#sorry for the salt but sometimes for some people it's necessary
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We heard that a ban on TikTok might happen. Thats good news for plurals, especially those with DID. Why? TikTok has users who spread misinformation and add stereotypes to DID. They also put more attention on DID than they do OSDD, when OSDD is diagnosed just as often if not more. But because society always had a fascination with the dramatic amnesic switching that only occurs in DID, long before internet or social media existed and long before TV really, the media has always chose to focus on DID instead. This includes people on TikTok. We usually don't advocate for fakeclaiming and thats not what we're doing- we're just saying to take them with a grain of salt. Most people who post about DID on TikTok post themselves acting out dramatic switches to anime characters, dsmp characters, or different creatures. Sure, those types of alters exist in DID, but usually the host is too scared to share them with other people. And thats all these people post themselves switching to. Then, the switches are so acted out "Where am I? Oh, there's a camera? Hey yall I guess I switched!" When we switched on camera, it was before we even knew about DID and before I the host was aware of the alters fully. I tend to have slient staring episodes when I talk irl, and when I switched on camera I thought I just had those staring episodes. Then I'd try to piece together where I left off and some of the details would be missing. Now, if we switch on camera we'd brush it off the same and not let anyone know a switch happened. And these people who act out DID on TikTok- they also dramatically act out pre-switch. They act like theyre falling asleep then suddenly they dramatically act out waking up. Opening and rubbing their eyes, looking around confused. I've seen videos with multicolored motion blur filters during their acted out switches. But people acting out DID on TikTok dont just glorify switching. They also post about their protectors or persecutors being assholes in general in a quirky way. "My protector alter is so mean to some people! Lets make a comedy sketch of that for TikTok!" If protectors are mean to other people, its because they remind the protector of trauma or past danger so the protector is trying to ward them off. "My persecutor is a bully to other people, if you got a rude message thats my persecutor sorry about that." That's now how persecutors work. Persecutors attack the system, usually the host. Persecutors usually bully the host in an effort to instill the "lessons" learned from abuse because its what the persecutor sees necessary. Theyre misguided protectors. And sometimes, you'll find a person acting out DID on TikTok who glorifies dissociation. Not the memory gaps for trauma or certain months or years, but depersonalization and derealization. They use all these hazy, blurry filters and talk about "being in headspace." Or make derealization seem quirky. While being in headspace is a real part of DID/OSDD, its overly glorified and overly expected. People act like having a headspace is another normal part of DID like alters are. Not every person with DID or OSDD has a headspace. These people on TikTok spread more misinformation and spread the same stereotypes. They've also made more stereotypes in the process. Now, because of these misinformed people on TikTok, a whole subbreddit uses the DID side of TikTok to prove why most people who claim to be a system are "faking." TikTok has largely contributed to syscourse all across social media and in real life. Its made other systems unsure if other systems around them are faking. Its made systems think theyre faking it themselves in a disorder that already comes with denial. So if TikTok is banned, it would be a good thing for all systems. Its always been a mental illness and neurodivergence glorifying site anyway.
#dissociative identity disorder#actually dissociative#other specified dissociative disorder#osddid#dissociation#syscourse#tiktok has damaged society's view of DID#and theyre always glorifying DID they never spread awareness for OSDD
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Girl you destroyed me with kabukimono's fic like..after all of this fluff and strong emotions you gonna end me like this?😭 you made me feel safe with the whole thing only to find out the angst suddenly slapping the shit out of me😭😭😭 and broo brooooo why the last fic? Why instead of giving me some comfort you put more salt😭😭😭😭 I refuse to believe it in my head they are reunited and healing together😭😭😭😭 (now enough with it) girl your fic was so awesome it really moved my heart and played with my emotion and when this happens you can be so sure that it was a damn great one, you are an amazing writer thank you so much for giving us such a masterpiece💜 I hope in the future you write more for wanderer he is now my favourite character thanks to you and your beautiful mind. Please have a good day and stay safe💜
M~
OMG THANK YOU SO MUCH 😭❤️ ahhhh THIS IS SO NICE I'm really happy you liked the series so much 🥺 And i am truly sorry about hurting you like that- but you know, sometimes the angst is necessary... 🏃♀️ ehehe! (and dw in my head they're alive and healing too 🥰) And omg it's a pleasure to know my little series had that much of an impact on you! It makes me so happy to hear that my writing managed to move people that much 🥺 thank you for being such a sweet reader!! And the way i made Wanderer your fav character???! I'm honored. I'm really glad i made you like him that much, i love him and i love seeing others love him too 💗 You take care of yourself too❤️
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Oh hey, I realised I can just ask for advice!
(Note: This is (mostly) not ebegging (nothing wrong with ebegging, just wanna be clear) even if it may sound that way in the first section. Please keep reading. It's pretty long tho, sorry. I'll put it under a cut as I am planning to pin it but please, please read it, especially if we're mutuals. Reblogs are welcome, especially within the german blogosphere, but don't feel obligated.)
So as some of you know, my flatmate has locked me out of the kitchen because I didn't have money for groceries and thus kept eating his food. This includes the electric kettle, microwave and most cutlery but I did accidentally keep a spoon that I still have now. (I have a small bottle of dish soap so yes, I can reuse it as I do still have bathroom access.)
I have since received my first unemployment payment which, due to my previous (necessary) overconsumption is mostly gone again now. I have 20€ and change (cash so paypal and my other debtors can't seize it) left for the rest of the month (new unemployment payment should arrive on the 1st) but I'm struggling to make it stretch.
I've been trying to search up advice on this but couldn't find anything useful. If you have links or anything, that'd be awesome. Here's the key points:
I live in Germany so subject to the German costs of living. Because I also can't afford public transport fare, my store choice is pretty much limited to a small-ish Rewe nearby. There's also a Mäc Geiz and a pharmacy but ofc those aren't grocery stores.
I do not have food allergies but I am a vegetarian and unless I'm literally dying, this situation will not change that.
As mentioned I have no access to a kettle, a microwave, a stove, a fridge or any of that. I do have access to my popcorn machine (many years of trusty service, real mvp) but that's it. I have access to a spoon and a sharp knife. Not a chef's knife tho. I do not have access to spices.
My mental health is still very bad, I cannot leave the house some days and I don't think I'd be able to do anything elaborate. Thus, whatever I eat has to be easily (or not at all) prepared but not easily perishable.
At this point, my standards are very low. My current main thing is eating unheated canned food but I'm prepared to eat basically anything I can stomach (excluding meat, as mentioned) in any way that is possible for me. I'm eating unseasoned chickpeas out of a jar right now. They're actually pretty good. I also (under normal circumstances) sometimes eat dry pasta for funsies so that might give you an idea.
I eat a lot. Less at the moment but still above average. I need plenty of carbs or I will still be hungry after. Essentially, pretend I'm feeding two people here.
I keep craving salt. I'm usually decent at telling what foods my body needs by cravings so I've been eating many crisps since I no longer have a spice cabinet. But they're 'spensive. I've also been craving eggs but I have no way to indulge since afaik boiled eggs are only sold around Easter. Also fruit juice but I can eat some vitamin gummies I still have instead, that'll probably be fine.
As stated, the budget is 20€ for 1½ weeks. I do have a bit of food already, some Zwieback, a pack of Leibniz cookies, a small jar of applesauce, a (hopefully not too spicy) can of chili sin carne, stuff like that. Also some hardtack I made months ago and just now remembered, but not a lot of it and I have no way to soak it, tho I might be able to clean an empty can.
While I'm not hoping to inflict permanent damage on my body, I am willing to take a few more risks than I usually would. That said, I can barely handle one or two short grocery trips a week so foraging isn't a good option at the moment. Also, laundry situation is difficult rn so avoiding diarrhea would be awesome 👍
While I am unemployed and legally homeless (I just haven't left yet) I have no documentation for this at the moment. I mention this because some food banks and similar require such documentation. Also, again, I have a very low travel range rn (like... 200m. 500 on a good day) but if you know like some kind of... delivery food bank?? that exists in Bavaria (dm me for the city) that would be incredible.
No, I can't get a job. I literally just tried that (again) and have reached a personal new low as a result. There were some in-between steps (like that fucking clinic) but yea, that's not an option. No, not even home office. No, not even freelance.
This one might seem entitled but. I cannot keep eating the same thing. I do have my samefoods (tho I cannot cook pasta rn for obvious reasons) but especially lately, eating the same thing for more than two or three days in a row has been low key driving me insane. Might be because I've been mostly cut off from society for months, might be because my body is sick of it, who knows. But I need variety. Same thing twice a week is fine, but more than that is pushing it. I'm very sorry.
As stated, this is not an ebegging post and I want nobody to feel any kind of obligation but if we're mutuals and you have a German bank account (or Schengen and are willing to pay the fee) and you desperately want to, you may dm me about it. But you do not have to!!! And I literally only say this because I know what it feels like to be on the other end of this. No, paypal is not an option, I'm triple digits in the red there. Water droplet on a hot stone etc.
What I am looking for is advice, especially from people who have dealt with severe financial issues and/or homelessness/kitchenlessness before. I've been kitchenless before but I had a fridge, microwave and somewhat reasonable money then so it didn't really prepare me. You can either comment or reblog directly or you can dm me or send me an ask. Anon is enabled.
Either way, thank you so much for taking the time to read all this! I love you, may you have a good day <3
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Swordplay - Kageyama Tobio
AU: Fantasy/Medieval (Medieval Fantasy?)
Requested
Tags/ Warnings: GN! Reader, OOC of Kageyama?? Maybe?, some violent descriptions, I don’t know much about fighting so please take what I wrote about it with a grain of salt
Word Count: 14k +
Prologue
The tip of your father’s sword was cold against the under of your chin as he tilted your head up.
You glared at him from your spot on the ground, wishing for nothing more than to be the one holding a blade to his neck.
To do that you needed to do better. You wanted to be better.
“One day, you’re going to need to know how to fight,” he said, slightly flicking his wrist, adding pressure to the point of the dulled blade. You gritted your teeth as you felt a small drop of blood drip down your neck and onto your chest. “This is not something you can learn from one of your books. Get up.”
You shoved his blade aside and scrambled to your feet. You didn’t need to be on the ground for your father to look down at you—it was his natural state. Being the heir to an entire kingdom had its perks, but it also had its responsibilities and pressures, maybe even too much sometimes. And for your father, one of those responsibilities was learning how to defend yourself.
Deep inside, you knew that he was doing this in your best interest. You just wished that he had a different way of showing it. A scowl of disappointment marked his face as he picked up a rag and wiped off the sweat from his forehead, a look was consistently aimed at you; whether you did something to be proud of or failed miserably, there it was, staring at you.
His friendly, cuddly side was reserved for the public and the people who worked in the palace. Often you wondered if you made up the smile you saw him wear when other people were around.
Calmly, you walked over to where your sword had fallen. You bent down and grasped it tightly by the hilt. The longsword weighed heavily in your ten-year-old hands, but you took a deep breath, took a ready stance, and raised it.
“Are you just going to stand there?”
You swore that The King smiled in return.
You opened your front door, peaking your head out to look down either side of the hallway.
“He’s not here yet.”
You stood upright at the sound of the voice and stepped fully out of your room. You feigned a naive, dreamy expression. “I don’t know what you are talking about, Sawamura.”
The knight snorted, moving his hand to rest on the pommel of his sword. He pulled the door closed behind you and took his place near the right side of it. “Sure you don’t, Your Highness.”
You scrunched up your nose and leaned against the wall on the other side of the hallway. You crossed your arms over your chest. “Is this really necessary,” you mumbled.
“To your father, it is.”
You averted your gaze from Sawamura and focused down at your shoes. You’ve heard the speech a thousand times, but when was your father going to listen to you and believe you when you said that you could handle yourself? You weren’t a ten-year-old anymore. You weren’t going around picking flowers and giving them to palace guards who you thought had pretty eyes.
You were capable, both as the next heir and in protecting yourself. The King must have known that.
Sawamura sighed and went to stand by your side. Though you wanted to ignore him, you could hear the clinking of his armour from a mile away.
“The King is just doing this as an extra precaution. He’s worried, (Y/N).”
You balled your hand into a fist. “All of you keep telling me that, but you don’t actually tell me what’s going on.”
Sawamura didn’t say anything.
“I mean,” you pushed off the wall, turning to face him, “I could make some educated guesses, but nothing beats actually knowing.”
“I’m sorry,” he said, his voice low, “but I can’t tell you. I would if I could.”
You quirked a brow. “Even if it was an order?”
Sawamura paused. “Your order wouldn’t be as high as the King’s, (Y/N).”
“I know.”
Sawamura nudged you with his elbow. “At least you’re about to have some better company than me.”
The familiar steps echoed in your ears as an unconscious smile made its way to your lips. “You’re not horrible company,” you said, keeping your eyes trained on the blue-haired knight making his way down the hall.
“Why thank you, Your Highness.”
“And I haven’t seen him in a while. I think he might be avoiding me,” you added, watching Kageyama come closer to the both of you. You met his eyes for a moment and smiled. A small hesitation in his step made you furrow your eyebrows, but he continued naturally after a second and you were sure that if you hadn’t been looking, you would’ve missed it.
Sawamura clicked his tongue. “I’m sure he isn’t.”
You were sure that Sawamura was keeping something from you. You pressed your lips together and took a step closer to him to ask about it, but he wordlessly bowed to you and took off down the hallway to meet Kageyama halfway.
You held your tongue and watched them exchange a few words with Sawamura making a pointed look your way over his shoulder. Kagayama raised his head and met your eyes. He turned away quickly and inclined his head back to Sawamura.
You took a liking to Kageyama since he started as a squire a few years ago and now he was a knight. One of his first duties was to guard you, and you found him rather annoying at first. He didn’t really talk much and whenever you would start conversations they would be shot down. He’d have a stoic expression on his face and answer your question reluctantly or with a pinched look on his face. You thought he was rather rude.
However, once you asked him about it, his answer was rather simple: he had a hard time soiclizing among the other knights he had trained with. You knew that it was a burtral process to become a knight and sometimes it was hard to gel with others and Kageyama fell victim to that. When he did become a knight and started his duties with the knights at the palace, he had gotten better (you confirmed that with Sawaumra).
Another small reason was that he didn’t expect to be guarding you at first — a member of the royal family — and had heard rumours from the other trainees that the royal family were vicious when it came to dishonour and gave punishments accordingly.
Once it was clear that you weren’t going to behead him at a moment’s notice, Kageyama became a lot more comfortable with you.
You considered that the first building block in your dynamic with him.
But you were sure that he was avoiding you. Though his first period at the palace was being your personal guard, that ended for unknown reasons to you and guards began rotating for you. Even with the King’s extra protection now, you felt as though you only saw Kageyama less and less.
“Anything interesting happening?” you asked, cocking your head towards him as he walked to you. “Anything worth mentioning?”
Kageyama blinked, clicked his tongue and leaned closer to you. “I’m not telling you what Sawamura said or what your father told us.”
You shrugged. “I had to try.”
He sighed. His eyes glanced at you and then back to the door. “You’re not going to go back into your room are you?”
“Unlikely.”
“You should.” Kagayama said quickly. He opened his mouth to speak but stopped himself. His hand lifted as if it had a mind of its own and then stiffed, finding its place back at his side curled up into a fist. His eyes flickered briefly before he looked away from you and in a low voice said, “It’s the safest place for you.”
“I know where the safest places are for me. It doesn’t mean I have to, or want to, stay in them.”
Kageyama pushed off the wall, glaring at you. “It’s your life at risk you know.”
At the tip of your tongue was an un-royal comment, but then it dawned on you. You had your guesses, but the knight in front of you confirmed it. “Someone threatened to kill me then?”
Kageyama closed his eyes and let out a string of curses. “(Y/N)...”
You smiled—what you hoped to be reassuring, but from the look on Kageyama’s face, you could tell it wasn’t close at all—and nodded your head. “It’s okay. I kind of figured it would be something like that.”
“Are you—?”
“Don’t worry,” you said, “I won’t tell anyone you said anything.”
“That’s not what it was going to say.”
For the first time, you didn’t want to see his dark blue eyes looking into you. You wanted to lie in bed and drown in the pillows and soft sheets.
He tentatively grabbed your wrist and tugged on it. “Let’s go.”
“What? You’re the one who said I had to stay here.”
“I’m with you, so it’s fine.”
You opened your mouth to say something but were rudely interrupted as he started pulling you down the hallway. Your eyes glued to the slight swaying of his black hair and the warmth of his hand around your wrist. All of the reasons you liked him seemed mute when you compared the fact that you felt safe and comfortable with him. You’d let him drag you anywhere without question, knowing that nothing bad could happen.
A silence lapsed over the both of you. You ignored the strange looks from the other guards, hoping that none of this would get back to the King…that would be an awkward conversation. Definitely a hard one to explain.
Kageyama pushed through familiar doors and walkways. You could tell where you were going even before you were standing in the middle of the training room. Do you know that spot? You were tempted to say, that’s the spot where the King almost cut off my arm. That sword rack? Yeah, I crashed into it from time to time. That stain of blood on the floor? Probably mine.
“Here.”
Kageyama offered you a practice longsword by its hilt. The edges were dulled, but it could still hurt if you meant it too. You stared at it and then moved your gaze back up to the blue-eyed boy.
“What are you doing?”
“You don’t want to be stuck in your room, right? Take the sword. I’ll teach you.”
You tilted your head to the side. “Are you only doing this because you feel bad for me?”
Kageyama filiped the blade in his hand. “What if I am?”
You let out a long breath. Were the fundamentals of sword fighting appealing to you? Not in the slightest. Not being stuck in your room? Being “taught” by your favourite knight? That could have some perks. Besides, what was life without a little bit of fun?
You grasped the hilt of the sword. You let your shoulder drop a little so the tip of the sword collided with the ground. The familiar weight in your hand brought you both a sense of comfort and anger. The amount of times you held this sword greatly outweighed the times you had a decent conversation with the King.
Kageyama reached out and grasped the hilt of the sword, his rough hand covering your own. “Careful,” he said.
His eyes met yours, widening slightly. How is it even possible for someone to have eyes like that, a deep blue ocean that could surely whisk you away at any moment? You wondered how long you could get lost in them—you definitely spent a lot of time thinking about them. What’s a little more?
His hand jerked back.
“It’s okay,” you said, your face feeling hot, “you’re trying to teach me, right? Don’t worry about it.”
He nodded and cleared his voice. “Here, then.”
Your eyes never left him as Kageyama moved to be by your side. He took your free hand and guided it to the hilt of the sword, wrapping it around your other hand. You raised the sword as he instructed. His fingers trailed down and lingered lightly on your forearm, tracing an unrecognizable pattern on your skin. A shock went through you and spread throughout your body like fireworks spreading throughout the sky.
“Longswords are held with two hands.”
He took a step closer to you, pressing his body into your side. He was warm, comforting.
At this, you turned to him. You were close enough to feel the rise and fall of his chest as he took a deep breath. His cheeks weren’t flushed, nor did they show any sign of embarrassment or regret. Your eyes searched his. They were steady and clear, an ocean at a lull.
Kageyama’s hand stilled on your skin. He took a step back.
“I’m sorry, Your Highness.”
You let the sword drop. “Kag—”
“Maybe you should carry a weapon on you.” He cleared his voice, his eyes travelling down to the sword in your hand. Despite the pounding in your chest, you forced yourself to study his face. An inscrutable expression rested there—a mask that every knight that served the King wore. “I’ll find something for you.”
Without sparing you another glance, he turned and walked over to the weapons rack.
You clenched your jaw. The blade in your hand felt suddenly more deadly. Longswords were meant to be held with two hands, but you were sure that you could cut off his head cut with one.
“Knight.” Your voice came out like royalty, commanding and loud.
Kageyama froze. He turned to you, his posture went rigid and a blank look on his face. He was ready to serve. Ready to fight. “Yes, Your Highness?” His words were soft and airy like a Sunday morning.
Your heart dropped. This is how things were going to be, weren’t they? Even if you followed the way you felt, the way your spirit would lift when you saw his familiar black hair in the hallway, the way that you would feel safe and at ease with him like stepping into a spring breeze, the chain of command wouldn’t change between you two. You were always going to be the heir — eventually the Queen — and Kageyama was a knight. Were you even friends?
“Nevermind.”
Kageyama’s lips pressed into a thin line. “As you wish.”
When you were eighteen, there was a period where you weren’t allowed to leave your room. It might have been because the King found out that you were sneaking out to wander around town, to which you and the knights guarding you got an ear full of.
Kageyama had ceased being your personal guard, but he was still in the rotation, and thankfully not a part of the guards you evaded. That would only add to the guilt you felt that you got them in trouble. You took as much heat off of them as possible, but the king was rather ruthless when it came to your safety. You were never sure what that was about, but you made your guesses. It wasn’t like he told you anything anyway.
You learned in that time that the window from your bedroom had the greatest view of the town below. When the sun set, you watched groups of people travelling from place to place and soon after witnessed fights in the streets. During the early morning and day, you watched couples taking walks and businesses thrive and fall in the market.
The most interesting day was when you saw a familiar black-haired boy going up to the flower stand of an elderly lady. They talked for a bit before he walked away with a bundle of red and pink flowers.
Whoever got them would be a lucky person, you thought.
You smiled. You remembered you thought that about him before, when he first came to the palace the year before.
His hair had been shorter but he only grew taller. You spotted him at the ceremony where the king would be introduced to the new knight and give final approval to them. You had sat there begrudgingly, but that changed once your eyes met his deep-blue ones.
You saw him steal glances at you but your eyes had never left him. He follows his duties and final tests without hesitation, distraction, or failure. It was that day too, that the King told you he would be your new personal guard until further notice.
You turned as grumbled voices and three sharp knocks tapped on your door.
You crossed your room and opened it. At the foot of your door was a bouquet of red and pink flowers. You peaked your head out the doorway and saw Kageyama’s fleeting figure round a corner.
The note attached to it read:
For Your Highness who is stuck inside.
You’re not missing much, the outside isn’t that great.
It was the first time you laughed since your confinement.
The dark sky was starless, making the evening scratch into an endless night. You and the King sat in a long dining room, clearly made for more than two people. A bright candle chandelier hung from the centre of the ceiling and the walls were decorated with paintings — random scenes of waterfalls and naked people in clouds or standing on rocks. You’ve never understood them, if you could understand any aspect of art, but had appreciated the work that was put in them.
Tall wooden chairs were pillars at either end of the table; your father sat in one. On either side of the table, running the length of it, were regular unimportant chairs; you sat in the one to your father’s right. The food had already been laid out, no servers or guards were in the room, but you knew better and could sense the guards on the other side of all of the doors and patrolling past the windows and into the courtyard.
The King gulped down a sip of wine. After another beat of silence, he asked, “How was your day?”
Interesting, you wanted to say, it wasn’t every day that Kageyama would try and teach you sword fighting, but you didn’t know if you wanted to share that just yet. It was like a whisper, only meant to be heard between one another.
You pushed some food around your plate. You didn’t want to start a fight, but the words were already out before you could stop them. “It would be a lot better if I wasn’t confined to my room.”
A moment passed. The King didn’t touch anything else on his plate but looked rather amused. An unfamiliar gleam sparkled in his eyes; one you hadn’t seen in a long time and didn't know if you wanted to see because it felt out of place.
“From what I heard, you spent a lot of time in the training room.”
Your blood felt like ice as heat rose to your cheeks. “How—?” But the answer died on your lips.
Kageyama. He was a knight and knights reported to The King. But so does everyone, you thought, as your mind went back to the line of guards you had passed along the way to the training room. You placed your fork down, feeling as though you were viciously kicked in the chest. Why had your mind first gone to Kageyama? “Okay.”
The King frowned, his eyes glossing over as if he were at a loss. “Training, then?”
“You could say that.”
“I think it’s good that you’re still keeping up with it. Wouldn’t want to waste any skill.”
“Yup.” You tilted your head towards him again. “Are you ever going to tell me what’s happening?”
The King placed his silverware down carefully. “(Y/N)...”
“You’re always the one telling us that you have to know all the information before going into anything.” You shook your head. “You taught me to protect myself, too. Instead, I’m escorted to dinner with five guards and I can barely go outside without someone telling me I should go back inside.”
“It’s not about you protecting yourself. I know you can. I’m trying to protect you,” he said softly.
“I don’t need it. I don’t need people following me around. I don’t need this. Being King doesn’t mean you're always right.”
“I’m your father too.”
A heavy silence fell between the two of you.
“You’re a King and you’ll always be one,” you whispered
Dinner ended shortly after that.
You laid in your bed, staring at the ceiling. A rather large set of french doors, blinded with heavy velvet currants, leading out into a balcony, stood to your left. Gold crown moulding ran the perimeter of it, engraved neatly with an assortment of flowers and flames.
After dinner, you were escorted back to your room with six guards, which wasn’t surprising. Surprisement was laced in The King’s absence of anger. Your comments were usually enjoyed or indulged by the people around the palace except with him. Every misplaced word and small quip were frowned and yelled upon.
But had gotten away with two at dinner.
Something was seriously wrong.
You turned to your side, facing your balcony, reduced to counting the flowers. The open space just beyond the doors was borderline rude. However, you weren’t stupid; as much as you complained and protested, you weren’t going to go against the orders placed on you — at least not yet. You would bide your time and patients. The King had information you didn’t and even if you didn’t agree, you knew he wouldn’t do things without reason.
Annoying reason, but reason nonetheless.
There was a light tapping against the door.
You ignored it, but didn’t make another sound.
A slight rustle. A word of speech. A louder knock on the door. A clink of armour getting further away.
You waited another moment. Silence. You pulled yourself from your bed and towards the door, poking your head outside. A different guard stood at your door, but the hallway was otherwise empty. The slightest smirk on his lips.
“Was someone else here?” you asked.
“Why would you think that?” he deadpanned.
“Tsukishima.”
“Yes, Your Highness.” His words were drawn out, said in a mocking tone. Nothing like the way Kageyama said it.
You barely got a foot out of the door before Tsukishima interrupted you.
“I wouldn’t do that,” he said.
You retreated your foot and huffed. “Not you too.”
He shrugged. “Well, those are the orders, but not exactly what I was referring to.” Tsukishima cocked his head towards the ground in front of you.
Two carefully wrapped and placed objects in front of your feet. You picked them up, biting the inside of your cheek.
“So there was someone else out here.”
He laughed. “How do you know they’re not from me?”
“Purely because you're laughing at me.”
“Not so much at you, but at the person who left them.”
You rolled your eyes and took a step back into your room.
“(Y/N)?”
You glanced outside once more. Tsukishima, despite being on friendly — most of the time snide — terms with him, was true to his word as a knight. You trusted him as much as every other knight you had befriended, including Kageyama. Which was why whenever one of the knights called you by your name, even when they weren’t supposed to, you never stopped them. It made you feel more human than being called a title.
“Yes?”
Tsukishima furrowed his eyebrows as if he were going to regret what he was going to say. He didn’t look at you when he said, “They’re trying their best, you know. Trying to keep you safe.”
You felt like you’ve had this conversation before. “Knowing will keep me safe.”
“Perhaps,” he said, his voice calm, almost indifferent. “You are going to be Queen one day, which means you’re going to have to bear the weight I see on your father every day. It’s a lot to handle, more than you probably know now even with all the training that is meant to prepare you for it.”
Tsukishima left his post to stand right in front of you. “If you want to know so badly, at the bare bones, someone did threaten your life and it’s being taken seriously because it was a serious threat.”
The same sinking feeling you experienced earlier that day settled once again. You wondered about all of the times you want to go outside only to be deterred back inside. All of the times where your guards would quicken their pace to sad beside you instead of hanging back or out of sight.
“Did knowing make you feel better?” he went on.
It did not.
“I know that you can handle yourself, (Y/N). You are definitely as strong as The King, maybe even more, and he knows it too. I don’t want to defend his way of dealing with things, mainly because he could probably have me beheaded for telling you anymore — Kageyama told me he let something slip. I agree that you should know.”
“Thanks,” you whispered, barely believing it.
“You are the next ruler, yes. But you’re also the only person your father has left. How long are you going to blame him for trying to protect you?”
His words were said into a well, reflecting back to you in a distant echo. You smoothed out the paper that wrapped the unknown items.
“He’s all that I have left too.”
You shut the door.
The palace had settled for the night. The torches in the hallways were low and the guard rotation became more frequent. The night brought darkness and the darkness brought the unknown, one that you knew your father wouldn’t leave unguarded.
This time, you were watching the candles burn on your nightstand, the gifts that Kageyama left you sat beside it, still wrapped. You reeled in the fact that Tsukishima had a point and it filled you with hatred, both for himself and you.
What an ass, you thought.
You knew that you were right, you deserved to know something involving you, but Tsukishima was also right. Another hard part was figuring out how to coexist in the middle of it.
You sat up, draping your legs over the edge of your bed. Hesitantly, you reached for one of the packages and turned it over in your hands. It was in a long rectangular box and didn’t feel heavy in your hands, but you could tell what it was before you even opened it.
The smile on your face was reluctant, drawn out of you like being tortured for information. Guilt flooded through you when you opened it. A neatly placed dagger laid on top of a satin cushion. The blade was long, shimmering silver, and sharp. Engravings of flowers and flames graced the silver handle in a way that was exceptionally beautiful but didn’t interfere with the way you would grip the handle. Something about it seemed oddly familiar.
Where could Kageyama get something like this? It hadn’t been a full twelve hours since you last saw him in the armoury.
You placed the dagger on your night stand and the access packaging beside you. The bigger of the two boxes was tried together with string. A black leather sheath was the first thing you saw. It was a loose belt with a holder attached on one side, something just big enough to hold a dagger. Did Kageyama just have all of these things laying around? Did he have an arts and crafts hobby that you didn’t know about?
The next object in the package was a book bound in brown leather. Embossed on the cover was the title: The Basics of Swordplay. You glanced at your bookcase. You had a copy already, but there was no way you were going to Kageyama that. This would be your new and only copy.
You’ve only read it once, when the King first taught you how to use a sword. But it was a part of your personal collection now because a small bookcase had to be attached to the servant’s door wall. Without it, you could clearly see the outline of the door which you thought was dangerous — letting other people know there was another way into your room. No one has used the passages for a while, the King and you preferred people using the main hallways.
You opened the cover and Kageyama’s scrawly handwriting inked the first page of the book.
To Your Highness,
For future reference.
Always protect yourself.
The pages were frayed, ripped at the edges, and soft to the touch; discoloured in places from the light, but very much readable. The leather bounding looked brand new, but you could tell that the spine of the book had been broken in a few places. It felt more precious than a new copy. It felt loved.
Kicking your feet back on the bed, you placed the packaging on the ground. You propped up pillows against your headboard and leaned back. You skimmed through the table of contents. All of the subjects and concepts were familiar to you; the differences between types of swords and how to hold them, different forms and defensive movements, and strategies. It was based on theory, which could only take a person so far, but, like Kageyama had said, it was good for reference.
You flipped to the section on how and when to wield daggers. Only a couple of pages in the chapter, handwritten notes and scribbles appeared in the margins. The writing was bunched together and slanted as if it was written in a patient hurry. It was nothing like Kageyama’s.
You furrowed your eyebrows and sat up straighter. The old ink crossed out printed words and replaced them with the person’s own notes and ideas. There were some hard to make out add-ons to the printed drawings in the book, but in line breaks and spaces, there were inked drawings of sword forms and hand movements. There were things that you never thought of or were taught. It stated small things, tiny changes to things you already did.
The candle at your bedside had grown low, going dangerously near the candle holder. You heard the subtle movement of Tsukishima changing with another guard. Flipping through the rest of the book, you saw the same handwriting in the margins, sometimes mixed with Kageyama’s.
At one of the end pages, another note was written.
To my grandson,
Learn to protect yourself and others to your last breath
It was hard to look at Kageyama the next day. He was waiting outside of your door, bright and early, which was horrible because you stayed up reading the book he got you and running your hands over both inked dedications. You almost didn’t notice that the candles had burnt down to the nub, but you didn’t start a fire and were quick to replace them, which gave you extra points in your book. Even when you decided to get some rest, your mind was wandering through the book and into what you thought your life was.
Kageyama had to know his grandfather’s dedication was in the back. Had it been something passed down? Was it a gift? Why did he give it to you? It was at that point when you realized you didn’t really know anything about his family. He had always just been Kageyama — the guard with blue eyes who listened to you ramble while he stood outside your door.
You saw the difference between Kageyama the knight and the Kageyama who you thought was your friend, but how could he be your friend when you didn’t know anything about him? Was there another Kageyama that you didn’t know about?
But then…what else did you know about the other knights? Tsukishima? He was an ass, but he had left a family to come here, right? So did Sawamura and everyone else you had called a friend.
Were they just nice to you because of who you were? If they were…were you just alone? Did you not have any friends?
“Your highness?”
You snapped your head up at Kageyama. He was looking at you; his eyes were drawn together slightly in concern. You were walking down the hallway, making your way to the training room. The dagger he had given you was strapped around your hips, hidden beneath your jacket.
From what you could tell, he didn’t say anything about the gift…should you mention them? Or was this more of a silent gift? Something that you both acknowledged but didn’t have the need to say anything.
The you of last night would’ve gratefully thanked him the moment you saw him. But now? That was something friends would do.
“Is everything okay?” he asked. “You seem off.”
“Are we friends?”
Kageyama stopped just short of the training room doors. “What?”
“Are we friends?” you repeated. Your heart pumped heavily in your chest and rang throughout your ears. “You know, you and me. This” — you gestured between the two of you — “us. The two of us standing here. Friends? Yes or no? I don’t really think there could be a ‘maybe’ in this situation. Unless we were like transitioning from strangers to—”
“Your Highness.”
You blinked. “Yes?”
Kageyama looked at you like he always did. A half exasperated, half an ‘are you an actual person’ face, which you had grown fond of. A smile tugged at his lips. “Of course we’re friends.”
“Great!” you said, almost too quickly. You cleared your throat and looked away, your face feeling hot. “I mean,” you said in a measured tone, “of course we are.”
Kageyama chuckled and reached out to hold the door open for you. “Is that why you were acting strange? You didn’t think that we were friends?”
You partially skipped through the door and to the weapon rack. Maybe you should ask Kageyama if you could do daggers today. “What was strange about my behaviour? I’m acting normal.”
“You weren’t looking at me.”
You froze and risked a glance over your shoulder. “What?”
Kageyama stood less than a metre from you, his hands behind his back as if he was pointing out the obvious.
Kageyama shook his head and walked up beside you. He looked at the weapons on the rack for a moment before selecting a dulled arming sword and handing it to you hilt up. Arming swords was the weapon of choice with knights — it was the one that hung at their sides and that they used in battle. It was similar to the longsword, but had a simple hilt and was a little lighter.
You wrapped your hand around his to take the sword, expecting him to let go, but as you were pulling away, his other hand encased yours. The silence was deafening and all you could feel was his hand around yours.
Tearing your gaze from your hands to Kageyama, you were surprised to see that he wasn’t looking at you. He was staring at your hands in between his, holding them like glass — something precious.
“What are you —?” you whispered.
“You said I could, right?” he said in a low voice. “Because I’m teaching you?”
You didn’t know what this had to do with swordsmanship, but you didn’t want him to let go. “I did.”
He shook his hand again. “Maybe your behaviour wasn’t strange. Maybe I’m just used to looking at you and already see you looking at me. Maybe I’m the one acting strange.”
The hand that rested on top of yours tightened its grip for a moment before both of his hands slipped away from you. You didn’t know where this was coming from, but you knew that you couldn’t look away from him again. Not when he was looking at you. The tip of the sword dropped to the ground, making a small clink sound echo through the room.
“Kageyama?”
“Yes?”
“Thank you for the gifts.”
He smiled and nodded his head at you. Kageyama reached over to the rack and picked another sword from the rack.
“Shall we?” he said.
You were fifteen when the King decided to stop personally teaching you swordplay. You were glad. He was a tough opponent. He never let you win. You would leave the lesson with bruises on your sides because you left them open and calluses on your hands from the hours you spent gripping the hilt of the sword. It was unlike the tutors he had set up for you on the days he couldn’t make it.
“Should we go again?” he had said. “You’re getting better.”
“Do I get a choice in the matter?” you asked.
The King cocked his head to the side. “Not really, no.”
You expected this answer and had raised your sword before he finished his sentence.
You sparred longer than your previous match, but this one, too, ended up with you on the floor with the King’s sword at your neck.
“And you’re dead.”
You pushed the sword away and stood up. “Thanks for the commentary.”
It was always like this. He’d beat you, you got up, and then he’d beat you again.
“Winning isn’t the most important thing,” he said.
“Says the person who told me that losing means death.”
“Only in life or death situations.”
You picked up your fallen sword and brought it back to the rack. “I’ll make sure to keep note of that.”
“You look at me too much.”
“What?” The King never left his spot, standing tall and proud like a king. Would you be able to do that once you took his place?
“When we were sparring, you kept looking at my movements to anticipate my next moves.”
You blinked. “Yes. Isn’t that what we’re supposed to do? That lady you brought in a couple years back gave a book to me about it.”
The King chuckled. “Did I not tell you that your books would only push you so far? The key to winning a fight is to follow your instincts. Don’t be ten steps in front of them, be their shadow, an inch they can’t scratch, something they can only see when they look down. Your instincts are what keeps you alive when it counts.”
He walked over to you and placed his practice blade beside yours. “However, that comes with the time and experience of wars and fighting, something that you should stay away from until you’re ready. Use what they taught you and build from that. Until then, strike first, and when you can’t, strike fast.”
You counted his footsteps and listened for the sound of the door closing before you looked behind you.
Kageyama didn’t know what he was doing. What was going on with him?
After his lesson with you (to which he thought you were mediocre at best, but you were getting better) he walked you back to your room. Tsukishima was already waiting in front of your door, leaning beside the door frame with a lazy smirk on his face.
Kageyama glared at him.
You looked up at him for a moment, and your lips were pursed like you wanted to tell him something. The lesson had gone how they usually did. The dynamic between the two of you didn’t change despite the look in your eyes when he said that you were acting strange. Kageyama didn’t know if he felt more relieved or hurt that you acted normal. But either way, it wasn’t your fault.
He told himself to stop before wrapping his hands around yours, but once he felt the warmth and comfort of your touch, he didn’t want to let go.
His self-control always faltered whenever you were around. He needed to work on that.
Your eyes shifted quickly to Tsukishima and then back to Kageyama.
“Did you need something else, Your Highness?” Kageyama asked in a low voice.
You shook your head. “I’ll see you tomorrow, right? For tomorrow's lesson?”
“Of course.”
You smiled. “I’ll see you then!”
You went into your room and shut the door.
Kageyama glanced at Tsukishima who had a hand over his mouth and head turned to the side.
“What,” Kagayama said, narrowing his eyes.
“You know,” Tsukishima replied, cocking his head towards your shut door. “I don’t know why you do this to yourself.”
Kageyama bit the inside of his cheek. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He turned and started down the hall.
“I doubt that,” Tsukishima mumbled.
Kageyama wanted to smack himself. More so of the fact that he didn’t even know what he felt. He felt stupid calling it love, but saying that he liked you seemed like an insult to his own feelings. What do you call wanting to be close to someone? Wanting to see all the places you knew they could go and remain by their side?
His feelings had been like this for quite some time now and he doubted that that would change. He would be your knight to his last breath, but anything after that was something that he could not entertain. Even thinking about the possibility that he could be with you made his mind fuzzy.
The thought of teaching you how to defend yourself had lingered in his mind when he first met you. Kageyama wanted you to know how to protect yourself in every circumstance, so that you were never left unguarded. And with the strong threats against the kingdom, King, and you, now was a good time to start.
That contributed to why he contemplated asking someone else to take over for him, but after what happened today, he couldn’t. Kageyama couldn’t distance himself from you — mainly because he didn’t want to — but now it would defeat the purpose of him saying he was friends with you. He didn’t want to know what your face would look like if you thought he had lied to you.
He aimlessly made his way down carpet-lined floors and candle-lit hallways, past windows metres taller than him and old paintings that were just as big. Why couldn’t he be born someone royal? Or someone with good diplomatic relations? This place had a way of making him feel small. Once he reached the end of the hallway, he turned left, heading back to the knight’s quarters.
“Kageyama,” a voice said behind him.
He froze. Without another second, he stood straight and turned, bending forward in a low bow. “Your Majesty.”
The King waved his hand dismissively. “You don’t have to do that.”
Kageyama blinked. “You’re the King.”
“I know.” The King took a step down the right of the hallway. The guards that were trailing behind him leaned their backs to the wall to make room for the King to pass. “Walk with me back to my chambers?”
“Of course.” Kageyama quickly fell in step with the King as the guards closed ranks behind them. The palace felt small again.
A moment of silence lapsed between the two. Kageyama didn’t want to speak out of line, so the right choice was to wait to be spoken to. No one was idoitic enough to repeat words of the King, which had to do with honour and respect towards him, but nothing would stop the guards from repeating Kageyama’s words. In fact, they would never let him forget it.
“I hear you’ve been spending a lot of time with (Y/N).”
One of the guards coughed behind them. Kageyama focused himself not to glare at them and instead turned gaze to the King. He looked more curious than angry, which Kageyama took as a good sign.
“I’ve been teaching them how to defend themself.”
The King’s lip twitched. “Teaching them? (Y/N)?”
“Yes.”
The King turned his head away from Kageyama, his hand covering his mouth slightly. A strange sound, one caught between the clearing of a throat and a cough, came out of the King.
Kageyama frowned and took a tentative step forward to him, and so did the rest of the guards. “Are you alright?”
The King straightened his back and faced forward once again. His lips were pressed in a thin line, but his eyes were crinkled at the corners like he was trying not to laugh. “Yes. That’s good, with you teaching (Y/N). You should continue that.”
Kageyama wasn’t planning to stop them, but he nodded nonetheless.
Each step forward towards the King’s chambers felt like sinking deeper into unknown waters — the dread and the pressure. Kageyama tried not to think about the meeting the King had a couple of weeks ago when they got the first threat.
Threats weren’t uncommon, and most of them were harmless, trying to blackmail the royal family with false and ridiculous claims or short letters threatening their lives. Surprisingly, a lot of them put names and addresses on the letters, so they were checked and double-checked, which turned out to be nothing.
Yamaguchi had been on mail duty, sorting out the royal mail as punishment after accidentally sleeping through a night post-shift, and had brought Kageyama the letter that night. There was no verbal threat written in it. No threats like “I will kill (Y/N) at 11:42 pm” or “I have poisoned all the drinking water”. It was a schedule. A schedule of all of the things you did that day down to the minute.
11:32 am — Princess (Y/N) left their bedroom chambers
11:45 am – Princess (Y/N) arrived at the dining room
12:24 pm – Princess (Y/N) left the palace
Kageyama had been with you the entire day and confirmed that it was true. He called a meeting with the King that night. The memory of the King’s face made a mark on Kageyama. He didn’t think he could forget the eerie silence that hung in the room or the blank expression on the King’s face once he saw the letter — a blank, unseeing look. Everyone was uneasy, not used to having their clear cut, quick to make decisions, better under pressure King freeze.
Kageyama didn’t agree to the 24/7 surveillance of you, partly because he knew that it would drive you insane (which it did), and partly because he knew that it wouldn’t solve anything. Once that person saw that you had seven to eight guards with you all of the time, they wouldn’t attack, and the problem would only be drawn out more.
He wasn’t sure if you noticed, but since then Kageyama had begun switching his shifts with other knights to avoid guarding you.
The King stopped before his door. He looked at the guards behind them, and with a flick of his wrist, the guards moved around them and filed into his office, shutting the door.
“Sorry about that,” the King said, rubbing visible dust off the front of his cloak. “That was a bit dramatic, but the knights do have a habit of whispering amongst themselves, right?”
Kageyama had never seen the King this up close before. The King always had this regal, untouchable aura around him. When looking up from the ground to the elevated throne, one didn’t notice the wrinkles around his eyes or the way his shoulders slumped forward. He looked tired.
“Yes,” Kageyama said. The King nodded and stared at him. Kageyama forced himself to hold the stare instead of squirming under it. After another moment, Kageyama cleared his voice and said, “Did you want to tell me something, Your Majesty?”
The King wrinkled his nose the same way you did whenever Kageyama called you anything but your name.
“Starting tomorrow,” the King said, “I would like you to go back to being (Y/N)’s personal guard instead of the knights rotating through.”
“What?”
The King chuckled. “The formalities always go away when it is something people don’t want to hear.”
“It’s not something I don’t want to hear,” Kageyama rushed. “I was just surprised…Your Majesty.”
“I think that it’s safer to have one trusted guard at all times. (Y/N) likes you and you’re spending time with them anyways, teaching them swordplay; it makes sense doesn’t it? Unless you don’t want to?”
“No!”
The King tilted his head. “No? No meaning you don’t want to?”
Kageyama flushed. So much for his plan of distancing himself from (Y/N). “No. Sorry, Your Majesty. Yes, I will be their guard. I don’t know how much they’ll like that…they weren’t very fond of your initial idea.”
“I know.” An unfamiliar emotion flickered in the King’s eyes as he turned towards the door. His eyes carefully ran the length of Kageyama from head to toe before settling on his eyes. “Start tomorrow. I’ll notify the other guards. Look out for them.”
Though this conversation did nothing but confuse him, he was sure of one thing.
“I will,” he said.
It had been hours since Kageyama had left you at the door. You tried to fall asleep, but something made your skin crawl, like dozens of tiny needles poking you from every direction. Someone was watching you. You were scared that every time you turned around, you would see a shadow over you, waiting and going in for the kill. That feeling made you think that you shouldn’t be in your room tonight.
Tsukishima was right again and you hated it. Knowing only made you more paranoid and terrified to be alone.
On nights like this, where you couldn’t sleep, you would stare at the candles and count the number of times the guards changed from your door. It was one less than it should have been. It could have been nothing… maybe someone decided to walk extra quietly tonight.
You didn't know anything that was going on about the threat to your life, but you had enough common instinct — possibly trained instinct from all of your lessons with the King and tutors about danger when fighting — to know to follow your gut. If you felt that an arrow was pointing at you, it was safe to assume that it was aiming to kill, and if it wasn’t, then no harm was done either way.
You pulled a cloak off of the rack beside your door. It covered most of your night clothes and would keep you from walking around in your nightclothes. Your hand hovered over the door. What were you going to do though? Walk around aimlessly? You scratched your head.
Before the feeling of imminent death, you were tossing and turning wanting to know more about Kageyama — and all of the knights for that matter. Even if you were friends, you were probably a bad one, granted you’ve never had any before.
Seeing Kageyama, even for a moment, would put your mind at ease.
The knight’s quarters was in a detached part of the castle, but there was an entrance that connected that to the palace near the kitchens. It wasn’t a far walk, but not the closest either? Should you risk it? You looked back to your night stand where you had placed the leather belt that held your new dagger. At first, you were reluctant to take it off, but now it felt wrong to put it on.
If you had to defend yourself, how could you drench a gift in blood?
You scanned your room. There were no other weapons unless you wanted to throw books at people or carry around a candle holder. Neither seemed like bad options, but the dagger was the more logical one. You frowned and buckled the belt under your cloak, around your waist. Tomorrow you were going to move an entire sword rack into your room.
Going through the door felt wrong. Once you opened it, you would be met with a guard and they would either refuse to let you go or come with you. You didn’t want that. A clink of metal and the sound of footsteps rattled behind your door.
Dread stabbed you. You felt like you were making this up in your head, but fear was a real thing. You froze. Nothing was happening. Everything was happening. You looked around your room again, trying to find something that you could seek comfort in. Your eyes darted to your bookcase. The servant’s passage.
You rushed over to it. Putting pressure on the left side of the case, you pulled it towards you. A hole opened up in the wall. You didn’t know where it led, but it would have to lead somewhere in the castle that was what these passages were made for. A louder sound came from behind your door. You wanted to leave.
Grabbing a nearby lit candle, you went through the door, pulled the hatch shut from the inside and began your descent into the darkness with only a little bit of light.
This was not creepy at all.
Spiders were not creepy with their various sizes and multiple legs. Cobwebs didn’t brush against your cloak. Nothing of the sort happened.
Despite those beautiful things, the passages were rather easy to navigate. They were almost a copy of the hallways above minus the fancy decor, access to certain rooms, and random doors littered throughout the hallway. Most passages were labelled to where they led out and the ones that weren’t, surprisingly, didn’t spark your curiosity about where they led.
You felt safer down here than in your room, but you were on your way to Kageyama and the knights. If the King thought that the safest place for you was in your room, he was wrong, it was wherever they were.
You were three-quarters away from the knight’s rooms when the warning bell rang. The sudden noise made you drop your candle and it went out. Thunderous footsteps stamped over your head. Dust and pebbles fell loosely around your head and feet. Without the light, you wanted to get out of here more than ever.
Your hands began to shake as the bells became louder. Were you safer here? No one knew that you were here, but that was also the reason you wanted to leave. No one knew you were here and there were protocols in place for moments like this. Any minute, knights would be in your room prepared to take you to a safe hold or to the King until it was over. This never happened before.
You placed your hand on the wall to steady yourself. You took a deep breath and started walking. If you waved your hand along the wall, you were bound to find an exit eventually. You tried to ignore stomping and bells, but they sounded as if they only got louder with added shouting.
Relief flooded you once your hand hit the handle of an entrance. You had no idea how far you walked, where you were, or the circumstances outside, but at least you weren’t trapped in dark tunnels.
The dagger was heavy on your waist. You pulled it from its sheath and gripped it tightly in your hand. This was what you were trained for. Bracing yourself, you pushed on the door. You were met with some resistance, but it gave away.
You rubbed your eyes, adjusting to the light. From the small glimpse you got of the hallway, you were closer to the armoury than the kitchens, but the distance was shorter than where you started. When they did, you regretted looking around. A small fire started in the yard just before the fences. Tables and vases were turned over on the floor or broken. Knights laid motionless on the floor.
You winced as vomit threatened to come up your throat. You tightened your grasp on the dagger and made your way to the closest fallen guard. Kneeling beside them, you removed their helmet. A guilt consolation washed over you when it was someone you didn’t recognize. Blood trickled from the corner of her lips and her eyes were wide and unseeing. You clutched your jaw as you carefully laid your hands over her eyes and closed them.
“Closing their eyes won’t bring them back to life.”
Your armed hand slipped behind your back. You turned and were faced with two people. They were wearing plain clothes, weapons strapped to their legs and around their hips, and a mask covered everything below their eyes. You bit your tongue.
You stood up, shoulders back and jutted out your chin a little, steeling yourself. “You missed your opportunity, you know. Why talk when you could’ve just killed me from behind. It’s rather an idiotic move.”
One of the men’s eyes crinkled at the corners and his gaze landed just above your shoulder.
You quickly sidestepped and stuck out your foot. A person that tried to attack you from behind tripped over your foot and fell to the ground in front of the two people. Taking their moment of confusion, you glanced behind you to make sure the rest of the hallway was empty.
The man on the right kicked the person on the ground who was trying to stand back up. “You pathetic—” he cut himself off and glared at you. “We were supposed to take you back, Your Highness, but I think I’ll enjoy killing you.”
Telling yourself you were going to be fine did almost nothing to comfort you, but your nervousness did. If you were going to die anyways, why filter yourself and your words? You covered your mouth and chuckled. “Yeah, what’s that about? No one ever tells me anything. It’s kind of annoying.”
“Just because you had some lessons with your light knight, you think you can take on all of us? You must be confident.”
The three of them, now all standing, drew their swords.
“Actually, I’m confident because I've had over a decade of lessons with people I’m sure are better fighters than you are. Better people than you are.” The dagger felt small in your hand, but you always knew it was the size of the weapon that mattered, it was how you used it. Slowly you brought your dagger forward, pulled your other arm backwards for balance, and planted your feet. “So the only question is if you want to be unconscious or dead.”
The answer to that question was unconscious, but there were some things that people didn’t need to know.
The person you tripped came at you first. He raised his sword arm in a slashing motion leaving his right side opened. You knelt down and pushed yourself forward. In a swift motion, you cut his ribs, stood up, twisted the dagger in your hand, and used the pommel to hit him on the head as hard as you could. He fell.
Strike fast.
A second of stillness sat between the remaining intruders.
You heard faint shouts between the warning bell, but you were already moving. You kicked one of them in the stomach, sending them back. A sting across your upper arm made you stumble. The pursuer pulled back their sword. Blood dripped down the blade.
“I thought you wanted to go in for the kill,” you said, raising your blade.
The person glanced at your small dagger and laughed. “It’s more fun this way, isn’t it?”
You lunged forward. Cutting his sword hand with your dagger, you brought up your other hand and punched his side. You were behind him. You kicked him in the back and he fell forward.
Strike first.
A person stood behind them. You gripped your blade, bracing yourself for another fight, but the person raised their own weapon and smashed the bottom of the sword on their head.
They stepped closer to you, their sword still raised and their spare hand clutching their side. You leaned back on your foot. But once you got a better look at them, you froze.
“Kageyama?”
His hair was messy and parts of his armour were falling off. Two blood patches saturated the clothes underneath, one on his lower thigh and the other on the side of his abdomen. The sword in his hand lowered. His face was pinched and his eyes were wide at the glimpse of you. Kageyama’s eyes travelled and landed on the blood that soaked your upper cloak.
“You’re bleeding,” he said. His voice was rough, but there was an emotion that laced his words that you couldn’t put your finger on. The adrenaline hadn’t worn off yet; you didn’t feel anything.
“I’m bleeding? You’re bleeding. What happened to you?”
Kageyama blinked. “You used that dagger very well.”
You glanced down and the blood-soaked dagger shook in your hand. “Surprise?”
A sudden aggressive shout from beside you, made you both jump back. The man you had kicked earlier was up and had swung his sword. He went straight for you. Kageyama jumped in front of you, parrying the blade with his own. You went around Kageyama, on the side that the man left open by attacking, and slash across his ribs. The man fell to his knee and you took that moment to hit him on the side of his head.
Maybe it was the shock from seeing Kageyama, but your hit never landed. Holding off Kageyama, he used his other hand and punched you in the ribs – maybe that was pay back for you. You fell on your back clutching your side. The air had been knocked out of you.
“(Y/N)!”
You tried to say you’re great, just fine, but all that came out was a wheeze. No amount of training could prepare someone getting hit really hard. The dagger had skidded away from your hand. Your eyes water so the fight happening before you was blurry. A ringing in your ears began, but you were sure if that was the warning bells or just in your own head.
You laid there for a moment, collecting yourself. You didn’t want to feel pain, so don’t. You weren’t close to death — you didn’t know what that felt like and you didn’t want to. No yet. You were all that your father had. You were going to rule next.
A loud grunt of pain and the clang of metal came over from the fight. Your eyes cleared. Both swords were laying on the ground. The man had Kageyama up against the wall, his back to you, and a dagger from his thigh sheath aiming at Kageyama’s abdomen. You’ve read about how wounds would affect people and two the abdomen would probably kill him.
“Kageyama,” you said.
You pushed off the ground with energy you didn’t have. You grabbed your dagger and stumbled towards them. Your body moved on its own. You lunged forward, stabbing the man in the left shoulder. You gritted your teeth and pulled down.
His screams were an afterthought as he leaned sideways and fell to the floor. There was blood on your hands.
In a quick motion, he turned you away from the fallen man.
“Hey,” he said.
You heard his voice. You focused on the blood running down the dagger and dripping down the end, falling on the carpet, staining your cloak.
Kageyama raised his hand and cupped your cheek, whipping away the tears streaming down your face. He stared at you for another movement before enveloping you in a hug, pinning your arms down to your sides but still mindful of the wound on your upper arm. You stiffened against him. Your mind was blank. But you were tired and Kageyama was warm. Slowly, you sunk into him, resting your head against him.
Three men laid around you and Kageyama.
There were only echoes left of the warning bells and the small crackle of the fire outside.
The fear and nervousness that you used to keep you standing was the thing that weighed you down now. You took a breath and lifted your arms and wrapped them around him. It was better knowing that Kageyama was there sharing some of the weight.
“Why weren’t you in your room?” your father asked.
You sat across from him in the war room. It was also one of the only rooms that remained untouched by the invaders. You’ve never ventured down here before and you were clearly right not to do so because this room was on a different level of depressing. Though the room was full of natural light, with the windows rimming the top of the walls, going around the circumference, the room was fully concrete. Maps and books were pinned to walls and lined shelves.
A rectangular table stretched the length of the room. The King sat at the head of the table, you sat on his right, and the rest was filled with trusted knights and advisers. It was intimidating, but you were also trained for this. One day you were going to sit at the head of the table.
Kageyama sat across from you, two people down. It had only been two nights since the invasion happened. You hadn’t seen him since Tsukishima found the two of you hugging in the hallway. He didn’t see your tear stains or the bloody dagger that Kageyama had to pry from your grip. Kageyama wanted to stay with you more, but he had night duties to do and you had to fix your room. It was a good distraction.
You learned that it started in your room. The new shift change guard found a knight outside your room and your door opened. That was when the warning bells rang. Your room was ransacked and everything was turned over, which you spent those two days cleaning up. At first, the King wanted to move you into a different one, but you said no. He didn’t argue.
Whatever the threat was, you still didn’t know. Maybe you could get Kageyama to tell you. Or not. You weren’t sure if you wanted to know anymore.
“That,” you said, “is a great question. Would you like to hear it from the beginning or the middle? The beginning seems like a good choice, but starting at the middle would be more exciting and we could cycle back.”
“Well, most of us know how it ends,” said your father. You froze. Only you and Kageyama knew really what happened and only a couple of them knew what your father was referring to. Tsukishima pressed his lips together to hide his laugh, but he wasn’t doing a very good job at it. Kageyama stared at the table.
You brought a shaky smile to your face. “I liked that ending.”
Kageyama’s eyes snapped to you. A more genuine smile took over when you looked at him. There were never good times for conversations. The ending that Tsukishima saw and the one that your father believed was a good one. You wanted Kageyama to know that too. Your eyes went back to the King who was smiling at you. Your hands clammed up. When was the last time you saw his smile?
“Though the middle sounds exciting, the beginning please,” the King said.
You shook your head. “Right. I couldn’t sleep because I had a feeling that I was going to die. So I left through the old servant passage.”
“You had a feeling that you were going to die?” Sawamura asked. You looked at him and realized that everyone was staring at you.
“You know, when you’re taught how to use a sword, most people think the hardest thing to learn is how to hold the blade or memorize the techniques that go into balancing and footwork,” you said. You turned back to your father. “But the hardest is how to follow your instincts. It took me a while to do that, but that’s what I did. I guess it paid off.”
Your father continued to stare at you as you muttered off the rest of your story, leaving out the fictitious ending. The advisor began talking about the casualties of the battle and the room was masked in mourning. The number wasn’t as high as you thought, about twenty people, but each of them felt that they were killed by your hands. You were the reason there was an attack.
When that concluded, the advisor started talking about logistics and how long it’ll take to rebuild some places. Though your father was silently listening to what your adviser had to say, his hand was tapping on the table. Maybe you weren’t the only one who was getting a little bored. Did your father endure these types of things? Or did he enjoy this? Like Kageyama and all of the other knights, you never saw below the surface of who you thought he was.
You waited a couple more minutes before you sighed and cocked your head. “Sorry to interrupt you,” you said, waving your hand in apology to the advisor. “But could I talk to my father for a moment? Alone. It won’t take that long. I estimate about fourteen minutes.”
The room fell silent and the stares were back to you.
Your father nodded. “Fourteen minute break everyone.”
Everyone shuffled in their seats but didn’t move from them. You gritted your teeth. “That means everyone needs to get out. Now.”
Kageyama snickered, and so did a few others, but followed your orders nonetheless. The shuffle of the chairs and closing of the doors lasted a couple of minutes, but soon it was just you and your father sitting at the table.
“You get that from me,” he said.
You swallowed. “I understand why you didn’t tell me.”
Your father leaned back in his chair and cleared his throat. “I admit, my approach to the situation might not have been the best. It wasn’t something so dangerous that it needed to be kept from you.”
You nodded. “We’re both kind of…”
“Stubborn?”
“Very.”
“Another thing I get from you then?” you asked.
Your father smiled. “Amongst many things.”
You rested your elbows on the table and matched his grin. “I’m assuming that the reason they wanted me dead was some political thing?”
“I can tell you more, if you want. If you invite everyone back in, the advisor could tell you.”
“No. I —” You shook your head. “I don’t want to know.”
He took a measured look at you. “What’s wrong?”
You licked your lips.
“You are my child. I can tell when something is wrong. You and Kageyama are not as subtle as you think you are.” He laughed. “I see the looks and hear the whispers. I am the King, you know.”
You let out a humorous laugh. “It’s not really about Kageyama. It is, but it’s not. You know those people who attacked Kageyama and I? The one with the slash on their back?”
Your father nodded.
Your body felt heavy and your eyes watered. You bit the inside of your cheek. “I did that. I— I killed that person. They were about to kill Kageyama and I just…”
“Do you blame him?”
“No.” You rubbed your eyes. “God, no. It wasn’t his fault.”
“That’s good,” he said. His head hung low, looking deeply at his hands. “I blamed your mother a bit.”
Your mind clouded. “What?”
“When I was your age, something happened to your mother and I killed someone too. At first, I blamed her because I didn’t see any other choice because then I could only blame myself because it was my hands that killed a person. But we made it through, talked it out. It’s really different, learning how to protect yourself and actually doing it, which is way I told you—”
“There are some things I can't learn from books.”
He laughed mirthlessly. “Taking a life is not exactly what I had in mind for myself or you, but there it is. But I know that you are in the strangest position, knowing what you did was both right and wrong and doubting yourself because of that. It’s not going to get any easier. It’s something that you fight to live with. The person that I loved was safe and there was some consolation in that.”
“The right part of the wrong,” you said.
“Yes.”
The room felt lighter.
“I can help you with it,” he said.
You let out a breathy laugh and smiled. “Like you did with swordplay.”
Your father grinned. “Yes. Look how good you are at it.”
“Thank you.” You felt the urge to hug him, but you weren’t sure if you were there yet. The smile and the kindness that he showed the rest of the kingdom was being shared with you. “Should we let them back in? I have a feeling that Tsukishima is meticulously counting the minutes I said this would take.”
Your father leaned towards you. “He can wait another minute. You and Kageyama.”
You scrunched your nose. Did you really have to do this now? You were just starting over with your father and you didn’t think you needed all of the reasons why your relationship with Kageyama wouldn’t work. You already knew all of them. “Yes?”
“Do you like him?”
“A normal amount.”
Your father gave you an inquiry look. “I was lucky enough that your mother was someone who could be socially and politically accepted by my parents for marriage.”
You crossed your arms. “You don’t have to rub it in.”
“What I can tell you is that once you become ruler, gain your people’s respect and give them yours, you might find that they have bigger problems than who you chose to be with.”
Your heartbeat quickened. “Thank you.”
“Also, if you’re worried about what advisors might think, you are their boss. It would be very simple to do something about those people.” He sat up straight in his chair. “Just don’t ruin our people’s lives.”
“I’ll try my best.” You laughed.
“Oh, and Kageyama is going to be your personal guard again.”
“What?”
“Forgot to tell you,” he said. “It was supposed to start two days ago but our home was invaded.”
“What?”
“I’ll allow some time for you to process this. I’ll start tomorrow.” Your father smirked and gestured to the door. “Go open the door, please. I think our fourteen minutes are up.”
The adjoining knight building was a lot bigger than you expected it to be. You no longer had guards trailing you everywhere you went, but now you wish you had. Night had fallen, and though you knew guards were posted at all the entrances and walking about, it would be nice to have someone with you.
Maybe that’s why your father set Kageyama to guard you again. You needed someone after everything. But that started tomorrow and you wanted to see him now.
There were no guards standing at the knight’s entrance, so you swiftly walked past and pushed your way through the door.
The loud chatting and shouts silenced the moment you stepped in. The entrance opened into the common room. Many knights were out of their armour but plenty of them had their sword belts hanging loosely around their waist. They all stood up at the sight of you and bowed.
You waved your hand dismissively. “You don’t have to. Is Kageyama here?”
“In his room, Your Highness,” Sawamura said. “I can go grab him.”
“It’s okay, I’ll go. Where is it?”
Sawamura and Sugawara shared a look that ended with amused smiles on their faces. You hadn’t seen many of them up close despite the people who were in the war room earlier that morning. Many of them had bandages around their limbs and opened bottles of medicine were scattered around the room.
“It’s through there” — Sugawara pointed at the left-most passageway — “third door on your right.”
You nodded. The sound of your footsteps echoed as you reached the entrance, no one daring to move a muscle. You stopped. You didn’t want that, for them to be scared of you. You turned, knowing everyone’s eyes were on you.
“I just wanted to thank all of you for what happened two days ago. I know you risk your lives every day doing this and I appreciate that. I’m also really sorry if you lost one of your friends because of it.”
The knights caught the glances of others before smiling at you.
“Thank you, Your Highness,” Yamaguchi said. “We know that it wasn’t your fault. It’s what we do.”
Sawamura nodded. “When the time comes, it will be an honour to serve you.”
The knights bowed once more before returning to their conversations.
You took your time walking to Kageyama’s room, but took your time standing in front of his door. The last you knew, his wounds were fine and he was walking around perfectly fine too when you saw him in the war room. Courage had left you by the time the meeting was over but you had a hard time sitting through the rest of it without looking at him.
Strike first. Strike fast.
You knocked on his door.
Faint footsteps thumped behind it. Kageyama started yelling through the door before he opened it. “Hinata I don’t have any more bandages” — the door snapped open — “go ask someone else.”
His eyes widened and his mouth hung open. He was wearing casual clothes, a beige tunic and black pants. His body was half-hidden behind the door.
“You are not Hinata.”
You stifled a laugh. “I know that. Do you?”
Kageyama blinked. Red flushed his cheeks and his gaze never left yours.
You cleared your throat. “Are you going to let me in?”
“Yes. Of course.” He stepped aside and opened the door fully for you.
“Thank you.” You walked in and he shut the door behind you. His room was bare, only a bed, table, and closet filled the room. His sword hung from the bedpost and he had a couple of books stacked neatly on the table.
“I’m so sorry,” Kageyama said.
You turned. He hadn’t moved from his spot in front of the door.
“And why is that?” you asked.
“You had to kill someone because of me.”
The chatter and liveliness you heard in the common room was drowned out by the heavy silence that filled the air in that room.
“I don’t like what I had to do, Kageyama,” you said. He nodded solemnly; his chin dipped into his chest and his gaze settled on the ground. “I kind of hate myself for it a little and probably always will.”
“That will be my burden to bear.”
You bit your lip. You didn’t want that for him, but just like how you could erase your guilt, you doubted that you could erase his. “I don’t regret my decision.”
Kageyama slowly raised his head.
‘I don’t regret it for a second because you are standing in front of me and I can find solace in that.”
“Really?” His voice shook.
You took steps until you were in front of him. “You know what you said about how you would look at me and already find my eyes on you? That has always been true because I could not look away from you even if I tried. It’s not strange or by coincidence; you are the person who I want to be with. You are who I want to love and who I want to be loved by.”
Your chest tightened with nervousness and Kageyama staring at you now, not saying a word, did nothing to ease that.
“Or not, if that’s not what –”
“(Y/N),” he said, cutting you off.
“Yes?”
“Would I be beheaded if I kissed you right now?”
Your mouth gaped open and quickly morphed into a grin. “I guess that depends on how good the kiss is.”
Without another second gone by, Kageyama closed the gap between you. His hands ran the length of your back. The world spun around the two of you, leaving you completely still and dizzy. His lips were warm and soft, sending sparkes along your nerves and rested in your bones.
When you parted, both of your breaths were heavy.
Kageyama laughed.
“What?”
He laid his forehead on yours. “How could I not know that you trained how to fight when the King. I feel like an idiot.”
You giggled. “You were so cute trying to teach me though. How could I say no?”
A loud bang came from the door. You and Kageyama jumped away from each other like shrapnel.
“Kageyamaaaaa,” Hinata’s voice shrieked through the door. “Tsukishima said you had all of the bandages! Stop hogging them.”
Kageyama glared, stomped to the door, and threw it open. “I don’t have any freaking bandages.”
You peered around him and saw that not only Hinata, but seven other knights were behind him.
Sugawara waved to you. “Just making sure everything’s okay.”
“Everything was fine until you idiots showed up.” Kageyama slammed the door in their faces.
“So he really doesn’t have the bandages?” you heard Hinata ask as they walked away.
“Sorry about that,” Kageyama said softly.
You laughed. “It’s okay.”
“I should probably take you back to your room.”
You reach for Kageyama's hand. “Wait. I thought we could talk a bit more.”
He nodded and pursed his lips in confusion. “Did we miss a topic?”
“No. It’s just…the book you gave me?”
“Yes?”
“Could you tell me about your grandfather? I saw the inscription.”
Kageyama beamed. He tightened the grasp on your hand and pulled you to the bed. You kicked off your shoes and leaned against the headboard.
“My grandfather was my favourite person in the whole world.”
Epilogue
You and Kageyama drew your practice sword. The training room was rather full today. Knights, advisors, and staff with free time create a circle around the two of you as you and Kageyama circle each other.
“Five silver pieces says Kageyama will beat (Y/N),” Hinata said. He glanced at you and then called out, “No offence, Your Highness.”
“Five gold says (Y/N) crashes Kageyama,” snipped Tsukishima.
“You don’t have five gold,” Hinata argued.
Tsukishima glared. “Just because you don’t, doesn’t mean that I have.”
The match lasted a total of seven minutes before Kageyama’s sword was on the ground, he was on the ground, and your sword pointed just under his chin.
“You cheated,” Kageyama grumbled as you helped him up.
“Maybe I’m just better than you are,” you smirked.
Kageyama scowled. “You’re lucky that I love you.”
“Funny, I was just about to say the same thing.”
Tsukishima made a sour face. “I came here to watch you fight, not flirt.”
“I think they’re cute,” a voice said. The room fell silent as your father stepped into the circle. He held out his hand to Kageyama and guested on the sword. “May I?”
Kageyama placed the blade in the King's hand and backed away slowly.
The crowd backed away as well, making more space for their King and future ruler.
“This is amazing,” Yamaguchi said.
You and your father grinned at each other.
“Taking on challengers?” your father asked.
You braced yourself in a ready position and raised your blade. “Are you just going to stand there?”
You began the swordplay.
This one shot feels very strange…..and not that great even though it was the one I was slowly doing over the course of term…..writing it in spare time and when i was bored in class lsdjfl It’s kind of like Language of Flowers pt 3 where I wrote it over the course of the year and I felt like it didn’t flow that nicely….
Sorry for the tonal and language/dialogue inconsistencies lol … and that the geography of the palace makes no sense…Still have no idea how to write fight scenes.
Sorry, too, for the delay…but it wouldn't really be my week without it right lmaoo I was going to cut this down…but it was kind of crucial to this plot thing going on so I wrote it in
Also…..(writing this in the editing phase) I think I’m killing Bacon with all the knew parts I added during this time….sorryyyy
Hope you enjoyed! - Kiwi
Posted: 17/05/2022
#kageyama tobio#kageyama x reader#kageyama tobio x reader#Haikyuu x reader#haikyuu#x reader#oneshot#oneshots#haikyuu oneshots#haikyuu reader insert#reader insert#aus#haikyuu aus#fluff#haikyu#haikyu x reader#anime x reader#anime
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Hey!!
I love reading your posts (about the industry but more specifically, about BTS). I am so glad to know there are some people who decipher BTS, related personalities, their actions, etc. when necessary. From time to time I come to your blog to understand different perspectives of BTS and the impact they create. It really is a part of being a die-hard fan. You need to know the light and dark sides of your love to have a balanced opinion and you help so much with that. Thank you :)
I also admire your courage to post your opinions publicly (Even my ask is anonymous haha). There is no dearth of toxic fandoms out there and you could be pestered for stating your honest opinions too. But you do it anyways. Like I said, very brave. Kudos!!
One small suggestion to you. Could you make a masterlist of all your posts/opinions/reviews? If I come back to your blog after a long time, I miss out on a lot of posts that I'd love to read. A list could make it easy to read and navigate across the blog. Of course, no pressure. You do you!
Again, great work!
Hi! Thank you so much for your ask! I can't express how much it meant to me. I've reread it a few times and even showed it to my mom, haha!
I share my thoughts here because I feel like I have to. I'll go crazy if I don't, and I believe it's important to share opposing povs... But my opinions are usually ignored - which isn't even surprising since it's so hard to find anything on tumblr, and we often read things without liking, reblogging, or commenting - or I get criticism for them. I'm not really discouraged by either. I have nothing better to do, and criticism only strengths my opinions since I have to either refute it or accept it (I've done both). Moreover, it's because of people like you who read my posts, submit questions, or thank me for sharing my opinions, that I can remain confident in the face of criticism.
I don't agree with some things I've written - I even delete posts sometimes. There are posts I've thought about deleting but chose not to for the sake of honesty and because I don't want to erase my mistakes (yet I'm aware people won't know that). So, take what I write with a grain of salt - there are things I feel very strongly about, but I have my doubts on some topics too and I usually try to explain how and why I came to an opinion as well as any doubts I may have...
I don't know why I'm writing all this - it sounds pretentious, I know you can think for yourself. But I just don't want to be responsible for anyone's opinion. I'm just another perspective, a reference point. As for bravery, the stakes aren't very high! I'm a nobody and only stand out because I say controversial stuff sometimes. But thank you! Again, I'm not trying to sound pretentious, but being pretentious is one of my flaws, as is talking too much, sorry...
I never thought to make a masterlist of my posts. I probably won't even be able to find all of them haha. How do you suggest I organize them?
Also, I understand being on anon. I rarely send asks to non-mutuals, but I feel really exposed when I do it... You can always DM though! I'd love to know your thoughts if you want to share them, or just want some company!
Thanks so much for the ask! It made my day <3<3<3
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Heyaaa! I wanted to ask what do you think about Aries Sun (5h), Cap moon (3h), Aquarius Venus (4h), Cap Mars (3h) and Scorpio rising?
Disclaimer: Please take this with a grain of salt, Am not a professional, here are my thoughts about it, and it's not a fact.
Hi! what an interesting combination, we have the four elements here with a mix of cardinal and fixed energy. The 5H represents relationships, children, recreation, and things we enjoy. Aries sun is an exalted placement, people with this placement want independence and want to do what makes them happy, passionate, and competitive, a strong will of their oneself.
3h corresponds to childhood, communication, intelligence, and how we approach information. Cap moon has a practical way of approaching feelings, even though, they can express their emotions without a problem. Usually, this placement has a lot of responsibilities early in life and strives to do better in everything they do.
Cap mars is a placement you feel, is strong and serious, and really focuses on the task at hand. Have a lot of patience, so i don't recommend to piss this mars sign (like libra and virgo mars), people with this placement work for something great, whatever they desire; there its a fine line between wanting more for the final purpose and been materialist, sometimes they can cross that line.
4H is about home and family, the emotional core. Aquarius wants a lot of personal freedom, in this house, they seek stability but at the same time want their own space to grow. In the venus placement, they are pretty unconventional, but in the way, they show they care in the way they want, and most of the time they are going to surprise you, if they love you they love you (friendships, love interest, family, etc.)
The first impression of Scorpio rising is the air of mysteriousness, confidence, and ambition, you may have trouble opening up to people, and you have may go throuh some life experiences that make you like that, but it has given you so much knowledge that it's admirable the way you adapt and transform.
All in all, it is good that when you want something you go for it, but it's necessary to find a balance between the things you do and the rest your body needs, a little break is not going to stop you from reaching your goal. And remember, people are always going to say something, even if it is your family, don't mind them, go for what you deserve and want.
Sorry if something doesn't make sense, I'm a little sleep deprived. Thank you!
Requests are closed for the moment~
#ask response#astro community#astrology#astro questions#astro asks#astroblr#astro observations#closed
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I know they say to avoid infodumps - but aren't they necessary sometimes? Like in the middle or towards the end of a mystery when the whole mystery is revealed along with an epic backstory? Or a killer's exposition when he or she is unmasked at the end, explaining why they did what they did? I've tried to weave it in as much as possible but I still have one big exposition infodump 200 pages (of 300) in. The characters joke about it a bit, meta-style, flagging it as such. Are infodumps ever okay?
Look,,, if I were you, I wouldn't ask me questions like this. I am a dum-dum, OK? It truly does NOT matter to me what POV your book is in, what tense it is in, what eff'in 'info-dump' you have, wHaTeVeR -- I don't care. These are questions for people who know way more about craft than I do. Like WRITERS.
The only time I would care about or even notice ANY of those things is if they glaringly WEREN'T WORKING -- like for example you've chosen to have a distant third-person narrator so I'm not able to know the things as a reader I need to know to make THIS story go or THESE characters compelling. That I'd notice. But, while changing the POV might be what THIS story needs - that doesn't mean that it's the right solution for EVERY story, you know?
In other words - I honestly wouldn't notice an info-dump unless it ground forward momentum to a halt and made the book suddenly a slog to read. And I can't possibly know that about your book - because I haven't READ your book. Maybe it works just fine - in which case, KEEP IT! If people who read it think that it makes the story saggy, do something about that. (But what you do to fix the sagginess may vary case-by-case, and may or may not involve getting rid of the 'infodump').
Here's what I care about: IS YOUR BOOK GOOD? Did I want to stay up all night reading it? Do I want to recommend it to everyone I see the next day? It doesn't matter to me how you got it there. (Sorry?)
Writing is an individual artform. The same methods of creation that work for one person would not work for another. Waking up every morning at 5am and beavering away at your book for an hour and forty-five minutes exactly may work for one person, whereas writing in dribs and drabs, on weekends or at night for random amounts of time might be what other people need to do. Some people are fast, some people are 'slow'. Some people are pantsers, some people are plotters. We accept that, right?
So the same thing is true for all these "rules" about how to write.
Aside from using words / grammar / punctuation in a way that adheres to the norms of the English language for clarity of communication, I truly don't believe there ARE any "rules" that matter in terms of writing. There's plenty of advice out there on ways to make your book ______ -- but there are also plenty of people that don't do those things and are still FINE.
Like people on the internet are always banging on about how you "should NEVER use adverbs" -- ookkkkk but plenty of writers use adverbs as liberally as salt and their books sell admirably.
I am not saying none of it is useful -- A LOT of it might be useful, and it's a good idea to learn and think about all kinds of craft things -- "save-the-cat story structure" and "the heroes journey" and whatever Hemingway had to say about adverbs and yadda yadda - read the craft books, take the classes, watch the TED talks, and then take what works for YOU and helps YOU create a compelling, compulsively readable story, and leave the rest.
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I want to know a bit of Apple's thoughts about the tribes of eorzea, the Amal'jaa, Ixal, Sahagin, Sylphs, Kobolds, and Goblins! And if you like, the tribes from other lands, such as the moogles, vath, vanu vanu, ananta, kojin, etc.
How does she feel about their treatment by the larger political structures, do any of them make her nervous, are there any in particular she wants to learn more of, and are there any she is extra happy to consider friends?
An interesting question, I suppose I can organize my thoughts by comparing my initial opinions on these peoples to how I feel about them now.
With regards to the Amal'jaa: Initially I considered them to be more of an obstacle than living people, having assumed they were thralls to Ifrit in totality, and the Primal being my first opportunity to investigate the research I had uncovered on summoning. It is difficult to fault the tactics of any peoples pressured by oppression and conflict, but I do not regret the conflict that was necessary in my initial confrontations with the Amal'jaa. They were making slaves of captives and their own people. Of course, having been brought in to learn of their culture, I again find myself swallowing the bitter pill of Ascian interference, how different it all could have been, how much history could have been different between us. That being said, I fear my lack of physical prowess has proven a bit of a detriment to connecting to individuals. I sometimes think they feel sorry for me?
With Regards to the Ixal: My dealings with the Ixal are few, but having plundered the mysteries of Azys Lla I can only sympathize with the Ixal, yet another victim of the Allagan's cruelty. Created an abandoned with little thought, having their own culture, beliefs, and ideas contending with the genetic programming for a purpose that was abandoned long ago.... I believe it will take generations to undo the damage that so many years of conflict have wrot. But the firswt steps are happening, and I have seen firsthand the wonderful dreams the Ixal can partake on their own. I hope to see them all take flight someday.
With Regards to the Kobolds: I dont think any Limsan worth their salt, from the Admiral herself to the lowliest deckhand, could think of our kobold neighbors and not feel deep regret and guilt for what we have done to them. Even before I began to take to the field, reading our history is stuffy classrooms, I was aghast at the cruelty of the Limsans, and looked at the reports of Titan's wrath upon settlers with an appreciation of the tragedy of it all, and how it could have been avoided. Upon meeting everyday Kobolds, I couldn't help but feel for them, so fearful of me, but so curious and energetic when the walls come down. I've made many friends amongs them now, I am happy to say, and they've helped me build some rather impressive artifices!
With Regards to the Sahagin: I find it difficult to regard the Sahagin with the same sympathies as the Kobolds, even knowing the sins of my forefathers in Norvrandt. My understanding is, initially, the Sahagin considered all non-Sahagins as well... essentially fish, and the initial encounters with the sea fairing peoples of Novrandt were particularly bloody as a result. Its going to take as much work from them as it will from us to strengthen this budding peace, and I expect there may be a few splits amongst the Sahagin themselves over it, with possibly many queens emerging with their own clutches and ideals.
Regarding the Sylphs: I cant imagine anyone having a hatred of the Sylphs, violence being almost entirely committed by the Tempered. I can, however, imagine being -frustrated- by the Sylphs, as I am quite frequently, having many of my belongings being pilfered or even -eaten-, even when I came to the area specifically to gather said belongings!
Regarding the Goblins: I love them, even as adversaries? They're just so clever and excitable. I dont think i've ever found a group that understands the joys of creation and experimentation as much as they do, and I found myself making fast friends with most goblins i've met.
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Heyy, can I ask a romantic American horror story matchup please ?
I’m an ambivert (mix of introvert and extrovert). I’m most introverted and shy with strangers but goofy with people I’m comfortable with and I'm quite stubborn and sarcastic. Sometimes i’m unintentionally mean because of that. I know to be serious when it is necessary but post of the time i’m « funny » and chill. I really like to cuddle, watch Anime/Netflix/ Disney plus and just chill. My love languages are quality time, physical touch and teasing/ being mean.
Besides all that, I can easily stand up for myself like when something/someone is bothering me I immediately say it and argue with no problem if it’s necessary (and therefore put people in their place sometimes) and don’t necessarily need people to help me with this ( but it sometimes depends on the situation).
I’m also collected but have a certain attitude with a bit of nonchalant manners sometimes. All that doesn't mean that i'm not polite and respectful because i really am.
* About my apparence, I’m a black girl and my height is 5’7, I have 4c black hair (but i often wear braids) and I have dark brown eyes. My general style is more like jogging, crop top/ oversized shirt and jordan, or anything comfy. And sometimes my style is more like « a baddie »
Thanks and have a good day (I’m very sorry if it’s too long 😭)
I ship you with.... Kyle Spencer! (Pre death)
Kyle admires how different you are compared to alot of the girls he's around at his university. They were more of the extroverts that thrive off of the partying lifestyle. There's nothing wrong with it per say, Kyle is also an ambivert who doesn't mind an occasional party or two but would rather be around his close circle of friends.
Your sarcasm and humor makes him laugh every time you're witty with a rude professor or classmate. At first, Kyle might not be keen how you're mean at times to him because of his mother's abuse. It would take a while for him to get used to when to take your rudeness with a grain of salt.
Although Kyle hasn't watched much anime since he was a kid, he's all for watching it with you with the occasional question of which character is which. He loves how you're able to take care of yourself but he can't help but to try to protect your from some of the people you've argued with.
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#SERPETEMBER - days 1 to 6
Something I’ve made up as my own Sketchtember, and been posting daily on my twitter account (which you might want to follow if you’d like art AND trilingual queer screaming)
You’re welcome to join if you like. Rules are as follows:
1) Primary goal = fun. If it stops being fun, then you must stop.
2) It’s “serpetember” not “serptember”. Call it “serptember” and it won’t be my hashtag, don’t associate it with me
“But wh-”
“Serpe” is a real word meaning “serpent” in at least 5 languages (3 living, 2 dead)
It rolls better of my Romance Language native tongue
Even though “serp” is a radical common to English, I think “serptember” sounds derpy and
This is my hashtag based on my personal ESL existence, English native speakers, just respect it if you’re to use it.
#raposabranca#sketchtember#sketchtember 2020#snakes#serpetember#serpents#naga#sketch#sorry for the salt but sometimes for some people it's necessary
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The Big Day
Valentine Day with Mister Murdock
The big day was approaching.
The day Y/N was finally going to be brave and confess her feelings to Matthew Michael Murdock.
And what better day than Valentine's Day ?
Well, maybe that was a bit cliché. But the spirit was perfect. Romantic.
And if he wasn't interested, she could always say she did it because he was single and she wanted him to know he was loved.
No, that would sound like she felt sorry for him. And he would know she was lying, with his Devilish senses.
Stupid Daredevil.
Despite her fear of being rejected, Y/N was ready.
She pretty much knew what she was going to say.
Now, she needed the gift of circumstances, to prove her love. Well, maybe it was not necessary, but she wanted to.
It was the hardest part.
A week before the big day, she decided to look for the perfect present, asking her friends, who knew Matt well, for help.
She started with Karen.
"Do you think Matt would like flowers ?"
"Why ? For Valentine's Day ? Are you finally going to tell him that you love him ?" Karen deduced with a big smile and slightly rosy cheeks. Y/N was so predictable ?
"Maybe. I don't know. Focus. Flowers."
"Hmm. I don't recommend flowers. Or perfumes."
"Oh ? He's allergic ?"
"Try again."
Of course... His enhances senses, as always. Matt couldn't stand certain smells.
He had already thrown out the window some gifts that clients had given, because he couldn't stand the smell that filled the office. He grimaced when someone wore a perfume which was too strong. He sneezed in the spring, and sometimes even wore a mask.
"...Chocolate then ? A cake ?"
"A cake ? Where ?"
There were certain magic words that made Foggy appear from his office, like 'coffee', 'customer', and of course anything to do with food, often sugary, and free if possible.
"A cake for me ?"
"No, for Matt." Karen sneered. "Valentine's Day."
"Hush." Y/N hissed, already regretting asking her for help.
"Oh. No, bad idea."
"What ? Why ?"
"Matt and the food..." Foggy sighed. "It's complicated. He's complicated, very complicated. Picky. He hardly eats anything. He always knows if there's something wrong with the food. If there's too much salt, too much sugar, additives... Same at the restaurant. Never take him to the restaurant, unless he chooses it. In addition to the noise and smells that may bother him, he will know where the meat comes from, the vegetables, it will cause a scandal because the cooking is not good."
"A scandal ? Matt ?"
"Well, not really, but he'll be sulking and mumbling through the whole meal refusing to eat, and that's worse, believe me. No restaurant."
Very well.
No jewellery, Matt was not a materialist.
No watch, it was his phone that gave him the time. Plus a watch was not very romantic.
No cinema either. No theatre, opera, concert, museums...
Not that Matt couldn't enjoy it all because he was blind, but again, too much noise, too much smell, too much people.
Besides, even though she had heard stories, Matt was shy. In the sense that he didn't like to be watched, so holding hands, kissing, all the PDAs, that wasn't his thing.
If Y/N wanted him to be comfortable, to have a good day, and to be in the right conditions to hear her declaration of love, she had to find something else.
The park ? The park was good.
Not as nice as the beach, but Matt didn't like leaving New York. Especially Hell's Kitchen.
There was no quiet romantic night for Daredevil. There certainly never would be.
It was one of the reasons why Matt, despite all his qualities, was still single.
When he was not afraid to put his partner in danger and therefore preferring not to have a serious relationship, it was the lover who left, because they noticed that Matt was lying, hiding something, was almost never home.
Y/N had thought about all that, and she had decided it was no big deal.
She knew what Matt was doing, why. She was already afraid for him, but at least she would be there to help him, heal him, support him morally, give him advice if he needed it.
After all these years alone, Matt deserved to receive affection, to have someone to love and care for him. Y/N hoped she could be that person, if he wanted her.
That's what she said to Frank, Jessica, Danny, Luke, Peter, Deadpool, when she asked them what would make Matt happy for Valentine's Day and they all said she was too good for him and his complicated life.
"Red will never agree to be with you."
"Why ? He said something ? He talked about me like I was his sister ? Oh no, he thinks of me as his sister, damn it !"
"Nah." growled the Punisher with a sigh. "But Red is a martyr. He's going to think he's corrupting you, that it's wrong, that he has no right, and so even if he's dying to have you, he's going to ruin everything and run away like a fool. Because he's a fool. Remember that when he breaks your heart. It's not you, it's him."
"Jessica and Luke said something like that too."
"Yeah, they're not stupid."
"Danny and Peter were happy and wished me well, and Wade wants to be invited to the wedding."
"Our little team is half made up of morons. Karen and Nelson ?"
"Happy too."
"Our little team is mostly made up of morons. But... It would be nice if Red had someone, I guess. So... Go for it. Don't offer him a dog, he'll take it badly. A weapon maybe. A non-lethal weapon, so not effective at all, but the idiot will be able to boast about his not killing anyone nonsense."
"Thanks Frank, I'll find something else."
Finding books and Valentine's Day cards in Braille was harder than Y/N would have thought. To made them was worst, at least not for a reasonable price.
Was Matt a reader anyway ? Apart from the case summaries, she had never seen him take the time to read, but maybe that was because he couldn't find any good Braille books. He had no books at home. He didn't have a lot of things in general.
She thought it might make him happy. Three romance novels, To Kill a Mockingbird, The Rainmaker and Devil's Advocate, for fun, with a personalized card.
Even if she couldn't verify that the printer had reproduced what she had said on the card.
But she had planned a long speech that she had memorized.
Damn, she was so nervous, you would have thought she was preparing an assignment for school and not that she was about to declare her love to the man of her life.
So she had the gifts, the card, the speech, the date, all that was left was the place.
The park really seemed like the best option, but Matt was a busy man, even during the day. It wouldn't be easy to convince him to come for a walk without him asking questions.
Luck seemed to be on her side when the day before Valentine's Day, Matt texted her, asking if she could come over to his place the next morning on some urgent business.
Now would be the perfect time, and if things weren't going well, she could always run away from his apartment, leaving the books behind. On the sofa, so he wouldn't trip over them.
Y/N took a deep breath trying to keep calm as she knocked on his door. She still had to find the right moment, the right way to approach the subject.
It would also depend on why he had asked her to come. If he started talking about murders or tortured children, the mood wouldn't really be ideal.
When he opened the door, she couldn't manage to say the cheerful greeting she had repeated in front of her mirror.
Matt was well dressed. Not his work suit, another suit, more elegant. He wasn't wearing his glasses and had a beautiful smile on his face, although he seemed a little nervous.
"Y/N ! I'm glad you're here. Come in."
"Uh... Yes... Hi."
In the living room, she noticed several flowers on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Besides, there were also candles on the kitchen table. And several dishes.
A hearty breakfast, with cakes and chocolates.
Matt had put on some music, some opera, not very loud.
All that... It was her ideas. The ideas she'd had and then discarded because everyone had told her Matt would hate that… What ?
"I sense you're wondering what's going on." Matt said quickly, grabbing her coat. "Here, I... I overheard you chatting with Karen and Foggy. I didn't do it on purpose ! I was coming back to the agency early. Then... I may have listened to the other conversations, with Frank, and Peter, and everyone."
"...I don't understand. Is this... a joke ?"
"What ? No ! No, I would never do such a thing. I heard your disappointment every time they said I didn't like your plans. And they weren't entirely wrong, but... The flowers here don't smell. The candles either. I made the breakfast myself, so I'm not going to complain about it. The opera is one of my favourites, and we'll be able to enjoy it together. Please tell me you didn't take a non-lethal weapon from me."
"No, of course not, but... Matt, what are you trying to tell me ?"
It sounded stupid to ask, but Y/N really wasn't sure she understood.
It was too good to be true. She must be dreaming, or misunderstanding.
Because Matt couldn't be saying what she thought he was saying. Especially looking so intimidated and insecure. He who was a brilliant lawyer, a vigilante, and a real seducer according to Foggy's stories.
Blushing, he stammered again, licking his lip.
"I... I've known for a while. About your feelings. Your heart, your cheeks getting hot, your whole body in fact. Your shaking voice, your gaze on me. It made me very happy, but... I couldn't figure out if it was serious or if you just wanted one night You didn't leave after you found out my secret, so I knew I could trust you, and you weren't like this. I don't want just one night. I don't want to lose you. I care about you, I lo... I like you very much, I'm afraid if this doesn't work, or if you're in danger, or if you're bored with me, you will..."
"Matt."
"Y/N, will you do me the honour to be my valentine ? And more ?"
Oh.
To verify that it wasn't a dream, Y/N slapped herself, which surprised Matt.
Not quite the kind of response one would expect after a declaration of love.
To not look more ridiculous, but without really knowing what to say, having completely forgotten the speech she had prepared, Y/N handed him the books and the card.
With a tender smile, he passed his hand over the pages, then he read what she had written, he smiled even more, his eyes shining with joy, and he approached her to kiss her.
Wow, okay. Maybe a bit fast, but not unwelcome. Very pleasant.
"You are hungry ?" he asked between two kisses. "I made pancakes, orange cookies and a fruit cake, covered in chocolate. Otherwise, if you're not hungry, we can talk, or go outside, or..."
His head tilted in the direction of the bedroom, as his eyes stared up at the ceiling, as if embarrassed, as he pouted a little.
"Matt, I don't want a single night with you, I would love to go out with you, and I really want to taste what you have prepared."
"I'm the best cook in town !" he said jokingly, though he sounded a bit proud. "I listen to the food."
"Sure."
"I can prove it to you."
Spending the morning in Matt's kitchen, who taught her how to make perfect pancakes while listening to the sound of the frying pan, was not what Y/N had planned for Valentine's Day, but after several kisses on the neck, while'he was glued to her back, his hand on hers, then enjoying their preparation on the sofa, Matt reading the first pages of one of the novels she had given him, before going to work, him holding her arms… It was better than she could have imagined.
"I can still buy you a jewel if you want."
"No, Matt, that's perfect."
"You know." he smiled. "Next Valentine's Day, if you want to please me, I'd just like to spend the day listening to your heart."
"Don't you do it every day already ?"
"Not in a bed, my head against your chest."
He chuckled when he felt her embarrassment, then when she gently slapped him on the head.
If it pleased him, of course. They would spend as much time as Matt wanted, and could, together in bed, even if it wasn't Valentine's Day.
The following year, the lawyer still took his whole day for this, while having bought a ring, and prepared a long marriage proposal speech.
#daredevil#matt murdock#matt murdock x reader#matt murdock imagine#matt murdock fanfic#valentine's day
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everything happens for a reason part one - zuko x fem!reader
I am not your concern
masterlist | part 2
summary: as a servant in the fire nation, you’ve learned that life is often unfair. but as you venture through a tumultuous relationship with a certain prince, you come to learn a very tricky lesson: everything happens for a reason.
a/n: im so excited about this guys you dont even know. i have so much planned and i hope you all love it as much as i do - just for reference, in this first chapter y/n is 9 and zuko is 10
wc: 2.3k
warning(s): mentions of a raid, reader and zuko both being little shits lmao
chapter title comes from not your concern by the hush sound!
Y/N sprawled out on the grass and sighed contentedly as the sun shined down on her and her mother. Today was easier than most as they had been given the day off, an occasion that was rare in the royal palace. She closed her eyes and breathed in the fresh scent aerating their surroundings. Her senses were blessed with a mix of sea salt and fire lilies, an ever present reminder of the two worlds she walked in.
“Y/N,” her mother chided as she glanced down at her daughter from her sewing. “You shouldn’t lay in the grass like that. You know how hard those stains are to get out; I don’t need even more work on my plate.”
“Yes, mother,” she sighed as she sat up with mock exasperation. “I just feel like I should take advantage of this! We spend all day inside, and now that we’re out here you’re worried about things like stained clothes.” Y/N pushed herself to her feet and spread her arms out as she spun in a small circle. “Life is short, and I already spend all of it sewing and healing. Don’t you think I deserve some grass stains?”
“Did you find your way into the poetry books again?” she joked. “Of course I think you should have fun, but you know how things are here. I’m just trying to keep you safe.”
She continued to twirl, the soft breeze a welcome sensation on her skin. “I know, I know, but you don’t need to worry! I can—”
“Dear, watch where you’re going!”
Her mother’s warning didn’t reach her in time, a fact that became known to Y/N as she collided into the boy in front of her. A small gasp escaped her as recognition filled her now wide eyes.
“Prince Zuko!” she exclaimed, nervous hands finding their positions as she bowed. “Please forgive me for the accident, I didn’t realize you were there.”
Y/N had never spoken to the young prince directly — she mainly shadowed her mother while she did her work around the palace or honed her healing abilities under the watchful eye of Rika, their most skilled healer — but she knew enough to understand that she was to never disrespect the royal family in any way.
“Don’t worry,” he said with a small smile, alleviating the tension that had built up in her shoulders. “I’m sorry too, I wasn’t paying attention either. I actually came here for some help.” As she straightened her back, she noticed the bundle of fabric he was holding. “Are you Kura?”
“Oh, no. That’s my mother.” She pointed behind her where her mother greeted the prince with a respectful nod and smile of her own. “Did you come to get something fixed? She’s the best seamstress in all of the Four Nations.”
“My daughter flatters me,” Kura chucked. “What is it that you require, Prince Zuko?”
“She’s right, actually.” He held up the bundle of cloth which Y/N now recognized as one of the many outfits he owned. She didn’t consider herself a jealous person, but the prince’s extensive wardrobe was an exception to that rule. She had one set uniform for her work supplied by the Fire Nation, and a threadbare set for everything else that her mother had bought for her after saving up what little copper they had to spare. Y/N didn’t mind it too much as she was able to practice her sewing whenever the seams broke, but she was sure that her handiwork made up more of the outfit than the original by now.
“I tore one of the sleeves while I was training with Azula,” Zuko expressed with a frown. “I showed it to my mother, and she said that Kura would be able to fix it. I had to go through every single servant to find you, so I really hope you can. ”
Kura set her current project down and took the cloth from the prince, examining it with the skillful eye of a seamstress before meeting his eyes with another smile. “Of course, dear. I should have it ready for you by tomorrow; my daughter will deliver it to your quarters around midday.”
“Do it well,” he demanded. “I can’t focus on my training if my clothes are falling apart.”
“Hey!” she spoke up, scowling as she crossed her arms. It was like every shred of sense Y/N had disappeared the moment he talked down to her mother. “This is our day off, so you should be thankful that my mother is taking time out of her day to do this for you. Be nicer to her.”
“Y/N!” her mother scolded, her tone frantically apologetic as she turned back to the prince. “Please, forgive my daughter. She speaks her mind far too often, she doesn’t mean any disrespect.”
“No, you’re right.” A thoughtful expression found its way onto the young boy’s features, his eyes trained on her own displeasure. “My father always talks that way to the servants and I guess it came off on me. I’m sorry. It’s not nice.”
“Apology accepted,” Y/N said reluctantly.
“Thank you for your help. I’ll make sure to tell all my friends about your work.” The young prince smiled and walked off, though not without a curious second glance at the girl who righted his wrong.
As soon as the prince was out of range, Kura began to berate her daughter. “Y/N, by now you have to understand that under no circumstances may you ever speak to a member of the royal family like that! Do you know what kind of punishment you could’ve gotten if anyone else was around to hear that?”
She sighed and settled back on the ground, plucking a blade of grass from the ground. “I know, mother, but he needs to learn manners, prince or not!”
“That’s not how it works here. Our job is to serve the royal family without question. Sometimes they say mean things, but we can’t do anything about it. Apologies are not yours to demand or accept.”
“That’s not fair,” she mumbled as she wrapped the strand of grass around her finger. “Back home I could say whatever I wanted.”
“I know, honey, I know. But we’re not at home anymore, so the rules there don’t apply. We have to follow the rules that are put in place here. Can you promise that you’ll do that for me?”
“Yes, mother.” It was a phrase that seemed to always be at the tip of her tongue now that constant apologies were littered throughout her days, usually accompanied by a sigh.
“I miss home,” The murmured sentiment was almost too soft for Kura to hear and her heart sank. Her daughter’s gaze was trained on the ground, idle fingers tapping against her legs, and she put a momentary pause to her sewing with a sigh.
“Dear, don’t you have a healing session today with Rika?”
“You know I don’t,” she grumbled. “It’s my day off, which no one seems to remember.”
“Y/N.” Kura’s voice was more firm and she now understood that it wasn’t so much a suggestion as a demand. “I think you should pay Rika a visit.”
She heaved an exasperated sigh and stood up in a far more exaggerated gesture than necessary. “Alright. I’ll see you later tonight, mother.” And as Y/N began her walk back to the palace, a sour feeling brewed in her chest.
Kura watched on, unable to prevent the fear that permeated her thoughts. They were fortunate that the young prince was generous, but along with his mother they might’ve been the only two who shared those views in the royal family. She hated having to constantly admonish her daughter — the girl was too young to constantly live in fear, especially having already been through so much — but in the Fire Nation they couldn’t afford to do anything less. A spitfire girl like her daughter was constantly treading on thin ice, and it was all she could do to keep her safe.
Kura feared the day when she wasn’t there to protect her.
-
After a short walk that consisted of muttering things to herself and taking her anger out on the pebbles unfortunate enough to be in her path, Y/N found herself back at the palace. She let herself into a side entrance meant only for servants and set on her way to the infirmary when she collided with someone else — an apology was already on the tip of her tongue when she recognized it was Prince Zuko once more. She truly had rotten luck.
Y/N shot quick glances around to ensure that they were alone, then lowered her voice just for extra security. “My mom says I’m not supposed to talk to you like this, but I don’t care. Just because you’re the prince doesn’t mean you can just go around bumping into people!” she whispered angrily.
“But— you were the one who bumped into me the first time!”
She could feel her face heat up from embarrassment and she crossed her arms. “Just— whatever! Do you want something or do you just like popping up in places you're not supposed to be?”
“I guess I just wanted to talk to you,” Zuko shrugged. “I’ve never really seen you around before, and you’re interesting.”
Y/N scrutinized him trying to find out if he was tricking her somehow, but after staring at him for a solid ten seconds she finally caved. “Fine,” she said, already beginning to walk. “But you’d better make it fast. I have to get to a healing session.”
He took a few quick steps to catch up to her and frowned. “I’m the prince. Technically I could order you to stop and you would have to listen.”
“Yeah, well when it’s just the two of us, you’re just another boy. I don’t have time to talk to boys for hours.”
His brows creased for a moment as he thought about it, then ultimately shrugged once more. “Okay. You said you were going to a healing session- does that mean you’re a waterbender?”
She nodded, and Zuko waited for her to explain further. He heaved a sigh, realizing that he was going to have to carry this conversation. “Well.. what’s a waterbender doing in the Fire Nation?”
She fixed him with a puzzled look. “I’m a servant. That’s why I’m here.”
“I know that,” he frowned. “But most of the servants here are from the Fire Nation, and there are hardly any around your age. I’m just trying to get to know you better.”
Y/N sighed heavily — she now knew that the child prince of the Fire Nation had zero sense of boundaries, and if she wanted to get him off her back she had to answer to his satisfaction. “My mother is a waterbender from the Northern Tribe. She left home when she was young to travel the world and help who she could with her healing, and eventually she fell in love with an earthbender. That was my father — they ended up marrying and settling down in his village where they had me a few years later. Last month, my village was raided by the Fire Nation, and my mother and I were captured after they discovered we were waterbenders. And now I’m here, being annoyed by a prince.”
Zuko frowned once more — it seemed if he continued hanging out with this girl the expression would be stuck permanently on his face — and he suddenly felt ashamed for pushing. “I’m really sorry,” he muttered. “I had no idea.”
She heaved another sigh and shook her head. “Yeah, well they probably keep a lot of the bad things they do from you. It’s easier to send raids to destroy families when your children don’t know.”
“What happened to your father?” he questioned.
Y/N’s body stiffened, and she had never been more thankful to see the infirmary door. “Save your questions for next time,” she grumbled.
Zuko’s eyes lit up, her earlier stumble going unnoticed, and a small smile found its way across his lips. “There’s gonna be a next time?”
She managed to cover up her own growing smile with an ambivalent shrug. “As long as you don’t bump into me again.” Y/N opened the door and gave him a polite parting nod before disappearing inside.
“Good afternoon, Master Rika,” she said with a small bow. “I know this is unexpected, but my mother insisted that I come here to—”
“Let me guess,” the older woman interrupted with a raised brow. “Kura got tired of you and sent you here to annoy me instead?”
Y/N chuckled and rolled her eyes good-naturedly as she pushed the sleeves of her tunic up to her elbows. “When have I ever annoyed you?”
“That’s a question you don’t want me to answer,” she joked as she rummaged through the closet to get supplies. “Besides, what was that smile for? Meet a boy on your day off? A girl?”
Her eyes widened momentarily and she felt the heat rush to her cheeks intensely. “I don’t ask you about your life while we heal, you shouldn’t ask about mine!”
Zuko, who had been eavesdropping by the door in an extremely un-covert fashion, felt an even bigger smile. The girl was prickly as a cactus, but he found himself strangely drawn to her — not in spite of it, but because of it. He was so used to anyone he talked to outside of his immediate family and friends bending at the knee to fulfill his every will, and it was exhausting at times. But this girl — Y/N, as he had learned — was the complete opposite.
He started to walk away, sure that he was late for some kind of session of his own. Zuko found himself thinking of the glimpse of a smile he got, already finding himself scheming up ways to make it return.
And despite her request, he was almost certain he would try to bump into her again.
#zuko x reader#zuko x you#zuko fic#zuko#avatar the last airbender#avatar#atla#a:tla#avatar fic#atla fic#self insert#reader insert#avatar x reader#sadie writes
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heartbreaks
bucky x reader
summary: Bucky has experienced many heartbreaks in his life but this might just be the most painful
warnings: angst, some talk about blood, guns, knives, but not really
word count: 1,456
author’s note: got my heart broken and this is the outcome. ruelle’s the other side & war of heart songs fit this perfectly
Bucky was a man of heartbreak. Throughout his life, he experienced many. Some were more gentle than others, but all of them hurt nonetheless. The heartbreak of getting rejected back in his teen years, or the heartbreak of having to see Steve getting beat up. The pain of losing a sister, and later on, the pain of losing himself. The crushing guilt of taking someone's life; it didn't matter if he wasn't in control when he killed all those people. The sin and sorrow didn't ease. Bucky didn't enjoy pain, but he was for sure familiar with it. An intimate feeling but never a pleasurable one. It always crept upon him when he least expected it too. Sometimes it was soft, so slight Bucky wondered if it was even there. Other times, well other times, the pain was excruciating and exhausting, an icy cold feeling that crept into his bones and froze him in place. Those times were the hardest. In those times, he felt utterly hopeless. And even though he promised himself he wouldn't let the pain consume him ever again, there's no way to stop your heart from breaking. That night, the night when Steve walked in with y/n's nearly lifeless body in his hands, proved that pain always finds a way. It's ruthless and unpredictable.
"What happened?" Both Sam and Bucky jumped from their seats. Steve didn't have the energy to answer. His eyes were dull and tired and pleading for someone, anyone, to get the help y/n needed. Bucky saw the injuries on his best friend's body, but the deep, gushing red wounds on y/n made Steve's seem insignificant.
"Buck?" Bucky didn't realize he froze. Didn't realize pain bound him in his bones again. He didn't think much after that, not when her life depended on him. It took a split second for the soldier to take y/n's body from Steve and start running to the medical wing. Bucky has never run this fast in his entire life, not even when his life depended on it. Not even when people chased after him with guns and knives, ready to cut his heart out. No, this was the fastest Bucky has ever run. If Bucky ran fast enough, then maybe, just maybe, she'd get to live. He pressed her tighter to his chest.
"I need a doctor, please." Usually, Bucky remained calm. Usually, he only spoke when it was necessary. Over the years, words became a luxury Bucky didn't feel worthy of. He grew accustomed to staying silent and it's what he did most days. Some thought he was weird, a deadly outcast, a dangerous loner if you will. Others, oh, others didn't even try speaking to him. He was The Winter Soldier after all. What if he lost control? What if he tried to kill them? It was a title destined to burden him forever. Three simple words he could never get rid of, no matter how much or how hard he tried to run away from them. If one thing was for sure, it was that no one could ever hate him more than Bucky hated himself. He was a monster, right? Bucky accepted that the word monster was a name fit for a man like him until she came along.
"She'll survive, right?" He asked once again.
"Mister Barnes, I need you to remove your hand from the stretcher. We're taking her into the emergency surgery room now." Bucky took a shaky breath. y/n was a woman like nothing else. She'd yell snarky remarks at strangers if they looked at him for too long. Ask him the most ridiculous questions to get him to open up, and every once in a while, crack a smile because they were so stupid, he couldn't keep a neutral face. Lounge at him full speed during training when the only other person brave enough to do so was Steve; no, she gave her all every time. Never treated him as a broken man, but always sat outside his bedroom door to let him know she's there if he needs her. Accepted every touch he gave and didn't dare to ask for more, even though Bucky knew how much she loved it. y/n was extraordinary, so it came as no surprise that her love was extraordinary too. A special kind of love people hope to find in their lifetime.
"Please. I need to be in there." Bucky wasn't ready to let go.
The world wasn't ready to lose a soul like y/n. Bucky wasn't ready to lose y/n. It was a mean, painful heartbreak to see her fighting for her life and, as much as Bucky hated to admit it, losing.
“Please. Just tell me she’s fine.” He broke down, voice hoarse and tired.
"Mister Barnes, let go." And so they wheeled her away, leaving Bucky utterly hopeless. He hated feeling hopeless. Hated feeling as if there wasn't anything he could do to help. But he wasn't a doctor, wasn't a nurse either, so the only thing he could do was wait.
"You're okay?" Sam sat down beside him. It was just the two of them in the waiting room.
"I'm fine. How's Steve?"
"He needs a couple of bandages, but he'll survive." Sam joked, but his smile quickly fell when he noticed Bucky's expression. "I'm sure y/n will too." The only thing Bucky could do was nod. He thought about the first time she came into his room to help with the nightmares. Sleepy-eyed, wearing an old t-shirt and boxers for a pajama, a pair of fluffy socks on her feet, another in her hand. Here, warm feet, warm thoughts, she said then. Bucky couldn't lose her. He didn't have the chance to admit he wears those damn socks to bed every night since then. He thought about his first birthday at the compound. It was 5 am, everyone else was sleeping, so it came as a surprise when he found y/n in the kitchen when he walked in. The smell of coffee in the room, flour all over her face, clothes, the counters, and a crooked smile on her face. I wasn't sure what to get you for your birthday, so I baked a cake. Sorry it’s kind of ugly!, she said then. It was a very messily decorated cake with too much salt added to it, but Bucky was sure she stayed up all night just to make it for him, so it was the best cake he ever had. Bucky couldn't lose her. He didn't have the chance to admit that the cake meant more to him than she'll ever know. He thought about the first time he joined her for her usual Friday movie night. She had managed to escape going to a fancy gala with the others, instead opting for sweatpants and a big hoodie to hide all bruises and cuts from their mission a couple of hours prior. Bucky was mad as hell at her for the decisions she made on the field that day. I'm alive! No need to worry, she said then, chuckling, but it was the first time he saw fear paint her features. She fell asleep halfway into the movie, her body so worn out it fell against his. Bucky fell asleep a couple of minutes after that, and they both had the pleasure of explaining why they were "cuddling" to their teammates the next morning. But it was the first time Bucky slept peacefully through the night, so he couldn't lose her. He didn't have the chance to admit he was mad because he cared, perhaps so much it scared him, about her. He thought about the first times they snuck out from the compound together for late-night walks. The first times they spent the nights in each other's rooms. The first times they cuddled on movie nights for real. He thought about the first time they kissed too. That time she didn't say much, afraid it was all an illusion, but her body spoke volumes. The feeling of her lips on his, and her trembling hands finding their way into his hair, the nervous but cute smile when they pulled away? Bucky won't ever forget that. So no, he can't lose her yet, because he didn't have the chance to admit he fell in love. Deeply, painfully in love with her.
"Mister Barnes." Sam had already left him to go to sleep when the doctor approached him hours later. It took 4 coffees just for Bucky to stay awake but it didn't matter. All that mattered was her.
"Yes?"
"I'm afraid I have some bad news for you."
One sentence was enough to make the world underneath Bucky’s feet come crashing down.
#bucky x reader#bucky x you#bucky angst#bucky x reader angst#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes x reader angst#bucky x you angst#bucky imagine#bucky oneshot#heartbreak
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Romance Dawn for the East Blue
Inspired by @feriowind‘s blessed tweet about Yamato winding up on Dawn Island :)
Enjoy 4k words of the 4 brothers driving everyone crazy :D
[Read on AO3 or below the cut]
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Slowly blinking awake, Yamato struggled to remember why he was lying on the beach of some strange island, the smell of sea salt and trash mixing in the air into something almost worse than the confines of his prison of Onigashima. Almost. It was still freedom after all, and Yamato would gladly take this disgusting smell over his father threatening to place bombs on his wrists.
Looking around groggily, his eyes finally fell on the sad, wooden remains of a small boat, a boat that Yamato had been using to sail this unfamiliar sea during the past weeks. And he finally remembered the terrible events that had led him to this island.
Yes, it was a dark, stormy night, the likes of which Yamato had never seen even in the unpredictable New World, and definitely not since his escape in the peaceful and calm East Blue. He had fought to keep his boat from capsizing, fighting against the strong winds and ocean currents all by himself for hours… but then suddenly, a Neptunian so large it could only have come from the Calm Belt appeared. Yamato had managed to fight it off but unfortunately, his boat suffered too much damage from the power of his Thunder Bagua. He was then forced to swim to the nearest shore with the last bits of strength he had left—
"I saw the Lord of the Coast attack the fishing boat this person was sleeping in. It was really funny, when they woke up, they screamed so loud I think even the people in Fuusha heard. And then they fell in the water while trying to stand up. But the idiot apparently can't swim so I had to go fish them out."
Yamato froze in place at the boyish voice who was retelling his heroic battle so rudely. Wasn't he allowed to at least pretend?
Another boy, this one sounding even younger, started snickering then. "I like this person, Sabo! They’re so funny!"
"Luffy, you're the last one who should be laughing here," a third voice sighed. "Anchor boy." Yamato could almost hear the cheeky smirk on his face as he teased this 'Luffy'.
“Don’t call me that!” the youngest one cried, sounding like he was about to fight the other boy.
“Ace, don’t provoke him,” the first boy chided. “You’ll wake the idiot with your fighting.”
That was it.
“Will you stop calling me an idiot?!” Yamato shouted as he sprung up to a sitting position, an embarrassed blush on his face.
They all paused at the sudden movement, blinking up at him in shock. Yamato glowered at them one by one, taking note of how tiny these kids were—the blond and the freckled one looked no older than 12, while the other could be maybe 8. The blond was the only one dripping in water, just as much as Yamato himself was, and Yamato could only assume this was Sabo, the one who had pulled him out of the water. That would make Freckles ‘Ace’, and the youngest one ‘Luffy’.
Yamato had to wonder, though, how Sabo was able to save him all by himself. Yamato was 16 years old, a lot older than however old these boys were, and he was Kaido’s son—meaning he was already much taller than some adults. Although, he supposed he had seen stranger things and people a lot stronger than a human their size should have been. An image of Oden during his execution came to mind immediately but Yamato quickly chased the memory away.
“Oh look, the idiot’s awake,” Ace said lazily, looking thoroughly unimpressed by Yamato’s glare and simply returning it with one of his own.
Luffy, on the other hand, grinned brightly, hopping over to Yamato to stare up at him with stars in his eyes. “Are those horns? Real ones?”
Blinking, Yamato’s hand automatically reached up to touch one of his horns. “Yeah?” he replied slowly, unsure of what he was supposed to say. Was it that weird to people not from the Grand Line to see someone with features like this?
“That’s so cool! Join my pirate crew!” His grin only widened with his request—or demand.
Yamato tilted his head to the side. “You have a pirate crew?” he asked, genuinely curious.
“Well, not yet,” Luffy said, a small pout appearing on his lips. “But eventually, I will be the Pirate King so of course I will have one!” he announced looking so proud and sure of himself and Yamato felt his lips twitch upward.
“Sure, King, I’ll tag along with you,” he laughed, seeing no harm in indulging the adorable kid. And who knew? Maybe he really would end up sailing with him. After all, in 12 years, the Nine Red Scabbards would come back to Wano and Yamato needed to be back there by then. He needed to help open the country.
And who was to say he couldn’t bring the Pirate King with him?
Sabo clicked his tongue then, walking up to Luffy and ruffling his hair. “Stop that, you don’t even know this person’s name.”
“Oh right,” Yamato said, hitting t he palm of his hand with his fist in sudden realization. “Sorry. I’m Kozuki Oden. You can also call me Yamato. Son of Kaido. Thanks for helping me.”
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“Ace! Luffy! What’s the meaning of this?!”
Yamato groaned; always a wonderful way to wake up. “Are you drunk again, you bull-gorilla? Go away it’s too early for this,” he shouted back, not even bothering to open his eyes.
There was a moment of silence until someone stomped over to stand right above Yamato’s head. “What did you just call me, you brat?”
Finally, Yamato blinked up at the person with long ginger hair, a cigarette between their lips, and looking decidedly female. He closed his eyes again, mumbling, “Oh you’re not my father. Whatever then.” As soon as he was done, he pulled his blanket over his head to try and get some more peace and quiet.
It might not have been his father but it still was too early for this.
“Dadan, shut up,” some one whined from somewhere around halfway down Yamato’s body.
“Yeah, what’s the problem?” another person joined in, their voice coming from Yamato’s other side.
Oh right. Ace, Sabo, and Luffy had brought him back to their place last night; this had to be the nasty old hag they mentioned. Definitely seemed like one.
“First Garp drops you two on me, then you bring in more and more kids with you? What do you expect me to do, this isn’t a daycare!” It sounded like the woman was on the verge of a mental breakdown.
Finally, Sabo spoke up, sounding about as sleepy as Yamato felt, “Dadan, this is our brother, Yamao. Yamao, Dadan.” With that, he flopped back down, his head coming to rest against Yamato’s thigh.
“I’m not a pillow, you three!” Yamato snapped upon the realization of how the boys were laying with their limbs thrown all over the place, Yamato’s own body included. “And it’s Ya-ma-to,” he added with a sigh, already giving giving up on convincing them to not use Luffy’s nickname.
“Where the hell did you manage to pick up another brother,” Dadan complained and Yamato was starting to feel a little sorry for her. He had to admit that dealing with these three was like fighting a hurricane and it hasn’t even been 24 hours since he met them. At least now he was there, a responsible teenager to keep them in check. She should really be grateful he happened to… choose this island to land on.
“Alright, kid. I don’t care who you are you where you came from—” the woman paused, folding her arms over her chest as she stared down and Yamato— “but I will not feed you. One bowl of rice per day is all I can guarantee you.”
Yamato laughed, “That’s not necessary. Oden could do it, I would be a disgrace if I couldn’t take care of myself and my brothers, too.”
Dadan stared at him for a moment, blinking once, twice, before she threw he hands up in frustration. As she walked away, Yamato could hear her mumbling to herself about stupid brats who couldn’t be phased by anything and how she was going to ‘let Garp have it’ the next time he ‘bothered to show his sorry ass’ there.
Yamato simply shrugged and went back to sleep.
----------
Life on Dawn Island turned out to be surprisingly easy and, even more surprisingly, fun. It didn’t take Yamato long to get to know the forest, the mountain, and the Grey Terminal beyond it, running around the place with his little brothers like he was born there with them.
“Yamao, where are you going, that’s the opposite direction!” Sabo called after him in exasperation, pointing the right way.
A few days after his arrival, he went to retrieve his kanabo from the waters just off the shore. Ace had looked at him, asking why he was so desperate if it was the same weapon the father he so hated used and Yamato couldn’t admit he had a point but… he simply didn’t feel right without it. It was his weapon as well now, and the bull-gorilla wouldn’t take that away from him.
It took him three hours of diving but the happiness and rightness of his kanabo next to him was well worth the effort.
“What are you two anchors doing?” Ace shouted from where he was in the water and towards the two at the beach, looking incredibly annoyed.
Yamato and Luffy exchanged a glance before turning back to Ace and replying in unison, “Building a pirate ship from sand.”
Just then, Sabo’s head popped out of the water next to Ace. “I need a break,” he gasped, struggling to catch his breath after being underwater for so long.
“This club of yours better be made from gold, Yamao, or so help me,” Ace grumbled before leaving Sabo to rest and diving in instead.
Once he had his kanabo in hand, it became incredibly easy to hunt even the most ferocious beasts around, allowing Yamato enough room to stay back and direct the young brothers, giving them pointers and helping them with their hunting techniques. Usually, he simply watched, letting the boys do most of the hunt, even if it meant the prey got away sometimes. After all, making mistakes and losing was a good way to get stronger. So he let them do their own thing while making sure they were okay, and only jumping in when necessary.
“Okay, here’s the plan. We go around the river, then we split up. Me and Luffy will go up while you and Ace follow the riverbed. It’s risky, but on my signal, you will catch its attention and keep it distracted. Then me and Luffy jump down at its head. Hopefully that will at least knock it out so you and Ace can then come help us finish it. And Yamao—” Sabo paused, giving Yamato a hard, subtly threatening look— “if you run ahead screaming and scare it off again, we’re having you for dinner.”
Yamato could only gulp and nod obediently.
He even managed to impress the local Madonna, the cute pub owner Makino. The first time she had come to visit after Yamato had arrived, she immediately dropped all the food, alcohol, and children’s clothes that she had brought, and ran straight to him. She gave him all of her attention the rest of her stay. And even though Yamato wasn’t interested, he had to admit that being fawned over, and especially the jealous stares all the bandits were giving him, felt great.
“Oh my,” Makino muttered when she noticed Yamato. “Luffy did say Yamao was a little taller than him but…” she trailed off, her expression turning troubled.
“You don’t have any clothes big enough for him, do you?” Dogra asked, munching on one of the cones Makino had brought.
The young woman shook her head, sighing, “I think I’ll have to make them all from scratch. Yamao, can you come here? I need to take some measurements.”
"Yamao, you're blushing more than Ace did!" Luffy pointed out immediately, clutching his stomach as he doubled over in laughter.
Yamato made sure his hand was coated in haki when he hit the boy over the head.
Over all, he had to say he much prefered the life of a cool big brother over being a pirate crew’s' ‘young master’. It was a lot more fun, a lot easier to breathe. He never felt more free than he did while laughing and running around the mountain, plotting pranks on their brothers with Ace, or getting grounded— getting thanked by Sabo for running off and beating up the pathetic excuses for pirates who had hurt Luffy and threatened the boys' treasure stash.
Even Dadan's frustrated screaming felt more loving than anything the bull-gorilla of a biological parent had ever shown him. And no, it definitely wasn’t much more embarrassing.
----------
"I don't want to be a marine!" Luffy screamed one morning just as the others were getting ready to head out to work their brand new tree house base.
Both Sabo and Ace froze, turning to stare at each other for a moment with wide eyes.
"Run?" Ace asked in a whisper.
"Run," Sabo nodded seriously before they both turned to look at Yamato.
The teen simply sat there, turning his confused gaze between Ace, Sabo, and the direction from which Luffy's voice came a few seconds earlier. "What's going on?"
Ace and Sabo exchanged a glance once more, seemingly coming to a mutual understanding before Ace answered, "Go see for yourself. Luffy could probably use the help."
Immediately, Yamato was on his feet, heading outside to save his adorable baby brother from whatever monster he was facing. He was slightly suspicious of the high five Ace and Sabo had exchanged, not as sneakily as they probably thought, but as long as Luffy was in trouble, it didn't matter much to him.
As soon as he made it outside the little house, his eyes fell on the two figures fighting just a little bit away from the house. Obviously, one of them was Luffy, who was visibly fuming; growling and snapping his teeth like he was getting ready to literally bite the legs off of his target.
The target in question was a tall, although obviously much shorter than Yamato, and muscular old man clad in a bright red and white aloha shirt, his arms crossed over his chest as he stared Luffy down. He looked thoroughly unimpressed by Luffy’s pistol punches—which admittedly still left much to be desired despite Yamato’s efforts to help him out; it was only a question of time before he managed to find the right bang feeling. The man he was fighting looked vaguely familiar but Yamato couldn’t place that face no matter how much he wrecked his brain.
But it didn’t matter.
“Luffy, are you okay?!” Yamato called in alarm, rushing forward while preparing to swing his kanabo at the stranger.
The both of them turned to look at him then, identical angry expressions on their faces and suddenly, Yamato realized who the man reminded him of. It was more than obvious where Luffy got his personality and expressions. Maybe he should… not attack this person on sight?
Making the decision for him, Luffy huffed upon seeing him approach, raising his hand and making Yamato stop. “Stay back, I’m fine! I can kick gramps’ ass myself!”
“Who’s ass are you gonna kick?” the man snapped, his light punch making Luffy clutch at his head. “You can’t win against the fist of love, Luffy!”
Yamato blinked. That was obviously haki but… fist of love?
Ignoring Luffy’s complaints, the man gave Yamato an obvious once over. “And who are you? Wait—” he paused, looking like he just remembered something— “you’re Yamao, aren’t you?”
“My name is Ya-ma-to, and I’m Luffy’s big brother,” Yamato replied, not entirely sure why he even bothered to correct anyone on his name at this point. No one ever listened.
“Part of the family already, hm? You have an impressive swing; you’ll make a fine marine.” The grandfather nodded, grinning at Yamato in approval.
Yamato did a double take. “I’m not going to be a marine!” he responded immediately, the horror he felt at the though clear in his voice.
“Exactly! We’re gonna be pirates!” Luffy joined in, fully recovered and launching a new rubbery pistol punch, which went completely ignored.
Gramps puffed up, raising his fist threateningly in front of himself. “Nonsense! All four of you will be the strongest marines the navy’s ever had if I have any say in it!”
“No way!” Luffy and Yamato cried in unison, the both of them jumping at the man in a joint attack.
A second later the both of them were rolling on the ground together, clutching at their heads and trying to recover from yet another fist of love. Seriously, Yamato only just met this guy, why was he getting a fist of love? Or better yet, why did it sound like he was already considered a grandson? He didn’t even know his new grandfather’s name.
He guessed it was simply one more proof of his relation to Luffy. It was exactly the same to when Luffy had decided by himself that Yamato was the big brother now, not even half an hour after meeting him, and just like back then, Yamato was powerless in defying that decision.
Not like he wanted to. He would be lying if he said being considered family so easily, so warmly, so unconditionally didn’t make him happy. But still…
“I’m already a pirate,” he growled. Not to mention marines did nothing but fight Oden and the Pirate King’s crew. Like hell was he becoming one of them.
Gramps took a deep breath, looking like he was about to explode, but Yamato interrupted him. “The navy wouldn’t want someone with my blood anyway. They’d execute me on the spot,” he said flatly, looking the man straight in the eyes, trying to convey how disgusted by the institution, the world government, the current world he was. Like hell was he participating in that. He’d much rather wait patiently for the one who was going to change it all and support them.
Neither of them said anything for a moment, neither of them faltering as they stared each other down silently. Until finally, gramps grinned, a smile so similar to Luffy’s that Yamato startled.
“If blood’s the problem, all the more reason you should join,” he announced, the smile never leaving his face even as his eyes turned almost sad.
Yamato tilted his head to the side as he watched the man slowly look at Luffy before his eyes slid in the direction of the bandits’ house. When Yamato turned to look, he could see Ace turning around and walking away, Sabo quickly following with a worried expression on his face.
Well.
At least Yamato wasn’t the only one who obviously hated his biological family around here.
Deciding to leave Ace in Sabo’s hands, Yamato turned back to the problem at hand but before he could snap at the man, Luffy did so for him, “No. He’s joining my crew!”
“Over my dead body!” gramps roared in response, looking like he was going to go off on a rant.
Yamato, however, wasn’t about to sit around and listen to that. “No, over my dead body. Do you even hear how fucked up it is that you need to join the navy to be safe from getting hunted? Neither of us going there,” he growled, baring his teeth for good measure.
The old man paused, blinking at Yamato once, then twice, before he burst out in laughter, one so loud, so honest, and so contagious that, despite having no idea what was so funny, it made even Yamato want to laugh. All his anger was forgotten as his lips stretched in a grin, shaking his head at the sudden realization of how weird this entire situation was. He barely knew what was even happening but… it wasn’t like Yamato ever really paused to think about things. If it felt right, he’d go with it. If it didn’t, fuck it.
And this, incredibly, felt right.
It was only a long while later that gramps finally caught his breath enough to speak, “I like you, kid. Are you sure you’re Kaido’s son?”
As if hit by the bull-gorilla’s Thunder Bagua, Yamato stopped laughing, only staring with an open mouth as dread ran through him. “How?” he could only say after a dreadfully long moment of heavy silence. Or maybe it was only a second. But it was too much, and made Yamato feel too on edge. Ready to fight. He didn’t want to even hear the bull-gorilla’s name; definitely didn’t want to hear it in relation to himself.
Gramps looked at him as if asking if he was kidding then, but with his only answer being a glare, he started laughing anew. “Kid, if you don’t want people to know, or the asshole finding you, maybe stop introducing yourself with ‘son of Kaido’ to anyone you meet. You have poor Makino quite worried.”
Oh.
Whoops?
“Yamao, you’re stupid,” Luffy laughed.
The teen huffed, shoving hard at Luffy’s shoulder. “You’re stupid,” he hissed back, making Luffy stick his tongue out at him.
Yamato saw it only fair he do the same in return.
Just then, a dark shadow loomed over the both of them and they slowly looked up, only to see gramps looking down at them with an evil grin on his face, slowly cracking his knuckles. “Whatever you say, I will train you stupid brats into proper marines, yet.”
Yamato finally understood why Ace and Sabo’s immediate reaction was to run, then send Yamato as what he could now only assume being a sacrifice. There was no way even Yamato was going to be a fair match for this man. “Oh fuck,” Yamato cursed, scrambling to his feet to follow Luffy, who who was already hafway down the clearing away after taking the first popped knuckle as his signal to bolt.
“Watch your fucking language in front of your baby brothers!” gramps shouted after him just before something that might have been a pine cone flew past him at an impossible speed.
Yamato and Luffy exchanged a glance, identical grins spreading in their lips before they both took a deep breath. “ACE! SABO! HELP!!”
If they were to die today, they’d make sure to take the other two down with them.
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Hours later, Yamato lay awake in his bed on the floor of the mountain bandits’ cabin long after his brothers started snoring softly. He was exhausted from the day spent laughing and running away from gramps—or Garp, as he had finally learned earlier that evening once Dadan finally stopped hiding from the man—but as opposed to the others, he didn’t want to sleep.
Not when gramps and Dadan were busy talking on the other side of this thin wall. What had started as the two of them sharing their frustrations and complaints about their kids quickly turned into fondness as they instead told each other stories about the brothers and their antics. Yamoto wasn’t surprised the bandit knew exactly where their secret base was, just as he wasn’t surprised by Garp only pulling out the most embarrassing stories he probably could.
It was a good thing the other three had managed to pass out the second their heads hit their pillows or they’d be trying to fight the old man all over again over it.
Yamato, on the other hand, refused to miss out on a second of this. The adults might not have allowed him to drink with them, claiming Yamato was too young for that—to which he not-so-politely disagreed, but then Garp’s fist disagreed with him—but they couldn’t stop him from listening. Those were his brothers they were talking about and he wanted to hear all about the past ten years of their lives that he had missed.
And if he maybe got a little bit happy every time they brought Yamato up, well… no one had to know that.
“Yamao, I swear if you don’t stop laughing at their shitty stories, I will strangle you with your own hair.”
#one piece#yamato#one piece yamato#luffy#monkey d. luffy#portgas d. ace#ace#sabo#one piece sabo#asl brothers#yamato & asl#canon divergence#found family#comedy#fluff#idiots being idiots#i love them#yamato thinks he's a lot cooler than he is#and i love him#beautiful idiot king#katie pretends to fic#asl#not me avoiding writing my lawlu asl fic by writing yasl#OH WELL#now back to avoiding said fic with pure lawlu#hopefully i did the au idea at least a little justice :')#also remind me to never post anything that's over 2k on tumblr ever again#cause of death: formating text posts on tumblr dot com
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Eskel Meets a Vampire in a Cemetery
I wrote this ficlet for @ro-the-bard-writer months ago, but never put it on tumblr. So, I have filled it out and here it is!
The question was, how would Eskel react if he met Regis? So here is the cozy little ficlet I came up with in response. (Implied/mentioned Regis/Geralt. Rated T probably just because of the moonshine.)
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Eskel’s cart clattered down the rocky road. It was night, but the full moon sat high above him, illuminating his path. He was exhausted, so when a rise in the road fell away, and he caught sight of his destination, he groaned in relief.
The cemetery was set off from the road by a broken down fence. It hardly seemed like protection, but few people were eager to disturb a cemetery. Dirty white headstones protruded from the ground like exposed bones. Vines of such dark green that they could have been black draped themselves over the fence and the headstones. Fog clung possessively to the tops of the taller crypts.
Thankfully, witchers were not repulsed by reminders of death. It felt familiar, which was almost a comfort. Eskel squinted as he led his horse closer, cart bumping behind it. At last, he spotted a single figure leaning against a gray stone crypt.
The man was clad in an elegant belted coat and his black leather boots were crossed casually. His black hair and salt and pepper sideburns swept away from his pale face in a meticulous swoop.
He would look anachronistic in a busy market or tavern, but somehow he fit perfectly in his current surroundings. Eskel got the impression that the man had been built at the same time as this ancient graveyard, like a matching set piece.
The witcher pulled his cart to a stop in front of the man, and wiped his brow. The overwhelming scent of a mix of herbs drifted towards him.
“Are you waiting here for Eskel?” He looked around for Geralt, but this man seemed to be alone.
“That I am." The man bowed with a courteous swoop. His smile was eager and his eyes shone.
Eskel rolled his sore neck and took one more look around. “Geralt not here yet? He said I was to meet the two of you.”
Geralt being absent from a meetup with a man who was so clearly a vampire, should have sent off a symphony of alarm bells in Eskel's mind. But Regis looked like a teacher or an accountant. And although Eskel knew better than anyone that looks could be deceiving, his manner and expression also put the witcher at ease.
“Ah yes, my apologies. He has been delayed. I am to entertain you until you arrive. Did he...tell you anything about me?”
"No," admitted Eskel. "He just said he had someone important he wanted me to meet.”
“Ah. Yes, well. Then I am Regis. Emiel Regis Rohellec Terzieff-Godefroy, barber surgeon.” The man offered his hand.
Eskel's eyes roamed every detail on the man, who stood quietly, allowing himself to be assessed.
“Vampire, right?”
Regis chuckled. “It took Geralt some time to figure that one out.”
“Interesting,” said Eskel.
“But yes, it is indeed true. I am a vampire. Is that going to be a problem?” Regis had been holding his hand out, but began to lower it.
“Nope.” Eskel grasped his hand and shook it firmly. Unsurprisingly it was cool. “Eskel. Witcher.” He couldn't be sure yet who this person was to Geralt, but he decided not to treat him as an enemy. He would simply wait and see.
A bleat issued from his cart. Regis raised his brows.
“Yeah. Brought my goat. She hunts with me sometimes.”
Regis nodded. “I see.”
Eskel lifted Lil Bleater off the cart. She promptly scampered up onto a headstone and bleated into the night.
“Sorry about that." Eskel reached to shoo her down.
“Oh that isn’t necessary. They’re dead, they don’t mind,” Regis assured him. “But I do see scrapes on her back and stomach. May I help with that?”
“Sure, thanks. She got spooked and tried to make it under a fence.”
“Ah. I have just the thing back at my cottage. Let me show you there. Geralt will meet us shortly.”
Going with the vampire to a second location was another risk. But Eskel did want help with Lil Bleater. It wouldn't do to have her get an infection and die on him.
They walked mostly in silence through the swaying weeds, cool air on their faces and the sounds of crickets filling the night air.
Regis politely asked about his trip over and how his last hunt went. Eskel obliged and was surprised to find Regis interested in the details of his profession. He ended up talking more than he normally did, about forktail mating habits and his own personal tips for hunting them. But as he spoke, he racked his brain.
Why was it so important to Geralt that he meet this vampire? Who was he to Geralt? And why did he seem nervous? Again, Eskel tucked that away as an important fact, just so he didn't grow lazy or complacent.
They arrived at the moss covered cottage and Regis led them to a small barn in the back. It was a shack, really, but it was dry and protected from the elements. Regis tended patiently to Lil Bleater. Then he found her a warm spot for her to recover with Regis’s other animals.
Then Regis invited him into the cottage. It was a small, cozy home and a warm fire flickered inside. Eskel decided to accept his invitation but when he actually stepped inside, he hesitated in the doorway.
He couldn't help it. It was instinct. Regis waited, almost apologetically.
"You can wait for Geralt, if you like."
Eskel wasn't sure where. The barn maybe. But he had come this far. He sweeped his gaze along the interior of the cottage.
It was rustic, but welcoming. It was small and open, so he could see every area of the home. Quilts were piled over stuffed chairs. A copper kettle sat on a well used stove. And just as his hesitance began to border on rude, Eskel's noticed some things that put him at ease.
Geralt’s boots sat neatly under the bed, next to a pair of slippers. Geralt’s extra set of armour hung in the closet next to suits. A loaf of rosemary thyme bread (Geralt’s favorite) sat cooling on the table. A dagger he knew Vesemir had gifted Geralt lay on a counter.
Eskel stepped inside and Regis grinned. He shut the door after him and took his coat. As he hung it on a hook, he noticed Eskel eyeing the knife.
“He left it for me. So I could defend himself.”
Eskel chuckled. “Higher vampires can still put people to sleep, transform into bats, and drink blood if they want to, right?”
“Indeed. But that is Geralt for you.”
“It certainly is."
“Please, Eskel, have a seat." Regis swept an arm towards the most comfortable looking one in the house. Eskel settled himself into with an appreciative groan.
"Make yourself at home. Feel free to take off your boots, and put your feet up."
Eskel complied, wiggling his toes near the the crackling fire. “When will he be getting back?”
“A few hours." Regis bustled around setting things right in the kitchen, lighting a fire, and putting on the kettle. He opened a cabinet and pulled out a bottle and two cups.
“There was a contract that came up at the last minute. I’d normally go with him, but we were to meet you, so I stayed to be the greeting party.”
Eskel's nostril's flared when Regis unstoppered the bottle, and he smiled involuntarily. He was weary and moonshine would be just the thing.
“Moonshine?”
“Yes, please."
Regis poured him a cup and sat in next to him in a creaking rocking chair. He clutched a cup that smelled like tea.
“You don’t want any?” asked Eskel, tilting the moonshine towards him. He might normally be suspicious of a vampire who offered him a drink he didn’t himself imbibe.
But Geralt’s boots were sitting under the bed.
“No,” said Regis. “I’m a teetotaler.”
That was fine with him. Eskel wasn't the kind of person who needed people to drink when he drank. When he brought the cup to his lips, he inhaled and said, “mandrake?”
“Yes,” said Regis. “In small quantities--”
Eskel took a sip and exhaled, "it’s not poisonous."
"That's right," said Regis in approval. He watched him over his cup as he sipped his tea.
“Also. Not effective for love spells.”
“Quite right,” said Regis.
They discussed the merits of mandrake in potions and the richness of the flora and fauna surrounding Regis's cottage. The vampire's expertise was impressive, so Eskel pressed him on various recipes that would improve his potions.
Regis related some of the brews he had concocted for Geralt and vowed to send various herbs and medicaments home with him.
After some time, they grew silent. Only the sound of the flames crackling and the creak of Regis’s rocking chair filled the silence.
Eskel decided to say it out loud. “So, you and Geralt?”
“Geralt and me.” Regis's black eyes sparkled. “Is that going to be a problem? A monster in the witcher family? A traditionally hostile relationship?”
Eskel chuckled. “We know better than anyone that monsters are not always monstrous. And if Geralt is happy, that’s all that matters to me.”
Regis hummed contently and took another sip of his tea. “That’s a relief, if I’m being honest.”
Eskel took another drink and blew out a breath. Then he lifted his cup in a salute. “You and your excellent moonshine are welcome in our family, Regis.”
Regis relaxed back into his chair and crossed his legs. "Thank you Eskel. I appreciate that."
Eskel nodded a gesture that meant 'you're welcome,' as he stared at the fire. "I see a benefit to this, actually."
Regis looked interested. "What would that be?"
Eskel set the cup down and stretched, sitting back deeper into the chair. He could sleep in this thing happily. “Geralt will have to stop ribbing me about the succubus.”
Regis laughed, delighted. “I’ll see that he does.”
And he smiled into his tea.
#the witcher#eskel#emiel regis#fic#geralt x regis#descarada writes geralt x regis#descarada writes#the witcher books inspired
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Firstly No pressure to read any of the below it’s just a lil rant after I ended up on the wrong side of tumblr!! ( + I have ADHD and i forgot my meds lol so its a bit disoriented and all over the place) and no response necessary unless you want to!
Oh god I accidentally ended up on the wrong side of tumblr....never ever ever ever again, I went back so fastttt lol im laughing at myself rn for how quickly i clicked away from disgust
i ended up on a blog that stalks u and some other larries and says absolutely atrocious things abt louis (I can send u their @ if u'd like so u can block them) and fully bought the stunt bs happening rn and it was horrible obvs but like i just do not understand like it was so creepy gina and im just so disgusted bc why? yk?
like u were not joking abt anti's actually being obsessed with larries - like half this person's blog was talking abt you and amy and i was just so shocked cause why??? like mate come on what the actual f? get a life please?? (im quite new so im like just now realising how insanely weird and obsessed these anti's are)
Also it was just an overall eye opener for multiple things:
Starting with that 1. the way 1DHQ and 1D Management managed to alienate larries actually worked and i like knew but truly doing a proper deep dive and seeing multiple blogs hate on larries and like obsessively stalk us was insane?? Like they truly believe everything they’re being fed???
Side Note: Lowkey feeling very lucky to have had the education i have because even before i even joined this fandom i believed partially none of the relationships in the news bc like i knew abt this industry and how it worked yk? i mean its logic? i have so many mates that arent even in the fandom that know i am in the fandom and texted me when the articles started rolling out calling it out for what it was: A PR stunt
Hell someone i know whom i had never even talked abt fandom stuff/stunt stuff fully texted me making a joke out of it!!! like people who aren’t even in our fandom can see it and its just insanely surprising that if they can why cant the antis?? im just a bit shocked rn
both from 1. finding someone who actually believes in this stunt and 2. multiple blogs that fully commit their time to stalking u and other larries and once again i knew but fully seeing it
YK AT FIRST I WAS LIKE IS THIS A JOKE I DIDNT BELIEVE IT GINA I THOUGHT SOMEONE WAS PULLING MY LEG OR THIS PERSON WAS IDK BEING SARCASTIC AND HAD A MESSED UP SENSE OF HUMOUR but ye anyway
It made me realise that 1DHQ knew what the fuck they were doing when they were trying to alienate larries from the rest of the fandom, once again i am feeling extraordinarily grateful to have grown up with an education where i was literally taught to never trust anything and to always think things thru using logic - “does it makes sense to you? if not find out why, there usually a reason behind everything” my yr 9 english teacher used to say smth like that all the time and it just never left me bc she was always teaching us to judge everything and to take every piece of news we read entertainment or otherwise with a grain of salt and to always if we’re gonna give someone else our opinion or spread this information do our research (its what i am when i say i feel lucky to have had the education i have had)
Eye Opener 2: Anti’s are fully standing y’all u were 100% correct this is some next level stan behaviour if i’ve ever seen some, you’re famous gina!!
It is while surprisingly to realise that anti’s fully believe these things, more surprising to see how they treat larries bc why on earth would u treat any other human being this way??? like dont get me wrong they’re horrible ppl and i fully felt like sending them a message telling them exactly that but i would never bc i just dont want to make another person feel bad abt themselves even if they are that shitty of a person and it was very tempting
I just would like to understand why they feel the need to do this? like why hate on a whole other person? for what believing smth diff to u? having a difference of opinion? how tf are they gonna make it when they get a job??? like??? do u know how often i run into a person with a different opinion then me? it shouldn’t be that big of a deal! we should still be able to be friends with antis! but we’re not - not for lack of trying btw!! they’re just so mean and rude??? when i was in other fandoms when someone believed different things there was never this much hatred at someone for it!! hell there was barely any bc it was understood that it was normal to have diff opinions abt things and i just am truly fascinated by these ppl i swear they remind how stupid the human race can sometimes be not for what they believe (altho ngl a lil of that too) but for how they treat other ACTUAL human beings with different opinions to them
Eye Opener 2.5: Some people need lives, man like they proper do need lives and something to do maybe a hobby or smth? just like a life they need to get one of those and actual live it
and Eye Opener 3: I already felt this way but like even god damn stronger now you deserve a formal apology from both 1DHQ and the universe
and until we get that u deserve amazing things coming from the boys on your bdays to make up for it
Lastly Gina I hope you didn't read thru all that bc I couldn’t even read it over and thus sorry for any grammar/spelling mistakes and I would also like to say that I love your blog and everything about you! you’re an absolute angel and one of the kindest ppl I have ever had the pleasure of well not meeting but stumbling across, you truly make this fandom a much much much better place with your presence (I shudder to think of it without u) that said if you ever need to take breaks or leave Im sure you already know but you should 100%
You first!!! Always! :)
Have a good day Gina, I hope its an absolutely amazing one!
Hi darling. LOL! Reading this was like talking with my kids when they don't take their ADHD meds. Lots of excited thoughts!! I loved it.
And yeah, that blog and their 4 followers are really... not well. But you're very right. 1DHQ made this fandom a breeding ground for people to hate larries and to think it's something Harry and Louis would both approve of. It's gross.
The gaslighting here is powerful, so thank goodness for fans like you who know to question what they're told and to look at things with logic and to do their best to see through their own biases.
Thank you for all the sweet words and your offer to kick butt (in your other message). I really appreciate it!
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