#the consensus was that yes he was a himbo
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BatFamily: Omegaverse Edition
I have been recently re-hit by my enduring, overwhelming love for these anxious, extremely competent, disaster humans. So I'm making this post to cope with the Feelings.
This is just going to be a breakdown of the gender designations I usually give each member of the family, and why, the short version, because there's a lot of them. (Does include some more peripheral members, the only requirement to be included here is to be part of the core cast really)
I might do more in-depth posts for them on an individual basis at some point in the future.
Also this post is p much ship-neutral, with some acknowledgements of canonical relationships.
In age order...
Talia: (Becuase she is actually the oldest rip) Talia is an omega. Her relationship with Ra's in the comics is in a large part defined by his despair that she would be the perfect heir "were she not a woman" (pause for eyeroll) (Ra's is an alpha, of course. He doesn't get a full section because fuck him) This is just that scaled up. She also took control of multiple criminal organizations partly by weaponizing her femininity (but mostly by killing people and we love that for her). This also adds some layers of complication to her relationship with Damian. And also the rest of the Bats and Birds but Damian is the one she cares about.
(Also like, on a more serious note, the absolute character assassination she has undergone during her run time is horrific in a way that is very much centered around her identity as a woman, and specifically a woman of color, and I cannot in good conscience ignore that. Fuck Grant Morrison. All my homies hate Grant Morrison)
Alfred: Alfred is an alpha. Yes, I know most fics have him as a beta but I firmly believe alpha fits more with both his backstory (military and theater) and character (very protective and willing to get lethal with it.) He's a very low-key alpha, who, as the Wayne family butler, most people assume to be a beta, but his is very much an alpha.
Bruce: I write Bruce as a beta. Brucie Wayne is the epitome of non-threatening himbo and being a neutral beta helps with being not taken seriously as a danger. It also adds a wider layer of disguise for Batman, since the general consensus is that Batman has to be an alpha. (Also lets me have the trinity be "one each"* and that makes me happy. They’ll get their own post together soon)
Beta Bruce also means he gets to be consistently flummoxed by his children’s situations. He is more comfortable with alpha things, since both Alfred and his parents are/were alphas so they’re more familiar to him.
Selina: An omega. (As you can tell, Bruce may or may not have a bit of a weakness for omega women who don't take anybody's shit XD) Selina is an archetypal femme fatal (though also so much more) couldn't have her be anything else. This also adds to her reputation in Crime Alley, both in the sense of building herself into a serious faction and in her reputation as a safe space for strays.
Barbara: An alpha. More independent than the rest of her generation, only a Bat on her own terms and has never worked for Batman, only with him. As Oracle, who most people never meet in person, she is fairly genderless, though very much fem-presenting, but that counts a bit less in an omegaverse context.
Dick: Dick Grayson is an omega, the tendency towards being flattened into "sexy golden retriever and support of the family" and ignoring of the very real complexity in his character and storylines? he couldn't be anything else. (No, I'm not salty, don't @ me) Robin is genderless/gender neutral, Nightwing is an omega. (Titans era Dick Grayson did not give a flying fuck, as appropriate for a run about teenagers figuring out who they are in the world.)
Cass: I usually write Cass as either a beta or an omega. Part of her character is how she is deceptively non-threatening at first glance while being able to absolutely wipe the floor with the majority of her opponents. I usually lean beta for her, because I think it adds to her bond with Bruce. She has very firm connections with Babs, because of her support and care, so giving her that kind of mirror to Bruce helps balance out that relationship. It also allows for the continuation of Beta Batman in the Future. (Because Cass absolutely should be the next Batman I have been saying this for a decade and I stand by it)
Jason: Jason is an alpha. There is just something about the particular flavor of non-toxic masculinity that comes with Jason’s character that I think lends itself to this very well. Also something something expectations of violence and choices.
Stephanie: Steph is an omega. When I was first figuring these out (back in like, 2016-ish) I went back and forth between beta and omega for her before ultimately coming down in favor of omega. On the shallow side, it allows for the three main batgirls to hit each gender option. On the character history side I think it fits her teen pregnancy storyline she had. And it just fits her particular story imo. She fought literally everyone to be a vigilante. Everyone in her life has told her no at some point.
Tim: Works well with any gender, I usually opt for beta!Tim just because I think it lends itself well to his general perception as Bruce’s mini-me (despite how far from the truth that is in some significant ways). Usually if I’m not writing him beta I’m writing him alpha.
Duke: Duke I lean towards alpha both because it helps balance the family out (the perils of being the newcomer) and also I have a fondness for “chill but also absolutely unhinged” characters as alphas. Also, in a similar way to Jason, his gender means people tend to assume/underestimate how much his intelligence is involved in what he does (intersectionality also hits hard here let’s be real). I just really like the idea of Jason and Duke sending like, crossword puzzles back and forth to each other as a weird form of bonding okay.
Damian: Imma be honest Damian is who I go back and forth on the most. Any option gives a good story for his character, they’re just all different ones. Baby Damian would consider being an omega something to be ashamed of, being an alpha proof of his superiority, and being a beta merely acceptable (and maybe a way to relate to his father). As he grows into the person he is now, it would be either accepting his own worth, or accepting the worth of others, and figuring out how his gender identity and the social roles that come with it play into who he is as a hero and as a person.
I adore Damian so much. When I first was getting into comics he and Dick were just wrapping up their stint as Batman and Robin and they hold a special place in my heart.
Genetically, all three options are possible for him, his mother is an omega, his father a beta, and at least three out of four grandparents are alphas.
#omegaverse#dc comics#Batfamily#Bruce Wayne#talia al ghul#selina kyle#dick grayson#barbara gordon#cassandra cain#jason todd#stephanie brown#tim drake#duke thomas#damian wayne#rain rambles
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Hi! Can i request yandere soldier 76 and gabriel reyes with a big himbo reader who really nice to everyone and always do anything to help his friends?
Hey I hope u are doing good! And of course you can have this I love himbo readers! Hope you enjoy!
YANDERE SOLDIER 76 & YANDERE REAPER X HIMBO READER
When H/n first joined overwatch everyone loved him.
He was a fan favorite. He was strong, very tall, extremely attractive and a sweet personalty.
Even though he was (class name) he will always sacrifice himself for others and mostly tries to make sure everyone is okay without even caring about the mission.
Most members of the team were a bit imitated by the big man. But that feeling was quickly gone when Tracer saw him pick flowers for the sick Mercy.
Reyes didn't make an effort to talk to the male only watching and studying him from afar.
Morrison was the man who recruited Y/n. So him and Y/n had a close bond that angered Reyes. Reaper hated the way Soldier would look at you, the way he touched you hell even the way he talked to you.
Both of the men grew possessive of Y/n. The two would often argue about you and the arguments would last hours until Ana had enough of hearing them bicker.
Soon enough the men finally made an "Agreement." Basically that Y/n was theirs, but he just doesn't know it yet.
The two would always talk to Y/n at the same time. The three would talk about all sorts of things. Reaper wouldn't talk much he was more of a listener but would still let his presence known. Soldier would talk back and forth adding his own topics and comments. While Y/n would talk the most rambling about anything that crossed his mind.
One day the trio's daily conversations were interrupted by D.v.a.
"Heyy~ Y/n buddy! Can you go to the game store I was talking about last week and buy me this game?" D.v.a asks with a sweet smile with puppy eyes.
"Of course! But don't worry i'll pay for it. Just send me the picture of the game." Y/n gets up not seeing Gabriel's pissed off face. "Bye guys! I'll see you later." Y/n says before leaving.
Gabriel and Jack watch the big man leave then they look at each other not exchanging a word.
As soon Y/n comes back they stalk him back to D.v.a's room. Y/n knocks on the door humming a random tune to himself. "Y/N! You got it! Please come in!" The young girl asks jumping up and down expediently holding the game her friend bought.
"Can't...Maybe tomorrow. I told widowmaker that i'll be her target practice whatever that means. Tell Genji and Lucio I said hi!" Y/n says smiling at her before leaving to go do his promise.
The next day.
Reaper stares at the shirtless Reinhardt with hatred burning in his eyes. Both Y/n and the large German were shirtless leaning onto each other during breakfast.
Reaper knew nothing was going on between his "Boyfriend" and the German, but god it didn't stop his mind from wondering why the both of you were shirtless leaning on each other.
Solider glares daggers towards Reinhardt clenching the fork in his hand as he watch Reinhardt wrap his arms around Y/n.
Later that day it was team training.
Everyone was working outside y'know testing out new tricks, regular work out, teaching people new things etc etc.
Everything was going well until well H/n got hurt. And I mean hurt badly.
Y/n looked around to see if there were any support heroes that could help him out. Y/n was losing tons of blood, so he ran to reaper with all of the strength he had and passed out on top of him.
Reaper acted fast stopping Y/n's bleeding with some nearby bandages and picked him up leaving the training field while Solider 76 follows. Reaper carried Y/n all the way back to his room opening the door and setting Y/n down by a nearby chair.
Jack rushed in the room shutting the door and locking it before checking up on his boyfriend.
Y/n slowly gets back to his consensus not hearing anything Reaper and Soldier is saying. It's all muffled and loud to Y/n.
"Gabe?" The nickname causes the two men to pause their argument and turn to Y/n. "Yes?" "Am I going to die? Sombra always tells me that I'm gonna die from my clumsiness and I was wondering if that's true?"
The two men think the same thing. "Does this kid believe everything hes told?"
Jack begins to reassure Y/n that hes not gonna die and comfort him giving him praises about his bravery.
"Mhm. And besides Jack and I wouldn't let our boyfriend die." Reaper says boldly standing more closely to him. "Boyfriend? Were boyfriends? I thought Me and Junkrat were dating. We kissed a few hours ago and that's what couples do."
"What" Jack and Gabriel say in union staring at Y/n with their eyes wide. "Yeah? I call him babe while he calls me sweets." Reaper opens his mouth probably going to shout and curse, but before that Jack stops him and takes a lighter choice. "Y/n. You can't be doing that. It's cheating on both of us. And it's very rude. So to avoid all that how bout you mostly stay and hang out with us. We are dating so technically for you not to be a bad boyfriend you have to do what we say."
Y/n thinks for a moment before nodding his head yes. "Does that mean we have to kiss now?" Reaper and Jack exchange a look before nodding.
Y/n stands up and bends down to Jack's level giving him a light kiss on the lips before turning to reaper kissing him as well.
"Now I only have two boyfriends correct?"
"Correct Y/n."
Timeskip!
Since that day Y/n mostly spends his days with his boyfriends. Always giving them little flowers he'll find outside.
Most of the team were happy for the three of them and supported them.
But few members knew. Something had to be up.
Ashe was quick to notice something was wrong with Y/n. Y/n had stopped coming to talk with Bob. Even though most people didn't care about that Ashe knew something had to be wrong. Y/n talked to Bob for hours on end almost everyday to the robot and now he stopped visiting.
Lucio and D.v.a sees the way Jack and Reaper acts from afar when someone is talking or spending time with Y/n. They were always somehow there. Hell they were even at the mission Y/n was on.
Sigma knew something bad was going to happen. Y/n and him were partners for a mission one time and Y/n had accidentally rambled to Sigma about the way his boyfriends would tie him up to a chair and leave him there for days. Sigma immediately started to warn others, but half didn't care and only thought he was crazy.
It was a team mission. Every single overwatch member was in it at an all hands on deck type of mission. But surprisingly soldier 76 as well Reaper doesn't show.
The whole fight was gruesome and dirty.
And well H/n. Well H/n was being H/n. He was saving people left and right not caring about his own body and only caring for others.
He brought many of his team members to safety if they got hurt and other regular citizens.
H/n body was overworked and he pushed through it until it was finally over.
The team all stand side by side with each other many people interviewing them and thanking the heroes.
"H/n. I was wondering if you feel pressured as the new guy to thrive and show everyone that you belong on the team? Since your performance today was top tier."
Y/n head was pounding trying to figure out the words for the answers and his body sways around feeling heavier and heavier.
"Uhm... I don't feel anything at the moment besides the headache. But i'm not trying to show off my speed or my strength. I'm just trying to help the people I care for most. Uhmmm yeah." Y/n answers with a little struggle trying to get everything out as fast as he can.
"Another question for H/n! Are you seeing anyone serious in the moment. Because it was sightings of you with a mysterious woman in a questionable position."
Y/n looks around like did he hear that correctly. Y/n just hands the mic to Lucio lowering his head down.
Epic Timeskip!
By the time Y/n gets back to the overwatch base he lays on Winston begging him to take him to his room.
Winston doesn't argue and carries the big man to his room where his two boyfriends are waiting.
Once the two arrive Y/n slides off of him wishing him goodnight before unlocking the door and walking in shutting and locking it behind him.
The place is quiet and dark.
Y/n walks to his bedroom taking off his hero costume before putting on more casual clothes. Y/n basically collapses on the bed breathing heaving and nervously when he feels eyes on him.
"Y/n. Who is she? DON'T even bother lying because I already know."
"My ex..." "And why were you with your ex?" "Because she wanted to ask me something..." "Mind explaining why she was on your lap." Reaper takes Y/n's arms tying them up as Jack ties up his legs.
"I don't know! She said she missed me! Please gabe! I don't wanna do this again. It wasn't my fault." Y/n pleas feeling himself getting picked up off the bed.
"I know cariño~ I know. Just that me and Jack are gonna pay her a visit." Reaper sits Y/n down tying up to a chair before picking up the chair and taking it to a closet.
"This is for your own good Y/n."
"We know what's best for you."
THE END!
#x male reader#male reader#overwatch x male reader#overwatch#reaper x male reader#soldier 76#soldier 76 x male reader#the bear club
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2AM thoughts
CW: suggestive content, mentions/discussion of SA/rape
I just saw (again) a post with that Lae'zel-Halsin banter that's like 'has he killed more or fucked more in his 350 year alive?' and he goes 'chimera has 3 heads but does it count as one creature?' Then Lae'zel says 'must have been a challenging kill' and he replies 'yes... kill' (sorry, my palm brushed the back button and the post was lost from view or I'd have done this as a reblog, but again it's 2am, I'd scrolled for a while until it popped up and I'll have forgotten by the time I get up again).
Now, I see three potential readings for this and I'm not saying any of them are more or less valid, just wanted to package them into wordsies:
A) Halsin is doing a funny. From banter with Shadowheart (for example) we see that he does have a funny bone. I'm thinking in particular the animal noises she offers to make to make him feel more at home in the shadow-cursed lands and him going 'you bleat well enough as is'. Yup, can absolutely be read as 100% serious, but doesn't really match his character. Think also the 'you're so big and strong and muscular and huge hunky-hunk-man for an elf' dialogue option in camp. His reply 'really?' is, for a split second, convincingly genuine, but he instantly reveals that 'ha-ha! Tricked you, of course I know I'm a big beefy himbo guy for an elf, we have fun.' Not to play the autism card, but this humour is very popular among autistics, I don't make the rules. Allistics frequently don't get it, especially because we use it with such earnestness that it can be tough to see the intention of a joke.
The chimera banter does fit that pattern.
B) He did fuck that chimera, he is a monsterfucker. Obviously, this is the favourite option for both Halsin-stans and Halsin-...crams... it's 2.19am, fuck off.
Him horny, him 'old', him horny and old, he fuck monsters. We don't know when he did it, how he did it, why he did it. Maybe he really was just horny and he put all of y'all's hear-me-outs to shame (I'm not a monsterfucker, personally, I can't even bring myself to fuck Halsin in bear form, so I don't have any hear-me-outs). Maybe there was something external at play. Maybe it's Maybelline(TM R C and such). Honestly, good for him. All we know for sure is that he checked in with that chimera to make sure it was all consensual beginning to end. Absolute king. I'd believe that a chimera would get the hots for him. He can get it.
3) He did have sexual intercourse with a chimera, but it wasn't consensual on his part. "But Kats," I hear you scream (I don't, humour me), "why would he be so chill about it then?!" The drow. He says himself in his Sharess' Caress afterglow dialogue that the way he speaks of the events now isn't necessarily representative of the severity of the events. Ffs he reports being raped, a sex slave for three years, and still 'some of it was done willingly'. My bro, my boo, son. N.O.! Just because it was "in their nature" as lolth-drow or some shit does not make it excusable! Just because you got a hard-on, a natural bodily reaction that has nothing to do with willingness or consent, does not mean you have to downplay what happened, even if that makes it easier in your own mind. Therapy. You, me and someone qualified. And Astarion. And Gale. And Derryth Bonecloak, honestly... NOW!
I would not be any more surprised than with the other two options if this were the tale behind that... story. Martel, I am running out of vocabulary here, but you know what I mean.
Anyway, again, I don't consider any of these more or less true/likely than each other. Perhaps there's even other options? Perhaps there's official info on it that I haven't come across yet bc I've had the game for 3 weeks and there is just so much content all of the time. Yeah, just wanted to lay down my 2 cents. Okay, nighty night!
#halsin#halsin bg3#please dont let me wake up to hate this in the morning#future-me? current-me is sorry that past-me started writing this 45minutes ago
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Unconventional's Kink RP Ad
I decided to bite the bullet and put out feelers for more kinky RP partners.
Looking for fellow adults with decent writing skills who are interested in short or long-term threads and okay with long gaps in between replies. I prefer using Discord or Pillowfort, but I have a roleplaying sideblog here on Tumblr if needed.
While I prefer playing with OCs, I have a few fandoms I like to play in and am open to playing with other people’s fandom muses as long as I don’t need to be familiar with their canon. My favorite genres to play in are modern day, urban fantasy, paranormal fantasy, high fantasy, and sci-fi. Pairings-wise, I’m particularly fond of queer-for-queer M/F, and I very much enjoy M/M, F/F, NB/any, and polyamory. I’m always down to whip up a custom OC to fit a partner’s muse or a concept we like.
Under The Cut
Kinks List
Main Fandoms
Main OC Muses
Kinks List
💙Yes!
stuffing
stomachaches
belly rubs
liquid bloats
feeding/feedism
human
furry
nonhuman/monsterlover/xenophilia
Omegaverse (within my boundaries)
👌 Okay
mild weight gain
burping
fat admiration
non-graphic emeto
diegetically consensual forcefeeding
⚠️ Maybe
BDSM (mainly bondage, D/s, CG/l, and pet play)
diegetically nonconsensual forcefeeding
horror themes
sex
safe vore
❌ No
extreme weight gain/blob
graphic emeto
scat/eprocto
preg/ovipos
full-body inflation
bursting
breeding kink
death feedism
Main Fandoms
The Magicians (TV)
Falling Skies
Grimm (TV)
Warehouse 13
Doctor Who (Ninth through Thirteenth; still on S12)
Five Nights At Freddy’s (Games)
Main OC Muses
🧑Human
Angel: (she/her; bi; late 30s) A big beautiful feeder and professional Domme with an old Hollywood style, a passion for roleplay, and a love of sweet, needy, hungry pets.
Adam: (he/him; bi ace; mid-20s) A sweet, energetic feedee who's an absolute tummy slut with eyes eternally bigger than his stomach and an unquenchable thirst for cuddles, praise, and belly rubs.
Dustin: (he/him; gay ace; late 30s) A charming but easily flustered ex-Southern sugar daddy feeder with a weakness for pretty boys and a talent for cooking.
Jaxon: (he/him; questioning; early-20s) A cocky rich kid feedee who’s much less experienced and much more insecure than he wants to let on.
Jeb: (he/him; gray-ace; mid-30s) A warm-hearted farm boy turned bodyguard for hire who loves people and a good meal.
Axel: (he/him; bi; late-30s) A big, tall, rowdy but friendly biker bear who loves to eat and never backs down from a challenge, though he’s always a good sport.
🐺Furry
Caleb: (he/him; ace; wolf; early 20s) A sweetheart of a himbo with an utter weakness for tummy rubs who’s almost always hungry. QPPs with Callie.
Callie: (she/her; ace; cocker spaniel; early 20s) A shy and anxious tummy kinkster who’s nonetheless fiercely devoted to taking care of others. QPPs with Caleb.
Rex: (he/him; ace; golden retriever; late 30s) A traumatized veteran turned disability aid who’s reluctant to admit just how much an overfull stomach calms him down.
Giselle: (she/her; masc-leaning bi; gazelle; late 30s) A graceful and elegant feeder who used to be a night club singer before she developed ME/CFS.
Malchior: (he/him; ace; dragon; 100+) A powerful and ill-tempered wizard who prefers to be left alone to his hoard and his magical experiments, though he’s not impossible to win over.
🧛♂️Nonhuman
Salazar: (he/him; ace; vampire; 300+) The gracious second-in-command of an unusually tight-knight paranormal community who’s building up a tolerance to the human food he so loves to cook for others.
Lucinda: (she/her; unlabled; witch/fae; ???) A dangerously beautiful temptress who likes inflicting magical tummy-related punishments on assholes she encounters, though she’s surprisingly willing to make sure they don’t suffer too much.
#belly kink#tummy kink#feedism kink#kinky roleplay#feedism roleplay#belly kink roleplay#tummy kink roleplay#my post
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Shittily explain the plot of Beastars?
A'ight, bet.
Socially awkward wolf socially awkwards himself into a polyamorous relationship.
Dramatic twink deer dramatically twinks his way into becoming head of a lion Yakuza.
Domme rabbit is so done with both of these idiots, but does not control who she loves.
Best boi is sad, also may have a crush on socially awkward wolf and secretly writes 500k childhood friends to lovers fanfic.
Less socially awkward wolf is having strange and confusing new feelings about rabbit girl. Also twink deer and socially awkward wolf.
Holder of the only brain cell in the series is a himbo panda doctor who treats his patients by beating the shit out of them. Hey, there's only 1 brain cell.
Who's this? It's an alpaca. Is the alpaca important? Well yes, but actually no. Whoops, mystery dude just ate the alpaca. Bye, alpaca.
Lion Yakuza guy just tried to eat dramatic twink deer. Other lion yakuza guy shot him. He's dead now. Or just sleeping, and it was only a tranquiliser dart, depending on how much you like him. Either way, he's not around anymore.
Socially awkward wolf dressed in drag and flirted with dramatic twink deer. I can hear domme rabbit screaming in frustration in the background.
Hey, who's this? It's a sheep. Is the sheep important? Well no, but actually yes. Pretty boy sheep is horny all the time. And he likes having sex, too. Anyway, the sheep is flirting with socially awkward wolf. Oh, and there's a bear. No, not that kind, get your head out the gutter.
Socially awkward wolf and daddy bear are having a "my muscles are bigger than yours" stand-off. Pretty boy sheep has no time for them.
Whoops, socially awkward wolf and pretty boy sheep just told daddy bear they know he killed the alpaca. Whose name is Tem, apparently. Now daddy bear has apparently killed pretty boy sheep, and is fighting socially awkward wolf under a bridge.
Except that gets put on hold for a hot minute, because guess who? It's dramatic twink deer! And he's telling socially awkward wolf to put his meat in wolf's mouth. Daddy bear is understandably disturbed by this, and calls the fight off because they made the whole thing so weird.
Daddy bear: "I can excuse eating my best friend, but I draw the line at you eating your best friend!"
Pretty boy sheep is alive! And he called the cops. Now daddy bear's in jail, but it's okay, pretty boy sheep is going to visit him. And there's a possibility that some of those are conjugal visits, depending who you ask.
Despite the homoerotic consensual foot-eating that socially awkward wolf and dramatic twink deer engaged in, the latter is now marrying some random woman we've never heard of. Also, his shitty dad is dead. Or in a coma, but close enough.
Domme rabbit and girl wolf are having homoerotic wall-pinning encounters. That's enough of that, though. Let's see what sad labrador is doing.
He's eating onions and wearing socially awkward wolf's clothes. He is not handling this breakup well, and they weren't even a couple.
His roommates stage an intervention, and they visit socially awkward wolf, who has dropped out of high school to become Batman. Or WolfBatman, I guess.
WolfBatman reunites with his estranged grandpa, and then gets involved in hunting down a serial killer. There's a bunch of characters added here, but they're all NPCs with side-quests, so like any true gamer, WolfBatman ignores them.
WolfBatman is ripping his teeth out to apologise for...being a wolf? Weird. Anyway, we meet asshole horse! Asshole horse is a horse. He's also an asshole. But he's hot, despite being the same age as WolfBatman's grandpa, so we forgive him.
Now we meet a fruity hybrid. His name is Melon. He wears Hawaiian shirts. That tracks. His interests include candlelit dinners, long walks on the beach, and murder. He shoots WolfBatman, but apparently WolfBatman (and all hybrids?) have magic anti-bullet powers, so he survives.
Sad labrador is going to have a whole new bunch of things to be sad about. Meanwhile, dramatic twink deer is now CEO deer, and is vomiting at the thought of having sex with his wife. He goes on to talk publically about how much he loves the taste of meat in his mouth, but is hustled off stage quickly before he can ask WolfBatman to call him some time.
Whoops, it's the final countdown...wait, no, confrontation. WolfBatman, asshole horse, CEO deer and the lion yakuza, plus some of the NPCs from earlier, have all gathered for a day of depravity. Unfortunately, this is not as fun as it sounds.
Instead of an orgy, there is murder. Or attempted murder, at least. Fruity hybrid tries to kill WolfBatman, but rolls a Nat 1 and ends up shooting himself instead. WolfBatman is sad about Fruity hybrid's death. He's the only one.
We jump to several months or years in the future, it's not clear when. WolfBatman and CEO deer have been named Beastars, which is supposed to mean something, but they kind of forgot to tell us what it means. Domme rabbit and girl wolf are still waiting for them to pull their heads out their asses. Sad labrador is less sad, but still hasn't had his back blown out by WolfBatman like he wanted.
We're told this is a happy ending, despite WolfBatman drowning in angst and CEO deer being trapped in a loveless marriage. I disagree, but unfortunately I have no power to change the ending.
Unless I use fanfiction. A lot of people do that. It's usually a thinly-veiled excuse to have their favourite characters smooching. It's a good excuse.
Anyway, that was Beastars.
Amazing ♥️
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Big Ethel Energy Season 2 Episode 13-15
Quick and dirty comments edition because I don't have enough energy to string together sentences.
:/
Okay that's a lie. I got worked up about how they talk about Jughead.
:/ I swear to God get over it. He rejected you so long ago.
Don't like the gutter space use of chibi-ethel's doing commentary. It feels like it's leading the audience to a conclusion. I mean I figured out that they were going to make Betty Veronica's assistant because that was clearly the direction they were going, but don't speak for me, chibi-Ethel. (Yes, I am jaded and I'm tired.)
"I saw her attraction for this guy coming a mile away and I need to know why I should care." Is what I originally said regarding this panel, but good for Veronica considering her last boyfriend was a pretentious asshole.
I swear I am coming at this comic for how it has written and treated Jughead Pendleton Forsythe III. He DOESN'T DESERVE THIS TREATMENT OR CHARACTERIZATION. LEAVE THE ASEXUAL/AROMANTIC MAN ALONE. They treat him like he killed her dog. He had consensual sex with Ethel when they. I wouldn't even consider that using her! You can have a sexual relation with someone and not have it be deep! Feelings are allowed to change. Yes, Ethel can be hurt by the fact he had sex with her to find out how he feels, but it's not as if he strung her along and made her believe that he liked her. There are worse things that can happen than not communicating with her and avoiding her!
ALSO SHE HAD FORGIVEN HIM AND HE EXPLAINED WHAT HAPPENED. So at least tell your boyfriend to be civil. If Ethel has forgiven someone and let bygone be bygone then her partner, Moose, should follow suit. I feel like he's not respecting her decisions with that situation.
[REFERENCE: SEASON 1 EPISODE 58]
-FRUSTRATED YELLING-
Remember when I said, I was going to essentially be professional with this? Well, I take it back.
YOU ARE NOT MOOSE MASON IN THE SLIGHTEST. You're not a himbo. You're just a jealous little man masquerading as Moose Mason with none of his spirit.
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What would bts be like as fratboys?? Confident, smooth, fun boyss. Shy nerd mc or hot sorority girl mc. Friends to fwb to lovers. Or enemies to lovers. I love the idea of this au. I just want to imagine the fun of partying, drugs, alcohol, and sex without consequences ugh. Frat houses/clubs gives an easy way for them to meet often at parties and have sex at the party (bathroom, outside, room). or hanging out together. why not in that order. It also allows for fun challenges so mc can have sex with multiple guys in the same fic ah omg. Like "record having sex with x ppl", "rank x ppl after having sex with them" in a fun, consensual way. I want to be friends with college bts :/ Have movie nights, going to mcdonalds at 3am and other 3am adventures, cuddling etc ahh
-🖤
oooh this could be fun
confident himbo frat boy! bts x maybe not virgin but very sexually shy m/c so the possibilities for smut are now endless because ~ kink exploration!
i had to look up what sorority meant but yes! just for the sake of the plot, yes she will be a sorority girl 😭
enemies to lovers could be so good if it’s written well because i’ve read some enemies to lovers and the second hand embarrassment i get from some of these people makes my skin crawl. even friends to fwb to lovers could be an interesting concept, watching the way emotions change from platonic to them being like oh… wait they gave me a boner
i would like to imagine parties without me having to actually go to them so this concept may just be perfect for me 😭
i think there would be a lot of sex in the bathroom, i know that’s kinda gross when you think about all the throw up and sex that already happens in those bathrooms but i think their go-to place would be the bathroom and i don’t have an explanation why
oooh maybe they get a little drunk —> have sex (maybe a little tipsy so we’re not doing anything icky and both parties can consent) —> realize that it’s more than physical attraction —> hang out (dates) and then relationship!
the jealous sex that would ensue if any of the boys found out that she was having sex with other men, maybe it— ew cant believe i’m gonna say this because i don’t usually read this trope— but maybe whoever she’s seeing has sex with another girl to try and make her jealous but maybe our m/c is so sexually liberated with her new found confidence she doesn’t really bat an eye. maybe it’s a ‘she fell first but he fell harder’ kinda thing
YES THE CHALLENGES maybe HOLF ON let’s just go all the way and say it’s ot7 x m/c. maybe one of them develops feeling for her first while the others are egging her on to do all this stupid shit like see how many people she can kiss within an hour or as you say record herself while she has sex with someone, maybe she even tries to do it with someone outside of the group but that’s the moment they all start to realize that maybe they want it to be them that she records herself with
cute movie nights :( they’d definitely let the m/c pick, maybe she picks something none of them like, idk pitch perfect or something, maybe even a disney movie but they all just sit with her to watch it just because they like to see her smile :( 3am drives in the summer :( maybe stopping at the beach :( oooh and then cuddling in the car on the way home while wrapped up in a towel :( with sea salt kisses and sandy skin
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can you tell me a little about wenny please? it makes me think of the snippet you posted a little while ago, the one with Harry and hockey players. since one of the players is called Wennström/Wennberg, something like that. he’s swedish anyway 😂 sorry for all the rambling
Yes! It is Alex Wennberg/Harry/Jamie Oleksiak. I posted a snippet a few minutes ago but I could go on for days about it.
It was easy for me to decide to do a sequel to Big Rig because I kind of want to turn it into a series. A hockey harem puck bunny series where Harry consensually sleeps with the whole team at some point. And Alex is beautiful and an incredible player. I love the line he is on; Schwartz and Burakovsky. I think Alex is a smooth player and if you follow NHL then you know but if you don't, Kraken is a new team so their first year was ROUGH. This year is shaping up to be a bit better (they won 5-2 last night!!! can we pls keep Jones in goal?).
ANYWAY I wanted to play into the rough patch of a new team and not having the confidence on and off the ice. All the while still having the chemistry and himbo-ness of Big Rig. Thus resulting in a threesome with the goal of Harry helping Alex get his game back. It will be dom Alex and sub Harry and sub Jamie. I'm very excited.
#this was more about actual hockey than the fic#im so sorry about that lol#but i couldn't help it#also having alex's line and then jamie on the ice...chefs kiss but jamie is suspended for three games so 🤪
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considering that the triburnal were all grown adults at the battle of the red mountain.... nerevar and voryn dagoth would have been like at the very least middle aged when they died because they were said to be a generation older than triburnal.... that brings us to the natural follow up guestion:
was nerevar a dilf?
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Genshin headcannons, all men You been kidnapped (part 2/?)
Hurt/comfort sfw part one here
Diluc, kaeya, Tartaglia, zhongli, itto, ayato, gorou, Thoma, scaramouche, kazuha, albedo, venti, Xiao , dainsleif
TW: Mentions of torture, blood, vomiting, non consensual touching, death treats. Mentions of death (not you or him) alcohol poisoning, sexual assault, mentioned of possession, animalistic nature
Arataki itto
Listen I know he is a himbo but he knows something is wrong when you're late to his onikabuto mach, and you have never been late once, he had to win the onikabuto mach without being cheered on, and you're his lucky charm so he almost lost but still won. Right after the mach he would start with going to all the spots you two hang out. By the end of the day he will be in tears because he not only couldn't find you anywhere but he didn't take all the onikabuto he found because you're his top priority right now. He ended up falling asleep at one of the spots with the gang members. It's the second day when someone told him that you have been taking by the kujou clan to bait him out do they can arrest him, he will be furious!!!! He was going to fight them head on but the gang had to hold him back, if it wasn't for them the bait would of worked, but now he needs to think with his himbo brain! "Ayato" itto said, while running of towards the kamisato estate, once he fits there he will tell ayato about the situation who just so happens to tell kokomi and the resistance, so now he has not only ayato on his side but a whole army.once they get to the kujou estate they figured out the door is locked, so you know in itto's hangout how he punished the whole bolder well he did that to the FUCKING WALL! well there's there entrance, immediately the kujou gaurds would be alarmed and start to get ready for the attack but, remember itto is still pissed and has a claymore, so no more of them, by the time where they find Sara itto would attack but ayato will hold them back, when ayato tells Sara about the reason they are there Sara is pissed because people of her own army went against a rule not to harm innocent people, just for a dumb Oni, yes itto took offence but now that Sara is telling them to follow her to the police station all hell is loose. Once they get the she is the one to barge down the door and demand a explanation for why they did that. Apparently some soldiers wanted to show off that they caught itto and using you was the only way they thought would work, but atlas it don't work, you were set free and itto was off the hook just this once, ayato had to pay for the damage and kokomi had to Help with healing the other people who itto ' dealt with '. " So that was something" you said while getting a piggy back ride by itto " yeah but hey my little onikabuto" (he called you that once and never stopped) he said stopping mid sentence to see if you were looking at him "anyways, what I was saying is that you are safe now and in good old number 1 itto's arms, well back" he said ignoring your eye roll, "yeah yeah well next time try not to allow you s/o to get kidnapped" you said in return, " yeah I love you too" he said in return, you both ending up laughing at eachother after that and roasting you both, even some of the gang members join in.
There was going to be ayato on this list, but at the end whenever I tryed to save it ,it never fucking saved and shit, so just take itto for now, I'll post another soon
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Did someone say "dominant women"? *🦗🦗🦗* Anyway, here's a tiny list of femdom goodness, with the obligatory disclaimer that these are works of fiction and their purpose isn’t to give you tips on safe, sane and consensual practices or healthy romantic relationships. There are plenty of resources available if you want to educate yourself. (By which I mean, please don't whine at me about how "toxic" S Flower is. It's cartoon p.orn, deal with it.) It goes without saying that all of these are smutty.
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Is It Wrong to Get Done by a Girl? (Onnanoko ga Daicha Dame desuka?)
by Nejiga Nameta || Ongoing
24-year-old Mitsuki and 28-year-old Shinomiya have been dating for a month. They like each other very much, but they are both reluctant to take things to the bedroom. When they finally get around to it, it quickly becomes apparent that the issues that led to all their previous relationships failing are still very much present. Mitsuki has always been repulsed by getting the princess treatment that is supposedly every woman's dream, while the seemingly "perfect" Shinomiya stresses about having to "man up" and take the lead to the point of ED. There's an obvious solution to their problem, but unlearning a lifetime's worth of sexist nonsense is easier said than done.
Hardcore Vanilla
by Yu Myeong || Complete
Good-natured himbo Chanhee has been crushing on an older student for ages. Unfortunately for him, so has the rest of campus. He finally spots his chance to stand out from the crowd when he stumbles upon evidence that his beloved Eunjo is secretly a Domme. Not knowing much about BDSM but determined to get anything Eunjo is willing to give him, he proposes to play with her. Meanwhile, the actually vanilla Eunjo is beyond baffled by Chanhee's assumptions about her. She's never been interested in kink and she has no clue where all of this is coming from. However, there's just something about Chanhee... and Eunjo does happen to have a friend she can ask for advice...
The Virgin Witch
by Face Park || Ongoing
Coming from an extremely conservative household, office drone Mihye is a horny virgin with absolutely no romantic or sexual experience. The night of her 30th birthday is a sad state of affairs: she gets drunk with only a body pillow of her favorite idol for company. Her birthday wish, somewhat predictably, is to finally get some. Somewhat less predictably, it is at this point that a pretty boy straight out of a fantasy movie pops out of thin air with a bizarre offer: he is a professional witch's familiar, and should Mihye sign the contract, he would become hers. Her task as a witch will be to collect sexual energy by sneaking into people’s subconscious and having dream sex with them. Witches are not supposed to have sex with their familiars, but Mihye has always been a sucker for a pretty face and Wigrun, besides being a fellow horny virgin loser, is very, very pretty...
S Flower
by Jinmi || Complete
Ye-eun's turning 32 and nothing in her life is going according to plan. After failing to make it as a lingerie designer, she's back in her hometown, running the family business alone after her parents decided to move. Having the house all to herself means she can freely practice her "hobby" of playing with men such as longtime friend Chulsoo, although it's a small comfort. Running into her ex doesn't exactly improve her mood, but real disaster doesn’t strike until the night of her birthday, when her best gal pal gifts her a limited edition dildo that Ye-eun, in her drunken wisdom, decides to test on a guy she picks up at the bar. The next morning, both the dildo and most of Ye-eun's memories of the night are missing, and the cutie who runs the café she frequents is acting suspiciously flustered. And then it turns out he has a twin... ?
#josei#josei manga#manga#manhwa#webtoon#manga recommendation#webtoon recommendation#hardcore vanilla#onnanoko ga daicha dame desuka?#s flower#마녀 30세#manga hwa hua
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please give me Anything himbo roger i need this like perhaps... him being obsessed with eating pussy? pls? - cloud anon
I’m so so so glad you requested more himbo rog because i love any excuse to write him lmao. This is a bit of a long one, certainly well over blurb length but what are you gonna do. I just have a lot of thots where himbo rog is concerned and then there was that convo a little while ago about dressing him in a maid uniform and I had to use it in here.
warnings: smut, hypnosis & bimbofication, dom!reader, fingering, pegging, oral sex (f receiving), hand job, a little bit of spanking, a little choking, a very brief mention of public sex, free use (perhaps leaning ever so slightly into consensual non consent), humiliation and degradation
Blurb Advent: Day 15
Future Management Series (all my bimbo/himbo writing)
Taglist: @vee-ndetta @atomic-watermelon @kellypenac @labessieisallama @deakyclicks @jennyggggrrr @drowseoftaylor @hannafuckingsucks @i-cant-hangout-im-drumming @queenmylovely @ilovequeenmorethanyou @johndeaconshands @borhapbois @stardust-galaxies @cherries-n-rocknroll @rogersslave @scorpiogemini
The costume shop was quiet when you entered it, one of the fluorescent lights at the far end flickering. The lady at the counter looked up from her magazine, her gaze lingering on Roger for a moment before she looked back down.
“What was the theme again?” you asked Roger as you flicked through a rack of women’s costumes.
“The letter M,” he replied from one of the other racks.
“How did Freddie pick that?”
“Dunno, you’d have to ask him. Bigger question is what are we going to wear.”
“What about Mickey and Minnie Mouse?” you shrugged.
“That sounds easy. And we’d look cute as fuck.”
“Sorry, hun,” the woman at the counter piped up, “Sold out of them two days ago.”
“Rats.”
“Mice, love,” Roger teased poking his tongue out as he went to check out another row of costumes, “We could make them from scratch I suppose.”
“Left it a bit late though. We’re meant to have them by Saturday.” You headed to the counter in the hopes that the woman there would be able to speed things up, “Do you have any other costumes starting with M then?”
She sighed as she were being interrupted in a very important task before putting down her magazine and pulling out a binder full of lists of stock. Flicking through it she located the section with M. An awful lot of it had been crossed out.
“How many people are invited to this thing? And do they all shop here?”
He shrugged as he joined you at the counter, “Roughly half of London if his last party was anything to go by. What are our options?”
The women smiled at Roger, her attitude becoming much friendlier now that he was involved, “Not a lot I’m afraid. We’ve still got a Mummy, as in Ancient Egypt, ummm, a Maid, as in French, Marilyn Monroe, Mary Poppins, a Monk, Mrs Clause, Medieval Princess…”
“Looks like you’ll be easy to sort out,” Roger said to you, “not much in the way of mens costumes though. I’d be an alright Mummy I guess,”
“Sorry, should have specified. It’s a women’s costume that one. Very sexy,”
“How do you make a Mummy sexy?”
“Strategically removed bandages. I can show you if you like,” she said this last part to Roger, suggestion dripping from every word.
“What about the Monk?” you suggested.
“Ehhhh,”
“Beggars can’t be choosers Rog.”
“Alright, it’s the backup idea. Would I be able to fit in any of those other costumes though?”
The woman thought about it, giving Roger a once over as if measuring him with just her eyeballs, “The Maid maybe. Think we should have one large enough.”
“Alright I’ll try that.”
“And I’ll go Marilyn Monroe?”
“You as Marilyn? Oh there’s a joke in there somewhere…something about How To Mary A Millionaire?”
You shook your head at him, “Just go and try on your dress,”
It was a good thing Roger had no qualms about cross dressing because the maid outfit fit perfectly. One look at Roger’s legs in the short, ruffled skirt had your mind whirring with ideas. He bought both your costumes, adding in a maid’s headband and fishnet stockings for himself and a blond Marilyn wig for you. And on Saturday night you watched him don the outfit once more, struggling to keep your hands off him. Without you knowing, he’d gone and bought himself a pair of simple black heels, explaining that if he was going to do it he might as well do it properly. Unfortunately for you they just emphasised the shape of his legs in the fishnets and made his hips sway as he walked.
The party itself was fun but you constantly found yourself zoning out, thinking about what you’d like to do to Roger before he got out of the dress.
“Love?” he asked, making you blink yourself back to the thumping music and loud voices, “You alright?’
“Fine,” you nodded.
Roger frowned and grabbed your hand, leading you away from the main throng of people, “You’ve been zoning out all night, are you sure you’re okay? Haven’t had too much to drink or anything?”
“No, it’s fine. Someone lit up a joint before and I must have breathed in some of it without meaning to.”
He gave you a look like he knew there was more to it.
“Also, maybe I can’t stop thinking about trancing you in that dress.”
“Oh,” his eyes widened and if it hadn’t been as dark as it was you would have seen a light pink stain creeping up his neck. He glanced around and then pulled you off down the hall and towards an even quieter spot, “and um, what might that look like?”
“I don’t know, got a few ideas,” your breath hitched as Roger pushed you into a dark corner of whichever room you’d ended up in, “like the idea of you on your knees. Bet I could see your arse if you leaned forward enough.”
Roger attached his lips to your throat, oblivious of if anyone else was around.
“Maybe spanking you or edg – ” you were cut off as Roger kissed you full on the mouth, his hands already working at getting his underwear and stockings down far enough to get his dick out.
“We’ll continue this conversation at home,” he said as he lifted you up, pushing your back against the wall as he moved your underwear aside.
It took a couple of days for the topic to come up again but Roger was still just as into it as he had been at the party. He’d clearly been thinking about it too because he had almost as many ideas as you did and for a week or so you discussed it on and off. It came up intermittently, sometimes a single idea out of nowhere.
“What if you tranced me and made me think I was your maid or uhhh servant? Maybe like acted really strict? Or mean even?”
“What about I get a bell to ring to get your attention but use the hypnosis to condition you to get hornier when you hear it?”
Or sometimes it was more of a conversation with each of you building on what the other said.
“What do you think about exploring that free use thing we talked about a few months ago? Like me just having you how I want and when I want.”
“Would that require a more extended hypnosis? A whole day maybe? More?”
“No I don’t think so. I mean, maybe longer than the usual couple of hours. An afternoon? Not longer than a day though, I wouldn’t feel comfortable doing that to you.”
“Then yeah okay, we did agree it sounded hot in a non-hypno way so mixing them together should work. Um, what about that pegging thing we tried?”
“You wanna do it again?”
“Yeah I think so. Again, it was pretty hot last time so doing it while I’m hypnotised can only be better, right?”
“Are you sure? We’re both pretty new to it.”
“Yeah I’m sure. I really enjoyed it,” he laughed nervously, “and I would have suggested doing it again anyway, this just seems like a good excuse.”
By the end of the week you had a pretty solid idea about what you were both looking for from the scene and what you’d both feel comfortable doing. And you arranged it so you were both at home on Friday, free to spend the morning relaxing and the afternoon playing.
After an early lunch in which you made sure to mess up the kitchen, Roger went and changed, once again putting on the dress, fishnets, hair piece and shoes. Only this time he wore one of your thongs, sheer black, underneath and a butt plug you’d picked up for him, complete with a pink jewel on the end. For your part, you dressed in one of your work outfits with a grey pencil skirt and white blouse, hopeful that it would make you seem more authoritative. Roger did a little spin for you when he was dressed and then sat in one of the kitchen chairs so you could talk him down into his trance. The scenario you’d agreed upon had him believing he was your silly brainless maid, hired to do whatever you asked. The sound of your bell meant you had another task for him, but it also made him extra horny. So horny in fact that he’d have trouble remembering what he was meant to be doing. As you dropped him deeper and he relaxed more, you noticed his legs spreading further open, making you laugh to yourself. Finally you rang the bell to wake him.
Roger grinned at you from the chair, “What can I do for you Ma’am?”
“Your first job of the day, Dummy,” you said, putting on a stern voice that left no room for argument, “is to dust off the bookshelf in the living room. It’s filthy up there.”
“Where?”
“Through this doorway,” you pointed and he dutifully stood up and began to walk toward it.
“You’ll need a duster,” you reminded him.
“Oh! Of course, Ma’am. Umm….”
“In that cupboard,”
Roger nodded, cheeks pink with embarrassment and retrieved the feather duster.
You followed him out to the living room, watching his skirt bounce with each step. He started off with the shelves at eye level, humming to himself as he brushed the duster over them, but soon had to move on to the shelves higher up. You perched yourself on the couch, acting as if you were reading though your eyes were on Roger, watching as he wobbled on his tip toes, his skirt riding up. You rang the bell and Roger jolted, looking around for you as he bit his lip.
“Yes Ma’am?”
“I think you might need to stand on a chair, Dummy. It doesn’t seem like you can reach the top shelves.”
He nodded and hurried to retrieve one, nearly running in his haste to please you.
The chair was a stroke of genius on your part. It gave you a good view up his skirt as he happily continued his dusting, especially when he leant over to get the far end of each shelf without moving his chair. You could clearly see the pink jewel every time and it made you eager to get him onto the next task. With another ring of the bell Roger jumped down to the ground and hurried to ask what he could do now.
“My shoes,” you said, pointing at the heels on your feet, “they need polishing. I want you to spit shine them for me.”
Roger blinked at you.
You clicked and pointed at your shoes again, “On your knees. C’mon, I’m not paying you to stand around and look pretty. Lick my shoes clean.”
“Yes Ma’am, sorry Ma’am,” he bowed his head and dropped to his knees where he stood, crawling over to you.
“Good Dummy,” you said as he trailed his tongue over the toe of your shoe. You’d wiped down the shoes earlier just to make sure Roger wouldn’t pick up any germs from them, but he was too brainless to notice they were already clean, enthusiastically licking at them. You made it clear you were watching him closely though. Midway through the second shoe you saw him brush his hand over the front of the skirt and stopped his shoe shining.
“I’m sorry, Dummy, is this making you horny?”
“Yes, Ma’am, it is,”
“Show me how much,” you wiggled your shoe under the hem of the skirt and pressed it lightly up, rubbing the toe against his crotch, “Hump my shoe, Maid.”
Without any more encouragement he began doing exactly as you’d asked, dragging his clothed cock along the top of your shoe, letting his eyes shut as he bit his lip.
“Alright, enough.” You pulled your food free and held it out in front of you, “Is it my imagination or did you make a mess on my shoe?”
He tilted his head to the side.
“I think you’re so fucking horny you’ve got precum all over my shoe. Is that right?”
“I don’t know,”
“Well,” you grabbed him by the hair and pushed him over the streak, “clean it up and tell me.”
Roger whimpered as you pulled his hair to move him where you wanted but thanked you for helping him and confirmed you were right. After that you felt he deserved a reward so you readjusted yourself, pulling your pencil skirt a little higher up your legs before you rang the bell again.
Roger groaned quietly at the sound, his breathing a little harder than before and then sat back. His eyes fell to where your skirt was gathered against your thigh as you crossed your legs.
“What now Ma’am?” he watched closely as you recrossed your legs, “Is there something else you’d like me to lick?”
“I don’t know. Is there something else you’d like to lick?”
He nodded, eyes still firmly on your thighs.
“Aren’t you just a pathetic little slut.”
“Am I?”
“I’m afraid so. Do you understand why?”
Roger nodded, still staring at your crotch, and then shook his head.
“Oh Dummy. It’s one thing to be my good little maid and eat me out when I tell you to, it’s entirely different for you to ask to do it. Do you see how slutty that makes you?”
Roger tilted his head and then shook it.
You tutted at him and knocked the bell as if on accident.
He whined at the sound.
“Crawl to the dining room. I want you to wash the floor in there.”
“But…please? I want to lick you soooooo bad and I’d be so good at it.”
“Careful, Maid. Now crawl.
“Yes Ma’am.” Roger dipped his head in apology and began crawling to the next room.
You stepped around him to retrieve a bucket of water and a cloth, placing both on the floor of the dining room where he stopped, “You know what to do.”
He looked at the bucket and back to you, confusion written all over his face.
With an exaggerated and exasperated sigh you handed him the cloth and, taking hold of his wrist, plunged his hand into the warm water. He gasped as you then wrenched it free and dropped it to the floorboards.
“Scrub.”
He nodded, looking mildly upset and dragged the cloth slowly over the floor.
You watched for a little while before coming up behind him, “Put your back into it, stop being lazy.” you pressed his upper back with your foot to make him bend forward.
His neck and face were bright pink, though it was hard to say whether it was arousal or embarrassment that was making him flush more. He did as you asked though, scrubbing the floor harder. You stepped behind him again, admiring the view and occasionally reminding him what you expected. After you felt you’d watched him struggle enough you stepped up behind him again. He pushed the cloth harder, expecting another reprimand. Instead you trailed you hand over the curve of his arse, pushing his skirt up higher.
Roger stilled, though you heard him whine softly into the floor.
“You’re doing a very good job, Dummy.”
He gasped when you suddenly spanked him but he pushed his arse back against your hand.
“You want another?”
He shook his head but kept pressing back against you.
“But I think you do,” You gave him another spank, “Now keep being good and see if you can earn some more.”
He nodded and smiled, though there were tears in his eyes, and then returned to scrubbing the floor.
You let him go for a while, stepping out into the other room to calm down and get ready for the next part of the plan. You could feel your wetness pooling in your underwear with how turned on you were at ordering Roger around and how much he was enjoying it. Originally you were going to make him wait to get you off until after you’d fucked him but perhaps you could have your cake and eat it too. All the same you headed to the bedroom to gather the strap and dildo you’d bought when the topic of pegging had first arisen between you. You grabbed them and the lube and then put them down again as you considered your next move. The conclusion you came to was that there wasn’t much point having a desperate bimbo toy if you were only going to deny yourself. Roger came as much as he wanted when you were the one under his influence, so why shouldn’t you do the same. You quickly shimmied out of your underwear, and then picked everything up again, dropping it on the couch in the living room on your way back to see how Roger was getting along. He was still scrubbing though he’d spilt some of the water as he’d moved the bucket, the top of his dress wet in patches. You pulled out one of the chairs, standing in front of it as you rang the bell, and watched as Roger squirmed at the sound.
“What can I do for you Ma’am?”
“Come here.”
He immediately dropped the cloth and crawled towards you.
“Good Dummy. Need your fingers to make me feel good.” You rucked your skirt up and dropped onto the seat, placing one leg up on the table.
Rogers eyes lit up and he leaned forward as if to lick hungrily along your slit.
You grabbed his hair and held him back.
“Ma’am?” Roger whined, struggling against your grip with his tongue hanging out, desperate to reach your cunt.
“I said fingers, slut.”
Roger whimpered again but brought his hand up, trailing his fingers along your slit.
“That’s right Dummy. You’re gonna finger me and make me cum and you’re going to keep your eyes up here so I know you’ll behave yourself.”
He nodded rapidly, his eyes on yours, “You’re wet,”
“You know how much I like watching your cute little arse work. C’mon, finger me,” you instructed, waiting until he’d sunk one digit into you before continuing, “Love seeing you with that pretty plug. Makes me want to use you.”
“Ma’am can I…?”
“I didn’t say you could talk. Focus.”
Roger’s eyebrows furrowed as he pulled his finger out and pressed it back in.
“You look confused Slut. What’s the matter?”
“Is this good?”
You smiled indulgently at that, half convinced he’d been about to ask to eat you out again, “So good Dummy. Add a second finger.”
He did as you asked, automatically curling them against you as he pulled them out.
“You’re such a good, obedient servant.” You relaxed back into the chair, letting Roger find a good rhythm.
He was quiet for a bit, concentrating, and then “Can I lick you now?”
You made a tutting noise, “I thought you understood your position.”
“Pos-tition?”
“I guess I have to explain it again then. I don’t care if you like licking cunt, this isn’t about you. You’re my maid. Your job is to serve me however I want, remember? I don’t care if you want something different. You’re mine to use how and when I want. Those were the conditions I hired you under, do you understand?”
“Yes Ma’am,”
“Are you sure? Then why haven’t I cum yet?”
Roger kept his eyes locked on yours as he sunk a third finger into you, pumping them faster and bringing his other hand up to rub your clit.
“Better,” you managed to get out, though it was much breathier than you’d intended.
Roger poked his tongue out between his teeth as he put all his energy into pleasuring you. You let your head drop back, rocking your hips in time with his thrusts as he sank his fingers deep into you, his other hand firmly occupied too. He slid his thumb between your lips and up to circle your clit, spreading your arousal over your cunt. The mixture of sensations sent you over the edge without too much delay, your legs clamping shut to keep his hand where you wanted it until you’d come down. Afterwards you made Roger hold his fingers up, cleaning them off with your own tongue. He whined and pouted as he watched you lick up your juices, so desperate to taste you for himself. You gave him a small concession though, grabbing his cheeks when you were done to force his mouth open. He looked confused as you brought your face close and spat onto his tongue, your saliva tinged with what you’d just licked from his fingers. But he thanked you with a big smile and a small hum of satisfaction as he swallowed it.
“What now Ma’am?” he asked softly, sitting up straighter and glancing at the bell.
You bumped the bell against your palm as if in thought, watching Roger wince with each ring, “The kitchen needs a tidy up. Go in there and wipe down all the benches for me, okay? I’ll be back soon to check on you.”
Roger nodded and walked on unsteady legs back through the house. You followed him, needing to point him in the right direction a couple of times, and then continued on to the living room to collect your supplies and remove your skirt. It took you a little while to figure out the harness. Last time Roger had helped you get set up so doing it on your own was a little confusing. You took a breath and reminded yourself you were a smart and capable woman and that you could figure out a simple sex toy on your own, and eventually got it on right. When you were comfortable you popped open the lube and spread more than you thought you’d need along the shaft of the toy. It still felt a little bizarre to look down and see a penis, even if it was obviously fake. The first time you’d tried it on you’d wondered aloud if the work you did for those living rough would have been easier to achieve if you had a real one and Roger had suggested you wear it to work one day and find out. You’d laughed at how ridiculous that was and the memory made you chuckle again as you double checked everything was in the right place.
Roger was in the kitchen when you arrived, standing at the bench with a cloth in his hand, humming to himself, though he seemed to have forgotten what he was meant to be doing. You stepped behind him and ran your hand up the inside of his thigh, over the stockings.
The humming stopped and he stilled, “Ma’am?”
“Bend over.”
He did as you asked, his chest and arms leaning on the bench.
You felt him up, letting your hands roam under his skirt, brushing over his cock and along his thigh and over his arse, making his shiver and whine. “Good thing this dress is so short, Dummy. Makes it so much easier for me. And it makes you look like a slut. You’re very hard by the way, does that mean you like it when I tell you what to do?”
His voice was soft when he spoke to the bench top, “Yes, Ma’am,”
“That’s good because I like telling you what to do. And you should be happy to know that I’m wet from watching my brainless maid working all day.”
“I am happy!”
“You are?”
“Mmhmm. Maybe I could help you Ma’am, I love cunt so much.”
“Aww Dummy,” you cooed, stroking your fingers through his hair, “That’s sweet of you to offer but it’s not what I want right now,” you took the fishnets in both hands and tugged until a rip formed right along the back, “For now I want you to stay bent over for me so I can use you. Just like I talked about before, remember?”
“When you said I’m yours to use how you want?”
“You do remember! Good boy!”
“And you said, ummmm,” he gasped as you moved his underwear aside and began slowly working the plug out of him, adding lube to make it easier
“Go one, what else did I say?” you asked as you pushed the plug back in, fucking him with it, adding more lube as necessary.
“Umm, you said they were the,” he stretched out the word as he thought hard, “oh! The co-com-bit-ons and that its, umm, my job to serve you?”
“Very good! That was so much to remember, I’m very impressed.”
“Yeah?”
“Yes, Dummy. I think I’ll have to give you a reward for remembering it all so well.”
Roger looked over his shoulder at you, grinning, “Thank you Ma’am,”
“Alright, turn back around, I’m still going to use you. Because….?”
“Because I’m yours?”
“Good boy,” you pulled the plug free and placed it on the bench beside you. Squeezing some more lube onto your fingers you began spreading it over his arsehole.
“‘s cold,” he said softly to the bench.
“I know baby, but it won’t be for long. And I gotta make sure there’s enough so that I don’t hurt you. And then you’ll be all ready for my cock.”
Roger nodded, flattening himself on the bench as you lined up the tip of the dildo and slowly sank into him.
Roger made a high pitched keening noise and you reached out to stroke his hair again as he adjusted.
“You okay, baby?” you asked letting the stern act drop for a moment.
Roger nodded, “yeah, ‘m okay. Just feels funny.”
“But good though?”
“Mmhmm. Good.”
“Good. I want you to like it. It’s more fun when you do.”
“I do!” as if to prove it he pushed his hips back, making you sink a little deeper.
“I can see that,” you laughed, “I’m gonna fuck you now, okay Dummy, and you’re going to enjoy it, right?”
He nodded, whining as you pulled your hips back slowly and then thrust forward again, figuring out your rhythm and adjusting to the sort of muscle movement it required. As you got more comfortable with it you let yourself be a little firmer, grasping Roger’s waist and fucking him harder, drawing more gasps and whines and moans from him. You varied your speed, sometimes faster and sometimes slower, keeping Roger from knowing exactly what you would do next (and giving yourself a break every so often). He’d taken your instruction to enjoy it to heart though. His fingernails scraped along the top of the bench as he tried to ground himself, rocking his hips back against you whenever you slowed.
“I want you to cum, Dummy. Rub your cock through your pretty sheer panties.”
“Th-through?”
“Over your panties.”
“Um,”
You stilled your hips and pulled out of him so you could grab his hand and lift his skirt, placing his palm over his cock, “now rub.”
He nodded, swallowing hard as he began to stroke himself. His hand stilled as you plunged into him again but a warning word made him remember what you wanted and he shakily followed your orders as you fucked him hard.
“How does it feel, Maid, being used for my entertainment?”
Roger babbled something incomprehensible in response. You couldn’t tell if it was just noise or if he’d been trying to form words but it was hot either way.
“C’mon, show me how much you like being my pretty little fuck doll. Be the pathetic little slut I know you are, and cum.” You panted between the words but Roger didn’t seem to notice or if he did he didn’t care. It must have sounded authoritative enough because a few seconds later he was moaning, his fingers twitching and legs shaking as he came. You slowed to a stop and replaced the dildo with his plug again before fixing his underwear and smoothing down his skirt.
“There, all pretty again,”
“Thank you Ma’am,” he sighed.
You patted his head, “Finish up cleaning off the benches in here and I’ll have another job for you.” You walked off, releasing a long breath once you were out of his hearing.
In the time it took you to get out of the harness, put your skirt back on, throw the dildo into a sink of hot water and relocate the bell, Roger achieved very little. He hadn’t moved from where you’d bent him over though he had stood up and grabbed his cloth again, drawing circles with it over the benchtop. When you came back to get him for his next job he was shifting from foot to foot.
“What’s the matter, Dummy?”
“Nothing,”
“Are you sure?”
He nodded though he didn’t meet your eye.
“Tell me.”
“My panties…”
“Aww, is it a bit uncomfortable?”
He nodded vigorously.
“Well maybe I can distract you.” You rang the bell and watched as his eyes glazed over and his hips jolted. “The bed needs to be made Dummy. Go on, off you go.”
He nodded and hurried off, his heels clicking against the wooden floorboards, his step awkward as he squirmed in discomfort. You followed him and showed him where to get a clean sheet from, watching as he pottered around the bed pulling off all the bedding, throwing them into a pile on the floor. Putting a new fitted sheet on the mattress seemed to be too hard a task though. It was almost cartoonish how much he struggled, placing the wrong corner of the sheet on the wrong corner of the bed and then somehow repeating the same mistake when he tried to turn the sheet around. He wouldn’t stand still, uncomfortably dancing around in his cum soaked underwear, getting more and more frustrated as the corner he thought he’d got on flew up when he tried to fit the next one. Every so often you jangled the bell under the guise of getting his attention to give him a helpful tip or reprimand him for taking so long, but it had the added effect of turning him on more than he already was, his face flushed and his eyes begging. You let him continue for a few minutes and then, when he next turned in response to your bell, you surprised him by pushing him onto the mattress.
“Ma’am?” he asked, voice trembling as you positioned yourself on his thigh and pushed his dress up.
“You made such a mess before, didn’t you? Ruined your panties and I’m afraid it’s spread to your pretty dress,” you showed him the patches on the inside of the skirt from where it had rubbed against the sheer fabric of his knickers and been stained. “Lucky for you I like messy little sluts. And” you palmed him roughly, “I think you like it too. Already hard again?”
Roger shook his head but tilted his head back and whined.
You placed your hand over his throat, “Don’t lie to me, Maid. I can see it; I can feel it. You’re a dirty little slut who gets off on being my property. My dumb little fuck doll.” You punctuated the last sentence by grinding against his thigh with each word, squeezing his length through his stained underwear. “I’m going to make you cum again now and if you’re good I might see about letting you eat me out. I did promise you a reward earlier,”
“Please,” Roger whimpered, “I’ll make you feel so, so good.”
“I know, Dummy. But not yet.” You squeezed his throat at the same time you rubbed your hand over his cock, choking off the moan that had begun to build. Roger squirmed under you as you wanked him off, cooing at him about how pretty he looked and how wet it was making you. Each stroke along his shaft was accompanied by a breathy whine or moan, his head tilted back and his eyes fluttering shut. It was always fun to watch Roger be pushed towards release when he was tranced. It was fun when he wasn’t hypnotised either but there was something about taking his brain away that made him more animated and vocal. He babbled at you again, his hand grabbing your wrist as he got closer, his back arching as he tried to buck his hips up into you.
“Good boy, good Dummy,” you praised him as he finished, able to feel the warmth of his release fill the material again as you kept stroking him, milking every drop you could. He whined loudly as he became more sensitive, but you kept toying with him until tears began leaking from the corners of his eyes.
“Alright, Dummy, stay there while I take my skirt off.”
Roger remained lying where you left him, so you gave him a soft kiss and wiped away his tears, praising him a little more, before you swung your leg over his face and finally let him have what he wanted.
It was as if you’d told him he’d won the lottery. He just about cheered as he thanked you repeatedly and then wrapped his arms around your thighs to pull you down onto his tongue. You had to stick out an arm to try and steady yourself as he devoured you, excitedly tracing your lips with his tongue, sucking them into his mouth. He hummed and whimpered against you and used his hands to encourage you to rock yourself against his mouth, spreading your wetness across his face. At one point, so giddy with joy, he giggled, and you jolted at the bizarre tickling sensation of his breath. But that just seemed to spur him on as he licked and sucked every inch of your cunt he could reach. You weren’t sure if his end goal was to make you cum or if he just got very excited and enthusiastic about pussy but, either way, the result was the same. It was impossible to hold back your release as his tongue slid along your folds and his lips latched onto you. He hummed as you gasped and tensed above him, refusing to stop until you pried his hands from your thighs and let yourself fall back to the bed. He pouted as if he wanted to throw a tantrum at having his favourite food taken away, but you managed to make him smile by telling him how incredible you felt and how good he was.
He let you lie down next to him and listened quietly as you talked him out of the trance, reminding him who he was and the reality of your situation. You waited as Roger opened his eyes, stroking his hair back from his face softly as everything returned to him.
“Wow,” was the first thing he said, “That was,” he cleared his throat and pushed himself to sit up, “that was something.”
“Yeah?”
“I mean, a very fun something,” he hurried to clarify so you wouldn’t worry, “I take it you enjoyed yourself too?”
You laughed and nodded, “Definitely. This is going to sound bad but I like being mean to you.”
“I get it,” he leaned over to kiss you softly, “I like being mean to you too.”
“And the pegging and free use stuff? All of that was okay? How do you feel now?”
“Oh, better than okay. That was brilliant. We’re definitely playing with them more in the future. Bit sore now and I really, really want to get out of this thong. Also take the plug out.”
“I can arrange that. D’you want some help with the plug?”
“Yes please.” Roger shifted onto his stomach, trying to relax so you could peel off the underwear and slowly wiggle the plug out of his arse, “Add these knickers to the list of ones I’ve ruined though.”
“That’s only cause I get such a kick out of making you cum in your pants.”
He hummed, wincing a little as the plug slipped all the way out, “y’know one of these days I’m going to wake up from a trance and decide to gag you with whatever underwear you made me destroy while I keep eating you out. I still have a bit of a lingering need to have my head between your legs and I do so enjoy overstimulating you.”
“Save that for a special occasion,” you laughed, giving his bum a tap to let him know he could roll over, “C’mon, shall I run us a bath?”
Roger nodded and let you pull him up, kissing you softly before he stood on slightly wobbly legs followed you out of the bedroom.
#my writing#my blurbs#or rather#my fics#roger taylor x reader#roger taylor smut#roger taylor imagine#lord have mercy#i need to lie down for 12 years after this#Anonymous#blurb advent 2020
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*sequel* to actual fucking quotes from the shiftblr coffeehouse discord server
once again, it's out of context because x1000 funnier
also x1000 longer than previous post
"ur satan is gnc af"
"Bestie I’m already having gender envy over a fucking demon please"
"O_O ODEPIJHFbavevisdpvfhzdcnjawedsidjksjdkoeirjfmkdsoeirujdksodifjndmksoidfjdksidfj
ITS" NOT IN MY FRAFTS
IS SPEDNT 1 hour PN THAT SHIT"
"AUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"
"ohoho sexy"
"I am very proud of myself"
"himbo x edgy fuck"
"YOU COULD SQUISH HES CHEECKS"
"he has teefs"
"SQUASH"
"good for biting 📷"
"he's a himbo basically"
"B͂̒̄iͫ̍̈tͧ̓ͯè̄̇"
"bifth"
"i havent watched blue exorcist in years but mr okumura my beloved </3"
"MY LIFE QUESTIONS HAVE BEEN ANSWERED"
"is it important information to mention that the person i put up for my turn is the son of satan"
"I know like 1 thing about everyone who isnt ranboo lmfao"
"crimes"
"tumblr sexyman"
"idk why but my first thought was cowboy onceler"
"I vibe with him but he is very long and twisty"
"steampunk e-girl"
"steampunk tumblr sexyman"
"Canonically bi crimelord I agree!!"
"OOO FRIEND SHAPED"
"ARTIST SIGHTED"
"they look like someone i would want to be friends with but is way cooler than me so i'd never actually talk to them"
"babby..... would die for him"
"honestly i probably kin him"
"i'm sure he's lovely but he looks way too much like my ex i'm sorry-"
"i'd be down for another rotation! i have another twink to show y'all"
"Also :00 blonde friend"
"Let us all infodhmo"
"Hsjagdvbs shhh im on phone"
"Nix woukd you like to joon?
"skitters away"
"I have two braincells and they both drink dumb bitch juice"
"oof wait whats the order again i have 0 memory"
"i want to bond with him over cosplay-"
"Awkwardly watches in band kid"
"One day I'm gonna a broadway star"
"which isnt to say they were bad. they were just fortnite dancing during rehersals"
"I threw it so hard my glasses flew off and slid under the stage right divider"
"anyway heres my boi"
"emo"
"haha emo"
"virgil sanders kinnie"
"he looks like he listens to my chemical panic at the fallout boy"
"Bro I bet he'd kick my ass with his deck"
"bird man my beloved"
"fuck i had so much to say and then i forgot it all"
"Birds!!"
"guiguhuh"
"crabrave"
"She sounds like someone I would end up stealing her personality"
"yess name collector gang"
"alias glass aiden haven absinthe fish brick rice"
"But I have Cypress, Remure, Genesis, Lemres, and Comet"
"And she's named after a mars candy bar bc alien"
"Hey, if plato went by plato, you can be king thief"
"im not dissing my gramma like that shfojd"
"My dad has seven legal names"
"bitches be like *looks at fictional character* *steals their name* it's us we're bithces"
"coraline lowkey traumatized me but i adore it regardless"
"mmmmmm magic man :]"
"°0° green man"
"criminal (affectionate)"
"he would shoplift a candy bar from walmart and then brag to all of his friends about the sick stealing he did"
"despite the fact he's canonically been capable of overpowering a minor deity"
"i would commit so many crimes for him"
"Very babey"
"Yes please tell green man he is very pog"
"he also keeps a lot of dumb secrets"
"but I will sorely miss the chaos and energy of this here chat until I wake again" (by request XD)
"i just say words and if they're funny then they're funny"
"* or extremly chaotic either works"
"at this point we are just taking turns rambling"
"oH--"
"bc my brain has a schedule"
"Hopefully they have gyoza there or I will lose my mind"
"hehe yes spooky man"
"my ghost glucose guardian"
"the head of the undead group that lives there, and we end up dating. (yes I date a ghost, no I will not be taking constructive criticism /lh)"
"ghosts r just inherently sexy"
"i mean im becoming a squid thing so"
"Raven quirk raven quirk!!"
"ł â m p"
"łæmp"
"mothman: ooh lamp you look very nice today! do you come here often? mothman: wait shit no"
"I'd date a ghost"
"mine is still accurate, i am still sobbing (/j)"
"p e e p e e"
""@nick wilde is a tumblr sexyman" is the best thing i have ever seen"
"im sorry im cackling like a dying hyena"
"you're all 12 year olds"
"PEENIE"
"He once caused global warming on accident so he could get a tan"
"god, what a himbo. i love him"
"that reminds me of my friends kin assigned me jesus"
"Man outside of battle be like: princely crying but then in battle hes like: "CATACLYSM! DISASTER! DEVASTATION!" Chill out man"
"Every time I talk about satan it never fails to shock people it's my favorite thing to do"
"im kin assigning him roman sanders"
""Oh yeah he caused global warming because he wanted to get girls" "he what""
"oh damn i forgot satan was straight"
"twink appreciation club"
"give us the twinks"
"my first thought was bottom-"
"so many people to try and get his dad to love him"
"daddy issued"
"OH MY GOD ITS WILBUR"
"Big boy but"
"anyways janus is swagggg"
"........................."
"gib twink"
"give twink then i will share"
"holds him gentle like hamburger"
"This dumb bitch opened a book that said "do not open" and got possessed by a little bastard"
"he is. fragile creachur"
"klug is beauty klug is grace i would let him step on my face"
"If I'm playing swap and I have to hear one more "Pwanet Powew" Im gonna lose it"
"Who is to blame? Pandora or the box?"
"Bakugo isnt my type but I respect the drip"
"i say like my type isnt long-haired pretty boys and girls that look so gnc that people have a history of confusing them for men"
"hes a gremlin and i can appreciate a pretty gremlin"
"that is to say i am attracted to VFlower vocaloid. This is a confession."
"note i am a lesbian"
"You may like Schezo wegey"
"why does he have one single expression"
"soul soul eater passes the vibe check"
"magic wand"
"I Want To Hold His Hand"
"i would commit a war crime for him any war crime idc which one"
"my favorite one is when he sounded rlly gay because he said "Muscular bodies keep me satisfied""
"p e a n u t"
"Klug is a homophobic homosexual its just facts"
"grug from the croods is peak male performance"
"jaw drops to floor, eyes pop out of sockets accompanied by trumpets, heart beats out of chest, awooga awooga sound effect, pulls chain on train whistle that has appeared next to head as steam blows out, slams fists on table, rattling any plates, bowls or silverware, whistles loudly, fireworks shoot from top of head, pants loudly as tongue hangs out of mouth, wipes comically large bead of sweat from forehead, clears throat, straightens tie, combs hair Ahem, you look very lovely."
"tag yourself im the fireworks shooting from the top of the head"
"i like essays"
"central time gang"
"11:11 pog-" (wait... is that a suprise angel number?? yes it is lovelies just for you <3)
"Then again im also a dumbass bitch who wonders what the souls in soul eater taste like. SERIOUSLY THOUGH. THEY LOOK TASTY AS HELL!!!! LIKE GODDAMN BRO YOU'RE MAKING ME FUCKING HUNGRY. Like. that shit- it's Bone Apple motherfucking Teeth. hell yea my guy. Im hongy now.... shlorp I'm seriously considering this. Like. They seem kinda like a liquid? But a solid? Are they like jello? The fuck they taste like my guy???? I keep imagining they're like sour, like sour candy maybe? Or do they taste salty? Sweet? Maybe some combo of two? Do they even have a taste or is it about the texture? The sensation? God my mouth is watering what the hell. I am starving. I think I need to go get a cookie. I'm gonna go get a cookie. Brb. I'm better. I'm still craving souls though. Which is a weird-ass cringey thing to say but I'm being dead-ass rn. They just.... look tasty???? And I wanna eat one. Thus. I am shifting to Soul Eater for the express purpose of satisfying my fucking cravings. enjoy"
"points were made"
"jello? more like helloooo schloooAHFJDSDAIDWNALDHSJKDAIDANDM"
"WAIT I THINK I HAVE AN ANIME GIRL BITING VIDEO TOO"
"anime girl voice: mmm! mm... ahhhhmp!! mmm, mmm... aaahmp!"
"i think it sounds great
i'm going to start eating like that"
"several people are typing"
"do these look edible to you"
"forbidden gummies"
"when I was on lsd I couldn't eat my fruit gummies because I thought they were alive because they had little faces on them"
"oh shit yeah don't do drugs"
"anyways general consensus is puyos are edible, ty for your input everyone"
"everypony is a word so powerful it can bring nations to its knees"
"pls the self control it's taking me not to say "hewwo everypony" in gen chat when someone new joins-"
"hewwo evewrypony uwu deaw cewestia i hopwe it doewsnt wain owo"
"ive cooked up a sowution wiwth the knowwege ive acwued. they say a kitcwen time saves niwne, but im just savwing two. Ive gathewwed the inwedients to make a time sowbet. Thewe's hawdly woom fow seconds when the seconds mewt away."
"I had a ten year old sister... you know what happened to her??? very sad, very tragic... she turned eleven....."
"NIIICE"
"Guts dont say the secks word :( /j"
"watch your fucking language in front of the president"
"im so sorry lumi"
"i think you're like ehhhh 8/10 funny"
"now me???? 10/10. Hilarious"
"sometimes i have to take a step back and remember that this is the same guts i follow on tumblr /lh"
""ok every here's some good shifting advice!!! uwu have a good day" "yeah i did lsd and ate fruit gummies""
"i have one setting and it's whatever this is"
"my bitch ass cat just pushed the door open with his fuzzy face and now my sleeping dad is being lulled into dreams by Cosmo Sheldrake's 'Pliocine'."
"me on discord: nick wilde"
"me on tumblr: shifting water! haha funne! me on here: my hermit crabs are cannibals also i want to eat souls."
"im sorry yOUR VIBESA RE JUST SO DIFFERNT"
"u give off older cousin ive never spoken to but always admire at the family gatherings vibes"
"what the fuck"
"BC I HAVE LIBERTU"
"If you adopt me then yes"
"am I qualified for dad jokes???"
"we're all a lot smarter on tumblr"
"I'm like "awww... sweet... sweet little shiftlings... posting such sweet shiftling content... so pure, so wholesome... does not even know abcs....""
"can't think before you speak if you never think B)"
"I'm not responsible enough to be a mom"
"cat pet"
"show us pictures of the cat or i will do Crime"
"maybe thats me being a coward tho"
"MOTH!!!! MOTH MY BELOVED"
if y'all want I can make this a series bc shiftblr keeps giving me more content
#tw drugs#tw swearing#tw cannibalism#tw crime#tw food#tw homophobia#shitpost#out of context#out of context quotes#lumi's quotes
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Just read ch 12 and 13, zavi a queen as always Caitlin trying to get jayce and the reader together nice. Caitlyn and Reader being besties/ caitlyn is like damn jayce you lucky
Viktor being mad and petty angers me cause it wasn't like consensual what happened with silco but i get it. Viktor is a jealous boy. And im sort of down. Im surprised the reader let jayce touch her, with the trauma of what happened
Jayce and reader tho. I never thought of it but now I'm like. . . Yes.
I'm worried about Silco trying to get the reader back. I love him but he's as moody as Viktor no telling what he'd do.
Dude caitlyn and reader being besties. Caityn also trying to get jayce and reader together would add to the chaos
Jayce is like that confused friend, who wants to be supportive but doesn't quiet get it lol. Just a scared Himbo vibe lol
The line between Viktor and Silco is a fine one ;3
Also Caitlyn is total bestie material!!!
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♦ for all three sons of York! 😄
Asked via the Headcanon Meme: https://lady-plantagenet.tumblr.com/post/634584063141920769/headcanon-meme.
Darling I apologise for the delay 😭😂, hope you enjoy this semi-historical train of thought. You indulge me xx ☺️☺️ (rest of you get ready for a similar level of uncalled for ridiculous levels of detail)
♦ - Quirks/Hobbies Headcanons
~Edward IV~
Ok, one more grounded in reality and some more Headcanonish:
So, in Lord Edward Lytton-Bulwer’s ‘Last of the Barons’ I uncovered a fascinating (and primary-sourced) fact about our Edward: He engaged in international trades of his own. Apparently, he had his own ships and vessels that would jettison wool to and fro Burgundy. The trading classes, with whom Edward was always on great terms, were initially thrilled and felt a bit of sense of connection because of this. However, it became a bit of a bother when his self-given exemption from custom and duties gave him an unfair competitive advantage. Since reading that, I’ve always seen Edward as someone whose hobbies revolve around these types of matters rather than military ones. I really headcanon trading as a genuine hobby of his. With that, I would also connect other practical as opposed to artistic or conventional pastimes. I always saw Elizabeth Woodville as the big account manager (based on how she ran her crown property), so I headcanon Edward as liking to meddle in the external more merchantile matters, which translates to enjoying himself by making wagers/bets with those around him and always winning whether it be on personal matters or businesses (sometimes even in appropriately on women of the court). Not to mention a talent at games like cards and dice. If he lived today he would be the grand master of monopoly 😂. He wasn’t the most intellectual of men (he was at one point planning on defunding Eton College to get funds), but I always headcanoned he was pretty strong at maths (which was part of a nobleman’s education, but at that time it was mastery of the arts that granted you the reputation of a smartman). Of course, this fits in with his historical interest in alchemy, which I headcanon he was also partly interested in because of the potential of it yielding gold, but upon his marriage, the mystical side beckoned him too.
~ George Duke of Clarence~
I’ve done one for him here, which you can check out. But hell, do I have a lot of headcanons about him so I’ll do another here.
Our George was by all accounts a talented demagogue. His performance in the inheritance dispute indeed adds stock to what chronicles such as Rous Rolls and Crowland have said about his oratory and reasoning talents (which allegedly were rival to Edward’s own). Though some personality quirks could make him appear like a bit of a (popular Headcanon nowadays) himbo: penchant for airing out his grievances, flamboyancy and a great pride which combined with a famous sense of humour leads to instances where it verges into innappropriate levels of macabre (his own death being the prime example).
N.b: and yes I do in fact believe he was drowned in a barrel of wine and by his choosing. I don’t need Shakespeare to tell me this, I need only look at the strong evidence proposing this: a) Margaret Pole’s barrel charm, b) The fact that his head was reported as attached to his body when his body was exhumed centuries later. Drowning in a bath is another possibility, but then again, it was famously a womanly execution and I doubt a man as self-important as George would have been alright with the association, c) The fact that contemporaries such as Mancini (among others) have stated that this is the manner in which he died. Shakespeare’s play just further reflects that at that time (as in closer to 1478 then we are now) this was the consensus. Not to mention that in Richard III he wasnt technically drowned but stabbed and then thrown in a barrel. Arguments against center around ‘this seems just a bit too crazy’ but stop there.
So where was I? Oh yes. So in spite of that, I headcanon teenage George as very resentful of those who thought him bumbling, giddy and unserious (young Richard especially), because well, he was very touchy about his pride and saw himself as a prince worthy of deference and gravity (multitude of evidence for this). His charming nature never left him even as he grew bitter but instead he learned to harness it into a mask in order to induce others into error and subestimation. Indeed, much of his earlier successes hinged on the fact that Edward didn’t expect that level of planning (and betrayal) from him. Nevertheless, he never hid his talents completely, he had a very astute legal mind and I headcanon him as having a hobby for the law since he was a young boy and realised how useful this knowledge would prove in time and loved it on an intellectual level as he engaged with debates on matters from trusts laws to constitutional canonical and jurisprudential matters, first with his tutors, then his brothers, then Warwick and then his chief supporters and friends at Warwick and Tutbury when he became a magnate post-1472. Of course, I feel like this fits in with the impression of an argumentative and opinionated man as exuded from the historical figure. I also headcanon him as being delighted to have had Caxton’s Games and Playes of Chess (1474) dedicated to him (becoming one of his patron around this time historically). It remains the second book printed in English (first being Anthony’s dictes and sayings of philosophers - I think) and I headcanon him as doing the head in of all those around him with discussions and debates around the book’s message XD.
~Richard III~
Richard gets a reputation in fiction (where other people get most of their headcanons from) as being extremely serious. I personally share this Headcanon and I feel it was the most striking difference between him and his brothers’ personalities. I think he had very little ‘quirks’ as it were. Though there was this author (haven’t read the book) Jonathan Hughes who somehow manages to write an entire book about Richard’s interesting divination. He draws onto some vaguely paganistic symbols among Richard III’s choice of clothing and such, and posits that he had some interest in pre-conquest Northern religious culture. Anne Neville who by all accounts seemed to have had some interest in mysticism (read and discussed Ghostly Grace by a German mystic with her mother-in-law at length) I headcanon bonded with Richard over conversing on these types of topics. Therefore, I headcanon him as having a (very very lowkey because, as I said, he took great care in presenting himself as conventional and unsuspicious) hobby for northern paganisms, myths, prophecies and the like. I think it would explain what appears to be the historical figures ‘apparent hypocritical personality: Only banning benevolences after first trying to acquire them, having Shore pay penance when he himself had fathered bastards (John probably during his first year of marriage if Kendall’s reasoning is right) and aspiring and holding others to strict chivalric values of which he often fell short. The signs of stress found in isotopic analysis on his bones however makes me think that he was aware of these contradictions. Of course, he could have been stressed around the time of his death for other obvious reasons, but I’m not getting into that here. I suppose my headcanon of him as very utilitarian (yes I know Bentham came centuries later but, you know, he didn’t exactly invent this manner of thought) in his beliefs classifies as a quirk? Haha. As for hobbies, I think his scoliosis made him eschew some of the more physically demanding types of sports, so I see him as fairly bookish and like his brother George, extremely interested in the law as a hobby (though nowadays we wrongly see it as a rather vocational discipline). Though he shared the interest in matters of jurisprudence with George (about which they both strongly disagreed Richard taking the less fiscally conservative stance), he was more interested in criminal law matters (which checks out as he had made reforms on the criminal law and bail). I think he was genuinely concerned with justice, just a bit self-contradictory in his approach and diverse in his spirituality (the last more headcanonish)
#to everyone: this meme is still open ☺️☺️#there you go sorry sorry for the delay#but as you can see I do love my detail#a bygone era#tagged that for AO3 future chapters reference#george of clarence#edward iv#richard iii#🍷❤️#will add read more function soon#basically I love them all#I love making fun of them but nothing will convince me that they weren’t indeed talented young men full of talents and smarts#which by all accounts accords with historical fact#george plantagenet
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Sunday Romance 04-05-21
Prompt: You found me
Word count: 1395
Tagging: @sunday-romance @sophiaroe @viawrites-andacts
I finally got started on Camp Nanowrimo which is occupying my mind more. However, here’s a little something. It sounded better in my head, but so it goes.
Christian unlocked the apartment door and tossed his keys onto the side table. He locked the door securely behind him before he flipped on the hall light. Another wild and exciting evening of takeout Indian and doom scrolling either through the TV or on his phone. Phone. He could call Jocelyn. He could try to explain, but he wasn’t sure that she would listen. He wasn’t sure he’d listen if he was in her shoes either. Christ, it was all completely fucked up and he knew it.
He headed for the combination kitchen, living, and dining room. The apartment wasn’t large, but it was clean and cheap. He could stay here incognito for a while as he and Nick figured out what to do. It would’ve been nice to have better internet. Then he could’ve spent some time mindlessly gaming. However, the connection here was wonky and he didn’t have his gaming machine. Probably for the best anyway. He put the takeout bag on the counter and opened up the fridge.
“For tonight’s choice of a lovely beverage we have either unsweet iced tea or sweet iced tea or water.” He practiced his announcing voice. “It’s a challenge, of course, but one I’m certain that our hero can muddle through.” He leaned down to reach into the fridge. “Let us see what he decides.”
“I’d go for the sweet iced tea.”
Jocelyn’s voice shocked him. He tried to stand, but instead he managed to slam his head into the fridge. “Ow! Shit!”
He backed out of the fridge and stood cautiously. He rubbed the sore spot on the back of his head. Jocelyn. She was here, sitting in one of the dining table chairs. It was turned away from the table and faced the kitchen. She was leaning back in her chair, her dark colored duster still around her. She had one leg crossed over the other while one hand rested on the table top. Her other arm slung over and behind the chair. She had a neutral expression on her face, but he doubted that she was neutral.
“Joce.” He managed to say her name without squeaking.
“Christian.”
She was mad. She only called him by his full name when she was angry with him. “You found me.” She shrugged, the dangerous No, Really, Tell Me Something I Don’t Already Know Shrug. “I mean, how?”
She smirked, the Angry as Fuck Smirk, another sign that boded poorly for him. “Wasn’t too hard. You aren’t as sneaky as you think.”
“Oh.” Disappointment flooded him.
“Though choosing a big city was smart. You’d stick out like a sore thumb in a smaller place. Also choosing this part of town was good. People like to keep themselves, don’t care too much about what their neighbors are doing.”
“It was clean and cheap.”
“Amazingly enough.”
“Anything else I should know in case I want to go on the lam again?”
She glanced away, but she couldn’t completely squelch her snort. “No. You actually did a decent job. Probably would’ve taken me longer to find you if I hadn’t gone straight to Plan B.”
That surprised him. “Which was?”
She settled a lethal gaze on him. “Threatening Nicholas with bodily harm if he didn’t tell me where you were.”
“And he gave me up?”
“Yes, and pretty quickly too.”
“Damn.” He looked down at the formica counter. “So much for having my back.”
“Oh, I wouldn’t be too hard on him.” He heard the chair move and creak as she stood. “I can be pretty intimidating.”
He looked up to find her standing on the other side of the counter from him. “Yes, you can be.” He meant for it to sound light, but he wasn’t sure he succeeded.
She smirked again, but this was more the I’m Supposed to Be Annoyed But Instead I Am Amused smirk. That was at least something positive. “Glad we can agree on that.”
He smiled back at her, but the smile faded swiftly. “So, what are you doing here?” he asked cautiously. “Here to kick my ass?”
She shrugged, the Trying to Keep All the Emotions Under Control Shrug. “Thought about it. Thought about it a lot. Nate was definitely in favor of that option.”
“Big brothers tend to be.”
“Yes. M couldn’t decide if I should or not.”
He raised an eyebrow in surprise. “Thought she’d be calling for my head on a silver platter.”
“She was, but then she thought that maybe I should listen to your side of the story.” She paused, looking away as she did. “Before I kicked your ass.”
“So the general consensus is that I need an ass-kicking.”
“So it would seem.”
“Then what are you going to do?” Uncertainty and apprehension dried his mouth as he waited for her answer.
Jocelyn faced him. She wasn’t smirking. There was no anger to her expression at all. She wore all her hurt on her face. His chest clenched and his stomach churned in ways that made him nauseous. Christ, this was worse than her being angry at him. Anger he could manage, but this hurt? This incredibly vulnerable and painful look on her face? That he had caused because he was an idiot? It slayed him, hitting him like a combination punch to the gut and heat.
She swallowed hard. “Ask you why you were so uncertain of me that you couldn’t tell me the truth.”
He closed his eyes, his chest so tight he couldn’t breathe. Of course she would see it that way. He should’ve known, should’ve said something, but he hadn’t so here they were. He looked up at her, wincing at her continued hurt. He opened his mouth, but nothing came out. He tried again, desperate for the words that wouldn’t send her to the door. He had so many lines memorized, but none of them would work. Because none of them were the truth and if anything, that was what she deserved. The truth.
“I wasn’t uncertain of you,” he finally managed.
“Then what?”
He looked away. “More I was uncertain of me.”
That surprised her. “Meaning?”
He swallowed, trying to find a way to ease the pressure in his chest. It wasn’t coming. “Meaning I wasn’t sure if you’d believe me.”
“And why wouldn’t I?”
“I don’t know. Most people haven’t.”
“I’m not most people.”
“No, you’re not.” He studied her, wanting desperately to believe that she did believe him. “So you believe me?”
“Dangerous question.”
He winced. “You don’t believe me?”
“Didn’t say that either.”
“Then what?”
She crossed her arms over her chest. “It’s a hard story to swallow and honestly, I was going to cut you loose because getting cheated on by a movie star is awfully cliche and I’m so not into cliches.”
“But…”
She stopped him by holding her hand up. “Then I decided that I couldn’t do that until I had the chance to kick your ass as thoroughly as it needed to be kicked which meant finding you for said ass-kicking which meant I had to talk to Nicholas since had decided to try and disappear.” Her arms dropped to her sides. “That gave him the chance to corroborate your side of the story, that it’s all some frame-up.”
There was that damn hope again easing up the pressure in his chest. “So you do believe me?” She just studied him, tilting her head as she did. “Joce,” he growled as she didn’t answer. Then she smiled, that special I Adore You Even If You Are an Idiot smile, and his chest lost its ache. “You believe me.”
“Yes.” She moved to the same side of the counter as him. “Because while you’re a brilliant actor, the rest of you is too much of a himbo to cheat on anyone.”
He looked at her skeptically even as he pulled her to him. “Thanks, I think.”
She grinned. “Take it as a compliment. It’s the only reason I believe you.”
“Done.” He kissed her hard, eager for the feel of her against him again. She kissed him back, no hesitation that he could sense. “Sorry.”
She shook her head. “Don’t be.” Her hand caressed over his cheek.
“So now what?”
She grinned. “We eat, we have some sexy times, and then we figure out how to take the bastards out.”
He grinned. “Yes, ma’am.”
#sunday romance#sunday love#sundaylove#my writing#jocelyn and christian#I never could figure out his transgression#thought about rewriting but am lacking the time#it is what it is
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