#so this post is brought to you by me being quirky and relatable
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it's so hard to be nice to yourself. you don't even notice until you try!
i've long passed the time i genuinely hated myself, but to this day it's a struggle not to devalue myself out of habit
and it's in EVERYTHING! even things that don't sound that bad, but when i reevaluate the situation, i realize i was secretly sad about it :/
when someone offers to help you with something, THERE IS NO NEED TO APOLOGIZE! no more "sorry for bothering you with this" or "if it's not a bother"
people love feeling needed! knowing they did something nice for you makes them happy as well!
when someone asks if you're alright, or mentions you look down, THERE IS NO NEED TO APOLOGIZE! "sorry for ruining the mood"? "sorry for making you worry"?
get over yourself! THEY made the decision to be concerned for your well-being, and they made the decision to ask you about it!
IT APPLIES TO SO MANY THINGS!
THERE IS NO NEED TO APOLOGIZE!
being polite is good, but it erects boundaries.
being polite is good, but keeping the people you hold dear at arm's length is not.
accept that people can see things in you that you don't. and you can still believe them.
learn that you don't need to accomplish anything great to deserve respect, both from others and yourself.
most of myself is unknown to me, unless it's spoken back at me.
if someone says you're kind, and you disagree? your actions spoke you kindness into the world, and it was spoken back at you.
be nice to yourself.
#say “thank you” instead of “sorry” etc etc#i've been having strong feelings about things lately#anyway my friend offered to help me out with something and my first reaction was to assure them they don't NEED to help#which pissed me off because they obviously know that. my brain has no business stressing me out like that#so this post is brought to you by me being quirky and relatable#mental health#mochi thinks#late night thoughts
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So tired of lateral ableism coming from autistics and ADHDers who have symptoms that aren’t severely debilitating. Like just because you don’t need meds or accommodations to function or you can conform well/adapt to NT society to a certain point doesn’t mean other autistics or ADHDers will also be able to?
This post brought to you by a group of people getting frustrated at us for being unable to keep up with a game, us saying “sorry I didn’t take my meds today” and them ALL glaring at me and scoffing about how well they haven’t been on ADHD meds for years. Every single person in the room (there were more than 2 other people). Like ok, good for you, I NEED them to function?? (and even then, I still can’t “pass” as NT.)
We feel so out of place even around other people who are also autistic and/or ADHD. Because so often the other(s) will show just enough traits to seem a bit quirky/odd to NTs, but not get read as visibly ND (except maybe under unusual circumstances, but generally speaking, they can mask effectively enough that NTs wouldn’t perceive them as “having something wrong with them”) but we’re noticeably “slow/r-worded” in a way we’re frequently, under normal, non-extreme circumstances, unable to hide. We’ve heard so many things about how other autistics and ADHDers found other neurodivergent folks and finally felt safe and comfortable after a lifetime of being judged in NT-dominated social circles, and we wish we could relate to that, but honestly we don’t feel any safer with someone just because they’re also autistic/ADHD, because in our experience they’re just as likely to be ableist to us as NTs. Sometimes even worse, because at least NTs can’t say “well *I* can handle (insert task) and I’m autistic/ADHD too so what’s YOUR excuse?”
But yeah. Some of y’all hate to acknowledge that autistics and ADHDers with higher support needs than you exist and you’re quick to throw the rest of us under the bus just because you’re so desperate to make autism and/or ADHD seem more palatable to NTs. Moderate-higher support needs neurodivergents shouldn’t have to beg lower support needs neurodivergents to have solidarity with us.
#lateral ableism#autism#adhd#audhd#neurodivergent#moderate support needs#high support needs#low support needs#medium support needs#autistic#actually autistic#actually adhd#actually audhd#ableism#disabled#disability#developmentally disabled#developmental disabilities#disabled acceptance#disability issues#disabled community#neurodivergent community#audhd things#level 2 autism#disabled solidarity#learning disabled#rant#semi speaking autistic#semi verbal
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Related to my prev post:
I don't give two shits if Bruce is written like a bad dad if it means we get good writing for everybody else since i think minorities are more important than a white cishet male nepotism baby unlike his butch lesbian counterpart who's judaism is an actual fundamental part of her character and since he's been written as abusive so consistently over the years it's in-character anyway
Dick can be both bi/pan and demisexual and there's more evidence for the latter than the former so making him be sexually loose is aspec erasure and mspec stereotyping and he dosen't have a thing for redheads,he has a thing for black women and to me the only guy he seems to like romantically is Roy and that adds on to his demisexuality since they're childhood best friends
'Catholic guilt Jason' is a shit headcanon that misses the major and critical part of him being Red Hood that he didn't feel the slightest bit bad about killing people and the point of his redemption was learning remorse,afrolatino Jason isn't based on stereotyping but him filling out so many black and latino cultural aspects and if any hcs for him are stereotyping it's the one that he's a slut because he's a very handsome and hot and cute goth punk man
Tim is perfect the way he is and dosen't need power ups or to get 'punished' for the oh so horrible crime of being a realistic teenage boy,he's not JUST huge a loser or a super cool dude but both at once and it's bad writing and fetishistic to ignore his wide range of relathionships that consists of mostly of women to make him a 'guys guy'
Stephanie is heavily autistic and bpd-coded so she's far from a 'normie',much less an 'it girl' but people see blonde hair and blue eyes and throw away everything else about her because that's all she's worth to them or call her an abuser and a pick me just like they do irl bpdtistic women and she's also canonically pastel/indie punk and a Team Mom but gets her presentation switched to basic and made out to be a womanchild instead
Cass had a million times more moral conflict than Jason ever did,would never in her LIFE wanna be feminine even in the chinese way and would be butch in it instead,turning her scattered speech into sign language is ableist not unlike(but not on the same level as)changing Babs' type of wheelchair disability and she'd be a better Batman than any male character in existense
Duke is only a golden child in the sense he has a yellow motif and is as disruptive and authentically quirky as his siblings,We Are Robin is a better team than the canon Outlaws,his powers are cooler than any Al-Ghul ones you could come up with,he has more femme energy than Tim does and Carrie Kelley ain't shit and only gets brought back to replace him because DC is antiblack
Damian's introduction mentality was a result of not only child abuse but also psychological grooming to get him to dehumanize himself and all his bigoted comments are explained either by him being like 12 or his writers trying to demonize brown people and anybody who thinks he's a bad person is a super-sized pissbaby with no sympathy for kids of color,shipping him with Jon is making a bisexual man into a ped0phile and Jay is good even if aging Jon up wasn't and he should be friends with Maya,Suren,Nell,Colin,Kathy,Maps,Tai and Miles,Gwen,Peni,Pavitr,Hobie and Margo from Atsv and Nico and Hazel from Pjo instead of Billy Batson or Danny Fenton or ANY Mcu characters
Talia is super hot but should be drawn in accurate arab clothes instead 'sexy assasian gear'(not that these two can't co-exist but you get what i mean),her personality is extremely rich and her stories are mega interesting,she's a good mom to Damian and literally never 'took advantage of Jason' seeing as That Scene In Lost Days was decanonized by it's writer who said it was ooc for her on his part,she should've been a mom figure to Stephanie in her Robin Days too since they would get along and she deserved her own run where she takes over Lexcorp to transform it into a force for good and become Superfam-adjacent to free herself from having only male connections
#batfam#batfanon slander#anti bruce wayne#dick grayson#jason todd#tim drake#stephanie brown#cassandra cain#duke thomas#damian wayne#talia al-ghul#dickkory#dickbabs#dickbea#dickhelena#dickroy#afrolatino jason supremacy#autistic stephanie brown#bpd stephanie brown#butch cassandra cain#batman!cass#trans duke thomas#autistic duke thomas#jon kent#jay nakamura#pro jonay#taliacorp#misc superfam#blasian stephanie brown#summerposting
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(The following is age regression related, if you dont like it dont read it, please and thank you!)
Caregiver Billy x Agere Fem Reader
(Post star court billy)
A super long, Hella fluffy, drable
TW: cursing and uh idk cigarettes (i mean its billy hargrove)
(I DO NOT CONSIDER MYSELF A GOOD WRITER SO SORRY IN ADVANCE FOR THE LONG ASS DRABLE)
✨sleep tight little bunny✨
You feel like You’ve hardly slept in the last 3 days. The nightmares were back again, To be fair the coming of cooler weather brought the fear that the residents of the upside down might return. It had been several months since the star court incident. Although Life for the most part was..well….normal again? The group had now gained a new member, Billy, which…definitely took some getting used to.
Needless to say the near death experience and learning about the horrors of the “upside down” changed him. Billy was no longer a complete ass to steve or max, hes still a bit cold and stand offish but nowhere near the levels from before. With Billy now in the group that ment one more classmate got to learn about your…um quirky tendencies? Well thats how you’d like to put it to others who dont know, but to the group of teens you hang out with…they know it’s a coping mechanism. Steve, Robin and dustin deal with your age regression the most, although the entire group of kids know and occasionally set up “little days” just being carefree.
Billy however is still a bit confused by all this. it’s definitely weird, not as weird as being attacked and nearly killed by a giant monsters, and being around a girl with superpowers but still odd and new? His summer experience had completely changed him, the old billy would have made your life a living hell. Hes tried to be sweet and brotherly, believe me it peaks through, but he also knows you tend to hide your “little side” if hes around (Steve and a couple of kids let him in on that part). Hell he used to be a bully, he gets it, the fear was still there….though He’d be lying if he wasn’t curious as to why group was so fond of “little” you
But here we are…..
Somehow you found yourself being picked up by none other than billy hargrove.?? Uh what?
All you wanted was some fresh air.
You were just sitting on your front porch steps, head down in a sleepless daze with your leg bouncing from being just overall tired and jittery. When a familiar car stops out front.
“Hey!! You seen Harrington?” You slowly looked up and shook your head.
“nope sorry hes still at work”
“Damn it”
“hes not off work for a couple hrs, what do you need?”
“Nothing…it’s personal, you ok? You look like hell.”
“Oh fuck you, it’s also personal” you groan and rub your temples looking up at the grey clouds that gathered above.
“Uhhuh, ya sure about that?”
“Look im ok I just haven’t slept much in a couple days.” You didnt even bother looking back down but You could tell Billy’s blue eyes were just staring you down, and after a few moments you heard his car door open. “Get in” Billy had leaned over to open the passenger door. You didn’t want to go with him, but you didn’t want to feel like a sitting duck in your own home either so you groaned, made your way over and plopped down on the seat. It was pointless to argue with him, so you sank into back of the car seat and looked over, “uh ..so whats the plan here exactly?” “Gonna kill two birds with one stone” he mumbled as he took off in the direction of Steve’s place. “Umm ok? And why do I have to go along?”
“You get to nap at Harrington’s place and i get grab the stuff he borrowed from me.”
You looked out the window and chuckled “damn is it that obvious? Do i look that bad?” You tried to sound sarcastic.
Billy glanced down, noticing that you were back to anxiously bouncing your leg again Unfortunately yeah” you felt a hand press down on your knee causing you to jump as u gave billy a panicked look. He raised his hand to back off and huffed “easy with the leg thing, it shakes the whole car, and yeah i know you tend to sneak off to his place to nap anyway..” his brows where knit with concern “you sure your good..? Look i can stop and get you something or..” “no im ok” you cut him off and turned your gaze back to the window.
The curly haired blonde took a deep breath and drummed his fingers on the steering wheel, trying not to get angry with your short attitude. He bit his lip for a moment thinking of something to say to bring you back to your normal self. You definitely have seemed off for about a week now, and dustin had mentioned something of importance a few days before? But what exactly was it? Was it maybe needing a regression day?
“Y/n…doll, when was the last time you, ya know..?”
He shifted in his seat following a short pause
“Uhh? U wanna finish that thought or what?” You glanced back, looking irritated and exhausted.
He took a deep breath and softened his tone “when was the last time you were small?”
The car fell silent and You simply shrugged and mumbled. “Hell idk few weeks maybe? Why exactly does that matter to you?”
He knew where this was heading, the inevitable “push back”. But he still wanted to give it a shot since both main caregivers would be at work for several more hrs and you clearly needed some TLC.
He pulled into Steve’s driveway and killed the engine. Billy tried to keep his tone nonchalant to avoid making it feel weird and looked at you from the rear view mirror “i mean i dunno ..Just seems like you might need it?”
“I dont need shit from you” you mumble, as you got out and slammed the passenger door. Yep just as expected. Hargrove bit his lip again and stepped out behind you, as you grabbed the spare key the family kept hidden and stepped inside, practically collapsing face down on the familiar couch in the living room.
‘This is gonna suck’, billy thought.
Steve had already given him a heads up that gaining your trust wouldn’t be easy. It required a-lot of compassion and understanding, but Billy was determined to try. Plus It kinda got under his skin that even Nancy and Johnathan had talked about baby sitting moments. What exactly was it about all this that you have everyone wrapped around your finger?? How hard could it be? He’s taken care of some kids before.
Billy slipped upstairs to search for two things, 1. The cassette tapes he lent to Steve and 2. The baby bag. Steve had mentioned beforehand Having an essentials bag stashed away if anyone ever needed it, although the dumbass never actually told him WHERE it was though. Of course the idiot had it buried in the back of his closet. He pulled it out and went digging through everything the bag included:
☑️A blanket
☑️A couple over sized shirts, and pjs
☑️coloring books and crayons
☑️Baby lotion, powder and wiped
☑️A couple pacifiers
☑️A stuffed bunny
☑️A mix of baby bottles, sippy cups and cups with straws
☑️And a couple pullups
Billy did a bit of a double take of its contents, somewhat confused (and amused). He sat there for moment contemplating how to go about this, pushing his hair back and pacing for a moment before slinging the bag over his shoulder and going back downstairs for a cigarette. He looked over at Y/n still sprawled out face down on the couch. “You still alive little bunny?”
“Omg just leave me alone” you groaned. Billy sighed, “sorry doll but you’re stuck with me until steve gets off work” he called out from the kitchen and stepped outside to get quick smoke break in. Lightning the cigarette, and only taking a few puffs and pulled a few things from the bag, unsure of what you might actually need.
Blanket? Yes always
Stuffed animal? Yup
Sippy cups? Maybe?
Pacifiers? …Ive seen her nap with them in, but she probably wont take it willingly, but sure.. cant hurt.
He slid one into his pocket and somewhat anxiously took a couple of long drags on his cigarette before putting the rest out and slipping back inside. Doing his best to be as quiet as possible.
He took a deep breath and walked over to the living room, gently placing the bag on the floor and sat down crisscrossed in front of you. It was barely audible but he knew he could hear sniffling, he sighed again And reached out rubbing your head for a few moments. “Hey you need to try to sleep, look im gonna stay with you till steve gets home”
You didnt even bother look up, but shook your head.
“Billy im fine, just go home…please?”
He tried placing his hand under your chin in an attempt to get your attention. “Y/n, look at me?” His voice was soft but stern. You still refuse, trying to bury your face back. Anything to avoid eye contact.
Billy placed both hands around your cheeks, resulting in a whimper that almost made his heart drop. Your eyes still refusing to open, but a damp face and tear stains dont lie. He ran his thumbs along your cheeks trying to wipe away the new tears that were forming. “i know im the LAST person you want to deal with right now, but i also know you NEED this, im not judging you, i will never judge you for this. Do you understand?”You continued to fight his hold on your face, but the resistance was all for not. He was intent on getting through to you, in one way or another. “Y/n its fine” You took a deep breath Finally meeting his gaze, tearful (🩵💙💚🤎 colored eyes-)stared back. You whimpered again as a few more tears welled up. Again billy wiped them away and inhaled deeply, almost testing the water, he softened his tone “babe listen, im watching after you until your daddy gets home, but you HAVE to let me in ok?” Whimpering, again you shook your head trying to shake off billy’s hands, you could just feel the heat rising to your face. This felt like a cruel prank, billy would never!
“im not doing this today!!” You cried. With soft sobs making your breathing ragged
“Yes you are sweetheart, you’re exhausted and you need it now please just come here.”
He Finally let go of your face. While still sitting on the floor he opened up the bag next to him pulling out a few items. “Please little bunny, just let me help you get to sleep, look we’ve got some comfy clothes, your blanket, and i can grab you something to eat or drink while you change ok? Sound good?” His voice went from stern to pleading.
In horror You glanced at everything in the bag, damn it, thats why he brought me here!!!
“Jesus christ Billy you went through all my stuff?!” You shoved your face back into the couch pillows, as more hot, angry tears welled up, you just wanted to curl up and die.
Completely humiliated that all of your little stuff was sitting right in front of both of you. Billy stared you down for a few moments before pressing his forehead against yours “nuh-uh, enough, right now your under my care, so NONE of that, now go get changed,” he got up in huff and walked back towards the kitchen “and while youre at it, pick out a cup, im making sure you get a snack before your nap!”
“Ya Grouchy little shit” he mumbled the last part under his breath
In a daze and still softly crying You sat up. This couldn’t be happening right?
The former school bully actually trying to play babysitter right now?? And what was with his tone? What kind of fever dream was this? Hes never been this…gentle???
But damn it if he wasnt right.
You needed little time.
LIKR FUCK Wrong place wrong time,
….but You gave in.
Hesitantly you pulled up the duffle bag your momma and daddy kept hidden and dug out one of the oversized shirts, a soft pair of pj pants as well as one of the brightly colored sippy cups with a straw. You pushed yourself up off the couch and paused for a moment, nervously glancing at billy, whose back was now turned towards you and placed the cup on the counter before going to the bathroom to change. ‘For the love of god Steve better get back asap’
Billy scrounged around steve’s kitchen trying to find something simple to make. Finally settling on a pb & j (sweet boy has no cooking skills, bless him). He looked over at the cup you’d set on the counter and grinned pressing his tongue to his cheek, of course you picked one with a straw. Although he would have been happy to try to give you a bottle. Maybe a bit embarrassing for both of you but he’d do it. Billy thought as he filled cup with apple juice from the fridge.
Oh shit, i should probably turn on the tv too while im at it.
Going back to the living room he laid a blanket on and the floor in front of the tv and switched it on. He flipped through a few channels leaving it on some kids show (insert any old 80’s kids show) He looked around somewhat proud of his baby sitting skills and grabbed the plate and sippy cup gently setting it on the floor. A few minutes later you shyly peeked around the corner still trying to wipe away some tears.
Hargrove tried his best to sound sincere “hey kiddo, made you a p&j and got some juice, that sound good?” You wouldn’t meet his gaze, but just shrugged, your face felt hot and more tears threatened to fall. Just feeling ashamed and utterly embarrassed.
“Ok Angel c’mere” the pretty blonde made his way over to you and scooped you up causing you to squeak in surprise.
He chuckled and sat you down on his lap a few feet away from the tv. He could feel how shaky you were.
“Can u at least try to eat for me? Its not like it’s poisoned” He picked up the plate and set it on your lap.
You just looked at it for a moment. Seemingly dazed, then shook your head, you could feel billy exhale in frustration or maybe it was concern but he tried again. “Kay, how about i take half and you take the other?”
You didnt say anything but simply took the half closest to you and tried your best to munch on it. Billy on the other hand quickly downed his half and tried to think of some way to get you a bit more calm. He was more used to doing …umm things a bit more adult rated?? so in a slight panic his best effort was to comb his fingers through your hair. Surely that would be ok, Girls like that stuff right?? If that didn’t work maybe rocking would help??
He lucked out, it didnt take but a few minutes before he could feel you press the back of your head against his hands. he grinned, “ooh? You like head scratches huh?” He cooed
There was a soft whine in response, as he kept going, and he could feel slowly you sink against him. He bit his lip and tried not to smile this normally wasnt his thing, but you’re oddly adorable in this state.
“Ok cutie, ya feelin any better?” He murmured while still running a hand down the back of your head.
You shrugged and grabbed the sippy cup sitting next you, and billy took the opportunity to move the plate off your lap when he felt something his hand. More tears? Had you really been silently crying this whole time?
He looked down, your eyes were still red, and tears were silhouetted in the light of the tv. He took the sleeve of his shirt and tried wiping your face, which only resulted in a soft whimper and you stubbornly trying to turn your head away. It was all billy could do to keep from laughing. You really were being an overly tired toddler trying to fight sleep huh? “Sweetheart” he cooed “im just trying to clean your face, can you sit still for bubby?” With eyes clamped shut and Still whimpering you try your best to comply. He did his best to dry your face, but your eyes and cheeks looked still looked so red. He looked at you for a moment, sighed and reached over. Grabbing the duffle bag still sitting on the floor he pulled out a stuffed rabbit and a blanket. Billy practically threw the blanket over his shoulder and picked you up with the bunny still in the other. “Alright cotton tail, plan B, i know ive seen your daddy do this a few times” he gently toted you over to the recliner in the corner of the room. Sitting you both down.
You didnt even fight him at this point, only more soft whimpers of protest remained as you pressed your face into his neck. He wrapped the blanket over your shoulders and offered you the stuffed bunny tucking it under your arm. Billy tried softly rocking the both of you, he had seen Steve do this on 2 occasions, (not that you would know though since you had already been KO’d for awhile and He’d be lying if he ever said he wasnt jealous of steve for it either.)
Your eyes were tired but they still refused to shut, and you softly whined again as You turned your gaze back to the tv.
Even in this state with Soft whimpering And sniffles it was all he could do to not smile. Billy rested his chin on your head and tried shushing you while rubbing your back. How are you still fighting sleep? The soft smell of baby powder wafting from your blanket would probably be enough to lull even him to sleep on a normal day. Surely its comforting scent should be doing the same for you? Wait, Billy mentally slapped himself, duh he did put a pacifier in his pocket earlier. He gently shifted you to one side and he tried to fish it out of his pocket. “Shhhhh sweetheart, here would this help?” He opened up his hand to let you take it. You feebly took it but instead of putting it in your mouth you played with it between your fingers. “Too shy? Go figure” billy thought to himself.
He took it from your fidgety hands “no baby, open up” there wasn’t even a sound of protest you simply opened your mouth just big enough for him to pop it in. “Oh good girl” he whispered and kissed your forehead, causing you to press your face back against him.
Billy chuckled and shifted you again so you were lying completely against his chest before going back to lazily rocking the both of you.
With both of you now fixated on the tv He watched out of the corner of his eye as the pacifier softly bobbled up and down, following the soft occasional suckling sounds. He grinned and pressed his chin against your head, inhaling the scent from your blanket that was still draped over your shoulders. This was blissful. He’d admit it, he could now understand how you had Harrington wrapped around your fingers.
As far as billy was concerned The horrors of Hawkins could fuck right off. At the moment the teen would do anything to make this last. He’d fight off anything if it ment you’d still be in his arms.
He closed his eyes for a bit but continued rocking you. He could tell your breathing had slowed,though there was still the occasional sniffling, but at least the pacifier has stopped the whining. “Shhhh little bunny, you need to sleep” he murmured and combed a strand of hair over your ear, gently stroking your cheek. Glancing back down at down at you with one eye open it looks like you finally may have crashed. Eyes closed, still softly suckling on the paci.
Fuuuck that’s adorable. Billy thought as he continued rocking. A few minutes passed until he was certain you were asleep. He finally decided it was safe enough to recline the chair back so both of you could get a nap in before steve got home.
——— later on————
Steves pov
“Oh no, no no no, what the fuck is HARGROVES car doing in my driveway??
Jesus Christ not again!!” He groaned as he pulled up to curb in front of his home.
He got out slamming the car door and mumbled under his breath the whole way to his front doorsteps.
“We talked about boundaries, but noooo of course none of that got into his thick skull” he muttered loudly as he opened the door. He was immediately met with loud shushing which caused him to jump.
“WHAT IN THE HE..”
“SHHHH!!”
He snapped his head towards the direction of noise only to see none other than billy hargrove with a finger to his lips and the other hand over your head.
Steve blinked in confusion then lowered his tone as he went into the living room “what happened!??” He whispered.
“Long story, but i took care of it” billy grinned sleepily. “Shes been out for about an hour n’ a half, but do you think you can take her, i gotta take a leak?”
Steve laughed as he carefully pried you off billy’s chest careful not to wake you.
There was a soft whine but you must have known it was steve since you buried your face in his neck and hummed “baba” in relief.
“Hi baby, daddy’s home” steve cooed
“And thank god cuz bubby has to pee”
billy chimed in as he finally got up off the recliner and booked it down the hall. Steve decided the best thing to do was get you upstairs and in bed before he questioned billy further.
He made his way up the stairs and into his bedroom, trying as gently as he could to lay you back down without (completely) waking you.
You let out a soft whine of protest before you were hushed again by a pacifier and the soft worn covers of your daddy’s bed caressing your body.
“Shhh baby, daddys here,” steve cooed as he laid down next to you, rubbing your back in hopes that you’ll drift off again.
Moments later there was a soft knock on the door. Steve glanced back to see billy pulling out a carton of cigarettes and mouthing “ill be outside” steve gave him a thumbs up and rolled back to attend to you. He waited until there was soft snoring before he rolled out of bed and crept back downstairs.
Meeting billy out by the backdoor, he crossed his arms. “Ok so what the hell happened exactly?”
Billy took a long drag and exhaled “she was in a mood and I handled it? Also next time it might help if you actually TELL ME where the emergency bag is.”
“Wait u went through my room?!”
“Not the first time Harrington.” He chuckled. “Besides your girl was exhausted and hadn’t been sleeping, so yeah, I stepped in, and handled it just fine”
“She fight you on it?”
“Eh not really,”
“Are u shitting me? She bit me the first couple times!”
“Guess ya wore her down for me, or she just likes me more” he flicked the cigarette butt and smirked at Steve before heading back inside.
“Yeah fat chance” Steve murmured following him.
“Just so you know, if you ever need me to watch her last min, i dont mind” billy said looking back over at the recliner he’d been stuck the last two hrs. Steve grinned following his gaze then glanced around the living room at the various contents of the diaper bag that had been thrown about. “Not that weird anymore huh?” He said crossing his arms
Billy grinned and just shrugged “Never said that..just seeing it differently now thats all”
#little space#age regression#agerespace#age regressor#sfw agere#billy hargrove x y/n#billy hargrove x agere#agere stranger things#agere billy Hargrove
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for yuumori asks: 1, 13, 21 :)
✨ From Yuumori ask game here
Ahh thank you so much for the ask!! ☺️ (and for creating this wonderful Yuumori themed game too!!)
Oh god, these questions were harder to answer than I expected, once I sat down to think about them 😆 but here goes:
1. Favourite Character (s)
I’d love to say something quirky or unexpected, but honestly it’s a toss up between William and Sherlock for first with Louis close second.
William // I think to take a villainous character from an existing story and write them from a perspective which makes them as relatable and their intentions as understandable as William’s is absolutely brilliant. William is a character who I find more interesting and more wonderful the deeper I delve into him; it feels like there’s constantly a new element of him that makes me go 🤯 and I love this. I also find that I relate to him in certain ways, too. I think he’s very cleverly written so as to have many different facets of his personality which are relatable.
Sherlock // I love how Sherlock retains a lot of his original ACD character traits but also has specific elements which make him feel as though he very much belongs to Yuumori. I think his flaws and vulnerabilities are written honestly and again in a very relatable way, and I find myself also relating to Sherlock but in a different way to William. He’s funny, too; I will always gravitate to characters that make me grin or laugh aloud when reading ☺️
As an aside, I find it difficult to separate both of these characters for first spot because it’s also their relationship and connection which I adore in Yuumori; I feel like amidst a backdrop of drama, life and death situations and change on a grand scale, it encourages us to celebrate the joy of the everyday, specific ways we connect with other people and find things in common.
Louis // I enjoyed Louis’ character in the manga, was drawn in by the soft and gentle aspects of his character brought out by the English VA in the anime, but Ikkei Yamamato’s portrayal of him in Morimyu sealed the deal for me. Louis’ balance between his vulnerable and honest emotions he wears on his sleeve for William mixed with the stoicism and guardedness he strives for the remainder of the time intrigues me no end. He’s a character I’d love to explore more in writing, too, especially post time-skip. I think it’s sometimes overlooked how he, in the end, clung on to his composure and strength where William and Albert crumbled, and how he probably makes an excellent leader, but I think the anime stopping where it does is to blame for this. He’s very much my go-to type of character.
2. Favourite Arc
Wow this is so difficult because I absolutely charged through the manga when part 1 was already complete, so a lot of it blurs into one big mess when I think about it haha. I would maybe have to say The Final Problem arc, as the way suspense was built during this had my heart absolutely racing. I can’t imagine what it must have been like to be a monthly reader not knowing the fate of the characters for months after that fall. The Two Criminals is perhaps a close second, because I thoroughly enjoyed Milverton’s character and almost wanted more of him vs. William/ Sherlock. When Sherlock ate that sandwich and drank that tea like he gave zero shits about Milverton’s little game, it did things to me. I think it was the moment Sherlock’s position as joint top favourite character was cemented 🤣
3. What I’d like to see as another OVA
I mean … I feel like the Durham Date is kinda the ultimate here, right? 😆 I would love to see this animated. But also, the storyline where William is kidnapped in earlier chapters is a favourite. I love how it shows William’s absolute dedication to his goal — he shrugs his mistreatment and injuries off as if they’re nothing, not caring for his own well being providing his plan succeeds. But not only this, his damn acting. I was so worried for him when he was shouting for Louis in the carriage, my heart was in my throat, only for him later to be like 😏 everything went as planned. When I realised he’d played me, the reader, too, I was shaking my fist at him (affectionately 🤣). I would like to see this performance animated, thank you.
This was so much fun, thank you again! 🥰
#Yuumori ask game#ask games#yuumori#yuukoku no moriarty#moriarty the patriot#william james moriarty#louis james moriarty#Sherlock Holmes
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Top 10 Films!
(Thanks for the tag SO long ago @a-slut-for-smut! I actually had this entire post written in my drafts right after you had tagged me but never got around to post it for some reason LOL)
I don’t watch many films anymore these days (shows/series have taken place of it) so it took awhile to recall all of my favorites. It’s actually nice to remember though, because it means all of these really lasted with me over my life.
The Perks of Being a Wallflower (2012): A perfect coming-of-age film and story, discovered in my junior year of highschool. First of all I was in love with Logan Lerman looool and Emma Watson. But there are lines of this book/movie that stuck with me through my life, and the movie executed it perfectly. A story of finding belonging, first love, overcoming trauma alongside loved ones, growing up. The soundtrack is phenomenal, even the music score album (I listen to that often while writing).
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004): The cinematography and shots in this are just so gorgeous and creative. It’s a quirky and angsty film circling around two imperfect lovers who choose to love, who deal with the heartbreak in a terrible way, and who fall in love again, saying yes to the struggle. And, come on! The idea of having your memories erased, then during the process realizing you want to keep the painful memories after all? And navigating through memories trying to hold onto the good and the bad? Just a beautiful concept. Lots of fantastic lines and scenes. I took a lot of inspo from one scene in particular of this movie into some of the latest chapters of my longfic.
The Fault in Our Stars (2013): First of all, TFIOS is one of my all time favorite books. John Green is my favorite author, and is the only (published) author I’ve EVER gone out of my way to read multiple works from. TFIOS was the first book that brought me to *literal* tears. It rocked my world, this ill-fated story of star crossed lovers. The movie did a fantastic job adapting it; as soon as the production was announced I followed it loyally and the execution of the film made it so worth the journey. Hazel and Augustus’ actors’ chemistry was just SO good. The film STILL makes me bawl like a baby. Pls watch.
Anastasia (1997): A favorite since childhood! Romanov Princess gone missing, forced to pretend she’s the princess but she doesn’t know she’s the princess, until she finds out the conman she’s working with was the child who saved her long ago in her lost past? And they fall in love? So the conman lets go of all his con ways??? BEAUTIFUL. Love the music, love the animation, loved the idea of finding the missing princess and the love story of an unrecognized reunion of two childhood friends. I’ve always wanted to write a Rivamika/Anastasia AU 🥰 Someday.
Tangled (2010): I think as a teen I just really resonated with the “lost princess, aching for more in her life, feeling stuck in a tower, fall in love with conman” trope 🤣 But also, this was one of the first movies that made me just feel overwhelmed with heart-squeezing emotion. (I freaking loved Rapunzel; related to her in many ways) The lantern scene took my breath away and I had never really felt that in a movie theater before. Love the soundtrack and movie scores (did a music analysis presentation on the score back in highschool), animation was and still is beautiful even if it was one of Disney’s pioneering 3D animation movies.
Les Miserables (2012): I’m a sucker for musicals but this is one that I hold special in my heart. Aside from the fact that I played violin for Les Mis productions for two years, so I am attached to the music deeply... the story! The cinematography! The acting! The live singing! The instrumentals! Just a perfect cinematic experience. Eponine’s friend-zone story still breaks my heart, and I watched this movie at a time when I was going through her situation. I fell in love w the storytelling; how it took the journeys of multiple protagonists and perfectly interweaved each arc into each other’s so seamlessly. Also another movie that makes me bawl. Now that I stop to think of it, Fantine reminds me of Kuchel ;-;
Titanic (1997): I just rewatched this recently, after many many many years since childhood where I wasn't allowed to watch the kiss scenes (lol!) and holy wow it is a fantastic movie from start to end. It also helps now that I totally see Jack/young Leo as Levi. Beautiful timeless love story set in history. You know everything that happens and yet you still get so immersed into it.
August Rush (2007): I haven’t watched this in YEARS but 100% this deserves to be on my faves. August, an orphan who is looking for his parents, is discovered for his musical talents on an inspiring journey. Beautiful story about how someone’s passion for music/art (anything, really) can change their life; his parent’s story even becomes a reunion love story. This def had moments that took my breath away, too. (When August Rush gets up on that stage with the orchestra, ahhhh)
The Pianist (2002): (And honorable mention: Schindler’s List) Painfully beautiful movies. Terrible history of our world, depicted with care and pointing to the glimmers of hope in a heart wrenching way that deeply affects you. I think of both of these movies often. In The Pianist, Brody’s character is discovered to be a pianist by a German officer who helps him hide. Schindler’s List is about how a German man risks it all to save many Jews. The directing in both is phenomenal; the music—agh, that violin in Schindler’s List—too. I tear up thinking of this.
The Prince of Egypt (1998): Lastly, The Prince of Egypt. This movie rocked my world to see an ancient story, which I grew up with and was important to me and my faith when I was young, illustrated and animated with such beautiful art, music, etc. Moses leading a slave nation out of Egypt despite the odds. The burning bush scene and this one will always be iconic cinema scenes in my heart. Phew. Pls watch to those scenes with the music!!!
Thanks for tagging me @a-slut-for-smut! This was so fun to put together. I’ve been wanting to rewatch old classics to case-study the story writing and learn from my faves, so a movie marathon after the busy season will be a fun learning experience 😍
I tag: @chaosisbeauty23 @nuri148 @rivaille-13 @bryhaven @levi4mikasa @lady-purpleblue @warbarbie @your-lavender-dreams @nina-bean @onwriting-hrarby @randomposterofstuff @guliplum1 and anyone else in the community that wants to participate!!!
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My very first post using my art. Oh boy…
It’s not good but I wanted to share this here for Autism Awareness Month. A tribute piece to the series/ characters that mean the world to me. I adore both One Piece and TMNT, they got me through some of the worst things I’ve ever had to endure.
Brook is a character that tends to be forgotten in the grander scale of the One Piece world, but this wacky skeleton saved my life. I’ve been reading/ watching this series since 2012 and Brook was the main reason why I became a fan. He’s not the most popular, he’s not an uber strong mega warrior, he’s a rockstar with a heart of gold ( IF HE HAD ONE, Skull Joke! 🤣 ) that, no matter how hard things have been for him, he pushed forward and keeps going. He keeps living. He keeps striving to live to see the friend he left behind. And there’s something impactful in that message, to me.
As for TMNT, I’ve been a fan since the 2007 movie. I saw it in theaters as a kid, but it wasn’t until November that I got back into it. It pulled me out of a really stressful event and got the past few months, I’ve been in a fun loop of turtles. The 2012 and Rise versions are my personal favorites in terms of art/ storytelling.
2012 Leo is my favorite turtle. He’s such an anxious nerd who only wants to be the best ninja he can be. He struggles with being a leader, a good son, even pushing himself too far to be the wise older brother his family needs him to be. He had the weight of the world on his shoulders all the time and bares it alone a majority of the time, but he still makes time to be there for his brothers, to support them, to cheer them on. He wants to protect everyone and he fights to keep them safe… but despite the odds he still gets back up and stands for his loved ones. This poor baby needs all the hugs 🥺
And Rise Donnie is something very special 🤣🤣 There’s only two characters in media that I’ve related to, and he’s one of them. As an autistic woman who rarely finds autistic coded characters accurate in most shows, the writers nailed it with him. He’s quirky, he hyper fixates on the things he adores, he sticks to using his tech bō because he doesn’t like change and ITS REAL. It never once feels forced, and the little things he does like verbally pronouncing his actions or dancing just because??? ITS REAL. I literally pointed to the TV and said ‘THATS ME!’ Not since Dragon Age: Inquisition have I done such a thing, and all I have to say to the Rise writers is, hats off to you. You brought Donnie to life and you pulled it off phenomenally.
AAAAANYWAY 🤣
Sorry for such a long post! This got mushy and I’m sorry if I rambled 🤣🤣
This is why I love these franchises and these characters. They got me through so much and have improved my life for the better. I hope you liked this! I know my art isn’t the greatest but I worked on this sketch for hours 😅
Thank you for reading!! 😁
#autism awareness#tmnt#rottmnt#teenage mutant ninja turtles#rise of the tmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#tmnt 2012#tmnt 2012 leo#rottmnt donnie#one piece#one piece brook#fanart#personal post#please forgive my art I know it isn’t the best XD
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I really love releasing an album because it feels so concrete and the future starts to feel so full of artistic possibilities. I was thinking maybe I would post track by track about the songs and get a bit personal.
This song is really meaningful to me because it feels like the moment I really became Lady Charles even though I had a whole first EP. I had the title in my head and became so obsessed with the idea of it being a personal theme song that I basically spent two weeks straight trying to actually come up with a 'worthy' song for it. I even wrote and demoed an entirely different and way worse Manic Pixie Dream Boy first and threw it in the trash.
I struggled with mental health issues that weren't validated when I was young and only really lately have I learned that the things I struggled with were disabilities and not just me being particularly bad at life. I think that plus having a very fluid identity pushed me to internalise the mystery I felt. Not sure if that makes sense but the song is partly romanticising mental illness in order to avoid succumbing to it, and while that sounds dark I actually think of it as very positive and defiant. Like yes, I am different, who wouldn't want to be different when society's idea of 'normal' is so goddamn toxic and inhibited, you know?
That's where it ties in with Manic Pixie Dream Girls - I really think there's a degree of patriarchal disrespect at the core of that archetype because of the fetishistic way the characters are denied the humanity of having an actual psychological reason for their behaviour. They're just 'quirky' nevermind that those quirks line up with adhd or bpd or what have you - those aren't important to the male writers. Yet I really ended up relating to them because I too was kind of encouraged to see myself as quirky and different without separating out the things that were actually pathological.
So while it's not really on me to reclaim it I do really think of it as a bit of turning that archetype around.
The song was released as a single in 2019 but I rerecorded the vocals and added live drums (courtesy of Francy Karema) along with it being remixed by Erin Tonkon and mastered by Sarah Register. I also brought back a low Orville Peck impression under the line about him that legitimately
#Personal shit#lady charles#manic pixie dream world#manic pixie dream boy#Indie rock#Song explanation#Behind the song#Spotify
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hi!
I was reading your blog and I’ve seen the deconstruction burger thing before on the internet, and I do it too, with sandwiches and fruit and pizza and well, everything I eat. I do some things other people post about frequently too, I have hyper-fixations, (I love formula 1 as well) I get upset about certain things that most people don’t and most of everything goes over my head and I don’t love being touched.
But I’m a 22 year old, I feel too old to actually do something about it, people my age don’t get diagnosed with autism really, but sometimes I feel so far behind from everyone and I’ve always felt a bit out of place, my parents and my few friends say I'm quirky or peculiar, but yeah, I don’t know, I don’t even know why I’m sending this. I guess, I thought I would like to know where to begin you know?
I hope I’m not rude or disrespectful.
I loved Without a Hitch by the way, it made my whole year last year!
Thank you and please don’t feel pressured to reply?
Hey! Sorry this took a while I wanted to like, gather my thoughts so I could try and point you in the right direction? First of all, it sounds like you're questioning whether you have autism and for me that meant I sought out a diagnosis. I think before seeking an autism diagnosis it's important to consider why you need or want one. Any reason is fine, there's not a wrong one! If you want answers, some sort of peace with yourself, access to specific support that is gated off, or just to know, it's all good. But it's also important to know that because an autism diagnosis can be so difficult to access, and in some countries and areas even result in a loss of autonomy, it is absolutely not required unless you want or need it. If stim toys or weighted blankets or specific free to access autism information sites like the national autistic society help you, use them.
This isn't to discourage you, more to reassure you that you don't have to like Get A Certificate to relate to autistic experiences and take advice and tips and use them to help your day to day life! But if you do want this question answered then the diagnosis process can be very lengthy for adults depending on where you are in the world. I can only talk about my experience in the UK but it took a year from my first discussion with a doctor to my diagnosis, and that's pretty fast honestly. It absolutely does happen though, don't let your age discourage you. I was 22 when I was diagnosed! (Fuck. That feels like yesterday.)
If you're at university your best bet would be to talk to your mental health team. They fast tracked the diagnosis process for me. I brought it up with the counsellor and I did several questionnaires the main two of which were the autism quotient test and the empathy quotient test (aq and eq) and then when those results indicated autism as highly likely I was sent to my GP with those results to ask for a referral to the autism diagnosis team. (The gp told me there was no adult autism diagnosis team in our area BC GPs can be fucking incompetent so we had to go back and forth a few times telling them how their own damn service works)
If you're not at university and you're in the UK then raising this with your GP is probably your best bet. (not all of them are as useless as mine I promise.) Wherever you are in the world your doctor should be able to tell you how the diagnosis process works there. It can be highly localised. Not every country is using the same diagnosis protocol and not every local authority has the same procedures. If they don't, the aq and the eq are online and you can take them and print them out to go back to the doctor with. They're official screening tools. They can't give you a diagnosis but they can indicate how likely it is that you are autistic.
Honestly my first recommendation would probably be to take them, or at least the aq, if you're curious and want to have an indicator. I had to take them with my mum there to give me an outside perspective, as many questions ask for them so try having a friend or family member with you when you take it if that feels comfortable. Also, if you can, take that person with you to the doctor to advocate for you! Doctors take outsider testimony about autism more seriously in my experience.
This is a lot of information, I'm sorry about that! Grappling with the question of autism and the way it impacts your identity can be frightening and confusing. I highly recommend the national autistic society (UK) website as a more organized source than me that can give you more information and advice on how to proceed if you're questioning.
Sorry for this massive rant. Basically, you are not alone, and you can have answers to these questions. Where there was once a huge confusion and a sense that I just didn't belong on this earth with real humans there is now a comforting knowledge that there is nothing wrong with me.
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So, I... didn’t love W/ednesday. Yes, I am ranting here instead of twitter yet again.
[If you are a fan, just skip it. There is no need for you to engage with the post; the fact that I almost dislike the show doesn’t mean that you aren’t allowed to like it and vice versa. I am not attacking anyone enjoying it /or anyone at all, except for the writers, perhaps/.]
Of course, there are a few things to be said first:
I grew up with the 90′s movies (and the cartoon at some point, I think). I familiarized myself with the old b/w series too, but due to my young age [at the time] didn’t really watch all of it. That is, I am not fully familiar with the original comics.
Another thing: I don’t think teen drama is generally my genre. I am likely only 1/2 of the target audience here and a full miss on the other 1/2 part. I can’t remember enjoying any shows in the school setting, spare for Heathers (1988), perhaps (and that could be due to the exposure to the musical before the movie).
Now, with this out of the way: I don’t think I have even enjoyed the show, but not for the commonly brought-up reasons. I don’t mind the casting; actually, I really liked Jenna Ortega’s performance (and the smallest bits I didn’t were most likely not up to her). I think, as far as the familiar casting goes, meaning having characters look like they are related, the job is very well done. I have some issues with Catherine Zeta-Jones, but I can’t fully divide what was her addition to the character and what wasn’t. Still, probably the only acting [I cared about] I might nitpick on. [I will go into it more later in the post].
The reasons I didn’t like the show are somewhat expected from the semi-disclaimer I have put up in the first paragraph: it was all too average. It’s teen romance etc. etc. all over again, just with some supernatural undertones and a beloved character slapped on top of it.
Let me have a “tumblr moment” [to get it out of the way]: there were some progressive remarks made by characters [oh, so quirky, props to you, writers, for understanding gen Z /s], but then it really felt like just a façade as there was nothing in the plot itself to reiterate these points and make them more valuable. In other words, writers just had characters say a couple of things, such as “is it a boy... or a girl?” and then proceeded to write your most typical thing with multiple hetero romances.
While I am on it, there was somewhat that rubbed me the wrong way in this context: the whole Enid deal with “wolfing out”. It felt like an allegory at first, which was strengthened by the 5th episode, where the students’ families came to the campus and the whole conversion camp thing was brought up. Even with her dad being supportive of her and approving her rejection of this whole idea, it all felt like the topic of potentially not fitting in the normative society and living with that is to be explored.
...And then she wolfed out [not unexpectedly, but disappointingly]. It’s like the whole set up didn’t matter at all and it got me somewhat frustrated, because it basically pushed the “it’s not the right time, but in the proper circumstances you will become normal” agenda.
Overall, the supporting characters weren’t super memorable to me, as they were walking clichés/routes of the genre, but I can’t say it surprised me. After finishing the season, I have only some interest towards Bianca and that’s it. I am not saying that I hated everyone, of course not; for example, Enid was somewhat enjoyable at times, but she was a plot instrument, someone to have Wednesday to contrast with, and it was a bit too obvious.
It could be interesting to have her not be an outcast[as the series defines them], meaning having no supernatural powers, but not fitting into the regular schools so badly that the only place left to go is a school full of non-human people. In fact, I do think that visions were another obvious and unnecessary plot device. They also felt a bit lazy, as they gave Wednesday the answers instead of having her actually solve the mystery herself. And the “don’t trust your visions” thing seemingly never made a comeback? That’s one Chekhov's gun that didn’t fire.
Also, off top of my head I can’t think of a single positive “normie” character, as they all turned out to be somewhat evil (or not normie at all) by the end of the season, which, too, is a disappointment. While the whole infiltrating-the-school thing was one of the better plot decisions [within the given mystery], I was genuinely upset at the fact that the co-existence potential between outcasts and normies was barely explored. Of course, there is the mayor’s son, but he was set up to be a [misguided] outcast hater at first and I don’t think there were enough episodes to have the topic properly portrayed with/through him.
Let’s move on to the Addams family and the plot. Like I said, I do like this series’ Wednesday and I don’t think it’s impossible to have her work out in such a setting, but the whole point of the Addams family [as I feel it] is that they are untypical, non-conventional, etc. etc. It’s not that putting her in a school with outcasts is an issue, absolutely not; it’s rather the writers’ attempt to normalise her is (whether through the plot or through the way they paint the environment around her). There was much potential: one could write a satire on the genre or make a dark comedy with references to the common tropes and give them a proper twist, while having Wednesday be the one through whom we, the viewers, would get this ironic perspective. Not actually include her in these tropes and make her be in a love triangle.
Finally, the family. I don’t have many feeling towards Pugsley and Gomez, as the former didn’t have enough screen time for me to get any and the latter was alright. The fact that series’ Gomez might not fit into the conventional beauty standards is a bs argument for claiming the actor is a miscast. I liked The Thing and the subplot/background developments of his relationships with other characters. I also really liked Uncle Fester! He was quite fun and in line with my expectations [whether it’s a good or a bad thing for any poor soul actually reading this post]. Fun fact: his actor, Fred Armisen, played Geraldo in OFMD, [which I found out because he looked hella familiar and I went to look his whole filmography up. ]
Unfortunately, same cannot be said about Morticia. I really wanted to give her a chance and didn’t jump into conclusions after the first episode; yes, there were minor details that bothered me, mostly about her posture/attitude, but they weren’t so prominent to immediately write her off. And then the aforementioned 5th episode came.
I believe, it is something many have commented on already, but she is extremely smiley, too emotional at times. She (as a character) lacks a certain elevation some iterations of Morticia had, she is not as distant towards the surrounding around her [not meaning her family, but everything else]. I believe Morticia to have a ghost-like presence and this version didn’t portray it.
And the more the plot progressed, the worse it got. It was said in the earlier episodes she was exceptional in fencing, meaning she was experienced and such, and yet, when the whole showdown between Gomez and Garret came to be, she would only scream time and time again. She didn’t act until the very end and when she did, for some reason she, Morticia, got horrified because of stabbing a dude? Couldn’t help but roll my eyes.
All in all, the series left a mixed impression on me and I most likely won’t be watching the second season.
#text post#mushroom talk#review or something#tw spoilers#have an insane inflow of bots after this post/ trying to censure the name in hopes of them stopping ._.
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Her Second Return
Just like all of you, and especially my fellow Penny fans, I am absolutely devastated by the Volume 8 finale. I had been in quite a state these last few days, utterly heartbroken, and actually nauseous at times. It feels strange to me to be legitimately grieving a fictional character, but it’s not a bad thing to feel this way. To me, this just shows that CRWBY loves her just as much as us to have written her so well that we connect so completely with her, that it feels like we lost an actual piece of ourselves when she’s gone.
But as you can probably tell by the title, this mega post isn’t gonna be about accepting this end, not in the slightest! Today I want to share canon evidence that can point towards another return of our beloved quirky red headed cinnamon bun! I’m here to spread this hope that I and others in the Nuts & Dolts dolts Discord server have!
I have this separated into many different sections to keep these thoughts organized. With that said, here goes…
A Father’s Words:
In Episode 7 of Volume 7, ‘Worst Case Scenario’ we learn the origins of Penny’s aura, and thus her soul. We also learn that it takes more aura each time she’s brought back. This leaves open an option that could be used at a later point.
Many people theorized that Pietro could indeed revive Penny one more time, which he would absolutely do. But there also lies the possibility that someone else could donate some of theirs, I’m not sure about this as I feel like it’s akin to blood donation where compatibility matters or there's a high risk of altering her, but the possibility is definitely there.
Now, the conversation in Chapter 5 of Volume 8, ‘Amity’ that Pietro and Penny have is an important moment for both Father and Daughter. It was there to show how her death in PvP all that time ago really did have a heavy impact on him and is still affecting him to this day.
Instead of continuing to pretend that everything is A-okay, like he had done for most of Volume 7, he finally lets his true feelings about how it come out to Penny for what is quite likely the first time. Even going so far as to say "Are you asking me to go through that again?" when she offers to take the risk of trying to lift Amity with her power. He wants Penny to be able to live her life.
This entire scene with Pietro established “this is what will likely happen” even if circumstances are much different now, it doesn’t negate the fact that this is a key part of Penny’s story. Scenes like these have a purpose beyond simply making an eventual death all the more heart wrenching. Her never actually getting to live her life makes those scenes basically moot. It makes them effectively pointless from narrative point of view. Unless there's more to it.
Building Relationship:
The build up between Ruby and Penny the last two volumes has been absolutely phenomenal with a definite destination in mind, and this doesn’t feel like that destination. So much of the arc of this season was to help Penny. This girl that our main protagonist absolutely adores and treasures, it would just be awful to throw all of that out for what amounts to an avoidable end. Why use so much of their precious and very limited runtime on deliberately building up this relationship only to end it abruptly, and permanently, when they’re separated?
In my opinion, RT is definitely smarter now than to intentionally set up what was really looking like a budding gay relationship only to kill one of them for good. If N&D wasn't actually going in a romantic direction, why would they leave in all of the romance-adjacent stuff that they got, that's not how ‘just friends’ act. And that is not something you use such valuable time building up for absolutely no pay off whatsoever...
Representation of Hope:
At its core, RWBY has always been about hope. It’s not at the forefront the whole time, but there's been an underlying theme of hopefulness that has persisted since it began. Some describe the show as a Hopepunk, I personally find this to describe RWBY really well. This genre of storytelling is about caring for things deeply and the courage and strength it takes to do so. It’s about never submitting or accepting the way things are. Fighting for what you believe in and standing up for others. RWBY fits all of this extremely well. How does this relate to Penny? She has been shown to be a sign of hope for everyone, but especially for Ruby, the main main protagonist. A prerequisite for a Hopepunk story is the hope.
Her first death in V3 was something that fundamentally changed Ruby. For the first time in the series, we see our main character all but broken by this event. With the loss of Penny, immediately afterwards, Ruby’s hope followed. She made up for it through determination and force of will. We see it affect her multiple times throughout the journey to Volume 7. But upon her return in V7, Hope reached a high point for everyone, the sheer relief on Ruby’s face is plain to see!
In V8 chapter 5 ‘Amity’, Penny literally raises hope by lifting the arena into the sky so Ruby could spread her message. And when she falls, and Amity with her, the connection is lost and hope plummets again. From there things take a very negative turn with the hack begins to take Penny’s agency.
In chapter 11 ’Risk’ is the point in the arc where everyone is reunited for the moment, so two separate hero stories are no longer a thing at that point in time. For the time being focus seemed to be shifted to care about the characters and how they’re going to solve the current problems. This is also where Ruby reaches her lowest emotional point in the season.
It’s not huge, but it’s interesting how connected this is. Before Ruby and Yang share a good cry over learning the possible fate of Summer, Yang brings up restoring optimism and hope to Ruby after the younger sister storms out of the room in frustration. This is where Penny’s scenes take up the rest of the episode. Getting Penny back in control of her own body and safe again is what makes the ending of the episode much brighter, when just 5 minutes before Ruby had been distraught and scared. This then spills over into the group coming up with the plan to use the staff, putting the main group in a much better mood. Of all the things to go right, it’s interesting that it’s Penny.
Things go wrong with the plan in the end and Penny dies. I find it interesting that once again, Penny got them hopeful in their chances of doing something right. Given said plan succeeded but at the cost of Penny of all people, Penny is shown to be the beginning and end of hope for them
The highest and lowest points for hope seem to directly correlate to when Penny’s around. When she comes back again, hope will return too, just like it had before. And because she’ll likely be back for good this time, the second return will probably be close to when Ruby is nearing the complete abandonment of hope. This would be pretty par for the course of the show honestly.
A little aside, but in a sense, Penny also represents Unity. The CCT in Vale fell after her first death, knocking out global communications and the unifying connection it gave. When it was restored for the briefest moment, she was there. Her body connected so she could allow for its launch, her soul lighting the night to hold up Amity with every ounce of her strength. So of course when the Hack succeeds and she falls, she takes global comms down again with her. At a smaller scale - even at the Hack's second last attempt to control her, she draws everyone in the Schnee Manor together. At the start of the volume, Yang states the one thing that they all agree on is not surrendering Penny.
Unity seems appropriate for one whose first song and wish was for but one friend, who would go on to find so many more in the process, and permit for a moment the possibility of all Remnant becoming friends once more. Where she first died, the name of the episode devoted to her story - Amity, "friendship", from the Latin root amicus, "friend" - she almost lives and dies with the very possibility of a united Remnant. It's no wonder she's a priority target for Salem, the great divider, and it seems natural that her next restoration may very well allow the next bid to bring the world together.
The Void Screams:
Moments after Penny's death, we hear a weird scream in the void space. It was a guttural, pained, angry scream, almost like the void space itself was crying out. All the portals shuddered and flickered when it happened.
Some think that this scream was Salem returning, but that happens earlier than Penny’s death, her return is signaled with cinder's arm acting up. We know this because after the arm finished flailing uncontrollably, Cinder said triumphantly "she's back." If it were Salem screaming, it would have happened after she fixed herself, but it didn't.
And I doubt Cinder would have been surprised or unsettled by it considering she was happy Salem returned not long before it. And why would a Salem scream affect the portals anyway, she has no connection to the staff or it's magic.
Another thing to consider is the fact sound is not transmitted through the portals. Otherwise, they would've heard Oscar and the rest calling for them, or the screams of the citizens of Mantle and Atlas. This lowers the possibility of that scream being from Salem even further.
The sound really seems to be coming from something else entirely within the void, and that something is not at all happy. There’s also the fact that Penny was the only person who died in the void space, everyone else was just thrown out of it like Ruby and Co. The only logical cause to me is Penny. Her body was a product (or byproduct) of the same creation magic that made the void space, her blood seems to have been a trigger.
Now I can't be sure about it, but this makes me feel like Penny is almost a part of creation itself? For whatever this thing is to be so angry, that is the only explanation I can think of currently. But all of this could possibly relate to the Narnia allusion of 'the willing victim killed in a traitor's stead' that others have brought up, which will be covered next.
Narnia Parallels:
Atlas has several parallels and references to fictional places (putting aside real world ones like the United States). One of those is that of Narnia, both on the surface and on a deeper level. It is a land of winter year round, where people struggle to survive and there is a present divide between those loyal to the current Monarch and those who are not. James is a parallel to Jadis, the White Witch, a ruler whose thoughts and cares aren’t exactly centered around the actual well being of the people. The hologram table in Ironwood’s office is designed to look like stone, like the Stone Table which features prominently in the Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe. He has a handpicked cadre of special agents/secret police, like how Maugrim and his wolves served Jadis. Another key parallel is how Jadis’s winter sets in to oppress and kill everyone in Narnia, but the Witch provides aid and protection to her loyal followers. She has all the power to spare harm to others, and uses it only for the loyal. As soon as Mantle splits from James and Atlas, no care is taken to protect them from the cold of Solitas even though he has every ability to turn the heating grid back on. His protection is only for the loyal.
Now that the parallel is established, let's look into the details. Starting with how James plays the role of Jadis.
"I had forgotten that you are only a common boy. How should you understand reasons of State? You must learn, child, that what would be wrong for you or for any of the common people is not wrong in a great Queen such as I. The weight of the world is on our shoulders. We must be freed from all rules. Ours is a high and lonely destiny." These are the words Jadis says in the Magician’s Nephew to justify the blood civil war she and her sister had waged for rulership of Charn, before she came to Narnia. She won that war, technically, but only after the last battle had been lost and her sister had marched right up to her so that they were face to face. Jadis’s troops were dead, her followers had surrendered, and the capital was under full control of her sister. But, she still had one card, one ultimate play to win and prove the throne of Charn was rightfully her. The Deplorable Word, a piece of old magic that killed everyone and everything except for her on Charn. It was monstrous, senseless, cruel beyond measure. But it got her that hollow victory. This mindset, the disregard for the people except as tools for her own will, the ultimate ‘aoe’ destructive move that no one had even considered her using, the unwillingness to stop even when by all practical measures the war is over, is a shocking parallel to James. In many ways, he is Jadis in mindset and deed.
Then there is the shared desire for A Thing that both James and Jadis have. For James it’s the Winter Maiden and control over her. For Jadis it’s the Silver Apples from the Tree of Youth. And funnily enough, the Maiden Powers parallel the Apples quiet well. These apples grant power and a life of eternal beauty, but should not be taken or eaten on one’s own initiative. They must be given, a gift granted by another, or only suffering will come from obtaining them. "For the fruit always works — it must work — but it does not work happily for any who pluck it at their own will. If any Narnian, unbidden, had stolen an apple and planted it here to protect Narnia, it would have protected Narnia. But it would have done so by making Narnia into another strong and cruel empire like Charn, not the kindly land I mean it to be.” Jadis’s immortality, and some of her power, come from the fact that she ate an Apple of her own will after stealing her way into the garden where the Tree of Youth had been planted. She gained the eternal life she had wanted and the power along with it, but she did so by taking it and was cursed because of it. Her skin turned pale and her lips blackened as if she were a frozen corpse given life. She will be trapped in a life of misery and hate according to Aslan- oh hey Cinder, how’s having stolen the Power you always wanted working out for you? Cinder had the power she wanted, but she only got hungrier, eager to claim more and increase her might. But in her pursuit she was defeated and humiliated by Raven, had to steal her way out of Mistral, and then suffered defeat after defeat while in Atlas. Only in the end, when she didn’t keep pursuing the Maiden Power, did she get any kind of victory.
The reason these parallels to Narnia are so important is one of the most famous events of the series. The cracking of the Stone Table and the rebirth of Aslan after his death. ‘When a willing victim who had committed no treachery was killed in a traitor's stead, the Table would crack and Death itself would start working backward.’ Well, the ‘Stone Table’ in James’s office has cracked, and Penny strikes me as a pretty willing victim. She has never actually committed any actual treachery or harm, as she was the Protector of Mantle, and fought for its and Atlas’s people until the very end. And because of her death, the actual traitor, Winter, who loyally served James until he had gone too far, was saved. Through Penny’s self sacrifice, Winter was saved. So now Death itself will start working backward.
(Major props to my friend @catontheweb for writing this section, I was getting nowhere with it, if they weren't there this part wouldn't exist!)
Norse Mythology:
The tree we see in the post credit scene gives off some serious Yggdrasil vibes. Also called the World Tree, it is essentially all of creation in Norse Mythology. It connects all nine realms, including the God realms of Asgard, the human realm of Midgard, and the underworld of Hel.
Humans are born from the branches of Yggdrasil. The web of Wyrd is woven for every person once they're born, and their path is set from there regardless of how many times the souls cycle over. But at the end, they're destined to end up in one of the worlds, for a myriad of reasons.
I believe Penny landed closest to this giant tree. She was on the center platform in the void space, so if that space is directly above the island(?) the tree is on, it makes sense for her to fall by the center nearest to the tree. This would not only open up all kinds of possibilities for the volume in general, but it would also create options for Penny.
The whole of Yggdrasil’s representations fit well into Penny’s story. Birth, growth, death and rebirth. We can count Penny’s appearance in V7 as birth for now, her growth is all her development in leaving =the military and becoming a Maiden, her death just happened, and her rebirth would be her revival. And this is a cycle she’s gone through before.
The Norse god Odin and Yggdrasil have quite a connection. In one story, Odin cut out one of his own eyes to gain knowledge from a pool underneath Yggdrasil. The only one that fell whose eyes alone are incredibly significant to the story was Ruby. So, they could choose to have her allude to Odin by having Ruby make some kind of deal with whatever entity likely rules over this magical place. An eye for Penny’s life.
There’s another story about Odin, Yggdrasil and the pursuit of knowledge. Odin so loved knowledge, that he sacrificed himself in a quest to learn the deeper magic of runes. It was believed one could only learn the magic spells from runes in death. So, Odin hung himself on Yggdrasil for nine days as an offering, and teetered between life and death. After he mastered the last spell on the ninth night, he ritually died and all light was extinguished from the world. Odin’s death lasted until midnight, when he was reborn and light returned to the world.
This story doesn’t fit Penny perfectly, but allusions often don’t. So If she really did land near the tree, she could be another loose representation of Odin’s story here. What she did wasn’t for knowledge, but to save her friends and keep Cinder from getting the Winter Maiden power. She believed it necessary that she sacrifice herself to achieve this end. As we established, Penny represents Hope, so her death means the loss of hope. This parallels Odin’s story of his death meaning the loss of light itself. So if this theory holds up, it would make this death temporary, until her rebirth and the return of Hope with her once again.
Alternatively, Ruby has the potential of loosely representing Odin in this story as well. Odin later uses the knowledge of the runes to do many things, but the most relevant one right now is awakening the dead. Both of these stories are about making a personal sacrifice to gain something that is desired. Ruby would absolutely make such sacrifices if it meant saving Penny.
It is said that Odin lived “according to his highest will unconditionally, accepting whatever hardships arise from that pursuit, and allowing nothing, not even death, to stand between him and the attainment of his goals." This sounds like Penny's arc of accepting the WM powers. This is more just a general connection between Penny and Odin, but I found it interesting.
Side Note: I encourage anyone who’s interested to look into RWBY connections to Norse Myth, there’s a surprising amount of things that feel eerily similar to the show. Likely just coincidental, but it’s fun to think about!
(If I got any of this wrong, I sincerely apologize by the way. I researched as best I could, but I admit it could have been lacking.)
Ambrosius and the Staff:
Ruby told Ambrosius "we kinda wanna keep her around longer than that" as part of her very specific instructions. Then Penny died about ten to fifteen minutes, at the absolute most thirty minutes later in-universe. I don’t know about you, but to me that seems very short to be considered ‘longer than that’. Technically it is, but when writing a story and a character says something like that, you typically don’t just kill the character they were referring to basically right away. It makes sense for a week-by-week watch, but in a volume binge, which many viewers do, it becomes ironic how fast Penny dies after being removed from her robotic body.
The first time we see the staff of creation being used, it's to save Penny. Using the staff of creation to help Penny is a sign of how incredibly important she is.
They’ve even got this entire transformation sequence for her, so it wouldn’t make sense for them to throw all that away two episodes later. In a meta context, it’s a massive waste of time and budget considering the asset creation for Penny.
Penny is a character who has already hopped bodies two times. And now we're supposed to just believe that this time it really is a final death? Just two episodes after we were explicitly told her body isn't what matters, that "Her soul is who she is" and that "the mechanical parts are just extra"? From a writing perspective, it feels strange, like your breaking a promise right after making it. And frankly, CRWBY is better than that, which makes me think this is not the actual end for her.
A possible connection between Penny, Ruby, and the Staff (thus Creation) can be seen in the intro. As Ruby is falling and being dragged down into the darkness, she is shown reaching for the staff. In the void space, Penny is the one with the relic. So with Penny having this strong connection to Creation, and the lyrics “fight for every life” playing as Ruby reaches for the staff, it’s a safe assumption to make, with the knowledge we now have, that the Staff of Creation represents Penny in this particular moment. Which could mean that V9 will be about, at least partially, fighting for Penny’s life.
Musical Hints:
In terms of music, Friend, as a song for Penny, is very dissonant from the episode itself. The song is oddly cheerful for Penny’s recent untimely death, and it overall highlights the wrong parts of death. It’s simply too happy to be a song about losing one of the most, if not the most joyous characters in the entire show. The song also abruptly ends. There’s no outro, and while this could symbolize the fact that Penny died young, it could be that the song itself is unfinished in a story sense.
What do we hear just before the song finishes, though? A progression of notes that sounds eerily similar to the last line of the opening of Volume 8. The notes for “Fight for ev’ry life” and “Who fin’lly felt alive'' share a similar melodic structure, they aren’t perfect clones of each other, but they are incredibly similar, to the point where it seems intentional. Penny may very well be the life that the opening song is fighting for. It is also worth noting that the line “Fight for every life” comes just after “Sometimes it’s worth it all to risk the fall,” which is the exact wording used for the description in the Volume 8 finale. Team RWBY risked the fall, yet, strangely the opposite of fighting for every life happened with Penny’s sacrifice. Perhaps the time to fight for every life has yet to happen, and we will see it come Volume 9.
For another thing, the lyrics for Friend are entirely centered on Penny’s feelings for Ruby, to the point where they read very much like a bittersweet love song. The music itself is incredibly cheerful, as mentioned previously, creating a mood whiplash with the end of the volume. Why would we hear a song about Penny’s feelings for Ruby, sounding like a love song, if her death is supposed to be a tragic sacrifice akin to Pyrrha’s? The song may very well be giving a clue into its future use in the show proper.
If this was meant to be a good bye song, why make it so cheerful and romantic sounding? There's only one part about her dying and even then, it's just too accepting and goes right back into cheerfulness. The song is also pretty hopeful, telling Penny's story in a fairly chronological order. And the part where she talks about sacrifice is quite pointedly followed up by one about feeling alive. It also ends with the super cheerful chorus, the word "alive" being the last... (Remember the episode title: The Final Word)
(I want to thank my friend @shadow-0f-x for writing the majority of this section! I was struggling to choose how to tackle it as I am not well versed in music theory.)
What We Didn’t See:
It is likely that Penny understood Jaune's semblance better than him and figured something out about it’s abilities in the same way that she understood Ruby's semblance better than her. She had plenty of time to observe his semblance up close as he boosted her aura to stave off the virus. Because of that intentionally timed cutaway in the finale, we don’t get to hear her explain herself after her strained “Trust me.” All of that seems really suspicious to me.
Pyrrha Parallel:
Pyrrha and Penny both sacrificed themselves to stop or stall Cinder. Jaune tried to convince the both of them to stop. With Pyrrha, he failed, while with Penny he actively helped her sacrifice herself. Doesn’t make sense for the guy who was determined not to let anyone else do what Pyrrha did, unless of course Penny assured him she’d be alright.
The Moment:
RT including the suicide hotline in the description shows that they're aware that Penny basically committed assisted suicide, seeing it as a noble sacrifice worth doing to save her friends. They're aware, and I believe they're smart enough to condemn that decision to hell and back.
The best way to do that in my opinion is to pull her back into the land of the living and let her witness first hand the consequences of throwing her life away so freely. This would show Penny how her actions affected others so maybe she could learn to truly value herself. To not think herself expendable. It would be bold and unwise to portray this choice as something good, unless it was going to be called upon later and be pointed out for how horrible it really is.
On top of this, Penny was way too content with her death, happy even. There's no way team RWBY is letting her stay content with it. It’s almost as though we're supposed to join Ruby and Co. in calling bullshit on what Penny is saying and doing because no, Penny, this is not how things are meant to work. It's as if Penny was basically saying "I want to die for my friends" because most of the volume had been about everyone else making sure she didn't die. She knows it will hurt them. She knows.
At the peak of it all, a choice like this will totally destroy Ruby. It may very well be her breaking point for Volume 9. Curiously, the moment itself is written like it’s the first choice Penny’s ever made, yet the entire Volume shows this isn’t the case. However, this is the first choice that Penny’s made solely independently and it’s rather pertinent that the choice she makes is a mistake. Outside of giving Winter the Maiden gift and saving the day temporarily, this sacrifice will not have any lasting positive effects. Jaune will be saddled with the grief of killing Penny. Ruby will have to live with losing her best friend and not being able to protect her a second time, and Winter now has the burden of the Winter Maiden abilities, making her a target of Cinder. This is a bad thing, and Penny needs to see the long term consequences.
Transfer of Power:
As we all know, colors in RWBY are really important and get a lot of focus in the show. That means the yellow we see as Penny gives Winter the Maiden Powers was intentional and likely important, no matter how insignificant it may seem. It’s possible that the transfer effect being yellow could have something to do with Jaune’s semblance. When Fria gave the power to Penny, the effect was very much blue, so this transfer should have been green since she was the one giving it this time. The weirdness of this transfer and the focus on color in RWBY really makes it look like something’s up with how that went down.
A little off topic, but Penny saying "I won't be gone, I'll be part of you." makes me think... Winter is smart, so when she gets time to think about what Penny said, maybe she'll arrive at the same question many in the audience came to; if she's literally part of Winter, can they be separated again? If Winter starts questioning that, the possibility of Penny coming back just skyrockets.
Fria actually tells Penny "I'll be gone" before giving her powers up, which is an interesting contrast to Penny telling Winter "I won't be gone". She may have gotten that line from Winter be all philosophical in V7, saying Fria was now a part of Penny, but it hits differently coming from an actual Maiden. S5o it’s possible that Maidens usually actually will be gone, but Jaune's semblance did something to change that.
This could go well with the theory that they won't need to find an aura transfer machine, or build another one, because Jaune will have a semblance evolution allowing him to do the transfer instead. It might actually be that this evolution already happened and the golden light we saw was Jaune transferring penny's aura to Winter in some way?
An observation that I find interesting is when Penny gives winter the powers, not only is the aura yellow but penny completely glows yellow too, and she obviously starts to disappear, but she doesn’t seem to fully disappear, she just glows.
It's possibly a fading out effect and she does fully fade but animation makes bright light easier, and so we don't actually see her disappear because she's dead and not gone. But it does once again emphasize the color yellow here!
And the color is coming from Penny, it does go up Winter's arm a bit, but Penny is clearly the source. This transfer is so weird and I’m not really sure how to interpret it. There's just actually no reason that we are aware of to make the effect yellow here is the thing. Unless it has something to do with either Jaune or Ambrosius, or potentially a combination of both...
Jaune’s Aura:
The way we see Jaune's aura break in the finale is strange. His aura shouldn't be breaking here. It had been long enough since he was boosting Penny, he's had time to recharge, and it didn't look like it was a strain on him at all. Plus, we know he has a lot of aura, so there probably wasn't too much to recharge in the first place.
He has a massive amount of aura, it has never broken before as far as I remember. Even if it has though, that doesn’t make this occurrence any less odd. It should absolutely never be a one-hit KO. We didn't see anything that would've drained it, that should not have been enough to break his aura. Unless he did something - something that would require a huge amount of aura - that we just didn't see. That amount of aura drain is far more than just an attempt at healing would do, Jaune absolutely did something with his semblance that took up almost all of his aura.
Pinocchio Allusion:
As any Penny fan knows, her character allusion is Pinocchio, the puppet who became a real boy. Penny deviates from the allusion by having always been a real girl, as Ruby is quick to point out, but she shares many story beats with her original story including multiple deaths. In the original story, Pinocchio dies from being hung by his own strings due to his poor decision making and he dies. Sounds a little familiar, does it not? This is where his tale originally ended. Readers were unsatisfied with this ending however, so the author decided to change the story by reviving Pinocchio and teaching him to be more careful.
Unlike Pinocchio making all the wrong decisions, Penny often makes the right ones, or ones she thinks is right, when concerning others. While usually a good thing, this has meant Penny almost giving herself up multiple times during V8, her last attempt being successful. This is where Penny and Pinocchio begin to share similarities again. They are both very reckless when it concerns themselves. This carelessness comes from different places, but it ends with the same result of them endangering their lives and even sometimes losing them.
In the Disney movie, Pinocchio dies by drowning after going to rescue Geppetto and washes up on the shore (like the beach in V8’s post credit scene). His father is devastated and takes him home to grieve, but as a reward for his selflessness in rescuing his father, the Blue Fairy returns and brings him back to life, as well as granting him humanity. Penny sacrificed her life as well, and it stands to reason that she should be rewarded for it, much like her allusion was.
Penny got her maiden powers from someone with blue aura and then gave her powers to someone with blue aura. So it could be that not only Ambrosius, but Fria and Winter as well represent the Blue Fairy. It could be set up for Winter helping to bring Penny back to life once more. It’s an out there theory I admit, but it’s not outright impossible either. The Blue Fairy in Pinocchio saved him three times that I know of, so RWBY having three representations does make sense.
Geppetto wished for him to live as a real boy, but it depended on what path Pinocchio took. This is very reminiscent of Penny and Pietro. Pietro wants to see her live her life, and surely with him absent in V8C14 that didn't work, despite Penny choosing. Her father did not see her happy enough to live her life, and will only be able to learn her death through others. But Pinocchio's themes were life and being alive. So the likelihood that this is not her end yet is quite high!
A Girl That Fell Through the World:
Penny could be the girl who fell through the world. The girl in the story fled the consequences of a choice. The only person who chose her ultimate fate was Penny. The others were pushed into the void, but she chose to die. The consequence of her choice is Ruby’s grief first and foremost, which Penny won’t see. The girl who fell through the world does come back though, and the world will be changed severely with Penny’s absence. Alternatively, it could also be Penny coming back to Wonderland or wherever they currently are, as long as it’s unrecognizable to her.
What Returning Brings:
Others might say another return would have no story relevant purpose, but I wholeheartedly disagree. Penny gives a profoundly youthful, joyous, and wondrous outlook on the world and story that we hadn't seen since Ruby in Volumes 1-3(not the end), Penny returning would bring a much needed levity back in after the despair they will undoubtedly be going through. While not necessarily a huge thing in most other shows, for RWBY, a show largely about keeping up hope, an ounce of such relief is a necessity.
As much as I hate saying it, Penny’s death does actually make some narrative sense because she had to pass on the Maiden powers. (They could have done this in a number of ways, and I personally think they chose rather poorly, but I digress.) Throughout this whole volume, we can see Penny seemingly being set up to join the main cast, but would have been too strong with the powers. This also accomplishes ridding her of the burden of responsibility that comes with being a Maiden and lets her obtain the freedom that’s so important to her character.
Once she returns, seeing this grief that her actions caused, particularly to Ruby, will get her to realize more that her actions can have serious repercussions. She made a choice, but that choice hurt the people she loves. She must have known that it would but I’m not sure she ever realized just how much.
I didn’t want this post to be heavy in the shipping department, so I largely left it out, but I am going to say this one thing that could have an impact. If Nuts & Dolts is on its way to being canon, which this volume makes it feel highly likely, this could be a catalyst.
It could prompt an arc for the both of them in which Penny learns to live her life fighting for her loved ones, rather than sacrificing it for them. A relationship could potentially start from there. And Ruby seeing Penny learn these things may also help her to stop doing the occasional but very dangerous and reckless things she does. Ruby witnessing Penny coming to terms with what she did to the people that care about her would actually make her stop to think “wait, is this how everyone else would feel if I got myself killed?” That would be a very important moment of character growth for her.
I’m certain there are other significant things that Penny returning can bring to the show. And there are definitely more sections I could add to this. At this point though, assuming anyone even made it this far, I think I’ve been going long enough already. So let’s just roll into the outro!
As painful and hopeless as it seems, I'm choosing to trust them with this because there is absolutely no way they didn't see backlash coming. The way this finale went makes me think that they calculated for backlash and aren’t jumping into something they don’t have a plan to recover from. Whether this trust is unfounded or not remains to be seen, but I don’t think it is currently. I do think, however, that the cause of this backlash was a major misstep. Now that it has happened though, they have a chance to do something good with it.
I know for a lot of you, trust in CRWBY has been damaged, some even irreparably so. And for those that feel this way, I don’t blame you. My trust in them took a hit too, but isn’t broken completely yet. There are many ways that they can bring her back that would make sense with the narrative, they have the ability to make it right, and after going over all of the hints and general weirdness of things many times, I think they will.
I'm feeling pretty confident now and I really didn't expect that to happen at all to be honest. But discussing and theorizing with the discord server seriously helped get my hopes back up surprisingly fast! It’s actually thanks to all of them that this gigantic post even happened! So thanks a ton my fellow Dolts! And a special thanks to!!
@arcana-amicus
@catontheweb
@cosmokyrin
@gaydontmesswithme224
@jammatown919
@shadow-0f-x
They really helped get this thing across the finish line!
And thank YOU for reading all~ of this! I sincerely wish it gave you some of the hope and confidence that I now have!
#RWBY#rwby vol8#rwby v8#rwby spoilers#Penny Polendina#nuts and dolts#mechanical rose#a little#Essay#more like dissertation#I haven't written this much in#probably ever actually#Have HOPE people!
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About Marvel's Loki, white supremacy, norse mythology, and Ásatrú
For the past few days now I've been noticing more and more posts about Marvel's new show Loki and as a heathen registered in Ásatrú I feel the need to speak up about the issue I have with it.
What is Ásatrú?
Ásatrú is an ancient religion predominantly practiced in Iceland centered around norse mythology, otherwise known as heathenry or paganism (note: there are different types of paganism). For a very long time now, it has been regarded as a dead religion by the majority of the outside word. As a heathen myself, I am here to tell you that it is not.
When the first settlers arrived in Iceland from Norway, they brought Ásatrú with them, as Norway had yet to be converted to catholicism. For a few centuries, Iceland was a thoroughly heathen nation. There are countless stories (commonly referred to as "sagas," which just means story in Icelandic) detailing their lives along with their belief. This lasted until the year 1000 A.D., when the king of Norway sent catholic missionaries to convert the nation. People were given the choice to either become catholic, or die with their religion.
Ásatrú isn't dead, and it didn't die by itself. It was murdered.
I highly encourage those who have the time to inform themselves further outside of tumblr, such as through the following links:
It breaks my heart to think about what happened to my ancestors all those years ago. We heathens aren't violent, we aren't degenerates. We're good people who believe in peace above all else. And with that out of the way, I would like to discuss it in relation to white supremacy and pop culture.
My problem with Marvel:
Circling back to the widely held belief that Ásatrú is a dead religion, and to be entirely fair for a period of time it was before we brought it back, Marvel saw no issue with making their characters based on norse mythology.
Please, just take a moment to think about this.
Imagine the public outrage if Marvel were out here making Super Jesus or the Amazing Shiva. Take a moment to comprehend that they took religious figures and turned them into fun quirky characters. And the reason no one fought back? Everyone who would have done so had been murdered for their belief hundreds of years before.
I know that everyone is tired of everything always being awful, of never being able to enjoy something without feeling that it takes away a part of your morality, but I am begging you to please listen to us when we say that Marvel has turned our religion into a grossly American joke. I don't blame anyone for enjoying their content, but I need more people to know exactly where it originates from. And keep in mind that all of this is said aside from their gross mispronunciations and spelling of people's names, which they claim to be accurate.
Ásatrú and white supremacy:
Now, this is something that disgusts me far more than Marvel's insensitivity. When I tell people of my religion, they often imagine a number of unpleasant things such as blood sacrifices, worshipping plastic superhero figurines, or worst of all that I believe in white supremacy.
I'm sick and tired of horrible people robbing us of things that are near and dear to us. It causes me grief that when I see someone displaying a religious symbol of ours, it's often done with hate in mind.
We do not practice hate. We accept everyone as they are. Ásatrú is a religion built on love, not hate.
#long post#loki#marvel#white supremacy mention#racism mention#signal boost#please reblog and educate yourself#ásatrú#paganism#heathenry#norse mythology
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Since I went and brought a copy of Spirit Tracks to relive my childhood video game experience I thought I’d wanna talk about how spirit tracks fits into the adult timeline and in relation to Wind from LU.
The reason why spirit tracks fans say he (Wind) isn’t the spirit tracks hero is because the whole game makes consistent references to people from wind waker and phantom hourglass as being ancestors or old relatives that no longer live at the time the game takes place.
For example! After the opening story scene we meet the hero’s roommate: Niko. The Niko from wind waker. Except he’s old as balls (as you see below). Look up Niko in spirit tracks and you get this quirky old dude who even himself references his old friend implied to be wind when the player is wearing the green tunic.
Next we move to this games Zelda, the girl who’s body gets snatched by the villains and becomes the lovable ghost who travels with link across New Hyrule. Many (and I mean MANY) times doer both Zelda and other characters make reference to this Zelda’s ancestors. At several points does she refer to her great-great grandmother specifically. So then who is her grandmother?
Tetra
Yeah. We only even see Tetra as this glass stained window but she is referenced by name in the final boss battle once Zelda takes back her body. I’m not going to go into too much detail but if you want to you can read more with the link below! (Under Biography there should be a section for Spirit Tracks)
And finally one last point to mention is about another favourite character from phantom hourglass: Linebeck. Later in game on the way to the Ocean realm the bridge is blocked and needs to be repaired. The guy who tells you where to go and who to see, who lives next to this bridge? None other than Linebeck |||
This dude is about as much of a jerk as PH Linebeck without as much character arc. Take treasure to him and he’ll give you money, or you can buy train upgrades from him. He’s not got as big of a role like in PH but is still nice to see! Although, along with Tetra, the original Linebeck is no where to be seen in game. The only other mention I know of is the gravestone with his name on it. RIP
All in all, Spirit tracks takes place possibly more then 100 years after WW and PH once the cast we know and love are mostly gone (seriously Niko how old are you tho). So while they are mentioned, the game does present the reality that people like Tetra and Wind are in fact dead. But I can say that their memory lives on! Zelda has the fiery attitude of Tetra mixed with more sweet tones of a traditional princess and makes for a useful and interesting companion.
Just to be clear! This isn’t a rant post nor is it me being annoyed! I simply wanted to share this kind of stuff since (to my knowledge) this game is one of the lesser played and known ones and so not as many people know these little facts etc. I love the LU fandom and definitely like Wind as I do all the other Links.
I’m gonna stop before I ramble more. Hope you enjoyed my info dump!
#linked universe#linkeduniverse#spirit tracks#lu wind#no hate to anyone who wants to put Wind as the ST hero!#just wanted to share my thoughts#I think a lot about this game#also? love for the soundtrack please#this Zelda absolutely rocks too yall#welp#(seriously please no hate this is chill)#(I had a big brain dump and wanted to share)
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Oh Kris, oh baby, oh. Okay, I'm dumping a bit here, and I hope I don’t strike a cord within you, but overwhelming curiosity has me wondering if you might agree:
What if because they're the only human in Hometown, they don't recognize that they differ from other humans? They assume that their deviations from "the norm" are due to being human? What if their discomfort/confusion with being autistic coincides with their species dysphoria?
What if that's why Toriel constantly checked that human caretaking guidebook out from the Librarby? Because everything the guidebook said about human behavior only applied to neurotypical humans?
What if, because they think that their autistic traits are due to their humanity, they never get properly diagnosed and never receive proper treatment?
Oh my god, autistic Kris makes the entire possession situation even more upsetting. They're quiet, they're not talkative, but the Player forces them to interact with every enemy and person and vendor and chest and piece of furniture, never letting a piece of dialogue or flavor text go unseen. The whole forcing Kris out of their comfort zone thing really just hits harder.
Holy shit, holy shit, I'm convinced of its canonicity now. I'm convinced. There's too much subtext that just fits perfectly. Like, as much subtext as their nb-ness (kind of subtext? Kind of not).
>i hope I don’t strike a chord within you
You did, everything related to this shit does, but thats fine I know when I have to distance myself from it and i dont blame others for it. So I’ll treat it more about kris the fictional character and less about my life experiences, using the latter only to inform the former. Thoughts under cut. again I dunno if this post will Disappear later on lol
-I disagree. I do think kris has very little knowledge of other humans and has maybe never seen one irl, but the human standard and the monster standard seem just close enough even in monster-only hometown kris is weird. Kris is aware they’re different. I think part of it may be them conflating both physical and mental differences. both compound to make them feel extra isolated
-the book, i never thought it was about That, though I can see toriel noticing the differences. I think toriel took it out constantly because of the different challenges that came w a human kid, aka diet, clothes for winter, illnesses, blood and injuries, puberty, etc. maybe there was a behaviour aspect to it but I dont think it was the main reason. I think kris has a female/xx/afab body because afab autistics are so good at masking it makes a clinical difference, which is why everyone refers to kris as a weirdo but the A word is never brought up. They’re just good at covering up the deeper shit
-The diagnosis thing is another reason why I stick with femkris (I’ll just use that for brevity cus picking the terms is hard okay? Correct it in your mind). I got diagnosed at 21. i dont doubt they would finish teenagehood without a diagnosis, if they ever get it at all. I dont think it’s necessarily because of the species thing so much as people just sticking to “weirdo” and “quirky” and never bothering to research on a deeper level (as tends to happen irl)
-As for the nb thing, I’ll be real, Per the net’s definition im a “desister”. I was abt to buy a binder and socially transition at age 19. My hairs been very short for years, my fashion very androgynous, i get called young man/boy/sir outside and inside the net constantly and I was always ostracised by girls... I like femkris because it brings back memories from that time and the % of autistics who transition (and desist, detransition, or just stay in their new identity) is high (so like the whole thing is interconnected). sometimes I scarcely feel like a human at all, much less like whatever standards people have for “girls”. I use they them for kris because of nostalgic value/cus it’s what the game does. I think they’d probably stick to being nb for life cus monster kid does too without any problem. This parts projection and very cringey. I am sorry you had to read this kek. I would rather not go on a rant about this part of my life because I know no one cares
Finally on the possession and it being canon- I don’t like the way the fandom acts about the possession sometimes. I think kris has enough of a will even under Player to give strict boundaries. Kris saves Susie of their own will for example, and if you make them say something they don’t want to they will twist it around to be a joke or sarcastic. I like to think when the game gives you an option to do something, it is because kris, consciously or subconsciously, is willing to do it, and if they really don’t want to do something, they won’t let you. But only two chapters are out- we just don’t have enough information to know this yet
I also don’t think it’s canon. I don’t think Toby fox went out of his way to write this in deliberately, because I know my autist brain loves pattern recognition and connecting little dots of information, cataloguing and labelling it, and that is probably how I come up with all the random shit i do. I wouldnt take it as canon until either the game or Toby make it explicitly stated. Its just something I like to think for fun or comfort, and I would def not use it to enforce anything
Like the other post, if this gets trouble from tumbler dot com it shall go in the gutter
#deltarune#kris deltarune#vsa answers#not even gonna add a drawing here this is pure analysis#autism bullfuckery
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Okay um... I want to actually make a PROPER post about the "c!tommy apologists have the worst takes" thing that I was ranting about earlier.
Once again I'm going to but a few disclaimers because this might end up being a very, very triggering topic for some and I understand that!
First off: This post goes into trauma both of myself and the character along with a few of the common symptoms.
Second off: I am not fully excusing all of c!Tommy's actions, I simply want to explain why he did it and why it triggers me personally.
Lastly: You are allowed to dislike or even hate the character for whatever reason you do. Like above, I only wish to explain why some sentiments about the character are triggering for me personally.
I want to start this off by saying that the entirety of the mcyt has a problem and even sometimes bordering on weird obsession with trauma, mental illness/disability, child soldiers, war, ect ect. It is honestly a very, very long list that I do not have the time to go into right now, but those are just some to name a few. I have seen them on both side of fetishization to bastardization and both very much trigger me because it both makes me feel like something to look at along with making me want to hide who I truly am.
For the past several years I have been hiding from myself, hiding from my trauma, ignoring the fact I was abused, so on so forth. This was all down to how society saw me, but it was also because I was raised to believe these things that were a part of me were not there because they looked like someone else.
Rounding back to the proper topic, or at least trying my best to. c!Tommy, along with many other characters on DSMP, show their trauma and PTSD through anger and rage. These things, the way they show them, make me feel valid for how I feel and react to things. They don't make me feel happy, but they make me feel like it's at least partially okay and even normal to be mad at the world.
What the fandom wants from these characters, them to sit and cry dramatically into the wind while a best friend or lover wipes away their tears, is what SOCIETY and the whole world wants from people like me. They want us to sit still an exist as a prop, and if we even look like we're going act another way? They'll abandon and hate us at the drop of a fucking hat.
The second c!Tommy and c!Tubbo started to act on their trauma, the second they got mad and yell and fought and did something instead of nothing, the fandom made them both out to be villains. After that? You had Villaininnit as a popular theory/headcanon/au for a decent amount of time and c!Tubbo somehow being treated both as a hero and a villain at the same time.
Go further into the future? c!Tommy is back to dramatically crying in the wind. c!Tubbo is just treated as some quirky dumbass with nukes, his trauma only occasionally being brought and it's almost exclusively to compare him to c!Wilbur or c!Techno. c!Ranboo is seen as a soft boy, the relatable one of the group who has severe memory issues that are joked about, and for some fucking reason him attacking and killing his own goddamn child is a fucking trope used solely for drama and nothing else.
These are the only characters, oh boy they are NOT the only characters who are treated like this. I know that, but it hurts more for people to be yelling at fictional kids rather than adults.
On the child soldier thing, it is also heavily romanticized for similar reasons to the trauma stuff, though here it's more focused on naive kids then anything else. I personally have no strict feelings towards it, mostly because I see their canon ages as being close to their irl ages. This all being said, aging the characters up in your mind and getting mad when they don't "act their age" is fucking triggering and awful. As a fucking ten year old I was always told that I needed to "act my age" and sit still or something, I was even slapped and spanked for not following the rules which caused to get trauma. Because of this trauma, I flinch everytime someone raises their hand or their voice. I know that this sounds very off topic and a "me problem", but I feel like it's important to explain why this phrase is horrible and should never fucking be used.
Sorry for the trauma dump their.
Last thing I want to do is round back towards the anger mention and once again explain a story of my own. Once, back when I had a therapist and was just realizing I had trauma from abuse, just told me with the straightest face possible "anger and hatred are bad for you. You should move on from him" as if the boy who abused me didn't intend to break me. Forgiving abusers is okay if you are the abused. Being mad at the abuser is okay if you are the abused. These are two lessons I have learned since then and are now things I project onto OCs and comfort characters because they make my anger feel valid. I know this emotion is bad for me, but I have moved on from what happened and still feel anger and hatred and hurt for what had happened to me.
I'm sorry I posted about this twice. I'm sorry if my point didn't get across. I'm sorry if this counts as cross posting. This fucking fandom just needs to hear words from the mouth of someone who knows how c!Tommy feels and I hope to god you all fix your bullshit.
Goodbye.
#dream smp#mcyt#tommyinnit#tw abuse mention#tw trauma mention#no i am not taghing the other thing because i fucking want as many people as possible to see this because it is important to me
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Hello so thanks imaginary ruined any chance of me being productive today and I’m not even mad but I have an exam in a couple days so there’s that. Just read the entire thing in one go today and went thru *every single* post relating to imaginary on your blog
But 12’s relationship has me BUSY. With thinking. And so I’m gonna dump a thought or two I have
First, in regards to that ask abt 2nd making knives for first: HC that 2nd proposed to 1st with a knife and THATS where 1 would be stuck if another seizure happened to izu
And the second (bc I myself am aroace and starved for rep ((which makes me love 6th EVEN MORE))) when I first read 2nd talking abt his relationship my compAce immediately scream “gray-aroace” or “demo-aroace” bc he never felt like that and then there was ONE PERSON and that’s the ONLY PERSON but it happened after a long time where they got v emotionally bonded so yeah.
Also I saw the last time you posted and panicked than you abandoned the fic so I checked your tumblr and you will not believe how relieved I was to see you recently post abt it bc it meant it wasn’t abandoned and THEN I saw the promise for more angst and promptly panicked again
Snqkdnks thank you! That’s so sweet! And awww, that’s a cute proposal idea. 👀
Also all the boys are going to be on the aroace spectrum if this keeps up lmaoooo. I would not protest to this fact
Look, if I’m going to abandon a fic I’ll say so. I’m just. Tired. This has been my first break so I haven’t had any time to write until now without sacrificing my sleep even more. I cannot update every other week like other people might be able to, it’s just not feasibly possible
Lmao, First didn’t propose to Second with the cat. He was the one who brought up marriage first in conversation, and Second later solidified that idea after he warmed up to it. Second later gave First Kichirō, but that wasn’t a proposal, it was one of the many rituals used in “quirky marriages” meant to strengthen the “final bond”. As a representation of a new life with one another, the ritual required both people involved to give a gift that would show turning over a new leaf. Second gave First the cat, First gave Second a violin.
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