#this probably does not make any sense but
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₊˚⊹｡ big gym energy (is this my fantasy?) | fushiguro toji
wc: 2.0k
summary: who would have thought the rippest DILF in all of Japan would get you to go to the gym everyday?
contains: gn!reader, non-curse au, college au, appearance of itafushikugi (mostly nobara), reader has a huge and lowkey delusional crush on toji, age gap
a/n: the gym toji fic! tone in this is a bit different from what i write, and it's lowkey a crack fic but i hope it's still enjoyable! listened to: big energy - latto & area codes - kaliii
part of the in's and out's new year/birthday event | request
prompt: going to the gym for yourself (and totally not for that cute guy who sometimes says hi)
“You’re going to the gym?” Nobara halts smack in the middle of the busy hallway. Groans huff behind her, the rest of your class filing out of the lecture hall. You bow your head apologetically as you pull her to the side.
“Yes.”
She squints, skeptical, “You.”
You nod.
“The gym.” she says it slower this time, tilting her head down.
You nod again.
Nobara blinks, shifting her weight as she reaches one hand inside the pocket of her overalls. There’s a long pause, rushed footsteps amplifying the suspense, then—
“Okay, what’s the bet? How much did Maki put out? I want in.”
You roll your eyes, shaking your head as you loop your arm around hers and continue walking.
There’s good reason for her to doubt you; she knows you best after all. In your little quad, you are the least likely to be found doing any physical activity or sport whatsoever—and that’s saying a lot, considering the other fourth of your group is Megumi. But at least he walks his dogs regularly.
“Rude,” you scoff jokingly, “there’s no bet, just testing it out because they have a free trial promo.”
It shouldn’t hurt to check it out, you think. One of your resolutions this year is to finally get started on your fitness journey, whatever form it may be.
“You should come.”
Nobara snorts, “Wrong person,” you both turn at a corner, “ask Itadori.”
The gym is just a few blocks away from your campus, a good 18-minute walk if you’re counting—which is also part of what makes it so appealing. The ad you’d seen for the free trial is an early bird promo to attract new customers for the gym’s new branch launch.
And it does make the most sense to ask him; he is the sports science major after all—
“No way,” you step out on the sidewalk, “telling him is practically committing to a membership.”
—but Yuuji is a bit too eager when it comes to things like this. No doubt he’ll be at your heel, wagging his figurative golden retriever tail at the prospect of being your certified gym buddy. It’s endearing and you know he means well, but that’s way too much pressure for someone who’s just starting out.
She laughs, readjusting her bag, “He’d know how to use the machines though.”
“I watched some videos…” you mumble, because Nobara has a point, but if you’re being honest, you feel just a teensy bit embarrassed at the idea of anyone else knowing about your attempts at fitness this early on, lest it fail in the end. “I can probably ask someone there…”
“Try the most jacked up person in the gym.”
You shove her jokingly, her laughter echoing down the road.
.
The first person you meet at the gym is the lady at the front desk. Her ponytail sways as she greets you, a chirpy smile welcoming you in as she holds an iPad to her chest while touring you around—at the center, the main floor plan is decked out with machines; towards the back sit the squat racks, and to your sides are the private cycling rooms and multifunctional spaces. According to her, they also offer yoga classes every 6:00 p.m. on Wednesdays.
You’d expected a lot more people to be in here at 7:00 p.m., but you suppose it makes sense others would prefer to spend their Friday nights elsewhere.
Looking around, you spot a middle-aged lady you swear is Megumi’s English professor; on the treadmills, a couple your age share a laugh as they try to match pace. There are some machines you’ve never even seen in your life, Youtube videos included.
You take a deep breath. You can ask for help.
After all, the crowd feels friendly enough, not too intimidating—
—until your eyes land on him, on the benches; an absolute tank of a man doing chest presses with what you think are probably the heaviest dumbbells on the rack.
You try not to stare, catching only a glimpse of the way his biceps flex against the tight sleeves of his black compression shirt.
Don’t be a creep, you tell yourself, walking towards the leg press machine. You may be new here, but you’ve learned that gym etiquette isn’t so far off from acting like a civilized human being.
Thank god you never take Nobara seriously, because you can’t even imagine the stuttering mess you’d be if you had to ask him how to work any of these god forsaken machines.
.
It’s a good thing, then, that help comes to you without you having to say a word.
This is number four out of five sessions in your free trial promo, and you have no idea how to get the goddamn plates out of the barbell. You pull some out from the other side and the whole barbell comes along with it. When you attempt the other side, it does the same. Then when you finally do manage to get off the plates on one side, the whole barbell drops, clanging loudly against the metal foot of the squat rack set-up.
(Now that you think about it, maybe it isn’t such a good thing that you’ve been offered help instead of you asking. There must be a reason someone thinks you could need it.)
Someone, who is also the last person you could ever possibly want to embarrass yourself in front of.
Someone, who just so happens to be the jacked up tank of a man you’ve admittedly glanced at a few times in your past few visits here.
“To make it easier,” he crouches beside you, laying down a smaller plate and rolling the larger ones on the barbell over it.
He unloads them like they weigh nothing—and with his physique, it isn’t hard to believe that they probably do. His biceps look to be the size of your head, chest popping out in ways you’ve only seen on those Tiktok thirst edits; his one hand is larger than a 2.5 kilogram plate, and his forearms look like they could ch—
Mind out of the gutter, you blink away, focusing instead on the metal bar in front of you.
God, you don’t even know this man’s name.
“T-thanks.” you stutter, embarrassed.
He gives you a half-smile, lips turned on one side, “Sure.” then he walks away, the tightness of his black compression shirt hugging the ridges of his back muscles.
You gulp.
So begins your year-long gym membership.
(And maybe, just maybe, the kind-of-meet-cute of a lifetime. Who knows, really?)
.
“Who would have thought the rippest DILF in all of Japan would get you to go to the gym everyday,” she snorts, fingers grazing over the curved edges of the heart-shaped watermelons in the fruit aisle.
You hush her, scanning the area around you for anyone who might have overhead.
It’s 11:00 p.m. on a Thursday, so you doubt it, but you can never be too sure.
“He’s nice, you know.” you pout.
“Yeah, what’s his name?” Nobara gives you a look.
You glare, touché.
Maybe you don’t know his name. Yet.
But he’s always offered to stack on the heavy plates for you, and will oftentimes help in unloading them too. There are times when you aren’t quite sure how to work the machines and he swoops in like the gym buff version of prince charming, teaching you proper form just so you don’t get injured. He’ll wipe down a mat for you to use some days, because—
“Stretching is important,” he never fails to mention.
He’s nice.
And you have an insanely delusional crush on him, but you don’t care, because why else would he be giving you this much attention if he wasn’t interested in you too?
.
You find out many things about your gym crush, most of them completely unexpected.
One: his hair is unusually soft for someone who looks so rough. Or, well, you think it looks soft, you can’t tell for sure; you haven’t actually touched it to be able to tell. The black mop on his head falls flat over his eyes on the few days you assume are right before his next scheduled haircut. It surprises you even more when he walks in the gym with a small hair tie holding his bangs up.
Two: he does a considerable amount of bodyweight exercises for someone his size—Calisthenics, specifically.
You watch him pull himself up the bar, biceps and back straining against the movement. The muscles ripple across the fabric of his tee, and it’s impressive how smoothly he’s able to go up and down; as if he isn’t exerting any effort at all. Then, the push-ups and dips. He can do them all, in every variation you never even thought existed, and it’s always done with so much ease.
It gives you reason to believe that he could be gentle, controlled. In what? Well. You know.
Three: he likes fruity things. You expected his go-to to be straight black, maybe a chocolate protein shake on other days too. But he shows up one day with a smoothie in the shade of vibrant magenta. Dragonfruit, you assume, from all the black specks floating in it.
This also happens to be the first time you initiate the conversation with him.
“Your smoothie looks good,” you mumble, a little hesitant.
God, so awkward.
He looks up from adjusting the plate stoppers on your bar.
A hum rumbles from his throat before he flashes you the same half-smile he always does, “Strawberry, banana, and dragonfruit.”
You don’t really know what to say after that other than, “Cool.”
And you mentally facepalm yourself.
.
In your fourth month at the gym, you learn a few more unexpected things that change everything.
You’ve just finished freshening up and you’re on the way out when you bump into—
“Megumi?”
He looks up from his phone, dark strands hitting the tips of his eyelashes as he pushes back one side of his headphones. He raises an eyebrow, confused and surprised.
“You gym?”
“What’re you doing here?”
Pink dusts his cheeks as he ducks his head, motioning for you to go first.
“Sorry,” you chuckle, adjusting the strap of your duffel bag, “I started going here a few months ago. You?”
He looks a little surprised by it, probably more so at the fact that you’ve kept it a secret from him for so long, but he nods, “That’s good. You did mention wanting to work on your fitness more this year.” then, he shifts, adjusting his weight before hanging his headphones by his neck.
“I’m waiting for my dad.”
In the past few years you’ve known Megumi, he’s never mentioned his dad. You never bothered to ask because you suspected there was a good reason he never talked about him in the first place.
And so comes number four, and maybe the last unexpected thing you find out about your gym crush—
“Megumi!”
You both turn around to the voice of none other than Nobara’s proclaimed rippest DILF in Japan; the most jacked up tank of a man who also happens to be the man you’ve crushed hard on for the past four months.
Everything is snapping into place, information forming bridges you would rather not cross right now.
He walks up to Megumi, duffel bag slung across his chest as he reaches for your friend.
Megumi looks like he wants to wither away, embarrassed at you seeing him tucked under his dad’s arm. But all your brain can really comprehend is that Megumi, your good friend, is currently squished between the bicep and chest you’ve been staring at since your first day at the gym.
You hold your breath, the realization creeping to the forefront of your mind. There had been signs that your gym crush was a dad; apart from being built like one, he’d offhandedly mention ‘son’ a few times. You didn’t think it would be—
“Oh, you two know each other?” your gym crush tilts his head, turning to you, “you didn’t tell me your friend signed up for this gym, Megumi.”
“I didn’t know,” Megumi grumbles, and the look on his face can rival yours, for sure. Tough competition on ‘who looks like they want to die the most right now?’.
But he can’t win.
Because when Megumi begrudgingly introduces your gym crush to you as his dad, you’re pretty sure you’ve buried yourself twelve feet underground.
(It doesn’t ease the embarrassment when you learn unexpected thing number five: he’s been a trainer at the gym this entire time.)
thank you notes: to @twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat for encouraging me all the way!! ily ari
comments, tags, and reblogs are greatly appreciated ♡
#toji x reader#toji fushiguro x reader#jjk x reader#fushiguro itadori x reader#jujutsu kaisen x reader#toji x yn#toji fluff#toji x y/n#toji x you#fushiguro toji x you#toji fushiguro x you#jjk#toji#shotorus.writes#shotorus.events#in's and out's event
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Lactation Influencers... Are Y'all Okay?
I dislike clickbait headlines as much as the next Gen Xer, but that does not make me immune to them. Thus, when I saw this headline...
Cookbook author speaks out following controversy over lactation cookies ad
...I had so many questions that demanded answers. I had to click.
Friends, I was not prepared for the journey I was about to embark on.
Before I even got to the first line of the article, this assaulted my eyes:
Whatever I was expecting, it wasn't that.
From the article:
Molly Baz is speaking out following controversy over a Times Square billboard featuring the pregnant cookbook author promoting lactation cookies.
...
Brex, the company that sponsored Swehl's billboard, told ABC News the ad was removed following a message from Clear Channel, which owns the digital billboard. According to Brex, Clear Channel said the image depicted was "flagged for review."
Okay, but... lactation cookies?
According to Baz, the concept was meant to "empower" pregnant women and the cookies in the ad are marketed to help postpartum moms produce nutrient-dense breast milk.
*looks it up*
Y'all. They're called "BIG TITTY COOKIES"
I'll give you a minute to breathe through it.
Eye-rolling aside, this isn't the worst product I've ever heard of and, hey, maybe the cookies are good.
So why did Clear Channel want the ad gone? The answer to that isn't straightforward for a couple of reasons.
They did not remove the ad or even ask it to be removed from their billboard.
Molly Baz decided to use this opportunity tragedy to raise her profile as a lactation influencer the alarm about how men are misogynist (????).
"It's super disheartening and infuriating to me that my, kind of, first public foray into being a public mother was one that was deemed inappropriate," Baz said.
Said Baz, "From my perspective, the imagery that we put together was no different from any of the other ads that are in Times Square."
"[T]ake one look at the landscape of other billboards in times square and i think you'll see the irony. bring on the lingerie so long as it satiates the male gaze," Baz wrote...
I feel I can confidently say that I'm not being sex negative when I retort: MA'AM, what?
"There's a bit of a history of, I will say, a double standard that when bodies, specifically breasts are shown when it comes to selling lingerie, let's say, that's more acceptable but when it's something having to do with prenatal wellness or postnatal care, nursing, that tends to get flagged and we see a little bit of backlash," [Zoe Ruderman, a chief content officer for Adweek], added.
I know this is true in general, but in this case, is that what's really going on? After all, Clear Channel didn't even take the ad down permanently, and the marketing company provided an alternate ad without even being asked. One has to wonder if this is a manufactured controversy.
I say that even though I know full well that there is a double standard when it comes to women's bodies and whose gaze is being catered to and when it comes to lactating mothers, lactation, and women's health. That said, there's no way this image wasn't chosen for its Male Gaze Worthiness.
It's not the amount of exposed flesh, which isn't any worse than any lingerie or bikini ad. It is that this woman is holding cookies up to her breasts next to text that says "Just add milk" and the name of a website/company that is probably well-known to people who are or want to be pregnant and little known outside of that. If I were in Times Square, looked up, and saw that? I'd assume it's an ad for a sex fetish bakery.
In all honesty, the thing I assumed was controversial (before clicking) was that someone had posted an ad for cookies made using human breast milk. That would have made somewhat more sense as a controversy.
There's no way everyone involved in "concepting" this campaign (yes, they used concept as a verb in their official statement) didn't know this was a possible reaction or outcome. They appear to have expected it. Which is why they immediately had another ad to replace it and some very RAH RAH WOMEN! Down with the Patriarchy! social media posts likely on deck. That's real feminist of you, becky.
The disingenuousness of it all bothers me the most. Just because the social justice issue they're highlighting is real doesn't mean they are somehow champions of the cause because they dared to show a pregnant belly on a billboard. If anyone complained, I doubt their complaint was based on a prejudice against lactating mothers or that lactation was hinted at.
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I'm involved in a Stanley Reblog Chain and put effort into these drawings so I'll post them here too.
[The other characters belong to insomniphic / beartitled / and marionette-j2x]
[Just me rambling underneath!] ↓
Tumblr has a tag limit and it grates my nerves to no end to know that I can't ramble as much as I'd like to...
Stanley and the bad bitch he pulled by being a loser. Imagine having a hot babe deform reality just to be together with you because he sensed you were feeling lonely without him. [WHEN IS IT MY TURN?!]
It's funny because with the general vibe of their AU, it would make sense for him to show up in the most flashy but also unnerving way possible. The Narrator's [Black's] arrival has to grab people's eyes since attention and views are what he's all about.
I wasn't sure what type of characterization they had so I just played it safe and [tried to] draw how my characters would respond instead of blindly guessing how the others would talk or act around each other. [My Stanley is antisocial and an anxiety-ridden freak.]
Also, I've been wondering what their height differences actually were when I saw my Stanley have to look up at Marionette's Narrator [since this guy is pretty damn tall] so I did a bit of digging and this was what I found.
I had a lot of fun making this by the way. It's been a while since I've participated in any Reblog Chains that involved character interactions and making comics, so it's a real throwback to when I first started posting TSP art in 2023.
Stanley here is an absolute social shutoff teehee, but he does talk back when talked to. His responses usually leave no openings to continue the conversation though. He's the type of guy to stay on the corner and watch everyone else.
As for the Narrator [Black] he's a bit strange. He's proper in public, but he doesn't think the other people are special [or not as special as he is at least]. He just doesn't care to be honest, he keeps to himself [along with Stanley] and that's it. It's a miracle for Stanley to have even pulled somebody like Black considering their personalities are the type to clash with one another. [They love each other though, genuinely. Despite how deranged they can be towards each other sometimes, that development took a long time to be nurtured into something healthier for those two.]
Also, 4th wall breaking in action!!!!!!!!!!!
Black didn't want to interrupt this comic since it was made for Stanley but after the other three came in he lost reservations and came in as well.
These two would probably just stay in their own spot [somewhere quiet and more alone]. This place is a bit too crowded for their liking. But I would be very happy to jump on any opportunity to make my guys interact with the others!!!!! Don't be afraid to throw a bone [prompt] for me to bite on, okay?
[Oh no, I just realized Black looks like he has boobs on the last picture. He DOES NOT have boobs!! Sorry man boob enjoyers, it's the lighting that made it look that way wuwuwu...]
[Copy and Pasting the tags of my other post because I am NOT re-writing all of this...]
#the stanley parable#the stanley parable ultra deluxe#tspud#tsp#tsp au#narrator tsp#tsp narrator#stanley tsp#tsp stanley#stanarator#stannarrator#stanarrator#stannarator#my drawing museum
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Twst Kinks And Shit They Like To Do During Sex: Heartslabyul
Let's fucking go I've been wanting to do this for a while now. (Tws ahead of time in case I get some crazy kink going on one of the characters because.... yeah.... there might be some strange kinks in here that aren't common.... so.... idk) (I was gonna do sex positions, but then I realized I don't know any.....)
Riddle:
*sigh* As much as I hate to say it, he'd definitely have a mommy kink. Even if you're a dude or gn, he'd want to call you mommy so fucking bad.
He absolutely has to be on top during sex. He doesn't have to be dom, but he just has to be able to look down on you. He hates being on the bottom.
Trey:
Because I can't get it out of my head, but Trey has an oral kink. Like, anything oral, he's into. And after sex, he loves to help you brush your teeth. (Cause I can't get the stupid yandere thought out of my head of him brushing your teeth for you.)
Also, probably likes to keep snacks by the bed for after sex so that y'all have something nummie to munch on afterwards. He'd make them himself, and you'd always know which days he's gonna ask for sex based on what he bakes.
Cater:
I feel like he'd have a praise kink. Giving and receiving. I've just got this vibe I get from Cater that he's depressed and needs love, so I feel like he'd need praise during sex. (Not that he wouldn't be into degradation, just he'd only like giving for that)
Sex videos sex videos sex videos. All on his phone. He'll show them off to you when y'all are alone. You never even notice when he's recording, yet he gets the cleanest videos you've ever seen.
Ace:
Bro def has a degradation kink. Receiving or giving. He loves teasing and being teased, and I feel like he'd get such a hard on from being insulted by his lover. (idk if teasing falls into degredation, but imma say it does)
Also, I feel like he'd love hair pulling. If you pull his hair during sex, he will probably cum in the next few minutes, even if you don't even touch him. He just loves it when you pull his hair.
Deuce:
Hmmm.... He probably wouldn't admit it, but I feel like he's got a pet play kink. I know that seems far-fetched, but it's just a feeling. And I feel like he'd like to be the one being the pet. He'd get all the dog outfit shit he needed and sit like a good little boy for you.
Pfft- sorry. I just thought of something for this. Since Deuce is an athlete, I feel like he'd have a semi-size kink, but for muscles, y'know? But not really a kink, he just likes to show off his muscles during sex cause he thinks it's cool. I don't know if that makes sense, but I think it's a funny thought.
So yeah. I'll get the others out eventually. This one's really fun for me. No fucked up kinks yet. (though I really hate mommy and daddy kinks so.... Riddle's makes me uncomfy....)
#twst#disney twst#twisted wonderland#disney twisted wonderland#heartslabyul#heartslabyul x reader#heartslabyul x reader smut#twst x reader#twst x reader smut#disney twst x reader#disney twst x reader smut#twisted wonderland x reader#twisted wonderland x reader smut#disney twisted wonderland x reader#disney twisted wonderland x reader smut
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Spirit Meets the Bones XXII
Genre: Angst/Romance/Drama
Warnings: Mentions of physical abuse.
Please note: There will be heavy subjects discussed that may be triggering.
*This chapter was previously part of chapter 21 (which again, was 30 pages?? insane) and as I have been editing and reuploading the chapters, I have since decided to split chapter 21 into two.
shoutout to @abruisedmuse for being my number one on this journey!
tagging: @climb-the-mountian / @vanserrass / @zenkindoflove / @animezinglife / @teddyhoneybear / @readthelastpaage / @positivewitch / @krem-does-stuff / @clockwork-ashes / @carolynmezzosoprano / @carnythian / @runningwiththeoceans / @secret-third-thing / @readychilledwine / @goldenmagnolias / @thedarkinmansfield / @mali22 / @maidr-00 / @electromagnetic-waves / @eastofatlanta / @moobell55 / @bibliophiliaxvignette / @devilsfoodcake22 / @moonfawnx / @weesablackbeak / @ladywhilemia / @alohaangels / @eachies / @feysandfeels / @thelovelymadone / @corcracrow / @dawneternal / @sinnerrsworld / @gracie-rosee / @stormycleric / @queenofnothing1998 / @wolvesnravens / @theeternalstruggle / @the-midnightwriter / @illyrianvalkyrie / @that-golden-lyre / @ladystarrynight
Find it all here.
Something was wrong.
Iris had started to sense it not too long after Eris had left; a sense of unease worked its way through her chest and twisted in her gut. She tried to brush off the worry — today had been a whirlwind and Finn showing up suddenly was probably adding to the stress she was already feeling. Eris would be fine. He should be fine. Even if he was taking longer than she expected.
She let herself focus on other things while she waited, mindlessly tidying the room, washing up for bed, and lastly, actually choosing something she deemed indecent to wear to bed.
It was a beautiful olive-green gown, the material satin with lace trimmings that seemed to have been made for her, hugging her body in a way she knew would send her husband into a nice little spiral. Or, at least she hoped it would. It was also much shorter than she’d ever worn around Eris, barely reaching her midthigh, and that — well, that made her a little more nervous than she’d like to be.
It was just skin after all. She’d gradually been showing him a little more skin with each new set but never…never this much. Iris flushed deeply and then frowned at her reflection.
“Get over yourself,” she mumbled. “It’s not like you don’t want him to touch you.”
Because she did. If his kisses were any indication, Eris would likely be the death of her, and that had her feeling very nervous. But she had a nice long robe that would make her feel more secure.
At least until they talked and she got answers to her questions.
Today had been challenging in its own way but this moment, choosing to be a little more intimate with him…this was for her. For the way he had been making her feel the past few weeks. For the way his eyes always watched her with just a little hunger and a whole lot of amusement.
But mostly…it was for the way his voice had dropped when he had made his request earlier. He had asked so politely. It would be bad manners to refuse.
If he’d just hurry up and come back already.
Iris had been standing in front of the vanity, fidgeting slightly with the thin strap of her nightgown when a sharp tug to her ribcage had her freezing. A gasp left her lips as she steadied herself and the dread she had been trying to keep at bay came back in full force. She felt panicked. She felt — she felt pain.
Something was wrong and she didn’t understand what that was. That — that tug.
With shaking hands, she quickly slipped the robe over her gown and tied it firmly, rushing to her door and yanking it open.
She staggered to a halt in the doorway when one of Eris’s commanders turned to face her and she blinked in surprise.
“Oren?” she asked and straightened. “What’s going on? Why are you here?”
The general took a moment to scan the hall, empty except for the two of them then took a small step towards her and gave her a tight smile. “His Royal Highness, Prince Eris wished for you to have some additional protection at this time,” Oren said calmly but Iris’s heart stuttered in her chest. She didn’t miss the usage of the formal title, especially when Oren and Eris were considered friends.
“Where is he?” she demanded. “He was supposed to be meeting with Finn earlier. Has something happened?”
The tight smile remained on Oren’s face. “The High Lord requested him earlier. He sent me here before he went.”
Iris inhaled sharply, her grip tightening on the doorframe as another sense of unease washed over her. “I knew something was wrong,” she said quietly and Oren narrowed his eyes at her.
“What do you mean?”
“Something is wrong. I can feel it.” Iris said and rubbed a hand to her forehead. “I’m going to change then go find —”
“I can’t let you leave,” Oren stated and Iris froze.
“Excuse me?”
Oren winced and Iris cocked a brow as he took a breath. “I am under orders to watch over you,” he said more gently. “Until he returns from his meeting with the High Lord.”
“He’s never had someone stand guard when he meets with the High Lord,” she said quietly, and again, she felt that flutter of panic as Oren’s lip thinned.
“It seems, the High Lord is angrier than usual.”
Iris bit her lip and then let out a breath. He was angry with Eris and Iris knew without a doubt, it had to be because of her. Because of her horrible father. “Fuck.” she mumbled and Oren gestured gently to the room behind her.
“I suggest you wait inside.”
“How am I supposed to wait when I know that —” she began then cut herself off in frustration, knowing she couldn’t say anything about the High Lord that wouldn’t get back to him. “How can I just wait when I’m telling you I can sense something is wrong!”
Oren gave her a look she didn’t quite understand then again, gently said, “I know it might be hard to wait but it’s better for you and him that you stay here. He’ll worry about you less.”
Worry about her. As if she cared about herself at this moment. Knowing what she knew about Beron, she wouldn’t be surprised if he was tearing into Eris for not beating Iris alongside her father. She ran a hand through her hair and bit her lip, holding back a string of curses.
The High Lord needed Eris. Surely, he wouldn’t do anything — but Iris immediately shook her head. The High Lord would do whatever he wanted to his son.
And she could do nothing to protect him.
Shame and anger coiled in her stomach and Iris wished there was more she could do — anything she could do other than sit here and wait.
She glanced at the commander once more who only gave her a nod. She sighed.
“You don’t have to wait outside. I’ll be fine,” she said quietly. “No one can come in here without my permission.”
Oren gave her a small smile. “I know. But I am loyal to one male and one male only,” he said. “And I will do as he requested of me.”
Iris watched Oren carefully. So it seemed he knew all about Eris and the way things were with the High Lord. He’d also been a friend and commander of his for so long…but she had to ask, “Why?”
The corner of the commander’s mouth shifted up. “Because I see what he’s been trying to do. And I believe in him,” he said then gestured with his chin behind her again. “I’ll be here if you need anything until he returns.”
Knowing she’d been dismissed, Iris turned to go back into her rooms. Oren had distracted her briefly but as she slowly shut the door, her hands started to shake again. She couldn’t help the guilt threatening to consume her, couldn't help the twist in her gut. How long would Beron keep his son? What would he do to him?
Her eyes flickered to the grandfather clock sitting in the corner of their living space and she frowned. It was already so late in the evening. How much longer would this meeting take?
But an hour went by. Then several more.
And Iris spent the time pacing around their room, fighting back her anxiety and holding herself back from running past Oren and finding her husband herself.
She had been seated, curled up on their bed trying and failing to distract herself when she heard the familiar thud of their door closing and leaped to her feet.
“You took so long! I started to think —” Iris started but the rest of the words died in her throat at the sight of Eris in front of her.
Heat filled the room almost immediately as Iris halted a few feet away from him.
Her husband stood before her and Iris wasn’t sure where to look. At the now tattered jacket somehow still on his body. At the blood dripping from him. Or his hair that now barely reached the nape of his neck. She couldn’t stop staring, her heart rate increasing at the cold detachment on his face and the dead look in his eyes that set her on edge.
Iris tried to swallow, to hold back the horror and panic going through her body, to calm her shaking hands.
“What — what happened?” she asked carefully, taking a step closer to him. Eris’s gaze dropped to her feet and the step she took closer to him then back up to her face.
A beat of silence passed. Then another. Eris watched her, barely blinking and Iris didn’t dare move or say anything more as her fingers curled into the fabric of her robe.
Slowly and without saying a word, Eris gestured to his body, to the state he was in, and Iris tried to keep her expression from falling, tried to curb the slight panic clogging in her throat. Once again, Eris only glanced down and then back up at her but this time, she saw wildfire in his eyes. The room’s temperature spiked and Iris felt her chest tighten as anger surged around them.
Eris wasn’t angry, no. He was seething. Fuming.
He took a step towards her, his hands clasped behind his back and her heart started to beat frantically at the flame that licked at his heels.
“Eris,” she started gently. “Tell me what happened.”
The Prince of Autumn cocked his head as his wild eyes watched her and Iris knew whatever had happened, whatever the High Lord had done to him, it was bad enough that Eris had gone someplace far, far away. And her Eris was not back yet.
His eyes narrowed on her and Iris couldn’t find it in her to say anything more, her body tensing instead. She wanted him to say something, anything to fill the silence between them, where the only sound she could hear was the frantic beating of her heart. Her husband had not returned as he had left and she wasn’t sure if he fully would. She wasn’t sure what to do with herself that would help him, that would ease whatever was going through his mind right now.
It was as she opened her mouth once more that Eris moved, taking one step towards her and Iris paused. She willed herself not to flinch as his hands lowered from behind his back and knew Eris had clocked the movement. His hands wouldn’t hurt her but it still didn’t stop her from watching them carefully.
They watched each other silently.
And Eris wanted to reply to her question, to speak, but he was having a hard time trying not to vomit. He was having a hard time trying to remember how to breathe properly. He had lost consciousness at some point enduring his father’s wrath and had woken up to find himself lying in his own blood. He didn’t remember being untied, and he didn’t know how much time had passed, but he knew he needed to check on his mother. He knew he needed to get back to his wife.
So Eris had forced himself to stand on trembling legs, his wits barely about him. He forced himself to leave the throne room and muster what willpower he had left to winnow in front of his parent’s chambers. And Eris had waited, barely able to stand as his blood dripped from him to hear something, anything to indicate that his mother was alright. But Eris had heard nothing and he didn’t know if the deafening silence was worse than the cries of pain he had expected. Only when black dots began to line his vision had he finally forced himself to winnow once more to his own door.
He had waved off an alarmed Oren and allowed himself a moment to compose himself before walking in and standing as he stood now.
And he really, really wanted to hurl his guts because Iris was looking at him in a way he wasn’t used to in a moment like this. No one usually saw him like this. He mostly let himself go numb during his father’s unleashing and then, only when he was alone, did Eris let his anger consume him. But he had already been teetering on the edge today and he was no longer alone.
Iris said nothing as he stood there, only watching him with a level of concern that made his chest feel tight. She cared. She cared about what happened to him. She was not his father and she was not looking at him with anything but genuine concern and everything in him recoiled at the fact that she had to see him this way at all. That his father had put him in this position, to look weak and it made him so angry that Eris went momentarily blind with rage.
He forced himself to swallow and then do it again before he could unlock his jaw enough to speak.
“My father,” he began in a voice that wasn’t quite his and the flames licking his heels spiked up. “Wanted to give me a new look.” He held up a bloodied fist. “He suggested I choke you with what was left of this.”
Iris dropped her gaze to his hand holding — clutching strands of hair that was — she looked up at his face again then back down to his hand.
“Oh gods.” she mumbled and her heart sank to the pits of her stomach. What had the High Lord done to him? Or rather, what hadn’t the High Lord done to him? Iris took another hesitant step toward him and started to say, “Let me —”
But immediately, Eris held his other hand, halting her in place and Iris fell silent. His eyes didn’t leave the hand holding the strands of his hair.
He finally glanced up at her, that wildfire in his eyes. “I told him to fuck off, of course.” he continued. “He didn’t take that well.” His gaze dropped again and Iris’s eyes followed to where a few drops of blood had dripped by his feet. She couldn’t even tell where it was coming from. “He didn’t take many things well during our conversation.”
“Conversation,” she repeated faintly and her face fell at the way his own hands had started to shake. “The state that you’re in is the result of a conversation.”
Eris fell silent again, blinking down at his trembling hands. A part of him wished he’d evaporate, simply melt into the floor, and cease to exist. Maybe then he wouldn’t feel this way. Maybe then he wouldn’t have to think about how much this family had been through and how much more they’d have to suffer until his fucken father died. Maybe then he wouldn't have to worry about his wife being another body for his father to beat down.
Maybe then —
“Eris?”
He looked up at her gentle calling, so unlike the voice of his father who had spent the past few hours breaking him. The way she looked at him made him want to collapse.
He was bleeding and broken and there was no logical reason for it other than his father was a monster.
“How — how did you even walk the halls like this?” she finally asked and couldn’t help how choked her voice sounded, couldn’t help that she had to keep breaking his silence. Her own hands were shaking as she moved closer to him. “Let me help you — let me see wherever you’re bleeding from.”
Eris shook his head and tried to breathe. She cared and it was too much for him. He couldn’t do this now — he needed more time.
But even if he wanted to, that thread at his ribcage forced him to stay where he was. How could it not when he looked at her and it steadied him? That thread that had dragged him back here, to this room. That thread was the reason he hadn’t let his fire consume him.
It took him another moment to speak, his eyes unblinking as he watched her. “I shouldn’t be able to winnow directly in the House, you know,” he said with a hoarse laugh and swayed slightly. “But stubborn as I am, I can bend the magic to my will.” He pointed a bloody finger at her. “I think it has to do with you.”
This rooted Iris to where she stood. “With me?” she repeated in a whisper.
“With you,” he confirmed and lowered a trembling hand to his side, his eyes unfocused. “I had to come back to you. You were waiting for me.”
Iris’s mouth trembled and she tried to swallow back the cascade of emotions surging through her body at his words. “What can I do?” she pleaded. “What do you need right now to make this moment easier?”
“What do I need.” he repeated and his eyes fell back to his hands. Iris watched his grip tighten until a flame burst in his fist and what was left of his hair was no more. Eris shook his head again, his chest rising and falling as he tried to breathe. Her face fell as he backed a step from her, both fists aflame now. “You shouldn’t be near me right now.” he said and his gaze flickered up, his wild eyes watching her. “I — I am not — I don’t —”
What was left of her battered heart broke further. He was physically standing before her but Iris could see the struggle in his eyes to connect to their reality. She wanted to reach him. She needed to reach him and remind him, that he was hers and she would take care of him the way he took care of her.
“It’s okay.” she said as gently as possible and slowly reached out a hand. “Let me help you.”
“Don’t.” Eris snarled so viciously that Iris couldn’t stop the flinch this time, yanking her hand back immediately.
A thick silence filled the room once more and Iris watched her husband’s chest rise and fall, his breathing starting to turn shallow, those wild eyes watching her in an almost pained resolve at her reaction.
“You flinched from me.” he said, the words barely distinguishable.
Iris swallowed and she hid her trembling hands in the folds of her robe. “It’s alright.” she said softly and saw the way he shuddered at the two words. “You — you surprised me. That’s all.”
He took a step towards her and Iris froze, waiting as he breathed more deeply, the flame licking his body seeming to flare and then shrink with each breath. “I’m — I’m sorry.” he said, his voice guttural. “I need — I — I need —”
“You need a moment.” she said as his body shook and she fought every instinct to reach out again. She — she wanted to hold him, needed to. But he wasn’t there yet. He was still finding his way back to himself. So she tried to reassure him from their six feet of distance. “That’s alright. Why don’t you go change?”
He nodded and blinked at her, his gaze still unfocused. “Shower.”
“Okay.” she said and nodded carefully. “I’ll — I’ll ask for some tea.”
But her husband just stared at her. “Don’t go anywhere.”
“I won’t.”
“Stay.” he said then repeated, “Don't go anywhere.”
Iris gave him a tentative smile, trying and failing to hide how deep her worry ran. She tightened her grip on her robe so she wouldn’t reach out to him again. “I’m not going anywhere, Eris. I’ll be right here when you’re done.”
She watched him as he watched her and again felt that tug in her ribcage that she didn’t understand as Eris swallowed hard then slowly, as if he was forcing himself to, he walked away from her and into their bathroom.
The door shut behind him and Iris’s face fell. How badly had that…conversation gone? She had no doubt her own father had played a part in it after the way Eris humiliated him but to what extent? How many more gifts had Beron given Eris? Letting out a shaky breath, her eyes fell to the drops of blood that had left a trail behind him.
An icy rage blinded her momentarily and Iris wanted nothing more than to find the High Lord and stab him violently until he choked on his own blood. Until he had enough wounds to make up for the ones he put on his son even if it would never be enough. The world would be a better place when the time came and he was gone.
The sound of the water running had her blinking back to reality and Iris forced herself to snap into action and move.
It didn’t slip her mind that earlier in the day, their situations had been the opposite and Iris wanted nothing more than to erase the anger and the shame that tied both of them to shitty fathers.
She knew Eris was…not himself yet. She knew he needed a way back and Iris needed to believe that there was a way out of this — this darkness they were surrounded in. There had to be.
No one deserved to live like this and as she wiped away any signs of his bleeding heart, Iris knew she would give him whatever he needed. Anything that would be a bright light for him on an otherwise dark night. So she had the tea tray ready with a bottle of hard liquor seated right next to it. Most importantly, she had tried to discreetly have her healing salves ready if he felt comfortable enough for her to touch him.
She waited, too restless to sit, and paced between the sitting table and hovering by the door of the bathroom, listening in case — Iris wasn’t sure in case of what but was sure she wanted to be close by.
Iris had just moved away from the door again when it finally opened and she immediately turned to find Eris standing in his sleeping attire. She tried not to frown at how tense his body still was and her eyes roamed his face.
“I have the tea.” she said quietly. “And um, alcohol.”
The corner of his mouth ticked up a millimeter before his expression shifted to the blank one she hated and he walked over to her, stopping a few feet away.
She waited, letting him take his time as he glanced down at his feet and then back up at her, his anger still lingering around him.
He watched her, his hands at his sides. “I made you flinch away from me.”
“You were angry.” she said simply.
“I would never harm you, Iris.”
His tone offered no argument and the corner of her own mouth curled up. Anger towards her had typically only meant one thing but she knew, deep in her weary bones, that Eris would never hurt her.
So Iris took a step closer to him and made sure she met his gaze as she replied in a tone that also offered no argument, “I know.” she said. “Your anger wasn’t towards me.”
His nostrils flared at the reminder and Iris almost regretted saying anything but then he took another step closer to her. “No. It wasn’t,” he said and Iris let her gaze drop to his hands that were clenching and unclenching at his sides. “After…events like this, I usually…am alone. To process.”
The words, the resignation in them, made her ache. Iris wondered how many times he’d had to process alone, with no one to share this burden with.
She looked up again and took one more step toward him as she slowly held out her hands. “Well, you’re not alone anymore,” she said quietly and watched as his gaze dropped to her open hands. “I’m here.”
“Yes. You are.” he said so softly that it made Iris’s heart twist. It took him a moment and she felt his hesitation, as if afraid to touch her but she waited. She waited as he clenched and then unclenched his hands once more before he slid his hands into hers.
“I’m here to listen if you want to talk about it,” she said as softly as he had spoken. “If not, I’m still here.”
His grip on her hands had tightened and she watched as his breath quickened for a moment, working his jaw. “I will. I have to,” he said hoarsely. “Or I will lose my mind.”
“Okay.” she simply said even as her chest tightened at the slight tremble in his hands. “I can’t have you losing your mind over anything except me, can I now?”
Eris tried to smile at her but it turned more into a grimace and Iris gave him a small smile of her own, wanting to bring him some sense of ease. She glanced down at their intertwined hands and let her thumb caress the back of his hand gently. “I don’t think I ever actually told you but…” she met his gaze. “I like how your hands feel holding mine. I have since that day I met the puppies for the first time and you told me I have lovely hands.”
She watched the Prince of Autumn shudder at the words and it took him another moment before he could answer her. “Not puppies,” he said and Iris couldn’t help her small smile, especially as he continued in words so quiet, she almost missed them. “I like how your hands feel in mine too.”
“I bet you do.” she said and again, the corner of his mouth lifted but this time, it remained curled up, and again, Iris couldn't stop staring at him. He may look a little different with the sloppy cut he had been given but it didn’t change the feeling that was spreading in her chest. She loved it when he smiled, especially if she was the reason. She liked his wicked mouth too much.
Iris made to move towards the table but Eris’s grip tightened on her and she turned to find his expression tense, his body rigid.
“Don’t go.”
“I’m only getting you a drink.” she said gently and Eris swallowed then gave a small nod and squeezed her hands once more before reluctantly letting go. Iris couldn't help the way she softened at the way he watched her, as though she was his tether to his way home.
How many times had he needed someone but had suffered alone? How many times had she been in the same scenario? It made her wonder how often had they shared a moment like this in their separate lives…two sides of the same miserable fucken coin indeed.
The thought exhausted her and with a swallow, Iris pulled away to turn to the table, feeling his eyes on her. As if she’d disappear if he blinked. She opted for the alcohol and filled both teacups to the brim. She may have the power to heal but with wounds that ran as deep as her husband’s…she wasn’t sure if she would be enough.
She carefully handed him his teacup and stood opposite him as they glanced at one another.
They did so much watching one another. So much observing. They exchanged so much without saying a word and Iris wondered if he could hear the way her blood was pumping so loudly in her ears. If he knew she could hear the rapid beating of his heart.
She gestured with her chin. “Drink.”
He glanced down at the cup in his hand and then looked up with a quirked brow. “This isn’t tea.”
“I think we need something a little stronger tonight.” she said gently and Eris gave her a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes before lifting the cup in a mock salute and knocking it back.
Iris switched their cups and handed him hers with a small smile at the dry chuckle that escaped him before he drank it as well. But her expression immediately fell as his body gave a shudder followed by a small grunt of pain and Iris’s grip tightened on her cup.
“I’m sorry.” she whispered and the apology seemed to dim any momentary lightness Eris had experienced.
“For what.” he said dryly.
“For whatever happened. For all of it.” she continued and Iris tried not to fidget beneath his gaze. “For anything that I might’ve had to do with it.”
Eris stared at her in silence, his expression tight, and the only sound in the room was the tapping of his fingers against his cup. What seemed like a lifetime later, he reached out to take the empty teacup from her hands and turned from her to place them back on the table.
He stood like this for several quiet moments and it made Iris tense again, wondering if he needed more time. If she should’ve backed off and let him be alone. Even if that was the last thing she wanted to do. She wanted —
“My father wanted you with me for this little meeting.” Eris finally said and Iris blinked.
“Why?”
Eris turned to face her again and leaned against the table. She didn’t miss the way, a second later, he moved a slight inch to avoid his back making contact.
“You see,” he began and glanced down at his hands. “He found out about my lovely encounter with your father and didn’t quite like that.” His hands slowly clenched into fists as he spoke. “The High Lord wanted you on your knees apologizing to your father. At your father’s request, of course.”
“What?” she croaked.
“But my father also wanted me to apologize to your father for beating him. Because I did it for you,” he said and then gave her a dry smile. “And well, the High Lord can’t have his son beating people for his wife now, can he? The only person the High Lord’s son should be beating is his own wife.”
Iris’s fingers dug into the folds of her robe as anger and shame washed over her once more. For the audacity of her father and the cruelty of his.
“He doesn’t deserve an apology,” she said through clenched teeth. “He deserves death.”
“I agree.” Eris said and he slowly made his way over to her, the room heating again with each step. “Which is why my father tied me to a flogging pole and whipped me within an inch of my life. Because I told him that my wife apologizes to no one and I certainly do not apologize to anyone either, especially filth.” he snarled softly and straightened with an angry wince. “So do me a favor? Do not apologize for their choices ever again. My wife doesn’t apologize for things she had no hand in.”
Horror slammed into her as she stared at Eris, fully engulfed in his own flame. At the way he had so casually admitted what his father had done.
“He — he whipped you?” she whispered and watched his body tense again, the temperature in the room spiking once more.
“Yes. But before that, I broke both of your father’s legs and his face again.” he said and Iris saw his fists clench again. “So that makes us somewhat even.”
“Eris…” She couldn’t think of anything else to say. How can he ask her not to apologize when she was the reason he was hurt? When it was because of her father that he had been pulled so far away from himself.
And she hated how it fell silent between them again. She hated that he felt this way. That he was made to be feeling this level of anger and despair. As if every word that fell from his mouth took too much effort, too much work.
Iris hadn’t realized how desperately she wanted to make him feel better. To bring back that stupid smirk she pretended to hate so much. She wanted to —
“Don’t look at me like that.” he said so tiredly and it made her ache. With a shake of his head and a deep breath, his flame went out, and he turned away from her, moving towards their bed.
But Iris froze and every single thought emptied from her head.
With his back to her, Eris’s shirt had clung to his skin and tiny beads of blood peppered the white shirt.
He looked over his shoulder, meeting her horrified gaze, and immediately looked away from her, his shoulders tensing as he lowered himself to sit at the edge of the bed.
“Don’t.”
“Eris, you’re bleeding again.”
“I know.” he managed then rubbed a hand down his face. “Just please stop looking at me like that.”
Iris bit the inside of her mouth, outraged on his behalf and hating that he felt embarrassed by any of it. She willed herself to breathe. One breath in, one breath out. They couldn’t catch a break. A small dosage of time where they could just be. Where everything between them didn’t have to get so fucken hard the moment they found a little ease.
“Look at you like what?” she finally said and made her way over to him. She sank down next to him and knew her expression gave away the panic she was trying to control. “Like I’m disgusted with what happened to you? Like I’m horrified that your father hurt you because of me and my piece of shit father?”
She stared at him and waved a hand helplessly. “How else am I supposed to look at my husband who left me in one way then came back another?” she added softly. “How else am I supposed to look when I want to help you so badly but I’m unsure how?”
Iris watched his throat bob as he swallowed. “Careful, wife. You sound like you care about me.” he said and Iris let out a huff of frustration, glaring at him.
“I do care, you stupid bastard.” she muttered, flushing deeply, and the dead look in his eyes was given a short reprieve when he gave her a small smile.
“Good to know.” he said and then fell silent, the weight of this whole day and what was left unsaid suffocating.
As Iris watched him, she was hit by the need to kiss him. The need to run her hands down his arms and chest and scarred back that she wanted to help him heal and then kiss it all better. She wanted anything but whatever this heaviness was, anything but that awful expression on his face. Her eyes scanned his slightly ruffled hair and how tired his eyes were and her frown deepened.
Slowly, she reached out a hand to gently touch his face, giving him all the time in the world to push her hand away if he desired. But he didn’t and Iris turned his head so he’d face her and his exhaustion slammed into her.
“What happened was unacceptable.” she whispered. “And for that, I am sorry that it happened to you. Because you don’t deserve it. You didn’t do anything wrong and he had no right to treat you that way.”
Eris scoffed faintly but at her expression, swallowed hard, closing his eyes. He seemed to hesitate for a heartbeat then nuzzled gently into her hand. He hated how desperately he needed the softness of her touch. How badly he wanted to be soothed. She was here and even if he felt like death itself, she was here. “No one deserves what he delivers.” he finally said quietly. “But we still take it.”
“You should not have to.”
“No.” he said and straightened with a grimace, taking her hand in his hand. He let his thumb caress her palm as he added, “None of us should have to.”
“Please let me look at your back,” she whispered but he shook his head, his thumb still rubbing her hand gently. Whether it was to soothe him or to soothe her, she wasn’t sure. "Please. Let me heal it."
A muscle in his jaw flexed and Iris had to remind herself that his anger wasn't at her.
“I can heal it myself,” he replied but not unkindly. “I’m choosing not to at the moment.”
“Why?”
“Pain is good. It keeps the memory fresh.”
Once again, the room heated at the words and Iris’s body went rigid. He was so angry and gods, she knew that anger. She had tasted the humiliation he felt. And she knew without question that beneath that anger was so much sadness. So much exhaustion. So much…yearning. For more. For different.
For love. For some sense of normalcy in a fucked up home that showed them no mercy.
Iris could practically hear his mind whirling and it pulled at her heart because she had started to understand him in a way very few people did. Slowly, she reached out once more and gently forced him to meet her gaze.
“There is no part of you that deserves pain like this, Eris.” she said firmly and hated the way she could see his disbelief, as though it wasn’t true.
Eris’s eyes fluttered closed at the words, a muscle flexing in his jaw. “How do you know that? That I don’t deserve pain? I’ve made bad choices. I’ve had to do bad things.”
She shook her head. “Making bad decisions and being forced to do bad things doesn’t make you a bad person. You’ve had to carry so much…give yourself some room.” she said and then added quietly, “Unburden yourself with me. Let me help you.”
Eris met her gaze and she watched the internal struggle in his eyes as he worked his jaw. Finally, he said, “There’s too much. It’s a lot.”
“I know. You were ready to tell me earlier. So tell me now.” she encouraged calmly. “You told me you wanted to know the side of me I didn’t like anyone seeing. That you wanted to see.” She squeezed his hand. “Well, I want to know too. I want to see.”
Eris seemed to pause and then his gaze hardened as he straightened. “Iris,” he began and her brows furrowed at the urgency in his tone. “You have to understand whatever I tell you, it has been kept a secret for us to survive. I do not trust anyone as much as I’m allowing myself to trust you. Don’t — don’t make me regret it.”
She tilted her head and watched him for a quiet minute. “Have I given you a reason not to trust me?”
“No.” he said and swallowed. “But when you’ve been living in a pit of snakes for so long, you’re never sure which one will bite. Things have changed between us but…I have this doubt in the back of my mind that you’ll take anything I say and give it to the highest bidder to get out of this marriage and run.” He paused for a moment and licked his lips. “I wouldn’t blame you.”
She watched him quietly again and it made her chest tighten that even after things had shifted between them, this still worried him. So Iris swallowed and decided to be honest as well.
“And despite the changes between us…I still fear that someday you’ll realize you could beat the living shit out of me every single day and no matter how much I can defend myself, you’ll still overpower me,” she replied. “But I have not seen anything from you that would truly have me succumb to that doubt. Have you seen anything from me to feed into those doubts?”
He paused but Iris didn’t fail to notice how his thumb was back to caressing her hand softly, almost as a way to calm himself down.
“No.” he said after a moment. “You’re my wife and my friend and my — you’re many things. I — I trust you.”
“Good. Because I trust you too,” she whispered. “I’ve trusted you not to hurt me and you haven’t.”
He shook his head and held up her hand in his. “It is my job to protect you. These fists will fight for you.”
Iris couldn’t help the small smile that bloomed on her face or the way her heart swelled at the words. “And I am grateful for that,” she said. “But then who protects you?”
His mouth curled into a tired smile and he sighed. “Apparently, it’s my wife with her healer hands.”
Iris gave him a pointed look and then gestured to his shirt with her chin. “Then let these hands help you.”
Eris tensed and his grip tightened on his wife’s hands. He wasn’t used to anyone being near him whenever this happened. Wasn’t used to anyone seeing any of his scars, much less fresh ones.
But this was Iris. His wife. His mate. And he wanted her hands to touch him. To fit all of his pain in the palm of her lovely hands and wipe it away.
Could he let go? Let this part of him be free?
He swallowed again, trying not to choke on his shame. On his fear. He was almost paralyzed by it.
But it was as if she could see it rampaging inside him, could see the struggle in his eyes. For all she had to do was give him a small smile. An encouraging one, her thumb caressing his hand in hers and Eris felt himself straighten.
He finally allowed a dip of his chin in acceptance and promised himself that after tonight, there would be no going back.
#eris vanserra#eris vanserra x oc#eris x oc#eris vanserra fanfic#acotar fanfiction#gfics#smtb chapters#Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy!! :)#One more chapter and it'll be the new stuff hehe.#If you'd like to be tagged or removed (no hard feelings!) please let me know!
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Helki compilation
Helki is a prisoner-turned-servant. He’s a criminal canary and was implicitly one of Milsiril’s charges, and now that she’s retired he’s become her servant.
He must have gotten into Milsiril’s good graces, wether through attachment or convenience, which is a feat considering Milsiril’s a socially anxious recluse. Which is interesting because it’s not like he seems like the agreeable type, shifty upbeat delinquent style… We really don’t know much about him, not even what crimes he did, so there’s a lot of space for speculation on all grounds.
He seemed to be acting out of his own initiative in the Rin comic, he doesn’t look thrilled to be there in many post-canary comics but he also seems content enough. He restrains Milsiril in the Mithrun cleaning comic which is interesting to think of for their relationship.
It’s fun to notice how he’s the only one that didn’t get bored of looking after Rin, and then reports back about her condition… I’d say he was getting used to taking care of kids which would come with the job of serving Milsiril, but then, not enough for him to clean the blood off himself hah. In this way it’s interesting to think about his relationship to the idea of parenthood, he’s probably the closest thing to a father figure/male role model Kabru had growing up, without mentioning the other kids. I feel like he’d consider himself an older brother, cousin or uncle figure sooo much sooner than a father, but even then I do think it’s just his job and he’s not really invested or forming real relationships with any of them much.
It’s curious to note that he’s dressed in canary uniform presumably after having been pardoned and living with Milsiril? Which you can tell by the armor bits (the yellow strips of spider silk). In the Kabru training montage and the Rin comic specifically. It seems very implausible for him to have still been a canary while being a retired Milsiril’s servant and being with her all the time, and the cleaning with Mithrun comic (where he’s not in uniform) happens after Utaya so it could happen after Kabru was taken in but around the time of the Rin comic. So why uniform? It could be one of the best outfits he has, so it’d make sense to wear it around especially if you’re sparring or getting… Blood on you? Could just be because that's how Milsiril wants him to dress. But yeah we don't know when exactly Helki becoming Milsiril’s servant happened. We do see Mithrun’s charge Cithis be tasked with taking care of him, so charge being given a servant-caretaker role doesn’t seem all that out of the ordinary, sometimes even prior to retiring.
Imo, if he doesn't work for Milsiril he goes back to jail/the canaries/has to try and get a job instead of just tending to her, so Helki is staying with Milsiril because she's the best option for him. He’s her milsiril's personal servant and does mostly dull tasks involved in that. He’s not particularly suited to the role but they’ve gotten used to each other to him so she took him with her, and he does prefer it to canary work so it works out decent for him. I think he’s used to reading her and managing her moods and he’s one of the rare social connection she has.
Under spoiler is stage 2 interpretation stuff, bigger speculation, in a reblog I’ll make soon I’ll go over my thoughts for stage 3 interpretation lol. Helsiril I’m coming for you
Translation of the canary hierachy chart used is by Thatsmimi, here
#Dungeon meshi#spoilers#dungeon meshi manga spoilers#Helki#Compilation#lmk if he’s pictured anywhere else#Helsiril my beloved I need 30 fics of you it shall have 10 metric tons of extrapolation from canon but it shall be tasty indeed#Might do comps/short explanation posts of the other minor canary characters like Misyl and Erique. Ik the Flamela shippers would enjoy#He has less screentime than Dandan. Tragic. Though I guess he’s just not even remotely involved in present canon business so fair enough#The canaries have a batman system… No literally https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Batman_(military)#Helsiril#In reblog addition I’ll make… soon#I imagine him kinda being like Mickbell personality wise#Did you know soldier-turned-servant like here with the canaries was a thing historically. No really:#https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Batman_(military)#He looks full of mischief… Alas shackles are minimizing the whimsy and he must act responsible and obey#Helki x milsiril#The helki-kabru potential dynamic is super interesting too#I do like to think seeing milsiril & helki growing up hammered “it’s use or be used” into him… Will elaborate in reblog
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Ok so today's entry is definitely gonna be important for the analysis on how the topic of sexuality (which is one among MANY topics that this novel covers) is explored throughout the story and throughout the concept of vampirism in it.
I wanted to note these things down for myself cause this is a topic that really boils my blood when seeing academic analysis of it but I want to read the full text carefully through Dracula Daily and make a proper personal opinion of it before reading anything else (academia.edu PLEASE stop emailing me things I will crush my head on the wall). (For now, my overall opinion on this topic is that academics focus way too much on making a metaphor out of everything when a lot of things in this story make more sense when analyzed as parallelism, or as a literal part of the plot with no further meaning...)
Anyways. This is the first time in the story when a scene of (almost) vampire feeding is narrated, and the scene that makes Johnathan go "this is it, nowhere is safe". So this kind of settles a first impression on what being preyed upon by a vampire feels like (at the same time it could also serve as reference for when vampire feeding feels WAY differently from today, and therefore can be interpreted differently). We have:
The feeling of seduction of some sorts(EDIT: I should point out that vampire seduction by this time was already, from The Vampyre to Carmilla, along with several folklore, a well established trope). Is Johnathan's initial fear out of an unconscious feeling that they're vampires? Because of their sudden appearance in the otherwise empty room? Because he loathes being disloyal to Mina? Could be a mix, we will never know. But it's interesting to ask oneself these things.
I'm not going to expand on why the description of how the girl approaches Johnathan's neck is erotic, just go read it. I listened to the Re:Dracula entry today and aw lawd that's... The academics win on this one that does sound like a sexual thing good god.
It also sounds quite monstrous tho. The licking of the teeth, the red tongue, is similar to how the wolves were described on may 5th (and later, Dracula's gesture towards the other girls is compared to the one he used with the wolves, This is actually the first direct association between wolves and vampires as a similar being I think)
Dracula's "I too can love" speech and him undressing Johnathan is a whole topic for a different post which I do Not Have The Energy To Make (and that someone out there will probably do better than me today)
Lastly, we have Johnathan's dread at the end. That's a lot of dread wow, even worse than Dracula. Now, of course, a big part of this is due to them being VAMPIRES. WHO WILL KILL HIM. Because this is a vampire story. But it also leads us to other questions. Could this dread also be a dread of the desire he felt? Because of loyalty to Mina or because of the dominant stance the vampiresses took (which was Inappropriate in victoriam standards)?. These are the questions academics usually explore. There's also the less "This symbolizes That" approach which takes the fact that vampires=dreadful because of plot reasons, and draws the conclusion that making such a dreadful creature have a sexual attitude, said attitude is demonized. Additionally, in the Dracula Daily fandom, there are also people noticing how his dread is akin to the feelings of an SA victim. (Which leads us to the question of How Did Bram Know That?)
In any case. One thing is clear. They're vampires. They want his blood. Poor boy has been sleep deprived, questioning his sanity, and being manipulated by his employer for more than a week now. His employer who has just saved him from getting eaten. That's a shock. That's a big fucking shock alright.
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look. im not saying there isn't some very valid concerns about alicent being raised or that i disagree with them if its proven correct. lord knows the writers don't have a good track record.
but some of y'all still need to be reminded that a trailer isn't the series. we saw 2 minutes in which we only got so much of alicent, it's impossible for them to show everything. and yet some of y'all are talking with such certainty as if you got early access to the episodes and therefore everything you say is absolute truth and not still speculation at this point.
like im sorry but has it occurred to any of y'all that those clips (alicent advising caution, aemond calling her a fool for still loving the enemy- rhaenyra) happens BEFORE blood and cheese??
concerning aemond, i think a really plausible explanation for this scene that we haven't been able to watch the full thing because again it's in a trailer, it's him and ser criston talking about how alicent was in favour of peace talks during the green council and refused to consider the alternative of killing rhaenyra. considering what aemond has just done, of course he's going to be 100+ more defensive. him criticising the peace terms that would have spared both sides and prevented a war would come across as just as bad as him deciding to chase luke on vaghar.
a lot of you also seem to have forgotten that aemond is characterised as "unforgiving" so it doesn't seem surprising to me that he would hate the idea of these peace terms because in his mind rhaenyra does not deserve forgiveness. he's been waiting for viserys to die so he could punish her and her sons. this is very similar to daemon, who was ready to kill every single green during the black council. also note the word "our". people assuming that aemond is only using it in reference to him and ser criston, and yet because he used it the word "our" it's quite possible that he doesn't think his own mother is some double double agent and despite his heavy disagreements with her, he's still including alicent in that because by crowning aegon, alicent has clearly chosen him over rhaenyra.
i want to finish here about aemond by saying how boringly predictable it is that team black are comparing aemonds words about alicent to jace's words about rhaenyra. im sorry but that isn't a fair comparison. jace is talking to a lord (likely cregan stark) whose support he's trying to gain for his mother's cause. he's not going to be bad mouthing or criticising rhaenyra. cregan stark is a STRANGER to him. on the other hand this was a private convo between aemond and ser criston (ser criston looks ready to retire for the night). ser criston is probably one of the few people in the world that aemond trusts and because criston happens to be devoted to alicent and because aemond does love his mother, he feels "safer" making these points to him in PRIVATE rather than trying to publicly undermine her like otto did by keeping in the dark and according to deleted scenes, ready to marry her off AGAIN for allies even though alicent being unaware of all this makes no sense but whatever.
people also making these claims about alicent choosing rhaenyra based off her saying "this senseless war must end." it's so annoying how y'all immediate first conclusion was that alicent was only saying it out of a desire to spare rhaenyra...... as if alicent wanting the war to end couldn't have been about protecting ALICENTS remaining children/grandchildren and the realm at large.... mind you f&b alicent says something very similar which has the exact same point being made. "how many more must die to slake your thirst for venegance?"
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Man, every time you post from Dragonball Meta I go "Man, that makes so much sense! Now I wanna see their take on this"
On that note: How would you describe Gohan and Krillin's dynamic
It takes a village to raise a child. Goku, Chi-Chi, and Piccolo's contributions to Gohan's upbringing are often brought up, but it's often overlooked that he was Krillin's ward for a time too.
During their time on Namek, Krillin and Gohan have a pretty neat dynamic. As a hybrid Saiyan given some instruction in ki manipulation and martial arts by Piccolo, Gohan has a great deal of raw ability. But he's also five years old.
He's got a lot of power and some technical prowess but he doesn't have the sharp instincts or experience of a martial artist. He has the temperament of a child in need of guidance. Because. Like. That's what he literally is.
His ki sensing tends to be more finely tuned than Krillin's.
Gohan is a fantastic radar. I think learning to sense ki at such an early age probably made it second nature for him, like having a sixth sense. But that's my speculation.
In any case, Gohan's got a lot of ability but what he lacks is maturity, experience, and some of the more esoteric techniques picked up from a lifetime of martial arts study. That's where Krillin comes in. Krillin calls the shots during their time on Namek.
As an aside, I love this moment because it conveys the difference in technique between the two. Gohan and Krillin are both about to absolutely murder these guys in one hit each, but the way they're about to do it is totally different.
Gohan fights like a brawler, and so he's just going in for a hard right hook. Krillin, meanwhile, is preparing to twirl himself around with Bukujutsu in order to create momentum for a spinning kick.
Brute force on the one hand and finely honed martial arts on the other. Akira Toriyama's greatest talent as an artist was conveying character through action.
That is their dynamic on Namek. (Dynamek?) Gohan is powerful beyond measure while Krillin makes choices about where and how to apply that power. And when Gohan's impulsiveness gets them into trouble (in a way that will pay out massive dividends for years to come):
It's Krillin's technical knowledge, experience, and knack for subterfuge that gets them out of it.
This victory was brought to you by everybody cannibalizing Tenshinhan's techniques because they're so good. Dude needs to start filing patents.
Bunch of fucking thieves, Kame-senryu.
This sort of teamwork is the relationship they develop. Krillin is experienced and tactical, but also pragmatic. He didn't want to save Dende; He was totally willing to let Dende die to avoid exposing him and Gohan. But he rolls with it and adapts.
When he next sets out into a situation where they might have to leave the Namekians to die, he doesn't say he's not taking Gohan to avoid a similar predicament... but he does bench Gohan without giving any reason for it.
It's certainly an interesting choice, to be sure.
And a mistake he'll spend the next six days trying to un-make.
Oof. Would have been a great idea to have brought Gohan along in the first place, huh?
He does it again much later, when he's once again flying into a situation where he might have to choose between exposing himself to Frieza or letting the Namekians die.
Again, no explanation offered. Gohan volunteers to join and Krillin tells him, "Nope." Gohan has implicitly been fired from ever doing spy ops with Krillin again. Nonetheless, he continues to follow Krillin's lead unquestioningly, all the way up to the end.
For his part, Gohan is impulsive and follows his heart. He leans on Krillin for guidance and mentorship, but also follows his heart.
But together they effectively fight as a single unit. That... psychic mind training thing they were doing on the spaceship wasn't just sparring; They were also forming battle strategies and making plans for fighting an enemy together.
The coordination and teamwork between Gohan and Krillin is some of the best in the series, because they had both time and will to practice and train themselves as battle partners. Guldo can freeze time and he's still on the backfoot from how fast they flow from one attack to another, and how well Gohan's learned to read Krillin's moves and follow along without a word between them.
Oh, and the ki sensing.
I love the way Krillin and Gohan dominate this fight. Guldo's telekinesis almost pulls this out for him right at the end, but 90% of this fight is Guldo narrowly avoiding being brutally murdered by virtue of his time manipulation.
This is, once again, the Planet Trade Organization in the nutshell. Their raw abilities are incredible, while the Earthlings are better fighters. This tends to put the Earthlings on the backfoot, but the Earthlings have the tools to at least navigate the situation - For a time, at least.
When they can find an answer, they excel. When they can't, the raw ability of the PTO wins out. One of my favorite moments for Gohan and Krillin is right here, when they intervene during Vegeta's fight with Recoome.
This is a desperation move. There was no plan here. "We're fucked; GET 'IM!" was the only idea exchanged before they rush in.
So, lacking a coordinated strategy like the ones they used against Guldo, you can see their different values manifest in how they move. Krillin, the underhanded pragmatist, goes straight for a critical shot. Hitting Recoome with a well-placed knee drop to slam his jaw shut on the ultra-powerful Eraser Gun he's firing from his mouth.
Krillin's sneak attack fucks up Recoome about as hard as the preceding battle with Vegeta did.
But where Krillin sees an opening for a powerful hit, Gohan sees a life in danger. So he moves to save Vegeta instead of following Krillin's attack. Even Vegeta's startled by this decision.
Vegeta's pissed that Gohan didn't let him die. Vegeta would have let Vegeta die.
This is who Gohan is: A kindhearted boy who doesn't want to be in these violent situations but will do whatever he has to do in order to protect the lives of others.
Gohan is the most unambiguously heroic character in the cast. There is no poison in his heart. He's not here to fight. He doesn't care about martial arts. He has no enjoyment and no love of violence. He has Goku's best quality: He doesn't like it when people are being hurt, and he's bold enough to get involved if he can. But it's distilled in Gohan, untouched by Goku's poison.
Which is both a strength and a weakness, in different ways. And remains so throughout the rest of his life.
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Everyone (lovingly I assume) refers to Ronon as a caveman, but I think from his perspective, the Tauri aren't as technologically advanced as Sateda was before it was culled. It's not really noticeable in Atlantis, but I think he'd notice it when he traveled outside of the SGC for John's dad's funeral.
Earth isn't too far off, though. I think Earth to Sateda would be like how Daniel described Kelowna being around the same point as Earth was in the 1940s. Several decades, or even a century or so behind technologically.
Knowing Ronon, he probably doesn't give a shit. Plus, living outside for 7 years does give a person caveman tendencies.
anon i'm so glad you sent this because i've actually had so many thoughts about how in a lot of ways sateda was way more advanced than earth and now i have an excuse to talk about it
i think in some ways earth was a bit more advanced than sateda (we never really see any sort of automated vehicles, and i think that's bc satedans didn't see the value in investing in that sort of technology) i do however think sateda was DRASTICALLY more advanced in both weapons and medicine, which makes sense- when the biggest threat to your society is the wraith, investing in weapons and health care makes a lot of sense. the stronger your weapons and the healthier your people, the better chance you have at fighting back
i also just think the satedans were more advanced culturally/emotionally. ronon spent seven years on the run from the wraith and he's still more emotionally intelligent than 2/3 of the atlantis expedition. that kind of torture (because being hunted for sport is, imo, a form of torture) and extreme isolation would make anyone clinically insane, but ronon's pretty damn fucking normal. he eats with his hands and isn't the most talkative at first, but that's really the only indication that ronon has been living completely uncivilized for almost a decade. if you took anyone from earth and put them through that, it would take a hell of a lot more than a few weeks of a hot meal and a safe bed to remind them how to be a person
idk where i'm even fully going with this honestly it has been a long day but i just have a lot of thoughts about ronon and sateda and i'm forever mad they didn't give us more about satedan culture (or athosian culture tbh. we learn more about the fucking genii than we do the athosians, which is a crime)
#anon this is a beautiful idea and an amazing concept#i love it#asks#headcanons#ronon dex#sateda#sga#stargate atlantis
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I am now at least far enough away from the incident that I can give some more articulately expressed opinions about Kriemhild and that part of Traum, and also my general bugbears when it comes to Higashide. To really elaborate on them, I want to make a point of comparison to show this isn't just like, bias getting in the way, and that's Caster.
Well Medea. Obviously.
Caster has a really big advantage going for her over characters such as Semiramis and Kriemhild. She has two gigantic and well-written visual novels backing her up. While the first thing you probably think of when it comes to Caster is her relationship to Kuzuki, you can probably think of a bunch of different things that you know Caster for. Caster's relationship to Kuzuki is a big part of her character, but it is not the only part of her character, and most importantly, it adds to her character. It is in and of itself a jumping off point for discussing her relationship with Jason, how that has affected her, and what Caster is looking at her future for.
Bu it's not her entire character. She still has a very complex relationship with Saber, and Hollow Ataraxia's character interactions with her and the rest of the cast are all interesting, not to mention her own interactions with Kojirou either. She exists as a character beyond that, and that is also very likely why Kuzuki is just not a factor in F/GO at all. She is a strongly written character that is recognizable without him.
When it comes to Semiramis and Amakusa, Apocrypha itself is written fine although I don't really believe in the two of them having real chemistry with each other, especially as time has gone on and more of Semiramis backstory has come out, Amakusa feels very written in but without the proper framing to me to make it work. But as time has gone up, unlike with Caster, Semiramis has had her entire character swallowed up by this relationship, even though canonically she shouldn't really remember it. This is obviously to some extent fanservice, but this is a problem, because it means that Semiramis stops existing as her own character. There are entire interludes about her history that are boiled down at the end to just being about Amakusa. If you want to know Semiramis like you would Caster, you can't.
A good relationship adds to the character, it does not BECOME the character. This is especially weird because Amakusa has had a lot of interesting screen time and character writing without Semiramis being present. It starts to feel like there's only really one important character in the mix. There's Amakusa, and Amakusa's girlfriend. That's weird.
Kriemhild is that on turbo, but the issues with her writing go even further. At least with Semiramis, while her relationship with Amakusa is strange, it's not necessarily contradictory. It's definitely odd, but not out of question. Kriemhild, especially for those who have summoned her and didn't go through Traum quickly, is in a contradictory boat. She clearly in her dialogues does not like Siegfried, even if she still loves him, and it's also clear he is directly responsible for a ton of hurt that she felt. This is consistent of what we know of Siegfried, it makes sense that he would do these things, we've already seen him do it in Apocrypha. Here, we are being asked to confront the human cost of that. In Apocrypha, he's not screwing over anyone we care about. But here, he's directly hurting people, and by extension, leading to their death.
Siegfried's actions are not portrayed particularly nobly, they're considered mistakes, at least in part chiefly by Siegfried who wants to live a life doing the right thing now. So it makes sense that Kriemhild would be extremely bitter and angry at him. He...abandoned her, and didn't even explain himself. That's extremely fucked up.
For almost the entire chapter in Traum, we're not given any indication that there is going be a flip-flop in character motivations. Kriemhild is portrayed, consistently, as being antagonistic to Siegfried. She wants her revenge on him, she calls him leftovers, she talks about destroying the world he keeps trying to save. Zhang Jue hides away Siegfried not because he believes that Kriemhild will turn on the realm for him, but because, as a Berserker, Kriemhild is likely to become extremely unstable upon seeing him.
Even later on, when Siegfried approaches Ritsuka and asks for a favor, the most likely conclusion to come to, knowing Siegfried, is that he wants to fulfill his wife's revenge. That makes sense from a character perspective. Siegfried's actions have consistently trended towards those that self-sacrifice to protect others.
The problem when it comes to Kriemhild is that it is both contradictory to what we've been communicated with in the story, and that the end result is that it destroys her character. It is both bad, and quite frankly, very cheap. It's a cheap use of the love conquers all trope. In the span of one to two sentences, Kriemhild implicitly forgives him for everyone that he's done, reverts to a lovey-dovey wife, and even reneges on everything that to this build are the foundation of her existence as a Servant.
It turns Kriemhild into nothing, into what is insanely flat, because all of her depth has been removed. What is left is a character that is entirely one-dimensional. Nothing exists for Kriemhild past her love of Siegfried anymore. There's no discussions about hurt or pain or the twenty years of vengeance beyond Kriemhild immediately turning a double face on it.
There's not a nicer way to put this, so let's just get it out of the way now. Siegfried will continue to be a character independent of Kriemhild. Unlike say, Sigurd, whose character is primarily defined on his relationship with Brynhildr, Siegfried's character is not defined really at all by his relationship to Kriemhild. Kriemhild has no path from here, and as we can glimpse in further events, her character is entirely defined by her relationship with Siegfried. What are her character motivations past this point? Well obviously its not ANY of the ones we took pain to previously establish.
This is classic, textbook, misogynistic writing. Kriemhild has been turned into a lamp.
Siegfried is a very popular character, and I imagine for a lot of people, there is incentive to ignore all of this. Siegfried is getting his happy ending, he's getting his wife back. But if you cared about what Kriemhild's character was, this sucks tremendously. Reconciliation is not off the table, but what happened is not reconciliation. It's not anything resembling that. Kriemhild essentially loses all of her agency, so dramatically she dies after this happens.
Like at least Urobuchi would have just killed her.
#fate grand order#im not giving this character tags#and also im not super interested in defenses of this
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Day of Envy - Leviathan
~NSFW Alphabet~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Warning: NSFW content ahead (whole bunch of this and that)
A = Aftercare (What are they like after sex?
🎮 Understands the importance of it and is awkward but sincere about it. He’s usually so nervous and shy afterwards. He’ll ask if you want water, snacks? Pillow talk is akin to small talk in an elevator but he’s trying. Levi means well just lacks a little on the execution side of things, he’s never neglected it though and does make sure you’re well taken care of. Once he gets over his awkwardness then he practices a set routine that encompasses what he thinks you could use at that moment. Also Levi does quite enjoy having a bath with you afterwards.
B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partners.)
🎮 Call him a perv for this… (he’d probably like it) he’d say his favourite body part is your thighs and ass. He loves things he can grab and squish, and maybe if you’d let him, bite a little. It’s like a stress ball and he’s so pervy when he wants to be, you’d be lazing around, just playing a game and he’s using your ass as his own personal pillow. Makes him absolutely feral when he fucks your thighs or when you grind your ass against him, it makes him cum so easily and he gets so embarrassed.
🎮 On himself- Levi usually spirals and goes into a bit of self-deprecating territory when you asked this question, if he really had to choose something. He’d choose his tail. He thinks it’s really cool.
C = Cum (Anything to do with cum, basically)
🎮 So you know how thigh highs exist? And Levi may have asked you to let him cum on them. He’d be rubbing his leaking cock between the tight fabric and your thigh, listening to how you call him a messy lil pervert and he’s cumming bucket loads. If you’re not wearing any of the very many thigh highs that Levi bought for you, then he’s honestly a sucker for cumming anywhere. Inside you, on your face, on your chest, thighs, mouth, ass, literally anywhere he’s not picky. He cums a lot, and it’s not like he’s super pent up anymore but he just cums so much, mini flood alert. Especially when in demon form when you’re dealing with twice the amount from his double dick situation.
D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs.)
🎮 Oh, Levi. You probably wondered what was happening to your underwear. Maybe that pair that you really liked has now suddenly gone missing. Little did you know, more than all that ero-manga, the occasional sexy game, or even character based sexy ASMR, Levi developed a new habit, stealing underwear. Specifically your underwear, could you even imagine how desperately he whimpers and whines, stroking his cocks so pathetically while he holds your underwear. His sense of smell gives the greatest weight to his fantasy, he could only imagine it’s you. His fantasy always changes but circled around what he would do, what he could do. Sometimes he leaves his door unlocked, putting his headphones on and blasting whatever he needs to get him off. He secretly hoped you would walk in, finding him in his shameful state. Berate him, look at him with that disappointment, only feeding into his masochism. What a series of desires such a devious act could elicit. The mere stealing of a piece of clothing has him getting so uncontrollably hard. Whenever he feels it's lost its scent, he'll simply procure another pair.
E = Experienced (How experienced are they? Do they know what they're doing?)
🎮 He’s the king of experience…At least in the game world. Knows just how and where to touch, the massage and tongue techniques, what works on just about every fantasy race- or how to turn the most uptight person into a total slut for his dick- of course all in his ero games. Levi had no IRL experience, I mean that kind of thing takes two to tango and is hard for an otaku who never leaves his room. Thankfully you’re here now and willing to teach him all the ins and out of the real deal.
F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying.)
🎮 Any position he can fuck your thighs - Cannot stress this point enough at just how obsessed this man is with, specifically your thighs. He’ll bend you, twist you, hold you, pin you all the while he’s fucking his cock between the soft flesh of your thighs while panting like a dog in heat. He’d even apologize while doing it (he doesn’t mean it, not when it feels that good.)
🎮 Reverse cowgirl - Ass man. He wants to watch as you sink down on his cock taking every single inch and all the way up again. His fingers would be digging into your ass while he’s helping you with your pace.
🎮 Doggy - This one is his ultimate…All of his favourite things going on at the exact same time- he can bury one dick deep inside you, and have the other one pleasantly sandwiched between your thighs.
G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment? Are they humorous? Etc)
🎮 He’s so stiff (no pun intended) most of the time, you find it odd how he’s still that shy considering when it’s nearly a daily occurrence that you’re doing something nasty together. On the other end of it sometimes he’s so ridiculously goofy and it’s never intentional. He’d propose a playlist to enhance your sexy time and it’s just the worst collection of meme songs (he thought he was onto something)
H = Hair (How well groomed are they? Does the carpet match the drapes? Etc)
🎮 He’s completely natural down under, his hair is on the straighter side and fine. Colourwise it’s a dead ringer for the colour of his hair on top (which is really pretty colour you might add) Levi has offered to shave or trim should you ever find it to be unpleasant but you don’t mind it! So he keeps it natural. (Secretly uses conditioner a lot though so it’s all soft and stuff)
I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment? The romantic aspect)
🎮 Levi has all his little ecchi tendencies but overall he’s really sweet and loving in the moment. He always holds you close, kisses you a lot and will ramble on about how much he loves you and how amazing you are. You didn’t expect to get hit with the hundreds of “I love you, i love you so much” the first time you and Levi had sex but it’s so cute to hear how he says it even when his voice gets whinier.
J = Jack Off (Masturbation Headcanon)
🎮 Did it so often that it’s like every second day when he’s needing a little outlet. Has a whole folder dedicated to his masturbation material. He's so messy about it too. Loves slathering his cock in lube, moving his hand while listening to the wet squelch and feeling how slippery it gets, will draw it out and wait for his favourite moment in whatever he’s watching/listening to until he cums and it’s so messy, Levi will even use his own cum to make it messier and go for a second round.
K = Kink (One or more of the kinks)
🎮 Voice kink - You know this for a fact, you can make Levi cum just with your voice, he hangs on every word. Oh that slightly angered and stern tinge it takes when you’re upset about something just gives him shivers.
🎮 Praise kink - Yes while Levi does have a massive thing for degradation and wants to hear you berate him, it coexists alongside a praise kink because telling him what a good boy he is and watching him cum in pants just from you praising him tells you everything you need to know.
🎮 Uniform/Costumes - This gets honorable mention alongside crossdressing, because Levi just loves dressing up in his cosplays (even the female ones) and you can tell him just how pretty he looks while rubbing him under his skirt.
🎮 Honorable mention for masochism
L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)
🎮 Prefers places he’s comfortable with- aka his bedroom. Especially like doing it in his bathtub ^^ It’s pretty cute honestly, the limited amount of space means the two of you are pressed and squished oh so close together with his tail slithering around you and the cold feeling of his scales just add that extra layer of sensation.
🎮 Technically his room but VR offers A LOT of options. He could be in the middle of a busy city in his game while he’s fucking you in reality and all the NPCs in the city just go about their little lives while Levi is busy fucking you right there in the middle of the overcrowded city.
N = No (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
🎮 Public stuff Levi just wouldn’t be able to handle the anxiety of it and it would completely ruin the experience, he’d be too nervous and worried that it would overall be uncomfortable and unpleasant for him. Another thing Levi isn’t into is threesomes/sharing of any kind. He knows his sin all too well and the consequences would leave him too envious to find the experience enjoyable, he’d get jealous to see someone else's hands on you, making you moan or pleasuring you. The only exception to the rule is Levi would allow a voyeur, someone to watch. He’d like to see their envy, while he touches you knowing that they could never.
O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)
🎮 Him and his little snakey tongue oh the possibilities, he’d really show his skills and work his magic. He’s so dexterous with his tongue, easily wrapping it around things, making it constrict a little or moving it in unimaginable ways. He’d practically be writing cursive with his tongue between your legs.
🎮 Receiving is the winner - Watching you messily deepthroat one cock, using your hand to stroke the other, before alternating and making those little gag noises on occasion and he’s just dying while watching you and he can practically see the smirk in your eyes as he’s falling apart or when you kiss both heads at the same time. Watching you struggle to swallow all his cum and it ends up just spilling out the corners of your mouth and then run down your face and chest
P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? Etc)
🎮 Doesn’t have much self control for his desires and ends up ramming into you, hits it so fast every time you’ll have to make him slow down. Pull his hair, tell him to behave and then call him a good boy for listening. Levi will go the extra mile to cater to your desires and if you want slow he’ll do slow, if you want fast then he’ll do fast. (Although he’s always wanting to just go at it like a madman he’ll control himself if you tell him to)
Q = Quickie (They opinions on quickies, how often etc)
🎮 He’s a walking quickie- he’s a suggestion away from pulling you into his room. Levi can cum so quickly too, so they’re perfect for him just a little something something before having to bear the pressures of normie society and RAD for the day. Morning quickies are his favourite and best to do it before the two of you get dressed because as mentioned before he always makes a mess.
R = Risk (Are they game to experiment? Do they take risks? Etc)
🎮 Levi has so many things he wants to try, there’s a whole list of those he wants to try with you. He’s not careless or stupid about it. Levi is meticulous in researching it, and he’ll tell you straight up everything about whatever it is that he wants to try. He gives you an out and places your opinion above his. Levi is ecstatic if you want to try something and thus far there hasn’t been anything crazy enough to make you decline a request.
S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for? How long do they last?)
🎮 Well he’s a premature ejaculator most of the time. (Makes him cry and shit because he’s so embarrassed and you just tease him and it makes it worse) But he’s got the stamina to make up for it because he can go until you call it quits. He’s not a stranger to overstimulating himself and will keep going.
T = Toys (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or on themselves?)
🎮 Oh Levi’s naughty little toy box~ That you accidentally stumbled upon and discovered his rather large collection of fleshlights and vibrators. You’ve added to it since then but yes Levi absolutely loves using toys! Gets all excited when waiting to try out a new one, especially likes the ones you use on him. Chastity cages, cock rings, hell even prostate vibrators. Lowkey likes it when you spank him a little too.
U = Unfair (How much they like to tease?)
🎮 Prefers being on the receiving end of teasing and loves it when you’re mean to him and just won’t give in. He’ll beg and cry and you’ll keep denying him, even when he’s sobbing and whining he’s still loving every second. As for being the one doing the teasing, he doesn’t have much patience to do it plus he listens a little too easily to you. If you tell him to stop, then being the obedient cutie he is, he will. (Unless you made him jealous then strap in for some rare dom Levi time.)
V = Volume (How loud they are? What sounds they make? Etc)
🎮 Whiney, sobs, gasps, the most pathetic sounding moans (but also the most adorable), loads of begging. He’s not loud enough to be considered obnoxious but he’s also loud enough to warrant getting his room sound proofed. He would literally die if someone had to hear him sobbing and begging for you to let him fuck you while you’re telling him to be a good boy and he gets all giddy over that.
W = Wild Card (A random headcanon for the character?)
🎮 He got so sad when you found out he was stealing your underwear :( not because you find out (he was actually hoping for that) but he was upset because you confiscated all the pairs he’d secretly hoarded thus far (you literally needed your underwear and this man was hoarding them??) It’s actually become like a reward system. Everytime Levi does something hard and goes out of his comfort zone he’ll get a little sticker on a cute card you made him. Once he’s done 10 hard tasks he’s allowed one pair of your underwear. (Rewards systems like games, are a great motivator for him.)
X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on under those clothes?)
🎮 Human form - It’s always the introverted nerdy boys packing the biggest dicks - Absolutely pleasant surprise for you though when you saw just how big Levi was, and honestly wondered how he managed to even hide something that big. Good 9 inches and girthy, prominent veins, downward curve (listen gravity just taking it’s just dues with a dick that big) He’s begging you to please stop with all jokes about him being big.
🎮 Demon form - Surprise, double the fun. No seriously you couldn’t stop yourself from being floored :0 by the fact that his transformation gave him not one, but two big dicks. As for the physical changes you noticed scales on the base with a few stray ones leading up, and a larger more bulbous tip.
Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)
🎮 High high drive - can’t help it, can’t even keep his hands to himself. It’s to the point of where he’s asking you on the daily for a little “quality” time. If you ever have an argument the best thing you can do is threaten sex ban for a week and watch him crumble. It only got worse after you introduced him to all the lovely pleasures of the flesh (is he sure he isn’t the real avatar of lust)
Z = Zzz (How quickly they fall asleep afterwards?)
🎮 He gets really eepy, and quiet. He’ll seek you out in some way, wanting to lay his head on your chest or thighs, or he’ll pull you close and hold you all snug against him giving you little snuggles and nuzzling into you. The warmth of your skin against his cold body just warms him up and makes him feel so cozy that he’ll be falling asleep quite quickly.
Taglist: @completelyshatteredbrokenmschf
#trashytoastboi#obey me#seven days of sin event#leviathan#obey me leviathan#unholy toast#male reader#female reader#gender neutral s/o#gender neutral reader#leviathan x reader#levi x reader#obey me nightbringer#om! nightbringer#unholy toast alphabet
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Some bittersweet concepts about Mask because he's my boy. (Am I the only one, or does he give grumpy kitten vibes?)
- Mask hates washing up, especially baths. He's never really enjoyed it, but after dealing with the Water Temple and Kakariko Well from OoT, he just can't stand water anymore. The only time he ever really enjoyed it or even tolerated it is when he could use the Zora mask, but in his Hylian body? He'll fight tooth and nail to avoid water in any significant quantity.
- He actually doesn't mind being treated like a kid. He doesn't like people thinking of him as a child, but being held and taken care of makes him so happy. It brings him a sense of comfort and safety he craves deeply, and as much as he pretends not to be, he's incredibly clingy.
- I like to play around with the idea that Mask stays with Warriors after the war. He doesn't really feel at home in his own Hyrule, and the Captain became like family to him, so why not stay? He probably has abandonment issues after his adventures, and he's not going to let anything take him away from the older brother he's found in Wars. (Something something the downfall timeline exists because Mask never returned to his era?)
- And finally, a bit of a sadder thought. What if Mask never actually grows up? The irony that he was raised with the kokiri that never age, and even though he wasn't actually one of them, he faces the same fate because of how much time manipulation he's been through. His mind continues to mature, but his body stops growing at a certain point.
You’re so real for this, Mask for sure has cat vibes. It’s giving kitten that just face planted in a bowl of milk and hasn’t recovered yet
THE IDEA OF HIM GETTING TO STAY BEHIND WITH WARRIORS AFTER THE WAR IS SO SWEET AND I LOVE IT SO MUCH, AND THE THING WITH THAT BEING WHERE THE DOWNFALL TIMELINE COMES FROM IS SO COOL
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Ok but Mary Ann saying she doesn’t feel good and wants to go home? She doesn’t care about the fighting or why they’re fighting. It’s just something she was brought to by an adult.
Ruben being so confused why Wanda/Fig would want him slowed, as they’re fighting, and saying he “had to” use Psychic Scream because the Bad Kids are killing his friends? That feels like he’s just doing what he was told and mimicking actions he learned from the adults around him, not that he actually believes in whatever cause they’re fighting for, and that he has to attack to stop the Bad Kids.
The fact that Porter and Jace were bringing them high level monsters to deal the killing blows to in order to make the Rat Grinders stronger, but they’ve never actually been in a real fight themselves? All of the Rat Grinders being killed just to be brought back with rage crystals that changed their personalities, and even the deity that they believed in (looking at you, Buddy)
These kids have basically been groomed for battle, to give Porter and Jace a better army, without them getting any real battle experience or being taught about strategy or anything, just being told what they need to do. Probably being dragged to the gym for the fight without really caring about the fight but they’re kids so they have no sense of autonomy.
Especially taking the Devil’s Honey into account, I wouldn’t be surprised if they’ve been told so many lies that part of them really does believe that this is all a game or that once Porter is made a god, things will be better and all the people they killed can just be brought back. Even Lucy. They might not even feel the weight of their own actions. They don’t know the severity of killing, nor do they know the severity of losing someone other than Lucy
#fantasy high#fantasy high junior year#dimension 20#dimension 20 fhjy#the rat grinders#the bad kids#fhjy spoilers
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the seven (+ nico and reyna) if they were children if minor gods/goddesses
percy - i'm not gonna lie, it was so hard to find a minor god for percy. the best one i found is basically just another god the sea: nereus. he was a son of primordial gods; gaea (sorry for that, percy, omg 😭) and pontus, primordial god of the ocean. anyway, nereus was also a god of wisdom, prophetic visions (so it would kind of make sense for percy to be a 'prophecy child' if his dad was a prophecy god ig), and change. also! nereus valued loyalty (and, if we excuse demigod children lmao, he was loyal to his wife), and loyalty is percy's fatal flaw.
annabeth - themis, the greek goddess of justice, order, and overall fairness (not unlike nemesis), which are all values that i think annabeth holds close to her. themis is also depicted to be extremely wise (and sometimes she's also called a goddess of wisdom), another trait that annabeth believes in.
jason - aiolos, roman god of the wind (the greek version is aeolus). he's also known as the 'keeper of the four winds,' meaning he also controlled storm winds, so jason would likely have similar powers to children of jupiter. also, his name means 'quick-moving.' jason already has powers relating to storms and winds (those are his main powers, other than lightning), and being a son of aiolos would likely just increase his power over wind.
leo - i honestly couldn't find any minor gods that suit leo, but i think pallas, greek god of warcraft/handcrafts (and in some cases - 'useful arts,' which i'm taking to mean machines/mechanics, etc.). pallas is often also related to athena, goddess of wisdom, but i believe he's depicted as more of a 'quick-thinker,' which suits leo a lot.
piper - psyche, greek goddess of the soul; she's described, in mythology, as a mortal-turned-goddess whose beauty rivalled aphrodite's. the goddess represents passions, as well as misfortunes. this means piper could likely still have charmspeak because of psyche's close relation/similarity to aphrodite.
hazel - i feel like this one's sort of obvious; hecate. not only is she goddess of the mist and magic, but also ghosts, so hazel would have similar powers to a child of hades/pluto. hazel is already shown to have powers over the mist, and hecate is often associated with gemstones/crystals, which hazel can also already control.
frank - i really couldn't find many gods for frank, but i think honos, the greek god of honour, works well. he also represents glory, and in some cases, bravery. these are all some of frank's best qualities - ones that he himself actually values a lot too. additionally, honos symbolises victory and achievement, which are more qualities that frank would need for his role as praetor, etc.
nico - ok. so. the best one i could find was erebus; primordial god of shadows and darkness. he's also the god of a particularly dark part of the underworld, so it's likely he'd also have control over ghosts and bones (like nico does). this probably also means children of erebus could shadow-travel. and, although he isn't always perceived as powerful, erebus is. one interesting thing about erebus - even though he is not explicitly evil, his name is often used interchangeably with tartarus (which, if we're talking about experiences with tartarus: this could be an added factor as to why nico went to tartarus so confidently. if he didn't know enough about his father, he might've assumed he could be okay through tartarus.)
reyna - fides, roman goddess of loyalty and trust. fides is said to represent everything 'required for honour and credibility.' throughout the heroes of olympus, it's clear that honour and trust are two things reyna values deeply. it's also said that fides embodies everything needed for soldiers in rome, which, as praetor (for a long time), reyna is to be considered a soldier of new rome. additionally, loyalty and faithfulness are two qualities valued by artemis and her huntresses.
#ok but piper as a daughter of psyche omg <3#i really wish we got to see more children of minor gods/goddesses#because its kind of boring that the seven are all just children of the 12 olympians#LIKE CMON THERE ARE SUCH COOL MINOR GODS#anywho#thank you wikipedia for helping figure out who the gods are 🙏🙏#percy jackson#annabeth chase#jason grace#leo valdez#piper mclean#hazel levesque#frank zhang#reyna avila ramirez arellano#nico di angelo#greek mythology#greek gods#roman gods#roman mythology#riordanverse#percy jackson and the olympians#percy jackon and the olympians#percy jackson and the heroes of olympus#heroes of olympus#pjo#hoo#toa#pjo hoo toa#pjo hoo#lemme know if you have any ideas for gods that would fit any of the characters better 😭🙏
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Something... new? (Moment of Truth)
Here is a question. In a story about repetition, where the central threat is the cycle happening again, where the very concept of the narrative is that trauma and abuse echo in on themselves… how do you tell an interesting story?
Like, on a general level, stories are about change, so something that is, by its nature, formulaic, would probably be inconducive to storytelling. Right?
She-Ra and the Princesses of Power disagrees with this premise in a weird way. The third season of the series has been questioning the formula in increasingly outlandish way. The first episode gave the same story but with a twist at the end, the second dissected the formula itself by examining the foundation it is built on, and the third flipped the direction of the spiral for a time.
Moment Of Truth features, overwhelmingly, some of the most skill on display that the series will have at all. This isn’t a fan favourite episode, but it is genuinely incredible craft.
However, it is important to understand that this episode doesn’t do anything new. Every moment in this episode, bar the last two minutes, has happened before in the series.
All Moment Of Truth does to iterate on the formula, is take events of consequence, and place them immediately after one another. This episode messes with internal context, and it causes the tipping point of the series.
Let me explain.
SPOILERS AHEAD: (She-Ra and the Princesses of Power)
One thing that I thought was interesting, upon rewatching this episode, is how few and far between the jokes are.
The series has a very distinct sense of humour and uses it in an extremely specific way. This is essentially a story about abuse, trauma, and war, which are objectively pretty heavy things. But it is also aimed at younger audiences, so it cushions each of its heavy blows with a joke.
This is why the character of Madam Razz is the most important character in the series. Her kookiness combined with her wisdom allows her to discuss some truly confronting and uncomfortable topics with grace and good nature. The humour is what makes this show approachable.
This is also why Aabria Iyengar’s style of game mastering for TTRPGs is so fascinating to watch. And, though I can’t verify that she is fun to play with since I have never played at her table (@quiddie please), her fellow cast members in Dimension 20 and Critical Role seem like they are having a good time. Essentially, she balances out heaviness with entertainment, effectively artificially shifting up the Garfunkel threshold of the players she is GMing for.
For context to the absolute mess that was that last paragraph. The phrase “Garfunkel threshold” is used by an English teacher that I had a few years ago and literally nobody else. It refers to the area of emotion where a person is out of their comfort zone, but not truly uncomfortable. Fun scary, essentially.
Back to She-Ra. Moment of Truth doesn’t waste time with jokes unless it really needs it. This episode runs at a breakneck pace, and only stops to give you breath at the last moment.
As a result, the jokes that this episode tells are really funny. Although, if they were told in a vacuum, they probably wouldn’t be. For example:
“You won't try to escape if I just pop out for a quick sec, will you?”
“Uh... No?”
“Okay, great, really appreciate it.”
This is iconic in the fandom, and for good reason. This is one of my two favourite jokes in the series. The other is also in this episode, weirdly enough.
But… it’s not that funny of a moment.
If you heard this conversation in any other episode of this show, maybe if Adora had been captured for a one-off episode like Catra was halfway through season two, this joke would maybe get a smirk, but not much more.
So why does it work?
One word: Context. This episode stresses you out like few other episodes of television can do, and a few seconds before this joke, it successfully makes you think that Entrapta will try to hurt Adora.
Instead, you get a moment to hold in the tension, then a piece of humour that is utterly incongruous with the tone of the episode so far, and you have to laugh.
This is the same premise behind the humour in Alien, directed by Ridley Scott and written by Dan O’Bannon. That film has some incredible one liners that allow the audience to breathe and excise some catharsis in what a pretty gritty plot would otherwise be.
The perfect example of what I’m talking about here isn’t actually that much of a joke. It’s literally half a second that abrasively interposes itself into the break in and forces it to stumble. But the build up gives it so much levity.
The scene is off the back of Glimmer’s teleportation and the tension of Angella trying to stop it, followed by the constant stress of how easily Shadow Weaver is playing Glimmer like a chess piece. Mermista makes a quiet comment on the décor, a moment of levity that Shadow Weaver deliberately undercuts. Then we loose Perfuma to a fight we can’t see, the uncertainty of which is more stressful than knowing definitively that she has been killed.
Then the gang runs into Lonnie and Rogelio, two formidable foes, but two foes they have outnumbered. Stress rises, then the music cuts out for barely a moment as Lonnie flicks the alarm lever that is right next to her
It’s not a joke, it’s a character making an eminently sensible decision in contrast to the entirety of the rest of the cast. But the musical cue pauses the tension of the scene for just enough time for you to give a brief laugh, then the scene resumes in earnest, and continues at its previous pace. It isn’t a lot, but it’s enough to keep the story fun.
Basically, the show is made up of seriousness and humour, and those are held together by a single piece of Velcro, and that is working overtime to a truly extraordinary degree.
Except, that isn’t true. She-Ra and the Princesses of Power doesn’t treat humour and earnestness as separate at all, they run together and punctuate each other.
The other main thing that this episode does is a perspective twist. Moment Of Truth is all about context, and so the events play through the views of unusual characters.
Case and point, Glimmer and co. have gone rogue to do their own thing countless times in this series, and every time they get back, Angella chastises them.
However, this is the first time we have witnessed Angella’s reaction to Glimmer’s disappearance, and we get a sense of desperation from her.
Angella doesn’t have to speak her thoughts out loud to let the audience know what is happening. She sees Glimmer has gone and immediately realises that she has gone rogue again, so she checks Shadow Weaver’s quarters, because she knows what her daughter will do in this situation.
Meanwhile, the shots of Glimmer are from Shadow Weaver’s perspective. Almost as if Shadow Weaver is positioning herself as a replacement mother figure for Angella.
I could comment on the animation of this scene, but my analysis there is very much limited to “oooh pretty”. Which is fine, but nothing anybody hasn’t said before.
So, instead, spoilers for the season three finale (skip to the next paragraph if you’re avoiding those), this is the last time Angella sees Glimmer, and she is powerless to stop her. Angella is a character riddled with guilt, and this will come up later when I discuss the finale.
Back to the episode at hand, a significant chunk of this episode is as told by Shadow Weaver, so we get the full breakdown of how terrifyingly competent she is at her designated skillset. Shadow Weaver is a manipulative character, and so she is playing chess with the plot of the entire series in a way that only one other character comes close to matching, and I’m going to start my discussion of that by discussing her powers.
Magic is a facet of narrative literalism, where a metaphor within a story becomes tangible. For example, Glimmer is impulsive, so she teleports around, jumping to conclusions without taking the time to walk. She is also stubborn, so her powers make her uncontainable.
Shadow Weaver, meanwhile, is a parasite. She has magical talent of her own, but in this episode, all she does is leach off Glimmer’s power to further her own ends.
In a series about freedom of autonomy, Shadow Weaver exists in contrast to Hordack. Where these characters focus on the freedom aspect to contain and confine their enemies, Shadow Weaver twists her victim’s autonomy and takes control of them in a way that is insidious and very realistic. She is like Light Hope, which is interesting.
That parasitic nature actually reflects into Shadow Weaver’s manipulative technique, as she never targets someone who is, for lack of a better term, strong. This is difficult to explain: Glimmer needs something, and Shadow Weaver positions herself as the answer. She finds someone who is at their lowest point, and makes them dependant on herself.
This is, fun fact, why Perfuma, Mermista, and Frosta are seemingly immune to her influence. I’m grasping at straws here for Frosta’s characterisation because she gets about two lines in the entire episode, but I’m onto something with Perfuma and Mermista.
Perfuma is a paragon hero who does not compromise in her beliefs. This causes trouble in the series, as is the nature of this story, but it means that in the several instances Shadow Weaver tries to get under her skin, Perfuma brushes it off. Perfuma considers what Shadow Weaver has to say, but keeps in mind at all times that she is an abuser and therefore not to be trusted.
Mermista, meanwhile, is the best character in the series and you cannot change my mind. In seriousness, Mermista is detached and cold, a strength which, like Perfuma’s ethics, causes conflict at other points in the series. However here, it means that we have a character who does not take Shadow Weaver seriously at all, meaning that her grandiose pontificating is meaningless. Mermista sees Shadow Weaver for what she is, a prisoner scabbling for scraps of power from someone else, and she sees an easy rout to stopping that.
Anyway, the interrogation scene.
There is a spotlight on Glimmer and Bow here. They are on a stage, and Shadow Weaver sits on a couch, watching them. They are performing for her. She is in control.
“You are smart, you want to stop the Horde, and you know I'm the only one who can help you do that. I must admit, I thought it would take you longer to speak with me.”
Shadow Weaver is easing Glimmer into thinking she has control. She compliments her, casually offering her own services as help to the princess. But she also positions herself as lower than Glimmer. The last line implies that she is surprised and that Glimmer has the upper hand, letting her into a false sense of security.
“His machine is complete? And they have Adora? We must hurry. If Hordak has the opportunity to open a portal, he will do so immediately. The Alliance will never get there in time – but perhaps...”
She is surprised again, apparently. Shadow Weaver has taken care to position herself as omnipotent, that’s why the compliment to Glimmer being unexpected is there.
Effectively, if the smart guy is outsmarted, they are on the back foot. If the smart guy is surprised, they are in danger.
So, Shadow Weaver emphasises the danger of the situation, stressing that the alliance’s inability to help. But wait… it just happened to occur to her, just now, that Glimmer might be able to fix this. She wasn’t planning this at all, it was spontaneous, and a piece of knowledge she doesn’t think would work.
Needless to say, I think Shadow Weaver is talking utter bollocks about this. For my evidence, I propose the following questions: If Shadow Weaver didn’t know about Adora’s capture, how does she know about the rebellion’s plans? Is it possible she is pulling facts out of her backside to further her own ends?
“I can make you stronger. I'm still the only sorceress who has ever been able to tap into a runestone. If you allow me to access your connection to the Moonstone, I can enhance your powers. You could teleport us all the way there.”
Here is Shadow Weaver’s gambit. She can solve the problem for Glimmer, she can give Glimmer the assistance she needs. It’s a Faustian bargain, and she doesn’t mention at all what she gains from this deal, that’s just something that slips her mind.
Of course, she could be doing this out of the goodness of her heart, kindness isn’t transactional, but this is Shadow Weaver we are talking about. Shadow Weaver exists on conditional affection and saw fit to make demands as a prisoner of war. I don’t think Shadow Weaver is the type of person to offer aid for nothing.
“I want to destroy Hordak.”
This is Shadow Weaver’s stated motivation, she says it again later on in the episode, and it is mainly used to distract Glimmer and give her a “an enemy of my enemy is my friend” type of bargain. But I’d like to examine this motivation a little bit, because I think she is lying about this as well.
In the end fight of the episode, Shadow Weaver casts two spells, both of which could have been aimed at Hordack, but neither are. Instead, she destroys the room, and she targets Catra. Shadow Weaver is a parasite, and a liar.
Which leads into Catra’s descent into madness, something that is told entirely from everyone else’s perspective. Until the end, but we will get there.
Shadow Weaver physically abuses a child in this scene. That is objectively what this is. The fact that this is magical is the only thing that let the writers get this through censorship. But I want to be clear here, this is not simply punishing misbehaviour, this is not tough love, this is not building strength. Shadow Weaver physically abuses a child in this scene.
This is a mirror of the scene in Promise, to the point where the spell is the same, and it is notable that it would have been easier to just zap Catra and leave her there, but Shadow Weaver decides to torture her.
And this scene is viewed from Glimmer’s perspective, showing her the true monster that she is aligned with, but also the power that Shadow Weaver exhibits. This is the deal Glimmer made, summed up, agency for complacency. Glimmer has to make herself ok, at least partially, with this side of Shadow Weaver, which makes her complicit in what is, again, the physical abuse of a child.
We have seen this scene before, but here it is through a different lens, and that changes how we read it, and keeps it interesting.
It is also notable that Bow is the one who stops Shadow Weaver and pulls Glimmer back. Which is interesting.
Bow is Shadow Weaver’s antithesis. Angella is too, but Bow is her main equal opposite. Bow is kind, uncomplicatedly so, and he is the final character who remains immune to Shadow Weaver’s tricks.
Although Bow stays above Shadow Weaver by playing the same game as her, just more fairly. Bow is a tactician, and a damn good one at that. He isn’t as good as Shadow Weaver, nobody is, but he is easily the second best in the series by a long shot.
But Bow plays fair, at all times. He lets people know what their roles are, he communicates, and he relies on other people as much as they rely on him. His relationships are mutual, where Shadow Weavers are parasitic.
Bow exists on trust.
Speaking of which, when Catra betrays Entrapta, the scene is shot from Scorpia’s point of view, and we again see her utter powerlessness to stop the situation. This is the cycle of abuse in full effect. Catra was denied her own agency, and so the way she tries to reclaim it is by removing others of theirs. Scorpia can’t do anything as her friend is carried away to a death sentence.
The final scene, however, is from Adora’s perspective. We see Catra’s world fall apart around her, quite literally, and we see Adora watch her oldest friend descend into madness. Once again, the watcher is powerless, as Catra continues the cycle of abuse.
You understand that Catra has nothing left to lose, and while you don’t agree with her decision, you can see why she did it, which is important. Reason and justification are not the same, but they do both make analysis easier, which I am grateful for.
This sets up the next episodes and Catra’s characterisation there. Catra doesn’t care about her own safety or the continued existence of the world itself, she just wants to feel better by exhibiting some kind of control over the people she perceives to have hurt her.
Which also sets up my diagnoses of Catra, and I’m not sure how the fandom will react to this, but I think Catra is the villain here.
Catra, in this episode, and in the next few episodes, is abusive, manipulative, and controlling. Essentially, she fits all three of the parameters for evil that the series has established.
Yes, she has a reason for her actions, but she isn’t morally grey anymore, she is choosing to burn the world down out of spite. Cool motive, still murder. Catra is the villain.
But is she irredeemable? I would argue “no”.
Spoilers for the rest of the series, but I can’t really explain why Catra’s redemption is possible to me other than the fact that she was redeemed, and it worked for me.
I don’t believe in good and bad people; I believe in actions. Sure, there are people who do unconditionally horrible things, a lot, but I would argue that the best way to redeem oneself is to stop doing those things and get better.
It’s as if morality is a quality you have to work at, with enough practice, you can improve.
And I think Catra’s redemption is so well executed, specifically because of the fact she is villainous here. If she hadn’t hit rock bottom and then sunk even further, her climb wouldn’t be nearly as compelling, at least to me.
Micah's memory casts a shadow over Angella as she makes her decisions, colouring her argument with her daughter. I wonder if there is some symbolism there.
Final Thoughts
The reason that Moment of Truth isn’t as popular as Promise or Save The Cat, is that it isn’t spectacular, it’s just impressive. By which I mean, the shot composition of this episode is stellar, but I can’t exactly point out every Dutch angle or perspective warp, or how many emotions Entrapta goes through in a single close up.
Also, the pacing of this episode actually slows down, rather than gaining momentum. It increases in tension, but the scenes get longer and more drawn out. We are reaching the event horizon, essentially, and time is getting wibbly wobbly. But that isn’t exactly something that wows an audience.
So if I was to recommend this episode, I would point to the teleportation scene, or the fight between Catra and Shadow Weaver. Both of which look cool, but don’t hold up by themselves when contrasted with other episodes in this series.
Basically, Moment Of Truth is competent, but in a way, its playing things safe on a majour scale, which is unfortunate. This episode deserves more love.
Anyway, next week, I will be looking at Remember, and taking narrative literalism to its extreme. So stick around if that interests you.
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#rants#literary analysis#literature analysis#what's so special about...?#character analysis#she ra and the princesses of power#spop#she ra#spop glimmer#shadow weaver#catra#adora#spop catra#spop mermista#mermista can do no wrong#she ra princess of power#she ra and the princess of power fanart#she ra spop#she ra catra
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