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catwhispers0 · 2 months

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✧༝┉˚*❋ Silly Pickup Lines ❋*˚┉༝✧

Featuring -

Cyno, Al Haitham, Tighnari, Kaveh, Zhongli, Xiao, Scaramouche, Neuvillette, Wriothesley

gn reader - pronouns: you/your

Tw and authors note - might be a lil suggestive for some lines, i dont play genshin 😭😭 so if any of the characters are kinda goofy its cause im too poor for that game, ooc, bad grammar 😬 VERY LIGHTLY EDITED, annoying reader lol

minors shoo shoo as always

✧༝┉˚*❋ Cyno ❋*˚┉༝✧

“do you believe in love at first sight, or should i walk by again?”

finally, its my time to shine

“do you have a bandaid? because i scraped my knee falling for you.”

“are you a time traveler? because i see you in my future.”

“if we were socks, we would make a great pair.”

if anyone were nearby, they would be gone now. you would surely attract a crowd of people who appreciated the little pickup line competition more, if you werent in the middle of a library.

“are you a loan? because youve got my interest.”

“if you were a vegetable, youd be a cute-cumber.”

that was the breaking point of the poor librarian, who hoped you two would just stop on your own. but nothing could stop you before you could fluster cyno, and he could go all day and night before he would fluster you.

so, yea, yall got kicked out of the library, but at what cost? honestly, yall never stopped throwing terrible pickups at each other, much to the pain and disappointment of anyone around you (cough tighnari cough).

but depending on your strength against cynos charms, you may last either forever, or give cyno a new hobby of flustering you whenever and wherever he could.

✧༝┉˚*❋ Al Haitham ❋*˚┉༝✧

“do you have a name, or can i just call you mine?”

Al haitham just looked up from his book, confused.

“i have a name, did you really forget it?”

well this was odd, he thought you were smarter than this. forgetting his name, really?? of all the things you could forget, his name was one of the most, no, THE most offensive one.

maybe you tripped and hit your head on the way in. he didnt think you were the smartest person in sumeru, but surely you werent stupid enough to forget the scribes name.

“no, i know your name, but can i call you mine?”

he somehow found a way to look even more confused. ‘can i call you mine’ who is ‘mine’?? oh. wait. mine!!

by the time he finally realized, you walked away with a cheeky grin. he was left in the dust, flustered. and to think he thought you were dumb.

now, how was he going to work for the rest of the day?

✧༝┉˚*❋ Tighnari ❋*˚┉༝✧

“arent you tired of running through my mind all day?”

he put his head in his hands in defeat, dropping the papers he was working on. with his ears flat against his head, he groaned.

“...are you ok nari?”

“no.”

“...”

after a moment, he looked up at you. he had a disappointed, dead-panned expression. his ears were still flat and he just stared at you, ridiculing you in awkward silence.

he thought he would only have to deal with one idiot in a life time. why were you so..? annoying? no, thats not it. alluring? maybe… he didnt understand how through all of the shenanigans you pull him through, all the terrible jokes and one liners, youve sill managed to capture his heart and let him keep you around. so yea, alluring.

“... do you wanna hear another one?”

*sigh* “sure, but only if its good.”

his reluctance was apparent in his voice, but the agreement was a good sign.

you gave it a beat of time to dig through your head for a clever one that would sweep tighnari off his feet.

“i think i need to see an optometrist, because i cant keep my eyes off of you~.”

“...”

“...” “get out.”

“...ok”

✧༝┉˚*❋ Kaveh ❋*˚┉༝✧

“i must be in a museum, because youre a work of art.”

The architect nearly chokes on his drink and spits it out. you scramble to help him out of concern though there was little you could do in the first place.

so pat him on the back awkwardly as he endeavors his coughing fit. sometime through the hacking, you notice it has shifted to laughter.

“what are you laughing about?? are you ok??”

“-yea, im fine, you are just too cute! you caught me off guard.”

with this, he picked you cheek adoringly. you gave him an incredulous look, this man really choked on his drink and now he demeans you? absolutely not.

you turn on your heel and walk away after giving him a look of a mix of disappointment and exasperation.

he follows quickly after to try and pester you for the rest of the day on ‘how adorable you are’.

✧༝┉˚*❋ Zhongli ❋*˚┉༝✧

“are you a geo user, because you rock my world! *wink*”

a small smile and a giggle does little to hide his growing flush. he looks away for a moment, letting your words settle in the air.

why did you have to be so cute? and you look at him expectantly - waiting for a reaction. you didnt think he would fall that easily, hm?

-though, he does appreciate a challenge.

sure, hes heard plenty of one-liners in his time, most when and about his dragon or archon forms. but he didnt expect you to exchange one with him, he doesnt know what to do or how to feel.

“you are something, my dear. are you hungry? its about time for my lunch break, i thought you wouldnt mind the offer, seeing as you seem to want to sweep me away so badly.”

“something?”

what was that supposed to mean? a good something or a bad something? his reaction did little to answer, but you took him up on his offer. maybe tomorrow you would get him.

gotta keep that old man on his toes afterall.

✧༝┉˚*❋ Xiao ❋*˚┉༝✧

“are you an adeptus, because youve reached a depth of my heart.”

at first, Xiao thought it was some adepti pun, but as the day went on, he wasnt so sure.

it had become such an issue, the yaksha had began pacing around with his finger to his chin and a furrowed brow.

he was overthinking it, he knew that, but he needed to know what it meant to be in a “depth of your heart”. did you mean it as friendly dialogue? or was there something more…?

was this a sign? a hint? a clue? a puzzle? he didnt know. how could you do this to him, what is he supposed to make of this?

could you have put him in a depth of your heart that noone else was? Perhaps it was wishful thinking. archons, why were mortals so complicated?!

by the time he had worked himself up to confront you about the issue that plagued his heart, the sun set and the stars had risen.

‘maybe tomorrow then, ill let you rest for now.’ he thought as he watched you sleep peacefully, protected.

✧༝┉˚*❋ Scaramouche ❋*˚┉༝✧

“im not a photographer, but i can picture us together.”

*silence*

“scara?”

“no.”

“what?”

“no, you are not doing this.”

aaaand he walks away…

as much as you try to talk to him after that, he avoids you. it doesnt last long though, maybe 2-3 days.

still, not very nice. you knew he wasnt the best person in the communication department, but wow.

anytime you tried to bring it up, he would shoot it down or avoid confrontation.

how nice would it be if he would just tell you if he was uncomfortable with teasing like that?

with all the teasing he makes you go through, you would think he could endure some himself. maybe he wasnt used to it though, or maybe you connection with him didnt abide by the rules of hypocracy.

maybe you should shun him back? a taste of his own medicine.

so thats how you ended up with indigo eyes piercing into you soul. as soon as you gave him any hint of a cold shoulder, his disappeared.

hes a stubborn man, he wont just go talk to you like a normal person. and all this over a cheesy pickup line.

its more than that though, the way he treats you is much more that what he can handle himself. be gentle on him, he doesnt know these things.

he doesnt know this feeling that arises every time he looks at you, when you say his name in that pretty voice of yours, the faces and reactions you make that are too precious for anyone else to see.

so when you hit him with a one-liner, maybe the feeling is too unbearable for the guy.

go reassure him, he needs it.

✧༝┉˚*❋ Neuvillette ❋*˚┉༝✧

“your lips look lonely, can mine keep them company?”

Neuvillette nearly dies on the spot. this is the most romantic gesture hes ever heard of - he loves poetry, you know.

“why of course, my love.”

okay

okay, you just kissed the chief justice of fontaine. wow wow wow cool cool okay dont freak out.

his face is still so close to yours - hairs away. his eyes meet yours, full of love and adoration.

his lips are still parted, you can feel his breath against your lips.

they were soft and gentle. would he mind if you went in for another? surely not..?

and just amd you closed your eyes, they were startled open. a melusine opened the door and interrupted your moment.

oh well, how could you be mad when the look neuvillette snuck you screamed 'meet me again and we can pick up where we left off'.

✧༝┉˚*❋ Wriothesley ❋*˚┉༝✧

“you should lock yourself up, ya know, stealing is prohibited. “

he plays along immediately, smiling, but doesnt lift his eyes from his paperwork.

“and i am so very sorry for your lunch, perhaps you could let me go with a fine, my generous love?”

your lunch? oh, hes gonna pay for this! you didnt even know about it until now, too!

“my lunch?! what did you do to it?!”

he looks up finally.

“you dont know? oh well never mind dont think about it, love. its for… the better…”

how mysterious. if you could deadpan him harder, you would.

“...so, what else did i steal?”

the audacity.

“well if you have to know, it was going to be cute and romantic, i was going to say you stole my heart but you can just give it right back, along with your lunch.”

and you walk away, off to check where you put your food.

some wishful thinking said that he was just joking for a bit, but knowing him, you cant always be sure…

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if u want any other characters, drop a request in my mail/ask box ❤️❤️

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peetapeetapumpkineata · 2 months

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LUCKY

Peeta Mellark X AFAB!reader

Summary: you're worried about him during the quarter quell

Tags: fluff, slight angst, insecure little Peeta baby😔, kissing, one or two innuendos, three uses of y/n, established relationship (your in Katniss's place, obvi)

wc: 3.134k

Notes: there is definitely not enough Peeta fics!! I'm also working on a hijacked Peeta fic based off of one of my favorite songs! (idk when I'll finish it). Enjoy! also reposting this since it flopped

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It had been three hours since Peeta hit the force field and Finnick had to resuscitate him.

You have been keeping a frantic eye on him, just in case there was another deadly object he wants to bump into (silly lil Peeta. You can’t take him anywhere fr fr).

“y/n- I swear I'm fine. You don't have to keep watching me.” Peeta mumbles and glances at you.

“I know, I'm just scared.. Maybe you shouldn’t be so clumsy.” you tease, trying to calm some of your nerves.

“Ok, ok. I get it. I thought everyone knew I was the weak one in the alliance.” he chuckles and shakes his head.

“What do you mean? You’re not weak, Peeta. You won the games.” you look at him and raise your eyebrow.

“Are you sure? I won the games because of you. I was just.. Lucky.” he looks back at you and shrugs.

“Lucky? Peeta, I’m the lucky one. We probably wouldn’t have made it together if you didn’t find those berries.” you sigh and scoot closer to him. He wraps his arm around your shoulder and squeezes you gently. “y/n.. Just because I found some berries, doesn’t mean I’m not weak. I’m just a baker.. You deserve someone who can take care of you.”

You gently grab his chin and turn his head to face you. “But you can. You’re the only person I feel safe with. And I like that you’re a baker. It makes you more adorable.” you giggle softly and stare into his eyes.

“You’re just saying that.” he blushes faintly and rolls his eyes playfully.

“No, I'm not.” you brush away a piece of his hair and shake your head.

He smiles at you and wraps his other arm around you.

You rest your head in his lap and lean against him, smiling back up at him as he strokes your hair.

“So it's true. I guess the ‘star-crossed lovers’ are actually real.” Finnick snorts, nudging Johanna next to him.

“Isn't it obvious? I thought it was hilariously clear when she started whaling on him and shouting at all of us after his heart stopped.” Johanna laughs, nudging him back.

“I thought she was gonna start punching me after i gave him mouth to mouth.” He laughs with her, glancing at the two of you.

“‘Peeta! Peeta! Omg Peeeetaa!!’” Johanna mimics you, laughing even harder with Finnick.

You glare at them and sit up from his lap. “Do you two ever shut up?”

“Oh please, we all know how you got that ‘baby’ inside you.” He grins and wiggles his eyebrows at you.

You roll your eyes and scoff. “You two make me sick.”

“Whatever, lover girl.” they laugh again and walk back over to the rest of the group

You sigh and lean back against him “I can’t stand them sometimes.”

“Me either.. I just wish they would give us some time to ourselves.” he mumbles and kisses you on the forehead.

“‘Wanna go for a walk? For a break?” you smile and raise your eyebrow

“Yeah, why not?” he smile back at you and stands up

“Hey ‘love birds’! Come back with another bun in the oven so we can get some sponsors, eh?” Finnick shouts and laughs harder.

“Don't make me shoot you!” you shout back and grab his hand as you head deeper into the jungle.

You lean against a tree next to him and rest your head on his shoulder. “I miss home so much. I would do anything to have your cinnamon buns one last time before my stupid inevitable death.”

“Cmon y/n, you’re not gonna die. I’ll make sure of it.” he strokes the side of your head with his thumb. “Once we get home together, I’m gonna make you your own batch.” he chuckles and pecks the top of your head softly.

“Peeta, you know it's practically impossible to get out of this together, right?” you glance up at his face and smile sadly.

“I know, but I'm willing to risk those odds. I’m sure I'm lucky enough” he smiles back at you and moves his hand from your hair to your cheek.

You grin and pull him into a soft kiss. Not a forced one, for the cameras or for the capitol. A real kiss.

“you don't have to kiss me if you don't want to.” he says after you pull away.

“I know.” you nod and kiss him again.

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#peeta mellark #peeta mellark x reader #peeta mellark x you #peeta mellark fluff #peeta mellark angst #the hunger games #thg #josh hutcherson #sean anderson #clapton davis #derek danforth #journey to the center of the earth #clapton davis x reader #sean anderson x reader #derek danforth x reader #fluff #fan fiction #angst #smutt

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mikajunie · 29 days

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rediscovering shame and giving yourself compassion (how to deal with shame as someone with ADHD)

this is directed towards my fellow ADHDers who have trouble with reoccuring shame while leads to hindered productivity.

signs that your productivity is hindered by shame (compiled by my own experiences):

you feel negative physical symptoms when you think about your responsibilities

you find ways to avoid the responsibilities

every time you make progress, you feel like you don't ever wanna touch it again

when you present your progress, you feel ashamed of yourself because it's not finished (on time & according to ur standards).

you feel like you are a constant failure. you never win, despite achieving good things here and there.

you are a walking ball of anxiety

you have a fear of being perceived

there's probably more, but eh those are just from my own experiences

below i will write down what y'all should remember, what you can do to help yourself, etc. this is compiled from dr k, my own journaling time, and my firsthand experience from having shame 24/7

some things u gotta remember

shame is what exists in the gap between your ideal self and where you are currently.

your ideal self doesn't have to be unrealistic, it can be yourself when you were at your peak or someone who is very similar to you.

shame brings negative thoughts, because it makes you see progress as a negative thing.

instead of being happy that u made progress, u grumble to urself and ask "why didnt i just do it sooner? im so stupid". it's a reminder of your failures, so u avoid progress altogether.

shame can become a part of you, to the point where you feel uneasy or vulnerable if you dont feel ashamed at yourself

shame doesn't do anything to ADHDers in the long run except self-loathing and hindered productivity.

what should u do?

basically self-therapy, but instead of stopping at why, i try to solve my shame one-by-one.

examine past moments where you felt a LOT of shame. this can go back to elementary. the stronger the emotions, the better. now, write them down. you're probably cringing, but that is good. feel all the cringiness running through ur veins.

why did you feel shame? why did it happen? what did you feel?

reframe your thoughts. instead of immediately running away from it, accept it and justify it. give it compassion. give it a hug. was it your 7 year old self? hug yourself. it's okay to fuck up and do silly things sometimes, and it's okay to have ADHD. it's not our fault.

remember that ADHD is a lifelong nerudivergency, you can't just push it away. coping mechanisms and tools help, but give yourself some grace when you screw up. it's our first time living anyway.

calm your body down. make sure your physical body is doing okay.

now... think of one thing you want to do but can't because of shame and do these steps carefully. think of the reasons why you might be ashamed, and reframe your thoughts.

WARNING!! TAKE IT ONE PRESENT ACTION AT A TIME. don't do this for every action you want to take, let your body slowly learn that it's okay to make progress despite the shame you feel, and you are allowed to feel compassion for yourself.

train your body to accept compassion slowly. life is tough with ADHD but it's even tougher knowing that shame will get in your way. give yourself a break, it's fine to fuck up, we all go through different things anyway. even if it's not fine, you will learn and make those mistakes a lil bit lesser in the future.

ok hope this helps.

#mika rambles #neurodivergent #neurodiversity #adhd #actuallyadhd #actually adhd #adhd tips #adhd advice #adhd problems #adhd brain #adhd things #self improvement #mental health #mental illness #advice

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isa-ghost · 1 month

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If you're still doing Philza headcannons, how about some specifically about Phil, Chayanne, and Tallulah? I miss the kiddos...

qPhil headcanons masterlist

(NOT) SINGLE DAD EDITION LETS GO

Those two are the light of his fucking life ok. If you were someone that had something against him, they're how you get to him. They're how you hurt him. He will do ANYTHING for them. He'll kill his friends, he'll fly on broken wings, he'll die for them. Nothing matters more than those two kids.

He's not typically a very physically affectionate person. But to the kids? Suddenly he's a cuddler. Suddenly he's head kisses and carrying them on his hip just because he can. Suddenly he's braiding hair and painting nails and playfully tormenting them with tickles. They flip a switch in his brain.

Nothing could ever make him waver on how proud of them he is. Both of them. Chayanne so brave and strong, stressed to the teeth like his dad but persevering like a true warrior. Tallulah is so loving and open, even in the face of so much pain and adversity. She's been through so much, largely alone, and yet she still has the strength to smile and be silly after everything. Ideally he wishes they would've never experienced any pain at all, but Quesadilla says Damn You All

Chayanne & Tallulah can make him laugh until his stomach hurts, and they can do it faster than friends he's known for YEARS. Tallulah especially is the queen of comedic nonverbal timing. All it takes is a certain look with a slow turn after Phil says something stupid and he's Dying.

His favorite thing is when either of them fall to pieces emote bc smth stupid happened. Or whenever they Orange Justice after smth fucked happens.

Listen. LISTEN. Don't be fooled by this man. He LOVES adventures with the kids. He loves them. The reason he refuses to venture out with them or go dungeon raiding with them super often is because survivalist brain is like if the worst happens, the Feds do not have your back. If you lose the kids you have nothing much to live for on this island. Do not risk their lives, even if it sounds fun.

He fucking loves watching the kids talk to the other eggs. The constant taptaptaptaptap of signs being placed while they chat together makes him giggle. He also loves watching them just crouch and silently communicate.

Dude Rose's love for the two of them makes his heart so full. Like legit the first time she told him "they're under my protection" he nearly cried. And not just from relief that they'd be safe from EK.

And related: Oh my GOD does he fucking love the term "fledglings" for them. It's SO CUTE. Rose was so right for that. Something about it drives home the thought of "these are MY kids" even more. He just 🥺

Chayanne's mask reminds him of Techno's boar one sometimes and it makes him wanna cry /pos. If Chayanne ever mentions being guided by Techno's spirit to fight EK Phil will never recover

He loves this "new era" of Tallulah, between her cutting her hair short a while back and now dying it + changing her hat. It feels like she's getting more independent despite everything and considering Phil used to have to Really hover around her to help her out, he's the world's proudest papa about it

He's told them stories about all the hardcore gods (that he knows of) at this point. Rose bc ofc he did. EK bc he kinda had to. The others bc at this point he's expecting them to poke their heads around at one point or another too. Chayanne loves Blaze. Tallulah still loves Rose the most. She's gone on a rant about "Papa how the fuck is Ocean Overlord a god when he fumbles things so badly???" He wishes he knew, Tallulah.

He wants to take them on a flight so bad it hurts. Literally. He's more angry EK fucked up his wings maybe permanently bc he robbed them of that than he is that EK did it to spite him.

He really really really hopes they do hatch some day and become lil dragon hybrids bc then he can watch them fly and teach them how to do it well (the best he can while he's grounded) (he might get a little envious)

He fucking LOVES sparring with the kids. He goes easy bc he's insanely skilled and experienced compared to Two Literal Children but they catch on and improve So Quick and it makes him so unbelievably proud and excited to see them demonstrate their skills in a real (hopefully non-lethal) situation.

#qsmp #qsmp philza #philza #q!philza #qsmp chayanne #qsmp tallulah #q!chayanne #q!tallulah #chayanne the egg #tallulah the egg #qphil headcanons

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pastadoughie · 3 months

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Do you have a recommendations on where to start learning about old web stuff?

tbh i hav no idea! w3schools & sadgrl have some coding and html tutorials if u wanna maek ur own website but 2 my knowlage nobody has written any kind of comprehensive guide or glossery for terms or history that could serve as an introduction for new ppl or well, people have tried, yesterweb exists but alot of people disagree with their approach to explaining the old web and trying to turn it into like a movement when alot of ppl just wanna liek, make silly websites or have a cute blog if you want websites to look at i have a stupid ammount of them bookmarked lol but if u want just a couple you can start with dokodemo & cinni tho my personal faves for sites are apple dust & whimsical tho tbh i engadge more so with people who make webgraphics then websites as i like art and organization a lil more then coding if u want a breakdown of any of my web graphics projects im willing 2 give one, but tbh i prefer 2 explain it over VC with screenshare rather then text because i dont want to have to take 7 million screenshots and gifs to show my project, i exist in my jigsaw puzzle discord on vc sometimes so you can just ask their, but i dont rlly wanna interact with people under 15 that much, so if you are i wouldnt reccomend joining i do wanna make a like, video overveiw of some of my completed works but im not the best at editing and still have to figure out a process that works well for me in that regard but just one thing, if you do wanna start making websites or web graphics or anything please i am begging you do not use uncredited graphics, theres alot of stolen artwork circulating around witch has lead to a sort of apathy around crediting artwork witch is really shitty! and it makes it extremely hard to track down sources of things when so many people are just sharing random art they stole with zero idea who made it, and its really really sad you can find f2u graphics on places like devient art, and if you are gonna use graphics you havent made you should make a comprehensive credits page on your site detailing what asset is what artist and where and how to find them, with both live links and archival links (cuz u dont wanna lose that) alot of p2u graphics dont require credit, you can generally find those on kofi, but with how common just ripping assets off of somebodies site is in this community idk how many artists are actually ok with somebody using their assets in that way even if paid if its something like a premade pack and not an actual commision i give some links to various artists on DA and ko-fi if you woul liek as well, but in general most people just kind of learn by existing in the community

#the beast speaks #ask #asks #apples-of-apples #screaming and scampering

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valentine-writes · 9 months

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i just rly wanna luv u !

「 tws + notes: no tws, unserious asf, atsv ben reilly having kenergy (CREDS 2 @//KAIRISCORNER THE GOAT for this), ben is mad silly, reader is a spider-person, unedited, ooc (?) 」

↳ ft. scarlet spider/ben reilly

「 oblivious gn!reader, romantic relationship <3 」

author's note: im having so many thoughts about him in the movie always. bro had bare minimum screen time and i still go AWOOGA thinking of this stupid stupid guy </3 im gonna b real here, i luv my bitches silly!!! (*ﾉε｀*)

▸ you were teamed up w/ ben reilly on your first mission!!! this was the first time you ever interacted,,, which was. interesting to say the least

"scanning the area..."

"who are you talking to–"

▸ you just kinda have to get used to his narrating while you hunt down the anomaly miguel sent you two after. but!!! just because he's talkative (more to himself rather than you) doesn't mean he's incompetent

you end up locating it and capturing it in about an hour and a half. quick as hell.

▸ you seem to work well with him!!! progressively, you notice that you're paired up with him quite frequently.

this isn't strange– itz actually fairly easily rationalized this by the fact that you just seem to work more efficiently as a duo

▸ eventually, you two become friends and spend time together beyond just doing missions

▸ it's relieving for the rest of the spider society to know he does more than just ruminate over his harrowing past and distressing memories when he's not saving the multiverse

▸ but it becomes just... a little peculiar. you may be oblivious, but you're far from stupid. everyone notices how he's spending more time around you than anyone else– he follows you like a lost puppy

you ask him about this,, and he fervently denies it

"following you? pft. no. not even. you wouldn't get it–"

like... ok dude. um. anyways.

▸ you pick up on little things here and there, but you just figure the poor guy doesn't have a lot of friends.

▸ you are the only person who's allowed to call him "benny" (though he will feign distaste for the nickname, he letz it slide)

▸ you are the only person who distracts him from his dramatic monologues, the only one who draws his thoughts away from whatever he's brooding about

▸ you are the only person who he ever actively seeks out

"has anyone seen them today? they haven't been around–"

"searching for them... hm... nowhere to be seen... checking frequent hangout locations–"

▸ and all of a sudden, you're the only person who he wants to show off to. not like you notice this part. you just assume he's grown accustomed to talking to you about everything

"check it out. i've changed my arm routine."

and he's jus.. flexing.

you hit him w/ the "cool dude, it's really showing!!" and he immediately takes +5 dmg from u tugging on his heartstrings

▸ ur compliments just mean everything to him

▸ the littlest things about your appreciation get to him. even just you smiling because of him seems to make him a little weak in the knees though he tries not to show it too much

▸ he's... trying. again, he really isn't incompetent but sometimes he's straight up making himself a cringefail loserboy around you

"THIS ONES FOR YOU!!!!" tries to shoot a basketball into a hoop

it hits the rim hard

bounces back

hits him square in the face

he tried.

▸ so maybe you haven't noticed much. however, you've definitely noticed he's been trying so much harder around you. and though you reassure him always that he's just fine the way he is– he still always attempts to be more.

you don't understand why.

▸ "ben, this... really isn't necessary, y'know? you're cool as you are." you tell him. it seems like he's relentless in his quest to impress.

you make it simple:

"i like you." you tell him.

ben pauses, taking a moment to look at you. his gaze is focused on you, your face– he hears the sincerity laced in your words. he feels his face heat up just a little. "...really?"

you grin and for a moment, his heart skips a beat. he feels his breath catch in his throat

"of course! ben," you say, his name on your lips being akin to the sound of a choir of angels, "you'll always be my best friend, dude."

+50 dmg to ben reilly

he cries HARD that night into his pillow IAHWOEHDJW

▸ you two are free entertainment for the rest of the spider society. people are placing bets on whether ben's gonna stop pussying around or if you're gonna put two-and-two together before he actually confesses

▸ and they are DIVIDED abt how this is gonna end for you both

after all, you still seem to be absolutely clueless about the fact that ben was the one practically begging miguel to be teamed up with you on each mission.

▸ and now, he's REALLY trying

▸ shows up with your favourite flowers at your door

"oh!! benny, that's so nice of you! you really are such a great friend–"

+60 dmg to ben reilly

▸ "inadvertently" (aka: TOTALLY ON FUCKING PURPOSE) tries to cuddle up to you on the couch or put an arm around you while watching a movie

"are you cold?"

"no, i–"

"here, i don't really need this blanket anyways"

+65 dmg to ben reilly

+5 warmth

▸ STRAIGHT UP TELLS YOU HE LOVES YOU

"i love you too, ben! you're irreplaceable. the absolute sweetest friend i have."

UR KILLING HIM

▸ you two r just:

▸ atp the spider society is in SHAMBLES. it is no longer entertaining it is torturous watching ben reilly now lament over his "unrequited love burning like a wildfire in his heart" (his dramatic ass words probably) and you have no clue it's about YOU

▸ one day, he's decided he has to do something. he needs to make it completely and undeniably clear that he's in love with you.

you're hanging out as usual, in the cafe not touching the miguel burger that they're serving there for some reason becuz eating the face of your boss feels... wrong and he clears his throat

"no backing out now..." he declared to himself, narrating while sitting Right In Front Of You

he clears his throat, making you look up from your fries.

"so..." he begins.

"benny, what would you do if someone didn't like you back?" you suddenly blurt out.

he looks up at your face. you've been pouting this entire time, head held low as you pick at your food.

how did he not notice? his attention is constantly on you. he mentally beats himself up for this

in the anxiety of his plans to confess, he somehow completely disregarded how you were feeling. he was so in his head.

"switching directive–" he mutters to himself, now focused on what you wanna say.

you give him a weak smile. "look, i just... i dunno. maybe this is bad timing."

there's a beat of silence between the two of you before you speak up again.

"ben. i really like you. like... more than a friend. it hurts. so so much. because i know you only think of me as a friend and i just–"

everyone within earshot nearly explodes hearing this.

▸ like ok plot twist i guess. so the pining went both ways and you were both completely oblivious to it.

▸ the other spider-people who were betting on how this would end are all SHAKEN

but are also so relieved they don't have to walk past ben loudly declaring his anguish due to a broken heart

▸ ben is astonished by how you even thought that he saw you as just a friend. he did EVERYTHING to get through to you

but hey. something worked. finally, after the yearning, and the trying, and the fear of rejection– he finds himself on a date with you :3

#he's so funny to me i need to crush him like an empty soda can #hes so babygirl i cant do this #u shud check the writer i mentioned btw i dropped two ben reilly reqs and they've caused my brainrot ever since #across the spiderverse #atsv #atsv x reader #ben reilly #ben reilly x reader #ben reilly headcanons #scarlet spider #scarlet spider x reader

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n4talia-chaparro · 3 months

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My stupid ass when I promise others I'll not ramble or be a disgusting weirdo 24/7 and ends up making weird shit like this for info,,,, 😬😬

UHH UH NO OK LIKE-- I DID PROMISE I WOULD STFU AND STUFF BUT I DIDN'T WANNA LOSE ANY URGE TO INFO DUMP ABOUT IT UHH--

MY SILLY THOUGHTS WAS FILLED WITH SCRAPPED AND REMOVED IDEAS THAT I ACCIDENTALLY BROUGHT SOME OF THEM BACK uhh-- Professor P is involved but no one knows when is he gonna appear because I'm scared of you people sometimes. So scared I would ACCIDENTALLY mess it up or abstract them back til further notice uhh.

him?? Yes him cuz again idk when am I gonna add him or when is he gonna appear. Keep that in mind the AU is very LONG it may have sequels or a spin-off AU based on it. And maybe that motherfucker will end up coming out of nowhere with the rest of the characters involved.

I've been getting slightly inspired by those silly mlp infection au trends or sum and I've been wanting to develop half of the au by making something with character info. Not sure why the fuck I thought it was a good idea. I just thought it would be cool to imagine the AU looking like this except with NO infection or virus. Just a murderer on a loss and having some silly analog horror vibes and shii because half of the crappy au took heavy inspiration from the analog horror community and the other stuff that I already mentioned a couple of times but I keep repeating it in case new people don't know and I'm scared to know if I'm accidentally hurting them or not with the content.

UH I MEAN I'M HOPING TO MAKE MORE STUFF SIMILAR TO THAT SOON uhh. Again I'm not proud of how they came out and maybe one day I can try to turn them into a random ass analog VHS or whatever everyone calls those in the analog horror community because I get easily confused with the "vhs" videos when it comes to watching them um--

Anyways...

A normal version without the static and crappy filter.

Funny ass truck frr 😭😭

#cu tbgdotgp au #captain underpants au #professor poopypants #au artwork #ibispaint art #ibis paint x #art #cu au #tetocu au #au art #digital drawing #character design

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dykevanny · 5 months

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Sorry I don't know all of the wererabbit lore could you explain to me? Sorry if you already have by the way!

HAPPY TO RAMBLE I’M LIKE THE HIPPO.

Ok so basically. Idk when exactly it takes place but the aftons are all alive, henry and Charlie are alive, the glamrocks are a few 20-somethings with a shitty transgender garage band, cassie tony and Ellis are hanging around, cassidy hangs around Evan and Charlie, and well basically. Vanessa and Gregory were both homeless (they met at 17 and 6)(vanessa ran away, gregory has dead parents LOL) and ended up living with Freddy yay! Nessa soon got a nice normal job at a totally normal local diner (Fredbears) and ends up meeting william yay!! They hang around a lot and it’s nice :] will gets someone new to monologue at and vanessa gets a whimsical father figure. Unfortunately for literally everyone William has made a discovery!

For some fuckass reason he’s discovered how LITERAL KOOKY MOON MAGIC works and is using his favorite employees as his TEST SUBJECTS. He tried to turn bonnie into a wererabbit and the guy DIED. Surely this did not impact anyone in any sort of way. Well after perfecting his funky spell he decided to test it on Vanessa and .. it worked.! So now during full moons she turns into a giant rabbit creature that William can command. He uses this power for murder of course- because he is quite silly. Vanessa does not remember anything that happens as the werebunny and is quite distressed whenever she wakes up in the woods in her PJs covered in somebody else’s blood. Not fun. However she hasn’t. Told Gregory or Freddy because she doesn’t wanna worry them.. also William knows about this issue and says he can help so surely she doesn’t have to worry right? one night, the afton kids had gregory over for a goofy sleepover!(Michael was acting like a chaperone all ‘ohh well I’m the oldest so i better make sure you guys don’t set lizzy’s room on fire’ when actually he is participating equally in the chaos.) they end up playing hide and seek in the woods…. Which sounds stupid but trust me living in front of the woods does that to ya. Anyways they encounter the werebunny (ran away from will.. turns out giant neurotic prey animal is difficult to control sometimes) and these whimsical children take it home with them because they noticed it had been chained up and decided they HAD to save it.. so of course the beast had like 13 bows in it’s fur. They have it sleep under lizzy’s bed just in case mrs afton walks in and sees it and well in the morning they check and. WHY IS VANESSA HERE.!?

……………so basically the kids know vanessa is a werebunny. Vanessa is just finding this information out and is very distressed. William doesn’t know his kids found the werebunny but he knows SOMEbody is tampering with his murder freak animal (and well, gregory treats the werebunny like an oversized lapdog, Liz and Ev are living their Disney princess dream, and Michael is having his HTTYD era but ultimately that doesn’t affect Will’s control over it he’s just got control issues)

Um and yeah it’s uh basically a goofy silly au from my Powerful Transgender Mind uhh yeah 👍 fucking bunby reblog if you agree

#werebunny au #there’s also lots of stuff in the tag if you want to know more specifics<3

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quitealotofsodapop · 6 months

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@dorothygale123;

Olive aka my idea for Netflix Monkey King's version of the Six Eared Macaque/LEM, has a backstory similar but different from his Cherry/SWK counterpart.

A monkey is hatched from a Stone Egg. However, instead of Flower Fruit Mountain; Olive was "born" on the Moon. Technically in the world of Immortals, Olive originally grew up around them before becoming disgusted by their gluttony and frivilous nature.

Pulled a "I don't want to be a royal/prince(ss)" and escaped to Earth... where they immediately got harassed into living on the outskirts of FFM by the superstitious local monkey demons. A certain red-furred Monkey was the only one that seemed to think Olive's ears were "amazing/awesome!" instead of something to be feared. But he left sometime afterwards for some reason... something about 100 demons?

Olive spent a lot of the last 500 years just travelling, falling into different bad crowds, tricking unwise humans, and getting tangled up in a current celestial uprising.

Olive is mistaken for the Monkey King by people & demons who've only heard stories of Cherry's exploits. A macaque demon with weird physical traits/abilities? Must be the Monkey King.

Olive initially approaches the Pilgrims for a devious plan, but quickly finds himself way underestimating how fast he falls for the red-furred super-powerful himbo. Hopefully these feelings wear off before his boss's plans come into play.

It also gives the pair interesting conflicting ideals of; "wait you rejected living the Celestial Realm/a quiet life on FFM?!"

As for the SWK/LEM child of this verse Xiaoshi ("little rock" cus pebble); Originally I thought to make his creation a "natural" one (wink wink) bonus an accidental prayer to Guanyin. But now Im considering if theme of "rocks" could play an extra part in his creation.

It probably occurs sometime after the initial "betrayal-to-forgiveness-to-maybe lovers?" plotline.

Something like...

(The Pilgrims are staying at a temple of Guanyin. Cherry is trying out this whole prayer thing Tripitaka has been teaching him)

Cherry: "...Amitabha. Hope I did that one right." Olive: "You really think a silly sutra is going to convince the gods to give you what you want?" Cherry, shrugs: "Its a start. If I do enough of them that might let me take this stupid gold headband off." Olive: "Then what?" Cherry: "What?" Olive: "When you get the headband off - what will you pray for?" Cherry: *thinks for a while* Cherry, quietly: "...a family." Olive, softens a bit: "Just... that?" Cherry: "I never had one before. Would be nice to start one. Like, I wanna be the kinda dad that hugs their kid and tells them how much I love them everyday! I wanna start as soon as possible!" Olive, fond laugh: "You might be missing a few steps there, hero." Cherry: "Like what???" Olive: "Like, do you plan on making this family with anyone?" Cherry, confused: "Anyone? No probably- OH. You mean like-!" *blushing snort of laughter* "You mean like with a mate!" Olive: "Yes, my king. Unless you plan on making one out of clay. Or adopting." Cherry: "...you can just do that? Make one out of clay?" Olive: "Huh? No, it's a joke. It's said that the goddess Nuwa made the first humans out of the clay." Cherry, disappointed: "Oh. I still would like to though..." Guanyin, listening in: >:3 *blesses* (later when the gang are camping on the road) Olive: "What are you doing?" Cherry, forming wet clay around a pebble: "Trying to see if I can do the same thing Nuwa did." Olive: "Nuwa was a literal creation goddess, I don't think you could-" Cherry: *has sad hopeful look in his eyes* Olive: *sighs* "Ok, move over. You need something for the clay bind together too." (later) *An "Egg" made of clay, road dust, and whatever they could find is made, and hardening in the sun* Both Monkeys: *covered in filth* Cherry: "That was fun!" Olive: "Surprisingly so." The "Egg": *suddenly starts giving off a weird energy signature* Both Monkeys: Σ( O_O) (O_O ;) Stick, humming: "oh you dum-dums."

Cherry and Olive have an awkward time explaining to the rest of the Pilgrims that they may have accidentally made a new Stone Monkey together. Tripitaka and Zhu Bajie gets grossed out looks on their faces before Sha Wujing whispers that they meant literally - hence the weird clay/stone egg they have wrapped up in a basket.

The Clay Egg bares witness to a lot of weirdness on it's travels with the Pilgrims. Eventually it hatches in a dramatic fashion - only Olive noticed at first cus of super-hearing - and the fight/conflict they were in was immediately forgotten.

An infant monkey falls out of the clay shell, chirping and reaching for a hug. As you can imagine, Olive and Cherry nearly crash into one another answering the baby's request.

Xiaoshi is named for the fact that he started out as "just a pebble".

Also I find it funny if the little monkey known for making art, started out life as a clay art project between his parents. XD

#the monkey king netflix #the monkey king 2023 #jttw inspo character ideas #jttw inspo fan children #six eared macaque #liu er mihou #sun wukong #cherryandolivestones #jttw inspo ocs

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romeoisalesbian · 11 months

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look man i just wanna ramble about romeo & juliet because it's a play that's near and dear to my heart

ok ok SO.

I feel like I keep seeing the take that Romeo & Juliet is REALLY about how dumb teens are and how their love was too impulsive and it's supposed to be a cautionary tale because their love gets them both dead.

And that's a fine takeaway I think! That's something you CAN get from the story. BUt I must confess it makes little sense to me.

I may be foolish, but I feel like everyone forgets about the whole familial conflict aspect of the play. like bro the first lines of the entire thign are like "hey guys there are these two families that ahte each other SO MUCH and they have FOREVER and now they're murdering each other." the first scene is about how the Montagues and the Capulets super duper hate each other so much so they're gonna square up in the middle of town with swords and shit after flipping each other off a few times

The turning point of the play, when it shifts from a silly romcom to a Balls Wrenching Tragedy, occurs firmly when Tybalt kills Mercutio.

THe actual romance aspect of the play is going FINE until this point! Romeo and Juliet the couple are pretty on the same page about everything happening in their relationship (even if that page is guided by impulse). Romeo is pretty jazzed at the start of the murder scene, and is in fact entirely unwilling to do the murder thing at all.

BUT! Tybalt is kinda a dick! And IS NOT willing to overlook the whole family-conflict-clown thing. And Tybalt's whole "i need to challenge romeo right this instant oh my god" impulse has very little to do with Romeo and Juliet's actual relationship. While a lot of adaptations have Tybalt see Romeo and Juliet being all Romantical at the party, textually Tybalt entirely is ready to brawl because Romeo showed up to the Capulet party at all and Tybalt is all Death Before My Rival Commits a Minor Social Faux Pas.

And Romeo murdering Tybalt and getting banished ALSO has little to do with Juliet or their relationship. His bro just died man. Yes it was stupid and impulsive, but man sometimes it's hard to keep your head on straight when your bestie just died (worth noting that Mercutio curses the family conflict itself when he dies!)

Like Romeo's issues all stem from that key interaction with Tybalt, who upholds the family conflicts above all else in every single scene he appears in.

Juliet on the other hand, is in the SHITTIEST situation. Her father is physically abusive towards her, and her parents are pressuring her to be married off to this random dude that is at best mostly well-meaning and adhering to general romance standards and at worst a massive creep (that's something that depends on acting and directing choices, I think. Paul Rudd Paris has never done anything wrong in his life). Juliet is trapped in this situation in which she is surrounded by pressure and abuse and familial conflict and death. It is reasonable to want to escape that at all measures, even if she acts impulsively and doesn't think through every single thing about the Friar's Genius Plan because god how could she in her circumstances?

If you're Juliet, your one escape from a shitty situation and environment is a boy who you firmly believe loves you, even if he has done some weird shit. If you're Romeo, your entire life has fallen apart because an ancient conflict resulted in your best friend dying and you getting banished for murder. What do you have to care for but someone who you think loves you and who you love amidst all the conflict?

To me, so much of the story hangs upon the familial conflict that the ending of the story is representative of a societal failure as opposed to a personal failure of our two leads.

No matter whether you see the relationship between local weenie romeo and local brain cell juliet as true love or as some passing fancy (i personally think it can be considered love but that's a different post for a different time, send me an ask if youre curious), it SHOUDLN'T end in several deaths and two suicides. The reason it does is because of a pointless family conflict our leads are brought up in.

#this is far too long #i just have this ramble in me #apologies for messiness #also it's not a COMPLETE analysis #i think romeo and juliet are lesbians or gay or SOMETHING.#which may influence my interepretation #this is just a play i love man please #theater #theatre #romeo and juliet #romeo + juliet #romeo & juliet #shakespeare #william shakespeare #classic lit #classic literature #please talk to me about romeo and juliet it is in my brain so hard.

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teddybeartoji · 17 hours

Note

mickey !!! mickey !!!!! bonking my head against yours so gently <3333 i’m here with more selfship questions…… the train never stops

first of all!!! mickeyshoko…… i neeeed to know the Lore pls. ALSOOOO what are some ways you express your love for one another??? :3 since it’s not an established relationship exactly (from what i understand!!) i was also wondering how either of you would respond if someone asked if you were dating LMAO… i’m just imagining stsg making bets with each other over it. they’re silly.

AND THEN. mickzai. the kitties of all time. i’d love to know more abt the general dynamic!!! and how you got together!!!!! and also what petnames you call each other :3 bc i feel like dazai would be….. insufferable. genuinely. you need to muzzle him i think.

OK THAT’S ALL here r flowers for you 💐💐 i hope you’re having a cozy day so far!!! and that you’re resting lots and eating lots :3 ilyily <3

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEARIIIII I'M GIGGLING SO BAD RNNNN

misho oh misho..... i still don't have a proper name for us (how ironic lmao)(it's almost like i don't really know what we are huh). anwayyy i like to show my love through acts of service!!!!!! she works so hard so i try to make her life a little easier yk? i spend a lot of time at her place (we're practicaly roomies at this point) and i like to make her coffee in the mornings!!!!!! and at night when she comes home after a long, tiring day i draw her a bath and i was her hair!!!!!!!!! she can just soak and relax while i sit on the edge of the tub and scratch her scalp i'm pretty sure i've heard her purr actually. she usually just peeks at me very lazily with the tiniest little smirks. mm she kinda makes me feel dizzy i won't even lie. she's so effortlessly charming in her own way you know? also to add to the "no lines to cross" thing - nudity is also just very normal. as in there's no shame and no embarrassment, i literally sometimes help to dry her off bc she likes to be a little dramatic and act even more tired (she IS actually that tired but she's trying to make a joke out of it).

and she shows it through physical touch!!!!! hugging from behind as i make the coffee, playing with my hair, sitting on my lap, hands on the waist, kisses on the corners of my lips (???????????????i'm so unwell). and then she always laughs at the little lipstick smudge before wiping it off. anyway all of those things could come off as very relationship-like right???? but no. we're friends. definitely just friends. we both want to dissect each other. as friends.

the dating thing!!!!!! what a good question lmao i think we'd just laugh it off really easily actually. i just go "hmmmm i don't know... are we?" and then we stare at each other and then she just squeezes my thigh with a smile????????????? nothing normal is happening here honestly i think even stsg are a little weirded out hahahshasha even they (by they i mean suguru bc satoru is genuinely stupid sometimes<3) can't figure us out

and not to make myself lose it even more but..... utahime.............. she's not safe from us either lmao. we both have pretty strong gazes i think and we simply can't keep our hands to ourselves. fleeting touches and keen eyes... we like to tease utahime a little. but only in a good FRIENDLY way. we love her she's sooooooo cute.

btw can you tell i'm typing this out just as it comes like the lore is just writing itself at this point. it also seems that i'm making mickeyshoko sound like some predators:333 like yea so what if we're kind of freaks ok it's fun don't judge. blood is cool. humans are cool. we just wanna learn more.

(=◑ᆽ◑=)ฅ(ටᆽට=) this is mizai hehehe. also yes. i rebranded. hehehehehhee anyway. two kitties!!!!!!! two dysfunctional kitties lmao

ok but mizai feels like a we-knew-each-other-when-we-were-kids-but-then-we-didn't-see-each-other-for-years-and-now-we-met-again-but-it's-not-weird-ok-it-is-but-only-a-litte-it's-just-that-the-surpressed-feelings-are-threatening-to-spill-and-that's-a-little-scary

and we have another No Label relationship on our hands fuuuuckk.... anywho. he's coping with this better than i am. no matter how much i shove him around and tease and joke, he flusters me way too easily. it's annoying. and i wanna hate it. but i can't bc it feels so good to link pinkies with him. he's super clingy - he's constantly resting his head on my shoulder, loosely wrapping his arms around my waist, tugging on my sleeves when he wants attention. he boops my nose and pretends to count my freckles.

the tender moments aside, this is still very much a partners-in-crime thing too!!!!!! and i mean that quite literally lmao. we both have authority issues so good luck to anyone who's trying to boss us around; we've definitely also done some schenanigans - stolen some things here and there bc why not, broken into places, trespassing etcetc. it's not even necessarily for the thrill of it, most of the times he's just showing me quiet places where we can just sit with each other. he likes to rest his head on my lap and then talk my ears off. sometimes he falls asleep and i refuse to wake him bc he needs the rest. i kiss his forehead and hope (me when i lie) that he didn't feel it (he did). but yeah the overall dynamic is pretty much just skk i won't even lie. bickering and teasing, petty fights over nothing just bc he likes to rile me up - it's all way too familiar.

he doesn't bring it up though bc he doesn't really know how. he wants more of it but he doesn't know how to ask for it. how to really ask for it. so he'll take whatever he can get and he'll try to push me to give him more because he's greedy!!!! and i will fold and i will, in fact, give him everything soon enough.

he fucking breaks into my apartment all the time btw. and when i offer to idk... give him a key he just goes "eeh, no need." ?????????? idk he's weird. (i like it when he comes over but i won't tell him that)(he'd be way too smug i can't allow that)

when i first got into bsd i didn't really like the bella nickname but honestly... it has grown on me. but yeah overall he uses literallllyyyy every possible nickname that pops into his head i kinda hate him (me when my pants are on fire)(yk bc.. liar liar pants on fire)(whatever). now that i'm thinking abt it i feel like another name he'd call me is just Kitty ????? not in a discord kitten kind of way though he just genuinely sees me as a cat. and he thinks it's funny. and cute (i like the name smhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh)

o wait i didn't even finish the meeting story. he disappeared into thin air at the ripe age of 15 hmmmmmm but he found his way back into my life three years later and then we were inseparable again yayy (there is definitely some angst hidden away in here lmaoo pls i'm scared of angst i don't wanna think abt it)(i wouldn't know how to ask about the missing years)(it sucks)

OKEEEEEEE THIS WAS A BIG RAMBLEEE I HOPE YOU CAN UNDERSTAND EVERYTHING HEHEHEHEHE it really is so fucking fun to delve into these holy fucking shit. like i'm learning things abt myself too lmaoo

YAYAAA OKAY ARIIII THANK YOU SOOO MUCH FOR THE QUESTIONS I LOVE YOU SOSOSO BAD I HOPE YOUR DAY IS GOING WELL AND I HOPE YOU SLEPT WELL AND I JUST NEED YOU TO BE WELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I CAN'T WAIT TO HEAR MORE ABT YOUR SELFSHIPS TOO I AM ALWAYS READY TO LEARN MORE!!!!! MWAH MWAH MWAH MY FAVOURITE LITTLE IRIS<33333333

#THIS GOT SOOOOOO LLONG HELLOOO???#anyway #btw ari.... idk how well u remember the vampire au shoko.... but i think that dynamic is just literally us #like we're just so curious abt each other #and so open #nothing is weird (although to others EVERYTHING IS WEIRD)#we don't mind #and the mizai kittens hehehehe super evil laughter #we take naps together all the time btw #just like cats!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#it's just a pile of Cat hehehehe #I LOVE YOUUUUUUU SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#DRINK TEA AND EAT!!!!!!!!#I HOPE THE SUN IS WARMING YOU UP!!!!!!!!!!!#YOU DESERVE EVERYTHING IN THE WHOLE WORLD!!!!!!!!!#ari <3 #friends!!#misho #mizai

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blasphemecel · 1 year

Text

Portgas D. Ace — Kind Of, Maybe

PAIRING: Portgas D. Ace/Reader WORD COUNT: 4.1k TYPE: Friends to Lovers, Fluff & Humor, a little Pining, Modern AU WARNING(S): Drunken shenanigans at one point, Reader is a dangerous driver (inspired by my friend who has almost done in almost all of us), A few NSFW jokes

It’s not often that Ace is the more sensible one or the less idiotic one. After he came back from a trip overseas, however, you were unfortunately the only one who was available to pick him up from the airport. He’s never been in your car before, but he has heard Sabo’s horror stories about your driving. Sabo banned Luffy from driving with you when he alarmingly claimed it sounded like fun, but he never banned Ace from being your passenger, and sometimes Ace wonders if Sabo even cares about him.

Yes, he’s a grown ass man and Sabo can’t ban him from anything, and yes he’s being melodramatic, but those are just semantics.

He’s spacing out contemplating this grave danger he’s in, not paying attention to you until your voice brings him out from his stupor. You still have one hand around the wheel while you’re holding up your phone with the other. “Yeah man, that’s my order. Hey, Ace, what flavor of pizza do you want?”

“Eyes on the road!” he cries, realizing you’ve turned to look at him.

“Eyes on the road, I don’t think that’s a flavor. Oh, wait, he’s talking about me,” you say, looking ahead again. “Ok, you can make it a veggie then.”

“You know I don’t like that one,” he says, glaring at you. You’ve gotta be doing it on purpose.

You roll your eyes in annoyance. “He’s such a diva. Change the veggie to a barbecue. Ok, thanks. Love you.”

“Why are you telling the pizza person you love them?”

“I have no idea,” you say, throwing your phone to the backseat.

“You’re a very dangerous person, you know that?” asks Ace.

With a flick of your hand, you dismiss his concerns and take a turn. Through a suspicious squint, Ace vaguely recalls these streets, but they don’t lead to his and his brothers’ house.

“You’re going in the wrong direction.”

“I thought we’re going to my house,” you say.

“Why would we be going there?”

“To eat, moron.”

Ace doesn’t even remember agreeing to this — probably because you didn’t bother asking him if he wants any — but he sighs and gives in without a word since you already ordered for him, too, and it’s not like he would’ve denied your invitation in the first place. Instead he chooses to change the subject.

“Does your car have a name?” he blurts out.

“What?”

“You seem like the kinda douche who’d have a car named Becky or something.”

“Shut up,” you say, reaching out to punch him in the shoulder, but try to concentrate on driving again before he starts wailing about his ‘safety’ and how you guys are going to ‘die.’ “If my car had a name, it’d be something cool like Orgasmtron-3000.”

He snorts at you, eyes crinkling at your stupidity. “Pfft. That’s lame and you know it.”

“You wouldn’t get it,” you declare with a flippant hand gesture before you turn up your nose like a snob. Ace really wishes you’d watch the damn road, but the scenery becomes more familiar the longer the drive goes on. Somehow the two of you are still intact by the time you pull up near your apartment complex.

He’s only ever swung by your place for late night parties and his memories of those times are foggy at best. Now, it’ll be different: 1. Both of you will be sober, and 2. The other borderline alcoholics won’t be there to keep you company. The thought makes him a little nervous suddenly, even though he knows it’s silly. It’s just you. And he survived the ride so it’s a tad too late to be stressed.

“Soo, how was your trip?” you ask once you’ve both made it inside the elevator.

“Fun at times, not so fun at others,” he tells you, pressing the button for the floor you live on since he’s closer. “You know how it is.”

“Wow, you’re so descriptive.”

“Aw, like you really wanna listen to all that.”

This is unlike him since Ace loves chewing your ears off with his stories, though you suppose he’s not inebriated enough to start telling you about the time he and Sabo pissed in a pond and got arrested. Which is something you’ve heard about around fifteen times at your get-togethers.

You smile your usual sharp and evil little grin, inching closer to him, his nose hovering near yours, breath mingling. “What if I do?”

Ace tilts his head to the side, not understanding what you’re getting at. “I don’t know? I’d tell you, I guess.”

The elevator doors open and you back away from him like nothing had happened, face slacking, leading the way to your apartment. He follows in your stead and you two spend some time catching up for a few minutes until the pizza arrives. You act like you’ve forgotten you ordered it already, which doesn’t surprise him, but Ace would also rather give himself a noogie than miss out on free food.

Your return is cause for celebration enough, so he cheers and you bow while balancing the two boxes in your hands.

“You even got the biggest ones,” he points out with a genuine sense of wonder, like you’ve made him the happiest man alive by buying some shit full of grease. You place them on the table, re-taking your spot next to him on the couch.

“What can I say? My riches precede me.” Not to mention you had a discount on that, but you’re not about to tell him lest your delusions of luxury shatter.

“Not to be that guy, but that’s… not how you use that word.”

At his response, you scoff. “Go to Italy once and you start thinking you’re all fancy.”

“You’re an idiot,” he says, nudging you in the ribs and laughing at your expense once more. Your scowling only gets more intense, but then he stops when an idea crosses his mind. He reaches for another slice and then he brings it up to your face like he’s trying to tempt a horse with carrots. “Try some of mine. It’s really good.”

“Sure,” you concede, parting your mouth, about to take a bite. If you’re generous (which you’d insist you are, usually), you might even share yours.

At this moment Ace falls asleep with his head landing on your shoulder. Both of his pizza slices end up on your shirt and one of his arms dangles around your waist. Your eye twitches as visions of washing these new stains enter your mind. For a second you contemplate kicking him out to get robbed or something, but you end up letting him doze on you anyway.

___

You’re laying down on your towel and Ace invited himself to sit on it, too, in front of you under the parasol. It’s cramped and you don’t have enough space to stretch your legs without exposing them to the harsh sun. Besides, you’d overdramatized how you burned your soles when you guys were settling down earlier. “Why’d you even wanna go to the beach? You can’t even swim.”

“I told you already!” You can imagine the dumb expression he’s making with ease, even though you can only see him rubbing the back of his head. “I wanted to go boating with you. And then I forgot to take the boat…”

Ignoring how idiotic that is, you say, “I think you just like having an excuse to be shirtless.”

Ace clicks his tongue, your remark reminding him of something. “They actually still do that dresscode thing at restaurants, can you believe that?”

You can believe that considering he got kicked out on your birthday a few years ago for showing up in just an unbuttoned shirt, a ridiculous cowboy hat and crocs. Then you had to sneak him in through the bathroom window. Sometimes your genius mind astounds you.

“No, that’s totally a shock,” you say in the most genuine tone you can muster. A thought crosses your mind, and that never ends in anything good, but regardless you proceed.

You grace Ace with a light kick to the back, and he turns around with a small frown on his lips. “Why am I your foot scrubber all of a sudden?”

“Ace, I’m bored,” you tell him. “I wanna bury you in the sand.”

He pushes your legs away from him to fry on the scorching sands, which makes you glare at him, and then he protests, “No way! Not if I bury you first.”

Your instinctual reaction is to sit up and try to put him in a chokehold, which leads him to mumble something about you being a raging sociopath under his breath, but he wrestles out of your hold without too much trouble. What ensues next is a series of swats and pushing at each other as well as incoherent screams about who’s going to be a ‘sandy loser.’ Many bystanders stare incredulously at your childish display.

At one point, Ace manages to get you to lie back down. Not restraining your wrists or anything is definitely an unwise move, but he manages to lose his balance somehow and he tumbles over you, finding his chest pressed against yours, faces dangerously close together. Again, he gets this sort of sheepish nervousness in this proximity, even though it’s not unusual for you to touch each other. Something about this is different though, with his lips almost ghosting over yours. A queasy feeling torments his stomach.

Everything stills, and Ace swallows dryly before he clenches his fists by your sides. Alright, this is the moment. He lowers his eyelids, mentally preparing himself to give you a quick peck, but you interrupt his plans of romance by rolling over and flipping your positions so you’re straddling him now.

The sand feels unbearably hot on his back. Whatever mood he was in before is surely ruined now and you let out an evil laugh of triumph before you pour some over his abdomen, too.

“Wait, ouch, it burns,” he pleads, but you ignore him and continue with your task of burying him. “Seriously, you’re vicious!”

“Shut up. I won.”

Ace pushes you off, but you slip away and bolt towards the water. When you throw a glance over your shoulder and realize he’s following you, you don’t make it past the shallows. After one step in, he backs away with exaggerated fright. “It’s cold.”

“It’s so hot this, it's so cold that,” you say, crossing your arms and shifting your weight to one hip. “You’re such a baby.” Then, unprovoked, you splash him by swiping your leg across the water and laugh to yourself as if it’s really funny.

Ace stands upright and shivers like a hideous wet animal as a result. Still, your douchebaggery is the only motivation he needs to resolve to waddle in and try to get revenge on you while you walk sideways like a crab in your attempt at avoiding him.

Noticing your refusal to go any deeper, Ace halts with a smile. “Aw, you don’t want me to drown,” he says.

“Come on, what do you think I am-”

He takes the opportunity to pull you forward by the arms into himself and you both fall down, with him on his ass and you on your knees, almost bumping your head into his nose before you adjust yourself. You deadpan,

“What, so now we’re gonna sit here and play like toddlers?”

As if this wasn’t what you were doing before, anyway.

“Well, it’s easier to do this now,” he says, splashing you in the face. A seaweed ends up on your forehead and Ace almost dies laughing while you spit out water and rub your eye.

“Remember what you said about me not wanting you to drown?”

“Yeah?”

“I don’t care anymore!”

With this declaration, Ace can only dart out of the water in a panic and run back to the parasol before you really lunge and kill him.

___

When Ace sees he has a text from you, he makes the mistake of smiling. It must mean you’re planning some outing since that’s usually why you message him, but then he unlocks his phone and swipes to your contact, and his grin falls immediately, replaced by a look of puzzlement.

butt-head Do you take it up the ass

Beavis ??????????

butt-head Lol Sorry wrong chat

Beavis who tf are u texting that

butt-head Nunya

Beavis never heard of him

butt-head Nunya Business 😎😎😎😎

Beavis seriously doesn’t ring a bell

butt-head Dude

Idiot do u know a guy named nunya business

sabo-kins You can’t be serious?

Idiot is he rich or something

sabo-kins ACE?????????

Idiot i mean his last name is business

___

You’re having the time of your life, surrounded by several friends on the island seat while you pre-game even though there isn’t even a game. In other words, you’re piss drunk and everyone’s laughing up a storm at your story. Thatch almost chokes on his own spit when you finish off with, “And then he told Sabo, ‘I mean, his last name is Business.’”

Ace, sitting to your left, narrows his eyes at you in suspicion over the lid of his glass. “So, what, you mean to tell me Nunya Business doesn’t-” and then before he can finish his sentence, once he hears himself aloud, he stops talking and blinks in amazement. “Wow, I can’t believe I fell for that.”

“Me neither,” you howl, slapping your knee even though it’s not that funny.

“C’mon, you’re an asshole,” he says, butting into your side, though at the cost of almost falling off his bar stool. Ace swings an arm over your shoulder and brings you closer while you squint your eyes at him like he’s blurry. He kind of is, from your point of view.

“That’s not what Nunya said last night.”

He barks out a fake laugh at that, then immediately turns serious, returning your squinting. “Stop. I won’t fall for it again.”

“Whateverrr,” you slur, throwing an arm around his waist, too.

“Like, I totally won’t.”

“Hahahaha,” you say, not really laughing, but the corners of your mouth quirk up regardless. Then you nudge him like he nudged you when you ordered pizza that one time. “What’s Nunya Business to you, anyway?”

“It’s really not funny. I thought you were cheatin’ on me,” he whines, resting his head on your shoulder.

You’re too far gone to question why he’s suddenly decided you’re dating, so you place your head on his. “I’d never do that! It was the good old wrong chat maneuver.”

“[Y/nnnnnnnnn]…”

“Aceeeeeeeeeee…”

“What’s wrong with them?” Marco mutters, downing another shot of whiskey, while Thatch shrugs as if to say ‘just the regular idiocy.’

“You know,” he starts, then he shoots upright, knocking you away from him, leaving you to rub your forehead. With more determination this time, he starts over and raises his index finger high in the air. “You know, I’d- I’d get a tattoo of your name.”

You’re sure he didn’t plan to say that and just made it up on the spot and you’re also pretty sure he doesn’t mean it. Still, you’ll entertain the notion as if he’s being genuine instead of drunken gibberish. “Hmm.” Then you poke him on the biceps before you start squeezing it, rubbing your chin while deep in thought. “I don’t want that, though. You couldn’t even spell yours right.”

“It’s not meant to be my name,” he says. “I told you like, a million times. After you called me Asce once in front of everyone, remember? And the lady taking our reservations thought my name was Asce…”

“Aceeeeeeeeeee…” you cry again.

“[Y/nnnnnnnn]…” Ace spreads his arms then, trying to hug you.

“‘m sorry.” You pucker your lips like in a cartoon, trying to land one big gross kiss to his forehead.

In a fit of narcolepsy, Ace’s eyes flutter shut and he falls over the counter while you suddenly hurl over his shoulder before you start coughing, gagging on your own vomit. In a way, his abrupt nap saved him since at least his face didn’t meet this fate. And, okay, maybe you both had too much to drink just this once.

Marco jams a thumb in your direction and sighs as if to say ‘See? Idiots.’

___

You wake up with a throbbing headache, though at least you find you’re in your bed, which means you made it home without getting run over or something. Your phone blares, apparently in need of your attention, and you lean over to retrieve it.

Beavis we need to talk about last night

Uh oh. Your memories of whatever transpired yesterday are vague at best, but you don’t recall a situation when someone said this to you after a night of drinking that ended up well. You try to mask your ignorance with a neutral reply.

butt-head What about it

Beavis i cant believe u let me think nunya was a real person for a week straight?!?!?!

Oh, wait, yeah. You were telling that story to Marco and Thatch at the bar. You send a voice message of your obnoxious laughter for a minute straight in response.

___

You can’t believe Luffy has your ass playing Hide and Seek right now.

Sabo and Ace are busy until tomorrow morning and apparently he doesn’t enjoy being left alone for so long, so Ace asked you to do him a ‘small’ favor and keep him company until tomorrow morning. You like Luffy well enough to accept, and now here you are.

Though you expected he would’ve busted your ass by now. A part of you wishes he would since your limbs are all growing numb the longer you hold this position. You can hear speaking from outside, though with your position it’s all too muffled to make out. Then footsteps near Ace’s room, where you’re hiding, and you think finally Luffy is going to find you.

The door opens then shuts again, which you find kind of odd, and then something outside rustles. Maybe Luffy is checking if you’re under the bed? You can imagine him doing so.

After a while of nothing, the closet door opens.

It’s not Luffy you come face-to-face with, but Ace. His eyes widen in surprise as do yours while you stare at each other.

“Uh,” he starts while you pretend you don’t notice that he’s almost naked.

“I can explain,” you say.

“Nah. Luffy told me you guys are playing.”

He backs away and you shuffle around until you make it out of the cramped space while Ace nonchalantly leans over to rummage for pajamas. Something crosses your mind then. “I thought you’re coming back tomorrow?”

“Oh, uh… My thing ended early,” he tells you, slipping a t-shirt over his head and adjusting it. He totally didn’t bail to see you since he knew you’d be here. That’d be stupid.

You seem to catch onto this, though, because you grin and lower your eyelids at him, looking smug. Inching closer with crossed arms, you ask, “Did it now?”

“Depends on what you’re gonna do about it,” he chances, deciding to play your game.

How you’re about to continue, he’s not sure, but you jostle when you feel a tap on your shoulder. “Found you,” Luffy says, unimpressed.

“Don’t sneak up on me like that.” You level him with your trademark glare.

“You’re not very good at this game,” he says.

“What? You were looking for me for forever!”

“Touchy about Hide and Seek, aren’t you?” Ace asks with a laugh, in slight disbelief of your immaturity.

“Shut up, no one’s talking to you, bedhead.”

“Bedhead?! You like my hair and you know it.”

“I mean,” Luffy continues as if you and Ace aren’t having another unnecessary argument, “you’re just standing here in plain sight.”

“I so wasn’t!” With finality, you turn towards Ace. “Anyway, now that you’re here, I guess I can go home, right?”

“I mean, you can stay, too.”

“Like I wanna sleep on the couch.”

“Wait,” he says, and he wants to offer for you to share the bed with him or something, but instead what comes out of his mouth at the last second is, “you didn’t drive Luffy anywhere, right?”

You stare at him like you find him stupid and incredulous. “No?”

“Okay ‘cause Sabo banned it.”

With a roll of your eyes, you step out of the room, and then you notice Ace is trailing after you. “What do you want?”

“Nothing, geez.”

“Ok, but Sabo is so dramatic. I’m very good at driving.”

Ace assesses you with a disbelieving look.

“Fuck you.”

“Have a safe drive home.”

“Seriously, I’m so serious right now, fuck you.”

“Wait, I didn’t mean it like that,” Ace says, holding up your jacket for you so you can slide your arms inside. “But maybe you need it,” he adds when you’re on the brink of letting it go, sounding amused.

Instead of saying goodbye like a normal person, you hold up your hand and tell him to talk to it.

___

Your car pulls up into view and for the first time, Ace is grateful. The feeling doesn’t last for longer than fifteen seconds, though, because you roll down the window and announce, “Orgasmtron-3000 and I are in the house tonight.”

He sighs and walks over with reasonable embarrassment (even though there’s no one else around to witness this), opening the passenger seat door before he sits down next to you. He slams the door closed, you don’t start up the car, and instead you tap your hands against the steering wheel. Then you give the abandoned gas station a look-over. “How’d you end up here, anyway?”

“Got lost,” he mumbles.

“Verbose as usual, Ace.”

“Verbose,” he repeats in a snotty tone, failing to imitate your voice.

For the first time, you ignore this. He raises an eyebrow when you don’t take the opportunity to start some entirely avoidable fight, and instead you evaluate him for a little before you smile. With your eyebrows furrowed, though, you appear kind of sinister rather than playful.

“What?”

“Uh-huh, what?” you snarl, trying to sound like a caveman to imply he’s a dunce.

Now Ace is pouting at you since he’s not all that good at glaring, not like you are, and then you remember what it was you were trying to do, or maybe you just get the nerve now. You settle your hand on his exposed knee since he’s wearing one of his hideous pairs of shorts with designs on them and say,

“We’re alone right now.”

Like an idiot, he looks around and nods and ignores the goosebumps which break out at the unexpected contact. “Yeah, we are.”

“I wanna kiss you, ok?”His cheeks redden and burn and Ace stares at you like you gave him a jumpscare. He averts his line of sight and, “Then… Then what’s stopping you?”

You shrug. “Nothing now, I guess.”

You unbuckle your seatbelt to get the slightest bit closer to him and he kind of just waits for you to make a move, like he’s scared you’re going to change your mind if you detect even a twitch from him. With your free hand you trace his nape and he leans in, tilting his head until your lips meet half-way even though it’s not the most comfortable within the confines of your car.

Ace grabs you by the waist and tries to pull you closer. You comply, jumping into his lap, and you’re kind of aggressive and harsh with the way you move now like Ace had imagined you’d be whenever he’d think about this before. Your nerves are on fire as if you’ve been waiting to feel his silken lips and the tickle of his breath under your nose for too long. And you have.

You move on from his mouth to his jaw, peppering him with little kisses while he turns to give you one on the temple, tightening his hold against your waist. Then you lick down his neck, all his hairs standing alert. When you find a spot you think will be easy to hide, you suck on the skin near his collarbone and Ace lets out a sigh, surprised to feel so sensitive there.

After you part, you take a moment to hold each other’s gazes. He loosens his grip on you and breaks eye contact.

“I, ya know,” he says, an admission of some sort. Though maybe he doesn’t need to say anything, it feels good to acknowledge it for once even if it’s scary, even if he doesn’t know why exactly you wanted to smush faces with him. Or maybe he doesn’t need to say anything because you’ve always been kind of together, haven’t you?

Your eyes turn to crescents and you give him your malicious, toothy grin. “I ya know you too.”

Ace sulks, shoulders slumping at your remark. “You’re still a jerk, though.”

#one piece x reader #one piece imagine #portgas ace x you #portgas ace x reader #portgas d. ace x reader #one shot

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