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dustofthedailylife · 17 days

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You were not supposed to hear that...yet

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Pairing: Alhaitham x (gn!) Reader

Summary: Alhaitham reveals a secret about the inner workings of his heart to his friends over a cup of wine and in between some banter. However, he did not expect it would go this wrong...

Tags: Fluff, crack, comfort, teasing, consumption of alcohol (by characters), the whole 4ggravate crew is here, friendly banter between friends, a small sprinkle of angst because reader is insecure (but it's unjustified)

A/N: Dust posting a new fic?! Not an April Fool's joke, despite the date! Finally felt inspired and well enough again to finish this fic that has been rotting in my WIPs forever. I hope you like it. And feel free to hit me up with asks and reblogs - it'd motivate me greatly after my long break 🥺

The usual friend group of Cyno, Kaveh, Tighnari, and him - Alhaitham, was sitting at the Tavern. A gathering like it happened almost every weekend at this point.

The wine bottle on the table had been emptied around two or three times already when Kaveh ordered a new one yet again. At this point, Alhaitham had actually lost count of how many glasses of wine he'd already had, too. But one thing was for certain, he could feel the alcohol in his system and the warm blood that was rushing to his cheeks. All things considered though, despite feeling a little tipsy from the intoxication, he was still able to think clearly.

"Let me guess I'm the one who will have to end up covering your bill again?" He took sarcastic a jab at Kaveh.

The man in question just squinted his eyes and glared daggers at him before opening his mouth in an attempt to protest before it was quickly shot down by Tighnari's hand covering it.

Alhaitham leisurely leaned back in his chair smirking to himself, training his focus back onto the TCG cards in his hands and considering his next turn of action in the game he was playing against Cyno.

"What, am I just supposed to take it all the time and be quiet?!" Kaveh retorted, directed at Tighnari. The fox's ears were beginning to droop lower and lower as his expression became more and more deadpan.

"You all know as well as I do that if [Y/N] was here he wouldn't be acting like this. He would be on his best behavior and pay for the drinks without so much as complaining or being so cocky."

"By the way," Tighnari attempted to divert the attention away from Kaveh's ranting. "Where are they? Didn't you say they wanted to stop by the Tavern as well today, Alhaitham?"

Alhaitham played his round, throwing his card Cyno's way before looking up at Tighnari again.

"They mentioned it but I suppose something must've come up instead. I will ask tomorrow."

"Isn't it strange?" Kaveh addressed the others. "Whenever it involves [Y/N] he graciously offers himself up to talk to them and seek them out but whenever someone else is looking for him he is nowhere to be found."

"Maybe you just can't find me because I simply don't have anything to discuss with you." Alhaitham threw another jab at Kaveh with a smirk, which was promptly followed by a light punch against his bicep by the blonde architect.

"What? I constantly have to talk to you already when we're at ho-"

"SHHH! Don't say that out loud." Kaveh hissed, quickly covering Alhaitham's mouth in panic, since he didn’t want him to spell out that they were currently living together. “It's embarrassing enough that I currently have no other choice, no need to add to my misery.”

A witty quip was burning at the tip of Alhaitham's tongue after Kaveh's remark yet again, but he decided to swallow it. He didn't want to upset him too much, especially since he knew he'd had it rough lately. Even if it would've been said in jest, there was no need to add insult to injury. Instead, he simply resorted to taking another sip of his wine with a low chuckle and a glance in the blonde architect’s direction.

“Aaaaanyway…”, Tighnari cleared his throat, addressing Alhaitham once more. “What is it between [Y/N] and you anyway? You've become quite close haven't you?”

“That's an understatement.” Kaveh groaned, dropping his head on his folded arms on the table dramatically. “He can't stop talking about them. Day in and day out it’s [Y/N]-this, [Y/N]-that.”

“We started working on a project about six months ago. Things are progressing quite smoothly if I do say so myself. Certainly makes things easier if you're working with someone who is both hardworking and intelligent in every way. I’ve been lucky to have been assigned to the project with them.” Alhaitham answered Tighnari’s question rationally while ignoring Kaveh’s dramatic display.

“Here he goes again.” Kaveh huffed, directing his comment at Cyno and Tighnari. “Whenever he talks about them you hear nothing but praises.”

“If someone is doing a great job, is it not logical to give them the credit they deserve?” Alhaitham added matter of factly.

“No… I mean yes, but no. It's just not something I'd see you doing. It’s so out of character.” Kaveh huffed. “And before you say anything, yes, maybe I just don't know that side of you because I don't give you any reason to praise me. No need to add that, thank you.”

Kaveh poked his tongue out at Alhaitham before taking a big sip from his wine.

“Why, if you want to be praised you just need to say so, Kaveh. I think you're quite brilliant - your shortcomings aside.” He just had to add that last bit. Kaveh was just way too easy to tease. And what would this friend group be without the playful banter and jabs at each other?

Kaveh choked on the drink immediately and slammed his cup down onto the table with a loud clang. A fire burned behind his crimson eyes when he spoke next.

“This is exactly what I meant, thanks for proving my point!”

Kaveh looked at Cyno and Tighnari gesturing in the direction of Alhaitham with a move that said “Do you see what I mean now?”.

Tighnari just facepalmed and shook his head.

“And what is your point exactly?” Cyno inquired, playing a card from his hand.

“Did you not listen to what he said?” Kaveh gasped.

“Not really,” Cyno admitted honestly, his eyes trained back on the cards in his hands.

“It's the fact that he can praise others too, but never without also pointing out their faults in the same sentence. Did no one ever notice that? However, he never does that when it's [Y/N].” Kaveh explained.

“And?” Tighnari and Cyno replied in unison, looking puzzled as to where Kaveh wanted to go with this.

Kaveh put his head in his hand and groaned in frustration. “Sometimes you all make me feel like I am surrounded by idiots.”

Now everyone raised their eyebrows at him.

“You're all so clueless… anyway.” He sighed dramatically and accusingly pointed a finger at Alhaitham. “This guy. This admittedly handsome but blockheaded, know-it-all, stoic, annoying-”

“Get to the point.” Alhaitham chided, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Fine, fine." Kaveh spread his arms like he was holding a presentation and Alhaitham his canvas.

“This guy's right here, as alien as it may sound – has fallen in love.”

“You're in love?!” Cyno exclaimed his eyes widening. “With who?!”

Tighnari rolled his eyes, knowing full well Cyno hadn't listed at all the past ten minutes because he had been so absorbed in his cards, and gently slapped the back of his head.

“[Y/N], of course!” The Forest Ranger exclaimed with a huff.

Cyno, now rubbing the back of his head just ushered a “Wait really?” while Kaveh and Tighnari just curiously began eyeing Alhaitham in the hope of seeing any type of confirmation on his face. However, it stayed as unreadable as ever.

He nonchalantly took another sip of wine from his cup while leisurely looking back and forth between the cards on the table and the ones in his hand before playing another turn as if this conversation just now hadn't happened.

“So!?” Kaveh asked, almost hysterically at this point. “Do you intend to enlighten us?”

Just how had he gotten into this situation now? Alhaitham suppressed a sigh before turning to Cyno: “Your turn. Two of your cards are down.”

“Archons!” Cyno cussed, immediately attempting to go back to study his cards but a fist slammed the table harshly, drawing all attention to it.

Tighnari flinched in shock and Cyno, too seemed to be pulled back to reality. Kaveh’s hand was trembling slightly, visibly agitated.

“Stop changing the subject, Alhaitham. The more you keep avoiding answering the question the more I think I am right in my assumptions.”

Alhaitham pinched the bridge of his nose beginning to truly feel a little stressed by Kaveh’s insistance. The man was truly too nosy for his good.

“Kaveh, just let it be if he doesn’t-” Tighnari began before being cut off by Alhaitham.

“And what if you are right? What then, Kaveh?”

Everyone at the table fell silent and everyone was staring at him with a mix of disbelief and shock.

He hadn't planned to reveal any of this yet, especially since he feared they would try to become his wingman. Which, admittedly, may be a nice gesture on paper but with them it could only end in disaster. Plus he would prefer to deal with his feelings alone first and think them through thoroughly, before talking about them with anyone. Besides, it should be you, if anyone, who should hear about them first - alas he was too deep into this now to weasel his way out.

“What?!” Kaveh’s mouth hung open in shock.

“So it is true then?” Cyno inquired, putting the card in his hand down on the table, now suddenly fully hooked on the tea that was being spilled.

“Hold on. Pause.” Kaveh sat upright, before quickly gazing over Alhaitham’s shoulder. “So you-”

“For Archon’s sake.” Alhaitham was beginning to get annoyed because he didn't know how much clearer he had to become for them to get it. “Yes - I’ve been in love with them. For a while now-”

“Alhaitham-” Kaveh tried to interject.

“No, don't interrupt me now, you pestered me about it for the past twenty minutes now you'll have to listen. I have never met anyone who is so hardworking, intelligent, and stunning in any way. Of course, I would be infatuated with a person like them. It would be hard not to fall for them.”

“Uhm Alhai–” Kaveh laughed awkwardly before being interrupted by Alhaitham’s ongoing monologue once more.

“At first I wasn't sure about it but I am now. I am thinking about them first thing in the morning and last thing when I go to sleep - unless you're hammering away on some project again that keeps me awake, Kaveh.”

Kaveh waved for him to shut up already but Alhaitham didn't let that bother him. If he wanted the full story with all the details - he'd get it. He hoped that would get this discussion out of the way once and for all.

“And guess what? They even remembered how I liked my coffee just after I told them once and gifted me a book that I had been trying to find for weeks. So yes, Kaveh. I love [Y/N]. There, does that suffice now, or?”

Kaveh let out a squeal as soon as Alhaitham had stopped speaking but upon further inspection of his expression, it hadn't been one of excitement but rather pure terror and awkwardness.

“Alhaitham…” Cyno and Tighnari said in unison and he only then noticed as well how their gaze was trained on a spot behind him.

“What?” Alhaitham inquired, curling a brow up in confusion before all three men pointed their fingers at something behind him.

When he turned his head around to look at what they were trying to show him, he felt his heart drop to his stomach for the first time in ages.

To his utter shock, you were standing right behind him. Or rather, you were frozen in place, your hand still half lifted in greeting as if you had just been about to greet the lot of them. Your mouth was slightly open in shock still and your pupils were but the size of pinpricks and transfixed on Alhaitham.

And judging by your reaction you must've heard every last word he had said.

“I-I…” You started stammering, clearly confused about what you had just heard. “I uh-, I'll head back home.”

You abruptly turned around on your heel and marched straight out the Tavern door you had just come through as if someone was chasing you.

Alhaitham hadn't moved a muscle ever since he had spotted you standing behind him and he looked like he was frozen in place. Everyone at the table had fallen so silent, one would've been able to hear a needle drop.

Alhaitham's eyes were still fixed on the door you had left through. The little bell that chimed every time the Tavern door hit it on the way in or out was still dangling lightly from the impact. But the movement was dying down slowly but surely - just like Alhaitham, who felt like someone had dropped a boulder on his chest.

You were not supposed to hear that, yet.

“You uh…, Alhaitham you should probably follow them.” Tighnari was the first to speak again. He awkwardly scratched behind his ears. Cyno hummed in agreement while Kaveh just sat there with his mouth wide open.

Alhaitham exhaled in frustration, unable to properly place his emotions. But they were somewhere between unsettled, nervous, and discomforted.

When he got up it felt like someone had tied heavy iron blocks to his ankles that were weighing him down.

“Yeah, I guess I do,” Alhaitham muttered before marching off.

When you stormed outside the Tavern the cool evening breeze gnawed at your skin and made goosebumps erupt all over. Although you weren't quite sure if it was the temperature or your emotional turmoil at play here.

There was no way Alhaitham had just said that and actually meant it. He wouldn't be the type of man to flat-out admit that he had feelings for anyone. Or would he? He had been talking to his closest friends after all.

You were questioning your sense of reality and thought you must've fabricated it all in your mind. Or maybe you misheard what he said and he was talking about something else entirely.

But no, he said your name, and the others looked panicked when you entered the tavern and approached the table.

As you rushed through the streets of Sumeru City the chilly wind kept whipping in your face. Not even you knew where you were going at this point. You simply went where your feet were carrying you.

But eventually, you realized you had run up the Akademiya and to the blue-green mosaic pavilion that glistened in the last rays of sunlight. The spot at which you and Alhaitham often spent your lunch break together.

You sunk down on the bench exhaustedly and stared holes in the ground.

No way.

There was just no way.

Alhaitham. The man you had fallen for so hard that he had begun to occupy every waking thought you had. That man was supposed to have feelings for you and had just flat-out admitted it?

No, this simply had to be a dream. A bad joke. Or maybe even a bet between the group that they orchestrated to prank you.

You could feel your heart thumping in your head and it felt like your head was swimming. It was as if you had downed an entire bottle of wine by yourself, but you were as sober as one could be.

Yes, that had to be it. It was a bet between the boys over one too many cups of wine and they had all acted their parts out flawlessly.

You got up again walking to the railing, overlooking Sumeru city that shone majestically in the last remaining rays of sunshine that the day had to offer. Another gush of wind blew your way, making tears well up in your eyes. Although it may have also been your emotions who were to blame for that instead.

You inhaled deeply. Once. Twice. But nothing seemed to help calming the rapidly beating heart in your chest.

In your daze, you completely missed how someone had quietly come up to the pavilion as well.

Alhaitham leaned against the railing himself, looking over the city in silence, too. He was clearly ringing for words. Although you assumed the wrong reason for his struggle.

“Look,” you began, trying your hardest to suppress the tremble in your voice. “If you came here to apologize - please, spare me your words.”

He looked at you opening his mouth before closing it again right after with a silent nod. His cheeks were dusted in a light pink shade - you assumed it was caused by the alcohol he had downed at the tavern with the others.

“I hope that we can go back to normal tomorrow and just finish our project. I’d prefer if we kept our distance after that. I think it’s for the best” The words left your mouth at normal speed, but it felt like you had to force every single one out. They felt tenacious, like old chewing gum that you tried to pull out from in between your teeth.

“I understand.” He stated calmly before retraining his gaze back into the distance.

You both kept standing next to each other in silence for a long while before you decided to confront him about it directly. You eventually decided it was for the best if you got things off your chest now so that you could get over him quickly. Ripping it off like a band-aid would hopefully give you the relief you so desperately craved right now.

“You know,” you began. “I don’t know who came up with the idea and I also don’t care, no need to tell me. But you guys should never do this to anyone again because you never know how much it might end up hurting someone else’s feelings.”

Alhaitham stood upright and turned to face you directly. He crossed his arms over his chest and slightly cocked his head like he always did when he was thinking about something you said.

After a momentary pause, he asked: “What do you mean?”

“I mean that you shouldn’t toy with someone’s feelings as a prank. It’s never actually funny for anyone but the people who orchestrate such a prank. No matter if the other person reciprocates the feelings or whether they believe the statement, they always end up being the one who is being ridiculed.” You explained as rationally as possible, which was a stark contrast to the tempest that was raging both inside of your heart and mind.

“Especially when the person hoped to hear those exact words for the longest time, too…” You added. It wasn't more than an utterance under your breath - so quietly it was barely audible. But Alhaitham heard nonetheless.

“But I meant everything I said.” He stated matter of factly, seemingly catching on to the fact that you must’ve assumed the wrong things about the whole situation.

“What?! Alhaitham, please, there is no need to add insult to injury. You had your fun now–”

“No.” He gently took your hands in his, exhaling heavily. “Archons, you weren’t supposed to find out like this.”

He rarely swore which made the impact of his words even stronger.

“I wanted to tell you face to face and was waiting for the right moment to do so. But, just know that every word you heard and everything I said back at the tavern was the truth. No bet or scheme made me say it. Not that anyone would be able to make me say these things in the first place.” He sighed once more, giving your hands an emphasizing squeeze. “I meant it.”

“You did?”

“Every word.”

You felt the blood rush to your face and immediately lowered your gaze in an attempt to hide your flusteredness.

“Had I known this would happen, I would’ve told you everything right from the start. I don’t like how this went now but–”, he moved his hands up to cup your face. His beautiful turquoise eyes trained on no one but you.

“I’m absolutely certain I like you. You drive me crazy. And I love and hate how much you occupy every waking thought of mine because I can’t focus on anything when you’re around. And when you’re not, you’re still always on my mind. So please – be mine.”

Do not repost, copy, translate or edit - © dustofthedailylife || reblogs, comments, and asks about Genshin or my fics are always greatly appreciated and motivate me! Maple dividers are mine - do not copy.

#genshin impact #astronetwrk #genshin fanfic #genshin x reader #alhaitham x reader #al haitham x reader #alhaitham x y/n #genshin fluff #genshin crack #genshin alhaitham #genshin x y/n #genshin impact fanfic #genshin drabbles #genshin scenarios #genshin brainrot #genshin headcanons #🍁 dust writes #🍁彡 gi

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kalliyen · 1 year

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Streamer Luck 🍀

Pairing: Wanderer x GN!Reader

Featuring: Wanderer (Genshin Impact)

Genre: Fluff, Modern AU

Summary: Streamer Wander drabbles lmao enjoy <33

Reader’s Pronouns: They/Them

Warning: wanderer (just brace yourself) bro is actually astronomically down bad, sorry id there’s any spelling or grammar mistakes i am delirious rn

Disclaimer: ⚠️ ONLY A WORK OF FICTION!

i. ‘wym you’re not single and rotting in a basement?’

Wanderer has been playing for hours on end, you could barely keep up with it.

He hasn’t come out of his room for hours and you were starting to get worried about his appetite, and his emotional well being.

Because you were such a good and doting partner, you decided to make Wanderer’s fave dish, and deliver it to his room.

Knocking on his door, he lets out a brief hum, signaling that it was good to come in. Careful not to get to close to the camera, not wanting to reveal yourself to his audience just yet.

Chat noticed the presence of another person in the room, and immediately bombarding Wanderer with questions like “who tf is that???” and “where did they spawn from???”

“Darling you’ve been streaming for 6 hours, take a break and eat first okay? Just call me when you need anything else.” You state, trying to resist giving him a peck on the lips.

Your boyfriend pauses his game, looks at you, then chat, and decides to pull your waist to his level to give you not one peck, but multiple.

Taken aback but not at all surprised from your boyfriend’s sudden show of affection, you lean into the kiss, missing the feel of his lips on yours.

Chat absolutely EXPLODES when they saw that, but Wanderer did not give two shits, and decided to kiss your hand, while deeply looking into your eyes

“Thanks Honey, I’ll take a break and eat this, thank you so much for looking out for me :)”

“No problem darl, just come out when I call you for dinner okay?” “Yes honey” And with that you leave the room, leaving Wanderer with him and his chat

He scans the messages, multiple times he sees “SO DOWN BAD LMAOO” and “did u kidnap them or something to take are of you”

A little irked at chat, he angrily replies “No I am NOT down bad (he is) and NO I did not kidnap them. They’re my partner. Why is that so hard to believe?”

ii. honey face reveal when?

Ever since you’ve made your existence known to Wanderer’s fan base they’ve been calling you Honey, mostly mocking him about the nickname he has for you. (they do find it cute tho fr)

They tell him to bring you into the stream more, saying that they missed your voice and your sweet personality, honestly they don’t give a fuck about him no more they just wanna see you

Wanderer gets annoyed (again, this man is always mad at his chat somehow), and says that he can’t force you to show yourself to them, which his chat respects.

“Also their sweetness and cuteness is for me only, not my fault that you guys are lonely and don’t have a partner. Imagine that, what a massive L” he says to his chat, and they start arguing with him again. (someone save his fan base)

iii. HONEY REVEALLL !!!!!

Seeing that your boyfriend’s fans really liked you, you decided to tell Wanderer that you’re finally comfortable with sharing your face to the internet, which he was really happy with. Because god he really wanted to show of the love of his life to the world, and smash it in their faces that only he could have you.

You suggest to him that you do a cute little baking stream together as your face reveal, and he couldn’t deny the adorable smile on your face while suggesting it to him, so of course he obliged.

While he was setting up the cameras and you were setting up the ingredients you felt really nervous, thoughts of ‘what if they don’t like me?’ plagued your mind, and Wanderer sensed your uneasy demeanor. He came up to you and gave you a kiss that meant ‘don’t be nervous honey, i’ll always be here for you.’

He turns the stream on and immediately people start to come in, surprised at the change of scenery.

‘Wanderer doesn’t live in his basement confirmed?!?!’ a TTS message read, and he gave the camera a glare

Chat immediately noticed you and started chanting “HONEY!” “OH MY GOD ITS HONEY FINALLY”

You gave a meek wave to the camera, still a bit nervous, but with Wanderer’s hand on your waist you knew you had nothing to worry about.

“Hello everyone,,,,I’m y/n, you probably know me as ‘honey’ and i’m…..wanderer’s partner” you say with small smile on your face, eyes turning into small slits

In conclusion, the stream was a success and chat was absolutely smitten with you.

bonus: iv. Honey takes over the channel 😱

Now that you’ve gotten more comfortable showing yourself on stream, you sometimes played games with Wanderer too, like co-op in this game called Genshin or other games that allowed two person players.

Sometimes, you even started streams yourself whenever you wanted to share something to his audience, or get advice from them when you start a new game.

Wanderer of course sees these streams and he just has the lovey dovey-est smile in the world, you swear you saw his eyes turn into hearts.

Damn, his streamer luck is insane.

#genshin #genshin impact #genshin crack #genshin fluff #genshin modern au #scaramouche #wanderer #kunikuzushi #genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #genshin headcanons #genshin drabbles #genshin x you #genshin scenarios #wanderer x reader #scaramouche x reader #kunikuzushi x reader #genshin angst #genshin imagines

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catscidr · 9 days

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// how genshin men would kabedon you //

i. note — im stuck in bed because of cramps help me i wanted to be productive today but eye can't write good…… so i wrote something self indulgent silly to get my mind off of the pain instead _(´ཀ`」 ∠) _ ueue ii. cw — fluff/crack, gn!reader, suggestive if you squint rly hard, you're shorter than them in the third part for convenience's sake, not rly proofread im melting

standard kabedon with one arm ↳ alhaitham, diluc, zhongli ˎˊ˗

immediately understood what you meant when you asked if he could “kabedon” you. he either he read it about it somewhere or it’s just something he picked up from overhearing others talk about it in passing— you’d tease him for being “nosy” if you weren’t so flustered at the sight of him looking down at you with such a straight face.

your gaze travels down from his face, to his neck, to his bicep… close to you… and his forearm… that’s even closer to you… you’re so focused on his strong masculine arm that you don’t catch the slight blush tinting his cheeks.

whew. is it just you or is it getting hot in here?

standard kabedon but with both arms ↳ albedo, xiao, lyney ˎˊ˗

he either knew what a kabedon was already or you had to explain it to him and he… misunderstood a little bit.

or maybe he didn’t. maybe it was on purpose. maybe caging you in with both of his arms was what he was planning all along while you sheepishly explained what a kabedon entailed…!

or maybe he doesn’t want to admit that he zoned out while you were talking because all he thought about was how cute you looked, all flushed and embarrassed. yeah. that’s definitely not what happened. of course not

invades your personal space and backs you up into the wall without even using his arms ↳ pantalone, ayato, dottore ˎˊ˗

he pretended not to know what a was kabedon because’s he’s mean. while you tried to explain what it entailed (while sweating nervously from how hard he was staring at you), he slowly closed the distance between the two of you before you realized just how close he was.

he was taller than you, so he had to bend down at the waist to be at eye-level with you… and the action didn’t help your poor little heart. you could smell his cologne and gods did you feel your knees go weak.

but on the bright side, if your legs give out he’ll be close enough to catch you before you bust your head open! such a gentleman

forget using arms, he’ll use his leg to pin you to the wall instead ↳ itto, cyno, childe ˎˊ˗

why be like everyone else when he can show off instead? you think he might have been a bird in another life because this isn’t a kabedon, it has to be some sort of courting ritual or… something.

at least it’s working, though. your face is flushed, you’re holding back a smile and your heart is racing against your ribcage.

the only downside if that your face is buried in your hands; if it wasn’t, you’re sure your curiosity would get the better of you and you’d end up looking. don’t ask where, you know what i mean

….you kabedon him. ↳ wanderer, baizhu, neuvillette, webttore ˎˊ˗

he either straight up refused to do it or was so utterly puzzled by what on earth a “kabedon” even was that you had to show him.

cue a strained gasp, his brows either raised to the heavens or furrowed so hard he would immediately get wrinkles, and a blush that you would never let yourself forget. maybe you should do this more often.

but be careful, he might turn the tables and catch you off guard to kabedon you someday as payback. oh no! terrible, i know

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poisonous-honey · 3 months

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Player: *listening to Writing on the Wall for the 100th time* Kaveh's just like me fr

Kaveh: *Feeling every emotion at once* pleASE STOP OUTING ME TO EVERYONE IN SUMERU AND THOSE ARE NOT THE TRAITS OF MINE YOU SHOULD BE RELATING TO ARE YOU OKAY

#sagau #genshin crack #genchin crack #genshin reader insert #genshin incorrect quotes #kaveh x reader #self aware genshin #x reader #pois.writes #Pois.Posts

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seelestia · 1 year

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— 𝐁𝐎𝐘𝐅𝐈𝐄, 𝐂'𝐌𝐄𝐑𝐄!

SUMMARY. some headcanons about sumeru men as your boyfriend in the modern ages. (teyvat who? we only know earth.)

CHARACTERS. tighnari, cyno, alhaitham, kaveh, scaramouche/wanderer.

GENRE. fluff, crack, modern au.

CW. lowercase intended, use of pet names, written before kaveh and wanderer's release, scara is referred to as kunikuzushi.

THOUGHTS. this format is a bit different than my regular ones, but i hope this is still able to tickle a little laugh out of someone <3

✰ masterlist.

☆ TIGHNARI!

boyfie!tighnari whose unofficial job is to cook meals for the both of you; he actually doesn't mind, but what worries him the most is if you step into the kitchen — unless you manage to prove the existence of your culinary skills to him, that is. (#y/nramsay??)

"nari, i'm home!" you chirp, closing the front door behind you. the smell of something tasty wafts through the air and you peek into the kitchen like a curious kitten.

immediately, you are greeted by the sight of tighnari at the stove with your favorite apron on (yes, it has "kiss the cook" on it but tighnari would throw a ladle at you). it doesn't take long for him to notice your gaze lingering on him. tighnari doesn't even have to look back as he hums, "welcome home."

you lean against the wall with an impish grin on your face, "so... what's cookin', good lookin'?"

your boyfriend shoots you an unimpressed look, "...go take a shower, (y/n)."

boyfie!tighnari who combs your hair for you when you're half asleep in the morning. he takes care of his hair very well, so he might as well help you while he is at it. tighnari reasons that he does this because you look too sleepy to function normally… but maybe, he just likes admiring your sleepy face. (that trail of dry drool, though, not so much.)

"hey, hey, stay still," tighnari huffs an exasperated sigh when you start to lean forward in your sleepy state. he puts a hand on your forehead, stopping you from moving any further. "i can't brush your hair properly if you keep nodding off," he shakes his head.

you mumble, "so... tired..." his eyes soften slightly at the sound of your light-headed tone, "yes, i can see that. now, stay still."

boyfie!tighnari who tells you lots of unnecessary botany facts that you don't really ask for, but he looks cute nerding out, so you just listen without a clue.

"unnecessary? you might need these facts in the future," tighnari frowns, clearly taking offense when you throw his botany facts into the "unnecessary" category.

you snort, "yeah, for what?"

"for the possibility of me disowning you and leaving you to fend for yourself in the jungle one day," he says that so flatly that you almost do a double take.

he sounds like he's been planning that for years but he is just joking, obviously.

boyfie!tighnari who chides you when you get sick. no, he isn't mad, he is just very concerned... and disappointed. so, you get a nagging boyfriend with a mix of both.

"...are you mad at me?" you ask through sniffles and a runny nose. "no," tighnari replied as he places a neatly folded and soaked cloth on your forehead.

"you look mad," you point out with a pouty look. "no, i'm not," he responds with that dry tone again, trying to hush you by gently shoving a thermometer into your mouth.

"...i'm sorry," you mutter.

"if you are, then don't do that again. i thought i told you that—" and off into a ramble he goes. (in his defense, he cares for you so it only makes for him to worry... and nag like a mom.)

☆ CYNO!

boyfie!cyno who clings to you like a koala when you wake up. you're like a source of comforting warmth that he can't help but snuggle. who would've thought that a scary fellow like him can be seen literally melting into you?

"cyno, i can't move," you utter quietly. as much as you'd like for him to cling onto you longer, one has to rise and shine eventually.

"...sorry," your boyfriend mumbles into your back, slightly muffled but audible and coherent enough. great, now you feel bad for telling him that.

boyfie!cyno who leans against you when he plays a game on his console. or, have you sit close to him when he is playing a card game because you're his "lucky charm".

"are you sure you'd win if i stay here?" you lay your head on his shoulder, peering into the console he is playing in his hands.

cyno nods without tearing his eyes off the screen, "even if i lose, i still want you here, anyway."

(is he... flirting? does he even realize he is flirting? yeah, he probably doesn't and he's cute for that.)

boyfie!cyno who puts little candies in your pocket for you to munch on when you feel bored.

you can't help the sneaky grin that makes its way onto your lips as you ask, "are you giving me these so i'll think of you when i eat them?"

this catches cyno by surprise. he almost splutters into a fit of flustered coughs, but he manages to hold his composure. "well, i-if you want to," he says meekly.

well, sort of managed to, anyway.

boyfie!cyno who scowls back at anyone looking at you the wrong way. scary bodyguard privilege, maybe?

"cyno, what's wrong?"

you raise a confused eyebrow at the stern expression on your boyfriend's face. he is looking at something behind you, but that deadly glint shines in his eyes already speaks volumes.

his arm sneaks around your waist to pull you closer, "nothing. somebody was just staring at you."

is he possessive or just protective, who knows? perhaps, both.

☆ ALHAITHAM!

boyfie!alhaitham who sneaks glances at you from over his book when he is reading. he denies it, though.

"you really think you're sneaky, huh? i can see you looking at me from all the way over here," you laugh.

with how much time alhaitham has spent rolling his eyes, you would've thought he lost them by now. but your lover doesn't look ready to give up.

"are you sure you weren't just seeing things? i was too immersed in the book, if you haven't noticed," he responds to your daring statement (which contains the truth, actually).

you hum sarcastically, "sure, sure."

"think whatever you want," there he goes rolling his eyes, again — but he is fooling no one with that little smile on his lips.

boyfie!alhaitham who predicts the plotlines of every single movie when you two have a movie night.

"it's getting too quiet. i reckon it's probably time... and..."

you are quite literally spooked out of your mind, holding onto the pillow in your chest like it's a lifeline. but alhaitham can't seem to relate; with the way he leans back to take in the scene on the screen, he looks more bored than anything.

"—there goes the jumpscare. i saw this coming from twenty minutes ago."

you scrunch your nose in annoyance and throw him a light scowl, "can you, at least, pretend to be the least bit shocked?"

alhaitham scoffs before letting out the fakest noise of fear, if you've ever heard one. "...ahh. there, are you happy now?"

"this is why i hate you."

"what a roundabout way to say i love you, i appreciate it."

boyfie!alhaitham who acts irritated when you want to use his shoulder to sleep, but he lets you anyway, albeit he does so very grumpily. (indirect reference to a previous work i wrote!)

the weight of your head on his shoulder doesn't bother him that much, but he can't have you getting used to this. certainly not.

alhaitham sighs tiredly, "my shoulder isn't a pillow, you know?" you nod, yet you don't move an inch as you reply, "i know."

"i assume you also know that neck pillows exist? and for a very cheap price?"

"uh-huh."

he almost wants to push you off and throw a blanket over your head. not that it'll shut you up nor would he actually do that, but a man can dream about peace.

"well, if you know, then act like it."

"no, ignorance is bliss."

alhaitham hates that philosophy but he likes you; so, he doesn't really have much of a choice, does he?

"you little... ugh, fine."

boyfie!alhaitham who quizzes you on random facts. he doesn't expect you to get them all right, of course; let's just call it "sharing is caring" but with the concept of knowledge.

why are you even subjected to this? you've asked alhaitham this before, but he tells you every time that this is just his definition of 'fun'. (and that if you love him, you'll indulge. talk about affectionate blackmail.)

"...do i look like albert einstein to you?" you gape at him, crossing your arms against your chest in disbelief. how are you supposed to answer that isaac newton level question?

"if you do, then i wouldn't have asked," he smiles. a smile that you don't think you feel relief upon seeing, you can just sense that there is a hint of sadism somewhere in his expression.

"what do i get from this?" you are ready to whine your way out of his little game, but his answer to your question has your interest marginally piqued.

alhaitham affirms, "anything you want."

"...a kiss?"

"no."

that is alhaitham's way of saying yes; well, granted that you can somewhat answer the question, anyway.

"—and don't you even think about using google," he adds. darn it, looks like you're not gonna get that kiss.

☆ KAVEH!

boyfie!kaveh who just feels his chest fluttering, his stomach exploding butterflies, his legs weakening every time you call him "your boyfriend". (he is the biggest simp for you, naturally.)

"kav, you're so old-fashioned for liking that type of sappy stuff," you stifle a laugh behind your hand. kaveh feigns a dramatic gasp, "ah! old-fashioned? i am not." he speaks again, but with a sulky hint to his tone this time, "being called yours and calling you mine are not sappy, is it not the truth?"

okay, he looks proud for saying that.

"flatterer," you roll your eyes. but then, you grin wide as you add, "my flatterer."

and only by doing that, kaveh swears you just shot an arrow through his heart. oh my gosh, you're so unfair, but you're also so cute that he wants to kiss you and smother you and— ahem, moving on.

boyfie!kaveh who always tells you that you're his only last thread of sanity whenever he deals with alhaitham.

"can you believe it?! that was what he said to me, word for word, verbatim! that jerk, i'll hide his work phone where he can't ever find it."

"good luck on that. he is about the same height as you, babe."

"[y/n], my love, you were supposed to be on my side!"

(okay, maybe you just wanted to tease him a little but god, that pout on his lips is beautiful.)

boyfie!kaveh who immediately keels over the spot every time you wear his clothes. how you look so adorable, how you smell like him... his one weakness.

"oh. my. days."

standing in the kitchen and that is the first thing you heard. not even a "hello" or a "good morning, love". you turn around, the shirt you stole from your boyfriend's corner in the closet on your figure, with a hand on your hip.

you frown confusedly, "what? what happened?" why, did the toothpaste run out again? you are about to ask until you see kaveh pointing a finger at you like a madman.

"my clothes. you're wearing my clothes," he stammers dramatically. you tilt your head questioningly, "...yes, and?"

"what do you mean, and? c'mere—"

boyfie!kaveh who kisses your hand as a greeting, as a habit, and as a hobby. he denies it but he really is into that old-fashioned thingy, huh?

"that tickles," you giggle when kaveh's lips brush against your knuckles. "a fitting greeting for my beloved, of course," he plants another exaggerated kiss on the back of your hand.

"if you like my hand so much, you might as well put a ring on it, then."

"wha— wait, did you just— did you just beat me to it? are you proposing to me?!"

☆ KUNIKUZUSHI!

boyfie!kunikuzushi who always gets blushy-angry whenever you compliment him for literally anything.

you already know that your boyfriend is a man of many talents, if only he were willing to show them more often. this time, though; you somehow manage to persuade him into being the cook for tonight. don't ask how, you have your ways.

you bring a spoonful of food to your mouth, "mm, kuni, this actually tastes pretty good!"

you hear a gasp, an offended one.

"what do you mean, actually? of course, it'd taste good," he shoots you a glare, holding back an insulted snarl in the back of his throat.

"pfft, okay, okay. you should cook more, embrace your malewife side."

"my what— i will throw this plate at you."

yep, totally worth it.

boyfie!kunikuzushi who suffers because kids love flocking around him. he can't believe he is doing this, but he has no choice but to send you a desperate look that says "help".

this sight in front of you right now is far beyond priceless. seeing your grumpy lover being surrounded by enthusiastic children tugging on his sleeve is too good, too good.

you wonder what exactly attracted them to him? he isn't really someone who looks welcoming — but eitherway, you are enjoying this.

way more than you should, actually.

"d'aww, kuni, the kids love you!"

"...i wanna go home," he deadpans at you lifelessly while the children continue to jump around him.

boyfie!kunikuzushi who snorts when you accidentally hurt yourself but he still cares, at least. (he finds amusement in your clumsiness, one hundred percent.)

"so, i wasn't paying attention and walked into a glass door today—"

"pfft."

"...did you just laugh at my pain?"

"no. anyway, let me see the bruise. put some ice on it."

(at least, he cares.)

boyfie!kunikuzushi who grumbles every time you give him affection like an automated puppet (pun intended).

"ugh, stop doing that," kunikuzushi mumbles through gritted teeth; but not in a hostile way, he looks more... grouchy than anything. as per usual, of course.

you're merely holding his hand and giving it a gentle squeeze, he looks annoyed. but the funny thing is that he is barely resisting your affection at all.

you poke at him jokingly, "what? i'm just squeezing your hand. not like i was trying to squeeze the life out of you."

"it's annoying..." he scoffs before trailing off into a quieter voice, "do it again."

(is this what they call hypocrisy at its best?)

─ ⊹ ⊱ ・・・・・・☆・・・・・・・⊰ ⊹ ─

✰ TAGLIST: @meimeimeirin @hcikazu @tsuk4sa-yug1 @catcze @semi-orangeapple @yuuki4646 @d-a-r-k-s-w-a-n @dearmarri @omgscaramouche @coquettemaiden @lemontum — [ bolded names are unable to be tagged + register here to be a part of my taglist! ]

#genshin x reader #genshin x you #genshin modern au #genshin headcanons #genshin scenarios #genshin imagines #genshin fluff #genshin crack #tighnari x reader #tighnari x you #cyno x reader #cyno x you #alhaitham x reader #alhaitham x you #kaveh x reader #kaveh x you #scaramouche x reader #scaramouche x you #seelestial.inks

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wanderingconstellations · 6 months

Text

"I miss writing." You muttered, looking at your laptop that's resting on your desk. God, you wanted to write so bad, but you don't feel like it either. Whenever you sat down and— get ready to write, nothing comes in mind. It's like whenever you decide to write, your thoughts simply just dissolves and disappears like air.

You groaned in frustration as you struggled to come up with a single idea. None pops up. You don't feel the motivation, it doesn't feel the same. You feel exhausted just by taking a seat in your chair. Unbelievable, right?

"Why don't you just write then?" A voice from behind brings you back to Earth, a familiar voice that always sends butterflies into your stomach. You turned to look at the man, eyes staring directly back at his own. God, you sometimes forget how handsome this man could be.

"What do you know? I can't just write without a plot!" You utter, clicking your tongue in annoyance. Really, you can't. It just doesn't feel right. Without plot, how are your readers going to understand your writings?

Ah, stupid question.

They wouldn't understand without an explanation of what's going on, obviously.

"You think too much. Probably why your brain is all fried."

His words made you groan in response. He's can be such a sarcastic bitch, but he wasn't wrong. You probably overthink too much. Like your followers, requests, studies and how people think of you. Pathetic, really.

"You're right, I guess."

"You guess?" He asks, raising brow. Internally, the way he's looking at you is making you sigh dreamily. "Let me help. I'm not as skilled as you, but I might as well spare ideas." He continues as a sly smirk grows on his lips.

"wait. WAIT. WHAT'S WITH THAT SMIRK ON YOUR FACE?!"

—— SCARAMOUCHE, KAEYA, WRIOTHESLEY, cyno, kaveh, CHILDE, ayato, SAMPO, jing yuan + ANY OF YOUR FAVES 🫶

------

Continue the end with your imagination 🤭

I tried, and decided to end it here. I haven't written in such a long time, sad really. Thank you for my friend for lending me her laptop to use. Mine was accidentally spilled with coffee (sadly). Accidents happen though. It's fine. Hopefully I can get back writing more <3

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fandangotales · 2 years

Note

Head empty just

Sagau but readers cellphone now has infinite battery for some reason and theyre on tiktok and watching genshin edits until one of the acolytes sees and gets curious so reader shows everyone the edits made for then

Zhongli: why am i........geo grandpa

Xiao: morax isn't my father

Yae: what is an........Eiussy and why do these humans want it so bad

Venti: (trying to force scara to have anemo vision after seeing the sad scaramouche edits) BUT THE EDITS, YOUR BACKSTORY IS SCREAMING AIR BOY!!!

Scara: GET THE FUCK OFF ME!!!!

WHOOO MY FIRST REQUEST ASK!!!

anyways-

When I tell you that a phone in TEYVAT would be absolute chaos… I mean it.

I can 99% guarantee you that Albedo has asked to experiment on what he refers to as Their Grace’s “strange device.”

(Please keep your phone away from him, as it will not make it out of his lab intact.)

Other acolytes who aren’t as curious about HOW and WHY it works may find interest on seeing you use your device to watch videos.

The people of Teyvat aren’t familiar with advanced technology, so I’d assume it’s fair to say that they would treat your phone as a Divine Object, comparable to the Anemo Archon’s Holy Lyre.

Since you are The Creator, it would be valued a lot more.

Nobody, not even one of the Archons, is allowed to touch such a holy object. Such a thing would be viewed as incredibly disrespectful. How could any of them, lowly acolytes, have the audacity to come into contact with your beloved “phone”?

Now, assuming that the reader can still watch Tik Toks, of course they would like to share some of them with certain characters, because why not?

Also, why wouldn’t you let them in on some of the jokes that are popular in the Genshin Fandom?

If Zhongli knew that he was referred to as “Geo Grandpa” I think his reaction would be one of initial shock.

“What does the title ‘Geo Grandpa’ indicate, Divine One?”

After a little explanation from you, I think he’d catch on. He is aware of his age, after all.

Others may think that the title “Grandpa” is offensive towards a former archon of all things, but he doesn’t mind as long as you are the one saying it. The term “Grandpa” is often used between mortals in a family, so does this mean that you considered him as family?

Whenever you call him by that name, you can expect to see a soft smile across his features.

When Xiao discovered that the fandom considers his relationship with Morax to be one of father and son, he was speechless for a good minute.

You gave him a look, trying to suppress your laughter.

“So…? You’re not denying it.”

He huffed, crossing his arms. “Morax is not my father.”

You wheezed, clearly amused by his flustered expression. Xiao was avoiding your gaze, clearly trying his best to convince you that he did not see the older man as a father figure.

The term “Eiussy” was completely unknown to the Lady Guuji… until she joined you in watching the short films know as “Tik Toks” on the magical screen of the divine “phone”

Now, Yae Miko is quite clever, so it was only natural that she would grasp the concept of what “Eiussy” meant.

She watched a few videos which featured similar titles, such as “Tartussy”, “Scarussy”, and “Kokussy”. All of them played a key role in her eventual understanding of just what exactly “Eiussy” meant.

The very moment she learns the true meaning, I can guarantee you that she will casually bring it up in conversation.

“Your Grace, you would be welcome at Watatsumi Island anytime!” Gorou beams, waving goodbye to you from the docks of Ritou.

The Watatsumi ship had finally arrived, after a lengthy delay following your business meeting with the Inazuman Officials.

“Thank you, Gorou.” You started to say… but the ever famed doggy general had already boarded the ship, and was out of your sight.

“Hmm…” a recognizable voice trailed, as her hand lightly touched your shoulder. Miko gave you a knowing look. “I guess he wanted to get some of that Divineussy”

Your expression remained blank.

“Perfect use of that title.” You praised, staring after the ship, as it departed into the sunset.

If and when Venti saw all of the sad Scaramouche edits… let’s just say that you’d have to physically restrain him.

Restrain him from making his way over to the Balladeer as soon as possible, that is.

Scaramouche would just be doing Fatui work, maybe trying to convince the recruits that the stars are indeed a lie…

And… bam.

A random ass bard pops up out of nowhere.

“Good day! Would you be interested in gaining an anemo vision?”

“What the fuck.”

#cultau #sagau #genshin impact #genshin impact sagau #genshin cult au #genshin crack #genshin sagau #venti #zhongli #genshin xiao #scaramouche

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dustofthedailylife · 10 months

Text

Cereal Debates

→ Masterlist || → Taglist

Pairing: Alhaitham x (gn!) Reader

Summary: You get the urge to tease your boyfriend every once in a while. And today was another day like that. And what better way to do that than to bring up the age-old question: Is cereal soup?

Tags: Crack, a bit of fluff toward the end

A/N: I wrote this like a possessed woman when I thought about the idea. Especially since Alhaitham HATES soup... and don't we all want to rile him up at times? I sure as hell do, especially since he made me lose three 50/50s on his banner now -.-

You sat on the sofa in the living room, flipping through the daily newspaper and eating a bowl of yogurt with fruits for breakfast.

You suddenly hear the floorboards in the direction of the bedroom creak and not too long after you could hear a yawn and some feet shuffling towards the living room.

“Good Morning.” Alhaitham groaned sleepily.

He rubbed his eyes and squinted as soon as he was faced with the morning sun falling in through the windows. He had always been somewhat of a morning grump and to be honest, it sort of made him look cute.

The disheveled hair and clothes, the imprint of his pillow still on his cheek, the sleepy expression, and the frown as he slurped his coffee in silence every morning. It took all your willpower not to jump and squeeze him tightly. No one would think someone like Alhaitham could manage to look so adorable, but you had proof he did.

“Good Morning! Slept well?”

“Mhm.” He hummed briefly before vanishing into the kitchen without another word. Like mentioned before - morning grump.

You could hear him press the button on the coffee machine before a familiar buzzing sound could be heard from the same device. He seemed to also get himself something to eat since you could hear him clink some bowls together.

Not long after, he emerged from the kitchen with a steaming cup of black coffee and a bowl in hand and sat down at the dining table.

When you decided to join him, your eyes couldn’t help but fall onto the bowl. It was a bowl of cornflakes that he was expressionlessly shoveling into his mouth.

You amusedly bit your lip because you knew he usually hated everything soup-like, and cereal was no exception to that. And you sometimes couldn’t help but want to tease him a little. And this morning the perfect opportunity presented itself to you.

“Never thought I’d see the day you'd eat soup out of your own volition.” You smirked, knowing full well that you said “soup” and not “cereal”.

“We had no more bread left.” He explained with another grumble, putting another spoon full of cornflakes in his mouth before suddenly pausing in his movement and looking back at you completely irritated. “What did you say?” He inquired horrified, with his mouth still half-full.

“I said, I never thought I see you eat soup voluntarily.”

He knitted his brows further before gulping and pointing at his bowl. “This is cereal.”

“Yes, I’m well aware of what it is. I have eyes. Cereal can be considered a soup-like dish.” You stated matter of factly as you bit back a smirk.

You pretended to go back to eating your yogurt and reading your newspaper but you could see his completely shocked and low-key annoyed expression from the corner of your eye.

“Cereal is not soup. Cereal is cereal.” He grumbled.

“Is that so?” You raised an eyebrow in amusement.

“Yes. Soup is a liquid food, especially with meat, fish, or vegetable stock as a base and often contains pieces of solid food.” He recited the definition he knew, only Archons know where, from. Suppressing laughter became harder and harder by the minute, especially seeing how serious he was taking this debate all of a sudden.

“Especially with meat, fish, or vegetable…”, you pondered putting an emphasis on the first word. “So that means it is mostly cooked that way but not always. So milk can serve as a base just as fine. And technically if you use soy milk or pea milk it would count as vegetable stock, no?”

You could see the muscles in his jaw tense as he gazed at you, thinking hard of what to reply. You could practically see the gears turn in his head before he started to smirk triumphantly. You knew him well enough to know that he must’ve come up with, what he thought was, an irrefutable argument.

“There is something you just said. Cooked. No heating in the process of making a bowl of cereal whatsoever. It’s served cold - therefore it isn’t soup.” He leaned back in the chair with a self-satisfied grin, expecting you not to be able to counter his argument further.

But he shouldn’t count the chickens before they’re hatched.

You stayed silent for a minute and already had a counterargument in your head from the get-go. You just wanted to wait until he took a sip from his coffee before you dropped it.

“Explain Gazpacho then.”

You could see his eyes widen and train on you over the rim of his cup before he put it back on the table with a loud thud. He crossed his arms over his chest, looking annoyed once more.

“What about French Vichyssoise? Also not soup according to you, just because they’re served cold?”

“Okay, I get it.” He grumbled once again, before pondering for a brief moment. “But all of these soups have something in common.”

“Oh? Please enlighten me, Grand Sage.” You continued your teasing.

“It’s Acting Grand Sage.” He emphasized, lightly rolling his eyes with a huff. “But anyway. Soup isn’t sweet. Neither of the ones you named is sweet. They’re savory. Cereal is always sweet.”

He smirked at you once again, fully believing he now had you cornered.

Wrong.

“Ginataang Bilo-Bilo, Koldskål, Zenzai…” You started listing sweet soup dishes from all over the world, watching how his face showed an ever-so-slight hint of surprise as well as horror.

“Now you’re just making things up.” He huffed.

“Want me to show you the soup recipe book we have over there on the shelf? Not that you ever looked at it.” You replied with a teasing lilt.

He had his hand clutched so tightly around his spoon by now that his knuckles were beginning to turn white. You knew he hated losing arguments and battles of wits and this wasn’t going in the direction he had imagined at all. Much to your amusement, however. You could practically see little clouds of steam rise from his head because his brain was racing at a million miles per hour. You just knew he was wrecking his brain to come up with a counterargument once again.

“Okay.” he finally said getting up and grabbing something from the kitchen. He came back with a triumphant smile as he placed a raw, unpeeled potato on the table in front of you.

“What’s this?” He asked, motioning in your direction.

“A… potato?” You replied in confusion, unsure where he was trying to go with this.

“Correct.” He nodded, putting one finger on his chin after placing a bowl of dry cereal right next to it and looking at you expectantly.

“That’s cereal.”

“Also correct.”

“Alhaitham, I’m not sure I follow.” You raised an eyebrow at him, still highly amused about how invested he was in this crack debate.

“A potato is a condiment you can make soup from. But a potato by itself is just that - a potato. You have to prepare it in a special way in order for it to become soup. The same goes for everything else you named. Cereal is always cereal, whether it swims in milk, water, broth, or nothing at all.”

“Okay, fair. Can’t refute that argument.” You admitted with a nod, hearing a small sigh of relief from the other side of the table.

You were no longer able to hold back your laughter now that you looked at his borderline exhausted and relieved expression.

“What? Don’t tell me you still have a counterargument?” He inquired as his eyes widened.

You shook your head. “No, I don’t. You should see your face right now though, it’s hilarious. I was just trying to tease you a bit, I didn’t think you’d get this invested.” You wiped a tear out of the corner of your eyes as you continued giggling.

“You–” He grumbled playfully as he clenched his jaw before he started smiling. “Come here!”

He got up from his chair and lifted you out of yours, walking over to the sofa, and throwing you down it together with himself. He started tickling your sides while holding you tightly to his chest so you couldn’t escape his playful attack.

Out of breath from laughing so much you leaned your forehead against his chest before snaking your arms around him.

“I love you, you dork.”

“I love you, too.” He replied, lifting your chin up and pressing a featherlight kiss on your lips. “Even if you start arguments about soup with me first thing in the morning. You’re lucky you’re so cute.”

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kalliyen · 1 year

Text

Seatmate Sweetness

Pairing: 4nemo Boys x GN!Reader (seperate)

Featuring: Venti, Xiao, Heizou, Kazuha, Wanderer

Genre: Fluff, Crack, teasing?? is that a genre idk, school au, modern au

Summary: Seatmates who have a sweet secret crush on you ;)

Reader’s Pronouns: Not specified

Warning: this is gonna be shit cause i haven’t written i so long bye 😘 🤾‍♀️

Disclaimer: ⚠️ ONLY A WORK OF FICTION!

♯ Venti !

Venti as a seatmate would be….interesting to say the least

he’s that kid who’s always late even if he lives literally just across the school

he also has this tendency to sleep in class, when he finds the topic boring

which is, every topic in every subject

but when your homeroom adviser changed the seating arrangements and you were assigned to sit next to him, he started changing

he noticed that you were a very precise person. always at class on time very smart responsible the whole smart kid shebang yk

and when YOU were assigned to seat beside him, you were dreading it. great, now someone was just going to get in the way of your studies.

a few weeks go bye and venti is still the same as ever, slacking off, sleeping in class, and one day he even drooled a bit on your paper, which finally made you snap

luckily there wasn’t any teacher in class at the moment to witness you snapping

let’s just say his cheek was red for the whole day, and not in a good way.

he told his friends about it, which they said he deserved, which made him seethe even more

at night he thought about it, how you would focus in class, how your hair would cover you face when you double checking your notes

you looked adorable while doing it, he thought. now his face got even more red, now this time out of embarrassment

how could he realize he liked you after you slapped him infront of the class? was it a kink or something?

the next day, you apologize to him, which he didn’t even notice or listen to you for that matter, focused on your lips rather than what was coming out of it.

“venti? hello? are you listening?” you say waving your hand around his face

“i know how you can make it up to me y/n” venti starts, “really? what is it?” you say confused, tilting your head to the side

“we could go on a date together!” now both of your cheeks were a rosy pink

♯ Xiao

now xiao here was the silent smart type as we all know, while you were the giddy type who couldn’t seem to stay in your seat

he didn’t really mind it to be honest, you rarely talked to each other. but there was an understanding that you both respected each other’s space.

when your history teacher, mr. zhongli, assigned you together for an assignment, you didn’t really mind. xiao was smart and hot, from what you could tell he was also somewhat kind in his own peculiar way

you worked on it together for the rest of the period, and xiao couldn’t help but notice his heart beating even faster than it did before. it always beated quickly when you were around, which made him feel confuse inside.

after class, he asked his father figure mr. zhongli (wow who would’ve thought i did this)

“i don’t know sir, whenever im near them my heart beats 10 miles an hour, i don’t know if this is a good or bad feeling sir, perhaps whenever im close to them i might meet my demise? is this a sign that something bad will happen if i go near them? should i stay away from them? but i don’t want to stay away from them, their very kind and sweet, albeit sometimes loud, and sometimes i-“

zhongli cuts off xiao before he can utter another word, zhongli comes to the conclusion that his son was very down bad for you.

“it seems that you have developed romantic feelings for y/n. and might i add xiao, i do approve of this liking towards them, they are a very caring and sweet person indeed. this is merely a suggestion, but why don’t you tell them how they make you feel? the school festival is about to commence soon, that would be a good opportunity wouldn’t it?”

xiao thought about it for a minute, yes it was a good idea. but how will he ask you?

zhongli suggests to ask you by word, or if xiao is too nervous then by letter, xiao decides on the latter part.

he goes home that day, on his desk, pen in hand and staring at the paper.

he has so much to say and at the same time, nothing at all. he wants to tell you everything and nothing at the same time. is this what love feels like?

finally after what felt like hours, he’s finished his letter to you, making sure it looks presentable, because you only deserve the best.

he makes sure to wake up extra early the next morning, and make it to school before you do

he places the letter on your desk, and waits for you, anxiously replaying all the possibilities in his head

lucky for him, the outcome he was expecting most, came to fruition

♯ Heizou

heizou here is the diligent yet flirty president of your class. while you were quiet and kept mostly to yourself, choosing to draw in your sketchbook rather than converse with anyone.

it’s not like you didn’t have friends, you just didn’t like talking much.

since you sit on the front beside heizou, your often bombarded with the amount of paper he has piled on his desk because of yhe obscene homeworks the teachers assign you.

it kinda bothers you a bit when you barely have any room to put your things on your side of the desk but you don’t say anything, because every morning heizou sits at his side of the desk you can see his baggy eyes and unkempt hair which makes him 10x more attractive in your opinion. but he didn’t need to know that

during another one of his stress sessions you seem him struggling with a particular project in a subject you were quite good at.

but of course heizou didn’t have any balls to ask anyone for help, having the mindset of “because i am the president, i shan’t let anyone see any weakness.” (which was total bullshit btw)

you meekly tapped his shoulder which made his face bolt directly to you, way closer than he was intending

you offer your help, saying he clearly needed it and at this point heizou doesn’t have the energy to decline, so he listens to you explain the assignment in full detail, taking note how your eyes seems to glint in the sunlight and how your soft hands brushed his slightly calloused ones

he may or may not go to you when there’s an assignment on purpose, even if he fully understands the concept.

he thinks it’s a win win, he can spend more time with you and complete his tasks

(even if he’s just staring at you 99% of the time)

♯ Kazuha

let’s be real this boy is rarely in school

but when he is at school, he’s just sleeping most of the time

when the teachers try to corner him with a question when they catch him dozing off, he manages to answer them correctly

they ignore him after that LMAOOOOO

but when you, transfer to his school in the middle of the year and get assigned next to him, he starts to take a liking to you

you’d make notes for him in class while he sleeps, thinking he had a rough night before, which he finds really nice and so adorable

of course in return, he helps you with concepts you don’t understand or if you’re having trouble understanding japanese

he doesn’t know how he ended up in this situation but right now your in his home, speaking to his moms and having dinner with them

it’s not like he didn’t like that you were at his home, quite the opposite frankly but it turns out that his mothers find out about his little crush on you

all evening his mothers have been indirectly teasing him, even going as far as almost revealing his crush on you

after dinner was finally over, he takes you to his room (his moms gave him teasing winks that made his face all red) and showed you all the memorabilia he’s acquired from his adventures with his moms

you found them so amazing, and when you look back at him he’s stepping forward to you which makes you freeze in place, despite feeling a quick warmth on your lips

your at his house even more often after that event ;)

♯ Wanderer

absolutely HATES GOING TO SCHOOL

but is one of the top students 🤷‍♂️

his aunt makes him go saying that learning is an essential part at life

“auntie that’s bs i don’t-“ he gets slapped in the face

goes to school cause he didn’t wanna get spanked in the face again LMAOOAOAOA

as his deskmate he actually really really likes you, even more than a deskmate actually

but boy has no way to tell you

sometimes he sees that you have nothing to eat for lunch so he gives you his “extra” saying that he doesn’t want you to faint in class, making him take you to the nurse’s office

nahida always wonders why her nephew stays up so late to make food for 2 people, but she doesn’t push the subject further

you thought it was really sweet of him, and his cooking was amazing! why would people say that he’s mean and an arrogant bastard? (he is tho just not to you lol)

you wanna repay him with something, so you decide to make some brownies for him, not knowing he despises sweets

you stay up all night, wanting to make them as perfect as the food he gives you

you pack it in a cute lil bento with a lil thank you note sticked to it and get to bad, excited of what his reaction will be to the pastry you’ve made him

the next do you can clearly see the disinterest in his face when he sees your brownies (he thinks he’s hiding it well he’s really not) which makes you feel really bad

“do you not like them? i can make something else for you, i just wanted to return the favor since you always give me your extra lunch, i’m sorry if this isn’t what you like”

his face goes IMMEDIATELY red with embarrassment, mostly at himself because of how a dumbass he is 💀

“i didn’t mean it with i’ll intent y/n, it’s just that i’m not really fond of sweets, but i would like to try one” he responds an idea popping into his head

“really? what is it? i’ll make it for you! to make up for these ones you don’t like, just give me the recipe and-“ you get cut off by him hooking his fingers under your chin

“you”

——————

a/n: bye this is so cringe if my friends see this they will never let me live this down

if your my friend irl PLEASE RESPECTFULLY STFU 😂😂😂

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dorothy-rainbird · 2 years

Text

Literally can’t stop imagining isekai’d reader accidentally appearing in Genshin but before the main story. Like, they appear right in Inazuma when Ei was just done leaving her first prototype puppet-

Coincidentally our reader appears right before Kunikuzushi is about to witness his second betrayal and saves him in a very chaotic scenario.

Did I forget to mention that reader gets to keep the in game abilities and time having a very slow effect on them ( 1 hour in Teyvat= 1 minute to reader’s body) basically making them semi-immortal? Yeah reader is op in this fight me.

____________________

Kunikuzushi walked the streets of Inazuma, fascinated but confused by the world around him. He was all alone with no knowledge on how to blend in….

As he walked he could feel others staring and whispering. He did not like it. He was just wondering what to do next when a loud noise from the stalls behind him caught his attention. He turned around.

In one of the food stalls, a person had just fell into the fruit crates from the above set of stairs. Did they jump? They were groaning while the owner of the stall was yelling at them. They wore…peculiar clothing. In fact they looked very peculiar, so different from everybody else.

Kunikuzushi was snapped out of his thoughts when he heard the Shogunate Samurai yelling “GET THEM” from the same place from where the stranger fell. Before he could even blink, the stranger jumped from the crate and ran towards him. They grabbed his wrist and continued their dash.

“Bonjour, I’m here to fuck with the timeline! And you’re included!”, the stranger declared. Kunikuzushi wonders what “fuck” means but with the shogunate samurai on his tail he decides to focus on running instead.

“WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT ARE YOU DOING?” He was confused and mildly scared that a random stranger just appeared out of nowhere decides to kidnap him.

“NO TIME FOR THAT HONEY JUST HANG ON!”

“???”

Ah, he hadn’t noticed that they are running into a dead end that is a massive wall. The stranger was unfazed tho.

Without stopping, they swooped him up bridal style and JUMPED onto a roof beside them. But because of the samurai still after them, they proceeded to parkour out of the city with Kunikuzushi still in their arms. The lad was screaming the whole time lol.

———————————————

The duo managed to escape the city and reach Chinju forest. The stranger panted for air and carefully let Kunikuzushi down. He scooted a good distance away when they did.

Exhausted, the stranger crotched down in front of him, still breathing loudly.

“W-who are you and why did you kidnap me??” Kunikuzushi fearfully asked again, but this this time there were a few sparks of electro around him…

Better start explaining.

“Listen pal, you don’t have to be scared. I ain’t gonna hurt you-“

“Then why did you kidnap me!”

“As I said, I’m not gonna hurt you. If I wanted so then I could have done it the way here.” The stranger replied with a poker face. Kunikuzushi gulped.

“Well then why were you being chased a-and…why did you kidnap me…?”

The stranger huffed and sat down.

“Guess I better explain it to you then…” they met his eyes, he was cautious. Speak wisely.

“*Ahem* Uh…well..you see…” He was staring intently. Don’t slip up about the game’s story or anything about the whole game in fact.

“I’m your…uh…guardian-“

“Guardian?”

“Uh- angel!”

“Guardian angel?” He tilted his head curiously.

“NO! I mean- I’m definitely anything but an angel h-haha..”

“You’re a d-demon?” His fear was back.

“NO NO! I’m uh…your guardian…” they looked into his eyes. And then finally spoke.

“FRIEND!”

“…..??”

“…I’m your guardian friend!”

A very awkward silence rung into ears. He stared. For a good few seconds until…

“You’re my…guardian friend?” He asked, a small curiosity in his eyes.

“YES! I mean- yeah, pretty much.” They smiled.

“B-but…is it normal for friends to kidnap each other??”

Fuck.

How are they going to explain that?

Well, worth a shot.

They took a deep breath and-

“Well you see…guardian friends are very special creatures. They are barely seen in Teyvat. And when the samurai saw me, they thought I was some sort of immigrant and tried to arrest me. I’m sorry I couldn’t greet you normally-“

“How do I know you are my guardian friend? Or how do I know if they actually exist and you’re not some crazy person? And what even was that “fucking with timeline” thing?” He was cautious again but the curiosity never left his eyes.

The stranger smirked. Time to put that in game knowledge in use, eh?

“I’m a person from the future version of Teyvat. Every once a while. Special people are chosen to time travel back into time to do whatever they want. I chose to be your guardian friend because you definitely need one. How would you explain my attire?” The stranger began explaining but Kunikuzushi had his doubts. He was about to interrupt when-

“I also know you like the back of my hand Kunikuzushi.”

He froze. The stranger continued.

“Let’s see, made as a prototype puppet for gnosis but-“

“OKAY OKAY I BELIEVE YOU” He quickly stopped them.

“Heh, you do?” The amused stranger raised an eyebrow.

“Y-yeah…but tell me, what do guardian friends do? I’ve never heard of them.”

With that question the stranger started giggling. Kunikuzushi tilted his head. Did he ask something weird? The stranger got up and with a cheerful smile,

“Ohohoho! That’s simple my friend! Guardian friends are just like guardian angels but more fun!”

“More….fun…?”

“Yep, we basically guide you and all but also provide company. Like a partner in your shenanigans. A friend! An amigo! A chum! A family!”

“A…family..?” He asked confused.

“Oh…do you not know what a family is?”

“No. What is a family?”

The stranger sighed with a small smile and offered him a hand. He was hesitant for a second but took it.

“Join me for a walk buddy, I’ll explain everything.”

He nodded and they strolled around the forest, hand in hand.

“A family is a special person, or a group of people. Don’t matter if human or animal.” The stranger plucked a flower and tucked it in his hair.

“They feel familiar. They feel comfortable. Like the warmth of a small flame.”

A few crytalflies fluttered overhead.

“No matter what happens you can always return to them. They are your home, somewhere you can rest when you are tired of the world.”

“…Do I have a family?”

“Not yet, but you do have a friend.”

“Can friends be family..?”

“They can.”

“So are you my family?”

“That is up to you to accept me as one.”

…..

A comfortable silence was enjoyed as the two friends sat underneath a tree, watching the glowing plants and creatures of the forest.

“I never got your name.”

“It’s y/n.”

_________________

BONUS

Kunikuzushi: Y/n what does “fuck” mean?

Y/n: *chokes on air*

Also here is part 2

#genshin scara #genshin impact #scaramouche #kunikuzushi #genshin x reader #genshin isekai #isekai #scaramouche x y/n #scaramouche x reader #scaramouche x you #genshin fluff #genshin crack #genshin x y/n #genshin x you

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