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fernsnailz · 2 months

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February 2024 Review Roundup

well i sure did watch some stuff and read one book this month

the things i finished this month reminded me that for every incredible piece of art i find myself enjoying, i end up watching some Hot Garbage immediately after to balance things out again. idk why i do this.

i have quite a bit to say about both the things i enjoyed and the things that brought me physical pain this month, so there is um. a lot under the cut. any previous desire for brevity i had in january has been completely thrown out the window as i use these roundups as an outlet to gush about things i like and complain about things i didn't. fair warning, if you open the readmore you will be scrolling for a while. enjoy i guess

House of Leaves

does any other book out there have the balls to write a completely fake interview with stephen king

House of Leaves is a novel you gotta throw around a little bit. It feels really weird that my copy is still in the pristine state I bought it in - It seems like it should have water damage and smell like mildew with its pages falling out and spine cracked into pieces. Getting the full story from this book requires flipping back and forth, turning it around, searching for answers. All things considered it’s not that difficult of a read, but its format still allows you to feel like you’re discovering every hidden piece for yourself, and I really liked that interactivity. I was engaged pretty much the whole way through.

I don’t really think I’ll be able to revisit this book anytime soon though. It’s difficult for me to format what else I’d like to say about it because to be honest, it caught me off guard and disturbed me on a fairly personal level. There’s a relief I feel when I remember that I don’t actually know what was going on with the house - maybe that was intentional on the book’s behalf, maybe I just didn’t look hard enough for answers. I don’t know. But the implication that something divine was down there was enough of an answer for me. The book's good. read it if you want a spooooooky time or if you never want to look at a hallway the same way again

Doctor Who (Series 1-4) (rewatch)

ok so this is a fuckload of doctor who to cover so i’m gonna give some thoughts on a few of the characters and my favorite + least favorite episodes

9th doctor: My favorite butch lesbian. Christopher Eccleston truly embodies the concept of The Doctor so, so well: otherworldly guy who knows too much, genuinely cares about life across the universe, and also has a bit of deep, unresolved rage. His moments of joy and careless fun stick with me the most, he absolutely radiates with life and brings so much to this character.

Rose: I first watched Doctor Who when I was in middle school, and I didn’t like Rose that much back then. And guys. I have bad news. I'm still not really much of a Rose fan

I definitely understood her more this watch through - that desire for adventure and some sort of control over her life, emotions so strong that she’s willing to throw near everything away. That’s just what being 19 is like sometimes. I think Rose is a very compelling character who just happens to frustrate me a bit. And that’s kinda the point, her co-dependent relationship with the Doctor is doomed to fail and it's meant to hurt. Ultimately, I think when I first watched the show I was too young to understand Rose, and now I’m just too old to relate to her.

Captain Jack: Jack is my favorite character. I fucking love this guy. Dude has the worst luck in the whole universe and still cannot be stopped. Legendary. Every episode with him is a goddamn delight because he has so much chemistry with every single cast member. No notes 10/10 i love my problematic bisexual king

10th doctor: About four episodes into David Tennant’s run I realized that he dresses like a Hazbin Hotel character and it made me very sad. Still, there’s a reason this guy inspired every middle schooler to buy a pair of converse in 2008. He has style, he has depth, he’s got the sauce. It’s genuinely terrifying to see his anger, I like that a lot of 10’s run is about his denial of godhood and power over life in the universe, something that the rest of the time lords desired. idk i like my sad pathetic little weasel but he's also a huge fucking asshole sometimes which sucks. especially when it's directed at Martha.

Martha: Martha I am so sorry for what this show put you through. Martha was my favorite companion when I first watched the show, and I still have a huge soft spot for her. Her ability to hold her own and navigate foreign worlds using her own intelligence absolutely rules, and her drive forward is unbreakable. But the show seems to put her down at every possible opportunity, most notably with how 10 treats her. Her struggles and wants are constantly ignored, and she's often treated as a rebound from Rose. And I like that she eventually chooses to end it by not traveling with 10 anymore, but it hurts because it feels like she was never given the same chance or care that Rose and Donna were. This era of Doctor Who really doesn’t treat its black companions well because Mickey goes through something similar - both Martha and Mickey are characters designed to be ignored or left behind, and it sucks.

Donna: Donna Noble is one of the greatest fictional characters to ever exist. Despite seemingly living a fairly average life and working a fairly average job, Donna reflects the idea that no one is truly "average" and every single person is brimming with personality, life, and love. I love that her relationship with 10 is purely platonic, personally their friendship feels like it has a lot more depth than either of the romance-oriented relationships 10 had with Rose and Martha. 10 and Donna bounce off of each other so well and it's delightful, Donna brings so much humor and life to every world she's taken to and it's incredible. I wish her and Captain Jack could have interacted more.

My favorite episode: The Runaway Bride is hard to not choose as my favorite. I have a blast every time I watch this episode and it’s such a good introduction for Donna. Also the Tardis car chase kills me, I love when it cuts to the kids in the back of another car clapping and cheering. I was also surprised by the episode Midnight - it’s dreadful to watch and I kinda loved it. So much spirals out of control when shit hits the fan, even though no one has any idea what they’re trying to fight against. Really interesting exploration as to how fear can drive people apart.

My least favorite episode: It’s Love & Monsters. I wish I liked this episode - stories that follow regular ass people living in this world are often some of the best episodes in the series (Weeping Angels and all that). And this episode definitely has some of that. It’s honestly really touching to see this group of nerds get together and enjoy life in the first part of the episode. I think the antagonist of “guy who absorbs people” ends up dragging down any charm this story had because he just. eats all of the interesting characters. But despite me disliking this episode, I honestly have a deep respect for it - it’s fucking crazy. It ends with the main guy telling us about his sex life with his girlfriend who is now stuck in a piece of concrete. Where else are you going to get a story like this. It fucking sucks and that’s hilarious

oh also the production design: GODDDDDD I FUCKING LOVE THE PRODUCTION DESIGN AND SETS ON THIS SHOW. I love how dirty and rundown a lot of the spaceship sets look with wires and lights scattered everywhere. And a number of alien designs also go CRAZY with the prosthetics - I keep thinking about the Hath from The Doctor’s Daughter and how every head prosthetic had liquid inside it that could bubble. Absolutely crazy. I also love the moments where you can clearly see they did not have that much time and just had to throw something together or pain a bald cap green. Jank is the nature of sci-fi production design and I dearly love and miss that Doctor Who jank.

Rebuild of Evangelion

Last year after finishing the original Evangelion series + End of Evangelion, I remember going through the Evangelion tumblr tag and being very confused by the number of slice of life/found family-esque fanworks of the cast. It left me puzzled and thinking “...did we even watch the same thing??”

APPARENTLY NOT

[spoiler warning here because these movies are very good and i give the best parts away. if you want to watch these movies then DO IT NOW!!!!!!!!]

I honestly never expected a world where these characters got a happy ending. I so, so badly wish I could see 3.0 and 3.0+1.0 in theaters - these movies are stunning. I know I say things “go crazy” a lot, but man. They go fucking CRAZY.

While I have a few issues with how the first two movies adapted the original show, I do think the changes they made better serve the story this rebuild is trying to tell. For example, my favorite episode in the original Eva series is episode 18, where Toji is chosen to pilot Unit 03. It’s absolutely terrifying because Shinji doesn’t know who 03’s pilot is, yet he’s forced to be inside Unit 01 as it tears 03 apart. His resolve not to kill anyone despite not even knowing who’s in danger is an aspect of that episode I love and speaks to Shinji's inherent humanity, and when he learns Toji was in there it hurts even more. The rebuild movies change Unit 03’s pilot to Auska, and Shinji knows she’s in there from the start. I think this choice works for the movies and is still an effective emotional beat, but personally I still prefer the version where Shinji had no idea who was in there. That lack of knowledge is infinitely more terrifying to me.

I really like what these movies did with some of the angel designs though. The sixth angel (the fuckin. blue diamond cube thing) works really well in 3D/CG animation. The way the thing warps and moves is otherly and terrifying - and it’s just a fucking cube. I’ve always really loved how the Eva series approaches angel designs and the divine - despite the alien-like designs, there’s often something extremely familiar about them. They’re often reminiscent of an animal, a machine, or a human. This is also how they approached the anti-universe in these movies, I loved how it takes the form of various locations from the series and turns them into a movie set. It’s deeply familiar, but ultimately just an illusion of familiarity like the angels and the divine.

Also I gotta say. I fucking love Mari. I think she’s hilarious. She first meets Shinji by accidentally parachuting into him and then immediately starts crawling on all fours to sniff him. This girl also introduces “Beast Mode” where the Eva pilots can go wild turn their mechs into a fucking. superpowered beast of some sort. And also she defeats a whole army by using the Eiffel Tower as a spear. She’s such an absurd character and I honestly kinda love it. The only thing I knew about these movies before watching them was this gif of her Backing That Shit Up and she truly lives up to the insane nature of this shot.

My favorite section of these movies is definitely the first part of 3.0+1.0 where the pilots are basically just living a domestic life in a small town - it’s truly beautiful. The growth that Rei’s copy goes through here is fantastic, I love stories about seemingly emotionless beings learning how to live. And right after she dies, we get the shot that absolutely broke me the first time I saw it:

This shit. The way you can just barely tell he’s been crying from the red around his eyes. They don't talk about it, they barely linger on it, but it's allowed just enough time to punch you in the gut. I don’t know why this shot got me as hard as it did but goddamn. jesus christ. i want to throw up

There’s some goofy shit in these movies. The infinite synch rate. Misato’s stupidass hat and sunglasses. Some goofy ass 3D animation that doesn’t age super well. The rainbow that shows up every time an angel dies. But these things really didn’t take me out of the core of these films, and there’s so much genuine emotion and beauty in this series that had me absolutely hooked - especially in the last two films. They go crazy. My favorite line is 100% “The only thing a son can do for his father is pat him on the shoulder… or kill him.” and man. ain’t that what Evangelion is all about. i love these movies

High School Musical 3

kinda slaps just a little bit

High School Musical 3 starts with a finale number. The last high school basketball game of Troy Bolton’s life - and it goes kinda hard. The classic pep band brass that’s essential to so many High School Musical numbers returns, and the constant theme of two feuding cheer teams in the background? Genius. This is truly art. I love listening to Now or Never without visuals because in the middle Troy just starts coughing and gagging seemingly out of nowhere

Unfortunately, starting the movie at such a high point means that the rest of the runtime doesn’t quite match up to it. The story lags and meanders quite a bit, but part of me kinda appreciates that - it’s their last semester of high school, which is always a time of confusion and turmoil. However, I do have a pitch for how they could have countered the constant falling action this movie seems to go through:

The Wildcats should have lost their last game at the beginning of the movie.

What if the game is instead the inciting incident that leads Troy and his besties through their tumultuous last semester? Troy is still torn between basketball and theater, but his identity would be even further challenged here - is winning and success all that matters for him, or is it the love of sport and performance that keeps him going? idk whatever this movie came out 16 years ago i can’t be out here writing AUs for it jgnfsgfnjdksg

Some miscellaneous thoughts about this movie that i don’t care about formatting into larger paragraphs:

Ryan and Sharpay’s number (I Want It All) slaps as usual. The part where Ryan shouts “MADISON SQUARE GARDEN!!!!!!!” makes me so happy every time i hear it

The production design and sets go absolutely fucking crazy. I still have no idea how they pulled off the spinning hallway in Scream.

One of the classic staples of HSM is Chad’s shirts. Most of them are fairly silly and like something you would expect to find in the walmart clearance section. However, there’s one shirt he has in this movie that confused the hell out of me. It’s this one:

What the FUCK does Greenster mean. Is it just a combination of Green and Monster?? Why??? What green monster are we talking about here????? Where the fuck did this shirt come from?????????

Avatar The Last Airbender (2024)

There’s really only one word I can think of to describe what this show is like: sauceless. No flavor. No depth. No character. No sauce. This show is honestly so fucking boring and seems to fundamentally misunderstand what the appeal of the original Avatar series is - not necessarily because things are changed or removed from the original, but because nothing of substance is added in return.

Most of the characters are mere echoes of their original counterparts when compared to their source material. Sokka is reduced to a guy who wants to fight good, Katara’s stubborn and confrontational nature is very rarely utilized, and Aang’s mischievous antics and love of fun is sorely missing. One of the major reasons for the dull interpretations seems to be the directing - While I have faith that most of these actors are trying their best (especially since a number of them are kids/young adults), the direction seems to be incredibly lackluster and takes away nearly every cast member’s stage presence or personality. There’s a number of reaction shots of the main trio that just look like this: 😐😐😐 as if they were just told to “look concerned” at the events unfolding before them. And these issues are apparent in the majority of the performances - for example, General Zhao talks like he’s in a board meeting up until the last episode, and it’s an incredibly flat performance. He talks somewhat monotone in the original series as well, but this live-action take on the character often meanders with his dialogue and lacks that sharp, terrifying quality that I think this character needs. Uncle Iroh also feels incredibly stiff in this adaptation, and it’s a goddamn crime that they took away the cunty little outfit and chains he was originally wearing when he gets captured by earthbenders. wait who said that

Credit where credit is due, there’s a few cast members that seem to be giving their best. It’s clear that Aang’s actor enjoys the role and does pretty well despite the lackluster direction and dialogue he’s given. On top of that, I think Zuko’s actor is honestly the best part of the show. His take on Zuko leans much more into teenage tendencies and sarcasm, which, although it can be silly, is a welcome take of the character in my opinion and pretty fun to watch. There’s this one line he has at the beginning of episode 2 where, in an incredibly whiny tone of voice, he goes “He RAN! The ultimate warrior! He’s a Coward :((((“ and the read is so. fucking funny

The case of bad direction isn’t limited to the performances, however. It’s also stunningly apparent in how everything is shot. Despite being in a widescreen format, most shots are incredibly centered - you could crop the entire runtime into a 4:3 frame and you wouldn’t be cutting out much of anything. I’ve seen some speculation that this was an intentional choice to make things more adaptable or readable for TikTok/phone video, but honestly I think that’s a dumb take. I think the issue stems from a lack of creativity and thoughtless composition. Keeping everything staged in the center can make shots feel disjointed, lacking much depth, or completely empty. It’s a boring way to shoot and indicates that the show lacks any unique vision at all.

Overall, this show doesn't really seem to understand what makes Avatar interesting in the first place. It's more interested in spectacle and action than the characters' relationships, emotions, and mistakes. I try not to compare it too much to the original since it's allowed to take liberties with its adaptation, but very few of its changes add much to the end result or give it a unique voice. It's just sauceless and boring.

Some YouTube videos i liked in February:

💥 My House.WAD - Inside Doom's Most Terrifying Mod (some supplemental House of Leaves material for ya) 💥 Martha Jones Deserved Better (this video explains how Doctor Who did Martha dirty better than i ever could) 💥 bringing JUSTICE to the worst garfield game 💥 Selling Kids for Clout: The Downfall of Family Channels

And that’s my roundup for February! Thank you for reading, I promise there are no more reviews left to scroll through below this goodbye. Nope, nothing else I watched this month. Bye!

…ok is everyone gone. phew, i’m glad no one noticed i pulled an hbomberguy and hid the largest part of this post under a false ending. Anyway holy shit i need to talk about hazbin hotel

Hazbin Hotel

well i didn’t like it

Hazbin Hotel is a weird, fascinating mess of a show. Every episode left me wondering what creative decisions (or lack thereof) led to the sequence of images I just watched. There’s been a lot of discussion of this show recently and I’m not interested in covering every critique I have, but there’s a few things that I'd like to talk about somewhat in-depth.

Hell is real and it's just Red Chicago

The setting of Hell is kinda boring in this show.

Let me try to put this into perspective. Aside from the hotel, here’s a list of the locations we see in Hell:

A boardroom

A video store

Vox’s evil lair (it has cyber sharks which is kinda cool)

Various streets

Another boardroom

A BDSM club

Carmilla’s house (it’s gray and has. balconies?)

A porn studio

A bar

Another bar

A town square (full of cannibals)

None of these locations really take on any sort of otherworldly form besides some vague demonic imagery scattered throughout (and the cannibals. i guess. whatever). In short, Hazbin Hotel’s setting resembles Chicago more than it does Hell.

I can see a world where that’s intentional. Perhaps making Hell resemble a modern city could be used as a thematic tool or point of relatability? But Hazbin doesn’t really do anything like that - since the characters rarely ever interact with their environments, these locations end up seeming like they lack creativity, like they’re just cardboard sets where characters go to swear. They all start to blend together after a while - every street feels the same, every boardroom fades into the background, and every bar feels like a google image search result for the word “club.” This world feels stunningly empty despite the busy designs and colors. Even though the backgrounds are painted and designed fairly well, nothing of substance is ever really added to them through the story.

However, a few musical numbers take effort to break away from these settings. This felt like a weight off of my shoulders whenever it happened, it was nice to see some interesting setpieces and backgrounds that weren’t red. I liked the bombastic and over-the-top broadway lights in Loser and the glowing alternate world in Charlie and Lucifer’s song. But these moments are few and crowded by the dull locations in Hell - or worse, the Hotel itself.

Despite being the namesake of the show, the actual Hazbin Hotel is… lifeless. Which, yeah, it’s a hotel where dead people go in the afterlife, but it’s missing any sort of personality or history besides “it’s old and falling apart.” I expected the hotel to be full of secrets - like maybe some hidden passages or rooms, or mysterious cabinets full of rotted meats, or old valuables hidden under the rugs by the previous owners. Something for the cast to explore and discover, and as they get closer to each other they also start to understand the hotel more. Alastor seems very intent on keeping the physical hotel standing for some reason, but I never really understood why. There’s nothing there. And that nothingness is fully realized when at the end of the show, they just rebuild the entire hotel to be grand and beautiful - an emotional beat that didn’t hit me at all because I never felt like I knew the hotel in the first place. Despite rebuilding it from the ground up, it will feel just as empty.

3 SHOTS THAT DRIVE ME CRAZY

I was truly baffled at how some of these scenes are timed and put together. Multiple sequences left me feeling nauseous and dazed - the camera moves like it’s being swung on the end of a rope, and there’s so many misplaced or meaningless cuts scattered through these episodes.

There’s a sequence of three shots in the first episode that I want to dissect. I will fully admit that I'm breaching nitpicking territory here, but the shot composition issues in this show are pretty rampant and my analysis here is just a hyper-specific look at a single part of that larger problem. Hopefully you can also use it as a quick storyboarding lesson too idk

First, we see Adam teasing Charlie.

Then, it cuts straight to this shot:

A few things here.

Shot 2 is just closer on the characters, which is not a great idea to cut to after the previous waist-up shot. On top of being a jarring jump cut, there is no purpose for this new shot. All the information we see here (Adam laughs, Charlie fake laughs) could have just been conveyed in the previous shot.

Despite the characters being in the same position as the last shot, the background changes. This straight up just feels like an error. I think the idea is supposed to be that the camera is at a different angle, but the position of the characters does not convey that. It looks like reality changes behind them.

And if that’s not enough, this is the shot we get immediately after those two:

In this shot, the residents of the hotel sit on the couch as Vaggie walks into the shot, framing them between her legs. But there’s something… off.

Vaggie either looks like she’s floating or she’s three stories tall. Quick storyboard lesson as to why:

The main problem with this shot is that the perspective of the background doesn’t match up with where Vaggie is placed. The couch is framed as if the camera were above it, but Vaggie is framed like the camera is floor-level below her. I’ve traced the shot and added a perspective grid to hopefully better illustrate this:

Do you see what I mean? If the camera WAS actually on the floor like Vaggie’s position in the shot suggests, the composition would look more like this:

Notice how much closer the floor grid is to the bottom of the frame and how you can see the underside of the couch.

And to be fair, this is probably what the original storyboard for this shot looked like! Personally I think something went wrong in the compositing stage - this might be a couch background from another shot that was reused here to save time, or whoever approved this shot just let the error slide since the shot is so short (i've been there. sometimes you let the jank slide). Most animated shows will have some poorly framed shots and continuity errors because mistakes are bound to happen, but two egregious ones right next to each other like this is. pretty bad. It's so noticeable from a directing perspective.

Here’s the thing: these three shots happen in the span of like 10 seconds. Most viewers probably wouldn’t notice these issues, and that's fine. But even though these errors are quick, they stack upon each other so fast that even if you can’t pinpoint exactly what’s wrong, something still feels wrong. There’s so many other moments where the show breaks extremely basic shot composition, continuity, and staging rules - for example, the second musical number of the show breaks the 180 rule like four times for no good reason. The whole show feels like a dizzy, nauseating mess because the shots rarely feel like they form anything cohesive.

MY ROOMMATE TOLD ME TO GO TO BED SO HERE ARE SOME FINAL THOUGHTS

Here’s a rundown on some other thoughts that I don’t care to format into larger sections:

The show seems to lack much to say about sin and redemption other than “redemption good.” like sure, but what are they being redeemed from? Is heaven truly the place they deserve to go after being redeemed, even though it’s shown to be unjust? Are there sins that are too great to be redeemed from, or others that shouldn't be considered sins at all? I asked myself a number of questions like this, but never got many answers from Hazbin.

This show has a bad relationship with kink and sex. Both are mostly used as a punchline or a form of control. I didn’t like it. Perhaps the reason Hazbin never really comments on the nature of sin is because it needs you to consider sex and kink sinful or otherly for these jokes to hit.

Some of the animation is crazy good. I will praise any animator that even attempts to make these character designs move. A number of extremely talented people worked on this show, a few of the musical sequences in particular have some incredible movement.

Alastor is a very boring character. It’s wild that most of the side characters in this show only exist to talk about how much they like or hate Alastor, he mostly just stands to the side of some shots or kills random nameless goons. I expected him to have a much larger role in the story, but he just gets his ass kicked in the final episode and then crawls back to the hotel.

Episode 4 is the most cohesive, and i think Angel is the best character in the show. Unfortunately, the fact that Hazbin takes so much effort to show Angel’s misery left me… concerned? None of the other characters get treated as poorly as Angel by the narrative. There’s a few smaller explorations of trauma, but nothing remotely compares to what Angel is put through on-screen. This isn’t to say that I think the whole cast needs to be extremely traumatized and constantly miserable, but rather that I find it concerning that the only character subjected to incredibly graphic abuse and torture (that we see or hear about) is the gay sex worker. Which sucks, because I think the concept of hypersexuality resulted from sexual abuse is an important topic worthy of discussing in adult media. I just think they tried to execute this theme without much critical thought beforehand.

I think the voice cast does a fantastic job for the most part. Keith David is way too good for Husk.

I really liked the one shot where Charlie opens her phone and we see that she has a contact for every individual egg minion.

I was very brave and got through this whole review without talking about my new least favorite character of all time, Vox. here’s what I think of him:

The overall vision and end result of Hazbin Hotel is just mediocre. While I don’t know what led to the messy state this show ended up in, my guess is that it was probably the result of inadequate direction, sloppy writing, and lacking creative support from the studios involved. Because of this, please understand that I have no desire or intention to put down any individual artists that worked on this show - I hope it's clear that most of my criticisms are directed at the larger vision these artists were given to execute and/or the lack of creative support they received while working on this show.

I also don’t really have much desire to participate in any further Hazbin discussion or discourse because it has wasted enough of my time already and I want to be free of this curse. please spare my inbox from hazbin hotel discourse. please. i'm begging.

You want to know what the most fucked up thing about this is though? Despite everything I said about Hazbin, Avatar the Last Airbender 2024 is still the worst show I watched this month. I would take Hazbin over Avatar 2024 literally any day.

well if you got this far. thanks for reading. also sorry you read all that. whelp alright back into my hole i go bye bye

#to get to my hazbin hotel opinions you must first read my pitch on how i would have written high school musical 3 #jesus christ. either i gotta watch less things or learn to shut the hell up next month this is a longass post #review roundup #long post

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selfcestmovies · 2 months

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New recruits at Avengers Compound don't get much face-time with the higher-ranking heroes. As much as you might have loved to get to know the gamed Natasha Romanoff face to face, she was far too busy for the green members of the squad.

Still, you'd hope for any chance at a meeting. You'd ogle at the Black Widow from afar. She was so intense. And hot.

Your first meeting was fully unexpected. Each new hero had a specialized training regiment run out of the Compound's newly refurbished Simulation Rooms — capable of recreating fully life-like and battle-ready simulations. When you arrived for your first session, it was none other than Agent Romanoff herself who handled your onboarding.

"Have you used the Sim before?" What followed was 30 minutes of jargon, but you followed most of it — Stark had cooked up a state-of-the-art holographic simulator to help Avengers of all levels practice combat without the need for a corporeal opponent. Natasha joked that it was in order to prevent her from kicking the ass of any new recruits. She had programmed your regiment herself. "You're to report here at 0900 each morning for an hour of combat. I'll be monitoring your progress and adapting the program daily. Follow?"

You nodded, trying to keep your cool. "When do I start?"

Natasha had already turned to walk away from the Sim entryway. "Now – your first training is already queued up."

You gulped and entered the large, blue simulation room. There was no opponent in sight, until slowly the walls around you began to flash with lights and whir with energy. Then you saw her.

"Glad you're here. Let's start." It was Natasha, through and through.

"Didn't," you stammered. "Didn't you just leave?"

The Nat just laughed and began stretching. "That was the real Nat. I'm just a simulation, although I — I mean, the real Natasha — programmed me herself, so I share her — or my — physical and mental map." She rolled her eyes. "We're the same, basically, except I'm not the real Nat. You got it?"

You nodded.

"Then let's begin."

The coming months, day by day, you'd report for brutally intense hours of training with the "Natasha" simulation. She showed you various moves, grapples, holds and parries before forcing you to try them at full-speed with hardly any preparation. For a simulation, she sure packed a wallop.

Did you entirely hate it? Not in the least. You had been crushing on the redhead since you were in high-school and first saw the Avengers on TV. While you'd never have the chance to get an hour of private time with the real Nat, getting this up-close-and-personal with her exact double wasn't too bad of a consolation prize. At one point she pinned you to the mat with her thighs. It was fucking wild.

"Good work," she huffed when the hour was up.

It was weird to see a simulation out of breath and sweaty. "You act so real," you noted.

Nat laughed. "Guess so. See you back here tomorrow." And with a flash of blue light, she vanished, and the front door to the Sim slid open.

What you never expected was how comfortable you started to become around the Nat simulation, or more surprising, how relaxed and fun she began to act around you. If you didn't know any better, you'd think the Sim was flirting with you. After another month, you built up the courage to wink at her once she pinned you to the mat. Another month later, you made your interests vocal. "Good workout, hot stuff."

Your heart was in your throat. The simulation didn't seem to mind at all, and if you didn't know any better, it seemed like she had reciprocated the interest.

The first time you kissed her, she kissed you back.

The next day your training session was cancelled, and a few hours later, the real Natasha was knocking on your dormitory door. "I've been keeping up with your progress," she started. Your panic was fully visible. "And it's looking good. My Sim seems to think you're ready to up your regiment. Does that sound good to you?"

You nodded, speechless. By the next morning, training was back on your calendar.

"I'm glad you're back," the Sim strutted towards you once you entered her domain. "I made a new proposal for your training."

"Oh?" You were curious.

"If you're interested in learning seduction, it was easy enough for you to simply put in a request. But we're going to need some assistance."

The Sim Room buzzed with blue particulates as the hologram shifted shape. You watched as another simulated figure stepped out from the shadows.

"Just watch what we do, okay? This'll be fun."

#natasha x reader #natasha romanoff #fake movie poster #selfcest #wlw #ai generated #ai art #ai artwork #ai image #mcu #black widow x reader #black widow #scarlett johansson #natasha mcu #marvel mcu #avengers #marvel #marvel cinematic universe

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earthstellar · 8 months

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Image Comics has dropped their solicits for December 2023, and it looks like Duke #1 is where the Transformers/GI Joe crossover is gonna start really kicking off for the Energon Universe.

I know the general reception to the crossover at the end of ROTB was pretty rough, so it's interesting that they're getting the ball rolling in a GI Joe mini-series.

Personally, my dad was drafted into two wars against his will and suffered greatly for it, so I never had any interest in GI Joe because my dad vehemently hated that shit, as he felt it glorified war to children and that this is morally unacceptable. (He preferred the depiction of Army life of that era in MASH, which he said was at least more honest and aimed at adults.)

I also had classmates who ended up joining the military who had been big fans of GI Joe, two of whom were killed in Afghanistan. I know GI Joe wasn't the only factor involved in their decisions, but it certainly does not make me inclined to like the franchise.

My mother lost her first husband in Vietnam. He had also been drafted against his will. (I strongly dislike the GI Joe Vietnam era material in particular, for perhaps obvious reasons.)

So, I admit my general dislike of the concept of GI Joe as a franchise is at least partly based in my own trauma (and that of my family) relating to the US Army.

I've never been a GI Joe person and never will be (on moral and trauma based grounds), so I fully admit I am not well versed on the lore of that universe, and as such, it's hard for me to make any guesses at what Duke #1 might bring.

But what interests me is that on certain forums and other social media, I've seen very limited audience hype about this crossover in general, especially from the Transformers crowd.

After the extremely progressive writing and fresh visual style and designs of the IDW Transformers storylines which appealed to a lot of people across several age ranges and generations of fans, it feels weird (to me at least) to suddenly have a more old school style crossover with what is essentially a US military propaganda franchise-- At a time when the sociopolitical zeitgeist is that "going traditional" is often associated with "going backwards".

All art is political, and so on.

But I do wonder if what seems to be a lack of audience hype is partially due to the fact that not a lot of Transformers fans (at least, not many under the age of 40 based on what I'm seeing around the internet at the moment) seem to be all that into GI Joe.

A lot of young people are not exactly in love with US military fantasies, and the last Transformers comic series with IDW was a big hit with younger/teen readers-- A lot of that audience might be lost, here.

(And vice-versa from what I can tell, although I'm not in any GI Joe fan spaces so I'm not sure what the mood might be in that community in regards to the Transformers element of this crossover.)

All that having been said, the Energon Universe is only just getting started, and who knows what the comics will actually contain!

I do like G1, so I like the designs for the Transformers as drawn in this run this far.

And who knows, maybe they'll do something new with GI Joe for this. I'm aware that in at least one of the cartoons, they were essentially on the run from the military instead of working for it, which is an interesting twist. Perhaps something similar might happen here, with some Joes siding with the Autobots instead?

It's not fair to judge before a comic is even released, so I'm just thinking out loud here in regards to the crossover concept in general.

I'd be interested to hear what anyone else thinks:

Will you be checking out Duke #1 as a Transformers fan interested in the crossover?

Have any of you been interested in GI Joe previously?

If you're an IDW Transformers fan, are you interested in the Energon Universe?

Any other thoughts on the crossover, any conjecture or hopes for the direction of this run?

I want to give the Energon Universe a chance, but as I mentioned, I do have some difficulty attempting to get into GI Joe in general.

That having been said, I guess we'll have to wait and see what they do with this crossover.

#just thinkin #tw military #transformers #energon universe #transformers comics #long post #idw transformers #idw 1 #maccadam #maccadams

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soulsty · 7 months

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....dude Fi was designed to look 13-14 according to the devs. it's really creepy that you ship her with anyone tbh, ESPECIALLY Ghirahim. she's literally a child. says a lot about you imo

Alright alright alright, let’s clear this up.

!DISCLAIMER BEFORE I START!

Do not mistake this post as me trying to excuse weird shit. Ew. I hate pro-shipping. Get it away from me.

Now into the nitty gritty-

Quoting DIRECTLY, from Hyrule Historia, it is on my lap as we speak

“• Looks 13 or 14”

Does this concept art look a lot like our finalized Fi design? Yes it does. This is the second closest to the finalized version in the book

So let’s go over more of this, and the several reasons why I think this isn’t canon.

“• metallic texture”

That didn’t stick around. I often joke that everything in Skyward Sword looks like it’s made out of fondant, and while her clothing does, her skin and wings looks much closer to porcelain.

“• a naive cuteness”

uhh, sure? She never seemed naive to me, but she is still cute so… that stuck I guess?

I don’t need to go over the last bullet point, because that is just true lmao

But here’s the kicker! Right?

“Like the Fairy Queen in Wind Waker”

The Fairy Queen is obviously a child. We know this, look at her, she also flirts with 12 year old Link iirc

But what makes this design look like the fairy queen? The hair does, it’s exactly the same, just parted on the opposite side. The grey-blue color is really similar. Her… eyes? But wait… that’s the same eye type as the regular Great Fairies? And Ghirahim?

She didn’t even carry over the circular toon style eyes in her final design

I’m pretty sure I could assume the Great Fairies in WW are meant to be adults right? Other versions always have been, and they very clearly look like an older version of the Fairy Queen… so why does Fi’s finalized design actually look a bit more like them? From the pointed eyes to the strong nose-to-eyebrow ridge, she’s starting to look less like the Queen to me…

But let’s go back to the concept art. What else does it say?

These are the same design as the other one that says she looks 13-14, just a bit less detailed

hmm… huh… that’s interesting. Her gem changes color? Well, that’s not canon

Wait what? “Connected to the arm, which is why it bends.” She has arms under her wings?

THEY TOOK HER GODDAMN ARMS

So yeah, in that same design where she “looks 13 or 14” she had arms. Do with that what you will

How about we dive even deeper into Fi’s concept art, hmm?

It seems pretty clear to me that she wasn’t meant to be a child character from the start, some of these designs appear child-like (the one next to the iron man design in particular), but lots of these are also just women

But okay, okay, let’s take a step back from Fi’s concept art. How about Ghirahim’s, what does his say?

The same age as Link? This mfer is 17?? Jesus Christ, talk about the jock kid in high school

Jokes aside, I don’t believe that, he refers to Link as a child the entire time, all of his concept art pre-finalized, just looks like old men, so I assume that moreso meant they were straying away from that design element.

I would also like to mention that Ghirahim’s concept art states in his sword form “He shows emotion without using his eyes”

While very clearly showing a picture of him expressing with his eyes, something that remains consistent in-game as well. So this could be translation error, or just… idk honestly it just doesn’t really make sense lmao

The tl;dr of all this concept art talk is this:

Don’t take concept art as fact. As an artist, concept art is literally that. A concept. I have made designs with elements that have been changed drastically by the finalized version. It’s all a process.

SO! Now that we’re done with the concept art, let’s actually move to references from the game.

At the beginning of the game, this is said, by Gaepora and Fi

Link is referred to as “a/the youth” multiple times, as opposed to Fi being referred to once as “youthful in likeness yet wise with knowledge immeasurable.”

Youthful in likeness. Not an actual youth, and the youthful in likeness thing could not even necessarily tie back to saying she looks 13-14, just that she looks young. Youthful is a very large age-range after all.

My second point about in-game… Scrapper. This doesn’t really lead too far, because we have no idea how “old” Scrapper is “supposed to be”, he’s a robot, he has less of an age than Ghirahim and Fi, BUT he’s allowed to be an absolute simp, to the point of calling her “Mistress” non-stop, so idk, that just doesn’t read as something a child would go through to me.

UPDATE: more evidence on the front of Scrapper, when he firsts meets Link, he explicitly doesn’t want to help Link because, and I quote “Serving children is very low in my task priority.” Then Fi appears, blah blah blah, you can’t carry the windmill propeller in your pouch, right? Then Scrapper says “Who are you!?” And does what I can only describe as his version of an AWOOGA (what being “zrrt-FWOOOSH”, paraphrased) and continues, “Your name is…Fi? Should I call you Mistress Fi? Are you looking for something Mistress Fi? …I…understand. At your request, I will carry anything, regardless of weight or destination…”

So there you go, serving children is very low in his priority, Hylia was around at the same time the LD units were active, so Hylia would’ve known about the Scrapper units priorities, (assuming they all have the same priority list) so why would she make a child? Just why? And in the same vein, why would Hylia make her servant sword-spirit a child in the first place, that doesn’t make any sense 😭

Looping back around to where this all started, what does “looks 13 or 14” even specifically mean? She looks that age, not she is that age. And I’m not going to go Lolita topic with this, I’m not here to say “she’s like 1,000 years old! So of course she isn’t a child!” I’m here to say, lots of people look older, or younger than they actually are. She’s almost the same height as Link, so if she were meant to be around his age, she’d probably be around 16, and if she’s 16, and Ghirahim is 17 according to his concept art, where did your argument go?

Speaking realistically, Hylia probably designed her to look young and ‘cute’ so she wouldn’t scare Link. Let’s be real, her personality is intimidating, and she was going to be projecting herself into his dreams, so if she had a intimidating appearance (like some of her old concepts), Link would probably be afraid of her.

That’s all. I could go deeper into some of these points, and add on other things, but I think some stuff is self-explanatory.

Now, even if you want to discredit everything I just said, Ghirahim and Fi are both adults in all of my work. Unless explicitly stated or shown otherwise.

I draw and write them how I envision them in my head. In Skyward Sword, I have always read both of them as adults. I have not aged-up Fi for this ship, that’s fucking weird. They are both adults.

#ghirafi #ghirahim #fi skyward sword #I know I shouldn’t have ever given this person this much time of day at all #but honestly it’s nice to get this out of my system #a lot of this is probably over explained but #I’m autistic whaddya do #I am the one who KNACKs

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oneatlatime · 10 months

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The Blue Spirit

Before we get into the episode, a couple of thoughts that have been rattling around my brain: -Last episode was heavy. I need jokes please. -it's been a while since I've seen a hybrid animal. I thought those were going to be a running gag. -It's been a while since there has been any gorgeous background art. -The last couple of episodes have really pushed Sokka and Katara to the background. I'm missing the ensemble style episodes.

Episode time!

It's Zhao. Hi asshole. Actually this conversation is touching on something I've been wondering about:

The fire nation has bigger fish to fry than a quarter-trained 12 year old.

If this whole episode happens at night time I'm going to really miss my CRT.

Zhao is now turbo asshole. Also there's a weird blue cat on his roof.

Imagine having a sick day on an Appa couch. Heavenly. And where are they hiding this time? Why is there a giant tapestry?

Looks like this won't be much of a Sokka episode.

Not going to be a Katara episode either. This is a novel way of benching your side characters.

How does airbending make you go faster? I could see earthbending making you faster, just by moving your running surface, but how does Aang do it?

I do like roadrunner shenenigannery.

Momo doesn't understand English confirmed. Also he has green-tinted vision? Do his irises coat his pupils? That would be weird.

Behold! A non-hydrid animal.

"It's been almost an hour and you haven't given the men an order." Ouch. Burn.

I'm not much of a Zuko fan, but even I have to admit that this is a sucky situation in a long line of sucky situations. You have to feel for him here.

Frog popsicles. Did not see that coming. Note the lack of hybridity.

Now he looks like those arrow guys.

Using aerial weaponry against an airbender seems really stupid. I guess they've got numbers one their side.

Is literally everybody in this world a professionally trained acrobat? Do all four nations include that in the school curriculum?

Compensating?

Could the action wait until morning please? I can't see.

Zhao doubling down on the asshole behaviour. Not cool. Keeping someone barely alive in captivity for as long as possible has to be some sort of war crime. Waging a war for a century against an entire planet is probably also a war crime, so again, bigger fish. There are assholes that are entertaining to watch and fun to root for, and assholes that are just plain mean. Zhao is now firmly in the latter category.

Poor Momo is trying his best. Zhao's right about there being no one to rescue Aang this time though. Even Appa's benched by babysitting duties.

The blue cat is back. Clinging to the underside of a moving cart using just your fingernails has got to be murder on the hands.

Good lord these guards are blind. This episode is too dark for me to see anything but I still saw blue cat guy hot foot it into the compound. His mask even has white parts.

Oh god he's monologuing. Blegh. Although convenient for blue cat guy. A desire to monologue may be Zhao's most consistent character trait.

Did the frogs do that?

The hallway-that-eats-our-guys just ate one of our guys. What should we do? How about send two more of our guys down the hallway-that-eats-our-guys? And leave only one to guard the door keeping the world's most powerful bender contained? Sounds good.

CAT.

He extinguished that guy! That gets funnier the more I think about it. All that fancy bending, years of training, and your fatal weakness is a bucket.

Exactly how many of those sword flourishes were necessary?

I like the blue cat's theme music. It's some sort of wind instrument, a bit kazoo-like, but it sounds a lot like this plastic toy trumpet I had as a kid that I'd play with whenever I was mad at my parents. I loved that thing, but it mysteriously vanished one day.

Blue cat is doing some seriously precision sword bending. Imagine if he'd missed? How do you live down cutting off the Avatar's hands and feet?

It WAS the frogs! Caught red- um. Footed? Do frogs have hands?

The return of One Man Army Aang.

Blue cat is surprisingly go with the flow for having just been catapulted dozens of feet without warning. Stuck the landing too. Sort of.

I'm sure there's some fascinating fight choreography going on at the moment but I CAN'T SEE IT.

Aang can briefly function as a load-bearing helicopter. Briefly.

So… how many of these guards are dead?

I am a dumb! How did I NOT see that coming? I am dumb! Much dumb!

Turns out there is one hairstyle worse than Zuko's usual.

In addition to roadrunnering, helicoptering, and ladderwalking, Aang can also carry someone taller and heavier than him at high speeds while fleeing the enemy. Is there anything airbending can't do?

Or maybe it was the frogs. Also I just realised that Fire Nation ships are shaped like Fire Nation shoes. I bet those shoes give you bunions.

Zuko was out for a WHILE. Might want to get that head wound checked out.

This hit unexpectedly hard. This episode's second surprisingly heavy scene. Can't they at least hug?

Was the kazoo-trumpet diagetic all along?

"Did you make any new friends?" "No. I don't think I did." Me:

Appa is your friend, not your toothbrush.

Final Thoughts

This was a character episode disguised as an action episode. Which I did not realise until I figured out that Blue cat man was Zuko all along.

Firebender Zuko has chihuahua energy. Blue Spirit Zuko has cat energy. Discuss.

Everyone needed a hug this episode. Including me. Except Zhao. Screw Zhao.

Zuko seems much more confident with those swords than he is with his fire. I don't mean to compare skill levels; I have no way of evaluating that. I mean he seems more sure of his movements with swords. Fire makes him shouty. Swords make him dance.

Can't really say much about Sokka and Katara this episode, although I do like that the reason they're out of commission is a direct consequence of last episode's exploits. Makes the through narrative feel more grounded if the small things as well as the large plot points have continuity/consequences.

Momo! Poor Momo. He really tried! Actually, I've been assuming, but is Momo a boy lemur?

I am utterly indifferent to the Arrow guys. Nice bit of stealthy worldbuilding, but I'll eat my hat if they ever recur.

This episode was The Storm part 2. Parallel angst threads concluding in the two mains staring contemplatively in silence after each other? Yep. Storm Part 2. This episode may have had even less humour than The Storm. I found the recurring frog jokes worked better than the Sokka and Katara are sick jokes.

I've been kind of nitpicky about this episode, but don't get me wrong, I did enjoy it. Kind of really ended on a downer though. It's also contributing to a growing suspicion of mine: would they pour all this development into Zuko, and set up a more powerful villain to take his place, if they meant for Zuko to stay the villain? The show started giving us insight into Zuko's character, and arguably a reason to pity him, at the same time as it gave us those things for Aang - The Southern Air Temple. This show has 60-some episodes. Would you humanise your villain in episode three if he was supposed to be the antagonist for the rest of the show's run? You could, but it would be a waste of writing energy. So what's going to happen? Is this war going to have three sides? I can't see Zuko fully switching sides, when his reasons for chasing Aang are so personal. Whatever Honour means in the fire nation, Zuko's only way to get it back seems to be capturing Aang. I can't think of anything Aang could give him that would be worth forever forfeiting his Honour.

I think this episode made the correct choice, in not having Zuko say anything when he wakes up in the forest with Aang. Like the end of the Southern Air Temple, and the end of (I think?) the Winter Solstice Part 2, some moments are enough - no dialogue needed. But - bear with me as I stray into fanfiction territory - wouldn't it be fascinating to hear the conversation Aang and Zuko might have had? And isn't it neat that Aang chose the conversational topic he did - not questioning why Zuko rescued him, but attempting to reach out? There was a choice made in his one-sided conversation with Zuko that I want to pick at. I can't put into words why I found that short scene so impactful. But I want to pick at it.

I'll be rewatching this episode on the CRT in my parents' basement when I can, because the brightness on my little laptop just does not go high enough. This episode was dark. Fittingly so, but still. I want to SEE.

#atla #avatar: the last airbender #the blue spirit #avatar the last airbender

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where-fading-princesses-live · 3 months

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Hot take. As much as I'm excited to see the new Mean Girls (2024) adaptation of the 2018 Broadway musical (I'm a big fan of both the 2004 movie and the musical), I really hope this doesn't start a new trend of ''musical movie adaptations of Broadway musicals based on movies''.

The 2017-2018 Broadway season saw a lot of new musicals based on classic movies.

Amelie, Anastasia, A Bronx Tale, Groundhog Day, and The Band's Visit (which won the Tony Award for Best Musical in 2018), just to name a few.

Not to mention the more recent ones like Beetlejuice and Back to the Future. The list goes on.

Now if you take movies like Amelie and Groundhog Day for example which became instant cinema classics, the stage versions only enhanced the source material which is what a good musical does.

However, by re-adapting a musical that's based on a movie back into the original medium it started with, it always runs the risk of being an exact repeat of the original movie with added musical numbers, and therefore, feels entirely unnecessary to exist.

I guess that's the main criticism of the new Mean Girls, especially with its weird marketing to hide the fact that it was a musical to not dissuade the old Mean Girls fans or the average movie goer who doesn't like musicals (and this was the main negative response I was seeing from people who went in to the movie theater blind and left halfway through because they were surprised it was a musical and didn't expect the actors to burst into song and this turned them off). But then the absence of musical numbers--narrowing it down to 12 shorter more cinematic pop versions of the original songs and cutting out 14 of the most beloved songs from the stage version--ended up alienating the musical theatre crowd who were expecting a more faithful adaptation of the Broadway musical. Like it's a musical that doesn't even want to be musical.

So who was this movie for exactly? If not for the musical theatre crowd who didn't like the changes to the songs, and if not for the non-musical fans who didn't like the songs regardless, who was this movie for??? It seems the producers wanted to market it more towards non-musical fans, but they really shouldn't have concerned themselves with trying to attract old Mean Girls fans who already know the 2004 movie by heart and wouldn't have accepted a remake, songs or no songs either way. If it was a MUSICAL adaptation, the target audience should have been the dedicated musical fanbase, which is more than the producers give it credit for. Mean Girls the musical has been licensed to high schools and performed by performing arts schools and has gained a lot of popularity that way. There was no shortage of people who would have gone to see this movie, myself included.

My point is, if one is going to go through all the trouble of adapting a musical based on a movie back into a movie, the least it can do is preserve the musical theatre genre.

On the other hand, the new Mean Girls is actually gaining mostly positive reviews despite its flaws, and some are even calling it the best Musical Movie since Chicago.

I've been following its production and I've been listening to the soundtrack non-stop (the changes don't bother me that much, in fact, my only complaint is that the songs are too short like they really should have had the full versions of ''Meet the Plastics'' and ''What's Wrong with Me?'' including its reprise and I just wish they maintained more of the original songs, like I understand cutting out the filler ones like ''Who's House is This?'' because no one would seriously miss that one but songs like ''Where Do You Belong'', ''Stop'', ''Fearless'', and ''More'' would have benefited the score in my opinion because there's so much character development that's missing otherwise). I'm still excited to see it, but I do hope its success doesn't cause a new cinematic trend. I really don't think I want to see Groundhog Day as a musical movie for example, because the Broadway version is so perfect and I would hate for them to ruin both the original movie and the musical.

Mean Girls made some interesting choices to re-adapt its story with mixed results, and I don't think it's a bad thing. But things like this are usually one-hit wonders and I don't want to see Hollywood jump the bandwagon on this one and just leave well enough alone.

#mean girls #mean girls musical #mean girls (2024)#personal shit

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paalove · 6 months

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just reread nothing to lose and i am once again thinking about "pran doesn’t listen to his parents about much, right?" pran doesn't listen to his parents about much... pran doesn't listen to his parents about much... AHHHHH!!!

also thinking about how the week I finished bad buddy I was like PRAN ELLA ENCHANTED AU and just rotating this in my mind along with that concept. idk if you have read ella enchanted but as a possible prompt— a bad buddy, pran cursed with obedience! au

HEY. YOU SENT THIS MONTHS AGO AND I'VE THOUGHT ABOUT IT WEEKLY SINCE. 🥰

first: thank you ily, im glad you like that tiny little au it's one of my favourite pocket-universes <3

second: main fic coming in... hopefully the next couple of weeks? meanwhile here is a scattered little multi-pov intro to the fic i HAVE been calling "ella enpranted" xoxo

...

“Listen to me, Pran,” his mother says.

He does, because she’s his mother, and he does because he has to.

Concern etched into the lines of her face, deep deep worry and upset in her eyes, she orders him, “Stay away from that boy as much as you can,” and Pran will, because he has to.

As much as he can.

…

It’s hard to track him down this week – sometimes Pran gets skittish – but Pat finds him on Wednesday! It’s just been art, and Pat is taking the not-allowed-but-whatever shortcut that goes behind and around the weird little separate building that’s been used for art since they switched where all the languages rooms are, and there-

“Pran!” he calls, running over.

As he does, Pran’s head jerks up and he looks over and his eyes go wide, face startled, but he doesn’t look mad so Pat knows he’s only stashing his books away because he likes an escape route, he’s not mad at Pat.

So, Pat grabs the folder furthest from Pran and picks it up, flipping through and seeing a bunch of physics notes in Pran’s neat handwriting and smooth, black ink, because Pran never seems to have a pen go dry in the middle of writing anything, it’s all so even and careful.

Pran reaches out for it, then his hand freezes like an inch away from it and he says, “Pat, give that back.”

“No,” Pat says, but he’s smiling at Pran and Pran smiles back.

Shaking his head and turning – saying with his shoulders I’m not waiting for you and saying with the half smile but you can follow me if you want, I guess, it’s whatever – Pran says, “I need the folder back at some point.”

“I’ll give it back later,” Pat agrees.

Pran runs off when he doesn’t have something hostage, but he’s never mad about Pat taking his stuff. It’s just a game they play.

…

“Has someone told you to do something you don’t want to?”

She’s genuinely concerned, he knows that.

But she hasn’t ordered him to be honest, so he’s got enough leeway to not say you, Mae, it’s always you, because that would hurt her feelings and it wouldn’t change anything anyway, and Pran instead says, “The teacher assigned us both to be in the band,” and lets her remember all that trial and error, years ago, when they had to figure out how the orders worked.

Pran’s parents know that his too-powerful, too-flighty aunt’s gift was for them, so their orders normally take precedence over anyone else’s; they also know that their later orders take precedence over earlier ones, unless they specifically build something in, like telling him to disregard later ones that contradict the one they’re making right now. This pause is, he’s sure, letting his mother remember telling him to always consider teachers’ orders to outweigh all but a select few of her own.

Of course, most of what Pran’s figured out, he hasn’t told them.

Or even written down.

It’s safer to keep what he knows to himself.

His mother closes her eyes, nods, and says, “I suppose it couldn’t be avoided at that school.”

Pran wishes he had any way of stopping what comes next.

…

Dissaya’s son is honest, kind, and good.

Those are things she knows about him, things that she needs to protect and nourish and help to grow, and things that can’t be poisoned in him the way they were in her. She doesn’t like making him sad, dragging him away from his friends, but Pran is so vulnerable.

Moreso because of the gift.

It made her heart freeze in her chest the first time she saw him on the playground, some smaller child cheering him on, Higher! Higher, and the face of frozen fear on Pran’s face not even slightly getting in the way of how high he was swinging-

She still shudders to think of it.

Her sister-in-law was unrepentant when she called. Of course a gift of obedience doesn’t stop at the walls of their household, she’d laughed, but it’s always going to be stronger for family, isn’t that nice?

It’s not in her nature to yell, really, especially not at her husband’s beloved little sister, but she made an exception that day.

And then she had started to plan.

The idea that her careful planning and careful instructions to Pran haven’t been enough, haven’t kept him safe…

She’s never a coward except when it comes to Pran.

Dissaya sends him away.

…

It’s not written down, not anywhere, but Pran has a list of things he knows to be true about his gift.

His parents’ gift.

If his parents tell him, directly, to do something, he can’t help but do it. There’s no resisting directly, from the second he hears the order he begins to carry it out.

Physically impossible orders are an absolute exception – they arrive at Pran’s ears like normal, non-magical words, just the way a normal sentence works for anyone else on earth. He won’t try to fly if someone tells him to.

If anyone outside his family tells him directly to do something possible, it depends on what his parents have said first, but normally… he has to do it.

Pat telling him to race counts.

Pat whining at him to stop ignoring him also counts.

Pran has some leeway in deciding what counts.

In fact, Pran decides what an order means. He can know his parents meant one thing, but if the actual words they used mean something else… Pran can pick, kind of. Only kind of. He’s been experimenting with those limits for years.

The final part of it, the part that he’s known from the start and can never let himself forget or forgive, is the part that’s least useful and most essential.

8. It’s not a gift.

Because Pran has those old orders – keep yourself safe, don’t hurt others, and always prioritise teachers over other kids – and they make something like a shield, but one that it hurts to hold. The order to ignore other people’s orders no matter what never, never worked.

They must be physically impossible. Or something like that.

#patpran #bad buddy #bad buddy series #robfic

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obsidianstrawberrymilk · 2 years

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AU where Bruce isn’t a billionaire but just you’re regular everyday history teacher. He still has all his martial arts training and stuff because he meets Selina and Talia in college and is like ‘hot women... must be able to keep up with her in a fight...’ and no parents (well Alfred exists but yk), but is otherwise normal. No Batman.

Then he meets small Dick Grayson, recently orphaned in a whole new country, and his adoption senses are like ‘hnggg’.

And small Jason Todd before his mom dies and he winds up on the streets so when Jason goes missing from class he gets worried and finds him and is like ‘hey Dick do you want a new brother’.

Given Tim went to boarding schools I can’t see him meeting him first, so maybe he meets Steph first?? And he notices how no one seems to care where she is etc and is like ‘can I adopt you??’

And THEN Tim’s parents die ig and then Steph’s like ‘yo can you adopt by bestie’.

And then he meets Cass I guess?? Not as a teacher. Maybe she saves him from being mugged or something and his child sense immediately tingles and he’s like ‘child?? With?? No home?? Would you like me to-’

Reiterating he’s a history teacher, so he probably has like a three bedroom apartment and already has five kids.

Then Talia is like ‘hehe soo remember when I said I miscarried well ACTUALLY-’ and Bruce is like ‘wtf this is a. child. Why does child have. Sword.’ And Talia’s like ‘oh I thought you’d use all your martial arts training to go out dressed up as a Bat and beat up bad guys so I could use the terrifying image you cast as a way to train our son more.’ And Bruce like ‘wtf no I have better coping mechanisms than that’ ‘oh - wait why are there so many rats here?’ ‘THOSE ARE MY CHILDREN TALIA-’

Dick still hates Talia because I find that hilarious. Damian is like five, already carting around a sword, and Bruce DOES NOT have exactly one (1) coping mechanism of cage fights in a fursuit so he’s like ‘Okay. Let’s try to work out your aggression is a less violent way’ ‘FATHER I WILL BE YOUR ONE TRUE HEIR’ ‘To what? My teaching job? Okay.’

Then Duke’s parents are Jokerized (bc the Rogues still exist) and he stops showing up to class and Bruce gets worried again and finds this child trying to take on the Joker by himself and is like ‘okay yeah no’.

And then one day he gets Cullen Row in class, and he’s a sweet kid, kind of jumpy, but then he sees some assholes picking on him for being gay and goes all teacher mode and is like ‘do you want me to talk to your parents??’ and Cullen’s like ‘lol my dad would probably give them a medal’ ‘Hmmm okay so can I adopt-’ Naturally Harper is a package deal.

Basically Bruce adopts all his kids but IS NOT a violent furry so he’s a good dad and doesn’t enlist them into his weird ass ‘war on crime’ or whatever he calls it.

Also the kids get to share rooms now and fight over bathrooms-

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hannahhook7744 · 1 year

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Claudine Frollo Application revamped;

Trigger warnings; Child abuse, neglect, religious trauma, etc.

🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️

Name: Claudine Esther-Mary Frollo.

Known Aliases: The Mouse girl, the rat girl, the weird religious girl, the Belle girl, that weird Frollo girl, Crepe girl, Ms. Swabbie, She who does not make a sound, and Harriet's Swabbie.

Nicknames or Other: red, Mousey, the meek mouse, Classy, Leftie, the carrot top, Brainy, Dean, Essie, Einstein, Claudy, Dinny, Dina, Didi, Claw, Cherry, Bluey, Rosie, little Rose, Ruby, Brainiac, Beagle, mystery, Rusty, Scarlet, star girl, Spitfire, chatterbox, and Bookworm.

Do not ever call me angel or goddess.

Date of Birth or Best Guess: November 1st, eighteen to nineteen years ago.

Place of Birth: the isle of the lost on the second floor of Frollo's Creperie.

Favorite Color: Grey because it reminds me of my rat friend and it's neutral.

it also makes my father less angry and less likely to punish me—

Favorite Activity: can I put more than one? I've heard you can put more than one, so I'm going to do that. Sorry if it's wrong and impolite. I like baking, cooking, drawing, painting, listening to music, reading, doing experiments, oil painting, tie-dye, sewing, playing music, sailing, learning languages, learning, and reading/writing poetry.

Favorite School Subject; Home ec because it's one of the only classes I have other than my bible study classes. I'm home-schooled, so I don't know any other classes one would have.

Father's Name (or alias): Claude Frollo.

Mother's Name (or alias): I don't know. My father doesn't like to talk about her and made that very clear the one time I asked. I think she's dead.

Father's Profession: Owner of Frollo's Creperie.

Mother's Profession: She's dead so none.

Who is your favorite of the first wave of VKs? There is no wrong answer.

Evie, I guess. She seemed really nice and didn't treat me as if I was creepy like her friends did.

In your own words, tell us why you want to come to Auradon. There is no wrong answer.

There's no wrong answer? Then I'll be honest.

I want to come to Auradon because I can't stand living on the same island as my father. It might seem harsh but it's the truth and you wouldn't understand unless you were here.

Everyone knows how he treats me. Knows how he's trying to keep me dumb so I won't go exploring 'sinful' things that I have interest in like equal rights, science, art, and music. Knows that he works me halfway to death and punishes me harshly for everything—even things out of my control.

I am everything my father despises.

Red headed, female, left handed, feminist, etc. He hates everything about me and makes it clear every time he sees me.

I don't feel safe here. I fear for my life and the lives of those harboring me.

They may be stronger than me and him but he has more power than us.

More influence.

And that scares me. Please, you're all supposed to be good and sweet and kind and right. You're supposed to be heroes and save people. So, save me and the other kids of the isle.

Please. I'll be good.

I promise.

Please.

I'll do anything, just get me out of here before he kills me. I don't want to see hellfire. I don't want to go back to the closet or the flames. Please. Why did you let this happen? Why didn't you help us? What did we do wrong—

Signature:

Claudine Esther-Mary Frollo.

#disney descendants #descendants #melissa de la cruz #claudine descendants #descendants claudine #claudine frollo #disney descendants applications

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p5x-theories · 5 months

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Thoughts: P5X and P5T

Like Strikers, Tactica introduces two new party members. Unlike Strikers, the new characters aren’t proper Phantom Thieves. That isn’t a bad thing, but it does raise questions for how they’ll be handled if they come to P5X as Phantom Idols.

Toshiro is a Persona user, but he doesn’t have a Metaverse outfit. And he has a mask, but it only appears long enough to be ripped off. Erina is very explicitly not a Persona user. Neither character received a codename.

If these characters come to P5X they could provide a blueprint for how other potential Phantom Idols are handled.

If Toshiro receives an outfit and codename that he didn’t have in the game that introduced him it seems likely that the same thing would happen to other Persona users that don’t have such things, but if he’s just Toshiro that would indicate that they don’t want to stray too far from existing depictions.

And how would Erina be handled? Would they give the Idol version of her a Persona II that the original version didn’t have? Would they emphasize her flag as a substitute? Or would they say that she still doesn’t need one at all?

But regardless of how they’re handled I want them to come to P5X so they can have models in the same style as the rest of the cast.

Completely agree! Especially with that last point- as much as I enjoyed the P5T art style, it’d be really nice for them to have models that both match the main game’s style and also like... make it more clear how old Toshiro is... actually supposed to be, haha? I guess he has to be at least 25 (or 30) depending on what part of the National Diet he was actually in, but I feel like part of the “pops” nickname effect is kind of lost when the art style barely makes him look older than the Phantom Thieves and Erina, even if they had a different look for him in high school.

That aside, addressing the actual meat of what you’re saying here, personally my hope would be that they do actually give him an outfit and codename! It felt like such a cop-out to me that he didn’t get one. But as you said, it would probably set a standard for any other characters they bring in to P5X who lack outfits + codenames to get one, and I’m not sure that, for instance, the previous games’ casts really need that. So I guess it’s hard to say.

As for Erina, like you brought up, she’s a totally different category. I feel like it’d make the most sense for her not to be her own unit, and instead just be Toshiro’s Persona (or maybe an alternate “version” of Toshiro, like you’ve suggested in other posts, ex. for Akechi’s outfits, if they really want her to be “playable” herself)? But they could really go any way with her, I think, and we don’t have anyone else to possibly reference for how she might be handled right now (Ryoji in P3 might be the closest, since he’s also a weird situation where he can be a separate person with a personality, but turns into Thanatos at will to show P3′s protag once he gets his memories back, and- well, anyway, he’s not in P5X at the moment either, haha.)

#submission #p5t spoilers #theories #toshiro kasukabe #erina

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power464646 · 7 months

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So I guess I promised some friends a breakdown of the PMMM trailer

I think I should kick this off by saying I'm really writing this so I have a fast way of dropping all my hypothesising into a chat in one go. If you're not someone who knows me, I mean I guess you can read on anyway but like... don't expect these notes to be super coherent if you're not familiar with my arcane manner of diction. I'm only warning you, dear reader, because I love you.

Ok that got kind of weird. Let's start at the only place it really makes sense to.

Part 1: What on Earth actually happened at the end of Rebellion?

I see a lot of people who are confused about what exactly the final act of Rebellion implies. I see one of these people every time I look into a mirror. Still, let's try breaking it down.

So Homura, having broken out of the isolation field, is suddenly free to reunite with her girlfriend who is probably literally heaven. You almost can't tell that this anime is influenced a lot by nineteenth century theatre.

So that's all well and good, until Homura grabs Madoka's wrists and does... something.

What the hell's happening here?

...actually, the concept movie of all things does clarify a little, which someone's been kind enough to upload to Youtube with subtitles.

Now, you may be wondering: "The concept movie? Is that even still on the cards? I thought it was just a bunch of concept art and short animations." Or maybe you're thinking, "What the fuck is the concept movie?" And look, the thing is we're going to get to that.

Fuck me sideways this is going to be a long post.

So it appears Homura has somehow removed Madoka from the Law of Cycles - this is reinforced in Rebellion a few scenes later when she suggests as much to Sayaka, who she theorises was pulled back to Earth alongside Madoka (and Nagisa). But what's interesting about the concept movie is the implication that somehow there now exists a Madoka in heaven AND a Madoka on Earth.

Immediately after she does the Mysterious Thing, Homura's labyrinth grows to encompass the entire universe. Homura then bites down upon, and shatters, her own soul gem - and on a side note, Rebellion has surrounded her with the imagery of E.T.A. Hoffman's The Nutcracker and the Mouse King, in which biting through and swallowing the legendary nut Krakatuk is the only way to break the curse of the Mouse Queen. In biting through her own soul gem, Homura is presumably no longer cursed, whatever that means. This probably has something to do with her speech about having risen above hope and curses, and now having mind-melded with the gay allegations. The rumour come out, and it conquer the universe. Is she immortal now? Resistant to being cursed? Who knows?

Following this, she gets some crazy kind of power up, which largely seems to involve wearing a hideous cocktail dress. Conspicuously absent in the extremely low cut of the dress is her heart surgery scar.

What?

Like, we know she's had heart surgery. This is one of the first facts we learn about her. Have you ever seen the scars from heart surgery? They're huge! So where is it? It's almost like the writer is a hack fraud who keeps forgetting that his own protagonist is severely disabled. But come on, there's no way that's the case, right?

Um.

So moving on, it's now the Incubator's turn to bear the world's suffering in the stead of magical girls. I... don't think it's super clear what this means?

"To handle all the curses that have spread around our world, you Incubators are now necessary for us. So you'll be staying to help, Incubator."

From the looks of the little dude in the ending scene, though, I'd not be too shocked if he was out of commission for a while.

I could talk about the school hallway scene but I know you himedanshi fucks know that like the back of your hand. Instead I'm going to talk about

Alright this image isn't really doing me any favours straight after I say I'm not going to talk about yuri. But bear with me here.

Homura appears to be capable of completely wiping Sayaka's memory by simply clapping her hands - which is all well and good, as spinoff material (especially Wraith Arc- aww nuts, I'm going to have to talk about Wraith Arc too now) states that memory manipulation is her power in the post-episode-12 universe.

Meanwhile, in her own labyrinth in Rebellion, Homura seems to be able to stop time just fine. Could it be that now that her labyrinth is the new universe, she has access to both powers? Well, she disappears instantly after wiping Sayaka's memory, so it could be the case.

What if she starts manipulating the memories of other people too...?

I'd like to briefly bring up another moment from Wraith Arc, where Homura expresses frustration with being able to remember a world nobody else can, and how it makes her own account of the past harder to believe. If she starts clearing the past from the memories of everyone around her...

...would she have a hard time remembering it, too?

Part 2: So I basically watched the new trailer frame by frame like some kind of nerd

Here's some shit I noticed.

We open on this smug jerk who looks a lot like Homura but is smiling way too much. At first I presumed she was some new girl who looks a lot like Homura and that's as far as the connection goes, plus she has a telephone that fucking sucks. I thought this because she also appears on the movie poster, which also has a phone that sucks.

Look at that thing. What the hell.

But then I noticed:

The lounge she's sitting on is in the shape of a lizard, and

The red energy from which she conjures her phone is also a lizard.

I don't know if you've noticed, but lizards are kind of Homura's thing now. See the epithet she gives herself in the screencaps of the concept movie above. If you're still not convinced, go back through Rebellion, and count the number of times a weird squiggly lizard shows up in association with Homura. I count at least three. Here's one on her new not-soul-gem:

So, alright. What we have here is some kind of mysterious doppelgänger fooling about, maybe. A product of Homura's soul absorbing the universe? Potentially. We've seen a fair share of doppelgängers in her soul gem, of varying degrees of dubiousness:

Another doesn't seem too far-fetched, even if she does appear prominently enough in this promotional material to imply she could be her own character.

Not sure I trust her dress sense, though. Those frills look a little familiar.

The rest of this section of the trailer appears to be Madoka and this smiling Homura finishing each other's sentences, which is also how the concept movie opened. Is Madoka being puppeteered about? Is she under some kind of spell? Is there also some dubious other-Madoka and she and other-Homura are doing some Wario and Waluigi shit? I don't know. I don't know.

We immediately get a montage of Walpurgisnacht and Homura in black and white, using archival footage from the TV series and Rebellion. It ends with a gradually increasing focus on some kind of freaky eye motif:

It feels like it bears mentioning a similar focus on a singular freaky eye in the concept movie:

Could this have any sort of relationship to the giant eye at the end of the Magia ED?

fucking i dont know this is all guesswork

After the montage, we're introduced to this figure. Who are they?

I think we can only guess. Probably Madoka, since other main characters have been getting new outfits, and if I may yet again refer to the concept movie, this wouldn't be our first look at Madoka in a darker outfit than normal:

But it still looks pretty different. In fact, it seems to incorporate elements of Homura's and Mami's older outfits.

now the rational hypothesis is shes finally hit her growth spurt and is getting everyones hand me downs,

Next we get to what I think is the single most interesting shot in the whole trailer:

Some figure (maybe the figure in the last shot, maybe Madoka, maybe they're the same person) becomes absorbed by what I've taken to calling the "Legendary Beast Wraith" (LBW), which doesn't really fit the bill of what wraiths look like at all. The electronic text seems pretty par for the course, as the more powerful a wraith gets, the more its physiology assumes the form of primitive, abstract shapes. From Wraith Arc:

The concept movie corroborates this explicitly by having Oktavia fight a Satori wraith.

But the gratuitous German and the gnashing teeth don't seem to fit with a wraith's M.O. at all. whatever LBW has going on seems far more up a witch's alley.

There's...

There's precedent for this.

The premise of Wraith Arc, for the uninitiated, is that wraiths are wary of the power of emotions, positive or negative, and that while they're not lethal like witches, they do incapacitate people by stealing their emotions and processing them into grief cubes.

A powerful group of wraiths stole Homura's emotions this way, but found themselves incapable of properly processing her feelings, and instead began taking on the likenesses of people she knew. One particularly powerful wraith, which had taken the bulk of her emotional energy, began to mutate and take on the qualities of Kriemhild Gretchen. It became known as the spindle witch.

Don't ask too many tricky questions about this. Nobody understands Wraith Arc's final chapter, and it's not good. All I'm saying is there's precedent for wraiths with witch qualities.

But witch whic-

But whitch-

But which... witch... has LBW taken on qualities from, if this is the case?

Well, I'd like to bring to your attention four points.

The text in the latter of the screenshots of Leg Before Wicket's miasma reads "who" (I can't read Japanese, I'm just the messenger here) which feels like it's teasing the wraith's identity.

Walpurgisnacht is conspicuously absent in the second half of a trailer of a movie named after her.

Lower Body Workout's first initial stands for "Legendary", so it might be safe to presume we're looking after a monster of great renown.

That monochrome montage from earlier put forward a name that might fit the bill:

If witches don't exist in the new world, wraith!Walpy seems about as plausible as anything else.

It also bears mentioning that whoever this is jumping into it appears to have left their shoes on the ledge they're jumping from. I doubt they expect to survive whatever's happening to them in this shot.

Bear with me. It looks like the eggheads at Tumblr are telling me to pack this in at thirty images. I'm going to have to make a second part to this.

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