#this isn’t really meant to be serious /neg | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

peterthepark · 2 years

Text

so damn into you

pairing: eddie munson x cheerleader!reader

tags: 18+ graphic smut, mature content, piv, dirty talk, established fwb, swearing, rough sex, ring kink and spanking, mentions of drugs, squirting, choking, throat fucking

summary: good girls stay out of trouble. bad girls invite rockstars like eddie munson into their bedroom and fuck secretly behind closed doors. there’s something different about your dynamic though, and you’re starting to think it isn’t just the sex.

notes: title references so damn into you by vlad holiday! enjoy :)

There seems to be this forbidden rule in the crowded halls of Hawkins High that runs till this day. It’s funny, truly, how the concepts behind cliques have such a serious hold over your fellow senior classmates. The idea that cliques can’t mix, can’t intermingle, or — hell — can’t even fucking look at each other because a glance meant absolutely everything drives you crazy.

Especially when you liked breaking the rules.

Especially when you liked looking at him.

Him with his shaggy hair, those big doe-eyes with that familiar sparkle of mischief that always had you smiling behind your locker whenever he’d saunter by, him with his obvious double takes of boyish desire in the cafeteria whenever you’d walk past in that tiny little skirt to go sit with the cheer squad as if you didn’t know each other at all, him and the way he stares at you after school, crossing his arms across his chest while he leans up against his van and counts the minutes till he can touch you.

Those eyes were always only for you. Always you. Always him. And yet, always behind closed doors, out of sight, forever in your mind, because the connection between an innocent cheerleader and the mirthful leader of the freakish Hellfire Club would be deemed the semester’s next controversial topic aside from that recurring rumor that Chrissy Cunningham does cocaine in the girls’ bathroom.

Not true, by the way. It’s definitely weed.

The twenty-year old senior has a reputation far different from yours, an accumulation of all the negative remarks people seem to implode upon him for his extreme love of D&D, overachieving rock band and his late highschool graduation.

Although, if someone were to accuse you of having sex with Eddie Munson on a regular basis? You’d be totally screwed. Surely, something with a lack of seriousness couldn’t be so problematic? Sex with no feelings. One-hundred percent, to the core, consensual sex, filthy and forward with zero emotions implied.

A fling, who you’d let tear you apart anytime and any day.

A fling that leaves you not just weak in the knees but… fuck. That’s all it is: a fling. Right?

So when Eddie shows up at your bedroom window with autumn-colored leaves in his hair and a shit-eating grin, the palpitations in your achy heart tell you otherwise. You don’t exchange many words, moreso just usher him inside and gently shut the latch behind him as if your entire manic spiel of avoiding each other’s houses hadn’t mattered at all anymore.

At this point, nothing matters. Except him. He always does. Especially now, when he’s hauling himself off of that little bench by your windowsill and nearly face-planting into the carpet with how he ungracefully maneuvers his taller frame into your arms for the millionth time this week. You’re careful not to make too much sound, giggling like children as Eddie’s boots thump against your flooring.

“Sorry. Sorry.” Eddie whispers with twitchy lips, scratching the nape of his neck bashfully as he adjusts to the midnight darkness of your small bedroom. “I know I’m late, but I had this really, really important campaign earlier and those shitheads Dustin and Mike needed a ride home, so I didn’t want to just leave them hanging which is why…”

You interrupt him with an overdue kiss to the lips, caressing his flushed cheeks as his outgoing hand gestures come to a halt and instinctively make their way down your soft sides. You slowly ease your tongue into his mouth, his large palm splaying over your jaw as he draws you closer to him.

“Well, hello to you too, sweetheart.” Eddie quips playfully.

You pull away shyly, wiping the smeared gloss from your mouth with the back of your wrist. “Sorry. Artificial strawberry.”

He hums in approval, smacking his lips together. “Tastes sweet. You know, actually reminds me of something…”

“Oookay, you can stop right there.”

“I was gonna say your…”

You glare at him, “Eddie.”

“Fine.” He rubs your chin with his thumb and pointer finger, remnants of a chuckle falling upon his features as the moonlight dances through your curtains. “Y’know, your lips are always so soft, so… fucking delicate — how do you do that? Jesus Christ, you smell really — fuck, you smell really good right now.”

You twirl one of his unruly curls around your digit, batting your lashes up at him as you pout with feigned innocence. “All fresh and clean from a shower.”

Eddie’s brows shoot upwards in amusement at your suggestion, “I can change that.”

“Really?” You gnaw on the inside of your mouth, feeling his hand dip lower and lower on your back as you instinctively arch into him. “Why? Feeling filthy?”

He holds your cheek, palm spreading across your blemished skin as he stares into your eyes. “Everytime I’m with you, all I am is filthy.” His lips twitch humorously. “You turn me into an absolute horndog, what can I say? Short skirts, knee-high socks, and you know I go a little crazy for those black converse.”

“Converse turns you on?” You snicker, nearly yelping aloud when the backs of your knees finally hit the edge of your king-sized bed and you catch yourself against the springy mattress.

You look up to Eddie, jaw falling open as he thumbs at your bottom lip. His tall shadow is far from menacing, but surely intimidating as he smiles toothily down at your frame. “You’re so silly, converse doesn’t turn me on. But, hey, you know what does, though?” He sighs out through his nostrils, using his other hand to card through your scalp and tilt your head back. “Mmm, look at me.”

“I am.” You gulp loudly.

“Look harder, Y/N.” You want him to swallow you whole. Right there, with that look, the intensity of his gaze and the dominant stature of his skilled hands molding and melting into your body. “You know what turns me on? The thought of having fucked you in nothing but those converse, back in my van, just a few days ago. You must remember, hm?”

You clench your thighs together at the recollection.

“I remember, alright.” You hold his stare, feeling his thumb dip a bit further into your mouth. “Came home smelling like sex and weed. My cheer uniform… all sticky and gross.”

“And you liked it… because the next day, you still smelled like my van. Meaning…” Eddie hooks his finger against the corner of your lip, before pulling away and putting the glistening digit against his own tongue. “You slept without washing me off you, little lady.” He hums in approval when you shut your eyes. “Hawkins’ perfect angel of a cheerleader, such a good fucking girl that surely no one in this small town would suspect that she’s actually just a slut for my cock…”

You whimper, tucking your chin to your chest as a rush of heat pulses through your cunt. “F-Fucking hell…”

“With the mouth of an actual sailor, by the way.” He shrugs almost dorkily, “But, god, do I love that mouth.” His hand slips to the nape of your neck, fingers gripping the soft skin before he starts to breathe heavily and blink rapidly. “Shit, can I kiss you?”

You don’t even answer, just nod and awkwardly rise from the bed to meet Eddie’s lips halfway — your knees are buckling beneath you from the weight of him against you, his plump lips velvety and familiar as his tongue explores your wet mouth.

You try to be more resigned, knowing that flaunting your neediness would only stroke Eddie’s already-growing ego. But your older classmate has learned to see right through whatever facade you use to convince yourself that you’re immune to him.

This current dynamic is different from when you first slept together.

You’ve grown bolder, he’s taken note of that. Especially in public, you like to stare. A minute turns into two, two turns into a couple glances that are too shit to be even called subtle, and glances turn into objectifying stares at his hands or rings, his lap, and sometimes even the ink on his arms.

Eddie gets off on it more than he should.

He finds pleasure in breaking your little good-girl cheerleader act, knowing that his unholy influence is seeping right through the cracks of your misleading halo.

But you’ve also grown tender to one another. Eddie knows there’s still that awful rift between your differing sides of highschool, but sometimes your company means more than just sex to him. He feels… wanted, seen, sure of himself, because a pretty woman like you probably wouldn’t hang out with anyone like him if he wasn’t someone of good substance.

And maybe, just maybe, it wasn’t only sex. Because on the afternoons you’d sit in his van, he sometimes wouldn’t even think about what was underneath that cheer uniform. Fuck the uniform, he could listen to you and your animated self talk for ages, watching how your bright smile spreads across your cheeks and your kind eyes light up with enthusiasm as you tell him about your day.

He knows he’s screwing himself over for the long run.

“I’m still sore, just so you know.” You whisper brokenly against his lips, clutching a fistful of his leather jacket. “I had to skip last practice because I really couldn’t walk straight.”

Eddie moans wantonly at the confession, covering up his whiny tone with a stifled cough. “Oh, that’s a shame.”

“It really is.”

“Let’s make it happen again, then.” He grins, winking at you before he’s settling you down onto the bed. He rests on his knees between your spread legs, chin jutted out as he studies how your arms lay out over your pretty head. “Fuck, you’re so cute like this.”

You scoff, glad that the darkness can mask your flustered expression. “M’not doing anything.”

Eddie tosses his jacket to the side, baring a plain white tee. “No, you aren’t. It’s just adorable seeing how all innocent and put-together you look right before I fuck you.”

You gasp when he roughly tugs you closer to him by the slope of your calf, hooking your leg over his shoulder and pervertedly watching the way your shorts ride up your thigh from the new angle.

“Take a picture,” You breathe out, moaning quietly as Eddie kisses along your exposed skin and brushes his mouth against your ankle. “It’ll last longer.”

“I have enough pictures back at home.” He smirks devilishly with a shrug, and you can’t help but laugh knowing that he’s absolutely right. Shoebox of polaroids and other things hidden under his bed. Classic move. “None of them are as good as the real deal right here, sweetheart.”

Eddie sets your leg down from his shoulder, gently skimming his hand over the faint lovebites across your thigh before he’s helping you out of your oversized shirt and shorts. Both look two sizes too big on you, but either way, he still finds it sexy. His palms hover over the naked swell of your breasts, fingertips barely running across your hard nipples as the cool air of your bedroom hits your chest.

Your apparent lack of bra is coupled with a pair of lacy boyshort panties, a little ripped by the waistband, but Eddie honestly doesn’t care (he can do a lot more damage than some wear and tear). He admires how it hugs your hips perfectly, cheeky from the back and nearly teases him with how it drapes over your ass before the cloth disappears between your luscious thighs.

“Touch me.” You pout, tucking his hair behind his ear.

He grins. “So eager, let me take you in. Don’t rush it.”

“Mmm, okay. Whatever you say, dungeon master.” A giggle escapes your throat, sweet and innocent, and not at all mischievous. His nostrils flare, eyes dilating into the darkest shade of brown you’ve ever seen him sport. “Does… that turn…? Oh, my god, it does!”

He pushes your shoulder playfully, sneaking a glance at the way your breasts jiggle from the movement. “Shut up.”

“Okay, I thought it was a joke.”

Eddie winces. “You’re kinkshaming right now, you know that?”

You bite back your widening smile, and take it upon yourself to hook your arms behind his neck as you clamber onto his lap. “I think it’s kinda hot.”

“You’re a horrible liar, Y/N.”

“Oh, please fuck me, dungeon master.” You draw a laugh out of Eddie, stroking his flushed cheeks as he finally finds the courage to lock eyes with you again. “Show me who’s boss. Come on.”

Eddie hisses when you grind yourself against his denim-clad thigh, suddenly a reminder of his aching hard-on. “You’re a fucking whore.”

“Okay, now you’re just telling me qualities about myself that I already know.” You nudge your nose against his, entranced by the image of his tongue darting out to wet his lips. “So? Are you gonna fuck me like the whore you think I am?”

Eddie’s hands squeeze the fleshiness of your ass, rings cold against your bottom before a hot sting starts to crawl over your skin.

He spanked you, and you’re certain that his ornate jewelry has left an angry mark that’ll appear in the morning.

“No need for me to think when I already know.” He whispers, before he’s pulling his shirt over his wild head of hair and flinging the ball of fabric at you. You catch it before it can hit you in the face, tossing it back at Eddie with a giggly hmph! that makes both of you lose your balance.

The sudden motion combined with your bodies at the edge of the bed sends you tumbling onto the carpet, limbs hitting the floor with a foreshadowing of bruises. You both wince at the loud thud that echoes throughout the house, and Eddie’s thankful that your family is full of deep sleepers — a theory that he hates to say has been tested out before.

“Are you okay?” He laughs, propping himself up on a pale elbow as he cups a hand over his twitchy mouth. You both erupt into hearty chuckles, muffling your amusement behind your forearm.

You groan, rubbing your boob. “Peachy.”

“Mmm, I’m sorry. Listen, I can make it better.” Eddie crawls over to you, spreading your thighs apart with an expert knee as he hovers over you. “I know a couple tricks.”

“If you’re that horny, you could’ve just told me.” He watches the careful rise and fall of your breasts, taking in the suppleness of your abdomen and the slight arch in your back against the floorboards.

He bends over you, slowly mouthing at the space above your navel before his large hands travel up your stomach and knead at your tits. Your mouth falls open, nothing but the ghost of a moan leaving your throat as Eddie pinches your nipples and runs his tongue up your middle. The hot muscle immediately finds one of your breasts, taking the pebbled skin between his lips before he tends to your other hardened nipple.

You card a shaky hand through his curls, taking a gentle handful and guiding his head to that sweet spot beneath your jaw. “Fuck, you’re pretty.” Eddie whispers, pecking the underside of your chin before he’s trailing his lips over that vein in your neck. “Can I tell you something?” You hum, lashes fluttering against your cheek as Eddie nips at your earlobe with a knowing grin. “I’m so fucking horny, I just wanna take you from behind on this floor. Is that what you wanted to hear from me, Y/N? God, is that alright? Me eating you out right here, me fucking your mouth till you’re just drooling, then me cumming inside your little pussy? Is that okay with you, sweet girl?”

You squirm beneath him, pleading with your eyes as he pins your wrists over your head. “Y-Yes, Eddie. I… fuck, yes. Please.” His teeth make contact with your neck, a tiny pinch drawing a needy groan out of you before his tongue swipes across your pulse point and soothes the bite mark he’s left. “Wanna feel good.”

Eddie kneels back and sighs out desperately, puffing his hair away from his face as he guides your hand and runs it over his torso. You bite your lip as goosebumps form under your compelling touch, his faint abs flexing against your palm as you skim over his happy trail and make straight for the tattoo near his collarbone.

“You can be quiet for me, can’t you?” He inquires, his voice dripping with desire. You nod instantly, and Eddie almost laughs at how quickly your head bobs in agreement. “That’s a good girl. Help me out of this, yeah? Can’t let me stay here and do all the work.” He gestures at his heavy belt buckle and distressed jeans, smiling cattily as your fingers eagerly run his belt out of the loops and pop the button of his pants. “Fuck, feel how hard I am.”

You sit up and press your hand against the thick outline of his clothed cock, mewling at the feeling as Eddie’s eyes light up with an immediate burst of ego.

“Don’t let it get to your head, Munson.”

“Honestly? It’s all going straight to my dick.” He huffs, throwing his head back as you kiss him through his boxers. The tone of his voice changes instantly once you start to palm him, lips massaging the tip of his leaking prick through the fabric, “Shit, fuck, o-okay… you know what, I’ve been edging myself this entire day, and I really don’t wanna get walked in on so if you could… just… hell, if I could fuck your throat like right now… please, I’m dying to be inside you.”

“God, you really are horny tonight.” You laugh teasingly, pulling the waistband of his boxers past his hips. “What’s gotten into you, rockstar? Is it the whole dungeon master thing?”

“Oh, my god. You need to shut the fuck up.” He hisses playfully, scooting forward until his hard cock is aligned with your parting mouth. “Getting off on my embarrassment is so not funny, Y/N.”

He doesn’t hesitate to shove the reddened tip right between your lips, and you immediately salivate at the weight of him on your tongue. Waiting has never been Eddie’s strong suit, always too eager, and you seem to take it as impatience when really, he’s yearning to be as close to you as possible.

“Mmm… E-Eddie!” You whimper around him, using your fist to fuck the base of his cock while you suckle on his aching head.

He inhales deeply, placing his hand on the back of your head. “Look at you, baby. C’mon, suck me off. You know exactly how to do it. Had to teach you in the library bathroom that one time, didn’t I?” His hips instinctively buck up into you, pushing his length further into your mouth. The tip of your nose is pressed up against the groomed tuft of dark curls by his lower abdomen, inhaling the scent of his manhood as Eddie guides your head up and down his dick. “Fuck, and you were such a f-fast learner, too. Weren’t you? Can I go a bit harder, sweetheart?”

Your face scrunches up into pleasure when Eddie’s hand dips between your thighs, cold rings skimming over the damp crotch of your panties before you’re widening your legs and opening your jaw even more for him.

He tightens his hold on the back of your head, fingers stroking your scalp as he keeps you in place and his hips rhythmically meet your mouth. Saliva starts to roll down your chin, a trail of wetness making its way past your flexing neck as Eddie fucks your warm throat.

“Damn it, Y/N, you’re taking it so well. You love it when I fuck your throat like this? Filthy thing, tsk tsk. What would your little cheer team say? Their favorite member… s-shit, getting her throat fucked by an awful boy like me in her own bedroom. You gonna tell ‘em how much you enjoy getting corrupted by me?”

You scratch at his inked thighs, clasping a hand over the backside of his knee to draw him nearer. His jeans hang haphazardly low on his hips, the front slick from the spit dripping off your knuckles and the mess that spills over the corners of your lips.

Eddie finds pleasure in your humiliation, in fact, it’s what keeps his cock begging for more.

So, when you quickly pull away from him and blink away the tears from your sparkling eyes to utter your next words, he’s practically begging for sweet release.

“Want you to be rougher with me tonight. Please, Eds.”

“How rough?” His brow quirks upwards, a taunting smirk tugging at his mouth. “Like… fuck you till you can’t walk kind-of-rough? Slap you in the face? Spank you till your gorgeous ass is just… covered in — fuck — bruises?“ He drags the tip of his prick along your cheek, moaning at how your eyes flutter shut at the feeling and a shaky sigh leaves your body. “Choke you till your neck is covered with the outline of my rings? What, so you can show up to school tomorrow and flaunt it for everyone to gawk at like the fucking dumbasses they are? Can’t figure out who’s been railing the pretty cheerleader, can’t they?”

You whine at his loaded words, avoiding eye contact when his fingers find the underside of your loose jaw. His touch is a stark contrast to the tone of his voice. “Need you so bad.”

Eddie begs to differ. He needs you more. Needs to be buried inside you and never leave, just an endless night of wild, uncoordinated sex like horny rabbits — so believe him when he says he needs this more.

“Where do you want me?”

A pout forms on your lips as you intertwine your hand with his and drag it towards your mound. “Here.”

Eddie coos, splaying a hand over your stomach. “Lay back then, baby. I’ll go easy. Promise.” You send him an unconvinced look, watching as he finds solace in the space between your thighs and flops onto his stomach. “What’s up with that face?”

You roll your eyes, gesturing at him as he hooks his ringed thumbs over your boyshorts and pulls. “And by easy you mean… make me cum on your tongue like fifty gazillion times till I’m begging for mercy.”

He pauses in contemplation, before letting out a sound of agreement and pursing his lips. “Sounds ‘bout right. You never seem to really complain though.” You swear your vision blurs when Eddie flattens his digit along your folds, teasing your poor hole with gentle swirls. “My sweet Y/N, it seems that you’re already soaking wet.”

“I can’t help it. Rings off, by the way.”

Eddie playfully frowns, making haste to rid himself of his silver ornaments. “Watch these for me.” You moan when he lines the cold jewelry straight along your navel, “And keep still.” He says. “Wouldn’t want these little babies all over the floor.”

You look down at him from where you lay, hands reaching for him as his steady breaths fan over your pulsing cunt. The placement of his rings on your belly feels incredibly sexual, like a signature on your body that belonged to Eddie. Every tiny movement you make causes the silver to shift just a little bit, so when his tongue finally makes contact with your clit, you have to stop yourself from thrashing out in satisfaction.

But something about the way Eddie looks at you from between your thighs, his moans buried in your own folds, just makes you want to leap up and take him right there.

Maybe you don’t give him enough credit for his restraint.

He continues to flick his tongue over your bundle of nerves, testing out your sensitivity and relearning the perfect amount of pressure when he suckles on your clit. He drags his hands down your outer thighs, gripping the soft flesh with a newfound hunger.

“Fuck, E-Eddie… feels nice. God, I love your mouth, you’re so — so good with it, baby.”

“Yeah? Fucking tastes delicious. Could eat your pussy out everyday.” He chuckles sneakily. “Maybe even take you to-go. Lick you up whenever I need a snack.”

You whimper, balling your hands into fists in his hair when he slips a long finger inside you. “Perv.”

“Simply a man speaking his mind, Y/N.” Eddie’s digit slowly curls into you, making an embarrassing wet and sopping sound that draws a whiny groan out of him. “Christ, you really are wet. Fucking hell, babe.”

Babe.

That’s a first.

Eddie adds another finger, the soft heel of his palm is pressed roughly against your clit as he rocks his hand into you. Your cunt grips around him tightly, pulling him in further with every stroke that brushes against your contracting walls. He nibbles on your inner thigh while gauging your reaction, dreamily gazing up at you with those huge eyes as he fucks you with his slender fingers.

“Eds, please. Mmm… f-fuck, I’m… fuck!” You grit your teeth to muffle the sounds of your broken moans, the rings laid out on your stomach nearly toppling over as your hips jolt up. “You fill me up so well, your fingers are so — fuck, please. Please just fuck me.”

“Oh, such a dirty mouth.” He hums in amusement, grinning as he uses his other hand to massage your clit. “At least give me one orgasm. Just one, baby. You know I love making you cum more than once. You deserve it, deserve cumming over and over again like the pretty girl you are.”

His hand snaps into you faster, your juices coating his palm as you start to drip all over him. His digits are embarrassingly slick, and you quickly feel the rush of your climax approaching from his gentle words.

“I’m — I’m close, just please… please keep touching me like that. Gonna… gonna cum.”

A smile spreads across his face, “Yeah? Keep beggin’ for it. Show me how much you want it. Need some convincing.”

“Please, please let me cum. I’m so — Eddie, want you so bad. Please make me cum so I can… fuck, so I can have your cock inside me already.”

“Only because you said so, sweet thing.”

You share a look. Longing. Need. Lust.

Then Eddie is fucking his fingers knuckle-deep into you, relentless and unstopping, a sensation so overwhelming that you don’t even know you’re cumming until Eddie is pointing out how you’ve wet the carpet.

“Did you just…” Your mouth falls open in disbelief, breasts heaving as he pulls his fingers from your cunt.

He grins toothily. The smug bastard. “Make you squirt? Hell-fucking-yeah.” Eddie leans over you, capturing your lips in a celebratory kiss that feels all too tender. “That was so goddamn hot. Christ, I could cream my pants.”

“You’re so lame.” You laugh, pushing his shoulder gently before he’s pecking either side of your cheek.

“Lame? Does lame make a girl squirt? I don’t think so. I’m cool-lame. Watch, I’ll make you squirt again.”

“In your dreams, Munson.”

He slips his boots off, pushing the rest of his jeans down and kicks it to the side. “Get on your knees.”

You send him a challenging look, raising your brows with a smirk. “If I don’t?”

“Guess I can just do this, then.” You yelp as Eddie flips you onto your stomach. His rings clatter loudly to the floorboards, flying in all different directions as he hooks an arm around your waist and pulls you closer to him. A heavy sigh leaves his mouth, and you glance back at him with sudden concern. “Fuck… condom?”

“Just pull out.”

“Just… pull… out?”

You shrug, making a confused face. “Yeah, I’ll pop something in the morning.”

“Y/N, honey, have you ever been to this thing called… I don’t know, sex-ed?” Eddie’s eyes are wide, and you would’ve laughed had you not noticed his extremely hard cock waiting in his hand.

“Honestly, I’m more of a hands-on learner.”

“Oh, are you now?”

“Most definitely. You’d know.”

“You sure you want me to pull out? We can just stop right here if you don’t wanna keep going.”

You bite your lip, eyeing him over your shoulder with a half-lidded gaze. “I wanna keep going.”

“Down you go then, Y/N. Fuck, let me see you.” His hand comes down on the middle of your spine, pressing onto your back until your cheek is laying against the floor. You can feel his tip prodding into your entrance, the teasing motion of his cock rubbing against your needy slit. “Shit, baby, could just cum on myself from looking at you.”

“Please, f-fuck me.”

His dick enters you in one, slow and agonizing motion. You muffle your moans into the carpet, mewling from the immense stretch you feel between your legs as Eddie buries himself deep inside you. His hips are lined up against the curve of your ass, his large hands leaving dark prints on your skin as he pulls out and pushes back in.

“S-shit… Y/N.” He drawls, hair falling against his face as he watches his thick cock disappear into your cunt. “Fuck, you’re so tight. What the fuck… Christ, it’s like the first time I had you.”

When he took your virginity on that lunch table in the trailer park, that’s definitely what he meant.

“Oh, my god. You’re so — so big, I can’t… can’t think with you inside, I just… fuck, move.” You reach back for his hand, nearly crying out when he places his palms on either side of your head and looms over your compromised position. He trails his soft lips over the nape of your neck, his pick necklace brushing over your skin as he breathes your scent in. “Need you. Need you, you treat me so well.”

“I know. I know I do, sweetheart. Rock back for me, yeah? Feel it, feel my cock right here.” You choke on a moan when Eddie feels up your abdomen, stroking the outline of his cock inside you. “Good girl. You can take it.”

His hand wraps back around your throat, fingers pressing into your pulse point before he’s pulling you up by your neck and having you sit on his dick. He chuckles darkly, “Your favorite seat in the house, right? All the way, Y/N. Take it deep for me.”

You shiver when his head pushes against your g-spot, and you realize that shutting your thighs together is absolutely no use when Eddie Munson is balls-deep inside you.

“Oh, f-fuck!” Your voice comes out garbled and raspy as his hold on your throat tightens, bruising yet pleasurable all at once as he pounds into you.

From fucking under bleachers, to the bathrooms in the library, to the back of his van and the floor of your childhood bedroom, you’ve come a long way.

Eddie’s fingers leave your throat and find comfort on your supple waist, digging into your generous hips as you grind on his lap. He meets you halfway with long strokes, slow and purposeful with each thrust of his cock.

“Y/N, baby… f-fuck, you feel so good. So fucking good. I-I — holy fuck — I’m so lucky I can do this with you.” He whines out, barely coherent, but you can only focus on that one phrase.

Lucky I can do this with you.

“Eddie, fucking hell. Oh, oh my god. P-Please… wanna cum on you.”

“Gonna get you there, baby. Promise. A little longer, yeah? Gotta make you cum before I do.”

Your fingers messily circle over your clit, a combined sensation of pleasure that adds to the feeling of Eddie stretching out your pussy beneath you. He’s holding back his moans, stifling whimpers against your shoulder when his pace starts to quicken and his rhythm grows sloppy.

You tilt your head back and reach for his lips, pulling his face against yours as he continues fucking into you. You still taste yourself on his tongue, and you’d be lying if you denied that you enjoyed the idea of his mouth being on your cunt just moments ago.

“You’re so pretty.” You whisper against his cheek, watching as his eyes close in bliss. “Fuck, you’re so hot. And I get you all to myself — a cheerleader and her favorite rockstar… oh, you fuck me so well.”

The praise goes straight to Eddie’s dick, and your words spur him on even further. He holds you tight against his chest, tattooed hands grasping at your skin and breasts as he feels you clench around his length.

“Close, ain’t you? C’mon, sweet girl. Two for two. Let me feel you cum, Y/N. S’my favorite part.” Eddie nearly topples over when your cunt gives his cock one hard and long squeeze, fingers flying to help you massage your clit as another orgasm pumps through your quivering body. “Holy fuck, you’re so sexy when you cum. S-Shit, I… I gotta pull out…”

You nearly sob from the loss of contact when Eddie leaves you, emptying his seed out across your back and the tenderness of your ass as he grunts quietly behind you. Of course, you make no subtlety to watch him ride out his high — that perfect scowl on his face, the curl on his lip as he moans and runs his thumb over the leaking head of his prick.

“Hoooly fuck…” You sigh out, knees giving out from under you. Thankfully, Eddie catches you at the last second, arm swooping under your stomach before your body can make contact with the floor. “Oh, my god. That was…”

“Yeah, I… I honestly can’t… can’t think right now when there’s cum all over us.” He giggles heartily, leaving a hickey right on your collarbone. “Fuck, your neck is all red and purple.”

“Hot.”

“Not hot, I’m sorry if I was too rough. Just been thinkin’ about you lately, and… well, I guess I couldn’t help myself. Hold still for a sec.”

The admission makes you smirk, and you look back at Eddie as he grabs a random towel from your closet and wipes his spill off of your back. You turn over once he’s finished, arms outstretched over your head as Eddie sits against your bed frame and lazily draws shapes on your calf.

“You think about me in your free time often, Munson?”

He clicks his tongue and tilts his head to the side cutely, “Only when I wanna recall something pretty.”

“Mhm. Sure, rockstar.” You flick at his hand.

“Don’t let it get to your head, miss cheerleader.”

Eddie continues running his fingers up and down your leg, taking in the beautiful sight of your naked body as the late midnight seeps through your curtains. You hum as he brings your ankle to his lips, pressing a tender kiss to the bone before he’s leaning his head back against the edge of the bed and letting out a tired sigh.

“Wish you could stay the night.” The words that leave you shock you just as much as they do Eddie. “I mean, I just don’t want you driving back so late, y’know.”

“I know.” He takes note of your darting eyes, suddenly evading his amused stare at all costs. He’ll play nice for now. “I’ll see you tomorrow though, just before first period. Wanna see you in your dorky uniform.”

You gape at him, sitting up with an expression of feigned offense. “Okay, rude. I thought the uniform was hot — like, like every guy’s fantasy kind of hot.”

“Only getting back at you for calling me dungeon master.” He shrugs giddily, before he’s pulling your legs off of his lap then slipping on his wrinkled boxers and jeans. You follow suit, fetching new underwear and a flannel before you prop the window back open while he collects his rings from your bedroom.

Eddie’s belt buckle jangles behind you as you sit on the bench by the windowsill, looking out at the flickering street lamp of your little culdesac. A hand on your hip draws you from your trance, and you’re met with Eddie’s sunken face of an awaiting goodbye.

“Stay safe, Hellfire.” You tease, heart fluttering as he squeezes your side and gently moves you away from the window. You’re unable to tear your gaze away from his arms, admiring the way his tattoos glint on his porcelain skin.

“By the way, best part about this is the drive back.”

“Huh?” You lean over as Eddie clambers out onto your roof, boots nearly slipping on the shingles. “Why’s that?”

He smirks, glancing at the sky before he settles on the details of your face. “Get to think about you all the way home.”

Then, he’s landing on your lawn with two feet and jogging away from your porch, but not without a nerdy wave and a little wink that makes your heart do another somersault similar to when he first knocked his way into your room.

Whatever this is, whatever it’s going to be, you know the both of you are absolutely fucked in the long run. Either way, it doesn’t matter what people will end up thinking.

You’re so damn into him, even if it is — after all — just a fling. Totally a fling.

Just a cheerleader and her favorite rockstar.

#eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x fem!reader #eddie munson smut #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson fic #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson fanfiction #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson oneshot #stranger things #stranger things season 4 #stranger things fanfic #stranger things fic #stranger things imagine #stranger things oneshot #stranger things x reader #stranger things x you

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traumasurvivors · 1 month

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I wrote a blog post about how harmful it can be to have your emotions invalidated growing up. It's here if you want to check it out! I'll paste the text below the read more for people who don't like links, but if you're comfortable, I really appreciate getting hits on my site! It feels really validating after all the work I've put into it. I've opted to not have any ads or anything to monetize my site, so it isn't like those annoying clickbait articles.

The effects of having our emotions invalidated while we’re growing up isn’t talked about enough and it can have lasting effects. This can happen when people say things like “you don’t know real struggles” when a younger person is upset about something they’re struggling with. This might include being told “I’ll give you something to cry about” which implied that the reason you were crying then “wasn’t a big enough reason”. Other people may have had to deal with “worse” problems and so we were told to be thankful for what we had because of what other children experienced. Your feelings of sadness, frustration, disappointment or anger were still real and valid. And you were allowed those feelings.

You may have been told to “stop being so sensitive,” which taught that you weren’t tough enough. You may have also been told “it builds character” which may have made you feel that you had to find a positive lesson in every bad thing you experienced. This can also be part of how people invalidate the seriousness of abuse, and other things that happened to you that were someone else’s fault. If someone doesn’t want to take responsibility, they may minimize what happened to you. They may say it’s okay because “they didn’t mean to do it” or “they don’t know any better,” perhaps because of abuse they went through. Your feelings may be invalidated because someone wants you to “let it go.” How serious they feel it was, or the reasons it happened, are not reasons that your feelings should be ignored or disregarded. Your feelings are valid. You should never have to “let it go.”

These things that we were told, and many more, taught us that our emotions were bad and wrong. It likely felt invalidating. It may have been damaging And it probably affects how we see the emotions of others. I’ve had people say similar things to me now that I’m an adult, and I think it’s likely they do it because they were told things like these when they were younger, too. Over time, this has led to me invalidating my own feelings. I’ve told myself I should be strong and to avoid such feelings, or that the reasons for them weren’t “big enough”. I told myself that others had it worse than me, therefore I wasn’t allowed to be upset. None of these things helped me. Instead, they actually made me worse off. I bottled stuff up and then began using unhealthy coping methods to deal with the emotions. Having our emotions invalidated as we grow up can be traumatizing in its own way. It also doesn’t teach us how to effectively deal with and process our negative emotions. This can lead to people having fits of uncontrollable rage, spirals of depression and guilt, substance abuse to avoid feelings, and any number of other unhealthy reactions that can cause us more harm and prolong everything or make it worse.

Being unable to cope with my feelings was a big part of me not being able to cope with conflict in my relationships. Downplaying any “bad” thing that happened and ignoring it meant, for instance, I wouldn’t point out and deal with a small (sometimes completely unintentional) mistake. Instead, I let my feelings build without communicating about them and let my resentment build. By the time I acknowledged and spoke about my feelings, the problem was a thousand times worse than it would have been if I had dealt with it quickly. And sometimes it was too late to fix the damage done.

It’s not too late to learn and do better. You don’t have to be thankful it wasn’t “worse”. You don’t have to find a silver lining. While it’s important not to get stuck in our feelings long-term, sitting with them and feeling them and acknowledging you aren’t okay is okay! It’s okay to think something sucks or that it wasn’t fair. It’s okay to feel frustrated or sad over “small” things. Sometimes we don’t even understand why a situation or something has left us having such big feelings, and that’s okay, too! Your feelings are real and valid, even if they don’t make sense to you. And you deserve patience and compassion. Especially from yourself.

When you have negative feelings, if you find yourself minimizing them, or telling yourself why you don’t have a right to feel them, stop and try to be aware of what you’re doing. And allow yourself to feel it if you can. I've often had to remind myself that while it is uncomfortable, I can be uncomfortable and sit with my feelings. Think about if there’s a healthy response you can have to those feelings. For instance, if someone said something hurtful to you, talking to them about it might be a lot more productive than acting like you don’t care. Your feelings are valid. And invalidating them yourself is unlikely to be good for you.

Try to remember that, and try to be kind to yourself.

#my blog posts #emotions #validation #trauma

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minotaur-asterion · 15 days

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Fellas, I haven’t written a post like this in five years, and I hoped I’d never have to, but here we are. Recently I’ve been seeing a couple posts in the Slay the Princess tag spreading negativity: complaining about certain characters getting more attention and different treatment, implying rather serious things about people who prefer one character over the others, generally trying to start drama. (That is what I assume the posts are meant to do, since I would hope everyone remembers that if you don’t have anything nice to say...) The topic of community within this fandom is very important to me so I feel it’s necessary to give a very gentle reminder of what the game is all about.

Attempting to shame other people for focusing on specific characters is horribly inappropriate. The game only has three characters, and there’s not much room to ignore any of them given their importance to the story. If people love the Princess, that’s because she’s literally in the title of the game; if people love the Long Quiet, that’s because they are an expression of you as the player; if people love the voices and the Narrator, that’s because they act as your companions throughout the game.

I’m really glad that most of us appreciate all the characters! But you cannot expect every single person to have the exact same opinions about every character. We all come from different walks of life and we will all have our own specific reasons for loving a certain character more or less. Whether you understand these reasons or you’re making general assumptions about why they’re particularly drawn to them, it isn’t okay to be rude about it. As the saying goes: “don’t yuck someone else’s yum.”

It truly makes me sad to see that, considering this game is about perspectives (especially perspectives that conflict), some Slay the Princess fans refuse to extend the courtesy of hearing someone out- and, barring that, leaving them alone. Seriously, if something bothers you there’s a block button!

There is, of course, nuance; if you’re speaking with a friend group in private and everyone has explicitly stated this kind of behavior is acceptable, then have at it. My problem is when people do it to random strangers- they are not engaging in fandom to listen to others rag on about them and insinuate things like misogyny and misandry.

Kindness is free, don’t forget to like and subscribe, etc.

#slay the princess

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amethyst-draws09 · 2 months

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The smiling critters situation on YouTube and Tik tok is disgusting.

Now I don’t like being serious/negative here and I always post wholesome stuff about these guys but this NEEDS to be addressed because it’s not right

Now with YouTube. You have SOME cool videos about these guys (mostly reuploads of comic’s from tumblr or X. However if you go scrolling for even a minute on there you will see some REALLY nsfw thumbnails on videos about them. Now it shouldn’t be said how just utterly appalling this is as A how many children are on this site and B considering how children coded these characters are. AND YK ALL OF THEM ACTUALLY BEING CHILDREN?!?!

Now it shouldn’t be said that you really shouldn’t click on these videos to begin with because the thumbnails are meant for to drag in either Weirdos or really little kids who don’t know any better what is just disgusting. See one of these videos? Report it and just ignore it don’t give them the clicks they want.

Unfortunately the most targeted of the critters is imo. Dogday and catnap. Again it shouldn’t have to be said why this is plain wrong and disgusting.

And TikTok isn’t much better. Now most of the time you got genuine people doing good art on there are doing actual funny/wholesome videos. But then you can get these really REALLY weird shipping videos of them.

Let me get this straight now. Platonic ships of the CARTOON versions are fine I don’t really mind/care about that. But once you move to the actual ones,the bigger body initiatives it gets weird as said before they are quite literally children. And also the weird shipping side of this. The either nsfw or suggestive side is again disgusting and just shouldn’t happen EVER.

And it’s not just on those sites it’s pretty much on every site (except tumblr I haven’t seen any bad stuff on here. Yet)

Now unfortunately this happens with every fandom. It’s inevitable. But there’s really been a rise about this just in general and it needs to be stopped it’s not right.

Sorry about the serious tone of this but I needed to say this as it just ain’t right. Thanks for reading.

#smiling critters #dogday #poppy playtime #catnap #kickinchicken #ask me anything #drama #serious post #seriously

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taegyuun · 2 years

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jealous jungwon

pairing: jungwon x reader

request: can u please do a jungwon jealous head canon ?

word count: 0.7k

genre: fluff, protective jungwon lols

warnings: probs swearing

notes: hi everyone! as you know, i haven’t written in a long long long time, and i was originally meant to post something for sunoo (which i’m still planning to) but for some reason this just sparked instant ideas and i really wanted to write it, so here it is. super sorry for my absence and i hope you enjoy!

alrighty

honestly speaking, i don’t think jungwon would get jealous very often, he’s the leader of enhypen and understands that everyone is their own person and he understands your character and personality

so he doesn’t really ever feel jealousy because he understands you and isn’t insecure about your guys’ relationship

however, he gets incredibly protective

i’m not sure why but i just imagine him as someone who is naturally almost idk possessive

like not in a harmful and negative way

but in a way of, “i love you so much and i care for you so deeply i’d risk my life for you”

but whenever he does get jealous, its like kinda a big deal

like he doesn't get jealous for some willy nilly reasons, he's mature yknow

so when he does get upset, i’d say its quite serious

like lets say you’re at some party together and youre talking to a small group of people but a specific person took a liking to you

not in a malicious way and trying to break you and jungwon up or anything

they just weren't aware of your relationship status

but yeah anyway, you'd be talking to this person and practically spent the entire night with them, thinking you had made a new friend

obviously jungwon isn't some weirdo who doesn't let you make new friends, but the fact that this person was practically drooling over you and hadn't left your side for longer than 10 minutes irked him just slightly

what annoyed him a tad more was that you didn’t seem to notice or at least ignored the fact that the person was all over you

he wasn’t about to blame you for the persons interest in you, but damn, couldn’t the kid just take a damn hint

at one point, he just got bored of seeing them drool over you and realised you hadn’t taken their actions as anything else but being nice and welcoming to you, clearly wanting to make a new friend

yeah wanting to make a new friend my ass

he’d kinda just rock up to you guys and raise his brow at the other person in a “what are you doing” manner as if the person was acting like an absolute fool and causing second hand embarrassment

honestly i think he’d be kinda scary when he’s jealous/protective

you notice a new presence next to you and look up, only to notice jungwon

“oh hey baby, i was wondering where you went”

jungwon smiled back in reply and kissed the crown of your head while interlacing your hands together, before making eye contact with the person stood in front of the both of you

the look on their face almost made jungwon laugh out loud as he tried to conceal a snicker

“oh yeah, i wanted to introduce you to someone-” before you could even get your full sentence out and introduce your brand new friend to jungwon, he cut you off with a firm squeeze of your interlaced hands

“no need darling, we wont need to make any introductions, its our time anyway.”

you didn’t really question him other than raise your brows slightly, but because jungwon rarely acted like this, cold and straight forward with his words, you understood there was something going on and just gently nodded your head

you waved a small bye to the person you had spent most of the night with, with a small smile as you saw them curtly nod your way and head a different direction

“what was that all about won? they were really nice to me all night you know? i thought you would’ve liked them”

“hmm maybe i would if they weren’t trying to go after my s/o”

the surprised look on your face almost made jungwon pull his hand out of yours and facepalm

“how on earth did you not realise that they were flirting with you practically the entire night?”

“i don’t know, i thought they just wanted someone to hang out with” you shrugged your shoulders as jungwon swung an arm around them with a smile and a shake of his head at your nice nature

“why don’t you spend the rest of the night with me then, hmm? i think i deserve some of your time after you left me for them” he’d be pouting while saying all of this, obviously to wind you up, not really minding that you did your own thing

you’d look up at him and roll your eyes before placing a kiss on his cheek and watching his eyes light up even more as if that was possible, and a pale pink blush spread across his cheeks

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tofu-bento-box · 25 days

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// serious post

here’s the thing i don’t get: people tell you to communicate your feelings, and then react negatively when you feel something they don’t think you should.

i’m ill in six different directions: my feelings are mostly negative and generally illogical. i get upset for reasons that i know don’t matter in the bigger scheme of things. but i can’t express that anger or hurt, because then people think that i am selfish, and entitled, and a bad friend. on the other hand, though, i’m also bad at hiding my feelings, and saying you’re okay when you clearly aren’t is also rude. so it’s just a constant struggle between “how much can i say to make this person feel that i’m answering truthfully, without them deciding i’m a selfish asshole.”

people tell me that you can’t rationalize away your emotions, and then react with disgust when i can’t do that for “the things that matter.” i’m upset. i know i shouldn’t be, i’m upset that i’m upset, but you sitting there judging me isn’t exactly going to help the situation. i know that whatever’s going on with my friends is more important than how it affects me. but then what does selflessness look like? is it not being upset in the first place, or is it just hiding your expression of your hurt? am i incapable of being a good friend because i can’t keep myself from feeling things i shouldn’t?

i just don’t get people sometimes. it’s like everyone has a rulebook for what’s allowed, and they just forgot to give me a copy. i get told communicate, communicate, communicate, over and over, and everyone forgets to mention what i’m meant to be conveying. because sometimes it really seems that what they want isn’t the truth.

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sminiac · 2 months

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Hi! First and foremost, I hope you’ve been doing well. 😊

I’ve been reading your xikers fics for a couple weeks now and love love love your writing! Have mostly stayed in the shadows but I thought It’d be fun to break into the sun a little by sending in a rec and becoming a regular anon 🤭 So, with that being said, what are your thoughts on xikers hyung line asking their s/o for a quickie during a video shoot (and succeeding)??

If possible, I’d love to be ☁️ anon. Take as much time as you need, and if you’re unable to get to this, no worries. Have a beautiful day/night!

💌 — Hi friend, I have been! Hope you’re good too <3 I’m so relieved that you like my work🥹 so happy, so smiley !!! your kindness is very motivating and appreciated <3 I’d love for you to stick around and send more stuff in, ☁️ is all yours :b

Warnings — Smut focused, MDNI.

⋆ K. Minjae

He means business, like- you can tell immediately from the way he walks up to you that he’s wanting something, he has this kind of energy that makes you giddy from how serious he’s being, his directing words short and a biting so him and his members can progress through the shoot faster because it meant that “cut!” Would be shouted and he’d be free to get his hands on you. When he approaches you a little breathless, heavy on his feet with unmoving emotion in his face and vaguely explaining to you through his teeth that he needs help with ‘something’ that you shouldn’t entertain it with anything but an agreement.

If the shoot is going slower than he likes or there’s a significant amount of mistakes and he’s running high on rather negative feelings Minjae doesn’t take it out on you, at least not consciously. He doesn’t speak a whole lot, but when he does it’s mainly praise, how good you’re being, how good you’re making him feel, so wrapped up in his pleasure that he doesn’t realize how you’re struggling to keep yourself steady and quiet, but don’t worry, that’s what he’s for!

Remainder of members under the cut!

⋆ P. Junmin

You’ll know, but he isn’t loud about it. I’d say that he wouldn’t be loud at all, a lot of the time he won’t even so much as vocally mention being needy due to how embarrassing it is to have a hard on when he’s working, and having to hide it. The thing is his mannerisms are so distinct and discernible to your eye that within a few minutes you have him fully peeled back by layer after layer, the fact that you’re so reactive makes him twitch with excitement…. And maybe even a lick of shame seeing the way you dissect him so openly yet so accurately.

Occasionally he likes being degraded into tears by your mean words.. until he’s having to go back to get his makeup touched up and they’re asking about it, other times he’s whimpering the sting off, fighting it to show you how good he can be, it all really depends on the day. Junmin isn’t one to be particularly bratty when in public, he complies and listens very well, so much so that it’s hard to not reward him with something a little extra. He can be kind of loud, but it’s so cute seeing him try to quiet himself :(

⋆ C. Sumin

It’s instinctive almost. Either one of you just knows when the other is feeling even a little needy, which automatically makes its way to the other if it hasn’t already. When your hands aren’t on each other your eyes are, sometimes he even gets a little too deep into the (practically) eye fucking game, silently mouthing to you fleeting explicit words that no one else would be able to pick up on so easily. Quickie’s are a very easy, effortless agreement, one of very few words to cut down on wasting time together and avoiding any possible conflict it could cause. When he wants you there’s no stopping him- like a fixation for a lack of better words, once his heads flicking in the direction of an area you know is secluded the agreement is sealed off.

Acts like the two of you have all the time in the world. Sumin has a habit of needing to see what he does to you, hardly can he ever get off by feeling alone, you’re just so pretty and react to his touches and words in just the right ways. Tells you to “keep your eyes open” when he’s fucking into you, even if you’re balancing on a on a thin edge between delirium and unearthly pleasure, it’s hard to pay his instructions no heed when he looks so perfect, all sweaty and exhausted but still putting in his all to bring you to your peak.

⋆ H. Jinsik

Very communicative, he isn’t the shyest about running back to you during their breaks between sets just to plead with you, when he can’t vocally then he’s shooting you knowing looks, he’s especially bad for doing it while someone on their makeup team is right in front of him. Doesn’t like how easily you brush him and his suggestions off- he’ll whine and complain but that doesn’t stop him from coming back. Coolly drops a “Yeah I just need to talk to y/n for a sec.” then runs away to go annoy you with his near constant stream of “please, please, please!” Has to be shut up when you’re giving him what he wants, sometimes the fact that he has to be quiet slips his mind, other times it’s purposefully disregarded which does him no good in the end.

Always says he can take it, swears he can until your skin makes contact with his and he’s clenching his jaw so hard that it makes his head ache, added the strained little thrashes whilst attempting to remain still and quiet for you, tries his hardest to prove to you that he can handle the pleasure, but it always ends up with him all fucked out and sluggish when they return to filming. With a promise of tending to him properly when the days wrapped up he’s suddenly raring to go!

⋆ C. Hyunwoo

Plays the long game. He wouldn’t specifically mention how horny he is- in fact he tries to be coy about it whilst hoping you’ve maybe already noticed, he even has his moments of passing off indifferent comments like: “what if we had sex here, haha, wouldn’t that be so crazy? Haha.” The longer you play along instead of just pulling him away to get under his clothes the more he becomes frustrated with the lack of attention, your clueless facade being the only reason he’s left exasperated by his futile efforts and notably hot in his intricately pieced together outfit. When Hyunwoo realizes that his feigned passivity doesn’t penetrate your resolve quite the way he intended he’s immediately going with another route, shows off all he is and what he has to offer until you’re the one trying to convince him to run off.

Finally having you to himself goes either one of two ways. He sits back and instructs you to do all the work due to his exhaustion or takes his long pent up arousal out on you completely. He doesn't favour one over the other, he enjoys a healthy mix of both, especially when you're rewarding him for putting his all into recording! But like everyone Hyunwoo has his off days, then is when he just wants to take you the way he wants, and allowing him to do so doesn't disappoint in the slightest. He's incredibly good with being sneaky, knows when to slow his movements, when to cover your mouth, when there's no one around and he's free to do as he wants.

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audiblehush · 1 month

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I know this isn’t really relevant to the recent promo we’ve gotten (which I’m still swooning over, for the record), but I’ve been thinking about how some people in this fandom have been fussing over Pen having a potential suitor (or suitorS, we don’t really know) this season, and I don’t understand their complaints, I guess?

… like, I’m pretty sure that it’s meant to MIRROR Season 1.

(…see what I did there? ;)

There are multiple ways in which Colin and Penelope’s stories / situations have mirrored the other. They are not perfect mirrors (that would be dull), but they ARE similar and I truly believe that it’s intentional to reinforce both Polin’s compatibility and ultimately their empathy for the other.

A few examples:

—

Colin: is viewed as the “one-dimensional” easy-going, un-serious, charming brother who never rocks the boat; never gets angry.

Pen: is viewed as a shy, quiet, harmless wallflower who never steps out of line and is kind of a doormat.

—

As a result of the above perceptions:

Colin: is desperate for something to fill his time and energy the way his brothers have something, SO he impulsively courts and proposes marriage to a girl he barely knows to feel needed and wanted in a way that makes him feel mature; and he gets the validation he seeks from Marina, as it suits her needs (I don’t mean that in a derogatory way, she genuinely needed him to be desperate for validation to get a quick marriage). A heady feeling, someone relying on you and telling you that you are desperately needed…

Penelope: is desperate to feel a part of the ton in any way she can, because her and her family are tolerated at best, and heavily criticized at worst. So rather than suffering through the season, crushed, and always on the sidelines against her will, after choosing to start LW —perhaps on a whim, perhaps it was discovered and encouraged by chance like in the books— she “chooses” to hug the wall and not be noticed… (not at all a coping mechanism and a fear of rejection, amirite??) …and she eventually gets the acceptance and validation she seeks by having the ton hang off her every word as LW…. Again, a heady thing for a lonely 17-18 year old who wants to be heard and who craves acceptance, however she can get it.

—

Penelope: has to watch the man she’s in love with, one of the few people who listens to her and who she shows aspects of her true, (sometimes cutting self) with, court and eventually propose to a girl she knows is actively manipulating him.

She then (quickly, imperfectly and messily) interferes to spare Colin from the plot… without his input (after a failed first attempt to appeal to him, in her defense… and then the time limit became a problem).

Colin: quickly and imperfectly interferes in Jack’s ruby scheme in order to fix his own rashness, but also to spare the Featherington family… (without their input, it must be noted, even though he says he does it for them).

…And now in season 3, Colin will need to watch as Pen attempts to attract suitors, possibly while he watches with feelings of jealously if she has some success (Edit: Though I doubt it will get all the way to an engagement; too redundant)

(And this is nothing but speculation, but I also wouldn’t be surprised if Colin either discovers something about one of the suitors, or about another plot entirely and is forced to make a difficult decision regarding it, that impacts Penelope).

—

Penelope: writes things that can have a negative impact on or hurt people, sometimes for her own own comfort (LW), even if it’s not intentional.

Colin: says and does things that hurt others or that are misleading / obliviously harmful, sometimes for his own comfort (avoiding the needling of those men at the end of S2), even if it’s not intentional.

—

Penelope: has self esteem that has been in the TRASH since the beginning of the series - this poor girl hates herself, and has had it reinforced often (and likely from a young age) that her thoughts and opinions aren’t worth hearing, and that she is never enough (and is one of a few reasons why I find the “she wanted Colin for herself!” takes about the end of S1 pretty laughable)… so she hides behind LW. Colin is one of the only people she’s hinted to that she can be biting (Eloise gets glimpses of it), and I think the ONLY one she has hinted at that she has “grand dreams”

Colin: ALSO has self esteem that is pretty low, desperately seeking something that he thinks will make him feel whole and complete, the forgotten middle child (same, bro…), and he masks this uncertainty by flaunting a fake confidence and hiding behind his hobbies and being what everyone wants him to be… also he he can keep people from looking deeper… while simultaneously desperate to be seen by those around him. Pen is the only person he’s really hinted at that he’s unhappy when they discuss purpose.

—

EDIT: How could I forget?! BOTH are the third children in their family. Colin is the forgotten middle child, and Pen is the youngest, but both are criticized by their acting heads of their household (Anthony for Colin, Portia for Penelope), and criticized by their siblings. Penelope’s sisters brutally mock her often: her weight, her skin, her letter-writing, etc. Colin’s siblings clearly mean to just tease him, but it’s obvious how much their lack of interest in him as a person hurts him and makes him feel invisible and unwanted (my poor boy 🥺…)

—

Mirrors, mirrors, and more mirrors. Sometimes they are funhouse mirrors, the situations aren’t ever exact, there are nuances and specific context to each, but imo the similarities are very intentional.

The show is going out of its way to put these characters on more equal footing, and to have each of them make blunders in their lives and in the lives of others, knocked off their respective pedestals, to set them up to be like “wow, I get it, I get YOU and I choose YOU, with all the highs and all the lows” … and I LOVE it!! 🥹

People in this fandom tend to relate to either Penelope, Colin, (or sometimes both), and that’s awesome… but that doesn’t mean they don’t each have flaws. It also doesn’t have to become a “who hurt who more, who is more right?” - I am so uninterested in that: pain isn’t a competition.

What I AM interested and invested in is their growth, seperetly and together, and the removal of their masks to truly see and accept the other.

So yeah, y’all. It’s called a parallel, and I really hope we get loads of them in S3. 🥰

I honestly really welcome conversation and thoughts about this; I’m pretty new to the fandom, but unfortunately I have seen a lot of people (on tumblr in particular) be very “holier than thou” if they don’t agree on an interpretation, and it makes the fandom seem very unwelcoming and makes me nervous to even post things, which is pretty ridiculous. :/

Fandom gonna fandom, I guess. 🤷‍♀️ I just really love this show and this pairing and I’m dying for S3.

#bridgerton #polin #penelope featherington #colin bridgerton

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honeyjars-sims · 2 months

Text

2.21 Pleasant Lies

Lexie: I don’t know what’s going on with me. I was so excited for our trip but when I got there, I just felt irritable.

Kelsey: Why, did something happen?

Lexie: Well, the only thing is that his sister bailed at the last minute and it really hurt my feelings. I don’t know, Kelsey. I’ve just been feeling out of sorts lately. I thought it was because I haven’t seen my family in a while, but now I’m not so sure.

Kelsey: Do you think maybe you didn’t want to be alone with him for that long?

Lexie: Maybe. I just feel so bad. He was so patient with me through all my crankiness and to make it worse, after all that he told me he loved me for the first time.

Kelsey: Wow, what did you say to that?

Lexie: I…said it back.

Kelsey: You sound hesitant. You meant it, right?

Lexie: Yes! No. I don’t know.

Kelsey: Sounds like “no” to me.

Lexie: I guess I just felt like even if I don’t love him yet, I probably will soon. So why not just say it back?

Kelsey: Because you don’t tell people you love them if you don’t! What if you never feel that way about him?

Lexie: I don’t see why I wouldn’t. We have a ton in common. He makes me laugh like no one else. He’s really sweet, and I do care about him a lot.

Kelsey: I’m sensing a “but.”

Lexie: [sighs] But there’s something in my gut that just makes me feel weird when I think about having a future with him. Maybe I’m just scared.

Kelsey: Of what, commitment?

Lexie: I don’t know. This is my first real relationship. It just started feeling so serious all of a sudden.

Kelsey: You know monogamy isn’t the only option, right?

Lexie: Yeah, but it’s not like I'm interested in any other guys. I’m not sure if opening the relationship would change anything.

Kelsey: Well, whatever it is, you need to be honest with him. It’s not just a one-time fib. You’ll be lying to him every time you say it.

Lexie: I just don’t want to hurt him. He’s been through so much. I don’t want to be the reason he feels bad about himself.

Kelsey: I know, but you can’t protect him from every negative feeling. You know how they say a painful truth is better than a pleasant lie? It might hurt in the moment, but keeping the truth hidden could be worse for him in the long run.

Lexie: [sighs] It has to count for something that I want to love him, right?

Kelsey: Ok, but you don’t. And he deserves to know the truth.

Lexie: You’re right. I’ll talk to him. I just hope he takes it ok.

Previous | Beginning of story | Beginning of chapter | Next

#oh Lexie you're so close to figuring this whole thing out #just hang in there #ts4 #the sims 4 #sims 4 #ts4 story #simblr #sims storytelling #sims story #safeharborstory #sh:lexie #sh:kelsey #stksafeharbor #sh:chapter2 #simlit

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midnightsxxvi · 2 years

Text

Joints

bestfriend!eddie teaches u to roll a joint.

Contains: innocent!reader; shy!reader; marijuana use; two idiots in love; virgin!reader; non canon; mention of drinking; shotgunning smoke; takes place around ‘87 or ‘88; use of pet names like ‘sweetheart’ and ‘princess’ and ‘honey’; this isn’t smut but it’s on its way to be; no use of y/n.

W/c: 3.2 k

“You’re sure?” Eddie repeated for the third time.

“Please?” You held your hands to your sides, hands clenched and clammy. “You should be surprised I haven’t asked you already.”

Eddie looked you up and down, observing your stance as you appeared in his doorway. As usual, Wayne was at his night shift, and this often meant you were going to Eddie’s unless other plans came up. If Eddie didn’t pick you up, you sometimes drove. Sometimes you’d pick up movies for a movie night, or you’d bring your university textbooks, demanding that he help you study. And then sometimes he’d smoke. You never joined in and he never pressured you; you knew that he sold it, you knew he smoked regularly, even before your friendship grew. It wasn’t a world you ever thought negatively of– you could never think negatively about Eddie– but it was simply something you didn’t understand.

Over the past few months, you’d gotten in a habit of spending nights with him, passing out together first on his couch, and more recently onto his bed. And over these months you’d learned his smoking habits, saw how his body would loosen, or how he moved a little slower than his usual fast paced self.

“I guess you have a point,” Eddie spoke after trying to process your question. “So, you want to try weed? Like, I can make you cookies or something if you want?”

“No, no,” you waved, although you smiled sweetly at the idea of him baking, “I want the whole experience. Teach me to roll it up and stuff. I’ve observed you a couple times and think I could figure it out.”

“You want to learn to roll a joint?”

“Yes.”

“And then smoke it after?”

You bounced your leg a bit, “Eddie, can I please just come inside?

His brows shot up momentarily and he stepped aside, “Shit, yeah, of course.”

You shut the door behind you and instantly began pacing his living room. This wasn’t a completely strange action to witness. Eddie was used to your entrances, circling the living room, surrounded by the mugs and hats and then you’d eventually go to flop onto one of the old couches. You’d have long days, frustrated by someone like your parents or your schoolwork. He’d sit and watch you, listening to your ramblings.

He loved watching you talk, opening up to him. For so long he knew you as someone so quiet, and so any of these moments where you let yourself speak unfiltered, he ate it up every time.

Eddie leaned against the kitchen counter, knowing it was coming.

“I just–” You huffed, avoiding eye contact, “I want to try it! I mean, I know it’s illegal, and I could get in a lot of shit, but I’m here with you all the time anyway! I don’t really care at this point. I know people say it’s not really good for you, and I don’t know the level of legitness thehre but you know what, Eddie? Drinking isn’t good for you either! And you’ve seen how people drink. And I’m curious, okay? I want to see how it feels, and maybe understand you a little more? Plus, it’s fun watching you roll the papers up. It seems so satisfying. LIke, I want to learn that too, yunno?”

Eddie blinked, teasingly asking you, “It’s fun watching me roll?”

You felt your cheeks heat, “Yeah, sure, I guess.”

Eddie grinned, pushing away from the counter to take a few strides toward you. Your pacing came to a stop as he stood in front of you, and he placed his hands on your shoulders. He didn’t yet say anything, just stared at your eyes observantly. The deep brown of his eyes scanned yours. “You’re serious?”

“You’ve asked me this way too many times,” your hands closed together, your fingers tapping against each other. “I am sure.”

“But you seem nervous.”

You turned your head, shying away from his eyes. “I’m always like that.”

He hummed, and stepped back. It was confusing to you when he turned around, walking away from you.

He stopped in the hallway, looking over his shoulder. “You comin’?”

“Oh,” you squeaked, taking a moment before your feet got moving.

Following Eddie, you naturally went right for his bed when you entered his room. You sat on the end, your feet kicked out and tapping around as you waited.

“Alright, princess,” Eddie let out a breath as he kneeled down beside his closet, “Let me teach you a couple things. If you’re just so insistent and demanding!”

You grinned, “I’m not.”

“Mhm.” Eddie dug around a drawer you’d seen him open hundreds of times before. He then started muttering to himself, “Little honey wants to learn to smoke and roll the joint? Who would’ve thought?”

“Eddie,” you giggled.

“Eddie, she says. As though I’m the weirdo here, shaking up the weekend already.”

“Shut up,” you fell back on the bed. You were nervous as hell as mentioned before, but there was a bit of giddiness there.

Eddie was chuckling to himself, holding up and shaking a little baggy of the flower at you, and carrying a little box you knew had the papers and stuff in it.

“So,” he opened the box, “If you’re uncomfortable we can stop, okay? If you back out that’s totally okay. Just let me know if you’re okay.”

“I’ll be okay,” you assured with the shake of your head. “You sound so dramatic.”

He raised a brow at you. “I’m dramatic? You show up at my house acting like you’re about to ask me to commit crimes with you or something.”

“Technically–”

“I meant a crime like… I don’t know. A bank heist. Manslaughter.”

“Jeez, Eds–”

He chuckled, shaking his head at you. “Can you pass me that book over there?”

You turned, assuming he meant a book on his nightstand. He just had this hardcover copy of Animal Farm you had to read for a class. That unit was all done and over with now, and you just happened to leave the book there.

You briefly furrowed your brow in confusion. “Do you use this as some sort of… tray?”

“Occasionally,” he admitted when you handed him the book. “Sorry George Orville.”

“Orwell,” you corrected.

“Whatever, nerd,” he teased.

“Nerd!”

Just for a second, he brushed your forearm, a small gesture of closeness. His touches were always small like that, never wanting to push you too far. It had taken a long time for him to make you feel comfortable with him, and he never wanted to ruin it. Even the nights where you’d share his bed, you kept your distance physically.

Only recently had you fallen asleep with your head on his shoulder. It had only happened a few times so far, and it was truly doing something to him.

This had been stewing for quite some time and he knew it, just didn’t want to catch up with it yet. Developing feelings wasn’t something he allowed toward you. You were his friend, and you trusted him. He felt like a weirdo, or some sort of freak, even thinking of just admitting to himself that he thought about you in ways other than platonic. He kept those thoughts pushed away for as long as he could.

But when you fell asleep on his shoulder that first time, and he felt you settle beside him, your hair smelling so sweet, that he knew he couldn’t deny it anymore.

Still, not like he’d ever admit it.

Eddie got out a little strip of the smaller paper you knew he used for the ends, and then he got out the thinner paper.

“Hold this,” he told you, handing you the smaller strip.

“I roll this, right?”

His tongue briefly darted out and he reached for the little metal cylinder thing. You didn’t know what it was called, only that he used it to crush up the nubs. “Yeah, just wait though.”

He opened the metal thing, the grinded weed sitting there prettily.

“What’s that thing called?” You asked, something that youd wondered for a while.

“A grinder.”

“Oh,” you nodded. “Guess that fits.”

He grinned, “You’re sweet.”

“Why—“

Eddie placed his hands over your one holding the paper, fingers grazing it. “So yeah, roll this up, but I like to kind of fold the edges. About twice, like…” he showed your fingers the action, and you nodded in understanding.

You followed his lead and rolled it up. “Then I use that other paper? Wrap it around.”

His eyes briefly met yours, a hint of amusement there. “Exactly.”

You pressed your lips together and looked at your hands. You grabbed the other paper on your own, using your past observations to figure out how to wrap it around the end. It took a bit of fumbling before it felt right enough.

“Perfect,” he said, slightly amazed, “Don’t move. I’ll put the shit in.”

He gently did so, his fingers seeming so thick contrasted to the half assembled joint.

“Roll it a bit, and we can put more in a sec,” he told you as his fingers moved over yours. “Like… yeah, like that.”

You followed his movements even though he was the one mainly in control. The general shape was created and you were feeling quite proud.

He took it away from you jusy enough to touch it up before he held it closer to your face. “Lick.”

You blinked. “What?”

“Lick the edge,” be told, eyes flickering to your mouth. “Gently. We just need to seal it.”

“Lick it…”

He tilted his head just slightly. “Thought you watched me do this like all the time? You should know that licking it is a step.”

Sure, you thought. Of course you knew it was a step. You’d watched the quick move of his tongue darting out to seal the joint.

Although the way he stared at you felt a little intense, you held his hand to steady it, and leaned forward just enough to lick the edge. His eyes were on your mouth, watching the action carefully.

“Good,” he said as almost a whisper, eyes still lowered. “Then we just fill it.”

You made no move to do so. “Right.”

It took a moment for his thoughts to kick in again. He blinked and then went for the grinder. He finished the joint up then presented it to you. “Do the honours of wrapping it!”

“This all sounds so sexual,” you blurted out.

He cleared his throat, clearly not expecting that. “I guess you’re right.”

You twisted the end up and then held it between you two. “How does it look!”

“Shit, honey, maybe I should have you working for me.”

“Hm. I don’t know. You give employee benefits?”

His eyes flickered to yours. “Uh… free weed.”

“Hm. I’m sure if I asked nicely youd give me that anyway.”

“Bold assumption.”

Your mouth parted, shying away from the teasing tone. “Sorry, I—“

“No, no, you’re right. Especially I’d you asked nicely, as you said.”

You held back a smile, willing your confidence to show up. “What would asking nicely entail, exactly?”

He let out a breathy laugh. “Well, you showing up at my door looking all sweet is already a great example. No way I could’ve resisted that.”

“Oh?”

“Mhm. You don’t know the effect you have on me, sweetheart.”

This was the most forward he’d ever been with you. As a normal reaction, you shied away, tearing your eyes from his gaze. He was going to melt you if he kept looking at you like that. You’d do something stupid and you couldn’t afford that.

“Can we share this now?” You asked, gesturing up the joint.

He nodded, just looking at you a moment longer. He then set aside all the supplies on the floor. He scooted backward in the bed, reaching for his nightstand. He had to lean over across the bed, pawing around for a lighter.

With his other hand, he patted the bed. “C’mere.”

You followed, moving against him, your shoulder less than an inch from his. As though on purpose, he resettled himself as he got his lighter, his shoulder pressing closer and against you then.

“Do you know what to do?” He asked.

“Sorta? I breathe it in and hold?”

“Yeah, just don’t overdo it. You’ll cough, okay? Don’t be shy.”

You were about to apologize for some reason, already feeling shy, but he moved before you found the words. Eddie had brought the joint to your lips, the backs of his knuckles touching your skin. With the other hand, he held his lighter.

“Ready, sweetheart?”

“Mhm,” you hummed, watching as the tip of the joint glowed. Not really knowing what to do with yourself, your hand moved to his wrist, steadying him there.

It burned as you suspected, but tasted how you imagined. You could only breathe in a bit before the tickle got to you and you coughed. Eddie moved his hand away, letting you cough it out.

“Okay?” He asked, peering at you carefully.

You nodded, clearing your throat. “More?”

“You sure?”

“Quit asking me that.”

Eddie cracked a smile and brought the joint to your mouth. He let you inhale, and then he brought the joint to his own mouth so he could join in.

You coughed a little again, and he watched curiously. You were doing better than he expected. He could already see the way your shoulders lost their tension. You weren’t quite feeling it intensely but could already understand the effects. The anticipation of it all was exciting.

“Am I doing good?” You asked. The look you gave him was exactly what he thoight about when you’d mentioned ‘asking nicely.’

His heart skipped. “You’re perfect.”

You leaned back against his pillows, looking pleased with yourself.

He took a few hits before passing it back with a questioning brow.

You grabbed the joint from him and continued. There was a back and forth for a while, and he watched you in awe the whole time. He wanted to learn your body’s reactions. You slowly dazed a little more, scanning the posters and tapestries on the walls. Even though you’d seen his room a million times, you felt in awe of the walls in this new light.

“Hey,” he said softly. “Can I show you something

You craned your neck up to look at him. “What?”

Taking you by surprise, Eddie moved to also lie down, his body closer to yours as he faced you. “You’ve heard of shotgunning?”

You shook your head. Normally his closeness would make you shy away, but you held his gaze, accepting the niceness of it all.

“You share the inhale. Like, you blow it in my mouth.”

You felt your heartbeat pickup. He was so close that you only hoped he couldn’t feel it. He hadn’t explicitly asked the question, but you knew that’s what he wanted to do.

You grabbed the joint from his hands. Bravely, you brought it to your mouth. Through your occupied lips you muttered, “Come here.”

You swore his gaze darkened as he watched you inhale.

Eddie look the lead, his palm resting against your cheek. His thumb grazed your bottom lip as his mouth moved closer to yours than you’d ever been.

Your mouth opened for him, and he brushed his lips against yours. After you gave in, you stayed still, in awe of how he breathed you in.

Eddie’s jaw clenched and he stared at you. The chocolate of his eyes boring into yours. “Let me do it now.”

Wordlessly, you nodded. He felt like he was going to lose it when you were the one who brought the joint to his lips. He breathed in, realizing his thumb was still over your own mouth.

Again, he brought you to him, cupping your jaw more steadily than before. The brush of your lips together drove you both wild.

He was slow and warm and you never knew how much you’d needed this.

“Eddie,” you breathed out, eyes fluttering shut.

The softness of your voice, speaking out his name, was the only push he needed.

Eddie closed the distance between you, his mouth relaxing even more so that he could kiss you properly. Lips still slightly parted, you sighed into the kiss. Eddies hand pulled you closer somehow, his mouth pressing more firmly to yours. In a short manner, you felt his tongue flicker against your lip. You opened more for him, and you swore you heard him groan in the back of his throat.

You were still holding the joint, not really knowing what to do with it. When Eddie went to grab your wrist as suggestion for you to wrap around him, he realized you still had it.

“Wait, give me—“ he grabbed it, took a quick inhale before he turned around enough to snuff it out in a crystal ashtray. The glow sizzled out and he was back toward you right away.

Eddie's mouth moved with yours as though he craved you. He did really, and you knew you craved him too. There was no smoke to inhale, only your breaths to share.

You swore you did not come over indented to make out in his bed, but you weren’t complaining either. This was something you knew you wanted for a long time, just you knew you’d make the move.

Eddie’s leg shifted, one sliding jusy over yours and he used his elbow to lift himself up. He hovered slightly over you, his kiss only deepening.

“Eddie,” you breathed out, pulling your neck back jusy a little.

He pulled away from your mouth, sure, but he didn’t pull his mouth from you in other ways. Eddies kisses only moved downward, his hand finding the back of your head so he could tilt it to give him better access to your neck. Along the delicate skin there, Eddie’s kisses were messier and you couldn’t hold back the whimpers as his tongue swiped your skin. When he lightly sucked your neck, your hands tangled in his hair. He kissed and licked and sucked gently before he reached a spot on your throat that had you squirming.

You’d never done anything like this with anyone, let alone your best friend. But there was no way of going back, and you didn’t want to.

“You’re so responsive,” he hummed against your skin. You could just hear his smirk.

“Mhm,” you hummed, fighting back a moan.

“Is this okay?”

“Yes,” you said breathlessly.

Eddie's fingers fiddled with the bottom hem of your shirt. You could feel the cold of his fingers tickle below your navel.

Although it all felt amazing, a doubt still lingered. Between kisses, any moment he let you catch a breath, tou whispered, “You don’t jusy— want me cause I’m high— right?”

Eddie pulled back, looking at your eyes again. He looked soft and sweet. His fingers moved to push some hair behind your head.

“Oh sweetheart,” he grinned, “You have no idea what you do to me.”

#sorry if formatting is weird Idk what I’ve done #eddie munson #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson x y/n #smoking with Eddie #Eddie x innocent!reader #shy!reader #eddie munson x shy!reader #marijuana use #rolling joints with Eddie #ahhhh idk!!’#bestfriend!eddie #I roll really good joints and I will take no criticisms about that #Eddie Munson x reader #eddie munson x gn!reader

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robininthelabyrinth · 8 months

Text

The Other Mountain - ao3 - Chapter 19

Pairing: Lan Qiren/Wen Ruohan

Warning Tags on Ao3

———————————————————————-

Maintain your own discipline.

Be hard on yourself, be easy on others.

Lan Qiren’s foundation had always been his sect rules. They had been his refuge as a child, when he had had such difficulty in connecting with or even understanding his peers or his seniors, and they remained his reliance as an adult, particularly in times of stress. In every step he had taken in his life, the rules had been with him, providing guidance and support – a source of strength, a source of serenity, a source of unshakable stability.

He was not going to let anything, or anyone, take that away from him.

“Xichen, Wangji,” he said once his nephews were both on the ground, keeping his tone as even as possible. Have affection and gratitude. “It is good to see you.”

“They’re safe and wholly intact,” Cangse Sanren said proudly. She’d arrived not long after Wen Ruohan, hopping off her own sword with a brief stutter in her legs that suggested she had been going a little faster than she was entirely comfortable with. “Just as promised. We even got them out of an active war zone! Uh, not that we knew it was going to be a war zone when we were heading there, in my defense. Actually, we were just doing a spot of night-hunting with them – I mean, nothing serious, just a few jiangshi, a couple of small ghosts…”

She looked hopefully at him.

“Thank you for bringing them back to me,” Lan Qiren said politely. Have courtesy and integrity. Be grateful. No improper behavior. “I appreciate your efforts and your care.”

For some reason, Cangse Sanren’s face fell.

“Oh, he is so mad,” she muttered to Wen Ruohan, who had been completely silent since landing, which was unusual for him. He also hadn’t taken his eyes off of Lan Qiren, which…probably meant something? Hopefully not that he was angry that Lan Qiren had demanded that He Zhong help get him released from the cells of the Fire Palace to await his return. “He’s really mad. You didn’t say he was this mad.”

The rules said Do not succumb to rage.

On the other hand, they also said Be genuine and unedited.

“Shufu isn’t mad,” Lan Xichen piped up before Lan Qiren could say anything. “He’s disappointed.”

Lan Qiren shook his head. Do not tell lies.

“No, Xichen,” he said, voice still completely even. Calm. Factual. “This time, I am mad.”

“…oh.”

“Not at you, nor at Wangji,” he clarified. “I am very pleased to see that you are both well, and that you have made it here without coming to harm. I am equally pleased that you have made friends. I regret that I do not have time to properly meet them now. Rooms will be prepared for all the children so that you can go to rest – ”

He paused briefly to allow for interruption, but when Wen Ruohan said nothing, decided to continue. He was being a little presumptuous, both in cutting the introduction so short and in taking on the role of host, which rightfully belonged to Wen Ruohan as the master of the Nightless City. Technically, it belonged to him as well, as Wen Ruohan’s husband, but they hadn’t had to deal with any guests of consequence during the past few months and the subject of hosting duties had never come up.

No matter.

“When you are recovered, I believe there was a suggestion that you would be introduced to Wen Chao, Wen-er-gongzi. Please make every effort to get along with him.”

“Because he is our shumu’s son?” Lan Wangji asked.

Lan Qiren blinked, having for whatever reason not expected his nephews to use such an intimate term of address for Wen Ruohan. It caused the smallest hairline fracture in his composure – no.

Maintain your own discipline. Maintain. Maintain.

If Lan Qiren relaxed his vigilance long enough to have emotions of any sort, positive or negative, he was going to shatter. He was barely holding it together as it was. If he shattered now, he would immediately have a meltdown, and afterwards he would be useless for some time. If that happened, he would not be able to convey the vital information he had obtained, and he had to convey it. Everyone and everything was depending on him.

His nephews, his sect, even his beloved – he was not about to let them down. He wasn’t.

Lan Qiren had already had one fit shortly after learning what he had, and it had greatly impeded his efforts to get out of the Fire Palace and to a place where he could be of actual use. He Zhong had needed to be convinced that giving Lan Qiren time to rest and recover was not the right approach – calling a doctor was out of the question, of course, since providing medical care to someone officially imprisoned in the Fire Palace without first obtaining permission was a surefire way to get in trouble, no matter their rank. Under the circumstances, despite everyone’s general agreement that Wen Ruohan would regret his actions eventually, no one wanted to risk violating protocol in the event of him still being angry when he returned.

Lan Qiren understood, he supposed, but he also found it to be unbelievably inconvenient.

In the end, it had taken him an unconscionably long time to convince He Zhong that enforced rest would be counterproductive, and that he should instead simply provide him with enough cold water to rinse himself properly, a change of clothing from his quarters, and something he could use to brace his ankle, as well as some freedom of movement. It had then taken even longer for He Zhong to actually accomplish those tasks, since a mere guard from the Fire Palace, particularly one who did not have the Wen surname, was not considered especially high ranking.

In the end, He Zhong had only succeeded because he’d happened to think of approaching Shen Mingbi to petition for her assistance, presumably based on her somewhat more cooperative behavior during the wives’ visit to the Fire Palace. Lan Qiren would not have thought that an effective stratagem, given Shen Mingbi’s general antipathy towards him, but it had worked, and according to He Zhong the only price she had set on her assistance was his promise to join her for dinner – which was where he was right now, in fact.

(The whole thing was utterly inexplicable to Lan Qiren. Perhaps she lacked friends?)

The whole thing had taken far too long. The delay had led Lan Qiren into another fit, this time one of panic, generated by all the ghastly things he could imagine were happening in the outside world to everyone he loved at that very moment, but of course that second fit in turn only delayed him still more.

A third delay, at this point, would be both unhelpful and extremely distressing.

“I’ll escort the children to their rooms,” Wei Changze volunteered, giving his wife and Wen Ruohan a meaningful look that escaped Lan Qiren completely. “You should probably go…talk. Good luck.” A brief pause, and then he said to Wen Ruohan, a little diffidently, “It was nice knowing you.”

That was a little odd: Lan Qiren hadn’t been aware that Wei Changze was on such good terms with Wen Ruohan. Perhaps they had had an opportunity to bond during their journey to the Nightless City?

No matter.

Lan Qiren watched the children go for perhaps an additional moment longer than he should have – another hairline fracture in his brutal self-control, this one larger, still unacceptable. As soon as he noticed, he reined himself in at once.

“As I said,” he resumed, “we have much to discuss – ”

“Inside,” Wen Ruohan said abruptly, practically biting off the word. “Now.”

Lan Qiren considered and then nodded. He hadn’t been thinking straight, trying to have a discussion like this out here – the Nightless City was not safe, it was full of potential traitors, like the one who had tricked Wen Ruohan. Far better that they retreat to Wen Ruohan’s study, where privacy arrays could be set up in relatively short order. They could all go there, the two of them and Cangse Sanren, who seemed disinclined to leave and who Lan Qiren knew from experience was very difficult to dissuade once she’d decided to stay; once there, they could have the critical discussion they needed to have.

Oddly enough, Wen Ruohan did not lead the way to his main study.

Instead, he led them to his bedroom, or rather to their bedroom, the one they shared, and once they’d arrived, he snapped, “Sit on the bed,” at Lan Qiren, who frowned disapprovingly at him.

“Now is not the time. There are more important things – ” he started to say, but Wen Ruohan interrupted him once more.

“Sit. Down.”

He was practically growling. Perhaps he was angry that Lan Qiren had left the Fire Palace without permission.

“Maybe you should sit,” Cangse Sanren said, which Lan Qiren had not been expecting. “It won’t delay the conversation, Qiren-gege, I promise. I’ll put up privacy talismans, all right? You sit.”

Lan Qiren reluctantly sat down. He was then surprised all over again – no, not surprised, he couldn’t be surprised, he couldn’t be anything, he couldn’t feel anything, he had to stay composed, he had to tell them – when Wen Ruohan did not sit down next to him, or at the desk, or anywhere reasonable, but instead lowered himself down onto the floor next to the bed.

It wasn’t until Wen Ruohan reached out with surprisingly gentle hands to take his injured ankle into his lap and started unwrapping the hastily patched-together brace that Lan Qiren realized what was going on.

“I do not require medical assistance,” he said impatiently. “I have to tell you – I found – there is – ”

To his horror, Lan Qiren found his voice cracking as he tried to put into words what he had discovered.

No, he thought frantically, no, not now. I will not succumb now. I will not fail them.

I will not!

He forced himself back to steadiness, taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly. Wen Ruohan was watching him with a dark expression on his face, stormy, almost malevolent. It was as if he were angry, though the anger was not quite the same as any Lan Qiren had seen on him before. It did not seem to be directed at Lan Qiren, though he couldn’t imagine who else might be the subject of it at the moment.

No matter.

At a minimum, Wen Ruohan’s rage did not slow the steady and sure movement of his hands in treating Lan Qiren’s ankle, nor diminish the quality of his medical skills, and most importantly it did not seem to be impeding his willingness to listen to what Lan Qiren had to say. That was what mattered. He was here, he was listening, and Lan Qiren could tell him what he needed to know.

Now Lan Qiren just needed – he needed to actually say it.

After a moment, Lan Qiren cleared his throat and started again. “Cangse Sanren, you mentioned that you were going to go explore rumored hauntings in a mine in the vicinity of Xixiang, did you not?”

“I did,” Cangse Sanren confirmed, looking puzzled. Presumably she had not thought that he was going to start there. “It’s definitely haunted. Fixing it is…still an ongoing project, let’s say. We passed by it on the way here. Why? Is it important?”

“Immensely so,” Lan Qiren admitted, and felt bile rise up in the back of his throat the way it had been doing on a regular basis since he had realized what must have happened. That someone in his Gusu Lan sect, his sect that so prided itself on virtue and righteousness, had gotten involved in such a vile and disgusting thing, carelessly pursuing greed, closing their eyes to the evil they themselves were causing, and that evil compounding to such a degree that it was now causing hauntings, in direct violation to their duties as cultivators – it was almost unspeakable, particularly for someone like Lan Qiren, who loved his sect and his sect’s rules as much as he did. He felt nauseated every time he thought of it. “I believe…I have recently discovered some information that gives me reason to believe that what happened in that mine has something to do with – ”

With my brother’s madness.

“– with my Gusu Lan sect,” he concluded, finding himself unable to say the words directly. “Or, rather, with someone in my Gusu Lan sect.”

“Gusu Lan?” Wen Ruohan said, his voice sharp. “You’re thinking of Gusu Lan right now?”

“That makes sense, actually,” Cangse Sanren said, only a beat later. “That explains why the ghosts there bear a grudge against the Gusu Lan bloodline.”

“They what?” Wen Ruohan twisted to scowl at her. “You never mentioned that to me.”

“It didn’t seem like a you problem. It’s Lan Qiren’s family, not yours.”

“He is my – ” Wen Ruohan cut himself off, somewhat uncharacteristically. His scowl did not abate. “That would have been useful information. I would have expected you to share it."

“I don’t actually work for you, remember? Anyway, I didn't want to go into my theories about the massacre around the children, so I thought - Qiren! Are you all right?"

Lan Qiren's vision had temporarily gone hazy, with black spots around the edges as he fought down a wave of intense nausea, the burning bile in the back of his throat changing to something fishy and metallic. He’d known that there were hauntings there, but he had not realized, had not fully accepted, had not let himself think of what that might mean; he had hoped, he supposed, that it was just a matter of resentment accumulating, of evil acts drawing down their just rewards. But ghosts with a bloodline grudge – that meant that they blamed his sect, his family, for their unjust deaths. Add to that what Cangse Sanren had said regarding there being evidence of a massacre...

There could really only be one conclusion. A massacre at a mine owned in the name of Gusu Lan, a massacre which had left behind ghosts hungry for vengeance against Gusu Lan – yes, there could be only one reason for that.

Someone had done this.

Someone had done this in his sect’s name.

Someone had taken cultivators from their homes, likely entire families, and forced them to work in their mines in order to extract valuable ore while eking out a profit. Someone had then killed those people, though whether it was related to the work itself or as part of some sort of cover-up remained to be discovered. That didn’t change the fact that it had happened, and happened because of Gusu Lan.

Whoever had done this, anyone that had even contributed to this, anyone in his sect who was involved in it in any way, they all had to be punished. They had to be, due punishment and due justice, or else – or else what was the point –

Wen Ruohan abruptly rose up onto his knees and slammed his palm straight into Lan Qiren’s midsection, knocking all the air right out of him. Lan Qiren was taken completely by surprise, unable to put up any defense or resistance; he had no choice but to simply take the blow, spitting out the mouthful of blood that had already pooled in his mouth, and then brace himself for the pain –

There wasn’t any pain.

He blinked, and looked down.

Wen Ruohan’s palm was pressed firmly against his lower abdomen, right over his dantian, and he was transferring him spiritual energy. Though perhaps transferring was the wrong word: it was if he had merely opened the floodgates and was simply pouring his power into Lan Qiren directly, the spiritual energy filling him up as if he were a too-small container, the pulsing warmth of Wen Ruohan’s yang-based cultivation style heating Lan Qiren’s blood as it did, warming him from the top of his head to the tips of his toes.

He hadn’t even realized he’d been so cold.

“Congratulations,” Wen Ruohan said, voice immensely flat. He was angry once more. “You just came within a hair’s breadth of a qi deviation. Genuinely, this time. Never do that again.”

Lan Qiren felt embarrassed. The warmth of Wen Ruohan’s power was rapidly clearing his head, allowing some space for something other than panic and mortification and despair.

He took another deep breath, this time using it to circulate his own spiritual energy in a cleansing, spirit-settling routine, and when he finally felt calm enough to continue, shook his head.

“Forgive me. I will try to control myself better in the future,” he said, and did not understand why both Wen Ruohan and Cangse Sanren scowled at him as if he had said something wrong. “It is not important at the moment – ”

“Not important –!” “How can you say –?!”

“It is not,” Lan Qiren stressed. “The matter of the mine is of utmost importance, and not merely as a historical note or part of the resolution of an ongoing night-hunt. I believe that it can explain the way my brother has been behaving.”

“Your brother?” Wen Ruohan said, sounding surprised. “Do you even know what your brother is currently doing? He’s trying to destroy my sect.”

Lan Qiren winced.

“Don’t listen to him, he’s exaggerating,” Cangse Sanren said at once.

“Exaggerating?! He’s set me up as having started an insane war against the entire world, he’s gotten the other Great Sects to take up arms against me – ”

“And now that you’re not there, they won’t have an excuse to do anything,” she said tartly. “You’ll go back with the rest of your army, claim it was nothing but a mistake, and scare them all into agreeing to a ceasefire. You might take a loss, to be sure, and it might be embarrassing, but Qingheng-jun would have to be dreaming if he thought that something like this would be enough to destroy either you or your sect.”

“I agree,” Lan Qiren said quietly. “I am afraid that the impact on the Wen sect is only incidental to my brother’s real intention.”

They both stared at him. After a moment, Wen Ruohan pulled his hand away and rose to sit on the bed beside Lan Qiren, while Cangse Sanren pulled up a stool and sat in front of him.

“Let’s do this chronologically, the way we would when solving a night-hunt,” she said firmly, and Wen Ruohan inclined his head in silent agreement with her approach. “All right, Qiren, tell me: what happened with the mine? Ten years ago was around the start of your brother’s seclusion, and what happened with the mine must have happened a little bit before that. Was he involved?”

“Not that I know of. But He Kexin was.” He shut his eyes for a moment. The context was necessary, he knew, but he had spent so long keeping his sect’s secrets, his brother’s secrets, that it still felt like a betrayal when he haltingly explained: “She was his wife. She was a rogue cultivator, or said she was, and while he was still courting her, she – she went inside the Cloud Recesses and murdered one of our sect elders. One of our teachers. The evidence was clearly against her, but there was never any trial.”

He swallowed.

“Rather than let her face justice and be executed, my brother married her, and they both entered seclusion as penance. Permanent seclusion, particularly for her.”

Neither Wen Ruohan nor Cangse Sanren said anything. Lan Qiren was grateful.

“She died recently,” he continued. His lips and tongue felt strangely numb, reciting the facts of it as if he were a junior disciple reporting on a night-hunt, telling the tales of other people’s tragedies. Only this time, the tragedy was his own. “It was by her own hand; I was the one who found her body. That was the inciting incident that led my brother to return to the world.”

“You think there was something suspicious about her death?” Cangse Sanren asked, her hands folded together in her lap, her too-sharp fingernails vivid against the backs of her hands, her thumbs rubbing together as she listened. “That maybe it wasn’t suicide?”

“No, I was her sole connection to the outside world, it couldn’t have been anything else. Her sword was beside her, still wet with –” He broke off, unable to complete the sentence; he instead resumed at a different point. “At any rate, there was no indication from her that such an action was coming, in terms of depression or otherwise. It only recently occurred to me that she could have been incited to do it, goaded into it or even forced into it, perhaps through a letter containing threats or something of the sort. Anyway, it does not matter what actually happened. What matters is what my brother believes happened, and who he blames for it. And…what he intends to do to the ones he blames.”

“Annihilation,” Wen Ruohan said, his voice uncharacteristically soft and distant. He was staring off into space, seemingly consumed by some ancient memory. “Complete destruction, without mercy or regret. A broken-hearted Lan on the path of just revenge will not rest until they have obliterated the cause of their grief.”

As I would for you, if it were you, Lan Qiren thought painfully. Though you would not believe me.

“I have no direct evidence for it, but my intuition tells me that it is all somehow related to what happened in that mine,” he said, focusing on the current situation. “He Kexin’s death…in fact, I have even started to wonder whether the murder she committed, or perhaps more correctly was accused of committing, if that could somehow also be related to the crimes being perpetrated at the mine. I was not present at the time – I had gone away on business for the sect, some ridiculous negotiation or something; I don’t remember exactly what. It was all over by the time I returned, and the result of that whole affair was a matter that caused me great pain, so I never sought out or learned the details. That is my failing. But it seems to me that my brother’s plans all center around the area near the Xixiang mine: Quanjiao, Jiujiang…”

“Yuexi as well,” Wen Ruohan supplied grimly, nodding. “I was the one who suggested that we reach an agreement for support in a war of conquest, but Qingheng-jun was the one who suggested Quanjiao Liu as his target. Given the natural land formations in the area and where the Quanjiao Liu sect resides, when the Lan sect forces come down from Gusu, they will be the first to reach Xixiang. It’s a natural resting point on the way.”

Lan Qiren nodded. “And once there…”

“Wait, wait, how would this all work?” Cangse Sanren asked, looking between the two of them. “According to what Qiren has said, Quanjiao Liu isn’t the sect that was implicated in the mine, or in He Kexin’s eventual death as a consequence of it; Gusu Lan is. Qingheng-jun is Gusu Lan’s sect leader. Even if he wanted to revenge himself on those involved with the mine, he doesn’t need to go to such lengths! Can’t he just order the execution of whoever it was that did it?”

“That assumes he blames only the individuals involved,” Wen Ruohan said. “If I were in that situation, I would hardly limit myself to that. I can see the argument now: Gusu Lan speaks of virtue in the day yet acts corruptly in the dark, condemns his wife for the crimes she committed but permits those that put her into the situation to get away cleanly – the situation they put her and him into, since as a devoted lover and a Lan he would feel he had no choice but to rescue his love even at such a high cost. And yet, not satisfied with permitting the one great injustice, they came once more, this time to violate their peaceful seclusion and rob his beloved not only of her freedom but now even of her very life…” He shook his head. “Hypocrisy is always the more bitter when it comes from those that you hold in high esteem.”

Lan Qiren bowed his head. That was also the conclusion he had reached.

His brother not only wanted him dead, whether because he had been the leader of the sect in all those years yet never remedied their fault or for other reasons of his own, but had aimed his ire against their sect – and not merely the wrongdoers, which would have been understandable, but against the entirety of their sect.

Their Gusu Lan sect.

His Gusu Lan sect.

“That all seems rather extreme,” Cangse Sanren objected. “To blame his own sect…to seek to harm his own sect…!”

“Ten years is a great deal of time to be alone and stewing upon all your wrongs. Madness and heartbreak can lead a man to contemplate acts of great cruelty.” Wen Ruohan’s lips curled up, though he wasn’t really smiling. “Trust me.”

Lan Qiren’s heart throbbed in his chest. He did. No one else might, and he might be a fool for doing so, yet another madman in love, but he did. He trusted Wen Ruohan, even though his body still bore the marks of Wen Ruohan’s distrust of him.

Cangse Sanren scowled again. “I understand what you mean, but still…”

“I agree with Lan Qiren,” Wen Ruohan overrode Cangse Sanren easily. “Qingheng-jun’s war strategy makes little sense if he were not trying to cause harm to the Lan sect. He deliberately released information to the local sects to initiate a war that would draw the attention of the entire cultivation world – even putting aside the fact that I will accuse him of slander and trickery, it would be remarkably foolish for him to kick up a fuss in that precise area, especially right after there were rumors of hauntings, if he did not intend for the world to uncover what is there. It does not seem to matter overmuch to him that such a revelation would be a tremendous loss of face for Gusu Lan.”

That struck a chord in Lan Qiren’s memory.

“That is not the only time,” he murmured. “Much of his behavior recently has been – foolish, if you think of it from the perspective of someone who should be guarding the best interests of the Gusu Lan sect. So many of the things he has done have risked losing face for the sect. Marrying me out, not warning the sect about what he did, accusing me in public of taking his children…”

Wen Ruohan made a strangled noise deep in the back of his throat.

“That damn Wang Liu,” he spat out when they looked askance at him. His hands had tightened into fists, and he was glaring into the air, his gaze murderous. “He was the spy that – he was a traitor in my ranks, seemingly spying for me on Gusu Lan but in fact spying on me. Probably for Lanling Jin, though I believe now on behalf of Qingheng-jun.”

He was the one that had tricked Wen Ruohan into believing the worst about Lan Qiren, Lan Qiren assumed, and presumably also the one who had gotten Wen Ruohan to go to Jiujiang to set off the trap his brother had laid for him. One of Wen Ruohan’s own spies…yes, that tracked; they were the ones Wen Ruohan trusted the most. It seemed almost unbelievable that his brother would destroy such a valuable asset just to set up this trap, particularly given that Wen Ruohan seemed to have slipped out of the worst part of it with relative ease.

No, it was unbelievable. Lan Qiren’s brother was not a fool, except perhaps when it came to love. If he had done something, there was a reason – they just hadn’t figured out what that reason was yet.

“I was particularly reminded just now of a fact that appears in retrospect to be very unusual,” Wen Ruohan said. “At the Lotus Pier, during the discussion conference, it was Wang Liu who first informed me that the Lan sect heirs could not be found in the Cloud Recesses.”

Lan Qiren’s head jerked up.

“Are you saying he gave Xichen and Wangji to you deliberately? To you?” he exclaimed. “It is one thing to send me here, accepting or perhaps even hoping that I would end my days in your Fire Palace, but those are his sons – not only his sons, but the sect heirs! The next generation!”

Wen Ruohan’s face had spasmed as Lan Qiren spoke, and he looked down at his still-clenched fists with a grimace, looking as though he’d bitten into something bitter.

“Uh, Qiren-gege,” Cangse Sanren said, sounding amused. “You asked me to bring them here, too, remember? Anyway, I hate to poke a hole in the excellent theory the two of you are drawing up, but you’ve forgotten one thing: your brother is still Gusu Lan’s sect leader. If he really wanted to obliterate the sect, he has any number of far easier options he could take – I mean, just in terms of pure practicality, he could just poison your water source, couldn’t he?”

Lan Qiren scowled at her. “Thank you for that gruesome image, Cangse Sanren.”

The thought of everyone he loved choking to death, faces gone purple and foam on their lips – the bodies falling where they lay along the serene paths of the Cloud Recesses – no one left to bury the bodies, drawing in flies as the rot set in – the beauty of the place forever marred –

Cangse Sanren winced, looking embarrassed and, for once, a little ashamed of herself. ��Yes, well, you know. Always a pleasure to trouble you, Qiren-gege.”

“Water source,” Wen Ruohan suddenly said. He was staring out into space again. “Water source. Redirection. The enhancement arrays!”

Lan Qiren frowned at him, not understanding. “Arrays? What are you talking about?”

He reached up to stroke his beard.

Cangse Sanren gave him a sharp look, and he abruptly remembered that he had been hiding that hand on purpose – it was the one missing the two smallest nails. He glanced at Wen Ruohan, who was still distracted by whatever revelation he was having, carefully completed the action to avoid drawing his attention, then tucked his hand back into his sleeve, giving Cangse Sanren a pointed look that encouraged her to disregard what she had noticed.

“I snuck Sect Leader Wen out of Jiujiang through the furthest tunnels left by the mine,” Cangse Sanren explained, clearly deciding not to ask any questions for the time being, though the set of her jaw suggested she was definitely going to bring it up again later on. “Spiritual iron, you know how it is; the tunnels go on for quite a while. While we were passing through, he noticed that some of the arrays in the mine weren’t suppression arrays – wait, did I mention the suppression arrays? The whole mine was full of them.”

Lan Qiren grimaced. Enough arrays to constitute a mine “full” of them suggested that it was more than merely a single person involved on the part of Gusu Lan, led by someone quite high-ranking.

Probably a sect elder, though he hadn’t had the time or resources to figure out who. No one else would have been able to get away with using the name of the sect rather than their own in purchasing the mine. Certainly no one else would have been able to conceal such a big matter from Lan Qiren when he had had the role of sect leader, and yet conceal it they had…

“Anyway, on top of the suppression arrays, all of which were at least ten years old, there were apparently a bunch of new arrays, these ones only a few months old at most. Sect Leader Wen said that they were enhancement arrays, the sort that you use to set up gate wards so that you can direct them from the inside, and…uh…something about water? For damming rivers?”

“Redirection arrays,” Wen Ruohan corrected her. He looked somewhere between appalled and begrudgingly impressed, which meant whatever he’d figured out was probably an utter atrocity on a scale that Lan Qiren could scarcely begin to contemplate – he had that sort of personality. “You use them for redirecting rivers, particularly when there’s a risk of flood, or when you’re trying to build up a dam. They’re exceptionally effective, if very much a blunt instrument, with no flexibility. However, you would never use them in a mine.”

Lan Qiren didn’t understand.

Judging from her face, neither did Cangse Sanren.

“There’s a reservoir not far from the mountain with the mine?” she offered. “Is that relevant?”

The expression on Wen Ruohan’s face shifted a little bit further towards “begrudgingly impressed.”

“Whatever the plan is, it is apparently even more unconscionable than we’d previously imagined,” Lan Qiren observed, suddenly and rather inappropriately touched by that dreadful feeling of mixed chagrin and fondness that he had developed when faced with Wen Ruohan’s ridiculousness. He brutally suppressed the feeling at once: even if it were not horribly inappropriate given the serious subject of their conversation, he suspected that Wen Ruohan would not be open to receiving any indications of his regard at the moment. If his reasoning regarding the motivation behind Wen Ruohan’s reaction was correct, his feelings were likely to be a sensitive subject. “I assume these redirection arrays are going to be used for something other than their intended purpose? Why would they not be used in a mine?”

Wen Ruohan’s lips twitched. “Consider the power required to redirect or dam up a river – to take all of that force of rushing water and change the direction in which it flows. Now imagine instead that you apply that force and power to the earth, which is far less flexible than water. Earth will not flow. It will break.”

“Uh-huh,” Cangse Sanren said. “So, what happens next? An earthquake or something?”

She paused, her lazy expression freezing and shifting into horror as she absorbed the implications of what she had just said. Lan Qiren was right there alongside her.

The mental image coming to mind was as bad as the one he’d had about the poison.

“An earthquake,” Wen Ruohan confirmed with macabre relish. “Even merely painting the new arrays will have knocked some of the original suppression arrays loose. Initial activation of the new arrays, filling them up with power to make them ready to use, would knock all the old ones down, dismantling them all in a single sweep, every single one of those arrays lined up along all those unstable tunnels. Full activation would try to twist those tunnels as if they were a riverbed – the whole mountain would start to tear in two, creating avalanches and landslides, churning up mud and rocks like water in the rapids, sending them down upon the local populace like the sudden onset of a flood. Add to that the presence of a reservoir, and you don’t just have a local catastrophe, but one capable of tainting the water for the entire area all around…!” He shook his head. “Nature itself would have trouble conceiving of a more calamitous disaster.”

“But why?” Lan Qiren cried out, trying to stand up – unsuccessfully, as Wen Ruohan caught him by the shoulders and Cangse Sanren reached out to press down on his knees, both of them holding him down. “Why would he do such a thing? Why – those are innocent lives in the valley! They’re not even cultivators! They have nothing to do with He Kexin, nothing to do with Gusu Lan – why would he harm them?”

“He’s mad. What other reason does he need?” was Wen Ruohan’s cynical answer.

“Ghosts,” Cangse Sanren said.

“…that is not a traditional reason for murder,” Wen Ruohan said, voice droll. “Rather the opposite; it’s usually more of a consequence. Ghosts?”

“No, not that, ghosts. The ghosts.” Cangse Sanren pulled back her hands and pressed the heels of both palms against her eyes as if it would help her think better. “The ghosts in the mine! They have a grudge against the Lan bloodline!”

“So you mentioned,” Lan Qiren said, feeling sick all over again. Who even knew how many were there? And all of them aimed at his sect, at his family, and with justice on their side, which automatically weakened the spells his Lan sect would use against them, stripping his kinsmen of their defenses without their knowing… “We all know what such a thing must signify, of course – ”

Cangse Sanren waved her hands in front of him, forcing him into silence, and leaped to her feet, starting to pace frantically, incoherently mumbling to herself at top speed as she worked out whatever idea she’d gotten.

(“Why does she get to pace and I don’t?” Lan Qiren asked Wen Ruohan, only half-serious.

“Shut up,” Wen Ruohan said.

“It seems unfair – ”

“People who nearly suffered qi deviation do not get a say.”)

Finally Cangse Sanren came to a halt, turning to look down at them both.

“Maybe you’re right,” she said. “Both of you, maybe you’re right. Maybe Qingheng-jun, that jerk, really does want to destroy Gusu Lan. Madness is as madness does, after all. But let’s take Sect Leader Wen as an example: being cruel or being mad doesn’t mean you don’t enjoy being in power, right?”

“Power is very nice, yes,” Wen Ruohan said, voice extremely dry.

She ignored him. “For Qingheng-jun, destroying Gusu Lan means destroying his own power base, just when he’d finally gotten it back. Isn’t that a pity? Isn’t that a waste?”

“If he is intent on revenge, he may not care for such considerations,” Lan Qiren pointed out.

“That’s true. But what if he did?What if there was a way to achieve both goals: to destroy the sect but still keep his power?”

“How?” Lan Qiren asked.

She pointed at his face, apparently uncaring of how extremely rude such a gesture was. “You nearly had a qi deviation just now, Qiren-gege,” she said. “Why? What were you thinking?”

Lan Qiren blinked, having not expected the question.

“I – I was thinking of justice,” he said, and shrugged helplessly. “Only that my sect must find whoever from Gusu Lan was involved in the tragedy at the mine and punish them. We must. Or else…I mean…what would be the point? Our rules are clear. They say – ”

Cangse Sanren held up her hand again, once more calling for silence.

“That’s it,” she announced. “That’s how you do it.”

Lan Qiren stared at her blankly.

“I understand,” Wen Ruohan said, which was good because Lan Qiren most certainly did not. He was frowning again. “Qingheng-jun does intend to obliterate Gusu Lan, only his intention is not to do so through the loss of its reputation or the rampant murder of its disciples. He intends to destroy its heart.”

“Its heart?” Lan Qiren asked.

Wen Ruohan’s eyes flickered over to him. He pressed his lips together tightly, his jaw working; he did not answer the question.

“The rules, Lan Qiren,” Cangse Sanren said, her voice as gentle as it ever got. “Your Lan sect rules.”

Lan Qiren opened his mouth, but nothing came out.

“We’re all orthodox cultivators, but your family rules are what makes your Gusu Lan sect unique,” she continued. “That’s what makes you you. And you, you of all Lan, are the exemplar of what it means to be devoted to those rules, the quintessential example of what it means to be a Lan of Gusu Lan.”

Maybe that’s why he hates you so much, she meant, and Lan Qiren – understood.

Now it was his turn to clench his hands into fists.

“I see,” he said, striving for calm – and getting it, but only because Wen Ruohan reached for his wrist and started transferring spiritual energy to him once more without saying a word. “I see. But I do not understand. The rules…the rules are merely principles. Even if our Wall of Discipline was destroyed, even if all of our most precious books were burned, the rules would still exist as long as there was someone left upon the earth that remembered them. How could he destroy them?”

“That’s the really nasty bit,” Cangse Sanren said, as if a plot that involved deliberately causing an earthquake had not yet reached the pinnacle of its evil. “The ghosts in the mine, and their bloodline grudge: that’s how it’ll happen. Initial activation to damage the suppression arrays, full activation to cause a landslide…”

She shook her head.

“I’m going out of order. Take a step back: look at it how an outsider would. Gusu Lan starts a war of conquest – sure, they try to blame Qishan Wen for it at first, but eventually the truth comes out, they were the ones that started it. They arrive in full force in Xixiang, a natural resting point. While they’re there, some ghosts start attacking them. That part’s not hard, the ones that already escaped from the suppression arrays won’t be able to resist the presence of that much Lan blood; they’ll be driven by their bloodline grudge to attack at once. Naturally, like any good cultivators, the Lan sect will respond at once to the presence of evil, initiating a counterattack.”

Lan Qiren nodded, following along.

“Only then, by apparent coincidence, something goes wrong. A minor earthquake, or so it seems. The suppression arrays, which they don’t know exist, are destroyed. Suddenly, for no reason they know of, all the ghosts get loose. All the ghosts attack. The Lan are taken by surprise by an offensive force far beyond their expectations, one that bears a grudge against them specifically. They have no choice but to counterattack with bigger moves, formations, arrays…”

“And then a major earthquake hits, seemingly in response to their actions.” Lan Qiren squeezed his eyes shut as hard as he could, causing himself pain in his temples. “The effects are devastating: destruction of human life in the local vicinity, death and misery in countless number, and on top of that the poisoning of the reservoir, promising years of hardship for all those that survive…it would seem as if it were their fault. They would think it was their fault.”

“What’s the point, otherwise?” Cangse Sanren echoed his earlier words. “Without justice, without honor, what’s the point of having all those rules? What’s the point of all that restriction and restraint, all those instructions designed to show you how to be righteous and virtuous, to show you how to be a good person, if in the end you still cause such atrocities with your own two hands…?”

Lan Qiren wanted to throw up.

It was – it was unthinkable. The guilt his Lan sect disciples would feel at what they thought they’d caused, the blame – and then, if his brother chose that moment, that moment, to reveal the truth of what had happened in the mine, to place the blame even more firmly on the corruption he believed underlaid the principles of Gusu Lan…

How had his brother put it, back in the Lotus Pier, when he had been enraged beyond reason, hurling accusations at Lan Qiren? Shameless and spoiled, he’d called him. Your so-inflexible righteousness scarcely hiding the rot of your hypocrisy…

Lan Qiren had had nearly three meltdowns simply after having found out about what some rotten apple in his sect had done in his sect’s name, and he had the assurance of knowing that he was not personally complicit in that crime. If he had thought that he was complicit, that he had contributed to it – he wasn’t sure he’d be able to live with himself.

The lonely mountains amidst the clouds, the mellow lake with the sweet calls of birds, that beautiful scenery of Gusu. Who could lay eyes upon such a scene and retain their serenity if they believed that their sins had split stone and poisoned water? Which among them would ever be able to go home again?

“It’s really very clever,” Wen Ruohan remarked. “The Lan sect would be decimated. Those who are like Lan Qiren here would likely die rather than give up on their rules or internal sense of order, and it doesn’t really matter whether they’d die directly through the shock of qi deviation or merely through suicide. But most of the rest of them would survive, broken-hearted and numb, and in so doing they would be the perfect captive audience for a charismatic sect leader. Pair that with a timely ‘discovery’ of what happened in the mine, which he could use as an excuse to execute any of the sect elders that do not stand with him, whether they were involved or not, and then there’s no one left to stop him. Unencumbered by the past or any restraint, Qingheng-jun would then be free to lead the whole Lan sect into a brand-new era, shaping them all in his own image and to his own liking…no, it really is very clever.”

He chuckled to himself, not noticing the appalled expression Cangse Sanren sent his way.

“You know what’s really well done? He even accounted for the fact that such a decimation would weaken his sect’s strength,” he said, waving a hand as he sketched it out. “This whole war business, getting me trapped in Jiujiang, setting me up…I’d wondered why he would be willing to burn such a valuable spy for a plan that wouldn’t work to destroy me, but this? This makes it all make sense. If everything had worked the way he planned, it might have been worth it. If I hadn’t been able to retreat through the mine, if I’d had no other choice but to start the war in reality, if I’d gone ahead and attacked the other sects to use their defenses as my own –”

Wait, had he really been considering that as an option?!

No, wait, he was Wen Ruohan. Of course he had. If anything, it was more a surprise that he’d refrained.

“ – if I’d done that, acted the way I always act, the way everyone expects me to act, then the other Great Sects wouldn’t have been able to pull back without killing me, or at least making a solid effort at doing so. A war between us at this stage would have no real victors. Whether or not the other sects did manage to take me down, it would have caused significant casualties on all sides. And then all five of the Great Sects would be weakened at once – the Lan through internal devastation, the others through war – so no one is left to take advantage of Gusu Lan’s weakness. Clever! Very clever. Very, very clever.”

“Are you finding this funny?” Cangse Sanren asked, then turned to Lan Qiren. “Is he finding this funny?”

Her tone suggested that she had more questions about Lan Qiren’s taste than anything else.

Lan Qiren had been asking himself the very same question. Unfortunately the answer seemed to be that it was a little like watching a cat enthusiastically batting at a toy mouse, rolling around in ecstatic murderous bliss – horrifying in its implication, watching a creature relishing its own potential cruelty to another living being, but somehow in its own way also strangely endearing.

He shrugged apologetically at her. As long as Wen Ruohan wasn’t getting any ideas of his own from this debacle…

“I have always appreciated art,” Wen Ruohan said haughtily, finally noticing their expressions. “Even when I am its target. Regardless of its vile aims, you must admit that the plan is skillfully made.”

“Well, I’d hope so, given that Qingheng-jun seems to have spent quite a few years of his seclusion doing little else but thinking of it.” Cangse Sanren rolled her eyes and tossed herself back onto her stool. “All right. Enough speculation. Even if this isn’t his plan, the potential consequences of us being right about it are so dire that we have no choice but to act as if it is. So the next question is, how do we stop it?”

“Our priority must be to prevent the disaster,” Lan Qiren said at once. “Even putting aside the psychological impact on my Gusu Lan sect, the loss of innocent life alone is unthinkable, and one cannot stop a landslide once it has begun. Preserving innocent lives must always come first.”

“That’s easier said than done, though,” Wen Ruohan pointed out. “Enhancement arrays are used to set up gate wards for good reason: the core array could be located anywhere, and only by stopping the core array will you be able to guarantee that it will not go off. Otherwise, the only way to stop the disaster is to dismantle each of the enhancement arrays individually, which is an extremely time-consuming process for most people.”

Cangse Sanren rolled her eyes. “Not for you, I assume.”

“What can I say? I am exceptionally powerful and exceedingly talented…though admittedly that many arrays would take quite a bit of time even for me. Anyway, my point is, we can’t just go around trying to break a bunch of arrays in the middle of a war zone. We would be set upon at once. The disaster cannot be our priority; stopping the war must take precedence.”

“Don’t forget the ghosts,” Cangse Sanren said with a frown. “If it’s a massacre of cultivators, especially the types of cultivators that are rogue cultivators or from small sects without soul-calming treasures or rituals, that means there are a lot of ghosts, and powerful ghosts, too. Even if we managed to stop the impending natural disaster, those ghosts being released would be a calamity in and of itself – and we’re all cultivators, aren’t we? Fighting evil takes precedence even over war.”

“Not if the war is itself perceived as fighting evil,” Wen Ruohan objected. “It’s not as if we’re still talking about a war of conquest here. And let us not forget, my Wen sect’s army is still there. Without my presence, they can stir up confusion and buy time, but eventually they will be overrun and taken prisoner, and I will have to buy them back at great cost.”

“That’s not the priority.”

“It is a priority,” Lan Qiren interjected, voice firm. “The Wen sect cultivators are innocent lives as well, Cangse Sanren. It is not their fault that my brother has decided to use them as a pawn in his strategy.”

She shrugged carelessly. “No, but it’s not the fault of those small sects in the area either, is it? They’re all probably burning through their family treasures at this very instant, trying to defend themselves from the Wen sect and its very deserved reputation – and it’ll be much worse when the other Great Sects get there. It always is, for the small sects. We have to move fast.”

“There’s a limit to how fast we can go. I can and will summon the rest of my army, but gathering and moving them will take some time.”

“We may not have the time. How long before the Lan sect forces reach Xixiang and trigger the first step in the trap…? They may be there already, even as we speak.” Lan Qiren shook his head, putting it all together in his head. There was only one solution he could devise to their situation, but Wen Ruohan and Cangse Sanren were not going to like it…

No matter.

He would convince them. He had to.

“The real issue here is not any one of the ones we have identified,” he said, “but rather the combination of all of them. It is that interconnectivity that makes my brother’s plan so difficult to oppose: we have too many problems to face, each of them equally important. We are all right, and all wrong – there is no precedence here, no order or hierarchy that can be established.”

He paused briefly.

“That means that the appropriate solution is – ”

“Absolutely not.”

Lan Qiren sighed as Wen Ruohan sat up straight and glared balefully at him. He had expected this.

Cangse Sanren looked between the two of them, and scowled. “What is it? What’s his suggestion?”

“He is suggesting that we split our forces,” Wen Ruohan spat out.

She blinked. “That seems…reasonable enough? When you’ve got both multiple problems and multiple problem-solvers…?”

“Oh yes, it’s very reasonable,” Wen Ruohan said. “Extremely reasonable. So reasonable, in fact, that there is no reason not to make the suggestion straightforwardly – and even someone as pedantic as our Lan Qiren does not talk in circles for no reason. Which means that there is a reason, and the reason is that he thinks that we’re going to dislike the split he is going to propose. And that means…”

“Lan Qiren,” Cangse Sanren exclaimed. “You cannot possibly be thinking of going somewhere by yourself!”

“It is the only logical conclusion,” Lan Qiren said firmly. “Between the two of you, you can sort out the main problems we are facing: the war, the arrays, the disaster, the ghosts. That leaves us with only one problem that you have not yet accounted for. The problem that lies behind all the others.”

“…your brother.”

“My brother,” Lan Qiren agreed.

They sat there in silence for a little while, Lan Qiren mentally going over his arguments as Wen Ruohan and Cangse Sanren both visibly seethed.

“I see your logic,” Cangse Sanren finally said, the words bitten out through her teeth. “He hates you, doesn’t he? I haven’t seen that much of it directly myself, only what I’ve heard and pieced together, but that type of hatred – that’s irrational. That’s what you’re going for, isn’t it?”

“It is irrational,” Wen Ruohan confirmed, though his lips were twisted into a grimace. “Qingheng-jun’s actions against Lan Qiren specifically have consistently gone beyond what might be expected from a sane man, much less as part of a strategic plot. I relied upon that tendency of his myself when I negotiated our marriage, and again later on; it appears to be as reliable as the sunrise. I agree that it is unquestionable that if there is anyone he will deviate from his plan for, it is Lan Qiren.”

Good. “Then you see – ”

“That does not mean that I agree that you should go confront him. Where would you even go? He is undoubtedly in the midst of the Lan sect encampment, and, surname aside, you are no longer a Lan. You belong to my Wen sect, and our sects are currently at war.” Wen Ruohan shook his head firmly. “If you try to go talk to him, he will simply have his disciples take you prisoner and use you as a hostage against me.”

Lan Qiren was distracted for a brief moment, wondering if such a ploy would work. More than likely, Wen Ruohan would just laugh in the messenger’s face at their gall in thinking they had a handle on him…no, he was being too cruel, both to himself and to Wen Ruohan. He personally thought it plausible that Wen Ruohan felt something for him, though he was likely in firm denial about it, but even if he didn’t, his overweening pride would never permit him to tolerate an insult to someone he had publicly claimed as one of his own.

“He will not be in the encampment,” he said instead. “He will be on his own, just as I will be.”

“What makes you so sure?” Cangse Sanren asked.

“Because this is his revenge. Because even in the Lotus Pier, he did not give an order, he took action himself, and knowing what I now know, I would expect nothing less.” Lan Qiren did not look at Wen Ruohan, not wanting to give himself away. “Nothing else would be enough.”

He had not had the leisure, if one could call it that, in the panicked interval between his discovery and the arrival of Wen Ruohan and Cangse Sanren and the rest to really sit down and imagine what it would be like for him if Wen Ruohan died. Even though he had heard the rumors that were currently flying through the Nightless City with abandon about what was going on in Jiujiang, the incipient war, the movement of all the Great Sects, the possible consequences, he had always remained confident that Wen Ruohan, at least, would remain untouched – he knew that the man was not mad, after all, and between his personal power and his paranoia, Wen Ruohan would be hard to pin down. He was practically a god, or at least he was always saying he was, and he unquestionably was the most powerful man in the cultivation world. What could harm him? What could possibly kill him, other than a clever betrayal such as this?

To think of it…

Lan Qiren did not want to think of it.

It was like thinking of something happening to one of his nephews, unthinkable and gut-wrenching.

It was also not helpful.

“That is why I must go face him alone,” he said, forcing himself to resume the conversation at hand. “Wen Ruohan correctly identified that the ideal approach to settling this issue without bloodshed would be to stop my brother from activating the core array in the first place. He will not go anywhere near that array if he believes he is being watched – under such circumstances, when faced with the choice between doing it personally or having it not be done at all, he would resort to ordering someone else to do it. But if the only one watching him is me…”

“Madness is as madness does,” Wen Ruohan said. “Cruelty is as cruelty does, too. If it’s you, he wouldn’t stop. On the contrary, he would probably take you there himself just for the pleasure of seeing the look on your face while he does it.”

Lan Qiren swallowed.

“Yes,” he said, and the voice inside his head that was still the child that had looked up to his distant but glorious elder brother cried out Why do you hate me so? “Yes, I agree. And that will give me the opportunity to find the core array, and, if I can, a way to stop him from activating it.”

“Qiren, I hate to remind you, but you didn’t exactly come out on top the last time you and your brother had a conversation, and that was when he was making an effort not to reveal himself as being completely insane,” Cangse Sanren said. She was nervously gnawing on her lower lip with her teeth. “I’m not even talking about the fact that he’s supposed to be this amazing swordsman that can put you to shame without blinking twice even before he went into seclusion to do nothing but focus on his cultivation for ten years, I mean that you ended up with internal injuries over a chat. And you’re in worse shape now than you were then – don’t think I didn’t see what happened to your hand!”

“Your hand?” Wen Ruohan said sharply, immediately reaching up to grab Lan Qiren’s arms and pulling them out in front of him, revealing his mangled fingers. “What happened – ”

“You do not get a say on this,” Lan Qiren informed him. “For what I think should be obvious reasons.”

Wen Ruohan’s face paled, but to give him credit for stubbornness, he carried on regardless. “They should not have touched you – ”

“You are not going to punish them for doing what you ordered them to do.” It was those poor seamstresses all over again. “The problem is not that people you have assigned a given task have carried out that task, even if the task happens to be torture. The problem is that you have a place devoted specifically to torturing people.”

“Wait, the Fire Palace?” Cangse Sanren said. “Are we talking about the Fire Palace? He put you in the Fire Palace?! Qiren – ”

“Please do not intervene in my marital affairs, Cangse Sanren.”

“This isn’t a marital affair, this is bullshit – ”

“Cangse Sanren, no vulgar language!”

“Yes, keep your nose and your mouth out of this,” Wen Ruohan said. “It’s none of your business – ”

“Qiren is my friend – ”

“Will you both be quiet?!” Lan Qiren shouted at the top of his lungs. “Now is not the time!”

Reluctantly, both Wen Ruohan and Cangse Sanren shut their mouths, though they looked unresigned.

Lan Qiren glared at them both.

After a little while, when they finally started to look a little more sheepish than angry, he finally spoke.

“He is my brother,” he said. “It is my sect he is seeking to destroy. My rules. Both of you know me well. You must know what it means to me, what he is doing. What it means to me personally.”

They knew. He could see it on their faces – they knew.

“You want to hold me back because you care for me. I understand that. But sending me against him is our best chance at stopping what is going to happen, and stopping what is going to happen is the most important thing right now. If my brother succeeds…if he breaks my sect…”

He pressed his lips together. He did not want to say it.

Not because it wasn’t true – do not tell lies – but because he knew it would hurt them both, these two people who, other than his nephews, at times seemed to be the only people left in the world who whole-heartedly cared for him.

But it was true.

“If my brother destroys my Gusu Lan sect, he will destroy me, too.”

It was just as Wen Ruohan had said: once the Lan sect’s heart was gone, once the rules were gone, those people like Lan Qiren would not be able to survive. Whether through qi deviation or by turning their swords against themselves, just as He Kexin had done… Lan Qiren had been sect leader. Sect leader, and for ten years – his sect had been more than merely his home, more than merely his family. It had been his constant companion, always in his thoughts; it had been as close to him as any wife or husband could ever be.

He had given his sect his entire life.

How could he do any less now?

“Fine,” Wen Ruohan said. His hands were fists again. “Fine. Have it your way. We’ll handle the rest of it, while you go to confront your brother.”

“Thank you,” Lan Qiren said, bowing his head.

And only then did he let himself begin to feel afraid.

---------------

A/N: just so you all know, this is what is currently going on with the dinner: He Zhong: So like. The Sect Leader's totally obsessed with Lan Qiren, huh. Shen Mingbi: Yeah, no kidding. He Zhong: Ugh. Man. Now I'm even MORE convinced he's going to have me murdered! long exhale Anyway, thanks for letting me rant. Shen Mingbi: No problem, you're hot. Want to have sex? He Zhong: …would that not make the Sect Leader even more likely to kill me? Shen Mingbi: Honestly? Probably makes it less.

#mdzs #lan qiren #wen ruohan #cangse sanren #my fic #my fics #Megafic

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