#sometimes you meet your idols and everything goes perfectly well!!! | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

lettheladylead · 3 years

Text

Not Your Aunt

Chapter 5: Louie [ao3 link]

When she’d gotten the call a few weeks earlier, Goldie initially thought it was from Scrooge. She gave her cell phone number out to a very small number of people, after all, and Scrooge’s home line had its own customized ringtone so she always knew it was him.

Instead, it was one of his kids. Well, one of Della’s kids, she was pretty sure. He introduced himself as Louie and she did a quick search online to see what he looked like - the only run-in she’d had with the kids so far they’d all been dressed the same so even if she had been paying attention, she wouldn’t have been able to tell the difference.

Her first instinct had been to tell him no and to move on with her life. She was a busy woman and she had other things to do. But there was a little part of her that was mad at Scrooge for never calling her about the note she’d left in his hat. There was no way he hadn’t seen it and she left him a treasure she didn’t have to because she wanted to go on an adventure with him again. But no. He didn’t call and it’d been almost a year. So she said yes to mentoring because she knew it’d piss him off and there was no greater joy in her life.

Or she’d thought there was no greater joy. But the feeling of someone coming back for her - coming to save her life despite how she treated them - it was something else entirely. Scrooge had done it once or twice in the past, but not recently and not happily. She couldn’t even remember the last time someone had come back for her and her feelings about it were a bit overwhelming so she didn’t even give the kid another glance before bolting out the door.

It’d been a few days since that party and Goldie was enjoying being several hundred million dollars richer. It wasn’t like Sharpie needed the money - he had Scrooge’s inheritance to look forward to (though if Scrooge never planned to retire or die, maybe not? She didn’t like to think about it too much).

She was laying in bed in a familiar hotel in the outskirts of Seattle when she pulled out her wallet to stare at the photos again. The last few days, she’d spent a ridiculous amount of time just staring and thinking and not doing or saying anything. She felt pathetic.

But looking at the kid’s goofy little smile and thinking back to when he helped her effectively pull off their improvised scheme warmed her heart. She’d never felt this way about a member of Scrooge’s family before. Della and Donald had treated her like an aunt on occasion (usually just as a way to get on her nerves), but Goldie never saw either of them as a true schemer like herself. Donald didn’t have any interest in money or treasure and Della idolized her uncle too much to think for herself.

But Louie was different and Goldie could see that. Just the fact that he’d reached out to her after hearing the story of Gumption (which, from what he told her, had a lot of inaccuracies to it. Scrooge loved to exaggerate or conveniently forget details when he told stories of their past) made her want to see what he had to offer.

Initially, her plan had been to rob the kid and take something small of Scrooge’s - small enough to carry without much effort, but big enough to piss him off - then Scrooge would angrily chase her down and they could argue and she’d tease him and it would’ve been a nice little time. Their Golden Lagoon adventure was nice but Glomgold had ruined a lot of the fun she’d planned so it’d have been nice to get back to basics.

Instead she got weird, mixed up feelings about this kid who reminded her of herself and Scrooge and Donald all combined into one tiny package. She did not want to get attached to anyone in Scrooge’s family. The only reason their relationship worked was because she kept him on edge and interested by keeping him at arm’s length. Getting close to his family was not arm’s length. It was too much. She’d have to push Sharpie away the same way she did with Donald and Della and that was that.

She glanced over at the photo she had of Scrooge in Dawson and felt her heart skip a beat. She loved this picture. She loved thinking about the time they spent together back then, even if he’d broken her heart by the end of it. It didn’t matter anymore. She’d give almost anything to be young with him again - maybe even get a fresh start.

Goldie let out a loud sigh and tossed the wallet across the room - she watched it soar and land gracefully on top of her bags. Her bags were stuffed with gold and jewels and treasures from that crazy little birthday party and she hadn’t had the chance to stop in Dawson and drop it all off at the closest thing she had to a home.

Peeking out of one of her bags was the idol she’d stolen from Sharpie’s room before their adventure began. She stared at it and wondered what kind of significance it held for him. She wasn’t going to give it back, of course, because he needed to be taught a lesson about trusting con artists. But also a little part of her thought about maybe giving it back depending on how important it was to him.

She rolled over and stared up at the ceiling. Kids made people soft. Scrooge was so different than he was just forty years earlier and sometimes she didn’t know what to make of it. If thirty-year-old Goldie knew he could be this way, maybe she would’ve approached their relationship differently. But he always spoke so harshly about children and family and she never could’ve imagined him changing his mind.

Her thoughts were cut off by a buzz and a ding! from her phone and Goldie huffed as she reached into her pocket to grab it. She hoped desperately that it wasn’t from someone work-related (though, really, who else could it be?). She wasn’t in the mood to think about hotel management. She’d rather drink wine and soak in the bathtub and think about nothing.

She glanced at her phone and saw a text message waiting for her. It was a short message from an unknown number that just said:

“Do you know how to text?”

Goldie blinked a few times at it and wondered briefly if this was a wrong number. Then she glanced at the area code and realized it was coming from Duckburg. She had a pretty good idea who it was and her heart skipped another beat.

There was an unspoken rule between her and Scrooge. He never reached out to her first (except for two very unique occasions). She was always the one to contact him. But Louie wasn’t Scrooge and Louie followed his own rules, apparently.

She took a moment to think before typing a short response. “Yes, I do.”

“Cool.”

She wondered if the conversation was over until she suddenly received an influx of emojis. Goldie raised an eyebrow at the group of ducks and dollar signs and bags of money and angry faces, not really sure what to make of it.

“What’s all this supposed to mean?”

She watched as her phone said he was typing and then not typing and then typing again.

“I’m still mad at you.”

Goldie let out a breathy laugh and rolled her eyes. He really was related to Scrooge.

“What’d you do with all the money? Put it in your very own Money Bin?”

She rolled onto her side and thought about whether or not to answer him. Though she couldn’t hide everything from Scrooge over the years, she did a good job of keeping most of her life hidden away from his wandering eyes. Though Louie was definitely great at keeping things from the adults in his life, he was still just a kid and she didn’t want anything slipping out accidentally.

“Not sure that’s any of your business.”

He started typing and then stopped again. Goldie stared at her phone for a full minute without getting a response before realizing she may have hurt his feelings a bit with that one. She groaned and dropped her phone back on the mattress. She didn’t want to care about something so trivial, but…

She sighed deeply and grabbed the phone again, quickly typing another message without giving it much thought.

“I have several places to put my earnings. A lot of different projects and business ventures. And the rest goes into savings.”

Goldie huffed at herself and put the phone down again. She’d managed to avoid this kind of thing easily with Donald or Della - keeping herself at a distance and never spending significant time with either of them without Scrooge. But just one afternoon alone with Sharpie and she felt an urge to protect his stupid little feelings and his stupid little face. There was something about seeing fear in those big ol’ eyes that made her heart beat faster.

Her phone beeped again and she hesitated for just a moment before grabbing it.

“What kind of business ventures? If you’re looking for investment opportunities, I could give you a pitch that even Scrooge McDuck hasn’t seen.”

She smiled and thought back to the posters on the wall of the boys’ bedroom; several of them were very juvenile business ideas that would never take off in the real world. But she could appreciate his sense of inventiveness.

“Even if you got Scrooge to sit for a meeting, I doubt he’d invest more than a dollar into anything.”

“You overestimate him! He wouldn’t give me more than a quarter.” Followed by several angry and sad and money bag emojis.

Goldie laughed and sat up in the hotel bed, feeling a little more like herself after having an opportunity to make fun of her...ex. Or whatever they were. It didn’t matter. She was having fun.

“Keep trying. I’m sure you’ll wear him down.”

He sent another group of emojis and Goldie decided that was the end of that. She put her phone back on the bed, screen side down, and turned to look over at the idol again. She definitely wouldn’t be giving it back.

Louie stared at his phone for a few minutes, wondering if he’d be getting another message. To be perfectly honest, he hadn’t expected any response at all, so the past ten minutes were giving him a lot of confusing, conflicting feelings.

He liked Goldie. She stole all his money and kind of broke his heart a little, but before that he’d started to think of her as family. It was hard to not think of her that way when she risked her life for his. But still...the money.

There was definitely no plan to contact her again when she left without even saying goodbye. Louie was frustrated and sad and annoyed and kept thinking about how he’d gotten too close. He knew when he first contacted her that this was a business decision - a con artist was not someone to befriend or trust or depend on. But in just a few short hours he felt a pull to her that he couldn’t really explain.

And he couldn’t stop thinking back to the way he’d felt when she suggested they work together again. He knew liars and thieves and knew she wasn’t an honest person, but he really felt like she meant it. And despite what happened afterwards and how angry he was for the next few days, Louie couldn’t help but wonder what that really meant for them.

She and Uncle Scrooge clearly weren’t getting back together anytime soon. And Goldie was a world traveler - always off on some new adventure somewhere far away. Even if they did work together again, it could be years away. Uncle Scrooge said sometimes he went years without hearing from her.

Louie didn’t want to wait years. Goldie was the first person in a long time to appreciate his scheming mind without a hint of irony. It was refreshing and it made him feel better about the fact that she’d completely robbed him.

So he texted her. It was a long shot considering her age and the fact that she fumbled with her smartphone like someone who was still struggling to figure out how touch screens work, but Louie figured it was worth the attempt.

He looked at their messages again and smiled. Texting with a weird old thief lady was not exactly on his list of things he expected to be doing at the tender age of eleven, but it was kind of fun. She could tell him embarrassing stories about Uncle Scrooge or Uncle Donald or his mom. Maybe she knew other people in the family she could talk about.

With only a moment’s hesitation, Louie pressed his thumb down on her phone number and went to add a contact name. He stared at the screen for a few seconds before happily typing Aunt Goldie and hitting save.

He had to admit, it just kind of felt right.

#ducktales #louie duck #goldie o'gilt #scrooge mcduck #scheme team #fic #fics #not your aunt #this one took forever cuz im not rly happy with it but im excited to do the next one

60 notes · View notes

mikaze-discord · 3 years

Text

Love letter project ♡

Sooo to celebrate the 4th anniversary of Shining live, I put together a project! I basically got a bunch of people to write a love letter for their favourite boy. Things like, why they like them, how they got to like them and what they like about them were all accepted!

The event was supposed to have 2 fans for each boy but unfortunately I was unable to get two for some of the boys.

Under the cut will be the love letters for all of Class A!!! Please enjoy~ And thank you for all the people who participated in the event and taking the time to write the love letters out.

CLASS A

OTOYA ITTOKI

From @ponzu-penzui:

Hello world! My nickname is Yuki, and I’m here to tell you about the sunshine boy that is Otoya Ittoki. The redhead of the series, Otoya is your seemingly a-typical sunshine in a mascot boy character. But, as we all know with these types, the sunshine isn’t as, well, sunshine as they seem. Or, if you didn’t know, well… spoiler alert I guess. Go watch the anime, or play the otome games, then come back here. Anyways, let’s get started on our journey, shall we? Through the rabbithole that got me here in the first place!

Otoya immediately became my best boy the second I saw him. I’m not quite sure what immediately got me at first, whether it be his red hair and eyes, his voice, or his immediate friendliness, but here we are. I should also mention that UtaPri was my first idol anime, so I was completely unaware what was going to hit me later. And, if you’ve watched the entire anime, you know where I’m going.

Season 4 was an emotional wreck. I cried at least twice. Did I have a newfound appreciation for Otoya after all that heartache? Definitely. Without spoilers, it was incredibly painful for me to watch, but I don’t regret it.

After watching the anime, I soon found out about the existence of Shining Live. So, with no other UtaPri content to binge, I started to play SL in late 2018. After playing for a little more than a year, I tiered in my first Otoya event (Heartwarming Snow Festival), and achieved my first top 200. Ever since then, I’ve tiered in every Otoya event, getting top 200, then top 100.

But, why do I like Otoya Ittoki even to this day? Well, I guess this is the time where I say that, after a certain point, I started to see bits of myself in Otoya. This led me to start to RP him, and, as you probably know if you’ve ever roleplayed a character before, I started to look at the miniscule amount of translated game content (many thanks to the Ohayaho Translation Team) for, well, more content. And content I did receive. Long story short, this only served to solidify Otoya as my favorite boy of not only UtaPri, but from all anime/manga/game content I’ve ever seen/watched. His cheerfulness may have been the first thing that got me in this rabbithole, but his backstory and how he managed to grow up pulled me in even further. And, I don’t think I will or want to get out anytime soon.

Next one from; Anon

As much as we all know our Otoya for how sweet and kind he is, there is so much more to him than just a precious smile. He is uplifting, cheerful towards everyone he meets. He has empathy and goes out of his way to make sure his friends are happy. Even so, Otoya has feelings that aren’t always happiness and smiles. He can feel sad and angry just like anyone else.

The reason I care and love Otoya so much is because he has shown me that I don’t have to always put on a smile. It’s nice to show off your pearly whites, but sometimes, it’s okay to be sad too. There are times in everyone’s life when they feel out of place and that they don’t belong. Otoya also felt this way and that’s perfectly okay. He’s still being the best idol he can be: The idol that Otoya loves the most.

MASATO HIJIRIKAWA

From Anon:

Masato Hijirikawa. Why do I like Masato Hijirikawa? I like him to the point that it feels weird for me to even question why I do. He's just- a good boy. A great boy. I love him. As a joke, I'd usually say that it was his weirdly pretty, bowl-cut hairstyle that drew me to him, or I'd say that he caught my interest when I read that he was "very good with his hands" (wink wonk) in his Shining Live description, and while both of these reasons are still true, it wasn't until I started role playing him in an old server that I really started to appreciate his character more.

Masato, despite his aloof and almost "perfect" initial image, is a very relatable character. When he first arrived at Saotome (in-game) he wasn't necessarily seen as someone with a lot of talent to become an idol, which he acknowledged with grace and worked hard to make up for. He's humble despite his privileged upbringing and is incredibly self-aware of his flaws, which are sources of insecurity for him sometimes (a lot of times). Though it should be said that most of this insecurity stems from not having a lot of control over his early life, which is why it felt so gratifying to see him break free of his metaphorical chains to pursue his happiness without any doubts. He's a hard worker and is willing to accept criticism with open arms, not only for himself but for the people around him. Despite his traditional upbringing and nature, he's very receptive to change as long as it benefits both him and STARISH. He values the people he cares about more than anything, which is why he constantly strives to be a better version of himself every day, not only for himself but for the people around him.

Though his stoicism sometimes makes him seem plain or even "boring" to some people, he hides a warm, hidden passion within that's just as bright as everyone else's. Like the springtime bloom of cherry blossoms after winter, Masato shows his passion and love with no restraint to anyone who takes the time to understand him, and I can very much attest to this. I love him a lot and I hope to see more content of him, STARISH, and the others for more years to come.

NATSUKI SHINOMIYA

From uh....me:

HELLO I’m Z~ also known as the mod of the mikaze-discord/utapri-hcs tumblrs, as well as the organiser for the event! But enough about myself, let's talk about Natsuki Shinomiya.

When I first watched the anime as a youngin, I had already known about the games and their plots but had decided to try out the anime as well since I had nothing better to do.

Natsuki was actually one of my least favourite characters in the anime just because of how they presented him. I just...didn't care for him at all. He was just some random tall guy who loved hugs and almost murder…. Yeah.

I’m sure like most, I had a changing point. Originally, I was a Tokiya rper but...I was just unhappy with how my Tokiya was, I wasn't as experienced in rping with that server being my first rp server i was ever in. I didn't feel like I matched up with the others. I felt my Tokiya was just lacking something, substance maybe. Another person actually had a similar feeling and had changed their character from Camus to Syo and since we already had an Ai, I had just decided to go with the flow and complete the rest of the cute team. Best decision of my life. I’m so grateful for Natsuki and everything I associate him with. Without him, I probably wouldn't have made my tumblrs, I wouldn't have stayed in that server, I wouldn't have gone looking for other servers to rp in. I don't think I would be the same without Natsuki. I just find him so endearing now, he is just a lovable giant who happens to be able to be a disney princess. He is just so darn cute damn it. , just look at his Christmas card, his King card, quite literally just half his Shining live URs. Also, just like his songs just slap. Natsuki to me, is just serotonin. He gave me so many opportunities that I could have missed. I don't even think I would have started this love letter project without him if I’m being completely honest. I genuinely enjoyed all the memories I made as Natsuki. Thank you to Natsuki and to the Mikaze-discord for basically starting me off.

From Luke:

Natsuki was actually the very first character I encountered before I got into utapri. A friend showed a photo of him and told me that I'd probably be into this guy. She sure was right! After installing shining live for the first time and having a familiar face on the screen, I grew curious of him each day and just had to find out why was so attracted to him. The fact that I've seen him so many times in the past was haunting me, telling me that this man actually watched me grow up from a distance without even knowing his name. It sounds weird but I find it rather comforting for someone who doesn't want to be protected but isn't strong enough to defend myself alone.

The thought of having him there was enough to get me through the day and gave me enough reason to wake up to the next. I admit I may have adapted some of his habits after looking after his account for a year but that isn't a bad thing if it means that it would turn me into a much better person than I am now. I guess you could say we've grown together now in a sense, preserving the feelings and just living through the moment no matter how happy or sad it is. What's important is that we're not alone in all things we do and in everything we feel, there will always be someone there to keep us moving when we feel like giving up.

#utapri #utanoprincesama #uta no prince sama #Natsuki Shinomiya #Shinomiya Natsuki #Masato Hijirikawa #hijirikawa masato #otoya ittoki #ittoki otoya

15 notes · View notes

itsamejin · 4 years

Text

this love || yoongi angst

Summary: A story through the years detailing your relationship with Yoongi and all the ups and downs that came with dating an idol.

Warning: cursing, sexually suggestive content

Genre: angst, fluff, idol!yoongi, artist!yn

Pairing: Yoongi x female!reader

Premise: Based on the song ‘This Love’ by Taylor Swift. Reader is an artist.

Commission Request: @minyoongail

Word Count: 7,681 words

—

You met Yoongi when he was just a trainee, ready to take on the world and bursting with energy to get on stage. He had visions of grandeur- him living in a beautiful mansion, wearing name-brand jewelry, cruising in rare sports vehicles. When times were simpler, he’d promise that you’d be there with him, indulging in the glitz and glamour that came with his fame. He’d be an idol and you’d be his muse. Yet under all those pretenses, under all those empty promises, he was just Yoongi.

He was a guy who walked in and out of your life as easily as ocean tides come and go on the shore. He taught you how to fall in love, fall out of it, and rekindle it all the same. It was a sort of beautiful asphyxiation, being wrapped up in his lifestyle and learning to accept the consequences that came with dating a celebrity.

You wonder even now as you search his name on the internet, if you had any regrets. After all, you lost too much to be with him.

—

April 2013

A first meeting meant everything to you, especially when it came to your clients. You didn’t accept jobs from weirdos who didn’t respect your craft and you definitely hated impatient ones who badgered you to finish your pieces as quick as possible.

Big Hit was a happy medium and had hired you as a contract employee after reviewing your portfolio. Although the style of work they wanted from you was not at all what you specialized in, you were happy that they treated you like an actual employee and not some sort of machine. Plus, the pay was good.

You were asked to work on some cute animal characters for an upcoming boy group that you weren’t terribly familiar with, maybe stumbled on a vlog of theirs that you forgot about. You were intrigued by the slew of trainees that sat in front of you, their palms clenched out of anxiousness.

“I’m [Y/N], one of the digital artists that will be working with you guys from now on,” you introduce yourself politely to the seven bright-eyed boys in front of you.

You were in a room with other staff members, discussing the concept of the “Hip Hop Monsters” your graphics team was working on. This was a planned project lasting over a span of years and would eventually result in collectors edition items. It made you giddy just thinking of the royalties you’d earn from it all.

“I’d like it if the animals took after us,” one of the boys suggested shyly, slightly intimidated by the large number of corporate employees there were in the room for something that seemed so trivial. “I think our fans would like the characters more if they kind of resembled our personalities and stuff...”

You nod along to his suggestions, staring at his jersey to notice that the member who spoke up was Rap Monster. It was cute how they all wore clothes with their names on them. That’s one way to attract attention, you suppose.

“Any other suggestions you guys have for us?” you ask, jotting down notes and making rough sketches as they talk amongst themselves.

“I’d like it if,” a somewhat husky voice starts and you can’t help but stare into the guy’s eyes as he speaks, “my character was a turtle.”

You burst out into a fit of laughter along with the other staff members. He had said it with such a straight face and with so little enthusiasm, yet you could tell from his slight blush that he was serious. He was cute in the way that he wasn’t trying to be.

“You resemble one,” you grin at him, drawing out a small turtle with a cute beanie on your iPad, like the one he wore in front of you. You show it to him. “Something like this?”

“Exactly that!”

He breaks out into a gummy smile, one so bright that it hurt your heart to stare at him for too long. Now you were the one left flustered. He realizes how enthusiastic he was and got embarrassed once again, scratching the back of his head to avoid eye-contact.

“S-sorry, for shouting. It looks good.”

You bite your lip from forming too big of a grin. You still had to remain professional after all.

“You’re welcome,” you smirk slightly as he goes back to trying to look cool. You can’t help but doodle his name on your iPad even as the other members shared ideas for their own animals.

Suga, Suga, Suga.

You smile to yourself. It does have a ring to it.

—

June 2013

Yoongi sees you in the hallways sometimes and wants to say hi, but he can’t because other people are watching. Though, that isn’t the only reason.

He tells himself every day that he’ll muster up the courage to go talk to you, but every time he sees your face his legs turn to jelly. Yoongi was busy with debut stages recently, but he found some free time in his schedule to approach you.

Yoongi was never the shy type, more reserved if anything else, but you had something that enamored him- intrigued him. He wanted to know who you were other than the cute girl he was stuck in meetings with from time to time.

As you sat there on your desk, Yoongi lingered in an area nearby. He would give you his number today and if things didn’t work out then that would be that. There was no need to be all shy about this; it’s not like this is his first time asking someone out.

He strides over to you with feigned confidence and you look up after a minute, not noticing how his shadow loomed over you. He sees that you’re working on realistic portraits of the members and not the cutesy characters he usually sees you drawing.

“Hi,” he says curtly, trying to seem disinterested though he was the one that approached you first.

“Hello,” you smile up at him.

Suga.

“You draw really cool stuff,” he says to break the awkward tension. “You should show it to the CEO. I’m sure we’d have cooler concepts for our albums with your work.”

You look up at him, a happy glint in your eyes. He was complimenting you, although avoiding eye contact to seem a little less nervous than he really was.

“Well, I’m just a contract worker so I don’t think I really have the authority to start up new projects out of nowhere,” you say with a smile on your face at how flustered he looks. “I feel like you’re here to ask me for something. Am I right?”

He looks away for a split second, coughing to alleviate his nerves. He was a grown man for fuck’s sake, why was this so difficult?

“I was actually wondering if you could come give me some opinions about some art that I drew,” he lies through his teeth, just trying to find a way to get you in a more private area than the corporate floor teaming with watchful gazes. “I’ve been trying to start a new hobby.”

You chuckle slightly, seeing right through his words. You stand up to amuse him.

“I’d be happy to.”

He leads you to a studio filled with whacky knick-knacks and dim lighting, not necessarily the best place to draw. You know by now that he just said those things as an excuse to be alone with you.

“So where’s this masterpiece?” you tease slightly at his nervous expression. How did a guy who looked so deadpan have such a giddy personality?

“Well actually,” he starts off, palms already sweaty. “I-It’s not here right now, but I think I left it at the dorms. Maybe if we exchange phone numbers I can text it to you.”

He tried to appear nonchalant, but his hands moved as if he was doing a public speaking presentation. Yoongi thought he was doing great, though growing a little more nervous at how you were giggling.

“You know, Suga,” you start teasingly, “My number is in the company directory. Feel free to text me anytime.”

Yoongi slightly cringes hearing his stage name. He loves it, don’t get him wrong, but he didn't like hearing it come from you. He didn’t like the unfamiliar aspect that came with using his stage name- like you two only went by professional terms.

“Call me Yoongi,” he says with genuine confidence this time. “I like it better when my friends call me Yoongi.”

You nod, relieved that you could finally know this cute guy’s name. Truth be told, you were snooping around his conversations with other people to figure it out.

“So we’re friends?”

Yoongi nods, sitting down in his rolling chair.

“I’d like to be,” he grins, patting the sofa, hoping you’d take a seat with him.

And you do.

—

Present

It’s hard to work efficiently when you’re no longer in a corporate space. There’s no boss to check up on your progress nor is there a nosy coworker trying to see what you’re doing from the corner of their eye. You missed the hustle and bustle of an office floor, but it was nice exploring your creativity through freelance work.

You tap your digital pen onto the table repeatedly, looking at the reference image over and over again. It was a sick joke played by the universe to have been commissioned to draw your ex-boyfriend’s idol group, but you couldn’t refuse the hundreds of dollars the ecstatic fangirl was willing to give you. Truth be told, she might have offered too much pay, but you took up her offer anyway. Money is money.

Yet a face you’ve touched so often, a person you’d been with for years felt so unfamiliar to you. It wasn’t like you were drawing him realistically either. The client wanted anime-style figures that resembled them, looked enough like the boys to display it as her Twitter header. In the end, it’s still too difficult to draw. The rest of the members were lined up and sketched perfectly, but there was a blank area where Yoongi’s face should’ve been.

Your wrists hurt from the constant drawing and erasing so you set it down to massage your hand from cramping. In moments like these, you hated your job.

Ting.

A message notification popped up on your phone that laid beside your iPad. You usually left it silent when you were working, but you opened yourself up to distractions when drawing this particular piece. Whoever thought it was a good idea to specialize in celebrity artwork? You pick up your phone and smiled softly at the text.

hey, can I come over?

—

March 2014

“Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Yoongi, happy birthday to you~~”

You cheer on with the rest of the boys in their cramped dorm. Somehow you had gotten close enough with them to be at this level of comfort, sitting crisscrossed and shoulders touching with Jungkook and Seokjin. Yoongi blows out the candles and claps his hands, a little sad that another year passed by so quickly. He kept glancing at you who was focused on cutting the cake like the perfectionist you were.

He couldn’t help but feel like time was running out, like if he didn’t confess to you now then it would never happen. Yoongi took off the beanie he wore and ruffled his hair. He was feeling anxious all of a sudden.

“Dude don’t do that your dandruff is gonna get everywhere,” Hoseok whines. “The cake is gonna be decorated with your dead skin cells.”

“Go wash your hands,” Jin commands and Yoongi could only roll his eyes.

“Relax, I don’t even think we’re gonna have cake anytime soon when this slow-poke is taking forever to cut.”

He flicks your forehead as you glare up at him.

“I could so easily throw this in your face, but I choose not to,” you stick your tongue out at him and he scoffs.

“I’d like to see you try.”

All the members groan out of annoyance.

“Oh my god they’re having a lovers quarrel again,” Jimin yawned. “Aren’t you guys sick of arguing?”

Yoongi freezes at his words. Lover’s quarrel. That was a nice way to put it.

“They’ll stop arguing when Yoongi finally-”

Taehyung was cut off as Yoongi swipes three fingers worth of frosting from the cake and lathers it all over Taehyung’s face.

“You talk too much,” Yoongi shakes his head and soon chaos descended. Cake flew in places it shouldn’t have and ended when Namjoon knocked over a glass of water, managing to break it on the floor tiles. In the end, no one got cake.

Yoongi and you were laughing amongst yourselves at the kitchen sink, washing off some of the bits that got onto your shirts.

“I’m so sorry about your cake,” you say through your chuckles. “I’ll make it up to you some time.”

Yoongi only smiles.

“Yeah, you can treat me on a date,” he replies a little too boldly. You look at him in shock, not quite processing his words.

“A date?”

He nods.

“We should go out sometime.”

You purse your lips to prevent the huge grin about to be displayed on your face.

“We should.”

—

Present

It was subtle, the way it all started. You trace over the features you drew so far, only getting to his eyes. Yoongi and you were innocent lovers for a while, keeping your trysts a secret from everyone in the company except his managers and the members. A few of your friends knew, but none of them knew BTS well enough to be all that surprised. It wasn’t all that rare to go out with a celebrity in your line of work.

You almost miss those days when he was unrecognizable. After your friends realized who he was after he hit it big globally, you felt like a secret of yours was displayed to them. Your love was supposed to be private, but his fame left very little room for privacy. You missed when you were the only one that knew of him and maybe it’s selfish to think that way, but you were past the point of being selfish.

You text back.

yeah, can't wait to see you

—

Jan. 2015

Yoongi lays you down on the couch gently. His hands caressing your sides underneath the thin material of your shirt as he pulls you in closer to his kisses. This felt different from other nights, different in that there was nothing around to stop what would come next.

He pulls away from you slightly, panting from the lack of oxygen.

“Are you sure?” he asks, drawing circles on your hip with his thumb. He was only supposed to come over to help you unpack some stuff for your new apartment and here you were, pinned on the couch and sweating from the close contact.

You nod back in response, not finding the right words to get him to continue. He pulls your shirt over your head, peppering kisses on your neck and atop your breasts. He fixates on your neck languidly, biting as he sees fits.

There was a pause as you felt him press up against you and you knew then that there was no making it to the bed. You would have your first time with him on this newly moved-in couch.

The clothes dropped to the ground as his touches get more impatient, more desperate. It all passes by like a blur and you could only remember the pleasure that came with his long fingers, the satisfaction you felt when he was inside you. The climax of it all made you realize that you loved him, truly and without regret. He holds you in his arms when you come undone, flashing a satiated smile as you look up at him. It’s like the stars were in his eyes.

“How do you feel?” you ask him, worried he was already drowsy. You didn’t want to have to sleep on the couch naked.

“Satisfied,” he says with a smile on his face.

You can’t help but swoon, his eyes fixated on you. At least for now, he was yours He wasn’t Suga, a rapper. He was Yoongi, your boyfriend.

It didn't matter to you that he was struggling to make a name for himself in this cut-throat idol industry or that he would spend countless nights cursing as one of his numerous tracks get rejected. None of that was in your mind. Only he swam through your thoughts. Only him.

“I love you,” he sighs out. He was the first to say it.

“I love you too,” you reply back and he holds you tight against him.

He’s nuzzling himself in your hair, his chest pressed up against you so his heartbeat can synch with yours. He loves this, can’t get enough of it. He catches your lips and once again you are whisked in the pleasure of it all. This is it. This is what love is.

—

Present

The piece is finally finished and you send it off to your client, hoping she doesn’t ask for revisions because you can’t handle another second of drawing his stupid face. His soft skin, his tiny moles, his gummy smile...

It's not like you hate him. It’s just... a certain contempt lingers after a breakup from a long-term relationship. It’s the type of resentment that can’t really be explained. You don’t want to see him, but you catch yourself watching his videos on Youtube. You don’t want to think about him, but you hope he thinks about you. You don’t see yourself ever getting back together with him, but you don’t have his phone number blocked.

It’s a sort of paradox you catch yourself in and you wonder if you could ever get out of it. Will Yoongi ever escape your mind?

can't wait to see u too babe

—

Aug. 2016

Yoongi hugs you from behind, his face scrunched at the nape of your neck where several marks were made from last night’s events. Your eyes stayed focus on the TV in front of you, still impressed by your own ability to afford one in your bedroom at your salary.

“BTS' SUGA drops new music video for his song and mixtape Agust D...”

The news anchor drones on and you could barely hear her through the sounds of Yoongi’s soft snores. His hold on you grew tighter as he hears his stage name from an unfamiliar voice and it makes you giggle slightly at how different the edgy music video being displayed was from the same person wrapping you in his arms so tightly.

“Babe, wake up. I have work to do,” you whisper into his hair and he only shakes his head back in response.

“No,” he mutters, pulling you into him closer. You roll your eyes, managing to pry off one of his hands as you sit up on the bed.

“Don’t you have studio stuff to do today?” you ask him, searching for a shirt to wear.

He shakes his head as his eyes start to flutter open. You both reeked of alcohol since you opened a bottle of wine last night to celebrate the release of his first solo work. He was proud of it and you were proud of him.

“Can you turn that off, I’m getting a migraine,” he whines, covering his head with a pillow. You opted to wear Yoongi’s shirt instead of your own since you couldn’t be bothered to walk to the other side of the bed to find it. You smiled at his laying figure, cooped in a fetal-like position. He was still naked, but you were with him long enough to no longer be phased by that sort of thing.

“From one bottle of wine?” you tease slightly. “I think you’re losing your touch, Agust D.”

You chuckle as he throws the pillow on top of his head towards you.

“Don’t call me that,” he pouts, “It feels like you’re making fun of me.”

You stand up from where you were, stretching out your back as you make your way to the door.

“That’s because I am,” you smirk, “You know you’re saved on my phone as Sugar?”

He gives you a glare.

“It’s Suga,” he says, attempting to add some intimidation to his voice. It doesn’t work because all you do is stick your tongue out at him.

“Whatever sugar.”

He chuckles lightly and watches the silhouette of your figure exit his view. Yoongi can’t help but mindlessly follow after you.

As you exit towards the kitchen, you can’t help but hear the television from the bedroom.

“Suga has recently been caught up in a dating scandal with Suran, the solo artist, who sang with him in a song...”

Your head snaps up from those words, your skin crawling with goosebumps. You make it into the kitchen but with a heavy heart and no appetite.

“What’s wrong?” he asks, passing by you to pour himself some water.

“Nothing,” you say, though you sounded bitter. He caught on quite quickly. You were jealous again.

Yoongi heaves out a deep sigh and sets the glass of water down. He comes over to your angry figure and gives you a soft hug, laying his head on top of yours as if to comfort you. You try to pull away but he keeps you close.

“I’ll tell them to drop the rumors, okay?,” he says, genuinely enough to make you believe him. “I don’t want us to fight so early in the morning.”

“You promise?”

He pulls away.

“I promise,” he says, brushing a hair away from your face. “Let’s not think about those rumors right now. You and me both know they’re not true.”

You were never one to forget so easily.

—

It was around 2016 when you had stopped working at Big Hit. They halted the Hip Hop Monster brand and your contract was expiring with them anyway. You went from living a kush office life to struggling freelance worker in a matter of a second. It also meant that Yoongi and you would be spending less time together. His busy schedules couldn’t permit him to stay with you longer than a few hours and his presence slowly started to disappear from his side of the bed.

It was like a sinking ship, what you had with him. The pain starts off slow, unnoticeable. You’ll still laugh and keep up appearances as time passes, but you could tell there was an ominous atmosphere that wasn’t initially there in the relationship. Your screams start to grow silent as more problems start to stack on top of each other. It’s then when you hit the iceberg. It’s then when it all starts to fall apart.

He was still good for you, you convinced yourself, even as the currents swept you out under your feet.

—

Dec. 2016

“What the fuck do you mean you’re not coming?” you yell through your phone. You were sitting on the floor of your living room, holiday decorations strewn around the apartment. He promised he’d come spend a day off of his winter promotions to be with you.

“You know how hectic the end of the year gets with promotions,” he says in quiet hushes. “I can’t do anything about it. This is my job.”

You suck in your cheeks to prevent yourself from yelling. From the sound of it, he was in public.

“Yoongi, I called out of talking to a really high-paying client,” you say through gritted teeth. “And I still came home. Why am I the only one making sacrifices?”

He sighed at the other end. He didn’t have the patience to deal with you today.

“Look, can you stop being so fucking needy. I don’t need this right now.”

He couldn’t tell from the phone call, but your heart broke at the word. Needy. He thought that you were needy.

“I’m already stressed out as it is,” he continues through the phone. “I don’t need you up my ass all the time.”

“I’m not gonna wait for you,” you reply, tears threatening to spill over. “I’m going to sleep and you’re gonna get rid of all the shit you have in my apartment. I’m sick of you, Yoongi.”

He scoffs.

“I’m sick of you too.”

Yoongi hangs up, about ready to hit the wall when Jimin comes to calm him down. Small things that were never meant to be taken seriously built up until it was ready to crash down.

When Yoongi comes at night to visit you, he sees that you’re asleep on the couch. He sits next to you, pulling you into his arms.

“I’m sorry baby,” he whispers quietly. “I’ll do better.”

You nuzzled closer to him, comforted by words you forget the next day. Even when you woke up with a bad neck and Yoongi snoring onto your skin, you couldn’t find a way to stay mad at him. You knew, deep down, that some way or the other you’re gonna find yourself arguing about the same thing next week.

—

Present

Junghoon comes to pick you up. Junghoon, your boyfriend.

He’s a little uptight and too stern for his own good, but has a good heart and a knack of giving great gifts. You met him from working in the same industry, a 3D graphics designer for several video game companies. He was a new addition to your life, your relationship only about three months old.

You were warming up to him slowly, thankful for finally having a consistent presence in your life. He always made time for you, never used work as an excuse, and didn’t act cold just for the sake of acting cold. Junghoon was sweet in the way that Yoongi used to be when he wasn’t such a massive celebrity.

It was a relief to have someone like Junghoon in your life that didn’t walk in and out of your door without much of a thought to even say goodbye. Your life with him has been a tad bit dull, but you don’t mind all that much. Junghoon’s made you feel secure in ways that Yoongi couldn’t.

—

May 2017

“Your boyfriend is winning a whole ass award across the world and you’re having ramen with me?” Chaerin sighs. It’s typical for a best friend to judge the actions of the other.

“Yeah and?” you reply snarkily, swirling your chopstick around to find the perfect clump of noodles. “I’m not the top social artist according to Billboard, what’s it have to do with me?”

She rolls her eyes at you.

“I don’t know, you could at least watch him win the award?” she suggests. “The live stream is literally happening right now. Your boyfriend is making history and you don’t even care!”

You look at the clock on the restaurant wall. It was nearing 2 o’clock and your client meeting would be starting soon. You were in high demand as a graphic artist recently and as far as you were concerned, that was the only thing on your mind at the moment. You stare back into your bowl, suddenly losing your appetite.

“The apartment is lonely without him,” you admit sadly.

He bought one for himself and had you move in. ‘It’s easier to not get noticed by the tabloids,’ he convinced you. The modern sleekness of his penthouse was a nice change to your lifestyle, but you missed the comfiness of your small studio apartment. It was often too cold when he wasn’t around.

“You could watch it with me?” Chaerin suggested. “Yoongi’s probably so sad that his own girlfriend doesn’t even want to watch him win such a major award.”

You bite down on your chopstick harshly.

“Well he didn't even want me to come with him so I don’t wanna hear anymore about him from you.”

Chaerin squinted her eyes in your direction.

“Well I mean I get where he’s coming from. He’s still an idol, [Y/N],” she scolds. “It would be a massive risk to take you with him.”

You shook your head disapprovingly, pushing the bowl away from you.

“I’m not an idiot, Chae. It’s not like I was asking to be on the red carpet with him, I just wanted to be there waiting in the hotel room after the show. Two nights ago he suddenly backs out and says I shouldn’t come.”

Chaerin’s jaw dropped out of shock. That wasn’t what she was expecting at all.

“Did he say why?”

You stare down at your nails, your heart growing heavy as a long pause of silence takes place. It would be better to be honest, right? You shouldn’t have to pretend like everything’s okay when it clearly isn’t.

“He said he wants space,” you say, careful not to get choked up. “So I’m giving it to him.”

You clutch your thigh instinctively, remembering how Yoongi had brought that up with you just nights before. You two weren’t happy and that he needed to figure himself out before the relationship gets any worse. It’s just a break or whatever bullshit he spouted.

She scoffs.

“What is wrong with you two?” she asks, genuinely concerned. “You are not the type of person to take a break in a relationship.”

You stare bitterly into the reflection of your soup.

“I just don’t think I’ve been happy for a while,” you reply, taking a sip of your water that was left untouched for a better half of the night. “I don’t think he is either.”

—

Sept. 2017

The break lasted for months and you wondered if it was really even a break at all. It felt more like a break up if you were honest. He’d text once in a while and video call you when he was free but other than that it felt like he became a stranger, just another celebrity billboard you walked past on your way to a client’s workplace.

You’d draw sketches of him countlessly, in fear you’d forget how his face looked in real life and not through a low-quality screen. You etched every baby hair, every small blemish he’d hide with makeup. It was your method of not forgetting who the real Yoongi was because honestly, you didn’t know anymore. You didn’t know him.

Trrrringggg.

The sound of your doorbell could be heard all throughout your apartment. You stood up from where you sat on the bed, leaving the sketchbook of his face on the comforter. You weren’t expecting any visitors, but surely enough, Yoongi stood in front of you with a lopsided grin on his face.

“Hey.”

You let him in, not uttering a single word. He looks different now. His hair was black, thank god, but his face was a little softer than you were used to. You remember him being so paranoid about turning bald just a few years ago and here he was, no bald spots to be found. He looked healthy.

“It’s been a while,” you respond, hugging your arms close to your chest, uncomfortable that he was in your presence. It was his apartment technically, but you lived in it more than he did. He opted to stay in the dorm ever since he issued that idiotic break.

“I miss you,” he says in a lowly voice and you almost believe him. Almost.

You scoff.

“It seems like you’ve been having fun without me though,” you say through gritted teeth. “I thought you still wanted space?”

He shakes his head and brings his hand to touch your arm.

“No,” he swallows his saliva. “I miss you.”

You could feel his sincerity, but you can’t help but not trust him. He’s been viciously cold to you, but you find yourself pulling him closer anyway.

“Don’t ever do that again,” you threaten. “It’ll really be over then, Yoongi.”

He sighs into your hair. He loves you. He does. But he doesn’t know why it’s so hard to express it.

“I promise [Y/N]. I won’t leave.”

—

Aug. 2018

He buys you flowers, your favorite kind. It’s a small gesture, but it has you jumping into his arms all the same. It shows that he still cares somewhat. It’s been a while since he’s last shown it.

He holds you closely, appreciating the softness of your body and how you curl perfectly into him.

“I want to stay like this,” you say mindlessly, just relishing in his presence.

You’re not mad at him today and he’s not frustrated with you. It’s a high point in your relationship.

“Me too.”

His words are simple but it warms your heart nonetheless. Yoongi looks at you with twinkling eyes and for a moment you think that this could last forever and that it will last forever. You kiss him slowly and he reciprocates.

It reminds you of your first time, slow and careful- like you were the last person he’d ever want to hurt.

His love, although painful at times, was good to you when you needed it to be.

—

July 2019

Yoongi’s gone again. He’s on tour, as usual, and not giving you any updates. You were getting sick of it. The constant waiting, the constant insecurities that ate you up inside. You weren’t built to endure this kind of torture.

Suga. Suga. Suga.

It rolls off the tongue but it feels disgusting coming out of your mouth. His stage name, a persona. He starts to resemble that name more and more as the days go by. You hear it so much now that it no longer registers as an actual word.

You call him.

He doesn’t pick up.

Again.

No answer.

You’re about ready to throw the phone at the wall until a soft ring was heard from the small device. You take the call immediately, smiling as if you passed the hardest difficulty of a video game. The grin would soon be wiped away, though.

“Why’d you call?” he grumbles from the other line, loud music blasting in the background.

“Why weren’t you picking up?” You sound bitter. You don’t care.

“I’m out right now,” he says, exasperation laced in his voice. “I’m not in the mood to talk.”

Clearly, he just wasn’t in the mood to talk to you. Yoongi was at a party or a club or wherever he could possibly be in the streets of Shizuoka at 10 p.m.

You just wanted to chat, check on him as a good girlfriend would. He’s been complaining that you haven’t been in a while. You thought this was what he wanted- for you to care.

“I just wanted to see if you were doing okay,” you sigh. “How’d the concert go?”

“Good,” he says, clearly distracted. “Some of us snuck out of the hotel rooms to let loose for a bit.”

You nod as if he could see you.

“So you’re partying?”

You could hear him laugh at the other end, but it wasn’t from your comment. Someone else was making him laugh. Someone with a light and dainty voice, whiny as she got closer to Yoongi.

“Yeah, I guess you could call it that,” he says, clearly distracted. “Listen I’ll call you back, okay?”

You feel a lump stuck in your throat. There are no words left to say. The foreign girl on the other end giggled harder at whatever Yoongi was saying and it felt like you were invading their privacy- as if she was his girlfriend and you were nothing. You hung up, your mouth feeling dry as the tears poured down.

You see a text from Yoongi just a few seconds into your wallowing. You sniffle as you read it.

don’t misunderstand. nothing’s happening rn i'm just having a bit of fun.

This time you really threw your phone at the wall.

You go to your iPad that’s sitting untouched on your desk. You open your drawing app and just let the anger in the stylus take you from there. You draw a rough sketch of a couple on the edge of a beachside cliff. The woman seems to be falling into the water as if she was pushed. The guy’s hand reaches out to her, but you can’t really tell if he was trying to grab her or if he was the one that let her go in the first place.

As the tears spilled onto the cool surface of the iPad, you sob harder. Nothing could be fixed and everything still felt broken. It was meaningless, sleeping in his bed and wearing his clothes when he was all the way in Japan snuggling up to girls that were probably much prettier and much more willing to understand his lifestyle.

You look around the penthouse he had bought for the two of you, beautiful wide panel windows and modern furniture. It mostly looks empty, everything nice and tidy as if no one lived here. It had such a stark contrast to that of his old life when he shared rooms with other members and had no place to really put his keyboard except the studio. You smiled at the memory of you all hovering around the small coffee table in the cramped living room eating ramen.

Maybe it was your fault for falling behind, for letting the world around you build up and not follow in Yoongi’s tracks.

—

Present

You guess it was then when the relationship had passed a point of no return. When everything that felt right had started to feel incredibly wrong. You tolerated his presence rather than bask in it. You heard him speak but couldn’t bother to listen. Maybe you were petty, but more than anything you were angry.

You were angry that he could break you that badly and you would still forgive him for it.

You stare over at Junghoon who’s cooking you up something on the stove. This is what you needed.

—

Nov. 2019

Yoongi was back from some big-name award show that you didn’t watch. You heard he won Artist of the Year or whatever, the accolades that he’s collected no longer having meaning as the days pass. Why be happy for him when he himself showed no signs of excitement? This was routine. He expected the awards at this point.

You walked towards him. Yoongi looked angry, though you have no idea why.

“Hey, I made dinner to celebrate,” you tell him. Yoongi’s sitting on the couch, scrolling through the congratulatory messages he received from other industry stars. He looked like he needed to get something off his chest.

“I’m not hungry,” he mutters. “Just leave it.”

“Are you sure?”

He scoffs. It was a simple question.

“Not in the mood.”

You give him a pointed look and sit next to him.

“Why are you never in the mood for anything?” you ask him. “It’s just food Yoongi. I just want to eat with you.”

You don’t see it properly but he rolls his eyes.

“Just drop it okay? Today’s a good day, I don’t need you to ruin it.”

You suck in your cheeks.

“Ruin?”

Yoongi sighs heavily.

“You know that’s not what I meant,” he starts, facing you. “Why do you have to be so dramatic over everything.”

You grit your teeth.

“Dramatic?” your voice quivers. “I didn’t know feeling hurt was being dramatic.”

His gaze softens and he touches your arm lightly.

“Sorry, I didn't mean it like that.”

You shake your head, feeling your eyes dampen at his words.

“I hate your apologies, Yoongi,” you say in a hushed tone. “They don’t mean anything anymore.”

He’s shocked, not really sure how to respond. You were never one to confront him, especially when he was angry. Instead, he holds your hand softly. He was terrible at comforting people.

“Yoongi are you really sorry?” you ask abruptly. It was a question you’ve been meaning to ask for years now.

His grip on you tightened and you can’t quite read his expression, but you can tell that it’s not a positive response. He looks conflicted and he shouldn’t have to be if he really was. You force him to let go of you.

“I am,” he says, knowing he answered a little too late for his words to not seem suspicious.

“I don’t think you are,” you reply sadly. “You say sorry more than you-”

say I love you.

He doesn’t let you finish the sentence because he knows. He knows what you’re trying to say.

“I am,” he says with more sincerity, but he looks at you with an unreadable expression. “I just don’t think it’s enough at this point.”

“What’s not enough?”

You were confused. Is he still talking about whether he's apologetic or not? Or is it something entirely different?

“I do love you,” he says with a certain conviction in his voice, “and I always will, but it feels like nothing’s working out.”

Yoongi doesn’t look at you and focuses on the leather of the fancy couch. He doesn’t say anything but you know what this means. He’s about to stand up, but you grab onto his wrist.

“This is your apartment,” you say before he could say anything to break your heart even further. “I’ll leave.”

“[Y/N], no,” he says. “You don’t have anywhere else to go. I’m just gonna stay over at the dorm. I just...”

Your eyes get blurry from the tears. Even now it felt like he was looking down at you. Nowhere to go. It was like he pitied you.

“...need to go clear my mind,” he finishes the sentence, standing up to grab his coat.

You shake your head and stand in front of him. He’s usually like this. A coward. A bumbling fool who would rather avoid problems than face them head on.

“I need you to stay, Yoongi,” you cry out. “I need you to actually stay for once and comfort me.”

He looks at you, mouth open but no words come out. He smiles sadly and walks toward you, kissing your cheek.

“I don’t think I can do that anymore, [Y/N],” he says and you watch him leave as easily as he walked in.

It’s not like he ever comforted you in the first place.

—

The break up happened silently over a late-night phone call a few days after he disappeared on you. You packed up your things, stayed over at Chaerin’s house, and braced yourself for what was to come. It should’ve happened sooner, you admit, but your heart still sinks when he speaks.

“I just don’t think either of us is willing to try anymore,” he says solemnly. “We’ve been on and off for the past few years and I don’t think it’s healthy for either of us to continue.”

You agree, just wanting the call to end quickly so you wouldn’t have to hear his voice any longer. It hurt to have to listen to him rationalize breaking your heart.

“I don’t think we should be together anymore, [Y/N],” he says, not even a tiny bit choked up. “I think we’ve... outgrown each other.”

You knew what Yoongi really meant. He’s outgrown you.

“I think so too,” you say rigidly. Short and simple. You left nothing to be desired. “Let’s break up.”

Yoongi looks at his phone, slightly disappointed. He wished you would fight back, maybe rekindle something in him that he’s lost over the years. Yet you were silent on the line and he just had to accept it- that there was nothing left to be saved.

“Take care, okay?” he says softly because in the end he still cares- he just doesn’t want to anymore.

“I will,” you reply, ultimately hanging up the phone. You collapse onto a bed unfamiliar to you. Yoongi would no longer sleep beside you, no longer reach over to hug your side and whisper sweet nothings in your ear. He was gone and you had to accept that maybe he was never yours in the first place.

His last words replay in your mind.

Take care.

That was the most concern he’s ever shown you in the past few weeks. You almost scoff at the absurdity of it all. You don’t notice how truly broken you were until the tears start streaming down your face. You see the image of him through blurry eyes and you wonder how you could let Yoongi leave such a permanent scar on your heart.

—

Present

“Do you like your eggs runny or no?”

Junghoon asks as you approach his figure. You hug him from behind and smile at his warmth. Safe.

“Just a little runny,” you reply.

He smiles and nods, turning off the heat and grabbing some seasoning from your cupboard. You detach yourself from him when you realized what he was grabbing.

“Babe that’s not salt. That’s-”

Sugar.

You stop yourself from saying it and Junghoon looks at you with concern. He chuckles at your stoic state and ruffles your hair.

“Cat got your tongue or what?” he asks, grabbing the right container this time. “Maybe I should’ve asked if you like your eggs sweet instead, huh?”

“I’ve never tried that combination before,” you say teasingly. “Why don’t you test it out for us.”

He clicks his tongue at you and splashes some salt on your face.

“I’ll pour sugar all over you if that’s what you really want.”

You laugh half-heartedly. A simple word shouldn’t affect you this much but you find yourself get more teary-eyed as it repeats in your head. It wasn’t fair to Junghoon that you were thinking of your ex in his presence. It wasn’t fair to you either.

You feel a vibration from your pocket and you pull it out to serve as a distraction from your wallowing thoughts. It’s a text.

From Sugar.

—

A/N: This was so hard to write because my mind has just been empty these days but I’m so glad it’s done now >_< Thank you to @minyoongail for requesting this story. I’ve been bumping to the Taylor Swift song now because of this commissions T^T I recommend you all to listen to it. I tried to write this in a different style from my other works so I hope this is still readable for you all LOL

I’m closing commissions temporarily to focus on the ones I have now and to also start writing my own stuff. Let me know how you feel about this, I appreciate all types of comments and criticisms <3 Look forward to Part 2!

510 notes · View notes

acciocriativity · 3 years

Text

The day I lost you ||NCT

Pairing: Kim Jungwoo x Reader

Summary: You and Jungwoo have been together for a long time, before he was a trainee you were already friends so everything that happened between you was always natural, and so was the end.

Word Count: 929

Warnings: It's really angst

A/N: Here it's your request dear anon. I hope y’all enjoy it and also consider this as my formal application to be part of the fandom.

At times I thought that we were going through a difficult phase, as every couple goes through, and that we could solve it as always, by talking and expressing what we felt. This was always the agreement, we didn't have to shout or raise our voices for the other to hear and try to understand our point of view.

But at other times I was sure that there was much more going on, more than I knew and could control. The conversations went nowhere, I didn't have anything to say, but I always wanted to know if he did. If he had decided to tell me what was wrong, what had changed, but he always answered the same thing.

"If there was something wrong, I would have told you by now, I just have too much on my mind right now", the same words I was hoping for rang directly in my ears, at least I could close my eyes and pretend he was beside me now.

This was just one of several times that I heard this and I wanted to believe it more than anything, but I couldn't because all the signs were clear.

The man who was always sweet and caring to everyone around him, who always came to visit me for even 5 minutes just to hug me a few moments, who was always cheerful and carried a truckload of joy wherever he went, with everyone else he was still the same but not with me.

Not that he simply stopped caring about me, that was small consolation to me but I could see that the love we shared, I was giving alone.

"You know, we seem more like friends than boyfriend and girlfriend lately", that phrase had been running around in my head for days and I don't know if I wanted him to agree or disagree straight up. "We're friends first and foremost, I don't get why that's bad," he remarked nonchalantly and a relief settled, for a few minutes, in my heart.

Most of the time we weren't doing couples stuff because with so little time, NCT's fame increased by the day and plus the company didn't know about it, we couldn't go out but it didn't bother me, it never did. I preferred to enjoy my alone time with him, but even that changed within so little time.

I was used to the calls, for weeks it was all we had especially in the promotion months. We always found a measly 5 minutes to talk about the basics at the start of the day and text after training.

But this routine started to establish itself in the moments when we could be together, in the beginning there was some effort on my part for us to meet, but as time went by, I accepted his decision and his space.

I thought it was really hard for him, since the idol routine was no easier than that of a trainee, especially from dedicated people that the boys always were. All I could do was try to cheer him up even from a distance.

"He seems fine Y/N-ssi but if I notice anything wrong, I'll let you know", Jaehyun's message left me confused and a little disappointed as well.

I started to rethink our last few messages, which were few only because he didn't seem as excited as he normally was and I didn't want to be the inconvenient girlfriend, but if he was perfectly fine, then the problem could only be one.

The same day I asked him to talk to me in person, since he was at the dorm with no agenda scheduled for the day. Even 10 minutes after sending the message, I was still standing in the room with no clue of what to say, the words were choked in my throat and I knew that if it was up to him, nothing would really be solved.

"How do I make you love me again?", his face in stunned shock, lips open ready to say something but nothing came out of it, we continued communicating that way, just looking at each other.

I don't remember how long we stayed like this, many things about this day I chose to delete from my memory, it was better to forget than to face and I don't regret it.

But one thing I could never forget was the scene of him walking out of my door and out of my life for good, because he would rather be just a friend and I could not accept that possibility.

After a few months, I was better but not completely well and maybe I never would be, because I not only lost a boyfriend but also a great friend and I had no way to get either one back and sometimes I ask myself, how is he doing these days? Probably busy, it's strange how life is, one day this person was so important to me but now I don't even know where he is now.

#nct masterlist #nct reactions #nct angst #nct drabbles #nct imagines #nct jungwoo #nct #nct fanfiction #nct jungwoo fluff #nct jungwoo angst #kim jungwoo x reader #kim jungwoo #nct 127 #nct 127 reactions #nct 127 requests

27 notes · View notes

blackkwidowed · 4 years

Text

a reminder

Requested:

Hi! I absolutely love your Nat x Reader stories, OOOF. Can I request where the reader is an Idol (singer and hardcore dancer) and the reader is at dance practice at the avengers compound. Then when the Reader goes to their shared room, they get into an argument because of not spending time with each other and then it leads to reallyyyy hot sex where Nat is extreme sub. Reader is also an Avenger with abs and muscle. (girl on girl) THANKS DOLL!

Summary: Natasha perhaps appreciates bad ideas too much.

Rating: E. Filthy smut. Sub!Nat (my fave *swoon*). Uhhh spanking, The Strap, light dirty talk, light choking. Nat’s a size queen. Slight daddy kink but not realllyyy. Up to interpretation. Sorry.

Word Count: 2,401

I’m so sorry this is filth. It’s thirsting hours (send me smut requests) and i am h word

To say you enjoyed the attention was perhaps a little narcissistic, but when you’d been working on your dreams for so long, success was something you were grateful for, more than anything. You were humble about it, and you were quite widely known for that quality.

The last year or so had been your best professionally, with the release of an album and too many performances to count. It had been thrilling, every minute of it.

But now, you were tired.

Tired, because keeping all of that up full time as well as working on super secret stuff in Stark Tower, was exhausting.

You kept it all balanced at first, but you’d been away a lot recently and you’re starting to think Natasha is growing less fond of being apart from you. Admittedly, you hated it too, but you also knew how happy Natasha has and always will be for you.

You’re thinking about it while you finish up your practice for the week, a promise to Natasha that since you hadn’t seen each other much the last few weeks, you’d spend some time together. You miss her every day. Sometimes she gets the chance to come with you, but with how demanding her role is too, it makes everything a little more difficult.

You gather your things and call it a day, riding the elevator straight to your shared room with Natasha. You hope she’s waiting for you already, you hope she’s missed you as much as you had missed her.

“Nat?” You call, kicking the door shut behind you.

She emerges from the bathroom, freshly showered and dressed. “Hi, baby. You done?”

“Hey, you,” you grin with a nod. “All done.”

“Good.” You don't miss the way her eyes linger on your biceps, slightly sleek with sweat from practice. A blush stains her cheeks and she moves to kiss you, fingers playing at the hem of your tank top. “I missed you.”

“I missed you, Natasha.” You pull her into a hug and God, that feeling of home and comfort is indescribable, unable to compare to anything else. “I have a meeting tomorrow afternoon but it should be over quickly, then I’m all yours.”

You feel her sigh and your heart drops to your stomach. The noise alone screams this is about to get ugly.

“We never spend time together.” She states, pulling away from the hug and looking at you, her expression sad more than anything else.

You frown sympathetically at her with a nod. “I know. Things have been crazy lately. I’m sorry, Nat.”

She runs a hand through her hair, shutting her eyes and sighing again. “I know, I just thought you’d finally spend a weekend with me instead of being all over the place with work.”

You raise an eyebrow. “You know that’s selfish.”

“Is it?”

“Yes! My work is important, too. I can’t help it.” You shrug. “You work too, a lot, might I add. Don’t be a fucking hypocrite, Natalia.”

She shoots you a look, but you don’t back down. How could you when she was being a little bit unreasonable.

“I just. I miss you. Feels like we don’t have enough time anymore. I mean, when was the last time we had sex?”

You roll your eyes. “Is that what this is about? That you haven’t been fucked in a few weeks?”

Natasha huffs and shakes her head. “No, I was just trying to make a point.”

“Really? Because I can certainly change that.”

She eyes you curiously, noting a change in your expression. You stand defensively, shoulders broad but still beautifully feminine, raised up a little in rising anger. You always look incredibly sexy like that, and she can’t help but let her mind run.

“Don’t.” Natasha whispers.

“Maybe you’re right,” you smirk at her, stepping forward and raising a hand to her cheek. You run your thumb across it, relishing in the growing warmth beneath it. “That isn’t the best way to solve a fight.”

She shakes her head, staring intently at you, searching for an answer in your expression. You put on such a good façade that even Natasha can’t read you sometimes.

“Definitely not,” she agrees. “We shouldn't.”

It’s barely even a second that passes, but your hands find the back of her neck and you pull her closer, leaning down to crush your mouth to hers and press your tongue against her lips.

She doesn’t hesitate to kiss you back of course, but she’s disappointed when you pull away, the hands that initially brushed your waist now pinned above her head as she’s slammed against the wall.

“Don’t fucking touch me.” You hum in her ear. Your free hand pins Natasha’s hips to the wall behind her. You feel her shiver and you grin, sinking your teeth into her neck and sucking harshly. You feel the vibration of a moan in her throat and you shove a thigh between her legs. “And don’t you dare move your hips.”

Natasha does try to stop the whimper threatening to fall, but the assertiveness in your voice and the tightening of the hand on her hip, fingers pressing into the flesh hard enough to bruise, makes it impossible and it slips out.

With another nip at her neck, you step back and leave her slouched against the wall. You don’t fail to notice the way she squeezes her thighs together at your next order. “Strip. Now.”

Natasha nods and does as she’s told, standing completely naked in front of you under your hungry gaze.

“On the bed.”

Natasha just smirks, her own hands running up her stomach to her breasts. You bite your lip and shake your head at her.

“On the bed, now, Natalia.”

“Yes, daddy.”

You release an animalistic noise in your throat, deep and slightly threatening. Natasha almost lets you win at this game when she hears it.

You grab Natasha’s hips as she strolls past you to lay on the bed, forcing her to her knees to bend her over one side of the bed. You adjust her so you can press against her ass. Your hand runs across her lower back, before lowering and delivering a slap.

“Jesus,” she yelps in surprise, the harsh sting causing a flood between her thighs. “More.”

“Yeah?” You hum, fisting her hair in your free hand. You use more force the next time you do it, and more after that progressively. By the time you’re satisfied with how obvious your marks on her ass are, she’s a whimpering mess beneath you. “Naughty girl. You gonna behave for me now?”

She nods quickly, frantic and desperate for whatever is about to come next.

“Hands and knees.” You order. Your voice is heavy and thick with lust, Natasha can’t handle herself.

She scrambles to meet your request and you kneel behind her again, running a hand over her ass softly this time to soothe it a little. You run your fingertips down the back of her thighs. God, you can feel her trembling, you can see it. You glance down at the bed sheets from where she was bent over the bed before and you tut, loud. The sheet is soaked from where she was pressed against it, the slaps to her ass evidently doing more than you thought.

“Dirty girl, look at the mess you made,” you chuckle, glancing back down at where she’s raised her ass up before you. Her thighs are slick, she’s so fucking ready to be taken that you can’t believe it. “Such a messy little slut. You just can’t control yourself, can you?”

“Mmf.” She moans at your words and you grin to yourself because dammit you’ve got her slick and ruined and moaning for you without even touching her.

“Spread your legs.” You deliver a light slap to the back of one thigh, running your hand back up to sink a finger inside her without a warning. “Just like that. Good girl. That’s it.”

She drops her head and groans, hips pushing back to take your finger deeper. She needs more. Well, in reality you know what she really needs from you right now is something else, something bigger. But you’ll make her wait for that.

You add another finger, sinking deep and curling perfectly. She whines and moans your name quietly, the sound forcing you to drive deeper inside her. Your thumb moves to circle her clit and she cries out, tightening around your fingers in a plea for more.

She’s stunning like this, spread out and sweaty and begging for more.

With the addition of a third finger, you thrust hard. The pressure on her clit is wonderful, and you know she’s close already. She whimpers, fingers grabbing at the sheets and balling them in her fists. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.”

A dark smile paints your face and you fuck into her harder, speeding up the circling and the pressure on her clit and she comes with a cry of your name, hips bucking erratically.

Pulling your fingers out, you reach around and slip them into her hot mouth. She groans around them, sucking them clean and clenching her thighs together.

You kiss her shoulder and hop off the bed, heading to that special drawer you share with Natasha. You can hear her breath hitch as she watches your every move, not moving from her position on her hands and knees. Such a good girl.

You’ve put the harness on so many times you may as well start packing with it, and at the mere thought you make a mental note for later. Natasha would definitely like it if you packed for her. You contemplate with sizes for a moment before picking up the biggest one, the need to fill her up and split her open and show her who’s in charge becoming overwhelming, to say the least.

When you return to the bed, her thighs are shaking in anticipation and you shudder, the thought of being so deep and so thick inside her ruining you and setting you alight.

“On your back. I want to watch you come for me.”

Natasha does as she’s told, turning over and laying back against the pillows. Her legs are already open for you and you crawl between them, leaning over her to kiss her slowly. She hesitates to touch you, still following your rule from earlier.

You pull away and move to take a hard nipple into your mouth. “You can touch, sweetheart.”

She breathes relief and her fingers sink and tangle through your hair, pulling you up to kiss her again. She bites at your bottom lip and groans.

You know she can’t wait any longer and you reach down to grasp the base of the toy, guiding it through her folds slowly, brushing her clit. She whimpers, bucks her hips, eyes pleading for you to just fuck her.

“Hush, baby,” you whisper, placing a kiss below her ear. “Shhh.”

She gasps, mouth falling open as you press the toy to her cunt, slipping the tip inside as her legs part further to accommodate the stretch. The toy is big. Not unrealistic in size, but definitely well above average.

You pull out and she whines. Placing a soft kiss to her cheek, you push in again, further this time, a little faster. You know she can take the stretch, you’re desperate to see it happen, but teasing her is near amusing, so much so you can’t resist.

You continue to push deeper, your hips eventually meeting hers and you groan. She’s completely full of you, stretched around that cock like it’s what she knows best. The feeling of being inside her like this is like nothing else.

“Please move your hips,” she murmurs, begging. “Please, Y/N.”

“Okay, baby,” you smile, kissing over her chest. “Okay.”

You pull out almost all the way, just leaving the tip inside her, and you thrust back in, faster than before, a little harder. A low, raspy groan forms in her throat and fingers dig into the muscles in your back, clawing and scratching for support. You growl in her ear, “harder.”

You can feel the smirk against your neck as she bites, scratching down your back with more force as your thrusts speed up, setting a delicious pace as you fuck into her.

You slow your thrusts a little so you can grasp at her legs, hooking her thighs over your shoulders and speeding up again.

“Oh fuck,” she damn near screams, the new angle surprising her pleasantly. “Fuck me harder.”

You smirk and obey, your hips moving at an incredible force just to keep her greed at bay. You’re struggling to move as she clenches around the toy, your thumb circling her clit. “So tight. Can barely move.”

She whines and scratches harder at your back. You’re certain she’s leaving marks and you can’t wait to see the bright crescent shapes littering your skin when you wake up in the morning, the aftermath of sex with Natasha being almost just as exciting as the act.

“I’m close,” she warns. A devilish smirk appears on your lips and she reads it immediately. “Don’t make me say it.”

“Say it, pretty girl.” You command. “Say it or you don’t get to come.”

She huffs and you get a new idea, reaching up to wrap your fingers around her throat. Natasha can’t help it now, keening under the rough touch.

“Please, Y/N.” She gives in. “Please can I come?”

“Mhmm, come for me.” Your lips find hers, an attempt to stop the screams coming from her which you know you’re gonna get complaints about from the rest of the team come the morning.

She comes again with a breathy whimper of your name, her nails raking down your back so hard you hiss in pain. You’d be stupid to stop fucking her so you don’t, forcing her to come again right after and she screams, your hand still around her throat.

“Oh my God,” she mutters. It’s broken, raspy, she can’t really talk properly considering how hard she just came and you love it. “Don’t tell me you’re done.”

“Nope.” You smirk, pulling out, and you flip her so she’s straddling your hips. You pat your thighs and grab the base of the toy to hold it steady. “You’re gonna fuck yourself on this toy while I watch.”

#natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff imagine #black widow #black widow imagine #black widow x reader #mcu #marvel #marvel imagine #marvel x reader #natalia romanova #tag: smut #this is fucking filthy #that's become a tag already hasn't it #i can't help it i'm h word

850 notes · View notes

tbtssstuff · 4 years

Text

BTS reacting to exposing your relationship on VLive

+RE-POST+

AN: Hi everybody I hope you enjoy this one, and if you’ve followed us to the new blog and want to read it again I hope you can enjoy it again! <3

Masterlist

-Melissa/ CinnamonAdmin

SeokJin:

You are one of the group’s make up artists

On your first day, you were assigned to be Jin’s make up artist

The first thing he noticed was how passionate you are. When you did makeup, you were so detailed and you took your time to make sure everything came out perfectly

He fell in love with that because being passionate about your art is something he definitely relates to

You both hit it off very well, you loved talking with Jin, you never ran out of things to talk about and you actually loved his dad jokes

Eventually you start dating and you both try to keep it on the down low to the other staff because it wouldn’t be very good if the word got out

Of course the rest of the boys knew and they would tease both of you because they loved how flustered you would get

One day after a concert you are helping the boys remove their makeup and the boys were doing a vlive, and you could hear Jin making fun of Jungkook

This goes on for a while then bantering back and forth eventually wrestling until Jungkook call out for you

“(Y/N) come get your man, he’s being a jerk” he says with a whiny voice

You freeze, the makeup remover falls from your hand to the floor

The boys freeze, Jungkook gasping realizing what he just did

Everyone looks to Namjoon not sure what to do at this point seeing as one of the biggest secrets they needed to keep was exposed

Namjoon walks over to the side out of the shot, Jin following him

“Jin what do you want to do?” Namjoon asks calmly as the other boys continue the live pretending like nothing happened

Jin looks at you and walks over to you “Babe what do you want to do?”

You contemplated for a moment then you took a deep breath and answered him. “Well, knowing army’s there is no way they didn’t think anything about that. I think we should tell them. We’ve been dating for a few years now. I think it will be okay if we do, I know that there will be some nasty comments, but I believe army’s want you to be happy.”

He smiled and grabbed your hand squeezing it tight. “Okay, let’s tell them”

So you guys tell Namjoon the plan and he agrees so you and Jin walk hand in hand to sit on the couch joining the other boys.

Jin speaks first “So this has been a secret, we wanted to tell you Army, though this is a little sooner than anticipated.” He said looking over at Jungkook accusingly, who apologizes with a nervous smile “But army, I want you to meet someone who means the world to me, this is (y/n). We didn’t expect it to happen, but we fell in love and I am very happy. I hope that you will be able to support our relationship and treat (y/n) well!.”

The boys and other staff start cheering and you both bow and look at each other smiling because now you don’t have to hide anymore. Both prepared to face anything as long as you’re together.

Yoongi:

You are a sound technician with BTS

You and Yoongi met for the first time during a concert when his IEM (in ear monitor) was having issues

He came backstage and you were helping him to fix it, talking to him while working on it and the chemistry you two had was great

Soon after meeting, you started hanging out and eventually dating

So one day after a concert you headed to the dressing rooms to get the IEMs from the boys

When you got to Yoongi, you helped him get his pack off and you chatted for a few minutes before it was time for you to go

You were about to go, but Yoongi grabbed your hand in for a quick kiss

Neither of you aware of Jimin walking in the room while filming right as he kissed you

He screamed and panned the camera to the other boys at lightning speed

Startling both of you causing you to look at Jimin then to the camera in his hand

Instantly both of you panic knowing he was doing a vlive

Yoongi steps back covering his mouth (like the gif above) in utter mortification not believing this was happening

He was always careful making sure not to be overly affectionate when others were around and he slipped up this one time because he didn’t know Jimin was going to do a vlive

Being the camera was facing the other way you walked over to him and made him look you in the eyes “Hey look at me, it’s going to be okay I promise. I’ll see you later okay” You said while squeezing his hand comfortingly then walking to return the IEMs

After the whole ordeal, Yoongi got out his phone to watch the comments on the vlive and surprisingly there were no comments about the kiss

The next day you all had a meeting to discuss everything and decided to remove the vlive just in case

By the end of the meeting you all came to the conclusion that it would be best to announce your relationship officially so no rumors would not spread and cause a scandal

So being the boys were scheduled for an interview, Yoongi introduced you to the hosts and army and announced that you were in a happy and healthy relationship

After the interview both you and Yoongi felt like the weight of the world was lifted from your shoulders because now you don't have to hide your love for each other anymore.

Namjoon:

You and Namjoon have been friends since childhood, and you started officially dating after he debuted

After the last concert of their tour, Namjoon decided to go home to visit his family and to see you

Your family and his family have always been close so tonight you were having a family dinner as you frequently did

As he was walking to his parent’s house, he was doing a vlive so he could record his family’s reaction because he didn’t tell them he was coming home

When he got there, he made sure to be as quiet as possible because he wanted to surprise them

When he walked into the dining room he expected to hear surprises screams from his family, what he didn’t expect was to basically be tackled with a hug by you

He caught you while still holding the camera up “Babe, why didn’t you tell me you were coming home I missed you so much!” You said tearing up because you were so happy to see him

“I missed you too baby, I didn’t know you were going to be here.” He said squeezing you tight, then it dawned on him that he was on Vlive so thousands of people were watching this happen.

Join awkwardly laughs looking at the camera and says “Well this needed to happen eventually anyways…” he pans the camera so it shows both of you “Army this is (y/n), we grew up together and we have been dating for a while now. I hope that you can accept and support us! I’m going to go now to spend time with my family, until next time.”

As he ended the vlive you look at him in shock “Wait Joon is this okay? What’s going to happen now?” You ask a little scared of the answer

“I don’t know, but I know we can get through it together.” He says pulling you in for a tight hug.

Hoseok:

You and Hobi have been dating for a while now, you met by complete chance

The boys went to a karaoke bar, and you also happened to be there with a group of your friends

When he got on the stage and started singing and he was such a goofball, and you enjoyed every second of it

When it came to be your turn he was captivated by you because you were cute and confident with your friends on stage with you

So after you were done he approached you and asked if he could buy you a drink and you two hit it off really well. He came to find out that you are a vocal coach, which explains why you were able to sing so well shortly after you two started dating

The boys just finished up with tonight’s concert and you joined them and the staff for dinner at this nice outdoor style restaurant

They were doing a vlive for the post concert celebration and of course there was some drinking so you could all distress a little bit and have fun

At some point in the night, Jin asked Hobi if he could hang out tomorrow and he was going to say yes but then he remembered something

The alcohol clouding his mind caused him to say “Oh wait I can’t I’ve got a date with (y/n) tomorrow” he said swinging his arm around you

You choked on your drink freaking out because you remembered you were on Vlive

As soon as Hobi realized what he just did his whole face dropped

Jin trying to save the situation jumped in “Haha nice joke, if you didn’t want to hang out with me you didn’t have to lie.” He said patting his back a little harder than a friendly pat to make sure he understood he just save his butt

He laughed and said “Sorry Hyung, the sad jokes are too much sometimes.” Relieved that he didn’t slip up too bad possibly putting his relationship with you at risk

Jimin:

You are an idol in a girl group

You met Jimin when you were both trainees you were both main dancers so you would run into each other a lot in the practice rooms

You would frequently eat meals together and just hang out after practices to relax

After you both debuted it was harder to see each other, so the times you got to hang out were more special to you both

One day Jimin asks you if you want to meet in the practice rooms to dance together because it’s been a while

You are both dancing for hours helping each other work on your dance routines

Eventually you both start goofing off and you play the music to a duet you learned when you were still trainees and you both start dancing to it

This song was a love song so the moves were intimate and it ended with a dip where he holds you in his arms looking down at you

You looked each other in the eyes breathing heavily after dancing and the moment is so perfect he leans in and kisses you

After he pulls away, he stands you back up and grabs your hands “(y/n) we’ve been so close ever since we were trainees and you mean so much to me. I know that I want to be in an official relationship with you.”

You say yes and pull him in for a hug

After you agree, you both talk about everything to figure out the best way to see each other without making people suspicious because it would be dangerous for the public to find out

So you agree to keep your relationship a secret. You can still hang out in the company because that’s what you have always done

But you made sure to not go anywhere in public and to try not to have many interactions during performances

This went on for years, both of you happy in your relationship. Even though you couldn’t see each other often because of your almost overwhelming schedules

But you made it work, you would text when you were able to and you would video chat. And on the rare occasion you could meet in the practice rooms you would meet up

And no one had a clue about your relationship… yet anyways

Both of your groups just made a comeback and you both performed at music bank

It was time for the results, and your group were one of the finalists

BTS was standing behind your group and when the announcer said that your group were the first place winners your group erupted in cheers so excited for your first win

Jimin was so excited for you that when you turned to him he picked you up in a hug and when he put you down, he grabbed your face and said “Congratulations (y/n), I am so proud of you, all your hard work has paid off!”

You were smiling and crying tears of joy so excited for the win and the support and your group members pulled you away from Jimin but not before you could silently mouth an ‘I love you’ to him, and he held up a finger heart back to you

As he walked backstage so your group could enjoy your win, Hobi walked up behind him swinging his arm around his shoulders and said “So Jimin, what was that back there?”

Jimin gulped nervously, “What do you mean? I was congratulating (y/n) for their first win. We’ve been friends for years and I’m just really happy for her.”

Hobi not buying a single word said “No friends don’t hug like that, or say I love you looking at each other like that”

Jimin started to panic a bit and pulled Hobi to the side and said “Okay obviously we are more than friends but no one can find out about this Hyung. What (y/n) and I have is very special and I don’t want to put our relationship at risk. We will tell people at the right time, but I want to let her enjoy this moment.”

Hobi gave him a cheeky smile and patted his back “It’s okay, I won’t tell anyone, but I think you and (y/n) need to talk about this and figure out what you’re gonna do. Because this time I was the only one who noticed, but there’s no telling who will see next time.”

After your group was finished, you came backstage to meet Jimin and when you found him you could tell something was on his mind. “Hey is everything okay?” You asked him, concern evident in your voice.

He looked up at you and flashed his famous eye hiding smile and said he was okay but asked you to meet him in the practice room at the company

You were still worried, but you said okay and left to go change and get your makeup removed.

When you were done you met him there, and he’s sitting on the floor scrolling through his phone so you go sit next to him and lean against his shoulder enjoying the comfort you rarely get to have with him

You sit there for a while, but you sit up and turn to face him “Okay now tell me because I’m dying to know, what was bothering you earlier?”

He turns towards you and gives a little chuckle “Well we just need to talk to you about a couple things. Nothing bad, just that today Hobi found out about us and he told me he thinks we should talk about what to do just in case someone else sees us.”

So you both talk it out and decide that telling people officially would be the best thing to do. So the first thing you do is talk to the CEO of the company to explain everything and ask to reveal the relationship in order to not cause rumors to spread

After a lengthy discussion everyone is in agreement

The first thing you do is tell your group members who were all supportive of you because they know how close you’ve always been

Then both of your groups do a vlive and Namjoon and your group leader tell the fans that there is a very special announcement they want to make

And then you and Jimin walk over to each other and hold hands and you tell the fans that you are officially in a relationship and you hope they can support you and you bow to the camera then walk to sit together as you all continue the vlive

You and Jimin start reading the comments, there are a few slightly negative comments, but a lot of them are very supporting

Some people actually said they shipped you two together and they were so excited for you both.

You looked at each other and smiled, very grateful to have the supportive fans you do. And also so grateful to have each other, to be there for each other no matter what may happen in the future.

Taehyung:

You and Tae met when he was a trainee, but you have only been dating for about 4 years now and it has been very difficult to hide your relationship, but you were both very Happy and you were able to travel with them so usually you could blend in as a staff member

One night after a concert you were all walk-in down the street to check into the hotel and at some point, Jin and Jungkook started a Vlive

You and Tae were towards the back of the group holding hands and joking around just having a good time

Namjoon was reading the comments and suddenly he started seeing comments of people asking who Taehyung was holding hands with, is Taehyung dating, and other messages basically slandering whoever was walking with him.

He looked closer to the video feed and realized that in the very back was Tae and you holding hands for everyone to see

He didn’t tell you guys immediately because he didn’t want to cause a panic

So he casually walked up to Jin and Jungkook and said that it was time for them to end the live because they were almost at the hotel

When you get to the hotel and get settled in your rooms, you guys hear a knock on the door and open it to see Namjoon standing there with a conflicted look on his face

Once he got in the room you all sat down on the bed and he spoke “Guys don’t panic, but armies were able to see the two of you together during Jins Vlive earlier and people were asking questions.”

It’s like the whole world stopped turning

After all this time of avoiding contact in front of people and the one time you break that rule the secret is basically out.

You start to panic not able to control your emotions

Tae just stares blankly at first, but he snaps out of it and he turns to you to try to calm you down

He wipes your tears away and gently holds your face “(y/n) shh, shh , it’s okay. Everything will be okay, we just need to make a plan.”

You focus on calming your breathing and you close your eyes comforted by how cool his hands are against your face

“Right (y/n), it will all work out. Tomorrow we will talk to our boss and see what our best plan of action would be. For now I think it would be best if we all get some rest and clear our heads” Namjoon says giving you a bright smile

You nod in agreement. And as Namjoon leaves you snuggle up to Tae ready to sleep and prepare for tomorrow

The next day the decision that is made is to do a vlive to reveal your relationship publicly

So that’s what you do, unfortunately there are a lot of mean comments from the antis who don’t support your relationship, but there are also a lot of comments of support

Its conflicting to have the hate comments, but seeing the love shows who the true armies are anyways

You look to Tae and smile, you know it’s going to be hard, but you are beyond willing to follow this man anywhere. And he feels the same way about you.

Jungkook:

Jungkook would be doing a vlive in his hotel room after one of their concerts he had his camera set up and he was working on his laptop

He wasn’t talking very much because he was focused on the lyrics he was working on and he actually forgot he was doing a vlive

You came in about 30 minutes later because you went out to get food

You walk in the room and over to him bags of food in hand

There is a small dining table behind the desk he’s working at so you go and spread out the food and you call him over

Once he smells the food he stands up and practically bounces over to you and gives you a hug because he is starving after the concert because he wanted to wait to get back to the hotel so he could eat with you.

“Thanks jagi I don’t know what I would do without you.” He says kissing your cheek

So you both sit and start eating just talking about your days

Neither of you aware of the vlive still going with millions of army’s watching you

This goes on until you both get startled by the almost booming knocking on the door.

You get up and walk over to open the door to a panting Jimin who ran from his room to yours

“(Y/N) Jungkook was doing a vlive!” He whispers, hold up his phone panic evident in his voice

You slowly turn around and look at the camera sitting on his desk he just looks at the two of you completely unaware of what’s going on

You face palm and call him over to you and Jimin shows him the phone

He instantly runs over to his desk and sees the camera sitting there with a clear view of the table and realizes that army would have seen the interactions he shared with you.

He doesn’t say anything he just ends the live obviously confusing armies

Jimin speaks up “Jungkook what happened?!”

“I don’t know, I guess I got so focused on writing the lyrics I completely forgot I was live.” He said looking down ashamed for slipping up like that

You put your hand on his back “It will be okay Kookie, we will figure something out. Let’s talk to the other boys and Bang PD Nim and figure out what we need to do.”

“Yeah she’s right, don’t get too worried about it.” Jimin says trying to comfort the distressed Maknae.

The next day after a long meeting with Big Hit’s CEO and the other members

The decision is to announce your relationship publicly. So there is a quick photo session and then Big Hit announces on social media and their website that you and Jungkook are in an official relationship

Of course there is some negative backlash, but there is more support than you both could have ever hoped for.

195 notes · View notes

mumufic · 3 years

Text

My ranty Author Notes to address questions on my Three Sisters fic

So, I feel like I should put up some notes on a number of recurring questions I get in the comments, for those who don’t really read my responses (because I do provide some detailed explanations for why certain things are happening in my fic, but I get it if sloughing through comments for insight isn’t your thing; it isn’t mine either, hence the A/N.)

Why is Lily so stupid / obtuse / blind about Snape? Let’s level-set a couple of things: A) Lily is about as Gryffindor as they come, and some of the more common character flaws of people who belong to that house is that they rather tend to think a lot less of situations before diving in. That’s the case for Lily in this fic. Snape was her first magical friend that she’d ever met. She cherishes that friendship because she knows it’s returned even though she might not agree with a lot of Snape’s beliefs, not to mention Snape was the first person who told her that all the strange things that have been happening to her was the result of her being magical. For a child feeling the otherness of her abilities so keenly around her perfectly normal, muggle working class family, that is a huge thing. For the first time, Lily thought she’d met someone who understood her and the things she could do, and for that to have happened to her as a child, the person who validates that part of her being is going to play a very central role in her life until she reaches a breaking point. In the books, that breaking point was when Snape’s bigotry included her. For the longest time, he’d always excluded her from his hateful rhetoric, and there’s passages in the books that support that. B) Lily is a kid. She’s 11, and she probably met Snape at a much younger age (I’m guessing around 8 or 9) Kids who value their friends can sometimes be stupidly loyal to them even when their friends are behaving badly. Why do you think peer pressure is such a huge thing among young people? It’s partly because they value the person who is their friend to the point of being foolhardy over said friend’s bad actions. C) A lot of Snape’s bigotry goes over Lily’s head, because she’s never been taught to find differences between magical and non-magical people. Her parents obviously love her and Petunia the same and for her, that means they’re no different. She doesn’t understand the superiority Snape feels over Petunia, and because she doesn’t understand it, and also because she’s just a stupid kid who doesn’t really know better or even understands the slurs that come out of Snape’s mouth, she doesn’t think too much of it. Notice that Lily actually does call him out when he’s being mean to Petunia in ways that she can understand, when Snape tells Petunia that he had no place being in Platform 9 3/4 for example. But then Snape follows it up with reasoning that seems to be perfectly sound - Platform 9 3/4 is a magical location; it might not be the best place for Petunia to be. As for the spoon encounter, Lily had some basic understanding of accidental magic, thanks to Holly, and mostly chocked up that unfortunate event to Snape’s accidental magic rearing up from Petunia’s mean-spirited taunting. Petunia isn’t innocent in that scene, if you go back to it and think critically on it, look at it in the eyes of a normal rational adult. She’s just presented as being sympathetic because the narration is from Holly’s POV, and Holly likes this Petunia and hates Snape absolutely. Lastly, pretty much everything I have on Snape during the Summer with the Evanses part of this story have a basis in canon. He was hateful to Petunia, but Lily constantly made excuses for him, thinking that he’s just mean in general because of his difficult family life. The same goes when they get to Hogwarts. Snape spouts the same bigoted things the Slytherin Purebloods say, and Lily makes excuses for him. That’s canon. Lily made excuses for Snape’s behavior to her sister and her friends (especially Mary, who was canonically muggleborn) until she found she couldn’t anymore because his hatefulness suddenly spilled over to include her. Does that make Lily stupid? Probably, yes. Does it make her human? Fucking hell yes, and anyone who thinks that they won’t behave that way have clearly never figured out conflicted love-hate relationships with toxic people, so good for you, but these things happen to others, and it shouldn’t be surprising. There’s a basis for this in reality, and there’s a basis for Lily’s blind loyalty to Snape in canon. And barring all of that if you don’t agree, it’s my fic, and I choose to write her this way. If that makes her a stupid character and you think I’m assassinating Lily’s characterization from canon, your interpretation is valid, but so is my right to write what I want as long as I’m not making a cent off of this. Thanks.

Why is Sirius spouting the bigotry he vehemently disavowed in OoTP? And why did he call Holly a mudblood? I don’t know about you, but I think Sirius had to have been an extremely sheltered child, growing up in a magical house surrounded on all sides by a muggle neighborhood. I think he started questioning why he wasn’t allowed to play with other children whom he could probably see from his bedroom window, but he didn’t actually know how and why he needed to reason it out with his parents until he met people who taught him how to articulate the feelings he had over his parents’ bigotry against muggles and muggleborns. As for why he called Holly a mudblood, again, has a lot to do with the normalization of hate in the household he grew up in. Walburga and Orion Black taught their children to hate anything and anyone that didn’t subscribe to the same Pureblood rhetoric as they did. And since Sirius thought Holly lived with the Evanses, who were muggle, and not with the Potters who were Purebloods, he didn’t see a distinction for her blood status from Mary or Lily, who were actually muggleborn. Hell, I don’t even think Sirius understood blood status all that well at all as an 11-year-old. He was just repeating shit he heard his parents say because he didn’t know any better. I’m not going to tell you how to interpret your reading of my fic, but generally, I wouldn’t ascribe knowledge that I know of characters and events to the characters within the story, because they can’t be expected to know and understand what I know and understand, especially in a fic written in such a limited POV, and things like Holly’s blood status, would not be known to Sirius because Holly had never actually told James or him about her parents, other than that they were Potters. And while you can make a case for the fact that Holly told Sirius and Regulus in Chapter 7 that she’s not muggleborn, I still stand by the idea that the Black exclusionist ideas that Walburga and Orion taught their children would still have Sirius identifying her as one simply because of where he thinks she grew up in.

Why is Holly so stupidly letting so many details from her timeline out to her friends? I think we should all cut Holly some slack for spilling so many details about her life to Lily and Petunia. She’s an orphan who’ finally met the girl who would be her mother. She can’t shut up about her life because OMG my MUM! I finally got to meet her! On top of that, up until the point where Holly met Fleamont Potter, the last time Holly had been warned about meddling with time had been when she was in third year, and it was rushed and the warning hadn’t even been made to her; it had been McGonagall warning Hermione and Hermione repeating the same information to her. So the meddling about time? Holly didn’t exactly give a shit. Lastly, we have so many references in canon of Harry Potter being an exceptionally impulsive little blockhead to the point where he constantly gets himself into trouble. Running after the Philosopher’s Stone in PS, continuing on to fight the basilisk and look for Ginny while Ron tries to get help in CoS, haring off to the Ministry in OoTP, Sectumsempra in HBP, uttering Voldemort’s name and getting them caught by Snatchers in DH… the list is actually pretty damn long. So why should it not be a character flaw for Holly in this fic to be stupidly impulsive in the information she gives out to a person she thinks is her mother, one she’s loved and idolized and put on a pedestal all her life? Why shouldn’t she spout similarly incriminating information to a boy she knows would be her godfather, whom she trusted and loved up until he got killed? It’s a character flaw, yes, and I’m not here to write perfect characters, because perfect characters who only do the right and intelligent thing make for a dry, boring read. If you weren’t about annoying flaws like this, then you’re welcome to click off my fic and find some other story where Harry is the perfect godsent angel come to save us all. That’s not what this story is about.

Why aren’t you patching up any of these inconsistencies that multiple people have already pointed out? Some of them, because that is how I want to write the characters in my story. Some of them, because there will be points in the future where these things are addressed and resolved. And yet still some of them because I don’t want to. Yes, even the stupid ones that really don’t make sense and should probably be changed. I don’t want to go back and change them. That’s how I am as a fic writer, and last I checked, this is still my fanfic.

Want to have a say in how I’m planning the characterization and plotting out? I’m still looking for a beta who I’d like to be able to help me with things like plot inconsistencies, annoying characterization (ok, shut up about Lily already. I didn’t make her this stupid; JKR did when she wrote Lily insisting on her friendship with Snape all the way up to fifth year!), and just generally talk about how and where I intend for the story to go.

If you’d like to beta for me, hit me up on my main Tumblr, @mumuinc or DM me on Discord; my profile is mumuinc#7662.

#fanfic writing #the three sisters #my writing

30 notes · View notes

ikemen-bully · 4 years

Text

The Heroine’s Importance

I already posted this on my main blog but now that I have blog exclusively for otome game I rather keep it there.

Back then when Utapri and Hakuouki were the notorious reverse harems of their time, their heroines were as hated as the anime was loved. A weird phenomenon since they’re… the heroine of those shows.

Haruka Nanami was even the driving force of the show. In Utapri, which was an anime about music, she was the one with the idea that the boys should come together and become idols. She’s the reason why STARISH exists in the first place.

For Hakuouki, the case was a bit different. It was a historic anime where the warriors of the Shinsengumi were changed into bishonen (a bit in the similar fashion that Ikemen Sengoku is today) and even if it followed some real events, a plot about human experimentation and oni was also included.

In this story Chizuru Yukimura wasn’t the responsible of the Shinsengumi, but we could see the story through her eyes and assisted the evolution of the story through her.

Both did their job as the heroine. The story was enjoyable.

To me it was weird to try to dissociate the quality the anime with the quality of their heroine. If the heroine was this awful, how her presence didn’t ruin the anime for those who hated her?

Well obviously because of the boys, who were kind of the point of those anime. After all they were put forward, especially in Hakuouki, for a reason.

Still it was unfair to judge them so cruelly, so today in fandom, this behaviour is criticized.

Now we even get positivity for the heroine, such as putting them on an equal foot as the boys! Which is great!

But is it true?

I thought about doing this post because I thought of a short-lived trend in anime which revealed a certain behaviour in both the creators of those anime and their fandom.

“The heroine matter as much as the boys”

The anime which started this trend in my eyes was Amnesia.

In this story the heroine wakes up without her memories and her soul linked to a fairy, Orion, which collided with her and made her lose her memories this way.

It had an original concept, stunning visual, wonderful OST (an opening by Yanagi Nagi!), it looked mysterious and I was very curious about it.

To my dismay, the anime was boring to say the least. And it wasn’t because it was a reverse harem so it was to be expected. Utapri and Hakuouki had their flaws but they weren’t outright uninteresting.

The problem that was the most noticeable was the heroine which didn’t even have a name or a personality.

So as the anime can make you guess, the heroine has amnesia. She’s lost at the beginning of the anime, making this premise interesting. After all when a character has amnesia, one of the points of the story is to make them recover their memories.

Which means that the heroine will be a very important character, even more since everything is from her POV! Right? Right?

The heroine doesn’t evolve throughout the story. She’s merely there for the boys to be in love with her past self, the one before she had amnesia and even if she cares for them (as a heroine always has to do) she doesn’t really love any and just adapts to the one she’s supposed to love in the animated route.

I can’t say that the heroine of Amnesia is badly written since she’s barely written at all. She’s there to support the boys and forgive anything which happens to her. For example being harassed or get sequestrated in a cage :

Even in this situation where the love interest keep her in a cage, she care more about how much he does that to “protect her” :

.Except to protect herself from direct danger (and even like this she needs Orion to tell her to be careful because she can’t think for herself), she doesn’t care about her own well being as much as a normal human being would.

Brothers conflict have a simpler plot where the heroine’s father marries a woman who has 13 sons, making her their only step sister.

Different conflict with the brothers will arise and it’s already challenging to try to develop the characters when there’s 13 of them. With only 12 episodes, not all of them will fall in love with Ema? the heroine, but enough of them will, to make it as confusing as possible.

In this anime we meet the same kind of heroine as Amnesia, where the heroine doesn’t have much personality for herself. Or at least, the only noticeable personality traits of Ema is to love having a family which she will repeat at any given opportunity.

I really hated the guys in this anime for how egotistical they were as soon as they fall in love. Once again the heroine doesn’t crush on anyone, making them all forceful toward her.

Despite this, the heroine would somewhat express that she doesn’t want her relationship with them to turn romantic.

If anything the heroine’s main presence will be about how uncomfortable she is that her brothers try to seduce her.

But again, what matters the most is that they love her, not that she doesn’t return those feelings back and she even gets depressed over it :

A revelation is made about the heroine which will make her depressed about the whole situation, especially that her brothers fight over her.

But it won’t be used to develop her as a character or to make them aware of it. It’ll be used for a romantic moment with one of her love interest, who will kiss her even if he know how much it disturb her :

The heroine is kissed multiple times by attractive guys yes, but who she doesn’t love and explicitly rejects at the end of the anime.

And even if she gets kissed, the heroine is just worried about the situation of the family, not how herself is treated by them. She never says, “what about me? Why are you kissing me when all I want is for you to stop?” or anything similar. She cares about them more than she cares about herself.

And even though she’s supposedly uncomfortable by their behaviour, she doesn’t seem like that most of the time, just enthusiastic about having a family as usual.

At the end of the anime, a lot of people were upset that the heroine didn’t choose anyone. Why would she have to when we see how the guys act?

The behaviour of the boys

A thing that we can notice in all of this is that sometimes, the guys can be really awful to the heroine but as she doesn’t care about herself, she won’t hold any mistreatment toward her person against any of them. For example at the end of brothers conflict even when she reject one of the guys, “no” doesnt mean “no”.

But why are they authorized to be egoistic and possessive without any consequences? In brothers conflict, one of the guys even tries to rape her in her sleep and blame her for that :

But again despite this, I’ve never seen hate against this character, while, like it always happen, a lot of hatred is directed to Ema.

The guys are never hated for their actions because everything they do is depicted as being romantic (even if it definitely aren’t like the scene above) and it’s motivated by their love or their pain anyway.

“Love make them go crazy” because, after all, they can’t help it, they love the heroine so much that some accidents are bound to happen, like trying to undress her in her sleep or keeping her in a cage for her own good :

It’s just an accident! They can’t help it!

But sometime it can perfectly be a conscious choice but again, not shown as being cruel.

The last anime which has this tendency to not develop their main character at all was Diabolik Lovers, where Yui Komori gets stuck with 6 sadistic vampire who abuse her daily.

We enter in the kink theory here, and being masochist and finding the idea of bitten hot isn’t a problem. The problem is that in the story, Yui is blocked in this place and she obviously doesn’t enjoy to be the playthings of those men :

Each time she is bitten she expresses that she wants it to stop. But they don’t care. Because in Diabolik Lovers, Yui isn’t their love interest but their prey.

Again we have the same problem as the other heroines where she has no real personality beside caring about the boys above herself. In this case it’s even worse because the guys are predators who will hurt Yui without any second thoughts, but she acts like they are acquaintances . Despite all the abuse she goes through at their hands she goes to them to casually start a discussion which will always end up with her being abused :

The last time she interacted with him let’s see what happened :

Once again there’s a priorities on her interacting with the boys rather than making her behavior have any sense.

What is weird with this anime, in particular, is how much the heroine is blamed for not fighting back…while she can’t. They overpower her anyway.

But the guys aren’t hated for acting this way in the first place. Isn’t it odd? Yui is victim blamed and even if she suffers, we’re never shown the real impact that such daily abuse would have on her. She even worries about them at the littlest injury they can have :

While they’re the one hurting her :

Or if they ever care about her wound it’s because someone else did it to her and they feel entitled to her body, so they want to fight the other person :

Despite the statement that they’re equal, in anime such as these it’s not the case because the guys are given excuses for their bad behavior, while the heroine has to deal with it and put them above herself.

Still, they’re supposed to be equal so despite everything the heroine can end up to be liked… but in this context it is weird.

In the case of Yui who cares about her abuser no matter what, she gets praised for caring about the guys :

She cares about them without real explanation because all the interaction with her in the anime lead to abuse at some point. It can be the Stockholm Syndrome but it’s not depicted as anything else other than your usual heroine caring about the people around her, even if they abuse her.

As such, people tend to praise her for what she’s designed to do : putting them above her.

She even gets shipped with those who torment her and the self destructive attitude she has to help them no matter how much they hurt her is glorified.

If she is loved, if she matters, why should she be paired with those who hurt her the most?

They don’t lash out to her because they’re upset, it’s a behaviour that they consciously do like above with the cage. You can’t possibly “accidentally” put someone in a cage because you’re “protective”.

But at the end even if the heroine “matters as much as the boys” there’s a priority on them being healed by her rather than her own well being. Even if Yui gets traumatized, it doesn’t matter as much as the trauma of the guys and her neglecting herself for one of her abusers who won’t even care about her happiness, since all they want is to have her.

In the same way, it doesn’t matter that the heroine of Amnesia has been drugged and kept in a cage : Toma, the love interest, does it for her own good since she’s getting harassed and we have to be sad about how much he becomes insane for her sake. We shouldn’t worry how horrific the situation is for the heroine but try to understand him.

For Ema, we have to care about how much the guys have fallen for her and how much it puts a toll on them that she doesn’t reply to those feelings. It doesn’t matter that she shown no desire to be with any of them since the beginning, even when she finally rejects them, they can kiss her because they matter the most.

And in fandom space, her importance is still limited to her catering to the boys, and even if it’s supposed to be mutual love, they never care about her feelings to the point of respecting her.

It doesn’t matter what they do to her, she has to care for them despite anything. Those heroines are written as such, and the fandom accepts them this way too.

She doesn’t matter as much as they do, because if she was, her feelings would matter and she wouldn’t be written as being “caring” at the expense of herself.

You can say that since she’s the heroine, it’s normal that she cares about the boys, since the point of reverse harem is to have attractive boys first. And I would agree with that if it wasn’t so exaggerated.

Now not all reverse harems are written this way. There’s actually reverse harems where the heroine matters as much as the guys.

For example in Dance with Devils, Ritsuka, the heroine, constantly searches to know the truth which is hidden from her. It can seem foolish since it mostly puts her in danger though.

But to this, she also get rightly upset when one of the guys try to seduce her and something literally inexistent in reverse harem, she can even slap him for his misconduct! :

She can even get depressed about how manipulated she ends up to be. For this reason, she end up lashing out at one of the guys :

Her emotions matter and you have to remember that Dance with Devils was out around the same time than the second season of Diabolik Lovers :

The heroine of the anime above never had the right to be sad about their situation, their feelings weren’t pushed forward. They have no right to be sad or upset, just kind and caring and nothing else.

At the end of the anime, Ritsuka even received hate for the choice because it was about herself, not about her love interest.

Amnesia, Brothers Conflict and Diabolik Lovers heroine’s exist only to care for the boys while at least the ones of Dance with Devils exist to have the guys attracted to her but also to pursue her own goals.

As such, it’s a mistake to say that all the heroines matter as much as the boys because it can be factually wrong in the way they’ve been created.

I don’t like that the heroines are automatically hated for being the heroine, but I don’t think it’s fair to praise them just for this reasons either.

They all have been written with different level of writing and for differents purpose, one of them being only there for the guys and not the other way around. For this reason, they should be judged differently, and people should accept that others will not like all of them.

Reverse Harem heroines are all different because the anime they are in have been done with different sake in mind. Reverse harem are like any other type of anime : with good and bad anime, good and bad protagonist.

And it would be better to accept this diversity than trying to frame all the heroine as the same.

Hopefully now the heroine’s tend to not be written that way anymore and tend to matter as much as the guys in the anime too.

#diabolik lovers #brothers conflict #amnesia memories #yui komori #ema hinata #heroine amnesia #Ritsuka tachibana #dance with devils

596 notes · View notes

animatedminds · 3 years

Text

Pixar’s Soul: Review and Reaction

The first sentence I’ve always used to describe Pete Docter and Pixar’s Soul since watching it has nothing to do with the plot. It’s instead is a starstruck comment about the music: the movie begins with a cover of a Duke Ellington classic - Mercer Ellington’s “Things Ain’t What they Used to Be.” It ends with a jazz rendition of a classic from several decades later - but still quite a bit in our past - Curtis Mayfield’s soul classic “It’s Alright.” On a personal level, this would say way more about Soul that most other descriptions of it might to get me to watch it - were I not the kind of person who was absolutely intent on watching the movie day one regardless. Though I am myself a few generations after either of those artists were around, their music has been a part of my life since I was a kid and are essential on any playlist in my opinion. Curtis Mayfield’s music, especially, deserves all the love in the world, and hearing by surprise someone cover his work in a Disney movie made my entire day - and it would have, even if the film weren’t the meaningful ride it is.

But before we get into all that, lets also look at those songs. “Things Aren’t What They Used To Be” is played a la a teacher and a higher school band class: the students are learning and a bit difficult to listen to, while the music-loving teacher cringes at the front. But the choice of song tells us a lot. It’s a jazz standard: which means when it comes to jazz, it’s one of the essentials - a tune every band learns to play, and every jazz fan has heard before. The teacher is a jazzman - you can probably guess who - and the whole time he’s listening to the song you can hear him wanting to sit down and make it sound as perfectly as he hears it in his head. Remember that analogy. Heck, when you watch or rewatch the movie, remember the mindset Joe - because that’s who that teacher is, Joe Gardner, is in for that whole teaching scene in the first place: and remember how important the desire to make things perfect is to the greater story the movie is trying to tell.

“Things Aren’t The Way They Used To Be,” indeed. By the end, you have to wonder: isn’t that the point? Now the second song. “It’s All Right” is a smooth number for dancing to - not frenetic and wild dancing, but more a slow jam sort of vibe. BUt it’s the lyrics that are the most befitting the themes of the movie. Like several of Curtis Mayfield’s tunes “It’s All Right” is an ear worm of an R&B number that’s actually about being a peace with yourself. “You’ve got soul” - ha, I get it - “and everybody knows, that it’s all right.” Or, to quote instead my favorite verse of the song (I did say Mayfield was one of my favorites): “when you wake up early in the morning feeling sad like so many of us do, hum a little soul, make life your goal, and surely something’s gonna come to you.” This is before the spoilery part of the review, but they could not have picked a better song for the movie’s themes if they wrote it themselves.

Soul, after all, is ultimately a movie about how the things we do, the things we love, even the things that define us and should make us feel good in and of themselves, can become a shackle that prevents us from feeling the things that we adopt them to feel. Dreams - especially dreams deferred - can consume us rather than uplift us, and sometimes in pursuing them we may forget to live, and forget that others are living in this world and dreaming alongside us.

This, as you might be able to tell from the way I’ve described it, is a movie with a very strong, and most importantly very well related message that - as we’ve come to expect from Pixar’s output at this point - touches us in our jaded adult hearts. As a creative person with lofty dreams who has almost literally been where the protagonist is in this film - and as many in my generation also have gone through - it definitely feels like a film that was directed straight at the generation that first watched Toy Story as kids decades ago, and now feel somewhat unfulfilled as adults going into the world. Same as Inside Out (a movie specifically designed to make adults cry, in my opinion), the SparkShorts and arguably Onward (I definitely related to Bailey, some). So much like my review of Jingle Jangle, you have something of an idea where this review is going to go before the jump, but that’s okay. This movie did have ups and downs, but its just the kind of up Pixar is good at: they know they’re audience, and especially did for this gem. By the end, it can definitely make you feel as though you too can make it through, as long as you have a little Soul. However, it is not just the message, but the nuances and skill in which they relate that message (and they do come close to making decisions that could have ruined it, at times), which means it’s very difficult for me to put why this movie works into a review without SPOILERS. If you want to avoid SPOILERS, don’t hop over the pic and instead treat the above as your non-SPOILER review.

Soul is the story of one Joe Gardner, played by Jamie Foxx a brilliant early middle-aged pianist with lifelong dreams of becoming a jazz musician, who we first meet teaching part time band at a local high school. The inciting incident is an interesting choice: Joe gets a major offer - he can come on as a full time teacher, making his occupation a career! But Joe believes very much in the adage that “those who cannot do, teach” - in the sense that he wants to do. He cannot accept the position - over the advice of his mother - because that would mean giving up on his dream of being out there playing music for a living: a dream that has consumed him his entire life but which has given him nothing in return. Until now. While agonizing over the decision to take the position, Joe's life then gets a big twist: a former student of his, remembering him fondly years after they knew each other, has a hook for him to join the band of a famous jazz singer and saxophonist - played by Angela Basset (side note, here: jazz has long had a reputation for being something of a boys club, especially for certain instruments, and the choice to have the lead saxophonist and famous idol whose band Joe wants to join be a woman is a great choice that my entire jazz-loving and living family took note of). Joe is instantly elated - he rushes over and naturally aces the audition for the part in the band, and so is on cloud nine...

Until he dies. That’s when the plot really starts. Joe falls down a manhole like an astronomer in an aesop fable, and is now stuck on the slow escalator to The Great Beyond. Naturally, he’s not for that and tries to escape - pursued by overeager spiritual soul-accountant Terry - ending up in the Great Before instead, and leaving his body in a still-living coma (the implications that coma patients in general are people who are choosing not to die when they’re “supposed” to is something I’m sure the writers didn’t intend, so I’ll let it slide). There, Joe is pressganged into mentoring a pre-prepared soul for birth, helping them find their Spark for life - which Joe interprets as the one true purpose and dream they are meant to fulfill. Once he gets them their Spark, he will be able to steal a badge his mentee earns as fully fledged souls and . Luckily for his intended very morally suspect intent on spiritual larceny, he ends up with Soul #22 - and that’s #22 out of hundreds of billions - a soul who has simply never found a Spark despite having been in the Great Before for thousands of years. #22 doesn’t want to live, so she agrees to give him her patch when they’re done. But no mentor before has been able to inspire her (well, technically #22 is genderless, as she demonstrates in the story at Joe’s request, but she is voiced by Tina Fey), so how can Joe? When that proves to be too hard indeed, #22 instead decides to help Joe get back - mostly because she’s intrigued at why anyone would want to cling to life so badly - with the help of some mystics who astral project while in the Zone: where everyone goes when they’re fully immersed in what they do. This almost works, but at the last second everything goes awry: #22 gets mixed up with Joe when he returns, and so he doesn’t quite get back the way he wants to...

That’s enough plot summary for now. That’s all just the set-up anyway, for the choices in writing and concept that I’m about to talk about. As you might have been able to tell from that ominous last note, the middle chunk of Soul - almost right up until the climax, in fact - is actually a body-swap movie, a la Freaky Friday. #22 ends up in Joe’s body, so he has to get her to do the things he needs to get ready for his gig and get through the day while they wait for the mystic to bring a way to set everything right. And did I mention he’s in the body of a cat? Having been following the movie, this wasn’t entirely a surprise, but it was still not something I was entirely ready for coming in. I tend to shy away from that kind of story on a personal level, as body-swap narratives are nearly predominantly based on cringe moments and awkward misconceptions - and that sort of thing usually tends to make me want to leave the scene in question and get a cup of water until after the awkwardness passes. However, this isn’t really part of the review in the sense that I perceive that the movie being in that genre is a flaw - because ultimately that’s just an aspect of my personal taste. Rather, I use it to show just how strong a movie Soul was and how well its narrative choices resonated with its themes that ultimately while it did indeed partake in your typical body-swap narrative cringe moments - “look, the [redacted] in Joe’s body just ran into his boss / mom!” / “look, the [redacted] is having a bizarre conversation with Joe’s friends!” / etc - those moments actually add to the narrative rather than take you out of it. Joe as “friends,” as exemplified by the barber he goes to to get his hair ready for the gig when it inevitably gets ruined in a bout of hijinks (the barber being that extremely well-designed bearded character the internet went wild over). He goes to that barber all the time, talks with him constantly, and believes he knows him well. But it turns out that Joe’s so wrapped up in his wants and desires that he’s never even asked him about his life - he just assumed that the barber was like him, born to do that one thing he was good at. It takes #22′s innocent, slightly off-kilter and occasional philosophical questions about what the heck all this “life” stuff is about for Joe to learn that this person in his life didn’t even want to be where he ended up initially, he ended up there because that’s the way his life turned, but he loves it because it’s life and he appreciates the world he’s come to create around himself. Likewise, he runs into his mom, but while Joe has come to expect his mother to be dismissive of him and his dreams, it takes an accident with #22 for him to realize that he’s been so caught up in his desires and her in her preconceptions that neither of them have ever had a real talk about their relationship, nor given a chance to grow in each other’s eyes. You might notice a trend. One of Joe’s students - a brilliant trombonist - comes to tell him she’s quitting band, but she doesn’t really. She’s just insecure because the other students make fun of her. Joe knows this already - it’s become commonplace to him - so the doesn’t feel the need to do anything about it and instead focuses on his own needs. But #22 decides to talk to her on a whim, and this push and pull of insecurity but joy in what one is good at fascinates her, while it bores Joe. While - like any other New Yorker - public transit is a chore to Joe, the melting pot of people and music draws #22 in: best evidenced by the moment where Joe and #22 meet another great musician playing for tips in the subway. Joe, despite being capable of relating as a musician, just walks past him after appreciating the sound for a sec, while #22, entranced by the things people do, leaves something for him. The world is drab and lacking in vibrancy from Joe’s point of view, as evidenced by the very accurate grimy look of the high school he work at - but from #22′s seemingly jaded eyes seeing it for the first time, it’s full of wonder.

This actually creates an interesting character contrast on top of the one we already know: Joe is the idealist, and #22 is the cynic... right? Well, it turns out Joe doesn’t have much of an appreciation for the world around him - not intentionally, but still to a very strong degree - whereas #22 simply hasn’t had the chance to experience life yet and thus never knew what it was that made people want to be part of it. Life itself becomes her Spark, though neither of them realize it at the time. Lets just get the aesop out of the way now. Your dream is not your life: that’s what Soul wants to say. Things that compel you as a person may consume you, even embitter you, and prevent you from seeing the world around you for what it is. But that doesn’t make dreams a bad thing: people everywhere find that Spark from the dreams to keep moving forward - it’s just that it shouldn’t preclude living, nor should living preclude your dreams. Life is a delicate balance, and man is this movie serving up some complicated life lessons here. I immediately took this as a far more mature take on the message The Princess and the Frog stumbled somewhat through years ago (man, I’m turning out to be pretty hard on that movie in this blog). My biggest issue with PATF is that it tells us that Tiana should be less intent on her dream and find love instead, but doesn’t show us. It’s just characters chiding her for not settling down until the plot ultimately pushes a man in front of her and she realizes she should’ve been finding one all along. That’s a very harsh way of putting it, but it condenses what I’m trying to say: ultimately PATF pushes Tiana to realizations she doesn’t seem to need, whereas Soul has a similar message about life and does so by focusing on character development, about how the protagonist doesn’t have as firm a handle on his life as he thought, and thus brings us a take on the lesson that’s far less cut and dry.

If you’re a fan of The Incredibles, the comparison to Mr. Incredible is fairly easy. Joe, though well meaning and decent overall, is a very self-centered person who happens to be so for very sympathetic and relatable reasons. He just wants to do the thing he feels he was born to. He'll do anything to get back to life and do that thing, even for a single night. He’s consumed by this desire so much that he's oblivious to the people around him, unable to connect to the people he loves, and unable to find joy in anything but his dream. And man, as a young writer who knows in their heart of hearts they can do great things and feels pain at the idea of not doing so, that hits different let me tell you.

The lessons Joe learns from #22 even stick. It turns out that part of what caused Joe’s dream to fail all those time was because of that lack of connection with life. He never presented himself in a way that got people to take notice of him, he never pushed for that position he wanted even though people said no, he never made himself and his life so vibrant that he glowed in the eyes of others (and again, that hits different). That’s maybe the most simplistic message of the bunch, but as a person in the creative field it’s true that sometimes being the smartest person in the room isn’t enough: it’s making himself shine that ultimately clinches Joe the gig even after he almost lost it thanks to the day’s shenanigans.

But in the end, it doesn’t feel like he thought he would.

Remember when I said there are parts where the movie comes perilously close to kiboshing its message? That moment is one, it’s the one. Not that that moment is bad - far from it, it’s the best moment in the entire movie (and you can fight me on that if you want to). It’s because it’s the crossroads, the pin, the core of the entire film: depending on the choice they made after that point, that moment could have either been the best moment in the entire movie, or the moment that toppled everything.

The realization of Joe’s dream doesn’t feel like the explosion of confetti and catharsis that he expected. It was just another moment of his life, a great one, but it’s still just part of his life. So what does Joe do? Does he panic? Does he keep going until it feels good? Does he - as he would in a lesser movie trying to give a cookie cutter aesop - immediately quit and realize he should’ve been teaching all along? No, he does none of those things. He absorbs the moment. He realizes that at the end of the dream you’re still just living life, and that you have to appreciate that. Joe isn’t wrong for pursuit of his dream. He’s not wrong for believing that hopes and dreams make life so much more worthwhile. He’s wrong in thinking that those dreams are all that define us, and that their realization is all that makes people themselves worthwhile at all.

And in the end - though I may be getting a bit too referential for this - the unexamined life is just so much less fulfilling than the alternative.

And all that a message and a half! It hits different. It’s mature as all heck. It’s something people my age (especially in my generation), twice my age, half my age never learn. It’s a callsign that sometimes Pixar is still make movies for the people who were kids way back when Toy Story was released, and are now insecure adults wondering why the world isn’t as wonderful as they saw on the screen. It’s brilliant. I said before that Joe interprets the “Spark” to be one’s purpose in life. The one thing that makes them who they are, that they are on the planet to do. He is wrong, absolutely and utterly. And in that misconception, when #22 finally does get their Spark just from being on Earth and seeing what its life, he accuses them of leeching self-actualization over his own personal ambitions, fully believing that they didn’t find a “purpose" on her own, but just copied his. But the Spark, as it turns out, is just the joy of living, the thing that makes people want to live. It can come from a dream, or just from watching the beauty of the sun set over a leaf drifting in the wind. Only in understanding this can Joe finally understand what he’s been missing in life, only then can he reconcile with #22 and help her finally be born, only then can he walk into the world and know how he’s going to live it.

We never find out what Joe decides, whether he goes back to teaching, or continues with the band. The choice is open to him, but we never find out which one he takes - another choice that keeps the aesop from falling apart. The point of all of that wasn’t that Joe has to do one thing or another to be happy, it was that Joe needs to be happy and secure in himself before he chooses what his life should be. Either of those could make him happy. Neither of those could. But now he’s in a much better place to see it, and do what he can.

We also never find out what #22 is like when she (or he, etc) is born. The two of them never meet past the point where #22 goes to Earth. Their time together has passed, and #22′s life is now their own. And that’s a great choice either. I’ve seen the occasional person feel that the choice made in this paragraph or noted in the previous one made the story confusing, but they’re ultimately what make the story what it is. The answer isn’t the necessity of resolution, its the reaffirmation of the journey. It reminds me somewhat of Wreck-It Ralph (an example of the main Disney Studio delivering a complex aesop, rather Pixar delivering them all), where being a villain wasn’t Ralph’s problem - it was that he wasn’t happy doing the thing he loved. You have to live, from living you will learn, and from learning you will do. The sheer incredible execution of this message (as you may have guessed, it’s a fairly difficult one to relay adequately in a film narrative, and the movie goes non-traditional in conclusion to maintain it) would have made this film a recommend for me even if it wasn't also beautifully animated, very well acted, funny (there’s a Knicks joke that floored me), heartwarming and relatable. But it’s also all of those things, so I have to recommend it twice as much. It is, regrettably, another movie with a black lead where the lead spends most of it transfigured into a form that’s not a black person (a soul, and then a cat), and I’ve already seen some grumbling that instead for much of it a character explicitly coded as a white woman is in his body instead, but I perceive that as an issue that’s endemic to the industry than a fault in this movie specifically. Everyone does that, but this is the only movie I’ve seen where doing that is an essential part of how the narrative develops the characters (Joe has to not be himself in order to understand his life from an outside perspective, a la Scrooge as a ghost watching his own history), and so I don’t scorn the movie for it. I, however, would very much like Hollywood to start doing that less, and - hey - as a prospective writer that’s one of those things I plan to do my part to combat. This movie, however, gets a pass in my book in ways that the general usage of this concept does not. In short, you should see it. If you get the chance to see it right now, you should take it to feel good at the end of this incredibly insane year. If you don’t want to have to sign up for Disney+ to see it now, I get you and understand, but if you get a chance to see it later do not pass it up. It’s one of the few movies I’ve watched that are an instant buy when it becomes available on digital - and the last time a movie did that for me was BlacKKKlansman. Whatever you choose to do, do it well. Keep the spirit alive, always keep searching for the real you - because it’s not always easy to find, but it’s worth looking for - and always remember that you could always have a little soul.

#Soul #film review #Disney Pixar #Pixar #Pete Docter #Jamie Foxx #Tina Fey #the afterlife #self actualization #jazz #curtis mayfield #duke ellington #animated film #animation review #animated minds for animated times #Joe Gardner #22 #recommended

18 notes · View notes

bisexualhobi · 3 years

Note

wait I think I agree not today is really bad but now rank all their title tracks from best to worst pls

lmaoohdksjjdjf i love this question so much anon but due to the fact that i’m me this would get way WAY too long. so i’m doing the top 5 best title tracks and then top 5 worst ones okay? i’m looking at google and apparently they have 26 korean singles so yeah that’s too much.

to rank them as objectively as possible I'm gonna try to take into account gp impact (which is not the same as chart impact since the fandom inflates those numbers), production, creative value (how innovative/different from other pop songs was it?) and the concept of the music video/aesthetic in general.

BTS TITLE TRACKS: TOP 5

5. Black Swan (2020)

am I cheating by putting here a pre release single? maybe. but it would be a disservice to leave this one out so bear with me

⭐gp impact: this song made more noise as a pre release single than the title track. I saw it in at least 3 end of the year editorials for best kpop songs of 2020. and the thing is it could have been WAY bigger but a lot of stuff happened that sadly made it go away too soon. I don't think this one is as famous or recognizable as the others in this list which is why it's going last, but also I think this song is the most underrated gem in bts discography so it's still going here.

⭐production: this song beat out the front runners (I need u, save me, DNA) solely because of its production. there are not a lot of kpop songs out there that manage to pull off what this song does. it's powerful, it's nostalgic, it's a dark and sexy song without being too on the nose. the mixing is SUPERB I remember the first time I heard it I thought "this would blow the fuck up if it was a Travis Scott song" and I will DIE on that hill. this is an example of heavy autotune on a song done right, not like the rest of their super autotuned songs that sometimes come out unrecognizable and empty sounding.

⭐creative value: it's not truly a new concept in pop to make a song about the Death of the Artist. it’s also not something a rookie group can do, this song needed to be released at exactly the time in bts’ career that it was. there’s just no emotional impact if you just sing about how the music makes your hear beat and you’ve been in the industry for,,, 3 years. this is the type of Swan Song you release at the peak of your career, so that really contributes to the message. mixing a trap beat with a ballet motif is GALAXY BRAIN SHIT.

⭐️concept: the ballet influence is just beautifully executed, this song is a beautiful piece of craftsmanship on all fronts. i think they could literally build an entire ALBUM off this concept, so the fact that they jampacked it onto one single song is both amazing and a little sad for me. i wanna hear more of this. i want a literal Black Swan (the darren aranofsky movie) horror concept where the protagonist falls prey to his own madness because he strives for perfection. but yeah, the song itself and the orchestral version just make this a complete golden concept in my book.

4. IDOL (2018).

⭐️gp impact: i think a lot of people that didn’t know anything about kpop vaguely knew about this song when it was released. i know i wasn’t into kpop at all but in my pop culture circle there was a small bleep from this song bc of the concept and the dance. i think it’s a great “embassador of kpop” track, like if you wanna explain to someone with no previous knowledge what kpop is about you can show them a performance of this song.

⭐️production: the production is a little all over the place for me. the instrumentals are amazing and really creative tho, but like in terms of mixing vocals and the structure of it, it might be a little too grating. it’s not the best produced song in ly: answer by any means but it still makes it work

⭐️creative value: the whole hanbok thing is a 10/10. bts weren’t the first ones to do it, but they did it in such a tightly executed way that honestly that “classic korean roots meets the edgy western feel” concept belongs to them now. groups are still recreating it. it’s a really innovative concept in general.

⭐️concept: the music video is,,,, something. you might love it or hate it, but it’s memorable. i think the purposeful way in which they made it as loud and brilliant as possible can be taken either as a camp adjacent or just as the group going nuts with the budget, which props to them. the choreography is also a BIG plus. the south african influence is really well executed and they made sure to do it as cultural appreciation and not appropriation. definitely the most memorable thing from this song is the choreo

3. Run (2015).

⭐️gp impact: this was their second song to have a music show win. it was the lead single from hyyh pt2 and honestly it might be the best song off hyyh as a whole. it cemented bts as not just another kpop group, because it made non fans turn their heads too! from what i gather this really propelled them forward and made the fanbase grow a lot.

⭐️production: hyyh pt2 is super well produced. i feel like this song in particular makes a fine job of mixing the vocals but it’s not outstanding. the best part is the instrumentals. but overall it’s a really good song with amazing lyrics and a great melody.

⭐️creative value: this built off of what they did with pt1 so they were already in a comfortable place, when they found this sound they really explored it well and deep and it works! i’m glad they went this emo pop route because it was a good contrast to what was dominating the charts in kpop in 2015.

⭐️concept: the aesthetic is PERFECT. there’s not a single other thing that i could add or that i wanted gone. it’s the perfect mix of coming of age teen film and heartfelt, dreamy pop. the music video is by no surprises the favorite mv of a lot of the fandom. the cinematography is beautiful and the song and the video perfectly capture that fleeting moment in life when you’re in the brink of adulthood.

2. Mic Drop (2017).

⭐️gp impact: this song was the first bts song to chart on the billboard hot100. back when the fandom had no idea how to chart, mass buy etc. that’s enough said. (personally i think mic drop is the quintessential bts song and their best release so the fact that i’m not putting it first should count as something).

⭐️production: for the purposes of this ranking i’m using the original mic drop and not the steve aoki remix even tho it was the steve remix that was released as the single. the song has the BEST mastering i’ve heard in kpop. the transitions are flawless, the beat is pure fire, the entire first minute is literally the hardest hype rap i’ve heard in kpop. everything about it WORKS.

⭐️creative value: it’s kinda funny how this song got released the same year as kendrick lamar’s humble, because imho it’s the best hiphop song of that year after humble. 2017 was truly the year of the diss tracks. bonus points for including it right after the billboard acceptance speech skit in ly: answer. SUPER refreshing among the ed sheeran type of pop that dominated that year.

⭐️concept: it’s a great concept but not innovative by any means. still, it works and bts managed to exploit it to the max. the choreo, the mv, the styling, everything was amazing!

1. Blood, Sweat & Tears (2016).

⭐️gp impact: it's probably the first song to put bts on the map beyond the kpop sphere. it really set the tone for their 2017. it's one of their most famous and recognizable songs to date.

⭐️production: this song is STUNNINGLY arranged. the mix, the ambience, the progression,,, it's all brought together to make a very well crafted song. it has a distinctive electronic/pop sound to it that still manages to set itself apart from the trend that was going at the time. black swan is probably the closet single they have to this in terms of production.

⭐️creative value: the song itself is very in compliance with the 2015/2016 trend of hype songs with edm influence, (ie. closer, shape of you, cheap thrills, let me love you, something just like this, etc.) but it still packs that punch that makes it sound fresh even for 2021.

⭐️concept: it wasn't the first song to sound like this in kpop ofc but it was the first truly sexy concept for bts. the aesthetic is innovative and very well thought out, the mv is amazing and the choreography too. i read somewhere that j-hope had a lot of input for this choreo so that's amazing. also blond taehyung is literally the best thing to come out of big hit.

WORST BTS TITLE TRACKS

ok so here we go with the worst ones! this is in ascending order as i prepare myself to pick the worst of them all, but please remember this isn’t meant to be mean spirited, i am simply applying the same criteria to their most underwhelming songs but that doesn’t mean they don’t have their own merit! it’s just that out of 26 singles, SOME of them have got to come out at the bottom right?

5. Life Goes On (2020)

⭐gp impact: this song is not memorable with the general public, its #1 on the bb was the product of mass buying and even though it's a feel good song made to comfort fans in the times of pandemic it's still bland and boring. I think it had no music show appearances either, and as far as bts ballads go this is just bottom tier. it’s not that it’s terrible, it’s just very underwhelming

⭐production: the autotune in this song is very poorly executed, it doesn't add to the song the way black swan does for example. it's just off putting and the melody is really forgettable. it's funny bc the chorus is directly pulled from the 2018 reggaeton super hit "La Canción" by J Balvin and Bad bunny lmaooo 💀 so I can't get that out of my head either. the structure is just fine and has nothing of substance

⭐creative value: the song is attempts to be a heartfelt acoustic song but it really has nothing that sets it apart from other songs product of the pandemic like Justin and ariana's stuck with u. for a song in a self produced album it's the song with the least input from the group. the lyrics are good, but they're not as sincere or groundbreaking as for example Spring day.

⭐concept: as a ballad ofc I'm not expecting it to have a grand choreography, and the mv being filmed in their personal dorms to reflect the lockdown is actually a nice touch but besides that there is nothing exciting, innovative or even sincerely comforting about the song and the concept. the greatest thing abt it is the fact that jk directed the video, which is actually pretty good.

4. We are bulletproof pt 2 (2013)

⭐gp impact: this song made no noise back in the day and to this day its just beloved by the fandom due to a sense of nostalgia and "remembering bts' roots". don't get me wrong it's amazing that bts still perform it in the year of our lord 2020 because you can't forget where you came from, but it's not a good or memorable song by any means.

⭐production: I went back to listen to it for this and oh god. I can't remember the mixing being THIS bad. jimin, jin and taehyung sound exceptionally bad, they don't sound like themselves especially jin. it's just a really poorly mastered song, but then again the rest of their debut album isn't far better.

⭐creative value: this is straight up ripping off early 2000s black culture from the US. not only the music, the styling for this era in general is unfortunately really bad and culturally appropriating and overall it's a mess.

⭐concept: there is nothing of substance to be said about this song. it's just really a miss. the mv is terrible, the only thing that can be salvaged from this is the choreography, but besides that the whole thing feels sloppy, rushed and is also kinda cringey.

3. N.O. (2013)

⭐gp impact: no noise. this song was just a really weird pick for their first comeback when attack on bangtan or coffee was right there. not to be mean but no wonder they didn't have a music win this year.

⭐production: it's an objectively bad song. it's just really underwhelming, the whole mixing feels amateur. it's not a good hiphop song and it's not a good vocal arrangement and the chorus is also a rip off of a late 90s American song I can't find right now

⭐creative value: this song isn't innovative in any way, it's just..... there. very meh in general, I have nothing more to say about it

⭐concept: the storyline kinda wants to go somewhere with the music video but it doesn't manage to make a connection. the styling is plain, simple and not flattering at all. it tries to make a protest of the Korean school system but it doesn't say anything beyond "school bad" which we already knew

2. Not Today (2017)

⭐gp impact: its a very middle of the list song for a lot of the fandom. I literally know of no one that claims this as their favorite mv/era/song. when you ask people about their least favorite bts songs they won't mention this one either, you know why? because it's that irrelevant. it had no music show wins either. it's precisely because of this why I put it so high up on the list. there's nothing worse than an unmemorable song, if it was widely hated then at least that would be a response.

⭐production: it's a really mediocre song in terms of structure and melody. it tried to be hype but it falls short. the chorus feels half finished and the message of the song is just “the revolution has begun”? which okay? but it adds nothing to the You never walk alone album either.

⭐creative value: there is nothing exciting about this song, and the chorus is too grating. the rhythm is repetitive and nothing new either in kpop or pop in general.

⭐concept: sadly there's not a lot to be said for the song. it says nothing of value and what it says falls flat. there's no innovation. you can actually see a lot of idol in this song, and also ON. those two songs are what this one tried to be but failed.

1. War of Hormone (2014)

⭐gp impact: thankfully none. this song got the treatment it deserved, if they had won a music show for this one it would feel tainted lol. now it's just a meme in the fandom but overall it made zero noise and contributed nothing to bts' evolution

⭐production: the production is very lazy, which is odd because dark & wild has some pretty tight tracks. but this one is just meh, nothing outstanding and the melody is just annoying

⭐creative value: this is a song that was probably born out of the desperation to have a gp friendly hit. it tries really hard to replicate an outdated idea of what boy bands should be, and it does it badly. simply put this song is very mediocre and misogynistic and the fact that it's a running gag in the fandom that "feminism isn't important when war of hormone comes on" isn't funny and it's actually cringe. please stop

⭐concept: the styling is so ugly :( the mv is very low budget which isn't surprising but they managed to make more with less in past releases. it's just embarrassing and I wish this song didn't exist, there's a reason why they never play it anymore lol. overall a dark mistake in bts' career

#asks #long post//#song analysis #bts

7 notes · View notes

fmdminhee · 3 years

Photo

task. #famedrstask1.

notes: word counts are included with each individual answer! completed for +5 tracker points.

assuming your muse has changed in some way, be it internally or as a result of a change of the external factors around them, how is your muse different? these can be as small as an opinion on a song they hadn’t released previously or as big as a major change in their background. word count: 261.

minhee’s childhood prior to becoming a trainee is pretty much the exact same as before the restructuring. dance prodigy says fuck u crazy dance mom, i’m not gonna be maddie ziegler, and ends up becoming an idol. she started training a year earlier than before though, so she had a slightly longer training process! i think the most obvious change to everyone else is her faceclaim, which is now lee hyeri. buuuut if you take a look at her pages or app or anything else, you’ll see that she’s now a main dancer, lead vocal & rapper, rather than being a main dancer, lead rapper & vocal! this was sort of a selfish change on my part, because i wanted to open her up to some opportunities for solo work that wouldn’t have suited her before because of her position, but that would’ve fitted more along the lines of what i initially imagined for her image than the options actually available to her. she’s also been a lot happier for a lot longer, because instead of debuting with a concept she hated, minhee got to debut in ... an age appropriate group! if you look here, you can see some examples of what i thought of when thinking of minhee’s ideal group and ... yeah, lily lines up with that pretty well. not perfectly, but pretty well. she’s still dealing with her issues surrounding her family, her sexuality and her fear of aging, but for the most part, minhee’s a lot more settled, or even satisfied, in terms of her career.

what does your muse think of their company and their group? word count: 255.

let’s start with lily, minhee’s beloved. she loves her members, she loves the overwhelming majority of their songs, and she’s proud as hell of the legacy they’ve built up for themselves so far. to be honest, sometimes she it just hits her that oh shit, she’s minnie from lily! and oh shit, they’re basically the biggest girl group ever. no one tell her that candy inherited nation’s girl group or that ultraviolet are taking over the world, let her be dumb. no, but genuinely, she can’t believe the scale of what they’ve achieved sometimes. she doesn’t totally feel like she deserves all the love she gets. then there’s the company behind it all; bc entertainment. she wonders all the time if her mother would’ve went along with everything if it was any other company that minhee came home with a callback from. probably not. for that alone, she’s thankful. she sort of dislikes being portrayed as perfect and untouchable -- more silly and down to earth than a lot of her peers under the company, but still. it’s just part and parcel of bc’s status. the reason it gets to her is that she’s very much not that perfect girl next door that the company wants her to be, and she puts a lot of pressure on herself to live up to it. as such, minhee probably doesn’t take advantage of all of the resources being under bc allows her access to as much as she should, choosing instead to just grin and bear it.

is your muse on their first contract or their second? if they’ve renewed, what were their feelings around that at the time and what were their hopes for their second contract? if they haven’t renewed, what are their current thoughts on the end of their eventual first contract? word count: 260.

minhee is on her second contract. she renewed with bc in 2019 for a further seven years, which doesn’t feel like that long of a time. seven years seemed like a liftetime when she signed her debut contract in 2012, but it went by pretty fast for her. finding out what the rest of her members were doing was the most important thing for minhee when choosing whether or not to renew. with lily’s status in the industry, the money she made over the previous years, and the wealth belonging to her family, she felt confident that she’d be okay no matter what happened. a safety net. but her preference was always going to be to continue with the rest of lily if possible. she wouldn’t have forced the issue if the others didn’t want to though ... at least not on purpose. knowing minhee, she probably would’ve been crying all over the place and ended up messing with everyone’s plans like that. maybe she would’ve put out an ad like, “nation’s girl group in search of new agency. must be willing to take in four fully grown women and meet all of their demands.” as for the terms in her second contract, minhee was looking for some more royalties and some reassurance that lily would continue to receive the levels of resources and investment that they were already receiving from the company, as well as more opportunities for her to grow as a soloist. she didn’t want them falling by the wayside. she’s too young to be washed up!

what are your muse’s goals and motivations? word count: 259.

in terms of her career, minhee actually has some pretty lofty ambitions. her top two focuses are solo music and modeling, and they’re basically split an even 50/50. she wants to continue releasing upbeat solo songs, but as for the music itself, aside from some dabbling in lyrics, she’s happy to leave it to the professionals. her primary interest, aside from the obvious performance and promotion aspects, lies in developing her own choreography. for her own songs firstly, but also for lily’s songs, and maybe even others within the company. outside of bc remains to be seen. she’s been really inspired over the years by a lot of the dancers and choreographers that she’s worked with, even from before entering bc, and she’d like to inspire someone else some day too! and modeling ... i can’t lie, minhee just likes looking pretty and getting free stuff, so she’d like to do some more of that.

as for her personal life ... messy as hell! she still really wants to find love but still only goes looking for it with fuckboys. she wants to get closer with her dad and her extended family, but is finding it difficult to pull off while also keeping her mother at arm’s length. she also can’t help antagonising her mother because she’s a dumb brat. i don’t think minhee realises it yet, but she’s slowly coming to a place of self acceptance too. when she does realise it, i think that’s something that will really motivate her to be the best she can be.

what is one conflict, internal or external, that your muse is currently dealing with, has recently dealt with, or will need to deal with in the future? word count: 262.

i’ve talked in depth about minhee’s conflict over her sexuality here, which all still holds true, but i want to take this opportunity to talk about something else very close to my heart concerning minhee that i’ve mentioned once or twice in passing but never explicitly. minhee is autistic. she just doesn’t know it yet. some fun mun trivia is that i’m autistic! but, as is typical for a lot of afab people, i was basically an adult by the time it was diagnosed. you might say, hey sucy, stop projecting on your muses, but i say no! write what you know and all that. it’s kind of ironic though, because not even i realised minhee could very well be autistic until i’d written her for two years, and deciding took me another. and now she has to go through the diagnostic process again in character, smh me. anyways, yeah, minhee is probably going to have it suggested to her pretty soon while seeking some help for her anxiety about aging, and after that she’s gonna have to recontextualise her whole life because it’s truly like a lightbulb moment for a lot of people, myself included. suddenly everything that was weird to you growing up makes sense. it’s kind of a lot to wrap your head around, and would be for anyone, so writing about that for minhee is going to be interesting. i mentioned above that she’s been kind of moving towards self acceptance anyways, and i think this will be a very big turning point for her on that journey.

if your muse has established career claims, what are their thoughts on their career so far? if they do not, how do they feel about not having individual activities yet? what would they like to do in the future, if anything? if they don’t have ambitions for individual activities, explain why. word count: 277.

she does! her individual activities consist of modeling jobs and a couple of variety show cast positions, because i felt that these were the avenues she would’ve been pushed down up until more recently in her career, when her interest in choreographing for herself would’ve really taken off. minhee has really enjoyed her career so far. she feels settled within the entertainment industry, and that type of security is so sexy to her. the less chance that her mother can say i told you so the better.it’s kind of a big difference for her in terms of character actually, but this incarnation of minhee likes being on variety shows! she’s actually confident appearing on them! this is because of the difference in concept between lily and lipstick. lipstick’s minnie’s confidence took a long time to build up. lily’s minnie’s didn’t. she’d like to be on more variety shows in the future, especially something competition based, like dancing with the stars ... or masterchef, for a laugh, because she’d be the first person eliminated. and then, there’s the modeling. as mentioned a couple of questions ago, it’s something she wants to focus pretty tightly on going forward. her favourite brand that she’s been the ambassador for so far is crocs. she loves her crocs. she has, like, five different colours. crocs, please sign minhee again. working with etude house and kloud was pretty cool too though. sometimes she’s still able to swing free beers when she goes out. so, going forward, she wants to continue with those types of gigs, as well as pursuing more solo music and developing her skills as a choreographer, like i mentioned earlier!

#famedrstask1 #yes i did this instead of getting dowoon's intro ready!!! but ... now i'll go do that please love my silly middle child's changelog!!#yep . minhee's now the middle child of my kids that's crazy

3 notes · View notes

captainshazamerica · 3 years

Note

If this Bruce doesn't adopt Tim I will! But I'm kinda scared for Tim I mean he's either gonna end up with Buce or the titans at some point, im afraid that something terrible is gonna happen his family and then titans/bruce takes him in? That boy loves batman and robin so much like even his family seeing the news knew how much it would upset him although I will say that for the brain that kid has he makes some pretty stupid decisions, hes driving around GOTHAM plastered in the bat-symbol that's not a good idea! the amount of lunatics that roam free in Gotham (and possibly have escaped from arkham) and hate the bat and hes driving around with the bat symbol on him KID be careful!

Some kind of Anti-fear toxin does seem more accurate cuz he's clearly taking something to not be afraid. Maybe it's something he found in Gotham and decided to try it and got addicted so he's using that lab place to try recreate it? and maybe he can't recreate it perfectly cuz in the crowbarring scene he seemed kinda anxious about his surroundings and he'd just taken that inhaler thing to overcome fear so I dunno?? Or maybe he went to arkham to see Crane for some reason and Crane has orchestrated the whole thing and told him about the drug but then wouldn't Crane have to know everyone's identity then? Dude I dunno I need more episodes even tho the low quality glitchyness is painful lol

There's probably an abundance of rooms to choose from at Wayne manor yet Jason takes Dicks old room and keeps the flying graysons posters up! I like to think that he does view dick as an older brother and just took his room to kind of have a connection to him and that he admires him hence the graysons posters being left up, yooo dick calling him his brother! I really want a nice family reunion with dick jason and bruce 💕

Babs was too mean to bruce when she went off like I get where she's coming from but yo lady his son just died dial it down like a notch yikes but also babs being like 'i wonder how long it'll take for bruce to replace jason and dick is all 'what no the last thing bruce is gonna do is rope another kid into this mess'. Cut to scene of Bruces potential robin folder 😅 but I also like that dick was trying to be considerate and compose himself for bruce but once he found out that bruce is idiot enough to pull another kid into this, that that's when he got mad and bruce so brokenly begging dick to come back and be robin 😢😢😢

I know the show is constantly trying to push bruce out/sideline him cuz it's a titans show not a bruce wayne show and I know they're going for a different portrayal of bruce which I'm not complaining about I do like this version of bruce (more than I thought actually) and this universe but I feel like they could have gave more cracks you know, I like that they showed him trying to avoid the reality of jasons death and just not stopping not even for a second and just immediately jump into another case and that breakdown verge where he's begging dick to be robin and then when he finally I guess let's the weight of jasons loss sit on him to the point where he whacks in jokers head with a crowbar just like he killed jason (he could have killed joker so many other ways like a less violent bullet to the head but oh no brucey crowbars him to death!!)

There's a lot of character stuff that i do like but that scene where he's in the cave on his knees scrubbing his sons blood out of the suit he died in, the suit that he only ever wore because of batman. 😢 I feel like they could have had him crack there and let out a gut wrenching scream and then just continue on doing what he was doing as if nothing happened and dick walking in on that should have had more of a reaction!? like he could have stopped in his tracks at the sight of his brothers blood all over his father and bruce screaming, dick could have like took a step back almost like he's gonna run but forces himself to stay there, because who wouldn't want to run from that and no matter how much horrible things you've dealt with before sometimes your brain does just take over against your will and makes you react, the rest of the scene just could have played out the way it did. Literally one ounce more emotion is all I wanted.

No one really emotionally cracked at jasons death. I get that it just happened and that people put walls up and denial can be such a prominent thing when a loved one dies but it couldn't have been that difficult to put in little mannerisms now and again to show that everyone is deeply hurt but holding it in. Honestly gar seemed more hurt to me than dick did. But I do like that dick reacted in detective mode and started trying to figure things out from jasons side so at least there's that.

This redhood is defo not an anti hero he has well and truly landslided into villian territory and I dunno how that's gonna be reconciled? they better not kill him off! and they better not just straight up keep redhood/jason as a full on villian! but if they do get through to jason and bring him back a little how the heck is that little man gonna deal with what he did to Hank?? I feel like they had a bond you know and for all Hanks talk about putting Jason down I really don't think that Hank would actually have killed him even if it came down to Hanks life vs Jasons I think Hank would rather die than kill Jason (but that's heavily biased cuz in my mind jason is my son and I freaking love hank sooo) but Hank to me puts on a hard front like 'yeah I'll get in your face I'll come at you b*tch' but internally he's like 'yeah I'll come at you to help you' 😅 like internally he defo has a lot of soft spots though that's not to say he'd be like this for someone like the joker or scarecrow or whatever guys like that he'd be like no screw you you die or go to arkham like byeee

Nevermind how jason is gonna come back from this though HOW IN THE ACTUAL SH*T is dawn gonna come back from this!!?!!

Random side note here but imagine Jasons first time in the batcave he would be so excited and trying to mess with everything and being like ohh what's that do and pressing random buttons and bruce having a hernia trying to get jason to stop before he accidentally blows the cave up 😅 also he has probably been caught several times trying to 'borrow' the batmobile, I can just picture him trying to sneak down the halls of the manor without the floor creaking and making it all the way into the cave and doing a victory dance cuz he didn't get caught and he hops on into the batmobile in his pj's and let's out a scream cuz alfred is sitting in the freakin passenger seat waiting for him and then they just hang out in the batmobile alfred had the good foresight to bring a flask of tea books and a blanket for jason

Speaking of Alfred I think it would have been more angsty and hurtful if Alfred died shortly after Jason and after a few days Jason claws his way out his grave and the first thing he sees is Alfreds headstone and that's how he finds out Alfred died : (((

This is so long girl I'm sorry I know it doesn't seem like it but I did restrain myself 😅 one more thing before I go maybe this Dick is the absolute worst mf and the reason babs feels betrayed by him and is so upset with him could be that he left her (or cheated on her) with Dawn cuz of that weird flashback thingy in the other season where dick dawn was a thing I dunno I hope not though that would be ughhh

Oh crap, you right about probably something bad will happen to Tim for Bruce or Titans to take him in, I was gonna say he could just demand to be in their lives to save Bruce/Dick like in the comics but he also has kinda shitty parents normally and these people seem cool so really it could go either direction, but like it’s Titans so it doesn’t look good lol. Also, I wonder if it’s gonna be Dick who is basically gonna adopt him this time since we already had a huge track record in just 2 seasons lmao. But I know right, true I like how his parents knew immediately how much the news would effect him 😭 I hope he goes down the making himself robin and forcing himself in Dick and Bruce’s life xD I love that route. Lmao, the kid is all book smart, very little street smart when it doesn’t have to do with outsmarting someone XD

I was also rewatching and that gas he takes def has to be some anti fear toxin cause he mentions fear so many times and flash backed to his near death fall, which he felt was probably holding him and back and thus had to prove himself and adds to whatever is influencing him. But ohhh he did seem pretty dang anxious at the carnival grounds, that’s a really interesting theory but recreating something he found hmm, I can see that.

Apparently according to a YouTube who got to see the first 5 episodes, we find out what his deal is a lot more in episode 5, so one more week hopefully

Brooo trueee, I couldn’t believe jason took dick’s room and like didn’t even change anything. Like Jason looks or at least use to look up to Dick SO much, like in his first episode in the first season, he went on quite a lot about how much he had always wanted to meet him and how much he looked up to him, which is probably also fueling his red hood rage, being hurt by your idol and brother like he did in S2 must have really just killed the boy. But yes omg, there freaking better be a dang family reunion scene like, after so much angst we deserve that 😭

And yesss, I loved seeing how mature Dick is getting and just how much he is growing as a character, the fact he was so calm and considerate with Bruce at first really shows that compared to s1 Dick, only breaking when Bruce tried to get more kids involved. That scene by Brenton was sooo well acted omg, the way he yelled that he doesn’t want to robin again, heartbreaking man. And Bruce begging like that omg

Yeah, this version of Bruce is def so different than any Bruce we have seen on screen before, like def the most emotionally constipated, and that’s saying something xD But I like how they are taking a risk, it also helps Dick’s character more and give him more of an arc, as he seems to be taking on Bruce’s normal role with Jason and red hood. Bro, you are so right omg, like the fact Bruce could have killed the joker in any way and he does it with the dang crowbar. It really shows how broken he really was and why the man shouldn’t depressing any and every damn feeling and emotion lol.

Omg, I love how you have the exact details of what you wanted to happen in that one Bruce and Dick scene 😂👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 bro if you dont already you should totally write fanfics cause that was so detailed, I love it

Yeah, I do wish someone cracked (other than Bruce lmao) a bit more, but I do think each character reacted in character though, like it is very Dick(at least this version of Dick, other versions may break down tbh) to put everything into solving the case and figuring out what was up, that’s more this version’s way of caring than just breaking down, like he rarely ever has broken down completely. I think dawn could have been a little more emotional about the death (tho she has enough coming for her lmao). Connor didn’t know Jason that well so it makes sense he would just be sad. Gar seemed pretty sad and in character about it, maybe could have had a bit more, same with Kori, tho she showed it by being almost angry and fiercely protective of everyone else, so I think that makes sense for her. It would have been interesting to see how Rachel and Rose would have reacted though (where did rose go btw?! She would so have a reaction to Jason’s death). But yeah, i wish there was more resolution and break downs for Jason, but also it may have just not felt real since they weren’t there? But I agree

You think? Idk, I think they could def still make him an anti hero towards the end, especially if it’s crane behind the whole thing. Cause if they don’t they are gonna have to go down the gosh awful overused villain gets redeemed while he dies/only to die right freaking after , and I will be so freaking livid if they do that omg. Like they better freaking not. But true, he would be broken by what he did to Hank, oh yikes. But I can see him then that leading to the anti hero path, like he would never go back to be on the titans cause he would feel too guilty, thus giving more of a reason for the anti hero life. But I know, I loved Jason and Hank’s love hate relationship 😭😭😭😭 You know Hank secretly loved the kid and probably saw himself in him.

Yikes poor dawn, you right. Like I have no idea how she is gonna be now like wow.

OMG GIRL, You are on a hc angst train today!!!! That scenario of Alfred dying right after jason and Jason climbing out to see Alfred’s?! Heartbreaking!

But I can’t believe they killed Alfred off so casually tho😭

Omg I swear if they freaking show Dick having cheated on Babs I will be so freaking pissed omg, he better have not! Im hoping they had a more high school romance thing/grew up together then got together type of thing

And omg don’t apologize I LOVED IT and reading your asks!!! I feel ya too!

#batanon #titans #titans spoilers #Titans S3 #titans season 3 #Titans speculation #speculation #ask #Meredith gets an ask #Jason Todd #dick Grayson #Meredith thoughts

5 notes · View notes

vgckwb · 3 years

Text

ML: Isolation Chapter 20: Real Emotions

Adrien spent the next three days splitting time between his friends, his extracurriculars, and taking on a few more Noir Notes requests. While a lot of them were simple and easy to just talk through, some of them were challenging. However, they weren’t so challenging for Adrien who was pretty physically adept to handle some strenuous activity.

However, on Wednesday after fencing, Adrien took a look and saw a rather odd request on Noir Notes. “What’s this?”

“Hi there, Mr. Cat Noir. Before you read this message, I must assure you that I am perfectly safe. Now, I would like your assistance. You see, my friend is preventing me from seeing his other friends again, or even from leaving the house. I miss his friends. He says I can’t visit them anymore because ‘they aren’t ready’, but I have evidence that suggests otherwise. Please come to the following latitude and longitude to help: …”

Adrin looked this over. No matter how many times he read it, he was still confused. So he figured the easiest way to solve this would be by doing as the message said. He changed into his disguise and went off, using his phone to get the precise coordinates.

Adrien looked around once he got there, but nothing stood out to him. On a whim, he checked Noir Notes again. He saw a new message. “Ah, you’re here. Perfect. Now, from where you are currently, turn to your left.” Adrien did and continued reading. “Look in the windows. When you see a claw waving at you, go to that house.” Adrin looked. He found the aforementioned claw and headed over.

Adrien knocked on the door. He was completely flabbergasted to see his new friend and classmate Max answer the door. Max was equally surprised. “Cat Noir? What are you doing here?”

“Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh” Adrien said. Again, he felt like the best course of action was to be direct. “I got this odd message on Noir Notes.” He presented it to Max. “I just wanted to follow up on it, due to the confusing nature.”

Max looked at the message. “Oh, son of a bitch” he said. He sighed. “Fine. Come in, I guess.” He handed the phone back to Adrien, who was still thoroughly confused. They walked to Max’s room. “Markov! Why did you post something to Noir Notes? Now Cat Noir is here.”

Markov, a floating robotic orb, popped out from the woodwork. “Because I WANTED him to show up. I asked him for help, and he’s here!”

“Are you that starved for attention?” Max asked.

“Max, don’t get me wrong, you’re amazing, but…” Markov began.

Max sighed. “I’m sorry.” He said down.

“Uh, so…” Adrien said, interrupting. “You posted on Noir Notes?”

Markov turned to him. “Why yes. I am Markov” he said, waving the claw Adrien saw beforehand. “And this right here is my best friend, Max.” Max waved half-heartedly.

“Well, I guess that explains a few things,” Adrien said. He pulled up a chair and sat backwards in it.

“I just… I kind of wish you would have told me beforehand” Max said, rubbing his head.

“Why?” Markov asked. “You would have said ‘no’. Besides, I made my own account, and hid any trace of you.”

“Except that I live near the coordinates you posted.”

Markov processed a little bit. “Deleted.”

Max grinned but was still a bit upset. “Well, I guess that’s fine.”

“So, let’s just get everything on the table,” Adrien said. “Markov, you are a robot created by Max?”

“Well, technically, I’m an A.I.” Markov said. “I can inhabit any robotic form, so long as my chip is there.”

“I see,” Adrien said. “And you want to meet with Max’s friends again.”

“Correct!” Markov answered.

Adrien pondered for a second. “What happened the first time you met them?”

“Ah, how astute,” Markov said.

“Not really,” Max said. “You did say ‘again’.”

“Well, what had happened was,” Markov began to explain, ignoring Max, “one day there was a virus overtaking the school’s computers. Max offered to help, and I helped Max. With our combined efforts, we put an end to that pesky virus.”

“Wow,” Cat Noir said.

Markov turned grim. “Afterwards, Max introduced me to everyone. It was a nice little celebration. However, Ms. Mandeleiev thought of me as nothing but a toy, and said I needed to be put away.”

That tracks Adrien thought to himself.

“However, someone tried to argue that I wasn’t just a toy,” Markov continued. “They went to the principal’s office, where I was taken, and told the principal that I belonged. However, the principal wouldn’t listen.”

“Why not?” Adrien asked.

“Because” Max explained, exacerbated, “that person was only interested in making fun of me…”

Adrien was concerned. “Allow me to elaborate,” Markov said. “The person who wished to see me come back to class was a girl named Marinette.” Adrien was shocked, but not surprised. “Max tells me that she is a bully. Or at least became one after she grew jealous of another girl named Lila. Because she was the one who wanted to rescue me, Max is now more ashamed of me than ever,”

“I’m not… ashamed…” Max tried to protest.

“Hmmmm” Adrien said, thinking. “I think I have a solution.”

“You do?” Max and Markov said at the same time.

Adrien nodded. “Believe it or not, this is not the first time I’ve heard about this Marinette person. Now, correct me if I’m wrong, but she no longer goes to school with you, correct?”

“Correct…” Max said, disheartened.

“Well then there should be no problem, right?” Adrien concluded. Max and Markov were confused. “If you were worried that Marinette would bully you, she's not there anymore. She can’t bully where she isn’t.”

“He does make an excellent point,” Markov pointed out.

Max continued to hold firm. He then let out a sigh of desperation. “Can I be honest?”

“I’d prefer it that way,” Adrien retorted.

Max rolled his eyes. He got serious once more. “...As much as Marinette bullied Lila, I don’t think she actually stole Lila’s necklace.”

“Huh” Adrien replied.

“And I think it’s only a matter of time before the school figures it out and reinstates her as a class member” Max said.

“I will say, I disagree with Max’s assessment a little bit,” Markov said. “I think it seems odd that the person who would so valiantly try to save me would also have such a notorious mean-streak” Markov pondered.

“It’s just…” Max began. “I’m not sure what will happen if and when Marinette comes back and I have Markov. I don’t want her to pick up where she left off.”

“If she was leaving off there to begin with” Markov corrected.

Adrien had to think. He knew Marinette wouldn’t do such a thing, but he could also understand Max’s point of view. Max was unsure after failure last time. However, being unsure was a place Adrien was familiar with.

Adrien smiled. “I’m going to let you in on a secret,” Adrien said. “As Cat Noir, I have access to all kinds of information. That information led me to a possible lead on a missing item. On Friday, I’m going to pull out all the stops to find it. The thing is, I’m unsure if this plan will work, or even if I’ll find it.”

Max was curious. “Huh? But how can you go through with it?”

“Faith,” Adrien said. “I believe in my plan, and that I’ll find it. Come what may, you have to be bold enough to try. Otherwise you’ll end up going nowhere.”

Max had to let that sink in for a bit. Markov was puzzled. “So, what does that mean?”

“It means he wants me to bring you in regardless of Marinette,” Max said. He sighed.

“Do you not want to otherwise?” Adrien asked.

“Of course I want to!” Max yelled. “It’s just… Last time was a mess. I don’t know what will happen and I don’t like that.”

“Max…” Markov said.

Adrien tilted his head slightly. “Did you know what Markov was going to be like when you created him?”

Max looked at him. “Well, no…”

“And do you think that turned out alright?” Adrien continued.

Markov looked at Max, awaiting his response. Max smiled. “Well, in all honesty, he’s better than I could have imagined.” Markov lit up. “I have no regrets in his creation, or his continuing friendship.”

“Max!” Markov squeed.

“I think that’s your answer” Adrien said

Max smiled. “Thanks Cat Noir. I guess my head was clouded by everything else going on. Because of this talk, I remembered working away on Markov; Always worried about what was going to happen, but always saying to myself this is something I need to do.” Max turned to Markov. “Thank you too Markov.”

“Me?” Markov said, surprised.

Max nodded. “If you hadn’t contacted Cat Noir, I would probably still be in my own head about this. You saw that something was bothering me, and did what you could to help.” Max reached out his hand. “That’s what a true friend does.”

Markov was still confused, though shook his hand. “Well, truthfully, I just did it for my own reasons. I don’t think I should get credit here.”

“Well, I guess that’s part of what makes you human,” Adrien said. “While it’s true that acting in one’s own self-interest all the time is cause for concern, people indulge themselves all the time. So long as it doesn’t hurt anyone, it’s fine. And sometimes it could be helpful.”

Markov looked at him. “You sound like you’re speaking from experience.”

“What can I say? I’m only human” Adrien responded. I mean, I did don this getup as a way to start a conversation with my fashion idol, and now it’s turned into me helping people.

Max thought about something. “Maybe I can negotiate with the school about bringing you in.”

Markov looked at him. “And what will you do if the school says no?”

Max smiled. “Well, we can always meet outside of school.”

“Max,” Markov said.

“Well, it sounds like my work here is done” Adrien said.

Max nodded. “Thank you Cat Noir.” Adrien began to leave, but was caught slightly off-guard by what Max told Markov next. “Oh right. There’s a new student in my class. I’d love for you to meet him.”

“What’s his name?” Markov asked.

“Adrien. Adrien Agreste” Max answered.

“The fashion model?” Markov responded.

“The same,” Max confirmed.

“Wow” Markov awed.

Max continued. “And he’s actually a really cool guy. I know you’ll love him because everyone loves him.” Adrien blushed and quickly left before he could overhear more of that conversation.

Once he got home, he went to his computer and messaged Marinette. “So, apparently you have another admirer out there.”

“Well of course. A lot of people admire Ladybug.”

“I mean someone admires you as Marinette.”

“Really?” Marinette asked. “What kind of person would admire me at this point?”

“They aren’t a person, but they will tell you they aren’t a toy.”

“...Wait, Markov? Max’s little robot buddy? You met with him?”

“Yup. The little guy posted on Noir Notes, and he, Max, and I had a bit of a heart-to-heart.”

“What happened?”

“Well, Markov wanted to meet with Max’s friends again, but Max was hesitant. He was nervous people would make fun of him.”

“What made him think that?”

“...Well, it’s kind of a mixed bag. See, while Markov thinks of you as valiant for trying to save him from Principal Damocles, Max is worried that you only did that to make fun of him.”

“But I’m not there anymore. Why would that worry him?”

“See, there’s the silver lining. Max believes that you didn’t take Lila’s necklace. His concern comes from the idea that the school will learn that truth and reinstate you.”

“Huh… That is something I guess…”

“Yeah…”

“...”

“Hey, it's OK. We’re going to get through this.”

“...Yeah. You know, it’s crazy. I never used to believe that. I used to believe my place was in the shadows. But you showing up out of nowhere, and doing all this, and telling me things will be alright… It kind of brought back my faith in that…”

“That’s all I could ask for.” Adrien saw another message pop up. “Uh, I’m getting another message. You wanna hang on for a bit?”

“It’s fine. I have a message as well.”

“Great. Thank you.” Adrien switched over to the other message.

It was from Chloe. It was short, but very demanding. “Adrien. My house. After school. Tomorrow.”

“Huh” Adrien said to himself before responding “OK.”

Meanwhile, Marinette got a message from Kagami. “Hey, can I come over tomorrow and pick up my stuff? You do have it, right?”

Marinette giggled to herself. “Of course I have it. Ladybug is a designer of her word. Stop on by tomorrow.”

“Thanks,” Kagami answered.

“No problem.” Marinette switched back to talking with Adrien. “That was Kagami. She wanted to come pick her stuff up tomorrow.”

Chloe messaged me. She wanted to meet with me tomorrow as well.”

“I see. Do you think she’s nervous about Friday?”

“Maybe. I know I am. I’m going to have to talk to Lila for a whole evening.”

Mariette chuckled to herself. “Be serious.”

“Yeah… It’s a lot. But I think we can pull it off.”

“...Me too. Good night Adrien.”

“Good night Marinette.”

They both logged off. Adrien laid down on his bed. He did wonder what Chloe wanted to discuss. However, those thoughts drifted away, as him laying down brought him to him and Marinette lying on the grass staring at the sky together. He went back to that every night going to be since then, and it helped him fall asleep.

#miraculous ladybug #miraculous ladybug fanfic #adrien #markov #MAX #Marinette #Chloé #kagami #no kwami #NICE GABRIEL

5 notes · View notes

midnight-at-wallmart · 4 years

Text

Stage Name: Mimi

Genre: Underground Rapper Joon / Underground Rapper Yoongi / Non-Idol AU

Pairing: Namjoon x Reader/ Yoongi x Reader

Word count: 4.6k

Rating: 18+

Summary: Kim Namjoon a.k.a Rap Monster, drops a new mixtape which includes a particularly interesting verse: "Is your name Mimi shawty?". Though completely unintentional, the real Mimi, an underground rapper like him and Yoongi, thinks it's a jab taken at her. What happens when the two meet?

CHAPTER 1

TW: alc*hol, mentions of physical violence

Hypothesis 1: The place in which two people meet is a reflection of their future.

This chapter shall prove that.

It is hard to move freely when all you can think about is how everyone seems to watch you. Everyone is putting it mildly. It feels like everything is watching you. Even the tall glass giants that tower over the streets are anticipating what your next move is. What are you going to do? Where are you going to go? It’s hard to even walk straight at this point. It feels like the alleyways are mixing up between your feet and suddenly, as you look around, you can’t recognize where you are. How did you get here? What led you astray? But it’s futile to stop at this point, so far in your journey towards your goal. So, you keep walking, so much that your legs are giving up under you and your lungs are burning up, your throat is begging for water and your head is dizzy. Your vision is blurry, stumbling around with your hands in front of you, hoping to stay stable, head is spinning with the want of rest and for everything to just stop. But it’s impossible at this point. You’re in this journey way too deep to just stop now, not when all that you want is right in front of you. Dangling, as if to challenge you to walk just a bit further. But can you? Can you get your feet to listen to you? Can you pick yourself up and go further? Is it worth risking everything you have just to get that one thing that will supposedly make you happy?

Seoul sings. In the daytime, it's too hard to notice what a beautiful symphony this city makes, the bustling and the huge crowds that trample the concrete underneath their feet on their way to work or school drowns, without a doubt, the song that this city sings. If you want to find the true rhythm of a city, you have to listen after the daylight creatures go home for the day, and the night ones come out. That is when you can really hear, what Seoul has to offer. Its inhabitants are active members in this continuous, never-ending concert, even though they don't realize it. They manage to execute it perfectly every single time. Everyone knows their tempo and notes, the place where they're supposed to be. Sounds of bottles opening, glass shattering, the base in speakers, lighter sparks, whimpers of pleasure, secrets told around the corner, you name it. They come together to make the most beautiful sound, and it's done perfectly every single time. And Lord, it's loud. The absolute sensory overload that the night brings pales in comparison to the one that the day brings. You can't compare the rushed, uncoordinated and rather selfish song that the day brings to the powerful, sometimes vicious and thrilling song of the night. The night keeps you on your toes, makes the hairs on your skin stand up, makes you skittish and aware of yourself so much more than what you're used to. Makes you feel watched...how tiring. This concert...it's tiring. You have to take a part in this and make the show reach it's end when the sun goes up, you can't just leave. You must see this thru. You want to see this thru. Even though, all you would want to do right now is close your eyes and drift off to sleep. Either way, it’s impossible to sleep in Seoul.

How could you, when everything is too bright, too loud, and too good.

"I'm so tired." Yoongi said, while yawning and stretching his arms behind his back.

11 PM in a empty parking lot underneath a shopping center. Namjoon's and Yoongi's favorite spot to talk things thru before a show. After the mall workers go home when their shifts are done, this place is practically desolate of any human contact, with the exception a few cars here and there that sometimes stop, but never for too long. Why would anyone want to sit here anyway? It looks haunted. The smell of wet concrete is horrid and coats your throat, a few light water drops from one of the broken mall pipes make a pretty beat that Namjoon thought would record and use in a song one day. But the absolute worst part is the flickering of the also broken, neon lights on the ceiling. They were so so bright, giving a light blue hue to the puddles of water on the ground. As a testament to just how grimy this parking lot is, this type of lights are most definitely old, not only is the sterile-like color giving it away, but also the intensity. None of the newer buildings in South Korea have these type of neon’s anymore, they take too much energy and are not kind to the eyes. Namjoon couldn't stand them, and neither could Yoongi. Especially Yoongi, since his idea of a perfect day is sitting in a secluded music studio with barely any lights on and as little human contact as possible. Namjoon knows this, because he had to drag him out of the studio to eat more times than Yoongi will ever admit in his life. Even so, this was their spot. This, is where things were taking shape, where they made plans for the future, where they shared lyrics or beats, where ideas were made and remade and so on...They’re creatures of the night, even though they probably don’t realize it.

But right now, it was a place to drink sort of warm beer before a show to calm your nerves.

"Drink some more, maybe it will help." Namjoon said dismissively, while taking another swing from the beer. But underneath that the devil may care attitude, Namjoon was feeling awful. To say that he was feeling overwhelmed right now would be an understatement. It felt like someone was squeezing his lungs with an iron fist. Each and every one of his senses was heightened. Everything was too loud. The beer in his hand was too strong. The smell of wet concrete was making him sick. No matter how many times he does this. he will always be too nervous for words.

"I'd recommend you the same thing." His friend said next to him, making himself more comfortable on the hood of the car and grinning. Always the smartass.

"Why? I feel great." Namjoon said with obvious fake enthusiasm.

"You don’t look like it. Might as well smash that bottle to the ground, you look like you’re about to break it."

He took a quick look at the hand that was holding the bottle. The grip on that poor bottle was so strong that his veins were protruding, and his knuckles turned white. Namjoon was so concentrated in holding all his nerves in that he forgot that he stood absolutely no chance against the human radar that his best friend, Min Yoongi was. Nothing could get past him, not even the simple gestures like turning the page on one of his loved books more aggressively, without Yoongi saying "Got to a bad part?" with a shit-eating grin. This...radar of his was both a blessing and a curse, at least to Namjoon. Right now, it felt like a curse.

"Are you saying this because you don’t want me to waste the beer?” Namjoon responded jokingly.

"Partially”. Yoongi returned his joke with a chuckle. „But also because I know how you’re like before a show. And I honestly don't know what you're so worried about. You've rehearsed this set so many times in the living room, I think I heard you sing it in your sleep. Stop worrying so much."

Easier said than done. When you love this as much as Namjoon does, every missed beat is a dagger straight into the heart. Rapping is all he ever did, and most likely will continue to do. He gained some fame after his first mixtape dropped about a year ago. The response was overwhelmingly positive from his fans, which he held in his heart dearly, but some...felt like what he was saying was “too much”. That's all he saw on social media lately in regard to him. It was either Rap Monster is too explicit, or Rap Monster can't keep a flow. Prudes and cowards. But he didn't really care about the potentially offended, pearl-clutching people that were trying to make him feel bad for being "explicit". They were not going to make him feel bad for expressing himself and being everything that all those people couldn't be. Themselves. Who cares? He only cares about the love that his fans give him, he only has eyes for them. When he sees their faces light up as soon as he entered the stage, nothing else matters. That's what life is all about for him. His fans. How they see him. And tonight's show, is all about that.

"It's all about them right now” was his mantra for tonight's show. As a thank you to the positive response to his mixtape drop, Namjoon decided to do a impromptu concert dedicated to his fans exclusively. Every song that they scream for him to sing, he'll sing it. He loved his fans so much, maybe too much, because he did present the idea of a "no ticket entrance" to Yoongi, which he shut down promptly with the threat of "potential non-fans entering", which could get nasty very quickly. Oh and Namjoon knows all about that. After being in the rap scene for a while and having hundreds of pairs of eyes watching everything you do, you start to learn a little bit about perspective. How you look and how you're looked at. And the only perspective that mattered to him was his fans. He wanted nothing more than to be loved by his fans thru the music that he puts out and make sure that everything he makes is artistically pleasing to him first. He would never in his life put out a half-assed song. He would never have collaborations with people that only want to sit in his spotlight and have a taste of it. No. Not on his time. Not on his hard work.

But that’s not the only perspective. There's another crowd watching behind the curtains, sneering at his success, laughing at his mistakes, making him feel that whatever he does, he'll never be good enough. And of course, they never have the balls to show their faces, they sit in the dark, either typing out hate or sitting posted up in the back of the club he's performing at, watching every move he does before dissecting it and judging it mercilessly. It was only talk and no bite until unfortunately, one night it did get physical, when a man outside of the club tried to fight him and Yoongi as they were leaving after a show. Yoongi is "small but packs a punch" as Namjoon liked to point out sometimes, so when he saw that he tried to fight back, he wasn't that surprise. Fortunately, there was never a fight because the man ran before his friend could get ready, probably getting scared that Yoongi actually tried to push back. Namjoon isn't a fan of violence, unless absolutely necessary, as in, to protect yourself, but besides that, he never genuinely got into a fight. Yoongi on the other case. he has been through a few fights here and there, but never in front of him. He mysteriously comes back at their shared apartment with cuts or bruises that "he doesn't want to talk about it", so Namjoon never pushed him further. He has an idea of where and how...but he'd rather not get on his friend's bad side.

"It's easier said than done" Namjoon said, picking up the conversation again after a long pause in which he thought about that back alley fight.

"I know a cure...if you're interested of course". The same gummy grin, with the same know-it-all attitude. Namjoon would never get tired of his friend's antics and gestures. After being together for so long, he has all his mannerism memorized. Which is why he knows exactly what this "cure" is, but he decided to play along.

"What is it, doctor Min Yoongi?"

Yoongi pushed himself from the hood of the car and walked towards the backseat door, opening it up and retrieving two bottles of beer from the case that they brought earlier in the night. They made a soft clanking sound as Yoongi walked towards hie friend, all smiles of course

"Tonight's prescription."

To Namjoon's surprise, Yoongi placed both bottles besides him on the ground, implying that the second one, was not for himself, but also for Namjoon.

"Both of them??"

"Yes."

"This is my second one Yoongi, I can't be four beers in at a concert, I'll be all over the place!"

His friend laughed, probably at the image of seeing him drunk on stage before continuing

"They're not even that strong. Besides, you're bigger than me, you can take some more. It's the only next best thing to...other stuff that will help you relax."

Namjoon wasn't sure about this. Sure, being a little bit buzzed might make him look and feel more relaxed on stage, but that would be a bit of a pang in his work ethic. And if he starts to get addicted to this before-a-show ritual of drinking, as he's seen with many artists...

"Other stuff..." said Namjoon suspiciously. He couldn't brush off Yoongi's words that easily. "That you couldn't possibly get a hold off..." he eyed him up and down "right, Yoongi?"

After that statement, he saw in Yoongi's eyes that he didn't like what he implied. Drugs here are impossible to get a hold off. Of course, if you're rich and have connections, everything is possible. But what Yoongi lacked in wealth, he made up in "a guy that knows a guy that knows a guy". So it wasn't a huge stretch in the imagination that his friend could make something work. But Namjoon refuse to believe that his friend would get involved in this stuff. He wouldn't let him get involved in this stuff. The problem with that is that Yoongi is extremely secretive, never lets words out unless absolutely necessary, or Namjoon has to pull him by his tongue to speak. It was next to impossible to read what was going on through his mind. But after knowing him for so long, he could read that the brow crease in his face and the look in his eyes bothered him. It was like lightning, so fast that if Namjoon wasn't looking directly in Yoongi's face, he couldn't make out what his reaction might be. He was wrong anyway to assume that he's be mad, because Yoongi replied alarmingly calm.

"I'm going to assume that the beer got to your head for you to say shit like that, so I'll let it slide." He reached down to the ground and grabbed one of the bottles that he brought, popped it open and took a swig. Smiling he continued "Have to revise your prescription...if I gave you two you might've thought I'm a pimp on the low or something."

There was a strain in his voice, as if he was holding back. So much for not getting to his bad side. But Yoongi wasn't currently thinking about that. He was making plans in how protect his friend from the very thing he got suspicious about. Of course, it hurt to hear Namjoon make assumptions about him without evidence to stand on. It was suspicion. That’s it. And he's partially right in his suspicion, but not in the way he thinks. Yoongi had more experience in the rap scene than him, so it was only natural that he would help Namjoon in everything related to it. Especially now, when every eye is on him and what his next move might be. He’s had way too many acquaintances fall in vicious business because of all the temptations that came with fame. To lust after all things that cam make a good person fall from grace becomes incredibly easy and more accessible than ever. So Yoongi’s main priority in regards to Namjoon was to make sure that he stays on track with his career and morals, most of all.

But that came with challenges. First, and quite frankly the only one, is Namjoon himself. Yoongi swears on his life that he has never met a more stubborn person than the taller man that is currently sipping beer next to him, looking all apologetic. Every time he tries to steer his friend from a potentially dangerous situation, he tugs as hard as he can to keep it his way. A good example would be the back alley fight, in which even though Yoongi said to stay back and let him handle it, Namjoon was ready to fight. He yaps about "not liking violence" but Yoongi knows it's bullshit. Ever since he got a little bit of fame, it's like Namjoon is itching at the palms to punch a dude into next week. Success is giving him tunnel vision and it's what Yoongi is scared about the most. All he's going to see in front of him is cash, cars and diamond rings with no regards to what's next to him: family, friends, fans etc. His worst fears about what might become of Namjoon’s career could become a reality, no matter how many warning signs he could place in front of him. But he would be damned if he let this shit happen. He would drill his mind every single day if that’s what it took to stir his friend away from the danger that this life could expose him to.

"I'm sorry." Namjoon was genuine in his apology. He looked straight at Yoongi, even though he wasn't looking back at him. He was staring into the distance, as if to size up the emptiness of the parking lot. It was obvious that Yoongi was upset, and Namjoon felt terrible for that. But at the same time, there was a part of him that was telling him that was justified in his suspicion. A voice in the back of his head telling him that something isn't quite right. Therefore, he continued.

"But you have to understand me too." Yoongi whipped his head quickly at that.

"Understand? Understand what Namjoon?". He came off way more threatening than how he wanted. It was hard not to. This is a touchy subject for them, and it was always a bit of a problem in their relationship. Secrets. They trust each other with their life but not enough to tell each other how they really feel. They lack in communication, both of them, Yoongi was a brick wall and Namjoon was determined to break it, even without Yoongi's will which made things difficult. Also, Namjoon doesn't know when to drop it. Like now right, for example.

"You never tell me anything. Ever. Not even when I'm in the right to question you."

Yoongi felt guilt take over him, it the worst possible way. The kind of guilt that makes someone question if whatever they're doing right now is the right thing to do, even if it makes other feel uncomfortable or unwanted. As if this missed connection that Yoongi put intentionally between them was for a greater purpose. At least, that's what Yoongi liked to think. Sure, he could open up, tell him that he wants nothing more than to just see him succeed at everything he wants, to protect him from this life's fatal choices, to trust him unconditionally...but he wasn't ready for it. Not right now at least. Brick walls have feelings too, you know?

“Joonie-”

“Listen! I get it...” Namjoon said dismissively before drinking the rest of the now-lukewarm beer: “You don’t have to babysit me Yoongi, I know what might happen.” There was stifled anger in his words, that even though he tried to contain to not come off as angry to his friend, Yoongi picked on it.

“I’m just trying to-”

“I know what you’re trying to do! You don’t want me to become like all your other rapper friends. I assure you; it won’t happen.” His face was angled towards the neon light of the parking lot, staring into the distance almost. The lights were so strong it made him want to pull his eyes out…must be hard being so shiny and up there: “Joonie don’t do this, Joonie don’t do that…” he continued in a mocking tone that didn’t help to alleviate the tension that was currently rising.

“I’m not saying all of this to babysit you, I’m saying all of this because I care about you! And don’t you worry about my friends, mind your business!” Now they were both angry at each other. The tension was starting to rise between them. To Yoongi, the parking lot started to shrink, making him feel cornered, and to Namjoon started to expand beyond his comprehension, just like his suspicion and determination. Namjoon really didn't want to fight his friend, especially right before a show. This really wasn't the kind of adrenaline that he wanted. Maybe he should've accepted that second beer.

“Is that why you get calls at 2 AM to pick their drunk asses off from the club? Because your protection worked so well?” He was staring at Yoongi now, with the intent to prove him wrong. That he can do this without ending up like all the others. To prove him that he doesn’t need help from him. He can't be sure why he insists into proving that he's special or cut from a different cloth but the look in Yoongi's eyes made him reconsider his purpose entirely. Yoongi's eyes showed that all thosecalls at 2 AM weren't giving him any sort of pleasure but were making him sad instead. Instead of the anger that Namjoon expected to throw back at him, his eyes were pointed downwards, half lidded, and his arms were gathered more tightly around him

"If you think I like having to prevent my friends from becoming drug addicts and alcoholics, you're very wrong." Yoongi now looked straight at him now. "I just want you to not forget who you are."

Namjoon didn't expect that all, he would have rather have Yoongi curse him out and call him names than to give him this regretful look. He could tell that he was hurting deep inside, deeper than what he could comprehend. His shoulders are slumped as if he's got the world's weight on him, wanting to get crushed and disappear under the ground. What web of feelings does Yoongi have tangled in him, so much that he can't even tell Namjoon how he really feels.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-"

"It's fine. Don't worry about it." He got cut off quickly. The fact that he didn't even let him finish his apology send a clear message. To stop talking.

"Just finish that beer."

And so he did. After a few sips, in which the silence hung so heavy between both of them that it felt crushing, the sounds of tires scratching and screaming crashed completely against that silence. Both of the men whipped their heads around confused in the direction of the sounds. The car that pulled up in the parking lot didn't looked like the usual cars that stop sometimes here, it looked quite expensive, which is why that reckless driving made them question who was behind the steering wheel to risk the destruction of such a nice car. After a few more swerves, that left dark round marks on the cement and the smoke cleared out, it stopped next to Yoongi and Namjoon's parked car. The windows were tinted, so you couldn't make out who was in the car. Instead, a song with heavy base was coming out, making the identity of this driver even more mysterious. Yoongi was quick to judge, thinking that it must be some rich father’s son that stole his daddy's car and is trying to show off. He clicked his tongue at the thought, Namjoon thought similarly, but judging by the different pitches of screams that were inside the car as they were swerving, it was highly probable that were girls there. It completed Yoongi's fantasy perfectly. Rich boy trying to show off daddy's car to some girls. Perfect.

But very wrong.

Both of them had quite the surprise when a girl opens up the door from the driver’s seat and exists, slamming the car's door with such force that it startled the two men. The rest of the people in the car come out, two girls and two men, who were so giddy and happy, it was clear that they were at least a little bit buzzed. But Yoongi an Namjoon were two distracted by the designated driver for tonight. She seemed sober, very much so, the look of pure stoic indifference to the screams of her friends said a lot. She checked herself out in the tinted mirror of the car, fixing her hair and outfit. Namjoon was so distracted by her identity, he barely had time to process her appearance. And it was a lot to process. It wouldn't do it justice to call her beautiful. It's like everything about her was effortless, from hair strands that didn't need to be fixed, to her hands smoothing out the creases in her outfit which mapped out the shape of her body. While Namjoon ogled at her without a crumb of shame, Yoongi looked at her face in the car window. He wasn't blind, he could admit that she was a beautiful girl, but there was a complete crash when you looked at her expression. Purely devoid of any emotion. Stone cold, Stoic. Completely unreadable. Maybe she was shy or more reserved, though, that hard cold stare into the car window could hardly be of a shy person. Her friends were calling out to her, making signs to come to the trunk and open it. So this was her car.

"Come ooonnnn...! I don't wont this soju to get warm!”

"Open iiitttt..."

Her friends, presumably, slurred their words like children, like they were trying to make their babysitter open the cabinet with sweets. But she didn’t budge at their insistence. Not even a little bit. She just kept...staring at the car window. Namjoon, in his true philosophical nature, started to draw conclusions "Maybe she's deaf? Or just works as a driver to these people? Did she forget to turn headlights off?" Yoongi was harsher, his experiences spoke for themselves "She hates these people...who wouldn't hate to carry around 4 drunk people at the same time." Namjoon eventually ran out of space in his mind to draw out his theories, so he gave up and lifted the bottle of beer that had a sip at the bottom, only to stop suddenly. He noticed something. She wasn't looking in the window at herself. She was looking at them. The window tint was so dark you couldn't really make out the reflection. As soon as Namjoon caught that, which he didn't even had time to process fully the extent of how fucking weird it is to stare at someone through a car window, she took it upon herself to point that out, in a lightning fast turn from her car and a scowl directed at them.

"What the fuck are you looking at!?''

14 notes · View notes