should’ve taken a picture,” he mumbles.
~
When you get home, you all but drag yourself to your room. You change your clothes before flopping down on your bed, and sleep is calling your name, but if you go to sleep now, you’ll mess up your schedule. You lift yourself when you hear a knock on your door while you let your roommate know that she can come in.
“Are you getting enough sleep?” she questions the moment she walks in. She sits down at your desk with a feigned stern look, already knowing the answer.
“I’ll try tonight. I just have a lot of work this week. And now I have to write a paper to present with Ukai next week,” you groan, and your roommate raises her eyebrows.
“Ukai? Haven’t heard his name since you mentioned him,” she says. “How’s all that going?”
“It’s going, I guess. I don’t know what you want me to say.” You think about how your head was on his shoulder earlier, and you feel your face start to warm, and your roommate notices the change.
“Yeah, okay. You’re not fooling me. What’s up with you two?”
“Nothing!” you exclaim. “I think,” you add softly, ultimately sighing in defeat, and your roommate moves to sit next to you on your bed, very invested. “I mean, we’ve been hanging on a lot during our breaks in-between classes. And I fell asleep on his shoulder today,” you say, grimacing at the thought.
“So, what? Do you like him or something?”
“I don’t know,” you answer honestly. “I kinda had a crush on him in high school, but it was mostly bittersweet because he was always there whenever I was being messed with. Speaking of, I saw one of the guys a while ago.”
“What?” your roommate says, her mouth open. “What happened?”
“Ukai threatened him and had him apologize to me,” you laugh which you can do now that the situation is behind you.
“Shit, girl, you don’t think he’s into you too, right?”
“No,” you respond quickly with a shake of your head. “There’s no way he likes me now or back then. It doesn’t make any sense.”
“Don’t say that,” she tries. “I feel like there might be something there.”
“Maybe,” you say reluctantly. “I just don’t wanna read anything wrong.”
“I don’t think you are. I feel like he might have a thing for you. He has had a thing for you.” You try not to fall too deep into her words, but with the way he’s been acting, it doesn’t sound totally out of the ordinary. “Just keep me updated, I’m invested in your love story now.”
“Don’t call it that!” You shove her playfully as both of you laugh, and she gets off your bed, heading to the door. 
“Don’t stay up too late, okay?” she says before she closes the door. Once it gets quiet, you begrudgingly decide to start on your work, so you move to your desk, starting on your chemistry homework since that’s what’s taking you so much time.
You play some music to help you focus, and you try to get into study mode. Which takes you a lot longer than it should because your head is focused on a certain someone. You groan softly as you let your head fall on your desk. Maybe if you think about it now, it’ll help you focus.
You definitely had some feelings for Ukai back then. You thought he was really cute, he actually is still very much cute. He looks even better now than he did in high school. But you were never confident enough to even start a conversation with him all through high school. You shared the same classes, but you just kept it to yourself. Not even your high school friends knew how you felt about him.
But then those feelings started to fade a bit when the guys he hung out with started to bully you. You mostly felt anger at first, but then it turned to hurt and a little bit of betrayal because the guy you liked wasn’t doing anything to stop what was happening. And then you hated yourself for being a damsel in distress. Once the bullying seemed to die down by the time you were in your last year, you were “over” him.
You didn’t have nearly as many feelings for him, they were still there, but you sort of suppressed them. And then you attempted to get rid of them when you got to college because you were under the notion that you would never see him again. But of course, you had to run into him, and now those feelings are starting to bloom again.
You never once thought that he reciprocated his feelings, and you never talked to him because it seemed like the only time he was going to say something to you was after his friends did, and the last thing you wanted to do was talk to him. 
“Okay, that’s enough,” you say to yourself, picking up your pencil and trying to get back to where you were. Right as you’re about to start another problem, your phone stops playing music and then your ringtone follows. You pick it up to see who’s calling, and you feel your heart start racing when you see that it’s Ukai.
You were thinking about him, and now he’s calling you. You don’t wait to answer it, putting it on speaker as you set the phone back down. “You cut off my music,” you say lightly, and you bite your lip a little when you hear his laugh come through the phone.
“Sorry. I just wanted to check on you. Making sure you’re giving yourself a break,” he says, and your roommate’s words start to play in your mind.
“I actually haven’t been working for that long,” you say, but then you look at the clock, seeing how much time has passed.
“Really? When did you start?” he questions, and when you go silent, he chuckles again. “Okay, so that means you need to take a break.”
“Okay, fine,” you relent. “Is that all you were calling about?”
“Maybe I just wanted to hear your voice.” You don’t know how to respond to that, his words making you silent again. “I was having trouble focusing so I thought you might be able to help me.”
“And how would I be able to do that?” you ask, trying to calm your racing heart. 
“Don’t know,” he answers, which makes you roll your eyes. “I guess I could try and listen to music like you.”
“You should, it helps.”
“I’d rather talk to you,” he replies almost too fast.
“But I don’t think it’s helping you,” you chuckle. “It just sounds like I’m distracting you.”
“I’m okay with that.” You put your hand over your mouth to stop yourself from screaming. What is happening right now? 
“So, you called me just to distract you then?” you ask after your quick freak out.
“Yeah,” he answers quickly. “Work doesn’t seem so bad now that I’m talking to you.” 
You can’t help but laugh. “Well, obviously. A lot of people would rather be doing anything else other than work.���
He goes silent for a second, and you’re about to ask him if he’s still there, but he talks before you can. “Am I being too much of a distraction?”
You let a shy smile appear on your face as you shake your head even though he can’t see you. “No, you’re not. I like talking to you,” you say, feeling your face warm.
“Good. I like talking to you too,” he says, and you quietly laugh, but you stop the urge to kick your feet like you’re in high school. Time seems to fly by as you talk to Ukai, and you’re having such a good time that you don’t even notice that it has until your roommate knocks on your door.
“Hey, girl, I was checking on you. You haven’t come out of your room,” she says, peeking her head into your room.
“I’m taking breaks, don’t worry,” you tell her, hoping that she won’t see that you’re on the phone with Ukai. “I’ll probably finish up here soon.” That seems to be enough to convince her because she gives you a smile and a goodnight before she closes the door.
“Sorry, that was my roommate,” you tell him.
“Don’t worry about it. Glad to know you have someone that’s making sure you’re taking care of yourself.”
“Yeah, she’s like my mom,” you laugh.
“I didn’t mean to keep you on the phone this long, you probably got no work done,” he says.
“I actually did. So, talking to you helped after all.”
“Well, you’re welcome,” he jokes, and you roll your eyes. “...I don’t wanna hang up,” he whispers after he goes silent, and in your head, you agree. 
“Well,” you start. “I could call you after I get out of the shower,” you offer, and your eyes dart around to the things on your desk as you wait for his answer.
“Yeah. That sounds good. I’ll be waiting.” 
“Okay, well, I’ll talk to you soon.” You hang up the phone, and you have to get it out, so you do a little happy dance before you calm yourself down. You jump violently when your door burst open.
“I knew you were talking to him!” your roommate yells. “You can’t fool me!”
“Thank you for giving me a heart attack,” you sigh, grabbing your phone and standing up.
“So, what’s going on now? A date?” she presses, and you scoff as you shake your head.
“Absolutely nothing of the sort. I’m getting in the shower,” you say, pushing her out of your room so you can get ready.
“Yeah, okay. You better keep me posted,” she tells you again, and you shake your head before closing the door. 
You shower quickly, washing your face, and brushing your teeth before you get in bed. You wait for a little just in case he might be showering too, and it takes you a while to even call him at that. Your finger hovers over the call button in your recents until you finally press it. It doesn’t even ring twice before he picks up.
“I missed you.”
“It hasn’t even been that long,” you say, a laugh leaving your chest against your will.
“Doesn’t matter,” he tells you softly as you start to get comfortable. “You laying down?”
“Yes, I am. I might fall asleep on you if I’m being honest,” you say, a yawn following right after.
“That’s okay. You need to get your sleep.” 
Ukai ends up doing most of the talking which is fine by him, and he can’t help but smile to himself when he hears your responses turning into soft hums. A part of him wishes he would’ve video called you so that he could see you, but he’ll take this for now. He stops talking once he can hear you softly snoring, but he doesn’t hang up. 
Sleep is right behind him, so he rolls over on his side, getting more comfortable. “Goodnight,” he tells you even though you can’t hear him, and it’s not long until he’s asleep himself.
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You had gotten enough work done this week that you had enough time to work on your presentation with Ukai. You decided to meet up at his place this weekend, and you feel so conflicted with yourself as you stand in front of your mirror trying to figure out what to wear.
“Why am I being like this?” you mumble to yourself. You’ve been trying to tell yourself not to worry about it and just put on some clothes, but there’s a part of you that has too much of a say to let you do just that. You’ve put on and taken off so many clothes, the pile on your bed and floor only increasing. 
You don’t have time for this, having only about twenty minutes before you have to get there. Ukai lives pretty close to campus while you have to drive back and forth between your apartment and campus. That’s something you and your roommate hate, so you’re currently looking for a new place for next school year. 
You groan out loud as the voice in your head tells you that you don’t like the outfit you have on. You jump when you hear a knock on your door, and the familiar sight of your roommate peeking her head in fills your eyes. “You okay?”
“Yeah, of course,” you say, but she’s always been good at reading you, and she frowns before pushing the door open further. Her eyebrows crease when she sees that your room looks like your closet exploded. 
“You’re worried about what you’re wearing? You going somewhere special or something?” she questions instantly, but even the question doesn’t give you enough time to come up with a lie, because she quickly puts two and two together. “Don’t tell me you’re going on a date.”
“It’s not a date,” you emphasize. “We’re just working on a presentation we have to do on Monday.”
“Well, where are you meeting him?” she asks, and you look away from her, hesitant to answer. “His place?” she says when you don’t respond, and your reaction to the next question is all she needs to know the answer. “This is news to me! Why didn’t you tell me?!”
“Because I knew you were gonna make a big deal about it, and I didn’t wanna psych myself out.”
“Okay, okay. Relax, y/n,” she says, putting her hands on your shoulders. “There’s nothing to be worried about. I won’t make a big deal about it because it isn’t if you think about it. It’s just two people working on a project,” she offers, and that perspective does make you feel better. “It’s only a big deal if you make it, and it’s not like it’s gonna be awkward. You both have been in close proximity before,” she adds, and you admit in your head that she’s right.
“I guess you have a point,” you say, but you’re still looking around at all of the clothes you’ve put on. 
“But, I can help you with an outfit,” she smiles, and you roll your eyes. 
“You just said it wasn’t that big of a deal.”
“Okay, yeah, but that doesn’t mean you can’t dress up a little. You’re going out, why wouldn’t you?” she says, and you chuckle a bit, starting to consider if her words are a contradiction to what she just said, but you let her do it anyway. 
While she’s going through your clothes, you quickly text Ukai to tell him that you’re running a little late, and you can’t help but smile when he responds almost instantly telling you it’s no big deal. Maybe you are overthinking this whole thing. 
“Okay, here ya go.” You look up to see her holding one of your worn t-shirts, and some shorts, but when you look at which ones she’s holding, you put your hands on your hips.
“I am not wearing those shorts,” you tell her, taking the shirt from her and slipping it on. 
“Why not? It’s hot outside, you don’t wanna be sweaty when you get there,” she tries, but you’re not buying it.
“I only wear those around the house,” you argue.
“And you will be around the house! His house,” she says, and you’re starting to realize that you don’t have time for this, but you know that you won’t be able to pick out anything else to wear.
“Fine. I’m only putting them on because I don’t have time,” you say, taking them from her, and she walks out to let you change into them. They’re not that short, but they’re short enough, and seeing that you only have about ten minutes to leave, you can’t waste time debating over what to wear.
You put your shoes on, making sure that you have everything before putting your backpack on. You walk out, tugging on the shorts when you feel like they’re starting to ride up, and you all but glare at your roommate as you walk towards the door. 
“Have fun!” she beams, and you squint your eyes at her.
“Mm-hmm,” you mumble. “I’ll be back later tonight.” You both say goodbye, and you close the door, locking it behind you, putting some pep in your step on your way to your car.
You know where his apartment is, so you make your way over there, and you try to repeat your roommate’s words in your head when you feel yourself starting to get nervous. You know there’s no reason for you to be nervous, but you can’t help it. You know that you’re feelings for him are starting to come back, and there’s a part of you that’s trying to fight it, but so far, suppressing things hasn’t been the easiest thing to do.
Your roommate swears that he’s into you, which doesn’t really help your case, but those words alone are enough to make you sweat. You don’t know how you would feel if he felt the same way. You’ve felt something for him for almost all of high school, and if you think about it, those feelings never really left when you got to college. 
You text him as soon as you park, and he meets you outside of his apartment. “Sorry, I’m running late,” you tell him when you get to him.
“Don’t worry about it,” he says, and you follow him into the building and up the stairs to his apartment. You pick at your phone case as you will your heart to stop racing because you know it’s not from taking the stairs. 
You follow him inside, and you look around, taking in the room. He mentioned having a roommate, but he said he wouldn’t be here while you guys were working. You take your shoes off once you get in, and you see that he already has everything set up on the dining table. It almost has the same layout as your apartment except it’s much nicer. In the back of your head, you think to mention this place to your friend and see if she’d like it.
“Okay, so I’ve already finished my paper, but I wanted you to read over it just to make sure that ours don’t overlap,” he says when he sits down. 
You sit down in the chair next to him, taking your backpack off so that you can get your laptop out. “That sounds good, but I’ll admit I haven’t written most of it,” you admit shyly, and he waves you off.
“That’s okay. It shouldn’t take you that long anyway,” he reassures, and you pull up the half-written document. You read over his, and you’re relieved that he ended up talking about something completely different from yours. You tell him what you want to talk about for your presentation, and he helps you out by pulling up the reading and offering what parts of it you could pull from. 
Writing your paper takes about an hour, and then you both work on the PowerPoint slides you have to have with questions to ask the class about the readings. Your stomach grumbles suddenly once you’re finishing up, and that’s when you remember that you forgot to eat while you were panicking about what to wear.
“Sorry,” you laugh, and he laughs under his breath.
“I’m getting hungry too,” he says. “There are places around here that we could eat at if you’re okay with that.”
“Yeah, I’m good with that.” You both put your shoes on, and you follow him out onto the street, and there’s a bunch of places that are within walking distance where you could eat. You don’t care where to eat, so you agree on the first place that he offers. You’ve never been there before, but Ukai reassures you that it’s good. You both talk about anything and everything as you walk to the place, and when you get inside, it’s super packed.
“I guess it is dinner time,” he says as he takes the place in. “We can just take it to-go if that’s okay with you?” he offers, and you nod, in no mood to oppose as you look at how many people are in here. Ukai orders first, and instead of paying, he turns to you. “What do you want?” he asks, and you tell him, but then he’s repeating your order to the person at the register, and you realize what he’s doing.
“Ukai, you don’t have to pay,” you try, but he just shrugs you off. You try to memorize the price as you both move to the side while you wait for your food. “I’ll pay you back.”
“Seriously, y/n. Don’t worry about it,” he tells you again, but you don’t look very convinced. “How about you pay me back by helping me with my stats homework?”
“That doesn’t sound like a fair trade.”
“It does to me. I didn’t do well on the first exam, and I need some serious help,” he explains, and you decide that he’s not going to let you pay him back, so you give up.
“Fine. I’ll help you out then.” The smile he gives you makes your heart flutter, and you don’t get much time to take in how you feel because your food is ready. 
You walk back to his apartment, and you silently thank your friend for picking out shorts because even though the sun is starting to go down, the air is still really warm. You aren’t walking that fast, so luckily you’re not a sweating mess when you get back to his apartment. 
You push your work aside so that you can eat at the table, and he puts on a show that he’s been watching for a while. You’ve never seen it, and when you tell him, he looks at you like you’ve offended him terribly. He starts the show over for you, and it seems like a pretty good show, and you make a note of the name so you can continue to watch it. 
You finish eating in the middle of the first season, and you both move to the couch so you can finish it. Ukai tells you that he’ll start on the work once it’s over, and you wonder if he actually means that. Your focus on the show starts to waver when you notice how close he’s sitting to you. He’s wearing shorts, so when his leg brushes against yours, it sends goosebumps across your skin. You try to pay attention because you don’t want to miss anything, but it’s even more difficult when he places his arm on the back of the couch behind you.
You don’t think it’s a cliche move because you look at him from the corner of your eye, and he’s completely engrossed in the show even though he’s seen it probably a million times. You realize how tense you are, and you try to relax, but that means you’d be relaxing into him, and you don’t want to make anything awkward. 
You decide to rub over your arms since it’ll keep you from touching him. “Are you cold?” he asks, and you turn your head to him quickly.
“No, no. I’m fine,” you say with a shake of your head, and you quickly turn back to the TV, but you can see him looking over you, so you put your hands on your lap. He finally follows your gaze, and you release a breath you didn’t know you were holding.
The last episode of the season plays, and Ukai groans loudly. “Guess I have to do my homework now,” he says to your surprise. You guess he was serious about actually doing his work. 
“Can I use your bathroom?” you ask, standing up and feeling relieved that you’re not sitting directly next to him anymore.
“Yeah, my room’s right there,” he says, pointing at the right door. He’s been fighting it since you got here, but he watches you walk away, and his eyes slide up your legs. He can see some of your ass peeking out from your shorts before you pull them down, and he sighs softly to himself as he diverts his eyes. 
He turns his head quickly before he stands and turns the TV off. He sits down at the table while he gets his stuff out, and he hears you come back into the room. You sit down next to him, and he shows you one of the problems that he’s struggling with. You move your seat closer to his so that you don’t have to lean over, and he immediately thinks about how good you smell.
He noticed when he was sitting next to you, and that’s when he also noticed that he had put his arm behind you. He didn’t move his arm because he didn’t want it to be awkward, but he had to strongly fight the urge to pull you into him. He felt his hair stand up on end whenever he accidentally brushed against you, and the entire time he thought about if he should say something to you.
“Keishin.” His eyes snap to yours, realizing that he was just staring at his notebook. “Are you okay?” you ask softly.
“Yeah, I’m fine. Sorry, I just got lost in thought,” he says, giving a smile so that he doesn’t have to explain that he was daydreaming about you.
“Don’t worry about the exam. I’m sure you’ll do fine.” 
“Of course, I will. I have you to help me,” he says, thankful that you think he’s stressed about the exam. His smile widens when yours does, and he feels so much right now that he almost opens his mouth, but then you’re turning your attention back to the work. So, he clears his thoughts and decides to focus on his work too.
He’s relieved when he realizes that he’s not doing as bad as he thought, he was just having some trouble remembering when to do what. You have him go over it multiple times, and it helps, and when you think he’s ready, you have him try some practice problems.
He’s definitely nervous to try them out, but your reassurance is what gets him to try them. You busy yourself with some other classwork, and he’s grateful because he doesn’t know what he’d be able to do if you were watching him. He makes sure to check over his work, even putting his work through the calculator more than once to make sure that he’s getting the same answer as before.
He lets you know that he’s finished, and his professor added the answers to the questions, so you look over his work and the answers. He fiddles with his pencil in nervousness and anticipation as he watches you check. It feels like it takes forever and it almost kills him, but then you finally look up at him.
“You did really well! There’s a couple that you messed up on, but other than that, I’d say that you’d got this stuff down.” He takes a breath of relief, running his hand down his chest as he leans back in his seat.
“Thank God,” he breathes. 
“You just have to trust yourself. You know what you’re doing, just don’t get nervous,” you tell him. “I know when I do that, I end up freaking myself out so much that I start to forget things.”
“Thank you so much. I owe you one.”
“Don’t worry about it. It’s definitely not something I understood at first, so I’m happy to help.” At your words, for some reason, he feels like you might be about to leave, and he selfishly doesn’t want that to happen.
“Do you mind checking over my work again? I wanna go through some more just in case,” he tries, and he tightens his grip on his pencil, hoping you say yes.
“Of course. While you’re working, I’m getting work done too, so it’s a win-win,” you answer, and he’s never felt more elated. He nods, getting to work on more problems, and you switch your attention back to the work you were doing. 
You get up to go to the bathroom again, and you stretch when you do, and Ukai’s eyes catch on your shorts again. He diverts his eyes as soon as you walk out of his line of sight, and he shakes his head. Focus. He sighs, getting back on track, and finishes the problem with ease. He gets to the next one though, and he’s stuck.
He tries to do it himself, but when he feels like he’s not doing something right, he stops so that he doesn’t get too far ahead of himself. Luckily, you come back when he stops, so he asks you right before you sit back down.
“I just wanna make sure I’m starting this right,” he says, and you put your hand on the back of his chair before you lean down to see what he’s doing. You lean down a little bit more to look at his work, and he holds the urge to flinch when your shirt brushes against his ear. He takes a deep breath in, your scent filling his nose, and he desperately wants to know what it is. 
He thinks it might be like shea butter or something but before he can get a chance to investigate further, you break him out of his thoughts. “Yeah, you’re fine. Looks good to me,” you say, and he makes the mistake of turning to look up at you.
He was going to say something, but the words die in his throat when he looks at your face. He gets lost in your eyes and the curve of your lips, and he can’t look away. He looks back at your eyes, and to his surprise, you’re looking at his lips too. He has half a mind to just say fuck it and lean in, but then he feels you rub at his back.
“Have more confidence in yourself, Keishin,” you say, smiling at him before you move to sit back down. He’s glad that there doesn’t seem to be any awkward air between the two of you, and he realizes that his heart is racing when he looks back at his work. It feels like the motion of your hand rubbing his back is burned into his skin, and he would give anything to feel it again.
Ukai yawns as he finishes the last of the problems, and he passes the notebook to you. He rubs over his eyes as you look over them, and it doesn’t take you long to look through them. “You did great. You got all of them right,” you say with a yawn.
“I guess we better call it a night,” he says around a laugh that you copy, but then he looks at the time. “Shit, I didn’t mean to keep you here so late.”
You blink sleepily as you yawn again, looking at the time. “Oh, God. I didn’t even know I was here for that long,” you hum.
He once again doesn’t want you to leave. “You can sleep here for the night if you want, I’ll sleep on the couch,” he offers, and at the same time, you look like you could fall asleep any minute now.
“I couldn’t take your bed,” you try, but you end up yawning again.
“Seriously. It’s the least I could for keeping you here so long.” He’s really tired himself. He woke early this morning to make sure that his apartment was spotless. He’s never done so much cleaning, but he won’t tell you that.
Surprisingly, you don’t put up much of a fight, but he can’t really blame you. “Alright,” you say. “Do you have an extra toothbrush?” 
“Yeah, of course. Just let me use the bathroom first,” he answers, and you give him a nod, turning to your work to finish it up. He mildly panics when he gets to his room because he didn’t think about changing his sheets. He quickly uses the bathroom, brushing his teeth after, and tries his hardest to change his sheets as fast as he can. 
He’s nearly sweating by the end of it, but he can proudly say that he set a record for himself. He kicks the dirty sheets into his closet before grabbing the toothbrush and setting it on the bathroom counter. If you noticed that he was gone for so long, you don’t question it, which he’s grateful for even though he prepared a lie just in case. 
“My room’s all yours,” he jokes, and you can’t help but laugh before you stand. You yawn again as you stretch, and Ukai finally fights the urge to look over your body again. 
“Are you sure it’s okay if I sleep in your room? I can sleep on the couch, I don’t mind.”
“Yes, it’s fine. You look more tired than me right now. I’ll be fine,” he says, and you give him a sleepy smile that only strengthens his words. 
“Well, thanks. Goodnight, Keishin.”
“Goodnight,” he echoes, and there’s a part of him that’s ecstatic that he gets to say it to you in person, and he ignores the pang in his chest that he can’t be laying next to you as he says it. You walk to his room, and he watches until you softly close the door. He already grabbed a pillow from his bed before he walked out, so he throws that onto the couch.
He has a blanket on the couch, so he lays down, throwing it over himself and he tries to get comfortable. This couch isn’t the most comfortable, and he’s fallen asleep on it before, but there was no way he was going to ask you if you wanted to share a bed with him. He finds himself thinking about what would’ve happened if you had said yes.
His thoughts start to derail right after that, and he groans before deciding to turn on the TV. It’s the only way he’ll be able to keep his thoughts at bay. He turns the volume down, and he puts on a show that he can fall asleep to. Of course, it only works for so long. He hasn’t heard you say his first name at all. Today was the first time, and he can’t help but smile widely at the thought. 
He always wanted to say something to you in high school, but you never gave him the time of day. Now that he thinks about it, he doesn’t blame you at all. His friends weren’t kind to you at all, and he doesn’t even think he would call them friends. His real friends were in different classes with him, and he really only hung with them after school or on the weekends.
There were times that he told them to stop messing with you, and they took it as him having a crush on you, which was very much true, but he didn’t want that getting out, so he kept his mouth shut. Seeing you again and spending so much time with you has made him realize how stupid he was. He was more worried about himself than you, someone that he really liked, and he hates himself every time he thinks about it.
He hopes one day he’ll get the courage to tell you everything. Right now, he’s more than content with having what he has with you, and he doesn’t want to say anything to ruin that. He definitely wants to come clean about high school, there’s no doubt about it. But there is doubt if you’ll even talk to him after he reveals everything.
He plays back your first interaction in his head every night before he goes to sleep. At first, it kept him up at night. You had every right to act as you did towards him, and he tried to play it cool while he was with you, but after you left, he felt like total shit. He put his number in your phone to see how you would react, and he was more than relieved when you kept talking to him.
As he starts to fall asleep, he thinks about what he’s going to say to you. He hopes that when he finally gets the confidence and the chance, he won’t mess it up. He tries to rehearse it in his head, but he falls asleep as soon as he starts.
He doesn’t know how long he’s been asleep, but as he starts to wake up, he hears a familiar voice. “Dude, why are you sleeping on the couch? Get in your bed.” He recognizes that it’s his roommate, but that’s about all he can register. He was a lot more tired than he thought. 
He groggily makes his way to his room, and even in the dark, he can easily locate his bed, like it’s calling to him. He sheds his shirt and nearly sighs in comfort at the relief he feels when his body hits the bedsheets. He notices that he can’t stretch out like he wants to, but he’s starting to fall asleep, so he doesn’t worry about it that much. His bed also isn’t cold like it should be, but he gladly accepts the warmth, wrapping his arm around the pillow, and it takes no time for him to fall back asleep.
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Ukai notices that the sun is peeking through the blinds as he starts to wake up. He takes a deep breath in, and he swears his nostrils fill with your scent, but this time he’s getting something different. Mango, maybe? He leans further into it, taking another deep breath, and whatever the source may be is soft against his face. He could stay here forever.
He tightens his arm around his pillow, settling in again as the smell starts to put him back to sleep. But he frowns when he faintly notices that his pillow is moving. He slowly opens his eyes, and his heart drops when he realizes that it hasn’t been a pillow all along. His eyes widen when he sees you laying in his arm, and his heart begins to race. 
You’re looking right at him, but there’s nothing that can come out of his mouth. You’re just waking up too, and you blink a bit, but there’s no hint of surprise on your face. “Keishin?” you whisper, and he never thought his name could sound so good coming from you.
“Y-Yeah,” he mumbles, and he can feel his face warm at his stuttering, but he gives himself a break because he’s just waking up. You roll over so that your back is fully against the bed, and you rub over your eyes. 
“What time is it?”
“It’s only nine-thirty,” he says after he looks at his clock, and you groan softly.
“God, that is too early for a weekend.” He smiles at your sleepy state, and he can’t take his eyes off of you. You raise your arm over your head to stretch, and he notices that your shirt rises, and he can’t help but let his eyes trail down your body. His breath catches in his throat when he sees how high your shorts have ridden up, and there’s only one thing on his mind.
His eyes cut towards you when you call his name again, and he’ll blame his tired brain later, but he leans down closer to you. “Am I dreaming?” he questions, and his hand is itching to touch you, so he carefully puts his hand on your face.
“I don’t think so,” you whisper, and he can barely hear it over the blood pumping in his ears. He glances down at your lips when you lick over them, and there’s no way he’s going to be able to stop himself now.
“Good.” When you don’t make any move to pull away, he takes the opportunity to press his lips to yours. He sighs at how soft your lips are, and he only gets more eager when you kiss him back. You said he wasn’t dreaming, but this sure feels like he is. He pulls away only for a second, missing the feeling of your lips almost the instant he does.
He goes in for another, and you let your arm loosely loop around his neck as you meet him halfway. He groans when you deepen the kiss as you roll over onto your side, and he grabs your leg, putting it over his body. He’s borderline frantic to feel every part of you, and he lets his hand run up your leg, his fingers just barely getting under your shorts.
You move in closer to him, so he allows himself to let his hands drift up further, and your shorts have moved up so high, that they barely get in the way of him feeling even more of your ass. You moan when he pulls back with your lip in between his teeth, and he’s never felt so hot. He stops for a second to look at you, and your heavy breathing is the only thing that can be heard in the room.
Your lips are swollen from his kisses, and your pupils are blown wide as you look up at him, and he thought there was no way you could get any prettier, but right now, you’re proving him wrong again. “Fuck,” he breathes before he leans back in, rolling the both of you over while keeping your leg in his hand.
Your hands rub all over his chest, and you run your hands up his back, and he shudders at the motions, goosebumps rising all over as blood rushes straight to his dick. Your arms find their place around his neck, and he abandons his hold on your leg in favor of letting his weight press into you.
He pulls away to quickly pull your shirt off, and you easily let your upper half lift off the bed so he can do so. His movements slow when his eyes land on your chest, your boobs are basically falling out of the bralette you’re wearing, and his brain short circuits. He can’t think about anything else, and he swallows heavily when you pull the straps down, fully exposing yourself to him.
He lets your shirt fall next to you, and like he’s in a trance, his hands reach up to squeeze at the underside of the fat, and he wants to pinch himself. There’s no way he’s really doing this with you, but he’ll worry about this being a dream later. He kisses you again, feeling like that’s the only way he can regulate his breathing right now as he continues to fondle your tits. 
He kisses down your neck, feeling like he might go crazy as he kisses over your chest before he slips one of your nipples in his mouth. He moans when you do, his name slipping from your lips as your hands slip into his hair. He ruts against you, and he’s definitely drooling as he sucks at your chest, but he doesn’t even care.
You pull him back to your face, and he kisses you sloppily, your legs wrapping around his torso when he grinds even harder against you. “K-Kei,” you keen, and he rests his forehead against yours, his pleasure becoming too much for him to continue to kiss you. You arch into him, and he swears when your chest pushes into his. He’s definitely close to cumming, feeling his pleasure start to mount in his spine, and he digs into his teeth into whatever part of your skin he can reach to try and hold himself back as he pulls at your shorts.
Right as he does though, his burst open, scaring the both of you. Ukai quickly falls on his side to hide you, and he looks over his shoulder to see his roommate standing in the doorway. “What?!” he barks, and the guy holds his hands up.
“Sorry, dude,” he laughs before quickly walking back out, slamming the door when he leaves. Ukai doesn’t even want to look at you, the air now becoming awkward in the silence. He slowly turns his head towards you, and when he makes eye contact, you can’t help but laugh. He internally sighs in relief as he laughs with you, and yours dies down when your phone starts ringing.
He hands it to you, and you give him a small smile as you answer it. He doesn’t listen to the conversation because he’s too busy looking at you. His eyes stay on your lips while you talk before they trail down to your chest, and he can see the marks he left on you which causes him to twitch in his shorts.
“Sorry, I totally forgot. I’m leaving right now.” That makes him look up at you, and you hang up the phone, taking a while to meet his eyes. “I forgot I had plans with my roommate today. That was her,” you tell him, and he pushes down the disappointment that he feels, and he thinks that he hears it in your voice; at least he hopes so.
“No, that’s okay. I should probably see what my friend wanted,” he responds, and you quietly grab your clothes and put them back on. He moves over so that you can get out of bed to get to the bathroom, and he releases a heavy breath through his mouth when the door closes.
He runs a hand through his hair as he tries to think about what in the fuck got into him, and he wills his hard-on to go away. He gets off his bed, sliding his shirt on right as you open the door, and he goes in after you. He doesn’t even try to look at himself in the mirror while he brushes his teeth, and when he walks back out, you’re standing by his bed, looking at your phone.
You look up at him when he walks into the room, and he pulls his shirt down to cover himself. “Sorry, I have to leave so suddenly,” you say, and he waves you off.
“It’s okay. We got a lot of work done yesterday, so it’s all good.” You give him a little nod, and he quickly decides to walk towards the door so things don’t get awkward. You follow him out of his room, and his roommate is sitting on the couch when you walk out. He looks over his shoulder just as your grabbing your backpack.
“Sorry for interrupting earlier,” he laughs. “I’m Takinoue.”
Ukai glares at him as you feel your face warm. “Nice to meet you. I’m y/n,” you say softly, and Ukai’s eyes widen when Takinoue’s does.
“Wait, you’re y/n? The girl that–”
“She really has to go, so end of the introduction,” Keishin rushes out, and he pushes you towards the door. While you’re slipping your shoes on, Ukai smacks his friend on the back of the head, but before he can turn around, he’s already slipping his shoes on and walking with you out the door. 
Neither of you speaks as he walks you to your car, and he doesn’t know what to say when you finally get there. “Uh, thanks again for the help last night. I really appreciate it,” he eventually says.
“You’re welcome. Just let me know if you need any more help,” you tell him, and that reassures him a bit that maybe you didn’t hate what you both did earlier. But now, he doesn’t whether to wave, hug you, or kiss you. He definitely wants to do the last one; his hands are itching to touch you again, but he doesn’t know if you’d be okay with that.
You break him out of his thoughts when you take a step closer to him and kiss his cheek. His world seems to stop when you do, and you pull away, having a hard time holding his gaze. “See you on Monday, Keishin.”
He’s too dazed to respond, barely remembering you getting in the car, and the next thing he knows, you’re driving away. He doesn’t jump out of it until your car is long out of his sight, and when he finally does, he smiles widely against his will. He softly touches his cheek, and he doesn’t lose the smile on his face as he walks back to his apartment.
But it drops the moment he opens the door and sees his friend’s smug smile. “You weren’t gonna tell me that you’re sleeping with the girl that you’ve been pining over since high school?” he questions, and you Ukai shakes his head as he rolls his eyes.
“We’re not sleeping together, okay? We were just working on a project last night.”
“For what class? Anatomy?” he jokes, and it actually makes him laugh.
“Ha! Good one,” he muses. “But we finished really late, so I let her take the bed. That’s why I was on the couch.” He rubs his hand down his face as he sighs, but it doesn’t take long for him to smile again.
“Well, it looks like you should’ve just taken the bed anyway. You look like a lovesick puppy.”
“Fuck you,” he retorts with no heat behind it, but it’s not like he can deny it. He’s still not sure if he’s dreaming or not, and in the back of his head, he’s waiting for himself to wake up. 
“So, what happens now? Are you actually gonna confess to her? You’ve only been waiting for this moment for like, five years.” He hates how he still can’t answer that question. With the way everything is going, he’s thinking that it’ll be better to not tell you the truth, but on the other hand, he wants to come clean to you and tell you everything. And Takinoue’s right, he’s been waiting for a miracle, and it’s finally here.
He thought he would jump at the opportunity, but with the first interaction he had with you, he held back. “I don’t know,” he eventually says.
“Don’t stress it too much, man. As far as I’m concerned, it looks like she feels the same way,” he says, with a hard clap on his back that makes him stumble forward a bit, and it definitely feels intentional. At least now he knows he’s not dreaming. “And that also explains why the apartment was spotless when I got home. Now where’d you put my shit?” he asks, and Ukai lets himself drop his dilemma for now.
~
When you get home, you close the door behind you and let your back fall against the door. Even if what happened with Ukai was long ago, your heart is still racing just thinking about it. You don’t know what came over either of you, but there’s not a single bone in your body that hated it. You rub your fingers over your lips as your mind starts to replay the events in your head.
You jump when your roommate opens her door, and you quickly stand up. “What happened? Are you okay?”
“Yeah, yeah. I’m fine,” you say. “It was really late, so I just slept over at his place since I was so tired.” You try to school your expression so that she doesn’t pick up on anything, and you hope the look on your face is convincing enough.
“So, did anything happen?”
“Ah, no. We just worked on our presentation, it was pretty uneventful,” you say, and to be honest, you’re a little bit embarrassed to admit to her what happened. Maybe it’s because you’re still reeling from it. “Just let me hope in the shower, and I’ll be ready to go.”
Surprisingly, she lets you walk past her without saying anything else, and when you get to your room after closing the door, the events of this morning start to hit you. You go from sitting in shock to flailing in one spot just to get it out of you. You take a deep breath, composing yourself before you get in the shower.
Your shower takes a little longer than you anticipated because your thoughts keep running from you in all the wrong ways. You throw some cold water on your face when you get out, telling yourself to get it together. You get dressed, and your friend is waiting at the dining table for you when you walk out.
She looks up from her from, and her words die in her throat when she looks at you. You frown when her smile disappears, and she points an accusing finger at you. “You bitch! You lied to me!” she yells, and you’re still very much confused until you look down at your chest where she’s pointing. Your eyes widen and you feel your face warm when you see hickeys all over your chest. 
You don’t know how you didn’t notice until now, but thanks to the low-cut shirt you’re wearing, you almost showed everyone what you were up to this morning. “Um…” you say weakly, covering your chest with your hands. “I’ll go change and we can get out of here,” you try, but you don’t even get to take a step back before she speaks.
“Absolutely not, missy. You sit your ass right here and tell me everything.” You sigh, knowing that she’s going to get it out of you sooner or later, and you sit down across from her. She looks so invested, resting her hands on her face as she leans forward. “So, did you guys sleep together?”
“No,” you start with a shake of your head before you shrug. “Well, kinda. It was really late, and I was tired, so he said I could sleep in his bed. When I woke up, he was there, and…stuff happened.”
“What happened?! Tell me everything!” she presses, and your face gets even hotter just thinking about it.
“We just made out,” you eventually say. “His roommate walked in, so it didn’t go much further than that.” Honestly, you don’t know what you would’ve done if his roommate hadn’t interrupted. You probably would’ve done anything with him at that moment.
“So, how was it?” she presses.
“It was really good,” you gush, a laugh rushing out of your chest. “It was the hottest thing I’ve ever done,” you add, feeling how hot your face is when you put your hands on it.
“I bet,” your roommate laughs. “I can see that you’re flustered from here.” You can’t help but laugh again, putting your hands over your face and sighing. “So, what’s your relationship now?”
“I don’t know. We really didn’t talk about it. Like I said, it was just a kinda spur-of-the-moment thing.”
“Well, I’m getting that it means you’re admitting your feelings for him,” she responds, and move your hands to look at her.
“I’m scared too,” you answer honestly. “I don’t wanna say that, and then he pulls a complete one-eighty on me.”
“That’s understandable, but truthfully, I don’t think he’s the same guy he was in high school. From what you’ve been telling me, it doesn’t sound like he’s going to do that to you.” You let her words bounce around in your head, both of you going silent as you think.
“Maybe,” you say after a while.
“Have some faith, girl. I bet he likes you a lot more than you like him.” Her words make you smile, and then she stands up. “Alright, we need to get a move-on if we want to make it to this thrifting event on time.”
“You were the one who wanted me to tell you about what happened,” you say after you scoff. 
“Well, it was only natural. You tell me it was uneventful, but you have hickeys on your chest? I’d be crazy not to ask,” she counters, and she has a point because you would do the same thing if the tables were turned.
You go back into your room to change your shirt, and then you’re walking out the door with your roommate, putting your situation with Ukai to the side for a while.
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Monday rolls around faster than you’d like, and you spend all morning thinking about how the conversation with Ukai will go. You’re not dreading it, you’re just more worried about if your conversation will be awkward or not. You get to class pretty early since you woke up early, and you listen to your music as you wait for Ukai to get here.
You pull up the paper that you have to present while you wait, and you read over it just in case. There’s no point in making any changes since you had to submit it to your professor before class, but you still want to go over it anyway. You freeze for a split second when you see Ukai sit down next to you in your peripheral, and you slide your headphone off your head, but you don’t look his way.
“Morning,” you hear him say, and you turn to him, having a hard time keeping your smile small.
“M-Morning.” You pick at the corner of your laptop as you internally roll your eyes at how nervous you are.
“Listen,” he starts, leaning towards you and lowering his voice. “I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable yesterday–”
“No, it’s okay,” you say, cutting him off. “It was–I, um…I liked it,” you whisper, and there’s no way you can look him in the eyes after saying that. Both of you jump when the professor announces for you to start your presentation. 
Thankfully, it goes off without a hitch, the only thing is, you started to notice about halfway through your paper that someone’s glaring at you. You couldn’t figure out who it was while you were reading, but when you start to ask the class questions, you realize it was the girl that tried to talk to Ukai a while ago.
You try not to let it affect you, but you have no idea why she’s staring you down. You don’t know if Ukai notices her too, but before you know it, it’s all over. You sigh quietly in relief when the professor says that class is over, and you both pack up your stuff. You notice that Ukai is walking way closer to you when you walk out of class, and you feel sparks go up your arm every time his hand brushes against yours.
“I’d say we did pretty good,” he says while you both walk.
“Yeah. She seemed really happy with our questions. I have you to thank for that, though. You did most of the work,” you respond.
“I’d say it was pretty even,” he jokes, and you can’t help but laugh. “Our usual spot?” he asks, and you nod even though the both of you are already walking that way. 
The area you usually sit in is pretty empty when you get there, and you and Ukai both sit where you usually do. You sit next to him, but there’s no way you can get any work done. Even though it’s quiet, the air between you is stiflingly filled with attraction. 
Since you’re not going to get any work done, you carefully lay your head on his shoulder, and you bite your lip to hide your smile when he wraps his arm around you. “You gonna nap?” he asks, you nod as you press further into him.
“Yeah, I’m gonna try.” You turn your face to press it into his shoulder, and you close your eyes as you breathe him in. He smells so good, and it’s nearly too late when you start to realize that you’re getting warm all over. You will yourself to calm down, but there’s no way you’re going to be able to go to sleep, so you keep your eyes open, focusing on what work he’s doing every now and then.
When you feel yourself starting to go to sleep, it’s too late because you feel him shaking you gently to let you know that you have to get to class. He gets up after you do, and you wait for him to put his stuff in his backpack before you leave. When he stands, he’s nearly in your space, but you make no move to step back. You actually want to step closer to him, but you have to remind yourself that you’re not alone.
You look around, and you see that you are, but there’s no way you’d be bold enough to do anything in public anyway. You both look at each other for a second before you move to kiss him on the cheek again. It’s the only thing you bring yourself to do right now. “I’ll see you later,” you whisper when you step back, but you don’t even get a chance to turn around.
He grabs your wrist softly, pulling you into him with his hand on the back of your neck. His lips meet yours for a hungry kiss, and you can’t help but melt into him, and suddenly you’re forgetting about being in public. You’re dazed when you pull away, your breathing ragged as you let your fingers softly touch your lips.
You look around again, and when the coast is clear, you move towards him again, and he holds you closer to him as he deepens the kiss. Fuck, he’s such a good kisser. Every single one makes you feel like you’re floating, but he pulls away the moment you moan. “You should go,” he breathes, his hands resting on your hips. “Cause if you don’t, I won’t be able to let you go.”
You give him a shaky nod, and it seems like it takes forever for you to step back from him, and you nearly don’t, deciding that class isn’t so important anymore. But you really should go. His hands slip from your hips when you move, and it takes everything in you to walk away from him. You give him a small wave, hightailing out of there before you can change your mind.
Turns out, you should’ve just stayed with him because you reply the kiss over and over in your head the whole class period.
~
“Hey, are you doing anything Friday?” your friend asks, and you look up from your homework.
“No, I don’t think so. Why?”
“Cause my team’s having a mixer, and I can bring a plus-one, and you need to get out. You’ve been studying all week,” she says, and you roll your eyes.
“I don’t know. I don’t really know any of your teammates,” you tell her, and she waves you off.
“Just bring your boyfriend. It’ll be fun.”
“He’s not my boyfriend!” you yell, but she’s already walking to her room. 
She has a point though. You’ve been nothing but working all week, and the only time you’ve seen Keishin is during class, which always leads to a heated kiss that has you wanting more. Even when you look back down at your work, you don’t want to think about it anymore, so you decide to take the offer.
You text Ukai about it, and he instantly agrees. You start to feel nervous just thinking about it, especially since you don’t attend things like this very often. You’ve been to a few due to your friend’s outgoing nature, but sometimes you just like to be at home watching your favorite show. But, maybe it won’t be so bad since Ukai will be with you.
When Friday rolls around, you’re waiting on your friend to finish getting ready, so you’re sitting on the couch. You offered to drive since you won’t be drinking that much anyway, and you stand when you hear her heels clicking on the floor behind you. “Why are you wearing that?” she asks, and you look down at your outfit.
“What’s wrong with it? I thought you’d like that I’m wearing a dress,” you muse, even though you’re going to be tugging on it all night. It hugs your body way more than you’d like, but you bought it on a whim and you’ve barely worn it. 
“I’m talking about the jacket.”
“What’s wrong with the jacket? It’s gonna get cold tonight,” you tell her, genuinely not understanding what she’s getting at.
She rolls her eyes before she plants her hands on her hips. “You can’t show up with a jacket. Now, he can’t give you one.” You instantly understand what she means, and you can’t help but scoff.
“Are you seriously telling me to ditch the jacket just so Ukai will give me his?”
“Uh, duh. Why else would I be telling you this?” You don’t have much of a choice because she pulls it off of you, throwing it on the couch. You don’t have time to protest because even in heels, she’s moving out of the door quickly. 
You must be here early because parking isn’t absolute shit yet, and you can feel your nerves start to hit you as you walk up to the house. When you get inside, you quickly realize that this is nowhere near a mixer; it’s a full blown party. Your friend guides you to the kitchen, handing you a drink once she gets there, and her friends find her almost instantly.
They talk to you for a while, and you check your phone to see that Ukai just texted you. Your friend waits for him to get there before she leaves with her friends, and you both find a corner to occupy as the music pounds in your head. “This isn’t really your thing, is it?” He has to lean down to ask you, and you shake your head as you move your hand side-to-side.
“Not really, but my friend thought I should get out since I’ve been studying all week.” 
“She sounds like a good friend,” he yells back, and that makes you laugh.
“When she wants to be, yeah.” The room’s starting to fill up, so you grab his hand to find somewhere else to go. You decide to just step outside since they’re playing music that you don’t really listen to. “Did you drive here?” you ask, finally relieved that you can hear yourself think.
“Yeah. I have a friend that’s on the team, so I’m the designated driver tonight.”
“So am I,” you say, taking a sip of the seltzer, and you offer it to him. He takes a swig before he puts the drink down on the half-brick wall that you’re sitting on.
“Are you not cold?” he asks, gesturing to your body, and you nod your head quickly.
“Oh, I definitely am. My friend told me to ditch the jacket though.” He gives you a questioning look, and you chuckle a bit before you explain. “She said if I ditch the jacket, you would give me yours,” you explain. “You don’t have to though,” you add, but he’s already sliding it off, and your eyes land on his arms which look like they might rip the sleeves of his shirt.
He puts it on you, and it’s so warm that you can’t help but curl into the warmth. You stick your arms in the sleeves, and he moves closer to you. You stand so that you can make your way in between his legs, and his hands land on your hips. 
“You look good tonight,” he comments, and you hum as you put your hands on his shoulders.
“Yeah?”
He nods. “Especially in my jacket,” he adds, wrapping his arms around you to pull you closer to him.
“And what are you gonna do about it?” you question, and he grabs both sides of his jacket in one hand to pull you down to him. 
“I’ll show you,” he whispers against your lips before he kisses you firmly, and you gladly let your weight fall on him. He easily catches you as you move your arms to hang over his shoulders. He keeps one of his arms wrapped around you while the other falls so that he can trail his hand up your leg. You know the goosebumps that rise on your skin aren’t from the cold because your body starting to heat up and he’s barely started kissing you.
His fingers start to reach under the hem of your dress, and it feels so teasing to you that it makes you leak onto your panties. You’re glad you’re in the backyard because you would be embarrassed otherwise at how easily he’s pulling all kinds of sounds from you. He sucks on your tongue, and you’re pretty sure you would let him do anything to you right now.
He groans when you pull at his hair, and his fingers dig into the fat of your ass as his fingers start to inch further up your dress. You jump away from him quickly when someone yells your name, and you look up to see a girl walking up to you. You recognize her as one of your friend’s teammates, and she carefully steps outside, but Ukai doesn’t let you go.
That’s also when you realize that people could see you from inside since the curtains to the backdoor are wide open, but you don’t have time to think about that because she starts talking to you. “We’re playing seven minutes in heaven. You have to play!”
“O-Oh, I don’t know about that–” She cuts you off with a rough yank of your hand that nearly tips you over, and you grab Ukai’s hand also since there’s no way you’re stopping her. She pulls you upstairs, and you all walk into a room that’s filled with people but not as many downstairs. There’s music playing in here, and when she closes the door, the music blasting downstairs is severely muffled.
She pulls you into the circle, and you quickly fix your dress when you sit down to make sure you don’t flash anybody. “God, it’s like she didn’t stop,” you breathe, turning to Ukai when he sits down next to you.
“Yeah, that’s for sure.”
“I’m sure we can just sneak out of here in like, five minutes,” you say, but it’s too late because someone stands up and starts talking. You look around the room, and you start to feel uneasy when you see the same guy that Ukai nearly beat up. He barely spares either of you a glance, and you definitely feel uneasy when you see the girl that shares the same class with the both of you.
She makes eye contact with you, and she gives you a smile that’s all too friendly. There’s no way you can leave now because there’s no point in explaining the rules since everyone knows how to play. You and Ukai are definitely the only sober ones in the room, and you feel anxious as the girl from your class picks you to spin the bottle first.
You do it just to do it so you can get out of here faster because you’d rather be anywhere with Ukai but here. You chew on your lip nervously as the conversation gets quiet while people wait to see who’s going in the closet with you. You nearly slump in relief when it lands on Ukai, and when you look at him, he has a look in his eyes that gets both of your heartbeats racing.
He gets up before you do, pulling you to the closet faster than you can even process what’s going on. When he closes the door, you try to find a light to turn on, but he’s pushing you against the nearest wall before you can. As he pushes you, you feel something cold run across your forehead, and you assume it’s the string to the light, so you try to pull it while he kisses you frantically. 
You manage to turn it on, but the moment it happens, you soon forget about it when his lips find your neck. He pulls the jacket off of you, letting it fall to the floor as his hands rub at your thighs. “Keishin,” you whisper, trying to keep your voice down since you don’t know how soundproof the door is.
“I’m so glad it landed on me. I don’t know if I would be able to handle you coming in here with someone else,” he breathes against your skin, and you’re glad it landed on him too, but there’s no way you’re able to tell him that when he pushes your dress up so that it’s bunched at your waist. 
He hikes your leg up so that it’s on his waist, and his other hand runs under the side of your panties. You jump when he finally touches you down there, and you hide your face in his hair to try and muffle your moans. He uses his other hand to pull your dress further up your body so until your tits fall out. The straps of the dress were designed where wearing a bra would’ve looked weird, and you don’t regret not wearing one at all right now.
You can’t even begin to try and get a word in when he starts to suck at your tits at the same time he pulls your underwear to the side. You ball his shirt in your fist when he rubs at your clit, and you dig your teeth into the other side of his shirt. You’re glad he has you up against the wall because you definitely would’ve fallen otherwise. 
You wanna try and make him feel good too, but he’s got you trapped between him and the wall, and there’s no way you could, so you just let the pleasure overtake you. You feel tears start to form at the corner of your eyes when he slides his fingers into you, and you’re confident the groan he releases is loud enough for everyone outside to hear.
“Oh, God,” you whine. “Oh, God, Kei–” You stand on your toes to the best of your ability when he presses against your walls, and your fingers hurt from how hard you’re gripping his shirt. He finally abandons your chest in favor of watching your face as he fingers you, nudging your head up with his shoulder, and you bite into your lip as your pleasure builds.
“Fuck, baby, you’re so hot,” he moans as he looks at you, and he pulls your lip out from between your teeth.
“T-They’ll hear–me,” you try to whisper.
“I don’t care. Let ‘em hear how good I’m making you feel, baby.” You can’t fight the urge to bite your lip, and you let your head fall back against the wall. You’re definitely starting to get too loud, so he crashes your lips onto his. He swallows every sound you make, pressing up against you even more when he presses on that spot that has you keening into his mouth.
The knock on the door should startle you but it doesn’t. The only thing you care about now is how good you’re feeling. The second round of knocks are harder, and this time you hear a voice, but you don’t know what they’re saying. He kisses you soundly as he slides his fingers out of you, and you don’t hide your disappointment.
He slides his fingers into his mouth, his breathing just as ragged as yours when he pulls them out. “I’m nowhere near done with you,” he whispers, and he fixes your dress right as the door opens. He picks up his jacket off of the floor, and he grabs your hand, making a bee-line for the exit. 
He’s suddenly stopped by a familiar face with another familiar face on his arm. “I knew you could do it,” he says, and he hands Ukai some money. You both frown at him, and the girl laughs.
“You won the bet, Ukai,” she says, and you can feel your heart start to race in the wrong way as your hand starts to slip from his. “It only took what? Like two months?”
“You don’t remember the bet we made before school started?” the guy asks, and you start to feel sick, looking over your shoulder to see everyone looking at you. You feel like you might puke as you wretch your hand from him and run out of the room. You hear Ukai call after you but you don’t stop, running down the stairs and pushing past people, ignoring their comments.
You can’t help but let the tears fall when you get outside once the music starts to fade. Your ears are ringing so badly, and your feet are moving you to your car. You let out a sob as you run, and you don’t even hear your name being called behind you. A hand grabs your arm, and you try to shake it off, but it tightens its grip.
“Let me go!” you scream, turning around to see Ukai, and the only thing you see is the guy that let you get bullied in high school. “You’re a piece of shit!”
“Just listen to me,” he tries, but you continue to fight him. “I don’t know what he’s talking about. I didn’t see him until that day!” he says, but you’re not listening.
You stop moving, and he doesn’t let you go. “You’re still that same guy. Nothing fucking changed and I fell for it!” You take the chance to slip out of his grip, and you succeed, making a run for your car. You unlock it, but right as you try to open it, his hand lands on yours. 
“Just listen to me, please.”
“No! I don’t want to talk to you.” He turns you around so fast that it almost scares you, and he pushes you against your car door.
“Are you really going to listen to some people that you barely know instead of me?” he questions. Your lip is still wobbling, and you can’t stop the tears that are running down your face.
“It’s not like I have anything else to go off of,” you bite back, and he presses you against the car a little harder when he thinks you might move.
“Yes, you do. And you know it,” he declares. “I have no idea what the fuck they were talking about. I didn’t even know he was going here until I saw him that day. And I haven’t talked to her since that day in class.” You start to calm down, but your heart is still racing a mile a minute. “I really like you, okay?” he starts. “I have since I laid my eyes on you in high school, and I’m sorry I didn’t tell them to stop messing with you. I was more worried about myself.”
His words hang in the air between the two of you, and when you start to relax, he lets you go. “Nothing that I have said or done with you has been a part of some bet. Everything I did was my choice.”
“How do I know you’re telling the truth?” you ask, and you hate how your voice trembles.
“You think I threaten to beat him up all for some bet? I’m better than that, and you know it.” He lets his hands fall into your hands, grabbing them soft but his grip is firm. “I would never do something like that to you. I’ve been thinking about telling you the truth ever since I saw you that day, but I thought if I did, you would hate me. I couldn’t live with that, so I stayed quiet.”
You don’t respond, sniffling heavily. “And now I’m realizing that that was the dumbest decision I could’ve ever made. Spending this time with you has been the best moment of my life,” he breathes. “Don’t tell me that you don’t feel the same.”
You can’t even tell yourself that you don’t feel the same. You know from the start that your feelings for him never left, and there was a part of you that just accepted it. But you were so scared to let your guard down, to be vulnerable with him like you are now. 
“I really like you. I mean that. And I’m sorry for letting you be hurt all this time.” You let go of his hand so that you can wipe your face.
“It’s not your fault,” you eventually say. “I do feel the same way, but I was scared. Back then and now, I blamed you for the bullying, but it was never your fault.”
“Yes, it was,” he presses, but you stop him.
“No. It wasn’t.” You sniffle again, taking a deep, shaky breath. “I was letting the past dictate my feelings. I shouldnt’ve let their words get to me. But I was scared that you would hurt me if I let you back in.”
“I won’t hurt you again. I promise. I’ll never make you feel like that again.” He lets his head fall on yours as he speaks. “I’m sorry for all the pain I caused you, but I won’t let it happen again.” You pull away, looking in his eyes, and you lean forward to kiss him softly. He lets his hands move to your neck, kissing you back just as softly. 
“I believe you,” you whisper when you pull away. “I’m sorry I didn’t before. I really like you, too.” He can’t help but smile, and he kisses you again just because he can.
“Thank you.”
“For what?” you ask, frowning a bit.
“For letting me say what I’ve always wanted to say. I thought I lost my chance forever.” You shake your head, wrapping your arms around his neck and kissing him again.
“No,” you say. “Now you have me forever.”
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pablitogavii · 11 months
Text
Best friend's little sister Pt. 2
Here comes part 2 for y'all..thank you so much for all the likes and shares!! You guys are awesome! Hope you enjoy this mini series and comment what you think will happen next, thanks! <3
Here is Pt. 1
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Your POV
I was avoiding Gavi..on purpose..because I couldn't stop myself from wanting to kiss those plum lips whenever I saw them. Why the hell did that cabrón have to kiss me and make me hooked like that!?
"Earth to Y/n! We going out tonight??" my best friend Rebecca whispered making sure professor doesn't catch it while reading his paperwork and I nodded promising to find a way to sneak out when everyone goes to bed.
"We'll make you forget about that chico amiga!" she said and you rolled your eyes saying that you already did which was the biggest lie that could come out of your mouth but whatever.
You had to carry your heels in your hand as to not wake anybody while walking down the stairs like you were an intruded trying not to get detected. Suddenly someone coughed and you jumped almost yelling on top of your lungs but you slapped a hand onto your hand.
"Joder Pedri! I almost died cabrón!" you curse him walking all the way down suddenly realizing that your brother just caught you sneaking out pass midnight.
"And where are you going??" he said and you had to think quick on your toes saying the first thing that came to your mind.
"Date! Um..please don't blow my cover Pepi??" you used his nickname and he rolled his eyes sighing and promising not to tell your parents as long as you don't come back too late and you promised.
"Let's go!" you jumped into your friend's jeep and she pulled the rood down speeding down the road while wind blew though your hair while you vibe to the loud music.
Pablo's POV
She was avoiding me! Whenever I would come over, Pedri would say she just had to leave to study or meet friends. I knew she left the moment he said I was coming over!
I was laying in bed opening her private story which I was apart of somehow shocked to see her filming while dancing in the club with some cabrón behind her and my jaw started clenching.
It was three in the morning and she was out there all alone! I couldn't handle the thought of this so I texted her immediately. No response. Damn it bombon!
pablo: you're sister home hermano??
pedri: nahh went on a date or something why?
pablo: nothing.
I knew exactly which bar she was at and I got dressed driving there quickly before entering being asked if I would like our usual VIP area but I said that I was fine.
I came to the bar ordering a drink but before I could have a sip, I scanned the room for her finally seeing her trying to pull away from an older guy who wasn't letting her go that easily. I felt my fists tight as I walked towards them angrily.
"Vamos bailar chiquita.." he was drunk off his ass trying to grab her hips but she pulled back shaking her head looking around for anybody to help her..my poor bomboncita.
"No..gracias." she said but he kept trying to touch her as I finally pushed past the crowd grabbing her wrist and pulling her behind me. She was shocked about to pull away but when she saw it was me ,she calmed down doing as I asked.
Your POV
He was here..Pablo was really here now. I felt so uncomfortable since this older guy kept asking to dance and all my friends were suddenly nowhere to be seen. I was so glad he was here..to keep me safe.
"Que pasa!? Who are you!?" guy said to Pablo angrily and I got worried that his short fuse will result in a fight he certainly doesn't need on his record right now.
"She's with me.." was all Pablo said and I was glad he was trying to keep calm and avoid conflict.
"Nahh she was grinding on my carajo all night..so back off and let me show her a good time" he was trying to reach for me but I shook my head snaking my arms around Pablo's waist hiding my face into his back.
"The only one showing her a good time is me cabrón so back off before I make you do it!" Pablo growled shielding me and placing his large hand over my small ones in reassurance. Then it hit me..what did he just say?? My thighs closed in sudden anticipation.
"Whatever, take your puta!" guy said and that was the last straw as Pablo tried to rush towards him but my arms wouldn't let him go as I begged him to take me home.
"Por favor Pablito..for me" I said and he calmed down nodding his hand taking my hand and walking out of the club quickly. He was angry..I could tell so you stayed quiet following him towards his car. He opened a door for me buckling me up before coming to the front seat. I was way too drunk for this...
Pablo's POV
I was freaking pissed off! How could she be so fucking reckless!?
What if I wasn't there to protect her tonight!? What if that filthy hijo de puta did something to her!? I suddenly felt her hand on top mine rested on the steering wheel while I drove home.
"I'm sorry Pablito.." she said pouting knowing that always gives her an advantage but tonight I wasn't going to let this go easily. Was she really fucking grinding on some guys dick!?
"No bombon. You made me worried about you tonight!" I said without thinking and she smiled moving closer being pulled back by the buckle until she undid it so she can rest her head on my shoulder.
"Mmm you were worried about me??" she asked playfully but I was not in the mood to joke around. This was serious and I needed to finally have a real talk with her.
"You should buckle up bombon.." I said stealing a glance being in love with the way she looked precious while laying her head on my shoulder like this...why the hell was she so precious!?
"But I wanna be close to you.." she pouted not moving an inch and I just stayed quiet for the rest of the ride until we arrived to my apartment building.
"Alright, let's go.." I said getting out and opening her door but she just gave me grabby hands saying she was too drunk and dizzy to walk. I sighed grabbing her body like she weighted nothing (which she did) and tossing her over my shoulder before closing and locking the car.
"You're way too possessive.." she giggled drunkly and I was done with her brattiness spanking her ass while walking and that took her by surprise for sure.
"Did you just..um spank me?" she said and I chuckled at her sudden shyness all the confidence vanishing suddenly..I really liked that ;)
"I already told you that you are running your mouth too much bombon!" I said sternly waiting for her response which came fairly quickly.
"Um..I'm..s..sorry..papi" and with that my bulge was poking through my shorts as I took a couple of deep breath while walking into my apartment and setting her down onto the bed. Fuck bombon!
Your POV
The way he spanked me when I misbehaved..and handled me was such a massive turn on..not to mention being drunk off my ass right now. I was so fucking horny!
"Arms up!" he ordered and I wouldn't dare misbehave again doing as he asked as he took off my dress leaving me in my matching red set that he certainly checked out but quickly took his old Barça shirt and put it over my body. The shirt smelled so strongly of him..that it made me even more drunk.
"Drink some water" he brought the cut of cold water to my lips and I opened my mouth obediently drinking some which sobered me up quite a lot.
"Bueno, now let's go to bed.." he opened the covers before taking off his own pants and shirt joining you. You quickly found your way close to him as he held you.
"Are you still mad at me??" I said looking up at him while he nodded making me pout and start kissing his neck in order to soften him up a little bit.
"Please don't be mad at me..papi.." I praised continuing to kiss up to his jaw and he relaxed under the touch his ego stroked that no matter what happened, I was only in his bed tonight...I was only his.
"Joder bombon! That's my..weak spot" he groaned and I continued to suck on it leaving a prominent mark while his strong arms wrapped around my body pulling me close.
"Why did you leave me alone for so long ..?" you spoke softly and sadly and he kissed your forehead pulling you on top of him so you can lay against his body as close as possible.
"You avoided me bombon.." he answered and I felt sad looking into his eyes and finally catching a glimpse of those plum lips I dreamed about for days..they looked so perfect and kissable.
"Because I wanted to kiss you again..so badly" I admit meeting his eyes as a smirk appears on his handsome face. Those words were music to his ears.
"So do it bomboncita.."he said cockily and my cheeks blushed as I didn't know weather I heard him correctly..since last time I thought he would never want to do it again.
"What?" you said and he chuckles at you innocence pulling you even closer so that your lips were only inches away from each other.
"Let me taste those lips again princesa.." his voice was stern but yarning and you could no longer hold back deciding to give into you desire.
"Mm yes papi.." you answered making him smirk before your lips were finally on his as they mended together so perfectly like they were meant for each other.
Pablo's POV
We've been making out for the next fifteen minutes, hungrily, like we couldn't stay away from each other..it was true, I couldn't stay away from her anymore.
When she got on top of clumsily giggling, it hit me that I needed to have a talk with Pedri..one thing I dreaded the most.
"Nena..wait..you're drunk and should get some sleep" I said also thinking that it was better if we wait a little longer at least until I talk to Pedri..I needed to be the one to tell him.
"Do you want me Pablito?" she asked now sitting on top of me and the moment her ass got in contact with my still hard bulge I couldn't stop my hands from gripping her hips while nodding my head.
She smiled leaning in and starting to kiss my neck..fuck! If she doesn't stop this, I won't be able to control myself.
"Don' be bad bomboncita.." I groaned and she giggled nuzzling her head into my neck while laying on top of me slightly rubbing herself on my bulge.
"What if I want to be bad??" she said a yawn following shortly after which made me chuckle at how adorable she was right now.
"Then I'm going to tame you bombon.." I said and she smiled nodding her head adorably while slowly dozing off to sleep placing her hand onto my heart like she wanted to feel it beat.
"I'm yours Pablito.." those words made my heart stop being for a moment and I found myself smiling wide like an idiot..that's all I wanted. 0
When I woke up, she was already up texting someone and I asked who she was talking to sighting when I heard it was Pedri.
"He's going to hate me.." I said out loud and she put her phone away getting on top of me again and leaning down to kiss my lips..damn, those lips were my kryptonite!
"We'll find the right moment to tell him, Pablito..I promise" she said reassuringly laying her head down and my chest and I held her close feeling afraid of losing her.
What if he forbids me form ever seeing her again? I wouldn't be able to do it..in such a short time my feelings fro her transformed form intense annoyance to unimaginable passion...I was so screwed!
Thoughts? COMMENT :)
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moonshynecybin · 4 months
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Marc not being with Vale in Austin is fine because Vale crashed anyway and it's been a week since Argentina and Vale is still processing what Marc said (and it's not like they picked each other 100% of the time when things were fineTM, so, anyway)
Marc not picking Vale in Sachsenring, though? After the moment they had in Barcelona? Definitely feels wrong and Vale burns with jealousy (which was Marc's plan all along) (Vale goes out that night and picks up someone and it's the least satisfying one night stand he's had in forever) (and he's fully the one to blame for it)
I think it also shows Vale that Marc is not as desperate as he might have thought (and let's face it, there was obviously something satisfying thinking he had the upper hand there) and it fucks him up a little too
context on this post!! go read it...
see in my brain im thinking marc is enough of an all-or-nothing dichotomous little guy that he DOES choose vale every time he can... idk how that would work out with the rules of podiums but i have been tortured by enough gifsets (wait a minute you made some of those. find them here friends) of his 21 year old self wallpapering his room with valentino merch (and his own merch like he WAS doodling mr marc marquez rossi <3 in all of his notebooks rip king) that i think the first time he chooses anybody else is post ARGENTINAAAAAA 2018. down horrendous. down catastrophic. down so bad we might have to send him to the medical center so they can declare him medically fit to ride anyways. and thats not as fun for jealousy stuff anyways bc by then vale has realllllllly entrenched some narratives in his brain and would simply repress that <3
so!!! this au hath been set in the 2016 season where marc is half agony half hope.... one word from you would silence me forever.... so marc is um. winning a lot, and choosing valentino every time like. please talk to me. and as youve said initially its like i have nothing to say to you!! you betrayed me!! and then as it goes on a gradual thawing and they are having like. intense tender fraught winners room sex the ENTIRE time like insane people. marc fully lowkey like once he unblocks me the wedding is back on... and then as youve said in catalunya vale picks marc and blows his back out and theyre both soooo kind of. tired. of pretending that they dont like this so i think there IS a moment where marc tells a dumb joke and vale laughs (SEX LAUGHERS TILL I DIE) and then his eyes get all soft and marc leans in and its a very sweet kiss and a very sweet moment and they both think. maybe..... marc's breath caught in his chest vale's thumb on his cheek....
but this is rosquez the GOATs of motorsport divorce (no one tell me the brocedes lore shhh) so i think vale makes an offhanded comment in front of marc about picking up or something. maybe talks to uccio and blocks marc's number after he tries to call him afterwards... SOMETHING happens that pisses marc off idk what. and the next time he wins in germany hes like fine. okay. i wont choose valentino he clearly doesnt want me to. so he chooses dovi and they dont fuck but they do let everyone THINK they fucked (dovi is lowkey sad about this. cal crutchlow known marc fucker and p2 this race is despondent that he didnt get chosen.) and vale feels LITERALLY INSANE... sitting at home thinking about marc with dovi... cant get it out of his head....
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writing-havoc · 1 year
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I can't STOP thinking of an idea for inej ghafa x fem!reader so here you go (let me know if I'm freaking you out or if I need to stop, please!). i've read several kaz fics where he gets jealous of r very close relationship with some crow, so imagine that except with inej, where r is kaz's childhood best friend and they are a duo in the eyes of practically everyone (some even consider them a couple). r and inej have been mutually interested in each other for a long time, but r doesn't do anything because she's afraid of the consequences if the information gets out and inej doesn't try anything because she's in doubt whether r likes girls the way she (inej) does. maybe after a heist gone wrong r narrowly escaped death and now inej can't stop thinking about what could have happened if something worse had happened and r had died so the two talk privately and both admit what they feel one for the other. I can't get this idea out of my head and now I want to know how you would write about it. love inej and would like to see more of her point of view on her. oh, it would also be really nice if there was a spotlight on the platonic kaz x reader relationship. something like "we have a problem" and "no you have a problem, I have a problem friend". I imagine too much kaz rolling her eyes at every involuntary sigh of r for inej and at the end when r goes to tell her and inej getting together, kaz just like: "really? and the sky is blue?" but secretly glad her friend and the wraith are together. just inej and r being crazy about each other and kaz turning a blind eye (no romantic feelings for either of course)ssalto que deu errado r escapou por pouco da morte e agora inej pode ' t parar de pensar sobre o que poderia ter acontecido se algo pior tivesse acontecido e r tivesse morrido então os dois conversam em particular e ambos admitem o que sentem um pelo outro. Não consigo tirar essa ideia da cabeça e agora quero saber como você escreveria sobre isso. amo inej e gostaria de ver mais de seu ponto de vista sobre ela. ah, também seria muito bom se houvesse um destaque na relação platônica kaz x leitor. algo como "nós temos um problema" e "não, você tem um problema, eu tenho um problema amigo". Imagino demais kaz revirando os olhos a cada suspiro involuntário de r para inej e no final quando r vai contar pra ela e inej se reunindo, kaz tipo: "sério? e o céu tá azul?" mas secretamente feliz por sua amiga e o fantasma estarem juntos.
Fist bump
♡ Summary: Inej contemplates whether her feelings for you are reciprocated. A nearly fatal injury throws all apprehensions out the window.
♡ Pairing: Inej Ghafa x Fem!Reader, Kaz Brekker x Reader (platonic!!!)
♡ Fandom: Six of Crows, Grishaverse
♡ Warning(s): Gunshot wound, says y/n three times
♡ WC: 5.4k
Hello!!
Thank you for the request. It was nice getting to write for Inej again. While I've only written for her once before, I feel confident that I'm closer to getting her character right
Kaz is slightly ooc imo. But I feel it comes with the territory of him actually having a lifelong friend instead of being completely alone. So be prepared for that!
Hope you enjoy it regardless <3
Please excuse any grammar and spelling mistakes
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"What the hell am I looking at?" You ask, frozen in place.
Kaz sighs from somewhere deep within his throat, tone riddled with annoyance. "Your guess is as good as mine."
Inej takes a moment to stare. Her mouth might be open as she squints at the scene, but that's... the least of her worries.
Jesper and Wylan were currently flirting with eachother on the ground floor of the Crow Club, not even at any specific game. Every once in a while pieces of their conversation would float to her ears, and it was just plain horrible.
It's honestly surprising. Jesper has no problem attracting anybody of any gender, but with the way he's talking to Wylan right now she finds it truly unbelievable that Jesper was able to pull anybody at all.
What's even more unbelievable was that Wylan was actually enjoying it.
Seduction tactics don't really interest Inej. But even she is able to distinguish between a good and bad pickup line.
The moment she hears something about a fruit she makes it a point to stop listening to them completely.
"Whatever it is they're talking about I don't think its wise for us to listen anymore." Inej turns away, body facing towards you.
"Agreed." You scoff, turning a little towards her too. "I'm not all that into exhibitionism."
Kaz's eyebrows raise. "Surprising."
He's mocking you, which you immediately recognize and shoot a glare at him, knocking your heel into his cane. "Budge off, limpy."
"Oh no. Not my limp. Anything but the limp."
It's really only funny because Kaz isn't bothering to fluctuate his voice at all. It's monotone, and his eyes remain half lidded and he hoists his cane up and brushes off the dirt you got on it.
Inej smiles, holding back a chuckle as she watches the crowd around her, people steering clear if only for the fact that Kaz is nearby.
"Yes, the limp. Your worst fear." You giggle when you watch his eyes roll.
Nina comes in, standing below the railing where you stand, eyes flickering between you and Kaz.
"How are the lovebirds doing?" She jests.
It sends a little pang through Inej's heart.
Your closeness with Kaz has been a topic of interest within the crows since they joined the little inner circle. And it's not all that surprising.
You have known Kaz the longest out of any of them. You were with him when he joined the Dregs, when he climbed his way up the ladder until he became floor boss and when he managed to secure fifth harbor. You even own a share in it, taking the risk and knowing full well Kaz would have gotten it up and running.
He let's you closer than anyone else, his trust intrinsic to the fact that you have been with him through thick and thin. Inej can tell something big happened an your guys' past, small looks shared here and there, pursed lips when someone mentions a niche topic.
But with the way you hang around eachother, when you sigh with a far away look and Kaz wacks your shin with his cane just gard enough that it aches, when you can have a conversation with just a glance, it's only natural that people assume.
"In his fucking dreams." You chuckle. "This lump of coal is my best friend and nothing more, we've told you this."
Nina smirks, looking between you two once more. "You tell me and yet I can sense your heart beating like crazy, my dear Y/n."
Inej watches as you prickle, flustered, but her gazing is interrupted when you turn your body completely away from her, focusing solely on Nina.
"Hearts can lie, Zenik." Inej watches as the smile falters slightly on Nina's face. "There are people who have mastered the art of lying without any spikes in heartbeat because of grisha power. Unrelated, im simply inebriated and just witnessed the most foul and frankly disgusting conversation between Jesper and Wylan."
Nina groans. "Oh don't even get me started on that. They walked right next to me and let me tell you, I learned more about Wylan than I ever needed to know."
And just like that the topic is dropped, but Inej's mind was still gripping it, trying and failing to squeeze any sort of meaning beneath your words.
Because that conversation between those two boys hadn't flustered you in the slightest. You made jokes, voice and posture lacking any semblance of embarrassment.
You like someone. If not Kaz, then someone else. Someone you know. She takes the little hope that bubbles in her heart and gently pours it into a bottle, corking it and putting it away.
Hope is dangerous. But not unnecessary.
She'll look at it later. When she has time to feel what she needs to feel.
"Well that's a delicious specimen." You purr, watching a man in a bright yellow-green suit walk into the club.
Nina looks where you do, Inej and Kaz following your gaze.
"5." Is all Nina says.
"James Denker." Kaz relays. "Dirt poor, dressed in an attempt to impress."
"Ugly suit color." It wasnt, but it clashed horribly with the reds and blacks the club adorned. He stood out like a sore thumb.
You groan. "You're all the worst."
"We're simply saving you from having the worst time of your life." Nina downs a glass being cleaned up, Rotty taking it back once it was dry. "Speaking of, I need to go find Matthias."
"To torture him?" You lean into the railing, resting your head in your open hand.
Nina hums. "Torture is not on the menu tonight."
Kaz rolls his eyes, immediately leaving to go elsewhere as Nina strolls away, off to find her burly boyfriend.
You stay planted exactly where you are, looking out at the little tide pool of people rolling dice and flipping cards.
"Everyone's so obsessed with sex today." You remark.
Inej raises a brow. "You literally just called a man a 'delicious specimen'."
You chuckle. "I wasnt actually going to do anything. I would never go for a man dressed like an unripe lemon."
She hums, coming to rest her hands on the rail next to you. Out of the corner of her eye she sees you begin to track someone, a smile pulling at your lips. She follows your gaze, and sees a women in a dark blue dress, low a-line revealing her stomach. A feather boa rests on her shoulders, a matching dark blue bandana pinning her hair back in a mass of curls.
"Men tend to have the worst fashion taste."
Inej looks at you, your face relaxed and pupils wider than she's ever seen them.
The girl comes up to the railing, looking up at you. You give her a toothy smile, allowing her to take your hand and give it a kiss.
It squashes her heart and shocks it all at once.
You're so gentle with the woman below, who introduces herself as Femke, at it pains Inej that it's not her, but also uncorks that bottle she had just put away and pours it all over her.
She feels it in her hands, the way her eyes avert as you giggle at eachother with your hand in the safety of your pocket, the way her feet want to run and jump between the highest rooftops.
Kaz was incredibly right. Hope is dangerous.
"I have to go, but it was lovely conversing with you." You say politely, giving Inej a look she knows is begging you to follow her.
She does so, taking an alternate route out of club, pulling up a mask and throwing the hood of her tunic over her head.
She heads out a side door, melding into the shadows of an alleyway as she begins to scale the side of the building, fingers still electrified. Balconies become footholds and launching points and gutters become ledges to hoist herself up.
You're a bit further behind, but not terribly. You opt for a ladder placed on the back of a building two addresses down. You hop along the top of the curved rooftops, bouncing between the dormers and sliding down gabled edges whilst Inej followed, a grin pulling her mask up until you both reach a flat roof.
The view below is rather pretty compared to the rest of the Barrel. The distance you had crossed places you closer to East Stave, the wide canal full of boats and gondolas.
Lamposts were beginning to turn on, the lamplighters going around and lighting them. People began to bunch up, drawing their coats around their shoulders.
She looks at you, then. Worn out, the thinnest sheen of sweat making you glow. She wants to know just how warm you are.
She stays where she is.
"You're rather popular tonight." Inej begins, biting the topic in the ass.
"Hm?" You ask, catching your breath. "Oh, Femke. I guess."
Inej quirks a brow. "It didnt go as planned?"
You chuckle. "You were standing right next to me, Inej." Her name sounds like sweet treats her parents used to get her coming from your lips.
"The moment felt private."
"Femke was pretty, yes. She was... fucking gorgeous." You laugh, a kind of manic one when you remember her features. "But I couldn't be with her even if I wanted to."
Your face turned a little more solemn, eyes glancing around Inej's face.
"I'm sure she would have agreed to a night together if you showed interest."
"Thats not the problem. But thanks for the vote of confidence." You turn away, hopping onto the edge of the roof, hanging your legs off the side.
She walks to the edge, prefering to stay where she could quickly flee, hands resting on the concrete. "Do you want to elaborate?"
She hopes you'll say yes. Hopes you'll let her in.
You swing your feet, lip sucked between your teeth as you tear off the skin.
"I have... a rather quiet appreciation for the attractiveness of women." You say, staring out at the open street full of people. Inej cannot help but think of how romantic this all could be, if the day had been different. The topic lighter. Your words bobble around in her mind relentlessly. "Aside from the fact that me being with someone could compromise their safety, women get enough people who will yell how pretty we are with the caveat that they'll hurt us if we take it negatively in any way. I wanted my love for women to be quieter, out of personal experience, but there all the same."
It feels like Inej's mind is playing tricks on her, some sort of intoxication manifesting in auditory hallucinations. But when you look at her out of the corner of your eye, mouth upturned so perfectly, she knows in her wildest dreams she couldn't have thought of something even half as stunning.
She looks where you were just looking, seeing parades of men with their arms slung around eachother stumbling down the road, women hooking their arms through the other and talking quietly into the others ear, families tugging their kids close and loners standing on the corners of buildings with blunts and cigars resting between their fingers.
She understands. "You've got a beautiful soul."
She'll treasure the way she could hear your shoulders relax, hand coming to rest right next to hers.
-----
"Kaz!! Kaz Kaz Kaz Kaz-"
Inej was startled from her perch in the window when your voice boomed up the stairs, door to the office flying open.
You were slightly out of breath, and your hair was a mess of strands flying in random directions, like you'd been running your fingers through it. Pulling it even.
Kaz didn't seem worried in the slightest though. In fact, she wasn't even sure he recognized you were there until he said, "What is it now, Y/n?"
"We have a problem."
"No we don't. You have a problem. I have a friend who is obsessed with making them." He looks up from his desk, not even bothering to set down the pen from his hold. "What happened?"
Your lip wobbled, and Inej was quick to tag it as fake when you threw yourself into the lonely chair that sits across from Kaz's desk, body melting into it. "There's no more Kvas."
He sighs. "Of course there isn't." His fingers find the bridge of his nose, pinching it just slightly.
"We had four bottles left yesterday." Inej notes. "Was there some sort of celebration?"
"No. All jobs that took place yesterday, while necessary, wouldn't have warranted a celebration like that. I'll order more tonight."
Immediately you brighten, face splitting open as you hop up from the chair, a giggle spilling from your lips. "Thank you Kaz!"
"What's the ocassion?" Inej asks. Her heart stutters when you turn that wide grin towards her.
"Remember that businessman Kaz had you spy on a few days ago?"
That got both her and Kaz's attention, the both of them staring at you. "I do."
"Well, I happened to run into him today and had a chat with him when I realized he was wearing a pocketwatch of the same type that my father used to wear." The mention of your family only makes Inej more interested.
You and Kaz never talk about where you came from, not unprompted anyway. The only tidbits of information that Inej has been able to scrounge up and overhear was that your family was very close friends with Kaz's, and that both of your parents, judging by how you talk about them, are either dead or too busy to bother contacting you.
"And this is meant to mean... what? Exactly?" Kaz prompts, a bit of caution dripping from his tone.
"I'm getting to it! Anyway, we had a rather long conversation about it and how useful they can be. Which of course led into talk about businesses and meetings and the such- he mentioned that there was about to be a huge rise in, like, 4 different stocks because of something going on over in Ravka. I have it written down, um, here!"
You root around your jacket, taking a card out of one of your inner pockets and handing it to Kaz. Inej stood up and walked over, taking a look at the writing.
There 5 stocks written down in your own messy scrawl, the card itself being the man's business information. One of the stocks she recognized as being really low from when Kaz talked about it the day she had to spy on him.
"I also managed to nab his wallet. You would not believe the stuff this guy keeps in here. There's a deed and tons of other interesting things." You take a wallet from your pocket, leaning forward and dangling it in front of Kaz's face.
He grabbed it from you, opening the leather receptacle.
"Aren't I just the greatest bff you could ask for?" You posed, going out of your way to exaggerate each one, sending a wink Inej's way when she eventually made eye contact with you.
"Annoying, is what you are." Kaz remarks.
You two were incredibly confusing sometimes. He treats you differently than he would everyone else. You make fun of him and tease him and get closer than anyone would dare, and he takes all of it in stride, turning your teasing right back on you, pulling you around by your waist with his cane when you particularly annoy him or when you're about to run into something.
But maybe that's just a statement of your friendship. In a way, Inej doesn't think anyone will ever be able to get so deep beneath Kaz's walls like you have. Kaz deserves to have that someone that he can just be who he is around. There's some semblance of a boy within that bloody battered exterior.
And who better to bring that out than you? The person who came here with him and who holds so much compassion that it's truly a wonder it hasn't been beaten out of you yet? You hold a certain appreciation for life that brings a balance to the apathy Kaz likes to exhibit and uplifts others.
It makes Inej remember the little moment last night. The way you looked so calm and the way the lights of the lampost made your skin glow.
You... you really like girls. And it makes Inej feel so giddy and hopeful. It translates as a smile that you return.
Kaz sighs. "Inej, I need you to return this once I look at everything."
She glares at him. "We've talked about this."
"Dearest Inej, will you please return this once I'm done?"
"Can I come?" You ask.
"Unfortunately for you, no." Kaz gives you a glance. "Youre needed with Jesper and I after I do this."
Your eyebrows snap together, mouth opening to say something before the whole expression fades into realization. "Oh yeah." You drag out the words. "For that thing near the lid."
Kaz neglects to answer, still going over everything in the wallet. He pulls out a few bills of kruge, which he immediately stows away into his shirt pocket. Everything is taken out and placed methodically around his desk, any wet papers being skillfully avoided.
"That thing is a ten thousand kruge job. So you better remember what it is."
There's a silence for a few moments, your wide eyes trailing towards Inej. She shrugs, and you cup your hand around your mouth, a stage whisper exiting your lips. "I don't remember."
Kaz drops the wallet, scratching his chair against the floor as he says "of course you don't, filthy lovebird" and walks to a drawer in a dresser, pulling out a blueprint.
'Lovebird.' Inej thinks the same time you whine out an 'I'm sorry' but Kaz ignores it, shoving the paper into your hand. You quickly unroll it as Kaz starts going over the plan once more, eyes flickering to find the starting point.
"It's simple. You will use your curse of an ability to start conversation with complete strangers and distract the guard at the west point by asking for a bathroom..."
Inej remembers this. Kaz had briefed her for it as well before realizing her presence, for once, wasn't all that necessary. You were acting strange that meeting, half of it you were off staring into space at Inej.
She remembers her collar feeling a little stiff, heat making her sweat under your gaze.
Kaz ended up sighing and knocking the metal head of his cane against your forehead, making you yelp. He had to go over the plan again, Jesper laughing at your pouted lip.
"I don't need anything else from this wallet." The conversation fades back into focus. "The kruge and the stock card are all I need. Inej." He holds out the wallet to her, which she takes and immediately pockets it.
"How long will you be gone?" She asks, eyes flickering to you.
"No more than four hours." Kaz stands and takes his cane, heading to the coat rack to collect his outer wear. He gives you a stern glare. "If everything goes according to plan."
Your eyes roll, landing on Inej. "No faith. Absolutely none."
"Faith isn't in his vocabulary."
Kaz walks out the door, leaving it wipe open.
Inej expects you to follow, to jog to the door and disappear beyond into the darkness of the staircase with nothing but a 'see ya' yelled at her.
But you turn to her instead, hand rubbing over your stomach as if to quiet it. You wet your lips, her eyes following the movement. She stands a little straighter when you approach.
"No mourners, yeah?" You extend your fist.
Inej smiles, heart beating faster as she tentatively bumps her knuckles into yours. "Yeah. No funerals."
With a nod, you chuckle and leave, leaving Inej alone with her thoughts and a cold wallet pressed into her tunic.
You'll be fine. Jobs like these were routine, and Kaz and Jesper were two people she'd trust with your life any day.
But that doesn't stop the anxiety from bubbling in her gut, acid gnawing at the walls as she leaps out the window.
The chance for something to go wrong is never zero.
-----
They should be, though.
A loud, booming "Move" startles everyone away from the door. People dive out of the way, a cane flashing by their faces as Jesper carries a body down to the makeshift hospital beneath the Slat.
Inejs heart sinks, Nina rushing in after them.
There's only one person that could be.
She hops down the stairs, weaving through people like a needle and thread and swinging the door open with such a force that it bounces off the wall and squeals shut behind her.
"Guys please it's not that ba- OW!"
"You don't get to say it's not that bad when you lost nearly a quart of blood." Jesper hisses, grabbing at his head.
"What happened?" Inej demands, a rumbling in her chest as she does so.
Kaz nearly threw his cane down, chunks of his composure swiftly falling away. "Plan A failed, we had to resort to Plan J."
Inej wants to tug out her braid, to tug his hair out, "Which was?"
"Fucking book it." Jesper slumps into a chair. "Which we did, but one of them got lucky and hit her in quite possibly one of the worst places you can get hit."
Inej starts going through a catalogue of major arteries, sick intrusive images of your neck blown open and chest reduced to a gaping hole shoving their way into her mind.
But that's not the case. You were talking, sitting upright, protesting.
Now you're laid down, your nails carving crescent moons into your forehead as you shove the heel of your palms into your eyes, teeth gritting.
Nina's using her heartrending to look over your hip and thigh area, and Inej realizes the predicament that the novice healer has to deal with.
There's an artery that runs through the inner thigh. If it's hit, it's almost just as deadly as the side of your neck being slit open. The bullet managed to hit within that area, and a tightly bound blood-soaked piece of fabric was keeping pressure on the wound. Probably the only thing keeping you from bleeding out.
"It's been nicked. But the bullet seems to still be in you. I'll have to do my best to heal it while also trying to direct it out of your body." Nina doesn't even give you a moment to process it, immediately loosening the fabric.
Blood begins to gush from your wound, and Inej wants to scream.
Jesper follows your lead and digs his palms into his eyes. Kaz stands a good few feet from the table, watching the whole thing unfold. And Inej is...
She walks up to the side of the table, reaching out and brushing her finger through your hair.
"It'll be done soon, yeah?" She asks thought not really expecting an answer, watching your temple flex and your skin turn red as you held your breath. A rough scream escapes your lungs when you open your throat, gulping in as much air as possible before you go back under.
A small tink sounds against the table, bullet out. But Nina is sweating, glowing under candle light as she stitches everything she can back together.
"The bullets out. The only thing you have to do is wait for Nina to be done putting you together again and then you'll be done."
Healing, while ever so helpful, was far from painless. You're speeding up your body's natural process, your skin, muscles, veins being stitched back together on a cellular level.
A highly trained grisha healer could probably numb you while doing so. But Nina is not that.
Inej wants to be mad at her for being so inept when it comes to this. For not having the ability to just repair you with practiced ease and get this over with.
But she can't. She can't be mad at Nina for being who she is.
Instead she's grateful that Nina is here at all. Otherwise you'd be-
Saints, she doesn't want to think about it.
"What went wrong?" Inej asks, taking your hands away from your eyes when beads of blood build on your forehead. "This was supposed to be simple."
You grip her hands tightly. She squeezes them right back, hoping she's providing some sort of relief as she prays for your life.
"Simple doesn't cut it when your intel becomes outdated." Kaz snarled. "They changed the guard postings on the inside. We got found out shortly after retrieving this."
He pulls out a rolled up painting from a tube slung over a chair. It's a landscape of what looks to be from Fjerdan territory looking beyond towards Ravka. The Shadow Fold is missing, and in the distance she can see the artist took some creative liberties and drew the Ravkan palace.
"Supposed to be worth over ten times what we were getting paid for." Jesper uncovers his eyes, opting to cover his mouth and nose. "Doesnt really seem worth it for this."
He glances at Kaz, but Kaz looks at her, and in those dark brown eyes she feels like they come to an understanding. Kaz knows things that Inej hasnt bothered to voice to him outloud. He knows how she feels about you, and is probably just about the only person that on some level could come close to feeling the way she does now.
You're way too important to lose.
Nina let's out a deep breath, hands becoming slower and less steady. "I've got this mostly patched up, but for now the artery is pretty weak. I've got most of the muscles around it to heal to protect what it can but rest and the least amount of movement as possible while I monitor this for the next few days is whats needed."
Inej feels you relax, hands no longer squeezing the life out of her own. Your elbows knock against the table, foot wiggling on your injured leg.
You swallow. "Okay."
Inej has never heard you sound so small, which is surprising.
This isn't your first time getting injured like this, though it has been a long time. But even now she can remember you fighting them every step of the way when you were asked to rest.
Now you're more compliant than ever. You're not even making a move to sit up.
Kaz clears his throat. "Jesper, Nina, out."
Inej can hear Jesper get up from the chair, all too ready to get away from the situation. Nina, however, is less ready to vacate your side.
"I want to check over the rest of her for any other injuries you may have missed in your getaway plan." She places her hands over your head, slowly moving down your body.
"There are no other injuries. It was just the bullet. Out."
Jesper is already up the stairs, probably to find Wylan. She knows he'll come back later, once he's calmed down and can properly look you in the eye after being faced with your mortality. Nina gets down to your feet, and sighs.
"Just wanted to make sure your girlfriend-"
At the same time, you and Kaz state that you're not together. Your voice is a lot sharper than Kaz's, which is enough for Nina to whip around and give you a look.
You're sat up now, propped up on your elbows as you glare at her.
"I would really appreciate it if you stopped pushing us together, thanks."
Your hand squeezes Inej's, and it's like her heart gets zapped with a little lightning.
Nina eyes you for a moment, expression a little hurt but otherwise reserved as she searches for something.
When she looks at Inej, it seems she found it.
Her eyebrows shoot up, and her mouth falls into a little 'o' as she backs up. "How could I have missed that?"
Before Inej can silently ask what that means, she's smirking and basically running up the stairs.
Kaz collects his things, then gives Inej and you a nod before following.
The door above clicks shut, and a bound of wild creaking from above tells her that a few people were crowding around the door and waiting for news.
You squeeze her hand again, and Inejs attention is all on you.
"How bad is it?" You ask.
Inej swallows, then looks down. There's a mess of reds and purple around where the wound is. It's smaller than before, skin a little malformed where Nina put everything back together.
"It looks like you got shot."
You chuckle, moving to sit up completely. Inej helps you were she's needed, letting you use her to pull yourself up and position yourself without using your leg.
Silence followed. Your hand was still holding Inej's, your thumb going over rough spots on her palms. Your finger would stop, finding a spot that was particularly rough, and then smooth over it as if you could make it disappear.
"Thank you."
Her brows scrunch. "For what?"
"For staying."
"Of course."
You take a deep breath, exhale coming out shaky. Before Inej can ask what was the matter, you begin talking.
"I like you." You say. "I like you a lot, and I have for a while. Long enough that I can't be in a room alone without automatically looking for even though I know you won't be there. Enough that about half the time when I feel like you're watching me I'm right, and I can pick you out from the crowd."
Inej is smiling. She can feel it on her face, eyes pricking and ears ringing just a bit.
"Kaz has gotten so sick of me talking about you to the point he actually has resorted to knocking his cane against me when I sigh too loudly or when your name comes out of my mouth for the tenth time in a minute." A chuckle comes out of your mouth when you go to rub at a bruise on your shin. "He doesnt mean to be harsh but I think he forgets how solid his cane is sometimes."
She's laughs, the same as you do when she pulls your hand towards her and presses it against her chest, heart saying everything and more.
But words matter too.
"I like you too. For what sounds like just as long as you have. Believe me if I had known you liked girls I wouldn't have let you torture Kaz for as long as you did."
"What do you say? Girlfriends?" You let go of her hand and hold out your fist.
She bumps her fist against yours. "Girlfriends."
She loves the way your eyes brighten.
However, she does not love that the door to the room comes open again.
The distinct sound of metal on wood tells the both of you immediately who it is. While Inej's annoyance only slightly decreases, yours disappears immediately.
"Kaz!"
"Y/n."
"Look!" You gently offer your hand, and Inej slips her fingers between yours, interlocking them. "We're dating. Inej likes me back."
He rounds the corner, looking at the both of your hands. He puts up his shoulders, raising an eyebrows.
"And im actively disabled. Dont waste my time with the obvious."
You chuckle. "Thanks, Kaz."
While Kaz mulls over whether it's worth it to stay down here, Inej helps you off the table, easing your leg down to the ground where it remains limp.
"Oh my saints, twinsies."
Inej looks between you and Kaz. Your limp leg is the same as his.
"If I ever hear you say twinsies again, you will lose me as your friend."
"Impossible."
Kaz takes that as a challenge, and moves up the stairs faster than she has ever seen him go.
As you call out to him to get his ass back here, Inej takes a moment to think about how perfect everything is.
Your leg may be out of commission, but you're happier than she has ever seen you before. You asked her to be your girlfriend, and still you're gentle and wait for permission. She's giggling as you do when you trip a little and catch yourself on the step.
She's so incredibly happy to be where she is today. And even more excited to figure out where the both of you will go from here.
∘₊✧──────────────────✧₊∘
Tags:
@xx-all-purpose-nerd-xx @kylie18 @morrigan-crowmwell @venomsvl @milkshake0
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frostedcats · 8 months
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heyy, since you're a death note blog I would like to request a Mello X reader back at Whammy's House if possible. I was thinking about Mello trying to confess to the reader while Matt teases him about it :)
MELLO X READER
Heya! This is the first time I write something like this. I hope I can please you! It s not really about Mello confessing but about him inviting you to meet up so he can confess. He got too akward trying to confess and Matt got him out of shit by saying that Mello actually wanted you two to meet up.
《¤~☆~¤》
   It was an annoyingly sunny friday. My skin was bathing in sunshine, felling like it was going to burn and fall off. The most annoying part was that I wasn t even outside, but inside the library looking for some shitty book my teacher told me to read. Roger just wouldn t let me close the curtains even tho the windows are awfully big.
    After looking for a while I start hearing some chuckles... Matt?
    "C mon dude just tell them!" I barely heard his voice.. Then I hear Mello:
     "Oh for God s sake just stop it! Bloody hell I told you to stop!"
      Come to think of it for the past month Mello has been acting really strange.. But, not in a bad way.. Whenever i annoyed him his death stare got softer, looking like he was trying to not hurt my feelings. I caught him a few times staring at me and he somehow looked nervous around me. Matt was teasing him a lot more lately too. I once heard him mock Mello about becoming softer and blushing around me, and he ended up getting smacked in the head. I didn t really think much about it even though it s kinda obvious Mello is fond of me. It s hard to belive that he likes anybody so I just decided to ignore these signs. Even though I have to admit I'm fond of him too...
    I screech as somebody touched my shoulder. I leave my internal dialogue and look back to see Mello who seemed to be sick, his face was way too red to not be noticed, looking like he cut off Matt s hair and stuck it to his cheeks. Talking of Matt, he was behind him, keeping a comfortable distance so he could hear us. I look at the blond and admire him for a few seconds. The sun making his hair shine and accentuating the red blush in his cheeks.. I get the sudden urge to run my hands through his soft looking hair. He was wearing a black t-shirt and some fucked up jeans that looked like they belong to a solider from WW2. I chukle a little at the comparation I came up with. I look up back at his face to see his gaze upon my body. I feel my face heat up.
     "Hey Mello! Did something happen? You don t look so well.. are you sick?" I notice him jump a little when he hears my voice.
     "Oh, um.. Sorry. I m not sick don t worry.. it s just a little hot outside. I wanted to tell you something."
     "Go ahead, I m listening!"
      "I wanted to tell you... I- um" I see him scratch the back of his head and then mumble something.
       "What was that?" I ask making sure I don t sound mean.
        My gaze leaves his body as i hear Matt approach us.
        "He wanted to ask if you want to meet up tomorrow in the forest, after lunch, but it seems the great detective can t find his words!" Matt explains rolling his eyes and jokingly punching Mello in the arm. Mello glares at him and looks back at me.
        "Yeah.. that s what i wanted to say. I want to talk about something in private with you, tomorrow." Mello sounds way to soft for his own good. I m not used to this.
        "Sure! I m free tomorrow I don t have a lot of homework."
         I see his face light up after i accept his invitation. Matt whispers something to him and I notice his eyes widen and his cheeks become a darker colour of red, he pushes Matt playfully and curses something at him. I laugh at their interaction.
          "Hey i was actually having trouble finding a book! Do you think you two can help me?" I ask simlling
          "I can t help you right now! There s a super important event on Mario Bros! I m sure Mello can help you though."
          "Fuck you, Matt.." I hear Mello whisper.
          "Love you too, Mello! I ll leave you two now, have fun!" Joked Matt, winking and waving us goodbye, then running to the door...
《¤~☆~¤》
Please tell me if i messed something up! Thank you so much for the request! <3
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Text
Doctor Who x Reader
PLEASE READ HERE :)
hiii this is my first fic in about 4 years probably :) this is obviously a new account, so yeah that's why there's nothing else here. um anyways, i definitely got incredibly carried away with this, did not have an idea going into it (still think it ended up great), 12 is probably out of character, and i somehow wrote it in under 3 hours??
anyway, I hope it's enjoyable! and please let me know your thoughts :)
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12th Doctor x Reader
(really student/professor but can be romantic or platonic, whatever vibes you catch.)
Word Count: 2,600+
Summary: You have been hearing a drumming in your head. One, two, three, four. It's been affecting your mental state, and you haven't been to class in a while. Maybe your professor, The Doctor, is able to help figure this out?
Warnings: mentions of depression and suicidal thoughts.
A drumming had been haunting you for months as you slept.
One, two, three, four.
One, two, three, four.
It would sound non-stop until you couldn't bear it any longer, and woke up. Every time you would wake up the same: in a cold sweat, panting, with tear streaks running down your face.
Each day the drumming's effect on you grew. It was affecting your mental state immensely. You felt a deep pain and sadness hanging over you like a cloud most days. You wouldn't be able to get out of bed, much less go to classes. You weren't hungry often, and couldn't eat when you were. You avoided your friends and your schoolwork, occasionally texting your parents to keep them from worrying.
You weren't sure if your professors noticed your absences. They hadn't reached out to you in any way. It's not like they'd notice you in the sea of students. They must see hundreds a day anyways.
It's not like anybody would notice you anyway. At least that's what the drumming would whisper to you.
One, two, three, four.
You keep to yourself. Don't have any close friends in your classes, and not many close friends at school in general. Nobody really knew who you were. Your favorite color. Childhood pets. How long it takes you to sleep. How often you're awoken by the drumming.
One, two, three, four.
Nobody would notice if you're gone.
One, two, three, four.
They don't even notice when you're there.
One, two, three, four.
-+-
You wake up. In a cold sweat. Panting. You reach both your hands to your face and rub your palms on your cheeks. Tears were cleared from your face and now sat on your hands. You sit up and release a heavy sigh. It's like the sigh has been waiting to escape all night. Like your body was relieved to be released from the nightmare drumming.
You decide to get out of bed, an easier decision than previous day's had been. You stretch your limbs and yawn. You walk to the bathroom and face your reflection. Today was going to be okay.
Or will it be.
One, two, three, four.
"It will be. Today will be okay." You affirmed to yourself in the mirror. You let out another sigh, smiled at yourself softly, and began your morning routine.
You do your make-up while watching a video. You found that taking the time to do your make-up gave you time to relax, breathe, and be yourself. You felt better about your days when you take this extra time to yourself in the morning. So, whenever you manage to get out of bed, you try to manage doing make-up too.
The video you watched was just of some guy unnecessarily analyzing a TV show you liked. He went into extreme detail about small details from the show and created theories about why certain things happened and what might happen next. You enjoyed his content. He reminded you of one of your professors.
He was a very kind old man who you can tell cares deeply about everything he talks about. He has a Scottish accent that somehow grows stronger with excitement. He's enthusiastic and rambles, and never really has a set course of taking points. He just lets his mind and his heart lead him. Saying whatever he finds most awestrucking and veering off topic drastically. In fact, you weren't really sure what the class was meant to be about.
The course description when signing up simply said, "Discussion-based class, humanities topics." The syllabus was no extra help, practically said the same thing with all the extra school required information listed. But it fulfilled your humanities credit, and the first day was interesting enough, so you stayed in the class.
Thinking about the professor, The Doctor, just The Doctor, made you want to go to his class. You checked the time on your phone. It did start in a little over two hours. You finished getting ready and then waited.
You waited maybe fifteen minutes before getting bored. You quickly put your bag together and walked out your door, then your building, into the outside would. It had been at least thirty-two hours since you were last outside. The air felt cool against your skin, reviving your senses and making you softly smile to yourself. You could hear the wind rustle the branches of nearby trees that swayed. Somehow, these trees looked the same as ever, and more beautiful than ever.
You turn around in a full circle and take in the Earth around you. She really is beautiful. You don't sit with her enough.
With new energy in your body, the dark cloud caused by the drumming smaller than ever, you walk around your campus mindlessly. Every step you take grounds you to the Earth, reminding you that the drumming can't be real.
One, two, three, four.
It isn't real.
-+-
You take a seat in the auditorium where The Doctor's class is held. You gently place your bag on the floor next to you and wait as the seats pile up. Five minutes later the room is almost full, and the tall man with short grey hair walks in, greeting the class with a Scottish, "Hello!" as he places his bag down and immediately starts writing on the chalkboard.
"Music." is written on the board. He swiftly turns around on his heel. He stops and makes direct eye contact with you. He stares for a moment, a twinkle in his eye. He diverts his attention from you and begins speaking,
"So," he clasps his hands, "who wants to tell me the importance of music to humanity?"
Hands shoot up all around you. You had been missing a fun class.
-+-
The class ends and you have a beaming smile on your face. You hadn't realized truly how fun and entrancing The Doctor was. Every student was hooked on his every word, waiting for what insane piece of information would come flying out of his mouth next. Every student including you.
The class was packing their bags and leaving around you. You heard groups starting to chat. Friends laughing loudly.
You don't have friends like that here. Your smile falls.
One, two, three, four.
A tap on the wooden desk in front of you wakes you from your thoughts, a Scottish voice accompanying it, "Are you okay, y/n? I noticed you haven't been to class in a while."
You looked up at The Doctor, no doubt admiration for him and sadness from your thoughts filling your eyes. He could read your eyes. He could read the pain and the sadness. He's felt it before.
"You noticed?" You stifled out.
"Of course I noticed." His face softened, "All of my students are important to me."
"But there's so many of us?"
"So?"
You didn't have a response to that. You suppose he was right. You just looked down at your bag, grabbed it, and started to stand up.
"Would you like to come into my office?"
You looked at him, confused and shocked.
"Just for lunch and to discuss whatever is going on. If you'd like." You look at him, still confused. Your head cocks slightly to one side, and your mouth begins to open, but The Doctor beats you to it, "I lost a student not too long ago. Her name was Bill. Bill Potts. I miss her a lot, you see, she was more than just my student. She was also my friend. She made me better. I can see her in you, and I would hate to... " He pauses, "I'm just worried about how many classes you've missed. You may not be able to pass my course."
You're really confused now. The gears are turning in your head, processing his confession of loss turned into you not passing the class. The Doctor can see the gears turning on your face, in the way your eyebrows scrunch intensely and your pupils move back and forth. You close your eyes, relax your face, and look at him with a smile.
"I would like to go to your office, yeah. Thank you." Your eyes are sincere, and when you meet his, so are they.
You follow him a short ways through campus to his office. His steps and your steps opposite. Like the drumming.
One, two, three, four.
One, two, three, four.
You try to ignore it. You try really hard but can't. You stop walking, and the drumming stops. You sigh in relief, The Doctor looks back at you with concern.
"Sorry," you say, catching up to him with a smile, "I thought I saw something."
"Like what?" He asks, curiosity filling his face.
"Oh, nothing." You weren't expecting him to ask. You didn't know what to say.
He hums in response, picking up pace until you're at his office. It's a huge room with a desk in the middle, you take a seat on one side of it while The Doctor sits opposite. He has many picture frames on his desk, and a mysterious blue police box in the corner you can't take your eyes off.
One, two, three, four.
"What's that?" you ask, pointing at the box before you can help yourself.
"A police box. It's from London in the 60's. I'm a bit of a collector of sorts."
He had this lie down pat. But you could tell he wasn't being truthful, you didn't know how, but you knew. You didn't press on about the box. You just nodded and smiled, "That's cool."
He nodded too. "Let's talk about why you've been missing class. Is everything okay back home? Anything I can do to help?"
One, two, three, four.
Something compelled you to be honest with him. Again, you didn't know what. He felt familiar. Of course you've known him the whole semester, but it felt more than that. You feel safe. You feel seen. You feel known. You knew when he lied to you just a second ago, but why?
One, two, three, four.
"Can I be honest?" you make eye contact with him, "Like, you won't lock me up in the looney bin for being crazy?" He's about to say something but you interrupt him, "And won't get me kicked out of the school or, or, I don't know, send me off to get government testing?"
He's confused now. But curious too. You can tell he's interested in what you're saying, he wants to know more. It doesn't feel like he's going to judge you. "Yes, you can be honest. You can trust me."
"Promise?" You hold out your pinky. Sure it's silly, but silly makes it more meaningful, more powerful, somehow.
He chuckles and interlocks your pinkies, "Promise."
"Okay." You stop to think.
One, two, three, four.
"So I have this noise in my head."
One, two, three, four.
"It's like drumming. One, two, three, four."
One, two, three, four.
The Doctor stiffens. "And it won't stop, Doctor." you continue. "And it's like it's affecting my thoughts. They're all negative and I'm depressed and it hurts. It really hurts, Doctor." Tears are streaming down your face. You weren't even aware talking about this would make you cry. And you didn't know why you told The Doctor about it.
After a moment of thinking, The Doctor moves from his chair and towards you. His movements are stiff. As if he's nervous. He knows something you don't. He leans down and wraps his arms around you, your head at his chest. You cry harder, and he pulls you closer in comfort.
One, two, three, four.
One, two, three, four.
One, two, three, four.
One, two, three, four.
The drumming was louder than ever. In your head and in your ears. It's not scary anymore though. You move your head away from The Doctor to release you from the hug. The drumming stops. You reach out to his chest without asking, without thinking.
On your hand you feel two heartbeats.
One, two, three, four.
You put your other hand to your own heart. Only one heartbeat. One, two.
Why did he have two heartbeats. One, two, three, four. Why was his the drumming.
"Why-" you start, but need to close your eyes and breathe, "Why does your heart sound like the drumming. Why do you have two heartbeats?"
"Follow me." He walked to the blue police box, opened the door and went inside. You sat there for a moment stunned. Then you cleared your face from your tears and got up. You made your way towards the box, looking at the door before walking inside.
You looked around in amazement. You couldn't believe what you were seeing. Your face broke out into a huge grin. You ran outside and back inside. "This defies all laws of physics! How is it-? It's?" You looked at him expectantly.
"C'mon, I know you want to say it." He had an equally bright, shit-eating grin.
"It's bigger on the inside!"
He laughed with his whole chest and body. His laugh was contagious.
"This," he gestures around the room, "is my T.A.R.D.I.S. Time And Relative Dimension In Space. And I'm a Time-Lord from the planet Gallifrey. We have two hearts, hence the two heartbeats."
You look at him; confusion, amazement, admiration and more displayed on your face.
"Now I don't know why you're hearing my species' heartbeats in your head, but I'm going to figure it out." He looks at you and smiles, you can't help but smile back, "If you want to come with me?"
"With you where?" you ask.
"Anywhere! In the whole wide universe. Not really sure where to start to help you though. Or when for that matter?"
You've never been so confused so many times in the span of one day. "But I have other classes? And don't you too?" Something clicks in your brain, "And what about my parents? And I barely know you! No offense, Doctor. I can't go traveling with someone I don't know."
"If anyone can help you, y/n, it's me. There might not be anyone else in the whole universe." You look at him, desperate now after hearing his words. "And as for your other classes and your family- TARDIS, t," he said, dragging out the sound, "stands for time. She's a time machine. Can take you right back to this moment." He smiled confidently, and made his way towards the center of the room where some sort of console was. He puts his hands on a lever, and looks at you again.
"What?" You asked, awestruck.
"Let me show you." Mischief flashes across his face, but you can tell it's more childlike than malicious. Which is odd for a man who is likely in his sixties.
A whirring sound comes from the center. The door slams shut and the lights start fluctuating. You find it hard to steady yourself as the floor becomes unstable.
"Grab onto something!" The Doctor yells. You do, a railing a few feet away. You grab on tight and try to stand up right. The Doctor is laughing with joy.
One, two, three, four.
The drumming in your head is drowned out by the TARDIS whirring. The whirring sound would soon become a new comfort. And the TARDIS a new home. And The Doctor, he would soon become the most special and fantastic person in your life.
You knew today was going to be a good day. And there are thousands more to come. Thousands more with The Doctor.
He was going to stop the drumming in your head, no matter what he had to do.
16 notes · View notes
xx-ashes-xx · 2 years
Text
Rival!Enhypen reacting to where they lock eyes with you at a party
The original request was 'enemy' but I don't really know how to implement that without it being like spies or gangs, a few of them are actually enemies I think but most of them are rivals. I don't really have experience in writing that so I hope you're happy with this instead. I'm sorry if this is not what you wanted and I'll try to properly write what you want if you decide to submit a request next time!
Honestly, this one is the same as the last, I had a few good ideas for some members while others I didn't. And I believe that some of these reactions aren't how Enhypen would actually act. A few of them are AUs as well so keep that in mind. I hope you enjoy!
Word Count: 2127
Genre: I honestly don't know, drama ig, maybe a bit of romance and fluff. Probably crack too
Warnings: Cursing, a bit of NSFW, reader is female in a few of these
Disclaimers: This is only writing. Enhypen may or may not act this way and this is not accurate to the members' personalities, this is only how I think they'll act and react, please read with that in mind. If you don't like my work don't interact then.
Heeseung:
It was a business party/award ceremony
You and Heeseung were CEOs of rival companies
They were about to announce which one of you was the better company
You stared, impatiently, hoping to win the award
"And the best sales company goes to.. (Heeseung's company name)!"
Your face dropped
You looked over at him and he was smirking while looking at the MC
He then looked at you and his smirk grew wider
"That little shit.." you whispered under your breath
He stood up and went up to get his award
While you glared at him
His speech was about as you expected
Until
"Lastly, I want to thank my love for motivating me to be better, for motivating me to work harder."
He then made eye contact with you
And winked
You were a bit confused
He never did this before
Was he just teasing
He probably was
But still
At the after-party, you took his hand and went to a private area
"What was that last part of your speech about?"
"What do you mean?"
"'My love?' Since when was I 'your love?'"
"Well, since now."
He pulled you in by the waist and kissed you
Let's say you were convinced to be his after that
You two both joined companies
With him still being CEO and you being CFO
Jay:
It was senior prom
You and Jay were academic rivals
With you being 1st and him being 2nd
You would always taunt him about it
Leading to the start of an argument
You two went with different people
You with the guy you've been seeing at the time
And he with his friends
Throughout your school years, he has never dated anybody or showed interest in anybody
Even when he was asked out by any attractive girls
You always thought it was because he thought he was out of their league
But when you two locked eyes across the dance floor
You felt a swell in your chest
With your face heating up a bit
And back straightening
You never felt this at any other time you met eyes with him
But maybe it was the way he looked in the suit
I mean you saw him in a suit multiple times already at competitions or senior pictures
Or maybe it was the way his black hair was parted
He would switch hair colors from time to time but tonight he dyed it back to black
You shook those thoughts away and looked back at him
Only to see him walk toward you
He stopped in front of you and nervously cleared his throat
"May I have a dance?" He asked
"U-Uh.. sure.." You answered
It was odd, to say the least
You two were a bit awkward, stiff even
"We should be more comfortable after knowing each other for our entire high school years." He commented
"Right.."
You stepped closer to him, wrapping your arms around his neck as his hands slithered around your waist
"Luh-Like this?"
"I-If you're comfortable."
You couldn't look him in the eye, looking off somewhere else to avoid a blush forming.
"Um- I have something important to tell you."
"What is it?" You asked
"I'm in love with you." He blurted out
"When I saw you in your dress, I couldn't think straight. You look beautiful and whenever I'm near you it gets hard to breathe... Maybe that's why I'm always in second place." He joked
"O-Oh."
You thought back to whenever you were with Jay
You always catch yourself staring but always brushed it off as analyzing him
Maybe you had feelings too
You looked him in the eye
He was blushing and you felt yours forming
"W-Well take me out on a date first. Then we'll see."
He grinned widely
"Alright."
Jake:
It was at an idol afterparty
You and Jake were always compared to each other, having similar skills
So you two were basically rivals in the industry
You were chatting with a few friends from other groups when something caught your eye
Jake just walked in, with his shirt unbuttoned
You stared at his torso for a bit before looking back up to see him looking at you
Smirking
You became embarrassed and quickly looked away
A few seconds later, you felt a tap on your shoulder
You looked over and it was Jake
"Can we talk privately?" (Oh god even this is making me a bit shy)
"Oh uh, sure!"
You went to a private room
A bedroom that is ;))
"So.. what did you want to talk about?"
"Well, people have always compared us. And I want to settle things."
"Oh? How?? Do you want to arm wrestle or do jumping jacks or have a dance-off?" You joked
"Those could be good options... Why didn't I think of that?"
You laughed
"No, I thought that maybe we could.. wrestle."
"Wrestle?"
"Well you're quite attractive.. and my type. And there's a bed here."
Oh.
He meant that type of wrestling
It was a bit strange
But I mean
Jake is asking you to 'wrestle' with him
Why not?
Let's say
It was something else
A whole new experience for you
After, you exchanged numbers
And didn't mind being compared to Jake
Because now you both knew who was better
At least, better in bed. (LMAO)
Sunghoon:
You two were ice skaters
And currently competing to be the best in your city
You just finished your routine
And when you looked up
Sunghoon was in front of you
With his jaw slightly opened
Causing you to smirk
You bowed to the judges and to the audience
Who threw you penguin plushies
You picked a few up before heading off the rink
You headed to your coach and drank some water when Sunghoon walked up
"Hey."
"Hey."
"You did great out there."
"Thanks."
"Can we meet up for coffee or something sometime?"
"Why?"
"Well... I want to learn a bit about your techniques. Just ice skating things I want to talk about."
"Oh, Uhm, sure."
"Cool."
He smiled
"My coach will give you my number since it's about to be my turn... Wish me luck?"
"Ha, sure." You chuckled
He rolled his eyes and went inside the rink
You watch him perform and just wow
He looked so.. handsome
Maybe his offer of coffee sometime wasn't a bad thing
Because you two might be interested in each other instead of 'just ice skating things you two wanted to talk about'
Sunoo:
You two had the same friends but didn't get along
Every time one of you would mention something, the other would try to one-up it
And believe me when I say it was irritating
You both were at a mutual friend's birthday party
Your friend was considered rich, as her parents rented out a ballroom for her 19th birthday
You and Sunoo sat at tables far away from each other
Glancing at each other from time to time
At the end of the party, your whole friend group met up to chat about the party at the photobooth
You were happily chatting with a friend when you glanced at Sunoo, with who you locked eyes with
He looked at you with that sickeningly sweet grin and eye smile
You gotta admit it, he looks cute whenever he smiles
After a bunch of friends went home, it was you, Sunoo, and a few others who decided to stay a bit more
They were talking to each other while you and Sunoo were both talking to no one, on your phones
You decided to be the one who started the conversation
"Hey Sunoo.. how did our friendship become like this? How did it even start?"
"I.. honestly don't remember why... Do you want to start over?"
"Yeah sure."
You and Sunoo exchanged socials and numbers after that
And started hanging out more
And found out that you two agreed on a lot of things and had a lot in common
You two basically became best friends after that and were a lot closer to each other than everybody else in your two's friend group
Some might say, you got together
Who knows ;)))
Jungwon:
He loved cats, you hated them
You loved dogs, he wasn't that fond of them
The classic cat and dog opposites
You were cheerful, loud, easily excited, dumb at times, a golden retriever basically
He was calm, intelligent, quiet, a bit emotionless sometimes, like a cat
And that led to many arguments between the two of you
You didn't like how he barely reacts to anything, how it seemed like he didn't care and how insensitive he can be
While he didn't like how loud you can get and how dumb you can be at times
You and a few friends decided to go out
To a cat cafe
Now you only go to dog cafes
So this was the first time you're going to a cat cafe
At first, you declined but then a bit of spamming from your friends of cute cat pictures convinced you
You walked in only to see Jungwon working as the cashier
Staring right back at you
You quickly looked away and sat down with your friends
You guys ordered and then everybody split off to play with some cats
While you were at the table, sitting awkwardly
Jungwon noticed this and came up with an idea
He picked up a gray cat and headed over to your table
"Hey Y/N, why aren't you going out to play with the cats?"
He sat down next to you, with the gray cat laying on his lap
"You know why."
He smirked at your words
"Here then, play with Smokey."
He picked up the gray cat from his lap and set him on yours
You stiffened, not knowing what to do
"Just pet him."
You cautiously placed your hand on the back of Smokey, petting him gently
"You're acting as if he's going to scratch you. Don't worry, he's one of the older cats and is very chill."
"Oh."
You and Jungwon talked as you got more comfortable petting Smokey and playing with him
"I didn't know you were so nice to talk to."
"Maybe if you weren't so loud at school, I would've been."
You rolled your eyes at his reply
You and Jungwon got closer after that
He even confessed that he liked being around you
You two acted like a couple, making everyone believe that you two were dating
Even though you weren't
But hey
Opposites attract
Ni-ki:
Ni-ki was the class clown
He was irritating to be around
At least that's how you felt
He would always bother you
Only you
Asking dumb questions
Messing with your stuff
Or be annoyingly too close to you
You were at lunch with friends
Venting about Ni-ki and how you wanted to rip out your hair because of him
"Speaking of the devil."
You turned your head and saw Ni-ki acting the same way with another girl
You were a bit relieved that he wasn't only doing it to you anymore
But a little jealous
Since him acting that way towards you
Was a bit special
Because only he acted that way with you
You stared until he looked over at you
Giving you that stupid smirk
You rolled your eyes and looked away, going back to talk to your friends
Everything was going nicely until you heard a slam in front of you
It was Ni-ki
"Oh god, you're bothering me at lunch now too?
"Well, you're my favorite girl."
Your friends made 'ooo' sounds in response while you became red
"Honestly Ni-ki, can you quit it? I've had enough of you."
You got up and walked out of the cafeteria, you were walking to the vending machines until someone grabbed your arm and turned you around
Again, Ni-ki
He pinned you to the nearest wall
His left hand was next to your head while his right hand was still holding your arm
He let go of your arm and put it next to your head as well, leaning down so his face was in front of yours
"Seriously? Leave me alone-"
He suddenly kissed you
In front of people
Not gonna lie, you quite liked it
But was never going to admit it
You broke the kiss and looked at him with furrowed eyebrows
"I like you."
"Well if you like me, then you shouldn't have annoyed me and treated me like entertainment. I'm still pissed at you."
"I'll make it up then, another kiss."
You caved in after that, admitting to yourself that he was a bit attractive
Soon you didn't mind Ni-ki bothering you
Hell, he even became a bit sweeter after that
Safe to say, you became a couple by the end of the month
263 notes · View notes
svfttachi · 1 year
Note
can i get a genma x f reader where genma loves reader but reader doesn’t think she’s gemma’s type at all since he pulls a lot of females who are just different from reader (ex: body, height, style, etc) but he wants to make it clear to her that he loves her for herself and wants to be with reader 👉🏽👈🏽
we need more of genma plz😩
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TYPE: Fem!reader, Fluff
WARNING(S): Insecurity Talk
WC: 1071
NOTES: This was a good idea and very easy to accomplish, but I hope everybody reading this understands that nothing anybody says to you should bring you down. We are all pretty and beautiful in our own ways, and nobody should be able to let you forget that. With that in mind, hope you enjoy reading this!
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INSECURITIES occur in every shape, way, and form in almost everybody walking on the planet. Relationships are one of the ways that insecurities come up and prevail the most. At least, that was the case for you. It has been a year since the night that Shiranui Genma confessed to you with a bouquet of flowers, a candlelit picnic, and a shiny night sky. That night was the most romantic night you have ever experienced, but it also began the string of hatred that has followed behind you ever since.
Day by day, just walking in the village was enough to trigger your emotions because of the looks you get. Women younger and older than you judged you for being with the one and only Shiranui Genma, who was notorious for going out with half of the village’s population. When it comes to looks, he takes the gold star, and when it comes to romantic gestures, he takes the whole cake. You, on the other hand, did not feel like you could step up to the level of every girl he has ever gone out with, especially since people continued to look at you differently.
Frankly, you wondered what kept you in the spotlight in Genma’s eyes. When you were walking in the village gaining those staring eyes, you couldn’t understand what exactly Genma saw in you. You were just an average girl in your own eyes, and to some of those other girls, you were a little less.
“Hey, hon, are you ready for—”
Currently, you are sitting in front of the big floor mirror in your shared bedroom, staring at your reflection. As you prodded at your lips, eyes, nose, and cheeks, you were completely oblivious to the gentle and calming tone of Genma’s voice entering the room and cutting himself off halfway through his sentence. He stood at the door frame, watching as you viewed yourself in the mirror. “Y/N?” Genma called out to you, knocking lightly on the wall.
You snapped out of the craze you were in and turned your torso to look at the source of the knocking. His hazel eyes bore into your own E/C orbs, and it was clear that he knew something was wrong. “Is… there a reason why you’re sitting on the cold, hardwood floor, staring at the mirror?” Genma questioned with his arms crossed over his chest.
“Um… I—I was making sure there was no lint in my hair,” you muttered, immediately getting off of the floor, “It must have blown right off by the fan.”
A nervous giggle escaped your mouth as you began to avoid eyeing Genma. The highly experienced jonin wasn’t pleased with the answer you gave him, so he walked up to you. The toothpick stuck in between his lips shot out of his mouth and directly into the trashcan next to the mirror. You were caught off guard by the sudden action, but the hands that pressed onto your shoulders were enough to bring your focus back on Genma. Now, the eye contact was inevitable, and you can clearly see the sparkle in his eyes as he looked at you.
“Y/N, you can tell me anything, you know?” Genma whispered quietly, waiting for a response from you.
No verbal or physical response was given to the man, yet there was a small signal that showed you were suffering on the inside. A tear escaped from the corner of your eye and began to roll down the side of your nose. It wasn’t long before you were comfortably in the strong arms of Genma with a hand placed on the back of your head. You brought your own arms up to wrap around his torso as the tears began to fall faster thanks to gravity.
“Why do you like me so much, Gen?” you asked, words somewhat muffled against the soft material of his t-shirt. Genma furrowed his brows at your peculiar question and started to pull away so he could get a good look at your face. He could see the seriousness displayed on your face, but he didn’t know why you would ask such a question. “What do you mean, Y/N? Are people looking at you weirdly in the village again? If so, I’m going to have a word with anyone who looks at you differently than I do,” Genma spoke with tenderness in his tone.
“It’s gotten worse, Gen… sometimes I would just be getting the groceries, and someone would whisper about you and why you chose me out of all the pretty girls around here. And I keep thinking that it has to be my physical appearance that sets me away from everyone else in the village… and it hurts to look at myself in the mirror looking for the reason behind the gossip,” you said, mumbling some of your words through your sad tone.
Genma sighed and brought the hem of his shirt up to rub away the tears still protruding from your face, taking in the appearance of your red eyes. He was aware of the talks that go around, especially when he walks around the village as well. It always centered around Genma’s type and who he finds attractive, and everytime he overheard someone talking about it, he could only wish to talk some sense into those people either physically or verbally. But your face comes into his mind whenever he does hear these people talking about his relationship with you, and it would be enough for him to calm down. He just didn’t think it would get to you this badly, and it never has been this bad for you.
“Y/N, you’re the only girl I would ever want to be with. You’re the prettiest, beautiful, and sparkling ray of sunshine that has ever made its way in my path, and I am so grateful that we went official one year ago. I don’t know what I would do if I didn’t get to wake up next to you every morning or eat lunch and dinner together everyday. Honestly… I’d probably go insane because there is this amazing girl that I could never imagine with anyone but me. And anyone who has anything to say about that can come say it to my face directly,” Genma said, beginning to caress your cheeks, “I love you so much, Y/N.”
“I love you, too.”
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125 notes · View notes
Note
May I request Blue Exorcist Lucifer relationship headcanons with a half angel female s/o? Please and thank you!
Not me looking up who tf Lucifer from blue exorcist is, I only watched the first season... ☠
Also, I'm doing this like a fic, so it's going to be very long!
Anywaysssss, I tried my best! Also, I'm sorry for taking so long! 
I didn’t proofread..
Here you have:
Lucifer's relationship with a half angel s/o!
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I hope it's okay if I put this in headcannons...
How you two first met:
So, as I have researched, your dear Lucifer is a polite man, level-headed and has great manners!
I'd like to think that he likes to go on walks and such, just...enjoying the peace and quiet.
And where would that fit best?
Right.
A cemetery.
So, as he looks over the many graves, reading some familiar names to which he apologizes in his head, also wishing them a peaceful afterlife, he hears you.
You're not crying. Rather talking. Sitting in front of a row of graves, putting a different kind of flower species in a bouquet to every single grave which you've decided to grace with your presence.
Now, don't get me wrong. He didn't know that you were an angel, or a half angel, at least. You looked like a decent human to him.
But, he was intrigued with the way you spoke to a bunch of dead people as if they could hear you. But oh well, everyone had their fair way of coping when dealing with losing their loved ones.
Lucifer could see your face, you kneeled in front of a small grave, your hands starting to shake.
He goes over to you, ready to help, when he sees wings spreading out from behind your back.
He quickly looks around him as if to make sure that no one is here.
But surprisingly, there's no other person beside him except you and the hundred other dead people buried in the ground.
Then he mentally slaps himself, because why did he check if anybody was looking? those were your wings and not his.
Just as he could think deeper into this, you spoke up. "Oh, I'm so sorry, ah. Um, well, you see, those are....not-not ...real?", you muttered, gesturing to your very real looking wings. trying to lie. Too bad you were partly an angel, so not telling the truth was rather impossible for you.
He gave you a look.
To which you slumped your shoulders.
With a sigh, you introduced yourself. "My name is Yira Hideyo, and you are...?"
You didn't expect him to turn into a gentleman though. "I am Lucifer, also known as the King of the Light. And I couldn't help but notice how...etheral, you looked while you conversed with the gone."
You looked to the graves, a sad and solemn expression on your face. your wings dissapeared. "They're...my friends. They all died during a tragic incident. And what will happen now? Will you kill me?"
He was perplexed, to say the least. You elaborated. "Well, you're like, the king of the light, Lucifer, and you're most possibly a demon. My identity was revealed to you the moment I showed my wings to the public eye."
He sighed. "I am not really one to look for danger, war, or negativity. I want peace."
You didn't trust him at first, but after you two talked about what he was meaning and what you'd like for the world, you two started to become...aquaintances.
How you two got together:
Lucifer frequented that place from now on, in hopes of seeing you again. Because first of all, why was an angel like you here on earth? How did your friends die? And ... why did he even want to see you at all?
It all started to make sense when he felt weird sensations whenever you noticed him and waved at him. When you smiled.
When you talked to him about anything and everything. You leading the conversation and him following. A half angel and a demon falling in love with each other.
He asked you out to dinner, after half a year of getting close to you. He felt like you'd be right by his side. Even though you were a half angel, how you'd explained. You told him that you couldn't return home to the heavens, which is why you had to stay here on earth and mourn the dead.
But, you also had to look after an adoptive pet your higher ups have ordered you to. To look after a bunny.
His dinner plans might have been cancelled, but he got to meet an even softer side of you than he did the past months.
You were much more quiet, calm, slow and friendly around that little furball. He adored it.
"This...is a bunny." "Wanna pet it?" “Yes.”
And that’s how he knew that he fell in love with you. 
You were just so...friendly. You did as you were told. You were calm. And he was the same as you. He felt like being together with you would be a good option. So he asked you while laying his hand on that pet of yours. 
You were hesistant, of course. I mean, who wouldn’t be when a literal demon king would ask you to become his significant other. 
You didn’t care if the higher ups in heaven would cut off your wings, because you fell in love with the beautiful man too. 
You loved how well-spoken he was, or how much of a gentleman he could be. He looked at you with nothing but fondness in his eyes. 
You could remember vivdly when he showed you his illness and you just spoke a few spells to cure it (let’s just pretend it went like that), revealing not only a romantic personality, but good looks too.
And when the higher ups tried to take you to heaven to cut off your wings and turn you into a human or worse, a demon, Lucifer defended you, taking you, your belongings and your pet bunny with him to his home. 
There, you two stayed undercover. But, it was nice. To know that the King of Light would protect you from the people who sent you down to earth to do such...human things. 
Now, talking about your guys’ relationship (I’m sorry it took so long, I just tend to write much, like a story to get into the flow, you know?), I think that it would be a very calm and loving one. 
Lucifer would compliment your very appearance daily, also your voice when you sang a song, ask about the different kinds of flowers again and again so that he could burn them in his mind. 
His love language would be acts of service, like giving you gifts, doing some household chores when you were not able to, giving you a massage or just simply being with you in one room. 
This leads to his second type of love language. Along with acts of service, he would be really into quality time, and I think he would also be a touch-starved person. I headcannon that because of his illness, nobody wanted to get close to him in fear of getting infected, so when you touched his cheek or hand the first time, he felt anxious, telling you to not touch him. 
But, after talks and reassurements such as lingering touches, the demon finally gave in and let you hug him, which was something he never knew he needed until this very moment. He is a clingy, touch deprived gentleman. 
Referring back to your wings, I think he would be mesmerized. It could be the first time that he had seen a woman with the wings of a bird attached to her back. Leading to him constantly giving you back massages in hopes of getting your non-existent back pain from having such large wings away. 
He also asked you to show him your wings again, and when you also offered for him to touch them, he hesitated. But when he touched the feathers, ir felt like he touched clouds. Soft and fluffy to the touch.
To the topic of you being some sort of half angel, Lucifer thought that you could have done womething wrong. 
But then you explained to him that you were about to become an angel. You were just a dead person, who has done too many good deeds to go to her afterlife. And that was how you were practically forced to watch your loved ones either keep climbing up to heaven or slide down to enivetable hell. 
Some nights would be spent with you crying over all the people you had to leave in order to become an angel, but you didn’t even accomplish that- to which Lucifer felt very guitly. It was his fault that you couldn’t become a full angel after all. 
When he asked you what a whole angel could do, you only shrugged your shoulders in childish wonder, because you genuinly didn’t know the answer either. 
That was how he promised himself to take care of you from now on, so that these stupid higher ups wouldn’t take you from him.
So, all in all, your guys’ relationship would be very sweet and loving. Even though there would be some dark moments with you thinking about your dead friends, and Lucifer thinking about putting hell and earth (or was it heaven??) together, you two would always comfort each other.
...
Phew, I hope it was alright with you. I think that given to the lack of information about that character - or maybe he had more screentime- I couldn’t really give him a personality other than making him polite and calm...sorry.
Anyways, I’m open for other requests!
109 notes · View notes
peonyblossom · 1 year
Note
If you have time, and feel like it, would you write the conversation between E&S about what she got up to in Vegas and/or the exclusive talk? Sounds like it would be juicy 🤭
What She Did In Vegas...
Book: Open Heart 2 (post-Vegas) Pairing: Ethan Ramsey x f!MC (Sadie Oakley) Other Characters: Jackie Varma, Bryce Lahela (mention) Words: 1253 Category: Angsty fluff Rating: Mature Warnings: No actual NSFW actions, but some NSFW conversation Summary: As soon as Sadie gets home from her trip to Las Vegas with the roomies, she feels compelled to ask Ethan about their relationship becoming exclusive. AO3 link here A/N: I am so sorry it took me so long to answer this! I hope you're still here and able to enjoy this fic🫶
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I didn’t cheat. I did not cheat. Right? We never said we were exclusive. And besides, what happens in Vegas… is not going to stay in Vegas. I need to tell Ethan. 
Sadie’s leg bounced up and down as she sat on the edge of her bed, waiting for her phone to turn on. She had stupidly allowed it to die on the plane home and was finally able to charge it. As soon as it turned on she rushed to unlock it and opened her text messages.
Hey! I’m back in Boston, can we talk?
Sadie put her phone down and rubbed her hands down her face. She stood up and paced around the small room, biting her thumbnail. Oh God, what is he going to say? Is he going to know something is up? What if he doesn’t want to talk to me? What if he does and– Somehow, Sadie heard her phone buzz over her thoughts. She stopped pacing and stared at her phone from a distance for a bit before working up the courage to read the message.
I coincidentally have the day off. Do you want to come over?
Sadie took a shaky deep breath before sending her response.
Yeah, sounds great! See you soon 😘
Was that too flirty? I mean, we are dating, but is it going to stay that way after this conversation? No, I need to stop thinking about it and just get ready.
Trying to physically dissolve her anxiety, Sadie shook her head, before touching up her makeup and putting on her shoes and coat. 
“Where are you going?” Jackie asked from the kitchen as Sadie was walking to the door.
“Ethan’s.”
“I should’ve guessed.” Jackie smirked.
Sadie rolled her eyes. “Shut up.” 
The cool air whipped itself against Sadie’s skin as she opted to walk to Ethan’s instead of taking the bus or an Uber, hoping the fresh air would calm her. It… kind of worked. Unfortunately, it also left her with more time to pour over the anxious thoughts in her brain. God, I hope he’s not mad at me. We never said we were exclusive. I was in Vegas. Shit happens in Vegas. Surely, he’ll understand that. Right? Why did I do it though? I want to be exclusive with Ethan. I don’t need anybody but him. I mean, Jackie and Bryce were fun, but definitely a ‘what happens in Vegas’ kind of moment. I don’t need to do that again. I don’t even really want to. I just want Ethan.
Upon entering the lobby of Ethan’s apartment building, Sadie used the doorbell to get buzzed in. She took another deep breath as she entered the elevator. It’s going to be fine. He’s going to understand. He won’t be mad. Fuck. She knocked on the door, just hard enough for Ethan to hear. He came to the door quickly, smiling when he saw Sadie.
“Welcome back.” He kissed Sadie’s lips chastely, before she entered the apartment. She gently kicked her shoes off and sat on the couch next to Ethan. “Is there something specific you want to talk about or you were just wanting to see me?”
“Are we exclusive?” Sadie blurted.
“What?” Ethan asked, taken aback.
“Sorry, I just, um, do you want to be exclusive?” Sadie tried instead.
“I… do, but I didn’t want to push you too fast after.. anyway, why do you ask?” Ethan gently placed his hand on Sadie’s leg, encouraging her.
She took a deep breath before answering. Just tell him. “I… hooked up with… a couple people in Vegas.”
“A couple?” Ethan questioned nonjudgmentally.
“It was… Jackie and Bryce. But please don’t tell them that I told you! At least not that I told you it was them.”
“At the… same time?”
“Yes.” Sadie looked at the ground as Ethan struggled to find a response. “Are you upset?”
Ethan quickly responded, “No! No, I’m not upset. I understand.” Sadie’s anxiety lessened immensely as soon as she heard his reassurance. “We weren’t exclusive yet and you were in Vegas. I’m really not surprised you had a hook up. The fact that one of the people was Bryce, on the other hand…”
“Okay, hey!”
“I’m just saying I didn’t think he was your type.” Ethan shrugged. “I know you and Jackie have a history, but Bryce is a bit of a surprise.”
“Okay, fine, fair enough.” Sadie sighed. She felt like a weight had been lifted off her chest and she could finally breathe easily again. “Thank you for understanding. Mostly.”
“You’re welcome.” Ethan wraps his arms around Sadie, pulling her into a hug and placing a kiss to her forehead. Sadie instinctively snuggled into his chest more. 
“So, we’re exclusive now?” Sadie smiled into Ethan’s chest. God, I’ve wanted this for so long.
“Yes, honey.” Ethan smiled as well.
“Yay. I’m glad we had this conversation.” 
“Me too. But I think we should have another conversation now.”
Sadie stiffened as her anxiety returned and her heart started racing. Fuck, what does he want to talk about now? “What… conversation?” She asked slowly, breaking herself out of Ethan’s hold. Did I do something wrong?
“You had a threesome. Is that something you want to do again?” 
“Um, I’d be… open to it, but it’s not something I’d… actively seek out, I think.” Sadie looked at Ethan. “Why? Is it something you want to do? Is it something you have done?” 
Ethan laughed as he pulled Sadie’s legs over his own. “I… have. A long time ago. I think it’s something I’d need to think about more before deciding if it’s something I’d like to do again.” 
“Okay. That makes sense. Just let me know if you want to, then, ’kay?”
“Okay, baby.” Ethan leaned over and kissed Sadie’s mouth. “That is definitely something I can do.” Ethan placed his forehead against Sadie’s. “Thank you for telling me about your… activities in Vegas.”
“Of course,” Sadie said before Ethan could finish.
“Is there anything else you want to tell me about the trip?” Ethan quipped.
“No, nothing like that at least.” Sadie shook her head. There was definitely more to tell him, but not right now.
“Nothing about Panacea?”
“Oh. You heard about that.” Guess she was telling him now.
“A lot of people heard about that, sweetheart.” Ethan took Sadie’s hands in his to comfort her.
“No, I know, I just…” Sadie sighed. “It really wasn’t my idea or even really about me. I just – we all just – wanted to support Jackie. They really screwed her over, you know?”
“I understand. I think you did a really great thing and I’m proud of you. But you could’ve asked me to help, you know.”
“I know and if it was my problem I would have. But, like I said, it was more about Jackie, so I didn’t want to overstep her boundaries or anything.”
“Okay. I’m happy that you would feel comfortable coming to me for help if it was you.” 
“Of course I would. I know you have my best interests in mind.” Sadie smiled sweetly while looking Ethan in the eye. “Now, if we’re done with the mushy stuff I think we should celebrate our becoming exclusive.” She smirked.
“Oh? And what did you have in mind?” Ethan raised his eyebrows as Sadie stood up from the couch.
“Well, it’s not threesome, but I think we can still come up with something fun.” Sadie winked and walked to the bedroom, leaving her boyfriend to follow.
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Text
you make me feel safe
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*WARNING this part has very dark stuff in it and spoilers for many seasons*
reid is going to be staying with amber so she won't be alone if her ex-boyfriend comes back to hurt her again.
as he is driving, he keeps hearing his team asking him why he is so upset about this case.
spencer thinking. "why can't i just tell them? they would understand, at least hotch would understand, the first time i saw the photo i saw it, she looks so much like maeve, i can't let amber die too, i should just tell them, they will understand".
he pulls into the parking lot of ambers apartment and gets out of the car he goes inside the building; spencer walks down the hallway to ambers apartment wearing a black sweater and black pants.
he rings her doorbell and waits for her to answer.
and she does, wearing a pink tracksuit her hair is in a high ponytail and she has on a necklace that is an A, he thinks she looks beautiful.
"Please come in" amber tells reid as he stands outside her front door.
"thank you, i hope you don't mind me staying here, i will be quite so you won't even know i am here" reid smiles at her.
"you don't have to do that, i feel bad that you have to stay here with me, i can be a bit boring" she tells him.
"i am told a lot that i talk to much, i just know things and want to help the team" reid tells her
"oh, that's not nice" amber says
"it's ok, they are like my family, so i think they just like to pick on me sometimes"
"well still" amber walks to the kitchen.
"can i sit here?" reid asks pointing to the gray sofa.
"oh yes, sit, sit"
" thank you" reid smiles
"Would you like a drink" amber asks with a little bit of fear in her voice.
"only if it not to much trouble"
"no, no it's not" she takes a bottle of spring water out of the fridge and walks back to the living room.
"here you are" she says handing him the bottle.
"are you scared of me?" reid asks softly    
"i am just sacred" she answers
"of me"
"of men" she tells him.
"oh amber you don't have to be scared of me, i would never hurt you, i am here to keep you safe" he tells her
"i know, it's just.....josh got mad so easy" she tells him looking at the floor.
"well i am not josh, and he is a jerk to have done that to you, you should have been treated like a princess" he tells her.
amber looks up and smiles at reid.
"do you really think that?"
"yes i do"
"thank you, no one has ever said that to me before" she tells reid with a little smile.
"well your dumb ass ex should have told you that every day" reid says.
"he never told me that, or even told me he loved me" amber tears up.
"oh amber i'm so sorry, why did you stay with him?, if you don't mind me asking?"
"low self a steam" she starts to cry.
"oh amber don't cry, we are going to get him for what he did to you, and you won't ever have to worry about him or even think about him ever again" reid tells her reaching for her hand.
"you are a good man doctor reid"
"please call me spencer" he smiles
"ok spencer" amber sniffles.
"are you going to be the only one staying with me?" amber asks
"yes, um is that ok?, because i can ask for someone else to ...."
"NO!" amber stops him.
"um ok" reid giggles.
"i mean, i don't want anybody else to stay here, i like you"
"you do?"
"yes you make me feel safe, for the first time in my life, i feel safe" she smiles
"really?"
"Mmhmm, i feel safe with you" she looks right at him as she tells reid.
"you do? well thank you, i am doing my job then" he smiles
"yes you are"
"so i have some books with me, i will just read them and you won't even know i am here" reid tells her.
"oh" amber says sadly
"yep, i will not get in your way, so you just go about your day, like i'm not even here" reid tells her taking a book out of his bag.
"why would i want to act like your not here?" she asked.
"well i didn't think you would want to talk to me all day, and feel like you have to entertain me, i can just read" he says showing her the 900 page book, that would only take him about 5 minutes to read.
"i don't mind, in fact i was going to order some dinner, would you like something?" she asked.
"i don't want to be any trouble"
"oh no, you aren't any trouble at all, i always order a lot, so i can eat it for a few days" she giggles.
"what are we having?" reid asks as he stands up from the sofa.
"Chinese food"
"oh, sounds good!" reid smiles
"i will order everything i like and what would you like?"
"um, cashew chicken please" he smiles
"anything else?
"that should be enough food for the night" he smiles.
"ok, i am ordering it now"
after she orders the food she walks back to the living room.
"it will be an hour.
"ok" he says.
"wow that's a big book, it would take a year for me to read that" amber tells him.
"oh, it will take about 5 minuets for me" he smiles.
"Really?!!  
"yes" he giggles.
"wow, are you a speed reader?" she asks her voice a little higher than before.
"kind of" he smiles.
"i wish i could do that, it takes me forever to read something, but i do write a little bit" she tells reid.
"you do?"
"Mmm-hmm, well i did i never published anything, i though it was really good, till i read it, so i never published it" she sighed.
"well i would love to read it, may i ask what it was about?" reid asks her.
it was about a young girl who thought she was lucky to find a man who loved her, but she was wrong, he turned out to be very mean"
"so it's about you and josh" reid asks softly.
"yes" amber answers looking at her hands.
"it's ok, i feel like it helps to write about things that bother you, it helps to get it out, and i would love to read it, if you wrote it, i know it means a lot to you"
"you would want to read my story?"
"yes i would, if you would be ok with it?"
"would i be ok having a F.B.I agent read my story? well that i don't know about, but you do seem like a very nice man so.....ok!" she stands up and heads to the bedroom where her laptop is.
"um amber?"
"yes?" she looks back with fear not knowing why reid is calling her name.
"can i ask why you are so comfortable with me, i mean it's ok i am glad you are, it's just woman like you, i mean have been through the things you have been through, it takes time, are you sure you are ok with me being here?" he asks.
"i am comfortable with you, i don't really know why, you just make me feel safe and i like it, if you don't want to stay i understand"
" it's not that, i want to make sure you're ok"
"with you i feel a lot better"  she tells he softly.
reid just looks at her not really sure with to say, he blinks a few times.
"i'm glad you do" he tells her.
"i will get that story now" she tells him.
the way she said it, the way her voice sounded was just like Maeve, and she is smart like her too, she writes, sure she doesn't have the confidents to publish any of the stories, but with reid's help she will.
amber comes back into the living room with her pink laptop.
"ok so, i'm still not sure about showing you these, but i trust you so....here you go"
she hands reid the laptop.
"are you sure you want me to reid this?"
"not really, but you are the only one i would ever want to see it, it might help find him?"
"i might" he answers.
just as he was about to read the first word the doorbell rings.
amber gasps.
"i'll get it, it could just be the food, but i want to make sure" reid tells her "it's the food"
reid pays and closes the door.
as amber is taking the trays out of the bag, reid tells her.
"i uh.. i can't eat with chopsticks, i don't know how to use them"
"it's ok, i can't use them ether" she smiles.
"ok" reid says softly.
"and now that i know you can't use them, i don't feel so bad, i mean if a man as smart a you can't use them, then i must not be so bad" she laughs,
they eat and a movie on TV, a movie that was halfway through.
after they eat amber throws the trash in a bag and ties it up.
"easy clean up" she tells reid, again sounding so much like Maeve.
"so did you still want to read the stories?" she asked nervily.
"oh yes! i want to read them"
"are you ok?" she asked.
"i um...yes, i mean i should be the one asking you that" he chuckles.
"it's ok, you seem distracted, if you don't want to read them you don't have too"
"i want to"
"ok, well i will take a shower, and the speed you read at you will be done by the time i get back"
"i could be" he smiles.
"i just want to warn you, they are very dark, it is all things that happened to me, at the hand of josh"
"ok" he looks around the room, not really wanting to know all of the horrible thing's josh had done to amber.
he hears the shower go on and he starts to read the first story.
it starts out good a girl finds love and he is sweet and she thinks he loves her, then the extremely dark side of him comes out, reid can't believe the things he is reading, the horrible things josh did, he doesn't know why amber would let him see this, but she trusted him, and he wanted to keep amber safe, he will not let this end like Maeve, he won't, tears start to form in his eyes reading more and more, this isn't a story, this is a cry for help, if she only would have posted it, someone could have saved her sooner.
it has everything places, times, days, people's names, things he said, things he did.
the water goes off, and he has to stop crying before amber sees him.
he is almost done with the 4th part of the book when amber comes back, in a black pj set with gold piping and a V neck and a hot pink robe over them the robe is open showing off the pj's under it.
"hi" she says reid still reading.
"hi" he looks up at her, she looks so sweet, how could anyone do the things that were done in this book?.
"did you like it?"
"amber, all of these things happened to you? josh did all of this to you?"
"yes" she answered looking at the tan carpet under her bare feet "will this help you?" she asks.
"yes it will, one of the people in this book might be the one who is hiding him"
"really?"
"yes, and even if it isn't someone that is helping him, this will help make sure that when my team does find josh, and believe me they will, it will ensure that they destroy him" reid tells her.
"good, i want to live again" she tells reid with her arms wrapped around herself shivering.
"can i send these to my friend penelope garcia?"
"if it will help yes"
reid sends the stories.
"are you sure you're ok?" amber asks reid.
"yes, you just look so much like a girl i loved" he tells her then looks down.
"oh, well she was very lucky to have you, and dumb for leaving you"
"she died, she was killed Infront oh me" he tears up.
"oh my god, i'm so sorry" amber sits next to him.
"i never even got to hold her, and you look so much like her, i want to save you, i will save you"
"you never held her?" amber whispers.
"no" reid sniffles.
"i know i'm not her, but i am scared and i never really had anyone hold me, if you want you can hold me, i know i'm not the girl you loved and i don't want to make you uncomfortable" she tells him.
"i would like that, if you are ok with it" reid says.
"i would be fine with it" she gets closer to him.
"here?" reid asks.
"here or my bed, but i don't think you want to be in my bed" she giggles.
"oh no! i wouldn't ask for that!"
"well it would be more comfortable in my bed, it's bigger, but we can stay here"
reid leaned back onto the sofa, and pulled amber with him, as he put his arms around her, he felt whole, he felt the way he wished he could have felt with maeve, his eyes started to close, he could see amber was already sleeping, knowing this was the best sleep she has had in a long time, everybody and reid thought he had gotten so Harde since prison, but laying here holding a girl that was so much like maeve, he felt like himself again, as his eyes closed his phone started ringing.
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alyswritings · 2 years
Text
Grief
Spencer Reid x daughter!reader
Summary: Spencer loses the most important person in his life.
Warnings: death, grief, major sadness
a/n: I cried a lot writing this. Please, do not read before you have to go somewhere if you think it'll make you cry lol I hope you enjoy, but sorry for breaking anybody's hearts like I broke mine
(gif not mine)
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The team are doing a local case, trying to find a man and woman team that kidnaps children, dumping their bodies on the side of the road three days later.
Spencer got a call from the principal of his daughter's school saying that a man came and picked her up, but the person wasn't authorized to pick Y/N up. They quickly realized it was the unsubs they were going after that picked her up making the team work ten times harder to find the duo.
Soon enough, they got a location of where the unsubs were and went, Spencer going against Hotch's better judgment, the doctor refusing to just sit back and not try to rescue his daughter.
"FBI! Hands up!" Derek yells, the team storming in with their guns pointed at the unsubs. Y/N is sitting in a chair with her wrists tied to the arms of the chair and her face is full of terror, but she relaxes slightly seeing her dad.
The woman rolls her eyes and plunges a knife into Y/N's stomach making the young girl scream.
Spencer freezes in both terror and shock. Derek pulls the trigger, shooting the woman in the shoulder causing her to fall.
The man quickly grabs the knife and yanks it out of Y/N, stabbing her in a different part of the stomach, the five year old sobbing and screaming.
"No!" Spencer yells. He manages to aim his gun, shooting the man in the head, the unsub falling to the floor dead.
The team deals with the unsubs as Spencer rushes over to Y/N and unties her.
"Hey, baby. Hey, it's okay." Spencer tries to comfort her, ignoring the tears blurring his vision.
"It hurts, daddy." Y/N hiccups.
"I know, baby. It's okay." Spencer says. "Somebody call a medic!" He yells, holding Y/N in his lap.
"Hey, hey, look at me, baby." Spencer brushes some of her sweaty hair back as Y/N looks up at him. "Hey, just keep looking at me, okay? Look at me."
"I'm-- I'm tired." Y/N says quietly, feeling her energy leave her.
"I know, honey. But you can't fall asleep yet, okay? Help is on the way. You have to stay awake." Spencer says, letting his tears finally fall.
"Where the hell are the medics?!" Spencer screams.
"They're getting here, Reid." Derek says, ignoring his own heartbreak as he watches the scene.
"I wanna go to sleep, daddy." Y/N says.
"Not yet, baby. Please, not yet." Spencer cries.
"I'm.. I'm sleepy." She whispers.
Spencer looks down at her and sees just how much blood she's lost and how close she is to death.
"Okay. Go to sleep, baby girl. It's okay." Spencer says, stroking through her hair with his bloody hand. "I love you." He tells her, his voice cracking with each word.
"I... I love..." Y/N's breaths slow until they come to a complete stop. Spencer feels more tears come on.
"Y/N?" Spencer asks, but gets no response. He puts his hand to her cheek, it a bit colder than usual.
Spencer feels his heart break into millions of pieces and he starts sobbing. Spencer cradles Y/N to him, letting his tears fall onto her hair.
The team watch brokenly, all with their own tears streaming down their faces, some already quietly sobbing.
- - -
Four days later is Y/N's funeral. Spencer sits with a blank stare in the front row next to Derek and Emily who try to provide silent comfort. His mother wasn't cleared to leave the sanctuary, the woman having to miss her own granddaughter's funeral.
Spencer barely listens as some of the team members speak at the funeral, simply staring at the small casket that holds his daughter's body.
He's still in a state of disbelief, not understanding how this could happen.
"Reid. You're supposed to speak now." Emily quietly says, knocking him out of his trance. Spencer gets up, standing at the podium.
"Um... I don't... I don't really know what to say. Who would?" Spencer humorlessly chuckles. "But, uh... I loved Y/N. A lot. She was the greatest thing to ever happen to me, and I-- I don't know what I'm gonna do without her. I know the statistics of things like this happening and how common this unfortunate thing is, but... I never though it'd actually happen to me. And I can't-- I can't-- I just can't deal with it."
"Y/N was this bright, sweet, little ball of energy. She's what made me fight and what made me happier than anything. She's why I stopped doing Dilaudid and... and why I made sure to come home every case. I never thought I'd lose her before she was able to lose me. I'm not really sure how to live without her."
Spencer wipes his tears away.
- - -
It's been a week and Spencer has taken off work, having yet to return.
Spencer sits in his messy apartment, lying on the floor, cuddling one of Y/N's stuffed animals to his chest.
"Daddy! Daddy!" Spencer turns at the excited voice that belongs to his daughter.
"What, honey?" Spencer asks, smiling softly at Y/N's excited grin.
"Aunt Penny got me a new stuffie!" Y/N exclaims, holding up the stuffed octopus just gifted to her by Penelope.
"She did? Don't you think you have enough at home?" Spencer asks.
"You can never have too many stuffed animals, daddy." Y/N states.
"Is that so?" Spencer chuckles.
"Uh-huh." Y/N nods.
Spencer studies the octopus, his eyes growing teary again.
There's a knock on Spencer's front door.
"Reid?" He hears Penelope call through the chunk of wood. "I brought you some muffins." Her voice sounds broken. She's missing the little girl too. "I know you haven't talked to anybody, but maybe... maybe it'd help."
She doesn't get a response.
"I'm just gonna leave it here with the others." Penelope says, putting the muffin basket down next to the other gift baskets she left. She knows there's nothing she can do to cure his pain, but she can try to comfort him somehow. And she can only do so much when he's locked away.
- - -
"When do you think Reid will come back?" Penelope asks the team as they're about to go out for another case.
"Who knows." Derek shrugs. "I probably wouldn't be back for a while."
"If Henry ever died, I..." JJ stops, thinking of the terrible hypothetical. "I don't think I'd ever be able to come back."
"He's probably blaming himself. For not getting there sooner." Emily says.
"We just have to give him time. Eventually he'll come back... or resign." Hotch says.
- - -
Two months later and Spencer has decided to temporarily go on leave. He can't step into the BAU without wanting to break down and he also failed the test to even be able to go back to the job.
Spencer managed to clean up his apartment some, but it still somehow seems to be a mess. He hasn't touched any of Y/N's stuff, refusing to move anything he has left of her.
Spencer is swirling his spoon around in his cereal, not having much of an appetite. He takes another swig of his sugared up coffee, it being his fifth one today. The bags under his eyes are darker, the man not sleeping much. Most of the time he does, he wakes up in a cold sweat from a nightmare about Y/N dying.
Spencer looks at the flyer on the fridge for a daddy daughter dance that was scheduled for the week after Y/N's death. She was so excited to go.
"Daddy! Look at this!" Y/N rushes into the BAU where her dad is.
"What?" Spencer asks and Y/N hands him a piece of paper. Spencer reads it, finding it to be a flyer for a daddy daughter dance.
"Can we go? Can we? Can we? Can we?" Y/N asks, her eyes full of hope.
"Of course we can, sweetie." Spencer smiles making Y/N excitedly jump up and down.
"Ooh, how fun. Us women can take you dress shopping." Penelope offers.
"Yeah!" Y/N excitedly nods.
"You don't have to." Spencer says.
"We want to." Emily says.
Spencer goes over to the fridge and rips the flyer off. He looks at everything else up on the fridge and throws it all to the floor. Spencer moves to the living room and starts taking books off of the shelves, throwing them around. Once he's done with that, Spencer shoves everything off of his desk and kicks his chair over.
Spencer continues to trash his apartment, having started crying at some point, but he's not sure when.
The adrenaline suddenly leaves him and he drops to the floor, sobbing.
"Why her? Why her? Why her? Why her?!" He cries to himself.
- - -
A few months later, JJ managed to get Spencer to go out to lunch, the doctor not providing much conversation.
"So, um..."
"Don't small talk, please." Spencer mutters, swirling his spoon in the bowl of soup in front of him.
"Okay." JJ nods. "What do you wanna talk about?" She asks.
"We should've moved sooner." Spencer says. "If we would've-- if my mind would've worked quicker, we could've gotten their sooner. We should've had the medics go with us. We knew there could've been injured kids or something. Or dead kids."
"Spence, you can't--"
"I can blame myself. It's all I've been doing. It's all I can think about. She didn't deserve that. She didn't deserve any of that. It was my job to protect her and I failed. I failed at protecting her, I-- I failed at being her father."
"Spence." JJ gets his attention. "What happened is tragic and I'm not trying to downplay your grief or anything. But you did not fail. Could we have gotten there sooner? Maybe. But that doesn't mean what happened would've changed. And I know you're heartbroken and I know it probably isn't easy. But you didn't fail."
"That little girl loved you with all of her heart and soul. She loved you more than anything in this entire world. She adored you. That means you didn't fail. You're a good dad and you gave her everything she could've asked for. She would not want you blaming yourself."
"Gave her everything except a safe and long, happy life." Spencer quietly retorts. "Thanks for lunch." He says, putting some money on the table to pay for his soup. "I gotta go."
- - -
Spencer sits in his apartment on the couch, watching Y/N's favorite Disney movie.
One year.
It's been one year since she died. Since he watched her and held her as she died.
Spencer's interrupted by a knock on the door and it takes him a few moments, but he gets up and answers it, revealing Derek on the other side.
"Hey, kid." Derek greets.
"Hi." Spencer mumbles sadly.
"I know what today is. Thought maybe you'd want some company. Least for a little bit." Derek says.
Spencer seems to consider before nodding. He's been alone a lot this past year and he supposes a little company wouldn't be so bad. And he knows Derek will leave when he asks him to.
Derek walks in, Spencer shutting the door behind him, the two sitting on the couch.
"Beauty and the Beast?" Derek asks.
"Yeah. Uh, it was, uh... it was her favorite." Spencer says. "Said Belle reminds her of me." He says. "Well, reminded." He corrects.
"Book geeks and outcasts, yeah, I can see it. Though I do find Belle prettier than you. Sorry, pretty boy." Derek says, trying to lighten the mood. Spencer lets the smallest of laughs out. The first time in a year.
"Look, I-I know this has been the most unbearable year of your life. No parent should lose their kid. Parent's supposed to die first. And I'm sorry none of us could save her." Derek says.
"You blame yourself?" Spencer asks.
"Of course I do. She was my niece, I love her. We all blame ourselves, Reid. We all love her, we would've done anything for her. But in the end, it's not really any of our faults. It's on the unsubs. Those monsters that took her. Or her crap principal who just let a random person take a five year old out of school despite knowing he wasn't on the approved list. She knew what we all looked like. She knew he wasn't on that list."
"Right." Spencer mumbles.
"Look, I may not get it. But I get it to a certain level." Derek says.
"Yeah, yeah, I know what you mean." Spencer says. "I hope you never do get it on my level."
"And, hey, it won't go away. But eventually, it'll get easier to live with." Derek says.
"I'm not so sure about that." Spencer says.
"It will. It may be years in the future, but someday you'll be able to manage." Derek says.
- - -
15 years.
15 years later and Spencer is able to not break down every day at the thought of Y/N. He went back to work two years after her death, finally passing the psych evaluation and was cleared to go back in the field.
Spencer is on a date with his new girlfriend Max, the two returning to his apartment after dinner, this the first time she's been there.
"Nice place." Max comments.
"Thanks." Spencer smiles.
Max looks around, scanning over the books and decorations. She finds a picture of a little girl on the table behind the couch and picks it up.
"Whose this?" Max asks, holding the frame up for Spencer to see. He turns to her, faltering a little when he sees the picture she's holding.
"Oh, it's uh... it's, um, my daughter. Y/N." Spencer informs.
"You have a daughter?" Max asks.
"Had." Spencer corrects making Max look at him. "Um, she, uh... she died when she was 5."
"Oh. Oh, my God. I am... I am so sorry." Max says, putting the picture down.
"No, no, it's okay. You didn't know. Not exactly something I go around telling people about." Spencer says.
"Do you mind if I asked how she died?" Max asks.
"She, uh... she was stabbed. Fifteen years ago we were, um... we were going after a duo of unsubs who kidnapped children and then dropped their bodies on the side of the road three days later. They picked Y/N up from school since her principal just let her go even though they weren't on the approved list and Y/N didn't recognize them."
"We found them soon enough, but, uh... when we got there they stabbed Y/N. And the paramedics didn't get there soon enough, so she... she died in my arms."
"I am so sorry, Spencer." Max says.
"It's okay. I... I'm better. I mean, I know it's never gonna go away, but... but I'm better." Spencer says.
- - -
Spencer walks to the cemetery, going up to Y/N's grave.
"Hi, baby." Spencer softly greets. He puts the bouquet of flowers in front of the tombstone before sitting down in front of it. "I miss you. Twenty years. It's hard to believe you'd be 25 now."
"Aunt Penelope and Luke are going good. Their relationship is going strong. Same with Aunt Emily and her boyfriend. JJ and the boys and Will are good. Henry's about to graduate college. Michael's getting ready to graduate high school. He got his driver's license a few weeks ago."
"Hank is, uh, he's getting his permit. Morgan and Savannah are doing good. Hotch and Jack are good. Jack is engaged to the girl he started dating in college a few years ago. Um, Amanda. Rossi and his wife are shockingly still married."
Spencer laughs lightly at his own joke.
"Matt and his wife and kids are good. Tara's doing great. As you know Max and the baby are doing good. It's gonna be a boy. You would've had a little brother." Spencer says, his eyes getting teary. "I am gonna tell him absolutely everything about you. He is gonna know just how amazing his big sister was."
"I'm doing okay. You know, same as usual. Teaching is fun and still go on some cases. I miss you, though. I wish you were still here. I love you, baby girl."
Spencer kisses the headstone.
"I'll see you someday."
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boxofbonesfic · 2 years
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Title: mangiare (mangiare) ACT 3 FINALE
Pairing: Werewolf!Steve Kemp x Reader
Summary: Your name is might have been, your name is never-was, your name—forgotten. And as you search for it in your so-called fiancé’s secluded mountain estate, you find something else entirely.
Warnings: Noncon/Dubcon, Amnesia, Involuntary Drugging, Cannibalism, Forced Cannibalism, Monsterfucking (Exophilia), Horror, Semi-graphic descriptions of violence, Manipulation, Gaslighting, Murder
A/N: updated warnings! finally, the thrilling conclusion. or what i hope is thrilling, anyway 😅 i really hope you all enjoy the smut, the horror, and the ending. please let me know what you think! divider by @firefly-graphics! as expressed in the warnings above and below, this is a dark fic with dark concepts and a very dark premise. please be mindful of that when reading!
ACT 1 || ACT 2
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Steve throws you into the bedroom, and you stumble, falling down onto your hands and knees as he kicks the door shut behind you with a deafening bang. 
“You couldn’t just do as you’re told, could you sweetheart?” He snarls, looming over you as you whimper. “All you had to do was take your fucking pills,” you whimper as he drives a fist into the dresser, hard enough to dent the thick wood. “Why do you have to make things so fucking difficult?”
 You scramble away from him on your hands and knees, pressing your back to the nearest wall. He curses, tugging on his hair with a frustrated hand before scrubbing it down his face. You can’t do anything but stare at him in abject terror as he paces back and forth in front of you angrily. 
 “P-please, I—I won’t, I won’t tell anybody—”
 Steve barks out a laugh, cutting you off. “Oh, baby, we’re so far beyond that,” he crouches down in front of you, grabbing your chin. Leaning in close, he stares hard at your eyes, turning your head this way and that as he licks his lips. “Pupils dilated… tell me sweet girl, are you feeling hungry?” His breath is coppery as it wafts across your cheeks, and you hate that it makes your stomach knot as if in answer to his question. 
 “I don’t understand, Steve, please, I—” He squeezes your jaw hard, and you swallow the rest of your plea with a whimper. 
 “I know this is all very confusing for you sweetheart, but you’re being really fucking dramatic.” He swipes a thumb up over the apple of your cheek and through the trail of salty tears before popping it into his mouth with a sigh. “You’re not going anywhere, except back downstairs with me in about—“ he pauses to check the expensive looking watch on his wrist—“four hours.”
 “What happens in four hours?” 
 He grins. “Smart girl. Even with half your head scrambled like eggs, you’re still so clever, aren’t you baby?” He taps the tip of your nose affectionately, and you fight the urge to snap your teeth at him, like an animal. His eyes are almost fever bright with excitement. “Moonrise.” 
 You furrow your brow. “W-what?” You hear Trevor’s terrified voice again in your head, It is him, inside—“What are you?” This time you watch, horrified as the steely blue of his eyes melts into sickly, animal yellow. 
 “No, sweetness. What are we?” Your chest clenches. There is still stark nothingness when you try to draw something, anything from the depths of your memory, a slate you suspect Steve himself wiped clean. “Two months ago, you and Trevor—” he spits your husband’s name like a curse—“were driving very, very late at night.” 
 You flinch as he reaches forward to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear. “I’m normally really good about locking everything up, really I am. But, um. Sometimes, it can’t really be contained, you know?” 
 Your stomach twinges. 
 “There’s usually never anyone up this way, not close enough to be in harms way, not really. But you two… maybe you were lost. Tired. I don’t know, but you smelled…” Steve licks his lips and inhales deeply to illustrate his point. “I couldn’t stay away.” There’s a sharp dragging sound, and when you glance to the left of your head, his hand—
 Doubled in size, almost, and tipped with cruel claws, his fingers dig easily into the hard plaster, gouging pieces of it out as though it were clay. You choke on your own breath as he reaches for your face again, dragging those sharp claws along your skin. 
 “Something in you must have been like something in me.” His gaze drops to your shoulder, to the bite mark you know he left, and you shudder as he grins. “I made sure of it.” 
 “I’m nothing like you.” 
 His smile widens as your stomach twists hungrily again, like he knows. “No?” He cocks his head. “But you enjoyed Trevor so much.” 
 It takes a moment for the realization to penetrate the denial. Bile rises in your throat, and you lean over and heave onto the floor. It doesn’t help, you know it won’t make a difference, but you vomit anyway, retching while Steve sighs. 
 “Drama, drama, drama. You know, I was hoping things would be different after I fucked your head up, but you’re just as stubborn as ever.” He scrubs a frustrated hand down his face before reaching forward to wrap his hand around your wrist. You yelp as he drags you away from the wall, out from the protective shadow of the dresser and tosses you onto the bed. 
 “I’ve been so patient, but maybe,” you try to scramble up the mattress and away from him, but a hot, heavy hand anchors itself around your ankle, dragging you back down the bed as you shout out a hoarse— 
 “Stop!”
 “The best way to break a willful bitch is the oldest way.” You push at his hands, digging your nails into his flesh as you try to pry his fingers from you. It does no good though, he’s determined, and it’s as if the pain you’re causing him is little more than an annoyance rather than a deterrent. Steve’s calm is what terrifies you most of all, the way he simply stares down at you, almost in some strange admiration of your efforts.
 He sighs, pulling at the tie at the top of your dress, loosening it enough for him to tug it down low. Your breasts spill out of it, and Steve licks his lips, his glowing lupine eyes falling to half-mast. Your nipples pebble in the cool air, and Steve wrestles your wrists into one large hand so that he can cup them appreciatively with the other. You whimper as he twists your nipple gently between his fingers. 
 “I know this will take some getting used to, baby, but I’m confident you’ll adjust.” He leans down to nuzzle his nose against your face, and you hate that the taint of blood on him isn’t disgusting but appealing. You don’t know why you want to taste it on your own tongue, feel it flow down your throat hot and thick—
 You hate yourself.
 And what’s more, you hate Steve, for doing it to you—whatever stain he’d passed on to you blooming beneath the surface of your soul like ink on paper. There’s an itch there too, like sand under your clothes only it’s under your skin, like it doesn’t fit quite right. 
 “Already starting, isn’t it?” Steve peels the dress down your body, and when you won’t let go of it, he simply tears the fabric, leaving you with a scrap of cloth barely bigger than your face. “Like you’re not at home in your skin anymore,” he drags a finger down between the valley of your breasts. “Like there’s something else in there with you.” 
 You still don’t want to acknowledge a word he’s saying, to believe any of it, but you can’t deny the strange otherworldly hunger. The dark, slavering thing prowling the edges of your consciousness. You watch him tear at his own shirt, tugging it up over his head to expose the smooth, muscular planes of his chest. 
 Wait.
 There’s a mark on his side, a wound long healed over, though the scarred flesh remains puffy and shiny as a testament to its severity. It’s shockingly familiar to you because you’ve seen it before, though not on him. 
 Steve was bitten just like you were. 
 “I know, sweetness. It feels like shit.” He cups your hips, kneading them with his fingers. “God, you are fucking soft,” Steve mutters, speaking more to himself than to you. “That’s why I’m gonna distract you, okay? Gonna make you feel so good.” He pries your thighs apart, his grip turning bruisingly painful when you refuse to cooperate. “That’s it. Open nice and wide for me…”  
 You wrestle against him in vain as he slots himself between your thighs, panic tunneling your vision as your chest tightens. 
 “N-no, no, get off, I-I-don’t—”
 “Hey, hey, hey, sweetheart, listen, listen—” He cups your face as he speaks over you, his words increasing in volume until you’re forced to be quiet. “This is happening, alright?” He leans down to press his face into the curve of your throat, his mouth working against your skin. You hate the way it distracts you from the growing discomfort prickling along your spine, the low ache coming from deep in your bones. No—it’s easy to focus on the hot press of his lips against your flesh, the scrape of his teeth along your shoulder. 
 “This is what needs to happen,” Steve continues, dragging his mouth lower, past your collarbone, trailing kisses between your heaving breasts. “Change is scary, I know.” You try to buck him off when he reaches your hips, but it’s like pushing against a wall. “But some changes are good. Like the one that’s happening to you, sweetness.” Steve curls his arms around your thighs, wrenching them open with a grunt. Tears gather in your eyes at the feel of cool air on the moist folds of your cunt, and you hate the appreciative noise Steve makes low in his throat at the sight of you. 
 “Please, please Steve, I don’t want to do this. I won’t tell anyone, I’ll be good, I’ll—”
 “I know you will,” he cuts you off with a swipe of his tongue, dipping it between your folds as you squirm and whine loudly. “I know you will.” You writhe helplessly against him as he laps at you through the lacy fabric of your panties. Fire lights under your skin at his touch, and you try to will it away unsuccessfully. Steve won’t let you close your legs, holding you open easily as he avails himself of the most intimate parts of you. 
 You hate the way your cunt pulses and slickens, your belly burning as you try in vain to keep yourself from feeling the first tendrils of pleasure. You chance a look down the line of your own body, and find his eye’s open but lidded. He rewards your curiosity with a leisurely suck on your swelling clit, your entire body twitches and you fall back onto the mattress, gaping up at the ceiling. 
 “God, s’like fucking honey.” His growled words vibrate against your sensitive folds, and you don’t have time to respond before he dives back in. You don’t know why everything feels so intense, why a swipe of his tongue, a press of his fingers should reduce you to a wordless mess, but it does. And what’s worse, is that there’s a part of you that’s enjoying it. The hungry part, the part that wants to rip and tear and—
Steve quickly unwinds his arm from around your thigh, and you can’t contain the pitiful whine that escapes your throat as you feel him circle your entrance with thick, curious fingers. 
 “S-Steve—!” A plea for more, or to stop—you aren’t sure. The noise he makes has you tightening, even as he pushes against the tight ring of your entrance. 
 “Jesus, sweetness, you’re tight,” he groans, before planting a sloppy, appreciative kiss on your clit. “Perfect.” You squirm, fisting your hands in the sheets. You can’t pretend it isn’t happening anymore, not as the waves of pleasure threaten to drag you under into unthinking bliss. You don’t have your memories, but the heady, all encompassing rapture eating at your every conscious thought feels so new, so different, it’s hard to imagine you’d ever been made to feel like that before. 
 You gurgle as he he adds a second finger to the first, scissoring them inside you, stretching you. Steve is practically vibrating, his eyes bright as he revels in the way you moan and writhe. It’s all so intense, it’s like you could claw your way out of your skin—
 Maybe I will.
 Your hips buck of their own accord when Steve curls his fingers against your pubic bone. Air whistles out between your clenched teeth, and you press your head back into the mattress as your back bows. His tongue on your clit, his fingers stretching you—it’s too much. 
 “That’s it, sweetheart. I want you to cum nice’n hard, all over my face.”
 The fact that you don’t want it doesn’t stop your body from catapulting you down into the abyss of pure, warm, bliss. You’re dimly aware of your thighs twitching against Steve’s hold as he continues to suck at your clit, lapping at it with leisurely strokes. 
 “So you can be good for me,” he says lowly, rolling up onto his knees to loom over your prone form. You don’t miss the smug satisfaction in his tone as Steve wipes your juices from his face. “You just need the right motivation.” 
 You’re both in your body and not at the same time, Your head lolling as you try to look up at Steve. It’s not just that you’re having trouble coming back to yourself, but that you don’t really want to—like the dark beast with dripping jaws pacing on the outer edge of your thoughts that is hungry, hungry, hungry—
 “No, no, sweetness. Stay with me,” he snaps his fingers in front of your unfocused eyes. Steve’s voice sounds darker, lower—like an animal growl approximating speech. The sharp, ivory white tip of long, cruel fangs poke out from between his pink lips. His eyes—once blue, now sickly yellow—are hot with interest as he curls a finger beneath the elastic of your panties, splitting it with the sharp edge of his claw. 
 “You have to pay attention,” Steve growls as he slots his hips between your trembling thighs. “This is the best part.” You can’t help but stare as his cock bobs between your thighs, the tip red and angry. 
 Steve presses the thick, leaking head against your cunt, and you shudder, whining. Steve clucks his tongue at you, murmuring something about patience, before he begins to push. His entry punches the air from your lungs, your head falling back onto the mattress as your own breathing roars in your ears. So full, so much, you’re overwhelmed in every way. The stretch as he seats himself fully inside you is practically sinful, setting your eyes rolling and making you sink your teeth into your lower lip to quiet yourself. 
 “No,” Steve snarls. “Let me fucking hear it.” 
 He’s digging you out from the inside, carving a place for himself within you, and you can’t stop the labored cry that falls from your slack jaw because it feels  so good. Your own needy voice bounces off of the walls and back to your ears as Steve groans out his appreciation. 
 “Oh fuck.” His head lolls back, fingers pressing hard into the meat of your hips. “Never had a cunt like yours, sweetness,” he rasps, pulling your hips into his, hard. You sink lower and lower into the heady depths of pleasure, and Steve gleefully drags you down. He lays into you with heavy thrusts, his cock parting you with a wet, rhythmic slick slick slick that echoes in your ears almost as loud as your own panting moans. 
 Something ripples underneath your skin along with the heat singing in your blood. Something that makes your back arch as something so sharp and sweet that it almost borders on pain runs up your spine. It makes you clench down hard around the invading weight of his dick, eliciting another lewdly satisfied growl from deep in Steve’s throat. 
 “God, I see why I had to take off an arm and a fucking leg to get him away from you, sweetness,” Steve’s words make your head spin—or is it his cock?—and he drives into you with abandon. You know you must be going to hell because it feels heavenly. You can feel Steve’s claws digging hard into the softness of your hips, hard enough for you to smell the copper tang of your own blood. 
 Your mouth waters. 
 You’re barely registering the murmured praise falling from his lips as Steve wraps his arms around your torso, pulling you upright. You press your own fingers into his shoulders at the change in position, keening as he fucks up into you. Twitching and gasping, your head lolls forward as your thighs tighten around his waist. You’re no longer being dragged toward the pinnacle, you’re racing toward it yourself, longing to plunge over the edge into sweet oblivion—and greet whatever waits for you there. 
 The pleasure is sharp and poignant, rocketing up your spine as your cunt spasms around him. Without thinking, you press your face into his shoulder, dragging your tongue along it as you savor the salt on his skin. The cord snaps, and you let out a low, broken moan as you sink your teeth into the meat of Steve’s shoulder, coppery blood bursting over your tongue. 
 “Fuck!” He howls, slamming you down onto his cock so hard that your head spins. There is something sweetly sharp, both pain and pleasure singing through your blood that makes you cum again, your pussy milking Steve’s cock even tighter—his teeth in your throat—
 His hips still as scalding warmth beats against your throbbing walls, an inhuman, animal noise escaping his throat. Steve’s head lolls back, and when he lets go of you, you don’t have the strength to hold yourself up. You collapse back onto the mattress, your own blood roaring in your ears as. You feel… disconnected from your body as you lay there, shivering. The ceiling above you fades in and out of your darkening vision as the tremors wrack your weak frame. 
 Something cracks just out of sight, a sickening noise like breaking bone. There’s a damp, animal smell that fills your nostrils, heady and familiar. You’re too weak to turn your head, but something big shifts in the shadows beyond the light shed by the lamp on the bedside table. 
 “S-Steve,” you croak, fighting to lift your head from the mattress and failing. 
 I’m here. You hear his voice but you don’t. It reverberates in your skull darkly, dripping down your consciousness like black honey. 
 “Steve, whas happen’ to me?” You slur the words as the bones shift in your jaw like they’re broken. 
 Just a little change. You’ll be alright, sweetness. Yellow eyes gleam in the darkness, glowing bright like fireflies as sharp, white teeth appear below them. 
 I promise.
 “S-scared,” you manage to grit out through the shifting teeth and bone, your tongue almost too long for human speech now—
 I know baby. It’s always scary the first time, isn’t it? The heavy sound of large footsteps matches the beat of your heart as he approaches the edge of the bed, and finally you see him. 
 You see him.
 Huge and hulking with dark, black fur, his lips on his snout drawn back from his dripping teeth in a triumphant snarl. He reaches for you, his deadly claws stripping away what’s left of your clothing as he frees you from the tangle of the sheets, cradling you against his chest. 
 Are you hungry? You can barely nod, your head rolling on your shoulders as the bones in your neck break and re-form. 
 Good. Let’s go downstairs. His eyes flash as his long tongue darts out to wet his muzzle.
  I have something special. Just for you. 
The end
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the-winter-spider · 2 years
Text
If I Could Fly - Pt 2
Pairings: Bucky x Reader
Warnings: Um idk there fluff and not a lot of angst here lol
Word Count: 2.6k
A/N: Hey y'all Im low-key super meh about this chapter, I didn't want to just jump in and have her and Bucky have there talk, or have Nat there because I wanted to make this into a couple parts, so I just really wanted to have this about what there relationship was like and where it was going before yknow we jump into it all lol, plus I felt like I owed it to y'all to post something since its been 2 weeks lol. Not edited or proof read
PLEASE give me your feedback and any ideas of where you want this to go!!!
Part One
Masterlist
**
“I didn't expect anybody to be up”
Your head spun around, you knew who it was without even needing to look, you could tell his footsteps, his voice from anywhere but mostly because who else would be up at 3am besides Bucky, you were sitting on the bar stool at the kitchen counter, taking a sip of your tea “Couldn’t sleep”
“Insomnia again?” he took a seat beside you
You nodded “You know how it is, least i have some company now”
He gave you a soft smile “It's always us”
You tilted your head “Whaddya mean?”
He cleared his throat “I mean, it's always us” He used his hand to gesture between the both of you “Awake, together at these times. Its nice”
You laughed “I never realized how often that happens”
A comfortable silence fell over you, the only sound was you picking up and putting your tea down. You felt a gaze peering into the right side of your face “Can i help you sargent Barnes?”
A smile placed itself upon his face hearing you use his title “You can, dance with me”
“W-what?” You stammered out nearly choking on your tea
“Dance with me”
“Right now, at 3:30 in the morning”
He stood up off the chair standing beside you, his left arm placed behind is back, his right extended waiting for your hand to be im his “I don't care what time it is”
“Your crazy”
“Crazy about you maybe” He paused “Unless you have other plans doll”
Your mouth slightly parted, your heart thumping hard against your rib cage, you shook your head, letting a smile join the blush on your cheeks “I don't actually” you hopped off the chair before placing your hand in his. He lifted his arm up, spinning you in a circle, a giggling finding its way out of your mouth before he pulled you further into him.
His head was resting in the crook of your neck as you swayed side to side to nothing but the rhythm of your heart beats, his breathing picked up you could hear his mouth part before he pulled you closer than you thought was possible, his lips brushed against your ear sending shivers down your spin “I think you stole my heart y/n”.
“Stop it Sam”
“Stop what?”
“Staring”
“I'm trying to see past all this” he used his hands to gesture to Bucky who was sitting across from Sam at the table, arms crossed, brutting or pouting whatever you want to call it “And see how you really feel, because i sure the hell hope you feel like an asshole”
Bucky grunted “I know Sam”
“Like you were a huge asshole, biggest asshole i've ever seen”
“I got it”
“Why’d you do it?”
“I-'' Bucky paused his eyes following a group of people running “Why are they running?” Bucky pushed and stood up, making his way to the hallway, Sam following close behind. “Steve?”
Steve turned around still running, shouting “It's y/n!”
Bucky felt his heart hit the floor and he looked over at Sam before he started running after Steve.
The mission was mentally exhausting, you were exhausted. Nat and you failed miserably and had to abort so it could later be re-evaluated. You were so done, you wanted to scream, cry and hit something. The emotions you felt were spilling out of you like a glass that was too full but someone kept pouring hot water in it.
The jet ride back was silence, you knew Nat felt the same way as you. The two of you weren't used to failing, especially individually and most importantly as a team. When the hanger door opened she was the first you. You couldn't get yourself to move, your feet were glued to the ground. Your mind racing on each decision, each action you did wrong that led to this outcome.
You finally decided to get up, dragging each leg one step at a time. Keeping your head down you couldn't even see the ground properly as your vision went blurry from the water filling up your eyes.
You stopped when you saw another pair of shoes standing in front of you, you didn’t have to look up to know who it was, you knew his presence was near when your heart felt whole. His arms wrapped around you and you finally let everything you were feeling out.
“Doll it's gonna be okay”
You pushed away slightly, as far as he would let you with his arms still wrapped around you, your puffy red eyes met his blue ones “n-no it's not, we screwed up so b-bad and it's all m-my fault”
“That could have happened to anyone of us” He placed his hands on both sides of your face “Stop blaming yourself”
“I can't help it Buck, I’m a failure”
“You’re anything but a failure y/n”
“Is she gonna be okay?”
“We don't know” Tony paused taking in a deep breath “She lost a lot of blood, her wound was infected and-“
“This is y/n we're talking about, she’ll pull through” Steve tried to reassure everyone.
“I know she’ll pull through, but why would she avoid something like that?” Tony started pacing around the room “How did you guys miss this?”
“It’s no ones fault Tony”
“Oh is that right?” Tony scoffed, he placed himself in front of Steve “Because I saw the footage” turning his head to the side he found the man he was looking for. Bucky felt the gaze on him. He looked up and met Tony’s eyes “Maybe it's because she felt like a burden, does that ring a bell Barnes?”
“Enough Tony”
Tony shoved Steve’s hand away “This is on you Barnes” before leaving the room.
Steve let out a sigh “Buck he didn’t -“
Bucky slammed his vibranium arm on the table “Don’t Steve” He stood up with so much force the chair he was sitting on flew across the room before he stomped out.
“That went well” Sam pushed himself off the wall where he was leaning
“He’s never going to forgive himself Sam”
Shrugging his shoulders “Well Cap, maybe he shouldn't”
Bucky stood outside the room they had you in, a double sided glass wall was all that was separating you from him. He wanted to go in there and hold you, he wanted to tell you how sorry he was, that he didn't mean it, that he was scared because when Natasha’s and your comms went out and the gunshot and your scream echoed through the warehouse he panicked. His heart was beating in his throat, he tasted blood in his mouth, he felt as if the whole world was moving in slow motion, like he was in a dream where he was a child again and couldn't run or scream and he was getting chased by the boogeyman. And when he rounded the corner and saw you standing there holding Natasha while raising your gun to shoot the man in front of you, the bullet landed between his eyes, and you cried in pain as you laid Natasha’s weight on the ground, and you screamed for him. Your voice screamed Bucky’s name, and he felt a feeling he’s never felt before, it was so unknown to him that he replaced it with the emotion he knew best: anger.
As he was yelling at you he felt like his mind was being controlled again, he was trying to stop. When he seen the look on your face he wanted to grab you and pull you into him and never let go, he wanted to kiss your lips again, but instead he was pushing you into the wall, he was telling you he wished it was you when all he wanted to say was he loves you so much, he loves you, Bucky was in love with you. He didn't deserve you before and he certainly didn't deserve you now.
“Are you gonna go in? She’ll be waking up soon”
Bucky turned his head letting out a scoff “Why would i do that?”
Sam let out a low chuckle “Because you love her”
Hanging his head, he was staring at his feet “I fucked up”
“You did, you just need-“
“No Sam, there's no coming back from that” He turned to face him “I put my hands on her Sam, in a way I never should" Bucky starred at his hands he never wished more that they were both just gone "i shoved her into the wall and called her a burden, when, when she was wounded and almost died because of me"
Sam huffed "You need to man up Buck, she's the that was bleeding out not you, she's the one that went through that trauma, not you"
“I like this”
“Like what Buck?”
“Being here with you, I'd give up everything to just to stay like this with you”
He was standing behind you, arms wrapped around your upper torso, your hands holding onto his forearms, his chin resting on top of your head. It was the fourth of July, everyone was on the balcony or on the grass waiting for the fireworks to go off but you knew Bucky didn't like crowds and surely Steve would be okay if you stole his best friend away for a few minutes even though it was his birthday. You were both waiting for the colours explode in the sky
“Wouldn't that be nice” You smiled at the thought, you loved your relationship with Bucky, whatever it was.
“Doll?”
“Mmm?” You spun around to face him, his hands finding their place on either side of your face.
“I hope you know that I mean everything I say, I know that I have a track record of not being the best at expressing myself but” he took a deep breath “I just feel like I'm missing half of me when we're apart. You make me feel like I’m not s-some monster. So, thank you”
“Bucky” You breathed out trying to gather as much oxygen as you could to make a sentence.
He shook his head laughing “Did i just make you, y/n, out of all people speechless?”
You nodded “You did”
“Then I must be doing something right” He whispered, his face moving closer to yours, his right thumb moving up and down on your cheek, his eyes moving down to your lips, your eyes begging him to just do it.
“You are”
“Good”
His lips crashed onto yours, you could hear the fireworks exploding in the sky just above you, perfectly portraying how you felt on the inside, you were exploding internally. It was like a kaleidoscope of colours going off in your head. The kiss was eager, slow and sweet being everything you thought it would be except it didn't feel long enough before Bucky pulled away, his forehead resting on yours.
“Happy fourth of July doll”
Bucky was sitting on the roof in the exact spot you two just shared an intimate moment a week prior, his mind was racing, his hands slightly shaking, he felt like he was hanging on by a thread. He ran his fingers through his hair, he heard the roof door open and shut.
“She’ll be waking up soon” Steve stood beside his best friend, eyes staring at him searching for any clues of how his friend was. Bucky hung his head in response “You owe her an explanation and an apology”
“She was the only thing I felt like I was getting right, Steve, and I went and messed that up.”
“It's not too late, you can fix this”
“I don't know if I can, y-you didn't see the look in her eyes. It was like the ground was being ripped from underneath her. The betrayal Steve, it was all over her face, she was there for me for everything and I couldn't even be there for her.”
Steve sighed “Buck, this life we live is so short, you’re wasting so much time standing here with me when you should be in that room, trying to fix this mess you made.”
“I know”
__
You felt a throbbing pain in your abdomen, you let a groan escape your throat, you had not yet dared to peel your eyes open yet. Your mind is flooded with the last memory you had, the mission, the gun shot, Nata blood flooding your vision, Bucky screaming at you like every moment shared between the two of you meant absolutely nothing to him, and the stab wound. You could hear a steady beeping coming from beside you, which meant someone found you in your room bleeding out, you didn't know if you were thankful for that or not but you did know that the ache in your heart was stinging more than the fresh wound on your stomach.
You let out a sigh knowing you were about to take in the scolding that Steve would give you for not alerting them of your injury, that disappointment that would come from Tony for not handing your report in on time and the heartbreak that would follow with the silence from Bucky and oh god Natasha you had to know if she was alive.
You opened your eyes, the fluorescent lights over taking your vision, as you used your hand to block them the best you could. Scanning the room you could tell you were obvious in the med bay in the compound, you grabbed the water beside you taking a sip before you dared to speak. Adjusting the bed so you were propped up.
“Friday”
“Yes Miss Y/L/N”
“Can you tell someone i'm awake please”
“Of course”
You patiently waited for someone to come through the door, there was no doubt in your mind it would be Tony and Steve, but deep down after everything you were hoping it would be Bucky, your Bucky. Not too long after the door ripped open and frantic eyes came in.
“You scared us for a second there y/n”
“W-what happened?” You stammered, you of course had an idea of what happened but just needed confirmation.
Steve sighed sitting on the edge of the bed, he gave you a sympathetic look, he ignored your question asking his own instead “Why didn't you say anything?”
Your eyes left his and darted down to your fidgeting hands “I didn't know till we were almost back and I already caused so much trouble already, i just didnt wanna be a burden. I didn't think it was that bad Steve”
He took your hand in his, catching your eyes in the process “Y/n, you’ll never be a burden and none of that was just your fault, we're a team. It's on all of us okay?” You gave him a nod before he continued “We almost lost you, promise you won't do that again, you mean too much to us”
You sighed, giving his hand a squeeze. You wanted to be done talking about it “Hows Nat?”
“She’s better already on a intel mission with Clint”
You laughed “Of course she is”
“She’s gonna be pissed she wasn't here when you woke up, she spent almost everyday here since she found out”
You wanted to ask the burning question and he knew you did, you couldn't find the words to gather to ask so instead you stumbled on your words, your voice faltering “What about Bucky?”
“He didn't mean it yknow?”
“But he still said it Steve, i don’t know if i can forgive him” A tear found its way rolling down your cheek “Is it bad that I wish he was here right now?”
Steve opened his mouth words about to come out but he sucked them back in when there was a quiet knock at the door almost on cue.
“Bucky”
__
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