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#this post satisfies my need to make lists
schizodiaries · 11 months
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list of cognitive distortions
Cognitive distortions are biased and negative thinking patterns not based on fact or reality. They impact how we see ourselves/others and are usually associated with depression, anxiety, or trauma. (Note: this list was given to me by my therapist and is not my original writing.)
All-or-nothing thinking — You see things in black-and-white categories. If your performance falls short of perfect, you see yourself as a total failure.
Overgeneralization — You see a single negative event as a never-ending pattern of defeat.
Mental filter — You pick out a single negative detail and dwell on it exclusively so that your vision of all reality becomes darkened, like the drop of ink that discolors the entire beaker of water.
Disqualifying the positive — You reject positive experiences by insisting they “don’t count” for some reason or other. In this way you can maintain a negative belief that is contradicted by your everyday experiences.
Jumping to conclusions — You make a negative interpretation even though there are no definite facts that convincingly support your conclusion. A) Mind reading: You arbitrarily conclude that someone is reacting negatively to you, and you don’t bother to check this out. B) Fortune telling: You anticipate that things will turn out badly, and you feel convinced that your prediction is an already-established fact.
Magnification (catastrophizing) or minimization — You exaggerate the importance of things (such as a goof-up or someone else’s achievement), or you inappropriately shrink things until they appear tiny (your own desirable qualities or other people’s imperfections). This is also called the “binocular trick.”
Emotional reasoning — You assume that your negative emotions necessarily reflect the way things really are. “I feel it, therefore it must be true.”
Should statements — You try to motivate yourself with should and shouldn’t, as if you had to be whipped and punished before you could be expected to do anything. “Musts” and “oughts” are also offenders. The emotional consequences are guilt. When you direct “should” statements towards others, you feel anger, frustration, and resentment.
Labeling and mislabeling — This is an extreme form of overgeneralization. Instead of describing your error, you attach a negative label to yourself. “I’m a loser.” When someone else’s behavior rubs you the wrong way, you attach a negative label to them. Mislabeling involved describing an event with language that is emotionally loaded.
Personalization — You see yourself as the cause of some negative external event, which in fact you were not primarily responsible for.
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existennialmemes · 6 months
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Couple quick questions for the folks who are suddenly experts in women's sports and the biology of hormones:
If Testosterone, as you claim, is such an irreversible force of muscle enhancement, why are adult men ever treated for lowered T levels?
Shouldn't the testosterone they were "exposed to" in adolescence have buffed them for life?
And follow up question: if testosterone "exposure" at any time in your life gives you unmitigated physical advantages, why is loss of muscle mass a prominent symptom of low testosterone in men?
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ecoamerica · 2 months
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youtube
Watch the American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 now: https://youtu.be/bWiW4Rp8vF0?feature=shared
The American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 broadcast recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by active climate leaders. Watch to find out which finalist received the $50,000 grand prize! Hosted by Vanessa Hauc and featuring Bill McKibben and Katharine Hayhoe!
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scionshtola · 7 days
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tbh i like doing the mining and the gathering myself but particularly the mining…it is just v satisfying to me. in a way the crafting itself is not really.
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ei-mugi · 5 months
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my main hurdle with my dcaf fic is my depression but my 2nd task-related hurdle is not knowing what eichi should be doing at my ambiguous and butchered chosen place in time--- nvm see the notes
#i already fucked up the start of checkmate but its fine the details dont have to be perfect#its so early on i can write a way around that. who cares#whats important is that it stays like thematically coherent. and characterisation needs to be consistent#but also liiike. whats----------- oh.#okay. i just thought of a solution to my problem#thats really easy why didnt i think of this months ago#ok im gonna write that down somewhere for after i finish my BB fic#and then several yaers down the line once i have a nicely wrapped and finished dcaf i can rewrite the whole thing to make it#accurate-er to the canon timeline of events. making a timeline just isnt fun to me sorry#the goal with dcaf wasnt to make it perfect it was to make it done yknow#i wanted to prove to myself i could write a longfic (or medfic at least) & that i could have a bare minimum satisfying narrative#so staying entirely true to canon isnt high on my priority list#learn how to make the thing THEN learn how to make it well u get me#i love roleplay but ive never done a whole lot of individual writing lol#i still need to reread those reminiscence events though... sigh... and ideally fluff out with some other stories too#i gotta manage my expectations on what i know im able to get done tho. sad but true#thank god i actually wrote notes when i was reading rocket start#i started writing notes when i started obbligato too tho im not far into that yet ive got other stuff to do#im totally distracted ok wrapping post up now
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oflgtfol · 1 year
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like ive showed off my din fandragon before but did i ever show anyone here how i was trying to FLIGHT RISING-IFY HIS BACKSTORY + THE PLOT OF THE MANDALORIAN? I WROTE A WHOLE THING BACK IN 2021. ITS SO LONG AND ITS STILL NOT TECHNICALLY DONE half of it is a wall of lorem ipsum
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any locations you don't recognize from star wars are locations in flight rising. the light gray text are links that go to wookieepedia. also ignore the music links that was still when my din playlist was in its infancy
and the whole Charge thing - so the fandragon's dragon species is a guardian and the lore behind that breed is that they have something called a Charge, which is like, a person or a place or a thing that they dedicate their whole lives to protecting. it can be something as important as like a person they only just met, or like a fucking flowerpot, it doesn't matter, its their Charge and they will die to keep it safe. they have a whole thing where they go on journeys and pilgrimages to try and find their Charge
so i thought a guardian fit din aesthetically but also the whole lore around charges i thought was also really a unique flight rising spin to put on the plot of the show
anyway rereading this now i realize i put mandalore in dragonhome? i wonder why i did that LMAO
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coridallasmultipass · 2 months
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TW for my usual unhinged stance on puppets, if you're following me, you know. If you're not, I'm sorry (not sorry). ((If you're the author or narrator, I'm actually sorry.))
Okay, so because I'm allowed to be freaky on main about puppets on this site, I just wanna tell everyone, because everyone should know that creepypasta narrator Lighthouse Horror just posted a story (by author Alonso Solis) about an evil puppet show a few days ago, and I just listened, and I loved it.
youtube
Now onto freaky business:
Headcanoning the main char as a puppetfucker bc c'mon, that bromance, the way he lovingly describes Mr. Smiley's appearance, what he does before leaving the old studio towards the end... Just... Mmmm... *chef's kiss* love this kinda content. I'll sleep soundly dreaming I could have someone like that. Y'know? Big, glassy eyes, big grin, secret evil laugh, mildly self-animate...
#god i love puppets so much man especially the evil ones but not exclusively yknow#even the word puppet is cute like puppies and i feel warm and fuzzy inside no pun intended (who am i kidding. fully intended)#need me a freak like that#also should probably tw for the story just general creepypasta themes evil puppets kids dyin unreality dubious morality in the main char etc#thats not an exhaustive list tho im not qualified to give an exhaustive list this is a thirst post i just wanna cover all my bases here#puppets#man im not even posting about puppets on my puppet named blog (it was just recommended when i typed that)#and thats a damn shame lmao i should make more so i can revive that blog (its just my art blog i gave up on separating from the main)#suggestive#for the post not the video#creepypasta#(tagging for a tw sorry to put that in the tag if ppl use the tag i have no idea i dont usually post ab creepypastas on here but ...#... given i saw a bunch of ouppet stuff earlier i remembered i can be weird on here about puppets. i guess anywhere...#...but here feels natural to be weird ab them)#ngl i couldnt stop thinkin of ... you know who ... with the description and how the main char keeps him around all the time#mmmmmmmm otp5eva in a different flavour mmmmmmmmm#should probably also confess that#OBLIGATORY: 'DISCLAIMER: i'M HI (HIGH)' TAG#bc im probably gna regret typing all this tmr but fuck man#i love puppets dudeeeeeee i can scream about it forever#ok this is enough im getting too sappy im def gonna regret that#Cori.exe#Post.exe#video#horror#sorry steven and alonso lol i hope yall are too busy to see this im totally normal about puppets it was all a joke#((whispering to followers: its not a joke dont worry i wouldnt play u like that))#((puppetfucker 4 lyfe bruhhh believe it))#((fuck man i love them so much))#i want more evil puppet/etc horror content theres never enough to satisfy me i am insatiable about puppets in horror
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ecoamerica · 1 month
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youtube
Watch the 2024 American Climate Leadership Awards for High School Students now: https://youtu.be/5C-bb9PoRLc
The recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by student climate leaders! Join Aishah-Nyeta Brown & Jerome Foster II and be inspired by student climate leaders as we recognize the High School Student finalists. Watch now to find out which student received the $25,000 grand prize and top recognition!
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finniestoncrane · 17 days
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PREWAR COOPER STUFFS ❤️‍🔥 DESPERATELY needing some fluffy morning after/Sunday morning routine with his wifey 😩👏 him being VERY grabby and just an absolute horndog dkfnfnrk (he is down bad for reader)
Morning, Sunshine
Cooper Howard x Fem!Reader, word count: 1k hello post divorce cooper, please hit me up, i'll make you eggs (also post-divorce barb i know you're a baddie but that's just my type so i'll make you eggs too pls lemme make you eggs too...ANYWAY) but please this is so cute and i have made it gender neutral as you corrected so everyone enjoy being cooper's little chef and getting caressed by this hungover idiot 🤎 request info • prompt list • send me a request • kofi • masterlist minors DNI!! 🔞 cw: suggestive things, mentions of alcohol, angst
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Cooper stumbled into the kitchen, his feet shuffling on the floor as though they were made of lead, unable to lift them any higher. He groaned as the light from the windows assaulted him, and you smiled without turning to him, offering a brief, hushed 'good morning'. He returned the greeting with a groan. His entire body felt weighed down, the ache of sleeping in one position all night, lacked out in a drunken stupor after he had pawed at you and attempted to fuck the lingering stress out of his body.
And now he was in his own kitchen, messy from the small gathering of friends from the night before, stressed once more and hungover as shit to boot.
But there you were, by the stove, the source of the wonderful smell that had woken him up and had him drifting from the sancutary of his dark bedroom to face the world. Even when he was hungover, or sick, or just too damn tired to accept reality, he did it anyway. Who knew how many more mornings there were for him to see? That looming threat, the dark secret he had to keep to himself, one not even Barb knew was the real reason for their divorce. The source of his agonies, but also, the reason he felt so inspired to wake up each morning and spend as much of the time he had left with you as possible.
"I wasn't expecting you out of bed any time beforeat least midday, Coop."
"Then you shouldn't have started cooking something so god damn delicious."
His voice grew closer as he made his way, instinctually, towards you.
"I'm sorry, did it wake you up?"
"It did, but there's nothing to apologise for."
He was behind you now as you stood in front of the burners, a pan in your hand, your signature omelette cooking over the heat, your grip wobbling a little as Cooper looped his arms around your body. Everything he did stole your attention, pulling your focus with his charismatic personality, the way he commanded a room the moment he entered. And it didn't help that he had begun to kiss at your neck, letting his lips drag along your prickling skin as he moved down to your shoulder, nuzzling back into you as he sighed. The satisfied moan on the exhale had your stomach tensing, eliciting a soft moan of your own in reply.
"You want me to make you something to eat?"
"Please, darlin'. If that isn't a bother."
"Never is for you, Mr Howard. You get a coffee and take a seat, I'll be right with you."
Once he was seated with his mug, the morning newspaper to the side of the place setting at the kitchen island, you turned from the stove to plate up the omelette for him. It was the first you had properly looked at him that morning, and you could feel your breath hitching as you took him in. Even in this state, bedraggled, skin greasy with a sheen of sweat, hair unkempt and slicked back in messy waves, his breath, which you could smell over the countertop, still tainted with the cocktails he’d been making the night before. Even with all of that, he was still the most handsome man you had ever laid eyes on. And those same eyes couldn’t help but fall to his chest, his robe hanging open, exposing his torso down to his navel.
You wondered if he’d bothered to find any underwear to put on before covering himself with the short robe when he’d stumbled out of bed.
“Oh, sweetheart. You made this for yourself.”
“You eat first, I’ll make one for myself just now.”
Cooper flashed you a grin, one you remembered seeing so often in press photos, at promotional events.
“You really are a doll, know that?”
You returned his smile, turning back to the stove as he ate a few bites of the omelette with a satisfied groan. Cooper took a sip of coffee, watching you over the top of the mug. Every day could be the last. He didn’t want to believe it, but it always hung in the back of his mind. He’d lost Barb to Vaut-Tec, lost Janey, at least partly, to the divorce. He’d lost his sense of security to the war, his work to the paranoia that had burrowed inside of him. You were all he had now, and intended to cling to you with everything he had. Holding your hand tight at the party last night, clutching your body in the bed as he fucked you, passionate, desperate. His fingers entwined in yours as you slept, then holding you in his arms, your body smooth and warm.
Cooper stood up from his chair, unintentionally quiet to the point where you didn’t even notice he had moved until he was right behind you again, pressing himself against you so tight that you could feel the beginnings of his erection pushing into you. With a firm hand, he took your wrist, guiding you to set down the pan, switching the stove off and turning you in a choreographed spin so that you were facing him, your chests together, eyes trained on one another.
“You got enough ingredients for another, right?”
“Uh… yeah? Why?”
“I just think it might be ruined by the time I’m finished with you.”
His hands slipped down from your lower back, cupping both of your cheeks as he raised his eyebrows in a silent, questioning plea. Every moment with you was precious to him, every inch of your body worth placing a kiss to, worth tasting and savouring. Why not make the most of your time together by making sure you were as close to each other, as pleasured and satisfied, as possible?
So, when you blushed, biting your lip and giggling, he knew you agreed, and he took your hand and pulled you back to the comfort of the bedroom with you, hoping to relieve himself of a little more stress.
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olliedollie1204 · 2 years
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I HAVE SO MANY IDEAS of what i want in a journal/planner but i can't find the exact right format that suits me and i hate using apps for that stuff bc i never remember to actually use them properly so i really wanna design my own layout and create one myself but ughhhh visual design is not my strong suit
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nihilistem · 9 months
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adhd study tips.
by a stem student with adhd.
disclaimer!!! I’m by no means an expert in mental health or adhd but I do happen to have it. My intention with this post is to help others with adhd get more comfortable with studying so the process will be smoother for them!! At the end of the day, despite having the same disorder our brains will still work differently so do keep in mind that these may or may not help you, but are something you can try out if you’re stuck on not being able to study efficiently.
here’s some adhd study affirmations + tips on straying from discouragement if you’re experiencing burnout.
(And here’s part 2 of adhd study tips.)
I’ll start this off by listing more commonly known study tips that also work well with adhd.
change up your environment every now and then. we seek novelty even more than neurotypical people already do so switching it up will definitely help in our studies, especially if the place is well lit!
try some questions of the topic you’re trying to learn even when you know nothing about it. both neurotypical and neurodivergent brains are hardwired to remember things when we are proven wrong, and this is a great way of utilizing this neurological response!
take walks, exercise or stretch during your breaks. this tip is very effective at satiating our hyperactivity and also keeps us energized throughout our study session.
keep a notebook for your brain dump / ideas. we always either think of really stupid things or the most brilliant ideas in the middle of our study sessions and it almost always leads to distraction, but writing it down somewhere lets your brain know that the idea isn’t going anywhere and you can continue studying.
now, onto the tips that have personally helped with my adhd (and I haven’t seen many others talk about.)
alternate between various study plans, routines, schedules and techniques and always be open to finding more of them. majority of the time people always say ‘have a routine that works for you and stick with it’ but our adhd brains get bored very quickly, especially when it comes to repeated routines and schedules. I personally never stick to the same routine or plan more than three days in a row and sometimes I even make a plan on the spot and I’ve been more productive doing that than when I had only one or two study routines to switch between.
do not time yourself at the very beginning. Instead, focus on something in your studies you’re interested in and start there. what do I mean by this? well, since starting is always the hardest, when we begin our very first pomodoro we might find ourselves spending the first 25 minutes zoning out on a textbook just to get that ‘study time’ in even though you didn’t actually learn or recall anything. So to combat this, begin with something you’re genuinely curious about, or ask a question you can’t help but wonder the answer to. Once you find the answer, you might find you’re more in the zone and can continue from there. If not, take a short break and begin the pomodoros afterwards.
if you’re zoning out while reading up on a topic, try walking around while reading, looking at different sources on it or do some questions on that topic. again, novelty always gets us every time. sometimes the problem may be that the explanation in front of you isn’t making sense in your head and other sources may phrase things in a way that is better for your understanding. perhaps the problem is that you’re staying too still and you need to satisfy the hyperactive part of your adhd. or maybe your brain subconsciously believes that they already know what needs to be known about this topic, and there’s no better way to test that by trying out some questions on it.
switch between lyrical and non-lyrical music playlists, but make sure the lyrical music inspires you to excel. this definitely won’t apply to a lot of people but I found that when I constantly listened to piano, lo-fi or just non-lyrical music while studying in general, it actually promoted my likelihood of zoning out. but recently I found a playlist I deeply resonated with that was related to my studies called, ‘pov : a try-hard mid student who wants to ace everything’ and because I related very deeply with both the title and the lyrics of the songs, I was actively being encouraged to study as I was studying. but I also recognize when I really need to think in certain areas and that’s when I switch back to the non-lyrical music.
this is all I have as of right now but please do lmk if you guys want more of these!! I really wanna help out as much people as possible because my studies suffered greatly due to both my adhd and my late diagnosis of it and I’d love to help out others going through something similar.
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jinkicake · 1 year
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Stuck in the Middle
You’re stuck between him and a hard place. 
Diluc, Kaeya, Xiao x Reader
A/N: I’m not going to post this weekend so here is a little something that I finished before I got sick heheh I can’t remember where I got this idea from but I wanted to try writing it
SMUT // NSFW 
WC - 1.7k 
~~~
Diluc R.
“My dear, I am begging you to stop squirming.” Diluc’s usual leveled voice sounds desperate to your own ears, you could almost believe he is starting to pant. You ignore him and shift your weight on your feet, unintentionally rubbing up against the bar owner. 
“I can’t help it,” You bite back as Diluc’s hands tightly squeeze your waist. His fingers dig into your sides as he grits his teeth and tries everything to prevent a nightmare from happening in his pants. “it’s just so tight in here.” The proximity of Diluc’s body pressed against your own starts to make your mind spin with possibilities. 
There are so many things you could do with him if you were not stuck in a closet within the Favonius headquarters. 
“Why did we even plan to regroup here anyway?” At your snappy tone, Diluc silently raises a brow. He doesn’t need to remind you that this was your genius plan and he merely went along with it to see you satisfied. “Just grab the key out of my back pocket then we can leave,”
As you glance back at your pocket and slightly lift your hip in Diluc’s direction, the man stalls in his movements. Diluc hesitates with his hand and hovers it right above your lower back. He extends his touch only to draw it away when he gets too close. 
“I can’t,” He murmurs and you would explode with anger if not for the deep blush now covering his face. 
“You can, you can,” You try your best to encourage him by placing your hands against his abdomen and fisting the material of his shirt in your palms. With each tug of the material, you weaken Diluc’s willpower more and more. “look it’s easy!” In contrast to the owner, with little hesitancy, you stick your hand in Diluc’s back pocket and he stiffens immediately under your touch. The poor man meets your sudden boldness with a swift glare. 
“If it is so easy then why don’t you do it yourself?” His irritation makes you tilt your head as you internally question his audacity. 
“Obviously, I would if I could reach! Your hand is right there, Diluc, just grab it!” Your nails dig into his pants, clawing at his backside and the sensation causes Diluc to press more of his weight against you. “Don’t get all chivalrous on me now.”
“I always treat you kindly,” Diluc all but spits through clenched teeth. 
“Not kindly enough if you won’t bail me out of this closet!” Your arguing is going nowhere but that is kind of the point. If you rile Diluc up just enough then you’ll be happy in no time. 
“How did the door lock in the first place?” 
If you had to guess, you could probably answer his question by merely covering your right eye (if you could bring your hands up to your face). 
“None of that matters! Diluc, we can either fuck in here or fuck on our bed at home. You choose and grab the damn key!” It seems you were too eager with your suggestion by the sudden glint in Diluc’s eyes.
It’s the same reason why you’re grinding on him a handful of minutes later, your moans messily muffled by his own mouth all while the key fits snuggly in Diluc’s palm.
Kaeya A.
Never in a million years did you expect to get stuck with Kaeya in the smallest storage closet known to man. Perhaps it was your fault for going along with his snooping of the Dawn Winery but, you didn’t expect Diluc to return early from his nightly shenanigans. 
Having the cavalry captain shove you into a broom closet with him in tow was not on your list of activities for the evening. 
In the small space, Kaeya is pressed up against you with no room to leave between his chest and pelvis with your backside. You can already feel the ache in your poor muscles from being smooshed up against the hard wall. This will be the last time you go along with the captain’s tricks. 
“Do you come here often?” Kaeya teases you as his lips brush against your ear, his hair tickling your cheek as he lowers his head to speak lowly to you. To hide your irritation, you bite the inside of your cheek and return to him with a sickeningly sweet tone. 
“Kaeya, I will bite your tongue off if you keep talking.” Your snappy retort is met with a low chuckle from the man behind you. The captain squeezes your hips with his large hands before lowering his lips to your jaw. 
“Kinky. Is that a promise?” His effortless charism is something you adore and cherish, but sometimes you really want to make the man crumble. 
It’s almost as if a lightbulb flickers above your head at the idea you’ve gained. Maybe being stuck like this isn’t as terrible as you imagined. 
“Make some more noise and you’ll find out,” Your whisper falls on deaf ears the moment you being to subtly shift your hips and place pressure against his core. The gentle roll of your hips, dragging up his hardening cock deliciously is enough to have Kaeya gasping out for air. 
“Oh, so this is what we’re doing?” He bites down on your ear as he braces himself against the wall with one of his elbows beside your head. “You’re making this too easy, honey,” His other hand snakes down from your hip to the front of your pants, and his fingertips sneak past your waistband as two of his fingers reach for your clit. No amount of biting the inside of your cheek or squeezing your eyes shut can hide the feeling of Kaeya’s talented fingers. 
The two of you play this game as if it is a mere push and pull. The more he toys with your cunt, the more your grind back against him. 
“First one to cum loses and has to go distract Diluc while the other escapes,” Kaeya’s heavy pants almost make you imagine that you’re winning if not for the tightening feeling in your belly. “so be a sweet girl and come for me.” 
You stubbornly shake your head and try to hold your breath as your hips falter, Kaeya’s swift strokes are doing numbs on your resolve. 
You refuse to lose this way. 
Needless to say, the game ended in a tie since Kaeya was nearly finishing in his pants the moment he got you into the closet. By the unimpressed look on Diluc’s face when he saw you two scrambling for the exit, he already knew exactly where you both were. 
“What are the two of you doing here?”
Xiao
((stuck between a rock and a hard place... hehe))
“I have an idea of what to do to pass time,” 
It was not on your daily agenda to get stuck between two rocks while working on a commission with Xiao. With how messily you slipped when your foot caught on a crevice within the boulder, you would have plunged down if not for the adeptus who caught you. The only issue is the two of you got stuck in the process. 
“I’ll count how many stars I see and then you’ll count how many stars you see, whoever has more is the winner.” 
Xiao can’t play along with your game, no matter how much he wishes to please you. The only thing he can focus on is the tilt of your chin and the puff of your lips, his eyes are glued to your mouth as you press your lips together in thought. He’s not looking up at the sky, he’s looking in the complete opposite direction. 
As your eyes flicker back and forth as you count your stars, Xiao tightly swallows. This onset of feelings he is now forced to deal with since you are in such close proximity to him is not something he is ready to unbox. Who knew a human could have so much power over an adeptus. 
“Xiao?” Your sweet voice calls his attention away from your lips and instead to your eyes. You expectantly wait for him to respond and the man does so with a slight grunt. “I was thinking about it, can’t you just teleport us out of here?” Your questioning gaze makes Xiao stiffen. The adeptus can only do so much without his focus, in this situation he can’t think about teleporting or anything other than you being right in front of him. You’re pressed so kindly up against his chest, he can feel every hint of warmth your body has to offer and-
He shakes his head out of fear that his voice might fail him. 
“Can we do something while we wait?” You’re looking at him so innocently that Xiao can only respond back with as much enthusiasm. He hopes he doesn’t come off as desperate. 
“Anything.”
“Archons,” The adeptus sucks in a breath as he stares down at your chest, how you got so much of your cleavage exposed he’ll never know. He quietly grunts and almost starts to pant as your thigh presses between his legs harder. 
“This is much more fun than counting the stars, right?” Who knew you could be so devious, so dirty-minded? This new revelation makes the adeptus’ head start to cloud over and through his lust-filled haze, he can only see you. Xiao hears the sweet giggles that leave your lips as you grind your thigh against his aching cock, he watches the sweet way you bash your eyelashes up at him. He can’t stand it, he needs to get out of here and take you somewhere else. “Xiao~”
Under the touch of your palms against his sensitive chest, the man almost starts to squirm. 
“Wait, (Y/N),” His abdomen begins to clench too tightly at this lewd act, he can’t cum like this. With all of his might, the adeptus pictures your bedroom and effortlessly teleports the two of you there as he has down a million times before. 
“Way to go, Xiao!” Your cheers are ignored as he pushes you back against your bed, shoving you down on your mattress before crawling over you.
“Now we are going to do this my way.”
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coinandcandle · 5 months
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Witchy New Year Refresh
It’s the new year soon and I wanted to share what I plan to do to invite 2024 in with vim and vigor!
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I plan to do this over a few weeks as doing it all at once would be exhausting and just isn’t possible for me. Do what works for you and listen to your mind and body!
Clean and Cleanse
Not just spiritually, but I plan to physically clean my space. Any time I am inviting something new into my home—be it the new year, new energy, or a new way of thinking—I clean and cleanse my space.
I’m not one for spiritual sterility, though. I tend to deep clean or organize my spaces and then I will move on to spiritually cleaning my space! Here are some ways you can do this:
Smoke cleansing - a common one but it’s a good one! Not a great option if you have asthma or pets.
Open windows - It’s pretty cold where I am right now but I still like to open the windows for a little bit to let the air flow through the space and carry out any stagnant air and energy.
Sound cleansing - Not always the best option for folks who live with others or have thin walls but I like to blast music and fill my space with sound. When doing this I prefer to use a playlist that invokes the energy I want to bring with me into the new year!
Spray incense - If smoke isn’t possible for you try using a sprayable incense! Just be careful since this will still distribute a substance across your space and if you have children or pets it’s best to use non-toxic plants for this.
Simmer pot - I love to throw together a simmer pot for cleansing my space. I find it works best in the room you’re in which is likely the kitchen but if you have a wax warmer or mug warmer then you can make a mini simmer pot by placing a heat-safe container of water on it and putting in whatever herbs and oils you want!
Connect and Reconnect
I have ADHD and if something is out of sight, it’s out of mind. To this point, I tend to forget about my oracle/tarot decks, offering vessels, and spell vessels. Here’s a few ways I plan to try to connect and reconnect with the spirits and energy around me.
Clean and organize altars or offering spaces - Self-explanatory but this means dusting, wiping down, and moving things around. It could also mean adding new things and tossing old things that have served their purpose.
Set out new offerings - I plan to try and truly connect to my house spirit(s) this year so I want to find a space in the home where I feel like I can best feel its energy and I will leave an offering. This also means refreshing offerings for deities.
Check-in with spell vessels - I’m a very physical witch, I tend to prefer having a real-world anchor for my spells. This adds up, though, and I’m stuck with a bunch of jars, bowls, pouches, or whatever else. Check-in and see if they’re still active or if you still need to maintain the physical aspect of the spell. If not, dispose of them appropriately.
New Year’s meditation - Practicing mindfulness and doing a meditation session to help me connect with myself going into the new year.
Shadow work or self-care - Shadow work is a form of self-care to me, though some of it can be intense and that’s not how I want to start my new year. Instead, I’ll be doing either some very gentle shadow work or I will be otherwise practicing simply self-care.
Misc
Other things you can do for the new year that I don’t have a category for!
Make a hearty and satisfying breakfast on New Year's Day to welcome in the new year--or at least a satisfying cup of coffee!
Drink tea that invokes the energy you’d like to follow you into the new year.
Make a list of things you would like to learn or try in the new year as far as your practice goes.
Here are some posts to look through for the coming year!
2024 Witchy Calendar by @breelandwalker
Witchy Self-Care post by @ts-witchy-archive
Witchy Quick Tip - Mini simmer pot by me
Celebrating the New Year by @thevirginwitch
Please feel free to add any in either a reblog or comment! <:
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Enjoy my posts? Consider leaving me a tip on my ko-fi!~
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schizodiaries · 1 month
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things i have witnessed non-schizospecs do or say that peeve me
Misuse or appropriation of psychological terms (psychotic, delusional)
“You don’t look schizophrenic, you look normal”
The belief that schizophrenics must live with little to no autonomy due to the perceived nature of the disorder
“I’d rather kill myself than live with this illness”
The idea that we have to be medicated in order to be functioning members of society
Encouraging delusions, or conversely, outright denying them in a way that causes us distress
Confusing schizophrenia with DID
“Did you take your meds” (said condescendingly in response to an odd behavior, not as a reminder)
calling any writing that is bizarre or goes against the grain “schizoposting”
Watching those dramatized schizophrenia simulation videos and thinking wow this is so cool and fun
implying that schizophrenia is just a spiritual awakening (there’s some nuance to this, i might elaborate in another post)
Talking about us in a dehumanizing way (“i want to find a schizophrenic person and study them in a lab”)
Just straight up abusing people who are having a psychotic episode (not so much a peeve as it is something that legit angers me but yeah)
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pinkchrissysposts · 29 days
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°•*TIPS AND ADVICE FOR LOA AND VOID*•°
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Guys i have come to decide that my time have come to an end in this amazing app tumblr I feel honoured to be a part of this beautiful community but before I go I would like to give some tips to everyone who.are still in their void/manifestation/shifting journey.
So as we know this is your journey to seize your power no one is gonna be there to help you except yourself. If you have been in this journey for a long time the only thing you are lacking is trust with yourself. Start building trust with yourself,it will become easier to persist. Consistency and persistence is needed of course but also trust within yourself.
I was also someone who struggled alot as a beginner for years but I slowly learned different things that are key to manifest/enter void/shift. Now don't ask what is the key because it has been mentioned in almost every loa post you read.
Follow your own style of manifesting,if you feel frustrated over methods then choose one which resonates with you,what matters is you feeling satisfied at the end.
Now this is for my a+ p girlies, I know I said it multiple times but don't affirm to get in 3D,affirm to make it your dominant thought,your goal should be making the affirmation your dominant thought that's it. It becomes thousand times easier because you also start to detach from the old story,your attention will be more on believing in that affirmation rather then seeing it in the 3D. Like this😤🤌
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When we hear about horror stories,we don't see the ghost but we still believe it exist right? We start reaffirming unconscious like there is ghost in the kitchen stuff like that. (That was one shitty example ☠️💀)
I get a LOTS of ask about robotic affirming and saturation,guys it's simple they both quite similar. Well in robotic affirming you just have to chant it without really focusing on it as it saturate you and it's mostly helps with mental diet.
But during saturation try to be more focus on the affirmation,it like focus affirming.
Moving on to void,I will really recommend using the distraction method or zone out method they both are same nothing different. Also just read the masterlist from my old account @graychrissy it had mostly void post with my documented void journey. Also read rotten's shifting guide then use the gateway tape it is available in spotify too,it can be instant to reach the focus 10,but some may need practice but it's easy nothing overcomplicated just a hemi sync (Turing off left side of the brain).
Top method I recommend is affirming,SATS,FOCUS 10,DISTRACTION METHOD, LUCID DREAMING and THE BASIC WAY
NEVER BE AFRAID OF YOUR EMOTIONS,seriously it's something everyone dm me about it's really not important,your emotions are also 3D,it won't mess up your manifestation so just calm down.
Also since the link in master list aren't working I will make a new one,I will be changing the whole lay out of my blog then you guys can use it. Goodbye~~~~~~~;)
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roseykat · 5 months
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TITLE: Play Right
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SUMMARY: The aftermath of the events that occurred at Hyunjin's apartment begins to unravel and sprout into things that are unsuspecting of Hyunjin and Jisung. While Jisung is under the disturbance of a text message he sent to Chan from your phone, he decides to turn to his friends to spill the beans.
TAGS: porn with plot, solo male masturbation, ruined orgasm, swearing, handjobs, soft moments, depictions of sexual intercourse, kissing, cum eating, orgasms, mainly m x m themes, alcohol is consumed (but nobody is drunk)
WARNING: minors DNI with this post or my blog. I create NSWF SKZ related content and I know I won’t be able to regulate/monitor every single potential interaction with those posts so please do not engage with my work or page whatsoever.
PART 1 + PART 2 - MASTERLIST
🏷️LIST: @chillichillicrabcrab23 @broken-glowsticks @ihatemen55 @boi-bi-ahaha @galamxy @weareapackofstrays @anglerfishiey @elizalabs3 @fr34k4c1dr41n @stayconnecteed @imnotjjini0325 @twinklix @meilix @livsposts @dawn-iscozy @princejisung @groovygroovyhyunjin @valibals @oiikaro @/itsthatbri @leftkittenface @/20minsat180degrees (if you want to be removed from the taglist going forward with this series, lmk!)
A/N: listened to Cigarettes out the window by TV Girl when I wrote most of this.
DISCLAIMER: before you read, this is a series so things are building up. There is a plot, so whilst this isn’t reader x member heavy based as the rest of the parts so far, that doesn’t mean to say that it won’t be in the future. Reader and Chan will get their time, don't worry, just want things to develop. This piece is more Jisung and Hyunjin focused iykwim x 
-
“The weather forecast for the upcoming week is predicted to be hotter than usual-“
“Ngh- fuck, right there...”
“-with temperatures expected to rise above thirty degrees. Weather Watch is also alerting citizens-“
“S-So good, baby…Y/N…”
“-in the city to prepare for the possibility of yet another monsoon-“
“Gonna…cum, gonna cum so hard for you…just like that…”
“-other regions of the outer city should also expect showers and hot temperatures-“ 
“Fuck’s sake!” 
With an angry groan and grumble, Hyunjin’s right hand stills over his slick, hard cock. His other hand yanks a pillow from his side and pelts it straight at his door to slam it right shut. Pathetic white strings of cum shot from his dark pink tip and land on his abdomen, some as far as his shirt that he had pulled up to his chest to avoid staining it. 
It’s been impossible for him to jerk off while the six o’clock weather is playing in the background from his lounge. The talk of monsoons and hot weather threatens the disappearance of the mental images he has of you in his brain, used as vital motivation to get himself off - a recurring activity that has been happening for the past two weeks. 
Summer doesn’t make it any better either. His body is sticky, sweat beading over his forehead from the disgusting, muggy heat that rivals the air con blowing throughout his apartment. Then the rain that lashes harshly at his windows is enough to drown out his own moans. It was a useless feat, just as useless as his own ruined orgasm that now put him in a bad mood. He had to satisfy his needs somehow. 
Instead of turning to porn, Hyunjin had something even better; you. The vivid images of his cock plunging fluidly into your wet pussy. The erotic sounds he extracted out of you with each thrust, that is when you weren’t choking on Jisung’s dick. He just wishes he could’ve seen your face when he made you cum.
Hyunjin sighs and presses his head back into the pillow. Before he gets to think about jumping in the shower, his phone rings from the nightstand. He picks up the device to see a very flattering drunk photo of Changbin appear on his screen. 
Hyunjin answers, “hey.” 
“Hyunjin, what are you doing right now?” Changbin asks.
“Watching the news,” he sniffs, he might as well have been watching the news.
“Boring. Did you not see the group chat messages?” 
“No, not yet. Why is something wrong?” 
“No, nothings wrong. Minho booked a table for hot pot and barbecue tonight. Figured you weren’t doing anything important so we’re all meeting up in half an hour,” Changbin explains. 
Barbecue and hot pot sounded nice. Surely it’ll be a method to dry out Hyunjin’s damp mood a little bit. That and a cold shower to freshen up. 
“Okay, yeah sounds good. Can you text me the details then?” 
As Hyunjin hung up and decided to start getting ready, it dawned on him that he hadn’t seen his friends in a couple of weeks, with a strong reference to you and Jisung. You had both been active in the group chat so he didn’t necessarily feel awkward about seeing the guy he had a threesome with. As for you, he really doesn’t know. 
You’re sweeter and easy to be around. Something about that just turns the entire situation on its head. Not that Jisung isn’t sweet or easy to be around in Hyunjin’s opinion, with you it’s different. Although, as he’s been mulling over the past couple of weeks, he’s discovered a few things about himself and Jisung. 
Dressing according to the weather, Hyunjin takes his umbrella with him on his way out in the hopes the rain won’t continue when he leaves the restaurant later on. After receiving the address from Changbin, thankfully just one subway stop away, Hyunjin heads off into the downfall and arrives fifteen minutes later. 
He was wrong to assume that he wasn’t going to feel awkward around Jisung, and now as he spots him at the table, engaging in a riveting conversation with Jeongin, all he feels is awkwardness. He waves out to him from down the way, ushering him to come over, lulling Hyunjin out of his own mind for a minute. 
“Hyunjin!” Jeongin called out cheerily, patting a spot beside him to come and sit. 
“Already started drinking Innie?” Hyunjin slings his arm around his younger friend's shoulder. 
“I couldn’t wait, sorry,” he responds and pours Hyunjin a shot of his soju. “Long day.” 
“Did you eat before?” 
“Not since lunch,” he replies. 
Hyunjin shakes his head and warns, “Innie, you know it’s bad to drink on an empty stomach, right?” 
Jeongin shrugs, “like I said, long day.” 
Hyunjin picks up his shot glass, downing it in one go before setting the glass back down on the surface again. As he does, his eyes meet Jisung’s who stares intently at him from across the table. He shoots a cheeky wink at Hyunjin, forcing a deep red blush to emerge through his cheeks.
Hyunjin knew what that meant. 
Suddenly his mind races back to that night at his apartment; making out with Jisung, remembering suddenly the thought of what sort of tricks that mouth of his possesses, watching you suck him dry. He wasn’t going to be forgetting it any time soon, not when it fuels his jack off sessions at home. 
After the few lingering moments where the pair were still locking eyes, more of their friends started to show up. Seungmin was accompanied by his new girlfriend, glued to his hip who greeted everyone shyly. Hyunjin hadn’t actually properly met her, let alone talked to her yet, but she seemed nice. Once they had taken a seat on their cushions, Changbin rolled in with Felix and Minho in tow who was stuffing his keys into the pocket of his pants. 
“You guys are here early,” he says with surprise. 
“You were the one who organised it,” Jisung pointed out. 
“That I did,” Minho nods, sitting down with everyone else. 
Felix groans as he flops next to Changbin, “I’m hungry, it's not even funny.”
As everyone settled down, trays of fresh veggies, assortments of meat, and other items were brought to their table for them to cook. Minho decided to get started on grilling while Seungmin opted to bring the hot pot on the table to a boil. The smell of the food made Hyunjin almost forget why he was slightly nervous about going out in the first place.
He got back to talking with Jeongin, asking him how work has been treating him, what he’s been up to since they last saw each other, and even planned a time to hang out in the future. 
“What about you, Jisung?” Jeongin asks with a mouthful of bossam. “Haven’t seen you in ages. Been up to anything interesting these days?” 
Jisung finishes slurping up some of the rice noodles Felix had cooked for him from the hot pot, “here and there. Mainly just working now.”
“Ah,” Jeongin nods in understanding. “You always work so much. No wonder why it’s hard for you to hang out with us sometimes.” 
That’s when it hits Jisung, causing him to pause and realise that something isn’t right. He can’t believe it’s taken him this long to realise it when it’s right there in plain sight.
“Where is Y/N and Chan?” He questions.
“Mm! Gonna…gonna cum all over your cock, wanna cum for you so bad,” you strain out. “Makes me feel so fucking good.”
Chan looks up at you, a deranged and desperate expression paints his face as you ride his dick, “don’t stop riding me then. Need to see that pretty pussy cum all over me.” 
Minho flips over pieces of meat on the grill, “Chan is out of the city with his family at the moment. They flew in a few days ago.” 
“You’re creaming so much around me baby,” Chan growls, nails digging painfully into the skin over your hips. “This pussy is all mine.” 
“And Y/N’s still at work,” Minho continues, plating some of the veggies he had been charring on the side too.
Moans erupt from your chest, projecting out into Chan’s lounge, “C-Channie, so good, make me cum, please-“
Jisung nods. It’s not suspicious at all to him that neither of you are here. The two people to an unwanted jigsaw puzzle that he had been piecing together just so happened to be ‘missing.’ Of course, none of the other guys truly knew why. At least he doesn’t think. 
Maybe you two really are in separate locations - not that he believes it. The one thing he knows for absolute sure to be the cold, hard truth, is that you and Chan are most definitely seeing each other casually - fucking behind everyone’s backs. Then again, so did he and Hyunjin in some sense.
Nonetheless, for the past couple of weeks, Jisung was storing that message he received on your phone from Chan in the back of his mind. It affirms a glimmer of a suspicion that Jisung held about Chan previously; that he was seeing someone. 
“Well, that just confirms everything then,” Jisung mutters under his breath, concluding his answer there and then in his mind. 
“Confirms what?” Minho questions, his hawk grade hearing picking up on his undertone. 
“Nothing, just a theory that I have,” he says smartly. “I was just thinking about it and...” 
“And what?” Minho presses.
“And whether I should be sharing it or not,” he replies, unsure of his own answer. 
“Well you have to now since you brought it up,” Felix exclaims. 
“It’s nothing,” Jisung brushes it off, making everyone at the table wonder what the hell he’s on about. 
“Nah, it has to be something,” Seungmin shakes his head and begins wondering what it is. “If it wasn’t important, he’d just say it. But he’s not.”
Is it even Jisung’s place to tell everyone? No. Should he still do it? No. But that’s what friends do. They talk and speculate about who they think are the perfect matches in the group or who out of everyone would marry if they had no other option. Topics as such.
In this case, it’s whether you and Chan are sleeping together or not, which Jisung already has the answer to. Whether he decides to tell the truth would just be speculation to the others since they never saw what Jisung did. They can decide to believe it or not.
However, does he trust his friends with the truth and to not say anything? Without a shadow of a doubt. So with that sliver of comfort in his mind that makes him think he’s not doing the wrong thing, Jisung chooses to divulge. 
“Y/N and Chan are fucking.”
Everyone’s heads at the table fixes onto Jisung. Not a single mouth moved out of surprise as the silence threads its way around. It makes him feel terribly awkward.
This is news to everyone, particularly to the person sitting opposite him; Hyunjin. Someone who, upon hearing what just came out of Jisung’s mouth, didn’t believe it for a second - did not want to believe it.
“You’re lying,” Seungmin accuses immediately from the other end of the table. 
“That’s your theory?” Changbin questions. “That Chan and Y/N are together?”
“Not together, together,” Jisung makes haste to correct him. “I just have reason to believe that they’re seeing each other casually is all.”
“I don’t believe you,” Seungmin responds, letting his strong opinion be known. “What is that reason anyway?”
“I swear on everyone I know, I saw a text message proving it on her phone,” Jisung mentions before his blood starts running cold. He almost gave away more than he should’ve.
Without context of the night in question, none of them know. Not even Hyunjin, who was a third party to it all, didn’t exactly know. He can only guess if what Jisung is referring to is the dirty text message that was sent off of your phone to Chan during the game of truth or dad. Then again, it’s not a thought that he even remotely considers when his mind has been stuck on the fact that you and Chan are potentially hooking up. 
“What the hell are you going through her phone for?” Felix asks defensively. 
“Yeah, that’s not okay,” Jeongin adds. 
“N-No! I wasn’t going through her phone, I just…saw them, by accident,” he responds out of desperation. 
He doesn’t want to disclose that night to his friends. Sure they’re all mates and share everything with each other, but that’s just Jisung. Hyunjin keeps aspects of his life relatively private and Jisung is sure that you wouldn’t appreciate him going around telling everyone what happened. But at that thought, he starts second guessing himself and what he just did. If he thinks you wouldn’t be okay with him sharing information about that night, how is it any different from him saying the same thing about you and Chan? 
It doesn’t take long for Jisung to feel regret and guilt for ever bringing it up. 
“Even if they are, who cares? Good for them, and if they start going out - even better. Y/N’s a massive upgrade from that chick he was seeing before,” Minho explains. 
“That’s probably why they’re messing around,” Felix theorises. 
“I still don’t reckon they are,” Seungmin puts in his opinion again. 
“Why?” Felix asks. 
“I just don’t see it,” he shrugs. “Chan seems like the type of person who wouldn’t sleep around because he only wants to be with someone that he really, really likes.” 
Those words do not sit well with Hyunjin. 
“And Chan told you that himself, did he?” Minho snickers. “If that’s your reasoning, then it sounds like they’re already going out.” 
Hyunjin and Jisung’s eyes immediately lock onto each other in horror. 
“I don’t know if you heard the word ‘seems’ in my sentence, implying that I’m only guessing but okay,” Seungmin bites back, earning him a finger flick to his arm by Jeongin for talking back like that to their older friend. 
“Ten bucks that they are,” Minho says on a different topic. “Ten bucks that they aren’t,” Seungmin counters. 
“A-Are you saying that none of you believe me?” Jisung whines. 
“We’re saying that we don’t have enough evidence – any of us, not just you since you bought up the topic,” Minho replies. 
“What about tonight? Neither of them are here, where do you think they might be?” Jisung attempts to raise a good point, but Changbin spots the obvious loopholes. 
“We already told you. Chan isn’t even in the city since he’s spending time with his family, and Y/N’s still at work,” he answers. “And we know that because Chan messaged the group chat to tell us that he wasn’t going to be coming to dinner and we know Y/N doesn’t finish until six thirty.”
“They could be lying,” Jeongin conspires. 
“That’s only for tonight though. I know he’s been acting shady lately so I reckon he is,” Felix announces. 
“Hyunjin?” Changbin pokes him in the arm, trying to prod an answer out of him. 
He responds quietly but honestly, “I-I don’t think they are.” 
“That settles it then,” Minho begins instigating once more. “Two of you bet that they aren’t and the rest of us bet that they are.”
“We are not betting on our friends right now,” Jisung tries to calm the masses. 
“Mm! How about losers have to pay for a day of food when we go to Jeju?” Jeongin suggests. 
The majority of the table begins to erupt in agreement, making it impossible for Jisung to rewrite something he just initiated. Everyone immediately starts talking details about what food they would request if they won the bet, then would eventually return to the topic of you and Chan. 
Hyunjin didn’t really want to hear another word of it. Instead, he pours himself another shot of Jeongin’s soju in the hopes his thoughts about the situation start to melt. Until he gets to that stage, it’s easy for him to wallow in his feelings. A selfish part of him wants whatever connection there is between you and Chan to falter to the point of no return. Then the other half scolds his mind for wishing such a misfortune on his friend.
But nobody knew. Nobody knew that Hyunjin had feelings for you nor did he want anyone to know. He’d rather die than tell someone he likes them for fear that they won’t like him the way he does. It’s almost like he’s saving himself from the pain and hopes that it’ll pass. However, there was also ‘instigator number two’ sitting across from him who had been making regular appearances in his brain since that night. Hyunjin doesn’t know what it means, if it even means anything for that matter.
So by the end of the dinner, everyone had their bets placed. 
The whole lot of them lingered outside the restaurant after some filling meals as some of the others waited for their rides back home. All aside from Felix and Jeongin who decided to go bar hopping for more drinks. Changbin and Seungmin were laughing away at something they were discussing while Minho was chatting to his friend's new girlfriend. Hyunjin on the other hand stood away from them, up against the wall of the building as he scrolls aimlessly on his phone. 
“Hey,” says Jisung, emerging from the restaurant. 
Hyunjin turns to his friend, realising it’s the first time they’ve directly spoken to each other in a while, “hi.” 
“You know it feels like I haven’t seen you since-“
“That’s because you haven’t, Jisung,” he cuts him off sharply, having already foreseen what Jisung was about to say after the word ‘since.’ 
He smiles sheepishly, “right. So, what are your plans now?”
Hyunjin doesn’t think and shrugs, “gonna go home, paint, watch TV or something.”
“Cool. I’m coming with you.” 
Hyunjin didn’t have any say in the matter. Jisung was going to follow him home like his own shadow whether he liked it or not. It dismissed Hyunjin from grovelling in his feelings and mind after hearing the situation between you and Chan. One half of his heart yearned to cry while the other wanted to punch Chan in the ribs. He doesn’t know. He’s conflicted. But they are aspects that remain undetected to Jisung as they sat next to each other quietly on the subway back to his home. 
The pair walked under Hyunjin’s umbrella for a few hundred metres until they were under the shelter of the apartment complex. He doesn’t mind accommodating people at his place since he spends the majority of his time in voluntary solitude. It allows him to fully recuperate from social settings in order to go out again. This time, with less company, it’s still equally welcoming. So after Hyunjin unlocks his front door for both of them enter, take off their shoes, and store them neatly. 
“Ah~” Jisung sighs with relief, stretching out his arms and stands right underneath a device mounted to the top of the wall. “Air con!” 
“Don’t you have one? I thought you did,” Hyunjin mistakenly thought. 
“It broke,” he mumbles, revelling in the cold artificial breeze. “Been waiting three weeks for it to be fixed.” 
Hyunjin doesn’t say anything after that. He lets Jisung do whatever he wants while he heads into his room to change from his clothes to a black tank top and a pair of shorts. In his spare room that he’s been slowly transitioning to an art space, he goes in and collects some of his unfinished art, paints, and brushes. After, he returns to the lounge, he sets everything down on the coffee table and pulls up some floor cushions for him and Jisung to sit on. 
“Oh, tangerines,” he suddenly remembers as his eyes clock onto the silver fruit bowl on his kitchen counter while Jisung takes his jacket off and hangs it up. 
“Tangerines? In summer?” Jisung asks as he goes to sit down. 
Hyunjin places the bowl of the fruit between him and his friend as he lowers down too, “why not? I got them fresh from the market the other day.”
“I can only eat them in the winter.”
“Alright then,” Hyunjin shrugs and starts peeling one for himself as Jisung reaches for the remote and turns on the TV. 
For a while, they sit together. Hyunjin switches between picking up his paintbrush and pieces of fruit whereas Jisung’s eyes are glued to some hot drama playing across the screen. It’s nice to just be in the same room with someone and to not have a full on conversation that ends up being draining on their social batteries. Both of them are the perfect introverts for thriving in those types of environments. A peaceful comfort.
Time seems to pass in their space as Jisung nears the end of the episode and Hyunjin is rounding off one area of his painting. By that time, Hyunjin had eaten five tangerines then opted to bring some more. He offered to Jisung if he wanted something else to eat or drink, but the man was so hooked on this drama that he didn't even hear Hyunjin ask.
He found it…slightly…endearing. Just a bit. But then he went back to his work and all was forgotten until Jisung finally started speaking again.
“Hyunjin,” he starts in a low voice, still staring at the screen. 
“Hmm?” 
“Are we gonna talk about the other night?” Jisung mentions.
His hand freezes over his canvas, a small dollop of paint drips from the end of his brush and onto his work. Hyunjin wasn’t exactly expecting to hear that question, yet at the same time, he should’ve seen it coming. 
“W-What about it?” He responds awkwardly. 
Jisung leans back, both of his hands propping him up from behind as he looks up to the ceiling, “the fact that we kissed, well… made out mainly.” 
“Yeah, that’s right,” he said, unsure of what to actually ask him here. “Do you…regret it?”
“No! No way!” Jisung exclaims rather quickly before he calms down. “No, I don’t. In fact…it was…actually really good.” 
In the back of Hyunjin’s mind, he can almost predict what’s about to happen. Jisung wouldn’t have brought up the subject unless it was really affecting him - unless he was dying to get it off his chest. Otherwise he would’ve let it simmer down, but taking into account that it had been two weeks and he wants to unpack everything, there was clearly something irking him in a way that only Hyunjin seems to understand. 
“You looked…good that night,” he adds then corrects himself. “You do look good.” 
Hyunjin peers up from his work. What’s he supposed to say to that? Is he supposed to divulge the fact that he thinks the same of Jisung? He doesn’t even know entirely what he feels, having just accepted that he slept with his two friends and sort of went on with life.
“What did you follow me back to my apartment for?” Hyunjin gets straight to the point. 
His friend sits back up and looks him dead in the eye, “let’s just say I didn’t follow you back to eat some fruit and watch TV.”
“Then what?” Hyunjin urges impatiently even though his and Jisung’s faces slowly draw towards each other.
Jisung’s eyes drop down to Hyunjin’s lips, and says in a quiet voice, “because I wanted to kiss you again.” 
Hyunjin doesn’t know when, but it happened. One second he had his gaze set on Jisung’s soft expression and the next his eyes were closed, allowing his brain to focus on what’s physically happening. Their lips meet for the second time since the first, this time a little slower and tender.
As the TV plays in the background, all the two of them can hear is the sound of their mouths moving - breaking apart for a couple of moments even though their noses still touch, tilting their heads in different directions to see what’s the better angle. 
The sweet, citrine aftertaste of tangerine lingers in Hyunjin’s mouth, a pleasure to savour when Jisung is able to explore it with his tongue. In Hyunjin’s left hand, the paintbrush slips from his grip, its tip smearing more paint onto his work. But there is a great distance between him and being bothered about it. He worries more about the reaction, that after minutes of kissing, stirs in his pants when Jisung’s hand finds its way onto his lap, barely caressing his thigh. His cock has started filling out. 
He doesn’t notice it until slowly yet surely, Jisung’s hand inches closer to the ever growing, obvious bulge in his friend's shorts. The second he makes contact with Hyunjin’s clothed dick, a moan shoots through from his mouth and into Jisung’s. He pulls away for a second, staring at his lips.  
“You really are a good kisser,” Jisung breathes. 
“Jisung…” Hyunjin struggles, his forehead comes to rest against Jisung’s as he stares down at his hand. It palms slowly, agonisingly slow. 
“You’re so hard for-“
He cups Jisung’s mouth before he can complete the rest of his sentence, “shut up, I know,” he cuts him off bitterly. 
A chuckle reverberates through his hand as Jisung takes it away but decides to continue holding it, “let me help you then.” 
It’s not difficult for him to read the room. He knows what Hyunjin wants and how obvious it is that he needs it. His cock silently screams for touch, to be relieved. So at the perfect moment, Jisung reaches into Hyunjin’s shorts and past his boxes.
A quiet hiss issues from his mouth when the entire length of his dick is free from restriction. His cock is beautiful. Jisung never managed to get a good look at it since it was either in your mouth or drilling your pussy from behind.
Jisung licks his way into Hyunjin’s mouth, his tongue dancing across his plush bottom lip before he breaks away for a moment. Excitement surges through him now that he finally gets to feel what he’s been wanting to since that night two weeks ago. He stares down at Hyunjin’s cock, pre-cum beads at the tip, some had already leaked down his length.
For Jisung to have him so aroused, so desperate for touch, proves the effect his friend has on him that he suspected was present. Hyunjin had an inkling of it when you all slept together, but nothing other than that. A pang of realisation maybe, that his friend was attractive and alluring in a sense, and it was obvious that Jisung felt the same. 
He takes a soft hold of the top of Hyunjin’s cock, the pad of his index finger swiping over his tip and pulling away. He watches the thick string of glimmering pre-cum connect him and Hyunjin, forcing a wave of embarrassment to come crushing over him. It wasn’t embarrassing to Jisung. It was hot. So fucking hot.
Seeing the impact of his own actions on Hyunjin’s body gave him a sense of power so to speak. It made him want to see more as he started tugging gently at his dick. He trusted that Hyunjin’s pre-cum would act almost as a lube, and sure enough with more strokes, his cock was sticky with it. Nothing but slick sounds and tiny, barely there whimpers from Hyunjin’s mouth fill his lounge, drowning out the next episode of the drama that was still playing. 
“Mm…it…mmm.” 
“Don’t be shy Hyunjinnie,” Jisung prompts him to become more vocal, to express what he’s feeling however he wants. “We’re friends, since when have you ever been quiet around me?” 
Hyunjin replies breathlessly, “friends…d-don’t get each other off.”
“Hey, you haven’t gotten me off yet,” Jisung reminds him. 
Yet. 
In his mind that starts to slip through his fingers like sand, Hyunjin was no longer able to tell if that was an empty possibility or a very real chance of it happening. For the time being, he chooses to focus on pleasure. The satisfaction of having something wrapped around his cock to relieve him, and the divine pressure that begins to store at the base of his cock from Jisung’s long strokes. 
“Feel good?” He asks. 
The question alone is enough to make Hyunjin lower his head and close his eyes, too shy to meet Jisung’s ardent gaze. Instead, he gives an affirming nod. 
“Good,” Jisung mumbles quietly, then finds Hyunjin’s lips once more with his own to kiss him.
God he can’t stop kissing him. 
The way they melt into each other is almost like they’ve done this a hundred times prior. Jisung tugs and strokes Hyunjin’s length so attentively, greedily drawing out every single reaction he can possibly get. The hushed moans that transmit from his mouth as Jisung’s tongue moves lazily to explore. Very abruptly however, Hyunjin breaks away from the kiss. 
“G-Gonna make me cum,” he swallows hard. 
Jisung’s eyes nearly roll into the back of his head just hearing that. To him, those words are not only a specific type of praise or reward, but it’s coupled with the way that Hyunjin sounds right in his ear. His tense, high pitched whimpers become more frequent and stressed as Jisung has been building him up to the height of his orgasm.
“Cum for me then,” Jisung whispers to him.
Suddenly, the air snags inside Hyunjin’s throat. His head drops and all the attention gravitates towards his cock, shivering as he starts to orgasm.
“Ngh - ‘sung…cumming,” he strains out, breathing deeply but staggered. 
Jisung catches his seed in the cupped palm of his hand as he manages to stroke the tip of his length at the same time. He looked so beautiful when his mind and body writhe under his touch. Hyunjin’s moans complete the satisfaction Jisung feels to have unravelled his best friend like that. To see ribbons of his white warm cum in hand makes him struggle against the unhinged part of his brain that needs to taste it for himself. He can’t help it when the base of his palm reaches his mouth-
But it doesn’t stop Hyunjin’s face from twisting and screwing into an expression of revolt. 
“Jisung,” he says with a tone of warning. 
He hastily tucks himself back into his clothes, springs up from the coffee table and heads to the kitchen to grab a paper towel. After soaking it a little bit in some warm water from under the tap, he returns to Jisung and cleans his hand. Hyunjin didn’t want to make a note of the fact that most of Jisung’s palm was covered in cum and when he returned, it was almost like it was never there. Still, he did him the decency of helping clean him up. 
“Maybe wash your hand too,” he suggests with a concerned look still clouding his face. 
“Don’t look so offended, Hyunjin,” Jisung chuckles airly. “You taste good.” 
“Shut up, please,” is all he can come back with, then looks up to not only see that cocky, arrogant grin of Jisung’s but to also notice that there’s still a trace of his cum smeared a little bit on his bottom lip. Hyunjin reaches towards his friend’s face, thumbing the excess away.  
“Don’t waste anything,” Jisung scolds him.  
“Alright,” he rolls his eyes, done with the mortifying humiliation and stands up again to return to the kitchen with the dirty paper towel to chuck it away. 
“Wait, come back! Kiss me one more time and I swear I’ll stop embarrassing you!” he calls out to him.
Hyunjin stops listening to Jisung and all the whiny complaints he propels from the coffee table. Instead, something else suddenly occupies his attention. The one thing that threatens to unbalance his mood once more. 
“Jisung,” Hyunjin says. “Is it true? About Y/N and Chan?”
“Huh?” He answers, “Oh, yeah. It is.” 
Hyunjin’s gaze falls to the floor. That answers that then. 
Jisung then continues, “I didn’t want to mention how I saw the message though. If I did, it might’ve put you and Y/N in the spotlight about that night we had when you probably didn’t want to. Plus, they’re like jackals. They would’ve torn you to shreds just to get an answer.” 
Hyunjin nods, appreciative of his friend's move, “thanks. But should you have told them about Y/N and Chan anyway?”
Jisung did realise at one stage that he told their friends about you and Chan, but didn’t apply that same energy towards bringing up himself, you, and Hyunjin. There wasn’t that much of a difference when he looks at it now since he’s also messed around with you both, similar to the way Chan is currently messing around with you.
But Jisung knows for a fact that he didn’t bring it up because he wanted to save his own skin or divert any suspicion or attention away from himself. It was just so scandalous to find out that the two least suspecting people on his radar of who in the group would be fucking, is you and Chan. 
“They said they weren’t going to say anything,” Jisung responds. “I trust them that much, not that I should be making a big deal about it, but I want to go see Chan. I know that they’re not, but I want to make sure that they aren’t actually dating, otherwise-“
“We’d have to tell him,” says Hyunjin.
“Exactly,” Jisung agrees. “Again, I don’t think that’s the case. Chan said so himself that he’s done with dating and relationships, and I trust that wholeheartedly too.”
Hyunjin gives a nod and decides to hold out onto hope. Hope that you’re not seeing him and that it’s just something that turns out to be a stupid rumour. In the meantime, he needs to figure out his feelings. 
Too tired to make the commute back to his own place, Jisung ended up staying the night at Hyunjin’s. He could’ve well and truly slept on the couch but for what it was worth, he was invited to sleep in Hyunjin’s bed. It’s not like they’ve never slept next to each other. But for some reason, it means something a bit more. Something hazy that exists in a twilight zone that Hyunjin only hopes clears up so he can decipher what he feels towards Jisung. 
The thought floats around in his mind before he drifts off, sleeping comfortably, only to wake up the next morning tangled in each other’s arms.
Neither of them were bothered about it. 
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ewanmitchellcrumbs · 5 months
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Hallowed
Pairing: Michael Gavey (Saltburn) x f!reader Warnings: Toxic relationship dynamics, face sitting, smut. Word count: ~1.3k
Summary: Her Early Medieval Literature essay is due, and Michael has his own cruel way of ensuring she stays focused.
Author's note: Can be read as part two of this fic, but also works as a standalone. Day six of the Smuffmas prompts - "future and face sitting". No tag list. Follow @fics-by-ewanmitchellcrumbs and turn on post notifications.
She lounges on Michael’s bed, clad in only knickers and one of his t-shirts, a copy of the Canterbury Tales grasped lightly between her fingers. Her eyes move over the words of Chaucer, but take none of them in, how could they? His long fingers draw lazy circles on her ankle, her legs stretched out up to the pillows where he reclines, the duvet wrapped around his bare midriff while he reads from a textbook called the Book of Proof.
Life feels simpler since Michael has entered it, despite the turbulent beginnings. She has given up her friends, under his advice, and there is now far less pressure to conform. Her only focuses are her studies and pleasing him, the latter of the two she takes great pleasure in.
It is always on his terms; when they see each other, what they do, how they do it, and despite his obvious initial inexperience he is a fast learner. His ability to make her fall apart, to make her relinquish all control is something he does expertly. The slight fear she feels towards him only adds to the excitement; he could destroy her if he wanted to, but if she plays nicely then he won’t, and she is more than happy to play nicely when the rewards for doing so are as satisfying as they are.
She sighs, his fingers upon her flesh making her core throb with want, even from the simple gesture of absentmindedly touching her leg. She lets her book slip from her fingers, raising up on her elbow to look at him.
“Michael…” she whines.
He looks at her impassively, adjusting his glasses. “The first of your three essays is due soon, isn’t it?”
“Mmm,” she responds with a roll of her eyes, flopping back down and stretching her arms above her head. “Early Medieval Literature.”
His hand moves from her ankle, fingertips ghosting over the exposed skin between the hem of his t-shirt and the waistband of her underwear. “And what have you written?”
She shivers beneath his touch, squirming slightly. “Am I really here to study?”
“I’ve no interest in sleeping with a failing literature student,” he pulls his hand away and she immediately misses his warmth. “So tell me.”
She groans in frustration. “Oh, I don’t know. Probably something about irony in the Merchant’s Tale.”
His textbook thuds closed and she hears the heavy sound of him dropping it onto the bedside table. When she chances to glance up at him she sees he is sitting straighter in the bed, his gaze hardened as he looks at her. “Probably?! You mean you haven’t started it? Have you even thought about your thesis statement, your in-depth analysis or how you’re going to conclude your ideas, if you’ve even had any?”
“Oh, come on,” she says softly, sitting up and reaching for him. “There’s still time. Can’t we just–”
“No,” he cuts her off. “I’ve been spoiling you, and it’s made you stupid.”
“I’m not stupid!” She protests. “If I remember correctly, it was you who called my degree a ‘glorified book club’.”
“You still need to try,” he tells her, frowning.
“You don’t try,” she argues with a shrug,” and marks in your first year don’t count towards the final degree.”
“I don’t have to try, but I still get firsts in everything. Marks this year may not count towards the final degree you get, but they count towards you keeping your scholarship. Think about your future instead of being a fucking brat for once in your life.”
His words are a sharp sting to her already fragile ego, and she lowers her gaze, fighting the sudden urge to cry.
“I’m not touching you again until your essay’s handed in and I’ve seen what your mark is.”
Her head snaps up, eyes wide with disbelief as she looks at him, searching his features for any indication that he’s being unserious. She finds none; he really means it.
“And you’re not to touch yourself. I’ll know.”
The next two weeks are torturous for her. On the occasions that Michael does invite her to his room, there is no more casual half dressed lounging on his bed. Instead, he has a study space set up for her at his desk, and won’t allow her to speak or leave until she has at least a thousand words written. 
They meet up in the library during free periods so that he can read through what she’s written, and her skin burns hot with humiliation each time he screws up a page and throws it into the waste paper bin, calling her arguments “lazy” and “uninspired”.
It lights a fire of determination beneath her, but bubbling under the surface is also a heightened state of arousal, driven by the lack of intimacy, and the fact that she finds that she likes it when he is so authoritative over her.
By the time she has finished, she has produced an essay that both her and Michael are satisfied with; it discusses the use of irony in Chaucer’s poem, the Merchant's Tale. She has used a number of excerpts and lines from the poem for analysis, revealing the instances of irony in each, and from this has determined that the irony Chaucer used in the Merchant's Tale is controlled.
Her eyes light up when Professor Ware hands it back, and she sees the 85% that’s circled at the top of it.
A first.
She feels giddy with excitement as she knocks on Michael’s door that evening, brandishing the now dog-eared pages at him as he opens the door.
“A first, I got a first!” She squeals, watching as he takes the essay from her, his eyes moving slowly over the top page.
“Hmmm,” he settles it down on the desk, removing his glasses and placing them on top. “Take off your jeans and underwear.”
“Wha–what?” She stammers, her grin fading.
“You want your reward, don’t you?” He asks, moving to lay back on the bed.
She swallows thickly, excitement fluttering in her lower belly, as she quickly complies, ridding herself of the clothing that covers her lower half.
“Come here,” he commands softly.
She joins him on the bed, a gasp leaving her as he manhandles her until her knees are positioned either side of his head.
“My clever girl,” he whispers. His words could be mistaken for softness, were they not directly juxtaposed by the rapid darkening of his blue eyes, and the way his thumbs drag across the indentations between her thighs and pelvis. “I knew you could do it, you just needed a little…push.”
He drags his tongue from her opening all the way to her pearl, and her jaw goes slack, the wet sensation making her clench as she falls forward, hands clawing at the wall in front of her.
His grip on her thighs tightens and he tugs her flush against his face, the sloppy sounds of him devouring her are lewd combined with the wanton cries of pleasure that tumble from her lips.
She feels her mind go blank as he inserts his tongue inside of her, keeping it rigid as she begins to grind herself in a circular motion, keeping his nose pressed against where she needs it most, desperately chasing the release she’s needed the last couple of weeks.
His hum of appreciation reverberates through her core, and as he withdraws from her, plush lips wrapping around her sensitive bundle of nerves she feels herself fall apart as the growing ache intensifies, completely at his mercy as he laps at her, while white hot waves of pleasure wash over her.
She raises up when it becomes too much, jerking at how oversensitive she feels and gazes down at him through heavy lidded eyes, breathless.
He looks like an utterly different person without his glasses, almost kind, though she knows better. His chin is shiny with her slick as he smirks up at her.
“You’ve worked so hard,” he says quietly, though the edge of malevolence to his voice is unmistakable. “But don’t worry, you can give that pretty little mind of yours a rest while I fuck you stupid again.”
She is powerless to resist as he tugs her back to his face once more, beginning the exquisite torture all over again.
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chiriwritesstuff · 5 months
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The Girl in IT - 2. Off to the Races
A Boss! Joel Miller x IT Specialist F! Reader AU
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Previous Chapter │ The LIST │ Series Masterlist
Chapter Rating: E (18+, MDNI)
Chapter Preview: You hesitantly reach for the massive bouquet, looking at the beautiful mix of colors in awe. "Joel," you breathe, "They're beautiful." "The woman at the shop said that certain flowers can have meaning. She asked me about you." He points to the flowers in your hand. "Lilies, well, they mean infatuation. Chrysanthemums, for excitement." He points to the pink rose. "For sweetness and admiration." "and the carnations?" "For fascination and enchantment." "Joel.. you don't mean that, do you?" He chuckles. "Oh, I absolutely do, Sugar. Those flowers are just my way of expressing what I already know."
Chapter Warnings and Tags: Joel Miller is hungry and wants to EAT, Smut, One massive Tess sized-cockblock, Boss x Employee relationship, Time Jumping to and fro, Joel Miller is a silly flirt, Joel jumps right in, Explicit language, Did I mention smut?, Soft boy Joel Miller
Word Count: 3.6K
A/N: You GUYS. YOU GUYS (!!!!!)
Thank you so much for all of the love for the first chapter of my silly little series with my even sillier Old Man Joel and his Sugar. I am absolutely flabbergasted by all of the likes, reblogs, and comments from all of you, it really means a lot to me! Thank you, from the bottom of my heart. You have no idea how much it means to me.
I have the first few chapters written and planned out, and I hope to post at least a new chapter once a week. I can't make any promises as I go back to work next week, but I will try. I apologize in advance if I skip a week, it is not my intention to let you guys down.
I hope you all enjoy!
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Today. 
[Hey Sugar, are you in your office right now?]
Yes, did you need something, Mr. Miller?
[Yes, actually, I do. I'll come to you, don't leave!]
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A knock on the door startles you.
"Hey, Sugar?" Tommy Miller's voice rings out from the other side of the door. "Have you seen Joel? I know he said he had to ask you about something, but that was an hour ago-"
"Yeah?" you reply, almost in a whine, your head tipped back in pleasure as you try to muffle a scream. "Joel? No, haven't seen him around. No, not since this—"
There's a pause, and then Tommy's voice comes again, this time with a hint of amusement. "Still wrestling with his laptop, huh? The man can't even change his wallpaper without causing a crisis. I'll check his usual spots. If you see him, tell him Tess needs him in her office, pronto."
Just then, the muted sound of a cough under your desk catches your attention. You look down to find Joel, crouched beneath the desk with a sheepish grin on his face.
"Now, where were we?" he chuckles, his eyes meeting yours with a mischievous glint.
“Joel!” You smack him playfully as you roll your desk chair back. “Tess will have your head if you don’t show up soon!”
“But I’m starving, baby! Just let me have a little snack-“ he pulls your chair back to him as he situates himself under your desk, lifting your skirt as he smiles at the sight of your barely-there scrap of lace one would call underwear. “Shit baby, is this for me?” He lowers his head to your aching cunt, his arms wrapping around your thighs as he pulls you closer to his mouth. He rubs the tip of his nose along your slit, a satisfied smirk forming on his lips. He licks at your covered mound, the tip of his tongue adding just enough pressure for you to gasp out in pleasure. “I asked you a question, baby girl. Who did you wear these panties for?”
“You,” you say breathily, covering your mouth to muffle up your moans as he plants kisses along your thighs. “You, Mr. Miller. Only you.”
“Who owns this pretty pussy?”
"You do, Sir."
"Damn right, I do." Joel licks his lips as he pushes your panties aside, licking your clit. "Fuck, she's aching for me, isn't she?" He locks his eyes with yours, his mouth hovering over your pussy. "Can I?"
You nod, not trusting yourself to keep quiet.
Joel shakes his head, displeased with your answer. "No baby, use your words-" he growls, nipping at your thighs as you wince in pain.
"PLEASE Joel, keep going!" He smiles at your eagerness, licking and parting your folds with his tongue. He pins you against his face, tightening his hold on you as your body trembles.
"Fuck, you taste so fucking sweet-"
"JOEL!" Tess's voice reverberates through the hallway, the urgency evident in her heavy-footed approach, each step echoing past your office door. "Has anyone seen him?!"
Joel lets out an exasperated groan, his head dropping onto your lap as you suppress a giggle. "Duty calls, Mr. Miller. Can't keep your boss waiting, can you?"
"I am the boss, just so you're clear on that."
"Sure, Joel, keep telling yourself that."
Joel crawls out from under your desk with a grunt, stumbling onto the carpet with a thud. "I'm definitely too old for this shit," he mutters, trying to regain his footing.
"It's your list, Mr. Miller. You make the rules, I just help you execute it," you quip, smirking as you extend a hand to help him up.  
He takes your hand, a mischievous glint in his eyes. He yanks you towards him, and you end up falling into his lap. "Right where I want you," he smirks, capturing your lips in a kiss.  
You smile as he starts to kiss along your jaw. "You are insatiable."
"Only for you, Sugar."
"JOEL, FOR FUCKS SAKE!" Tess bellows from across the building.
"You better go before she breaks down all the doors," you wince as you give him a small frown. "Again."
Joel sighs, pressing one last kiss on your forehead. "Fine, but once I'm done with Ms. Pain in my ass-"
"You're going to go back to work like a good boy?" you reply sweetly, straightening out your skirt as Joel heads towards the door. He gives you one last glance as he turns the doorknob, a hungry look on his face.
"This isn't over, baby girl. When I come back, I expect to eat."
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Ten years earlier. 
"Joel! Tommy! Thank you so much for coming! Please, come in, come in!"
Joel straightens up and smooths out his flannel, nervously fiddling with his tool belt slung taut on his hips. He gives a curt nod to the client, turning to his side expecting to find Tommy next to him. His eyes narrow at the empty space. "Tommy, you fuck," he hissed under his breath at his brother, who was casually smoking a cigarette off to the side of the client's perfectly manicured lawn. "Put that out and stop fucking around, we're getting paid for this shit!"
Tommy takes a long drag, exhaling a long plume of smoke before flicking the cigarette onto the street. "This is small-time shit, Joel. We should be playing with the big dogs, not wasting our time doing residential work. How much was the bid?"
"20."
"Bullshit. This is no more than 5, and you know it. It's just a fucking scorched roof, and at only one side, it's not even a complete replacement."
Joel scoffs at his brother, his eyes narrowing in irritation. "Have you seen the size of this fucking house? We're in fucking Westlake Hills, for fucks sake. Think of the potential! Maybe we can convince them to replace the entire roof, replace their windows... fuck, I just want to make a good impression!"
"Oh, so is that why you're dressed like a fucking moron? Cowboy boots? Really? You're 46, not 26." he appraises him as he makes his way towards the front of the house. "Don't tuck in your shirt, man. I can see your fucking beer belly from here!" Tommy looks towards the front door, the client having already retreated into the home. He cocks his head and whispers to his older brother. "Is the wife hot? Shit. Maybe I should have run a comb through my hair-"
"They want this project done in a month." 
Tommy whips his head towards Joel. "Are you fucking KIDDING ME? JOEL-"
"Boys!" The client's voice cuts through the building tension between the brothers, a sweet conspiratory smile on her face. "Are you coming?" She looks out into the distance beyond the brothers, a big smile blooming across her face. "Oh, Sugar! come and meet the boys who are fixing up the roof, you know, the side where your antenna thing exploded?" She beckons to the figure who was suddenly behind them, motioning her to join their conversation.  
She's a sweet little thing, Joel muses, all nerves and jitters like a baby calf attempting to walk for the first time. So fucking cute, he thinks to himself. You were dressed for the brutality of the Austin summer, with barely there cut-off shorts and a tiny white baby tee, the sweat forming on your skin wetting the thin fabric, and if Joel looked hard enough, he swears he saw the outline of your nip-"
"Baby," the client rings out, forcing Joel to look away in embarrassment, a blush forming on his neck all the way up to his face. "You remember Joel Miller, the contractor we ran into in the mall?"
"Yeah. I remember. Hi, Mr. Miller."
You cringed as you approached, your head downcast as you awkwardly reached your overbearing mother. "Tommy, come and meet my daughter, we call her Sugar, because she's so sweet! She's back home from UT Dallas, she's working her way up to her master's in IT! We're all so proud of-"
"Mom," you whine, glaring at the ground as you shift around uncomfortably. "I don't think they care about what I'm doing at school."
"Don't be silly, Sugar," the mom chided with a dismissive wave. "These fine gentlemen surely appreciate a smart, capable woman, right, Joel? Tommy?"
Joel, momentarily caught off guard by the unexpected introduction, nodded with a friendly smile. "Absolutely, ma'am. Education is valuable, and we're glad to have such esteemed company. It's hard enough to go through earning your bachelor's, I'm sure it's hell trying to navigate trying to get your masters!" Joel clears his throat as he gives her a nervous smile. "You look great, by the way. You look well rested, I reckon this break is doing you some good."
Tommy, giving Joel an amused look, chimed in. "Smart is the new sexy, Sugar. Nothing to be shy about. I agree," Tommy winks at his brother as his smile widens at Joel's nervous shuffling. "Joel sure likes them smart and capable, alright."
You blushed, still uncomfortable with the attention. "Well, uh, nice to meet you, Tommy, and it's nice to see you again, Joel," You mumbled, avoiding eye contact.
"Pleasure to see you again too, Sugar," Joel replies.  
Tommy chokes on nothing as he witnesses his brother taking the girl's hand in his, placing a soft kiss on it. 
"Oh, brother of mine," he whispered to himself, shaking his head at seeing how smitten his brother was for you. "For fucks sake, what the hell am I going to do with you?"
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Six Months and One Week ago.
"Sugar? Is that you?"
You turn towards the deep voice, smiling at the body that it's coming from. "Mr. Miller, it's nice to see you again. Thank you so much for this opportunity-"
"I heard from your mother that you got that Masters, I'm proud of you, girlie."
"Oh," you stammer, "It was nothing-"
"Don't do that," Joel says with a frown, shaking his head in disappointment.  
"Do what?" you ask, matching his frown as he steps towards you. You can't help but gasp at his sudden boldness. You keep your hands glued to your sides, willing yourself to not reach out to his chest. You forgot just how much he affected you, even if it's been a decade since you've seen him last. He's older, sure, with strands of grey peppered throughout his curly hair... but he's different too, the remnants of his boyish charm morphing into something harder, more rugged, more broad. You tremble under his scrutiny. You force yourself to meet his heavy gaze. "Do what?" you repeat out louder, your voice getting caught in your throat as you push an errant strand of hair away from your face. 
"You shouldn't downplay yourself like that. Earning something like your Master's is a big deal, don't sell yourself short like that, okay?"
You grant him a small smile. "Okay."
Joel, satisfied with your answer, nods. "Want to grab a cup of coffee with me?"
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Six Months Ago.
"Are you sure she's good? Joel! Are you fucking listening?" Tess snaps, her fingers snapping for emphasis as Joel jolts in surprise. "It says here that she's been working at the Geek Squad for the last eight years; that's hardly enough experience to run an entire department—"
"She has her masters in Management Information Systems from UT Dallas, and the person who vouched for her-"
"Yeah, her mother? If she's as old as you, I highly doubt she can grasp what we need... what are we doing Joel? Are we just letting little old rich ladies headhunt for us now? I don't need no privileged priss in some ball gown running IT, we're a multi-million dollar company-"
"... who didn't even have a decent IT department in the first place, and now that Gloria is retiring, shit, Tess-" Joel runs his hands through his hair as he groans in frustration. "... she's better than everyone else we've interviewed, hell- at least we know that she's a lifer, being that she's worked for minimum wage at Best Buy for almost a decade! We have a chance to bring someone in to help out with the draftsmen, shit, she's even proficient in Revit! Tess, level with me: with her knowing that 3D modeling shit - we need her! More than she needs us!"
"So it's not that you want to fuck her, then?" Tess rolls her eyes as she throws your resume on his desk. "Yeah, Tommy mentioned your little high school crush on her, it's funny, you conveniently forgot to mention that-"
"Tess, don't."
"So if we decide to hire her, I won't catch you fucking her in your office? Her office? The conference room, the supply closet..." She glares at him, tipping her head back as she pinches the bridge of her nose in annoyance.  
"For fucks sake Tess, are we hiring her or not?"
Tess rises from her seat, running her hands down her slacks to straighten them, and gives Joel one last glance. With a half-smile, she shakes her head as she heads toward the door. "I'll email her an offer. If she takes it, she takes it... But, I will be starting her off at our base pay."
Joel nods, suppressing the urge to beam as much as he'd like. "That's fine."
"Oh? And Joel?" She pivots back to Joel, hand on the doorknob. "I didn't hear a no. If I catch you guys in my office, I will fucking castrate you, you hear?"
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Two weeks ago.
Subject: About that list...
11:30 am (30 min ago)
Sugar,
Thanks for saving my ass last night. The meeting with The H Hotel went off with a hitch and Tess was none the wiser for my little mishap... no harm, no foul, right? Right.
About earlier today, when you said "Let's do this", was that a "Yes, maybe?" or a "Yes, definitely?" because I would very much like to do this, with you, at your pace, of course. I don't want to pressure you or anything. I'm just fucking excited, you know? You have no idea how much I've wanted to talk to you back then... I let shit get into my head, you know? Fuck. I'm rambling.
Thank you for giving me a chance, Sugar. I promise I will do everything in my power to make it worth your while.
Joel
Subject: RE: About that list...
11:45 am (0 min ago)
Yes, definitely. Yes to all of it. 
When do you want to start?
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One week ago.
[Hey Sugar, are you busy?] 
Not at the moment, I'm about to clock out for lunch, what's up? Did you click on a phishing link again?
[Sugar, have a little faith! Say, I'm about to head out to lunch too, meet me in the parking lot in 5?]
That's rather forward and presumptuous of you, Mr. Miller. What if I had already brought lunch from home? What if I was looking forward to eating my adult lunchable?
[What the hell is an adult lunchable? It sounds terrible! What if I take you to that little Sushi joint down the road? Would that be enough to convince you to come out with me? I'll let you snack on the lunchable on the way there.]
Hey! Don't knock my charcuterie! Also, Doesn't that "little sushi joint" have a two-month waiting list? It's impossible to get in! I thought that it was only open for dinner?
[Baby, don't you know that we built that restaurant? Masayoshi is a good friend of mine, and he owes me a favor. All it takes is one call, what do you say? Nothing's impossible for my Sugar.]
Nothing's impossible for my Sugar. Sugar. My Sugar.  You read Joel's message over and over again, your stomach growling as you contemplate the current state of your life. If someone had told you six months ago that you would manage to not only crawl your way out of the depths of Geek Squad hell, snag a decent job, and catch the eye of your hot-as-fuck boss, you would have laughed in their face at how ridiculous that sounded. It is ridiculous - how one little mistake led to having everything you could have possibly wanted out of your minuscule life, hot man included. So what if you haven't had a serious relationship since college? It's not like you were with your ex long enough for you to go all the way, and even then, you weren't remotely even into him, he was too skinny and nerdy and didn't scream 'man' at all. His nervous laughter and awkward shaking did nothing for you. Joel, on the other hand- now that was a man. A man you wouldn't mind climbing like a tree, all thick and firm and sturdy...
[Sugar? You still there? Are we doing this or not?]
You snap out of your daydreaming, your decision already being made. Your hands shake as you type out your response, your fingers striking the keys with a finality that you never would have thought you would ever have the courage for.  Well, you think to yourself as you press enter.  Here goes nothing...
I'll be right there. See you soon.
[That's my good girl.]
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"Hey, Sugar," Joel greeted with a playful grin from the driver's seat of his F-150, his arm casually resting on the open window. His eyes lingered on you as if savoring the moment. "Hop in, Masayoshi is heading over to the restaurant now."
You rolled your eyes with a teasing smirk as you approached the passenger side, clamoring into the cab with a bit of awkward grace. "Just like that? A single call to your chef friend, and he drops everything to cater to your every whim? Color me impressed, Mr. Miller."
Joel chuckled. "Well, what can I say? I am sort of a big deal." He reached for your hand across the center console, fingers intertwining, his thumb tracing soothing circles on your skin. "Is this okay, Sugar?" He lifted your hand to his lips, planting a gentle kiss. You couldn't help but smile, feeling a delightful flutter in your stomach. Turning your head away, you mumbled, "It's very okay, Mr. Miller."
"Now, what did I tell you?" Joel teased, a glint in his eyes. "It's Joel, none of this Mr. Miller nonsense. Save that for when we're crossing off items on my list, alright?"
You couldn't help but laugh nervously, a blush creeping up your cheeks as Joel's easy charm and forwardness caught you off guard. "You're going to be the death of me, Joel," you quipped, half-jokingly, half-serious, unsure how to navigate the sudden closeness. The air in the truck seemed to hum with a subtle tension, and you wondered if Joel could sense the rapid beating of your heart.
Joel's gaze held a playful sparkle, and he grinned. "Well, Sugar, I hope it's a good way to go." He revved the engine, and the truck rumbled to life as he pulled out onto the road. 
"So, Sugar, tell me something interesting about yourself," his fingers tapping the steering wheel to an imaginary beat.
You chuckled, playing along. "Well, Joel, I like to teach myself new things, I have a British shorthair named Sir Bubbles, you know, because I was obsessed with Bridgerton, And, by the way, it's Mr. Miller only when executing things on your list, right?" you teased, recalling his earlier remark.
Joel shot you a sly grin. "Sharp memory, Sugar. You're catching on quickly."
As you neared the sushi restaurant, the conversation seamlessly transitioned to lighter topics. Joel shared stories about his work, and how it felt working with Tommy and Tess, and you found yourself drawn into his earnestness and honesty. The playful banter continued as Joel made his way towards the edge of town, your cheeks hurting from how easy it was to smile in his company.
Parking the truck, Joel turned to you with a playful glint in his eye. "Ready for some sushi and more of my irresistibly charming company, Sugar?"
You roll your eyes, feigning reluctance. "Oh, the charm? I don't know if I can handle it, Mr. Miller."
He grins, opening your door with a flourish. "Well, brace yourself, because it's coming."
As you step out, Joel pauses, reaching behind your seat. "Wait a sec," he says, unveiling what looks like the botanical equivalent of a small garden. "A little something to brighten up your day."
You raise an eyebrow. "Is this part of the list?"
Joel chuckles. "Maybe."
You hesitantly reach for the massive bouquet, looking at the beautiful mix of colors in awe. "Joel," you breathe, "They're beautiful." 
"The woman at the shop said that certain flowers can have meaning. She asked me about you." He points to the flowers in your hand. "Lilies, well, they mean infatuation. Chrysanthemums, for excitement." He points to the pink rose. "For sweetness and admiration."
"and the carnations?"
"For fascination and enchantment." 
"Joel.. you don't mean that, do you?"
He chuckles. "Oh, I absolutely do, Sugar. Those flowers are just my way of expressing what I already know."
You playfully roll your eyes, holding the bouquet to your chest. "You're quite the charmer, Mr. Miller."
"Only for you," he replies with a wink, taking your hand as you both head towards the sushi restaurant. "After you, baby girl."
After lunch, you and Joel emerge to find the heavens have opened up, rain pouring down in sheets. Joel stops you in your tracks, his eyes locking onto yours with a mixture of sincerity and mischief.
With a twinkle in his eye, he asks, "Mind if I tick off the first thing on my list?" 
You smile, stepping closer to Joel as he tucks an arm around your waist, pulling you closer to him, the both of you soaked to the bone.
"Yes please, Mr. Miller."
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