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spdrvyn · 11 months

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i'll be lonely with you — MIGUEL O'HARA

SUMMARY: with the passage of time and whispers from your acquaintances at the spider society HQ, you've found out that your boss has a habit of sneaking out of his office during the dead hours of night to eat dinner. completely alone.

NOTES: new formatting for fics !!! do you guys like it? :3 i decided to include summaries that way it would be easier for people to understand the general jist of the plot without me spewing nonsense in the notes. anyways enjoy !!!!! thanks for the support on my recent works as well ^_^

You didn't consider yourself the most introverted person.

Even when it came to hundreds of Spider-people, you tried to get to know who you could and become acquainted with as many of them as possible. How could you not?

However, there were few that you knew on a more personal level. People that you'd keep close to your side whenever you visited headquarters. People that you'd enjoy having an exchange of gossip with during lunch in the bustling cafeteria.

Miguel O'Hara wasn't exactly one of those people.

It's not like you didn't want to develop something more than a boss-coworker relationship. Though, conversations with him were always difficult, to the say the least. Most of the time, he's talking about work and anything that goes past that boundary goes unspoken.

Quite literally. You've forgotten the amount of times that you've built up the courage to mention anything about your other (not deceased) relatives or your friends and the amount of times that the room was filled with a silence so awkward that crickets are on the same volume as missile launchers.

Though, you didn't want to lose hope. You sort of understood where he was coming from. People go through grief and mourning in different ways, Miguel's was probably just isolation and a complete avoidance of discussions of personal life.

He was a leader. A good one. A trait of a good leader is to connect with their subordinates, establish relationships. So it really made you think.

How messed up was he that he missed that one quality?

"Hey. Your food's getting cold." There it goes, the sound of your train of thought leaving the station. Sometimes, you were grateful for Jess being there for you. She could snap you back to reality you like nobody else could.

You mutter an apology before stabbing your salad with your fork and taking a bite, Jess rests her head on her palm. Raising a brow at you, "So, did you want to eat lunch with me for fun or are you just using me to get info about Miguel? Again?"

Nervously, you shake your head. "It's nothing like that!" She leans in a little more, waving her other free hand in the air in a circular motion.

"...But if you have anything that you'd like to share then I'm not going to refuse entirely—"

"Oh my god. Fine, fine. What do you want to know?"

With that question, it felt like your mind blanked. You fidgeted with your fork, twirling a leaf of your salad against the plate as you pondered on what question to ask.

Jess responds with a deep sigh, "If you're trying to find a way to talk to him more, he doesn't leave that office of his much unless it's for work. He's in there most of time. Although..."

"Although?"

"Although, I've seen him come here normally somewhere around midnight to get a very late dinner alone. The place is less crowded, most are just in their own universe or sleeping or working."

Your face falls a little upon hearing that. "So I can only catch a non-serious conversation with him... in the middle of the night?"

"Exactly. Besides, there's a good chance he's going to just— continue talking about work with you whether he's in his office or not. You know that, right?"

You drop your utensil in defeat, burying your face shamefully in your hands. "I know..."

You quickly wrap up your lunch with Jess, as she shares bits and pieces about him. You had really wondered how she was able to learn all of these things about him anyway but before you had the opportunity to ask her, she told you to not.

Respecting her wishes, you keep your mouth shut. Respecting her even further, you decide to pack up both of your plates and wave her a goodbye before picking up those thoughts that you were left a while ago.

Admittedly, you didn't know why you were so persistent for something like this, for someone like him.

Determination was a strength of yours but that didn't mean that you didn't know where your limits rested and you would back off when you needed to.

There was just something. A swirling feeling in your gut that was telling you to keep going.

That it would be worth it.

So, you follow everything that Jess told you. Around midnight, he'd be alone, in the cafeteria, and looking for an empanada to snack on before heading back into his office. A very small fraction of his time left for personal conversation if you tried hard enough!

This most likely wasn't a good idea. You didn't sleep at all through the day but the thrill kept you alive and thriving. You confidently stride up to the counters of the cafeteria, picking out a small bag of chips for yourself and the last empanada for your soon-to-be snack companion.

Now, you wait.

You surveyed your surroundings and as you were doing that, you realize why he particularly emerges during these kinds of hours to eat. There was a significantly less amount of people.

Whenever you came here during the day, it was a miracle to be able to find completely empty seats. At times, you were forced to sit with a group of people.

You weren't entirely ungrateful for that though, you've made a lot of friends that way. Sure, it was awkward at first but the more you were forced to interact with people that way, the more you adapted to making small talk.

Even then, there were a lot of tables that were taken here save for one completely empty one at the far end.

Then, you finally see that navy and red suit.

Deciding to observe him just a little bit more, you watch him curse under his breath seeing the display case for the empanadas empty. Before he walks away any further, you tap him on the shoulder.

His mask was on, his eyes widen a little bit before you hand him the small box. "I saved the last one for you."

With a soft huff, you see the muscles in his shoulders and back grow loose once more, he hestitantly takes the container from your hands. Looking at it then looking back at you, "Thanks."

You two share a few seconds of awkward silence, you felt a little exposed. You decided to unmask for this because you wanted him to feel more comfortable talking to you rather than who you were as a Spider-person yet there's still that same awkwardness in the air.

Clearly without nothing to do and no idea on how to makem something better out of this, Miguel's about to walk off before you stop him once more.

"W— wait," A little piece of yourself dies inside as you hear yourself stutter but nevertheless, you keep going. "Uh, there aren't any other spots so is it alright if I sit you? I don't know any of the people here."

The way that you see the eyes through his masks narrow ever so slightly once the question escapes your throat makes your heart quiver like crazy.

You wanted to get to know him but damn, if you said that he didn't scare you sometimes then you would be lying.

You cry on the inside with sweet victory as he says...

"Fine."

That was it. That was all you got but you gladly take it! You have to catch up to him though because once you're done mentally celebrating, he's already a little bit far from you.

You try your hardest to keep your head straight but you can't help but look up and spare him one glance, the fact that you even had to look up at him really only emphasized your height difference with him.

Another factor that made you just a little bit more intimidated by him, his physique. You considered yourself to be of average height, you weren't the tallest person in the room but you were never the shortest as well. Just average.

The way he practically towered over you, his hand nearly being the size of your head. It made you feel something.

The moment that both of you have a seat, you take your opportunity.

"So, is there anything that you plan on doing after this?"

You get a little distracted once his mask comes off, he raises an eyebrow at you, crimson eyes that feel like they're looking straight into your soul. Though, side-tracked as he bites into the dough and meaty goodness of his empanada, with a shrug— he replies,

"Not really. Unless there's an anomaly I haven't heard of yet then I have no plans. Why do you ask?"

"Oh, nothing. Was just curious is all." Why was this so hard?!

The conversation goes as what you expected. You'd ask a question every moment or so and he'd give you a short response before going back to his food. He wouldn't ask you anything back, wouldn't add any 'unnecessary' comments. Just bask in the silence.

You simply couldn't take it anymore, you didn't know how to express your interest in him without asking him more questions about himself which he seems to avoid trying to answer.

You couldn't ask him about his hobbies because he'll most likely say that he's too busy working to actually spend time gaining and branching out to different interests.

Dejectedly, you sigh. "I'm sorry for imposing— on your alone time, I mean." It was like everything that you wanted to say just kept spilling out of your mouth.

"I didn't want to eat with you at this hour because I pity you or— or I found you lonely or whatever. I just thought that whenever you weren't talking about work, we'd be able to get along."

You stand up from your seat, eyes mindlessly darting arounf the labels of the bag of 'Spider-O's' in your clutches.

"I'll, uhm, let you eat in peace now. Once again, I'm—"

"Wait."

Which ever brain cells died from that interaction certainly reignited now. "Sit back down," It comes off an order. An order you certainly obey.

"I wouldn't have actually said yes to you if I didn't want to talk." He starts. "I know a lot of people but it's not in the same way that you do. I know their names, their faces, their canon events. You know their feelings, their mindscapes, and their troubles—"

"—And those are the exact kinds of things that I can't comprehend most of the time. We understand people differently, is what I'm saying. I still have no idea why exactly you sought out me of all people but I will... try to gain this new perspective of things."

You want to tamp down the smile that creeps up on your lips as you hear those words but you can't. What he said, it all made sense now. You couldn't see the full picture still, but you were willing to find it—

"I understand. It's fine."

"So? Do you have plans after this?"

Together.

#miguel o'hara #spiderman 2099 #miguel o'hara x reader #miguel o'hara x you #miguel o'hara fluff #fluff #romance #kind of #across the spiderverse #spiderverse #atsv #jessica drew #jess drew #spiderwoman #made this one extra sappy for u guys #miguel can be #so hard to write sometimes #hope i did him justice here

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yanderes-galore · 4 months

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I hope you are having a good day. Could you write a platonic concept for Glamrock Freddy sharing reader with Glamrock Bonnie? I replayed Ruin and seeing Freddy's poster again made me think that those two friends (or more, if you want to see them that way) would be a great team and work together to keep the reader to themselves.

Yeah I can do that, was not entirely sure how to write Bonnie so I winged it.

Yandere! Platonic Glamrock Freddy + Bonnie Sharing a Darling

Pairing: Platonic - Sharing

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Stalking, Overprotective behavior, Kidnapping, Manipulation, Clingy behavior, Isolation, Forced companionship.

There's no canon Glamrock Bonnie personality but I'm going to make a new version compared to my other one.

We can assume Bonnie is very caring as Eclipse's line was meant to be for him if I remember correctly.

As a result, both bots are very caring to guests and STAFF.

We can assume this whole concept took place before Monty breaking Bonnie and the missing kids.

Bonnie is probably a little arrogant but not as much as his other counterparts.

For the most part he'd probably be similar to Freddy.

Although I also imagine him as carefree and fun loving.

You are most likely close to the two as their mechanic like I do in most fics, or at the very least you work at the Pizzaplex somehow.

I think you're right to assume the two would share a darling.

They're best friends and nearly inseparable.

I can't imagine the two fighting so they'll have no big problems sharing.

You often visit Bonnie Bowl and the Main Stage to see the two.

Unbeknownst to you, you're their favorite.

The blue bunny and orange bear often meet up to speak about their best friend.

They see you as part of their duo now trio.

They only bond even more when they realize they have a shared connection with you.

I imagine they'd gush about you to each other and are very excited when you stop by.

The two are no doubt your biggest fans and hope you care for them too.

Of course these two are going to be a great team.

They both keep track of you and share information about you with each other.

You always have a pair of eyes on you as you work.

At this point they know what you bring to lunch, where you frequent, what you like… they have a lot more information than they should.

As your friends… they have to learn everything, right?

That's what they tell each other as they pry into your personal life.

Obviously you'll notice you see the two everywhere.

They are the bots you see most often.

I imagine they'd both act as parental friends or dads at times with you.

They have to watch you for overworking, right?

Oh! Can't have you getting hurt, either.

Care for an ice cream? You can hang out with them at Bonnie Bowl!

You try not to feed into their behavior as you don't want to be fired for slacking off.

Such information makes the two upset.

Their friend can be taken away from them that easily?

Hm… that won't do.

They definitely act like robot caretakers at times.

If you express any emotions that aren't normal or have any injury, one of them is checking in.

Bonnie will have you follow him to Bonnie Bowl for a couple of games.

Freddy's checking you over and even passing you a plush toy.

It's nice they care but they make it difficult to get them to do their job.

The STAFF members keep giving weird looks.

Honestly, if you ever felt like quitting or were told you were being fired, you'd end up disappearing.

Why? Well, your two “friends” ended up taking you away.

Oh, they never liked the other STAFF around you anyways.

They also didn't appreciate you ignoring them.

There's no need to worry! They'd never hurt you.

So there's no need to look so scared as they stare down at you from the darkness.

They made a little room for you in the maintenance tunnels.

They'll feed you, care for you, and be your best friends!

Don't leave your little room… they made it just for you!

They filled it with merch of themselves, there's an old arcade machine, a collection of blankets and pillows to be your bed….

They couldn't just let you leave!

Now you won't have to…

With them… you'll have endless fun!

So please… stop crying… give them a smile!

#yandere five nights at freddy's #yandere fnaf #yandere fnaf security breach #yandere fnaf ruin #yandere glamrock freddy #yandere glamrock bonnie #platonic yandere

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 5 months

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am i the asshole for leading a guy on an low-key manipulating his feelings? (🐺 so i can find it later)

trigger warnings for mental health issues, family death, and suicide mentions.

title is kiiinda dramatic, i know. and i should be clear that i know that what i did was definitely wrong to a degree, but idk how messed up it was.

for context: i (19 f) was freshly seventeen and had just returned to in person school for my senior year after doing my junior year online at home. the majority of my best and only friend had forgotten me almost entirely and abandoned me despite our texting throughout my online year. new social circles had formed in my absence and i had a very difficult time readjusting, especially because i had come out of isolation with worsened anxiety, depression, and lowkey suicidal idealization. to top it all off, my grandfather who i adored had just died. i was desperately lonely and at the lowest i had ever been mentally in my entire life. i say this all not to excuse my actions but to provide some context as to why i acted the way i did.

so i meet this guy (i think like 15-16?) who we'll call finn. finn is a year below me but we share an elective class. we were initially drawn to each other bc we were both the only alt/geeky kids in the room and hit it off really well. and at first things are going pretty good; we eat lunch together every day, share music, talk about our interests etc. normal friend stuff.

but here's the part where i'm probably ta: finn had told me earlier on that he's the type to catch feelings super easy, so i guess i should've expected it, but he tells me that he has a crush on me. not directly though--he starts talking about this girl that he has feelings for but doesn't have the courage to confess to. and the first time he brought it up i didn't realize it was me and ofc tried to hype him up so he could confess and all that. but by the second conversation we have about it, it dawns on me that he's definitely talking about me. and i'm like "ah fuck," because the last person i wanted it to be was me--i'm mostly into girls, and also saw finn as a little brother more than anything else. but i keep hyping him up anyways saying stuff like "oh c'mon the worst she can do is say no! and even then you can at least move on with closure!"

so he takes my advice and confesses to me over text. i turn him down as politely as i can. which is where this whole thing should've ended tbh. but it didn't. his confession (even though it was over text) really endeared me and made me feel appreciated and beautiful in a way i never had been before. i'm not conventionally attractive + a plus size girl, and had never had anyone confess to me before, let alone say something as sincere and sweet as finn did to me. i was always the girl guys dared each other to ask out as a joke, yknow? it felt nice to know that someone saw me as desirable. again, this doesn't excuse my actions or justify them. just context.

so i decide that even though i know i'm not going to pursue anything with finn, i don't want him to lose interest in me either. so i start acting like i might be into him. tell him certain outfits make him look cute, go on and on about how much i love his hair (he really did have nice hair tbh), lean in a little closer when we talked, and constantly reassure him that he'd get a gf soon because good-looking, sweet and funny guys like him don't stay single for long.

he definitely notices bc he (again over text) asks if it's ok to be more physical when we interact. like can he hold my hand if we walk down the hall or whatever. this is definitely where i should've stopped, but i didn't. i kept up the pseudo-flirting bullshit.

and then he confesses (you guessed it! over text) for a second time, insisting that he really thinks that i like him back now. i tell him i don't know what he's talking about but that i'm happy to keep being friends with him. again, i don't stop the flirting-that's-not-quite-flirting.

this continues all the way until the end of the year. he tells me before i graduate that he really cares for me and doesn't want to lose touch after i leave. i promise him we won't. at this point i'd realized the gravity of my actions and had come to regret the way i treated finn, and decided the best course of action was to let our friendship fizzle out after i graduate. so i stop responding as frequently to him, he eventually stops reaching out until finally we lost contact and i delete his number.

i know that what happened was kinda fucked up, but how bad of a fuck up was this tumblr?

(secondary question: is this something that would've had a lasting impact on him and his view of relationships? i hope it isn't. i hope he forgot about me quickly. i hope he's doing better and has found someone who actually likes him.)

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole #suicide cw

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byunpum · 1 year

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Byunpum, you’re literally in the top tier of my favorite writers on Tumblr! ☺️💓 So I have an idea, Z-Dog goes into heat for the first time while eating lunch with fem,human! Reader, and storms away to isolate in her room. Reader is baffled and hurt, so when she goes to Z’s room to confront her, Z starts hissing and screaming at her to get out. Reader won’t leave, insisting on getting an answer about what happened 🙈😇❤️‍🔥

Pair: Z-dog x Fem reader ( human reader!!!<3)

Warning: none. Teasing, Heat, misunderstanding

Note: This is my first request from zdog and I'm nervous (^3^)// She sooo aHhHhAHAHAHAASDFGHJK and @blueberryera omg thanks, your sooo sweet, I send you virtual hugs and kisses.

Something was happening to her and she knew it. Ever since she woke up that morning, just getting up was making her grumpy. And it was a strange kind of grumpiness, nothing had happened to cause her to have a bad time. If not, it was a moodiness caused by the feeling of neediness… needing… lack of attention. She decided not to give it any importance, maybe it was a side effect of this new avatar body. So she decided to go about her day as normal, doing her chores. Filling his routine rounds with lopez, and going to the gym to clear his mind. Everything seemed under control until lunchtime came.

Z was quite happy, she was going to get to see you. Usually during the week you didn't have time to spend time together, and lunch was the perfect time. She had the afternoon off and you had 3 hours off. You two had met the same day she woke up in this avatar body. You were one of the doctors in charge of the avatars. You quickly paired up, it was something you couldn't control…it just happened. Z walks into the dining room, and all the grumpiness she's been trying to control all day comes rushing back like a big wave. When she sees how Lyle is sitting next to you, with one hand on your shoulder. Pulling your whole body into him, she swears she could see the thumb of his hand make circles on the bare skin of your arm.

She walks quickly to the direction you were facing, sitting down abruptly next to you. The thump on the seat was loud and startled both you and Lyle. Both of the two had not realized that Z was approaching. "Love…how are you?" you speak, pulling away from lyle closer to her body. Resting your head on her arm. As soon as Z was in your sight, all your attention went to her, and that was something she loved about you. You can feel how tense Z-dog is, and it surprises you. She is usually relaxed and very affectionate with you. You miss her not hugging you and giving you kisses on the top of your head. "I'm fine" speaks Z, her tone was dry. As she began to touch her food, everyone at the table gave her a few glances. You settle closer to her side, crossing your hand on her arm. Seeking more of her warmth, but you feel Z pull away and move her arm for you to let go. "Y/N…baby let me breathe" Zdog says, still with a cold, dry tone. You feel a pain in your chest, she was never treating you like this. Lyle turns to take a good look at her friend, she had actually told you that.

"Zdog…are you okay? Why are you acting like that?" asks Lyle, The woman laughs out loud…it's a ironic smile. You knew that smile. "I said I was fine!!! right…" the woman speaks, as she continues to eat. Everyone lets the event pass, but you are still a bit disconcerted. You move away from her a bit, focusing now on trying to regain your appetite. Time passes quickly, and at no time does Z turn to look at you. You can see how she is talking to Lopez, and to Miles. He even speaks to lyle again. But to you…it seemed like you were a ghost to her. When there was a moment of silence and everyone in the group was busy. You take the opportunity to move closer to her, placing your hand in the palm of her hand to squeeze it. Trying to get her attention. Z tensed as she felt your touch.

"I have the afternoon free…what do you want me to" you start to speak almost in a whisper, but Z interrupts you. Getting up from her seat, causing her to push you away. You watch as she leaves the room, you swear you've heard her hissing. This was bothering you, she wasn't like that with you. You had done something wrong…it couldn't be because you were talking to lyle, you always talked to lyle. Why was she despising you so much. Everyone at the table goes silent, as they begin to look at you. You decide to get up and go see what was going on with her. It had to be something serious, maybe she was sick and felt a little unwell. Or she just wanted to be alone. Still you go to the rooms to see if she was there, and to your good fortune there she was. The door was slightly open, and you poke your head through the doorway.

You can see how Zdog is lying face down on the bed, with her hands spread out. She looked like a starfish…as she whimpered and whined. "Love?" you speak as you watch as zdog's tail lifts up and does a quick wag. "Leave me alone…pleaseeee" it's almost a cry of pain and frustration. You got a little chuckle out of it, because it sounded like a little girl fighting. "Z you have to explain to me what is wrong with you…are you? Did I do something wrong?" you ask watching as the woman turns sideways, making a sort of ball with her body. Looking up, her pupils were dilated and her ears were moving back.

"You…you haven't done anything love…I just want to be alone" she speaks, hugging her body tighter. You move to the edge of the bed, sitting up to stroke her hair. "I'm not going anywhere…and you know it" you speak, as you watch Z look up. And giggles a little, she has to give up she doesn't need to argue with you anymore, she knows you won't leave her side. And she liked that about you, you never leave her. "Now…may I know what's wrong with you? After all I am your doctor" you speak tenderly, you don't want to upset her, you know she is frustrated about something. The behavior is very noticeable, and the avatars can be unpredictable, as they don't know how to control this new body.

"I feel…bad, It's not health…it's mmm" she tries to explain how she feels, but at the same time she feels ashamed to tell you how she is feeling. You guys have never gone this far before, just heated kissing sessions. Just that…but now she needed a little more. "Are you in pain? Or is it discomfort?" you speak, Z takes a deep breath. She hated it when you spoke like a doctor, you sounded too professional for her. "No…it's a need" she looks at you with wide eyes, intently waiting for you to understand. It takes you a moment to understand, but you take the hint quickly. Blushing and pulling your hand away from her hair, which you had been caressing for some time.

"Really? But it's kind of painful" you wait for her to answer, because you were getting nervous. Z gets up and sits on the bed. Crossing her legs. "I…this need started this morning, I thought it was normal. I always feel this way…but this time it's different. It bothers me" Z says, waiting for you to say something that might help her. As if what's happening to her is some kind of disease. You swallow hard, and settle closer to her. You can see her get excited, and make room for you to be more comfortable. Apparently the attitude she had moments ago in the dining room was due to the presence of male figures, she became defensive.

"You're in heat Z" you drop the bombshell without warning, taking the girl by surprise. "In heat? How's that?" this was really getting on her nerves. "Yes, in heat…like some animals do. Navi females also go into heat, it almost always lasts 1-2 weeks. Then it goes away. You are in mating season" you speak, seeing how Z is looking at you surprised and confused. She starts stroking the back of her neck, and takes a deep breath. You try to comfort her, taking your hands to caress her fingers. "And is there anything you can do to take it away? A pill, treatment?" she asks. "mmm no, it's a natural thing. Like a monthly period…it just has to pass. Or you have to mate with someone." You speak, catching the woman's attention with your last words. "Mate with a male" you speak, you watch as Z settles in and you feel her tail flick at you. That displeased her a bit…why did she have to be with someone other than you. You watch as his demeanor changes, so you decide to explain. "The female navi body has to fulfill that need, it's kind of annoying. If she doesn't have a partner…she has to relieve herself alone" you speak.

"And… couldn't I be with you? Couldn't you help me?" her voice sounded a little sassy, and you were getting nervous. "ahh I, I, I guess…I don't know" you speak, trying to pull away from her, but you feel the grip on your hands grow stronger. Moving her hand to your forearm, making a quick movement so you could move. Causing you to now be positioned in her lap. "I'd like it to be you…to help me feel good. Would you like that?" says Z, placing her hands on either side of your hips, squeezing your soft skin. You could barely speak, biting your lower lip trying to stifle a moan that was threatening to come out of your mouth, when you feel the tight squeeze Z had given your ass. "Answer me baby…you want to help me?" she speaks, sniffing a little at your neck leaving several wet kisses. You swallow hard, moving your hands over her chest. "Yes…yes I would" listening as Z let out a little smile, shit…she had planned this whole thing.

P.S: I love it when I get requests for recoms, there's not a lot of work on them.

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catwrites9 · 10 months

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can you write a happy tara and reader fic where you show them getting together with a little angst and it’s hard because of what tara’s gone through and reader also has something they’re hiding for whatever (good reason) and then we see them get together and be happy in the end 🫶

The Lie I Never Told

Warnings it’s scream so blood and killing, gut like a fish, cussing, use of y/n and she/her pronouns, and I think that’s it.

W/N I know you said a good reason but I put a little twist on that, and I know you said happy for the end but if you want to skip the last few paragraphs, I kinda got a little carried away. Possible part 2?

Masterlist

—————————————————————————

You and Tara fell in love from the first sight across the campus, later finding out that you both had the same scendue. After one month you guys started dating, keeping it a secret from everyone even though you were in the same friend group you still decided it was the best. That was until ghostface came back, you got attacked by ghostface and while getting attacked that ghostface told Sam about you two.

“Hello Sam,” Ghostface said.

“What the hell do you want”

“You really should be nicer to me considering the fact I have someone you care about in front of me”

Same looks around to everyone in the living room” Clearly your lying because everyone’s with me”

“Oh I’m sorry Sam, I forgot that Tara kept her a secret” Everyone’s heads turned to Sam while Sam’s turned to Tara. Ghostface continued talking” Honestly if I was you I would listen to me or you’ll lose Tara considering the fact that I have her girlfriend in front of my begging for her life as she bleeds out from multiple stab wound, Gutted like a fish”

Those words rerunning through Tara’s head. “Would you like to hear Y/N cry for her life” Ghostface said, not waiting for a anser as they turn off voice isolation from the phone call mic. Hearing you as you choke on the blood feeling like it was filling your lungs.

“Where the hell are you-you mother fucker” Tara yelled while geting up.

“Her apartment, it’s quite funny how much she cares about you and how I’ll gut you like a fish just like her”

“Shut the fuck up” Tara yells while going twards the front door caring a pocket knife.

“Tara, what are you doing?” Sam asked while going in front of her.

“Yeah Tara, are you trying to be gut just like her,” Ghostface joined in.

Your able to get three words out, those words staying in her head forever “please help Tara”

“I’m going to save my girlfriend, move Sam.”

“How do you know this is not just a way to get you over there”

“Because I just know Sam”

“If you're going I’m going” Chad spoke up, he was who introduced you to Tara but never knew you were dating, even though his sister was skeptical from when she first saw you.

They all get up and follow Tara. By this time Sam hung up and lectured Tara about getting a girlfriend as they ran to your apartment.

Once they got to your apartment they heard banging happening, Tara tried opening the door with your spare key but remembered that your deadbolt doesn't work with that key.

Over the course of 8 ish minutes they stayed there as the heard banging and rusling insinuating a fight was happening. After it stopped they heard the door open but what they didn’t expect was you falling as you had multiple stab wounds and blood all over your body, you fell into Tara and Chads arms as Chad picked you up running to the closest hospital.

That attack happened a year ago, the date being the exact day you almost died just because you were dating Tara. Those moments she thought about it as they were the moments she blamed herself for getting the woman she loved hurt.

You didn’t remember the day you got attacked well you remember the attack but not the exact date like Tara did. You noticed Tara not being her normal happy self when she was on campus so you decided to check on her after class but you couldn’t find her even after joining the group for lunch. So you waited till after school and after Sam went to therapy to go to her apartment. You knocked and you waited for her to answer which didn’t happen. So you did it again, and again, and, and again till she answered the door. Tara’s eyes were puffy showing she was just crying.

“Tara” was all you were able to get out as you put your hand on her cheek, following her into the house as she closed the door. “What’s wrong? '' She didn’t answer you and just hugged you as she pushed you back to the couch so that she could sit next to you.

As she sat beside you she had her head down” I was just- I’m sorry for being the reason you got hurt”

“Oh Tara it wasn’t your fault that I got hurt it was Ethan’s and Quinn’s, and Bailey’s I forgot about him”

“No Y/n it’s my fault you got hurt if I wasn’t you girlfriend you wouldn’t have got you hurt”

“But you're my girlfriend and you can’t just take it back because I love you and I would have confessed anyways because of Chad presuring me.”

“Sometimes I wished I never made eye contact that day” Tara mumbled but loud enough for you to hear.

“Wha-“ You tried holding back your tears. “You don’t mean that Tara”

“I do because if it wasn’t for me you wouldn’t have almost died oh wait you did die for 5 minutes”

You let your tears fall but you knew you had to tell her.

“Tara, your not the reason I almost died it’s me”

“How”

“The Secret I Never Told, the one Ethan kept talking about during the whole killers reveal”

“What is it?” she questioned while now looking at you.

“I don’t want you to think of me differently but I’ve seen how you and Sam are and I fear that you’ll stop loving me”

“Just tell me Y/n, I won’t stop loving you”

“You know I’m the same age as you right”

“Yeah”

“My father was Stu Macher”

She stayed there shocked, you feared that she was gonna be mad at you for waiting so long to tell her.

“How is that possible”

“My father basicly stored his semen at a place that then later on was used for when my mom was ready to have kids after his death.

She thought for a moment,”You thought I wouldn’t love you just because of your dad”

“Yeah I mean I’ve seen you’re relationship with Sam and I heard about the moment at the hospital you both had”

She smiled as she grabbed your shoulders pulling you into a hug. “I’ll never stop loving you just because you father is Stu Macher”

“Her fathers who now” The worst moment to walk in on Sam's part.

“Sam,” Tara said.

“How is that possible, isn’t she as old as you?” Sam asked while leaning on the wall..

“Yes he just stored his semen so that later on my no could have kids with him”

That moment felt like an hour of her just going from staring at you to staring at Tara.

You broke the silence with “Which is why I told you me and you were similar Sam”

“Honestly you guys do whatever you want I'm too tired for this, but if you hurt her I’ll make you die a painful death” She said and then walked away to her room.

“Damn she really is tired if she only threatened me with dying a painful death.” You joked while putting your arm around her.

You both laughed and then you then watched a movie while waiting for pizza to get delivered and in the middle all of the movie having Chad, Mindy, and Anika come over. They all invited some new people you all met, Mattew, Anthony, Johnathan, and Liam. You were just happy she loved you for who you were. You walked to the bathroom looking into the mirror seeing him behind you.

“If you tell me to kill someone then I reserect you just to kill you again”

“You did good kiddo, I know I haven’t been the best dad but i want to be you dad, even if I’m a hallucination I won’t tell you to kill people….. as often, but you did good”

“Thank you it means a lot” you walked out sitting back down with Tara watching the random movie Mindy put on while she takes about every detail about the movie. You loved moments like this wishing you could live forever like this.

Tara’s phone starts ringing showing up with no caller id. Of course moments like this could never last forever.

You pick it up showing her, the room being quite, scarily quiet. But that still made you not hear Sam come up behind you as she sees what happened. Sam picked it up and answered it.

“Hello Sam,” Ghostface said.

She didn’t answer.

“Please pass the phone to y/n”

You grabbed it put it to your ear

“Hello y/n you didn’t tell her about your mom did you, the fact she was also ghostface, sad really but the even funnier thing is that I just recreated what the last ones did to you but this time with your adopted mom, Sidney Prescott, and now I’m about to go gut your brother so have Fun” Ghostface then hung up.

You immediately called your mom.

She answered “Hey Y/n what wrong”

“Mom where are you ghostface just called me saying they killed you”

“I’m in nyc I was going to surprise you but ghostface is back”

“Yes and they said there gonna get D”

“Fuck, I’m coming right now”

“No don’t it’s better if your somewhere safe, because if they are telling the truth then they’re is multiple and they’re gonna go after you and him”

“Or they were lying thinking that you would chose me over him and are going after him.”

“Or I lied about both and I’m going to kill you” you heard from the corridor of Sam and Tara’s rooms. Ghostface was there ready to strike at the slightest movement.

“Run” Mindy yells as ghostface started running at everyone.

#tara carpenter x reader #tara carpenter #tara carpenter x you #tara carpenter x y/n #fluff #marry me please Tara

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alotsgonnachange · 1 year

Text

Thumbs

[Danielle is acting strange and is isolating herself, Isabella decides to investigate

warnings: Description of abuse, implied violence, deadly herbs, implied murder]

Lyrics from Thumbs by Lucy Dacus

____________

I would kill him

If you let me

I would kill him

Quick and easy

Your nails are digging

Into my knee

I don't know

How you keep smiling

——-

Danielle had been acting strange lately.

Though, anyone who knew her well would say it’s hard to tell what’s normal with Danielle DuPont. She wasn’t exactly an average or nondescript individual. Her lack of inside voice, her shamelessness, and her propensity for the unconventional simply created myriad eccentricities that Isabella could hardly keep track of. Not that it bothered her. But on this particular day, she was finally conclusively able to say that she was, in fact, acting strange.

The first hint was that she hadn’t come down for breakfast or lunch. Breakfast wasn’t crazy, but lunch was downright odd. Ivan had baked a delicious steaming loaf of rye that you could practically smell from down the cobblestone streets of the sleepy little neighborhood in Nevivon, but it had no effect. All day, it seemed, her door was locked.

Katya, who was far more nosy than her, had tried to reach out. Unfortunately Danielle anticipated that possibility and put some childish charm on the door, causing Katya’s hand to recoil immediately with an Ouch! and some more colorful words, which was more than enough to deter her.

Isabella, however, was more determined.

She didn’t think the younger woman was dead or anything like that, but she realized that this behavior was highly unusual and triggered by more recent events.

Danielle had come back late the night prior, from spending an evening with her lover. That was the only term she would ever use to refer to him. They’d been seeing each other for barely a few months before entering a deep whirlwind of a partnership. Isabella could hardly bear to listen to her friend prattle on about the man. He was handsome, she supposed, if one was into that kind of thing. Danielle would go on and on about his dark hair, his chiseled features and how he was just so tortured and emotional. That should have been her first clue, but Isabella didn’t like him from the start. But she seemed quiet, disturbed, and even shaken upon her return.

Isabella didn’t know much about him, but he wasn’t particularly friendly nor was he a great conversationalist. In fact, when she or one of their other friends spoke in a group setting, he often made snide comments in response or tried to change the subject. He was loud, cocky, and enjoyed picking fights. She could not tell what the hell he did for a living, but could deduce that none of it was good. He’d often return from long “trips” caked in dried blood, carrying large amounts of cash and fineries. Instead of admonishing him, Danielle would only welcome him with open arms and greet him with a kiss on the cheek.

What was difficult for Isabella, was that she had never seen Danielle so animated and vibrant. She was always energetic and loving around him — affectionate and doting. It was a shock to watch from afar. Who was she to question love?

Whenever she’d eat lunch with Ivan between rehearsals, the two of them leaning lazily against the cool stone of the building wall, she'd mumble between puffs of a joint. “What the hell are we gonna do about that guy…?” and Ivan would respond, “Me? Nothing. But you’re gonna end up beating the shit out of him one day. Or killing him.” His response would irk her into arguing, but at this point she would have simply agreed with him.

Thankfully, she knew the inner workings of Danielle’s mind a bit better than Katya. Isabella stood in front of the door to Danielle’s room and closed her eyes, breathing deeply. From inside the room, she sensed a potted plant - Devil’s Ivy, from what she could tell. It’s aura wasn’t too strong, it hadn’t been watered in a while, but it was enough for her to work with. Exhaling, she beckoned her magic to move through the plant — making the vines stretch and reach until she could almost feel the doorknob, as if the plant was an extension of her own fingertips. Squeezing her hand into a fist, she moved her wrist and heard a click.

She released the poor potted plant from her thrall. She was in.

Shutting the door behind her, she stepped into the room and immediately regretted her choices.

Danielle was always a self-proclaimed maximalist, but this was just ridiculous. Vines and leaves littered the floor. A haphazard circle of sand sat in the middle of the room and appeared to have been stepped in - a failed spell. Various colors of quartz decorated the desk, though some looked as if they’d been smashed. Sooty fingerprints smeared across the mirror. A bejeweled dagger was on the floor, unsheathed. A letter written in lipstick in a script she couldn’t read. So many damn candles. The scent was sickly sweet, but mostly smelled like burnt herbs. The most alarming was the dark and almost bloodlike berries that appeared to have been halfway muddled in a mortar and pestle along with a half full spell jar nearby.

Most alarming of all was her grimoire, folded open neatly - appearing utterly pristine among the chaos. Danielle’s looping handwriting was easily recognizable, but the script was severe, with several blots of ink and spills scattered across the page. Glitter, glue, feathers and scarlet drops that she could only assume was blood decorated her words.

“What are you doing?”

Danielle’s voice made Isabella jump and nearly stumble on a very large rose quartz that was on the ground. When she finally looked at the woman, who stood cross armed by the window, she frowned.

“You look awful. What the hell are you up to…?”

Danielle blinked in response, her usually bright expression appearing uncharacteristically dull. Her hair was messily tied in a bun, her shift was caked in dirt and grime, her eyeliner and lipstick smeared, and her fingers and hands dry and cracked. “I feel awful. Thanks.”

Isabella flinched at her harsh tone, even her melodic voice sounded raspy. “Danielle, you’ve been in your room for days doing…” She gesticulated to the desk and then again to the messy bed and table. “Whatever this is? Dear, whatever spell this is all for can’t be good for you.”

“Spell? You think I’m doing all of this for a damn spell? No. I’m covering everything. I’m eradicating every piece of evidence of that..! That worm! That RAT! That bastard motherfucker!” Each insult was punctuated by a very aggressive yank of a scroll of bright red satin ribbon that Isabella hadn’t noticed she’d been holding.

“What? Hold on- What happened?”

“It doesn’t matter what happened. I’m done. It’s over. I’m getting rid of him.”

Isabella regarded her for a moment, eyebrows furrowed. What in the world did she mean by that? “….What?”

Danielle turned to her with a bored expression, rolling her eyes. “Relax. I’m just removing him from my life. Nothing too extreme.”

“Yes… because every witch knows how well that goes.. And you’re doing that by tearing up your room and making a huge mess, and making spell jars, and grinding up a bunch of belladonna into a flask?”

“Oh my god Isabella I’m not a monster.” Danielle was winding the red ribbon around one of the jars before messily sealing it with candle wax from a lit candle. “I threw in some blackberries for taste. And chamomile. And a few other tricks I have. Anyway..” She exhaled and faced Isabella fully for the first time, arms crossed. “Why are you here? You’re not going to change my mind.”

Isabella took a very deep breath, trying to think of what she could possibly respond to that with. “Have you considered… That killing him with poison is not the solution here? The types of magic you’re using are making me really really worried. You could overextend yourself, or it could quite easily backfire..”

“Look, I know. I know! But I wouldn’t be doing this if it wasn’t absolutely 100% necessary. If I don’t do this…. something really bad is going to happen…”

“What?” The severity of her words made Isabella’s eyebrow arch up in distrust “What do you mean..?”

“He’s…. He’s just lost his mind..” Her voice suddenly became very small as she began picking at her fingernails. “He keeps coming back from his stupid trips with fine rubies and emeralds and all this jewelry and it just disappears the day after he arrives and he keeps meeting with these strange men who look at me weird and he’s so demanding and he keeps stealing my herbs and my things and… “ Isabella immediately rushed to Danielle to put both hands on her trembling shoulders, steadying her.

“Breathe. Breathe, Danielle. It’s okay.”

“NO! No! It isn’t okay! He made me… I made a promise and I fucked up. I know I’m an idiot and you’re not supposed to do this… but I promised with blood. And I have to break this bond with him. I’m afraid he’ll…” She gasped suddenly and her hand flew to her mouth as sobs began to shake her body.

Keeping her hands on her shoulders, Isabella steered Danielle towards the bed to sit her down, where she shook like a leaf, sobbing into her hands. Isabella muttered shit under her breath before finding a knitted throw blanket and wrapping it around the younger woman, who had practically curled up into a ball. Isabella sat next to her on the bed, a firm hand remaining on her shoulder and occasionally using the other to stroke the blonde curls from her red cheeks, now soaked with tears and makeup. This was the Danielle that she expected to see in such a situation. Scared, vulnerable, and to Isabella, so very young. Too young to try to handle something like this on her own — which both of them knew deep down.

“It’s okay… Just breathe…”

“He’s gonna-! He said he would hurt you too… and Vanya.” She let out an undignified snort, wiping the snot away with the back of her hand. “And Vasiliy…. and Katya…”

Isabella leaned down to move a lock of hair from Danielle’s eye and look at her properly. “Do you really believe that?”

“Yes? I don’t know. I mean… You’ve seen the people he hangs around..”

“I have. But still, he’s disgusting for threatening you.”

“I didn’t know what else to do.” She sighed, voice still wobbly but a bit more stable. “I just thought if I could make a potion just right, it would be so easy. It would be like falling asleep, and it wouldn’t taste bitter or anything. I know I can do it.”

Isabella nodded, letting silence overtake the room for a few minutes, with only the creaks of the wind and Danielle’s hiccups to accompany them. She knew Danielle could do it too. By herself. But she didn’t have to. At this point, Isabella herself had a difficult time maintaining her composure, her mind nearly blank with pure, white-hot rage, which only manifested in her biting her lower lip worryingly hard.

______

I imagine my thumbs on the irises

Pressing in until they burst

___________

Finally, she spoke again.

“Have you calmed down?”

“Yes… I suppose so. You’re not mad?”

“At you? No. Never.”

“You should be.”

“Why?”

“I’ve been really stupid.”

“Have you?”

“I think so. This is my fault.”

“No it’s not, dear. And you’re not stupid. If anything… Hm.”

“If anything, what?”

“I feel responsible. I didn’t like him or the company he kept. And then he hurt you. But I didn’t interfere because I thought you were happy.”

“I think I was happy, at first.” Danielle’s voice was raspy from crying. “But he turned out to be cruel. He even tried to turn me against you all… my friends.” another sniffle permeated as she wiped her nose on the back of her hand. She didn’t look Isabella in the eye as she admitted this, casting her gaze downward in shame.

“I see.” Isabella’s mouth formed a tight line, her shoulders tense as she suddenly stood up, facing the window. She opened it a crack, letting in the cold night air.

“Brrrr… Close the window, lady.” Danielle mumbled, seeming to cocoon herself into the blankets for the time being.

��It’s a full moon.” Isabella responded flatly.

“Yes, hence why I was making my stupid failed murder potion, but I’m all spent. My magic’s probably dried up by now. Dammit, I should have gotten a vial of my tears.”

“You won’t need them.” Isabella responded, assessing Danielle’s eclectic inventory. “Moon water will do.”

Danielle was quiet for a moment, and then sat up, clutching the blankets to her chest. “Wait, what are you saying?”

“Don’t be daft, Danielle. Moonwater is much more potent under a full moon and will be more effective in this potion.”

“Uh… Sorry, are you helping me craft a highly illegal murder potion? With herbs I literally got on the black market?”

“Yes. Also, you didn’t have to buy them from the black market. These are all easily foraged. I’ll have to show you sometime.”

Danielle’s bright blue eyes looked right and left and then back at where Isabella stood with a casual hand on her hip.

“But…? I thought you said killing him isn’t the solution? Also, aren't you supposed to be like?” Danielle waved her hands around. “Virtuous? Compassionate? Kind-hearted?”

“Perhaps. Today is different, though.” Isabella plucked a belladonna leaf from where it sat on the soot covered desk. “And don’t worry about the blood bond, we can fix that too. What is created can also be destroyed.”

Danielle opened her mouth to respond, but instead said nothing, pressing her lips together with a quiet hum. There were several beats of silence as she waited for Isabella to say something further or change her mind, but she stood firm, chin in the air, undeterred.

“We cannot tell Ivan.” Danielle whispered, picking frantically at her nails once again.

“Obviously. He doesn’t even like it when we move the bread box.”

“Or Katya or Vasiliy..”

“I was not planning on it. Besides, Katya would just try to stab him in broad daylight if she knew.”

“Not a soul.”

”Danielle, I know I am the last person in the world who should be saying this and I certainly need to take my own advice, but don’t overthink it.”

“This is insane.”

“You don’t have to do this. We can clean all of this up and load you up with protective charms the moment you tell me to.”

“But….”

“But…?”

“I….” Danielle couldn’t seem to finish her sentence, mouth seeming to close and open several times before she gave up.

“Milk of magnesia. And poppy milk might not be a bad addition.” Isabella moved back towards the messy desk, gathering materials.

“I can do a spell that makes the mixture clear like water?” Danielle chimed, seeming to have a more hopeful tone in her voice.

“We’ll do that after I muddle the rest of these…. blackberries.” Isabella replied, cautiously.

“Yes .. Blackberries.” Danielle murmured, leaning back and nearly surprising herself when her head hit the pillow. “Wow… I didn’t realize how tired I am…?”

“Why don’t you take a nap? I’ll take care of the rest.”

“Okay….. Thank you…” The last part was impossibly soft, her voice muffled by the pillows and her own hair, tangled near her face. Isabella would have to wake her and brush it out before it got any worse.

As she worked at the desk, she did not hesitate nor think for a second about what she did, compiling ingredients and measurements like she’d rehearsed it hundreds of times. She knew that if she thought about what it was for for too long, she would panic.

Virtuous, Compassionate Isabella, she thought to herself, grimly. Fuck that. This could not continue.

In the moment though, she felt startlingly lucid. She felt more clear-headed than she had in a long time. After seeing Danielle react like that and shake with fear, there was no other option.

“It’s done.” Isabella said in the silent room, to no one in particular, as she watched Danielle’s silent, sleeping form which moved only with the soft exhales of her breathing.

______

I don’t know how you keep smiling

#isabella #danielle #my text #blahhhh #i wrote this like 3 months ago and forgot about it so ENJOYyyy #lore #the arcana #Spotify

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super-predictable98 · 2 years

Text

The Girl From Night Raven | Twisted Wonderland AU

Chapter 10: Walk of Shame

Warning: strong language, mild sexual content, a little angst

a/n: It's been a while huh? I have been dedicating myself to my main blog, but I don't want to forget about these series. I probably won't post very often, but don't worry, this blog isn't dead. Hope you all enjoy this little chapter.

(The Girl From Night Raven Masterlist)

"Aren't you gonna get ready? We have class, you know?" Leona asked, buttoning up his yellow vest in front of the mirror.

"You never go to class, you're the biggest slacker in school, why are you so excited to go today?" Ilse cried, trying to use her blazer to hide the fact that her shirt was totally ruined from the night before. "Why did you have to rip all the buttons? You're such an animal..."

"There, take one of my shirts, it might be a little big on you, but it's better than this."

She begrudgingly followed his advice before heading to the door with a huff. "Wait five minutes before you leave, I don't want people to see us walking together."

"Why is that?"

"Because they'll think we're dating."

"Would that be so bad? Who cares what people think anyway?"

It was true, normally Ilse didn't care, but she had way too much pride to admit she drank from the water she said she would never drink, an expression her mother always used.

"Look, if it means that much to you, then fine, go ahead first."

So that was what shame felt like... Never had Ilse felt more embarrassed than leaving the Savanaclaw dormitory in that huge shirt that spilled out of her blazer and her hair even messier than usual. Without making eye contact with anyone, she headed straight to class, taking her seat between Ace and Jack.

"Ilse! Idia and Ortho are crazy looking for you," Ace exclaimed. "Where have you been?"

"I- I... Leona needed help with potions, I was tutoring him," she cleared her throat.

"You tutoring Kingscholar?" Jack grimaced. "Thought you couldn't stand him."

"I can't, he's disgusting and smells like wet fur, but he... Paid me! He's rich, so I don't feel bad taking money from him, especially when I have to hear his blabbing all night long."

"I didn't think he would need help, he's actually really smart-" Deuce murmured.

"NO MORE QUESTIONS OKAY?" she snapped, resting her head on the desk.

"After the first period, make sure to let your dorm leader know you're okay, also Kalim, Malleus, and Floyd are worried sick so see if you can let them know too," Jack whispered.

Ilse groaned and rubbed her eyes in frustration. Not only she had made what might've been the biggest mistake of her life, but she also managed to worry her best friends, upset her dorm leader, and potentially ruin her chances with three really nice guys who actually liked her and treated her well.

——————————————————

As Ilse walked into the cafeteria for lunch all eyes turned to her. As soon as she sat by one of the empty tables, a small crowd gathered around. Floyd and Kalim being the most enthusiastic members.

"Are you okay, starfish?" Floyd asked. "Did something happen to you last night?"

"Nah, I'm totally fine, not a scratch. I was just tutoring Leona for some extra cash," she tried to sound as relaxed as possible. Virginity was a social construct, right? Girls usually 'break' their hymen way before they even have sex, by riding a horse or a bike... Right? It's not like he had to be this big part of her life from now on.

"Really? Leona told us he was tutoring you," Kalim frowned in confusion.

"Leona... Tutoring me? Yeah like that would happen," she scoffed. "All that matters is that I'm here, I'm fine, nothing bad happened."

"You're right," Kalim smiled softly at her. "We were worried, glad you're okay."

Malleus was on the other side of the room with Lilia and the other Diasomnia members, they always isolated themselves for some reason. Ilse raised her hand to wave at him and he nodded, heaving a sigh of relief knowing his favorite mortal was okay.

"I should probably find Idia and let him know I'm alive," she got up, not able to finish what was on her plate, which Ruggie immediately noticed and took advantage of, stealing her tray as soon as she left.

Idia and Ortho were, of course, at the dorm. After Ruggie's confession about Ilse's safety, they were a little more relaxed, but they still hadn't seen her and the Ignihyde dorm leader started wondering if she actually decided to change dorms like he suggested on the day of her selection.

"Ids? Idia?" Ilse knocked on the door and he nearly had a heart attack.

"Ilse?"

"Yeah, it's me, can I come in?"

"Uh..." That had never happened before, usually Idia could communicate just fine through the door and there was no need for him to look into anybody's eyes, he was fine with that. But for some reason this time he wanted to look into her eyes. "Yeah, sure."

Ilse slowly opened the door and stepped inside his room. It was a mess of food containers, manga, video games, and dirty laundry, but it was cozy at the same time. Idia sunk in his chair, blushing when he saw her come in. She was probably gonna think he was dirty or something... He shouldn't have said yes.

"Hey, I just wanted to see you face to face to apologize for last night. It was very irresponsible of me to just disappear and not tell anyone, especially you, senpai," she said, the sincerity in her voice nearly making his hair explode in pink flames.

"I-It's fine, we were just worried that something might've happened to you," Idia murmured. "I'm glad it didn't. Ortho mentioned something about tutoring, right?"

"Right."

"You're not a very good liar, you know that?" He said. For someone who avoided human contact at all costs, he was very perceptive. He knew it was none of his business where she was and what she was doing, but he still wanted to know. "But you don't have to tell me the truth if you don't want to."

"I'm not- if I tell you something, do you promise not to tell anyone?" She asked quietly.

Idia nodded, unable to tear his eyes away from her blushing face. That was probably the most adorable thing he had ever seen, she looked like an anime character. "Who would I even tell?" He shrugged.

"Okay, so... Sam from the store gave me a chocolate and it turns out it had a true desire spell in it. I ended up going totally insane and marching to the Savanaclaw dorm."

"True desire? So your true desire was to spend the night there?" He asked confused.

"Idia, please don't hate me! I- I spent the night with Leona and I can't tell anyone else, but I trust you and I respect you and you're the only one I can talk to about it!" Ilse finally said and fell onto his bed, crying her eyes out.

"Oh! You... Spent the night with him? Like together in the same bed? Doing... Stuff?"

"Yeah, and I barely remember anything, but now I'm scared that stupid potion prophecy is gonna come true," she sobbed and Idia, against his better judgment, got up from his gaming chair and sat down next to her, gently rubbing her back as if trying to soothe her. "I can't believe I did that, and with him! This school is crawling with cute guys, nice, respectful guys, and I-"

"I'm sorry, Ilse," he reluctantly wrapped his arms around her. It had been ages since he actually hugged someone. The last time must've been when he went home for the holidays, but something about her telling him such a personal secret, trusting him with that confession, made him feel closer to her. "You know, you did nothing wrong, you were under a spell. And even if you weren't, that's not a crime or anything, you don't have to be ashamed."

"Yeah, but it was a true desire spell, that means something."

"I know, but you can desire lots of people, doesn't mean you have to marry all of them. I mean, I have a dozen waifus at least! Why can't you have a few husbandos?"

"What?" Ilse looked up at him confused.

"Look, what I'm saying is that you can find several people attractive at the same time, you might want to... Do stuff with them, but it doesn't mean you love all of them. So what that chocolate made you do wasn't really that serious. It was just one of your true desires, maybe if you ate another one today, you'd end up somewhere else."

"Wow, Ids," she wiped the tears from her face. "I never thought I'd hear something like that from you. Where did you learn to be such a good confidant?"

"Just because I don't like talking to people doesn't mean I can't give good advice, when you listen as much as I do instead of just talking, you learn what people need to hear."

"If I didn't just mess up monumentally and all that, I'd kiss you right now," Ilse admitted. "But that would just make the tangle even bigger."

"Y-yeah, totally tangled, I get it..." Idia's flames started to heat up more, turning a bright shade of pink and he couldn't hide how much that statement messed with him. He had a chance with her?

——————————————————

"Hey, kitten," a low growl made Ilse nearly scream as she worked on her homework at the library.

"Leona, don't call me that!" She hissed, pushing him away.

The lion boy huffed and took a seat next to her. Ever since that morning, he'd been wanting to talk and maybe understand what would happen regarding their encounter, but she had been avoiding him from the moment she left the room.

"So, we're just not gonna talk about it?" He asked, resting his legs on the table.

"Talk about what?"

"You know what."

"Then no, we are not talking about it," Ilse looked up from her book with a hollow grin before turning her head back down.

"I can't believe you're gonna let this silly hatred ruin something nice. We had a good time, you really don't remember anything?"

"Well, over the last few days I've been remembering, but I'm not enjoying remembering it."

"Are you sure?" He smirked, flashing his bright white teeth. "Because you were very into it that night."

"What is your problem, Kingscholar?" She slammed the book shut. "Are you in love with me or something? Why won't you leave me the fuck alone?"

He gaped at her words, how could she even suggest he was in love with her? That despicable, bossy, stubborn, arrogant herbivore? Who does she think she is?

What he felt was definitely not love, it was nothing, it was an animalistic attraction created by the rollercoaster effect she had on him. Sometimes she was nice, sometimes she wasn't and that certainly left him confused.

None of that explained why he hated to see her with other boys, why he nearly lost his shit when he caught a glimpse of her kissing Kalim, why he felt like strangling Floyd anytime he saw that lanky fish boy hitting on her so desperately. But Leona just chose to ignore all of that.

"No! You wish!" He exclaimed instead.

"Then what do you want from me?"

"I don't even know, just forget it. I don't give a shit about you, Gothel, maybe you just put a spell on me or something. That little song you sing when you make people do what you want."

"If I were using my Siren Song on you, you'd be long gone."

"Or maybe that's what you want me to think, because you are the one who is in love with me!"

"Yeah, keep flattering yourself, stupid cat," Ilse scoffed. "If you don't get out of my face in five seconds, I will use the Siren Song to make you jump from the rooftop."

"You wouldn't..."

"Flower glim and glow, let your power-"

"Fine, you psycho!" Leona was about to get up when he spotted Malleus coming towards her table and instead draped one arm around her.

"What are you doing? Take your dirty paws off me."

Malleus didn't seem intimidated by the gesture. Instead, he took a seat on the other side, elegantly crossing his legs, unlike his opponent. Mal tilted his head, waiting for Ilse to notice he was there.

"Spit it out, lizard," Leona growled, tightening his grip around her shoulders. "What do you want?"

"Malleus!" Ilse covered her mouth after calling him way louder than she anticipated, her heart nearly racing out of her chest. "Hi, what's up?"

"Lilia heard it from the first years that you spent the night being tutored. I'm so glad it was all a misunderstanding, but I just had to check on you, mortal child," he explained.

"I wasn't being tutored, I was tutoring. When would I ever need academic advice from mister fail-a-lot?" She laughed. "But yeah, I'm okay, sorry I just disappeared like that. I wasn't really myself last night."

"And what were you studying? If you don't mind me asking, of course."

"Female anatomy," Leona wet his lips.

"Shut up..." Ilse whispered, trying to break free from his embrace, but he was too strong.

"You seem upset, did something happen?" Malleus asked.

"Do you know what popping one's cherry means, you scaly bastard?" Leona countered with a shit-eating grin.

"No, what does it mean?"

"It means Ilse and I had sex that night. That's why she disappeared and spent the night at the Savanaclaw, because I was fucking her brains out."

"Leona!" She kicked his shin and finally managed to push him away, standing up. Her eyes filled with tears and she felt so embarrassed she could just faint. "You had no right to say anything, it was the spell."

"Calm down, meat, everyone would eventually figure it out. What are you so scared of? Your sycophantic followers won't kiss your boots every time you walk into a room? You just wanna keep every boy in this school wrapped around your fingers and never really pick a boyfriend. You're just like your grandma and your mom."

"Fuck you! Second-born piece of shit! It's a good thing you'll never be king, all the people of Sunset Savanna are very grateful for that, you tyrant!" She snapped before running out of the library to hide in her bedroom. She would rather die than cry in front of him or hear what Malleus had to say about this whole thing.

Truth is that she felt disrespected, she knew the moment people heard the news, they would think less of her just because she was the only girl around.

"How could you do this to a lady?" Malleus finally asked, knowing better than to chase after her. He understood better than anyone that sometimes people just needed to be alone with their own thoughts.

"What? Fucked her? She asked for it," Leona smirked. "And she loved it."

"No, expose her like that," he frowned. "I don't really mind what happened between you and her, that doesn't change the way I feel about Ilse, but after this ridiculous display, it certainly changes the way I feel about you. It isn't my business what you did or didn't do, I worry about her safety and her happiness, something you don't seem to care about."

#twisted wonderland fanfic #twisted wonderland au #twisted wonderland oc #twisted wonderland #twst #twst fanfic #twst au #twst oc #leona x oc #leona kingscholar #oc x canon #fanfic

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keefwho · 7 months

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September 28 - 2023 Thursday

10:40pm

I didn't journal last night because I was up late chatting with Daisy.

This morning I had a hard time decided breakfast but I picked my last sausage pattie in a hamburger bun with a side of rice. My diet has been pretty non-varied lately so I'm trying to remember to eat something as different as possible every meal aside from my usual chicken dinner but even that might get changed up.

Stream didn't go so well. I just couldn't figure out what to work on. I'm sort of idea burnt out right now. In the past I would have been tired of the process but I feel like I can draw forever. Its just coming up with interesting ideas I actually want to do and not just the same poses and scenarios over and over. I ended stream very early, only about 30 minutes in. I also had to use the bathroom pretty bad. I felt bad about ending but also I knew that I honestly needed a break. I still do I think. I've been so focused on creating ideas that I haven't been taking in any information. I'm reverbing in my own brain. I need some fresh content to go off of.

After stream I honestly can't remember what I did. I somehow managed to kill a couple hours by doing actually nothing. Maybe watching a Twitch stream, maybe working a little bit on my room scan, and trying to find something to clean. Eventually I decided to fellate myself but I probably shouldn't have, I ended up not being very into it and because of that it took about 40 minutes.

Lunch was a few chicken fries, fish stick, and a macaroni cup. I had been looking forward to working on something while watching a stream on the side. Instead I had joined Eggs server and she showed up along with a couple of her friends. It was a nice call for the most part. Some of it was her friends nonstop narrating their OSU gameplay which rotted my brain but that stopped. For a bit it was just me and her and we share mutual feelings about being glad we bumped into each other for similar reasons. She was sort of isolating after a friend group break up and I also have very few social connections. I had been working on a halloween pic of Adora for Daisy in this call. Egg and her friend were watching and complimented me a lot which was nice, they really like my coloring brush. When I was done with the pic I left.

I felt terrible for Daisy today because of her finding out her insurance doesn't cover mental visits and also she had a bad day at work. Thats part of the reason I did the halloween pic. I didn't mean to get the whole thing done today but I thought it would make her feel at least a little better. I don't think I play myself up enough because that pic only took 2 hours. I think a lot of artist wish they could draw something so complete in that time. At this point its normal for me so it doesn't feel like anything special but I should take pride in being able to crank something out like this when it's needed.

After a little stream watching Daisy and I played Zelda together for just a little bit before her mom got home. When she hopped off my friend Will messaged and reminded me that we had planned to hang out in VRchat tonight so we did that for a bit. It was cool catching up with him even though I forgot about the plans and didn't quite feel up to socializing with someone I hadn't talked to in a decade. It was worth it though. We got him an avatar and showed him my cabin before getting crashed at a Black Cat.

Daisy and I chatted before bed as usual while I'm been Twitch gambling. I'm running another room scan alignment tonight and hoping it goes better with new settings. I dont want to settle for a lame result.

Its nearly time I try to figure out a new plan to self therapy. I've just stopped for a bit to regroup because everything kinda stopped working. I got too focused on certain things and at the same time not focused enough on others. I wasn't very coordinated in general, so much so I can't even describe exactly what the problem was. Just that I was so scattered. Whatever I try next will be more structured and focused.

I've naturally been better about feeling secure in my relationships. It might only be temporary but I've been aware of how miserable and harmful it is to not trust in my close bonds. Especially when I'm given so much reassurance. Sure I have legitimate reasons I end up feeling like this but it's still so goofy. Sometimes I just say fuck past experiences and so called trauma. I want to be happy and at least sometimes I can be.

#journal #diary

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nikos-diary · 8 months

Text

forgot to write my entry last night oops ! but yesterday was my first day of school and it was pretty nice. I couldnt sleep the night before though. But anyways, i ended up getting to school late after an hour and a half long bus ride. For some reason, my bus driver went through the bus loop for my school but didnt think to stop? So at the exit i had to call him like hey dude this is My School Tf. He got upset at me cus apparently he called for mcfatter students but im deaf, i cannot hear sometimes man. Anyways, in first period, i sit by myself in the very back, and i mean bymyself, no one occupies the desk in front or to either side of me. Im thinking of moving up a seat today to sit behind a kid i know. Then i wont be isolated yk. in second period, i got a new math teacher and hes some old guy who IMMEDIATELY jumped into the lesson, i was like okay wow damn bros excited. it was easy to understand. i hope i keep understanding the math, i hate math when i cant understand it. like it sucks dog when i cant understand and then i give up and nearly fail. I like when i understand. Anyways, then was lunch, and i met up with a friend i havent seen since middle school. Im a junior now so its been about two years. But they told me that on the last day of school , i interrupted a confession from someone else to them and they were glad i interrupted. I felt kinda bad for interrupting but at least i helped? anyways, i had to show two new kids how my schools lunch works, and they both like culinary food. Both got the wings and chocolate cake and stuff. I just bought a soda. after that was my tech program. I was rlly excited to see one of my friends but apparently HE SKIPPED SCHOOL YESTERDAY>:( so i didnt get to see him. but . whatever. Hes coming today ! :3 but my texh program is multi media and im really excited to start except we cant rlly start until we have both teams and our adobe accounts up, which might take a week. So free week? But im antsy to start working already honestly. but it was nice and fun to be there, im excited for the rest of the year. Afterschool was bus, and i was in a different bus loop this year so it was confusing. And so many more people go to that bus loop, so it was also overwhelming. And hot. Summer heat sucks :( i was sweating so much, and im wearing jeans anx a leather vest and a button up, and none of those are good for heat. so that sucked. I got home around 6, which is normal. my sister told me she needs to use my computer for her school and i got upset because thats my computer why cant you use your computer i dont want you in my room asking for my computer when i need to do My work. so im working on fixing the old computer again. The old computer is the computer i used to use before it killed itself and its now being an absolute ass to me. refuses to work >:(. but i hope i can work on it more tonight.

#diary entry #daily blog #first day back #school

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frogsandfries · 10 months

Text

I feel so stupid

I'm sitting here crying over a fanfic.

I know what an anathema Rowling has made her own franchise, but that doesn't take back my childhood. Hermione was one of the first characters I ever really saw myself in. And this stupid fic feels so much more real to the Harry Potter universe than the end of the Deathly Hallows. Hermione, the smartest witch in her class, her niche driving her into isolation from her friends--when I was in high school, I took the classes I was interested in, which meant I didn't really get to be with my friends. Even in college, my friends seemed to be in one area while I was somewhere else. And I have no fucking idea how to leave the house to find some club or group or somewhere to hang out where I can learn or enjoy a hobby--where do graphic novel artists meet in a Thursday evening to, like, critique each other's stories or linework or development in their colorwork or whatever?

It's not........ fucking fair, that she doesn't have to be alone and this fictional character gets to have hot lusty sex while I haven't lusted for someone, well, okay--apart from that one time, that was like five years ago. But before that was like eight years ago.

I feel like such a freak. I always manage to find the most abusive person possible. Why would a normal, not-abusive person want anything to do with me?

I just want senpai to notice me, but why do I even care? Neither of us is going to move across the country for the other. I love living here. Like, I really love it.

Do I even believe in romance? Maybe that's my problem. If I held out for romantic love, I would just be alone, so I settle. That's the problem, the difference between fiction and reality. No one is going to shove you into the arms of your lover so you can have a steamy enemies to lovers arc. I don't even feel like I had any real enemies in high school. Even in high school, nobody really knew I existed, let alone cared.

Currently, I have three people who, if I didn't message them for a week, would even know anything was wrong.

Just one time, I want someone to be slightly obsessed with me and want to tear my clothes off when we're in the same room. Just one time, I want someone who would jump through flaming hoops or some shit for me. Just one time, I want someone to make me a thoughtful, beautiful lunch and tell the whole internet, like, I know she likes extra watercress on her lox bagel.

I don't think anyone I've been in a relationship has ever noticed or appreciated things about me. That's fucked up.

The problem is, I don't love myself enough to filter for quality. I'm desperate for the first thing that comes along. I don't need to be desperate anymore. For the first time in my adult life, I'm fully independent. I have my own apartment. I have my own job which I can stomach well enough until I can net something else, like trainer maybe. Something more interesting. This job has plenty of opportunities. I don't need to glom on to the first thing that comes along.

I'm really working on myself. I'm focusing on my health, trying to integrate little exercises into my morning, and stretching, forcing myself to go out of the apartment when I have a few bucks to spare, even though it's been over a hundred degrees when I get off work. I've been working on the graphic novel--on the script material, on coloring, on my lineworks.

For the first time since I moved to New Mexico, I feel motivated to work on my graphic novel, I feel focused. I don't feel judged and like I have to be slightly vigilant, one ear open.

I dunno, does it matter if I don't believe in steamy, lustful romance? Isn't it more important to have a good companionship, partnership, to be compatible to live together? Sex isn't an entire relationship. Lust just causes a sunk cost fallacy, "well this relationship was great for six months when we just fucked each other's brains out, what are we supposed to do now that we're too busy or stressed or whatever".

I just want someone who doesn't need to control me, doesn't feel insecure when I don't spend the evening with them, someone who doesn't corner me when I'm upset, angry, frustrated, whatever, and just need some fucking space. I just want a companion who loves me and notices me and cares about me. Someone who respects how I like to keep my home clean and organized. Someone who doesn't mind that I don't reach out physically; somebody who will reach out until I stop stiffening in surprise at their touch. But I'm such a piece of shit, I can't accept those things. It would be too good to be true. I need to keep punishing myself with the woman who gave birth to me, over and over.

Maybe that's why I don't believe in romance. All I've known is self-hatred so deep it bleeds all over the self-hater's children.

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seawater-aurelia-writing · 3 years

Text

The Break

Pairing(s): Fem!MC/Yuu/Reader x TBD

Summary: MC finally shuts down from all of her acts of helping with overblots and the countless favors/demands that are asked of her. When the Prefect of Ramshackle is the one who needs help, who steps forward?

WARNINGS

I am not the best at labeling warnings or triggers but I can say that this story is laden with neglect, self-neglect, anxiety, possible depression and attempts to justify the above. There could be more labels that I can add but i’m unsure how to word them - so please exercise caution.

Quick Note: The reader in this story is largely based upon Cinderella, for multiple reasons (#1 being that I want to and #2 being that I absolutely love Cinderella and think she’s amazingヾ(•ω•`)o ) . If that type of character behavior annoys or offends you, I recommend skipping this!

She should have seen it coming; The break. Her break.

Her sight blurred with tears, which spilled over her eyes quickly as she laid upon the floor of the library – cold and alone. In front of her, just out of reach, laid her phone amidst the plentiful books which laid strewn chatoticly across the floor from her harsh tumble. Her phone vibrated constantly cause M/C o flinch as she imagined the messages that must be flying across her notifications; Her friends and upperclassmen asking for favors and why she hadn’t completed what they asked.

‘I need to… get up.’ She thought to herself, willing herself to move her arms but her body was more akin to cold, ancient steel, a machine that had been abandoned and forgotten throughout time; It felt nothing like how she was a month ago, a week ago, a few hours ago. ‘ I have.. so much left to do.’

As she tried to find the will to stand – M/C thought of how she ended up in this position; body battered and bruised after falling from the top of the ladder in the deserted corner of the library.

She could barely life her feet as she made her way down the path, back towards Ramshackle Dorm. In her arms, Grim lay curled into her chest as he slept peacefully in her arms.

‘We both had a long day.’ MC mused to herself, gently pressing his closer as the cold, wintry wind blew harder. She recounted their day slowly, going over each task they had accomplished.

Crowley wished for them to wake up earlier to remove unwanted, viney weeds from around the campus gates, Sam’s Store, and the fencing around the Flying Course field in exchange he’d give them some aid to finally repair their roof. Unable to refuse such an offer, M/C awoke at 3 am to be able to accomplish all of the weeding.

However, Grim had not woken to any of her calls or he just ignored her, leaving M/C to venture into the darkened morning on her own to do the weeding.

After 2 hours, when she was finally able to head back to Ramshackle to freshen up before breakfast, she was stopped by Vil. The Pomefiore Dorm Head all but demanded her attention for an hour in the afternoon, her lunch period specifically, to fetch him some arctic sea water from Azul.

Vil was supposedly unable to pick up the water himself as he had an impromptu photoshoot and Azul would only meet during lunchtime.

Despite the tone he used, M/C could sense that Vil was more antsy about missing his photoshoot -made more evident by the slight twitch at the mention of potentially missing the event. She agreed with a bright smile; choosing to ignore Vil’s comment about grass sticking to her and her ‘odor’ when she turned to leave.

Finally, she made it to Ramshackle and rid herself of the stray remnants of debris before she freshened up. Grim, who finally awoke, all but rushed her from the home before she could rest – determined to beat Ace and Deuce to breakfast.

But as luck would have it, M/C could not make it to the Dining Hall before she was stopped by a rather, frazzled Ruggie, who all but shoved a bag of food onto her. He left rushed orders to take it to Leona as he was asked to help restock the lounge before classes. He ran off before she could refuse.

Grim happily skipped to the dining room, telling her not to waste time since he wasn’t going to save her any of the food. However, before she could rush off – Grim yelled back at her to pick up some tuna for him at Sam’s since she was going out of the main building anyway.

She only nodded, ignoring the hollowed feeling in her stomach and the way it rumbled in protest.

M/C remembers being stopped before she could reach Leona, the botanical garden just in sight. That view had been blocked by the ever-looming, Leech Twins. Floyd grinned down at her and plucked the sandwich from her hands.

“Ah! Koechi-chan is so sweet!~ She brought food for us, Jade” Floyd cheered, ignoring her protests and pleas for him to give her the food back.

“Indeed she did, Floyd.” Jade chuckled, doing nothing to stop his twin, who began to eat the food in front of M/C. “And by the way, Prefect. Vil told us that you would be the one picking up his items later today.”

“Y-yes that’s right. At lunch time.” She clarified, her voice softer as she deflated. In retrospect, she still didn’t know what she could have said to Floyd to make him stop. So many girls on Magicam were adamant about how they maintain dominance over their own friends to avoid being stepped on but they always sounded cruel; Giving instructions to ‘clapback’, to insult them, to physically hurt them or poke at their insecurities to make them listen. She didn’t want to snap at the twins, not only would it not do her any good but angering them isn’t what she wanted.

“Azul needs to push that time to this evening, at dinner. Vil suddenly requested twice the amount and thus more payment is required.” M/C remembered the chill that ran down her spine as the Twins seemed to loom over her even more.

“P-Payment? But I don’t-“

“Rook is handling the payment but,in the even he doesn’t, please he prepared to pay any outstanding fees.”

The Twins ignored her pleas for clarification, with Floyd only turning around to demand that she be present for his basketball practice later today.

M/C recounted how, after that, her day became a blur with random intervals of clarity when another request or demand was made of her.

Ace and Deuce asking her to handle their chores in Heartslabyul of feeding the Hedgehogs and Flamingos while they went to mandatory study hall with Professor Trein.

Trey caught her and asked for her to pick up some cream from Sam’s shop for him. She also picked up the tuna that Grim had asked for and the only thing she could afford to eat to replace the breakfast that she missed – a discounted egg salad sandwich.

A sandwich she could only eat half of, as the other half was given to Silver, who had missed breakfast looking for Malleus. He had not asked anything of her, she remembered, but the way he looked at her was odd to say the least. He was adament on her sitting down and finishing her half of a sandwich before leaving but the appearance of Ortho, who asked for her to run an errand for Idia, pulled her away.

Her classes came and went, leaving her feeling isolated as usual. Professor Crewel, never one to shy away from a ‘training’ opportunity, chided her for using an incorrect about of Phoeniz wings in her potion. He only became agitated when she proceeded to answer his questions about the potion, a simple draught, completely wrong. Grim was of no help as even he didn’t know the answers, nor did Ace or Deuce by what they had said but Ace and Grim took great joy in laughing at her misery.

Normally, it wouldn’t have affect her but today, it hurt.

But she smiled anyway.

Lunch time came and, again, she was stopped before she entered the dining hall. Sebek demanded her help in finding Malleus, who was not present at lunch. Again, Grim deserted her as Sebek grabbed her and dragged her along beside him and Silver to find Malleus.

Again, Silver regarded her in an odd way but he said nothing out of the ordinary towards her.

They never did find Malleus and Sebek took too yelling at her for being unable to be of any use in finding him.

“..Sorry, Sebek. I’ll try harder next time.” Was all she could say, while Silver chided him on being too harsh.

As they made it back to the main building, it was time for classes; She had missed lunch as well.

‘Perhaps that’s why I was so dizzy.’ She thought to herself, managing to prop herself onto her elbows. The floor beneath her moved and rippled, similar to the waves in the great oceans back in her homeworld. ‘Correction, why I AM so dizzy…’

Her mind again wandered back to her day after lunch time; Where her day only worsened.

Without any proper food in her, there was no way that she could stay awake with Professor Trein’s class. Lucius quickly spotted her and alerted Trein, before Deuce could fully wake her up.

“Do you believe yourself too smart to pay attention within my class, Miss M/C.” He sneered, a glare firmly on his face as he gazed down at her.

“N-No, sir. I’m sorry, Professor! It wasn’t-“

“Silence.” His voice was firm as harsh, caushing her to flinch and shrink in her seat. “There will be no talking back to me of any kind. I had high expectations of you, Miss M/C and yet you have a complete lack of manners. As punishment, you will write me a paper explaining the important of Magical History, no less than 10 pages. If it is not on my desk first thing in the morning, then expect a harsher punishment. Do you understand?”

“Y-Yes, sir.” She mumbled, her head bowed in submission. M/C could remined the feeling of the heat behind her eyes; How hard it was to hold back tears in that moment.

She hadn’t expected kindness from Professor Trein but it seemed no one was recognizing that she was doing the absolute best that she could do with the circumstances that she was in.

She was blunt and sarcastic at times, yes, but she can’t think of anyone who can hold their tongue constantly. Yet when she seemed to speak, unless it was humorous in nature or her agreeing with those around her- she went unheard. But if she pressed and asked for help, who would drop their things to come to her aid?

Those thoughts plagued her for the rest of the day;

Even as Floyd threatened and scolded her for missing basketball practice, where she was supposed to stock the ice water and the cool towels for him, even though Epel asked her to pick up some old weights from Ruggie.

Even when Ruggie scolded her for not delivering Leona’s sandwich, calling her a thief for eating the sandwich when she reassured him that she didn’t and that Floyd had taken it.

Even when Ace and Deuce whined and complained about letting them down for not feeding the animals properly, when she couldn’t do it properly as they never explained all of the rules to her.

Even when Azul asked, demanded, that she find a specific book for him within the dark recesses of the library before closing as Vil’s additional fee– the thoughts never left her.

In truth, she was merely an anomaly in this world; An irregularity that didn’t belong, didn’t have a place within this magic, twisted world that she found herself in. She was without even the most basic magic to help her through her day to day life as the other had. M/C didn’t know even the most basic of terms within classes that would help her – shown by her struggling grades and performance.

She wouldn’t last outside of NRC, even Crowley had alluded to that. She had no birth certificate, no I.D. on her person, and no family of which to speak of.

Who would risk their own education and future to help someone who wouldn’t be able to do anything on their own anyway?

Even Grim, the other half to her ‘whole student’ was beginning to separate from her as his magic was matured and refined.

But that was why she smiled, was it? She smiled because she liked being needed, feeling as if she had a place in a world where she had none. Even if it ended with her being overworked, sleep-deprived and feeling so hollow – she was needed. A little suffering was nothing.

If her friends would excel in the world around her, wouldn’t that be worth it all? They shouldn’t have to suffer and fail in their classes just because a useless anomaly couldn’t handle the most basic of things.

‘It’s fine.’ She thought to herself, finally pushing herself to her knees. She winced, her movements letting her know just how bad her fall had truly been; Her chest hurt and ached with every beat of her heart, her right leg, the one which hit the ground first, was pulsing and red hot and all over – it felt as if fire ants were stinging her.

“It’s..fine.” She mumbled to herself, reaching with shaking hands to begin the task of stacking the books that she knocked over.

“No, it is not.” Came a hardened voice from behind her.

M/C tensed, her eyes widening as she registered the voice as Professor Trein. As she straightened her back quickly, aiming to turn to look at her professor, the room began to spin once more. Sound all around her became muffled as it felt as though her entire was was submerged underwater.

“ -s M/C. Are your manners that abhorrent that you cannot even turn to face when when I speak to y-.” Professor Trien fumed but his voice faded away despite how hard she attempted to focus on it.

“P-Professor…” She whimpered, curling into herself to try to stop the sensations around her; But they never ceased, even as she felt something wet run down her face - a pain beginning to bloom upon her head as she focused on the wet feeling.

And it all went dark.

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widowsistersandfriends · 2 years

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Hi! Could you do a fic where Nat's been on a mission for few days and Yelena feels really down and isolates herself. Wanda wants to cheer her up but they're not that close so she doesn't know if Yelena wants to spend time with her. With cheer up tickles? Thanks! (sorry for my bad English and your fics are really cute!)

Hi Anon! Thank you so much for this request! This has been my longest one so far, and there's a little bit of angst (sort of) at the beginning, but I hope you enjoy!!

Word Count: 2238

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Yelena opened her eyes from another night of disruptive sleep, hoping that she was finally awake from the nightmare she was living in. Her nose was stuffed and her eyes were swollen and red from all the crying she had been doing for the past few days. She sat up and glanced over to her side, only to see the other half of the bed empty once again. Her chest tightened as she felt tears springing up into her eyes again. The blonde buried her face into her pillow, hoping that it would muffle her cries enough so that no one would hear her.

Natasha had been on a mission for a few days with some of the other Avengers, and at first Yelena had joked with Natasha that the redhead would be the one in shambles and unable to be apart from her. The truth was, although Natasha did miss her baby sister, Yelena was much more distraught than her. Sometimes Fanny would come over to her bed occasionally to comfort her, which the dog did now, as her excellent sense of hearing picked up on Yelena’s crying.

Fanny walked over towards Yelena, whimpering slightly as if asking her what was wrong. “Hey girl,” Yelena said solemnly as she softly petted the dog’s head. Fanny spotted the tears running down Yelena’s cheeks, and gave her a quick lick on the cheek in hopes of making the tears go away, as Fanny never liked to see Yelena so sad. The blonde couldn’t help but cry more, as seeing Fanny reminded her of the person the dog was named after.

Meanwhile, Wanda and Kate were in the living room of the compound having lunch together. “Does Yelena seem a little off to you?” Wanda asked Kate, but then realized that the answer was obvious. Wanda was really just trying to ask Kate for help when it came to consoling Yelena because she really wanted to help, but didn’t know the blonde that well. “She misses Natasha so much, but I think she’s a little too stubborn to come to us for comfort,” Kate said, taking a bite of her sandwich. “I wish there was something I could do to help cheer her up,” Wanda thought aloud. “If anyone should do it, I think it should be you, Wanda. You know Natasha better than me, and Yelena would just tell me to leave,” Kate said, only slightly jealous that Wanda would be spending time with whom she thought to be her best friend. “Are you sure? You know her better than me, and y’all are closer in age,” Wanda commented. “Trust me, just use your powers and you’ll be fine,” Kate said, dropping a subtle hint to help Wanda out. At first the young witch was faced with confusion, but soon smirked thoughtfully.

Yelena was still in bed, petting Fanny every so often, but hadn’t found the motivation to get out of bed to eat or do anything. What’s the point in getting up? Just to be faced with more loneliness and more hours and days without Natasha? Yelena thought to herself. The blonde longed for Natasha to be in her arms as they would cuddle, and she would feel the safest she’s ever been. She wished that she were brave enough to be by herself for a few days, but ever since they had been separated in the Red Room, she had always longed to have Natasha right by her side.

Okay Wanda, you’ve got this. Just open the door and talk to her like a normal person. Wanda thought to herself as she stood outside the blonde’s bedroom door. At first, Wanda didn’t want to try to comfort Yelena because she thought she needed some alone time. But after several days of isolating herself and not eating much, Wanda began to worry a lot more. Not only was she concerned about her health, but she also knew how Yelena felt. After losing Pietro, she felt like her world had ended. She felt lifeless, with no light at the end. While she knew Natasha would most likely come home safely, she knew that inside of Yelena’s head were thoughts of the worst possible scenarios. She knew Yelena was reminded of being separated from her big sister at such a young age. It was then that Wanda realized that she knew that she could comfort and help Yelena through this rough time, as she had similar experiences.

Wanda knocked twice on Yelena’s door, but got no response. “Yelena, can I please come in?” Wanda asked softly, trying her hardest to get through to the blonde. Yelena’s ears perked up, as she had at first thought that Kate was just knocking and trying to come in to be annoying. Yet Yelena didn’t answer, as she still wanted to wallow in her sorrows by herself. No one understood what she was going through. The only person who truly knew what she was going through and how she felt was thousands of miles away.

“Yelena, I’m coming in,” the witch firmly said, as she was not taking no for an answer. Yelena huffed slightly in annoyance, but was a little too loud as Wanda heard it as she entered. “What do you want?” Yelena asked, annoyed that people wouldn’t just leave her alone. “I just wanted to make sure you’re okay,” Wanda said softly, her heart breaking at the sight of the young girl who was clearly torn apart by this whole situation, as she took a seat on the bed next to the blonde. Fanny somehow knew that they needed some privacy, so she exited the room promptly and went to find Kate, figuring that Lucky would be nearby.

“Well, I’m not okay,” Yelena said harshly and thought so go away already. The blonde had forgotten that Wanda could read minds, and while Wanda read her mind, she also could see that she was secretly wanting her to stay. A smirk formed on Wanda’s face, before turning back to a consoling and comforting face. “Yelena, I know you’ve been down the past few days because of Natasha. I just wanted to let you know that I’m here for you. And so is everyone else here, but especially me because I know what you’re going through. Yeah right, what does this weird lady witch even know, Yelena thought in her head, as it was read immediately by Wanda. “I lost Pietro. I felt like the world had come to an end, and that there was no point in doing anything anymore. I had lost the person closest to me,” Wanda finished, feeling her chest tightening and a lump forming in her throat thinking about the brother and best friend she had lost. Yelena saw this, and then realized that Wanda was right. Although Natasha wasn’t gone forever, Wanda did have a similar experience of being without a loved sibling. Yelena however would never say this, as she was too stubborn and had already tried to shoo her out the door. “She will come back safe and healthy,” Wanda reassured her. “But she would want to return to you being the same way,” Wanda finished. “You still have hope, Yelena. For me, Pietro was gone. But you still have a light at the end, and Natasha will be so happy to see you again. Think of it as counting down the number of days until you see her again, rather than the number of days you spent without her,” Wanda said as she laid a comforting hand on the blonde’s stomach. Yelena flinched ever so slightly at the touch, and Wanda figured she was just surprised by it. Then Wanda remembered what Kate had told her: “just use your powers and you’ll be fine.”

Yelena didn’t say anything in response, but Wanda could see everything that was going through her mind.

I guess this crazy witch lady is right. Natasha will come home safe, and it’ll be the best day ever. But Natasha can’t find out about this. I have to tell her I was fine, and that a crazy witch lady did not comfort me.

“Why do you keep calling me that?” Wanda asked with a smirk. Yelena just looked at the witch, still not saying anything, as she was grateful for her help and kind words, but never wanted to admit that a crazy witch had to comfort her. Before Yelena could have any more sarcastic thoughts in her head, she felt her arms being pulled up over her head and being pinned down by Wanda’s magic. Yelena opened her mouth to say something, out of confusion and shock all together, but couldn’t find the words.

“Yelena, you know I’m right,” Wanda said with a growing grin. Yelena knew that the witch was right, and her words had made her feel much better about Natasha returning safely. However, Yelena was stubborn and would never admit that, especially since she secretly wanted to spend more time with Wanda. Unfortunately for her, Wanda also read her mind right as she thought about wanting to spend more time with her.

“If you wanted to spend more time with me, why didn’t you just ask?” Wanda said as dug her fingers into Yelena’s ribs, getting a squeal before a word out of the blonde. Wanda could tell that Yelena was trying to hold in her laughter, as she usually didn’t laugh freely around anyone except Natasha. “C’mon Yelena, just laugh you know you want to,” Wanda teased. The blonde just shook her head, as Wanda’s fingers moved up into Yelena’s underarms, watching as the blonde struggled to maintain her composure. “What a better way to get you to admit that I’m right and cheer you up?” Wanda said as she started to scribble into Yelena’s stomach, finally getting the stubborn girl to break out into loud laughter. “WAHAHAHANDAHAHA STAHAHAHAP YOUHUHU JEHEHEHEHERK” Yelena cried out, realizing her mistake too late. “What did you just call me? First you call me a crazy witch lady and then a jerk?” Wanda moved towards Yelena’s feet, as she watched the blonde’s eyes widen, confirming what she already knew.

“Before you lose this battle, let me tell you something Natasha told me. She told me that you can’t stand being tickled on your feet.” Wanda said as she wiggled her fingers teasingly towards the blonde’s soles.

Yelena was already giggling and trying to scrunch up her toes to protect herself as much as she could. ‘Nohohohoho dohohohont!” Yelena giggled out before letting out a scream of laughter when Wanda dug into the ball of her foot. She struggled and squirmed as much as she could, but Wanda’s powers were no joke. Wanda glanced over to see a wide smile on Yelena’s face as laughter poured out of her, happy to see the young girl smiling again. “STAHAHAHAHAP PLEHEHEAHEHSE” Yelena begged. “I don’t know, are you cheered up enough? What if I stop tickling you and you stop smiling? We can’t have that can we?” Wanda teased as she lightly tickled the blonde’s toes.

At this point, Yelena was laughing too hard to respond, as she just accepted her fate. “So are you gonna admit I was right?” Wanda said as she moved back up to tickle her sides. Yelena snorted with laughter, but didn’t respond. Despite all the tickling, Yelena was still super stubborn and hated losing to other people. Wanda bent down to blow a raspberry on Yelena’s stomach, as Yelena cried for mercy. “OHOHOHKAYAYAY STAHAHAHP YOUOUOU WEHEHEHRE RIHIHIHIHGHT.” “Are you gonna smile more? Are you all cheered up?” Wanda asked, enjoying this all too much. “YEHEHEHES JUHUHUHST STAHAHAHHAP,” Yelena screamed. Wanda finally stopped tickling her and released her arms, as Yelena pouted out of embarrassment.

“I thought you said you were going to stop being sad,” Wanda said as she squeezed the back of Yelena’s neck, causing her to giggle and scrunch her shoulders up, playfully shoving Wanda’s hands away.

“Thank you for the nice words,” Yelena said shyly, as she was starting to feel more comfortable around the “crazy witch lady.” “I’ll always be here for you Yelena. I know you’ll always go to your sister first, but if you ever need me, I’ll always be here. Always.” Wanda said, pulling the blonde in for a hug. What the blonde didn’t know was that Natasha had been watching them for a bit, as she had come home from her mission.

“I see you took my word of advice about her feet,” Natasha commented smirking as the blonde whirled around with embarrassment, shock, and lovingness all mixed into her eyes. “NATASHA! Why are you telling this crazy witch lady my secrets!” Yelena exclaimed. Natasha just chuckled and walked over to embrace Yelena into a warm hug that was much needed. “I love you so much little one, and I’m so glad to be back with you,” Natasha said with adoration filling her heart as she placed a gentle kiss on the blonde’s head. “I also think she’s a crazy witch lady,” Natasha whispered to Yelena, as the blonde started cackling and the crazy witch lady began to chase both of them down the hall.

#yelena belova #wanda maximoff #ticklish!yelena #ler!wanda #mcu tickle #marvel tickle #marvel tickle fic #natasha romanoff #black widow #kate bishop

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mrpenguinpants · 3 years

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Genshin: Roommate HCs [V1]

To be honest, I just wanted to ramble some more and let my brainworms take over. This is sorta late but Happy Valentine’s everyone! I was gonna post this earlier but this honestly took me a long time to write so I moved it to today.

Once again, this is 90% crack 10% content. Seriously, as much as I love writing this non-serious fics. Why do you people like this?

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Based off my ramblings with Keqing anon: Link

Genshin: Holding Hands [V1]

Genshin: When you’re cold [V1]

Genshin: University AU [V1]

Genshin: Royalty AU [V1]

[Masterlist]

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[taglist] <- if you want to be added, please read this first.

@youaskedfurret @diaxfeliz @wintergreen-aix @kaechu @thegayrubberducky @lovelykittycatmeow @yuunoagivesmelife @dokidokisama @rokipersonal@minakohasmanyhusbandos @strwbrry-lia @tigerpriestess @yuu-yuukurotsuki @hanniejji @mikeysbike @unionwitch @musekala @sunnshiii @stanzastic @akaasea @xoneaboveallx @adoring-ghost @asheseiler @childelover @dilucsz @dai-tsukki-desu @thicmitten @nonniechan @htnicayh @genshins1mpact

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Diluc

What? Diluc has a roommate? Did you blackmail him in living with you? Is that even possible? Did you throw yourself in front of his car because you needed someone to pay for your student loans and the easiest way was to file a lawsuit? In this economy no one would blame you. Diluc seems like such the self-isolated character that would murder his roommate in cold blood but in reality, he act’s detached from the world because he forgot how to socialize and he’s desperately trying to cover it up without choking. That or he’s trying to learn how to astral project. If he could drink away the pain he would but instead he buys 20 packs of grape Kool-Aid and injects it into his veins.

Does not and will not ever have a normal sleeping schedule. You’ll wake up to him working, come back home to him working, and will sleep to him still working. His daily dose of Vitamin D is from the brightness of his screen rather than the sun and he’s filter feeding at this point. It’s concerning. He’s going to crumble and he’s bringing the world down with him. Through the power of tax evasion. But as soon as he needs to walk out into society, he pulls movie magic and looks like perfection. It’s both physically and mentally disgusting.

He’s actually is a really nice roommate to have just so long as you give him space. Great cook and knows to clean up after himself. Though he does have crash and burn days where’s he’s completely out of commission. You could set the entire apartment on fire and he would sleep through it. The entire two weeks are dedicated to zombie eye marathons and then he’ll suddenly collapse and sleep for 46 hours straight. When he wakes up from his hibernation he’s the most groggy and nonsensical person. His life blood is coffee because you keep hiding the 5 hour energy away from him because, you know, life is enjoyable and those cancer bottles will actually kill him.

“University sucks our money out of our bodies faster than our will to live.”

Beidou [Happy Birthday Queen 💕]

Despite her appearance, she’s actually really strong and it scares the piss out of you when you’re doing something or scrolling through your phone mindlessly and you suddenly get your spine re-arranged when she slaps you on the back to ask what you’re doing. Likewise, when she hoists you up and throws you over her shoulder so you come with her on her 3am convivence store raids for alcohol. It’s either you change now or else we’re walking out of the apartment in your t-shirt and no pants self. She can and will carry you under her arm that way. It’s both incredibly attractive and horrifying at the same time.

She’s really friendly and a great talker if you’re alright with her “I must hold you in my arms, fresh prince of bel air style”. It doesn’t matter if you’re taller than her, she’s doing it. She does however, get in a bit of trouble from her rowdiness and you often get noise complaints but Beidou just passes them off to Ningguang and everything is fixed. She has ovaries of steel when neighbors rather confront her personally and she’s ready to 1v1 in the parking lot. You’re trying to desperately hold onto her shirt to stop her from pile driving your neighbors for the third time this week but she’s too strong.

She’s constant party until we die attitude and suffers the hangover in the morning. It’s actually really funny to catch her in her hangover moods because whatever filter Beidou had, which is none, is gone. She really takes “cursing like a sailor” or the next level and the amount of creativity she comes up with is actually impressive. She can be a bit messy but she’s really likeable and always down to go anywhere with you as long as you’ll do the same. It’s a very ride together, we die together situation. You’re my best friend, you’re dying with me. I’ll see you in hell.

“Imma T pose over my dad and then crash the car into the parking garage.”

Kaeya

Kaeya on the surface seems like such a chill roommate. And he is for the most part. But he’s such an ass. Your things are his things, no questions asked. If you just bought a really nice sweater or you had leftover food, that’s his now. He’s innocent until proven guilty even if he’s literally holding your lunch. The pure amount of bullshit he can spit out to convince you that no, he did not pull the fire alarm because he wanted an excuse for not going to work, puts him on Shakespeare level. He’s also very pretty, way too pretty, sir can you share some of your genes?

But aside from that, he’s actually super dependable. You forgot something at home? Sure, he has nothing better to do so he can bring them for you. We’re missing eggs? No problem, he’s just by the store. You’re 95% sure that he just wants to be cheeky and make you thank him for 20 minutes before he actually hands you what you asked for. It’s better for you if you never tell him anything you’re afraid of because Kaeya has no social cues, or more like he throws them out the window, and he’s probably a psychopath.

He’s incredibly private of his room and things despite his attitude towards yours. You’re convinced he either has a secret lab or that’s where he’s storing the bodies. I was the good guy but due to unfortunate circumstances, I need to stab a bitch. But he’s a really good serious talker for those 3am, because everything happens at 3am, talks about life and the meaning of the universe. It absolutely wrecks your sleep schedule but some of the things you talk about are the most crackhead things like what’s the lowest amount of money someone would have to pay you to walk outside without clothes? It’s a legitimate question.

“Never before have I been so offended with something I 100% agree with.”

Jean

Okay, what world did you save in a past life to live with his absolutely wonderful woman? Mother Teresa take a load off, take a seat. You have nothing to worry about. She’ll bring home little treats back home and it’s the most wholesome thing ever?? Is this what love and affection feels like? We’ve been starved for so long. She says it’s not a big deal and anyone would do it BUT THE MOMENT SOMEONE BUYS FOOD FOR YOU. IT’S A MAGICAL MOMENT. They are forever stuck in your will until proven otherwise. An absolute ray of sunshine that must be protected.

She does get super busy so you don’t often see each other or get to hang out as much. She’s a bit of a workaholic but a lot more easier to talk her into taking a break. She’s also a pretty decent cook but she prefers baking and jesus christ, girl can you calm down? Be still my beating heart, I’ve been smitten. Has mother hen vibes that you’re not sure if she’s your roommate or if she adopted you into her family. It’s time to start a petition for the Jean protection squad. Given the opportunity, I would aggressively hold your hand.

She’s always open to whatever you want to do. Any recommendations or things that you like she will try out at least once despite her busy schedule. She’s lowkey lonely because work consumes her so any time you want to hang out or do something together, she jumps on it like she’s feral. She get’s a bit shy to ask if she can join in on your plans because she doesn’t want to bother you or intrude no matter how many times you tell her that’s okay, she still get’s a bit iffy about it. Please save this girl before she trips. In your arms. Platonically. Just kidding haha. Unless?

“I can’t wait to see you happy and not hating everyone again haha.”

Childe

First impressions of Childe were great, until he opened his mouth and you realized how much of a two brain cell child(e) he was. He has two braincells because they constantly have to 1v1 in his brain. He’s lived with a lot of siblings so he has no social awareness or concept of privacy that you’re lucky if you come home and he’s half-dressed. It doesn’t matter if you’re 2 weeks older than him, he’s going to call you 82 years old and why your bones aren’t being fossilized at this point. He’s such a little shit, this fucker licks the yogurt lid peel.

He get’s really restless when he’s stuck under house arrest, because apparently 1v1ing in the parking lot of a Wendy’s is illegal for some reason, so he makes dying whale noises until he get’s to go outside again. But he’s actually a really wholesome guy, probably because of his younger siblings, that he’ll sometimes get you something because you seemed down and it’s such whiplash? Who is this man and where did he come from? You’re starting to have a change of heart before he tells you that he got banned from the library for accidently punching the school’s computer. How you “accidently” punch something you have no idea but Childe always comes home with some sort of injury. Maybe he’s just incredibly clumsy. For your sanity, you’re going to go with that.

He’s actually so uncultured that it’s crippling. You can’t blame him too much considering his upbringing and it’s great that he’s so interested in learning new things but...child no...It makes you want to take your spine out of your ass and rip it like a Beyblade. Watching him take chopsticks and stab his food like it’s marshmallows makes you want to fall into a blackhole and let the chair consume you.

“I, too, fantasize about beating the living shit out of people.”

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Is this another tag yourself game cause I resonate with Diluc. I’m crying in insomnia. As much as I enjoy writing these fics I absolutely hate tagging them. I remember I used to have a tag anon but that was back when I wrote for bnha.

Valentine’s Day was fun tho. I had a drinking game with friends as we played league then ended it off with a movie night.

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randomshyperson · 3 years

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Sorry for your loss - “I will move on” #04

Read on AO3 || Serie Masterlist here

Summary: When your wife Natasha passes away in a car accident, a part of you dies with her. It takes a few months of mourning for your psychiatrist thinks the best alternative is for you to join a grief group. And there you meet Wanda Maximoff, and learn to live again.

Warnings: (+16) mentions of death, panic attacks and anxiety, grief, self sabotage, mentions of abusive family background, mutual attraction pining, explicit consent, therapeutic conversations about death, self-deprecation, healthy methods of coping with grief, possible triggers about anxiety, domestic Wanda, hurtful behaviors.

Tag list: @imapotatao / @aimezvousbrahms/ @ensorcellme/ @helloalycia / @mionemymind / @abimess / @stephanieromanoff / @yourtaletotell / @tomy5girls / @justagaypanicking / @thegayw1tch / @idek-5

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Chapter Four - I will move on

"And I guess that's about it." You say as you finish telling Agatha about your last few weeks. She smiles as she shakes her head.

"I have to say I am proud of you." She comments gesturing briefly with her hands. "Are you sure you don't want to add anything else?"

You shrug, unable to remember anything relevant that you haven't mentioned.

You told her about writing again, about trying to drive again. About helping Wanda to stay home without having panic attacks, and to go back to work. You had only managed to drive in the supermarket parking lot, but it was still progress, and Stephen was very happy to hear it about too. The only thing missing to get your life back to normal was your apartment. And you had already arranged with Wanda to visit later that week.

"I have two questions for you then." Agatha says when you confirm that you have nothing to add. "Don't you think it's time to try to reconnect with your friends?"

You hesitate, thoughtfully.

"I don't know." You said slightly uncomfortable. "My friends weren't just mine. They were Nat's friends too. And then she died, and I isolated myself. And well, I guess they were in their own grief too, because none of them tried to look for me anymore."

"You took your time to heal." She says. "Maybe they took theirs too. And now might be the time to reconnect."

You sigh, looking away.

"Yeah, I'll think about it." You speak. You look back at Agatha a moment later. "What was the other question?"

Agatha hides a small smile.

"A sensitive topic for patients who lose their beloved lovers." She says and you frown in confusion. "Well, dear, I need to ask if you are trying to date again?"

You gasp in surprise, feeling your face heat up.

"W-what?"

Agatha lets out a giggle.

"I know this may seem insensitive at first, and that's more because of the sexist socioeconomic construct that treats widowed women as violated property that must belong to their lover for the rest of their lives than anything else but I need you to understand that it's perfectly natural to move on." She narrates and you just stand there with a shocked expression and your heart racing. "You are a single woman now, and you have sexual and emotional human needs. I'm going to help you work through any kind of guilt, because judging your progress, you seem ready to be in a relationship again."

"I...I don't..."

"Don't worry, honey." Agatha interrupts with a giggle. "I'm not telling you to go around fornicating." She jokes. "Not that there's anything wrong with that, of course. But I don't think it's really your style at all."

You feel your face heat up, frowning at Agatha, but she continues to speak.

"Anyway, I'm saying that it will be good if you get back into romantic relationships with other people. Casual encounters, that sort of thing. You are allowed to love someone again, there's nothing wrong with that." She explains getting up toward her own desk, and then gives a mischievous little smile in your direction. "Not to mention that orgasms are great stress relievers."

You choke in surprise, but Agatha just smiles, turning to write the appointment report.

Your face is still very red when you leave her office.

//-//

"I'm going to make a gardener out of you yet, huh?" Monica joked as you finished composting, making you laugh lightly.

"Well, I had a good teacher." You joked back as you stood up.

You were at Wanda's flower shop again. It became routine for you to help Monica with the garden and the flowers. And as the days went by, you got used to being in the greenhouses while she was attending to customers and Wanda was working in the office. It took two weeks for Monica to start joking that you had become a staff member at the flower shop. You don't really mind helping out. Botany has turned out to be something surprisingly relaxing for you. The hours of Wanda's shift passed by quickly when you keep your hands busy with the plants and flowers, your anxiety long forgotten.

"Are you hungry?" Monica asks as soon as you return to the store's front desk, and she pulls out the " break" sign tucked under the counter.

"Sure."

"Let's take a lunch break. See if Wanda wants to join us while I attend that boy." Monica says looking forward toward the window display. There is a boy clearly unsure about whether or not to enter the store and you exchange a chuckle with her before heading towards Wanda's office.

She is on the phone when she answers the door for you, and signals with her finger in her mouth for you not to say anything as she makes room for you to enter. As she mumbles in agreement on the call, you look around. She seems to be working on the organization of some big event judging by the whiteboard in the corner filled with notes, and you figure it's a party or some wedding, because you and Monica have been growing more flowers for this kind of thing lately.

"That sounds pretty good, actually." You listen to her speak as she jots down a few things in an agenda. " Don't worry, we have enough for the engagement party and the ceremony."

The shelf on the side in front of the whiteboard catches your attention, and you walk over to the furniture next.

Wanda moves a little behind you, adding some stickers to the whiteboard. You keep looking at the bookshelf, distracted by the objects on it. There is a picture of the twins that makes you smile, some books, and other small pots of plants. You lightly caress the bonsai before looking down.

You run your fingers over the red flower on Wanda's bookshelf, trying to remember the name. Monica has taught you many things, but you don't know many as well.

"Anthurium" Wanda whispers behind you, as she turns off her cell phone and realizes that you are looking at the flower with curiosity. You murmur in understanding, turning to make comment that it is very beautiful, but your speech dies in your throat when you realize how close Wanda is. "What did you want?" She asks curiously and you are almost leaning your body against the bookshelf, trying to think clearly.

"I-I came to ask if you want to have lunch with us." You say while mentally telling yourself not to look at Wanda's lips.

Wanda murmurs in understanding, and you can barely breathe when she stands even closer, her hand outstretched to something above your head. She pulls out a small stick caught in your hair, and all you can do is stare at her with a racing heart as she bites back a smile, and tosses the stick into one of the vases on the shelf behind you.

"I'd like to join you, but I'm busy." She says and her gaze falls to your lips for a second before she turns her head away and walks off. You let out a breath, wiping your sweaty hands on your pants as Wanda walks toward the table in search of the notepad and pen she was using before hanging up her cell phone. "Can you please bring me something to eat? I'm starving. I just don't know exactly what I want..."

You smile as you see Wanda's thoughtful expression with pen and notebook in hand. You approach, putting the notebook down with your hand gently.

"Don't worry, I know what you like." You say simply, and Wanda blinks in surprise, smiling awkwardly. "I'll stop by that confectionery shop you like and also bring you a dessert, okay? You look stressed."

Wanda laughs lightly, her cheeks flushed.

"Thanks, love."

The nickname slips so naturally from her lips that it takes a moment for both of you to realize what has just been said. Your gaze falls to Wanda's mouth the same minute that her pupils dilate. You are almost breaking the distance when Monica opens the door, not noticing the closeness of the two of you because she has her gaze on a piece of paper in her own hands.

You and Wanda immediately turn away, embarrassed.

"We have a big order, girls." She announces excitedly, raising her eyes to you. Monica frowns slightly at the guilty expressions and reddened faces. "Sorry, did I interrupt something?"

"No." You answer in unison quickly, surprising Monica again, who acquires an expression of suspicion and humor. You clear your throat and Wanda lets out a short laugh.

"We were just talking about lunch." You say. "And well, Wanda has a big order too. I guess you guys will need my help then."

Wanda turns to you again with this statement.

"What? No, I can't make you work for me..."

You interrupt with a laugh.

"Wanda, don't even start." You say. "I love staying here. And I'm happy to help, really. Don't worry about it."

"You sure make my shifts more fun." Adds Monica with a smile, making you laugh. Wanda looks at you intently.

"Are you sure?" She asks, and you smile as you nod in agreement. "We'll talk about it later. You can't work for free, and if you're going to help you need a schedule, and breaks and chores."

You laugh, nodding.

"Yes, boss." You murmur playfully and Wanda pats your arm, making you and Monica laugh.

"Let's get our lunch now, I'm starving." Monica orders as she turns to walk out the door. You murmur in agreement, and quickly kiss Wanda on the cheek before following the other woman. Wanda has a foolish smile on her face until you return with her lunch many minutes later.

//-//

You call Carol Danvers the day before you return to your apartment.

Things go much better than you expected, but it's not surprising, because you usually expect the worst case scenario.

Carol is very happy to hear from you, and you are happy to know that she doesn't hate you for not calling before. You talk for a few minutes, but she can't talk much on the phone because her shift is about to start. You are surprised to learn that she is working in a nightclub downtown now, unlike months ago when she worked in a rock bar in Queens.

She tells you that Bruce was traveling because of his internship, but that he would be in town for the weekend, and invites you to visit her at work. You hesitate because you are not sure if you are ready to go to a club, but you accept as you think of Agatha's words about reconnecting with your friends again.

You are the one who drives to your apartment the next day, after you and Wanda leave the flower shop. Your heart is racing the whole time, but Wanda rests her hand on your thigh to calm you down, and as the minutes go by, you can no longer tell whether you are nervous about the trauma or something else.

Parking in the small condo cluster, you take a deep breath. Wanda gives your thigh one last squeeze before she pulls her hand away and gets out of the car, completely oblivious to the way your entire body trembles at her touch. Shaking your head slightly to push that kind of thought away, you step out of the car.

Your hands are shaking wildly as you take your keys out of your pockets, just as you reach the second floor, after you have politely waved to the people who recognized you on the way to your apartment.

"Hey, breathe." Wanda asks softly beside you. And you take a deep breath, and it helps. And then you turn the key, and go inside.

It is exactly the same as the last time you were here, many months ago, on the day of the accident.

Your mother cleaned it up, of course, but it is still the same. Everything is in the exact same place, even the shoes that Nat left lying in the corner of the bookshelf. And you felt your chest tighten when the flashes of memory began.

You walked around, looking at the surroundings while Wanda followed you. A few tears streamed down your face, but you said nothing.

You were in the kitchen when the first sob escaped your throat. Leaning your hands on the counter, you dropped your keys and tried to push away the memories that were clear in your head.

It was as if you could feel Nat in the room. Seeing her in the armchair, laughing at your jokes, or being a disaster in the kitchen on nights when you tried to eat something homemade. Her books mixed in with yours on the bookshelf, your wedding and graduation pictures on the mantelpiece.

You moved away from the counter quickly, however, as Wanda looked at you intently, unsure whether to approach or not. Walking down the hallway, you stopped in front of your bedroom door.

And you stood there. Long minutes staring at the wood. Unable to move.

Feeling arms around your waist, you sighed, your body relaxing considerably.

Wanda hugged you from behind, and waited. You were crying again, and you only stopped after a while. Taking a deep breath, and lightly stroking Wanda's hand to ask her to let go, you waited for her to let go of you to open the door.

Wanda waited for you outside. You just walked around the room, your face wet as you breathed with difficulty, your arms crossed as if you were afraid to touch anything.

When you came out, you took a deep breath once more. And then you said you needed to call your mother.

That's how you spent the rest of the day packing up your apartment together with Wanda, your mother, and Pietro and Monica, who came to help after Wanda said you needed more people.

You came back the other day too, until the only things left were larger pieces of furniture.

"Are you sure you're going to sell?" Your mother asked you in the parking lot as soon as you left there in the late afternoon. Wanda had just gone home with her brother and sister-in-law.

"That was her apartment, Mom." You say as you put the boxes in the trunk. "I could never live here without Natasha."

"It's a good property." She comments, making you chuckle lightly.

"I'm sure the next owners will love it."

"I don't mean to be disrespectful, dear. It's just a nice apartment, not the kind of thing you get every day and..."

"Are you wanting to keep it by any chance?" You interrupt, irritated at your mother's lack of sensitivity. She sighs, and you frown.

"No. But maybe someone else wants to."

It takes a moment for you to understand what she is implying.

"You know Nat didn't talk to her family."

Your mother looks away.

"Actually..." She begins and you close the trunk with a confused expression, "I've been seeing Melina since January."

You blink in surprise, and then let out a dry laugh.

"I am speechless." You say in shock. "You...are you serious? Wow, I...wow."

You lean back against the car, impressed and annoyed. Your mother sighs guiltily, stepping in front of you again.

"Look, I know I should have had something, but you were so..."

"Sad? Yeah mom, my wife died, I had a right to be."

"That's not what I meant."

You sighed, rolling your eyes.

"Yeah, I know." You grumble. "But it sucks that you kept it from me. What the hell does Melina want anyway?"

Your mother looks away for a moment.

"She wanted to see you actually." She says and you let out a wry laugh. "I know how ridiculous it sounds, but her daughter died and you were the only remaining connection to Natasha."

You push your fingers against your forehead lightly, thinking you are starting to get a migraine from this conversation.

"You know what, Mom?" You say. "Since you two have become such good friends lately, tell her that her chance to connect with me was lost the moment she didn't attend the funeral."

Your mother sighs, but you are already turning to get into the car. She follows you a moment later, sitting in the passenger seat.

You drive in silence back home.

//-//

Over the weekend, you almost canceled your plans with Carol.

Your mother was giving you the silent treatment for the way you refused to talk about Natasha and Melina, and you were very irritated by the whole situation.

Grumbling about how ridiculous it all was, you agreed to have coffee with the two women the following week, and your mother's mood changed considerably, the complete opposite of what happened to you.

But you forced yourself to smile, and got up from the couch to get ready.

Around seven-thirty at night, you arrived at the place, which was already very busy, neon lights peeking through the windows along with the loud music.

"My goodness, look at you!" Greeted Carol cheerfully as soon as you met her at the counter. She turned around to hug you tight, and you felt your chest swell with happiness. You had missed your friend so much.

"You got a haircut" You comment in the same excitement, smiling at her. "I missed you, Danvers."

She smiles, mumbling that she missed you too. She asked you to sit on one of the stools at the front of the bar, and you did so while she went back behind the counter.

You updated each other a bit as she served some customers, and a while later, Bruce arrived.

"Banner I can't believe you are wearing a suit in a nightclub." Carol teased as she greeted her friend, making you chuckle slightly as Bruce explained that he didn't have time to look more casual.

"It's good to see you." He said to you as he hugged you, you repeated the words, then sat at the bar.

A few drinks and laughs later, Carol's shift ended, and she sat at a table with you two.

Between telling your friends about your progress in therapy, and hearing how Carol had left her previous job after punching a slacker client in the face, and learning that Bruce was working as an aspiring scientist, and lecturing around the country, the three of you had enough beers for the direction of the conversation to make your cheeks flush.

"I swear to you, she was the most beautiful woman I have ever seen!" Carol told you, making you and Bruce laugh at her excitement.

"Now you're going to say that the next second you saw the next most beautiful woman in the world?" You teased wryly, and Carol laughed as she told you to shut up. "Are you even dating this Gamora girl?"

Carol hid a smirk, taking a sip of her beer.

"Actually." She began. "We're living together."

You widened your eyes in surprise, and then laughed.

"My god, Carol Danvers in love!" You teased making her laugh as she flashed you her middle finger. "No, but seriously, that's amazing! I'm happy for you, Carol."

"Yes, yes." She says smiling, "But what about you? I know you and Nat were like, madly in love or whatever cheesy stuff you put in your books, but it's been months. It would be nice if you met someone new."

The topic is quite sensitive, and the mood at the table changes because of it. But you are far more embarrassed than upset, and you lower your gaze to your bottle before answering.

" Oh, well, i..." You begin half-heartedly. Your stomach does a flip-flop, because you are thinking of a person. "There is someone, I think. But I don't know if we're both ready to take that on yet."

Carol makes an agreeing noise with her mouth, and then has an insinuating little smile on her face.

"Do you still remember how to be with a girl, champ?" your friend teases, and you nudge her shoulder shyly as she and Bruce laugh.

"Aren't those things like riding a bike?" The other man asked timidly, getting a wry look from Carol.

"You know, Bruce, your innocence is admirable." Carol teases making you laugh.

"Don't be mean." You say poking her lightly in the ribs, but Bruce doesn't really care. It's been that way since college when he told you guys he was asexual. The whole thing was funny because Carol has always been very, very sexual. And they have been teasing each other about it for years.

"Ah but I won't be, I promise." She assures. "Actually, I'm much more interested in hearing about your new girlfriend."

You laugh shyly, drinking some of your beer.

"I don't have a girlfriend."

Carol laughed, her gaze running around the room before returning to you.

"Well, that blonde girl has been looking over here for a few moments. I have a girlfriend, and Bruce doesn't like sex. I guess you're the one who's going to have to talk to her."

You widened your eyes at your friend's words, looking forward quickly.

A blond woman was indeed staring at your table.

"I don't think that's a good idea." You mumble clumsily, and Carol gives a little laugh.

"That's too bad, because now that you've looked, she's going to come here." Your friend warns, and you choke on your beer when you see the girl actually getting up from the countertop.

"Carol, help me." You awkwardly whisper but your friend just laughs, and then the stranger catches up with you all.

"Hi." She greets sensually, looking up at you. You swallow dryly as your friend holds back a giggle. "Would you like to dance?"

"I-I..."

"Use your words." Carol teased lowly next to you, making the girl laugh at your clumsiness.

"Don't be shy, I don't bite." The girl added maliciously. " Unless you ask me to."

You feel your face heat up with embarrassment, and you spread your mouth open, not knowing what to say next. Carol murmurs impressed.

"Sorry, sweetie, she used to function better than that." Carol interrupts the interaction, taking pity on your distress. "I think she's taken. But if it's just a dance, we can all enjoy it together."

The girl bites her lips, seeming to consider. She takes one last look at you, and then accepts the invitation.

This is how you end up on a dance floor, trying to escape the hands of a stranger.

You remember how to dance, and the drink helps a lot. But there are hands running over your body before the woman turns around and starts rubbing against you in rhythm with the music. You feel your breath catch, the excitement of having so much intimate contact after so long reaching you completely.

"Are you sure you're taken?" She whispers against your ear, and you give a short laugh, feeling your head spin.

"Yes." You half-heartedly assure her, using all the rest of your drunken control to push her hands away from you.

The woman didn't mind, stealing a short kiss on your cheek before dancing away, swaying her hips.

Carol threw her arms around you next.

"Wow, you really are in love!" She enthusiastically shouts to be heard between the beats of the music. You laugh with flushed cheeks, saying you need to take some air.

Your friend continues to dance, pulling Bruce close, and the man laughs awkwardly as he puts his arms around the blonde. You chuckle at the scene before turning to go outdoors.

It is easier to breathe outside.

Your first action is to take your cell phone out of your pocket, and check your notifications. Your heart melts when you open a message from Wanda. It is a picture of her and the boys, lying together between a comforter. The caption reads "movie night, doesn't even look like they were jumping on the couch two minutes ago".

You stare at the picture for a few seconds after sending a heart emoji to Wanda. And then you gasp softly, realizing. You really are in love with her. Like in romance movies, and fairy tale books. But also like the real thing. Because you love Wanda's company, her sharp jokes, the way she talks and behaves and cares for everyone. You don't want to be in a bar, or meet another girl. You want to be wrapped in a comforter with Wanda and the kids.

Trying not to panic at this conclusion, you put your cell phone back in your pocket, deciding to go back inside to say goodbye to your friends.

//-//

You are trying to find a way to tell Wanda how you feel. The problem is that you are insecure, because you have no idea if she is ready for a relationship again. You don't even know if she likes women.

With so much suffering in the past months, you also don't want to face a broken heart. So you decide to wait and see how things will turn out.

It is something about the way your life is completely intertwined in Wanda's now, in the same way that she has wrapped herself around your heart that makes you sigh when you think about it everything.

You are distracted while you work, and Monica smiles because you have a smirk while tinkering in the gardens, which is clearly not related to the plants. She doesn't say anything, because it's the same way Wanda smiles when you bring her coffee, or when you two come back from lunch. She can only be excited to think how it will be to organize your wedding.

It is at lunch after group therapy that Wanda invites you to her father's wedding anniversary party. You hadn't met him yet, and a party was a good thing, because you wouldn't have all his attention on you, and it lessens your anxiety considerably.

The party will be at Wanda's father's country house, and you will be able to cross the "take a trip" goal off your therapy to-do list.

In the meantime, you prepare to see Natasha's mother.

It is a Thursday, and you set aside your lunch period for this, because you really don't want this meeting to last more than an hour.

Your mother and Melina are already in the restaurant when you arrive, and you nod politely to the woman when you sit down at the table, signaling that she doesn't need to get up.

"So, what did you want?" you ask snidely, earning a scolding from your mother. Melina doesn't seem to mind your aggressiveness however.

"Let's order something to eat first please." Your mother says before the other woman can respond. You roll your eyes, not disagreeing.

After the waitress takes your orders and leaves, you cross your arms impatiently.

"Look, I know it's hard for you to hear from me after all this time..." The woman begins.

"Hard for me?" You cut her off with irony. "No, Melina. I was not the daughter you abandoned. It was just hard for Nat not to have you around. I simply don't like you myself."

"Honey" Your mother warns, but you let out a dry laugh.

"No, really." You continue firmly. "What do you really want with me?"

Melina sighs, straightening herself in her chair.

"Your mother told me that you intend to sell Natasha's apartment." She says. "I don't approve of such a decision."

You stare at her for a moment, and then let out a laugh.

"I should have known you'd only show up for the money." You say feeling your stomach turn with anger. Melina rolls her eyes, but doesn't deny it. Your mother looks surprised that you are right.

"I gave that apartment to Natasha..."

" I beg your pardon?" you interrupt angrily, your loud tone attracting the attention of the next table. "You gave her the apartment? Are you listening to yourself now?"

"We don't need to get carried away." She asked with irritation in her eyes, drawing a nasal laugh of indignation from you. "You know I'm right."

"No, Melina." You retort seriously, lowering your tone. "Clarify for me how you can possibly think that putting an apartment full of debt in your daughter's name to escape the state, making her work two shifts to pay for everything, sets up like giving an apartment to someone?"

"You are manipulating the facts." She hits back and you nod in disbelief, closing your eyes momentarily. "I had financial problems, and Nat didn't object when I suggested..."

"She was 15." You cut in. "You forgot that little detail right? You also forgot about going to the guardianship board to emancipate your 15 year old daughter just so she could take on a debt of yours?" You asked angrily. "Oh, did you forget about Nat working in a diner throughout her teenage years to pay for everything?"

Melina clenched her jaw, glaring at you angrily. You really weren't in the least bit of patience for this conversation, and it was a good thing the waitress arrived with your orders, because you were about to turn the table.

"I am not hungry anymore." You grumble as soon as the waitress leaves and you look down at your food, your stomach turning. Then you look forward. "When I sell the apartment, I will talk to your lawyer and if you are entitled to anything, you can rest assured that it will come in the mail. Now do me a favor, and never look for me again."

After saying these words to Melina, you exchange a quick glance with your mother and get up, walking to the exit.

//-//

You are pretty upset about the whole Melina thing, but your mood improves almost immediately when Wanda invites you to visit her.

Actually, she needs help with the kids, because she's busy with a rich lady's wedding that required priority on the flower project, and the summer vacation started that week.

Monica was helping Wanda with the whole design, so you and Pietro would take care of the kids.

It was quite fun to do it, because you loved children. Pietro even had the bright idea of setting up a little lemonade stand outside Wanda's house, and while the other women were working, you and he took the kids outdoors.

"Don't you think a million dollars is a lot of money for a glass of lemonade, Billy?" you ask the boy as you watch him put several zeros on the price cardboard. Pietro laughs as he helps his daughter pin up her hair.

"I don't know." The kid tells you without stopping drawing. "I'm a kid, I've never paid anything."

You laugh, looking forward. You and Pietro are sitting on chairs placed on the grass while the children play around the lemonade stand.

When some of the neighbors buy the lemonade, you tell Billy that a gold coin is worth a million, and he doesn't argue.

The temperature rises considerably throughout the day, and around two in the afternoon you and Pietro decide that it would be good to take the kids swimming.

"Call the wives please." Pietro says to you as you stand in the living room after you two walk back in and put everything away, and he is helping the children put on bathing suits. You feel your face heat up at the innocent insinuation of Wanda being your wife, but you say nothing and he doesn't even seem to notice.

You knock on the door, then enter the office, and smile at the two women inside, who seemed to be concentrating on their own papers.

"Let's go for a quick swim girls?" You ask, ignoring the way your stomach gets butterflies when Wanda looks up at you.

Monica lets out an excited exclamation.

"Yes, please!" She says. "This room feels like an oven!"

You and Wanda laugh, and you make room for Monica to walk past you.

"Any chance you have a bathing suit in my size?" You ask Wanda next, and she bites back a smile, thoughtful.

"Let 's find out."

//-//

It is only upstairs that you realize that you have never been in Wanda's bedroom before.

All the times you have been here, you were reserved for the living room, the kitchen and the office. Except for the times you were in the twins' bedroom, and well, when you used the bathroom.

You stood still a bit past the entrance, not knowing exactly what to do with your hands as Wanda searched the closets for a bathing suit for you.

"You know you can look around right?" Wanda commented with playfulness in her speech, making you chuckle shyly.

Stepping forward, you twiddled your fingers together nervously as you looked around. You smiled at the decorations, and especially at the pictures on the dresser.

"Damn, I think I only have one pair." Wanda grumbled as she closed the closet, turning to you next, a swimsuit in her hands. "Do you want to wear it?"

You smiled wryly.

"Not if it's the only one you have." You say. "Don't worry, I'll keep my T-shirt on."

"Don't be silly, it's really hot outside. I'll lend you a bra."

Wanda leaves her swimsuit on the bed and walks over to the dresser behind you. You step aside to give her room to open the drawers.

You look quickly away from the underwear drawer, feeling your heart race at the intimacy of this moment. It only gets worse when Wanda hands you a black sports top, which she is glad to have found.

"Thank you, Wands." You mutter as you accept the garment.

You widen your eyes as Wanda begins to unbutton the shirt she is wearing, but before you have a heart attack, she flashes you a small smile and picks up the swimsuit from the bed, turning toward the bathroom as she uses her free hand to keep the shirt closed.

You take advantage of Wanda's exit to quickly take your shirt off, put on the top and then the T-shirt over it.

A moment later she returns, and your breath catches in your throat.

"This swimsuit has a tie in the back, can you help me with that?" Wanda asks distractedly as she tucks her hair into a bun. You swallow dryly, trying to keep your gaze off her exposed legs.

Wanda stands facing the dresser, watching you approach through the mirror. You ignore your uncompensated heartbeat as you stare back at her, and let out a shy smile as you lower your gaze when you notice her flushed cheeks as you stand right behind her.

Raising your fingers to the height of her back, you gently touch the skin exposed by the opening of her swimsuit. The contact makes every inch of the woman's skin shiver in front of you, and she sighs softly, the sound making your stomach turn.

You risk looking forward again, at your reflection, only to find Wanda's mouth ajar, her eyes dark. You risk dragging your fingers further inside the fabric, making her choke lightly.

Completely mesmerized by the way Wanda's body responds to your touch, you raise your other hand, trailing a finger up from the length of her coccyx to the opening of her swimsuit, watching Wanda close her fists as her cheeks redden.

You can hear the sounds of her uncompensated breathing, but you can also hear the muffled laughter from the distance downstairs, and that motivates you enough to ignore the trembling of your fingers as you zip up Wanda's swimsuit.

"W-we should go downstairs." You whisper in a hoarse voice, ignoring the urge to rip off Wanda's swimsuit.

The redhead swallows dryly before slowly turning toward you. Your faces are so close that you can feel her breath on your cheek.

"I..."

"Mommy why are you taking so long?" Billy's muffled scream coming from the backyard through the window makes you and Wanda jump in fright.

Pietro and Tommy repeat the same sentence next, and you clear your throat, taking a step back. Wanda can't keep her gaze on you as you both walk down to the pool outside.

You can only distract yourself from the feel of Wanda's skin on your fingers because you play in the pool with everyone, and these thoughts are pushed to the back of your mind for the rest of the afternoon.

It is only when you have to leave, after the children have had a bath, and are dressed in comfortable clothes in front of the television, and you have hugged Monica and Pietro goodbye that these thoughts come flooding back when you have to repeat the gesture with Wanda.

You disguise yourself, smiling politely at the couple standing behind the redhead as you let your arms circle her waist as you hug her. Resisting the urge to close your eyes and sink your face into Wanda's neck, who has her hands on your shoulders, you hold back a sigh as you pull away.

"See you on Monday." You murmur in a husky voice, and the redhead nods, her gaze falling quickly to your lips.

You think you'd better get in the car before you lose control of your body.

//-//

Startled slightly, you opened your eyes with difficulty. Someone was calling you, but it must have been very late, because you couldn't see anything in the room but the blinking light on your dresser.

Grumbling, you stretched your arm out to reach for your vibrating cell phone and answer the call.

"Hello?" you asked in a voice hoarse from sleep, closing your eyes again.

"Hey, sorry to wake you." It was Wanda, and her whiny voice made you open your eyes quickly, worried.

"Wanda? Did something happen?"

"Yeah." She agrees, sniffling softly. "I just... I'm so sad. The whole fucking time. Then Tony came over and started saying these things and now I'm crying and I can't stop. I'm sorry, it's not your problem, I shouldn't have called and..."

"I'm coming."

You think Wanda tried to say something to stop you, but you ended the call as you stood up.

"Where are you going?" Your mother asked as soon as you came downstairs, and you were startled to find her awake, but you didn't ask as you noticed the laptop in your lap.

"Wanda." You mumble simply, looking for your keys.

"Kitchen countertop." She informed and you muttered a thank you as you picked up the item from the mentioned spot. "You know, if you're going to start leaving the house at dawn to see her, it might be best to move in with her."

You chuckled awkwardly at the comment as you put on your shoes.

"Try to get some sleep, work will still be there in the morning." You tell her to change the subject, and your mother sighs, turning her attention back to the screen. "You don't have to wait up for me."

"Oh, I figured." She teases last making you roll your eyes in embarrassment before opening the door to leave.

//-//

You didn't have to knock on the door, because as soon as you parked the car and got out, you had a view of the outside garden porch, and you could see Wanda sitting on the rocking bench, looking at the ground.

You sighed, opening the garden gate to enter the backyard.

Making a noise with your feet so as not to startle her, you felt your heart squeeze as she wiped her tears away quickly, turning her head to the side. You sighed, taking a seat on the bench in front of her, rocking it slightly.

"Do you want to talk about it?" You asked a moment later, and from the redhead's silence, you figured not. But she nodded next, looking down at her own feet. "Tell me what happened then."

It takes a moment, but Wanda speaks. She tells how Tony Stark showed up at her door at three in the morning, saying that he blamed himself for his brother death but that this was a good thing now because it was exactly what he needed to change his life and stop drinking, and that she punched him in the nose, saying that this was always his problem, everything was always about him. Tony promised that he would be someone decent now, that he was going to change, and Wanda just pushed him away, telling him to go change somewhere else.

"I feel like the worst person in the world right now." She grumbles as soon as she finishes narrating.

"Why?"

"Tony has been an alcoholic since he was fifteen, and he's finally getting better. I think he was in need of someone to help him."

You shook your head, letting out a short laugh.

"And why is that your problem?" you retorted, surprising her. "Wanda you are under no obligation to suppress your feelings to make others feel better. You have every right to feel angry with Tony. And to not want him in your life again."

Wanda takes a deep breath, burying her face in her hands for a moment, as if trying to believe your words.

You bit the inside of your cheek, deciding whether to speak what you wanted to.

"Wands?" You called after her, and she looked at you. "You said you were sad. Do you want to talk about that too?"

The redhead looks away from you, a weak smile on her lips.

"I don't know how to talk about it really." She starts by looking down at her feet. "I never did."

You wait, stretching your leg out and lightly tapping your feet together with her on the floor. Wanda smiles at the movement, and then bites her lips.

"I think it started when I was a kid." She counters thoughtfully, her gaze straying to the yard around her. "Ever since mama died, or maybe before. There's this sadness, stuck in my chest. And no matter what I do, it won't go away."

You listen intently, waiting for Wanda to finish.

"When I was younger, Papa worked all day and Mama took care of me and Pietro. But she got sick, and granny came to live with us to help. I was ten when she died, and Pietro's anxiety got worse." She swallows dryly, as if the memories are choking her. "Granny didn't know how to help my brother, so I took care of him myself. And when we were in high school, she got sick too. And well, Dad didn't know what to do really, so I took care of her at home while he and Pietro worked to pay for the medications." She adds, and sniffles lightly. "I just remember being tired. All the damn time. I'd go to school, and come home, and I'd eat, and play, and watch TV, but I wasn't really there. I started to think that's how everybody else felt, because I had a normal life, and I had no reason to feel sad."

You frown slightly, but bite your tongue to keep from interrupting.

"Grandma died just before I graduated, and I barely had time to miss her, busy with college applications, and taking care of the funeral at the same time." She counters with a wry laugh, as if realizing how unfair it was that she was left to take care of everything by herself. "And then I met Vis, and he was sweet and kind and he was everything anyone could want. The perfect boyfriend, perfect friend, and brother and husband. So I choked down that sadness, because it wasn't fair that I was with someone so amazing, and I wasn't satisfied." She recounts as she lets the tears flow. "When the twins came, everyone told me that my life was complete. That children were exactly what everyone wanted, and that I had the perfect life. So I kept that image."

Wanda raises her hand to wipe away a tear that ran down her cheek, but others kept falling next.

"With Vis's death, everything started to fall apart on me." She says after a pause, biting her lips slightly to hold back the crying. She lets out a nasal laugh next. "But I wasn't going to let that happen, so I gathered the pieces together. I put a smile on my face and continued to be the mother my children needed. And then I met you."

You frown in confusion, but Wanda does not look at you. She runs her hands through her hair, shaking her head slightly.

"You came into my life at its worst possible moment. And all you did was make me feel better again." Wanda declared with a sigh, and you felt your cheeks heat up, looking away to your feet. "You don't expect me to be happy, or polite, or sociable. You don't care that I get cranky and irritable, that I wanted to skip work or eat junk food." She counters, wiping a tear from her cheek. "I feel like I can breathe again, because when you look at me you don't judge me like everyone else. You just listen, and observe. And take care of me."

You sigh, impacted by the intensity of the confessions. You think that if you keep quiet long enough, Wanda can hear your heart beating fast.

The redhead takes a deep breath, twisting her fingers slightly before speaking again.

"That's why I called." She counters in a sigh. Her eyes fill with tears again, but she doesn't let them fall. "You've been the only person who makes me feel this way. And when Tony came along I felt I was drowning into those terrible thoughts again. I needed you to pull me back up."

You raise your head to Wanda, but she is looking down at the floor, her cheeks flushed. You smile, rising to sit beside her.

"I will." You whisper as you interlace your fingers, looking forward. Wanda stares at your entwined hands before leaning her head on your shoulder.

"Thank you." She murmurs a moment later.

"Don't mention it." You reply in the same tone.

You stand like this for many minutes, Wanda wiggling your fingers together. You are about to close your eyes when a childish voice startles you a little.

"Mommy?" it's Billy, dressed in adorable teddy bear pajamas, scratching his eyes sleepily. "Why are you out here?"

Wanda looks at him in surprise.

"Come here dear." Wanda asks signaling with her free hand for Billy to approach. The boy yawns, walking over to you two. You mess up his hair as Wanda releases her hand to sit her son on her own lap.

"Why are you here, Y/N?" The boy asks sleepily, making you and Wanda smile at how cute he looks.

"I am a friend of your mother's, Billy, I come whenever she needs me." You reply with a smile, trying not to be affected by the way Wanda looks at you.

"You should come more often, y/n. Mom is happy when you are around." Billy declares causing Wanda to let out a surprised exclamation, and you feel your heart race.

"Oh, really?" You tease with a little smile, and Wanda pushes her shoulder against yours lightly. "I promise I'll visit more often then."

"You can live here!" Billy exclaims excitedly next, making you laugh in surprise.

"Don't be silly, Billy." Wanda adds embarrassed. "We don't have a room."

"She can sleep with you mommy." Billy retorts as if it's obvious, "Daddy's not here anymore, and your bed is too big, because it fits Tommy and me together!"

You swallow dryly, surprised and embarrassed at the way Billy is casual above all, but mostly worried that this comparison might have hurt Wanda. But she lets out a little laugh, shaking her head.

"It's time for bed, enough of this talk" Wanda warns the boy next, getting up with him on her lap.

You accompany the two of them into the house, waiting until Wanda comes downstairs after putting Billy to bed.

Billy's words in your head were still echoing when Wanda suggested that you sleep in her bed after she came downstairs, and part of you wanted to, but you figured that night wasn't the best time. So you slept on the couch, and left after breakfast, ignoring how warm your chest felt at the image of the table with Wanda and the twins having coffee.

//-//

Your first stop after leaving Wanda's house was the cemetery.

Taking a deep breath, you stared at the memorial stone in the ground. The small photograph of Natasha carved into the stone.

"I miss you, pchelka" You whispered softly, leaving your hands in your pockets as you looked down. Your chest hurt less than the first time you came here, but the pain was still there. You imagined that it always would be. "I won't ever stop. But I want to live again. I hope you won’t be mad at me, from wherever you are, and understand that."

Part of you knew that Natasha would be happy for you. It was one of the reasons you loved her so much.

Kneeling down, you pulled out of your pocket the items you had left in the car's glove box a few days ago, planning to do this since the day of the bar.

" This belongs to you." You whispered, after digging in the grass next to the headstone, and pulling out of the small wrapping your wedding rings. You placed the metal in the dirt, along with the daffodil seeds you brought with you. Using some of the water from the bottle you had in your hands, you watered after burying the items. "Rest in peace, my love."

#wanda maximoff #wanda x reader #wandaxyou #wanda maximoff x reader #wanda x you #wanda x yn #wanda maximoff x you #marvel imagines #sorry for your loss

339 notes · View notes

enhyupn · 3 years

Text

start of it!

pairing: jungwon x fem!read (ft a little sunghoon)

disclaimer: there might be a few mistakes here and there since it’s not fully proof read. swear words are mentioned too!

word count: 7.1k+

genre: fluff, angst if you squint, best friends to lovers!au, rich kids!au, slow burn kinda?

a/n this took a while to write but i like how it came out :) i think i got a little carried away but it’s fine i suppose!! i hope you enjoy this longer than necessary fic :]

jungwon and you were always together, then and now. maybe being the children of two most influential families korea helped that, the constant underlying jealousy between the two families made for some interesting dinners. you two were the stereotypical rich kids, top of the class, class president and extremely involved in school. your image was the type other chaebol families would use to compare their children to. maybe that’s why every time you stand at the top of your class to make announcements, all you get are sneers from your classmates as they not so subtly laugh at you. it was inventible nonetheless, if you were in their situation you’d do exactly the same. it didn’t help that you were strict and blunt with your classmates, staying true to the cold and distant chaebol child stereotype.

jungwon the next class over however, was incredibly popular with the people in his class and even yours. you didn’t know how he did it, balancing his studies, taekwondo and still maintaining a good relationship with his class? you looked up to him immensely, even with your parents constantly reminding you that jungwon wasn’t your friend but a pawn from his family to get information on the company. obviously you never believed them, how could jungwon get information from you when all you talk about normal things. normal things like tv shows, books and his taekowndo matches. you wouldn’t know what to do with jungwon, he was your other half and you’d never be able to function properly without him.

dinner was never comfortable at your house, the silence only being broken up by the clattering of utensils and chewing didn’t even help the gloomy and dark aura your father always seemed to radiate. you were the only child and the heir in training to take over the family company. everyone around you had high expectations for you, being number one in everything you ever did allowed people to believe that you were going to skyrocket your family’s company to the number one spot.

“y/n, how was school” your mother always tried so hard to make conversation with you and your father every day. as much as you wished to be close to her, you couldn’t help but feel forced and awkward whenever you replied to her.

“it was good, we got our ranks today” you slowly chewed on the piece of duck you were served, not having the heart or energy to tell anyone that you never really liked the taste of it.

“i’m assuming it’s first place” your father butts in, the serious look in his face never fails to make you flinch in your seat.

“yes father, first place in my class and in school” you couldn’t help but gulp at the mood of the dinner table.

it was always like this after exam season, tension so tight that it was suffocating to be around. even the maids and butlers around the place hated being around your family every time results were announced, the thought of what would happened if you ever got anything lower than first place was terrifying.

“wonderful” a nod from your father was enough for your maids to stop holding in their breaths.

not even a good job? you had grown to learn that your father wasn’t someone that praised others easily. sadly, you had to learn it the hard way. countless memories from your past of you desperately wanting your father’s attention and praise flashed through your eyes. even so, it still hurt every time he wouldn’t acknowledge your achievements.

the ice rink was your special place, second to jungwon undoubtedly. still, you loved being there. it made you feel so free and happy, like all your worries had disappeared whenever you skated. you weren’t the only one that loved the rink, jungwon adored the moments when you would show off a new move you had finally nailed. the look of you being so carefree made him feel overjoyed, knowing he was the only one that could see you like this.

“jungwon did you see that?” a radiant smile appearing on your face after you landed an axel. the sound of your slightly hitting the rink’s barrier slightly scared you before looking up again at the boy.

“yes, and i’ve also seen the other five times you’ve done it” the pout formed on your face from his teasing only brought a larger smile on his face. jungwon’s face suddenly twisted into a confused look as he suddenly remembered a conversation you two had the previous week. “weren’t you struggling on that last week? i remember you telling me that”.

“oh i was!” the pink tinge from your cheeks due to the cold temperature in the air added to your cheerful chatter. “but sunghoon helped me with it”.

“sunghoon?” the name sending an unsettling feeling throughout jungwon’s body. the boy shook it off when he had made eye contact with you once again, your eyes wide with spirit. it was a shame that your classmates couldn’t see this side of you, the cold and scary y/n unironically melting when on the ice.

“sunghoon’s a really talented figure skater in my class!” the admiration in your voice and eyes churned things in jungwon’s stomach. “his triple axel is the most beautiful thing jungwon, you should really see him in action. he gave me some tips and they really worked!”.

“that’s great” jungwon couldn’t understand why he couldn’t feel as elated as you were. shouldn’t he be happy? his best friend perfectly landed something they were working on for a while and he couldn’t even be sincere with his praise? no, it was that boy sunghoon. that’s what was getting him annoyed and bothered, was it jealousy?

“look there he is!” you showed jungwon. the boy had proportions that were perfect, he towered over you and had undeniably incredible looks. jungwon watched as sunghoon’s eyes shined in delight when noticing you. the boy skated over quickly to you in excitement, anyone could tell that he was over the moon to see you.

the jealous feeling jungwon had in him only grew more watching you two. when sunghoon’s skates accidentally took him at a too fast of a pace, you lightly bumped into you. the countless apologies he spit out while you laughed loud and glowing at his ridiculous accident only made jungwon chew his cheek in spite. the unnecessary skin ship you two made didn’t help too, you were holding onto sunghoon’s shoulders in an attempt to stop him from falling again. that’s when jungwon had enough.

“y/n” he called out, catching the attention of the both of you. you turned around holding the same smile you gave sunghoon.

“jungwon?”

“i’ll get going now, dad wants me back home” a pretend smile placed nicely on his lips for you to not suspect something was wrong with him.

“sure!” the corner of your eyes crinkled, you lifted up your hand to wave him off. he was incredibly thankful that you weren’t observant enough to catch his cheerful facade. “tell him my father wants to have dinner with him again too!”.

“i promise”

standing from his seat he lifted his hand to wave you off. the disappointment in his eyes becoming more visible when he realised that you had already turned around. the dejected frown on his face showing up when he caught a glimpse of the boy beside you, laughing and chatting with you with a wide grin. you too having the exact same grin.

you were always the same at school, a blank face while in class and during after school activities. your parents always told you that school was never the time to make friends or have fun, it was for preparing yourself in the future. they drilled into you that everything you did in school would only add to you in the future. if you were to ever fail or do anything that was the opposite of what you were meant to be doing, you would inevitably ruin your future. the unimaginable amount of pressure your parents had given you slowly turned you from crying silently at night in your room to dealing with it with a blank stare on your face.

the only thing that made everything the slightest bit bearable was jungwon, you met him during breaks and lunch and even walked with him to your after school programmes. the feeling of being isolated by your class could only be ignored when you were with him.

“i don’t get how you do it” you stared at him in admiration. jungwon was practicing his taekwondo as you watched him, it was a routine you had every morning before school started. the boy chuckled as he continues doing his warm up.

“says you, you’re number one in our school plus you skate pretty too. everyone would love to be you”.

“no! that’s different” a growing blush tinted your cheeks, the small compliment makes you shy due to the fact jungwon never compliments you. “i don’t get how you balance taekwondo, your social life and still get good grades? plus have a good relationship with your family”.

“oh” jungwon’s smile faltered at the mention your parents. he always has felt guilty knowing the fact he can’t do anything to help you besides distract you from your parent’s extreme expectations. “i don’t know, maybe i’m just lucky” he tries a joke to keep the mood up.

“so it’s luck?” your laugh giving enough confirmation to jungwon that you weren’t affected by his comment.

your phone ringing distracts you from the conversation you and jungwon were having, even scaring you a little in the process. the bright expression coming from your face made jungwon notice that it definitely wasn’t a call from any of your family members. letting himself breathe again with the positive mood in the air, he decides that he needs to stretch before testing out any moves.

“sunghoon!” suddenly maybe the mood wasn’t so positive for jungwon. you turned to jungwon mouthing it’s sunghoon! happily as he tried to share the same excitement you had. “no i’m not busy”, you looked over at jungwon sending him an apologetic look as you stood up from your seat. “i’ll just be outside jungwon!” you covered the microphone as you told him before quickly walking outside.

what was that about? jealousy was creeping up behind him even if he didn’t notice. he never wanted to feel possessive when it came to you. truthfully, he was waiting for this day. the day that someone saw past your shy personality disguised with a cold and blunt front and saw you. he couldn’t stop the lingering feeling in his stomach, he hated it. but who was he to think about your relationships with other people?

that’s when he remembered the smile on your face when you mentioned him, the glee in your voice and expression when you were around him. you two were even close enough to call each other out of nowhere? maybe that’s when it clicked in jungwon’s head, did you like sunghoon? you were entitled to like anyone you wanted to, it shouldn’t be jungwon’s problem if that person just so happened to be sunghoon.

but why did the thought bother jungwon so much?

from the way you were dressed people would think that you were attending some special dinner with the president. however, your prettily styled hair and your best outfit and shoes seemed to only be reserved for the yang family. there always seemed to be an unwritten rule between the two families that you had to go all out when visiting each other, however you and jungwon just suspected if it was just a way to show off all the newest jewellery and clothes subtly.

there you two were, standing by the side of your parents in the hallways of your house. the size of it was unimaginable, maybe even being the length of an average apartment in a middle class area. the hallways was adorned with expensive paintings and sculptures being used to write off taxes, a large rug that might of costed more than your high school tuition placed right in the middle of it all. it was visible proof that your family was disgustingly rich, just how your parents wanted it to look.

there wasn’t an answer to why the two families stood in the hallways to speak when you had an equally, if not larger living room a door away, the room also being adorned with expensive paintings with a large tv nobody in the house used. jungwon and you always had trouble staying serious while your parents spoke to one another. you two would usually mouth things to each other, not even understanding what was being said. the small grins you two held were enough that if one of you let out a laugh, the two of you would be on the ground laughing your heads off.

“the food’s ready” your cook interrupted your father’s reply to jungwon’s parents. your father sent him a small grin and a nod as he signalled everyone with a extended arm to the dining room.

the dining room gave a view to the kitchen, it was like a performance for everyone in the kitchen whenever you had guests over. your favourite activity to not bore yourself besides talking to jungwon, was watching your cook plate everything while your parents conversed about business or what type of wine they were having that night.

“steak again” jungwon joked quietly at your side. you two always sat beside each other, while the parents talked the whole night you two would try and not cause a huge mess. it usually ended up a mess, remembering the time you two dropped roast potatoes all over the ground in an attempt to entertain to each other. now when you two are finished eating you are excused to go back to your room where you two can actually talk.

“be thankful it isn’t salmon” you giggled quietly. the memory of jungwon’s parents scolding him at the dinner table for not eating his salmon reappears back into your heads, the thought of it making you laugh a little louder than you were. “sorry” you politely said, noticing the silent glare your father had sent you for making a ruckus at the dinner table.

“i would of answered properly if you weren’t laughing silently about it in the corner of my eye” the main reason why the memory was so funny for the two of you was the fact that the reason he was scolded was due to the fact he couldn’t even attempt to pick up the piece of fish without you two laughing. you two were incredibly easy to make laugh as there is nothing more entertaining than your best friend doing absolutely nothing.

in the corner of your eye you noticed your father staring at you and jungwon, while at the same time participating in the conversation the adults were having. it was unsettling, knowing that in the next five or so minutes he’d ask you a question regarding anything to seem like his family is better than anything the yangs do.

“y/n” an automatic faux smile was placed on your lips when you heard his voice. placing down your cutlery before turning to him you captured the sickly sweet smile on your parents smiles, a sign they were trying to milk your achievements out one by one.

“yes father” the pitch in your voice going a little higher than what jungwon usually hears, but was used to it due to the many times he’s heard you talk to your parents.

“we were just talking about the fact that you’re starting out figure skating!” the tone in your fathers sudden cheery voice was so obviously fake to you, he never liked the fact you took precious time off to practice figure skating rather than studying to get into a seoul university.

“i am” you turned to the yang parents with the innocent well put child facade. “i started six months ago, my trainer told me that i was improving at a great speed!”.

“how beautiful” jungwon’s mom commented, “i’m sure jungwon’s watched you skate before, right sweetheart?”.

“they’re very graceful on the ice mom” the flattery turned your cheeks a soft rose colour. you turned to him to give a thankful smile, not noticing the growing red on the boy’s ears.

you turned around to glance back once again at your father, the look of his smug grin made you want to get up and leave. you hated feeling like just a trophy to show off to others, you longed for the feeling of being praised for the person you were.

“i’m sure jungwon’s doing excellent in school” your mother continued, looks like they’re about to hit them where it hurts.

“not as well as your daughter i’m afraid” a bitter smile was obviously placed on his father’s face, teeth gritting as he let it out. “jungwon’s told us quite a lot about y/n’s rank in school, number one right? a terrific achievement”.

“yes, it’s a shame that jungwon can’t seem to reach the same” jungwon’s mother continued. your father took a sip from his glass of wine. what was it and using your children as weapons to bring down one another? in the corner of your eye you could tell jungwon didn’t feel comfortable with any of this at all, he stiffened his body as you chewed slowly on his steak.

“he’ll get there some day” your mother was simply just adding fuel to the fire, it made you feel terrible for your best friend. you looked over to see the boy’s blank stare, the small frown on his face made it seem that it was almost begging you to go comfort him.

“can jungwon and i be excused?” you knew that you two needed to get out of there immediately, you weren’t going to let your parents excuse any of this. “i feel a bit queasy from the steak, jungwon can keep me company”.

“do what you wish dear” your father let out quite bitterly. you bowed in response before standing up, placing your hand on jungwon’s hand. you shook it a little as a way to signal him that you two were about to leave.

the oh he let out was all you needed to know that jungwon was going to follow you up to your room. you watched as he bowed for everyone in the room, before silently following you as you gripped onto his hand. the mood you two were letting out was unreadable, was he thankful for you? or was he completely and utterly embarrassed at the fact you did that.

“thank you” he whispered behind you, the warmth in his hand was all you needed to feel the comfort you were longing for at the dinner table.

“don’t sweat it jungwon” a smile forming on your face as you turned towards him. “it was suffocating being in there anyways”. he laughed to himself, understanding what you were saying as you dragged him forwards once you reached your room.

your room was unnecessary big, like every other room in your house. your bed was double the size you actually needed and you had a chandelier hanging from the ceiling. your ceiling also had hand painted flowers decorating it, simply adding to the beautiful chandelier. there wasn’t any expensive paintings or rugs in your room however, just a large vanity as well as a desk and a huge bookshelf with every book imaginable. you also had framed pictures of you and jungwon as children dotted around your room.

“look” jungwon picked up a picture of you two when you were in first grade. you were crying while jungwon was right beside you laughing, beneath you two was a broken sandcastle who you could distinctly tell who it belonged to. “i was so evil as a kid”.

“tell me about it” you looked at the picture in admiration. “i swore to myself that day i would hate you for a million million trillion hundred years” a chuckle left your mouth at the loving memory. memories with jungwon always left you happy, even the ones that weren’t as nice to experience firsthand.

“and this one” he picked up another picture. this time it was you and him maybe around three years ago at your family’s lake house. “you ignored me for the rest of the trip after i did this”. the two of you were on the balcony as he lifted you from the legs up, the scared look in your eyes made it obvious that the whole thing was a surprise. you were fond of that memory, you realised something that day about jungwon you never realised before. the thought of dating your best friend popped up in your head for the first time when that picture was taken. the thought horrified you so much that you ignored him for days on end after, making up the excuse that you were mad at him for scaring you that.

“look at my face oh god” the pink tint coming back to your cheeks remembering the story behind that picture. “that day i started—”. you shut yourself up quicker than expected.

“started what?” jungwon looked at you confused. you start curse yourself in your head for your mistake.

never in your many years of friendship could of prepared you for this. the you three years ago was exactly the same, except the fact that three years ago you found out you had feelings for jungwon and now you were about to accidentally spill the beans about those exact same feelings.

“it’s nothing” you shook your head dismissively . trying to distract yourself, you looked at the corner of your eye and noticed a picture of you two at your middle school graduation. your features softened at the happy grins on your faces, both holding a pretty bouquet of flowers the two of you gave each other. “i love this day so much, look we’re so happy”.

“our graduation?” jungwon moved closer to you to get a good look of the photo. “we look so cute”.

turning around to jungwon with a grin of being reminded of the special, you stopped abruptly. noticing how close he was you stepped back quickly, in a quite panicked manner. his eyes widened noticing your frantic moves, unsure why his stomach was churning at your panicked face.

“sorry” you play with the hem of your sleeve, embarrassed at the fact you were so close to him. you feel you face heating up and you weren’t so sure if you were blushing at the fact his face was almost touching yours or embarrassed by the way you staggered away from him. “you were really close to me”.

“sorry did it make you uncomfortable?” jungwon asked you with a concern expression on his face. you couldn’t tell him the reason you were so panicked was because your crush was so close to you. “i’ll be more careful next time”.

“no! you’re fine” a reassuring smile spread across your face in an attempt to calm him down.

the awkwardness following that incident was undeniable. you sat on your bed unsure what to say to make conversation with him, the problem was that you two usually had a lot to say. the situation right now was not how the two of you usually acted, the voices in your head silently yelling at you for being dramatic at the fact jungwon was so close to you.

jungwon on the other hand couldn’t stop replaying the image of you being so close to him. an unfamiliar feeling kept reappearing in his stomach, he’s never looked at you in this way ever. maybe the feeling sunghoon gave him was similar but at the same, it was far different.

“i don’t think— be careful” in rich kids fashion, jungwon was playing tennis with his equally as rich friend ni-ki, a transfer student in his class studying in korea until he graduates from a seoul university. a big emphasis on seoul due to the fact every rich child in korea have parents almost begging them to get into a seoul university or an ivy league.

the ball accidentally almost hitting jungwon rolls behind the boy, he could feel the exhaustion finally catching up on him from the non-stop moving he had done. he holds a hand up with a drained expression signalling his friend that he was done for maybe another thirty minutes or so.

“as i was saying...” ni-ki walked towards the tired boy holding out a water bottle. he quickly grabbed the drink from him before taking a large gulp, wiping off the excess water from the sides of his mouth. “hey! don’t drink all of that”.

“sorry” an exasperated gasp escaped jungwon’s mouth as he tried to catch up with his breathing. “carry on”.

“i don’t think you have the right to be jealous on who y/n likes” ni-ki takes a sip from the water bottle he took back. “isn’t kinda weird too? that you’re jealous about all of this”.

“i’m not jealous” he corrected him. “i don’t know, that sunghoon guy gives me a bad feeling”.

“that’s definitely jealousy” ni-ki let out a laugh looking at him. jungwon sent him a scowl before taking back the bottle from him. “anyways i thought you always had a thing for them” he starts to say as jungwon takes yet another sip, the boy looks at him in a confused way before pulling the bottle away from his lips.

“what are you trying to say ni-ki?”

“what i’m saying is that you can never go a day without mentioning y/n” he raised his eyebrow to try and convince him further. “plus you look at them with hearts in your eyes, and the fact you’re so bummed out about this sunghoon thing just confirms my suspicions”.

“i’m not following” jungwon looks back at ni-ki with a blank stare. the younger rolls his eyes before lightly hitting him on the shoulder. “no, seriously”. the boy sent him a glare before sighing.

“are you genuinely this oblivious or you just don’t want to tell me you like y/n?”.

“what do you mean like?” the word like seemed so unfamiliar to him at that moment. of course he liked you, you were his best friend. although from how ni-ki was speaking, he understood that he wasn’t talking about the best friend sort of like.

“you romantically like them” ni-ki said it casually, “here, i’ll ask you a question and you, silently, in your mind answer it. i want you to do it silently so you can have a realisation of some sort”.

“what do we need questions for—” he was quickly shut off by ni-ki’s shhhh as he continued his conversation. rolling his eyes at his friends antics, he quickly shuts up before listening to what he was trying to say.

“do you think about y/n when they aren’t around?”

yes? isn’t this normal though

“do you miss them when you aren’t with them?”

yes? again, isn’t this a normal thing?

“do you get happy when they achieve things? like you want to hug them or like... that thing people do why they lift someone up and spin them around”

yes?

“do you get jealous when other people get more attention than you?”

yes...?

“when you see them do you get butterflies?”

sometimes, i do definitely get nervous though

“i feel like all of those should more or less answer your question on if you like y/n or not” ni-ki finished off his short quiz. jungwon gave him a puzzled look, he thought everything he had mentioned was a normal thing that every feels with their best friend.

“aren’t these just normal things?”

“i mean they’re just the basics jungwon” he started out saying, “everyone’s different when they have a crush”.

“so that could mean i have a crush on you?” the joking smile placed on jungwon’s lips only made ni-ki roll his eyes at the corny joke.

“i’m flattered honestly but i’m sadly not y/n”

the sunset was a pretty shade of pink and orange, it made you feel light and at a sense of peace watching it. the thought of taking a picture suddenly appeared in your head, quickly reaching for your phone in a frantic action before the sky changes in colour. you felt embarrassed at the fact you were standing at the end of the sidewalk patting the sides of your coat in an attempt to find your phone, a confused expression spread across your face.

“aha!” you felt a familiar shape in the back pocket of your jeans. lifting up the object, you felt it slipping slightly. your eyes widened noticing a small thud behind you on the ground. turning around to reach your phone in hopes it wasn’t broken in any way, you noticed a familiar figure hovering above you holding out your phone in his hands.

“you dropped this” a playful tone rolled off sunghoon’s tongue. you happily take it off his hands before looking back up at him.

“sunghoon!” you beamed gleefully at him, “i thought you went home already?”.

“no” he rubbed the back of his neck, “i missed my bus so i had to wait here for a while. turns out there was an accident twenty minutes away so everything’s delayed”.

“oh no” you frowned at his words. your brain scanned through all the possibilities you could do to help the boy, your eyes lit up having the realisation on the perfect solution. “do you wanna walk with me? where do you live? i can just tell my friend that he doesn’t need to pick me up”.

“no no it’s fine y/n” sunghoon waves his hands dismissively. “you don’t have to do that, plus i bet you’d rather walk with your friend”.

“don’t be silly” you chuckle as you unlocked your phone, pressing jungwon’s contact you typed in many apologies telling him that you can’t walk with him since you’re walking with sunghoon. “i already told him”. your phone lights up again, a notification showing a reply from jungwon saying a simple okay.

“he doesn’t seem very happy” sunghoon stares at the notification. he looks back at you with seriousness in his eyes, “isn’t this the jungwon you and i were talking about?”.

“well yeah” you avoided eye contact with him, embarrassed that you were probably about to get scolded. not only does sunghoon help you with training but he also helps you in your love life. you two have probably talked more about jungwon than actual figure skating, sunghoon always sighing at you for once again not being able to tell him your feelings. “he’s been like that ever since last week, i thought this was normal. don’t boys also have puberty mood swings?”.

“what happened last week?” you two started to walk towards your destinations. sunghoon luckily lived quite near your house, well if you count just twenty minutes away from the gate of your gated community. you two have walked home together before, the action usually having a romantic undertone but you two never felt that way. you always have seen sunghoon as a friend, understanding that he’s never really given you the same feeling jungwon does. it goes the same for him, he sees you more as a younger sibling than anything.

“well, he started acting a little weird when you called me that morning”

“the morning i asked you how you and jungwon were doing?” sunghoon raises an eyebrow.

“yeah” you nod, confirming his guess. you let out a sigh before moving on to your next point, “and you know when i told you about that thing that happened when his face was really close to mine?”.

“the one where it was really awkward?”

“you didn’t need to mention it was awkward” you shiver in embarrassment remembering that night. “and yeah, after that he wasn’t really the same. plus do you know the weirdest part?”.

“what happened” sunghoon chuckled at your embarrassed pout silently to himself. you turned to him with your eyes wide and hands in the air about to animate your following words.

“his friend messaged me, his friend! the transfer student nishimura riki” your nose scrunched in confusion and frustration. your arms too also expressing your frustration. “his message was so weird too!”.

“what did it say?”

“i know who likes you” your frustrated expression was even more prominent. “it was so childish! i even replied with a question mark and he just sent me a sticker of a cartoon animal giggling!”.

“maybe he does know who likes you” sunghoon raises an eyebrow.

“he wouldn’t, nobody likes me” you frown at your own words. “he’s probably just messing with me like everyone else at school”. sunghoon stops in his tracks when he realised your miserable mood.

“hey—” sunghoon bent down a little to get a look at your face. “what’s wrong?”.

“it’s— it’s silly” you wipe your tears away. you weren’t expecting yourself to cry on an evening like this, especially not on the day you were walking home with sunghoon on.

“no y/n it’s okay” sunghoon looked around the area to see if there was anywhere to sit down at. noticing a bench near the two of you, he held onto your wrist bringing you to sit on it. “you can tell me anything y/n, i hope you know this”.

“i know” you sniffled, sadly smiling at the situation at that moment. “it’s just that i’m so tired of everything. jungwon acting weird with me was just the tip of the iceberg. i can’t help but think if i did anything to make him act like this”. sunghoon listened in silence, nodding at your words as he watched you in pity while tears streamed down your face.

“the fact that my classmates still ostracise me even though i try so hard to get to know them hurts so much. even though my parents tell me school isn’t for making friends, i desperately want to. i mean jungwon was there to help but like what i said before, he’s being really distant” the pace of your tears slowing down. “plus what his friend said didn’t help, it just felt like i was just the pit of a joke i wasn’t even aware of”.

“y/n i don’t know if i should say this but i think jungwon really—”

“y/n?” a familiar voice cut off sunghoon’s words. “are you okay? why are you crying?” you look behind sunghoon and realised it was jungwon saying all those things. you watched as his concerned expression warped into a furious one, his focus on sunghoon’s hand still on your wrist. you felt your eyes widen as you quickly shook off his grasp, standing up from the bench as you wipe the excess tears on your face.

“what did he do to you?” his words directed at you but his glaring eyes didn’t leave sunghoon. the realisation that jungwon misunderstood the whole situation dawned over you. taking a step forward you tried to open your mouth in an attempt to calm him down, only to be stopped by sunghoon who had his arm extended out, blocking your path to jungwon.

“i didn’t do anything” sunghoon explained calmly. he turned to you before looking back at the enraged boy. “i understand why would think that but honestly, it’s you two who need to have a talk, a long talk” he chuckles silently to himself before standing up.

“i wasn’t done talking to you—”

sunghoon gave him a smile before patting his shoulder, “just listen to what they have to say”. you watched as he waved you two off as made his way home. you stared at sunghoon’s walking figure in shock, not sure if you were entirely thankful he left you with an angry jungwon.

“did he do something to you y/n?” he made his way to you in a panic, his eyes scanning you to see if there was anything wrong with you. “i swear to god, i knew there was something wrong with him” he tried to look at your face, your head facing the ground blocking his view. “hey, look at me” his voice softening as he tried once again to get your attention.

“i’m sorry” tears welled up in your eyes again as you made eye contact with him. you couldn’t understand why you were crying, maybe it was all the emotions building up to this moment. even so, you were incredibly happy that jungwon was so concerned and even came to look for you. “sunghoon didn’t do anything, i was just venting to him”.

“y/n... did something happen?” his worried eyes looking hard into yours.

you played with you fingers as you tried to think hard on what to say next, is this the right time? i mean, in all honesty you had nothing to lose. in fact it was the perfect moment to confess your feelings, well after you explain everything to him.

“no” you sniffled, wiping away more tears you turned to him with a small smile. “let’s get home, shall we?”. he looked at you with bothered feeling, noticing it you frowned. “maybe i should tell you” you quietly let out, a silent chuckle following it.

“please tell me why you were crying y/n” his soft voice had hints of distressed tones in it, he was so visibly concerned about you. it’s possible that’s when you were reminded why you love jungwon, he cared about you so much that it felt like he could do anything for you. you gulp before opening your mouth, instantly closing it when words couldn’t come out. “hey... y/n?”.

“i can’t explain” that’s when you opted out of telling him how you felt. you thought that he already cared about you as a best friend, if he didn’t like you back. it was break down everything you had. you sigh before facing him once again. “we should really get going—”

“when— when you sent me that message, telling me you didn’t need me to walk you home because of sunghoon, it made me so upset and mad” he laughed to himself, the stutter in his words making him realise how nervous he was. you jump a little in shock when you realised his hand found its way to yours. the warmth of it soothed you, a pink tinge finding its way to your cheeks, an occurrence that always seems to happen whenever you were with jungwon.

“i stayed home sulking about it, messaged ni-ki about it and he was so mad at me” his eyes looked sincere, the pink tinge suddenly growing into a red one. “he told me if i didn’t, and i quote, get my ass there and walk you myself, he’d tackle me onto the ground”.

“i don’t get why you’re telling me this—”

“so i did” he continued, not stopping to explain anything to you but his own story. “i got up from bed and started travelling on the street you usually walked home on. i don’t know what i was expecting, but seeing you cry on that bench with that sunghoon guy beside you made me incredibly upset. i thought he did something to you! i can tell that i misread that completely”.

“jungwon” you speak up. you had no idea why he was reciting any of this, what was this even leading up to? a grin lights up on his face, the feeling his hand squeeze yours lovingly confusing you even more. “please tell me what your telling me-”

“i like you y/n” a sudden serious tone appearing. “not even like, i’m probably in love with you”. the shocked look on your face made him laugh endearingly, he pulled your hand lightly to bring you closer to him. “i mean it, honestly. it took three days of me thinking about what ni-ki had told me to even realise it”.

“so he wasn’t lying” you let out, still not recovering from the shock. you slowly move your head up to catch a glimpse of jungwon’s face, who quite literally snapped you back into reality. “wait, you like me really?”.

“yes!” he laughed as he pulled you into a hug, sending butterflies to your stomach. “why? do you not like me back?”.

“no!” you look at him in surprise. “wait! i do like you, it might be love too. i figured it out three years ago, when we were at my lake house”.

“three years ago?” the surprised look on his face slowly morphed into an endeared one once he caught you looking up at him with a cheesy smile. “you win with that one i guess”. the smiles on you both of your faces didn’t seem to falter while looking into each other’s eyes, the warm-cold breeze and the lightly tinted pink on both your cheeks adding to the scene.

“are we dating now?” he jokes as he takes out leaf from your hair.

“when did that get there” you place your hand on the spot the leaf was on. laughing it off, you look back up at him. the feeling of you in his arms still made your stomach flip, in a good way of course. “and yes, i suppose so?”.

“so now i can tell my parents i’m dating the smartest person in the country, as well as the prettiest?” he squeezes you tighter in a loving hug.

“so you’re just with me for my brains and looks?” sarcasm dripping from your words as you let out a loud laugh. “i’m kidding jungwon, yes you can tell them if you want to”.

“what are you gonna tell your parents?” a curious grin placed on his face.

“i’m dating my three year long crush”.

“as if they’d believe i’d be their precious child’s crush” he laughed as he loosened the grip on you. holding out his hand, you realised quickly that he wants you to hold it. “let’s get you back home before your parents send the police to look for you”.

“sure” you take his hand as you two walked down the street. both your sides looking as if you two were glued together from how the space was closed between the two of you, leaving no gap in between.

you always dreamt about your high school love story, even with your hectic schedule crushing you down everyday.

what you never expected was that your best friend was the start of it all.

#enhypen angst #enhypen scenarios #enhypen imagines #enhypen x reader #enhypen fluff #kpop angst #kpop imagines #kpop scenarios #kpop fluff #kpop x reader

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